i-am-harmless

[i-am-harmless]

since the Stan twins can feel eachother's pain, does that mean when jerk-ford broke his ribs and arm, Stan felt it?

Fun fact: The Stan Twins hate Legos. They really hate them.

Jerk Ford has a very high threshold for pain because even though he wasn't getting into fights as often as a lot of the Fordverse, he was still getting chased out of places and hunted for sport by his hate club, and he was shot at a lot. Like, alot a lot. Bro's upper body looks like he's been through the iron maiden more than once.

He really should have died or been maimed from the amount of punishment he was taking from the multiverse, but he creates his own regenerative drugs and that's the only reason why he still has fully functional limbs and organs.

He patents these in dimensions that he feels like he'd be stuck in for prolonged periods, and to deter anyone from stealing these formulas he put in a contingency; any of the medicines he makes have a near debilitating drawback of causing terrible pain, terrible headaches, or a mix of both. This is a dick move to anyone who tries stealing them, as Jerk Ford is the only one who knows which added compounds are causing it.

So even healing was pretty painful for him throughout his thirty year adventure, and eventually he just built up an insane resistance to pain.

The twinstinct isn't a 100% pain sharing. It's more like - your twin gets hurt and you feel an acute awareness of 'my twin is hurting there in this way', they aren't literally experiencing the pain physically but the brain thinks they are. Their twinstinct is more geared to the emotional rather than the physical, after all. It's more like a phantom pain.

However, the broken arm and ribs were still pretty bad for Stan, but he was also on fire and actively being beaten with a shovel by Soos at the time so he already had some adrenaline and his own pain to temper it out.

But even when Soos stopped beating him with a shovel he was still struggling to make words, and 'trying to break away from Soos' - he was writhing from the pain and it took him a minute to recover from the shock.

Phantom pain or lack thereof is how Jerk Ford knew that the being outside of the dimension cut the twinstinct off - once Bill was jettisoned out of his brain and body, he should have been feeling a burn on the back of his shoulder, but he wasn't.

Although, it miraculously functioned twice in the thirty years Jerk Ford was in the multiverse, but neither could be completely sure if it was the twinstinct or something they were imagining it or mistaking it.

The first time, it was emotional in nature, from Stanley; when their parents died, Jerk Ford got a very profound feeling that he just knew they were dead. The second time, it was from Jerk Ford and physical in nature, but he has absolutely no memory of it.

[i-am-harmless]

Thinking about Hitman Stan scenarios-

Stanford's college is on a trip but unfortunately it's not a good place as its not one of the best colleges. Some bad guys take the group hostage (either to try get money from police or sell organs- idk) and the police keeps getting anonymous tips from a 'witness'.

Unfortunately for said 'witness', it's a small town so the police first don't believe him (until stanle- I mean- the witness starts paying others to make the calls and tell them about the hostages) and then they simply can't do anything as it's a small town so they aren't equipped for it- they say they have to wait for reinforcements and it would take a half the day. Stanley knows they'd be gone by then.

So why not just??? Do it himself???? He tells the police that he will make an opening for them, along with a few many threats if they don't turn up before he goes ahead and uses his Hitman skills to save a group of nerds and hippies instead.

Now, Stanley is a well known Hitman (known under another name) so he's like a pro at what he dies but his cool entrance just so happens to be crawling through a window and face planting the floor right in front of all those students (and his brother. And his brother's cute friend).

No one takes him seriously after that, especially his twin who (as expected) isn't happy to see him- Stanford is worried his dumb brother is going to get killed trying to play hero.

Stanley deals with the situation well, he manages to leave the room and ignores the cries for help in order to clear the outside of potential threats. When he's back he's a bit dirty with blood and they all look in horror at him but it's A-Ok! Because Ford is safe!

Of course, when more men rush in it's harder- Not like Stanley can just shoot them in front of them. That'd be traumatising! So, with the skills of someone who's been doing this for a lifetime and is hot while doing it, Stan casually tries to stop the others as less gruesomely as possible- he'll dislocate a few bones, break a few necks, knock a few guys out but tries to not let the poor innocent students see anything traumatising like blood (Bro does not know that he is traumatising them all the same).

By the time he's done the police comes, he drops a bit of cash in Stanford's hand "for the school trip c:" and crawls out the window.

[i-am-harmless]

Jerk Ford AU: Clickbait Title

Jerk Ford and Anti-Ford became friends allies relatively early in Jerk Ford's adventure into the Multiverse, maybe year five of so out of thirty, so it's been long enough for all of the portaled versions of Stanford Pines to establish the known multiverse of their alternates (The "Fordverse"), and for Jerk Ford to have his reputation as the biggest jerk version of Ford Pines. And the formation of his Hate Club who want to capture and/or kill him, to keep him from sullying their shared name free the multiverse of his reign of jerkiness.

Just as there is allegedly only one confirmation of another Ford almost killing Jerk Ford, there is also only one confirmed capture of Jerk Ford, and it was by his now-ally The Anti-Ford.

How did Anti-Ford manage to catch Jerk Ford when the rest of the Fordverse couldn't? It was some Looney Toons bullsh*t he pulled, that's how.

The thing is, the Fordverse looked at all of Jerk Fords unusual traits and decided he was as completely unlike a Ford as one could be without being an Anti- version, so they didn't view or treat him like one of them.

But Anti-Ford did not have that problem, he's just like "A Stanford Pines? I know exactly how to trap a Stanford Pines."

He leaves a paper that has "Y = MX - B" written on it, and puts it under a net trap or something.

Jerk Ford walks by it and he's like "Right, like I'm gonna fall for that." And walks away at first.

Before running back to correct the equation, and now he's been caught.

According to The Artist, he had something like this set up;

"Check it out chat, I caught the elusive Jerk Ford! The 'worst Ford' besides me!"

"I WILL F###ING END YOU YOU TECHNICOLOUR NIGHTMARE PIECE OF S###!"

"Hey, ease up on the swearing I have to bleep that out in post."

[A whole censor bar of Bleeep]

"F### YOU ANTI-FORD GO F### YOURSELF!"

"Alright chat, I'mma have to censor this out because he. Wont. Stop. Swearing. And we all know Youtube don't like that. For those of you on Twitch tho [you should follow me there] you can hear Jerk Ford swear uncut!"

"Let's cut to the interview; Ford-PJC311—urgh, that's too long, can I just call you PJ for short instead?"

"IF WE DID NOT HAVE THE SAME PARENTS YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'D DO!"

"Okay, PJ, first question; how have you been evading capture so far?"

"THE SAME WAY YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING TOUCHING GRASS YOU-"

[A bunch of live comments all at once]

"-Oh, no. C'mon, we gotta get out of here."

[Picks Jerk Ford up like a sack of rice]

"What?!"

"I just got a bunch of comments from The Hate Club that they're on their way here."

Like any content creator chasing clout, he bit off more than he can chew. A classic blunder.

Anti-Ford didn't actually want to turn him in. It got way too real for him too fast so he just panicked and took him back to the Anti-Dimension.

And now The Ford Hate Club includes him as a Ford they hate because he actually managed to catch Jerk Ford when none of them could, but didn't turn him in.

And Anti-Ford and Jerk Ford have been friends allies ever since.

[i-am-harmless]

Jerk Ford AU: Tumblr Thirst

Jerk Ford: ...

Jerk Ford: That's the worst you've got? I've heard worse from drunk housewives when I worked at Space Hooters. Stan: *off screen* You what?

Jerk Ford: It was the dodge the draft, Stanley.

Stan: ?!?

[Art by @tearosepedall]

I know most of these comments are not thirsty, it's people just liking Jerk Ford. But I thought this would be funny.

Because of his friendship exposure to Anti-Ford, Jerk Ford is pretty up to date with a lot of modern internet slang and pop culture.

As for: can you ship whatever with Jerk Ford? I mean, I'm not a cop... but you have to remember this man is awful, and any romantic/sexual relationship he gets into is always going to be for nefarious purposes on his end. He is a homewrecker on principle who catfished an actual God because he thought it would be funny.

If anyone wants to like include Jerk Ford into their fanfic, art, AU, whatever, you could just shoot me a message and ask.

People, please, you can do better than this guy. Way better.

[i-am-harmless]

Jerk Ford AU: "Quality" Time

Jerk Ford returns home slightly earlier than in canon, sometime between the episodes "The Love God" and "Northwest Mansion Mystery".

Compared to Canon Ford, despite being rude and unpleasant to everybody, Jerk Ford spends much more time with the family! And also his former lab assistant; Retired Tech Billionaire, Old Man McGucket. This is because he and Stan are not fighting, so Stan doesn't try to keep Ford away from everybody. He encourages it, actually.

Results may vary.

Jerk Ford with Stanley:

*exactly 10 minutes after Jerk Ford dispatches the gov't agents*

"Stanley, I'm so glad to finally be home. You wouldn't believe how much I missed you. I knew I'd come back eventually, but I'm sorry it took so long and you had to save me from my mistakes again. I can't wait for us to move on with the rest of our lives."

"Me too, bro. Now-" *hands him a pamphlet*

"What's this?"

"A catalogue of therapists. Pick one."

"...Wha-."

"If you don't pick a therapist in the next five minutes I am going to drag you by the hair to the nearest shrinks office you emotionally constipated, underfed f**k."

Jerk Ford with his Niblings:

Wendy: I've been having these nightmares about Northwest Manor...

Soos: No sweat, dude. We can go there, and see that whatever you're scared of is just a part of your imagination.

Jerk Ford: You're going to need my help. I'm going with you.

Soos: Hold your horses, dawg. No one asked for more help. This whole trip might just prove the girl-dude shouldn't be sleeping with her nightlight off.

Jerk Ford: Lava lamp.

Wendy: How did you...? What, did you break into my house?

Jerk Ford: *scoffs* Please.

Jerk Ford:

Jerk Ford: I break into everyones house.

Jerk Ford with his Grand-Niblings:

Dipper: I will send you STRAIGHT TO HADES, where you belong!

Jerk Ford: I'll see you there, pipsqueak. Well, I'll try to; I'd need a magifiying glass.

Dipper: Why you-

Mabel: Why can't we ever play a normal game of Go Fish?

Jerk Ford with Retired Tech Billionaire Old Man McGucket:

Fiddleford: It's an entire dimension of sentient robots?

Jerk Ford: Mhmm.

Fiddleford: And they have the ability to take the form of normal Earth vehicles should they choose?

Jerk Ford: Yes.

Fiddleford: And there's been a civil war raging between two factions of them for a thousand years?

Jerk Ford: What about it?

Fiddleford:

Fiddleford: Ford, you're talking about The Transformers.

Jerk Ford: The what?

[i-am-harmless]

Okay, I HAVE to know now: Is there an initiation process for the JFHC, or do you just show up and say you can't stop thinking about him, and the other Fords are like "Welcome to the club, here's your badge, your t-shirt, your gun, and we get catering on Thursdays." XD

The Artist Has Spoken:

"How about both of us pop into existence, and then just give them the certificate, and pop away.

We're like the toothfairy- if someone thinks about Jerk Ford when they fall asleep, they will wake up with the certificate under their pillow."

- @tearosepedall , who is also the figure on the right.

If you apply for a membership, all you have to do to get accepted is have Jerk Ford live in your head rent free say that he wronged you or was rude to you in some way, and they'll automatically believe you even if its ridiculous because he's just Like That.

Like so:

The (Jerk) Ford Hate Club doesn't exactly have the best track record for security or vetting their members considering The Anti-Ford and Jerk Ford regularly disguise themselves as normal Fords and barge in there to mess with them.

I do give out little membership cards to different people for different reasons!

Usually because they picked up something in the lore, made a very astute observation in the comments or asks, or something of the like.

As of now, there are two "VIPs" and two "regulars".

[i-am-harmless]

Felt like drawing my silly Villain Stan again

He's genuinely upset guys

[i-am-harmless]

Jerk Ford AU: Stanley Design

[Art by @tearosepedall]

"Please, you can just call me Stan. Dr.Pines is my brother."

A lot of stuff about Stan is mainly determined by the artist because I don't know anything about the education system, and Stan is a teacher.

Quick facts:

He has a PhD in Chemistry, and a Masters Degree in Education.

Chemistry was the only scientific discipline Stan and Jerk Ford had in common. But Stan's specialty is in Analytical Chemistry, while Jerk Ford's specialty in was Biological Chemistry.

His adopted son Soos is a former student, and currently the drama instructor (Stan sometimes works with the theatre department)

Wendy is also former student and his current Teachers Assistant (TA).

He was Gideons teacher the latest school year.

Anyone who grew up in Gravity Falls in the past three and a half decades has had Stan as their teacher at least once

Design Notes:

He's taller than canon Stan and has proper, straight-backed posture. He doesn't slouch.

His hair is long enough he can pull it into a ponytail or a braid. He leans more towards the latter during the summer woth the twins because of Mabels love for braid-trains.

During the school year, if he's working at the elementary school instead of the middle or high school, he'll wear different hair clips/pins to amuse the students. During the summer with the twins, Mabel makes little hair clips for him that match the design of her sweater for the day so they can match with each other.

His zodiac symbol is on a hidden necklace.

Stan in the image is using a marker board tap method to get students to quiet down or pay attention to the board.

Sea Grunk Era outfit TBD.

[i-am-harmless]

Jerk Ford may not be a massive jerk to his Stan, but he must still push his buttons a little from time to time like healthy siblings do, right? So what does he do to annoy him?

Mabel: Great Uncle Ford?

Jerk Ford: What is it, runt?

Mabel: Grandpa asked me and Dipper once if we could feel what the other one was feeling! Did he ask because you and Grunkle Stan can do that?

Jerk Ford: Ah, yes. Sherman called it a 'Twinstinct'. Before I was in the Nightmare Realm, yes, we could feel each others pain.

Mabel: Really?

Jerk Ford: It did not seem to function while I was outside of this dimension.

Mabel: ...Does it work now that you're back?

Jerk Ford: Hm, I suppose the only way to find out is to approach this with the scientific method. First, I need to gather data.

Jerk Ford: *punches himself in the stomach hard*

*Surprised, angry shout from the kitchen*

Stan: SONUVA-!

Jerk Ford: The data is pointing to a yes.

[i-am-harmless]

Villain Stan!☆

I think he should be allowed to be a villain :3 He's just a lil guy tho

"Doo-doo dooo 🎶 world domination doodly doo 🎶"

[i-am-harmless]

Made a new fic before finishing my drafts (here is the fic @dark-lord-of-awesomeness I hope you like it🙇)

[i-am-harmless]

Was it anti-Ford who almost killed him? A child version? You can’t just drop that lore tidbit and walk away!! 😭

Context: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6]

Why would Anti-Ford almost kill his bestie? He gets him a lot a views on YouTube and Twitch. Interestingly (and frustratingly for the Ford Hate Club), Anti-Ford was the first and allegedly only Ford able to successfully capture Jerk Ford.

He saw a bounty for him and decided to make 'hunting' him the subject of one of his videos. He wasn't actually going to turn him in though, and that's how they're still allies to this day (Anti Ford says they're friends, Jerk Ford says he tolerates him at best).

As for who actually almost killed him... Let's look at what he really shouldn't have said:

“I’m going to tell him.”

[This version of the Better World AU: @mother-ofthe-universe]

More than that, Jerk Ford finds himself regretting ashamed not proud of what he had to say to create enough of an emotional turmoil for an escape.

Jerk Fords Journal 3 Entry: "The Better World"

"-𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝒶𝓁𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓃𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒹𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒿𝑒𝓇𝓀 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂𝓈𝑒𝓁𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝒻 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇 '𝒹𝒾𝓈𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑜𝒾𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓉𝒽𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇' 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 𝒿𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒹𝒾𝓈𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑒𝒶𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓉𝑜𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝒶𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓉𝓊𝓉𝑒 𝒷𝓊𝒾𝓁𝓉 𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝑒𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇 𝑒𝑔𝑜, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓈 𝒶𝓃 𝑒𝒸𝒽𝑜 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓁 𝓈𝓎𝒸𝑜𝓅𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓉𝓈.

𝒜𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑒𝓍𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒹𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻, 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒸𝓁𝓊𝒹𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐵𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒲𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹" 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝒻𝒾𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒.

𝐻𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉𝒽, 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝑔𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝒻𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓈𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓋𝒶𝓈𝓉, 𝓂𝓊𝓁𝓉𝒾𝒻𝒶𝒸𝑒𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓂𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝒶𝓈 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒮𝒶𝒹, 𝐿𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓁𝓎, 𝐿𝑜𝓈𝑒𝓇 𝒟𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃", 𝒾𝓃 𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝒾𝒹𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒻𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒫𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈.

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝑔𝓊𝓎 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓈𝓉."

[If you have difficulty reading that:

"-many alternate versions of myself have visited this dimension and jerk themselves off at the thought that if only their 'disapointing, worthless brother' had taken their first away and disapeared forever, then they too could have had an institute built serving as a temple to their ego, and as an echo chamber of intellectual sycophants.

After experiencing this dimension for myself, I have concluded that "The Better World" is not the most fitting name.

Henceforth, I am going to refer to this small sliver of the vast, multifaceted diamond of reality as "The Sad, Lonely, Loser Dimension", in honour of thr resident Stanford Pines.

That guy is the worst."]

[i-am-harmless]

Greetings! Love your work! I was wondering how do portal!Stans react to Jerk Ford? Cos here’s this guy, who looks like the brother you have an incredibly traumatic history with, and this guy is an absolute jerk but also weirdly not as viciously hurtful as your own Ford could be? Just an equal opportunity jerk. Do the Stans of the multiverse have their own hate club (I doubt that portal!Fords would let a Stan join them) or are they somehow okay with the guy?

While the a large swathe of The (Jerk) Ford Hate Club is made up of Stanford Pines variants, it is not exclusive.

The only requirement to join* The (Jerk) Ford Hate Club is that Jerk Ford lives in your head rent free has wronged, antagonized, or annoyed you in some way, shape, or form.

There are indeed portal Stans in this club, but chances are they don't really hate Jerk Ford and there are just there to keep tabs on whatever sh*t he be wilding on this time, because a lot of portal Stans are also banned from multiple dimensions like Jerk Ford, and also have the tendency to get into mischief both criminal and not.

However not many end up staying long term because the bulk of the club is made up of Fords. And they have this annoying tendency (among others) to use Jerk Ford's negative traits and terrible behaviour to 'theorize' that 'he's really a Stanley'.

*the criteria for getting kicked out of The (Jerk) Ford Hate Club is sympathizing with him, in which case you are not only banned from club premises and activities, but they will (at least attempt to) shoot you dead.

[i-am-harmless]

Jerk Ford AU: Silliness V

If you mean Watchdog Ford by @nowimjustastranger, whom is sometimes called "Guard Dog Ford" Those two aren't friends. They just happen to run into each other a statistically almost impossible amount of times in the multiverse.

Any and all reports that they've saved each other skin at least once, and hang out sometimes are just rumours spread by their mutual ally (ALLY not friend) the Anti-Ford.

If you mean Guard Ford from the AU by @skeptiql... it's their AU, I'm not imposing on it.

If there is a cosmic security guard out there monitoring the Fordverse, considering that all Jerk Ford does in the multiverse is be a total jerk to everyone and cause trouble (and then get banned from dimensions for the two aforementioned reasons), I imagine reactions to him are typically going to be:

He's not heinous, malicious, or evil, he's just a really big jerk for no good reason.

---

Me and @nowimjustastranger are in the process of proper crossover, don't worry.

In the meantime...

Pre-Weirdmageddon:

Jerk Ford: Watch, this is Stanley. Stanley, this is Watchdog Ford and Lee.

Watchdog Ford: ...

Lee: ...

Stan: Well heya pal. It's nice to see Stanford's made more friends! I knew he had it in him to be nice and compassionate.

Jerk Ford: Stanley, I swear to God.

Watchdog Ford:...You're-

Lee: You're tall.

Stan: *looks between Watchdog Ford and Jerk Ford in an exaggerated up-and-down to annoy his brother*

Stan: *to Watchdog Ford* So are you.

Lee: *grinning* Oh, we're going to get along just fine. Let's chat.

---

Watchdog Ford: You... You aren't suffering?

Stan: If you don't call grading two hundred student assignments without assistance suffering, then sure.

Lee: ...nothings wrong?

Stan: Right now, no. I did miss my brother for the thirty years he was gone. It wasn't easy... the townsfolk truly believed I murdered him, and thought that was a good thing. And then acted like I was wrong for missing him.

Lee: So everything went okay for you?

Stan: I don't know what to tell you, pal- excluding not having Ford in my life for thirty years and the issues that comes with that, things are going fine. If I'm having trouble I can just ask someone for help, and if I have problems emotionally I have friends and family that would lend me an ear or two. Also, I am medicated and seeing a therapist for stuff.

Lee: ...

Meanwhile Jerk Ford is in the corner sipping from his #1 Big Brother mug, and Watchdog Ford gets suspiciously misty eyed.

[Dialogue primarily by @tearosepedall]

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It's a misconception at that Jerk Ford does not experience empathy (or at least not any for anyone besides his twin brother). This misconception is one of the reasons why The Ford Hate Club is always tripped up by him - they don't understand him. They think he's unfeeling with little to no emotional intelligence.

He has a surprising amount of empathy, you can see in this post he even says that most other Fords do not hate their Stanley, what they really have is resentment.

Jerk Ford just uses that empathy to know how to get under peoples skin and really hurt their feelings. Can't hurt feelings very well if you don't know what they are or how they work!

What he does lack is compassion, as in he doesn't help, support, or uplift people. That's a Stanley thing.

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Jerk Ford: Your attack misses.

Dipper: Misses?! With my bonuses I had a total of twenty-three to hit!

Jerk Ford: That doesn't even touch the monsters THAC0.

Dipper: THAC0? Great Uncle Ford, 3.5 Edition is over! It's armour class now!

Jerk Ford: I'm the DM, and I rule your attack misses.

Dipper: *flips the battlemap, forgetting that the infinity dice is there*

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Jerk Ford had such a bad habit of getting engrossed into his research and study that he would overlook things like finances (and showering). Stanley managed the finances between himself and and his brother, and he did send money back to the family, not millions but it was something.

Jerk Ford also had most of the money because he had his grant, and also a few patents, but Jerk Ford only cared about anamolies and terrorizing humanity so money wasn't something he thought about very much as long as their basic needs were being met.

When he lived back in Glass Shard Beach with his family, however...

"We should go graffiti Pines Pawns."

"Hell no, dude."

"What, you scared of Old Man Pines?"

"Forget Old Man Pines, don't know know what his son did to Crampelter? We don't need to be on his sh*t list."

[i-am-harmless]

Jerk Ford AU: Twinstinct

[ @rayyanishere1 you know why you're being tagged]

The Stan twins can see right through each other. Easily. As long as they are in the same dimension, there isn't anything one can hide from the other, some strong twinstinct right there.

Particularly, they are pretty in tune to each others present emotional state.

If you were to boil these two down a meme, imagine this;

Jerk Ford is the yellow one, and S1/S2 represents pre-Weirdmageddon and post-Weirdmageddon respectively. Note, Stanley in this AU might be represented by the blue figure here, but he is not miserable, he's pretty happy overall. But he really wanted his twin back.

And yes, they're both tactile. They mostly showed this to the younger Mystery Twins and not necessarily each other, but they had their moments.

Pre-Weirdmageddon:

Stan: *minding his own business alone on the porch, staring out into the woods*

Jerk Ford: *comes out of nowhere and randomly hugs Stan*

Stan: What's with the touchy-feely all of a sudden, somethin' wrong?

Jerk Ford: You're doing great, Stanley.

Stan:

Stan: ...Thanks, bro.

[dialogue by @tearosepedall]

Post-Weirdmageddon (Sea Grunks Era):

Stanford: *minding his own business alone on the deck of the Stan O'War, staring out a thousand yards into the ocean*

Stan: *comes out of nowhere and randomly hugs Stanford*

Stanford: Nothing's wrong.

Stan:...

Stanford: *tearing up* I said nothing's wrong, Stanley!

Stan: You're home now. You're here, and I'm here with you. You're safe.

Stanford: *breaks down sobbing*

[i-am-harmless]

I saw Mafia Boss Stan with the pines twins and was immediately *neuron activated*

Was lurking and saw a Mafia Boss Stan art by @babyblankyerror and since they had a fic I decided to make them a little gift (everyone should go check them out all their fics and arts are really good ❤️😫)

[i-am-harmless]

Was lurking and saw a Mafia Boss Stan art by @babyblankyerror and since they had a fic I decided to make them a little gift (everyone should go check them out all their fics and arts are really good ❤️😫)