#he understands societal pressure and he knows that there's a lot they don't get to have bc they can never grow up

[hostiae]

benji, a fellow child vampire, probably empathized a lot with claudia's story when he read daniel's book. — even if they're very different. i think he wishes that they could have met ( pls let him meet claudia in aus ). he puts on a good face and doesn't really verbalize that being stuck as a 12 year old sucks at times, especially as he ages, but he would have liked to know someone who had to deal with the same struggles.

though i apologize to all madelines, but he would see her as a predator. if someone was willing to overlook that he's a kid, he'd morph into chris hansen on the spot. he would find it very fucked up and feel like claudia needed to be protected. bc he doesn't blame claudia for it, he thinks it would be normal to want someone to overlook it so badly that you forget how fucked up it might be if they do.

bc you can't overlook that they're still in children's bodies. that's their tragedy.

[were--ralph]

I get a lot of people in my inbox thanking me for being horny for fat and/or hairy guys and it genuinely baffles me. like, and I mean this so genuinely from the bottom of my heart, I don't understand what's not to love. I know society is cruel to fat men and hairy men and especially fat hairy men, but like. society shouldn't control what you like and I don't think I've ever been in a situation where I thought "I can't let them know I like that".

I guess there's always a societal pressure to fit in but it's 2024 we should all be beyond that and loving who we love regardless of what other people think or say. like people are all "tee hee love is love! Love wins! Diversity!" but somehow being fat just isn't included in that and it's. so weird.

I recently had a conversation with a straight coworker who wanted me to watch some show about gay couples because it had a lot of "hot guys" in it but it was just. athletic-built men and that's so boring, so when I told her it was not my type and I liked bigger guys, it was like I committed murder in front of the lord himself. it feels so. hypocritical to say "Love is love, love whoever you want" but we pull the reigns when it's a fat guy and not even fat fat, like chubby is too much for some people.

and I think chubby has become more passable, but the definition of chubby now is like a guy whose abs aren't visible 24/7 and that's. like. not it lol. like if he don't jiggle when he giggle i don't think that's chub.

anyway im rambling and i just think fat men and hairy men and fat hairy men are hot and people need to admit it more than just saying things to fit in and be "normal" because it alienates a large portion of people in the world, and not just men, all to fit in with a social norm that couldn't care if you died. love what you love and be loud about it.

[stardewvalleybut-i-draw]

Can u give me ur full thoughts on Alex? I feel like a lot of the shit he gets is unjustified. Yeah he says some sus things to the farmer (no matter what gender you are!) but that's only because he's horribly mislead. The man just doesn't know any better. I mean think about it. Abused and neglected, lacking good male role models, and he's got no friends in town except for maybe Haley and you know how she is. If she was told "you're probably not into sports" she'd say "ew no" because sports would get her all dirty.

I always saw him as just a loner-type guy who doesn't know how to talk to people. Spent too much time trying to develop his cringe ass macho man persona that he forgot to develop social skills. I don't think that makes him a bad person though. I could honestly talk for hours about how toxic masculinity is a monster that preys on young boys and eats them alive if they're not careful. But even with societal pressure being so intense, growth is possible. Alex is still a massive sweetie in my eyes. A big dumb doofus who loves his granny and wants to lift heavy things just to impress you.

I would love your thoughts though!!

#1 Alex fan anon ⚡️

Yeah. That's basically more or less my thoughts😅

It honestly depends on what you experience that can greatly color Alex's character

This might be one of my more controversial takes

(right next to being a Clint apologist💀)

but stick with me here-

If you grow up in a similar environment to most guys, you can understand why Alex is the way they are. It's not exactly easy to be soft or mindful when you have a harsh environment around you. Many guys end up coping with repressed thoughts and feelings in unique ways to soothe themselves. I think Alex's was sports. (Idk just a hunch) but it often leads to a lot of blind spots or misunderstandings of the world.

I've seen a lot of people like Alex and I've had a couple of friends in high school like that too! And I can tell you... yeah... it comes from SOMEWHERE, A lot of them ain't doing so great mentally.

Heck, I do that! Whenever I get uncomfortable with a situation or feelings I don't like, I make jokes to ease my brain. Releses a little serotonin ya know what I mean?

Not all coping mechanisms are bad tho, we kinda have our own form of bond and support that from the outside looks cold and uninviting but I promise you, we would die for our brothers. (plus the cold uninviting part is just a front)

"I know the homie told us to KYS over Roblox but he bought the group Freebirds during the gym session so it's all good!"/j

I can't say much from the other perspective but I would assume they would see Alex as a HUGE BIG RED flag and someone potentially dangerous or someone who brings back bad memories which is why he is dunked on so much. Even if they don't mean it, they have a higher chance of hurting people.

I don't think Alex is THAT type of character at all, I think he has good intentions but as you said "no social skills". I can see why others would interpret that way though.

It's funny that you mention how Alex doesn't have many female role models cuz... you have

Haley- Lazy and super not into dirt.

His mom- got sick and DIED.

Granny Evelyn- frail weak old woman who makes cookies and tends to flowers.

Those are not exactly SUPER GREAT examples of women who like sports.

Personally, I get why people say that playing a male farmer is better for Alex's story arc along with confronting George about the whole being gay thing but I think the female farmer has elements that I don't think are acknowledged much.

From my perspective anyway, I think a Fem farmer shows Alex a better example of women and what they can do VS grandma, dead mom, and Haley... along with learning boundaries and how better cope with repressed feelings and MAYBE-

-even address the fear of the farmer DYING of a sickness just like his mom or the intrusive thoughts of believing he'll end up like his father making him overprotective and paranoid about the farmers well being...

but you can ignore that...

Idk man, that's just the way I view it. You either like Alex or you don't :/

I ain't saying anyone's wrong to feel the way they do

[xchronicles]

Okay… real talk now, just between us girlies.

Aaron, if you’re reading this, you’re one of us and you’re always welcome in.

We joke, argue, and moan a lot about the J/C stuff - especially now with Prodigy being the latest new canon story. We all know, at the end of the day, they’re not real. However, what they represent and the impact they have on the audience is very real.

I watched Voyager back in the day when I was in primary school. My emotionally undeveloped self quickly picked up on the J/C stuff, and soon I found myself watching the show more and more, hoping that today’s episode would be about them or at least feature a lot of scenes with them together. I vividly remember the heartbreak after watching "Endgame" and being so confused on what I had just witnessed. I remember expecting the next episode, which never came, and feeling so confused. I felt betrayed by the show and didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. I was just a kid - exactly the target audience that Prodigy aims to reach.

Now, as an adult, that kid in me still feels that betrayal. I’ve always leaned on imaginary characters as a coping mechanism. As a girl who never quite fit into traditional gender roles and was often criticized for not being "girly" enough or not aligning with societal expectations, I found solace in the reversed gender norms between Janeway and Chakotay. At the time, I didn’t realize that this was what appealed to me so much.

What I’m trying to say is that making Janeway and Chakotay canon, no questions hanging, healthy relationship and all, is an incredible narrative tool to show that women can be in the position of power, having a career while also being in a loving, supportive relationship. It would teach younger audiences, especially girls, that they don’t have to choose between career and relationship and, more importantly, that they don’t have to strip down parts of who they really are to fit into a gender role box to be accepted as a proper woman.

I get frustrated watching interviews with Kate because whenever she asks why fans want the J/C relationship to become romantic, she never gets a good answer. I understand her pushback to some extent because I don’t think a man could ever give her an answer that truly resonated with her. Men don’t think about the constant criticism that women face about not being "womanly" enough. Kate gets told that fans want the relationship because she deserves it and that is the problem. It’s not about what she deserves - it's about the women who have been constantly told from a young age what is “appropriate” for them and that if they don't change they'll end up alone cause no man will want them. They’re the ones who truly deserve to see that they can have both, represented in a strong character like Janeway, whom they’ve admired be it for a year or over 20 years

Men do face their own set of pressures though, like being told they aren’t “man enough,” which can contribute to toxic masculinity. However, Prodigy has addressed this issue beautifully through Chakotay. He’s a wonderful example of strong, non-toxic masculinity, embodying the true essence of what it means to be a man. Season 2 did a fantastic job showcasing this with both Dal and Chakotay. I just wish we could see that same level of depth and growth for Janeway, particularly for young girls who look up to her. Right now, the message feels as if you have to choose between pursuing a career or pursuing a relationship.

Truth be told, I think a big part of the issue is that Kate views Janeway as Prodigy’s lead character, which might make her feel that maintaining the “will they or won’t they” tension is necessary to keep the audience engaged. That perspective might be true if the show were solely focused on Janeway like Voyager was, but Prodigy is so much more than that. The core of Prodigy is really about the young crew and their journey. In fact, younger viewers are likely more interested in the relationship between Gwyn and Dal. I truly believe that making J/C canon wouldn’t hurt the show - instead, it could provide a positive example for the young crew and their audience to look up to. Find solace in them just as I have when I was their age, minus the horrible heartbreak thanks to Endgame lol

[mountainscouts]

I think Gary shouldn't be just a perfect overachiever gentleman that soothes Stan's depression. I don't dislike it but I also want to see Gary not have everything in his life in order, allow him to get angry, question Mormonism (racism, homophobia), pressure him with familial expectations (don't set bad example for his siblings, must marry a woman, etc), let him cut loose and party. Conversely, Stan isn't 24/7 doom+gloom. He can be stable, proactive and self-reflecting even before dating Gary.

WHEW. OKAY THIS ASK HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY ASK BOX FOR A WHILE NOW BECAUSE ITS JUST SO. SO PERFECT. where do i even begin?

okay, i have such a specific view of gary that is essentially this, seriously. when it comes to stary, people tend to gloss over gary as a character and while i can't really blame them for doing that, considering that gary is just a guy who has in total less than 3 minutes of speaking roles in his only episode, it's something i've noticed. while i wish that more people would explore him as a character with as much depth as stan, i've kinda just accepted that it won't ever be the case. BUT because of that, i've sort of hyper focused on these types of details about gary and built on his character more in that regard, going that exact direction you went in your ask.

gary, to me, is a well-polished & put together mess when he gets older. the church is such a fascinating and important facet of his life, and the fact that his character is so inherently & quintessentially mormon is a very accurate portrayal of a lot of mormons from SLC. with that, any type of interpretation of him that deviates from typical norms and values in the church is actually asking for a lot of character dissection. i understand that a lot of people would rather not, but i WOULD. and HAVE BEEN...

gary to me is gay, and i can't really see him otherwise. he finds this out– or at least has a feeling that he might be at a younger age, so already his sexuality giving him leeway in questioning the church and its beliefs. this starts leading him to be more self-aware of his societal and familial role, juggling his own beliefs, the church's, and by extension his family's. with this baggage, i guess, i'm sure it'll extend beyond that to his sense of self. what does he want to be? what does he want to make of himself? how can he feel so trapped, but by the loving arms of his family? so much to build and unpack here!!

speaking of his family, i truly believe they're ignorant folk, conservative, and traditional (inadvertently confirmed by how many children they have and how they all interact with eachother- even if that's just a joke, it proves my point that the harrisons are a decent portrayal of mormon families yet again). gary, being the middle child and if one wanted to write him as "the special one", makes for these dilemmas even more interesting honestly. from setting a good precedent for his siblings, following the path of his older ones, cramming extra-curricular activities as a means to both please his parents and even distract himself from his issues, to having to attend church meetings— it all piles up, all while his own contractions are fed more and more at the incessant exposure of daily life.

the reason why he's considered a polished mess is because he's your typical "looks like he has everything under control, actually under insane amounts of stress" character. i firmly believe that the harrisons have no ill-will, but i think the way that they raised their children falls strongly on the line of emotional neglect. their children were never taught any life lessons that'd help actually help them like- you know, regulating emotions. i've mentioned this in a previous post (and also elaborated on gary showing anger specifically) but i personally believe that while gary is a kind, and generous person to his core, there is an incredible amount of repression deep within him— a product of being raised with many, "boys dont cry"s, "love thy neighbor"s, and "forgive and forget"s. kindness specifically is actually an incredibly important aspect to mormonism, as it's a key part of the lifelong and ever present journey to celestial afterlife. but that's the thing: objectively speaking– this is just a way of control.

so when one wants to break free from this way of thinking, to lose this control, to break away from all they've known— their very livelihood— it's not going to come in the form of an overnight epiphany. in gary's case, considering how tight he is with his family versus his budding progressive views and drive to have more free reign over his self, it's going to be one hell of a struggle.

to touch on your point of him not getting everything he wants, i think that's another fundamental reason why he would question his standing in the church as well— depending on What he doesn't get. perhaps he doesn't want to serve his mission, but does so anyways. or maybe he simply had a bad day, but he can't allow himself to get upset, convincing himself that "things could be worse" as a way to make himself feel better, barring himself from healthily expressing his feelings. repeatedly saying "its okay" is going to be his downfall lol

and, i too would love to see him cut loose and party eventually- without a second thought that he'd be disappointing anyone.

okay now for stan. oh yeah that guy— no i'm just kidding, i'm also actually very picky about stan as well. :P most of your points about him align perfectly with mine. i don't like it when people woobify him to a point where his only/a major part of his character is his pessimism and depression, and while they are a part of him, it seems to be a big theme when people talk about stary. i definitely love the whole "i can fix him" thing gary has with him (because of gary's primordial urge to "fix" things and be persistent until he can't anymore) but that's definitely not all that they are!! (also gary's initial thought of "fixing" stan would already be faulty from the get-go anyways- but he will learn)

with stan, i think people tend to make him already pretty "helpless" in general fandom, and while he has shown to be more vulnerable than his peers, hes still pretty resilient. i do think that he would need a little bit of a push when it comes to his mental health, but that's only because he's found a way to cope with these issues- none of which are truly healthy. he's moreso content with being in a stalemate with himself and while he does wish he could do more, it takes a lot out of him to get out his more personal comfort zones.

kinda gives him another reason as to why him and gary are narrative foils, i just realized :P!!

but yeah!! i really loved this ask, and i probably really should indulge more in this aspect of gary >_<. its something i truly think about, and those who are close to me DEFINITELY know this! thank you for the ask and sorry it took so dang long haha. also thank you to those who read this behemoth, genuinely didnt expect to yap this much

[doumadono]

Hey hey so I hope it's okay if I send in an Emergency Request.

Recently I've been on a new antipsychotic and it's causing weight gain, so they put me on a diet medication and I'm STILL gaining weight.

As someone with a past of having anorex!a this is MAJORLY triggering as now I'm in the "Overwe!ght" BMI range and I'm freaking the fuck out and wanting to d!e every single day.

So can I get a comfort with Shinsou who reaffirms the reader( who also struggles with gender dysphoria at the same time, so this is doubly hard ) that he will love them no matter what gender they are and how much they weigh and that they can work on losing weight in a healthy way and he will help them recovery from their ED habits together?

Shinso & s/o with gender dysphoria and anxiety about gaining weight

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Shinsou notices your struggle and decides to have a heart-to-heart conversation with you. "You've been going through a lot lately, haven't you? Wanna talk?"

You open up about your experiences with gender dysphoria, the weight of the words lifting as you share this intimate part of yourself. "I've been grappling with my gender identity, and it's been a real struggle. I trust you, Shinso..."

The words pour out as you recount the toxic environment at home, the pressure to conform to harmful beauty standards, and the history of your family promoting your eating disorder. "My family, they've always pushed me toward this destructive path. It's been a battle to break free from their influence."

He starts by expressing genuine concern, acknowledging the difficulties you're facing with both medication and family issues.

There's a moment of vulnerability as you worry about how Shinsou will react. "I'm afraid you'll see me differently, that this will be too much for you..."

Shinsou reassures you that he cares deeply for you, emphasizing that your worth isn't determined by your weight or gender. "I want you to know that I adore every part of you, regardless of what your family or society says. Your gender identity is valid, and your journey is uniquely yours, remember that, sweetpie."

Shinsou encourages you to focus on your health rather than conforming to societal standards, stressing that your well-being matters most.

He suggests finding positive outlets for stress relief and encourages you to explore activities that bring joy and fulfillment. "How about we make some tasty, nutritious snacks together? It's a small step, but a positive one, don't you think?"

Shinsou reminds you that your identity and body are yours to define, and he supports you in every decision you make.

He shares stories of his own struggles, highlighting that everyone faces challenges, and growth is possible through perseverance.

Shinsou proposes working together on setting achievable, healthy goals, whether related to weight or personal development.

He assures you that he's there for you every step of the way, offering support and understanding. "You're strong, you know? Facing everything head-on."

He uses his quirk to gently ease some of the emotional burden you're carrying, showing how he cares about your mental well-being.

Shinsou encourages open communication, emphasizing that your feelings and experiences are valid, and he's here to listen without judgment. "It's always better to talk to your trusted person, isn't it, sweetpie?"

The air hung heavy with a subdued tension as you found solace in the quiet corner of your shared living space with Shinso. The weight of unspoken burdens rested on your shoulders, and as the tears welled up in your eyes, you couldn't hold back the overwhelming tide of emotion any longer.

Shinso noticed the tremble in your voice and the shimmer of unshed tears. He approached you with a gentle concern etched across his face. "Hey, what's going on? You seem… distant."

A shaky breath escaped your lips as you attempted to articulate the complex emotions swirling within. "It's just… my family. They've never understood, and now with everything else… It feels like I'm drowning in their expectations. I'm also struggling with my gender... I feel like I'm drowning, Shinso..."

Shinso sat beside you, a silent gesture that spoke volumes. "You can talk to me. I'm here for you. Breathe. In and out, in and out. Calm down and pour it all out. It'll ease your stress. And no matter what, I'll stay by your side, always. You're perfect just the way you are. I love everything about you."

With a heavy exhale, you began to unravel the painful narrative of a family that had never truly been supportive. "They always had these expectations, these ideals of what they thought I should be. It's suffocating. They pushed me into this dark spiral of self-doubt, made me believe I was never enough. And thank you for your kind words, baby..."

The tears flowed freely now, a cathartic release of pent-up emotions.

Shinso, understanding the weight of your words, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "You are more than enough, and I'm here to help you break free from those chains. You don't have to carry their expectations anymore."

In the warmth of Shinso's reassurance, you continued to share the heart-wrenching details of a family that promoted destructive behaviors, exacerbating your struggles. "They encouraged my unhealthy habits, made me believe that I had to conform to their standards. It's been a never-ending battle."

Shinso's gaze never wavered, a silent pillar of support. "You're not alone anymore. We'll face this together, and I promise you, their expectations won't define your worth."

As you poured out your heart to Shinso, the weight on your shoulders began to lift, replaced by the gentle embrace of understanding and empathy coming from your beloved boyfriend.

[death---dealer]

from concerned anon,

please be cautious moving forward, with trying to have a baby. Children can change the dynamic of the relationship drastically for the worse due to the parents being unprepared and in a lot of cases, unfit . and a lot of husbands change after children come into the picture .

make sure your husband doesn't become or already is a child you constantly have to clean up behind, and you, as the woman should not be solely responsible for the majority of the domestic labor of the home ...

there's too many stories of men cheating on their spouse while she is pregnant, and using children to trap women to keep them away from their careers and hobbies / to slow them down

babies are extremely expensive and are an insane amount of work . not even including the several health risks for you, the mother.

i just really hope your husband is an actual good man and is actually worthy of a wife and children (99% of men are not due to societal conditioning)

i watch ceciliaregina275 , sheisapaigeturner and other related stuff on tiktok for tons of extremely valuable , educational and basically life saving content for women when it comes to men, dating, children, etc .

just want to make sure you are in a safe, secure, and healthy relationship ... and are making the best decisions for you

Hiii. Thank you kindly for the concern and I really appreciate you reaching out to me regarding. I really don't share much about my life regarding my husband and such because no one knows the inner-workings of our relationship.

I trust my husband - he trusts me. I think that is a very good basis and we've been on and off talking about having a child for the last year. I am Diabetic, and it was a heavy thing on my agenda to get myself in the best shape possible for a baby, and my husband was incredibly supportive of that, considering pregnancy for me will be considered very high risk. I am supporting my husband as he goes through some things for his OCD - both of us recognizing that they are pressure points that could and most likely will flare up upon the arrival of a baby. We have learned great coping and to learn how to depend upon each other in circumstances of need.

This has been a discussion we've had for three years. We have followed the plan we set for ourselves since then. We moved into an apartment together, we got engaged, we had a wedding, we got a house ( this year baby ) and I actually wasn't the one to bring it up first - My husband did, and he told me he felt it was time, that we are both ready and we are both equipped with proper tools.

Like said, thank you so much for taking time to send me this, I really do understand where you are coming from, but like said, no one here knows the inner-workings of our relationship, etc. Be assured that I myself have done a lot to ensure I am ready ( I am also the youngest of 7 and have seen all of my siblings go through it. In fact, my brother is going through it right now with his incredibly narcissistic and emotionally abusive wife and I am taking notes ). I was also in a very abusive relationship before I met my husband, and ended up having to do some things I wish I never had to do and never thought I'd have the chance again. So, thank you again. The concern is heart warming, and I am posting this message in case someone else needs it.

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode four thoughts

hey remember last post where i said last episode gave me everything I wanted. HOW ARE WE FEELING NOW BOYS. WE GOT THE BREAKDOWN!!! THAT MAN HAD AN EMOTIONAL OUTBURST AND COLLAPSED WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!!

okay so i was wrong and charles' dad did not kill him. that's fine tbh I like this a lot, that he was essentially accidentally killed by his friends bc he stood up to them when they were bullying someone (? i think that's what the scene was implying. idk i was really excited about seeing him have a mental breakdown i might have missed something 😭). not to say that what they were doing was an accident, i just don't think they were trying to kill him i think they took the bullying too far and then maybe panicked when he died and covered it up, and that's why his death is unsolved? anyway very interesting! they truly do not miss with charles everything we've gotten from him is so great it makes me even more excited for edwin backstory haha

GOD CHARLES' BREAKDOWN.... that is everything i've ever wanted from a character repressing their emotions do u understand that. he got slammed into some of his worst memories, the most painful and traumatic moments of his life, and then with all those emotions back on the surface he went apeshit!!! i Love him getting aggressive to protect his friends (because that's really what he does, isn't it. he's the brains, i'm the brawn. god.) and then breaking down crying because he can't keep pretending like things are fine anymore, there's too much all at once for him to shrug it off. PHENOMENAL stellar acting stellar writing i love all of this i am eating it like soup!!!

and just. the things he was saying, about how he has to keep being positive he has to keep it together because if he doesn't who will? who else have they got to keep spirits up and stop the group from self-destructing? god it's. so good. i am not going to elaborate on some of that striking a nerve but. god. they gave me everything i wanted to see i love it so much!!! that is everything i hoped for from this story beat you understand!!!!

i wonder if maybe jenny is going to get an episode? or like a b-plot focused on her, something like that. the love letters seem like a plot thread that's going to be pulled on later, it just doesn't seem like this show to establish a mystery and then have it only be a background detail. we'll see tho ^^ i love jenny, i'd love to see more of her she's so fun. reminds me of a friend of mine tbh so i am biased, but also i deeply appreciate a woman with knives on a societal and also personal level 👍

okay can i just say. the night nurse (thank u noble for telling me her name <3) is kind of an asshole right. like i don't think she's evil she's doing a very necessary job, but it's actually delightful how ruthless she is about it. oh these two souls are refusing to move on? throw them into their worst traumas and the most painful moments of their lives to convince them there's nothing worth staying on earth for. sure, it's cruel, but who cares? it's efficient, and that's what matters. these are just children acting out to her, who don't understand the importance of what she does to keep everything in order. i love ruthless characters, and she's done so well she's so fun to watch

also. i do not think this is the last we've seen of her. like yeah she got fed to a sea monster but also she's literally from the afterlife and can travel back to earth wherever as long as she gets the permits. so. i think they bought some time, but that won't last long and they're still stuck in the town so i think she's far from done with them, and we'll see her again probably sooner rather than later (especially since she knows where they're staying)

crystal. my girl. beloved. PLEASE stop almost dying every episode it's bad for my blood pressure. you don't understand you're a living person which means they can kill you while still having you as a character on the show by making you become a ghost. you and niko don't have that safety net Please be more careful 😭

we got some really interesting lilith lore this episode, and it's got me thinking. a goddess of blood and wronged women... what about esther? she's been kidnapping and killing little girls, is that not wronging them? has it just not caught up to her yet because she's been making sacrifices, and if so what happens now that the squad has stopped her from kidnapping more kids? is she on some kind of time limit? this is So interesting I am deeply intrigued by the possibilities here...

the cat king was... there. okay i will admit the scene where he shapeshifted into monty and then charles was interesting. the implications are Fascinating, especially the order- he shifts into monty first and only briefly, but it doesn't seem to affect edwin until he shifts into charles. and then, edwin seems almost entranced until the yellow eyes show through which is. there are certainly implications! idk if it means anything besides instinctively trusting charles more bc they've known each other longer or something like that- especially considering this is netflix we're talking about, but then again the show got cancelled so maybe things did get gay! they've also set up edwin possibly having a crush on monty, or at least being unsure how he feels about him so. no idea but i am Keeping An Eye On That 👀

also. him saying he's never really been interested in/seen the appeal of kissing but now isn't sure whether it's something he wants... clutching grayro/demiro edwin to my chest. this is mine now he's one of us 👍

speaking of edwin, his moment there with niko at the end was really sweet. they're watching scooby doo together 😭 it's the perfect blend of their interests bc it's a detective cartoon.... their friendship is so cute holy shit. the simplicity and genuineness of their dynamic is so sweet, how edwin praises niko's detective work (telling her she's good at something very important to him!) and niko offers a listening ear without judgement as he works through what looks like it's shaping up to be a sexuality crisis. they mean so much to me... they're friends your honor!!!!

oh also charles and crystal kissed. idk man i don't have many thoughts on that. good for them 👍 I think the framing was sweet, in that the show sets up the kiss as the 'something real' crystal wants, but i will admit that part of me is disappointed because i wanted crystal and niko to get together. idk i thought they balanced each other out well, with crystal being subtle where niko is blunt and niko having hope where crystal is cynical, but. that's fine. i wasn't super invested. it's fine. no lesbians for me i guess... sad! oh well

all silliness aside, this episode was yet another Banger they simply do not miss!! the lighthouse ghost was such a fun character, and i love niko's kindness shining through again as she offers edwin red sea glass for courage and the walrus man green sea glass for emotional stability after telling him how she found the washerwoman. niko sasaki the woman that you are.... anyway i'm starting the next episode and then afterwards we'll see how i feel i might need to break for dinner lol

[souryogurt64]

Would you recommend dating apps for actual serious dating? I feel like I wanna try bumble but i fear everyone there just want hookups..... idk hows been your experience so far?

Dating app manifesto under the cut because I think I've probably been on at least 20 dates since moving to chicago

Which app

Bumble is the worst in my opinion and I feel like a lot of guys I matched with never responded. I havent gone on a Tinder date in years because I feel its getting geared more towards hookups because other apps are getting more popular.

Hinge definitely has its downsides but it's pretty much the only one I use. I also bought Hinge Premium when I was drunk (???? stupid decision) and I also got a random survey from Hinge recently and I complained very passionately and IDK if it was coincidental but I do think I started getting likes from more attractive guys and also have been on a lot more dates since paying.

Older = more serious

I would say there are a lot of guys looking for hookups but most of the guys who are 28-30ish (as high as I will go) have realized they don't have a lot of time and are looking for a very serious relationship right now immediately to the point where it is a little overwhelming. Or at least they are claiming to, idk, but none of them have made it past like date 4.

I would not recommend doing this if you were in undergrad or lower, but I think dating 3-5 years older gives you guys that are more mature and better dating material for a lot of reasons.

Kind of sucks but it's objectively true, guys tend to want to date girls that are slightly younger so this increases your quality of matches and the desirability of potential dates. This is also unfortunate but true in that a lot of guys who are desirable tend to just not have a problem getting women and there's no societal pressure for them not to be players so there's just like no point in dealing with them until they've gotten bored of this.

Which dates to avoid

I also wouldn't accept zero effort dates either. Like I think dinner is a lot for a first date and coffee or a dive bar is perfectly fine. But if a guy is asking you to go on a walk when it's 30 degrees outside, he most likely is either unemployed, has some serious issues around his perception of women and gender roles, or doesn't really want you that badly.

Personally, I almost always pay for myself on first dates (or split the bill some other way) because I don't think the guy should pay for everything. I let the guy pay a few times when I was younger because he insisted, and they can often get mad if you don't go home with him so it's a safety thing. But no zero effort dates still applies.

Similarly, if he is asking you to come to his place he is probably just looking to hook up, which was something I think I didn't really understand when I was 20 and just starting to date and I think that led to me getting my heart broken a lot.

Which connections to pursue

If a guy sends you a like and not a message with it, 90% of the time he is just looking for validation and not planning on responding to you if you message first. I would just ignore likes with no comments and not message first.

If a guy sends you a rose with no comment this doesn't apply and he is probably legit serious about seeing you. I think guys see women sending roses as desperate so I don't think it helps women. Superlikes on Tinder are usually accidents but on Hinge they aren't.

Reevaluate your criteria

Dating apps as a girl can be extremely overwhelming with likes and messages, the majority of which are likely low quality, so it can force you to make snap judgements or semi-stupid rules in an effort to pare down your options. Like if I don't regularly purge on Hinge it will get to like 300+ in a few weeks and it becomes just insane.

I feel like I am blowing this guy I'm seeing out of proportion because we’ve only been on 3 dates in like two weeks so who knows he could be gone tomorrow or turn out to be insane or horrible in 3 months. But this is the first time I’ve kissed someone in like two years.

But I think with him, I think I made exceptions to things that normally would have been immediate nos because he sent me a rose instead of a like and most of my friends are getting into relationships so I felt like I wanted to take a chance on a guy that was more serious.

And I definitely thought hard about going out with him. But the reason I would have said no to these things was because they were indicators of political ideologies (former military and from the south) that somehow miraculously didn't apply in this case. I'm a bit concerned these things will become an issue in the future but I also think they came with a lot of unexpected pros as well. Such as if a guy has airlifted people to hospitals he is probably a lot more calm, level headed, and responsible than 99% of the male population, and he's also very athletic.

And also I think he thinks you should be nicer to girls because they're girls, and while I don't really believe in that it is pleasant. Similarly he lives a few miles away and in my experience, guys often start acting bizarre and resentful and like you owe them sex if they drove fifteen minutes to see you and paid two dollars for parking so I usually wouldn't go out with a guy that lived that far away. But these two things cancel each other out so it's fine.

Also, his first photo wasn't good and he was on the edge of being at my height cutoff (only because guys on dating apps usually drastically inflate how tall they are) but I took a chance anyway and he happened to be more attractive and was telling the truth about his height lol. He was also pretty persistent about responding whereas if I forget to respond to guys on dating apps for like a day they usually won't message back after that.

So I guess prioritizing intention and persistence over other stuff. My only friend that has a boyfriend off an app said that she ended up dating him because he just kept showing up and was really serious about dating her so there's also that.

Physical connection

I got this advice from someone else on here (the artist formerly known as Billiemania) but ignore guys who say anything remotely sexual.

I have a very subtle hint on my profile about something I'm into that can pass as not intentional and I think I was mistakenly pursuing guys who would open with a comment about it because I wanted to find someone that was mutual with. The only guy I ever found this opened with hey and had nothing in his bio but I think he clocked this on me and knew what he was doing.

Anyway, guys who opened with something sexual would never make a move on me period even if we had been on like 5 dates and I also didn't feel any chemistry with any of them.... period. This also goes for guys who have something sexual in their bio but don't want you to come to their place. They're just being freaks.

On the flipside, I feel like a lot of guys I have dated I have been on 3-5 dates with and they haven't even tried to kiss me and at that point it gets weird, IMO.

At this point I honestly feel like I would not continue to see a guy if he didn't try to kiss me after the 2nd or 3rd date because I just don't want to personally be in a relationship like that. This guy kissed me on the first date and keeps trying to kiss me in public and this might be wackadoodle and based on nothing but I honestly feel like a lot of guys on dating apps who aren't that serious about dating you instinctively don't want to kiss you in public because they are afraid of seeming unavailable to other women. But who knows.

Work on yourself first

Finally, I think I've recently had a lot better luck dating in the last 6ish months. I can't remember every single guy I've gone out with, but of the last 6 since March (as far back as I can remember lol), I have been the one to break it off with all of them and that wasn't the case at all when I was in my early twenties. I think I've had a lot better luck because I learned the advice I just gave you in this post, but also because I focused a lot on bettering myself.

Like I lost a lot of weight in college, got a real job after college, started working out frequently, did Accutane, started whitening my teeth, and started developing my sense of style and investing in better clothing and makeup, as well as heat styling my hair before dates. I also got a hobby I am successful at that has intrigue, fame, and fortune (/j YouTube).

This also gave me the confidence to not settle. Like I would go on dates with guys who lived with their parents and wanted to keep seeing me but weren't sure if they wanted a relationship and it was easier to say no because I know I'm out of their league, whereas when I was younger and more insecure and knew I was less desirable as a partner I would put up with more bullshit.

[lollytea]

Not a day goes by that I don't think about how the Boiling Isles' complete lack of LGBTphobia effects how witches perceive sexuality and gender. Like it's not the only factor but I feel like the fear of societal judgement and internalized prejudice is a huge obstacle in discovering your own orientation.

So with that whole part avoided, I'm imagining that in the process in the Demon Realm is??? Much smoother sailing??? Like you might be a little confused at first but there's no shame tied to that confusion. Nobody is pressured into deciding on a label for themselves because labels don't exist. Thinking you're into boys for a while until realizing you're a lesbian is nbd here. Neither is thinking you're a lesbian and then realzing you're bi. Nobody judges you. Nobody cares. I just think it may provide you with a lot of clarity that you simply couldn't get in the Human Realm.

I've always headcanoned that while straight is considered the "default" in the Human Realm, most witches just assume they're bi/pan until they discover otherwise. (And not in a "bi-normativity" way, which is, wow, a terrible word I just made up there. But more in a "idk what gender I'm into yet. Or any at all. So I'll just say everybody for the moment" way.)

But I feel like, even if there's confusion, a good percentage of witches actually somehow figure themselves out relatively early. Like they'll be little kindergarten girls in Amity's library group who have not experienced romantic attraction yet but they already know that if they're ever gonna get married, it's gonna be another girl, cause nobody ever told them they couldn't. Some figure it out as preteens. Some are teens. It's probably one of the chillest aspects of maturing for them.

It's why I'm so interested in Hunter's little bi patch on his jacket and I love thinking about how he brought himself to this conclusion. Just thinking about a sheltered brainwashed kid like Hunter who feels deeply ashamed over so much about himself but his opinion in regards to sexuality has always being like "yeah boy, girl, neither, whatever, I don't care, I'm too busy hitting bad guys with my stick."

So when Luz finally explains to him and the other kids what sexualities even are, with the names and flags and everything, he just says "Bi" then and there, completely unfazed. This is bonkers to me. I think it's the best headcanon ever. He really does not care. Nobody ever told him that he should. But that being said, he sure does love having a little pride flag. Imagine living your whole life loving scrambled eggs. It's just another mundane part of you. But then suddenly you're transported to a world where you're celebrated for loving scrambled eggs. You've got your own little "I <3 scrambled eggs" badge of honor. You don't understand it. But it makes you feel very special and important. I imagine that's how Hunter feels with his little bi pride patch on his sweater.

[earlgreytea68]

A Note on Olivia's Speech -- Kinda

OMG this is so much babbling but I wrote it all down in case it might be interesting to anyone else who feels vast amounts of guilt over writing about guys all the time??????

When I was a younger writer, I used to write a lot of het. That's what I wrote all through my teenage years and into my early twenties, just tons of traditional male/female romance novels, which honestly was mostly what I read through those years, too (aside from the classics that I was forced to read for my degree in English, which was exactly why I majored in English lol). Even when I started writing fanfiction, which wasn't until my mid-twenties, I wrote het.

But then at one point I started writing m/m love stories, and I never stopped. And I worry a lot about that, like, is this betraying internalized misogyny on my part? Why am I writing about men (and often white men), who get so many of the stories anyway? I should write more about my actual gender identity, which is cisgender woman. But every time I did, it felt so weird and stilted to me. And my motto is that unless I'm writing for money I write makes me happy, so I kept writing m/m fic.

Once, years ago, I went to a presentation at an academic conference where they discussed the phenomenon of cisgender women writing m/m fic. I know this often gets characterized as just some kind of sexual kink, and I just don't think that's what's going on with me, and that presentation noted that cisgender men are the default, so to speak, in our society. And so characters with a cisgender male gender identity are allowed to be blank slates that can be absolutely anything you want. Whereas as soon as you make a character a cisgender female, suddenly there are all these societal pressures on that character. And that did resonate with me, that try as I might I couldn't just change the pronouns of the cisgender men I was writing and ta-da! They were cisgender women! Because there's just so much other baggage that comes with being a cisgender woman that they were freed from if they were cisgender men -- even if I resented that that was the case!

But I've been doing a lot of reading this past year, and not of romance novels, of quote-unquote "serious" novels (an adjective I strenuously do not agree with, as a writer of romance lol). I read Elif Batuman's books (both hilarious but both kind of fell apart about halfway through), I read Checkout 19 (which I pretty much hated), I read Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow (weird book), I read The Farewell Tour (which surprised me and I liked much more than I'd thought I would). Every one of these books had a cisgender female protagonist (or co-protagonist), and every one of these books had a major plot point where that protagonist has a terrible, unhealthy relationship with an obnoxious cisgender guy. Every. Single. Book. And sometimes it was more than one unhealthy relationship, and sometimes it was more than one female character within the book. Like, you're going along reading about these delightful and interesting adventures these fabulous women are having, then -- bam! they run up against some guy not nearly as interesting as they are and not deserving of their time and then they waste a bunch of their life (and the book) all hung up on him. And I was just like: It's the year 2023, and this is STILL what the female narrative looks like? This???? We can't tell other stories about women that don't revolve around what men do to them???

It's not that these books aren't critiquing that part of society (which I understand is still omnipresent all around us). All of the books are very conscious that the relationships are unhealthy and diminishing the woman (except maaaaybe the relationship in T&T&T, but that book also is really mean to its arguably asexual MC and basically implies that he'll never be of importance in his BFF's life because he doesn't want to have sex with her, so the book had other issues, tbh). Not a single one of those books actually, you know, has any apparent repercussions for the guy in question, who just seems to go on and live their life pretty carefree and the woman whose life they stomped all over is barely a second thought, to us the outside observer. And I'm sure that's also very true to how society works. But, all the same, it was striking to me that, even if critical, THIS WAS STILL EVERY WOMAN'S NARRATIVE. EVERY WOMAN'S NARRATIVE WAS ABOUT SELLING HERSELF SHORT FOR SOME GUY. Can we not imagine better for ourselves????

And so, Idk, I do try to put people of other genders in my m/m fics but when it comes to a character like Olivia, and thinking of what her happy ending looked like, I just could not make myself put her with a guy. And you might say: she could have gone with a woman! And yes! She could have! But I think I am craving female narratives that aren't about romantic and sexual love. Because every narrative I read about a woman is alllll about romantic and sexual love. The woman belittles herself to squeeze herself into the box of romantic and sexual love, cutting off all of the interesting parts of herself because she's been told THAT is the end-all-be-all. But I am a believer in all kinds of love, and how all of those kinds of love can give you a good and well-rounded life, and it's silly to pretend that there's only one type of love and that we should pursue it at all costs to our selves.

And then I think, well, gee, that's hypocritical of me, given that ALL I DO IS WRITE STORIES ABOUT ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL LOVE. But then it occurred to me that in writing them about two cisgender men, it does feel more like a narrative that needs to be told. Men get so many stories...but they don't often get THESE stories. They don't often get the love story. They don't often pursue their romantic love as if it will fulfill their destiny...because society tells men that their destiny has other shapes and sizes beyond who they sleep with. Maybe, I think, the world needs more narratives about guys who just love, unabashedly and deeply and fulfillingly, and THAT'S the narrative. That's the whole story. Just that. The way it so often is for women.

When I think about Olivia, and even as I sit and struggle my way with Megan in the Regency AU sequel, it's like...I want more for them than that. Like, for so long I grew up with exactly the expectation that Olivia talks about, that I needed to find a husband and that was the most important thing about me. And I watch the younger women I know still get that message. I've got a great career, went to good schools, do interesting stuff, and still a shocking number of people want to know why I'm single. What about everything else I can be????? I have great friends and a great family and I honestly like my life. Who can ask for more than that? Like, isn't the most amazing thing that could happen to Megan, especially in the Regency era, is just that she lives the life she wants??? And maybe that means she gets married and maybe it doesn't but it's cool either way and she has the freedom to choose it!

I don't mean to imply that I don't have internalized misogyny, because who knows lol. I also don't mean to imply that women shouldn't get married!!!! I have many cisgender female friends in very happy and healthy heterosexual relationships!!! It's awesome for them and it works for them and it's cool and I love them and the lives they have built for themselves. Lives come in all shapes and sizes, and that's great. But I finished yet another book with yet another female protagonist in yet another unhealthy relationship for the fifth time this year or whatever and I was just like, No wonder I gave Olivia that speech. No wonder I'm looking for another narrative.

[ellsieee]

Taeha really is a bit of an asshole isn't he?

He has no respect for Jiwoon, going so far as to enter his home without permission and to kiss him without explaining himself first when Jiwoon had explicitly told him he didn't want to continue their relationship.

I knew Jiwoon's resolve wouldn't last. He went back to Taeha immediately after finding out he broke off his engagement. It doesn't bother him at all that Taeha wanted to get married and have kids, and that he was willing to cheat and lie for who knows how long if Sohee hadn't called Jiwoon out. I'm worried for Jiwoon. He's telling Taeha what choosing him means, the societal pressures he will face, and Taeha says that having Jiwoon is enough, but seeing that he didn't deal with that pressure well the first time, I don't feel confident that Taeha understands what the consequences will truly be. I hope they talk about this issue a lot more off screen.

I hate that it's Jiwoon who is apologizing and kneeling. Taeha should be the one facing Sohee's wrath, groveling, and apologizing. That being said, I am glad Suk made Liuk do it because his acting was amazing and broke my heart.

That he takes on all of Sohee's blame and anger, and then pleads for Sohee to let Taeha off is too much. 😭 This whole scene was a knife to my heart. I can't live without him. Oh Jiwoon. 💔 Couldn't he have picked a better guy to love? He deserves better.

Oof. Sohee's words cutting deep. How else was she supposed to react though? I've seen comments saying she's psycho, but I actually think she's pretty normal about the whole thing. She's angry and lashing out. Who wouldn't be angry with being cheated on and dumped? Is she supposed to be nice and understanding about her fiancé breaking off their engagement? Should she be happy for Taeha and Jiwoon?

Jiwooooon. 💔 I want to give him a hug and then download tinder on his phone and find him a better guy. 😅

Arghhhh. Jiwoon protecting Taeha from knowing about how much he hurt Sohee. Why?? Taeha needs to know. I swear, the person that's going to be destroyed in this relationship is Jiwoon.

They've both said that they only need each other and are together so it's a happy ending right? Their final hug didn't make me melt though, it gave me more of an ominous feeling. It's romantic to say you only need each other, but reality is much harsher. I think it may be true for Jiwoon, but I have my doubts about Mr. I do what I want. I guess it's a happy ending for now.

I thought Suk would need a part 2 to finish Bad Guy, but I feel like this story is complete. Not completely satisfying, but complete. I wanted to see Taeha struggling with his feelings and then deciding to break up with Sohee. Also for Jiwoon and Taeha to talk about why Taeha wanted to get married in the first place, what's changed, and why Taeha will be able to make it work this time around. I think that would have provided the closure I'm looking for, and made Taeha a more likeable and sympathetic character. It would also give the audience confidence that these two can make it. As it is now, I think a lot of us want Jiwoon to find himself someone better.

If I sound like I'm hating on Bad Guy, I'm not. This was still a good series. I was engaged and excited for each new ep. I don't love Taeha because he's extremely selfish, but I found his character interesting. I love Jiwoon, my tragic lovefool. I enjoyed the exploration of a messy, imperfect, and helpless love. The acting was great too. I hope Suk hires Liuk again, he is the best actor (in a bl) Suk has hired so far. Though perhaps Suk can arrange to have Riu or Hoolim teach him how to kiss. There's room for improvement.

[former-leftist-jew]

I really loved your post about religious extremism and I wanted to add that a lot of the people using the "peaceful, noble Palestinian" trope (like you said, the noble savage trope) would have no problem understanding that a Christian population is bigoted against gays because they were raised in that faith and ministered to by bigots -- for instance, Russian leadership using the language of Christianity to make "same sex propaganda" illegal (I literally know someone who went to jail for kissing another woman in front of Russian police) and then holding them to account when said government is removed from power, or even refusing to forgive them even when they've changed. These are totally understandable reactions to bigotry, even societal bigotry (my grandfather remains deeply homophobic due to his Christianity and even if he one day changes, I don't know that I'll be able to forgive him for supporting conversion therapy).

But when it's a non-Western population? Suddenly those people CAN'T be bigoted and CAN'T have been fed antisemitism and hatred for their entire lives because. I don't know, it's different with them! I know so many wonderful, affirming, progressive Muslims who have done the work to reinterpret and decolonize their faith, the same as I do Christians, Jews, Hindus, etc.. But I also know that in the Middle East, many don't DO that sort of reflection -- largely because they don't have the ability to due to decades of corrupt leadership and authoritarian rule. You can be a victim of religious extremism by virtue of being raised in it, but we NEED to hold these people to the same standards as we do Westerners coming out of religious extremism.

I'm not shocked Palestinians support Hamas -- it fucking sucks in Gaza, and has for a while. That's how terrorism gets its roots, same as the Taliban, the KKK, Al-Qaeda, etc; it preaches to a suffering population and promises it everything it wants, if only you'll hate XYZ group, if only you'll give us your children, etc. If we truly want to free Palestine -- which I do, I am a supporter of Palestinian self determination and ending anti-Arab racism and Islamophobia -- then we need to understand all this and help them decolonize and de-terrorize.

(I hope any of that made sense, I just sort of rambled)

Daww, thank you! I'm glad my pot struck a chord with you. ^_^

Yeah, believe it or not, I do have a lot of sympathy for the average Palestinian Muslim/Christian. It's just... like Atticus said of Mayella Ewell in To Kill a Mockingbird, my sympathy doesn't extend so far as to condone anihilating Israel and massacring all Jews.

I do believe that everyone has a right to self-determination and self-government. Gay people have a right to marry who they love, trans people have a right to dress and live as the gender they identify as, Arab Muslims have a right to worship Allah with Muhammad as his last and final Prophet, Jews have a right to self-determine and self-govern, etc.

TBH, I think there's a cruel irony that an estimated 30-60% of Palestinian Arabs share ancient Canaanite/Hebrew ancestry with modern Jews (meaning, they're also descended from ancient Jews), but since the region was forcibly conquered and converted by Islamic Caliphs in the 600's, it's fair to assume their Jewish ancestors were colonized and/or forcibly converted. (Or at least passively pressured to convert over time, since non-Muslims in Sharia Law are made to pay a poll tax and live as second-class citizens to Muslim citizens--so who wouldn't want to switch to Islam under that literal two-tiered legal system?)

Part of me thinks, "Why would you WANT to stay with Islam when your ancestors were conquered and forcibly converted (or at least passive-aggressively pressured to convert) as sure as Vietnam is largely Catholic because of their French Catholic former colonisers? BUT AGAIN, I respect their right to self-determination and their desire for self-government. If the Palestinian Muslims with ancient Hebrew blood want to stay with Islam, live in an Islamic society, and be ruled by an Islamic government, that's their right.

With that said, part of me feels like the average Palestinian Muslims (and Christians) have been duped by their Islamofascist government to see Israeli Jews not as long-lost brothers and sisters who finally returned home after centuries in exile, but as "foreign invaders" trying to take what little scraps they have. Both in the early 20th century and early 21's century.

You know that leftist meme that goes like:

"A CEO, white kid, and black kid sit at a table. The CEO's plate is piled high with 10 cookies, white the kids' are empty. He then tosses a cookie to the white kid and says, 'That black kid wants to steal your cookie.'"?

That is LITERALLY Hamas is doing to the Palestinian Arabs and Jews!

Hamas notoriously hoards as much of Gaza's food, fuel, water, resources, and wealth as they can, throw their people just enough scraps to get by, and then tells them, "Those Jews wants to steal your land, your religion, and your liberty. Help us kill the Jew, and you'll be living in Paradise." When the state of the rest of the Middle East (which have little to no Jews left in them) shows otherwise.

And I'm so disgusted by how the Left West recognizes that manipulation tactic when it comes to rich white CEO's duping poor whites into blaming black "welfare queens" and brown "illegal immigrants" for their lack of the good life, but somehow CAN'T connect the dots when Islamofascist dictators who openly hoard all their country's resources for themselves and spread oppressive violence and misogyny to the rest of the population do the exact same thing to the average impoverished Muslim regarding "Jews" and "Western invaders."

The average Muslim? Believe it or not, I DO have some sympathy. Based on what I've seen and read from various ex-Muslims, it sounds like Arab Islamic culture doesn't really encourage critical thinking, self-examination, or widespread education as the norm. MANY ex-Muslims I've met and talked to IRL, and that I follow on social media, talk about how, when they were growing up

A lot of Palestinians are also pretty upfront about how "we don't question" what they've been taught about Islam and Jews.

But, you know what? As far as I'm concerned, it's time to START questioning. It's time to START thinking about it. It's time to START making room for non-Muslims to live beside and share equal rights and resources with Muslims.

And I'm so grossed out that the Western Left encourages the religious bigotry, intolerance, and "no dogs or Jews allowed here!" segregation because "It's their culture/religion." Well then, they need to change with the times like everyone else.

[blackjack-15]

the way nat is treated is sooo sad and predictable. she doesn't always (present day) handle things well, but...with an upbringing like this? and good on her for pouring the liquor down the drain and bringing paper towels

"oh you're gonna make sprite?" "yeah, i'm gonna make sprite" that's carmy in a nutshell. push on a wall, it becomes a bridge.

"holding everything in and then letting it out inappropriately" you've reduced the bear to its most basic components!

he made sprite! something from nearly nothing, that's carmy. and no one even thanks him to his face. he didn't have to do it, he was doing 6 other things at once, and he still made sprite for someone who was having a hard time

also richie's ex wife reminds me strongly of mrs. berzatto. just saying.

"why isn't someone listening to me?" "i'm listening" "WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO ME" and this is mrs berzatto at a 4/5? we're gonna see her at a 6+ before long

i hate to armchair-diagnose, but there's pretty obviously a personality disorder present here in the Matriarch of the Berzatto clan. histrionic personality disorder is my immediate thought, but could be something else.

"no one's f//kin with you why would you think that?" gee i wonder.

"we ran into the love of your life" "i don't have a love of my life" 1) they're 100% talking about claire 2) carmy baby. you're so right you don't yet.

wow i hate mikey/richie right now. but! this adds a whole new dimension to carmy re: claire! because claire is tied to mikey, to what mikey 'wanted' for carmy, and that makes this whole thing come full circle, doesn't it?

"what did you do. what did you do." maybe christmas in copenhagen would have been a good idea.

carmy's absolute distaste for this whole 'conversation' (the glasses came off? the body is banging? really guys? you're being disgusting) is beautiful. carmy's got many, many vices and makes a lot of mistakes, but this is Not something he puts up with

"i don't understand why you would do this. why are you like this" oh carmy honey.

"i'm not in love with her, that's what i'm saying, where did you guys get that?"

THERE IT IS.

there's the reason for showing how carmy reacts when someone wants something from him, why the awful phone conversation with claire has her making him go from not wanting to give his number to saying "i want you to have my number". we have to see how carmy goes from saying no -- the truth -- to saying yes -- a lie -- after pressure is put on him. because this is where it starts.

claire represents what others want for carmy. normalcy, a chance -- his "only" chance -- to be with someone deemed societally Valuable. to not be an "other", to fit in, to have something "Good" that everyone thinks is good. carmy/claire is nauseating, but it's supposed to be. people spend so much time on screen telling us how Good claire is, when the show itself doesn't back it up. she's a figure of myth, a representation of the expectations others set on carmy and that he bows to, not a character. full stop.

and wow this is legitimately hard to watch. carmy attempts to set boundary, boundary is ignored. rinse, repeat.

they think carmy's in love with her -- this is a man in his, what, late 20s at this point? -- because he used to draw her in high school? the tenuous is getting more tenuous my Gosh.

"carm. this is a good thing." oh and no it really really isn't.

okay nice moment here for richie. does he think carmy is weird? yeah. does he still kinda brag about his sprite-making abilities? yeah

okay, ex wife is the worst. the boy makes you sprite b/c you don't feel good and there's none in the house and you ask why they'd 'punish' a nice girl like claire by hooking carmy up with her?

richie is adorable with his daughter and despite everything going wrong in his life (both his fault and not) is a really good dad ("do you think that she'll like us?" is such a soft question). i am really, really glad he's divorced. i want him to find happiness -- i don't know what that would look like for him just yet, but.

"we just have to not be like our parents" the other distillation of the bear!

richie trying to get a better job for his kid is really sweet. mikey telling the bill murray story in the background? hilarious

we're further breaking down the Mythos of Mikey -- he's introduced as a perfect, tragic figure, and we've spent a season and a half showing his foibles...which are Many.

[i8anton]

the heavy emphasis on mew's virginity is very important: a comparison post for details behind top's fixation on mew

watching episode one of only friends reminded me of the virgin suicides (1999) and i think there's a lot of important things to point out about purity culture and how unattainability benefits the male gaze.

*disclaimer: the movie and this series are two very different pieces of media but i enjoy the comparison to be able to understand force's character better (also spoilers for both)

if you don't know what the virgin suicides is about, basically it's about these five sisters raised in a strict catholic household and the neighborhood boys who are infatuated with them. KEYWORD: INFATUATED.

from the beginning, when top says how he's interested in mew, boston immediately tries to shut him down out of jealousy. including, using mew's virginity as an excuse that it would bore top.

top's response?

*shivers* i hate that <3

not only does he try to push mew into it, but when mew stands his ground and top realizes he's not getting anywhere, he proceeds to follow him around the entire week.

this is similar to trip fontaine from the virgin suicides.

when lux (one of the sisters) didn't give trip the time of day, he felt determined to have her even more. no one had ever told him no before, it was easy with everyone else. HMM SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE WE KNOW...

erm... moving on! trip's significance is that he goes to dinner and gets to know lux's parents, he takes lux to prom, he does all these things and she falls in love with him. they have sex on the football field and he's gone by morning. and they never spoke again!!!

HERE'S WHY THAT'S RELEVANT

top speaks about mew like he's a prize to be won. the same way the boys in this movie spoke about the sisters.

in the end, they had never truly loved the girls. they never even knew the girls. only the idea of them, what they heard through other people, or from watching them from their rooms. they were unattainable and pure which left these boys absolutely obsessed with them.

does top stop pursuing mew after he already has him? after his idea of mew is already captured and tainted? WE'LL SEE!

in conclusion: purity culture, the societal pressure with virginity, and the male gaze is very important to me within this episode and i love mew so much i hope he ruins top's life.

[gaelfox]

Hey! I've read your analysis over why Law choose Love over hate and sincerely made my day! It's so touching and deep. I wish you could give your opinion over Law and Cora more. How did you see them both? Like just some dad and son doomed dynamic? Like Bellemere and Nami? Cause I think they're so more!!

Ahhh thank you! I could talk FOREVER about Law and Cora and their story and their dynamic. So I will. Lol. So, I think where Law and Cora's relationship falls for me, after thinking on it for awhile, doesn't really fall under the Father/Son dynamic. We've got a lot of that relationship with, like you said, Bellmere and Nami, and also with Kyros and Rebecca, and now Kuma with [REDACTED]. Parental relationships in all their forms are something that is touched upon a lot in the writing, but Cora and Law never really kind of felt that way to me. In the context of Family - the Donquihote Family specifically - it's pretty damn clear that Doflamingo holds the "head of household" that's normally associated with The Father Figure. He's authoritative, he protects his own, and he provides. Despite their actions that affected the outside world, the Family was well taken-care of. If anyone had a Father/Son dynamic in terms of societal and familial dynamic stereotypes, it's Doflamingo and Law. (And we know, Doflamingo would be a horrible father - he's teaching all the wrong lessons)

So, where does Cora fall in? Where does his aloofness-turned-overprotectiveness fit the best? His sacrifices, his joy and his rebellion against the family? Cora is, at heart, The Eldest Son and Sibling. It kind of goes like this: if you've ever grown up with an elder sibling as I have, you know that they fulfill a role in your life that is unique. While your parents are responsible for teaching their kids the ins-and-outs of societal expectation, setting standard role model behavior and passing on life lessons, elder siblings are the ones setting the example for such expectations for their younger siblings in real time. They are our first real role model that we can understand.

Cora follows a lot of the Elder Sibling Tropes, especially those of being the Rebelling Figure as well as the Secret Protector. To Start, Cora is obviously working undercover. Even before Law came into the picture, he was already working on dismantling the Family from within, and saving Baby 5 and Buffalo, mere children who were dangerously close to falling in line with Doffy's ideals. Cora was already Rebelling Against the Authoritative, Abusive Father of the Family -- but he couldn't draw attention to himself for the safety of his plan. So he plays the Mean Older Brother. The kind that pulls your pigtails and calls your names and pile drives you into the couch. Every action by which you curl your lip in disgust. But we know, his message is clear: Get out of this House. I'm Stuck Here, but You Don't Have To Be. It's a cruel understanding that only harm and violence would ever get the kids to second-guess their want to be in the Family, but it's not like he could entice them with kindness or understanding when that and more was being provided by Coolest Dad in the World Doflamingo. Cora had his hands tied. Up until Law.

Law was a different story. Cora's method worked(?) up until the point where discovering Law's name (and the impending pressure of his dying sickness) forced his hand to act completely differently than he had up until that point. Cora was then able to be the Guiding Sibling, the Protector, and the First Best Friend. After all, Dad was about to do something dangerous that the Kids couldn't stand for anymore. It was time to act. Cora Rebelled completely. He was the kid that was finally fed up with Dad swinging his fists each night, packed up his meager belongings and hit the road with little to nothing to his name. He stepped up as a role model and positive figure where Doflamingo had failed completely. Dad was an asshole, but the Eldest Brother we now understand has the capability of being kind - and his actions are now more understood. We know now that even though he thought it was "uncool" that you were tagging along in the back of his car with his friends, it was when Dad was becoming unruly again, and he was saving you from having to witness it.

Then the script and facade change, and he's no longer the Cruel, Unrelatable Older Sibling. There's awkwardness and tentativeness as he navigates this new dynamic of "Hey, I'm actually on your side...let's try to get through this together? It's okay, he's not here". He tries to be cool. He tries to be relatable, and he tries so hard to connect on Law's level. He's been there, he understands. There is nobody on earth who knows just how cruel and awful the World can be, but this is the Generation that Breaks the Trauma. This is the child that looks at the sins of the Father and says "No, no more."

And of course, we see how that goes. We see how, albeit slowly, their relationship grows close and fulfilling. Law's eyes are opened to a new path in life, a new understanding of love and sacrifice. Cora stands strong despite all odds, selflessly helping his Younger Brother overcome his obstacles, both physically and mentally - he's the new role model, the first person to say "I love you" in years. The first person batting on his side. The first person that cared and saw him at all. So yeah, not Father/Son, but much like Ace, Sabo and Luffy, I definitely feel that Cora's overall story fits so well with the Sibling Dynamic. So many older siblings are unfortunately forced to step up where their parents fail, that's a cruel fact of life, but I feel like it gives them both an opportunity to grow together and confront Doflamingo as a team -- it's a perfect rendition of what's happening in Cora and Law's story together. Thank you so much for the ask!