#he truly cares for dongha. he really does. i just need to see it from HIS perspective

[nilesmoon]

yknow what ill fucking say it. when will amprule get a drama track thats not just "hajun and dongha talking". when will the actual group members get to Talk to Each Other

[blu-joons]

When You Support Them During The House Party Comeback ~ Super Junior Reaction

Leeteuk:

Your expression softened the moment you walked into the dressing room and saw Jeongsu sat with his head in his hands. “Everything going alright?” You asked him, noticing the chaos of the other members who sat around, frowning as he looked across at you.

“I’m just doing a lot of thinking,” he admitted, encouraging you to take a seat beside him.

You nodded understandingly, studying his face closely, “anything that you happen to be thinking about particularly?”

“Just how lucky I am,” he whispered, not wanting any of the others to here. “I never imagined when we released Twins that I’d still be sitting in dressing rooms fifteen years later preparing to perform on music shows still.”

Whilst Jeongsu had always been one to reflect as the leader, you were well aware that their recent anniversary had triggered a new wave of feelings in him. “It’s nice to see you perform without the rookie pressure these days.”

“I’m definitely starting to feel my age,” he chuckled in response to you, “one run through of House Party and I’m ready for a nap.”

“Just at least try and look young in front of the cameras,” you teased.

His hand reached out to push against your arm, “as long as everyone else still thinks I’m young, you can be the one to deal with my old bones at the end of the show.”

“You know that I’ll take the best care of you!”

Heechul:

As you walked in on Heechul running through his rap once again, a proud smile graced your face, noticing his eyes fall on you once he’d finished. “Sounds good,” you complimented, walking into his open arms as he reached out for you to approach him.

“I wish that I could do more,” he admitted, kissing softly against the top of your head.

Your brows furrowed instantly, “you do as much as you can, and I know the fans and the boys all appreciate it too.”

“At times I wonder how different things could be if I was able to perform on the stage though,” he sighed, “it still never quite feels the same only being able to spend a few moments on stage, it wasn’t supposed to be the way.”

You reached across and placed your hand into his tightly, “just being on the stage is huge for you, whilst you can’t change the years you’ve spent on the side-line, you’re here for this comeback, which I’m sure means the world.”

“It does feel nice to be around the group for a comeback again,” he confessed, taking a quick look around the room.

“And I know they’re all happy to see you too,” you noted.

His head nodded proudly, “I don’t want to get myself upset, I know that I should just be thankful for the chance to even be on the stage right now.”

“There’s nothing wrong with getting upset, it’s understandable.”

Yesung:

As Jungwoon placed his camera in front of you yet again, your hand reached out and pushed it away to face the members beside you. “I’m not a part of this,” you reminded him, pointing out to the carnage that was surrounding you both instead.

“You’re here supporting me, it’s a big deal,” he replied, turning his camera back around again.

Your eyes rolled at how persistent he was, “at least take some pictures of the group so that you can remember this time.”

“We’ve been together for weeks, I’ve got plenty with those losers,” he laughed, “but it’s my first time having you at one of our music shows, so I want the chance to take a photograph of you to remember this time.”

Despite your protests, you soon ended up smiling for Jungwoon to take a photo of you, only to be quickly interrupted by Hyukjae by your side. “I don’t remember asking for a group photo to be taken of us all.”

“I just want a picture of Y/N,” Jungwoon complained, pushing Hyukjae to one side, “my whole album is full of your ugly face.”

“I’ll have you know my face is very photogenic,” Hyukjae argued.

Jungwoon’s head shook, taking your hand and dragging you to somewhere where he could get you alone. “I’m determined to get a picture of you today.”

“Good luck with all of these guys around us.”

Shindong:

Your hand came over your mouth as you spotted Donghee miming against the mirror. It didn’t disguise the small squeal that came from you. “Sorry,” you whispered as his head snapped around to see where the noise had come from, grinning when he saw you.

“I’m just trying to create the perfect ending fairy,” he announced to you.

Your eyes rolled at his smile, “just smile and you’ll be perfect. What exactly are you trying to come up with for it anyway?”

“I thought I’d try and mime,” he spoke, repeating his actions once again so you could see what he was working on. “It’s something I’ve not seen anyone do before, even SHINee didn’t come up with something like that.”

You couldn’t help but be impressed not only by his creative mind, but also his high skills when it came to dance. “I think the fans will love it, and I know that you’re enjoying yourself whilst you’re creating it too.”

“I’ve definitely missed performing live,” he smiled, “I’ve just got the camera block to make sure that this looks as good as I want it too.”

“From what I’ve seen, it’ll be brilliant on the show,” you hummed.

His arm moved to wrap tightly around your shoulders, “if nothing else, knowing that I’ve put a smile on your face by doing it has already made it a good decision to make.”

“Everyone will smile watching you, I just know it.”

Eunhyuk:

His eyes fell on you as soon as you found him hidden away in the corridor of M Countdown, pausing his phone as you approached him. “You know the routine Hyukjae, there’s no need to worry,” you quickly tried to comfort him before he started again.

“I just want to make sure everything is perfect,” he frowned, letting go of a sigh.

You walked over and took a hold of his hands before he could continue, “you’ve danced for years, as soon as you step on the stage, you’ll be fine.”

“I know,” he frowned, leaning forwards to rest his forehead against yours, “I’ve been going through it so much with everyone else that suddenly it just feels like I’m the one who has no idea how the routine goes anymore.”

Your hand moved up to cup the side of his face, “why don’t you go over it once, with me? If you’re perfect, then you stop practicing, and if you make a mistake, you still stop practicing because you know you’ll be fine.”

“How’s that fair?” He laughed, “either way you end up getting your way, but what happens if I truly make a mistake Y/N?”

“I know that you won’t, that’s why,” you assured him.

His smile grew as you squeezed his hands, “I don’t know how you manage to make me feel better so often when I’m so full of self-doubt. How do you do it Y/N?”

“Because I know exactly what you’re like Hyukjae.”

Siwon:

Sweaty arms wrapped around you as soon as Siwon made his way off the stage, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead. “You’re gross,” you remarked, trying to wriggle out of his grip, but his strong arms kept you against his chest despite your protests.

“You should be telling me you’re proud of me,” he quickly retaliated against you.

Your eyes rolled, “you know that I’m proud of you, but not when you’re stuck to me, at least go and get a shower first.”

“You don’t normally complain like this,” he teased, unwrapping himself from around you as a member of staff began to remove his mic pack. “What did you think of the stage. anyway, did you enjoy being a part of our House Party.”

Without a thought, your head nodded excitedly. “You were centre a lot, but you absolutely killed it. Sometimes I watch you and I still feel like I’m watching you back in 2010, the last decade all feels like a blur.”

“My body is certainly starting to feel it,” he grinned, grabbing onto your shoulder, “can you believe we always used to perform at that intensity?”

“I reckon you still could if you tried hard enough,” you wisely responded.

Siwon’s eyebrows raised in surprise at your sudden remark, “this is my workplace, I can’t believe you’d even dare try and suggest such things right now.”

“I have no idea what you could be talking about.”

Donghae:

You sat back as Donghae moved around the dressing room, making sure to record as much as he could for his vlog. “Have you got any footage of yourself?” You asked as he passed you by again to record the mountain of food that was on the table.

“The fans don’t want to see me,” Donghae argued, keeping his camera out of your reach.

Your head shook, trying to grab onto it, “let me record you for a minute, you’ve at least got to show off that ponytail you’re rocking.”

“The fans have already seen my hair,” he tried to argue, but it was too late, you finally had a hold of his camera and quickly started following him around. “Are you really going to be alright with your voice being in the vlog.”

Your head nodded as you moved with him around the dressing room, “I’m sure the fans will thank me for filling them up on Donghae content, don’t you worry. Now, tell the fans a bit about what you’re doing right now.”

“I’m finding the right bandana to go with my outfit,” he informed the camera, holding up the selection that he’d picked out.

“What about the one that I bought for you?” You quickly suggested.

Donghae reached in and pulled out the black and white bandana you bought when he first started growing his hair out. “I was leaning towards this one anyway.”

“I know you were, because I bought it for you.”

Ryeowook:

His silence instantly concerned you as you walked back into the dressing room once everyone was changed and prepared for the comeback stage. “Feeling good?” You asked Ryeowook, desperate to get even a couple of words out of him to reassure yourself.

“It’s been a little while, even if there’s no audience,” he admitted in response.

Your head nodded, “I’m sure it feels strange without Elf there to support you guys, but they’ll all be watching, around the world.”

“I still feel like a rookie,” he sighed, brushing his hand gently through his fringe, “I look around and see all these younger singers, and that still feels like me, but it’s not. How have our fans stuck around with us for so many years?”

Your smile softened, taking a tight hold of his hand, “your fans have stuck around because you guys are amazing. Even if you’re far from rookies, you still have that rookie mind that makes people always fall in love with you.”

“I feel a lot better after talking to you,” he whispered, straightening out his suit jacket, “will you be there watching?”

“Of course, just have a little confidence in yourself,” you smiled.

His head nodded, unable to hide the growing smile that developed on his face, “I know what you’re trying to do, but I’m confident of putting on a good show.

“That’s what I love to hear from you.”

Kyuhyun:

The flash of a light coming across your face yet again caused you to groan, your eyes flickered up and pushed Kyuhyun to one side. “You’ll drain the battery of that before you get on the stage,” you sighed, knowing how bad of an idea it was to trust him with a prop.

“They’ve got hundreds of lights for Burn the Floor,” he smugly teased back at you.

Your eyes rolled, trying to reach out to take the light, “I’ll be blind before I get to see you guys perform the song too.”

“So dramatic,” Kyuhyun scoffed, placing the light down on the table. “If you play your cards right, I could try and steal one of these to take back to the dorm and give you your own private performance of the song.”

Your hand pushed against his shoulder, sending him stumbling back, “why would I want to watch it at the dorm when I could watch all of you here, live? And the proper dancers are here then, I don’t have to watch you.

“How dare you,” he chuckled, stepping back towards you, “do you not remember I was a lead dancer in Bonamana all those years ago?”

“Many years ago,” you laughed, “I think a lot has changed since then.”

Kyuhyun’s head shook, picking the light back up, “you just wait, the performance I give you simply won’t compare to what you’ll see on the stage in a while.”

“It won’t compare, but not in a good way Kyu.”

---

Masterlist

[tpwkjerii]

as you wish | 3

your one true love was lost in a pirate accident five years ago, and now you’re engaged to a cruel prince. with all your misfortune, you didn’t expect three unconventional thugs and a painfully familiar pirate to save you from a dreadful future. (inspired by The Princess Bride)

pairing: pirate!seokjin x princess!reader

warnings: fluff and angst (!!), reader is forced into engagement and becoming a princess, mentions of death, kidnapping, murder threats, mentions of monsters and fire, kissing, attempted murder, cursing

genre: fairy tale/pirate au, semi established relationship au

word count: 3.7k+

a/n: two more parts left eek (this is also kinda unedited; my apologies for any grammar mistakes :[ )

prev | next | m.list

“Looks like your darling Prince has caught up to us,” the masked man stated dryly, his arms crossed in obvious displeasure.

You furrowed your brows. “You’re not working for him?” you asked quickly.

He scoffed in response. “Why would I work for him,” he spat.

You rolled your eyes at his attitude, concern growing in your mind. You still had no idea who this man was, so going with him was a 50/50 chance of life or death, and you definitely knew that Prince Donghae would not be pleased if he got to you. The last thing you wanted was a repeat of your first night at the castle — it wasn’t unlikely that he would go further either.

However, you didn’t have much time to decide on or say something as the masked man harshly grabbed your arms and pulled you away. You sputtered as he practically dragged your body down the hill.

“What do you want from me?” you asked, your voice and body tired. “If it’s ransom, I promise that you can get it, no matter the amount.”

The man in black scoffed again. “And how much do you think you’re worth, your Highness? What are your words worth, the mere promise of a Princess?”

You sighed, your irritation growing with his stubbornness. “I was giving you a chance… It doesn’t matter where you take me, Prince Donghae is the greatest hunter in this kingdom. He will find you, and I can’t guarantee your fate for when he does.”

He laughed scornfully. “You think your dearest love, the Prince, will save you?” he questioned.

Your face screwed at his suggestion. “I never said that he was my dearest love and yes, he will save me, that I know.”

“You admit to me that you do not love your fiance?” the man asked you, shock evident in his tone.

“He knows I don’t love him,” you responded simply.

“Are not capable of love is what you mean,” he remarked snarkily.

His words stung and, outraged, you planted your feet on the ground above you and ripped yourself out of his grip. You looked at the masked man directly in the eyes, pain in your voice as you told him, “I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream.”

This man may have several physical similarities to Seokjin, but his words and attitude clearly showed otherwise. Perhaps your first impression based on his revealing attire was correct after all.

He was silent as you continued. “I know exactly who you are. Your cruelty revealed it all.” He remained silent as he simply looked at you.

“You’re the dread Pirate Joohyun; admit it!” you exclaimed, anger towards the man who killed the only man you ever truly loved overtaking you.

A mischievous smirk spread across the man’s face. “With pride,” he responded, causing you to breathe out in anger. “What can I do for you?” he asked teasingly.

“You can die slowly — burn and be fed to the sharks for all I care!” you answered, angry tears spilling down your face from his words.

He winced in faux pain. “Those words hurt, your Highness. What have I done to deserve such a cruel fate?”

You stepped closer to him, now staring him dead in the eyes. “You killed my love,” you said, your voice threateningly low.

The man faltered, and for a brief second you almost thought that he had remorse for you. “That’s possible. I’ve killed a lot of people,” he replied bluntly before immediately grabbing you again.

You scoffed, struggling against his strong arms as he dragged you further away.

“Who was this love of yours? Another prince? Was he ugly and rich like this one?” he remarked, contempt clear in his voice. You briefly wondered what exactly this man had against you and your fiance (who you don’t even like) before you responded.

“No,” you started, keeping your voice as level as possible as you reminisced about Seokjin. “A poor farm boy. Poor but perfect, with eyes like chocolate and the kindest soul I’ve ever met.” You stepped closer to the masked man, tears now slowly rolling down your face. “Your ship attacked, and we all know that you, dread Pirate Joohyun, don’t take any prisoners.”

He was slow to reply. “I can’t afford to make any exceptions. Once word goes out that a pirate’s gone soft, people start to take risks and disobey you. Then it’s nothing but work and fighting from there,” he explained like a teacher would.

You breathed out in disbelief at his outward lack of contrition. “You mock my pain,” you spat.

“Life is pain, your Highness.” His grip on your arm tightened and his pace quickened. “Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond before he continued, “I think I remember your farm boy. That would have been what, two years ago?”

You remained silent, the past two days and sudden onslaught of this man’s harsh words and memories of Seokjin bringing tears to your eyes.

“Does that bother you to hear? To think about once again?” he persisted.

You ripped yourself out of his grip again and pushed his chest, sending him a few feet back. “Nothing you say now can upset me any more than you already have. My heart is used to harshness and disinterest.”

The masked man ignored your words and continued sharply, “He died well, that should please you. No bribe attempts or useless blubbering. He only said ‘Please. Please, I need to live.’ That’s what caught my memory. I asked him what was so important on this earth that he deserved to live for, and he said true love.” He paused to laugh bitterly. “Then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume he meant you. You should thank me for killing him before he found out who you truly are.”

“And who am I?” you countered, stepping closer to him in anger.

“Faithfulness, my lady. He mentioned your unwavering faithfulness,” he responded bitterly. “Now tell me, when you found out he died, did you get engaged to your prince that hour, or did you at least wait a week, out of respect for the dead?”

Your hands balled up by your sides. “Don’t mock me anymore! I died that day! You speak as if it was my choice!”

“Was it no-”

The masked man paused, and both of your heads turned towards the fields which he rushed you away from. There, Prince Donghae and his small army were making their way in your current direction.

Your eyes moved from the royal soldiers towards Seokjin towards the ravine that was lying below the hills on your right side; and with only a moment of thought, your hands moved up towards Seokjin’s chest.

“You too can die for all I care,” you said darkly before you pushed him down the hill.

You watched as he tumbled down the grassy hill, no emotions running through your tired body. It wasn’t until three words, three words which used to bring you great comfort and happiness, rang out, the voice behind them growing further and further away by the second.

“...As…you…wish…”

Your hand instantly flew to your mouth in horror. You were wrong - extremely wrong. “Oh my god, what have I done? My sweet Seokjin,” you whispered, your mind reeling at the sudden turn of events.

Without a second thought or consideration of the dangers ahead of you, you ran down the steep hill into the ravine. You barely made it a few meters before your foot got caught on a rock, sending you tumbling down the hill and into the ravine behind Seokjin.

You winced as you landed on the dirt, your body sore from the heavy impact.

“Can you move at all?” you heard Seokjin groan from a few feet away.

“Can I move?” you started, lifting your head up to look at him. His mask was off his face now, allowing you to perfectly see his beautiful face and know that it really was him.  “Seokjin, you’re alive. I could fly if you asked me too.”

“Fly then.”

“You know I meant that figuratively, Jinnie,” you said with a sigh, a wave of relief crashing through you as you realized his sense of humor never changed even after all this time. “Oh, Seokjin,” you murmured, closing your eyes and laying your head down on the ground again.

The leaves and stones crunched beneath him as he stood up and walked towards you. “I told you that I would always come back to you,” he said, leaning down to gently caress your face before lifting you to your feet. You opened your eyes and looked up to meet his eyes, your hand instinctively reaching for his. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” he asked softly.

You felt a knot in your chest as you answered. “You were dead. And I had no choice in following Prince Donghae’s orders of becoming his Princess if I wanted to live.”

He let go of your hand, much to your initial dismay, and moved it up to gently cup your cheek. “You should have had more faith in me. Death can’t stop true love, it can delay it at most,” he spoke earnestly.

You nodded, eyes glazing over as you said, “I’ll never doubt again.”

“You will never need to doubt,” Seokjin replied before he leaned down and closed the distance between your lips. His plump lips were slightly chapped yet still maintained their soft quality. You melted in the familiarity of his tongue swiping against your bottom lip and the way he pulled away only for a few seconds just to kiss you again. His large hands rested gently on your face before moving to your lower back and the back of your head as he pulled you deeper into the kiss.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally pulled away. Breathless, you both took a few seconds to catch your breath.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for the past two years,” Seokjin admitted with a laugh as he massaged your hands lovingly.

“If you’d taken that mask off earlier we could’ve done that at least 20 hours ago.” You laughed.

Seokjin opened his mouth, ready to reply before an echo of a horse’s whine rang through the gorge. You and Seokjin looked up and saw the man whose appearance you’d been dreading this past journey. Prince Donghae had dismounted from his horse and was looking down into the gorge, an unrecognizable expression on his face.

Your breath caught in your throat. “Do you think… he can see us?” you whispered to Seokjin.

He shook his head. “Unlikely. Even if he does, he’s too late. There’s no way they can get around this gorge in less than at least three days.”

Seokjin’s confidence reassured you, although a small feeling of reassurance still gnawed at your stomach. “Are you sure?”

He nodded and gave you a kind smile. “I’m positive, my love. Even if he did, I would not let him take you from me again — I would rather die than let that happen.”

You sighed and shook your head. “Still dramatic, aren’t you?” you asked with a teasing smile.

He scoffed in offense. “It’s true! I really would!”

“I’ll take your word for it, Jin,” you said lightly.

He grinned and leaned down to press a soft kiss on your cheek. A blush spread across your face as he grabbed your hand and gently tugged you forward. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“How do you know where to go?” you asked curiously, examining the dense forest ahead of you.

“Do you think I’ve just been lazing around the past two years?” He reached his arm towards his back and unsheathed his sword, the silver barely shining in the low light that barely peeked into the gorge. “I’m not the same farm boy that I once was.”

“And what happened these past two years, Seokjin?” you asked as you followed him while he skillfully led you through the thick trees.

He sliced through a natural wall of tiny branches, a sharp slicing noise filling your ears. “Would you like the short story or the long story?”

You took his hand as you hopped over the pile of dead branches and leaves. “Well, I’m assuming that we have at least two or three to go through whatever this place is, so I suppose that you have time to tell the long story?”

“You’re absolutely correct,” he said cheekily, using his sword to cut through a wall of vines that hung from the trees. “Before I start, I would like to hear about you.”

You jumped as you heard a loud chirp from within the forest, instinctively moving closer to Seokjin, who moved his hand so he could wrap his arm securely around you. “What about me?” you asked, your voice still shaky in mild fear from the unexpected noise.

“You know what I mean, Y/N.” He took a deep breath as you sliced through another wall of built up branches. “How did you end up as Princess, engaged and to be married to Prince Donghae? What happened?”

“Not too long after you left us, father died—”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupted you, a sorrowful look on his face.

“It’s ok, I’ve already made my peace with his death.” You smiled at him gently before you continued. “Not too long after, news spread of the King’s deteriorating health and the subsequent search for a Princess since Prince Donghae was yet to court anyone. Prince Donghae began searching throughout the Kingdom for any princess he deemed suitable, and honestly I expected the search to end in the inner Kingdom with a wealthy daughter of the court.

But I guess none of them satisfied him, and one day he was in our village. All potential ladies were gathered together in the Church - trust me I wouldn’t have been there if I wasn’t forced - and subject to his scruitany. Prince Donghae examined each lady, sparing some only a quick glance and other a brief exchange in words,” you paused to laugh bitterly, old feelings of resentment awakening. “I suppose that’s how I sealed my poor fate.”

“Something about me must have caught his attention, and he tried to start a conversation with me. Like a fool, I thought I could get away with ignoring him.” You paused to breathe in deeply, the memory of that day bringing in a familiar feeling of deep regret. “And showing him I wasn’t interested. Evidently, my silence spurned his curiosity, and as of that evening, the search for the to-be Princess ended.”

“I’m sorry for assuming you left me on your own will,” Seokjin apologized with a pitiful expression. By now your walking pace had decreased to a leisurely stroll as he guided you through the dense trees. “I hope that life as a Princess has at least treated you well.”

“Treated me well?” You laughed indignantly. “While I may have not had to worry about finances and a sudan surplus of materialistic items, life in the palace has been everything but welcoming,” you began to rant. Seokjin, while trying to contain his anger, listened thoughtfully as you continued. “I don’t belong. They never fail to remind me of that very fact every single day.”

“Who’s they?”

“The royal court, the administrators — hell even Prince Donghae sometimes! I hear the whispers whenever I enter a room: the mutters of ‘why is the poor village girl still here?’ and ‘how could such a lowly maiden be the Princess?’ and more. It takes all my willpower to not scream at them and tell them that I didn’t want to be there in the first place. Prince Donghae chose me but I never chose him or this life.

Every moment of the day I’m surrounded by people and guards who monitor my every action. They wait by my chamber rooms, by the drawing room, by the garden, and by every single room I could ever be in. Anything suspicious or out-of-line is reported to the Queen, who hates that I wasn’t born into wealth or royalty. But out of everyone, Prince Donghae is the worst,” you muttered darkly, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you averted your gaze to the dirt floor.

“Why? What has he done to you?” Seokjin rushed, red hot anger spreading across his body.

You laughed bitterly. “All the sentiments that everyone in the Palace shares about me, he hears and feels them. He knows how I’m constantly ridiculed by the court and his own mother, yet he says nothing to them or of them. He uses me like a toy; he forces jewels and fine dresses onto me as his partner at formal events but throws me to the side when I’m not needed. There is not an ounce of love or affection between us. And heaven forbid I ever talk back or defend myself, because if I do… I’ll regret it.” Your hand unconsciously reached up to your neck, fingers touching the same spots Donghae’s were.

Seokjin seemed to understand what your sudden change in hand placement meant and his grip on his sword tightened. “That bastard touched you? He hurt you?”

You nodded. “But all physical injuries pale in comparison to the emotional blows I’ve faced. Like all things, though, I’ve grown uncaring. Their words won’t stop, that much I know, and for a long time I felt hopeless and knew that there was little - or nothing at all - I could do to change my fate. For many months, I just relished in the fact that I wasn’t dead.”

“If I had known that he was hurting you, I would’ve done everything I could to come back sooner.”

You looked up at him, and Seokjin’s heart ached at the vulnerability of your body language. You kept your voice soft as you asked, “What were you doing the past two years, Seokjin? How did you survive the attack?”

He sighed and slightly increased your walking pace as you entered a clearer path. “I first ought to explain that the dread Pirate Joohyun isn’t really Joohyun,” he paused to chuckle at your bewildered expression before continuing. “The real Pirate Joohyun has been retired twenty years now after securing enough gold and jewels to last his family three lifetimes. The rest of us have been under the mere illusion of a name… When my ship was attacked that night, I pleaded just like I told you did. The then-Joohyun, named Sihyuk, pitied me and welcomed me onto his ship.

I was a simple crewmate for a few weeks. It wasn’t seamless, of course. Every night, Sihyuk would tell me that he might kill me the next morning, but he never did. Before I realized it, he started training me in all skills a pirate should have: sword fighting, strength, balance, combat, everything. After a short few months, he told me everything about his true identity and the others before him and his plans to hand the title of ‘Pirate Joohyun’ to me.

I accepted, obviously, and the next day, we stopped at a port in Europe and got a new crew. When we set sail again, I was the Captain and Sihyuk called me ‘Joohyun’ until everyone believed that I was truly Joohyun. Then Sihyuk retired from pirating forever, and during the months between then and now, I fulfilled my duties as the Pirate Joohyun.”

You nodded, absorbing his story. It seemed like both of you had a rather unconventional past two years. “Did you ever go back? Back to our village?” you wondered aloud.

He nodded sadly. “I did once a few months ago. I left disappointed when the bakery lady told me that you had moved to the castle as the new Princess.”

“I’m so -”

“No.” Seokjin shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he stated firmly. “You did not deserve what you’ve been through, and my words were unwarranted. I did not know your side of the story and I thought harshly of you because of that.”

“It’s ok, Seokjin. I understand the pain you must have felt,” you whispered, your heart twinging at the thought of Seokjin leaving your tiny village, undoubtedly heartbroken and furious, under the impression that you no longer loved him and moved on with a rich Prince.

He paused in his steps and turned so you were directly facing him. His arms wrapped around you gently and you followed his movements. “I promise you, Y/N. You will never have to see Donghae or step foot into that castle again,” he whispered as he clutched you to his chest. You breathed in his familiar scent and tightened your arms around him. Seokjin’s hugs were just as comforting as before - if not more - and you basked in the way one of his hands rubbed circles in your lower back while the other slowly inched its way up to the back of your head.

You lifted your head up and met his eyes before you leaned in to press your lips against his. Your lips molded together perfectly, and you both rejoiced in the perfect feeling of electricity coursing through your veins and heat spreading across your chest as your mouths moved, magnificently in sync.

After your kiss, you and Seokjin continued through the forest. Seokjin, just as he mentioned, led you through expertly. You watched in amazement as he weaved you through every trap and navigated the unclear forest paths. Even when faced with unexpected monsters, Seokjin maintained his cool and swiftly killed them as if it was second nature.

(Although, he did complain about getting blood on his brand new top and singing the bottom of his pants when he nearly missed a fire trap).

The next few hours passed wonderfully with Seokjin and his comedic commentary, and you imagine that the journey would have been miserable with anyone else. When he announced that you were almost at the end of the gorge’s forest, you felt a ray of hope shine within you. Perhaps this would be the moment you’d dreamt of for the past two years. Maybe this was your second chance at life with Jin. Your excitement grew as you walked towards the visible clearing ahead, eager to leave the gorge with Jin at your side.

But of course, the prospect of being able to flee with Seokjin was too good to be true. You were right in your words before after all — Prince Donghae had found you.

[shownuslaugh]

Happy Birthday

Series: Super Junior 14th Member AU

Pairing: Minnie/Leeteuk

2019

             “Oppa!” Minnie bounces over to Leeteuk with a huge grin stretched across her face, pink skirt swishing around her thighs as she moves. “Happy birthday!”

             Leeteuk matches her smile exactly and holds out his arms for her to fall into them. She kisses his cheek, tracing her fingers over his jawline before taking a seat beside him. The restaurant isn’t too crowded but he can feel everyone looking over at the two of them. Especially his mother and sister. Leeteuk’s ears burn a bright red when he catches the knowing look on his mother’s face.

             “Did you do this,” he mouths at Inyoung while Minnie is busy baby talking Shimkoong.

             His sister shrugs with a smirk. “Maybe. Are you mad?”

             He looks over at Minnie, trying to ignore the way his heart speeds up a little in his chest when she glances up at him. She’s still absolutely beaming, happiness radiating from her. Truthfully… Leeteuk can’t be mad she’s here having dinner with them. He thought this was going to be a family affair but with the passage of the years Minnie’s become an extended part of his family. It makes sense for her to be here. It makes him happy to see her here.

             Then again, when is he not happy to see her?

             Leeteuk waves Inyoung off, focusing back on Minnie. “I thought you and Siwon were going to work out?”

             Minnie shrugs. “This is more important. Siwon understands.”

             It’s difficult to not interpret that sentence to mean you’re more important but he tries not to see it that way. He knows Minnie’s soft heart. He knows her loyalty. That’s what this is and why she came when Inyoung called. He needs to keep that in mind.

             “Do you want your present now or later?” She’s got a devious twinkle in her eye that makes Leeteuk let out a nervous laugh. “Hmm, I’ll take that as a later. It’s in my car if you change your mind though.”

             “Why didn’t you bring it in the restaurant?”

             She looks around impishly. “You’ll see. Donghae helped me pick it out… so I guess you could say it’s from the both of us.”

             This piques Leeteuk’s interest. Something from both of them? Minnie isn’t really the type to split a present, preferring to fly solo and take all the credit for her brilliant ideas. He fixates on that one sentence for the rest of the evening, barely able to answer his mother and sister’s incessant questions. Luckily Minnie picks up the slack and enthusiastically explains Super Junior’s comeback concept (something meant to be a secret), what all of the members have been up to, and how well Leeteuk is doing as a leader (one of her favorite talking points in interviews and just everyday life really).

             “Super Junior’s pride and joy.” Minnie tilts her head adorably, hand resting on her neck, eyes turning to crescent moons as she smiles.

             Leeteuk is suddenly brought back to Earth by that statement. “I thought that was you?”

             She rolls her eyes playfully. “And humble as ever.”

             His mother pats his hand. “He could stand to speak up every now and then. Oh, Jimin, when do you think you two will work on another drama? I love the old one but I’m ready for more from the two of you.”

             “I’ve been trying but Jungsoo is against it.” Minnie pouts. “I miss us being together.”

             Leeteuk jumps up suddenly. “I’m going to get some air.”

             Minnie shoves another mouthful of food in her mouth before jumping up and following Leeteuk out of the building. It takes her a while to catch up with his quick strides, but she manages.

             “Teukie! Wait! Your present!” She loops her arm through his when she catches up. “Don’t you want it?”

             He looks around the parking lot. “Where’s your car?”

             She crooks her pointer finger in a follow me motion, not even bothering to turn and make sure he’s actually following. She doesn’t really need to though. She knows the sway of her hips is enough to have him coming after her like a lost puppy.

             “Backseat,” Minnie says as she fishes her keys out of her bag.

             Leeteuk peeks in the back. “I don’t see anything.”

             “You will. Get in.”

             He slides inside, the leather feeling warm even through his clothes. Minnie follows, shutting and locking the door behind her. Leeteuk always feels weirdly safe inside Minnie’s car. The windows are so heavily tinted there’s no possible way anyone can spot them when they’re inside. Not fans. Not press. Not managers. No one. When she first got the car it very quickly became the group’s favorite hiding spot for that very reason. They could just disappear and be in their own little world for a while.

             “I still don’t see anything,” Leeteuk says.

             Minnie slowly unzips the white leather jacket she showed up in, revealing the tiniest pink bralette Leeteuk thinks he’s ever seen. It’s crushed velvet and pushes her breasts together in the most beautiful way it leaves him practically drooling.

             “Now do you see?” She leans in and nips at his bottom lip, one of her hands dropping to his crotch.

             “Fuck.” His head knocks against the headrest and Minnie takes the opportunity to leave lipstick marks all over his exposed neck while her hand works over his swelling cock, teasing him through his shorts. “Princess.”

             She’s missed hearing that word. Especially from her leader. Especially in this context. Just that one little word is enough to leave her needy and whiny, moving to straddle his lap and grind down against him. He pushes her skirt further up her thighs, his thumb rubbing her clit through the white thong she selected especially for his birthday present.

             “Is this my birthday present?” Leeteuk grips her ass, pulling her down to grind on his rock hard erection. “Donghae letting his baby girl act like a little slut?”

             Minnie whimpers. “Just… just wanna thank our leader…”

             “Really?”

             “Yes, daddy.” She buries her fingers in his hair, loving how long and soft the strands feel between her fingers.

             Leeteuk brings their mouths together in a searing kiss. His tongue licks along the seam of her lips, demanding entrance and meeting her own tongue with a fierce satisfaction when he gets his way. Minnie allows him to move her whichever way he desires, listening to him and his body like it’s her only reason for living. She wants to please him. Love him. Make him know how wonderful and perfect he is.

             “I love you,” she pants out when they break away so he can pull his shorts and boxers down.

             “Then prove it.” He pumps his fist over his cock, smearing pre-cum over his shaft. He doesn’t miss the way Minnie’s pupils dilate even further. “Come on, princess. Suck daddy’s cock.”

             Minnie situates herself in the seat beside him, getting on all fours so her knees are on the seat and her elbows rest on his thighs. She teases him for a bit, nipping and licking at his thighs, enjoying the feel of the muscles under her mouth. Leeteuk grips her hair once he grows tired of it and guides her so she’s level with his dick. Her mouth waters of its’ own accord as she takes in the view of his long, thick cock just waiting for attention.

             “Go on, princess.” Leeteuk takes his free hand and flips her skirt up, landing a deliciously painful smack against her ass. He does it again and again. Her skin turns a delicate pink and he just wants to sink his teeth in her flesh. “Hurry up.”

             She nods in a lust filled daze, finally, finally wrapping her lips around his tip. Her tongue traces over his slit, tasting the salty cum. Leetuek bucks his hips up and forces himself further down her throat. She chokes, unwanted tears springing to her eyes at the unexpected movement. The sound is music to his ears and he wants to hear it again. He could listen to her choking on his cock all fucking day if it was possible. What makes this whole situation even better is the fact he’s able to just glance over and see her glistening pussy just begging to be filled. Even through the almost nonexistent panties, Leeteuk can make out the pretty pink of her soaked cunt and it only makes him harder. He twitches in her mouth, a loud moan all but ripping its’ way from his chest.

             Minnie responds to the moan enthusiastically. She bobs her head quicker, adds just a bit more suction. One of her hands grips his base while her mouth moves a bit further south, her tongue poking out to lick experimentally at his balls. Leeteuk jerks at the sensation and pulls her up by her hair. She grabs at his wrist, pain shooting through her scalp.

             “You’ve learned a new trick.” He observes her closely, enjoying the tiny bit of fear that flashes in her eyes.

             “Donghae likes it,” she answers softly. When his grip on her hair tightens she cries out in pain. “Ow, that hurts!”

             Leeteuk hums darkly. “You know what else hurts? I could’ve given you everything Donghae and Heechul did? Every. Fucking. Thing. But you never realized it, did you? I was just a way for you to work out frustration while you were between dick.”

             Minnie’s eyes go wide, tears springing to them suddenly. “What?”

             “It’s fine. It hurts, but it’s fine. I’ll take you however I can get you.”

             “Jungsoo…” She’s at a genuine loss for words. Hearing him being so callously honest… it’s something she expects from Heechul not Leeteuk. Not her Teukie. “It’s not like that.”

             “It’s not? So you aren’t here because your boyfriend gave you permission to fuck me?”

             She shakes her head. “It was my idea. I wanted to do it.”

             “Why?”

             “Because…” Because he’s arguably the best sexual partner she’s ever had and she’s going crazy not getting a taste of him. Because she loves him and the only way she can think to show it, really and truly show it, is with her body. Minnie isn’t good with words but she knows how to use her body. “I love you. I want you to feel as loved and safe as you make everyone else feel. Oppa… none of us deserve you but if I can even do one thing to make you see how much you’re cared for I will.”

             “Jimin.” He strokes her face softly, wiping some of her tears away. “You realize you make no sense, right? You could just buy me a gift if you want to show me how much you care. Write me a letter or send me a text. You don’t have to do all of this.” He gestures to the car, to Minnie’s outfit, to her lewd position.

             “But I want to. Teuk, please, just let me make you feel good.”

             “And then you’ll just go back to Donghae’s bed. Jimin, I can’t do this anymore-”

             “Wait! Before you say anything else let me tell you what your whole present is. Your present… it’s more than just this. It’s me.”

             “What?”

             She sniffs and brushes away the new tears that are falling. “Donghae and I were talking one night about our past relationships. I told him about us. I also told him some things I never even told you or Heechul.”

             “Like what?”

             “Like…” Minnie can’t exactly meet his eyes. “Like I think I fell in love with you a little bit. And it wasn’t just the sex. You made me feel safe and loved and taken care of. I thought I knew how you felt about me and I wasn’t used to that with Heechul. I wasn’t used to that until Donghae.”

             “Why did you never say anything?”

             “I didn’t think you loved me back.”

             Leeteuk runs a hand through his hair and breathes out a heavy sigh. “Minnie, that’s insane. Of course I did.”

             “I didn’t know!”

             “Why do you think I got so pissed when you were going to be Sungmin’s surrogate?”

             “I thought it was from your position as leader!”

             “I wanted that to be my child!” He regrets the words as soon as they come out. “Anyway, isn’t it too late for this conversation? You’ve got Donghae now.”

             Minnie nods. “I do. I’ve never been with someone who loves me as much as he does. Which is why I know this was a hard decision for him. He’s not exactly the jealous type but he wasn’t fond of this idea at first.”

             “What idea?”

             “I think I might still love you. Donghae agreed to let me explore those feelings… if you wanted it. It doesn’t seem like you do though. I’m sorry if I-”

             Leeteuk cuts her off with a kiss. This one is desperate and sad, an attempt to convey everything he can’t possibly put into words.

             “Of course I want it,” he tells her.

[wronqness99]

Loss Pt.3

> About my writing

Genre: Angst, slight comedy (?)

Warnings:  mentions of miscarriage

Word Count: 3502

Characters: Kim Heechul (Super Junior) X Female Reader

Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6;  Part 7; Part 8 - Final

*The image doesn’t belong to me, credits to the owner.*

As soon as Siwon told them Y/N was actually staying at his girlfriend's apartment, Heechul had wanted to go there immediately, being stopped by Siwon and Leeteuk. The men had decided on staying at Donghae's house for the night and going to Dawon's house the next day after lunch.

Eunhyuk, who was passed out drunk, had to be helped to bed by the house owner and Sungmin, thankfully, the others were still able to function on their own. Heechul and Siwon ended up staying together in the living room, as there weren't enough rooms for them all. Heechul could barely believe he had been able to find out  Y/N's whereabouts. He couldn't help but be a bit mad at Siwon for hiding her from him, but he understood. He knew the two were like siblings and that his bandmate would do whatever it took to protect her. Now, when he thought about it, he envied their relationship. Her relationship with all of Super Junior's members, really. She smiled so brightly whenever she was with them... He barely ever saw her smile like that during their two-year relationship and he was aware that it was mainly his fault. He could count by his fingers the amount of times they had actually spent a good time together as a couple. There weren't many. He wanted to make it up to her somehow, however, he knew that was nearly impossible. The damage had already been done and most of it was irreparable.

"How is she?" He asked Siwon while laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. The younger man looked at his hyung.

"She's ok, she's been doing better these days," Siwon stated. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, you're like family to me, but so is she and she needed her time to deal with everything. She was really hurt by everything that happened, Dawon-ie is getting her to leave the house more lately, she's also going back to work in a few days. She's definitely doing better now." He reassures.

"I understand. Thank you for taking care of her." Heechul said truly thankful that Y/N wasn't alone even if it wasn't him by her side. For a second he thought how easy his life would be if he was more like his Siwon and Sungmin. He couldn't be romantic even if his life depended on it. He sighed, wishing Siwon a good night before turning to his side. Hopefully, tomorrow would be a better day.

The next day both men woke up with the sound of heavy footsteps on the upper floor of the house. Siwon was a bit startled by the commotion.

"Does Donghae have an elephant in his house?" Siwon asked still half asleep, with his brows furrowed.

"Well I'm not sure about an elephant but I see a horse right in front of me," Heechul stated referring to the younger man. Siwon pretended to laugh and gave Heechul his middle finger, which made the eldest laugh harder at the feeling of accomplishment. He got up from the couch and made his way upstairs, finding the source of the noise as soon as he reached the bathroom, where Eunhyuk was puking his heart out.

"Ugh, I'll never drink again." He said, causing Heechul and Donghae, who was helping him, to burst out laughing.

"YAH, shhhh!" He demanded, placing his hands on his ears, his head feeling like it was about to burst.

"You always say that, yet here we are again," Donghae stated, poking fun at his friend.

"My head feels like it's gonna explode," Eunhyuk stated, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Well, be more careful next time. Know your limits." Advised Donghae.

"Be a man and handle it." Heechul firmly stated, patting Eunhyuk's back.

"Why do I smell like ramen?" The black haired male asked, standing in front of the mirror. His eyes widened at the sight of yellow-ish goo stuck to his once soft strands.

"What the hell happened last night?" The man questioned surprised by his appearance.

"Oh, this is something I can't miss," Siwon said in a funny tone, leaning against the door frame.

"Don't you remember anything?" Donghae questioned his friend.

"Not really..." Hyukjae answered, running his hand through his hair, a disgusted look on his face as he felt it's texture.

"Well, Yesung hyung might or might not have spat his noodles on you, but it was Heechul hyung's fault." The youngest of the four told his now angry friend.

"How could it have been hyung's fault? He spat on me, that..."

"YAH, respect him, he's still your hyung Lee Hyukjae." Heechul scolded sternly, giving him a warning look.

"What's happening here? Can't a person sleep peacefully in this house?" Yesung appeared in the doorway, staring at the four men sleepily. Eunhyuk shoved Siwon to the side, giving Yesung a death stare. The elder opened his eyes fully as if he hadn't just woken up seconds ago at the sight of the other male's hair. He burst out laughing, causing Leeteuk to come out of the room as well to check on them.

"You little rascal!" Eunhyuk screamed, walking angrily towards his hyung, being stopped by Leeteuk. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU SPIT NOODLES IN MY HAIR?!" He screamed, mad out of his mind.

"Yah, I promise this time it wasn't on purpose... Just this time though, if there's a thing in which I take pride in life is making a fool out of you." Yesung sniggered. Eunhyuk growled, freeing himself from Leeteuk's hold and stomping back to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror once again.

"For your own good it better come off with a shower or you're gonna pay me a haircut! Aish..." He complained, turning to the bathtub.

"Get out so I can take a shower while Donghae fills me in on last night's events," Eunhyuk demanded, starting to take off his clothes. It wasn't weird for them to see each other naked anymore, they had grown too close to be embarrassed. His members left the bathroom and got dressed, going to the kitchen right after.

"Ah, I miss Ryeowook's cooking so much..." Siwon said, playing with his chopsticks after tasting the bland, almost raw noodles Heechul had attempted to cook.

"Does it taste that bad? You guys aren't even that close for you to be saying you miss him." Heechul put some noodles in his mouth only to spit them out seconds later. "I'll order something." He decided, taking the bowls to the sink so he could get rid of their contents.

"No need, I can cook us some fried eggs," Sungmin offered, checking the fridge.

"Yah, hyung, you suck! How could you be so mean?" Eunhyuk questioned rhetorically. After Donghae had recounted last night's events, he couldn't help but be mad.

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all, shut it. I'll go talk things out with her today." The long-haired guy told his dongsaeng, walking back to his sit after cleaning the dishes.

"I'm not gonna let you talk to Y/N alone! I'm going with you." Yesung chimed in, Eunhyuk following suit.

"Yeah, me too!"

"No way, we need to talk privately! Are you guys out of your minds? Have you gone crazy?" Heechul questioned, looking at both men wide-eyed as if they had grown two heads.

"I see where you guys are coming from but, in all honesty, I think they need to solve their problems on their own," Shindong commented, eating some of the fried egg and red peppers Sungmin had served.

"I'm taking him to her anyway so you guys don't need to worry, I'll be there if something happens," Siwon reassured, trying to calm the others down.

"We'll stay with you then, but we're going and that's final." Yesung firmly stated, making Heechul growl, annoyed.

"I don't need babysitters, I'm a grown adult, you know?!" He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, showing his discontentment.

"That's debatable," Leeteuk stated while shoving a piece of fried egg inside his mouth, making his oldest dongsaeng roll his eyes at the statement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe you guys really came," Heechul said, still annoyed, looking at Yesung and Eunhyuk through the rearview mirror.

"We said we would, why would you doubt us?" Yesung questioned his elder who sighed, slumping into the car seat.

"Hyung don't be mad, just focus on the fact that you're getting a chance to try and fix things somehow." Siwon reminded him. "If you go there already annoyed, chances are that instead of making it better you'll ruin it for good. Y/N doesn't need any more weight on her shoulders, she has enough to deal with already." He stated lowly, in a serious tone so the guys on the back couldn't hear. Heechul nodded his head, adjusting himself on the seat. Siwon was right, he had to calm down if he expected things to go well or else it would be just like any other conversation they'd ever had.

As soon as they reached Siwon's girlfriend's house no one dared to move. The car was in silence for a while before Siwon made his voice present.

"Are you ready hyung?" He asked, looking at Heechul's pale face. He was quiet for a while, before looking at the other man and nodding his head slowly. They opened the door and got out of the car walking towards the building. The elevator ride was filled by Yesung and Eunhyuk's bickering about who'd knock on the door. As soon as the doors opened they quickly walked out, tripping over each other, making their way to Dawon's apartment. As they got there, Yesung extended his arm to knock on the door, being pushed by Eunhyuk before he could do so.

"You guys should let hyung be-" Eunhyuk knocked on the door before Siwon could finish his sentence. He sighed and looked at a wide-eyed Heechul. A few seconds after there she was, dressed in her PJ's, hair up in a messy bun. Yesung quickly got up from the floor and ran to hug her.

"Noona!" He happily chanted hugging the girl tightly, making her laugh and hug him back.

"We missed you!" Eunhyuk joined their hug.

"What are you guys doing here? It's been a while..." She broke the hug, looking at both men in front of her with curiosity. They looked at each other and back at her, moving aside, enabling her to lay eyes on her ex. As soon as she saw him her smile dropped. He swallowed hard before taking a few steps towards her. She blinked quickly a few times as if to make sure it wasn't a dream. It wasn't. He was standing right in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. She looked around and spotted Siwon, giving him a death stare, knowing he had been the one to bring the man there.

"Noona, please don't be mad..." He pleaded. "Just listen to what he has to say, yeah? I think you guys need to talk in order to be able to move on." He explained. He was right, and she knew it. "I'll be here if you need me. All three of us will." He said pointing at the other two boys that stood to his side, surprisingly quiet. They nodded in agreement.

"All you have to do is scream, we'll go in and break him in half," Yesung said confidently, being nudged by Siwon. Heechul turned towards him, giving him a displeased look.

"Aish, you little-" Y/N interrupted him, clearing her throat and raising her brow. Heechul looked at her embarrassed, scratching his neck. They all stood in silence for a while. She sighed, moving to the side while holding the door open.

"Come in." She said, turning her back to them and walking inside. Heechul looked at the other three, who encouraged him. He turned to the door and stepped inside, being stopped by Yesung's voice.

"Hyung..." Heechul turned his head, looking at the man. "Please don't hurt her." He begged him. "If there is something I hate more than Hyukjae, it is seeing the ones I love suffering." He stated in a theatrical way, hand in his chest as if he was acting in one of his musicals. Eunhyuk looked at his hyung, offended by his words but didn't dare to open his mouth at such time.

"We'll be here hyung," Siwon stated, rolling his eyes at Yesung's behaviour. The eldest nodded and walked inside finding Y/N sitting on the couch, fidgeting with her fingers. When Y/N noticed his presence she stood up, placing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Did Siwon make you come here?"

"No, I'm here because I wanted to come." He established, trying to make eye contact with her. "I think we need to have a serious conversation."

"Oh, now you do?" She sarcastically remarked. He never had time to talk when they were together at least not to talk to her. Every time she asked him for them to just sit and talk for a while, he always had something else to do or somewhere else to be. After two years and three months, the positions were inverted. The only thing that remained the same was that just like during the two years they were together she still wasn't able to tell him no. "Go on then."

"About that... I'm sorry. I know it's not easy for you to forgive me, I know that it's too late, but I want you to know if I could change some of the things that I did, I would." He stated and for the first time in three months, their eyes met. She could see the truth in his eyes. He stepped closer to her, making her step further away from him. "Are you ever gonna be able to forgive me? Maybe we could be friends?" He asked, unsure.

"How can you ask me this? You told me you didn't love me. Do you think it's easy for me to even be in the same room as someone who avoided and lied to me for as long as you did? If only you had been honest from the start..." She said resentfully.

"I never said that. Those words never left my mouth." He confidently stated.

"They didn't need to." She said, turning her back to him. She walked near to the window and stared outside. He looked at her small frame intently, feeling a weird sensation in his stomach. Was he getting sick? It must be guilt, he thought. Suddenly he missed their little moments, like when her hands ran through his hair and while he pretended to be asleep, it was the only time she dared to do that. She knew he hated it and didn't want to be screamed at for messing his precious hair. Or when she drew imaginary figures on his chest when they cuddled or just lied next to each other, so close he could feel the pleasant wooden scent coming from her. What the hell is happening to me? He wondered, shaking his head in order to get rid of his thoughts. Heechul slowly walked towards the woman and put his hand on her shoulder, making her turn to him, startled.

"How have you been? You know about..." He looked at her belly, unable to finish his sentence. She placed her hand there instinctively, letting it fall down right after.

"Oh... I-I've been coping... Or trying to, at least" She said looking down. She was still sensitive to the topic but she didn't want him to see her cry again. Heechul sighed, it hurt him too. It was his baby as well.

"How crazy would it have been to have a little one running around the place?" He asked, a small smile breaking through his lips at the thought. "He or she would've been loved like crazy." He knew his members, family and friends would've gone crazy over the new baby. But there wasn't a baby to go crazy over anymore.

"I didn't know how much I wanted this baby until I lost it... Knowing that I'll never be able to see his or her little face, that I'll never have a chance to hold our baby in my arms... It kills me." Her voice was wobbly from trying to hold back her tears as she confessed how she truly felt. "Were you ready to be a dad though?" She thought aloud. He hesitantly held her hand, knowing she'd most likely reject his touch. He was surprised when she didn't.

"Maybe I wasn't... But I could have learned. I know I'm a bastard most of the time, but it was my baby too... I would have been there and I would have learned. We would have done it together, me and you. Don't think it was your fault though. Life happens and we have to accept what it has in store for us." She couldn't hold back her tears anymore as she heard those words coming from his mouth. He pulled her towards him, embracing her small frame, arms remaining limp against the sides of her body. His heart skipped a beat as the familiar wooden scent filled his nostrils once again. He rested his chin on top of her head and closed his eyes. He felt his shirt getting wet and his heart sunk, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop her pain. He needed to be honest with her. It was the least he could do. Although he knew there was a chance of him hurting her even more, he also knew that if he didn't say everything he wanted to now, he probably wouldn't get another chance to do so. It was now or never. "About me not loving you..." He started, feeling her body tense against his own. Y/N pulled away from him slightly and looked him in the eyes, afraid of what would come. "You asked for my honesty, I owe you that. I don't think I know what love is. I don't' think I've ever actually loved someone. When Siwon and Sungmin talk about their girlfriends and how deeply in love they are, I can't understand what they mean because I've never felt that way. I don't think I ever loved you, but I liked you a lot. I still do. Even if it doesn't seem that way, you hold a very dear place in my heart. You've handled me and all the crap that being with me involves for two years. I'm not an easy person and I'm certainly not for everyone, but you were always by my side even if I didn't do the same for you. I appreciate it. When we met I remember I couldn't take my eyes off of you, we started dating that day. I think I just got used to your company, to being with you and I ended up making a big mess because our feelings were not the same." He admitted. Y/N moved away from his hold. "Even though things happened this way I would love if you could find it in your heart to forgive me. I would like for us to remain friends." He was expecting her to curse at him, hit him and kick him out from the house, but all she did was nod her head and smile softly, surprising him. She needed to hear those words from him. She needed to be set free.

"Thank you for being honest with me." She said politely, feeling truly thankful for his honesty. "I don't think it will be easy, but we can try to work on a friendship." She assured, looking him in the eye. He felt himself relax as her words reached his ears. Heechul smiled at her. They heard a noise come from the door, making both of their heads move towards the wooden surface. Her eyebrows furrowed as he rolled his eyes, almost sure of what it was. He walked to the door and opened it, making both Yesung and Hyukjae fall inside Dawon's apartment, proving his thoughts that the two had been trying to listen to their conversation to be true. Siwon gave them a disapproving look while Y/N giggled, looking at both men laying on the ground pretending nothing had happened.

"Oh, I missed you guys so much!" She smiled widely, finally feeling able to be herself again. She needed this conversation and for Heechul to be honest with her. She wouldn't regret saying yes to working on a friendship with her ex because cutting ties with him would most likely mean losing contact with his members as well, and she didn't want that. They brought her too much happiness and joy and she loved them too much to let that happen. Things would never be the same, Y/N was aware of that, but with their help, she would eventually be whole again.

She knew she would.

MASTERLIST

[kewltie]

you know what really get me going in regency au it’s that donghae is v much a socialite, he likes going to parties and socializing with people and being the center of attention. that isn’t going to change even with hyukjae around and though he wants to be part of hyukjae’s world of crimes and crime-fightings he’s not going to suddenly running around seoul’s underworld kicking ass and taking names bc that’s not who he is. i think a lot about these two and how they both bare seoul’s ‘image’ like donghae from an esteem noble family, raised in wealth and luxury, and represent all the prosperity and perfect clean image of seoul and then there’s hyukjae street kid, soldier, criminal, and justice/executioner for the empire getting his hands dirty where the empire wouldn’t and how they exist in the same space but are so so different in not only upbringing but their view on the world. 

donghae only had ever known the glittering world of the high society and hyukjae had worked his ass off to get where he is and even then when he managed a clean image of a wealthy merchant he can’t run away from his birth so he dived back down to seoul’s underbelly, serving the crown prince siwon’s interest, and doing things other wouldn’t do bc who wants deal with dead prostitutes or missing street kids except those who live and are raise there. and like donghae definitely want to know more about hyukjae and the place the raised hyukjae but he knows whatever he does he won’t ever be truly a part of it or understand it completely and he doesn’t always like the way hyukjae and allies set out to do (things that easily cross the lines of legality and brutality and murder that sits uncomfortably in his chest but this isn’t the seoul he grew up in). and hyukjae won’t ever feel comfortable at donghae’s social dinners and parties where people trade jab in thinly disguises politeness and people wields word as weapon pointed at each other throat so yea they have their differences def. 

my point is that they’re never going to fully be immerse each other lives/world but they tolerate it for each other (even when it’s new and shy and awkward they still want to understand) and the thing is donghae may be running around seoul and helping hyukjae in one of his many investigation but he’s not going to ever be at ease at holding a gun or pointing a knife at someone’s throat (LITERALLY) and he doesn’t feel like he’s standing toe to toe with hyukjae at first. bc there’s so many things hyukjae’s friends and allies can offer him but donghae isn’t a soldier or a fighter, he’s not super intelligence, and he doesn’t have the kind of connections (not when he’s ostracized after marrying hyukjae for his deep pockets) that can assist hyukjae but the the thing is donghae doesn’t have to change or do anything different. he just has to be himself.

donghae loves dancing and going out and having luncheons and parties and that’s a fact but he’s also an avid reader of books. he has an entire library dedicated to his books and it’s not not exactly a common knowledge but it’s always there--donghae loves dancing, going out and parties and he also loves book. that’s just the way it is and donghae think it’s anything significant about that fact but with just being himself he manages to do things others couldn’t for hyukjae. like hyukjae’s spy networks is truly impressive and deeply rooted but it takes a lot of time and effort to get bits and pieces of information and it’s really dangerous for everyone in involve yet donghae can easily get these information with just a careful probe and a slip of the tongue. 

so like every sunday’s afternoon without fail donghae goes out and meets up with his social club for tea. what others don’t know is that it’s actually more like a book club than anything but it’s kind of hush hush thing, where everybody think they’re having a tea party and gossip instead of ya know they’re discussing things that aren’t proper while catching up on their reading (affairs, scandals, secrets, etc). it’s like fight club for high society except instead of the usual fisticuffs it’s just ladies/gents reading books too salacious and inflammatory for public viewing. most of the time they’re just reading trashy porn romance books that ladies and gents of modest upbringing shouldn’t be reading but sometimes they read essays and banned books of people who offer controversial view points and aim to stir up the public unrest. these members are second/third/last sons/daughters and mistresses and wives and people that aren’t necessary important in their household but are attached to key political, high ranking member of high society (ears, dukes, governor. ministers, etc) and they have their ears and confidants and in this book club where everything can be talk in out in the open and they can dump their woes and problems and their camaraderie and where social class/hierarchy and expectation doesn’t exists, these men and women feel comfortable to talk about things that wouldn’t be able to share anywhere else. 

so donghae’s social/book club is the center of information network of seoul’s high society and even though his reputation been ruined for being a ‘gold digging hussy’, in the book club it doesn’t matter bc what happen at book club stay in book club and what’s going out there doesn’t effect their circle, so donghae still keep his prominent standing as a founding member and he’s a key figure in the circle (he also writes some salacious content for them bc secret trashy romance novelists!donghae gives me pure joy) so he’s privy to A LOT OF INFORMATION that normal people or even spies take a v v long time to get but donghae just ask and carefully coaxes the information out of them. so in his own ways donghae help hyukjae tremendously when back info to hyukjae, not always since it’s /book club/ there’s a vow of secrecy and brother/sisterhood there, and he play mediator b/t hyukjae and that person of interest in his book club and he’s not doing anything different but it’s significant in his own way and by being who he is he changes everything. 

what i really is that they have their differences and they don’t fully have to accept/understand each other world and that there’s no need for grand gesture on either side bc love isn’t always about display of grand gestures but small things and donghae’s small and insignificant action of going to his book club every sunday afternoon is a ripple that effect all of seoul. but it’s not like there’s not change in them at all like who they are as a whole is the same person but donghae being around hyukjae starts to see the crack in his perfect world (how he would have turned up his nose on slums of seoul and the ppl that inhabit them and saw them as others and their issues and problems lesser than his own) and it becomes unignorable now. it’s not just other ppl problem but it’s also hyukjae and now his problem too bc these people are hyukjae’s people so they’re his also. 

basically donghae’s sunday afternoon book club is srs bsn and saves the world (or at least seoul)!!!!!!!!!!