#he thought playing the main character would not come with any consequences

[kat-shii]

His wisdom dropped after that. /j

Forever LOLing at leanders green eye shines. Like u have got to have fucked urself up at a fundamental level for that

[wild-fern21]

Paring: Voice actor!reader x Ollie Bearman

Synopsis: Ollie had always supported his girlfriend in her dreams so when she started voice acting in game he decided to make a series of it on twitch for his veiwer's to enjoy or three Ollie Bearman played his girlfriends games on stream.

Warnings: This is my first fic, I don't really know where I was going with this but yeah, if you have any tips or critiques please let me know, thank you for reading.

When you and Ollie started dating, Ollie took it upon himself to watch all the shows you were in. He couldn’t be prouder of his girlfriend but she had stepped away from shows and gone into to video games. Her more recent games were all in the more darker category. Which Ollie himself was to afraid to go though alone. So when one of his friends suggested making a stream out of it he couldn’t deny it. 

Until Dawn (remastered)

Your first video game was called Until dawn you play a character named Ashley, she is one of the eight main characters in the game, so Ollie thought he would give it a go, not wanting to spoil the game for himself he kept away from the trailers and any media to do with the game. 

As he played though the game eventually you came and sat next to him causing chat to go wild. As he made his way though the chapters he grew strong opinions on certain characters (Chris) and got attached to characters (Ashley). 

He had made it to chapter nine and so far had killed Jessica in the fourth character by not taking the shortcut causing the wendigo to tear her jaw off, and Chris who he swears he did by accident. (you knew it was on purpose by the tone of his voice). Now he was playing as Ashley in chapter nine.

You knew what was coming up and tried to keep the smile off your face as he got to the deciding options. 

“What should I do?” Ollie asked looking at you as he noticed your smile. “What are you smiling at?” he added with a nervous laugh following.

“It’s up to you?” You say hiding your face in you knees, so he couldn’t see you face.

“No, no don’t do that." He shook his head as you kept silent. He turned your chair so your body was facing him, you look up to him smiling. “Can you give me a hint?” you shook you head, Ollie let out a sigh and looked at his streams chat.

They were a mixture between going to look for the voice or joining the group. “I guess I should pick” He spoke as he moved the controller to the option to ‘investigate voice’ as soon as it had been selected, you move your chair closer to his.

Ollie turns his head “What? Was the wrong choice?” he asked looking back and forth from your face and the screen. As he walks down the path slowly trying to ready himself for what was to come. He walks over to the trapdoor which he had to open. He looks at your face which is badly concealing a smile at what was to come.

Ollie watched the screen ignoring chat he let out a sigh of relief when nothing was seen “What were-” the sentence was interrupted by his own yell he let out a staring of no’s as he watched in game you get her neck twisted. 

His face turned pale when as he watched your body land on the floor as Ashley’s head get thrown to the floor he turns to face you, he grabs the arm of your chair then dragging the chair till it was right next to him. 

Then he wrapped his arms around your waist hiding his face in the junction between you shoulder and neck, “You didn’t warn me” He whined. Chat was freaking out at the cute moment they were witnessing.

“It’s a horror game the whole point is to be scared” you pointed out, Ollie shook his head his curls tickling your neck. 

The two of you stayed like that for a few more minutes, until Ollie pulled away as he went back to the game he made sure to keep a hold of your hand for the rest of the game.

2. Detroit become human 

The next game Ollie wanted to play was similar to Until dawn in the way your choices have consequences. After Until Dawn, Ollie was determined to keep your character alive. Your character, Kara was one of the androids. Your character served another character named Todd and had a daughter figure named Alice.

Ollie decided against streaming this game just wanting to spend time with you, to relax and not have to worry about entertaining an audience, he had you sitting in between his legs leaning against his chest so he head could comfortably rest his head on top of yours. His arms were wrapped around your middle so he could hold the controller and you at the same time. The position made you feel safe as you could hear him muttering the options he could make under your breath.

As Ollie went though the game his hatred for Todd grew. But he was also worried that if he had the option to kill Todd it may end up killing Kara. Which Ollie swore that he wouldn't do.

As Ollie managed to get Kara and Alice out of the house and on to the bus, you could hear his heart beating faster, so you leaned your head up and placed a gentle kiss to the bottom of his jaw, before going back to watching the game.

He had successfully made it to chapter thirteen. He had managed to keep Kara and Alice alive, you watched as Kara and Alice ran into the highway. Ollie though not new to gaming was horrible when it came to QTE’s. So after he failed almost all of them you realized what was bout to show on screen.

You and Ollie both watched as Connor ran onto the road and grab Kara’s arm and try to restrain her, you watched as he managed to fail one QTE but save the other, though it was no way that would save your character.

“Watch out Kara” Alice in game yelled as your character got hit by a bus, Ollie let out an annoyed huff, he had some how managed to kill you again. Then he watched as Alice ran onto the road as the scene changed Ollie moved his head to your ear.

“You need to stop acting as character’s who die, I don’t think my heart can take it” he whispered, you let out a small laugh in reply shaking your head as you stood up.

“Or your just bad at these types of games” You tell him teasingly.

3. The Last Of Us II

The next (and last) game Ollie played of yours was The Last Of Us, he decided to make a series out of streaming it. Your character Abby was one of the protagonists, by this point in time Ollie was some what use to dying as Abby, he knew he wasn’t the best at keeping any character alive.

So as you sat in your shared room watching his streams on the tv, you couldn't help but shake your head as he complained about killing Abby again. The viewer's continuously made fun of the young driver at the amount of time he had died during this one section.

He had eventually called you into the room claiming you were his good luck charm, when really he just missed you. As Ollie got though another fight (barley) he turned to you with a giant smile on his face.

“I did it” he said while putting his hands up in celebration. At this point he was ignoring the cut scene which was happening right behind him. Your smile widened as he opened his arms offering you a spot on his lap, you gratefully took it.

You watched as Ollie continued to progress though the game laughing every time he died much like his viewer's. After Ollie failed to kill a clicker that was chasing him he looked at you playfully annoyed as you laughed.

“If your gonna laugh, then you have to play” he said handing the controller over to the you.

“No, It’s your stream you have to play” You spoke pushing the controlled back while letting out a small laugh.

“No, no if your going to sit there and laugh then you have a go” He told you a fake serious tone. 

You shook your head in disagreement but still grabbed the remote deciding to have a shot yourself at the game.

[somerandomdudelmao]

Ok, so, some marble sky thoughts? Character analysis? Whatever this is! 

I think the only reason that both Oscar and Ward are still alive is because Oscar was left to his own devices with the marmors. 

There are several contributing factors to this thought, but I think it boils down to two main factors: friendliness (towards the marmors), and morality.

First point: as far as i can tell, Oscar genuinely cares about Ecliptica to some extent. My example is when he clubbed that teegardian–the look on his face, and how fast he reacted, suggest that he reacted on gut instinct because Ecliptica was in danger, not that he had a cunning plan to make himself look better. As well as the fact that he genuinely seems to enjoy being around her, and voluntarily spends time with her–I think that this has convinced (some) of the marmors that Oscar is trustworthy, or at the very least not a threat.

On the other hand, Ward has shown that so far at least, he does not like or trust any of the marmors. Now I certainly can’t blame him for that, but it doesn’t do much towards gaining him any favor in the marmor’s eyes (or, sensor things).

My next point is that Ward seems to have a very strong moral code, and acts according to that code regardless of consequences, which restricts him in a way that Oscar doesn’t seem to be restricted. With the teegardian situation, I think Ward would either have straight up refused to be a hunting dog, or tried to help the teegardians, resulting in getting himself killed. 

On the other hand, Oscar, by playing along with the marmors and siding against the teegardians, managed to get into good enough graces with Ecliptica to be able to help Ward (and Holly). Now, I don't think Oscar lacks a moral code, or is trying to be evil or anything–I think he is doing everything he can to protect the people he cares about, and to stay alive. So far, he’s been pretty darn effective too. I also can’t blame him for prioritizing his life, and the life of his friend, over those of complete strangers, especially in such a morally gray area of how intelligent of a species is it ok to eat, and how to define intelligence at all. 

Oscar seems to be doing whatever he feels he needs to in order to keep himself and the people he cares about alive, regardless of “right” and “wrong”. 

Ward also seems to want to keep them both alive, but in contrast he is very attached to his idea of morality, defending what he believes to be right, and fighting against what he believes is wrong.

Because of this, I think Ward and Oscar would have (and probably will in the future) come into conflict because of their different ways of doing things, potentially really messing up each other’s various plans and ideas, in ways that are not conducive towards staying alive and/or friends. 

Also, unrelated theory, Ward is absolutely about to polymorph into an alien cyborg bc of whatever it was that Sculptor did to him

OH THIS

THIS IS SOME REALLY INTERESTING THOUGHTS RIGHT HERE >:D

[palmastrings]

Solomon and Levi play Beat saber

For @ificouldbringyouback

@obeymeholidayexchange

The song used for this is called "Crazzee Boi". Feel free to listen to that

-------------------------------------------

Solomon, for the first time in a while, had finally gotten a day off this weekend that wasn't saturated in RAD homework or cleaning up the messes of his demonic or angelic neighbors. Usually, on days like this, he'd resign himself to some cooking, maybe some magical research or experiments, challenging Thirteen to a ‘friendly’ game over his life candle, or simply enjoying the weather, perhaps in the human world. Solomon laid back in bed, musing over the potential activities he could schedule for the day. What did it matter? He had all day to think about it, no need to rush. Solomon fumbled with his DDD, reaching out for it in the darkness of his room. 

It was only 7 am.

 Solomon smiled and tucked himself under his covers, safe from the colder air of his room, and gently placed his DDD back on his nightstand humming a song of sleep to himself.

No sooner had he done that, his DDD rang incessantly.

Solomon reached back for his device to be met with Leviathan's name and his hilariously assigned profile picture of his stressed face while losing a game of chess to Solomon – a game that Leviathan had challenged him to. Picking up the phone, he answered.

“Hello?”

“Solomon, hey! I'm kinda impressed you answered, tbh. You never really seemed like the morning-type to me. Uh, anyways, glad you picked up. You aren't busy today, right?”

Solomon thought for a moment. “You've actually caught me on one of my off days, so yeah, I can make some time. What is it you need?”

“Can you head over here in a few hours? I'll tell you why once you get here.”

 And with that, Levi hung up. Solomon wasn't sure why Levi would withhold the reason for requesting his company unless Levi felt like Solomon would disapprove in any other situation. He’d humor him, though. 

Solomon rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stretched. His body made a plethora of back-breaking sounds that any person would find very squeamish to hear. Ah, the consequences of old age. He started his shower cold, brushed out his white hair with less care than Asmo would approve of, and dressed in more casual clothes than he would normally find himself wearing on a busy day. By the time he cooked and served himself his signature breakfast of his secret ingredient red pancakes and aged, burn-to-a-crisp mini griffin eggs, the time had come for him to head out and meet Levi.

Oddly enough, he found Levi waiting for him at the main entrance of the House of Lamentation. Levi wore uncharacteristically athletic clothing with an anime-themed headband around his forehead, his bangs hiding whatever character was featured on it. Solomon kinda hoped he wasn't going to run some recreational marathon with Levi. His poor old man bones cant take it. He'd been spending a lot of time at his desk rather than in the great outdoors. Maybe the impending dread of what this could be is a sign for him to get back into shape. Ah, well, at least he’d last longer than Levi in a run.

Levi waved Solomon over. As Solomon approached, Levi handed him a device in each hand.

“I can't believe you made it! I was beginning to doubt you would really make the time to meet me, of all people, here on your day off. You truly are a real one, Solomon.”

“Ahaha, you flatter me, Leviathan, I really don't mind at all. But what am I doing here exactly?”

“Well, I'm so glad you asked, Solomon. I invited you here because one of the games I've been playing recently got a new DLC update, and in order to get all of the achievements, I needed another player.”

“Super, but, out of curiosity, why me?” Solomon asked. “I'm sure your brothers would be just as available to play with you.”

“That's why you're different. I called upon you, The Wise King Solomon, for your magical prowess and efficiency!” Levi exclaimed.

“As per usual,” he sighed. “So, what are we playing?”

Levi held up his PC that he had also brought out with him, featuring the title screen ‘Beat Slayer’.

“Isn't it supposed to be Beat Saber?” Solomon inquired.

“What?”

“Never mind.” It seems the Devildom has its own version of human games.

Levi spoke again, “Okay, so the rules are pretty simple. You're gonna hold two sabers in your hands. Music will play in the background while little demonic cubes with teeth fly at you following the rhythm of the music,”

“Wait, wha-”

“You also need to dodge the walls and avoid hitting the bombs. It's pretty self-explanatory. Oh, and you also gain bonus points if you imbue magic into your attacks when the beat drops. Got it? Great!” Levi then proceeded to hand Solomon some enchanted glasses, then ran over to his PC to set things up.

“Aren't there supposed to be VR headsets? What's with these glasses?”

Levi replied while still facing the laptop. “Uh, no? Those glasses are just for setting up the background. It's aesthetic. By the way, I'm putting this on extra hard mode so just be aware you might actually get hurt when doing this.”

“They're real?”

“On any other difficulty they would be illusions, but I need this achievement on the highest difficulty so the game actually summons creatures to fight, walls, etcetera.”

“That sounds like a liability concern.”

“It's Hell, nobody really does that here lol.”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Solomon slipped on the glasses as Levi prepared to start, equipped with his own sabers.

It was a magical sight to behold, which says a lot seeing how much Solomon had witnessed. The world glowed an ethereal purple hue, slowly beating to a non-rhythm. Beams of light danced aimlessly, without music to follow. Two yellow sabers illuminated in his hand like bars of gold. Mammon had probably used these before him. 

He knew he was still in the front yard of the House of Lamentation, but here, the world felt otherworldly, an open plane of soft light swimming across his field of vision.

“Ready?” Levi asked.

“Ready as I'll ever be for my first try.” Solomon smiled.

Oh I think you're crazy Can't have my love

The first cube came, and, as Levi foretold, came fast with a row of awaiting teeth. Solomon struck through it and followed a line of light so he could slash the second one and the few that came after it. Levi, beside him, moved in sync, their movements mimicking each other.

Oh I think you're crazy Can't have my heart So crazy boy

This didn't seem so terrible, Solomon noted. Not that the thought would last for long, as off in the distance, a barrage of attacks came hurling towards the both of them.

Mohm eh buhl tah oleui nun Guh ttam that fire Mah-eum jahkoo ttulyuh suh Geh sok olyuh higher Ee tah go boh yuh jool soo in nun b boi swag You think you got it but boy I got it like that

“Bonus points, Solomon, get ready!” Levi called. 

Solomon turned to face Levi. Levi stood there with his arms reeled back. His eyes under his glasses glowed orange, with an aura that Solomon could only recognize when Levi was feeling super intense. Looking back at Levi’s saber, Solomon noticed splashes of water appearing out of the air.

 ‘Right, Levi commands the sea, so it makes sense that most of his spells would be water-related’.

 Although that brought the drawback of Solomon's magic being slightly weaker near the presence of the ocean. He figured he’d be fine. Solomon readied himself, feeling the familiar spark of magic in the palms of his hands. He squeezed the handle of his sabers tightly. Finally, when the cubes came close enough, the two were in sync as they struck down. From his peripheral vision, Solomon could see a wave of water follow Levi’s swing, and it effortlessly carved the cube in twain. Solomon followed suit, a glimmer of silver light echoed in his slash. This was a lot more fun than he expected going into this. A side step to the left, and a wall sped by him. 

While most people would be content to brush Levi off for his deemed “childish” hobbies, there was real value in the games he played, whether that be the stories they tell, or the competitive fire that set ablaze in his bones. Something was always new when you visited Levi, it's a shame that Levi tended not to see these qualities in himself like others have.

Myuh ppun ee ruhn mahl hae yah dweh nun deh Turn it up, listen up (okay)

A bomb raced down the path, and the sorcerer only had a second to react and move out of the way. It just barely grazed his hair before it blew up a few feet behind him. The bombs were terribly sensitive. The flames of the explosion didn't touch him though. When he turned back, a wall of water created a barrier between the detonation and Solomon. While Solomon wasn't necessarily worried about the explosion to begin with – he always walks around with a protective spell on him for any and all occasions – he was grateful for Levi's quick reaction time. He turned to him, and they both gave each other a mutual nod of thanks. The music continued playing. Slash 1, 2, 3 cubes, sidestep the wall, avoid the 1, 2, 3 bombs. The lightshow around them beat brighter and faster with the music, and the aimless rays of light from earlier finally moved with purpose.

 Muhn chah boneh ji mah I'm sick and tired of you blowing up My jeonhwa cchok pal ee ji doh an hae Ee tah go boh yuh jool soo in nun play boi swag You think you got it no boy I got it like that

Solomon could feel the sweat gather around his neck. If Levi had told him he’d be so active, he wouldn't have worn a turtleneck. Levi, meanwhile, seemed great. As unathletic as he is, the desire to earn this achievement outclassed his need to stay confined to the comfort and safety of his room. He was actually quite elated to be able to do something like this with someone who seemed to match his own vigor at wanting to win this game. Levi called the dormant magic within him, it bubbled out and came crashing down in walls of water, decimating anything that came to him with a single, clean stroke. Likewise, Solomon put the strength of 1,000 years of sorcery into his own strikes.

As the song neared its end, they kept up the pressure; it became harder to keep up the pace. A cube almost bit a chunk out of Levi’s shoulder if Solomon had not stabbed it, and at this point, the explosions became a constant every few seconds as the music sped up faster. Until finally…

Oh I think you're crazy Can't have my love Oh I think you're crazy Can't have my heart So crazy boy Oh I think you're crazy Can't have my love Oh I think you're crazy Can't have my heart So crazy boy

Together, calling upon the final burst of magic they had, they struck the final cube right down the middle as it burst into sparks as it passed behind them. They both heaved for breath. Solomon wiped the sweat that had accumulated on his face, while Levi almost collapsed on the ground. Levi slipped off his glasses and made his way to his PC. He cheered gleefully at whatever was on his screen. Solomon could only assume it was his newest achievement. He found himself smiling with Levi too. For being a totally unplanned event, this day off ended up being an irreplaceable memory. The little things like this are what made Solomon's life truly worth living to its fullest. He wouldn't have it any other way.

[toffeebrews]

eughhh sleepiness is taking over must write about inky boy. ink sans is by @/comyet

i think upon reanalyzing some asks and the FAQ i have begun to understand how inks err emotions work a little better. a bunch of this is me kinda theorizing sooo yeah. it's not as uhh clear as my other rants are

His emotions aren't really "fake". at least my definition of fake. He still feels.

Instead, their main struggle is to balance and understand his emotions. Like in this ask:

So, he can definitely have quote on quote "normal relationships" with other people

One day you may ask him and he'll be like yeah i care about them alot and the next he doesn't feel very attached at all. As i interpreted "not making sense" as to not understanding why or how he even cares for these people. It seems really dependent on his internal emotional balance. The pretending comes in to play where he may exaggerate or lie about his emotions. Perhaps because he himself wants to have these attachments. Or because he wants to spare others feelings.

more yappage under the cut

According to his FAQ, he realizes his soullessness is an advantage (and theres not any realistic/non morally dubious means to obtain one) and wouldn't change that. However, i don't believe he is completely content with some of the drawbacks. He feels the need to hide his soullessness, as indicated in his design notes. But it "shows through". He feels the need to "pretend to have a soul" -from his backstory comic. This may be because he feels insecure in some way. believing his own emotions are less than others. Or his feelings are invalid or fake because he doesn't have a soul. Or at the very least not as real as others. Because he doesn't feel emotions the way others do, it must be wrong. Because hes chaotic neutral, i don't think these are things others contributed to his line of thought. Rather, something hes internalized himself. not that he would ever tell anyone that.

He may also hide this fact not the freak people out. Man does enjoy a bit of mischief, but it probably be kinda hard to work with other people if you have a large chance they may be scared of/don't trust you. I also think he doesn't actually want to like...petrify people. Which i would imagine many monsters would struggle, if they knew. given what people may assume of him. Or at least that's what he thinks ig shsksh.

Given he fears loneliness i think both of these reasons may contribute. He doesn't want people to abandon him. abandonment issues caused by trauma he can't remember.

But he can definitely feel extremes as well. being "overexcited" so much so he forgets consequences. He vomits up ink when shocked or overly passionate. I didn't expand on this as much because i feel like others have explained better than i ever could.

as his FAQ indicates his emotions can be separate from his morality. so its not necessarily contradictory for him to have these big emotions but still have uhh ig a more neutral way of looking at things. ig

btw this post was inspired from this analysis!! i tried to add my own spin on my commentary

[virginiathegray]

On Hardened Companions

I've seen some people wishing that Veilguard had more options to harden a character besides just Lucanis or Neve, so some thoughts: Firstly, I had this opinion while I was playing as well, so I absolutely see the appeal and why this belief occurs. However, after thinking about it more, I don't think it would have worked.

When I started thinking about how each companion could end up hardened, I went down the list and tried to figure out what plot-relevant things might achieve this...and I just kept coming up with events that already happen at the end of each companion quest.

Telling Harding to lean into her anger over the loss of the Titans? Making Emmrich a lich? Lucanis choosing to imprison his cousin even if Traviso was saved? Neve becoming Dock Town's Batman even if Minrathous is still standing? You get the idea.

Those seem like the more "hardened" options for those characters, but...are they? The whole point of those choices (to me) is that they are nuanced and don't have one right answer. Including a mechanic to incentivize one choice over another feels like it misses the point of why the choice is there.

I could go on about this forever, but ultimately let's move forward with the assumption that tying a hardened status to the companion quests would be dissatisfying and we're better off without it. If any other characters can be hardened, it has to come from the main story quests (as they did in the Traviso/Minrathous choice)

And I...can't really think of any?

I mean, I can, they just aren't very good. You could let the Dalish be sacrificed during the Venatori rally near the end of Act 2 and harden Bellara. I'm sure we could do something messed up regarding one of the many dragons in the game that pisses Taash off. Rook could tell Davin after Weisshaput that he's right actually, and he really SHOULD have died! Harding's could...involve the ritual site somehow? If we're a jerk about it or tell her to shut up about her powers? I don't know. I can't even begin to think of what main quest story could upset Emmrich to the point of being hardened, though. Peepaw's here for a good time.

Every above option teeters dangerously close to a total character assassination of Rook, in my view. These are not things Rook, in any of their many forms, would do. And truthfully, these things shouldn't make a companion hardened, they should make a companion leave your party. And that's not what this game is about.

Now, if you're one of those folks who wanted to be able to play evil, that's fine! There are games out there that will suit you better than this one. But at that point we get into the larger argument of what a Dragon Age game even is, and how playing an evil asshole was never actually on the table in the first place. If your script doctoring of the game involves a total rewrite that lets you kill Assan or kick Manfred in the shins, we might be at the juncture where we admit that this game isn't for you, and that's ok! Rook is not the protagonist you're looking for. They're a hero. Inexperienced and out of their depth, but a hero all the same. They will never knowingly make the choice to be cruel, which is why the sacrifices they DO make hit harder.

All this to say, the hardened feature works for Neve and Lucanis. It's fun that our choice of which city to save has consequences, and I empathize with the desire to have more of this mechanic in the game. I just...don't actually think the idea holds water once we dive into the narrative implications of implementing the mechanic on a wider scale. Rook DOES make many choices that affect the companions, but their effects aren't so easily spelled out as "softened or hardened" and tbh the game is all the better for it.

[drspencereidshairtie]

Season Four of The Umbrella Academy was really really something for me because I had disliked lila since the very second they first introduced her. I remember being actively relieved when the show confirmed my suspicions about her, because i had felt a bit bad at first for judging her for no tangible reason.

I never really warmed up to her, in fact i actively hated her by the end of season two (which only went on to get 50x worse in season three with the whole he's our son / just kidding / whoops he's dead / haha im pregnant by the way thing) and then of course season four happened.

I actually almost kinda liked mom!lila. I was like oh, she can be human. She CAN be likeable. Maybe, just maybe, she's not a monster. I liked her new dynamic with Diego, and i enjoyed seeing her being a stressed, caring, normal mom and having a mundane life...for about two seconds. Then the whole 'book club / not book club / let him think I'm CHEATING on him' thing happened, and i was swiftly reminded that there was a reason i didn't like Lila.

Then she gets a power. It was actually a chance for her to be interesting and have character growth beyond just being a mom and wife. They could have used her to show what it's like when marigold interacts with someone who's never before had powers; they could have had some kind of fun training montage, like they did with Klaus and Reginald in season three when he discovered his immortality; and they SHOULD have done something of consequence with it, like having her accidentally hurt someone, or damage something important, idfk but, like, literally fucking anything!!!????!!!!???!!!!??? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Instead, they just gave her stupid useless eye lasers that she uses about three times, can't control at all, and never comes up again. And it feels like they did it because they knew Lila was a weak character that couldn't stand on her own without the context of the rest of the umbrella academy, so they had to kinda 'even out the playing field' somewhat, even if it defied any and all logic and reason.*

Which, in my case at least, was an unfortunate choice. The one thing I'd actually somewhat liked about Lila was that, despite her personality and history, she was, for all intents and purposes, just an average human. I like seeing regular people in shows about abnormal folk. They give a nice context to the chaos, even if they too are 'chaotic' characters, you know?

Just when I thought she couldn't get worse.........well. I don't think i have to explain what happened. It was so much worse because Five had always been one of my favourite characters and OH MY GOD,,,,,,, HE WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER DO THAT! HE WOULD NOT DO THAT???? And you know I'm not just saying that in a delusional 'i know him better than the writers do' fan way, because pretty much everyone is in agreement.

He LITERALLY would not fucking do that. ESPECIALLY with Lila, who he's always disliked at best and actively tried to KILL at worst, and especially not now that she's his BROTHER'S WIFE and not to mention the MOTHER OF HIS BROTHER'S CHILDREN????

Anyway, that was my final nail. I no longer just hated Lila and passively wished she hadn't been added to the show, I wanted her dead. I wanted her to be killed off, or have something happen where five returned to the correct timeline but Lila couldn't for some reason, I just wanted her gone and SOON. I think it was probably what killed season four for most people, not just me. I think that if Lila had never existed, or at least hadn't made it to season four, or hadn't gone with five and................

If that hadn't happened, I think it could have been salvageable, even despite the one million and one problems with the season.

TL;DR: I genuinely, truly, deeply believe that the main issue with season four of the umbrella academy was the overarching existence of one 'Lila Pitts.'

(Don't even get me started on her almost jeopardising everything at the last moment in the final episode. I almost broke something in sheer frustration, because OH MY GOD we literally don't have time for this the world is ending infinitely and your life is not more important than the life of a single slug muchless the lives of BILLIONS of people- deep breaths, dustyn. Deep breaths.)

[vasito-de-leche]

Ooooh, just saw your Self Aware!6 and I love how you portrayed him! You mentioned that he can hear the player, but not see them, right?

What if 6 encounters a player who has him as their favorite character (yk putting him as the main character in the interface), hearing them gushing about how 6 looks so handsome and how they prefer him over 37 and the people at Apeiron, mumbling about how he doesn't deserve the trouble, and actually rooting for him reading his event story? Basically just talking about him, unaware that 6 could actually hear them.

Anyways, I'll let you cook <3

;R1999 6 - Self-Aware AU (2)

Compilation of headcanons about how a self-aware 6 would react to a Player who gushes over him. Related to this Self-Aware AU post.

ty for your ask, nonnie! sorry if this isnt what you were hoping for, I cant exactly see a character like 6 enjoying this sort of treatment!

Right away, I think this sort of thing would make 6 extremely uncomfortable.

We know how he feels about receiving attention or being on the spotlight, how he prefers to stay by the sidelines and only put himself out there when others need mediation or whenever his people require him to play the role of leader--so to have a voice constantly praising and gushing over him would be really tiring. 6 is the type of person who enjoys--perhaps it's better to say that he needs--time alone, with nothing but his thoughts and some peace and quiet, after all.

Is this, somehow, his unchecked ego? Are these his own deepest thoughts manifesting as a voice coming from above, muddling the truth? No, that can't be. 6 knows that his self-esteem and opinion on himself is much more humble than this.

Once he finds out about the existence of the Player, he grows even more confused. Or rather, a bit more timid now that he knows you're watching over him, scrutinizing and observing each and every gesture, every little thing he says. He's your favorite character for reasons he cannot even fathom--not due to a sense of inferiority or inadequacy, but genuine confusion. Did he mess up somewhere? He's not supposed to receive this much attention beyond his contributions to the main story.

I think 6 would be indifferent to any comments about his appearance. His entire bloodline is praised for their unique complexion, this isn't new at all. Comments about how the Player prefers him over 37 or the people of Apeiron--HIS people, HIS community--wouldn't sit well with him, since they're people he cherishes and considers important, even if he keeps his distance from them.

Overall, treating him like this and putting him on a pedestal just further enforces those themes of isolation from the previous post, so to speak!

A much younger 6 would've definitely appreciated the support, to have someone in his corner, especially after losing his aunt to the Revelation. But I like to think that 6 as he is right now is mature enough to recognize the importance of everyone else's points of views. He, more than anyone, understands that he had his faults and that his actions should have consequences, and his humble and pacifist side would also lead him to defend the actions of others, such as 210, despite the previous tension between them. There's a reason his number represents harmony!

And because he represents harmony and perfection, I think he would just tolerate this for a long time. He's spent years in isolation, he's had people talk at him about things he cannot find himself to care about--this is no trouble at all. 6 would simply sit there, or go on about his day as you ramble about him. But I can see him wishing to be turned into a painting in the main screen as often as possible, just for a moment of reprieve.

The more you praise him, the less he talks.

For 6 to truly listen what you have to say, you'll have to talk about something that isn't him. He is curious, especially when he catches you murmuring about other things, such as your next strategy to win this UTTU Special Week, or complaining about the lack of materials to level up others.

I think what 6 would like the most is catching glimpses of the life you lead when you're not focusing on the game, when you complain about responsibilities and how eager you are to unwind by playing the game, when your pet interrupts and you stop playing to shower it with attention and love... These small, fleeting flashes of who you are when no one else is around. Aside from this, he would also love to hear your opinion on the events of the game, without this obvious favoritism for him--what do you think of the allegory of the cave? Do you ever wonder about your soul number?

These are the things that would get 6 to slowly warm up to the idea of the Player watching over him, that would get him to speak back to you one day, on impulse or on purpose. And only once 6 sees you as more than a distant voice, when you finally bond with him in a more meaningful way, perhaps your praise will actually mean something to him. Perhaps he will thank you directly with a small smile, perhaps he will ask you to explain why you feel so strongly about him, genuinely curious about your point of view.

But in the mean time, silence is a virtue.

[oodlyenough]

apollo justice: ace attorney thoughts

over the weekend I finished playing AA4 so I wanted to try to put my thoughts in order. much to think about etc

spoilers for the whole game obv, but i haven't played AA5 or AA6 yet so any mention of those are speculation lol

I had heard some pretty mixed reactions to AA4 and I had a lot of reservations going in. It's also probably the AA game I've played that I've been the most spoiled for, which is a shame but probably an unavoidable consequence of waiting for the port while engaging with the fandom. I don't usually like being spoiled but I think knowing the broad strokes of what to expect actually helped here. I can imagine an AU where I blitzed through the first trilogy and onto 4 with no idea of what was coming and being... very upset and disappointed by the direction it took. Having several months to brace for things like Phoenix's disbarment, the 7 year gap, Trucy, etc definitely softened those blows and made me more amenable to them than I would've been otherwise.

Cases

For the most part I thought the puzzle solving was good and the pacing was solid. The puzzles were mostly challenging enough to be satisfying to solve but not so challenging as to be infuriating, and I don't think I needed a walkthrough at all. 4-1 is one of the best tutorial cases in the franchise so far (though I'd give the edge to 3-1) and 4-4 was a really cool finale. The middle two cases tbh I also found fairly charming, and there's usually a least one case in the middle that seems to drag forever, so that was a pleasant surprise. I played Investigations 1 right before this, and I thought both the puzzles and pacing in that game were frankly horrible, so AA4 won a lot of points just with that.

I did think Turnabout Corner and Serenade would be more relevant in the grand scheme of things. The half-spoilers I knew had me expecting a much bigger web of conspriacy than we ended up with -- I expected it to be more than coincidence that Phoenix got hit by a car, more than coincidence that the Borginian egg coccoons are related to poison etc ... like... I fully assumed this was going to tie into the atroquinine plot. But I guess not ... ? Lol

Characters

The new main cast are all very likable, despite my initial reluctance to have a new main cast to begin with. Klavier was an interesting change of pace as prosecutor, in that he wasn't particularly antagonistic outside of the court, nor was he particularly preoccupied with winning, but he was still fun and challenging enough to face off against. Trucy was fun and delightfully bonkers as all assistants should be. Apollo's longsuffering exasperation was hilarious. Ema is the BEST I loved having her as the detective I wish she was there all the time.

I loved Beanix, for the most part. I can see why he rubs some people the wrong way, and tbh I'm glad his last canon outing isn't ... this. But I didn't find him wildly out of character, or at least, when he was feeling "out of character" vs the trilogy it made sense given the intervening events. I also thought it was fun to see him from the outside and see what a galaxybrain 5d chess master he is. I do wish we'd gotten to see more genuine moments of him with Trucy.

Kristoph was fun as a villain, though I have to say fandom led me to believe he was much more of a mastermind puppeteer than he seemed to be in reality. I was expecting a whole decade worth of conspiracies! Instead he fucked up once and struggled to fix it for seven years, lol. I also found the Kristoph/Phoenix relationship a) very fascinating, b) not really what I'd been led to believe by fandom (shocker). I like the canon more though -- I like that instead of being a retread of the Dollie betrayal-from-someone-you-love it was two guys who hate each other being forced to play nice as part of their own schemes.

Criticism

I think it's fairly obvious AA4 was meant to be a soft reboot of the series, to pivot away from the trilogy cast and set up our new heroes in Apollo, Trucy, and I guess Klavier. I think this is probably the entire explanation behind Maya and Edgeworth (and others but lbr those are the big two)'s conspicuous absence... but that doesn't make their absence any less conspicuous. I can squint and forgive neither of them being there when Phoenix is accused of murder, even though I find that insane. I can squint around Maya maybe being off in Kurain during the Enigmar trial, even though I think they could've used a line of dialogue to explain it. But then we started playing past-Phoenix for huge portions of investigation and that started to fall apart for me. Sure, maybe he's pushing his friends away because he's depressed, or maybe he wants to keep Maya out of things because he thinks it's dangerous, or whatever -- you could at least throw in a line or two saying as much. Not mentioning them at all and setting AA4 so closely after AA3, where Phoenix fell through a bridge to save Maya and Edgeworth chartered a private jet, just feels ridiculous.

I also think, at the end of the day, the story here was focused on and pivoting around Phoenix. The core question of the game is "what the hell happened to/is up with Phoenix Wright?" I love Phoenix, so that alone isn't a negative -- except that I think it meant Apollo, Klavier and even Trucy felt underwritten. Trucy and Klavier have such personal stakes in the unfolding events with the Gramaryes and Kristoph, but we only spend a little time and hints on how that might influence Trucy, who mostly falls into the AA weird girl pattern of brushing off major trauma instantly. (Maya got this a lot too in the original trilogy.)

Klavier ... I like Klavier, but they did not do much with him. How did he feel about Kristoph going to jail? He doesn't seem to hold it against Apollo, which is uh, noble, but perhaps not believable. He says he values honesty and truth but do we know why?

Apollo, likable as he was, felt like a passenger in his "own" game, rather than a major character. He doesn't even solve much of the stuff happening in the big overarching mystery -- he is Phoenix's avatar in court, presenting evidence and clues Phoenix left for him. Unlike Trucy and Klavier, who I am pretty sure take a back seat from now on, I guess Apollo still has two more games to try and flesh himself out ... lol but I also know fan reception of those two is not great, so my expectations there are minimal.

Overall

A really solid game that I enjoyed playing, though I can see why it's controversial and not some people's favourite, if they really loved the trilogy. I think it's debatable whether this was the best/only way to continue the series after AA3. And I am excited to read and write a billion 7 year gap fics now.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I actually thought that Adrien and Gabriel's relationship seemed like it might have been possible to salvage in the early seasons. What do you think?

@tallwriter Starting a new post since this one was getting super long as this is a different topic.

The problem with Gabriel Agreste's character is that they very clearly wanted to write a sympathetic villain - you can tell that from how the show handles his death - but sympathetic villains don't work if you make them cartoonishly evil. You have to handle the situation with nuance and delicacy, especially when one of the main heroes is the villain's son.

Gorizilla is not a perfect episode by any means, but it does showcase how Gabriel should have been written if they wanted him to come across as complex and sympathetic. In that episode, Gabe thinks that Adrien is Chat Noir and, because there's no way to magically force Adrien to reveal himself or confess his secrets, Gabriel has to come up with a situation where Adrien would be forced to transform of his own free will (since that can't be overwritten with a ring or something crazy like that). Which is how we get Adrien hurtling to his death while his father looks on:

Adrien: Always! (jumps out of Gorizilla's hand, and over the side of the building) Yeah-ha! Hawk Moth:(from his lair) No! ... Hawk Moth:(from his lair) If indeed you are Cat Noir, then transform, son. Please. (Adrien continues to fall downward, resolutely remaining as he is) Come on, son! (Ladybug looks down at Adrien, then raises her head, eyes closed.) Ladybug: Cat Noir, help!! Hawk Moth:(from his lair, to Gorizilla) Drop Ladybug!

This is good writing. Yes, Gabe's plan was kind of dumb (you live with Adrien, dude, just bug his room), but if we accept that this was the only way to go about a forced reveal - and that does seem to be the writer's logic - then we see a situation where Gabriel put his son above winning. A situation where he's still very much the villain, but he's not a dastardly, cold-hearted one. He does love his son.

There are actually several of these moments in the first three seasons. Some involve Adrien and many more involve Nathalie. It's why season five's claim that Gabe put beating Ladybug above everything else rings hollow. He never actually did that outside of Evolution (S5E1). He's almost always been loved-ones first when it really counts, a thing that Ladybug uses against him in the final when she tries to crush Emilie. The whole "Ladybug obsession" thing truly feels like something they just made up for that one episode to justify Nathalie "turning sides" aka doing nothing useful beyond maintaining the status quo (hey, they needed someone to keep the senti plot from having consequences and it wasn't like she was doing anything useful anyway!)

The problem is that this "loved ones first" mentality is only used for big dramatic moments, often as a way to keep Gabriel from winning. It's not Gabriel's main characterization even though it needed to be if you want season five's ending to feel even remotely earned. Going into that ending, we should have all thought that Gabe was a messed up dude who truly did love his son. And, if Gorizilla, Style Queen, and Ladybug had all been examples of his standard characterization, then we would have thought that.

But that's not who the writers told us Gabe was.

Instead, his standard characterization paints him as petty, controlling, and manipulative. Which is wild because there was no reason to do that! Gabe could - and should - have been played as stern and removed, but generally loving when he's outside of the mask. In other words, Gabriel Agreste could be well liked while Hawk Moth was hated.

The crazy thing is that this is such a simple change to make. You either removed the episodes where Gabe's awful parenting is the source of the conflict (ex: Bubbler) or you just make a few minor changes to show that he's conflicted about his actions.

For example, take Chat Blanc, the episode that ruined so many elements of this show! In that episode, Gabe is a total bastard. He happily sacrifices his son's happiness to make an akuma in the form of Marinette and then, when Adrien's secret is revealed, does Gabe have any sort of conflict about traumatizing his son? The kind of conflict we'd expect after episodes like Gorizilla? Nope! He straight up delights in showing Adrien Emilie's... corpse? Comatose form? Whatever! Gabe then akumatizes Adrien with a smile on his face.

That gets the writers a solid F for consistent characterization. It's why I highlighted "almost" in red when I mentioned Gabe's motivation. Because in Ephemeral and Chat Blanc, the writing ignores the sympathetic stuff that characterizes the dramatic moments and goes straight for the worst-father-of-the-year, love-to-hate-him, please-let-him-die-now characterization that we get in most episodes.

If you were writing Chat Blanc's Gabriel to fit his intended complex, sympathetic mold, then you would probably drop the breakup plot or you'd have spent all season setting Marinette up as the perfect akuma target, changing the breakup into something that Gabriel felt that he HAD to do instead of opportunistic evilness. You'd also have Gabe drop a line like, "I'm sorry, Adrien. You'll thank me later" before the Chat Blanc akumatization. Or at least don't have him grinning! Do something, ANYTHING to show that Gabe sees using his son like this as a necessary evil and not a fun time! You know, like how he was begging Adrien to transform during Gorizilla? Almost like Gabe had stopped caring about winning and started just wanting his son to live.

Would these changes make Gabe less of a fun cartoon villain? Yes, but that's the point. Cartoon villains are cartoony. They're over the top. They have no nuance. Sympathetic villains don't work with those characteristics.

The normal way to get around this in a cartoon setting is to have secondary antagonists who can be played as cartoonishly evil. And, confusingly, Miraculous has those characters. Chloe, Sabrina, and Lila have been here since season one (Kim could also have stayed a bully and been added to that list, but he's not a teenage girl, so I get why they didn't do that /s.) Felix has been around since seasons three. Nathalie has been an active villain since season two. Any or all of these characters could be the cartoonish, nuance-less villain while Gabriel stays sympathetic.

Instead, they play Gabe however they want to play him in any given episode, making it so that he's impossible to understand from an audience perspective. I personally like the sympathetic take and think that those are the show's best episodes because I like complex villains. It's even how I write Gabe in my stuff because I go for less cartoony takes on canon.

I don't think a redemption was needed, but a sympathetic villain doesn't require one. All that term means is that you can understand the villain and be sympathetic to their plight. Redemption is optional. In fact, the goal is often not redemption, but an understand that, "there but for the grace of the gods go I." I mean, we've all lost loved ones. Wouldn't the power to bring a loved one back tempt you, too?

If they wanted to go for evil, cartoony Gabe, then they needed to drop all of the complexity and go for a Disney villain type character who gets a Disney villain death a la Scar or Mother Gothel. Don't give Gabe the wish. Let him fall to his own hubris by falling into the water of his secret layer and lading as a puddle of ash while a sad Ladybug looks on, having just failed to save him.

If you want to see an excellent look at how cartoon Gabe could have worked, then I highly recommend @zoe-oneesama's Scarlet Lady comic, which is just nearing its end after a multi-year run. I think it's fair to say that Zoe and I largely agree on canon's flaws, she just fixes them by leaning into the cartoon side of things, creating a hilarious story with lots of heart. Canon could have absolutely gone that way too and worked out wonderfully! The issue is not a lack of nuance, it's that they tried to add nuance without ever fully committing to it, making a story that is the worst of both worlds. While a more serious nuanced reboot would be my ideal dream, a reboot that scraps all of Gabe's nuance and just makes him go full evil would be just as satisfying and Zoe proves that.

[aihoshiino]

So I actually only just found out that OnK ended and I think I only read up to where S1 of the anime finished, so imagine my horror when I learned that not only did AquaRu happen (technically? I know there was a kiss, at least), but that Aqua dies after coming up with what's probably the stupidest plan I've ever heard of. I'm going off of this from the wiki, btw, so feel free to correct me if I'm missing anything, but I thought this story was going to be a critique on the entertainment industry mixed in with a "catch the killer" plot when I first started, yet it just looks like nobody learned anything by the end of it and the villain's defeat was underwhelming.

Good news! AquRuby did not really happen.

Bad news! AquRuby did not really happen.

Honestly, to this day, I have no idea wtf Akasaka was cooking when it came to the AquRuby stuff... my best guess is that because Oshi no Ko was influenced pretty strongly by Mengo's past works & Aka was trying to emulate some elements of it (to good effect, sometimes!) the AquRuby stuff was inserted to appeal to her and it actually playing out on page was them being like "lalala, playing with our toys" and wasn't ever something the two of them took really seriously.

By coincidence I ended up rambling about this off tumblr the other day, so I'll just grab what I said and slap it here so I'm not just repeating myself;

I'm gonna be so real, I don't think an AquRuby ending was ever something anybody on the series including Mengo ever took all that seriously as a direction the series was going to take. Despite what a lot of people will try and tell you, Ruby and her relationship with Aqua were just never really written remotely in the sort of way you would build up your endgame heroine. Prior to 123 it wasn't really something the series tabled in any meaningful way and even past 123, Ruby's apparent attraction to Aqua is largely just played as shallow brocon gag fodder. It's only when the manga talks about her love for Gorou that it takes her remotely seriously and even then that's dropped like a rock past 150 and never addressed again. The biggest red flag for me though is that the series never actually addresses the concept of incest in the context of Aqua and Ruby's relationship. It is the one big major roadblock to a hypothetical romance between them but the roadblock that is actually, textually floated by the narrative is Gorou and Sarina's past life age gap which is, as Ruby repeatedly asserts, no longer an issue. It's honestly bizarre to see a series have a whole ass subplot about a character falling in love with their blood related twin and pursuing it to the point of forcing a kiss on them and just... never ever address the concept of incest??? It ends up feeling kind of deliberate - like, Akasaka knew that the second the obstacle that is the social taboo of incest came up on-panel it would be the death knell for being able to shiptease AquRuby (and thus, get clicks and attention from hyping it up for better or worse). So we get the... whatever the hell he was cooking that happened on page.

[In response to a comment asserting that Ruby was "absolutely written as the main heroine" as refutation to the above;]

When I say that Ruby was not built up as the main/endgame heroine, I mean moreso in the sense that for over half of the manga, she and Aqua just... don't really have a relationship that is given weight and consequence in the story in comparison to their individual relationships to the other characters. Even before the story was seriously teasing the idea of a romance between them this was always a point of critique in the fandom - hell, if you go back and read comments on it from around 2022 onwards, Ruby's sidelining and the lack of meat to her and Aqua's relationship is always something people have (imo, rightfully) had issue with. And like, sure, maybe Akasaka just wanted her status as the final/true heroine to be a surprise but even if that's what he was going for, there were tons of opportunities in the first 120+ chapters of the manga to properly sow those seeds. I know this is The low hanging fruit to point at and I know we're all aware that Aka deliberately orchestrated this moment to make sure Aqua and Ruby wouldn't discover each other's past identities before he decided it wanted to happen, but it's still characterization that Aka chose to put on the page and informs Aqua's character - Akane and Ruby found a literal dead body and instead of checking in on his sister, Aqua chose to spend time with (and kiss!) Akane. It would've been extremely easy to include Ruby more prominently in moments like chapter 68 when Aqua thinks about living a normal life free of revenge, or when Gorou confronts him in 65 about his 'happy life filled with love'. Even in the anime which makes a point of emphasizing Ruby more in Aqua's 'happy memory' montage from chapter 50's material fails to do this. Or hell, maybe even have it be a point of conflict during the AquAka 'real dating' period, that he ends up prioritizing Ruby more than Akane to a degree that it causes conflict in the relationship and clearly betrays where his real feelings lie. But none of that really happens. Hell, even after 123, Aqua and Ruby still barely interact and all the newfound intensity in that relationship comes primarily from Ruby doing brocon gag bits every time they make eye contact. Even the kiss is difficult to really take seriously because it has absolutely zero impact on Aqua and Ruby both individually and as a duo. It does not affect any change in the series whatsoever to the point where I legit don't even know whether it's been retconned out of continuity or not. That just doesn't feel to me like a 'main heroine' whose feelings and relationship to the main character are being taken seriously by the author. That's why the whole "btw i was reincarnated to be ruby's attack dog them kms" resolution at the end of the series feels so jarring and would have done with or without any AquRuby ship teasing. It was the story trying to cash cheques vis-a-vis the twins' relationship it hadn't bothered to write.

[anakinsafterlife]

Thoughts on Dune Part 2

All right, friends. Dune Part 2. I absolutely picked the wrong time to start wanting to return to Tumblr, since I'm currently in the thick of Ramadan, but c'est la vie. I'm a bit worried that if I don't review now that I might forget my specific impressions of the movie, though I have to say that if this weren't Ramadan that I absolutely would be going back to see it again in the cinema, which says a lot considering that it's been at least ten years since I've actually wanted to go back and repeat a film instead of just waiting for it to come out on streaming/DVD.

So the movie is good. It is in fact very, very good. It's the Empire Strikes Back of the Dune duology (possibly trilogy), and (much like Empire) in terms of cinematography, music, scripting and acting it's nearly flawless. There are, however, issues, things that might not occur to a majority-Western audience but which are immediately clear to anyone who either comes from an Arab or Muslim background.

What follows here is a deep dive into some of the historical and cultural sources of Dune and some of the ways in which the movie producers, and in some cases fans, have failed to acknowledge those sources.

First of all, it's obvious that the Fremen are meant to be based on the Arabs, but of the the entire main cast there is only ONE actor with an Arab background, and that is Souhaila Yacoub, the half-Tunisian actress who plays Shishakli, the female Fremen warrior who is executed by the Harkonnens. Now, I have to say that this woman was fantastic. Her attitude is completely on point for an Arab, especially a North African Arab: forceful, loud, a bit brash and mocking even under fire. Nicely done. Points to the producers there, but I have to take that point away again because she is literally the only Space Arab who is actually Arab. Javier Bardem, the Spanish actor who plays Stilgard, does have some interesting moments and one of the reasons why I feel that the screenwriters were advised on Arabic traditions/culture. The incident during which he warns Paul about the Jinn in the desert like it's a joke but then immediately turns extremely serious when Paul starts smiling is so in character for an Arab and honestly just a brilliant bit of scripting, but much of the time he also acted more or less like what people *think* a fanatical religious Arab acts like--loud, frantic and unstable.

Not only this, but the "Muslim" behaviour/traditions in the film are at best...vague. People are praying, but in any direction at all. I do realize that this would be a complicated issue on another planet, where the Ka'aba couldn't be pointed to, but there are Islamic rulings for EVERYTHING. Check out the one about praying in space:

Even if they had as a society simply picked a random direction for prayer, they should all be praying at the same time and in the same direction (they seem to do this in larger crowds, but not in the smaller group where we first see people praying). They also definitely shouldn't be talking during prayer or trying to make other people talk to them during prayer (as Chani does), since talking breaks your prayer and you have to start over all over again (during obligatory prayers).

Language, too, is an issue, and a big one, because while I do understand that a conlang was developed for use in this movie, the linguists consulted did know that the language was meant to be heavily influenced by Arabic. Consequently, they've included a lot of fragmentary Arabic in their work. Unfortunately this Arabic is poorly pronounced at best, to the point where I was looking words up and laughing at what they're meant to be based on. For example, "Shai Hulud," the word for the Worms, is based on the Arabicشيء خلود, which means "immortal thing," and should be pronounced with "shai" rhyming with "say" followed by a glottal stop, and the 'h' in "Hulood" is actually a guttural sound like the infamous "ch" in Bach, followed by a long U. Another example is Mua'dib مهذب , a real word in Arabic that means "teacher," but is is actually pronounced with a "th" sound instead of a d and emphasis on the second syllable, not on the last as in French. (Note: I made an error here. There is a word مؤدب , pronounced mostly the same in the movie, but with a glottal stop after the 'u' sound and a short 'i' after the d sound rather than a long vowel, that is usually used to mean polite, urbane, gentlemanly, etc. but which can also mean teacher, although I have never heard it used in this context) "Usul", أصول, Paul's other Fremen name, was likely not, as I had previously guessed, based on the word "Rasool," meaning Prophet, but on أصول الفقه the Principles of islamic Jurisprudence, which also ties directly into a religious/prophetic them. Again, this is pronounced on the long vowel, so with a short first U and a long second U.

I've included the Arabic spellings in here, by the way, so that you can drop them into Google translator and hear how they actually sound.

Now, I do realize that the story itself is set 8000 years in the future and that spoken Arabic as a language would have changed considerably in that time, if it existed still at all, but Arabic is a liturgical language as well as a vehicle for conversation, and Muslims all across the world today use it as a tool for worship. Muslims who have no cultural connection with Arabic often still learn it in order to connect more deeply with religious traditions and simply to perform prayers and other religious duties. Religious scholars consider it to be a necessary duty of the Muslim to learn at least some Arabic:

And keep in mind that the Arabic spoken today across the MENA region is very different (and different in different places) to the Arabic spoken 1400 years ago by the Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him). Given Islamic traditions, the chances of the Fremen using liturgical/classical Arabic for their worship would be quite high, even if their spoken language had evolved past the point of being recognizably Arabic.

Keep in mind, also, that Dune as a whole is an allegory for colonialism, economic exploitation of poorer nations (or making rival nations poor through the same), as well as dehumanization of the views and needs of native peoples in order to make that exploitation palatable to the occupying forces (I thought that this was done quite smartly in Jessica's part of the story; although she is sympathetic to the Fremen, she feels that manipulating their religious traditions is the best way to protect her son, and in doing so she allows herself to dehumanize the people who come to rely on her).

It is, therefore, incumbent upon us not to distance ourselves too much from the intended message by claiming that Dune is fiction and need not too accurately reflect the culture and religion of the people that the Fremen are so clearly based on. The fact that the producers have done little to hire Arab actors or induced any real effort to accurately pronounce the Arabic words or accurately portrayal Islamic practices seems to indicate that they are concerned about identifying too closely with the economic and cultural struggle between East and West, properly because they fear the potential economic backlash, and this despite the fact that Frank Herbert clearly wrote his book to illustrate the fallout of that struggle.

Here is a wonderful article written by a culturally Arab woman:

There are numerous other articles addressing the same issues, but I like this one because it's written by a Muslim woman, who also addresses the "hijab cosplaying" in the movie. I didn't get into that much, but I definitely recognize that it's a problem when Muslim women worry about potential violence while wearing hijab in the streets of Western nations, but the same article of clothing is fetishized in movies and fashion.

I've also seen some comment about the Mahdi mention in particular. This is a saviour-figure in Islam who will come near the end of the world. There is no emphasis on this figure in Sunni Islam, but Shias seem to have a significant body of literature concerning this figure and, from what I understand, believe that he may perhaps have already come, and so there has been some poor reception in that community to applying the label of Mahdi to Paul. Criticisms ranging from insensitivity to outright blasphemy have been levelled regarding this usage. Now, there was some tip-toeing around the prophetic theme in Dune, and rightly so, I believe, since the Prophet Mohamed is the "seal of the prophets" in Islam, meaning the last and final. The fact that Paul was essentially set up as a false prophet by the Bene Gesserit does avoid some of the potential fallout from this, and also makes sense of Chani's rejection at the end of the film, since she felt strongly about Paul acting as a false Prophet.

Again, I am aware that there is internal cosmology within the series itself, and that some fans object to the religion of the Fremen being referred to as Islam, but when the inspiration for the entire ethnicity, religion, and the natural resources at stake are as clear as they are in this series, it's also futile to expect that people will not draw those associations, nor that people belonging to the religion or ethnic group in question may not acknowledge the beauty of the movie, the gorgeous cinematography, rousing music, and tightly plotted story, but still take exception to what is clearly Orientalism.

And it is frankly such a shame that we have to place this movie under that header, because the story of Dune is so sympathetic to the Middle East and its peoples, and as I said in the beginning I actually loved the film and found it very beautiful. It was also exciting to see Islamic themes used creatively in mainstream media, but while Frank Herbert clearly wrote the story as an exposition on the exploitation of natural resources, particularly oil, in the MENA region, the truth is that the racism and exploitation that he was protesting are very much alive today and contribute to the oppression of millions. It's particularly disappointing to see the message of the movie sail over the heads of people watching it when Arab Muslims in Palestine are being dehumanized and obliterated at this very moment, and while Libya was one of the latest Arab nations to be targeted for its oil resources, only a decade ago, with European oil companies moving in directly after the downfall of Ghadafi (which makes the timing extremely suspicious, one might say):

And even after the US finished their occupation of Iraq, Western oil companies remained en mass to continued drilling:

Egypt to this day remains economically destabilized while Western nations exploit its oil stocks, to no benefit at all of its peoples:

I'm sure I could cite dozens of other cases, but it's clear that there is a one-on-one parallel between spice melange and oil, making any protests of apoliticism in an inherently political story utterly vain.

I could go on, but I needn't. In short, this beautiful movie could have done so much good even beyond its obvious artistic merits, but instead it is still towing the political line. Much as was the case for Jessica and Paul, sometimes you can be a Harkonnen and not know it.

[kannymaei]

Eloping With The General - Prologue (Jing Yuan x Reader)

MASTERLIST

Author's Note: I haven't finished most of the main quests in HSR so everything will or might not be true to the story. Some characters may be OOC and this is not canon to anything <3 (Also new fic woohoo?)

Synopsis: The stars had crossed the paths of the future general of Xianzhou Luofu and a girl that originated from another universe through a meteor crash. While Xianzhou Luofu suffers the consequences of the curse of immortality, Jing Yuan has kept you imprison in his room for a long time before fate separates you for a long time.

Word Count: 1.2k

Next Chapter -> Chapter 1

Roughly 2000 years ago...

A young Jing Yuan was having trouble sleeping but he couldn't sneak out outside due to the fact that he'd be punished by Jing Liu for staying up late at night so he decided to star gaze on his balcony instead and no one could see him. 

A very bright shooting star caught his eyes. He was fixated on the star that he began to doubt it was a star but rather a meteor. 

The moment the meteor landed it caused quite an earthquake that awoke the people in Xianzhou Luofu but people assumed that it was just a normal shaking in their land. No one could have thought that it was a meteor.

Except that Jing Yuan knew that it was a meteor, so he jumped from his balcony and ran towards the direction of that meteor due to his curiosity getting the best of him. 

---

After a few minutes, Jing Yuan saw a very odd shaped meteor. It has an oblong shape and the stone was smooth, it doesn't even look like stone, it's like porcelain with a jade in the middle. 

He thought of how something like that would fall here? He decided to check it out and touched the jade. 

Something happened, the so-called meteor had opened and revealed something... Rather someone.

Now Playing: Lia - One 

When I saw you for the first time, I knew you were the one.

Smoke came out from the meteor and it opened slowly, you slowly opened your eyes to see a boy of your age who's on his back crawling away slowly from you. 

You didn't say a word to me, but love was in the air.

What Jing Yuan saw was a girl with foreign clothing, she wasn't wearing any kind of slippers to cover her feet. 

"Hello!" Jing Yuan said but he was frozen because your beauty was nowhere near the beauty of the world he was living in. 

You were just staring at him, barely understanding whatever comes from this boy's mouth but based on his gestures, it seemed like he was trying to introduce himself to you. 

"Ah let me cover your feet so it won't get dirty" Jing Yuan tore off his clothing and wrapped it around your feet and ankles. 

When you held my hand, and pulled me into your world. 

You felt his touch on your hand, and began showing you around the meteor area.

From then on my life has changed for good, now I'll never feel lonely again because you are in my life. 

Jing Yuan wasn't a good liar. A few years have passed by and he has kept you inside his room for quite a long time. He realized that he can't have you running around the city because you don't belong there in the first place and he was scared that you might get executed. 

Nevertheless, the two of you never shared a verbal conversation and he has assumed that you might be mute but in reality you aren't. You just listened to him as he taught you their language but you never attempted starting a conversation with him. 

Love, how can I explain to you the way I feel inside when I think of you. 

Jing Yuan can’t help but to worry about you because he left you inside his room for training. He wondered what he would do if they ever found out that he was keeping a lady of unknown species that may be possibly a threat to everyone. 

You gazed upon the windows of his room to see people running around, selling buns and other sweets. It was very different from the world that you originally came from, it was rather peaceful and not chaotic. You can’t help but think about him and what kind of training he does.

I thank you for everything that you showed me, don't you ever forget that I love you. 

Jing Yuan always brings something home to show you such as a mechanical bird, a special breed of flowers, and sometimes he brings home snacks to eat with you. Jing Liu and the others have been suspicious why he was buying food that is more than for himself and he can’t bring himself to tell that it was for you.

He was still young to realize that he was already attached to you.

Love, I know that someday, real soon. You'll be right next to me. 

Jing Yuan had a dream that someday, the citizens would accept your presence and you would no longer be considered a threat.

Holding me so tight so I will always be yours. 

Jing Yuan brought you to a secret and special place where you could admire the entire beauty of the city. Only people with such high status like him are permitted

Although we can't be together now, remember I am here for you when I know you're there for me. 

"H-hey… this might sound weird but-" Young Jing Yuan blushes as he was about to confess his feelings for you until multiple mara-stuck cloud knights began to surround two of you.

He immediately brought his sword out and told you to stand on his back as he'd attempt to protect you and make you run away to escape.

You knew that you can't leave him, if it's someone who needs to be protected, it has to be him and not you. 

Whenever I long to be with you, I just close my eyes and pretend you're here. 

You could tell that Jing Yuan was really scared facing these many enemies as he was still very young and was not used to fights like this.

"I'll p-protect you okay! D-don't worry-" Jing Yuan breathed heavily, cold sweat began running down his cheeks.

He looked back and saw that you were not on his side.

The Mara-stuck soldiers began to charge all at once to him and Jing Yuan was terrified, fear clouded his mind as he didn't know what's the next step he should do.

I see you, I touch you, I feel you, like real. 

A bright light came on, shooting one of the Mara-stuck soldiers that was about to stab and curse Jing Yuan, throwing it off-field. 

He looked at the direction where the light came from.

Nothing can ever change what I feel inside. 

"The eyes were a threat to the void" For the first time in so many years, Jing Yuan has heard your loving and soft voice. 

You aligned your hand against the soldiers as blinding light began to surround the entire area, the soldiers were stunned as light envelopes them completely and it was the last thing that Jing Yuan saw.

How long must I be far away from you? 

10 hours later. 

Jing Yuan woke up to see several soldiers around him were cured from the curse of Mara. 

He was very happy now that he knew there was a cure for mara.

He was glad that he wasn't cursed. 

But one thing bothered him. 

You were nowhere to be found.

I don't know dear but, I know we are one. 

Centuries have passed and Jing Yuan is finally the general of the city. 

He kept on reminiscing the days he had as a child, the days he had with you. 

He was very afraid of the day he'd forget what you look like because he had already forgotten what your voice sounds like. 

He is very afraid that these precious memories of him with you are starting to blur. 

Until one fateful day, the brightest star lands on Xianzhou Luofu once again. 

[autumnmobile12]

This was the only time in the show where one of the main trio interacted with one of the forge master duo.

And, I gotta admit, this was one of the things that disappointed me in the show.  As much as I love this series, I do wish these two storylines had converged in the end.

Like I really thought there would come a point when the vampire sisters invaded Wallachia and Sypha and Trevor would encounter Hector and realize he was an unwilling participant.  Similar to the scene we got with Isaac, Hector would say he couldn’t help them because of the blood ring restraining him.  And with all the fighting they’d been through and Trevor just being straight up done with everyone and their mother, I think he would have just handed Hector a knife and said, “You have two options.  You’re either our ally or our enemy.  Cut that ring off and help us or I’ll kill you.  What’ll it be?”  Harsh perhaps, but a big part of Trevor’s character is ‘do what’s necessary’ no matter the personal cost, so I don’t imagine he would have had much patience for Hector.  And that’s a difference between Trevor and Hector’s characters that I really need to go into in a separate character analysis.

This was my outlook when Season 3 ended though.  We did leave off with the return of Trevor’s dark view of the world in spite of the positive influence Sypha brought, and Hector realizing the consequences of trusting Lenore.  The series played Season 4 off pretty well in that Hector did have initiative was actively conspiring behind the scenes in order to give Isaac the opening he needed to take out Carmilla.  So I’m glad they didn’t write Hector off as ‘the helpless one.’

On another couple of notes, I kinda thought/hoped Sypha’s grandfather would make a reappearance in the final season and he would be the one to finish what the Ship Captain started in guiding Isaac along his journey of letting go of his anger and just living well, but that’s just me.

Back in Season 2, Isaac refers to Alucard as a spoiled child, and I really want to know what that was all about.  In the battle against the Generals and the Styrian soldiers, Isaac and Alucard seem to recognize each other, but did they have any interaction with each other before Lisa died?  Maybe I’m wrong and Isaac just thought, ‘There’s only one person that could be.’  I’ve talked about my theory that Alucard was a sheltered child and hadn’t seen much hardship in his life before his mother was killed, so I can see him and Isaac resenting each other out of emotional immaturity.  It would have been interesting to see that development in their characters.

But I get it.  The show only had a limited number of episodes and didn’t have time for all the tiny nuanced story arcs, and that’s fine.  An important element of writing is being aware of which parts are the essential and which are ones you need to cut.  If it were a longer running series like Avatar: The Last Airbender, then I would expect some more attention and care put into the subplots and side characters.  It’s a little touch and go with Striga and Morana’s relationship, Zamfir’s backstory wasn’t as developed as it could have been, and there are other elements that felt rushed.

Even so, I truly think the end result was fantastic.

[hsslilly-blog]

Thinking about HuntClaire. I like it when Hunt tells Claire he's "all in" (quest 5; First Date). I think it's an important moment to their relationship, and it's something that defines it. It's interesting especially when you take Claire's character in consideration. Here is my essay under the cut. It is very long, sorry!

Before anything: in my timeline for Hollywood U, quest 5/“First Date” takes place in Jan/15, so around 6 months have passed since “On the Hunt”.

As I've written before, Claire spent her entire life with a distorted view of love. This led her into less than ideal situations (this one included). She has deep rooted self-esteem issues she's not aware of, she just knows she thinks she's not worth... "it" ("it" = always being a self-destructive gesture, risking "something"; she destroys herself to prove herself, so the other must too). This has much to do with how she first established "love" with her parents. Attention is love! Claire believes the people she's in relationships with will, inevitably, lose interest in her; and she believes this, because she truly thinks there's something extremely off-putting about herself. And she's much better as an idealised concept than a person. People don't like her naturally, so she must make them love her.

And, see, Claire has a terrible death drive: she's stuck in a cycle that will cause her pain; she's always pursued relationships with men that will not give her what she wants, which in turn will reaffirm her beliefs about herself, which will make her look for assurance from other people. It is through these relationships that Claire tries to find this feeling of worthiness: her main deal is trying to shift the power imbalance between her and her partners (because there always is one), and most of the time it comes through the simple act of these men crossing boundaries to be with her. Giving her attention when they should not be giving her any.

So, Claire saw her therapist as something to be conquered. Would her parents' divorce lawyer muddle the waters to be with her? Would this guy mess up his campaign plans just so he can go on a few dates with her? Yes, probably. But they're not committed to her: they also see her as something to be conquered, a fling. There is not much thought put into Claire, or into the relationship as a whole. No consideration for consequences. Claire is something. For Claire, this is not empowering, this is self-destructive behaviour. And when time comes, these men leave her and blame her for their ruin.

This is all part of her characterisation as a perceived femme fatale. "Perceived" because Claire does not do this out of malice. This is not conscious behaviour; at least it's not something Claire realises she's doing when she's doing it. I will return to this later.

Okay, well. Hunt checks all the boxes, right. He's her professor and by God, he does not want to cross any boundaries. This guy literally runs away from Claire in more than one occasion. Unfortunately for him, this is a dream come true to her. This does not play like in canon; like I said, Claire doesn't do this out of malice. She just sees a man who does not esteem her, and this is outrageous to her, and she needs to prove him wrong; and she needs to show him that, actually, she's totally nice and pleasant and, like, interesting! Claire is not even pursuing him romantically, at first. She doesn't even like him as a person that much. She just feels she has to prove herself to him, somehow. She must make him love her. It simply gets entangled in the midst of it all, as it often does with Claire.

I've talked before (in tags) why I think they work together. Hunt does not give Claire attention. At least, not in the way she wants to (positive attention.) There is something about Claire that is very offensive to Hunt: she is too much like him! This relationship is not about Claire wearing down a guy until he dates her (which, honestly, that's what it feels like in canon). This is about two deeply flawed people who see conflict as a form of connection. They cannot interact sincerely with each other because they are both too deep in their own prejudices. Claire has a distorted perception of herself. People dislike her not for innate, mysterious reasons, but because she is pushy and brashy. Hunt needs to get over himself. He is not being frank, he is just being rude and unpleasant most of the time. And these are two people who love pointing fingers at others, and then they decide to point it at each other.

They're deeply attracted to each other because one constantly challenges the other. And as much as they do not like to admit this (the great flaw of pride), there is something to be admired in a person that manages to humble you. These are characters that need to be wrong every once in a while. And they found that in each other. Claire has the unconscious need to make Hunt like her, but she's unaware of what makes her unlikeable. And he will make her aware of it. And Hunt thinks of himself as the judge of everything that is good in the world. Claire tells him he's not that important, actually.

There is mutual investment in this relationship. And I think that's what levels the ground between them. Not whatever Claire was doing before.

Once they get together, the issue with Claire and worthiness does not go away (and it won't for a long while); but this is a different relationship than any other she has had, because Hunt is a different person from all the men she's dated before. He is not a person who does things haphazardly, unplanned, not thought through. Most importantly: once he chooses something, he commits to it. So, when he decides to date Claire he's not doing it in precipitation. He has given thought to it, he has given thought to the consequences and he has given thought to Claire. Thence, when he tells her he's "all in", he means it and he is willing to risk it all for her (which does happen; he loses his job) because he thinks she, as a person, adds more to him.

This is probably when Claire realises that she's falling for him (and truly!). I think hearing that from him means a lot to her. It touches a wound in her. Oh, so there are people who are willing to do... things for her. And, of course, not implying this is healthy. This is not fixing anything, because that is not the point. Claire will not mature in this aspect through a relationship... and this all kinda reaffirms her worldview. As for Hunt: he literally throws his career away for her, so maybe he should visit an analyst as well. The point is that this is an important moment to Claire and Hunt's relationship; and this is why this, out of all the relationships Claire has had, lasts. There is a commitment from him in a way that enables her complex, but there's also being seen as a person in a way that she'd never experienced before.

I also like how this subverts Claire's archetype of a perceived femme fatale, slightly. Hunt does lose his job so, in a way, she would have "lead him to ruin". The difference here is that Hunt is fully aware of the consequences, he has given thought to the situation, and he still chose her. She has not "deceived him" (and I'd say she never deceived any man; they knew what they were getting into). The point here is that Hunt does not shift the blame to Claire at any moment: if he lost his job, then that's his doing. Claire is only a person! She has no way of coercing him into anything. He could've said no. And he chose not to.

I need to postface this with: Claire is a complexed person. And as all people with complexes, not everything fits neatly. People are not A to B to C! And neither is she, and there will be contradictions most often than not. I do think most aspects of her personality makes sense in relation to one another, but it's hard to break down a person in parts when they're a totality. This is just a general overview! Lastly, Hunt and Claire will always have a weird dynamic going on between them; they work well, but it's very easy for them to not work well. And maybe that’s what keeps them together.

[oyasuminto]

wait you played mouthwashing?? what did you think of it

I'm gonna just copy/paste some of my rambles below. Warning: I love to yap. Also massive spoilers.

Also this is very disorganized.

Because of Jimmy, everyone is under the impression that Curly is an insane asshole who purposely collided with an asteroid in an unexpected murder-suicide attempt. Curly is still conscious and aware of what's going on. He can hear whatever the crew are saying about him, he has to spend several months paralyzed, being forcefed pills by people who despise him.

The crew still know that Jimmy is an asshole. Daisuke is the only one who hasn't realized it yet because he's so new. Curly could've been seen as a tragic hero, but Jimmy was so desperate to play the hero that he thought he could force people to look past everything he's already done.

Jimmy is a violent egomaniac, impulsive, cruel, demeaning, irresponsible, and, most importantly, delusional as all hell.

The closest he comes to admitting his wrongs is in the scene with Polle where he admits he fucked up and apologizes to Curly for what he's done, but doesn't even think about the months of torment he put everyone else through

He is dangerously obsessed with Curly. He needs Curly to survive because he has imagined some kind of redemption arc for himself with Curly in the middle.

Much like Anya, he is incapable of treating Curly like an autonomous person, but unlike Anya he pretends to see him as an equal.

The men all appear at least once in Jimmy's hallucinations; Curly constantly appears, Jimmy is entirely fixated on him. Daisuke makes appearances after his death. Swansea acts as a constantly pursuing enemy in them.

Anya… really the most we get is group delusions like the party, aside from that it's just body/pregnancy horror, because that's all Jimmy cares about. All Anya is to him is another cheering subordinate, if she's not that then her pregnancy is a terrifying reality looming over his head.

But she is not allowed to be her own independent person.

ALSO!!! while Anya is clearly the main target of Jimmy's abuse and control, he doesn't seem to care about the boundaries of any of the crewmates. Curly is just a puppet he can project his rage, fear, and guilt onto. Daisuke is put into horrifically dangerous situations. Swansea is drugged, and it leads to Daisuke's death because Jimmy used up the last of the isopropyl alcohol.

even during the drugging, Daisuke is terrified that Swansea is dead. Jimmy just shrugs and says that Swansea has a high alcohol tolerance.

Meanwhile Jimmy has already shown he'll just take what he wants. He might tell himself that he cares about Curly, that he's giving Curly a chance, that he's somehow redeeming himself. But he isn't. He's just continuing that same pattern of selfishness that left Curly so grievously injured in the first place.

Jimmy has deluded himself into thinking he's somehow breaking the cycle he started, when he's only making things worse and worse because he can't fucking own up to anything he's done. It's never his fault, not fully. He always finds a way to redirect blame from himself.

it's actually a pretty realistic depiction of an entitled abusive man. He doesn't actually feel bad about anything he's done. He just fears facing the consequences of his actions. If Anya hadn't gotten pregnant and never told anyone what happened, Jimmy would've continued on without a care. Maybe he could've controlled the narrative and told people that she's lying, or that it was consensual. He could've walked out of her life and left her to pick up the pieces.

But a baby is tangible proof of what he did to her. It ties the two of them together, forever. Pony Express doesn't have the budget nor the foresight to stock abortion pills on their ships, and this trip has 8 months left. He would have to take responsibility, one way or another.

Everything hits so much harder when you're hit with the realization that the character you've spent most of the game playing as is a monster

You spend a good amount of time certain that Curly is at fault for all of this. He crashed the ship on purpose, he got himself burned up. He's the reason you're all slowly dying, so when Jimmy is angry at him you feel inclined to agree and sympathize with him. It must be so difficult being shoved into a leadership position while also being stuck in an awful unwinnable position.

He's rude to Curly and Anya, but he's stressed, he's scared, their deaths are basically inevitable. Curly crashed the ship, right? He deserves it. Jimmy basically tells you that Anya is kind of incompetent, she can't even give a patient painkillers! Of course he's growing impatient.

You become like Curly, excusing and brushing off Jimmy's behavior until it's too late.

Jimmy is a deeply pathetic and cowardly person. He thinks that he can save himself by "saving" Curly. He promises that he'll fix things right before murdering Swansea. Even his "selfless" acts are entirely selfish. In the end, all he cares about is soothing his own ego. He tells Curly that they'll both be heroes. He still things he could be a good person. Killing himself was just one more way he escaped responsibility.

He is someone with an awful victim complex. Nothing is ever his fault, and he is always capable of redemption. Any push-back he gets just gives him more ammo to claim victimhood.

Through Jimmy's eyes, it's everyone else who's at fault. Anya is whiny and annoying and useless at her job (she's a deeply traumatized woman who is terrified of Jimmy), Daisuke is a spoiled nepobaby who can't do shit (he's a young adult who wants to please his parents and doesn't always think before he speaks or acts), Swansea is just some drunken asshole (he's a grouch but he's probably sick of Jimmy's shit and just wants to go home to his wife and dog), and Curly is an arrogant ladder-climbing bastard who doesn't care about his crew (he's a closed-off man who takes on more than he can handle and gives Jimmy too much credit).

He needs to maintain that illusion to continue justifying his actions. It's okay that he berates Anya, she's incompetent. It's okay that he gets aggressive with Swansea, he's awful. It's okay that he looks down on and manipulates Daisuke, he's spoiled. It's okay that he beats an incapacitated and barely alive Curly, it's his fault they're in this situation.