#he then makes the decision to step into the elevator but his reason this time is his own

[shousimi]

Good omens season 2 mini meta

alright good omens I’m not done ranting about the second season yet BECAUSE (spoilers under cut)

There’s a few things that I can’t stop thinking about:

1. Crowley was his happiest this season in heaven

Did anyone see how giggly Crowley is in heaven? He’s smiling, chuckling and jumping around and snorting with Muriel, and then again with Saraqael, and then again when going down the lift. 

And I know it isn’t heaven specifically that’s making him giggle: it’s doing something mischievous (just like how he laughs when Aziraphale tells him about the halo thing) but isn’t it ironic? That this is the happiest we see him in the present time, and it’s when he’s snuck into heaven? It’s not heaven itself that makes him happy, but regardless, in this season we see him giggling and in a good mood the longest when he’s in heaven. 

2. Aziraphale’s Halo

This is something my sister pointed out, and I don’t want to give more attention to it partly because I don’t want to believe it. But if we think about foreshadowing in this season, Aziraphale literally takes off his halo and throws it down. I know it’s something angels do during war, and the halo is more of a weapon than a symbol. but still, could it be foreshadowing? The immediate worry that he could have caused a war, and how pleased Crowley was by that. If it is alluding to something in the next season, it’s either Aziraphale falling (I hate that idea) OR Aziraphale declaring war, rejecting both heaven and hell as well as his status as an angel. 

3. Aziraphale pulls Crowley in for the kiss

I am SICK of no one talking about this (jk). but right on minute 47:00 of episode 6, right before the camera shifts again, Aziraphales hands hover before getting closer to Crowleys back, and then their bodies shift closer together as if by force. I FULLY believe Aziraphale used his hands to pull Crowley in closer before pulling them away in the next shot after realizing what he did. 

I’ve rewatched those few seconds so many times that no one can convince me thats not what happened. 

4. Aziraphale has been wooing Crowley this entire season

Crowley only realized he was in love with Aziraphale in the final episodes. 

I think Aziraphale has known since the start. 

He’s been establishing intimacy with Crowley this entire season. For example, why ask to borrow his Bentley now? Like Crowley says, he likes taking the train. And instead of just asking to borrow it, why say that it’s “our” car? Why imply that it’s their bookshop?

He was constantly pushing Crowleys limits to see how far he can get, from the apology dance to borrowing his car and then asking them to dance together. 

And Crowley lets him. He does the dance, he lets him use the car (though he’s not happy about it), and he dances with him even though he says he doesn’t dance. Aziraphale has been establishing an “us” from the beginning, and Crowley let’s him, mostly. 

Crowley lets him borrow the car, but doesn’t allow Aziraphale any liberties with it. Crowley takes care of his bookshop, and doesn’t sell any of the books. but he also immediately takes his plants out of the bookshop before Aziraphale even has a chance to step inside. I’m sure he’s uncomfortable with Gabriel there, but this is also him asserting his independence, saying no to an “us” implicitly. 

5. The ball

“Why were we all dancing?”

“I thought it might make you realize that [Maggie] loved you, and then you’d fall in love with her”

This might be a bit of a stretch, but HEAR ME OUT. What if, what IF, this is what Aziraphale was trying to do but with himself and Crowley?

Think: his ‘wait and see’, keeping the ball a surprise and shooing Crowley out of the shop while he sets up. His weird insistence on creating a perfect atmosphere at the expense of ignoring any and all dangers outside, which he knows can’t enter the bookshop anyways. Crowley is panicking, while Aziraphale literally manufactured a romantic setting and then dragged Crowley to dance with him, excited and giggling. If there weren’t demons outside the bookshop (which Aziraphale didn’t know about yet and was desperately trying to ignore any distractions), and Crowley wasn’t busy panicking, how would that scene have gone differently? 

Aziraphale was trying to establish an ‘us’ this whole time, and in the end Crowley was too. But their timing was tragically off. 

(6. More in the tags about the metatron btw.) 

[sincerelyneo]

could i request a mark smut 😣😣 where reader and mark just had an intense argument but in the end, they cant be mad at each other for long so they just fck it out of each other 🤐🤐🤐🤐

mad at you | l.mk

“then i try to leave, but baby i just can’t stay mad at you”

💿now playing: mad at you by why don’t we

❯ summary: Mark learns that you’ve made a ‘selfish’ decision that’s bound to put a strain on your relationship. Next thing you know, you're knee-deep in an argument that somehow ends with you sprawled out beneath him; because, let’s be honest, he’s never really been any good at staying mad at you.

❯ pairings: idol!mark x fem!reader

❯ genre: angst, smut, established relationship, make up sex

❯ words: 4.3k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, lots of arguing, swearing, reader is lowkey dramatic, makeup sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!), nipple play, dry humping, brief clit play, slight needy mark bc i can't help myself, creampie, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader and mark argue and resolve it by fucking.

an: i love writing angsty arguments (testament to my real relationships lol) so thank you so much for this request. it lowkey brought me out of writer’s block.

The honeymoon stage lasts approximately thirty months or two and a half years – which would make sense considering you and Mark were approaching your third year together and have argued more recently than you ever had. 

But this time it’s different. You’ve never seen Mark like this, so angry that his face is bordering red and his jaw ticks so hard it might crack as the both of you drive in complete silence from your work dinner. He doesn’t even bother sneaking his usual glances at you when he pulls up at stoplights, the hand he likes to place on your thigh is gripping the wheel instead, and the only noise in the car is his rugged and frustrated exhales. 

You could feign ignorance about why he's upset, but you know the reason all too well. And while a part of you acknowledges his right to be angry, another, more prideful part, resists the idea of apologising, especially when you think his reaction seems so disproportionate to your mistake.

So you sit in the passenger seat, arms crossed and body frozen, contributing to the cold silence settling between the two of you. You prepare yourself for the earful of a lecture you’re about to get when he pulls up outside your shared apartment. 

He parks the car, slams the door shut, and strides towards your building without a backward glance. You scoff at his pettiness; he's never been so angry that he wouldn't at least wait for you to get out of the car with him. He doesn't even slow down when you trail behind. And when he nearly lets the elevator doors close without you, any chance he has of receiving an apology from you flies out the window, you think. 

He does, however, show some decency by leaving the front door open for you as you both step out of the elevator and head towards your apartment – how chivalrous. 

The chivalry doesn’t last long because the minute he hears you clasp the door shut, he’s glaring at you, arms crossed tightly over his chest, and you can't help but notice that he's rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt in frustration. If he weren't on the brink of yelling at you, you'd be tempted to make him do more than just roll up those sleeves — you'd want the fabric torn off and thrown on the floor in an instant.

“Paris, Y/N?!” Mark seethes, voice deep and uneven. “You signed a fucking contract to work in Paris?!?”

You pause, attempting to gather your thoughts, but the momentary silence doesn't offer much clarity. Eventually, you settle on, "It's just a six-month gig..." – a statement that seems to send him into a frenzy. 

“Just six months?” He rubs his jaw repeatedly in disbelief, “That’s six months that we won’t get to see each other, did you even think about that huh?”

You scoff, “You’re one to talk, need I remind you that your job takes you away from me for months at a time.”

"That's not fair," he protests. "You knew exactly what you were getting into when you agreed to date me. I didn’t agree to not seeing my girlfriend for months because she’s gallivanting away in Paris without me."

Your eyes narrow and your nostrils flare, “So what? If you would have known, you wouldn’t have wanted to be my boyfriend?”

His eyes widen and he shakes his head. His hands fly to his hair and he tugs at the strands as he huffs out a breath. 

“How the fuck did you get that conclusion from what I said?” He asks, voice sounding baffled. “The reason I’m so mad is because I like being your boyfriend, but I’m not going to see you for the next six months.”

“You’re being a hypocrite right now.”

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Right, because I’m always the one being unreasonable.”

“Yes, you are,” you scorn, “This job is my dream, don’t you see how selfish you're being?”

“I’m selfish?” He gasps, “That’s rich considering you didn’t even consult me when making this decision, I had to find out from your smug little co-worker in front of everyone. You were thinking solely about yourself, Y/N.”

You're on the verge of screaming. How is he not seeing things from your perspective? He's usually so understanding, so open to hearing your side. But the razor-sharp look in his eyes tells you that there's no getting through to him. He's convinced you're wrong, and nothing will change his mind.

“It’s for my job, Mark,” you cross your arms and shrug. 

“And how many times have I told you that you don’t need to work? How many times do I need to tell you I can look after the both of us?”

“And how many times have I told you that I don’t want that? I don’t want to have to always rely on you!” You snap. 

Your teeth grit as the words spit out of your mouth. They seem to hit Mark, deep, his eyes softening for a fleeting moment before sharpening again. He swallows thickly and blinks before running a hand through his hair. 

“Then what are we doing, Y/N?” He asks deflated, “What are we if you don’t want to rely on me?”

You're not sure what compels you to say it – whether it's the way you're all worked up, the entire context of the argument, or some inner recognition that you're the one who's fucked up this time despite you both having stuff to apologise for. Still, you escalate the situation from zero to one hundred without a second thought. 

“Oh, so you want to break up?”

He shakes his head and tongues the inside of his cheek, “When did I say that?!”

The fight only gets worse after that, the two of you blowing up after every sentence. You run around in circles, throwing accusations and insults at each other to the point the original premise of the argument is lost along the way of a thousand new arguments. It’s like every little thing you’ve both done to irk each other over the last month is brought up; and by the end of it, the two of you swear you’re done with each other. 

Sure, you've had your fair share of arguments, but the biting finality of the word "done" as it leaves his lips sends a sharp pang through your stomach – it hurts like hell. You've reached your limit with this endless cycle of back-and-forth; you've had enough of him. Storming past him, you head towards your shared bedroom.

Mark sighs and reaches out for your arm, but you pull away. He doesn't like this, doesn't like the chilliness he feels from you. He doesn't want to end the argument like this; it's never gone this far without a resolution before.

“You can’t just storm away when we argue Y/N, it’s childish.”

“If you don’t like it then leave!” You slam the door shut after you and lock it. 

Mark hates this more, not being able to talk this out because you’ve put a wall between the two of you. Then your words register in his mind and he’s the most hurt he’s ever felt. You want him to leave. Fuck that, he thinks. He’s not going to watch his relationship go down the drain over a petty argument. 

He knocks on the door a few times, then jiggles the doorknob, calling out your name and pleading for you to let him in. But you remain unmoved, denying him even the satisfaction of hearing your voice telling him to go away. This only adds to his frustration. He's the one you've upset, and yet here he is, begging for you to open up so he can fix things.

After a few more tries he scoffs, your words echoing in his mind once more. Leave. It crosses his mind as he makes his way to the front door of the apartment. He swings it open, ready to clear his head and crash at Johnny's for the night. But just as he's about to step out, he catches sight of a picture of the two of you on the coffee table where he keeps his keys. 

It’s from your honeymoon phase when it was easier for the two of you to say you’d never let anything come between you – when love seemed to blind you both. Mark picks up the photo, memories flooding back to the day it was taken. It was the day you met his parents and shared your aspirations of becoming a fashion designer. You reassured them that you had your own dreams and weren't just with their son for his wealth – though his parents wouldn't have minded either way; they would have been content with any girl that made their son happy. And you made Mark happy – you make Mark so fucking happy. 

Which is why he can’t believe he’s even considering leaving you in this apartment on your own after a fight. He shuts the front door and makes his way to the couch. He's eager to resolve things with you now, but both of you are too caught up in emotions, spouting shit you'll likely regret in the morning. So he opts to grab a few sofa pillows and a blanket from the storage closet instead. He strips down from his dress shirt and pants, throwing them to the floor before lying back and resting his eyes with a heavy mind.

Regret doesn't hit you until 2:00 am the following morning, when you're met with the chill of an empty space beside you as you reach out to cuddle your boyfriend, only to find him absent. Sure you thought he was overreacting to the news, but you're also painfully aware that your own words were uncalled for. You shouldn’t have asked him to leave – you didn’t want him to. 

As you heard the front door open and then close with a clink, a thick lump formed in your throat. The realisation that you had driven him away hit you hard, and you lost all motivation. You lay on your bed, makeup still intact, as you sniffled and sobbed quietly into your pillow. And even now, after tossing and turning from your mind running laps, you’d only managed to sleep for a few minutes. 

You stretch your stiff legs and reluctantly leave your bed, unlocking your bedroom door with sleepy eyes. You're taken aback when you see Mark sleeping soundly on the sofa, his breath steady with his eyes closed. You thought he had left, but there he is, covered only by the blanket from the storage closet. It breaks your heart to see him like this; he's likely cold, and he'll probably have a stiff neck in the morning for practice. And you know it's all your fault.

The guilt eats away at you, and without hesitation, you rush to the bedroom to grab his pillows and an extra blanket. Realistically, you should wake him up and insist he sleeps in bed, but the fear of his lingering anger keeps you from doing so. Instead, you kneel in front of him, attempting to swap the sofa pillows for his own bed pillows.

However, your efforts prove futile because Mark is a light sleeper – a detail you foolishly overlooked in your worried state of mind. He blinks as he wakes up once, then twice, appearing confused to find you in front of him in the living room instead of beside him in bed.

“Baby?” He whispers, his eyes hazy as he tries to make sense of what you're doing. It doesn’t take him long once he spots the sofa cushion in your hand to put the pieces together.  

You bite your lip and sigh, “I know you're mad at me, but I didn’t want you to wake up stiff in the morning.”

Mark's chest constricts. How could he possibly stay mad at you when you're so cute, fussing over him like this? He notices the smudge of black makeup beneath your eye, and his heart tightens once more – this time with sadness rather than affection.

His hand reaches out to touch your cheek, and you’re shocked at the touch. “You’ve been crying?” He asks and you bow your head. 

"I thought you left..."

Mark wants to laugh at the irony. You asked him to leave, and yet here you are, upset at the idea of his departure. He swears if he weren't so in love with you, he'd rant about how much you mess with his head, pushing him to the edge only to pull him back again.

“Would never leave you, baby, you know that,” his voice is soft and comforting as the rough edge of his fingertips finds your jaw. 

You can't control it; tears fall freely from your eyes. He's being incredibly considerate and gentle with you, even after you acted like a bitch. Honestly, you almost wish he'd just yell at you instead. But he doesn’t, his eyes widen and he immediately sits up straight letting the blanket fall to the floor as he pulls you up to sit on his lap. 

He shushes you, his hands finding your waist where he rubs soothing soft circles into the fabric of your tank top, “Hey, why are you crying? I’m here…please don’t get upset, Y/N.”

His kindness only amplifies your guilt. 

"I'm so sorry," you stifle in short sobs, your voice almost cracking. "I should've talked to you about the job offer before signing the contract... I-I didn't mean to act so selfishly. I just... I wasn't thinking."

Mark gives you a half-smile as he runs a hand through your hair. "It's okay, baby... You got caught up in your dream. I'm sorry for not realising that. I'm the one being selfish by always expecting you to put me first."

"No—"

He interrupts you to continue his apology. "You were right, you know. I always expect you to wait for me while I'm on tour. I never considered it from the other side, with me waiting for you... But I will. I'll wait because I know how much this job means to you."

Your face buries itself in the crook of his neck as you cry even harder, and he tuts gently while rubbing your back.

"Please don’t cry, Y/N," he murmurs softly. "I hate seeing you upset."

"Can’t help it," you muffle. "I hate that I upset you…"

Mark pulls you away from his neck, needing to look into your eyes as he speaks. "It's normal for couples to argue, baby. We just need to promise to communicate better, okay?"

His fingers stroke your cheeks again, and you lean into his touch. The warmth of his hand feels so comforting as if he was made to soothe your skin, the only person capable of bringing you relief. You bite your lip and nod against his palm, because you're more than willing to work on your communication if it means never feeling like this again.

"Now, give me a smile. You know, the pretty one I like," he says with a laugh. "If I'm not going to see you for the next six months, I don’t want one of our last moments together to be so... sad."

You smile at him and press your forehead against his with a whisper. "Me neither.”

You’re so close to each other that you’re practically sharing the same breath, if you had said that two hours ago you wouldn’t have believed yourself. But here you are, lips so close that your heavy breathing practically begs him to kiss you.

Mark feels it too, so when he does, it's like the softness of his lips is a bandage, mending the angry tension between the two of you. It patches up the last few hours that have transpired, and when he pulls away, it feels as if nothing even happened.

His hands grip your hips firmly, his fingers pressing down as he guides your body to grind against his clothed crotch. His lips find yours again, accompanied by a groan that escapes into your mouth. It's only when you feel him harden beneath you that you remember he was half-naked on the sofa – clearly after you locked him out of the bedroom.

Suddenly feeling suffocated by your own clothes, you pull away from him to strip off your tank top, tossing it over your head before discarding it somewhere in the living room. You yearn to meet his lips again – the only place you truly feel safe – but Mark wants to savour the way you look. Your clothed cunt eagerly grinding against his hard-on, hips chasing a high so eagerly that your bra strap has slid loosely down your arm.

You're a vision, Mark thinks, one that has him salivating and desperate to fuck you. He almost curses at himself for nearly ruining it all, for nearly walking out on the most beautiful person on the planet, the best sex he's ever had – and not only that but also the funniest, sweetest person he knows he'll ever meet.

He leans into your neck, his nose nuzzling into you as he whispers softly, "I'm sorry... so sorry, Y/N." His hand leaves your hips to cup your breast over your bra, massaging the mound with just enough pressure to elicit soft moans from your lips.

“‘s okay,” you whimper. 

Your head falls back as his hand snakes around to unclasp it. He wastes no time brushing his intrusive fingers down your chest, wearing a filthy smirk because he knows just how sensitive you are there. The tip of his finger circles around your nipple until he’s right in the centre, feeling it harden under his touch. He pinches it, and you jolt forward on his cock, making his boxers tighten, and he groans.

He loves how responsive you were to him, watching you writhe over him as he touched you in torturous pleasure. Just the way you arch your back into his touch has pre-cum leaking out of his cock. 

He leans in this time, sucking on your nipple and opening wide to get as much of the tender tissue of your breast in his mouth as possible. He holds your waist in place to keep you grinding on him to entice enough friction for him to feel good too. 

And when he looks down to see where the two of you meet, he moans when he sees the wet patch leaking through your shorts onto his boxers. 

“Fuck, so wet for me, baby. Just for me.”

You whimper, and his hand slips into the hem of your shorts. You’re glad you never wear panties to bed because his fingers find your clit immediately, relieving you of some of the neediness you’ve been feeling from grinding down on him. He rubs small circles as his mouth licks and sucks and nips at your bud. 

“Mark…” 

“Shhh baby,” he coos, “wanna make it up to you. Please let me make it up to you, let me make you feel good.” 

You whimper with a nod of your head, humping into his hand, legs opening wider to give him easier access to the place you’re most sensitive. You let out mild pants, hips bucking more aggressively from the stimulation on both your nipple and clit.

And when Mark notices you getting close, he pulls off your tit to look up at your face. It’s his favourite part — watching your features contort when the bliss is at its highest. It makes his chest swell with pride knowing he’s the one making you cum, knowing his touch is enough to make you shake and moan. And if he wasn’t such a selfish lover, he’d think the sight is something everyone should see at least once.

As you come down from your orgasm, your eyes flutter open to meet him. Mark doesn’t know whether it’s from seeing your orgasm paired with the argument from earlier but he’s the hardest he’s ever been. 

You notice it too, looking down and giggling. “Now it’s my turn to make it up to you.” 

He lets out a soft huff, and a muscle in his jaw twitches with his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat before he nods. You free his cock from his boxers and shimmy yourself out of your shorts. You let out identical gasps when your bare cunt brushes against the tip of his cock. 

Slowly, you sink onto him, fully feeling him inside of you. Your head falls forward, your forehead resting against his shoulder as you take in the size of him, the way he fills you just right — the way he always does. 

The stretch as you take him in never gets old, eliciting the same whimpers and whines. You can feel his hands resting on your hips, then slipping to the bend of your waist, silently urging you to move as he presses you downwards.

You lift your hips, slow and steady as you let the sensations wash over you, drawing a low groan from deep in his chest. His grip on your body tightens as you sink back down, blunt nails digging into your skin. The sounds he makes only drive you further into finding a teasing rhythm because his voice is just so pretty. The sounds are soon muffled to your disappointment when his mouth presses into your skin, so his tongue can slide along the top of your breast — making the disappointment fade away real quick. 

You let out a breathy cry, hands rising from where they’ve been resting, flattening against his chest, to wrap around his shoulders. The slow pace you’d adopted was becoming not enough. And you could tell from the way Mark is rutting his hips up to meet you, he shares the same sentiment. 

Your mouths collide as you pick up the pace, using his shoulders to leverage yourself as you bounce up and down on his cock. When he breaks from the kiss, an unrestrained groan slips past his lips, low and rough, followed by another, and you have to bite back a whimper of your own.

Mark can’t help the noises, he just loves the way you swivel your hips in a way that makes him see stars. He loves watching you work yourself on him for pleasure – he loves when you ride him.

And right when you squeeze around him, he rewards you with a loud, obscene groan, a sound that makes you dizzy and limp. Everything about Mark is intoxicating and downright addicting, and you were in no hurry to kick that addiction. In fact, you craved more of it – needed more. 

You grab his hands and guide them across your body. He squeezes them at your hips, smoothing across your thighs, your stomach. His hands were everywhere, eyes dark and desperate, wordlessly begging for you to give him what he needed, the same thing he’d been kind enough to already give you. 

So you rock yourself forward, providing a new type of friction that makes you whine helplessly into his skin. Blunt nails mark into the plush of your thighs, a futile attempt at grounding himself. The upward thrust of his hips and the strained catch of his breath tells you that he's growing impatient. You know the pace was slow, but damn it, it felt so fucking good to feel him like this, every inch of him sliding into you, hitting all the spots that makes your brain stop working. It also felt like a sick little way to get revenge...

“Faster,” you hear him say. “Please baby, need it faster.”

You could feel his hips bucking up to meet you. Then his thumb finds your clit, working in circles and making you squeeze around him with a shrill, gasping cry. It was his attempt at bargaining with you, doing anything to make you speed up and shamelessly fuck yourself on his cock. Maybe if he pleases you, you’ll let him cum.

“Please fuck me properly baby, need it,” he rasps, “You want me to forgive you right?”

And then you remember what led you here in the first place. You’d upset him and now you’re teasing him – you suppose it’s only fair if you pick up the pace a little more, fuck him messily and desperately enough to have him dizzying towards his climax. 

And once you do, his thrusts grow sloppier, and your thighs start aching. It feels too fucking good so all that you can do is cling to him and let him take the lead, strong hands guiding you as he sucks against your neck. And even though you’re supposed to be the one making him cum, you find yourself buried in the crook of his neck, gasping as your walls clench and nails dig into the skin of his strong back. 

The slight stinging sensation is enough to work Mark over the edge, and you feel him twitch inside of you, sending shock waves up your spine as he fucks his cum inside of you with a final powerful thrust. You roll your hips to help him along, taking all you can get from him and he moans his appreciation as you do. 

You remain tangled up in one another as you come down from your respective highs with foreheads pressed close. You wrestle to find his hand, lacing your fingers with his as he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. He kisses your nose, then your lips, with a tenderness that makes your heart feel like it’s being squeezed. 

You don’t want to move just yet, so you release your hands and wrap them around his neck, nuzzling your nose against his before you speak.

"Mark?" You mumble, your voice tired and hazy. He hums in response.

"I’m sorry," you say softly.

You feel his smile against your mouth before he kisses your lips. "It’s okay, baby. I don’t even remember what we were fighting for."

[togrowoldinv]

Truth or Dare

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

While playing truth or dare with the team, feelings get revealed

Note: I was going to do it as a college au, but I thought an Avengers party would be a fun setting for this one. Enjoy!

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 1, Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 2, Main Masterlist

It was a silly idea, really, to play truth or dare with the rest of the Avengers. Everyone but Tony thought they were too old for it, but somehow he convinced everyone to play.

It started out simple. Sam dared Tony to chug a drink, Clint made Steve tell the group about his USO tour days, and you dared Wanda to fly up and touch the ceiling.

But as the night went on things got more intense. Everyone started asking hard hitting truth questions or daring each other to make questionable decisions.

“Alright, one last round,” Tony announces once everyone is more than a later wasted and definitely tiring of the job. “Romanoff, you’re up.”

Natasha hadn’t participated very much at this point. She was only dared a couple times to do simple things. No one wanted to mess with her.

“Fine,” she agrees. She rolls the dice and it lands on Tony’s number. He grins at her. “Truth or dare?”

“I think… dare. Why not end the night on a fun one,” Tony answers.

“Okay. I dare you to go home to your girlfriend,” Natasha says.

“Lame!” Tony yells.

“A dare is a dare, Stark,” Steve comes to Nat’s defense.

“I’m staying until my turn,” Tony declares. “Which is now.”

He rolls the dice this time. It lands on your number. You’ve avoided anything too embarrassing so far, but you never know with Tony.

“Y/n, my dear, truth or dare?” He asks dramatically.

“Um, dare?” You phrase it like a question. That makes everyone laugh.

“Dare it is,” he says. He rubs his chin as to appear to be thinking. “I dare you to kiss Natasha.”

The room goes silent at his dare. It seems like everyone is looking at you. Does he know you had a crush on her? Does everyone know? Does Natasha know? The thoughts run through your head as you’re not sure how much time has passed since he dared you.

“Alright, game over,” Sam cuts in.

“Yeah, we all need to rest up for training tomorrow,” Steve adds.

The guys leave the room one by one and say they’re goodnights. Natasha waits by the door frame to catch you when you leave. Wanda remains sitting by your side.

“Are you okay?” She asks.

“Yeah. I just- does he know?”

“I think he’s drunk and was trying to be funny,” Wanda reasons. “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”

She nudges your shoulder. You offer her a weak smile.

“Thanks Max,” you say.

“Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to tell her how you feel,” Wanda says. She hugs you before standing up to leave the room.

You stand up, taking a deep breath before you walk, and enter the hallway. Natasha watches and follows you towards the elevator. She steps in after you.

“Oh, your floor?” You ask her, ready to push the button.

“Actually, can we talk?” She asks.

You have no choice but to agree. The two of you exit on your floor. Natasha again follows you as you lead her into the living room area.

“What did you want to talk about?” You ask her.

“What happened back there,” Nat says. “What Tony said.”

“Oh, I don’t know why he did that.”

Natasha takes a step closer to you. It’s small but you notice it.

“Why didn’t you do it?” She asks.

“I- I don’t know,” you lie.

“Y/n, why didn’t you kiss me?”

She steps even closer now. Her body is within arms reach.

“Natasha,” is all you can mumble out.

“I would’ve kissed you,” she admits. “Even in front of everyone. I would’ve.”

You’re taken aback by that. All this time you’ve been crushing on her, you never considered she might have feelings for you too.

“So again, why didn’t you kiss me?” Natasha asks.

Here goes nothing.

“Because if I kissed you then I wouldn’t have been able to stop,” you say.

“I don’t see a problem with that.”

You take the steps closer to her this time. Her hands circle your waist as you do so. It feels right.

“Truth or dare?” Natasha whispers.

“Dare,” you reply.

“Kiss me,” the words fall off her lips just before you kiss them.

You kiss her for what feels like forever. You kiss her until you’re both out of breath. You kiss her like you’ve never kissed anyone before.

The truth is that you and Natasha both needed that push to take the leap together. You wonder if Wanda put the idea into Tony’s head somehow. She’s always looking out for you.

“Stay?” You ask Natasha once you’ve moved to the couch together.

She answers with another kiss. And another. And another.

It’s the perfect end to the day.

[redrose10]

Here is the first part! There will end up being a second chapter.

CEO Yoongi x Female Barista/College Student Reader

Title: Cold Brewed Love

Summary: When you begged the owner of Jin’s Java House to hire more employees you didn’t mean for him to stick you with the cold, rude, arrogant CEO Min Yoongi. Over time something begins to brew between you both and you end up forced to make decisions way above the pay grade of a cafe barista.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, hints of smut(nothing explicit), Yoongi is mean but we all know he’ll turn fluffy later, violence, kidnapping, mention of a gun

Word Count: 6,934

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You walked into work today at Jin’s Java House filled with dread at the situation. Lately things had been a nightmare there and you definitely didn’t get paid enough to put up with it. The only reason you hadn’t quit like everyone else was because the owner Jin was very flexible with your schedule and would accommodate your college schedule around your shifts, plus he let you have unlimited free coffee and snacks any time you wanted which really helped your already small bank account.

Your plan was to only work here a few months until something better came along, but now here you were two years later still at the same position as a barista at a coffee shop in the lobby of the largest office building in your city. It got your bills paid and you figured once you graduated college soon you could move on elsewhere.

After you clocked in Jin asked you to meet him in the office so you followed along hoping for good news.

“Y/N this is Jungkook. He’s the new employee I was telling you about. Please make sure he gets up and running before you move to the evening shift.”, he said before walking away to answer a phone call.

“Hi”, Jungkook nervously smiled.

“Hi”, you smiled back, “So the easiest thing to learn would be the register so we will start there.”, you said motioning for him to follow.

Thankfully he was a pretty fast learner. After just about an hour of you showing him the register he was already taking some orders by himself which you were very grateful for and thought maybe things were finally starting to look up.

After the morning rush you were just mindlessly wiping down the counter when Jungkook walked over to you.

“Who is that?”, he asked almost in awe.

You rolled your eyes after quickly recognizing the man walking by in his perfectly tailored suit and slicked back hair with a piece that fell perfectly against his forehead, “That’s Min Yoongi. He’s the CEO of MYG INC.”

“Wow he’s beautiful.”, Jungkook whispered.

You chuckled, “Yeah unfortunately his personality doesn’t match his appearance.”

You braced yourself for a fight with him, but thankfully it seemed like Yoongi was going to pass on the coffee today and headed straight for the elevators instead.

“I take it you’ve had some bad experiences with him?”, Jungkook asked.

“Yeah you could say that”.

You and Yoongi have a difficult history. You are about the same age, but he runs a successful billion dollar company while you make coffee for barely above minimum wage and also take classes at the local college which makes you feel intimidated by him and maybe even a little jealous. And he knows that.

His order was the first one you had ever made. Not only were you nervous because it was your first time, but he was also one of the most handsome men you had ever seen and you developed almost an instant crush on him. You were so nervous in fact that you dropped his cup of coffee making it spill all over the counter and right onto his expensive leather shoes. He was quick to reprimand you to the point his assistant Hoseok stepped in and pulled him away from the counter while giving you an apologetic smile. Hoseok returned later that day to apologize for his boss’ actions and offered to buy you lunch from the neighboring Thai restaurant.

Then just a few months later you had been asked by Jin to take up several cases of pastries to Yoongi’s office for some big meeting they were having. After you placed everything in the break room you quickly moved trying to hurry back down to the cafe to help out your co-worker who was working alone during the breakfast rush in your absence when in your haste you turned and ran right into Yoongi causing the stack of documents he was holding to fly everywhere through the office. He had a scowl and some choice words for you once again while you crawled around on your hands and knees trying to reorganize the mess and not cry in front of him. Hoseok was quick to save you then too and that’s how your friendship with ‘Hobi’ started.

Ever since that day though, Yoongi was always rude to you while ordering his coffee. He purposely got your name wrong even though it was right on your name tag. He hardly ever looked up from his phone and if he did it was only to look down on you and try to make you feel small. You hated him. But you hated it even more that no matter how much you hated him you couldn’t abolish the little crush you had on him. He was easily one of, if not your least favorite customer to deal with and you couldn’t ever see that changing.

A few weeks go by and thankfully Jungkook was getting faster and faster, but at the end of the day he was still on the newer side. Jin hired two more people, Jimin and Taehyung but they weren’t going to be starting for another week. Taehyung was going to work mornings with Jungkook and Jimin was going to work the evening shift with you. Today was your last morning shift because your classes started in a couple days so you begged Jin for a few days off to relax and reset which he approved after convincing his sister to come help out at the cafe for a few days.

Jungkook was manning the register as usual since he was much more of people person than you were while you worked away at making the orders.

It was a particularly busy day, worse than usual. There was a huge conference being held in one of the offices bringing in lots of out of town customers as well as your regulars. Jungkook was doing his best to take orders on his own leaving you to have to do all of the prep and stocking as well as make everything ordered.

You stared out at the sea of people letting out a sigh before returning back to the drink you were working on.

You were making a particularly difficult drink when Jungkook nervously stepped up next to you. “Y/N there is a customer at the register that wants to speak to the manager.”, he whispered.

You technically weren’t a manager, but you were the closest there was so you made a mental note to talk to Jin about a promotion and a raise before taking a deep breath to steady your nerves.

“Please hand this drink to order 613. I’ll handle the complaint.”, you said before grabbing a few free drink coupons as an apology.

Stepping up to the counter you felt your stomach twist at the sight. This wasn’t going to be any normal complaint. Not only did you have to apologize for something out of your control, but you had to apologize to your least favorite customer, Mr. Min Yoongi.

He didn’t even give you a chance to speak before he started, “The wait time is ridiculous. There is no reason that it should take nearly twenty-five minutes in line to get a mediocre cup of coffee.”

“I know Sir. I apologize. It’s just Jungkook and I and he’s still pretty new. We’re trying our best.”

“Clearly your best is not good enough. I don’t know how you can get any lower than a measly coffee maker, but maybe you should try something else.”

“Again I apologize Sir. Here are some coupons for free drinks and I’ll make sure to speak with the owner about improving our processes.”, you said still trying to be professional.

He scoffed, “Do I look like I need coupons for a free drink?“

“No, but there is not much else I can offer you. I apologize for the long wait, but as I said we’re trying our best.”

“Do better because this is unacceptable.”, he spat before leaving his coffee and walking way.

At that point the wall you built up crumbled and tears began to fall freely.

“Hey go in the back and take a few. I’ll be okay.”, Jungkook said.

“No it’s okay. I have to make the orders.”

“Y/N, go. I’ll be okay. I’ll make some of the drinks that I know and then ones I don’t I’ll just wing it. I mean they can’t get any more upset than they already are so what’s a wrong drink going to do.”, he chuckled.

You nodded and walked to the back for a few minutes.

You couldn’t believe the audacity of Yoongi. Like sure the wait times were terrible, but it’s not like he couldn’t afford to just order coffee from somewhere else or send Hobi to get it. You felt like he purposely just wanted to ruin your day and that hurt more than it should have.

After taking a small break you returned to the front thankful that Jungkook had everything taken care of. It seemed like most of the line left after Yoongi’s spectacle and you walking away so there were only a few people left.

“See I told you I could handle it.”, Jungkook smiled as he was clearly making the wrong drink, but judging by the puppy dog eyes the girl at the counter was giving him you didn’t think she’d really care anyways.

“Thank you Kookie. That break really helped.”, you said giving his arm a squeeze.

When your shift finally ended you said goodbye to Jungkook and left for home. Exhausted you plopped down on your couch taking out your phone.

You: Is your boss PMSing or something? He was an even bigger jerk than normal today.

Hobi: Ohhh that’s probably what he was mumbling about when he got in.

You: What?

Hobi: Nothing, it’s nothing. Yeah sorry about him. He’s trying to close this really important deal or something. He always gets like this when he’s working on that. Plus I think his parents are on his case about something.

You: Well he should learn to keep his emotions to himself before he really hurts someone.

Hobi: I thought you said he was an emotionless robot…

You: 😑

Your mini vacation was much needed especially after your latest Yoongi encounter, but it went by way too fast for your liking. Classes started up again and they were already kicking your ass. You moved to the evening shift at work which was a nice change of pace. It was a little slower than the mornings and although you missed Jungkook you were getting along great with Jimin.

Earlier today Jin had texted you to let you know a new employee would be starting at night. He didn’t give you much info other than he’d only be working part time and you were oddly warned not to have sex in the office because this guy was apparently super hot. You were just excited to get another worker so maybe you could eventually reduce your hours a little and take some of the stress off so you weren’t going to complain.

Your shift was going by extremely slow so you had your back to the counter as you wiped down one of the old machines trying to accomplish something for the day. From behind you someone cleared their throat making you jump a little.

“Hi welcome to Jin’s Java House how can I help you today?”

You stopped in your tracks feeling your heart speed up, “M-Mr.Min?”, you asked.

He rolled his eyes before grabbing an apron from the rack.

“Uh Mr. Min?”, you questioned.

He looked more pissed off than ever.

“Y/N”, he said finally looking at your name tag, “I guess I am your new coworker for the next several weeks. Maybe I’ll be able to to come up with a better system to solve the slow service around here.”

“Umm uh sir? W-what do you mean coworker?”

He rolled his eyes again, “Obviously I mean we are working together.”

“I know what a coworker is. My question is why is a successful billionaire ceo working at a coffee shop for minimum wage?”

“Because my lovely parents think I need to learn some humility and how to talk to people other than just demanding things. They said I do this or they’re removing me from the company so I have no choice.”, he said picking at some lint on his shirt.

“So I’m working here for a little. I figured if anyone knows some humbleness it’s a nobody coffee maker.”

Being the reliable hard worker you are you sucked it up, “Okay sir. The easiest thing is to learn the register first.”

He followed you over to where the computer was located.

“Okay so this row is the specials. This row is basic coffees. Then when you select a coffee it asks if you want to add any thing. That’s where you’ll find the flavorings and toppings. This row is cold drinks. This row is baked goods.”

You noticed he was very quiet so when you looked up you weren’t surprised to see him staring at some blond in a very short pencil skirt sitting at one of the cafe tables. It did make you feel a sting of jealousy, but you quickly shook that away.

“Are you even listening?”, you questioned.

“Y/N, I run a billion dollar company. I think I can figure out a few buttons on a computer screen at a coffee shop.”, he smirked.

“Okay, here’s your first customer.”, you smiled as Mrs. Kang walked up to the counter. She was a familiar regular who was notoriously difficult and you couldn’t wait to watch Yoongi crash and burn.

“Hi, welcome to Jin’s Java House, how can I help you?”, he greeted her as cocky as ever.

“Sure can I get a medium coffee with two pumps of hazelnut, half a pump of vanilla but make sure it’s only half a pump. Last time they definitely put too much. I want the coffee fresh brewed but a mix of the house blend and the cinnamon nut. Then also add a caramel swirl and use half oat milk half almond milk that is warmed up so it doesn’t cool the coffee too much. I also want a banana nut muffin on the side but warm it up also.”

You felt a deep sense of happiness as you watched Yoongi’s fingers hover over the buttons unsure of how to complete the order. Reluctantly he looked at you for assistance.

You showed him how to type in the order while Jimin got to work making it.

That was definitely a humbling experience for Yoongi who was much more open to help after that.

The following few weeks flew by between your classes and shifts at the coffee shop. You and Yoongi were working surprisingly well together. He was actually a decent worker and wasn’t as insufferable to be around.

“Y/N please stop calling me Sir.”, he said one evening.

“I’m sorry it’s just a habit.”

“Well please just call me Yoongi. Sir is reserved for other things.”, he smirked.

You quickly turned away hoping to hide your blushing cheeks from him.

He even apologized for always treating you so coldly, especially that one day he made you run in the back and cry. He chuckled saying Hobi heard him ranting about how much of an idiot he was. He said he came down later in the day to apologize, but you were already gone and he said it bothered him ever since. There was a small shift in your relationship after that.

He had texted you earlier today to let you know that he was going out and wouldn’t be working tonight which kind of made you feel a little as as you had grown to look forward to working with him.

“I strive to be like him one day. Rich, successful, good looking, always having a hot woman on my arm.”, Jimin sighed.

You spun around just in time to see Yoongi walking through the lobby towards the door with the pencil skirt blonde tightly clinging to his arm as he licked his lips while looking down at her.

You don’t know what you expected when he said he was going out or why that sight made your chest tighten, but you quickly returned to portioning out coffee beans so Jimin wouldn’t see your eyes watering.

Maybe you were naive or just had too much wishful thinking, but you had really thought that maybe there was a small chance Yoongi was starting to like you too. You noticed his gaze lingering a little longer than it used it. How he’d “accidentally” bump into you or brush his fingers against your skin. How he started showing up a little earlier every shift and would immediately make his way over to you. But apparently it was all in your head. The more you thought about it the more you felt silly for thinking someone like him could ever be interested in someone like you. So you spent the rest of the shift trying to keep your thoughts away from what Yoongi was up to.

After last night you were thankful it was Saturday because Yoongi never worked weekends which meant you could avoid him for a couple days.

Unfortunately for you, luck was not on your side because when you arrived for your shift Yoongi was already behind the counter.

You faked a smile as you rounded the counter to grab your apron with Yoongi following behind with a red drink in his hands.

“I got you a smoothie from that health place down the street.”

You looked at him confused.

“I just thought you might be sick of coffee.”, he said feeling self conscious all of a sudden for some reason.

“Oh thank you. I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to be working today.”, you said taking the drink from him.

Shyly he scratched the back of his neck, “Oh yeah I figured since I couldn’t work yesterday I’d pick up a few hours tonight.”

You nodded before clocking in and heading over to wipe down the already clean counter just to avoid him. Being around him made you feel so confused and conflicted and you didn’t have it in you to deal with that right now.

“How was your date last night? She was hot. I bet you had a good time with her.”, Jimin smirked as he handed Yoongi a cup to fill.

You happened to look up noticing Yoongi quickly turn away from you, but you didn’t miss the slight blush on his cheeks.

He turned back to Jimin, “Yeah she was alright.”

“You gonna see her again? Does she have any single friends or maybe a hot older sister?”

You rolled your eyes before walking away not really wanting to hear Yoongi’s answer anyways.

As days went on you got over Yoongi and the pencil skirt incident until it was Friday and yet again Yoongi texted you that he couldn’t work because he would be going out.

Before he left the office he stopped over at the coffee shop.

As much as you wanted to you couldn’t stop staring. He looked good. His suit jacket was thrown over his shoulder. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up giving you a great view of his hands and forearms that you weirdly loved. His hair was messily styled after the gel gave out from hours of work. As he walked up to the counter you were hit with the scent of his cologne, a comforting cinnamon and vanilla that made you think of eating Christmas cookies by the fire place.

“I thought you were going out?”, you asked sounding more hurt than you wanted.

“Meeting that hot blonde again?”, Jimin asked wiggling his eyebrows.

Yoongi chuckled, “No not tonight. I’m just meeting my parents for dinner at that new sushi place everyone’s talking about. I thought I’d stop by and see if either of you wanted me to bring you something back for dinner.”

Your heart felt warmed that the once cold CEO was now going out of the way to see if you wanted food and you also selfishly felt joy at the fact that he wasn’t meeting that woman again tonight.

“Oh my god yes! I’m starving!”, Jimin excitedly exclaimed making you and Yoongi laugh. As you watched Yoongi write down Jimins order someone walked up to the counter and cleared their throat. Expecting a customer you were happily surprised to see Jungkook.

“Kookie!!”, you shouted jogging around the corner and into his arms missing the scowl that crossed Yoongi’s face.

“What are you doing here? I feel like I haven’t seen you in months.”

“I was in the area and thought I’d stop by to get a coffee and say hi.”

As you walked over to the register to ring in an employee drink Yoongi leaned forward over the counter motioning for Jimin to do the same.

“Who is that?”, Yoongi whispered.

“Ummm that is Jungkook. He works on the morning shift. Haven’t you seen him before?”

Now that Jimin mentioned it he did remember seeing this kid working at the coffee shop. He didn’t like him back then and he really didn’t like him now watching him as he flexed his muscles in a tight black tshirt while you excitedly told him about the paper you were writing for your philosophy class. Yoongi wondered if maybe he should start going to the gym more. He also felt a bit of jealousy watching you so easily talk to Jungkook. You always acted so scared of him which he knew was mostly his own fault, but still. He wished you could freely talk about your life with him or that you would act that excited when he walked in. He also wished Jimin would stop bringing up that woman. He didn’t even remember her name. He had zero real interest in her and just wanted to have a distraction to try and stop his growing crush for you because he knew at the of the day you deserved better than him. But then he saw the look on your face as he walked out of the office building with her that night and he couldn’t take it. He gave the woman some money to buy dinner as an apology and also keep her quiet and went home by himself wishing he was as work with you instead.

And now here you were flirting with this Kookie guy right in front of him.

“Hello earth to Yoongi.”, Jimin said waving his hands in his face.

“Sorry what was that?”

“I changed my mind. I want a rainbow roll instead of the eel roll.”

“Oh yeah sure. Whatever you want.”, he said going to write that down when he saw it. You using your fingers to trace over Jungkook’s new tattoo as he conveniently flexed his bicep at the same time and that was it.

Yoongi never thought of himself as a jealous man because if one woman broke his heart he could have another replacing her that same night, but there was something different about you. And watching this all unfold made him turn green with envy.

He took out his wallet and handed Jimin a card, “Here take my card and go order whatever you want. Get something for Y/N too. I’ll cover your shift while you’re gone.”

Jimin looked at the shiny black card and wasn’t about to question him so he happily threw his apron down on the counter before sprinting for the door.

Yoongi picked up the apron putting it on trying to cover as much of his outfit as he could regretting not bringing a change of clothes since Gucci and coffee didn’t really mix.

As he walked around the counter you looked at him stunned, “What are you doing? I thought you had to meet your parents? And where is Jimin?”

Yoongi finished washing his hands before he walked back over to you, “I gave Jimin my card and told him to go get us dinner. Seemed like he needed a break. My parents will understand. I mean, me working here was their idea to begin with.”

“Oh okay.”, you replied still suspicious but there wasn’t anything you could do anyways.

Jungkook was quick to sense the tension in the air so he gave you both a goodbye before grabbing his drink and practically jogging out of the building.

“So uh how are your um classes going? What’s your major again?”, he nervously asked.

“Oh they’re alright. Lots of work.”, you chuckled, “My major is in marketing with a minor in communications.”

“Wow that’s pretty amazing. You must have big plans for once you graduate.”

“Yeah I guess. Maybe I’ll work for one of your rivals one day.”, you joked getting a laugh out of him.

Jimin seemed to be taking his time getting dinner which left you and Yoongi alone with each other until a familiar face showed up at the counter.

“Hey Namjoon, what are you doing here?”, you asked.

“Hi Y/N, I’m checking out the new art exhibit up the street and thought I’d grab a coffee first. I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Yeah have to get myself through college somehow.”

“Hey a jobs a job. Did you get your results back from Mrs. Cho’s class? That test kicked my ass.”

You giggled, “Yeah tell me about it. I studied for days and still barely squeaked by.”

Yoongi watched the scene unfold before him. “What is going on around here tonight?”, he thought to himself. You flirting with a tall handsome guy with cute dimples who was smart and artistic and friendly and Yoongi felt his blood boil again as he watched him flirt right back. He knew he couldn’t take much more of this.

As soon as Namjoon said goodbye he walked up next to you.

“Maybe we should call Jimin. Knowing him he’s probably going on a shopping spree with your card right now.”, you laughed turning to look at Yoongi.

He stood in front of you not saying anything. His hands were sweating and he felt like he was going to throw up. He leads very important meetings with some of the most powerful people in the world with ease. He’s had to fire people two days before Christmas and didn’t think twice about it. He’s faced his parents and told them off like he had a death wish but it didn’t phase him. But standing here in front of you was the most nervous he had ever been.

“Will you go out with me?”, he blurted out unsure of where this sudden confidence boost came from.

“I’m sorry what?”, you questioned.

“Y/N, will you please go out with me?”

“Like on a date??”

“Yes…like on a date…with me…Min Yoongi…and you…”

Internally you swooned seeing how nervous and flustered he was, but you did your best to remain cool on the outside.

“Yes, I would like to go on a date with you…Min Yoongi.”

You nervously paced around your bedroom that was littered with different dresses and skirts and shoes. Sure you had been on dates before but never with enemy turned lovers that were also successful billionaire ceos.

“Seriously, Yoongi isn’t going to care what you wear. He doesn’t worry about stuff like that.”, Hobi chuckled from where he was laid out on your bed snacking on some of your chips.

“Yeah well I’ve seen the women he’s left the office with over the years and I beg to differ.”

“Yeah and 99% of those women were one night stands that he just used to get his dick wet. Y/N trust me. He likes you more than that.”

“Really?”, you questioned.

Hobi nodded, “He’s been a nervous wreck all week. I swear I’ve had to cancel fifteen different reservations because he never thought the restaurant was good enough. He’s called every florist in the city looking for a bouquet that he felt was pretty enough for you. And you didn’t hear this from me and I’ll throw you right under the bus if you say you did, but he even had Jimin come up to our office yesterday and I heard Yoongi asking him for romance tips.”

“Whaaattt?”, you stated in shock.

“Mmhmm yes ma’am. I know it’s hard to believe, but Yoongi doesn’t usually do romance. He’s more of a fuck ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy. So he is really trying to impress you.”

You knew Hobi was trying to help, but now you were even more nervous than before.

After settling on a simple black dress with your “comfy” heels Hobi left you with a hug and made you promise to text him afterwards so he could get all the details.

Yoongi was exactly on time as he nervously handed you a beautiful bouquet of red, white, and pink roses.

“Thank you. They’re beautiful.”, you smiled quickly placing them in a vase of water.

Offering you his hand he lead you out to a waiting car that quickly sped off to your destination after you were settled in.

“You look very nice tonight Y/N.”, he blushed.

“You looking really nice yourself.”, you added. And he did. He was dressed down from his usual business suit, but somehow still dressed up for the date. He wore perfectly tailored black dress pants and a slim fitting black dress shirt tucked in with the sleeves rolled up just like you liked. He had a few dainty bracelets and some earrings on to accessorize the look which was finished off with his hair lightly styled. His cologne was intoxicating like something you’d never smelled before. Masculine but yet soft and gentle much like the person who was wearing it. He looked incredible and it took everything in you not to beg him to take you in the back of the car right then.

The restaurant, of course, was fancy and expensive and you would have never even set foot in it if it wasn’t for Yoongi.

“I hope this okay. Now that I think about it should’ve asked you where you wanted to go. I’m sorry. We can go somewhere else if you would like. I don’t know if you even like steak.”, he ranted after noticing you staring in awe.

You shook your head, “Yoongi this is great. Everything looks so good. I can’t decide what to get.”

“Well order whatever you want.”, he smiled trying to relax a little.

Dinner went smoothly. The food and drinks were good. Yoongi was a great conversationist once he got rid of some of his nerves. You had a great time and when he walked you back up to your apartment you felt a sense of nervousness about what the next move should be.

As you awkwardly stood in front of your door you could feel the tension between you both until Yoongi broke it and chuckled, “I’m sorry I’m kind of new at all of this. I don’t usually take women on actual dates.”

You laughed along with him, “That’s okay. Just do what feels right to you.”

Taking a step forward he placed his hands on your hips, “Right now it feels right to kiss you.”

“Then do it.”, You replied trying to hide the quiver in your voice.

A simple kiss turned into another turned into hands wandering and undoing belts and removing clothes until you were both naked under the covers of your bed entangled with one another.

When you woke up the following morning with Yoongi’s naked chest pressed closely against your bare back and his arms still tightly wrapped around your waist you felt the most content you had in a long time. A feeling you didn’t know was possible.

“How was your date with Yoongi last night?”, Jin questioned when you walked in for your Saturday evening shift. You looked around surprised. The only people that new about your date were Hobi and Jimin. You knew Hobi and Jin had never even met let alone talked so you through a glare in Jimin’s direction who put his hands up in defense as if to say he had nothing to do with it.

Jin continued, “It’s all over the internet. I knew the two of you would end up together. That’s why I said no office sex.”

In a panic you took out your phone and started searching. Sure enough the first headline you read was ‘MYG INC.’s Min Yoongi Finally Settling Down?’ Another one read ‘Who Is the Mystery Girl That Stole the Heart of One of the Worlds Most Wanted Bachelors’. Both were accompanied by photos of you and Yoongi at the restaurant, driving in his car, and even walking into your apartment building.

“What? I didn’t know we were even being followed.”, you whispered to yourself.

“I wouldn’t worry about it. Must be a slow news day. It’ll be forgotten about by tomorrow.”, Jimin said while clocking in.

You pulled out your phone about to call Yoongi when you already heard his voice behind you.

He leaned on the counter giving you a sad smile.

“What are you doing here?”, you asked.

“I have some work stuff I need to get done so I thought I’d come into the office. I’m guessing you saw the news?”

You nodded, “Yeah I have.”

You noticed that Yoongi seemed uncomfortable maybe even worried about something.

He shook his head, “This is so fucked up. I didn’t think anyone would follow us. The last thing I wanted was for it to get out that I was dating you.”

You looked at him with wide eyes, “Are you embarrassed to be with me?”

Yoongi looked like he could cry. Frantically he reached over to grab your hand shaking his head, “God no Y/N. I would never be embarrassed to be with you. There’s just a lot of crazy people in this world you know and I just want to keep you safe. That’s all.”

Something about his words didn’t sit right with you, but in the moment you chose to let it go.

“I have to get upstairs, but call me at the end of your shift.”, he said leaning in for a kiss before deciding against it after noticing a customer walk up to the counter. Instead giving your hand a quick squeeze before walking to the elevators.

Before you knew it your shift was over. Taking out your phone and sitting down at one of the empty tables you called Yoongi who answered on the first ring like he had been waiting all day for your call.

“Hey baby, How was work?”

“Alright. Jimin tripped and fell face first into a piece of chocolate cake he was carrying which was pretty hysterical.”

Yoongi chuckled at that, “I wish I could’ve seen that. Where are you now?”

“Just sitting next to the cafe. I think I’m going to go home and get something to eat. What about you?”

“I have to have an emergency meeting in a few minutes with our partners in Japan. There was a big dip in profits in that market so we need to figure out a plan. Shouldn’t be too long though.”

“I know you’ll figure it out. Call me when you’re done with your meeting.”

“Hey uh Y/N, how about you go to my place instead?”

“Okay yeah that sounds good? I’ll just stop home and change and then head over.”

“No!…I uh…I mean why go out of your way? My place is just down the street from the office building. I’ll call the guards and let them know to let you in. I’ll text you the address and the entrance code. Just go in and shower, find something of mine to wear, get a snack if you want. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way and I’ll order us dinner.”

“Okkkkaaaay. I’ll see you later.”

“”Alright babe I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight.”

You hung up feeling very confused if not even concerned. You knew you would eventually go to his place, but you didn’t expect it to be so suddenly and with him being so pushy about it too.

“You hanging out with Yoongi tonight?”, Jimin asked taking a seat next to you.

“Uh yeah I guess so. He wants me to go straight to his place.”

“Wow he doesn’t waste any time does he? He’s a man who knows what he wants.”, Jimin chuckled.

You laughed with him, but then were smacked in the face with a sudden realization.

There was no way in hell you were going to let Yoongi, the guy you’ve been dating less than a day and also successful rich ceo, see you in your purple polka dot granny panties and mismatched sports bra. You hadn’t even washed your hair from last night and you definitely could already feel some stubble on your legs. None of this would bother you if you two had been together for a while but with the relationship being so new you still wanted to impresses him. Yoongi did say to head straight for his place, but you knew his “quick” meeting was probably to going to be a while so you could make it home, shower, and change into something nicer and then head to Yoongi’s and he’d never know and you were sure he’d appreciate it.

“Great work today Jimin! Gotta go.”, you said jumping up and running towards the door leaving Jimin behind looking dumbfounded.

Once in your bedroom you grabbed the white lace lingerie set that you thankfully decided to splurge on as a birthday gift to yourself a few months ago and started heading towards your bathroom when you felt someone grab you from behind.

For a minute you thought maybe Yoongi’s meeting really had been quick and he beat you home until an unfamiliar voice spoke, “Gotcha! Don’t fight or make this difficult. It’ll only make it worse for you.“

You tried your best to break free elbowing the guy in the throat and you managed to escape to the bathroom slamming shut and locking the door behind you.

You knew you should’ve called the police first, but at that moment there was only one person you could think about. Quickly you dialed Yoongi’s number, but it went straight to voicemail. He must still be in the meeting and had his phone shut off.

“Yoongi please help me.”, you screamed., “I went home. I’m sorry I know you said not to but I didn’t think anything would happen. There’s a man here. He broke in and he’s trying to kidnap me or something. I need you Yoongi.”Just as you hung up and we’re about to call the police there were now two men who busted through the bathroom door that was separating you from them.

“I told you not to make this difficult.”, the man from earlier spat as he picked you up by your wrists and began dragging you down the hallway. You tried to fight back but ultimately they overpowered you.

“For fucks sake I didn’t think that guy was ever going to shut up.”, Yoongi groaned with a stretch.

“Yeah that meeting took a lot longer than it should have. I’ll have the summary notes typed up and on your desk within an hour.”, Hoseok replied.

“No it can wait until Monday. Go home and relax.”, Yoongi said with a smile.

“Ahhh so not only does my best friend enjoy the benefits of boyfriend Yoongi but I also get them?”, he smirked.

“Go, before I change my mind.”

Hoseok laughed, but quickly exited the office knowing his boss really could change his mind.

Yoongi finally pulled out his phone noticing the missed call and voice email from you. He didn’t think much of it at first until the recording started playing and all the blood drained from his face. He felt like he could pass out.

He grabbed his keys and began sprinting through the office building out to the garage. He jumped in his car speeding off completely barreling through the security gate. He tried calling you over and over but there was no answer.

His car stopped in front of your apartment. Yoongi reached over into the glove box grabbing the loaded hand gun he had hidden there and thanked the stars he decided to drive himself to work today instead of having a driver pick him up like he usually would.

He ran up the six flights of stairs to your floor like they were nothing. The adrenaline running through his body made him feel like he’s was on a high and unstoppable.

Entering your apartment he drew his gun, but then immediately saw the clear signs that there had been a struggle. He checked every room, under the bed, in the closets. He screamed your name, but there was no answer.

He dropped down on the couch before running his hands over his face and groaning, “Fuck! I fucking knew something like this would happen.”

He stood up and walked to the door where right in front of his face was a note that was stabbed into the wall with a bloody knife,

“Min Yoongi, We told you not to fuck with us, but you didn’t listen. Now we have your girl and one of you is going to pay the price to make things right.”

[hungermakesmonsters]

(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Fifteen

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R  Chapter Rating : R

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smut and angst. All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 5.4k

A/N : I'm sorry for using the word buttocks. I'm deeply ashamed rn...

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE | CHAPTER SIX | CHAPTER SEVEN | CHAPTER EIGHT | CHAPTER NINE | CHAPTER TEN | CHAPTER ELEVEN | CHAPTER TWELVE | CHAPTER THIRTEEN | CHAPTER FOURTEEN

MASTER LIST

Chapter Fifteen

Sleeping in until three in the afternoon helped you skip the worst of your hangover, but you didn’t feel any better. In fact you felt like shit.

You hated what you’d done to Matt, hated that you kept dragging Karen into your problems and, most of all, you hated that you kept letting Billy have so much power over you. Something needed to change, you weren’t prepared to carry on that way. You’d reached your lowest point, felt broken in a new and more painful way.

It had to stop.

The idea came upon you slowly, starting as an insidious notion while you were eating breakfast that only seemed to become more insistent as you showered.

You needed to leave.

Every reason you had to stay had evaporated last night. You didn’t belong here with any of them - maybe you didn’t belong anywhere at all. And you were just so so tired of every day feeling so miserable and alone.

Before you really knew what you were doing, you’d stepped out into the penthouse and made your way to the elevator, to the intercom, to your only way out.

The intercom crackled and buzzed far louder than you expected. You hit the button twice and then waited. It was the middle of the day, Lissa was probably sleeping, but impatience got the better of you and you hit the button again. You barely noticed the tears that were rolling down your cheeks, your finger jabbing the button again.

“What are you doing?” 

His voice filled the penthouse and, for a moment, you didn’t dare turn around, you just kept pushing the intercom, over and over, not wanting to face him.

“I said -”

When you felt a hand on your shoulder, you finally turned. 

He was right behind you, far too close for comfort. Billy seemed taken aback by your tears and you took that moment of confusion to pull away from him and to start moving back towards your rooms.

“You win,” you told him, barely keeping your voice from breaking. “I’m done. I’m leaving.”

“What?” 

There was hurt in that word, a pain that he didn’t deserve an ounce of pity for but, still, it turned your stomach to think that you might have upset or hurt him in any way. But that was the difference between you and him, you cared about his pain while he barely even seemed to notice yours.

“I’m leaving,” you said again, “I quit.”

“No,” he said like he didn’t understand, like he couldn’t figure out what had led to the decision. 

“No?” You repeated, heartache and anger filling your voice. How dare he try to fight for you now. “You don’t get to tell me no after everything you’ve done to me, Billy.”

“I -” he started and stopped, uncertain which of his many crimes against you that you were most upset about. “I'm sorry. I fucked up, I know I fucked up, but -”

Against your better judgement you stopped dead in your tracks and turned to face him.

“But what? What excuse do you possibly think you have for keeping me prisoner and lying to my friends?” You asked, your voice getting louder each time he made you respond to him. “This is what you wanted.”

“I didn't want this.” His voice rose to match yours, almost frantic. “I just needed time to -”

“What? Find someone else?” You snapped. “Two someone else’s? Did you take them all to bed last night?”

“No,” he answered just as sharply. “I wanted to - before you, I would have - but they aren’t you. You’re the only one I want.”

“Am I supposed to believe that? After all the lies?”

“I just spent the last few weeks trying to get you out of my head, but I can’t.” An uneasy desperation started to fill his voice, every word sounding more fraught than you’d ever heard him. “You’re like sunlight, I - I can’t stop thinking about how you feel and, when I’m not with you, I miss you so fucking much.”

“Stop lying to me!” Your own voice turning just as fraught, hating that he was doing this to you now that you’d made the difficult decision to leave.

You started moving again, getting closer to the door leading to your rooms and, of course, Billy realised that if you reached your bedroom, he wouldn’t be able to follow. When you tried to open the adjoining door, you soon found his hand on it, stopping you. You turned, pressing back against the wood, trying to create some space between you as you glared at him, silently demanding he move.

“Please, just listen to me,” he tried again.

“Why?”

“Because losing you would kill me.”

His confession seemed to suck all the air from the room and, while every rational part of you was screaming at you not to believe him, the way he said it sounded so certain, so raw. 

“You wanted to send me away,” you told him again. “You wanted me to leave.”

“I wanted you to be safe,” he said, his gaze dropping to your broken arm, his voice breaking. “Just look at you, look what I did...”

He’d been so cold and emotionless after it had happened, when he’d first asked you to leave, but hearing him now, seeing the look on his face... you finally understood just how much the situation had fucked him up. It seemed like your decision to leave had unnerved him enough to force some honesty from him.

You couldn’t speak. It felt like all the anger had drained from you and, instead, there was something else inside you, the sort of pain that you couldn’t put a name to. He’d hurt you. Over and over. And you weren’t going to make excuses for him, but now he was finally letting you see how much it had hurt him too, it left you feeling unsettled.

“I thought I could let you go if it meant you’d be safe,” he muttered, his gaze still fixed on your cast.

“And now?”

You watched as he took a shuddered breath, tension coiling in his body as he struggled to find the words. The silence seemed to stretch on and all you could hear was the echo of your heart, pounding in your chest. And you knew Billy could hear it too. 

With every second that passed in silence, you started to lose hope.

“You terrify me,” he confessed in a whisper. “Everything about you, the way you make me feel; it’s all terrifying to me. And I can’t - I don’t understand it.”

You didn’t dare speak, wanting him to continue without prompt or provocation. Anything he said had to be because he wanted to say it. This was his chance to finally be honest and lay all of his cards on the table before you left. So, you waited, barely breathing as he seemed to fight with every rational part of himself to say the words.

“I wish I could stop feeling like this. I wish I could just let you go.”

“Why can’t you?” Your voice broke as you tried to hold back a flood of fresh tears. “You don’t want me, so why keep me here?”

“Stop saying that. Of course I want you. It kills me how much I want you,” he told you, still not looking at you, still staring at your arm, his head hung. “But it kills me just as much knowing that I’ll lose you no matter what I do. Even if you stayed by my side the rest of your life, and I’d still have to watch you grow old and slip away from me.”

Your breath caught, realising you’d never thought of it that way. When you’d told him you wanted to stay, you hadn’t been thinking about the future, about spending your life with him. But Billy wasn’t like you, a year to him would seem like nothing in the grand scheme of things. So would your lifetime. 

“You’ll grow old and die, and you’d miss out on so much because of me. There’s so many things I can’t give you… so many things you deserve...”

The thing that hurt most of all was how he’d obviously thought all of it through, how he’d considered what a future together would look like, but he hadn’t once tried to talk to you about it to find out what you wanted.

“I know I can’t keep you, but it’s just -” he let out an agitated huff “- it’s not fair. You’re the one person who makes this life, this existence bearable, and you hate me. You were the best thing to happen to me and I ruined it. I just wanted a little more time...”

Finally he looked up, his jaw clenching uncomfortably, his dark eyes shining with unshed tears.

“I don’t want to hurt you again but I don’t want you to go,” he almost pleaded. “Please, don’t go...”

It was your turn to talk, the moment to stick to your guns and tell him you were leaving, but the words just wouldn’t come. Tears were still rolling down your cheeks and you hated how much pain you were both in. Finally, he’d been honest and it was enough to make you wish he’d stuck with his lies.

“Please, say something,” he said after a minute had passed in silence.

“I’m tired, Billy,” you confessed, “I’m so tired of everything always being a fight or an argument...” 

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I’ve put you through all of this.”

He dared to reach for you, his fingers brushing over the back of your hand, a ghost of a touch. But that touch was a comfort that you had been desperately craving, a comfort that you’d tried to find with Matt the night before, a comfort that you were finally realising only Billy could provide.

“Everything seems so pointless without you,” he muttered.

As much as you wanted to deny it, you felt the exact same way.

You loved him and nothing was going to change that.

Your heart stuttered, your hand slowly turning, cautiously letting your fingers brush against his before lacing them together and taking hold of his hand. A relieved sound escaped him and you felt his fingers tighten around yours.

“I won't hurt you again,” he promised and, this time, you actually believed him.

He reached for your cheek, thumb gently wiping away your tears.

A minute must have passed and neither of you seemed willing to move or pull away, so Billy cleared the distance and kissed you. It was soft at first, a tender reaffirmation and reignition of all the feelings you’d been trying to snuff out. He pressed closer, the kiss eventually turning more heated until his body was against yours and your broken arm was wrapped around him, cast pressing into his back and pulling him against you.

It was a slow descent into frenzy, but you both seemed to know where it was heading.

When he lifted you off your feet, your legs wrapped around him. You barely paid attention to where he was taking you, too caught up in his kiss.

Under different circumstances you might have taken a moment to realise that you were finally seeing his bedroom; you would have paid more attention to the dark and cold colour scheme and the smattering of photographs on the wall, or maybe you would have noticed the large walk-in closet, filled with his suits. But all you saw was the bed and all you wanted to pay attention to was Billy.

He kept kissing you and, by the time he put you down, your legs felt weak.

You both moved on auto-pilot, both needing and wanting so desperately that undressing each other was just a formality. There was no wonderment in slowly uncovering him because you’d seen him so many times and, this time, you were aching for so much more. You barely even pulled back from the kiss to look at him as his shirt, then pants, fell away.

Once you were both down to your underwear, you reached for him, your hand cupping his cock, feeling how it was already throbbing and hard for you, the tip already peeking out from beneath the elastic waistband of his boxers.

“Hummingbird,” he groaned as deft fingers unhooked your bra and pulled it away from you.

His hands slid up your stomach to your breasts, kneading the soft flesh and tracing his thumbs over your achingly hard nipples. He kissed you again, languidly and slowly. Your hand cupped him and stroked him through his boxers, earning another groan that you happily swallowed down, his hips moving, gently pressing himself into your touch.

A hand gripped your waist as he slowly guided you backwards. When you felt the bed against the back of your legs, you moved, climbing onto it and pulling him with you, 

You fell back, legs instinctively parting for him, allowing him to settle between your thighs. He tested the water by pressing his hips down against yours, letting you feel the hard length of his cock against you.

“Billy,” you gasped, arching your body into his.

“What do you need, hummingbird?” He asked, though you were already certain that he knew the answer.

“You, Billy,” you answered, already breathless, “I need you.”

He reached down between your bodies, cupping you through your panties, biting his lip when he felt just how wet they were. Billy didn’t bother trying to remove them, he settled for tearing them away from your body.

“You’re so wet already,” he said, wasting no time before pushing a finger inside you, causing your back to arch. He pulled it out just as quick before pushing in two and starting to fuck you with them.

“Billy,” you moaned with the intensity of it. 

It had been over six weeks since he’d last touched you, but he hadn’t forgotten a thing. You cried out as his fingers curled inside you, your walls clenching around him, gripping him tight. But it wasn’t his fingers you wanted, and Billy seemed to know that.

“I know,” he muttered as he pressed his lips to your neck. “Soon, hummingbird, I just need to make sure you’re ready for me...”

“Please...” you heard yourself begging, completely losing yourself to him.

“First you’re going to take my fingers, then my tongue, and then you’ll get my cock,” he told you.

Just the thought of it had you shivering.

Your breath caught as a third finger slipped inside you, stretching you and pushing you closer to an orgasm you didn’t have permission to have. At some point, your fingers had tangled in his hair and you were tugging far harder than you should.

“Do you want to come for me?” He whispered into your ear, and all you could do was keen in response. “Then come for me, little hummingbird.”

It was automatic, your body doing exactly as he wanted. You cried out and moaned his name as your walls started to convulse and flutter around his fingers. Fingers that kept moving, dragging out the sensation of ecstacy. You pulled his lips to yours and kissed him, trembling and moaning as his tongue found yours.

But he didn’t linger. Soon he was moving down your body, lips and tongue trailing a clear path from your lips, over your chest and stomach, and down to the apex of your thighs. You shivered in anticipation, seeing his dark eyes staring up at you from between your legs, his fingers parting your folds and -

“Billy,” you cried out as his tongue slid against your trembling flesh.

Your back arched and you tried to lift your hips to press against his mouth, but Billy quickly gripped your thighs and held you in place, determined to stay in control of your pleasure. His tongue moved to your clit, licking with the lightest pressure, barely a ghost of a touch but it was enough to have you breathless.

Finally his attention moved lower, lapping against your slick entrance before pressing the tip inside. If he hadn’t been holding you so tightly, so possessively, your hips would have shot off the bed but, instead, all you could do was cry out as his tongue continued to lick into you.

At some point, your fingers had found their way to his hair again and you were holding him just as tightly as he was holding you, trying to pull him against him, demanding more. And Billy didn’t disappoint. 

He fucked you with his tongue, not stopping to give you permission to come but, instead, fixing you with a hungry look. 

Your whole body tensed before you came on his tongue, but Billy didn’t stop. He continued to devour you, returning his attention to your clit, pushing you from one orgasm right into the next.

“Please,” you begged, feeling like you were about to shatter into a million tiny pieces, “no more. I can’t take any more.”

And, finally, he relented. Billy crawled back up your body, his chin and lips glistening with your wetness. He kissed you eagerly and your lips parted for him, tasting yourself in his mouth, while your hands forced his boxers down.

You’d already come three times, but just the press of his cock at your wet entrance was enough to make your breath catch. You were already intimately familiar with how big he was but it still made you nervous. Looking down you watched him tease his tip between your folds until it glistened with a mixture of your arousal and his own pre-cum.

Then, his cock surged into you, filling you in one rough thrust, catching you off-guard and causing your over-sensitive pussy to tremble as you struggled to adjust to his size. He pulled back before filling you again and again before coming to an abrupt stop buried deep inside you, leaving you shaking beneath him.

He looked down at you, a mixture of remorse and shame on his face and it took you a moment to realise why; he thought he was being too rough with you.

You reached for him, your hand pressing against his cheek. 

“It’s okay,” you told him softly, “I don’t want you to hold back.”

“But what if I -” he started and you shook your head.

“Are you here with me? Are you in control?” You asked and Billy gave a definite nod. “Then fuck me, Billy.” You told him, feeling your cheeks warm at how brazen it sounded.

You moaned as you felt him start to move again, every hard inch taking what he needed from you, every thrust causing your walls to flutter and clench, gripping him tight. Everything had been building to this moment, months of foreplay finally leading somewhere. It was no wonder he couldn’t hold back. 

“Fuck, hummingbird, you keep gripping my cock like that and I’m not going to last,” he groaned through gritted teeth. “Is that what you want? You want me to come inside you?”

No words left your mouth, just an eager, desperate moan as you stared up at him, lust and desire written all over his handsome face, putting to rest any lingering doubts that you had about his feelings for you.

He kissed you again and again, and you lost yourself to everything he was doing to you. You lost yourself to him. Every time he pulled back, he left you feeling empty and every time he plunged forward left you feeling like all your prayers had been answered.

“Come for me,” he demanded, as if he knew it was building in you before you did.

As commanded, your body started to shudder, coming undone as you moaned his name. His hips slowed, leisurely fucking you through another orgasm, sending more desperate sparks of arousal through your body. It was overwhelming. It was too much and not enough at the same time. You weren’t sure you could go on but you were certain that you couldn’t stop. You wanted more. You wanted everything.

And luckily for you, Billy was just getting started.

“You good?” He asked, his fingers brushing sweat slicked  hair away from your brow.

“Yeah,” you answered breathlessly, too overcome to even force a smile. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” he answered, “do you want to keep going?”

“Yeah.”

Billy smiled, kissing you softly, still moving slowly, waiting until your walls finally stopped trembling so much.

He gripped your leg, his hand behind your knee, pulling it upwards, opening you to him, while his other hand reached over you to grip the headboard. For a second he paused, looking down at you, waiting for permission. You bit your lip before nodding.

Nothing could have prepared you for the intensity of what followed. He pulled back slowly before plunging his thick cock into you again, deeper than before, making you realise that you hadn’t taken all of him before then. You let out an incomprehensible cry as you felt his tip graze your cervix, the sensation causing you to clench around him.

Looking down between your bodies, you watched as he started to fuck you, his hips setting a relentless pace, his grip on the headboard helping his powerful movements as he pushed you down into the mattress with each thrust. You felt out of control. No, you felt like you were giving control to Billy, letting him have it because you knew that was what he needed.

“Look at me,” he demanded, sounding just as breathless as you were.

Your eyes found his, and that sight alone was almost enough to make you come. His jaw was clenched and his unblinking eyes were watching every flicker of emotion that passed your face. He was looking at you like there was nothing else in the world, like he was committing every second of this to memory and leaving you feeling more wanted than you ever had.

“My hummingbird,” he groaned, “I’ll never let you go.”

You couldn’t answer, not when every rough, rapid-fire thrust of his hips was forcing moan after moan from you. 

Your hands slipped down his back over cold, sweat-slicked skin, right the way down until your fingers were gripping his buttocks, pressing your fingernails into his flesh. That only seemed to spur him on, moving faster, harder, claiming you with every shift of his hips.

“I want to feel you come again,” he told you.

This time you tried to hold back, fighting every urge that told you to give into the pleasure, wanting it to last, wanting Billy to keep fucking you into the mattress. But then you felt his hand on your throat, just beneath your chin, not squeezing, but gripping tight enough to get your full atention.

“I said I want to feel you come,” his voice almost became a growl, his fingers tentatively tightening their grip on your throat.

You couldn’t deny him. You don't want to, not when you were completely at his mercy. This sudden escalation should have scared you, but some part of you trusted him, some part of you was enjoying this and was desperate for more. Finally, there was no doubt in your mind that he wanted this, wanted you.

Your head fell back as the first wave of your orgasm crashed over you, his fingers gripping tighter as he continued to drive his cock into you. You swore and cried out his name, over and over as he forced you through the most intense climax of your life. Your vision went white and Billy kept going until you couldn’t take any more.

He pulled out suddenly, leaving your body desperately clenching and grasping around nothing, feeling unbearably empty. Your whole body shuddered with the intensity of it all, and Billy just watched as you fell apart for him. It seemed to go on and on, your body shaking uncontrollably, your eyes refusing to focus. You felt starved for touch, and even though you were falling apart, you felt needy and desperate for more than just the touch of his fingers on your throat.

Billy didn’t move until the worst of the tremors had subsided, pulling his hand from your throat as he lowered himself over you again. His lips pressed against yours in a chaste and gentle kiss, a tenderness in his eyes, as he slowly sank his cock back into your sensitive pussy. 

This time his movements were gentle, allowing you to really enjoy the feel of him inside you. Your fingers slipped through his hair and even though he was being so gentle now, you still felt tender and overwhelmed. It felt like something had broken inside of you, like he’d managed to fuck your head empty, and now all you could think about was him and how good it felt everytime he filled you with his cock.

His hands framed your face, holding you as he kissed you, and it felt like everything had been leading to this moment. Now that you’d both sated the urgent desires that had been building in you over the last few months, you could finally take your time with each other. 

You lost yourself in the gentle kiss, in the feeling of him loving you and not just fucking you, slowly climbing towards another orgasm and, this time, Billy seemed primed to join you. 

Towards the end, he started to pick up speed, his groans stacking, his face buried against your neck.

“Come, hummingbird,” he grunted.

The moment you let go, you felt him start to pulse inside you, the sensation causing you to shiver. He gave a couple more thrusts before finally stilling deep inside you, groaning against your neck as his orgasm gripped him.

When you’d pictured sex with Billy, this was not how it had played out, this was not how you saw it ending. You felt boneless, completely overwhelmed and exhausted. For a few moments you couldn’t tell where you ended and he began. And, when he finally pulled out, you felt the telltale trickle of cum between your thighs.

For the next couple of hours he held you. Neither of you spoke, both having said so much already. You drifted in and out of sleep, always waking to find him holding you securely, his cold body pressed to your back. 

You were half-asleep when you felt his fingers between your legs, parting your folds and guiding his cock into you. Your back arched against his chest as he started to fuck you from behind, letting out a soft moan as he teased your clit. His free hand gripped your chin, turning your head so he could kiss you, slipping his tongue between your lips before you could think to say anything.

His movements started off slow and sensual, letting you enjoy the sensations of him moving inside you and the way your body stretched to accommodate him. You still felt tender from earlier but any discomfort was quickly forgotten.

“Fuck, hummingbird,” he muttered against your lips, “your tight little pussy takes me so well...”

“Billy,” you moaned, eyes fluttering shut, still exhausted but wanting more.

“I’ll never get over the way you grip my cock. It’s like you were made just for me,” he continued in that low, seductive mutter. “Can you feel it?

“Yes,” you whined as your hand awkwardly reached behind you to settle on his hip, wanting to touch him.

It stayed like that for a few long minutes, Billy taking his time with you, smiling at every gasp and moan he managed to pull from you.

Then, without warning, he started to rut into you, his movements becoming desperate and sloppy until you felt him twitch and pulse inside you. You started to shift your hips, clumsily riding him as he spilled inside you. Realising that you hadn’t come, he resumed teasing your clit and groaned in your ear.

“Come for me, hummingbird,” he pleaded and you soon did as you were asked.

“I love you,” you moaned, turning to press your face into the pillow as your body succumbed to the pleasure coursing through it.

All Billy gave was a hum in response. There was no question in your mind that he’d heard those three little words, even as his body shivered behind you, and he lost himself in his own pleasure. After everything, you didn’t expect to hear it back, you didn’t expect him to confess more than he already had. You just wanted him to know.

You let out a soft whine as he pulled out, too exhausted to move or lift your head again, your eyes closing. Billy pulled you tight against him and held you there until you fell asleep again.

The next time you woke, it was to Billy getting out of bed. You watched him stroll into his walk-in wardrobe and he didn’t notice you were awake until he returned with a suit and shirt.

“I’m really sorry,” he told you softly, “I have to go in to work for a few hours, Frank’ll kill me if I don’t, but you can stay in here and rest and I’ll see you when I get home?” 

There was something in his voice that almost made it feel like he was asking your permission, like he didn’t know how you were going to react. Honestly, you weren’t sure how you wanted to react; you’d just spend the afternoon having the most earth-shattering sex of your life, and now he needed to go to work.

“Okay,” you muttered sleepily, knowing you couldn’t keep him from his job, not after all the time he’d already lost.

You watched as he headed into his bathroom and you listened as he took a quick shower before emerging dressed and ready to go. If you had been so tired you would have appreciated the sight of him in his light grey suit, looking devilishly handsome. Instead you could barely lift your head when he kissed you goodbye.

Around half an hour after he left, you managed to get up and return to your rooms. You took a long shower, exhausted but unable to keep your mind from racing over everything that had happened and what that meant going forward.

Everything he’d said, the way he’d looked at you when you were together; it was too much. It played over and over in your head until it became deafening in the silence of the penthouse. He’d been right about everything. You suddenly understood why he’d tried so hard to keep some distance between you, why he’d never wanted anything beyond the physical. You knew that losing you to illness or old age would kill him.

And you loved him far too much to put him through that.

You were left with only one option; hurt him now to save him from more pain later.

(Or maybe it wasn’t that at all, maybe you were just scared that he was going to hurt you again. As much as you hated yourself for your little admission of love during sex, it still caused your stomach to knot thinking about how he hadn’t said it back. What if he never said it?)

It wasn’t long before you found yourself by the intercom again, pressing the button, waiting for a response and, when you finally heard Lissa’s voice...

“I need my things, I want to leave...”

End Note : 😅😅😅😅 like I said last week 'trust me, I have a plan'. At least they actually got to fuck this time 😅 Also, just as a potential warning, I'm not 100% sure if next weeks chapter will be on time; I'm away for a couple of days and my birthday is next weekend. I have already started chapter 16 though so I will try to get it posted at the normal time. If I can't get it done, I'll post something to let people know and probably try to post two chapters the week after.

Also, I now have an AO3 account (it's hungermakesmonsters) I'm planning on posting things there as well as here but things will probably always end up on tumblr first, so don't feel like you have to follow me there or anything. As always, thanks for all your support and the likes/screaming in the comments/reblogs! Have a great weekend!

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters! If tagging doesn't work for some reason (aka Tumblr being dumb) I post most Fridays around 7:30 gmt.

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[happiest-hotch]

Dinner for Three

Summary: Going to the BAU with the intention of dragging your boyfriend away from working all night proves to be a good decision when you meet a team member of his who needs some cheering up based on the ending scene of 11x09 with an Aaron Hotchner x reader component

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader (fluff)

Word Count: 1.7k

Content Warning: a very slight sexual reference

You're slightly disappointed when you get Aaron's call.

He'd left the BAU early that night to pick you up for your 8 pm dinner date. It hadn't worked, and he texted you something cryptic about a new case involving a longer-running case that concerned the team's technical analyst.

As always, he was incredibly apologetic, calling you as soon as he had a chance, but you don't mind. You know how important his job is and the sacrifices he has to make. Plus, the other times this has happened, he more than made it up to you, proving to be the sweet boyfriend you know he is.

He texts you the next night to let you know they're still working, but he's okay and in Virginia. It's so late that you don't get a chance to text him back until the morning, and you're just hoping he got some sleep during the night, but it doesn't seem likely.

On the second night, he's more upbeat, delivering the good news about his case closing. Oddly, you don't get another message that he's on his way into DC.

With your own profiling effort, you deduce he went to the BAU and got stuck into his paperwork, no doubt putting eating and sleeping at the bottom of his priority list. As a diligent girlfriend, you're walking out the door of your apartment to force him to leave to get something to eat before you can overthink about having never been to his office or the possibility he might not want to see you.

After making it through security and proving who you're there to see, you take the elevator to the sixth floor. It's dead silent, probably because it's close to 10 at night.

Aside from the fluorescent overhead lights in the bullpen and the corridor, the only other light on is an office on the left after you step off the elevator.

It has to be Aaron's since he's most likely the only one here, you reason as you walk toward the door. Gently you tap on the doorframe, but the woman inside definitely isn't your boyfriend.

There are personal belongings in the office, clothing, and boxes scattered on the sofa and table, and two suitcases on the floor, like someone's been living out of the office, and judging by the jacket's pattern, it could be the woman in the room.

She jumps when she sees you, and you quickly apologize. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

She shakes her head. "No. No, it's okay."

Then you realize it's weird that you're just standing there without an explanation, a total stranger. "I'm looking for Aaron Hotchner."

Nervousness flashes across her features. "Agent Hotchner is due back soon. Sorry, who are you?"

It's a question you expected, knowing you might bump into other agents, despite hoping you wouldn't. Aaron has told you about how he keeps his personal life, and therefore you, further away from his professional life than he used to, and you're not sure he'd want his team to know who you are.

You also should have anticipated the suspicion in her voice since people out there want to hurt them and could find their way into the offices to do so.

"His...friend." You settle on. It doesn't even sound right to say anymore. "Although, if he said that about me, he'd be in trouble." You joke mostly to yourself.

She looks more excited now, grinning like a little kid who's found a secret block of chocolate. "I'm Penelope Garcia, the BAU's technical analyst."

"Oh, of course. Aaron talks a lot about you." You tell her, putting a face to the stories as you shake her hand. "I'm Y/n L/n."

"The reason he smiles every time he checks his phone nowadays?" She asks, now eager.

Heat rises to your cheeks. You've seen the smile Penelope's talking about when you catch Aaron looking at you before he bashfully looks away. It's adorable and heartwarming to think about him doing it around his colleagues and probably trying to hide it.

"Sometimes." You downplay it. "It could be him getting a picture of Jack."

She shakes her head. "No, he shows us those. Texts ding on his phone, and he tries to hide his smile, and that's how we know it's not BAU-related. Theories about what they are and who they're from is the hottest gossip around here."

"It better be me then." You say, although you have no doubts that it is. "Otherwise, he's got some explaining to do."

Penelope laughs lightly. "Don't worry. He's about as loyal as they come."

You had come to that conclusion by yourself, but it's good to have it verified by someone who has known him for over a decade.

She catches your eyes wandering around the room and explains it. "I don't know how much you know, but I'm on lockdown here until further notice."

"Aaron mentioned it vaguely." You tell her. "I'm sorry. It must suck." It's not the most aesthetically pleasing home with bleak concert walls, generic lamps, and no closet. She's provided you with information about Aaron's whereabouts and character, so it's your turn to try and help her. "This couch wouldn't look as bad with some sheets, and I'm sure you've got some decorations. I can help. Only if you'd like, no pressure."

Instantly, she sees the optimistic side of you that Aaron admires and loves. "Yeah." Penelope agrees slowly. "Thank you."

She hasn't wanted to take anything out of her bags because it means this nightmare would be real, but you're offering to help, and she realizes she could do with a friend. If she happened to stumble across information about her boss during the process, then so be it. 

You help her brighten up the room, complimenting her comfort decorations.

"So, what's it like to be in a relationship with Aaron Hotchner?" She asks you as she fluffs the throw pillows on the couch, and you hang fairy lights.

After ten minutes of non-Aaron-related talk, you know she's been refraining from asking questions about your relationship. 

"Amazing." You answer effortlessly. "He's..." You trail off from your sentence when someone clears their throat, and you turn around to see your handsome but tired-looking boyfriend standing in the doorway. "Hey."

His expression softens seeing you there, but his features show confusion. "Hey." He returns while acknowledging Penelope with a nod as he steps further into the room. The hand not holding his briefcase comes to rest on your lower back, and you lean into his warmth. "What are you doing here?"

You weren't expecting him to show you physical affection in front of people he knows, but it's a welcomed surprise. "I thought I'd come and convince you not to sit at your desk doing paperwork all night."

He avoids being very unprofessional and asking exactly how you planned to distract him since you're under the careful observation of Penelope, who's memorizing your interaction to repeat to the team tomorrow. 

"There are still a few things we need to go over, Garcia," Aaron says to her. About the case they just closed, you figure, but it can't be overwhelmingly good news because he wouldn't stretch out telling her that she's safe. "Are you going to be okay?"

You admire her bravery as she nods with tears filling her vision. "I'm gonna make myself a vegetarian omelet for dinner." She says before pausing. "Do you both want to stay?" She quickly backtracks. "Forget that. You've probably got places to be, sorry."

Aaron looks to you for your judgment, and although he's letting you decide since this would typically be time you two spend together, there's an answer he would prefer. 

"No, we've got nothing planned, and I'm starving." You confirm. Penelope's face lights up, the sadness she's holding onto about her new living quarters feeling less heavy. "Do you have jalapenos?" 

"Do I have jalapenos?" She repeats, suggesting an obvious answer. She moved to grab the ingredients. "I should let you know that I have had a love affair with all things hot and spicy since I was, like, 12."

You smile at her delight as Aaron takes the chopping board she handed him with a bowl full of jalapenos. "Maybe the more important question is will you judge me for putting them on my food even if they make me cry a little?" You ask, nudging Aaron, who knows the incident you're referencing.

She looks at him in horror before turning back to you. "Is there any other way to eat them?" She asks.

"Someone." You nod to Aaron, who's getting to work on his task. "Eats spicy food without even tearing up."

He snorts out a laugh. "You weren't crying 'a little.'" He reminds you, defending himself playfully. "It was full-on crying with mascara tracks down your cheeks. You should have seen her, Penelope." He continues. "Seriously, I thought we were about to get kicked out of that restaurant. The waitress was so concerned." He laughs at the memory. He concluded that night that your crying with pleasure tendency is much better when it's only the two of you.

You lightly hit him on the shoulder to scold him before letting your hand linger to test the boundaries. He relaxes under your touch, muscles relaxing a little.

"It's a natural reaction." You jokingly argue back. "I'm on a spicy food ban at restaurants now." You inform Penelope.

"Oh, you've got to come to the next pasta night at Rossi's." She tells you. "It's the best food you can get, no jalapenos involved."

You look to Aaron for permission, not wanting to agree to something if he doesn't want you around his friends. He smiles lightly at you, now knowing introducing you and merging two parts of his life isn't as risky as he thought it might be.

"I'd love that." You agree. "Ready for that, Aaron?"

"Please agree." Penelope jumps in. "They'll love her. Don't worry." She assures you. "I'll make sure the team knows how perfect you are for him." 

Aaron chuckles beside you. "I don't doubt that." 

There's a double meaning that you and Aaron catch. Most obviously, Aaron knows the team will find out about your dinner together and probably learn every detail about you that they can before you officially meet, and additionally, he doesn't have any doubts that you're perfect for him.

[queenshelby]

An Illicit Affair

Part Nine: The Turmoil

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (46) x Reader (23)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

After leaving the lobby, Cillian felt conflicted about how to handle his situation. On one hand, he wanted to preserve his marriage after all he had invested in it, but on the other hand, he found himself increasingly drawn to you.

As he approached the elevator, he wondered if he had the strength to confront his feelings directly. He knew deep down that his relationship with you was not sustainable, especially because of the potential fallout it could have on his family, not only with his wife but also his son. In addition, he realized that there would not be a future with you. This affair was not going to go anywhere other than being exactly that, an affair.

Deep down inside, Cillian knew that logical approach would be to end his fling with you right now and to sever ties completely and salvage what fragments remained of his marriage. But how could he do that when he was so infatuated with you? He had never felt this kind of excitement and attraction towards anyone before.

He desperately wished he could rip the ticking clock out of the air and halt reality altogether. If only he could freeze time in that moment, then maybe he wouldn't hurt anyone. However, the cruel hand of fate forced him to make difficult decisions.

His conscience weighed heavy on his shoulders as he trudged toward the door of his room, mentally preparing himself for the conversation ahead, asking you to leave and end this doomed affair.

"Why am I even entertaining these thoughts?" he pondered aloud, stopping halfway down the hallway, his palms sweating profusely.

"I know that it's wrong," he reasoned, halting outside room 309.  "I shouldn't be doing this," he whispered to himself, the sound echoing eerily in the deserted hallway. His heart pounded erratically in his chest, his palms sweaty and clammy.

Cillian closed his eyes momentarily, collecting his thoughts before inserting the key-card into the door to his room and opening it slowly and, as soon as he stepped inside, he laid his eyes on your naked form.

You lay on the bed, propped up on your elbows, waiting for him impatiently.

"Hello stranger," you called out, watching him stand motionless in the doorway for several seconds. "That took a while longer than I had expected," you smirked playfully and the sight of you caught his breath away. He stood frozen in place, he couldn't help but admire your perfect nakedness.

"Hey," he finally managed to utter, attempting to break the spellbinding silence. "How was your bath?" he then asked politely, stepping tentatively into the room.

"It was refreshing," you replied casually. "But it would have been much better if you had kept me company," you then winked before crawling towards the edge of the bed seductively. 

"Y/N, I...," he began to say, trying to talk to you but, as soon a he approached the bed, he was silenced by your lips.

"Shhh," you hushed seductively, capturing his lips with yours.

The sudden heat of your body overwhelmed him, and he struggled to maintain his composure. He felt the pull of temptation stronger than ever before wanting to tear off his pants and join you under the sheets.

"Fuck," he groaned against your lips, your sweet scent filling his nostrils, making him weak in the knees as you started to fumble with his belt.

"No, wait," he gasped, catching you by the wrists. "We can't," he protested weakly, the battle raging within him. You arched an eyebrow at him, watching the internal struggle playing out on his face.

"What's wrong?" you prodded softly, tilting your head to the side. "I should not be doing this," he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes. "I have to talk to you," he confessed, his voice thick with emotion.

"You are having second thoughts about this again, aren't you?" you observed shrewdly, your voice barely audible. 

"Maybe," he admitted, his voice cracking slightly. "I just don't know what to do anymore," he confessed, the turmoil evident in his voice, causing you to swallow harshly and pull away.

Reaching for the sheets to cover yourself you set down with a sigh.

"You feel guilty about sleeping with me, because you want to be loyal to your wife," you said softly, your voice cracking slightly. 

"Actually," Cillian corrected you, pausing for a moment. "No, I do not feel guilty about sleeping with you because of my wife, which makes this so fucking confusing," he sighed, raking his hands through his hair.

"My marriage is broken. It has been broken for a long time and, yet, somehow I just can't justify this affair, mainly because of the damage it might cause down the track," he confessed, his voice quivering. "I know that it's morally wrong to be with you and I know that I need to end this," he explained, looking at you imploringly. "But goddamnit Y/N, I just can't," he growled, his voice breaking.

"Because spending time with me make you feel good?" you asked Cillian, watching him carefully. Your voice was quiet yet determined, challenging him to speak honestly.

"Yes, being with you feels so fucking good," Cillian replied, the words escaping his lips with difficulty. "I never expected to find this kind of connection with someone, but I also know that, given where I am in my life right now, this affair won't go anywhere. It is destined to come to an end eventually, so why fucking risk my marriage for it?" he confessed, his gaze locked on yours.

The atmosphere between you intensified, the tension palpable. You reached out to brush a stray strand of hair behind his ear, admiring the beauty of his features. His skin was smooth yet rugged, betraying the battles he had fought in both life and love.

"Why risk your already broken marriage?" you asked softly, reaching out to touch Cillian's cheek. "I don't know Cillian, but the way I see it is that you don't have as much to lose as you think and whether this affair goes anywhere or not does not really matter," you trembled beneath your fingertips, his pulse pounding furiously in his veins.

"And why doesn't it matter?" Cillian asked, confused as your fingers began trailing along his jawline.

"I mean, every second with you makes me feel good Y/N, but we won't have a future together. I will never be able to commit to you," Cillian responded, his voice cracking slightly. 

"And I don't expect you to Cillian," you responded softly, your voice trembling slightly. "I don't expect you to commit to me and I don't expect you to make me any promises for the future," you implored him, stroking his cheek softly. "Right now, with you, I am simply living in the moment and, perhaps, if you are unhappy in your marriage, you should do the same to find out what it is that you really want," you offered him a soft smile as you watched his face contort in confusion.

"Let me ask you something," you then went on to say. "Do you think your marriage can be saved or are you just prolonging the inevitable until Max takes enough responsibility to look after himself?" you asked Cillian gently, touching his hand tenderly.

"We both know it is the latter," Cillian sighed heavily, caressing your fingers lovingly. "I feel like I owe him to try and work things out with his mother. We have been married for so long, and there's history there," Cillian murmured, his grip tightening around your hand. 

"Max is an adult," you reminded him gently, noticing the strain in his voice. "And I think that you have a right to focus on yourself and your own happiness as well," you encouraged him, squeezing his hand lovingly. "But, if you do still love your wife then I really don't want to stand in between you," you added truthfully.

"I don't," Cillian responded, tearing up slightly. "And I can't believe I am actually saying this, but I have fallen out of love with her a long time ago," he admitted, the pain evident in his voice. "Danielle and I were young and naïve when we got married," he sighed, tracing the lines on your palm with his thumb. "But I was hoping that, with time, things would change. That we would become closer. And it took me many years to accept that we never will," he confessed, his voice strained.

"So what do you want to do now?" you asked curiously, watching him intently. "I can leave if you like," you told him. "No hard feelings," you added, the words spilling out of your mouth in a rush. You didn't want to force anything, nor did you want him to feel pressured to choose between you and his wife. But as the words left your mouth, you could hear the desperate undertone to your voice.

"Don't leave," Cillian whispered hoarsely, his voice sounding more defeated than you had ever heard it before. He pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you tightly and held you close to his chest.

You listened to his heartbeat thrumming against your chest, your bodies melding together seamlessly.

"You are right,” Cillian murmured softly, his voice strained with emotion. "I deserve to be happy too sometimes," he sighed, kissing your forehead tenderly without telling you about all the bad he had experienced Max's mother, including the threats against his career and past jealousy over nothing.

"Then tell me, how can I possibly make you happy?" you teased him gently, turning your face to the side, hiding your face in his shirt.

"Well, I might have some ideas," Cillian smiled before pushing your back onto the mattress gently but firmly. He leaned down and kissed the top of your nose affectionately. "But remember, I can't promise anything," he whispered, brushing a lock of hair away from your face.

"I don't expect any promises," you responded softly, locking your arms around his neck, pulling him closer towards you. "I just want to enjoy the moments we have together," you whispered sincerely, nibbling on his earlobe gently.

"Me too," Cillian agreed, his voice husky and thick with desire.

He lowered his lips to yours, kissing you passionately, his tongue exploring your mouth hungrily. You melted into his arms, surrendering to the intoxicating sensations coursing through your veins.

"Cillian," you moaned quietly, arching into his touch as he explored your body eagerly. He teased your nipples with his thumbs, sending jolts of pleasure shooting through your core. You writhed beneath him, your breathing growing shallow and ragged.

"Just relax," Cillian whispered softly, his warm breath fanning across your neck.

"I need you to take off your clothes," you murmured shyly, biting your lip seductively. You were eager to explore his body again, and the anticipation was killing you.

Cillian complied willingly, stripping down completely before climbing back on top of you.

His body was lean and muscular, adorned with a light dusting of freckles. As he pressed his weight down onto you, you could feel his erection straining against his boxers. You let out a low moan, inviting him to continue.

"Are you still sure about this?" Cillian asked, his voice rough and strained.

"Yes," you replied, reaching up to kiss him passionately. "I want you, Cillian."

He grinned wickedly, yanking off his underwear in one swift movement. His cock sprang free, standing tall and proud.

You licked your lips, mesmerized by the sight of him. You wanted to taste him, to feel him inside you. You moved your hands, tracing the outline of his erection.

"I want you so badly," you moaned, your voice thick with lust. "Please, Cillian, fuck me."

He looked down at you, his eyes dark and intense. "Fuck Y/N, why do you have to be so damn beautiful?" he whispered, his voice husky and full of longing. His eyes roamed over your exposed flesh, taking in every curve and contour of your body. You could feel the heat radiating off of him, his arousal practically tangible in the air.

"Because, clearly, I'm your type," you teased, reaching up to run your fingers through his hair. He groaned softly, pressing his lips firmly against yours. His kiss was hungry and insistent, almost desperate. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch of you.

His kisses were passionate and urgent, fuelled by raw desire. As he pushed you further onto the bed, he paused, looking into your eyes as if seeking permission. You nodded, your heart racing with anticipation. 

"I want you to fuck me, Cillian," you repeated, your voice quivering with desire while he groaned loudly, his cock twitching beneath your fingers. You could feel his arousal surging through the air, a potent cocktail of pure lust and desire.

His response was immediate, his hips bucking into yours as he pressed his cock against your clit. The sensation was overwhelming, a wave of raw hunger washing over you. 

"I need you inside of me," you whimpered, your voice shaking with desperation and he immediately complied with your request.

He positioned himself at your entrance, teasing you with the tip of his cock. You moaned loudly, arching your back off the sheet.

Suddenly, he thrust into you, filling you completely. He buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly.

You could feel his heart pounding wildly against your chest, his breath hot and damp against your skin. His fingers dug into your thighs, holding you tightly as he pumped into you relentlessly.

"Oh God, yes!" you cried out, your voice hoarse and strained. The pleasure was almost unbearable, a tidal wave of ecstasy crashing over you. He responded, his movements becoming faster and harder.

You continued this for about an hour, drawing out the pleasure you received from each other's body until you couldn't take it anymore. 

The tension in your muscles increased tenfold, and you arched your back, trying to alleviate the mounting pressure. Cillian, sensing your impending release, quickened his pace, burying himself deeper inside you with each thrust.

"Cillian, fuck," you whimpered, your voice cracking. "Oh my fucking god, yes!" you screamed, the word echoing through the hotel room. Cillian's strong grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh with ferocious intensity. You could feel the familiar warmth building inside you, the storm brewing in the distance, threatening to engulf you both.

"I need—" you gasped, struggling to catch your breath.

"I know, baby," Cillian grunted, his breath hot and damp against your neck.

"I'm close," he rasped, his thrusts becoming wilder and more frantic. You could feel the pressure building inside you, the storm gathering in the distance. "Just hold on," he murmured, his voice strained and desperate. "I'm almost there," he groaned, his cock twitching beneath your fingers.

"Fuck," he gasped, his cock pulsing inside you as you found your release together, orgasming in sync with one another. 

The feeling was incredible, a powerful surge of pleasure that washed over you like a tidal wave.

"God, yes," you moaned, your voice hoarse and strained. "That was amazing," you breathed, the afterglow of climax lingering between the two of you.

"Yeah, it was," Cillian agreed, his voice rough and thick with satisfaction as he collapsed on top of you.  "Definitely worth the risk," he chuckled, planting a series of gentle kisses on your shoulder just as your phone started to ring.

Glancing at your mobile, which was sitting on the nightstand, you saw that it was Max calling.

"Shit," you murmured as Cillian pulled out of you, leaving you achingly empty. "It's Max. I forgot to write his referral the other day," you explained nervously, quickly picking up the phone and accepting the call while Cillian shifted on the bed uncomfortably.

"Max, hey," you stammered nervously, quickly glancing at Cillian before averting your gaze, your cheeks burning red with embarrassment.

"Hi Y/N, how are you?" Max asked cheerfully on the other line. 

"Yeah, I am fine," you answered hesitantly, avoiding eye contact with Cillian. "And I am really sorry, I should have prepared the referral and transfer form for you when you left the hospital. I totally," you began to apologize. "It totally slipped my mind," you apologized again while you could feel Cillian tensing up beside you.

"It's okay, Y/N," Max reassured you kindly. "I understand, shit happens," he laughed, causing your shoulders to drop slightly. "And I don't need the referral anyway. I won't be continuing treatment in Dublin. I will be staying here until next week for Ma's sake, but I can't wait to get out of the fucking house once Dad gets back," Max exclaimed, causing you to pause mid-sentence.

"Uhm, okay," you muttered, staring blankly at the wall opposite of you while Cillian squirmed uncomfortably on the bed beside you. 

"Yeah, Dad is being a dick you know. He could just fucking pay for the repairs on my car and get me a lawyer. He can fucking afford it, but no, he won't help me," Max vented, causing you to gasp.

"You're joking, right?" you questioned incredulously, staring at the wall in disbelief. Cillian shot you a pleading glance, silently begging you to wrap up the conversation. 

"Nah, I'm not joking," Max sighed heavily. "He just gave me a lecture about how I need to learn to manage my own finances and how irresponsible I am. What bullshit is that?" Max scoffed.

"No Max, I meant that," you began, before pausing briefly and sighing. "I mean, you don't actually expect someone else to cover your ass after what happened, right?" you clarified, the tension in the air thickening. 

"He is my dad, so he is obliged to help me," Max responded quickly. "Despite, mum thinks he should," Max argued stubbornly. 

"Well, I don't agree, but this between you and your dad," you interjected, knowing that Cillian was hearing at least half of what was being said. "Now listen, I have to go now. I've got stuff to do," you hurriedly ended the conversation, cutting Max off abruptly.

"Yeah, of course Y/N. You are a busy med student after all," Max chuckled before telling you quickly why he was calling you in the first place. "But the reason I was calling you was that I thought that, just maybe, you would like to go out, catch a movie and some dinner next week, just so that I can thank you properly for all your help at the hospital and all," Max stammered before continuing on without allowing you to answer. "Any movie is fine. You choose. Just not Oppenheimer. I can't possibly watch my dad take off his clothes and make out with Florence Pugh who, I may add, is way too young and pretty for him. That's just next level gross," Max told you, chuckling, his tone sarcastic and disgusted.

"Max, listen," you interrupted him, panic setting in. "We talked about this and I think that, what you are suggesting, is a terrible idea, alright?" you insisted, the nervousness creeping into your voice despite how confident you attempted to sound. "Now, I really have to go. You take care, okay?" you hurriedly finished before hanging up the phone.

As soon as you disconnected the call, you jumped off the bed, walking briskly to the bathroom.

"Y/N," Cillian called out, his voice thick with concern. "Is everything okay?" he asked, his voice laced with worry. "Is Max okay?" he wanted to know.

"Yeah," you assured him, running the water in the sink as you splashed cold water on your face. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, your cheeks flushed a deep pink. 

"I am just such a horrible fucking person," you muttered under your breath, wiping the water from your face with a towel. "God dammit," you scolded yourself, pacing nervously in front of the sink.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Cillian called out again, his voice softer this time. "Talk to me," he pleaded, his voice thick with concern.

Sighing, you turned off the faucet and opened the door, stepping out into the bedroom. "No, I am not okay," you admitted, swallowing the lump in your throat.

"Yes, just needed to freshen up after the awkward phone call," you lied, not wanting to tell Cillian that his son so seemingly was not over you yet in fear of loosing him.

"What did Max want?" Cillian asked cautiously, watching you closely.

You hesitated a moment before answering, weighing your options. Finally, you decided to tell him at least part of the truth.

"Nothing much," you mumbled, shifting your gaze to the floor. "He just called to ask if I wanted to catch a movie with him next week," you revealed softly, feeling Cillian stiffen beside you.

"What did you say?" he asked, his voice cold and distant.

"I told him that I didn't think it was a good idea," you replied, meeting Cillian's gaze.

"Y/N, I am not sure what we are doing here," Cillian said, torn between his feelings for you and loyalty towards his son. "Maybe we should just stop," he suggested, his voice thick with regret and, immediately, your heart sank at his words.

To be continued...

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[bennysblabbering]

The Confessional

Kinktober: "Priest Kink" || Suguru Geto x reader

contents: cult/JJK0 Geto, sorcerer!reader, male oral, deepthroating, swallowing cum, praise, religious rituals i guess? not sure what to call it

words: 2k

g/n reader, reader's genitals are not specified

↓ Fic below the cut ↓

“Welcome.”

On a slightly elevated platform, you’re greeted by a soothing voice from a man sitting cross-legged adorned in a long elegant robe- the same man you’d heard so many speak about in hushed whispers and nervous glances. You turn slightly to slide the door shut before making your way to him, stopping at a respectful distance; making a good impression was imperative if you wanted to be accepted. Placing your arms at your sides and your eyes facing the floor, you bow at the waist with a small smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Geto-sama.”

“Likewise,” he responds, mirroring your expression. For someone rumored to be so violent, his tone and demeanor seemed uncharacteristically gentle. It was almost off-putting, the way his aura made your body feel at ease and loosen the tension in your nervous muscles. That was probably purposeful, though, to lure in non-sorcerers for his victims. You scowl slightly at the reminder, bending your body back upward as the thought of his message remains in your mind. Your gaze moves to him, though avoiding eye-contact so as not to be too intimate. 

He’s arguably the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen. His long, silky black hair cascades down his shoulders like a midnight waterfall, and his angular and narrow features make him look as if he were a sculpted work of art. The color of his plugs, a deep navy blue, matched that of his robes and brought his whole look together. It was almost difficult to speak while in the presence of such an ethereal man, your voice initially cracking before you clear your throat and blush in embarrassment. 

“I have requested to join your…organization, sir, because my ideals align with yours. I’ve been a sorcerer for many years now, and I’ve become tired of the repeated trauma that comes from protecting a class of people who don’t even know we exist. And even if they did, I doubt they would be grateful. We make unending sacrifices throughout our lives and it amounts to nothing in the end. If we could eliminate the reason for our troubles altogether, we could create a peaceful world for our people.” 

His subtle smile grows wider, the corners of his lips turning up into a satisfied grin. “You’re intelligent and well-spoken. I like you already. I think you’d be a wonderful addition to our family.” 

Your eyes light up excitedly. You hadn’t expected him to be so accepting right away. It can’t be that simple, right? There’s no way there isn’t more before an official acceptance. Cautious but nonetheless looking forward to this new experience, you give him a small nod with a giddy smile. “Thank you, Geto-sama. You will not regret this.”

He chuckles, standing up before stepping down onto the same level as you, his hands hidden beneath his sleeves as they’re placed together in front of his waist. “There are a few things you must do in order to become one of us. One cannot bring their sins from their old life into this one; they must be purified and begin anew. Do you understand?”

You nod, ready for whatever he might ask of you. If commanded to, you would kill a non-sorcerer, exorcize a curse, or anything else he might want to see from a potential newcomer. You’d spent a long time considering following him, and you knew this was the right decision. You’d go to the ends of the earth for such a god-like man. 

“There is a particular extra ritual that I have those I take a liking to partake in. Not many have such a privilege, but I will bestow it upon you.” 

Your heart races in anticipation. You felt incredibly flattered that he not only liked you, but liked you enough to do something only a few get to experience. But what that was, you have not even an inkling of a clue. “Thank you, sir. I’m grateful that I’ve fallen under your favor. Whatever you ask of me, I will obey.”

“Glad to hear it. Like I said, in order to be officially associated with us, you need to be purified; cleansed of your old ways and forgiven for your misdeeds. Now…on your knees.”

You do as you’re told, swallowing hard as you feel your pulse quicken further. You place your hands nervously on the tops of your thighs, waiting for instruction. 

“It’s impossible you’ve had these ideals your whole life. There must have been a time when you were complicit in the current state of jujutsu society. Tell me about that.”

You hang your head in shame as you nod, recalling your younger years of naivete and believing that the ultimate purpose of a sorcerer was to protect those unlike you. “You’re right. I used to think my purpose in life was to help the weak. I often befriended non-sorcerers, and I even dated a few. I still can’t believe I let that filthy scum touch me. I’ve since seen the error of my ways and want to make up for what I’ve done.”

Keeping your face parallel to the floor, you hear him sigh softly. “I see. I was once the same way. It’s a shame so few people come to their senses.” He bends over slightly, placing a long pointer finger under your chin, lifting it up to look deep into his amber eyes as he stands up straight. “Luckily, you seem to be of the enlightened ones. We believe in the worship and love of the strong here. To be truly pure and forgiven, you will need to satisfy me and ingest my essence.”

Though hidden by the long sleeves, you can tell his hands have lowered. They move some fabric out of the way, rustling and pulling layers until finally reaching to pull the waistband of his pants down just a bit. Suddenly, you understand what he meant by his last sentence as his cock is freed, bouncing slightly from the release of its confines. “Luckily, I’m willing to give you mercy if you’re willing to accept it.”

You blink a few times as you start to tremble, your heart beating so hard you could feel it in your throat. His cock boasted an impressive size, both in length and girth. The tantalizing foreskin covered just past the bottom of the head, letting the reddened tip peek out as evidence of the generous blood flow to the area. “Yes, sir, I’m willing to please you in the name of cleansing my sins.”

“Good, good. I look forward to giving you this honor.” He slowly strokes himself, silently inviting you to place your mouth on where he clearly wanted. You lick your lips before straightening your back, wrapping your fingers around his hard length and moving your hand back and forth in meaningful motions. He lets out a content exhale, making your heart flutter.

Leaning forward, you give the slit a kitten lick before your hand moves back towards you along his cock, pulling the velvety foreskin along with it and past the head. You hum as you slip your tongue underneath the soft flesh, hearing him gasp as you circle the tip with your tongue. The wet muscle makes its way around it repeatedly, worshiping it and reveling in the soft and smooth texture. Your tongue makes its way snugly in a little further, before you stroke the skin back to where it was and finally wrap your lips around his cock. 

Suguru lets out a low groan, closing his eyes and weaving his fingers into your hair. “That’s it…”

You slowly start to make your way back and forth with your head, sucking eagerly on the manhood of the man who you wanted to impress with every bone in your body. You wanted nothing more than to make sure he felt satisfied; pleasing him would cleanse both your body and soul. You lean forward a bit more, taking him further into your throat with a gag. You stop for a moment, but don’t pull off. He looks down at you with an encouraging gaze and gently strokes his fingers through your hair. “You’re doing great. Just keep going a little further. Take as much of me as you possibly can.”

You nod slightly, squeezing your eyes shut as you place your hands on each of his clothed thighs. The fabric of his robes was incredibly soft, and it helped somewhat serve as a distraction to the burning in your throat. You pull back a little to get one last breath through your nose as you push your mouth further onto his length. His cock slides past your uvula, making you gag once again, but you’re determined to keep going. You slowly continue to sink his erection down your throat, not stopping until your nose brushes against silk. He strokes the back of your head affectionately as he moans, looking back down at you with pride in his gaze. “That’s a good follower. Let my entire cock penetrate you and purify your body.”

You stay there for as long as you can, sucking until your cheeks are hollowed and your face is a dark red from being unable to breathe. Feeling a dizziness start to set in, you pull all the way off in one quick motion before taking in a dramatic inhale. Your saliva starts to drip down your chin and you wipe it away with the back of your hand. Looking up at him, your eyes were glazed over from pure arousal, looking incredibly fucked out without even being pleasured yourself. “Geto-sama…you have such a beautiful cock, I can’t help but worship it.”

He chuckles, amused at your state as he softly strokes a thumb over your cheek. “Thank you. You’ve been doing very well. Keep going, make me cum. I want to watch you swallow it all as my seed purifies you.”

“Yes sir.” You place your lips back onto the reddened and swollen tip, wrapping your fingers around the shaft and stroking as you pick up a rhythm with your mouth. Your other hand shifts from his thigh over to massage his balls, heavy and full with a thick load ready to be released. You continue to work him with both hands, one stroking his cock and one lovingly caressing his balls, as your mouth makes its way back and forth along his eager erection. Suguru moans, louder than any of the ones before, clearly close to the edge and anticipating an orgasm. He lovingly places a hand on the back of your head, pushing ever so slightly but not enough to hurt you. 

“Oh, I’m close…don’t stop, don’t stop-”

A choked whine escapes his mouth as he finally releases his hot seed down your throat, multiple ropes of savory cum squirting from his cock, and you swallow each one with a fervor. You continue to suck lightly, intensifying his pleasure, reveling in the liberating feeling of being cleansed by the fluid of the strong. Not a single drop is wasted as you consume his essence, welcoming his acceptance of your submission and obedience. Every moment of his climax was just as euphoric for you as it was for him.

As his breathing stabilizes, you pull off of him slowly, a string of your saliva connecting to his tip and you wipe it away with a thumb. Both of you catch your breath for a minute as you silently gaze at each other, the afterglow present on both of your faces. As sore as your throat was, you needed to thank him for granting you his mercy; clearing your throat, you smile up at him with an adoration in your eyes.

“Thank you, Geto-sama. I’m eternally grateful you were so humble to grant me this opportunity to follow you.”

He smiles softly with that same gentle smile that greeted you when you arrived. “Stand.”

Without hesitation, you follow his command, arising to your feet. “Yes sir.”

“There are a few more things that I need from you before I can call you one of my own, but the signs are already looking to be in your favor. You initially made a good impression on me, and now that you’ve been purified, you’ve proven your loyalty and passion for our beliefs. I look forward to seeing your full potential.”

You beam warmly in response, swelling with pride that you’d passed the initial stages, excited for the steps to come and finally becoming a member of the organization. A brief bow of your head follows.

“Thank you, Geto-sama.”

[cherriegyuu]

Elevator | 02

pairing: jihoon x fem!reader genre: angst, soulmate word count: 17k sumary: in a world where soulmates exists, jihoon is faced with difficult decisions

part one | part two (final)

He doesn't know what woke him up first, the wetness on his face or how tight his chest felt - like it was about to explode. Maybe it was a weird mix of both.

Pushing the covers off his body, Jihoon tried to sit up. There was no reason for him to be feeling that way, he knew that. He didn't dream of anything, or at least he didn't remember it. In an attempt to calm himself, Jihoon got out of bed, went to the bathroom, and washed his face. 

But the tears were still there when he tried them off, the tightness in his chest and throat getting stronger by the second. He hadn't felt that way in so long and even back then it wasn't that bad…

Jihoon ran to the door before his body could fully process what he was doing. His mind moved much faster than his recently awoken body allowed him to. There was only one reason why tears would spill from his eyes without his permission, one that he was never able to control.

"y/n!" 

Jihoon hit the wooden door with all his strength, both of his hands taking turns on an unstoppable plea for you to open the door. He knew that you were the only one who could bring out that sort of reaction in him. He should have realized it earlier. It took him too long to wake up and understand what was happening.

"y/n! Please, open the door"

He didn't stop even when a neighbor came out to see what all the commotion was about. At that point, he didn't know if the tears in his eyes were only yours or if his own had gotten mixed up together. And being honest he didn't care.

Your name was on the tip of his tongue, ready to be called out again when the door was door was pulled open. Jihoon didn't even have a chance to look at your face before your arms circled his neck and pulled him close.

Not knowing what to do, he just held your trembling body close. Running his hand over the length of your hair, in a silly attempt to calm you down. It was obvious that it wasn't going to help all that much, but little was still better than nothing at all. Some sort of momentary comfort was all he could give you.

When he was a kid, Jihoon's mom would do the same to him. Not when he was simply throwing a tantrum, though his parents always caved during those times, they knew the difference between real and fake tears. 

The notch in his throat got thicker as your arms got tighter around him. 

"It's Chan," you said finally, your words muffled by his shoulder "Accident"

You said more but all of your words got lost in his shirt. Though he didn't understand the rest, what he did understand was more than enough. When both of you were stuck at the elevator, you explained it to him or, rather, gave him little information that told him everything he needed to know.

He pulled your hands away from him and took a step back. Your hair was sticking to your face, your pajamas wrinkled, and the tears left an obvious path on your cheeks. 

Jihoon wanted to protect you from the world, from himself. However, there was only one thing he could offer you.

"Put your shoes on, I'll take you to him"

Somewhere along the road, you stopped crying. The only sound coming from you was the leftover sobs that still lightly shook your body. Your eyes had been so focused on the road ahead of you, on how it seemed endless, that you didn't even notice that Jihoon held your hand, that he looked at you now and then - concern covering all of his features.

The only thing on your mind was Chan. If he was okay, what exactly had happened to him? The emptiness that filled you when you were told that your parents were gone threatened to make its appearance once again and you hated it. 

Another car crash.

Was it possible that life, universe, destiny, god, or whatever it was called, was cruel enough to take someone else from you like that? You wanted to believe that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice but it was hard to do so. No one wanted to give out any information on your brother over the phone, even when Jihoon tried calling them and playing the doctor card. 

It was completely silent. The world around you got smaller, and darker until it was hard to breathe. And there was nothing that you could do about it.

Jihoon was doing his best, driving over the speed limit, but having to be careful so both of you didn't get in an accident too. A car drive that usually took three hours became two but still felt like an eternity.

Please be okay.

You bolted out of the car the second it stopped, forgetting to check if Jihoon was behind you. Everyone looked at you with wide eyes as you rushed inside, taking notice of your pajamas, worn-out shoes, and messy hair.

"Someone called me about my brother, and said that he was brought in after an accident"

The lady behind the computer looked at you over her glasses and sighed. It was something she was used to, desperate people looking for family members. 

"Name?"

"Lee Chan"

It felt like forever had gone by while she typed your brother's name and waited for the computer to load all the information. 

"ER 3" she finally said. 

A huge hospital, with more hallways than what you thought was possible, separated you from Chan. Thankfully Jihoon seemed to know exactly where that was. His hand landed lightly on your lower back, guiding you. 

You walked inside the room frantically, going from bed to bed, until you heard Chan's voice, his laugh going around the wide room. 

Pulling the curtains away you were faced with a very happy Chan, looking at his coach like nothing was wrong in the world. A sling covered his arm and an orthopedic boot was around his left leg. 

"What are you doing here?"

All of the concern and fear you felt seconds before were replaced by anger. The purest kind of anger that exists, borderline wrath. Your body now shook for an entirely different reason.

"You were drunk and driving?"

It was so easy to pick up the smell of cheap beer and booze on his clothes. It was so strong that you were sure that he had bathed in it.

"I wasn't the one driving," he said. 

He was out of it, almost completely. His words were a slurred mess, the smell of vomit coming out of his clothes and mouth almost made you want to throw up. The scene right in front of you made you wonder just what kind of life Chan was living now that he was at college, away from you.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought you were gone too" the words were barely a whisper. You wanted to hit him, shake him until he was finally back to his senses until that goddamn alcohol left his body.

Instead, you cried. You were angry with him for being so careless but you were also thankful. You spend three hours thinking that he was dead, that because no one wanted to tell you how he was, the worst must have happened. The fear of being in a world without Chan, of being left alone, far greater than anything you've ever felt. It didn't even compare to the day you lost your parents, because then you had Chan. Without him, you weren't too sure of what would be left of you.

"So what now?" you turned to his coach, pushing the tears away.

You remember talking to him briefly before at one or two tournaments you had attended since Chan was a freshman. He wasn't exactly what one would expect of a taekwondo coach, short, bald, and fat, but your brother loved him. Whenever you talked with Chan he only had good words to say about the older man.

"Well, he's suspended for starters" when Chan complained his coach turned to him, his voice suddenly louder than when he was speaking to you "You were training for a competition, you weren't even supposed to be out of your damn dorm"

You were grateful that your brother had someone like that in his life, someone who was willing to ground him and call him on his shit, though all of it could be for show. Maybe he was just playing tough in front of you and at the end, he was like all other coaches ever, the kind that thinks that athletes should be above everything else.

"He'll also need time to heal his arm and leg. So maybe three months overall?"

That was going to be hell for Chan, you knew that. For as long as you could remember, everything he ever did was somehow related to the sport. There was no way Chan and Taekwondo existed in separate realms. 

He couldn't be older than four when you first heard him talk about Taekwondo. The two of you were watching TV and someone in the movie was doing it. The second he saw it, he fell in love with it. He said Sis, I want to do that. And, oh how he wanted it. 

For weeks he walked behind your dad begging to go to classes. I'll be the bestest boy, I promise! Until your parents finally caved. You had never seen Chan quite that happy. It was like someone that young had already found what they were supposed to with their life.

Your parents were sure that Chan would eventually give it up, that he was just going through a phase. Every kid wants to be thousands of different things while growing up and your parents were sure that Chan would be just like all of those kids. It didn't turn out that way though.

As time went by Chan was falling deeper into Taekwondo. There were days that he didn't talk much when he got home, he was frustrated, slamming doors and barely eating. But when you walked past his room you would see him training with a frown on his face and trying again and again. Some days he managed to get it right and others he failed. But never once he gave up, not even for a second.

"I'll take him home, to make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid"

You assured the coach, who seemed relieved by your words.

"As if" Chan scoffed.

You could barely see him, his coach covering most of his body, so you pushed the older man to the side.

"Oh, this is not up for debate. You're coming home with me and that's final"

He looked at you then, his eyes turning vicious, knowing that whatever he said next was going to hurt you but still choosing to go forward with it.

"You're not my mom, you can't make me" 

He was being petulant, acting in a way he hadn't since he was fourteen, or maybe fifteen. But instead of backing down, let him have the last word, you crossed your arms over your chest and held your head higher than ever before.

"I'm not Mom, but I'm the only one you've got so suck it up and do as I say"

Jihoon didn't dare to stay inside with you after he saw that Chan was fine, or as fine as he could be considering the situation. He figured it was more of a family situation and whatever he wanted, which was to stay close to you, didn't matter all that much. He reached for his phone and dialed his mom's number before he could stop himself - or even realize what he was doing.

He didn't think that his mom would actually pick up the phone. It was late, the middle of the night, but that was never a problem with Jihoon's mom. Since he was a kid she told him that she worked better during the night and that was one of the reasons why he never really cared about the time he called her. 

"Hey son" 

Of all the people he met in his life, patients, friends, and coworkers, his mother was by far the easiest-going person he ever came across. He knew that if he called her and asked about soulmates and how the bond worked she wouldn't make a big deal out of it. She would be curious about it, like crazy, but she wouldn't press Jihoon to talk about it - at least for a few weeks.

"Hi Mom, how are you?"

"Who do I have to thank for this phone call?" 

He could hear her smile. Was that a weird thing to say? He just knew when she was smiling.

"I have this friend, right?" his mom hummed at the other end, probably knowing that he was full of shit "And he met his soulmate, for a while now, and things are going sort of… bumpy. He is sort of an idiot, but she is great. Anyway… you've always said that once the bond is made and the mark is gone, the trait that connects souls vanishes. But what if it doesn't?"

"You mean it happened again?"

It was his turn to hum and his mom went silent on the other end. He heard as she moved around, the sound of books being opened and closed, pages being turned, was all he received. 

Jihoon knew that he shouldn't have called his mom but she was the only one he could ask. Talking to his dad was just too hard, he would ask too many questions and Jihoon didn't have answers that his dad would like to hear. He wasn't too fond of lying to his dad either.

"It's not impossible" his mother dragged the words out "It doesn't happen very often though. Did it happen to you?"

He choked on his saliva. He tried for a good minute to recompose himself. It was bad enough that a nurse came to check on him.

"I haven't met her yet, you know that" 

Jihoon played it off. He didn't call his dad because he had no intention of lying but he was just doing it to his mom. 

"You may not talk to me a whole lot but your girlfriend does and she tells me things"

Right then was the moment Jihoon regretted telling Mina about it. Then again, he didn't want to keep anything from her. The entire situation was bad already, he didn't want another thing to make it even worse than it had to be. Mina not knowing about you was going to hell on earth.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you" was all he said.

Was there anything else he could say? At the end of the day, it was his life and ultimately his decision. But Jihoon had always been the kind of person who talked to their parents, even when it was hard to get the words out. Like in that moment. 

He knew what his parents thought, knew that they would want him to stay with his soulmate. That's what the universe planned for you, son. There were too many things fighting him on it. It was like the universe was fighting against him, instead of with him.

"It's your choice, you don't have to apologize," his mother said softly, a hint of sadness in her voice "So this girl, y/n, cried again and you did too?"

He nodded, even though his mother couldn't see him. He felt like a child that did something wrong, who broke something expensive, and lied to his parents because he was scared to get caught. So he told his mother everything, from the day he met you to the moment he almost tore you down.

In complete silence, his mother heard everything that he had to say. Not even once did she stop him to ask anything, something that wasn't like her at all. 

Talking about it with someone was better than he expected. Though he told Mina about you, Jihoon didn't dare to say everything - not when she wasn't the one for him. How unfair of him would it be to talk with his girlfriend about his soulmate? He also couldn't talk to Soonyoung about it either. His friend was against everything Jihoon was doing. 

"Fear of death," his mother said after some time "What she was feeling was probably too overwhelming, maybe even bigger than the soul connection. The two of you are yet to fully form the bond, both of you are still holding back right now so it's not that strong yet. She was likely scared that her brother was dead and was scared because she was going to be left alone"

Jihoon's car was quite large but it felt way too small for the three of you. The tension in the air was palpable, you could almost see it. You felt the need to apologize to him but also maybe hit Chan in the head with a hammer. He had been sulking the entire time since you left the hospital and that wasn't making the three-hour drive any easier, the smell of vomit and beer wasn’t helping either. 

"Will you stop that? It's not the end of the world, okay?"

"That depends. How angry will you be if I fail this semester?" his voice was dripping with sarcasm.

You just knew that Chan was lying about it. From what he told you, and what his coach said, if Chan failed or got bad grades he was out of the Taekwondo team in a blink of an eye.

"Will you quit sport then? You can if you want but I call bullshit"

Instead of a smart comeback at your words, Chan laughed so loudly that even Jihoon seemed startled, his eyes looking at your brother through the rearview mirror. A small smile tones his lips. He was relieved that you and Chan were, apparently, on better terms than when you left the hospital. If his laugh was any indication of it, he wasn't as angry anymore. 

"Are you the one teaching her how to curse? Big Sis never did that. Should have learned some of those back in college, would have been very helpful"

You just wanted Chan to shut up. That was ages ago, long enough that you barely remembered it - or you'd like to think you didn't. But it seemed that it was still very much alive in your brother's memory. 

"That barely counts as cursing," you said

"What happened in college?" Jihoon asked at the same time.

It was the first time Jihoon said anything at all since you went inside the ER to find a somewhat drunk Chan. When you came out of the room, fuming, ready to just burst, Jihoon remained calm. The only thing he did was hold your hand, to let you know that he was there. As much as you didn't want to admit his presence had helped, it made you feel less likely to go insane at any given moment. 

But right in that second, after Chan opened his big mouth, you wished that you were on your own, that your little breakdown didn't at all reflect on Jihoon and he had remained oblivious to it. Something, you had no idea what happened and he was suddenly at your door, screaming your name at the top of his lungs and banging on the door like a madman. His voice somehow helped you to get away from the fog that clouded your mind.

Jihoon's presence had made you feel somehow a little closer to your normal self.

You were sure all of it had to do with the soulbond and you hated it all. Hated the idea that you leaned on him, the fact that even after you promised yourself that you wouldn't let him close to you, he did. And with your permission, on top of that.

Now he was getting an insight into your life when he shouldn't. It felt like you were living your life, since the day you met Jihoon, like a broken record that is stuck in the same song. You told yourself that he wouldn't get close to you again, he promised you that he wouldn't, but at the first chance you got you found yourselves near each other again. Whatever excuse you could come up with was valid enough. 

"y/n had a boyfriend in college. Real nice guy until he dumped her the second some other girl showed up"

Let the road swallow me whole, you prayed to whoever listened to you. You didn't want to go there, didn't want to ever talk about that again. Jun had hurt you, yes - quite a lot actually - but many people go through that in life and you certainly weren't going to be the last one. 

You were young at the time, thought you had life completely figured out, and believed what Jun told you. It all seemed so simple. Kids born out of bondless couples don't have soulmates; if you stay with someone for long enough the feeling is just the same as the soul bond All of it was just a huge lie, the biggest one someone ever told you. That someone was yourself.

You were with Jun for five years, from the second year of high school to the third one of college. And you believed it. His parents weren't soulmates either and you two hit it off since the first second. Other kids at school looked at the two of you in a funny way but neither of you seemed to mind. 

It was true, you didn't in the least. You were happy when you were with him and he was too, or at least you liked to think so. You wish you could say that something happened, that towards the end things were bad, but it would be a lie. Everything was fine, great actually. You had been talking about moving in together and life after college. One word that could describe what you felt, was happiness. You felt as if the world was conspiring with you,  helping you move forward in life. 

One day Jun called you and asked to meet you for coffee. You went, of course. Put on nice clothes, did your makeup, thinking you were meeting your boyfriend for a date in the middle of the afternoon. An escape, as he liked to call it. You noticed that something was wrong the second you went inside the cafe. One look at Jun was more than enough to tell that something was wrong and whatever it was, it was enough to break everything that was carefully built for a little over five years.

"I've met her, my soulmate"

All plans and dreams vanished the very second those words were said out loud. You swallowed everything, the lump in your throat, the sudden pain in your chest, and smiled. I should be happy for him. Just because it wasn't certain that you would find your soulmate didn't mean that Jun had to stick beside you.

Soo Ji was nice. Not someone you would ever picture as Jun's soulmate but the universe worked at its own pace. It wasn't your place to butt in. At first, you two, and even Soo Ji in some ways, tried to stay close. For years you stuck to each other so it was weird not to be close or in some sort of contact. But soon you understood that it didn't work quite like that.

A relationship of three doesn't work.

"It was his soulmate, what did you expect him to do?" you asked quietly.

You had that same argument many times with Chan over the years and it always ended the same way. He didn't quite understand and you always played it like it was nothing at all. 

"Stay with you. Lots of people do the same. I bet he is miserable right now, thinking that he should have stayed with you"

Chan couldn't be more wrong. Out of coincidence, you met Jun the other day. He came into the bakery with Soo Ji, a baby in her arms. You had never, not even once, seen Jun smile that brightly when he introduced you to his son. Both of them seemed happy together. It was like the things left unsaid weren't there, that there were no lingering feelings. And perhaps there weren't any on their end, maybe that was only you. You who tried to grab onto something that was doomed from the start.

Soo Ji had been the one to see that your mark was gone. You could see in her eyes that she didn't ask with malice, she seemed genuinely happy for you. For the first time, you felt the need to lie, to pretend that you were living a life that didn't belong to you. 

So you did. 

You told them about your soulmate, about how amazing he was, how happy you were with each other. You just blurted out lies about your life, about moments that never happened, of a future that wouldn't exist at all. 

"Does it make sense that you're here, sad, all on your own because he left?"

You shook your head, a sigh escaping your parted lips. Chan always had the same argument and he never really understood. 

"My soulmate is out there, I'll find him"

Jihoon stiffed by your side, or maybe he had been like that since the whole conversation started and you simply didn't notice. Your words weren't meant to hurt him, they were only supposed to shut Chan up. It was what you always said and, like many times before, it worked wonders. 

More than anyone in your life, Chan knew what your limit was and when it was time to just stop. And that was the right moment to stop, when he saw your hand going unconsciously to your left shoulder and massaged it lightly. The spot your mark was on. 

"I've met mine, you know," he said quietly, more of a secret to himself than words that were supposed to be said out loud. 

You did your best not to make a fuss over it. Like you, Chan had been certain that he would never meet his other half. Your mother's words floated around in your mind, both of you are special. You thought of it only as parent talk. Every parent says that in hopes to lighten up their kids. It just seemed that your parents were onto something when they said that you.

"What happens now?" was all you asked.

If you learned one thing about Chan over the twenty years you've known him was that his life was his and his feelings were only for himself to know about. You had to always be careful of what you said to him, how you asked things. He never lashed out at you, or your parents. The only time he got worked up over something was talking about Jun. 

Chan was always the kind of person that retreats into himself whenever things get too much and you knew that his feelings were too much. 

"Nothing. We don't get along at all, that's it"

Your eyes drifted to Jihoon for a second, to find him looking back at you.

Was it possible that both, you and your brother, were doomed when it came to your soulmates?

My soulmate is out there, I'll find him.

Your words hunted Jihoon in his sleep - or better said the lack of them. After he dropped you and Chan home, Jihoon went straight to the hospital. 

His mind was thankful for the distraction that was work. Never before had he been that pleased to work twelve hours without a break. His day had been so busy that he didn't even find a few minutes to talk to Soonyoung - which was probably a blessing in disguise.

Jihoon was certain that if his friend found out about what you said he would have been thrilled, ready to rub it in his face that he had indeed messed up. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Jihoon couldn't do to Mina what your college boyfriend did to you. How was he supposed to walk away from Mina like nothing at all ever happened? He couldn't just leave you behind you either.

His mind went around like it was in a maze, only to end up in the same place he started. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. He was certain of one thing though: hearing you talk like he wasn't there, as if you hadn't met him at all, hurt a lot more than he expected. 

My soulmate is out there, I'll find him.

He felt that he was made of thin air, that someone could just pretend that he didn't exist. Not once in his life he felt that way. Jihoon never felt so little that he believed he could truly disappear. 

So he did the only thing he could do, he waited until morning and knocked on your door. Chan was the one who opened the door for him.

"Is your sister still at home?"

He looked at Jihoon with narrowed eyes, head slightly tilted to the said. The doctor was ready to have the door closed on his face but Chan just shook his shoulders and pointed to a closed door at the other side of the room. 

Jihoon was surprised to see that even though your apartment had the same design as his, everything was completely different. Where his place was mostly white and grey, yours was colorful. When he looked at the walls he felt that life jumped out of them, straight to his face pointing out everything that was wrong with his place - or maybe even him.

You had an entire wall dedicated to your family. Pictures of a younger version of you, of Chan when he couldn't be older than ten holding medals and trophies, of your parents and the family together. Jihoon didn't have a single picture of his parents and friends in his apartment, not even on his phone.

"Don't look around too much, the walls may fall down," Chan said from behind him.

All Jihoon did was give him a nod and knock on the bedroom door quickly before going in. You were sitting in your bed, putting your shoes on, when Jihoon burst through the door.

It wasn't at all what you expected to see in the first few hours of the day but you were certain that it would eventually happen. You hoped for it to be much later than it was but there was nothing that you could do to fight it off.

You knew Jihoon was going to ask why you said what you said. He seemed uncomfortable when he heard you but being honest you wished that he could just let it go. Those words were more to soothe Chan than anything else. You knew who your soulmate was and had already found him, you just didn't know what to do with yourself. 

You wished your life could be as simple and easy as the movie made it seem, as Jun had made it look like that all those years before. All you wanted to do was take Jihoon by the hand and run towards the sunset like everyone else. Why is it that everything seemed to be just a little harder for you? While all the people around you, not that there were many but enough, seemed to have their entire lives figured out you were still struggling to take a step forward.

You had been so naïve when Jihoon suddenly showed up in your life. Though you convinced yourself that he would reject you, you still hoped that he wouldn’t. Wanted with the strength of your body that just once things would go your way. The easy way. How easy it would have been if you could just simply follow your heart.

Buried deep down in your heart was the truth you never allowed yourself to say out loud, to even feel. Jihoon carved a place for himself in you, even if your words said the other way. He was the first person you thought about every morning and the desire to hear his voice was the last thing you felt before falling asleep. But none of it belonged to you. Though those feelings existed and were yours, they belonged in a box deep inside the closet where no one could ever have access to it.

If you couldn’t acknowledge your feelings it was better to pretend that they didn’t exist. It was best to pretend that Jihoon didn’t exist.

“Why are you here?”

You looked at him quickly before going back to tying your shoes.

“We have to talk. I wanted to tell you something…”

“I don’t want to hear it” you got up and walked past him, pulling out a coat and putting it on “I appreciate what you did, how you helped me with Chan and stayed by my side. Honestly, thank you for that. But I wish you’d keep your word and stop coming around”

He took a step back as if your words had physically hurt him. Jihoon’s face wasn’t as composed anymore. His soft features contorted into something that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“I know I said that but it’s not easy”

“And you think this is easy for me?” you pushed the wardrobe door closed with a loud sound. You were sure that it was loud enough that Chan was able to hear it from outside “You keep playing this game of push and pull. It hurts, Jihoon. It hurts so much because you don’t want me, but you also don’t want to let me go. I’m stuck here and have no idea what I'm supposed to do! Should I follow my heart and let this go on, even though I know I'm going to have it broken in the end? Or do I do the reasonable thing and tell you to fuck off?"

You hadn't realized that you were crying until Jihoon was in front of you, his hands on your face as his own eyes welled with tears. You hated how good it felt to have him touch you. Your skin seemed that it was on fire, your entire body reacted to his proximity.

“Don’t cry, not because of me”

You almost laughed at him. He should have said something before you spent the entire night tucked in bed doing your best so Chan wouldn’t hear a sound from the couch. He noticed that something was wrong when you walked inside the apartment. Chan became certain when you moved around like you were on autopilot, when you didn’t say anything about the accident, or even when you didn’t get close to the kitchen at all.

Before whenever Jihoon said that he would stay away you’d secretly wish that he wouldn’t. You used to think that just a little of him was better than nothing at all but as time went by you learned that it wasn’t at all like that. For your sanity, it would have been better if you hadn’t met him at all.

"Can you look at me and say we will be together? That you're going to leave Mina and be with me, as it's supposed to happen between soulmates?"

You could see it, his pain. It was evident in the way his face contorted as if showing the way his brain was working. You know that he wouldn't leave Mina and in a way, you were proud of him. Loyal to a fault. Maybe if Jun had shown you the same loyalty things would be much different.

“Let’s end this, whatever it is, right now. I can’t do this anymore”

Jihoon shook his head in protest as you pushed him away from you, trying desperately to cling onto you – in whatever way he could, for however long he could. But you were adamant about your decision. Nothing he said or did would make you change your mind.

“I’ve been rejected before and it didn’t hurt half as this. I loved Jun very much but I was always ready for the moment he would leave, he wasn’t my soulmate. I knew that it could happen but with you... It never crossed my mind, not even for a second, that something like this could happen. That I would have you this close to me and yet you were so far away. Unreachable. Please, let me go. This never really started but let’s end it anyway”

What could Jihoon say to make it okay again? He knew that there weren’t a lot of words that could do so, and none of them came to mind. Probably because he knew that nothing he said would make you change your mind. He didn’t know you all that well but one look at you was enough to tell him that nothing would.

He just stood in place, his fingers holding loosely to your sleeve. One last silent attempt. You looked at his hand for a second before wrapping your fingers around his wrist and pushing it away. You walked past him, being careful this time not to touch him in any way. Pulling the door open you crossed your arms over your chest, for protection more than anything else.

“Get out, please”

It felt weird to look at the place you had called home for two years empty. When you first moved in you thought of it as a place you would stay for years to come, until the day you managed to get your own house.

The decision to move was you being purely selfish, it was you running away. It was bittersweet, to be honest. You were trying to pretend that nothing ever happened and at the same time doing your best to give yourself a fresh start. 

It took you a little over two months to finally find a place that was of your liking and that had two bedrooms, not one like the apartment you lived in before. Though Chan no longer needed to stay with you, since he was fully recovered and had gone through his suspension, you still wanted to have a room for him. He was all grown up and could take care of himself but to you, he was still a little scrawny kid running around pretending that he was the best taekwondo athlete the world had ever seen.

“I never thought that I would have to do this again, you know. Help you move and stuff” Chan complained.

You just rolled your eyes at him. Though your brother recovered and his arm and leg didn’t bother him anymore, you didn’t let him touch a single box. The last thing you needed was to have him complaining that because of you he was feeling sore and couldn’t practice as he should.

“You’re such a baby, we did all the heavy lifting,” Soonyoung said picking up the last box.

It was surprising to still have him around after you cut off any sort of contact with Jihoon. The two of them made no secret that they had been close throughout their entire lives. You thought that by ending your relationship with Jihoon, if you could even call it that, Soonyoung would become a lost friend. It didn’t happen that way though. 

Soonyoung kept on showing up like he always did, this time he was just more careful not to say anything at all about Jihoon.

Content perhaps was the best way to describe how you were feeling at the time. It certainly wasn’t how you expected to feel after such a short time, especially compared to how you felt just a couple of weeks before. But it was better than not feeling anything at all. Your mom used to say that you should try to find happiness in the little moments, those matter a lot more than the big ones we make a fuss about.

That day, right there, with the four of you looking at the empty apartment was one of the little moments your mother talked about.

“That’s because my sister loves me very much”

“Don’t go counting on that. I just don’t want your coach screaming at me because you’re not recovered yet”

Chan dropped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you against his side, squeezing you a little too much. Yumi and Soonyoung weren't related by blood to you but whenever you looked at the two of them it made you feel that they were your family.

A small family, made of people who chose to be with each other, sounded pretty amazing.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Yumi asked for the billionth time.

It was almost funny to have her talk that way to you. Not that long ago she was the one encouraging you to go on a date. Pushing you, was a better way to put it. And now she was the one who seemed to have reservations about it. Or maybe she was just being cautious because she wasn't the one who introduced you to him, to Seungcheol.

To be honest it wasn't the first time you met him, not really. Attending your request, Soonyoung had taken him to the bakery. You knew that it wasn't the best place to meet someone for the first time but it was all you were willing to do.

That's probably why your friends seemed cautious and confused about your decision because they thought that you were mostly setting yourself up for failure. 

Partially, you could understand it. 

Yumi knew you for years, since the day you entered college with a bunny plushie that dated from when you were just a baby. She saw how you always held yourself back when meeting someone. The stories were no secrets and your future love life wasn't going to be as bright as hers or half of the world's. Instead of making you more outgoing and willing to try new things, it made you more cautious. There was also the whole situation with Jun, your parents' accident happened just a few months after that. Everything just sort of went to shit within a year.

"You seem more nervous than me" you laughed at her.

Yumi huffed and turned her back to you, carefully choosing the shade of blush she wanted to apply to your cheeks. You looked between lovely rose and glow, and finally chose the one on the right side. Why the hell not? you thought. You were the one starting this so it made sense that you were the one to put the most effort into it. Also, you knew that Yumi was going to put on glow on your face whether you wanted it or not.

"I am but then again when wasn't I? I set up all of your past dates but this feels different. I always felt more excited than you. For this though… I never saw it coming after... you know"

Does anyone ever think that they'll meet their soulmate and then simply move on, and date other people? It didn't sound plausible. But you weren't naive, you knew that it happened. You just didn't think that it would happen to you. 

"No one ever does but life happens. Now help me, I want to look pretty”

Yumi smiled at you, not a full one like you were used to but a tiny one.  It was still better than nothing at all.

“You want this”

She sounded surprised and it almost hurt you, but not to the point you got angry.

“He seems nice, doesn’t he? And handsome too, right?”

Just once in your life, you wanted to act young, probably younger than your age saw fitting, and gush about a handsome guy with your friend. And Yumi caught onto that quickly because a second later she was sitting by your side telling you all the dos and don’ts of a date.

“What is it with you? Where do you even find these guys? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you talk to an ugly guy, that was all me”

Seungcheol was, to put it in a few words, not at all what you expected. And that wasn’t a bad thing at all. 

When you first met him, knowing only the simple description Soonyoung had given you, you thought of him as someone quiet and shy. It was true that he liked to have his own time, be by himself thinking about his life and those around him. But that wasn’t all there was to him, of course.

That first date, or at least the first time you considered a date, made you feel seen in a way that you never felt before. Seungcheol gave you his full attention the entire night, never looking bored. He seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying, from the bakery that took most of your time, to Chan, who was competing at the time so you were worried about him getting injured again. 

He walked you home after dinner, his fingers brushing yours from time to time until he finally held your hand. You felt your cheeks get warm as a small smile played on your lips. 

After that first date, the two of you were inseparable. When he got off work he went to the bakery and on the days he couldn’t make it, you found yourself texting him in between one recipe and another. For the first time, you felt clingy towards someone, it was like nothing before.

During the five years you dated Jun, it didn’t happen like that. You loved him with your whole heart, planned your life with him for years ahead of time, but also knew how to be without him. You lived your own life and he did the same, only seeing each other when there was time, especially during college when both of you lived almost completely on your own. Only meeting occasionally once a week, when there was even time to do so. 

With Seungcheol even when there was no time you wanted to meet him, talk to him, hear his voice, or read his words. Whatever little pieces of him you could get at a time.

The relationship moved forward quickly, faster than what you or anyone could have predicted. And yet you were the happiest you had ever been. Complete.

“Do you have to leave for work this early?”

You smiled, turning around while pulling your hair one last time through the hair tie. Seeing Seungcheol in the early mornings was like seeing a little piece of paradise every day. From the nest of hair, the small eyes, the throaty voice. Everything about him was very dreamlike, a fairytale of your own.

"Is not my fault you live so far away from downtown"

You sat down by his side, Seungcheol's hand immediately going to your waist. His fingers slightly pushed your shirt up so they could touch your skin. Your fingers reached for the exposed skin of his chest, tracing his tattoo. One that you had grown too fond of since the first few days, the wrong spelling of the word becoming something both of you laughed at.

"If you wait a little, I can take you. It's still dark outside"

Shaking your head you leaned forward, your lips brushing his for a second before pulling back. Your other hand moved to his hair, pushing it away from his face. 

"I drove here last night, remember? Don't forget though, Chan is coming for the weekend"

"I've met Chan before, you don't have to be nervous"

Seungcheol smile at you, entertained by your sudden nervousness. He hadn't met Chan yet, not really. Yes, he went with you to one of Chan's competitions but your brother wanted to celebrate with his friends and coach so you didn't bother to stay back. As soon as it was over you and Seungcheol left. So all your boyfriend saw was you screaming at anyone who dared to hit your baby brother and Chan fighting someone.

"I know, it's just… everyone is going to be there and we've never really done this"

By this Seungcheol knew that you meant the fact that even though you had been together for almost a year, neither of you had ever made things official, in a way. Your friends knew about your relationship but no one had really seen you two together often. That dinner and Chan were just an excuse to gather all of them and finally make it official.

"Hey, don't worry. We've got this"

Dinner with Chan was just ordering some takeout from different restaurants and eating at the store after hours. It was as simple as that. All of you gathered around a table, eating to your heart's content and talking to one another.

What was truly surprising about the night wasn't your first night with Seungcheol and all of your friends at the same time. Not at all. The most unexpected thing was that Chan showed up with a girl, holding her hand nervously. It was funny to look at them, your brother had never been that nervous around you - or anyone else for that matter. 

Like a good older sister, and partially responsible for Chan, you wanted to know everything about that girl. How they met, when they met, if they went to the same school, if she too did Taekwondo. But you didn't ask any of that, your brother would have killed you if you did. Instead, you just welcomed her, offered her a drink, and answered questions she had about the bakery. 

"You can do that older sister thing, you know? I don't mind" she said from behind you.

You hadn't realized that she followed you inside the kitchen. She was beautiful. Looking at her you would never think that she and Chan would fit together but seeing them side by side made you think that they were meant to be.

Meant to be.

"Are you his soulmate?" she went quiet for a few seconds, her eyes darting all over the kitchen before settling on you again "I'm not judging you, please don't think that. My boyfriend isn't my soulmate and the one before him wasn't either. I don't know why I asked that. I'm sorry"

She smiled at you then, her eyes turning into small crescents on her face. The unsettledness that covered her face just a second before completely vanished.

"In our case, I think it's more of a curse than a blessing" she moved away from the door, helping you with boxes of food and plates "My brother hates him and so does my dad"

Your mind suddenly went back to that day, almost two years before, when Chan and you were in the car with Jihoon. The Taekwondo athlete had been the one to mention his soulmate and had also been the one to brush it off, saying that they didn't get along at all. And then he just showed up with her, no warnings or anything.

"But I'm here now, so it probably means something"

You smiled at her then, passing her a tray while you held the other one. 

"It does. It means everything"

You smiled again, happy that whatever happened between the two of them was seemingly in the past, but still somewhat worried over the idea of her family not liking him. 

She walked out of the kitchen and Chan went in, right after her. He looked behind his shoulder for a second before closing the door and leaning against it, his arm crossed over his chest.

"What?" you looked at him.

Ever since you moved from the old apartment, Chan had gotten way more protective of you. One would think that he was actually the older brother, from the way he talked to you, always asking if you were doing good, if you were dating.

You knew that he somehow found out about Jihoon and the soulmate thing, probably through Yumi. He never asked and you never said anything. 

"I missed seeing you like this," he said quietly and you furrowed your brows at him, still smiling "Happy. You look happy. It's been too long"

You put the tray down and walked to him. You put your hands on his shoulder, forcing him to stand straight.

"Chan, I'm happy" you assured him "And even if my love life was a little all over the place for a few years, I was still happy because I had you"

He mimicked your stance, his hands moving to your shoulder too. The position was awkward, making you laugh and drop your hands by your side.

"I know but I'm not talking about those years and those idiots" he rolled his eyes and pulled you in for a hug "You seem free again, like when you were a teenager. I never told you this, but I always thought you were pretty cool. Even now, that you have this lovey-dovey look on your face, you're still pretty cool"

You pinched his side, causing a laugh to erupt from him, and took a step back, a smile still on your face.

It was so easy to forget sometimes that Chan had grown up over the years and if anything being an athlete helped with that. He was more responsible than most twenty-two-year-olds, he no longer needed your help and you were sure that he only asked for advice to entertain you.

"And for what is worth, I like him" he nodded at the door "I don't think I've ever not seen you smile while talking about him, so you deserve it. Don't ever let go of your happiness, please"

"Then I guess you're stuck with me forever"

It came as no surprise to Jihoon having people in and out of your apartment, the place you once called home, thinking if they should rent it or not. 

Everything happened so fast after the day you told him to get lost, that you wanted to end something that hadn't even truly started. One day you were there and the next you weren't, like you had disappeared into thin air.

He tried asking Soonyoung about you. Jihoon knew that the two of you were still in touch so asking about you to his childhood friend seemed like a good idea. But Soonyoung wasn't willing to say anything though, it didn't matter how much he begged and whatever he could promise. The doctor was true to his word and didn't say anything at all. 

And Jihoon did his best at staying away like he promised you many times but failed every single chance. 

That was why he kept coming around when he knew that it was probably best to stay away from you. When he knew that he should stay away from you. Whenever he was away though, he felt like he was missing a part of himself so he kept coming back. Jihoon made himself believe that it was better to have you close, even if it was in complete silence than to not have you at all.

What he didn’t know was that his actions were as bad for you as they were for him, if not worse. You made a good job of making him believe that you weren’t interested at all in him, that whether he was there or not didn’t make a single difference for you. You were right in front of him and yet he felt as if you were farther apart than when the bond wasn’t made.

When Jihoon told Mina about it, about you, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to expect. Maybe have her throw him out like it was the case with many others, have her scream at him, or have her tell him that it was okay if he walked away. He could never see it coming, the “so what? It doesn’t have to mean anything”.

That night Jihoon watched as she just turned on her side to sleep, only to wake up the next morning pretending that nothing at all ever happened. Never again Mina mentioned you. It seemed so easy for her to pretend that you didn’t exist at all. Her actions always made him wonder just when had she changed so much. If the roles were reversed and she had been the one to find her soulmate, Jihoon would have been more than happy for her.

As kids, the two of them always talked about what it would be like to find their soulmates. Jihoon coming from the way he was raised, with parents that were soul doctors and conversations that only revolved around soulmate bonds, and Mina having the natural curiosity every kid has.

It was so easy to remember her reaction when she first met Chanwoo. 

It happened during her first day of high school, she was a senior just like Jihoon and Soonyoung. When the three of them met during lunch Mina had a pink tint to her cheeks, the tray of food in her hands shook slightly as she walked towards their seat, looking behind her every couple of seconds to ensure someone was still there. From his seat Jihoon saw Chanwoo, a tall guy standing behind Mina, looking at her with the same kind of dreamy eyes she had on.

“Another crush?” Soonyoung teased when she sat down.

During their high school years, it was like Mina had completely forgotten about her soulmate, her interest being entirely focused on the guys at school and her latest crush. One would be surprised how fast she fell in and out of love but all of that could be blamed on raging teenage hormones.

Mina leaned forward, pulling the collar of her shirt to the side showing the now empty skin just below her collarbone, where her mark used to be. Unlike the one Jihoon carried on his wrist, Mina’s mark was just a simple pink glittery strip. She had always been proud of it, saying that she got lucky that hers wasn’t as horrendous as his snowflake or Soonyoung’s smiley face. But her mark was gone.

“If he is the one, what are you even doing here?” Jihoon asked.

He looked over her shoulder to see Chanwoo still standing there, staring at Mina’s back as if he had found his entire reason to live right in that second.

“Can I really do that?”

It was funny how sometimes Mina acted like a kid, who was used to asking permission for everything.

“I mean, we’ve eaten lunch together in the past, what? thirteen years? I don’t mind not having to talk about the latest fashion trend for a day”

One day turned into many and soon enough Mina was someone Jihoon only saw when passing through the hallways or when he was going home. And being honest he didn’t mind it that much. It’s not like he could simply overlook the years of friendship that the three of them shared but he was genuinely happy for Mina. When someone grows up the way they did, with soulmates being the center of their reality, it was only natural that she felt the need to stay with Chanwoo whenever it was possible.

Things only started to get back to normal during college. By then, Mina was far more used to having a soulmate and the idea of being away from him wasn’t as painful as it was at first. The honeymoon phase, as Jihoon and Soonyoung called it, was finally over. The trio then became a quartet and Chanwoo was a nice addition to their small group. Of course that sometimes it was troublesome, especially when Chanwoo and Mina got all touchy with each other. Other than that,  everything felt normal again. 

Or at least it did for a few years.

“You remember we have dinner with your parents tonight, right? It’s your mom’s birthday” Mina asked.

Jihoon looked up from his phone. He had been staring at the thing for 15 minutes without actually seeing the screen. It was open on the news but he wasn’t reading anything at all. She was in front of her dresser, looking at him through the mirror.

“Yeah. My dad wants to meet after work, though. You don’t have to run there after you finish it off at the office”

Mina smiled at him but it didn’t feel as before. When he was young seeing Mina smile made him somewhat feel happy too. Seeing his friends happy made him feel good, knowing that he had helped get that smile. But Mina's smile wasn't like that anymore, it didn't fully reach her eyes and was only there for show.

"Yeah, I'll see you then"

Working at the hospital, with kids, was the only thing that brought Jihoon some sort of solace, that made him feel more like himself. Though at times he hardly knew where the line was, between who he was and what people saw him as. Jihoon felt that in the hospital he was who he wanted to be. 

Growing up, it was clear to Jihoon that he was going to be a doctor. Whenever someone asked what he wanted to be, his answer was a straightforward doctor. Most people thought that he was simply following his parents' footsteps but that wasn't really what he wanted. 

His parents barely had contact with other people. The starting point for their research was people, yes, but to his parents, people were nothing more than data. Whatever they wanted to know could have been found through books and questionnaires, created by them but asked by others. 

Jihoon wanted the human contact a hospital doctor had. Maybe it was the way that grew up on his own, without his parents around all that much, or perhaps it was just something that he was born with. And being a pediatrician happened naturally. When thinking about which specialty he should take, the first thing that came to his mind was pediatrics. At first, Jihoon was stiff around kids, not knowing if he should talk to the kids or their parents, or how much strength he should use. Slowly, but surely, he got there.

"Your dad is in the waiting room," the nurse told him.

He was ready to leave, his clothes had been changed and his hair was wet from the shower he took. Jihoon knew that he was supposed to meet with his dad right after work but he didn't think, not once, that he would come into the hospital. His dad was a doctor, yes, but only at the title. The older man hated hospitals to the point he had to be dragged to one when he was sick.

Whatever reason brought Jihoon's dad to the hospital couldn't be a good one.

"Hi Dad," Jihoon said, awkwardly adjusting the bag on his shoulder. 

His dad wasn't a man of many words. Even when the man was furiously out of his mind, his words remained calm and very few. That's why Jihoon always thought, as a teenager, that he could get away with anything at all. All he would get from his father was a disapproving look and even more silence. As a grown man, Jihoon understood his actions as a way to get his father's attention, though it was futile because it never worked the way he planned. 

"So your mother said no to drinks before dinner but we are in charge of cake pick up, that should give us enough time"

It was so much like his dad, not even saying hi and going straight to the point. For Jihoon, it came as a surprise that his dad wanted to meet and talk. This time the initiative didn't start on his end. For once, his father was the one who started it, a text saying when and where to meet. Curiosity had been eating him alive, his mind bouncing all over the place wondering what was so important and secretive that couldn't be said during dinner in front of his mother and Mina. 

The two of them walked to the parking lot in complete silence. To be honest, it was something Jihoon was used to and a moment he found peace in. The soul doctor was a man of books and theory, Jihoon was sure he read every single book on maternity he could get his hands on before he was born and even some after. Words were never his strong suit but he always managed to show his support by being there when the moment mattered. Yes, it was true that his parents missed the day-to-day life, probably didn't see when his second and third tooth fell, and weren't home to help with school projects. That had been his nanny but his first words, first steps, teaching him how to ride a bike, graduations, any speech Jihoon had given, they were there. His mother was the more vocal one, his dad putting a hand on his shoulder and giving him a light squeeze as if saying you did good son.

And those words, even in silent form, meant more than anything else.

"Your mother ordered a cake from the bakery down the block"

Jihoon swallowed his saliva and nodded. His dad didn't have to give more information or directions to the place, he already knew it by heart. Not once had he been there after you told him to leave you alone. If you can't be with me fully then I don't want you at all. Your words hadn't been those but he understood what you meant. What you said had been carefully chosen. Even under those circumstances, you didn't want to hurt him.

After he left your apartment, Jihoon was numb - to say it nicely. During the following week of that morning, he didn't go anywhere except work. Soonyoung didn't say anything about it. When they had a chance to meet, their conversation had been minimal e nothing like the lively chat both of them often engaged in.

It felt weird to be with Soonyoung in silence. His friend had always been talkative, filling the silence with jokes and stories - at times saying the same thing more than once. Soonyoung was disappointed in him, Jihoon was certain of it.

Jihoon didn't complain and just drove there. When he parked in front of the bakery, he didn't get out of the car. The truth was that he couldn't. 

"I'll wait here"

His dad didn't fight him, he just got out of the car and went inside. As much as Jihoon tried to stop himself, he couldn't. He knew that he shouldn't but you were right there, and he hadn't seen you in two years. All we wanted to do was look at you, for a brief moment. 

And you looked gorgeous. 

Your hair was longer than before, your skin had a light tan on your skin - a sign that you had taken part in the street fair a week before -, and your smile was the brightest Jihoon had ever seen on your face. He watched, in pure amazement, as you talked to his father, laughing loudly at something he said. 

Suddenly you extended a hand to your left and a second later a man took your fingers in his hold. A weird lump formed in Jihoon's throat, his chest tightened and he felt as if he was short of air. The man snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his side and you looked up at him like he had rang all of the stars in the sky. As if he was the sole reason why you were on this earth. As if he was your soulmate.

Jihoon didn't expect to be taken over by jealousy, much less like that. He felt like he was ready to combust within his own body. He wanted to get out of there and pull you away from that man. 

You had someone and that person wasn't him. He knew that it wasn't his place, he had no right. He was with Mina, he refused to end things with her to be with you so he couldn't expect you to stay on your own. 

He couldn't say that it didn't hurt, because it did. A whole lot. And the guy by your side had the same look on his face. If he didn't know any better, Jihoon would have thought that the man was your soulmate, not him.

You said goodbye to his dad, a smile on your face as you handed him a second box. 

"Wish her a happy birthday for me!" you shouted from inside.

In the same way that Jihoon hadn't seen you, he also hadn't heard your voice. Back then you didn't talk a whole lot to him but he always heard your voice. When you talked with customers, with Soonyoung and Yumi, when you were on the phone with your brother. Your voice was a sound Jihoon didn't know he needed to hear during his entire life.

The passenger door opened and his father went inside, moving a little awkwardly as he tried to get inside without dropping both boxes on the floor.

"She's such a sweet girl, y/n. Why your dumb ass let her go is beyond me" his father sighed.

The older man's words should have made Jihoon surprised, but they didn't. Of course that if his mother knew, his dad would also know about you. He would have been childish and naive for thinking like that. How they found out who you were, was something yet to be discovered but when his parents wanted to know something they dug deep.

"Dad…"

The soul doctor held a hand up to stop his son from talking. His fingers drummed on the side of the boxes he carried. He wasn't a man of many words, he mostly let his wife do all the talking. Both of them agreed that she was better at it than he was. But he felt the need to talk for once. This time around he wanted his son to hear every word he had to say.

"You're holding onto Mina out of friendship, loyalty, guilt, and love to some extent. When you started your relationship, although we didn't show it the proper way, your mother and I were happy for you. Mina is, somewhat, of a nice girl and you've always been good friends" he sighed, thinking of what he should say carefully "Because of our research, you, as well as many others, were led to believe that it is harder, borderline impossible, to find your soulmate after you turn twenty-five but we were wrong. And you and that girl are the living and breathing proof of it. That girl inside the store, smiling at her boyfriend, is the one for you. She is the one who will complete you in a way that you never even knew you needed.

"We don't know how soulmate bonds are created and why they happened in the first place, but they exist. Something, someone, God, whatever it is, put the two of you together. Jihoon, you deserve that happiness. I'm not saying this because you are my son, because I feel the need to protect you. I'm saying this because you are a good person, someone who devotes his life to helping others."

His father sighed again, looking tired probably for the first time in years. Throughout his childhood and adolescence, Jihoon learned that his father was the kind of person to bury himself in his work until it was finally done - something Jihoon had learned to do, as well. Days would go by without his father going home and when he finally did he didn't look half as tired as this.

"I was never Mina's biggest fan, ever since she was a kid. You know that. I never hid it. She knows that if you don't leave her for your soulmate, you'll always stay by her side. Think about it this way, if the roles were reserved do you think that she would stay by your side? Do you believe that if Mina met Chanwoo now, while she is in a relationship with you, she would let him go to be with you?"

"No" Mina simply said, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind her.

For days, Jihoon thought about his father's words. Hours on end were spent, every single moment that he was by Mina's side. He analyzed every little aspect of their lives, from their childhood until now, when both were grown-ups that lived their own lives despite being a couple.

Jihoon had never given it much thought, how weird their relationship was. Even people that were just friends, that stayed by each other's side out of loyalty - much like Jihoon stayed by Mina's - seemed to have more interaction with one another. They hardly saw each other, once every two or three weeks. Texts and phone calls were barely there, and he was always the one to initiate their "meetings". All of it got even more sparse after you were gone from his life.

For a moment, as soon as Jihoon told Mina about you, she made sure that her presence was known. She wanted to come over to his place almost every day, his phone was flooded with her texts and missed calls. It was hard dodging her. It has gotten to the point where Soonyoung would also receive calls at work and the nurses always approached Jihoon saying that his girlfriend had called. She seemed to be desperate, you should call her back, they kept telling him. 

But all of it was just gone the moment Jihoon said that you wanted him out of your life. Thinking back now, truly analyzing it, especially after the conversation he had with his dad - who seemed to know a whole lot more about you than he did - the timing was just perfect. As if Mina was adapting her behavior to your presence in his life.

"Mina, we're talking about this" he tried to reason with her, following her out of the car.

It was stupid, he knew that. Mina was never the kind of person who liked to hear what others said. Her opinion was the only one that mattered. She would, sometimes, hear what Jihoon and Soonyoung had to say but only to entertain them. The final decision was hers and nothing they could do would change that.

"There's nothing to talk about. You want to break up, I said no. That's the end of the conversation"

Was it weird that Jihoon didn't know what Mina did for a living? She probably made a lot of money out of it, considering the place she lived and the kind of car she drove. He couldn't even remember what she graduated in. All he did know was that she was indecisive until the very last second.

He didn't know a lot about her, about who she was as an adult. Sure, he remembered this and that from their teenage years but he was certain that a lot had changed since then. Jihoon didn't have to go very far to see that. The reaction Mina was giving him right that second proved all of that.

"I bet she showed up again. Didn't she? That y/n" she said your name with disdain, as if by saying your name she got nauseous "She showed up again, saying this and that. Trying to get you away from me, I'm sure of it"

Jihoon just shook his head. You had nothing to do with his decision. Breaking up with Mina didn't guarantee anything. You had a boyfriend now. And by the brief moment Jihoon saw you and him together was enough for him to know that the two of you had created a strong bond, maybe even stronger than the one he created with you. 

He wouldn't blame you if you chose to stay with him. Jihoon had hurt you, more than he could have possibly imagined. His dad told him things about you - your parents, Jun your high school and college boyfriend. Knowing all of that made him feel even worse about how he left things. He didn't know how his dad had found out all of those things about you, his best guess was Soonyoung, but he trusted every single word that left his dad's mouth

"You say that but I don't believe you for a second. Do you suddenly want to break up? If nothing happened, there's no reason for this"

"Nothing has to happen. I'm just tired of this. This isn't even a friendship. We're strangers to each other. So what's the point of this? We saw each other more often when Chanwoo was alive"

Jihoon saw the change in Mina's eyes the second he said Chanwoo's name. Ever since he passed away it was prohibited to say his name, to bring up anything at all that was related to him in some way or another. He lost count of how many times Soonyoung got yelled at for it. 

"You don't get to have a happy ending when you took mine from me," she said between her teeth.

Her eyes shone with tears and anger, her cheeks suddenly turning a bright shade of red that started at the base of her neck. 

Ultimately that was where it started and ended.  

Jihoon remembered it clearly as if it was happening right in front of his eyes. Chanwoo and him went out like they did every once in a while. Mina had to work late, for whatever reason that night. They went to a bar and talked for a bit. The intention was to meet Soonyoung but he couldn't make it because his mom had called him.

Neither of them drank that night. Chanwoo said that since he still had to meet Mina, he didn't want to. She isn't the biggest fan of tipsy me and I’m driving. Chanwoo did everything in his power to make Mina happy, even things that he considered unnecessary or even wrong in some way or another. They were from very different backgrounds but those differences just vanished the second the bond was made. 

The second Mina called Chanwoo, they left. Chanwoo insisted on dropping Jihoon off at home. It wasn't far from the bar they were at and he would have to go through his block to get to Mina anyway. Jihoon sat in the passenger seat and put on his seat belt, Chanwoo didn't. While going through an intersection a car came full speed from the right. By the time Chanwoo noticed it was too late to stop the car but he tried to hit the brakes anyway, which was also a mistake. The car hit the passenger side with full force while another one hit them from the back.

Jihoon then woke up at the hospital, his parents and Soonyoung by his side. For days Mina was nowhere to be seen. No matter how many times he asked about Chanwoo, no one told him anything. His mother kept telling him, focus on your recovery, we'll talk about Chanwoo later.

The silence was what he needed to know that the worst had happened.

The first news he got about Chanwoo was delivered by Mina, who went inside his hospital room screaming at the top of her lungs. 

"It should have been you! Why do you get to live when Chanwoo is gone? Why is your life worth more than his?"

Soonyoung was quick to pull her out of the room, but not fast enough that Jihoon wouldn't hear it. His parents looked at each other before his mother took a step forward. Jihoon just shook his head. He understood why they hid it from him but that didn't mean that he had to like or be okay with it. 

A week later Jihoon was discharged and the first thing he did was look for Mina. He wanted to apologize, though he knew that he had nothing to be sorry about. He wasn't the one driving any of the cars involved in the accident and yet, he felt the need to. 

Unlike the last time, Mina seemed to have calmed down. When Jihoon entered the apartment she and Chanwoo were supposed to share, she didn't scream at him. The second she laid eyes on him, she started to cry. The ugly kind of cry, the one that comes from deep inside and takes over one's entire body. 

A year later, Mina started to ask Jihoon to go places with her. Lunch, dinner, the mall, a walk in the park, and then suddenly they were dating. 

"That's not true. We both know that"

Their relationship, as it was - or how it was supposed to be - started that like that. With both of them searching for solace in each other. It happened naturally. Neither of them had a soulmate, for entirely different reasons, but they found each other standing at the same spot.

Jihoon shouldn't have been so naive, though. He knew that Mina wasn't one to change her mind once she was set on something. He thought that what she said, all those years back in his hospital room, had been anger-driven and not close to the truth. 

"Look at you! You're right here, living your life to the fullest, following your dreams, and becoming who you wanted to be all along. And where is he now?" she pushed away her tears, enraged that she cried in front of Jihoon "So yeah, the way I see it the fact that you even exist is your happy ending"

She walked closer to him then, a vicious smile on her lips. Mina's hand reached for Jihoon's face, a sloppy and careless touch. 

"How pathetic you are. Thinking all along that I was ever in love with you. No, honey. I was disgusted every time you touched me, being around you made me sick. I was just making sure that at least one tiny bit of your life was miserable. Y/N doesn't want to have anything to do with you. Did you know that she has a boyfriend? And your parents and best friend are disappointed in you. If you leave me, you'll be completely on your own"

Her words were supposed to hurt him but Jihoon didn't feel anything at all. If anything at all, they freed him.

"Poor companies are worse than loneliness"

You dropped your purse on the couch and went straight to the bathroom. Your hands moved without any sort of thought, just reaching for the soap and throwing it inside the bathtub. The hot water would calm you, there was no mistake in that. It worked before, there was no reason as to why it wouldn't work again.

Just a few minutes to yourself, to allow yourself to think about what happened less than an hour before.

It was all set, you were ready to go home. 

You were locking everything down, turning the lights off, making sure that the gas was off. The usual routine. Seungcheol had gone to the car, taking with him the day’s leftovers. 

For once, you were looking forward to the weekend. You and Seungcheol made plans, a weekend out of the city somewhere only your boyfriend knew about. It was going to be the first time you stayed away from the bakery for more than a few hours at a time. 

Though you were worried, you wouldn't lose a night of sleep over it or call every other hour. Yumi knew what she doing, you hired someone to help her while you were gone and you were sure that Soonyoung would show up when he had a chance. Your store was in good hands. 

A weekend away with Seungcheol sounded too good to be true. You had been together for almost a year and not once you had done something like that. To be honest, you hadn't had two days off since college. Someone who owns a business, as small as it was, and who did all the baking couldn't afford to spend a weekend away. Though most of your customers were students and office workers, there was still a fair amount of people there at the weekend.

Your life, you felt, was finally falling into place. Everything was going forward exactly as you had planned years before. Chan was doing fine - he and his soulmate seemed to be working things out - the bakery was steadily growing and you could see yourself expanding sooner rather than later. You had someone you loved with all of your heart by your side. Your friends were happy, sort of.

When you first met Soonyoung you were certain that Yumi could be his soulmate. They were so much alike, though at first glance one wouldn't think so. Soonyoung seemed serious, unreachable even. His doctor persona came out before anything else. But the second you got to know him he became someone else, loud and cheerful. Always ready to make those around him laugh. Yumi was much like that, though she was a bit more aggressive in the way she showed love.

There was no mistake, at least to you, that they were a perfect fit. But suddenly Soonyoung showed up, holding someone's hand tightly saying "This is Dan Oh, my soulmate". What you didn't know was that he had known her for a while, a long one, before introducing you to her. Seungcheol knew too but claimed that it wasn't his place to say anything. You were a little hurt, of course. You felt that he was your friend, part of your family even, but he kept a big secret from you. 

It didn't matter how hurt you were, or what you felt. For Yumi, it was so much worse, her hurt was far greater than yours. She was sure that if neither she nor Soonyoung met their soulmate, they would get together. She had feelings for him. When he entered the store with Dan Oh you saw your friend wilt. Yumi looked sad, simply putting it. You started to go to her place almost every day, nursing her through her broken heart.

Having the two of them around each other was somewhat weird. Soonyoung, who was completely unaware of Yumi's feelings for him, now seemed to sense that there was something weird going on. Yumi, on the other hand, did her best to pretend that nothing happened, and tried to make Dan Oh feel welcome in your circle of friends. It's not her fault that she is his soulmate, it's mine for thinking that we could be something more.

You didn't try to fight her, just silently stayed by her side and supported her every decision. 

This weekend was supposed to be about you. Forty-eight hours worrying about no one except Seungcheol and yourself. For two days you didn't have to worry about Chan or the bakery. Your life was finally yours to enjoy to the fullest. It seemed too good to be true. And then it became just that.

You were turning the last switch off when the bell about the door rang. Turning around you expected to see Seungcheol. When it was time to close he always rushed you, saying that you didn't need to check the locks three times. This time though, it wasn't Seungcheol. You thought that you would see your boyfriend's tall figure but instead, you saw Jihoon's small one. 

No matter how badly you tried, your body just refused to obey your wishes. You should have pushed him out, screamed at him, tell him to never show his face in front of you again. But then there was a line between what you should have done and what you did. You just stood there, eyes on his face, and waited – for what exactly you were unsure of at the time.

You were seeing him for the first time in over two years and your heart was stuck. When you looked at him right at that moment it felt as if you were transported back to the very first time you spoke to him, in his apartment. You couldn’t consider the elevator meeting to be something more than it was. Back then you didn’t know so you couldn’t pretend.

When you talked to Jihoon in his apartment, though you were certain of his inevitable rejection, you thought of it as some sort of beginning. As he stood in front of you, in complete distress, you couldn’t help but think that him being there was some sort of ending.

“Mina and I broke up” was all he said.

The heart beating inside your rib cage stopped and you suddenly didn’t know how to pull air inside your lungs again. The words he said in that instant were the ones you longed to hear during the eight months you were around Jihoon. But hearing them now seemed odd, and not at all what you wanted

“I need to know that because?”

He took a step forward, and at the same time, you took one back. You shouldn’t get anywhere near Jihoon, the further apart you stayed from him the best.

“This is coming too late, I know.”

“You’re right, it is too late” you pushed the off switch and walked past him, forcing him out of the store “What makes you think that you can do this? I was ready to do everything with you. If you said the right word I was going to be by your side no matter what. But you played me the entire time, acted as if my feelings didn’t matter in the least. You made me, and everyone else, believe that you were the center of the universe and I mistreat my feelings and myself. What right did you have to do that?”

It would be a lie to say that you never thought about what you would say if you were to ever see Jihoon again. But thoughts of him were very few and far between. They never followed a constant path and that was why you usually stopped as soon as it started. Days when you thought of him were usually bad ones, in which your mind took you to dark places that weren’t cozy at all to be in. It was when you thought of yourself as someone who wasn’t worthy.

“That was never my intention, you know that”

He looked at you in such a way that it almost seemed as if he was lost. Before, whenever you saw him, you felt that Jihoon had his whole life figured out already. For the first time in three years, it felt as if you were on the right track, certain of yourself, while Jihoon looked like he didn’t know what to do next.

“It might as well have been because that was what happened, that was how I felt whenever you did that shit. But want to know what I finally figured out? That stupid mark that was on your wrist and my back doesn't mean anything, it doesn’t have to. I am my own person and I am happy, in a way I have never been. And you’re not part of that happiness, I don’t want you to be”

If you were allowed to say so, you weren't sure why you were acting like that, why you were feeling that certain way. It honestly didn’t make a lot of sense, not even to you, the person who was having those sorts of feelings.

You were inside the bathroom for hours, your body immersed underwater. There were so many thoughts going around in your mind that you couldn't focus on just one but there was one thing that was a constant amidst the craziness: Seungcheol.

He didn’t turn the lights on like he normally would, even though it was uncomfortable for him to be in the dark like that. He was never one to enjoy the darkness, not through his teenage rebellious years and certainly not as a grown man. But on that specific day, it felt like the most appropriate thing to do.

When he said yes to meeting you, he knew that he was setting himself up for a broken heart, probably the worst one he’s ever had. You weren’t Seungcheol’s first relationship, a topic that came up during your conversations more often than not, making him cringe at all the things he had said – it mostly made him regret the fact that he told you about them at all.

Going through those relationships, Seungcheol was always careful not to grow too attached to any of them. With all of his past relationships, the girls had their marks, and every single one of them was fascinated by his markless body. At his young age, Seungcheol liked it. He thought that it made him more interesting and in a way it did. But it also made him aware of where he stood and where he would always be stuck at.

From the day he was born to the day he died, Seungcheol would remain as the kid who didn’t have a mark.

He used to say that he was lucky, that he didn’t mind it at all, and that to some extent it made him happy that he was born without it. Those words were said out loud so many times that Seungcheol himself started to believe them. And then he met you. Someone who didn’t care in the least, who didn’t ask and made it seem as if it were the most important subject. And he liked that.

Being with you, even if it meant doing simple things such as going for ice cream or staying inside and watching a movie together, made him completely forget soulmates and marks. Neither of you ever made it seem like it was more than it was. Or maybe both of you made it seem like it was less than it truly was.

The life both of you led together was so simple, so ordinary, that was it so easy to lose himself in it. So easy to forget that you weren’t meant for each other, that whoever set up the souls didn’t think that the two of you were the perfect fit.

Living in a society that revolved around soulmates made it impossible for him to ignore it, impossible to wonder why he was the one who didn’t have a mark. It was like someone asking why they worked so hard and still got paid so little. So Seungcheol went ahead and got marks of his own, told people that the blue and red moon on his forearm was his mark. Suddenly he was like everyone else. But he knew, even if no one else did, that it was all a lie.

You never cared about it. When Seungcheol told you about his tattoo you looked at him as if you could understand him, as he wasn’t at all weird for doing that. Whenever you could, whenever you had the chance, when you didn’t even notice what you were doing, you would run the tip of your fingers over his tattoo. You looked at it like it held the answers to all the questions you could ask.

But in one night, a second at a time, the world both of you carefully built, the life you dreamed to have together, came crashing down. It reminded him that together you built a glasshouse, a sandcastle that could be taken down by a wave at any given moment. 

He didn’t have to ask to know who was that the man that walked inside the bakery at such a late hour. It was so obvious in the way both of you stood still in the dark store, the tension in the air powerful.

Jihoon.    

The wave that could destroy your castle had finally arrived.             

Seungcheol was many things in his life, but dumb wasn’t one of them. He didn’t have to ask, a single guess was enough. And when you didn’t say anything it only made matters worse. You were on edge the entire car ride back to your apartment, and didn’t say a single word – the opposite of your normal chatty self. The bags were tossed aside and you hurried towards the bathroom.

At first, he waited for you. Both of you were grownups and serious about each other so whatever it was, you had to talk about it - like you always did. After an hour he threw away that resolution and left. Seungcheol knew just how much of a hard time you had when you had to give someone bad news, how long it took you to build up the courage to do so.

So he left quietly, made sure to lock the door on his way out as silently as he could. Seungcheol wished he had somewhere else to go besides home, someone he could talk to. He knew that he could call Soonyoung or Yumi, a random person at a bar would do the trick too. Instead, he went home, the solitude of his bedroom was the only place he truly wanted to be.

He couldn’t sleep though, not for a few short minutes or the hours following it. It’s over, all of it. Was the only thing he thought about. No other words or memories came to mind, just those five.

“I’m sorry” Seungcheol opened his eyes but didn’t dare to move. A delusion of his mind, he was certain that it was all it was. If he moved the smallest inch then it would vanish into thin air. You would vanish “I know you’re not sleeping. You can’t when we fight. It’s not like we fought really but let’s say it’s the same thing for now”

A smile betrayed his lip. It always happened when you became witty with your words, and called him out on his shit. Instead of getting angrier, he found it amusing, enough to make him forget about what he was angry about just a second before.

“You had to think and you like to do that on your own, so I left”

You left your position by the door and walked across the room, easily taking a seat by his side on the bed. It was so easy, you figured, to be with him. Whenever you were around him, close to Seungcheol, you felt like you were at home. Everything one was supposed to feel when they meet their soulmate, you felt with him. The sweaty hands, the butterflies, the heartbeat increase, the happiness, the giddiness. The feeling of finally being home. All of it.

“I was on my own in the bathroom. Why did you leave?”

Reaching forward you ran your hand through the strands of his hair, something that you had taken a liking ever since you met him. The first time you did it was only to push his hair away from his face and then it just became a habit. You knew that sometimes, especially when you first started your relationship, Seungcheol was surprised when you reached for him, but all of it would suddenly become the other way around when he pulled your hand close to his head.

“You know why”

“No, I don’t. Please, do enlighten me”

You knew exactly what Seungcheol was talking about, he didn't have to say the words out loud. But this time around, even if it was something you had talked about many times before, those words had to be said. Just once, it couldn't be something that was in the air.

Actions matter more than words but sometimes words are necessary.

"Jihoon is back. That means you're going to leave"

The hand that was in his hair ran down to his face, your other hand came up to his face as well. Your thumbs going back and forth over his cheekbones. You intended to make him look at you, even if it was too dark to do so. It was an attempt to make him listen to you.

"I'm not"

Seungcheol nodded in your hands, his own hands going to your waist like they always did when you were by his side. For him, it was a way to keep the memory of you for as long as he could. 

"You won't be able to stop yourself. That's okay, honestly. It's the sort of life we live"

"Why are you giving up on me so easily? If you think that I was going to stay with you until the day Jihoon showed up saying that he was finally ready, you're wrong. I didn't know you would think so little of me"

He pulled away from you and sat up, leaning to the side slightly to turn the light on. Seungcheol was still wearing the same clothes he had on when he left your house, down to his jeans. His hair was a mess, caused by your hands just as much as his. 

"You know that's not it. It's not like you couldn't make it work with him. There's probably a reason the two of you are soulmates. Who am I to stand between you?"

"The one I chose, that's who you are. You're right, we could have probably made it work. Maybe because it was easy, maybe because we thought that we had to. I wish people would stop telling me what I should do, who I should be with. It has been this way my entire life, since the day I was born, because of that stupid mark. I didn't ask to be born with it and I certainly won't let it rule my life. At least, not anymore"

Maybe in a world where soulmates didn't exist, a time when a deity didn't choose who people should be with, a place where people did truly have their free will, you would be angry at him for not trusting you from the start. As he said, in the world you lived in, you could understand where he was coming from. 

You took his hand and placed it over your chest, right above your heart.

"This isn't yours because of a stupid mark, because someone said so. It's yours because I want it to be, because little by little you overtook it and made it home. I love you. Not because someone told me to, but because I want to. Don't ever doubt my feelings again, not even for a second. If they change I'll be the first one to tell you. I'll be honest like I have been from day one with you"

You could see it I'm his eyes, the desperation to believe you but he had been left behind way too many times so it was hard.

"I don't know if I ever loved Jihoon, truly," you said honestly "Meeting him, knowing that he was my soulmate brought me to this place where I felt as if I should. So I made myself picture him in my life. There wasn't a switch, I didn't meet him and was suddenly in love. It was more of an obligation, in a way. But being with him hurt me so much because all I got from him was rejection. He rejected me from the start and I always felt so little next to him"

Seungcheol squeezed your waist, his eyes searching for yours with care and adoration. So much love. You smiled, reaching for his neck, while your thumb traced his jawline, his plump lips.

"And with you… I never questioned my actions, never felt as if I was any less. I always felt like I could truly be myself with you, from that first day at the bakery. My heart skipped a beat when you said hi, when you shook my hand, and smiled at me. You might not believe me, but you had me from that moment"

You moved your hand, back to his hair. You needed him to believe you, needed that frown to leave his beautiful face. There was no version of the world in which you didn't want Seungcheol, where you'd leave him for anyone else.

"Since meeting you, Jihoon has been nothing more than an afterthought. My reaction today was a reflection of who I was while around him and I hate that, I hate that I made you feel like this” you scooted closer to him “You're not my soulmate and I'm not yours either.  But I am yours. You're the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with, that I want to have a family with. I have this dream where you're sitting in the bakery, a baby in your arms. Our baby. I am never going to leave you. By your side is the life I envisioned for myself, the life I want. And if our souls truly do live many different lives then I will find you in the next one and I will love you again, choose you again"

Seungcheol's lips were on yours barely half a second after you were done talking. His arms went around your waist, pulling you as close as you could be. Your legs on each side of his thighs.  His lips were anxious against yours as if still looking for answers. The warmth of his body was everything you need to feel assured. The way he held onto you, so desperately, was how you felt on the inside.

"Don't give up on me, even if I seem like a lame soap opera character"

You smiled against his neck, your arms circling it as you moved back slightly.

"You're not lame, just a little weird for watching it so fervently"

"A weirdo you like"

You brushed the tip of your finger over his nose and his lips.

"A weirdo I love"

hi! thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed it.

[bats-and-birds-24]

Tim Drake Acquires Three (3) Siblings:

Chapter 1:

It was the Joker's fault.

Tim hadn't intended to be captured by the Joker gang. He was just there to do a routine patrol, stop a couple muggings and be on his merry way.

Instead, he managed to fall face first into an ambush set to capture Robin. He managed to fight off the joker lackeys and got away with only a few scrapes and bruises, maybe a dislocated shoulder as well.

When he got back to the cave, he didn't know what he was expecting, maybe a grunt of approval, or if he was really lucky, a pat on the back for doing his job well.

That wasn't what happened.

He got benched.

Indefinitely.

Officially, the reason was so that he could fully heal before returning to the field.

Unofficially, it was so that Bruce could re-evaluate whether having a Robin at all was a good idea.

He knew he wasn't as good as Dick or Jason, judging from how friendly Bruce used to be when out on patrol with them.

Tim had proof.

Photos upon photos of Dick climbing on Batman while B silently smiled, or pictures with Jason where he would get a pat on the back with a "good work, chum." tacked on.

Tim got none of that.

The most he got from Bruce were grunts of affirmation meaning that he had heard what Tim had said, or the occasional soft 'hrn' which meant that he was thinking.

He knew he wasn't wanted. He knew that Bruce had chosen the other two while all he had done was push himself into the life of a man grieving the loss of his son.

A flash of shame shot through him as he thought of the first time he cornered Bruce to give him the elevator pitch on why he needed a Robin.

B gave him a batglare so full of venom that Tim thought his skin would be stripped off his flesh.

"Robin's done, he's dead. No one else can be Robin again." Was the curt reply.

Tim winced at his own stupidity when he heard that. Of course Bruce would think he was trying to replace Jason. He needed to clear this up immediately.

But Tim was never great with words. His second attempt may as well have had him arguing with a brick wall. The second he opened his mouth, Batman grappled away without even hearing a word he said.

But Batman needed a Robin. So he went to the one person who understood this better than anyone else; Dick Grayson, the first Robin, or as he was known as now, Nightwing.

The trip to Bludhaven was hard, but convincing Dick was harder. He was almost as vehemently against the idea of there being another Robin as Batman was. 

After assuring him that he had no intention of taking Jason's place and showing him all the graphs and statistics he had on how violent Batman was becoming, Dick finally relented.

Even with Dick's support, it had been a pain to convince Bruce. It was ultimately Alfred's approval of him that allowed him to become Robin.

However, his trials didn't end there. Every decision he made, every step he took was scrutinized by Batman. He had to prove himself everyday that he was capable of being Robin.

Today, he thought he'd done well. He'd fought off his attackers, he kept his head down and didn't make a fuss.

He didn't even call for back up lest he interrupt Bruce while he was doing something important.

Tim didn't understand why he was benched.

But then it clicked. 

Dick or Jason wouldn't have gotten caught in the first place. All this time he thought he'd done well when in reality he was miles behind where they used to be.

Tim felt cold as he ate his dinner. Bruce excused himself and went up to his bedroom.

At Alfred's behest, he went to bed as well.

If his tears stained the pillow, no one else needed to know.

[kesujo]

Chapter 7: A Game of Chess - Part 3

Previous part here.

Note: this is not the final chapter. Why I put this here will be evident as you read :D

“Ooh yeah, you did promise me that we would fuck on the balcony another day! Sure, let’s do that!”

Why did he have to open his stupid mouth? “On second thought, isn’t it way too cold?”

“Hm, I’ll give you the choice then: the hallway or the balcony?”

While at first, choosing the hallway seemed the better choice since he initially figured the only people showing up on the floor would be those that arrive on the elevator (considering they were on the 7th floor of the apartment complex) which would give them plenty of time to hide back inside the apartment, giving it a bit of thought made him realize there was also the consideration of someone leaving their apartment at night. And while the chances of that seemed low, so did the chance of someone going out onto their balcony so late on an albeit not-so-cold winter night.

What this basically meant was that there was no correct answer. Only wrong ones.

“How about we just go to my bedroom, but I open the window and have you hanging out from there? It’s pretty much the same thing—”

“Nope. Balcony or hallway.”

Parker didn’t want to choose. He really didn’t want to choose.

“What about—”

“I’m not taking any other options. Choose between one or we’re doing both.”

With all of their previous sexual encounters, there was always some kind of visual barrier or significant distance between them and Hunter. Maybe not them and prying eyes, but at the very least between them and Hunter. A wall, a door, a blanket even – they all gave the two a chance to obfuscate things or hide if Hunter showed up. However, this time, there wouldn’t even be that; if Hunter arrived on the floor and the two didn’t make it to the safe side of the door in time, or if Hunter stepped out onto the balcony for whatever reason before they could make it back inside, he had direct line of sight of them in the act. And that prospect, of having such little leeway to hide, was the most terrifying one.

He had to choose, but was lacking the most crucial piece of information: was Hunter home yet? It didn’t seem that way when Jessica first showed up to his apartment with the chessboard in hand, but it was plausible that he arrived home during their chess game. If Hunter had yet to return, then going to the balcony would be the better idea because they could aim to finish before he would even have the chance to go out onto his balcony. If Hunter did return home already, then choosing the hallway might be the better option.

Dwelling on it would lead to doing both though, so Parker quickly threw that consideration out the window. That left Parker deciding the lesser of the two evils being the balcony; in the hallway, they had a chance to be seen by anyone living on their floor, or even any guests of his floormates. On the balcony, they were only at risk of being seen by the people living in the apartments directly to his left and right. Plus, choosing the balcony gave them the added benefit of having the shroud of night that could act as another barrier between them and prying eyes, especially considering it was a new moon that night.

“…Fine. the balcony.”

Jessica beamed, excitedly grabbing Parker’s arm and dragging him towards the sliding glass door, at the moment covered with cloth blinds. “Good choice! That was my personal choice, too!”

Parker had made the decision purely based on his desire to not be caught, but as he neared his balcony, another, strikingly obvious factor came to mind. “It’s going to be really cold if we go outside like this, are you sure you don’t want to put on something?”

Jessica turned around, her beaming smile still on her face. “It’s OK; after all, my personal warmer is right here!” she stated, patting his hand. “And yours is right here~” Jessica said, using her free hand to tap her ass playfully.

A million more questions of practicality ran through Parker’s mind, but he knew Jessica would have an answer to all of them. As always, he just needed to bear with it and get through this and then be done with it. Nothing’s happened so far, so there was no reason to expect anything different today.

Repeating that to himself didn’t help his racing heart the moment they stepped out into his balcony. His fingers instinctively curled up, an intense shiver running through his body as it began shaking to counteract the cold winter night assaulting his bare body. However, that feeling was quickly pushed to the back of his mind when he saw Jessica’s smaller body reacting even more, almost visibly shaking in response to the brisk winter night.

Momentarily forgetting it was her who had pushed them to be out here, Parker reached out with a concerned hand. “You’re way too skinny for this, let’s just go back inside.”

This time, it wasn’t Parker’s desire to squirm out of Jessica’s antics speaking but a genuine concern for the frail, albeit curvaceous, woman. It was seeing her turn around with a wide smile on her face despite so clearly shivering from the cold that reminded Parker this was Jessica’s insisting that they were out here. “If you’re so worried about me being cold, then you should come here and warm me up!”

Frankly, it was shocking to Parker to see her maintain her excitement despite her voice shaking so much, her shivering intensifying as a stray breeze swept across the balcony. Having spent so long inside Parker’s warm yet slightly stuffy apartment, the crispness of the cold air was refreshing to an extent—however, the biting coldness that felt like was seeping into his bones, the feeling of thousands of prickling needles piercing his skin, more than made up for that.

“Jessica, we’re both going to catch a cold, let’s just go back inside.”

“Well, at this rate, of course we are,” she protested, pulling Parker closer to her, who was nearly touching the railing of the balcony, “So why don’t we get started and make it hotter?”

With both hands gripping the smooth wooden railing, Jessica leaned her upper body over so that her boobs were hanging off the side of the balcony, shaking her round, shapely ass at him. The lack of light made it hard to see, the slivers of her precum trickling down her thighs made just barely visible enough by the light from the stars that night. It was an undeniably, incredibly sexy sight, and Parker hated himself for getting turned on by it.

There wasn’t a point in resisting though. The more he resisted, the longer they would stay out here, the more likely both of them would get a cold. And who knows what would happen if he disobeyed Jessica, what with all the blackmail she had already accumulated of him. Maybe getting turned on wasn’t such a bad thing, because the faster they’re done with this, the sooner they could get back inside and hide from the prying eyes of their neighbors, especially the neighbor who was wedded to the naked woman in front of him.

Parker repeated that sentiment to himself as he reached forward and gently grabbed her hips. Jessica visibly reacted to that, her head turned back with her brows furrowing and eyes twinkling with excitement. “This has got to be the dumbest fucking idea you’ve ever had.”

“Well, technically it was your idea.”

“It—” Parker couldn’t deny it, so instead he said, “—well, better than the hallway.”

Jessica opened her mouth, undoubtedly to unleash another lewd, snarky remark, but was summarily silenced by a sharp gasp and a shudder, this time of pleasure, as Parker pushed his member inside her. “Oh, fuck…” were the words that ended up coming out of her mouth, the warm breath leaving her mouth in a visible puff accompanying the lust-filled sound.

Parker found himself shuddering again, the stinging coldness replaced by a more soothing feeling as his penis became enveloped by the warm, tight embrace of Jessica’s pussy. Inserting himself back inside the hole he had gotten much too familiar with recently, Parker couldn’t help but let out a groan with shaky breath. Fortunately, the sound was drowned out by the slew of erotic sounds of ecstasy leaving Jessica’s mouth.

“Fuck, oh shit, I can never get over how fucking huge you are…”

Her warm breath continued to leave her mouth in translucent puffs, her thin yet sturdy body wracked with similar shivers not from the cold. Thanks to having already been stretched out a bit during the game, it didn’t take Parker long to fully sheathe his cock inside Jessica, her considerably colder skin connecting with the cool skin surrounding his crotch and upper thighs.

“God, fuck, you’re filling me up so much, it’s so hot inside me~”

There was a clear difference from feeling the cold winter breeze biting at her sensitive, swollen nipples and feeling Parker’s massive, piping hot cock stretching her walls to their limits, but both had a part in the waves of pleasure that were assaulting her body. So, the combined attack from the two just about overwhelmed Jessica, so much so that she didn’t even notice that Parker wasn’t moving, instead electing to press up against her as much as possible.

To Parker, the situation was just too insane to even comprehend. It wasn’t enough that he was fucking the wife of his best friend of almost a decade because she was blackmailing him, it was because he had lost a game of chess to her, during which they had already fucked. And to top it all off, they were also on his balcony, in the middle of the winter. All with the distinct possibility that Hunter was already home, or could come home, and step out into his own balcony, turn his head to the side and catch them red-handed.

As guilt-ridden as he felt, the more pressing issue was the biting chill of the winter night. So, to compensate for the heat his body was leaking, he pressed himself against the only warm thing in his vicinity: Jessica. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to really protest for a solid ten seconds or so, all the stimulation she could ever want coming from mother nature itself, only speaking up when she finally began to acclimate to the sensory overload. “My upper body is also cold, why don’t you come warm that up too~”

Bringing his gaze down to the shivering figure of Jessica, another pang of guilt struck his body; not from the fact that he was performing an adulterous activity, but because of how cold she seemed to be.

Plus, he was also freezing cold.

Armed with that excuse, Parker obeyed, leaning forward and pressing his chest against her smooth back, his arms coming around and wrapping around her stomach.

“Not there.” Jessica guided his hands upwards, resting them on the two bountiful mounds on her chest, making sure his fingers ended up brushing against the nearly frozen, hardened nubs at the peaks of both mounds. “Here. They’re so cold, aren’t they? Warm them up for me, Parker?”

It always confounded Parker how Jessica was able to speak in such a cute manner while her tiny pussy was being split apart by his oversized cock.

Without much of a choice, Parker again obeyed Jessica’s request, squeezing the soft skin beneath his palms. Jessica let out another sigh, her back arching towards his hands to grant him better access to them while simultaneously pushing her firm, shapely ass against his groin. Parker gritted his teeth, holding back a moan of his own, as he tucked her slim legs inside his own. Jessica moved her arms over his arms, that were pressed against her sides, to partially cover them, her own hands resting on her stomach as her waist pressed up against the curved, smooth, wooden surface of his balcony’s railing.

“More~”

The melodic moan was quickly swept away by another stray breeze, the chill sending another shiver down the spines of both parties. After taking a few more breaths, Parker increased his efforts, rubbing and kneading the plush skin. Jessica’s accompanying sighs and gasps fueled him more, rolling her erect nipples between his fingers.

“Ah, fuck…”

In response to the stimulation, Jessica started to grind against Parker’s crotch, the friction created by the action pushing out a moan from the unsuspecting man.

“Mmm, fuck, it’s so fucking good…” Whether she was referring to the cock squeezing between her pussy lips or the firm pair of hands kneading and massaging her tits, Parker was unsure. “More, Parker! Pinch my nipples, punish me for forcing you to come outside to feel your monster cock destroy my pussy!”

Parker grimaced, his heartbeat momentarily spiking at the reminder that Hunter could come out at any moment, but acquiesced nonetheless. Taking the swollen nubs between his index finger and thumb, he gently rolled it for a few seconds before applying a firm pressure on them. Jessica let out an emphatic moan, throwing her head back as her back arched even more, the lustful sound quickly disappearing into the dark winter night.

“Yes, fuck! Just like that! More!”

Jessica’s hip movements upped in its pace, grinding against his groin even harder as Parker continued to assault her tits with his hands, pushing and pulling at the skin while occasionally pinching the teats at the peaks of her mammaries.

Parker would never admit it, but there was something addicting about Jessica’s boobs. Was it the softness of the skin? The ease in which it yielded to his hands? Was it how squeezable her nipples were? Or was it her reactions? Was it that Jessica’s constant demands for more meant that he was free to be as rough as he wanted with them? Was it a combination of them, or was it all of the above?

The effects of his hands’ harsh treatment of her perky tits also reflected in her vaginal walls closing in and clamping over his dick, slathering layer upon layer of precum over its length. There was always some degree of discomfort accompanying the incredible tightness of Jessica’s tiny pussy, but this time it felt worse than usual.

“Jessica, I—fuck—I need to pull out, you’re too tight.”

“No, I’ll get cold!”

“I just need a second or two.”

“But I didn’t come outside just to have my tits fondled, I wanted you to give me a good fucking. That should help with the problem, right?”

Parker gritted his teeth in reluctant obedience, digging his feet into the balcony’s floor and pulling out a few inches before pushing the entire length back inside.

“Oh, fuck…”

Another wave of ecstasy rolled down Jessica’s body as Parker himself grimaced. “Shit…” he murmured, taking a second to steel himself before repeating the action.

“Ooh, oh, god—!”

A shaky gasp escaped Jessica’s lips, her body shuddering as the rock-hard shaft pulled against her vaginal walls, taking another quick breather before sliding back inside.

“Fuck…”

Another gasp as Parker pulled out, this time managing another inch, followed by another moan as he buried his cock back inside Jessica’s pussy.

“God, why are you so fucking tight?”

“You’re asking me when you’re shoving that monster of a cock inside me?”

“You weren’t this tight earlier,” he complained, pulling out nearly half of his length from Jessica. This time, he couldn’t help but let out a muffled moan, his own body shuddering from the pleasure of the sensation of her slick walls gliding along his cock. “Does the cold winter air really turn you on this much?”

“God, fuck yes!” Parker put the claim to the test, cupping each breast around the areola but leaving the nipple uncovered and exposing it to the elements. Sure enough, when the next stinging winter breeze blew past, the assault on her exposed nipples causing a scream of ecstasy muffled just barely in time by her hands flying up to cover her mouth.

“Shit!”

Just when the feeling of the slight discomfort was being drowned out by everything else, the increased tightness resulting from his little experiment caused Parker to immediately cover the sensitive region of Jessica’s tits up for fear of further discomfort.

“Harder, Parker! Faster!”

“Quiet down, if Hunter’s home, he might be able to hear you,” he hissed.

“Right … fuck…”

Jessica was soon able to match his rhythm, their pace increasing in tandem in the face of the cold winter’s relentless assault on their exposed skin. While their movement was generating heat, it wasn’t enough to counteract the chill; his legs and crotch were relatively fine, but his back, his face, even the backs of his fingers were forced to take on the coldness seeping into his bones. For Jessica, it was a different story; she reveled in the sensation, let the cold sink into her body, swallowing the sharp, crisp, cool winter air with every inhale. The sharp contrast between the heat from each other’s bodies to the frigid outside air drove Jessica closer towards her orgasm, and pushed Parker to work harder to keep himself warm. By the time Parker was retracting most of his dick on the outtake, he could start to feel the resistance of his balcony’s wooden railing on the other side of Jessica’s waist.

It was a good thing these railings aren’t metallic.

It was right when that thought came to him that, somehow, from the corner of his eye, he detected movement. Fear took over his body, pulling Jessica upright and carrying her backwards. She let out a squeal, muffled by his hand that hastily covered her mouth, the other arm across her boobs to flatten them as much as possible. Parker flinched upon feeling his bare ass press against the cold glass pane of the sliding door to the balcony, biting back the sharp gasp from the sudden sensation. Fortunately, Jessica seemed to catch on, holding her breath, desperately trying to stay standing on the tips of her toes to make up the height difference, his cock still lodged deep inside her and pressing firmly against her cervix.

He turned towards the source of the movement and, sure enough, the once-closed blinds of the shared bedroom of Hunter and Jessica opened, Hunter’s face just barely not visible from the position Parker had pulled them into. However, even if their faces weren’t visible, was anything else?

Parker’s heart shot into overdrive, his grip on Jessica’s body instinctually tightening, his arm across her boobs applying firmer pressure on the only thing Hunter was potentially in a position to spot.

Were they safe? Did he pull them back in time? Did he see anything? Or was he just pretending not to see anything? And why did he open the blinds to his bedroom anyway? Why didn’t he turn on any lights? Did he—

“Ow, fuck.”

The fear that had gripped his mind took a momentary backseat to a momentary flash of pain as Jessica’s pussy tightened around Parker’s cock for a brief moment, as if it were a hand giving the stiff rod a squeeze.

“Really?” he said to Jessica in a brusque whisper.

“I can’t help it,” she whispered back, Parker’s hand having move from her mouth to helping his other arm flatten her boobs as much as possible.

As quickly as the blinds opened, they closed, leaving the pair sighing in relief. The tension in Parker’s muscles let go, his arms dropping to his side, a deep sigh leaving his mouth. “We’re going back inside.”

“No! We’re not going back right as it’s getting good!”

“Are you crazy?” As dumbfounded as Parker was, he made sure to keep his voice low, knowing how terrible the sliding glass doors were at keeping sound out. “Hunter’s home already! Do you want to get caught that badly?”

“It’ll be fine!”

“But—” Parker scoffed, not knowing what he could say to convince the sex-crazed woman otherwise. “I don’t even know what I should say to someone reacted like that.”

“Well, that was the first time you ever were proactive in manhandling me, so of course my pussy would tighten.”

Did that mean—no, Parker didn’t even want to think of the implications of that statement. Because if he ever ‘proactively manhandled’ Jessica, it would’ve almost seemed like he lost, somehow. The competitive side of Parker flared up at the thought—he wasn’t about to lose to Jessica twice.

“Plus, Hunter opening those blinds means he’s unlikely to do that again, right? If anything, that means that we’re safe.” While the logic wasn’t completely infallible, it did make some sense. Parker wasn’t going to lie: now that they had already survived Hunter opening his bedroom blinds briefly, for whatever reason, he felt much more secure about getting caught than before, when he wasn’t even sure if Hunter was home. “Bring me back to the railing, I wanna finish in that position we were in.”

After a second of hesitation, the frustrated man let out a sigh.  “This is so dumb.”

In a way, Parker had already lost to Jessica, on that one day when Jessica captured that risqué picture of the two of them, the pile of blackmail against him only growing. Defeated as he was, Parker brought Jessica back to the railing nonetheless, taking a few seconds to situation themselves before settling into their previously established rhythm. This time, Jessica wasn’t nearly as vocal, but still let Parker know her satisfaction through other means: the way her silky legs rubbed against his, the way her arms pressed up against his shook, even the splashes of juices that were slowly covering his groin that felt like was freezing to his skin from the winter air seeping through on the outtake of every thrust.

With Jessica’s pussy tighter than before, Parker had to use more force not only to push himself in, but even pull himself out—however, now that he was cautious of Hunter, Parker’s movements slowed down. Instead of slamming right into her, Parker moved to instead rolling his upper body so that their connection didn’t create such a loud slapping sound.

While Jessica understood the need to restrain themselves, the restlessness she felt from her increased horniness and how close she was to orgasm drove her crazy.

“Parker, you’re being too quiet,” she said, her head turned around to look backwards at him.

“What?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I mean. Call me a—”

This time, it was Jessica who first noticed, Parker a second later catching on when, out of the corner of his eye, he again detected movement.

His heart leapt to his throat, his head turned just enough to see the sliding glass door opening.

Oh, fuck.

Both of them froze, understanding that sudden movements might catch the eye of Hunter, who was standing at the doorframe between his apartment and his balcony.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What was he going to do? What was he going to say? How was he going to explain things to Hunter?

Parker dared not so much as breathe, fearing the sound would capture the attention of the man who was actually leaning away from them at a slight angle, his head tilted upwards, his gaze seemingly fixated on the moonless night. He could barely notice the quickly tightening sensation on his cock until it shifted from a discomfort to pain. At this point, Parker wasn’t really that surprised given what happened minutes ago, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to chastise Jessica for it.

Not only was he fighting against the cold, he was also fighting his body’s own desire to gulp the air his ferociously pumping heart demanded, and now he was also fighting the incredible tightness at which Jessica’s pussy was squeezing his cock. His hands shaking, his lungs constricting, his muscles tensing, Parker had to fight against every nerve in his body to remain as still as he could, completely flush against Jessica’s body leaned over his balcony, her upper body hanging off the edge with his hands still cupping her boobs.

Go inside. Please go back inside. Please don’t turn this way. Just go back inside, please.

Parker could only pray, keeping a close eye on the man from the corner of his peripheral vision. Hunter’s face was barely distinguishable with only the light of the stars to illuminate it; and while that meant Hunter might have a hard time noticing them due to the poor lighting, the fact that Parker was able to distinguish Hunter’s facial features meant that all it would take was for Hunter to turn his head their direction to notice his wife fucking his best friend.

After what seemed like an eternity, Hunter took one last deep breath of the cold winter air before retreating back into his apartment.

Only a few seconds after the door closed did Parker sigh a breath of relief. With the vacuum left behind by the fear and anxiety in his system vanishing, what ended up replacing it was a panicked, guilt-induced anger.

“I’m not doing this anymore. I don’t care if—”

Parker stopped, grimacing, his hands now on Jessica’s slim waist, attempting to pull out but finding himself unable.

“Why can’t I—fuck, why can’t I pull out?”

“Guess you have no choice but to finish me off~”

Seeing the smug reaction from her, despite what had just transpired, set something off inside Parker.

“You fucking bitch.”

The words came out as almost a growl, Jessica’s eyes sparkling with an unparalleled delight and excitement as Parker grabbed Jessica’s waist with one hand, pulling her backwards while the other hand reached behind him to open his balcony door back up.

“You’re really that fucking horny, huh? You crazy, sex-crazed slut, you really want to get off to my cock that badly?”

While the words were clearly fueled by anger rather than lust, they excited Jessica nonetheless. “Well, what are you going to do to me then?” she mewled, nuzzling her head against his neck. “Are you going to punish—ah!” her sentence was cut off by a squeal as Parker picked her up in one motion, her legs propped up by his sturdy hands and dangling midair as Parker carried her back inside, still connected by her sex. Entering the heated apartment, the two shuddered as the stinging coldness was replaced with an enveloping warmth, comfort skittering down their bodies.

Parker carried them as far away from Hunter as he could get and wordlessly deposited Jessica onto his bed, barely giving her time to get on her feet properly before placing his hands on her waist and ramming into her.

“Fuck! Parker, oh god!”

“You want it so badly huh? You want to get off so badly, you’d risk your own husband catching you red-handed, cheating on him?”

“Yes! I love—!”

“Shut up!” Parker knew his emotions were getting the better of him, but frankly, he didn’t care. “You don’t talk. You just listen to me. Got it?” Jessica nodded, barely able to hold the chorus of ecstatic screams inside her small body from the intensity of Parker’s pistoning. “You’re such a fucking whore that you actually got tighter when Hunter entered your field of vision while fucking another man. And, the second time, your fucking slutty pussy got so tight that I couldn’t even pull out of you.”

Unable to contain herself, Jessica let out a loud, powerful ecstatic moan as her body shook from the orgasm wracking her body.

“Can you not live without my cum inside your pussy for a couple of days?” No response. “Huh?”

“No!” Jessica replied, her voice shaking from the way her entire body vibrated, both from her orgasm and from the strength Parker was using to ram into her. “My slutty pussy needs to be filled with your cock and pumped full of your cum! Fuck, I-I can’t, I’m so sensitive, oh fuck—!”

“You filthy, two-cent whore, you’re cumming this much already, huh?” Parker could barely register the fact that he, himself, was close, his mind clouded by the remnants of the fear and anxiety that overtook his body from seeing Hunter nearly catching them in the act. “You really can’t help yourself, you fucking insane nymphomaniac, can you?”

“God, I’m cumming again—Parker!”

A high-pitched scream erupted out of the small woman, her body continuing to convulse, shaking not only from the force of her orgasm but the force of Parker’s increasingly wild and vigorous thrusts.

“Do you want my cum? That’s what you’ve been begging for this entire time, wasn’t it? That’s the thing that you risked your fucking marriage on?”

“Pl-Please! Please, fill my naughty, slutty hole with your thick semen!”

“You fucking slut, begging for another man’s cum when you’re already married. If you want it so bad, then here!”

The last word was shouted with all the frustration, guilt, anxiety, fear, and anger he harbored, fully hilting Jessica one more time before unloading his load deep inside her.

When both orgasms finally subsided, Parker found himself finally able to fully retract his dick from the warm, tight, fleshy prison it was trapped inside. Jessica remained on the bed, splayed out atop it, face pressed against the blanket with her legs dangling off the edge, a mixture of their combined cum leaking out of her slit and onto the soft material.

The negative emotion that drove Parker’s aggression left him along with his semen, leaving him ridden with an even more crushing, overwhelming sensation of guilt.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry Jessica, I didn’t mean to be so…”

She turned around, a perplexed look on her face. “What are you talking about? That was amazing! You should be like that more often!”

Parker really felt like he shouldn’t have been surprised, but at his utterly defeated state, he was. “What?” was the only reply he could muster.

“If I knew that was what it took for you to get like that, then—”

“Then what?” He could feel the frustration and anger come back, this time laced with the guilt of having fucked Hunter’s wife pretty much in front of him. “Then you’ll try to throw your marriage away again?” Jessica didn’t answer, turning herself upright and facing him. “You know what? You can tell Hunter everything. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I—I—…” He stopped, not wanting to say something in the heat of the moment he might regret later.

This time, it was Jessica’s turn to sigh. “I guess now’s as good of a time as any to tell you the truth, huh?”

Parker couldn’t even comprehend her statement for a solid few seconds, just blankly staring at her before dumbly saying, again, “What?”

“Whether you choose to believe me or not is up to you, but this is the truth; a few months ago, Hunter and I decided to move our relationship into an open one. We agreed to cap it off, or ‘celebrate’ it, by playing a game: each of us would choose one partner, without telling the other, and have sex with that partner as much as possible. The first one to catch the other loses, with the loser being banned from any sexual activity that isn’t with the explicit permission of the winner for an entire month.”

This took even longer to process, but even when Parker did, he wasn’t sure he fully understood it. After all, it broke so many of his preconceived notions of … well, everything. The consequences of getting caught, Jessica’s motivations, even the excitement Jessica felt for almost getting caught. Everything and nothing made sense all at once.

“What … I mean, was not telling the partner part of the game?”

“No, but, I mean, you were so much more attentive because of it, right?”

“…Really? That’s your reason?”

“Well, my original reason does still stand: I do sorta want to ruin your goody-two-shoes image. But, I mean, would your eyes and ears have been so attentive if you didn’t think my and Hunter’s marriage was at stake?”

Thinking about it, Parker couldn’t help but concede the point a little. But still … “But you didn’t consider that I wouldn’t feel guilty about it?”

Parker meant that as an attack, but seeing her sorrowful, regretful expression eliminated all the hostility inside him. “I thought … that I would get you to warm up to me first, and then tell you the truth. Because I felt that if I told you the truth from the beginning, you would never agree, and I really wanted my partner to be you. From hearing Hunter’s stories of you, I knew you would feel guilty, but I thought I could handle it. I never knew it would get to this degree. I’m sorry…”

Well shit, now he felt like the bad guy.

“It’s—” but was it fine? It wasn’t, was it? Wasn’t he completely in the right to be mad at Jessica? “—it’s fine.”

He couldn’t bring himself to do it though. Jessica so clearly looked regretful and guilty that Parker couldn’t bring himself to remain mad at her.

“Are … Are you sure?” Her voice was meek, meeker than he had ever heard it, and that triggered a protective instinct inside him.

“Yeah. I mean, you apologized, so that’s that.” When Jessica didn’t look satisfied with that answer, he continued, “Plus, I can always get you back by telling Hunter and getting you to lose.”

With that, Jessica giggled. “You wouldn’t dare.”

He shot back a grin. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I mean, that means the only sex I’ll be getting is, like, doggy style!”

“OK, I did not need to hear the sexual preferences of my best friend.”

“What, you don’t talk about sex with your best friends?”

Parker guffawed at the woman. “What? And you do?”

This time, it was Jessica’s turn to look at Parker with a confounded expression. “Yeah! Who else would you talk to it about?”

“I-I mean,” he stammered, ultimately not finding an answer, instead finishing with, “you just, uh, don’t talk about it?”

Hearing that answer, Jessica just rolled her eyes. “What else would I expect from Mr. Innocent.”

“Wait, so … now what?”

“Hm? Oh, about the game between Hunter and me?” Parker nodded. “Well, if you want to go ahead and tell Hunter, there’s not much I can do to stop you. Of course, I’d like to continue playing the game, but if you don’t want to, I can understand. No more blackmail from me.”

“And by continuing to play the game, you mean…”

“The main rule to the game was that both of us must have sex with our partner at least once a week. We’re both using the honor system, of course, but if you don’t want to, then I’ll just lose by default.”

“And you’re asking me if I still wanna have sex with you.”

“Yep.”

“For the sake of winning the game.”

“Ye—well, that and I also just like having sex with you.”

Parker would definitely admit that knowing Jessica and Hunter were in an open relationship definitely alleviated a lot of the guilt he was feeling. But, as a traditionalist, it still felt a bit weird to have sex with a woman he knew was married already. It was undeniable that Jessica was sexy and, if he didn’t have to wrestle with the guilt he was always fighting, then sex with her might actually become enjoyable … but he couldn’t simply just look past everything. She did apologize and Parker did accept it, but … “I’ll think about it.”

“Alright, that’s fair—oh, by the way, can I sleep over?”

“…What? Really?”

“Well, I told Hunter that I’d be sleeping at a friend’s house, so…”

“And if you went home, it’d be too suspicious.”

“Yeah.”

“Even though it’s probably obvious to Hunter that you used this time to fuck your partner.”

“Yeah.”

Parker sighed. “Fine, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“What? You can just sleep on the bed with me, you know~” Parker simply looked at her in disbelief, causing her to burst into a fit of giggles. “Just kidding!”

That night, Parker was more troubled than he ever was after any of their other sex sessions.

As I said, not the last chapter, so don’t worry :D

I know I don't normally put these author's notes at the end of the chapter, but I felt like this I had to make an exception for this one because ... it one was something, huh? Darker than the other ones in some (most) ways. The story is definitely gonna change from here, but it’ll just be of how. What do you guys think will change? Or will anything change at all?

Also, the no-author's-note-at-the-end-of-chapter thing is only going to last as long as I don't have any more from AFF to post onto here, for better or for worse :D

Next chapter here.

[lilithbasically]

“Of Course, Love”

Deku x Reader

Minors go tf away pls

Izuku sits at his desk, chin propped upon his fist, counting down the minutes until he can go home. His friends try their best to get him to join for a night of bar hopping almost every weekend but he’s already played that game. There’s nothing of interest out there for him. Bakugo even reaches out a couple times a week but, since the divorce, Izuku just doesn’t want anything to do with the possibility of dating or even hooking up.

Bzzt bzzt

Ignoring the alert from his phone buzzing in his pocket, he stands and gathers his belongings. “See ya next week, Iida!” He chirps as he steps inside the elevator.

Bzzt bzzt

Izuku groans at the idea of being pestered for the next three days about “getting out there” and “doing something instead of moping”. But he’s not moping. He just had the realization that when his actual true love comes into his life, it’ll be swift and unexpected. Not some set up thing or someone he picks up from a bar.

His phone buzzes a third time and finally, he retrieves it from his pocket and scrolls through the notifications.

Y/N retweeted your tweet

Y/N liked your tweet

Y/N replied to your tweet

The elevator doors open and Izuku stands firm, staring down at his phone in confusion, “What…the fuck…” He mutters.

“Uhh, Deku?”

His head snaps up to meet the eyes of his now ex-wife, Uraraka. Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he slides past her without a word.

————

You sit on your bed questioning whether that was the opening you should’ve taken when you see the notifications cross the top of your phone.

Deku liked your reply

Deku replied to your tweet

“Oh no fuckin way…” you whisper. Questioning if you should go ahead with your decision, your finger hesitates over ‘send’.

“Fuck it.” Pressing send, you toss your phone onto your bed.

Ding!

Deku is typing…

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!” You yell, scrambling to think of a reason for messaging him again just in case he asks.

Ding!

You risk a peek at his message, expecting the worst. “Haven’t talked to you in forever! How’s life treating you?”

Letting out the breath you’ve been holding, you respond, “I mean, not the worst, not the best. You?”

”Got divorced so that’s something, right?”

You smile because, ‘he’s still him’, you think.

“It is!! Also very relatable bc same lol”

Izuku responds instantly, “Oh no way!! Im not going to ask if you’re okay because I know you are. But if you want to hang out, I just got off work. You’re more than welcome to come over.”

You stare at his response much longer than necessary, debating your options. Questioning your motive and resolve, you type, “When do you want me?”

“Always,” he replies.

————

Izuku jumps out of bed to put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and scrambles to pick up his house for you.

Ten minutes later, headlights flood his front windows and you walk up to his door. He can tell you’re nervous by the way you shift from foot to foot. You keep tucking the same strand of hair behind your ear. Checking your phone for phantom notifications.

He thinks you’re cute, the way you’re so obviously trying to play off your nerves. Izuku opens the door, “Y/N! Come in and make yourself comfy. You want some tea? Im making myself some.”

With perfect timing, the tea kettle starts to whistle and he looks back down to you.

“Oh, yeah! Definitely. Thank you so much.”

“Do you mind if I make it for you?”

I know exactly how you like it, please let me

“Of course not. It’s your house, I’m not going to prevent you being a good host.”

“It’s not bitter. I remember you never liked coffee because it was too bitter, right?” He asks.

You try to suppress the blush rising to your cheeks and turn your face away when you fail. “Right, Izu. How do you remember that?”

“I’ve never forgotten a single thing about you, Y/N,” he smiles.

His smile isn’t superficial, it’s not presumptuous, it’s not filled with expectations, it’s just his smile. His beautiful, bright, sparkling smile.

“Same, Deku.”

————

A few drinks and rounds of cards later, you sit at Izuku’s dining room table and can’t stop holding his gaze.

“Ya know, I heard something.”

“Oh yeah, Deku? About what?”

He smirks, “About holding eye contact. If it’s longer than six seconds, you either want to kill or fuck the person.”

Holding his stare, you ask, “And? Are you trying to ask or say something?”

“Which is it?”

“Well, I don’t want to kill you.”

Izuku keeps the contact for a moment longer before looking at his glass and asks, “Do you want another? I’m having one more.”

“Yeah, I’ll have one more with you.”

————

“Ahhh fuck, Deku…” you moan as his finger glides over your clit.

Izuku’s cock twitches in anticipation, “You’re the only one that I’ve ever liked calling me that.”

“Pl-lease…oh god, Izuku…”

He rolls over you, the head of his cock teasing your entrance, “Tell me you want this, baby. Please,” he begs.

“Deku, please…”

Both of you gasping as his dick glides against your walls, he stops.

“Baby. This isn’t what I invited you here for,” Izuku rests his forehead on your shoulder, “If you don’t want this, please tell me.”

“Fuck me, Izuku. Please…”

————

2 years later

Izuku sits, gazing at the sunset in his lawn chair while his daughter splashes and plays in the pool.

“Hey, love?” You call from the house, “Do you want me to bring the speaker out?”

Brought out of his thoughts by your sweet voice, he shouts, “Yeah, baby! Could you bring some water for me and the baby?”

“Of course, love.”

————

[bullet-prooflove]

Follow That Beat Prompt List

49. She can't help but amaze me

Jimmy and Anitta Lanik

We love soft Jimmy for Anitta

Tagging: @kmc1989 @cosmic-psychickitty @infinity-mars @toasted-stiletto @yousigned-upforthis

Him!Series:

Part One: Him - Jimmy has a reason to hate your supervisor.

Part Two: Fault - Jimmy realises he's at fault.

Part Three: Wishes - Jimmy wishes he could fix it all for you. .

Part Four: Life Changes - You make a decision in the aftermath of the investigation.

Part Five: Spiralling - Jimmy helps you coax you out of a spiral.

Part Six: Sleeping Late - You sleep late for the first time in years.

Part Seven: Study - Jimmy lets you know how proud of you he is.

When Jimmy finds out about the law suit, he wants to break something. He’s just finished up a six hour surgery on a trauma patient when Sharon Goodwin takes him aside and shows him the video that was being streamed across the student platform throughout every single one of the universities attached to the study.

You’re up on stage delivering a seminar on Grief and Neurodivergence when a process server marches right up to you and thrusts it into your hands. He sees your confusion in the moment as he tells you you’re being sued before he trapes back up the aisle. To your credit you don’t falter, you simply fold up the piece of paper, set it down on the podium and continue your lecture as if the whole thing never happened. You amaze him sometimes, anyone else would have fallen to pieces if they had been humiliated in that way but you just shake it off.

“Where is she?” He asks, running a hand through his unruly dark hair in agitation and Sharon pushed the button to call the lift before responding.

“In the conference room upstairs with Peter.” She says as they both step inside. “I asked him to take some time out of his schedule as a personal favour to discuss her options.”

“A personal favour.” Jimmy repeats, his gaze fixed on the digital panel as the numbers increase to indicate what floor they’re on. “I don’t understand, I thought it was a hospital matter, something related to the study.”

“No.” Sharon says in that tone she uses for patients, the ones she’s about to break bad news to. “It’s Daniel Redford, he’s suing her for defamation of character.”

Jimmy doesn’t speak, he can’t. It’s like he’s been punched right in the face and he’s still standing there in the shock of it all. He wants to scream, he wants to shout, he wants to hunt down that arrogant son of a bitch and wrap his hands about his throat until his lips turn blue and he stops moving.

He knows that Danny is trying to punish you, that he’s seen how well you’ve been doing since leaving social services and he can’t have that, he can’t have you succeeding, not after you had him investigated for sexual harassment. That’s what the video was about. Jimmy has no doubt that it was orchestrated to disgrace you, to maximise your embarrassment. It isn’t enough that you had to re-live one of the most horrendous time periods of your life when you opened that letter, he has to ruin your reputation too.

“I’m going to kill him.” He finds himself saying, his hands clenching into fists as the elevator comes to a stop. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

Big Fan of Jimmy?! Get added to his tag list!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[onehundredflamingos]

@jegulus-microfic

21 / miracle / 764 words

Sirius’ apartment was in a high rise and it was always such a bitch to get to, up thirty floors in a shoddy elevator. Regulus avoided it as often as he could, but he tried to go over once a month or so, since every other time they got together was at Regulus’ apartment.

Either way, Sirius always put in so much effort, so Regulus figured the least he could do was show up once in a while.

“Can you hold the elevator!”

Regulus looked up, prepared to jut his arm out and keep the doors from closing, to be sure the man running directly for it would be able to make it in, until he saw that it was James Potter, of all people.

He didn’t want to be stuck going up thirty floors with that man.

“Sorry!” Regulus called out, watching as the doors began to slide shut, but of course they weren’t fast enough.

“God, Reg,” James said, panting. The doors slid shut directly behind him, so Regulus couldn’t even get out of the thing to escape. “You couldn’t have just held the door open for me?”

James sounded pissed.

“You could have caught the next one,” Regulus said sweetly.

“The thing takes like ten minutes each way,” James huffed, still trying to catch his breath.

“That’s not my problem, James,” Regulus argued. “You could have taken the stairs.”

“It’s like four hundred steps to his floor, Regulus.”

Regulus pursed his lips. “Is it? It’s honestly a miracle you can count that high.”

“What is your problem, Regulus?”

Regulus shrugged. “I don’t know, I just don’t like you.”

“You sure about that?” James asked, suddenly crowding Regulus’ space. “I feel like there must be another reason you never want to be around me.”

“Hmm, no,” Regulus assured him. “It’s just that. I have no use for you, James.”

James flashed a cocky grin, boxing Regulus in, one arm on either side of his head. Regulus looked at the numbers on the panel — twenty-one floors left to go.

He was sweating under James’ heavy gaze.

“No use, huh?” James asked, coolly — fucking with Regulus.

Regulus licked his lips.

“N-no use,” Regulus confirmed, a bit breathless this time. “Now move away.”

Seventeen floors left, and James wasn’t moving.

“I never noticed this little freckle here,” James said, moving his arm down, running the pad of his finger along Regulus’ jaw. Settling it halfway to his chin, on a faint pinprick of a freckle that even Regulus missed half the time.

Regulus swallowed thickly. “I’m not surprised, with those coke bottle glasses you wear,” he retorted, reaching up to tap the glasses in question with a fingernail, just to prove his point. The back of his fingertips brushed against James’ cheek bone with the gesture, sending a shiver down his entire body.

He felt like his hand was frozen in space and time.

“And your eyes… the grey is almost blue,” James continued, gaze flicking from one eye to the other and back.

Twelve floors left.

Regulus didn’t know if he should pull his hand down or flip it over, press the pads of his fingers to James’ cheek, when all at once, James was pulling away. He dropped his hands to his side, backing up and leaning into the far side of the elevator, smirk firmly on his face.

“Too bad you have no use for me, you’re really quite pretty, Regulus.” James purred, as if he knew it would prick every inch of Regulus’ skin with goosebumps.

“Too bad,” Regulus agreed, weakly.

They stared back at each other for several beats too long — eight floors left to go.

Regulus’ fingers were twitching, itching to reach back up and rest his palm to James cheek, run his fingers along the seam of his lips. James’ eyes followed the motion, snapped his gaze up to Regulus’ parted lips, to his hungry eyes.

“I might,” Regulus began. His heart was beating so fast. He faltered, not knowing if he should stand up straight and steel his resolve — look away and pretend the temperature of the elevator wasn’t suddenly through the roof, but James made the decision for him.

“Have a use for me after all?” He asked with a shit eating grin on his face, the bastard.

“You know wha—,” Regulus began, but his words were cut off, lost in James' mouth, tangled between their tongues. James rested his hands along Regulus’ hips, and for the final eight floors, Regulus was so grateful for the glacial pace of the rickety elevator.

[quietlyimplode]

the language of flowers and silent things

Whumptober 2023: Day 12 - Red

Warnings: red room talk but nothing graphic

Word Count: 1.3k (gif not mine)

Summary: Yelena receives some help from unlikely sources. Natasha still has her back, despite what she may think.

A/N: (I forget how spoilt I was with no ads, if the anon who gifted them last month, thank you again.)

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

.

2014

SINGAPORE

“Yelena, where are you?” Saffine shouts into the ear piece.

“Did you do it? Is she dead?”

“Yelena?” Irina asks, “where are you? Your tracker isn’t working. How did you do that?”

Panic suffocates Yelena.

They have safeguards against self harm. Poisons in their bodies that don’t allow them to harm themselves.

Saffine would know something has gone wrong.

Maybe they’d know it’s not her fault.

Choices.

A life with the Red Room, staying until she dies or becomes like Isla, training a new generation of widows and hating herself for it.

Natasha was right.

It’s not a choice.

Despite the connections she’s made in the Red Room and the responsibility she feels for others, she knows, running, escaping, it’s what’s best for her.

A choice like she’s never been given, the irony that it comes from Natasha is not lost on her.

She hates Natasha for it, and loves her all the same.

Looking at the bus schedule, Yelena chooses the one heading to Malaysia, she hears the panic on the line of the other two widows and she knows the punishment that awaits them when they get picked up and returned.

She drops the ear pieces into a teenagers bag, and then; she’s alone.

She knows she can’t think of that now.

People watching as she boards the bus, she calms herself, counting the people around her, and focusing on the time.

Five hours til she arrives and then can work out what to do from there.

Five hours to think about the decision she’s just made.

.

“Did you really expect her to be here?” Clint asks as they board the plane.

“Yes?”

Natasha’s answer is hopeful as she looks around again. The amount of people around them making it difficult to see faces and disguises.

Clint doesn’t follow her eyesight, instead looks at the bruising on her face, covered by make up but still visible. He’s not sure he wants to face Yelena right now. He feels so angry at the pain he knows Natasha is in.

“She’s not coming is she?”

Clint shakes his head, pulling their passports out and presenting them to flight attendant. He knows he needs to let it go.

“Would you have come with me?”

Natasha almost laughs.

“We both know I didn’t,” she replies.

“She needs time, Natasha.”

She frowns, feeling like she’s been told off.

“Why the full name?”

He shrugs, moving forward in line.

“For emphasis? I’m just saying; that she has no reason to trust you, even with everything that you’ve set up. You want an easy reunion but even you have to admit that when you were out of the clutches, it still took you time to trust me, and it was only because I could give you something you needed.”

He points to their seats and she passes him a bag.

“Give her time, yeah? She may not be ready, or she may have a different agenda to what you think she should.”

She sits and stares into the airport, searching again.

“Yeah,” she says softly.

.

2014

MALAYSIA

Yelena steps off the bus, and picks up a suitcase from underneath that isn’t hers, but likely is a womans. If anyone stops her she can play stupid.

They don’t though, and she makes her way to the tallest and biggest hotel in the city.

Kuala Lumpur is busier than she remembers when she was here last, but she was only twelve. Maybe under that light, it all felt different.

She checks in with a fake passport, a fake name, and stolen money, and requests a room furthest from the elevator.

“I’m such a light sleeper,” she grins to the lady, who nods and smiles back.

Easy, this is, manipulating people, Yelena thinks as the elevator takes her up.

She opens the suitcase in her room and luckily finds a range of tshirts and shorts to manage in.

Toiletries, medications, shoes that are probably too big, things she’ll need to reset.

Yelena sighs heavily.

She’s free.

She’s not sure why it feels so bad though.

She should be happy, light, pleased with her decision but instead all she feels is dread.

.

Red hair dye may have not been her best decision. She’s not sure how Natasha blended in so well with being so visible.

It’s strange, not having a mission, not being housed in a facility. The feeling of freedom after being under the rule of someone else feels terrifying.

Yelena doesn’t know what to do with herself.

Knowing they’ll be searching for her, knowing they’re coming, she just can’t seem to move forward, stuck in an awkward limbo of repeating the same day over and over.

She ends up at a small café, orders the same fruit drink and watches those around her.

She brings a book she took from the hotel and pretends to read it, instead taking the time to watch and learn how to be human.

She watches adults walk together, women with headphones walking by, men talking animatedly on the phone.

It’s the children she likes to watch the most.

The little girls who smile easily at their mothers, and the little boys that eat ice cream looking up at their fathers.

Yelena sorts through her feelings, knowing it’s jealousy that boils.

It doesn’t feel fair.

She pushes it down, turning it to anger.

That could have been her, it was her in Ohio.

“Good book?”

The approach of another startles her and even more so when she sees Isla.

Fear pulses through her.

If Isla was here, then so was the Red Room.

“Freedom is a tricky thing, isn’t it?”

She takes Yelena’s hand.

“She told me the tracker was disabled,”

There’s a even cadence of Yelena’s voice, even though she feels like throwing up in fear.

“Oh it is, but honey, you’re going to have to do better to run and hide if you want this to be a permanent thing.”

Yelena stares at Isla.

The Red Room poster girl; a terrifying individual, having cycled through at least twice, probably three times.

“I’m not the bad guy,” Isla smiles, wickedly, sipping her own drink and passing across a package.

“She’s given you an out, and I’m giving you a way to do it.”

“Natasha, she knew, she paid me to help, which is the only reason I’m doing this.”

Yelena opens the package.

Two passports peek out, and Australian one and an American one and a stack of US dollars.

Her heart catches.

“You’ll let me go?”

Isla shrugs.

“Is that what you want?”

Yelena feels her filter drop.

“How am I supposed to know? They said jump and I’d say how high. I don’t want to be theirs. I… this is not real. They made me like this, this shell, and now… now I don’t know; I want them to tell me what I should do, there’s too much grey— too much variability. When you take away the Red Room and what’s left? What’s left of… me?”

Yelena bites down hard on the inside of her cheeks, feeling the intensity of grief bubbling inside and the threat of tears come as she stares down at her drink.

“Sometimes we can’t leave, there’s too much damage. But you should, you might like who you find,” Isla tells her, in a moment of honesty.

“I tried once,” she whispers, more to herself.

She laughs out loud, a manic sound, breaking the introspection.

“If I catch you again, I’m taking you in, and they can do to you what they did to me.”

Yelena feels the insanity in the words.

“What am I supposed to do, now?”

Isla stands, hovers next to her and points out to the people around.

“Become one of them? Be like your sister? Or go the other way? Maybe you’ll like what you become when you don’t have someone pulling your puppet strings.”

She kisses Yelena’s forehead.

“She’s given you an out; I suggest you take it.”

As quickly as she comes, she goes, leaving Yelena with more questions than answers.

.

[gayf1hoe]

Part 6

After last week's race in Baku I am in a better mood and I'm not as angry at the team's mess up. We discussed what went wrong and what they are going to do to prevent it from occurring again and with optimism I believe what they said.

After Max had come to comfort me I went out and watched him on the podium and the whole time he was making eye contact with me and smiling and even though he was there for me when I was at a low, I'm still not sure on what I want to do in regards to our relationship. We spoke briefly after the podium about what we had been up to but we didn't really speak about our relationship or friendship but I could tell he was holding something back, Max is like an open book he's so easy to read. We have started to spend more time together over the past week and things are starting to go back to "normal" whatever that may be. With the Miami Grand Prix being a week after Baku I have been extremely busy yet have still somehow managed to find time to talk with Max.

We arrived in Miami a few days ago and we have been mainly relaxing. For the past few days Zhou has somehow managed to convince me to go on a run in the morning, which normally I would never do because the idea of waking up early to do physical exercise is not my image of happiness but he is very convincing.

I am standing by the palm tree outside the hotel where me and Zhou had designated as the meeting point when I receive a text message and he informs me that he can't be bothered to go for a run today. I let out a heavy sigh at the fact I got up early and got ready and he cancelled on me.

I turn around and head back to the hotel when Max comes out and sees me.

"Hey is everything alright?" He asks.

"Yep all good, minus the fact I got up early to go for a run with Zhou and he's cancelled on me"

"Well if you want you can come on a run with me, I have no one to go with so I don't mind"

I ponder monetarily and agree to go on a run with him as I don't see the point in going to all this effort for no reason.

Half way into our run we are slightly talking about the upcoming weekend and how things are going to go.

The only thing I pray for is a quick and efficient pit stop that doesn't cause me to lose positions or the chance of a podium finish.

After a long and exhaustive run we arrive back at the hotel sweaty and out of breath and we somehow find the strength to climb up the entrance steps and walk over to the elevator.

As I push the button and the elevator dings there is a moment of awkward silence and then when we enter the elevator there is an even bigger moment of awkward silence, this is what I hate about mine and Max's friendship. We can be talking and laughing and then it's just silence and no communication. The elevator dings at the third floor and we both exit heading in opposite directions. Today is media day which is never a whole lot of fun but something I merely tolerate for the sake of the team and its PR image.

I get changed out of my running clothes and have a quick shower and get changed into my usual outfit of jeans and a T-shirt.

For some unknown reason Alessandro has called a spontaneous meaning so it can only be something bad because it's out of character for him.

The paddock is inundated with journalists and TV crews making it difficult to get from one end to the other without being questioned or having a camera pushed into your face. I make it to the team trailer and I am one the first to arrive, meaning I have to wait for a while for everyone else to arrive, but once they do and Alessandro enters the room I can tell by his demeanour something is seriously wrong.

"Sorry for calling such an impromptu meeting but I feel it is imperative that I tell you all sooner rather than later. As I'm sure you're aware Audi were going to buy Sauber and take over in 2 seasons. However as of this morning the decision was made that Audi will take over Sauber in F1 from next season instead."

The room is silent and no one says anything so I take the responsibility to break it.

"So does that mean we are all out of jobs?"

He thinks for a moment "Most of the engineers and strategists will have a job at Audi"

"But what about us drivers?" I follow on.

"I'm sure Audi will reveal their plans for their driver line up in the forthcoming weeks but at the moment nothing is guaranteed, I also think I should let you all know the team and Audi are making a social media statement right now informing everyone of the change so expect media day to be full of loads of questions about it"

We all leave the room and in the garage the normal jovial scene is solemn and quiet. The morale of the team has taken a major hit, the uncertainty as to whether or not most of us will have a job at Audi lingers over all of us. We can't help but feel a little betrayed that Sauber so willingly would accept Audis's offer without much contest but it's just a fact we will have to learn to accept.

I have to attend a press conference in 20 minutes and at the moment Alessandro is briefing me on what to say and what not to say and he goes over time. I quickly run to the other end of the paddock and walk through the doors of the conference room.

When I enter they all look at me and Max points at his watch repeatedly tapping it. I take a seat in between George and Lance and wait for my turn to be questioned.

Reporter: So Y/N the first question is obviously the obvious one. What is going on at Sauber?

Y/N: So yes it's obviously been announced that Audi is joining next season instead of the planned time.

Reporter: So is your job on the line?

Y/N: My job was always on the line regardless because I'm only on a one year contract.

Reporter: So do you think you have a job at Audi?

Y/N: I truly hope so but if not I have other things lined up.

Reporter: Can you give us any insight?

Y/N: Unfortunately not.

The meeting drags on and every time I think it's about to come to an end more questions come flooding my way.

At the conclusion of the meeting we all stand up and file out of the room heading in separate directions, I think I'm walking alone when I turn to my left side and see Max walking alongside me.

"Is everything alright?" I ask.

"It's me who should be asking you that question. How are you feeling after the whole Audi announcement?"

"I feel fine, if they don't offer me a contract and no other team does well I guess that's just life"

"So what are these mysterious plans that you were hinting at?" he asks.

"Well I have an offer to race in Formula E for Mahindra Racing"

After I finish my sentence he stops in his tracks and makes me turn to face him.

"Are you seriously going to give up on F1 and your dream that easily?"

"Well it's a bit difficult if no team wants me"

I walk away leaving him outside one of the many stands of products and I head back to my garage for a media shoot and when I walk in the mood is a little less suppressed and more joyful, well as joyful as you can be after discovering you might lose your job.

The media shoot involves me and Zhou doing some photography challenge and it doesn't take too long before we get a chance to have lunch. The hospitality building is quite empty, Zhou has a meeting so I'm left by myself to go and get lunch. After I pick out a few items to eat I dart my eyes around the room trying to find somewhere to sit like a new kid at school and I see Logan sitting in one corner alone so I decide to go over to him.

"Hey, can I sit here?" I ask.

"Of course," he replies.

I place my plate down on the table as well as my glass and take a seat. The table is right next to the window where the sun is piercing through so as I let my arm rest on the table I can feel my arm burning.

"So how are things going at Williams?" I enquire.

"It's going pretty well this year in comparison to last year, but how are things going for you?"

"Erm... it's going alright I guess the whole audi thing has thrown everyone off"

We chat for a while whilst eating, discussing an array of topics including his hopes for one of his first home races of the season.

After I finish eating I head back to the garage as I received a text from Alessadbro saying he had more important news. The amount of important news I have had to digest in the space of one day is overwhelming and incomprehensible.

I quickly run up the stairs to his office skipping most of them and upon reaching the door I knock firmly and assertively although what's really going on in my mind is the complete opposite.

I wait for a moment for him to reply before entering and when he does I open the door to find him sitting behind his desk gesturing towards the chair.

It takes a moment before he speaks:

"So Y/N following your question this morning about whether or not you will have a drive at Audi they have actually confirmed their driver line up quite quickly, I didn't even know these negotiations were taking place and they sent me the email of their driver line up and the contracts -"

"Alessandro" I interject "cut the shit and just tell me if I have a contract with Audi"

He sighs.

"Unfortunately not, they have decided you are too inexperienced for the team"

"So who are they taking?" I ask.

"Nico and Valtteri"

I don't think it's all really set in yet, I don't say anything in response instead I stand up and walk down the hallway and see Zhou sitting on one of the chairs with his head tilted back against the wall.

"I take it you have heard the news then" I say taking a seat on the empty chair, whilst Zhou responds with a simple "yep".

I follow his lead and tilt my head back against the wall and sigh thinking about the predicament that we are in but I know we can't let it affect our performance otherwise our hope of a seat next year is gone.

Morale has been at an all time low at the team so during qualifying today me and Zhou intend to make a statement to Audi that they are missing out on two amazing and competent drivers and show them experience isn't everything it is made out to be.

Me and Zhou both make it to Q3 and now is the time for us to really prove ourselves but we face the challenge of both Ferraris, Red Bulls and McLarens, Yuki and Nico also make it to Q3 but I don't see them posing a threat not because of their talent but because of their cars.

We must go out at least 4 or 5 times to set quicker laps and I await the verdict as I cross the line.

"Y/N, Hamilton is on pole, You are P2, Verstappen P3, Zhou P4 and Sainz P5."

I feel slightly elated at the result and pissed that I was only 0.032 seconds off pole position but I will improve and keep my head down for the next race.

The Miami Grand Prix still in its infancy stage in comparison to most F1 tracks yet still as vibrant and popular as them. Americans have a natural love for motorsport whether it's NASCAR, Rallying or F1 and they always turn up in their thousands to show support for drivers and to indulge in the entertainment racing provides.

I'm in the midst of getting changed into my race suit when there's a light and barely audible knock on my door. I head over to the door whilst zipping up my race suit and I am shocked to see Ollie smiling from ear to ear in front of me. I quickly invite him in and hug him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Well I thought I would come and show my support for you and enjoy a race"

I'm still in a state of shock at the fact Ollie is here, I can see why people draw the conclusion that we are dating because we struggle to be apart from each other.

"So how are you feeling about Audi coming next year?" He asks as I fasten my shoes.

"I mean I'm little upset at not getting signed but it's life I will find something else to do"

"Wait you're not getting signed, I thought we would finally be in F1 together"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I'm joining Haas next year, but who's joining Audi?"

"Nico and Valtteri" I declare standing up and grabbing my balaclava and helmet.

I don't want to dwell on the future much and I put a stop to the conversation and head to the door. I would love for Ollie to stay in my garage during the race but he has to stay loyal to Ferrari.

"Y/N 30 seconds to lights out focus and have a good race"

5 red light flash before me and the adrenaline that follows through my veins puts me on edge I quickly avert my gaze to Lewis who is in P1 although I don't plan on attacking him in the opening laps as I want to conserve my tyres so I want to focus on keeping Max at bay behind me which is a lot easier said than done.

As soon as the lights extinguish I let up off the clutch and try to accelerate as fast as I can but Max comes alongside me and pushes me wide causing him to gain the place.

Lap by Lap I'm finding different people behind me and every time I somehow manage to maintain P3. The team makes me pit twice and to my relief they don't mess it up and come out onto the track having not lost many positions.

Despite not gaining any positions crossing the line in P3 is a good enough outcome for me, but if F2 me heard I was settling for third he would be having a meltdown.

Being on the podium with Max feels even more special than being on the podium. It's great to celebrate together even though it was Lewis who won it still feels really special.

We have sweat and champagne trickling down our faces when we reconvene behind the podium.

"Good job out there today" he says.

"Yeah you to, you really gave me a run for my money" I replied.

We take a slow walk back to the pit lane making general conversation.

"So I was wondering did you want to go for dinner with me tonight"

I think for a moment.

"Sure Maxie"

He laughs at my response and I question why.

"It's just a funny nickname that's all" he replies.

"Would you rather me call you Mad Max or something like that"

"No, Maxie will suffice".

As I'm drying off from my shower my phone vibrates and I walk across to the other side of the room to see it's just a notification from the F1 social media so I open it to see what rubbish they have posted this time.

I open it to see a tweet that makes reality set in:

Formula 1: BREAKING Audi Annoucne their dirver line up will consist of Nico Hulkenberg and Valtteri Bottas.

After I finish reading it I place my phone down on the counter and get dressed before heading outside to the place where me and Max had agreed to wait.

The second he arrives I don't know whether it's out of anger and spite or out of passion I grab his face and begin to kiss him and as I do so he kisses me back. We don't care to look and see if there are any photographers around because I couldn't care less.

"Are you sure you want to do this? What will Sauber think?" he asks between a brief pause.

"Fuck them" I retort.

"You're slowly becoming my little rebel"

After we finish making out we head to the restaurant Max originally wanted to take me to. We are a little late for the reservation Max booked but we are still shown to our seats.

We quickly order and after the race I am starving so I probably order a little too much but my trainer isn't here to see it so it doesn't really matter.

"So how are you feeling after you found out you aren't going to be with Audi next year"

"You know I have been asked that question so many times I might as well just record my response and hit play after I'm asked it, but I really am alright if I find another seat it will be great and if I don't that's just life"

"You know I can always speak to Christian and see what he's doing with Checo's seat"

"it's fine really if Christian thinks I'm talented he will reach out to me plus I don't think he would want me around distracting you".

We speak for ages and quickly day turns into night so we head back to the hotel and as we enter the doors we are met by a barrage of questions and we are both extremely confused, until Daniel provides some context.

"A journalist stuck their camera over the fence and caught a video of you two full on making out hands going all over each other if I wasn't straight I would have found it quite arousing"

Whilst everyone laughs at the last part I inform him I could have gone without that information.

Normally I would have been a little nervous at the shitstorm I had just created but for some reason that feeling is extinct and I feel a little proud and relieved that me and Max don't have to tread carefully around our teams and the media.

Even though we aren't an established couple, in fact I don't even know what we are but it's nice to know that we try and find clarity in what we are without worrying about the media.

As me and Max lay in bed our phones are going crazy probably from both of our teams and for Max most certainly his dad going berserk.

"You know we have just created a huge drama," he says.

"I know, I can't wait for Drive to Survive"