#he shouldve just said this instead of saying Its not my fault you dont like girls

[rollingrockstar]

[itsalwaysdark]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

real! I used to love her (ts) but she feels very different than she used to. I’ve listened to phoebe bridgers a bit, she was good just not the type of music I usually listen to. Boy genius and Lucy Dacus are both amazing tho. They for sure deserved to win Aoty, or sia

sorry for how long this got??? i just started writing and oh whoops....

anyway- THATS what ive been saying about her unfortunately. its like after folklore/evermore things genuinely changed because of all the fame and popularity. people werent criticizing her anymore and instead overly praising her.

which isnt bad! i do think she deserves praise over folklore. the marketing of it being a suprise album was very clever too. but i think before those folklore there was a sense of criticism that people had with her music that kept her wanting to innovate it.

i have a strong believe that social media's algorithms are failing artists to innovate pop music in the same way than 00's pop music did just because of how much less artists have to lose now with their brandings. i once again bring up artpop by lady gaga and how much she lost for her idea???? and now??? gaga was really fucking killing it. her music had such creativity and passion put into it that you can SEE her drive in that. (also to know i didnt understand artpop as an album until MUCH later in my life)

but taylors lack of needing to innovate her sound due to her popularity and lack of criticism really has just shown how much her music has come to decline in quality. if you see the transition between fearless and speak now. those two albums. she TOOK the criticism that she "couldnt write her own songs" and literally flipped that narrative to write that entire album herself. and to me? arguably speak now is MY favorite taylor album.

and the transition between speak now to red to 1989 to reputation. theres SO much that happened in that sense of time. theres different sounds that make those albums what they are. 1989 was such a creative endeavor for her because it was her first step into pop music. i think was also her first time working with jack? now people say her decline on music is his fault as a producer but i dont believe his role had gotten bad until midnights. (i saw people discussing clairo's sling album because he produced it. but THEYRE WRONG. SLING IS GOOD AND HIS ERA OF BAD PRODUCING HAPPENED IN 2023(?) i forget when midnights came out ugh thats how many taylor albums we have gotten ffs)

but the breakaway and challenge 1989 gave really set up for reputation. she disappeared because of all the hate. and i think while I DONT SUPPORT that type of treatment because no one should go through that type of mental low... that really set her into a space to create more fluidly and with more passion?

lover- people will say was a flop.. and ill admit too... cruel summer?? shouldve never ever became a single. it was better as a hidden gem. but lover was good for the majority of songs!! there's still passion in it.

it was just that after folklore/evermore it felt very.... underwhelming and not like her at all. the quality slipped so so off the page. it just feels very recycled and unnecessary. especially like i said the fandom doesnt help with overconsumtion and she really truly should use her platform for more. the economy being in shambles and yet she wants to charge $700 for a concert ticket. (nothing bad if like someone WANTS to go but its genuinely ridiculous because inflation shouldnt BE like that).

not to even cover merch??? why is it so high?? shouldnt you want it to be accessible to your fans since you have so many?? vinyl prices are ridiculous but WHY is a hoodie almost $100. im sorry but like why 😭. cant we just charge $60 again?????

anyway all that to say that after the evermore era her music genuinely slipped off. im just thankful that the speak now rerecord didnt get BOTCHED as high hell. i have opinions about the vault tracks because the entire reason was to include tracks from that era and yet its like your smearing shit onto a perfectly wonderful painting and saying "look yall!! i added to this!!" wrong. wrong wrong wrong. idk. 1989's vault tracks just made me mad. it felt so unlike the vibe of what 1989 was???? and slut was NOT written at the time of 1989. come on.

timeless though off of the rerecord for speak now.... i will defend that one with my honor. i genuinely am glad speak now's vault tracks didnt get horrible treatment. i like that she kept the solo writing with the entire album. adding on fob and hayley's collabs as a callback because i really remember seeing videos of her singing sugar were going down and thats what you get during the speak now tour. it just felt like a full circle moment for that. fob's collab couldve been better but im glad it wasnt like... bad.

stilllll think matty's collab couldve been iconic on slut. even if i hate 1989's vault tracks as a whole... the 1975 does have good music. I KNOW. controversial yeah. anyway. hes got talent tho.

i found phoebe during 2020 when i was listening to a bunchhh of different artists (the 1975 too yeah). but punisher found me and i used to not be able to sleep due to anxiety/insomnia back then and i would listen to that album for months to just SLEEP.

i have a closeee bond with it. its like my favorite if not a close second of my favorite album of all time. its just really interesting?? also really valid that its not your type of music either. i just hold her stuff close. also did a english assignment on smoke signals' lyrics. i remember that. i got to say "fuck the cops" in the assignment and felt very proud of myself LMAO.

in terms of lucy- i for some reason never have gotten around to listening to her stuff?? even though i know i need to and should?? i just always somehow forget. many people have told me to but oh man i forget.

glad we can agree that they deserved album of the year btw.

sorry for the LENGTHY reply but yeah!! i might be forgetting to talk about something but askinf about my special interests (music) will always give you a lengthy answer.

[away-ward]

Did you notice the conversation that the horsemen had in that Lolita class in high school perfectky describe their characterisation.

Michael thought the teacher, Lumbert loved Lolita, when in fact, Lumbert groomed Lolita. Now what have Michael been doing to Rika since she was born? Grooming her as a show of his "love"! Especially after that snippet in Corrupt's epilogue. (Michael grew up always being denied what he wants, and he felt restricted with his options, so he always made sure to go against everything he thought was "rules" to him.)

Kai thought its was abuse and it wasnt on the fault on the girl to be responsible of the situation. And how did he responded to Banks' love with Damon? Yep, he called them out because their co-dependency was borderline abusive and weird as fuck. (Kai grew up to a good home but his father was strict with him, from his choice of friends, manners, education, etc. and Katsu didnt like Gabriel and Damon. AT ALL lmao.)

Damon said "abuse felt like love" because of his relationship with Natalya and Gabriel. Gabriel grape Natalya and Natalya grape Damon. It's a cycle. So Damon's response was like how he felt being Lolita instead of looking at the situation in a birds eye view. The difference between Lolita and Damon though, Damon kept on excusing his problematic behaviour and inflict those similar pain towards innocents, especially the ones he loved most like Banks, Will and Winter.

Will said something like "why did Lolita still went back to hop on Lumbert's dick and not speak up then" and this solidifies Will's characterisation of making things about himself (because he always felt like nobody would choose him) instead of putting himself in Lolita's shoes. And look at the way he responded to Emmy's abuse, it was always "why did she never told me about anything", "you couldve told me and my parents wouldve yada yada yada", instead of just being there for her after he found out something weird about her situation. He was insensitive about the whole situation, not because he was naive or thought the world was good, but because his character was selfish and unkind first before he was anything else. At that age of 17, only a person who's so unkind and selfish would ever say something like that. Mind you, i never went through what lolita, emmy and damon went through, but i cannot ever imagine go so far as being insesitive like that to people, even at the age of 14. It was too much. Will's response, even at worst, shouldve been like Kai. There was no excuse for him here.

I think the Lolita class conversation was very interesting, but it was never really brought up much. It perfectly shows us how, even if the horsemen would help emmy then if she asked, they most likely wont halp her the way she needed to be help, patiently, kindly, and sincerely. They just werent ready for this conversation yet, if not, Damon wouldnt have kept his problem to himself and thought nobody woukd help him with everything, no? Thats why this story was never as easy as just "opening uo to people". The people that they open up to, should be on the same wavelength as them, because then, they would be like Corrupt Michael who just shouted at Rika when they found out about Miles Anderson. Even if Damon who had spent his youth wth the horsemen cant ever fully open up to his friends about his home situation, why would Emmy, a stranger to them was able to open up to the horsemen too.

And as much as Emmy knew about Banks, and even though we never git much Emory Banks in the past or presence, i was glad that this story didnt took the ridiculous route of an 18 year old girl suddenly manage to defy patriarchy and high profile men and criminals to save a girl her age in a well restricted mansion. Like think about the security, their financial situation, Banks education... the logistics of having another live in your life after saving them... crazy. I like that PD didnt do some Wonder Woman shit with their storyline, because i dont think its possible.

What do you think about these?

I did notice that! But I haven’t been able to put it into words like this. Thank you!!!

I wouldn’t say Will was selfish and unkind in his response though. Not to disregard your opinion, but the way I see it, he wasn’t intending to be insensitive. He was just privileged enough to be ignorant of what abuse can look like and how it can make a person feel. He needed to have his eyes opened to reality. But Will’s always had autonomy, so it makes sense to me that he wouldn’t necessarily understand how someone who appears to have free will would choose to stay in a bad situation. The key word being “appears.”

If he understood the reality of how abuse can make a person feel, how autonomy can be stripped away from a person even though it doesn’t appear that way, and he still called them weak and blamed them for their situation, that would be a different situation for me. I’d be more inclined to agree with you. And this isn’t to say that I think Will handled everything in the correct or right way, but people grow and mature at different rates and a big part of Will’s story is how he resisted growing up and accepting reality for so long. Understanding and sympathizing with an abuse victim takes maturity, which he really didn't have at the time.

Whether his ignorance was intentionally turning a blind eye to the obvious, or a byproduct of his privilege is up to the individual, I guess. I choose to think it was a byproduct.

I haven’t thought about why they were discussing Lolita, other than it was a quick way to bring up abuse and for Damon to get in that quotable line. But what I took from it was that none of these kids, save for Damon, were really thinking something like that could be happening to in their midst.

I still think Damon would have kept everything to himself. I don’t know if it’s pride, or shame, or him just being messed up, but I have no doubt that even if he were sure that his friends could and would help him and not judge him, he would have kept that to himself as long as he could.

The horsemen get mad when they see what they perceive to be injustice. They don’t think about why they think that way, just that they feel angry because they saw or heard something they didn’t like. And that’s part of the problem throughout the series: they reaction to things, and not always with thoughtfulness. And we can disagree with how they react – their actions – but not always why they’re upset.

Of course, they’re mad about Anderson. They think he’s scum to begin with, and now they know he’s attacking women. They don’t like men attacking women, so now they’re mad. It’s as simple as that for them. As a reader, removed from the narrative, we know it’s stupid that they yelled at Rika. But their reason for being mad is valid.

And it goes on like that. They learn of a situation, they react, and then they think. So, I don’t think Damon was worried about their reaction – even if they didn’t understand, they would have been of his side. I truly think this was a pride thing. Or Damon being Damon. He likes his secrets.

With Emmy, obviously it makes sense to us that she wouldn’t open up to them. She has no reason to rely on them for anything. She’s been so alone for years, and they certainly aren’t her friends. But from their perspective, obviously they wouldn’t have let the abuse continue if they’d known about it. Does she think they’re heathens????

easy answer: “yes, you idiots, because you haven’t shown anything different,” but they don’t know that.

Oh yeah, when Damon told Emory about Banks my first reaction was “why? What is she gonna do? You already know that Emory is barely handling her own situation, why are you trying to add to it?” And didn’t Banks have people in the house and a mom she can turn to in truly desperate situations? Like, I know she never went to high school, but she’s been doing his homework and we know she isn’t dumb. But Damon is Damon and like the rest of them, his reactions aren’t usually the most logical.  

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I really enjoyed reading them.

[sunflowerinpearls]

Husbands' words are not matching actions and vice versa. Hes been "venting" to "me" in front of our oldest (turning 16 may 10) on our "current" marriage?....problem(s).

I tried my best to keep my mouth shut and one time he asked me to play a song so I for one am so plugged up i cant really hear much, sometimes even music is too loud (sensory processing disorder) and I guess i didnt even hear him say something and the child caught on to what was happening and said "you're ignoring dad again"

So i spoke to her instead of him since she said it, & I said "I didnt ignore him. I didnt hear him. I was hyper focused on the song he requested me to play."

And then he went on just one of many other rants in front of her, asking "you dont think I ever hyper focus on anything? When Im home on my days off, I feel like im your servant" All day anytime I asked for help, to him I was demanding it and not appreciating stuff he did and then he would not stop talking about every single thing he did today around the house and for our children and its like.... ok cool.

And people get paid to do what i do here at home, every single day all day long. Didn't say it would be easy, however I did ask for help. He tried to say he understands im frustrated bcuz im home all day and i guess i interrupted and was rude bcuz i said "Its not THAT, at all" (cuz its...not?) Lastly i stumbled upon his fave song & started playing it & asked him to plz get me my night meds bcuz I am so fucking cold to the touch, esp to others. And moving makes it hurt.:// He said "You can just not play the song now. Thanks." So uhh.. Like all I am learning here is 1) I need to stop asking him to help me w/ literally anything and like he has said in the past which I clearly shouldve listened to: "If you (*me doing this: "cough" "cough") WANT something RIGHT NOW!, I'll have to get up and get it myself or wait until I he is ready to do it." And 2) I've been right all along. I cant count on even my own Husband so like uhh.... okay. And Now to him, I'm just a burden. Let alone ya know, i guess having influenza and not doing shit around the house "today" (literally just today, and actually, i still did some stuff which is better than none lol) and hes acting like he deserves a fucking gold medal. For what? Being a husband a father and taking responsibility of everything whilst your wife is ill? K. Never asking you for shit now. Ill send lists to him at work if the house needs anything. He hasnt had sex from me in a month because for the past 2 months steady, I have been sick with an upper respiratory virus affecting my asthma and everything else and now this so uhh, my bad. Next time I'll just faint (again) & hit my head probably (again) and then maybe, theyll see that hes just gonna send me by myself and come pick me up when Im done being in there because he has to sleep for work tomorrow. Not to ya know, dare mention that if the bulging disc in my spine "RUPTURES", all signs & symptoms of paralysis will hit fast & clearly that would become a huge Emergency Situation... So I was "told to do it anyway" by him even after explaining the deck was covered in thick broken shattered ice chunks and with my slip on shoes that are the only shoes i can wear, I told him "I'm not doing that" and now it's my fault it was left outside until when he came home (3 1/2 hours before home). I feel as if my health is a major burden to him and maybe its time for me to get an inhome nurse... Some people just arent built to take care of anyone else. And maybe idk, maybe he is starting to see that I a really honestly, not in love with him at this point anymore. Maybe tomorrow or next month or next whatever, or maybe never will I be back in love with him.It seemed to me like the exact day that he was hired on as a manager at his workplace, things shifted. He dropped a huge bomb on me. I had to then last night, inform my family that I'm doing gene testing to see if i am a carrier of a breast cancer gene for reasons. They're also testing for thyroid & ovarian seeing as those run heavily. My chances before gene testing was uncomfortable to talk to our 3 kids about but they were as accepting as they can be, as their Mother my main priority should be my health so that Incan get better so that I can continue to do what I freaking LOVE DOING SO MUCH!!!!!! Like I truly do so why continually, continually say outloud in front of the 3 kids that "well I've done all of this and all of this because you asked for help" and it all started over me asking him if he can take lily her cup of water since shes coughing so badly. My flu/asthma/sinus shit is awful and my heart problem make it hard for me to walk sometimes let alone climb stairs.... He's acting like he deserves a gold medal when im always keeping the house up and im not doing that. What im doing is showing him what all i have to do during the day, some updates on what i dod and whatever else i wanna send.

I told him that its unfair to us completely that he doesnt turn off "Manager" when he walks through the door. He had a conversation to me and said hes not gonna be able to shut that off when he comes home and he has to take on so much responsibilities and he feels like he needs to be inside the house alone without myself or the kids or the pets for like half a year to get his straight. Bruh. Like no. Just do better. Idk how many people told me that Id never do this and id never do that and here i am proving them wrong every single day.

But every time he speaks to me like this, I am taken back to a time where I was told "your mother never should've made you." At i think 4-5 years old? I am disabled for many reasons. And I can tell everyone all the time until I'm fucking blue in my own face that, when I say that I cant do something and I ask for help, the help is met with a "your legs work" or "you're capable. You just dont wanna wait" No duh. Thats why i said "now please". Would you rather I give you another reason to hit me 3x flat-cupped handed times on my face again and say that "If I wanted it right now and could have gotten it right now for myself"

Im tired of asking for help and being treated like nothing other than a burden and his biggest fucking problem. How was I supposed to know that I was going to this sick on your 2 days off and that every time I asked for anything, you were upset.

I guess i was right and I'm just a different person now because of trauma processing and healing. But being sick enough to make 4 separate appointments during the 2 month span and if this gets worse, this one too. So I feel like he wants me to say something to him or do something for him, but all Im getting from this is "do not ask me for anything". Isnt your spouse supposed to be the one taking care of you when youre sick? Hes already lost me emotionally. And right before our ten year wedding annivarsary. Cool.

Advice?

[mc-the-bunny]

Okay so hear me out this is my first ever story...

Have mercy on me please :')...

So i had the thought about lucifer being a winemom. And even though i dont particularly like lucifer i was thinking....

What if he would masterbate with the wine bottle and then mc walks 😳🍷

The story:

It had been a long tough day for lucifer.

All day he had been swarmed by paperwork,meetings, bills from mammon and Asmodeus buying things and making sure you dont get eaten or lose interest in him. After all he couldnt bare the thought of you losing interest in him or even worse you dying..

that would be the scariest thing happening to him after lilith died..

beel had also eaten everything in the house twice today. In response this had send satan in a rage, he had punched holes in cabinets and walls.

So now not only lucifer had paperwork he also had to scold satan, which was no easy task. The blonde demon had flung at him so many times (one hitting his abdominal area) before Lucifer could finally get him under control. He lifted his clothing up to reveal a nasty bruise grunting at the touch.

He would deal with satan later.

He also had to Prepare the repairing spells which required special ingredients they didnt have anymore due to beel eating everything including several dishes... So he'd have to go search for the ingredients.... Sigh* why doesnt akuzon have tge ingredients lucifer thinks while scroling to look if they did...

Akuzon had a lot from the east indian special black and red inc he used to the stuff his brothers bought. But sadly no spell ingredients... He could ask solomon if he could get some of the ingredients but he knew solomon would probably want to make a pact with him in return.... Not that he would ask for help otherwise, after all the Avatar of pride didnt need help from a sorcerer.

He walked up to his liquor cabinet

( which was massive)

First he had to drink some demonius to lighten his headache. (and stresslevels because lets be honest the poor man works way to much)

grabbed a bottle of demonius and sat back down behind his desk drinking straight from the bottle.

He hadnt even bothered to pore it into a glass because he would end up drinking the whole bottle anyways.

(bottles and time passed)

3 bottles of demonius later and lucifer finally felt at ease. His alcohol tolerance was naturally very high so if he really wanted to get black out drunk like mammon and Asmodeus sometimes did at parties he would have to at least drink 6 bottles of demonius.

No the 3 bottles just left him tipsy and on edge, feeling like he wanted to have some sexual gratification.

he took the empty bottle of demonius and looked at the shape. The bottles in the devildom (and human world) didnt look to different from those weird toys he saw Asmodeus walking with a few times.

He smirked opening his drawer he took some orgasm gel out. It was the gel he had wanted to use with mc, mc however was already wet enough on their own for him. Dripping down their legs before lucifer even entered them.

He smiled.

However he wasnt going to be dependent on some human to satisfy him.

He didnt want you to think he needed you.

No he was going to satisfy himself with this bottle of demonius, that was now covered in gel. He undid his pants, pulled off his underwear,

and let his hardening member jump out. He putting it on his desk and started to roll the cold bottle back and forth slowly.

his cock hardening at the temperature difference of the bottle. "Fuck " he muttered while pleasuring himself.

He would've been more than embarrassed if anyone would ever know what he was doing, no this was something only he would ever know about.

The only reason he didn't cum was because he didnt want the paperwork to be dirty with his cum. He would never stoop so low.

No he would never.

After massaging his cock with the bottle until it turned the temperature of his skin he looked at the bottle again.

Another idea popped up in his head.

The top looked to be the similar shape of the dildo he had bought recently for mc.

They had been very thankful and thrilled to try it out.

So curious that they couldnt wait to try it and he ended up watching them masterbate in front of him. He shouldve filmed it.

Such a gorgeous delicious sight should be filmed after all he thought.

He'd have to ask mc next time if he could film it.

Their moans of that night had flooded his senses remembering the lovely noises they had made, they seemed to feel so good with that toy inside their ass cumming on his sofa in his secret study.

He walked over to the sofa and looked.

mcs cum still visible on the dark red velvet.

He smirked positioning himself on the sofa ass up.

putting gell on the other side of the bottle now before slowly sliding the bottle in his ass.

A fairly loud moan escaped his mouth.

Its a good thing he had casted a spell to make this room sound proof for the time being otherwise his brithers might of heard him.

No that would be unbearable. They would definitely tease him over it, and his pride would be more shattered than ever.

Due to the orgasm gel his slit around it quite easily. He positioned himself feeling the cold glass reach deeper and deeper in his ass.

His body now felt like it was on fire with pleasure. Another loud moan escaped his mouth. Then he started thrusting the bottle in and out of his ass.

He could feel a orgasm going through his body at high speed.

Faster and faster rougher and rougher. As long as he was in control he didn't care how rough it was.

(nothing to rough for this sadist)

The sounds of his moan increasing in volume with every thrust.

He felt pure pleasure as he felt he was going to cum, he had preps for that to happen however and he Swiftly took the other empty bottle of demonius as he cummed into the bottle.

Putting the full bottle of cum to the side.

He was going to keep thrusting for a littke more he thought.

"Lucifer?"

Lucifer stiffened at hearing your voice, and looked at you like a deer in the headlights.

"what are you doing?"

"Nothing i i was doingbpaperwork "

"with that bottle up your ass? "

You couldnt help but laugh.

Not in a humiliation way but it was the last thing you had expected to walk into when opening his door.

After the knocking was left unanswered you had stepped in only to find lucifer with a bottle of demonius up his as and flushed cheecks as red as apples.

I can explain lucifer quickly pulled the bottle out and sad up, his pride scattered and fearfully awaiting your reaction. What was he thinking not putting a spell on the lock!?.

He would have to wash those bottles secretly later.

washing would be safer due to nosey brothers . you would never be sure if anyone found the bottles or would stumble upon it by accident.

They woukdve immediately known who the bottles had belonged to, after all lucifer was the only one having multiple bottles of demonius on him at all times.

"Lucifer, im sorry for laughing my beloved. Its just that i hadnt expected to find you.. In such state"

... Lucifer fell silent. he felt like his life was over. he was beating himself up for letting this happen.

What would you think of him now?

Would you turn away? He would never get over it if you did.

Sensing his worry you walk up to him and put a arm around his shoulder (not knowing if you should put them on his cock instead)

"Lucy i understand"

You smile at him.

With bewilderment in his eyes he looks at you.

"You do? "

"Yes lucy babe i do, you were under so much stress today. i already thought you had forgotten our date tonight so i initially came to remind you of it "

"im so sorry mc i shouldnt forget -"

"no its okay Lucy its not your fault"

You looked over to the second bottle of demonius on the ground, seeing what you were almost sure to be Lucy's cum in it.

"It is mc how can i apologise? "

"Ill take that bottle"

before he can say no or even think about it you grab the bottle crawl to the corner of the sofa and smell the liquid in it.

Now emerged with the smell of the last bits of demonius his cum smelled like some sort of delicate wine.

"hhhmmmmm it smells so good lucy darling"

He looks at you in shock for a bit but as soon as he realises you dont judge him for masterbating with a bottle he loosens up.

"Does it now my beloved? "

You look up happily

"Yes"

Lucifer chuckles he tries to take the bottle back but you see it comming and quickly run to the other side of the room.

"Nuh uh its mine now lucy"

Lucifer scoffs and makes his way over to you.

Before he can reach you however you already started drinking his cum out of the bottle. Your eyes still fixated on his to see his reaction.

He looks at you before regrouping himself and making his way over to you.

You run to the other side before you continue drinking his cum wine.

"Hmmm mm hmmmmmm, if water tasted like this i would definitely drink enough on a day"

"Mc, stop this weird behavior at once and hand me the bottle..

before i punish you."

He reaches to grab you but having spend so much time with mammon you know how to avoid getting caught. Running further.

Lucifer can't help but smirk, after all hes secretly really proud of you and himself. After all you said his cum is delicious and are getting quite protective.

it is as if lucifer has to take candy from a child.

"Be a good girl and finish it all then"

Your eyes sparkle in excitement

*Really lucy? Thank you!! "

You sit down on the sofa again tired from running around. Lucifer sits besides you rubbing your back waiting for you to finish it all.

You do finish it surprisingly fast and put down the empty bottle. You want to hug him but-

Lucifer grips your hands and handcufs them

"Lucy?"

"yes darling"

he smirks biting your ear softly.

You squeel

"Lucy what are we going to do? We have to be at the restaurant at 6 remember?"

He positions you in a way your but is sticking up. He squeezes it and this draws a moan from your mouth.

"I remember that, we still have 3 hours"

"but-" you stammer.

"i said i would punish you

so be prepared sitting might hurt a bit in the restaurant. "

He says as he takes out his whip ready to spank you senseless for not obeying him.

I hope you enjoyed.

Im sorry for spelling errors im dyslexic😣

[prissypickle]

Tw: Verbal abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, drinking

Last night my my mom was drunk. We got in a fight and said some pretty awful things to me. I couldnt find nemo, our sweet fur noodle so I had my mom help me. I started to panic 30 minutes into looking for him terrified that he may have gotten out. Our ferret Jasper got out on Christmas day and it was the scariest thing ever. We luckily got him back though he ran 3 blocks. So whenever I try to find my ferrets I panic after a certain amount of time. I asked if my mom could help me and she did lifted the couch found 3, Nermal, Simba and Jasper. I looked for him for an hour and then I started crying and my mom helped me more. I grabbed a squeeky toy and looked for him, (squeeky toys sound like kits in distress and they usually Immediately come to it) so I freaked out more after when I couldn’t find him. Then my mom starts saying things to me

“Youre a disappointment”

“You are disgusting”

“I resent giving birth to you”

“You shouldve died when you had your suicide attempt”

“All you do is lie to me,”

These are the worst things someone has ever said to me. I immediately wanted to hurt myself, because I was just so upset about it.

I spent 30 minutes looking for something sharp, anything. And once I found something hell broke loose. I held my sharps in my hand for another 30 minutes while I talked to the crisis like and they disconnected me twice. So I ended up relapsing.

I know its not the end of the world that I relapsed its more so the verbal abuse that is just hurting me. It made me want to try to kms again. I still feel paralyzed by it. I just want to check myself in the psych unit and tell them I dont want visitors.

Verbal abuse is horrible

Im so so sorry it you are being verbally abused

My dad told me not to let it effect me, and instead of dismissing my thoughts he said dont let that effect me. Its not true.

If you are being verbally abused

Know its not your fault and that you are still amazing.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

P.P| Wassup danga?

summary: stop ya tracks and neva hold back

warning: IDK

A/n: i dont know... uhhhh like whats up danger? Whats up danger? IMAGE NOT MINE

"Happy i cant do it, it was my fault for his death, i dont deserve it. Please just take it back" peter said to happy, his heart shattered as he brought up mr. Stark.

"We dont bring him up pete, but if you insist" happy sighs, peter shoves the suit in happys chest and runs away as fast as he can.

after mr. stark died he wasnt himself. MJ and peter broke up after two weeks because he was so... dull. But how could anyone blame him? He was is father figure and idol all in one. and he blamed his death on himself, the nightmares he had were heart breaking, traumitizing. It couldve been him, it shouldve been him.

he didnt regret giving the suit back after a week because there was no point, he was old bullied, geek peter. There was no more saving a cat or a maniac who posed as a vulture, he was just there.

you didnt support him about his actions, you love him, but hes stupid. You never distanced yourself from him though, because it was a hard time for you also. Mr. Stark was a dad to you to, although steve is your dad. Some mixed up shit.

but youd never sit there with peter and cry while sitting in his bunk head, pulling his head into your chest as you both tell each other its okay and desperately kiss, that shits weak. But you really needed peter for this mission so you planned on bring him back.

you called him and said you wanted to go on a bike ride and did, somewhere random in the dark but the moonlight is beautifu. You guys stopped right at a waterfront. You looked at him as he leaned against the rail and looked at the clear water that shinned from the moon.

"peter?"

"hmm?" He looked at you. You bite your lower lip and put your hands in your pokets and stood uo straight, peter following soon.

"i need you, this town needs you, this world.. needs you" you say poking his chest firmly as your last words. He sighs as his chest falls. "Well everyone needs iron man but look at what happened to him-"

"peter. Shut up. Are you afraid to die? (I sacrifice my life for pakastan) or are you blaming yourself?" You say cutting him off.

"well both, y/n honestly i dont care about what you have to say-"

"then shut the fuck up and listen, peter. Stop blaming yourself, he is a hero dead or alive and your not gonna die anytime soon, i need you pete, forget everyone else then, i need you" You say, trying to make him rethink his tracks, but instead he starts to tear up.

"i-i just want to start over... y/n i cant-"

"take a leap of faith"

"how?" He asks, his cheeks and nose red as tears fall from his eyes and down to his sweater.

"dont be a fuckin pussy" you simply say before walking off, getting on your bike and going back home.

he sighed as he recognized what you meant, knowing its true he clenches his jaw and goes to his bike, making it back home, he did have a small pity party, noticing hes letting everyone down, but he grabbed his homeade suit and webbs and went to the highest building he could find.

as he looked down he saw all the lights, cars and small people that kinda looked like ants. Then he drew himself a picture, he squated at the edge of the building, at the top where he was squating was his problems, down below was happiness, scratch that, stressless.

he reajusted his mask as he looked down and sighed, thinking about everthing he has done wrong and shamed himself about it.

dont be a fuckin pussy

dont be a fuckin pussy

you words flooded his mind as he fixed his goggles next. "dont be a fuckin pussy" he repeated to himself before jumping off.

"OH SHIT!" He yelled, the air slapping on his face as his hands let loose, feeling like a bird in the wind he laughed and spread them, gliding in the air as a smile slapped across his face, letting everything go and closing his eyes, only to have your face pop up.

he opened his eyes immediately and saw people looking up at him as the trucks and cars got closer. He looked up and used his webs to web th buildings next to it, he goes feet first on the roof as he lands on there, then jumps down to an alley.

"hey pete"

"hi" he turns.

"dont be a-"

"fuckin pussy" you both say, you smile and walk away

[readymades2002]

its a little more complicated than that i guess. it's not entirely because of me. he hasn't been socialized well and it got worse after joe died and after moving into an apartment and it is kind of important to socialize your dog in these places but we never did that. my mom made attempts but she works a lot and to be honest he is an intimidating dog so it is in fact our fault for not doing that. we shouldn't have had him to begin with and we certainly shouldn't have taken him here and we did not get a lot of say in either decision (joe got him and joe died before separating into a new household with the dog but that would've been bad and maybe worse for the dog so) but ended up here anyway

he's very edgy around people but my mom says she's made improvement with him (before this, obviously) and i dont know how much of that is optimism and how much is sincere because he and i get along badly. im edgy around people and we feed off each other. i don't think he'd be as aggressive if it wasn't for me. he's worse because of me and i'm not strong enough to handle it and so. um.

mom contacted a behavior specialist but i don't know if it will matter because he is scary and everyone is scared of him except us and going "well he's a sweet dog to US and when he's not SURPRISED by people he doesn't bite them he’s just loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (that was what happened, someone hopped the fence with him while i was taking him out and i was at the top of a slippery hill with bad grip so he got startled and took off for them and i couldn't stop him, her mom was more pissed than she was but that's obviously justified, a dog bit her daughter, and while her daughter was trying to be cool about it and wasted her precious energy AFTER BEING BIT trying to tell me it was fine and she'd had worse and here are some tips for reeling your dog back in but like. it obviously hurt and she shouldn't have had to bother) because like. he is a sweet dog to us. he is so sweet and cuddly it is annoying at times. but like. we live around so many people and keep him isolated out of fear and its clearly not good for anyone. i mean its like. i dont blame anyone wanting him put down i guess is the point, i understand, i think they are objectively correct and even if by some fucking miracle he goes through behavioral training and improves it still shouldve happened sooner and didnt because of time/money not allowing it and frankly without those things we shouldn't have kept him with us and only did because. he is a dog our dead dad gave us five and a half years ago and we got attached lol. so

its like. um. it felt like this was going to end up happening eventually and its entirely our fault (and my fault for making him even worse around even the idea of people) and im just uh. you know. you know. i keep thinking he wouldn't have done this if my mom had taken him, and she asked before i took him out if she should, and i said no because taking the dogs out is one of the only fucking things im good for and im not even good at it and, in fact, BAD because it directly led to someone getting hurt and a dog probably being killed, and now the only responsibility anyone will trust me with is haunted by "if i had just taken him out instead this wouldn't have happened" and its like instead of puttingthe dog down i think they should have me put down since i won't do it myself because im spineless and it's better for everyone that way. that i dont play like i can be around people or do things when it leads to this.

um. i don't know. i don't know what to say about it really. i mean i did talk anyway but it's like. entirely our fault and my fault and if he does get put down which i really should just say he is because i don't really see a way out of this then it's the safer thing to do and besides that we cannot fucking get evicted so. im just dealing with it i guess. the consequences. im not used to thinking anything is real in that way so its um. teehee. im really fucking upset with myself, is essentially, kind of where im at, no matter what else goes into it i really wish id just. done anything else.literally anything else

[punkscowardschampions]

Charlie & Ronnie

Charlie: You said you were coming to this thing

Charlie: can I send your apologies instead now?

Charlie: 👍

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: ill be there like i said

Charlie: Time management was never one for the CV

Charlie: but you’re already more than fashionably late, dear

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: invite came from mckenna and he dont care

Charlie: It’s not his dinner party

Ronnie: no shit

Ronnie: its not yours either calm down like

Charlie: I’m just saying, you’ve wrangled an invite as is

Charlie: you’re gonna make it more awkward because?

Ronnie: if shes not got you working the door now as another favour why the fuck are you so bothered is what im just saying mary

Charlie: They’re nice kids, whatever beef you’ve got with your brother and the rest, I don’t see why you’ve got to involve them, is what I’m saying

Charlie: they’ve not got fuck all to do with your family drama

Ronnie: err he ll be made up dont you want me to be a boss big sister

Charlie: the kid clearly has his own issues

Charlie: I could spot codependent and toxic before you could walk, don’t lie to me, like

Ronnie: cant walk now so stall the starters or dont

Charlie: For fuck’s sake Veronica

Ronnie: you wanted the truth bitch

Charlie: You can’t show up here high

Charlie: they’ll be terrified, might call the cops

Ronnie: showing up sober is what i cant do

Charlie: don’t you think you should take a break from him

Charlie: whatever you decide to do after, you need to calm it down

Ronnie: it was you who said not to act like he werent about

Charlie: yeah, you can’t pretend it hasn’t happened obviously

Charlie: but that was before you shot him up

Ronnie: and after you told me to look after him

Ronnie: make up your fucking mind baby

Charlie: What would be preferable is you not fucking doing it

Charlie: really should go without saying

Ronnie: it fucking wouldnt

Ronnie: you cant hack living with me on gear how do you reckon itd be with me off it

Charlie: I meant dosing a kid, ‘cos there’s no way it happened the once

Charlie: and there are options for you, for free on the glorious NHS for now

Ronnie: you meant both 🖕 he werent a kid when you wanted to fuck him

Charlie: Not the same is it

Charlie: someone can be old enough for sex and not old enough for you to ruin their life

Ronnie: love ya for the flattery but his life was fucked before he found me

Charlie: was he using

Ronnie: youre the only cunt i know who reckons hes above it even B uses 💊

Charlie: yeah because there aren’t levels to it

Charlie: come off it

Charlie: the 💊s he takes aren’t on the level of smack, at all

Ronnie: mckenna aint never gonna let you daddy him you can stop pretending to give a shit

Charlie: I give a shit because you’re a mess

Charlie: more than usual

Ronnie: i dont usually have to babysit any bastard half brothers like

Charlie: you’re choosing to come tonight though

Ronnie: i owe him after that call centre bullshit

Charlie: and that’s it?

Ronnie: what the fuck else would it be

Charlie: You tell me

Ronnie: i just did

Charlie: Alright then

Ronnie: [show up so he can judge the absolute state of you IRL and have to make allowances for that and how rude you are]

Charlie: [we all know how this goes, feel his shame and judgment in how much work we have to do to cover up your behaviour]

Ronnie: [how offended and upset she would be that he's ashamed of her is killing me because how could he not be babe]

Charlie: [oh honey, like what else could we be lol]

Ronnie: [the real question is have you picked up on the jealous and intense incesty vibes yet boy or what do you think is happening lol]

Charlie: [If anyone would pick up on it, we know you and your possessive energy]

Ronnie: [yeah that was my thought cos he knows her the best and they have their own weird history and vibe so]

Charlie: [he’s obvs not going to talk to you right now because mad and also like !!! but feel free to do some if you wanna]

Ronnie: [gonna have her try and talk to him when Jamie is talking to Joe for obvious reasons lol but before we’re bleeding]

Ronnie: you can lord it you were right but lets bail yeah

Ronnie: charlie come ed soft lad

Ronnie: what you ignoring me for 🖕💔

Ronnie: fucks sake

Ronnie: [after the briefest pause because he won’t immediately reply to her just gotta go into graphic detail about that OD she had in Margate before Joe got there cos he can clearly see all the self harm that’s going on but she wouldn’t have told him about this until literally now]

Charlie: [just a look like DON’T that cannot be overstated]

Charlie: why would you do that

Ronnie: can we fucking go now

Charlie: you can

Charlie: don’t use your self-destruction to hold me hostage, you’re beyond too old for that now, Jesus fucking Christ

Ronnie: [this makes logical sense to be where Sophie pops up with the kitchen roll etc and then bathroomgate so all of that is kicking off]

Charlie: [just out here doing the most to cover for you]

Charlie: what the fuck are you doing

Ronnie: [because they are doing the most in that tiny bathroom LOL you can have a reply once she’s left]

Ronnie: leaving

Ronnie: youre welcome

Charlie: yeah, you did me such a solid there, tah

Ronnie: you too florence dead caring

Charlie: you can’t hack a kid’s dinner party?

Ronnie: fuck you

Ronnie: you know whats wrecking my head

Charlie: yet you can’t leave him alone

Charlie: how the fuck can I do anything if you won’t do that

Ronnie: you werent gonna do fuck all end of

Ronnie: youve not

Charlie: you aren’t a kid, I can’t force you to sort your life out

Ronnie: yeah cos being like you will save me

Charlie: I’m not OD’ing with strangers

Ronnie: 💔 everyone liked you better when you were using

Charlie: you did

Charlie: and that isn’t a good enough reason to be a junkie forever

Ronnie: no shit i did

Charlie: well I’m so sorry your majesty

Charlie: God forbid I sort my life for me

Ronnie: nobody but you gives a fuck you stopped snorting lines out of every twinks arse crack

Ronnie: god forbid you shut the fuck up about it and this recovery bullshit

Charlie: you clearly give a fuck, Ronnie

Ronnie: you give more of a fuck about mckennas flatmates than you do about me

Charlie: that’s bullshit

Charlie: you only came to ruin their night, you got mad when it weren’t going your way

Charlie: you expected me to help?

Ronnie: i dont give a shit about these teenagers

Ronnie: im losing it and you reckon theyre on my mind

Charlie: Is ruining his life going to fix yours

Charlie: no

Ronnie: youve never had to hack this dont fucking tell me how to

Charlie: because you’re the only one who has family issues

Charlie: fuck you, you know I’d give anything to be in your spot

Ronnie: if i could swap our places i would

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking be here doing this with him & you aint even tried to get your head round that

Charlie: in what world does it need to be like this

Ronnie: the world im living in where the fuck is your head at

Charlie: why can’t you just fucking

Charlie: cut him off or actually try

Ronnie: this is me trying

Ronnie: i didnt hang myself off the back of their bathroom door

Charlie: then you need to stop

Charlie: I’ll tell him to leave you alone now

Ronnie: hes gonna do that now without you flouncing in

Charlie: I’m still doing it, you ain’t here to stop me

Ronnie: hot but you still aint his type

Charlie: not funny

Ronnie: not joking

Charlie: don’t be tapped, I wouldn’t go anywhere near him now

Ronnie: stick your dick where you like i dont give a fuck

Charlie: yeah well I’m slightly more discerning, tah very much

Ronnie: these days

Charlie: yeah, where we live now

Charlie: I’m not trying to relive my worst years every weekend

Ronnie: yeah such a grown up youre having dinner with kids

Ronnie: save this little speech to pull the wool over the eyes of whatever wool homo youre gonna try and pull at the weekend

Charlie: I never said I was there yet

Charlie: better than the state of you

Ronnie: 🖕💔

Ronnie: state of me yeah after whats just happened youve seen fuck all yet soft cunt

Charlie: that’s the sound of me being unimpressed

Charlie: grow up

Ronnie: shut up properly by getting out of my fucking face

Charlie: I’m going out

Ronnie: with your new bezzies

Charlie: what’s it to you

Ronnie: youre not a junkie and youre still the most selfish cunt i know have a word with yourself

Charlie: because I’m not jumping to do exactly what you want, no matter how dumb or shit an idea it is

Charlie: yeah, I’m the problem, alright babe

Ronnie: you reckon you wanna be in my place so bad but you cant even hack it from there

Ronnie: since when have i gotta beg for help off you

Charlie: I wouldn’t act like a dick if anyone from my family reached out

Charlie: and what help? You haven’t asked for help, you wanted me to help you shit on some random kids to make you feel better for 10 seconds

Charlie: if you actually told me anything seriously, if you wanted help and not just someone to get high with

Ronnie: i wanted to fucking leave & cos i didnt its pure fucked now

Ronnie: i am my head is worse than before and you dont give a single shit

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: like fuck are you getting the gossip

Charlie: gossip are you serious

Charlie: ‘cos this either is and I’m the shittest mate in the world or it isn’t and it’s ‘gossip’

Ronnie: shittest mate is right weve established it

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: fuck you its your fault

Charlie: then tell me what I did bitch

Ronnie: i told you we shouldve gone

Charlie: okay, we should’ve gone

Charlie: go on

Ronnie: you were there

Charlie: yeah, and I was covering for you

Ronnie: yeah well done

Charlie: you say that like I’m meant to know what the fuck you were doing, is my point

Charlie: i was a little busy sorting your mess

Ronnie: you had a cob on over that mess and the one im in after it is loads fucking worse so theres fuck all you can sort for me now

Charlie: calm down and stop being dramatic

Charlie: just tell me and we’ll sort it

Ronnie: fuck off

Ronnie: thank christ i dont need you to calm down

Ronnie: [gonna go get messy obvs so she probably won't reply but if you wanna try go ahead hun]

Charlie: yeah, smack has served you SO well thus far

Charlie: what a great idea

Charlie: come on

Charlie: oh, the silent treatment in return, really

Charlie: very mature

Charlie: I’ll see you when I get home

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

The Baker and The Prince (Pt. 10)

-------------------------

Roman POV

It was cold, to cold, Roman opened his eyes to examine his surroundings. He was in a cell, his wrists chained to the floor.

"That cant be right. . . I'm not a criminal, I'm a prince!" he tugged at the chains, which seemed to be burning his wrists.

"I wanted to thank you for bringing him down my darling, it was so much easier with you at my side," Presley's voice came from outside the door.

"Of course it was easy! Prince's live for forbidden romance, a lowly baker is just what he would've fallen for," Roman froze, his mouth seemed to have gone dry.

"Well it was a brilliant show, you'll be rewarded kindly once we off the others and reclaim the throne," Presley said. Ran could see his silhouette outside the door, and Virgil's just behind it.

"I tried to tell Patton to stay home, a shame he didnt listen, isnt it," Virgil voice sounded. . . different.

"Virgil he's your brother! You dont mean that!" Roman tugged harder on the chains, his wrists burning like they were going to fall off.

"Oh! Wonderful! He's awake!" Presley opened the door, Roman barely paid attention to him as he walked inside. Virgil was dressed in attire usually reserved for royal weddings. His eyes seemed glazed over, dead, even.

"Virgil. . . this isnt you. . ." Roman said, almost pleading with him.

"You dont know anything about me," said Virgil, with a smirk that was so similar to Presley's it nearly froze Roman to the spot.

"Yes I do! You have a necklace that turns you into a cat, when you were seven years old Patton bought you a broomstick and a hat so you could pretend to be a witch, you lost both your front teeth at nine years old from trying to climb rocks, when you were twelve you got your first binder and were so excited you nearly smacked someone in the face because your hands were flapping so fast," Roman was practically begging Virgil to show some sign of recognition, anything that would show he'd won him back, but all that stared back was cold uncaring darkness.

Then Roman heard a click, his shackles fell to the ground. He made the last effort he could, and kissed Virgil on the lips, holding his body close as if were he to let it go he would die.

Roman opened his eyes, and the scene was gone, he was in a garden, facing Presley, who was emitting a faint amount of smoke.

"Well done Roman, you beat me! Now let's see how good the others are, hm?" a screen opened up around them, Roman couldn't do anything but stare.

Logan POV

Logan felt like crying. Why were they back home? Where was Remus? Why wasnt anyone listening to them?

"Hello? Can anyone hear me? Wheres Remus? Has anyone seen my boyfriend?" they were shaking, shaking so violently they thought they might collapse. No one made any sign of recognizing them, or even that they were there at all. So they did what they'd always done when this happened, ran into the woods. The daemon that lived there was always helpful, he helped them realize they were genderfluid, he bought them their first binder, gave them a home.

But the treehouse in which they lived was nowhere to be seen, only a stump, and a royal crest graffitied onto it.

"No no no no no- this cant be happening!" Logan fell to their knees, burying their head in their hands.

"Remus. . . tell me you didnt do this. . . tell me you didnt hurt my only friend. . ." they were sure no one would hear them, but they felt a hand rest on their shoulder.

"I had to Logie, he was dangerous," Remus' voice was cold, the complete opposite of the man they knew and loved.

"You're not Remus, you're not my boyfriend, you arent real," Logan glared behind themself. They were correct, the thing behind them was merely an amalgamation of white and brown hair, and green. . . sludge. Logan ran off, and directly into a wall of screens. Roman hugged them from behind.

"Are you real?" Logan said.

"Are you?" Roman replied, he'd been crying, Logan could tell. They hugged him back, and turned to face the next screen

Patton POV

It was busy in the shop, busier than it had ever been. Where was his brother? Virgil always helped when it was busy! But Patton couldn't find time to go check on him.

The shop finally attempted, he could finally go look for his brother. What awaited him in Virgil's room was not a pretty sight. The whole room looked ransacked, shelves overturned, papers and books strewn across the floor. There was a note on Virgil's bed, Patton picked it up.

I ran away Patton, I cant deal with you ir your nagging anymore, life isnt all sunshine and rainbows and you need to realize that, and just because you're older doesnt mean you're wiser, you cant keep telling me what to do and expect it not to have consequences.

Patton felt tears running down his cheeks. He abandoned all pretense if self preservation and leapt out the window. The grass below cushioned his fall much better than expected. He raced through the garden, ignoring the aching in his legs and burning feeling in his lungs.

"Virgil! Virgil come back! Please!" Patton felt hopeless, like there was a pit in his stomach he couldnt fix.

"Virgil! Virgil please I cant do this alone!" he cried.

"Then you shouldve been a better brother." Virgil stepped out from the trees, anger clear as a day across his face.

"I didnt mean to. . . you couldve told me. . . Virgil I'm so sorry. . ." Patton collapsed to his knees, hiding his face so Virgil wouldnt see his tears.

Then he was leaning against something, or someone. Logan helped him up, they smiled at him, and he felt much better.

Remus POV

The unloved brother, the screwup, the shame of the family. That's all Remus was. Everyone seemed keen on telling him that all the sudden, even Logan wasnt holding back their glares. He tried to talk to them, ask what was wrong, but they didnt respond with much more than a noise of indignant disgust, and a wave of the hand, dismissing him. It was then that Remus had finally noticed what he was wearing, a servants uniform, and Logan was dressed like the royalty Remus had always though they were.

"Logan where is all this coming from? You said you didn't care how gross I was, you helped me dissect a heart!" Remus felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"That was then, I'm a monarch now, I have better things to do then spend time with a disgusting servant like you." Logan's voice was cold, he didnt even look at Remus when he spoke. But Remus was no stranger to being ignored, and he wasnt about to waste his talents now.

"LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU LOGAN. I DONT CARE IF YOU SUDDENLY THINK IM THE SCUM OF THE EARTH. I LOVE YOU. YOU CANT CHANGE THAT. AND YOU LOVE ME TO. I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT." Logan looked at him, their eyes widened with shock, and he took this opportunity bring them in for a kiss.

"Uh- Re- there are other people here- can you eat your joyfriend's face later-" Roman's voice broke through the silence. Remus parted his lips from Logan's, they were both in their normal clothes, standing in a room of screens.

Virgil POV

There were screens everywhere, his friends were being tortured, Remy and Emile had joined the ranks of the dragons, and Virgil couldn't stop them.

"Stop it! Stop it! Take me instead! Kill me if you have to just leave them alone!" tears were streaming down his face, the one time he was begging for a response from Presley, yet he received none. He watched Roman be betrayed by aan that wasnt him, Logan lose their best friend, Patton lose him, Remus be abandoned. He couldnt take it, he felt numb, he hated it, he wanted to get out, he wanted to get out and he didnt care how.

"Its all my fault. Is that what you want? Do you want me to say that? Hm?" Virgil tried to lift his head, but he couldnt seem to find the energy.

"VIRGIL!" multiple voices called out to him. He was lying on the ground now, he didnt care why.

"Where are Emmy and Remy?" Patton asked, concern apparent in his voice.

"Dragons, he turned them into dragons, like the others," Virgil said, tears were staining his face.

"They failed their challenges, it's their fault," Presley said. He was smoking like a volcano now.

"You're dying, arent you," said Roman, taking out a sword.

"Only for now, when I kill the five of you I'll be stronger than ever," Presley laughed and retrieved his own weapon, and time itself seemed to freeze in place.

----------------------------------------------

@official-lucifers-child

@oceanart123

@spooky-scary-virgil

@youtuberswithalex

@misunderstoodshadowling

@i-need-you-buddy

@somehow-i-got-an-account

@escalatingtoofast

@hedgiehoggles

@noodle---doodle

@thecolorfulolive

@lonelyanxiousbean

[chocojjk]

Eggs

summary: badboy! changbin if you squint 

words: 7k

warnings: one mention of death by illness

a/n: this took way too long cause i got so lazy lmfao, slide into my inbox with prompts cause idk what to write after this 

not edited per usual, im lazy :(((

you and changbin lived in different worlds

changbin has always been the schools most notorious bad boy

along with his group, 3racha

he was the typical bad boy -- gets into fights, wears leather, barely shows up to class, etc.

after watching countless of rom-coms, you and i, reader, should know that bad boys like to keep to themselves

and they won't bother you unless you cross their territory, not at all different from changbin

someone bullies one of his friends???

you might as well run now , because he will be coming for your ass

he catches you talking shit?

you should probably say goodbye to your mouth and have a doctors appointment ready

the point im trying to make is that seo changbin does not take shit from anyone

which doesn't really matter at this point because everyone has learned to fear him

on the other hand, you're, what they say is a “good girl”

too caught up with your books and your grades, in the library 24/7, worrying too much about the future you envision

you stayed away from drama as much as possible, happy with the 2-3 friends that you have  

and,,,

well,,,

you probably saw this coming,, but just in case you didnt, ill say it

your two different worlds are about to collide

---------------

youve been searching for a little over 20 minutes to where he could be when you finally spotted him at the table all way in the back of the library

you let out the deepest sigh, you shouldve figured he would choose that table jfc

‘he really is sticking to his reputation’ you think to yourself as you made your way over to him

“hi, im y/n, i'm your tutor,” you say, giving him a soft smile

changbin doesn't even bother to reply to you as he got up and left

you were left standing there like,,,

what the fuck just happened ??

before you finally snapped out of your confused trance and chased after him

catching up to him you grab his arm, putting a complete halt to his movement

and suddenly the library was even quieter than it should be

every single eye in the room focused on the interaction that lies in front of them

the notorious bad boy and the goody two shoes,,, how incredibly cliche

he looks at you, his eyes dark and unreadable

the expression on his face was emotionless yet it felt like he was crushing you under his stare

finally noticing that your hand was still gripped around his arm, you quickly let go, letting out a small “ehem”

the tension in the air was thick, it felt like someone just put a dark cloud above your head and you couldn’t blow it away

god damn this was awkward

not even the good awkward where you can laugh about it later, this is the kind of awkward situation that hits you in the middle of the night and suddenly you're just cringing at every bad thing you have done in the past

“uhm, im suppose to tutor you,” you try to say confidently as soon as you found your voice, but really it was barely above a whisper

“maybe show up on time,” he says, his voice as dark and as strong as his aura

and with one final look at you, he walked out of there

you didnt bother anymore, you knew you were at fault

‘we’ll try again tomorrow,’ you think to yourself before your best friend, hyunjin walked up to you, pulling you outside the library  

“dude are you okay?”

“uhmm, why wouldn’t i be?”

“i just saw you talking to changbin”

“ok and ?”

“he’s bad news y/n,” your best friend says, warning you

“ i dont really have a choice hyunjin” you reply

you think back to 3 days ago when you were called to the principal's office

not gonna lie, you were shaking in your boots,, only bad kids get randomly sent to the principal's office

as you entered the room, Mrs. Seo was already waiting for you behind her desk

“hi ms. l/n, i dont think weve formally met,” she says, reaching out to shake your hand

“ its nice to meet you”

“ please, sit down, make yourself comfortable,” she continued, pointing to the seat right in front of her

sensing your nervousness she quickly added a, “don't worry, you're not in trouble”

phew

your brain was starting to hurt from trying to rack what you must have done wrong to be seated in the big office

“ why am i here then if you don't mind me asking?”

“ ah yes, i need you to tutor my son”

,,,,,

oh

(◎_◎;)

,,,

“umm, why me?”

“you're top 1 in the class, is there anyone better than you to do it?”

well,,, she wasn't wrong

you mentally pat yourself at the back for this, happy that your efforts were being noticed

“don't worry ms. l/n, if you succeed, i’ll make sure you get into any college that you desire “

‘pshhhh, im top 1 ms seo, i can do that on my own’ you think to yourself 

“....and fully paid for.”

well, shit , how can you say no to that offer

its literally free education right in your fingertips  

what's the catch??

“ you can do that?” you ask

“ of course. i know very important people. so what do you say?”

and after a few minutes of contemplating within yourself, you finally agreed

“ also, while you're at it, i want you to change my son's reputation.”

and there it is

“ i'm sorry?” you reply,, maybe you just misheard the fact that she literally asked you to change her son

“ i don't just want you to tutor him in english, i want you to make him a better person.”

“how do you expect me to do that?”

“be his friend. teach him the ways of life, i'm not always gonna be around to get him out of trouble. You're a smart girl ms. l/n you'll figure it out.”

without giving you a final say, she ushered you out of there but not before she added

“ one last thing ms. l/n, dont tell anyone about this.”

the way she said it was so scary, and its like a spell was casted on you and you could only utter out an

“ of course mam”

i guess from her standpoint, she made sense

“ i just dont understand why Mrs. Seo chose you out of all the people”

“ we’ve already gon over this hyunjin”

“ yeah yeah, its cause youre the smartest of the class-”

hyunjin continues to talk however you’ve tuned him out as your eyes went to focus on changbin, himself

greeting the rest of his friends, an actual smile on his face, much different from the changbin you encountered a couple minutes ago

he gets up on his motorcycle and was about ready to put his helmet on when he felt someone staring at him ( i told yall, tYpiCAl bad boy )

he whips his head around in quick search for the culprit

and for the second time that day, you found yourself looking in the dark brown eyes of the the one and only, seo changbin

his smile quickly disappearing once he found your eyes

putting on his helmet whilst still maintaining the eye contact, he quickly drove away and you can't help but continue to just watch his figure retreat to the size of a dot until he was completely away from your line of vision

the next day - friday

you were in the library, seated in the table changbin used the day before

unlike yesterday, you were there dummy early

exactly 30 minutes before the actual tutoring session

he wasn't going to get away this time

finally , the chair across from you gets occupied, a backpack loudly flopping its way unto the table

he doesn't say a word,

he doesn't even look at you

he just sits there, staring at the table between you guys

“uhm, i think we got on the wrong foot yesterday, im y/n”

you say, a wide smile on your face, trying to change the atmosphere

he scoffs at this

‘omyfuckinggod who does he think he is’

‘im gonna fucking murder this kid’

‘his mom was right when he said he needed to change’

as much as you wanted to just punch him in the face, you plastered a small smile on your face instead

“should we start?” you continue

“i guess”

for the next hour, you learn that changbin doesn’t even need tutoring

he was definitely smarter than he lead on

he knew the answer to every single question you asked and didnt even seem like he was trying 

“uhmm, changbin can i ask you something?”

he just nods at you, urging you to go on

“are you failing your class on purpose?”

and with that he stands up, giving you a small smirk, “i think this session is over,”

“i-okay- i-i’ll see you on monday!” you say even though he was already a good 5 feet away from you  

-----------

as you laid in your bed that night, you wondered why the boy chose to fail his class

but no matter what scenario you could think of, you just cant understand it

is this what privileged people do ?

they know that they can get away with anything so they dont even try ?

‘aish, why am i thinking about him,’

‘y/n stop it’

‘ahhhhh’

you tried forcing yourself to sleep, to completely shut off all thoughts

but damn that stupid smirk on his face just keeps reappearing

and with that you slapped your pillow unto your face, not at all excited for the days to come

saturday night - 9 pm

to be honest, you weren't the type to go out on a saturday night

however you stayed in bed the whole day binging your netflix shows that you completely forgot to run your errands

so now you're here, at the local supermarket, buying your weekly groceries

you may be asking why can't your parents just do it?

well,,,

you only live with your mom, and she was very busy running the night shift at the hospital + picking up extra shifts

so she's really never home 

and when she is, she crashes right to sleep, exhausted from work

so ever since two years ago, when you turned 16, this has been the life that you were used to

you weren't complaining of course, she was only working to provide for you and your future

the least you could do is help around the house

after a good 7 minutes, you finally gathered everything that you needed

eggs, check

bread, check

peanut butter, check

a bag of hot cheetos,,,, check check and check

you nodded, proud of yourself for finishing it so fast and made your way to your car until a loud crash stops you from doing so

the next thing you know, you were being dragged into the alleyway

“1!!!!1111! I- get off of me,” you say thrashing and kicking, trying to get away

‘oh god, im gonna die tonight,’

‘if there is a god out there,, pls,,, not tonight’

‘i haven't finished my netflix series yet,, plssss’

however your thoughts were cut short when your captor whispered, “shhh, its changbin”

changbin??

chaNgbIN???

chANGBIN???

he finally turns you around, making you face him

“play along if you don't want to get hurt,”

and in one quick motion, his lips were on yours,,,

seo changbin was kissing you

your eyes open, stunned at what was happening

and then you noticed it...5 men walking around the area

and hoping that you've watched the right dramas, you pieced together what you think is happening

leading you to closing your eyes and kissing him back

which honestly caught changbin off guard, “good girls” dont react this way???

but he’d never let you know that, as he pulled you closer to him,

his arms snaking  around your waist

your hands going around his neck, the grocery bag being forgotten

yall were full on making out now

too caught up with each other’s taste to even notice the 5 guys leaving

(((im really bad at writing these kinds of scenes jfc, this sounds awkward as hell pls just picture it)))

until finally after like 23823 years, you pulled away, trying to catch your breath

damn, that kiss was good

probably the best one you’ve ever had

what????

just cause you're a goody-two-shoes doesn't mean you haven't been kissed before okay,,, were not going THAT cliche

he slowly lets go of you, his eyes darting to the grocery bag on the ground

“your eggs are broken,” he says

“m-my eggs?”, you reply, still on cloud nine,

following his gaze, you snapped out of your daze

“oh, r-right, my eggs,” you say softly, a frown making its way upon your face

changbin grabs your hand, pulling you towards the grocery store

“what are you doing?”

as usual, he doesn’t reply

honestly, you should be used to this by now

he dashes around the supermarket

you were right behind him, trying to keep up with his fast paced speed

finally, he gets to his location, the egg aisle

“which one do you want?”

“what?”

“eggs, which one?” he replies

“uhm, you don't have to, i can ju-”

“i'm not doing this for you,” he replies, cutting you off

you looked at him , not knowing what he meant

‘if he wasn't doing it for me then who the fuck is he buying these eggs for, i don't see anyone else here’

sensing your dumbness he grabbed a carton of the most expensive eggs and made his way to the cashier, pulling you along  

and you don't know why, or what has gotten into you, but all you could do was watch and follow

“here. were even now.” he says, before walking away, leaving you in front of the grocery store, holding a carton of eggs

monday

and now we’re back to the start of the week

which means another week of tutoring

as you waited for changbin to show up at the usual spot, you can’t help but think back to two nights ago

the feeling of his lips against yours all a distant memory yet at the same time, one that you could still remember clearly

“hey,” changbin says, breaking you out of your thoughts

“hi?” you reply, confused as to why he even greeted you in the first place

you guys do the usual, read a couple of flash cards, learn new words blah blah blah and all that boring crap that you learn in a high school English class

at one point you guys find yourself just sat in silence, and you can’t help but ask the question that’s been on your mind since Saturday night

“so who were those guys?”

“doesn’t concern you”

“uhm, the fact that you had your tongue down my mouth says otherwise,”

changbin was shocked, he wasn’t used to people responding to him the way you just did

don’t you know who he is???

he gives you one of his signature smirks, regaining his composure

“you liked my tongue being down your throat,” he says teasingly

o_O

＜(。_。)＞

excuse me what

is he flirting with you ??

what’s happening ??

“who said I did?” you say mimicking his tone, not allowing yourself to back down of this conversation

after Saturday night you told yourself that you were never going to just watch and follow

if you didn’t want the damn egg, you should’ve said something, you were so disappointed in yourself

you had your own brain, you can make your own decisions

besides you were here to be in control over him, not the other way around

“oh cmon, you’re really gonna try to refute it??” he says, the stupid smirk still evident on his stupid face

god, how you wish you could just smack it off

with your mouth

wait, who said that???

“you enjoyed it just as much as I did,” you say, knowing that if you answer then he would stop

and you were right, he completely shut his mouth and let the silence envelop you once again

“they were kids from another school,”

you look up at him, shocked that he actually answered

“why were they looking for you?”

“I may have keyed their car,” he says chuckling

“Because?”

“Isn’t that enough questions y/n?”

y/n

that was the first time he’s ever said your name

and you weren’t gonna lie, you liked how it sounded

“sorry”

“it’s fine”

“i don’t want to question it but why are you being so nice?”

“you helped me out without questioning me which means you trust me. im just returning the favor.”

“so, what im hearing is , you trust me?”

<(￣︶￣)>

“don’t make me have to say it out loud”

trust

you don’t know how you did it so quickly,

maybe the gods are at your side, but you finally got thE seo changbin to trust you

2  weeks later

you’ve been tutoring changbin just the same

same time

same table

same library

however, so much has changed

mostly the dynamic of your guys’ relationship

it was like he was a totally different person

like I said before, changbin was smart

but in these last couple of days, you realized just how smart he actually was,

he can honestly probably give you a run for your money

and because of this, your past tutoring sessions have ended up with you guys just laughing and joking around

weird, right ?

changbin and laughing ?

who would’ve thought ??

even onlookers were surprised

and everytime changbin laughed at one of your guys’ silly antics, you swear you can hear a pin drop

the whole room just becomes silent

at first, it bothered you how people were just listening in to your conversation, obviously judging the scene

but as the days went by and it seemed that changbin could care less, you started not caring either

and if you were being completely honest, you looked forward to spending time with him

when changbin was with you, it was just you and changbin, nothing else

he somehow manages to make you forget about reality

“lets ditch tutoring sessions today,” he says as soon as he took the seat next to you

“changbin, no”

“c’mon y/n, live a little”

“excuse you! I do have a life!”

“making out with your homework and watching Netflix shows 24/7 is not a life”

“okAy, now you’re just being mean,” you say, pouting at him

“im not being mean, I’m being honest,”

“yeAH and?? no one asked for your honesty,”

changbin laughs at this

lately he found himself laughing more

and for once, he didn’t mind it

you were doing something to him

and he liked it

“cmon, I’m not taking no for an answer,” he says, packing up your things

you sigh in defeat

you know that once changbin sets his mind to something, there's no changing it

so here you are, standing in front of an abandoned music building

“uhhhh, what are we doing here?”

“have you ever trespassed before?” he replies, a smug smile on his face

“nu-uh nope, no way in hell changbin!” you say, your attempt to stop this from happening

however, changbin was already making his way towards the door, completely breaking the lock

aannnndd

he was inside  

“c’mon y/n,” he says reaching out his hand to yours

even though all you need to do is take two steps forward and you're officially a criminal

you were scared shitless

what happens if you get caught omg

almost like he was reading your mind, he quickly says, “y/n, ive been here over a million times and ive never gotten caught,”

“i dont know changbin”

“hm, thats too bad, i wanted to share a secret with you,” he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice before he stepped out of the building and made his way towards his motorcycle

but of course,,,

you being a nosy bitch

“wait,”

“yes?”

“lets go inside”

you guys enter the building, the rooms getting darker and darker the deeper you go (this building is huge okAY)

if you weren't shitting your pants before, you definitely are now 

an abandoned building???

and its dark???

youve seen this in every scary movie out there

it never goes well

“uhm changbin,” you whisper, as you guys continue to walk

“hm”

“i-um can i hold your hand? im scared and - actually you know what its fine its dumb you dont hav-”

but before you can even finish your sentence, his hand were already laced around yours, providing you the comfort and security that you were looking for

you shut your mouth after that, just letting changbin lead the way

passing by so many rooms, each one looking the same as the other, it was starting to feel like a maze

however , changbin seemed to know exactly where to go

‘I guess he has been here over a million times’ you thought to yourself

“were here,” he says, opening the door and letting go of your hands as he reached out for the lights

not gonna lie, you were missing the way his hand felt around yours but thats not the time to think about that

“a music room?” you asked, clearly puzzled

“yeah, you might not know this about me but i can spit barsss,” he says, letting out chuckle

“eyE”

“you dont believe me huh”

“absolutely not”

“ok, watch this”

and with that he entered the recording booth, of course not after he pressed a bunch of buttons

honestly , you have no idea what he’s doing

but as soon as he put the headphones on

*cue any 3racha song because im too indecisive to choose one*

he was,,

indeed,,,

spitting bars

you could not believe your ears

who the fuck is this

you stood there, stunned at the fact the he was rapping about real shit and not something stupid and meaningless (rip wow, she is meaNinGFUL to me okAY)

after he finished rapping, the room was absolute silent

changbin felt dumb, he thought you were gonna praise him but there you were not uttering a single word,

he need you to say something ,anything,, hell, you can even laugh

he’d prefer anything over the silence  

he’s literally the ‘i just showed u my dick pls respond’ meme but its like ‘i showed u my talent pls validate me’

avoiding to make eye contact with you, he walks out of the recording booth

sitting on the couch against the wall, he finally breaks the silence

“so yeah, thats a song my friends and i wrote, its stupid-”

“its not stupid.” you say quickly

“oh?”

“since when where you into this?” you ask, curiosity filling your eyes, taking the seat right next to him

“what do you mean? music?? everyone’s into music y/n” changbin retorts, not wanting to go into detail

“hhhh, you know what i mean changbin,”

changbin doesnt know why

but he wanted to share this side of him with you

maybe because you were the first person that he has ever allowed himself to be close with

or maybe it was because you stuck around him for this long, no one, besides chan and jisung were able to do that

whatever it was, he wants to keep you by his side

he figured that showing you his true self would do just that

so after having a battle with his inner thoughts, he finally says

“my dad was really into this stuff, he taught me everything i know,” changbin beamed

“oh! thats really cool, do you still make music with him?” you say, genuinely interested, youve never really heard about his dad before

“uhmm, hes not really around for me to do that,”

aaaannd,,, thats why,, god reader smh

“oh, im sorry,” you say softly, mentally slapping yourself

“no its okay, you didnt know….he passed away when i was 11”

“what happened?,,,, y-you dont have to tell me if you dont want to,” you quickly added

“I want to,” changbin says, reassuring you

“he just,,, he just died in his sleep, apparently it was a stroke,” sighing, he looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back his tears

“you must miss him,” you say, your voice still soft

for the first time since youve met changbin, he resembled a piece of glass

so fragile

he was giving you a piece of him, letting you see clearly a part of who he was

and all you wanna do is make sure that you won’t break that piece

“he built this studio...wanted to start his own music company,” he continued as you sat there just listening to him

“my mom hates it though, she stopped funding this place as soon as she can,”

oh

the mention of his mom suddenly brought you back to the deal that you have made 2 weeks ago

and god, you felt guilty

you were here, trying to change him, when nothing should be changed

sure seo changbin had a bad reputation but he is not bad

he’s just protective is all

to be honest, he was one of the kindest, gentlest soul you have met

“i promised myself that i would continue our dream, for him and me, but mostly for him,”

“i-is that why youre failing your classes?” you ask, everything finally piecing together

“huh?”

“you dont care about school because you already know what you want to do...where you want to be”

“hm, you truly are a smart girl y/n,” he says before nodding and flashing you a smile

those words

so similar to the ones his mom has given you

but this time you weren't in the mood to pat yourself in the back

because shit, this is thE dumbest thing you've ever done in your life

after hearing this, you made up your mind, you werent gonna partake in this deal anymore

if you were really as smart as everyone says, you can get into the school you want without any problem

sure it won't be free, but your mom aint working her ass off during her nightly shifts for nothing

and so, right when you go to school tomorrow, you were determined to end it

you’d still tutor changbin, you just won't accept any of the perks that came along with it

“thank you for sharing this with me,” you say genuinely, a smile creeping unto your face

“thank you for caring enough to listen,” changbin replies, his smile getting wider

and then it hits you,

“wait, so you mean to tell me that this is YOUR studio all along??”

and at this changbin lets out the loudest laugh

and you can't help but mirror his actions

1 week later

oof, that time jump, i thought you were gonna end it the next day reader

welp,,

you work hard, but somehow satan, aka the author, works harder

Mrs. Seo had to leave for two weeks, attending board meetings around the country, and whatever principals do,,, i'm too lazy to research what they actually do  

╥﹏╥

and so you spent another week, with seo changbin by your side

one week down, another to go

and when that day comes, you can finally freely hang out with him without all the guilt eating you up

this week you guys even hung out outside of the library

you’ve been with him so much, even your friends have started to notice it

“y/n, are you coming with us to the movies,” felix asks

“oh,, umm sorry guys, i cant,”

“who else are you gonna be with? i thought we were your only friends,” minho pointed out, a pout on his face  

“with changbin of course,” hyunjin hissed, obviously upset that you have been pushing them to the side  

“ i can hang out with anyone that i want,” you argued, really not having any of his attitude 

“ you shouldnt hang out with people like him,” hyunjin retorted

you scoffed, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i mean blink once if youre being held captive” hyunjin joked, as the rest of the table snickered

however, you didn't find it funny,

who were they to talk about changbin like that??

they didnt even know him

and so you stood up, leaving all your friends calling out for you

-------------

walking to the table, you flopped down on your chair, slamming your backpack on the floor

“what's got you in such a bad mood?” changbin asks

“nothing,” you huffed, getting your materials out of your backpack

you didn't want to tell changbin that your best friends think hes the devil himself and didn't want you around him

meanwhile , changbin was annoyed

it seems like he's shared so much with you since the music room yet he still barely knows anything about you

he wondered that maybe you didn't want to be in his life the way he wanted to be in yours

but fuck it, he’s just gonna spend the time he has with you enjoying it rather than filling his mind with negative thoughts

but damn, you're frown was really bothering him

“y/n,” he says, calling out to you

no response

“y/n,” he continues, poking you on the elbow

still no response

“y/n”

You sigh, looking up at him, an emotionless expression on your face, you responded with a strong, “what.”

*insert changbin doing aegyo*

and with that , you lost it

you were an absolute madman

you never expected that the one and only seo changbin

notorious badboy

would ever do aegyo

all because you had a stupid frown on yourself

you laughed so loud

changbin doing the same as soon as your melodic laugh hit his ears

which resulted to you guys being kicked out of the library

-------------

“ i cant believe you got me kicked out of my favorite place,” you say, seated in a booth inside the ice cream parlor near your guys’ school

another one of changbins ideas

“ hey its not my fault you laugh like a hyena!” he says smiling before you threw a curled up paper tissue at his face

a couple of seconds later, after your laughter has died down

“ so, you want to tell me now why you were in such a sour mood?”

you knew that if you werent gonna tell him now that would still end up finding out about it from someone else

and so you came clean

“ its just my friends,,,, they dont think youre a good influence, wants me to stop hanging out with you” you say

“ oh,”

“ but dont worry!, i didnt listen to them, i actually told them off,” you confessed

“ why didnt you listen to them? theyve been your friends longer than youve known me?” he asks

“ because they dont know you” you reply, “and im sure if they did, they would also be friends with you”

as much as he appreciated the way you stood up for him, he didnt want you going through all that trouble 

‘god, what did he even do to deserve an angel like you,’ changbin thinks to himself 

“ don't tell them off next time,” he grunted

“ wh-what?”

“ everything they say about me is true”

“ changbin, no its not”

“ honestly y/n it doesnt bother me so dont let it bother you”

“ why doesnt it bother you?” you ask, wanting to know the reason

“ because its high school. after this, literally no one would care anymore. and then real life starts, people move on and worry about bigger things, things that actually matter more than the status quo. let them say what they say.”

and just like every other time, changbin has left you stunned

the arrival of Ms. Seo - tuesday 

a week has passed since the ice cream parlor

and Ms. Seo was back in town

this was it

the day you finally put a halt to it

and you were beyond ready

you haven't seen changbin all day

you figured that since his mom was back then he was also back to avoiding the school like it was a plague

you entered Ms. Seos room, determined

“Ms. Seo -”

She puts a hand up to her lips, signaling you to be quiet

‘bitch omygod i literally cant keep doing this any longer,’

‘its already been over a month’

so you ignored her warning

“im not doing this deal anymore. I’ll still tutor changbin but I won’t change him,,,, and you can keep your stupid money,” you let out, releasing all the bottled up emotions

“is that all,”she replies

“yes”

“then you may leave”

what???

it was that easy????

you thought she was gonna stop you, force you to hold your end of the bargain

if you knew it would’ve been this easy then you wouldn’t have worried over it so much

but you don’t know a lot of things

and you certainly didnt know that changbin was on the other line

later that day

you’re seated in the library

usual place, usual time, waiting for the one and only seo changbin, yet he never showed

you didn’t think much of it

‘maybe he just forgot’ you tell yourself

the next day - wednesday

here you were again, waiting for him

still nothing

you try and think of reasons why he wouldn’t show up two days in a row and can really only think of one - maybe his mom told him that he didn’t need tutoring anymore?

but surely, he would tell you

right ???

sure you guys started off on the wrong foot but you were friends now

at least you thought so

you decided to just give him the benefit of the doubt

‘maybe he’s just busy’

2 days later - friday

you’ve tried everything you can do to get a hold of changbin

all your calls went straight to voicemail

texts were left on delivered

you didn’t even see him around school anymore

it was like your worlds never collided and he was never a part of yours

you were starting to get worried, what if he got himself into trouble

“look who decided to show her face,” hyunjin comments as you took the seat next to him

ever since the day you guys had your argument, you have never been able to talk to him about it

“im not in the mood,” you reply,

hyunjin sensing that you were exhausted,

“hey,” he says softly, “what’s wrong?”

“nothing”

“y/n please, we’ve been friends for over 3 years, you don’t need to lie to me”

“aren’t you mad at me?”

“no. im upset that you’ve been pushing us to the side for your little boy toy but im not mad,” he says giving you a soft smile

hhhhh, it was times like these you remember why he was your best friend

hyunjin was just so thoughtful, so caring

you return the smile he gave you as you pulled him in for a tight hug

“I’m sorry hyunjin”

“it’s okay, im sorry too, now tell me what’s wrong?”

“it’s just changbin-“

“I swear to god, if he even laid a finger on you he’s a dead man”

“no!” you say quickly putting an end to his assumption

“so what happened?” he asks, eyebrows going up in sheer curiosity

and then you told him

you told him about the deal with Ms. seo

about how your relationship with changbin changed along the way

how you ended the deal

and now we’re back to changbin and ignoring you

“damn, well have you tried actually going to him?”

“i wouldnt even know where -”

and then it hits you

the abandoned music building

“hyunjin, youre a genius!!!,” you say excitedly

“thanks, we been knew”

“ i have to go ill explain later, bye!!” you say, dashing out of there as fast as you could and made your way to the abandoned building

taking the bus there gave you time to reflect on everything that has happened this past couple month

how much your life has changed since changbin entered it

he pushed you to take risks, to live out of your comfort zone, to not care about other people’s opinions

he made you feel free

and most importantly, he made you happy

the good girl has fallen for the bad boy, i told yall this was gonna be cliche right?

continuing on

just as you  expected, the door was open

the dark didnt even bother you anymore, the only thing in your mind was changbin

oh,, where could he be??

could you ever find your way into this maze of a building and retrace the steps that he took when he was by your side?

as you got deeper and deeper into the building, you feel yourself start to get lost

‘fuck i already saw this door’

‘omg y/n did you really just walk in a circle’

and then you hear it

music, singing

your nightingale

you walk faster, desperate to get to the voice

and here you are now, face to face with the one and only, seo changbin

he stops singing as soon as he saw you walk in

“hey,” you whisper out yet he continued to just stand there, not uttering a single word

“your voice is really pretty, i didnt know you could sing!-”

“what do you want?” his voice, dark and firm just like the day you first met him

This caught you off guard

Did you do something wrong?

“Did i do something wrong?” you say, not aware that you have said your thoughts out loud

changbin chuckles but it was so uninviting, like he was taunting you

“ please, drop the act”

?????

“what?” you reply, completely confused

“ you dont like me ”

“ changbin, what?”

“ you're just like everyone else”

“ changbin i really dont understand pl-”

“ i shouldn't have trusted you.”

“ what?!??, no changbin, you can trust me! just tell me whats wrong!”

all the while, you guys were still talking with a glass between the two of you

ironic, since you felt like a wall has been planted around changbin and you cant reach him  

“ you think i should change”

“ no”

“ what do you mean no? I heard you y/n! I heard what you told my mom, i heard about the stupid deal, the stupid money!”

(⊙…⊙,)

“ changbin, let me explain”

“ i know im known as the bad boy y/n, but you… youre even worse than me”

“ changbin.”

“ youre a monster”

and with hearing those words, the tears that you have been so desperately trying to keep just bursted out like a waterfall

changbin too, has let out his tears

and all we got now are two broken people who can clearly see each other yet are still on opposite sides of the glass

“ you're just like everyone out there that you have resented, you judged me by other people’s words, i thought- i thought that i can finally found someone i could open up to but you never even gave me chance from the beginning”

you let him talk without interrupting him

you deserved the ache you were feeling in your heart

everything he said was true

and with that he breaks down, straight to the floor, back against the wall, hugging his knees

and all you could do was watch, until you couldn't take it anymore

you finally entered the recording booth , taking a seat on the floor right next to him, mimicking his broken figure

“im sorry”

silence

you looked up at the ceiling as you sighed

he deserves an explanation

“ yes, i took the deal, but that's because i thought i needed it changbin. I may be smart, but financially my family isn't doing well. my mom already works extra shifts but it still won't be enough. my dad isnt even in the picture, i dont know where the hell he is”

and with this, changbins head slowly perks up, looking at you with his glass-like eyes, as you continued to stare at the ceiling

you were finally opening up to him

just like how he has been doing

“ i took the deal because, you’re right, i judged you, i was stupid and i never expected us to actually be friends, clearly i was wrong. you have taught me so much. you have pushed me into doing things i never thought i could do. you made me see the world in a different way.”

he’s still just listening to you when you finally took your eyes away from the ceiling and faced him

“ i understand if you dont want to see me anymore but i cant leave you knowing that i never got to say this,” you continue, afraid of the results that were about to come

“ what else are you hiding from me?” he says, but this time, he says it softly, the furious changbin that you have encountered just minutes ago was completely gone

“ i think im in love with you,” you say, quickly looking down, embarrassed at your confession

“ y/n look at me,”

“ i dont want to”

“ why?”

“ i know you're gonna break my heart”

“ you broke mine first,” and with that he lifted your chin up, making you look him straight into his eyes before kissing you

this kiss was different from your first one

it was slow but passionate, filled with all of the unsaid words between the two of you

your guys lips both slightly chapped from all the crying

yet his lips still felt like the softest pair against yours

pulling away, changbin leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed

yours were open though, taking the sight all in before you pulled away, wiping away his left over tears

“ god, were a mess,” he finally says out loud, before he pulled you in a tight hug 

“ im sorry,” you say again

“ i’ll forgive you if you promise to continue tutoring me?”

“ what ?”

“ continue the deal, get the money”

“ changbin, i really don't want to do that”

“ i know you dont. but we have to finesse my mom somehow,” he says, bursting into a smile, clearly joking

…

..

“eYE,,, i cannot believe you right now! You can't be serious!”

“ but i am. go back into her office tell her you’ll continue it and get the money for your education.”

“changbin! stop joking! I already feel bad about it!”

“Okay fine i just like it when you tutor me okay, its kinda sexy” he says

playfully slapping him, you guys laugh, the tension in the air finally gone

“ you know if you didnt buy me those eggs, we wouldnt be here by now,” you say, a small smile on your face

“ hmm, and why?”

“ because those eggs were the first time i realized that the most notorious bad boy, the one and only Seo Changbin, can also be soft,”

“ do not use my name and soft in the same sentence ever again,”

“ what are you gonna do about it?” you reply, taunting him

and so

he pulled you into another kiss

and another

and another

until a series of laughter coming from the both of you interrupted it

“im glad i bought you those eggs”

hhhhhhh this ending is so rushed and so bad i just didnt wanna leave it unfinished 

ALSO IM SEEING STRAY KIDS BITCHES!!!!!,,,,,, MY SEAT HELLA FAR BUTS ITS OKAY BECAUSE ILL STILL BE THERE ╭(′▽`)╭(′▽`)╯

[greettheworld]

Chapter 2: “Green”

A/N: How about we end it on a lighter note.

You can also read it on AO3 ❤❤❤❤

Fourth period: Cyrus and TJ are in the same class. Since he was feeling disconsolate, Cyrus withdrawn from meeting Buffy, Andi & Jonah the entire day, and went straight to his classes.

As he entered the classroom, he noticed he was the first one there. He went to his usual seat and slumped over, nervous of what will happen when TJ arrives. Cyrus rested his palms on his cheeks, covering his face. He felt cold sweat permeate throughout his entire body. He immediately knew what was happening. “You need to calm down,” he thought to himself.

The bell rang. The ringing was never loud enough that it would bother Cyrus - not this time. It was pretty much the same as any other time of any other day, but this time, it made him irate. He impulsively started tapping his desk with his sweat covered fingers. His breath was short and staggered. He watched the doors as his classmates entered the room, waiting for a certain someone to arrive.

After a minute or so, TJ entered the room. Usually, the two of them would sit together, so Cyrus waited for TJ to sit beside him. As Cyrus observed TJ walking closer, he noticed the boy return a glance, but immediately diffused. TJ continued walking, passed on his usual seat, surprising Cyrus. TJ continued walking to the back of the room. He angrily signalled another kid to switch seats with him. Intimidated, the other kid obliged.

As the class continued, Cyrus became more agitated and irate. Despite trying his hardest, couldn’t focus to a single word the teacher was saying. This is the first time he felt this bad.

Cyrus kept looking back at TJ, hoping something would happen. Even a scoff from TJ would’ve been enough, but alas, it was as if he wasn’t there, which for Cyrus, felt worse.

For what felt like hours, finally, the class ended. It was time for lunch break. Cyrus zoomed out of the room, immediately looking for his friends. Fortunately, he came across Buffy on her way to the cafeteria.

“Cyrus!” Buffy exclaimed. “What’s happened?”

“It’s kinda hot, you know?” Cyrus replied, still panting. “Why did they turn the heater so high?”

Buffy didn’t believe a word he just said. He forced Cyrus to sit by the table, trying to calm him down while they waited for Andi and Jonah to arrive.

“Did you, by any chance, bring any spare shirt?” Buffy asked, worried about Cyrus’s sweat-drenched shirt.

Cyrus shook his head.

After a few minutes, Andi and Jonah arrived together. They immediately got concerned when they say Cyrus. “What happened?” Andi asked.

“I had a panic attack in the middle of class,” he said quietly.

“Why?” Buffy asked. “Did something happen?”

Cyrus closed his eyes and, again, shook his head. The three of them let it go and just accepted the answer.

“Here,” Andi said as she reached inside her bag. “You need to change your shirt.”

She pulled out a green hoodie and offered it to Cyrus. He noticed that Andi was wearing a red hoodie with a large “A” on it, while Jonah wore a blue one.

Cyrus was a little hesitant - he wanted to continue wearing the shirt, but in the end, he grabbed the hoodie and thanked Andi. He immediately went to the bathroom to change.

Cyrus returned to the table, wearing his new hoodie. He decided to open up to his friends about the panic attack, or, more specifically, why he thinks it happened. “Im-” he paused. “I’m jealous.”

Everyone looked at him in shock and confusion.

“What do you mean?” Jonah asked.

“Jealous of who?” Andi followed up.

Then a certain someone caught Cyrus’s attention. TJ passed by them, walking with Kira. Buffy noticed what was happening, and then she was able to piece it together.

“This is about TJ, isn’t it?” Buffy asked.

Cyrus deeply sighed and nodded. “Why would he be jealous of TJ?” Jonah asked.

Buffy glared at him for missing the obvious. “He’s not jealous OF TJ,” Buffy spelt it out.

Both Andi and Jonah was then got it. “Oh…” they said in unison.

“They were supposed to be wearing partnered costumes together,” Buffy said. “...but Cyrus here didn’t tell TJ about our supposed group costume. TJ gave him his shirt yesterday, hoping they can wear theirs today.”

Cyrus continued, “I didn’t really wanna make you mad, so I told him I’ll do Mount Rushmore with you guys instead, and he just walked away.”

“But I canceled last minute,” Andi said. “So you wore what TJ gave you instead.”

Cyrus nodded. “I tried calling him to talk, but he wasn’t answering his phone.”

“I feel bad because it’s partly my fault,” Andi admitted. “I should’ve told you guys about it sooner.”

“How do you wanna make it up for him?” Jonah asked.

“I don’t know,” Cyrus said. “He hasn’t acknowledged me the entire morning.”

“It angers me that he ignores YOU of all people,” Buffy said, pretending to get mad. “I’m sure he feels bad as much as you do,” she said sympathetically.

-

After school, Cyrus decided to pass by the swings at the park. He wanted to swing out his feelings before going home.

As he was walking, he noticed TJ, alone, slouched on a bench shaded by a tree. His eyes was closed while his head was facing upwards. Cyrus walked closer and closer, but TJ was still. He sat beside TJ, thinking this is a perfect opportunity to talk to him.

TJ opened his eyes, and leveled his head. He felt someone beside him - he looked to his left. He saw Cyrus, looking straight at him. For a moment, the two them just stared at each other, motionless.

“Can we talk?” Cyrus started to speak. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“You could’ve just been honest to me,” TJ said. “Or a no would’ve worked too.”

“If you want me to be honest: You’re the first person, aside from Andi and Buffy, to ask me to partner costumes with - that’s a big deal for me,” Cyrus said. “So when you asked me, I couldn’t be happier. I would never say no to that.”

TJ softened up after hearing him out. He just nodded in reply.

Through pure impulse, Cyrus rested his head on TJ’s shoulder. The latter looked at him.

“I’m sorry for getting mad.”

Cyrus just shook his head.

“I was being selfish,” TJ said.

“At least you got to partner with someone in the last minute.”

“It was her idea. I hate it though.”

“Are you guys…” Cyrus paused for a moment. “Are you guys dating?”

TJ rested his head on Cyrus’s and closed his eyes again. “No.”

The two sat there quietly taking in the moment.

“How you feeling?” TJ asked. “You were restless during class.”

“I’m fine now.”

“May I know what happened?”

“I had a panic attack in the middle of class.”

Tj raised his head. “Why didn’t you tell Mr. Miller?”

“I didn’t want to bother anyone.”

“What it because of me?”

Cyrus raised his head and looked at TJ. “That’s very pretentious of you,” Cyrus accused, smiling. “I just never thought of you getting mad at me. It made me felt agitated.”

“Sorry,” TJ apologized. “It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“And I’ll be more honest next time.”

The two of them stood up from the bench. TJ reached out both of his hand. “Friends?”

Cyrus slowly stepped closer. He wrapped his arms around TJ’s chest, squeezing him tightly. “Friends,” he replied. The other reciprocated and eventually his arms were also around Cyrus. They both took a deep breath before letting go.

They looked at each other again, and smiled.

“Spoon?” TJ invited. “My treat.”

Cyrus , elated, smiled and shrugged.

With TJ closely beside him, the two of them gleefully went on their way.

[notquitejiraiya]

Chess [17] - {ShikaTema AU}

Despite all odds, and thinking I wouldn’t have got inspired to do it, here is Chapter17; brought to you on New Years Day as I planned :)

I dedicate this (which I never do) to the badass people who I’ve only spoken to a little bit, but have been so damn kind about my work and are just great people.

Enjoy :)

[Read / Comment on AO3 Here]

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Nothing could quite compare to how Temari felt in this exact moment, nor could she relate any experience in her life to the underlying fear that had resonated since Saturday night; that ever-present pang of hurt that clung to her chest and send shivers down her spine.

Gaara, as expected, had been as helpful as he could be. When she got home, after the false smiles and tired eyes played well in front of Kankuro, she made a beeline for his room, and found him sat in bed, reading as he waited. There he had sat, looking at her with a gaze that was equal parts exhausted and excited, but it took only one proper look at her for his arms to open up. And, obviously, she ran to him.

All she’d done was explained. The evening had been pleasant, despite the fact that he was late, and very much despite the fact that he wasn’t willing to give her up as a therapist. She was not going to be any use to him anymore—she must’ve told Gaara that a hundred times over, but nothing seemed to make him speak. As always, her little brother sat and listened intently, holding her close until she eventually calmed down and fell asleep in his arms. When she’d woken up he was on the floor with a blanket and a pillow, his red hair spread messy, and she couldn’t help smiling. He was definitely her big brother at heart.

Both Sunday and Monday had been days of false smiles and hiding, reading every file but his in an attempt to recollect her thoughts and not be useless, but every road felt like it lead back to him. Every phrase that fell from a patient’s mouth felt inferior, and, while on the Monday she had her first patient who was ready to stop coming to see her, she felt no fulfilment.

She thought knowing him had been making her happy, but now she felt almost nothing at all.

But that whole time had been leading up to this moment. For two days she’d been waiting to hear that door click, torturing herself by reading his file over today’s lunchtime, and trying her absolute best to keep up with everything people said to her. Without a doubt, though, she had never felt more on edge in her life, and she stared at the doorknob, just waiting for it to turn.

As the metal glinted as it moved, Temari wanted nothing more than to hide away behind her desk or disappear away, never to return. Instead she braced herself, took a deep breath, and desperately searched for a positive in the situation.

Three-fifty-four, she noted the time. He’s early for once.

“Hi,” she mumbled, forcing a smile.

“Hi. Sorry.”

“Come sit down,” she instructed, adjusting her position on her chair. “Are you, um, doing alright today?”

All Shikamaru could do in response was nod, rubbing his neck nervously as he stepped closer. “Well, this is awkward.”

“It’s not!” she lied. “So have you had any problems since Friday?”

It was his turn to lie, shaking his head.

“Really? None?”

And again. “No.”

“How’re your family?”

Suddenly there was a smile on his face, and she could feel herself getting riled up; confused by it’s appearance. “You’ve got no idea how to talk to me now, have you?”

Temari gulped, her palms sweating. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“This is horrible,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “It feels like we’ve never even met before.”

“That’s what I was going for. You were the one who said forget about everything, Shikamaru. I’m forgetting it.”

“I didn’t mean forget how to be a normal human being.” Shikamaru sighed, sitting back into the sofa and biting his lip as his eyes looked everywhere but at hers. “I meant go back to before what happened—I meant be yourself, Tem.”

“Temari,” she argued, correcting him. “And that’s difficult, given that I knew this would happen and yet you just had to come back.”

“Tem—”

“And now I can’t help you.”

The spark that was fighting to stay alive in his eyes suddenly went out, and his arms folded across his chest, sloppy like a ragdoll. His gaze flew towards the window, and like a statue he was at once immovable.

Temari felt a lump in he throat. “Shall I grab the board?”

He didn’t move.

“Okay then, shall I just go fuck myself?”

She thought she saw that slight smile wriggle its way back onto his lips, but when she blinked it was gone. “Why don’t you just ask me about Asuma?” he mumbled. “You were on a fucking roll on Friday until I stopped you.”

“Your teacher?” She frowned. “Is there more for you to say about him? You already covered a lot of it then.”

He laughed, humourlessly. “Forget it then, jeez.” She could see his eyeballs flickering side to side, lulling closer to closing as he watched the clouds. “It’s as if you’ve forgotten your job.”

The recurring desire to punch him was crawling back to her, stronger than it ever had. “My job, Shikamaru is to help you understand yourself, and to make you feel better. And, to be really honest with you, right now I have no idea how to do that whatsoever.”

“Brilliant.”

“Will you just shut up?” she shouted, burying her face in her palms.

Shikamaru could see just from the whiting of her knuckles out of the corner of his eyes how uncomfortable she was, and the sharpness of her voice wasn’t something he was used to. Why had he at any point thought that this was going to be different from this? Did any sane part of him really think that she wouldn’t be mad at him in some way, shape or form? Of course he didn’t, so why was he so surprised that she was upset, infuriated. She almost looked broken, and the same insane part of him that was so riddled with hopeful denial wanted nothing more than to mend her somehow.

But, then again, she was Temari—from what she’d told him she was the strongest person she knew. Surely some stupid skinny asshole hadn’t shattered that person to a nervous wreck. She wasn’t like him; or, at the very least, he didn’t want to think that she felt at all like he did right now.

“Temari, I’m sorry, I—”

“I don’t want you to apologise to me. I don’t want you to even mention it.” Her eyes, bloodshot and angry stood in agreement, but Shikamaru couldn’t help thinking they didn’t give the whole picture.

He leant forward in his seat, hands locked together between his knees. His gaze turned solely on her, desperately trying not to waver and determined to not look away again. “I’m sorry I came back.”

“I just cannot believe I called you selfless, Shikamaru. You’ve come back here purely for yourself, like you don’t realise how genuinely hard this is for me to continue with!”

“We went on one date…”

“Which was one too many, Shikamaru! I—” She stopped herself abruptly, lowering her voice to a whisper. “I almost fucking kissed you!”

He gulped, eyes falling to the floor.

“I’m sorry. Did you actually want to talk about Asuma?”

“If you want me to. If it helps me get better then sure,” he mumbled, nodding.

“That’s so important to you, isn’t it? Getting better.” Her voice was almost bitter, but she masked it well with her soft smile. “That overrides everything.”

Shikamaru’s shoulders drooped. “I mean, obviously it’s important to me, but I wouldn’t say it ‘overrides everything’.”

“So, if you were to have the chance to do something that would make you genuinely happy but it would stop you getting better, you’d do it?”

He raised his head again, shaking his head with the most surprising smile yet. “I know exactly what you’re saying. My IQ is through the roof remember.”

“I never said anything about—”

“But I know that’s you’re saying. I know what can make me better, and I will do it. When I’m better I can do the things I want to do…”

It was Temari’s turn to feel her stomach fill with guilt. Despite the anger that rushed through her body, and the insane temperature at which her blood was boiling, for reasons she couldn’t quite pin down, she suddenly felt herself go cold at the sight of his smile. Not calm—no she was definitely still infuriated with him—but genuinely chilled. So many times she had looked at him and seen nothing but his usual melancholic veil of false calm, having no idea what was really happening under than dark hair and what was really inside his heart. Never had she known exactly what he was going to say; she just wasn’t able to pin him down like that.

Until now, because, strangely, he could feel it herself. So many things at once, rushing around; always taking blame and never placing it for so many unforgotten mistakes and could-have been moments, trapped in a loop of hostility towards himself that made his fingers tap anxiously…she could see it all. And, despite all her instincts as a therapist, she couldn’t bear to watch anymore.

“Most of them, anyway,” he added finally, one corner of his mouth raising, as if to convince her he was okay, really.

It didn’t work.

“I’m sorry. I never should’ve agreed to go out with you.”

Shikamaru shook his head, a deep frown carved into his expression. “Stop it. You have nothing to apologise for.”

“But, I—”

“You’re only trying to help me,” he acknowledged. “It’s my fault that I’m back here, and it’s my fault that I’ve painted myself with an extra layer of pain every hour since Saturday, and I’ve kept adding to it; checking my phone, almost calling you, almost calling here yesterday. I know its entirely my own fault, and yet I can’t shake it off.” He let out a huge sigh, squeezing his eyes shut as his head shook, trying to displace his thoughts. “I just can’t fix it.”

As she watched him haul himself to his feet, zipping up his hoodie blind, Temari felt her boots violently hit the ground and soon she, too, was on her feet, making a beeline for him. When she’s turned the corner of her desk, her hips swaying rapidly as she sped walked, she reached out to grab his arm, but his eyes flew open, and he stepped back, crossing them across his chest.

“Don’t.”

“Shikamaru—”

“Don’t, it’s fine,” he whispered, trying to stop himself listening to his own words. “I won’t come back.”

Temari was too frozen by far too many emotions to move a muscle, and so she watched hopelessly as the young man paced towards the door—faster than she’d ever seen him walk—lingering with his fingers on the door handle. She thought, maybe, that he’d look up. Or maybe he’d turn and give her one final smile—one last hurrah.

Silently he nodded once, and twisted the knob, leaving as silently as he’d entered. It took seconds for Temari to collapse on the sofa he’d just been sat on, perturbed by the warmth of spot he’d just been in, and pull her phone from her pocket. Quickly, swallowing all of her emotions and whatever pride she had left, she dialled her most called number and listened to the beeps of it ringing, and ringing, and ringing…

“Gaara,” she said to the answerphone, not caring whether he listened now or in three hours, just desperate to speak to someone or something. “Please say you’re going to the pub quiz tonight with trenchcoat-guy. I really want to come—hell I’ll even pay for your drinks, just let me come. Please!” She was aware how painful her begging was, so after a long, deep breath, she uttered the real truth, “I just really need a bloody drink.”

Outside, at the bus stop in the pouring rain, a young man put his phone to his ear and uttered very similar words. “Choji,” he sighed down the phone, “please tell me you can meet me tonight?”

“Man, I’ll be at work from six onwards, but Ino’s probably free if—”

“I’ll come. I need you, man.” He did, and his friend’s vague company would be better than loneliness tonight. He couldn’t do it tonight.

~~~

Temari knew that every other Tuesday her youngest brother would come to the pub, drink with his friends, and play some quiz she’d never considered taking part in. What she didn’t know was that said brother was really, really good at it. And, while that inevitably made her feel a bit stupid and a little more downtrodden given the day she’d already had, it definitely had it perks. Perks which consisted of a lot of free drinks for winning each round.

The clock had barely struck ten and she was convinced at this point that she’d drunk a bucket’s worth of cocktails. Never had she considered herself a cocktail person—she had always been a ‘beer-out-of-the-can’ kind of girl, with the odd gin-and-tonic of someone else could be bothered to make her one. So, unsurprisingly, the pitchers of cocktails their quiz team had one, and she had drunk, had gone straight to her head.

Temari could hold her alcohol with the big guns—she could out-drink Kankuro any day—but this was dangerous. These drinks tasted like fruit juice, and they just kept on coming. She was smart, and underneath the fuzziness and slurring, she was perfectly aware that this was not going well.

And, for once, she didn’t give a shit.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, did.

He’d spotted her the second she walked in, hiding expertly underneath his scarf so she didn’t notice him, and ever since he had been sat, hidden behind a pillar, hoping that she’d never leave her seat—never see him. She had as much right to be here as him, and yet he knew if she saw him she would get up and leave. Or, at least, she would’ve.

He hadn’t join in with the quiz, although Choji had violently urged him that he should, telling him he could get crisps or juice instead of the drinks they gave to winners if he just asked.

“Look,” he said as Shikamaru peered over at the blonde drinking some fantasy-coloured drink through a draw, “you can join in anytime. You’ll ace it if you do!”

“Choji,” he argued, “I didn’t come to play a game and eat crisps. I came to be with my mate and not be alone. If I’m going to feel sad anywhere, I may as well feel sad in a room full of noisy strangers.”

His friend had to stop himself reaching across the bar to hug him. “I’m sorry I have to work, man.”

“It’s fine. Just get me a drink.”

“Orange juice again?”

“No.” Shikamaru shook his head, biting on his lip. “Give me whiskey. Double.”

Choji’s eyes widened, and his forehead creased into a worried frown. “Man, I really don’t think you want to—”

“Choji…”

“The most you’ve drunk since you were eighteen is half a pint of weak-ass beer,” he winced, “and we all know you don’t enjoy drinking.”

Shikamaru fished out a five pound note and held it out to him. “God, you’re a pain. Keep the change, now come on.”

“Shikamaru, you don’t want this. You’ll hate me tomorrow.”

“I said double, Choji.”

The blank stare he sent his friend’s way was enough to make Choji feel as if he’d lost a war, and he could feel the pit of his stomach growing emptier as he looked into the bleak abyss of Shikamaru’s eyes. He was going to ask what had happened but now, as he unwillingly lifted the transparent bottle and measured the liquor as required, he didn’t have the nerve. Something about the lifeless urgency in the voice of his best friend made him feel broken, and after he thought it was all getting better, too.

He snatched the money and put the glass before Shikamaru. “If it weren’t for the fact that my manager is really specific with the ‘refusal of service’ rule, you would not be getting this. You’re an idiot.”

“Love you, too,” sighed Shikamaru, swirling the glass around.

“I thought you wanted to get better Shikamaru,” growled Choji, shaking his head, “but then you do this and just let yourself regress. I swear to God if it’s that girl—”

“It’s not her.” He knocked back the drink, squeezing his eyes shut. “Man, I forgot how shit that tastes.”

Choji only had to take one look at his blank slate of a face to know what was happening. “You’re going to bloody order another one, aren’t you?”

“And I thought you quit your day job as a psychic.”

The sarcasm didn’t even begin to amuse Choji, who shook his head and failed to find words. Only after he’d been called to help someone, minutes of staring at his expectant looking friend later, that he managed to speak. “Fine. But I’m not playing any part in it; ask someone else.”

Shikamaru frowned. “Choji, come on.”

“No,” his friend called back as he walked to the other end of the bar. “I can’t do it.”

After only a couple of minutes of longingly waiting for Choji to come back and throw in the towel, Shikamaru could feel himself falling into that familiar feeling of glee. Unfortunately, he knew it wasn’t real—sadly for his wallet one double wasn’t enough to fool him into genuinely feeling happy—hence the need for another. It had been so long since he’d allowed himself to do this. On occasions he’d always have one half and it would last him the whole night, and it would make him feel like he fitted in.

But this was no occasion; this was a desperate avoidance tactic, and he knew it. She was over there—the one person he simultaneously wanted to stare at the whole night and never wanted to see again—and he was painfully aware of it. He didn’t want to be aware of it.

He’d been to enough sessions with enough asshole therapists to know what he was doing, and he didn’t care—he didn’t care at all. There she’d been, suggesting to him that he was really only devoted to getting better, not feeling happy, and now he just wanted to scream, “Look at me!” until she took it back; until she took him back and rewired him as promise, fixed him as promised…

Of course, he didn’t do that. He couldn’t be bothered to do that. Instead he waved down the smiley brunette girl behind the bar and got himself the same again, and necked it instantly, forcing a smile at her afterwards when ordering another.

But the longer he sat there, the smaller he felt. It was like when he first did this, years ago, and it wasn’t washing over him the way he expected, the way he craved. Suddenly the bar stool he perched on felt to high, and his neck felt too cold, so he threw on his coat and hopped down, drinking that last whiskey and rubbing his eyes. He couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Choji, and he couldn’t go home or else his mother would yell at him for drinking after so long of holding back.

Choji was right, no matter how much he’d deny it out loud. This was all because of her, that troublesome woman. Through nobody’s fault but his own he’d built her up as this fantasy saviour; the beautiful woman who cared about him no matter what, in a way he’d never even imagined before. And as much as he’d laugh off the ridicule from his friends about his many lonesome years, he really had never thought of anyone like that. Before this—this bizarre, impossible to pin feeling—he’d never wanted to spend time with someone just for the sake of it, and he’d never wanted to listen to someone talk about nothing like he did her.

“This is it, isn’t it?” he mumbled, so quiet he could barely hear himself. “She’s got me.”

He couldn’t leave, but he could hide from her until she left, and from Choji until the whiskey ran it’s course. And where could he hide in this pub that she was guaranteed not to go? Well, there was only one place that came to mind.

However, in his slightly drunken state as he shuffled towards his destination, the first thing Shikamaru had managed to forget that Temari still had eyes, no matter how blurry their vision was, and obviously she spotted him immediately. Stumbling to her feet, she told Gaara she was just nipping to the bathroom, and took her bag with her, slung haphazardly across her shoulder.

The second thing he forgot was that she definitely had the nerve to follow him into the men’s bathroom, and that he definitely wasn’t safe from her in there.

So, when she edged open the bathroom door, as subtly as a drunk woman can, and found him smoking next to a half opened window, she fumbled for the latch at the top of the door, locking it quickly. “You don’t drink my ass.”

Numbed, Shikamaru turned slowly, frowning in surprised. “T-Temari? What’re you—”

“You didn’t actually want to go out with me, did you?” She slurred her words into what almost sounded like three long words, and immediately Shikamaru realised he wasn’t nearly as drunk as thought he was; or as he wanted to be.

“What are you talking about?” he sighed, exasperated.

“That’s why you didn’t make any effort to impress me. You didn’t want to did you?”

Shikamaru couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness, tapping his cigarette out of the window and letting the ash fly into the wind. “Of course I wanted to,” he insisted. “I’m just useless, Tem.”

She blinked expectantly at him, shaking her head constantly. “Bullshit.”

“Temari…”

“Temari, what?” she laughed, clearly unamused as she waved her arms about dramatically. “Temari, I’m sorry I’m a miserable git. Temari, I’m sorry I lied to you. Temari, I’m sorry I made you fancy me.”

He rubbed his eyes with one hand and took a drag with the other, strategically blowing the smoke through the window. Nothing was coming to mind to respond to her—nobody had ever silenced him in the way she did, cornered him like she did, terrified him like she did.

And he almost craved it.

Trying his best to smile, he squished the butt of his cigarette on the windowsill and left it there, turning to look at her. She looked all the more beautiful tonight, but something deep within the dark depths of the subconscious he loathed so much was telling him that was due to the alcohol in both their systems, and the rosy cheeks hers had graced her with.

With all her could muster, Shikamaru leant against the wall next to the window, hands in the pocket of his coat, before he finally opened his mouth to tell the brutal truth, “Temari, I’m sorry I couldn’t bare the idea of not seeing you again.”

Yeah, right, he mused inside his mind. As if she’s going to remember that tomorrow.

Suddenly, unexpected to him, Temari dropped her bag and advanced on him, walking in jagged lines—intense zig-zags—and he could feel his knees begin the shake. “What the hell are you doing, Tem?”

“You didn’t get it, did you?” she asked, pulling one hand from his pocket and placing it on her waist.

Gulping, Shikamaru tried his best to remove it and stay calm, but every time he almost escaped her loosening grip she grabbed his hand tighter. In the end he just kept it there, and stared into her gorgeous teal eyes with the most passive desperation. “What?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips centimetres away from his. “Why I asked you to stop seeing me as a patient.”

When she bit her lip, despite all his attempts, Shikamaru felt his knees quiver more and more. “I, um,” he mumbled, voice managing to remain steady despite his body’s weakness. “I think I need to go find your brother, and—”

“No, please don’t,” begged Temari, her nose brushing against his so delicately.

There was no denying that he wanted to hold her, and he wanted to kiss her, just as she was clearly attempting. He couldn’t lie to himself and say he hadn’t had a sleepless night wondering what the hell would’ve happened if the other night this had happened instead of their sad reality. But he didn’t want it like this.

He could only just smell the floral notes of her perfume, over the alcohol that plagued the air, and while she smelt of sweet tropical juice rather than anything evenly mildly bad, he couldn’t change the truth: they were drunk, and he didn’t want it to happen this way.

“Temari,” he whispered. “Tem, are you paying attention?”

She hummed softly, her forehead flush against his now.

“We can’t do this, love.”

A soft moan fell from her lips, and the hairs on the back his neck stood on end. “Why not?” she whined.

“Because we’ll regret it,” he sighed, himself a little upset by the fact.

“I-I won’t,” insisted Temari, stubborn as ever.

“You will,” Shikamaru corrected, smiling slightly as he pushed her away. “Can I borrow your phone?”

She frowned and held onto his shoulders for support as she stumbled backwards. “Why?”

“I just want to let your brother know you’re okay.”

It took a long time of him standing with his hand out expectantly, but eventually Temari caved with a smirk and handed him her phone. While she wasn’t quite sure why she couldn’t have just done that, she didn’t question him. Probably because in that exact moment, she wasn’t quite sure about anything.

“There,” he mumbled, biting his lip as he handed it back. “I told him you’re getting some air and will probably make your own way home.”

“He won’t be fine with that.”

Buzz.

She looked down at her phone and the text message that appeared on the screen.

Gaara: Fine. See you later :)

“Okay, maybe he will,” groaned Temari, “but where the hell are we going?”

Shikamaru shrugged, hands in pockets as he watched, amused, as she tried to slot her phone into her bag. “I can take you home?”

“And risk Kankuro punching you?” she cackled laughing.

“Then that’s a no.”

“Take me home with you.”

He almost choked on his own spit. “What?”

“Please,” she whined. “Take me home with you.”

“No!”

“Why?”

“Because you’ll wake up in the night and punch me.” He could hear himself, and the melodrama he was spouting, but he still didn’t sound worried, as such.

“Then where?”

Shikamaru bit down on his lip and accepted the arm she slung around his shoulders. “I have an idea.”

~~~

“No.”

“But Choji,” he pleaded, this time taking the role of the whining one, “neither of us can go home.”

Choji shook his head. “I’m not giving you whiskey and letting you bang your therapist in the same night. I already feel like a shit friend as it is.”

“I’ve sabotaged myself here, man,” insisted Shikamaru. “And I promise we won’t do that. I just want to make sure she has somewhere to sleep, man.”

“She has a house!”

“Where she’ll talk about me and then everyone will feel even more shit than already.” He raised his eyebrows. “Man, I didn’t ask for her to follow me into the bathroom.”

Surprised, Choji’s mouth fell open. “She didn’t?”

“Yeah, she’s smashed.”

“She needs to go home.”

Shikamaru nodded, sighing.

“You’re still drunk, aren’t you?”

“Only with the words, man. Brain is doing fine.”

Choji raised his eyebrows and smiled at his friend, pulling him in for a hug, which Shikamaru begrudgingly accepted. “If you hug me back you can have the keys to my flat?”

The thinner man hugged tighter than he ever had.

“They’re in my coat out back. Use that door.”

Shikamaru smirked. He had a true friend in this guy, and he found out as much more every single day.

~~~

Temari sighed, throwing her spoon into the plastic bowl Shikamaru had given her and fell back into the couch. “I can’t believe we’re literally above a fish and chip shop and you didn’t let me buy any.”

“You shouted at the guy that you would ‘kiss in return for fish’.”

“Damn right I did,” she laughed.

Shikamaru chuckled. “And I thought I was the asshole.”

“You definitely are.”

“Tem, I just cooked you pasta at, like, twelve-a.m.”

“You’re right,” nodded Temari. “You’re a saint.”

He looked over at her and smiled, almost sadly. Choji’s flat was very small, a room with a bed and a wardrobe, and another with a small kitchen and a couch, but Temari had made herself right at home. He couldn’t help but admire how she did that. Not taking into account the fact that she was drunk out of her mind, he also couldn’t believed the way she was slowly sinking towards him, arms wrapping around him.

“You’re wonderful, Maru.”

His eyebrows raised. “Maru. New one.”

Temari looked up, hurt. “You don’t like it.”

“I don’t care,” he mumbled. “You go ahead.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, tracing patterns on his chest through his shirt. “You’re really wonderful.”

“You said.” If you couldn’t see inside his head, you’d have thought he was fed up of hearing that brilliant sentence. “You should go to sleep, Tem,” he added, changing the subject.

“I was stupid to make you feel so small. I made you feel like shit, didn’t I?”

“You didn’t,” he lied, letting her position his arms to hold her. “Just get some rest.”

“You’re wonderful, you know?”

Shikamaru smiled, the most real and fulfilling smile he’d had in a long time. “So are you, Tem. So are you…”

[sollea]

Kingdom Hearts Mermaids AU Characters: Lea, Isa, Sora, Riku Relationship: LeaIsa, (non-mentioned) SoRiKai Word Count: 1583

Note: I’m gonna be doing more of this AU, keep an eye out. I have a lot planned. Lea + Isa picture here. Other mermaid information here. I’m reposting to try to get this into the search because for some reason the first try wasn’t.

“Hey, Isa, you remember that time I almost killed you?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that, Lea. You do that regularly.”

Lea rolled his eyes and swam up and above Isa, reaching down and dangling his arms in front of his best friend as they swam together. He silently recalled when he had to be more careful around Isa, glad for that time being over. “Nah, you know what I mean. I’ve never actually almost killed you.”

“Didn’t you just ask about the time you did?”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“I need you to think for a second, just a second. Why would I forget one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had?” Isa paused his swimming and let Lea circle back so he could still be talking to Isa while looking down from above.

“I was kinda hoping you’d still be unwilling to say it like that, but you’re right. I was just thinking about how glad I am that I can touch you now.”

Isa reached up to prick his finger against one of Lea’s spines, it barely felt like anything after years of getting used to it.“It’s been ages, aren’t you used to being able to touch me without being incredibly careful by now?”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t make me happy.”

Isa laughed and looked up at Lea, reaching up and cupping his face to make sure they locked eyes. He couldn’t deny Lea being so outwardly sentimental was something he loved about him. “What was your point, Lea? Did you have one or did you just want to be a dork?”

Lea moved his hand over Isa’s and smiled. “I’m just thinking about it. I was really scared you weren’t going to be my friend anymore because of that and here we are, you’re in love with me and-”

“Don’t know who said that.”

“And I love you.”

“As you should.”

“You refused to let me know you were hurting that bad, you were really strong. You’re always so strong. I just love you.”

“Sappy. Is something going on?”

“No. I really was just thinking about how nice it is to not have that happen anymore. No poisoning my friend with hugs. Now I just bother my boyfriend by being clingy.”

“Sounds like you’ve had a couple changes, then. Why are we just talking about the almost killing me part of the story?”

“Because I’m trying to get to a point.”

“You said you didn’t have one.”

“Ugh! Just stop making fun of me for two seconds. You’re obnoxious.”

“Oh? Am I really the obnoxious one?”

“Yes! Why do I even like you?”

“I’m told you’re in love.”

“Wish I wasn’t in love with someone so mean to me.”

“I’m not mean to you. I could be. Do you want me to be mean to you?”

“No. Isa.”

“Then you know I’m being as nice as I can be?”

“Isa, can you just shut up and let me talk?”

“Hah, you think I’m able to keep you from talking? You?”

“Alright, shut up.”

“Really rude to keep saying that.” Moving up in the water to press his lips to Lea’s for a moment, Isa laughed. “You like hearing me talk. You enjoy my voice.”

“If you’d let me get to my point, Isa.” He left emphasis on the second syllable as he waited to be interrupted. When there was no interruption, he sighed. “I’ve been thinking about that because of how many things we still do come from not being able to touch you. When you kiss me outside of saying hey, it makes me remember watching Aeleus help you into the castle when I hugged you. Y’know, that should’ve had you paralyzed?”

“Yes, I’m aware. Are we really going over some backstory? Can’t we just continue this swim, head up to the beach, and relax there while it’s empty?”

“Am I not allowed to talk to my best friend anymore?”

“You are, but your boyfriend is getting impatient.”

“Then tell him to stop being an asshole.”

“He’s not about to listen, he’s just as stubborn as you are. Now, seriously, come on. There’s nothing we can’t talk about while relaxing somewhere even just a little safer than open ocean between islands.”

“Fine.”

“And I bet you don’t remember what your point was anyways.”

“I just told you what it was.”

“Oh? Was that it?”

“I hate you.”

Isa laughed and rolled his eyes, deciding to let that empty statement stand, returning to the other part of what he’d been saying. “We wouldn’t be between islands if you just remembered where we were going.”

“You could’ve told me I was swimming the wrong way.”

“You’re almost always ahead of me. It’s your fault for going so far so fast.”

“You could’ve noticed.”

“Excuse me for trusting the one who decided to take the lead.”

“You weren’t even trusting me, I know you better than that.”

“Fine, I was laughing at you for going the wrong way, but we didn’t run into any humans with nets, so it’s fine.”

“If that’s your metric, then, yeah, I guess. You sure you’re going to be fine doing your job when we get back?”

“If I’m too tired for the day, the world won’t fall apart if I don’t go in.”

“But you will.”

“Yes, I will. Of course I will. You will too.”

“Nah, I’m gonna skip out. Be irresponsible and sleep all day. Place won’t fall apart without me.”

Isa rolled his eyes and wrapped his hands around Lea’s wrists carefully, webbing between his fingers getting in the way of a full and comfortable grasp. He wasn’t going to say it aloud, but he really did want to just sit on the beach with Lea and look up at the moon until they were too dry to stay on land. “Lea, start moving, I want to get home eventually, but the moon is full tonight.”

“You’re the one who stopped?”

Isa didn’t respond to Lea and instead opted to swimming forward with a small tug of Lea’s arms before letting go to continue swimming. He could be much faster when he wanted to be, a tuna tail was much better suited to going quickly than anyone who had only met Isa alone would be led to believe. Lea had to fight to keep up with Isa.

“Hey, Isa, slow down.”

“You can keep up, I believe in you.”

“Why am I dating you?”

“Why am I dating someone so slow?”

“Ugh! Fine. I don’t want to race, though, so slow down a little bit?”

Isa fell back, swimming at Lea’s pace and bumping their hips together. Lea still had the tendency to be careful around other people, despite Isa being all but completely immune to his sting because of the constant exposure. Isa had no such care. Lea responded to the bump by wrapping his tail around Isa’s, taking a position most used for comfortable relaxing while not moving.

“You really don’t want to let me see the moon above the water tonight, do you?”

“We’re still moving. You know how to pull me around, I know you do.”

“You’re lucky your tail isn’t as short as your dad’s is.”

“And you’re not. Pull me along.”

“Don’t be lazy.”

“Too late. I’m comfortable. And I know you can do this for a significantly longer time.”

Isa just sighed, shaking his head at Lea’s dorky actions. He loved Lea a great deal, but sometimes it was difficult… this was not one of those times, Isa found, as he glanced back to look at Lea’s smirk.

They didn’t have that far to go, so the rest of their swim was in silence. They pulled themselves onto the deserted beach carefully and hacked the water up out of their lungs.

As soon as they were comfortably on the beach and breathing air, Lea flopped backwards into the sand and groaned. “I will never be used to that.”

“What?”

“Having to cough up that much water.”

“You’ll never get used to anything different than your first two years alive, will you?”

“Oh, shut up. You wanted to lay here and talk and look at the moon, so lay down with me.”

Isa rolled his eyes and laid down next to Lea, holding his arm out so he could be leaned against if Lea decided he wanted to. And of course Lea wanted to.

Just as Lea got comfortable, there was a sound of footsteps that was just too close for comfort. Lea moved away and began to slide back into the water and Isa followed behind him.

They got into the water just as a pair of human children locked eyes with them.

“Wait, no, don’t go!” One of the children called out to the mermaids, reaching his hand out only to have the other grab him and hold him back.

“Sora, leave them alone. Kairi didn’t want to be seen either.”

“Yeah, but… We’re friendly.”

The mermaids stared at the gently arguing children in confusion, slowly backing up in the water so they could have a good distance between them. Where had they picked up this human language?

Suddenly, Lea realized the humans had said a name.

“...Did you say Kairi?” Lea was too curious to continue the act of self preservation Isa was still anxious to do, but not without Lea. He knew that and he could see Isa ready to bolt, but he needed to know.