#he shouldnt have to live such trauma

[angel-maybe-alive]

Look

I got into formula one recently (it's a long story) but you know what it changed me

I can respect now romantasy authors who only write cliche about their psycho fae dream boys it's not good literature, far from it actually i still believe its fucking up a lot of girls spectations about sex and sexuality, But I can respect

Now I was made aware of an author who wrote a full on erotica about a real life formula one driver with his full government name in it, no Hardin Scott type of shit, no no no the guys actual name and his full apparently ai generated face and Slightly more ripped body in the cover.

What happened to shame

This is the type of shit you wrote on wattpad and kept there. If you got too popular, then you would change some stuff, especially the guys name, and maybe publish it, but mostly it would die as free erotica on wattpad.

By the way I'm not against rpf as fanfic because let's be real no multimillionaire is out there on ao3 and if they are they know what they were signing for, something something the fourth wall between celebrities and their fans

But this woman just bought a hammer to the fourth wall with no sign of giving a fuck

I'm baffled, okay.

[angelstrawbabie420]

crazy how i have no one

[wouriqueen]

Riftan I'll have your head on a pike. Let a girl live.

[fantasynsuch]

Adam Stanheight SFW + NSFW headcanons

REQUESTS FOR SAW OPEN!

2.3k words

Sfw

How you meet!

you two meet probably in the hallway of your crappy apartment complex.

you run into him from the corner, he had his headphones in and was listening to it on full volume, and you were running late for work

crashing head first into neighbor? you dick he probably thinks to himself as he realizes he just ran into his neighbor.

he'd seen you around before: mostly rushing to whatever crappy retail job of the month you had

he had thought you were really beautiful, but he was a coward at heart, so never did anything about it

this time he didn't have the choice to not interact with you: well, without looking like a dick

"I am SO sorry. I'm such a dumbass." He rushes out before he can think

Youre still kinda in a little bit of shock, so you just look up at this incredibly handsome man who just face planted into you for a long while

he thinks your silence is you rejecting his apologies and he quietly apologizes and runs off

but you just were so enamored by him that you couldn't say anything

at work all you can think about is how you didn't accept his apologies and probably made him feel horrible

you were determined to make things right so after work you grab a couple packs of the smokes you always saw him with from the store and rush to his apartment

you timidly knock on his door and wait with bated breath

he sees you through the peephole and momentarily considers not answering it

but he sees the bag you have in your hand and is curious

he opens it, fully expecting to be yelled at for running into you

but all that happens is you raise the bag up quickly and say "i'm so sorry i didn't say anything, i feel so bad. i just was in shock because you're s-" you stop and say nothing after realizing your rambling

he looks in the bag and notices the smokes

you smile at him shyly

and that starts a beautiful relation

how you are as friends

you stay over ALOT

he tends to not eat the best so you make him alot of dinners and lunches to make sure he's eating regularly

his work as a professional stalker keeps him up at odd hours so those pre made meals are rlly a life saver

buying each other candy and snacks alot

when the other was having a rough month fiancially, you would try to pick up the slack andhelp them

that means buying the other small groceries and items to get them through till the next check

you stay over sm the other has toiletries like tooth brushes n soap at the others place

going to parties together but only talking to one another bc ur both not super extroverted

you just go for the free alcohol

speaking of which,,, taking care of each other when the other is drunk

he holds ur hair when ur sick in the toilet,

you rub his back when he's sick

when the other is actually ill as in cold or the flu, bringing each other soup n montioring each others temp

making sure the other takes their meds to get better

inevitably the other gets sick with the same thing, but it just ends up the same way with the other taking care of u

leaving notes in his mail slot when he's busy, and since its 2004, no fast messaging so "coming over at 5!! xoxo" in his mail slot

he lives kinda like a typical man with basically only a chair and essentials , bare ass living room

taking him to the thrift store to get like a decent couch n maybe an arm chair

helping him expand his wardrope to something beyond crappy second hand flannel n white shirt (preferably without blood on it)

helping him get through his trauma over the trap

you cant exactly help him get over it, but ur there when he has bad moments

holding him while he sobs in ur lap

just stroking his hair n reminding him hes here n not at the god awful bathroom

it really calms him down and reminds him he is present in this moment, not that one

he sometimes gets insecure about his scar on his shoulder and tries to hid it but you remind him that he shouldnt be embarassed for being strong enough to survive

helping him get back into normal non stalkery photographer- his need to make money to live kinda outweighed his desire to just take pics of birds

speaking of which: he def loves nature photography

he lives in new jersey, so its rare he gets to do that, but its a nice treat

road trips with him n he spends the whole time as a passenger princess asking you to stop n take pics of a dead tree that has a rlllly nice backdrop

ur crappy car probably breaks down once or twice but its part of the adventure

In a relationship

kisses. lot of f'ing kisses

neck kisses, forehead kisses, navel kisses. any types!

probably is the little spoon lbr

follows ur lead for the most part

want to go to the theatre? it may take out half his money but he WILL pay for the date

probably gets u sweet treats alot n writes a little note that says "love you babe!"

he def clings to you everywhere u go

got to go to the kitche? catch him hugging u from behind n not letting go

can't fall asleep without each other anymore

he used to have a twin sized mattress but he decided to buy a full after u moved intogether

speaking of which, he definitely moved into your apartment

you have a two bedroom n that allows him to have a red room for his photography and a bedroom

he probably only had a redroom and slept on the couch at his apartment tbh

typical man

very clean n likes to take showers with you

his fav thing is his hair being washed by you

the scraping on his scalp is incredibily grounding

he loves washing you as well, and not in a sexual way.

theres something so domestic about cleaning each other that he loves.

ultimately i think his interactions with cheating rich men has spoiled a bit of his view of marriage, but with you he really can see himself settling down and being a forever thing. beyond everything, he trusts you

he craves domesticity so he will enjoy providing for you and helping with the house

loves to cook, his mom probably taught him

doesn't really have a jealousy problem, though he can get jealous from time to time

very rare, but if he does, there might actually be a substantiated reason

doesn't want kids atm, as he can barely support himself and you.

waiting up for you to get home no matter how tired he is

wants to make sure you're home safe

rlly co dependent directly following the trap. can't be in the bathroom by myself, it reminds him too much of the trap. he needs you to be in the room with you while you speak to him through the curtain, or even better, being in the shower with you.

needs constant reassurance he isnt a burden on you

he feels like you don't deserve to be with a man who has so many problems

you tell him constantly that you will be there no matter what

holding hands just to remind him of your presence.

calms him down alot more than you expect

if you happen to be late getting home from work, he may partially freak out: thinking you left him finally

you'll find him sobbing on the couch curled in on himself

he's so vulnerable after lawrence left him there

he doesn't know that lawrence didn't break his promise intentionally so he holds alot of resentment for him

kissing his cheeks and telling him you'll never leave

onto more happy things:

MOVIE NIGHTS!!! you religiously watch movies together and spend most of the time talking about the stupidity of the characters or something.

never meeting his parents bc he's not on good terms with them

LOVES THAT YOURE ABOUT HIS HEIGHT, he's not a tall man and has never been insecure about his height, but the fact he's eye level with you makes it extremely intimate in his opinion

or if you're taller than him, his man brain goes ooga booga and thinks "tall woman/man" and all bets are off

NSFW

okay, to go ahead and put this glaringly obvious thing out there: HE HAS A THING FOR BEING A SUB!!!

He needs you to take control and tell him what to do

grab him by his hair and shove him in between your legs? yes ma'am

ask him to kneel and eat you out on a hardwood floor? done

he absolutely would do anything for you

he needs reassurance what he's doing is good: and rest assured, it is

he probably is a bit messy, and not very controlled

sloppy licks and desperate sucks are common

same thing for when he's inside you

ragged thrusts and a desperate pace

hes probably desperate bc you havent let him cum the whole session

his cock is probably a bit under average length wise, but good god is his girth something to marvel at

everytime he takes you he stretches you

very skinny man, and once you get your claws into him, he probably gains weight which gives him a cute bit of chub that you love to grab onto while he's thrusting into your hole haphazardly.

its almost like a leash

he absolutely needs direction the first couple times, hes so nervous he's shaking

you ask if he wants to keep going and he nods quickly n says theres nothing he's ever wanted more, but assuming this is following the trap, he absolutely needs someone to tell him what to do

could definitely get off from watching you cum (it's def happened before, his poor red cock hadn't been touched all night beyond the grinding on the bed he's hidden from you while eating you out and seeing your intense pleasure just,, he couldn't hold on anymore)

probably circumcised with a tasteful amount of hair, enough to be cute but not enough to be annoying

his nipples are probably so sensitive and he doesnt even know it, he's never thought to play with them

the first time you brush them he gasps and leaks precum

from then on they become a regular part of your routine when playing with him

PLEASE CALL HIM A GOOD BOY!!!

the first time you do, his head is thrown back in ecstasy from your mouth on his cock, and when you pull up, you tell him to look at you while still stroking his cock, and you say "youre my good boy. cum for me my baby boy."

he immediately cums and is embarrassed for weeks, even with your reassurance that it was the hottest thing you've ever seen

speaking of head, he loves getting it but he absolutely enjoys giving it more

theres something so sexy about being able to lick you to completion

when he gets head, he's so lost in his own pleasure that he forgets to breathe and when he remembers, he takes deep breaths

is so in love with your body

he thinks your the hottest person he's ever seen

would probably want to call you mistress or momma. i dont make the rules

RIDE HIM RN

he loves when you're on top, it makes him feel so helpless

alright so: he definitely wants you to peg him

grip his hands and place them above his head, and shove his head into the mattress

anything

his fav position is with his ass up in the air with his head shoved in a pillow and his cock hanging pitifully untouched. shove your strap into his ass while he begs you to make him cum

grab his face and kiss him while he wails out from the pleasure

shove your tongue down his throat,,, something!!

IN THE ODD OCCASION HE IS FEELING DOMINANT!!

rare

but it happens

he isn't some hard dom who leaves you bruised up

he will take care of you just like he does when he's subbing, but he won't let you order him around

grabs your neck and just holds. not enough to prevent you breathing, but enough for you to know its there

still sloppy either way

with him, aftercare is a must

thing is: you can't leave him alone after he's finished subbing, as it sparks some trigger that brings him back to the bathroom, where, in his mind, lawrence left him to die

you have to take him with you

you found out after he cries out and practically tackles you begging you to not leave and to stay with him and to not abandon him

its alot of rambling, but once you get him to calm down, he is pretty embarrassed, but you understand

you tell him to get up and hold his hand, or hug, while walking to the bathroom

wiping a rag on his oversensitive cock to clean it and seeing his face scrunch up is ur fav thing

you might make him eat his cum out of you to clean you up, but it just depends on how he feels. and it might start up a whole nother round so its a gamble

he probably doesn't fall asleep immediately afterward, and will stay there stroking your hair while you sleep to remind himself you're there, you aren't leaving and you love him

LOTS OF LOVE YOU'S DURING AND AFTER!!

something about you telling him you love him does something: it might be from him feeling useless and like a burden

when he finally sleeps, he's the little spoon and he whispers a quick,"thank you"before nodding off

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!! I LOVE ADAM AND SAW AND AND pLS REQUEST SOMETHING!!

[p5-apotelesma]

AS I SAID I WOULD: heres the post yapping about how Makoto's Career Choices have Ren Putting Her At A Distance

by no means do they stop being friends. she just ends up drifting a little further away from him in his circles of intimacy. they raise their walls around her a little. there's some part of him feels betrayed but. he'd sooner let the earth swallow him than bring it up. ren feels like an asshole for feeling uncomfortable about their friends goals.

what right does he have to tell her what she should or shouldnt do. he just doesnt. (especially when he already made the call to take a happy future away from her once. a future with her dead father. who she wants to honor by becoming a cop in the first place)

i think it would have potential to come up during strikers. because. (looks at the circumstances of strikers through the lens of rens trauma)

yeah.

they've essentially been blackmailed by the police again. who are out to arrest ren and his friends for shit they didnt fucking do. and they have to put their trust in one of them. and ren is Really Not Doing So Good But Hes Repressing That. and meanwhile makoto's over here talking to the cop whos infiltrated their group about what its like being on the force. and ren wants to start slamming his head through the walls

ren, who has spent the past 4 months living with their shitty parents and has fallen back into old survival patterns is. REALLY not up for creating a situation that could create potential for confrontation. but makoto is no dummy and can probably tell that hes really not comfortable (in general) but that. particularly. the ways they interact have changed. and she would want to get to the bottom of whats bothering them

and god, what hasnt been? had the metaverse not come back maybe ren would have been able to relax enough to talk to his friends about what hes been going through at home. but theyre tight lipped about that now. his problems arent as important as everything else going on. but i can see ren cracking.

REN: i dont want to convince you to abandon the path. you want to travel. i know your dad. means. a lot to you. you want to honor him. because of what he stood for-- he was a hero to you. REN: but your dad is gone makoto. REN: while i-im still here. and i almost wasnt. i could have--- i almost died. i wished i had. (i was in so much pain i just wanted it to be over) REN: all because of people who you would end up having to answer to. i dont (god breathing is hard) REN: understand. how you. can reconcile with that. how you can try. and comfort me. when im in the crosshairs of the police. and then turn around and chat with the guy. who threatened to arrest me. about how you want to join the force REN: i know you makoto. and that's why i dont understand. and i dont. know how to be okay with that. im not. im sorry but it just makes me sick to my stomach every time it comes up

honestly whether rens feelings about it would come up during strikers or not til Rens Distortion Arc. she would be like. oh god he thinks i dont care. and it would BREAK HER HEART. like. especially because i think makoto could feel some guilt about the plan she primarily helped throw together to trick goro so last minute that. put ren through what he considers the worst day of his life. the ren that went into that concrete room did not come back out.

[mayxo-hxh]

As autistic coded as Illumi is, he is also EXTREMELY Bpd coded. Here's a thread abt why that would be, from a person with bpd. 🧵

Everything about his character screams a person that feels so so much but forcefully tones his feelings down so hard to the point where they seem nonexistent.

On the exterior he seems like he couldn't care less about most things and is a very calm and controlled person. However, his emotions shine the brightest when the topic of interest is a person he cares about.

This is ESPECIALLY shown in the election arc where he reveals much of his emotions to the audience. He gets two whole bloodlust scenes this arc.

One with extreme anger

and one with extreme joy.

When Hisoka provoked him, it took absolutely zero transition for him to immediately spike his bloodlust and aura to GREAT amounts to the point of engulfing the entire MOUNTAIN and reaching Killua from SO far away.

And in the same exact second it happened, it ended just as quickly the moment he noticed Killua running away. That is a CLASSIC negative mood swing example if I've ever seen one. One extreme emotion in one second, gone in the other.

On the other hand, his second bloodlust had a small transition, one that still did not give you the expectation of what truly came after.

He is seen watching Killua on his phone and the moment Nanika healed gon, showing Killua can use her on command with no consequences and also showing her immense power, he was absolutely overjoyed. So much in fact that he exploded in maniac laughter and aura a second after merely giving it a small laugh.

We get a hint at his bloodlust incoming in that moment, but NEVER predict just how MUCH would actually come out. Classic euphoric mood swing number two.

When he encountera Killua with Hisoka in the background at the end, he is pretty much shown going through the five stages of grief in mere minutes the moment his own butlers turn on him and allow Nanika to come out.

denial, anger, depression...

bargaining.......

and finally, acceptance. acceptance that he was going to be traded by killua not only for a friend, but for the rest of the family's lives.

He was so very clearly unhappy about it at the beginning, yet came to acceptance in mere seconds the moment nanika came out. He bargained with himself, Killua shouldnt be able to wish twice, then accepted. even if he could, thats okay. go ahead, kill me!

and then theres also the way he just switches from a very :DDD to >:| mood in like one panel short hello he is so coded

Even more; Usually bpd is either caused through trauma or inherited. and you can definitely argue that illumi went through enough "training" for the former but. is his behavior not. familiar to yall. not at all???? im just saying......... I know someone else in the zoldyck family that has intense mood swings!

if there is one person in the family that shows their unfiltered emotions and switches from being calm to screaming in distress in a single second, its going to be this woman. she gave birth to a son thats a literal copy of her. she ctrl c'd and ctrl v'd.

and i dont exactly know what this next one has to do with the thread but why was bro normal for one second then turned into this i mean im not complaining hes still hot and ill claim him as my bpd son regardless

anyways yes this was the thread have fun with this interpretation slash analysis however u like 👍

[slicedseafoam]

ROUND 5!!

@strawberryfairyflower, @keeper0f-k3ys and @miaisnotokay sleep in shifts to avoid BEING MURDERED. smart tbh good job guys.

@moeguts begs for @juiceboxyyx to kill them but it doesnt??? uhhh ALL PART OF THE PLAN.

@k1-2-ur-heart, @thespoinkyspunge, @jellyfishrui and @menhera-cutie also sleep in shifts!!! teamwork makes the dreamwork

@aggggghhh SHOOTS AN ARROW AT @toxetta... BUT IT MISSES AND HITS @landminetheartemis INSTEAD!!! sigh maybe i shouldnt have given u that aggressive nickname it was too much of a buff.

@pienprince begs for me to kill him but he's cool so i don't. this is all part of my master plan trust trust.

@twistedsweethearts tries to treat her infection... oof good luck with that you'll need it.

@thebunnynurse thinks abt home!! is that why youre so murderous you just really wanna go home?

@fishtheflowerchomper goes to sleep... sweet dreams vro

@kirumarythechair is also going insane!!! if u live u may end up on mentally ill tumblr from the hunger games trauma ONEOFUSONEOFUSONEOFUSONEOFUS!!!

@softkiten stays awake all night. maybe not the best idea but hey if it keeps u from getting murdered good work!!

@adams-world-domination-plans gets woken up by nightmares yikes

@yxieee eats poison berries... RIP

SPONSOR LIST: (tag list) @silly-crittersss @aghusernamesaredifficult

[roboj0e]

Wade would bully Peter bc someone said he would and wrote it happening and bc y'all are so boring and annoying. Fanfiction isn't about what's canon or strictly in character thats why they're called transformative works. I think y'alls weird obsession with what's cannon while also trying to heavily police what and how ppl make fiction is honestly been the death of fandom and creativity.

There hasn't been a large scale cross over in fandom in years that either wasn't completely ironic or torn down by bullies that it fizzled out bc y'all don't know how to have fun. Even that recent debate over how sans would react to his brother death is further proof of y'all's lack of understanding of interpretation and fan works. Fanwork are supposed to exist in the reality of the fiction of the person who wrote it. NOT what IS the right interpretation bc there are NO right interpretation except for what is made canon which can be anything bc WE aren't the creators.

Who cares what happens in the comics. The comic themselves don't care what happens in other comic runs unless it's specifically meant to be a spin off/continuation.

Wade is SUPPOSED to be a morally ambiguous character. I know y'all have washed him of all the ambiguity bc ppl have told you that how ur supposed to approach fiction and y'all can not perceive a protag who might not be the best person who ur also NOT supposed to hate (god forbid a protag not have Jesus adjacent morality) but thats what he is. He'll do whatever anyone wrote him doing bc he's not real and also anything thats morally ambiguous or toxic bc that's one of his character traits and what was supposed to set him apparent from other heros he's not even a hero he's an antihero. I can not believe y'all are moralizing something as tame as bullying. Bullies making up with their victims happens in DISNEY movies now y'all tryna make that into some problematic take. OMG. And this is from someone who WAS bullied briefly until I learned how to fight and stand up for myself.

Thinking that someone who romanticizes something morally wrong couldn't have possibly been through that experience is the direct antithesis of fiction. It also makes no sense. Plenty of ppl write from experience but also sometimes turning it into a story in which they control how they interact with a bully does A LOT FOR REGAIN CONTROL OF THOSE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES. STOP TRYING TO SUS OUT WHO HAS TRAUMA OR NOT. also STOP thinking that you are an authority of certain traumatic experiences you aren't every experiences are very VERY personal and the portrayal of those experiences should have NOTHING to do with yours bc there is NO way to encapsulate all lived experiences. And even if someone hasn't been bullied who cares again decenter yourself from a fictional scenario that should in now way be a representation of you bc u are not the center of the universe.

(THIS SECTION UNDERNEATH IS MY HEAD CANON U DONT HAVE TO TELL ME U DONT LIKE AGE GAPS IDC)

Secondly wade only wouldnt bully Peter TO ME bc I'm not a teenager in highschool like some of y'all and highschool fics don't interest me and wade to me shouldne even be in highschool and always be the much older one in the dynamic. They shouldnt even be near the same age for me. But whatever floats ur boat. You can do whatever you wan't but when y'all make these long posts telling OTHER ppl what they can and can't do OR how you think YOUR interpretation of the character is the most right your crossing a line frl.

Edit: I read both Deadpool and spiderman comics btw plus the very wonderful spiderman/Deadpool run. GASP I know someone who likes the source material but doesn't adhere strictly to it bc I actually have an imagination and like to have fun instead of kissing marvels feet and remaining in a narrow interpretation of a character. A rare breed I guess.

Edit edit: I also think alot of y'all have a very romcom take on spideypool. And thats definitely fine love my fair share of fluff. But I have a much more complicated take on them. Again I think an age gap compliments these complications. It adds to an imbalanced perspective of both of them towards each other. I'm also very uninterested in a spideypool that grow healthy together or peter "fixing" wade. I want them to overcomplicate their relationship but for it to also be a healthy balance of comedic and fun and hot monkey sex that keeps them interested in a less than perfect relationship. A sorta push and pull from both sides.

[theroseofmaine]

None of this has any connection to what i usually post but i want to get this out so bad:

Also please forgive me for any grammar mistakes its like 2am and im tired but if i dont get this out i wont sleep

Both Damian Wayne and Terry McGinnis have very similar problems and should have very different endings.

DC saw how successful Batman Bruce Wayne is and can’t grow beyond him. Everything is Batman centric and its a bit too much. Not saying in any way shape or form that they should just throw him in the trash but they need to let the man rest at this point.

Damian is biologically the heir to both the LOA and Batman’s legacy, and he was always only had that perspective, he never really had the chance to choose for himself what he wants.

I love how he is Bruce’s bio kid and thats why he shouldn’t be Batman. He needs to choose for himself, be his own person. I really really hope they continue with the approach of him helping people by helping out in hospitals and possibly becoming a doctor instead of being a Bat, because that way hes being authentic to himself yet still following Batmans legacy (of helping Gotham and its people) but being what Bruce couldn’t: a doctor, a healer, someone that saw the path of violence and chose to leave.

The only real reason for him to become Batman? Being Bruces bio kid. That man’s whole life he was taken kids that apparently have no place in the world and even tho through the most fucked up way possible, given them a place, a reason to be good, and thats why Damian shouldnt be Batman. Because that way hes not being throw into a position he only wants because they told him thats what he should want, but finding his own place through Bruce.

Terry had not only a really interesting backstory, making parallels with the OG Batman (the loss of family, the need for justice, the love for Gotham) but also a great story: he was “just a guy” who wanted to do good but also prove to himself that he has changed and that he is good. He became Batman by himself, stealing the suit from the Batcave and choosing that thats what he wanted. And it should have stayed like that, because honestly, Batman is supposed to be just a guy that decided to take matters into his own hands bc someone should (it didn’t happen bc of his money dont even start!! absolute batman is a thing).

I feel like that by making Terry a somewhat Bruce clone in my opinion takes that away from him. Is he Batman because he has Bruce’s DNA or because he actually deserves it and made it his place? If he didn’t had Bruces DNA and still had gone through all of that, would he still be Batman? More then once Bruce told Terry to leave, and he stayed because thats what he needs, thats what Gotham needs. He should have no connection to Bruce, and because of that he should be Batman.

I love the possibility of Cassandra becoming Batman, but i really feel that Batman should start by being Batman. Before all the trauma being just a regular dude living a regular life, having deep connections with Gotham because thats where they grew up and everyone they love is in, and then after the trauma developing a strong moral compass and sense of justice.

In conclusion: make Damian a doctor or give him his own separate path in the vigilante world and make Terry just a guy again PLEASEEE really sorry this is really long and probably a bit redundant/confusing but it was a ramble i needed

[thornswoggled]

i think there is a convo to be had about how chises dragon curse - for all of its confusing mechanics - functions less as a plot point and more of a physical manifestation of the character growth chise has yet to undertake, and an unwillingness to reckon with the person she is past the roles she serves in the lives of others

chise takes this curse on when she returns to the auction house, and location is everything here. at its core, this curse is anger, hatred, fear, pain, and a deep desire to return to comfort - destructive emotions that rip apart all it touches. when chise breaks down at the sight of the frightened dragon for sale, elias tells her that those are not her emotions, that she shouldnt let them overtake her - but they are her emotions, that dragon is her, and there was never a possibility that she wouldnt follow it on its flight over london. seeing as things have "worked out" for her til now, chise hasnt yet reckoned with the gravity of what it meant to sell her life away. she hasnt reckoned with the hatred and anger and pain that she still harbors - unfortunately, moving to a quaint little english cottage does not undo a lifetime of neglect. her attempts to fix those around her, philomela being a prime example, will only get her so far. eventually she will have to look within, and i dont think shes done more than dip her toes in. "this is my past, these sad things happened to me, now things are better" is not the end of her self-reflection. now that we know the past she carries with her, what does all of that mean for her? what kind of person is she? who will she become?

im thinking too about this recurring theme of "atavism." its a key feature in tambs dragons, who are able to evolve at will to suit their needs, and yori also mentions it when noting chises appearance. atavism is the reoccurrence of dormant or ancestral traits, and you could make the argument that its also functioning metaphorically here. evolving to suit the world around you, past burdens and trauma reemerging when its unexpected or inconvenient... my thoughts on this are loose right now

theres this concept that we've been getting, too, that chises dragon curse is something temporary. arc 1 left us with the idea that her two curses must remain in balance, in perpetuity, for her to survive. but theres this new interpretation of it being something that serves her for now, but she might shed it once it fulfills its purpose

continuing with the idea of the dragon curse as a sort of... idk, ptsd metaphor, what are these two examples from ch 98 implying? that her negative emotions will serve her when it comes time? that this sort of baggage cant be exorcised away? framing the dragon curse as temporary broaches the possibility of chise one day being cured of it, but what does that mean? and should she be?

(of course, the 'future chise' we see in ch 1 doesnt have a visible left hand, but is that meant to be a literal glimpse into the future, anyway? theres also a dragon made of vines behind her in that panel, didya notice it?)

i mentioned the auction house at the beginning because i feel that if chise sheds the dragon curse, it will be in much the same way she attained it. chise has been told that she is free, she is loved, she has told her "mother" that shes moving on with her life. but all of this is just the beginning - and lets be real, i dont think elias is putting her into therapy. joseph is the only character i can think of who is truly, earnestly pushing chise toward the difficult self-reflection she needs. im excited to see what he says when she taps into her "cursed fury"

this is why im so excited that we are being told explicitly, time and again, that things are about to go really bad for chise. tamb is such a masterwork of character writing, it is so incredibly emotionally intelligent and gives so much grace and patience to its characters. i have no doubt that chises character arc is going to go in such a spectacular direction

[ilynpilled]

sorry, i know you said you already said why but i cannot really find it, but why do you dislike jc double death?

this is gonna be short and fast sorry and also ig why i personally think it is not all that likely

1. jc delusion narratives are being deconstructed by the books. them dying together, as much as there is functional irony considering they cause each other’s death in some way (more directly or not lol), still cements aspects of it which works less well in my eyes. not moved by “womb to tomb” personally, even if it is just a huge tragedy for jaime. it feels very “telegraphed” and on the nose (as in. jaime and cersei kept outright and clearly saying it) to the point that ppl do view it as a inevitable certainty which i find interesting lol bc ig idk if gurm likes to do this like that, even if i consider it as “things the characters r certain of come to be not as they expected”

2. do not like its impact on jaime’s individuation arc. not even redemption (again. ppl’s lives have meaning not their deaths. view a character holistically) whatever who cares wise but more-so ‘jaime is his own individual with an identity that is cemented as separate from his sister obviously now that he is out of his limbo state’. what is the point of making jaime diverge and confront and take apart this delusion? like the irony doesnt serve his character like it would cers (she believes this still, she wants this still, it happening w him causing her death works w her.) id be more fine w it happening if jaime continued to be absurdly darkly obsessed instead of what i saw happen in the text now. again idk what his character is getting out of this irony atm tbh, other than “it doesnt matter that u confronted that she was the stranger all this time and made a key choice to diverge. it doesnt matter that as cersei wrote the letter thinking its okay if he cant really fight rn we will then simply leave the world as we came into it and we see jaime diverging here, u can still never escape it in the end” which just straight up feels kinda ass to me w jaime’s “whatever he chose” thesis. we already see him make a key choice in that book and it should have meaning instead of just pushing back the “inevitable” slightly

3. asos dream has cersei leave with the dead lans (tywin and joff and they go to the ancestors) with her flame before jaime who remains there w brienne w his own flaming sword. he is left in the dark with something terrifying and then gets his trauma packaged in tln imagery.

3. widow’s wail is in kl rn (plethora of shit there indicating that he will be the one to wield it lol. i mean who else? this is smn the show also confirms ig. he is gonna have to get that damn sword in his hand somehow) https://www.tumblr.com/ilynpilled/760442604179636224/got-the-prophetic-weirwood-dream-of-matching. is he gonna go back and forth? how long is cers gonna live?

4. this is just a funny and silly issue bc i truly dgaf atp but like how is it gonna happen exactly? cersei stabs him at the same time? (silly to me. also not the point of valonqar imo from cersei’s angle esp) a rock falls on him after? he gets dragon fire nuked right after? like the thing is that valonqar shouldnt really be like “oh so u wouldve been fire nuked a second later anyway” to me bc that kinda doesnt hit that hard with that being cerseis doom lol. he gets a heart attack at the same time? he kills himself? (alright this one is funny and kinda sexy) like i just find it difficult to envision a version that i find very solid

5. it could cut things short and make a lot of beats & interactions i wanna see happen and imo been set up to happen not possible

[kingcunny]

Your Baelon post is making me think of him living vicariously through the relationship of his sons, twisting Daemon into a version of him who Can Save His Brother. Bonus points if it’s girl!Daemon bc then there’s the Alyssa flavor also leaking in. Maybe even a bit more grooming there, who’s to say.

oooh yes yes very good… add into this i think what @atopvisenyashill said about how aemon and baelons relationship Mightve not been as incestous or codependent (at least aemon to baelon) as say, daemon and viserys. by almost pushing, or encouraging his kids into a relationship with each other he can live out the relationship he never got to have with aemon. maybe some delusions that if theyre Together. it will save viserys from aemons fate. (aemon died because he was Alone. if baelon was there he couldve saved him. he knows it)

viserys reminds baelon of aemon, sure hell never be the warrior aemon was, but hes bookish, quiet, kind. so baelon is projecting his trauma from his brothers death onto daemon, the son that takes more after himself and his mother. shaking daemon awake in the middle of the night, hes crying, wasted, telling him over and over he cant ever let anything happen to his brother. he has to always protect him. telling daemon hell be lost without him. pushing that fear of his brothers death onto daemon as well. only making them more codependent on each other. maybe he starts personally training him too. trying to turn daemon into the perfect guard dog for viserys. maybe sometimes during these sparing sessions baelon starts to get a little emotionally overwhelmed, starts going much harder on daemon than he should. beats the shit out of his 11 year old son. yelling at him in the dirt that hell never be able to save his brother like this. later that night viserys is bathing daemon/getting him ready for bed/mothering him in a way he probably shouldnt. he sees the bruises, asks what happened, asks if their father did that to him. and maybe daemon snaps at him. maybe gets a little physically aggressive with him. his father loves him and hurts him, so… the cycle continues

and god if its GIRL!daemon???? baelon trying to recreate alyssa in his daughter so she can marry his son (so she can come back to life), and his kids can be JUST like him and alyssa :) and maybe until daemons ready to marry viserys she can keep him company. whos to say.

[kenta-torture]

Please do another kent ramble love it

okay yay!!!!!!!!!!! the kenta! fun fact i am working of a hunting trophy of him to put on my wall (normal). this ramble is kind of the sequel to how i hope the aftermath of survive goes with him. sh mention at the end but its kind of just looking rlly deeply into smthn.

topic of the hour: hey hasnt it been a while since metal erosion was mentioned? (then again im not caught up fully. i have like 2 more drama tracks left. i also might have missed it in which case. gomen)

sooo. im very aware that the entire metal erosion and sci fi type aspects of paradox live arent meant to be that serious (as in, rules for the story to remember every moment and be haunted by. if that makes sense) so its totally fine for the writers to focus on more backstory stuff less fear for their lives blah blah bleh.

but they have a very interesting gimmick(?) punishment(?) system(?) to use that is so deeply intertwined with what every character does. i personally think/hope that theyre going to use it again but its whatever if all of the sci fi aspects go imo. i dont really care for most of the alter trigger aspects/ it was meant to be forces to drive characters rather than making this a sci fi based story.

anyways predictions for who has metal erosion from the newer(?)(i think theres a fandom name for them) teams. this is also based off of who i think it would be funnier/hurt more. from visty i would presume toma (doesnt the metal look kind of like a burn scar? scratches head) and kantaro. 1nm8 is hard to guess and i think they might skip 1nm8 since metal erosion might push them off the edge early into retiring or whatever. amprule is also hard because on one hand we have dongha whos already pushing himself to be the best, and on the other maybe if chungsung had it, it would push dongha to consider others better or something but thats kind of no fun for me. and kenta from gokuluck. obv.

kantaro and kenta are kind of the same with this since they're both the main producers of the music, with kantaro being the most canon/in story already version of what i think/hope will happen to kenta. like kantaro did lock himself in his room or something to work on music. this assumption riffs off the idea that metal erosion mostly comes off overworking yourself (okay reviewing this. i dont think anyone has had metal erosion from overworking but thtas plausible right??) but of course there are other reasons which is also why i love the concept of it so much.

so back to the kenta grind, him getting metal erosion would fuck him up. of course theres like. a medical way to cure it like how they did with nayuta, but that hospital dissolved iirc and do you think prisoners are getting good medical care. i get that this is set in japan but they have corrupt prison guards and bad security i doubt they would grant gokuluck any luxury like that.

so all we have left is a phantom metal kiss or whatever which, under the assumption he already knows about how it works (he is kenta mikoshiba. the endbringer_666 of all time. he knows everything), he wouldnt like it. he already wears like baggy ass clothing that could hide it, i think the only sign is that hes forgetting shit and being a little laggier (isnt that like. symptoms. im so sure thats part of the deal but also with every character whos had metal erosion that doesnt seem to be enough for others to notice? so i dont know.) maybe the lag is enough to piss him off and drive him a little crazy because hes the great kenta mikoshiba shouldnt he be at like 120fps with perfect memory why cant he think!

which might be enough for him to try and get help/complain or whatever but also. a pmk is so vulnerable (like you have to. go inside their head and undo/talk them out of the mindset of their trauma. i think. which is such anime shit but its funny i fw it) and please consider that his unit is close from proximity. and all adults. not to say that they dont have a bond i think they do its just so denied because this is supposed to be a way of survival and to get out of prison why would they be friends (lie). also consider that. none of his unitmates are like. the most good/moral people out there. and he has to go to them of all people to open up about his past and ask for help?

crazy. anyways itll probably be mr prison warden to do it so if youre a fan of father yuto son kenta. woohoo! big win for found family (im not really into it because i like when kenta has a bad time but like. its so likely and i dont deny the truth i see)

[previously i had an entire section glazing tf out of the concept of metal erosion from a writing standpoint but im ngl i got a lot of it wrong sooooo. soon to be added again after rereading memory and going back to the first cds bcs i guess i missed a lot]

[relatableblorbopoll]

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 6

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

propaganda under the cut

Jesper Fahey (Six of Crows)

No Propaganda

Crowley (Good Omens)

"He's gender. He's been in love with one guy for literally 6000 years and then royally fucks up his entire confession. He yells at his plants. He drapes himself over every fucking surface he sits on. He walks like *that*. He just fuckin makes sounds sometimes. He's me fr."

Dave Strider (Homestuck)

"everything that can be said about Dave's relatability will probably sound redundant, clichéd, or overdone if you are at all familiar with tumblrs sort of blorbo culture. this is exactly why he should be in this tournament.

stop me if you think that you've heard this one before: he hides his genuine emotions behind a persona, deflects sincerity with jokes, but also has a deep desire for validation and connection, so that his persona has many cracks where little bits of his true self slip through. deeply insecure, compares himself to others. a defeatist streak, avoids responsibility. does not wish to be troubled by The Horrors. he just wants to hang out and do his lil creative hobbies (making music and drawing comics). talks a lot to the point of being pretty awkward, rambling, and accidentally saying stuff he shouldnt.

all these things I think tend to resonate deeply with a lot of people, especially on Tumblr - that "person who is insecure and struggles with emotional openness so copes by making jokes" sort of trope, it's just like kin bait (affectionate). he also has a complicated relationship with gender which I know many find relatable (shout out to the "Dave homestuck was my trans awakening" homies) but whether it's about figuring out gender or sexuality or trauma or the apocalypse or anything else, Dave comes at it with an initial, learned, fear and reluctance that I think a lot of people have experienced, because it's very human and very much a part of many readers experiences (we live in a society). but he's always good, and likeable and that makes for a very important sort of relatable character. very comforting. even if he's a mess and he's an idiot you can believe he can get to something better, and you can watch him develop and grow.

also, I think he's extremely relatable because he never really knows what's going on in the comic either. I mean, that's gonna be relatable to most people Vis a vis homestuck. he's confused and he just wants to vibe and make his friends laugh. WHO AMONG US cannot relate?? I do not believe you if you say no.

I wrote too much and got way too weird about it. I'm sorry it's late I'd edit down but I really don't have the brain capacity.. which is very Dave core of me actually"

Junior (Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race)

"i relate to him a lot because his whole character is being embarrassed of his dad who tries too hard to be cool, but still loves him anyways. that is literally me"

Kim Dokja (Omnicient Reader's Viewpoint)

"kim dokja. oh kim dokja. so, without going into spoilers too much, kim dokja is very much a character you are expected to relate to and it makes the novel DEVASTATING. here's just a few things about him: - he is obsessed with a particular piece of media, and finds comfort in it when real life doesn't give him any. he's constantly thinking about it and defending it and trying to recommend it to other people (even though no one else bothers reading it, because it is an objectively bad 3000-chapter webnovel). even beyond that one novel, he's been using fiction as an escape for just about his entire life, something that rings true for a lot of people, especially in the modern world. - he struggles with socializing with other people. the first chapter alone gave me so much second hand embarrassment. it's so real but god it's So bad. he has zero friends and has that sort of loneliness where you're miserable but you can't really bring yourself to feel anything but resigned to it. in general he is just very Resigned to his unfortunate life and can't fully understand or accept it when it finally does get better - he has a complicated relationship with his mother. it's the kind of relationship where the parent genuinely does love their child, but they fail to give them what they need & have to accept that they hurt their kid and that they cannot be the most important person in their life. it's certainly not a universal experience but those sorts of parent-child relationships are woefully common but scarcely acknowledged -the insecurity. god there is so much insecurity in that man. it's hard to even completely tell it's there at first, because it's so ingrained in how he thinks that you don't question it until you know more about his character and suddenly it's all too apparent. he cannot believe that he can be loved (or, if that he can be, that they certainly would not be able to love all of him, only what he chooses to show them), and is selfless but like. the literal meaning of the word, where he will throw away all of his being for the people he loves. in general there is a lot of sacrifice as a love language which like. while i'm not off around throwing myself in front of magic death beams for people or anything i sure would give up everything i could if it meant helping the people i love - ok enough of that. here's some funny things i can relate to. the guy meets his favorite fictional blorbo and instead of worshipping him instead he bullies him constantly and internally complains about how unbearable he is both in the book and in real life. it's like a "i love my blorbo. i would not last 2 seconds in a room with him." You know. he gets so caught up in his fanon characterizations and biases about characters that he completely mischaracterizes them like constantly. he literally kills a guy half because he was his least favorite character. -this is a poll about blorbo relatability. therefore i must mention that kim dokja too related to his blorbo (or at least attempted to) and what is more relatable than that. anyways. kdj made me realize far too much about myself and is by far the most i have ever related to a character (and i Hate it). and tumblr would definitely relate to him too so :thumbs-up:"

"(SPOILERS) He is literally all of us. Reader. Just some guy. And then insane tragic backstory. But he’s also just some guy. He’s special and also just a guy. He’s also god. He can be shipped w anyone. He has versatility and interests and motivations. He also never tells anyone anything ever. He is so me."

"He reads a trashy, long-ass novel as a coping mechanism and doesn't think he's capable of being loved. Bro dissociates when he's emoting too much."

"I'm a homestuck fan, a Dave Strider fan even Never heard of Omnicient Reader's before Voted for the kim fellow because judging by the propaganda it looks like he himself would be a homestuck reader therefore making him more relatable than the homsetuck character himself"

"This guy’s been my companion since I was 11, I’ve grown up with Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint and I think that’s pretty funny since he grew up with Ways of Survival (the 3149 chapter novel) and therefore I’m straight up mirroring him. I, too, scare everyone off by being too enthusiastic whenever the webnovel is brought up! His insecurities are severe but I do see myself in some parts of him (which is worrying but whatever.) He is absolutely The Guy Ever. Utterly pathetic wet cat of a man. I love him. He represents the crazy fandom tumblrina in all of us."

Donutella (Tokidoki)

"she's made of donuts basically like me at this point"

[kiruliom]

you know what mental disorder people make hard to talk about even within communities built on it, besides paras?

munchausens.

and I get the reasoning, its scary. even if the whole disorder's thing being faking another disorder/illness/trauma wasnt doing it, fakeclaimers love to abuse the word until it loses its meaning.

so as someone who actually has it Id like to clear some stuff up

first of all, this doesnt mean Im faking any of my conditions, maybe not all of them are entirely accurate, but thats because I havent been able to find disorders that better describe it. Ive researched each of my conditions religiously, and talked most of them with my psychologist, who we already agreed I shouldnt get a medical diagnosis for because it could literally ruin my future where I live.

we're not "transabled", yes a portion of our community unfortunately does swing that way, but thats because thats the only community that wont immedietly flip its shit when you say "hey I dont actually have this disorder but I feel like I should have it" and thats so fucking sad. Im very anti-transabled and similar things. hell, even I was terrified of bringing it up until now.

its not a delusion, not for me, at least. I know I dont have the disorders I feel like I should have. so its not a mental equivelant of BIID. most of us feel that way because we're neglected, or feel we should have been affected worse, and some part of us grips to the false fact that maybe if we were hurt worse people would actually care, even if deep down we do know better.

it is incredibly rare. rarer than plurality even. so most fakeclaimers who immedietly resort to blaming munchausens for disabled people they claim are cringe, guess what!! that shits even rarer than whatever bullshit you claim cringy teens are faking.

if you believe someone is faking a disorder, let them!! ignore them!!! personally Id let 1000 people get away with faking shit than fakeclaim someone who actually has that disorder you claim theyre faking. and similar to delusions, it often makes us 'get into character' even harder, and just ruins our mood and makes actually disordered people around us insecure as well. there is no 'right' way to be disordered.

me, personally? Ive never gone as far as to fake a disorder, but god damn did I have the urge to and still do. I would be that whole 'he has every mental illness' meme if I didnt have as much self control as I did. but honestly would you even know if I did? I wouldnt tell you. because that means Id no longer get the attention I already wasnt getting because realistically no one cares and those that do are annoyingly pitying about it.

if any of you have questions about this, dont be afraid to ask, as long as you dont accuse me of shit Id love to talk about it. I just want more information on us out there :(

fakeclaimers fuck off or Ill rip your throat out

-Reggie and Velvet

[redrosesandcharmingsouls]

You see ,the reason why i think ,if the writers really feel the need to make Alicole canon in the sense of ''they kissed/they admitted it/they had sex'' ,the only right way to do it is make them do a goodbyes kiss ,is not only because i think the two of them having sex is OCC (they both have unresolved sexual trauma and extremely dutiful personalities) while having them kissing is not the same thing ,but also because there is a tragic element that just does it for me .

Like ,hear me out ,they kiss just as he is about to part for battle (his death).And then he parts and both cant feel guilty about it because they needed it ,so they cant do anithing worse ,it was only a little kiss ,a little sin .They are at a point of their lives where they are being in a extrenely bad place ,surely a kiss cant be so bad ,it would stop them to go further in their desires ,right?.

Except that ,as Alicent's hears of Criston death ,she is so overcome by guilt .Because if she hadnt kissed him ,in her head ,he would still be alive .(cause of course ,its always her fault ,she is the one who caused a crisis by having having kids she is the one who males Viserys neglect them by speaking her mind ,shes the one who makes Otto lose his job by believing Rhaenyra.Shes a creature made by guilt of things she couldnt control/ shouldnt feel guilty about).

And ,to make it even more tragic ,Criston dies with the memory of the last kiss on his mind ,his last thought before he parts.