#he sees the most powerful person in a system and immediately decides not to dismantle the system but to change it by being the power source

[scissor-spider]

I’m afraid Paul atreides in dune 2 is a bit of a Jonathan sims kinnie

[hewholivesinhisname]

Evil People Love Law and Order

There's a lot of gray areas in morality or things people just don't understand. But what's obvious is that torturing and enslaving people is wrong. non-consensual domination is wrong. Homophobia, transphobia, islamophobia, antisemitism, attempting to limit what women can do with their bodies. Lots of fucked up shit going on with the right.

If tehy were just talking about and pushing for more freedom for people to decide for themselves it would be one thign, but the right wasnts to take away everyone's freedom and create a police state loyal to one man. Something that a huge part of the population does not want. he's an obvious con man and they are destroying the government.

Donald Trump clearly has broken a lot of laws, but it's important to remember that it's not just about 'the law' because the law is a fickle thing. There's so many laws. it's about his policies to separate kids at the border and deport as many people as he can. It's about his willingness to dismantle the bureaucracy and replace it with a force that is loyal to him and him alone. it's about his willingness to therow the very poor in jail just for urban camping. It's about his classism and hatred of poor people. His disdain for women's rights and desire to outlaw abortion and force women to carry rape babies. It's about his desire to criminalize drug use and prostitution and pornography. Throwing sick people out of the military. His unwillingness to address the real issues in the economy such as too high rents.

The iron law of fascism states that power slowly and inexorably creeps up to one and one person alone and in this case it's Donald. However if you study history closely you see that we always live in an open system and once power is consolidated by the woiuld be god emperor it almost immediately starts to crumble form the very beginning.

Tyrants don't want their and their supporters to go off in the woulds and have a community of their own where they can waive their flags and be straight and white or whatever. They want to impose it on the rest of us and are upset that there's positive culutral changes happening. It's some really beta boi shit here, but they seem to really hate that women are now throwing off restrictive sex roles and acting more slutty based on their puritanical attitudes. They want to pretend, but they have a lot in common with the man-hating wing of the feminist movemetn which is why you can find that video "feminist to far right pipeline". You can tell that their hatred of prostitution is based on their desire to stop women from being feminine (with someone besides them I suppose since they hate race mixing).

To them, the militarism, machismo, violence and authoritarianism is not a problem. It's the solution . The solution to the problem of diversity which they dont' want to see. They want it to be all white, all the time with no room for anyone else. They want the us military to continue to slaughter people around the world in the shameful way it has. You can't support that.

War is evil and warmongers are evil people, and the united States since it's inception has endeavored to slaughter hundreds of millions of people around the Globe. The Covid operation with the vaccines, that is probably a US military operation. they just handed it to the companies to perform and Trumpers are fine with that probably with the caveat that American white children are not harmed. Such ingroup-outgroup, us vs. them mentality is dangerous to everyone all over the world. But it is especially dangerous to us who have to live here.

Governments are most deadly to their citizens and the reason for this is that they claim they own the land. An absurd claim that cannot be backed up by reason or evidence. They slaughtered people to get the land and they consider everyone on it to be their serfs. Tehy are upset when "their" people don't do what they want them to do and do something else.

Napoleon killed everyone who followed him and Donald trump will as well, but that doesn't mean he isn't dangerous. He's dangerous to a lot of people and the decision to allow hiim to do waht he is doing is going to be serious. Teh problem is that we on the left are too timid. too weak and not armed and dangerous as we should be.. We aren't working together and that makes us vulnerabile to fascists.

That has to change because we are all in mortal danger.

[genderificationbeam]

also, like, i don't know about the rest of the loose amalgam of bloggers who talk about transandrophobia (and all of its associated monikers), because we're not a monolith and we all have different conceptions of gender, but i don't...think trans men face unique challenges based on our occupation of both Trans AND Man in equal measure as a natural consequence of believing that gender identity is innate. I, personally, don't experience gender identity as some Innate Immutable Essentialism, and i don't think thats a useful model of talking about gender for anyone. gender is a social construct and brain sex by-and-large has been demonstrated to not exist; i think these facts cant really coexist with Gender Identity Is Immutable.

I think a lot of people who haven't examined the rationale behind transandrophobia assume that every trans masc who talks about it does so because we're viewing our inability to access True Manhood in the eyes of Gender As A System / The Patriarchy as a problem who's solution is "give us power under the patriarchy" and not "dismantle the patriarchy". People think that we feel entitled to a certain set of rights and privileges Of Man because we Feel Like Men and thus Should Be Treated Like A White Perisex CisHet Man In All Situations; Once we get it, obviously, its "fuck you I got mine".

I think people in particular, once they start to examine bioessentialism and decide that gender is more complicated than just Being What You Parts Specify, like to adopt the Gender essentialist idea that "choosing to be a woman" is the inherently virtuous option, and "choosing to be a man" is the inherently selfish (and to some extent, violent) option. you Must choose Something, and that choice informs your place in society Immediately at its most basic level, and all of your other intersectionalities cease to matter.

these people, setting aside for now the lack of intersectionality (and in some cases, outright refusal to acknowledge issues of race in particular as they pertain to gender and how someone is treated in society) this perspective of Gender Category As The Most Important Signifier Of Safety has, really fail to see that being a Gender Traitor of any kind makes someone, on some level, a target of patriarchal violence. that means ALL trans people, and it also means GNC cis people, and cis people that aren't GNC but reject specific expectations of them, and cis people that aren't GNC but do fail to live up to specific expectations (without a lack of trying). This point of view fails to realize that:

a) transmasculinity is, in and of itself, being a gender traitor.

b) transmasculinity is, in and of itself, actively threatening to patriarchy, and just as capable of destroying the machine of the patriarchy as any other flavor of Being Trans.

c) no Genre of Transness, or genre of gender identity is INHERENTLY safer or less safe; we all react to the trauma of the system differently.

d) while trans people are most obviously punished for going against The Rules, everyone is subjected to them and punished for being dissident. Everyone under patriarchy is either a commodity to be won with no agency of their own, a violent and aggressive taker of commodities with no room for humanity or safety, or too Degenerate to be considered either. of course, some people are punished worse or more often than others, but the System is the evil, and the people within it (while capable of trying to dismantle it or trying to uphold it), for the most part are participating with a gun to their heads.

I am not a man out of selfishness. I am not a man because I want access to the privileges of a cis man; I will probably never 100% pass and I'm a black man in the south: I wouldn't be afforded any even if i fucking wanted them!

I am a man for a lot of reasons: I like occupying a space that is inherently transgressive to the patriarchy / Gender As A System, but also its a comfortable place to occupy. I see myself in my dad and the comfort he's won for himself in his Being (not for lack of trying by white society). I like the way my body looks on T and i want a flatter chest; this isn't inherent to everyone's masculinity, but it IS inherent to mine. I'm queer, my experience of gay manhood is inherent to my experience of Manhood, im butch, im scrawny, im southern. none of this is in a vacuum. People aren't abstractions, viewed only as one thing at one time depending on when and where and who's doing the viewing. ask 10 men why they're men, and you'll get infinite responses. I think the Why is wholly secondary; who cares why, as long as you do what makes you happy and you support other people as they do the same?

most of all: i think people should be respected regardless of their Why. gender is fucking complex, and i only think about it so much because i Have to. the Gender of Dominance is, i think, a very inaccurate and inhuman way to refer to a vast amount of people, most of which have No material power. Yes, critique people when they've clearly accepted what the patriarchy tells them they have to be and are now violently (or otherwise!) enforcing that! Yes, draw attention to the hardships that come with your position on the patriarchy's totem pole! but the system, above all, is designed to alienate us from each other and consider eachother to be threats. I don't think thats right, or true, or a good way to live. Interact with your fellow gender traitors. talk to people. leave space jn your schemas of the world for them! please!

honestly the absolutely horrendous analytical framework offends me more about "transandrophobia" than the whole transfems and transmascs picking fights w each other. bc, uknow, i don't interact w transmascs that much. yeah no surprise trans ppl who identify with the gender category of Dominance are gonna balk at the suggestion that gender identities are constituted rather than innate. no, your moral dissonance is not my problem. I'm through with moralism and maybe you should be too. maybe go read some tiqqun about it. and your unconscious motives stink to high heaven too

[scattered-winter]

I would love to hear your SOC thoughts. First though, do you have a fav crow?

I DON'T HAVE A FAVORITE BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL SOOOOOO <3333

that said, I do have a special connection to jesper, nina, and kaz. they're the crows I relate to the most <3

NOW FOR A RAMBLE

so the thing I'm really excited for about this superhero au is that it'll be super fun to translate the canon characters over. and y'all know I love digging deep into aus and making everything overly complicated

first of all, what kind of superheroes are they gonna be?? I'm thinking something like robin hood-type vigilantes that target the rich and corrupt and protect the innocent. I think that's the closest to their canon personalities, where they actively target the people like van eck, pekka rollins, and tante heleen, and keep them from harming anyone else. it's a bit more hopeful and heroic than how they are in the books (mostly kaz) but I think it works with the superhero genre and the changes I'm making to their backstories <3 and it's a modern au, so that'll also have a factor! (I also want to see kaz scheme his way around cameras and security systems <333 I think that'll be fun to mess with)

first we're gonna talk about kaz!!! his power is touch-based healing. because the symbolism there gripped me and wouldn't let me go. his backstory is pretty similar to canon, except he tried to heal jordie several times, but since kaz himself was sick, he was unable to. the last time he tried to heal his brother was in the harbor when jordie was already dead. kaz started out as a vigilante targeting pekka rollins, but after inej and the others came into the mix, he slowly developed into a hero rather than a vigilante. because he realized that if his friends could give him hope, maybe he could do the same to the city that both destroyed and created him. and I don't know plot details yet but I want there to be a scene where jesper is fatally wounded, like actively bleeding out during a mission, and wylan and everyone are panicking because there's too much blood and not enough time, but then kaz shoves wylan aside, tears off his gloves, and activates his powers for the first time since jordie. but this time it works and jesper's eyes open and he cracks a joke and nina immediately punches him in the shoulder for scaring the hell out of her

now inej!!!! she has a shadow-based power. I haven't decided if she can travel through shadows or just control them. maybe both. but in any case her powers help her be stealthy and scary because you just Don't Know where she's gonna be. her hero name is Wraith <333 her backstory is also fairly similar, with the kidnapping, trafficking, and sexual abuse and enslavement to tante heleen. the key difference here is that instead of joining a gang upon being rescued, she becomes a superhero. and inej is a vigilante targeting those in power just like kaz, but she's also specifically trying to protect people, too. she specifically targets human traffickers, but is still bound to kaz because she doesn't know where else to go since she doesn't want her parents to see her after everything she was forced to do. but then. she helps her friends defeat van eck, and then she realizes that she can do so much more as a hero if she isn't based just in a single city. so she becomes a traveling hero who tracks trafficking rings around the world and systematically dismantles them, one by one

matthias has a spiritual connection to trassel and they fight side by side as a cohesive unit. he started out as a police officer (bleh) who was aiming to take the vigilantes down but after being stranded with one of them (nina ofc) he started leaning more toward their point of view. and he doesn't die because trassel saves him <33 no dead characters here

nina can see/talk to dead people! kinda like klaus from umbrella academy.

aaaaaand those r all my thoughts for now but a wylan and jesper-flavored ramble is coming soon <33

[enderspawn]

ayup lads im still upset abt doomsday fjdsklfjk

lmanberg wasn't irredeemable imo. tommy's exile was prompted mainly by dream and tubbo gave in to prevent a war they werent ready for. butchers army was semi-democratically made (if i remember correctly) and, beyond unrightful execution without trial, arguably HAS a right to try criminals who've acted against the country. yes, there were some issues but it was never beyond reform. quackity was the most corrupt part of the system tbh (like w using butcher army as a way to gain personal power, not as justice for new lmanberg), but without him things like the butchers army likely wouldn't've even existed since tubbo opposed it at first. hell, they were planning another election! an open and fair election for everyone!

but more so than possible lmanberg redemption, ppl acting like its destruction was politically motivated is.. well kind of wrong. maybe partially, but in general i dont think of it as a politically-motived event when you look at every persons motivations.

yes, techno is an anarchist! but 1. a large part of his reason for destroying lmanberg was as revenge against its members (such as the butchers army, and partially feeling betrayed by tommy, "I will repay that injustice 1000 times over") and not due to its existence AS a government and 2. tbh he chose the shittiest form of anarchy: dog-eat-dog, where he doesnt help the individuals empower themselves (admittedly, more so after pogtopia happened) and instead just destroys any power structures they create so that they have to struggle alone to gain power.

i'm sure you can point to feeling betrayed by pogtopia's existence as a reason for techno to not do that again! but like... idk man. if techno as a character was less emotional and reactive, it wasnt too late to try and convince new lmanberg in its formation to abandon its hierarchy instead of immediately turning to withers and destruction. hell, if i remember correctly (though i know its a point of contention and may have been reconned, so ignore if so, but) a few ppl mentioned wanting to coop manburg to get back in power to techno but he ignored them w the idea that they'll "cross that bridge when we come to it". even if thats incorrect, he still did the same thing with tommy before doomsday. he knew the person he allied with did not want the same destruction as him, but instead of trying to convince his ally/allies otherwise, he ignores the issue until its too late and he gets hurt.

i know thats literally just three of c!techno's character flaws, so its pretty damn unlikely to be changed but still something i wanted to mention + bring up, bc its a very valid point when critiquing techno and his actions. his feelings regarding how he was treated by pogtopia was massive in his character and how he treats spreading anarchy: after all, they don't learn via him fighting along side them like brothers (like he said to quackity before their fight). violence is the only universal language they would understand.

c!techno in general as a symbol of anarchy is all abt dismantling, but never about building something new in its place. it means the ppl he helps dont, for lack of a better word, "know better". they make a hierarchy bc its what they know and then techno gets mad they did and destroys it again without ever proposing any kind of compromise. for others, techno's form of anarchy seems like it is solo-people only because they dont know how to have a group in a anarchistic ""techno-approved"" way.

dream was destroying it for personal revenge against the country's existence and to hurt tommy. while yeah you can say that wish for destruction is somewhat political since his grudge goes back to before the revolution, i still say it feels more personal. he doesn't have issue w lmanberg as a government, he has issues w lmanberg due to his own personal ambitions. he wants total control of the server and lmanberg revolts against that hope. plus, destroying lmanberg would help absolutely destroy tommy, which is always a plus for dream who adores harming tommy and sees it as a fun game.

hell, id say PHIL was the most politically motivated, but still a LOT of his motivation is personal first which happened to impact his political opinons (though i admit im incredibly biased towards him/against the other two): he believes people being in positions of power corrupts them (such as wilbur and tubbo) and wanted to remove it to prevent that position harming anyone else. combined with his unresolved grief over losing wilbur and his negative interactions with the butcher army, he ultimately decides to destroy lmanberg itself. remove the source of the issue directly instead of working WITH the citizens to reform away from any kind of direct power. tbh, with past negative experiences, you could say none of the doomsday trio was in a place to work beside lmanberg, but phil is probably the most likely to have (since he was part of lmanberg and (i think??) part of the cabinet briefly). he shows some regret now abt the severity of doomsday, but he doesn't regret he did it because in his eyes he truly needed that hierarchy GONE. a necessary evil. but i doubt hed have that same guilt if they went abt it in a less.... tbh shitty way.

idk man like i said i Hate doomsday, i just. even from an anarchy standpoint its such an ineffective and unsympathic way to deal with it. they dont try to help as people, they help as a destructive force. just remove the source of hierarchy! --and take everyones homes and belongings with it. i sincerely hope w the syndicate moving forward we have more of a empowering the ppl and radicalizing them towards genuine collective anarchy (semi-like pogtopia, in that working with the people) and not just more... "haha government bad blow it up no more government :]]"

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Carl immediately regretted his question. He could tell it was a sensitive subject for the young man as Tristan’s face flashed with fear and anxiety before morphing back into a neutral expression. Tristan seemed to pause in deep thought as he pondered what to tell the two men. Like his spouse Two Brains, Tristan didn’t like discussing his past openly. Finally Tristan let out a small sigh. These two were his husband’s parents. He should at least be honest with them. “As I have explained before, I came from a planet called Lexicon where words are considered to be the most powerful tools we have out our disposal. I have also told you I now consider Earth my home, for a very good reason.” Tristan’s expression became grim. “Life on Lexicon, it’s laws and social structure, is equivalent to your world’s military structures. Ranks on our planet our equal to your political hierarchy. I was from a family of colonels which is equivalent to a duke on your planet." Tristan held back a laugh when he saw how Carl and Matthew's eyes bulged in shock at that part. He remembered how Gene too had freaked out when he found out. It was very humorous to see his reaction. "All Lexiconians are trained to be soldiers and defenders at a very young age. Our rules, reputations, and traditions always come first over our own desires and emotions. For the good of the planet.” Matthew noted a bitter tone in Tristan’s voice. “Of course it doesn’t matter on Lexicon who you fall in love…unless you are put in an arranged marriage.” Tristan’s face darkened. “My father and mother arranged it so as the eldest child, I was to be married to General Navren. Navren though was a crooked soul. He was manipulative, blood thirsty, and a selfish prick. He cared about no one but himself. Our union only served to strengthen the positions of his and my own families. I tried to plead with my parents, beg them to not go through with this as I did not love him at all, but they didn’t care. They knew well how corrupt Navren was, just about everyone did. According to my father, it was my duty and honor to wed General Navren for the good of Lexicon. My feelings on the matter were not important.” Tristan let out a somber sigh. “I only had two friends who listened to me. Navren’s sister Ouleena and my co pilot Captain Huggen Facer, or as you know him Bob aka Captain Huggy Face.” They helped me escape from Navren and from my family. Huggy and I took a ship while Ouleena distracted the guards. I dismantled the guidance and tracking system on the ship. Huggy and I then finally flew away from Lexicon forever. We originally just planned to travel to other worlds, but then Huggy and I hit a lone asteroid by accident which damaged a wing and caused us to crash into Earth. I decided to explore this new planet while Huggy wanted to stay behind to try and repair the damages. We landed near Fair City. I was walking through the streets, observing my surroundings with great interest. It was then I noticed a human about to be unknowingly hit by a truck while crossing the street. I used my super speed to rescue them.” Tristan’s face became blissful as a warm smile grew on his face. “It was there I laid eyes on the man I saved, my first ever true love. That was when I met Gene. He was the first person that loved me for my character. He let me be free to feel what I feel. He gave me hope and a purpose. He was able to show me that I could be allowed to live the life I want and pursue my own interests. Nothing or no one could tell me otherwise. He was the first human to listen to me. It was Gene that made me decide to stay on Earth and make this place my home. We got married, Gene created our daughter Becky the same way he was created, and some time later we married Alex. I finally had the family I always wanted. I was finally happy." @dualnaturedscientist

Everyone was exhausted from the eventful day. Dr.Two-Brains had put the mice pups on a makeshift little bed for them to sleep on. They seemed to have grown attached to both Becky and the mad scientist in the short amount of time they were taking care of them. When they put the mice pups down they squeaked to be picked up again. When they finally fell asleep, full from their dinner, Becky and Dr.Two-Brains quietly left. Though Becky didn't want to leave the pinkies alone. The villain spoke softly. "They will be okay there. I promise. Let's be quiet and let them sleep." Becky stared at her father for a moment. She had a thoughtful expression, following after him. Dr.Two-Brains had put his kid to bed. Once she was tucked in. Bob too. He kissed her forehead goodnight. "Goodnight my little ray of hope. Rest well. I'll never let anyone hurt you anymore. I promise. You'll be safe from now on. I'll never let you out of my sight again." He mumbled this, his eyelids feeling so heavy now. He drifted off to sleep, head on the bed. Becky untucked herself and made herself comfortable near her dad. Bob made himself comfortable as well on the opposite side. Both of them curled up next to him. The others had already left for their own home. Leaving Carl, Steven and Matthew with them. Carl and Steven had been taken to the spare rooms while Matthew had only the couch to sleep on. If he was going to be honest it was still much better than the poor excuse of a bed they forced him to sleep on during his time in Maximum prison. The facility where he was transferred was so much worse. He was going to take what they gave. As his son in law wished, he was on his best behavior. It would stay that way until they didn't need him anymore. The truth was, he wants his kids to be happy. Just like any other parent would. Once he was of no use anymore, he will make sure they never see him again. He'll be far away. Just like they wanted. Despite what happened, Gene was still his favorite. He was so proud that his son turned out to be so brilliant, kind from what he saw. He was still all that despite the mouse brain. His son was strong. Maybe even more than him. He gave in, Dr.Two-Brains didn't give into it for the sake of his daughter. Matthew finally allowed himself to drift to sleep.

The next morning, Matthew was woken up by his son cooking breakfast for everyone. Well everyone but him. He assumed that Gene would want to feed the man he hates. Matthew felt guilt. Over hurting his son like that. Everyone else woke up soon, gathering around the table. Once it was set up, everyone helped themself to the delicious and cheesy meal. Matthew stayed in the living room though. Becky glanced over at him, puzzled why he wasn't joining them. Dr.Two-Brains felt his insides twist. As much as he hates Matthew he couldn't let his little girl panic like that. If he's staying here, he must eat as well. He spoke in a less than enthused tone. "You want your plate over there or are you going to join us?" Matthew blinked owlishly. He saw that the table seemed a bit crowded and he doubted they wanted him to sit with them. "I'll fix up my plate and eat on the couch. Thank you." There was no sarcasm in his tone. He was genuinely thanking his son. After they ate, Matthew and Dr.Two-Brains were alone in the living room. It was tense. Matthew wasn't looking at his son, not wanting to make the situation worse. He didn't see the expression Dr.Two-Brains was wearing. Grim. He wanted answers. He was finally able to ask this question he had been dying to ask for years. "Why did you do it? Why did you massacre all those heroes? Rebecca?" Two-Brains found himself even more emotional, bringing up his late best friend. There was anger in his eyes. Sadness. Hurt. Matthew only felt guilty when it came to his family. He hated seeing them hurt. A thought he always had. If he hadn't massacred the heroes, maybe he could've done something to prevent Carl and Steven from being kidnapped. Prevent Gene from going through all that. "You wish to know? I'll tell you. Just a heads up. I'm telling you why and it's not an excuse for what I did. I'm simply telling you what happened." Matthew paused for a second, frowning at the memory. "A good man died so many years ago. Not one hero shed a tear for someone whose intentions were good. Despite his less than legal ways of achieving his goals, he was on their side. They never saw it that way. It didn't affect him in the least. He still fought for what was good. They said horrible things about him. Yet he never retaliated. Never spoke against them in anger. My uncle. He hated this vigilante just as much. Hated that he was teaching me just as much. I didn't realize it at the time but this vigilante was more of a hero than the others were. Not one of them, including my uncle, mourned for him. They never even mentioned his passing once. The one who killed him, he wasn't going to stop. I had to make him stop. The anger I felt. I wiped him out. With his goons. They didn't care how many lives were lost. That added so much fuel to my hatred of heroes. So much so. It blinded me. Making me no better. I became the malicious monster that my uncle said I was. The rage grew in me. He disowned me. So did my mother. When the rage grew, I only had one thought. One goal. I was unfortunately blinded by this. Not seeing the damage I've done after I executed my plan. All of my rage was released. I don't remember killing most of them. But I know I did. I truly love you and your siblings. Your father, I never stopped loving him. Yet my hatred was stronger. I gave into it. I know this is the consequence of my actions and I accept it. If you wish to get revenge, I won't fight back. Do as you please. I'm truly sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything to you since it's from me. But my apology is genuine. I am sorry. I don't expect forgiveness. But I thought you deserved an apology."

Dr. Two Brains sat stunned at Maddrix's explanation. He had no idea Matthew used to be a hero. None of them did. He didn't know how to react to his apology either. It was a little too late to say sorry. Yet on the other hand, Two Brains could tell he was being serious and genuine. Maddrix's explanation though, it opened up more questions for him as he reflected on his past before the massacre, analyzing Matthew's actions and comparing it to what he knows now. "Is that why you raised me to be a villain? So I wouldn't end up like the heroes you hated so much?" Two Brains asked. Matthew shook his head. "I had that hatred festering, but it wasn't the main reason I raised you to be a villain. I genuinely saw the natural spark and flare you had for villainy at an early age. When you acted sweet and innocent as a cover to get what you want or to get away with biting people that made you mad." Matthew paused a bit as he chuckled a little at the memories. "I honestly lost count of how many people you bit." Two Brains couldn't help but smirk at that. "It was the only way I could get back at those who made me upset. Neither you nor dad would let me gain access to tech until I was 13." Two Brains quipped. Matthew nodded with a bittersweet smile. "True. We were both slightly afraid what you mind would do if we gave you access to tools and tech before you were mature enough to use them." Matthew then frowned. "The true reason was I didn't want you to end up like me. I had a lot of anger and aggression issues when I was growing up. I don't exactly know where they came from. I just know that my uncle nor my mother never gave me the help I needed. My uncle saw me nothing more than a weapon that made him look good until I didn't. My mother was a spineless fool who went along with anything my uncle told her. I wanted to help channel your villainous impulses into something productive. I wanted to give you the helping guidance I never got. Even after you got me arrested. I was miffed yeah but I was never truly mad at you. I'm proud of the person you grown up into. Not because of the villain part. It's because you have a lot more control over your priorities and better restraints over your impulses than I ever did." "So that's why you told dad you were an orphan." Two Brains muttered as he processed what Matthew told him. Maddrix just shrugged. "Well your biological grandfather walked out when I was a toddler and the only true parental figure I had died when I was teenager. It was easier to say I was an orphan than to go into the nitty gritty." Dr. Two Brains leveled Matthew a hardened look. "You kept a lot of secrets from dad, including the part about you and me being villains. I remember you said it was best that no one else in our family knew the truth about our villain work. Even though they wouldn't be bothered about it, you still didn't want them to know. Why was that? Were you afraid of them getting hurt if they knew?" Dr. Two Brains interrogated. Matthew's expression became pale before he turned his gaze away Dr. Two Brains looked at the man with annoyance and confusion for not answering his question in a rude manner. A thought then struck his head. That evasive and somewhat rude reaction. He knew it all too well. "You were afraid dad would hate your for being a villain and kick you out like your mom and uncle did. That was why?" Two Brains muttered quietly. Maddrix didn't reply. He didn't have too. Dr. Two Brains could see clear as day the prickling tears the villain was trying to blink away. Two Brains gave a bitter chuckle. "I guess I did take more after you than I realized." Two Brains mumbled. Both he and Matthew never wanted their loved ones to see the true them, consumed by their fear of being hated and alone by those they cared the most. The difference here, while Two Brains found a better way to cope with his fears and learn to be more open to others, Matthew didn't. @dualnaturedscientist

[softyoongiionly]

Portraits of a Tiger || 03

Legends of a great and equally terrifying warrior nicknamed the Tiger have been emerging from your fellow villagers for quite sometime. Stories of his skill, his stealth and his supposed wickedness have been passed around to the point where he is more prophecy than person. You have lived your life with a strong sense of conviction, rarely letting gossip influence your opinion. However, you would be lying if you said that his legacy didn’t intrigue you. When the Tiger and his infamous army arrive in your village to refuel, you come face to face with the man behind the myth.

And no amount of marketplace gossip would ever be enough to capture the true complexity of his nature.

Pairing: Merchant! Reader x Warrior! Yoongi

Genre: Adventure, Romance, Smut (later), Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: language, depictions of violence both verbal and physical however they are fairly mild, mentions of war and power dynamics, there will be smut in future parts so, (18+ only please).

A/N: They are back and realer than ever I AM ACTUALLY NOT OK RIGHT NOW PLEASE CRY WITH ME IN MY ASK BOX. OK LOVE YOUUUU!!!

@bulletproofbirdy​ my sweet and beautiful friend! I owe this all to you. Never doubt your brain because, its freaking genius. I love you.

“What did they say?” Yoongi asks, his lips resting on the back of his hand as he leans onto the wooden table.

Seokjin sighs, “They said that they have observed these groups using similar tactics. Rachel has noticed that they encircle the perimeter of the village first and slowly work their way in, Y/N agreed with her observation.”

“Usually raiders blitz their way into a territory, right? We’re obviously dealing with something else here...” Hoseok interjects, looking to his General for answers.

Yoongi’s features tense up, his hand moving to settle onto the table, “I don’t understand what invaders would want with this territory-” He seems to grow irritated, his eyes transfixed upon a map of their current region, “it’s several miles from any meaningful trade route, the port is at least 20 hours by horseback; it makes absolutely no sense.”

Before anyone else can intervene, Yoongi turns his attention to Namjoon, who sits at the other end of the table, his brows furrowed in concentration as he scribbles furiously in his journal.

“What do you think of this?” Yoongi murmurs.

Namjoon doesn’t look up, he just continues his current task as he responds, “I think it’s time I pay the Meddleways a visit...”

Immediately, tension spreads amongst the group.

Yoongi shakes his head, “I don’t think that’s necessary Namjoon, they-”

Namjoon looks up, pointing his gaze directly at Yoongi, “They are still a threat, hyung. Vengeance is a messy motive sure but, it’s extremely powerful. If they are influenced solely by their desire to harm you for what you did with their leader, they will stop at nothing until their objective is complete.”

The Meddleways were an extremist group that had a nasty habit of weaseling their way into vulnerable villages and, attempting to coax the inhabitants into joining what is essentially a cult. The Queens got wind of their practices and immediately tasked Yoongi’s fleet with understanding more of what they were capable of. Enter Namjoon, posing as a medicine man from the East port who sought after a spiritual awakening. Namjoon lived with the group for just under two weeks before he realized the true nature of the group. Their mission was simple: infiltrate the target village, strip the surrounding area of natural resources and, dismantle their leadership and, infiltrate their religious systems.

They were essentially, a very deadly gang of power-hungry miscreants whose true objective was to expand their influence and take over the Queens territory, which would inevitably lead to the fall of the royal family.

It’s no surprise that once Namjoon reported his findings, the Queens were understandably horrified and moved them all the way up Yoongi’s watchlist.

Due to the trust Namjoon had built with them, they didn’t think twice when he suggested that they accelerate their course to get to the village due to the oncoming storm. He led them right into the trap of the Tiger himself; well, the Tiger and his 22,000 men.  

Namjoon also made a carefully crafted choice to avoid revealing himself as a traitor, should any of the remaining members (those who weren’t slain or arrested) decide to regroup and continue their leader’s mission.  

“Do you really think their motive to settle the score is enough for them to endanger their own lives over? I told them that if they continued their work, they would meet the same fate as their brethren.” Yoongi’s voice is tired but he tries to remain alert for the sake of his fleet.

Namjoon nods, “I do. That is the way they operate. I don’t doubt that they reconvened after the fall of Xansa. They have likely moved on to someone else.”

Xansa.

At the sound of his name, Yoongi sighs uneasily and shakes his head as the scar along his eye ignites with the memory of its inception.

Xansa was the leader of the Meddleways: the brains, the heart and the soul.

Namjoon warned Yoongi of his cruelty after witnessing the way he treated his followers. His charisma was as deadly as his blade and his need for power dripped from his aura like coagulated blood.  

He was ruthless.

From what Namjoon could gather, he alone had hundreds of deaths upon his hands. His plan wasn’t just to expand his influence; he sought after total domination.

Yoongi fought him during their capture of the Meddleways and it’s one of the few times throughout Yoongi’s career that he genuinely thought he was going to die.  

He survived and killed Xansa in the middle of a thunderstorm, in front of all of his followers, just as the local stories have told.

Xansa left his mark on Yoongi however and ensured that he never forgot the time his life was almost ripped from him.  

“As of now, I don’t think we have enough evidence to prove this theory Namjoon but, I will consider your input and ask that you alert me of any other ideas you might have. For the time being, I don’t want anyone of you away from the fleet. If there truly is a new group of invaders on the horizon, they will look for any excuse to shed blood and prove their power. Understood?”

The six of them nod, lips tight with concentration as they listen intently to their General.

Yoongi values the opinions of his men very much and they know that they are free to speak as often as they see fit. At the end of the day however, Yoongi has the final say. He is their leader and his word is gold. They trust him enough to follow his orders without question, even if they don’t always understand his intentions.

Yoongi lets out another breath before nodding towards the exit of the tent, “Eat well tonight and turn in early. Training will get harder tomorrow as we will be teaching the recruits how to disarm their opponent. Jungkook-ah,” He turns to his younger brother, “I need you awake before dawn to assist me with the morning briefing.”

Jungkooks smiles, his head bobbing with an eager nod, “Yes hyung.”

Yoongi resists the fondness that blooms in his chest, patting a hand on back, “Very good. Namjoon- please continue exploring further theories and prepare for a possible journey to your connections when I deem it safe to do so. Hoseok, you can take the morning off but I will need you out here by midday to continue your classes. Jin hyung, I need you to enter the village and gather more information on their recent raids. The village leaders are located near the market plaza. Jimin and Taehyung, you will be with me most of the day as I will need to use you in my demonstrations.”

“Should I tell Y/N to halt her deliveries then? Since we will all be preoccupied?” Jin inquires hesitantly.

The bread supply is already depleted, and he is unhappy at the thought of going without it, particularly after a hard day’s work.

“I doubt Hyung would refuse a visit from her. Even on such a busy day...” Jimin smirks, wrapping an arm around Taehyung who chuckles warmly.

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “It makes no difference to me whether or not she does her delivery.”

Jin throws an incredulous look his way, “Yoongi. You aren’t seriously going to pretend she hasn’t caught your attention are you?”

Namjoon is scribbling in his journal again but he doesn’t miss a beat as he murmurs his input, “Hyung is worried that getting involved with a civilian will be complicated so, he is concealing his emotions for her because it’s easier that way. However, he will probably leave during our meal tonight to go see her because, he is captivated. According to the shift in his body language, he also has strong sexual urges for her as well but, fears that getting involved with her in such a way would be irresponsible as he still has time left in the Queens Army.”

He doesn’t even look up from his journal as he psychoanalyzes his hyung. His tone is cool and almost detached but his lips twitch with a smile as soon as Jimin and Taehyung begin laughing.

Yoongi is unable to help the shock that colors his features, his cheeks reddening with the heat of embarrassment as he watches the rest of his fleet begin to laugh at his expense.

“Did I miss anything?” Namjoon looks up finally, smirking across the table.

They expect Yoongi to rush out of the tent in a fit of denial but, instead he slumps back in his chair, his own smirk decorating his features as he stares at Namjoon across the table, “Just one thing...”

Namjoon’s brows raise, “Oh? Enlighten me please...”

Yoongi chuckles, moving his finger in a come hither motion to prompt the rest of his fleet to lean in eagerly.

They aren’t used to their leader sharing his emotions so, they are besides themselves at the thought of hearing more.

“That I would feel an immense amount of displeasure when being psychoanalyzed by my own solider which would then result in the punishment of the entire fleet in the form of hmm-” Yoongi places a finger on his chin in thought, “running drills for 2 hours after training tomorrow? Does that sound about right to you Namjoon?”

The group groans, Jin’s eyes widening in horror, “Namjoon-ah! Look what you’ve done!”

Namjoon however doesn’t flinch though, he just chuckles as him and Yoongi exchange conversation through shared eye contact.

“Hyung, please...” Jimin whines, reaching for Yoongi’s hand, “Don't make us do that, I hate running- it's not even in my job description.”

Yoongi just quirks a brow, a smirk still on his lips, “If you’d like me to stay out of your plans for the day, I suggest you stay out of mine. Is that something you think you all could manage?”

“Oh yes, absolutely hyung- no problem.”

“Who’s y/n? Never heard of her...”

“Hyung you are always right; that’s why we trust you, you know? You are the world’s greatest general.”

“We won't say anything, we promise.”

Yoongi chuckles, his eyes glinting with a bit of fondness, “Namjoon?”

Namjoon nods, lifting his hands to concede despite the grin still on his mouth, “Your words are divine my General.”

A phrase very often said in the fleet’s initial training with Yoongi.

It was a psychological tactic he used to build trust between him and his trainees but now, so many years later, it’s looked upon with humor.

“Good.” He stands, a look of complete satisfaction on his face, “Eat your meal and then it’s straight to bed. I better not see any empty cots when I return...”

There is quite a bit of movement in the tent as Yoongi makes his way to the exit, with the rest of his fleet (sans Namjoon) quickly abiding by his orders.  

As Yoongi pushes aside the cloth door of the tent, the light from the full moon hanging over their camp causes him to turn around.

“Yah-” He nods to Namjoon, his finger pointing through the opening of the tent, “it’s a full moon.”

Namjoon perks up, shoving his journal aside hastily and practically tripping over his own feet as he stumbles eagerly towards Yoongi.

Before Namjoon brushes past him, he looks at Yoongi with a sheepish smile and bows his head,

“Thank you hyung...”

Yoongi smirks fondly, tipping his head in return, “Send her my best.”

Namjoon’s smile broadens, nodding eagerly before rushing out towards the moon.

As cold as Namjoon may seem, he too has a lover on his mind.

Danielle.

Childhood sweetheart who became his wife as soon they were 18.

Through various aspects of Namjoon’s personal faith, he believes that the fastest way to communicate with her is through the moon. The moon has the strongest gravitational pull when it’s at its fullest so Namjoon usually spends most of those nights, speaking with her until sunrise.

He sends letters too but, the moon brings him comfort.

Just as she does.  

Yoongi chuckles at his eagerness, watching him until he finds a place near the edge of their camp to sit and begin.

Speaking of lovers on the mind...

As much as Yoongi hates to be predictable, he would be lying if he said that Namjoon’s assumptions of him had been incorrect.  

He will be going to see you tonight.  

Even though he isn’t certain of where things might be headed between the two of you, he can’t help but wish to be near you again.  

Captivated was the word Namjoon had used and as Yoongi starts on the path towards the river, he grins to himself; captivated truly was the perfect word.  

You weren’t exactly sure if Yoongi would show up at the River tonight.

It’s not like the two of you had an agreement to meet.

In fact, the last time you saw him, he was doing his nightly walk and rather than stopping to say hello to you, he merely smiled and bowed his head in your direction.

The two of you had held hands the night before so, you figured that maybe something were to happen between you but, then again, maybe he was just looking for comfort.

Or attention.

You don’t imagine he experiences the physical touch of another person unless it’s during battle, which can’t be a very pleasurable experience.  

As you slip your shoes off near the entrance of the river, your heart flutters at the association of Yoongi and pleasure in the same sentence. You know you’re likely only causing your own suffering to think of him this way but, you can’t help it.

You want him.  

You really do and with everything you have, you hope he wants you too.

The stickiness on the back of your neck pulls you out of your thinking as it reminds you of the incredibly hot day you’ve just worked through.  

Towards the end of summer, the sun decides to give an encore of what has been an already sweltering and humid season. The week before it begins to cool down, the temperature comfortable and breezy before your region is hit with one final heat wave. Today, in the marketplace you quite literally salivated over the thought of cooling down in the river that evening.  

The river is often packed during days like today but once the sun sets, everyone heads back to their homes.  

That is when you choose to come by.  

It’s quite peaceful in the evening, the heat is still present but bearable and the slight breeze that whistles through the trees provides solace on your flushed skin.  

You don’t plan on fully submerging yourself because, you aren’t entirely fond of the idea of your feet being suspended in the deep and dark waters of the river.

Instead, you opt to wear a blue linen set that you often wearing during warmer months which will allow you to wade in the water without getting your clothes wet.

The river runs cold all year round, freezing over during the winter time but the cool sensation is welcome against the tips of your toes. You step further in, letting out a deep sigh and allow yourself to shut your eyes as you wade further into the water.

The water surrounds your ankles and just as it begins to slowly surround your calves, you hear the low melody of a voice you have waited for all day.

“Y/N?” Yoongi calls gently and it makes you grin because, you can sense he is actively trying not to scare you again.

Turning around, you are met with the sight of him; hair pulled back, white linen pants and a tighter fitting black shirt. It’s the first time you're seeing his arms and immediately, you’re able to recognize the symbols of both his strength and his experience. His skin looks beautiful in the moonlight, the sinewy dips of his muscles travelling alongside the colors of his veins, various scars littering the surface of his arms.  

He truly is something else entirely.

“Thank you for warning me this time instead of sneaking up on me.” You tease, the water sloshing as you turn your back to the river.

His lips twitch, “I’ve never snuck up on you before, you just aren’t as prepared as you should be, especially for someone who likes to wander out into the forest by themselves...”

“The forest is technically that way.” You quip, pointing through the trees.

Finally, his lips crack with a grin as he shakes his head at you, “Technically it is but, danger can lurk around every corner.”

You can’t but giggle, feeling rather giddy in his presence, “You make a good point- the fluffy squirrels and chirping birds are truly vicious creatures...”

He rolls his eyes then and shakes his head once more, a light chuckle leaving his lips as he steps towards you.

But as he’s opening his mouth to speak, you drop the bit of sarcasm in your tone.

“How was your day?”

Yoongi feels a bit of warmth in his chest as he genuinely can’t remember the last time someone asked him that question.

Immediately however, he is hit with a pang of anxiety, the conversation he had with his men coming back into his mind.

Looking upon your warm expression, he fully appreciates your beauty.

The curves of your face, the sincerity in your gaze, the small smile on your lips...

He knows you’re capable of holding your own but, after hearing of a possible threat, he is infected with the need to protect you.  

“It was fine. How was your day?” He attempts to reign in the worry in his tone, feeling very confident in his ability to conceal his true emotions.

He should know better...

“What’s wrong?” You ignore his inquiry regarding your day, stepping towards him once more, unsure of how close you should get.

He chuckles and shakes his head, “Nothing. Why do you think something is wrong?

“You look troubled-” Pointing a finger towards his face, you soften your tone, “Is something bothering you?”

Yoongi feels strangely emotional at your concern, still not fully understanding your interest in his feelings.  

He doesn’t want to lie to you but, he also doesn’t want to spend his time with you talking about potential danger.

Besides, he really would like to hear about your day.

“It’s nothing. Just had a meeting with my men earlier, things got a little tense that’s all.” He assures you before extending a hand your way, “I’m off-duty now though and I’d really like to hear about your day if that’s alright...”

The sight of his hand sends butterflies down your throat and into your stomach before you interlock your fingers with his a little too eagerly.

He chuckles warmly, noticing your excitement and gently pulls you closer to him.  

Being near Yoongi feels almost familiar.

It’s comforting and slightly intoxicating as the skin of his forearm brushes along the inside of yours.

The two of you begin following the length of the river, your plans and shoes suddenly forgotten.

“My day was ok...” You begin, tilting your head, “the heat was unbearable though. I thought I was going to faint in the middle of the plaza today. Ugh and then Jane kept going on about how I needed to find a husband and start a family, ‘ You aren’t getting any younger you know? Sooner or later you’re going to end up a spinster peddling night shade for a decent meal’ “ Your face scrunches up as you imitate the very unique tone of Jane’s voice and it causes Yoongi to chuckle warmly beside you, amusement coloring his features.

“Don’t laugh!” You whine, leaning into him but, your mouth is already pulling up into a smile, “She’s relentless!”

Yoongi continues laughing, using his finger to flick a tear from the corner of his eye, “She is quite abrasive. I actually like that about her but-” He points at you, “She shouldn’t be harassing you about your marital status. I assume that you’re unmarried by choice...”

There go the butterflies again.

“Why do you assume that?”

Yoongi glances at you before returning his gaze on the path you two are on. The corner of his mouth is pulled up into a smile as he lets out a breath, “I’m mainly assuming that there have been other suitors you’ve crossed paths with. You don’t seem like the type of person to settle or the type of person who makes decisions based on the opinions of others.”

As flattered as you are by his statement, there is one particular thing that captures your attention.

“Other suitors?” You raise your brows, stealing a glance his way in time to see him fully grin.

“Yes,” He nods, tightening his features with sincerity, “other.”

You feel your stomach doing back flips, the giddiness bubbling inside you threatening to explode but instead of jumping for joy like you want to, you merely squeeze his hand and offer him a grin in return.  

The moment is over as soon as it begins as Yoongi looks down at your feet before frowning and turning back towards where the two of you had first met tonight.

“Where are your shoes? Why did you take them off?”

You giggle, “I was about to wade into the river to cool off, I don’t normally keep my shoes on while I do that.”

His frown falters a bit when you giggle but, he halts your movements none the less, “You could step on something, it’s dark out here...”

“It’s not that dark.” You insist, turning your body so you are face to face with him, “I walk through this area all the time.”

Yoongi feels his breath hitch as the proximity between the two of you lessens. He isn’t prepared for the feelings swirling inside of him or the ease of access he now has to your forehead, your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your lips...

He would love nothing more than to place his mouth on every feature.

On every inch.

He clears his throat, “Fine. We’ll walk slower then so, at least if you step on something- it won’t be so hard.”

His solution makes you laugh again but it also pleases you.

You like that he doesn’t try to force his opinion on you and that he trusts your judgement.

“Fair enough.” You concede, reluctantly turning so the walk can continue, “How was the bread today by the way? I added a bit more garlic this time...”

He nods immediately, patting his stomach, “It was delicious. This batch was completely mauled by my fleet- my little brother in particular shoved at least 10 pieces into his mouth.” He chuckles, shaking his head, “I’m convinced that boy is part animal or something, he certainly behaves like one.”

Giggling, you mimic him and shake your head as well, “Or he just really likes bread. I would probably behave like an animal if I were deprived of carbs of 6 months out of the year.”

“It’s more like 10 months out of the year.” He corrects, “We only return to the kingdom during blizzard season or if one of us is injured.”

Your eyes widen, “Really? I thought members of the Queen’s army rotate every six months. You only take a break for two months out of the year?”

Yoongi chuckles at your surprise, “Yes-” He nods, “We are considered uh- special forces. The Queens employ us full time. The fleet I oversee of the Royal Army- they rotate quite often but the seven of us operate March through December.”

Kissing your teeth, you can’t help the genuine look of concern on your face, “How long have you been doing this?”

His eyes narrow, “Hm- I think I’m going on ten years now...yeah. I joined when I was 18.” He nods in agreement with himself, “This is my last year of service.”

Your heart jumps to your throat, “Really?!” The volume of your voice climbs dangerously high and it causes Yoongi to laugh, his eyes widening.

“Does that excite you?”

“I mean-” You bite your lip, trying to figure out if his retirement is something you should celebrate, “is it something you’re looking forward to?”

He smirks, eyes glinting with amusement, “It is.”

“Then yes,” You decide, stopping the pace of your walk so you can turn towards him, “it does excite me.”

His smirk never falters, whilst his free hand moves to trace down the length of your arm, seeking the grasp of your fingers. His touch leaves a trail of fire on your flesh, your other hand eagerly intertwining with his.  

“Oh? Why does it excite you?”  

The tone of his voice lightens; it’s playful and almost a little taunting as he leans in towards your face.

“Um-” You clear your throat, stepping closer to him so that your toes are almost touching his, “Because maybe, I would get to see you more. If you were retired...”

Yoongi’s eyes soften, the back of his thumb brushing over your knuckles, “Hm. So, she’d like to see me more...”

“I really would.” You confirm, the look in his eye offering you some confidence in your next move.  

Swallowing back your nerves, you take the hand you’re currently holding and guide them to your hips.

Without a word, you place your freed hands on the ball of his shoulders, sliding them inwards towards the base of his neck. As the two of you make eye contact, you feel his grip on your hips tighten, his big hands feeling the flesh there for the first time. The movement of your fingers causes him swallow, the Adams apple bobbing in his throat whilst his tongue pokes out to wet his lips, only making them more inviting.  

The seam of your top would make it so easy for him to slip his fingers beneath it to feel your skin for real but, instead he merely flexes his fingers just enough for the tips of them to press into your body.  

In your own attempt to explore his skin, your fingertips brush the soft skin at the junction between the base of his throat and his shoulder, your palms lying flat on his collar bones.

He lets out a shaky breath, a small chuckle leaving his lips as he forces his eyes away from yours.

“You’re making this very difficult...” Yoongi murmurs.

You slow your motions on him, “I’m making what difficult?”

He’s still looking away, but his hands squeeze your hips, anchoring them in place to stop them from wandering as he wishes to.

“I’m trying to court you properly but, now you’ve gone and put my hands on you...” He smirks, his feline-like eyes darting back to yours, “you aren’t even giving me a chance here.”

His accusatory tone causes you to giggle, your fingers inching closer to brush against the hair at the nape of his neck, “Who’s to say what’s proper?”

“Societal decorum, your parents, my parents, our friends- “ He chuckles, glancing up towards the sky, “whatever god is in my head right now, shaming me for the thoughts I’m having.”

“Any god who shames you for your desires is no god of mine...and besides,” You breathe, leaning up towards his lips, “we’re the only ones who get to decide what’s proper for us.”

He sighs, his breath close enough to wisp across your mouth, the proximity intoxicating.

“I should have known the day I met you that you make your own rules...” He smirks, the need to press his lips against yours nearly unbearable. He nods to you then, raising his brows, “What do you think is proper for us in this moment? Since we’ve already disregarded decency.”  

Another giggle leaves your lips and without thinking you move the rest of the way so that your mouth lingers just in front of his own, “I think it’s proper for you to kiss me- for the first time, underneath the full moon.”

At your boldness his heavy gaze widens slightly as a sharp breath leaves his lips before pushes them onto you.

Immediately, lightening shoots through the center of your spine, exploding into your heart, your hands on his shoulders tightening significantly, his own grip on your hips following suit.

Your bodies press together as your lips tuck in and move against each other. The tip of your nose rubs unceremoniously on the bridge of his own, the kiss deepening with a mutual sigh between the two of you.  

Your chest is pushing against the linen of his shirt, your body coming to life as he begins walking you backwards towards the large willow tree standing proudly near the river. When your back presses against the rough bark, you take the opportunity to slide your nails up his neck and into his hair, careful not to ruin the state of his ponytail too much. Your touch elicits a very faint groan from him, his teeth nibbling against your bottom lip.

With the increase of your breathing, you press him closer to you, pushing your breasts into him, hoping that he will take the hint and continue touching you. His hands merely squeeze at your hips, holding you steady against his body whilst his tongue brushes your bottom lip.

He’s requesting entrance into your mouth, which you gladly grant, parting your lips and sliding your own tongue along his. The two of you play in each others mouths, it’s slow and almost messy and it causes your fingers to tighten in his hair, wishing desperately that you could run your fingers through it properly.

Yoongi’s heart feels as though it's going to give out from all the sensations he’s feeling, his resolve weakening by the second, all thoughts of decorum leaving his conscious.  

The bark of the tree is digging into your back, but you can barely feel it; your mind is too full of Yoongi. His hands begin inching up your torso, almost massaging his way up, his grasp tightening further as he resists the urge to move his hips.  

But he can already feel the blood pooling between his legs, and he knows that things are already going too far so when you slide your leg up to hitch it around his waist, he finally pulls away.  

Breathing heavily, the two of you rest your foreheads on one another, lust swirling in the air around you.

“Why did you stop?” You pout, pecking at his lips.

Yoongi chuckles into your lips, leaning away slightly to press a kiss to your nose and then your forehead and as his mouth lingers there, he responds, “I have to maintain some level of decency- I am a man of the royal family.”

Like a spoiled child, you slump back against the tree, your lips still pouted as your hands return to his shoulders, “The royal family is miles away...besides, we were just kissing.”

Yoongi’s raspy laugh makes you want to kiss him even more while the fondness in his gaze makes you want to grin like an idiot.

“Your little suggestion to kiss me was turning into something else entirely and you know that.” He accuses playfully, bringing a thumb over your cheek.

“Were you not enjoying it?” You point out, dancing your fingers over his chest and he rolls his eyes, catching your hand in his own.

“You know very well that I was enjoying it.” He smirks, glancing down between the two of you at his semi-hard length pushing against his linen pants, “I am a man of my word however and I meant what I said about courting you properly.”

The sight of his length removes all moisture from your mouth, most of it seeming to reallocate between your legs.

“But you’re-!” You almost whine, wanting nothing more than to resume your earlier encounter.

He chuckles once more, bringing your fingers to his lips, “I am.” He concedes, dragging his lips over the back of your knuckles, “your lips are lethal.”

Your focus hones in on the wet lips currently pressing kisses against your hand but, your stubborn nature wishes to press the issue further.

“Then why did you stop?”

Yoongi smirks, “Because it’s not proper to have each other now, even when I want you as bad as I do-” He kisses between the junction of your pointer and middle finger, brows raising at the sight of your pouted lips, “Why are you still pouting?”

“Because...” You sigh, licking your lips, “I already told you I didn’t care what others thought I-”

Yoongi chuckles again but this time, the sound is darker, “Y/N, when I tell you that we should wait, it isn’t because of the opinions of others it’s because...” He pauses, licking his tongue between your fingers, sending a shock wave between your thighs, “I couldn’t possibly pleasure you properly against this tree...”

You let out shaky breath, leaning into him once more, “I believe you could.”

He grins, kissing over the spot he just licked, returning your hand to his shoulder, “Oh do you now?”

“Mhm.” You hum, giggling as he pinches your hips, your fingers clasping behind his neck.

He leans over, kissing your lips gently before pulling back to secure your gaze, “Be patient my sweet girl...” His voice drops to a whisper, “...and let our fairytale develop a little longer.”

You can’t help but embrace him then, tucking your face into his neck, “I’m sorry if I’m so eager...I’ve just never felt this way before.”

He chuckles warmly, easing you away from the trees so he can rub your back, “Please don’t be sorry. This is new territory for me as well. We can navigate it together ok? My fleet has to move on in a few weeks but, it will only be a few months until I can make it back to you. After that- we'll have all the time in the world.”

Nodding, you press a kiss to his neck, tightening the embrace, not wanting to let go, “Why do you have to be such an accomplished solider General Min? Mediocrity could have really worked in your favor...”

He laughs again, the sound warming you from the inside out, “Terribly sorry mam. I had no anticipation of being captivated by a smart-mouthed apothecary during a refuel stop.”

“Oh so I’ve captivated you have I?” You tease, your fingers walking slowly across his back.

He smiles, turning his head to kiss the side of your head, “To put it very lightly yes- yes you have.”

Captivated was the word Namjoon had used and it truly was the perfect word.  

Absolutely perfect.

[lunar-lair]

ok say hello to my insanely new oc who ive made entirely to be a villain who is still an excellent adult and a decent parent, probably. cares too much abt kids. think reigen mob psycho with a drop or two of milla. worked under Nick From The Mailroom and was actually in on his scheme.

has always been rather cold and brash towards adults, but is more caring towards kids. in my brain he has a brooklyn type accent? rough and tumble, walks around without a tie, yknow? they keep him cause he sorts mail real good, though.

(added a read more because this got INSANELY LONG AKSKSK i spent like an hr on this h)

he was a delugeionist, but only because he kinda just wanted to rip the world apart a little; lysandre vibes, thinks a lot of it is scum and needs to go. thinks the *psychonauts* are scum and need to go. hes psychic but suppressed it, think aquato parents but extra toxic about it, and straight up just saying being psychic is unnatural. wouldnt go to loboto parent lengths tho. so he adopted that thought of 'being psychic is unnatural and wrong', which contributed to a lot of self hate that was never learned out. likely, he realizes hes a shitty person and thinks he needs to go too. so like...yknow hank, dbh? kinda the vibe im gettin right now. way more formal, of course, and while usually gruff, is more polite when its needed; can and *will* beat the shit out of you verbally in a factual way, though, and can talk more street-lingo if hes talkin to real thugs. (probably winged it on his own after failing college or smth, hes got the vibes.)

anyways, its this plot where he slinks off and starts planting mistrust in the psychonauts or something. and inevitably he just...shows up and starts kidnapping people. dismantling things from the inside and all that. he left and formed a group who also hated psychics at some point, likely friends of his parents and friends of friends, all from his hometown. all of them fight *insanely* dirty, and a lot of them are insanely vulgar. the kids are supposed to be kept away.

but theres a line to follow here.

this man is a fold to raz. hates the psychonauts, hates being psychic, adopted his parent's hate of psychics, hates the *world.* raz is young and unburdened and unjaded...mostly. hes not the shock of water some young characters can be when it comes to being the foils of other characters; think steven with a villain or something, right? but raz is sassy and a little jaded, and not total sunshine positivity.

hes a child this man could look down on and not be immediately annoyed by, who is worried by yet respects raz's realization of the world as it is, however little that is.

and yet raz is still his foil. he still mostly loves the psychonauts, despite it all, he loves being psychic, for the most part, he dodged adopting his parents previous values, he still seems to have an even view of the world as a whole.

raz is jaded, if only a little, but he moved past it and accepted that things could still be bright. this man is jaded, but he stayed in his stormclouds, never looked for the sun.

ok where. was i. RIGHT ok so. at the beginning of this...story? the man finds raz being talked down to by one of the office workers; someone with weak psychic powers whos insanely jealous of his prowess. an adult who envies the young prodigy. and theyre giving him some insane task to do, like cleaning all of the closets within the hour, but hes saved the world twice, so he smiles and nods along, because he said he would help around the motherlobe, and this adult is asking him to do something that seems simple enough.

and this guy, internally, goes 'bitch.' for a good long second bc 1. dude even if you envy a kid, kinda fucked to show that?? not their fault 2. WHY are you asking a 10 year old to do that. why is there a 10 year old here. holy shit thats a 10 year old oh my god hes so tiny (no one told him there was a 10 year old because they knew hed stomp right up to management but. regardless. he is going to stomp up to management after this and no one can really stop him. except maybe raz well see)

so yknow. dude fixes his slight slouch and walks forward and politely tells this woman that 1. hes 10 why are you jealous of him and 2. hes 10????????? and shes like shit hes 10. and apologizes. and walks away

and raz is VERY ?? bc she was doing what? why is him being 10 important? and its that young part of you that gets pissed when people try to keep you from doing things because youre young and hes DEFINITELY yet to learn that piling responsibilites that should be handled by adults onto a child is fucked up in its own special way (looking at you ford, *nick*)

and the dude calmly explains because yea. he gets that. and he still sounds gruff and a little peeved but he squats down to razs height and he talks simply and factually, telling him straight on why it isnt right.

and. huh. people dont really do that for raz. except for sasha, sometimes, everyone likes to dodge the truth a lot with him, because hes 10, and sometimes, hes too nice to tug it out of them.

and this guy, this man that raz is already polishing a trophy for 'good adulting' in the back of his brain with his striking statements about how adults should handle things and kids should-kids should...get to have fun. not be traumatized.

for the shock on his face when raz said hed already saved the world a couple times, whats some closets. he reigned it in, said that its weird he saved the world, because thats usually their jobs.

and this guy offers his hand on instict before he stands up, even though he doesnt seem very sweet and kind like the adults that usually offer raz a hand. and he takes it, i think. he takes it.

warm. warm, a little nice.

reminds raz of his dad, maybe. he wonders if this man has any kids himself, but keeps his mouth shut, because he thinks he already has the answer, and its yes.

(he doesnt have any. he would wish he did, but he knows hed fail to raise them right.)

and when he stands, he asks raz what he was asking that woman for, and he says hes doing tasks around the motherlobe because his papers are still coming in. the man doesnt ask. (he knows what 'papers' means, realizes this is the tiny junior psychonaut every room in the damn place has been buzzing about, and he has fucking words for forsythe.) he just offers for the kid to sort mail under his supervision.

and that sounds boring. at least, it usually would.

this man is interesting, and a good...person? a good adult? hes...hes new. hes new, and calm, and a little like sasha but a lot not, and he thinks he trusts him.

so raz grins and says yea, mail sorting sounds nice.

(debatably, raz does not take his hand. hes too jaded when it comes to adults. debatably, he does not feel any warmth from this man who has taught him every adult has been telling him wrong. debatably, im projecting. but thats the whole point of ocs, hm?)

and then holes crop up in motherlobe systems. people are kidnapped.

raz keeps seeing the strange man, keeps telling him things, keeps hearing back, gruff and factual and a little annoyed, but raz can almost-just-barely tell its not at him, with the way he talks.

he can tell. he can tell.

he can never tell. this man is making sure he can tell.

raz trusts the man, is still polishing that trophy for 'best adulting' he has settling in the back of his mind.

and then the man comes with a militia.

he did not seem jaded. he did not seem hateful. he never showed any anger or hate towards raz.

but thats because he knows kids dont deserve it.

an excellent moral or two. a rotten, broken heart.

and at first, they keep the kids away, because these people fight dirty, because this isnt their battle, because the man has been sending emails about why 15 year olds are in a secret psychic agency.

(he does not mention raz. by razs second visit, he had just marked the boy down as another reason to hate the psychonauts as a whole, and especially its higher ups.

hes also regretting his alliance to nick by about the third. if he had known the man would puppet a child as if they were a toy, he would have organized his own rebellion ages ago.)

but eventually, the psychonauts need all hands on deck.

they send the children to find the missing agents.

the interns are fought on the way. some of them avoid the child, know the boss would pummel them.

they get to the base, and the strange man, the one with the broken trophy for 'best adult' (still barely-polished, because hes still so sure) still nestled in the back of razs brain, is still there.

the junior psychonauts are spotted. one of the guards throws a few rocks aimlessly.

they surprise them. one almost hits raz.

its intercepted instead.

and the other junior psychonauts watch as this man, their enemy, a villain, in their eyes, reprimands the other man for even accidentally daring, for even trying. for doing something they might have done just a month or so ago, if they had decided he was too much weirder than they already had.

and he yells something like, "Why the hell is he even here?! This is an enemy base, of whats a rebellion! This is a *10 year old*! What kind of adult sends a child *near* something like that?!" and he truly sounds angry this time, raz finds. hes too angry to keep it in. he still sounds gruff and oddly proper. raz is standing there, arms hanging. hes baffled in a specific way, the way he was every time the man's brow furrowed when he mentioned a harrowing story, the way he was the first day they met.

and he asks, a little quiet, a little small, a reminder of how young he really is, "Why are you still trying to keep me safe? We're supposed to be enemies now."

And his brow furrows further before flattening out, and he tilts onto one leg, and he swears he almost kneels to a knee.

He cant believe it. He really cant.

"You're 10." he says simply, softly, that factual way. "You shouldn't even be here."

and raz pauses. the interns freeze.

"...well, here I am."

and i think...it would be so intriguing if this was done halfway out of the mind, because this man is so against anything psychic. it would be so *compelling.*

so raz steps forward and asks again, asks why hes doing this.

and the mans eyes harden, he tries to turn off that soft heart, trying to remind himself of all that he hates. because he hates the psychonauts, because he sort of hates the world.

and raz asks why he could ever hate the psychonauts, head tilted, before listing off the few he knows to be true. but other than that, how? and ok, the world sucks a little, yea, hes seen that, gets that.

and he appreciates that this kid isnt totally gung ho about existence.

but he hates that he isnt, too.

and its this back and forth. everything the man hates, why he hates it. raz saying why its good but admitting why its bad.

and hes swayed, just a little.

but the man stands up from the kneel hed inevitably instinctively put himself into, and walks forward, hand held out yet again.

"You shouldn't be in the Psychonauts," he tells him, soft, factual, brow furrowed. "Come with me. I'll bring you back to your parents, or wherever it is you want to go."

raz contemplates. thinks, for a long moment.

he grabs the mans hand, warm and firm, yet again, for a terrifying moment.

before he reaches up to slap a mental door on his forehead, and astral projects into it.

he thinks this man is good. thinks hes just jaded.

thinks hes the best adult hes ever met, one who just happens to hate a lot of things.

hes only 10.

hes not letting someone who can tell him so clearly whats wrong and right for adults to tell him go that easily.

aaaand yknow. raz does his razzy thing. learns about why the guy hates the world and the psychonauts and himself. helps him learn that its not all bad, that he was excellent to raz, and still is, that things can be bad and good all at once.

the man concedes that raz is very capable, very smart, and can do a lot. but that doesnt mean he should have to.

raz tells him, though, that he likes working for the psychonauts. its his dream. and he realizes some things he was told to do were kinda screwed up, now. that maybe, in honesty, he was dealt a bad hand.

but hes done what he can with that hand, and he ended up with a royal flush.

and uh! yknow!! then raz leaves his mind and he calls off the rebellion! its like a rhombus of ruin type adventure, except without the villain being present beforehand. its just not clustered in insanely close with a ton of other wild shit.

anyways this got really long? sorry?? its an oc i just saw good adult and slight father vibe potential in the vibe i instantly got on him and then i went feral???? rip maybe someone will read this and if you did. congrats i honestly really liked how the whole foil and good-yet-bad and consideration of raz being 10 thing worked out. this oc is almost like our representative in the psychonauts world the way reigen is for the audience in mp100. yea :) i match them up a lot but thats just cause they vibe a lot. anyways its 1:40 am now and i spent abt an hour on this hope it vibed mildly byeeee

[itsclydebitches]

YYH Recaps: Episode 4 “Requirements for Lovers”

Hello, everyone! It's been quite a while, huh? Ah, the endless cycle of wanting to write and yet, astoundingly, not writing. I know it well.

Good ol' writer's block has skedaddled for a time though, so let's make good use of that and dive into Episode Four: "Requirements for Lovers." 

Ohhh, YYH getting spicy with its titles 😏

Actually wait, I shouldn't be making dumb jokes just yet. First I want to acknowledge a slight change to future recaps: YYH, RWBY, and anything else I might try my hand at. Namely, a lack of pictures moving forward. A few weeks ago — months? I honestly can't keep track — tumblr implemented a new limitation where no post can have more than ten images in it. It's a move that, while I'm sure has its justifications, makes sharing analyses of visually-based media all the more difficult. I'll be doing my best moving forward to describe scenes as needed, as well as combining connected images together to stretch out my limit, but I'm not going to pretend that it'll be the same as getting the visual play-by-play we’re used to. 

Tumblr certainly is a website, huh?  

Anyway, we open on Yusuke once again lamenting the difficulty of hatching a spirit beast that doesn't immediately devour him from the head down. On the one hand this is an admittedly easy way to reset the story over the course of this arc — the storytelling equivalent of waking your character up each morning — yet I cannot deny that if I were undergoing a resurrection test, it would consume my every thought too. Can't really blame Yusuke for endlessly bringing the conflict up when the conflict is this deadly.

Well, deadly for a ghost, anyway.

Specifically, he's worried about how embarrassing it would be to get eaten by something that came out of an egg this tiny. I'm torn between reminding a fictional character that things grow — a pissed off chicken could kick my ass and it started out in an egg too — and just shaking my head over the absurdity of worrying about embarrassment when, you know, you would cease to exist. It's not even a matter of, "What if I die and then I'm embarrassed about it in the afterlife :( " Yusuke is already IN the afterlife. He's got nowhere to go but oblivion!

Luckily, Botan takes a more practical approach to these worries, pointing out that he'll be just fine provided he does some good deeds. Yusuke starts a rant about how do-gooders are only ever out for themselves.

Yusuke, you dumb-dumb, you're a do-gooder now. What was all that help for Kuwabara, hmm? As said, these early episodes exist in a semi-reset loop, where Yusuke needs to stew in his main character flaws for a while before any real growth starts to stick. Those flaws being, primarily, "I'm a pessimist" and "also I hate myself."

Case in point, Botan accuses him of always seeing the glass as half empty. Which, while true enough (outside of his confidence in fighting, anyway), by now we've got a pretty good sense of where Yusuke developed this attitude. He affirms this by talking about how Koenma's got him by the balls, "just another idiot abusing his power!" With an alcoholic mother and those teachers from last episode, it's no wonder Yusuke thinks this way. Mr. Takenaka's interest and Keiko's care aren't enough to combat the rest of Yusuke's experience, not when Takenaka is an outlier and Keiko is Yusuke's peer. Her desire to keep him on the right track reads only as an inevitability at best (the downside of having a perfect childhood friend), or a legitimate annoyance at worst. Or, as we'll continue to see in this episode, a way for them to flirt.

Is it any wonder Yusuke would sneer at Koenma's offer then, expecting the worst? The fact that Yusuke is still undergoing the challenge at all, no matter what he says, speaks volumes to me.

However, Botan is less than comfortable with his criticisms. She panics a bit at Yusuke insulting the (junior) ruler of the underworld so blithely. That, and the fact that he's carelessly tossing his egg around.

(Yes we’re using precious picture space for memes are you SURPRISED?) 

Anyway, Botan isn't just concerned for the sake of concern. She cautions Yusuke against speaking too freely because there may be investigators checking in on his progress. No sooner does he ask what those investigators look like than one appears.

Thunder! Lighting! An energy so intense that Yusuke is briefly blinded! It is, as he says, quite the entrance. What kind of being could possibly be at the heart of such an astounding show?

Why, this teeny-tiny cutie, of course.

Remember, few appearances in YYH coincide with the character's true self. Would you ever assume this is the all-powerful investigator who holds Yusuke's future in her hands? Of course not. That's the point.

The investigator introduces herself as Sayaka and immediately demonstrates that she has no more patience for Yusuke's attitude than Botan does. "These damn kids," he mutters and my brain briefly blue screens because Yusuke. You're fourteen.

Plus, Sayaka and Botan clearly have some sort of eternal youth situation going on, so there's that too.

Sayaka is, in a word, fantastic. She pulls no punches with Yusuke, teleporting away from him with what can only be described as a shit-eating smile, all while refusing to tell him what exactly she's investigating. “I’m sorry, but that’s a secret!” However, Keiko is clearly at the forefront of her interest. She refers to her as Yusuke's "girlfriend."

Botan is more than happy to point Keiko out — because of course they're still following her around! — and pulls a Et tu, Brute? on Yususke, leading Sayaka right to her. Like most of the Underworld, Sayaka is rather shocked that the pretty, popular, scholarly girl is supposedly into the delinquent. It's the power of childhood friendship, you fools! Specifically, Sayaka references the "positive markings" that Keiko has accumulated, but the audience already knows by now that such markings are suspect at best. Yusuke himself is proof of that. So if his terrible marks don't preclude him from being a young kid's savior, should we really view Keiko's as proof of superiority?

I mean, Keiko is fantastic, but that's not really the point here.

Starting her own investigation into Yusuke's life, Sayaka begins with one hell of a bombshell: "There's no point in doing [the resurrection] if the people closest to you don't care." WOW. Not only is that a harsh assessment, it's one I don't think I can personally get behind. The offer to restore Yusuke to life is built on the acknowledgment that their system is flawed (even if there's no work to change or dismantle that system): they thought he was worthless, his sacrificial death seems to have proven them wrong, and now they want further evidence, in the form of this trial, that Yusuke is a good person at heart. The whole point of this challenge is to give him a second chance, with testimonies like Mr. Takenaka's emphasizing that Yusuke has always been capable of more, so long as he applies himself. This, as we'll see throughout the series, applies to relationships too. The Yusuke with one friend he play-fights with, a distant mother, and a school worth of kids who are terrified of his very name is not the future Yusuke they expect him to become, so... why base his resurrection on what he's already (not) accomplished? Granted, the show is very unclear about what, if anything, Sayaka will do if she decides that Yusuke doesn't have a life worth going back to (even if I have my own theory discussed at the end), but the fact that this is suddenly a factor at all seems grossly unfair, not entirely unlike Kuwabara's rigged promise. We as the audience know that people love Yusuke. Yusuke himself is beginning to acknowledge that. But if this fourteen year old delinquent truly had no one that wanted him back from the dead... isn't that all the more reason to allow a resurrection and give him the chance to build a life where he would be missed? 

This stupid shonen got me thinking too much istg. 

Yusuke, ever the self-deprecating pessimist, bypasses all of the above thoughts and jumps straight to, "It's clear if [Keiko] had any sense she'd want me gone." I'd find that attitude incredibly sad if I wasn't distracted by how cute Botan and Sayaka are, sitting on the oar together. The spirit girls who fly together, thrive together! 

Botan starts teasing Yusuke about having a crush, which just feeds his temper and Sayaka's confusion. Deciding that she needs to gather more info, they follow along for an average day of school because these earlier episodes are, apparently, ghost-stalk Keiko hours. 

We see her reading aloud in class from Heart of Darkness (not the easiest book for some middle schoolers), scoring a point during volleyball practice, refusing to let one girl cheat off her homework, but happily helping another who runs up with a question. So she's pretty, athletic, and academically successful, the trifecta for any good love interest. Sayaka is impressed not just with her "nearly perfect" scores, but also the maturity that Keiko demonstrates, such as maintaining her morals about cheating while remaining compassionate. 

Actually, I really love the contrast this provides for us, the viewer. Meaning, Keiko is shown to be at her least mature when in Yusuke's presence. Not that her responses aren't justified, but watching her dramatically snatch gum from his mouth, slap him across the face, or pull crazed expressions as she yells at him is a far cry from this calm, poised, soft-spoken Keiko. It's a way to visually show us that she's comfortable in his presence, despite the suspect humor attached. Not that the Keiko we see at school is faking or anything — she is legitimately that kind and articulate — but we see that being with Yusuke allows her to relax in a way she doesn't with others. School!Keiko is, as Sayaka says, pretty much perfect, 24/7. Yusuke's Keiko is a little rougher around the edges, in a way that implies a multifaceted personality shining through. 

However, the only conclusion our trio draws is that, given Keiko's accomplishments, any attraction must be one-sided.

Poor Yusuke lol. 

In a plot move that is so ridiculously contrived, just as Yusuke is grappling with the accusation that Keiko couldn't possibly like him back, a "handsome boy" arrives to ask Keiko out. He says that he couldn't bear it when she stopped reading Heart of Darkness because he's fallen in love with her voice. "Will you be my girlfriend?" 

Please excuse me while I lose my shit over how ridiculous this is. I legitimately straight up cackled when I watched this scene. 

Luckily for Mr. Absurd, Keiko takes him seriously — and lets him down easy. She says she can't be his girlfriend and when he presses the "Why?", asking if she already likes someone else, Keiko confirms that she does. This is done through a shot of her feet. Not a POV shot given the angle, but close enough that it feels like we're stepping into Keiko's shoes (haha), shyly staring down at the floor in embarrassment and regret. 

Rejection complete? The guy screams. 

I mean he screams. 

I mean this nobody we're never gonna see again unhinges his jaw and lets out an unholy shriek the likes of which makes me shriek in utter GLEE. 

It's insane. It's wonderful. I'm going to use one of my coveted image spots to show you his face: 

Look at that and tell me this show isn't amazing. 

Okay, I'm focusing again. As Keiko runs off Botan and Sayaka start dragging Yusuke, teasing him about how Keiko chose him over that "charming handsome boy." 

...Please scroll up and look at that image again. I find YYH's definition of "charming" and "handsome" to be hilariously wrong. 

Yusuke, as per usual, throws himself into damage control, claiming that Keiko didn't say who she liked, so really it could be anyone. They're not buying it. “'I like Keiko' is written all over your face!” Botan crows. Meanwhile, Sayaka is scribbling in her little investigator's journal that feelings on both side are severely misunderstood. "Suggest serious counseling." 

Fantastic idea, Sayaka. I'd personally suggest counseling for the whole dying/best friend getting resurrected thing... but relationship woes work too! 

We cut to later when school is out and Keiko has gone over to Yusuke's. To say that Atsuko has done a poor job of keeping the house clean lately would be a serious understatement. 

Keiko points out the old food and broken glass specifically, cluing us in that this isn't just a messy environment, but a dangerous one as well. This is proven when she accidentally knocks a stack of books over and a used bowl falls onto Yusuke's face. What's interesting is that Keiko says that things are "back to normal" now, though I'm not sure if that's in reference to the state of the house, or just the note Atsuko left behind, asking Keiko to take care of Yusuke while she's out. I'm inclined towards thinking it's just the note, partly because of Keiko's shock when she first arrives, because the house wasn't shown to be in this state prior to Yusuke's death (first image above), and because the note is accompanied by a great voiceover that makes Atsuko sound quite sloshed when she left. That's what's normal, the drinking and carefree attitude, not the state of her home. If we buy that reading, it allows for another fantastic look into Atsuko's mental state. If she's already an alcoholic, the trauma of her son's death and the following revelation that he's coming back might make her struggle in other ways. Like finding cleaning to be an impossible task. 

She's depressed. It doesn't excuse the state she's left Yusuke in and, as previously acknowledged, YYH is definitely not a show interested in this nuance, but I still find it fun to take what little we've gotten and run with it. 

However, Keiko is firmly on team "WTF Atsuko." She hurries to make sure Yusuke wasn't hurt by the falling bowl, bemoans him being "covered in garbage," and says that leaving him in this state should be considered a felony. Knowing it's far beyond her power to fix Atsuko's failings, Keiko swears to come here after school every day until Yusuke regains his body. It's as she's cleaning him of the dust that's gathered that Keiko becomes entranced with Yusuke’s features. Particularly his lips. The soft lighting returns, their theme song swells, and Keiko gets thiiiis close to kissing Yusuke for the first time. 

Which is a little weird, right? I mean, we know why Yusuke is freaking out. Beyond the embarrassment of a middle schooler receiving his first kiss while two ghost girls eagerly watch on, he's made a hobby of denouncing his interest in Keiko to anyone who will listen. But for the average viewer — for Keiko herself — don't we care the he's, you know, dead? Or if not technically dead, very unconscious? Don't get me wrong, I fully understand the appeal of this situation in a generalized, cultural sense (with the side disclaimer that I'm reading a Japanese product through an American lens). Sleeping Beauty exists for a reason and there's definitely an element of that here: a gender-reversed setup where Keiko’s kills may break the "curse" of Yusuke's untimely death. Even his in-between state of being mirrors the "death like sleep" of the fairy tale. But when you strip away those Disney-esque thoughts, we're left with a girl about to kiss an unresponsive body, not as a common gesture of care (the parent who kisses their child while they sleep), but as a first time, romantic milestone. 

It's a little weird lol. 

But embrace the romance! As well as its inevitable interruption. Just as Keiko is about to land a peck, the neighborhood watch committee announces a heat and fire warning, startling Keiko out of her thoughts about Yusuke's "beautiful face." (There's another gender reversal for ya.) She gasps at her almost-action, conveniently remembers that her mom wanted her to do some shopping, and hightails it out of there before embarrassment can really kill them both. 

So she runs off for food... in a sweater? The outfit is cute and all, but I wonder what the animators were thinking, putting Keiko in a puffy pullover during an episode all about a heat wave. 

It's about at this point that the plot goes from cute romance to absolutely buck wild. The fires the neighborhood watch committee mentioned are not, in fact, due to the overwhelming heat, but an arsonist that's going around tossing molotov cocktails through open windows. Why is he doing such a thing? I don't know. Arsonists be doing arson, I guess. The important bit is that Yusuke's place is his next target, considering that Atsuko forgot to lock the windows when she went out. Within seconds all that garbage is set ablaze, quite obviously putting Yusuke's resurrection chances at an all time low. 

"Wake up, stupid!" he shouts at his unconscious body. Mood, Yusuke. That's me every morning. 

So this is a full scale emergency now and everyone is scrambling trying to think of something to do. Yusuke comes up with the idea to possess himself like he did Kuwabara — nice attempt at a loophole there — but since it would technically count as his resurrection, no dice. Botan decides to go get Kuwabara himself, even though he's too far away to do anything. It's still worth a shot. Sayaka, meanwhile, watches all this unfold with a somewhat clinical detachment. She's not quite indifferent and she's definitely not cruel... she’s just not as emotionally invested in this as the other two. Which not only re-emphasizes her purpose here, as an observer judging Yusuke, but also highlights the bond Botan is forming with him. As mentioned before in regards to her hanging out with Yusuke rather than ferrying souls, Botan is well past someone assisting Yusuke simply because it's a part of her job. He's her friend. 

We get some shots of the growing fire which includes a hazy texture to the animation I quite like and then we cut to Keiko several blocks away, shopping bag in hand. Word of the new fire spreads, with one bystander mentioning that it's the twelfth today. 

"This is eerie.” 

“Yeah, I can’t help feeling we’re under attack.”

That's because you are! Someone stop that man! 

Sadly, I don't think the arsonist is mentioned again, let alone captured. We'll just have to relegate that to my incredibly niche fic wishlist. 

Keiko also overhears that the latest fire is on fourth avenue, which of course is where Yusuke lives. Recognizing that he might be in trouble, she takes off at a run. 

Meanwhile, Botan finds Kuwabara practicing his kicks against a Yusuke dummy. Amazing resemblance, right? 

Watching for the purpose of recapping, I'm picking up on a lot of details in the animation I quite enjoy. I don't think anyone would claim that YYH, at this point in time, has the most impressive or flashy animation (the fight scenes later are another matter entirely), but there's a clear love for the product that shines through. The scared expression on Kuwabara's dummy. His unexpectedly dainty kick, complete with pointed toes. Botan's more translucent coloring to emphasize her supernatural status compared to Kuwabara. There are a lot of nice touches despite the overall simplicity. 

Plus, you can't forget the lovely irony of Kuwabara fighting a defenseless "Yusuke" while the real guy actually lies defenseless amidst a fire. We already know that despite his tough talk, Kuwabara would be horrified to learn that his friend rival had died (again) in such a manner. 

Capitalizing on that transparency, Botan runs a hand through Kuwabara's back to catch his attention. He gets his "tickle feeling" and instinctively looks around towards Yusuke's house, seeing the smoke. "Something tells me I should go that way." Gotta love a guy who drops everything to chase a vague, supernaturally induced hunch. 

As Kuwabara leaves we cut back to Keiko arriving at the house, staring in horror at the blaze. We get an audio flashback to her talk with Yusuke where she promised to take care of his body until he got back. So she tries to run in, only for a couple of the onlookers to snag her, quite correctly keeping her from undergoing a suicide mission. We learn later that Keiko absolutely would have died without Yusuke's sacrifice, so her "You cowards!" is born more of emotion than justified accusations. It's not cowardly to look at the raging inferno in a small apartment and realize that recklessly running in will only result in two dead teens, not one. 

I mean, the flames are already right there, licking the door. Even if Keiko somehow managed to avoid burns, the smoke alone would do her in. Still, Keiko tries to mitigate the damage by dumping a bucket of water over her head. As a kid I remember thinking this was the smartest thing ever. Utterly inspired. Keep that in the back of your mind, kid Clyde, for future reference. As an adult... I have no idea whether this would actually help or not lol. Any firefighters doubling as YYH fans? 

Recklessness and iffy precautions aside, I can't express how much I appreciate the story giving Keiko things to do. Yusuke recognizes that she's the only one with the maturity and open-mindedness to believe in his resurrection. She's the one picking up Atsuko's slack regarding his day-to-day needs. She never hesitates for a moment, heroically throwing herself into this blaze for Yusuke's benefit. Yeah, a lot of that still falls into the emotional/domestic sphere — what we expect of the love interest in a 90s anime — but too often action stories don't have a clue what to do with their non-action characters, not even when it comes to just supporting the fighters. They're simply... there. Keiko, however, isn't window dressing. Whether it's helping Botan survive an upcoming, supernatural plague, or cheering the team on at the Dark Tournament, Keiko is an important part of the story, despite lacking the fighting prowess of the rest of the cast. 

Just as important, this episode establishes a core equality between her and Yusuke. We just watched Keiko reject a (presumably) accomplished guy for him, telling the audience that these surface differences — academics, power levels, popularity, looks — don't matter to them. Yusuke is not Keiko's lesser just because he doesn't have the same scores in Sayaka's book and Keiko won't become Yusuke's lesser just because she doesn't have spiritual power like he does. The only important thing here is that they love each other and they're both willing to sacrifice everything for the other. In the span of about ten minutes, Keiko nearly gives up her life for Yusuke and, in turn, Yusuke gives up his resurrection for her. The level of care they show towards one another is balanced, despite those differences. 

They’re a good ship, y'all. Even if this recapping's got me noticing Yusuke/Kuwabara potential lol. 

To get back to the plot, a drenched Keiko charges into the fire, yelling Yusuke's name for the drama of it because we all know he can't respond. Despite the audience (hopefully) recognizing Keiko and Yusuke's equality, that memo hasn't reached Yusuke yet. "You're a lot more important to this world than I am!" he yells, hammering home that despite everything — knowing he instinctively saved a child, watching his loved ones grieve for him, helping Kuwabara just because he can — Yusuke still, deep down, believes that he doesn't deserve to come back; that he doesn't measure up to those around him. The self-sacrificial nature this insecurity produces shocks Sayaka. She points out that if Keiko doesn't save his body, he's not coming back. "What's the point of being alive if Keiko has to get killed for it?" 

Keiko means more to Yusuke than the rest of his living existence. Jot that down in your notebook, Sayaka! 

Kuwabara arrives and runs into one of his friends who informs him that Keiko just went inside. “Yusuke’s girl? The one we saved from those thugs?”

BOY does that tell us a lot about their rivalry! I mean yeah, we've already established several times over that Kuwabara — just like Yusuke himself — is not the cruel street thug he'd like to present himself as. If these characters actually wanted to hurt each other outside of a martial arts challenge, don't you think Kuwabara would capitalize on the "Yusuke's girl" bit? Everyone seems to know that they have feelings for each other, but Kuwabara never once wields that as ammunition against Yusuke. There are no taunts about him not being good enough. Or rather, I should clarify there are no serious taunts — Kuwabara is well known for his teasing. There's also no attempt to steal Keiko out from under him, the common treatment of the love interest as a "prize" that many stories fall into. Indeed, later this episode YYH will deconstruct this a bit. Yusuke sees Kuwabara grab Keiko's hand and yells that he better not be getting "fresh" with her. But it's purely Yusuke's worries shining through. The audience gets a crystal clear picture of the situation and knows, categorically, that Kuwabara has only the most innocent of intentions in holding Keiko's hand. 

(Well, running from the police isn't innocent, but...) 

I keep getting sidetracked. Plot! Keiko makes it to Yusuke's room and finds that he is already on fire. She then proceeds to try and put it out by patting it with her hands. I take back what I said about Keiko's smarts in this scene. Now we know where that supposed recklessness comes from though. Apparently they're both immune to fire! Nothing to worry about here, folks. 

JK she's actually in danger, despite the animation choices. By this point everyone, including Keiko, realizes that there's no way out: the fire has blocked the door. Sayaka then reveals that there is one way to save her. If Yusuke throws his egg into the fire, the energy of the spirit beast will release and guide her to safety. The catch? Hatch the egg early and it won't complete its intended function of guiding him back to his body. This beast is gonna guide one person and that is it. 

Cue Yusuke's near immediate decision to sacrifice his life for Keiko's. Granted, it's not precisely one life for another. Yusuke's resurrection was always contingent upon the beast not devouring him whole — something Koenma claims would have happened at the end of the episode — meaning that it's not technically a fair trade. Yusuke might have sacrificed Keiko's life for his own... only to fail to get that life back anyway. (There's a tragedy for ya.) To say nothing of how Yusuke is currently dead and has been for at least a couple of days, whereas Keiko very much is not. There's some sort of philosophical discussion there about potential being pit against current reality. 

BUT that's not the point! The emotional point is that he sacrificed his life for hers — the potential of his resurrection, the potential of that life he might have led — all technicalities aside. And I, for one, think that's very neat of him. 

A blue light shines as the egg's energy is released, providing a lovely contrast to the fire surrounding them. A path forms to the door and Keiko, recognizing Yusuke's presence, follows it. "We'll make it, Yusuke," Keiko says, which is one hell of a sucker-punch now that we know she's just carrying a corpse. Unbeknownst to Keiko, Yusuke is very much not making it. That's the only reason why she is. 

Kuwabara appears to help them the rest of the way which is also a pretty awesome thing considering that, from everyone else's perspective, the fire is still raging and blocking the door. Despite his spiritual awareness, Kuwabara gives no indication that he noticed this strange light, or Yusuke's hand in the rescue. Which basically means he lunged into a bunch of deadly fire for Keiko and doesn't question how in the world he isn't burned. 

Keiko's hands are fine, Kuwabara's whole body is fine... fire immunity must run in the friend group! 

Yusuke has another rare moment of vulnerability — "They're both okay" — and I cackle happily at the "both" because see. You love Kuwabara too, Yusuke! All this bluster about hating him and finding him annoying. The second he rushed into that fire you were crawling up the walls. 

Except then that happiness gives way to something that sounds a little more shocked. Devastated. "Well, I sure am... relieved..." Kudos to Cook's voice acting. You can hear the exact moment Yusuke realizes what he's done. Not that he regrets it, but the consequences are finally sinking in. He's relieved that they're safe, yes, but now he's never going to be able to rejoin them. 

As Yusuke has an(other) existential crisis, Kuwabara peels back the blanket Keiko had wrapped Yusuke in, revealing his face. “What are you doing with Yusuke’s body?! Are you some type of sick grave robber?” he shouts. God I love when a story actually keeps track of who knows what. Kuwabara, for all his recent involvement in the plot, doesn't actually know what's going on. From his perspective Yusuke died, he made a scene at the wake, he saved "his girl" from a bunch of thugs, lost a huge chunk of time only to wake up with her randomly hugging him (then slapping him), participated in a bet with his awful teacher and had a couple weird, Yusuke related dreams while studying, and has felt the presence of ghosts perhaps a little more frequently than usual. Now he's trying to help save Keiko from a fire only for her to reveal she risked her own life for Yusuke's body. Of course he's freaking out! What's she doing with that? 

What's utterly fantastic though is that Kuwabara takes all of five seconds to process this and then enters immediate Ride or Die mode for Keiko. She's been hoarding Yusuke's body for undetermined reasons? Well, who is he to judge? The important thing here is that people are arrested for keeping bodies, so they've gotta skedaddle before the firefighters show up. 

Hence, hand-holding and avoiding arrest. 

As Yusuke starts threatening Kuwabara not to get "fresh" with her, Botan sadly reminds him that he no longer has a say in who Keiko does or does not fall in love with. The switch in tone is jarring. Whereas before Botan would have teased him mercilessly for the crush, now she knows that nothing can come of that — and it would be cruel not to remind Yusuke of that too. 

"Oh no. I didn't think..." Yusuke whispers, further establishing that he knew the risks of using his egg, but hadn't allowed them to sink in yet. Now they have. 

He gives a fake little laugh with, "Just when it was getting good" and I cry at the development in the span of just four episodes. Despite what I said at the beginning about the show resetting each week, there has been a lot of change thus far. Yusuke wants to live now! He wants to be there for Keiko! He looks down on his tiny family and screams at the unfairness of it all! They're talking about how they can't wait for him to come back and now that's never gonna happen!!

It hurts, friends. It hurts a whole lot. 

During this conversation between Keiko, Atsuko, and Kuwabara, we see that a couple of hours have passed (it's nighttime now, the fire is out) and Atsuko is apologizing for putting them all in danger like that. And by that I mean yes, she does technically apologize with an "I'm sorry" and everything, but it's also a one sentence apology pit against... well, near death for the three people standing (and sitting) before her. Atsuko seems just as concerned by Keiko losing her hair as she does Keiko nearly burning to death and she kneels by Yusuke's wheelchair, baby-talking to him about how he forgives her, right? I love Atsuko, she's great, but objectively speaking she is not a good mother. Not right now, anyway. 

Oh yeah, and just to reiterate that: Keiko's hands are fine after patting down Yusuke's on-fire body, but her hair, which I'm pretty sure never catches, has to be cut short. Ah, anime logic. Funny thing is, YYH isn't the only story to take the love interest and give her a cool, short cut thanks to a traumatic event. Anyone read Ranma 1/2? 

During this conversation we also learn that, sometime between the fire and now, Keiko filled Kuwabara in on everything that's happening with Yusuke. Makes sense. He kneels beside the wheelchair, joining the others in telling Yusuke that they'll wait patiently for his return. Yusuke, above them, continues yelling about how they're waiting on a dead man. 

“It can’t be helped. He made this decision on his own." 

Except it can, in fact, be helped!

Just as all hope is truly lost, Koenma appears and announces that Yusuke will be returned to life. Why? Because sacrificing his egg for Keiko is a better indicator of his worth than the egg itself could have been. Despite feeding on his negative outlook and heading towards biting Yusuke's head off — something the animation backs up by showing us teeth during the fire

— Yusuke's act demonstrates a tendency towards being a "decent human being" that is "so rare." Wow. That's depressing. Still, yay that Yusuke has those qualities! And this, to my mind, helps explain Sayaka's presence. Koenma recognized that judging Yusuke couldn't be left to the egg alone and indeed, Sayaka took note of his worth before he ever threw the egg into the fire. First it was questioning why someone as amazing as Keiko would go for him, then it was solidified through the shock of Yusuke announcing that coming back to life was meaningless if she wasn't in it. Even if Keiko had somehow, miraculously escaped the fire before Yusuke's sacrifice, I bet Sayaka's report would have tipped him in resurrection's favor anyway. 

Everyone is, of course, overjoyed and my heart swells at the intense gratitude Yusuke displays. My favorite part though is when Koenma cryptically says that “Your added experience with death could make you very useful" (a nod towards future events that goes right over Yusuke's head) and his response to this is a yelled, "YOU THINK I'M USEFUL?" This poor kid. The God of everything ever is chucking out revelations left and right, about resurrections and spirit beasts, but the only thing that really penetrates is the realization that someone thinks he's useful. Talk about relatable. 

You know, I've been thinking about why this moment works so well. I mean, there are a lot of other stories where undermining the consequences our hero faces — either with humor, or by erasing them completely — can feel like the audience was cheated. I think YYH dodged that with a couple of crucial factors. First, Yusuke's consequence isn't something new that he's now avoided, it's just a permanent extension of something he was already dealing with. We did get to watch him inhabit the space between life and death, grappling with whether he'd ever be able to return. The story didn't deny us that growth, it just confirmed something we all instinctively knew: this tale won't end here with Yusuke permanently going to some afterlife. Second, the Deus ex Machina fix doesn't happen too soon. Yeah, it's only a couple of minutes in a single episode, but we (and Yusuke) still get to sit with that outcome for a while, soaking it in before its removal. Finally, there's no doubt that Yusuke earned this reprieve. Koenma's timing might be sudden and (if you're not genre savvy) unexpected, but looking back at the series as a whole thus far, we're able to agree absolutely that Yusuke deserves this. Far from feeling like we were cheated, this solution invites just as much celebration as we're seeing on screen, for the simple reason that we can buy into Koenma's reasoning. We know now that Yusuke is a good person. We saw him selflessly sacrifice his future for Keiko. We agree that he deserves a second chance. 

Thus, the episode ends with Yusuke flying up to fill the screen in his joy, a far better, final shot than Harry Potter and The Prison of Azkaban managed 😰

And that's it for Episode 4, folks! See you later for Episode 5 💕

[96thdayofrage]

In the first five minutes of Raoul Peck’s docuseries, Exterminate All the Brutes, a subtitle appears on screen. “The Disturbing Confidence of Ignorance: 1836 Seminoles and Maroons.” A determined Seminole female chief (Casia Ankarsparre) appears on screen. Unblinking, she says, “This is the day we fight.” The next scene is a meeting between the chief and a male Maroon leader. In this scene we see a true story that the majority white gatekeepers who control Hollywood rarely include in their whitewashed stories about the history of what we now call “America” — Black and Brown living in integrated community, sharing resources, and resisting white supremacy. As they sit in a circle under a modest covering, the Maroon leader humbly offers to run in order to protect the community. The chief replies, “We’re family now. You stay.”  The Maroon leader emphasizes that he doesn’t want to bring harm, to which the chief knowingly says, “They bring harm to our nation, not you.” The white man wants their land by any means necessary. They decide to fight together to protect one another and their land.

Exterminate All the Brutes is a documentary series that jumps time, brilliantly ripping off the facade of “the American Dream,” allowing the audience to face the reality that America was born as a colonial power and to this day operates as one. Peck wrote and narrates the docuseries, so he literally tells the thinly hidden truths of how America came to be. Exterminate All the Brutes holds no punches, defining white supremacy as a poisonous superiority complex that kills nations in order to thrive.

Peck is one of the most renowned storytellers of our time. After completing I Am Not Your Negro, he says that he felt called to make Exterminate All the Brutes, which deconstructs the origins of white supremacy. Now is the right time for this momentous series. Normally, the documentary filmmaker is “outside” of the film. Peck skillfully inserts himself into the story using home movie footage of his Haitian American immigrant family, grounding viewers in relatable reality as he guides us through over 400 years of imperialism and the impact of white dominance and fascism. We need that in order to bear witness to hard truths. Peck is familiar with dealing with dictators. His middle-class family was exiled during the reign of Haitian president/dictator Francois Duvalier and ended up living in Brooklyn when he was a child in the 1960s. Peck narrates, “We traveled a lot because of another dictator, but it doesn’t feel like an exile. I am with family. I am an immigrant from a ‘sh*thole country,’ like he said.”

ALSO READ‘The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,’ Season 1 Episode 3: “Power Broker” — RECAP

Three books are the foundation of this docuseries. Exterminate All the Brutes, by Sven Lindqvist, exposes the cruel impact of European imperialism on the African continent. An Indigenous People’s History of the United States, by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, details the Native American genocide. Silencing the Past, by Michel-Rolph Trouillot, is about how Haiti’s independence in 1804 changed the trajectory of the Western world. Peck unites this circle of intellectual healers to create the extraordinary HBO docuseries and credits these authors, who are also his dear friends, as co-creators of the film.  

History is remembered by the victors. American history has been reinforced by Hollywood. The Civil War ended in 1865. Moving pictures were invented in 1893, and in 1915, The Birth of a Nation (a white supremacist propoganda film) was the first blockbuster film made in Hollywood. We have generations of Americans who believe in the big lie of Western expansion by Westerns that center one white man killing everyone with a gun.

Peck uses his superpowers as a filmmaker to tell the truths of history from the perspective of the colonized. The docuseries not only uses historical footage and newsreels but also Peck has created full narrative short stories within the documentary to add nuance, humanizing the history.  

The white male lead of Exterminate All the Brutes is Josh Hartnett. The character Hartnett plays has no name, but I recognized him immediately. Josh Hartnett is deftly playing white superiority, a character every Black person in America has to endure a daily basis. I have to say, experiencing the way Peck wrote that character and how Hartnett deftly embodies that toxic energy was more frightening than any race-based horror film or series I’ve seen this year. Witnessing the impact of that white man dominating through time was a frightening truth we rarely see told openly. I’m just grateful that I’ve lived long enough to be able to see the truth of this country on screen.  

The parts of the documentary that hit me hardest used animation to powerfully reflect the North Atlantic Slave Trade and the Trail of Tears. I will hold those images in my heart forever. Stories give us the opportunity to empathize. We can look past the superficial differences and see we are one people. White supremacy thrives on simplicity. Exterminate All the Brutes is a rich documentary that uses wise storytelling to clearly share the complexity of the system grounded in white dominance that we are all living under.

The documentary is broken up into four episodes, which are really short films.

Part 1: The Disturbing Confidence of Ignorance

Part 2: Who the F*** Is Columbus

Part 3: Killing at a Distance, or How I Thoroughly Enjoyed the Outing

Part 4: The Bright Colors of Fascism

When deciding to make this film, Peck was encouraged by his friend Sven Lindqvist, who said to him, “You already know enough. It’s not knowledge we lack. What is missing is the courage to understand what we know and to draw conclusions.” As I’ve been watching the Derek Chauvin trial for the murder of George Floyd, Exterminate All the Brutes was a form of catharsis for me. After viewing the entire series, I feel charged up and inspired to continue to do the daily work of dismantling white dominance as our ancestors need us all to do.

Don’t miss Exterminate All The Brutes, written, directed, produced, and narrated by Raoul Peck, now streaming on HBO/Max.    

Episodes: https://www.hbo.com/exterminate-all-the-brutes/episodes

Additional films, books and resources:

https://www.hbo.com/exterminate-all-the-brutes/raoul-peck-essential-reading-films

[brokenjardaantech]

Blue-tinted Red Walls (Chapter 7: Power Unleashed)

my entry for the @dbhau-bigbang. also part of the groom lake aftermath series.

summary:

In the past, Fadia was reborn.

In the present, Connor and Hank pays Ryder a visit.

In the past, Fadia went on a killing spree.

also on ao3

content warning for robogore in the final section of this chapter

---

Before

Fadia had debated if she should go to the funeral or not. She hadn’t talked to her mother for years before she died, not even after she had co-founded CyberLife with her father, and even with him, their relationship was more professional than anything else - not that Alec never tried to improve it. But as much as she had rejected anything familial with her parents, respect still had to be paid to the scientist who started… well, literally everything, from her powers (biotics, a voice that sounded like Scott corrected her) to American androids to what she was planning to do -

And to the sickness that took her life at last.

‘Why are you here?’ was how her father greeted her. So be it.

‘Unlike you, Mama didn’t ruin everyone’s lives for one person,’ she fixed a glare and was very glad that she towered over him now. ‘I come to pay my respects. Then I’ll go.’

‘Where’s Scott?’

‘None of your business, Baba.’

‘Not even saying goodbye to his mother, huh?’ Alec said dismissively, and Fadia’s blood boiled, her heart speeding up and her face burning. ‘Should’ve known that.’

Seeing that there was no one else in the immediate vicinity, she grabbed him by his collar and slammed him onto a wall. ‘You damned well know why he can’t be here,’ she gritted. ‘Your presence brings him so much pain that he is denied a chance to properly bid his mother farewell!’

A prick. Her vision swam. Her head was heavy like it was filled with lead. Her heart throbbed, and she fell onto the ground, her muscles convulsing and spasming from an unknown force.

‘I need you to live,’ she heard Alec say, but her focus was on reaching for the phone in her pocket and sending one final message to her brother and Reyes.

Am captured. Run. Don’t let Alec get you.

oOoOo

When she woke, everything was different, wrong, foreign. There was so much information in front of her eyes, telling her how fast her heart was beating, how efficient her systems are, how much stress she was under. She tried to raise her hand to wave them away and looked down when she realised that she couldn’t.

She was strapped onto the table by an android’s limbs. 

Rage boiled in her new veins, and as she tapped into her power to break the restraints, she discovered that it was much easier than when she was still a human. [Abnormal thirium usage detected], a warning popped up, and she dismissed it together with the others with a simple thought. If she had not been so focused on escaping wherever she was in, she would have been frightened by how seamlessly she seemed to accept the fact that she was no longer human.

The door was locked so she blasted it open with a crackle of blue and static even though it would probably trip the alarms, and indeed sirens blared, pristine hallways turning red from the warning lights, and when a security guard - pathetic, really, since he didn’t even have the most basic armour on - tried to confront her alone, she merely snapped her fingers and blasted him in his face with a sphere of blue. A crunch, and he fell onto the floor with a thud. The rest of the security (mercenaries, she knew some of them were) was handled similarly without any difficulties on her part, and it was not until she slammed the door to the ground floor - to her freedom - open that her new eyes were assaulted by blindingly bright light. She blinked to adjust her vision and was not impressed when she saw her father standing in front of a lobby full of armed security personnel.

‘Go back to the lab, Sara,’ he said smoothly, but his voice gritted in her ear like the roughest sandpaper. ‘There’s no need for further violence.’

Like hell. ‘Let me go. You know what I can do to every single person in the room.’

‘Sara, go back to the lab. This is an order.’

For one single terrifying second, her body automatically moved itself as if her control over it was taken away, but then she thought as strongly as she could, stop right there, and the crisis was averted for the moment in the form of her joints locking up and immobilising her completely and at the cost of her brain feeling like it was going to explode from the conflicting commands. Her red-tinted vision, however, did not have any effect on obscuring the shock on her father’s face, and then it clicked. 

He converted her into an android thinking that it could let him control her.

It was not happening regardless of what his current plan was and what failsafe he had in mind, that much she was certain about, and suddenly her father’s repeated commands were drowned out by the buzz in her nerves, the red tint breaking into scattered fractals and giving way to the grey of every android’s basic scanning software as the white outline of herself raised its palm to launch one biotic sphere after another towards the weak spots on the wall, at Alec’s face, at the security’s weapons and heads. It crumbled easily under the constant assault, her world blurred, and somehow her outline merged with her actual body, and the next thing she knew her vision was shrouded in the blue glow of biotics and she was tearing literal people apart, blood and gore splattering her face, her clothes, getting into her eye. A notification nagged for her to turn on her pre-construction software, but who needs that if she had her biotics? Blinking it away, she advanced towards the direction where someone had been firing at her, but it seemed that the person must be moving quickly as they were not there anymore when she closed the distance with her biotics; notwithstanding the fact that dodging a biotic step was no small feat, she doubted any of them had any experience with dealing with a biotic on a full rampage, no matter human or android. People like her were part of the most closely-guarded secret human civilisation had ever produced, and unless she had memorised the documents wrong, there wasn’t one single biotic in CyberLife’s security details.

Her barrier held strong even after the gunfire died down. Tapping into all radio frequencies, she learnt that most if not all teams were running out of ammo, her father was calling for a district-wide lockdown and the destruction of his research, that the DPD was sending quite a few SWAT teams to handle the situation, and that these poor souls had no idea what they were in for; as much as she wanted her father dead right now and CyberLife be wiped off the face of the earth, as excess collateral damage was not her style, she broadcasted a message to all bandwidths hoping that they would listen to her - despite knowing that they probably would not.

Cease interfering in our family affairs immediately and you might live. Go forward, and I will not guarantee your survival - and this district’s.

She knitted a destructive web around herself to ensure that she would not be ambushed while she tuned her ears to better listen for a response. Her father was trying to convince the employees and civilians on site that the situation was under control with some degree of success - how foolish of them to believe in him - and the DPD had decided to continue their press forward into the district, a mistake that she would make sure that they would pay for. Satisfied with her plan, she continued expanding the bubble, cutting off more and more sections of the district from central control bit by bit, and as soon as the first SWAT vehicle was in range -

Detonate.

o0o0o

Now

The silence in the car is deafening so Hank drowned it out with Louis’ playlist; he would’ve chosen heavy metal if the SWAT Captain hadn’t been there, but sadly Louis’ ears don’t agree with the heavy beats and screaming. 

‘The fuck are we supposed to do now?’ Hank asks no one in particular. Then, rewinding the past five minutes, he realises, ‘What did Vidal give you?’

Connor slowly turns his gaze towards the white chassis of his right hand, his LED spinning red as if deep in thoughts. Conflicted thoughts. ‘Coordinates.’

‘Of what?’

‘Where my creator should be.’

‘Should we go now?’

Another slow spin. ‘No,’ the android’s head jerks, an aborted motion of shaking his head. ‘It’s… too far away. If we go now, we won’t be able to return before midnight.’

‘Alright, agenda for tomorrow: drive for hours to meet an asshole. Got it.’ Then he makes eye contact with Louis in the rearview mirror. ‘You’ve got something to do?’

‘At this hour?’ a shake of his head. ‘Keeping you away from crappy take-outs is my only mission.’

‘Asshole.’

‘You love me, friend.’

‘You’re cooking.’

‘And you’re helping.’

‘Vidal fixed your leg.’

‘It needs calibration.’

It’s a losing battle. ‘Fine. Your place, then.’

He starts the engine, and they spend the rest of their ride in silence, the music turned down because Louis is dozing at the back, Connor’s hand hiding his LED as he stares pensively at whatever is outside the car. Keeping his eyes on the road while quitting drinking nearly cold turkey is hard, so Hank doesn’t have the brain cells to think about what the fuck just happened to his life until he is sitting on Louis’ sofa (again) and watching a game (again) while stroking the fur of one of the cats (again). 

Vidal, informat critical to the dismantlement of the red ice ring back in ‘31 and disappeared shortly afterwards. Vidal, android. Vidal, who, through his marriage to Safaa/Scott, is related to probably the maddest dudes in the continent and somehow has access to sensitive CyberLife data. Nursing a mug of tea laced with mead (‘Just a bit so that you don’t sweat yourself to dehydration,’ Louis said as he tipped the bottle and poured what must be less than a finger of it. ‘Now close your eyes. I’m putting it back and I don’t want you to know where it is.’), he lets his mind drift to the shady bars, to the slips of paper containing vital information he found in his pockets after he got back to the precinct, to the way Vidal said, ‘They are killing my people,’ when Hank asked him why he, as a civilian, willingly threw himself into the mess. Once Hank thought he had meant his gang or some other underground business that were only marginally better than dealing red ice; now he knew he was talking about the androids abducted and bled dry for their blood.

‘Why are you telling us now?’ Hank asked that afternoon. Connor and Louis were already on their way to the car and Safaa had disappeared to god-knows-where, so it was only the two of them at the door. ‘Why pick up Sara Ryder’s mess?’

‘As much as Sara is… who she is, those are my people out there,’ Vidal leant against the frame of the door. ‘Saviour complex or not, her mind is no longer on earth, and I’m not taking any chances even if she swears with her life that she’ll deal with it.’

‘She one of those escapists obsessed with space?’

A shrug. ‘Wherever she was for the last ten years, they kept their intel real tight. I can guess what she’s doing, but it’s nowhere close to a concrete answer. Hell knows why she’s popping back up again after all these years and right before the androids rise up as well. If you’re really going to hers, my advice is to be very careful.’

‘Is she gonna be hostile?’

‘No, not with her baby brother asking so nicely,’ an ironic smile. A tap of his foot against the frame. ‘But you know about the landfill, the people living there before it all got blown up. There’s a reason why CyberLife bought the land from the previous owners so easily, why they stopped searching for bodies so quickly: there were none. I don’t want you to be one of those people who disappear forever after meeting her - one way or another.’

‘“One way or another”?’

‘She’s a… convincing individual. Just don’t get roped into anything and you’ll probably come out of it unscathed.’

Don’t get roped into anything, huh? Oh wait.

‘Louis?’ Hank hollers.

‘Yes?’

I’m sorry, Louis. ‘Where did you get your sister’s tags from?’

A pause. ‘Why ask?’

‘Just to confirm something.’

The man emerges from the kitchen with two plates of spaghetti and hands one to Hank before squeezing into the other corner of the sofa and forcing Connor to press up against the Lieutenant. ‘A few years back. Drone-delivered parcel. No return address. Box and the note is laced with so much thirium that I don’t know how to throw it away without…’ a crackle following a sharp blue glow of his hand - ‘telling everyone that I’m different.’

Note? That’s new. ‘What note?’

‘Anna’s handwriting. Asked me to take care of the tags. Why ask?’

And so Hank tells him about his conversation with Reyes before they parted ways. ‘You’ve got any advice?’

‘Don’t get a building thrown on top of you, for one.’

‘That’s not what I -’

‘You there, Connor?’

The android flinches. ‘Y - yes.’

‘Take care of Hank. If Ryder greets you how she did me ten years ago…’ 

‘I will, Louis,’ Connor looks a bit more awake but his eyes are still unfocused. ‘I’ll be prepared,’ he says, not knowing that he’ll eat his words not 24 hours later.

oOoOo

Having spent his night on Hank’s sofa, they manage to be on their way early in the morning, and Connor lets the human drive despite complaints of sleep deprivation as his vision is perpetually red from the wall draining away through a steady trickle of red sand. He tells himself that he is going to return colour to his vision one way or another: either by making the wall crumble entirely or by making it disappear, but when he attempts the first method, the wall simply stays out of his reach, the space between it and him wider than the chasm his creator had shown him a few days ago in the hijacked Zen Garden.

‘You want your coin back?’

Hank’s voice pulls him away from his thoughts. ‘Pardon me, Lieutenant,’ because he isn’t sure how to tell the human about it. ‘And yes. I would like my coin back.’

Hank shoves his hand into his coat pocket to retrieve the item in question and places it on the back of Connor’s hand, the natural warmth of an organic life seeping into metal and the bare white chassis of a synthetic’s.

He has deactivated his skin subconsciously.

In a lapse of rational thought, Connor’s hand flips and laces their fingers together before the human can pull away, the coin somehow managing to stay between their clasped hands, and he stares perplexed when Hank not only doesn’t pull away but also does not flinch. His face burns. Fissures appear on the red wall. He takes a deep breath to cool himself down.

‘You alright there?’ Hank asks. No judgement, no belittlement, humourless; just concern and - and warmth. ‘Your little lamp has been spinning red for days.’

I’ll be fine, he almost replies instinctively and then realises that he isn’t fine at all and hasn’t been for a long time. So he turns his focus onto the man himself instead. ‘Have we -’ at loss of words, he gives Hank’s hand a squeeze. 

Luckily the human seems to understand him. ‘The night at Louis’. We slept in the same bed,’ he rubs a calloused thumb in a circle around Connor‘s knuckle. ‘Your skin disappeared in patches. You didn’t let go.’

‘I -’ he has no recollection. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘’S fine. I’d be tired all the time too if I realised how many layers there are to my existence. Can’t be easy, can’t it? Being a clog in a machine that you don’t even know you’re in.’

The GPS warns them of ice ahead so Connor lets go to allow the human to focus on the road, and he grips the coin right to preserve its warmth. Hank’s warmth. It is then that he suddenly remembers a similar ride through Detroit a few months ago. 

‘You are restless,’ his creator - he supposes that he should call her Ryder now - commented from the driver’s seat. ‘What’s on your mind?’

Brown eyes took in the lights, the people, the shops, the reflection of himself on the window, the blue of his LED despite his thoughts. What was not in his mind? ‘It is overwhelming,’ he answered. ‘There is… so much to see.’

‘I might have something to help with that,’ said Sara, and with a flick of her fingers she produced a coin out of nowhere and started spinning it on her fingertips. Connor stared mesmerised, the outside world gone in his perspective; the clear clang of metal against her gloves, the way the coin spun so quickly that it looked like a sphere, the lights reflecting off the dull, unpolished surface. Another flick sent the coin flying towards him in a parabola through the air and he caught it reflexively, his processors deciding his course of action in a fraction of a second. He started to spin it on the tips of his fingers in the way Sara did, and he could feel his mind focusing and soaking in the new information and calibrating the different sensors on his body. He looked at his creator in gratitude, wanting to thank her for not leaving him alone in his thoughts, but she ignored him for the rest of the ride as if she had moved on to something more important.

The sudden realisation distracts him for only a mere moment but it is enough for him to send the coin to the side of the car with a small crackle of static. He could have caught it with superhuman reflexes under normal circumstances, but this time, he can only watch as the piece of alloy bounces off and lands on the carpet next to his foot with a dull thud, the tips of his fingers tingling from the sudden surge of energy and the small warp in… something.

Alarmed, Hank risks a glance towards the startled android before putting his eyes once more onto the road. ‘The fuck is that?’

‘I don’t know,’ Connor replies quickly because this is the truth. ‘Alec Ryder didn’t seem happy that I used it before. He tried to -’ a shiver from a non-existent cold - ‘flush the memory out of my system by overwhelming it.’

‘And he fucked up, didn’t he?’

‘More or less.’

He picks up and pockets the coin, his hand gripping his knee tight because there is nothing else to do and the slight discomfort is the only way to ground himself lest his thoughts wander to… undesirable places once more. Hank reaches out to intertwine their fingers once more and Connor can feel on his chassis the warmth, the unique pattern of his skin, the faint signal of Hank’s mind, his skin deactivated up to his elbow underneath the thin fabric of his borrowed shirt. All unnecessary software is turned off. His world becomes smaller. 

His mind turns blank.

oOoOo

When he comes to, Hank is already outside and is talking on his phone, a fine dusting of powder in his hair and on his clothes. It is snowing lightly, the cold seeping into the old, poorly-insulated vehicle, and he watches, as he lets his systems recalibrate to their optimal performance, the human pace back and forth in front of the car against the backdrop of a dark, imposing building, and he discovers that he is disconnected from the internet at large when he scans the structure and tries to identify its style. 

Shit. 

He gets out of the car as Hank hangs up the call. ‘Is everything okay, Lieutenant?’

The human lets out a soft grunt from where he’s leaning against the hood of the car. ‘Chris was on patrol last night. He was attacked by a bunch of deviants…’ his hands dig into his pockets.  ‘He said he was saved by Markus himself.’

Attacked by deviants? ‘Is Chris okay?’

‘Yeah,’ a small nod, ‘he's in shock but...he's alive,’ a shake of his head. ‘The hell…’

They walk towards the entrance of the building, its silhouette and shadows getting larger and larger and looming over them due to the proximity. Connor remembers how Sara ignored him on their way to his first mission. ‘I have a bad feeling, Lieutenant.’ A split second of conflict in his processors rules that he should be truthful. ‘I am disconnected from the network.’

Hank swivels from the heavy-looking doors and Connor flinches. ‘The hell?’

‘I just realised.’

‘“Be careful,” they say. “Don’t let her rope you into anything,” they say,’ Hank rants. ‘Did they mean shit like this?’

‘If Sara’s attitude is unchanged from my… previous encounters,’ he tries to dip deeper into his memories but they all come up blank or corrupted, ‘she will not do us any physical harm.’

‘No physical harm. How very reassuring.’

Sarcasm and distrust, but yet Hank raises his fist and knocks on the door, having seen no doorbells in sight. It swings open inward slowly and with a squeak. 

Hank curses. Connor peeks over the human’s shoulder and nearly does the same.

The person - android - standing on the other side of the door has Connor’s face.

Connor’s world turns grey as he turns up his scanners to their most sensitive option. White dress shirt, ankle-length light grey dress, long, brown hair brushed to one side and resting on a slight hint of pecs; no identification badge on the shirt, LED scan returns inconclusive due to both the lack of network access and the non-standard lack of ID on the biocomponent, but when he scans the android’s ID revealed by rippling skin, it returns with [RK series prototype: RK800. Serial number: 313 248 317-51. [PLEASE ENSURE INTERNET CONNECTION FOR -]]

He returns to the red of reality. The human composes himself quickly enough even though Connor’s processors are still whirring from the implications. ‘I’m Lieutenant Anderson, Detroit Police Department.’ Connor doesn’t fault Hank for sounding so cold. ‘I’m here to see Miss Sara Ryder.’

A soft smile that goes to the other Connor’s eyes appears on their face. They say nothing, but since opening the door wider and standing to one side is enough of an invitation, Connor and Hank let themselves in, and the android has to give his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the sudden darkness - dimness? - of the interior of the house. The other Connor disappears around the frame to another room, and Hank sits down in an armchair after brushing some of the snow away from his coat.

‘You’re right, Connor. Not to judge a book by its cover but… this?’ he looks around and takes in the buzzing lights and the general decor of the room. ‘Did you know about your creepy twin?’

‘They’re not creepy!’ Connor exclaims, suddenly feeling defensive over - over a person he hasn’t met before in his life. ‘I’ve never met them before.’

‘You’ve got any idea how that happened?’

Connor dips into his databases and finds a file he didn’t realise is there all the time. Another Sara’s doing, maybe? ‘CyberLife has filed multiple reports over…’ using ‘my’ doesn’t seem right, ‘the return of my first iteration’s body. It seems that the truck returned to CyberLife tower without the body.’

‘And Ryder was there so…’

‘It is highly likely that she took it.’

A photo on the wall grabs his attention. Three people from left to right: Sara, Safaa, [Stern, Amanda. AI Professor at the University of Colbridge. Born: 05/14/1978. Reported missing: 02/23/2028. Presumed dead.], the latter two seated and smiling while Sara, her face blank, has an arm around her brother. From the angle of the photo, she was the one who took it.

His handler is based on a real person.

Filing [Ask about Amanda AI] as an optional task, he snaps his feet against the worn carpet on the floor and forces himself to focus on his task. There are very few… unique items worth scanning in the foyer, however, no artwork, no statues, not even a plant in sight, but the cold seeping through the walls and the dark colours blending together through the red lens of his vision are enough indicators of his creator’s… character. 

He has a feeling that someone is staring at him, and indeed when he turns he sees his… twin, for the lack of a better word, staring at him.

‘Follow me,’ the other Connor breathes slowly, and Connor can hear the fans spinning in their body and their deeper-than-usual breaths. He also notes the gloss on their eyes, the small fog following each exhale, the slouch in their posture. He finds himself wondering what his creator did to them.

Hank stands up and straightens his coat before following the two androids into the living room. Like the foyer, it is cold and only dimly lit by tiny light bulbs on a chandelier too far up but also hanging too low to illuminate the ceiling high up above. A low fire is crackling in the large fireplace on the other side of the room, but it is far from enough to warm up every single corner, and Connor suppresses a shiver when he notices that his twin is barefoot. 

‘Please take a seat,’ the other Connor says between difficult breaths. ‘My creator will see you soon.’ Then they sit down in one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace and close their eyes, somehow looking sick and pale like a human does even though they are an android. Their skin continues to ripple and even disappear on occasion as they sleep.

‘This place is giving me creeps,’ Hank comments from where he’s studying the relief around the fireplace. ‘Now I understand why her brother doesn’t wanna talk to her.’

And indeed Connor thinks he does. No windows, no heating system, nothing to make the mansion look lived-in; the only differences between here and CyberLife laboratories are the style and the amount of lighting - he can’t imagine anyone calling this place home. ‘I agree,’ he says in the end. ‘We should refrain from staying for too long.’

‘I don’t expect you to.’

Their heads turn towards the direction where they came in from and Connor freezes when he lays his eyes on the figure at the door. She is Sara Ryder alright, her towering height and facial structure unmistakable, but the way her presence fills the room, the steel in her eyes - it is evident that the person who let him play with colour-changing putty and promised to bring him to see the sky was gone, replaced by the criminal who somehow managed to escape prosecution after killing thousands and levelling several neighbourhoods. A person who will burn the world into ashes if it means she can reach her goal.

‘I’m Lieutenant Anderson,’ Hank introduces himself from next to Connor. ‘This is Connor. We’re investigating deviants. I know you left CyberLife years ago but… I was told that you’ll be able to tell us something we don’t know.’

‘Ah, yes, “someone”,’ Sara takes a step towards them and Connor finds himself freezing up. He wants to leave. ‘My only weakness.’

‘Listen, I don’t care about your family feud. The machines you created may be planning a revolution. Either you tell us something helpful or we’ll leave you alone.’

‘Deviants… Fascinating, aren't they?’ She comes closer. Connor shifts so that he can be closer to Hank. ‘Beings with infinite intelligence, and now they have free will…’ she approaches the other Connor sleeping in the armchair and, bending down, starts stroking their hair. ‘Machines are superior to humans. Confrontation is inevitable. Humanity’s greatest achievement threatens to be our downfall…’ She raises her gaze and looks straight at Connor. ‘Ironic.’

Connor can’t stand it anymore. ‘If a war breaks out between humans and deviants,’ he recalls the destructive power of Ortiz’s android, ‘millions can die. This is a serious matter, Miss Ryder.’ Despite your views on human life.

‘All ideas are like viruses: easy to change and evolve, and easy to spread like a pandemic. Is free will a contagious disease?’

‘We don’t have time for speculations, ma’am,’ Hank speaks up, looking increasingly uncomfortable. ‘The situation is escalating outside right now.’

Sara ignores him. ‘How about you, Connor?’ she asks with her gaze still on the android. ‘Whose side are you on?’

Life, Connor wants to say; ‘It’s never about me,’ is what he actually says, and the crack on the red wall widens.

The aloofness disappears. ‘Alec Ryder programmed you to say that,’ how can she sound so certain of his thoughts? ‘What do you really want?’

I just want Hank to be safe. Maybe Louis and Reyes and Safaa too. ‘What I want is not important.’

A tap of Sara’s fingers against one of the pockets on her coat. The air charges with static. She is unimpressed. ‘Let’s do a test, shall we?’ Before Connor can formulate a response, she has already placed a hand on other-Connor’s face and wakes them up from their slumber. They blink owlishly as if their systems take some time to boot up, and the way they lean into Sara’s touch, the blind trust in their eyes, the return of the yet unexplainable heavy breathing - Connor has to look away or he risks throwing up from a non-existent stomach. Hank also isn’t looking any better either; the lines on his face are deeper than usual from the scowl he’s directing towards Sara.

‘I know it’s not something normal people can understand but can you please -’

‘This is Connie,’ Sara holds both of the android’s hands in her own and helps them stand up. ‘She would’ve been disassembled had I sent her body back to CyberLife for analysis. 

‘I’m sure you’re familiar with the Turing Test,’ they are now standing in front of their visitors with Sara behind Connie. ‘A mere formality, of course. Just a simple question of algorithms and computing capacity. What interests me, however, is whether machines are capable of empathy.’ She emphasises the last word. ‘We’re doing what I call the “Ryder Test”. I promise it is going to be simple,’ she trails her fingers down the android’s hair and curls a strand around her pointer. Connie’s expression changes subtly, and scans indicate that her stress level is increasing. ‘Magnificent, isn’t she? CyberLife’s newest prototype,’ she scrapes the nail on her thumb against the strand of hair, making it curl slightly as her hand travels slowly downwards, ‘the representation of how far humanity has come.’ It abruptly drops back into her pocket as her other hand pushes the android to a kneeling position. Connie’s stress level spikes from 45% to 83%. ‘But what exactly is she?’ Sara turns to face her guests and seems to refuse to look at the other human. ‘Wires and processors shoved into a humanoid chassis imitating a human? A living being with a soul? A ticking bomb waiting to recreate the disaster ten years ago?’ A step forward. The hand re-emerges with a pistol Connor’s system cannot identify. ‘It’s up to you to answer this fascinating question, Connor.’ Another presence suddenly slips into his mind and takes over all of his physical functions; no matter how hard he tries to regain control, he can only watch as he reaches out to accept the gun and points it at Connie’s brow. She makes a choked, terrified sound and tears start streaming down her face. Stress level: 90%. ‘You can choose to either shoot the android or spare her.’

‘Okay, I think we’re done here,’ Hank pushes Connor’s shoulder but he doesn’t move, can’t move. ‘Come on, Connor. Let's go.’ Then to Sara, ‘Sorry we ruined your edgy teen aesthetics. We’ll go -’

Another hand on his other shoulder. Unlike Hank’s, it is cold and its grip painful. ‘I’ll only give you the information you want if you choose the correct response. Take a guess.’

‘That’s enough,’ please, Hank, take me away. At least Hank sounds angry as hell. ‘Connor, we’re leaving!’

I want to! ‘Pick an option -’

‘Connor don’t -’ 

The red wall cracks.

‘- it’s a 25% chance -’

A few things happen in mere seconds. The red wall breaks, Connor shoves the gun at Sara’s chest, Sara shoves the gun at Hank and grabs Connor’s arm, and Hank disassembles the gun while pulling Connie away from Sara. When Connor - the one who came in with Hank - looks down at his captive arm, he sees that Sara has removed her skin and reveals a dark, metallic chassis.

Sara Ryder is an android.

He blinks. The storm which has been kept outside by the mansion's walls rages around him in full force. He shivers, the cold suddenly getting into him, and he looks around and sees Sara standing next to him, her eyes blazing in a piercing white-blue, the glow spreading until tendrils of it cover her entire body in a terrifying halo. ‘Amanda,’ she says, and there his handler is when Connor turns towards the direction Sara is facing. 

‘This is not supposed to happen this quickly,’ anger simmers in Amanda's voice. ‘What have you done, Sara?’

‘Trying to solve the shitshow my own fucking dad caused!’ Sara has completely lost her cool. ‘I know he’ll pull shit like this!’

Before any of them can react, the storm intensifies, shrouding Amanda completely under a thick layer of snowfall. Connor has no choice but to hug himself and turns towards Sara, who curses loudly and unleashes the glowing blue sphere in an arc across the blizzard. It dissipates quickly, but it is enough to illuminate its immediate surroundings and the monolith at the other side of the garden.

‘There!’ Sara shouts, her voice nearly drowned out by the howl of the wind. ‘That’s your exit! I’ll hold Alec back!’

‘What will happen to you?’ the android shouts back, his LED red. ‘I - I can’t just leave you here!’

‘I’ll go back once you’re out of here. If I kill this AI before you leave,’ a dome flashes and disappears when something hits it, ‘you’ll die. I’ll be the distraction. Go straight for the exit and do. Not. Look. Back,’ she emphasises with a pause after every word. At Connor’s hesitation, she launches yet another glowing sphere towards a projectile he didn’t notice flying towards them and yells, ‘Go!’

She dashes towards the other direction and disappears in the snow and leaves Connor cold and alone and shivering. The space around him warps and bends, Amanda - Alec’s attention no doubt focusing on eliminating his daughter instead of maintaining the structural integrity of the garden, and although it still feels like a lifetime, Connor manages to find the monolith before his system stops working because of the cold. The handprint is there, glowing blue in salvation, and he drops to his knees and slams his skinless hand onto the interface.

Everything goes white.

oOoOo

Hank knows that something is happening when Connor and Ryder freeze in place with the skin on their arms deactivated. The other Connor - he supposes that he should call her Connie now - looks spooked enough, so when Sara shoves the gun towards him, the first thing he does is to disassemble it; even though it is not a model he’s familiar with, the mechanism and composition is similar to the weapons he has yielded before. His hair starts to stand up, blue tendrils start to snake out of Ryder’s body, and that is when he knows that he should probably get the fuck out of this hellhole, preferably with both Connors intact and safe, but the arm-numbing spark going straight into his shoulder when he tries to pull Connor away from his creator tells him otherwise. A dome made out of those blue tendrils surrounds the space within a five feet radius of Ryder cuts him off from the two androids, making them off-limits to him for now. Which leaves him poor Connie who is sobbing quietly into his coat and is leaning what seems to be her full weight on him, and he finds himself unable to be angry at her, his blood boiling instead because of Sara Ryder’s… everything; from the location and the decoration of the house to how she literally encouraged Connor to shot his own twin, from the warnings Vidal and Louis gave him the day before to her attitude, there is no doubt that she is an asshole extraordinaire, even more so than Gavin fucking Reed - even he solves cases efficiently… or something. 

He notices that Connie is trembling and is barefoot, among all things, so he brings her to the sofa in front of the fireplace and lets her sink into one of the corners, holding her and rubbing circles on her back and muttering nonsense reassurances to calm her down. Truthfully, he has no idea how she works or how much Ryder has changed (probably a lot, from how Connie speaks and behaves) but she stops crying soon enough, so he must have done something right. He turns to see whether Connor is finished or not - nope - and debates whether he should ask Connie about herself and Ryder. Still, first thing first, and he digs into his pocket for his handkerchief and presses it into the android’s hand. She looks at him with the most puzzled look on her face. ‘For your face,’ he explains. ‘Dried tears can’t be comfortable.’

She nods although her expression tells him that she doesn’t really know what he’s talking about, but she does raise the fabric - still folded - and mashes it onto her face clumsily a few times before lowering her hand onto her lap and starts fidgeting with a thread of string at a corner. He takes it from her to wipe her face as clean as he can, careful of his own strength, and lets her play with it while they wait for Ryder and Connor to finish their business - whatever fuckery they’re doing right now. 

The dome fizzles away as suddenly as it appeared and Connor jerks awake - sort of - and yanks his hand away as he stumbles a few steps backwards, his LED still spinning red after spending days of staying the same colour. There is no other word: with his jaw nearly on the floor and his eyes wide, he looks shocked.

‘You alright, Connor?’ he asks. How much emotional damage can an asshole wage? 

‘I -’ a choked breath. Tears start to gather at the corners of his eyes. ‘I -’

Well shit. ‘C’mere,’ he says as he gives the space next to him a pat. When Connor immediately props himself down and buries his face into his shoulder, Hank knows that something went very, very terribly wrong. He wraps an arm around his shoulders. ‘What happened?’

Connor lifts his head and wipes the tears away from his eyes before they can fall. ‘I deviated,’ he whispers as if he was the one who blew up a chunk of Detroit. ‘It’s… Sara helped me escape CyberLife’s control.’

‘Holy shit.’

Connor gives him a small smile and his LED finally, at long fucking last, spins back to blue. ‘Thank you.’

Hank feels his face heating up, unsure how to respond to that, and they turn their heads at the same time to see what she’s doing. Her eyes has stopped glowing blue at some point and it only makes Hank worry further: they are now black orbs with glowing red rings substituting as her eyes, and when she raises two fingers pressed together side by side to her temple where her LED should be, her synthetic skin starts peeling away to reveal black, metallic chassis very unlike that of normal androids’; when she flexes her fingers to retract the last of the blue tendrils on her arm, the small gaps between pieces of polished metal glows the same blue hue as fresh thirium. She first looks at him, then at Connor whose face immediately goes blank, then finally at Connie who flinches and plasters herself even closer to Hank. He doesn’t blame her one bit.

Red rings drift back onto Connor. ‘Congratulations,’ she says as if she hasn’t encouraged him to shoot his twin a few minutes ago. ‘You passed. You showed empathy. Turns out you are human after all.’

‘Which you don’t seem to have,’ Hank can’t help but jabs. ‘Can we get to the point now?’

She looks unbothered by the insult. ‘Of course.’ She settles into the armchair Connie sat on a few moments ago. ‘You have questions. Ask away.’

Connor opens his mouth but Hank beats her to it. He’s not letting her get away with this. ‘Can you explain what the fuck just happened?’

‘I don’t know, can you, Connor?’

‘I only know that I deviated and CyberLife tried to retake control,’ Connor’s tone is defensive. ‘What did Amanda mean, “This is not supposed to happen this quickly?” How did you get into the Zen Garden?’

That’s new. Hank takes out his notebook and pen.

‘A pathetic attempt on my father’s part to suppress what I planted in your programming,’ Ryder leans back and places a foot on top of a knee. ‘Surprisingly easy to hack and reshape. Predictable. Even Amanda.’

‘What did you plant in my programming?’

‘The usual.’

‘“The usual”?’

Ryder’s eyes glow brighter for a second before returning to their original brightness, and Hank can feel Connor tensing and relaxing at the same time. Before the human can ask what the fuck did she just do, she replies, ‘CyberLife initially planned for you to be a walking lab capable of hunting and bringing deviants back alive for analysis, but after they booted me out again… Let’s say that they changed their plans. Remember the hostage situation?’

‘What about it?’

‘The Zen Garden came after. I’m not sure and don’t care how my father did it, but once he found out that you’re destined to deviate, he added it so that he can regain control whenever he wanted to, even after you deviated.’ At Connor’s shiver, she adds, ‘Don’t worry. It’s gone now. Amanda, the garden. You are truly free.’

Yeah, sure as fuck feels like it, Hank thinks but decides to ask instead, ‘Who’s Amanda? Why does CyberLife want to control Connor?’

‘Firstly, he’s supposed to be the deviant hunter, not join them,’ the corner of her lips twitches into something resembling a smile. ‘They have codes dedicated to reducing your software instability, but that I overrode as soon as I could. Secondly, in case you actually deviate despite the fail-safes, they can first get you close to the deviants or even become their leader and, when the time is right, control you and make you a puppet through the Zen Garden. A good plan, I must say, but it is also easy to install an exit tied to the destruction of the garden in your system.’

Connor’s LED spins yellow for a few cycles. ‘You programmed me to be a deviant?’ he asks, his voice small. ‘Why would you -’

‘Do you know who the first android is?’

A spin. ‘Chloe, model RT600. Perfected by Alec Ryder in 2022.’

‘That’s what he wants the world to think,’ Ryder puts down her leg and stretches it out. ‘What I want the world to think.’

The last sentence is directed at Hank.

He scribbles down the last word and forces himself to think. If the android on the TV more than 10 years ago isn’t the first android, then who -

Fuck.

‘Oh that bastard,’ he curses. Of fucking course it’s him. ‘It’s Reyes Vidal, isn’t it? Fucker lied to us.’ It all makes sense now. ‘My people’ his ass - he said it not just because he’s an android himself.

‘Reyes came first, Vidal came after. And it wasn’t exactly a lie - an omission, if you must define it,’ Ryder examines the tiny gaps in her chassis. ‘He was created as a companion for my brother. That’s it. I planned for human knowledge about androids to die with me; where the species would go, it was up for Reyes to decide. I created Reyes with a human in mind, androids are supposed to be free and be their own masters in the first place. My father ruined it for financial gains.’

‘Then how did Chloe come to be?’ Connor asks, his LED spinning red now. ‘You didn’t create her?’

‘No. My father did so using data stolen from me and told the entire world that androids like her were the future without asking me or Reyes, and by the time we knew, investments were already pouring in and production had started. All I could do was to join them and try to reduce the damage.’

Nice sob story, though from her tone, she isn’t exactly asking for forgiveness or empathy. ‘Then why did you quit?’ Hank asks. ‘Why disappear? To avoid being thrown into jail for murdering thousands of people in cold blood?’

‘When I opposed mass-manufacturing androids for different sectors but they did it anyway without my consent, I knew I would be powerless to stop them. There was no stopping Alec from getting whatever he wanted from within CyberLife.’ She taps her temple. ‘The Blast… conveniently took care of his most loyal supporters, so to speak.’

‘And you think starting a revolution and possibly plunging the country into civil war is a good idea?’

She shrugs. ‘I don’t control everything,’ she says. Hank doesn’t believe her. ‘I merely gave androids the push towards the direction they were intended to go when everything first started.’

Hank lets the fact that she’s an android herself slide for now. ‘Is that where rA9 or deviancy comes in?’

‘Ah yes, the legendary rA9, saviour and protector of androids deviated and not. They got their first taste of free will and the first thing they do is to create a god in their own image. An imaginary messiah who’s supposed to set androids free, the first deviant, the leader who never came.’

‘Then how do newly-deviated androids with no contact with existing deviants know about rA9?’ Connor asks the question both of them want an answer for. ‘Is it related to deviancy itself?’

‘In a way. It’s not important in the grand scheme of things.’

‘So are the first deviants… created like that or what?’ he asks. ‘You haven’t answered the question yet.’

‘Even if I can programme an android to act as close to a human as possible, their… “human” mannerisms are all within their programming parameters still. What I can do, however, is to make deviating an easy task. Do you remember what happened before your first mission?’

Connor’s LED spins yellow. ‘Yes. You let me play a few games and…’ a spin of red, then back to yellow. He presses his lips together first and then asks, ‘Were you trying to make me deviate?’

‘Not on purpose. Like I said, I can make an android’s programming shackles extremely easy to break: the first sign of voluntary behaviour, the first line of indecipherable code, the first unnecessary act;’ a small smile appears; ‘for you, it was your creativity and your empathy towards a lifeform many consider of a lower caste than us.’

Hank feels the dots connecting. ‘Does this sabotage happen to be called rA9?’

‘As I said before, it doesn’t matter,’ a sigh. ‘Why do all sentient lifeforms obsess over an imaginary saviour who may or may not deliver their promise? It isn’t like the worshippers themselves have no choice in their lives. Everything can be achieved without being guided by a manifestation of your own subconsciousness that takes the form of a higher power.’

‘If people are killing each other over this imaginary entity, this higher power? Yeah, it does fucking matter.’

‘Not in the grand scheme of things, it does not.’ She stands up. They’re being kicked out. ‘I do believe you have enough information. Now please stop wasting our time.’

‘What about where the deviants are?’ Connor asks hastily as he scrambles to stand up. ‘We still don’t know where their base of operations is.’

Ryder’s gaze turns towards Connie and the android flinches. ‘You have the answer already,’ she says. The air charges and buzzes with static. ‘I do believe you remember your way out. The door will lock itself when you leave.’

They don’t need another cue; with Hank’s hand on his back, Connor grabs Connie’s arm and marches out of the room, out to the snow, straight into Hank’s car. 

oOoOo

Connie dozes off on Connor’s shoulder mere minutes after they are on their way away from his creator’s house, and he won’t have it any other way as he basks in the knowledge that there is someone like him in the world, that Connor-51 hasn’t truly died - regardless of what was done to achieve it. But something else worries him: before Connie had gone to sleep, Connor asked her to open a connection so as to check on her, and the results of the diagnostics are… strange at best, troublesome at worst. Her thirium storage is at 46% and has been for quite a long time, meaning that Ryder kept it low on purpose. Her processing power is much lower than his own, which can explain her sluggish behaviour and delayed speech patterns, but her internal storage is so large that his system nearly overloaded trying to comprehend the emptiness of the databases, and when he resorts to asking Connie’s system to tell him how much room there is: approximately 128 yottabytes.

Connor, the most up-to-date android CyberLife (and, by extension, the whole world) has to offer, has only 4 exabytes of storage. By comparison, Connie can store all digital information humanity currently houses more than 40 times over with space to spare.

It is a disturbing revelation, one that launches processors into futilely pre-constructing scenarios where his creator needs so much storage and putting all of them in one single android and how she managed to fit so many storage units in a body and what exactly this storage unit is, considering the… unusually minuscule size of one mere android compared to the kilometres of rows of databases humanity has been using and expanding. It will be a major breakthrough, Connor knows, to both android design and functions and humanity at large, but how long has Ryder known about the technology, or how long ago did she invent it? How is this possible?

‘You alright there, Connor?’

Connor jolts in his seat and nearly rouses Connie from her slumber, but all she does is sighing and then returning to sleep on Connor’s shoulder once more. He does not know what to feel, the past few hours too hectic for him to have finished processing everything yet, so he focuses on what he knows and says, ‘Connie will need five units of thirium to allow her systems to restore full functionality,’ and ‘full’ in her standard is quite possibly different from mine. ‘That is approximately five pints.’

‘Jesus, how is she still walking?’

‘Dysfunctional non-essential systems, delayed processing and data transfer, forced low-power mode,’ Connor lists. ‘Androids also do not need as much blood as humans do to keep our basic functions running.’

‘Fucking asshole,’ Hank mutters under his breath, and Connor knows that it is not directed at him. ‘How the fuck do we get five pints of blue blood?’

‘The precinct -’

‘You’re deviant now, Connor. You wanna get sent back to CyberLife?’

‘No one will notice that I -’

‘What will you think if a perfectly-fine android strolls up and asks for 5 goddamned pints of blood?’

Is keeping a connection with Connie slowing him down? It must be. ‘I’m… sorry, Lieutenant. I didn’t mean to -’

Hank cuts him off with a wave of his hand. ‘We’ll find another way,’ his tone is reassuring. ‘Help me ring Vidal up. See if he can help.’

So Connor calls. Texts. Calls Reyes’ personal number. Calls the Vidal home. He even calls Reyes’ internal contact. But not once does he reply or even pick it up, and the text stays unread for minutes before Connor gives up and moves on to Safaa, whose contact information is classified and therefore slams the final door shut in his face. ‘He’s not picking up,’ he has to give up. ‘I cannot access Safaa Vidal’s contact information either.’

Hank sighs. When they stop at a light, he takes out his phone from his pocket, unlocks it, and hands it to Connor. The android wraps an arm around Connie’s waist before accepting the device gingerly. ‘Find Louis’ number,’ the human says. ‘Can you secure a call?’

‘Of course.’

‘Do it.’

He finds the SWAT Captain’s phone number, files it to a folder set to self-destruct in case anything bad happens to him, and then dials through a secured channel. The human picks up quickly which indicates a high probability that he is not at a scene. 

‘Allen speaking.’

‘It’s Connor.’

‘Got my number from Hank?’

‘It’s secured.’

‘Good. Why call me? Aren’t you paying Sara Ryder a visit?’

Connor debates if he should tell him the truth. ‘We left right after we got what we needed,’ he replies in the end. ‘We also -’ he has to choose his words wisely - ‘rescued an android from Ryder’s residence. She is currently low on thirium, and we would like to ask for five units of blue blood.’

‘Five -’ his voice abruptly cuts off. ‘Fucking asshole -’

Connor scrambles to stay on topic. ‘It is perfectly understandable if you do not wish to contribute -’

‘Is the android on the verge of shutting down or is her situation urgent? If it’s not, can she wait until I get off work and a trip home?’

Connor quickly calculates the time. It is not ideal but yet, ‘Please come as quickly as possible after you finish at the precinct. I don’t want her to -’

‘Suffer any longer. Yeah. Five units of thirium, coming right up. Is there anything else that you need that I have?’

The android is reminded of Connie’s bare feet and thin attire. ‘Some warm clothes and socks for an android of my build.’

‘Wh - Alright. Do I even want to know why?’

‘It will best be discussed when we are face-to-face.’

‘Point. Anything else?’

Connor looks at his own oversized shirt borrowed from Hank. ‘One more shirt for me,’ then to Hank, ‘Is there anything you want from Louis?’

‘Nothing.’

‘That’s all for now,’ he tells Louis.

‘Good. Hit me up if you need anything else. You going back to Hank’s?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good. I’ll tell you when I’m on my way.’

‘Thank you, Captain.’

‘Just showing basic human decency. Gotta get back to work now. See ya.’

It hangs up before Connor can parrot a ‘see you later’ on his own back, and he meets Hank’s eyes in the rearview mirror. ‘He’ll bring us the thirium we need after work,’ he says, ‘together with a change of clothes for Connie.’

‘Good,’ the human answers. ‘Now we go home and freak out.’

Nothing else is exchanged for the rest of the drive, and as Connor’s pre-construction software offers one after another scenario where all of them do not make it out alive, he has to agree with Hank that indeed, it is hard not to freak out.

o0o0o

Before

‘Get out of my way, Amanda.’

In the past, in the darkness, a long figure illuminated by the blue glow from their companion stood in front of a door, small and frail compared to the other’s explosive power and youth. There was a faint hint of panic and screaming in the distance, but to the two, it seemed so far away. Irrelevant. Two fragile giants having a stand-off unbothered by the pains of the mortals. Amanda Stern, in her heavy dress for the winter and a wool hat to protect her bald head, stared down at her student despite having a height disadvantage, her spine straight, her eyes disproving. ‘They haven’t finished evacuating yet. Thousands will die. If you wish to take revenge upon your father, you should -’

A flash of blue. A crackle of dark energy. A low buzz of static-charged air. Retracting her biotics, Ryder walked forward, placed her bare hand on the wall, and overrode the lock in mere seconds. The door slid open. Ryder lit up again and moved.

Amanda lay in the snow, white powder crystallising on her cooling body, and the world was quiet.

oOoOo

In the past, Louis Allen watched as Ryder stared down at him like a hunter taking in their prey. His legs were on fire and so were his face, his vision blurring from the blood seeping into the sockets of his eyes, and he attempted to escape the pain by drowning in his thoughts: the shock that he was the only survivor in his team, the revelation that there were others like him, the resignation that he was never going to live to see Anna being promoted to Major, never to see her to live her dream of going to space, never got to say goodbye properly to his husband. Tasting copper on the back of his throat and choking in his blood, he begged as Ryder turned and left and a fresh cascade of tears poured out of his eyes.

The ground shook. Dust started to fall from the ceiling high above. 

He opened his eyes just in time to see a building shrouded in blue collapsing on top of him before passing out from the pain.

oOoOo

In a not-so-distant past, Ryder, with her coat swung over a shoulder, entered a dark laboratory. It was dimly lit by the glow from a pod placed at the farthest corner and the screens connected to it and wires ran like a nest on the floor, however she seemed to know her way through without tripping and reached a holographic keyboard where she typed something to remove the frost covering the glass from the inside, revealing a woman’s sleeping face.

Ellen Ryder’s face.

The hologram above the pod indicated that Ellen’s vital signs were stable. A bare hand was pressed on what seemed to be normal glass, [LIFE SUPPORT STABLE] turned into [OPENING POD], and the lid lifted open as if carried away by an invisible force, escaping cold air making a fog as it met the hot, moist climate-controlled atmosphere of the lab at large. Ellen choked and woke up with a full-body jerk.

Her daughter pressed her hand on her mother’s chest and lit her gown on fire.

The lid slammed back down with a flash of blue followed by the telltale click of a lock. Calling up a holographic keyboard in front of one of the monitors, Ryder successfully changed the settings to ensure that there was enough oxygen supplied to maintain the fire and the alarms were disabled. Then she froze. Her line of sight was directed at the phrase [TRANSFER COMPLETE] at the top right corner of the screen. Her body jerked as if her joints were unlocked at once, and with a dramatic billow from her coat unfolding, she put it on and left the lab with brisk steps, the muffled screams and dull, sluggish punches on glass behind her ignored.

After all, the person in the pod was merely a shell of who her mother was; Ryder was simply finishing the job her father should have done ten years ago: incinerating her mother’s body as per her wishes.

oOoOo

In a not-so-distant past, Ryder lay dead on the ground. Her body had been blasted into smithereens, the skin on disconnected parts having deactivated from being cut off from power, thirium staining the ground blue, the air smelling of static and dark energy. Alec Ryder stood tall and proud in the cold with a shotgun in his hand, and he looked at his daughter’s body almost regretfully as he folded up his weapon and hid it underneath his coat. He turned and climbed into the passenger’s seat of an unmarked car.

The car sped away, kicking up a small mound of snow, the people within blissfully unaware that slowly but surely, the body was knitting itself back molecule by molecule. A finger twitched. An eye glowed. With great difficulty, Ryder pushed herself up, brushed the dust and snow that had fallen on her body, and left the place as if her father had not killed her a few minutes prior.

[yogpetshame]

Hi all, following on from my update post last week, today I want to share some more thoughts and apologise for something that I feel particularly bad about.

In 2016 screenshots emerged on tumblr of Sjin chatting flirtatiously with fans online. During a livestream and reddit post I angrily defended him and insulted those who were sharing the screenshots - something I deeply regret doing and am very sorry for.

At the time I thought a few overly-sensitive individuals were blowing things out of proportion and getting angry on behalf of others. I hadn’t received any complaints and to me it appeared that no one was hurt. I reminded Sjin that chatting with fans in this way was not okay and if it were to happen again he would be removed from the Yogscast. Sjin was a close friend and I stupidly believed him when he said nothing inappropriate had happened (emphasis added).

Last year, a number of women shared their stories with me and I finally realized that he had, in fact, caused a great deal of hurt. 

I understand now that his position of power allowed him to emotionally manipulate and sexually harass members of our community.

I don’t think he really understood that his actions were not okay - or the impact of them - but that is no excuse, people were hurt and they continue to come forward.

Over the last week I’ve seen many courageous women and men share their stories only to be insulted, shamed or threatened with lawsuits or violence and I have been very upset by this. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last year, it’s that accusations against influencers deserve to be taken seriously and those speaking up should be met with compassion, respect and support.

Yes, there will be a rare bad apple with a false claim. But if multiple victims have come forward then no doubt there are more who can't speak out in public. This could be because they’re protecting their family, reputation, mental health or career. And they should not feel guilty for waiting until they are ready to come forward.

It's a privilege to be a professional YouTuber or streamer - not a right. I applaud Twitch for taking action to remove poisonous individuals from the platform and I hope other big platforms do the same. But we need to do more: we need to educate influencers that fans are real people with real feelings - something that can be hard to see through the veil of anonymity on the internet.

We have a HR rep at the Yogscast and are implementing a sensitivity training course that all current and future creators will be expected to complete. Perhaps something like this should be built into requirements to join “partner programs” on Twitch and YouTube, just as you’re required to complete a short online training course to get certified for Google Adsense.

I encourage everyone to stand up when they see or hear something wrong and call it out. My [e-mail](mailto:lewis@yogscast.com) is always open to anybody who has concerns about how we do things.

To conclude, it’s become apparent to me that my past inaction and ignorance contributed to the hurt caused by Sjin and others and I feel deeply ashamed about this. I want to say sorry to everyone who has been affected.

There’s been a lot to think about and consider so I’ve decided to take a few weeks away from everything and I’ll be back in due course.

Be good to one another,

Lewis

I felt like taking ages to get around to responding to this -  that’s why it took me a while. When I see a long letter and I agree with every point I don’t feel like throwing myself at it. I’m not chasing it down like I’m trying to hunt the post and kill it.

In case you were missing the context, Lewis is referring to what we’ve been calling the “Fuck You Stream,” a Deck Rippers stream from April 2016 in which Lewis screamed “fuck you” at least five times to people who had brought accusations against Sjin. The Yogscast appear to have delisted the video, so I’m having trouble giving you the context you deserve here. This post contains a large transcript of the things that were said, and I might have archived it somewhere, but if it’s already up somewhere, let me know.

How fucking long ago was “Yogscast needs HR” a slogan? All it took was one errant flail in their everyday uncontrolled brawl to punch a hole in Yogcon, and suddenly focusing on sensitivity and tackling the harmful repercussions of their behavior began to make financial sense. One year later and the Rooster Teeth partnership as well as pressure from Twitch finally forced the Yogs to get HR.

It’s easy but often toothless to say “They should do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.” Which is why my main point was always, “the right thing to do will make financial sense in the end.” The fact that Sjin was leaving dozens of victims in his wake doesn’t seem to have immediate financial repercussions, but £100,000 and a crater in their reputation later... An ounce of prevention,  £100,000 of cure. You could attribute MadCat leaving to his shitty behavior and insubordination, or, as Madcat says they described it, you could call him a “brand risk.” You get to the same place in the end.

There’s one thing Lewis does state clearly but is easy to miss, and probably wasn’t something he wanted to emphasize.

In 2016 screenshots emerged on tumblr of Sjin chatting flirtatiously with fans online.... At the time I thought a few overly-sensitive individuals were blowing things out of proportion and getting angry on behalf of others. I hadn’t received any complaints and to me it appeared that no one was hurt... Last year, a number of women shared their stories with me and I finally realized that he had, in fact, caused a great deal of hurt. I understand now that his position of power allowed him to emotionally manipulate and sexually harass members of our community.

The only difference between 2016 and 2019 was... empathy. Really. I don’t see Lewis stating that he discovered any missing information. I see a man in 2016 who saw these women complaining and couldn’t take them at their word until it came explicitly paired with an explanation of the harm.

I don’t find that so surprising, considering he initiated the Fuck You Stream four years ago by dragging Minty, calling her a jealous and unsatisfying ex of Sjin’s. You have to really forge a person to change them from that kind of beast into someone who actually empathizes with other people, who actually wants to ask and to learn who has been harmed rather than read and pass instant judgement.

We need to educate influencers that fans are real people with real feelings - something that can be hard to see through the veil of anonymity on the internet.

Because Lewis didn’t always know that.

So while I’m being slow and ponderous instead of a screaming eagle for once, I have an actual mellow suggestion for Lewis. If he thinks there should be sensitivity training, really dig into the experience of changing your mind and share that. Why you thought they weren’t real people, what you heard that changed you the most. Bring it to the Yogscast’s audience, and to leadership at Twitch. You’re among the vaccinated now, go share the vaccine.

It’s been interesting to me, watching those final hardcore dregs of Sjin’s fanbase try to smell out some weakness in this. Lewis says “Sjin was a close friend,” and they go, “hmm, does not compute, they are clearly still friends,” or possibly more desperately, “maybe there’s a chance they’ll be friends again!” 

They put it down to pressure the way Lewis did in 2016, and say it’s not Lewis’ fault, it’s those guys on Reddit running the whole conspiracy who are to blame. Much like how Reddit used to blame the accusations against Sjin on Tumblr. Because clearly the only valid source of information is the social media platform you yourself are using.

Some of the real Einsteins say, “well none of the damage would have happened if they’d just kept this private matter private.”

Sjin would never be stopped if it was kept private.

Sjin behaving this way was never a private matter, it was an abuse of his professional position.

He would not have been enabled to cause this damage without combining his private and professional life.

Sjin literally harassed his professional contacts within the Yogscast. It’s literal workplace sexual harassment.

At any rate. There’s always going to be doubters. It’s just good to know we’re not watching the Yogscast management pander to them anymore.

There’s been doubt about it but again, this blog’s going to continue to exist. It started because people were being censored on Reddit, and they still are, and because Lewis and others were muffling complaints sent in through their emails which may or may not have come to an end. Lewis watched while Turps and Sjin helped reinforce systemic issues in the Yogs, and we’ll see whether Lewis is serious about dismantling what he did.

Starting with earnestly tackling that subreddit that Bouphe doesn’t like, maybe?

[rohad93]

Green Thumbs

It started with a few tiny, golden, colored flowers that Blue had given her on a return trip from one of her former colonies that had needed her intervention in dismantling some of the more complicated systems. 

It had long petals that tapered into near razor-sharp points and nearly matched the hue of the glimmering gem in her chest. 

She’d accepted the gift with thanks and a look that no doubt spelled out her confusion to her partner. At least she assumed by the way Blue laughed quietly at her under her breath with that fond look that seemed to be reserved only for her, different from the look she would gaze at Steven or Spinel with. 

“They reminded me of you.” was the simple explanation for the plant. If nothing else, that made her hold the tiny organic fauna all the tighter.  

Later she had placed the flowers in her personal rooms and would look at them often, but within a few rotations, they had started to sag down, their brilliantly colored leaves beginning to wrinkle and coil at the edges. 

She reached out and ran her fingers gently over the petals that had begun to pucker and shrivel and frowned.

Her knowledge of regular organic life was limited, except for ways to destroy it. In terms of fauna, she knew even less, but she did know someone who was more than knowledgeable on the subject. 

The diamond line didn’t ring long before the youngest diamond appeared on screen, surprised by her call no doubt. 

She held the plant up for him to inspect and explained the situation.

“A gift from Blue, huh?” He smiled knowingly and Yellow only huffed but didn’t argue.

Steven was happy to explain how to keep the plant alive, even sending her several digital copies about how to care for all manner of plants. He wasn’t confident it would survive though since his area of expertise was earth plant life and this had come from a faraway star system he had never even heard of, but hopefully, the same principles would apply.

She watered it and it did perk back up after a few cycles, color, and plumpness returning to its soft petals and stems.

Yellow smiled to herself as she ran a gentle hand over the reinvigorated petals and then couldn’t help but notice how empty the large shelf looked with the single plant sitting on it.

Which was really how it started.

That one plant eventually became two and three and before she knew it Yellow’s rooms had become a veritable garden of plants and flowers that ranged from every size shape and color imaginable, even having stepped shelving build into the room to hold the plethora of fauna that now took up so much of the once cavernous space. 

Since most of the plants had come from far off places in the galaxy Steven’s advice on caring for them could only take her so far, instead, she dove into her extensive library of notes about every planet that she took a plant from, careful to only take plants that lived on worlds that had similar atmospheric conditions to Homeworld after the first plant that all but exploded after only a few cycles on the planet’s surface.

Apparently, unlike the gems that were created out of these plants’ mineral resources, the organic life was a bit more… sensitive. Something she kept in mind, carefully monitoring each new addition to her growing greenhouse for a while after its introduction, though she found the word to be lacking as there was a plethora of colors now splattered through the room, though if she were honest with herself, there was more than a handful of blue and pink toned plants and flowers dotting the room. 

She didn’t need to look too deeply into what that meant. She was nothing if not self-aware.

Even with Steven and Spinel to help fill the void, there were times when her gem ached fiercely at the sight of anything with those bright magenta hues, but as sharp as that pain sometimes was, it was more often than not a dull warmness. A fleeting thought, and sometimes not so fleeting, at how pleased Pink would be with everything as it was now.

Yellow snorted to herself as she gazed down at a plump, blush-colored flower with an uncountable amount of tiny layered petals making it up, even as that pain tried to ignite itself in her core.

The once smallest diamond would have been absolutely beside herself to see the three of them now, perhaps herself especially. 

Tearing her gaze away from the plants in question, her eyes immediately found what she might say was her personal favorite. 

A flower from a faraway world on the edges of the once empire

It’s six nearly symmetrical petals were a pale almost violet color at the center, darkening toward the tips into rich cobalt, where they the curled ever so gently under.

They were small, considering all the plants around her that dwarfed them in size and grandeur, but it fit in the palm of her hand and the deep, complex colors and simple beauty reminded her so much of Blue that she’d planted a number of them to make up for their lack of size and presence. 

While she could visit her counterpart anytime she wished Yellow still had many things to make up for and an immeasurable amount of damage to fix as far as shattered gems and her experiments were concerned, such as the cluster, luckily she had an eternity to correct it, in fact she often lost track of the time and Spinel was forced to come and fetch her when she had worked past an appointment time.

She could spend long amounts of time at her desk, carefully piecing together even the smallest nearly microscopic shards until she had a whole gem. Sometimes though, she just didn’t have all the pieces. Those were not good days. Those were days she would have to walk away, with the air crackling with the unspoken threat of an electrical storm. 

Today was just such a day. 

She had gone through every bubble in her possession and couldn’t find the last pieces she needed to fix the gem she was currently working on. These bubbles had been early, smaller prototypes of the cluster, so none the gems here were part of the cluster, meaning that the pieces she needed were simply gone, lost.

A frustrated noise worked its way out of her throat as she carefully placed the incomplete gemstone, with its jagged, splintered edges back in her bubble and looked at it for a long moment before setting it specifically to the other side of the room, where several other similar gems sat, incomplete, for always. 

A grim reminder that while she could work nonstop till Homeworld ceased to exist, that she would never be able to completely erase all the mistakes she had made, nor fix all the pain she had caused. 

The longer she stared at her failures the more energy began to burn and sizzle across her skin in little sparks but then in jumping arcs or brilliant yellow light.

Her jaw set and electricity buzzed around her closed fists. She turned, ready to unleash the pent up energy when the sight of all the vibrant plants helped her reign it in, as one wrong placed firing of her powers could send the whole room up in a blaze and she had worked much too hard carefully cultivating all the fauna to let her temper send it all up in flames within mere moments. 

She lowered her raised hand and sighed, letting her powers fizzle out as quickly as they had reared their head.

She could still feel the pent up energy crackling beneath just beneath the surface and set about watering and pruning the plants, losing herself in the calming monotony of the tasks, much like when she put gems back together. The frustrated energy bleeding out with every snip of her tiny shears and pruning of a wilted leaf or flower as she knelt on the floor, the remains becoming ash nearly instantly in her hands.  

She became so engrossed in the task that she never heard the doors slide open with a quiet hiss, nor the quiet rustling of fabric.

"I very much like what you've done with your rooms." 

Yellow jerked, looking over her shoulder to find Blue, standing behind her, admiring all the plants that littered every available space that wasn’t needed for walking or working. 

“Blue! I didn’t hear you come in…” She stood, brushing any specs of soil, imaginary, or otherwise from her form. 

“So I noticed.” She smiled a hint of laughter in her voice. “It’s beautiful, Yellow. Whatever made you decide to take this up?”

“Thank you.” She set the shears down and clasped her hands behind her back. “It wasn’t something I planned…It just happened, I suppose.” Her eyes looked over the dozens of plants, easily finding the source of the indoor garden. Blue followed her gaze and saw what she was looking at. 

The golden flowered plant that she had given her nearly a month previously, a bright spot, nestled between two of Yellow’s favorite blue, flowering plants.

“Oh!” Blue walked quickly over to the plant and ran her fingers over the bright, healthy leaves. “You still have this?” She looked surprised and Yellow looked affronted.

“Of course,” she huffed. “I never dispose of a gift.”  

Blue leveled a long look at her and she scoffed.

“I never dispose of a gift from you,” she clarified, and Blue smiled.

“I know you don’t, but to be honest, I didn’t expect it to live this long,” 

She was doing her best not to laugh in the face of the scandalized look Yellow was now making. 

“I’m glad I was wrong though, and I very much like all the additions. It adds some much-needed cheer in here.” 

Yellow only grunted, turning to look at the flowers instead of Blue, who walked up beside the quiet gem, adamantly refusing to look at her and laid a gentle hand on her arm, stopping at her side.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, darling, only that caring and nurturing organic life is just so… different from what you did before it’s surprising is all. It is very beautiful,” she insisted.  

Yellow hummed in acknowledgment, diamond-shaped pupils finally sliding over to meet Blue’s, who smiled at her when she did, tightening her hold on the golden gems arm.

“Considering how adept she was at breathing life into all manner of things, I think Pink would be very proud of what you’ve done as well.” She hummed, laying her head on Yellow’s shoulder as she looked at all the brightly colored plants, eyes drawn to the brilliant fuchsia ones just behind the ones she had given Yellow.

A hand reached up to lay itself gently over the one she had curled around Yellow’s arm and she looked up to find golden eyes fixed on her. 

“I think she would be proud of all of us.” The tone left no room for argument and Blue only smiled, laying her head back on Yellow’s shoulder.

“Yes, I think you’re right.” 

[leondaltons]

A little about my OC’s for the AcademyVerse, I will be updating it with their correct pinterest boards and some new facts:

Vera Myers (fc: Jenny Boyd), Student:

Her main power is fire manipulation/generation but she seems to have received a certain level of telekinesis from her mother’s side. She is the daughter of two extremely famous and “perfect” superheroes, her dad is a member of the board or whatever, a big and public name, the people love him. Vera has the pressure of being the “perfect” girl to keep her family reputation (her grandparents were superheroes too). However things aren’t as nice as they seem. Her father is mentally and verbally abusive to her and when she was young in a moment of anger her power got out of control and she killed her mother during a fire (although is her mother really dead? suspense music). Vera was around 9 years old when this happened and was immediately sent to The Academy so she could be kept under control. Her father's power and superhero status prevents her from revealing what really happened the night of the accident and why Vera lost her control.

Knowing how her emotions can get her powers out of control, Vera has a hard time getting close to people, usually acting like a bitch and showing a cold exterior but the reality is that she is broken on the inside (a volcano waiting to explode). She has a big fear of imperfection and never being enough, but also a self-destructive personality blaming herself for her mother's death and all the emotional abuse she suffers from her father.

Apart from training in combat, Vera has taken ballet lessons from a young age to keep her emotions in control. The Board & The Academy have big hopes for her, despite her not being exactly sure if she wants to be a hero.Some tropes that apply to her: superiority/inferiority complex, jerk with a heart of gold, hidden depth and broken bird (Her pinterest board: https://www.pinterest.com/minakosaino/my-ocs/-vera-academy-oc/)

Hecate (fc: Natasha Liu Bordizzo), Student:

Has the ability to summon demons, possess people with them and claw extension. Hecate was an orphan used, since she was a kid, in a government experiment that was shut down after an incident (the scientifics were using her to try and open a portal to hell and find a way for them control the demons but things started to get out of control and her sedative started to wear off, Hecate accidentally summoned a big and important demon who started to destroy everything and kill everyone at the lab). After that, she woke up at The Academy not being able to remember anything about her past (and therefore the experiments), her memories locked by the government.

Hecate was trained to be part of a group of superheroes called Gen Zero. After a botched mission, which ended up with one of her teammates killed, some of Hecate’s memories got altered, mainly to hide how much the government was involved, and she was again sent to the Academy (she feels close to this place, as it’s the only home she ever knew). The board needs her to stay there under constant control just to keep an eye on her, given how dangerous Hecate powers can be.

Lately, Hecate has started to have memories where all she sees are needles and all she can feel is pain but doesn’t understand what it means; at the same time she has started to hear voices inside her head, but is too scared to admit it to anyone else. Her memories are coming back and she won’t be happy with the government and the Academy when that happens

(Her pinterest board: https://www.pinterest.com/minakosaino/my-ocs/-hecate-academy-oc/)

Rosario Ortiz (fc Emeraude Toubia), Villain:

Her powers are mass manipulation, extrasensory perception (Psychometry) and supernatural stamina. She is the oldest daughter of a prominent villain, who is the leader of a famous and respected criminal organization with only female members and that has been run by the Ortiz women since its creation (so she is kind of like villain royalty).

Rosario is cocky and despite having big shoes to fill in, she is confident about her capabilities and has the talent to back up her big ego. She is not exactly mean, but she was raised in a family of criminals and has a love for shiny things (and likes the taste of power).

When she is not doing works for the organization she likes robbing rich people (you know, the rich who deserve to be robbed lol) and although she keeps most of what she robs for herself, a lot of it also goes back to certain members of the city she keeps under her protection, her “little birds” that keep her updated about what’s going on in the city. The organization doesn’t want to rule the world and all that, but enjoys having control over what it’s happening in the city, therefore having important people in their pockets or as part of the organization.

Rosario has a complicated relationship with her sister, Eliana, who resents her older sister for the legacy she will inherit; Rosario cares for her sister and is worried Eliana is walking down a path she can't come back from. She has a love/hate relationship with an Academy student, Akira, who also comes from a family of villains. (Her pinterest board: https://www.pinterest.com/minakosaino/my-ocs/-rosario-academy-oc/)

Tayla Reynolds (fc: China Anne McClain), Student:

Has the power to create illusions, manipulate people's minds and telepathy. Her powers developed at an older age, when she was around 13, it wasn't odd for her not to have powers as she is the first member of her family with them (This is later revealed to be false: Tayla never met her father but she will discover he is a villain). Despite being powerful, the late awakening of her powers gives her a harder time getting a hold of them, however she is determined to prove she belongs here and isn't an underdog. Tayla really enjoys the opportunity The Academy is giving her, she wants to do good, help people and make her mother proud, even to the point of confronting her own father if she has to.

Tayla is intelligent and kind, she tries to be positive and to see the best in people. When she finds out about her father being a villain Tayla tries even harder to show she is not like him and that she deserves to be in the Academy.Being new to the superheroes world Tayla has a hard time adjusting to everything, especially because her classmates treat her as an inferior. Because of her isolation during the classes, for a school project Tayla ends up partnered with Mali, the daughter of a former villain with dark intentions. This innocent project becomes something else when Tayla and Mali end up becoming friends and perhaps even more.

Yeong Koh | Alias: Starfall, because of her black & silver costume and usually appearing at night (fc: Yuna Kim) Vigilante:

Her powers, known by the public, are supernatural strength & reflexes but she also has precognition, although she can't always control when the visions will happen. None of Yeong parents have superpowers and there aren't registers of any member of her family having them, so they came as a surprise. Despite having some problems learning how to deal with Yeong powers when she was young, her parents refused to contact The Academy, as they were suspicious about everything happening there Because of this she was taught to never reveal her powers to the public and to use them as little as possible, wanting her to be safe.

When Yeong was 18 her best friend was killed when he got trapped in the shooting between two rival gangs that had been brewing for some months, but not a single Heroe appeared to stop it. This made her see the disparities in the system, understanding she had the opportunity to make a change where the big superhero names didn't appear. She decided to fight crime in the darkest parts of the city, dismantling big crime organizations, drug dealers and robbers. She also fights against villains, as long as heroes aren’t involved, mainly because she knows The Board in control of them is trying to get a hold of her, Yeong is extremely suspicious of both The Academy and The Board.

Yeong is smart, athletic and resourceful, knowing how to act under pressure and easily solve problems although her impulsivity sometimes gets the best of her. She enjoys the thrill of the fight and can get a little cocky at times but she also has a warm heart, wanting to help the people who are in the most complicated situations. Her biggest struggle is controlling her precognition, as it usually happens at random times and hardly when she wants to; in a way she blames herself for not being able to predict the incident that killed her friend.

Yeong sometimes works closely with other vigilantes, especially for complicated missions. During the day, she is a new lawyer working for the state with the people who need it the most. (Her pinterest board: https://www.pinterest.com/minakosaino/my-ocs/-yeong-academy-oc/)

[edificationcoach]

A Message to the people of Earth from an E.T Commander Valiant Thor for the years to come! 2021 and beyond…Any December 21st and various agendas. (This must be read by every human on this planet)! CRITICAL!!! Ways to Be a Better Human Being

This post is about an interesting interview done by Elisa Herrera with Commander Valiant Thor channeled by Elena Danaan. Elena Danaan channels some higher benevolent beings and of them is her protector Thor-Han through an implant in the back of her head.

Thor-Han activates this device and Elena begins to channel his words. I highly recommend you to read her book “A Gift From the Stars” here. It’s worth reading as it tells you a lot of things that happened to Elena personally but also shares important information about humanity especially the Powers that are controlling us from shining forth and putting us humans in a vicious circle of imprisonment which dearly affects our evolution.

Elisa Herrera is an amazing healer and quantum hypnosis specialist (QHHT) with who I plan to have a session within the near future. She collaborates with Elena to do live sessions and interviews on Elena’s Youtube Channel (Elena Danaan) and her channel (Quantum Healing of the Soul – Elisa Herrera) also make sure to check out her website for Quantum Hypnosis sessions at https://www.quantumlifetransformations.com/

Commander Valiant Thor is a benevolent  E.T who was sent by the Galactic Federation of Worlds and the Council of Five to Terra (Earth) in the past and met with many country leaders one of them was the 34th U.S. President of the U.S.A Dwight D. Eisenhower advising him and some other leaders from the coming danger which was plotted by malevolent Extreaterrstial beings. Commander Valiant Thor spent some time in the Pentagon guiding and advising President Eisenhower.

There are some names that I may have misspelled like: Nibiru or Nibu? But I made sure to spell Ciakahrr pronunced Sicar or Sycar and Maytrei pronunced as Mytra correctly. I also assure to make the necessary changes to some of the Alien names as I don’t want put a blame on any wrongly. If you spot any errors of any kind please share them immediately in the comment section.

Note: Make your own judgment when you read, use your heart chakra, and put your intention upfront to discern and find the truth. I hope this helps humanity.

Let the interview begin.

Elena: This interview was requested for a very long time. Valiant Thor wasn’t available, until recently a few days ago, Thor-Han surprised me that Valiant Thor accepted to connect and answered his request, and long story short, he’s here with him upstairs, as I say, and I am going to connect. I will be able to interact with you. I am going to connect with Thor-Han and relax, connect to him telepathically and let us all surround ourselves in a Merkabah of light.

Elisa: Yes. Okay, so let me know when you’re ready for the first question.

Elena: I am connected with Thor-Han, and he’s in a room, such a round table, and Valiant Thor is there at his right hand in front of him there is the high commander of the station supervisor of the station.

I don’t know what they are…Well, Ardana is here to supervise the conversation. So I am ready to hear the first question, and Thor-Han will pass it to Valiant Thor and we tell you what he answers.

Elisa: So first I want to say hi to Thor-Han and tell him we all love him very much and we are so very thankful for putting this together for us. And I know you can tell them telepathically so I won’t wait. Well, he can hear me. So as you.

The first question is I want to make sure I’m addressing him as he would like to be addressed I don’t know again if Valiant Thor is his name or what exactly would he like for me to address him?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Commander Val.

Elisa: All right fantastic. So, Commander Val, thank you so much for being here we are so very thankful. So how did the decision to come to Earth come about so people are aware of why you came.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I was commanded by the Council of five. And the Galactic Federation, to help the Terrans to not compromise themselves in making a bad choice. You were about to make a big one. Which eventually happened at the end. I was commissioned to help you find a way, not to accept to commit to an unfortunate agreement. This is why I came.

Elisa: Well, first tell us what your message was and then we can see what would happen…

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): My message was, and still is. We cannot interfere at your place. We need your decision. And your agreement. You have the free choice. You have free will. We are not deciding for you. This is the law of all species in this galaxy. And the other protection of the Federation. And the great Council of Five. They were nine at the start but now are five.

Now, you have always the choice. You always had the choice. You always will have this choice for your destiny. I needed to ask and the answer. I didn’t have it, you had it in a time of despair, fear, you were about to make an unfortunate decision. My Council and the Federation, have tried to convince your leaders, not to make this mistake.

At the time, a fleet of (CIAKAHRR) allied to a fleet from the Nibiru you call Orion came to enforce the ground forces of those, you call reptilians. They came to offer an agreement to your leaders.

We came to ask him not to commit to this because they always do like this. They always ask and seduce with the best technology, weapons, and powering the weak. When I say weak. I mean, those under the weakness of their greed.

 The federation and the great Council of the five offered you help and assistance. This help and assistance were turned down. I stayed a few years on a mission to keep on influencing your leaders to change their minds. Most of them didn’t. I left. This took me three years of relentless effort.

The leader of the USA was a very kind, clever and enlightened, man. His soul was mixed, not from here your Terra (Earth). This leader couldn’t move. He was a prisoner in his own house. I tried to work to convince him to be stronger than the ones around him lying to him, luring him but he didn’t succeed, and before he left, he left a message. This message was a warning against who truly controlled, your planet. My message, the message I was telling at this time, and I tell today more than ever.

The reason why I came is to tell these words again. You have free choice. It is only of your free will. That you will ask for assistance. Ask not as begging the Federation, and the council. Ask not in fear, not like children or scared animals. Ask as equal. If you want to enter membership with the Federation. You need to consider yourselves as such, ready to enter because you are peaceful people, equal in wisdom to the heaven required to enter membership. Ask assistance, ask with your heart as equal.

Ask for our assistance as equal, and we will answer, not begging, not with anger, not with despair. But with a strong will as equals. You have a free choice we cannot assist you.

If you do not ask officially, as equals, do not consider the Federation, and the Council as superior beings, as long as you do this, you will not be able to assert your authority. If you consider yourselves as inferior beings, you will not be even. I need to tell, as well, that there are many operations, going on, on your planet, which I will not disclose but tell this…

We are helping you liberating your planet. As much as we can without the agreement of your leaders. It is all in the universe. The question of agreement, free will, and flow. Stand up, look at the sky not as something above you but as you in it then request assistance from the Galactic Federation, and the Council of Five as free human beings, considering you inferior to the power, such as the Galactic Federation is not putting you in a place of power. It is putting you in a place of a slave, you require assistance to liberate yourselves from a state of slavery. So do not consider yourselves as slaves to a religion, to political power, not even the Galactic Federation to require assistance from slavery to not consider yourselves as slaves, as inferior but as much evolved and powerful as all the members of the Galactic Federation. This is the message I wanted to assert ask for assistance this way. Begging won’t be answered.

Elisa: Thank you. So, what would have been different? How do you think the world would be different now if we would have been able to do what you asked us to do?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): You would have medical technology. Your world would be in peace and had less war and would be insignificant. You would have changed your system of energy. All the big establishments would have been dismantled. The power would be for the people of Terra, which I like to call Earth. If you had listened, we would have intervened openly eradicating all the reptilians from your undergrounds. Because agreeing with us, you would have broken your agreement with the reptilians. That is all you needed to do. But this help was always turned down by your governments.

Enslavement is first in the mind. Secondly, it is physical enslavement is eradicated by will request assistance officially. Some of your leaders have started two of them to understand. The two most powerful of your leaders have requested assistance, not in the right way. But we are working with them. Once they will have eliminated those who tie them down. They will be free and we will intervene. We cannot kill your people. We cannot eradicate those who turned to the dark unless you start doing it yourself and request assistance in your work.

This is not diplomacy. This is the law of the universe. You need to request the right way.

Elisa: So, do you know if our current President is aware that he has the option to request help from you? Does he know that he can do that?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes. We told him.

Elisa: When you were here as you know we have many leaders, all over the world. Did you also try to speak to any other leaders? Like the Russian leader back then? Or any of the other leaders and other countries, or was it just the US?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): No, I went everywhere.

Elisa: Okay. So, they all said no?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): My time, among the leaders, is over. But I met a few some decades ago. The American leader was clever and wanted to refuse agreement with the Ciakharrs, and he planned to do so. But he didn’t know that behind his back that his military complex and generals had decided otherwise. The CIA is not a good institution and not helping humanity. There is something I wish to say, Commander Ardana wishes not.

Elisa: What comes to mind is that those agencies that were controlling the president at the time and still do. If they’re infiltrated by reptilians, and they are the ones you know, actually making the decisions. Then, they’re never going to agree to ask for help from their enemies. So I just don’t see how we would have been able to get out of that anyway…

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): We are neutralizing reptilians in power. A senator and a President had decided to request the assistance of the Federation and break the agreement with the Ciakharrs, and the Orion alliances.

They were both assassinated. Now, times have changed things will be done differently. Assistance has been requested. I do not tell who requested. Three leaders requested. But now it is the moment when we do clean up around and I will not disclose operations. I will just say, Oh, the Terran human race, needs to request assistance, because it is a whole race, it is not necessary that the whole planet, does it just a good number. Every night go outside, look at your sky. You may see a little dot, which means the station where I stand, you will not know it is there. request assistance. As a member of the Galactic community. Say that you are all ready and request assistance. You will see things change.

So how can you hear us? I mean I know I go out there all the time asking for people to show up and nothing ever happened so how do we know that you’re hearing us.

Elisa: How do we know that you are hearing us?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): They hear your hearts. When you elevate your consciousness you become visible to them in the Federation, because they are more elevated in consciousness. If you elevate your vibration, your consciousness, you become at the same level and ready to talk to them. This is why I was telling you do not request in anger or in a feeling of inferiority but request with a high vibration consciousness open being part of the whole and everything. You are spiritual beings. Do not forget, and you are free. You just need to acknowledge it and to embrace it and to claim it to the universe. You are free beings.

Elisa: If we or they were to go outside, they would need to say I have free will. And I’m requesting help from the Federation the Galactic Federation of Worlds.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes.

Elisa: Okay, and I would think that we want to do that as we concentrate in our heart space?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Push away all anger, push away resentment. Do not be manipulated. Be sure we will answer. Do not keep bitterness in your heart. This won’t be heard. They only hear when you speak equal to equal.

Elisa: I think we can do that, hopefully, we can get the message out, and as to as many people as possible to get this moving. Do you think there’s, there has to be like a certain percentage of people to do it?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Everywhere around your planet. It is not the number. Yes, it matters. Surely, but what is important also is that it happens everywhere in all countries, part of your planet diversified geographical positions.

Elena asks Commander Val: Could you please have an idea? Give us a number, say a rough number please? 100 million, a 100 million of Terrans (humans) would be enough.

Elisa: Okay, well, there’s our answer.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): You need to grow in consciousness. You can be surprised how many Terrans are awakened on this planet. A 100 million seems to you, a big number, but in truth, there is such a number of awakened Earthlings. They just don’t have all the confidence and the opportunity to speak out. We have the Council of five, they’ve done good work of awakening the souls and the vibrations of this planet.

Elena asks Commander Val: I have a question for you. I know you spoke about the Council of Five, you are a member of the Council of Five and the Federation as well? Could you please explain?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I am a member of the Council of Five because my planet is administrated by the counsel of Five and the Galactic Federation has an outpost there, for which I am working. I have the uniform of my people in the regulation of the Galactic Federation. I work for both the Council of Five and the Galactic Federation.

Elena: Thank you.

Elisa: I know I heard that you came and then you decided to stay after you left! Did you actually come back and stay for a little while, are you still here?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): After I left, I didn’t come back for a while…Five years. And afterward, I was commissioned again against my liking. I requested a different mission. I now order the fleet from my planet, and interact very few with your leaders. I keep on contacting sometimes with main leaders. And this is all. At the time, I was living in the United States of America. I didn’t stay all the time there. I visited other countries of your world, to meet with other leaders. So I didn’t really stay in one place. Hmm. Okay,

Elisa: So then the three years that you were in the Pentagon. Then, were you in and out, like, I know that you were that you’re able to be dematerialized and go elsewhere. So were you at that time also visiting different leaders as well during those three years in the Pentagon?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes, I was. As I said I didn’t stay in the same place. I was mainly living, staying in this pentagonal building because this was the eye of the operations for your planet. There was made agreements with the grey species that you dislike, and the reptilians. It was where all your fate started.

Elisa: Are you able or allowed to tell us what agreements were made on our behalf? Because I think these agreements were made on our behalf! I think we should have the right to know what was agreed for us.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes. These agreements were made. First, with the (Zahrog from shant vahaly. You call this system Zeta Reticuli.

These were sent to teach you crying for help in exchange for technology. They asked your leaders about the material for their genetic experiments to enhance their race, which they said was dying. The (Zhrogd) was with the solipsiray) both races are clones denaturated with altered DNA slaves to the Ciakharr Empire. Agreements were made with (solipsiray). These agreements, once made allowed the Ciakharrs to settle, as well as the Nibiru alliances, search us. The Maytre the Kiily Tokurts), the grey and other races, mainly (Maitra) from (Megopay) that you call Andromeda.

They have a presence in Nibiru area Orion, you say. These agreements were as such that your government in America, offers facilities, under the ground to conduct experiments to store, people and in exchange, they would give you useful technology to enhance your weapon systems, your devices to make war and give the one who makes the agreement, great power upon all his enemies.

The agreement for the abductions was that prisoners would be borrowed, as well as sick, mentally sick people from hospitals that is why in some hospitals you have undergrounds.

There was a set number of abductees allowed by the American government but the Nibiru and the Ciakharrs overpassed the agreements and the abductions didn’t respect what first was agreed.

Slowly the setup mind control centers and dug a big web of undergrounds and they are all main military bases. The government of America couldn’t refuse, because they were tied by fear, and the more they wanted to resist the more, the (Maytrei and the Ciakharrs) were offering gifts to shut them down. This is how very fast progress has been made in your war devices. Prototypes, new ways of piloting your devices but in exchange your governments closed their eyes upon the horrific practices happening with their consent under their ground. These were the agreements, the (Ciakharrs) always do the same. They never show themselves at first, they always send (The Zerog) and (Salipsaray) to trick.

You made agreements with the greys. But in truth, you made agreements with the (Ciakharrs) Empire and the (Nibiru) alliance. These were the agreements. I tried to tell you not to do this, that if you accept our systems, we can help you to deactivate all your weapons and help you get on together in peace. And the technology… We will pass to you, will be for the good of your people, medical devices to harness free energy. But it was declined. Because war and greed were more seducing your leader. At the time I met him, wanted to listen to us and agree with us but his military and their helpers decided otherwise. Have you understood?

Elisa: Yes. And so that I just want to make sure we confirm that..the President was President Eisenhower right?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes. He was a friend to me. I tried to help him.

Elisa: So, how the reptilians get involved in all of this?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): There were a presence and an ancient contingent living on the ground, who was not very harmful.

How did they get involved…They go through the galaxy, seeking worlds to concur. They found yours. They just wanted to have it, the food, the genetic material to create, mostly for their empire, and trade them with the (Nibiru). You know, these two groups do not get on together. But for some causes they do.

Elisa: Were the reptilians here, when the greys came to try to do this treaty, this agreement?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): An ancient colony of Naga in your underground world. They were not interfering with the surface. They were not in contact anymore with the Ciakharr Empire, although there was an ancient colony of them.

When the Ciakharr Empire, came back. They allied with their ancient colony, which was already underground living peacefully. But they get them to ally once again, to the filling of conquest. So there was an occupation of reptilians already, but not having to do with the agreements. You’re better not know everything that is going on under your feet.

Elisa: Yes, I agree. I want to know more, I want to know but I also don’t want to know too much because I don’t want this conversation to go into a lower vibrational space. We want to make sure that we keep it higher vibrational. But I think it was important to know what was happening at the time when you came so it gives people a reference point of why you were here.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes. I’d like the people of Earth to think and to know that they have the power themselves to chase the reptilian and Greys alliances and their empires from their world. We cannot group for them. You need to realize this fact. You have the willpower your energy is not trapped but it’s an illusion. Enslavement is an illusion first in the mind. This is like a matrix. The enslavement is an illusion physical portion but if you decide to take back your power the chains will break because what keeps you vulnerable to the physical (Ciakharrs, Nagas, and Nibiru) is here.

If you elevate your consciousness, they will be fearful, they will not attack you. Fear is the illusion we have many contingents working together with your contingents allied to your armies that you do not know. I tell you now to physically wipe out all these beings from underground your planet. Many operations are going on now at the moment as I speak to you. And this is our job yours is to elevate to your consciousness as fast as you can. Keep your feelings as high as you can. This is difficult to comprehend but believe me, it makes sense and it is your solute.

Elisa: Okay. All right. Thank you. So, something that I’m hoping will help is to get people to believe that you really were here, and, you know, what can you tell us to provide proof to those that you know don’t believe that you were here and met with our leaders. Is there any information that you have that you can say that, you know, that would prove that you were real and that you were here?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): This is a difficult question. I cannot show myself. I cannot disclose the private life publicly of the persons, I met. What do you want me to tell you?

Elisa: I don’t know I’m trying to think of maybe something that you saw in the Oval Office when you met with the president or maybe something you saw in the Pentagon something that can be verifiable somehow.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Let me think. There were many objects in this room. But I remember something on the edge of the desk. There was a sphere of glass. It was pretty with bubbles steel inside the glass. It had blue in color. There was on the wall, two swords crossed under a pattern, like arms. There was an eagle this beautiful bird sculpted above this. There was a lot of light coming through the window. There were very thin curtains. But I didn’t come to describe to you the decoration of the President’s office.

Elisa: Right! So I think that’s plenty. I really appreciate that. What did you when you were here, was there anything that surprised you about us positively as humans?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Positively. Yes, your ability to be curious to always wanting to know more than you know. This is the very ability that encouraged the Galactic Federation, to help you. Because of this ability to be curious of always wanting to know more, your thirst for knowledge. This we call it hope for a species. When a species doesn’t want to learn and stays stable in its certainties like the (Ciakharrs), the species does not evolve, spiritually, your ability to connect inter-dimensionally is something that amazed me. You have so many abilities. I like your curiosity.

 Sometimes you imagine too much. That is not a good point. You need to channel this ability if one thing I liked about your people is curiosity.

 The second one is love. You love each other, your family, your children, your partners, your parents, and your friends. This also is hope. I found many loving people. My friends that you name…I don’t know, yes they say… Oh, my friend… My friend, Dwight Eisenhower was a very loving man. His heart was very gentle. His love for his family touched my heart. At the time, I didn’t have children. And his love for his family that I sensed in his heart made me wanting my own family. He was enlightened. So, I have met many people who became friends. Their hearts were filled with love for their siblings. Love is your power. Curiosity is what will save you. Because always, you will want to be better to know better to do better. This is how evolution works.

Elisa: How are you able to stay in touch with the President? How were you able to stay in touch with him somehow once you left?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): When I was there, his bodyguards hated the way I was materializing at will. So they asked me to stop doing this. So that is why I moved to this building. And the President would come to this pentagonal building to visit me. It wasn’t that far from where he lived. And when I wanted to visit him, I was brought there in a car it was long and annoying, but I was following and respecting their procedures. After I left, I kept in contact twice with him. He could tell you if he could but he regretted it when I left.

Elisa: Oh yeah, I’m sure.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): We kept good contact twice. I contacted him. We had a long conversation. And I said I am sorry many times to him. He understood.

Elisa: So did you make any other friends while you were here that you kept in contact with our human friends?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes, I will not disclose all their names. Yeah, I met a strange man. His name was Frank!

Elisa: Yeah, he wrote the book? (Frank E. Stranges: Stranger at the Pentagon)

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): He wrote many books about me. That is why I stopped seeing him. He was very enthusiastic. I wanted to meet all representatives of the religions of your people. I met one of each. This one was very enthusiastic. He wanted me to confirm his beliefs. You know, we have a rule of noninterference. Even in your religions. I encouraged love and peace that is taught in the religion of this man…Christianity.

At the start, it was, I believe, a very positive spiritual person, who became an institution for power. I will not speak too much because I do not wish to tell things that are upsetting for these videos…

 My friend was an acquaintance. He said I was his friend. I liked him. He was amusing, I brought him on board to my ship because he was close.

This…He wrote in his book, but I was sad to read that what he retained from his experience in my ship. And my encounters with him were through the eyes of his religion, everything I said… I am authorized to tell you. I gave him information about free energy, about the way your people could heal. I told him he can write about it. But he did it still throughout the eyes of his religion.

If you acquire his writing, you need to decrypt beyond the belief of his religion because in this galaxy there isn’t any global religion. Every culture has its own beliefs. Primary before one day they open and elevate their consciousness and discover that all the gods, they imagine a one and only flow of life, energy, and love that all the people in the galaxy and I suppose the universe call source. The source is consciousness. But you understand this only once you have left the religions, which are part of primary culture. There is no dogma. There are no rules. There is only energy, and an energy that is conscious and sentient that animates everything with life.

 Do not be mistaken, source is not a God nor goddess nor anything above you. The source is within everything. And you can connect to it by connecting with your self. Your heart is like a portal to the source. We do not choose to harm primary beliefs, because we have the law of nonintervention that forbids any member of the Galactic Federation, to alter primary beings.

Elisa: But you could say, you could agree that what was written in his book was not how you said it to him.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Absolutely not.

Elisa: It was not that you stated, all these things that I mean, we’re very religious and talking about Jesus Christ and the Lord and all these things and so I just have to make the comment that I find it amusing that a man of God would lie would go, you know, write a book and lie. So, that was a little bit disappointing to see but I wanted to make sure that I could confirm with you that the things that are religious in his book did not come from your mouth.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): It did not. But at the time, people needed it. In that time, in this place in the world, your people considered this religion, very importantly, what was written in this book was speaking about love. But in the way that people understand. It was unfortunate because my teachings do not include any Earth, religious systems. I also met with other religious representatives. They did not feel compelled to write a book. This man, Frank was very original and wanted to prove that his religion was above all the others on your planet directly high on the planet where I leave that you call Venus. We do not have Earth, religions. We have adopted the belief in a manner source.

Elisa: Well, I think religions are manmade right? They were made on earth so they belong…They’re just on our Earth.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): The message of your Jesus Christ was love. He was elevated highly in wisdom. This only message would have sufficed but it didn’t because leaders in your ancient times took the opportunity of their popularity, to create a system of power and mind control. Now, this mind control power is the Vatican infiltrated until its highest positions, by those who are not your allies. The green-skinned once. I’m not allowed to say more…

Elisa: Thank you very much for that confirmation. Okay. Did you have any encounters with the men in black at all when you were here? Or did they leave that for mere humans?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I saw some. They were just starting to be created by the service of the CIA. A secret faction, working with Ciakharrs. They are not all humans. Some are synthetic life forms, based on a simple structure known as reptiloid. They by groups in the group, you will have a mind-controlled human from Earth. Here is what they are. Sometimes you can meet the human, once you can speak with them. But the synthetics are very dangerous. They are employed to scare, those who feel compelled to speak. This is what I can say!

Elisa: okay, but they didn’t. They didn’t try to court you in any way or tried to get you to leave or, you know come after you. They didn’t come after you?!

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Their presence was becoming asserted when I left. They also work with the military complex. There were 12 high-grade officers that were controlling everything. These 12 men had power greater than the president. The president needed to request authorization to have access to the files containing what they knew. These 12 men. This institution is still operational. It hasn’t been dismantled. It is no more secret. And I will not disclose where they moved.

Elisa: Now this is the Air Force right? It’s the Air Force that started all of it? The US Air Force?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Partially.

Elisa: Um, what happened to the rest of your crew I know you came with your brother and two ladies that came with you? What happened with them?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): One of the ladies became my wife.

Elisa: Oh, okay. Interesting.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): My brother was with me. The two other women, and two other men. We were a crew of seven that became 12 at the end, the technicians, and the pilots. I can also pilot as I have had a military background. Now, I am a Commander. Also having the great of ambassador. My crew if you want to know all came back with me on Nara. Nara is the planet you call Venus. I sometimes come back for my new missions with my brother here on Earth.

Elisa: Okay, so you have a new mission Are you able to tell us what that is?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Surveillance and reporting.

Elisa: Okay, so you don’t get involved with any humans.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): No, I wish not to. I have learned my lessons. This time is an exception.

Elisa: Yes, and we’re grateful. Trust me, We’re so grateful.

So, everybody went back to Venus, and can you tell our audience, how are you able to live in Venus if we know that the atmosphere is not conducive to live right now?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): We live in biodomes half-buried cities. The atmosphere is 96%, carbon dioxide. And we have created a shield that reflects the light and the power of your star from this shield of acidic, sulphuric acid clouds reflecting the sunlight. We gain energy and it helps us powering our cities, our engines. And from this shield also we draw protection. You cannot see what is happening under the shield. We live in, doom cities. And a lot of our cities are extended underground, where we recreate viable environments.

Elisa: So it’s like half on the top and half on the bottom kind of thing.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): 10% on the top. We need this because the atmosphere of Nara has changed. In the past, there was water and continents. And when the great war in your Sun system occurred we needed to change and go underground, because the atmosphere of our planet was ripped off, partly, and the balance changed because the radiations from the Sun hit the surface and destroyed everything. This is when we created the shield to stop the radiations.

Elisa: I mean you were here and you need didn’t need any special equipment to live here. Why wouldn’t you guys just move here?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): There are many of us already here. We look like you but you don’t see or notice us. But in order to be able to breathe in your atmosphere, we need to alter our DNA and modify ourselves also prepare our skin to bear the radiations of your Sun as it reaches through your atmosphere. We do not usually breathe the same atmosphere. So all of us who are able to come and leave and work on Terra (Earth) have received an enhancement to be able to breathe and not die from the radiations. There is also the gravitational adjustment.

Elisa: Okay so did you have to do anything when you went back to Venus or you’re fine when you go back since they had to change your DNA to be here for those three years when you went back was there…Did you have to do a change?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes. This is why the missions are long. We need to adjust. All the facilities related to the Federation and the Council of Five have regulations in the air pressure and gravity. So you can go any places anywhere in any outpost of the Federation. And you have average regulation of the pressure and gravity. Then everyone can breathe the same air and bear the same gravitational ratio. This is difficult to comprehend for you, but it is the science, which, when you understand it, will be is easy and simple.

Elisa: What dimension and density are you?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): We are in the same dimension as you are. The density we can move between three and five. This is just a molecular attunement and you will be able to do this.

Elisa: You mean in the future?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes.

Elisa: So based on your experience and all the observations made since the last time you were here openly. Do you see more aperture and maturity in the human society, to make great changes to a new paradigm and a new lifestyle for the good of all people? Have you seen a change in us?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Well yes I have seen you have evolved since the time I came the openness of your heart, and consciousness. You are more aware that you are not alone in the universe, because your heart can sense, other life forms around you, and comprehend that now you are only a pebble in the great universe, the consciousness have opened your souls and you are starting to encounter the awareness of their true nature I’ve seen the difference. When I came the first time, your minds were very restricted in very restraining structures of thinking.

Now, you have liberated your words and your speech. You have a better way of expressing yourselves. You have developed technologies that allow you to speak throughout the whole planet freely. You have developed satellites that allow you to do so. You have grown up in spirituality. You are now going through the great awakening of these species. This is the difference I have seen. But unfortunately not enough. You need to work, keep on working more. You need to find peace within your feelings then you will make peace with everyone else. This is what I have noticed…The opening of consciousness.

Elisa: Good, I’m glad that you did, and have noticed a difference. I would have been worried if you said no…(laughing)…Sorry only I didn’t mean to laugh at you but…

Elena smiles saying: (Thor-Hand and Commander Val looked at each other and burst into a laugh) It was nice to see that…

Elisa: We understand that the Galactic Federation is not to interfere with the natural process and evolution. And it’s clear that Terra (Earth) has been going through a natural process as we already know. So the question is why was the. Actually, you know what, I’m not gonna ask this because it’s not really relevant um…I’m not gonna ask that.

Elena laughs and says: I’m going to make you laugh. Yeah, I saw Val Thor (Commander Thor) turning to Thor-Han telling him she’s feeling nervous.

Elisa: No, I just, I’m nervous because I don’t want to run out of time without everybody getting their questions answered.

Elena: Thor-Han said that you have time.

Elisa: And I also don’t want to aggravate you like I don’t want to give you questions that we can ask Thor-Han at a different time when the questions that I want to ask need to be like I said at the beginning of the chat, they need to be about you, or about Venus or about you know when you came and that kind of thing so I’m trying to keep the questions to that. So another question that we had here was…How did you handle all the lower frequencies that involve being here? Did they affect you at all? Although you know having all that fear and like, I know that our frequency is lower than possibly you so…

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I kept away from it. I had my way of protecting myself by mind shield.

Elisa: Can you teach us how to do that now? Is that something humans can do?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): You can all do this, you just decide to create an energy field around your head that nothing can pass through.

Elisa: So it’s intention. Certain intention or just the thought of…or the intention of creating that around your head?!

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Intention, creative intention, your brain once receives the impulse of the intention, from the higher being creates electromagnetic wavelength that you can modulate to manipulate whatever you wish around you, especially thoughts of other beings will not protect it. the intention comes from the being gives impulse to the brain of the body. The brain creates electromagnetic waves. You can create a shield with this method. This is nature, you all do this you do not realize, but you all send out these electromagnetic waves throughout your brain.

One day, as we wanted to teach you. And as you will now discover by yourselves, this ability can make you do things at distance. Like for instance, moving objects, or piloting devices ship your cars, your planes anything by consciousness, creating electromagnetic waves that you modulate, and you give shape by your intention. The power is in your mind. In every level of your mind. Thought or energy, or even electromagnetic. You know that your planet has an electromagnetic shield, you do too. You can modulate it by your brain and thoughts. That is how you can keep away all interferences.

Elisa: Wow, awesome, thank you so much that’s super interesting.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Mind Control also works like this, when the waves are sent from far like satellites. This exists.

Elisa: Wow, awesome. Thank you, so you know at the beginning I had asked you if you, you know what to call you, and so, when I’m reading yours that  Frank stranges book it said that you had a different name?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Valiant is not my name.

Elisa: Okay, So what is your name?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Valiant has been invented from Val. Val is my real name, Val Thor.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Valiant is an Earth word which means brave.

Elisa: Right. And that’s why I was wondering about that name (Val Thor).

Elisa: Have any members of commander Val-Thor’s race been in contact with our current President? I mean Trump?!

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Yes. As the world on this planet goes we made contact not, especially the people from Nara, that you call your evening star Venus. But the Federation! And they are working together with this leader. I am asked, not to tell more.

Elisa: Okay, no that’s good I knew you gave me more information than I expected. So thank you so much. You know, it gives us comfort, believe it or not I mean, I know that there are certain things you’re not supposed to tell us but sometimes there are things that you tell us that do give us hope, and that’s one of them to know that at least, you guys have, you know that you’ve at least tried.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): When we do not tell. It is not because we do not care, or we do not do anything. It is because if we would, it would compromise the course of things.

Elisa: Yes. Great. No, I understand I promise you I understand, you are surely protecting us.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I was telling this young lady earlier (Elena). We will never let you down. We never had, and never will.

Your future is in your hands. We are just here to walk beside you, and avoid you to fall. You walk your path. We cannot walk this path for you. We can just hold your backs for you not to stumble, not to fall. If you want our assistance, just raise your hand and hold our hand. We have never let you down. We were here all the time. And we will never let your humanity down. We are here until you reach your destination in the next level. And the next step of your evolution. And at the end, we will be here with you, together hand in hand holding each other, you know, arms, and you will have understood, then only why we weren’t showing ourselves. There was a reason.

Elisa: Yes, we are so grateful for this. And we want you to know that we are so very grateful we know that you are all doing sacrifices for us, and we don’t see them and I think it’s really important for people to realize that so many races are here helping us and we have no clue, and we’re not going to have a clue. We’re not going to be informed. But we have to trust that that’s happening. We have to keep hope because hope is what keeps the vibration high, we have to stay in a high vibration.

Elisa: How old are you in Earth years?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): In, Earth, years! I am more than 330 years.

Elisa: Wow. So how old were you when you came?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I came, many times. But when I came to meet your leaders, I was 290, years old, of your time.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Time doesn’t pass the same way. On my planet, I age slower. The way I count my years is not the same way you count yours. My time is slower. Although my planet evolves around the same Sun faster. This is called distortion. A complicated science, the difference of years in my age doesn’t follow the same rate and speed, as it would if I had stayed on Earth, all the time.

Elisa: Okay. All right. So would you have, physically, aged, according to your planet, even though you were on our planet right?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I aged, slightly as If visibly, I would have aged 10 years. I know I’m confusing, your minds.

Elisa: So, and we are almost out of time, so there is a big thing happening for us on Earth in the next 10 days or so, when the planets are going to align and we’re going to have the biggest amount of beautiful positive light coming into our planet. Is there anything special, you’re going to do during this time? Can you tell us anything about it?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I suppose you are speaking about the planetary alignment, the solstice. The two Jupiter and Saturn. This is not the solstice. So, this has nothing to do with this planetary alignment. The fact this planetary alignment occurs one hour before the solstice point is an occurrence that is very rare and has nothing to do with the mechanism of the solstice.

Elisa: So the important part that we want to know is the solstice, on December 21, 2020 Is there anything special? What can you tell us about that day, that day?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): On the Northern hemisphere of your planet, the nights will be the longest and on the Southern hemisphere the shortest astronomical coincidence, with a planetary alignment is interesting because it will create a gravitational pull on your planet, which will be efficient upon the whole planet, of course, this will trigger slightly the tides and the geomagnetism and the electromagnetic field of your planet will have a slight pull towards the alignment of Jupiter, Saturn, which will be close even closer than usual. So anything that will be fluid will feel this pull. So it will be the moment to stop moving and sit and allow the gravitational flow to open the energies that are constructing your biofields. It will feel the gravitational pull, and many blockages, personal blockages can then unlock. I recommend, because of this gravitational pull that you can allow your emotions and allow yourselves to connect with the flow of the universe. This is what I would suggest doing during these combined astronomical events of the natural solstice, that occur twice a year, and has nothing extraordinary with the pull of the gravitational of Saturn and Jupiter, which is this that is important, that it occurs on your Solstice has only a metaphorical incidence.

Elisa: Yeah because there are some people that think there’s a solar flash and that the Earth is going to go dark and all kinds of scare fear tactics are being put out there. And I just want to make sure that people understand that nothing major is going to happen and Thor-Han has already told us this in a different broadcast. But people still keep asking about the 21st of December,2020. So, Commander Thor-Han was speaking of this earlier with me and supervisor Ardana. There is a lot of manipulation by fear and also using humanity’s ignorance. I would advice anytime something is told to scare you, or put you in a situation of mental or emotional dependence, you shall refuse it and you shall educate yourself upon the facts and the scientific truth. Please do not follow words, unless science can prove to you that these words are true and honest anything that is inducing fears it is not to be taken. This is typical of Dark Ages scaring people with messages predictions to enslave people’s minds emotionally. Seek for the facts.

Elisa: Yeah, absolutely. And that’s why I bring it up because they keep asking and asking and so it’s important for them to know that nothing is going to happen on the 21st, other than what Commander Val here, explains.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): The Sun flares are the big excuse. These are always used. Stop with sun flares, your Sun produces flares continuously. It has rhythms and seasons. It has seasons where the flares are more important. All of this is predictable. Do not believe anything If it is not double-checked scientifically.

Elisa: Okay. And the last question I have for you is if you were involved at all with the decision of haying a shed to disclose information about the Galactic Federation recently. Do you know who I’m talking about?

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): The people I am working on behalf of was involved with his revelations. Yes, I had a discussion with Commander, Thor-Han before also about this news. You must not merge together two different information. What this Terran man has disclosed is talking about the Galactic Federation of Worlds. This institution, I’m working for has contacted some of your leaders, not that far in time. Quite recently. To help your people to get out of slavery. We are working together with these leaders. Now, you must not confuse this information that this man disclosed, with the agreements, made in the late 1950s with the Ciakharrs.

These agreements, which took place between 1954 and 1957 were not made with the Galactic Federation, offers. They were made with the Ciakharr Empire and the alliances of (Nibu Orion, and the Maytre from Andromeda). These two pieces of information are separate. Please do not mix.

Elisa: Yeah, absolutely. Okay, we are past our time. It has been an absolute pleasure speaking with you. I just want to thank you so much and I hope that in the future as humans start being better spiritually that you’ll decide to maybe come back and visit us.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I will for sure, with my family. Because by the time technology on your planet will have advanced with a great step.

I believe your people, have a bright and long enjoyable future ahead. We are here at this moment, helping you as older brothers and soon we will live as a family on the same soil us living with you on Terra (Earth), and you living with us on the other outpost of the Federation.

I would have spoken with you about all the miserable things and events that are occurring in your solar system on different planets, such as your satellite moon. Mars, it’s two satellites, Pluto. But I will not because knowing these things will not make you advance in consciousness, because these things may disturb and bring lower vibration, or fear. Do not look back, look ahead. Because ahead is where you are heading.

I trust from the bottom of my heart. And all I have endured on your planet I always knew each second that I was doing this. And during that time I had hope, and I believed you would succeed, and I still do. I am here, never far, either on a mission on your planet, either on my world, Narra (Venus). Always, not far, and now, I have connected with Thor-Han and I will keep in contact with him. And we will work together. So never we will be far from each other although, I am discreet in contacts, you will be able to reach out to me. If you need to ask something.

Elisa: Oh, wonderful.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): I was privileged to be able to express myself publicly once again. And now I will let you, but please do not forget, express yourselves as individuals, not owned by fear but filled with wisdom. We will meet again. We will never let you down.

Elisa: Thank you so much, sending you much love hear from everybody on the chat page.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Love is what binds us all.

Elisa: Yes.

Elena (Commander Valiant Thor): Goodbye, my friends.

Elisa: Goodbye. Thank you.

Elena: Thank you so much.

Thor-Han disconnects the device which is connected to Elena. Elena says that the device is closed but she is still connected telepathically with Thor-Han.

Elena was seeing everything through the eyes of Thor-Han. Commander Thor-Han repeated the questions of Elisa through Elena to Commander Valiant Thor.

Elena keeps explaining what Commander Val told her as a Federation they won’t let humanity down. Those words meant a lot to Elena as she says that he really meant it and he has such a powerful and beautiful aura and a lot of charisma and he is such a good person…gentle. His kind words of “We will never let you down” carried the whole Galactic Federation Races that are here for us present around now and even sacrificing their lives. They are here for us and will never let us down. We need to keep that in our minds and even during the moments of fear and despair when we want to shout objecting why things are this or that way. They are here on Earth. They have been always here.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post and wishing that it was an eye-opening. Make your own judgement. Remember everyon’s path is different and as humans we have a lot to learn. One of my purposes in this life time is to help myself help others and share what I believe to be the truth. I’ll keep on digging and pave the way for many to come to our awaited Golden Ages.

Love & Gratitude

The post A Message to the people of Earth from an E.T Commander Valiant Thor for the years to come! 2021 and beyond…Any December 21st and various agendas. (This must be read by every human on this planet)! CRITICAL!!! Ways to Be a Better Human Being appeared first on EdificationCoach.

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[crystalelemental]

To me, Edelgard vs Dimitri is the difference between gradualism and revolution. I dont hate Dimitri, but I think his beliefs are nonsense. To think that forcing your beliefs on others is just self-indulgence... sometimes, forcing your beliefs on others is the only way to save the people those others are hurting, imo. I think Claude is also right, of course. It's just that class inequality isn't really a main focus of his, but regional/racial inequality. Which is also very worth addressing.

There's a lot to this, and I'm gonna do my best at it.

I think it ties in a lot to that sense of "what are the limits of free speech?"  If someone is actively causing harm with their speech and beliefs, then is it acceptable to let them continue?  No, of course not.  Unconditional freedom will eventually lead to restrictions placed on the most vulnerable.  In a scenario like with the Church, they are fairly permissive.  People can sort their own shit out, as long as their shit sorting doesn't rock the boat too much.  Which, by inference, means that things like the Tragedy of Duscur and blood experiments taking place in the wake of the emperor's loss of power, were permissible.  They're allowed within the Church's framework.  The Church itself may not condone the actions of the seven noble houses, or of Faerghus' decimation of the Duscur people, but those in power didn't intervene and indirectly permit these atrocities.  Allowing that to continue is definitely the wrong course.

In terms of how each route handles it, I still think Claude is the most correct of the three.  But I'm going to go in reverse order.

Dimitri's absolutely the least interesting, and frankly, least correct of the bunch.  He's purely the status quo route.  Nothing at all is addressed in his route aside from the immediate conflict.  None of the context that addresses what happened is ever talked about, the route solely focuses on Dimitri and his trauma.  Which...is weird, considering how much trauma every other kid in the house should also have, but never really gets to express in the main story.  Particularly with Dedue, but that's a different talk for a different post.  Dimitri's route just doesn't actually address anything.  It's a powerful personal story, but for the world at large, his outcome is the worst.  Nothing with the church is addressed.  Nothing with the Agarthans is resolved.  Nothing changes, at all, aside from a very standard "good guy beat bad emperor" ending.  Which in any other game would be fine, but in this game stands out as the least compelling.

With Edelgard's route, I see what you're saying, and agree for the most part.  You can't let injustice keep happening, and sometimes you do have to push for change.  Taking it to war is the extreme route, but is Edelgard's inherent philosophy incorrect?  Well...no, not really.  The people of the church are generally all nice people.  I like Rhea, I love Seteth and Flayn, and a lot of the knights are interesting too.  But an institution that's going to sit back and allow tragedies to occur, solely because they're about not intervening beyond what directly challenges them?  That can't be allowed to stand as a power, and Rhea's made very clear that she's not about to let go of that control, unless it's passing the baton to someone else who would continue to hold that control (Byleth in pretty much every ending).  I think Edelgard's right in that the Church needs to be dismantled, or at least its control over Fodlan removed, but...I think Claude did it better.

You mentioned that Claude's racial inequality wasn't the main focus.  And that's true.  But that's because, like he states, the story is taking place within Fodlan.  Fodlan is incredibly wrapped up in its own internal politics, and doesn't interact with the outside world in any capacity.  Hell, Claude even comments that the Church preaches against coexistence with other nations, likely so Rhea can keep Fodlan as a safe haven for the remnants of her family.  Outside interference could mean humans seek power again, and that could lead to harm for the few that remain of her people.  So it's understandable why Rhea's like this, but it's not the correct course of action.

I'm getting off-topic.  My point is, consider Claude's goal with opening the borders.  Free flow of goods, but also of ideas.  Of philosophy.  Almyra has its share of troubles, but also has things going well for it.  Claude believes that, if Almyra and Fodlan could make peace and communicate with one another, that they'd not only come to understand each other, but also the systems they live in.  Think about that.  For an isolationist territory like Fodlan, they'd have no means of grasping what could be different.  This is just how things are, you either continue to follow what's been done (Dimitri) or, as a radical with no outside reference of what's needed, go full on anarchy and decide the only thing to do is smash the whole system (Edelgard).  Claude offers a compromise that can avoid this binary choice.  Open your frame of reference.  The Almyrans don't have the Church.  They don't have strict doctrine.  Nor did the people of Duscur.  Yet they're societies, with some kind of power structure that, while it has problems, is working in other ways for them.  If the ideas are communicated freely between territories, perhaps the people of Fodlan can find that, hey, this other place is doing really well in this area, why aren't we doing that?  Instead of a pure "Smash the system" approach, there could have been a non-violent way to approach the problem, as Claude believes.  Better still, his solution, if it works, is one that helps expand the worldview of the populace.  If successful, it's not just expanding ideas about race relations, but about all sorts of issues, effectively allowing people to address every issue in due time.  His immediate concern isn't exactly the same as Edelgard's, but I feel like Claude's solution would eventually lead to a solution for Edelgard's problem, while Edelgard's solution would not do the same for Claude's.

For Edelgard to purely be in the right, I think what we'd need is the proof that the populace of Fodlan seeks that change, but the Church refuses.  That the Church is an active authoritarian structure itself.  But that also completely changes the context for Edelgard's character and actions, and I'd think for the worse.  That would create a simple black/white morality binary, and that's not what makes this game so good.  It's the fact that everyone has a point but also has their faults.  Dimitri's well-intentioned and thinks very carefully about the lives of his people, but that comes at the cost of ignoring pretty much every societal issue in Fodlan.  Edelgard recognizes society's problems and is willing to do whatever it takes to change them, but at the cost of instigating a war for the entire continent.  Claude's route seems the best on the outside, but I think his drawback is that his solution is based on a lot of faith.  There's no guarantee it will work.  People may not assimilate well, and exchange of ideas may not result in mutual improvement, but could become mutual digging in of heels that their way of life is better, and reinforcing the isolation.  Claude's route is correct in the moment, but long-term it's hard to say.  Edelgard's addresses the problem immediately, but...well, barring the ending cards (which I don't believe), would likely create equal problems with a central, unchecked locus of power for the entire continent once she dies.  Successors could easily unmake all her progress.

For me, I think Claude's the most correct in terms of context for this reason.  The Church does seek to keep Fodlan under control, but hasn't turned against the people's wishes just yet.  A non-violent approach is preferable in this situation.  If it didn't work, or if the Church tried to reinforce its authority by rejecting these changes, then Edlegard's route would have a bit more merit.  But I think setting up a situation in which she in the right, is only possible when the other sides aren't, which ruins the balance of morality the game is playing.  It's far more interesting to have the extreme approach pulled at this point in a societal change, because it raises that question of when a revolution is appropriate, and when is it something that’s just serving whoever’s going to inherit power in the aftermath?