#he seems like if a character he likes is canonically bisexual he'd go

[shoechoe]

I agree with the general Tumblr headcanon consensus that Mista is bisexual, but I just... really feel like he's also the type of guy to say "no homo" unironically

[johanna-swann]

What do you mean they’re playing both sides? I have the same thoughts, but I’d like to hear your take on it if you don’t mind

Oh, careful what you wish for. I love these kinds of questions and usually use them as an excuse to go on particularly long rants.

What I'm referring to specifically here is some tweets I saw screenshots of in the 911 tag earlier and that made me think: "Oh the buddie baiting is strong in this one." There are different levels to this, different players or stakeholders if you will each with their own agenda.

First we have the interviewer. If he wanted to actually focus on Eddie as an individual character you'd think he'd at least mention Eddie's child by name. I mean, nobody has spoken the names "Marisol", "Kim" or "Shannon" all season - Christopher is the part of this story line they've decided to focus on so far and basically all of Eddie's important scenes in 8a featured a conversation with or about Chris. But instead of bringing that up the interviewer makes sure to specifically mention that he asked about "what's going on between [...] Eddie & Buck" and in a follow-up tweet even promises that not once in his interview were they described as "brothers". The clickbait could not be more obvious, he's pandering to a very specific sub-group of the fandom here. This is an interview for the Buddie shippers. People who care about Eddie's development outside of the shipping question? They can cope without details. It's a Ryan Guzman interview, what more do you need to know?

This has become very normal for 911 related interviews in a way, at least as far as Oliver Stark and Ryan Guzman are concerned. Them not being asked about the ship has become the exception, interviews with at least one Buddie question are the norm. Even other cast and crew members get asked about this on a regular basis, especially Tim Minear. And I sort of get it, I don't like or approve of these clickbait articles, but I get the logic behind it. These online tv articles are mostly read by fans who spend time online as fans and shippers make up a big part of that crowd. There have been many Buddie themed interviews and so far it hasn't meant anything or led anywhere.

This ambiguity also means that Ryan Guzman himself went into the interview with the intention of keeping Buddie shippers' hopes up (no judgement intended). Last year we got several interviews in which he mentioned how important it is to him to portray the "friendship" between a "straight" and a "bisexual" man, etc. In this newest interview he seems to be aiming for a different tone - or at least so the interviewer suggests in his tweets. Why would Ryan Guzman change or adjust his stance on this topic? Probably because Tim Minear or somebody else with similar amount of relevance told him to.

Actors do not just say whatever they like in these interviews. They are told by the higher-ups if there are important things they should bring up or, the other way around, if there are things they absolute cannot say. If "the powers that be" of 911 didn't want the Buddie shippers to think there's something going on then they would take a clearer stance (and they wouldn't film scenes like that leaked good-bye hug out in the open). Then again the interviewer highlights the "open" answers he got from RG, so I'm almost sure that there is nothing in that interview that would actually indicate imminent Buddie canon to anyone looking at it at least a little objectively. Keeping us guessing is keeping the buzz alive in the long run and that's what they need more than anything: For the show to be talked about.

In-universe there are also Buck's and Eddie's unfinished story lines to consider. Eddie is still a complete mess and Buck has not stopped baking or thinking about Tommy yet. Not that 911 has been writing particularly sensible plots recently, but throwing a new relationship into the mix on top of everything else doesn't make much sense to me.

Thinking further into the future, I don't even think that Buddie has zero chances and is under no circumstances ever going to happen. Personally I think that maybe no final decision has been made about it yet either way and everyone involved acts and speaks accordingly.

That's an interesting philosophical question though: Is it still baiting if the 911 gods themselves don't know what they're going to do yet?

I put a cut here because I got side tracked thinking about why I don't believe Buddie will go canon unless the show is about to end.

Eddie and Buck are the two characters on the show where the writers still have a lot of wiggle room in regards of where their journeys are going. Athena and Bobby are going to stay married and keep doing their jobs because otherwise what is the show going to do with them? Hen will stay married with kids, she'll keep her job with the 118 and maybe they'll bring back the work vs. family conflict (the show has been very uncreative in writing exciting stories for her), but what else are they going to do with her character? Chimney and Maddie are going to stay together, they're married now, they have a second kid on the way - what more is the show going to do with them?

There will be short story lines about struggles or disasters or maybe some fun B-plots, but that's it. The show is not going to kill off or break up any of these couples. Maybe Athena or Bobby or both of them will retire / take a desk job shortly before the show ends for good, but until then they won't make any major changes to their lives. Same goes for job opportunities for Hen and Chim. Hen might take over as Captain of the 118 eventually, Chim might take a job at the academy, but none of that is going to happen before the show ends for good because they can't very well split the 118 up before then. Maddie might become floor manager or something, but she needs to stay with the call centre because 911 needs a main character at the call centre to keep functioning.

Either way, a happy end for all 5 of will include them staying with the partner they've been with since forever, still doing the job they love and have had since forever (maybe pepper in a well earned promotion or retirement towards the end) and still being part of the firefam that has existed since forever. We know where their stories end because they're already there.

Buck and Eddie? There is room here, but only if they keep the Buddie question unanswered for now. The very second those two get together we'll know they're endgame - just like we new Madney would be endgame the second they met and just like we knew Bathena would stick together from the start. The moment they answer the Buddie question with "yes", they close every and each opportunity on any surprise twists with serious long term effects. With every other love interest there would be a "will they or won't they last" phase, but Buddie? If they actually went canon then the answer would be "they will". We could still watch Buddie pass the relationship milestones, but there wouldn't be anymore big surprises. 911 would have all their main characters backed into corners with no more room for actual twists to their stories and what kind of show would that be?

Right now we know nothing. Buck might end up dating a woman again. He could end up with a guy. Or a non-binary third option. He might end up moving out of the loft for a different reason. He could decide to adopt a kid without having a partner. Eddie might decide to stay single and concentrate on other things. He might go to therapy again, finally bury Shannon's ghost. The point is we don't know yet, anything could happen and that's part of what keeps the show exciting.

Aside from "keeping their options fluid", the show might also tread carefully on account of the (current) political climate in the US. The show is often described, praised even as very diverse, but is it really?

All the important female characters on the show are married and have children. Actually all the couples are married and have (step) children. Many of the the female characters' story lines revolve around being caretakers: For Carla it's literally her job, Abby is taking care of her mother, Ana is a teacher and Eddie dates her in an attempt to replace his wife, Hen & Karen always get settled with a custody battle story line, Eva only ever comes back to stir up trouble because of Denny, Shannon to this day is mostly the mother of his child in Eddie's mind.

There's exactly one disabled character who is still a child and logically not a first responder. Mental illnesses like Eddie's ptsd and Maddie's ppd are very temporary struggles that can be dropped when a plot line is over and not chronic illnesses. [This makes a little sense for Maddie's ppd, but she also mentions in 5x12 that she has often struggled with depression and suicidal ideation since Daniel died. Yet we never see her have a depressive episode outside tof the season 5 arc.] Buck's chronic pain issues post-ladder truck explosion are purely fanon and Bobby's chronic back pain is only mentioned in a single flashback.

The only religious characters are (Catholic) Christians.

Recently the show has focused a lot on the characters in their nuclear families instead of strengthening the friendships, I'm far from the first or only person to have noticed that.

They gave Captain Arsehole Gerrard a make-over in between seasons which turned him from a slur-spouting bigot into a grumpy grandpa who got his own happy ending working on a tv show with an actor he admires while Ortiz, a woman of colour in a political leadership position, was revealed to be the devil incarnate who got all the blame and all the punishment. Not sure I would've done it that way.

Then there is of course the never-ending copaganda.

Specifically on the topic of queer 911 characters: Until very recently the show had only one type of queer character: "Cut and dried cases" of homosexual characters who appeared rather gender-conforming, led amatonormative life styles (married with kids) and as black characters were already part of 911's "woke agenda" anyway, if I may put it that drastically. Oh, and Josh was there, but as Maddie's personal gay bbf / sidekick with barely any story lines for himself he isn't exactly ground breaking representation in my humble opinion. Of course it's still great to have these characters, especially a couple of black lesbians, but up until season 7 911 represented only gender- and amatonormal gays and lesbians. No trans characters, no aro or ace characters, no m-spec characters, no polyam characters, no ambiguously/unlabeled queer characters. I wanted to point that out.

Now we also have Buck which I count as a big win. They took thee cis-het white man of the show and made him queer 7 seasons into the show. There was some backlash about this last year though and I really am doubtful that 911 would turn both their young single macho men queer while they're already wrestling with slowly declining viewing figures and getting their frankly ridiculous budget approved which they need to keep this show running. That all on top of the recent and ongoing political events. DEI who?

Again, I'm not saying there is no way, but even if they do want to get there (Buddie canon) eventually - if the show wants to keep running for a couple more seasons they will probably wait before making any irreversible decisions on Eddie's sexuality. Until then they will allow more Buddie centric interviews and give vague non-answers, appeasing both people who don't want the ship to go canon and those who want nothing more.

[neutrallyobsessed]

Do you have any headcannons of abe from clone high? Most of mine are angsty because of my trauma projecting onto him but I headcannon he's autistic, transfem and closeted bisexual

You seem to be opposite me with yo' angsty hcs and certain disregard of canon. But that's aight, I support playing with the characters like dollies, whichever way it may be~~

For me, working with what I'm familiar with and the sake of simplicity, I have Abe in the default cis-het settings and thinking of mental health things is the opposite of simple so I omit it as well

But also, at the top of my head....... well, he's not exactly in my mind all the time so i don't have anything thought out really. Abe is a pretty well-rounded... uhh well-squared character so its not easy to find empty spaces to fill with one's own interpretation so I'll try my best^^:

His Lincoln Collection started with (excluding currency) commemorative pins and weird string marionettes.

And after 20 years there's a lot more to catch up!!

Abe is the only one to still have like, pictures of Gandhi, things to remember him by.

Which is why he's the only one who remembers Gandhi by name and all.

And yes, he's most likely to be first in finding him (i just don't know how yet xd)

He has the habit of putting people in either pedestals or specific roles (Gandhi is the funny friend, Joan is the serious girl friend, Cleo is the serious girlfriend) and can get quite upset when they don't do what he expects them to do

But he never verbalizes this beyond a "You're not acting like yourself!"

He got that Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney vibes ngl. Overly attachted and willing to die for those he loves. Quite literally for his detriment. And the kinda bitchy inner monologue ;vv

But not the Attorney part. Topher showed him that he could not be able to defend someone who is either guilty or lying about not being guilty.

He likes lighthouses but he could never become an operator, too lonely of a job for him who seems to enjoy social interactions (even if he's bad at it xd)

So idk what he'd do for a living but I imagine Gandhi could be there

My mind is going to trains actually x3

I like the cat-lover idea. I'll include it in my system of beliefs.

He likes pussy lol, that's pretty straight guy behavoir ngl xdd

Music between the 50s and 70s enjoyer. Sounds that are perky and fun and great to dance to!

He also collects coins~! It did start with Lincoln faces and now has over 100 coins not just from the US but many other countries too!

Not all that good with geography tho, prolly not able to point in a map where each coin belongs to lol

Been thinking of the Joanpher future (hi anon who asked bout it, tis gonna be a long one too) and how Abe is gonna be relevant again there so here some tidbits to fill that space xd

There are 2 timelines: One with a MaryAbe end and one with a FridAbe end

I don't have much planned out but Fridabe happens when they're 20 but she dies around her 50s

And I haven't figured out when Abe becomes a ghost with Mary but it does happend and they have an open relationship of sorts cause they need souls to survive and it apperantly works in succubus/inccubus ways

He likes freaky, slutty girls, that's kinda canon tbh lmaooo

I hope this improvised rambling satisfies you ♥

[sapphic-agent]

Hopefully, this ask won’t get you in trouble. If you feel it does, then feel free to disregard this. Or if you don’t feel comfortable or confident talking about it, cause it does involve talking about ships.

But it somewhat feels like Horikoshi for the later chapters seems to be catering for same sex pairings, like Midoriya always being around Bakugou, or Ochako’s most significant moments now being around Toga. At least to me.

And the fact he seems to be focusing on same sex pairings certainly isn’t the problem.

The problem is the fact is the pairings he’s focusing on are f****** shit!

BakuDeku is an angry asshole bossing around and being a d*****bag to a boy that has been conditioned to think so highly of his abuser. This is a hop, skip and a jump away from Stockholm Syndrome.

Togachako, imo, is slightly worse than BakuDeku (but not by much) simply because it’s a very one sided relationship where one partner always has to cater to the problems of the other with no sign of returned love or reciprocated love. I wouldn’t trust Toga to know when she’s had enough of my blood. Why should I believe she would know where to stop drinking Ochako’s blood? And despite the images throughout their fight, like Toga GROPING Ochako, Horikoshi, for some disturbing reason, tries SO hard to paint this as a CUTE couple. (Hell, the dude could be showing Toga literally EATING Ochako and somehow paint it as an endearing thing…)

Why is Horikoshi banking on these toxic forms of love for the LGBTQ when he’s had more HEALTHIER couples?!?

TodoDeku? Tsuchako? IidaDeku? Minachako?

Hell, there are other pairings that were literally already there!

MomoJirou!

Mirio and Amajiki!

It’s just…it’s baffling why BakuDeku and Togachako are paraded as these fantastic M/M and W/W ships when they are anything BUT.

I have a sapphic couple in their wedding dresses as my pfp and my user is sapphic-agent... I'd honestly be impressed if someone could accuse me of homophobia😆Feel free to submit any LGBTQIA asks :)

In the case of TogaChako, I just think Toga herself is queer-bait. Among BakuDeku and other queer ships becoming popular, good old Hori probably thought to himself, "What's the best way to capitalize on this?" without actually putting any thought or care into it (like with Bakugou's redemption once he started to become popular). So he made Toga canonically bisexual (I'm like 90% sure she wasn't originally intended to be bi as she was way more infatuated with Izuku than Uraraka initially). And she's bad rep to boot. Horikoshi is making his only canonically queer character a predator... that's not a good look.

I even like Toga. Or, I liked how much potential she had at the beginning of the series. She was original and I liked her quirk. He could have given her a lot of depth, but nah let's just make her creepy and a predator mfers will eat it right up... And he was right unfortunately.

What makes it worse is that Uraraka has to be at the center of Toga's advances (again, WHY THE GROPING PANEL). Idk if it's because she's the main girl or what, but she deserved better than this.

(Tbh, I know she's Izuku's LI, but her and Tsu are way cuter and a lot healthier than her and Toga)

BakuDeku I feel like is part of that queer-baiting. Look, the fact is that it will never be canon. We know it, the shippers know it (even if they feign delusion), and Horikoshi knows it. But that doesn't mean Hori isn't milking it for all its worth. Do you see how the shippers go nuts when Izuku and Bakugou are in the same panel together? The entire MHA feed will be filled with it here on Tumblr for weeks. They eat that shit up and Horikoshi knows that. That's part of the reason why he forced reconciliation between them, so that he'd have more content for them to froth at the mouth over.

[hopeymchope]

(Yeah I probably misread something)

There is something I am curious about that I wanted to share with you

If I remember correctly (please correct me if I am wrong here) in the answer yukari becomes more antagonistic towards Aigis because she’s heartbroken over makoto’s death because she lost the guy she loves

One thing I want to bring up is in the kotone route some of the ship tease scenes with yukari are replaced with akihiko and as we all know all yukari’s scenes with kotone are mostly platonic along with her feelings so I doubt if there was a kotone version of the answer yukari would take it as bad as she did(not saying she wouldn’t but not as hard is all I’m saying)

So if we had a kotone version of the answer who would take yukari’s place

(Personally I’m leaning towards akihiko)

Yukari is antagonistic in "The Answer" because she wants to bring Makoto back to life regardless of what it would mean. From what I can recall (and this might be a little off the mark), they'd have to redo the battle against Nyx to try and destroy it completely OR they'd have to remove Makoto from his service the Great Seal to protect all life from Nyx — thereby endangering the world. But Yukari's so desperate to see him again that she (along with Mitsuru - who sides with Yukari for reasons left unstated) winds up fighting new protag Aigis (and whoever is with her party by then).

It's not explicitly stated to be romantic, but her desperate desire to see him even if it undoes the entire point of his sacrifice (...that he didn't fuckin' know he was making, I should note) definitely comes off that way IMO — regardless of whether you choose to believe Makoto returned those affections. After all, Junpei even compares it to how he'd feel if he could go back and save Chidori (which is sure an interesting bit of dialogue given that her survival seems to be canon in P4A). I guess you could argue that it's at least up to interpretation whether Yukari's feelings were a romantic love or something just intensely platonic.

The easiest and most logical answer here is to just say "Yukari gets that role in any version of The Answer." So whether that makes her bisexually in love with Kotone or just very emotionally attached to Kotone as part of her found family, she should probably remain the person who fights against keeping them gone, because that's just her character and because it reduces the amount of work a dev team would undertake.

But let's say we want to do something more radical and ensure that the person who fights back is a potential love interest with a legit romantic hangup on the protagonist. When you look at Kotone's potential love interests — Ahihiko, Theodore, Ryoji, Aigis, and even fucking Ken — who among them seems most likely to be so messed up over a (theoretical) Kotone death that they'd be willing to undo the purpose of her sacrifice for the chance to see her once more?

There are really only two options, because (A) Aigis is the lead protagonist of 'The Answer' and pre-determined to take the side of maintaining his sacrifice. (B) The velvet room attendants are established to be on the side of maintaining the sacrificer... although we do learn in Persona 4 Arena that Elizabeth leaves the Velvet Room to go on a quest to destroy Nyx and thereby release Makoto from being stuck as the seal, returning him to life. Maybe Theo could do the same in the Kotoneverse? (C) Ryuji is off the table for obvious reasons related to his identity.

That leaves just Akihiko and Ken. Akihiko would be a really dramatic interesting route to go, and I think I'd honestly prefer it? Because to see someone with his level of determination get so undone would be REALLY intense. But... I also admit that Kotone's worst romance option is the one that makes the most sense.

Because like I said, jst because The Answer strongly supports the idea that Yukari loves Makoto doesn't mean it ALSO supports the idea that they were canonically together. I will never support the idea that Kotone had any canonical feelings towards Ken, but regardless of that, I still feel like Ken is the obvious pick to take up Yukari's role as the one who has trouble accepting that Kotone's truly gone. It's easy to imagine him as the character who is nursing an unrequited love that's THAT hardcore, leaving him to take up his weapon against the squad.

[beifong-brainrot]

I watched Korra again for the Weilin but I still Don’t Get It even though I want to!!! Can you give me the rundown/pitch/Weilin 101??

Oh boy I am so sorry I made such a fuss to over weilin you felt like you needed to rewatch the show for it.

So basically, Wei and Bolin don't have many interactions in canon. In fact I would say that there are only two scenes that properly count as one on one interactions. Its also important to note that the only Beifong twin Bolin ever interacts with as a singular person rarher than a pair is Wei. He never interacts with Wing unless he is addressing both twins.

The first interaction between Bolin and Wei is during B3 when Bolin is trying and failing miserably to learn metalbending. Wei seems annoyed to be stuck with someone who doesn't know metalbending and decides to sandwich Bo between two metal plates. As you do.

He then claims that 'trial by fire' is the best way to learn metalbending. Since Wei is such a minor character, we don't know enough about him to be able to fully pinpoint where this action came from. Does Wei genuinely think that bodily harm is the best way to learn a martial art? Was he trying to distract Bolin from his constant failure to bend metal? Was this the equivalent of a puppy biting someone as an attempt to initiate playtime? Is he just a douche?

We will probably never know. Thanks nickelodeon.

Bolin does eventually return the gesture in kind, getting his own petty revenge. And hitting Wei in the head with a pebble.

I like this scene, because it showcases Bolin's pettier side. One that rarely, if ever comes out with his canon romantic interests. Bolin is a character that has a habit of reigning in his less palatable traits, in order to appeal more to the people around him. His petty and more sarcastic nature is reserved mainly for Mako, probably the person he feels most comfortable with.

I think it's a very fun thing to see this side of him flare up with this random guy and it gave me thought about how their relationship could incorporate this. Wei enjoying pressing Bolin's buttons, causing Bolin to showcase more of his more authentic self.

They so seem to both have a passion for sports and earthbending which is cute. They're both competitive which adds some nice flavour and potential spicy sparring scenes.

The next scene is the famed catch n' pat.

Youre gonna tell me this wasn't at least a bit fruity?

The prolonged eye contact? The damsel in distress imagery? Bolin's lil smirk that is soon replaced with bisexual confusiom?

Imo they have a lot of chemisrty in both these scenes and make me want more of their relationship.

I also think it would be very interesting to see Bolin develop feelings for a guy. We see that he puts his female love interests on a certain pedestal. Id assume this is due to a rather naive and innocent view of love, most likely due to the fact that he didn't get to emotionally mature enough to acknowledge that romance isn't like what the fairytales say it is.

It would be interesting to see Bolin not get to 'court' said male romantic interest like he usually does. Bolin wouldn't be as 'showmany' with a guy friend than with a girl he'd like to seduce. This causes an interesting dynamic to the relationship if Bolin were to want to seduce said guy, who has seen him with his guard down.

Also seeing comphet boy Bolin going through a crisis of sexuality because his (ex?) girlfriend's brother patted his face is very appealing to me

I think what entices me in weilin is being able to have a dynamic no other ship could fully offer Bolin. And the potential of character growth it could afford Bolin, a character whose complexity is often overlooked, much to my upset. Personally, I dislike all of Bolin's canon relationships, so when Weilin came chemistry guns a blazing I was very intrigued. And then I fell down the rabbit hole and now im here.

If you have any more questions on Weilin please feel free to ask! I'm over the moon to ramble about them to whoever will listen. Hope this was enough to start you off with.

Also, if you're interested, I have a concerningly long essay on the subject because I am very sane and normal about them:

Rest assured my feelings have since evolved and i now have more reasons to ship them.

I guess there's so much fun to have with this ship and the dynamics and stories they could have.

[brw]

What drew you to Beast as a character? As someone who's been into various X-Men through the years, he's been on the periphery for me until very recently, so I'm interested in hearing from someone who's been a fan for (what seems to be) a while.

Oooh so to be completely honest I didn't get into Hank proper until I became focused on Wonder Man. I always sort of appreciated Hank, but I think I found it easy to take him and his place in the X-Men for granted. He's almost always there, because he's such a staple character of the team, so it was easy for me to be like oh, there's Beast! My friend Hank! But not actually think much about him. I remember sort of accidentally reading some solo comics he was in (there was this X-Men Unlimited issue I read where he and Kitty go to the opera I remember very clearly), and I enjoyed those but I never purposefully sought him. He seemed fun but at that point I was already quite attached to Hank Pym and Reed Richards and I figured he'd be like Bruce Banner to me, where I liked them but never enough to seek out their comics.

This changed when I became really interested in Wonder Man, both because those two are best friends and you can't read Wonder Man without greeting Beast, but also because Simon really does love Hank as a person and you kind of start to appreciate what Simon seeks in Hank as his friend. I knew in abstract that Hank McCoy was a kind person who wanted to be there for his friends, whose character bit was that he looks like a scary cat-ape but actually speaks like an English professor, who despite appearances is a romantic, a comedian, a scientist and a very loving person, but it was different seeing those traits play such a fundamental part in Simon's character trajectory. Simon really needed a friend like Hank when he was reintroduced into the comic canon, and interestingly Hank really needed a friend like Simon for where he was at in the Avengers. It was just really interesting seeing these two get closer and closer, from stout friends to low-key (high-key) a gay love story compounded by the fact they were an actual item in an au. And when you read Hank McCoy as a very repressed bisexual man, who is scared of ever acknowledging this part of him because of his own unexamined fear of himself because of his animal nature and features, who is in love with his equally repressed gay friend... well, that's just an interesting character!

I don't necessarily think I wouldn't have gotten into Hank without Simon, because he more than stands up as a character in his own right, but I think Simon really got me to see Hank in a new light because of how important he is as a person in Simon's life. He is without a doubt one half of the most healthiest, happiest, most stable relationship in Simon's entire character history. Which isn't to say they're necessarily a healthy and stable dynamic in of themselves (Hank has a very rose tinted glasses perspective on Simon, unable to acknowledge the edgier sides of him, and Simon in turn for better or for worst always sees the best in Hank even when sometimes he shouldn't), but both Simon and Hank have such messed up relationships with so many of the people around them that when they're around each other it's somehow the best relationship of their lives.

Anyway, there are a lot of things I like Hank for. He's misunderstood, both out of universe and in universe. He's someone hopelessly dedicated to his loved ones, often at the expense of his own happiness and wellbeing. He's brutally aware of the fact that he's wasting his life for the X-Men, for their lives and what keeps them alive and happy, and both resents them for taking up so much of his time but resents himself too, for thinking that way about the people that gave him so much. He sings Frank Sinatra in the bathroom and enjoys French cinema. He doesn't know left from right. The one thing in the world he's most scared of is becoming the animal the world sees him as, becoming the animal he thinks he might be underneath all his diplomas and achievements. He flew all the way from Scotland when he heard his best friend was alive on a one way ticket and bought red roses to match his eyes for the occasion. He loves his parents and he has an undiagnosed mood disorder. He's a strange blue man and I love him!

[forthelorewick]

Blessed with Beauty and Rage

ch. 5 - “Rage, Rage against the dying of the light”

“Do Not Go Gently into That Good Night” by Dylan Thomas

Series Summary:

The very core of who you are is hypocritical. Every day is a reminder of what you've lost, of who you've allowed yourself to become. Your walls are built around your heart like the fortress of Jackson, until… a certain man tries to pry his way through. How long can you withstand such intrusion? Will your heart ever open, will your soul ever heal, the way you have helped so many others do? Will you ever learn that you're worth saving too?

joel miller x f!reader

Story Warnings: 18+!!! MDI! (not yet, but we’ll get there)

outbreak/jackson au, outbreak happened in 2003, canon-typical graphic blood/ violence descriptions, anxiety, PSTD, grief, guilt, major character death(s)- (not Joel or reader), reader has nicknames (OC!reader), no use of y/n, explicit language, pining/longing/yearning, ANGST; so soft yet so tortured; emotionally unavailable reader, emotionally unavailable Joel; self-depreciating and self-sabotaging behavior, mentions of sh; shrink!reader Jackson!joel; video game Joel and Ellie; reader is in her early 40s - Joel is late 50s; implications that reader is bisexual; eventual smut, slow burn.

< prev chap | masterlist | next chap >

Chapter content: familial angst, trauma, mentions of grief, Ellie found herself a partner in mischief.

WC: 3.9k

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

| Joel

The rage floods through his veins as he storms back to his house. His mind racing as he paces the kitchen, thinking about the plain irresponsibility it takes to bring a child into this world.

He wishes he could just be happy for his brother and push away his own feelings, but he fucking can’t. Not after knowing what losing his own daughter had put both he and Tommy through. How could Tommy be so fucking selfish.

This ain’t the same world, you can’t just doom a child to this heartless, brutal reality. He had seen too many dead children, burned too many bodies, shot too many infected that resembled that innocence yet was never given a chance to just be. To live and be protected the way children ought to be.

And the fucking audacity Tommy had to bring up Sarah after knowing what he’d gone through to never hear that name again. To not be reminded in all the ways he’s failed more than he already reminds himself.

Twenty fucking years. Twenty fucking years have gone by and yet Tommy still hasn’t seemed to get the idea into his thick skull. Joel had been lost long ago, a shell of a man who once knew how to effectively guide his brother away from foolish decisions.

He takes that back in his head… Tommy had made too many foolish decisions that had led him to a night in the drunk tank or charged with misdemeanors than he could count. But he had successfully convinced him of the stupidity of procreating after what he had gone through with Sarah’s mom. Wear a fucking condom, dont be stupid.

Fucking idiot is what his brother is. He couldn’t say much for Maria, but from what he'd heard about her, she’d lost a son during the outbreak… so wouldn’t she know? Wouldn’t she know the dangers and risk and ignorance it takes to make that choice to doom a child to this world?

Then again, maybe it hadn’t been a decision. Maybe it had been an accident, an accident which was rarely safely dealt with in this new world.

He couldn’t deny certain human inclinations and physical needs for that physical release, even though he had needed that less often than before— his own fist worked just swell if he ever did need it.

He supposed Tommy fell in love and this is the natural progression of things, but you’d think he’d be smarter than to put his own wife through that again.

The intimacy of sex and physical touch had been cherished by Joel at one point, but it seemed like a waste of energy now. A distraction and the chance of getting attached to someone wasn’t worth it.

He knew that and had a fucking refresh on that lesson with Tess, even if he knew it wasn’t the type of relationship or intimacy she wanted, she was his friend, as close as he got to having those and the closest he’ll ever get again.

Sometimes he regrets not having been physical the ways she seemed to incline towards, the signs he had so intentionally ignored.

But he feels as though the loss would have tripled on his soul.

Now Ellie… Ellie.. Tess told him to “save who you can save”. She was the only thing he could do something about.

It was a responsibility shoved down his throat but he would do anything for that kid, kill anyone who dare touch a hair on her head, and he well… he had proven that in Salt Lake. She didn’t need to know the truth of what really happened. If she knew what he had done in order to save her, she would never forgive him. He can’t lose her, he just can’t.

Having people to lose in this world is worse than not having anyone. He is stubborn in that belief.

Unfortunately for him, he’s got people to lose. No more. He thinks to himself. No more people to lose, I can’t handle it. I can only do so much.

Maybe he’s the last sane person left, if he is… then this world is really fucking screwed more than he already knew it to be.

He takes a deep breath as he hears the front door open, he escapes upstairs before Ellie sees him pacing in the dark. He peeks beyond the curtain to see who ended up bringing her home, grateful she hadn’t been alone in his abrupt departure from dinner.

You. Something was off about you. The way you held yourself, the way you interacted with others. It seemed off, almost out of place. Seemingly happy to be included yet quick to deflect attention.

You didn’t want to be there anymore than he did. Excusing yourself outside in the bitter cold, walking alone everywhere except when you were with your daughter? Niece? Whoever the younger woman, who accompanied you and sat with you in the mess hall, was in relation to you. He knew she was your family of some kind. Seemingly nothing in common, yet clearly connected on a familial level.

You only talked about work or objectively if providing perspective, never about yourself. You lived with your “shrink” persona front and center. Like a buffer between you and everyone else.

That’s what he would assume, at least. Not that he really knew or cared. He’s only had a brief interaction or two with you. Each one has proven helpful or insightful in regards to the anxiety remedies you had suggested or with Ellie. Her schooling and curiosity seemed to be in good hands with you.

You seemed well-to-do, you had an array of useful skills to aid this little community. You liked to stay busy. Always so busy.

As you tilt your head up to examine the disturbance of the curtains on the second floor he quickly replaces them to their rightful place, disappearing from view.

Odd duck is what you are, he supposed he might be considered one too, but he frankly doesn’t want to be considered anything by anyone.

You were intriguing to him. And that is where he’ll leave you at. Whether or not you’ve caught each other’s gaze lingering has nothing more to do than your mutual observational habits and always being on high alert.

“Joel?”

Ellie’s voice and footsteps echoed up the stairs and through the otherwise silent house.

Joel slipped into his bedroom and clicked the door locked. He’d face the music of Ellie in the morning.

He hadn’t realized his mind had strayed from its warpath of anger, nor had he realized it had been thoughts of you which had distracted him.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

| You

A few weeks later, early April 2024

Another fitful sleep wreaked havoc on you, memories flooding your senses in forms of night terrors that made you feel like you got even less sleep than before whatever time your body had spent unconscious.

You woke up to Apollo’s stinky breath as he licked you in the face, forcefully awakening you.

“Apollo… bad boy,” but you don’t mean it. You reach over and pat his head. “Thanks buddy,” it’s as if Apollo can understand you as he gives you another lick and you groan. “Alright alright… I’m up.”

You sit up and move to the edge of your bed, Apollo patiently sitting next to your legs, refusing to leave you alone.

“Helicopter dog… I’m fine Apollo.” You whistle and try to get him to leave your room so you can get changed out of your sweaty clothes but as soon as you stand up, you lose your balance and grip onto the edge of the bed.

Apollo is right there, his nose nudging your leg.

“What?” You don’t like being told what to do by a dog. He’s trained to be a form of service dog, but he’s so bossy when he’s doing what he’s trained to do.

“Alright alright, I’m fine, I promise, I’m fine.” As if you could convince a dog of anything of the sort. He whined next to you, stubborn boy that he is.

“I know I know, let me get some water.” You stand up again, letting your legs restabilize. It was a rare occurrence, usually only after a long night of night terrors or sleep deprivation.

You make your way to the kitchen, the sun barely rising over the horizon. You grip the edge of the sink as you fill a cup with water and down it in one sitting.

“Happy now?” Apollo wags his tail in response and you roll your eyes.

You needed to get caught up on your sleep at some point, but you refused to take any time off of work. You just needed an uninterrupted day to exhaust you so you could properly get a night’s sleep. Hopefully today would be the day.

“Let’s go outside, boy, cmon,” you throw on a well-worn and well-loved hoodie. Made of canvas fabric and insulated with fresh cotton material. M.C. had made this specially for you. It was soft and warm and only for wearing at home. You refused to let the snow or even your own sweat get to it.

She had embroidered a black threaded rose into the cuff. You cherished every article of clothing she tailored to you or made just for you to have comfort. She was so thoughtful. It amazed you what she and the other tailors and textile workers had managed to do with the materials both grown from the farms or scavenged by the runners and those on patrol.

You shove your feet into your boots, grabbing your warm jacket as Apollo whines at the back door. You hastily unlock it, open it, and push the screen door open. Apollo dashes outside and takes a lap around the yard before doing his business in his favored back corner. After a few more laps to warm himself up, as per his morning routine, he dashes back inside as you hold the door for him.

“You’re about ready to stay at the kennels, Apollo, you’re right as rain.”

And he is, and maybe he’s long overdue to return to his home at the kennels with the other pups.

Maybe you felt a little lonely. Alone in a big house… but that was the intention. However, you didn’t mind the company of a furry companion who really did not care about anything but scratches and food.

Come to think of it, they’re not much different from men. You’re not sure why your brain decided to make that connection, just on the topic of loneliness.

You bet that men wish they were treated as most dogs were. Able to be lazy and doted on without having any expectations in return.

At least that’s how most of them acted in your experience many eons ago.

Okay your one man who you settled down and had a daughter with. Who did step up while you were growing his child in your womb and all that jazz.

And the men you’ve dealt with since then hadn’t been all bad… beyond the monsters bred from lack of consequences and the futile desperation it took and takes just to survive. I mean hell, what have you had to do just for you and M.C. to survive?

The difference being the left over mortality, not brutalizing men and women or enslaving others just because they think they deserve the control over others’ fates. When others made that choice against you or someone you loved, that’s when your humanity had to be set aside. Us or them, us or them, us or them. And how many lives have you had to take. The only solace being that they weren’t innocent lives. But who decided where those lines were drawn when it was mostly others just adopting the same mentality to protect themselves and the ones close to them… you cancelled each other out. Survival of the fittest.

You shake your head of those thoughts, once again wandering into mental territories you’ve warned yourself from entering. As if they didn’t plague your dreams enough.

A loud bang against the door echoes into your house, further solidifying the distance from those thoughts once again.

Apollo bared his teeth and stood in front of you, the sound of a key being inserted as turning had him settle a bit, but still wary of whoever was breaching the premises.

But the key being used only worked for the external glass door, the user would quickly realize you hadn’t been wanting visitors. It was your own way of ensuring your solitude on days you just couldn’t handle socializing to any degree… or at five in the fucking morning.

The urgent knock is followed by a voice calling your name, a voice which instantly triggers Apollo’s aggressive wagging and whining for you to open the door.

Which you do… begrudgingly. You know what this early morning intrusion is about as you glance at the calendar to confirm your worst fear.

“Open the goddamn door this instant! I can hear Apollo telling you to let me in, y’know you wanna!”

You grumble as you fiddle with the door locks, the slide of the chain, the click of the deadlock, and the quick turn on the knob… you open the door to a too-wide smile holding a bouquet of flowers. “Spring flowers for the spring baby!”

You roll your eyes, then unlock and open the final glass door to let M.C. in.

“Woke up mighty early just to bring me flowers, sweetheart.”

She shrugs and stifles a yawn as she hands them to you.

Despite your cold greeting you find an empty vase in a cabinet above your kitchen sink, fill it with water, then place the neatly trimmed stems in. You fight a smile back as you take in the choice of flowers.

“So… what’s on the agenda for the day?”

You glance at her with a suspicious tint to your eyes. Knowing she’s alluding to something already up her sleeves.

“I’ve gotta get ready for work,” you stop her short of whatever gears were turning in her head.

She nods and rolls her eyes, having bent down to scratch Apollo’s ears, his tail thumping on the floor.

Appearing a few minutes later with your thick jeans and a flannel over your favorite grey sweater, you’re ready to go for the day.

“You can walk with me.”

Her eyes light up and Apollo perks his ears up.

“Gotta take him back to the kennels, he’s all healed up now.”

You’d made the decision in your head just a few moments ago. You’ve always reminded yourself you were meant to remain alone. You couldn’t cheat yourself of your own resolve, as nice as it was to have an energetic life around your house and reminding you to take care of yourself… you knew you had to do it all yourself. You couldn’t rely on anyone or anything but yourself. That was just the way the world worked, and why should you have any different.

As you and M.C. make your way through the snow-dusted streets of Jackson, Apollo’s leash in hand and your breath clouding in the air, the town is only just beginning to stir. The morning is crisp, sun slicing through the chill in low golden beams that catch on the frost still clinging to windowpanes and rooftops.

You hear boots crunching ahead of you—someone turning the corner from the radio tower road. A familiar gait, even before you fully look up.

Joel.

He’s in his usual patrol jacket, rifle slung across his back, gloves tucked under one arm like he’s still deciding whether to bother with them. When his eyes meet yours, there’s a flicker of something—recognition, maybe, or reluctant curiosity. Or maybe he just hadn’t see you in awhile. Being neighbors, that’s a rare thing to accomplish.

You give him a nod. Neutral. Polite. Controlled. But M.C., of course, is grinning.

“Mornin’, Joel.”

He gives a grunt of acknowledgment. “Mornin’.”

Apollo, traitor that he is, gives a tail wag in Joel’s direction, as if they’re old friends. Joel glances down at him and then back to you, something unreadable in his expression.

“Dog’s lookin’ better,” his voice is low and rough with sleep and cold. “He back on duty?”

“About to be. He’s been freeloading at my house.”

“He’s a smart one, then,” Joel looks back down at the dog who’s tail is whacking against your leg. “Knows where the soft beds and warm meals are.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Don’t let that charm fool you. He’s obnoxious when he’s bored.”

He actually huffs something close to a laugh. M.C. watches the two of you with wide eyes and the kind of look that says she has thoughts she will definitely bring up later.

“Well,” Joel says after a beat. “I’ll see y’all around.”

He starts to move past, then pauses for just a moment, glancing back.

“Happy birthday.”

You blink.

You never told him that.

You say nothing—can’t say anything, really—and M.C. grins even wider like she’s going to combust. Joel walks on without another word.

You don’t say anything else until you reach the kennels, but M.C. will not let it go.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

You’ve worked yourself to the bone all day—counseling two teens caught fighting in the mess hall, beginning the process of breaking a yearling (in the process of teaching your stable hand’s how to break yearlings, one had fallen off and sprained his wrist), rebalancing the schoolhouse medicine cabinet after yet another mystery disappearance of bandaids.… the kids were always so eager about band aids. One of the unsolved mysteries of humanity.

By the time you make your way home, your body aches. You’ve been going since sunrise and you intend to crash the second you take your boots off.

“Apollo?” you call instinctively before remembering you just left him at the kennels. The silence is unnerving. A sort of unnerving you’ve grown used to.

You shut the door behind you and shed your coat, deciding on sitting on your couch and reading just to wind down from the day.

The knock came at dusk. Two instances of someone knocking on your door makes you want to run away so no on knew where to find you.

You weren’t planning on answering. You’d already stripped off your layers from the day, worn and ragged, and left them in a heap in the corner of your room.

You stood in the kitchen, holding a chipped mug of tea that had long since gone cold. Today was meant to slip by quietly—no noise, no reminder, no grief disguised as celebration.

But M.C. was persistent.

Another knock. Then her voice—“I swear to god, if you’re sitting there pretending you’re not home…”

You exhaled through your nose, placed the mug down, and opened the door.

M.C. stood there with a stupid grin, and Ellie beside her holding a tin box and what looked like a poorly wrapped package.

“You brought reinforcements,” your voice unamused and lacking any semblance of tone to help the girls know what kind of mood you were in.

“Obviously,” M.C. said, as if offended you’d think anything less of her, she breezed past you into the kitchen. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Happy birthday!” Ellie grins wide and holds up the tin which contained a messy looking peach pie with a single candle already sinking into the filling. “We were gonna yell it, but M.C. thought you’d punch one of us.”

“She’s not wrong,” you mutter, fighting back a wave of emotion too big to name. Your throat tightens as you retrieve three plates from your cabinet and begin brewing tea once again.

Ellie set the pie down on the kitchen table and giggles, amused, “I told her we didn’t have to come. She said you’d be mad if we didn’t.”

You narrowed your eyes at M.C. “That’s not even remotely true.”

“Yeah, well, you’re too tired to argue, so sit down. We brought pie.”

Your protest got stuck somewhere between your heavy eyelids and your throat. So instead, you flopped onto the couch and Ellie sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the coffee table where you had all set your plates with pie.

It smelled good. Warm. Like the orchard’s first yield of the season, still clinging to some golden memory of summer.

“This was all her idea,” Ellie said, mouth already full. “I just came for the food.”

“Liar,” M.C. nudged Ellie’s arm, a single brow lifted, “You brought a gift.”

“I mean… yeah.” Ellie wiped her fingers on her jeans and reached behind her to grab the clumsily wrapped package. “Here.”

You eyed it suspiciously. “You know I don’t do birthdays.”

“Good thing this isn’t a birthday gift,” Ellie shrugs and shakes it, insisting you take it into your hands. “It’s just a… random gift that happens to be given to you on your birthday.”

You snorted but took the package anyway. The paper was folded too many times and taped with what looked like old stickers. Inside, beneath the crinkled layers, was a journal. Sturdy. Leather-bound. Handmade, if you had to guess. Clean pages, thick and smooth under your fingers.

Your brow furrowed. “What is this?”

Ellie shrugged. “Joel gave it to me. Told me to give it to you.”

That made you pause. “Joel?” And the pieces came together in your head. That’s how he knew it was your birthday.

She nodded. “Didn’t say much. Just… ‘She might need this more than I do’.” The man’s tone clearly mocked in her rendition of what he had told her. “I wanted to invite him to come, but M.C. said you’d be pissed at us enough for showing up as is.”

Your lips pull down at the corners, eyebrows lifting just a bit—an unspoken… and she’d be right about that.

You looked down at the journal, trying not to read into the heaviness in your chest. Ellie fidgeted with the pie tin, pretending not to watch you too closely. You decided not to ponder the meaning, likely Joel just handed off the journal to Ellie and she needed something to give you in obligation to a birthday. Not that you had expected or wanted anything at all. It was just how humans were.

“I don’t think he meant it as anything big,” she added. “He’s just weird about stuff.”

“Use it or don’t,” Ellie shrugged. “I just didn’t want to hold onto it anymore.”

Justifying giving someone a birthday present… you just wanted to tear up whoever made her feel bad about a damn thing.

You didn’t say anything. Just set the journal on the table beside the tin, where it sat quiet and patient, like it didn’t expect anything from you either. Too tired to object too much anyways, just waiting for the night to naturally come to a close, and yet somehow… grateful to not be alone. You can’t fault others for wanting to celebrate birthdays. Even if that included your own.

You eat. You even laugh once when Ellie tells a story about Joel getting caught in a snowstorm last week because he refused to ask for directions back from a supply run. (“He’d rather die than admit he was lost,” she says. “Man’s a stubborn mule.”)

The house is quiet again once they leave, the last of their laughter trailing out with the click of the front door. You don’t even have the energy to clean up.

Then you’re moving—slow, deliberate—peeling off the sweater, tugging at your boots. You make it halfway to the bedroom before your legs protest again, and for a second you’re frozen in the hallway, dizzy.

You breathe. Not deep, not steady. Just enough.

Your bed’s still unmade from this morning. You don’t care. You fall into it like a body into water—sinking.

And you don’t stir again until late the next afternoon. No dreams, no night terrors. Just sleep. And god had you fucking needed it.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

< prev chap | masterlist | next chap >

Little steps at a time. This is just the beginning…

[purpleandstarlight]

Some time ago I said I would make a post about my opinion on various of the kuro characters' stance on the LGBTQA+ community so here It comes i guess. Gonna be a pretty long post I suppose.

Starting off with what may be a hot take: o!Ciel ain't homophobic or transphobic or anything. Yana may write him like that, but I feel like that's her problem and not his. It makes basically no sense with his character. He's just a dude trying to live his life and he canonically doesn't judge people for going against what society thinks should be the "norm" (His speech defending Snake in the Campania arc, to name one instance). He HIMSELF doesn't really follow the "norm" of a noble of that time period (Treats his human servants (so not Sebastian) like actual human beings and even family, doesn't seem to go to church or leave his house for fun much, hates socializing and going to parties). I personally even read him as aroace!

Plus he canonically read (or was at least knowledgeable about) Carmilla, wich I never read but from what I hear was gay Dracula before Dracula was invented.

That said, in modern era he WOULD make gay funtom merchandise for pride month only for the profit and not to stand by the gays. Not because he's homophobic, he just doesn't care about being so public in his support for the community if not for that sweet, sweet money. Tiny capitalist child. Awful little man.

Now, if you want to blame a Phantomhive for being homophobic...that's R!Ciel. An actually alive, not bizarre doll R!Ciel could be convinced of the LGBTQA+ community not being bad IF (and only if) his brother was a part of it and o!Ciel slowly educated him on what not to say or think. Like not even the knowledge that his father is the most bisexual person alive would convince him, he'd just live in denial. But we know that o!Ciel is sacred for him. "If brother says this, then it's the truth."

Bizarre doll R!Ciel is like those mums that go "I'm fine with gay people I just think that [insert extremely homophobic statement here]". He also says stuff like "The A in the LGBTQA+ community stands for Ally :)"

Lizzie is very nice and openly supportive, but WILL get sometimes flustered in front of two gay people being gay. She will also sometimes stumble and say something bad by mistake, but she immediately corrects her behavior as soon as she's explained that what she said wasn't right.

Tanaka? Complete Ally. No boomer behavior from the Grandpa ever.

Mei Rin? Ally. She is also a total lesbian who just hasn't come to terms with it yet, though. So for now she just says she's an Ally and moves on.

Finny is also an Ally who just doesn't get he's part of the community yet. He's aroace and doesn't know it.

Bard says he's an Ally, but the fact is that the only gay person he doesn't support is himself. Had his bi awakening after working with Sebastian at the Manor but denies it to himself like o!Ciel denies himself love and happiness.

Speaking of Sebastian, he's a very homophobic gay being. Not with himself. He knows he ain't straight and isn't upset about it. But if another person drops hints that they are, he's mad about it and WONT support them. Unless it's Agni. If it's Agni, he's EXTREMELY happy about it...

Agni is either Bi or a complete Ally.

Soma is the token straight friend. He's a complete Ally tho. Doesn't even hesitate. "Oh you're into men? That's cool! I'm into curry :)"

William is aroace and okay with that but he's also homophobic and transphobic.

Ronald is either Bi or another "token straight, ally friend"

Bonus: more sexuality headcanons!

Undertaker gives me big homosexual vibes but I also believe in the theory that him and Claudia had a thing, so I'll say pan.

Sieglinde is a lesbian. Had her first girl crush on Lizzie.

Grelle is obviously and canonically a trans woman and proud but imo she STILL needs to understand that men aren't her thing. Women are. She's in denial.

Also headcanon that in a modern era she would fucking hate the trans flag colours bc there's no deep red in it wich means she doesn't know how to incorporate it with her aesthetic.

Othello is ace. Idk if he's aro too or at least into women, but he's ace.

Alois is only into guys but also ace. @weeb-cheese showed me the light when they said he looked aroace to them. I can't completely buy the aro part but i am 100% sold on him being ace.

[maya-matlin]

What common Degrassi takes do you most disagree with, ie Zig being cocky and smooth, etc!

1.) Obviously, that one LOL. If someone legitimately tries to argue that Zig "I'm terrible at pretty much everything" "But is it good enough for you?" Novak is confident.. they're objectively wrong. They're getting stuck on him looking the part of the confident, bad boy and ignoring half of what comes out of his mouth.

2.) Darcy isn't irredeemable or a bad person because she falsely accused Snake of being inappropriate with her. She was a scared, traumatized child who panicked because she was thrown into a situation where she would be forced to talk about her rape before she was ready. Snake handled all of that completely wrong, even though he meant well. It didn't come from a heartless, malicious place. She immediately tried to take it all back and openly supported his return to the school. His career wasn't ruined. He eventually became the principal. I genuinely don't understand where people's compassion is when it comes to this story line. Darcy wasn't the ideal victim. She was never supposed to be.

3.) None of the canonically lesbian characters should have been bisexual. Based on what we saw from each one introduced to us with the assumption that they were straight (Alex, Fiona, Zoe), their eventual coming out journeys made sense. Could they have been written with more care with an actual explanation as to how they came to identify this way? Absolutely. But I feel like the Degrassi fandom constantly invalidates their sexualities, especially with Zoe, because they're upset they no longer get to justify shipping them with men.

4.) Don't kill me, but Eli calling Clare a whore wasn't out of character. It was cruel and he had zero excuse, but based on the number of times Eli lashed out at Clare and other people, it makes total sense that he'd say the worst possible thing he could think to say under the mistaken impression that he'd been wronged. He was hurt and angry, and he wanted her to feel bad. He behaved in a similar way after their first breakup.

5.) Jimmy wasn't the perfect boyfriend. In fact, Jimmy never gets enough shit for being so passive aggressive in relationships, particularly when he's ready to end it and emotionally invested in another girl. But because he's cowardly, something we saw pretty consistently over the years, he waits for his girlfriends to notice so that he doesn't have to be the bad guy and can play innocent. Overall, there are little things about Jimmy that bug me, such as calling Ashley a slut. And on that note, this fandom is way too comfortable openly enjoying slut shaming when they feel like the character is unlikable or irritating enough to "deserve it" (Clare and Ashley).

6.) Obligatory reminder that Zig didn't murder Cam due to his depression leading to his suicide and multiple things over the course of a couple of days playing a role in the headspace Cam was in when he ended his life

7.) Liberty was completely fucked over during her pregnancy arc. Excuse me. JT's pregnancy arc. It was blatantly racist how the show chose to be revolutionary by focusing on the black pregnant girl's white boyfriend for the entirety of her pregnancy. Liberty was the villain in her own story line because the writers really wanted us to understand how much pressure JT was under due to expecting a child, worrying about finances, his life changing drastically, etc. Things must have been rough for Liberty as well, but meh. She's just a bitter, controlling, bitch who never deserved JT. Seriously, I see that take a lot. In my opinion, they both could have handled things better, but neither was getting the help or support they needed. Liberty seemed to be in denial and couldn't cope with the fact she'd allowed herself to become pregnant due to carelessness when she's supposed to be so responsible. A lot must have been going on with her, both mentally and emotionally, but we never hear about it or see any of it.

8.) Clare and Drew were actually a good (no, great) ship. Many fans just weren't prepared or happy to see either with someone else due to the popularity of the Eli/Clare and Drew/Bianca relationships. It also wasn't random, out of character, or even all that forced based on how their characters had grown through the years. It's funny to see Clare described as being not Drew's type when he's pretty consistently into smart, ambitious women who can put him in his place. And in the case of Clare, her preferences are all over the place with Drew not being all that different physically or personality wise from KC or Jake. Their emotional connection grew and deepened for almost the entirety of season 13, including the summer between school years and for the majority of their senior year. Even though their decision to sleep together was impulsive and surprising, in reality they'd been circling each other for months. It was bound to happen, and then it did.

9.) Another thing I disagree with is that Maya should have talked about Cam more or told ___ about his suicide. It was very obvious to me that Maya was extremely triggered by Cam's death and struggled to move past it. It makes perfect sense that she'd struggle to even talk about it. It was extremely painful and personal to Maya. Miles was never going to be the one she opened up to. He just wasn't. This isn't even necessarily a pro Zaya thing. But the fact Zig was around for Cam's death and understood most of Maya's pain meant that Maya opening up to Zig about the way she was feeling and acknowledging her ex's existence was far more likely than Maya opening up to Miles, someone she struggled to open up to emotionally or relate to beyond what he was willing to share. At a certain point, it starts to feel like Maya bringing up Cam for the sake of bringing up Cam. Not because it's actually helping Maya or moving her story forward in any way.

10.) Tristan's biphobia towards Miles didn't happen in a vacuum. While Tristan's character was extremely flawed and he wasn't always the most likable person, it honestly came across to me that his biphobia got so out of control because it took the writers a long time to catch on to the fact that Tristan invalidating his boyfriend's sexual orientation was inappropriate, dehumanizing, and shouldn't have been written off as catty comments not meant to be taken seriously. Degrassi overall didn't handle polysexual identities very well. Paige's attraction to women was downplayed aside from her relationship with Alex. Imogen was also never labeled, eventually being referred to multiple times during her final season as a lesbian.

11.) Lola got the right endgame, and she definitely shouldn't have kept Miles's baby.

[wtowingedtragicobsidian]

BDS Gender & Orientation HCs pt1 ADA

~if a character/commentary is not included I’m just assuming they’re cis/straight~

Atsushi:

Orientation:|Aro/Ace| (I’m claiming this one as my quota per show) Doesn’t consider romance/sex often, only ever really thinking about it when he does something that makes him go ‘oh shit that might have crossed a line that had the wrong implications or made someone uncomfortable.’

However, he wouldn't protest much if somebody (regardless of gender) wanted to having a dating relationship. It would take him a while to adjust but he’d eventually enjoy it, he just wouldn’t seek out those kinds of partnerships on his own and wouldn’t be completely shattered if they ended.

*I like to think (b/c it makes me laugh and it seems like something Dazai would do) that Atsushi’s tie clip is a bisexual flag Dazai gave him and he just wears it b/c he doesn’t know what it means. (tbh, I think Atsushi’s mostly ignorant of sexualities, not in the way of being bigoted, but in the way of never having realized that there’s different ways to categorize them. He just thought if you like somebody you asked them out, gender was never even considered.)

Dazai:

Gender: |Agender-unrealized| Goes with male but doesn’t actually strongly identify with any gender. Uses masculine pronouns but will also use neutral or impersonal pronouns when thinking (and sometimes talking) about themselves.

*in some of the aus we see she either transition or is born female, but she still feel similarly detached to gender.

Orientation: |Bi| Attracted to both binaries but compulsively gets with women more often, tending to only fantasize or on occasion entertain men flirting with him—he rarely goes past that unless it’s a power play or for a mission.

*real talk I think he probably has a fucked up relationship with sexuality, but that has less to do with who he’s attracted to and more to do with his own personal complexes surrounding sex and meaning.

Kunikida:

Gender:|Transwomen-unrealized| Identifies as male and uses masculine pronouns. BUT, when someone refers to him femininely instead of debating, he just pauses—it doesn’t feel as incorrect as it should, making his heart clench and then soften in a way that steals the words of rebuttal out of his mouth. (in another life she might realize, but in canon no such luck.)

Orientation: |Straight(?)| Interested in women, more specifically interested in finding The Perfect Woman™ according to his Ideals’, but alas. He’s fine with men flirting with him (he finds it strangely flattering, making his heart flutter with warmth) but he just politely informs them he’s straight.

However, he isn’t opposed to being an a qpr with a man—he would never seek it one out, but if he found himself in one with somebody he REALLY values it wouldn’t be much of an issue.

Ranpo:

Gender: |Transman| Uses masculine pronouns.

Orientation: |unspecified| Not super interested in relationships and has distaste or confusion over certain aspects of them (but I’m tempted to say this might be more related to his autism than his sexuality). If the transition into the relationship was natural and subtle, he'd be ok with it.

*Ranpo likes running bets with the ADA (read Yosano, Dazai and sometimes Fukazawa, the others stopped betting with Ranpo over anything a long time ago b/c they’d never win) over who’s with/going to get with who and what happens between the relationships. (sfw or otherwise)

Tanizaki:

Gender: |Transmasc, Demiboy| Uses masculine and neutral pronouns

Orientation: |Bi-curious| Finds men attractive (bi panics) but isn’t sure if it’s romantic interest.

Yosano:

Orientation: |Lesbian| Likes women and wine and having a good time.

Fukuzawa:

Orientation: |Aro| Doesn’t clock advances well (like he’s REALLY bad at it, Ranpo has to point it out for him) and when he does, he just chuckles and says he’s flattered but no, none for him thanks.

[snarky-wittgenstein]

Happy Pride!

it's been a while since I've done a headcanons post so here's some of my own sexuality headcanons for some Royal Tutor characters that I've been thinking of sharing for a while

🌈👑🌈👑🌈👑🌈

❤️Licht❤️

Hetero or possibly comphet. He's always bragging about being popular with the ladies but as the series goes on there's really not much to back up this claim. I once saw a headcanon that he might have had a little bit of a crush on Maximilian from back when they were living in town. It's not a headcanon I share but I thought that was interesting

🧡Leonhard🧡

I don't know and he probably also doesn't know. Maybe he'll figure it out one day, but it's not important to him right now. He'll like who he likes, it doesn't matter as long as they get along and can have fun together. If I were to give a label I think aromantic pan demisexual could fit

💛Bruno💛

Similar to Leonhard, I don't know and I think he has not stopped to consider it because he's too occupied with other things. He'll probably like someone who shares his academic interests, and he probably thinks it's a given that he'd marry a princess for practical diplomatic reasons. I like the idea of him developing some sort of relationship with Smerdyakov but I'm not sure how old he is so I haven't given it much thought. I'm not sure if sapiosexual (or sapioromantic??) is an ok thing to call him, so if I were to give a label I like greyromantic demisexual

💚Kai💚

Aroace with strong aesthetic and sensual attraction to any gender. I'm not sure if this makes him very compatible with Beatrix's expectations (and I think she also might be comphet) but I think they would be quite understanding of each other and able to work something out

🩵Eins🩵 (WARNING spoilers for vol. 15!!)

I think he also hasn't given it much thought because he's always just assumed he would marry a princess and that's the set path for him in life. But Princess Matilda meant a lot to him after he got to know her, so I think he could be demi hetero

💙Ernst💙

Definitely definitely gay for Eins I could almost say this is canon and the tragedy is delicious

💜Herr Mitter-Meyer (aka Felix Sommer)💜

I find it funny to think what if he was straight and just has no time to date, but I also like to think that he and his bartender/manager friend Herman Koenig have something going on, and he did seem very focused on Viktor's looks the first time they met. Actually I have no headcanons for this I just wanted to put this here

🩷Viktor🩷

Biromantic and possibly also bisexual

♥️Heine♥️

Demiromantic gay ace (possibly greysexual) with strong aesthetic attraction regardless of gender. Maybe this isn't super related but I also headcanon that his favourite thing to read during his free time is girl-meets-guy romance novels varying from the cheesy type to Jane Austen. I also like the idea that he's trans but I'm not sure if I would call it a headcanon for me

👑🌈👑🌈👑🌈👑

These are just my headcanons for fiction, based on what I can remember about the characters right now and I feel like I've forgotten a lot, so they can change any time and for any reason, and also sometimes I have multiple different headcanons existing at the same time

I'm probably also projecting somewhat and I'm not super well versed in all the ways we can identify, so I'm curious to know if anyone else also shares these headcanons. I've seen some pretty nice ones out there, let me know what's yours!

[omnipah]

for the character asks: pickman sangfielle and/or any malevolent guy of ur choosing

well if u insist!!!!

Pickman

Sexuality Headcanon: i do get very aro vibes from pickman and i think in a lot of cases she's functionally ace but. she sure did fuck that old woman! so i guess she's aro train-god-sexual lesbian. good for her Gender Headcanon: i mean i know this is the autism vibes but she truly does seem like the kind of person who's only doing woman because that's what she started as and knows how to do. she's still fairly cut off from traditional expressions of gender because of the autism and the Train Trauma but at the same time it's her version of womanhood and she's kind of spitefully attached to it now, even tho it's in a kind of nb way. A ship I have with said character: That Old Woman (shoutouts to chantilly scathe!!!) A BROTP I have with said character: duvall for that time he manifested into a scene he wasn't in to defend her honour A NOTP I have with said character: alekest i guess? i mean he did that himself tho. anyone else i mean. is it really friends at the table if the player characters don't all have weird unethical polycule vibes? A random headcanon: she seems like one of those people who can't cook for shit unless u give her a recipe with exact instructions and proportions and then even if she's completely unfamiliar with the technique she's suddenly a 5star chef. she thinks this is normal and everyone is like this and is baffled when colette gets moony-eyed at her over it General Opinion over said character: i am picking petals off flowers saying 'she loves me, she loves me not' i am doodling her name in my notebook i am cheerleading on the sidelines of every scene shes in i am holding her giant gun for her in case she needs it

Kayne Malevolent (i would say sorry but u did this to urself)

Sexuality Headcanon: i mean as far as canon goes he seems less concerned with gender and more concerned with whoever he doesn't consider boring. i could go ahead and just decide he's gay because he flirted with both john and arthur (not to mention the fruitiness) but that's too easy. if women were legal in malevolent he'd be uncomfortably horny about them too, i know it Gender Headcanon: whatever he's doing he's doing it a lot. A ship I have with said character: i mean given his whole deal he seems fairly impervious to like. intimacy. but i think it's fun when he gets all marina and the diamonds homewrecker in jarthur's already unstable marriage A BROTP I have with said character: well it would be lovely if there were sufficient characters in the actual show for him to actually have any kind of friendship with. or more likely affectionate rivalry considering how unpleasant he is as a person A NOTP I have with said character: i mean i don't know of anyone who's shipping him with anyone in particular but the only other recurring characters are larson yellow and the butcher and uh. all of them. less the butcher cus can u imagine the combination of fucked up hedonist trickster god + catholic guilt but still. the vibes are fucking rancid A random headcanon: this is mostly just taking the trope and running with it but i like to think he operates under fae rules, like, technically can't lie and technically has to keep his promises, so is like. extremely careful how he words things and what he avoids saying and leaves implied. bonus points cus he talks so fast u can't really tell he's doing it unless ur paying attention. yes i realise this is the third character in a row i'm headcanoning as a beaurocrat but listen it's my autism i get to project it General Opinion over said character: he's like a budget version of the outsider if the outsider listened to the orion experience. we love a fucked up trickster god and of course we love a bisexual covered in blood but yknow what else i love? characters who show up often enough to actually learn anything about them at all.

[sunriseverse]

xue yang…………………………..

YES i will talk about your boy >:)

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual. i don't think he thinks too much about it though he's got far more pressing issues going on.

Gender Headcanon: dude. man. guy. in canon he's not giving it much thought because again, he's got bigger issues. which he's avoiding, to be fair! no one said he's perfect

A ship I have with said character: sxx...............turning them over in my head like a fucked up rotisserie chicken. or a burning carrousel.

A BROTP I have with said character: not enough attention is paid to the way he genuinely seems to enjoy jgy so i guess i'll go with that. i especially like the flavour of "jgy is kind of in a low-grade crisis over the atrocities happening under his hand and xy is just whistling cheerfully as he does them".

A NOTP I have with said character: saw someone ship him with nmj and. um. no thank you.

A random headcanon: he'd go batshit over candy figures i know this to be true in my heart. give him a candy grasshopper or something and he'll probably be so excited he'll forget about trying to rob you.

General Opinion over said character: what a charming young man! i sure hope he's not causing any sort of harm to anyone!

[b1oodandchocolate]

In this post:

About the Muse (Dr. Frederick Chilton, NBC Hannibal)

About the Mun (Hi, I’m Casper!)

I’ll Write...

I Won’t Write...

Character Headcanons (HC’s and Canon-Divergent Ideas) 

RP Rules

This is my secondary RP blog! Freddie Lounds (NBC Hannibal) is my main character. You can find my blog for her here, @thegreatestjournalistofalltime​ , on which I would also be thrilled to write with you if you’d like! Both are independent and selective.

I have the link to my RP Queue board on my side navigation, but for mobile users, you can click here to see all the stuff I’m working on.

All dividers used below were made by saradika​. Please go check out her work. It’s all lovely.

Dr. Frederick Chilton is an arrogant, self-absorbed man who desires nothing more than to be admired and recognized in the world of psychiatry. He had initially attempted to achieve this notoriety as a surgeon, but he lacked the skills necessary and thus switched to a different medical field. He always seems to be in Hannibal's shadow, and it bothers him. So much so that he attempts to imitate the man more than he may even realize.

Like Freddie Lounds, he resorts to shady means to attain his desired status. However, he always seems to fall short, regardless.

Here’s Chilton’s Wiki Bio for more information if you haven’t seen the show ❤️

Hello, there! My name is Casper. I’m transmasc non-binary (my pronouns are they/them/theirs or he/him/his) and I’m over the age of 30. I’m neurodivergent as fuck, and, despite writing for shady characters, I’m a soft boi  😅 

I’m kind of the stereotypical introvert, so I know I can sometimes come across as standoffish (especially online), but I promise that I’m friendly! I just have a super low threshold for socializing, especially with people I don’t know or don’t know very well yet, which sometimes makes it seem like I don’t want to talk to someone, when the reality is that I just can’t at a given time. Especially since it’s super easy for me to hit “burnout mode.”

Anyway, I’m hoping that I can actually do something of substance with this blog and stick around a while lol. Please don’t be afraid to say hi! Just please keep in mind that I may not be able to respond right away.

Lastly, this is my Ao3, which has been collecting dust and pretty much only has Chilton stuff on it (except for that one Nevada fic) lol: casperlounds on Ao3

Fluffy stuff

Platonic relationships

Consensual NSFW stuff (please see rules below)

Violent or Dark Themes (please see rules below)

Canon-Compliant OR Canon-Divergent Stuff

RP with Non-Hannibal Characters from Other Shows/Movies

RP with OCs in OR Outside of Hannibal

And more...

NonCon/Sexual Violence

Various Kinks (please see rules below)

Varying Degrees of Gore (please see rules below)

Burned Chilton (please see character headcanons below)

And more...

His arrogance and superiority stem from deep-seated feelings of not being good enough (though, is this even really a headcanon? It's implied canon lol).

His father was a surgeon and incredibly tough on him growing up. His mother was a history professor and, though she was more encouraging, she wasn't too much better.

Only child. Didn't have very many friends growing up.

In RP where it's in his history that he was kidnapped by Dolarhyde, Chilton was rescued before the Dragon could maim and burn him. The details can vary based on RP (if it makes sense), but my HC is that he was being tracked and Jack and Will expected that Chilton might become the target instead of Will. This is the one canon-divergent thing I won't budge on because it fucked me up way too badly when I saw it in the show and I have to skip over it any time I do a rewatch. I don't care who was in that chair, that was brutal and nobody deserves that.

Bisexual.

Hasn't had a romantic or physical relationship with anyone in a really long time. He gets lonely in his ostentatious house by himself, but he'd never admit it. He's also the kind of person to try to ignore it if he starts developing feelings for someone because he fears rejection.

Please read these rules before requesting to roleplay.

This blog is 18+ ONLY. Therefore, I will also only write with people over the age of 18. Minors, please DNI.

If you want to RP with me, please PM me and let me know what you had in mind. Please do not post a starter without discussing things with me first. That way, we can also decide who will start things off!

I prefer public RPs, reblogging each other with our responses. HOWEVER, if you’d like to RP privately, please tell me so and I will try to work something out with you. Preferably on Discord.

That said, I cannot do RP in PMs. I tried that once and it was a bad struggle for me. Which is why I suggest Discord.

I will only accept random starters from certain people. If I get comfortable enough, I’ll let you know if I’m OK with your doing that. However, please don’t take this personally! As I stated in the About the Mun section, I’m both neurodivergent and have trouble with social spaces.

That said, if I post an Open Starter that reads “(anyone may reply),” I mean anyone, even non-mutuals. Any Open Starters meant solely for mutuals will be clearly marked to avoid confusion. However, for those who do reply (thank you!), please be aware that I may not get to yours or it may or may not turn into a longer RP.

Please understand that I often struggle with burnout and extreme fatigue, as well as other symptoms stemming from ADHD. Therefore, there will be times when I write more and times that I write less. I also might find it easier to work on one thing over another at a given time, but that doesn't mean I don’t value the partner or the RP I’m not working on. If this doesn't work for you, that’s totally understandable, just please don’t start writing with me if this is something you think will be a problem. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

On that same note, please be aware that I will not be writing page-long+ replies. Some of my starters/replies may be longer than others, but I generally write two or three paragraphs. If you’re looking for someone who writes lengthy replies, I’m not your guy. Realistically, I also know I wouldn’t be able to read those lengthy posts, so it wouldn’t be fair to you, either.

Despite not writing ultra lengthy replies, I do put a lot of thought and effort into them. I’ve been made aware that some people have started to use AI generated responses in RP (what a time to be alive). This is a hard no from me. I may take a while to respond, but when I do, I do so to the best of my abilities. I’d hope my partners do the same.

I will only accept “pre-established relationship” OCs (i.e. your character is the romantic interest/mortal enemy/childhood best friend/etc. of my muse) on a case-by-case basis. As with the “romantic chemistry” rule below, if I’m not feeling the connection, or if I don’t think I’ll be a good fit as a partner for it, I will respectfully decline.

If you want to drop or rework/restart a thread or idea that we’re working on together, please let me know!

Please don’t message me asking when I’m going to get to your response. All that does is make me anxious. I’ll likely let you know, myself, when I can get around to it if you’ve been waiting.

Likewise, please don’t spam message me, especially if I haven’t responded. That makes me incredibly anxious and less likely to respond at all.

However, please do message me if you have questions or want to discuss an idea in the RP we’re working on!!!

I will not have exclusive partners for a given character (i.e. a single Hannibal Lecter that I write with and no other Hannibals). There may be people I write with most frequently for a given character, but I won’t exclude other people.

If you aren’t sure if I’ll be comfortable with something, please ask. This includes NSFW themes, dark themes, violence, and gore. I will do the same for you!

As a general rule, I’ll likely not be comfortable with most kinks. You can ask in PMs while we plan our roleplay, but please know that the answer will likely be “no.”

In the event that you want to RP NSFW stuff, please let me know at the start that this is something you'd like to explore. However, also keep in mind that if I’m not feeling the connection, if it it doesn't make sense for our muses after we get into the RP, I won’t force it. Likewise, I’m also aware that sometimes things will gradually, naturally lead to romantic or sexual places, so it’s fine if that happens organically as we go.

Also, please keep in mind, though I don't mind discussing more explicit NSFW stuff regarding characters, I may not want to RP super explicit stuff. Again, case by case and I'd prefer to discuss it first so that we're both comfortable.

This post and all its sections are subject to change or revision. If that happens, I’ll post that I’ve updated it.

[jormshands]

YUMESHIP ASK GAME!!!! questions created by deathdetermineslife!! I'm doing it this way because I want to answer all of them in depth but I don't want to possibly overwhelm them with it 🥺

‼️contains spoilers for hatoful boyfriend ‼️

QnA under the cut

- disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

I'm kinda thinking Yuuya would maybe take up a job like his biological father had? His dad was a leather craftsman in a rural part of France and I can see him wanting to do something crafty and with his hands

- if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

Read probably. He canonically knows at least three different languages fluently so I imagine he likes learning new words and their meanings, especially since he has a very eloquent way of speaking (usually). That and reading is fun

- what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

Yuuya is seen drinking wine a Concerning Amount so probably red wine (specifically from France lol)

- is your f/o religious? what's their opinion on religion or spirituality?

He references something about "thanking the gods of the shrine" in canon but I honestly think that was him being weird and flirty. Other than that he shows no other signs of believing in something but that being said I don't think he's an atheist either. Yuuya is probably agnostic (I just remembered the cult thing too but idk if he actually believed or was just hyped tf up by the thought of sacrificing okosan lmaooo)

- is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

I feel like he'd like giving more. He'd give the cheesy stuff like flowers, chocolate, jewelry, love letters etc. but as we see in canon he's very appreciative of gifts given to him

- if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

Ig peel the orange?? I never understood this question but if I ask for something he'd be happy to assist in any way

- did your f/o have stuffed animals growing up? do they still have stuffed animals? do they have a favorite?

Popular hc that I love is he has a stuffie from his bio dad that he keeps still as remembrance

- if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why?

Make him not have to live with that PIECE OF SHIT LE BEL FUCK HIM ALL MY HOMIES HATE LE BEL

- does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

Yuuya doesn't but I sure as hell do

- if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

He's said in canon he wishes he was more confident in himself. He's not envious per say but definitely wishes he had the same confidence Sakuya and Hiyoko have

-is your f/o superstitious? is there any habits they follow or quirks they have to follow said superstitions? like not opening umbrellas indoors to avoid back luck?

I mean maybe?? I heard from an actual irl spy they instinctively do like a scan of every room they walk into to actively look for threats/information so I can see him doing that

- does your f/o believe in fate? do they thing everything is preplanned out by the universe or a higher power, or do they think that the idea of fate is bogus? why?

He kind of says he does but again idk if it's him teasing Hiyoko but he might. I can see him believing in soulmates (and I'm his hehehe)

- if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

Yuuya is bisexual!!!! That's HEAVILY implied in the series MANY TIMES. Most obvious is where he gets excited at the thought of boys also finding him attractive

- does your f/o have any nervous ticks or idle quirks they do? like mindlessly tapping on a desk or fiddling with their hair when they're stressed?

He probably paces a lot, he seems to be more kinesthetic and likes keeping busy so I'd imagine the constant movement is soothing to him. I can also see him fidgeting with his clothes a lot

- would your f/o ever let you do their make-up?

He doesn't wear make up. The most feminine thing he's done is put on a frilly apron because his cover job told him to

-what does their make-up process look like? is it simple? complex?

N/A

- what kind of hugger is your f/o? do they give good hugs? do they like hugs? do they like receiving hugs?

He'd be the BEST HUGGER EVER. He's so comforting and loving. He's the type to rub your back and pull your face into his chest to console you ❤️❤️

- is your f/o more of a writer or an artist? would you say your f/o is more left or right brained?

Writer for sure because of his flowery speech especially when in the presence of women but I think he's actually more left brained. He's very analytical and cunning as seen multiple times in his problem solving skills and ability to read people

- if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

Still on his usual spy bullshit

- what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

Maybe writing poetry or short stories. And he canonically plays the saxophone so that too.

-if your f/o could buy you any gift in the world, whether it exists or not, what would they buy you? or, if they could make you something, what would it be?

I actually have a necklace he made me!!!

- does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

Considering he's shown to have medical knowledge he'd probably do what a doctor would suggest but then again the shot of whiskey thing is totally something he'd pick up from Leone loll

- is your f/o a picky eater? is there any foods they will not under any circumstances, gun to their head, eat?

He loves trying new foods. I saw a hc that he likes to eat and probably has to considering how muscular and active he is. He'll eat about anything you put in front of him or at least try it

-when your f/o was little, did they dislike vegetables? do they still dislike them?

Baby Yuuya totally hated broccoli

- what makes your f/o cry? do they get emotional at sad movies or books? do they only get emotional under very rare circumstances?

We have never actually seen him cry before, even in scary or depressing situations (it's implied he does just not often at all). That being said he's a very sad individual. He carries a TON of guilt for the whole killing a baby thing (but surprisingly has absolutely no remorse for the targets he's killed for the Dove Party and in the case of Tohri gets excited at the thought of shooting him dead) and doesn't value his life in the least. Yuuya canonically wants to die but doesn't commit suicide or anything because that feels like a cop out to him

-does your f/o have a favorite animal? what is it? are they scared of any animals?

He seems like a dog person!!

- does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

The one time we've seen him get pissed (and not about his brother being in danger because in that he was LIVID) is when anghel ignores him so I'd say being ignored or not taken seriously really makes him angry

- what's your f/o afraid of? do they have any phobias? anything minor they're scared of?

He says he has fears but never states them so more theorizing here. Definitely NOT afraid of death but I'd say he's scared of being alone and forgotten since he knows what the feels like and it kills him inside

- what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

I've seen a popular hc that he's kinda messy. Not like in a gross way but like maybe leaves papers and stuff lying around everywhere and procrastinates cleaning

-how does your f/o feel about pet names or nicknames? do they like them? hate them? what are their favorites and least favorites to be called and to use?

This bastard will call you by a nickname more often than your own name. He always says some mon amie, ma belle, my love, baby, etc so if you called him something cute and affectionate back he'd melt

- how does your f/o feel about death? are they afraid of it? is there anything specific they'd like to do before they die?

Not afraid and is actively wishing for it. He honestly seemed truly happy dying to save his brother

- is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

He's a superhero nerd I can feel it in my jimmies. That and a massive shadow the hedgehog fan because they share a Japanese voice actor!! Also he's got a fascination with both modern and prehistoric underwater creatures because I do too and I said so

- what are a few of your f/os favorite pastimes or things that they do when they're bored?

I can imagine him going on walks or maybe reading or maybe even trying to learn a new recipe. He is a skilled fighter so he probably likes to practice combat skills too for fun and to stay in shape

- if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

Him a dove 🙏

But fr I want to see merman Yuuya

-does your f/o have a favorite scent? why is it their favorite? do they have a least favorite scent?

Is there anything that smells like French that isn't a baguette or cheese?/j

I hc he likes any fancy cologne. He hates the rich but likes smelling sophisticated because he's a gentleman

- does your f/o have any allergies? food or otherwise?

I've seen him being allergic to eggs before because of ...yeah...but I more see him as not liking the taste/texture of them. He probably just has usual allergies like pollen and some plants

-does your f/o have any food dishes they make often? is there any foods you make for your f/o that they enjoy?

I love pasta and cheese so maybe some dishes like that he'd make for me ☺️