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assisi-writes · 2 years ago

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OMG the praise kink 💀 no, seriously Lucifer has an astronomical amount of rizz. If I were Luce during that final scene, I would have folded like a camping chair. Also the Lucifer / Lucinda name match literally implies that they were made BY GOD to be soulmates.

And yeah, I call bullshit on Luce & Daniel’s relationship, he lords over her waaay too much, like the bleached hair thing:

“I don’t understand why you did this, Luce. It isn’t you.” She pushed him away. It had always bothered her when people said that. “Well, I’m the one who dyed it, Daniel. So, technically, it is me. Maybe not the ‘me’ you want me to be—” “That’s not fair. I don’t want you to be anyone other than who you are.”

What the hell does that even mean, it’s not like she joined a satanic cult, she just dyed her fucking hair. And he does this again and again:

“I’m just trying to take it day by day. Make friends, you know? Yesterday I joined a club, and we’re planning a yacht trip somewhere. Things like that.” [...] Daniel had narrowed his eyes like she’d already done something wrong. “You’re not going on a yacht trip anywhere.” “What?” “You’ll stay right here on this campus until I say so.”

BROOOO STOP. And when she goes on the yacht trip, as she should, he goes:

“I told you there were rules. I told you not to leave this campus. But you haven’t listened. How many times have you disobeyed me?” “Disobeyed you?” She laughed, but inside she felt dizzy and sick. “What are you, my boyfriend or my master?”

Anyway, there’s way too many quotes that support this thesis. But one thing is for certain, Luce has way more chemistry both with Cam and Lucifer, even with poor old Miles.

I’m also kinda sad that after the first book, Cam got a little sidelined and he doesn’t appear as often as he should. His big dick energy is palpable every time he appears and we just deserve more of it.

So, I’ve been obsessed with Lauren Kate’s Fallen series for years, but recently rereading it and Cam’s book, Unforgiven, I realize some things I’d like to critique. Spoilers, obviously; and tw for DA and Self-harm, gore, suicide

First, Cam’s character is completely retconned in his book. In Passion, they tell us that Lilith, his love interest, holds him down and screams in his face, and belittles him so badly he actually believes what she says.

In his book, Unforgiven, the author just lazily says, “Cam just imagined that!! That never actually happened.”

Except it did. We know this, because we weren’t looking from Cam’s POV, we were looking through Daniel’s, the main character because was there when it happened. He even says the two would constantly fight, all the time, so loud that the entire village could hear them. I don’t find that romantic.

After this moment, Cam joins Lucifer and even self-harms because he’s so upset. He completely gives up on love. In unforgiven, it says he never moves on from her, and every time he felt something for another girl, he’d leave before it got too serious. Unforgiven is just about him going back to Lilith, who was also retconned.

First, am I suppose to be impressed that he never moved on? That he held on to this toxic ass relationship? I know the author has this thing for all of her characters, where they all devote themselves to one person, and that’s it.

For Daniel and Luce, that worked. For everyone else, it didn’t. Tess and Arriane were toxic. Roland gave up and kept walls up for thousands of years, and will never let anyone else it. So really, only Daniel and Luce got a happy ending. But we’ll get back into that in a moment.

Back to Lilith; we know Lilith was retconned because Daniel tells us that she was beautiful, but mean. She dumped Cam because of a church and verbally and physically abuses him, and has to be pulled off by Daniel. (Also why is Cam dating a teenager in high school anyway? Weirdo. Normalize immortals dating college girls and not minors)

We also know from Torment that Lilith had children, who (as she tells Cam in Passion) that she would curse all of her children to hate him, every female from her bloodline would hate him. And surprise! Torment, we meet Lilith, a direct descendant of Lilith who hates Cam, and she’s JUST as mean, as stated by Shelby, who said Lilith caught her hair on fire in middle school.

But in Unforgiven, after they retconned that scene with “OMG NO, cam made that up!1!1!” Lilith ends up committing suicide because she was so heartbroken by Cam leaving her. She dies in her wedding dress.

How did she manage to have kids if that scene never happened? Why do they hate Cam, if he just imagined that scene? Why does Daniel mention it, and pretty clearly makes it obvious he didn’t like Lilith.

I don’t like Unforgiven, because it was retconned and changed the canon; it doesn’t make sense, and I hate that cam went back to a toxic relationship. Like, she STILL hates him in the book; they fight every chapter, and it takes place in 15 days. That’s a lot of fucking fighting. That’s not healthy. That’s not love.

It’s not uncommon that people cling to their first love, even if it’s toxic, because they don’t want to see the red flags. They want to believe in love; and Cam is so naive, and it’s his first love ever, so of course he’d cling to it. She yelled in his face, they fought all the time, she held him down, which is domestic and emotional abuse. She degraded him. And he goes back to her in Unforgiven.

The author loves this toxic relationship and I don’t know why. It’s like none of her characters can move on from their first loves. Lucifer is still obsessed with Lucinda, Daniel is obsessed with Lucinda, Arriane never gets over Tess, Roland never gets over Roseline, and Cam never gets over Lilith.

Everyone, except Daniel, gives up on love. And it’s like Daniel gets rewarded with that by ending up with Lucinda, but no one else gets a happy ending. The author has this idea of first love and devotion being romantic.

She basically gives Cam this cliche, making-a-bet trope, and with the devil, of course; and it’s just him trying to get Lilith to love him? And he changes for her, because yknow, that’s all women are good for. Changing bad men into good men. (Insert dramatic eye roll here)

His story should’ve been about forgiving himself, loving HIMSELF, and moving past this trauma. It should’ve been about him learning to love again, and letting go of the past. It should’ve been about healing, and he could’ve found a love interest too; someone who understands him and helps him heal, not change but heal, and accepts him for who, and what, he is. He deserves a healthy love that doesn’t fight with him constantly.

But let’s look at the canon now. It ends with them leaving Hell, because they won. Now what. It’s left on a cliff hanger, because no one wants to face the inevitable: their relationship is doomed.

Lilith has been in Hell for seven thousand years. Her recent life, the only life she currently knows, she left behind. Her brother, her mother, her friends, everything she knows. She’ll go to the modern world, which she’s never been in. She won’t know any of the world’s history, she won’t know the music, or technology, or anything about it. She will be a fish out of water, an outcast. She’ll definitely struggle to fit in, and this will most likely cause fights between them. She’ll resent Cam. She won’t be able to have a life, because where does she fit in with the new world? Without friends? Without her family? Lilith will struggle with the idea that Cam won’t age, and she will, because that’s who Lilith is. Sure, the angels and Nephilim will help her, we assume; but she’ll crave human companionship; but she wouldn’t even know where to start. Does she go to college, where she doesn’t know anything? I doubt the Devil was teaching her basic school stuff during her time in Hell; (a lazy author would say he was, but we know he’s an asshole in the series, and canonically, he wouldn’t.) so where does that leave them? Cam is her only friend? I can only imagine how many fights that will cause

She has a temper, like seriously bad, there’s no way her and Cam will work out; which what happens then? Even if they do work out, cam never learned to love anyone besides her. He still ends up alone, and giving up on love. She never gets ANY character development at all. She never worked on her temper, which seems like a generational curse. I also hate that we get ZERO backstory on Cam. I want to know his story! How HE felt about The Fall, things he’s done, how he got so good at traveling through Announcers, seeing his powers as an Archangel, and just being introduced into more characters. Or like Lucifer, I wanted more about their bond. Like the tattoo on Cam’s neck, and the night he joined Lucifer’s side. This book was about Lilith, not Cam; I don’t even like Lilith.

I’m just unhappy with the book. I love the author, and the characters, but I definitely think she dropped the ball with Unforgiven. Cam’s story let me down.

Let’s talk about Fallen in Love, which is a short story about how all of the previously mentioned characters got their hearts broken.

Let’s start with Cam, because it’ll be short; because I’ve already talked about him.

We find Cam, who just got dumped by Lilith, self-harming under a waterfall. Water is deadly to Angels wings, so where is he? Laying underneath a waterfall, as it “brutalizes” his body. His body is one big purple bruise, and his wings are bleeding. He’s joined Lucifer’s side and became a demon, because he’s spiraling after the breakup. He had given up on love.

Clearly this scene broke my heart. I hate that we get this scene, just to know he gets back with Lilith. It sickens me.

He proceeds to lash out at Roland, who then also gives up on love.

Roland’s story is that he’s a POC, always has been, and he feels comfortable in his skin. Roseline is a beautiful, blond rich girl who takes a liking to him. She’s human. They’re in love. She’s the only person who didn’t see him for the color of his skin, and for who he was inside. He wants to be with her, but he’s afraid because he’s a demon, and immortal. After going to Cam, who will convince him not to ever love humans, because they can’t be married in churches, and because they’ll never love him if they find out what they are; Roland will go to Roseline, and leave her. He’ll put up walls, and never let anyone else in again. He literally says this. (Also why a white girl?? Especially during that time? We’ve seen Roland as a slave, it would’ve been nice seeing him advocating for his people, or doing something. Imagine him dating a pretty biracial girl, or any POC girl, leading a BLM rally in 2021 😩 him dating a rich white girl feels weird to me)

Arriane’s story is that she in an Angel who is in love with a demon named Tess. Lucifer doesn’t want any of the demons to date (because yknow he got dumped by Luce, so he punished everyone else. Very cliché villain motives) so Lucifer tells Tess that she can’t be with Arriane, unless she can convince her to join the demons. Tess relays this message to Arriane, but Arriane politely explains that she can’t, and won’t. I respect her decision, because it IS her decision. She decides that she has to break up with Tess, who then fucking assaults her. She starts hitting Arriane, and causing her to bleed, and literally has the audacity to say it’s “for love” and because she’s showing her that how hard she would “fight” for their love.

Uh no, honey. You’re just physically assaulting your girlfriend. That’s not love. Please stop.

So naturally, Arriane breaks up with her and leaves. She then gets a bad feeling and returns to find Tess mutilating her fucking wings, and basically committing suicide, because “if she can’t have Arriane, she wants nothing at all.”

Which is so manipulative, and so fucked up, and so unhealthy. So Arriane tries to save her, which ends up getting her seriously injured, and she ends up having to leave after telling Tess, “I love you and will never love another.” And leaves. And guess what? She never loves another. Never even tries.

But all three of these characters say they believe in love, and fight for Daniel and Luce’s love, but gives up on their own??? How is that fair?? It’s like Daniel and Luce are the only ones who get to be happy.

Cam goes back to a toxic relationship.

And Roland and Arriane end up alone.

And let’s just rip on Daniel for a second. This man is so self-absorbed to see his friends suffering and doesn’t care. Cam gets his heart broken, and what does he do? “Why don’t you just tell her?” Bro, that’s his decision. And then brings up Lucinda as if to rub it in his face. When Cam said, “I’m lonely,” that made me so heartbroken. His relationship and favorite brother made him feel alone. I never said, “I WAS lonely,” he used current tense, meaning even with Lilith, he felt lonely, and those are the worst relationships. Daniel also doesn’t cry about Gabbe and Molly sacrificing themselves for his story. He doesn’t thank any of his friends for helping, he even says it was “expected” of them. He’s a terrible friend who only cared about Luce.

Bruh. So what’s the moral of the story here? I seriously can’t figure it out. Stay devoted to your first love? Love is impossible? There’s no underlying meaning, or moral here. There’s no lesson to be learned.

All three of the previously mentioned characters deserve their own book, on overcoming their individual traumas and heartbreaks. Why are we perpetuating this idea that people should stay with their first love??? It’s not uncommon that people mistake their first love, which is usually just infatuation, or lust, or obsession, with love.

But love is gentle. Love is kind. Love is understanding, and patient. Love doesn’t yell at you, love doesn’t hit you. Love doesn’t manipulate you. Love doesn’t own you. Love isn’t apathetic, love is empathetic.

It’s okay not to work out with your first love. If at first you don’t succeed, try again! And again, and again. But you can’t love someone else, if you can’t even love yourself. Until you accept your own flaws, you’re not going to be happy with someone else.

All of these characters need to learn to love themselves first, and look for the love within themselves. They were all so obsessed with the idea of being in love, that they ignored all of the red flags. They all wanted a love like Daniel and Luce’s, but fail to realize that no two relationships are the same. Love is unique. It’s different for everyone. You shouldn’t compare your love to someone else’s, nor to love you had before. Never compare.

Not to your friends’ relationship, or your past relationship, or you’ll never succeed. It would be so great to see these characters forgive their past, and move forward, to move on. In breaking up, you learn so much about yourself. What you can handle, how strong you are, how capable you are, you learn your flaws, and what you can change about yourself, and most importantly, you learn what love isn’t.

All of this is to prepare you for your next relationship. Love should nourish you, it should help you grow, you should learn from it, and be happy, most of all.

And not just romantic love, but platonic and self-love too; which is what the three of them need. I would’ve love to see them coming together again, and see them being friends with Shelby and Miles still. I’m not impressed that they’re still dedicated and devoted to their exes. I think they’re holding themselves back, and preventing themselves from being happy. I absolutely am not impressed, I don’t admire it. I think it’s unhealthy and perpetuates toxic relationships and mindsets.

They’re immortals, and they’ve chosen to spend eternity alone. Even if Lilith loves Cam, when she dies, he’ll never move in after her; because he never learned how to love anyone else. He doesn’t want to.

I want them to experience real love, not fabricated, romanticized ideals of love; but real, happy, fun, love. It’s not always easy, it’s going to hurt, but it’s worth it.

I want them all to find someone who loves them for them, and brings out the best in them. Someone who encourages them to find love, even after they’re gone. They deserve to have so many epic loves.

Love is hope. Love is also betrayal. Yes you’ll get your heartbroken, but don’t ever give up. Love is worth it, above all. There are so many novels, and quotes that I’d love to add, but this is just a rant no one will see, that I just needed to get off my chest, lol.

#fallen rants

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softyoongiionly · 4 years ago

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Portraits of a Tiger || 04

Legends of a great and equally terrifying warrior nicknamed the Tiger have been emerging from your fellow villagers for quite sometime. Stories of his skill, his stealth and his supposed wickedness have been passed around to the point where he is more prophecy than person. You have lived your life with a strong sense of conviction, rarely letting gossip influence your opinion. However, you would be lying if you said that his legacy didn’t intrigue you. When the Tiger and his infamous army arrive in your village to refuel, you come face to face with the man behind the myth.

And no amount of marketplace gossip would ever be enough to capture the true complexity of his nature.

Pairing: Merchant! Reader x Warrior! Yoongi

Genre: Adventure, Romance, Smut (later), Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: language, depictions of violence both verbal and physical however they are fairly mild, mentions of war and power dynamics, there will be smut in future parts so, (18+ only please).

A/N: ahhh yes romance is in the air lads. I hope you like this new part!!! I’m having so much fun writing this series for you guys :) LOVE YOUUUUU

As always, a HUGE shoutout to my beautiful friend Rachel @bulletproofbirdy for her assistance with this fic. I love you sm and I hope you especially like what I’ve done with the place >:)

It’s been a few days.

Nothing of substance has happened since the night you kissed Yoongi by the river other than a clear shift in your relationship with him.

He doesn’t treat you differently in front of the patrons at the market nor does he spare more than a glance your way when you’re delivering bread.

But every night, without fail: you meet by the river.

You speak about things that seem too heavy for the daylight: war, peace, hope, loss...

He listens to your thoughts and offers many of his own but the night always ends with his lips on yours.

His hands moving across your body as if he’s trying to learn every inch of you.

Whilst you’d happily have him against a tree or down on the mushy floor of the riverbed, Yoongi always stops things before they go to far.

He whispers promises of a night without boundaries in a place you both can call your own.

He tells you that when the time is right, he will give you everything you deserve and more.

You agree with him despite the desire that rages in your body.

You know it’s best to wait until things are more concrete between the two of you.

So you part ways every time and spend the rest of the night longing for one another until sleep finally offers you momentary peace.

Until the dreams begin...

Today however, you are concerned with someone else’s dreams.

Namely, your dear friend, your original confident, the smartest gal in the world: Rachel.

After your first rendezvous with Yoongi, you had rushed over to her home and spent the better half of the night gushing about the kiss.

Of course, she had been over the moon for you and the two of you had jumped around her living room like a bunch of excited schoolgirls.

However, towards the end of the conversation, particularly when Jungkook’s name was brought up she had grown slightly somber.

Although their interaction had been brief, the chemistry was palpable and as much you had faith in your friend’s abilities, you didn’t foresee her making a move on him.

So- you have decided to take matters into your own hands.

With a basket full of fresh bread, you walk down the dirt path towards their camp to begin the initial phase of your plan.

It was unlike the members to be absent from the fields surrounding their tents but, you presume it’s because training had concluded for the day.

You expected to see Namjoon out on their bench cribbling in his journal but, there is no one to be found.

There is a bit of anxiety that comes over you as thoughts creep in of the day that this area truly is abandoned.

The day Yoongi and his battalion move on.

Deep in your gut, dread begins to grow but you force yourself to take a deep breath and focus on the objective at hand.

You tug the bell to signal your arrival expecting Seokjin’s boisterous presence to greet you but, instead you hear a bit of shuffling before a hand slips out between the cloth to tug open the entrance.

Immediately, your heart ignites in a fit within your chest at the sight before you.

Yoongi stands there, body completely rid of his normal attire, with only a pair of tight-fitting long johns adorning his figure.

His hair is out of his usual updo and pushed away from his face, long platinum tendrils cascading down his strong chest.

“Oh- hi...” You cough as the tone of your voice is audibly strained.

He smirks, his eyes lighting up as he sees you, “Good evening. Delivery?”

A jagged nod comes from you as you extend the basket towards him, “Yes. Here you go, I added some-”

Yoongi’s lips are on yours then, interrupting your sentence, one of his hands taking the basket whilst his other hand settles on your cheek.

As usual, his lips eliminate any thought in your head unrelated to him, your body going slightly limp beneath his touch.

He lingers for a moment before pulling away, his brown eyes sparkling with satisfaction.

“This color is beautiful on you.” He murmurs nodding to your dress and pecking your lips once more, “did you make this?”

You smile, licking the taste of him off your lips, “Thank you. My mom made it for me last spring.”

He grins, “She’s very talented.” He lifts the basket, “This is a wonderful thing to wake up to, my men are going to destroy it.”

You giggle, raising your brows, “Late night?”

“Very. We were out until sunrise.” He explains, “Much of our training is nocturnal and the forests around here allowed us to teach the new recruits some important skills; we all slept a little later than I anticipated...” He chuckles sheepishly, glancing behind him before his eyes fall upon you once more, “It’s nice seeing you in the daylight.”

You giggle, “Is it? That’s a relief, I feared that maybe the moonlight and the beauty of the river was what kept you coming back every night...”

Yoongi’s lips twitch as he adjusts the basket on his arm, “I think you know very well what keeps me coming back.”

Before you can offer another flirtatious quip, a ball of fluffy black hair shoves its way through the opening of the tent.

It’s Jungkook and he looks as though he hasn’t been awake for more than 30 seconds.

“Hyung- is the bread...” He mumbles sleepily before his eyes widen as they spot you, “Oh- I’m sorry...” He bows his head, “I didn’t mean to interrupt. Good uh...” He squints up at the sky, his lips pouted slightly, “Good evening Y/N.”

You bow your head, offering a smile, “Good evening. You didn’t interrupt at all, I was actually looking to speak with you when you have time. I know you’ve just woken up so, I can come back later...”

Jungkook’s cheeks heat up involuntarily as he steps behind Yoongi a little more, “Alone?”

Yoongi eyes you curiously, “What do you want with the boy?”

He chuckles at his younger brother who looks both intrigued and frightened all at once.

“We don't have to be alone.” You assure him, a bit of laughter leaving your lips, “It’s about my friend-”

“Rachel?” He assumes, wide-eyed, “Is she ok?”

You smirk knowingly, “She is. I was actually going to inquire whether or not you were interested in her but, I think I have my answer.”

“Ah- “ Yoongi interjects, looking at you pointedly, “You’re here to play matchmaker for my little brother?” He looks amused, his deep gaze boring into your own as he speaks again, “Don’t you have your hands full with another endeavor?”

The depth in his tone sends a bit of electricity up your spine and, you’re thankful that Jungkook doesn’t pick up on the bit of suggestion in his voice.

He’s hung up on your reply and aching to know more.

So timidly he says, “Is she- maybe...interested in me?”

Averting your gaze away from Yoongi, you nod towards Jungkook, “I have a feeling she’s more than interested. However, she is incredibly stubborn and refuses to acknowledge the way you look at her. So naturally-” You gesture to yourself fluidly, “I decided to come here and ask you myself.”

“Naturally.” Yoongi agrees, his lips twitching, “Well, I don’t want to intrude on your plan so-”

As he tries to retreat back into the tent, you stop him with a raised hand, “Actually. I need your help after I speak with Jungkook so, don’t go far.”

Yoongi chuckles, shaking his head, “You’re aware that I oversee a battalion of 20,000 men, correct?”

With a shrug, you gesture for Jungkook to come closer before throwing an incredulous look Yoongi’s way, “Romance waits for no one...”

“Neither does war.” He retorts with a smirk.

"In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.” You remind him, quoting a famous war strategist, “It won’t take long anyhow, plenty of time to return to your post, General.”

Jungkook, who has been zoning out for the last minute or so raises his brows at your tone, his lips parting in curiosity and glancing towards Yoongi.

He doesn’t hear people quarrel with Yoongi often, even if they are joking so, hearing you speak so candidly to him causes him to wonder just how close the two of you have gotten.

If Yoongi is impressed by your knowledge, he doesn’t show it. But what he does do is raise his brows whilst his teeth secure themselves to his bottom lip.

“Make it quick.” He insists sharply despite the excitement dancing through his gaze.

Before you have the opportunity to respond, he disappears behind the curtain, leaving you alone with Jungkook.

“Hyung must really like you...” He observes softly, pursing his lips, “He isn’t the type to joke around with new people.”

Stifling a smirk, you shrug and gesture to the bench in front of their tent, “That’s a shame. Your hyung has quite the sense of humor. Now- I know you don’t have a lot of time, so I’ll make this quick.” You begin as the two of you sit, “Normally I’d like to approach a situation like this with a bit more class but to be frank, you won’t be in town long and after the way I saw you looking at Rachel, I don’t think you’ll mind my intervention.”

Jungkook blushes, his fingers coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear, “Ke-Keep your voice down, I don’t want my hyungs to hear about this...” He pleads, “They’ll tease me relentlessly.”

You allow yourself the grin now, admiring how shy he is but you concede not wanting to embarrass him.

“Do you not want them to know you’re courting someone?”

He shakes his head, “No I just don’t want them to know until I speak with her first. I know you say she’s interested but- I'd still like to hear it from her. My hyungs will pester me about it constantly and if she ends up rejecting me, I don’t really want to be reminded about it.”

“I understand.” You concede, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’m sure I’ve never seen her behave this way around a man before. It’s unlikely she will reject you...”

“Still-” He insists, the color on his cheeks deepening, “it's possible. I never assume people’s opinions of me.”

It’s very odd, you think, here is this fine specimen before you: handsome, experienced, talented, respected and yet- he doesn’t seem to see himself that way.

Sounds a lot like someone else you know...

“That’s probably best.” You smile, warming up to him rather quickly, “You are interested in her though, aren’t you?”

He bites his bottom lip in thought before nodding, a bit of shyness in his eyes, “I am yes. Though I’m not totally sure how you figured it out based on our limited interaction. I’ve only spoken to her once- and I made a fool of myself.”

You giggle, “Yes but, you saw her for the first time in the plaza, didn’t you? She stopped you right in your tracks.”

His toffee orbs widen, “How did you-?"

A smirk comes over your mouth as you once again shrug at his question, “My job requires me to be very observant.” You reply, “People often say more with their movements than their words.”

“Hey!” He grins, showing off his perfect teeth, “I think that too! Well- that's something Yoongi-hyung taught me. I’m trying to get better at it but, I find it harder to observe people I don’t know. Strangers make me nervous...”

His sudden warmth makes you happy as you didn’t really expect him to be this bubbly but, you’re happy he’s comfortable with you given your intentions behind this conversation.

If he’s courting your friend, he’s courting you too.

“You could have fooled me.” You retort, “I saw the way you handled the clan leader...when I came by your tent, I was anticipating on meeting someone very different.”

Jungkook chuckles, “I get that a lot. I rarely live up to people’s expectations of me- I think that’s one of my strong suits. Aside from my brute strength obviously.”

“Yes of course, we mustn't forget about that...” You concede, laughing lightly along with him, “So back to Rachel then- you plan on courting her yes?”

He shifts on the bench, his tan fingers coming up to adjust his peasant blouse, shyness returning to his features, “I would love to. She-” He pauses, looking away from you, his eyes deepening in thought, “Aish...she really is something isn't she?”

At his question, you smirk and allow warmth to fill your chest, “Now where have I heard that before.” You muse allowed, “I could facilitate a meeting between the two of you? Although- I will likely have to tell a teensy white lie because, if I warn her that you wish to meet with her- she would probably combust on the spot. Also, I doubt she would believe me...”

He smirks fondly, nibbling on the inside of his cheek before his brows furrow, “Why wouldn’t she believe you? She must know how desirable she is right?”

“Certainly not. She has no idea. Which is why I finally decided to take matters into my own hands.” You explain, propping your chin on the palm of your hand, “Rachel is a brilliant woman. She could easily run a small country if the opportunity was presented to her but, she has no concept of how wonderful she is.”

Jungkook pouts his lips, “I was certain she knew. How could someone that beautiful not understand their own beauty?”

You raise your brows, “Do you recognize yourself as desirable?”

He snickers, “Don’t be silly. I might be a suitable partner because of my status as a warrior but, I don’t think there is much else I have to offer. That’s what has me so worried...what if you’re wrong about her desire for me?”

With an incredulous look, you shake your head in disbelief, “The two of you amaze me. You’re so brilliant and yet- so foolish at the same time. I assure you; you have plenty to offer. The women in this village nearly faint every time you pass- quite frankly, you are incredibly handsome with an unusual amount of talent and-”

Jungkook is smirking, pleased with your response as he interrupts you, “I thought you were interested in my hyung Y/N-” He teases and snickers as you roll your eyes.

“That is neither here nor there.” You insist, “The point is, the courtship is worth pursuing because I believe it will go well. So I came here to suggest a plan...”

“What is your plan dear matchmaker?” He chuckles, folding his hands and resting them on the table.

“My plannnn is-” You draw out the word before leaning in closely and divulging your ideas.

You are elated when he agrees and feel slightly giddy at the thought of your dear friend meeting up with the potential love of her life.

Romance certainly is in the air.

The plan is set in motion after a few more moments of talking and the conversation ends with Jungkook eagerly rushing back to his tent to prepare.

Feeling satisfied with your healthy dose of meddling, you brush your dress off and start towards the exit of the camp.

However, the deep voice of your suitor stops you in your tracks, sending butterflies directly into your stomach.

“Leaving without a goodbye?” Yoongi calls softly, departing from his tent.

You turn with a smile on your face to see him fully dressed in his training attire: fitted black pants and a matching tunic, his sword strapped faithfully to his hip.

“I figured I caused enough havoc amongst your battalion today. Besides, I wasn’t sure if you’d be dressed and I didn’t want to disturb you.” You explain, your hands sliding down to play with the fabric of your dress.

“If havoc is putting a ridiculous smile on my brothers face than please feel free to wreak havoc anytime you wish. I have dreaded the day where I’d have to convince him to go after his potential partner and you’ve gone and lifted that responsibility from me.” He explains, stepping towards you a bit more “He says his meeting with her tomorrow evening?”

“If all goes well.” You reply, your face heating up in light of his presence, “My plans usually play out successfully.”

“I have no doubts about that.” He chuckles, his feline gaze glancing behind you momentarily before returning back to your face, “Will I be seeing you tonight?”

Pretending to toy with the idea, you narrow your eyes and place a finger on your chin, “I suppose its possible, if you aren’t too busy with your duties here...”

“My duties?” He places a hand on his chest, stepping closer to you once again, “If anyone were to be tied up with their duties, I imagine it would be you. Being a full-time apothecary is enough but, now you’ve gone and taken up matchmaking as well.” Yoongi’s eyes glint as he stares at you, “You never have to concern yourself with whether or not I’ll have time for you...”

You resist the urge to throw yourself at him, frustrated by the effect he has on you.

“Then I suppose you will see me then.”

He grins, “Good.”

For a few seconds, the two of you stew in silence before the need to kiss him becomes too much to bear and you take the steps necessary to wrap your arms behind his neck and place your lips against him.

You can hear his sharp intake of breath as you do, his hands securing themselves at the base of your back.

The movements of the kiss escalate quickly, and you find yourself forgetting that you’re stood in the middle of a military camp, where anyone could walk out and see you both canoodling in the courtyard.

Yoongi seems to realize this too as he pulls away with heavy breath and hesitation all over his face.

“My my my...” He murmurs, shaking his head, “You really have no regard for my well-being do you?”

His light scolding causes you to giggle which in turn breaks the disapproving expression on his face.

“I’m trying to improve your well-being actually.” You insist, your fingers toying with the tendrils of hair at the back of his head, a dreamy smile on your mouth.

He raises his brows, “Oh? How do you figure that?”

Before you can reply, the rustling coming from behind Yoongi pulls you out of your conversation.

The rest of his battalion have seemingly woken up and are beginning to flock to the courtyard in preparation for their training.

Glancing behind him, Yoongi sighs before turning back to you reluctantly, “Tonight?”

You offer him a smile and step back out of his grip, “Tonight.”

He takes your hand and brings it to his lips, placing a kiss on the back of it before heading off to his men.

Tonight now seemed a century away despite the fact that the sun was already heading off towards the horizon.

-The next day-

Your night with Yoongi followed the similar structure that it usually does.

Deeping meaningful conversation, playful banter, difficult questions and well, a healthy dose of unresolved lust.

He asserts the end to your displays of affection every time, offering the same words of comfort.

You’re fine with this of course.

You’d never want him to do anything he didn’t want to do, and you’d certainly want the first time you were intimate to be special.

However, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling dejected.

It’s not because Yoongi says it’s not the right time or that he doesn’t think the two of you were ready.

You respect him and his choices completely and would never attempt to coerce him beyond his initial responses but...

You are beginning to feel alone in your desire for him.

For you, there has never been another to ignite such a powerful response within you.

You’ve never wanted anyone so badly.

It makes you feel insane and yet, here he is, so calm in his demeanor and easily able to refuse any opportunity to sate your hunger for one another.

It’s very silly, you think, he is clearly interested in you.

He makes that very obvious.

And yet, you can’t help but feel confusion.

He wouldn’t be in your village for much longer and soon enough you’d have to say goodbye for a length of time you’d rather not assign numerical value you to.

You wish you understood his intentions more and at the same time, you wish you were able to quell your desire for him.

You did feel alone in that way.

Yoongi was an incredible, multi-faceted man with seemingly thousands of years’ worth of knowledge behind his eyes. He was open and yet so secretive all at once and because of that, you couldn’t understand why he behaved this way.

The two of you would intentionally rile each other up only for him to put a stop to things every time.

But it’s almost as if this was part of his plans with you all along.

And you just couldn’t understand why.

So naturally, you end up running to the person who always keeps you grounded for advice: Rachel.

Although, after your conversation with Jungkook yesterday, you have multiple reasons for paying your friend a visit.

“He stopped things again before they went too far and-“ You sigh, looking down at her hands that secure a warm mug of tea, “I feel a little strange about it. I’m starting to feel like maybe he doesn’t desire me the way I desire him...”

Rachel is sat across from you on her sofa as she usually is, her legs tucked up on the cushion.

She takes a sip of her tea before her brows furrow in disagreement as she shakes her head, “I sincerely doubt that. He was very, um...excited wasn’t he?”

He was, you think, and he usually is but that only adds to your confusion.

“I don’t know...” You groan, “...he says he is but- he keeps saying it’s not the right time. I’m worried I may be too lustful towards him; I’m wondering if it’s off putting.”

“He does not seem the type to play games. If he says it’s not the right time...he must have a right time in mind?” She suggests before looking at you pointedly, “And I don’t believe you are being lustful. Even if you were, what’s wrong with that”

Nothing.

Nothing is wrong with being lustful as long as you are being respectful which you can honestly say you are but, the insecurity you’re feeling is contributing to a bit of shame within you.

“I’ve never wanted anyone this way, I feel like I’m going mad. He seems so calm and collected and yet- here I am, flustered and confused. I’m used to having a handle on my emotions I guess and I wish I knew how he was able to keep himself so composed.” You ponder the end of her question, “There is nothing wrong with being lustful. I just don’t know if he feels the same if it’s so easy for him to control himself around me...”

Rachel nods along, her bright eyes listening intently before she pauses to think, “You know, you have to remember he is a ten-year veteran and the leader of the most elite military force in our country. He has so much control and discipline applied to himself in all areas, I can’t imagine he would be able to easily relinquish that control. Especially with someone he has so much affection for. I am certain it is not easy, merely well-practiced”

She has a point but then again, she usually does.

You bite your lip, turning your attention to the fabric of the chair, picking at it, “You’re right. I suppose I’m being a little immature about this...I should just be more patient.”

It’s decided in your mind that you should move on to the other reason you came to visit her this evening: a deceitful conversation with a much happier ending.

“By the way, what are you doing this evening?”

She’s stood up now and striding over to the kitchen, rubbing your arm as she passes you, “You are not immature at all! I’m confident your general is worth the patience.” She assures you with a wink before she thinks to herself once again, “I don’t have anything in particular planned, why do you ask?”

You giggle at her wink and follow her with your eyes as she heads over to make herself another cup of tea, “I have a favor to ask you- that goes beyond our mutual agreement to keep each other sane.”

Rachel snickers and shakes her head, “I don’t know if there is much hope for our sanity but what do you need?”

You smile but it doesn’t totally reach your eyes, your mind annoyingly still occupied elsewhere, “You make a good point.” You concede before brightening your expression intentionally, “I had a customer today that inquired about the type of material the village school covers for children ages 3-5. They are considering enrolling their child this year and wanted to speak with a teacher. I was hoping you would be able to meet with them? I told them to stop by the school and speak with someone but I was hoping that someone could be you because you’re so experienced.”

Rachel brightens at the mention of a new student “Oh really? I would be happy to meet with them! At that it’s primarily playing games, reading stories and singing songs but I have a lovely little bunch of students that age already!” She cheers, clapping in front of her chest, excitedly.

Her joy is infectious, and you can’t help but grin despite your knowledge that she would certainly not be receiving a new student; you almost wish that she was though.

“Great! Well they should be around right before sundown. I gave them your classroom number and a bit of background on you and the school.”

“Oh my goodness! That’s not far off...well I have to bring in the dried flowers for tomorrow’s art lesson anyway...oh and where did I put the new wax pencils. Did you see where I put them?” Rachel abandons her cup of tea on the counter and begins puttering around in the baskets on her kitchen table, completely distracted.

You spot what she’s looking for and hold up set of pencils setting on the end table, “They’re right here..” You call, turning in the chair to hand them to her, “I would wear that blue dress of yours too, it’s very complimentary.” With this suggestion, you can’t help the glint in your eyes that shines through the bit of sadness still present there, “Well- thank you for your words of wisdom. I’m probably going to take a break from the river tonight, so I’ll be home if you need me for anything. I have no doubt that tonight will go wonderfully though...”

“Oh there they are!” She chirps, taking them from you before looking down at her current outfit, “I suppose I should change, I certainly look a bit of a mess...” She pauses then to look you, noticing the glimpse of sadness in your eyes. “Don’t hold yourself back from love, Y/N. Your general is certainly just as passionate about you. I would bet all the gold in the kingdom on it!”

The excitement and certainty in her tone is almost enough to pull you out of your funk but, the stubborn naysayer in your head has different plans.

“No you don’t, you look wonderful! I just love the blue one on you.” You insist, before crossing your arms and slumping back against the chair, “I am not holding back, I’m just- trying to be reasonable I suppose. His passion is clearly controlled, and I guess I should work on controlling mine as well...” You explain matter of factly with a pout on your lips.

Rachel matches your pose as she steps around the chair to look directly at you, unconvinced, “Mmhmm. Perfectly reasonable.” She drawls sarcastically before chuckling when you attempt to kick your foot at her.

“I am!” You assert, trying to hold back a smile, “I’m just some silly little girl fawning over the man of my dreams while he gets to CALMLY walk away like us canoodling against a tree doesn’t affect him- and I feel foolish for desiring him so much when he’s able to do so.”

Rachel lets out a cackle your display of frustration. “You are NOT a silly little girl. A silly grown woman? Maybe," She giggles, “but I am CERTAIN he wouldn’t have to address this “right time” so often if he didn’t desire you. Do what makes you feel powerful! But don’t play games with the poor Tiger’s heart needlessly...from what you have said he is a much gentler man than we’ve given him credit for. “Though,” She tilts her head, her hand coming up to fuss with her hair, “you certainly shouldn’t seek advice from me. I spent the day with paste in my hair without realizing.”

Your pout deepens, “I would never play with his heart... I’m going insane with desire over here and he gets to be all collected like ‘when the right time comes- I promise you it will be worth the wait’ and oh look at me, I’m extremely handsome and I can just kiss passionately for minutes on end without going further...” You grumble haphazardly before you hesitate slightly, “Well I’m not sure what him being handsome has to do with it but you get my point.” A smile threatens your features even more when she mentions her hair, “Paste is all the rage darling, you are simply fashion forward. Besides- I have a feeling this uh- new student of yours will look out for you.”

Rachel hugs herself as she laughs at your little outburst, “It has EVERYTHING to do with it! You know it does-” She accuses playfully, “I do get your point though. I’m certain you will meet again...and say what’s on your mind! You are much better at that than I am anyway.” Rachel’s face is full of hesitation then, shaking her head, “Most of my students “look out for me” by piling dandelions on my desk and leaving goopy handprints on my clothes...I hope this new student is sweet.”

A smirk plays on your lips then, dropping your other topic of conversation, “I’m sure they will be, their parents seemed nice enough...”

”Oh really?!? Do you know anything about them? Should I bring anything along? Are you sure they want to see me? Should I get going?!” She babbles excitedly, glancing towards her front door.

Her eagerness serves as your cue to head out, your stomach brewing with hunger, nerves and excitement.

You couldn’t wait to hear how tonight will go for her.

“It is almost sundown so I suppose I should get going...” You concedes with a sigh before offering her a genuine smile, patting her shoulder as you head towards the door, “Just bring your lovely self, they are very eager to meet you.”

“Okay, if you’re certain!” Rachel smiles, gathering a collection of dried flowers into a basket before heading for the door with you, “If you change your mind and go to the river after all YOU HAD BETTER TELL ME!”

“You look amazing-” You promise as you step past her through the doorway, “I have a feeling you’ll have more to tell me the next time we meet but I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

Rachel looks confused for a moment before merely shrugging it off, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek, “Okay then, I’m off! I love you ok? Hang in there...”

You embrace her shortly unable to help the growth in your smile, “I love you too. I wanna hear about the meeting tomorrow ok?”

She agrees happily, already bounding off towards the schoolhouse, a basket of flowers in her hand.

Despite the uncertainty you may feel about your own romantic life, you are filled with joy at the thought of your dear friend starting a fairytale of her own.

Even though she has absolutely no idea...

---------------------------------------

Rachel arrives at the schoolhouse just before sundown, using her master key to unlock the heavy oak door of the main entrance before heading off to her classroom.

The windows surrounding the exterior of the schoolyard allow for the different hues of the sunset to stream in thorough the glass, providing a beautiful stroll down the hallway.

Rachel feels optimistic as she opens up the door, immediately setting the basket of flowers on a nearby desk and lighting the various lanterns around the room.

The sun would be up for another half an hour or so but, Rachel was unsure as to how long this meeting would go so a little extra light wouldn’t hurt.

Since she doesn’t have a concrete time of arrival, she decides to busy herself with a bit of prep work and light cleaning for the next school day. She figures that if a parent were to walk in on her likes this, it might add to their overall impression of the school.

A teacher’s work is never done.

After roughly 40 minutes or so, Rachel is beginning to worry that this parent potentially changed their mind. That is until, a light knock sounds on the outside of her door.

“Come in!” She calls brightly, standing up from behind her desk.

She has no expectations for what her visitor might look like as she honestly hadn’t even considered it since you asked her this favor. However, the man who walks in through her door most certainly is not who she would have ever expected.

Because the man who just walked in, is Jungkook.

Tall, strong, doe-eyed, shaggy haired, WARRIOR Jungkook...

The terror cub himself has now found his way inside her classroom.

And she is both terribly confused and terribly excited all at once.

“Good evening,” She chokes out, smoothing her hands down the front of her dress, “Forgive me but- you're not the person I’m meant to meet with are you? Did you see any folks outside, looking a bit lost perhaps?”

Jungkook looks terrified but he steps inside nonetheless, one of his hands positioned awkwardly behind his back.

“Uh- Hi, I mean- Good evening mam...” He bows before her, “Um...” He shuffles forward a bit, his eyes scanning the room for a moment, “Heretheseareforyou.” Jungkook rushes out, shoving a bouquet of fresh daisies onto one of the empty desks, his eyes averting Rachel’s very confused expression, “I am the person you’re meant to meet actually...”

Rachel gasps to herself as she spots the daisies, her heart immediately picking up in her chest, “Oh! Oh goodness thank you, that’s very kind of you...” She smiles, her hands seemingly frozen in place at the front of her dress, “I’m- I’m so confused I apologize. Do you have children?”

He shakes his head, his floppy black hair following the motions. He is dressed in a pair of tan linen pants and a rather tight-fitting white peasant blouse, the golden expanse of his chest on full display, his feet tucked into a pair of leather boots. Rachel does her best to ignore how good he looks but, he makes it very difficult.

“No I don’t.” He answers, cringing slightly at the juvenile nature of this situation, “You know Y/N right?”

Rachel giggles, the sound a little higher pitched than usual, “I do yes. We’ve been friends since we were children...”

“Heh yeah, sorry I knew that but uh- so Y/N...” He begins, his hands coming up to assist in his explanation, “She paid me a visit earlier and suggested that...welll- She suggested that I pay you a visit.”

“Oh well- is everything alright? Are you in need of my assistance?” She inquires softly, her face decorated with concern.

Jungkook’s chest is filled with warmth at the sight of her unease, feeling very lucky to be the object of her concern.

“Everything’s ok I just- I wasn’t sure how to go about speaking with you.” He hesitates, feeling a bit of discomfort as he tries to find a way to explain his presence here, “I know you’re a very busy woman and I wasn’t even sure if you’d even want to speak with me which- by the way, if you’re uncomfortable with my presence, please let me know. I don’t want to be a bother...”

Rachel shakes her head instantly, her hands coming up to stop him from continuing that train of thought, “No- no not all! I mean-” She clears her throat, “You aren't a bother at all, I would love to speak with you. Although, forgive me- I'm a little confused as to what you’d like to speak about. Is it the school? Are you interested in meeting with the students?”

Jungkook grins softly and shakes his head, “No mam. I mean- I wouldn’t be opposed to meeting with them but, I am more interested in meeting with you...”

She gulps, her eyes widening a bit as she places a hand to her chest, “Me?”

He bites his lip and Rachel swears she sees a sparkle in his eyes as he steps closer to her.

“Yes mam. I uh-” His throat bobs with his own uncomfortable swallow as he shoves his hand in the pocket of his pants, pulling out a piece of crumbled parchment, “ I have travelled many miles. I have seen the mountains, the ocean and the forest. I have seen the sun in east and the moon in the west. I have seen the royal palace and all the riches it contains. I have seen all a man would need to see in his lifetime and yet, I have never felt complete until my eyes fell upon your face.”

Comically, Rachel’s mouth has fallen open, her face colored with shock.

Her heart seemingly freezes in her chest as Jungkook’s nervous gaze leaves the parchment and gazes up towards her.

“I wrote this when I was 17.” He begins sheepishly, “I promised myself that I would read it for the woman who captured my heart...”

Rachel inhales shakily, a slight sting in her eyes as emotion overcomes her.

“But you just read it to me...”

He chuckles warmly, his hand tucking a bit of hair behind his ear, “I did.”

“Am I-?” She begins but Jungkook cuts her off, stepping towards her a bit more.

“I know it’s a bit much isn’t it? I’ve never been very good with subtly and with my departure looming in the background, I couldn’t help but confess to you while I still had time. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and your existence makes me warm. I haven’t felt warmth like this before and I- I guess I just wanted to see if I had a chance at courting you...”

Rachel finally closes her mouth for a moment only to cover it with her hand.

She’s in complete disbelief that this is happening, but she responds nevertheless as best as she can.

“You- you have more than chance, you have a million chances I- oh wow, I feel a little faint goodness gracious...” She sighs, fanning herself as she leans against her desk, “I don’t understand...”

He rushes over to her then, a look of concern on his face, “Are you alright? Do you need some water or something?”

She shakes her head, letting out a shaky breath at the close proximity between them, immediately noticing the way he smells like amber and rosemary.

It warm, just like he is.

“I’m ok, I just-” She looks up at him, “I honestly cannot believe you feel this way about me. I’m just a schoolteacher, I probably have paste in my hair...and you’re a warrior I- I'm confused.”

Jungkook snickers, tilting his head to the side as he spots the bit of paste still clinging to the end of her hair. With gentle fingers, he reaches out and extracts the bit of dried gunk from her hair, discarding it on the desk, “You are not ‘just’ anything. You are bright and warm. Your duty lies with educating the children and I believe that to be far nobler than what I do. Please don’t sell yourself short, especially not on my account.”

Subconsciously, they seem to lean into one another, Rachel’s nerves dissipating slightly, “So then, you said you wish to court me yes? How- how do you intend we do this?”

He purses his lips, “Well,” He tilts his head to the side, “I would love to have dinner with you. I know that there aren’t many eateries in the village but-”

“I can cook for us!” She chirps happily cause his grin to broaden, “I know a spot we can eat, it’s really beautiful and it’s private for the most part.”

Jungkook is bursting with fondness, nodding eagerly at her suggestion before turning around to grab the flowers, “That sounds wonderful. Are you available tomorrow, same time?”

“Yes! I mean-” She clears her throat as the volume of her voice escapes her, “Yes, yes I’m free. I can meet you at the plaza?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll meet you anywhere you’d like...” He nods and haphazardly pushes the flowers in her direction, “Here, I picked these for you. I’ll pick more tomorrow as well- do you have a favorite? I hope daisies were alright...I’m not familiar with the flora around here.”

She smiles brightly, accepting the flowers graciously, securing them to your chest, “These are perfect! I love wildflowers, really anything that grows along the east part of the river...” She muses thoughtfully, “Daisies are some of my favorites as well. I’m sure Y/N told you that though...” She giggles but Jungkook shakes his head.

“She didn’t actually. I suppose it was just a lucky guess.” He smiles before stepping back slightly, fiddling with his hands now that they are empty, “So tomorrow then?”

With another rapid nod she responds, “Yes, tomorrow.”

“Great! Well uh-” He hesitates, glancing longingly towards her lips before extending his hand, “May I?”

With a harsh swallow and a shaky hand, she obliges, sticking her hand out towards his.

As if she were made of glass, Jungkook carefully raises her hand to his lips before placing a chaste kiss over the ridges of her knuckles, “Until tomorrow...”

“Until tomorrow.” She squeaks, covering her mouth once more.

He bows his head, offering another devastating grin before leaving the classroom.

With a hefty sigh, Rachel stares at the door in disbelief.

“It seems as though my dear friend isn’t an apothecary but a criminal mastermind...” She muses to herself, her cheeks on fire as she giggles to herself, “Huh, you think you know people.”

-------------------------

You decided shortly after your meeting with Rachel that you would in fact be going to the river because, regardless of your uncertainty: you still wanted to see Yoongi.

“Something is troubling you...” He notes the moment he steps out from behind the trees, dressed down in a pair of black pants and a longer gray linen robe to ward of the slight chill in the air.

“What makes you say that?” You challenge with a grin, your heart fluttering as soon as you see him, “I’m just hoping my plan is playing out as I’d hoped...”

“Ah-” He lifts a finger, “I recall you saying that your plans play out relatively well. Also, you and I both know that my brother and your friend are smitten over one another so- I find it hard to believe your thinking so hard about a clear victory.”

You bite your lip, unsure of what to say next as Yoongi has so clearly seen right through you.

“We don’t get much time together; it would be a waste to spend it discussing the internal monologue going on inside my head.” You joke, stepping towards him.

He clicks his tongue, “Now see- that is where you’re wrong. It was your internal monologue and your resulting opinions that drew me to visit you in the first place. The other talents your lips have are merely a bonus.” He smirks but his eyes hold some degree of concern, “I want to know what’s on your mind Y/N...no matter how insignificant you may find it.”

Yoongi’s sincerity draws you out of your shell, your heart picking up slightly at the thought of discussing your feelings.

“It’s silly...” You warn him causing him to chuckle.

“Good, I could use a bit of silliness after today.” He promises with a grin but his laughter dissipates as he notices even the slightest bit of distress on your face, “Your thoughts aren’t silly Y/N, at least not to me. I’d really like to hear what you’re thinking.”

Gnawing on your bottom lip, you take a deep breath and muster up the courage to be honest with him, “What are your intentions with me?”

He tilts his head, stepping closer to you after your question, face decorated with curiosity, “Which intentions are you referring to?”

You feel yourself growing nervous under his gaze but, you stay strong anyway and push through, “All of them- I suppose. It’s just that, I’m having difficulty...I’m-”

The hesitation in your features concerns Yoongi and he can’t help but quell the distance between you, taking your hands gently in his own.

“My girl- what's troubling you like this? Have I upset you?”

He’s tilting his head, trying to find your gaze as you look down at where your hands are connected.

His question causes you to look up at him, lips parted as you shake your head.

“No, no of course not.” You assure him, entwining your fingers with his, “I just- oh I promise you it’s going to sound silly...”

Yoongi chuckles incredulously, gently shaking your hands in his grip, “Y/N, darling please tell me what’s on your mind. I promise you I won’t find think it’s silly.”

Your heart sings at the pet name he gives you, taking a momentary break from it’s uneven rhythm, “I’ve just been wondering why you haven’t...well, why we haven’t- why we haven’t been intimate.”

Yoongi’s chest tightens with realization, his grip on your hands tightening ever so slightly before taking a deep breath, “There is nothing silly about that at all.” He assures you with a gentle smile, his eyes shifting from your hands to your face and back again whilst he tries to come up with a response, “It’s a perfectly normal thing to be curious about, especially considering how often we kiss. To be quite honest, my reasoning is probably what will end up sounding silly to you...”

“I don’t think it will, I just want to understand where your head is at because,” You sigh, looking into his eyes, “sometimes I feel alone in how much I desire you and I thought maybe if I got an idea where your head is at, I could understand why you always stop things before they go too far.”

At this, Yoongi raises his brows, “You think you’re alone in the desire to take me to bed?” He confirms, his voice deepening, a ghost of a smirk on his lips, “And here I thought you were clever...”

With a pout to your lips, you playfully tug your hands out of his grip causing him to chuckle before capturing them once again, “I am clever! Clever people get confused all the time, besides you just said this was a perfectly normal thing to be curious about.”

He laughs still and nods, guiding your hands up to his shoulders, “Yes I did. However, I was referring to you wondering why we haven’t gone to bed together yet, not you wondering whether or not I wanted to take you to bed. That IS silly...”

“It’s not though...” You insist, a shiver running down your spine as he slides his freed hands around your waist, “You always seem so composed. We’ll have been kissing for what feels like forever and then- you stop us. Which is ok of course but, I just don’t fully understand why.”

He hums thoughtfully with a smirk still on his lips as he pulls you closer to him, “My composure is an illusion Y/N. My job requires me to have complete control all of the time, especially in the face of an enemy...”

Scoffing, your pout deepens at the end of his sentence, “Oh so I'm your enemy now? Gee Yoongi, I’m so glad I decided to share this with you- I feel much better now.”

Yoongi laughs heartily at your sarcasm before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “You are an enemy to my composure darling- you are just refusing to realize that.”

His kiss causes your heart to sing with satisfaction, despite the fact that you are trying very hard to focus on pouting.

“Even if that were true...I still feel silly for how much I desire you.”

He quells the playfulness between the two of you then, one of his hands coming up to cup your cheek, “You are not silly, and you are not alone. My entire world has shifted because of you. I think you’d be shocked if you knew how much you occupied my thoughts.” He assures you, placing another kiss on your forehead, “However, that isn’t the answer to your question is it? You’re wondering why we haven’t gone to bed together despite how much we desire each other.”

“Yes.” You murmur, leaning against his hand, “If you have any insight on this general, please provide a briefing...”

He smirks fondly, brushing his thumb over your cheek, “You really have no idea how much I want you. I don’t think I could possibly explain it. Because of that, I want to wait until I can give you everything I have. Right now I- I simply can’t.” He admits, a bit of sadness now in his tone, “I want to wait until I have a proper villa, until I don’t have to worry about leaving at dawn to continue training, until I can stay underneath the sheets with you, until I can spend hours pleasing you- without the threat of war in the back of my mind. You deserve a man with no distractions, right now- I'm just not that man yet.”

His explanation makes perfect sense and you feel a bit of guilt for ever wondering how he felt about you in the first place but before you’re able to comment on his words, he speaks again.

“But please- please don’t think that means I don’t desire you.” He whispers, smiling softly whilst he places yet another kiss to your forehead. Letting his lips linger there, he sighs hopelessly, “One day, when I am finally free of my duties- I will spend days memorizing your skin with my lips...” He begins kissing his way down the bridge of your nose, puckering his lips gently as he does. He bypasses your lips however and uses his hand to tilt your head to the side, give him access to your neck, “I will memorize every bump,” He kisses your skin, “every curve,” Kiss “every line,” Kiss “every scar,” Kiss “every spot that gives you pleasure.” He inhales softly through his nose when he hears you gasp, your hands tightening on his shoulders, “Will you wait for me darling? Will you wait until I can give you my soul? My heart is already yours, I just need a little bit longer....”

You’re already nodding, certain with your response despite how much his presence is currently affecting you, “I’d wait for you forever, General Min.”

You can feel him grin against your neck, “I only need six months...” He chuckles, his laughter increasing as you playfully smack his back. “Then I’m yours forever.”

At his amendment, you smile and kiss the side of his head, “Forever sounds nice.”

Yoongi sighs, sliding his hands across your back to pull you into his embrace, “Forever it is then.”

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anotherkindofmindpod · 5 years ago

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Can you help resolve this discrepancy in my mind? In the podcast 2B, you can hear Paul say, “I’d rather do it (write) myself” and he was handing out his music to the other 3, like their marching orders. Then we see Linda said later, “Paul was DESPERATE to write with John again!”? Which way was it? It surely can’t be both, can it?

Thank you for this very interesting question!

I think there are probably several issues at play here but the most relevant is how they defined writing together. We know that Paul and John didn’t really need each other to write songs, and as they progressed they wrote nose-to-nose less often, however occasionally they did (i.e. notably, during Sgt. Pepper, on songs such as A Day In The Life, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, A Little Help from My Friends, Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite).

But even though they weren't always co-writing songs they remained "writing" collaborators — in that they were each other’s editors, sounding boards, co-writers, second opinions, producers and overall contributors to each other's work. They were also emotionally invested in their joint output. I suspect this is what Linda was referring to when she made this comment.

Regarding the quote “I’d rather do it myself”: Paul made this comment specifically about the challenging nature of having to collaborate with John while Yoko was sitting next to him. He even clarified that it wasn't anything Yoko was saying or doing per se; rather it was the impact of her presence on his own thinking that made things difficult - because it made HIM feel self-conscious and judged. And being self-conscious, while trying to be creative is the kiss of death! So he backed off.

Perhaps Paul (understandably) took John’s need to have her there, next to him every day, as an indication that John wasn’t interested in collaborating with him anymore. And there IS something very odd about what John was doing — by putting his creative partner (Paul) in a situation where he was not able to perform well. What exactly WAS John doing? What was he trying to achieve? We flagged this behavior in one of our episodes because we think it deserves more analysis and exploration. Traditionally, writers have lacked any interest or insight about this behavior, assuming it was simply reflective of John's obsession with Yoko and lack of interest in Paul. But I think it could be read as either passive-aggressive behavior — intended to hurt Paul (perhaps in the way that John felt?) or a reflection of just how fragile John felt at that time, i.e. he needed an emotional support blanket/advocate (Yoko) beside him at all times.

John made the point, years later, that Paul just seemed to WANT to do things on his own at this time. John's apparent lack of awareness of how much his own actions may have affected Paul was perhaps a reflection of John's own insecurity and lack of sensitivity to the situation he was putting Paul in -most likely because he was too focused on his own feelings to notice anyone else's. (In fact, I think this is an issue that all the Beatles had at this time: They all started taking things too personally and stopped being able to recognize each others' palpable hurt and pain).

I WISH John could have seen that Paul always wanted to work with him; and that it was only when given the choice of having to write with John WITH YOKO BY HIS SIDE that Paul chose to write on his own (for the most part, they did continue to collaborate throughout '69).

Also, I can imagine that Paul's actions might have ALSO stemmed from a sense of wounded pride: i.e. if you don’t want to work with me anymore, then fine, I will do it on my own. And he could. And he did. Perhaps this is what was worrisome to John? That Paul didn't seem to NEED him? Maybe John wanted him to say, I need you, but Paul had an ego too and wasn't about to do that.

Nevertheless, Paul seems to have always WANTED to work together if the original premise of Lennon/McCartney was available to him. He never seems to have wanted their partnership to end (until the breakup/Klein). In fact, John and Paul were apparently still working together while in India, so whatever happened was likely something interpersonal, not creative (as is often claimed).

But back to your question. Linda’s comment about Paul being desperate to work with John again came from an interview in the 80s. But it is unlikely that he was "desperate" for inspiration as Paul never seemed to lack inspiration, productivity or innovativeness (to put it mildly). Linda makes the point, in that same conversation, that if John had had writer's block Paul could have helped him! I think Paul was desperate to write with John again simply because he loved their partnership. He knew their chemistry was so good that they could create magic together. And if John needed inspiration, he knew he could give it and he wanted to give it.

As for your point. "he was handing out his music to the other 3, like their marching orders”—well I have no idea where this is from, but it certainly isn’t supported in any evidence I have seen (except by authors with agendas and no evidence). All three Beatles were bringing in songs to work on during the LIB/Abbey Road period, during which Paul was very collaborative and supportive. You can listen to the LIB tapes - there were no “marching orders.” While he might have had a point of view of how he wanted his songs to sound, so did John and so did George. I would encourage you to listen to the tapes yourself if you doubt us!

But to summarize, I don’t think there is a dissonance in Paul’s actions. Paul always seems to have treasured his partnership with John and didn’t want to end it, but when John made it difficult for them to work together in the late 60s, Paul acted somewhat reasonably by backing off and writing on his own. When John needed help in the late 70s, Paul was eager to work with him again. Not out of need, out of desire.

Thanks again! -Diana and AKOM

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Why Evil is the Only TV Procedural Worth Watching

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This Evil article contains spoilers. You can read a spoiler-free review of the show here.

Who knows what evils lie at the heart of CBS’s Evil? Shadows know. We consulted a book of shadows (not the one Leland Townsend (Michael Emerson) skims, too many spoilers there) to cut into the left ventricle of the darkness feeding the network’s supernatural series, now in production for season 2. The blood of the police procedural pumps through the veins of the paranormal investigation show, but Evil transcends the statutes of those limitations. Occasionally by papal decree. The series is intelligent, filled with symbolism, and its main character, who is training to be a priest, drops acid on a semi-regular basis. And he’s not microdosing. Look at those baggies.

Evil doesn’t debunk demonic possession, which is the main thrust of the team’s investigations. It never treats it as campy. The series believes demons are real, even giving the audience a breakdown of the six different forms possession take. But it deliciously stops short of giving full commitment. The show also explores how to parse out personal responsibility when there’s a supernatural being to blame. In episode 7, “Vatican 3,” we learn “the court does not acknowledge demonic possession” in determining guilt or innocence. The series further muddies the waters when the crew has to take a hard look at a murder committed by someone who wasn’t possessed, such as when the parents of what they believed is a demonically possessed child kill him. The series further turns the screw because the kid they killed to save their other children was born evil. It was literally in his genes.

Evil shares DNA with The X-Files, and David Acosta, played with charisma and empathy by Mike Colter (Luke Cage), is the new show’s Fox “Spooky” Mulder. He is looking for answers beyond the veil, which has the same letters as evil, and he is putting the pieces together like a hidden map of old Manhattan. There’s a truth out there and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to understand it. He’s not in it to solve any crimes against venal sins. He is looking for deeper meaning, and this alone puts the series above most procedurals. David’s got a bit of the scientist Dodge from original The Planet of the Apes film in his cinematic character. One of the first astronauts to delve so deep into the outer reaches of space, “He’d walk naked into a live volcano if he thought he could learn something no other man knew.” David is the same. He was a foreign correspondent in war-ravaged Afghanistan who got to know the soldiers whose stories he reported. Truth and knowledge are the most noble of callings, and ultimately come before his religious calling.

While the basic premise of a spiritual believer teamed with a dissenting psychologist is procedural trope, Evil is out to debunk the law of its diminishing returns. First, the show teams David with not just one skeptical voice, but two. Katja Herbers’ Dr. Kristen Bouchard plays the same role Agent Dana Scully played to Mulder, and with a similar arsenal. She comes from a different perspective, though. Bouchard does indeed believe in miracles, but thinks they all have scientific explanations. She is confident the only reason something might defy natural principles is because science hasn’t been applied properly yet. Scully, who wore a cross and took her faith seriously, accepted miracles on faith. David and Kristen rarely come to the same conclusion.

Ben Shakir, played by Aasif Mandvi, brings common knowledge, and shades his skepticism with cynicism. The former Daily Show correspondent takes on the weight of all three Lone Gunmen but with more constructive skills. Before joining the paranormal team, he was a carpenter, just like Jesus. Ben knows how things work, and when everyday mechanisms like sinks or faulty wiring are the root cause of supernatural phenomena, he can turn the screws, and spot the mold. Ben, “the Magnificent,” as Kristen’s children call him, is also tech savvy, and quite capable of hacking hackers.

Evil also throws things at Ben which he can’t easily spackle over with even the best of tests. Try as he may, and he tries, he can’t explain the light of an angel in the frame of a surveillance video. There is no evidence of doctoring, even at the most expert levels. “The world is weird,” David passes off as dating advice when Ben asks about potential girlfriend Vanessa (Nicole Shalhoub), who wants to know she if she should detach from her dead sister before committing to a new relationship. Vanessa thinks she is “tethered” to her phantom sister by the right arm.

Supernatural science is bizarre, creators Robert and Michelle King (The Good Wife, Braindead) believe. They push the show to diagnose causes the external evidence of exorcisms and stigmata, the bleeding wounds which correspond to the wounds on Christ’s hands when he was nailed to the cross. Because stigmatics display their wounds as they are portrayed artistically, rather than how the Romans historically would have done the crucifixion, it proves it comes from a psychological source. Internal belief causes the phenomena, not external spiritual forces. Evil explains that, allowing ample room for skepticism, belief, and even poetic reasons for spiritual incursions. David quotes Shakespeare to enunciate his faith. The concept of free will doesn’t come up in most procedurals. Neither does the way sociopolitical issues are turned into supernatural questions and tied to the origins of evil.

Evil is almost a character in Evil, and has relatable entry points. Real demons first get to Kristen’s four young daughters through an augmented reality videogame. A little girl who never takes off her Halloween mask almost gets the sisters to bury one alive. We don’t know how much of the characters’ perceptions is the result of a demon character’s influence on them. Each character is slowly being tempted by the dark side.

Kristen joined the team as a rational thinker but has had to accommodate uncomfortable ideas and adjust her comfort zone accordingly. In her usual line of work, she’s analyzed the criminally insane, but the show has pushed her into close contact with people who are evil in the Biblical sense. She is being pushed incrementally by forces in and out of her control. Her own mother Sheryl (Christine Lahti) sides with a manipulative competitor, Leland, over her daughter, and he’s made direct threats. The first season can be seen as Kristen’s slow corruption. The second season may see Kirsten apply her skills to her own situation, which will delve further into the dichotomy between the spiritual and pragmatic.

This is because Kristen may have already fallen. The final episode includes a telltale blood stain, which she wills Ben to unsee. On any procedural this is considered a clue, but here on Evil, the evidence actually points further than a mere homicide. It is the first sign that a main character has gone to the dark side. It is confirmed when the touch of a crucifix blisters her hand. There’s no such thing as an original sin and Kristen has been flirting with temptation long before this.

Kristen is a married nonpracticing Catholic who lost her faith. She’s sexually attracted to David, a man on his way to becoming a priest. When this subject was broached on the classic 1970s cop comedy Barney Miller, a prostitute who was supposed to be a young priest’s last fling before he entered a monastery said “I break laws, not commandments.” It feels like Kristen reminds herself of this every time the two of them are on screen alone together. Their sexual chemistry is that palpable. Yes, this is very similar to the long-gesticulating romance between Mulder and Scully, but he was no priest and she wasn’t married. Not only is Kristen married, but she’s got half a brood of daughters. Annoying things, really, but at least one of them has an excuse. Another reason Evil is the only procedural worth watching is because everyone on it just might be cursed. That’s not found in the manuals.

Evil towers over contemporary procedurals in how it’s going dark. Most procedurals chase a morally compromised arc, but Evil treats it like an encroaching corruption. Kristen, who is sworn to uphold the law, may have gone more than rogue vigilante. Besides the crucifix-burning season closing, David has visions of a goat demon waiting for Kristen with a scythe. She’d been tormented by her own personal demon throughout the season but when the George, the demon-like creature who visits Kristen during sleep paralysis, falls on the knife, it changes nothing. He is just one of many demons. One of them set up practice and is taking office hours with Leland.

The Demon Therapist is an all-male Goat of Mendes, or Baphomet. The show gets into how different biblical angels look from how they’re perceived artistically and by the contemporary faithful, but won’t present a faithful representation of Baphomet. It’s as patriarchal as Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. Evil keeps it vague whether the goat demon is real or in Leland’s head. The Demon therapist appears in Kristen’s dreams as well. Lexis (Maddy Crocco) disabled the house alarm for the visiting devil therapist when he invites her to “the next level,” making it seem she is at least susceptible to underworldly influence. The kids are irritating, but they are a bargaining chip and their father, Adam, put them up for grabs when they chanted together offering an exchange of souls. Kristen was co-opted into evil through protective motherly instinct. She doesn’t see the mark of the devil as a badge of honor. When Kristen puts the cross in her palm, she doesn’t look like she expected it as much as feared it.

While the network show will never have the freedoms afforded cable series, the acting is top notch all around. Series like HBO’s Perry Mason or even Showtime’s reimagined second incarnation of Penny Dreadful: City of Angels, provide a wider range of emotion and carnality. But Evil gives us muted, for the most part believable performances, very often underplayed. As are the special effects and use of technology as a narrative device. Too many procedurals treat high tech surveillance and other investigative tools like they are all-seeing eyes which can count nostril hairs. It has become normalized. Evil doesn’t waste intellectual space with unreasonable gadgets. The tools Ben or Leland use to their computerized ends are believable. At one point, Kristen asks Ben to record a cell phone conversation which is already halfway over. She is surprised he can’t with all his special skills.

The series incorporates real world horrors into mundane life. Even some of the most normal looking settings carry a sense of unease, to underscore the show’s thesis that the supernatural is natural but never quite normalized. Many of the scenes are shot vertically, drawing the viewers’ eyes upward and inferring something is always going on above. The series’ many wide-angle shots put a distance between characters even in close-ups.

The show isn’t afraid to wear its influences on its sleeves, and on several occasions has a lot of fun with it. For Dr. Kurt Boggs’ (Kurt Fuller) arrival at an exorcism, they recreated Father Merrin’s introductory scene in the horror classic The Exorcist, shot for shot, even getting an exact replica of the light post and the same make car, though different year, from the film. They gave nods to Rosemary’s Baby, Misery, Cabin in the Woods, and Children of the Corn. The climbing ax which Kirsten grabs on her way out to do damage on the serial killer Orson looks like it has teeth. As did the walking stick Lon Chaney’s Larry Talbot carried in The Wolfman. The demon George looks like Freddy Krueger’s good-looking cousin. The tonality of the show is reminiscent of Charles Laughton’s immeasurably influential Night of the Hunter.

The main reason Evil shines above most procedurals is because it is scary, and those scares have been building slowly and deliberately. Commonplace settings feel off, and the world around is filled with conspiracies and coverup. The Vatican asks the team to determine whether a woman who knows the hidden history of the church is a false prophet. The fertility clinic Kristen and her husband Andy used when conceiving Lexis corrupts fetuses with satanic insemination. A witty but innocuous internet meme, Puddy’s Christmas song, is a hummably foreboding earworm. Anything can go evil on Evil.

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Evil season 2 is currently in production. Read more about that here.

The post Why Evil is the Only TV Procedural Worth Watching appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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zalrb · 5 years ago

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How do you feel about jonsa’s ending in GOT?

I’ve been thinking about this and I’m of two minds.

1. On the one hand, I am satisfied with some of the choices. I am satisfied with the fact that Jon essentially chose Sansa over Daenerys.

When I was going through the Jonsa tag at the time of the finale, there were a lot of posts about how Jon killing Daenerys wasn’t an iteration of “duty is the death of love” but rather “love is the death of duty” and I agree with that because it wasn’t that Daenerys committed war crimes that resolved Jon to execute her, I mean it definitely shook the foundation of his trust in her, but it wasn’t until Tyrion echoed Arya’s sentiment that Sansa wouldn’t bend the knee and would therefore die

and it wasn’t until Daenerys confirms that in so many words

that he resolves to kill her and just before he does do it, he doesn’t say “I will always love you” he says she will always be his queen

and so I tend to believe that he put his love for Sansa (and for Arya) above what he perceived to be his duty/his word to Daenerys, which he took seriously because he couldn’t even lie to Cersei about bending the knee in 7x07

so in this context, love was the death of duty and I think that that was appropriate for Jon and for Jonsa.

2. The hug. I didn’t say anything about the hug because there were already so many analyses of it that everything I would have to say would be redundant but I loved that hug because it’s just so Jonsa to me?

As I’ve mentioned before and quite a bit, an aspect I find really compelling about Jonsa both as a shipper and as an objective viewer of their dynamic is the passion they communicate, which you see in their arguments and disagreements and which you also see in the ferocity of their affection for each other.

And that is a Jonsa characteristic

When Arya and Jon disagree, they’re calm

like even in 8x01 Jon’s stare in response to Sansa is way more intense

So in 8x06 when Jon says bye to Arya, it’s soft and it’s poignant

when he says bye to Bran, he’s just contrite.

But when he says bye to Sansa, that hug is urgent, that hug is fierce

There was a blog that stated how for a second it looks like Jon wants to remain stoic but he simply can’t and so grabs Sansa because he’s overcome with the emotion that he possibly may never see her again and added to that I think I really enjoy that with this hug, it’s like he’s telling himself and Sansa that it’s stupid to think he couldn’t forgive her because how could he not like that grab is “I fucking love you”. It essentially reminds me of that Kit quote about Jon’s relationship with Sansa when he said that Sansa twists Jon in a way no one else can because while in the context of the quote he’s talking about how she challenges him and infuriates him because of that, I think it speaks back to that passion and ferocity that’s always kind of stirring beneath.

And the shipper in me loves this hug, the shipper in me eyes the fact that Kit looked way more affected here than he did when Jon killed Daenerys, the shipper in me smirks at the lingering gaze Jon gives to Sansa before leaving for good

especially since it’s reminiscent of the breathless quality Jonsa get when they’re around each other, the deep exhale

the closed eyes

Their chemistry is palpable, they get so affected by each other and their goodbye scene embodies that, so these are aspects that I liked about Jonsa’s ending.

3. On the other hand, it kind of goes into the entire GoT ‘what was even the point?’ sentiment because while I think the Jonsa elements we got in the context of what the show gave us makes sense, there is nothing complete or satisfying about this finale and so the way Jonsa ends it’s just like … OK so that’s it? All of the Starks are separated now when they didn’t even really have a chance to be together as one since the pilot? That alone bothers me but also considering how close and connected Jon and Sansa became since reuniting and the fact that the North is an independent queendom that doesn’t recognize the rule of the King of the Six Kingdoms, I’m just like, even as a non-ship, they should’ve ended together.

#jonsa #sansa stark #jon snow #game of thrones #sophie turner #kit harington #jon x sansa #sansa x jon #jonsa 8x06 #8x06 #GoT 8x06 #chemistry

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jenner-benjamin · 5 years ago

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Cecil Touchon

‘Fusion Series #3582′ by Cecil Touchon, 2015 - collage on paper.

Touchon is a well known artist in the asemic writing field though he is mostly known for his typographic abstract works. These are comprised of collaged letters whose geometric shapes are employed to create unique abstracted forms. This iteration of visual poetry reduces the lettering to an abstracted composition that, similarly to asemic writing, relieves them of their semantic content. Until I found Touchon’s work I had always read that asemic writing had its literary meaning stripped or obscured, but he explains how he sees his work has liberated language from its burden of being bearers of meaning; and as a result it liberates the reader from the task of deciphering and investigating the work. They are no longer bound to being literate and can enjoy the language solely as visually stimulating.

The typographic works by the very nature of collage seem to explore the dismantling and reassembling of the printed word whereas asemic writing by definition is typically characterised by an innate flow of calligraphic gestures. The common ground between the two seemingly opposing practices is the exploration of language. There is a tension between language as a tool for understanding, and an inquiry in to the composition of language in a more expressive way that does not abide by the conventions of what the written word means. It is this line of inquiry that interests me, though I strive to find a way a way that playfully explores the composition of the written word as well as using this language as a means to communicate to an intended audience.

‘Palimpsest Asemic Poem #2011.006′ by Cecil Touchon, 2011 - ink on paper.

‘Fusion Series #3638′ by Cecil Touchon, 2015 - collage on paper.

#influences #cecil touchon #asemic art #asemic #asemic writing #vispo #visual poetry #poetry #collage #typography #printmaking #masters #mamdp

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chenfordfeels · 5 years ago

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The Rookie 2x03 Part 2

I have mixed feelings concerning the chenford content in this episode.

On one hand we have Lucy trying to set Tim up on a date as a way of helping him (as she did when she was trying to find him a hobby). She is relentless. Although, Tim has proclaimed numerous times that he doesn't want her involved in his personal life (she keeps, however, sneaking in) he allows her to find him someone.

I have three theories: a) it is one of those times when he actually needs help but doesn't show it, so Lucy offering is just perfect, b) he enjoys winning against his rookie at any given moment or c) he enjoys their little banter and making her squirm. I mean the way he looks at her when he says that she'll have to do so many pushups melted my heart.

My thoughts before the dreaded date were something between Lucy! No! Horrible idea! and I can't wait until he takes her on a date!

She went to spy on their date and no one can tell me that she did it purely out of need to win the bet. She could have as easily called Rachel the next day.

That date was painful to look at. It was awkward and part of me believes that they mostly talked about Lucy. Tim and Rachel have nothing in common and most of the time he looks defeated and three seconds away from bolting. I will admit that they look nice together but there isn't any palpable chemistry.

When Rachel asked him if he wanted Lucy to lose he said and I quote "No, I want me to win" he didn't have to correct her and I believe it means something about their relationship. Sure, he wants to be right all the time but he doesn't want to see her fail.

Lucy asks Jackson why see cares if Tim dates and his answer is that she wants people to be happy. So, it is canon that Lucy wants Tim to be happy (as if we didn't know that already) but I doubt any rookie in the history of rookies has gone through all this trouble just for platonic reasons. She wants him to be happy but she hasn't realized yet that she is the reason he smiles more often.

On the other hand, Tim slept with Rachel. There is no reason for him not to but I would rather see Lucy do 50 pushups after every call than have a relationship between these two.

Of course I have to point out that Tim's frustrated look when Lucy discovered him in Rachel's house has more to do with being caught red handed by Lucy rather that losing the bet.

And I like to believe that Lucy fantasized about Tim in nothing but a towel, all glistening muscles, once or twice.😉

As always leave your thoughts down below. I'm scared to see how things progress from here.

#chenford #tucy #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #they are going to be my demise #get them together already

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theonewiththefanfics · 6 years ago

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A Midnight Reminder (one-shot)

Synopsys: Ben Hardy has been dating the Reader for little more than a year now, and their relationship has been amazing so far. But when some things are revealed and insecurities flare up, she’ll need to remind him of who owns her heart.

Pairing: Ben Hardy x f!Reader

Genre: fluff, toiny bit of angst, SMUT

Warnings: SMUT (unprotected sex and all that good jazz. Wrap it before you tap it, guys.), swearing, jealousy

Word count: 3499

“I have better things to do on my Saturday nights,” Ben said as Roger Taylor and then smugly smiled. “I could give you their names.” On cue, Gwilym as Brian May rolled his eyes and that’s when the director called cut. The two men stood up and stretched their legs, looking at a makeup artist who was doing the finishing touches on Rami’s hair, and Joe who had just decided to tag along, since he wasn’t in the scene. But that was not what took away Ben’s attention. There in the corner talking to Lucy was the most beautiful girl, with Y/E/C eyes that sparkled like diamonds and a smile that always took his breath away. “I hope my name is the only one you’re giving away,” Y/N said, giving him a small smile when Ben finally caught up on the fact, that she was actually there. In a second’s time, he had sprinted across the set and Y/N, anticipating his next move, had already jumped up, their bodies colliding as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms had a death grip on his shoulders. “You’re here, you’re here, you’re here,” Ben kept mumbling in the crook of Y/N’s neck and she just vigorously nodded as a response. Without thinking much, he started to make his way back to his assigned trailer when she muttered in his skin, “Are you not gonna let me say hi to Rami? Or introduce me to the rest of the guys?” “Nope,” Ben popped the ‘p’. “I haven’t seen you in two months, so forgive me if I wanna spend all of my time with my girlfriend. Alone.” At the last word Y/N saw his pupils dilate and a shiver went down her spine, but she had to be the grownup, even though her heart screamed to give into the mind of that horny teenager.

“Come on,” she said pecking his lips. “I wanna meet Queen.” Begrudgingly, Ben set the girl down and interlocking their fingers, he led her around the set to meet the guys. “Okay, that’s Gwil, Joe and you know Rami. Great, now you’ve met them, let’s go,” the excitement in Ben’s voice as he thought of spending time alone with Y/N was palpable, but she just laughed, pulling him back. “Don’t be rude,” Y/N kissed him quickly. “I’m here for two whole weeks, so we’ll have enough time. Besides, I don’t think I heard them call wrap, so you still have work to finish.” Ben groaned and dramatically let his head flop down on Y/N’s shoulder. “But you’re here,” he whined, wrapping both arms around her waist. “Wow, you really have him wrapped around your finger,” Joe said, but it was not meant in a mean-spirited way. Y/N shrugged. “What can I say- he has me the same way.” Sooner rather than later, the guys were called to re-set, and they ran through the scene a few more times, Rami finally joining in before they wrapped for the day. Ben was the first one to dash to hair and makeup, sprinting to wardrobe just so he didn’t have to waste any second, he could be spending with Y/N. When he found her again, she was talking to Allen Leech and the man was completely in awe. Ben grinned, seeing her get along with his fellow cast mates so well and came up from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Hey, my Ben’s back!” Y/N smiled pecking his lips. “Allen and I were talking about going to your trailer and just chilling. Maybe order a pizza or something.” “Sure, you were. Or is that just your way of saying you want pizza?” “I’m off the fucking diet, so if you wanna talk shit about me enjoying life, I can go straight home.” Ben didn’t say anything just smiled and kissed her cheek, as he, Y/N and Allen all made their way to get together the rest of the gang and hang out.

***

The cast, including Lucy all, sat in the ‘Band’ trailer, just talking and discussing things. Loud laughter erupted through the small space as everyone cackled at what Allen’s reaction to his first meeting Y/N had been. “I’m just a huge fan of her music and movies. Can you blame me?” Y/N just waved a hand in a ‘stop it’ motion and snuggled closer to Ben. The man smiled down at her, and honestly, he couldn’t say that Allen tripping over a bunch of wires and stumbling over every single word that tried to make its way out of his mouth, was that off from his own experience. Y/N was an actual Rockstar and an Academy Award-winning actress. They’d met when he first had heard the rumours about a biopic of Queen being made. Instantly, Ben had gone to the closest studio to his London apartment to meet up with the person that would be his drumming teacher when he’d walked into someone, literally making the person fall on their ass. “Holy, shit! I’m so so sor-“ but he stopped mid-sentence seeing the one the only Y/N Y/L/N brush off the dust from her jeans. “ ‘S fine. Should’ve been watching where I was going anyway.” She looked up only to see two big green eyes and a wide goofy grin. “You’re Y/N Y/L/N.” The girl chuckled extending a hand. “And you’re Ben Hardy.” He started nervously laughing. “You know who I am.” On the inside he was feeling like a child on Christmas, the giddiness almost making him bounce on his feet. “I do,” she smirked before walking around the man and towards the exit of the studio. “And if what I’ve heard from Rog and Bri is true, I’ll be seeing you around. Top candidate for the role of mister Taylor and all.” Ben stood there, in the middle of the hallway, a dumb grin stretched across his face until his drum teacher clapped down on his shoulder, bringing the man back to reality. “You look happy.” “I just met Y/N Y/L/N.” “Ah,” his teacher smiled, leading them to the practice studio. “Well, then you might want to keep your fangirling on the inside. You’ll be seeing her a lot around here.” And he had. She was there to record another album while Westworld was on break, her playing one of the main characters and all before she went back to LA to start filming. But it was three months down the line they had formed something akin to a friendship. It was the middle of the night, when he’d seen her again, tears streaming down her face as she stormed inside the studio and suddenly, she had screamed. Ben was by the drums, trying to memorize the beats to ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ when the loud yell had scared him. Instantly, he was out of the recording booth and saw a hunched over form sobbing in her hands. “Are you alright?” he wanted to smack himself the moment those words left his mouth. Of course, she wasn’t alright. No one cries like that when everything is good. “I- yeah,” Y/N said, wiping a tear away. “What are you doing here anyway? It’s past one o’clock already.” “Practicing,” Ben said, and she just nodded. Slowly he made his way next to the couch and sat down beside her. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Y/N shook her head and rested her cheek against his shoulder. “Just hold me, please.” So, he did. He wrapped both his arms around the girl and hugged her. Together they laid down on the sofa and fell asleep. After that incident, they became closer and closer until the man finally gathered the courage and asked her out for a coffee. The smile she had given him had made his heart stop. Ben was so far back into the memories of how he’d met the girl and had fallen in love with the talented human being, it was when she said words he never expected to hear, that brought him back. “You know, if things had been different, it wouldn’t be me and Ben here together, but me and your lead singer,” she pointed at Rami with her chin, who chuckled at that. That threw Ben for a loop. Of course, he’d heard the rumours of the two stars of Night at the Museum hitting it off behind the scenes as well, but never did he think it was true. Media always liked to speculate. When the two had started filming the first movie, tabloids absolutely loved writing that the actors who played the love interests in the movie had a romance of their own going on off stage. Instant jealousy rippled through his veins as he looked at Rami, who had his own hand on Lucy’s knee, her eyes wide and looking back and forth between the two. “And what happened?” she asked. Ben felt Y/N shrug. “I don’t know. I think we kinda decided to try it out because everyone else was saying how good we looked together, how great the chemistry was and blah blah blah. But as the ‘relationship’,” Y/N put the word in air quotes with her fingers, “progressed, it just didn’t feel natural. It felt like I was dating my best friend, but not in a good way.” Rami nodded along, looking off into the distance. “We tried to see what everyone else saw, but ultimately it was not what either of us wanted or needed. And honestly, I know you feel the same Y/N, so I’m just gonna say it- kissing you off-set was the weirdest fucking thing ever. I think that is why it took us until the third one to actually do anything. Just the thought of you that way made me feel weird.” Her loud laugh echoed through the trailer, but Ben couldn’t stop thinking about the new revelation. She had been together with Rami. Not for long and neither seemed to have enjoyed that kind of a relationship, but still. It was a pretty big thing Y/N had kept from him and the actor didn’t like it. Of course, he realized how unfair he was being towards the two, all of that having happened years ago, but when you’re surrounded by the glitz and glam so much, it’s hard to sometimes distinguish what is real and it makes you question things. “Don’t take this wrong, Rami, but even if we had ended up having something serious, it wouldn’t have lasted long.” “Yeah,” the man nodded and looked down at Lucy with the same fond smile Y/N looked up at Ben. “Why’s that?” the blond asked, uncertainty in his eyes. Y/N seeing this sighed and slid a palm to cup his cheek. “Because I found love in you. And I could not fathom being with someone who doesn't own my heart.” There was an audible ‘aww’ from Gwil and Allen, but Joe scoffed, playfully rolling his eyes. The bromance between the two was one of Y/N’s favourite things as Ben always sent her funny snaps and Instagram messages of the two goofing around. "Gross," he muttered and the trailer was overtaken by laughter.

***

Y/N’s head was heavy as she leaned against Ben’s shoulder, as they made their way together to his trailer, after four more hours of talking and giggling with the cast. “You alright?” he asked, the deep voice she adored so much laced with concern. “Mhm,” she hummed, closing her eyes for a second. “Just tired.” He pressed a sweet kiss to her temple and wrapped his arm tighter around her waist. “We’re almost there.” She walked the rest of the way with her eyes closed, trusting Ben to guide her and not let her trip over things or hit her head at a low hanging sign. With a soft click. Ben unlocked his trailer and he let Y/N step inside first. She didn’t even wait for the door to be closed when she pulled off her pants and shirt. “Giving me a show, are we?” Ben smirked, eyes raking up and down his girlfriend’s body, but both of them knew, he was just teasing. Y/N was so tired she could fall asleep while standing up. Gently, he scooped her up in his arms and went over to the bed, placing her above the covers, while he quickly got rid of his own clothes. A soft whine of ‘come here’ fluttered through the air, making his heart clench. As he laid down, Y/N pulling the bedding from underneath her and over them, Ben wrapped her in his embrace and sweetly kissed her. “Night, love.” “Love you.” Y/N fell asleep in a second, but Ben seemed to be doomed never to close his eyes. The thought of her being with Rami had overtaken every part of his brain and he hated how bitter it made him feel. She wasn’t in love with his costar, Y/N was in love with Ben, and he knew it without a doubt, so why this new revelation made him so jealous, was beyond the Brit. “Baby, you okay?” her voice was raspy with sleep and Ben sighed, turning to his side to wrap an arm around her midsection. Her worried tone made his chest hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “About what?” “About you and Rami? Why didn’t you tell me you had a thing with him?” Y/N was becoming wider awake with every passing second, so she leaned up on her elbow to better look at Ben’s face. “Because, as I said before, it wasn’t even a thing. And what does it matter? That was more than two years ago, and nothing came of it. He’s like a brother to me.” A devilish smirk appeared on her face. “Is someone jealous?” Y/N whispered leaning up and letting her teeth nip at Ben’s ear. He groaned feeling her hips roll into his as she had hiked her knee over his side. “Can you blame me? You’re this amazing actress/ fucking rock and roll legend at this point. How could I not be when you could have anyone you wished to?” She continued on with the motions, eliciting delightful moans from Ben. “And have you seen yourself in the mirror, darling?” Y/N groaned, feeling him stiffen with every movement their bodies made. “Fuck, if I let myself go off every time, I read a comment on any social media about how much of an Adonis you are and how much everyone wants to be with you, I’d handcuff you to the bed and glue myself on top of you, just to make a statement that you’re mine.” Ben’s mouth quirked up. “You know, that doesn’t sound that bad. Actually, that sounds like fucking heaven.” His hands settled on her soft sides, as they helped her keep a steady rolling rhythm. The fabric that separated the two was beyond offensive in Ben’s opinion, but there was just something about teasing Y/N and in the end himself, that made the climax of everything so much more amazing. “Ben, I need you,” Y/N’s voice was desperate. The man just hummed as his lips lazily moved up and down the column of her throat, and he smiled, feeling her get more and more frustrated. But it was when she pulled his hands away from her waist and pushed them up and over his head, pushing him on his back and grabbing his wrists in a tight grip, an animalistic growl reverberated through the air and his bones. “Now,” her voice was low and dangerous and holy shit did that turn him on. Instantly her nightshirt was off, and her panties followed suit, Ben practically ripping his own boxers away. There was no time for foreplay, as the ache in both of their bodies had become insufferable. As much as Ben wanted to slam up and be hugged by Y/N’s velvety wall, he let her grip his member at the base and slowly ease down. Profanities, that he didn’t even know he knew, passed Ben’s lips and Y/N echoed them by pressing their lips in a tight kiss. It had been so long, too long since they had been together like this, she was almost sure she’d burst just from the feeling of him being sheeted inside. Ben gave Y/N a minute to gather her breath and as she did so, he felt her stretch and adjust, and once again mould to him. Her mouth was by his ear, praising him and whispering confessions of love as her hands moved up and down his biceps. It was in that moment, that Ben wanted to punch the living daylights out of himself for ever doubting Y/N and her feelings, for ever thinking that she was with him simply because it was easy and practical. Because in reality, it was far from it. The distance and work lead to fights and tears, and they had to solve the issues, rather than abandoning them, which is what both had usually done. If they didn’t, the pair knew all of the brilliant moments spent together, the tender lovemaking, and gentle laughs would crumble. And never had Y/N or Ben wished to keep something so much as they did with one another. “Can I move?” Ben’s words were a plea because suddenly not moving was incredibly uncomfortable. The soft moan rippling from Y/N’s throat was all the green light he needed, so clasping both his hands down on the small of her back, he pushed his hips up, until he had bottomed out and then slipped almost all the way out, leaving only the tip in. Her sigh of content was a sound Ben assumed he would only get to hear in heaven. Yet there he was, biting down on the shoulder of the most gorgeous girl he’d ever met as she marked his neck with love bites of her own. “I love you,” he groaned feeling Y/N tighten around him as his shaft finally hit that spot that made her Y/E/C eyes roll to the back of her head. “I love you so fucking much.” “I love you too, Ben,” her reply was breathless, but her gaze was fiery and piercing. “And don’t you ever forget that or doubt it.” Each word was accentuated by a harsher snap of her hips. The sounds of their bodies colliding, and Y/N’s slick having coated both of their thighs, sweat sliding down their frames and onto the sheets was more than obscene. He knew he wouldn’t last long, he could feel the release approaching like a freight train, but at the same time, Ben was not about to cum first. Detaching their lips from the heavy kiss the pair had been engaged in, he licked the pad of his thumb and brought it between them. The second Y/N felt him touch her clit, she saw white. Her vision blurred at the edges and the hold she had had on Ben’s arms became so strong, her nails broke his skin in places. Instantly, she wanted to apologize, guilt settling in her chest, but the movement of his finger became more erratic and without a warning, she was cumming all over him. It was like the orgasm had been pulled from somewhere deep within her soul, for she had never actually felt on the verge of passing out. Y/N screamed Ben’s name into the dark and if he hadn’t had a hold on her body, she would have most likely fallen off the bed, her thighs and stomach spasming so hard. Ben shut his eyes, forehead scrunching up as Y/N squeezed him so painfully hard, she almost pushed his member out of her, but instead, he trust up a few more times and let bliss take over his body. She felt him release, hot thick streams of cum filling her up and painting every inch of her walls. Ben remained like that- still buried to the hilt inside her warm and now leaking center- for what felt like an eternity, but not nearly enough, before Y/N rolled off of him, a whine of discontent making its way into the air that smelled of sex and love. “Do you think anyone heard us?” Y/N asked, already being pulled back to dreamland by Ben’s steadying heartbeat. “Well, if they did, then they will definitely know, who made you feel that good.” And with a snort, Y/N closed her eyes.

*** Lucy’s head was laying on Rami’s sweaty chest, both of their breathing laboured. “Do you think they heard us?” she asked, big eyes drooping closed from the activities they had taken part in. Rami shrugged, pulling Lucy’s body closer and together they fell asleep.

***

Joe’s eyes were wide as he stared at the ceiling. “I hate my life,” he muttered and turned to the side, just in case his neighbours decided to go at it again, placing a pillow over his head. No matter which pair.

Tags (crossed out wouldn't take): @16wiishes @wanderingsami @desir-ae @thiccio-and-thicciet @roseslovedreams @vesoleil @gloomybisexualemo @kostyaownsmyheart @perriwiinkle @screaminggalileochickenwrites @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @magicwithaknife

A/N: I’m so tired and stressed and holy shit does everything feel like it’s happening all at once.

I have two fics of Roger (both set in the 80s Retro and 70s Vintage world) lined up to write. On is in the early days of how they met and then another one is revolving around the Golden Globes.

P.S. what did you think?

P.S.S. my tags are always open.

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troybarnesbucky · 5 years ago

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I woke up and decided to analyze each 9-1-1 pairing with regards to timing and also buddie

I just woke up and all im gonna say right now is this: this is long-winded but basically it takes a look at all the relationships on 9-1-1 and compare the timing and level of intimacy to that of buck and eddie’s relationship.

at the end of season 1 of 911 I remember watching and realizing they were gonna push the whole bobby and athena relationship, and I was surprised, because I didnt think there was any preamble or much hinting to it. but I guess it made sense to me - they were both single, both in the same social circle, they got along. sure, made sense. and then season 2 comes along and they’re smack dab in the middle of their relationship and we have zero time to adjust to it as an audience, but once again, we quickly did (mind you, I did not watch it live as intently as a fan would, but I do recall a lot of episodes because my mom watches the show and I remembered a lot when I was catching up myself). at this point bobby and athena are happily married and I really do love them together, genuinely.

then, maddie comes along and there’s a bit more to the story. she has a lot going on, a lot she’s been through and we spend much of her first season getting to know her and watching her confront her past and create her own present. chimney had a bit of a rough start with relationships (.... tatiana, sorry love, but you could’ve had it all sis). her and chimney start out as friends but it’s very clear from their blossoming friendship that the writers intend for us to want a relationship for them, and we DO. because theyre adorable together and genuinely have so much chemistry and they’re good for one another. it’s a bit of a slowburn but we get there eventually, so much so that in the season 3 finale, we find out maddie is pregnant! which yes, did make me cry shut up.

hen and karen had a rough start. even if they did look happy, they went through a ton of shit in the first and second season, especially the first season. which is fair; hen cheated on karen, and a large part of her storyline revolved around her ex and having to fight for denny. but there’s so much love between them, and a heavy history that is palpable through the screen. by the time season 2 comes around, they are a bit more grounded, and more so by the time season 3, too. it was interesting to think about their relationship is comparison to the others, which we watched blossom in real time. especially in season 3, because we see their love and support of one another during their attempt to have another child, and yes I also did cry when they met nia for the first time and no I will not elaborate. hen also went through a lot of shit this season; karen, despite what she went through, was and continues to be super wonderful and supportive, if a bit wary (but its okay because drunk karen and chim was a gift and we were well fed) for a second. their relationship is everything and also karen carries the whole show’s sense of humor on her back, I said what I said.

then we have three more main relationships: michael and athena’s, which is over in episode 1; buck and abby (im not counting ali because genuinely she was in three episodes, im only looking at the main relationships for each character), which starts and ends in season 1; and eddie and shannon, which technically starts before season 1 and kinda ends in season 2 but then she dies.

personally I dont think there’s much to add about michael and athena’s relationship. firstly, michael is a doll and if they hurt him in season 4 I will riot. but more so, the show gave us a LOT to work with in terms of their past relationship. also, it was interesting as a viewer, to learn about them from the bottom up. we see the tail-end of their romantic relationship and watch it get replaced with a genuine love and care for each other and their family. it’s a stark contrast to what a lot of shows on television would go for; it has a bit of rough, bumpy start, but by midway through season 2, they’re both on steady ground in terms of personal family life, and it’s actually a breath of fresh air. their dynamic is heavily surrounded by love for family, and we love love love that.

I think with abby and buck we all liked it a little, at the start. buck was sweet to her and we see a change in attitude and an effort from buck that is clear to have never been made before. abby is also a pretty admirable character; she takes care of her mother, is incredible at her job as a dispatcher, and she struggles with maintaining personal relationships but still gives it a go with buck. and buck, from the start to end of the season, grows a lot, both independently from and surrounding their relationship. as a viewer I watched the show way later on, so I knew abby was leaving and honestly, I really did like her and their chemistry. as we go into season 2, we have buck, who is still living in abby’s place, and then the introduction of eddie.

so here’s the thing; this is where I was trying to get to. the show (the writers) made and continue to make interesting character and relationship choices. with eddie and shannon, there is a very clear closeness and chemistry between them that yes, does get revamped for a little. there is also history, which is very important and can’t be disregarded. but more than anything, we are looking at timing in this meta. eddie comes along in season 2 and there are a lot of things happening: hen and karen are getting back to normal, athena and bobby are suddenly dating, buck and abby are - despite what buck thinks - very over, and chim is single and ready to pringle, plus maddie is new and freshly separated from d*ug. as we go through season 2, we see development with athena and bobby, very clearly on their way to a stable relationship and marriage. hen and karen are working through things, we don't really doubt their relationship either. both maddie and chimney are single, and they become friends, and we very quickly, as viewers, realize where the writers are taking us and what they want us to think.

so now im gonna get on my clown shit when I talk about buck and eddie. specifically, regarding the writers and their timing and why I think they’re either really stupid or actually very smart.

listen, everyone loves slowburn. hell, I'm writing a buddie au that will probably end up being like, upwards of 80k words and it’s gonna be a slowburn. buck, at the beginning of season 2, is in denial. im not gonna go through details but I will say that like..... okay, he’s heartbroken and thats fair. eddie, through means of “what a man,” is introduced and within one fell swoop, buck is immediately jealous and then like, twenty four hours later, they’re besties. tea. totally fair. in terms of timing, especially regarding relationships, there really aren’t many things to note: buck goes through that weird thing with taylor kelly, eddie goes through his drama with shannon, and when shannon wants a divorce, it kinda all goes to shit. by the end of season 2, we have buck trying to move on (and also nearly dying by means of a firetruck but thats not my point but also writers wtf) and dating ali (guys how do you spell her name lol) while eddie deals with the aftermath of his (ex, technically but I don't know if its mean to say that) wife. there are more than a few moments between buck and eddie that hint to a potential romance and feelings, like the santa scene and multiple others. then, season 3 is very very interesting.

buck and ally(? seriously I don't know) are broken up, eddie is focused on christopher and actually, also buck, and then the tsunami happens. there is also not much going on in terms of other relationships on the show; maddie and chim get their shit together while also having a crazy season starting and ending with talking about having kids with a brief intermission of “I cant say I love you” and nearly dying on both parts and albert appears lol (and then disappears, too?? wtf). athena and bobby are pretty cool, hen and karen are trying for kids and hen wants to be a doctor. we have some others, like josh, who go through too much shit for my liking and deserve better, and michael, who...... deserves the world.

okay. cleared that up. but timing-wise, if we look at the writers and their regard for timing, then we see this: any time two characters are single and there’s an ounce of friendship even hinted, they end up together. fine, that’s fair to say because we’ve seen it, right? after the tsunami, which is a WHOLE OTHER thing im not getting into, we have the lawsuit, eddie fighting, lena bosko (yall can be mad but she was hella cool), hen killing that cello (I think) player, michael getting sick, wow this season was fucking insane holy shit.

but in terms of character relationships and timing, a lot goes on with buck and eddie. in this one season alone, we go from eddie being the first one to hug buck at his surprise party and christopher giving buck a card with “bff” on it, then buck almost dies (again) and eddie is, quite frankly, the only one who takes no crap from him after he quits and then the tsunami and buck literally tearing himself apart to find his best friend’s son and collapsing at the sight of them reunited and then “there’s no one I trust more with my son than you” (is that the quote, I don't know it by heart) and THEN heart eyes, and then the lawsuit and supermarket and “you’re exhausting” and “christopher misses you” and “I couldn't even call you to bail me outta jail” and then the “I’m hearing a lotta ‘I’s, buck” and “I forgive you” and then the Infamous Kitchen Scene and me endlessly screaming WHY WAS BUCK’S HAND ON HIS BELT LIKE THAT? but also very pointedly I will say eddie fighting specifically when he can’t talk to buck and then it stops around the time he can hmmmmm. and also “this is eddie’s house im not really a guest here” then the fuckaifajfgkjfglgakjdgag tunnel collapsing and buck literally, once again tearing himself and everything apart for a diaz, digging with his bare hands and the defeated look on his face and refusing to think about eddie dying and eddie very nearly dying but then recalling christopher, his family, buck, then christopher and buck, then christopher and buck again, then a rare shannon appears, and then it’s just-

okay. OKay. O K AY. ok. here’s what I think. either the writers are incredibly smart or just viciously stupid, or the third, lesser liked option, they know what they’re doing and don’t give two shits. they are sitting on, and quite frankly they have created, a fucking goldmine. but in terms of timing, and relationship choices, we have eddie and anna(?) as a brief thing that will either reappear in season 4 or never be touched again, then abby’s lame-ass apology that was just her attempting to justify her actions by claiming she simply just should’ve told buck sooner. but a lot of this season explores buck’s loneliness, and in a way, too, eddie’s.

yes, eddie has christopher, and the others? they have families and significant others. buck has no one (except maddie but you get my point) to go home to. I think, in terms of timing and thematic elements, this season took the time to explore the loneliness of two men, but also by doing so, only high-lighted their need for one another, their love for one another. in the past, that has lead to two couples getting together: athena and bobby, and chimney and maddie.

so, my point is, season 4 is the make it or break it point. we got (weak-ass) closure with abby, eddie’s anger and regret with shannon (and yes, christopher), an exploration of both of their loneliness, and a very, very clear rocket launch of their closeness and dependence on one another, in season 3. it started with a lot and ended with closure on all extraneous factors that could have possibly deterred the two of them from a potential relationship. more so, abby is getting married and buck has no choice but to move on; he may not have loved her anymore but he needed the closure (and no I do not think it was good enough and I think buck deserved more but that’s not my point).

this can’t be read that much into. it’s not subtle, it’s not subtext. it’s very clearly there on our screens, with every small or big line. they mean a lot to each other. anyone with eyes can say that, has to say that. the problem is, what’s the intention? like, are the writers actually doing what I've just said, setting up for a slowburn, taking it season by season. you can look at it that way, and it actually doesnt take a lot to get to that point of a thought process. there is a HUGE, fundamental shift in buck and eddie’s relationship in season 3. there is a perceived difference in their friendship versus both their relationship with others and the friendship between others. denny doesn’t call chimney his best friend, “his chimney.” athena has never once told hen she trusts her children with her more than anyone in the world.

there are a lot of interesting choices that have been made over the course of three season, particularly this past season. there are also a lot of possibilities for the upcoming season. we may see a return of that teacher, we might see buck fall into other women, we may see eddie not fully over shannon, or (hopefully not) an abby return. it’s just a matter of waiting, but there’s no denying the way things were left off; buck and eddie were both single throughout the entirety of season 3, considerably closer and not guests at each other’s place, both very lonely in spite of the people around them, closer to each other than the rest of the 118, both have a family member (or more than one for eddie) to keep them anchored. buck is, yes, more lonely, but they are both left off in the same place. my question, more than anything, is whether it’s intentional after all that’s said and done. and if it’s not, then why, pray tell, are the writers following their OWN very clear and self-fulfilled pattern of timing and relationships to an even stronger extent than they ever have?

#buddie #911 meta #9-1-1 #911 on fox #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #chimney han #maddie buckley #bobby nash #athena grant #henrietta wilson #karen wilson #michael grant #long post #but yeah #this is my thought process

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i-want-my-iwtv · 6 years ago

Note

Click the link in the post! It's a real quote that Jeff Goldblum said, and it's not the first time he's talked about the Frostmaster fandom!

My heart! I’m so glad that quote is legit! Hearing him speak those words, it’s so sweet. He appreciates the fanart and his co-star, the chemistry they had on screen was so palpable.

I need to see them together in something else plz!!

#anon #ask #Anonymous #jeff goldblum #tom hiddleston #gif #the adorableness btwn these two is LETHAL #not vc

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xx-thedarklord-xx · 7 years ago

Text

We Knew It!

Harry Potter Finally Owning up to Dating Draco Malfoy?

Harry rolled his eyes at the latest cover of the Daily Prophet. Yes, he and Draco were seen a lot together but that was because they were friends. Friends. Nothing more.

For years the media has been telling the whole wizarding world that there just had to be something more going on between the two of them. Despite the fact that since they have left school, nearly five years ago, both of them have had different partners.

Thinking about the blonde always brought a smile to his face, they had made an unlikely friendship during their eighth year and it held strong since. Draco was honestly one of his best friends. The man had seen him through depression, breakups and many self-doubts.

A whoosh in the distance let him know that someone was coming through his floo. He already knew that it would be Draco. The blonde was the only one who never bothered with niceties and being polite enough to give notice.

Harry checked the time as a very disheveled Draco came into his kitchen. “Either your blind date when very well or very bad.”

Draco glared weakly as he threw himself into a chair. “It was bloody awful. Worst date I have ever been on in my life.”

The exaggeration had Harry rolling his eyes as he peered at his friend in curiosity. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Oh, it was.” Draco argued as he closed his eyes and wished to vanish into thin air. “It went so awful that I have decided to become celibate and adopt hundreds of animals to appease my lonely, bitter heart.”

“You hate animals.”

Draco opened one eye. “Don’t ruin this for me.” He smiled when Harry let out a heavy sigh.

“Tell me what happened.”

Despite it being a blatant demand, Draco sat up and admitted defeat. “It’s horribly embarrassing.” He warned.

Harry smirked widely. “Good. I am in need of something to cheer me up.”

“Why am I friends with you?” The question was worded as if Draco himself had no idea.

“Merlin, I have no clue. I wonder that myself sometimes.”

Draco rolled his eyes as he chose to ignore this completely. “Pansy is never to be trusted again when it comes to picking out someone of interest.”

This wasn’t news to Harry. He himself had gone on a blind date the woman set up for him and that hadn’t been a good idea. Not at all. He was beginning to wonder if she did it on purpose.

“The guy was decent looking enough.” The reluctance was thick. “That is if one is to ignore the blindingly bright smile that never left his face and the overly happy eyes.”

Harry bit his lip to stop from laughing. Figures Draco would find a happy person undesirable.

“I wasn’t really feeling the date too much but I was still willing to give it a chance. Even after he took me Marquis.”

That had Harry wincing slightly. He knew that Draco abhorred that place. The blonde said it was a knock off of true ambiance. Somewhere only desperate people went to.

“The conversation left much to be desired but I knew he would probably be somewhat decent in bed.” Harry snorted loudly.

“But this all went to shite when our waitress recognized me.”

Draco watched concern flitter across Harry’s face and he smiled softly in response. “Oh, not because of being an ex-Death Eater, mind you.” He paused to shake his head. “She recognized me as the ‘true love partner of Harry Potter’, that was a direct quote, by the way.”

Harry dropped his mouth open in shock. Sure, he had read many times in the papers that they had developed a fanbase of people who wouldn’t accept that they just weren’t an item. But he didn’t think it would have gotten this bad.

“Did you know that there is an entire magazine centered around the two of us?” Draco changed the conversation faster than Harry was really able to keep up with.

“What?”

“Mhm.” Draco nodded slowly as he pulled the damn thing out of his robes. “The waitress lectured my date for ten minutes about how rude it was that he was interfering in what was ‘the best love story’ since Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin.”

Harry blinked rapidly. “But Gryffindor and Slytherin were never together.”

“I know that and you know that. But these people obviously don’t listen to reason.” Draco whispered in frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Here.” He tossed the bloody thing in the air and watched fast seeker hands grab it out of the air.

Harry looked down and groaned at the cover. It was a photo of the two of them taken together well over a year ago. They had gone window shopping, hoping to find good Christmas gifts for their friends. The photo had always been one of his favorites that had been in the papers. Draco was laughing at something he had said and there was just this sense of freedom in the easy smiles and joyous laughter.

It took Harry a moment to tear his eyes away from the way his own eyes in the photo seemed to light up with happiness. When he looked up, he noticed that Draco’s eyes were narrowed in on him with an emotion that he couldn’t quite decipher.

“What did your date think of her speech?”

Draco sighed as he looked away for a moment, not sure if he was disappointed or not with the lack of response. “He said that there was no way that he could come between you and I when we are so obviously in love.”

For some reason this had Harry blushing as he looked down at the table. This wasn’t new to him. He had been hearing things like this from fan mail for years. People loved to think that there was more under the surface but they were all wrong. Right?

When Harry didn’t say anything, Draco stood up slowly. “I have some errands that need to be taken care of in Diagon Alley.”

Harry snapped his gaze up and frowned at the way Draco seemed to be shutting him out. Was there something wrong?

“Would you like company?” It was supposed to be rhetorical. Harry always went with Draco when they were both free.

“No.” Draco whispered as he turned around, not willing to see the hurt in green eyes. “I’ll floo you later?”

Harry felt like he was missing something. This hadn’t happened before. A very uncomfortable feeling began to settle in his stomach and he didn’t like it one bit.

Before Harry could come up with an argument or to even ask what was wrong, his friend was out of the kitchen and into the fireplace.

“I don’t understand.” Harry whispered to no one in particular as he stared down at the table.

The sight of the magazine angered him but not enough to stop him from opening it and discovering just what could make someone believe the contents in it.

The first page was dedicated to fans who wrote in with their thoughts.

-‘Harry and Draco really are together, they just don’t want the papers to know.’

-‘I saw them hold hands one time while I was out shopping, this is PROOF of their love.’

-How can people doubt their relationship when there is so much chemistry? I mean, they are always looking at each other and they just have these adorable smiles reserved just for the two of them.’

-‘Can we just talk about the palpable sexual tension? Everyone said we were crazy because Harry just COULDN’T be gay but now that he has come out as bisexual, everyone else is laughing it up. Can’t these two idiots just get with the program?’

-‘Their love is so beautiful. I’ve never seen anyone look at Draco the way Harry does and that’s saying something. I don’t even look at my wife that way.’

Harry furrowed his brows in confusion. What were they all talking about? There was no sexual tension, no chemistry and certainly no looks that spoke of something else.

With an odd feeling in his gut, he turned the page and ignored the rest of the fan comments. His breath left him in a whoosh at the first photo. He hadn’t even known that this existed.

Harry recognized where it had been taken. Draco had been feeling upset after a potion that had gone wrong and needed to be cheered up. So, he had taken the blonde out into the muggle world and brought him to a painting class that also had copious amounts of wine. It was a little concerning that they had been followed but that was only a fleeting thought as he watched the photo change from them just painting next to each other, to seeing himself reach over and gently wipe paint that had somehow gotten on Draco’s face. There was such fondness in Draco’s gratitude and the soft smile that lit up everything.

There was a caption underneath the photo. Date night.

He quickly flipped the page, not wanting to think too hard on this. It hadn’t been a date. Harry had just wanted to cheer up his friend. That was all.

Another photo that he had never even known had been taken, was blinking up at him. It was clear that he was going to have to be more aware of his surroundings.

This time, Harry couldn’t recall where this had been taken at all. The only thing his mind could focus on was the fact that Draco was looking at him with so much reverence that it had his heart fluttering. He watched as his photographed self looked to the ground and completely miss this gaze entirely.

The caption read, Draco in love.

Harry bit his lip in indecision. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to read any more of this. It was clearly shaped in ways to show the two of them in manners that just weren’t true. But a pang in his heart at the thought had him continuing on anyways.

Every single photo inside the magazine was the two of them together, looking at each other in ways that Harry had never considered. It was odd to see a side of him that he had never even known existed.

The next page had Harry blinking rapidly. One page showed a very old photo of Ginny and him together, they were holding hands and she was smiling widely but he was not. There wasn’t anything to show that he was uncomfortable or not enjoying her company. But there also wasn’t anything actively showing the opposite. There was another photo right next to this one. It showed Harry and Draco walking together, shoulders touching and smiles from ear to ear.

The caption read, Need I say more?

This had Harry’s brows pinching and a frown forming. Was he really always happy when he spent time with Draco? The man was one of his best friends. Why wouldn’t he be happy? But… he couldn’t ever recall any photos taken of anyone else with him that ever looked like this. But no one else understood Harry quite like Draco, it would make sense that he had a close relationship with the other man.

No one else had pulled him out of the dark place his mind had gone to after the war. No one else had understood the pieces of himself that frightened him. No one else understood why family wasn’t always a good thing. No one else knew how to make Harry smile like Draco. No one cared for him like Draco did.

Harry froze as he realized just what he thought. It was obvious how much his friend cared for him. Just as obvious as the photos in the stupid magazine showed how much he cared for Draco.

The magazine fell onto the table and snapped close, the cover drawing his attention once more. Harry couldn’t stop himself from noticing how beautiful Draco looked when he was happy. The way those grey eyes would get lighter depending on the man’s mood and the soft smiles made him look years younger. Breathtaking. Draco was utterly breathtaking.

Harry stood up rapidly and didn’t hesitate to apparate to Diagon Alley. His appearance drew attention from bystanders but that was to be expected. They never did leave him alone. Ever.

He scanned the crowd, hoping to see Draco somewhere. Harry tried recalling if the man had said a particular shop but he couldn’t remember. Just when he was about to begin going to each shop, a familiar mop of blonde exited an apothecary.

“Draco!”

Draco would know that voice anywhere. It was the voice that saved him from his own thoughts when he thought his world was crumbling. It was the voice that brought happy memories. It was the voice of his best friend. It was the voice of his first crush. It was the voice of the best man he has ever known.

“Draco, stop!”

Draco debated about just apparating home and giving some weak excuse if asked about it later but he was tired of pretending that they were just friends. He was tired of ignoring the way his heart beat faster every time he saw Harry. He couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t in love with his best friend any longer. With a heavy heart and a fake smile, he turned around and braced himself for whatever was about to happen.

Harry stopped right in front Draco and searched silver eyes. He ignored the fake smile, that wasn’t going to fool him and it was pointless of the blonde for even trying.

“I love you.”

Draco let out a soft gasp of surprise. He wasn’t the only one either. The crowd surrounding them began whispering furiously. He was positive he heard the snapping of a camera too.

Harry cupped Draco’s cheeks in his palms as he pressed their foreheads together. “You’ve been such a huge staple in my life that I never gave it a deeper thought. I have loved you for a long time, I just never stopped to consider which way that was. I don’t want to just be your best friend. I can’t. Not after this, not after seeing how happy you make me.”

The speech was everything Draco had ever wanted to hear but all he could wish at this moment in time, was that the brunette would shut up.

“Draco-” Harry was cut off by lips slamming into his own, his gasp of surprise was drowned out by the cheering crowd around them. He ignored them all in favor of tilting his head to the side and allowing Draco to deepen the kiss.

Why hadn’t they done this sooner?

Draco let out a soft groan when Harry’s tongue rubbed against the seam of his lips, he eagerly opened his own to allow his tongue to tangle with Harry’s.

As heated as the kiss began, they pulled away softly, peering into each other’s eyes.

“I love you too, Harry.” The whisper was soft but it had Harry’s heart skipping several beats. He couldn’t help but answer the admission with another kiss. Or two. Or five.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Draco entered the kitchen in time to see Harry tacking up the next cover of the Daily Prophet. He wrapped his arms around a strong waist and rested his chin on the man’s shoulder.

He snorted at the title.

“We Knew It!” Fans scream in celebration. “Validation Tastes Sweet!”

“I’ve always known it too.” Draco whispered softly before he pressed a gentle kiss to Harry’s neck.

------------------------------------------------------

I am supposed to be working on a chapter for another story but this wanted to be written! Hopefully you enjoyed it!

#Drarry #Draco Malfoy #Harry Potter #harry x draco #Pining idiots

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