#he puts bike together and fix microwaves

[miisart]

‘Let me get this straight, you’ve met the love of your life?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘What’s his name again?’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Dude--’ ‘No, listen, this giant of a man, literally walked into traffic to rescue a cat--you don’t understand, I am in love--’

[workingbynyx]

Hi! I was wondering if you'd be interested in writing headcanons of Jason Todd as the reader's boyfriend? Probably like the general dynamic of the relationship, love language, etc. Whatever you think goes best! :)

of course! i can finally use my hcs of boyfie jason to good use oml i have so much in store for you loves 😚

(this has been sitting in my drafts for so long and now that its almost v-day i think its pretty fitting to post this <3 also pls remember that these are my personal hcs so some may be entirely ooc but this is how i imagine him to be okay 😭)

Very affectionate behind closed doors

Jason wasn't a very clingy person to begin with. in fact the first time you held hands you swore you saw drops of sweat drip down the side of his face, it's hilarious. it took him a while to get around giving physical affection but once he did, hugs and kisses are non-stop. he'll either give you quick or aggressive but gentle kisses or would simply ask you to climb onto him on your shared bed and lay your head on his chest as he sleeps. he'd search for your hand and give it a squeeze when the both of you are in a big crowd (ex; galas, parties) or just rest his hand on the small of your back— as intimidating he might seem, he's just a big baby in your hands.

A pretty decent cook, to say the least

Could be an unpopular opinion but i'd say Jason isn't all too bad in the kitchen, he can pretty much fix up a simple meal if he wants to. The man could either fuck up the microwave or invent a whole new recipe just to fit your cravings, there's no in between. He doesn't want to admit it but he has a secret folder in his phone of all the recipes to your favourite dishes from lunch meals to deserts; so now on every occassion, you can expect waking up to the fresh scent of your favourite food set on the table <3

Midnight joyrides are the best

Do y'all know those tiktok accs that own a motorbike and just drive around with their partners sitting behind them? That's exactly how i imagine what it would be like to be Jason's partner 👊👊 literally like; "bubs put on your helmet" "are we going out? at this time?" "what, you don't want to?" "well, yeah i do..." "good, i'll have the bike out front then" then you guys just drive around on his bigass bike zooming through the city. He'd also have his hands run down your leg that's straddling him from behind at every stoplight possible wkehwjhejwhd

Getting out of bed is almost impossible

The first time you two moved in together was really exciting, waking up finding yourself beside the love of your life sleeping peacefully to eating breakfast and dinner with them too. But as time went by, it became almost your mission everyday to get out of bed without being held back by Jason pulling you back under the sheets. You'd have to be sneaky to move his arm that's wrapped around your waist before his reflexes react soon enough; "mmh, going somewhere?" "jay, i gotta get to work" "10 more minutes love, i promise. I'll just drive you there it's much faster" "you said that 5 minutes ago— i'll be late again!" "are you saying you'd rather leave me alone?" "jace i–" "mhm exactly, so stay a'ight? you could just tell them you caught that flu" "i already did...two days ago..."

Absolutely adores your eyes, hands and waist

I'm a firm believer that Jason is a certified waist-grabber !!! you can expect the rough tips of his gloves glide over from your back all the way to your waist once he comes home from work. He also looooves looking into your eyes and see his reflection in them, the same eyes that showed nothing but pure love and kindness to him. And he also likes your hands; the size difference when you compare them, how they wrapped around his own, and how they cling onto him every chance you get. He thinks it's such a cute mannerism (if you have them too)

He asks for fashion advice, sometimes

Jason'll probably throw on a shirt, jacket, pants and boots then call it day before he met you— but he's even conscious of how colors looked on him now. You were his stylist, often picking out clothes and giving him new looks that you think looks best on him just because he once saw a photo of him and thought the shirt and pants he had didn't match at all. Jason always thought clothes only consists of hoodies, sweatpants, shirts, but now even knows what 'preppy' clothing is after you explained it to him.

His love language is words of affirmation and physical touch

This may vary to some people but i do hc Jason's love language to be words of affirmation and physical touch. Words of affirmation; only because he absolutely loves it when he tells you what he genuinely thinks of you at the moment. "You look great in red", "i'm proud of what you did there", "i love you, y'know that right?", "you look so gorgeous, i'm lucky to have you" and physical touch; because he's totally convinced he can't live without you by his side. Jason would want to be next or near you at any given chance, he'll have you scooted beside him while he reads a book or gently rub his hand against your thigh when he's focused on a movie. Your presence alone gives him the comfort he's always longing for in nights that he's away from home, and you'd glady give it to him.

Very protective over you

It's probably a known fact that Jason is a protective person but when it comes to you he can be over the top in making sure you're okay (especially when you're also a vigilante/hero working with him.) You'll always have to assure him that you're fine and not bleeding to death with a papercut or when you accidentlly stub your toe against the bed. But when you're also a crime-fighter like him, best believe he'll always have you stay and guarded behind him. You had to explain so many times that you could also take care of yourself like he can, though it's understandable why he acts that way most of the time.

Acts all tough, but melts when you're around

Around the times when Jason still had a lil crush on you, he'd never let his guard down and likes to appear cold or tough. But once you were dating he's an absolute shy babe even with the smallest gestures or compliments you give him. He'd only crack a smile at the side comments you make but is mentally falling apart. Or when he can't keep up the act he simply dips his head in the corner of your neck and stay there til he stops blushing like a teen getting his first kiss.

Is a part of the sassy man apocalypse

Sometimes, you question if this man is simply your bestfriend or your boyfriend of how many years. The amount of bickering the two of you end up having is like watching two friends fight over peanut butter vs chocolate. You'd suggest a book you've been reading that he absolutely despises and have a debate right there and then. It's almost like that one Friends scene when Joey and Rachel were giving spoilers back to back at each other LMAO. The man also has an unhealthy habit of popping a hip whenever he stands, your gallery would probably be filled with pictures of him in that stance alone.

[the-firebird69]

It's going to turn into a disaster again here and we'd like to avoid that there's a lot of screaming and yelling people we need them to go away and I don't want to hear it today and tomorrow I want them out there's nothing wrong with him doing his laundry and you're making everybody angry at you idiots he's not laundering money you are and if you keep talking about it what about him we're going to put it all out there and watch you disappear in a few days and we know where to put it if you don't care then we will and he says we should anyways but we're going to skip those people and it takes more than three days it takes 4 days

-several events taking place today one of them is we're noticing our son is under extreme duress we are calling for people to come and help take care of it the car and the e-bike and some other things have really helped out and he is putting in a solid effort in and she is too she's got a lot of stuff going and it's really greatly appreciated her work is very good and she's leading and together they decided to start doing it because they didn't want to live like they are and it was going ahead fast there's a lot going on we will thank them of course thank you for what they're doing and this other things in the news one of them is we found John remillard screwing around with the television today at his place saying he's going to fix the neighbor. But we do know that he is trying to do that and he has a microwave oven and we are going to insist that he's removed and we are now applying effort to do so and to remove him permanently we're tired of hearing it everyday every few minutes we're going after him. And that's another incident and others are pushing for that we have a program to do it but we need them out now his fleet was cut in half again he's down to 500 million ships and he is going to get lynched and he doesn't have anything tremendously special the people like Megan Markle need chips and he's been a bastard

-we're going ahead and we're going to declare state of emergency in Charlotte county and most of Florida and we're in it and we're doing it internally and we may do it with foreigners and others who are in positions of power we're going ahead with it and the max mostly are not end of Earth I'm going to call when people to do that and if the governor does we will cut his forces down

-another incident that was occurring 5 minutes ago is John remillard got out of jail and this walking around the neighborhood trying to get to the apartment and yes the remaining 10 other than himself and immediate family are going out there and these are the remaining regions of his that are here he is about 40 or 50 that left

-another incident was 5 minutes ago again at the apartment Dave AKA Dan magically appeared always been here but he didn't get in trouble earlier at the park and is for some reason out to lunch we are going to town on them very shortly additionally and we have reason to believe that both of them are trying to get weapons here because they've been trying for quite a while and more and more recently going back and forth to the house and we don't want them here we are going to pull their card and they're trying to become police here

-another incident the pseudo empire has launched and investigation into their doings and a complete one they really needed to they they're going after them.

-there are three more incidents Chuck Yeager is alive and well and announced it on TV and that's not an incident, there are five people here need to be arrested again and they got out from being arrested after Publix, seven people are out after being arrested at the park this morning they need to get arrested again those are the incidents

-there are major events beginning right now and he wants to keep these two together and so do I these incidents are annoying and they're distractions and they're done on purpose we have a situation with the pseudo empire and the clones and it's not getting better war started up today in a limited scale and it is going to increase for the phones it's hot and heavy it's going on now they are infiltrating each other and fighting each other off trying to get each other's businesses and going after each other on the roadway and it houses and it's mild today but it was new these pseudo empire is clear 100 to 150 by sifting and then we'll be done fairly soon they're remarkably fast and it's almost everywhere they're taking ships out

-another event continued from the last paragraph if they are taking ships out they let the last event and the morlock are beginning to fight them and the clones as I get closer to higher value ships they took out small ships and brought troops in to protect the operation the morllock did not and then not ready for it the clones did but not so much and they're not ready either. And there will be fighting in the county in Florida all over the world where these areas are there's a lot of them and it's going to be kind of heavy at times and a lot of it will be in tunnels the max are not happy with it please they'll each probably get something operation has not been slowed yet about an hour and a half they'll be done shifting and they're going to start excavating 50 to 150 is only about five on the West Coast it's only 15 total that's going to go rather quickly we'll have the holes opened they'll be down 3 miles and probably and then half so by Friday morning the diamonds will be ready to come out if the ships are not there and those tunnels do not lead inland that is wrong it's a mile you're my wide chips well they don't need it anyway no yes I do and I'm wondering who I'm arguing with and nobody I guess yeah I know who it is it's these idiots and someone saying Okeechobee is 60 ft across it wouldn't be named big water our son and daughter say if it was that small I can hit you in the head with a rock from across it. Further this war is going to heat up however at this rate the diamonds will be excavated by Friday midday or earlier and they're going to be taking the ships out now from 20 to 50 and it's going to take a while and until Friday morning and 50-100 those are big shifts. And they're saying that they won't take but a day so it goes into Saturday afternoon and 150 would take half a day so you know my Sunday like we said all the ships will be out but it's been kind of lame and it might go in the same time so it might be over on Friday or Saturday then they was trying to go for the golf and fighting Will unsue and they might fight over 50 to 150 ships are really 100 to 150 ships and diamonds but maybe not those are only 1200 ft except for 15 which there having to pull out so really nothing will start up in Earnest but they started fighting today

-other things in the news that are events the 19 96 firebird and it's 69 reversed which is significant it is going to head towards New York City shortly we think tonight if Trump is going there little outdone everything there so Trump says how does it feel to be threatened for stuff and our son says I think we're going to threaten you for your stuff cuz you're a stupid person and you look easy like a b**** you're sitting pretty and you're losing stuff so you don't care so that's even better we're going to do it too but he says he's going to sit there and threaten our son cuz he is having his car I really Tim Doyle considers it to be his own car and Tim Doyle is going to kill him and a lot of people want Trump dead and he's running and he is running saying he's doing this work with Thanos that's not really true but he keeps showing up. There's going to be problems between them no there's a war going on and he is going to force his way in and he's amassing all around it. What's the New York City once in New York City a series of films occur and they start fighting over tons of stuff and the money will come out of UMass Amherst area and it's our daughter and Son's money and it's a lot and there's been so robbery so around the planet for their money and people have figured out where it's going it's going to Florida.

-there are several more events that have begun the fire were moving has begun because of the massive army the Trump is creating and he wants to sit in New York and fix his problems and he's going to get a surprise tommy f will hit him. A couple more events bja was in the warpath against Trump and decided to amp it up and he said nothing all week and he looks like a wimp. We have several other things going on

-it seems to me a lot less oxygen here than people want the ship is in the way they want it out the pseudo empire and the clones are going to be getting fighting probably this coming Sunday and Monday it will intensify on Sunday night and then the ships will be attempted to be moved and quite often and for real also another battle is ensuing with the warlock who are going to go after the 5 to 20 ships now that fight is tonight and onward until they're emptied out there aren't any ships in the huge ones no there are they have to be uncorked but all this has to happen first.

-there's a huge number of people who are watching these events and trying to keep track and we're getting others to start monitoring and it's good

-there are several billion people heading towards the shore at each location and they all want ships and there is going to be a war over the remaining ships and the way of the gulf will begin and we will have time a little bit to get the car here when we were going to run out of it in just a couple weeks or less no the fight over it was just good and there are ships down there and they're big and they're all class A h the majority of them are.

-see more events are beginning a few more now one is our son's mom as I read at everybody and she's issuing warrants I'm practically everyone except our son

-along with those warrants issuing inquiries in what people are really doing once it written that way

Mother shortl

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[xxsp3llb0undxx]

For Twilight Prompts, maybe #5, 27 for Paul?

Bruises on my heart - Paul Lahote x GN!Reader

Request from anonymous

TW: Implications of cheating ,, curse words ,,

Disclaimer: Please do not repost my work to other sites or claim as your own, this is purely written from my imagination and from the help of the franchise. All rights of the main storyline goes to the writers and producers of Twilight.

Summary: Reader starts doubting their relationship with Paul, in which he tries his best to show them they are all he wants and needs in life.

#5 "Why am I always the second best?"

#27 "All I'm asking is you choose me for once, not her"

MASTERLIST ULEY PACK

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Saturday night. Only Paul and y/n knew what that night meant, their 3rd year anniversary. Yet where was he? Y/n had been sat at the dining table for the past 3 hours waiting for him to come home and spend time with them, but now it was 9pm and the dinner was cold, the night was ruined. A quiet sob left their lips as tears escaped the corners of their eyes, they didn't want to cry over something so little but it hurt, it hurt that he didn't care to even call to say he wouldn't be coming home, it hurt that he probably forgot about their anniversary, it hurt they had to go to bed alone that night. Y/n put Paul's dinner in the microwave for him for when he gets home, a post-it note stuck to the glass window so he knows his dinner was inside the small, electronic contraption. They walked upstairs and changed into their pyjamas, taking off their jewellery and any makeup what was still left on their face.

The bed felt bigger than usual, like they had shrunk until they were as small as a baby. The comforter swallowed them into the deep pits of darkness, tiredness soon washing over them. Y/n kept having dreams about Paul cheating on them, their heart yearning for him to come back to them. Morning soon came, the bright sun slipping through the curtains caused y/n to wake up. A yawn escaped their throat, they got up out of bed stretching their body, cringing at the cracks and pops of their joints. Turning around to look at the bed, y/n noticed Paul's side was left untouched. They finally had enough, sick of Paul blowing them off for god know what. Y/n just hoped it wasn't that girl he used to date, she was pretty and funny but she wasn't y/n, she wasn't his imprint. They just hoped the reason he bailed out on them wasn't for her.

Y/n finally made it to the reservation, it wasn't too far from their home roughly 10 minutes away. As soon as they got there, everyone was outside messing around together; some of them in their wolf forms while others were still in their human forms. The first person to notice y/n was Jared Cameron, Sam Uley's beta. He ran over to them and gave them a hug "Hey, where have you been? Everyone has missed you." Jared was like a brother to y/n, a very annoying younger brother. "I've just been busy, J. Have you seen Paul? I need to speak to him." The young wolf pointed towards the garage, where Jacob usually fixes the cars and bikes. Y/n thanked Jared and then they were off to the garage, before they were about to enter, they heard hushed voices talking; the voices belonged to their boyfriend Paul and (his ex and JACOBS SISTER!) Rachel Black. "Baby, hey. Just please give me another chance, we can make this work I promise." Those words broke y/n's heart. Was Paul really about to cheat on them? Without a second thought, y/n ran as far as they could away from the reservation.

Hours had passed since the conversation y/n had eavesdropped on, they didn't know how to react about what they heard. Y/n was sat in the bedroom when they heard the front door open and close, usually the noise would make their heart flutter and make them feel all giddy, but now they didn't care; all they wanted was to cry and scream. The bedroom door opened, the sight of Paul made their heart flip, he was so handsome. This stupid imprint shit always got in the way. "Hey, doll. I'm sorry I missed our anniversary dinner yesterday, something came up at the reservation." He went in for a kiss but y/n moved away from him, he looked hurt but they didn't need that right now, he hurt them. "What's wrong, doll?" Paul was now sitting down at the end of the bed, he kept fidgeting with his hands; something he's always done whenever he's nervous or anxious.

"Why am I always second best? Why am I always the last choice, Paul? Do you not love me anymore?" Y/n voice cracks at the last word, Paul stares at them guilt washing over him, what has he done to hurt the love of his life this much? "What do you mean, baby? You're not second best, you never have been and never will be. I love you with every inch of my soul." He was cradling their face at this point, trying to feel their skin against his own, he needed them to know they were the only one for him. "Then why her, Paul? Why were you with Rachel in the garage yesterday? Why is she always your first choice? All I'm asking is you choose me for once, not her." And that was his breaking point. He pulled y/n into an embrace, keeping them as close to him as possible. Tears streamed down both of their faces, sobs filled the room as they both clung to each other.

"I love you, okay? You are my imprint, you're the only person I need in my life. If you asked me to leave the pack, I would. If you asked me to up and leave with you to some random place, I would. I will scream to the world how much I adore you in every way possible, if that would make you believe me. I need you, darling, no one else. I want to have a family with you, I want to get married and grow old together. There is no one else in this world for me, you are my forever and always, you are my endgame." Y/n sniffled, never did they think Paul would ever say anything like that, he was always known as the scariest and worst tempered member of the pack but he was so soft and loving when he was with them. They were meant for one another.

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Thank you so much for requesting !!! I had so much for writing this, Paul is honestly one of my favourite characters. I hope you enjoyed reading this, please let me know if this isn't what you wanted, I don't mind rewriting it. Have a lovely day/night !!!

[dustofbrokenheart]

The Lost Boys: Stress Baking

GIF by losthavenmine 

Dwayne x Reader

Word Count: 955

Summary: Reader is having a stressful day and Dwayne does his best to support them. 

On Thursdays, Dwayne came over to your place. He always fed before heading over so that he wouldn’t have to leave until dawn, in the even that you wanted to stay in for the night.

Parking his bike, he prowled around to the back so that he could climb up and through your bedroom window. It was definitely more fun than using the front door and your attempts to yell at him made him chuckle. Sure, you scolded him every time, but you also never locked the window so it couldn’t have been that big of a deal.

He swatted the curtain away and the scent of cleaner was immediately all he could smell. That was curious. You didn’t do deep cleans too often.

Toeing off his Converse, he lined them up by your closet—unlike with the window, tracking shoes through the carpet actually made you upset.

Out in the hall, the smell was even more noticeable and there was an added aroma. Under ordinary circumstances it would’ve been enticing, but when mixed with disinfectant chemicals, it was just too much for his sensitive olfactory senses. He had only had the misfortune of smelling this one another time and he braced himself for what he might find.

As soon as he entered the kitchen, his suspicions were confirmed.

The linoleum floor was grime-free and the dish strainer was emptied of dishes. The stovetop sparkled like crystal, same as the microwave door. The anomaly was the center island where you were throwing a bunch of ingredients together in a bowl.

“Love,” Dwayne called softly. “What are you doing?”

“Dwayne! I’m just putting this together. Come over here, sit next to me.”

You were forearm deep into a large bowl kneading something, what he wasn’t sure yet. Ingredients and measuring cups scattered around the counter. Flour trails streaked across your cheek and when you went to rub it off, it only served to spread it around even more.

He inspected your hand and found dough underneath your nails. “You’ve been busy.”

Raising a piece to his mouth, you smacked him before he could eat it. He was such a weirdo sometimes...who ate raw food willingly? 

Determinedly kneading the dough, you hummed in affirmation. “I started off cleaning and when there was nothing left to clean, I decided I should bake something. I just started this batch so it may be a while until it’s ready—”

Cutting you off, he draped himself across your back. There was no value in letting you continue to ramble; he had already figured out that you were having a bad day.  

Whenever you became overwhelmed with stress, you always resorted to obsessive cleaning followed by a baking marathon. Knowing that you were upset sent Dwayne’s protective instincts into overdrive.

Not bothering to be subtle about it, he wound his arms around yours, trapping them so you were forced to stop mixing in the bowl.

You put up a fight, trying to twist your way out so you could continue but it was useless. The more you fought, the tighter he gripped. Not tight enough to hurt you but enough to keep you immobile. You weren’t going anywhere unless the vampire allowed it.

Nuzzling into your neck, he pressed a light kiss just under your ear. “Tell me what’s wrong, Y/N.”

The kiss combined with his soft voice was all it took to make you crack. Your shoulders sagged and your knees wobbled as you sniffed back tears before they could fall.

Dwayne accepted your full weight and dragged you down to the floor with him, bowl and all. He leaned against the cupboards, his legs propped up so that you were cradled by his body. Not wanting to rush you, he waited patiently for you speak.

When you were ready, you told him all about your terrible day. “I have that big project—the one I told you about—but I’m the only one in the group putting any effort into it and it’s due this week.

Then there was a situation with my car and when I took it in, they said it was going to cost a lot of money to fix it. Money I don’t have which means I need to pick up more hours. I don’t know how I’m going to juggle that, but its either come up with the money or not having a car at all.”

You nose was running and you paused to wipe it with the edge of your sleeve. “When I called the parents, they weren’t as understanding as I hoped. I melted down and here we are at my second batch of the night.”

Dwayne listened to your tirade without interrupting, comforting you with his steady presence and caring touches. After a moment, he grabbed your hands in his and both of you began to knead together, his fingers guiding yours.

At first, you blushed, unsure of what his intentions were but settled down when it clear that he only wanted to help you. The added weight helped to ground you. It was nice because you were able to enjoy the sensation of squeezing, your worries temporarily floating away.

“Well. There’s nothing wrong with cleaning.” There was a stubborn part of the mix that required extra attention. “And I love eating whatever you make, but you can talk things out with me, too. Always.”

“I know, I know. It’s just…today was tough.”

“I can talk to you about my night so far, if you want.”

You turned towards him and lightly bumped your head against him. “I’d like that.”

He hummed and you felt the vibration through your back. “Well, you aren’t the only one having bad luck. Laddie had a bad run in with the pigeons…”

_______________

Whew, it’s been a minute since I have time to write. This one was short but I wanted to get it posted. Hope everyone is doing well! 😊

[yeah-all-of-it]

One month later: Ian and Mickey are thriving in their new west side digs, still working together on the south side with their growing, successful armed transport business. Debbie moved to Texas with Franny and Heidi and she’s made a go of her handy woman business down there. Carl, upon going into business with Officer Tipping, moves into the apartment above The Alibi and turns it into his bachelor pad. The Gallagher house is now empty.

It makes no sense to sell an empty house that’s already paid for so Lip and Tami, with the unanimous blessing from the other siblings, decide to make it their home. They begin fixing it up a bit at a time just like Milton’s little rental that they loved so much and hoped to live in forever. Now this is their forever home. It’s no longer crowded, and it’s just theirs. Liam gets to keep his bedroom, they put Freddie and the new baby-to-be in the two smaller rooms, and turn the larger boys’ room into their room. They host the weekly dinners Lip promised Debs, even though she’s no longer close enough to attend. Sometimes they FaceTime her. Carl comes to the dinners with his new girlfriend (not Tish!) and Ian and Mickey always bring some new side dish that Ian has prepared, a few of them made with ingredients he has grown himself. (Ian has a newfound love for cooking which Mickey secretly adores because he loves seeing Ian in an apron wielding sharp knives and it means no more microwaved ramen noodles.) And at least a couple mornings a week, they all inexplicably find themselves congregating in the Gallagher kitchen, laughing, ribbing on each other, telling the occasional Frank story, enjoying a cup of coffee out of that same old, white, drippy coffee pot before heading off to work. They are all living separately now but are still very much a tight knit family.

Lip started helping Brad fix bikes on the side at Bob’s warehouse and, since Born Free is now a Cross Fit, there is a need for bike mechanics on the south side. Business is booming and has given Lip and Brad some of that financial security they have desperately needed for their families. Business is so good in fact, they are talking going into business together full time.

Yep, the kids are going to be alright.

[noladyme]

La Cuervo - Chapter 13

She is used to the biker-life, having grown into a woman in the familiar embrace of SAMCRO. A bad decision and a gun-shot later, she gets whisked off to Santo Padre, and put under the protection of another club. What is supposed to be a short stint in the Mayan headquarters just north of the border to Mexico, turns into something more; when la quervo begins to develop feelings for el angel - and he seems to return them in kind...

TW: violence, blood, drug use, alcohol, smut, fluff, angst

In the spirit of "The Crown Princess of Charming", this is a story about O.C. Nina and Angel Reyes. It is obviously non-canon, as characters who have passed on on Mayans M.C. are present in it, and others have been excluded completely. Nina is written as a cis-female, but I have tried to keep her race and looks as ambigous as possible. Should you find any of this story offensive, please let me know.

13.

Angel snuck out just after dawn; leaving Nina feeling sated, happy and loved. He refused to use the shower in the trailer, and instead headed for home; before he was meant to be back at the yard later in the morning.

It was bittersweet to kiss him goodbye, knowing that when he came back later in the day, he would be ignoring her; and probably having his hands all over another woman. The crumbled sheets on the floor were the only sign she’d not spent the night in there alone. They’d slept there, as there was only room for one person on each cot; and Angel wouldn’t let her out of his arms. Nina bit her lip and smiled at the memory of how the badass biker had clung to her like a baby-monkey, all night; as they’d lain in their makeshift nest. He’d buried his face in the crook of her neck, and made her giggle as his beard tickled the tender skin there. They’d fallen asleep like that, with her cradling Angel's head; and him with his arms wrapped around Nina’s waist.

A tired looking Bishop came out of the clubhouse just as she came out of the trailer; feeling a little more prepared for another shitty day on the lot, after having had the night she’d had. The president gave her a slight smile, before climbing onto his bike, and driving out of the gate; probably going home to get a few hours of sleep.

Riz was seated by the bar, with a mug of coffee and a newspaper. He looked at her with a slight frown on his face. “Hey, Nina… That thing about telling Bishop about the night Angel came by…”, he began. “We’re good, Riz”, Nina said. “You were just following our president’s orders”. Riz chuckled a little. “Yeah, well; it looks like Bish has been bending his own rules…”, he said, and pointed to her neck. Nina spun around and looked in the mirror, discovering a hickey the size of a small planet. “Shit! Goddammit, Angel…”, she growled. “I gotta cover this. Daniella will be here later”.

She sprang into the bathroom, and got the small makeup-kit she’d left there for emergencies there. The cover-stick didn’t do much to erase the evidence of her nighttime escapades. “You could say someone else left it, if she asks”, Riz offered, having appeared in the doorway. Nina sighed, and stomped back behind the bar. Coco and Gilly came through the door just then, ready for work around the yard. “That doesn’t make sense. I don’t go anywhere else. Who would I meet?”, Nina said. “What’s the problem?”, Gilly asked. Nina tilted her head, and let him and Coco look at her neck. “Fucking Angel…”, Gilly grunted. “She did”, Riz chuckled. Nina shot him a venomous look, but couldn’t help but smirk. “Daniella’s gonna notice. This could royally screw with the plan”, Nina said. Coco shrugged. “Nah. I got you, ma’”, Coco said. “Say it was me”. “That’s sweet of you; but I’m not sure it’ll work”, Nina said. “Sure it will”, Coco said. “Give me a sec”.

He dug out his phone, dialing up a number “Letty… No, the last microwave burrito is mine… What was that ding? You already took it, didn’t you… Fuck… Forget it. Look; Niña’s with me now”. Nina’s jaw dropped. “Not, not for real. It’s for a thing with the club… Just spread the word. And don’t touch the… You ate that too… Jesus Christ, Leticia… Just do this for me, would you…? Thanks”. He hung up the call, and shrugged at Nina. “See. Easy”. “Thanks…”, Nina said quietly; still unsure what had just happened.

They sat down for a quick cup of coffee, when EZ came in the clubhouse, hand in hand with Gabriella. The smiling girl carried a Tupperware box of deliciousness as usual, and sat it down in front of Nina. “Once you get into a place that has a real kitchen, I’ll teach you how to make those”, she smiled, as she opened the lid to reveal tamales. “Thanks, Gaby”, Nina smiled embarrassedly. “But I think you’ll realize pretty fast that no kitchen could ever make me a chef. I burnt a cup of tea once”. Coco hooked a curious finger over the edge of the box, and pulled it closer; looking pleased that there was enough for more than one. “So, you are together now?”, Gaby asked. Nina’s jaw dropped, but Coco just shrugged. “Letty works fast”, he said, and nabbed a tamale. EZ was the only one in the room that looked confused, until Nina pointed towards her hickey. “Fucking Angel…”, the prospect sighed. “She did!”, Riz called out from over his newspaper. “It’s just… pretend”, Nina muttered. “What…? You don’t think you’re good enough for me?”, Coco asked with a crooked smile. Nina laughed, and nudged him with her shoulder.

---

In the late afternoon, the guys were all busy around the yard, and Angel and Creeper had taken the truck out to pick up a load of scrap in a nearby town; which is why Nina almost screamed, when suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, as she was bent over a box of files in the front office. Angel pressed a kiss to the back of her neck, and turned her around in his grasp. “Fuck, you scared me!”, Nina said. “Sorry, mami”, Angel smirked. “You should be”, Nina smiled. “Don’t you know I killed a guy once?”. The more time had gone by, and distance she’d gotten to the night Gael died, she was able to joke about what had happened. It was sort of cathartic. Angel ran a hand down to cup her butt-cheek. “That pussy slays me every time”, he growled into her ear, before attacking her neck with kisses. “Angel, stop!”, Nina said. “Someone might see…”.

Creeper stepped inside, and chuckled at the sight of the two of them. “Living dangerously”, he said. “Camille needs the bathroom. She doesn’t like the one in the clubhouse”. “Camille is here?”, Nina gasped. “We picked her up at Vicky’s tunnel on the way back”, Angel said. As Creeper went outside again to get Camille, Nina tried to shrug Angel off. “It’s good, cuervo. She won’t talk”. Nina sighed, and let him give her a soft kiss.

Camille and Creeper came into the office. The red-head looked like she’d been through hell and back; with dark bruises up and down her arms, and a black eye. Nina had to bite her lips to keep from crying when she saw her. “It’s back there”, Angel said, and nodded his head in the direction of the bathroom. Camille nodded, and quietly slipped by them; limping slightly. “Oh my god…”, Nina rasped. “I did that”. Angel tightened his hold on her, and cupped her face with one hand. “No, you didn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong”. “But she’s… Did you look at her?”. She looked at Creeper. “Did she say anything?”. Creep simply shook his head sadly. Angel frowned, and took Nina’s hand.

He led her out of the office, and towards the clubhouse. “She’s gonna be ok”, he said, as Nina slipped out of the scrap yard shirt. As sat down by the bar with a cigarette, Angel got her a cold beer from the fridge, and sat down next to her; letting his hand rest on her thigh. “The doc said there’s no lasting injury”. “Maybe not to her body…”, Nina said. “But what she went through…”. She took a big sip of her beer, wiped her eye of a stray tear. Angel leaned forwards, and placed a gentle hand on the back of her neck, to kiss her forehead. “We’ll fix this. And Palo’s already agreed to pay Camille for what Sala did to her”. “He wasn’t alone… And money can’t fix shit like that…”, Nina croaked. “I know…”, Angel frowned. “And at some point, we’ll make all the Vatos pay”.

Creeper came into the clubhouse with Camille, and handed Angel the keys to the truck. “I’m gonna take her home”, he said. “Tell Bish I’ll be back later”. “Yeah”, Angel replied. Nina got on her feet, and walked over to Camille. She met the woman’s eyes, and let out a deep breath. “I am so sorry…”, she said. “I can’t even…”. Camille shook hear head, and dropped her gaze. “No… Don’t feel sorry. I shouldn’t have…”. She sighed, and looked at Creeper, who put an arm around her. “Let’s go…”, he said softly, and led Camille out of the clubhouse again.

Nina took a long moment to try to gather herself. Angel came over and put his arms around her. There really wasn’t anything he could say. Nina felt the weight of the guilt for what happened to Camille weighing her down like all the barbells in Angel’s bedroom. If she hadn’t killed Gael, he would have hurt her – bad – but at least it would just have been her. “What can I do?”, Angel finally said; admitting that he was at a loss. Nina nuzzled up against his chest. “Tell me I’m not a shitty person…”, she sighed. “And tell me you love me”. Angel cupped her face, and made her look at him. “You’re one of the best and kindest people I’ve ever met. And I love you…”, he said earnestly. Nina felt a smile tug at her lips. “More than your bike?”. Angel scrunched up his face, and shrugged. “Well…”. She laughed, and punched him softly in the gut. “Ow… You share the first place”, Angel grinned.

The door opened, and Bishop and Taza came inside. “Put a crowbar between those two”, Bishop grunted at Taza. “Your girlfriend is coming in”, Taza said. Angel and Nina immediately stepped away from each other, and Nina went behind the bar.

When Daniella stepped into the clubhouse, the mood instantly changed. Angel turned to her with a smile, and kissed her cheek; while Daniella shot Nina a poisonous look. “Are you finished around here?”, she asked Angel. “Maybe we could go somewhere else?”. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and pressed against him. Angel threw an arm around her shoulder, and made her follow him over to a table. “Yeah, but I was thinking we’d hang out here”, he said. He didn’t want to go anywherewith Daniella. The blonde rolled her eyes, but finally settled on Angel’s lap – making Nina discretely grind her teeth.

She handed beers to the arriving clubmembers. Hank, Riz, Gilly and Coco came through the door, as Daniella was unsuccessfully trying to seduce Angel into taking her back to his place. Hank and Riz joined Taza and Bishop over some maps for the run the next day; while Gilly and Coco joined Angel by his table. Daniella was laying it on thick, seemingly determined that this would be the night she finally got Angel between her legs again; or at least get her head in his lap. Nina wanted to scream. She noticed the sequined purse Daniella had brought the night before; and when she saw the woman run a hand down Angels chest – her goal obviously being his crotch – Nina couldn’t take it anymore. She nabbed the purse, and almost sprang for the table. “Daniella, is this yours?”, she smiled as sweetly as she could. Angel gave her a short thankful look, as she handed the purse to the blonde. “Yeah… I left it last night”, Daniella said coldly. She took the purse and looked up and down Nina’s body, halting at her neck. “You got a little something… New boyfriend?”, she almost hissed.

Nina gulped, and felt all blood drain from her head, unable to answer. Angel looked between her and the woman on his lap; and it was clear he knew he’d fucked up with his trademark marking of Nina the night before. “I’m…”, Nina croaked. “Yeah…”, Coco said, and tugged at Nina’s wrist; making her sit down on his lap, and placing his arm casually around her waist. He gave Angel a short look. “We good?”. “Yeah”, Angel nodded, and let a smile ghost his face. “We’re good, carnal”. Daniella rolled her eyes, and let out a short, scoffing laugh. She opened her purse, pretending to look for something; but very obviously trying to get Angel to pay attention to the condoms in there. “Baby, let’s just go…”, she said.

Riz and Taza came over to the table; the latter with his phone in hand. “Palo’s coming in”, he said. Bishop and Taza were folding up their maps, and putting them out of sight. “Trouble?”, Gilly asked “Just him and Sala, so no guns”, Hank replied. “They’re bringing the restitution-money”. Angel used the opportunity to get Daniella off his lap. She grudgingly went into the bathroom to fix her make-up. “Fuck it. That’s not enough!”, he said, and checked that his gun was loaded. “You saw what they did to Creeper’s girl”. “She’s everyone’s girl, man”, Gilly smirked. “Even I hit that”. “When?”, Riz asked. “Day before you”, Gilly shrugged. Nina was beginning to get annoyed with the Mayan’s talking about Camille. “You know, women can have needs too!”, she said. “If you wanna slut-shame, how about you start with yourselves…? You share women like they’re lighters for your blunts!”. Angel gave her a short apologetic look. He’d probably had a go at Camille himself, at some point. Coco patted her arm. “We ain’t slutshaming, ma’”, he said. “A woman wants to have sex, and offers it up; that’s all good… This girl, though… It ain’t about the sex…”.

The sound of two bikes came from outside, and Nina was about to get off Coco’s lap, when he held her down. “Don’t. They won’t think to look at you, as long as you’re with one of us”, he whispered. Angel nodded softly; and after a hard look from Bishop, he put his gun back in his waistband.

The door opened, and Palo and Sala stepped inside. They didn’t seem to need an invitation anymore. Bishop stepped up to Palo, and shook his hand curtly. “Palo…”, he said, before extending the gesture to Sala. The Vato enforcer looked around the room, his eyes merely brushing over Nina for a second. Coco had been right, and Nina couldn’t help but let out a relieved sigh. Coco lit a cigarette, before gently tapping her hip, to make her get up. Apparently, greetings were finished, and she was in the clear. Bishop glanced over at her. “Beers…”, he muttered. “Where’s the prospect?”. “Date night”, Angel said. Bishop scoffed.

Nina went behind the bar, and nabbed a round of beers for the men, who all went to sit down around one of the larger tables. Bishop clearly didn’t want Palo and Sala in templo. Daniella came out of the bathroom, and Sala’s head instantly snapped in her direction. She looked a bit caught off guard, and almost ran to stand by Angel’s chair. She put a hand on his shoulder, and he reluctantly gave it a light squeeze. It was like a Mexican standoff. As Nina set down a beer in front of each biker, she looked between the man she loved; the man she pretended to be sleeping with; the woman who the man she loved had to pretend he wanted to sleep with, who also might be the snitch selling out the Mayans to the man, whose cousin Nina killed; who also happened to be at the table. The VM president sat as if he owned the place, and though not a word was spoken, his silence spoke for him. The tension in the room was thick enough to carve with a knife, and the fear was clutching Nina’s lungs in a vice grip. Fuck. Not now, Nina though; a panicked expression reaching her face.

Bishop looked up at her, and recognition struck his face. Giving Coco a discrete look, the younger biker cleared his throat. “You need me here, jefe?”, he asked. “I made plans…”. “No. Go on”, Bishop said, and Coco got on his feet; quickly stepping over to wrap an arm around Nina’s shoulders. “Let’s go, mami”, he said, and led her out of the clubhouse. Palo and Sala seemed indifferent at their leaving, but Nina still couldn’t seem to calm her breathing, and her lungs wouldn’t allow any oxygen to enter.

Once out of sight of the windows and door, Coco made Nina sit down on a crate; and she pulled out her inhaler, and took a hit. Once she was able to breathe properly again, she looked up at Coco. “Thanks… I’m sorry”, she said. “No need to apologize, niña”, Coco smiled. He looked back towards the clubhouse. “We need to get out of here, though. Those putos think we’re gonna go fuck”. Nina gave him a soft smile. “I like you, Coco; but I’m not fucking you”, she teased. “Pfft. You couldn’t handle this anyway”, Coco chuckled. “Come on. Letty’s making dinner as an apology for eating my burrito and my hotwings”.

He took her hand, and made her stand, before leading her over to his bike.

---

After a night spent in good company, a decent meal, and watching Coco and Leticia fight over a game of Uno, Nina was full; and in a much better mood. Angel called Coco at 11 pm, letting him know that Palo and Sala had left, and it was safe to bring Nina back. At this point, Nina had been exhausted; and had decided to take up the offer of sleeping on Coco’s couch instead.

Coco took her back to the yard in the morning. It was the day of the gun-run, and Angel met them in front of the clubhouse. Nina got off the bike, and looked hesitantly at him. “Clubhouse is on lockdown for the run. No outsiders”, he said, and walked over to wrap his arms around her. He kissed her warmly, before looking at Coco. “Thanks”. Coco nodded, and winked at Nina; before walking into the clubhouse.

“Who are you meeting with?”, Nina asked, as they walked towards the trailer. “Happy, T.O. and Chibs”, Angel replied. She opened the door and they stepped inside. “That’s not a lot of Sons if VM shows up for trouble”, Nina said. Angel must have noticed her worried expression, because he pulled her into his arms. “We’ll all will be fine. Even if the Vatos show up, there won’t be a fight”, he said, and stroked her temple. Nina wrapped her arms around his waist. “But they want your business with the Sons”, she said. “And the Sons won’t give it. They’re not gonna profit of killing any SOA patch; and together we’ll outnumber them, even with EZ staying behind here”. Nina looked confused, and Angel smiled; pressing a kiss to her lips. “You didn’t think we’d leave you alone here…? You might try to cook for us”. She chuckled, and kissed him back. “You never actually tasted my cooking”, she said. “No. I value my life too much”, Angel smirked, and pressed his tongue into her mouth before she could reply.

For a long moment, they let themselves get lost in their kiss, before someone cleared their throat. EZ was standing in the doorway, looking sheepish. “Sorry… Bish says it’s time”, he said. “Tell him I’ll be there in a minute”, Angel said over his shoulder. EZ left them to it, and Angel returned his focus to Nina. “This thing with Dani… I’m not getting anything more out of her. She left just after you and Coco; like she was scared of the Vatos”. “She was probably just scared you’d make her as the snitch…”, Nina grunted. “Yeah, we think so as well”, Angel said. “She’s coming by later, and I’m gonna end it”. “But…”, Nina began. “Bishop agrees. Kissing her ass isn’t working… We might have to be more drastic”. Nina felt her heart stop for a few seconds. “Angel… No, don’t hurt her!”, she said. Angel sighed heavily. “We’ll probably just… put her somewhere for a while. Keep her phone and favorite nail polish out of reach”, he said. “She’ll cave after a few nights tied to a chair in one of our storage-containers”.

Nina blew out a deep breath. “I don’t want anyone else hurt because of me… Even if it is her”. Angel cupped her face, and pressed a passionate, almost devouring kiss to her lips. “Te amo, cuervo”, he said. “You’re too good for this life”. She chuckled slightly, before turning her attention to the door. The Mayans were gathering in the yard, and beginning to get on their bikes. “Go… I’ll be fine”, she said. “Where’s your gun?”, Angel asked. Nina gestured towards the table, where the .38 was laying, next to her extra inhaler. “Good. Just in case”. He kissed her one last time, before going out to join his patch-brothers.

Nina waved them off from the doorway to the trailer, before looking at EZ; who was standing on the porch, with a Tupperware box in his hands. “Chilaquiles!”, he smiled. Nina looked seriously at him. “Marry that woman!”.

---

With both the clubhouse and the scrapyard on lockdown, Nina spent the morning following Chucky around with a clipboard. The funny little man had decided to do status-count on the scrap; a ridiculous idea in Nina’s opinion, but she humored him. Chucky liked to keep busy.

“That’s… 17,3 refrigerators”, Chucky said; after having counted the items in yet another scrap-pile. “Point three?”, Nina chuckled. Chucky pointed at a stray fridge-door on the ground. “Point three it is”, Nina said, and wrote it down. They went back towards the clubhouse, and Nina saw Daniella standing on the porch with EZ. “You’re not supposed to be here”, the prospect said. “Because you’re on lockdown? Are you forgetting I’m your brother’s woman…?”, Daniella sneered. “I come and go as I please”. Nina went to pass them, trying to ignore the blonde. “Angel won’t be back for another few hours”, she muttered. “I came to talk to you”, Daniella said. Nina halted in front of the door. “Why?”, she asked. “Girl talk”, Daniella smiled. She walked down from the porch, and towards the trailer.

EZ looked at Nina, as Daniella walked away. “I saw her coming out of the trailer about ten minutes ago. I think she was looking for you”, he said bellow his breath. “How long was she in there?”, Nina asked. “I don’t know. Bishop had me polish the table while they’re gone…”, EZ replied disgruntledly. Nina sighed, handed Chucky the clipboard, and got down from the porch; bracing herself for a confrontation.

Daniella was seated on the cot opposite Nina’s sleeping place. Nina sat down across from her, and met her eyes. “Have a seat…”, she said sarcastically. “Comfy…”, Daniella jeered, and patted the cot. “What did you wanna talk about? We haven’t exactly been friendly”, Nina said. “And we’re not gonna start now”, Daniella replied. “I came to tell you to back off Angel”. Nina swallowed thickly. “I’m with Coco now”, she said, trying for calm. “Bullshit”, Daniella replied. “I know that’s just to rile Angel up. You’re trying to get him back… Which is weird, because I thought you were going back north, with those Sons of Anarchy guys”, Daniella said. “You seemed kind of hot and heavy dancing with their president at the party. Good job on moving up in the hierarchy…". “You though I was about to dump Angel for him…”, Nina said, more as a statement than a question. “Well, you’re good at working your way up the ladder quickly", Daniella said. “A few weeks ago, you were just a hangaround; but all of a sudden, you’re doing my job… And my man". “This is ridiculous”, Nina scoffed. “I’m done with Angel. You’re welcome to him”. It chaffed to utter the words. Daniella drew back her lips in a sneer. “I’m not stupid! I saw you two the other night when I came back for my purse…”. Nina almost gasped. Racoons, my ass; she thought. Daniella raised a smug eyebrow at her. “Angel is mine. And I am not letting him go”.

Nina sighed, and shook her head. “So, what’s your big plan…?”. “Like I said, I used to have your job around here; taking care of the clubhouse, keeping the patches happy”, Daniella cut her off. “I know how MC’s work; and how to listen, while pretending not to be. I know how to get the kind of info I need, to get what I want… Also, that Sala guy talks a lot, when he’s drunk. Asthmatic prostitute? You fit the bill”. Nina fought the urge to claw her eyes out. “You killed that guy Palo’s cousin, and he seems like the eye for an eye kind of person…”. “What are you talking about?”, Nina said. “Well, he wants you dead… but maybe he’ll settle for the next best thing”. Daniella placed something on the table, sliding it over to Nina. She gasped when she saw the picture of Abel and Thomas. Looking up to meet Daniella’s eyes, she saw nothing but contempt. “Yeah. I thought that might get your attention”. “They’ll never find…”, Nina began. “Nero Padilla’s farm, in Norco”, Daniella said. She put her hand on top of Jackson’s journal. “Your brother wrote a lot of shit down. Maybe he shouldn’t have”. “You didn’t…”, Nina croaked. “No, not yet”, Daniella said. She sighed, and leaned back in her seat, arms crossed. “Look, I don’t give a shit about what they do to you; but Angel’s gonna get himself killed, if he tries to get revenge for them hurting you… So, I kind of need you alive”. “What are you saying?”, Nina asked. At this point, she was confused beyond belief. Daniella was supposed to be the snitch, but then why didn’t she just come clean about that right now? She already had Nina’s life and family in a vice grip. “You’re gonna break it off with him... You’re gonna leave, and never come back. Or… I give this info to the Vatos”.

Nina felt her heart race from fear and rage. She placed her hand on the table, fingertips grazing the handle of the .38 laying there. “You know what I did…”, she said. “What makes you think I won’t just kill you?”. In that moment, she was sure she could do it. “The fact that I removed the bullets from that gun the second I got in here”, Daniella replied. “And I have people waiting for my call. Specifically, Sala, who’s a sucker for good head; like another person we know”. “You absolute bitch…”, Nina hissed. “Yeah…”, Daniella smiled. “So, what am I gonna tell him? Am I just gonna politely decline that date he’s asked me on? Or do I tell him about two little boys, whom I have on good authority are connected to the woman who killed Palo’s cousin…?”.

Nina suddenly noticed she’d clenched her fists so hard, that her nails had drawn blood from her palms. Her Angel; her love. The thought of his hands on her body, and his grip on her heart. The way he looked at her, which made her feel like no matter what shit life threw her way, she could still be happy; because someone as special as him was in her life, and wanted her. Her nephews – Jackson’s boys. She loved those kids as she had him. She had no doubt in her mind that Daniella would make good on her promise to sell them out, to get what she wanted. Nina’s next move would be a matter of life or death to the last living link she had to her brother. It was the most difficult thing she’d ever had to do, but there was no way she could or would ever sacrifice the lives of those two little boys. She had already killed a person – no matter how despicable he was – and another had been beat and probably tortured in her name. Abel and Thomas were innocent; and they were not going to be victims on her account.

“OK…”, she whispered; her heart shattering in a million pieces as she did. Daniella looked dumbfounded. “Really? You’re gonna chose them over Angel…?”, she said. “Wow, you really don’t deserve him!”. “No. I’m choosing to do the right thing. I’m not the kind of psycho that will let children get hurt, to get what I want”, Nina hissed through her teeth. Daniella shrugged. “You have until tonight. If you’re still here past midnight… I don’t think I need to finish that sentence. Do we have an agreement?”. “Yes”, Nina croaked. “Now please leave…”. “I’m sticking around until I know you’ve done what I told you”, Daniella laughed. Nina slammed his fist into the table. “Get the fuck out of this trailer, before I stab you in your diseased cunt!”, she growled.

Daniella got to her feet, and went to leave; before halting in the doorway. “Don’t worry about Angel. I’ll take good care of him”, she smiled, walked outside, and closed the door behind her.

---

tags: @cole-winchester @doloreschanal

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Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time

Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them

In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already

I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because

Ike has freckles

Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc

Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly

Bebe got named in episode 2

Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though

Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way

Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)

The mayor went to Princeton

South Park is next to Mt. Evanson

Kenny will literally drink gasoline

Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade

Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex

Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid

Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower

Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy

Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men

Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”

Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06

A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though

Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude

Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi

Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline

Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy

Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)

Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy

Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says “idk eric they just do”

Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population

When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman

Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true

Kenny’s family says grace

Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)

Clyde got named in S01E10

Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3

Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and  screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back

Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down

In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3

Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11

Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”

Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal

Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is

Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11

Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun

Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”

Kenny has a sack of marbles

The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)

Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)

Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter

Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand

The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion

Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin

Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help

Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13

A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived

Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend

Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.

Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating

Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet

And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times

S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him

S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down

S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off

S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game

S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive

S01E06 Death touches Kenny

S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane

S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue

S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him

S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face

S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him

S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000

If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.

[lilwenney]

LONDON BOY (pt. i)

pairing: will x female!reader warning(s): none word count: 3.2k a/n: WHAT A LOVELY LITTLE SURPRISE x coming in five days sooner than originally planned. this is part one of an eventual two-part series. and whoever sent me an anon months ago saying an imagine based off london boy by taylor swift writes itself, you are correct, & i thank you for putting the idea into my head. i hope u all enjoy x 

London September, 2019

A nautical twilight began to set over London as (Y/N) trekked home from the Edgeware station. Her headphones were perched over her head and she listened to the sweet sounds of an indie song while admiring the turn of the blue sky. In the distance, behind the towering London skyline, night had fallen. Unlike all of the other days she rushed home right after class, this day she was taking her time, enjoying the warm, late-summer breeze and the smell of the rain in the air. 

She had been cooped up in a university computer lab for five hours that day, working on a digital clip for one of her courses, so now she was taking her chance to stretch her legs and take the deep breath she had desperately needed hours ago.

Just a little ways from her flat, while crossing the street, her phone vibrated in her hand. It was a text from a food delivery service, saying that they were on their way to her address with her order. Even though she had lived in London for just two months, she had already caught on to a few things. And ordering food on the tube knowing that she would make it home just as they pulled up with her delivery was one of them.

And just like always, as she crossed the street to her building, someone on a bike pulled up right next to the entrance. She confirmed her order number and the woman handed her the bag, and with ease, (Y/N) scanned her key and headed into the residential building, taking the lift to her floor. 

Shoving her key into the lock, she turned it and pushed the door open, greeted with a hello and the smell of food wafting from the kitchen. “Hey Marg,” she said in response, dropping her key into the small bowl on the foyer table. 

Toeing off her own trainers under the table, she looked down to see another pair of unfamiliar shoes next to hers. She raised a brow, not recognizing them from any of the friends who came to visit often. “Whose shoes are those?” She asked, walking into the kitchen and into view of her flatmate, Margot. She crossed the hardwood floors and to the dining table, setting her bag of takeaway down. 

Margot hummed, plating her dinner. “Oh, those are Will’s.” 

“Will?” 

“My brother,” she said slowly, looking over to (Y/N) and the girl just shrugged before sitting down at the table and pulling out her food. “The air system broke in his flat so he’s staying in our guest room until it’s fixed. Should only be a couple of days.” 

She nodded, deciding to not ask anymore questions. It was a common occurrence for people to come over and spend the night, mostly Margot’s friends. Her and Margot had only been living together for two months now, so there were still some things they were figuring out about each other. 

When (Y/N) moved in, her and Margot hit it off quickly, and within six hours of her finishing her unpacking, they were sitting on her unmade bed with a bottle of wine talking about their lives and spilling secrets they swore they would never tell anyone else. 

By the end of the night, (Y/N) found out that Margot came from Newcastle, she had a dog and a boyfriend, and that she was the youngest out of three, and Margot knew that (Y/N) was originally from California, an only child, and that she loved the occasional night out with a vodka soda in hand. 

They had almost an entire year to find out more about each other. There was no shortage of time. 

(Y/N) was only staying in London for a year to study abroad, it was a spur of the moment decision that led her halfway across the world, moving in with a complete stranger, and living in a foreign world. And so far, she loved every single second of it.

“What are you doing this weekend?” She asked, popping open the lid to her chicken and noodles. 

Margot flipped off the stove and walked over to the table, sliding her plate down in front of the seat next to her flatmate. “I’m going to Charlie’s tomorrow morning. He’s gotta finish editing and stuff so we’re just going to hang out.” 

Charlie was Charlie Albarn, Margot’s photographer boyfriend. They had been dating since Margot first moved to London a couple of years back. (Y/N) had only met him twice, but she liked him. He was cool enough to help her with photoshop for an entire night when she desperately needed to get an assignment done and was on the verge of a panic attack. 

“What about you?” 

(Y/N) shrugged. “I don’t know yet. It’s supposed to be nice this weekend and I want to do something new besides staying in all day.” 

“Do you have anything in mind?” Margot asked.

“No, not yet,” she said, standing and grabbing a drink from the refrigerator and returning to the table. “I have done all the… touristy things. I want to do something new besides going to the same shopping centre or fighting against a thousand people walking down the street.” 

“You went to Piccadilly?” 

“You didn’t warn me!” She called out and Margot let out a laugh.

“Everyone should experience the absolute hell that is Piccadilly at least once in their lives. It’s a bloody nightmare.” 

(Y/N) laughed, picking up her noodles with the chopsticks and taking a bite. For the next hour, they ate together, talking about their busy schedule and the nonsense that ensued during the day - Margot had missed her train, making her late for class, and she panicked before realizing her professor was standing right behind her and he had also missed the train, and (Y/N) had accidentally tripped in front of a tour group while jogging up the library stairs, and of course, laughter followed. 

Margot cleaned up her mess, washing the dishes from dinner while (Y/N) tossed her trash in the bin and walked down the hallway to her bedroom to take a shower. She stripped of her clothes and tossed them into her hamper, stepping in and allowing the hot water to steam the bathroom and wash all of her stress and worries away. Sometimes, long days and the university life truly got the best of her. Even though she loved it and wouldn’t regret studying abroad, it was tiring and overwhelming most days. 

If it wasn’t a Friday night, she would already be in bed with the blankets over her head. Instead she put on her pajamas, wrapped her hair in a towel, and lounged on the sofa with Margot when she finished the dishes. They laid facing each other on opposite ends of the sofa and flipped through channels and streaming sites before settling on re-watching episodes of their favorite series that they could watch without worrying about falling asleep in the middle of it.

An hour later, in the quiet hum of the flat, the lock on the door clicked open and (Y/N) shot up, her hands gripping the soft cushion beneath her as her wild eyes met Margot’s. “Is someone there?” She asked, her heart skipping a beat in surprise. 

Margot nodded, screwing the cap of her bottle back on as she glanced down the hallway. “Yeah, yeah, it’s just Will. I gave him a key earlier when he left for dinner.” 

She plopped back against the arm of the sofa with a sigh of relief. The door shut and footsteps began to trail down the hallway, and she turned the volume on the television down as a body stepped around the corner. 

(Y/N) looked up and away from the television, landing on a tall figure standing in the doorway. It was Will. Her eyes landed on him and she quickly took in the sight of his dark hair, his sharp jaw, and even caught a glimpse of his black jersey before she looked back at the screen so he wouldn’t catch her lingering gaze.

“What you doing back so early?” Margot finally asked when he stepped into the room. 

Will lowered down onto one of their chairs, picking up the throw pillow and holding it in his lap. “Didn’t even get dinner. Just wound up at Alex and George’s and hung around for a bit.” 

“So you came back to eat the dinner you knew I was fixing?” 

He looked at her and smiled wide. Eyes trained back on the screen, (Y/N) laughed lightly when she saw just how far he and Margot’s relations went. They shared a few physical qualities, and when she noticed his teasing smile, she knew they were siblings for certain. Margot had pulled the same smile on her numerous times. 

Margot sighed in defeat. “There’s a plate in the microwave for you.” 

“Right, right,” he jumped up and turned around, walking into their connecting kitchen where he grabbed the plate from the microwave. “It’s like you knew I was starving.” 

“No, just knew you liked to steal food so I made extra.” And (Y/N) heard his laugh from the other room and she smiled. 

A few seconds later, his feet tapped against the floor and he walked back into the living room, lowering down into his chair with the plate of food in hand. 

“Oh,” Margot looked at her flatmate and smiled warmly, “(Y/N) this is my bastard of an older brother William, and Will, this is (Y/N).” 

In the semi-dark living room, their eyes met across the coffee table and they quietly said hi to each other with a smile. She noticed how the corners of his lips met his eyes with a smile, and when he took a bite of the vegetables on the plate, she realized once again, she was staring. So she cleared her throat and quickly looked away, her eyes meeting the television where the characters were talking, and then she noticed the time on the clock on the wall.

“I should probably go to bed soon.” She said when the clock hand showed near ten thirty. It was around the time she went to bed every night unless she was up studying or finishing homework. 

Will raised his head at her voice, taking note of the lack of a British accent. Margot had told him about her briefly, but he hadn’t paid much attention after the words “uni student.” At first glance, he thought she was cute. 

Margot looked up from her phone. “Have you figured out what you are doing tomorrow?” 

She yawned and shook her head. “No, not yet. I will probably just pick something to do in the morning and go with it.” 

“What’s goin’ on?” Will creased a brow, glancing at his sister and then to (Y/N).

“I’m trying to figure out something to do tomorrow. The non-touristy, crowded stuff though. I have had my fair share of fighting crowded streets and pubs.” She explained. “And I can’t think of anything that I want to do. But I just want to get out and do something.” 

“Ah, there’s this really cool place that’s out in the middle of like, fucking nowhere, but it’s a huge building filled with neon signs.” 

She laughed. “Do you remember what it was called?” 

Will paused and then tilted his head as if searching through his memory. He looked back at her and squinted. “I’ll get back to you on that.” 

“Okay,” she laughed again before standing up from the sofa, “I’m heading to bed. I’ll see you two tomorrow.” 

The siblings quietly said their good-nights and (Y/N) walked down the hallway to her room, shutting the door behind her, and she slipped under the covers with ease, falling asleep no less than minutes after her head hit the pillow.

***

The West London flat was quiet the next morning. Slowly, the sun rose above the horizon and peeped through the buildings of the skyline, filtering in through the curtains of (Y/N)’s room. She woke up a couple of hours after Margot had left, once gently awakened by the opening and closing of the door down the hallway at eight a.m. sharp, and then she fell back asleep for as long as she could.

She woke up and pulled herself from the depths of her bed, facing the day once and for all at ten a.m.. Sliding on her slippers and walking into the connecting bathroom, she quickly brushed her teeth and then brushed her hair before stepping out of her room and into the hallway. The flat was cold and still, the only sound coming from the slight hum of the air conditioning through the vents. 

Margot was gone and Will wasn’t awake yet, so she was trying to be as quiet as possible while she made up a quick breakfast. But her attempts at being quiet were another’s “banging pots and pans.” And that’s exactly what she sounded like to Will.

Plating her eggs and slices of bacon, she heard the quiet rustle of the comforter from the guest room and then the door clicked open. A second later she turned to see Will walk into the kitchen - he was yawning, rubbing his tired eyes with the heel of his palm. He was wearing a jumper and a pair of shorts, hair disheveled from his sleep. 

“What are you doing awake?” She asked innocently, using the spatula to shovel the rest of the food onto another plate. After last night and him insisting Margot also fix him dinner, she made sure to make extra for him. 

“I woke up after the… third time you burnt the toast? When you were trying your best to whisper.” 

(Y/N) felt the back of her neck heat up in embarrassment. “You heard that?” 

“All the ‘shits’ and ‘fucks.’” 

“Ah, you must have missed the ‘bullshits.’ Those were in the mix too.” She picked up the extra plate and turned around, holding it out for him as she walked towards the dining room. 

Will dropped his hand and looked down at the plate. “Ah, you didn’t have to fix me anythin’.” He said and she picked up on his gravely morning voice. 

“I know. Just felt like you would want some anyways..” She sat her plate down on the table and grabbed a juice from the refrigerator before returning to her normal chair at the dining table. 

He looked at her and smiled sleepily before following her steps over to the table. Like Margot last night, he pulled out the chair across from her and lowered down, taking his fork and diving into the food in front of him. 

“You decided what you’re doing today?”

She tsked. “Kind of. Just know there are a couple of places I want to go, but I haven’t really planned it out yet.” She said before glancing back down to her plate. “I found the neon sign place you were talking about. It’s way north, but not too long on the tube.” 

“Yeah, can’t remember the name of it for the life of me. It’s fuckin’ weird though.” He said and she laughed, taking another bite of her food. Will looked at her for a second before dropping his head back down, poking his fork at the eggs, mind swirling through his plans for the day, and then he looked back up to her. “But I know the area pretty well, so I can show you, if you want me to.” 

Her head snapped up and she looked at him with a small smile. “Yeah?” He nodded and she followed along. “Then, yeah, yeah, you’re more than welcome to come along if you’re not doing anything.”

“Ah, I planned on fixing lunch, probably end up burnin’ it, and then waiting for Margot to get back.”

“Well,” she laughed, “I can promise you a slightly more eventful day than that.” And he smiled at her before they turned back to their breakfast. 

An hour later, after eating and washing the dishes, the two returned to their respective bedrooms to get ready. In a rush, she blotted on concealer under her eyes and spritzed on sunscreen, and lastly tousled her hair before deciding to leave it be. Back in her bedroom, she slid into a pair of ripped denim jeans, a black tee, and a pair of matching shiny black boots. But when she saw the cloudy sky through her bedroom window, she made sure to grab her green jacket on her way out too. 

“What do you want to see first?” Will asked as they strolled down the pavement to the underground a handful of minutes later. 

Jogging behind him down the steps, (Y/N) quickly took in his outfit - black skinny jeans, a plain black tee, and a light denim jacket. She cleared her throat while watching him pull his tube pass from his wallet. 

“I don’t know,” she said scanning her pass, following behind him in the turnstile, “you know the place better, what do you have in mind?” 

Will paused, stuffing his pass back into his phone case while waiting for her to catch up to him, and they began to walk down the set of stairs to the platforms among at least a dozen others. “Little Venice isn’t too far from here, and then there is the junkyard you wanted to go to,” he listed off, “and there is this really cool rooftop beer garden in the city centre that you would like.” 

She raised a brow, a curious grin on her lips. “That I would like,” She repeated, teasingly. “What do you think that is?” 

Will turned around, walking backwards while leading her down the platform where the tube was coming to a stop at the station. He met her eyes, a brow raised in a test. “I guess you just have to trust me.” 

“Should I?” She teased. “Because I just met you for the first time about nine hours ago.” 

Will shrugged. When the doors opened next to the platform, he looked down at his feet and then took a step backwards inside, looking at her with a raised brow. “The choice is all yours, love.” 

(Y/N) licked the inside of her cheek as she looked at him with a smile. He was a cute boy offering to show her around the city, to show her the places she had once dreamed of seeing. Of course she couldn’t help but follow along. 

When the automated voice stated that the doors were closing, she took two swift steps off the platform and into the tube, her body clashing with Will’s as the doors closed just inches behind her. Looking up, she saw him smile down at her, and her cheeks flushed at the realization of just how close they were. She could smell his cologne. 

A beat later, he chuckled and she took a step back, straightening her own jacket. “Don’t make me regret this.” 

“You won’t.” He said, reaching up with both hands to hold onto the railing above them, and he looked back down at her. “I’ll give you the bloody best non-touristy-tour of London that will make you wish you paid me.” 

“That’s up for me to decide though, isn’t it?” 

“Nah, not really. I know how good I am.” And she rolled her eyes before he chuckled before the tube began to move onto their station just a few stops away. 

[bobasheebaby]

107 The Good Place Prompts

Eleanor Shellstrop

1 “I just don't think the group thing is for me. I'm better when it's one-one-one and we're both looking at our phones and I don't know the other person and we don't talk.”

2 “The closest thing I could find to herbal tea was a root beer I had them throw in the microwave.”

3 “Whenever anyone tells me a story about their life I always imagine all the people as being super hot. Otherwise, I quickly lose interest. Do you not do that? You can do it for free.”

4 “I'm SO ready to learn, it's like my brain is HORNY!”

5 “What can you possibly say to us that will make up for your actions?” “Pobody's nerfect?”

6 “You don't seem like a ... super genius.”

7 “Ugh, of course your hugs are amazing.”

8 “Oh, so now I'm supposed to be nice and make friends and treat him:her with mutual respect?” “Yeah!” “That's exactly what he/she wants me to do, NAME, wake up!” “That's what everyone wants everyone to do.”

9 “Your friend sounds like he’s/she's one pickle short of a pickle party.”

10 “I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.” “Oh, come on. Everyone knows that's worse.”

11 “I know it sounds crazy, but if it weren’t crazy they wouldn’t call it a ‘leap of faith.’ They would call it a ‘sit … of ... doubting.’”

12 “Buzz off, Bambadjan.”

13 “Where is everyone?” “Who knows? Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting, 'cause it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it.”

14 “First of all, throwing sand is an excellent way to put out a vodka fire.” “Why would you even know that?!”

15 “No, NAME, I used to do that. Now I do selfless things without even thinking about it.”

16 “Why don't I ever listen to people when they talk about themselves? No, it's annoying, and I'm right not to.”

17 “Are you going to talk? Or just walk around like a nerd trying to get a personal best on his Fitbit?”

18 “I guess ‘try and enjoy this’ is a better plan than ‘have the anxiety sweats.’’

19 “I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two men my entire life, Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin.”

20 “Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.”

21 “You know I’m trying to say ash-hole instead of ash-hole, right?”

22 “It’s suddenly very important that I get drunk.”

23 “Well fork you, too.”

24 “Holy mother-forking shirtballs.”

25 “‘You’re not better than me’ was my yearbook quote.”

Tahani Al-Jamal

26 “You guys came to say goodbye because you're my friends.” “Well, I suppose some part of me possibly has a sense of casual kinship with you, much as one might be fond of a street cat.”

27 “I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.”

28 “NAME, you seem thoughtful. And that concerns me.”

29 “I, NAME, shall do my level best to make every event too much.”

30 “I just want to sit and stare at nothing, and silently scream for the rest of time.”

31 “I made a complete fool of myself tonight. I interrupted your big speech and badly stained my cargo pants, which, I have to admit, are quite comfortable. Oh, God, what’s happened to me? I’m praising off-the-rack separates!”

32 “Who else feels that NAME has ruined every moment of your existence since you arrived?”

33 “Right now I'm just a boy/girl, towering over a boy/girl, asking him/her to admit he/she loves me.”

34 “My whole life, whenever I encountered any obstacles, I would simply say, ‘I would like to speak to a manager.’ But in our relationship, there was no manager. There was no one who could fix this for me except me.”

Chidi Anagonye

35 “I’m just not a ‘new experience’ kind of guy. My comfort zone is basically like, that chair, and honestly? The arms are a little sharp.”

36 “Here’s an idea. What if we don’t worry about whatever comes next?”

37 “Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re gonna follow them.”

38 “If this isn’t a test, then it’s something way worse: A choice! That we have to make!”

39 “I am absolutely paralyzed by decision-making.”

40 “I’m going to ... start crying.”

41 “I am pretty good at turning every place I go into my personal hell.”

42 “You know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That’s the sound that my brain makes all the time.”

43 “Well, I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities: yes and no.”

44 “There's an old Chinese proverb... ‘Lies are like tigers. They are bad.’””That's it?” “I guess it's more poetic in Mandarin.”

45 “I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone."

46 “I am breaking up with you.” “Why?” “I can't ... It's complicated, but it's happening. Ya dumped!”

47 “I do have a stomachache. Why do I always have a stomachache?”

48 “You put the Peeps in the chili pot and eat them both up! You put the Peeps in the chili pot and add the M&Ms. You put the Peeps in the chili pot and it makes it taste bad.”

49 “Are you alright? You didn't sleep at all last night.” “I got a solid eight minutes. Not consecutively, but still. It's fine. You're not even that blurry.”

50 “We can be colleagues. Associates is pushing it. And by even having this conversation, you're becoming my confidante. I can't have that.”

51 “I am absolutely paralyzed by decision making and it is destroying my life.” “Yeah, I sort of got that when you couldn't choose a chair to sit on.” “Well, I didn't want to offend you in case you had a favorite.”

52 “This whole romantic situation is such a mess. I am vexed, NAME. Vexed.”

53 “I need to step outside ... for some air ... and I will not be back for many days.”

54 “I'm sorry, everyone, I just have some worries as well as some concerns that could potentially turn into outright fears. Ah, there they go, they're fears now.”

55 “When I'm really upset, concentrating on a table of contents helps me calm down. It's like a menu, but the food is words.”

56 “I have never been that certain about anything. I once even tried to rent socks. How did I say that that easily?”

57 “You broke the world. It's not a compliment!”

58 “This is fun. It's a fun party. There's no question about it, this is a fun ... situation. Hey! You guys are here! The fun continues, nay, increases!”

Michael

59 “If soulmates do exist, they’re not found. They’re made.”

60 “I’ll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe. Take it sleazy.”

61 “We have no plan. No one’s coming to save us. So ... I’m going to do it.”

62 “It’s a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow. Or like someone on the internet saying, You know what? You’ve convinced me I was wrong.”

63 “Lies are always more convincing when they’re closer to the truth.”

64 “Kissing is gross. You just mash your food holes together. It’s not for that.”

65 “Birth is a curse and existence is a prison.”

66 “Serious question: should we kill them?”

67 “Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One.”

68 (Holding a plush Minion) “I won this ugly yellow toddler, which is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

69 “Hello, everyone. Good to see you all here, mingling around with your various secrets. Who really knows which of you are who you say you are? No way to know unless I pull your skeletons out, right?"

70 “In the words of one of my actual friends: 'Ya basic'. It's a human insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now."

71 “Where's the H? This keyboard doesn't have an H.”

72 “Dick Tracy called back on his watch phone and said you better "watch" out!”

73 “I got to ride a bike. I put a coin in a thing and got a gumball. And then someone came up to me and said, ‘hot enough for ya?’, and you know what I said? I said, ‘tell me about it!’” “Well I am glad that you got to chew a gumball.” “Oh, damn. I didn't even think to chew it. Missed opportunity, shoot.”

74 “I saw this place that was at once a Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell! I mean, oh! The mind reels! A Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell!”

75 “And what's the significance of the keychain?” “Nothing, I just like frogs. I'm a frog guy.”

76 “I won't let you down.” “I think you will. I think this entire project of yours is stupid and doomed to fail.”

77 “You know the way you feel when you see a chimpanzee and a baby tiger who have become friends? That's how you're going to feel every day.”

78 “You humans have so many emotions. You only need two: anger and confusion!”

79 “It makes sense, right? They're good so they're stupid and trusting.”

Jason Mendoza

80 “I have no idea what’s going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too!”

81 “I can’t believe NAME betrayed us again, why is it always the ones you most expect?”

82 “I wasn’t a failed DJ. I was pre-successful.”

83 “Claustrophobic? Who would ever be afraid of Santa Clause?”

84 “If you’re a devil, how come you’re not wearing Prada?”

85 “I’m too young to die and too old to eat off the kids’ menu. What a stupid age I am.”

86 “Well, my year started about a year ago …”

87 “Dude! We can get mythical animals? Maybe I’ll get a penguin.” “Penguins are real.” “That’s the spirit, NAME. They’re real to me too.”

88 “When I say I'm meditating, I'm just trying to figure out what the fork is happening."

89 “You know, it doesn't matter if you know things. All that matters is what's in your heart."

90 “I'm ranking my favourite Fast and the Furious movies. You said you wanted to know who I am, and this is the best way to get to know me."

91 “He’s/She's my everything. He/She makes the bass drop in my heart.”

92 “Long story short, it was all a dream.”

Janet

93 “I think I might hate things now, too. So far, it’s genocide and leggings as pants.”

94 “NAME told me that instead of being sad, I should ‘go get it, girl.’ So I’m going to go get it, girl.” “Get what?” “Unclear. I’ll get everything, just to be safe.”

95 “In case you were wondering, I am, by definition, the best version of myself."

96 “Ooh, I've never had to walk before, this is fun! [Walks a few steps] Now I'm bored. Walking is dumb.”

97 “Oh, really? Is it an error to act unpredictably and behave in ways that run counter to how you were programmed to behave?”

Minor Miscellaneous Characters

98 “There is some good news. There’s some cake left!” – Neil from Accounting

99 “Well, I'm sure you're busy, you probably wouldn't want to talk to me. I get it, I wouldn't either. I'm as dull as a rock. Ugh, even that analogy was boring. I'm sorry, I'm so dull, and I'm ugly. I'm like a rock. Ugh, stupid Larry! Stop talking about rocks!” — Larry Hemsworth

100 “Oh, and you should smile more. You'll get bigger tips.” — Trevor

101 “Later days, dingus.” — Trevor

102 “Hold that thought. Is it OK if I go work out? I love working out. I gotta stay jacked. It's who I am.” — Chris Baker

103 “This is exhausting. I just want to go back to my container of goo and go to sleep.” — Shawn

104 “So, what's up, what's your deal? Are you single? What's going on?” — Trevor

105 “What up, ding dongs?” — Bad Janet

106 “Hello, imbeciles.” — Shawn

107 “So, we'll just roll on out, and you can get back to putting rainbows up your butt or whatever you do here.” — Trevor

[an-aura-about-you]

Homer Simpson’s Patented Space Age Out of This World Moon Waffles - Revisited!

Like it or not, Homer Simpson is absolutely right that this is a great flavor combination. The rest under a cut because I turn into a food blog. The recipe IS down there, though, but the actual blog stuff might be worth reading to see why I made the recipe the way I did.

Originating in The Simpsons episode Homer the Heretic, Homer’s “waffles” are a sticky concoction made from caramel candies, waffle batter, and liquid smoke wrapped around a stick of butter. And he really is on to something with the flavor profile. Smoky sweet buttery caramel waffles? Sign me up!

But it goes a bit wrong both in making them and how they taste. One of the big issues is caramel candies will stick in your waffle iron something awful. When I did my first attempt, I had to scrub my iron down with my cleaning toothbrush. And this was with me adding caramel chips to the batter instead of tossing the candies directly onto the iron. (For some people that’s not even worth it. In the Binging With Babish episode on moon waffles, he gives up and gets a new waffle iron.)

Where it goes a bit wrong taste-wise is the liquid smoke. There’s no delicate way to put this so I’ll just say it: that shit nasty. If you actually add enough to taste it, it’s awful. If you don’t, it might as well not even be there.

But my problem with a lot of upgraded versions of moon waffles is that they completely neglect to add any kind of smoked flavor at all. Usually what ends up happening is people make brown butter waffles, which taste good but have a nutty flavor instead of that good smoky flavor I’m looking for.

On top of all this, I at least partly want to keep the spirit of Homer’s waffles where things are simpler. Brown butter is easy to mess up and, while made from scratch waffles are indeed good, the only crime waffle mix commits is getting all your dry ingredients together in a box instead of you painstakingly measuring everything out. So here’s how I addressed those issues.

The caramel itself is an easy fix: caramel sauce on top instead of caramel candies inside the waffle. After a good slather of butter on the waffle, of course. I made my own caramel sauce and I’ll include that info if you like, but keeping in the spirit of Homer’s waffles feel free to get a jar of your favorite caramel sauce from the store.

Here’s how I fixed the matter of the liquid smoke: hickory smoked salt. This stuff looks, smells, and tastes like powdered smoke, but in a better way than the liquid smoke did. Maybe it’s because the salt is so finely ground. I found it sold by the pound at nuts.com, but be ready to have something to keep the salt in because the bag won’t seal again after the salt gets into the zipper creases.

And I think you guys can see where I’m going with this, but I’ll go ahead and say it: these are hickory smoked salted caramel waffles. And they’re just as droolworthy as they look. I’ve eaten that plate and plan to get another as soon as I write this down for y’all.

Ingredients:

Hickory smoked salt  You won’t need a lot per batch, so if you get the pound from nuts.com like I did you can expect a LOT of moon waffles in your future. Caramel sauce  Optional recipe to follow. Butter or margarine because let’s be honest, I’m not betting the Simpson family is particularly picky about their butter, at least in the early seasons Waffle mix Milk to replace the water in the waffle mix instructions (optional but tasty, dairy or non-dairy is fine, pictured waffles were made with soymilk) Vanilla extract (optional) Vegetable oil or other neutral flavored oil, both bottled and in a spray can Eggs if required by waffle mix instructions

Tools:

Waffle iron Mixing bowl Whip/whisk Ladle or spoon Flexible spatula (optional but why would you want to miss out on waffle batter?) Fork or similar tool for moving waffles out of the iron Small microwave safe bowl Additional spoons

Measure out your waffle ingredients according to the instructions on your box of waffle mix with the dry mix going in the bowl first. Before adding any wet ingredients, add a pinch of hickory smoked salt to the dry mix and mix it well with your whip. This will add the smoky flavor to the waffles and help marry it to the caramel. I added one hearty pinch and that did the job. I also add one capful of vanilla to my wet ingredients to help boost the other ingredients. Remember, salt and vanilla are your other ingriedients’ best friends. Something else I sometimes do is replace the oil in my waffle mix recipe with butter, but I didn’t end up doing it this time. Whip together the ingredients until combined and relatively free of lumps. Lately, I’ve been making the batter the night before I plan to use it, so the waffles pictured were made with batter that sat in the fridge overnight and then sat on the counter to get closer to room temp for about half an hour. (That is, I took the batter out of the fridge, went to ride my exercise bike, and then made the waffles.)

Preheat your waffle iron according to its instructions. Most are plug in and go affairs, sometimes with an indicator light letting you know they’re hot enough for waffles. While you wait, get your plate and other tools set up. Once the waffle iron is hot enough, spray it with your spray grease, ladle in your waffle batter, and close the iron. Cook to desired doneness. If you’re new to cooking waffles, they’re fully cooked once the waffle iron stops letting off steam. Just keep an eye on it so you’re not seeing smoke. Transfer done waffles to a plate using a fork to guide it out.

When you’re ready to plate your waffles, get out some of your caramel sauce in the small microwave safe bowl. Heat up in the microwave in short intervals, about 10 seconds each. Add hickory smoked salt to taste. Slather your waffles with butter and drizzle with hickory smoked salted caramel.

Optional Caramel Sauce Recipe!

Ingredients:

Sugar or corn syrup I usually use sugar, but I was out and had corn syrup on hand. Frankly, I think the corn syrup turned out better and was easier to do. Heavy cream

Tools:

Small saucepan Measuring cup or cup Metal spoon or likewise heat resistant utensil Container to store finished caramel sauce

Caramel sauce is equal parts sugar and heavy cream, so measurements only matter as far as that goes. If you want the sauce thinner, add a bit more heavy cream, but equal parts will get you started.

Add your sugar or corn syrup to the saucepan and heat. The sugar will melt, and from that point you’ll be looking for the same clues that you’ll look for with the corn syrup. Cook the sugar until it changes color. I found it’s more gradual with the corn syrup, where it stayed a nice light amber color for some time. I recommend working with a LOT of light so you can really see what color you’ve got. You can carefully stir the sugar to even out the color as some spots might cook faster than others. Once your sugar reaches the color of caramel, add the heavy cream. Let the caramel melt into the heavy cream. Don’t worry if it takes a while. At this point, the addition of the cream stops the sugar from further browning. Once everything is melted down, pour the sauce into the container. It will solidify when it cools, so just melt it down for use.

I really like the equal parts sauce for this because it gets kind of goopy and sticky thick, which is probably what Homer was going for with the caramel candies.

[prolestariwrites]

Time To Go [2]: Dante Makes Hot Dogs And Doesn’t Get Laid

Fandom: Devil May Cry Rating: M Characters: Nero, Dante, Vergil, Kyrie, Nico, Trish, Morrison Tags: Mystery, Humor, Missing Person, First Time, Family Drama, Family Bonding, Post-Canon Chapter: 2/9 Chapter [1]

Summary: When Kyrie goes missing, Nero goes on a desperate search to find her. Unfortunately, Dante and Vergil go too. Sparda boys shenanigans, fighting demons, a smattering of family drama, and male bonding (otherwise known as Nero’s worst nightmare). Please check it out below, or you can read on FFNet or AO3. Beta read by @copper-wasp.

Now posted! Chapter 2: Dante Makes Hot Dogs And Doesn't Get Laid, in which Dante and Nero get a clue to what happened to Kyrie.

━━━━━━━✧━━━━━━━

Dante can feel the tension radiating from Nero as he drives the van back towards Fortuna. The kid hadn’t said anything since Dante insisted on the keys, slouched instead in the passenger seat as he stared out the window. It had taken every last ounce of his wits to navigate the city streets—driving the van after being used to his bike felt like he might as well be driving a whale—but now that they are on the highway, he relaxes a bit and glances over.

“Still nothing?” he asks.

“The phone hasn’t rung, has it?” Nero bites back sarcastically.

Dante’s lips press together; the kid is just as sarcastic as Vergil, one of the hundred ways they are similar without meaning to be. Genes are a hell of a thing, he has come to realize, so he tries another approach. “Tell me what you did today—maybe I can help figure out what’s missing.”

Nero looks at him skeptically, but sits up a bit. “I woke up and Kyrie was gone. She uh… she slept in my room last night.” Dante glances over with his brows raised and spots the blush on Nero’s face before he turns back to the window. What was that about? “I figured she had a meeting or something, something to do. It was late enough that the kids had already left for school.

“I went downstairs and got breakfast, checked for messages, checked the mail. By lunchtime I hadn’t heard from her, so I called her cell, but she didn’t answer.”

“Was her phone in the house?”

“Huh?”

“What I said,” Dante replies. He switches lanes abruptly, sending the van rocking for a moment. “Did you check the house for her phone?”

Nero frowns. “No. But I didn’t hear it ring.”

“Could be dead. Or she doesn’t have it on her. But go on.”

Nero hesitates for a second, as if considering, and then continues, “Nico was in the garage. She said she hadn’t seen her either. I walked around a bit, went to the store, checked at the cafe she likes. Nobody saw her.”

“Nico didn’t hear her leave?”

Nero snorts. “Nico wouldn’t hear a dinosaur when she’s working in the garage.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t know. Would you keep your hands on the wheel?” Dante stops fixing the mirrors at Nero’s exasperated tone. “I called more people. No one had talked to her today. Then I got a phone call about somebody who needed help. It wasn’t the cops though, it was an anonymous tip. But when I got there, nobody was there.”

“That’s weird.”

Nero sighs and puts his foot up on the dashboard. “Happens sometimes. Somebody wants me to fight a demon but it clears off before I get there. When I got back home, the kids were there, but still no Kyrie. That’s when I got really worried.”

His phone rings, startling them both, and Nero nearly drops it out the window as he fumbles for it. “Yeah?” he says quickly, his shoulders tense. “No,” he growls, “we’re at least ten minutes away… No, he can’t have ice cream… For fuck’s sake, Nico, can you just handle it? Tell them to get their homework done and go to bed… I don’t know, make them sandwiches or something.”

He jabs at the screen angrily before rubbing his forehead. “God help us all if she ever becomes a mother.”

Dante snorts at that. “Yeah, she don’t seem the type.”

Nero goes back to staring out the window. He is quiet for a few minutes before he says, “If something’s happened to her—”

“She’s fine ,” Dante insists.

There is another brief silence, and Dante mulls over what to do. Nero is usually a fairly level-headed kid… at least as level-headed as a twenty-four-year-old half-devil can be. But he has a stubborn streak a mile wide and a blind spot the size of the Grand Canyon when it comes to Kyrie, so his main worry now is keeping him from doing something rash and getting his ass handed to him. He swerves a bit while deep in thought to avoid a pothole, but almost sideswipes a car in the next lane. The car blares its horn and Dante blows his own back, flipping them off as the car speeds by. “Watch where you’re going!” Nero yells.

“He almost ran into me!” he protests.

“Christ, just get us home in one piece,” mumbles Nero.

Dante huffs, putting the turn signal on to switch lanes. Soon their exit appears, and they arrive in Fortuna without further incident. When he parks in front of the house Nero leans over to yank the keys out of the ignition. “You are never driving my van again,” he announces as he jumps out of the passenger side.

“Whatever.” Dante walks around the vehicle and follows Nero into the garage. It is empty, and he glances curiously at the array of gadgets in various stages of building that lay scattered on the work table. Nero leads him through the door to the kitchen, where they find Nico. “Finally,” she sighs, hands on her hips.

“Where’s the note?” Nero asks.

“I’ll get it. Here.” She yanks a plate of steaming hot dogs out of the microwave and shoves it at Dante. “Go feed them.”

Dante frowns as she hurries out of the kitchen. “Come on,” Nero grumbles, leading him into the dining room.

Their place is almost as big as Dante’s building, but with nine people in the house it is cluttered with stuff. Bins of toys, shelves filled with books, shoes stacked by the front door, and the cartoons blaring on the television make the house feel much cozier. However, as he navigates the toy-strewn floor Dante decides he prefers his own place. This is especially true when they get through the family room to the dining room, where six faces turn when they enter, all talking excitedly.

Nero actually smiles a bit when they are so happy to see him, and Dante decides to get in on things. “Hey, kids!” he says with fake enthusiasm, lifting up the plate dramatically. “Uncle Dante made you some dogs!”

The entrance goes flat, the room silent as they gape at him. Nero sighs as Dante lays the plate on the table, moving to stand behind the head chair. “Listen, guys, you’re gonna be on your own tonight.” He nods to the oldest boy who looks about twelve or so. “Samuel, you’re in charge. I want you all to eat and get to bed.”

“Where’s Kyrie?” Samuel asks.

“She’s working tonight,” Nero says. “I’m gonna go pick her up, but it will be a while. Nico will be here if there’s an emergency.” He narrows his eyes and drops his voice a bit. “Everyone got it? We need everyone’s help for this team to work.”

The kids agree and Nero starts handing out the hot dogs, stopping when he is done to give Samuel a few quiet instructions. Dante waits with his arms folded until a hand tugs on his jacket.

“Are those real guns?” one of them asks, pointing to Dante’s hips.

“Uh…” He looks over at Nero, who isn’t paying attention. “Yeah, they are.”

“Can I have one?”

“No.”

“Can I touch it?”

He frowns down at the little boy, who is staring at him with an eager curiosity. “No!”

“Do you kill people with it?”

“Nero?” he shouts. “You ready?”

Nero glances over and nods, and after giving Samuel a firm pat on the shoulder, he leads him back out to the garage. Dante glances behind and frowns at the one who was questioning him, the kid nearly falling out of his chair leaning back to watch him leave, and shakes his head as they step through the doorway. “Kids are the worst,” he mutters.

That earns him a sideways glance as they walk over to Nico, who is standing in front of her work table. “Where’s the note?” Nero demands.

“Here.” She hands over an envelope and a folded piece of paper. “It was sealed when it arrived.”

Nero opens the note, reading it for a second before handing it to Dante. In a script that is too perfect to be handwritten, it reads: Don’t look. I’ll be in touch.

He frowns, trying to figure out what it means. “See?” Nero hisses. “Someone’s taken her.”

Dante doesn’t answer, handing the paper back to him. “Where do we start looking? Who would want to hurt you guys?”

He and Nico exchange a glance. “Plenty of people, actually,” Nico replies, and his brows raise. “Everybody knows Nero is the city’s demon hunter, so not only can the demons find him if they know what to look for, any sympathizers can figure it out too.”

“It has to be someone connected to the demon world,” he growls.

“I don’t know, Kyrie has her own set of people who would want her gone, too,” Nico says.

The two men look at her strangely and she shrugs. “I mean, she’s important, right? She’s one of the last survivors of the Order. Lots of people died, so if someone wanted revenge, Kyrie is an obvious choice. Plus now she’s a public figure. People hated the Order, and don’t want Fortuna to have anything to do with it. Other people hate the new charity, wanting the Order back in charge.” She gestures to the letter. “I’d say half of Fortuna could be a suspect. And that’s not even counting anyone who hates the Spardas.”

“I get it,” Dante groans, rubbing his face. “All right. What we need is a clue. We gotta narrow this down somehow.”

“How do we do that?” Nero asks.

He looks at his wrist before realizing he doesn’t wear a watch. “It’s not that late. I know an empath in a town not far from here. Let’s roll.”

“Fine. I’ll drive.” Nero stuffs the letter in his jacket pocket and heads for the door.

“Want me to come?” Nico offers.

“No. Stay here and answer the phone. And don’t let the kids burn the house down.”

Nico makes a face, and Dante salutes her with a laugh before he follows him back out to the van. Both climb inside and shut the doors, and Nero pulls out into the street, heading for the freeway that will take them west.

Dante gives directions and then starts to fiddle with the radio. “This empath any good?” Nero asks.

“Yeah. She’s good.” He settles on a station and drums his fingers on the armrest.

“Has this ever happened to you?” Nero asks.

Dante looks over, his brows drawn in question. “Has what ever happened to me?”

“Demons coming after you like this?”

He thinks about all the times a demon came crashing into his shop or showing up where he was, the times a hoard had overrun a town he was staying in, all the way back to the day an army descended on his childhood home. “Yeah. It’s happened.”

“Fuck this,” Nero hisses. “Why’s it gotta be us? I didn’t ask for this life. I didn’t ask to be a demon hunter.”

“Yeah,” Dante agrees, sighing as he looks out the window. “None of us did.”

━━━━━━━✧━━━━━━━

Nero takes a moment to look at the little house before following Dante towards the front door. It looks completely normal, faded yellow paint on the shutters, a little picket fence, the front path neatly swept. It is nearly eight o’clock by the time they are on the porch, ringing the bell, but the lamps inside still give a glow through the windows and Nero can hear the television on the inside. It’s not until they are waiting that he notices a sign hanging over the front step that says: Psychic Readings, Walk-Ins Welcome.

A moment later the door opens. A young woman with long white hair wearing an oversized sweater and glasses looks up at them. “Can I help you?”

Nero clears his throat but Dante holds out his hands. “Lir! Long time no see!”

“You have got to be kidding me.” She scowls up at him, and it would be almost comical with her height that only goes to about Dante’s shoulder. But her look is fierce and her voice bitter as she snaps, “I can’t believe you have the nerve to show up here.”

“Don’t be like that, hon. Besides, I need your help.”

“Help?” she scoffs.

“Yeah. I’ll even pay you.”

She looks at him suspiciously before giving Nero a once-over. Then she steps back and waves them inside. “You have ten minutes.”

“Thanks, babe.” Nero follows him as they step into the foyer. The house is decorated simply, the walls and floors wood, and she leads them into a small parlor but does not offer them seats.

“Well?” Lir asks, folding her arms.

Dante clears his throat. “Kid’s got a note and don’t know who it’s from. Think you could tell us?”

Lir snorts. “You know my empathy doesn’t work that way.”

Nero’s heart sinks, but Dante moans, “Oh come on, can’t you try? Just see if you pick up something.”

She heaves a huge sigh and walks behind a desk in the corner. As she takes a seat in the desk chair, Nero and Dante move to take the two opposite. Nero leans forward eagerly, his elbows perched on his knees, as Dante sits back and crosses one leg over the other.

“So what is this note?” she asks.

Dante nudges him so Nero says, “My girlfriend has been kidnapped. This was delivered earlier.” He pulls it from his pocket and holds it out with the envelope, but Lir simply looks at it. “Some demon wrote this, but we don’t know who.”

Lir gives a huff of air. “It’s not from a demon, I can tell you that much by looking at it.”

“What do you mean?” Nero frowns. “You can’t just know that!”

“Sure I can.” She looks at Dante blankly. “Twenty dollars.”

“Please! Just—” Nero growls and shakes the note at her. “Just take it! Try something.”

The woman’s shoulders flex a bit as she leans forward, her hands planted on the desk and her voice no-nonsense. She looks intimidating despite her small frame and pretty face, and Nero feels his ears go pink. “You listen here,” she says in a low tone. “I’ve been reading people my whole life, so when I tell you that there’s no demon on that paper, then there’s no goddamn demon on that goddamn paper, you understand me?”

Fury bubbles over as Nero curses and jumps to his feet. “This is bullshit. You’re a hack.” He points an angry finger at Lir who shoots him a scowl. He tries to think of something else to say, but when nothing comes to mind he shouts, “Come on, Dante, let’s go.”

“Babe.” Dante sighs and leans forward, and Nero gapes at him as he props his elbow on the desk and his chin in his hand. “Don’t be too hard on the kid. He just lost the woman he loves. I mean, look at him.” They both glance at Nero, who frowns. “If I had someone to love like that, I’d be losing my shit too. Only…” He gives her a slow smile. “I don’t have somebody to love. I always wished I had a sweet, pretty thing, long white hair and dark lashes, lips full and pink and ready for me to—”

“Okay! Okay. Just… stop.” But she is laughing, and she shoots him a look as she holds her hand out to Nero. “Let me see it.”

He hesitates just a second before giving over the letter. Lir’s brows go up in surprise as soon as her hand closes around the paper. “Well. What do you know? There is a demon on this note.”

She frowns but Nero says, “I knew it! A demon sent this, didn’t they?”

“No,” she answers. “It’s just a trace. Probably from you handling it so much.”

Nero feels the blood drain from his face. “What do you mean? I’m not a—”

“I’m not stupid,” she huffs, looking at him sharply. “I know a half-breed when I see one.” She looks at Dante and rolls her eyes. “Where did you find this kid?”

“He’s my nephew,” Dante explains.

Lir lets out a huge laugh. “Should have known! Just like the rest of you Spardas. Stubborn and stupid.”

Nero slumps a bit in his chair as she goes back to concentrating. “There’s definitely a mix, but again, it’s hard to tell. Should have worn gloves or something at least,” she scolds him. Then her brow tenses. “It’s someone connected to you. Someone close.”

“What?” Nero leans forward, looking at the letter. “Who could it be?”

“Did Kyrie write this?” Dante asks.

He looks sharply at him, ready to argue, but Lir shakes her head. “No, I’m pretty sure it’s not connected like that. It’s a relative of yours.”

Nero feels his ears burn as something churns in his stomach. “I knew it. I fucking knew it.” He stands and looks at Dante, who is frowning up at him. “That bastard.”

“Wait a second,” Dante snaps.

“Fucking Vergil. I’m gonna kill him.” Nero grabs the note and heads for the door, but Dante is quicker. “Move,” he growls.

“You don’t know it’s him. Don’t be stupid.” Dante jerks his head up. “And you owe her twenty dollars.”

Furious now, Nero pulls out a wad of cash and tosses it at Dante, hitting him in the chest. Then he steps around him and storms out of the house, yanking open the door of the van.

Dante climbs in the passenger side as Nero starts the ignition. “You can come, but don’t try to stop me,” Nero warns.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dante replies, reaching down to lean the seat all the way back.

Nero glances over, not entirely sure if he’s telling the truth. Dante props his feet up on the dash and promptly begins to snore as Nero drives the van back towards the city. Up ahead the lights flicker on the horizon, and he narrows his eyes, knowing that Kyrie is there somewhere, waiting for him.

[littledarlinwrites]

Waste Love

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2023

Warnings: smut, a swear or two

Author's Note: So I didnt plan on making a part 2 of Chainsmoker for @thorne93's writing challenge, and definitely not so quickly, but y'all can blame thank @msruchita for the inspiration otherwise it probably ne er would have happened! Also, song inspiration for this fic is Waste Love by Machine Gun Kelly off his latest album Hotel Diablo, go check out! Anywho, this is unedited and I'm needy so leave me love and I'll respond in a bit!😘💕

Bucky hears your gasp coming from the doorway and his blood runs ice cold, easily colder than any time he put in cryo when he was under HYDRA's control. The blonde he had found at the bar was still bouncing on his lap moaning like a pornstar. It was gettin' hard to fake how he felt when your face still taunted him. All Bucky could think about was you, how it was you on top of him just hours before, and how he walked away like a coward instead of just letting himself be vulnerable with the one person he could trust, but he felt as if his mind was too haunted to let you in. The thought of you on top of him earlier got Bucky off faster than the anonymous blonde ever could and slowly her moving came to a halt. The room was filled with the smell of sex and stale booze, panting from them both echoed against the empty walls. As the blonde tried to lean forward and rest against his chest, Bucky put his hands on her shoulders and moved her back to sit up before lifting her up and off him. He pulled on his pants that had been quickly discarded by the couch. His back was to the woman whose name he couldn't remember.

"I- this was a mistake, I'm sorry." Were the only words Bucky could mumble out as he made his way to the kitchen, the disgruntled woman making some comment that was meant to bruise his already fragile ego, but he just couldn't seem to care. Bucky opened his fridge that contained three beers and three beers only. He popped the top off the edge of the counter with practised ease and brought the bottle to his lips before the sight of his reflection in the microwave caused his movements to falter. The door slammed once again tonight, rattling not only his walls, but his mind as well.

Bucky tossed the opened beer into the sink before going back to the fridge to grab the two that remain and dumping them in the sink as well. Bucky's mind was racing with what to do and how to fix this. He hated the thought of you having to deal with the worst parts of him, the parts he drowned in a warm body and booze, but he hated the thought of being the cause of your pain, of living his godforsaken life without you more. He grabbed his clothes off the floor throughout his apartment and threw them in the washer before opening the windows to let in fresh air to air out his stale apartment. Bucky began scrubbing his apartment so clean even his commanding officer would have been impressed. A couple hours later his apartment was clean, his laundry folded and Bucky was in the shower scrubbing away the feeling of the blondes hands and mouth. He scrubbed until his skin was red and raw. He didn't even notice the tears running down his face at the thought of you catching him in the act. He picked up his tooth brush and gave a generous dollop of toothpaste on the bristles before brushing his teeth until he could no longer taste the booze he had consumed, his gums were sensitive and felt a bit swollen by the point. Satisfied he could no longer feel, smell, or taste his regrets Bucky turned off the now cold water and stepped out of the shower and began to get dressed.

Every article of clothing reminded him of you somehow, the shirt he wore the time you two played pool at the bar he frequented the most, that reminded him of old Brooklyn. He remembers how the thin t-shirt allowed him to feel the warmth emanating from you as he enveloped you to teach you how to play, he remembers the leather jacket he took off to have you wear as you got on the back of his bike for a midnight ride, and the jeans that still had an oil stain from the time you got stranded on the side of the road and you had called Bucky to come look at your car.

He pulled out the red Henley and faded ripped jeans that you always checked him out in. He pulled on his leather jacket and hopped on his bike knowing there were still some things that he needed to do before he could beg for your forgiveness.

By the time everything was said and done it was just after 11 when Bucky killed the engine of his bike after he pulled up in front of your apartment. His heart was in his throat, and his stomach was more upset than every night of binge drinking he's experienced combined. He took a deep breath before swinging his leg over his bike and slowly making his way up to your door. His hands were shaking as he lifted the potted flower that hid your hideaway key you kept there for him. He nearly fell over when he saw it was still there. He didn't want to count his eggs before they hatched, but he could help but think that maybe there was still a bit of hope for him yet.

He walked into your quiet, dark apartment and took note of your keys where you kept them by the door. He made his way through your living to the back of your apartment where your bedroom and fire escape was. Your bedroom was void of you but your curtains fluttered in the breeze that filter through the window to your fire escape. He took two steps before he saw your shadow in the moonlight against the curtains move and Bucky froze in his steps. You were climbing through your window and fell gracefully when you saw Bucky in your bedroom. Bucky l UK nged for you, but stopped himself when you flinched back as if his touch would burn you.

"I- I know I have no right being here, and I'm the hugest jackass you know right now, but please just hear me out." Bucky stammered out quickly.

"You're damn straight you're the hugest jackass I know! You tried to get away with the worst; this time, I caught you. I tried to make you stay with my words, but this time, I lost you. It's just so shitty how you waste love."

"Wish I could erase the mistakes that I made, I'm sorry! And you're right, it's so shitty how I waste love! I did it to myself, though, go ahead and blame this on me. Just, please forgive me, doll."

"I blamed myself actually. I never blamed you Bucky. I just wasn't enough for you, and as much as that hurts, it's none fault but my own for fooling myself that I could be." You say as tears start to stream down your face. You can't even look at him at this point and it kills him that he made you feel like this. Bucky closes the distance between you two and gently wipes away your tears. Bucky tilts your face up to look at him, and the look on his face breaks your heart and astonishes you all in the same breath. Bucky always kept his cards close to his chest, never letting anyone see how he really felt and right now you could tell he was showing you the hand that was dealt him. Slowly, as if moving too fast would shatter the moment and you two would be back to arguing, Bucky lowered his lips to yours.

This kiss took your breath away. Bucky was a fantastic kisser, that was undeniable, however, this kiss was far more intimate than one he had ever shared with you. You poured everything you felt into it, meeting him with every ounce he was willing to share with your own.

Bucky could taste the salty tears on your lips, he could smell the smoke in your hair from the cigarettes you've smoked as you analyzed and re-anazlyed everything you could have done to be enough for him. The fact that you thought you weren't enough for him hurt him more than anything HYDRA ever did to him.

Bucky needed you, he needed to show you just how much he needed you and loved you. Bucky guided you to your bed, kissing you languidly and thoroughly. He didn't want to rush this, he didn't want it to feel like it was just sex to him, he wanted to make love to, forever if you'd let him. Bucky's hands made methodical movements, inching beneath the shirt you were wearing, feeling your cool skin against his warm flesh hand. He felt every single goosebump rise from your flesh as his fingertips teasingly grazed the skin beneath your beast. He hadn't even really touched you yet and you were breathless from anticipation. Bucky's member also raised with anticipation, and he knew you could feel it as you ground your hips against his when he finally reached your nipple with his calloused hands.

"Gonna love you so good tonight, doll." He whispered huskily in your ear, his breath hitting the shell of it causing shivers to run up your spine and press yourself impossibly closer to Bucky. He removed your clothes slowly, kissing every inch of skin exposed. The way that Bucky was taking his time with you was driving you mad and he knew it, but he also knew you loved every single second of it considering you hadn't told him to get on with it already.

"James!" You whine as he finally probes your entrance.

"Shh, gonna take really good care of you, doll. Need to show you just how much I need you. That you're more than enough for me, more than I deserve." He whispers in your ear as he plunges inch by inch into you until he's fully sheathed within you, feeling your walls flutter around him.

"So good for me, doll. So patient." Bucky whisper is just the tiniest bit strained as he begins to thrust inside you.

"Always there for me. Helping me put myself back together again after every flashback and nightmare, even when you don't even know it." He tells you before his lips are on yours again before moving down your neck so he can listen to every moan and every whimper that falls from your lips in pleasure. Bucky laces his fingers with yours by your head, effectively pinning you down and bring himself impossibly closer. There's not an inch of skin between you that isn't touching. Neither of you could tell where one began and one ended. You felt the coil tightening as Bucky thrust methodically into you, hitting the spot he knew made you see stars.

"So perfect for me in every single way, doll." He whispers praise onto your lips before sealing yours with his again. The coil snapped hurtling you into your orgasm and triggering Bucky's, causing his rhythm to falter.

Your breaths mingled as Bucky stilled on top of you. He unlaced one hand from yours to move a strand of hair out of your face before kissing the tip of your nose causing you to let out the smallest giggle, and blush blossoming across your cheeks.

"I know it's hard to fake how you feel, do you not still want me?" Bucky asked you, his heart back in his throat, and he could tell that his question pained you.

"I always wanted you Bucky, even last night after what I saw. Just my side effect of loving you I guess, I always want you." You said earnestly

"Never happening again. Ever. I was so scared that I lost you forever with how I screwed things up. The only reason I didn't chase after you was because I needed to get my shit together. It was the wake up call I needed, I'm just sorry you had to deliver the message, doll."

"No more wasting love?" You ask, your voice small.

"No more wasting love." Bucky promised, sealing it with a kiss.

[sweetserenityrp]

“He’ll buy me a thorn before he’ll buy me a rose. Be covered in dirt before I’m covered in gold”

Alexander SUAREZ is thirty-six years old. He/him is the owner of Extra Mile Auto Shop.

☆ PAST

Things never came easily for Alex the way they seemed to for people around him. His family life was more like a montage of different foster homes and families ranging from fine to horrifying at their worst and he never could seem to settle into a family for longer than a couple of years at a time. By the time he was sixteen he’d given up on the idea of having a family in his corner and he took to finding his own version of family in his friends. School always made him feel stupid because he didn’t learn things as quickly as his peers seemed to. His difficulty would later be diagnosed as dyslexia but by the time anyone cared enough to ask what was making school so hard for him it seemed too late. He wasn’t getting into college with the grade he’d had up until that point and he couldn’t have paid for it if he did anyway.

Alex began working in the garage of one of his neighbors after school while he was finishing up high school. The older man taught him everything he knew about cars and even threw life lessons in from time to time. He was the closest thing to a father Alex had ever encountered. At first he pushed the man and his advice away, not wanting to open himself up to disappointment, but eventually he found a way past the brick wall Alex built between him and the outside world and he became something of a mentor. He was the only reason Alex never fell in with the gangs in his neighborhood and he was the main reason why he never tried drugs and would never drink more than a beer or two at a party. He’d become someone Alex wanted to make proud and never let down.

As it turned out, Alex was naturally good at one thing and that was machines. Cars, bikes, kitchen appliances, you name it. If it could be taken apart and put back together he could figure out exactly how it was done and he could make it better than it was before. He quickly took to the work at the garage and he soaked up everything he could possibly learn but there wasn’t enough work for him and his mentor who owned the place to live off of and Alex soon started to feel bored. His first instinct was to mess around in his free time and he worked his way through many of the women who would come to the garage for real work but would be swept up by his charm and want some sort of extra service off the clock. It was one of the only things that kept him entertained as the days grew slower.

☆ PRESENT

Although he was enjoying himself and his new after work activities, Alex knew he would run out of things (and people) do do soon enough. He did a little research and realized there was a small town somewhat nearby that didn’t have a mechanic or auto shop already. With the money he’d saved up from the time he’d started working part time, Alex purchased an abandoned shop and converted it into damn near the auto shop of his dreams. He was the only mechanic in town for his first five years of business and that pushed his shop into success and the word seemed to spread. Soon he was hiring new mechanics to work under him, people to work the front desk, and it was running like a well-oiled machine, pun intended.

This freed Alex up to help with some of his neighbors’ mechanical issues at home. When his schedule allowed it, he’d make house calls to fix ovens, microwaves, pretty much whatever was broken that he could figure out how to fix. He has become a staple of the Serenity community but his affinity for housewives and after work activities didn’t exactly disappear. His life was on track but he still grew bored from time to time and his bad boy streak didn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.

The Role of Alexander SUAREZ is played by Manny Montana and is currently TAKEN.

[coffee-n-some-cream]

Raph hadn’t been in New York City for six years. He had been living amongst the plains of an Ohio ranch since he was fifteen years old, surrounded by nothing but open space and still feeling trapped. The minute he was old enough and had enough money, he shoved everything he needed into one compact suitcase, hugged his dad and brothers goodbye, promised to call, then hopped on his bike and made the drive to his shabby little Brooklyn apartment.

Something about NYC sang in tune with Raph. When his dad had moved them out to Ohio, an attempt to give them a better life away from rising crime rates and troublesome biological families, Raph had felt like an uprooted tree. Ripped from where he was meant to be, transplanted in new soil that was never quite right. Always just a little malcontent. But here, back where he had been born and raised, something clicked into place.

And nothing was quite as ‘New York City’ as this guy named Casey Jones. In the mornings, Casey worked at a roller-skating rink, corralling sugar-high children and sneaking his little sister’s friends in through the back. At night, Casey hung out on fire escapes with a hockey stick strapped to his back, waiting for muggers to come along and do something stupid. Sometimes, after a good beatdown, he would grab a few beers. The first time Raph met him, they were on opposite sides of the bar at Merry Dog Pub. The guy’s skin was peppered with bruises, his nose was broken, he was yelling everything he said, and he was very, very drunk. Raph was closing down the joint, telling him over and over again, “We’re closing, dude, go home.”

Casey ended up sleeping on Raph’s couch that night. It was a difficult thing to maneuver, that was for sure, but Raph had things under control. He managed to sit him upright on his bike and tie his wrists together around his waist so he wouldn’t fall off, then he practically carried him up the stairs to his apartment. By the time he had a pillow under his head and a blanket over his body, the guy was asleep. Raph took that opportunity to treat some of the worst cuts on his face, but that nose was busted for good.

By the time Casey woke up the next morning, Raph was making breakfast in the kitchen.

“Hello?” Casey called, and Raph leaned out of the kitchen to look at him.

“Hey,” he said.

He got a squint in return. “Wait, aren’t you that… bartender?”

“Yep. How’s your face?”

The guy groaned. “Bad. Very bad.” He touched one hand to his face, winced, then touched it more. “Dude, did I go to the hospital last night?”

“Nope. I fixed you up last night after you passed out.” Raph returned to his scrambled eggs and guided them onto a couple plates with toast. He certainly didn’t owe the guy breakfast, but his dad had raised him to be polite, and if this random dude wasn’t a total liar (which he probably was), he had gotten all those bruises from taking on some gangbangers last night. Which was something Raph could get behind. He flicked off the stove, grabbed the plates, and walked over to the couch. The guy eyed the breakfast plate that Raph held out to him for a moment before taking it and shoving the toast in his mouth. “You don’t remember anything, do you?”

He paused and scrunched up his face. Then he looked at Raph. “Wait, did we fuck?”

Raph scoffed. “No. You were drunk off your ass. You wouldn’t leave or tell me your address. I was tired, so I just took you back with me.”

“I’ve been drunk at closing time in that pub before. Vinny just shoved me outside and closed up. Woke up on a park bench.”

“Well, you’re lucky it was me on shift and not Vinny.”

“Huh.” Casey finished his toast and started shoveling the eggs in. “That’s cool of you. Band-aids and breakfast and all that. You sure we didn’t fuck?”

“Yeah.” Raph pointed at him with a piece of half-eaten toast. “And you can repay me for all that by never getting drunk in my pub again.”

Casey shrugged. “No promises, nice bartender dude.”

“I’m not nice.”

“I’m Casey Jones, by the way.”

Raph shook his head. “Raph.”

  Casey decided to do the exact opposite of what Raph asked – he showed up at the bar every other night after crashing on Raph’s couch. Sometimes to grab a drink and chat, sometimes to ask for a bit of medical attention “whenever your shift ends, no hurry, I’m just bleeding out over here,” and sometimes these visits ended with Casey getting a little too tipsy to get himself home and him staying the night at Raph’s place. Because every time he did, it was super late and Raph didn’t want to drive him all the way to the edge of the Bronx where the guy lived.

At some point, Casey collapsed into Raph’s bed instead of his couch. Then he kept doing it, sometimes when he wasn’t even drunk. The first time, Raph’s instinct was to literally kick him off the bed, but then Casey crawled back up and they made out, so he let him stay. And Raph kept making breakfast for them every morning. And on the nights when Casey didn’t stop by for a drink, he showed up at the end of Raph’s shift to accompany him home. They started hanging out on their days off. They started watching TV together. Casey would ask him if he wanted to check out a new pizza joint down the street. One evening before work, Casey asked him to help him out in a synch and pick up his little sister from school. Then he met his dad at the 4th of July fireworks. And they both liked him.

Summer in Brooklyn turned to Autumn in Brooklyn, five months passing by in a blur of bartending shifts and late nights spent with Casey Jones. Then, one evening, Leo called.

“So what’re you doing right now, anyway?”

Raph glanced into the kitchen where Casey was microwaving popcorn for their paused X-files marathon. He had promised to spend the night in after showing up the day before with a particularly gut-wrenching bullet graze on his ribs. “Nothing, just watching TV. Jones is here right now, too.”

“Hm. You’ve been hanging out with Mr. Jones a lot lately.”

Raph frowned, because he could hear the smile in Leo’s voice. “Yeah? I guess. Not really. Don’t call him that, it’s weird.”

“I’m just glad you made a friend.” Raph could hear kitchen utensils clanking in the background as Leo prepared dinner. “Honestly, I was afraid you’d get there and spend all your time alone. You were kind of a loner in school, yanno?”

“Okay, you can stop being a mother any time, Leo.” That got a rueful chuckle.

“Hey, you’re coming for Thanksgiving, right?”

Raph tapped the TV remote against his knee and watched Casey lean against the counter and eat popcorn while pretending not to listen to Raph’s end of the conversation. “Uh, Thanksgiving.” Casey glanced at him. “Yeah, I was planning on it. Why?”

“Just checking.”

“Is he coming?” Mikey’s voice registered through the phone as he yelled from the other room.

“Yes!” Leo yelled back. “I’m on the phone, be polite!”

“It’s just Raph!”

Raph chuckled, his chest suddenly aching with how long it had been since he’d seen his littlest brother. “Hey, say ‘hi’ to those two goofballs for me, will ya? Dad, too.”

“Of course. I always do, even when you don’t ask me to.” Leo paused a moment, then said, “Hey, why don’t you ask Casey if he wants to come for Thanksgiving?”

“Leo, he has family here. Pretty sure he’s planning on spending it with them.” Raph cocked an eyebrow at Casey, who was openly staring at him now.

“No, I know, I just think it would be polite to offer. Hold on.” The ridiculously loud sound of a pot of boiling water and pasta being poured into a colander filled the phone for a moment. “Okay, sorry. I mean, you’ve known him for a while, and I’m assuming that means he’s nice, and he’s the first nice friend you’ve made since… Well. He’s the first nice friend you’ve made.”

Raph rolled his eyes. His childhood friend, whom he had affectionately nicknamed Spike, had turned into a massive, sometimes violent dick as they grew older. He ended up having to cut him out of his life entirely and it had sucked. A lot. Donnie had once suggested that the whole thing had stunted Raph’s ability to form relationships, which explained why he never made any friends afterward, and Raph had immediately told him to shut the fuck up and never speculate about his emotional health again. “Okay, you know what? I’ll ask him just so that he can say ‘No,’ and I can repeat that back to you.”

“Alright, thanks!” He could hear that smile in his voice again, and he hated it.

Casey plunked himself back down on the couch after Raph hung up, squinting at him and not offering him popcorn.

Raph reached out and snapped his fingers, refusing to sit up from his slouch. “Popcorn in the middle. You know the rule.”

Casey didn’t move. “Did I just get invited to Thanksgiving at your family’s Ohio ranch?”

Raph kept his stone-cold wall of nonchalance up, but his stomach sank with the realization that this was going to become a conversation. “Uh, yeah, I guess. Leo’s like that.”

Casey shoved a few pieces of popcorn in his mouth and ignored Raph’s glare as he continued to hold the bowl in his lap. “Okay, I accept his invitation.”

Raph felt every muscle in his body tense. Casey raised his eyebrows. The seconds ticked by as Raph didn’t speak, didn’t move, probably didn’t even breathe.

“Dude.”

Raph took in a deep breath and looked away. His hands were suddenly shoved underneath his arms, and his jaw ached from how tense it was.

“Dude.” Casey put the bowl on the floor and scooched closer. “Chill out. Christ. It’s just Thanksgiving, it’s a few days.”

Raph just shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about this right now. “Your old man been pissing you off lately or something? What’s wrong with Thanksgiving with your family?”

Casey put his hands in the air. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Raph. You’ve met my entire family, my sister texts you regularly, my dad has your number in case the car breaks down again! My coworkers have stopped asking if we’re still together and started asking when you’re gonna move in!”

Raph choked on his own spit. “What?”

“Chill out, they’re just stupid.” He rubbed at his eyes with the fingers that didn’t have popcorn butter on them. “Just, we’ve been doing this for what, five months? Give or take?”

Raph shrugged and decided to lie. “I haven’t been counting.”

Casey rolled his eyes. “I haven’t spoken to a single member of your family. Except for that one time Mikey yelled ‘hi’ to me over the phone and I yelled ‘hi’ back. Which was cool, but not exactly what I’d call meeting him.”

“So?”

“So I want to meet them!” He reached over and shoved hard at Raph’s shoulder. “It’s fuckin’ weird that I haven’t! Everyone thinks so!”

“Who’s everyone?”

“And it would be different if you hated them, but I know you would fucking commit murder for any one of them, so that’s not it. And I’m pretty sure they think it’s weird that they haven’t met your boyfriend yet!” He folded his arms. “So I’m going to Thanksgiving.”

Raph looked away and didn’t say anything.

“Raph.”

He shook his head. He looked out the window.

“Raph.” Casey ran his hand through his hair. “Do they know I’m your boyfriend?”

Raph scoffed like he was about to say something snarky, but then didn’t say anything.

“Oh, for fuck’s – Raph.”

“They know you exist-“

“-yeah, obviously-“

“-they just don’t know that when I tell them we’re hanging out, that half the time we’re-“

“-putting our hands in each other’s pants?”

Raph put his hand over his face and stopped talking. Casey let him sit like that for a while.

“Do they even know you like guys?”

Raph sighed. “No, not really. Mikey might, I don’t know. I never told anyone.”

“Okay, why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“I don’t know, because it’s kind of fucked up that your dad told me to ‘call him whenever I need anything,’ but my dad doesn’t even know we’re dating! Because I’m twenty-one years old and living on my own, so it’s kind of pathetic that I can’t just tell my family I like guys when you’ve already introduced me to yours! Because it’s stupid!”

Casey grabbed Raph’s wrist. “Dude, stop, I won’t go to Thanksgiving, okay? I wouldn’t have pushed if I knew it was a big deal.”

“It’s not!”

Casey huffed out a laugh that wasn’t really a laugh. “Oh yeah, it is. But I’m not gonna make you come out to your family just because I came out to mine already. That would be fucked up. Just don’t worry about it, I’ll go next year.” He paused. “If you’ve told them by then.”

Raph peeked at him from beneath his hand. “No, that’s – that’s stupid. I need to tell them, I’ve been meaning to, I just- I don’t know.” Casey pulled the hand from Raph’s face and held it. “Come to Thanksgiving. Meet them. I’ll tell them.”

“Dude, don’t do it if you’re not feeling it.”

“Nah, I’m gonna.”

“We could go, but just be friends while we’re there,” he offered.

“Ugh. No. That’s…” Raph shook his head. “That would be the worst. No way.” He looked from their hands, clasped together in his lap, to Casey’s gaze. “Besides, I do want them to meet you. Even if I know that Donnie’s gonna tear apart your get-rich-quick schemes, and Dad’s gonna hate your table manners.”

Casey cocked an eyebrow at him. “Not making me less nervous to meet the family, Raph.”

“And Leo is gonna tell you all about how dangerous motorcycles are while trying to make it sound like a pleasant conversation.”

“Raph, seriously.”

“But Mikey is gonna love you.”

Casey snorted. “Gee, can’t wait.” He gave Raph a lazy grin.

Raph smiled back, and for a moment, they just sat, holding each other’s hands, and watched each other.

“Now give me the popcorn.”

“It’s almost finished, but okay.”

“Then go make more.”

Casey sighed and got up from the couch to microwave another bag.

[imagines-r-s]

Childhood Memories (PT. 1)

TW: abuse, angsty teenagers, and I think that’s all

OC x Sweet Pea

Please note : I apologize for this taking forever. I just was worried about quality of it because I wasn’t into writing as much as I was before. But luckily that only lasted a little.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I never imagined that me and Sweet Pea would actually be okay together. Especially, when all the odds are against us. It was hard. Our worlds were completely different from each other. No one expected a ghoulie and a serpent to be together.

Sweet Pea and I met when you were kids. As daughter of the leader of the Ghoulies, my dad wanted you to learn how to lead, so he would take you to any Ghoulie business, which included drug deals and attacks to the Serpents. The Serpent vs. Ghoulie feud wasn’t always as brutal as it was no and days. Usually it was just to finish deals and things with FP.

During most of the meetings, I would just walk around Sunnyside Trailer park for the fun of it. Dad honestly didn’t care, he was more worried my brother, Malachi, was watching or not. One day as I was walking around, I saw a serpent who looked to be around my age and he was honestly really cute. He was sitting on the stairs to his trailer and I could tell he had been crying. I walked up to him and as I got closer, I could hear yelling from inside his house.

“Hey. I’m Makenzie Martinez”

“Hi, I’m-” he was interrupted by the sound of glass breaking. “ S-Sam Porter. Can we go somewhere else, please?”

“ Yeah, of course.”

That was the first time that me and Sam ever talked. We became really good friends after that. We had been there for each other for the past 3 years, but then things started getting harder when we both turned 13. We were best friends until we were 13. After that, my dad wanted me to be more active with the ghoulies and when Sam’s dad became more abusive. But we always had our usual spot at pop’s.

“Mack, I can’t do this anymore.” Sam looked sad and I felt awful because I couldn’t do anything.

“ Why don’t you just come stay with me? I can talk to my d-”

“I can’t do that to you. Plus, if my dad found out that I became a part of a drug dealing, no good gang member he would kill me.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I know he didn’t mean that towards me, of course. But I still was really hurt by his comment. I couldn’t say anything, so I just sat there.

“Mack, you okay? I wasn’t meaning that towards you.” Sam could tell that it hurt me, but all I could do was sit there.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m going to go, Sam.” I got up to go and I could feel his eyes follow me. I decided to walk home that day. I don’t know why I got so emotional. But he disrespected my family and it just really hurt me.

After that, me and Sam started to become distant and we never really saw each other outside of school. He made new friends and so did I. I started to get more into ghoulie business and I heard rumors of him becoming a Serpent.  That was all. Once we started high school at Southside High, Sam and I had a few classes together and we had lunch together. The only issue was that the rumors of him becoming a Serpent were true, and the name Sam turned into Sweet Pea.

It was the first day of sophomore year and my first class was AP biology. I knew I would probably be the only Ghoulie in that class considering the fact that a lot of the Ghoulies didn’t want to do anything other than drug deal, but I wanted to make something of myself and leave Riverdale as soon as I could. I want to keep my 4.0 GPA and not let any of this follow me into my future. I couldn’t do that. I got settled in an empty seat in the back and as I was getting ready I saw him. Sam probably wanted the same thing I did. Especially with the issues with his family.

He sat by me, which made people look. They knew I was a Ghoulie and that he was a Serpent and they were just waiting for something to start.

“ Hi Sam.”

“ Hi Mack.”

“ I see you joined the Serpents? Glad you didn’t get stuck with the drug dealing, no good Ghoulies,” I smiled a very sarcastic smile.

“Still sarcastic as usual, I see. Is your dad still leading or is Malachi?”

“Malachi. My dad was killed over the summer in a shootout.”

“Ma-”

��No. I don’t want your pity.”

Class had started and me and Sam got assigned as lab partners. We started getting closer over the school year. I would tell him about Ghoulie business and he told me about Serpent stuff. It was basically like old times, we were good about hiding it until someone snitched on us to FP and Malachi at the end of sophomore year.

“ Do you understand why I’m mad, Mackenzie?” Malachi started yelling at me as he drove me home.

“ Not really, to be honest.”

“ You can’t be friends with that Serpent boy. I know you used to be when dad was alive, but things have changed.”

“No, you can’t choose who I’m friends with.”

“ If you want to be an official member of the Ghoulies, then yes you will.”

“ Wowwww.”

I stormed off into my room, locking the door, and then I started crying. I can’t lose him again. It’s not fair to either of us.

SERPENT BOY: hey mack. Idk if you still have this number

ME: yeah. Hey

SERPENT BOY: do you want to hangout with me at Pop’s?

ME: usual spot?

SERPENT BOY: of course

I had to sneak out of the window, so that way I could start walking to Pop’s.

SERPENT BOY: are you walking?

ME:yeah. Why?

SERPENT BOY: i’m close

After he said that, I heard the roar of a motorcycle. He stopped and handed me a helmet. I stood there in awe.

“Why do you seem so confused?” he asked laughing.

“I just never expected the Sam Porter to have a motorcycle.”

“Yeah, but Sweet Pea does.”

I put on the helmet and we went to Pop’s. It felt like old times, we took off our jackets so that way it was just us, no gangs. I was so happy.

“Mack, can I be honest with you?” We had just ordered our food so it would be a little while before we got our food.

“Yeah, I guess,” I say sipping on the straw of my strawberry milkshake.

“I’m really sorry for what I said a few years ago. I just wasn’t thinking.”

“No, it’s whatever. Don’t feel bad for it. Now that Malachi is in charge, I actually agree with it.”

“Why?”

“All he wants is the money, dad was in for the unity of it all, nothing else really. We just had to do what we had to do. Now, Malachi just wants to sell JJ. “

“I see. I see. Hey Mack, I really missed you.”

“ I missed you, too, Porter.”

“Mackenzie. Ummm.-” “What?”

“Why are there a bunch of Ghoulie bikes pulling up?”

Fuck. You looked at your phone and saw a bunch of messages from Malachi. I would run to the bathroom, but the bathroom was by the front door and you were in the corner.

“Sam, I have to hide.”

Sam whispered something to Pop and he let me hide behind the counter. I was stressing. He couldn’t find me in the place he told me I couldn’t be.

“ Mackenzie, I know you’re here. I saw your jacket on some Serpent bike. You better come with me now or else something happens to your boy over here. “

SERPENT BOY: stay back there mack. I’ll be okay.

ME: no i can’t have you get hurt because of my mess.

I heard Malachi and Sam talking and then, I heard them leave. I was about to step out when Pop told me to wait. Both Sam and I had gotten closer to Pop over the years, so we knew him well. I waited a while and I heard the door open. Pop told me I could get up because it was just Sam.

“Omg, Sam.”

“Mack, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. Because it’s my fault. At least let me take you home and clean you up?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

We left on his bike and I felt awful for how that all went down. He took me to Sunnyside Trailer Park and then to his trailer. It was different than the one I met him at. But I could tell it was just him that lived here, but I didn’t want to ask him about it.

“ Where is your first aid kit?” I asked looking in the bathroom.

“Second drawer on the left.”

I got it and I came out to the kitchen. I pulled out one of the chairs he had.  

“Sit.”

“Mack, I’m fine. I can do this myself.”

“Sit,” I said, more assertively. “I’m so sorry. I should have gone back out -”

“No, it’s fine. I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not okay you literally have a bunch of scratches and bruises on your face because my brother got all pissy.”

“Why was he so mad anyways?”

“ He told me, he doesn’t want me messing with a serpent. But it’s okay, you’re my best friend so I’m not letting it happen.”

Sam and I were really close now. I could feel his breathing on my neck as I cleaned up a scratch on his forehead. I could tell when it hurt him to put the peroxide on it because he grabbed the back of my leg, when they sat on his knee. I had finally fixed up his scratches and stuff. The clock on the microwave read 10:38 once I had finished.

“Do you mind if I just stay here tonight? I doubt I will be okay at home and I don’t want to see my brother. “

“Yeah, totally you can stay as long as you need.” Sam said. He seemed extremely anxious though and I wasn’t sure why. “You can take the bed and I’ll take the floor.”

“No, I can’t kick you out of your own bed. Either we’re both on the bed or I’m on the floor.”

“Fine. We can both have the bed,” this wasn’t the first time we had done this though. When things got bad at home or things with Sam’s dad got too bad, I would stay over to make sure he felt okay.

I kept getting messages from Malachi, so I just completely turned off my phone, I couldn’t take it. Sam fell asleep, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t help, but think how much pain I would cause Sam if anything happened. I couldn’t let him get hurt because of me. Halfway through the night, I got bored so I turned on my phone. I had gotten a lot of texts from Malachi asking where I was, who I was with, and what would happen once I got home. I turned my phone back off after that. I tried falling asleep until Sam had gotten up to go to the bathroom. I could hear him talking to himself through the door.

“ Why are you so scared to tell her? She should know. But if she finds out she probably won’t feel the same and she’d completely drop me as her friend. I can’t just be like Mackenzie, I’ve liked you since we were 13. I can’t just say that.”

I had to fake like I was asleep or I could confront him? Fake sleep it is. I couldn’t just tell him that I’ve felt the same. So I just tried to fall asleep shortly after.

I woke up to an empty bed. I got up and headed to the kitchen to see 4 people in Sam’s living room. None of which I knew and all of them being Serpents, but they all seemed to be around my age.

“Oh, I was just leaving. Sorry to interrupt.” I said, almost running for the door.

“You don’t have to leave, Mack.” Sam said.

I could see two of the other Serpents that I had seen around school talk amongst themselves.

“Mack? Do you know her, Sweet Pea?” the girl on the far corner said.

“ Wait, Mack as in Mackenzie? Mackenzie Martinez?As in Ghoulie leader’s sister?” the boy said, in complete awe.

“Yeah, umm, that’s me. Anyways, Sam, I better g-”

“Sweet Pea, how do you know her? And why does she call you Sam?” the girl said.

“We’re umm. Childhood friends. She’s not like her brother, I promise,” Sam said.

“ I was just born into a gang of drug dealers, so please don’t mind me.”

“I’m Toni,” the girl said.

“I’m Fangs,” the boy said.

“I would love to stay and chat, but I think my brother is about to kill me,sooooo. Anyways, Sam, I might have to come back later if that’s ok.”

“Yeah, that’s totally fine, Mack.”

SAM’S POV

I sighed as she left. I hated to have to see her go back to where her brother was.

“Dude, why didn’t you tell us you and Martinez were friends?” Fangs asked.

“ I just was afraid of something happening to her. She already gets enough at home, plus she’s been there for me all this time. I couldn’t let anything happen to her. “ I say, feeling like I should tell her this.

“You totally like her. I mean I don’t blame you. She’s hot.” Toni says.

“No no no. I don’t.”

Toni and Fangs shared a look saying they knew, too.

“ Fine, I do. But I can never tell her.”

“Why not?” Fangs asked.

“We were already not friends for a while. I can’t go through that again. Plus, everything is against us.” I said, planting down on the coach.

MACK: i just got home. I’ll text you after to see if i’m coming back or not.

ME: okk

“Is that her?” Toni asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Yeah, it is. Leave me alone.”

“Guys, we have to go to the Whyte Worm for the meeting. So let’s go. “

As serpents, we would meet at the Whyte Worm whenever FP said we needed to. Most of the meeting, I wasn’t even paying attention. I was thinking about if Mackenzie was okay or not. She’s been through so much, especially with the fact that she’s only 15. As FP was discussing something, I get a text.

MACK: we need to talk

ME: how serious?

MACK: about two things.

MACK: three things actually. Meet me at the house of the dead.

ME: i can’t go there by myself.

MACK: ok. I obviously won’t be alone either.

I asked Toni and Fangs to come with, because I didn’t trust the Ghoulies.

MACKENZIE’S POV

As soon as I got home, I regretted it. Malachi started yelling at me and he actually hit me

this time which I honestly didn’t expect. I was hoping he would never succumb to that. But I knew it was coming. Nothing else happened, so I just went to my room. As soon as I got there, Malachi came barging in.

“Mack, give me your phone.” He said, holding out his hand.

“Ummm. Why?”

“I want to text your little Serpent Boy.” Malachi said, but he had this devilish look in his eye  

that scared me.

“No.”

“Mackenzie, just understand, you’re involved in this plan either way. So either agree or don’t.”

“Yeah, umm I don’t agree.”

“Ok. Come here, Drew. “

“Malachi, what are you doing.”

“ Give me the phone or you’ll see. “

“I’m not giving you my ph-.”

Before I even knew what was happening, Drew had started punching me as if it were  

Ghoulie initiation and I was a serpent. Malachi walked out as soon as Drew gave him the phone. You laid there in pain, and just waiting for another hit to come to you. After a few minutes, Drew and Malachi came back in and practically dragged you out to the couch outside of the house. Malachi had Drew and another Ghoulie named, Michael, hold me down for a while and of course they had to force me to have jingle jangle .

“Why are we out here?” I said, sounding exhausted.

“Waiting on your Serpent boy to come to the rescue. “ I didn’t even realize that’s why he would have wanted my phone, but I was so scared of what was coming.

I saw Sam pull up with his motorcycle.

“SAM GO IT-” I got interrupted by Michael putting his hand over my mouth.

“I’ll be okay, Mackenzie.”

“Well if it isn’t good old Serpent Boy?” Malachi said, he started to grab his bat and I got so scared for what was coming.

“I just want Mackenzie. That’s all”

“Awwww. How cute? Serpent Boy wants Mackenzie back.” Everything started to go foggy and hazy. I couldn’t focus on anything that was going on in front of me. Once the fight started, everything went to black.