#he probs didnt know who to crush on

[peanutheaddd]

forgot abt my fantasy au for a hot sec (thoughts abt this au under cut ^_^)

yolay is counting the days down til she can be come queen and completely rework the system from the ground up LLLLOOOOLLLLLL

sarah has grudges against the government which is why she runs an underground news outlet . this is also why she and yolay get along. i like to think she was complaining abt the kingdom 2 her without realizing she was the princess and yolay was like I agree with u 100%. U should be my advisor when i become queen. (YURI WIN!)

dog man is created bc he + knight get cursed (by petey) . irreversible btw

i think dog man plays some kind of small wind instrument in this au (pan flute mayhaps) . and he teaches lil petey. i js dont think hed play the piano bc of the setting .

i didnt draw nurse lady but shes a cleric .

petey abandons lil petey in the woods in this au (im thinking it was Somewhat on accident. he was walking too fast and he kinda knew it and when he lost lil petey he was like well . taht worked out ig <- guy who is about to feel remorse so great it crushes his soul)

dog man finds lil petey bc hes on patrol or smth . or hes js running through the woods. knowing him its probs the latter

the ourple stones on petey and lil peteys fits are js magic stones . lil peteys stone has a protection spell cast on it . idk abt peteys. i think the cuff stones inherently have magic in them and the cloak + belt stones he imbued w his own magic .

petey is a magic user but he understands the effectiveness of using machinery . thus artificer (ty to person who rbed my first post of this au asking if petey is an artificer bc i had no idea that was even a thing . but that is def him dawg)

peteys main vessels for magic r the purple stones and lilac flowers (stones for defensive/ability enhancing spells and lilacs for destructive spells) . he can use other things in a pinch but he js prefers those .

dog mans main job in this au is to be yolays personal guard . mostly at yolays insistence bc she fw dog man heavy . i think she tends to have a better day when dog mans guarding her js bc he cares less abt maintaining strict etiquette and . well yk . hes dog man. goling

in this universe theres an asl equivalent (so js a sign language for deaf people) but theres also a sign language used by thieves . this is a language that petey knows and hes the one who ends up teaching dog man how to sign . altho it results in dog man only being able to use it to talk to petey and some criminals. but he probs ends up learning the common sign language through that

theres probs more but i cant think of anything ^_^ LOL so thats it

[reason-with-the-underdog]

so it's a situationship (ND version)

ok but imagine if alhaitham had in his youth dismissed romance novels as "silly" and only as an adult (post-breakup) did alhaitham start finding value in reading them

so kaveh's very much unprepared for haitham bringing a new romantic male lead energy to their "friendship"

alhaitham, in the days and months after their breakup, starts to read romance novels and character-focused fiction as a way to figure out went wrong in their final confrontation & to understand why kaveh cared so deeply for the feelings of other people to his own detriment

meanwhile, kaveh taped together the torn up thesis and then buried himself with work so he could graduate on time, establish his career, build the palace, etc

which is how we get to where alhaitham seems to have grown a lot since their fight (which was his "rock bottom")

while kaveh's been so busy, he never had time to reflect deeply on the fight

...not until he became bankrupt and homeless & alhaitham was suddenly right there holding out a helping hand

which is why we see kaveh's growth in real time!

kaveh needed a more stable and supportive environment to finally realize the changes in alhaitham and in himself and what that means for how they can relate to each other...!

notice how kaveh's always taken aback when alhaitham suddenly behaves differently than expected

backing down instead of continuing to argue over philosophies

overthrowing the government (!!!)

practically begging to be thanked

the thing is: kaveh is so used to his akademiya-era understanding of alhaitham that its startling when alhaitham has in fact grown up from that unsociable little junior who scoffed a little at his senior when kaveh was distraught over the MC's heartbreak in a novel he was reading

because now apparently alhaitham not only reads that same novel series, he has a personally signed copy of the sequel! and has the next book on pre-order! kaveh hasn't even had the time to read the last three volumes he's been so busy

what is this!! when did alhaitham change??

(what else has kaveh missed in those missing years when they didnt talk to each other)

anyways so nowadays you'll find them curled up on the couch together reading two books from the same romance novel series and kaveh is elbowing alhaitham bc "no spoilers!! you know i haven't had time to catch up until now!"

also consider that the focus on all the nonverbal cues of attraction in these romance novels that alhaitham read finally clued him into the fact that kaveh prob was attracted to him back then

and that their "friendship" may have been seen as something deeper by everyone else...

basically:

kaveh liked alhaitham in their akademiya days, and he figured he was SUPER obvious about his crush and pretty much did everything besides straight up confessing "i like you in a way that's more than friends. lets date"

but alhaitham never picked up on the signs.... so kaveh figures that there's no interest on alhaitham's part.

and kaveh would never outright say "i want to date you romantically" to alhaitham bc of his own experiences with feeling pressured after someone asks him out

(he says yes out of pity and then it ends after the first few dates at longest)

...kaveh didn't want a pity date from alhaitham. so no confession, and he buries those feelings deep down because friendship is good, too

meanwhile alhaitham has no idea what normal platonic friendships are like vs romantic friendships vs romantic relationships (also they're literally teenagers here, being geniuses only makes them worse at figuring this stuff out honestly)

it's only after alhaitham reads several romance novels that he figures out kaveh's feelings post-breakup... unfortunately kaveh is no longer talking to him at that point so......

alhaitham spends the breakup period coming to terms with his feelings & accepting that yeah he loves kaveh

its actually fun for him in an intellectual way how his heartrate will accelerate upon seeing that kaveh's published a response to his latest paper or message board note

plus, kaveh is a public figure so its easy enough to keep tabs on his general well being. even thought kaveh avoids seeing alhaitham in person, they are still communicating over text in an academic way so that's good enough

alhaitham at that fateful tavern meeting never expected anything more, but one thing after another and now they're living together

and oh this is so much better.

and worse.

romance novels never include that the love interest hogs the bathroom for hour-long showers. and those love interests also don't start hammering away at models at 3 am

but alhaitham now gets to see kaveh wide-eyed with excitement over his epiphany (even if its at 11 at night), and he's the first one kaveh tells when he discovers a new blend of coffee he likes or when the bazaar vendors give him a special deal on his favorite fruits

it's funny, kaveh complains constantly about all the books alhaitham leaves scattered throughout the house, but he fails to notice that there are quite a few romance novels incorporated into alhaitham's daily readings

now, as an adult who's done his research (so many novels!) alhaitham's more prepared to notice the signs of romantic interest!

...unfortunately he can see that kaveh acts similarly to how they were in akademiya except with more distance...

which means.... kaveh's not interested anymore

& alhaitham can see how kaveh's still led by his guilty conscience, which is why kaveh goes out of his way to do kind things for alhaitham in return

so: kaveh no longer returns his feelings.

it's ok. there's still value in observing his own emotional responses around someone he loves, even if those feelings are not returned in the same way

[brownied0ll]

(NOT PROOF READ)

Ony x black!f!reader

Sooo basicallyyyy fem reader who lowkey strong asf get jealous but like she little bitty like literally 5’1 while ony a whopping 6,4 everytime YALL argue you give him some rough bruises then y��all fuck it out

Warnings: nsfw! P in V, jealousy, toxic relationship, idk what else tbh

You and Ony were cuddling on the couch watching “missing” for like the 100th time, he half sleep half woke and his phone started dingin’ at first you didn’t really pay attention. But then it started getting constant so you picked up his phone and put his passcode in to see messages from instagram? but you was pretty sure you told him to delete that shit!

Next thing you know you scrolling through some texts from a bitch named “Ri’hna” it’s like they were texting non-stop yk damn well he aint drop sum off for her ONE time you was finna wake his ass up and slap him in his shit but something told you too see what this bitch look like so you know who you finna beat tf up.

after about like 35-40ish minutes of checking her socials (off of his phone) the bitch texted talkin’ bout’ sum “mmm why you looking at my page sm?? You obsessed aint you 👅👅?” First of all, the bitch was ugly asf and built sloppy second of all, the bitch knew he had a girl! Thats what made you aggressively wake up ony.

“Hmm..? What ma-“ he said sluggishly and he was tired but once a hard ass slap hit him across his face he woke up right away “y/n what the fuck?!” He said like he didnt know what was going on (he didnt) “now who tf is ri’hna?” You said calmly but in a minute you was finna go off “what is you talkin’ bout?!” Ony looked at you with a confused faced then you punch him in his nose, “nigga stop playing dumb with me” you said tryna keep yourself from hitting him again “y/n you ain’t gon keep hitting’ me!” “NIGGA JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION” you said finally gettin loud after that Yall started fighting not just yelling but fist fighting

Ony ended up spendin’ the night at armin and his girls house (your friend) “damnnn she fucked yo shit up!” Armin said feeling bad Ony had a couple bruises over his face nd a somewhat black eye “what did you do fa ha do dat?” F/n had asked with a concerned look, “ion even fuckin know! She just started asking me who Ri’hna is..” “well who is she” f/n had asked “she a regular drop off but she got a crush on Ony” armin and had said “well if yk she gatta crush on you.. why don’t you block ha or sum’ ?” F/n had asked a good question “because she a customer and y/n shouldve look at the messages better I don’ t respond unless she ask for a drop!” Armin and f/n look at each other “welllll—“ armin said “how bout you just go talk to her yk Yall gon end up back togetha’ anyway” he was right no matter how many times y’all “broke up” or fought y’all ended up fuckin’ it out nd being lovey doves again

It was about 2:23 am you heard a knock at yo apartment door you was confused asf because why somebody at your door at 2 somthing in da morning? You looked through da peep hole, suprise suprise it was no other than ony

“Ngh~! Ohh~!” “Fuck-fuck-fuckkkk” here you two are fucking like animals on the living room floor, that’s how terrible it is y’all didn’t even make it to the bedroom! “Mama, you better not beat me up like that again understand?” Ony said somewhat outa Breath while in missionary still pounding tf outa you. “Don’t make me want~to beat you up aga~in” you said with moans interrupting your words. “You didn’t even let me try to explain myse-“ you shut him up with a French kiss “that’s the past this the present forget about that”

After a couple days the same thing happened which ended up in you two fucking YOURE problems out again this relationship was not healthy at all.

Heyyy y’all! so prob tmr ima do the thing cuz gojo won the poll! This is short so hopefully in the future I make longer ones but I ain’t good a typing for a long time.. but anyways yup bye love y’all😘

[violaextract]

NOT ONLY CLASS SWAPPED SCYTHEBELTS, BUT ALL CLASS SWAPPED FATED??

you try to give a flower to your crush and your powers go haywire smh

hi so if you saw the og class swaps i did for the fated in like,, 2020 maybe,, uhhhhhhh no you didnt ( you can see the og ones behind them in the line up )

this time i chose sub classes for them!! and they are very silly, BELOW THE CUT IS MY THOUGHTS AND WHY I CHOSE THE SUBCLASSES I DID, IF YOU WANNA HEAR MY RANTING VVVV

sylnan is circle of shepherd, i felt that it suited him, especially with the idea that he could steal from people with the help of animals, also because he lived with the rats, so,, ykyk,, also the vines can be used to climb stuff because thats cool, i love the guardian spell too, basically you get downed and you can summon a spirit that will attack anything that gets near you, ( even if the spell doesnt attack teammates or non threats its a nice idea for braad to be the only one who can get near him when this happens, and possibly as the party grows together the others can also approach him ) also the vest design is meant to mimic a ribcage, i think i had an idea of why i did this but forgot,, it just looks cool. maybe something to do with his death or his emotions, whos to say

braad, arcane trickster, SURPRISING NO ONE, hes silly thief guy who maybe became a rouge to help their situation, but he was kinda just hiding it from his brother, until the pact thing happened and then after the pact is severed, hes a trickster instead of a bard. he needs to be able to do his silly illusions, also i like to think he just happens to doge stuff, like by sheer coincidence

velrisa, college of lore, i thought because she wouldnt be a cleric for weejas, she could be a sort of, storyteller if you will, spreading the word and fighting for her god with music, she still does stuff with undead and whatnot being raised by clerics, but she simply found another way to show that,( maybe she struggled with normal cleric magic also maybe she relates to mountain )

taxi, battle master fighter, it was this or champion, but i feel like it fit what with what we know about his parents, in this he was trained and whatnot, it was probs a gillion tidestrider thing where it was fucked and he throughout the fated travels learns to fight for himself and protect the people he cares about instead of listening to what people told him he should be fighting for. also maybe he could become some sort of champion because its taxi, i love him.

mountain, war domain, like with taxi i was inbetween war domain and death domain, i felt death domain because the death of his wife maybe threw him into that, but i felt that what with mountain being in a fighting ring and meeting his wife there, that war fit better, he is a crazy good fighter and healing also possibly learnt from Hilda and heightened after her death. hes still mountain though so alcholic cleric punch healing and shenanigans, dont think that just because hes a healer now hes devoid of everything that makes mountain, mountain. plus with taxi, maybe hes very involved with helping taxi find his fight, and with vel, she knows about cleric stuff despite not being one so ykyk

okay rant over, the read more thing didnt work so IM SORRY, i put too much thought into this BYEEE

[midnight---hollow]

Sketch pile mainly of vee and azul. I got sloppy during the coloring cus i wanted to work on other projects but im still proud of how this turned out. This is prob the first time i actually drew them interacting cus normally i just do sketches of them separate. They are childhood friends turn crushes turn “business partners we are very platonic business partners” cus vee has yet to clock their own feelings and azul has noticed his but is to embarrassed to properly confess. They basically avoid the topic throughout ncr (horribly so they are both very obvious) though i think they finnally confess to each other before leaving for their internships on fourth year

Im gonna go more into them in the read more so click if you want that ^^ but it is oc/sona x cannon and i yap ALOT so beware that-

Vee fell first azul fell harder, albeit vee didnt realize they loved azul like that for a long time but they did fall first

Vee fell for azul when he unlocked his um. Vee isnt powerhungry or ambitious like azul, they didnt get what about it made him so happy, but the fact he was smiling so bright and laughing so genuinely and rambling on. Vees has known azul from before elementary school. They knew who he was before the bullying and before he became so ridged. while their care for him never changed, they realized they liked him best when he was happy and maybe more than vees liked anyone else

Azul realize his crush on vee during land camp. Vee wasnt able to go because they didnt get an invitation to nrc. Azul was lock in and focused on acclimating to the human world, he was doing better than floyd and debatably jade and he should be proud of himself but his mind kept wandering. It was the first time hed been so far from vee and he just felt different. When land camp was over and they all head back to the sea to do their final packings for school it clicked how much he liked vee and oh he didnt take it well. Floyd was poking him with a pieces of coral because fainted with his eyes open. He was cooked especially because now that he knows this he realized how obvious hes been.

Eventually he comes to his senses and creates a “game plan.” He originally was going to confess, he thought long and hard about it and thought if he made everything perfect and woed vee like the princes in those stories. He plans everything to the T; finds the best restaurant on land, sets up a perfect boat ride, finds all the spots on the nearby island to visit, he thinks vee has never been on land before (they have multiple times already for work) so he wants to amazing them with everything he learned.

It goses horribly, vee is really excited to go and exploring the town goes as expected but dinner takes a turn. Azul says that the restaurants special is a seafood salad and vee orders it out of curiosity, issue being they are a carnivore. Azul just has to watch as they take their first bite and their expressions slowly shift into one of disgust as they dont want to finish what they had just ordered but that one bite alone was so horrible. Azul offers they trade meals as he ordered a salmon which vee happy ate and shared with him but azul was inwardly panicking

Then came the boat ride. I drew this awhile ago and its basically what happened (the little mermaid boat scene, i think its a requirement any octavinelle ship ever has to have that scene happen). It was going well but azul was supposed to confess during the song and he kept fumbling, he couldnt say it he was to worried about the chance of vee saying no and risking embarrassment but this time infront of one of the closest people to him. Jade and floyd are in the water and they where having fun at first singing the song and forcing some fish to play instruments but after they start to clock the fact azul cant confess jade gets a little… annoyed. He pushes the boat and floyd realizing the potential fun shakes the other side, eventually the boat flips over and they swim away laughing leaving vee and azul to swim to shore despite being in their human forms and being at a disadvantage

Azul is starting to cry, you couldnt tell because they are both soaked and the date was ruined and he mad an embarrassment of himself infront of only to get caught off guards by the sound of soft laughter. Turning to his side vee is laugh, just as soaked but smile bright. They exclaim how much they missed spending time with him and how lonely its been since he and the twins left. Quietly he hears them say “i wish this didnt have to end… wish you didnt have to leave” and without thinking he offers a deal. “I get you into night raven. I find a way to get you in and in return… you work for me. Stay by my side like the twins do, im going to take the human world by storm and your help is more than valuable.” After some talking, the paper is signed and a mark appears on their arms connecting them. Azul may have snuck something in the fine print (i wanna to more into this with a comic in the future

Vee doesnt know how he managed to do it but a week before school starts they get their letter and immediately they go to celebrate with azul and the twins

I was gonna talk about the first job vee did for azul and how it went bad but i think i want to save it for something jade related cus vee and jade have BEEF. their dynamic is my fav out of vee with octotrio, obvi im biased towards azul and floyd cus they are my favs but jade is so interesting to me and i want to understand him so badly. So instead of talking about that imma do small hc’s

Vee loves sweets especially gummy worms and fish

First year azul vee jade and floyd all bunked in the same room with the two twin beds in the room moved together. Its a mer bonding technique and for vee its extra important because white tips like sleeping in pods.

Second year azul and jade get special rooms as they are house warden and vice, jade lets floyd crash in his room and azul lets vee crash in his

Azul has an evil laugh but he also has a soft more genuine laugh that makes him hiccup

Azul is the strongest strength wise of the group followed by vee, he just has bad dexterity and is the least used to fighting so he leaves it to floyd and jade claim its a bad look for him

Vee is a REALLY fast runner but cant join the track team because when they are running they instinctively want to chase anyone they see running away from them. This is much to vargas’s dismay who tries to get them to join each gym class

Vee works in the kitchen primarily, making drinks and pastries. They also do guard work with azul, just as extra muscle incase anyone gets any ideas but they mainly prefer to just bake

Vee joined the popmusic club because azul said “well youve never been to school before, maybe your goal should be to make friends and acclimate” and they thought the popmusic show they hosted was extremely friendly and cool (also they didnt have that many hobbies when they started nrc but they knew how to play trumpet)

Vee believes lillia is an expert human and after a week of popmusic club they start to take lessons from him so they can become an expert human aswell. Pointy ears and flying is normal human behavior right?

Azul didnt know vee actually had work friends. He doesnt know alot about vees life but he remembers being extremely caught off guards when during parents day comes around and he sees vee run up to a group of shark mers. He was ok with it at first but then he learned more from vee and he lowkey got jealous as vee talked about their friend “lemon” and how talented and cool he is (vee veiws him as an older brother but azul didn’t know that)

Azul needs glasses because during land camp be made a contract with the twins. eels can barely see and while it was fine in the sea, on land they where suffering a bit. he gifts them some of his eyesight in return for their loyalty

Because of his contracts being destroyed in book 3. The next day after the ob was hell. Azul was sickly and vomiting ink, vee was tweaking because the bond mark was gone, and the twins were locked up in their room because they lost their vision

Mk thats it for now i am yapping way to much. I just really like them and my best friend said twst is becoming a special interest which i called cap at first but then i realized i had three of the books, am reading the octavinelle manga, have multiple twst fanfic tabs open and frequently check multiple or the tabs, and draw fan art which i dont draw this much fanart for hyperfixations. Idk it dont matter that much i see silly i wanna draw sillies. I need to do a meme animatic for april fools now tho so hope this was bad and im not more cringe than i thought i was

Random tidbit but my drawing tablet shows colors alot differently than how they appear on phone and computer. Like its extremely noticeable cus vees hair was bright neon pink on the screen. I had to adjust constantly esp for the skin tones to make sure nothing looked to off. Gotta figure out how to fix tha

[onesidedradiostatic]

Re: https://www.tumblr.com/onesidedradiostatic/768559046590627840/sp-sp-spades-i-didnt-take-the-diamonds-into

aroace comrade here, (everyone’s mileage varies, and I’m not a broad representative or anything) and I didn’t see anything that explicitly couldn’t be aroacey for Mammon in this ep? I put that down to having oblivious!aroace goggles permanently glued onto my face, so I’m open to being told otherwise! These are just my thoughts as dot points, I’m not poking at anyone specifically.

- Asking someone if they want to go out later or after something doesn’t always mean “on a date”, it can just mean like, hanging out, and it can also be as banal as walking vaguely next to each other, small talking about work or in awkward silence, buy lunch at the same cafe, walk back to work and then not even eat lunch together or see each other again that day because you’re coworkers and not actual friends

- ‘out on the town’ means getting pissed at multiple establishments, or even a shopping spree, being demanding nuisances. It evokes, like, a montage of over-indulgence, which checks out for Greed. You can go out on the town with anyone, relationship-irrelevant. I’m not sure if these mean something different in America?

- “fuck with” doesn’t always mean fuck with, it can mean “put up with”

- Mammon seemed unimpressed (in the australian sense of “pissed off”) when Bee told him to eat a dick, so maybe eating dick isn’t something he thinks “applies” to him. If Bee had used any other thing that can be eaten, he’d probably reply with “THANK YOU I WILL”. He looks even less impressed at being told to go fuck himself, so maybe that’s not something he’s into either. He seemed most pissed at being called a big asshole. XD ig he’s “I can excuse [everything harmful], but I draw the line at calling me fatass or implying I fuck” He dishes out sexual insults but he can’t take them.

- he ate the dick ice cream later without complaint because free ice cream is free ice cream: dick-shaped doesn’t really matter if it’s not actively being discussed. He’d probs eat it if it landed on the floor. (If I was offered free garlic bread but it was dick-shaped and no one was talking about sex in that moment, or telling me to go eat a dick, I’d probably definitely eat it, my 24/7 want for garlic bread outweighs my aversion to [sex-themed things + myself] “fuck it, it’s food”)

- It kinda came across to me that he was oblivious of how asking someone to go out with him while eating a dick shaped icecream would look to other people, which is funny to me. The unsynchronised blink says “head empty”

- This interaction could be interpreted as a crush, but I didn’t see it that way.(aroace goggles) I think he wants to be Wanted, like, in the only way he knows, which is materially. He has no positive connections with the other sins that we’ve seen so far, but Wants to be one of the cool kids, (the coolest kid, hog the attention etc) and Lev doesn’t actively shit on him like Ozzie and Bee, here. Lev’s indifference could seem like an allyship compared to Oz and Bee.

- He included Lev in his group of ‘like-minded superior elites’, considering himself better than/above fucking the lower class, maybe he thinks he’s above fucking at all? He could be the “[food] is better than sex” stereotype of ace.

It’s been interesting seeing what other people think!

(prev)

see I think there are a lot of ways to interpret anything, even characters intended to be allo and their actions, in an aro/ace manner

like yeah I still get being ace while talking about sexual stuff or sucking on dick shaped popsicles like I'd do that because I'm kind of an unserious person and find sex jokes funny even if I don't care to have sex with anyone!!! I can see characters doing that too!!

but like my thing is there is no reference to his asexuality through all of it, there are things that could be interpreted in an asexual way but there is nothing put into those scenes that the average viewer who doesn't know about the helluva pride art that mammon is saying all these asexually, it just looks like he's shaming oz and bee for fucking the lower class and not high class like "the rest of us", like of course maybe he fucks without/with little sexual attraction or maybe he was shaming them for fucking in general idk!

my thing isn't really that any of these disprove mammon being ace (because obviously regardless he is still canonically ace) but rather that I wish there was SOMETHING that called out to his asexuality, that even the average viewer could get, but like okay. the series isn't over yet of course so we could still get something in the future, I just wished his first appearance after the helluva pride art would allude to it in some way, but if they do allude to it in the future it'd be cool to have ace rep that's more favourable towards sex even if mammon isn't really uh the most positive portrayal of asexuality

(also having the "good" characters tell the ace character he's unfuckable and that he should keep fucking himself kindaaaaa doesn't sit right with me, I really don't want to read bad faith into mammon being made ace rep but it's but it gets kinda hard like this)

[catboylister]

if you’re still having rooster thoughts romantic style how do you think they get together lol

IM GKAD YOU ASKED ANON okay so you can interpret it as bicci never get together if you want but in my head bicci are a thing currently since thats how the rooster/biccondi timeline works on my head. yes biccindi. the ark polycule is real.

so i think at the same time rowans questioning his sexuality, lister is questioning his gender. rowan finds that out because his skirts and stuff keep going missing, turns out listers playing dress to impress because why would he buy his own stuff when you can just steal your friends behind his back ? anyway rowan is glad to yap about more feminine fashion to lister and help him style stuff, esp since he doesnt get to talk about that with jimmy and bliss doesnt seem like the type of girl to be too into fashion either. they get to bond a lot over it like its a just them thing which they didnt really have before.

blah blah blah , rowan thinks hes slowly developing a bit of a crush on lister, has no idea what this means, hed have no issues with himself liking someone other than a women, its just the fact that its lister. why the fuck would he have the hots for lister. who knows, romanve is weird let it be weird. but whats worse than that is that lister is already dating jimmy, theyve been together for a while (they were probs on and off and on and off until eventually they do settle and be Normal) and hes convinced hes a horrible best friends for doing this to jimmy. even though technically he hasnt done anything bevause hes never acted on these feelings.

lister is having similar thoughts at the same time, but feeling like an awful partner instead. potential for a lot of guilt related to how hes proceived as a bit of a manwhore to a lot of people too.

anyway jimmys sus, hes getting a vibe and he wouldve thought hed be more jealous since he has been a bit in the past, but hes just. not. but he starts asking stuff anyway, gets it out of rowan first and hes like cool. anyways. i imagine when he talks to lister about it hes like "hey what do you think of rowan? do you think hes attractive?" and all that. and listers like holy shit my boyfriend thinks im a whore and he hates me and im awful. but jimmy is again chill with it. i also think lister uses this conversation to talk about how hes questionng gender at the same time (i personallyhc him as genderfluid because why not, its fun.) after those conversations jimmy is playing wingman for his boyfriend and his bestfriend and its just stupid and silly and sweet.

i dont think jimmy has any attraction to rowan, and vise versa. they just share a boygirlfriend and are chill about it.

anyway yeah thats my rooster timeline, its existed in my hwad for like 3 years, glad to get it out there. i would write a fic but i have 1000 ideas already so if i was going to itd be a while. but yeah ^_^

[cloggedarteri]

ive been reading the ffxv japanese translations and ive been taking notes as usual. take a peek if you'd like (this shit is not proof read, this came straight from the dome)

--ch 1:

♡the way regis speaks to noctis is so informal compared to eng...hes very close i feel

♡"Prompto: Ah, they sell Ebony here. Ignis will be happy"---prompto is so considerate bruh. its so sweet that he had an eye out for things ignis likes. it says something to have someone remember things about you....prompto has the fattest crush on ignis i can smell it

♡prompto is so cute omg: "Hooray. Just one more!" he says after their second fight with a herd 

♡dave asked for assistance in hunting down the last of the varmin in the area and there are three options: 1. do it for free. 2. do it for a price--2AP. and 3.ask my friends--150. the response for the second option is so awkward, noctis says: alright we'll do it...um the reward? AND THEN THE THIRD OPTION HAS IGNIS saying: It’s dangerous if we leave as it is. Tell us more about it......its so funny that ignis is very "he asked for no pickles on his burger" coded, speaking up for noctis

♡boys are very gun-ho/very impulsive...gladio had to hold the boys back before they attacked the infected dualhorn...very dad coded i love that for him

♡boys trying to figure out whos going to drive the car after its repairs... noctis is funny as hell. prompto said that he wasnt confident in his driving and noctis said:"im confident i will break the car again"...hes truly a passenger princess and i love it. a very self aware passanger princess

♡noctis is such a bro...he hears prompto wants to visit cindy in the future and he offers for him to borrow the regalia

♡ignis isnt saying his signature puns bruh...umbra came with the notebook and all ignis has to say is that hes a reliable messenger WHILE ENGLISH IGNIS SAYS THAT UMBRA "certainly nose how to find us" 

♡ahhh noctis is blushing when gladio puts him on the spot about wanting the marriage and prompto fucking calls it out too omg

♡gladio saying he wants to go for a dip in galdin quay makes me think of him dressing up as a mermaid for a party with the tail and pearls and everything...omg he does a little mermaid performance for iris's birthday b/c like any little girl she had a mermaid phase and he didnt want to disappoint his baby sister 😭 omg gladio i love you

♡with all the uncle ardyn fics ive read i find it really funny that during their first encounter arydn flicks the coin at the boys and says: "consider it your allowance"...arydn would be that uncle that pulls out a whole roll of 20s and 50s and 100s but then hand you a fucking dollar and say dont spend it all in one place...hes such an asshole😭

♡noctis is so cute bruh, he defo pegs me as a boy lacking in life experiences because he was all starry eyed when the zuzu flew away and said: "whoa, so magnificent", hes such a dork i fucking love him omg

♡the boys just called prompto a personality hire without substance when they were comparing him to dino

♡you know whats fucked up, everyone in the group had lost someone following the attack but we dont get a second to think about. yea noctis lost his father but the boys have all lost people, have all lost their homes...fuck gladios father died in action. ignis' uncle possibily died in action too. prompto's family situation is difficult but we can assume that his parents were lost in the casualty 

♡never noticed that this is probably the first time the boys see magitek troopers. it sounds like they know of them though (prob royal personel collected information about nifilheim tech---giving very cold war vibes ngl) gladio says: "so these are MTs

♡ end of the chapter gives us radio announcements and theres a segment talking about noctis: " He’s a calm person with a very gentle heart who loves animals and nature" --- now who the hell is telling them this. it gotta be regis wanting to gush about his boy     "And he’s also very serious, well-behaved, and always a top-scorer student." ---i had no idea he did well academically bruh. i cant help but imagine the effort it would have taken for him to be such an honor student, not only from noctis but from the boys too. how many late nights did he and the boys have to make sure he passed tests...ignis and gladio are very older siblings parenting their younger siblings coded and im so fucking sick        "On his day off, he seems to be doing community service to helps citizens." ---- NOW WHY THE FUCK DIDNT I KNOW NOCTIS HAD DONE COMMUNITY SERVICE, HE WAS REALLY THE PEOPLES PRINCE I HADNT KNOWN OMG HE WAS THE MALE PRINCESS DIANA IM FUCKING THROWING UP OMG MY SWEET BOY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

[shreky3poo]

My soulmate

Sol x fem!reader

WARNING:

Timeline: you’ve already met Solivan and Hyugo, so this can take place in day 3 or 4 even if this isn’t canon

Hope you enjoy 😊

(SORRY IF I TOOK TO LONG I HAD TO RESTART ON THE FIC BECAUSE MY PROGRESS DIDNT SAVE😭, also I’ll be doing this in chapters so ermm have a good day!)

(so you guys won’t get confused or maybe you will but that’s besides the point, Crowe and geo both share the color purple but when Crowe is talking he has the italic font, meanwhile geo doesn’t- btw this is the italic font)

Chapter 1

You were a kind person, everybody knew that, even him

Solivan Brugmansia

A kid at the back, quiet but very handsome, nobody even took a chance to get to know him.

That is until you came along.

He loves your company and you love his.You could spend years talking to him and never get bored.

But then why couldn’t you see he was the only one for you?

Why did you always have to include Crowe, is it because you perhaps have a little crush on him?

No, that’s not true, is it?

You don’t want to choose, you don’t want to break neither of their hearts.They are important to you just as much as you are to them.

Will you actually have to pick? Why is life so unfair, why do we have to suffer every second and minute?

Life truly isn’t what you imagined when you were younger.

Thinking back to your childhood , carefree, unbothered, happy. Why did that have to go down the drain? Knowing you could’ve gone down a better path if it weren’t for them.

Those rich scums who think they rule the world because of money, oh how I wish they could leave and disappear from this world forever.

But we don’t always get what we want, those are just the rules. There’s nothing we could do even if we tried.Is there even a point in living-

Good morning MC, I hope you had a lovely weekend!

Oh, good morning Crowe and yes my weekend was a bit relaxing this week surprisingly-

That’s lovely to hear, im glad to hear you are doing better with your health, well I really need to get going.Ill see you around MC

Oh Crowe before you leave I have a quick question..

Of course, ask anything you want MC

Are you free this weekend? I really need help with school work and I don’t feel like I can do it without you.(Crowe is my bae😞🤟)

I am indeed ill help you with anything you need

THANK YOU SO MUCH CROWE I SERIOUSLY OWE YOU A LOT 😭😭

I’ll always be here for you MC-

Can you two lovebirds stop flirting.. it’s hurting me internally 😐

Brit don’t be rude-

GUYS WE SHOULD TOTALLY HANGOUT IT WILL BE SUPER FU- 🤩 ( this is Deryl btw sol will prob be red, get it cuz he’s a red flag?😁😁)

No, also stop talking you’re giving me a headache-

Oh umm hey guys-

You both are a bunch of losers, let’s go Jess I don’t want to be seen with these rabid animals 🙄

Oh um-nice seeing you MC!

(maybe I should’ve eaten with Hyugo and Sol..)

Crowe I have to get going, but it was really nice talking to you!

Oh, leaving so soon?

Ermm yes unfortunately, I forgot I had something to do

Well then see you around

(oh naur now I feel bad for lying..😣)

(I AINT DONE YET BRO, but I’ll keep updating and adding to this.SORRY IF IT ISNT MUCH WRITERS BLOCK SUCK BOOTY)

( I KNOW IT SUCKS BOOTY, just don’t say it directly cuz I’ll kms💔)

[heroictoonz]

for the character thing how about kai

Sexuality Headcanon: my brother in disaster bisexual

Gender Headcanon: hmm so i see him as amab but not really cis i think bro just looks at gender and goes "what" and then walks away hes very "i dont even know her" at gender

A ship I have with said character: obvi polyninja is real and canon but i think the ones that make me super silly billy crazy are destinyshipping and lavashipping

i like destinyshipping for its two sides of the same coin vibe it has going on and also im a cole lover before im a human being so yk

A BROTP I have with said character: R 👏 G 👏 B 👏 SIBS 👏 TALK TO ME ABOUT RGB SIBS GOD PLEASE

A NOTP I have with said character: uhhh idk prob greenflame im in the "the ninja are adults" camp so im not real big on it personally o7 i also really dont ship him with skylor but thats more of a thing where unless i REALLY FUCKING LIKE THE PARING i normally default to not wanting male leads to get with their love interests i just hate half assed str8 romance plots and HUGE no offence to anyone who likes them but i just feel like they put her in to give kai a crush and then didnt like? do anything with it. like yes i know a lot of that was her playing him for chen but idk idk this isnt the place to word my full feelings on them i just idk i dont ship em really

A random headcanon: kai is secretly a great cook. he doesnt tell anyone cause he really isnt that into cooking like as a hobby but he had to learn so he could feed himself and nya when they were kids

General Opinion over said character: he just like me for real (KINNIE FUCKER @ myself)

[iwasbored777]

so ur trolls posts got me to watch trolls world tour again. i remembered liking it but i couldnt remember why, but now i know for sure

I FCUKING LOVE TROLLS WORLD TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE INCREDIBLE WRITERS WERE SECRETLY ON TROLLS 2 !!!!!!’n

I CANT TBINK OF A SINGLE FLAW IN TROLLS WOULD TOUR!!!!!!!

i was NOT expecting a brilliantly written masterpiece about colonialism, but thats what i got, and its going in the greatest of all time hall of fame in my brain forever.

im not gonna sit here and regale you on the message of the movie. they only said fax, no printer, and its an important message to send kids. alot of the messages kids get about races and borders is “we are all the same 😚” but they came in with the “we are NOT the same and that is both good and bad, both exciting and dangerous so you need to be aware of dangerous ideas of “harmony”” and thats so real. kids need to understand differences are OK.

i love how they backed off the “chosen one” vibe poppy had in the first movie and talked about her flaws as a leader. while her stubborness was a good thing in the first movie to contrast branches pessimistic nature, it wouldnt have worked here, and i can see a cheap writer (like m*chael w*ldron) either insisting she gets away with her selfishness and carrying on with the happy ending anyway, or pretending that wasnt a character trait at all (because w*ldron doesnt watch the first movie and writes a sequel anyway)

my favorite scene is the bubble scene and the woods right after they leave funk where branch confronts poppy. do i even need to tell you why?

i just want to mention it because im pretty sure branch sings a cover of “girl crush” by little big town, which is a country band, and branch said he likes country music earlier and that slays. but when poppy comes in, what they sing is definitley not girl crush, and i cant tell if its giving “trolls can mix music” or im completley wrong and its a different song alltogether. but i cant tell if that song is homophobic or is super gay, so if im wrong thats prob for the best.

the only flaw i can think of is the country music, as a midwestern i can confidently say that was an affront to real blue grass country music. i guess born to die “works” but it didnt represent country as well as the other genres did. theres alot of controversy in the country music fandom with alot of singers who sound exactly the same and produced like its a factory line. but even if people still think miranda lambert and carrie underwood arent true country singers, their songs wouldve worked better than born to die. also the country trolls shouldve been on a self sufficient farm instead of the wild west. that wild western jazzy piano and country music isnt the same.

the only bad part about the movie is that it ended and barb ATE. SHE LEFT NO CRUMBS WITH THAT INTRO. send ask.

Lol I love your review. I love Trolls World Tour a lot too and all their other movies. Great stuff.

And yeah I love Poppy and how she can accomplish A LOT but she doesn't make it on her own, she needs character development and help from others just like everyone else. Characters are surprisingly realistic.

Barb really was goat, the best antagonist in the franchise. I love parallels between her and Poppy, how both had different intentions (Poppy wanted to help and Barb wanted to conquer) but Poppy's method was also wrong and both Poppy and Barb and everyone had to make compromises for all tribes to live in harmony because no one has to change their lifestyle for that to happen, all they have to do is accept that they're different and that's perfect. Just be yourself and let others be themselves.

That song in the end (Just Sing) slaps hard (and so does Can't Stop The Feeling btw).

P.S. Tiny Diamond fucking slays 🔥🔥🔥

[neopuppy]

I always liked Johnny, mainly his personality but was never attracted to him like that. That was around 2018? I wasn’t really into NCT then but watched some of their content for entertainment. Then I didnt really look into them until like 2021 and 👀! I was like “is that Johnny?! Ok Johnny is really hot.” It was shocking. He completely wrecked me and I loved the fact that he was still goofy and not afraid to make himself look stupid for the laughs. He’s definitely not the prince of the group lol but I’m so fond of him………and also have the fattest crush on him 🤷‍♀️

“He’s definitely not the prince of the group”

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but ok, listen, listen… Johnny definitely has a type of fan, at least on the western side….. and when I see those fans I do this: 🫤🥴

NDJEJJXJDJXJDJJDJXJDJD im sorry if thats u, but its always the same who bias Jaehyun/Mark too typically bc they hear a little English and think “I HAVE A CHANCE!!!”(you absolutely do not)

and SM knows this, nct know this, thats why they pair them together so much. they know the girlies(and boys) shit themselves over the English speakers. I think thats also why I didn’t want to like him, bc how typical… and on top of that he’s a mid-westerner😅😅😅 I can’t bring myself to ever be super delusional abt him bc……I’ll lick up barf before ever moving to mid/east coast😅

me when Johnny said he’d prob move back to Chicago someday- *cuts the wedding bells* “oh. well it was nice while it lasted.” 💀

I think he’s super attractive, like that face😮‍💨

and I do think he’s one of the members who in person that really makes u go ‘woah’. I know not everyone will agree bc they’re too blinded by those alleged princes🤔 but Johnny’s like…….he’s brick house…

I can understand he’s not everyones cup of tea bc he’s usually half naked and idk, big, but kudos to him fr bc if I looked like that without clothes you’d have to throw me in jail to get me to put some on🤷��‍♀️ I believe we will someday look back at Johnny down the line like woahhhhhh that guy…….he rly existed huh. he’s our neo Minho in ways lol.

(also I consider myself one of the Johnny fans who falls into the daddy issues category, I don’t think we started showing up until after 2020😁)

[etoiile]

having a face that turns red easily is not cute. it is not y/n. IT IS SO FREAKIN EMBARRASSING.

like tell me why when im saying smth in a group setting and the room goes quiet and im the only one talking my face just BLOWS UP. i can feel how red my face is and i feel like im being silently judged even though im probs not

OR. when my friend brings up a crush or even a past crush who i dont like anymore? i dont even notice until they start LAUGHING AT ME and are like, "your face is so red!" or "aweee you're blushing sm!!" LIKE STFU NO IM NOT GO AWAY.

someone i know told me tdy that she was sad that she didnt blush easily bc its so cute and feminine and i was like NO. DONT BE. it is the most HUMILIATING THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED.

OR. when someone says smth SLIGHTLY embarrassing or flustering i get super red and they start laughing at me. like STOP IM NOT TRYING TO BE LIKE THIS.

OR. when im around a cute guy and i nervously try to talk to him. and i can feel my face heating up and im like NOOOO. DONT GIVE ME AWAY. DONT DO ME DIRTY. HE CANT KNOW ABT THE EFFECT HE HAS ON ME NOOOO!!!w

uh in conclusion its embarrassing and im embarrassed abt my embarrassing life rn.

[kewltie]

i want izuku to go to his ms reunion and his former classmates acted like he's one of them as if they didnt ostracized him back then bc he's v successful hero rn. izuku is kind so he doesnt hold their past against them but class 1-A does and drops by the reunion to check on izuku.

they know of his dark ms history so they dont go all at once, but come visit for a group of 2-4 just to see if izuku is ok and if they should take him away from his shitty & fake former classmates but izuku is doing just fine; he's confident and happy, his past doesnt define him. he doesnt hold his former classmates' actions as oh, they were horrible kids so obv they're going to grow up to be horrible and can NEVER CHANGE bc ppl do change. some wont but most do bc kids can be terrible but as they get older their world evolve & they LEARN from the mistakes.

he knows someone close to his heart is perfect example of that so izuku finds forgiveness come easy for him and tho maybe his classmates arent ALL sincere in their apologies, trying to write off the past as if they didn't bullied him but izuku is ok now; he's ready to move on. so izuku doesnt have any trauma (anymore) or hold any long term resentment toward his ms classmates and does enjoy the reunion even if it can be awkward at times bc their good memories werent good memories to izuku who was often excluded from social activities bc of his quirklessness...

during the reunion bc his friends keep dropping by, who are all prominent heroes, the ms classmates ask are any of them you're dating?? izuku just laughs and says i have a partner w/o saying their name and SO IT LEAVES EVERYONE GUESSING WHICH ONE OF PPL DROPPED BY IS THE BF/GF.

among his ms classmate is a boy who was prob the closest izuku has to a 'friend' during that period before he distanced himself from izuku. he has quirk that is simple & boring, blowing bubbles from his mouth, which is unimpressive but izuku was the only one who tho it was cool. izuku always ask questions about his quirk and makes it out to something as remarkable!!! while the classmates sneered and looked down upon him bc quirks that are lame and useless has no place in their society but at least it's better than the quirkless loser over there... so they become sort of 'friends' bc nobody seems to care or like them but then when izuku's bullying got worst the choice b/t quirkless vs lame quirk, the kids think izuku is worst off and picks on him harsher esp when izuku doesnt stay down and curve his enthusiasms about quirks.

the boy learned to stay quiet and in the background so he doesnt get pick on as much but izuku cant STAY quiet bc he loves learning and talking about quirks and doesnt hide his dream to become a hero so obviously it made other want to CRUSH him, so when his bullying got worst. esp when the boy got picked on for 'useless' quirk, izuku would speak up for him and made loud proclaimations how the quirk is v cool and amazing so they should talk bad about X-kun but that made the boy afraid of being attached to izuku, bc he doesnt want it to affect him too.

the bullies turn their attention to izuku who was the most outspoken and the boy realized he has to stay away from izuku to not get picked on too, even to izuku helped him!! so he distanced himself and years later, he always regretted that decision bc izuku was his first love. but he was too much of a coward to ever do anything about it and too afraid of liking that quirkless boy who was the lowest of their social ladder. he wanted to save himself more then his love and friendship for izuku... so that action haunted him for years even as an adult.

so this reunion was his way of trying to apologize to izuku and maybe reconnect with him bc he never forgotten izuku the boy who shines so bright even in the darkest time, who was able to fulfilled his dream and most of all izuku was kind when the world wasnt kind back to him. he can see the way that izuku slowly and sincerely win their classmates over by remembering all their names and when the most popular girl embarrassingly reveals she's a homemaker w 3 kids and izuku is like that's so amazing!! that must be so difficult but you're doing a good job. AND HE MEANS IT WITH HIS WHOLE HEART!!! he genuinely interest in their life and want to know what they're up to and even remember the moments of their past like when someone pick up his eraser that he dropped and handed it back to him, he recalls those small gestures so easily.

to izuku who has an incrediablly shitty time during his ms, yet able to draw on lighter moments and bring it up and associated with ppl who have hurt him in the past... that takes a lot of strength and speaks of how big izuku's heart was that he doesnt hold it against them. so even tho izuku is the top hero and is clearly the most accomplished person out of all their classmates there, he doesnt lord it over them and is much more interest in their more mundane life rather than his exciting world of heroes and that's very humbling thing. so for the ppl who came in worry izuku was going to get revenge, they find themselves coming out of this being a die hard deku stan for life now lol... bc now they realized what make deku so popular with so many ppl is now bc of how powerful he is bc of his very big heart.

at the end of the night the classmates are all having a good time and they so smitten with izuku and just genuine happy that he is here and regret how they could have ruined him but he rise above all that. it's then that when they're about to go home that bakugou katsuki arrives. katsuki was invited but he never RSVP. they know how he is flourishing just as much as izuku is as a hero but he always seem like untouchable, out of their reach; very smart, athletic, popular and has a powerful quirk he was everything izuku wasnt & they were childhood friends!!

katsuki suddenly appears before them and they're like oh, sorry the party is over but katsuki just glowers as izuku beams at the sight of him and runs up to him, holding his hand as he says, 'kacchan, you're here to pick me up?' leaving everyone jaw slacked!!!!!

'are you guys dating?' some brave soul asks.

izuku blushes while katsuki sneers. 'yea, what about it?' and it's like some kind of dark comedy to classmates bc the two ppl who are least likely to get together are happily TOGETHER and katsuki had seemingly hated izuu in the past.

it was jarring like HOW THEY DID THEY EVEN GET THERE!!! but bkdk obviously wont tell bc thats their story and the classmates realize that bc they have no right to demand an answer from these two even to katsuki's turbulent history with izuku was a defining moment of their ms.

while izuku say goodbye to their classmates, katsuki stands off in the back. the boy who was izuku 'friend' approaches katsuki and says, “you dont deserve him” and katsuki stares evenly back.

“neither do you, but at least im making an effort now and not pining like a fool. i have an entire life ahead of me to make it up to him but you?” katsuki glares. “you ruined your chance back then when you walked away from him.”

and that's the thing bc he did, he chose himself over izuku back then and tho izuku clearly has forgiven him but he hasnt. katsuki shouldnt either tho!! he feels is unfair that katsuki also played a part in making izuku's life miserable back then but he is able to stand by izuku's side tonight & hold his hands. IT'S NOT FAIR, but katsuki doesnt care about fairness he has izuku and hes not letting go.

katsuki didnt go to the reunion bc he doesnt want to be reminded of his past so even tho izuku has long moved on and forgave, katsuki hasn't learn to forgive himself yet so he isnt ready to face his past yet but he also doesnt want any idiot to get any idea about izuku either lol. it took him a lot of effort and time to get to this point and won izuku's heart so he's not going to let some past love trying to think he has a chance with izuku now bc izuku is his and tho he hasnt proven himself worthy of izuku but nobody is more worthy than him a;sjd;fjs lmao

[khodorkovskaya]

Thank you v much for your response I really appreciate it

My ex used to do similar things tbh, except he would do it by messaging all the time, but if I didnt reply he would then start to accuse me of stuff (turns out he was doing everything he accused me of, if someone accuses you of stuff you're not doing, they're probs doing it) and would have me 2aiting all day for him to be ready so I could do anything at all because I would constantly be waiting dor him and then the day would be gone too.

But he would use super manipulative language too all the time, like I only do certain things because I love you, and if I didnt do stuff he wanted he would be super annoyed and upset or he would ignore me until he got what he wanted and then be happy. I found myself trying to please him all the time :(

This guy tho, a lil bot of context, some is probs my fault tbh, like when I like someone whether its romantically or platonic ally I get really nervous and at first when I talk to them I often reply slow because I'm nervous of making a mistake etc and putting them off so I'll wait hours because I'm thinking of the perfect reply etc... I do this with people I wanna be friends with too..... it's awful really I need to get out of the habit of it tbh... but anyway I did that with him but I've tried to speed it up a bit becasue j know it can be self destructive and I dont mean any harm by it but its prkbas partially my fault tbh

hey, it's natural to be nervous when talking to someone you like, everyone's like that, it's okay! but just don't obsess, you know? if he doesn't reply to your messages, well so be it. bc if you expect too much, you'll be even more disappointed.

and the most important thing here is, it's better to be alone that to be chasing after someone who doesn't care. i have to remind myself of that all the time... like yeah, sometimes it gets super lonely and you really really really wish you had that special connection with someone. but the feeling of loneliness is nothing compared to the feeling of frustration and feeling like you're not good enough for someone and the constant waiting for the other person to show any sort of affection. like i remember the things id put myself thru for my ex and it makes me shudder. id much rather be 10x more lonely than go thru that again.

and don't get me wrong, i don't want to victim blame, but it's very important to take responsibility for yourself too. if you know that you're susceptible to letting men walk all over you, watch out for the kind of behaviour that attracts manipulators who want to take advantage of that and change it. stand up to them and form relationships on your own terms and if it makes some men flee, it means that you're weeding out the bad ones. i know for sure that in my next relationship im not gonna be cancelling plans just for the possibility of him texting me, im not gonna be all pathetic if he wants to ignore me over a misunderstanding, im not gonna let him get away with things that cross my boundaries from day one, etc. it's gonna be hard bc you need to be very confident, know yourself well to know and assert your boundaries, but it's gonna be so worth it!

so about the guy you've been texting, please don't take things so close to heart! if he replies, great, if he doesn't, well so be it, no big deal. and i know it's hard bc im the first one start making wedding moodboards on pinterest the second i have a crush on someone lol, but girlie please don't worry about it so much! <3

[castlebyersafterdark]

Especially as a gay guy who with no hesitation crushed on so many straight male celebs without an ounce of whatever the hell this girl's mindset was. They're never going to meet you, let alone propose marriage!!

wow that story about your friend was so interesting! i imagine such a formative part of growing up queer is these 'hopeless' crushes, so why does her (straight) scenario hinge on whether they could actually be together? its as though her fantasy hinged on a glimmer of possibility. on hope. hmmm.

i think when we play pretend, even as kids, there's this impossibly simultaneous belief of two opposite things: that its both real and not real. the key is that they are balanced and both true somehow - so i could daydream about billie joe armstrong from this one magazine poster pasted on my bedroom wall for years but i def knew i wouldnt and probs didnt even want to meet him! i mean, i was like 13 and he was an adult, which kids now are freaking out about, but i didnt think twice about crushing on him because i wasnt hoping to meet or actually marry him lol.

but i guess today with social media where we can glimpse these people's lives, our fantasies become more 'possible' and the real-not real balance gets thrown out of whack. honestly i think it either spoils the fantasy (oh no theyre human after all) or it makes people believe they could actually be friends with celebs (because theyre human! yay!)... and like, yeah, technically, but when i see people saying 'i just need to meet them and we'd be besties' it always makes me cringe, because parasocial relationships make people forget that relationships really really are two-sided. and your fav celeb might just not... like you that much. or they might just be a bit boring irl for more than the length of a tiktok video lol.

idk, i've worked in jobs where i've met a fair share of celebs i admire from many different fields, and its amazing, the difference between idea of them and the presence they have in person. after that i decided i didnt like to meet my heroes because the imbalance felt so weird to me.

so maybe your friend knowing this guy was gay, it ruined her balance of real-not real make believe. whereas i assume you, knowing you were having gay crushes on straight dudes from a young age (</3), probably had this self awareness and so your fantasies hinged on something other than possibility. did you also like any celebs who were rumoured about, like prince or bowie? as i recall there was some ambiguous sexuality in the 00s alt scene, but who knows how much was for show? (mcr springs to mind)

Yeah, I definitely think it's very common across the board for a lot of people that once something interferes with their fantasy, it just breaks them a little. Which I always just find so odd because celebrity crushes are so far from reality so why does it matter so much?? Absolutely different if it's someone you know irl, you're into them, and then you either find out they have a SO, they're not sexually compatible, or they just... don't want you haha. Add a very thick layer of 'they'll never want you' to celebrities because while yes, famous people do get with non famous people, you crushing on someone famous as you go about your day to day normal life is a lot different than a random encounter that is so rare it's not even worth mentioning as logic to this situation. People get upset when they find out the celeb they like is dating someone. Or they come out. Or whatever. The make-believe really warps some people. (This could be a whole discussion on the rabid Mlvn fan issue, as a meltdown on the verge due to their ship sinking and their ideal fantasy world centered on Mike/El crumbling down, breaking their brains)

For example, I've made it pretty clear I have a big gay embarrassing crush on Finn. What does it matter though haha I will never meet that man. Don't want to, and I'm also very happy and smitten and secure in my personal life. It's just normal human attraction. Talent and being hot is appealing. I'm just a random fan. Same as everyone else! I could talk for hours about the parasocial epidemic but you said enough so I'll let that one sit. Also, I don't think I'd like him less if it turns out he's straight. Still follow his career. Still think he's fine as hell. I'll just probably like him more if he's on this side. That's my honest take.

And totally sad for kids that their peers and people older than them are promoting this thought-crime culture that it's weird or wrong to fantasize about other people, especially those older. That's just life!! It doesn't mean anything. It's admiration, it's aspirational, it's learning about yourself.

And to your last point, I can't remember all my crushes when I was young, mostly actors in shows or movies rather than musicians. Bowie and Prince would have been too old for me to even give a second thought about haha but I'm sure they were so validating for people a little further back, unless this just meant like them. I mean there were celebs that were out or who were rumored of course, but the biggest one I can think of was Lee Pace, esp during the height of the Hobbit filming. I was really into those movies in high school. He had rumors, which turned out to be true! So, there's an example that worked out actually.

This is kinda embarrassing now but my dream man growing up was Shaun White. Memory lane stuff right there, goddddd 🫣🤣