#also no offense to anyone if ur the same way and u like it

[etoiile]

having a face that turns red easily is not cute. it is not y/n. IT IS SO FREAKIN EMBARRASSING.

like tell me why when im saying smth in a group setting and the room goes quiet and im the only one talking my face just BLOWS UP. i can feel how red my face is and i feel like im being silently judged even though im probs not

OR. when my friend brings up a crush or even a past crush who i dont like anymore? i dont even notice until they start LAUGHING AT ME and are like, "your face is so red!" or "aweee you're blushing sm!!" LIKE STFU NO IM NOT GO AWAY.

someone i know told me tdy that she was sad that she didnt blush easily bc its so cute and feminine and i was like NO. DONT BE. it is the most HUMILIATING THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED.

OR. when someone says smth SLIGHTLY embarrassing or flustering i get super red and they start laughing at me. like STOP IM NOT TRYING TO BE LIKE THIS.

OR. when im around a cute guy and i nervously try to talk to him. and i can feel my face heating up and im like NOOOO. DONT GIVE ME AWAY. DONT DO ME DIRTY. HE CANT KNOW ABT THE EFFECT HE HAS ON ME NOOOO!!!w

uh in conclusion its embarrassing and im embarrassed abt my embarrassing life rn.

[moonchild033]

5H-Pregnancy and Children (Part 2) 🤩🩷

NOTE: I'm covering the left out planets in this subtopic on the previous post. I accidentally focused a lot on how ur child can be rather than ur relationship with ur child (I focused on this perspective on part 1 planets). However I believe that you yourself can obtain an idea of how the relationship might be based on reading this. Kindly NOTE that this is not ur child's birth chart to interpret their personality truly, these are just some general takes❤️✨ Also this can apply mostly to the first child 🙂‍↕️🫡

(These observations are based on the whole sign system, sidereal charts and all obs are subject to change with other aspects in the chart, so don't conclude anything with a single placement, take whatever that resonates and leave the rest,hope you enjoy giving it a read, take it lightly!) ❤

Click here for part 1 !🫴🥰

5H JUPITER - You can have a lesser number of children, possibly female ones, they can seem to be wiser than their age, they could be the type to give you advice when you are down or simply try to make you laugh.🥹🧿 The child would be optimistic and can take expectation failures in a good way, rather than showing negative emotions. It is essential as a parent to let them know that it's okay for them to even voice out their negative feelings and they shouldn't have to overindulge on staying positive to the point that they forget to process negative emotions, teach them that life has grey parts and it's okay🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. They can be helpful to other kids at school and can be a teacher's pet. They can surprise you by asking philosophical questions that don't match with their age and can be interested in religious texts, liking mythology stories as a kid. They can be magnanimous and give out their belongings to friends, so maybe you can see them losing a new pen or a pouch now and then lol 😂🤪. On the same note, teach them not to be a door mat and take care of their things, not letting anyone take advantage. As a child, they can even be more vulnerable in trusting, they believe that everyone is good (every child does, but take care of this specifically in this placement), let them know whom to trust and how to be safe by ur own parenting method🫠🫡. During pregnancy, you can experience more bulging in feet and the baby bump can be bigger, smooth delivery will be ensured if there are no malefic aspects falling on 5H.🩵🩵

5H SATURN - The kid can be fond of grandparents, can be closer to grandparents than the parents, you can see them being distant with their aged kids but can get along with older children and elders absolutely love them. This is the child who brings water to a guest without you asking them to, elders adore them because of their sincere and quiet nature even as a child😌☺️. Help the kid to become more expressive but don't force them to be someone which they're not, accept their personal space and reserved nature. They can be pessimistic and can hold many unspoken fears, encourage and give your support constantly rather than blaming their thinking and forcing them to be optimistic, which will lead them to further mask their thoughts. Through your unwavering support, the child will thrive and can grow to be optimistic by themselves🥺🤌. They can be scared of things that you might not consider as something to be scared of, but they have these deep unknown fears that u have to help them overcome without disregarding it. Their way of speaking might feel offensive to you, you might think of it as disrespect but it's usually their blunt honest nature, don't try to control traits like these just because you couldn't see the other side of it, it can lead to the child being afraid of being themselves or being unsure how to react 🫠❤️During pregnancy, you can feel higher sensitivity to cold, keep yourself warm and do exercises (under medical advice) to ensure normal delivery as this can give higher possibility of c-section. Take care of reproductive health to avoid problems in conceiving. Higher possibility for late pregnancy and first child being a male.💚💚

5H RAHU- The kid can be very mischievous and unpredictable. They can be having swift responses to everything and difficult to understand because of their tendency to merge with the surroundings and change their behaviour accordingly 🤭🫣.They can embody air sign energy a lot (ofc rahu nakshatras are all in air signs tho), which means they want to be constantly mentally stimulated to keep them from doing any unwanted mischievous things that could potentially cross the line. Make sure to provide the mental stimulation through interactive game sessions and answer all their nonsense questions in a convincing and child friendly way bcoz they'll eventually find another source to find out the answer which you may not like 🫢.They can be distracted and messy at many times, u may have to pay extra attention to take care of them. They may enjoy the company of animals, if they do, add a cat into your family which they may particularly like more than other animals 🐈🥰. The kid might get early exposure to the internet or very interested in technologically advanced products, make sure to provide them with parental control and screentime (whatever ur parenting method is). Don't try to control this kid, they're not like mars who is hell bent on doing something they LIKE, rahu does something you don't like just bcoz you told not to do so, they don't even have to LIKE it themselves to do it, ur dislike is enough for them to do something if u appear to be micro managing or controlling too much 😈🤪.These kids have to be handled in an intelligent manner, knowing when to let go and when to tighten the hold, bcoz they're too rebellious for their own good. You can have excessive cravings during pregnancy, take care to not overindulge in anything. Delivery maybe assisted even if it's normal (Depends on aspects 5H receives). Also, taking care of proper menstrual cycles is essential in 5H nodes for healthy conception. Higher possibility of first child being a male.🧡🧡

5H KETU- The kid might exhibit similar characteristics like 5H saturn interpretation but few differences can be seen. While 5H saturn's kids can mingle with older children and find comfort in the care of elders, 5H ketu's kids can thrive in isolation, they're not alone bcoz they're sad, they might enjoy their own company and live in their own mind, quietly being observant and keeping their thoughts within themselves 🩶🩶. Don't rush things with them, forcing them to speak a lot or asking them what they want to do or what they're thinking of, it's possible that many times they might have a blank mind which is unusual for kids but they could have that from a younger age, so when they say they're not thinking of anything, u better believe that. It can feel like an one sided relationship or conversation to you, but don't stop those efforts, they'll eventually let you inside their world 🤗🥰. It's a weird push and pull with this kid, they might crave for your attention from the inside but also feel the need to be left alone, keep the conversation open and avoid getting frustrated bcoz of this confusing behaviour, u just keep on giving them what they want at the moment bcoz these kids can easily feel insecure or abandoned by you even if it's not ur intention 🥹🫂.They could be interested in knowing about the religious practices, you can teach them prayers if they show interest earlier on. Node placements in 5H, their children can show their liking towards animals, for ketu it can be dogs 🐕😍. During pregnancy, you can experience lots of mood swings and appetite issues, make sure to keep both your physical and mental health stable. Higher possibility of first baby being a girl.🩷🩷

Let's Learn and Grow Together ❤️‍🔥

With Love - Yashi ♥️⚡

Masterlist 💖

[3456boidone]

Did mikalia even asked for your "constructive criticism"? If not, then it's just "fixed ur ugly art because I am better than u" no matter how polite you try to sound and how many smiley faces you add, sorry no offense really but the methods you apply are visibly a super amateur and its kinda silly that despite that u just run around and correct people when not much better than them. You use super generic shape language, the personality of the designs are not Unique or recognizable at all. they are also kinda soulless and a big part of character design is for it to be relatable in some way. The artstyle has nothing symbolic to it that points to u as the artist its just two super regular looking "bold and bubbly" characters Idk where you learned drawing, but this kind of character design level is usually achieved when someone watches a youtube video and makes their first attempts at getting better while still lacking the experience and knowledge to create something actually good, something that is actually theirs and not guided by the ground basics of character design Its not a bad thing to be at a certain art level but redesigning someones art is just showing that you think of yourself as superior, and it shows even more and just looks silly when you dont know much about the topic yourself

No. Mikaila didn't ask me, but I just wanted to give my point of view as an artist. I think is the first time I've ever really gave anyone constructive criticism, so I did the best I could without coming off like an ass.

As for the saturation test, it's something I use in my designs all of the time. Example, let's say I wanna give person dark shoes and dark pants, I use the saturation test in order to see if they come off looking like the exact same hue and color.

I am in no way superior to Mikaila. Every artist has their own unique style, and I like Mikaila chibi (sorry, that's what it reminds me of) style. My art style is every different from her's, maybe I should have attempted to draw in her style to get my idea across. She doesn't have to draw the two like how I did, because I drew them in my art style.

Fun fact: I'm a self-taught artist, and I've been drawing for as long as I can remember, lol, and criticism from my fellow artist is how I got better at it. (Especially in anatomy (that shits hard))

[aalyre]

Hello! So about the Kevin is a coward thing

I love Kevin with all my heart, he’s in my top 3 fave AFTG characters, and I definitely don’t think he’s a coward for leaving his abusers—

However. I don’t think it’s correct that you compare him to Jean to prove that point. They are two different cases entirely, no offense. One was an immigrant boy who barely spoke any English that was getting raped and mocked by his much older teammates while being Riko’s dog. He never left the nest and had no friends outside.

Kevin while he suffered greatly was regarded as a messed up brother by Riko and wasn’t getting raped— he even found some solace with Thea and got to travel around the world and was so loved by the public. And had a great friend outside the nest in Jeremy.

If Kevin knew about the SA ( he could have suspected tbh) + knew how Riko/Tetsuji would constantly beat Jean half to dead— but still asked of Jean’s help and “tricked” him… it’s bad. Nora made it worse by saying Neil would have left Jean.

hi!! thank u sm for ur analysis!!

i agree, the comparison was a reach and i feel like every experiences in the nest are different. especially for kevin and jean (even kevin says it’s different)

i think what i tried to say wasn’t that their experience were the same, but that they both made choices that could be reprehensible, they both stood in the sideline watching others get tortured, they both said hurtful things,

and i believe that they both suffered there and that it took an enormous anout of courage to leave and “cut ties” with the nest/the ravens, although in deferent ways, situations.

i totally agree that the way kevin acted toward jean wasn’t kind (not the right word but i can’t find one so if anyone has a better word pls tell) and i agree that he has acted cowardly before!!

but i don’t believe the way they respectively acted made them cowards (know btw that I LOVE JEAN SO MUCH he’s also in my top three)

i believe they had different experiences in the nest, we could argue that jean’s was worse, but no matter the level(?) of trauma they went through, it was horribly hard for both of them and they both had the guts in the end to do what they wanted/needed/was right.

hope i explained myself clearly and also thank u sm, i really loved reading your take on this, if you have anymore pleaseee don’t hesitate to send it my way!!

take care :33

[incorrectquotesmcu]

SNAPS AT UR RESPONSE abt owning what that user said. Also I realized I blocked that same user months ago bc of another horrid argument abt queerness. Bc crazy idea, u can be queer and also offensive! And wrong! Lol. So validating to see others r calling out their bs

These people really think they can gaslight anyone by saying the most absurd things and later complain we’re twisting their words when it was literally exactly what they said. And then acting all innocent pretending they were just trying to bring up a curiosity when from the way they worded it was clearly not that…

I don’t trust anyone who use the “I am queer myself” card to try to hide being prejudiced against their own community. And then they made a whole essay about how they advocate for the community lol they might advocate for their own identity’s issues but they certainly are promoting prejudice for other identities.

Tbh it doesn’t surprise me this is not the first time that person did something like this. It’s not worth it to keep giving them the attention they so desperately want and need, it’s way easier to simply block them.

[bylertruther]

some byIers be like "well, yeah everyone in hawkins from kids to teens to adults knew that will was gay and called him all sorts of slurs and made fun of his clothes and laughed at him but that's just because they had secret knowledge bestowed upon them by a higher power or something about him being gay. clearly it wasn't because will is visibly gay and does not act like other boys (aka is gnc) or fit in with them aside from his party who are also outcasts for different reasons. everyone knew that he was gay even though will has never tried or done anything with another boy, and it has NOTHING to do with how we're told in many ways that he does not act like, dress like, or like the same things as everyone else in literally under the first twenty minutes of this show. will is our conforming #hypermasc king who isn't ever scared of anything, has never needed to be saved (and definitely not repeatedly), never cries, never gets called slurs aimed at feminine men, is on par with hopper when it comes to being a manly macho all american man, and would fight anyone and everyone with pure ice in his veins. fuck you if you call him sensitive or acknowledge that he runs away and hides when confronted with danger bc obviously being scared and fighting in any not offensive&aggressive way is Bad and Emasculating and something to be Ashamed of. embracing will's canon traits is Bad and instead acting exactly like lonnie does is Good and makes you an exemplary ally btw. so is taking everything about will and plastering it onto mike instead somehow for mental gymnastics reasons that i will never explain to you bc i know it's dumb."

and somehow..... i'm supposed to respect some of u and ur opinions? 🤨

[jaykayfictions]

My high-school worst enemy|Jimin ff part 8.

Summary: Park Jimin was a jerk and you hated him your entire time in high school, but what happens when he isn't the asshole he appears to be?

genre: angst and fluff, enemies to lovers au.

warnings: lots and lots of swearing, a bit of violence and bullying, and lots of crying. mc is very angry in this chapter, sexual innuendos (was only one scene & Jimin wasn’t the one.)

author's note: it's long, I'm sorry 😔. No hate to the idols I use in this chapter.

disclaimer: any offensive thing said about an idol is just for the fan fic, pls don't take it to heart. Any photos I post aren't mine, credit to owners.

You

Hey Jimin

Jimin😏

Hey

You

Can u ask u abt something?

Jimin😏

Yeah?

You

promise u'll tell me the truth.

Jimin😏

I promise.

You

🧐

Jimin😏

I'm serious.

You

y did u like my Instagram post when we weren't friends?

Jimin😏

Bcs I never saw u smile like that b4.

U looked happy

and also 'cause I don't see my elder siblings often.

You

you have elder siblings?!😲😦

Jimin😏

well yeah.

You

and also 'cause I don't see my elder siblings often.

what abt Rosé?

Jimin😏

apart from her.

You

Oh well umm if u need advice

hit me up ok?

Jimin😏

sure

thanks by the way.

You

wait I have another question.

Jimin😏

go on

You

who taught u hw to cook?

Jimin😏

the Ahjumma u saw the other day.

You

really?🤯

Jimin😏

I'll tell u the details in a few years time.

You

Jimin!😤😠

Jimin😏

kidding

tell u later

You

Ok

bye 👋

Jimin😏

bye

see u at school.

It's been two months since you've been friends with Jimin and the boys and they were the best two months ever. You hanged out a lot. Played mario cart with Jin nagging about how much you and the boys made him suffer just because you all tried to distract him, causing him to lose his game. Your female friends such as Lisa and Rosé tagged along a few times, but the fight that unleashed between the two was not a pretty sight. Rosé got mad at Lisa for hiding her relationship and Lisa was mad at Rosé because she hid her relation to Jimin. Saying they were hypocrites was honestly the truth. From anger to frustration and then they both broke down, crying like bipolar bitches. And then some crazy shit along the line. You really questioned how the hell they were your friends.

The argument didn't last long though. Fortunately they resolved their issues and were stuck to each other like glue. The events that happened were crazy. You had not smiled, laughed or felt that happy since the basketball event. Jungkook's teasing about you and Jimin being a couple was still there, but you didn't care. This was until the boys joined in as well like it was some kind of trend on Twitter, the fuck?

The group chat😎

Kookie🐰

#Y/Nmin

Jin😘

They look so cute together, I'm not gonna lie.

Joonie🤓

they just need to know that they like eachother.

Hobi 😃

seriously, they're giving me young couple vibes.

You

can u guys pls stop?

Jin😘

Just stating the obvious.

Kookie🐰

seriously, they're giving me young couple vibes

or maybe even high school sweethearts.

Tae😁

fr

You

or maybe even high school sweethearts

stfu we are not that for fuck's sake!

Jimin tell them to stop!

Tae😁

see, u're running to ur lover boy❤️

#Y/Nmin 4 life!

Jimin😏

stfu bro😒

Yoongi 😎

imma be honest

u guys r gonna wed in the future

I can see it.

You

even u too?!

Kookie 🐰

#Y/Nmin 4 life

Jin😘

#Y/Nmin 4 life

Jimin😏

r u seriously snubbing us?

Hobi 😃

'us'?

already announcing ur relationship I see.

And messages like these would go on and on on the groupchat and it was slightly annoying, but you would be lying if you said u hated it or that you didn't feel flustered. You've become very close with them so quickly that they almost knew you like Jungkook did. ''Yoongi doesn't befriend just anyone and you managed to do that after having lunch with him, which means he likes you or has a soft spot for you, not in a romantic way though, don't get me wrong.'' Jin had said, reminding you of the time Jungkook said the same about Jimin. Did you perhaps like him? You liked him as a friend not more than that right? Or that was what you thought.

The last party you all went to is what you'll never forget. You were so excited and the boys had convinced you to attend even though you were reluctant to go you agreed, but you had never been to a party before, apart from birthday celebrations and family reunions. But you had never gone to a high school fuck or fratboy party before and that made you nervous. You had texted Jungkook to ask about the outfit you would wear but he wasn't that useful.

Kookie🐰

You

Hi

Kookie 🐰

What do you need?

you never text me.....

unless you need something🤨

You

I need ur help

idk what outfit to wear

Kookie 🐰

I knew it!

send me ur best options and I'll choose.

You

ok

Kookie 🐰

just wear any one u'll look good 2 be honest.

You

that's not helping

imma just ask the boys.

You decided to ask from the group chat since he wasn't helping matters.

The group chat 😎

You

idk what to wear guys.

Jin 😘

you literally slay a plain hoodie and miniskirt on a normal day at school.

I'm sure u'll look good in anything.

Hobi 😃

true.

Tae 😁

fr.

Yoongi 😎

you literally slay a plain hoodie and miniskirt on a normal day at school.

Keeping tabs on what she wears I see 🧐

Jin 😘

It’s called being observant🙄

Yoongi 😎

whatever you say perv

Jin 😘

HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!🔥🤬

Yoongi 😎

I didn’t technically say it but ok

Jin 😘

you’re so annoying

Kookie 🐰

I'm sure u'll look good in anything

same thing I told her.

You

u didn't say that u liar

Joonie 🤓

just wear something casual

the party's nothing fancy.

You

Ok thanks guys ☺️

u definitely helped more than Kookie.

Kookie 🐰

What!

I literally said the same thing!

and don't call me Kookie!

U know I hate it!

You

Bye👋

Gotta go get ready.

Kookie 🐰

Oh wow

u're just gonna avoid me now huh?

You ended up wearing the jacket and shorts with some boots since Joonie had said it was a casual hangout.

These are the boots by the way.

When you got to the party, you just had a bad feeling about the night, but Jimin reassured you and you decided to get a drink. Bear in mind that all they had were energy drinks and non-alcoholic fruit wine due to it being illegal for a bunch of seventeen year olds to be drinking. But the food was damn good. You were currently laughing at Joonie's crazy story of how Jimin's one night stand thought he was dating her and went berserk when she caught him in the girls' bathroom, getting his dick sucked by another girl. Apparently she beat the shit out of her and told Jimin she was breaking up with him, saying that he had no right to ghost her and still have the audacity to cheat on her after their first night together. Jimin told her off calmly, she got embarrassed and ran away crying. Sad life. Could never be you. You felt bad for her though. You couldn't blame her for falling for someone who only viewed her as a hook-up. Jimin was a dick. You don't know what you would have done if that happened to you.

While you were laughing you spotted a figure that caused your smile to drop and your muscles to stiffen. Oh shit. You saw him. You thought you'll never see him again after the stupid stunt you pulled. Gosh, this was going to be embarrassing. Jimin must have noticed how tense you were and how your mood suddenly changed. "You okay?" He asked softly. "Oh, uh, yeah, I- I'm fine, I just need some fresh air." You stammered, finding it hard to speak due to your eyes welling up with tears. "You're definitely not okay, let's go." He offered you his hand, which you gladly took, thanking him for getting you out of the cramped chair as he lead you to the balcony. On your way there the person you tried escaping appeared. Fuck. Luck was not on your side today. Now you wished you just stayed home.

"Ah. Y/N, it's been a while don't you think?" He grinned, looking like a fucking idiot. "Hey." You barely managed to mutter while faking a smile you knew was extremely stiff. "Never thought I would see you at these kind of parties." He smirked, what a cocky bastard. "Me neither, especially after what happened." Heat rose to your cheeks at the thought of your foolish mistake. Jimin looked confused and you could tell that he was wondering how you knew him. "Ah yes, about that, I just wanted to tell you that I'm open now, I mean..." He licked his lips, shamelessly eyeing you up and down not even trying to hide the fact that he was checking you out. "now that you look so fucking hot, you'll look pretty while sitting on my cock." His smirk widened.

Disgusted. Absolutely disgusted...and stupid. That was how you felt, before frustration and anger flooded your veins.The heck? After two fucking years?! Did he really see you as a whore that he'll go to when he felt aroused? Was this how little he thought of you? Did he really view your feelings as trash? Of course it was the sex, you scoffed internally. Your hands were shaking in rage and your eyes burned with fury, but before you could react Jimin snapped. "You fucking bastard! How dare you say that to her!" He shouted, voice filled with anger. "Jimin." You warned, putting a hand on his chest. "I can handle this." You looked away from him to face the stupid, ugly he-goat, who seemed unfazed by Jimin's outrage.

How the hell was this who you had a crush on before? How pathetic. Curse your past self. "You cum eating, stupid motherfucking, self centered, ill-mannered man whore. How dare you fucking use my feelings against me, take advantage of me, ghost me and come back offering sex? You fucking bitch...'' Angry tears spilled from your eyes. You never knew he was this heartless. "I don't even know what I saw in you, I fucking blame myself for having a dumb crush on you! And you fucking think you can tell me this shit to my face after ghosting me for two years?! Fuck you Wonho! Fuck. You." You screamed, not caring about the attention you were drawing from the people at the party.

Jimin held you back but you broke away from his grip before giving Wonho a slap in the face. Yes, you slapped him. Hard. Very hard. So hard that the imprint of your hand was shown on his cheek. It still wasn't enough, it didn't sum up to the amount of pain he put you through. Jimin had taken you away from the party and told the boys that you needed some space.

He held your hands in his as you walked down the road.

"Are you okay now?'' He whispered softly. "I'm fine." You nodded. "Umm do you mind telling me what happened between you and that Wonho guy? You don't have to if you don't want to." He asked hesitantly before panicking. "Nah it's fine." You sniffled. "I was fifteen years and I was going to this sports academy during the summer holidays, that was where I met Wonho. He was quite nice and charming, a contrast to what he is now. We instantly clicked, got talking, became friends, that kinda stuff. I don't know when or how the hell it happened, but I somehow had a crush on him. He was just too good to be true, you know? The perfect boyfriend material and I just couldn't stop myself. It was hard to distance myself from him, but even when I did I still couldn't stop crushing on him. I told Jungkook about it and he said I would only know his feelings for me if I told him. So I gathered the courage to tell him and I did." Your lips quivered and tears threatened to spill again. "Hey it's fine, you don't have to continue". He ushered softly giving you a sympathetic smile. "But I want to."

You inhaled sharply before speaking again. "I told him and you know what he said?" You asked before scoffing. "He said he'll think about it and that he needed time. But it was a lie, I believed it of course, I was still naive back then. He dated many girls and flaunted them in front of me and my stupid self still waited for his answer. He used me, took advantage of the fact that I liked him because he knew I wouldn't say no. Why? Because he knew I was trying to please him." You paused before gulping. "I kept being his puppet, hoping he'll eventually date me. How could he? I mean look at me." You laughed but it wasn't humorous, your voice becoming bitter. "Don't say that." Jimin scolded, but you ignored him and continued speaking.

"This cycle continued, until I overheard his conversation with his friends. He was using me all along. He never liked me, talkless of wanting to be my friend, only approached me 'cause of a bet. He decided to use me instead of dumping me straight up and that I wasn't even his type. That I was..... too ugly to date him. After what I heard, I cried so hard that my mom got worried and had to consult a therapist. I didn't open up. But what really broke me was the fact that he started dating a girl called Seulgi the day I confessed. I felt so stupid. I should've seen it coming. It hurts when you fall for the wrong person. Jimin..." You say turning to look at him with a sad smile. "I'm not the tough girl people say I am or make me out to be, I'm just a pathetic loser, scared of showing emotions and vulnerability. Sometimes I wish I never met him." You sigh, finally meeting his gaze.

He had a broody expression and his jaw was clenched. Tight. Like really tight that you wondered how his teeth weren't broken yet. "Don't say that about yourself Y/N. It's okay to be vulnerable, if you can't show it to others, at least show that side of you to me. Look I know we aren't that close due to us starting off on the wrong foot and it's not my place to tell you this but, he was a dick and an ignorant fool that gave no thought about your feelings." You smiled at the way he was failing miserably at masking his anger and irritation towards Wonho, but your insecurities had the best of you.

"Look Jimin, I am not worth it, stop trying to sugarcoat it or sweet talk me out of it, even you said that I was way too ugly to be your type." You weren't lying though, it was the truth and those were his words. You were surprised to see his jaw clench tighter, how are his teeth not compressed yet? Didn't it hurt? "Look, I don't know why I said that or what I was trying to prove back then. I was young, naive and stupid, okay? But fuck you're beautiful, you're pretty and it hurts to think that my words made you feel like that, I didn't mean to make you feel insecure, I'm sorry." He apologized, angry at himself for not realizing how harsh his words were, but your smile caused his lips to curl upwards. You were damn too cute to be mad around.

He would never tell you this but he thought you were prettiest girl he'd ever met, apart from Rosé of course. "I can understand how you feel though. But if he can't accept you the way you are then he should fuck off. You should feel free to laugh because Wonho is full of shit. You deserve better." "I do." You both keep walking down the road in silence before a question you've been wanting to ask slips out.

"What about you? Why don't you do relationships?" You were very curious about why he only had one night stands and hookups, instead of records of girlfriends and side chicks, but you didn't want to seem like you were prying. So you assumed he wasn't ready for commitment and enjoyed sleeping around. Jimin looked surprised, clearly not expecting your question.

"Are you sure you wanna know?" "If I wasn't sure I wouldn't have asked." You rebutted. "Feisty, are we?" He smiled, amused by your growl before sighing softly. "Her name was Yeji." He started off. "Who? Your girlfriend?" You gaped. It felt like someone just told you Santa Claus actually bought your last Christmas present. Jimin had a girlfriend. There were a lot of things you didn't know about him. He always appeared to be transparent and very open, turns out that there are certain things he keeps to himself.

"I'm sorry, you can continue. I won't cut you off next time, I promise." You sheepishly apologized, feeling bad for interrupting him when he patiently listened to you. "She was my classmate and I had a massive crush on her, due to my bad boy character I guess she did like me back or that was just what I thought. We started dating and I chose to be the best boyfriend ever. I blocked my flings and stopped flirting with other girls. She melted my ice and my cold demeanor, I was so whipped for her back then." He chucked but it was from bitterness not happiness.

"But after six months she broke up with me, it was over text. She said I was too clingy and she hated my lovey dovey act and shit. She expected me to be a possessive dumbass, but all I did was to trust her. I was broken, completely destroyed and it fucking hurt to breathe, but the boys were there for me and helped me with my emotional baggage." He smiled sadly. "I decided to get over her by fucking other girls. The typical fuck till you forget type of shit. I just don't want to go for a girl only for her to leave me like Yeji. When I choose to be committed and serious, I give it my all. But what's the point when all they do is leave? I definitely don't want my efforts wasted. Never heard from her ever since and I want it that way. Just hope she doesn't approach me at school."

His voice was oozing in nothing but hurt. You could relate but Yeji was a bitch. For a ladies' man or let's say womanizer to change for you and you throw that opportunity away just because you wanted him to be 'possessive'? That's so fucking messed up. She was a delusional bimbo. The heck? And to say that it wasn't face to face is crazy. How shitty of her. If Wonho did that for you, you would thank God everyday for your existence on Earth.

"Look, not all girls are like Yeji, and she's a dick for leaving you for such a stupid reason. I mean you're handsome, talented, nice, you're quite the catch, and she threw all that away just because she wanted a guy straight from a Wattpad fiction. She's bullshit, you really deserve someone better." You frowned, anger evident in your voice at the stupidity of Yeji. You never liked her but this just worsened your distaste for her.

"Oh really?"He cocked his brow. "Well, yes but don't let it get to your head." You mumbled, pointing an accusing finger at him. "Thanks for the compliment." He smirked cockily. "Do you wanna get some food?" You asked before your stomach confirmed this by rumbling, causing you to flush in embarrassment while Jimin laughed boisterously. "You ate a whole plate of dessert! And you're still hungry?" He was definitely exaggerating. You ate just a little, it wasn't even close to what you normally ate. "It was just a little." You pouted. "Three slices of cake and half a bowl of ice cream is not little." He stated as a matter of factly causing you to whine. If you didn't cut him off he'd probably talk about the amount of food you ate talkless of the dessert.

"Stop teasing me, I'm hungry!" You huffed, but you couldn't be mad at him for long when he bought you your favorite sandwich from Subway. You enjoyed Jimin's company more than the party. Maybe meeting Wonho wasn't exactly a bad thing. You could finally let go.

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

The bell had rung and everyone was rushing home or talking with their friends. On your way to your gymnastics session, you were pulled to the empty corner Yeon Seo had previously tried to bully you. Why were girls so goddamn obsessed with this location? Before you could say a word Yeji appeared and you just knew this wasn't going to end well, especially after what Jimin had told you.

"Why the fuck are you trying to steal Jimin away from me huh?Haven't you heard the news? He's mine okay? You bitch have become too close to him, didn't you hate him?" You scoffed. The audacity. How dare she stand in front of you and act like you're a threat to her after what she did? Claiming someone that doesn't even talk to you anymore as yours is crazy. Some people need to get checked in a mental hospital. From the look of things Yeji's one of them.

"Coming from you, weren't you the one who said he wasn't 'possessive enough', huh? You left him and he's moved on, accept it and stop being a bitter bitch about it." You snapped, angry at her hypocrisy. Who the hell did she think she was? "If you have an issue, go meet him and stop being a coward." You spat, your anger fueling every passing second.

You saw a hint of shock and fear in her eyes before it swiftly changed to anger as they narrowed into slits. "How dare you fucking say that to me?!" She screamed, while her minions pinned you to the wall. "You and your fucking family are mistakes, what a waste of oxygen. First you lie about Taehyun being your brother, then you act all cute around Jungkook, now you're stealing my Jimin?!"

That was it.

You were angry before, but after what she just said,

You were livid.

They could call you crazy, you wouldn't care,

Because all you could see was RED.

You felt like an angry bull. You went beserk.

Was this bitch listening to herself?

You hated when people brought your family into matters and she of all people had no fucking right to say that.

"You don't get to say shit!" You growled, pushing her foolish minions off you. "You have no damn right to say shit about my family, you hear me?! Because they show me love a million times more than your fucking mother. If you dare come near me I will rip you apart with my bear hands. You fucking bastard."

"Such a motherfucking coward. If you have a fucking problem with me being close to Jimin, why don't you go to him to sort it? Because I am not the fucking problem. You can't even face me alone that you had to bring these two fools to do your dirty work. You lost the privilege to call him yours the moment you sent that text telling him you were done. So don't act like I did something wrong." You scoffed. "And you have the guts to look at me in the face and act all possessive when you know goddamn well you left him. Stop being goddamn insecure. You are the one to blame, so fucking face reality and accept that you've lost him forever, instead of bullying his so called 'close female friend'!!!"

You screamed. Loud. To the extent that your throat hurt, while you gritted your teeth. Yet your anger was not relinquished. She raised her hand to hit you but you didn't flinch or blink; you didn't move an inch. You wanted her to do it so you could have an excuse to rip her hair off her head. But you felt nothing. You weren't the violent type but she was pissing you off. You saw her anger slowly morph into fear and her hand was still in the air, restricted by a firm grip of another person.

"Don't vent your frustration on her, you know damn well it was your fault we broke up and you dare come back after how long to bully her? Why not face me instead? Gosh, you disgust me." He scoffed with a scowl. "You heard her, now scram." His voice dropping in octaves, even you felt shivers crawling up your spine. The girls didn't think twice before running off. Such weaklings.

To say Jimin was shocked was not enough to describe his surprise. Yes he saw you angry the day you encountered Wonho, but you weren't this livid. Your eyes were sharp, red, and boiling with anger; they could cut through thin ice. Your fists were shaking in rage as curled them so tight that your knuckles were white. It was almost as if you were restraining yourself from punching someone. Your lips were twitching constantly and your body was trembling. He'd never seen you this mad before, even when he used to pick on you. You had a darkside, he was thankful that you never showed it to him.

His lips formed a frown at your state. What did Yeji say to you to cause this? Why the hell did she think of doing that? It was hard to calm you down and he honestly couldn't believe you could laugh so hard at his joke after how frustrated you looked. Damn, Jin was damn right about your duality. The fact that you didn't sulk amazed him. How the hell were you so cheerful? He would be a very terrible liar if he said your smile didn't make him happy. He sometimes envied how you managed to stay bubbly and gleeful, even when there was nothing to smile about. He had tried and it never worked.

He promised himself to always protect and be there for you. You were like an innocent puppy too precious for this bullshit school life. Jungkook was right. He really had bad taste in women. Because why the fuck will he go for a snake like Yeji? Come to think of it, Yeji was really flat, her ass was not stareable, and she hated leaving her face bare or natural. Thank God he didn't fuck her yet. He sounds so foolish. When last has he even fucked a girl? Been ages. He really isn't interested.

It's been two days since your encounter with Yeji and even though your mind has been spiraling at the thought of what she'll do next, they were lots of other things you were concerned about. The days of the week flew fast and today was no different. School was already over and you were packing up your stuff; you expected Jungkook to wait at the door for you since you both went to the same sports academy and he usually dropped you off at cheer practice sometimes, but you were met with the sight of Ms. Lee repositioning her glasses over the bridge of her nose.

She crossed her arms and cleared her throat. "Miss Y/N, my office,now." She said curtly, leaving no room for arguments. Was this about your beef with Yeji? Was she really that petty? Oh no, history's gonna repeat itself. Curse Yeon Seo and Yeji. Those two foul-mouthed dorks were nothing but annoying. As you took a seat in her office, you wondered why her expression was so stoic. How do teachers manage to look like AI generated news reporters for eight hours everyday? Surely their lips must hurt from frowning.

"I know you're wondering why why you're here, so I'll go straight to the point." She cleared her throat once again. "Your Maths grades are declining and you have regressed a lot in your academics." "What does that mean?" You questioned, thanking God that it wasn't about the fights you had with those two witches. "You'll have to stop cheerleading for a while." She casually said with a neutral expression. How could she be so calm about this? "What?! Why?! How?!" Why now? Your school life was becoming a mess. First it was Yeon Seo's stupid stunt then it was you bumping into Wonho, and then the Yeji problem, now this? Seems like the only luck you have is bad luck.

Cheerleading was your life and if you weren't going to do it for a while it meant that you also had to stop gymnastics. "You'll continue when your grades begin to improve." Her face still as blank as a sheet of paper. Was she even human? Because she acts more like a robot. Anger, stress and frustration from the past few days started building up again and you bit your bottom lip to stop yourself from sobbing. Not in front of her at least.

"I don't need maths to be a cheerleader or gymnast!" You snarled angrily. Your anger was becoming too much these days. You have never been mad like this before, these days everything seemed to irritate you. Maybe hormones? You weren't sure if they were the cause. "You are a cheerleader and has that helped you with your maths grades?" She rebutted a bit annoyed. That got you speechless. "I don't want to-" "You're dismissed young lady." She waved you off, focusing on her monitor. Sometimes she was scarier than the principal, you truly wondered how her kids coped.

Walking out of her office, you looked down the hallway and saw that it was empty. At this time everyone would already be home while you're here instead of cheer practice. The thought brought tears back to your eyes. You sat on the floor, in front of a locker with your legs crossed to your chest and your arms crossed around them as you rested your head on your knees. You finally gave way for the tears and let them trickle down your cheeks as you let out a sob.

Why was every bad thing happening to you? You loved cheerleading and you were passionate about it. It was your dream to become a gymnast in the future. Why the fuck did Maths have to be compulsory? You hated it because it was hard and complicated, with stupid topics like algebra and indexes. Who on earth is gonna teach you the basics without getting annoyed at your slow pace? How the hell are you gonna be good at Maths in a short time period? You knew for a fact that the quicker you improve the quicker you start cheerleading, but who the fuck is gonna help you with that?

You kept sobbing until you felt a pair of headphones being put on your ears, it was playing soft music, which sort of calmed you down. Your shoulders were trembling, your lips were quivering, your eyes were glossy with tears, your cheeks were wet and stained with the salty water spilling from your eyes and your hair was extremely rough. Gosh, you looked so ugly when you cried. You looked up and saw the one person that has been there for you these past few weeks.

"Hey, what's wrong?umm are the headphones helping? My mom always said music helps in calming people down." He spoke softly, bending down to your level. "I hate school, I hate the teachers, I hate my grades, I hate Maths, I just hate my life! Fuck everything!" You exclaimed, more tears trickling down your cheeks.

To say Jimin was shocked was below an understatement. You always appeared to be strong headed, he's never seen you in such a vulnerable state before. He had seen you cry, yes, but those were angry tears; you looked sad and broken that he wished he could take all the pain away. He masked his surprise and wiped the tears off your cheeks. You told him what had happened and he wanted to help. "How about I tutor you for Maths, yeah?" He softly asked, cupping your cheeks between his two hands, forcing you to look at him.

He pulled you to stand on your feet and wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tight, placing his chin above your head. "Hey, it's okay." He whispered reassuringly. He'd never been this close to you before, he'd never even hugged you before. He wasn't a fan of skinship but when it came to you it was different. A good kind of different. He swears he feels butterflies in his stomach; he just hoped you couldn't hear how fast his heart was beating. He hated to see you cry and he wanted to be the reason you smiled again.

Instagram📷

Parkjimin1306😌

❤ 🗨 ↗ 🔖

1,397 likes

Parkjimin1306😌 my girl bestie⭐

34 minutes ago

← Comments

JeonJK07__💪🐰

bro's so whipped ❤

Jin_WWH😍

Fr ❤

Vbts🐻

#Y/Nmin! ❤

Y/N_ate_that😝

Not this again! ❤

hobi_the_sunshine_🌅

I bet on a hundred bucks that these two are gonna date. ❤

They're just so adorable 🤩!

JeonJK07__💪🐰

I'm definitely paying up. ❤

Vbts🐻

Make that two hundred hobi. ❤

I will gladly pay.

Jin_WWH😍

You're gonna be rich soon Hobi, cause I can already picture them together. ❤

Iwannabearock🗿

Lovebirds ❤

Y/N_ate_that😝

Not you too yoongi! ❤

your username is so weird.

RM_2013_🤓

Don't try changing the subject ❤

Parkjimin1306😌

Y'all just get out of my comment section. ❤

Hey guys, sorry for the late update school work was in the way. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry about the poor editing of Instagram i don't have Instagram photos to use.

[sillylittlelemon]

HELLO!! ok sorry I’m not sure if ur still doing match ups so u can just ignore this if u want but could I get a saiki k and a hazbin hotel matchup <33

- I’m a certified yapper and I will ramble on about my interests for hours

- Im a big people pleaser and I try my best to make everyone around me feel comfortable and appreciated

- I tend to tolerate toxic behaviour just to avoid abandonment

- Im a romcom enthusiast and a bit of a film buff

- I like loads of music and singers but lately I’ve been loving my bloody valentine , salvia palth , alex g and Tyler the creator.

- My love languages are probably acts of service and physical touch.

- My humour is kinda all over the place and Im a sucker for dad jokes and well thought out dirty jokes

- I’m a hopeless romantic and I would probably fall head over heels for anyone who shows the slightest amount of interest in me

Okay- i wasnt sure about your sexuality (or gender) so ill do short headcannons for two characters i think youd fit with (seperatly not poly)

Sorry to my other requests im working as i go- right now tumblr is a passion project so ive gotta feel like- i dunno 'the spark' to actually get it done, but i promiseim trying

ALSO just a warning to anyone who reads/requests saiki k stuff, its been a bit sincei watched the show and also i donthave anywhere ican watch it currently so characters areprobably atleast a little ooc

This chick-

(I make a vauge reference to a little spice in her part but nothing explicit or bad)

And this guy-

YES. I know they have totally different vibes but hear me out.

He gives such 'im a big tough guy, but please love me in secret and call me your favorite boy'

she gives such 'im a brat but im your brat and actually i just want love and attention because i look like i would have major mommy issues'

And i dunno it just works

He would def be a cuddle bug once the walls are down and yall have bonded more and your in private(read: MUST be in private bc bb boy is defensive and dont f with pda), i feel like hes the type to hold you on his chest and rub your back (yall are laying on his/your couch or bed) and when he thinks your asleep he starts murmuring under his breath about how he's so glad you got past his walls- about how it means so much to him that you put up with his bs. This def lead to you pretending to be asleep more often so you can hear in words how he really feels, because lets be honest, words dont always equal feelings, and sometimes (i.e most times) he doesnt say it how he means it.

Now HER on the other hand-

All. Over. You.

Like..

Lowkey her?

Shes just so happy to HAVE you, right? Like- soulmates or not, youre hers. She adores you. Worships the ground you walk on, praises you breathless in more ways than one. Shes so confident- like... even if she isnt ACTUALLY, she portrays it so well, and she Hypes. You. Up. 24/7, 365. No matter if youre short, tall, heavy, skinny, freckled, dark, pale, or anywhere in between. She is making sure everyone knows youre her girl (or boy or whatever but based on your sentence structure im guessing female?) [NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSE I SWEAR I JUST IMAGINED YOU BEING FEMALE?] -oh god im gunna get cancelled-

N-E-Ways

Same here but itll be just generally better bc im more caught up with this fandom lol

He is this

But he wants to be this so bad

Sir precious for my darling precious

And

His love lmao

Sir Precious is 100% angel material (take that sera you bitch 🤟😝) He's just.... precious. Lmao. We've seen how flustered he gets with Cherry and imagine that but like- in an ACTUAL relationship with pda and shit. Like- stuttering, panicking, but also completely soothed by the hand currently resting in his? So many conflicting emotions, y'knowwww... he might need a kiss to get his head straight? Or maybe two? Hmmm, no that didnt work- lets try three, third times a charm right? *cue pentious sly+nervous smile* Would 100% bury his face in your tits/chest (under much encouragement and reassurance even more now that his minions spill the tea that hes been talking in his sleep about this very moment)

-can we talk about the smooth bass in the finale?-

-poor husk, man was singing and smiling like his soul was free-

Why do i feel like this is right up her alley?

Onto Miss Bomb,

She's a lot more brash in her affections. Not afraid to tug you down to her level and suck your soul out through your lips. Def had an emo phase when she was alive (if shes not still in it) She just.. loves you. Like her and angel you guys bicker, but i feel like while youre bickering she has her chin resting on your chest/tits, staring up at you with the slyest smirk and biggest heart eyes known to demon AND man kind.

[helladirections]

What do u think of the phrase “from the river to the sea Palestine will be free”? Apparently it’s antisemitic and I wanted ur opinion

Short answer: Yes, mostly.

Long answer: below the cut. I need to preface with a few things:

My statement on the war is the same as it has always been. Dying is bad, I am concerned about people living in imminent danger (including people I know and people I don't). Also, I have always been for a two state solution, human rights, self determination, etc. for everybody.

There's a narrative about how it's not necessarily the responsibility of a person to explain what is / isn't offensive to their culture / identity, which is valid. But most of my Jewish community is very into educating others, and I'd rather you come to me than not at all.

There's an old saying, "2 Jews, 3 opinions." So don't take what I have to say as the end all be all. Also, while I've spent a lot of time intentionally educating myself on this issue (especially beyond what they just teach us growing up), I have never claimed to be an expert.

Resources you might be interested in at the bottom.

Like most things in Judaism and surrounding modern day Israel, this answer can be a bit complicated when going into the full context. So please bear with me. And remember that one of our main texts (Talmud) is a tiny section of Torah surrounded by a giant page of two ancient rabbis literally arguing with each other. Please don't be mad that the answer isn't super easy.

First, a bit of history.

Claims to the land: Both Jews and Palestinians have ancestral claims to the piece of land that we call modern Israel. There's really not a way to argue around that, nor should anyone. In ancient times, Jews / Israelites / Hebrews were not the only people to be living there. Sometimes they lived in peace with others, sometimes they were at war. (As was typical for the time period). Up until about the time of the 1948 UN resolution, there wasn't really a concept of "Palestinians" as a specifically Arab people. Palestine was just one of the names used for the land, in addition to Israel, Zion, and others.

Theology: Jews have religious texts claiming that Israel is our homeland given by Gd. Much (but not all) of the religious context actually comes directly from the story of Passover, a holiday which is starting on Monday night. Jews were slaves in Egypt, Pharoah was bad, 10 plagues, parting of the Red Sea, 40 years in the desert, Israel. Etc. Do I think that this should actually matter in a modern day political / civil conflict? No. But I think it's worth mentioning for context because some people think it is relevant.

Religious Spaces: Jews, Christians, and Muslims all have highly important landmarks around what is now Israel.

Jews in the land: Although the Jews were as a whole kicked out of Israel in the post Temple period (after the second Temple was destroyed, leaving only the Western Wall that we have now), a portion of Jews remained in the area. Additionally, there has been a pretty through line of belief that Jews would some day be back in that land. (Also Passover: at the end of the service we say "next year in Jerusalem!") Zionism - the belief that there should be a modern state of Israel, has always existed in some form, although sometimes not using that name.

Modern Political Agreements: There were some phases of individual Jewish communities going into the land and building what is now Tel Aviv, parts of Jerusalem, etc. Then there was the British Mandate. I forget the timeline, but there were multiple international offers to give Jews a piece of land was smaller than what Israel is now, or didn't even include Jewish holy sites, and from my knowledge, most of the Jewish leaders at those times were ready to accept anything they were offered.

Then after the Holocaust, there were millions of displaced Jews with nowhere to go. One of the primary reasons why the UN established the modern state of Israel was to address that problem - No one wanted to let them in, they didn't want to go anywhere random, and a general sense that there had to be a place that Jews could go to a be safe if something like the Holocaust were to happen again. That UN resolution was in 1948. There has been on and off war in the region since well before 1948, but the day after that resolution, all hell broke loose.

Gaza & Hamas: A lot of progress has been made since 1948. Israel has peace treaties with many Arab countries, Egypt being a prime example. Most relevant to this question and this moment in time is that in 2005, Israel left Gaza. The Israeli government displaced tons of Jewish & non Jewish Israelis to give that land to Palestinians. After leaving, Gaza was left to govern itself. The government that was chosen was Hamas. Hamas is not really a government and does not look after its people, its goal is not to govern, but to destroy Israel. And not only to destroy Israel because it is the political entity, but because it is the Jewish state specifically.

Now, the actual phrase

Meaning of From The River to The Sea: This phrase directly references from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea. It calls to completely eliminate the existence of the modern, democratic, Jewish state of Israel, and replace it with a modern, most likely undemocratic and led by Hamas, state of Palestine.

Also: This catchy chant was created and continues to be pushed by people who are antisemitic and want to destroy not only modern Israel, but see all Jews as inherently evil.

However: It's a catchy chant. People want peace, human rights, and self determination, just as I said above. If all the people around you are claiming to want those same things, and this is the catchy chant that has become part of the brand, it makes sense to join in on it.

Plus: From the the river to the sea, no one should be oppressed, deprived of human rights, or living in imminent danger. Dying is bad.

So what does that all mean?

One of the major reasons why modern Israel exists is for the protection of the Jewish people. One of the (many) major reasons why Palestinians do not have a modern state is because Hamas and other Palestinian leadership have refused to negotiate with Israel and have only ever called for its complete and total destruction. Hamas has always called for destruction through violent means not just because Israel is currently there, but because Israel is Jewish.

So my "final answer": The chant was created by, is in line with, and supports movements which not only seek to eliminate the modern state of Israel, but do so through violent and destructive means specifically because it is Jewish. Therefore, in my opinion and that of most of the Jewish community, From The River To The Sea Palestine Will Be Free is an antisemitic slogan.

Furthermore, regardless of if the slogan is defined formally as antisemitic or not, it often accompanies people and actions which make Jews, including myself, feel unsafe.

That being said, there have always been Jewish voices calling for the elimination of Israel. After all, 2 Jews, 3 Opinions. And, many, if not most, people who repeat that phrase don't know the full history and don't intend to be antisemitic - the Pro Palestinian movement has done a wonderful job at branding around human rights.

Some more of my opinions, just for the record if I still managed to have your attention.

Just because you disagree with a government or the way a country was formed, does not mean the country does not have a right to exist. I disagree with the American government almost all the time, and the founding of this country relied on abusing BIPOC. But America is here, and so we deal with it and try to make the best of it.

I hate Netanyahu. I always have. My grandpa, who used to like him, now hates him as much as I do. We talked last night about how he is making it so difficult to be Jewish around the world right now.

My definition of the word Zionism: The belief that modern Israel has a right to exist as a democratic Jewish state.

My perfect version of that land: People stop killing each other, everyone has the right to self governance, universal human rights, everyone has safe access to their own holy sites. I think the most likely way to get there is through some sort of two state solution. I do not know what the lines look like.

Israel policy and politics used to be a hobby for me, something I cared about and found interesting. It was also an entry point into my political career. Then it was my job. Now it's not fun and I do try to avoid it because I get too emotional and I can't really do anything about it anyway. I said Netanyahu is making it hard to be Jewish anywhere in the world, because diaspora Jews are constantly being blamed for the actions of an independent country. It gets hard.

I have generally avoided talking about October 7th, and the ongoing war. That is because there are images from that day that I cannot unsee. My intrusive thoughts are those images. It's not healthy for me to be plagued by that constantly.

You may have read me write about this before, but I know a lot of people in Israel right now. My best friend and her son - my nephew, live just west of Jerusalem in a small Orthodox community, which means it sometimes takes days for me to get responses from her after a big event, especially if it overlaps with Shabbat or another holiday. I check in with her just a couple of days ago though, and she said she's doing well and she feels safe.

Resources you might be interested in:

ADL on From The River to The Sea AJC on From The River to The Sea AP on From The River to The Sea

History.com overview of Israel history MyJewishLearning overview of Israel history US State Department on the creation of Israel in 1948 Brittanica on history & conflict in Israel

Anyway, I hope this answers your question, I'm sorry it was so long, and I'm aware that I'm about to get some hateful comments. If you are going to send me a hateful anon, just know that I'm going to block you, then check my blocked list, and know who you are. I'm not going to sacrifice my mental health and stability over people who don't understand the full context of what they are talking about and choose to just attack with hate.

[emtmercy]

i think ur take on lestat and louis being written as just being mutually toxic and shit to each other rather than as a case of systematic abuse makes the most sense for how the show ended.. and i see how while lestat also hurt louis readily and often, its not consistent and its perhaps not necessarily abuse. i disagree though that "terrorizing someone for dominance" is the only thing that constitutes abuse. irl ive seen reasons and ways other than "for dominance" where people will abuse a partner or loved one, yes as a pattern of behaviour

also you said jacob had a point when he said what louis did could be seen as abuse. perhaps clarification is needed because this doesnt make sense based on ur definition of abuse. louis has also never "terrorized lestat for dominance" - especially when looking at what the writers had louis apologize to lestat for, which was him being miserable to lestat many nights bc he was suffering and resentful.

also i am trying to wrap my head around how some of the 'they r mutually toxic' arguments r the same ones ive heard with irl relationships -amber heard and johnny depp for example, especially with the recordings of their fights and the trial being so public. how do we clearly tell and argue the difference? u said that the writers clearly dont see loustat as an abusive relationship, and i am beginning to agree, but if for example they also dont see amber and depp as an abusive relationship, could we take the show they wrote at face value anymore.

you made some definite statements about what abuse is based on the show, extrapolated to real life, so I think its only fair to stress test them, but if you don't feel comfortable discussing it further that's fine

Well I do think I have to challenge your understanding of abuse. Abuse is about control. Replace the world dominance with control in your mind if that’s easier to understand. But yes abuse is committed for control. Always. Period. Anyone in the abuse field will tell you this. Suggestion to the contrary is dangerous. Abuse is always always always centered around control. This part isn’t up for debate. That terror can take a thousand forms but the goal is control. That’s a central definitive characteristic of abuse. I’m at work but maybe later I could suggest some writings on this that may help clarify what I mean. Like yes abuse takes many forms but it revolves around the attempt to control another person

And yes I wasn’t listing Jacob’s quote because I think Jacob has a perfect understanding of real life abuse, I listed it to help people understand the very fictional story being told. You’re right that the idea that Louis abused Lestat goes against a real definition of human abuse. I don’t believe Louis nor Lestat abused the other in the human sense. What Jacob was saying was a response to a specific inquiry about the nature of his relationship w Lestat and he was trying to explain that Lestat is not more culpable than Louis and that they’re both hurting each other. Me explaining the intentions and understandings of these people isn’t me saying anything other than that this is what intended and understood by them.

Neither of us know how the writers feel about depp/herd. And whether or not the writers have good opinions on it doesn’t really affect whether or not they’re the people writing this story. Their intentions are their intentions even if you think they should have other intentions. You don’t have to take their politics at face value or respect them. You don’t have to think the show has good politics. You can think the show is offensive. I have no problem with you taking issue with the writers. I am simply explaining their intentions, which exist regardless of whether their intentions are offensive to some or to all. As you’re beginning to agree with, yes the writers clearly didn’t intend to portray a human abuse dynamic with an abuser and victim. That doesn’t mean they did it perfectly. That doesn’t mean they didn’t use tropes they perhaps shouldn’t have. It’s just an explanation of the show as it exists ! I personally have critique of how they handled this. It’s not a deal breaker for me personally because I understand and at heart respect the story they are trying to tell but violence can be really triggering for those of us who have to be in this real world and I totally get if this story is a deal breaker for some

What a writer intends is not chained to what is most politically appropriate in the real world. They can intend and write anything they want. And we can say we think it sucks if we want. But we have to start from a point of understanding the show as written.

And I think your question on how we know the difference speaks to cultural misunderstandings of both abuse and of fiction that people are really grappling with right now

Amber heard experienced real gendered violence within a system of abuse that is very obvious and clear to anyone who has had the opportunity to truly learn the signs of an abuse cycle. It was not unclear or confusing to anyone I know who understands abuse. Depps abuse of her was quite a classic case. His campaign of terror over her in pursuit of total control of her and dominance over her is what makes him the abuser in the situation.

I’m not saying anyone who didn’t understand that case immediately is evil or has no experience of abuse, but I am saying that once you get to have access to the knowledge we’ve amassed on abuse as a greater social pattern and quite specific dynamic then it does become clear.

Louis and Lestat inherently need a different lens than real people because they were WRITTEN. They took no actions not intended to communicate something to the audience. They have no personal will. They are characters who act within a story written by a person with specific intentions. They exist only within this fictional realm. There’s no greater truth than their existence as it is in the fiction because they’re not real.

Louis did not experience a clear abuse cycle and we don’t have to worry there’s something secret we don’t see happening behind closed doors because he’s fictional. The writers have communicated to us what they want us to know. And I think comparisons of Louis to amber are unfortunate given she’s a real person being abused and Louis is an evil vampire doing mutually toxic shit with no One abuser and One victim. Her situation was very classic sadly. The fact that many people rejected the clarity of her situation is due to widespread victim blaming in society and the fact that we don’t educate well on abuse. But there’s a reason all the big domestic violence experts were writing essays. It was very clear. And you don’t see the same markers of abuse in this fictional story because it was written to not be that

I genuinely hope this clarifies some !

[kae-karo]

is it bad I want to see your other ideas anyway-- adsagkljdslkgj. HOW MANY WIPS DO YOU HAVE actually scratch that I cant say shit because I have a kise wip in progress rn oops-- cant wait for your rnis work to drop <3<3<3

ahahhahaha no no ur so valid!!! for context (x) i'll do uhhh a quick synopsis below the cut for anyone who's interested in what i didn't mention over on twt !!! and i'll talk abt wips too LMAO i love a good excuse to talk abt what i'm working on. and omg dw u are so valid !!!!! and i take no offense i am always in wip hell (affectionate) (i like having things to jump around between so i never get too frustrated if i get stuck somewhere)

if any of yall see anything below that ur super into, let me know!! always cool to know what people are hyped about, may influence what i work on next lmao

first, wips!!

as mentioned i have a rnis fic which is VERY very loosely based on the concept from this post (x) ft background ryusae lsjdffsd cause i apparently can't write a fic without them

also if ur a fan of the mall au (x) i'm currently posting, u will be thrilled to know that i am neck-deep in part 2 which will feature sendou (some ryusaesen but endgame aikusenbarou), charles (one-sided pining for shidou + endgame niko/charles), isagi (kaisagi and some bachisagi), and karasu (tabieita fake dating flavor) !!!!

ryusae praise kink gone wrong !!!!! i love the way shidou is so complimentary of others and i Bet he has a praise kink himself and i just think that sae'd pick up on that and (completely on accident) say smth that rly hits on something shidou's actually sensitive about (like, smth he's self-conscious about that sae compliments) and it turns the whole 'about to hook up' vibe into smth rly soft and tender

ouuuuu ryusae Again but this time, sae got machine-ified at a young age to basically be used as an enhanced human processor for a research facility (where he's basically always hooked up to wires and whatnot, processing research data etc) and shidou's the new maintenance person assigned to take care of him :)

i think i mentioned in passing that i had some other ideas for spinoffs of the kaisagi counterspell fic (x) but i have actually started working on the initial ryusae spinoff which is a getting-back-together vibe where shidou broke it off bc sae couldn't accept the idea that shidou might like him just...for him, so he used shidou as a test subject for various spells he was developing in an effort to push him away

ryusae Again i swear i think abt charas that aren't sd and se lmaoooo this one's fully just pwp and my ovipos kink + shidou with tentacles :)

ough a longfic idea that i wrote a little bit of the start of that's ryurin but i think i need to rethink the actual dynamics of their relationship bc i might prefer platonic ryurin (like,,,,relationship but not romantic) but high school au with rin who's crushing on kaiser (bear with me) bc he thinks kaiser's so Cool and Punk only for kaiser to start changing his behavior bc he's crushing on sae who is very Uncool and Preppy (in rin's eyes) only to find out that sae's annoying friend shidou is actually very cool and punk and likes the same music etc etc chaos ensues

ryukai i just think they should be messy together and the line "are you seriously hard right now" felt hilariously perfect to make kaiser say to shidou. while they're watching rnis fight on field. i think this one includes some repressed kaisagi emotions on kaiser's part tho so i have to think abt how deep or not deep i wanted to go with those

kise spinoff of spellbound (x) the ryukuro fic !!!! that goes into detail on when sae first showed up at the castle and how he ended up staying

and then tbh i have a number of other wips that i refuse to say ive abandoned but also i have not touched in a While (zhongli x kaeya/childe/diluc/aether, bakutodo boarding school au, a kunigiri i halfway rewrote when i found out i accidentally completely deleted a kncg fic i wrote that couldn't be recovered)

and then other ideas asdkfjklsfdj

isagibowl actor au that i did not delve into plot wise any further than that lmaoooo frankly i just think i need to write isagibowl at some point cause that boy deserves to FUCK

my cousin's best man at his wedding gave a speech abt how my cousin FORGOT WHO HE WAS after they'd already met and been on like. the same baseball team or smth and idek what ship this would be (probs smth with rin or sae) but it made me laugh so hard i had to write it down

sae who Refuses to form attachments with anyone and hooks up with many people (this is labeled in my notes as 'sae using whoever as basically a dildo' and frankly i'm right)

everyone in ng11 having a tattoo so sae has a tramp stamp. idk if it's when he acquires the tattoo or what but i just think i should write abt it

siren sae ryusae this is a GREAT idea i should rly write this but siren sae who gets captured on purpose to bait someone on the ship into going overboard (ofc it ends up being shidou that he fixates on) and eventually he succeeds and nearly kills shidou except shidou's just looking at him like he sees sae and not some Evil Creature and sae's just like. fuck. and doesn't kill him, just tosses him up on some beach which is a pain in the ass cause no legs and then shidou finds him again and sae tries to scare him off by being all demon siren like and shidou is just ENAMORED

throat goat shidou ryurin where shidou'll give basically anyone head and most of the pxg guys have taken him up on it. rin hasn't (but he will :) )

another nontraditional fic format concept where sae keeps detailed records of everyone he's slept with, notes on preferences kinks how good/not good the sex was etc etc in like. a Form format

o i'm redacting this one cause i decided to use this idea for an original story instead lmao

noaego outsider pov "i wonder if your therapist knows everything about me" based right before noa goes to bllk to coach the bm team i just think noa's poor therapist would be so exasperated abt him going back to his ex like that

ryurin neighbors au where rin can see in shidou's window and that guy is ALWAYS half-naked and doesn't have/doesn't close his blinds/curtains and rin gets so fed up with it that he leaves a note on the door except then he swears it's happening MORE often, chaos ensues and rin goes over to Confront the guy. horny chaos ensues :)

kaisagi pov of fanfic writer hiori where kaiser's desperately trying to figure out what the hell is happening with all this fic stuff. bachira keeps sending isagi kaisagi fic from his fave author (hiori, not that he knows that) and isagi ends up reading it (out of morbid curiosity ofc !!!!) unsure of the resolution but it would be very cracky i think

saesagi my beloved but it's a seat chat fic bc i'm unwell about seat chat on airplanes. anyway 12yo isagi finds out he's on a plane with ITOSHI SAE (13yo, when he got scouted for real madrid) and sends him a seat chat message just talking about how amazing a player he is etc. ffw however many years and sae is lowkey obsessed with him (maybe in a 'his encouragement is what got sae through some of his darkest times in madrid' sort of way)

ryusae it's always ryusae lmao pop idol sae and budding makeup artist shidou. sae's notorious for being insanely picky abt his makeup (brands, application, style, etc) and regularly fires new artists. at some point, he fires one right before he's supposed to go on stage, calls kaiser in (old friends, and kaiser did his makeup before kaiser made it big & started his own company) and kaiser's like just this once, then i'm sending you someone else. and sends over the guy that barged into his office trying to get a job with no credentials or pro experience or references (aka shidou lmao)

ryusae (again, i know) trans camboy shidou and very invested watcher sae, but it's set in canon, and that's actually part of why sae picked shidou for the u20 game

ryusae (i knOW) where shidou wakes up multiple times to sae fucking him (or riding him, blowing him, etc) and he's like. pretty boy. I wanna be involved in this, wake me up next time. and sae is like rly cautious and hedgy abt it. won't say why but could go lots of ways - he thinks he wants it too often and shidou will find him annoying, he's still struggling to say when he wants smth, etc

ryukai dying each other's hair. bonus points if they both end up with purple tips

ryucha where charles clocks shidou's boner on field and follows him into the locker room to get dicked down about it

kise based vaguely (plot whomst we don't know her) on not the one by movie night (x)

kaisagi fwb i typed 'ypichi' in a fic on accident and published it not noticing the typo and i think kaiser would typo isagi's name and then put him in his phone as 'y🍑y' which would irritate isagi to no end. other than that, plot whomst?

rin&sae 2nd person pov fic about destroying your brother's dreams or smth along those lines. i have like. one starting line to potentially use here lsdjfklfs

either ryusae (iKNOW okay i know) or rinsagi based on i like me better by lauv (specifically the spotify studio recording version) (x) where they're just being. so unbearably soft for each other

rinsagisae based on in the middle by dodie (x) idk which one would be the ex of isagi's but i have written ryurinsae before and i wld rly like to try my hand at rinsagisae as well

ryukai i am deeply obsessed with them both having this core motivator of 'proof of existence' and i think that could be a fun idea to incorporate into a pwp fic

this is so important to me i need to write an h2o fic some day and i think it being about sae, isagi, and kaiser getting mer'd would be the best way to hit on all the relationships and dynamics i would want to explore

phew. okay. sldkfjklsfdjsfd. hey if u made it this far, thanks for checking this out !!! i think i unironically have another 11 fics i've finished that are in the queue to post over the next couple months so hopefully u will enjoy those as well!

and hey if any of these sounded particularly interesting (or any of the ideas i mentioned on my twt thread - x) feel free to let me know!! no promises, but i could possibly be steered toward certain ideas over others once i'm done with this rnis fic lmao

[hibiscuslynx]

hi it’s me again. (the anon who said i liked seeing you on my dash) i love hockey and baseball (really any sport atp), and have noticed you do as well, so do you have any New Jersey and New York sports headcanons?

HI! WELCOME BACK! AND OH BROTHER (or sibling/sister) DO I EVER !!!!!!

when that hudson river rivalry hits >>>>>>>>>>>>>

devils/rangers rivalry goes fucking crazzyyyyy in the statehouse yeah its not buffalo but tables are still being broken alright. noses too. you shouldve SEEN the shit that hudson river rivalry was getting up to in the 2010s . nj/ny r the same fucking way btw. fighting ur long-esteemed rival every time your teams meet >>>>>>>>>. i like to think this extends to devils/islanders and devils/sabres matches too bc thats all still new york even tho the rivalry isnt as strong there in the actual sport but i want these goofers to have fun soooo. i say they get really into those matches too. they use sports as a way to ✨bond✨ even though they would kill me if i said that.

nj does not have a baseball team so i imagine he isnt the biggest baseball fan in the world. definitely a hockey, football, and (college) basketball guy to me. new york, on the other hand, may quite possibly be the biggest baseball fan you have ever seen.

did you guys know. that the new york jets and the new york giants play in the same stadium. THE SAME STADIUM!!!! they literally live in the same fucking house. thats crazy. and you know where that stadium is? IN NEW JERSEY. new york is just leeching off of new jersey atp. maybe thats why he’s such a ride or die for the bills actually bc its the one team he has that actually you know is in new york.

i also think they actually play sports yk . the NE has some damn good hockey matches . nj & ny both play forward, nj more of a gritty(ha) fiery guy who does the tough work and quite frankly a little bit of a pest. likes to get under your skin. sneaky good shot. winger, plays either side. ny, on the other hand, is a two-way forward, center, plays damn good defensive and offensive hockey, can double as an offensive defenseman too. u can find him all over the ice, in the right spots, doing what he needs to be doing. not known for his hits but lays good ones.

they also play football too !! i know jackshit about football though so i could not tell you what positions they play. all i know is quarterback 😭 is it basic of me to say ny quarterback? who knows. i dont!

looping back to hockey. theyre both diehard proponents that you should not take fighting out of hockey . mfs r projecting over here. new jersey threatens suicide every time his team does badly. he alternates between being mad at his team for sucking and then muttering “im gonna fucking kill myself” afterwards. (i know you didnt ask abt PA but he does the same. there’s this tweet thats like ‘every person ive ever met from philadelphia is a lovely person who casually expresses suicidal ideation within 2 minutes of talking anout their sports team’ and its the funniest thing in the world to me. does this tie into new jersey hcs? technically, yes, bc i hc theyre brothers ^_^ enough of that tangent) new york does not do that . i just dont feel like hes that kinda guy! he is very passionate about his teams tho. they both are tbh!

this is kind of all over the place but i hope you enjoy anon ^_^ and anyone who happens to read this. this is mostly about hockey SORRY thats what i know and love LMAO

[sttoru]

(same anon here about JJK)

I'm not sure if I'm going to start watching JJK. I'm the type that's too lazy to watch a show if no one invited me to 😭 idk if that made any sense. but JJK does intrigue me a few times before.

i just want to ask if the lore is heavy like aot? not a big fan of aot (no offense to aot fans <3 ) but the plot gets kinda messy ? and i lose interest at one point because I don't understand shit my bad😭🙏 Plus I'm more of a slice of life show kinda girl.

ps, spoilers is okay if you want to tell me a bit of the lore. I love spoilers, ik it's weird

yeah so uhm nonnie… please dont start jjk 🙁 LMAOOOO the way the manga is going… its tragic and i dont want to share the pain of losing your favs w anyone else plessrejdn

and u made a good point—jjk is now on the same level as aot in terms of tragedy bcs everyone KEEPS DYING LEFT AND RIGHTTTTT . 😞 idk if you’ve seen my page or any other jjk writer’s page, but another character just died today and uhhhh twitter is also in shambles

the plot is suppoppeeeeeerrr messy, so if you’re more of a slice of life girlie — just keep ur peace bby LMAO

[dateamonster]

what’s your opinion on monstrous transformations (both fast and slow), and also more controversially what do you think about having monsters/nonhuman characters serve as minority allegory (as opposed to society’s hate for them being being an allegory)

ohhh hold on this is a rly good question i think abt a Lot actually.

ok getting the first bit out of the way, love a good monstrous transformation. fast, slow, its all good. i personally like gradual slow shifts the most but its a situational thing. transformation is one of those things that like just always has to be symbolic. even more than the degree to which Everything is symbolic ya know. so like context rly matters when it comes to how to invoke it most effectively.

MOVING ON

i think from the phrasing of the ask ur looking for something more along the lines of like. for example shapeshifters as representation of nonbinary people or aliens as representation of different cultures rather than like monsters vs humans as allegory for racism. but im also not sure you can meaningfully separate the two! the latter i think is more overused so it like registers more as an immediate red flag, but its like. if the aliens from avatar werent being violently invaded by humans it wouldnt make like their reskinned stereotypical indigeneity anymore tolerable i dont think.

which isnt to say i think every story that draws connections between fantastical fictional species and real world people are inherently bad. i dont really think theres any trope that i believe cant be handled well by anyone under any circumstance. the super easy fix to bad rep via monster or fantasy creature characters is basically just have actual humans who also represent those same identities and communities and experiences so that the audience isnt drawn to connect the traits of any one group with your fictional species.

the harder fix is to like seriously analyze why you want this character to be a monster and what that says about them and what that says about you and your own experiences and biases and what you actually want to communicate with the inclusion of this character. and when applicable hire a sensitivity reader. its kinda crazy how many pieces of media seem to prefer half-assing the hard way over just doing the easy thing and not assigning the status of token minority to a literal monster.

of course once again all of this is ya know circumstantial. im speaking to like my own experiences and the things ive observed. and its weird too! bc im also speaking as someone who like is trans and nonbinary and thinks of myself and my gender expression as inherently intertwined with monstrosity. and as someone who is autistic and thinks of myself as a changeling. and as someone who is a fat person who represents themself with a pig themed sona. if i talk abt cringeass hollywood blockbusters engaging in High Fantasy Racism i feel like to be fair i kinda have to talk about independent own-voices creators who write stories and make art about their own identities in the lovely language of monstrosity. theres not rly a way to draw a hard line around the former without the risk of catching some of the latter.

so umm as usual i dont rly have a snappy all encompassing answer for how i feel abt this kind of characterization. im simply too much of a Nuance Enjoyer. i do i guess think this is something that generally turns out better when it is someone making art about their own experiences, but also unless i believe minority artists are a monolith, which i dont, i need to accept that artists will inevitably make stuff that is beautiful and resonant to some people and totally repugnant and offensive to others, and that both of those responses can be like totally justified and correct. thats art babey!

anyway slight digression but i think any case where a character feels more like an allegory than a fully fleshed u know Character is gonna flop for me no matter how relatable it is. tbqh, id rather more ppl try and fail to make beautiful grotesque frightening sensually moving monsters out of their lived experiences and their empathetic connections with others than succeed at creating bland toothless universally approachable Good Rep tm. if u know u know. if u feel me u feel me. that is all.

[theoculus124]

Okay first of all just wanted to say... you're an incredible person and the way you stick up for your friends is awesome.

Second of all, I think I'm autistic.

I saw a post once, saying that it stars with relating to memes, then doing some more research, and I've figured out that some of the things I do and feel aren't the same as the things others would.

I didn't know what stimming was for a while, but I stim all the time, and I can recognise it now. I didn't know what sensory issues were, until I realised that most people don't hate water on their skin, and most people don't like things just for their weight on my hands. Most people aren't uncomfortable with dealing with others feelings, but cause of masking I've somehow become the therapist friends and have been mentally and emotionally exhausted because of it.

Sorry to dump this on you, but everything I do makes so much more sense now, even if I doubt I'll ever be diagnosed.

Also is stuff like this disrespectful, I always worry that I'm not rlly autistic and I'm just making it up and it's offensive to people who actually struggle with it.

Once again apologies for the dump, and thanks for reading all this if you did..

First of all, tysm I love each and every one of u so it upsets me alot when someone is mean to u guys cause ur all so lovely <333

you're not being disrespectful and welcome to the community <3 Always remember that self diagnosis is so valid cause of the bias against AFAB people and people of colour and the amount of money spent (like it's stupid amounts) -> to anyone else who's also reading this SELF DIAGNOSIS IS JUST AS VALID U ARE NOT LESS AUTISTIC U ARE APART OF THE ND FAMILY ALWAYS

Also no need to apologise at all and you can talk to me anytime

Icl I did have a suspicion you were one of us.. then again I feel like alot of the people who follow my tumblr is (Just like the gays us NDs find each other online and offline)

Also I know it's very hard but don't feel like you're a bad friend for setting boundaries (For example before I emotionally dump I just quickly ask "do u have the capacity to deal with this rn" and if they say yes I'll continue if no then I won't and let them rest) I know it's hard cause it feels like denying your friends but trust me you need to prioritise your mental health over anything <3

Also once you find out your autistic you'll find little things in your life which points to autism and it helps you understand yourself more it's crazy cause you're like "how did I never notice this" and terrifying at the same time, but you got this and we're all here for u no matter what <33

I hope this helps, and have a fantastic day and take all the self care u need <33

[punch-love]

I don’t know what you mean by para social relationships, could you expend on that?

Also, I would love to know what reason I think it could be before seeing what I wrote? I’m curious to know where ur headspace is at for it

But honestly, I just don’t know. I don’t know why I’m interested. It’s probably because I’m lonely and under a lot of stress? I recently moved out of the state for grad school and it’s super intense, and I’m probably just attaching my love for your work into interest on you? I also am naturally an inquisitive person so that is how I communicate w people I like talking to in my own life so it’s no different than how I normally am. You also are really honest, and I tend to enjoy talking to honest people? But u are the most difficult/challenging person that I have communicated w, I feel like in person maybe I set down peoples defenses or maybe I naturally will pull away who are just kinda difficult overall so maybe I’m just intrigued? But that wouldn’t make sense if I pull away from people who are that way then it wouldn’t be a contributing factor to why I am interested? So idk. (Is it offensive for me to theorize that possible assessment? Maybe ur just that way on here, I couldn’t make an assessment on the spectrum of how difficult it is to deal w u in real life. It feels offensive for me to say it or say I’m making or made that assessment. But maybe it’s because I would hate for someone to say im difficult, but I can’t imagine anyone that would like to read that about themselves, so there’s no way it wasn’t offensive? But I can’t ignore the fact that u are that way on here, but I also don’t know if that is a contributing factor or it’s just happenstance? But I def do get nervous every time I send a message out to u lol. I just never know what ur reaction is going to be lol) But then again why am I not doing it or interested in other spideypool writers, or anyone else in general? Could be doing the same w other people on tumblr but I’m not? I just don’t know. Feels like I’m psychoanalyzing myself. And you’ll prob hate at least one thing I’ve said on here, because I seem to be very repellent to u lol. But ya, I just don’t know.

Also, I’m totally gonna send u another message because I don’t want everyone reading that so if u want u can respond on that message? Unless u do really want my words out there, but I can’t imagine u would because again, I’m sure u hate something on there that I wrote lol

And I’ll prob think of more things too later to consider into the equation, but I do need to get back to studying

I think that you don't often experience pushback to this degree, and it irritates you as much as it engages you. I imagine you're used to people (especially on this site) being excited - if not overeager, to talk about themselves without boundaries. If you're a personality who is used to getting what they want in regard to your curiosity, finding someone who won't adjust their boundaries to feed your habit probably is surprising as it is challenging.

"You are the most difficult/challenging person I have ever communicated with" is such a high compliment. I know you personally struggle to see it as one, but I truly appreciate that perception. I always find it surprising when people enjoy my work but expect the person behind the difficult and challenging writing to be something of a pushover or, at the very least, overtly friendly with malleable boundaries. I don't think all writers reflect their work, but I think my personality is reflected well in what I produce. I think, as I said, you're used to people bending to your questioning because many people are easy to flatter into oversharing. I'm not driven by flattery or attention. I don't overshare about myself in my real life either, and I get very similar responses to that as I do online.

I think I've become something of a character in your mind - you've realized that there is something interesting in me and you, someone who enjoys excavating, thinks that you should be allowed to see what it is. You're not, and it upsets you. If I'm not a personality type that you normally engage, then likely you feel similar to me, as people do with reading about characters they wouldn't necessarily be friends with. I don't display traits you'd befriend, but they are traits you find interesting in, say, a book character and so, like a fictional personality, you are trying to learn more about me out of selfish interest.

It is interesting to me though that no matter how many times I try to establish a boundary around talking about myself, you are consistently looking for loopholes and then find me defensive. Do you think that if you ask the right question in the right way, then you will unlock the answers that I have purposefully made it hard for you to access? If I said, I won't answer personal questions two days ago - why would you ask me personal questions again? Did you think that my boundaries would change overnight, and because they didn't is that what you consider defensive behavior? I find your entitlement to my personality puzzling, but also, if you've always had people open to your natural curiosity, maybe it's not surprising that finding someone who isn't would make "cracking me open" so to speak a challenge you are interested in. The fact that you found the door shut on this blog, and then immediately sought for a new door on another, makes me think that you see this as a game. Did it not cross your mind that, perhaps, I really didn't want to talk about myself and that was okay?

It makes sense that you find defensiveness a negative trait. With the way you have tried to circumnavigate my boundaries, it feels like you think that everyone has a breaking point and if you just approach it from the right angle then you are given the answer you (for some reason) think you're owed. I don't consider myself a defensive person so much as a person with very firm, clear boundaries and a solid perception of myself that doesn't need the affirmation or attention of others to feed it. I don't need to tell you about myself, but you really want to know. It bothers you that I don't want to share, so you label me as a defensive instead of someone displaying a boundary.

You get nervous because you know I'm not going to lie to you and because I'm not going to lie to you I'm going to be honest about how your words affect me. If you're not used to that, it can be scary to see how you actually exist in the minds of other people. I'm not going to sugar coat my response, I'm not going to lie, and I'm not going to feel bad about it (even though, I do not seek to be mean/unkind to people online I just am not nice when people are being inconsiderate to me and my limits) I've noticed the less you share with others, the more they want to know about you. It's why people break into reclusive celebrity houses or internet stalk pretty girls who don't have Instagram. It's invasive, it's fucked up - sure - but if you think that other people's lives and experiences are something that you're owed - of course you're going to try it.

You're not the only follower I have that's upset and/or intrigued by my nature, so I am publishing this for that reason. I know you will read this is as rude and uncalled-for, but you have to remember - imagine setting up a boundary over five times and have someone still knock at the door. It's exhausting. I really love the questions you had about my writing/stories/characters, and wish you respected my desire to just only talk about it. You might take this messages as me never wanting to talk to you again - it's not - I just really, really, very literally - just want to talk about my writing. I don't know how many times I have to say that for people to take me seriously, but this is all I want to talk about.

I don't think you're a bad person, probably just someone with not a lot of experience with strong personalities or firm boundaries. I respect that, but I really wish you would respect me too.