#he probably wants thirty children anyway

[caressthosecheekbones]

met a guy tonight with the most best interior design taste, tall, blond curls, gorgeous eyes and hands. and single. and nothing came of it.

[triflesandparsnips]

So I understand that there are Good Omens show fans who have never read Good Omens the book, and that makes me deeply sad because--

Like, there's so much depth to the story being told about humans and humanity and the choice between good and evil -- and how that's actually a false dichotomy whoooops -- WHILE ALSO not really being about Aziraphale and Crowley at all (who are, imo, basically there as embodiments of "Impressive Failures" for the purposes of Theme and also Plot).

BUT IF you want to know why I've shipped them since the book-- here's the moment it happened for wee teenage me:

Wednesday (before the end of the world)

So it's Warlock's birthday party. And there are all these children and security guards and also an angel doing magic tricks while a demon is disguised as a caterer. This bit is basically the same as the show, so hooray.

But as wee me understood the characters up to this point, they were still basically enemies who had been in the field together for way too long and knew each other's moves well enough for the same tempting/thwarting of one another to become kind of boring and repetitive and generally pointless-- particularly once they realized that they could, for instance, just live their (separate!) lives watching humans being weird (Crowley) and seeking various sensory stuff (Aziraphale) while doing the least work necessary to keep their respective bosses off their backs.

The Arrangement was borne not out of hiding a friendship or anything, but instead the realization that sometimes covering for one another would just... cut down on their total overall workload. They were, at best, employees of two different, competitive companies-- though in same kind of department, doing the same kind of work-- who discovered they liked to have lunch at the same deli and that their jobs were sometimes distressingly more similar than either was comfortable with.

SO ANYWAY. BACK TO THAT WEDNESDAY. They're not covering for one another with this whole Antichrist thing-- they're now actively collaborating, and they've acknowledged (mostly) that it's not to cut down on their individual workloads, but rather to preserve their identical-- but not shared (not yet)-- goals of Getting To Continue The Lives On Earth They've Grown To Enjoy.

But like-- still not friends. Not really.

Until Aziraphale fucks up a bit, Warlock accidentally gets hold of a security guard's weapon and starts waving it around, and:

Then someone threw some jelly at Warlock. The boy squeaked, and pulled the trigger of the gun. It was a Magnum .32, CIA issue, gray, mean, heavy, capable of blowing a man away at thirty paces, and leaving nothing more than a red mist, a ghastly mess, and a certain amount of paperwork. Aziraphale blinked. A thin stream of water squirted from the nozzle and soaked Crowley, who had been looking out the window, trying to see if there was a huge black dog in the garden. Aziraphale looked embarrassed. Then a cream cake hit him in the face.

My teenage brain exploded at this moment.

BECAUSE: there is no reason for Aziraphale to do that.

Work-wise: If he got shot, Crowley would get discorporated, but not die-- and anyway, it would happen in such a way that both of them could explain it away easily to their respective sides (and possibly even be commended for it!).

Collaboration-wise: If Crowley had been watching Aziraphale, and if he'd seen Aziraphale have the chance to change the gun but not do it-- then yeah, probably that would've been annoying enough to have warranted some chilly conversations once he came back topside, and therefore, Aziraphale choosing to save Crowley could've been a reasonable, logical choice to keep their working relationship on an even keel until they'd sorted out this Doomsday thing.

But Crowley was looking the other way.

Work-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and secret-collaboration-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and so it is, overall, really weird that Aziraphale saved him.

But his automatic reaction-- in a blink-- is to stop Crowley from getting shot. And he knows it's weird-- he feels embarrassed that his sudden, unthinking reaction is to save his "enemy".

And the final bit is just a couple paragraphs later:

With a gesture, Aziraphale turned the rest of the guns into water pistols as well, and walked out.

SO LOOK: He changed only the pistol about to shoot Crowley. His automatic reaction had nothing to do with saving a party full of humans, many of them children-- nothing to do with Heaven or Hell-- nothing to do with preserving the coworker he needs to stop Armageddon--

It was all to do with saving Crowley. Who may be the enemy, but he's Aziraphale's enemy. And another part of his life on Earth that he's doing all of this just to preserve.

Which may also be, for the first time, the moment he lets himself realize how important Crowley in particular is to him.

...and so anyway, that's how I started shipping these two immortal idiots, and one of many reasons why everyone should read the book.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

How You Turn My World; Chapter 1

Your day started with chaos, and my dear, it looks like it will continue to be chaos. But only time will tell. The Underground holds many surprises in store for you.

Characters; Grim, Lilia Vanrouge, Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola

Content; Gender-neutral reader, cat shenanigans, building the plot

Content Warnings; Swearing, illusion to marijuana but there is none

Word Count; 4.6 K

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |

Don't put my work into AI; I'll make sure you go to the Underground and don't return. Mwah mwah, kisses~

Ah, the joys of cat parenthood. Days spent cuddling your little bundle of furry joy. That’s what your friends preached. That having a feline roommate was easy and rewarding. That you would benefit by having a cute and fuzzy companion that didn’t demand much of anything. That you would love your little kitty friend like a child. Well, either your friends were liars with questionable senses of humour, or you drew the short stick when it came to choosing a furry companion. And there’s always the possibility of it being both, what with having Ace as a friend and all, but you just hoped it was just your shit luck and not that you had shit friends.

Seriously, though, what higher power did you manage to piss off to deserve the royal hobgoblin of a cat you have? He has shit and pissed in your plants on several occasions. Demolished every single curtain he laid eyes on like he had a personal vendetta against them. Stole your breakfast off your plate right as you were about to take a bite. Puked on your last pair of good white shoes, which still had stains on them because they wouldn’t come out. The cherry on top of it all though was that he insists on yowling and crying in the middle of the damn night for no good reason. Rudely awaking you from the dead of sleep because he demanded attention. With how loud he was, you were surprised that you hadn’t gotten a noise complaint from any of your neighbours… yet. But then again, you could hear the upstairs neighbours’ children screaming bloody murder every so often — what were their names, the Clovers? They were probably so used to it that they threw you a bone, or they didn’t want extra grey hairs from filing a complaint to the landlord. So maybe Grim wasn’t all that bad, but he was still a gremlin child. 

“MROWWWWWW!!!!!” Ah, so tonight was no different then. Grim had decided that you needed to be woken up before even the birds started to sing, needed to be yanked out of the land of dreams. That whatever had caught the attention of his singular brain cell was more important than you recharging so you don’t accidentally say the wrong thing to your boss. Since last time you had slipped up and called him dad, even though no one in their right mind would leave him alone with a rutabaga unattended, and he went on a two-hour long monologue about how much of a kind and generous person he was for you to see him as a father figure. And your salary wasn’t high enough, nor would it ever be, to deal with his eccentric and maddening behaviour.

Maybe, just maybe, if you ignored him and stared at the ceiling long enough he would stop his caterwauling and go to sleep. “MROWWWW!!!!!” Apparently not.

Just one night, ONE NIGHT, of peace and quiet. PLEASE. But you knew that if you didn’t get up soon, he would get up on the bed and put his fluffy butt in your face… like he did last night and the night before that. Sighing, you begrudgingly got out of your cocoon of warm, fluffy, blankets, and hoped you would soon be back in them after dealing with Grim. Hopefully, he was just complaining about his food bowl not being as full as he would like it.

What was the time anyways? Three-thirty in the morning? Ugh, Grim! What did Ace say about it, ah, yes, “Primetime witching hour. Demons and all sorts of creepies” yada yada yada. But you didn’t pay any mind to him, as his annoying smug look would taunt you in your mind even though he was probably sound asleep, blissfully asleep. Something that you wanted to be doing, but woefully you were not.

Stepping out into the main living space, you shot the grey fuzzball the stink eye. “What the hell do you want? You absolute gremlin!” You hissed through gritted teeth, very much annoyed with your brat of a fur child and wanting nothing more than to crawl back to bed, hell, even the loveseat would suffice.  

The offending feline just trilled at you in response, and his tail vibrated, happy that you had come out to see him. How is he so cute but so annoying? He rubbed against your legs before trotting off to one of his hidey holes, which also served as his nest of your stolen socks. He has a weird obsession with socks. But he popped back out, holding something in his mouth. Something small and fuzzy that didn’t look like any of his toys.

“Prowwww,” he dropped it at your feet as if saying that catching whatever it was, was the equivalent to paying his share of rent. Which, it was very much not.

You closed your eyes and pinched your brow. Please be one of his toys. PLEASE be one of his toys. You chanted to yourself in your mind and then opened your eyes. Unfortunately, it was not one of his toys. The small, fuzzy thing in question seemed to be a mouse or some other kind of rodent. It was too late (too early?) for this, and quite frankly you didn’t have the brain power to confirm whatever the hell it was. All you knew was that it looked like a mouse, therefore it was a mouse.

“Is this what you’ve been screaming about this whole time? A mouse,” you sighed. Shaking your head, you went to the bathroom, grabbing some paper towel so you could at least put it outside for something else to eat, or go back to nature in some other way. It was better than just being left to decompose in the communal garbage bin. When you came back out though, it was nowhere to be seen. Now, either Grim decided to eat it like a good kitty cat, or, with your luck, it was still alive and was now running amuck in your apartment.

Grim’s chattering was coming from the kitchen now, and he was up on top of the fridge. It was running amuck in your apartment, how lovely.

“Why, why, are you like this?! Get down from there!” You really didn’t have the energy for this.

Grim just blinked at you before his eyes dilated. He leapt down from his perch on the fridge and was pawing at a corner by the window. Looking down and you couldn’t make out anything on the floor. But you had the oh-so-brilliant idea to look up toward the ceiling. The ‘mouse’ was very much alive, and wasn’t a mouse at all, since it was flying around and banging itself against the corner.

“YOU CAUGHT A FUCKING BAT?!”

He had indeed caught a fucking bat. And bats were normally fine, when they were outside. Not when they’re flying around your apartment at three o’clock in the morning and your cat is losing his goddamn mind trying to catch it. So no, this was very much not fine. 

The bat was about as pleased as you were with this whole situation and kept on flinging itself against the glass of the window, desperately trying to get back outside. How the hell did it get inside in the first place? That could be pondered on upon at a later time, as the first priority was getting it back outside.

“Don’t fly towards my head, bat. I’m just trying to get you back outside. You’re a nice bat, right? Nice bat, nice bat,” you whispered in a non-threatening tone. Could the flying mammal understand what you were saying? Mostly likely not. Hopefully it understood that you, unlike your cat, were trying to help and did not want some fresh bat as your late night snack tonight.

After what felt like forever fuddling with the window to open with a broom in hand, just in case the bat decided to dive bomb your head, you finally got the cursed thing open. 

Grabbing Grim, who was still trying to catch the bat for a second time tonight, you got back to your bedroom and locked the door shut. You hoped that the bat would take the hint that it now had a path to freedom, but only time, and a bit of sleep, would tell. Slumping against the door frame, you sighed and looked over at Grim. He was playing with the door stop, the boing, boingg, boinggg sounds filling in the quiet. Whether it was to amuse himself, or to annoy you was a fifty-fifty bet.

Just as you were about to crawl back under the covers a string of anxiety connected in your head. Shit, did Grim get bit? DAMMIT GRIM! After leaving a somewhat desperate and tired call to your vet’s voicemail, alongside an apology for the late call (early call?), you peeked outside to see if the bat was still flying around. According to Google, the bat should be tested for rabies. You did not trust your no brain cell having fluff ball to know better than to get bit by a possibly rabid bat. But it was gone, so yet again, you were out of luck.

You had enough with today, even though it had just really begun. Pulling up the covers, you sighed in the dark warmth of your blanket cocoon. Grim was busying himself by trying to pounce on your feet, but you ignored him, falling back to sleep and hoping that the rest of your day wouldn’t bring any more shenanigans, migraines, or small flying mammals.

…

…

…

By some miracle, you managed to get Grim to the vet the very same day. Your boss agreed to let you work from home because he is ever so kind and generous… It did help that one of the other higher-ups nearly nagged off his ear upon hearing about the condition of your cat. Even through the phone you could hear it, and could only imagine the spectacle it must have been. Oh well, you had the day off and that is what mattered… but you would be lying if you said that you didn’t cough out a laugh just imagining the scene on the other side of the phone.

You were relieved, Grim on the other hand was not having it. To be fair, you did trick him into his crate with some tuna. He made his disdain known to all though by crying the entire way there. You almost felt bad for him, almost being the key word. 

“You have no one to blame for this but yourself, ya know.” You huffed at him, feeling your shit sleep all too well. “Crying about it won’t help you any.”

Grim let out a pathetic little mew. His little, bright, blue eyes being the only visible part of him, which peered out miserably from the crate. Caving to the kitty manipulation, you poked your finger in as a peace offering. Grim booped his nose to your finger and then proceeded to nibble on it; such a vicious beast.

The vet visit went as well as you could hope it could, as Grim only tried to maim the vet a few times. Hey, it was an improvement from last time, as he had actually peed on them. So yes, trying to maim was vastly better than seeing your figurative child pee on the doctor. You’re pretty sure your vet didn’t go through years of schooling and thousands of dollars into debt just to get peed on by your unruly cat. But Grim was won over by the offering of that cat gogurt, his nose and stomach betraying him. Note to self, stock up on some of that stuff.

The rest of the visit went on without a hitch; he had some blood drawn, got his booster shot for rabies, and even managed to squeeze in a bonus nail trim. There was no evidence of any bite or puncture marks, so Grim by some miracle, did indeed have enough brain cells not to get bit.

“Grim will have to be watched for about forty-five days,” the vet hummed, checking Grim’s chart. “Since you don’t have any other animals it shouldn’t be too difficult to keep him in quarantine. If you see any symptoms be sure to bring him back, just in case.” They gave you a tired smile, and then turned that smile towards their cantankerous patient. “And thank you for deciding not to pee on me this time, Grim. I’m not so bad, see?”

Grim swatted at them, which was his answer to the vet’s question. In Grim’s book, the vet was that bad.

Ignoring his attitude, as you would whenever you came across a screaming toddler and exhausted parent while doing your grocery run, you turned back to your vet. “Thank you, and sorry for Grim. If it makes you feel any better, he’s just as much as a gremlin child at home as well.” At least today went better than last time.

The vet chuckled goodheartedly, “Don’t worry about it, I have more unruly patients than little Grim here.”

Damn, they have seen some shit, haven’t they? … Maybe I should, I don’t know, bring them a gift basket next time I’m in? Or maybe a gift card for a spa day or something??? You should really get them something for the amount of dry cleaning they probably needed to do.

With the visit over, and Grim having a clear bill of health, you shoved him back into his carrier with zero decorum, closing the door as fast as possible before he could escape and try to hide behind the counter like he did last time. I know your tricks, cat. Speaking of bills, the one that was waiting for you at the front desk was enough for you to point an icy glare at your unruly ward.

“You’re lucky that I love you, asshole.” And much like the vet you too got a swat as your thank you. Wonder if this is what the Clovers feel about their children? At least their kids didn’t wake them up in the middle of the night with a bat they caught… You shook your head, moving past those thoughts, and hauled your wailing cat back home.

…

...

By the time you got back to your place, it was just a little past noon. The rest of your day was wide open, and you didn’t really have anything else to do, since taking Grim to the vet was the most urgent of your tasks. Your place could benefit from some tidying, since your boss had recently been demanding more as of late and has been even less useful than he usually was… which was saying something. Seriously, how does he have his position? It was baffling. You swore you could hear his monologue playing on loop in your head whenever you thought of the man, which you tried to keep to a minimum for your own sanity… whatever little of it still remained that is.

Shaking your head to rid the annoying voice, you put on your favourite playlist and got to work. You took your time, putting away the dishes, vacuumed the main room, and even got rid of the dust on the high shelves. But your place was small, so it didn’t take very long for you to tidy up, and deep cleaning could wait for another day when you had enough energy to mentally and physically deal with that undertaking.

You knew that your email probably had a few messages, but it could wait. You weren’t on the clock and therefore didn’t have to check it. Only do the stuff you’re required to do when you get paid, it makes your downtime way more enjoyable.

But, you were bored. The cleaning helped with it, but with the majority of it done and the more intense stuff waiting for another day, you had nothing else to do. And while doom scrolling through social media may fill in the time, it too, was boring, predictable.

… There were two people though who were the exact opposite of boring and predictable. And yes, they did give you your fair share of migraines and questioning your life decisions more than you usually do, they were your best friends. And you were in need of having a movie night with them.

Opening up the group chat, you typed in a message.

| The Responsible One | You guys down for a movie night at my place tonight?

And almost immediately, Ace replied.

| Ginger, derogatory | depends  | ya got fiid?

Deuce responded shortly after.

| Mama’s Boi | Yeah, I’m down | What time? | . . . | And what’s fiid?

|The Responsible One | How does 6 sound?

| Ginger, derogatory | IT WAS A TYOP | *TYPO | I MEANT FOOD | F O O D

| Mama’s Boi | 6 works for me

| The Responsible One | I took a screenshot of that btw love you Ace | Thanks Deuce for actually giving me an answer. | What FIID do you guys want?

| Ginger, derogatory | FUCK YOU | … but yeah 6 works 4 me | any is cool with me

| The Responsible One | Yes yes, fuck you too Ace | Bring your own snacks it is then | See you guys at 6!

That gave you about ninety minutes to hide your good snacks, since the last time, Ace had made himself too comfortable and ate all your fancy treats that you paid way too much for. But like they say, you deserve to ‘treat yoself’ … Ace still owed you for those snacks though. They were fucking expensive, prick.

…

Ninety minutes didn’t take very long, but you managed to hide some of the mess that you hadn’t tackled in your bedroom; it could stand to wait. And the first of your dork friends arrived right on time, count on Deuce trying to be punctual… even if he was panting like he had run a marathon to make it.

“You know,” you sighed, “you didn’t have to sprint here.” You grabbed a glass, filled it with some ice water, and handed it over to your flushed and heaving friend. Please don’t pass out on me. “It’s not a race.”

Deuce took the glass and downed it, still catching his breath. He lifted up the tote bag he was carrying, “Mom made brownies.” A series of coughs escaped him, but he gave you a bashful smile and showed off the multiple Tupperware containers filled to the brim with still warm chocolatey divineness. “Didn’t want them to get cold! Oh! She also made extra for you too!”

He is such a sweetheart… but he’s also pretty dense at times, still a sweetie though. You could have just warmed them back up in the microwave — yes, they weren’t the same as fresh from the oven, but still — you didn’t have the heart to tell Deuce that though. He looked so proud that he made it on time and that the brownies were still warm. What did you do to deserve Deuce as a friend? 

“Also,” he fished around the tote bag, “I brought extra popcorn, since we ate all of yours last time.” And he pulled out an unopened bag of popcorn, the bashful smile turning bright.

Deuce took a step forward, but stopped and backpedalled, taking off his shoes. After he set them neatly by the door, he made his way to the kitchen, and set all of his assorted belongings on the meagre counter space. Once he unloaded the tasty cargo, he made his way over to your loveseat, which had seen better days, and sat down, getting comfortable.

He was looking at you, and there was a little crease in between his eyebrows. Deuce only wore that look when he was worried. “Are you feeling okay? You seem a bit… off.” 

You gave him a tired smile, “Meh. Tired, stressed, not enough money. You know, the usual.” You noticed that his frown was only deepening, so you took a seat next to him and patted his shoulder. “Seriously, Deuce, I’m okay. Plus you got enough on your own plate without worrying about me. I’m going to be fine.”

Deuce pursed his lips, but let out a long sigh, accepting your answer without much fuss. You were capable of dealing with whatever it was, he knew that. You were one of the most capable, and stubborn, people that he knew. You would be fine in the end. “Whose turn is it to pick the movie this time?” He asked, stretching out, trying not to bump into you.

“Hmm, your turn actually,” you hummed. “But–”

Bzz! Bzzz! BZZZ! Someone was buzzing your door, repeatedly pushing at the button. Only one person you know did that. BZZZZZZZZ! And he wouldn’t let up until you answered the door.

Groaning, you got out of your spot and peaked through the peephole. On the other side was none other than Ace, who’s leg was bouncing and he kept on pushing your damn buzzer.

You only opened the door when he decided to lean on it, making him almost fall… almost. Maybe next time would be the day where you would see him eat dirt. “Happy you could join us on this lovely evening,” you drawl, doing a little bow.

Ace rolled his eyes at you, “Seriously? Feeling petty tonight I see.” He too took off his shoes, since the last time he wore them in and tracked in mud from outside, you made him clean it up. He learned his lesson that day, and really didn’t feel like cleaning your floor again.

You smiled at him, “Yeah, yeah I am~” You dropped the smile and went back to your comfy spot beside Deuce. “Also,” you turned around right as Ace was about to plunder your fridge. You glared at him, and he backed off, giving you a sheepish look. “Don’t even think about stealing my food, there’s popcorn and you have food at your home. Unless you want to start paying for my groceries, stick to what’s on the counter.”

Closing the fridge, Ace busied himself by making himself some popcorn, and sneaking a brownie or two in his mouth as he waited for the microwave to finish making his treat. While he was busy in the kitchen, you and Deuce were slowly going through the seemingly endless catalogue of movies. 

“What are we even watching tonight? There’s no special occasion,” Ace mused, sitting on the counter, swinging his legs back and forth. “Action? Horror? Sci-fi? Perhaps,” he paused and made a kissy face, “romance?~”

You stared at him, until he dropped the kissy face. “Never do that again,” you deadpanned, turning back to the screen. “Found something?”

Deuce was hovering over a title, Labyrinth. “Can we watch this? Mom said it was one of her favourites when she was a kid.”

Ace plopped into the armchair, and started chowing down on his fresh popcorn. “Dude, your mom probs just had the hots for, uhhh, Jared? Or whatever his name is.”

You threw a pillow at him, but missed unfortunately, and Ace flipped you off. “First off, Ace, his name is Jareth not Jared. And yeah, we can watch it,” you said, stretching back and getting into prime comfortable blob position. Oh yeah, you weren’t getting back up. 

Once Deuce got up and brought some snacks back in, you started the movie. And damn, these brownies are divine. You really needed to ask Ms. Spade for her recipe. The popcorn was decent, overall meh, but the brownies! THE BROWNIES!!!

You all settled down after being rationed your snacks, and you pressed play. Ace and Deuce both nearly choked on popcorn when Jareth appeared.

“WHY ARE HIS PANTS SO TIGHT?!” They both choked in unison. 

You just rolled your eyes and ignored them, trying to focus on the movie. Other than you nearly having to do the Heimlich manoeuvre on the both of them, the movie continued without incident, until a certain gremlin decided to start crying right as Magic Dance began playing. Seriously Grim, must you choose the most inopportune time to act like Toby does in the movie? But that’s life with a cat.

You paused the movie and looked at Deuce. You were in prime comfortable blob mode, you weren’t getting up. Deuce patted you on the shoulder and went to go see what on Earth Grim was screaming about. Ace just continued to scarf back brownies, thank goodness you hid some away before he got here, or else you wouldn’t have any come tomorrow.

But Deuce came running back out of your room, since that was where Grim was. And you were about to question why he looked like he’d just seen a ghost when something blurred right past him; something small, fuzzy, and flying.

The damn bat is back?! Yeah, you definitely felt like you were cursed.

Now, you could either get up and deal with the bat, since Deuce was just trying to shoo it outside the window with a mop and Ace was screaming much like Grim was, or you could stay warm and comfy and hide under the blanket, pretending that this wasn’t your waking reality…

Option B was really tempting right now, to be honest. Sighing, you got up, massaged your temples to collect yourself, before arming yourself with a broom yet again. Grim has his rabies vaccine, you don’t, so you weren’t taking any chances.

“WHY IS THERE A BAT IN YOUR APARTMENT?!” Ace hissed, ducking as the bat swooped near him.

You opened the window right open, almost threatening to take it off its bearings, “Because the universe hates me, that’s why!” Was it dramatic? Yes. Did it contain a seed of truth? Yes. So that’s what you went with. Was it really an exaggeration though? In the past twenty-four hours it really felt like the universe was sending you a personal ‘Fuck You ♡ ' letter with a kiss mark on the envelope.

You and Deuce tried to work together as a team to coax the bat outside. Come on, the window is wide open. Come on bat, get your fuzzy ass out of my place. 

All that was happening though, was some scene that belonged in a Three Stooges act. With Ace and Grim screeching — yes they counted as one collective unit — Deuce trying his best, but not getting anywhere, and you feeling like you were about to explode from the stress and noise. Even on an impromptu day off, you didn’t get a break, not really.

Getting whisked away by the Goblin King is looking real appealing right now. The bat swooped down close to you, and your instincts kicked in and you swung at it, making it crash land into your coffee table, right into the popcorn. And alongside the popcorn getting spilled everywhere, there was also a poof of green sparkles.

When the green sparkles subsided, there was a strange person with long black hair and red streaks, wearing something that looked straight out of a Ren Faire, and he was standing on your table. The strange man looked straight at you, and you looked back, blinking fast. Did Ms. Spade give us a different kind of brownie? Or is this actually happening?

He snapped his fingers, and you watched as he slowly disappeared into another poof of green sparkles. You were backing up, since hey there was a stranger in your place out of nowhere, but thanks to your shit luck, you tripped over your own feet, tumbling into them. And as the green poof subsided, both you, and the stranger, were nowhere to be seen. Leaving a very confused Ace, Deuce, and Grim to wonder what the hell happened to you.

And honestly? You were thinking the same. Where the FUCK am I?!

...

...

...

...

Tags; @busycloudy, @eynnwwyjth, @identity-theft-101, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @ryker-writes, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii

~~~~~~~

Author's Note; And I'm finally showing this to the world, after months of collecting dust in my Google Docs. I have no idea how long this fic will go on for, and the length may be dictated by how much feedback and interaction this gets, so yeah. General rating for this is Teen but might change in the future; I won't tag people if that happens though, cuz, yeah.

If you enjoyed this story, and want to read more of my stuff while I slowly work on more installments to this fic, check out my masterlist! Please ignore any spelling mistakes, I write and die with no beta.

[reiderwriter]

hi i love your writing

could you do something with reid loving that reader is pregnant. fluff or smut or both

A/N Hello! Thanks for the request! Dad!Spencer is the cutest thing on the planet so this is some unapologetic fluff. And now I have baby fever.

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, idiots in love. Loosely based on Haley and Hotch's conversation in 1x1. Very fluffy and probably very cheesy and sentimental too... Sorry, you give me girl dad Spencer and suddenly there isn't an impure thought in my head, I just want to lovingly stare at him like I'm the dead wife in an action movie montage.

My requests are open, check out my masterlist for more 🌸

“Okay, what about Amelia?”

“No, Amelia Dyer, Victorian serial killer. She killed multiple infants over a thirty-year period.”

“Okay, okay, how about, Myra?”

“Myra Hindley, she and her partner Ian Brady abducted and killed five children and teens in the early sixties.”

“God, not that then. There can’t be a psychopathic murderer called Belle, right?”

“You’re making this too easy for me, y’know. Belle Gunness, Hell’s Belle, she’s one of the most prolific female serial killers of all time, even 100 years after her supposed death. It’s fascinating, you know, people think that she actually faked her death - when the doctor who performed the postmortem testified, he noted that the cadaver was about five inches shorter and about fifty pounds lighter than Gunness supposedly was….” You raise a single eyebrow at your wonderful husband, and he immediately shuts up.

“I’m rambling aren’t I?” He smiled down at you as you sat curled up as much as you could in your favorite spot on the couch, the cosiest part of your shared apartment. You smiled back up at him as he leaned down for a kiss and you gladly craned your neck up in response, meeting his lips for a sweet moment.

“Hotch was right you know,” you joked when the two of you parted. “All of the best baby names have been taken by serial killers.”

“Yeah, you’d think with the ratio of female to male serial killers, a girl would be easier to name.” He leans down to kiss you again before falling into a crouch next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and placing his hand on your stomach.

“How big did you say our little girl is now?”

“Y/N, you asked me that half an hour ago. I know pregnancy messes with your brain a bit, but if you’re that bad we’re going to have to get you back to Dr Patel and see if you’re doing okay.” He was joking of course, but you showed him your little pout anyway, knowing that he loved seeing the silly expression on your face.

“Humor me, Doctor.” He strokes your stomach and moves away, but not too far away, taking up right next to you on the couch, and pulling your legs over his lap.

“At five months, she’s roughly 10 inches long with a weight of about 0.5-1 pound. But that ‘How Big is My Baby’ book would say that she’s roughly one banana in length.” You giggled up at him and he grabbed your hand and just held it, content to have you in his arms in any way, big or small.

“I can’t believe it’s been five months already,” you giggle as he presses another kiss to your hand.

“I get it. It doesn’t feel quite real yet to me, either. I thought for so long that fatherhood just wasn’t in my future, but you’re the gift that keeps on giving I guess. I don't know what I did to deserve you.” Even if the words weren’t so sweet, with all of the hormones, you would’ve started crying at anything. Or at least that’s what you’re going to tell him when he sees the small tears threatening to drop into enormous loving sobs.

“Spencer Reid, I am not a gift. I am simply the woman with the correct combination of sense and foolish luck that got to marry you.” He’d done this before, and you were used to his small habit of self-deprecating talk, but after a year of marriage and three years of dating before that, you’d managed to work him down to the occasional comment.

“Don’t try to argue about this, I’m definitely the one benefitting the most from the situation right now,” he joked with you, and you could see the genuine adoration shining from behind his eyes. It was a little spark that not many got to see, a glimpse of true happiness in someone usually so reserved.

“Spencer, you’ve given me foot rubs everyday this week, you’ve read more pregnancy and parenting books than every OBGYN and midwife in the area combined, and you’ve somehow attended more of my clinical check-ups than me, and I’m the one whose pregnant.”

“And you’re growing our child inside of you, which is itself more impressive than anything I could ever do with a book and some modern acts of chivalry.”

“Yeah, tell your boss that. I think the only thing keeping Emily from pulling her hair out over your constant absences is that she thinks she’s competing for the title of godmother. She thinks Penelope and JJ are trying to corrupt me with parenting advice and all those baby clothes Pen keeps bringing over.”

“She’s going to be crushed when she remembers we’re not religious, right?”

“Devastated,” the two of you shared a laugh on the couch, and it quickly devolved into a giggle fit after Spencer leaned over and tickled your side. You jolted away from his touch, but he was on you again, attacking your sides with small caresses, and you were gasping for breath between laughs.

“Spence stop- ahh!” Your squeals stopped as you cried out in shock. It was small but you felt something tap against your stomach. Spencer stopped immediately upon seeing your expression change, and a serious look settled on him as he assessed you for any damage.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you in pain anywhere, is the baby okay?” He shot out the questions rapidly, one after the other, barely leaving space to catch his own breath from the laughter of earlier.

It happened again and you put a hand to your stomach, finally realising what’s going on.

“I think I just felt her kick. Spencer, I think I just felt the baby kick.” You couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across your face, as much as you couldn’t help the tear that dropped from your eye as your hand rested against your belly again, scared to move for fear that the baby wouldn’t communicate with you again.

“What? Now? Can I- Can I try and feel it, too?” His hands hesitated at first but when you enthusiastically nodded and used your other hand to put him close to yours, you could feel his eagerness to feel the small kicks of your daughter as well.

Almost as if she was waiting for him, as soon as his hand was in the right position, your little girl kicked again, almost as if screaming “I’m here mommy and daddy,” for the two of you to hear.

“I think she’s trying to tell us not to have fun without her,” Reid whispered in your ear, kissing your tear streaked cheek, and using his free hand to rub them away from the other side of your face.

“I am so thankful everyday for this gift you have given me. And for the record, the gift isn’t the baby. The gift is the overwhelming happiness you bring to my life, and the beauty you make me see in this world. The fact that you’re going to be the mother of my child gives me the confidence to get up and go to work every morning because I know that there is joy and there is kindness and there are beautiful people in this world, and you are one, and she will be, too.”

His attempts to dry your tears are now completely vanquished as you let your emotions run wild, but you almost laugh when you realise that his eyes are just as glassy as yours, and you both sit there, overwhelmed by the pure, unadulterated joy that a small kick from a child who has yet to be given a name has bought you.

[alexanderwales]

My Very Brief Time as a Korean Rice Farmer

When my wife had been working at her company for ten years, her boss offered her a two week trip anywhere in the world she wanted to go. It was a small company, maybe thirty people, and she'd been one of the first employees, when they were even smaller.

We had wanted to go to Japan, but this was 2022, and they were still closed for COVID when we were making the plans. We decided on South Korea instead, which was my personal preference over Japan anyway (kimchi and k-dramas and the Joseon era!). I used Duolingo to learn Hangul (the script) and not all that much actual Korean.

We went to Changdeok Palace early in the morning on our second day in Seoul, getting there just before it opened. It's a huge place that's right in the city, surrounded, as most things in Seoul are, by other buildings. The Palace is actually a number of buildings built by a number of kings from the Joseon era.

Right when we came in, we were quickly approached by a guy in a blue hanbok. "Hanbok" is a word that means "traditional clothing" or something like that, so it's not actually descriptive, but it was powder blue and looked fancy. He had glasses and a slightly uneasy smile on his face, and approached us from far enough away that I had time to wonder if he was approaching us, and if he was, what he wanted.

"Excuse me, how long were you going to be here today?" he asked.

"We don't have plans," my wife said. "We were going to be here all day, long enough to see everything."

"Would you like to participate in a festival?" he asked.

We looked at each other and told him sure, and then followed him as he talked. (We passed a group of thirty children who had just been admitted with their teacher, and they seemed excited to see foreigners, so they kept yelling "Hello!" to us, which was probably the only English they knew. We waved and said "annyeonghaseyo!" back to them.)

What I thought was going on at this point was that we were getting upsold on something. I figured that we were going to see something special and extra, and then get charged for it. Whatever, we were on vacation, I was fine with that. We hadn't been in Korean long, and I thought "maybe they just station guys like this by the gate to rope people in". It was weird, but we were in a place where we didn't understand all the customs or speak the language, and my policy had been "just roll with it".

I did think it was weird that we were hoofing it across the palaces, and thought it was more weird when we went past a gate and into a place where no one else was apparently allowed. Our guide spoke good English, but when he'd been talking it had always been "the festival" or "the event" and "you'll be there most of the day" and "we'll make sure you have what you need". We were not clear on what was going on.

He mentioned that there would be a rice harvest, which I thought was weird since we were in a historical park in the middle of Seoul.

He told us that he'd give us a tour, because there wouldn't be time later, so he guided us through the Joseon-era gardens and temples. There was no one around, because that part of the grounds wasn't open until later in the day, so we got to see everything and ask whatever questions we wanted to ask, which has got to be the best possible way to experience a place. I was mostly struck by how much work it must have taken to make all this stuff and had lots of "down with the monarchy" feelings. There's a huge pond that's in the shape of the Korean peninsula, and god damn must that have taken a ton of time without a backhoe.

We were eventually taken a small place where they were setting things up, with a bunch of people milling about, and it was only then that we saw the rice: a small plot of it, no more than twenty feet to a side.

The rice was, in historical times, planted there so the king would have some understanding of what the crop yields would be like, since rice was the lifeblood of the country. It was harvested and inspected and whatnot to get some sense of the agriculture of the country, because anything that happened to the rice in these conditions was probably happening to rice all over the kingdom.

This rice harvest wasn't something that they just do with tourists every now and then, it only happens on this single day in the entire year, and me and my wife were two of the five people who would be doing it. The other three were all Korean government people of some kind.

They took us to a building and got us changed in our hanbok. "Hanbok" means "traditional clothes", and usually is associated with a nice and historical outfit, like someone in England dressing up in Regency era clothing. Here, it just meant "traditional farmer clothes".

Problem: I am six feet tall, which is quite tall for a Korean.

This woman was trying to dress me, and both because I was a bit overweight and quite tall, it was just not going well. My wife thought it was hilarious.

The other part of the kit was some orange rubber boots, which were not traditional but did prevent us from getting covered in mud. This is the most that I have ever looked like a goose.

When they were ready for us, we were handed tools to cut the rice. The ideal motion was to grab it around the base, move the hand up, then cut at the bottom. I am pretty sure that the thing we were handed was a sickle.

We got warned five or six times that they were extremely sharp, meant for slicing through the stalks of grain, and because there was a bit of a language barrier, the guy handing them to us kept nodding as he tried to make sure we understood that there was no small amount of danger.

My wife, five seconds after being handed her sickle, lunged at me with a "Hiya!" like she meant to stab me in the stomach. I jumped, five or six Koreans around us jumped, and my wife laughed and laughed. (My wife is great.)

When the photographers got there, we went into the muck and began harvesting. There were what felt like fifty photographers taking pictures of us while very loud drums played a traditional song and some people danced around us. We preened in front of the cameras, trying to take direction as best we could, and tossing the harvested rice off to the side so that two men with giant hammers could pound on it and make it into something like mochi (I think called tteok, but there was a lot of Korean happening).

After the photographers had gone, we had a little break, then were made to harvest rice in front of a group of Korean people, most of whom were, I think, either government functionaries or personalities or something. The drums were going again, I was sweating in my hanbok, and left hoping that my glasses wouldn't fall into the mud.

A third rice harvest was done for tourists, and the drums started up. I think this was the weirdest one for me, because I was a tourist on display for other tourists.

After the last of the rice was harvested, we had an interview with the largest English-speaking TV station in South Korea. All the questions were casual chit-chat questions, and I figured that only five or ten seconds would make it on air for a puff piece (which is what happened, with my wife hogging all the screen time).

When we had finally changed back into our normal clothes, we were given gifts by way of thanks, two wooden cups that we now use in the bathroom to hold toothbrushes, along with a pound of rice each (though not the stuff we'd harvested, which was made into tteok and we did get a chance to eat).

Our guide was super nice to us, answered some questions about what it's like to live in South Korea, and talked to us about places for us to visit. Over the next few days, we were able to find a few puff pieces on the internet, all in Korean.

I'm pretty sure they do this every year, always with token foreigners, and I hope some day I'm telling this story to someone and they say "oh yeah, that happened to me too".

[kingkatsuki]

What I’m thinkin’ about today: Mitsuki being wayyyyy too involved in y’all’s sex life (or trying to be, anyway). She’s waited a long ass time for Katsuki to find you, and she wants grandkids like nobody’s business!

I’m thinking like, getting you gift cards to Victoria’s Secret so you can get lingerie, suggesting different positions (that supposedly increase the chances of conception…). Suggesting foods to eat (that supposedly make you more fertile, but she’ll talk up their other nutritional points of course). Heaven forbid you act even a little sick/off around her, you can see that glint in her eye. Sure, she’ll go get you some medicine from the store! Along with several pregnancy tests. Get well soon!

She doesn’t mean any of this maliciously by any means…she’s just…Mitsuki. And she’s overexcited. Drives Katsuki up the fucking wall

Warnings: 18+, lingerie and Mitsuki way too interested in your sex life.

You should’ve known the first time that you met Mitsuki that this would happen, bringing you into a warm hug as she welcomed you into the family. Immediately breaking off into a speech about how excited she was to have grandchildren and that Bakugou was lucky to have you, that she thought he’d never settle down and find someone to put up with him. Slapping his chest and telling him not to fuck it up as he grumbled about having absolutely no intention on doing so. This was six months into your relationship.

Because of that, Bakugou tried his best to keep you apart as much as possible. Although neither of you were immune to the texts and calls bluntly asking whether you’d fornicated today, her eyes lighting up with glee whenever Bakugou would tell her that you’re not feeling well. Disappointed to find out that it was just the common cold and not morning sickness making her dreams come true.

You’d admit the designs she’d created with Masaru for children’s clothes were adorable, and once you and Bakugou were ready to conceive you’d have a wardrobe stocked full of gorgeous clothes for your newborn. But until then, the conversations were becoming a little indecent.

Christmas Day this year was no different, luring you into a false sense of security with only one question about pregnancy the entire festive day. Sitting down in the living room to exchange presents after Christmas dinner you gave Mitsuki a warm smile as she handed you her gift.

It was definitely not what you’d been expecting, lifting up the lacy forest green lingerie out of the black tissue paper that it was hiding in. Noticing the tag from a high end lingerie brand, wondering whether it was the bottom or the top you were holding between your fingers as you felt Bakugou stiffen beside you too.

“That’s Katsuki’s favourite colour.”

You’d think most daughter-in-laws would be mortified to be gifted something like this from their mother-in-law, especially with your boyfriend and father-in-law in the same room. But you almost shook your head at the hilarity of it, wondering how she’d managed to order your exact size too. Poor Masaru looked apologetic as he gave you a nervous smile from his position beside his wife, obviously wading in the calm before the storm.

“Why the fuck would you get that for her, woman?” Bakugou growls, snatching the lace that would probably be considered string out of your hands to shove it back into the box with pink cheeks. How was that even supposed to fit your—

“You’ll like it, you ungrateful brat. I’m doing this for you—” She sneered back, already feeling the tension in the room rising as Masaru tried to invite you for some warm eggnog.

Your mother-in-law had been ecstatic the moment that Bakugou had brought you home for the first time, with her son reaching his thirties she’d seemingly begun to give up hope that he’d bring home anyone.

“I’m surprised he could find anyone to put up with him, especially someone as pretty as you!” Mitsuki would repeat constantly, Bakugou grunting in the background as she looked at you with pure fondness, “I always wanted a daughter.”

But it wasn’t long before the true motives were revealed, the years of arduous waiting for Mitsuki. Telling you that she wanted to be a young Grandmother, a cool Grandma (something that would make Bakugou scoff as she hit him upside the head like clockwork), and she didn’t even mind how many.

And you’d admit it was a little peculiar, receiving links to Cosmopolitan talking about the best sex positions for successfully getting pregnant, or articles about food to eat to help with fertility. The first time you showed Bakugou it had resulted in a thirty minute screaming match on the phone with his mother where he threatened to have Grandkids just so he could make sure she’d never see them, but you knew that was a bluff.

“I fuckin’ knew there was a reason you were plying her with pomegranate juice like some creep, you old hag.”

It’s not that you didn’t want to have kids with Bakugou, you’d both discussed it a lot. And the allusion to him filling you up to make you round and plump carrying his child was included with some of the filth that would spew from his mouth whenever he’d press your legs up to your chest as he plowed into you at night. But you were both just waiting for the right time.

But unfortunately for you, Mitsuki thought that time was now.

“Midoriya’s son is almost two,” She lamented, “Inko just sent me pictures of his first swimming lesson.”

But the final straw was when Bakugou found the ovulation app on his mothers phone, finally explaining the weeks of phone calls asking about whether you’d had some alone time together yet. All the dots slowly adding together—

It felt a shame to waste the pretty lingerie though, the intrigue of how the straps would fit against your curves had you pondering as you got home that evening with your boyfriend. Slipping away into the bathroom to try it on as the silk hugged your curves, wide eyes looking at your reflection in the mirror as the thin piece of string that was supposedly the crotch dug into your mound, sitting between your labia as it involuntarily spread you apart. How would anyone find this comfortable?

“Are you comin’ to bed?” Bakugou stepped into the en suite without knocking, his tired eyes immediately widening at the sight of you, “Dad just text to apologise for— Shit.”

“It’s a bit much, isn’t it?” You turned to face him, your hands squeezing your tits as you tried to get the sheer lace to sit right, “You can see my nipples through it-”

You didn’t get a second to finish as Bakugou had your ass pressed against the bathroom counter, warm palms curving beneath your thighs to sit you on top of it as he bullied his way between your legs. Wrestling with his belt as he tugged his pants down just enough to free his aching cock, the rage inside him for his mother buying you such a lewd present all but forgotten the moment he witnessed the soft fabric against your skin.

“Katsuki, fuck—“ You gasped, feeling him tug the string to the side just enough for him to sink inside your warm, wet cunt.

If you both hadn’t been so distracted you would’ve noticed the two pregnancy tests sitting at the bottom of the lingerie box, everything about your gift planned to the t.

And for Mitsuki’s luck, Christmas Day fell on your ovulation schedule perfectly.

[youunravelme]

to all the girls you loved before part 3

author's note: thanks for all the kind words you left in the last two parts!! to everyone who wanted to be tagged but didn’t, i tried and tumblr wouldn’t let me, for some reason. :(

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, volatile/toxic relationship

day thirty two

"you look rough."

maybe it was the look on your face, or maybe it was your slouched shoulders. either way, mat almost immediately offered you a cup of coffee instead of apologizing.

"my roommate kept me up with her midnight hijinks. i couldn't sleep."

mat grimaced and all but shoved the cup of coffee in your hands. "i know i say this every day, but if you need to nap when ella goes down, the guest room is open."

you took a sip, cringing at the black coffee, but grateful for it anyway. "i might take you up on that offer."

"when you say 'hijinks'..." he trailed off.

"she was fucking someone really loudly. has been for awhile now," you said as you plopped down on the couch, some of the coffee spilling out of the mug and onto your fingers.

"must be nice," mat grumbled. he gestured to ella who was sitting on the floor with toys in a pack in play. "i haven't gotten any since before ella."

"you expect me to be shocked by that?" he stared at you blankly. "mat, i would know if you were seeing someone. mainly because i'm here more than you are."

he opened his mouth to protest, but sat down on the couch next to you. "touche."

"what time do you have to be at practice today?"

a quick glance at his watch told you it was later than he anticipated when he all but jumped off the couch and ran back to his room.

"running late?" you managed to croak out between laughs.

mat poked his head back into the living room with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. "just a little."

"are you driving or is tito picking you up?"

"ee-o," he called from the bathroom. you could only surmise that you were meant to understand that tito was the one driving today.

and like he was summoned, tito burst through the front door and ignored your presence in favor of cooing at ella.

"are you a sweet girl?" he asked. she didn't pay him any attention, more enraptured with the book in front of her. tito huffed and looked at you. "why is she in baby jail?"

you couldn't stop yourself, a laugh slipped out. "baby jail?"

"it's a pack and play, tito," mat said from the bathroom. "and she's in there because she's safe while i get ready."

"then what are you paying mary poppins here for?" tito joked.

"i don't disturb happy babies," you shrugged.

it was silent for a moment. you and tito held eye contact before he moved to sit on the couch next to you. "you've trained him well," he whispered. "didn't think he had a paternal bone in his body."

you didn't know what it was about tito that always had you smiling. maybe it was the fact that he was so at ease all the time. or the earnest attitude he had. or maybe it was the diehard loyalty to mat. or it could've just been that he was fun to be around.

"give him some credit," you said. "he's made a lot of changes in the past month."

"no denying there. the whole team can see it. you've been good for him, momma bear."

you almost shot off the couch. "mama bear?"

"tito," mat groaned from his place in the bathroom. "i thought i told you not to call her that."

the man in question looked unbothered. "you can't say you wouldn't go mama bear on someone for ella."

you opened and closed your mouth before looking down and ignoring him entirely. a quick glance at the clock on your phone had you changing the subject. "aren't you supposed to be leaving now?"

"we would if mat would stop fixing his hair," tito snipped. he turned his head towards the hallway bathroom. "your hair is going into a helmet, mathew. we're not going to the met gala."

mat came out dressed in all black with his hair looking....

the exact same as it did seven minutes ago.

"what the hell took you so long?" tito asked. "you look like you always do. with the amount of time it took you to get ready, i was hoping you would've looked better."

mat flipped off tito, but other than that, ignored him entirely. he walked over to where ella was and picked her up, kissing the top of her head when she curled into his chest. "i'll be back later, ella bean. i love you."

your ears heard everything, but the moment felt private, so you pretended like someone was texting you something important at 7:30 in the morning. the phone had your focus until mat called your name; you looked up almost immediately.

"i'll be back in a few hours."

day thirty four

"i'm so glad you're here," mat said as soon as he opened up the door. you walked in, albeit hesitantly, waiting for someone or something to jump out at you. there weren't many times when someone was actually excited to see you. though, you supposed, all that changed when you met mat.

"what happened? is ella okay?" you asked warily.

he smiled. "she's great! she's in the pack and play while i got ready. are you okay? how are you?"

"i'm fine?...look are you okay? you seem, hyper."

mat shrugged. "just excited. i have a surprise for you."

you blinked once. twice. three times. until the words finally registered with you. "a surprise?" you'd only known him for a month, how did he know you well enough to surprise you?

it was like a switch flipped and suddenly mat was rubbing the back of his neck and walking over to ella to find something to do. "well yeah," he said. "i know you said you didn't really know anything about hockey, so i thought you could come to the game today."

you opened your mouth to reply but he cut you off.

"an--and you could bring jason! i have two tickets, one for you, one for him."

"what about ella?" you asked. "her sleep schedule might be affected."

"i thought about that, but i talked to matt martin and he said sydney, his wife, had done it. worse comes to worst, we can set up a pack and play in the box and she could sleep there for the time being."

you looked at him, and really looked at him. usually, mat was full of confidence, walked around like he owned the place (which in this case, he kinda did). but now? he would barely meet your eye and kept rubbing the back of his neck like he had an itch there.

"i'll go!" you said to finally put him out of his misery. "i just--what do you wear to a hockey game?"

mat's eyes lit up like a kid on christmas. "you can wear my jersey!" you must've had a look on your face because he quickly backtracked. "or tito's! if you want."

"no!" you said before you could stop yourself. "no, i'll wear your jersey. i know you better anyway." you weren't sure what it was but the poorly concealed panic on mat's face did something to make you agree. jason probably wouldn't like it, but you could probably explain that everyone wore jerseys at games. it wasn't that big of a deal.

"great," mat smiled. "that's--that's great."

and it was. you stayed at mat's apartment until it was time to leave for the game. you were dressed in your jeans and threw mat's jersey over your shirt, when jason texted that he was outside. you tossed on a coat. you grabbed ella who was decked out in a mini barzal jersey and sweat pants and sitting in her car seat. you made a quick grab for the diaper bag before locking up.

you met jason down at his car where he sat in the driver's seat. he didn't get out to open the back seat for ella, the most he did was unlock the car. when you finally got her situated, you got in the front seat, not sparing him a glare at his lack of help.

"thanks for the assistance," you bit out.

"i didn't know what you wanted me to do. i'm not a mind reader!" jason snapped back as he pulled the car away from the curb. "besides, it's just a baby car seat, it's not like you couldn't handle it."

"it would've been nice had you even offered to grab the diaper bag or offered any help at all."

jason scoffed. "whatever."

not a word was spoken outside of ella's babbling in the back seat.

by the time the three of you arrived at the arena, you were hopeful that you could act like nothing happened. you got out of the car, and put the baby carrier on while jason grabbed the diaper bag. you quickly got ella situated in the carrier and put on the lanyard mat gave you, handing jason's to him.

the three of you started walking towards the arena. everything was fine until another fan made a comment when you got inside.

he pointed at you and shouted. "a house divided, eh?"

you furrowed your brows. what the hell was he talking about? you turned and looked at jason who was doing his best to look as confused as you were and failing horribly.

he was wearing a rangers jersey.

to the rangers and isles game.

when you were invited by mat.

you clenched your jaw and kept walking, not wanting to make a scene in front of everyone.

by the time you made it inside the box, you were fuming. you wanted so badly to scream at him for being a dick, but another part of you said he was allowed to wear a jersey for a team he liked. after all, that's what you were doing, right?

right?

not that you really had time to think about it because the prettiest woman you think you'd ever seen came bounding over to you with the whitest smile you'd ever seen in real life.

"hi!" she said. "i'm sydney, mat's told us so much about you and miss ella."

you introduced yourself and did your best to smile back, though you're not sure if it was convincing. "this is my boyfriend, jason."

for a moment, just a flicker of a second, the smile on sydney's face faltered. it was so quick you almost second guessed yourself that it ever happened in the first place. "i'm really excited you're here, we love new company." she grabbed you by the arm in a gentle way but with a strong enough grip that you knew you really had no other option. "let me introduce you to everyone!"

after introductions, you found yourself and ella a seat. you pulled her out of the carrier before taking the carrier and your coat off. an action you almost immediately regretted.

"are you fucking serious?" you heard jason say. you turned with ella in your arms to see his normally pale face burning red. "you're wearing his jersey?"

there were no words coming to your mind. the two of you had argued before, but you had never seen him this volatile before.

in a flash, he was in front of you yelling as spit flew from his mouth. you didn't even register what he was saying, how could you when ella was crying? all you remembered was mumbling an apology over and over but that only served to make him angrier.

it wasn't until sydney literally got between you two that he stopped screaming. he looked around to see everyone staring at the two of you and threw his hands up in the air. "you know what?" he said. "fuck you, i'm leaving. you can find another way home."

sydney was in front of you, trying to calm you and ella down but you couldn't hear anything over the blood rushing in your ears.

jason was never the nicest boyfriend, but he'd never been that angry before. you'd never been scared of him before.

"here," sydney said. "let's get you some water."

"ella's upset--"

"because she knows you're upset. once you calm down, you can calm her down."

you nodded and let her sit you in a chair and bring you a glass of water. once your hands stopped shaking, you were able to bring ella to your chest and rub her back in the way you knew she liked.

"i'm sorry," you said.

sydney just tilted her head in confusion. "what for?"

"i brought him here, i didn't know he'd act like that--"

"honey, you are not responsible for a grown man's reaction to a stupid jersey." she pulled her chair closer to yours. "so let's just put all of that on the back burner and enjoy the game, okay?"

you nodded and turned your attention back to the rink where the players were warming up. ella yawned and snuggled into your chest when it hit you.

you forgot the pack and play.

"shit."

"honey, i told you it's okay--"

"no," you laughed. "it's just i forgot the pack and play so my boyfriend isn't gonna be the only who's mad at me by the end of tonight."

sydney, despite the implications of your statement, smiled. "she'll live," she said. "mine have definitely missed bedtime before and they're turning out alright. just means tomorrow might be a little difficult."

"thanks, sydney.'

"anytime!"

the two of you turned your attention to the rink where the game was beginning. occasionally, you'd get up and bounce ella around the suite, but for the most part, she was content as long as she was in your arms. by the time the second period was over, the isles were tied with the rangers 1-1.

ella had long since fallen asleep in the carrier with her thumb in her mouth. the tears were long gone by then, both of you having calmed down significantly since the start of the game. though now your heart was racing due to the intensity of the game instead of the screaming of your boyfriend.

despite your anger at him earlier, and the fear you felt before he left, you still found yourself checking your phone periodically for any text or missed call he might've left.

nothing.

you were so focused, you nearly missed mat's one goal of the night but your attention was brought to the game when you heard sydney shout his name.

you smiled as you watched him celebrate his goal, skating around the rink and shouting. you were too high up to see if he smiled the same way he did when he looked at ella, with that same look of pride. maybe you'd come back to another game to see it up close and personal for yourself.

the isles won 2-1.

sydney, ella, and you waited in the suite until the stands had mostly cleared out, then the three of you made your way down to the locker rooms. ella was out like a light, and you couldn't blame her. you were out later than you had been in months.

you and sydney made small talk while you waited for mat and matt. you watched as other players greeted their friends and family, smiling at the hugs and kisses going around.

it wasn't until matt martin came out that the tears started coming back. the way his face lit up at the sight of his wife, the kiss her gave her that was almost too inappropriate for a public place--

you would've given anything to be loved like that.

in the two years you'd dated jason, you couldn't remember him ever looking at you like that, like you were his entire universe.

you cleared your throat and rubbed at your eyes just in time for mat and tito to walk out.

"mama bear!" tito called. he started to jog over but slowed down when he saw ella asleep in the carrier.

mat, however, looked you over. his brows pulled together and his lips turned down in a small frown. it didn't make sense on the face of someone who shot the game winning goal.

but it made sense for an observant friend who noticed the plus one you came with.

"where's jason?" he asked.

"i--"

sydney cut in with a smile on her face as she dragged her husband over. "this is mat's nanny, babe. the one i was telling you about?"

you could've kissed her feet for the change in subject.

"nice to meet you in person, finally. barzy over here talks about you and ella all the time." matt stuck his hand out to shake, ignoring the glares of the other mat.

"well, we gotta get home to the girls," sydney said. "nice to meet you finally. maybe i'll see you at another game, yeah?" you smiled and nodded and watched as the happy couple walked away.

when they were finally out of sight, you turned your attention back to mat and tito, both whom looked a little too good in their suits.

"where's jason?" mat asked for the second time now that you didn't have another person around to interrupt you.

"he left," was all you said.

"he left you here? alone?"

you nodded. "and he took the car seat."

mat nodded and clenched his jaw while tito glanced back and forth between you two. "i'll drive you home. thankfully, he took the bonus car seat and not the one i use."

you mumbled a small thanks and watched dumbly as he scooped the diaper bag off your shoulder and put it on his own. "mat i can carry it just fine--"

"sounds like you've been carrying enough on your own. i got it."

you had no rebuttal, so you followed him and tito out to the garage. tito parted ways when you reached mat's car. he bid you a silent wave and smile as a form of goodbye and headed to his own vehicle.

you didn't speak until mat started the car. not even when the both of you were loading ella carefully into the car seat or putting the diaper bag in the back. you didn't even say anything when he handed you his phone to plug your address in.

it was silent until you mumbled a small "thank you."

"for what?" he asked.

'"for taking me home. for inviting me to the game even when jason..." you trailed off.

"when jason...?" he implored you to go on. you hesitated. "cmon, you've seen me at my worst, scared about this new baby and raising her. you can trust me."

you sighed. "jason kind of lost his mind tonight and made a huge scene. i tried apologizing to sydney but she wouldn't have it. i'm just sorry that we embarrassed you like that."

mat went real quiet for a second. and in the corner of your eye, you saw his fists grip the steering wheel a little tighter. "what did he say?"

"huh?"

"i saw the look on your face when we came out. he said something that upset you. what did he say?"

and how do you say you didn't remember words just feelings? you couldn't remember the insults he hurled your way, but you remembered the sting of his tone and the burn of his spit and the pure rage in his eyes. you could remember shaking like a leaf during fall and the cries of ella muffled by the jersey with her last name on the back and her father's number on the sleeve.

mat called your name. "i don't remember." he didn't look convinced. "i really don't. he said a lot of things but i blocked most of it out," you said thinking that would placate him.

if anything, it made him angrier.

but he didn't say anything, mainly because your apartment was approaching and he didn't have time. mat parked the car out in front of your building and turned his flashers on.

"you need me to walk you up?" he asked.

you shook your head. "you have ella in the back. i'll be fine."

"text me when you get inside."

any other day, you would've argued with him, but you were just glad someone cared enough about your wellbeing to ask, so you nodded and opened the door.

you got into the elevator, hands wringing themselves together. you wondered what you'd tell your roommate natalie, if you'd tell her anything. but considering how much jason liked to make your relationship business natalie's business, she probably already knew and she probably was waiting on the couch ready to chastise you.

the elevator doors opened at your floor. you walked down the hallway towards your front door. you pulled your phone out, ready to text mat when you heard noises coming from inside your apartment.

your first thought was: intruders. but when listening a little harder, it just sounded like moans. you rolled your eyes and carefully and quietly unlocked the door. only to be confronted with clothes strewn about the living area. natalie's shirt, shorts, socks, all leading on a less than ideal trail to her bedroom. you shouldn't be surprised given how active she's been lately. you just never expected it to be this in your face.

you continued into your apartment, two seconds away from texting mat when you saw it.

a rangers jersey.

taglist:

@whenmypartysover @sunflowerhood @spencereidbasis @icanfsplel @avareadsthings @zegraswrites @calermakar @heyitsmeimdead @kashee-h @bordelhoe

[frankiebirds]

reid's reaction when emily says "we missed your birthday" is so fucking. agh.

he nods and smiles and then very quickly looks down.

TIME TO READ INTO IT WHOOOOO:

when they missed his birthday, he was like. "eh. it's fine. i'm thirty now, i don't need my friends to throw me a party. i'm an adult, i'm not upset about it."

especially because i'm sure reid didn't have a lot of awesome birthdays pre-series. i always got the impression he was mostly friendless until he joined the team, with ethan as the only exception (and in my heart they met and became friends in college, despite canon suggesting it was as young children). diana loved him and i'm sure she would have been lovely on his birthday, but i doubt she always remembered it (in the flashback to william leaving in 2x15 she doesn't know what day it is—i think it's very plausible that could happen on at least some of his birthdays) and if she did, she might not have been in the right headspace to celebrate it like she wanted.

(and even if she remembered and she was doing well, i really struggle to see any version of diana and spencer post-william leaving who wouldn't have had serious financial issues)

and then after spencer moves diana into assisted living (possibly on his birthday or at least close to it) he's mostly alone until he meets gideon. (again, except for ethan)

so, in summary: pre-bau spencer's birthdays were probably infrequently celebrated, and when they were celebrated, they were probably a lot less of a Big Deal than other peoples' were, for various reasons. so spencer spends about a decade growing used to not celebrating his birthday, then joins the bau and spends about a decade getting used to celebrating it, and then...they forget. not only do they forget, they forget the big three-oh.

so he tells himself not only that he's too old now to care about his birthday, but he spent so long not celebrating it anyway, and he's fine. it's fine.

and then emily finds out. and it's not fine. and he is upset about it.

[natileroxs]

I barely even know if the khr Fandom is even around anymore but I do want to raise an interesting point that I've been thinking over a hell of a lot.

So the wiki doesn't say anything about the actual ages of the Arcobaleno, only that they are physically about 2 years old (but Lambo and Ipin are both around 5/6 and the choice to have them look the same is a bizarre one at best but I digress). We can assume, based on looks and status, that the Arcobaleno were, at the time when they got the pacifiers, all roughly around the same age and at least older than 25 but probably edging closer toward 30-35. Reborn especially comes off as older than 30, with more life experience.

We do have a rough idea about how long they have been Arcobaleno's though. Luce was pregnant when she got her pacifier and then she had Aria, who then grew up to have Uni. In the future, Uni looks to be about the same age or maybe a little younger than the guardians at around 12 or 13, which would make her around 2 or 3 in current time. Aria was said to have died young, but after Uni was born. To give a decent guess, Aria might have been around 25 when she died. Since she had to have died less than 3 years prior, my current assumption now is that the Arcobaleno have had their pacifiers for nearly thirty years.

Now where am I going with this? Well, I'm going straight to Fon and Hibari. I am just as much of a perpetrator in the whole Uncle Fon thing despite the fact that, according to my calculations, Fon would actually be closer to 65 while Hibari is only around 16. And yes, Hibari's parent (usual hc I see is his mom but either works) could have a giant age gap or have had Hibari late, but most women cannot have children past the age of 50 due to menopause. 15 years or more is a large age gap for siblings.

But an age gap larger than that would actually make it fit better if Fon is actually Hibari's grandfather. Which is funny, I know. But hear me out. Fon has a daughter before he becomes an Arcobaleno, then he gets his pacifier when she is a child/teen. And then she grows up and has Kyoya. (Don't even get me started on how I would fit Ipin into this family tree because it's just so weird that Fon is helping out this random child)

Anyway, if any of you guys still exist, please give me your thoughts.

[postazkabansiriussupremacy]

Some of my headcanons about Sirius

CW: None

Masterlist

I know a lot of people headcanon that Sirius was a slut in his youth, but I disagree

Sirius was too consumed with his friends and too caught up with his abusive family to be worried about girls

I headcanon this bc in the flashback of the Marauders, it’s said that Sirius was being stared at by some girls and Sirius either doesn’t notice or he ignores them

I’m sure he probably had a few girls in his day, but I don’t think he’s the total whore that some of the fandom makes him out to be

Anyway

He’s in his mid-thirties now and he’s missed out on a lot of time and experiences

As far as we can tell, wizards seems to be pretty traditional when it comes to getting married and having children

Sirius was always a bit of a ‘rebel’ of course, but I do think that he’d want a family and someone to share his life with

He’s pure blooded. Meaning he’s related (either closely or distantly) to a lot of wizards.

So because of that, I think he’d go out of his way to be with a muggle or a muggle-born

(Sirius is also incredibly petty, and if he were to marry a muggle/muggle-born, it’d make him happy to know he’s pissing off his parents even in the afterlife)

[radioactivepeasant]

Snippets: Free Day Thursday

(Goes in the series where Jak got to Spargus via trespassing 😆 takes place after Jak sneaks into the Arena)

Despite the threats of being "grounded until you're thirty-six" (per the advisor in the foundlings' dormitory), no one had taken Jak's gate pass or war amulet. He'd won them on his own, whether or not he met some arbitrary threshold based on bone growth. A lot of Wastelanders on the street talked down to them still, like they were children -- one weird guy with neither hair nor pants kept calling them "anklebiters" and scornfully laughing that the king would never let them leave the city again. But after crashing Sam's second Arena trial, Jak had started hearing approval here and there.

What he couldn't fathom was how often their approval centered around his dark eco form!

That abomination? The walking demonstration of how dark eco was an affront to life?

Easy there, that's Samos talking. If it was wholly evil, the Oracle wouldn't have taught me to make the Dark Form my own, beyond anything Praxis could dream of.

"Useful", they called the horned menace.

Useful, like he'd demonstrated the skills of an electrician or architect or something!

And no one had tried to make him use it, not even once! The most anyone had said so far was "I bet it takes a lot of nerve to learn those moves!", or questions about how much food he had to eat to keep up with the calorie expenditure.

He and Daxter had been tasked with hunting down a local pest called a kangarat that had a bad habit of eating the city's stored grains -- and that had devolved into s tense moment on the beach with some kind of dark eco-probe thing.

Honestly, it was one of the few times when Jak's inability to read modern glyphs came in handy. The script scrolling across the screens had been ancient, even by Sandover standards. But it was close enough to the texts Uncle used to teach him to read that Jak had been able to reroute the power and drain its battery core.

That hadn't done much to make the monk like them.

Seem had a real problem with dark eco, apparently. And oddly, that had felt jarring after everyone else in Spargus.

Seem reminded Jak of Haven.

He didn't want to think about Haven right now.

Eventually someone would probably make him go back. But the war was over, right? It was just skirmishes now, something they'd handled before Jak and could handle without Jak. They'd gotten too used to taking him for granted anyway.

They'd probably be fine.

Right?

Jak shook the darkening thoughts away and made his way out of the Arena complex, shoving a roll into the small pouch that hung from his belt. Meals were scheduled here, and food was readily available, albeit not abundant. But two years and some change of regularly going hungry meant he and Daxter were almost always thinking about food in some way.

Daxter teased that Jak thought about food more than romance. Jak didn't think he was wrong, exactly.

"What do you think, can we make it to the gate without being stopped today?" Jak asked Daxter as he stepped down into the street.

"Only if the Mustachioed Menace isn't there."

Daxter shuddered.

"Jak, promise me if he goes for the fork and knife, you'll skewer him."

"Yeah no, he won't even get that far," Jak promised.

The heat was already in full swing, even at four bells after sunrise. Jak was surprised he'd adapted to it as quickly as he had. The dust? Not so much. He coughed and spat out grit from an errant breeze.

"Told you to pull the scarf up."

"I'd look like Jinx."

"Your vanity or sand in the mouth, up to you, pal."

The general plan had been to make their meandering way back to the beach -- they hadn't seen a clean beach or unpolluted water in years -- but about three minutes into the West Quarter, Jak stopped. A familiar staff was leaned up against a small structure made of stone and conductive metals, but when they glanced around, Damas was nowhere to be seen.

"Well, that's a little weird," Daxter commented.

Jak stepped closer and hunched down to look into the almost hutch-like building. A large, squat, generator sat there on five-inch stilts to keep it out of the sand. A box of tools lay beside it, and a man's lower half stuck out from underneath on a small rolling palette. It almost looked like-

"Uh...Damas?"

Jak wasn't sure the guy liked Jak going around calling him by his first name, but Jak had never been one to allow formalities.

There was a soft clang and a muffled curse. Then the palette rolled out and Damas was there, stained with grease and looking decidedly impatient.

"If it's not urgent, make Kleiver deal with it. I'm busy."

"Yeah, I see that."

Jak crouched to awkwardly waddle into the hut.

"What are you doing?"

Damas raised a brow and gestured silently to the generator as if asking isn't it obvious?

A touch chagrined, Jak waved a hand.

"No, I mean like- what's wrong with it?"

"And how come you're fixin' it?" Daxter added, "Are folks that shorthanded?"

The king simply rolled his eyes and slid back underneath the generator.

"I already told you," he grumbled, "Out here, you're either doing something useful with your life or you're just deadweight. A king sitting sedentary and barking out orders is the epitome of deadweight."

Daxter made an approving sound -- a rarity Damas would later learn to appreciate.

"I can respect it. Not how I'd run things, but not bad! You even got shade in here!"

Jak shrugged Daxter off his shoulder and tapped at the generator casing in interest.

"So what's busted? How big of a problem is it?"

"Well either the blue eco tube is blocked, or the conductors are bad," Damas grunted. "If the eco grid in the Northwest districts goes down, our defenses will be completely out on this side."

"...can I help?"

Damas wheeled back out, looking as though he wasn't sure what he'd heard.

"You what?"

Jak pushed the toolbox closer, making room to lay down and look at the inner workings of the generator.

"I want to help!" he said, "I'm good with eco!"

"Yeah, noticed that."

Damas took a pair of something that looked like forceps and crimped the line in question. He wanted the uncanny boy to just leave. Everything about him felt like he was on the cusp of learning something that could not be un-learned, and would shake the foundations of everything he knew. It made working very distracting. But the offer of aid freely given was never turned down in Spargus. Even if the boy did lead his mind in uncomfortable circles, he was here, and he was eager to help.

With a sigh, Damas gestured vaguely to the tool box.

"Give me the electrical current meter and the wire stripper."

"Got it. Wait, which one's the wire stripper?"

"The pliers that look like they have teeth."

"Oh, there they are."

Jak picked up the wire stripper and handed it over to Damas.

"I don't know a lot about tools yet, sorry. Everyone always makes me destroy things. They think it's all I'm good for. The Oracles are kind of the only ones who don't get mad if I want to fix things instead."

"Geez, kid."

"Yeah, I know. It's not great."

Jak leaned over. "Why do you want the wire stripper?"

Damas pulled down two colorful wires where Jak could see.

"Because," he muttered, "this colorful stuff is insulation. And I need it off if I'm going to test the conductor with this other wire- hey, is the mouthy cacomistle mutant still out there?"

Daxter made an offended gasp, and Damas nodded.

"Good. Tell me if the lights come on."

Damas pulled a black wire and a red wires together and touched the bare ends together.

"Anything?"

"Eehhhhh...." Daxter flopped a hand back and forth. "Lights are on, nobody's home."

"Well, it's not the conductors then. Rot, that means the eco crystallized."

"Crap, really?" Jak scooted closer. "Man, that's a pain to break down."

"Tell me about it."

Damas adjusted the cart and shoved an arm up into the inner workings.

Jak watched, wondering about what he'd said. Was Damas implying that he could channel, too? Well it was about time he met some other channelers! Kor and Praxis couldn't have wiped them all out!

Maybe that's why people here were more open-minded about dark eco. Maybe there were enough channelers around here to use the light eco in the temple that they didn't even worry about getting unbalanced.

"Jak, I need your hand here."

Damas smacked his shoulder with the back of his hand and pointed.

"Hold that, and don't let it fall on me."

"Got it!"

Damas began to unbolt the resevoir frame to get to the eco. "We," he grumbled, "are going to be here a while."

"I'd offer to dissolve it with some dark eco, but I have no idea what that would do to your generator."

"Yeah let's avoid potentially possessed hardware," Damas said, "I'd just as soon skip a repeat of your little adventure on the beach with that...thing."

Jak winced and readjusted his grip on the frame. "...ah. You know about that, huh?"

"I'm the king, kid. I know everything."

It didn't cross his mind until much later that -- in spite of his misgivings -- he'd started treating Jak like any other Spargan. Nor had he considered at the time that he might have been setting a precedent. But when what should have been a simple repair job turned into an impromptu lesson on basic tool function, it seemed that Jak had lost any of the few reservations he had about Damas.

The next two weeks were filled with "what are you doing?" and "where are you going?", "can I come?" "Can I help?"

It was like Mar all over again, but as a skinny teenager!

There would come a day in the near future when Damas would look back on his choice of description with some very colorful swearing about the clarity of hindsight.

[keen-li]

We need a part II for renegade, PLEASE

Will he change?

OC will be a solo mom?

So many questions

Part 2

"You have to get rid of it y/n" jungkook says running his hand through his hair.

When you said it he had to swallow twice to be able to tell you anything. In his almost thirty years of living he'd never expect this. Well asleast most of the girls he accidentally knocked up agreed to get rid of it. Jungkook knows it won't be easy to convince you.

"Fuck no...are you insane? " You scoff at him, not surprised but still disappointed by his reaction. You never expected anything less selfish from jungkook.

"You're so fucking selfish" you say to him.

"You never thought that of yourself when you got pregnant."

The audacity he has to actually say that to you.

"Jungkook are you-" You grab the empty glass on the table, finally reaching peak frustration, and throw it at jungkook's head but he dodges.

"Y/n come on. Behave." He says like you're some dog.

"Behave? You're acting like I forced you to fuck me."

"We made this baby together" you yell though the loud music drowns it out a bit. Jungkook can still see it in your face and on your body language. Your anger travels through the sound waves.

He runs a hand through his hair sighing as he does so. "Y/n I don't know what you're gonna do but that's not my baby"

You felt like you've been slapped in the face. Is he really walking out on you. You've only been apart for a month and honestly you didn't move on from jungkook that fast, though it seemed like he moved on quite quick.

You were still at home sulking over jungkook and comforting yourself cause you'd never planned on moving in so quickly from jungkook, but now that you're pregnant with his kid you don't know what you're going to do. After a week of breaking up with him you began to get symptoms. You didn't want it to be true, not because you didn't want to have children with jungkook but because you knew he'd never agree. And his reaction right now is proving you right.

So after buying 5 pregnancy tests, you needed to be very sure, you followed the instructions and after waiting for the long itching answer. You checked the little stick and saw the ever so evident positive sign. Your eyes began to fill, you were happy. You honestly wanted this kid. And aslong as yohuweren't thinking about jungkook you were happy that you had this gift. But it's hard not to think about jungkook.

Your Mind would casually slip into its wonderland.

Would it have jungkook's beautiful eyes or his thick dark hair.

Or would it be a boy or girl. Would jungkook be a good girl dad or boy dad. Sometimes you'd be able to stop yourself from going far in but on other days you'd drown in it, even going as far as marrying him and having a second child.

You honestly couldn't be thinking of a second child when you haven't even told him about his first one.

Fuck. You sigh.

You didn't know how to bring this to him. You decided to keep it a little longer still nervous to tell him. But after sometime you grew the balls to tell him, maybe it's the hormones. Where were you gonna find him though.

Jungkook rarely stayed in one place always moving here and there on different jobs. If he'd be home you were sure you wouldn't know day. But one day you decided to look for him at the club where he goes to every Friday night, where you actually met. And lucky you, you found him right were you'd thought he'd be.

You honestly thought he'd maybe change after you left him but looking at the alcohol and the drugs plus the girl drooling for him, you just know he'd never change for nothing.

"Jungkook are you fucking walking out on me!" You yell turning to look at jungkook's figure disappearing.

"JUNGKOOK!" you yell his name, he probably wouldn't be able to hear you anyways cause of the loud music. Argh! You honestly wished they'd turn it off already.

.......

Jungkook hasn't been able to think straight leading him to drink more. Ever since you told him what you did tell him he's been off. It's been three days since you told him and he hasn't talked to you. All he wants to do is check up on you but he doesn't, he cant. He doesn't want to be a father.

"You okay bro" one of the guys ask him.

"Uhh" he can barely answer clearly. "Ahh shit. I'm fucked" jungkook leans back against the couch and grunts with his hands in his hair.

The other guys look at each other confused about what's going on.

"I knocked up some chick and she wants to keep it" he finally says face still buried into his hands.

The guys still look at each other confused and he can hear one of them whisper to the other. "The girl who came to the club"

"Oh, you mean y/n?" Jungkook nods at him. His guys knew you a little better than his other chicks cause you were the only official one. They all knew within themselves that you wouldn't last with jungkook, no one ever did. They've met all the girls who thought they would change or that jungkook would change for them, and you were no different than them.

"Since when did you start calling y/n 'some chick' "

"I thought you loved her" they mock him.

"Love? She's just a chick with a good head game and great pussy." He says carelessly.

"She's nothing much" he adds unnecessarily.

They all begin to laugh at the revelation. "So what are you gonna do bout knocking her up?"

"I don't know but she has to get rid of it.

......

After a long week of crying on your best friend's shoulder you decide to get yourself together, for yourself and for the baby. If jungkook wanted to continue living his life like he just turned nineteen so be it. You're gonna take care of this child and do everything you can.

You're on your way back from work. You'd spent the whole day seated and typing and it honestly didn't help your feet. You're now two months pregnant and you honestly feel awful. Should you honestly be feeling this bad so early on, maybe it's the stress from jungkook that's killing you. You've been trying your best to be in the best condition for this baby even changing your diet.

This walking home stuff kills your feet, you wish jungkook would just man up and treat you like you were pregnant with his child. It's so unfair that you have to walk from home to work and back everyday when your baby's father has a well working car. But now that you think of it would you really want to be in that chemical infested car. You'd honestly be nauseous especially with your now sensitive senses. But honestly you'd do anything to get you off your fe-

Your thoughts are cut short as you abruptly stop in your tracks due to the silver car that stops your path. Are they fucking trying to kill you. As you're trying to get a good look at the stupid driver who could clearly see you walking they drive off bit you get a glimpse of his face.

Is that one of jungkook's friends.

......

You're now five months along. Everyday you feel the baby's little kicks, well they don't feel so little. These months have been going so fast before you know it you'll be giving birth.

During this whole pregnancy and to this point you've been thinking about the gender of your baby. You've only been buying gender neutral clothes because you weren't ready to know the gender but now you feel ready enough.

So your best friend has planned a small gender reveal with a cake and some balloons. You invited your parents, after the long conversation of telling them you were pregnant and trying to avoid telling them who the father was. Which you did successfully. They weren't mad at all, You're grown, but they just wanted to know who the father was, which you just brushed as unimportant.

So they three of them stand around the table as they watch you cut the cake. Once you pull out the slice of cake and see the pink coloured filling you tear up. You were having a little baby girl.

Your family hugged you and congratulated you once more as you cry. You were so grateful for your family and best friend, he's honestly your family too. But you couldn't help but think about jungkook. A little baby girl, what would jungkook think.

A phrase you've been repeating all through this journey. As you bought the baby clothes, what would jungkook think. When you finally got to see your baby on the blurry, black and white scanned photo, what would jungkook think. Honestly he wouldn't care but you can't help but think of it. You really want to forget jungkook but it's gonna be hard with this baby around.

.....

You have sweat dripping out of you like a waterfall as you push at the doctor's command. Your mother wasn't kidding when she told you about the ring of fire. This birth might hurt as much as jungkook's denial.

You continue to push as your screams fill the room. You're pushing for who knows how long when you feel the pressure lifted from you. Soon after you hear the cries of your sweet baby girl.

After the doctors are done they give her to you. When you feel her skin on yours you actually realise this is real, it's real you actually just had a baby.

After you're done with the whole birthing process you lay there on the hospital bed with your newly born baby. You admire her thick dark hair, definitely got it from jungkook. Speaking of jungkook, genetics really said copy and paste. She literally has all jungkook's features. His nose, his hair and his big round doe eyes. Shit you really wanna cry. The little human you both created is so cute. You did all the nurturing but jungkook gets all the credit, unfair. You chuckle as you hear a knock at the door.

It can't be your family they said they'd be back later.

"Someone's here for you" the nurse says opening the door. You turn your attention from your little one when you see the nurse and someone follow behind her.

Oh my the devil himself.

You scoff and roll your eyes as jungkook places the flowers he brought on the little table.

He tries to place a kiss on your head but you duck. He then looks at your baby eyes lighting up. He must be fucking with you.

"Isn't she cute" you hear him say. You just look at him not knowing what to feel. You nod affirming his curiosity.

"We made th-" You cut his bullshit before he goes further.

"Jungkook what do you want here" you scoot gently not trying to wake her up.

"I came to see my-"

"-our baby"

.....

If you want more it's here

[mac-n-chees]

why your attack on titan otp isn’t canon

eremika: what tf are y’all doing here you guys are one of the only ones who can say it’s a canon ship gtfo

levihan: you guys are cute aww these guys are like a couple of siblings❤️ cmon y’all levihan are platonic soulmates and erwin smith is RIGHT THERE

eren x annie (anieren? ereani?): touch grass. you saw one interaction and decided they were the perfect couple, this is literally the dramione of aot, the zutara of this anime. just because you’re horny doesn’t mean everyone else is, pls keep ur hormones in check<3

erwin x hange: as i was writing this post the thought occurred to me that someone might ship this and it caused me physical pain but if you ship this ig you’re cool cause i’ve never seen this ship at all so therefore i’ve never been attacked by one of you online so congrats🥳 but they’re not canon cos literally not one soul ships them so whatever

eruri: is this the right name cause ship names in this fandom go crazy sometimes. anyways these the gayest mfs i’ve ever seen and the only reason they’re not canon is cause erwin had to die. doomed ships for the win😻 but you KNOW levi was getting some behind the scenes, cmon y’all

jearmin: hajime isayama is a coward

jeanmarco: gonna be honest, i did not give two shits when marco died. idk how this is a popular ship since marco got clapped in like episode 3. i mean i can see it ig but to me they just look like friends (and that’s probably what isayama was thinking too)

beruannie: one-sided as fuck

erehisu: historia is a lesbian (“oH bUt wHaT aBoUt tHe fArMeR???” she needed a sperm donor and he was the closest one they are not in love)

jeankasa: eremika solos, sorry, mikasa will always love eren (stay sour jean✌🏼)

levi x any of the members of the 104th: they are CHILDREN and levi is a full grown, thirty something year old ADULT, if you ship any of these there’s a special cell in jail waiting for you

mobihan: who even is moblit this ship forgettable as fuck. but i mean its not bad but again isayama hates love and romance so moblit had to die (sorry mobihan lovers)

springles (aka connie x sasha): you guys they’re PLATONIC SOULMATES, and they’re portrayed as such. also niccolo exists you guys sasha and connie are just like siblings

eremin: hajime isayama is a COWARD. you CANNOT TELL ME that the whole “i will stay with you forever” interaction in the final season was not FRUITY AS FUCK, there was so much tension but isayama’s a PUSSY

reiner x historia: historia is a lesbian

pikuhan: you guys have got to stop shipping everyone you see interact

for bonus points everyone tell me the ship you HATEEEEE i’ll go first😻:

aruani✨✨🌈🌈🌙🌙

if you want an explanation you won’t get one unless i get harassed enough thank you and good night

[atopvisenyashill]

any thoughts about how could it be the dynamic between viserys-naerys- daeron ii in fire & blood 2?

okay so straight up the dynamic i’m MOST interested in learning about in f&b2 is the viserys-naerys-daeron ii dynamic. first of all, those first two are just UNGODLY DISTURBINGLY YOUNG when they have children. viserys has naerys, his YOUNGEST child when he is sixteen. naerys has daeron when she is fifteen. viserys is a grandfather before he is 32 years old. it is truly babies raising babies out here!! i mean fuck, daeron has baelor under significantly less traumatic circumstances but he’s still only 17 by the time he starts having kids! that’s all just wildly interesting and disturbing to me. like, that alone, how close in age they all are because they all married & started having kids at crazy young ages, explains so much about why this period has always felt particularly deranged to me (“this period” being post dance where we get this incredible string of deranged freaks from aegon iii to aegon iv that ebbs into this vaguely “we’re having a targ renaissance yay” era that erupts into civil war anyways! i LOVE this conceptually i’m so ready to be annoyed when f&b2 comes out and i’ve hyped this all up for some more dumb sex stories from another court fool ajsjs).

but then secondly, okay, when you look at the timeline- daeron is born in 153 and the birth nearly kills naerys 15/16 year old naerys. aegon iii is still king for four more years. that last year, aegon iv spends his time (and the next two years after that) shacked up with megette. then aegon spends a few years shacked up/probably raping casella vaith the hostage, before running off to war. then he spends more time raping naerys, wherein she has a miscarriage, and aegon is sent away so he doesn’t rape her to death. daeron marries myriah, has a child with her. but before that child is two, in quick succession, his father comes back home & immediately starts raping his mother again, his mother nearly dies having twins & now he has a sister younger than his son, and daena unveils her new bastard who everyone thinks is aegon’s, and baelor is so distraught by all this he fasts himself to death. viserys is king, and likely dead before daeron’s second son is born and before daeron turns twenty. suddenly the person responsible for making sure aegon doesn’t rape naerys to death are daeron & aemon, who have NO authority over aegon. this man has the audacity to stay alive for twelve more years.

that shit is insane. daeron’s father is only around when he’s raping his mom. the closest things daeron has to a father figure are his uncle who wants to fuck his mom, his grandfather who is probably busy constantly (and also only in his thirties 😭), and his batshit insane cousin baelor. his childhood is marked by almost constant instability until it stabilizes for the worse when his cousins all get locked in the maidenvault, then gets thrown into upheaval once again as baelor & viserys die and now his dad who is only around when he’s raping his mom is suddenly back in town and has total control.

and naerys. she’s like if aemma lived long enough to parent her kids, but worse bc you could argue there was fondness of a sort between aemma & viserys. aegon and naerys hate each other. she is constantly pregnant and on death’s door from the age of fifteen (three years older than her father!) until the day she dies, in her early 40s. it sounds like worse than hell to me. it is a lifetime where the only source of comfort you have is the son you birthed at fifteen, because maybe your life is a nightmare but if you raise him to be marginally less evil, he won’t destroy the innocent little girl you know is going to be sent to court to be his wife. everyone else is actively holding you hostage and applauding you for taking the abuse so well. your whole life is screaming for help and all you get is tears telling you you’re so dutiful and brave.

and viserys just. watches it all happen. of course he does! his kids are simply ungrateful! he had to get married at twelve and his wife wasn’t born in westeros so they had nothing in common and at least they have a living father, they have no idea how lucky they are. why should daeron and naerys blame him when he gave them everything because he had nothing? it’s a shame it wasn’t naerys that offed this man. i do think she was his favorite kid tho and i bet he’s not subtle about it at all.

[lilianade-comics]

Did you ever have any more ideas for the AU where Dani was wandering around the ghost zone looking for Danny and had spellbound Vlad into helping? It was such a good inspiration for daydreams, for me, especially how Dani and Vlad interacted while she slowly grew on him. Probably because he’d be deep in denial to the point he wouldn’t notice why he was becoming more comfortable around her and not bothering to be as snappish, other than thinking he was just tired.

How do you think they’d reunite after the incident where Vlad frames himself to find Dani? I can’t imagine Dani would never want to see him again, so she might try to sneak back to places where she was with him, or summon him in secret. Vlad, once getting over the surprise she still wants to talk and what remained of his ego, might have no problem with interacting with Dani as long as she kept it private. And would Dani eventually want to reintroduce Vlad and Danny once she becomes more open with him? It seems like she might, to have a more honest relationship with her brother. To which Vlad would Definitely Not agree, his reputation could not survive it getting around that he actually was attached to this girl. That’s something they might butt heads about.

I think that after they separate, that's when Pariah Dark ramps up the conflict as the main villain (I don't really have many details fleshed out for the wider plot of the AU beyond Dani's personal quest, but I imagine that Pariah probably likes to eat the living people unfortunate enough to find themselves in the ghost realm, or the ones he can get his hands on at least, as Vlad mentioned is a thing that sometimes happens in that AU comic I did.)

Because Pariah's no doubt gotten wind of the whole "living girl is actively running around his kingdom looking for That Little Pest Danny Phantom and has also apparently magically bound his most Aggravating Rival" situation, he's out looking for Dani. I think Vlad winds up getting apprehended after leaving Dani to Danny (he can't catch a break in this AU) and after getting confronted by the Ghost King himself Vlad no doubt vehemently denies ever having gotten himself bound by a child, and he swears up and down that there is NO living girl in the realm, and clearly Pariah needs to invest in better spies, etc.

Through circumstances not fully fleshed out yet, this likely ends up turning into a "Vlad wrestles with his conscience and his ego and finally gives up and escapes Pariah & returns to Dani in an attempt to persuade her to leave the ghost realm before the Ghost King eats her" kind of deal. Because Vlad cares about her! Which is highly unusual for him and he doesn't really like it! Having feelings is stressing him out!

Vlad definitely tries to do this secretly, but Dani gets her brother involved anyway. The context of how Vlad and Dani are actually friendly with each other takes a lot of explaining. (Danny probably laughs for about thirty straight minutes when his sister recounts the magic binding part of the story. Vlad looks ready to throttle him but doesn't, miraculously.)

Danny and Vlad argue viciously over the whole thing, for obvious reasons. Danny is probably against Dani leaving; he's dealt with Pariah before and he's confident his crew can protect her. (Danny probably knows of some really good hiding places where she'd be safe, after all, he was never eaten by Pariah so clearly they have a chance!) He's mostly accepted that Dani is his long lost sister at this point, and he's not about to lose her so suddenly. Vlad is NOT amused, mostly because he's rapidly succumbing to parental brain rot and the children are refusing to listen to him. His whole reputation is actively crumbling around him, lol.

Again, details are all incomplete right now, but the vibes, you know? Vlad is a proud, lonely warlord who thirsts for power and attention and now he's been reduced to worrying about some dumb little girl who he "hates." She humiliated and bound him and he should be excited that Pariah is plotting to cook her on a spit. Instead, he's stuck allying himself with a bunch of fool teenagers who he also hates, all in a wild attempt to keep her safe. Rest in Peace, Vlad, because you're not coming back from this one with that reputation intact!

[alaydabug2]

Tag list: @sparklenarniawizard @imobsessed123 @thoughtlescat @ilikebookssomuch

Broken heart/Broken mind

Chapter Sixty-two

(Human AU)

Sophie and Keefe met in the children's hospital when they were little. Because of how long they were confined to the four walls of the hospital, they became very close during their stay.

As the years pass, they wind up being in the same classroom together due to their physical conditions. This makes their bond deepen.

But are they able to handle when life gets tough, throwing problems and complications their way?

Sophie collapsed into the waiting room chair. She pulled out her blanket she brought and started to get herself comfortable.

Ro took the seat next to her with a sigh. She rubbed the center of her forehead.

"I'm taking a nap," she decided. "I've been up for too long."

Sophie decided that was a good idea. She curled her knees into her chest, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make herself get drowsy. It was still dark out, but her anxiety kept her awake.

If she couldn't fall asleep, she took the next best thing. She pulled the covers up over her head and pretended that nothing else existed.

She wasn't sure how long she had stayed like that for, but when she didn't come back to the rest of the world until Ro's voice said, "I'm getting a coffee from the Starbucks down the street, Blondie. Wanna come with me?"

Sophie wiggled out of the covers, taking in a breath of fresh air. "Yeah, I'll go."

The drive there was painfully silent. They ended up stuck behind a car for ten minutes.

With the wait, Sophie asked, "How long will the surgery take?"

Ro pondered it for a moment. "Usually takes about eight hours without complications or anything unexpected."

"And if there are?"

"Could be a good while longer. I'm thinking it'll probably take nine hours, but it should go fairly smooth."

She glanced at the clock. It was eight am. Surgery had only been in for around an hour. It was going to be an extremely long day.

They made it back to the waiting room. Sophie decided to pull out her book and start reading. When lunch came around, her and Ro went downstairs to the Subway.

"Think he'll want a cookie when he wakes up?" Ro mused, staring at the baked goods.

Sophie shrugged. "Can always save it for later if he doesn't."

"Good point."

They sat down at one of the tables with their sandwiches. After a few minutes of eating in silence, Ro said, "I'm planning on moving back home."

That took Sophie by surprise. "Really? How come?"

She shrugged. "I just... wanna keep a better eye on Keefe. Especially while he's recovering. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to him and I could've been there to prevent it. Already talked to Bo about it. He figured it's a good enough excuse for his parents to accept it."

"How long do you plan to stay for?"

"Not quite sure yet. At least a few months."

Eventually, Sophie wasn't able to force any more of her food down. Her stomach was sloshy with her unspoken worries.

The two of them went back upstairs soon after. Sophie decided to give another attempt at sleeping.

It wasn't long after when a nurse had come into the room. Sophie was puzzled. It was only twelve thirty.

"Family of Keefe Sencen?" She said.

Ro raised her hand. "Yes? We're here."

The nurse turned in their direction, crossing the patterned carpet.

"Hello, my name is Livvy." She held a hand out. Ro shook it. "I wanted to inform you on your... son?"

"Brother," Ro corrected. "Fourteen years apart."

"Ah, sorry about that. Anyway, I wanted to give you an update on how surgery has been going so far. It's been more complicated than we were expecting." Sophie's heart dropped. "He's been bleeding more than anticipated. Needed a blood transfusion. He also flat lined on us for a moment a couple of times. Don't worry, we were able to get him back, but be prepared for waiting longer than originally anticipated."

The nurse turned to leave. Sophie tugged at her eyelashes. The thought of Keefe flat lining, made her lunch want to come back up. Tears burned her eyes.

Ro grabbed her hand. "Hey. He's alright now. They're taking care of him."

"I know," Sophie whispered.

"I heard what you told him before he went back earlier." Sophie froze. She hadn't meant for anyone else to hear that. "And I know you're worried, I am too. But he's made it this far. He won't go that easily."

She nodded.

Not much was spoken the next several hours. When Livvy came back to say they could come see Keefe, the surgery had taken close to twelve hours.

Keefe was still extremely drowsy when they were let back into his room. Sophie cringed when she saw the tube down his throat. The good news, however, was that he was awake and responsive.

Sophie hung back while Ro went to go see her brother. The nurses were working on him. When they were about to remove the tube, she came next to the bed. They started taking out a few of the IVs he had, one being in his neck.

One of the nurses loomed over him. "Can you tell me your name?"

He swallowed. "Keefe... Sencen," his voice was just above a rasp.

"Good job!"

A time later, the nurses finally dissipated, only checking in periodically. Sophie sat by his beside, massaging his scalp and holding his hand. Ro was running her hand up and down his arm.

Keefe reached out, trying to grab something. He whimpered a bit. Ro followed to where he was looking at.

"Water?" She guessed.

He nodded. She took the water and brought it down to his level. He drank it through the straw for a few moments before letting Ro take it back.

"I got a cookie for you earlier," she told him. "You want it yet?"

He shook his head.

After a while, he fell back asleep. Sophie curled up on the chair, trying her best to get comfortable.

"Do you want the pull out couch?" Ro offered. "I can sleep in the chair if you don't want to."

"I'm good," she assured.

Sophie pulled out Ella the elephant. She gazed down at her boyfriend. Her pulse felt like it was finally calming down now that she knew he made it through. The beeps of the heart monitor eventually lulled her to sleep.