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theladyofdeath · 3 years ago

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The Viscount Who Loved Me {Eighteen Part I}

TVWLM Masterlist

An A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfiction, inspired by the first 2 seasons of Bridgerton.

Written alongside @snelbz

Ships: Nesta x Cassian x Elain - Feyre x Rhysand - Elain x Azriel x Gwyn

Summary: (see TVWLM masterlist!)

A/N: Thank you for reading! I can't believe we have only 3 chapters "left" to post...This chapter also had to be split into two...

Tag list is at the end. If you’d like to be added, please comment below or submit an ask. :)

Dear People of the Ton,

With the social season coming to a close, I wonder if the Queen's beloved Diamond will secure a match? With one sister in social banishment and the other just broken at the altar...that poor family simply cannot deal with any more scandal.

Time's running out, Archerons.

The Suriel

It had been five days since Elain left Cassian at the altar. Five days that Nesta had not seen Elain, save for once the following morning when she’d tried to speak to her, only to have the door slammed in her face. After that, she’d given Elain all the space she wanted, avoiding her at all costs, taking her meals in her rooms.

But this morning, Nesta needed to get out of her bedroom. The floral wallpaper lining the room had started to look less elegant and more sinister. She’d noticed thorns in the pattern she’d never seen before and could have sworn some of the roses were coated in blood. It was only her eyes playing tricks on her, thanks to how little sleep she’d been getting, but she sat in the dining room, a plate of fresh fruit, eggs, and bacon before her.

She had just speared a piece of cantaloupe on her fork when two sets of footsteps approached the room. One of them halted as they walked in.

Glancing up, she saw Feyre striding towards her, taking the seat across from her, but then she looked to the door.

Elain was frozen, her jaw locked, hands fisted at her sides. She wasn’t looking at Nesta, she was staring at the marbled floor, which hurt even more.

Her sister couldn’t even bear to look at her.

Nesta looked at Feyre, who nodded with a small smile, before asking, “Elain, would you care to join us?”

Elain took a deep breath before entering and quietly sitting next to Feyre. She filled her plate without a word.

“It has been a good week,” Feyre began, simply, grasping on to any hope of conversation. “The ladies say there has been minimal gossip, and it has all been toward Lord Nazari. Elain has not been in the crossfire much.”

Nesta eyed Elain, but she showed no expression.

“That’s good,” Nesta said, clearing her throat. “I actually have heard from my sources, as well, that there are multiple suitors with their eye on Elain this season, even though it is nearing its end. Including Lord Vanserra.”

Feyre lifted a brow. “Eris?”

Nesta shook her head. “The youngest, Lucien. I believe he is Elain’s age.”

Feyre nodded, thoughtfully. “Ah, I believe I met him months ago during a promenade with the Prince.”

“I hear he’s very kind,” Nesta said, and tried to give Elain a smile.

She was staring at her plate. “I would appreciate it if you two did not speak of me as if I am not here.”

Nesta’s body tensed, but she nodded. “Of course. Apologies. As I was saying—”

“I no longer need your help, Nesta,” Elain said, stabbing a strawberry with a little bit too much force. “I am perfectly capable of securing my own match.”

You wanted Cassian although I objected, and we all witnessed how that turned out. Even as she thought it, Nesta felt guilty…no matter how true it was.

“Elain and I will both be attending the ball tomorrow evening,” Feyre said, as if to steer the conversation in a lighter direction. “Will you be joining us, Nesta?”

Nesta eyed Elain once more, and this time her sister was watching her, waiting for her answer. Her lips were pressed together, eyes hard. She had never seen Elain so angry, and to know all of that anger was directed at her only broke her heart. “No,” she said, and that heartbreak only grew when she saw the relief sag Elain’s shoulders. “No, I will be packing.”

Now Elain froze.

As did Feyre. “Packing?”

“I’ll be going to Adriata first thing Sunday,” she explained, pushing the fruit around on her plate. “It is one of the many stops I will make on my travels. I am going to see which corner of Prythian calls to me.”

For a moment, each of her sisters were silent. Feyre said, “But you love Velaris.”

“I do,” Nesta agreed, her breakfast feeling heavy in her stomach. “However, as already mentioned, I am needed here no longer. Feyre, you are the Diamond. I know of multiple suitors that are ready and willing to make an offer of engagement. And, as I said before, Elain has choices, as well. I have no doubt that you both will find your matches before the season is finished. It is simply time for me to move on.”

The silence grew, becoming almost uncomfortable. Nesta picked up her fork once more, but nearly dropped it against her plate when Elain asked, “When will you return?”

Eyes on her food, Nesta swallowed roughly. “I’m not sure. I plan to visit each court at least once, and if I find my home along the way, so be it.”

She could hear the unspoken words radiating off of her sisters.

Velaris is your home.

But it wasn’t, not anymore. Not after what had happened, what she’d caused, what she’d done.

“Then you must come to the ball,” Feyre said, and Nesta finally looked at them across the table. They both were dressed and ready for the day, hair perfectly styled and cosmetics applied with an expert hand. She still wore her dressing gown, her hair piled on her head and not a stitch of makeup on her face.

“I have too much to do,” she argued.

“Feyre is right,” Elain said, clearing her throat. She cut into the pastry on her plate. “If it is indeed your last night in Velaris, we must properly send you off.”

She couldn’t bear it, knew who would be there. She hasn’t seen Cassian since he’d kissed her and she’d asked him to meet her after the ball in the woods beside his home. It had almost been a week and she hadn’t decided whether or not that was a foolish decision on her part. She also hadn’t decided if she were indeed going to meet him.

“I have nothing to wear,” Nesta said at last, and it wasn’t a lie. She’d already had all of her gowns packed and stored. She wouldn’t be needing them on the road.

It was Feyre who snorted. “You act like you don’t have two sisters of similar build.”

Nesta glanced between the two of them and down to her ample…assets. Yes, they were all roughly the same size when it came to their waist, but Nesta was nearly three inches taller than Elain and neither of them were as well endowed as she was when it came to her breasts.

“We can find you something in one of our closets, I’m sure,” Feyre said, smiling, and then nudged their sister with her elbow. “Right, Elain?”

Elain sighed, the rigidness in her body deflating as she said, “Yes. Of course.”

Nesta nodded, although nerves filled her body. She wasn’t sure if it was because she would be seeing Cassian or spending a whole evening in Elain’s presence, or if it was because it was the first social event they would be attending since the failed wedding. Nonetheless, her chest felt heavy, her stomach churned, and suddenly eating breakfast hadn’t seemed like such a good idea.

<.>

Elain had to get away.

She was feeling nervous about the ball, although most of the ton did seem to only frown upon Cassian for the incident. Yet, she was still embarrassed about the whole thing and feared showing her face at such a large social event.

So she went into town for a new pair of gloves, and took the long way home. She asked her driver to stop by the Sidra so that she could feed the ducks, which is what she was doing now as she sat alone on the grassy banks.

Until she heard his voice.

“Miss Elain?”

She looked over her shoulder to find Azriel, making the finery of his apparel seem casual as his hands rested in his pockets. He gave her a small smile.

“Lord Azriel,” she said, and returned his smile with one of her own. “A pleasant surprise.”

He nodded to the grass next to her. “May I join you?”

She did not hesitate. “Of course.”

He nodded as he plopped down in the grass and stretched out his legs, leaning back on his hands. She remembered the first time she had seen his hands, scarred with so many stories to tell. She thought they had been beautiful then, just as she did now.

“How are you?” he asked, after a moment. Usually, it would be such a simple question, but this time it was loaded.

She laughed quietly as she shook her head. “Would you like the honest answer or the one I have given to everyone else?”

“The honest one,” he said, without a thought. “Always.”

Her smile was soft as she looked down at the ground, but he watched it fall. She plucked a blade of grass and ran it between her fingers. “I am…okay. Which I know seems like I’m lying, but I’m not.” Pausing, she pulled another blade from the ground, dropping this one, and ripping out one more. “I won’t say that I’m not hurt, because I am, by both my sister and Lord Cassian, but I also can’t blame them. The way they look at each other, I don’t know how I was so blind to it for so long. It’s clear that they love each other and I cannot begrudge them that.”

Azriel watched her silently, listening to every word. He didn’t say anything, didn’t move, even as the tears slowly started to slip down her cheeks.

“And I did not love him and he did not love me. Maybe one day, we could have grown to love each other, but as it stands, I think…” She turned, finding his gaze. “I think I just wanted to be loved so badly that I took the attention of the first man who offered it to me.” Shaking her head, she sniffled once. “You must think it’s silly of me to still dream of marrying for love.”

“On the contrary,” Azriel murmured and when his warm hand covered hers, forcing her to quit picking the grass, she looked into his face again. “I think marrying for love is the goal everyone in the ton should have.”

She gave him a soft smile, one that actually reached her eyes. She nudged him with her shoulder. “Maybe I should marry you instead.”

Azriel’s body tensed, but Elain was laughing, quietly. A joke. It was just a joke. He told his body to relax, although now he could not, because the thought…

No, Azriel would never marry. He never thought himself to be a good husband, never thought himself to be the type to marry.

And it had been a joke.

Just a joke.

Azriel forced himself to chuckle. “Yes, what a pair we would be.”

“Indeed,” Elain agreed, and smiled at him. She patted his hand. “Whatever woman is lucky enough to have you, Azriel, is blessed, indeed. You are a kind soul. You have been my saving grace this season and I thank you.”

He was not sure how to handle her compliment. Everything in him melted at her words, but he would not show it. He simply nodded his head in appreciation and said, “Thank you, Elain. You have been that for me, too. And, for what it is worth, I believe you will find the soul in which yours loves. You will find that happiness.”

Her eyes shone again, and she squeezed his hand. Her words were hardly more than a whisper as she said, “Thank you, Azriel. Truly.”

He smiled, then looked back over the Sidra. The ducks were swimming near their feet, the sun bright and sparkling across the water, but he saw none of it. All he could focus on were those words.

Maybe I should marry you instead.

<.>

After everything that had happened, Rhysand knew that he could not stand by and have Feyre be hurt by their last encounter. Whether he could marry her or not, the last thing he wanted was for her to hate him, and he had acted like a complete ass.

The hurt in her eyes when they departed, when he spewed those hateful words, were all that he could focus on since the day on the river. Even with all that had happened, all he could focus on was the last time he’d had her alone, when he had completely broken her heart.

If Cassian had taught him anything in the last week, it was that life was fragile. Those you cared about deserved to know where they stood.

And, despite everything, he truly cared for Feyre, more than he had ever cared for anyone before.

With a few hours left before the ball, he strode up to the Archeron manor and knocked on the door. The doorman opened it a minute later and bowed. “Good evening, your Grace.”

“Good evening,” Rhysand replied, politely. “I was hoping to speak with Miss Feyre. It’s urgent.”

He nodded and let Rhysand in, leading him up to the sitting room where he plopped down on the couch, alone.

The waiting was agonizing.

After a moment of sitting, he stood to pace but then he felt foolish, pacing in a home that was not his, so he sat back down and twiddled his thumbs.

Feyre entered ten minutes later, alone. Rhysand expected a maid or someone to be with her, but no one was. He was grateful for it. Now, he could speak freely.

“Hello,” Rhysand said, lamely, as he stood. He added, “Good evening.”

Feyre didn’t laugh at his discomfort as she once would have, did not find it charming. “Good evening, your Grace.”

He flinched at his formal title coming from her lips. “I was worried you would be getting ready for this evening. I was worried you would not come.”

“When my doorman says there is a guest here for me, I respect them enough to show,” she replied.

They stood so far apart. The distance made his heart ache.

“What do you want, your Grace?” she asked. He did not ignore the harshness of her tone.

“I wanted to apologize,” he stated.

Feyre jolted, only slightly, her body language changing just enough for Rhysand to catch it. “For what, pray tell?”

He longed to cross the room, to get rid of the distance between them, but he could see the fire still in her eyes. He knew approaching her right now would not end well for him, or his balls, so instead, he tried to reason with her. “Feyre, I—”

“Don’t.” She took a step towards him, whether she realized it or not, and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t you dare think you can come in here and act like nothing happened that day.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do. Feyre, I’m sorry.” He took a chance and stepped closer, waiting to see if she’d retreat. She stood her ground. “I don’t have words to tell you how sorry I am. The things I said to you were abhorrent and I had no reason to, save for fear of losing the promise I’d made to myself. Instead, I broke a different promise. I hurt you, and I cannot even begin to apologize or make things right.”

Feyre said nothing. She simply stared at him, chin raised high.

“I have thought of nothing since,” he went on. He took another step forward. She still did not move. “Every time I close my eyes, I see you crying; and every time I am awake, I long to run to you.” He shook his head. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, containing those emotions within her slim frame. “I was a fool. Am a fool. Feyre, I have spent so many years resenting my father. I hated him, and if I’m being honest, I still do, even all these years after his death. I loathe my last name. I hate that I share his blood. I have sheltered myself for so long to get back at him that I have forgotten what it is like to feel.” He took another step closer. Feyre did not move. “But you made me feel. You made me feel everything. You made me feel what I feared I would always feel for someone, because it meant that keeping that promise, that vow, to my father…” his words fell off and he sighed. “I’m conflicted. And I know that is no excuse, for there is no excuse for the words I said that I can’t take back, but that is how I feel.”

Feyre’s eyes welled with tears, but she did not balk away from him. Her posture did not waver, her chin did not dip. “And how is it that you truly feel, your Grace?”

Her words were hard, clipped, filled with so much emotion that Rhysand felt his heart being grabbed and twisted. “I care for you. I have cared for you since the moment I met you, since your sassy tongue fought against my every word, since I danced with you and kissed you and held you close. Feyre, I—“

His words quieted and a tear fell down her cheek. “You can’t even say it,” she breathed.

“Letting that truth see the light of day would do nothing but hurt us both,” he said, reaching for her. As his fingers grazed her skin, he expected her to jerk back, to tell him to get out, but she didn’t. He took her fingers in his and a tremor ran through her at his touch. “Admitting the truth to you will change nothing. I still cannot marry you, Feyre, no matter how much my heart may cry out for you.”

Cursing himself, he watched as fresh tears ran down her face, yet she still let him hold her hand. “You truly hate your father more than you love me,” she breathed, and it wasn’t a question.

Rhysand hung his head, hatred coursing through his veins. He didn’t know why he went to Feyre’s, didn’t know why he was standing before her now. He was only causing them both further anguish.

Because the truth of the matter was yes, he loved her. He was so madly in love with her that his body ached when he wasn’t around her. He only dreamt of her, and longed to be around her from the minute he woke up until the second he closed his eyes for the night. He thought of no other woman, didn’t even look another woman’s way. And if he did, none compared. She was his everything.

But this vow to his father…

He had made it when his father was dying. They were the last words Rhysand ever spoke to his father. It was all he cared about, every social season, since the day his father died.

Until now.

“You don’t understand,” he said, refusing to meet her gaze, even though her hand remained in his.

“Then help me understand,” she said, and her voice broke.

Rhysand looked up at her and everything within him disintegrated. He couldn’t help her understand because he didn’t understand it himself. All he knew was how he felt, even if those feelings made no sense.

He cupped her face and dropped his forehead against hers. “All you need to understand is how I long for you, Feyre. You have completely and utterly consumed me.”

Her eyes closed, another tear falling and he wiped it away before pressing his lips softly against the spot on her cheek where the tear had fallen.

She trembled beneath him. “I loathe you,” she whispered, but there was no bite in it. It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself.

It was okay.

He loathed himself, too.

“I want you to find a husband,” he said, their foreheads together, Feyre’s fingers twisted into the fabric of his shirt. “I want you to find someone who will cherish you, and respect you, and love you as you should be loved. I want you to find someone who worships you. You do not deserve this, what I have put you through, and I will never forgive myself for it. Find someone better than I.”

Feyre shook her head as she leaned back and met his eye. Agony. It was agony in her stare. It was heartbreak, torment, grief. It ripped Rhysand’s soul to shreds until there was nothing left. “I loathe you,” she repeated, and her grip of his clothes tightened. “But I would not trade a day with you for anything. Every minute was worth it, even if we can never be.”

“Feyre—”

She kissed him. At the touch of her lips, Rhysand’s body tensed, but it quickly relaxed and he swept her into his arms. One hand went to the back of her head, the other around her waist, holding her body up against his. That kiss deepend, and every ounce of Rhysand’s self control went with it.

Feyre’s hands dove into Rhysand’s hair, holding him to her as tightly as she could. As he tugged on her bottom lip with his teeth, she whimpered and he let himself memorize the sound. As his tongue swept through her mouth, he memorized the taste of her. As his hand splayed out over her lower back, running down over the swell of her ass, he memorized the feel of her. He wished it could be like this all the time, that he could kiss her as freely as he wished, that he could give her the future she dreamed. The future she deserved.

But that wasn’t possible.

Tearing his lips from hers, Rhysand breathed, “I should go. You need to get ready for the ball.”

Her hands remained in his hair, nails gently scratching at his scalp. “I do.” She pulled his face back to hers, lips barely brushing. “Will you be there?”

His eyes fluttered shut and he resisted the urge to shake his head. If he did, his lips would be back on hers and he would be lost in her again. “Probably not, but you should—”

The door opened, but there was no time to jump apart.

Both of their heads whipped around to see Nesta perfectly still in the doorway, brows raised. She looked from their mouths that were nearly together, to Feyre’s arms around his neck, to Rhysand’s hands on her ass.

She blinked.

Then said, “I heard we had a visitor.”

Feyre stepped back and Rhysand’s hands slowly fell to his sides. “Apologies, Miss Archeron, we were just—“

“Oh, I think it’s perfectly obvious what you were doing,” Nesta said, looking between them. “And it seems this is not the first time, is it? I had a hunch of where my sister would go in the middle of the night. It seems my hunch was correct.”

Feyre hesitated, but it was Rhysand who said, “What we have done is none of your concern, with all due respect.”

“Incorrect,” she said, and apparently it was the wrong thing to say because her eyes were now ablaze. “You see, it is my duty to marry my sisters, to find them husbands, and judging by the comfort you held in holding my sister’s assets, I am forced to believe that this little dalliance has gone beyond simple stolen kisses. I hope you realize and accept, your Grace, that it is now your duty to marry my sister.”

The room fell silent. Each of Nesta’s words were clipped, hard, directed to make an impact. Rhysand couldn’t breathe. Stupid, he was so incredibly ignorant. Feyre looked at him but said nothing.

“Truly?” Nesta scoffed. “Nothing to say for yourselves?”

“Rhys and I will not be getting married.” Feyre’s voice was just a whisper but it cut through Rhysand like a knife.

To his surprise, Nesta laughed. There was nothing joyful in it, but her laughter filled the room and Rhysand’s body tensed. “Oh, you will marry. There is not a noble man in this city that will take a defiled bride. He claimed you, he will marry you and I will hear no more of it.”

“Nesta—“

“If neither of you wanted marriage, you should have thought wiser before putting your hands and whatever else where they do not belong,” she snapped. “Viscount Lunasa, you will take my sister as your wife if you have any moral bone in your body. I know you are a gentleman. You must follow your duties as one. Now, I will kindly ask you to leave our home. We will make a plan to soon announce your engagement to the ton. Good day, your Grace.”

“Miss Archeron—“

“Good day,” she hissed, and Rhysand bowed his head in dismissal before glancing once more at Feyre. Her eyes were wide and she looked conflicted, so conflicted and panicked and scared. Rhysand couldn’t bear it.

He left, and when he did, he felt nearly worse than when he had arrived.

<.>

Feyre hadn’t spoken to her the entire carriage ride over. Elain hadn’t either, but that was to be expected. They had followed through on their promise to find Nesta a dress and it was absolutely stunning. She looked down at the shimmering dove grey fabric and sighed.

Her last ball in Velaris and she couldn’t wait to leave. The dancing and drinking and faked pleasantries had become taxing and she didn’t know at what point that had happened. The only thing on her mind was seeing Cassian one last time.

Well, that and the fact that she’d caught Rhysand and Feyre in a very intimate situation.

Her blood boiled, thinking of the audacity of Rhysand Lunasa. First, he’d ruined her reputation, rejecting her in her own social season. And now he’d not only sullied reputation but her body. He was a damnation to the Archeron family, but at least he would be a respectable match for Feyre to the rest of the ton. No one knew what had conspired between the two of them and Nesta would do whatever it took to make sure no one ever did.

Which meant Rhysand would marry Feyre.

As a server walked by, she saw that he carried a tray of red wine, usually reserved for the mama’s and lords. The women were expected to drink water, lemonade, or punch, but tonight, Nesta didn’t really give a damn. With a wave, she snagged the man’s attention and she took a glass with a smile. He hesitated, but she didn’t wait for him to say anything, walking away and up the stairs at the back of the grand ballroom.

Pausing halfway up, she looked around the expansive room. Elain was easily spotted, surrounded by not only the young ladies of the ton, eager to hear about what had happened with Lord Nazari, but also quite a few eligible young lords. The truth of Elain and Cassian’s broken engagement had not come to light, and although rumors ran rampant, none had come close to the truth. Aside from that, Nesta didn’t bother listening to them.

But then her eyes found Feyre.

Speaking to Rhysand Lunasa.

Her fingers tightened around her wine glass and she started down the stairs, going to demand that he either propose then and there or leave her sister alone until he was prepared to man up to his decisions.

But then she heard a familiar voice behind.

“Miss Archeron. How’s my former Diamond?”

Nesta spun around, a few drops from the wine glass sloshing over the edge from the hasty move. She quickly curtsied to Queen Amarantha. “Good evening, your Majesty. I am well. How are you?”

Her smile was sinister. “Lovely. It seems it has been a successful social season.” She glanced at the lords and ladies who danced with one another. “Has it not?”

Nesta nearly hesitated. She rarely hesitated, but this woman sent chills down her spine. “Yes, your Majesty, a very successful social season.”

Queen Amarantha’s brow rose. She watched Nesta with pure scrutiny for a moment before she added, “And yet, my dear, my Diamond has not secured a match…and with only one social event of the season left, might I add. I do hope I did not choose another Archeron only to find disappointment.”

Another. Because Nesta had been the first. She had disappointed the Queen, had shamed herself in front of the ton, and had made a mockery of her family. Elain, poor Elain, had not only one public heartbreak, but now two. Anxiety coursed throughout Nesta’s body as she stood under the stare of her Queen.

Perhaps that was the reason why she blurted, “Expect an announcement soon, your Majesty, for Feyre has found a husband, indeed.”

Queen Amarantha’s shocked expression only lasted for a moment before pure joy flashed across her face. “Truly? To whom?” She looked out over the crowd and found Feyre, who was still talking with Rhysand in hushed tones. Amarantha’s eyes swiveled back to Nesta. “Are you to tell me that someone has at last charmed the Viscount?”

“On the contrary, your Majesty, I think it is his Grace that has charmed my sister.” She looked down at the two of them. The conversation they were having was tense, but they continued to gravitate towards each other, always seeming to find each other. Nesta didn’t know how she’d managed to miss it all season long. “We were waiting to announce it, after all of Elain’s…excitement last week.”

Excitement. The most ridiculous way to explain what had taken place, but she wasn’t inviting conversation about it. With a silent prayer to the Cauldron, Nesta prayed that the queen would let it drop; she wasn’t prepared to lie about what had happened between she, Cassian, and Elain.

With a wave of her hand, Queen Amarantha cooed, “Nonsense. This is cause for celebration.”

Nesta hadn’t noticed the glass in her hand, but her heart stopped as the queen raised it up into the air and clinked her ring against it once, twice, three times. The entire room fell as silent as Nesta’s head, everyone turning towards their queen. From where they stood on the stairs, there wasn’t a single person who couldn’t see them.

Including Feyre and Rhysand.

“Good people of Velaris, I have exciting news,” Queen Amarantha called, voice carrying through the room. “Our Diamond has found her husband.” Even from across the ballroom, Nesta could see Feyre’s eyes widen and Rhysand’s darken. Both were settled on her. “I’m happy to announce that Miss Feyre Archeron will be marrying his Grace, the Viscount, Lord Rhysand Lunasa.”

There were shocked gasps and applause as people, which Queen Amarantha basked in. She waited as everyone turned toward the happy couple, offering congratulations or surprised glances, before adding, “In celebration of their union, the crown will take care of everything for the upcoming nuptials.”

Feyre and Rhysand couldn’t even pretend to be happy. Feyre was in shock, unable to form a complete thought, and Rhysand continued to stare daggers into her.

They were swarmed with people as the band continued to play, surely all of them giving their congratulations, and Nesta took that as her chance to flee.

If it wasn’t enough for one sister to hate her, the other one may as well, too.

She hurried out of the manor and to where her carriage awaited. She could send the driver back for her sisters but not before she got where she needed to go.

She needed to leave Velaris, needed to leave this life that had brought nothing but pain to those around her.

Before she left, however, she had to see him, even if it was just to say goodbye.

____________________________________________________________

@mariamuses @photofeesh @the-regal-warrior @gracie-rosee @irisofink @strawberries-and-reveries @zeppelin-and-unicorns @live-the-fangirl-life @cassianscool @clacings @argentumstella @cuppamelia @chillspritecranberry @emilyrose111294 @awesomelena555 @gengen64 @dontbenddontbreak @blueunoias @liliput2203 @sleeping-and-books @kindofawalkingpoem @thebitchydonutcollector @shedoessoshedoes @cretaceous-therapod @emily-gsh @annie-laur @impossiblehistoryofquotes @midnightrose-reader @beanl1 @shniya-hiiragi @towhateverend87 @deezrmuhsheeple @pintas3107 @sarcasm-is-the-best-insult @santkazoya @lady-winter-sunrise @themoonthestarsthesuriel @story-scribbler @swankii-art-teacher @lordof-bloodshed @sv0430 @dreammoutlouddd @katlady13 @lokisllama @mrspettyferr @missannieshay @live-the-fangirl-life @headinclouds48 @secretlycressdarnel @awesomethreedragons @lokisllama @littlehoneyybee @vicioux @cest-la-vieve @lokisllama @thewinterroza @aching-for-distance

#acotar #acosf #period au #bridgerton au #19th century au #1800s au #shacmc collab

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goggles-mcgee · 4 years ago

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Too Late: Luka & Kagami (commission for miner249er)

Chapter 6 of the commission for @miner249er

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Summary: Luka and Kagami just being there for one another and trying not to drown in their guilt and grief

It was mostly quiet between the two, Kagami had taken to channel surfing while Luka strummed his guitar aimlessly till he got sad and frustrated that he couldn’t find a melody. Then he would meditate before trying again. Mostly he was trying to get back into the music for his mom and Juleka’s piece of mind, he knew they were worried about him, he knew they noticed the lack of music in his life, but he also knew they knew why. Marinette. Even just thinking her name made his heartstrings tug painfully. How had everything gone so wrong? Him and Kagami had a plan, at the time it seemed like a good plan, but thinking back on it now he couldn’t help but see it for all it’s flaws, and there were...many. He felt like a fool, but he hadn’t brought up their failed plan because he knew Kagami could not handle hearing about their failure. He could hear it in her song, he could see it in her eyes, it was seeped into her very being, and all he could feel was pain and regret. That’s why there was no more music.

The “music” he would make would sound like his heart and his thoughts, and at the present they sounded like someone threw silverware in a blender and he felt like he was in that blender himself. Constantly hurting, constantly trying to get out and heal, but never being able to because he was too caught up in the motions. Once he had gotten the Snake Miraculous, he thought he understood the saying, “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” His power was all about learning from the “past” and that saying had always been something that had stuck with him. He thought him and Kagami were well prepared to handle anything with their plan, but the more he thought of it, the more he screamed at himself that they should have told Ladybug, they should have told Marinette, they should have said something, anything.

Romeo & Juliet had always been his least favorite Shakespeare play, he hated miscommunication in tragedies. It worked well as a plot device in comedies, but in tragedies it was just frustrating. Luka always believed people could be better than the famous star-crossed characters and everyone else in the play, he truly believed he was above that level of miscommunication. Sure he had trouble explaining himself, more often than not he used his music as his voice, confident it would make sure his feelings were communicated clearly. Then Marinette came and he found himself wanting to talk without his instrument as the voice, each day built his confidence, he had never been that confident in his talking abilities, and then everything crashed and burned. Miscommunication was the fuel.

He was sure if he hadn’t cried as much as he had already he would be in a fit of sobs at the moment, but as it was, Luka was all cried out. So was Kagami it would seem, whose mother uncharacteristically was actually giving her time to herself, time to grieve, and time with her “friends.” Luka knew the only friends Kagami had were him and Marinette, and there had been that air of almost more that hung above them all, but just thinking of that hurt him more than he could ever put into words or song. It was easier to deal with the heartbreak of the things that came to be and passed rather than the ones that hadn’t even had a chance to see the light, or even have the opportunity to be a proper thought that was discussed. No. No. He wouldn’t think about it. He couldn’t think about it.

“Luka? You okay?” He heard Kagami’s soft voice ask. He looked to her immediately hoping he wasn’t showing the desperation he was feeling, but at the tight smile he got in return he knew he failed hiding it. “Thinking about her again?”

He made a noise somewhere between yes and no. It was harder to talk when she disappeared, but he didn’t want to leave Kagami to have to interpret all his sounds so he cleared his throat and pushed past the lump that seemed to be stuck there no matter what he did. “Shakespeare.”

Kagami nodded and took a seat beside him on the couch and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Romeo and Juliet again?”

Luka sighed and nodded as he closed his eyes and leaned his head on top of Kagami’s softly. “I know it’s not technically history, but it’s a part of history and it made me think.”

“I would say stop thinking since that’s all you’ve been doing today, but I know that is not easy and not actually achievable.”

“If I could stop thinking that would be great. I just...she would still be here if I had-”

“If we.”

“If we had just communicated we wouldn’t have lost her...I...we…” Luka growled before sitting up and grabbing his guitar and playing an angry harsh cord. He held his guitar to his chest like a lifeline, his grip not loosening, the string biting into his skin and for a moment he wished it stung or imprinted but his callouses protected him.

“I know. I know. She...Marinette was my first friend. The first friend I had ever made on my own. Not one my mother made me have because it would be good for the company or because it would make me or her business partners look good.” Kagami started to tell Luka, of course he paid attention, Kagami wasn’t really one to open up about how she felt. Even with all the time she had spent with him and Marinette and all the encouragement they both gave her to be more open with them. “I thought...I believed our plan was foolproof. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t stop to think of human error, and everything that could go wrong. Marinette...Marinette and you gave me optimism Luka. I had never looked at the world or any situation I had faced with optimism. It’s not how I was raised. Or any Tsuguri for that matter.”

Luka didn’t know what to say so he held Kagami’s hand and gave it a squeeze for comfort and a way to say to continue if she felt comfortable. There of course was an anxious little voice inside his head that was screaming that, maybe, just maybe, if Kagami hadn’t spent so much time with them, everything could have been avoided but he quickly shot that thought down. He would never regret becoming friends with Kagami. Never. She was Marinette’s and his compass. She gave them control and direction when the two of them wandered too far. Luka was the calm, he was the ship’s wheel. He followed the compass and made sure to keep them all steady and comfortable, but he was always ready to change the course if they all needed the change of scenery.

At first, Luka thought of Marinette as the sea. Beautiful, full of life and emotion, taking care of all the creatures and life in its waters, and filled with creativity. Then she changed in his mind to a lighthouse, something that would call him and Kagami home, a safe haven, something to strive for. Again the image in his mind changed to her as their anchor. She kept them both grounded, she made sure Luka didn’t get too lost in his thoughts and she made sure Kagami didn’t second guess herself. She kept them safe. Marinette was all those things and more.

“But you guys,” Luka tuned back into Kagami and berated himself for getting lost in his thoughts, “you guys gave me optimism. I was no longer just thinking about the bad that could happen in things. When we made our plan, I thought I had been thorough, that we had been thorough. I wanted to believe we were doing the right thing. The intelligent thing. Most importantly, I wanted to believe we were doing the helpful thing. I was optimistic. I was hopeful. And in the end we lost her…”

“Kagami...There is nothing wrong with being optimistic.”

“Did I say there was?” She snapped before her expression fell and she held Luka’s hand in both of hers, her eyes teared up as she looked at him. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you didn’t mean it Gami.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

“Maybe not but you have already apologized. That’s what makes it okay.”

“If you say so...I’m just not entirely convinced, but okay. It’s just, I love that you and Marinette are optimists. I liked seeing things positively for once and not always thinking what could or will go wrong if I didn’t do things perfectly. But the one time I do so, it bit me in return. I...I hesitated Luka. Now Marinette is gone, the media only reminds us of her akuma and only wants to speak of her akuma and not the wonderful person she is. Except maybe Nadja and Aurore’s blog. It’s all that’s on TV, then there’s the whole Agreste situation that I would prefer not to think about but again, the media is focused on it.” After Kagami let all that out it was like she deflated and sunk into the comfort of the couch. Luka decided to join in and just flopped himself back into the couch and just stared up at the ceiling.

“Oh yeah...that. On one hand I can believe it, on the other I don’t want to but yeah let’s just...not get into that today. Maybe another day,” Luka grimaced at the memory of all the Agreste “rumors” flying around, and honestly he understood why Kagami would prefer not to think about any of that.

“Or ever. That could be beneficial too.”

“Gami. You know it’s better to face something than avoid it.”

“Perhaps, but avoidance sounds like the better option considering everything that has happened.”

“Have you spoken to Adrien at all?”

“No. Not since I found out he had no spine. And now...now I don’t even know how I would go about speaking to him. I do feel for him, but he’s not someone I consider a friend anymore. If anything he’s an acquaintance by necessity.” She huffed out with a shrug of her shoulder as she once more grabbed the remote for the TV and returned to channel surfing.

“Yeah, I get what you mean. It’s....talking with Jules has been hard. It was hard before, but now it’s...I don’t know. I know she wants to talk to me, I try to talk to her, but she won’t talk to me. She used to before Lila. Then we fought...we never fought...but she didn’t want to listen to me about Lila and her screeching of a song. Juleka got mad that I couldn’t see the “true” Marinette. She said I was blinded by my...my feelings.” Luka preferred not to remember him and Juleka fighting but it had become normal ever since his sister had started listening to Lila Rossi. After everything that passed though, Juleka wouldn’t even look at him unless it was in worry, like she couldn’t look at him. Not because he wasn’t worth her time, but because she seemed to believe that she wasn’t worth his.

In the simplest of terms, it was heartbreaking.

“Rossi has been exposed now though. She knows you were right.” Kagami said full of confusion, and Luka could admit it sounded confusing no matter how you looked at it.

“I think it’s because I-we- were right.”

Luka glanced over at Kagami and saw her frowning, “She’s angry that you, that we, were right?”

“I think it’s more shame than anger. I don’t doubt there is anger there, but it’s most likely directed at herself. Her song is all over the place…” He admitted with a sigh, he just wished that Juleka would open up to him like she used to so he could help. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew that something was happening at her school and it wasn’t good for her or her classmates. He hated thinking his sister was getting bullied but with Marinette’s rise to fame as an akuma and her almost cult-like following and those who raised her to martyr status all around, he wouldn’t be surprised if the “Akuma Class” was being “taught a lesson.”

“And yet she still won’t talk to you?”

“It’s...complicated. We are both not the strongest talkers, but it has always been worse for Jules. Now with everything that has happened…” Luka let out a frustrated breath and ran his hands over his face. Before him or Kagami could say anything else to add on to the conversation they heard rushed footsteps hurrying down the stairs towards them. Immediately, Luka recognized them as Juleka’s footsteps.

Juleka burst into the lounge from the deck, one look at her and Luka felt his anger rise. His sister’s clothing was ruined, her jeans that she had painstakingly sewn the lace to the outer edges of herself were splattered in paint and if he wasn’t mistaken there were rips on the knees. Her shirt looked wet and paint splattered, as did her hair, and one glance at her only visible eye told Luka she had been crying. She seemed startled to see them there and for a while none of them spoke, the only noise came from the TV where it had seemed to stop on a news channel since Kagami stopped her channel surfing in favor of focusing on Juleka’s entrance.

As soon as Luka stood up to comfort Juleka, maybe ask who the hell did that to her, she just as quickly shouldered past him and ran into her bunker with a slam of the door. That was another new thing, though not unneeded, they both got separate rooms after...after Marinette had helped Luka convince his mom they deserved separate rooms. Especially because of Jules and his ages and the fact a curtain wasn’t enough privacy but then there was the fighting due to the Lila and Marinette situation. It was just easier for them all if he and Juleka got separate rooms, his mom agreed, he knew it was because she noticed the tense silences and the loud music coming from them both during that time. So Kagami and Marinette helped Luka clean out another bunker room that had been used as a storage room and then helped him move in.

Luka didn’t know how long he stood there just looking at Juleka’s door but he came back to himself when he felt Kagami place her hand on his shoulder. He looked down at her to see her giving him a sympathetic smile and gave his shoulder a squeeze for comfort. It was grounding, but Luka’s heart still hurt at his sister’s refusal to talk to him or Kagami. He knew she needed him, and honestly he needed her too, he just wanted to be her brother again, and her be his little sister that was sometimes annoying but it was in a loving way. Everything had changed and Luka felt like he was on a sinking ship with nothing to grab onto for support except Kagami but he didn’t want to drag her down with him.

“I just…” He started, his voice tight with tears.

“I know.” Kagami answered.

“...Collège Françoise Dupont.” Both of their heads whipped towards the TV once they heard the name of that school. On the screen were two reporters that neither were very familiar with but they had seen the news channel in passing.

“Is that right? An investigation?” The male reporter asked.

“That is correct Robert! It has been confirmed by inside sources that a full scale investigation will be launched on Collège Françoise Dupont! Not only for its horrible negligence against The Protector but because of new reports made by students who no longer fear having to be akumatized since Hawkmoth has conveniently disappeared. Apparently the number of calls to the Board of Education was just appalling. As were the reasons behind the reports.” The female reporter announced with a plastic smile, but if you looked it would twitch every so often like she was fighting to keep smiling.

“I would like to say I’m surprised Madeline, but that would ultimately be a lie.” Robert quipped back with an equally plastic looking smile.

“Yes it would Robert.” The reporter called Madeline chuckled as she said that. “In other news still connected to The Protector, her parents will be getting an official apology from TVi Studios after said studio used footage of their daughter without permission written or otherwise.”

Luka and Kagami winced at the mention of Tom and Sabine as they knew the couple were having a hard time, but they had no idea that TVi Studios showed that segment without permission. Luka especially had a hard time believing it considering Nadja worked there and was a good friend of Sabine’s. Kagami looked particularly worried about this so Luka nudged her as a way to ask what was wrong. “Do you think they sued the studio? I don’t think M Dupain and Mme Cheng are in the right state emotionally to go through a lawsuit.”

“Well...they said it was an official apology so I don’t think they sued, which is good, because you’re right. They are in no state to go through a lawsuit or anything much at the moment.” Luka agreed.

“On to World News, there has been an amazing recent discovery in Northern Scotland. It has stumped the people, and historians. When we come back from the break we will talk about this historic find and what it means for the people of Scotland. See you after the break Paris!” Robert said before the commercials started up. Luka didn’t know why, but something told him that discovery was important.

Next Chapter

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practicalmagicintuitions · 4 years ago

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HC and NV relationship - 3 months forecast.

DISCLAIMER: If you will send me an Anon, I will answer in the same tone as your ask, opinion is written.

All information and statements made in this reading or any other post of mine are all alleged until proven to be fact and for entertainment purposes & usage only. All information stated is based on my intuition and my tarot cards. Opinion only. The readings have no intention to cause any harm to the individuals, people featured in it.

August

7 of Pentacles, The Hanged Man

These 2 cards are very interesting to me to see next to each other because both have a similar feeling. Based on those cards I would say seemingly their August will be still or boring, but under the surface the changes are there. Both cards mean reflecting, having a different point of view.

7ofP originally could mean that you made the work in the past and now you are waiting for the harvest, the fruits of your work. The card analogy and imagery is basically gardening. You put the seed in the ground and now you have to wait. I told you about this card before, how interesting it is, how 50/50 of its “reputation”. Someone thinks it's a positive card, someone is on the “not that bad but dull” side. For me it’s not the worst, not the best card, it is definitely interesting, you have to work with it. In a relationship however, I feel it means waiting. Waiting for some change but I personally feel there is not much hope in this. Like the situation maybe, potentially hopeful, but the figure on the card doesn’t have high hopes. Or he doesn’t appreciate what they achieved by hard work.

The other thing is, because Pentacles are material goods too, and it’s a relationship reading it could mean they are saving money for something bigger. Normally I would say it’s about saving for a house together or a wedding so for a life together, but the whole reading doesn’t support this. So even if in August something bigger is on the table financially, I don’t see this in their September-October. So the rest of the reading doesn't support this forward, but we will see. Maybe this is one aspect of the relationship The Hanged Man is referring to. This card is again, a new perspective, reflection, make some sacrifice too. So it could be that one of them or both of them are thinking about the financial basis of their relationship like, make it stronger by buying something together? Or shouldn’t do that because it’s not the right move, etc. The Hanged Man could mean one of them (or both) are not satisfied with the pace or the level of the commitment of the relationship.

It also could mean a relationship is on pause. So based on that I am not sure NV will go to the UK in August. He is there, probably for shooting, for work… real one, not FL one, and probably NV has his own job to do, so it could mean she cannot join.

In a more negative sense, it’s a fragile moment in a relationship, being neglected or both parties neglect the relationship.

And 7ofP is basically doing nothing just waiting. It could mean the start of a relationship was good, you two clicked and you thought that’s it. But that is not it. Not the end. You have to work on a relationship no matter how amazing it was the start.

September.

Usually, I pull only 2 cards for each month. I don’t want to complicate it and in the past, it worked quite well in the HC-NV readings. I already pulled my first when 3 cards popped up. I was hesitant a little, especially because those were face down so I could put them back easily, but my own rule is I keep 1-2-3 flying cards and I am only putting back if it is more than 3. So we have 4 cards reading here.

My first card was the Page of Pentacles. I have an unpublished reading on NV where I got this card and I felt it’s a meal ticket for her, like something she wants to secure herself. I don’t have this impression now, you should know by now cards mean many things and I don’t really see this in the surrounding cards.

Pages are messengers, they are the bottom of the Court food chain. And the Pentacles is the slowest amongst them. Which basically supports all I got for August. The slowness, the thinking, planning. It has very strong thinking about the future, goals are being set meaning. It’s also not an emotional card that deals with more security than emotions.

I think this is the continuity of August's realisations. I found it interesting that we have 2 pentacles cards in a relationship reading and both have the thinking, planning aspect which is more like the Swords suit. So I think even though it’s a relationship reading it deals with the material side of it too or the time aspect. How much time they are willing to sacrifice for each other and for this relationship.

Judgment, 2 of Cups rx, 3 of Swords.

Those cards fell off from the deck during shuffling.

Judgment is transformations, rebirths, karmic relationships. It also listens to an inner voice, inner call and I think this is important that the PoP is a messenger. It’s a wake-up call you cannot ignore. It’s a heavy card, but I am sure you already know this. It also means you are getting from a relationship what you are put into it. If you put little in it or jealousy, you will get back those. A major decision when you are considering the past (again, correlates with the 7ofP) when you make a decision in terms of the future. Moving on, starting fresh, turning pages. Those are all the Judgment.

I think with all of the revelations and wake up calls he will realize that the emotions, in the beginning, are not evolved into something else, something deeper. I got Page of cups 2 times as to how he felt towards her in the beginning and I said it was the puppy love, the teenage emotions. Now it seems he will understand it’s not any deeper than that. I know I am talking about him and how he feels even though it’s a combined reading but I feel this is about him.

2 of Cups rx could highlight various problems in a relationship, this emotion is “reversed” blocked because they are incompatible emotionally or there is disharmony, etc. The point is, it’s not a good card in a relationship.

And top of that the 3 of Swords…. I think this card could be both of them feeling some sort of heartbreak because the relationship is not what they thought in the beginning, but the Judgment is absolutely HC. I see from the very beginning that he has to make a decision, he has to call off the relationship because NV won’t go away. Probably this is the time for him to understand that after a period of reflection. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be affected by it and she will have some sort of heartbreak too.

Well, this is the interesting part, because 3ofSw is a classical heartbreak card ,because of its bland representation ( a heart with 3 swords in it) and this is still is, but because Swords are dealing with the mind, the intellect, this heartbreak could someone which comes from the mind.

What do I mean?

I mean overthinking, obsessing over thoughts, that we can have something together, or my ex will come back to me or when one built a whole life together with someone in their mind after a few months of dating, and in the end this house of cards just collapses.

It could represent both of them or just one of them to have those illusions, thoughts, but then the wakeup call of the Judgment hit them hard.

Since I am working with tarot on this blog I feel more and more that 3ofSw is a heartbreak but not necessarily a betrayal, cheating etc. It’s a heartbreak we mainly cause to ourselves. This doesn’t mean the others are blameless, but we have cards for that. I think 3ofSw is when you build your house on sand or your life on dreams and it collapses. Or someone hurts us with words. Words are the sharpest weapon, this card shows it perfectly ( swords - air - thoughts in tarot).

October.

Magician, The Hierophant rx.

Very interesting pair, had to focus on them a little. Both major arcanas,with one powerful male figure in the focus.

People usually love the Magician card and I do in other decks but not here. The classic RWS’s Magician is more like a trickster to me. A powerful one who is selling tricks and offering illusions. In a relationship it’s someone who is playing games. It could even be a disappearing act like on stage. Now I am here, you can see me, and then, you cannot.

Magician is also about communication. Once I read it could be about internet based communication and I find this interesting here. So I can see 2 options.

One of them is that they are continuing this relationship but struggling. Making an effort to keep the relationship without attachments. It could mean having a breakup but somehow maintaining the relationship on a non conventional level. Hierophant reversed is anything which is not a conventional relationship (conventional in terms of tarot of course, those were not conventional or didn’t exist when tarot was formed). So it could be a relationship without marrige, same sex marrige, open relationship etc. So even though I see breakup that doesn’t mean an instant separation or cutting ties completely, not if he is continuing to “keep back to exes because it’s easier” And in the October cards I don’t really see that NV has any influence or power what will happen. I think it’s very much of the outcome of the Judgment’s revelation and wake up call which is about him.

The other thing I see is that they have a breakup and one of them or both (separately obviously) are going back to the internet to date people, the internet as a non usual dating method. Or in the most drastic scenario I see a ghosting and this is about the Magician’s disappearing act in a cloud of smoke.

We have 3 more cards, this is the only thing I did differently in this reading. I pulled one card for HC and NV represents them during the whole reading and we have a bottom of the deck card. Let’s see the personal ones first. (very briefly)

NV - Knight of Pentacles rx

When this card is upright it is dull but loyal, hard working. No sparks, surprises, but stability, you know what you get with them. When it’s reversed, they are overly materialistic but lazy at the same time. The loyalty is not there anymore. Keep it mind you can be disloyal in many ways this does not necessarily mean physical cheating. As the PofP the KnofP is looking into the pentacle too, planning the future. So rx it could mean this knight is not really making plans or more likely doesn’t really understand the plan he makes won’t be long term. And this is again, 3ofSw… building dreams on something which is false. This knight is also impractical. Let’s see this, she was flying back and forth to him and probably she should continue this to keep the relationship alive. But this seems one sided and she has her own job, so I don’t see this as a practical solution Especially not in the middle of covid.

It also means that she thinks the relationship is boring, lacking any romance but she still takes this relationship for granted. Since pentacles are about resources and owning something I see a strong possessive attitude in this (unhealthy one). I think she really thinks this relationship is hers. She is on the high horse in terms of this.

HC 4 of wands reversed

He is insecure. As I remember I got this card once and I said there is some problem on the home front, that maybe it's still there. The feeling of not belonging. Because this is a relationship reading I think those feelings are for NV. This fits with the Hierophant rx and with the whole reading basically. He feels there is no solid foundation. Unsettling feeling, disharmony, happiness is gone. It also means he doesn't want to make a serious commitment.

And our last card from the bottom of the deck is the 8 of Cups.

This is also a classic breakup card as it means letting go, losing interest and walking away. It also has a realization that you are missing something and you need to change, leaving something behind. This is a soul searching, self discovery card however, I don’t feel this is a strong theme here. I just don’t think this whole NV fiasco will touch HC on a deep, soul level, not even we have the Judgment. I hope I am not right here. As this card indicates travel physical or inner one, so it could mean taking some therapy, leaving an emotional baggage behind. Means you have strength to leave an emotionally unfulfilling and unhappy relationship behind. It also means you are withdraw from a turbulent, dramatic situations like this whole relationship with NV.

I could go on for pages but all in all we have a strong theme of realization, not wanting to make commitments and breaking up, walking away. I don’t have any really hopeful cards, but this is not surprising, I’ve never got any happy cards tbh.

This is what I get, we will see. So many things will go under the surface, so probably we won’t know many things because it won’t be spectacular in any sense.

My wee community announcement is that I will take a break from the HC reading for I don’t know how long. I will just watch this facade and do reading on others. But I will keep continuing to discuss HC and this relationship here. If anyone is interested or has something to say, go on. I am here for it.

I hope you enjoyed this reading. Have a nice, blessed August.

#pmitarotreadings #tarot #tarotreading #opinion #allegedly #henry cavill #henry cavill girlfriend #natalie viscuso #celebrity tarot #sam heughan

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clairecrive · 4 years ago

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“Burn” - Bane x reader [Requested]

A/N: this is for this anon. Thanks again for requesting! I missed writing for Bane.

Warnings: angst

Word count: 2.5K

Taglist: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @sopxhiea, @shadow-of-wonder, @fandom--0verdose, @fuseburner, @kind-wolf, @innerpaperexpertcloud (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

The vastity of the night sky had always helped y/n ease her worries. Surely, whatever was bothering her couldn’t be as big and impossible to solve as she was making it out to be. Because, would you look at that? The universe is so big and we’re so small, so insignificant. and that applied to her problems too.

At least that was what she always told herself whenever she’d feel lost and hopeless. Thinking this way helped her put things into perspective. And sure, not everything was as easily solved but, even in that case, it helped a bit.

And so here they were, she and Bane were laying down staring up at the starry sky. Sometimes, they would spend it in silence, just enjoying the warmth and comfort the other’s body would bring. Others, like this one, they would easily fall into conversations about everything and nothing.

“Was there someone special in your life? Someone you wish to get back to?”

“You mean, romantically?”

He nodded.

“No. Single for life.” She did a peace sign to lighten up her embarrassment but Bane was curious and did not pay it any mind.

“You mean to tell me that you’ve never given your heart to anyone?”

“Well, if you put it that way I have to change my answer to yes. Being in a relationship with someone and giving someone your heart are two wholly different things.”

“Let me rephrase then. Have you ever been in love?”

She really thought about the answer, her mind going back to any romantic involvement she might have had during her life. Even if she scouted her memories, she found that it wasn’t a yes or no question.

“I guess,” not only was the word she chose explicative of her indecision but the tentative tone of her voice left no doubts as to where she was standing. But Bane was confused, to say the least.

“I’ve always been under the impression that love was one of those things where absolute certainty was involved when it came to its presence or absence.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I have had mostly one-sided crushes, you know?” she started but Bane could see the faraway look in her eyes and knew that she had more to tell but was lacking the right words. So he waited.

“I said ‘I guess’ because I don’t really know what love is. I mean, everyone has a different take on it depending on their experiences but I don’t think I’ve ever felt it,” she paused turning to meet his eyes, “once there was a guy I strongly had feelings for. Even that was one-sided though and it took me a long time to recover from that because he was my best friend at the time. Looking back to it, I guess it was love or the closest thing to it that I’ve ever felt for someone. It hasn’t happened again though so I don’t have anything to compare it to.”

“Maybe it wasn’t love, just deep infatuation. Or maybe I just confused my love for him as a friend for something more. I don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out when I fall in love with someone else. “ She concluded and refrained from correcting that when with if. she couldn’t see herself being as lucky as to have someone that cared about her and that loved her in the future. But Bane didn’t need to know that.

Turns out that those unspoken words had become a sort of oracle, ‘cause here they were now, years after they had that conversation. Just when she thought that she had found that one person to share her life with, to give her heart to, life quickly come into play letting her know that that wasn’t the case.

Because the man that had saved her from a destiny worse than death, who had given her hope and made her trust him to the point where she had felt safe enough to open up to him and allow him close to her heart, had now shattered whatever remained of it.

"So let me get this straight, first you save my life than you decide to keep me with you so you basically kidnap me, get me to fall in love with you, put me through an insanely difficult training so that I could stay with you but it was all done in vain because now you’re sending me away?"

"I'm not sending you away but you cannot stay here anymore. I’m doing this for you."

"And why is that? What changed?" and when Bane stayed silent she added, "what happened to 'I want you always' ?"

"I did not lie to you." His words were in striking contrast to the ones he had said before but y/n had learned to read him and could tell that this time he was not lying. But then the question naturally arises, what's really going on?

Nothing out of order had happened in the last few days. Bane and she had been the same as always, even his work had proceeded as usual. So what was it? What was she not thinking about? What was she not seeing?

Letting her mind go back through the last day to fat check that nothing happened, she went through their actions. Light breakfast together followed by a not so light tête à tête then they trained together until he had to deal with something for his work and she had occupied herself otherwise. She had called him to see when she could get dinner started and he said that he had a meeting with Talia first but had come right after. They had dinner and while they consumed their healthy and perfectly balanced meal she shared with him whatever came to her mind while he ate in silence. See, nothing out of order.

Wait a minute...

He went to meet Talia.

"It's her, isn't it?" Suddenly, everything was clear. She knew what had happened, what had changed. And she sneered at the pull Talia had on him. Suddenly, she understood but at the same time, the last year lost its meaning.

"I just wish I realized earlier that you didn't care about me as much as you said you did," turning she went to her cabinet to get her stuff, "I wouldn't have put myself through so much otherwise."

Nodding, she knew what she had to do. She had to leave. There was no reason to stay. Resolute and defeated she put everything her eyes fell on that was hers in a little bag. Clothes, lingerie, cosmetics, books. But when her eyes landed on the little box where she kept everything connected to him, her heart broke further and her anger was fueled.

In there, there was every present Bane ever gave her. Every little thing that made her think of him in some way. The letters he wrote her whenever spoken words failed him. She knew that going through its content would equal to a chronology of their relationship. If it was possible her heart broke even more. Everything she did to stay with him, everything he did to keep her now was all vain. She gave up so much for him, for a man. Her former self would be ashamed of her and knew that her heartbreak was contributing to making her feel something akin to that.

"Here," she said walking where he was standing, "take this. I don't want it anymore," and she threw it at his feet. The only acknowledgement on his part was a tilt of his head but it wasn't needed. He knew what it was and what she kept inside of it. He felt a pang in his heart but kept his face void of any emotion.

"I'll want you always," she said mocking his voice, still stuffing stuff in her bag and chuckled with mirth, "what a load of bullshit."

"Actually," stilling for a second, with a shirt cramped in her fist she faced him, "I am the biggest clown between us because I believed you." retrying her stuffing, shaking her head she added in a whisper, "I should have known better," but Bane heard.

As soon as he decided on this course of action, he had also prepared for her reaction. He knew her well and so far she hadn't done anything that he hadn't expected. And while he had been ready, he couldn't help but feel hurt by her words. He knew how she was looking at this situation, knew that his words had led her to believe it to be so. At the same time, a little part of him wished for her to oppose to his words, to see right through them and see that he was lying. That he had been honest when he had told her those things, he had opened up to her and meant everything. But knew that she was too lost to rage and hurt to think clearly. And it was also the reason why she was acting up and had thrown the box on the floor. He knew that she deeply cared about it and what it meant to her. He almost thought of offering some kind of comfort, to give her some hint about what was really going on. But knew that it would be unfair to her. After all, he was doing for the sake of her safety.

“You know,” her voice brought him back and his eyes were immediately drawn to her, “isn’t it funny how you man always pride yourselves to be strong and all that bullshit when even someone like you, who’s the epitome of masculinity and strength, at the end is totally subjected to a woman?”

They would always have this kind of conversation. Bane, being a leader of a huge army, had the tendency to be bossy. Even in situations when it wasn’t needed. It was just who he was and he felt the need to remind her of his alfa status an unnecessary lot of times. While she could enjoy this inclination of his when they were in bed, she definitely couldn’t stand it in their everyday life. And now, it made her feel stupid that she had to put with it and learn how to deal with it but when it came to Talia, he just did whatever she told him to. Also, this changed her consideration of him. What a clown. She had tried to warn him about his rather toxic relationship with Talia but he’d always get angry and dismiss the conversation either by leaving or shouting at her. She could remember their last fight about it like it was yesterday. It was also the first time that she had ever doubted her relationship with him. The first time that she had thought that maybe she had made a mistake by staying with him, by falling in love with him. Maybe she should have left as soon as she had rescued her. It wasn’t for the motive of their fight, neither her jealousy and worry about his relationship with Talia, but it had all to do with what he shouted her in rage that made her blood run cold and her heart shatter. For it was said that angry and drunk people were the more honest ones. And since that moment she couldn’t help but wonder if he really thought what he said to her or if it was just an impulse propelled by anger as he had explained.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have saved you.”

And then, as if that wasn’t enough, he decided to twist the knife further.

“I told you not to fall in love with me.”

As if one could choose who they fell for, she remembers thinking.

Those words still haunted her to this day. It happened a while ago and Bane had made it up to her, mostly. But it was in situations like this that they would come back and mock her for even forgiving him and thinking that he loved her as she loved him. To think that even a small part of him thought that it was best that he had left her to suffer in the hands of a sex abuser until he would have eventually tired of her and killed made her sick. How could anyone say something like that to another human being? One they presumedly loved? She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Bane had then explained that by that he didn’t mean leaving her with her captor but simply bring her with him and keeping her with him. Despite the fact that his explanation made sense, y/n still didn’t think it made things better.

And as for his second statement, it went mostly unmentioned.

Sure, that had been something he had told her in the beginning. It was after her training required them to spend most of their days together since he wanted to attend to it personally. Y/n knew that being in the military and with his past, it wasn’t easy for Bane to show emotions let alone let someone close enough to him to allow himself to love them. She understood that. She had a few things she was dealing with that made it difficult for her to entertain the idea of something more between them.

But that was almost a year ago. So much had happened in their life and between them that even though the words were not spoken aloud, she felt the shift in both their behaviours when it came to them. Hell, they even started dating.

Not that any of them labelled it that way. But that was beside the point.

They slept together, they ate together every meal, they lived together. If there was a band on both their left ring fingers and it was a more conventional setting, people would assume they were married.

While y/n didn’t like thinking about what they had in that way, she surely considered the commitment they had made to each other equivalent to a marriage.

She hadn’t considered Talia though.

Or at least, she had hoped that if she ever would try and come between them, Bane would stand up for her.

Turns out that she really was foolish.

“Whatever, I guess it’s not my problem anymore.” Giving him her back again, she closed the almost full bag and went to put on some shoes and coat.

“I don’t have any use for it, you should take it with you.”

“Neither have I. Burn it, see if I care.”

And with that, y/n turned around and walked out of their shared apartment at last.

It hurt to say the words, it hurt that things had ended to abruptly, it hurt that even after all this time he didn’t care about her, it hurt like hell but y/n was resolute in leaving all of this behind her. Yes, it wasn’t going to be easy and maybe it would be like leaving a hot fire trail behind her but at one point the fire would burn out, wouldn’t t?

It may take a while but she would be okay,

#bane #bane dcu #bane imagine #bane x reader #bane imagines #bane one shot #bane angst #like super angst #mention of Talia #bane x oc #tom hardy bane #TDKR #tom hardy x reader #tom hardy imagines

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theballadoffinchesandsaints · 4 years ago

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Let’s talk about the Vaincre trade:

(As I am writing this, only the first full chapter, July, has been published)

I’ve said before that I’m fairly certain it’s going to be Leo, but I want to walk through the thought process that got me there (this is long and unedited. You’ve been warned).

First, since this is going to be such a major plot point, I think it’s going to be a character who’s inner circle had at least a minor spotlight in the first chapter. These were Coops, O’knutzy, O’darwin, Thomas & Noelle (do they have a ship name???), Regulus (tho he’s obviously disqualified for not being a pro player rn), and Cole (with a bit of Dumo).

Additionally, I think a key component of this plotline will be developing characters so that they can stand on their own once separated from a crucial relationship (thematically, it makes the most sense to me).

With that in mind, let’s do some quick (yeah lol prob not quick) disqualifications from the list:

Remus: I know this is a more common theory (and god would it hurt) but Remus’ storyline is already jampacked with living up to the standards of the league, team, and public, as well as adjust to a new relationship dynamic with Sirius. On a more heavy note, Remus will have to navigate how playing hockey will interact with the trauma of Greyback’s attack and the resulting injury. I’m sure most of us inferred that this would be a plot point, but the idea was solidified in a snippet of Remus and the team discussing predictions for the top teams of the season.

Sirius: while narratively, I actually think it would be fascinating to see the lions learn to be a team without their leader and to see Sirius have to learn that there are other parts of the world he can trust, this one falls apart in both logistics and clues Hazel has already given us. Truly, I cannot imagine a trade in which it would make sense for the Lions to give up their beloved, talented, effective captain and first line center, especially after he just led them to Stanley Cup. And when someone asked Hazel about (I believe) what relationships would be highlighted in Vaincre, Coops made the list with the qualification that their storyline would largely center around Remus’s adjustment to the team. A Sirius trade requires long-distance Coops angst which, while possible, would be both difficult and against the spirit of the statement.

O’Darwin and Thomas & Noelle already have long-distance angst happening in July, so trading either Kasey or Thomas would miss some of the emotional punch we know Hazel is going to give us.

Cole: I mean, the kid’s a rookie. It doesn’t really make sense. Threads seem to be being set up with the Dumais’ baby sitter and maybe one of the new PTs? (I don’t remember exactly where I’m getting this from, but I’m near certain it was from Hazel’s tumblr). It seems like physical encounters are going to be a big thing with both of these relationships, plus all the obvious great storylines of a new rookie getting comfortable in the team, make it unlikely Cole will be the trade. Not to mention, there are no guts to punch with Cole. We love him already, but he isn’t close with anyone on the team yet. We’d feel disappointed, not devastated, if he got traded. We all know Hazel’s going for devastation.

Dumo: this one approaches probability for me. Dumo would be heartbreaking for every member of the team, but especially Sirius and Logan. It would also sort of follow through on a previous idea from a rough draft of SW where Dumo has a career-ending injury. All the players would have to learn to navigate life without a father figure, and it would break down the system of where many Lions rookies live. But this one’s all speculation, at least as far as I know. It’s not hinted at in July, and I can’t think of any snippets that suggest Dumo. Plus, it feels like all of the main POVs have been set up in July, and we know from the dreaded “of being a lion” snippet (in which said player gets called about the trade) that we do get POV chapters from the player who’s traded.

We’ll get back to O’knutzy later. First, some people who aren’t on the list that I feel are worth discussing briefly (tho these are unlikely for the reasons at the end of Dumo’s):

Kuny & Nado: Now, I remember Kuny’s “no trades, no trades” thing from Hazel’s tumblr. It hurts. It feels like foreshadowing. But, remember, Hazel has also said that these boys will both play a more secondary role in Vaincre. They’re both safe.

James: I go back and forth on this one all the time. Thematically, separating Sirius and James would be both heartbreaking and deeply interesting. James was a major force in bringing Sirius out of his shell, and Sirius would have to learn to maintain that without his best friend always by his side. James and Lily are also suspiciously absent from July. I know Hazel said they’re on their honeymoon, and I’m not disputing that in any way, shape, or form. However, it does provide ample excuse to become a new POV in August. However, I can’t find any snippets to really support it. And, just, in general, James as a character in Hazel’s fics (or at least in Solntse and SW) provides a stable backbone for the other characters. He’a developed as a character but stable and happy. This could be the thing that changes that, but, at the very least, it doesn’t fit the narrative role he serves in SW, and I think it would change the feel and character dynamic of the fic as a whole (not just of the team) too much for that to be the choice.

And then there’s O’knutzy:

Going into Vaincre, I asked myself: what are everyone’s plotlines going to be? Remus will adjust to the team and playing Greyback. Sirius will largely be his support system, tho some stuff may be done with his relationship with Regulus and/or moving on from any semblance of his parents’ influence. Dumo will welcome rookie Cole onto the team. James will be a new father. Thomas and Noelle will have long-distance relationship feels. Kasey will adjust to O’darwin, and probably also deal with his reoccurring injury.

And the cubs? Are in a happy, stable relationship with everything they’ve ever wanted. The seeds to a storyline regarding whether or not they choose to come out was definitely hinted at in July, but I don’t think it will be their sole focus. Thankfully, there is nothing pressuring them to come out currently. They think about it. They long to do it. But nothing has changed since the end of SW/CtC. If one of them was long-distance, that would change the dynamic. When you can always go home to your two loving boyfriends, it doesn’t hurt quite as bad when you can’t be affectionate when out with them in public. When you’re only in the same city for a day or two roughly every month (depending on which team the trade is with), every second you could spend holding them and don’t hurts more and more. Whether I think they choose to come out or not, I really don’t know. I think so, but I’m definitely not sure. But the real question is, which cub goes away and prompts this?

If it’s a cub, it’s definitely Leo. Hazel posted a snippet that just...says so much.

Do I even need to explain? She practically told us. I’ve spent over an hour analyzing nearly every prominent Lion when Hazel practically told us Leo was going to be the trade with this right here.

But I do have more to say. I don’t think either Finn or Logan would work well as the trade. The plot of them being separated was well explored in CtC, and I honestly just don’t think it needs more examination. They learned to cherish each other, talk to each other, love each other freely and honestly. Them being separated again would just hurt. It wouldn’t serve a narrative purpose.

On the other hand, I do think Leo’s character could actually benefit from some time alone. He had barely a few months as a full-blown adult, working in the NHL, before he entered a committed relationship with his two lovely boyfriends, both of whom had had years more time to live with and explore themselves (tho it’s not as if they were doing that freely). A couple of months or even years dating long-distance could force Leo to have some more adventures on his own and come into himself more. Then, he can fully return to his boys, his “long-lost lover[s],” and be more stable in his love.

In a similar vein, Logan and Finn have only had short amounts of time to make their leg of the relationship stable and happy in comparison to the time they spent yearning or heartbroken. Even in CtC, their reflex is to go to Leo first, which is, of course, perfectly fine and lovely and adorable, but I think they need to spend some time unlearning that knee jerk reaction.

Then, when Leo comes back (because one way or another, in canon or in my head, he will), all three are confident in themselves as individuals and in each leg of the relationship as well as the three of them as group. No one and no couple n e e d s anything, but they come back together because they all love each other, more than anything.

That’s what I think will see in Vaincre. At the very least, it’s what I want.

Vaincre is by the one and only @lumosinlove

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nitrateglow · 4 years ago

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Favorite films discovered in 2020

Well, this year sucked. I did see some good movies though. Some even made after I was born!

Perfect Blue (dir. Satoshi Kon, 1997)

I watch a lot of thrillers and horror movies, but precious few actually unsettle me in any lasting way. This cannot be said of Perfect Blue, which gave me one of the most visceral cinematic experiences of my life. Beyond the brief flashes of bloodletting (you will never look at a screwdriver the same way again), the scariest thing about Perfect Blue might be how the protagonist has both her life and her sense of self threatened by the villains. The movie’s prescience regarding public persona is also incredibly eerie, especially in our age of social media. While anime is seen as a very niche interest (albeit one that has become more mainstream in recent years), I would highly recommend this movie to thriller fans, whether they typically watch anime or not. It’s right up there with the best of Hitchcock or De Palma.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (dir. Sergio Leone, 1966)

Nothing is better than when an iconic movie lives up to the hype. Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef play off of one another perfectly. I was impressed by Wallach as Tuco in particular: his character initially seems like a one-dimensional greedy criminal, but the performance is packed with wonderful moments of humanity. Do I really need to say anything about the direction? Or about the wonderful storyline, which takes on an almost mythic feel in its grandeur? Or that soundtrack?

Die Niebelungen (both movies) (dir. Fritz Lang, 1924)

I did NOT expect to love these movies as much as I did. That they would be dazzlingly gorgeous I never doubted: the medieval world of the story is brought to vivid life through the geometrical mise en scene and detailed costuming. However, the plot itself is so, so riveting, never losing steam over the course of the four hours it takes to watch both movies. The first half is heroic fantasy; the second half involves a revenge plot of almost Shakespearean proportions. This might actually be my favorite silent Fritz Lang movie now.

Muppet Treasure Island (dir. Brian Henson, 1996)

I understand that people have different tastes and all, but how does this movie have such a mixed reception? It’s absolutely hilarious. How could anybody get through the scene with “THA BLACK SPOT AGGHHHHHHH” and not declare this a masterpiece of comedy? And I risk being excommunicated from the Muppet fandom for saying it, but I like this one more than The Great Muppet Caper. It’s probably now my second favorite Muppet movie.

Belle de Jour (dir. Luis Bunuel, 1967)

I confess I’m not terribly fond of “but was it real???” movies. They tend to feel gimmicky more often than not. Belle de Jour is an exception. This is about more than a repressed housewife getting her kicks working as a daytime prostitute. The film delves into victim blaming, trauma, class, and identity-- sure, this sounds academic and dry when I put it that way, but what I’m trying to say is that these are very complicated characters and the blurring of fantasy and reality becomes thought-provoking rather than trite due to that complexity.

Secondhand Lions (dir. Tim McCanlies, 2003)

The term “family movie” is often used as a synonym for “children’s movie.” However, there is an important distinction: children’s movies only appeal to kids, while family movies retain their appeal as one grows up. Secondhand Lions is perhaps a perfect family movie, with a great deal more nuance than one might expect regarding the need for storytelling and its purpose in creating meaning for one’s life. It’s also amazingly cast: Haley Joel Osment is excellent as the juvenile lead, and Michael Caine and Robert Duvall steal the show as Osment’s eccentric uncles.

The Pawnbroker (dir. Sidney Lumet, 1964)

Controversial in its day for depicting frontal nudity, The Pawnbroker shocks today for different reasons. As the top review of the film on IMDB says, we’re used to victims of great atrocities being presented as sympathetic, good people in fiction. Here, Rod Steiger’s Sol Nazerman subverts such a trope: his suffering at the hands of the Nazis has made him a hard, closed-off person, dismissive of his second wife (herself also a survivor of the Holocaust), cold to his friendly assistant, and bitter towards himself. The movie follows Nazerman’s postwar life, vividly presenting his inner pain in a way that is almost too much to bear. Gotta say, Steiger gives one of the best performances I have ever seen in a movie here: he’s so three-dimensional and complex. The emotions on his face are registered with Falconetti-level brilliance.

The Apartment (dir. Billy Wilder, 1960)

While not the most depressing Christmas movie ever, The Apartment certainly puts a good injection of cynicism into the season. I have rarely seen a movie so adept at blending comedy, romance, and satire without feeling tone-deaf. There are a lot of things to praise about The Apartment, but I want to give a special shoutout to the dialogue. “Witty” dialogue that sounds natural is hard to come by-- so often, it just feels smart-assy and strained. Not here.

Anatomy of a Murder (dir. Otto Preminger, 1959)

I’m not big into courtroom dramas, but Anatomy of a Murder is a big exception. Its morally ambiguous characters elevate it from being a mere “whodunit” (or I guess in the case of this movie, “whydunit”), because if there’s something you’re not going to get with this movie, it’s a clear answer as to what happened on the night of the crime. Jimmy Stewart gives one of his least characteristic performances as the cynical lawyer, and is absolutely brilliant.

Oldboy (dir. Park Chan-Wook, 2003)

Oldboy reminded me a great deal of John Webster’s 17th century tragedy The Duchess of Malfi. Both are gruesome, frightening, and heartbreaking works of art, straddling the line between sensationalism and intelligence, proving the two are not mutually exclusive. It’s both entertaining and difficult to watch. The thought of revisiting it terrifies me but I feel there is so much more to appreciate about the sheer craft on display.

Family Plot (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1976)

Family Plot is an enjoyable comedy; you guys are just mean. I know in an ideal world, Hitchcock’s swan song would be a great thriller masterpiece in the vein of Vertigo or Psycho. Family Plot is instead a silly send-up of Hitchcock’s favorite tropes, lampooning everything from the dangerous blonde archetype (with not one but two characters) to complicated MacGuffin plots. You’ll probably demand my film buff card be revoked for my opinion, but to hell with it-- this is my favorite of Hitchcock’s post-Psycho movies.

My Best Girl (dir. Sam Taylor, 1927)

Mary Pickford’s farewell to silent film also happens to be among her best movies. It’s a simple, charming romantic comedy starring her future husband, Charles “Buddy” Rogers. Pickford also gets to play an adult character here, rather than the little girl parts her public demanded she essay even well into her thirties. She and Rogers are sweet together without being diabetes-inducing, and the comedy is often laugh out loud funny. It even mocks a few tropes that anyone who watches enough old movies will recognize and probably dislike-- such as “break his heart to save him!!” (my personal most loathed 1920s/1930s trope).

Parasite (dir. Bong Joon-ho, 2019)

This feels like such a zeitgeist movie. It’s about the gap between the rich and the poor, it’s ironic, it’s depressing, it’s unpredictable as hell. I don’t like terms like “modern classic,” because by its very definition, a classic can only be deemed as such after a long passage of time, but I have a good feeling Parasite will be considered one of the definitive films of the 2010s in the years to come.

Indiscreet (dir. Stanley Donen, 1958)

Indiscreet often gets criticized for not being Notorious more or less, which is a shame. It’s not SUPPOSED to be-- it’s cinematic souffle and both Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant elevate that light material with their perfect chemistry and comedic timing. It’s also refreshing to see a rom-com with characters over 40 as the leads-- and the movie does not try to make them seem younger or less mature, making the zany moments all the more hilarious. It’s worth seeing for Cary Grant’s jig (picture above) alone.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (dir. Joseph Sargent, 1974)

This movie embodies so much of what I love about 70s cinema: it’s gritty, irreverent, and hard-hitting. It’s both hilarious and suspenseful-- I was tense all throughout the run time. I heard there was a remake and it just seems... so, so pointless when you already have this gem perfect as it is.

They All Laughed (dir. Peter Bogdonavich, 1981)

Bogdonavich’s lesser known homage to 1930s screwball comedy is also a weirdly autumnal movie. Among the last gasps of the New Hollywood movement, it is also marks the final time Audrey Hepburn would star in a theatrical release. The gentle comedy, excellent ensemble cast (John Ritter is the standout), and the mature but short-lived romance between Hepburn and Ben Gazarra’s characters make this a memorably bittersweet gem.

The Palm Beach Story (dir. Preston Sturges, 1942)

Absolutely hilarious. I was watching this with my parents in the room. My mom tends to like old movies while my dad doesn’t, but both of them were laughing aloud at this one. Not much else to say about it, other than I love Joel McCrea the more movies I see him in-- though it’s weird seeing him in comedies since I’m so used to him as a back-breaking man on the edge in The Most Dangerous Game!

Nothing Sacred (dir. William Wellman, 1937)

I tend to associate William Wellman with the pre-code era, so I’ve tried delving more into his post-code work. Nothing Sacred is easily my favorite of those films thus far, mainly for Carole Lombard but also because the story still feels pretty fresh due to the jabs it takes at celebrity worship and moral hypocrisy. For a satire, it’s still very warm towards its characters, even when they’re misbehaving or deluding themselves, so it’s oddly a feel-good film too.

Applause (dir. Rouben Mamoulian, 1929)

I love watching early sound movies, but my inner history nerd tends to enjoy them more than the part of me that, well, craves good, well-made movies. Most early sound films are pure awkward, but there’s always an exception and Applause is one of them. While the plot’s backstage melodrama is nothing special, the way the story is told is super sophisticated and expressive for this period of cinema history, and Helen Morgan makes the figure of the discarded burlesque queen seem truly human and tragic rather than merely sentimental.

Topaz (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1969)

Another late Hitchcock everyone but me seems to hate. After suffering through Torn Curtain, I expected Hitchcock’s other cold war thriller was going to be dull as dishwater, but instead I found an understated espionage movie standing in stark contrast to the more popular spy movies of the period. It’ll never be top Hitchcock, of course-- still it was stylish and enjoyable, with some truly haunting moments. I think it deserves more appreciation than it’s been given.

What were your favorite cinematic discoveries in 2020?

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letterboxd · 4 years ago

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A Cinematic Outcoming.

From Istanbul to Chicago, and C.R.A.Z.Y. to Spirited Away, Letterboxd member, writer and film programmer Emre Eminoğlu explores the films that drove his gay awakening.

“I see it as my duty to never shut up about how representation matters.” —Emre Eminoğlu

I was one of the luckiest ones, yet I had no idea how lucky I was. Growing up in Istanbul, Turkey, a predominantly patriarchal, conservative and homophobic society, my luck was being born into an open-minded, secular and loving family.

In this bubble, I was isolated from the struggles of the majority of my people. I was not bullied at school by my peers, I was not forced into being someone else by my family. Yet I still had that voice in my head. As soon as I realized something could be different with me, I became my own bully and forcefully adopted a fictional persona: ‘exceptionally normal’.

Coming out was hard, but coming out to myself was harder. Although I was perfectly aware of my sexual identity, I could not come to terms with the possibility of being ‘abnormal’. Cue cinema. Watching films was a way of escape for high-school Emre—it still is—and it was inevitable that I would come across some LGBTQ+ films. I was not consciously in search of a ‘truth’ about myself but I started seeing my reflection in them, as they slowly disarmed the bully I involuntarily created.

Twenty years later, now, as a 34-year-old gay man professionally writing on cinema and television, I see it as my duty to never shut up about how representation matters. Streaming LGBTQ+ shows on various platforms, seeing widely released, mainstream LGBTQ+ films, listening to the music of openly LGBTQ+ stars, and hearing words of wisdom like “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”, I am confident that the personal, inner bully that I created twenty years ago would not survive a week in today’s world.

‘C.R.A.Z.Y.’ (2005)

Jean-Marc Vallée’s C.R.A.Z.Y. (2005) was definitely not the first LGBTQ+ film I ever watched, but it was an invaluable juncture in my life. It was a hot summer in Istanbul, freshman year of college was over. One of my best friends, who had been accompanying me through most of my cinematic discoveries, told me about a French-Canadian film with this guy on the film poster with David Bowie makeup on his face. We headed to an independent theater in Kadıköy to see it.

Zachary Beaulieu was different. As the lone gay son in a family of five boys, he too was forcefully adopting a fictional persona, and his way of escape was music. He was constantly worried about how to be worthy of his parents’ love, how to realize their ideals of him, and how his difference and truth contradicted all of that. Zac’s 1960s basically mirrored my story in the 2000s. I perfectly muted the life-changing enlightenment I was going through and did not vocalize my inner screams.

In two hours, C.R.A.Z.Y. helped me realize my true self and admit my sexual identity after all those years. It was a personal threshold I had been longing to cross… but there was still a lot to go through.

‘Les Amours Imaginaires’ (Heartbeats, 2010)

Liking someone, falling for someone, being loved, dating someone, sex, refusals, misinterpretations, heartbreaks, break-ups, bad sex. On the other side of the closet, I was being introduced to new, sometimes euphoric, sometimes gut-wrenching experiences. But coming out to my friends was still a challenge. I was feeling so lonely keeping all these wonderful and horrible experiences in my chest.

But I was not alone: LGBTQ+ films were my life’s understudy. The same heartbreaks, worries, and disappointments I was going through were right there on the silver screen. I took note as two best friends, Francis and Marie, fall for the same guy and navigate their friendship in Xavier Dolan’s Les Amours Imaginaires (Heartbeats, 2010). I studied how a popular student, Jarle, falls for the new guy in school, but cannot risk his reputation to be with him in Stian Kristiansen’s Mannen som Elsket Yngve (The Man Who Loved Yngve, 2008) and I watched as close friends Tobi and Achim become lovers, until one’s need to keep everything secret threatens to destroy the relationship in Marco Kreuzpaintner’s Sommersturm (Summer Storm, 2004).

Things were not always accessible via online platforms and the internet, so film festivals were often the only chance to see the latest independent and queer films. Two of the biggest film festivals in Istanbul, thankfully, had LGBTQ+-focused sections; !f’s Gökkuşağı (Rainbow) and Istanbul Film Festival’s Nerdesin aşkım? (Where are you, my love?) felt like home.

‘Tomboy’ (2011)

Being the lone avid cinephile among my friends, I was used to seeing half of my festival picks alone. Even before coming out to myself, my hopes for a romantic relationship included, among other things, having a festival partner. When I, fortunately, found the one, I was delighted to have also found the perfect festival partner. Shortly after our first month together, the first film we saw at a film festival was Céline Sciamma’s Tomboy (2011).

Although I was a 24 year old cis man, I was more than able to empathize with the title character, a ten-year-old trans boy. With his family unaware of his true identity, Mickaël experiences the liberation of a fresh start when ‘mistaken’ for a boy after they move to a new neighborhood—finally able to introduce himself as Mickaël, not Laure.

Changing my career path, a new job in the creative industry, and a stable relationship had similar effects on me. I was still not completely out to my parents, or some of my friends, schoolmates, and acquaintances from my past, but I was freed of the obligation to explain anything to my new friends or colleagues. I would proudly introduce them to my boyfriend, or simply correct people by saying I was attracted to men during a conversation. The perfect festival partner turned out to be a perfect partner as well—over the past ten years, he has helped me grow and be proud of myself.

‘Weekend’ (2011)

We moved in together in the fifth year of our relationship. Right above our bed hangs a poster of Andrew Haigh’s Weekend (2011). At the time we saw it, it was just another film that we watched together and liked—no significance, no symbolism. It is the story of two young men, Russell and Glen, who are fascinated by the connection they find between each other, and are surprised how their one-night-stand evolved into the perfect weekend. When Glen reveals that he will be leaving for another country the very next day, it only makes their connection stronger, and their time together more precious. Being a timid and socially anxious person, none of my romantic relationships or my friendships had formed this organically. Even my first date with my partner was a disaster. We built what we have now over time, slowly and patiently. I did not believe in ‘weekends’.

And yet, one summer night, we met a guy on Grindr, as we occasionally did. What we thought was just another one night stand was in fact a transformative experience for us both. Intense conversation, a triple connection, the drinks we enjoyed instead of hurrying to bed, and the passionate sex turned that casual one-night-stand into a magical reality for us. We realized that we still had feelings and instincts to discover in ourselves and in each other. Over a week-long, unexpected, unpredictable polyamorous fling, we learned to act as one instead of two—only to find out that he was leaving for another country the very next week. This was our ‘weekend’.

‘Hamam’ (Steam: The Turkish Bath, 1997)

Thinking how LGBTQ+ films of other cultures and languages had played a significant role in some precious, threshold-crossing moments of my life, it was alienating not being able to feel embraced and represented openly in Turkish cinema. There were certainly multiple Turkish LGBTQ+ films or characters, but they were in films addressing more urgent issues—right to live, violence against LGBTQ+ individuals, honor murders, trans murders—rather than the nuanced experience of queer love.

Although I discovered it years after it was released, Italian-Turkish director Ferzan Özpetek’s Hamam (Steam: The Turkish Bath, 1997) was a mind-blowing experience for me. The relationship, and the sexual tension, between Francesco, the Italian heir to a building with a Turkish bath in it, and Mehmet, the young son of the family managing the compound, felt much closer to my story and my cultural, familial identity.

Aşk, Büyü vs. (Love, Spells and All That, 2019)

Today, I am glad to see more and more filmmakers finding the courage to maintain the LGBTQ+ narrative in Turkish cinema, despite the oppressive, intolerant and exclusionary policies. Some are telling the youthful, urban stories I was longing for at the time: In Leyla Yılmaz’s Bilmemek (Not Knowing, 2019), Umut, a high-school athlete from a middle-class family in Istanbul, is bullied by his so-called modern and open-minded teammates after not replying to a query about whether he is gay or not. In Ümit Ünal’s Aşk, Büyü vs. (Love, Spells and All That, 2019), Eren and Reyhan, two adult women reunite in the magical atmosphere of The Princes’ Islands on the Istanbul coast, decades after they were forcefully separated by their parents.

The story of me coming out to myself all started with an urge to escape reality through cinema, and on the way, I found films that gave meaning to my muddled existence. When I saw Levan Akin’s And Then We Danced (2019), I smiled as I noticed the Spirited Away poster in Merab’s room; this minor detail another reminder that I was not alone. Merab, a gay dancer who is part of a very traditional and conservative Georgian dance company, was dealing with similar challenges in his life. He was trying to discover his true identity in a society that does not celebrate being different. He was too, finding an escape in cinema.

Coming out was hard. It still is. A recent Instagram post by the 27-year-old actor Connor Jessup, who came out as gay two years ago, reminded me coming out is not a single moment, but a never-ending process, a ‘becoming’. He writes, “When I first came out, a friend wrote to me and said, ‘Now you can really start coming out.’ Start? I thought. I just did it. But he was right. […] I’m going to keep trying. I’m going to keep looking.”

I keep trying, and looking. Learning about myself, my identity, my relationship. And LGBTQ+ films keep helping and inspiring me, just as they did in my journey to accept myself and become the person I am today. This is the power of cinema; unconsciously, you see your past, actuality and possibilities through the stories filmmakers tell. And I am so grateful to these filmmakers.

Related content

The Ten Greatest Turkish Films of All Time, according to the Turkish Film Critics’ Association

Emre’s Favorite LGBTQ+ Films: a personal top 50

Queer Films in Turkish Cinema—a list by Atakan

The Top 100 Turkish Movies of the 21st Century: Emre’s personal favorites

#letterboxd #pride #pride 2021 #lgbtqia cinema #lgbt film #turkish cinema #turkish film #queer cinema #coming out #jean marc vallée

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glossyeon · 4 years ago

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natm || pt.1 || osh

*All credit goes to the creators of these images*

~𝘏𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘴, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮…~

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Museum Curator!Sehun x Sculpture!Reader

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: sexual content, oral m recieving, fingering, dirty talk, degrading names during sex, rough sex, nudity, explicit depictions of sex, Sad scenes, Reader is a sculpture?, Swearing, Lot’s of grammar mistakes, heartbreaking and heartwarming scenes ahead…

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1.6k

𝘼/𝙉: This has been a series that I’ve been dying to do for a very long time! I think Museum Curator!Sehun is such an uncommon paring that we need more of these days. Also inspired by Night at the Museum Movie Series... Enjoy!

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘮 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘖𝘩 𝘚𝘦𝘩𝘶𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘮 𝘊𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 12...

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

At the strike of 12 o'clock midnight you are given the chance to come to life once more. No longer do the Velvet rope barriers that keep you motionless throughout the day block your freedom. You’ve done the same thing each and every night for the past thirty years since you were moved to this museum. Roam the halls and exhibits with your fellow friends of art that are bound to the grounds of this grand building just like you.

There’s your sassy and confident friend HyunA, which is better known as the girl with the pearl earring. Constantly chattering and gossiping about the cavemen’s in exhibit B, or the newly arrived valuables that belong in the Victorian history section.

Then there’s your calm and collected friend Mona Lisa, but you just call her by Lisa. Quite popular amongst the mummies in the Ancient Egypt section for some reason that you cannot out your finger on. The three of you have been together for the past decades, stuck to be stared, examined, and pick apart by the public eye. It’s not easy, but it’s what you were all made to do.

Stay perfectly still and be art.

Be the magnificent piece of history that people label you to be.

That night was the same as any other. The booming chimes of the grand clock in the entrance of the museum signalled the time had come for everyone. The time to live.

Soon, the stiff marble that you called your hair turned to luscious black locks, healthy and shining with brilliance. The pale cover that was your skin melted off to uncover a radiantly glowing hazel one. No one could deny that the beauty you obtained was less than perfect. You were the epitome of beauty, confidence, and love.

“Jesus Christ I think I’m gonna need to see a chiropractor after this” you signed in pain as you cracked the remaining hardened parts of your body. Standing in place for 12 hours was exhausting and cruel to say the least.

“You’re a sculpture. How on earth would you survive that painful session with a chiropractor? Your fine marble would bruise and dent the minute hands are laid on you.” Absurdity was evident in the voice that came from behind you. A voice with too many thoughts that had been kept hidden for so long that just ached to be heard...

“Taemin-“ you started out, tired of dealing with this again

“First of all, how would you even meet this chiropractor? We are bound to the halls of this museum!” He stated as if you weren’t reminded of this everyday. “And what would the chiropractor even say to you if you show up to them? “Oh why hello there nice to meet you, you must be that hundred thousand year old sculpture th-“

“Taemin!” You shrieked in annoyance. It wasn’t long before you clamped the tall mans mouth shut with your hand and warned in a threatening voice. “I’m popular, I’m beautiful , and I have many many friends in this exhibit that wouldn’t mind making a few dents in those kneecaps...” you said, emphasizing many.

The boy gasped in horror and pulled away from you before gulping in fear from your series expression. you sighed and proceeded to leave, your white dress floating behind you as you tried to find your friends. “I have no time to deal with you” you explained, swiftly walking away.

He called behind you “it’s not my fault that I’m constantly surround by my thoughts with NO ONE to talk too” he huffed and pouted his lips in a frown that you could already tell was there.

it wasn’t long before the shrieks and laughter that belonged to HyunA filled the History section next door. You smirked, leaning against the wall with your arms crossed. You couldn’t help stopping to witness the scene of your friend right before your eyes.

HyunA’s voice and chatter was dripping with charisma and curiosity. As the girl sat elegantly on one of the museum benches, the Norwegian cavemen fought and huddled to get a glimpse of her beauty and an earful of her words.

“And as his deep stoic eyes bored into my eyes, I knew right then and there. He was to be mine. From the tip of my tongue, to the ends of my toes, he owned me. Every inch and corner”

your best friend seductively read out each word of the novel in her hands, passionately describing the lewd contents that were about to come.

“Don’t you think that’s enough reading HyunA?” I commented, walking closer to the bench. The cavemen immediately moved to create space for the best friend of the woman they called their goddess.

I smiled at the eagerness visible in her eyes. “How on earth am I supposed to stop now when I’ve just started!” She explained, patting the heads of the cavemen like they were her pets. To be honest, they weren’t far from it, with their eyes overflowing with love and admiration.

“HyunA has taught us many important lessons during our nights!” One built and muscular man named Shownu stated, piling the agrees of many others as well.

One man named Chan then began to say, “HyunA has taught us the importance of love, sensuality, and passion” he declared, smacking his chest with his fist and roaring with pride. the others didn’t hesitate to join in as well.

Meanwhile, HyunA just seemed to stare virtuously at the men, admiring the fan club she had successfully accumulated during her read alouds. I shaked my head in disbelief and proceeded to swiftly snatch HyunA away from the male energy surrounding the room.

“HyunA” I begged. “Please don’t hang out with those men anymore, hm? It’s not good to waste your nights away by reading some fantasty romance to them” I tried to reason with my best friend but HyunA being HyunA, she didn’t hesitate to assure me.

“Oh Y/N,” she looked at me like I was a stray cat in need of help. “My time with boys like Shownu and Chan are just play times”. Brushing a hair behind my ear and while holding both my hands in hers, she went on. “I’m just trying to have a bit of fun before I meet The One” she declared, sighing at my clueless face.

I snatched the book that was still under her armpit and shaked it in front of her. “Reading the museum secretary’s hidden fan fiction won’t do anything to help you find love”

“give that back” she whined.

I pinched my nose bridge in disappointment and stress, raising the book high up in the air where she couldn’t reach it. As she was struggling to retrieve her precious novel, noises erupted from the ends of the halls.

“What now...”

The hallways outside the separate exhibits were especially loud at night. It’s a true mystery how the security guards and night shift workers don’t find out about us. Dinosaurs, extinct wildlife, and many many nude men were running rampant, overflowing with excitement and life.

“Yuna that’s a 4000 year old Naqada Vase your holding” I exclaimed, reaching out to snatch it away.

But Yuna wasn’t easily defeated. Being born of Victorian Royalty, Shin Yuna was quite a mischievous handful, never hesitating to get what she wanted.

“What, this one?” She smirked, dodging my actions and obviously playing dumb. Her small wrist went right through one of the handles, dangerously hanging it through one hand.

Letting out the 100th sigh that night, my footsteps carried me away from the chaos.

“If I don’t see it, I don’t know it” I mumbled to myself.

As HyunA and Yuna stopped to talk more about her petticoat, I made my way to the library of historical records. A place where not many of the historical artifacts went to enjoy their nights. But I preferred the quiet, peaceful setting as it was much more fun than getting pissed at by Napoleon Bonaparte.

Shuddering at the memory, I then opened the doors to the library. Greeted with the familiar scent of must and candle wax, I happily pranced along the endless supply of books.

Books from about the Ice Age to Modern Art surrounded me. My passion for reading could never bore me. Not in a million years.

I swiftly walked past the spines of each and every book, only to stop at an empty shelf. The section of famous poets and philosophers that I was just getting fond of had been apparently moved to the other side of the room. Frowning in annoyance I was just about to head back when I saw him.

The tall, slim, figure sitting at one of the tables, back covering the view of my presence. I stopped in my spot, frozen in fear as this man was definitely not one of the museum's peoples. At least not the usual ones on night duty.

The countless precautions put in place to avoid being caught by the workers and night guards had served its purpose for all this time. If there was anyone to see the magic that happened in these walls, we wouldn’t know what we would do.

Would we be taken away? Would we be shipped off to the CIA? Lord knows what would happen if I left HyunA and Lisa alone...

Although his face was covered with the cover of a book, there was no denying that his body was well crafted. The muscles under his black turtle neck stood out under the fabric, perfectly hugging his chest and arms. I felt quite a bit embarrassed with my sheer cloth dress, which was quite absurd considering practically everyone has seen the my crafted body. I carefully took a step back.

“The quicker I leave and warn the others, the better” I thought. Keeping my footsteps as light as I could, I made my way almost 2 feet away from the door. And that's when his words echoed in the silence of the library.

“You’re forgetting something aren’t you?”

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo fluff #exo angst #kpop fanfic #kpop series #kpop masterlist #oh sehun #sehun fanfic #sehun #glossyeon #fluff #angst #exo writing #sehun writing #kpop writing

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itsybitsylemonsqueezy · 4 years ago

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Okay, I’ve been putting it off, but it’s finally here. My KazuMaji playlist, which I have titled “Mad Dragon” because I think that’s a much cooler ship name : | This is informed mainly by whatever I’ve heard lately on FM radio and I’ll probably add to this as I go, but this hit my metric for being complete enough to post ^^;

Mad Dragon Playlist via youtube (I can also probably put this together via spotify if needed)

“Van Horn” - Saint Motel

Well, tell me do you me hate me? Or do you wanna date me? It's kinda hard to tell 'cause your eyes are looking crazy So why you coming over? Anything but sober? Looking like it's time tonight For fight or flight in Van Horn

I thought this would nicely start us off at the beginning of Kiwami 1. Like, look at those words and tell me you don’t INSTANTLY think of Kiryu. I sure as fuck did when I heard this song for the first time. This is defs Kiryu’s first impression of Majima and not knowing what in fuck’s name just happened. The eternal “Are we supposed to be fighting or fucking right now?”

“Take Me Home Tonight” - Eddie Money

Take me home tonight I don't wanna let you go 'til you see the light Take me home tonight Listen, honey, just like Ronnie sang, Be my little baby!

Ah, and with that, we enter what I like to call the Horny section. And nothing more appropriate than an egregiously horny 80s ballad. Really sets the scene I think. And an excellent counterpoint to “Van Horn’s�� confusion is the absolute certainty of Majima’s first impression here. His entire goal since meeting Kiryu is, well... to make him take him home ^^; Let’s be real. Absolutely no confusion about what he wants out of this. Horny, but also very sweet, just like our boy ❤

“Faith” - George Michael

Well, I guess it would be nice if I could touch your body I know not everybody has got a body like you But I gotta think twice before I give my heart away And I know all the games you play because I played them, too

I would be truly remiss to write a queer playlist from the 80s without doing credit to our king, George Michael. So, continuing the Horny theme, but also, as you all might recall, the leaping directly into Kiryu’s lap gambit didn’t quite work out. And this is about that nervousness, that hesitation. And if Kiryu’s not going to put out, so to speak, then Majima’s better off holding back a bit. This is a reaction to Kiryu’s, well, rejection would be a strong word, but at least lack of reciprocation. Majima still wants him, clearly, but he’s reconsidering his strategy. Perhaps an early Kiwami 2 vibe.

“It Will Come Back” - Hozier

I know who I am when I'm alone! Something else when I see you, You don't understand, you should never know, How easy you are to need...

Don't let me in with with no intention to keep me! Jesus Christ! Don't be kind to me! Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

And so ends our Horny arc. The longing of this, the pining. As much as Majima knows he shouldn’t, Kiryu’s so... nice. He’s sweet, he’s tender. He’s so unbearably easy to fall for. He’s such a fucking good guy, it’s just... His helpless desire to be a part of that. Mmmm. This is a motif that stretches the whole of their relationship, but is certainly pronounced in 2 and 3. Hell, there’s even howling for fuck’s sake.

“Dragging Me Down” - Travis Love Benson & Yo! The Moon

Oh, this feels like a misstep, oh what a mistake! But I’ve fallen in with feelings that I cannot shake, The darkness that pulls me is dragging me down! And I think that I might be willing to drown

Ah, that inevitable horror. You’ve tried to resist, you’ve tried talking yourself down, you’ve spent time away and... yep, no, you’re good and in love. You’re fucked. This is a special kind of feeling, after the resistance, after the pining, the terrible realization that you’d give your life for this and there’s absolutely nothing you can do. Arguably, Majima’s felt like this the whole time as he’s always been afraid of what being in love with Kiryu will mean. But this is ESPECIALLY a game 4 feel. When there’s absolutely nothing you’re getting out of this, less than nothing, but you just can’t break with the feelings. You’re gonna die like this and tehre’s nothing you can do about it. Kiryu spends a bigger portion of his life than he would like to admit fighting against realizing this.

“Running Up That Hill” - Meg Myers

It doesn't hurt me, Do you want to feel how it feels? Do you want to know? Know that it doesn't hurt me Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? You, it's you and me

What comes after the terrible realization that you’ll die like this? The dedication. The resignation. If you’re gonna die like this, may as well make it worth something. BIG game 4 energy here. You may as well be playing this over the arrest scene. “Running Up That Hill” is a classic for any love story where some dumbfuck is stupid enough to be self-sacrificing and oh, look at that, we have two of them. “Running Up That Hill” is so gutting though because it doesn’t assume a happy ending. It assumes that if the trade works, this still all ends in tragedy. But it’ll be worth it. Make that big Game 5 energy as well.

“King and Lionheart” - Of Monsters and Men

Howling ghost they reappear In mountains that are stacked with fear But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart

And in the sea that's painted black Creatures lurk below the deck But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart

And as the world comes to an end I'll be here to hold your hand 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lion-heart

Another absolute classic. I think it’s illegal anymore to make a shipping playlist without “King and Lionheart.” I certainly have more ships than I can shake a stick at that fit this song. But it’s a classic for a reason. This takes all the dedication we developed in “Running Up That Hill” and argues that it doesn’t have to be tragedy. See, the problem with the previous is the sacrifice is one-sided and unacknowledged. “King and Lionheart” says what if we both knew? What if you let me do this for you? What if these were our roles and we were happy? It doesn’t all have to end in tragedy if we just... know. And that’s the real dream isn’t it? Be my king, let me be your lionheart. *stares helplessly at Kiryu Should Have Been Chairman AU*

“I Want You to Want Me” - Letters to Cleo

Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying? Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?! Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying! Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?

It was hard for me to decide where to put this, but I do feel it belongs on this list. “I Want You to Want Me” on surface level expresses a fairly typical expression of infatuated puppy love. But it’s the above, this part, that really strikes me. Because that isn’t just the adoring desperation of courtship. Didn’t I see you crying, didn’t I see you vulnerable, didn’t I see you broken, and didn’t I love you anyway? Didn’t I see you crying and didn’t it do something to me to see you like that? That isn’t just blind desire. I’m still not sure where this should go and I may find a better spot for it eventually, but this is about the fact that they get each other’s broken pieces. That there’s some deep, vulnerable shit to work through and... seeing it and still wanting to be a part of things, fuck, even still feeling that blind puppy love is... really something. This is certainly part of Kiryu’s love language. He never sees ugliness in people and he has a profound propensity to take care of others. This is a thing he wants to say.

“I Still Ain’t Over You” - Augustana

Hey, I'm the blood in your veins, I'm the cold when it rains, And I'm your heart when it breaks- Time, no it ain't on our side, I'm the truth to your lies, And I’m your tear, when you cry

This is a different kind of pining. This is that post-break up pining, the know-I-should-get-over-it pining. It’s not the pining you get when your courting. It’s not even the resigned to rejection pining. It’s that important part of getting over a break up where you’re still dealing with what it was you had or wanted and can’t let go of yet. Big Game 3 energy, but also Game 6. Because this also has a little hope for what still might be. There’s longing for what was, but also the possibility of the future. That’s what’s so confusing about it. Not knowing how to let go or what to let go of. I also just really like this song and I’m also just physically incapable of not putting Augustana in my playlists. You can really tell me generation there.

“With or Without You” - U2

And you give yourself away, and you give yourself away! And you give! And you give! And you give yourself away! With or without you! With or without you, I can’t live... with or without you...

To be honest, this song basically makes no damn sense. Because it’s not asking for anything, like... it has no solution. But it perfectly encapsulates the heartbreak of being in love with something that can never happen. Game 5/Game 6 energy if I ever saw it. Just... the rawness... the desperation. It’s a classic for a reason.

“Needing/Getting” - Ok GO

So I been sitting around, wasting my time, Wondering what you been doing. Aw, and it ain't real forgiving, it ain't real forgiving, Sitting here picturing someone else living. And I, yeah I still need you, But what good's that gonna do? Needing is one thing, and getting, Getting's another.

So we’ve had the break up. We’ve had the heartbreaking realization that what we wanted can never happen. And now... we’re finally coming to terms with that a little bit. Finally going, y’know what? I may never be over this, but I should probably try to move on with my life anyway. “Needing/Getting” is at least admitting that this is a losing proposition. We may not be all the way to healing and, heaven forbid, getting over it. But we’ve gotten as far as... this is pretty dumb.

“My Love” - Sia

My love, leave yourself behind Beat inside me, leave you blind My love, look what you can do I am mending, I'll be with you

So... after you realize that this isn’t going to get any better and, maybe, you don’t like being heartbroken all the time... sometimes you try to let things go. Big Game 6 energy. There’s a lot to love, there’s a lot to appreciate. And letting go doesn’t mean letting it all go, it doesn’t mean forgetting or regretting. But it can mean... moving on. Taking all you loved and learned with you, but moving on. To not give up on yourself, to keep doing what you promised you’d do, sometimes you gotta. There’s a lot of endings in Yakuza and a lot we may have to accept. “My Love” is about honoring that and keeping that love strong.

“Somewhere Only We Know” - Lily Allen

And if you have a minute, why don't we go Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

But, then again, who says we can’t try again? After we’ve accepted our loss, our endings, who says we can’t be close to the people we love when we still love them? This is how I tend to favor post-5 and even post-6 thoughts. Why can’t we just have nice things? I mean... jeez, c’mon. Please. I like to think that after all the pining and regret, we could still come to terms. We could realize how silly we’re being and just... it’s as easy as just asking for a little time.

#Kazumaji #Mad Dragon #Lemon writes a playlist #Yakuza #I hope some of y'all are interested anyway ^^;

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charliejrogers · 4 years ago

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Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) - Review & Analysis

Here’s a non-controversial statement: 2017’s Wonder Woman is a legitimately great film (if you discount the last act’s boring battle). A fun, yet emotional anti-war tale with a great period aesthetic. What elevated it from greatness was its starkly bleak reveal that Ares does not start man’s wars, but he merely gives humans ideas for how to instigate them. Ultimately, it is Man who holds responsibility for our own destruction, and despite this Wonder Woman still chooses to help us poor creatures. Cool themes, cool hero, cool movie.

Wonder Woman 1984 shares the main character from its 2017 forerunner, as well as its dedication to recreating a particular period aesthetic (here the 1980s), but the brilliant writing from the first film is gone. The main themes are essentially… “be careful what you wish for” and “winners never cheat; cheaters never win.” Not the most grand and interesting follow-up to the prior film’s genuine insight into human nature.

But that’s OK. I’m really not sure why this movie is getting so much flak online. If DC’s recent prior history with filmmaking should have taught us anything, it’s that 2017’s Wonder Woman was a fluke. Remember that this is the same studio that brought us the outstanding climax to Batman vs. Superman where one grown man learns that another grown man’s mother is also named Martha. Oh, and did we all just forget that Justice League is one of the worst movies we have all collectively ever seen?

So let’s not be too hard on WW84 for not meeting the quality of 2017’s Wonder Woman. Few comic book movies can. In the more fair comparison to other movies in the DCEU, it sits below Shazam! and Aquaman, and just a smidge below Birds of Prey, but certainly above Suicide Squad, and then literally leaps and bounds over every other movie they’ve made.

Let’s start with the good. Honestly, despite my gripes about the themes of the movie not being very profound, I found the story to be interesting. The movie centers around Diana Prince (Gal Gadot in her role as an archaeologist for the Smithsonian and not as Wonder Woman) stumbling upon an ancient stone whose inscription invites people who hold the stone to make a wish. No one takes it really seriously at first, so two people make wishes without thinking they could come true. The first person is Diana herself who wishes to bring her boyfriend (whom she only knew for about a week, mind you) from the dead. As a reminder from the first film, her boyfriend Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) had died nearly 70 years prior to the start of this film in a dramatic, sacrificial, world-saving act. Apparently, Diana hasn’t moved on at all from the 1910s and still considers her short-time lover to be her forever lover. She’s not really a human and did not grow up a human, so I think we can forgive her for not moving on… but it is weird to imagine that Diana somehow works at the Smithsonian (without going to college? Or did she?) without developing any friends or interest in life. Wouldn’t she have moved on... like a little bit?

Anyways, she wants her boyfriend back, and that’s wish #1. Wish #2 comes from new character Barbara Minerva (Kristen Wiig… who I am shocked to find is 47 years old! She looks fantastic and far younger in this film). Were Barbara a man, the way she is treated by her colleagues would put them in the stereotypical role of a future school shooter. Barbara is a brilliant gemologist for the Smithsonian, but goes completely unrecognized for her brilliance. She is shy and unconfident, and subsequently people frequently forget that they have even met her. Add on to that the fact that she has to work in the same office as Wonder Woman, and her loneliness and subjective feelings of unattractiveness increase as male employees drool over Diana while they ignore and mock Barbara. Therefore, we would forgive her for having a chip on her shoulder. Yet, for all this, Wiig avoids playing her as an angry, emo goth. Barbara kinda has this air about her of “Well, this is just how life is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.” Given the character’s lack of self-confidence and lack of social grace, it at times seemed like Wiig was just reprising her old SNL character, Penelope, the socially awkward one-upper. But that’s not fair to her character. Wiig portrays Barbara with an earnest goodness to her. She’s one of those people who when allowed to talk one-on-one proves to be more eloquent and interesting than you could have imagine. Far from being angrily envious of Diana’s confidence and beauty, she’s more sadly jealous. Naturally, then, she wishes on the stone to be more like Diana… unaware that this wish might have some unintended benefits.

But then, there’s a third key character to the film (and a third wishmaker), the main villain Maxwell Lord (Pedro Pascal). I cannot tell you if this was a good character or not… and I cannot tell you whether the imperfections of the character are more due to the film’s writing or Pascal’s performance. Lord is another loser, and like Barbara, his “loser” status is the result of being a victim of America’s prejudicial attitudes. But whereas Barbara fell victim to sexism, Lord falls victim to racism. Hispanic in origin, Lord grew up in America with an abusive father at home and racist classmates at school. Beaten down from an early age, all he wants in life is to make a name for himself, to prove he’s not a loser. In a clever twist, Lord (the person who originally ordered the wish stone to come to America before it was confiscated by the FBI and sent to the Smithsonian for analysis) does not simply use the stone to wish for riches and power… he wishes to BECOME the stone. That way, he can get nearly infinite wishes so long as he can con the people around him to wish things for him.

The scenes of Max Lord as a flawed human who just wants to not be a loser show Pascal giving a great performance as a human being at the ends of desperation. The scenes of Max Lord the supervillain are… not good. In a long string of over-the-top, eccentric, hyperconfident supervillains in countless superhero movies, Pascal’s Lord is just not interesting. In fact, he is literally a weak character. He cannot fight for himself as his body is crumbling (a side effect of wishing to become a stone). Furthermore, his initially grounded motivations to finally be respected and successful seem to be just utterly lost by the end of the film when he just wishes for world chaos… only then to turn around and declare undying love for his son. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Failure to understand a character’s motivations casts a shadow over Barbara’s character arc as well. It is explained that the wish stone takes something in return for granting someone their wish. So as payment for bringing Steve Trevor back to life, Diana loses some of her strength. Still… this strains to fully explain why Barbara, after gaining Wonder Woman-like strength, turns into a walking humanoid cheetah (complete with bad CGI like she walked straight out of the cast of 2019’s Cats.) Like I get that she lost some of her humanity and morality in exchange for strength… but Cheetah girl seems like a little much. And though initially it is fun to see Wiig get to play Barbara as a confident and sexy woman who fights back against the patriarchy, the movie (I think) unfairly pushes her into the villain role. In my opinion, she should be treated as a tragic character, something akin to a Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, as her villainous tendencies are not really her fault. She literally had the part of her that cares about other humans taken away from her when she naively and innocently wished to be like Diana. Instead, the movie has Diana lecture her that she shouldn’t be so evil. She literally can’t, lady! Stop being so hard on her! In any case, it seems like a failed opportunity to generate sympathy for a genuinely likable character who tragically becomes a villain not through her own accord.

That failure to create genuine emotions extends to Diana’s story as well. As soon as Steve is resurrected, you know by the movie’s end he will be dead again. There’s no other way this movie ends. Yet, the fact that Diana is so stubborn in refusing to give up Steve makes it hard to sympathize with her. She is simply being selfish, making her eventual decision to say goodbye to Steve feel more like her finally doing the right (and obvious) thing, and not some heartbreaking decision. Also the fact that seemingly Diana hasn’t even tried to move on in the last seventy years doesn’t help matters for me: it more just feels like a lazy way to write in Chris Pine’s popular character into the second movie. The move certainly weakens the idea of Diana as a strong, independent woman by making her emotionally stunted and crippled for the last 70 years. It would have been a much more satisfying (and daring) choice if Diana had moved on from Steve emotionally and had to deal with the guilt of having brought him back by accident, particularly if he didn’t want to go back to being dead. Instead... Steve knows he has to go back and Diana feels no guilt keeping him around. It’s weak character writing.

These poor choices I contrast with two of my favorite TV shows that demonstrate perfectly how former lovers who miraculously reunite eventually have to say goodbye for good: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jane the Virgin. For risk of spoilers to those still watching Jane, I’ll stick to the Buffy example. There’s an episode of Buffy (though technically an episode of the spin-off show Angel) where Buffy and her vampire lover Angel are fresh off their recent and tumultuous break-up, but through some dark magic that neither seeks out, they are given the opportunity to live a life where Angel isn’t actually a vampire and their love can be fully expressed. Yet, in the end, Angel opts to give up his life as a human and return to being a vampire. The choice is so moving precisely because (due to circumstances I cannot begin to explain) in choosing to give up his life with Buffy, he saves her life as well. Whereas in this movie, Diana choosing to let Steve go is really just her choosing to undo her choice to essentially cheat death. Angel, however, is actively choosing to give up a life of happiness he never wished for but was just given on a silver platter, and will now live in a world where his lover will never know his selfless act and will go on hating him. It’s heartbreaking in a way Wonder Woman dreams it could be.

And not to get too Buffy-heavy… but that show also deals with the emotional consequences of being ripped out of the afterlife much better than this movie. Steve just kinda unrealistically adapts to being alive again in all of five minutes. If, perhaps, from the start he questioned why he was there and hinted to Diana that something was wrong, the emotional aspect of this story, the doomed nature, the feeling of “this is the last chance we’ll have together” could have made this a stronger movie. I wanted to find myself crying when Diana finally says bye to Steve, and I was no where close to that. Gal Gadot shares at least part of the blame. She’s a pretty wooden actress. It’s something I noticed in 2017’s Wonder Woman, but in that movie she was supposed to be a fish out of water so her stilted presence seemed appropriate. Here, where she’s supposedly become an assimilated American for 70 years… it is just bad acting.

Anyways, another aspect of this film that was lacking were the visuals. The bad CGI of Barbara as Cheetah is just scratching the surface here. The opening flashback to Diana as a girl performing in the Amazonian Olympics just… looks fake. I don’t know. The reliance on CGI over practical effects is clear and distracting. It’s only worse in the subsequent scene where Wonder Woman stops a theft from occurring in a mall. The effects are just bad. Like passable for a film in the 1990s or early 2000s. But for a 2020 blockbuster, it’s noticeably bad. And already the scene where Wonder Woman is running towards the camera with a weird green screen behind her seems to have become a meme given just how weird it looks.

And yet, for all the negatives I’ve listed, this is a decent action flick. There’s even some nice set pieces like the one in the White House. As little as I liked Max Lord as a supervillain, I found figuring out the other half of each of his various Monkey Paw wishes (i.e. the downside of each wish) to be clever. unfortunately, each of the main three characters fails to have a story line that takes full advantage of their emotional potential, or they are just poorly acted. With few exceptions, the film eschews “fun” in favor of “seriousness.” Really the only exception is, as in the first film, the chemistry between Pine and Gadot. Their chemistry makes for some of the movie’s best moments, like when Wonder Woman makes the plane they’re flying in invisible and the pair flies over fireworks on the fourth of July. But that sense of whimsy in their scenes is largely absent from the rest of the film. This is particularly true of the action sequences, especially those at the climax. The seriousness makes them rather boring. Really, I’m comparing these action scenes with the last half hour or so of Birds of Prey which really set the bar for superhero movie fight choreography. So in the end, it’s overall an OK movie. It certainly isn’t as bad as others make it out to be, but I cannot believe I’m saying this… in 2020 if you’re in the mood for a fun superhero movie, you’re better off with the Suicide Squad sequel than the Wonder Woman sequel.

**/ (Two and a half stars out of 4)

#wonder woman #ww84 #wonder woman 1984 #gal gadot #patty jenkins #chris pine #kristen wiig #pedro pascal

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seirity · 5 years ago

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Chihayafuru 3 season finale reactions and thoughts

I’m currently working on the last part of a series of posts regarding Taichi’s confession in episode 23, BUT I just wanted to write all of this down while it’s all fresh. So just bear with me a little longer. Sorry!! >_<

WARNING: There are definitely spoilers for episode 24 of Chihayafuru 3, so read at your own risk if you have not watched it yourself.

Things definitely felt rushed for the last episode of this season, and honestly, I think everything would have been perfect if they had a few more episodes this season, but oh well. We can’t have everything we want. If they ever do have a fourth season, I have a feeling they will actually go into everything in more detail. They didn't even really go into detail regarding Chihaya quitting in club and left out a lot before skipping to the part where she just quit the club completely. They left out that entire scene where she asks to leave after her match with Tamaru and didn’t even touch on how terrible Tamaru’s personality is or the tensions it causes within the club itself.

I’m also quite sad that they also left this particular scene out with Sumire.

I was really looking forward to how they would animate her saying those lines, but alas.

I feel like they wanted to leave season three on a more positive note rather than an ominous cliffhanger, which I actually really liked. Honestly, it took them SIX YEARS to animate the third season, so who knows when they will actually get around to doing a fourth season. Even though we have the manga to tide us over, it’s not the same and I would HATE having such a dramatic cliffhanger as the last episode of this season, especially with Taichi’s confession being the second-to-last episode.

While we didn’t get to see all the details of the aftermath between Taichi’s confessions or the powerful scene between Suo and Taichi on the bridge, I think ending it here with Arata’s message was a good way to end this season. In a way, we’ve come full circle. Taichi and Chihaya worked together to become stronger while waiting for Arata to find his way back to karuta. This time it’s Arata’s turn to return the favor and wait for the two of them to find their way again. If anything, it’s a beautiful reminder that no matter who Chihaya chooses in the end, there is an irreplaceable bond between the three of them that becomes a source of strength to all of them, no matter what what happens. And honestly, I think that itself is something rare, precious, and just beautiful.

Chihaya: “As long as we have karuta, we’ll see each other again, won’t we? As long as we keep playing, we’ll see each other again.”

With all of that being said, it will definitely be interesting to see how they try to fit in that entire arc with Tamaru and Suo and Taichi’s moment on the bridge, if they will even do so at all in the next season.

This particular episode itself was so beautiful. I was spellbound and honest to goodness just moved by how amazing the animation, the music, and the voice acting was.

The last episode of the season opens with this stunning animation sequence of the previous episode and it took my breathe away. Poem 48 is pictured in the background while you have Taichi and Chihaya in the foreground.

The music and the voice acting from Miyano Mamoru just pulls at my heartstrings and tears them apart. It’s heartbreaking and just so well done.

“Poem 48: Waves beating against the shore” is one that was written by Minamoto no Shigeyuki and is the title of this last episode. It is a beautiful poem that perfectly captures the theme of this season finale. However, I haven’t really found a translation of it that I feel honestly does it justice.

University of Virginia translates like it as such:

風をいたみ岩うつ波のおのれのみくだけて物をおもふ頃かな

Kaze o itami Iwa utsu nami no Onore nomi Kudakete mono o Omou koro kana

Like a driven wave, Dashed by fierce winds on a rock, So am I: alone And crushed upon the shore, Remembering what has been.

Where as Professor Mostow translates it as such:

Waves that beat against the rocks, fanned by a fierce wind— it is I alone

who breaks, those times when I think of her!

The one that Crunchyroll has done is beautiful and is probably the best one in terms of translating the poem so that it makes it easy to understand it’s relevance in this episode.

The scene in which Chihaya realizes she is the rock that Taichi was always crashing upon is such a significant moment. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful in such a tragic way because she realizes how much she has hurt him over the years. She’s matured to the point where she has enough self-awareness to realize what she has done and is emotionally distraught. She’s so distraught to the point that she is breaking down. She has no idea what to do and is no longer able to play karuta. Just looking at the cards is enough to remind her of Taichi’s confession and the aftermath that happened from it. It hurts too much for her to play.

The girl who LOVES karuta and is passionate to the point that she basically cannot comprehend others not enjoying it as much as she does, can’t play anymore. Just watching these scenes had me tearing up and my heart was breaking seeing how distraught Chihaya was. I know I’ve said it before, but Chihaya is earnestly thinking about someone else for once. This is HUGE for her.

Fukasaku-sensei’s explanation of this poem only further drives the nail in the coffin and just makes my heart break even more. With what little Chihaya has uttered to him in the midst of her breakdown, he understands what she is trying to say.

Yet, what truly brings me to tears is the next part.

Hmm I think I see another reference to spring here? Interesting, huh? (Please see this particular post here to read more about the meaning behind spring).

This particular part of sensei’s speach is poignant because it’s beautiful how karuta is able to not just be a sport that Chihaya is wholeheartedly passionate about, but also a source of comfort or wisdom that can help her understand her own emotions and struggles and has supported her all along. Karuta/the poems have given her the means to articulate her emotions and to me that’s something truly priceless. It’s amazing how karuta is a sport that encompasses athleticism, culture, and literature all in one, allowing athletes to connect with it on a multitude of levels. It’s complex. And for Chihaya to have such a strong connection to the game even in this sense, it’s touching and moving or 感動/kandou.

Kana-chan already has a strong emotional connection to Karuta, so it’s not a surprise that others can make that kind of connection to the sport itself. What makes this particular instance different from Kana-chan’s is the fact that Chihaya’s connection to karuta was mostly one based on the athletic aspect of the sport. Aside from the chihayaburu poem, Chihaya hasn’t really made/had a strong emotional connection to any of the other poems. I feel this is the first instance that demonstrates she’s made a strong emotional connection to the poems in general.

Also, it’s interesting because from this point onward, Chihaya tends to make and understand more references made using the poems, but I digress. Maybe I’ll write a post about those later.

As she’s crying, Chihaya tells Fukasaku-sensei that she can’t play karuta anymore. It’s here that as he hands her a textbook, Fukasaku-seni tells her to:

“Learn something. It doesn’t matter what. Just learn something.”

「学びなさい。何でもいい。学びなさい。」or “Manabinasai. Nandemo ii. Manabinasai.” is a difficult phrase to translate. First, there’s no subject here at all and secondly, he’s speaking in fragments. While I have no qualms with the translation here, I personally wonder if Fukasaku-sensei isn’t telling Chihaya to learn anything in general (i.e. study), but to actually learn something from this incident, despite the fact that he hands her a textbook. It doesn’t matter what she learns from this experience, as long as she learns something.

Switching gears here to talk about something completely different.

While Arata is not the person I hope Chihaya ends up with in the end, I do like his character and in this episode, it’s his character development that I really like. It’s only after the training camp at Fujisaki that Arata truly understands how amazing Taichi and Chihaya are and how impressive it was that they lead Mizusawa to win Nationals in their second year. He’s finally realized that there is personal growth in being able to rely on others and work together as a team. Arata has realized that it’s easier to focus on your own match, since you only have to worry about yourself and your opponent. However, a team match requires a different kind of strength and ability: being able to focus on your own match and your teammates at the same time. He’s growing up and is learning to go outside his comfort zone.

Arata has also realized how much support and help he’s received from others over the years and that it’s time for him to give back. Hence, why it’s such a big deal that he’s reaching out to both Taichi and Chihaya now to help them in their time of need.

While I don’t remember Suetsugu-sensei going into much depth about how Arata is without Taichi and Chihaya around, I get the feeling that Arata doesn’t really interact or communicate much with others. He seems more of an introvert who tends to do his own thing. It’s not that he doesn’t want to interact with others, but more that he’s awkward and isn’t sure what to do. This is apparent when he suddenly realizes that he should be telling the team that he’s glad they went to Fujisaki for the training camp.

掛け声 or kakegoe is what the translators here have translated as “rallying cries” or “vocal encouragement.” It’s a hard term to translate because there isn’t an actual word for it in English. There’s no neat way to translate it. If I were to actually explain the word itself, it is actual a vocal expression that is used to help encourage others in a difficult situation or to help keep time just the same way we use “Heave ho” when carrying heavy objects with more than one person. Kakegoe can also be used in dance and is often used in yosakoi to help dancers communicate with each other during a performance and to help build a sense of camaraderie/support during difficult parts of a piece. Yosakoi is a traditional Japanese dance that is typically performed by large teams with members including men and women of all ages, as well as children.

He’s learning to become a leader and that’s huge character development for him.

The scenes where Arata has his inner monologue with himself in the car are really poignant and the spacing here is done beautifully. It’s something that the manga can’t achieve and can only be done in the anime. I absolutely love how humor still manages to fit into such a serious scene. :3

Not to mention the animation in this particular scene is beautiful and I hope someone makes a gif of it.

All in all, I am really happy with the season finale of Chihayafuru 3 and really hope that Madhouse is able to animate a season four. I am really looking forward to season four. Please let me know your thoughts. :)

#chihayafuru #ayase chihaya #mashima taichi #wataya arata #taichihaya #taichi x chihaya #chihaya x taichi

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foreverreadingbeautifulbooks · 5 years ago

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Jonsa Fic Recs: Season 7 and 8 Fix-It Fics

So I started to make a rec post per a lovely anon request and honestly I couldn’t stop once I got started (my love for these fics knows no bounds and I ranted about each of them in italics below). There are so many talented writers in this fandom and tons of them have poured so much time and energy into writing such amazing fics that I wish they’d been given the reins to write the ending of the show. I tried to arrange all my recs below the cut in order of when they diverge from canon. Enjoy these fics and be sure to give these authors all some love cause they deserve so much of it! <3

wolf, circle north by MissFaber

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 130,532

Canon Compliant through: 6x10

Summary: Sansa and Jon fought to take Winterfell, now they will fight to keep it— against a dead army and their king, a dragon queen, a lioness, and a schemer with a poison tongue. + an alternate season 7 & season 8

I just found this fic a few days ago and even though I’m not entirely caught up yet, I had to add it to the list because I am already in love! Every interaction between Jon and Sansa is so in character and so well-written. The slow burn is already killing me and I need more of it immediately.

and no net ensnares me by @athimbleful

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 130,532

Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: Since Jon left, Sansa has struggled to keep things together and she longs for his return. However, when he does return things only become worse. Jon learns about his parentage and doesn't know how to make sense of anything, how to fix the inevitable mess the reveal will create, or how to protect the people he loves. But at least, after all these years, the pack is finally back together. Then, one day, Sansa disappears. Post season 7 fic.

I adore this fic so much! Seriously, I pulled an all-nighter when I found this fic because as soon as I started reading it I couldn’t put it down! It’s that good! The plot is incredible the characterizations are great, the endings of the villains work perfectly in the story, all the Starks are so smart and actually use the abilities they’ve spent seasons gaining, and the ending is perfect! (I mean every fic by @athimbleful is amazing, but this one in particular is probably my favorite because I found it right when I was feeling down about the S8 finale and it helped remind me why I love Game of Thrones and Jonsa so incredibly much!)

they tumble down by @athimbleful

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 165,196

Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: He meets her gaze for the shortest moment before turning to look out over the woods, gesturing at it with a gloved hand. “Is this why you brought me here? To talk about memories?”

“No. I wanted to talk about marriage.”

When Sansa suggests it's time for her and Jon to marry, she means they should make marriage alliances with the other Northern houses. Jon, though, assumes she means they should marry each other.

A post s7 story where Jon and Sansa struggle to navigate their new political landscape while suppressing their feelings for one another, Arya does everything in her power to protect her pack, and Bran and Sam try to figure out how to kill the Night King.

This fic is amazing. I adore the plot of the fic and I always love a good Arranged Marriage AU. But I love this one in particular because Jon and Sansa are so soft with each other and it just melts me every time! <3

what do you want (that you do not have) by @athimbleful

Rating: Teen Current Word Count: 80,865

Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: When the Winterfellians learn that Cersei has hired men to kidnap Sansa, they decide that Sansa needs to run away and Jon volunteers to protect her. During their travels the tension builds between them--especially after Jon suffers an injury and they're taken in by an older couple. Because, in hopes of protecting their identities, Jon and Sansa have to pretend to be happily married and in love. Every day. In close quarters. For quite some time.

Takes place after the war against the NK is won. Not a kidnapping fic.

I love every second of this incredible fic, even when it hurts how in love both Jon and Sansa are with each other when neither believes the other could love them back. Fair warning that the slow burn is ssslllooowww (thimbleful is literally the queen of the slow burn) and every painful second of it is amazing! The result of this author’s fics are always so satisfying and I hope you all love it as much as I do!

A Heart That Offends by @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth

Rating: Mature Word Count: 44,583 Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: Jon comes home. Unfortunately, he brings Daenerys with him. The Northerners are furious, Arya can hardly look at him, Bran needs to tell him something important, and Sansa -- well, Sansa is haunting Jon's every thought. Just another post-S7 fic.

As with everything this author writes, this fic is so satisfying in the best possible way! All the characters are so beautifully written and the conversations and fights between Jon and Sansa are absolute perfection! Lyanna Mormont and Arya are both incredibly badass and the politics are amazing! I loved every second of reading it!

we are buried in broken dreams by annabeth_writes

Rating: Explicit Current Word Count: 49,373 Canon Compliant (mostly) through: 7x07

Summary: Sansa and Jon sleeping together before he goes to Dragonstone and when he comes back he finds out she is pregnant.

A full on s8 fix-it fic at this point.

This fic is so full of Jonsa feels that it makes you want to burst. Pregnant Sansa is so brave and amazing. I adored watching her find out everything she could about Daenerys and then use that information to her advantage. The fic is very well-written so enjoy if you check this one out!

victory is in my veins (oh ye of so little faith) by LadyAlice101

Rating: Explicit Current Word Count: 131,955 Canon Compliant (mostly) through: 7x07

Summary: “Jon,” Sansa says quietly, her hands twisting together in front of her. “Tell me the truth. Do you love her?”

He starts, eyes widening. “Love her?”

That’s all the confirmation she needs, but Jon rushes onward, stepping closer to her, hands outstretched and voice nervous, reassuring, as if he were a husband swearing to his wife that he loves only her.

“Sansa, no, no, gods, after this, I hope I never have to see her again.”

The Season 8 we deserved. (and that the characters deserved) (yeah i'll die mad about s8, sue me)

This fic was fabulous. It was genuinely so satisfying to read something with a better plot for the Starks (who actually talk to each other, what a concept?!) for every single episode of Season 8. (Seriously, any good therapist will recommend this as a cleanse for your soul! lol)

At Dawn We Break, At Dusk We Stand by misspensandscribbles

Rating: Mature Word Count: 55,758 Canon Compliant through: 7x07

Summary: "Forgive me," he tells her, his voice is almost inaudible but there is no mistaking the pleading in his tone. He must only fall to his knees before her, and then he'll be no different from the slaves and beggars she had seen in King's Landing.

"For what, your Grace?" she asks, her voice cold and detached. She sees him wince as though her words have cut through his skin, yet she remains unmoved. She cannot afford to let herself feel now.

He doesn't answer her question. Instead, he offers an explanation. "I couldn't allow the North to go through yet another war, Sansa, especially not one against dragons."

Oh my gosh, this fic! I’m in love with the plot and Sansa is so brilliant and badass throughout every second. The politics are to die for and the tension between Jon and Sansa is sssoooo intense. Also, I am also always a fan of Jaime Lannister as the sworn sword to Sansa and I adore their relationship in this fic!

oh you fool, there are rules (the reckoning begins) by by @cat-stark

Rating: Mature Current Word Count: 39,051 Canon Compliant through: 6x08

Summary:For some reason, it’s Theon Greyjoy’s voice in Rickon's head as he begins to run. “If you ever find yourself on the wrong end of a bow, don’t run straight.”

- or -

Baelish bastard. Lady Lannister. Lady Bolton. All names for one woman, the caged wolf who had learned how to play the game better than anyone. She would win the game for her family. She would do her duty to her king and country.

Never let it be said the daughter of Eddard Stark was without honor.

I adore literally everything about this fic. The plot is amazing and the characters have been written so beautifully. The author has managed to perfectly capture Sansa’s headspace, which is incredible to read. It’s been absolutely heartbreaking to watch her deal with some of the situations handed to her, but she does it with such love, grace, and political acumen that I can’t get enough of it. Please note that this is a complete Season 8 rewrite that has major departures from Season 7 and a few from Season 6.

To Be In Your Arms Again by ScullyLikesScience

Rating: Mature Current Word Count: 43,500 Canon Compliant through: 8x03

Summary: Jon goes south to help Daenerys win the Iron Throne. Sansa goes south to save him.

"In winter, I plot and plan. In spring, I move." ~ Henry Rollins

It’s amazing just how much the Starks communicating with each other makes me happy in fics now, but this fic has them working together very well and I loved it! I also truly enjoyed the political conclusion of this fic.

The Triumph of Winter by @foreverreadingbeautifulbooks

Rating: Mature Current Word Count: 28,754 Canon Compliant through: 8x05

Summary: Jon's heart constricted at the thought of his Sansa standing proud and defiant as dragonflames consumed her. “How could you do that?” he yelled. “How could you think that your death was an acceptable outcome?”

“You hypocrite!” she responded, throwing the accusation in his face as she stepped in closer, chest heaving in time with his own. “As if you hadn’t used your own life as a bargaining chip to save the North - to save our family. I can play the same game, Jon. I’ve watched too many members of my family die for me to surrender you to the flames, not when I might be able to save your life with mine! Not- ”

“Sansa!” Jon cut her off, aghast at her words as he stepped in and gripped her arms. “Your life is far more important than mine could ever be.”

She met his eyes defiantly, a fury contained in them that ignited his bones. “Not to me.”

- or -

The political landscape has changed in the aftermath of Daenerys Targaryen's decimation of King's Landing. As the wolves and the dragons prepare for another battle, the realm can only hold its breath and wonder who will win the Game of Thrones after this.

I hope it’s not too presumptuous to add my own fic to this list as I’m having so much fun writing my own Season 8 fix-it fic. This is my attempt to answer all the questions I was left with at the end of the season as most were never addressed. It’s filled to the brim with Stark sibling moments, Pol!Jon, friendships, political intrigue, magic, and, of course, Jonsa.

Brave, Gentle, and Strong by @the-last-of-the-starks

Rating: Not Rated Current Word Count: 12,991 Canon Compliant (mostly) through: 8x05

Summary: Jon and Arya return to Winterfell proceeding the sack of King's Landing to help rebuild their childhood home and a fallen Westeros. But will Jon and Sansa be able to rebuild their trust in one another and finally reveal their deepest, darkest secrets, or will those secrets tear them apart forever?

This fic is lovely and so far it’s been really interesting to get inside Jon and Sansa’s heads as they contemplate their relationship and everything that’s happened to them since they were first separated when Jon left for Dragonstone. As with many fics, I want to lock the two of them in a closet and not let them out till they talk to each other! I’m looking forward to more updates for this fic whenever they’re posted.

there is a crack, a crack in everything (that’s how the light gets in) by sansaswildlinglover

Rating: Not Rated Current Word Count: 12,991 Canon Compliant (mostly) through: 8x05

Summary: When King's Landing falls, Sansa marches south, still unaware that the future of the Seven Kingdoms lies in her hands, and that the peace she will broker comes with a price...

Sansa finds herself back in Winterfell, separated from her family by distance, duty and yet another secret, raising another bastard child as she rebuilds herself, the castle and the North.

Jon heals in the True North, finding his own worth again, and discovering that even after being lost, he can find purpose in his own heart and mind again, even burdened by the crippling guilt and resentment which will take him many years to learn how to carry and let go.

Ten years is a long time, but they say time heals all wounds. But what if time only adds more complications? Winter is always coming, and even family, duty and honour are at odds sometimes.

This one is currently on hiatus, but I am looking forward to when it comes back because so far the characterizations are really good and I absolutely adore the premise of Sansa raising a Lannister bastard in Winterfell!

Dear Jon by @sansa-in-the-north

Rating: Not Rated Current Word Count: 12,053 Canon Compliant through: 8x06

Summary: Sansa drops the quill onto the wooden table carved with the leaves of the heart-tree and leans back in her chair, letting out a loud, exasperated sigh. “Why do I struggle to find the words?”

Her sister’s grey eyes study her face attentively for a heartbeat. “Perhaps you don’t know what to say.”

“I do,” Sansa states without hesitation. “I know what to say.”

“But?”

Sansa shrugs, the thick grey furs draped over her shoulders rising and falling. “I don’t know if he’d like to hear from me.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

[…]

Jon rises from his seat and folds the letter, holding it tight in his hand, and strides towards the exit doors of the common hall. He looks for some parchment and a quill, and when he finds everything he needs, he takes a deep sigh and prays that his words do not fail him. She apologised, but I’m the one who should ask for forgiveness.

***

Post s8 (partially) epistolary fic in which Sansa and Jon begin exchanging letters to find comfort, solace and, eventually, forgiveness.

This fic is exactly what I hoped it would be when I found a link to it. The letters are sweet and sad and it’s good to see my darling Starks reaching out to each other after everything they’ve been through.

all that's left are your bones by @cat-stark

Rating: Not Rated Current Word Count: 26,214 Canon Compliant through: 8x05 and part of 8x06

Summary: A raven flies North.The King of Westeros has need of a Stark once more.

- or -

A reluctant king must learn to rule.

Jon is such an angry version of himself, but it works so well in this fic where he has been forced to rule a country he never even wanted to reside in. The position and his own resentments have slowly been eating away at his soul and I’m so excited to see where the fic goes next with his character. Sansa is such an amazing queen and it is lovely to see her conducting herself with such grace and dignity no matter what is thrown at her.

wolves without teeth by @cat-stark

Rating: Not Rated Current Word Count: 55,329 Canon Compliant through: 8x06

Summary: It was a common saying in the North, in the endless stretch of years following the Long Night, and the after. The pack survives, whispered the North. A time for wolves will come again. Not like this, Sansa thought desperately.

- or -

Five years after the destruction of King's Landing, Starks emerge from the godswood of Winterfell. Starks who should be dead.

This genuinely might be my favorite Jonsa fic ever. I adore the way my favorite characters get a chance to confront their family members on the ways that they’ve been hurt by them. It features all of the Starks that have been lost throughout the show and it’s lovely to see them again even as they struggle to make sense of the situation that they’ve found themselves in. The characters are all perfectly written and I’ve adored every interaction that each of them has had.

Check out more of my Jonsa fic rec lists here!

#actually jonsa #jonsa fic #jonsa fics #jonsa fanfiction recs #jonsa fic recs #my jonsa fic recs #man I love these fics so incredibly much #I might just have to do a reread of several of these because they're so gooood #for the ones that are still works in progress #I get super excited whenever I see an e-mail update for any of them #<3 #enjoy everyone!!!

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curious-minx · 4 years ago

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Left Behind In The Halloween Parade: Late Review of Bob’s Burgers And The Simpsons.

The First Sunday of November, and the Last Sunday of the Trump and Biden election, found Hulu finally uploading the Bob’s Burgers and Simpsons Halloween episodes. So in the spirit of taking your sweet ass time that is exactly what I did with this review. The Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode is probably the weakest of the series, a series that is practically a Hallmark card company in terms of the amount of holiday-inspired content they have churned out. Episode “Heartbreak Hotel-oween” isn’t a particularly offensive in any way it just fails to live up to Halloween episodes such as my personal favorites Season 8 “The Wolf of Wharf Street,” which remains one of the most visually stunning episodes of the series, and Season 4, the series’ second Halloween episode,“Fort Night,” which has incredibly gruesome stakes and the most satisfying entry in the Louise versus Millie feud.

“Heartbreak Hotel-oween” is still ultimately pretty good and though it took a second viewing to fully appreciate it I do like watching the Belcher children deftly sail through the world of adults. The tantalizing plot thread of a Bob’s Burgers Delivery service is dangled and I would like to see more Delivery based plots. Getting these characters into different areas and expanding upon the ambitious Jersey shore town. Having the kids deliver a burger to an older woman using the burger as a lure for her seance is flattened against a brown and forgettable after thought of a hotel. Everything with the Belcher kids is good and interesting and with the help of Andy Daly voicing the Hotel Manager; Lindsey Stoddart doing Quarantine duty and voicing multiple characters including the old woman Dolores conducting the seance, and Loren Bouchard Home Movies collaborator Melissa Robbins stops by as a bystander character as well.

The episode starts getting in its own way with the adults blood bank centric B-plot. The entire plot is given in a single exchange with Teddie being excited about donating blood and everyman Bob with his everyman O-negative blood finds giving blood nauseating and gross. That’s it. That’s the whole plot and besides the blood banker workers being dressed up as vampires there are no other comedic games being played and it is total unmemorable fluff, which has been a common issue for the ongoing series. One thing this episode does right is at least get Bob, Linda and Teddie out of the restaurant and into a new environment. A lot of the verbal exchanges between Bob, Linda and Teddie feel a lot more stilted due to Covid recordings and the lack of non-scripted banter is sorely missed. I have noticed this season having more John H. Benjamin monologue Bob by himself moments, which only work when Bob’s imagination is in full flight. Where was the talking bag of Bob’s blood? Hell I wouldn’t even had objected to hearing a dang song sung by the vampires to help soothe Bob into giving blood or something beyond: Bob doesn’t like giving blood because it makes him woozy, he gives blood and get’s woozy.

Overall this is a perfectly serviceable episode: three Ghost-baiting cheeseburgers out of five.

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Intermission.

Fox is certainly using the Loren Bouchard & Molyneux sisters brand like a blood bag with the recent announcement of the new series The Great North. Wendy Molyneux is a frequent writer, (executive) story editor since Bob’s Burgers inception. She is the writer of “The Wolf of Wharf Street” and the episode of Bob’s Burgers I have watched the most - “There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business,” because I am a cat fanatic, John Oliver fan, and have been the pet companion of a standard poodle exactly like Snoodle named Faust that I love dearly. Basically, I am excited for this show. Molyneux is also a deeply connected collaborator with Megan Mullally writing on all 74 episodes of Mullally’s forgotten by the ages The Megan Mullally Show. A show according to Wikipedia’s citation of Fox News, “viewers were disappointed to find out that Megan is not anything like Karen in real life,” and if there is any white woman out there that is an anti-Karen it is Mullally. Mullally is not the focus of the show but her more visible and commercially accessible husband Nick Offerman is finally being anointed into the annals of TV Dads. With his three sons voiced by Paul Rust, Will Forte and National Treasure Aparna Nancherla and sole daughter voiced by Bob’s Burgers alum Jenny Slate, who recently honorably stepped down from a lucrative tv series Big Mouth deal like the real champ that she is. Mullally will show up as Jenny Slate’s character’s boss andThe cast is undeniable the backdrop of Alaska has a lot of promise for elaborate or interesting set pieces. I am ready for this show! Will this be Bob’s Burgers Futurama? That’s probably a vicious hex based on how Futurama was infamously jerked around by Fox. FOX has already given the show a promising two-season deal, which is already a lot better than what Netflix did for Tuca and Bertie. Faint nowhere discussions of the Bob’s Burgers movie were also mentioned in an interview with Bouchard who has a cantankerous “theater release only” policy, which bums out a little, but I would much prefer they take as long as possible. The Bob’s Burgers movie cannot end up carrying out the Simpson movie curse.

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I am no Simsons scholar. I could not give you an active ranking of favorite Tree House of Horror episodes. I could tell you that I really like Bart as an Edgar Allen Poe’s Raven. You don’t need to be Simpsons scholar to safely state that “Treehouse of Horror XXXI” should be ashamed to show its “funny face.” For starters the entire appeal of the anthology style of storytelling has been completely deflated by having two of the previous episodes in this season being gimmicky non-standard episodes. The only positive thing I can say about this episode is that it is an important teaching tool for what the most broken and shittiest, laziest satire imaginable would look like and the 2020 Election cold opening is actually pretty solid. All of the good will earned by the strong opening is completely squandered starting with an inexplicably CGI Toys Story sketch. I am assuming the animation department went with CGI because the source material is CGI. The CGI is really bad and makes me really miss the 3D models of Simpsons Hit And Run and perfectly charming The Simpsons Game. Instead this sketch’s particular animation looks like the animators were most inspired not by Pixar’s clean and craftsmen like CGI models but were going for more of a Fanboy & Chum Chum look. A Toy’s Story parody in this day and age is asinine in its laziness, but it’s still an evergreen territory. A good Toy’s Story parody is possible, but simply having Bart play out the role of Toy Story’s Sid except he gets lobotomized by his own toys. I did appreciate the writer’s making the explicit moral of the story to not buy toys, which for a Disney product like the Simpsons is pretty rich.

Behold! The last recorded instance of a quality Toys Story satire from China, IL

The next two parodies go down slightly better simply because they aren’t sporting that eye bleeding animation but paying homage to Enter The Spider-verse and Russian Doll/Happy Death Day 2U in 2020 feels just as dated as Toy Story. What kind of fool is still writing about Russian Doll in 2020? The Enter the Homer-verse sketch is at least ambitious and showcases how masturbatory the show has come whenever it is showcasing Dan Castellaneta’s various vocal talents. I get it dude, you like having dump trucks of money given to you for barely making an effort and doing Hannah Barbara impersonations that sound more like a bad Woody Allen. Regardless, this is still the one sketch that makes the most attempt to have comedic games with its multiple iterations of Homer and even throwing out some alternative universe Burns and Smithers for good measure. The final third Russian Doll sketch that let’s you know that this sketch is more Russian Doll than Happy Death Day by using the same exact Harry Nilsson “Gotta Get Up” piano riff. This sketch had potential but once again the show writers and creatives seem to only indulge the worst possible instincts and cast Lisa as the lead of the sketch. So that means we get to watch this 8 soon-to-be 9 year old girl and fellow child Nelson get murdered in a variety of banal and brutal ways, and it’s just not fun or pleasant to watch. The obvious choice is an unexpected Springfield resident and if it has to be a Simpson having Marge or one of her sisters be the Nadia surrogate makes far more logical sense and Marge’s birthday would carry more emotional weight.

Reminder to myself to check out this lost late series entry where Natasha Lyonne is the voice of Krusty’s daughter.

I completely understand why The AV Club canceled their coverage of The Simpsons. The whole series has a very masochistic and sadistic pull and tug between creatives and fans. The sweet and simple souls of Den of Geek are still reviewing the Simpsons and offer a far more favorable review: https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/the-simpsons-season-32-episode-4-review-treehouse-of-horror-xxxi/. Google results also yield one another publication reviewing this current season published on medium that has been taken by for violating medium rules. Will the Simpsons be coming for me next?

Skip this episode! Judging by the synopsis of the season’s next ep finding the Simpsons, once again, finding themselves somewhere other than Springfield is looking to be another skippable entry. I want to be proven wrong! The latter day Simpsons seasons usually have a memorable or decent episode here or there. So far the only thing remarkable about this season is how much it wants to try to be different and think outside of the Springfield box but in the process give the season an overwhelming sense of hollowness. I shall forge ahead with my coverage, because I am either a masochist or a sadist depending on the weather.

#The Simpsons #Bob's Burgers #TV series #tv review #Halloween #megan mullally #nick offerman #will forte #Paul rust #aparna nancherla #Andy daly #Natasha lyonne #toys story #spiderverse #russian doll #The Great North

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