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fuseboxspoilers · 3 years ago

Text

ep. 43

some of the dialogue was scrambled so I couldn't figure out exactly where everything went but most of it the same conversations happen no matter what so the main points are there :)

NARRATOR: Welcome back to Love Island!

Today our couples get tested in a way out of relationship experts recommend.

Answering questions about each other while dangling over large quantities of water.

That's how my nan and grandad spent their anniversary.

Granted they were dodging seagulls at the seaside in Blackpool. Not sitting by a dunk tank.

Time to find out who's been paying attention to their other half and whose just here for the pool.

Everyone is gathered on the challenge platform.

There are two dunk tanks with small whiteboards and big marker pens on the seats.

BRUNO: Now this looks like my sort of challenge.

Bruno nudges James.

BRUNO: You know what it reminds me of?

JAMES: Your time in the circus?

The other islanders laugh.

BRUNO: What? No! I've never been in the circus. Though that's not a bad shout. I do love a good clown. Anyway, as I was saying... it reminds me of those game shows you'd watch as a kid.

ANGIE: Those ones that were always on in the middle of the day, so you'd only ever catch them when you were off sick?

BRUNO: Yeah! I used to pretend to be ill all the time so I could watch them. Now I'm getting to actually live out that reality. I've come full circle.

TOM: You skived off school to watch TV?!

If Valentina left

YOUCEF: Oh, I loved those shows. Always wanted to go on them.

PLAYER THINKING: Bruno used to skive off school to watch TV shows.

Why am I not surprised?

Can we get on with the challenge now?

You're so cute Bruno

Choice: Why am I not surprised?

PLAYER: That's very on brand Bruno.

JAMES: Yeah, you're right. I don't think I've heard such a Bruno story.

BRUNO: Ha! You know you could say... Bruno's Banging Brand!

Angie pats him on the back.

ANGIE: Let's not make that a thing babe.

Choice: Can we get on with the challenge now?

NAJUMA: Yeah! I want to make some waves.

Choice: You’re so cute Bruno

If coupled with Bruno

Bruno wraps his arms around you beaming.

He quietly whispers into your ear.

BRUNO: Thank you. I try. I try really hard.

If not

Bruno smiles.

Cora clears her throat.

CORA: Ehem flirt ehem.

PLAYER: Hey back off! A girl can call a guy cute.

CORA: Bit late in the game for that isn't it?

[?]: Anyway...

The ping of a text interrupts the chatter.

WILL: I've got a text!

Islanders you will answer a series of questions as a couple to test how well you know each other. Whoever gets the most right will win a date in the hot tub. Losers will be dunked in the tank.

WILL: Damn. I am so going to suck at this. No offence babe.

If not coupled with Will

TIFFANY: Oh no those were my thoughts exactly. But we'll suck together.

If coupled with Will

PLAYER: None taken... I think?

TOM: Don't worry. I also believe I am in Camp Will-Suck-At-This.

TIFFANY: Hey! We might surprise ourselves.

Tom raises his eyebrows.

TOM: Really?

TIFFANY: Yeah, ok we're going to suck. But at least we'll suck together.

[Thabi’s partner]: Well, I reckon we're going to ace this.

He squeezes Thabi's hand.

She smiles back at him.

THABI: Yeah, this will be a piece of cake. That hot tub has our name on it. Or... floating around it in some way.

[?] laughs and wraps his arm around her.

PLAYER THINKING: The prize is one last date in the hot tub...

PLAYER THINKING FLIRTY: I could embrace my chaotic side and sabotage the others in order to win the prize.

PLAYER THINKING: Should I distract other couples so I can win?

Premium choice: *Let the games begin...

That wouldn't be fair...

PLAYER THINKING: True but... it is the final hot tub trip!

*Time to sabotage!

No, I can win fair and square!

Premium choice: let the games begin

You rub your hands together and smile manically.

[?] looks at you.

[?]: Um are you alright?

You cackle under your breath.

PLAYER: Mwhahahaha...

[?]: Ok... I get the feeling the less I know about this the better.

PLAYER: Well, observed. You just keep being your brilliant self and leave this all up to me.

[?]: Right...

If Najuma and Oliver are coupled (I think this only happens if you pick Angie)

Najuma and Oliver please take your places by the dunk tanks.

Oliver and Najuma climb up and sit on the seats.

They both take hold of a whiteboard.

NAJUMA: I've got hope in my heart but very little in my head.

OLIVER: We can try our best.

Oliver smiles at Najuma as he tries to kick the water with his feet.

OLIVER: As it is pretty cold.

NAJUMA: Oh obviously. I don't want to get wet.

A phone pings.

Question - Najuma and Oliver... When was your first kiss together?

Najuma raises an eyebrow.

NAJUMA: I can't remember...

You impulsively stick up your hand.

PLAYER: I know! I know! Pick me!

[?] whispers to you.

[?]: Why are you helping them?

You wink subtly.

PLAYER: Just play along babe.

NAJUMA: Go on Y/N. Help your girl out!

PLAYER THINKING: Your first ever kiss was...

On the daybeds

In the toilet

In the pool

OLIVER: What?! No, it said 'when'.

Najuma writes something down on her board.

OLIVER: Well, I said our first kiss was on the beach.

NAJUMA: Oh yes! That's right. It was so romantic. But this bird kept watching us which totally knocked me off my game. So, I don't know if I was any good... If you're out there watching me now, I'm sorry for all the tongue.

THABI: Stop stalling and show us your answer babe.

NAJUMA: Ugh fine...

Najuma turns her whiteboard around.

Within seconds Oliver and Najuma are dunked into the tank.

NAJUMA: Argh!

Najuma splashes you with water.

OLIVER: Y/N did that deliberately.

PLAYER: Innocent little me?! I wouldn't dream of it.

[?] grins at you.

[?]: That's my girl.

NAJUMA: I said on the beach...

OLIVER: Phew.

Oliver gets another text.

OLIVER: Ah crap. I really don't know this one.

NAJUMA: What does it say?

OLIVER: Who has slept with more people?

BRUNO: Spicy.

NAJUMA: We haven't had the body count talk yet. We'll have to guess.

Oliver writes an equal sign on his board.

Najuma writes her own name.

They are both dunked into the tank.

NAJUMA: No!

OLIVER: Bad luck...

They both get out and dry off by the side.

Angie and [?] please take your places by the dunk tanks.

ANGIE: Here goes...

[?]: Confident?

[?] helps her up to her seat before climbing onto his.

They both take hold of a white board.

ANGIE: Absolutely not. But we'll give it our best shot.

Question - Where did the other have their first pre-villa kiss?

Angie snorts with laughter.

ANGIE: I've got this one.

She starts to write something down on the whiteboard.

[?]: Um... how come you're so confident?!

ANGIE: Are you kidding? We spoke about this the other day! How come you don't remember?

[?]: I... I...

PLAYER: Psst I know the answer.

You whisper loudly.

ANGIE: Hey! No cheating.

[?]: Hey don't you want to win? I'm taking all the help I can get. What's the answer Y/N?

PLAYER THINKING: Angie's first kiss was...

On a roof

In a car

Behind a bush

ANGIE: What! No that's not... Don't listen to her.

[?]: Shh! I don't care if it's cheating. I want that hot tub.

He writes down your answer on the whiteboard.

Angie shakes her head.

ANGIE: Well, played Y/N. Well played. Unlike some people I put the right answer.

She shows her whiteboard.

It reads 'foods'.

[?]: Foods? My first kiss was not in the food aisle or whatever you mean by that babe. It was in the woods.

Angie stares in disbelief at her whiteboard.

ANGIE: I was meant to write that! Y/N distracted me while she was giving you the wrong answer!

They're both plunged down into the water.

PLAYER: My work here is done.

The pair drag themselves out of the dunk tank.

ANGIE: Thanks babe.

She shoots you a glare.

PLAYER: Anytime!

If you didn’t distract them

[?]: Oh! I think I got it.

He scrawls something down on the whiteboard.

Angie turns round her whiteboard.

ANGIE: I put 'in the woods'.

[?]: That's right! We were taking her dog Sparkles for a walk one summer's evening. The sun was shining. There was a really pretty lake. The moment was just right.

ANGIE: Nice story bro. Now what did you put?

[?]: Um...

CORA: Come on man! Show us your answer.

[?]: Ok ok but it's a total guess...

He shows his whiteboard.

It says 'in A&E'.

[?]: Seemed on brand.

BRUNO: Banging brands...

PLAYER THINKING: [?] said that Angie's first kiss was in A&E...

Ew that's gross

Aw how oddly romantic

That's too obvious

ANGIE: It's actually right!

[?]: Really?! Awesome. I mean that's weird that you had your first kiss there. But awesome that I remembered in the end.

If Youcef left

VALENTINA: Yeah, I think we're going to need to hear that story.

CORA: Care to elaborate?

ANGIE: I went to A&E with a friend and got chatting with a guy there. Whilst my friend was seeing the doctor, we snuck into one of the on call rooms.

TIFFANY: You're joking. This sounds like the start of a joke.

YOUCEF: Oh, my word. (at this point I’m guessing Valentina and Youcef will have the same dialogue unless you’re partnered with Youcef)

ANGIE: Nope. Totally real.

Angie's phone bleeps.

ANGIE: Oh! Next question... Huh.

[?]: What? What does it say?

ANGIE: Name your partner's mum.

[?]: Ah crap. Sorry Angie's mum...

ANGIE: Yeah, I have no idea either.

They both write on their whiteboards.

ANGIE: Right here goes nothing...

Angie and [?] turn round their whiteboards.

Angie's reads 'Sheila' and [?] reads 'Angela'.

ANGIE: Angela? Wow. So imaginative.

The chairs jolt forward and plunge the couple into the water.

[?]: Argh!

They drag themselves out of the dunk tank and stand by the rest of you.

[?]: My mum would so suit Sheila to be fair.

Thabi and [?] please take your places by the dunk tanks.

[?]: Right guess it's us next.

[?] helps Thabi up to the dunk tank and then sits up on his.

They answer the first two questions correctly.

[?]: What did I tell you? We're totally going to win this thing!

PLAYER THINKING: I better get my sabotage on.

You start doing a distracting dance.

PLAYER: I said a hey aha a hey.

Everyone looks at you confused.

[partner]: Is this all part of the plan?

PLAYER: Yep.

THABI: Stop it! I'm going to lose my focus.

You continue to wave your hands about.

Thabi's phone rings out.

Question What your biggest sexy fantasy to do together as a couple?

[?]: Ah damn... that's a tough one.

THABI: Yeah, so many possibilities.

PLAYER: Train! Taxicab! Pirate ship!

[?]: Stop! I'm trying to think...

CORA: Ha! Looks like the winners are about to become the weiners.

Everyone looks at Cora.

CORA: What? Least I'm not playing dirty like Y/N.

PLAYER: Oi!

CORA: I want a chance at going on this hot tube date, ok?

Thabi and [?] show their boards.

Within seconds they are thrown into the dunk tank.

TIFFANY: I didn't even get a chance to see what it said!

They make their way out of the dunk tank.

PLAYER: We didn't get to see your boards! What did you put?

THABI: Don't act all innocent. I know you were trying to knock us off our game.

You shrug.

PLAYER: I was only trying to help.

[?]: Sure, you were.

THABI: I just put my own fantasy and hoped for the best. I don't think we've properly spoken about that yet.

PLAYER: What was your fantasy?

THABI: Do bits in a museum at night when everyone's gone home. Preferably in the planetarium. Less wax models watching you there.

[?] laughs.

[?]: Cool. I'll take note of that.

THABI: What did you put [?]? Since we're taking notes.

[?]: Laundrettes.

BRUNO: You what?

PLAYER THINKING: A museum fantasy and a laundrette fantasy...

I'd get on board with either of them

That sounds like my worst nightmare

Personally, would prefer the classic french maid

[?]: I'm with you Y/N.

[?]: Yeah, I know it is sort of weird. But I always thought it would be cool in one of those washed-out retro ones. Kind of romantic you know?

THABI: There is something sexy about those places.

ANGIE: Also washing machines can be very... What's the word?

CORA: Good assistance?

ANGIE: Yeah, that's it.

THABI: You're not wrong.

[?]: I've got to say... I have no idea what you're talking about.

ANGIE: You've never tried out a washing machine, eh?

Tiffany's phone bleeps.

[?]: Guess we're up next!

Their first question is about who has had the most one-night stand.

You start to launch into a comedy sketch about bedside tables.

PLAYER: I posted online 'one night stand for sale' and I got the strangest replies.

TIFFANY: Zip it! Though I'm pretty sure I've used that joke in my standup.

Tiffany and [?] score only one point.

[?]: It was just a guess!

They both dejectedly come back to the group.

Your phone pings suddenly.

PLAYER: I've got a text!

Y/N and [?] please take your places by the dunk tanks.

[?]: Right. We've got three to beat. Let's do this.

You both make your way up onto the dunking tanks.

Question - Who is the loudest in bed?

[?]: Ah I totally know this one.

PLAYER THINKING: Who is the loudest in bed?

Totally me

It's [?].

I think either one of these you get the point

You write down your name.

You write [?] on the whiteboard.

[?]: Reveal your answer in three two one...

You both show your boards to the group.

WILL: As it is written so it shall be done.

[?]: Huh? What does that mean?

WILL: Um you know I'm actually not sure. But you both got the same answers anyway. (if not coupled with Will)

[?]: Score!

YOUCEF: You both scored correctly! Bravo. (if coupled with Will)

CORA: Think we all could have got that one right.

PLAYER: Ha ha. Very funny.

Question - Who is tidiest?

PLAYER: Hmm...

[?]: Easy!

PLAYER THINKING: Who is tidier?

Me! I am queen of clean

One hundred percent [?]

We're both pretty messy to be honest

PLAYER: No mess gets past me.

PLAYER THINKING: I don't know what I'd do without that clean streak.

You think back to the unmade bed and the clothes lying everywhere.

PLAYER THINKING: I'll put neither...

You write down your answer.

[?] does the same.

[?]: Right, what did you say?

You both turn over your boards.

All the other Islanders groan upon seeing your answers.

PLAYER THINKING: We both got it right!

We're so going to win this

It was an easy question

I just guessed

TIFFANY: It's rigged!

CORA: Yeah boo. Stop knowing each other so well.

PLAYER: Hey! No heckling while we're gloating.

ANGIE: That's very rich coming from you hun.

PLAYER: Speak to the hand.

PLAYER THINKING: Hmm... what is my dream date?

Camping by the stars

Day out at the fair

Just bits bits bits

PLAYER THINKING: And what is [?]'s dream date?

A night in with some movies

A hike up a mountain

Just bits bits bits

You both reveal your whiteboards.

[?]: Yay! We got it right!

PLAYER: We've won!

[?]: Ooh I wonder what the next question will...

Your phone bleeps.

[?]: Be!

TIFFANY: Bees?

TIFFANY: I hate bees!

[?] laughs before reading the text.

Question - Would you like to have children?

[?] stops laughing and starts writing on the board.

[?]: That's a very serious question... Which deserves a very serious answer...

PLAYER: Hmm...

PLAYER THINKING: Will me and [?] have kids?

Yes

You write your answer on the board.

[?]: On the count of three... one two three!

You both reveal your boards.

You see [?]'s says 'I don't know.’

[?]: Oops.

You are thrown into the dunk tank.

The rest of the couples play but no one else reaches your score.

Congratulations Y/N and [?] - you are the winners! You get to go to the hot tub.

[?]: Amazing.

CORA: Are we going to address the fact you totally cheated?

THABI: Nah let them have it.

TIFFANY: Yeah Y/N clearly wants to get in that hot tub very badly... Which makes me quite concerned as to what she'll get up to in said hot tub.

PLAYER: I have plans. Many, many plans.

TIFFANY: And that is exactly the reason I am quite afraid of ever stepping foot in that hot tub again.

THABI: True. I wouldn't want to get any of your's or [?]'s plans on me thank you.

CORA: Ew.

[?]: Yeah, what she said.

PLAYER: What can I say? I do love a good hot tub.

PLAYER THINKING: Though we might need to talk about the kids question later...

I do not know which question this pertains to and what answer is the right or wrong one? But here’s the dialogue if you lose

[?]: Ah damn it.

[?] guessed the wrong answer.

You both sink to the bottom of your dunk tanks.

PLAYER: Noo!

THABI: Too bad too bad.

Congratulations Thabi and [?]. You get to go into the hot tub!

THABI: Aw I'm so glad!

She kisses [?] on the cheek.

He smiles delighted.

[?]: Come on let's go and get ready.

CORA: Anyone fancy a pool party?

TIFFANY: I am so game for that.

[?]: Same!

You all head off the challenge platform to get ready for the evening.

All the Islanders start getting ready for the pool.

BRUNO: Feels so weird getting changed into swimming stuff at night.

YOUCEF: Yeah, it's like... eating breakfast for dinner!

OLIVER: What a concept.

PLAYER THINKING: Breakfast for dinner...

That's the best invention

I'm more of a pudding fan

No eating before swimming!

Choice: That’s the best invention

YOUCEF: Right? My dad used to always make us breakfast for dinner. But then one time we ran out of milk for the omelettes... And he never came back.

Everyone turns to look at Youcef shocked.

YOUCEF: Kidding kidding. Sorry!

CORA: You can't joke about that kind of stuff!

YOUCEF: Hun my dad did actually leave therefore I can joke about it.

TIFFANY: This is true.

BRUNO: Yeah, it's the comedian's unwritten rule

Choice: I’m more of a pudding fan

BRUNO: Wow... my breakfast chat took a turn.

TIFFANY: I mean I don't think pudding is comparable to breakfast.

ANGIE: Heck most of the time breakfast is a giant pudding.

[?]: Giant pudding, eh?

BRUNO: I'll eat your giant pudding for breakfast any day [?].

Choice: No eating before swimming!

BRUNO: Oh yeah. I forgot. That's how the sharks get you.

THABI: Come again?

CORA: Pretty sure that's not when the sharks get you Bruno.

BRUNO: Oh no! My whole life is a lie.

Angie laughs and chucks a makeup sponge at Bruno.

ANGIE: I've really grown to like this room. I'll miss getting ready with you lot.

TIFFANY: Pool?

BRUNO: Pub?

OLIVER: Pool!

CORA: Pool!

If won, the challenge

[?]: Hot tub?

PLAYER: Hot tub!

You head off to the hot tub together.

NARRATOR: Bubble bubble toil and trouble.

Fire burn and caldron bubble.

Fillet of a [?]'s snake.

In the caldron boil and bake...

Oh so sorry!

You caught me.

No don't worry. I'm not planning to cook our Islanders.

I'm working out how to turn Love Island into a theatre production.

It's either going to be a full-blown musical or a dramatic one person monologue.

But I can't quite decide.

Anyway, let's let [?] and [?] enjoy this nice bubbly caldron.

I mean hot tub!

You and [?] step into the hot tub.

[?] suddenly starts breathing rapidly.

[?]: Oh! Yikes. It's hot! Think I may have burnt my toe.

PLAYER: Oh no!

PLAYER THINKING: [?] may have a burn!

Kiss the toe better

It's because I'm so hot

Burn baby burn

Choice: kiss the tow better

You dive your head underwater and kiss the toe.

[?]: Oh!

You come back up from the surface.

PLAYER: Better?

[?]: Um yeah. Much better! Is it weird that I liked that?

PLAYER THINKING: Is it weird [?] liked my toe kiss?

Yes

[?]: Aw. (IF SAID YES)

[?]: Good. (IF SAID NO)

Choice: It’s because I’m so hot

[?]: Can't argue with that.

Choice: burn baby burn

[?]: Yeah, I'd like to opt out of burning today thank you!

PLAYER: Your call.

[?] smiles at you.

PLAYER: What you grinning at smiley?

[?]: It's just so nice to just get away from them all for a little while, isn't it?

PLAYER THINKING: Is it nice to get away from the others?

Yeah, I love our alone time

No, I wish they were in here with us

Splash [?]

Choice: Yeah, I love our alone time

[?]: It's special, isn't it? Like I used on always fret about being on my own with people. Was always worried I wouldn't know what to say or there would be an awkward silence. But with you? There's nothing awkward about it. Even the silence. It's relaxing.

Choice: No, I wish they were in here with us

[?]: Ha! I'm not sure they'd all fit.

PLAYER: Sure, they would!

Choice: Splash

You flick some water at [?].

[?]: Ha! I'll take any amount of splashing to spend time with you.

The water bubbles around you.

If didn’t win

[?]: Pool?

You take [?]'s hand.

PLAYER: Pool!

You both head over with the others.

Everyone dangles their feet in the pool.

The water is cool against your skin.

[?] smiles at you.

PLAYER: What you grinning at smiley?

CORA: Yeah you've got a grin big enough to knock me out with.

[?]: I just can't wait to do like normal things with you.

PLAYER: Like what?

[?]: I don't know... Like go shopping at the big supermarket and pick out random snacky bits to have for a series binge. Or I can't wait to go out to a drive thru together.

PLAYER: A drive thru?

TIFFANY: How romantic...

PLAYER THINKING: A drive thru date sounds...

... right up my street

... not my cup of tea

... like our next date

Choice: not my cup of tea

[?]: Hey you haven't been on a drive thru date with me before.

Choice: right up my street/like our next date

[?]: That can totally be arranged! I'll bring a lap tray. Some cutlery. We'll drive to this spot I know. It's up on this hill. You have to be a local to know how to find it. Eating a big bag of chips with that view is pretty romantic. But it sure would be prettier with you.

PLAYER: You're so damn cheesy.

PLAYER: Hmm...

PLAYER THINKING: Am I convinced?

Yeah, this drive thru date passes the test

Nah sorry I want to be wined and dined

As long as there are bits, I'm happy

Choice: yeah, this drive thru date passes the test

PLAYER: Ok you've won me over. I'm here for it.

[?]: Good. I promise you; you won't forget or regret it.

Choice: nah sorry I want to be wined and dined

PLAYER: Get me a flickering candle a three-course meal and a nice glass of shiraz or I'm out of there.

[?]: Don't worry! I promise can do that as well.

Choice: As long as there are bits, I’m happy

[?]: You really are the filthiest, aren't you?

PLAYER: It's true I can't help where my mind ends up.

[?] smiles.

[?]: That can totally be arranged!

I literally cannot tell if you have this conversation if you win the challenge or not, I’m thinking you do????

[?] swirls the water.

[?]: One of my favourite regular things to do for someone is to run them a bath.

PLAYER: Oh yeah?

[?]: Yeah! It's like you're making a big potion... but it's for adults. I used to love making potions as a kid. I love throwing all sorts of bubbles bath bombs and oils in there. I've even got one of those bath trays.

PLAYER: You and your trays!

[?]: It's true! It can fit a book a drink... I'll leave a little face mask on it for you. Maybe a nice drink. Sorry. I'm rambling. Long story short is that I would love to get to the point where I'm running you a bath at night. Or maybe even running our kids a bath one day.

PLAYER: But I thought you said you didn't know if you wanted kids?

[?]: No, I do! I just didn't want to be the kind of person who made you feel like you had to for obvious reasons. I basically wanted to hear your opinion first. But now I know you do want kids... Colour me in the shade 'I'm-all-here-for-it'! School runs freezer dinners bath time. I'll be there.

PLAYER THINKING: [?] wants kids too!

I already have names!

I literally can't wait

I was joking...

Choice: I already have names

[?]: What? For our kids!?

PLAYER: Yeah. Have had them picked out for ages.

[?]: Tell me them!

(input name)

[?]: Woah.

PLAYER: What?

[?]: That is so weird.

PLAYER: What do you mean!?

[?]: [?] is my favourite name!

PLAYER: You're kidding?

[?] shakes their head.

PLAYER: Wow. That's some kind of luck isn't it?

[?]: Yeah. And I am so lucky to end up with you.

Choice: I literally cannot wait

[?]: Me neither! But I hate to break it to you...

PLAYER: What!?

[?]: We're not going to be making any babies in this hot tub.

PLAYER THINKING: [?] says we can't make babies in the hot tub...

I know that's not what I meant!

Aw that's a shame... Why not?

Agreed but we could have a quick kiss

PLAYER: I just meant I'm excited about it. I didn't mean it needed to happen right here right now!

[?]: I know I know. I'm just teasing.

If you asked why not

If coupled with Najuma or Angie

[?]: Um babe.

She gestures underwater.

[?]: We don't have all the equipment we need. But one day we will.

She takes your hand and kisses it firmly.

[?]: I just know it.

If coupled with Youcef, Tom, Bruno, James or Will

[?]: Well firstly I'm not sure our kid would appreciate their conception being on TV.

PLAYER: A fair point.

[?]: Also it's incredibly unhygienic!

PLAYER: Another good point. Ok you win. No babies today.

Choice: I was joking….

[?]: You what?

PLAYER: What?

[?]: What?

PLAYER: What? I was only joking about kids.

[?]: Oh, um well...

[?] looks awkwardly out of the hot tub.

[?]: Ok nevermind.

[?] smiles at you sheepishly.

[?] smiles at you.

[?]: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

PLAYER THINKING: What are we both thinking?

That we should kiss

That I'm getting pruney

That we both miss the other Islanders

[?]: Oh really? You're incredible.

PLAYER: You're not so bad yourself.

[?]:Oh no! That's one of the worst feelings.

[?]: I didn't want to admit it but yeah. I do. I wonder what the other's are up to.

[?] stands up steam rises from [?] body.

[?]: Should we invite the mob over?

PLAYER: What? Into the pool?

[?]: Yeah.

[?]: Shall we go crash the hot tub date?

CORA: I'm game.

TIFFANY: Same here.

Everyone gets up to go to the hot tub.

[?]: You coming babe?

PLAYER THINKING: Do I want to invite the Islanders into the hot tub?

(I think this is a premium choice) Yes, let's all bundle

No please keep them at bay

PLAYER THINKING: But it could be fun...

I do love some bubble trouble...

No, I'd rather not

[?]: Aw are you sure?

[?]: Say no more!

[?] stands up in the hot tub.

[?]: Hey you lot! Come join us!

THABI: You don't have to ask me twice.

Thabi launches herself into the hot tub splashing you and [?].

[?]: Let’s go!

[?] launches himself in.

ANGIE: Watch the hair! Watch the hair!

Angie splashes [?].

CORA: Watch out I'm coming in.

Everyone clambers in and splashes about together under the blanket of stars.

OLIVER: I have no idea how we all fit in here.

PLAYER: I sure am going to miss this.

[?]: Me too.

BRUNO: Wet group hug?

[?]: Hell yes!

You all wrap your arms around one another and squeeze before sitting down in the hot tub

For a moment you let the silence last just enjoying the moment together.

BRUNO: It'll be weird when this is all over.

TIFFANY: Silenzio Bruno! I don't want to think about it.

WILL: Yeah. Me neither.

THABI: Agreed. I'm dreading it.

WILL: No more nights under the fish.

Will inspired Luca

TIFFANY: Fish?

WILL: Oh yeah. I used to always think the stars were fish. It always just stuck.

PLAYER THINKING: Will thought the stars were fish as a kid...

That's so poetic

Maybe they are fish

I'm going to miss your weirdness

If decided to not invite everyone to the hot tub

PLAYER THINKING: Am I sure I don't want to invite the group over?

Yeah, I'd rather not

Actually, that does sound like fun!

[?]: I was never a believer in the more the merrier anyway. What's the point of seeing a bunch of people when the main person I want to talk to is right here.

[?] touches your nose with [?] index finger.

PLAYER: Hey! No booping.

[?]: But that's my favourite part of...

The ping of a text rings out.

Will smiles and splashes you playfully.

THABI: Hey was that a text I heard?

BRUNO: Yeah. Someone's phone just went off.

[?] leans over and picks up [?] phone.

[?]: I got a text.

PLAYER THINKING: Do I want to crash the date?

Yeah, help me up

Nah I'm not bothered

[?]: Aw come on. I don't want to go without you

PLAYER THINKING: Should I go along to the hot tub?

Yeah, alright I'll come

No thanks

If didn’t win challenge and crash the date

[?] smiles and extends a hand down to help you up off the ground.

You all run over to the hot tub

if didn’t win challenge and didn’t crash the date

PLAYER: Not keen on the idea sorry.

CORA: Suit yourself!

The others run off to the hot tub.

[?] waits with you.

[?]: I was never a believer in the more the merrier anyway. What's the point of seeing a bunch of people when the main person I want to talk to is right here.

[?] touches your nose with [?] index finger.

PLAYER: Hey! No booping.

[?]: But that's my favourite part of...

The ping of a text rings out.

“Islanders, please make your way to the fire pit for the final dumping.”

PLAYER: Oh.

[?]: Yeah... I guess it's happening then.

CORA: The final dumping...

PLAYER: Yep.

[?] takes your hand.

[?]: Let's go through it together.

[?] takes hold of Thabi's hand.

Thabi holds [?]'s who takes hold of Cora's.

Everyone is holding hands gripping tightly.

THABI: Together.

PLAYER: I wouldn't have it any other way.

NARRATOR: Sniff...

I'm getting totes emosh about this.

And you know what?

It's only going to get worse.

Because the next episode...

Is a dumping!

I'll see you there...

#litg bruno #litg 2 #fusebox games #litg angie #litg dylan #litg james #litg mc #litg oliver #litg s4 #litg spoilers #litg will #litg thabi #love island the game #litg youcef #litg valentina #litg tom #litg tiffany #litg kelly #litg kobi

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my-fragment-of-peace · 3 years ago

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Wanted to post some final thoughts regarding the wrap-up of the 2021 F1 season and the championship.

I kind of want to just start by talking about the results of the race and championship. I'm a Lewis fan, of course I wanted to see him win. Of course I wanted him to get that 8th WDC. I wish it would've happened. But even more than that, I wish Maks's win was an honest win. As much as I would've hated to see it, I would've much rather he got P1, no safety car on track, and earned that position fair and square. Would I have been happy with the results? Still no, because I personally don't care for him due to a lot of what he's said and done (and no, it's not all in the far past, he's said and done a lot of shit recently that I can't and won't cosign on or support), but those feelings aside, I would have no problem admitting he won fair and square and it wouldn't feel dishonest or biased. It would be his win that he earned and that would be that. But that's not what happened. The fia defied their own bylaws, made some shitty calls, and multiple drivers and team principals (as well as retired drivers and commentators) are calling to question what happened and if it was legal in the sport.

One thing I've mentioned multiple times now, that keeps rearing its ugly head, is the potential influence Netflix and DTS have had over the sport. I have such mixed feelings on the show. On the one hand, it's made the sport accessible to so many people who could never go see races or can't pay a premium fee to watch races (in countries where there's an additional fee to pay for the channel they air on). There are educational moments on the show with some basic terminology and explanation of different strategies, so it's not all bad and definitely has some up sides. Despite this, the show thrives off of drama, and unfortunately, that's its major focus and selling point. They overdramatize literally everything. I started to jokingly say early on in the season that Chr*stian H*rner was being overdramatic because he wanted to be the star of the show and get that publicity, but as time went on, the less of a joke it became. Throughout this season of racing, the media, the fia, and several team principals have repeatedly overdramatized and capitalized off of things that could have potentially (hopefully) been worked out between the drivers and/or been non-issues. Or they publicized things which could've been handled privately and resulted in more peace for the drivers rather than constant media and stress. I can't think of another time when the fia made as many shitty calls within a single season (though to be fair I am newer to the sport so maybe there has been). It's just all very suspicious and I wouldn't be surprised if the existence of DTS has something to do with it all. Which is so fucked up because the fia and all of these behind-the-scenes business people are capitalizing off of the struggles of the athletes...like it's just wrong. And I really think this is what we're seeing unfold which is why this season has been so chaotic.

I kind of don't know what else to say at this point. I wish the win would've been a fair one, regardless of who would've actually won. I hope Lewis knows he's still the goat and I hope he's spending time with loved ones and taking care of himself. And I hope since George represents the grid for the driver's representation thing (I still don't fully understand what he does, but he represents them to the fia apparently), he makes a detailed powerpoint and explains to them why what they did was wrong. I also really hope more and more drivers start refusing to participate in DTS. This season is already filmed and contracted and done. But when the 2022 racing season starts, I'd love to see them all just collectively be like "no, fuck this, you all capitalize off our struggles and make things worse, bye." And then Seb could start an educational TV show about the sport with like half-hour long episodes explaining how things work and interviewing all the drivers, engineers, mechanics, and principals to learn how they do what they do.

#f1 #formula 1 #abu dhabi gp 2021

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sulfurousdreamscapes · 4 years ago

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I want you to look at a few advertisements I've taken pictures of. It's a hobby of mine, but I'd like to make it into a career with the assistance of your agency.

"Premium Regret" - Badger Square - Profile image of a woman wearing an evening gown, mostly in the dark, but a highlighted outline of her body going down her exposed leg, towards the hint of black heels.

In her hand, she balances a cigarette that hovers inches away from her red lips. They're partly open, just enough that you hope to catch a glimpse of her teeth, or the tip of her tongue. But you don't.

The font for the product uses an emboss effect. Health warnings are displayed in a corner. The billboard is high enough that it towers over most of the lower buildings to the South-East of Badger Square.

...

"Anger Pro" - Kyotokar St. - Billboard features a photograph of a tranquil lake. A group of children walk in a queue near a railing. They look visibly fearful. Swans swim in the lake, visible only if you pay attention. The teacher is wearing a brown sweater, and she's recoiling backwards, using her hands to hold the children back.

The woman holding the garbage can over her head looks like she could throw it at either the teacher and the students, or at the swans in the lake. It is impossible to tell which one she will choose. The product logo is to the side. Very sleek and understated. It is accompanied by a QR code, and icons for iOS and Android.

...

"Happiness" - Poster under Guan Flyover - Gentleman photographed mid-stride. He wears a well-tailored suit, and he looks like the wrinkles are getting the better of him already. Balding, short hair in a crop of white and black. He approached a woman with a child, who are sitting in a pew. Their backs are turned to us, so we can't see who the gentleman is meeting.

"It gets better," the advertisement reads. "Why settle for sadness when you can accept the luxury you deserve?"

A price, slashed out, another price in a bigger, golden font. Below are instructions on what website you should go to.

...

Fair disclaimer: I have not purchased any of the products mentioned in the advertisements above, although I am familiar with several of them. My photography is purely for analysing the merit of advertising art, and its effect on consumer behaviour. I have documented my findings online, although I can also provide you a document if you prefer.

As a side-note, I have myself dabbled in marketing in the past. Among my most successful campaigns is for "Nostalgia", which you can find in my portfolio. The product successfully triggered a renewed interest in related properties, such as "Disappointment Plus" and "Flash/Back".

With some support and resources from your end, I would be more than happy to work on our next project for "Sadism". I look forward to working with you.

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whatdoesshedotothem · 4 years ago

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Thursday 5 May 1836: SH:7/ML/E/19/0040

9 ½

11 ½

- No kiss A- roused at three with purging and sickness from the medicine she took last night - finish morning at 9 ½ bur rainy at 10 - wrote a hurried note to Marian merely to tell her to ask Mr. Husband to shew her how to open the secret drawers opening into the upper division of the writing box - I myself had forgotten how to open them - said I had asked my aunt to ask Oddy to wash and get ready by Tuesday the stays, flannel waistcoat, knitted handkerchief and sleeves sent in the box - should not arrive till 9 or 10 on Tuesday and only want tea - Lecomte to sleep in Eugenie’s room - put in this note to ‘Miss Marian Lister, Shibden Hall’ and my note to my aunt ‘Mrs. Lister Shibden hall’ and A-‘s note to her aunt which I begged Marian to send - the box off from here a few minutes after 11 - Mr. Newnham at 11 ¼ to 1 - A- poorlyish, but did pretty well - she is certainly the better for the medicine - I kept Mr. N- the last ¼ hour looking over Miss Best’s drawings - she is just forte enough to be called an artist - dividing artists into 4 classes she would just come into the last class - not above 5 or 6 of the drawings would pay for publishing - the Departure of a friend by the Diligence from Frankfort to Heidelberg much the best in composition - good - Ackermann might give 5 guineas for it - the Tyrolese girl (full length) ‘Franz Rossenbalm a Tyrolese from Inspruck’ and the group ‘Catherine and Gertraude women of Fulda’ and an interior ‘In the Catharinen Kirche, Frankfurt’ and ‘the kitchen of the hotel des Pays Bas, Boompjes, Rotterdam’ A- might give a guinea a piece - but the last drawing in the collection ‘St. Jerome in his study, copy from an old picture by Girolamo Santa Croce, in Städels Institute, Frankfurt a/m’ the cleverest thing Miss Best ever did - beautifully drawn and done - perhaps Miss Best herself not aware of the merit of this drawing - worth 12 guineas - N- mentioned Mrs. Carpenter as a very clever artist in London - he had been delighted at a conversazione at her house in the Regent Park she has an excellent knowledge of anatomy - mentioned Chambers his master, now the 1st painter of his day (oils) a native of Whitby , now painting at Grosvenor house a magnificent historical picture for Lord G- to give to Greenwich hospital - the Kind and Lord Grosvenor and many others almost kill him (Chambers) with kindness - no good water colour painter in France - many of N-‘s own drawings sold by Ackermann in Paris - from 1 ½ to 5 ¾ - except having Dr. Belcombe for 10 minutes to A- and then saw Lecomte who has got cold and a terrible looking face from [erysipelas] - Dr. B- to come again about 11 am on Saturday - A- better, and he thinks she will soon be quiet better, more especially on the other side of the water - from 1 ½ to 5 ¾ wrote out (all but the copy of note to Marian at the bottom of p. 66 written last night) the whole of pp. 66, 7, 8 and so far of this p. - and inked over accounts - then sat talking to A- dinner at 6 ¼ to 7 - Mr. Harper called I had written note to him this morning to say I should be much obliged to him to call for a few minutes this evening - for A- to give her own order for Water Lane mill to be done and I myself wanted a stair case in the west tower from the bottom - this to be done - Mr. H- went away for ½ hour and then returned again brining his drawings for the Halifax new Dispensary, or rather Infirmary so great is the accommodation required - very good drawings very good plan - but H- would rather get the highest premium (which would about pay him for his trouble in making the drawings) than the job - if these drawings will cost about £25 what will those for Shibden be worth? £50? thought the Dispensary would be done for about £75 per square (of 100 superficial feet) which will bring his plans to amount to £4000 - the Shibden kitchens (2 stories and cellars quite plain) £60 per square - H- to write to me from London and direct to Hammersleys if not in time for Shibden next Saturday week the day we talk of being off - H- thinks the N-s spending more than the old house is worth, for it is in bad condition - some part of the roof not good - but the house hang together the N-s’ time and longer - the word would get on quicker if the N-s were away - not good workmen - Harper seldom goes but something has to be undone - old employés of the family - slow and past their work did H- say? - £500 already expense if what is begun is completed - but the ladies very changeable - always something new to be done - the furnishing and all together will probably be £1000 or upwards - tea at 9 - Rainy day - till towards 8 evening then damp but fair - wrote the last 15 lines till 10 35

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mary8931smi · 4 years ago

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Margaritaville frozen concoction maker

"However, there's liquor in the blender/And soon it will deliver/That solidified creation that causes me hold tight." Margaritaville isn't only a tune: Jimmy Buffet has transformed it into a realm. Why? How did a tune about a done for vacationer longing for some fluid reward become far more than that? Since, despite the fact that he extinguished his flip failure and stepped on a pop top, we as a whole sort of jealousy him. We as a whole need to move away to a radiant, hot retreat where we don't need to stress over something besides having a lot of ice and tequila.

The Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker is one approach to get somewhat fun and sun regardless of where you are or what season it is. As per the completely stacked Margaritaville site, "It accomplishes all the work... you assume all the acknowledgment!" Sounds great to us. In this guide we will investigate the different margarita creators Margaritaville offers, discover how they work, and the amount they cost - and what clients are stating about them.

How would you get to Margaritaville? "It's in the jungles somewhere close to the port of Indecision and Southwest of Disorder...Where is Margaritaville? It's in your psyche. It's in the blend." And now, it tends to be in your kitchen. Immaculate solidified margaritas are a press of the catch away. In any case, why not just use blenders? Wouldn't they be able to do something very similar? Indeed, in the event that you need watery or thick beverages, blenders will do fine. Nonetheless, the way in to an extraordinary solidified margarita is shaved ice. This margarita machine shaves the ice and mixes your fixings into a café quality beverage without fail. Basically pour your blend, ice, and liquor in, and you're all set.

Obviously you can likewise utilize it to make virgin beverages and any assortment of other solidified beverages - there is something else entirely to life than margaritas. The solidified beverage creator likewise has a large group of different highlights that makes it simple, brisk, and delectable to make your own frigid drinks. You will discover:

*A huge 32-ounce container made of top-quality, uncompromising glass.

*A helpful pour ramble for jumble free conveyance - expecting the barkeep hasn't plunged into the substance.

*A shot glass on the off chance that you want to pass fair and square.

*A salt rimmer. An ideal solidified margarita needs a hint of salt to temper the tequila.

It couldn't be simpler. You should simply place ice into the top ice store and put your beverage blend or fixings into the pitcher. Select the number of beverages you need to make - one, two, or three - on the convenient beverage dial, and afterward flip the shave and mix switch. It shaves the ideal measure of ice for your beverages - without fail. In any case, in the event that you are a frosty sort, you can up the ice factor with the manual switch. There you go. Done. Include a straw on the off chance that you need, and kick back. Since we realize how to utilize this solidified beverage machine, the following inquiry is the reason? Why not simply get a couple of beverages at your neighborhood watering gap or café?

All things considered, what could be simpler than having somebody convey it to you on a plate? In any case, you pay a great deal for that somebody to convey it to you on a plate. Solidified beverages can cost as much as $10. That is a serious bill on the off chance that you and some parched companions get together. Yet, you state, I truly like unique margaritas, similar to the pomegranate margarita or the apple one or the coconut tropical sprinkle one with natural product. Forget about it. Simply include what you need, make your own mixture. No concerns, and no real way to miss the point.

Shaved ice will liquefy at a more quick movement than ice chips or ice blocks when it hits your glass. In case you're not into chugging your beverage and getting mind freeze, you might need to cool your glasses in the cooler before pouring your beverages. Issue comprehended, and a scrumptious arrangement it is. This excellence needs to make your home into the best party spot around: it needs to make pitchers and pitchers of beverages. Imagine a scenario where you're feeling moderate. You might need to change to manual and shave the ice as you would prefer for a solitary beverage. Once more, only a flick of the switch gets you that ideal café quality solidified margarita.

try. You don't need to add one cup margarita blend to two cups ice or 3 ounces of tequila, 1 ounce of triple sec, 2 ounces of lime juice, and 1 cup of ice. You don't need to get out your estimating spoons and cups and shot glasses - however you positively can. Dump a tad bit of this and a tad bit of that and see what occurs. You can make your own solidified mixture and name it after yourself. Have some good times, you're in Margaritaville.

You could. There is no deficiency of solidified beverage producers and blenders available. Why get the official Jimmy Buffet warm, bright Margaritaville adaptation? Since it's beautiful with its lime green, white, and silver hues? That may not be sufficient for certain individuals. n client who bought the margarita machine put it best when he reviewed how he ridiculed the item until his significant other requested one as a birthday present.

He at that point needed to buy one. Lo and view, when it showed up from quite expeditiously and the machine was attempted, it demonstrated to alter his perspective rapidly. The set-up was simple and margaritas were being produced before he knew it. The margaritas were of impeccable consistency and he needed to bow to his better half's decision making ability. They likewise make the Margaritaville DM2000 Premium Frozen Concoction Maker - you can see a video of it in real life here.

The amount Does the Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker Cost? You can discover the Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker for about $250. Indeed, this is extensively more than you may pay for standard blenders. On the off chance that you like a solidified beverage each other month or somewhere in the vicinity, this isn't the most conservative decision. Notwithstanding, in the event that you love them - and your companions love them - this is a wise speculation.

In the event that you remain at home and make your own beverages as opposed to going out a couple of times, you've recovered your cash. Furthermore, liquor and fixings cost substantially less when you get them at an alcohol store or outlet. The whole line of margarita machines can be seen here (counting battery controlled ones!).

You don't must have a lounger or a warm, white sandy sea shore to be in Margaritaville. As is commonly said, there is no visa. Transport yourself whenever with your Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker.

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abpoli · 6 years ago

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I work in oil and gas. I saw first hand what sort of shit the PCs pulled. I saw Jason Kenney's federal handiwork as Immigration Minister at work with unqualified TFWs being brought onto sites and blowing up propane cylinders because they all had faked their qualifications and didn't understand anything. I saw hundreds of people lose their jobs because of poor planning from previous governments. I got a front row seat to incredible shitshow that was carbon capture, where the client's engineers were actively talking about what a white elephant carbon capture was, and how it was a giant make work project at the province's expense. I helped build extraction facilities that were slated from the start to funnel our money to the US, extraordinarily blatantly to a Calumet refinery in Montana that was designed solely to profit at the expense of Canadians. I saw the only value-added project at NWR come around because Redford was trying to use it as a Hail Mary to distract people, which, by the way, was notorious as being never really supposed to happen outside of the surveying and being a way for Stelmach's ranching buddies to sell the province their land at a premium over a premium.

And on the commercial side of things, well, I'm well aware of the scramble that's come around because of our failing infrastructure. Amazing what happens when you don't build things where they're needed. Things like new hospitals to serve growing areas, which, I'm sorry to inform you, are not really rural areas. But do end up serving rural areas, when they end up driving to Edmonton or Calgary when they need the sort of services that need to have things like dedicated lab networks, which can only really exist where there is everyone that has to staff all of those primary and supporting services.

There was a huge thing about the previous PC governments, that that was crony capitalism. I'd never vote for anyone out to destroy the people that built this province. Or their kids, whether they're little gay kids that need a GSA for support or ones trying to fund post-secondary that don't deserve to be paid less for their hard work. Or the health care system, which, interestingly enough, is mostly inefficient because of our incredibly overbuilt rural health care network. It's awesome, because everyone deserves the right to be healthy and not have to be med-evaced everywhere. But I know that if I was looking for something to slash to bring down costs, that would be a pretty tempting cherry. Assuming that it's not outright privatized.

The fact of the matter is is that Alberta succeeded in spite of our governments. And we finally have a premier who's not looking to line their own pockets or reward their friends with sweetheart contracts. And you want to go back to that, because you've got rose coloured glasses on. Well, I sincerely hope that you can afford the consequences, because it's gonna fall on every single person who's not a "job creating" business owner. Things like toll roads (which, interestingly enough, will cost the rural Albertan more than me), public-private partnerships that never work out right but end up enriching shareholders out of the taxpayer's pocket, and catering to the charter schools of faith-supremacist groups at the expense of our public school systems.

But yeah, let's act like the Carbon Tax is the big problem. And that if we axe the provincial one, the federal one won't instantly come into play and take all that money out of the province. Because that's the biggest thing about it, that if we don't have a provincial one in place, the federal one comes in, and it's Ottawa that decides where the funds from that one goes. And it sure won't be Alberta, because that's not efficient at buying votes. Dumping it into BC, or the Maritimes, or Quebec... that's bang for your buck at a federal level. Sure, Trudeau might not be leader next election, but he is now. And that's where he'll dump it. Andrew Scheer, on the other hand, talks a big game about dumping it, but he'll almost certainly be seduced by the idea of a giant slush fund that he can try and shore up support in Ontario with. Why kill the golden goose when you can make omelets, after all? And why spend in Alberta, when Alberta has shown that they'll vote for a blue rock even if a Conservative government changes the equalization formula to funnel even more money to Quebec from Alberta (ask Kenney about that one, after all, he was part of the government that drafted that revision and he voted for it personally).

If you're looking for someone to blame for the devastation, then it's probably best that we all take the late Jim Prentice's advice, and look in the mirror. Because he was right, and it was all our faults for electing Don Getty. And letting Ralph Klein blow up a hospital so he could pay for a cardboard sign. And for letting Ed Stelmach have an entire mandate dictated by backroom party hacks. And for letting Alison Redford live her petro-shiekh fantasies on our dime. At least we showed Prentice what happens when you come down from on high without any real answers. But hey, Jason Kenney totally won't be like the rest. It's not like he started out on the payroll of US lobby groups taking pet issue stances for pay. It's not like he sold out Canadians by rubber stamping TFWs and letting big companies do whatever they want, federally. And it's not like he hasn't come out and said that his platform is going to hurt Albertans (to be fair, that was one of his candidates, and he just didn't refute it).

But yeah, the NDP are the problem for trying to deal with 40 years of mismanagement. So let's get rid of someone competent who's stood up for Albertans because they started in the worst case scenario and has been steadily working to bring things back to the best of what this province can be. After all, Rachel Notley won her leadership race fair and square, so obviously she can't be devious enough to drive this province back into being a dumpster fire, since she didn't have a federal MP's job to get paid not to do while rigging a leadership campaign against rivals.

Also, because I forgot:

THE PREMIER OF ALBERTA DOES NOT SET OIL PRICES.

Which, you know, is one huge reason that we've had problems with revenues besides slashing the tax base. And I do mean YUUUUUUUUUUGE, with a Y, because it comes right out of the supply side handbook.

Stolen from Sterling Matan on facebook.

#canadian news #cdn news #ab news #cdnpoli #abpoli #ucp #oil & gas #jason kenney #ab election 2019

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thejokersenigma · 6 years ago

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Loki x Reader - Oneshot - If Only [SMUT]

Ok guys, finally I’ve finished this (been editing it for hours now!) I’ve based this on a request by the lovely @spider-piggyxo (who I can’t tag for some reason). But I’ve also added a little twist of my own because I’m a cruel creature. :P ;)

Request: Hey! So I saw you take request. Could you write a one shot between Loki x female reader where the reader is crying Because she and her partner split up so loki comforts her and admits that he’s in love with her and they end up having kinky sex where he makes her beg for it then it ends in cute cuddles and fluff? If you write this please tag me!(: Thanks!

Hope you enjoy it! Only the third smut I’ve done, so I’m still leaning, but I hope its not too terrible!

WARNING: Smut! Duh! Please don’t read if your under-aged!

MAIN MASTERLIST

Loki stared coldly out at the city beyond the balcony’s glass railing, his arms crossed behind his back as he surveyed the rooftops and rushing car lights.

It seemed an understatement to say that he truly loathed this planet.

Besides being held here against his will by his own brother as a punishment, the almost barbaric world with its similarly uncivilised occupants, offered little to Loki in the way of interest or entertainment except for one thing in particular. One thing that he wanted – that he needed – and was then forced to watch as it was taken away from him.

The skin over Loki’s knuckles stretched even paler than usual as his hands gripped one another in aggravated frustration. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the door closing in the room behind him, his jaw also clenching in annoyance now at the thought of an unwanted interruption to his own self-pitying. He feared it would be his brother seeking him, out of the apparent goodness of his heart, in an attempt to engage him in some form of small talk-like interaction before he would finally broach the subject of Loki’s foul mood.

Loki, however, had no intention of confiding anything to his brother, especially not in matters of his feelings or frustrations of the heart. He would gain nothing from it, he was certain, and would never hear the end of it from his irksome brother.

Yet that was what was troubling him, his damn heart was overpowering his head, and as a man of brains and logic, it was very disturbing.

As a smart man, it should be clear to him that [Y/N] [L/N] was a Midgardian, not an Asgardian, and, due to that alone, she was not a suitable partner for him. It should be clear to him that he had berated Thor for a similar attachment of the emotions to a human only a few years earlier. It should be clear to him that love – if it could be argued to exist – was a weakness and something he – Loki - could not afford.

And it should be clear to him that, even if all that didn’t matter, [Y/N] [L/N] was already taken – that her soft skin, her shy blushes, her flirtatious smirks, her gentles touches and witty, teasing comments… They would never be his…

“Loki?” As if thinking your name had somehow summoned you, Loki now dropped his hands in surprise, turning slowly to find you now stood in the doorway to the balcony, watching him with a confused, concerned frown. You sniffed, “What are you – why are you still out here?”

“What time is it?” He asked instead of answering your question.

“It’s uh –“ You glanced down at your watch, though barely - as though it was just a habit and you in fact already knew what the time was, “it’s only nine,” You admitted, lifting your head again, “but I – uh – I thought you’d have already retired to your books by now.” You confessed, stepping out onto the balcony, the cold breeze immediately whipping across the ledge and pulling at your hair and the looser parts of your dress.

You looked even more beautiful than usual, Loki couldn’t help noticing, your hair styled for once rather than its usual, more practical look and your makeup somehow enhancing the flecks of colour in your eyes, drawing his gaze, and he noticed how they seemed red and maybe slightly puffy.

Like you’d been crying.

You wrapped your arms around your chest now against the chill in the air, ducking your head and glancing away as though in an attempt to shield your face from Loki’s scrutinising, but you couldn’t help the necessity to sniff again, unfolding one of your cold hands to quickly brush at your cheek.

“You are back early…” Loki observed carefully, watching you intently.

You cleared your throat. ��I – I saw no reason to hang around.” You confessed thickly. It was clear you were still attempting to try and maintain some form of dignity in front of Loki but failing when your own tears now quickly overwhelm you.

You screwed her eyes closed in an attempt to stop them, turning away fully now, but a few managed to escape from the corner of your eyes and soon you couldn’t help it any longer, giving up and allowing the rest to tumble down your cheeks unhindered.

Immediately Loki was in front of you again, his hands grabbing your upper arms to stop you turning away from him, though you refused to look at him as his eyes flickered over your face and body, conducting a survey of damage as he held you at arm’s length. “Tell me what happened.” He demanded urgently, his voice almost a growl.

You silently shook your head as the tears continued to run from your eyes. “It’s over.” You finally managed, fighting against your own sobs. “I – I – I wasn’t,” You choked out, still shaking your head incessantly, “I wasn’t enough…” You mumbled, then suddenly seemed to sag forward, dropping your head against Loki’s chest, much to his surprise, ignoring his attempt to keep you at a safe distance from him. He blinked in astonishment for a moment, feeling your strength crumbling beneath his grip, before he finally released your arms, allowing you to now fall completely against him. He let his arms wrap around you now instead, holding you against him as you sobbed nosily into his loose shirt.

“[Y/N],” He murmured down to you, his lips skimming your hair lightly, “I assure you, you are far more than enough.” He promised, breathing you in. “And I am sorry this has happened.”

“S’not your fault.” You dismissed thickly into his chest, then suddenly seemed to remember yourself, pulling away and keeping you head down to hide your puffy eyes, wiping quickly and rather ineffectively at your cheeks and nose. “I – I ‘m sorry, I – uh - I didn’t mean to - “ You mumbled embarrassedly, gesturing vaguely at yourself then at Loki and the darkened patch on his shirt where the material was saturated with your tears. “I – I really didn’t think anyone would still be up here,” You croaked in explanation, “– J-Jarvis said everyone had gone out…”

“Yes, well, I’m hardly classed as ‘everyone’…” Loki observed bitterly.

You frowned at this, seeming to forget your own distress for a brief moment. “That’s not fair and they all know it!” You protested with a scowl, I – I’ll speak with Stark.” You growled, squaring your shoulders, as though you were about to march up to him right now, forgetting your red eyes and smeared makeup.

“As the technology told you, the metal man is currently out for the night.” Loki reminded you with an amused twist of his lips. “My concern is not, and never has been, on being included in my brother’s friendship groups.” He muttered, “Right now, I am more concerned about you - you are not hurt, are you?” He frowned, his eyes roaming over you again.

“No, of course not.” You scowled weakly, batting your hand in the air to stop his scan of you. “You know he wasn’t like that, Loki.” You reprimanded lightly with a scowl.

“One can never be too careful…” He muttered in defence - he never wanted you hurt, but he wouldn’t have minded an excuse to pay the kid a visit.

Not that he really needed an excuse.

“Look can we not – can we just not talk about it?” You now asked desperately. “I just - I just think I need to sit down and take my mind off it.”

Loki nodded at this. “A drink?” He offered as he now placed a light hand on your back to steer around.

“Sounds perfect.” You nodded with a sniff, letting him lead you back inside.

Loki headed to the bar on the other side of the room, pouring two glasses of Stark’s premium collection, before then moving to where you had fallen onto one of the sofas. You thanked him as he handed you a glass, then he went to take a nearby armchair. “Wait.” Loki faltered, glancing back at you with a raised eyebrow, making you turn slightly red, “Look, you – uh – you have every right to tell me to shove off an all, but… I – uh – I could really use with someone right now and – well you’re the only one here…” You admitted with a shrug and Loki raised his eyebrow even further at this particular compliment - though you didn’t see, your head down as you mumbled - “And, if I’m completely honest, you’re also the only person I want right now…”

Loki’s eyebrow dropped in surprise at this and you kept your head down, thoroughly embarrassed by your confession. “I – I just – I mean – I – could you – could you just sit with me?” You stuttered, gesturing at the cushion next to you.

Loki hesitated at the request. He had been trying to avoid being alone with you for as long as he could remember now – ever since he’d found out about him. When he couldn’t – or shouldn’t – do anything. But now you weren’t.

It still struck him as a bad idea – you were in a vulnerable place right now and he knew he’d had a list of reasons, other than you being with another man, to not involve himself with you... But in that moment, none of them seemed the slightest bit important.

Loki kept his face impassive as he now sat down beside you, even though he could already feel the warmth radiating off your skin and the scent of you still clinging tortuously to his clothes. He was painfully aware of how temptingly close you were again now, and ensured he kept himself to the very edge of the sofa, sat too upright and every muscle tense.

“Look, I – uh – I know you like your personal space…” You now muttered awkwardly, mistaking his discomfort, “But I –“ You stopped, chewing your lip anxiously, clearly unsure how to broach the question and shifting uncomfortably in your seat.

“Not when you are concerned.” Loki assured you quietly, noticing your struggles and already catching sight of the fresh wave of tears welling in your eyes. “I would consider it no less than my duty.” Loki murmured gently, and you glanced up in surprise before giving him a weak, almost strangled smile, the pain that flashed in your eyes placing a similar constriction on his heart.

Had he said something wrong?

You nodded soberly at this, but nevertheless shuffled closer, gently leaning into Loki until you laid against his chest again. Loki hesitated for a moment, but then cautiously laid an arm around you. “I am sorry,” You mumbled into him.

“There is no apology necessary.” Loki stated indifferently, “You have been hurt - I am only too aware that physical pain is often preferential to mental pain – especially when the heart is involved.”

You lifted your head slightly, “You’ve felt like this before?” You sniffed in surprise.

Loki wanted to deny it but couldn’t see the point. “Yes.” He said with a single small nod.

“A-And you got through it? How?” You croaked desperately.

“I haven’t...” Loki confessed honestly. “Not really.” He glanced away from you, “I do not believe a heart can mend,” He explained, “much like any other anatomical tissue, the new is always weaker than before and there is nearly always the scar of the memory…” He murmured quietly.

“That’s… almost beautiful.” You mumbled, having been staring up at him as he spoke. “Can you tell me about her?” You asked, and Loki glanced down at her in surprise at the request. “You don’t have to,” You backtracked quickly, “…if it still hurts.”

“No, I – I am capable.” He assured you, glancing away again and pausing in thought for a moment before he spoke again. “She was – is –“ He corrected, “beautiful. She can see through my illusions and never backs down at the cruel remarks that I never mean…” He mumbled. “She calls me out when I become detached and uncaring… Can pull the real me back... She fascinates me and no care for traditions or reasonable thoughts can stop me loving her…” He turned back to you now where you had lowered yourself back onto his chest as you’d listened, your eyes on your hand that you’d rested on his waist. “But then she fell in love with someone else.” He murmured down at you.

“Did you know if she loved you, though?” You asked quietly below him, and he thought he heard your voice crack slightly. You were intelligent – another reason to love you – and you must have suspected something. “I don’t know.” Loki admitted truthfully. You pulled back once more to finally look Loki in face again. You were so close he could smell the alcohol on your breath. “But I had hope.” He confessed. “I always have hope.” He murmured, his eyes flickering between your eyes and your slightly parted lips.

Then suddenly you had lunged forward and captured his lips, closing your eyes as you poured your passion and desire into it. It took Loki by surprise for only a moment before he was eagerly returning the kiss he had been starving for, your hand’s coming up to cup his cheeks as Loki pulled you in closer with the arm around you, his other hand going to your hip.

He pulled back briefly, both of you already gasping for air. “Don’t tease me,” He growled dangerously at you, “Because I won’t stop.” He warned.

“I’m not.” You gasped, “I want it.” You insisted, “I want you.” Loki growled in response to this, now pulling you up and over him so you straddled his lap, then tugged you back down to him almost desperately.

Both your hands went back to his face again now, holding him against your lips even though he could think of nothing that would have made him pull away. Content that Loki wasn’t about to break the kiss again, you allowed your fingers to slide up until they entangled in his hair, Loki’s own hands stroking down your back slowly till they found your ass. You moaned into his mouth, rocking forward against him and Loki could feel the bulge in his pants reacting to this pressure alone.

He growled at your teasing, squeezing his grip on your cheeks till you squeaked and giggled against his lips. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, my love.” He muttered against you.

You pulled back, a devilish twinkle in your eyes as you knelt above him, cupping his cheek with one hand again and tipping his head back. “Oh, I fully intend to make good on it.” You grinned before kissing him hungrily once more. Loki wasn’t letting you take the control though, breaking the kiss again and taking advantage of your heightened position to kiss and nip your throat and collarbone making you moan and bite your lip again, your hands slipping to his shoulders where they gripped tightly in an attempt to keep yourself upright.

Loki grinned against your skin, moving one hand to the small of your back before turning and pushing you back onto the sofa so you were laid out before him. You grinned up at him eagerly from the cushions and Loki knew he probably should have paused then and considered that this was all a big mistake, that you were feeling sad and lonely and were making a rash, reckless decision…

But in that moment, he really didn’t care – he was getting what he had been craving for so long and he’d never hurt you – he loved you and perhaps you loved him.

Or could.

His decision seemed made for him when you now wrapped your arms around his back, pulling him down on top of you. Loki grinned, planting his hands either side of your head as he leant down to your lips again.

Your hands slipped round his side, feeling his muscles tense under your strokes, before your fingers trailed down his stomach the front of his trousers.

He growled against you again, “So eager, aren’t we?” He asked as he pulled back, catching your hands. You whined eagerly, and Loki smirked dangerously at how excited you already were. “Maybe you need to learn some patience…” He teased, slowly moving your arms up and over your head as he leant in close to your face, his breath brushing distractingly against your mouth.

You parted your lips to breathe him in, the scent going straight to your head and you closed your eyes at the bliss, wanting more. “Please.” You whimpered.

“Not yet, my love.” He growled casting a simple locking charm to keep your hands in place above you before slipping down your body, his hands gripping the edge of your dress and easing it up your thighs. You struggled weakly with your restraints, helping him shimmy the material up your body, somehow managing to pass the sleeves over your hands though they remained locked in place by the invisible restraints.

Before you could truly comprehend you were now left only in your underwear, Loki had tossed the dress away and grabbed your ankles, pulling you now to the edge of the sofa and kneeling before you. He bowed to your ankle, placing a feather-light kiss on the sensitive skin, chilling his breath as he blew along the skin of your legs, crawling back up your body. You squirmed under the sensation, moans muffled as she bit down hard in the inside of your lip.

Loki paused at the top of your thighs, so you opened your eyes in confusion, glancing down your body at where he had paused, your eyes locking with his heated gaze. Without looking away, Loki lowered his face to where only your panties remained, blowing cold air on the damp material that covered your heat.

You couldn’t help it, unable to hold back the moan this time, tilting your head back, knowing it was only a tease of what was to come - of what you so desperately wanted. “Loki.” You panted, pushing your hips towards him, though he simply pulled away slightly, denying you his mouth on the area. “Stop.” You managed to hiss through her teeth

“What is exactly that you’d like me to stop…?” Loki asked innocently, his eyes sparking with mischief.

“Stop teasing.” You groaned, still bucking your hips pointlessly. “Please.”

Loki grinned, leaning down to bite the rim of your panties, slowly peeling them down your legs and you couldn’t help squirming where he teeth grazed your skin. Before you knew it, your underwear was gone, and you were exposed to the cold air and Loki’s gaze.

You instinctively went to close your legs, but Loki’s strong hands were already in place, easily holding them open. “I have only dreamt of this sight…” He purred, “Of this taste…” He almost growled, as he lowered himself down. You gasped as his lips met you, your head jerking back and your thighs would have clenched if they could.

Loki was thorough, sucking, rubbing and teasing you, your sweetness better than he had imagined and practically intoxicating. Coupled with your moans it was enough to make him to go painfully hard.

Despite this, he continued his slow torment on you till you were a writhing mess beneath him before he then pulled back, slipping up your body to combine the taste of you with your lips. You groaned at the loss of contact, but welcome his lips again, desperately fighting your restraints above you, wanting to touch him. “Loki – please.” You protested distractedly.

“I am going to remove every scent, every touch, every thought of him.” He promised with a dangerous growl, his hands slipping beneath you to release the clasp of your bra.

“Do it. Please.” You begged, arching your back do he could pull your last piece of underwear off. It took barely any time for him to lose his own clothes, seeming unable – or unwilling – to release your for even a moment before his hands and lips were greedily back on you again.

He turned his attention you your chest now, kneading one breast as he kissed the underside of the other. “As much as I want to spend hours loving every part of your body my dear,” He murmured against the sensitive skin between your breasts, “I cannot stand this much longer.” He confessed, and you watched thoroughly barely opened eyes as he now moved to position himself at your entrance.

You felt him brush against you. “Oh my god.” You moaned, and Loki knew your helpless was killing you just as much as you were loving it.

“Yes.” He gasped, “I am your god,” He growled, unable to wait any longer, “And I am going to prove it…” Without warning he thrust into you. He had wanted to take it low and savour it, but he couldn’t. Not now when he needed you so badly.

You cried out as he forced his way into you, the sensation of you tightening around him enough to make his mind go completely blank for a moment and the spell binding your hand’s failed, freeing you. At first you didn’t realise though, your face screwed up in pain at the size of Loki and the stretch of your walls at his intrusion. Loki faltered slightly, worried he’d gone too far but the minute he stopped, you whined desperately, unable to find words, instead dropping your head back, eyes closed, and frantically grabbing at his back trying to get him to move again. “Loki.” You hissed, and that beg was all he needed.

You clung to him desperately as he thrust unto you again, the pain on your face soon ebbing away to pleasure. You kept your eyes closed as the bliss built within him, and Loki’s hands went to your hips now, pulling you into each of his thrusts before he lifted one of your legs to hook around his waist. You soon followed suit with your other leg, the new angle allowing Loki to plunge deeper inside you. You cried his name out as you clung to him, rocking with his motions, your nails digging into his back as he felt his crescendo building.

You slipped your hands up to his hair again now, yanking his head down in a mixture of pain and pleasure as you captured his mouth one more. The kiss didn’t last long before you both broke away again, gasping for air and leaning your foreheads against each other, gazes locked as Loki continued to pound into you, watching every flicker of pleasure across your features.

You bit down hard on your lip, closing your eyes and he could tell you were as close as he was. “I can’t –“ You managed to gasp out, letting out a silent moan.

“Then don’t.” He growled, capturing your lips one last time as he then felt your entire body tense around him as you came, causing him to do the same, crying out your name in ecstasy.

Loki woke in bed the next morning, not entirely sure he could remember how he had got there from the sofa. He turned his head to the side to see you curled up in a foetal position next to him, your hand under your cheek and watching his confused expression with your beautiful eyes and an amused smile.

He reached out a hand to stroke your cheek as you, in turn, reached for him.

But he never felt your touch, and his own hand passed straight through your cheek in a glimmer of gold.

Loki felt his heart drop and crack at the same time. His illusions lacked any density without his dreams and your whole image now wavered in front of him. You continued to smile that - almost cruel now – smirk as you flickered and faded before Loki’s eyes, soon leaving him completely alone in the bed with nothing but a damp patch next to him and the heavy aching heart that came with reality.

Tags for Everything: @thatwriterizzy @arkhamsurviour @beautifulbows924 @sheldonsherlocktony @angelicshinigami @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @jemjem-chan @minahraven @wanna-see-my-lease

Tags for Loki: @drakesfiance @ruffdog921 @vanyali07 @frostymoon11 @hakuoyuki @imagine-that-100 @lexiiiii28

#loki x reader #loki fan fiction #loki #loki fanfiction #loki x reader fan fiction #loki smut #loki x reader smut #thejokersengima #thejokersenigma fan fiction #thejokersenigma smut #marvel fan fiction #avengers fan fiction #loki laufeyson #loki laufesyson fan fiction #loki laufeyson smut

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goatlingsvent · 2 years ago

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I literally have payed over a houndrrd bucks too, I maxed out the BLM donation and a couple other monthly donations, and I haven't won a singular one of the raffles.

Annnnddd I don't really care, I will probably drop more money when they do more stuff like BLM, especially next year for BLM, but I do enjoy helping and donating, and generally supposerting things I like like this site is so much better than any other pet site I've been one, minus Dragon Cave, which doesn't have premium currency and worst flaw is your dragons can die, but also if they grow or are frozen won't ever die.

Neopets has like so many problems that aren't just the NFT related problems, they've been caught stealing art, they've lied to their userbase, and had a history of censoring LGBTQA+ subjects in their site, despite having a mechanism that can change a pets gender (the lab ray and various potions) for years now. Most of the best ways to make money are gone, because they're slow to update the site to mobile. They have the money to afford messing around with NFTs, but not updating their site to mobile.

Chickensmoothie claims they don't do off-site moderating, but they absolutely do, the mods are inconsistent and do infact pick favorites when it comes to being lazy and lax on the rules.

Additionally, it doesn't matter if you and the person your trading with think your two's technically unfair trade is fair, a staff can come in and block you for it and scold for cheating. I personally don't lie staff can come into my private trade and says it's unfair or cheating when me and my trading partner think it's ok, or are off-site trading fairly. I know they'll do so unfairly and only give this nosey attention to SOME 'extrmely unfair' trades while giving more obvious ones a fair pass.

Additionally chickensmoothie staff will NEVER admit nor apologize for being wrong even when solid proof is given to them, meaning you'll never being given composition for being wrongly accused for cheating, even if you had old old valuable rares, you'll never get any of those pets back, all because staff made a mistake. Also the trade community sucks ass and over values pets out of their ass, so good luck getting your pets back when starting from square one, I genuinely mean it.

Pokefarms' creator has a history of transphobia, homophobia, racism and some NSFW (pokemon r34) stuff I won't get into here, the other stuff is bad enough, also the fact he makes money off a site using offical sprites and art work from the pokemon games themselves. Which he has been sued over before, btw, and isn't properly complying with the settled agreements.

The fact this is what the creator is like and he represents himself as an absol who your average edgy stoic emo character who says 'oh yvetal' for context absol can predict disasters and bad events and Yvetal is the PokeGod of destruction (not technically death though, that's Giratina, who created Death). He gives me the edgy incel vibes and honestly it hurts to know this is the person behind, minus the copyright, a fun game that I do have some nice things to say about.

Yes there other staff seem to be a little better, and you can have a gender neutral option for your trainer, but the pokemon won't be able to be trans except in the lore you give them, despite magick being canon to pokemon meaning a pokemon could use magick to magick itself into another gender.

There are others, Webkinz, Flight rising, and others more obscure and lesser known sites with premium currencies, but I don't know enough about them and there flaws or just don't care.

Goatlings is worth it in comparison. I will give money to goatlings, I want to give and support goatlings with my money. Goatling playerbase is the were most of the problems and drama comes from, anyways, this site is very artist friendly allowing artists among the no staff userbase to make offical content, and very rewarding to artists overall.

Goatlings was proQueer rights, proDisabilites rights, proBLM, etc. way way way before most other sites around in 2012 onward, some which have history censored voices from those minorities. It's been way ahead of other sites at being generally more inclusive and user friendly, and I'm not even just talking about the charity drive, it's just generally nice to be much much open about this topics.

I think it's generally worth giving money to goatlings. With it without the secret bonus of winning raffles, though I wish if someone won, they left the out next time they rolled, it's generally more fair for those who haven't won.

🩺

#goatlingsvent

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sagamemes · 6 years ago

Text

podiots sentence starters, part i. contains 143 lines of dialogue collected from episodes one through three of the vidiots’ fortnightly podcast podiots. i’ve edited some lines to fit roleplay better, and randomised the order. contains two mentions of violence against nazis---last two sentences on the list, if don’t want to see it---feel free to change those into your muse’s in-universe equivalents, as well as edit anything else needed to fit your muse’s mouth or life better.

❝ after my dad showed me that, i never trusted him again. ❞

❝ that’s actually an explanation for a lot of ghost sightings, carbon monoxide poisoning. there are symptoms that cause like hallucinations and feelings of dread and fear. ❞

❝ i would be called chocolate thunder, and i’d wear a cape. ❞

❝ would you just get over it? i was a kid! ❞

❝ it was just this weird rag doll girl who happened to be in a bikini just falling, forever. ❞

❝ is there ever not a sexual element to it?! ❞

❝ well, you’ve clearly never met a salaried genie who’s on a retainer. ❞

❝ you’ve had your money taken. ❞

❝ i just want people to pay attention, for fuck’s sake. ❞

❝ you guys are really into your obscure shit. ❞

❝ it’s a bit like class tourism, isn’t it? ❞

❝ that’s what i was saying, this is---this is probably not legal. ❞

❝ you asked to bring weird things. ❞

❝ boy, do i hate facebook! ❞

❝ to be fair, her balloon animals are quite impressive. ❞

❝ jesus, why aren’t you on neopets yet? ❞

❝ you can’t always afford the homemade stuff. and typically, there’s less of it. and sometimes it’s not very good. and you’re paying a premium! ❞

❝ i’m so fucking over [thing]. to be fair, i ruined it for myself. ❞

❝ he’s just some time traveller, fucking with them with a fucking mp3 player. ❞

❝ what the fuck is a ‘num noms’? ❞

❝ so it’s a miracle that [name] didn’t asphyxiate himself as a child, and it’s amazing that i didn’t have some kind of cardiac issue almost immediately in my late teens. what do you bring to the table here? ❞

❝ i’m a big fan of weird gameboy stuff. ❞

❝ i’m like that rabbit from alice in wonderland. tiny, and late, and white. ❞

❝ it’ll make you terrified of ever going to a hotel again. ❞

❝ i like watching it but it’s not teaching me anything. ❞

❝ no, i don’t think there was any bubbles in it. ❞

❝ what do your mums think about what you’re doing? ❞

❝ gho-mophobic. that was a really difficult pun. ❞

❝ should we just start it? should we just go without him? ❞

❝ not that i could out-style you in any capacity. ❞

❝ i shouldn’t have asked for a horse. ❞

❝ our problem was nobody would take us seriously. ❞

❝ i’ve spent months trying to explain the job to her. my old job, she kind of got that, but now... ❞

❝ about halfway into the first [food] i went ‘oh... this is a lot of food’.---/i ate it all/, and then i felt sick for the rest of the sunday. ❞

❝ you were skirting around it, but if you ask me, directly, that’s what i’m going to say. ❞

❝ say a ghost laid a ghost poo on the floor, does it just stay there forever? ❞

❝ do you have an answer to this? because i’ve never given /any/ thought... ❞

❝ i’ve heard somewhere you can do that now. ❞

❝ my mum thinks you’re very funny, [name]. ❞

❝ no, that was all you. every penny, all you. ❞

❝ not the reason i was there, but it was a nice benefit. ❞

❝ stop. i mean---don’t stop. but /stop/. ❞

❝ [name] is the kind of man who’s so rich, he thinks a can of beans costs two thousand dollars. ❞

❝ just before going/coming in, my taxi driver said ‘oh, be careful, people get stabbed around here, bye!’ ❞

❝ be aware that this is /not/ a donation to a charitable cause. ❞

❝ i just do shots of olive oil. ❞

❝ no wonder he’s so fucking weird. ❞

❝ get a big old truck, for all that junk inside your trunk. ❞

❝ you’re not supposed to put cotton swabs in there, let alone a lit flame. ❞

❝ fuck you... [name]. i’m gonna... suck. your dick. ❞

❝ i’ve admittedly grown more bold with my culinary disgusts. ❞

❝ my chocolate shotgun, it’s a legally non-threatening weapon. ❞

❝ you did look very smart. very respectable. ❞

❝ everyone’s pulled the legs off a daddy longlegs, but that’s just like level one, that’s where you leave it. ❞

❝ see, that just sounds like batman. ❞

❝ i forgot that was the origin of this. ❞

❝ i feel like there’s something in the air. ❞

❝ there’s cosplaying and dressing up, and then there’s furries. ❞

❝ obviously, he--i mean i say obviously, like it’s /logical/, but... ❞

❝ if they did that, it’d be a lot more convenient for me. sometimes, it’s not the end of the world, is all i’m saying. ❞

❝ i am a freak. i have hands and feet, and if you’d saw me, you’d be petrified. ❞

❝ they have a meal deal which is like [£40/€45/$55]. and you get like a 25" square pizza, like seven garlic breads, and several ice creams. i could never make a dent in that, but the idea of it sounds very sexy. ❞

❝ well, he’ll be back soon! ❞

❝ you know, like a hammer throw---if i tied a string around it, i think i could throw a ps2 pretty far. properly like, swing it around, lean against it, do a spin. ❞

❝ day to day... i don’t eat breakfast. ❞

❝ we’re trying to be on everything, that’s our goal. ❞

❝ my finishing move would be called the ‘fuck you.’ ❞

❝ but i could never do that, i've got stuff to do! ❞

❝ i like dad rock. ❞

❝ if you’re having a party, i’m going to tell you what to do. ❞

❝ she looks far more normal than i expected. ❞

❝ i asked metaphorically, not physically. ❞

❝ i asked for some ___. we got about fifty. we only needed five. ❞

❝ there’s still time to save this american icon. ❞

❝ there were two [job title]s in there, who were like, super young and sexy men with really nice hair. ❞

❝ it’s read like it’s a documentary, not like ‘haha, and then he died!’ ❞

❝ i don’t want my lampshade looking at me! ❞

❝ give him something to do, he’ll be quiet, [name] and i can go to the shops and talk about where our marriage went wrong. ❞

❝ you don’t need to look at the front. usually, you’re behind ____. if he’s got a nice arse, that’s all that matters. ❞

❝ what’s your favourite cereal? ❞

❝ i’m just saying---sometimes local shops are shit. ❞

❝ i don’t think if you know this, [name]---i think you do, because you told me. ❞

❝ you take kids to a mcdonald’s, they’ll play at mcdonald’s. ❞

❝ you exist and then you don’t. ❞

❝ [name] is going through some financial issues, by which i mean, it’s fucked. ❞

❝ that’s a bit morbid. ❞

❝ i was thinking about ____ earlier. yeah, it crosses my mind at least like once an hour. ❞

❝ i had a great day, we went outside for lunch, i got gelato, it was great! ❞

❝ the tabloids loved the story. ❞

❝ you have to be really confused. ❞

❝ i really wanted to include h. h. holmes in this list because he’s my favourite murderer. ❞

❝ we’re not journalists, we’re just idiots on the internet. ❞

❝ it’s not the kind of name you gloss over. ❞

❝ ‘how did it get there?’ this is a /talking mongoose/ and you’re wondering how it got there? ❞

❝ is he a cat?! ❞

❝ i bought a replacement [name]. ❞

❝ i grew up in a village that didn’t even have a supermarket. ❞

❝ he was just---he was borderline abusive in my own house. ❞

❝ that’s gonna take you forever! ❞

❝ okay, well, i’m uncomfortable, what are we doing? ❞

❝ we’re not like... ‘i think i can make a joke about fighting your mother while playing a game’. we don’t know that well. ❞

❝ he’s like a genie, we only get one wish per day. ❞

❝ you take a drink and then you’re like ‘i don’t wanna drink too loud’ so you end up taking a tiny amount but then you don’t want to swallow too loud so you sort of inhale it a little bit and you’re like ‘i can’t cough, i can’t cough’... ❞

❝ now, [name] just heard that i wanted the attention and instantly decided he needed it instead. ❞

❝ we’re in dire need of new shelves. that money is going straight to shelves. ❞

❝ i never played ____. i kinda missed that train. ❞

❝ i could do the face for free. ❞

❝ it’s immediately feeling very warm in here. ❞

❝ presumably, this guy owns a lot of toys, so num noms is a thing. ❞

❝ i think that’s just a [region/state] thing. ❞

❝ let’s play a game called ‘how many people did they murder?’ ❞

❝ who is getting out of this room alive? ❞

❝ it’s like that song about the grandfather clock. ‘and it stopped, short, never to go again, when the ooold maaan died’. ❞

❝ [in the tune of new york] you’ll get punched in yoouur face. ❞

❝ don’t---don’t entertain his odd nonsense! ❞

❝ i don’t like people! i want my own space! ❞

❝ that’s something i always found really fascinating, like just wanting the username ‘batman’. how early would you have to be just to be ‘batman’? ❞

❝ you can’t complain about something disappearing if you’ve not been using it. ❞

❝ oh yeah, i always go to the dentist and get my brows done. ❞

❝ i loved [old place], and [this place] is also very lovely, it’s just a lot more expensive. ❞

❝ it’s a shame. just a couple of months longer and you would’ve had some employee rights. ❞

❝ there is a very good balloon elmo in this picture. ❞

❝ so, with all of this, what do you think the result is of this kind of upbringing and toxic relationship with your mother? ❞

❝ yeah, think about that. maybe we don’t like you. ❞

❝ they're’s so comfortable, i could almost fall asleep. ❞

❝ could you take this bottle of water, pour it in the sink, fill it again, and bring back to me? ❞

❝ it’s a sex number, i like it. ❞

❝ so what did the police do?---return him to [person]. ❞

❝ i wish /my/ mum thought i was funny. ❞

❝ okay, that’s gonna be interesting, having someone with a blade on my throat. ❞

❝ they can fire me if they want! they can fire me! ❞

❝ i don’t know why i said ‘basically’ like i’m about to explain how the internet works. ❞

❝ before, i had---there’s a shame element, isn’t it? you don’t want to do it because you’re afraid of judgement. ❞

❝ at one point, he had me squatting barefoot in my own bath. ❞

❝ eventually, we’re just gonna have to buy a storage locker for all this stuff. ❞

❝ i’ve got quite a sizeable list, i won’t talk about all of them. ❞

❝ how did we become the internet goblins we are today? ❞

❝ are you allergic to a.i.? ❞

❝ at least this is something you’re self-aware. if it was something other people had picked up on... ❞

❝ we have yellow and black, kind of a barry b. benson inspired look. ❞

❝ i was very disappointed at like eight when i found out they weren’t called ‘the food fighters’. ❞

❝ oh yeah, kicking hitler and shooting nazis is a lot of fun. ❞

❝ i’d love to throw a bop it extreme at hitler’s face, is what i’m saying, and i could do it from a long distance away. ❞

#rp meme #sentence meme #rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #starter meme #category: ask #category: sentences #podiots #* meme.#* sentences.

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tkmedia · 3 years ago

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The Likely Lads – Ashley Sexton & Tommy Jacobs

Feature • Issue • Premium

They fought at the age of 11, been best pals ever since, but along the way Ashley Sexton and Tommy Jacobs lost their way at different times and for different reasons. Both are now 33 and fight on the same bill on Saturday night. Matt Bozeat tells their story ASHLEY SEXTON and Tommy Jacobs are the best of friends until the conversation turns to the time they fought each other. Jacobs got the decision… and Sexton disputes it.“I definitely thought it could have gone my way,” said Sexton. Jacobs’ version of events is: “Ash says it was close – but he knows he lost. He knows I beat him fair and square.”That was when they were 11-year-olds – and much has happened since then. The boxing crazy boys who fought each other at a caravan park in Dover are now 33-year-old veterans of boxing – and life. Lessons learned, both believe the best days of their careers are in front of them and are matched on manager Mo Prior’s show at the York Hall in Bethnal Green on Saturday night (July 31). Sexton hopes victory over Venezuelan puncher Antonio Guzman (21-2) in their eight-rounder will lead to a shot at super-flyweight honours, while Jacobs takes on Theophilius Tetteh (19-8-2) at 168lbs. “I grew up with Tommy,” said Sexton, “and we formed a bond. We had that fight and then won the Schoolboys together. Tommy captained the team that went to the European Championship and included Amir Khan, Luke Campbell and Joe Murray.“We were away from home at a young age and the people like Tommy and Joe became my second family. Tommy is like a brother to me and I still keep in touch with Joe and Bradley Skeete.“We still meet up for a Nando’s.”Murray went to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing and retired without winning a major pro title, while Skeete returned earlier this year, looking to add 154lbs belts to the British and Commonwealth welterweight titles he previously held.As a pro, Sexton was known as “Flash Ash”, a chirpy and confident character who showed his mettle to grind out a blood-splattered draw with Shinny Bayaar in a challenge for the British flyweight title in May, 2010. He also pushed Paul Butler hard over 10 rounds at a sweltering York Hall (after weighing in over the 8st 3lbs limit) and is known beyond hardcore fans for a knockout that Boxing News placed at No. 31 in the sport’s best one-punch finishes. YouTube views of Usman Ahmed doing his best P Diddy impression on his way to the ring to fight Sexton for the vacant English title and then being ironed out in the first by a right-hand thunderbolt top three million. “They were great times and I got sucked into the party lifestyle,” admitted Sexton. “I was going to clothes shops and not having to pay for anything and when I walked into nightclubs the DJ would say my name and people would want to talk to me. “I believed the hype. I forgot about the boxing and it was a comedown when I lost. I’m more grounded now. I don’t think I’m a rock star anymore.”He suffered an eight-round loss to Stephane Jamoye in a challenge for the European bantamweight title in March 2013 and has scarcely boxed since. “I was winning on points and then he cut me in half with a body shot,” is how Sexton remembers the most recent loss on his 17-2-2 record. “I never officially retired. I just needed to get my life in order. I realised there is life after boxing and I needed a career away from the sport. “After boxing there will always be my family and I had to get everything right for them. The firm I work for, Kelly Rail, supports me and gives me time off when I need it. I work nights so get to the gym in the morning. “There was a time when I didn’t think I could compete with the youngsters in the gym anymore, but I can still do what I did before and this time, I’m wiser and happy. I haven’t taken any punishment, there haven’t been hard spars or hard fights for five years. My body is still 26 years old. I haven’t damaged my body.” Sexton trains at the Hodbox Pro gym under Sab Leo and Julian Leivars and it was there that he prepared for his first fight for more than five years, a points win over Jose Aguilar (16-78-5) in Spain last month. “That’s the first time I’ve ever picked up my opponent from the airport, driven him to the hotel and then driven him to and from the fight!” said Sexton, who also trains juniors at the gym, including his 10-year-old son, Tiger. “He didn’t have any wheels. It was surreal. On the day of the fight he was texting me asking for more money and getting me to sort things out. Now I know what promoters go through and it’s not a lot of fun!”Sexton had Jacobs there supporting him. “The moment I told Tommy I was boxing, he said: ‘I’m there’,” remembered Sexton, who was twice outpointed by Carl Frampton as an amateur. “I told him: ‘I don’t think you’re allowed to come,’ but he was there.” Google ‘Tommy Jacobs’ and he isn’t proud of what you find. He spent six years in prison for an attack that left his victim with a fractured skull. “I made one mistake when I was young and was harshly treated,” said Jacobs. “But I made the best of a bad situation. Boxing again was my target so I was in the gym every day I was in prison and I got loads of qualifications. “I became a Level One and Two FA coach, got my PT badges and a Business Diploma.” Boxing is a sport that gives second chances – and Jacobs had to wait for his. “As soon as I came out , my thinking was: ‘I was a top amateur, so I’m going to get signed by Eddie Hearn or Frank Warren and earn tons of money,’” said the father of two. “It was a lot harder than that. I couldn’t even get in front of the Board. They just turned me down. “I boxed on other shows , but to box on Board shows was always the goal. People said: ‘Why don’t you go abroad?’ but I was still on probation. If I was caught spitting on the street they would have sent me straight back to prison. I got turned down again a couple of years ago and I thought: ‘I either give up or I wait.’ I waited for my sentence to expire. “All that mattered was getting my licence. Boxing is all I know. I cried when I got the email saying I finally got my licence. Apart from the birth of my children that is the only time I have cried in my whole life. Boxing is me. This defines me.” Boxing is Jacobs’ life again.Boxing News rang him last week when he was on his way from a sparring session at the Peacock Gym to train amateurs at Willie’s Gym in home-town Colchester, named after featherweight great Willie Pep. “I also go into schools and talk to naughty kids who are about to get kicked out of school,” he said. “I use myself as an example of what not to do. It comes better from me than it does from a teacher or policeman. They can relate to me. I’m nearer their age and I say to them: ‘I know what will happen to you, you little s***s. I know it’s not going to end well.’ “The teachers look shocked that I talk to them like that, but I talk to them in a way they understand and it gets results. I get schools ringing me all the time saying: ‘We need the Tommy treatment.’ “I underachieved as an amateur partly because I had awful parents. What I needed when I was 17 or 18 was someone to shake me and say: ‘You’re going to ruin your life. You have something here, so don’t muck it up.’ I can be the person who shakes these teenagers and says: ‘Look at me, don’t make the same mistakes I made.’” What Jacobs threw away was a bright future in boxing. Between the ages of 11 and 17, he won a clutch of national titles boxing for Harwich ABC and captained his country. “If I go to amateur shows around Essex and the South East the officials all remember me,” he said. “They all come over and talk to me. I was one of the most successful amateurs in the area for a while. “I captained England when Billy Joe Saunders was in the team and I was his main sparring partner for the Willie Monroe fight when I hadn’t even had a fight with the Board. Brendan Ingle watched me spar Billy Joe and said I reminded him of Archie Moore. He said I could still have a long career. “I’m 33 years old, but physically, I’m younger. I’m hoping I’ve got a good few years left in boxing. I believe I have five years minimum. There’s a chance I might find my level before then or my body might start giving up on me. But I know what level I can get to and I want to get there as quickly as possible. “I’ve told Mo : ‘I don’t have time to mess around. I don’t need to learn my trade against journeymen. I don’t need to be fighting Latvian road sweepers.’ I’m looking to have three fights in three months and I want to be fighting for titles by the end of the year. “I’ve had hundreds of jobs, tried hundreds of different things. I’ve been a postman, a bricklayer, you name it, I’ve tried it. They weren’t me. I’m a boxer. This is all I can do.” Read the full article

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