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jafanadis · 1 year ago

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While surfing through Deviantart, I found a Voice Actor Meme Template which was created by AleximusPrime.

I know, I know that this meme may seem a little bit childish and immature, but I thought this template would be a fun little experiment for me to try with my OC’s and what I feel they should sound like. I have always had a fascination for the voices of animated characters, as well as voice actors in general and I decided I had to give this a shot.

As you can see, I only used pictures of fictional characters, I only included the actors’ names without their photographs, because I believe that using real people’s photographs without their permission would be kind of creepy. As mentioned in the template, the actors I chose are not the actors that I want my characters to be voiced by, I selected the characters they played who I felt my characters would sound like.

Well, here we go.

Russell's voice comparison for the longest time was Ryan Akagi from Infinity Train. I felt his pitch of voice was not too high, and not too deep. I never pictured Russell having a timid, high-pitched voice. Russell can be timid at times, but when the time calls for it he takes action. But over time, I began to feel that this wasn't a good choice, after many months of thinking I was at my wit's end. That was until I saw the trailer for Another Eden: The Cat Beyond Time and Space, Complex Dream which featured characters from one of my favorite games as a kid, Chrono Cross. I happened to hear the voice of Serge, the main character of that game speak for the first time, and upon hearing Serge's voice, I believe I found Russell's voice once and for all. It just really clicked. A couple of things I would probably change with the voice is that Russell would sound more serious and he would speak with a Saskatchewan Accent as he was raised in the capital of Regina.

I had to do a little bit of searching for Ash's voice. My first choice was Hunter from Owl House or Vanitas from the English Dub of Vanitas No Carte, both voiced by Zeno Robinson. However, over time I began to believe that these were not good choices for Ash and I began to look toward other characters. I recently re-watched the first Aladdin movie on Disney+ and upon hearing Aladdin's voice, I did select him for the Ash's voice comparison but over time I realized it just did not match. Ash has a dynamic sounding voice, something which Ryan Akagi from Infinity Train, the original vocal comparison for Russell was. So I decided to switch Ryan as from Russell's voice comparison to Ash's voice comparison and this time it seemed right.

Zia's voice was pretty easy as well. Nubia Gross from The Proud Family original series was an absolute yes. I definitely picture Zia sounding like a kinder, more supportive version of Nubia. I know the character and voice actress are American, but I believe this voice comparison was perfect for Zia. One thing though, she would need to speak with a Nova Scotian Accent as Zia was born and raised in Halifax and had moved to Regina in her last year of high school.

Derrick's voice was also pretty easy, I definitely chose Toma Kamijou from the English Dub of A Certain Magical Index at first. In the English Dub, Toma just has a very "big-brotherly" tone of voice which I totally hear Derrick speaking with. But then I decided to trade that for Best Jeanist from My Hero Acadamia's English Dub, also voiced by Micah Solusod. In addition, Derrick was born and raised in Hawaii, and the actor who voiced Toma in the English Dub, Micah Solusod is from Hawaii as well. Best choice.

For the longest time, I assigned Louis from the English Dub of Beastars as the vocal comparison of Chatan, because at first I pictured Chatan being strict and no nonsense, but this eventually changed, he started to become much more lighthearted and I figured that Louis' voice would no longer be a good match for him. So I switched it for Natsusa Yuzuki from the English Dub of Number24 who was voiced by Griffin Puatu who also voiced Louis from Beastars, but in the end it just didn't match him. I then transitioned his voice from Natsusa to Ganke Lee in Marvel's Spider Man who was also voiced by Griffin Puatu, but it just didn't seem quite right either. This was around the time when I decided that Hunter's voice wouldn't be a good fit for Ash, so I decided to see if Hunter or Vanitas's voice would fit, it was close but no cigar. I looked into other roles Zeno Robinson played and when I heard Hawks (AKA Keigo Takami) in My Hero Academia, I settled for this voice for Chatan. Which is absolutely shocking because I don’t care that much for My Hero Academia. But over time, I began to think that this voice wasn't a good fit after all, so I decided to find a new one. I watched a movie recently called "Trolls World Tour" and I heard the voice of Branch, and I thought perhaps this voice would work for Chatan once and for all.

Another voice to choose which was a journey was Vai's. I was battling for a long time whether or not I should choose a soft or deep voice for them. I assigned Ryonousuke Akutagawa from the English Dub of Bungou Stray Dogs which for a long time sounded perfect, but my vision for Vai changed and Akutagawa's voice, I felt, would have made Vai sound like a Californian skater dude. So that was off the table. Rewatching Steven Universe, I heard Emerald from the episode, Lars of the Stars and settled on that. But Vai would need to sound a bit more pretentious, whiny, their pitch would need to be slightly higher, and they would have to speak with an accent that sounds like the Upper Class British English accent.

Miri's voice was pretty easy, she's supposed to have a high pitched, almost annoying kind of voice, Disgust from Inside Out was the perfect choice. Miri would have to sound a bit more cheerful and then at times a bit more spoiled and commanding given the fact she’s a know-it-all spoiled brat and a queen bee.

I knew that Jheron had to have a deep voice but I couldn't decide which character should voice him. At first I chose Gundham Tanaka from the English Dub of the Danganronpa 2 Video Game, but it just didn't seem right to me. Then I went with Bayek from Assassin's Creed Origins but it made him seem far too serious. I was at my wit's end. If there was one person I wanted to voice Jheron, it would've been Markiplier. There is just something about his voice I just felt was a good match for Jheron, his voice was deep, but not too deep. But, I couldn't find any characters voiced by Markiplier and I was almost compelled to give up. But luckily, I found that Markiplier played a version of himself in the 2015 video game, PewDiePie: The Legend of Bro-Fist and I shouted for joy, because technically this was an animated character that I could feature on this meme. One thing I would change is that Jheron would speak with an accent similar to the Rhode Island English Accent as he was raised in Akrya.

Suri's voice was pretty easy, I was attracted to the androgynous/boyish sounding voice of the voice actress Kimlinh Tran, and I figured a vocal pitch like that would be perfect for Suri and I decided to look for characters voiced by Tran, but it was difficult. Tran voiced Mikasa Ackerman in the English Dub of Attack On Titan, but she sounded too serious for Suri. Eventually I came across Nadia Fortune from the video game Skullgirls: Second Encore and that was a definite match for Suri. Suri also speaks with an accent similar to the Singaporean English Accent as she was raised in Prathe.

Another character which was easy to pick a voice for was Haerile, The Beast from Beauty and The Beast was it. Haerile is a very no-nonsense, easily agitated person just like the Beast. Haerile speaks with an accent similar to German as he was raised in the Jithran Senate.

Tai's voice went on a little bit of a journey, at first I chose the good version of Spinel's voice from Steven Universe, but over time I came to realize it wasn't a good match, then I transitioned it to DeeDee from Dexter's Lab, but her voice sounded too deep. After weeks of searching, I finally settled with Charmy the Bee from the English Dub of Sonic Heroes, one of my favorite games as a child. The spunky voice that Emily Corkery gave him with the perfect pitch for Tai, my little rambunctious monkey girl.

Rahkar's first voice was actually Patrick from SpongeBob but I decided that wouldn't be a good choice because I felt it would make him seem dimwitted and childish. I had a hard time looking for other voices. I am a big fan of Game Grumps and I came to realize that Arin Hanson's voice would be perfect for Rahkar. I knew Arin was a voice actor and I began looking for characters he voiced, Gateaux from Mighty Magiswords was the first choice but his voice was much deeper and he didn't say much and I wanted to find a character that spoke as much with Arin's natural voice as possible. It was difficult, but I settled on Krakov, who only appeared in one episode of Mighty Magiswords; The Cave of Gelatinous Doom! I felt this character spoke with as much of Arin's natural voice as possible.

Qishya's voice was a little bit difficult, at the start of my journey, I assigned Tiana from the Princess and the Frog as the voice comparison with Qishya, but her voice sounded too deep. Then I switched it for Ashley Williams from the Mass Effect series. That didn’t work either. Eventually I came across the character, Leah, from the 2001 movie, Osmosis Jones, who was voiced by singer Brandy Norwood. She has been the only animated character to be voiced by Brandy, but there was just something about the airy, sultry tone in Leah's voice that just fit with Qishya.

My first choice for Lellain was Cuphead from the Cuphead show, but I came to the realization that this voice was much too masculine and comedic sounding for Lellain. I also didn't think it would be appropriate to assign this character as the voice comparison for Lellain. I thought that this character voice would make Lellain seem...like a slapstick character. Lellain is a jokester, but he isn't like Cuphead at all, there are times he can be serious. Playing the game, Marvel's Spiderman, I assigned Miles Morales, voiced by Nadji Jeter, temporarily as the voice comparison for Lellain. After searching and searching I finally decided to assign Max Mittelman's portrayal of Ryuji Sakamoto from Persona 5 as Lellain's voice. Lellain however does speak with an accent similar the Hiberno-English (Irish English) Accent because he was raised in the Golar Sodality.

Kasai was pretty difficult. The most difficult of all my OC's to find a voice for. I combed through many actors and characters but none of them quite fit, until I heard the Netflix Dub of Neon Genesis Evangelion and I heard Shinji Ikari's voice. Though that voice seemed a bit too timid and high-pitched for Kasai, something clicked and I just had to look-up the actor, Casey Mongillo and what other characters they voiced, hoping I could find a possible voice comparison for my green child. I looked through other characters they voiced without much success until I came across Emporio Alnino from the English Dub of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures and it I thought it was the perfect match for a while. But over time I began to realize that this voice would be too high-pitched for Kasai. I wanted to find a nonbinary actor to voice Kasai, unfortunately none of them had the vocal tone I would imagine Kasai to have. Greg Cipes' portrayal of Beast Boy from Young Justice was one of my first choices, and I decided to reassign this voice to Kasai.

I originally chose Bismuth from Steven Universe as the voice comparison for Itzapa, but Bismuth sounded very jovial and laid-back, something which Itzapa is not. So, I needed to find another character for her voice comparison, and I needed to find a character with a voice that wasn't too deep. It took a while, but then I came across a Canadian cartoon called Shadow Raiders, which I vaguely remembered as a kid. When I heard the voice of the character, Jade, voiced by Enuka Okuma, I decided this would be Itzapa's voice comparison. Jade is a tough woman ready for battle, just like Itzapa. I do picture the voice being a little bit deeper.

So this is what my OC’s voices would sound like. If you have any better ideas for the OC’s voices, please feel free to leave them in the comments below. And I just want to make this clear, I only selected the characters these actors/actresses voiced that I felt closely matched my OC’s not the actual actor/actress themselves.

#anthro #anime and manga #character art #original character #voice acting #voice #scifi #deviantart #fantasy #oc art #oc #my ocs #ocs #alien #Meme

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yanderepuck · 3 years ago

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What's in the guys camera rolls

Napoleon: gives me the vibe he likes to go to history museums so is a lot of stuff like that on his phone. A lot of cool looking swords he wants to show Jean later. Also his horse

Mozart: honestly not much once he found an app that he can write music on. Might also occasionally take pictures of food, specifically sweets

Leonardo: a lot of drawing references and cat memes. He also uses pictures as a shopping list for things he needs. He can never remember what it is exactly, even writing it down, so a picture helps.

Arthur: Vic sleeping somewhere cute. Probably takes pictures of Isaac when he isn't looking. Videos of Dazai doing something stupid.

Vincent: flowers, butterflies, birds. a lot of aesthetic things. But he has a hard time deleting things so you're able to see the different aesthetics he goes through. Brush holding flowers

Theo: Food. He's 100% a foodie and has to take pictures of food before anyone is allowed to touch it. Most of the pictures are just pancakes, but he insists on taking them all the time. Also dogs he founds out on the streets. He'll ask people if he can take a picture of their dog

Isaac: He doesn't take a lot of pictures. If he does its notes or book covers because a book sounds interesting but he can't get it in the moment.

Dazai: a lot of videos of Bunta. Honestly just a lot of pictures and videos of all the pets. So many memes.

Jean: a lot of blurry things, and Cherie. Bible quotes that he found online. You'll find a lot of blurry pigeons.

Will: titles of books he wants to read. He goes into a book store and just takes pictures of covers to remember about them later. Many pictures of Puck too that he sends to the group chats.

Comte: he's a mom who insists on taking pictures at every moment. So its a lot of everything. Got Christmas photos, birthday photos, Easter even. Halloween. He's got it all.

Sebastian: Also has a little of everything? But he's had his phone for much longer than them so he's got even more. Short videos of the guys just doing daily things, like Mozart playing, Arthur and Dazai are arguing but its over wither watermelon is a solid or a liquid

Vlad: Also flowers. He'll make little flower arrangements at his stand and takes pictures because of how pretty they are. Or his own garden. Hummingbirds! They are his favorite so when he finds them in the garden he makes sure to get a picture of them.

Faust: Probably a lot of book too??? Along with his shopping list because he needs this certain thing, but it has to be a specific brand but he can never remember the brand name. He also seems like he steps up in the fashion department and takes pics of his looks.

Charles: what doesn't he take pictures of. Sunsets. Flowers. Louis. That weird looking bush. He sees a statue with boob or dick out? Zoom in. Click.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp jean #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp comte #ikevamp theo #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp faust #ikevamp charles

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seattlesea · 3 years ago

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Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (Part Three)

John: Am I cute

Six: Whatever makes you happy

Marina: Where’s my perfume?

Eight: I drank it

Nine: *squeezes bread* I just really felt like doing that

Five: I feel like doing that to you

Eight: Use your bread you fucking heathen

Five, tucking Maggie and Ella into bed: Night night c*nts

Maggie and Ella, in unison: REEEE

John: *attempts to do something but fails*

Nine: Bitch thought

John: Shut up

Six: Bitch thought

Five: Bitch thought

One: Bitch thought

Eight: Bitch thought

Adam: Bitch thought

John: I hate you guys so fucking much

Eight: Is eating this much cheese even healthy???

John: Raise your hand if you love dogs

Adam: I would but I’m eating goldfish

Five, on an Omegle video chat with a knocked-out Sam and Ella: They're dead

Nine, on the other end of the call: Tell them to get up

Six: Men are dumb. Fuck men. You know, what? To all the ladies in the chat, here's some advice.

Six: Become a lesbian

Six: Adopt a cat

Six: Plant a garden

Six: Live in a forest

Six: Destroy the patriarchy

Six: Travel the world

Six: Fuck shit up

Six: And do it with a smile and a piña colada *bites chip*

Marina: I was gonna wear a cute pink flower crown with my outfit but then I thought fuck that, I'm going low-key cottagecore, not Ohioan frolicker or Idahoan horse girl

Adam: Dude, are you high?

Sam: What? No

Sam, suddenly remembering he rode passenger while Nile smoked weed on their way home and has gotten high off second-hand smoking weed before: OH SHI-

Five: Why am I even up at four in the morning with chips and Mountain Dew???

Marina: I mean, it could be from insomnia rooting from your depressio-

Five: Depression? BITCH PLEASE that shit is so 2019

Adam's teacher: I know it's Monday, but if it's any comfort, today is the first day of the last week of April!

Adam: What the FUCK did you just say to me-

Eight, mimicking an old man: gEt OfF mY lAwN

Sam: *puts face in bowl and laughs*

Nine, knocking on the door: Let me innnnn

John, sitting against the door so Nine doesn't come in: No, I'm still mad at you

Nine: Ok ok I'm sorry, I'll pay you fifty dollars

Five, trying to be compassionate with Nine: Remember when we used to match hairstyles, you fuck?

Literally anyone: *laughs*

Eight: Giggles

Hannu: No sad, just ball

Six: fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me square up square up square up sqUARE UP SQUARE U-

One: Can I use your headphones?

Adam: Sorry, I'm using the-

One: Shut up you dumb fuck

Eight, talking to himself in the mirror: Oh my god look at you in your big, baggy flannel you look sO CUTE you're adorable don't let anyone tell you differently, including you you dumb fucking insecure little bitch

Daniela: What would happen if a woman took penis enlargement pills?

Adam: Hey no offense but what the fuck is wrong with you?

John: What even goes on in your mind?

Nine: Tarot cards, money, Cotton Eye Joe on loop, applesauce, lighting a house on fire, jumping out a second-story house to see if my ankle is durable or not...

John:...

Nine: But mostly Cotton Eye Joe on loop

Five: Some people identify as she/her. Some people identify as he/him. Some people identify as they/them. I identifty as a fucking disappointment.

Marina: Hey, can I ask you a question?

Eight, naked in a bubble-filled bathtub with lit candles, a wine glass full of apple juice, and IceJJFish playing: Do I look like someone with the fucking time?

John: Hey, are you gay?

Adam, sitting on the ground blasting Ariana Grande with an iced almond milk latte and wearing a baggy flannel shirt: BITCH-

Six: *opens her online-shopping package*

Marina: Uh, those are going to make you look a little emo, aren't they?

Six, putting on her thick chain choker and leather gloves: that's the poINT-

Sam: *dances like a crab to the Crab Rave* Crabby Rave make pain go away

One: 'oH i DoNt HaVe PrOnOuNs'- what the fuck are you then, a toaster?

Random celebrity: Wow, fangirls are so sweet and dedicated, they really should get paid for all the promotions and hard work they do!

Six: Ok pay me then

Maggie, crying: All I wanted was some fucking chicky nuggies

Sam, walking up to Nine in public: Hey bestie-

Nine: I don't know you

Sam: Bitch-

Ella: I'm gonna send a celebrity a meme everyday until they reply to me

Marina: Why?

Ella: Why the fuck not?

Five: Yeah, I'm depressed *laughs*

John: Why'd you laugh?

Five: It's a coping mechanism

Maggie: I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner I wants the three D's

Sarah, horrified: The WHAT

Maggie: Dogs, donuts, and diamonds

Hannu: So there's this philosophy theory-

One: I will fucking drown you

Six: If you are male and you have a flat ass, don't speak to me. I need guy friends who match my level of THICKNESS

One: Oh my god she's so cute

Adam: She has a girlfriend

One: Sharing is caring

Five: If ONE MORE BITCHASS WHORE comments on my clothes and shits about how feminine I dress I swear I will be gOING TO JAIL

Five: JUST SAY YOU ARE JEALOUS YOU CAN'T WORK BOTH AND LEAVE BITCH

Nine: So I have this problem where I hate myself but I still think I'm better than everyone else

John:...

Nine: Like I'm trash but I'm QUALITY trash, I'm trash from the garbage bags of Louis Vuitton, I'm recyclable, reusable trash, I'm the trash no one wants to throw away

John: Um...

Nine: If Gucci made a limited-edition, 24-karat gold garbage bag, I'd be that garbage bag

Maggie, holding a nerf gun to Adam's head: Gimme all your fucking money

Sam: I don't know, I've just been feeling a little down lately

Six: No

Sam: What?

Six: That's not allowed

Sam: Wha-

Six: *smacks Sam in the face with a pillow*

Maggie: BESTIE. YOU ARE A BAD BITCH. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. WORK IT QUEEN

The pigeon on the sidewalk:

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bluewinnerangel · 3 years ago

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Ooohhhh hi @justalarryblog @lovingstheantidote @skepticalarrie @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @laurelier (I feel like I've just been tagged by 1D themselves [but then who is who] this lil group of bloggyfriends is AWESOME) thank you for tagging me! <3

answer 10 questions and tag people you’d like to get to know better:

1. relationship status: we're getting close to 10 years together, a relationship as old as WMYB, jeeeeeezzz

2. favorite colors: PURPLE to blue (pretty much the color range on that meme coming up / my header gradient thingy)

3. three favorite foods: 1) anything cheesy (even if it's not cheese someone's trying not to eat dairy over here but just has them ~cheesy aspects~ to it. 2) a good and I mean GOOD strawberry or raspberry. 3) does a drink count? because I'm addicted to tonic / bitter lemon.

4. song stuck in my head: MCR's Teenagers because @larrysballetslippers and I were just talking about how teenagers scare the living shit out of us. But this past 2 weeks or so it's been predominantly Paul Simon's Graceland and I hope you'll find out why soon because that monster of a draft really needs to stop eating at my brain ~omg teasers for shit nobody asked for~

5. last thing i googled:

OK @laurelier I'm working from your post copypasted and I just have to leave your bit in because you'll see: "HAHHAHAHAHAA let’s have a list shall we. in one of my tabs the last 5 things i googled are literally: “i can’t believe stay there forever” “i cant believe that first time state ive been” “i cant believe that first kiss song” “what is i cant believe stay in heaven song” and……….. we finally got there “heaven bryan adams lyrics” because my dumbasaboxofrocks ass was trying SO hard to figure out what harry was saying in that unseen and i can’t lip read worth a shit sksjdjjfjfj"

It's not the last thing I googled but I went to the timepoint when that unseen came out and (this is in reverse chonological order and yes im too lazy to remove the hyperlinks): Searched for MONICA THAT FIRST NIGHT Searched for Eric Clapton Lyrics "Tears In Heaven" Searched for find song with lyrics Searched for Julia Michaels - Heaven Searched for song heaven Searched for dong heaven Searched for bryan adams heaven Searched for bryan adams heaven mp3 download Searched for bryan adams heaven Searched for i still cant believe that first in heaven Searched for imagine dragons believer Searched for that first ill say Searched for search lyrics Searched for can't believe that first lyrics Searched for cant believe that first time lyrics Searched for i still cant believe that first kiss lyrics Searched for i still cant believe that first kiss Searched for "believe that first kiss" Searched for i cant believe that first kiss Searched for i cant believe that first lyrics phil collins Searched for i cant believe that first lyrics Searched for i cant believe that after lyrics Searched for i cant believe that after all these years lyrics DID I EXPECT TO FIND IT IF I JUST SEARCHED THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN??? also "dong heaven" asldkajslal

6. time: time to stop ignoring mentions

7. dream trip: middle of nowhere, no people but the ones I brought with me, nice nature, nature sounds, nature smells, comfy everything, but also still great internet, loads of boardgames and they're all really good but not to hard to understand and infinite amounts of cold good drinks and very cute cats everywhere, maybe some other animals too, maybe like a random deer that just chills and comes to check out who is winning, accidentally knocks over the virgin mojito but it's fine because he did it away from the boardgame anyway and then whoever is playing with me is like "ah thats alright ill make you a new one" and goes and then 5 kitties come and just jump on my lap while the deer is like licking one of their faces and I just wanna be Snow White but still get that notif when Louis tweets you know.

8. anything i really want: ~energy~

Ok there's different 9 and 10's on your posts so imma answer them both:

9. a favorite song at the moment:

10. personal catchphrase/trademark mannerism if u have one: @laurelier your "christ on a cracker" asdlkjaskldj I say "we're (not) crackalackin" more than you think would be applicable because it's usually literally about whether we have crackers at home or not.

And then the other leg:

9. pick ONE Harry song: ARE YOU INSANE. euh. I probably have listened to Sunflower vol 6 the most?

10. pick ONE Louis song: .....Perfect Now. Yap. Two cute lil cuties for songs bubye.

I'm late with this and think everyones already tagged soooo Im just gonna tag @larentsaloud only because I know your ass isn't on tumblr enough and I'm trying to drag you back on here <3

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imbellarosa · 4 years ago

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Hiii! I was wondering if you read fanfic?? And if so, what are your fav tropes/works??

Hi!!!! I read A LOT of fic from A LOT of fandoms! My fav tropes are either flat comedy or enemies to friends to lovers or friends to lovers or something like that! I only read happy endings, but I don’t mind some angst in the middle. Idk what fandom you’re looking for so I’m gonna give you a list of some of my all time favs from EVERY fandom, and I’ll add one that I’ve written!

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy- 150k words 1D enemies to friends to lovers road trip AU across the US for a fun, banter-y time with some real communication issues that really get resolved well. People always say that a rom com should have a good answer for “why can’t they be together NOW?” And this one does it really well! No real angst, and a lot of fun.

Have Love, Will Travel by @kingsofeverything - 97k words 1D YouTubers on a roadtrip AU! If you liked the first one on this list, you’re gonna love this one too! Sweet and long and full of the memories you would make on a road trip. Lots of laughs with this one, and I wish I could see the “Have Road, Will Travel” video series irl!

Tell Me Now, Tell Me Now by @vanillabeanniall - 55k words 1D Miraculous Ladybug AU but you don’t need to watch the show to ADORE it - I know that I sure do!! Funny and sweet and SUPER ironic, with superheroes and Paris mixed in and great characters! Who wouldn’t love it?

So Let’s Cross the Lines We’ve Lost by thecoloursneverfade - 165k words 1D friends to enemies to friends to lovers uni AU that was one of the first that I read in the fandom and really made me fall in love! Good friends, some angst, hard convos that lead to real growth, and lots of really great characters. This feels real, for a lack of a better word, and is always compelling.

Ain’t That A Kick in the Head by keysmashlesbian, wreckingtomlinson (karasunonolibero) - 23k words 1D comedy AU ft. football player!Louis, Disaster gay!Harry, memes, frogs, head dives, Blue Coolattas (whatever those are), and a very sassy Red Robin waitress named Fiona. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve read it, and I always laugh, and I always find something new to fall in love with.

Leave it To the Breeze by @hattalove - 82k words 1D GBBO AU. This one feels like a warm hug. It’s gentle, fun, has great characters, believable angst, has you rooting for more than one of the characters to win, and is also hilarious, somehow. I’ve read this fic over and over and over, and I especially do it when I have time before a new season of GBBO. Also, have snacks!! It makes me hungry

The Section by bananaheathen - 11k words 1D Uni AU with grad student TAs, sophomore undergrads, art classes, movie analysis, and final essays as methods of seduction. Also, nicknames, nude models, a Halloween party, and absolutely shameless flirting. I loved it, and laughed the whole way through.

I’ve Heard it Both Ways by @adoredontour - 26k words 1D Psych AU. I love this one. I love the fic, I love psych, I love the author. I’ve read most of her works, but this one has such a special place in my heart. Go read it!!

Play it All Night Long by janine_tangerine - 43k words SPN radio AU with DJ!Dean and bartender!Cas, with music, annoying coworkers, sassy siblings, and lots of love. WHOAH WHATS THIS A LIVEJOURNAL FIC??? I know but I read this ages ago, and it has music EMBEDDED WITHIN THE FIC! It was my first introduction to Bob Dylan, who remains one of my favorite artists of all time.

Crossroads State by Mercy - 51k words SPN slice of life AU with Mechanic!Dean, Teacher!Cas, Law Student!Sam, and lovely lovely moments. All sweet, some tension, but no real angst. I read this forever ago, and still come back and back and back to it.

Peace and Good Luck to All Men by KismetJeska - 31k words SPN College Au. DO YOU MEAN THE BEST CHRISTMAS FIC EVER OF ALL TIME??? I read this on the first day of December every year, and it makes me laugh every time. Cas falls in love with his sister’s boyfriend, Gabe and Luke are in a seduction competition, Michael is tired of everyone, and Dean doesn’t know what hit him.

For All You Young Hockey Players, Pay Attention by @thursdaysfallenangel - 144k words SPN enemies to lovers hockey AU. Just. Please go read this. Gorgeous and still one of the best fics in the whole fandom, imo. Cas is the new transfer on Dean’s team, and Dean doesn’t like change.

The Complete Works of Emmanuel Allen by @violue - 54k words SPN small town AU ft. writer!Cas and local business owner!Dean. Dean meets his favorite author, but does not know it’s him. Shenanigans ensue, with a lovely warm feel. Dean builds a mausoleum and owns cats and lives in the woods. Cas needs a change of scene. Sam thinks everyone needs some more company.

The Mirror by cloudyjenn - 25k words SPN parallel universe AU. This was one of the first fics I ever read, and I still love it. Dean touches an enchanted mirror and travels through universes in search of an answer to a question he hasn’t asked. Full of love, family, and companionship.

Asunder by rageprufrock - 24k words SPN AU with Social worker!Dean, Doctor!Cas, Sober!Sam, and RUBY!!! Ugh I love this fic for Ruby alone. This one is more bittersweet. Dean hasn’t spoken to Sam in years due to his struggles with addiction. Sam, now sober, is getting married, and has invited him. Dean can’t face his family alone.

But It’s a Good Refrain by lady_ragnell - 23k words Merlin Radio AU! Merlin has an anonymous gossip radio show, and someone calls in to put Arthur on blast! Morgana is a fan, Arthur is not amused, and a sort of enemies to lovers thing occurs. Just lovely, and it makes me laugh every time.

And Like the Cycle of the Year, We Begin Again by @katherynefromphilly - 208k words Merlin canon compliant. This is the Season 6 we should have had. If you’re at all into this fandom, go read it - it’s still an all time fav for me. Hundreds of years later, Arthur walks out of the lake. Merlin has been waiting.

Give The Dragon a Chili by @supercalvin - 47k words Merlin magical AU based on the story in New Zealand of the cat stealing someone’s underwear. Merlin’s dragon is sort of a thief.

Fundamental Imperfection by Starlingthefool - 12k words Merlin famous author AU. Arthur likes Dickens. Merlin does not. They get into it on a panel, and twitter stan wars ensue. And enemies to friends to lovers where literary arguments are an expression of love, and stories are magical.

The Student Prince by FayJay - 145k words Merlin Uni AU. What a classic!! It’s a magical realism royal enemies to friends to lovers AU ft. a dragon in the walls, a lovely gay soc, Gwen as a Muggle, and some really great characters and moments. Do yourself a favor and go read this one.

Call it Love by @dalek-in-heels - 30k words Merlin RPF. UGH THIS ONE!!! Okay 1.) the author is one of my best friends, and she’s amazing! 2.) lovely fic that takes place at the end of Merlin, and still has one of my all-time favorite misunderstandings in fic ever. “Yogurty Heart” is my favorite way to say I love you.

If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things by @watsonshoneybee - 35k words Sherlock AU canon compliant through season 3. This one is sad, but the title is taken off of one of my favorite books, and the writing is gorgeous - as is the characterization. Happy ending, though! I promise! So the journey is all worth it!

In All of the Lives We Are by @dalek-in-heels - 20k words The Magicians canon compliant through the first half of season 3. Sarah does it again and writes one of the best fics I’ve ever read. Art as therapy, a sweet love story in more than one universe, and finding the will to keep going through the worst days. The writers of the actual show should have read this fic and put it on the screen. This is my canon.

A Happy Ending? Sure Enough by me (imbellarosa) - 8k words The Magicians canon compliant up to season 4. This is the only one of mine I’m putting on the list, because I still really like this one! You need some context, but not much? Idk, just if you want to see how *I* write!

#fic recs!#anon asks #i answer #long post for ts #hey anon if you want a more targeted fic rec in one particular fandom come back and let me know #and i'll make you another list!

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route22ny · 5 years ago

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*Gaslighting, if you don’t know the word, is defined as manipulation into doubting your own sanity; as in, Carl made Mary think she was crazy, even though she clearly caught him cheating. He gaslit her.

Pretty soon, as the country begins to figure out how we “open back up” and move forward, very powerful forces will try to convince us all to get back to normal. (That never happened. What are you talking about?) Billions of dollars will be spent on advertising, messaging, and television and media content to make you feel comfortable again. It will come in the traditional forms — a billboard here, a hundred commercials there — and in new-media forms: a 2020–2021 generation of memes to remind you that what you want again is normalcy. In truth, you want the feeling of normalcy, and we all want it. We want desperately to feel good again, to get back to the routines of life, to not lie in bed at night wondering how we’re going to afford our rent and bills, to not wake to an endless scroll of human tragedy on our phones, to have a cup of perfectly brewed coffee, and simply leave the house for work. The need for comfort will be real, and it will be strong. And every brand in America will come to your rescue, dear consumer, to help take away that darkness and get life back to the way it was before the crisis. I urge you to be well aware of what is coming.

For the last hundred years, the multibillion-dollar advertising business has operated based on this cardinal principle: Find the consumer’s problem and fix it with your product. When the problem is practical and tactical, the solution is “as seen on TV” and available at Home Depot. Command strips will save me from having to repaint. So will Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser. Elfa shelving will get rid of the mess in my closet. The Ring doorbell will let me see who’s on the porch if I can’t take my eyes off Netflix. But when the problem is emotional, the fix becomes a new staple in your life, and you become a lifelong loyalist. Coca-Cola makes you: happy. A Mercedes makes you: successful. Taking your kids to Disneyland makes you: proud. Smart marketers know how to highlight what brands can do for you to make your life easier. But brilliant marketers know how to rewire your heart. And, make no mistake, the heart is what has been most traumatized this last month. We are, as a society, now vulnerable in a whole new way.

What the trauma has shown us, though, cannot be unseen. A carless Los Angeles has clear blue skies as pollution has simply stopped. In a quiet New York, you can hear the birds chirp in the middle of Madison Avenue. Coyotes have been spotted on the Golden Gate Bridge. These are the postcard images of what the world might be like if we could find a way to have a less deadly daily effect on the planet. What’s not fit for a postcard are the other scenes we have witnessed: a health care system that cannot provide basic protective equipment for its frontline; small businesses — and very large ones — that do not have enough cash to pay their rent or workers, sending over 16 million people to seek unemployment benefits; a government that has so severely damaged the credibility of our media that 300 million people don’t know who to listen to for basic facts that can save their lives.

The cat is out of the bag. We, as a nation, have deeply disturbing problems. You’re right. That’s not news. They are problems we ignore every day, not because we’re terrible people or because we don’t care about fixing them, but because we don’t have time. Sorry, we have other shit to do. The plain truth is that no matter our ethnicity, religion, gender, political party (the list goes on), nor even our socioeconomic status, as Americans we share this: We are busy. We’re out and about hustling to make our own lives work. We have goals to meet and meetings to attend and mortgages to pay — all while the phone is ringing and the laptop is pinging. And when we get home, Crate and Barrel and Louis Vuitton and Andy Cohen make us feel just good enough to get up the next day and do it all over again. It is very easy to close your eyes to a problem when you barely have enough time to close them to sleep. The greatest misconception among us, which causes deep and painful social and political tension every day in this country, is that we somehow don’t care about each other. White people don’t care about the problems of black America. Men don’t care about women’s rights. Cops don’t care about the communities they serve. Humans don’t care about the environment. These couldn’t be further from the truth. We do care. We just don’t have the time to do anything about it. Maybe that’s just me. But maybe it’s you, too.

Well, the treadmill you’ve been on for decades just stopped. Bam! And that feeling you have right now is the same as if you’d been thrown off your Peloton bike and onto the ground: What in the holy fuck just happened? I hope you might consider this: What happened is inexplicably incredible. It’s the greatest gift ever unwrapped. Not the deaths, not the virus, but The Great Pause. It is, in a word, profound. Please don’t recoil from the bright light beaming through the window. I know it hurts your eyes. It hurts mine, too. But the curtain is wide open. What the crisis has given us is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see ourselves and our country in the plainest of views. At no other time, ever in our lives, have we gotten the opportunity to see what would happen if the world simply stopped. Here it is. We’re in it. Stores are closed. Restaurants are empty. Streets and six-lane highways are barren. Even the planet itself is rattling less (true story). And because it is rarer than rare, it has brought to light all of the beautiful and painful truths of how we live. And that feels weird. Really weird. Because it has… never… happened… before. If we want to create a better country and a better world for our kids, and if we want to make sure we are even sustainable as a nation and as a democracy, we have to pay attention to how we feel right now. I cannot speak for you, but I imagine you feel like I do: devastated, depressed, and heartbroken.

And what a perfect time for Best Buy and J. Crew and Gwyneth Paltrow to help me feel normal again. If I could just have the new iPhone in my hand, if I could rest my feet on a pillow of new Nikes, if I could drink a venti blonde vanilla latte with two pumps of syrup, then this very dark feeling would go away. You think I’m kidding, that I’m being cute, that I’m denying the very obvious benefits of having a roaring economy. You’re right. Our way of life is not ruinous. The economy is not, at its core, evil. Brands and their products create millions of jobs. Like people — and most anything in life — there are brands that are responsible and ethical, and there are others that are not. They are all part of a system that keeps us living long and strong. We have lifted more humans out of poverty through the power of economics than any other civilization in history. Yes, without a doubt, Americanism is a force for good. It is not some villainous plot to wreak havoc and destroy the planet and all our souls along with it. I get it, and I agree. But its flaws have been laid bare for all to see. It doesn’t work for everyone. It’s responsible for great destruction. It is so unevenly distributed in its benefit that three men own more wealth than 150 million people. Its intentions have been perverted and the protection it offers has disappeared. In fact, it’s been brought to its knees by one pangolin.

And so the onslaught is coming. Get ready, my friends. What is about to be unleashed on American society will be the greatest campaign ever created to get you to feel normal again. It will come from brands, it will come from government, it will even come from each other, and it will come from the left and from the right. We will do anything, spend anything, believe anything, just so we can take away how horribly uncomfortable all of this feels. And on top of that, just to turn the screw that much more, will be the one effort that’s even greater: the all-out blitz to make you believe you never saw what you saw. The air wasn’t really cleaner; those images were fake. The hospitals weren’t really a war zone; those stories were hyperbole. The numbers were not that high; the press is lying. You didn’t see people in masks standing in the rain risking their lives to vote. Not in America. You didn’t see the leader of the free world push an unproven miracle drug like a late-night infomercial salesman. That was a crisis update. You didn’t see homeless people dead on the street. You didn’t see inequality. You didn’t see indifference. You didn’t see utter failure of leadership and systems.

But you did. You are not crazy, my friends. And so we are about to be gaslit in a truly unprecedented way. It starts with a check for $1,200 (Don’t say I never gave you anything) and then it will be so big that it will be bigly. And it will be a one-two punch from both big business and the big White House — inextricably intertwined now more than ever and being led by, as our luck would have it, a Marketer in Chief. Business and government are about to band together to knock us unconscious again. It will be funded like no other operation in our lifetimes. It will be fast. It will be furious. And it will be overwhelming. The Great American Return to Normal is coming.

From one citizen to another, I beg of you: Take a deep breath, ignore the deafening noise, and think deeply about what you want to put back into your life. This is our chance to define a new version of normal, a rare and truly sacred (yes, sacred) opportunity to get rid of the bullshit and to only bring back what works for us, what makes our lives richer, what makes our kids happier, what makes us truly proud. We get to Marie Kondo the shit out of it all. We care deeply about one another. That is clear. That can be seen in every supportive Facebook post, in every meal dropped off for a neighbor, in every Zoom birthday party. We are a good people. And as a good people, we want to define — on our own terms — what this country looks like in five, 10, 50 years. This is our chance to do that, the biggest one we have ever gotten. And the best one we’ll ever get.

We can do that on a personal scale in our homes, in how we choose to spend our family time on nights and weekends, what we watch, what we listen to, what we eat, and what we choose to spend our dollars on and where. We can do it locally in our communities, in what organizations we support, what truths we tell, and what events we attend. And we can do it nationally in our government, in which leaders we vote in and to whom we give power. If we want cleaner air, we can make it happen. If we want to protect our doctors and nurses from the next virus — and protect all Americans — we can make it happen. If we want our neighbors and friends to earn a dignified income, we can make that happen. If we want millions of kids to be able to eat if suddenly their school is closed, we can make that happen. And, yes, if we just want to live a simpler life, we can make that happen, too. But only if we resist the massive gaslighting that is about to come. It’s on its way. Look out.

https://forge.medium.com/prepare-for-the-ultimate-gaslighting-6a8ce3f0a0e0

#covid19 #return to normalcy #social manipulation #everything is broken #julio vincent gambuto

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kny111 · 5 years ago

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Prepare for the Ultimate Gaslighting*

by Julio Vincent Gambuto

Pretty soon, as the country begins to figure out how we “open back up” and move forward, very powerful forces will try to convince us all to get back to normal. (That never happened. What are you talking about?) Billions of dollars will be spent on advertising, messaging, and television and media content to make you feel comfortable again. It will come in the traditional forms — a billboard here, a hundred commercials there — and in new-media forms: a 2020–2021 generation of memes to remind you that what you want again is normalcy. In truth, you want the feeling of normalcy, and we all want it. We want desperately to feel good again, to get back to the routines of life, to not lie in bed at night wondering how we’re going to afford our rent and bills, to not wake to an endless scroll of human tragedy on our phones, to have a cup of perfectly brewed coffee and simply leave the house for work. The need for comfort will be real, and it will be strong. And every brand in America will come to your rescue, dear consumer, to help take away that darkness and get life back to the way it was before the crisis. I urge you to be well aware of what is coming.

For the last hundred years, the multibillion-dollar advertising business has operated based on this cardinal principle: Find the consumer’s problem and fix it with your product. When the problem is practical and tactical, the solution is “as seen on TV” and available at Home Depot. Command strips will save me from having to repaint. So will Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser. Elfa shelving will get rid of the mess in my closet. The Ring doorbell will let me see who’s on the porch if I can’t take my eyes off Netflix. But when the problem is emotional, the fix becomes a new staple in your life, and you become a lifelong loyalist. Coca-Cola makes you: happy. A Mercedes makes you: successful. Taking your family on a Royal Caribbean cruise makes you: special. Smart marketers know how to highlight what brands can do for you to make your life easier. But brilliant marketers know how to rewire your heart. And, make no mistake, the heart is what has been most traumatized this last month. We are, as a society, now vulnerable in a whole new way.

And what a perfect time for Best Buy and H&M and Wal-Mart to help me feel normal again. If I could just have the new iPhone in my hand, if I could rest my feet on a pillow of new Nikes, if I could drink a venti blonde vanilla latte or sip a Diet Coke, then this very dark feeling would go away. You think I’m kidding, that I’m being cute, that I’m denying the very obvious benefits of having a roaring economy. You’re right. Our way of life is not without purpose. The economy is not, at its core, evil. Brands and their products create millions of jobs. Like people — and most anything in life — there are brands that are responsible and ethical, and there are others that are not. They are all part of a system that keeps us living long and strong. We have lifted more humans out of poverty through the power of economics than any other civilization in history. Yes, without a doubt, Americanism is a force for good. It is not some villainous plot to wreak havoc and destroy the planet and all our souls along with it. I get it, and I agree. But its flaws have been laid bare for all to see. It doesn’t work for everyone. It’s responsible for great destruction. It is so unevenly distributed in its benefit that three men own more wealth than 150 million people. Its intentions have been perverted, and the protection it offers has disappeared. In fact, it’s been brought to its knees by one pangolin. We have got to do better and find a way to a responsible free market.

Until then, get ready, my friends. What is about to be unleashed on American society will be the greatest campaign ever created to get you to feel normal again. It will come from brands, it will come from government, it will even come from each other, and it will come from the left and from the right. We will do anything, spend anything, believe anything, just so we can take away how horribly uncomfortable all of this feels. And on top of that, just to turn the screw that much more, will be the one effort that’s even greater: the all-out blitz to make you believe you never saw what you saw. The air wasn’t really cleaner; those images were fake. The hospitals weren’t really a war zone; those stories were hyperbole. The numbers were not that high; the press is lying. You didn’t see people in masks standing in the rain risking their lives to vote. Not in America. You didn’t see the leader of the free world push an unproven miracle drug like a late-night infomercial salesman. That was a crisis update. You didn’t see homeless people dead on the street. You didn’t see inequality. You didn’t see indifference. You didn’t see utter failure of leadership and systems.

#opinion #literature #lit #covid-19 #coronavirus #pandemic #writing #disenfranchisement #oppression #abuse

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brokenjardaantech · 4 years ago

Text

captain allen appreciation week 2020 day 1 + 7: vacation + acceptance

notes:

i combined day 1 & 7 as they happen to be the theme of the same story. it's also a prequel to a fic that i haven't written a word yet.

a little bit background since i think things can be confusing:

allen's full name is Louis White Allen. his dad's french and his mom american, though he's raised in alaska. his sister, anna allen, is a commissioned officer in the air force. the siblings speaks both english and french fluently.

sara ryder replaces elijah kamski as the inventor of androids.

this fic is set in september 2038, about a month after connor was first deployed at the phillips' hostage situation.

tags: griefing, family issues, brief mentions of childhood neglect and parentification

ao3 link if that’s what you prefer

-----

To this day, Lou's heart hammers when he sees a call from the military. Last time he received one was ten years ago, and he ended up with more questions than answers, answers that he knows he and his father very likely will not get in their lifetime. Staring at his phone vibrating on the coffee table, Lou debates whether to induce his cats' wrath - one sleeping on his lap and the other he hasn't stopped petting since they finished dinner - by standing up and interrupting their naps. It's not like he's at his full mobility anyways; his cybernetics still needs about half an hour to sync with his nervous system properly and to download the newest software. Whoever the fuck is in charge of calling the family of a soldier who went AWOL in Göttingen can wait.

It seems that the universe has other plans, as the air suddenly becomes charged with static and the phone launches itself towards Lou's chest. The tip of his fingers are numb, a common occurrence after his and his sister's unexplainable outbursts, but he manages to catch the phone before it hits his chest or, heaven forbids, his cat, who is startled awake and promptly returns to sleep after her favourite bed has no intention to move.

He accepts the call. 'Allen speaking. I don't think I have family members in the military anymore.'

'I don't know how many of yours are with us,' the voice from the other end lacks the robotic quality of an android's, so it seems the military is still using humans to contact family members, 'but this concerns your mother, Commander Deborah White. You're the only next of kin we can reach, Mister Allen.'

Lou does sigh. Just as he thinks he can leave her behind after all these years... 'What about her?' Not that he feels strongly that she was gone, as she wasn't quite there for her family to begin with, but something about a Commander going missing on the flagship of a fleet always sits wrong with him; as poor of a mother Deborah White was, a woman with her service record didn't deserve to simply vanish. 'I thought she went MIA more than twenty years ago.'

'She was until a few hours ago. I wish I can break it to you more gently but... we found her. Her remains, at least.'

The beat of his heart suddenly becomes too overwhelming. The air swells with the familiar buzz of static, and it takes all of Lou's self-control to not break everything in the living room with a shattering hazard. There is also the urge to hang up, to pretend that this is just one of those weird dreams he never can remember the details of, because he doesn't need to be burdened with a closure; he wasn't close enough to her to want that, he tells himself. Knowing that she's gone is enough. However, 'How?' is what he says in the end. He closes his eyes, free hand buried in his cat's fur, trying to convince himself that he is doing this for his father.

'Your mother's bones were found in a sealed compartment in the USS Blue Ridge when we were scrapping her. She must've been sitting there for years. Her skull indicates that -'

'Thanks, but I don't think I need to know that,' Lou swallows, willing himself to not think of the implication of an intact skull. It would've been a horrible way to die, sitting in cold seawater for days, feeling her skin rot away before dying of starvation; he'd rather her snap her neck upon impact and go painlessly. 'Anything more?'

'Yes. How would you like to deal with the body?'

Something tickles Lou's chin. When he opens his eyes, he finds the third cat trying to squeeze himself onto his already-occupied lap and purring as if having sensed the human's distress and wanting to soothe him. He recalls how his mother joked that she would probably die at sea and his father's reluctant acceptance of the entire affair; Papa's resignation after he received the news, saying, 'At least she got what she wanted.'

'She spent most of her life at sea,' he replies. No need to rub salt on his father's wounds. 'Let her rest there as well.'

'Very well. If you wish to, a memorial will be held in two months' time. Families of other deceased will attend. You may find support there.'

Support my ass, Lou thinks. It's been twenty-something fucking years. Yet, for some reason, he still promises that he'll consider going before hanging up. His finger hovers over his father's contact afterwards, but remembering that it's midnight in France and that he has a month worth of leave accumulated, he opens his browser instead and starts searching for plane tickets.

----

A month later, Lou finds himself in the commune of Gâvres with a large backpack on his shoulder and missing his cats very dearly. They aren't even his cats, technically; his neighbours keep them as outdoor cats, and Lou, unable to stand the thought of them suffering out in the winter cold of Detroit, took them in, and now they spend more time at his than at their original owners'. Having dropped them off at Hank's - that man takes better care of his pet (now pets) than himself - Lou isn't worried - he doubts his neighbours will even notice that their cats are gone. Emotions are terrible things, however, and the purpose of this trip alone makes it different from all the time he has visited his father before. At least he hasn't just recovered from nearly dying from implant rejection this time.

'Louis?'

Lou turns when he hears his father's voice and the awkward weight reminds him that he hasn't taken off his backpack yet and has been standing in the living room of his father's house staring at nothing for the past few minutes. Not waiting for his son to take it off, Papa Allen crosses the room and embraces Lou, sweat and all. 'How are you?' he asks in French, and when Lou answers truthfully in the same language, 'I missed you,' somehow everything in the world goes right again. Fuck the deviant crisis, fuck the android-infested America that makes his nerves buzz every single waking moment, fuck absent mothers still managing to make a comeback years after she died. He's just Louis Allen, absolutely not a SWAT captain, not the only survivor of the Blast, not the pioneer/guinea pig of CyberLife's groundbreaking cybernetics technology.

He has to let go of his father. 'I hope it's okay. What I did with Mom.'

Papa sighs. 'How about you take off that thing first,' indicating the backpack, 'and settle down for now.'

So Lou walks up the stairs and deposits his backpack in the room designated as his, and, catching sight of the other bed in the room, his legs suddenly feel weak, and he lowers himself, trembling, onto his mattress. Smart, fearless Anna, whose brain always runs - ran - a lot faster than the rest of the world.

Who graduated top of her class and as the Valedictorian of the academy, and subsequently disappeared without a trace.

His left leg twitches. The feeling of something foreign using his body returns, and when he leans forward - with a difficulty that wasn't there before - to take off his sock, it reveals white and grey chassis. A stark reminder that he owes her his life two times over despite her being the younger sibling.

‘How come I’m still alive?’ was the first question he asked after he regained his voice. ‘Ryder threw a fucking building on me.’

‘I dug you out, Lulu,’ replied Anna. ‘Freaky glowy telekinesis finally has its use. I was hungry for hours afterwards.’

At that moment, Lou made the mistake of looking down and seeing his pure white leg. ‘What the hell happened to my leg?’

‘CyberLife’s newest tech.’ As if to demonstrate how he should use his new leg, she gave his feet a poke, and Lou nearly screamed from the sensation. He did not expect to feel anything at all, but apart from the looks, the leg felt...real. ‘Fucking building crushed half your pelvis, your entire left leg and a rib. It’s already minced when I uncovered you, so they need to rebuild everything from scratch. I asked them to add something that can help you control the telekinesis better as well, so we’ll need to test it out later. No more randomly exploding shit. And before you ask, yes, your junk’s unharmed.’

Lou’s coma-addled brain struggled to process the influx of information, and all he got was, ‘I should’ve died.’

Anna hit the break to what seemed to be the beginning of a technical jargon-filled rant. ‘Well yes,’ she gestured just like the meme, ‘but you lived.’

‘No one survives after being crushed by a building, Anna,’ he said, voice rising. Then he asked in French since English felt too raw, ‘Exactly how much tech is in me right now? And how long was I out for? Why did CyberLife choose me?’

She looked away.

‘Anna?’

‘I don’t fucking know, okay?’ she replied in the same language. ‘You were on the brink of death when I dug you out, and there Ryder was, offering to save your life for no cost. You were in a medically-induced coma for one month and was out for reconstruction for another. It took your body two weeks to get used to the cybernetics and...here you are.’

‘Ryder offered,’ Lou said slowly, ‘to save me? As in Sara Ryder?’

‘Yes.’

‘Anna, she was the one who threw the building on me!’

‘I know. One more reason to let her save you.’

‘But you did it anyway.’

‘I did.’

‘Even though you know it’ll probably come back to bite our asses.’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘You know the answer, Lulu.’

And Lou has stopped denying that he does a few years ago. Anna joined the Air Force to fly, to be closer to the sky, but he knows that it wasn’t enough; from the way she turned her eyes towards the aurora when they were young, the attention she paid towards all news related to space observation and exploration, to the talks about leaving the wasteland that is known as earth behind and finding a new home in the cosmos - Anna belongs to the abyss of space. The military was simply a stepping stone towards something greater, a greatness that she must be working towards somewhere on this god-forsaken piece of rock.

The place where Lou’s flesh meets his implants aches in anticipation of the storm that will no doubt force them to remain indoors for days. Grinding his teeth in the numbing pain, he uses his hands to put his non-functional left leg onto the bed and lies down sideways with his back towards his sister’s bed, his phone buzzing in his pocket to notify him of an unexpected software error that may take hours to fix. Switching on do-not-disturb, he shoves the offending piece of technology underneath his pillow and loses his fight against jet lag and pain.

----

Lou wakes up cold and hungry. He is covered by a blanket that wasn't there when he fell asleep, so his father must have checked on him when he realized that his son was doing more than putting down his luggage, and the dark sky outside the window almost brings him back again before it flashes.

Then the booming thunder reminds him that it isn't dusk at all.

He successfully rolls over on his other side, which means that his cybernetics are functional once more. Kicking the blanket away, he sits up and grimaces at the taste of his mouth.

He feels better after his regular morning rituals, though the lack of three furry friends harassing him and brushing against his feet is something that he'll need to get used to, and his father is cooking lunch when he reaches the kitchen.

'Morning, Louis,' Papa says as he hands the pan over to his son. 'What did they drag you through to have you sleep for so long?'

Lou is glad that he can use concentrating on not burning his food as an excuse to buy himself a minute. Should he tell his father the truth, or should he avoid talking about work just like many people do during their vacation? 'Things are getting bad in Detroit,' he decides in the end as going on a vacation at one's father's house isn't exactly normal either. 'Androids are breaking their programming and starts having their own thoughts. CyberLife's trying to cover it up, but I've dealt with enough violent deviants - that's what they're calling those androids - to know it's gonna be a problem real soon if they don't solve it now.' A pause to think of how to continue. 'I'm glad you're not in America anymore.'

'It must be exhausting,' is his father's reply, and that's all Lou needs to realize that his father has no idea what he's talking about. Then again, the man moved back to France before androids were a thing, and although they kept in frequent contact, Lou never talked much about his work; the police getting reformed means that SWAT is deployed only when peace is not the option - that means seeing people get hurt or die constantly. Androids aren't really a thing in Europe, so his father never experienced the 'androids taking over everything and making everyone lose their jobs' shit. He won't understand.

'That's why I'm here.'

They lapse into silence as Lou finishes cooking and empties the content of the pan onto two plates. Never one for formality, Papa brings them to the living room, sitting at the corner of a couch while Lou retrieves his plate and fork and curls onto the window sill. At this proximity, he can feel the raindrops hitting the glass as if he is standing in the rain.

Papa clears his throat. 'About your mother, Louis.'

Lou tears his eyes away from the raindrop he's betting on to win. He hastily shoved some eggs into his mouth to buy himself some time to mentally prepare for the conversation. 'What now?'

What he actually says isn't what Lou expected. 'I'm glad about what you did with your mother's body.'

'Her skeleton, you mean,' he replies. 'What's left of it anyways. I don't think they found the whole set.'

'Still,' Papa isn't looking at him. 'That's what she would've wanted. And by I'm glad - I'm not opposed to it.'

'That's it?' Lou turns back towards the rain. 'That wasn't your reaction when they told you that she was MIA.'

'I was young - younger - back then,' a sigh. 'It wasn't fair to you. Or to Anna. Especially to Anna. I'm sorry.'

No it wasn't, Lou wants to say, but - 'I've made peace with it a long time ago. Mom, me and Anna, Alaska; that was all you knew. I... I don't blame you for it.'

He has to close his eyes and press his forehead against the glass. He considers switching to German to further detach his emotions, but then he realizes that nearly everything has fled his mind from disuse. Why does he think spending his vacation with his father right after they discovered that his mother might have died painfully a good idea?

'That's what I thought I'd react when you called me, you know?' Papa says. 'I thought I'd break down. Then I realized that I've moved on and... that's it. Hard not to after more than twenty years.' Even with his vision gone, Lou can still feel his father's gaze on him. 'You've done that for your mother. Have you, for Anna? It's been ten years.'

'Have you, Papa?' Lou asks instead of answering even though he knows his answer. 'Can you stand the thought of your daughter gone as well?'

'After your mother?' the father feeds himself a mouthful of food and swallows. 'Kind of have to.'

'Of course you did. I raised her, not you.'

That is the last thing he says to his father before the storm goes away.

----

Emotionally exhausted, Lou goes to sleep early despite waking up not ten hours ago.

He knows he’s dreaming as soon as he opens the door and discovers his childhood living room behind it. The room is dark, so the lights must have been switched off, and even though it feels like he has smacked his hand all over the wall it’s on, he still can’t find the switch. It does bring him closer to the window, outside where a storm is going on at full force and paints everything white, and although he knows that what he is seeing isn’t real, he dreads the upcoming and necessary shovelling.

The world is suddenly lit up from behind him, followed by the voice of Neil deGrasse Tyson and the clicks of a keyboard. When Lou turns, Anna is there sitting in front of the couch, her brother's homework scattered in a semi-circle around her, and an old, bulky laptop snug between her crossed legs. It should have been a normal day in their house in Anchorage had Anna been a child but not an adult, which is the form Dream Anna is appearing in - she is younger than him by nearly eight years.

‘Where’s the light switch?’ Lou asks, looking around for good measure. ‘As much as you enjoy Cosmos, a documentary about space isn’t sufficient lighting.’

‘Relax,’ says Anna. ‘Eye problems aren’t in our genes.’ Then, waving at the papers around her, ‘Everything’s done. Your teachers didn’t suspect a thing,’ she gets younger and younger following each syllable until her age makes sense, ‘but you asked me to do it on a separate piece of paper, so I did. Feel free to copy directly if you wish.’

That is when Lou realizes that she’s playing games on the notebook, something that looks like a simplified version of Temple Run but set in space. ‘No thanks,’ he says. ‘I’d like to keep the creases on my brain.’ Then he notices that his sister didn’t really answer his question, so he asks again, ‘How am I supposed to switch on the lights?’

‘With your phone,’ is the matter-of-fact reply. ‘Don’t tell me you uninstalled the fucking app for cat pictures.’

‘For one last time, Anna, I don’t download cat pictures.’ And it hits him. ‘Wait, phone? The house isn’t automated when you’re at this age.’

‘Is it?’

Anna stands up and stalks closer to her brother, and she grows and grows and grows until they’re off the same height and she looks... older, how she should look like if she’s alive she’s still here. She is now Major Anna White Allen of the United States Air Force, dressed smartly in her dress uniform except for her cap, which she holds in her right hand. Their surroundings have also changed to that of the Phillips' penthouse terrace, harsh wind whipping around them.

'You aren't real,' Lou breathes, feeling light-headed. ‘You - you’re gone. Just like Mom.’

‘Open your eyes, then. End this early if you want to. Forget that this ever happened. I don’t mind.’

It is followed by a terrifying moment of wakefulness, the images blurring and then regaining clarity as he stays asleep. ‘And Papa wants me to let you go,’ he says with a sad chuckle.

‘Why?’

‘We found what’s left Mom. How long do we need to wait to find what’s left of you?’

‘Why are you talking like I’m dead?’

‘Cause you probably are, like Mom?’

‘I know you think we’re alike,’ an eye roll, ‘but we’re different.’

‘Say you’re not dead. Where the hell are you?’

‘Does it matter?’

A blink. They’re floating in space, Anna dressed in some form of armor, and Lou in normal clothes. He attempts to draw a breath and wakes up choking and crying, the dream completely forgotten save for the faint image of Anna falling towards earth and getting burnt to crisps.

----

A few days later, Lou finds himself walking on the beach with his father. The sky is cloudy and the wind is strong, so it is cool even though it’s September and Lou grew up in Alaska. They started throwing questions back and forth ten minutes into their walk, some of them silly and simple and give them a good laugh, but the others -

‘Answer me honestly, Louis. Do you think Anna’s dead?’

It is easy. ‘No.’

‘Where do you think she is, then?’

Lou’s face suddenly becomes too hot to bear. ‘Does it matter?’

‘If it affects you, yes.’

‘I don’t want to talk about it. She wouldn’t want us to speculate.’

‘But she’s not here, is she? Maybe you’ll feel better after you say it out loud.’

Lou sighs, oh how the turntables… ‘In space, probably.’

‘You’d think we’ll hear about that.’

‘Secret space programs exist, Papa.’

‘Not in America.’

‘I never said it’s an American program,’ Lou says as he kicks a rock away. ‘Do you know what they said when I received the first call from the Air Force? They asked me if Anna has ties with other space agencies even though she’s never been in NASA; she just talked about other countries’ space programs so much that they suspected her having ties with them.’

‘Hmm.’

‘What does that even mean?’

‘You know you won’t see her again, right?’

Lou halts his steps. Anna? Gone forever? ‘Does it matter?’

Papa sighs. ‘You’re in denial, Louis. You didn’t do this with your mother.’

How dare he - ‘Of course I didn’t, she was barely there!’ he has to put a few steps between them. ‘I raised Anna! How do you think that’s even comparable?’

‘I simply don’t want you to live in uncertainty for the rest of your life.’

‘You just don’t know your daughter,’ he counters. ‘She told me she’ll come back.’

‘You know -’

‘You don’t know shit!’

He runs. His lungs and legs are strained when he gets home, his father’s home, but he doesn't stop at that. He packs his stuff (not that there’s much to put back into his backpack), jumps into his rental car, and is back in Brest before he knows what he’s doing. His return flight is next week, so he has a lot of time to kill.

In the end, he takes a trip around the country alone, going to places he both never had time for and, if he’s been there before, misses dearly. He may have forgotten what they’ve talked about, but he remembers Anna visiting him often. The images flee his mind whenever he tries to recall them, but he doesn’t think they’re talking on earth, and he always wishes that he at least remembers some of it.

A few months later, he’ll learn that his speculations are closer to the truth than he thinks. A few months later, Louis Allen will prove his father wrong.

But he doesn’t know that yet. Therefore, after collecting the cats from Hank and unpacking his luggage, he takes all of Anna’s things and puts them into a box, telling himself that it is the first step towards admitting that maybe, it’s a big fucking maybe, he will never see his sister again.

#allen art week #allen appreciation #dbh allen #detroit: become human #dbh captain allen #allenartweek #allenappreciation #groom lake aftermath

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deniigi · 5 years ago

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Hi! So in sidebars you've mentioned stuff like Louis is a lot of peoples Spidey Ideal and that Miles is the favorite Spidey in Brooklyn, so I was wondering if you would be willing to expand on how the general public sees the spidey team?

Hi anon!

So the spidey team in general is pretty popular in the state, but the copy cats (Miles, Louis, Angel and Dave) are especially popular in the city. It’s kind of how people tell who is and isn’t a city local these days like, you ask them who their favorite Spidey/Team Red member is and if they start stammering or immediately choose the original Spidey, you know they’re a poser.

Those city people who truly pick Peter as their favorite Spidey catch loads of flack for it because like, everyone loves Peter. Peter’s the obvious choice. Most folks can find something in him to relate to.

But Peter can often be a little skittish and aloof when it comes to certain interactions, problems, and people. For example, if someone just grabbed Peter on the street while he was in the suit, he might try to punch them first before realizing what was going on--he’s got a lot of trauma that people aren’t aware of and his nice-friendly persona sometimes contradicts with the reality of his situation which is that he is a man with superstrength, lethal abilities, and years upon years of fighting experience. All that can make him a little unpredictable and that, in turn, can make him frightening at times.

This all works against his popularity, especially with middle-aged folks and authority figures.

So in terms of popularity based on community engagement, Louis is by far the most popular Spidey; some of that is because people mistake him to be Peter all the time. Many folks think that Peter is taller than he looks online (Pete is like, almost scraping 5′10″. Louis is about 6′1″/6′2″. Peter looks tall next to Angel and Miles, but between the others on Team Red, he’s still the shortest) and so they fall into the trap of giving him height he absolutely does not have.

Those who do recognize Louis as distinct from Peter (from the slightly toned down color of his suit and his lace-up boots) love him because he’s the gentlest Spidey and it shows in the ways that he will take time to talk to people who are committing crimes or who are victims. He sticks around to chat after a situation has been deescalated to figure out where the victim or perp is and if/where he can refer them for help if they’re calm enough to accept it. It’s a little thing that makes a big difference in terms of feeling cared for. While Peter will walk someone home and make them laugh to feel less scared in the moment, Louis has a list of community service orgs or resource centers, etc, which he keeps fliers and numbers for, so if one of his perps is say, struggling with an addiction problem or seems to be acting like they need some mental health support, he’ll offer them a place and a number. or if they ask, he’ll walk them to the location in question.

Louis is a great Spidey for connecting with people, even though he’s not the most skilled fighter on the team.

Miles is stupid popular in Brooklyn. Ever since someone caught him and his little accent whooping around the city on video, he’s been their favorite. He brings such a bright energy to the place that he kind of fits in with the busy-ness of the world around him. He makes people excited and he inspires pride in them as a symbol of hope. He’s really proud of his community, too. He does a lot of his work in the south and he wears sweaters and shoes and hats with the word ‘Brooklyn’ written on them. He takes loads of selfies and participates in a lot of memes and playful street heckling/games and has even wormed his way to the top of the polls with that tricky demographic of 8-17 and 35-50 years-old in his home borough. He’s much less popular in Manhattan and Queens than the older Spideys and is virtually unknown outside of the city (he’s getting there though, as people see Peter giving him more and more responsibility.)

Now Angel is super popular with girls, women, and femme folks of all ages, but she’s especially beloved among the femme-tending sort from about 5-15yo. Because she speaks Spanish, she also has a substantial popularity among Latine folks. She’s sassy and she’s brash and she’s not even a little apologetic for what she does or how she does it. She holds her own between the two big Spideys and has even proven herself to be able to bully Daredevil and Deadpool on occasion. She’s got a lot of ‘fuck with me and I’ll fuck with you twice as hard’ energy, which people in Mahattan and the Bronx love. She’s probably the third most popular Spidey, after Peter and like Miles, she also has a social media presence, only hers is less community-based and more for her entertainment.

Her twitter consists largely of her and Miles fighting and taking the piss out of Peter while he can’t defend himself.

People love this drama. They learn a lot about the other Spideys from Angel’s twitter and a lot of what they think they know about the others comes from there.

The man who is really shit out of luck here is Dave.

Matt’s identity as Daredevil was kind of an open, but unconfirmed secret in Hell’s Kitchen. Since he packed up and shipped off, and since Daredevil seemed to vanish with him, only to be occasionally sighted on the other coast, he accidentally confirmed the theory for a lot of folks. And in a way, a lot of them were delighted by Matt’s whole two-faced persona and his extremely bad attempts to keep the two faces separate. They got fond of him. So Dave faced a shitload of resistance at first. Even more so when there were these other shitty Daredevils running around, being dramatic and murder-y. The team all thought that after those guys were chased off, Dave’s popularity would increase, but that has emphatically not been the case.

People in Hell’s Kitchen are very attached to their Matt-DD and they continue to look at Dave with harsh judgement. He’s not silly enough or acrobatic enough for their tastes. Matt was the kind of guy to crash through a bus window, stumble over a load of folks, and bolt out the other side. Dave is the kind of guy who goes ‘well that’s not nice--who has to clean up that glass?’ and so goes around.

Basically, he’s not enough of a Daredevil for them. He’s not stupid, reckless, or devil-may-care enough, so he just doesn’t scratch that same itch in terms of embodying a Hell’s Kitchen-er identity or attitude. The community tolerates him because he does good work, but they all know when Matt’s in town to visit and when he is and he’s out with Dave chasing after his heels, the residents find it in their hearts to soften their opinions of Dave for the time being. (the jury’s still out on Sam for Hell’s Kitcheners, although the folks in SF, who know Daredevil and Blindspot as a two-man team, are totally on board with him.)

Phew! That was a lot of explaining! Hope this helps, though, anon!

#fic #inimitable verse #this was long!#I had to take 2 breaks!!#turns out my doc says I have not carpal tunnel (yet) but some kind of nerve thing going on #basically I need to wear braces and take lots of breaks while writing now #don't you just love getting old friends??

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lululawrence · 6 years ago

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lululawrence’s April 2019 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

Guess who’s back, back again... I actually wrote that when I drafted this post a month ago and I’m keeping it cause it’s funny ahhaha So this month has been a ride, hasn’t it? I’ve read some amazing fic though, so I’m super excited to talk about it with you! I read quite a few from the Shake Off the Dust collection as well as fics from the beginning of round 2 of @onedirectionbigbang and other various things as I tried and failed to keep up with all the new fic coming out haha We are so blessed to have so much amazing fic. So, without further ado, here are the fics I read and loved this month!

Hazy by @nikogda / nikogda This fic was written for me because I was anxious one day and they saw a post referring to it and they wrote this as a soothing fic for me and lemme tell ya, IT WORKED. It was so soft and... well... hazy. haha I loved it. A great fic to come back to on a rough day, for sure!

Keep Your Hands Up, So I Can See by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse / GMTYUniverse This fic was such a great HP AU! It was enemies to lovers with a touch of misunderstanding and frustrations and just all the good things with cameos by some of our favorite characters from the original series! I loved it very much a lot. It threw me into the world and made me smile quite a bit.

it's in his kiss by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface This is where Maggie took what she wrote through requests on ask and posted them to ao3 for the kiss meme and lemme tell ya! There’s some ships she wrote that I never felt a desire for, and she wrote them so perfectly that I almost started shipping them hahahaa Each chapter is it’s own little world and it pulled me in so entirely that they felt like full fics! How does she do that in such few words? I dunno. But they’re all glorious. Every last one. Defo a great read when things are hard too, i’d read a chapter when I had a moment and it made my busy, stressful days so much better.

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 I think this one was written for the short fic fest, and I loved it so so much! She describes Harry’s movements as “giraffing about” or something like that and I will never stop laughing about that. Add to it that Harry in the fic legit thought Louis was a mannequin and I just DIE. It’s amazing. Such a silly, fun fic!

Soju (소주) by @gettingaphdinmomo / gettingaphdinlarry This is a Shiall fic that just drew me in. It has such a visual and atmospheric pull to it, like all of her fics do, and it makes you almost feel as if you’re somehow there. I dunno how she does it, but her magic is worked for sure with this fic and I had to just sit there, and process when it ended. A fun, short fic to easily get lost in.

Just Go With It by @rainbowsandlovehl / rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife) This fic!!!! Meet Cute heaven! It was light and fluffy and awkward and silly and I loved it so much and for real this Brett character was TOO MUCH. hahahahaha With the added fun of the little jokes like talk of organic guacamole etc and I loved it so much. It was the smile I needed.

All I Want Is To Fall With You by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2 Mel keeps posting fics that are so fun! How does she do it? This time the crew takes on a ski trip and Louis has to deal with stupid alphas staying in the same cabin without knowing about it beforehand and of course nothing goes to plan! That’s half the fun, though, right? Besides. The alphas aren’t that bad. haha

Do You Wanna Ride by @phd-mama / phdmama She wrote this fic for @justalittlelouislove and I screamed reading it the whole time. I took so long reading it because I kept stopping to scream and share how uncomfortable I was over the obvious awkwardness and sexual tension and it was just SO SO SO GOOD. The embarrassment just gahhhhhhh I loved it.

Strawberries & Cigarettes by @dimpled-halo / dimpled_halo A year later I FINALLY read this and I loved it as much as I knew I would. I wanted pain, and it gave it to me! It gave me pain and healing and a gorgeous story. It was such a great read, I’m so so happy I finally had the time to dedicate to it because it was just. So much of everything I love.

Let It Down by @red--special / red_special This fic has also been on my to read list for ages and I am also so so happy I got to read it finally! It was such a great fic and so much fun and so sexy and funny and awkward and I wanted to bask in it a little longer. It was so so good. hahahaha I keep thinking about the tattoo and I can’t stop giggling. Just do yourself a favor and read this fic. haha

Like A Siren In The Night by @crazyupsetter / whoknows This is an a/b/o fic that I could not get enough of or read fast enough. It’s historical, though that doesn’t play a major role, and the playing with the world building was SO MUCH FUN to read. The way their relationship developed as well was just DELICIOUS. I loved every second of it.

please forgive me if my lips quake by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface Girl direction! With a cat! I was heart eyes the entire fic and once again, such feeling was evoked in it that I wanted to just sit and enjoy it for awhile longer. Sigh. What pure enjoyment! I loved it.

I was the King (tonight let it go) by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren I... Okay listen. lollll I didn’t write this obviously, but it felt like such a self indulgent read I almost wished I had? If that makes sense? It was everything I love. I LOVE the emotional side and thought behind BDSM. Like, that’s most of what makes it so so so interesting and fascinating for me to read, and Sada gave that to us with this fic in DROVES as well as the fighting against natural inclinations etc etc etc. It was just a fab fic and I loved so so so much of it.

Failure to Launch by @all-these-larrythings / Rearviewdreamer Michelle has a way of taking things I don’t know about and making me love them so so so much. This film was one that many I knew loved and I felt mainly meh about it, but I knew if Michelle wrote it I would love it, and I WAS RIGHT. She took all the things I was not fond of in the original and twisted them so it still referenced the original source, but made it so much better. I loved it so so so much because it was so very much like the original film, but also very much her own.

Come Home to Me by @pocketsunshineharry / ishiplouis I wanted pain, and pain was what I got. I cried and I kept waiting and waiting for things to come together again and they finally did! But WOW the pain leading up to that! It was amazing how much was harnessed in it. I will say, please beware the tags. Some heavy topics are handled in the fic - including some depression/anxiety etc - so please be safe with that. A great read, though!

fondre ton absence by @scrunchyharry / scrunchyharry OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I just. I’m a sucker for WWI and WWII period anything. It’s one of my favorite periods in history for the social, political, militaristic, just EVERYTHING historically. I find it fascinating and I adore it. I was both excited and wary how this would go then, knowing how much I love it. Well. I cried the entire way through and was in awe of how the time period and everything was handled. It’s an amnesia friends to lovers wartime period-typical homophobia acknowledging fic which basically means it is my dream fic. I cannot rave about it enough, much less the incredible art that was done by @whenthebodiesspeak!!! It was STUNNING and yeah. Just. Amazing. A masterpiece.

An Unbalanced Force by @kingsofeverything / FullOnLarrie MAROLD HAROLD with art by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse! I cried a few times during this one and it was such a realistic and beautiful and comprehensive view of a relationship, of adulthood, of trying to find love again after, just... all of it. It is a study of flawed individuals trying to make do and learning where their lines are and it is gorgeous. I loved it so so so much and I keep randomly thinking about it. A great fic and worth the wait and teasing she gave us over the months! hahahaha

That's What I'm Here For by @taggiecb / taggiecb ANOTHER DREAM FIC, ANOTHER FIC THAT MADE ME CRY! I cannot rave enough about how this big bang has kicked off, like, I just truly cannot. @noellehenry did a gorgeous moodboard for it as well, and I just. Demisexual farmer Louis who has been on his own for so long he just. Hardly knows how to be social anymore and Harry has to come and teach him and I’m about to give away spoilers so I’ll stop but this fic is so close to my heart, okay? I love love love love love it.

To Carry Onward by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry THIS LITTLE FIC!!! I keep yelling, I know. Sorry not sorry. But for real it’s 500 words and just...so full of love and longing and mystery and hope and I cannot. I love Emmu’s words and worlds and this is no exception.

A Spell and A Spark by @dinosaursmate / dinosaursmate It’s out in the world! This fic was everything I needed when I read it. I was having a really rough time, and I would get to the end of those days and get to read this fic and it soothed me, cheered me, and took me away to another world. It was so much fun and just pure joy to read. And then the art that @londonfoginacup made for it! It was such a great combo of writing and art. Another wonderful fic for big bang!

{insert acclaimed artist} was never even in love anyway by underthesunlight This is the first of several fics I read from the Shake Off the Dust collection and it was such a fun read. It was domestic and silly and soft and it made me smile.

Primtemps by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry She’s just so good, isn’t she? I finished this fic and almost immediately went back to the beginning because I wanted to read it again. It’s so soft and you could almost SMELL what she was describing. It was a perfect read of a perfect day and it made me long for the days in the past that I’d had like it. Glorious.

Taking Care of You (Is My Favorite Thing) by @allthelarrylovex / cherrylarry Niam! Not usually my pairing of choice, but I loved it so much. I also very much identified with the shitty allergies aspect of it as I am dealing with that myself at the moment, so it just had me sitting there nodding like IT REALLY DOES SUCK BABES I GET IT hahaha

You Keep Me Warm by @crinkle-eyed-boo / crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks) I’ve not read Own the Scars yet, but I still read this despite it being a time stamp, and I’m so glad I did. I loved it and it made me smile. It also made me want to read the original, so I can’t wait until I have a chance to!

Love's Gentle Spring by @laynefaire / Layne Faire (HisDarlin) This is also a continuation! It’s a fun addition to her spring drabbles from last year, which are not necessary to read in order to enjoy this, though it does add to the fun hahaha I loved that little series so much and was very very glad she made this addition!

Housewives of Our Lives by @homosociallyyours / homosociallyyours I’ve never watched any of the housewives shows, but that didn’t matter. As usual Megan wrote a fic that had me wanting to be their friend and hang out with them as they did these ridiculous things because it sounded like such fun. I loved it as well.

A Larry Limerick by @kingsofeverything / FullOnLarrie I know this was mostly silly and to be funny, but I enjoyed it so I’m including it here hahaha

sun, here it comes by @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld and It's been a long, cold, lonely winter by @kingsofeverything / FullOnLarrie I’m putting both of them here, because if you haven’t read them yet you should. They are two sides of the same story, and I fully recommend you read them in the order I listed them too haha I did and it was wonderful and delightful and basically all things good. SO much fun.

just me, him, and the moon by HazHas4Nips This was cuuuuuuute! I don’t even know what more to say, I just keep sitting here and smiling thinking about it. So I guess if you want a fic that makes you smile, this is a great little one.

Spring Break by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 This fic came out of a partially true story and it was so much fun to finally be able to read what Anitra did with it haha I was giggling and loving it so so much the entire way. As usual. Can’t go wrong.

What's Mine is Yours by @uhohmorshedios / yeah_alright This fic is listed as a Narry fic, and it is, but it’s Narry friendship which made me giggle so so so much! hahaha It was so funny and the way Harry was described and Niall’s just...almost annoyance? I can’t even explain. It’s so much fun.

Latching Onto You by @reminiscingintherain / reminiscingintherain This fic is pure fluff. Fluff and silliness and all things sweet and good. I was trying to find the best way to describe it and the first thing that came to mind was it was a bowl of sweet dessert and I finally realized it’s a parfait. It’s got layers, but all of it is sweet and soft and yummy. hahaha SO if that sounds like something amazing in a fic, then you defo wanna give this a read!

Face Your Fears by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren I’ll be honest, I finished this one around 2 am after a very long day and had to wake up too early again this morning, so I still haven’t fully computed this fic lollll Just know the pain is real, it is glorious, the journey the characters all take and the way Harry and Louis’ relationship grows is so incredible, I just... this fic is everything I’ve wanted in an a/b/o since I started reading a/b/o almost five years ago haha

And that’s my very long fic list from this month! I hope you enjoy them as much as I did if you give them a try. And please remember to leave nice comments and kudos for the authors who work so hard to gift us with these stories! Happy reading :D

#mine #fic list #my fic rec #fic rec #april 2019 fic list #28th appreciation #fic writer appreciation

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unfortunate-stranger-losers · 6 years ago

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Six Baudelaires AU, Part Two: Reference Guide

A quick guide for everything I intentionally referenced in The Six Siblings, Part Two: This Tale is All Sorrows and Woes.

{ao3} {tumblr} {part one reference guide}

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING - the plot twists from this section of the fanfiction will be discussed at length.

Without further ado…

Chapter One / Prologue - in which Lilac has to Older Sister

“Release Nick, you fiend!” Violet tackled Klaus to the ground, as both of her brothers burst into giggles. “Never! Nick’s my prisoner of war!” Klaus said, trying (and failing) to push her off.

Nick being the “captive” in the childrens’ game throughout the chapter is a bit of an obvious foreshadow to his captivity from Chapters 12-20... which meant it was really fun when none of you noticed until then and then tried to kill me. XD

A full reference of the books namedropped in the childrens’ game:

Violet and Nick’s kingdom, Terabithia, is from Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson. Their original characters, either Susan/Lucy and Peter/Edmund, are a reference to The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis.

Lilac and Klaus’s kingdom, Gwyntystorm, and their characters, Irene and Curdie, are from The Princess and the Goblin and its sequel, The Princess and Curdie, by George MacDonald.

Lilac says she thought Nick was Eragon, from The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini, and Klaus says he was Aragorn, from The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. Nick’s suggestion for a new name, Glaedr, is also a character from The Inheritance Cycle. Nick finally decides to be Peter Pan, obviously from Peter Pan by JM Barrie.

“Naw, they definitely are.” Nick nodded. “When a new baby is born, one of the other children has to die. Everyone knows it.” [...] “Now, since it’s a girl maybe, they could take out one of them,” he gestured towards Violet and Lilac, “But you’re the most useless, Klaus, so-” [...] “But yeah. Babies suck and we should totally throw our sister off the roof.”

Direct reference to Addams Family Values (1993)

“Watch me.” Nick’s eyes lit up. “Wait, no, better plan. You guys remember Moses-”

Reference to the story of Moses, who was placed in a basket in a river as an infant.

Lilac quickly answered the phone, saying, “Baudelaire residence. This is Lilac Emily. To whom am I presently speaking?”

Lilac’s middle name is taken from her actress, Emily Browning.

“We’re sensible and proper!” Nick added.

A reference to S Theodora Markson’s catchphrase in All the Wrong Questions.

“What was that, Dad? No, no real ropes. Yeah, promise. We’ll go to bed on time, too. But you’ll all be back in the morning? Yeah, I know. Don’t open the windows.”

The Baudelaire parents don’t want to risk their children getting recruited.

“He said we have a new sister.” Lilac reported. “Solitude Theodora Baudelaire.”

A direct reference to S Theodora Markson.

“Can we make a blanket fort?” Klaus asked. “Like we used to?”

Much like the last prologue, this is a reference to the scene from the 2004 film.

Rest of the fic under the cut.

Chapter Two - in which the Baudelaires move into a nice Shack

As he stood, Nick turned to look at his brother, and after a second, he realized something. “Wait a minute.” he said. “Are you… taller than me?”

A reference to Louis Hynes’s growth spurt inbetween TMM and TAA in the Netflix series. (Though, fun fact, at this moment in time, Liam Aiken is currently taller than Louis Hynes, so I guess Nick eventually does end up taller.)

Violet groaned and stood, and Solitude said, “Winnie,” which meant, “We could have Babbitt judge; they’re good with numbers!”

A reference to the main character of Babbitt’s namesake, Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt.

After a moment, Nick said, “I’ll give you a tip.” “Yes?” Nick smiled slightly. “There’s a book, about the mother of a girl who reminds me a lot of you, in that everyone thinks she is adorable and perfect. The mother gets scared when the girl’s classmate drowns on a field trip and her daughter steals something shiny off of him, and she then finds out that she has a very suspicious genealogy.”

Nick giving tips in the form of book recommendations is a reference to Lemony’s habit of doing the same thing to Pip and Squeak in All the Wrong Questions. This is a double reference, as Liam Aiken, Nick’s actor, read the audiobooks for ATWQ.

The book he is referencing is The Bad Seed by William March.

“Gah-ahc.” said Solitude, which meant, “Let’s sleep outside.”

One of Soli’s lines in the 2004 film.

Chapter Three - in which the Baudelaires make new friends

Sunny narrowed her eyes. “Armoracia,” she muttered, which meant something like, “That doesn’t sound right. Apples and Horseradish taste very differently.”

Early foreshadowing for Sunny’s cooking interest.

“I can get the windows,” Lilac said, “Should be an ordinary-enough pin-tumbler lock.”

The phase “ordinary enough pin-tumbler lock” is repeated a lot, as a reference to the second All the Wrong Questions book, When Did You See Her Last?

“Yeah, there’s no locks.” Duncan said. “Bonnie said that they fell off a few years ago and never got replaced.”

A reference to a main character from The Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken.

Chapter Four - in which Duncan and Isadora break into a Library

“See? Researcher. Like Klaus.” Nick said. Klaus narrowed his eyes at his twin, trying to figure out what Nick was on about. “Is that… really important?” “Yes.” Nick said, and failed to elaborate. [...] “I think Klaus and Duncan should take the fungus.” Violet said, sharing a look with Nick. “The rest of us can keep an eye out for that book.” “Why should we take the fungus?” Violet held back a smile and shrugged, but Klaus quickly figured out what was going on. His face went red, and he glared at her, but Duncan said, “I’m fine with that,” so all he could do was shrug and keep shooting his siblings dark looks.

Violet and Nick are trying to set Duncan and Klaus up, much to Lilac’s horror.

“Like a little cat.” Duncan said. “One of those feral ones that are super tiny.”

A reference to the world’s smallest cat, the Rusty-spotted cat.

“That doesn’t sound right, but I really don’t give a shit.” Nick shrugged. “We’ll find it, won’t we, Soli?”

A reference to a line from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode 5x03, “The Great Recession”, which later became a meme - “That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about stars to dispute it.”

Chapter Five - in which the children run amok at Prufrock Prep

“You’re lucky.” Isadora said, sitting on the edge of the roof and kicking her legs as she looked down at the dying grass fields. “Our parents’ estate’s executor doesn’t give a fuck until orphans are ‘in’, whatever the hell that means.”

As revealed in The Slippery Slope book, Esme was left in charge of the Quagmires’ estate.

Lilac giggled. “Yeah. Mom used to have [a necklace] just like it, except instead of these gear patterns, it had her initials. I always thought it was pretty, but she never let me wear it, so I learned how to make my own. She was… so proud.”

2004 Film Violet does indeed have a necklace throughout the entire film; I just added a backstory.

“Nick Liam Baudelaire, what the hell is that?” Lilac shouted.

Nick’s middle name is in reference to his actor, Liam Aiken.

“Marbeau,” said Sunny, meaning, “Maybe they’ve finally opened a daycare or toddler school.”

A reference to Firmin Marbeau, who pioneered a forerunner of modern daycare.

Chapter Six - in which the Baudelaires have Gym Class

“Tik,” said Sunny, meaning, “No! Typing and stapling is so hard when we’re tired!”

“Tik” spelled backwards is “Kit”, which, no, is not a reference to Kit Snicket, but Kit Kittredge, who famously carries a typewriter.

“Say goodbye to Nick, Solitude.” Lilac said, grabbing the toddler’s hand and dragging her to her feet.

Another bit of foreshadowing for Nick’s capture.

“Olil.” Sunny groaned. “Leave me alone to die.”

“Olil” spelled backwards is “Lilo”, as Sunny is directly quoting a line from Lilo & Stitch (2002).

“Speaking of which,” Carmelita said, “As this is the second message I gave you, I really deserve a tip at this point.” “There’s a book about what happens when you let a bunch of schoolchildren run around unsupervised,” Klaus said, “And it features a pig’s head on a stick.”

Once again, the book recommendation instead of a tip is an All the Wrong Questions reference.

Klaus is recommending Lord of the Flies by William Golding.

Chapter Seven - in which Nick gets them all in Even More Trouble

“I’m just telling you what I was told to tell you.” Carmelita giggled. “And since this is my eleventh message, you’re overdue eleven tips.” “We gave you our tips.” Nick said, glaring at her. “But here’s today’s; there’s a book that was made into a popular film that is about a hound dog and a fox. In the book, at the end, the hound kills the fox.”

Once again, ATWQ reference with the tips.

The book he’s recommending is The Fox and the Hound by Daniel P Mannix; and, yes, that IS how the book ends. The Hound dies, too. You’re welcome for ruining your childhood.

“Klaus?” he sounded very uncharacteristically terrified. “Klaus? Are you okay?” Klaus, startled, quickly stumbled out, “Y-yeah, I’m fine…” as Lilac and Violet also jumped up, grabbing the infants, and the Quagmires hurried to their feet. “Did your glasses break?” “No, I’m-” “Are you hurt?” Nick pulled away from his slightly, his eyes moving fast as he scanned his brother.

While Nick’s PTSD worsens much later, the first signs of it start showing here; he’s still traumatized from Klaus’s hypnotism, which was always kicked off with him getting tripped and his glasses breaking.

“I wouldn’t say that.” said Nick, glaring down at the floor. He hadn’t looked anybody in the eye since he’d attacked Carmelita.

Nick isn’t ashamed of attacking Carmelita; he’s ashamed that he “overreacted” to something so minor. He doesn’t like admitting he needs help, which becomes a problem after his capture.

“We know what homeschooling is.” Violet said. “We were-”

In this continuity, the Baudelaires were homeschooled before the fire.

“Halloween, age nine,” Isadora said, “Was when we wanted to go as a certain family of six children. The problem being that there’re only three of us.”

A reference to The Brady Bunch.

“We know you’re not asking.” Isadora said, smiling. “We’re volunteering.”

whelp.

Chapter Eight - in which Lilac Snaps

No major references in this chapter.

Chapter Nine - in which the Baudelaires are given Fashion Lessons

They fell silent again, and then quietly, Lilac started to sing. She sang a song that was normally played very loud and energetic, but she gave it a slower melody, quietly soothing Sunny as they walked up and up the large staircase. It was a song about how everybody’s looking for something, and as they walked, listening to Lilac’s soft voice, they all really hoped that whoever was looking for the Quagmires would find them quickly.

A reference to “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)” by Eurythmics, but more specifically, a reference to Emily Browning’s cover version.

“Ah, you’re very adventurous!” Jerome said. “Just like your mother. We were friends a ways back. We hiked up Mount Fraught with some friends- gosh, it must have been twenty years ago-” [...] “Hmm? Oh, no, just the Snickets and that Markson boy.” Lilac narrowed her eyes. “Who?”

“That Markson boy” is a reference to the theory that Bertrand Baudelaire was adopted by S Theodora Markson’s family. Lilac’s recognition is not of her father’s maiden name, but of “Snicket”, which she vaguely remembers from her childhood.

Chapter Ten - in which the In Auction is planned

Currently, the Baudelaires were spread out in the living room. Nick and Klaus were trying to read through a book on Emily Dickinson that they’d bought the other day, while Violet and Lilac were going through the newspaper, trying to find something interesting, or some news on the search for Count Olaf.

The Baudelaires miss the Quagmires so much they’ve accidentally picked up their habits; Emily Dickinson is a famous poet, and Violet and Lilac are reading the newspaper.

“She seems like the kind of person who’d try to set me up with some rich kid.” Nick said. “And I’m never getting married, not even when I’m older. I’m gonna live alone in the woods, and the only one who can come visit me is Soli.”

Nick is aromantic.

“Ihering!” Soli said, which meant something like, “I’ll live with you and we can raise reptiles in the woods!”

A reference to Hermann von Ihering, a zoologist.

The waiter nodded. “I didn’t realize this was a sad occasion.” [...] “Did you say-?” Lilac began.

The waiter is a VFD agent; once again, Lilac vaguely recognizes the code phrase.

Chapter Eleven - in which Klaus finds an Ersatz Elevator

“I’m not going to let us chase red herrings!” Lilac shouted back, hurt.

Dark foreshadowing to the red herring statue.

“Solitude is,” Nick said, moving past him to find a pencil and paper, “Sunny is the albatross that curses us.” “Doom!” Sunny cheered.

A reference to The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

“It worked.” Violet smiled. “We never expected otherwise.” Klaus said.

A reference to the line from “The Bad Beginning: Part One” in the Netflix series.

Chapter Twelve - in which the Baudelaires fall

“Not so bad.” Solitude muttered. Then, she said, “Radec,” which meant, “Just think of it as a ride, instead of an actual fall.”

“Radec” spelled backwards is “Cedar”; a lowkey reference to Cedar Point.

“No, we’re going to make a lockpick.” Lilac said. “Flamethrower’s too volatile. Besides, I don’t trust you with it.”

“Too volatile” is a reference to the phrase being used in The Grim Grotto.

She spun on her heel, exiting out a door behind them. As she did, Nick said, “Should I go after her and tell her the kitchen was out the other door?”

Esme went to call Olaf and the henchpeople, instead of going to the kitchen.

“Yeet Babbitt.” Solitude suggested.

A reference to the vine/meme.

They had to walk through a parlor to get to the door, and as they did, Nick stopped a moment, glancing at the phone. It didn’t look broken. “Hey, guys?” he called, but they didn’t hear him, so he started to run to catch up.

Nick started to run to catch up; he never did, because that’s when one of Olaf’s henchpeople grabs him.

And then, with a swish, there was a thump, thump, thump, and the Baudelaires stopped falling.

Only three thumps- because Klaus and Lilac were carrying the toddlers, and Nick didn’t fall, only three kids hit the net.

“Nhojnod!” Sunny shouted. “You bastard!”

“Njohnod” is “Don John” spelled backwards, a reference to the character from Much Ado About Nothing, who is a bastard in both the legal and ethical use of the term.

Chapter Thirteen - in which Sunny crawls up an elevator shaft

“Sunday Theodora Baudelaire!” Lilac shouted. “You get back down here right now!”

Sunny’s middle name, “Theodora”, is once again a reference to S Theodora Markson; even after her death, she’s still confusing people about what the S stood for.

Sunny sighed and turned slightly towards them, calling out, “Salvo!” which probably meant something like, “I’m going to go get us some rope and see if I can find Nick! I’ll be back soon!”

“Salvo” is a Latin verb, meaning “to save.”

Sunny bit her lip and shook her head. “Appentier,” she said, meaning, “He’s not in the penthouse, at least from what I saw.”

“Appentier” is a french word from which “penthouse apartment” is derived.

“Kim?” Sunny asked, meaning, “Wait, we get leeway for being kidnapped?”

“Kim” is the name of the girl who is kidnapped in the film Taken (2008).

Solitude glanced at her in confusion. “Greywater?” “Yes, Soli,” Violet said, “A word which here means, ‘basically piss and shit.’”

A reference to a line from IT: Chapter One (2017).

Chapter Fourteen - in which Some Children are sold at auction

“You’d be surprised what’s legal and what’s not, actually.” Esme said. “For instance, in our society, cannibalism is legal, but religiously frowned upon-”

A reference to the only ASOUE canon that matters, the Real-Time Fandub. (part one, part two)

“Very interesting.” Olaf said. “And I suppose you think that your dear sister Lilac will take care of you then?”

Olaf is taunting Nick here, as he’s about to drop quite a lot of secrets to him, but mainly that Lilac is his half-sister.

Notably, Nick is the only Baudelaire not present in this header image.

Chapter Fifteen - in which Nobody’s having a good time

No major references in this chapter.

Chapter Sixteen - in which Lilac has a bad plan

For sapphires and fortunes we are held in here. Only you can end our fear.

Isadora’s poems are ever-so-slightly different in this AU, due to Nick’s presence.

The addition of and fortunes indicates that Nick is still with them.

Until dawn comes, we cannot speak speak. No voices come from this sad beak.

“voices” is more specific than “words can”; Nick has already started to go nonverbal due to his trauma, and Duncan and Isadora are unable to yell through the statue.

Chapter Seventeen - in which the Village makes a Big Mistake

But as she passed the Baudelaires, her hand slipped, and the man turned and met Lilac’s eyes. He stared for a moment, as if he realized with a shock he recognized her from somewhere. Then, he said, very quietly, “The world is quiet here.”

Jacques is realizing that Lilac has Lemony’s eyes; if he hadn’t realized before she was his niece, he does now. He tries to signal her with a VFD codephrase.

“Now,” Lilac said, “We will need full access to all your inventing materials.” “And I’ll need blueprints of the uptown jail.” Klaus said. “Dead fly.” said Solitude.

While this is an obvious reference to Soli wanting to feed Babbitt, it is also a reference to a similar request made by Wednesday Addams in the 1964 sitcom The Addams Family, episode 1x10, “Wednesday Leaves Home.”

The first thing you read contains our clues: An initial way to speak to you.

“Our clues”, once again, signals that Nick is still with the Quagmires.

Chapter Eighteen - in which Count Olaf was not murdered

No major references in this chapter.

Chapter Nineteen - in which the Twins get a Birthday Present

“You won’t keep Nick.” Lilac added. “He’ll get away from you, and the Quagmires, too! We’re never going to give up, and neither are they!” “Baudelaires don’t give up!” Solitude shouted. Olaf just smiled. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”

Nick’s trauma has already caused him to shut down completely, and Olaf knows this.

Inside these letters the eye will see Nearby are your loved ones and the VFD

Nick and the Quagmires are still together.

Chapter Twenty - in which Sunny drives a Firetruck

“Nick, hey.” Isadora slowly pulled away from Violet and Lilac and stepped closer to the fountain, her voice very soft. “Your siblings found us. We were right. They found us.”

The Quagmires aren’t as traumatized as Nick; they’ve learned how to avoid the wrath of their captors, and have complete faith that the Baudelaires will save them. Nick’s been tortured and told quite a lot of things that temporarily broke him.

Duncan and Isadora shared a glance, and to the Baudelaires’ surprise, Nick flinched and also shared the triplets’ look. “Well, that’s not a surprise.” Duncan said. “He was the brother of a man who-”

Duncan, Isadora and Nick all know about Jacques Snicket, his relationship to Lemony, and Lemony’s relationship to Lilac.

Nick was backing away from the fence, eyes wide, gripping onto Solitude so hard his knuckles were white. Isadora ran forwards, and Lilac realized then that he was shaking uncontrollably. “Nick, Nick, it’s okay!” Isadora said. She reached forwards, grabbing his face. “Look at me! Look at me! Duncan-” Duncan ran over, putting a hand on Nick’s shoulder, as Nick said, “They’re going to find us. They’re going to catch us. They’re going to find us-”

A lot of Nick’s trauma came from punishments after he attempted to escape, so he goes into a panic whenever they’re about to be caught.

At that moment, Solitude pushed Babbitt onto Nick’s shoulder and said, “Hold this!” She immediately started running, jumping over Lilac and crawling through the window and onto the seat beside Sunny. Then she slid to the floor and jumped on the gas pedal, causing them to take off again.

A reference to Pip and Squeak from All the Wrong Questions, who drove their taxi in a similar way.

Klaus stared back, and then his gaze hardened, and his siblings had never seen him look so furious. “I’m going to kill them.” Klaus vowed, and he meant it. “I’m going to kill them, Nick.” Nick’s eyes widened, and for several seconds, he looked like he physically could not process what his brother had just said.

A running joke up to this point was that Nick would suggest murder and Klaus would remind him that was illegal; after seeing his brother in such a state of shock and fear, this gag drops as Klaus decides Olaf and his troupe have to die.

Chapter Twenty-One - in which Nick is not feeling great

Meanwhile, Klaus was leaning against the wall, with Nick leaning onto his shoulder, curled up so he could be as close to his brother as possible. He had his eyes shut, but Lilac knew he wasn’t asleep; she didn’t think he’d slept at all.

A symptom of severe trauma is the loss of sleep, either because of nightmares, or fear of what could happen while in such a defenseless position. This will be explored in Part Three.

Nick bit his lip, and then nodded and said, “I-I’m sorry-”

Nick’s gotten over the initial shock of his rescue, and he’s starting to regret breaking down and starting to hate being so obviously traumatized.

“Wait, Li…” Nick paused. “Can I… can I talk to you?” “Of course.” Lilac said softly. Nick glanced from Klaus to Violet to the toddlers. “Alone?”

Nick has decided it’s Lilac’s right to know she has a different (possibly living?) biological dad than the rest of them, but he also knows it’s her decision who else she wants to know, hence why he wants to tell her alone.

Nick looked up at Klaus, and said, “I-I…” he shut his eyes. “I thought I heard… no, no, I must’ve… I thought I heard her, but… I had to… she wouldn’t… have found us this fast…”

Esme and Olaf were Nick’s main tormentors; they trigger his panic attacks more than the presence of the rest of the troupe.

“No! No, don’t leave!” Nick shouted, leaping forwards and grabbing Klaus’s arm.

Nick is absolutely terrified of isolation/abandonment, especially in enclosed spaces.

“Never!” Klaus pushed Nick farther, incredibly terrified by just how quiet his brother was.

Nick was punished a lot for “backtalking” his captors, so when he’s around Olaf and Esme, he almost never speaks.

Chapter Twenty-Two - in which the Baudelaires break into a Hospital

“Dimidium,” Sunny said, which meant, “Well, it’s only half a hospital.”

“Dimidium” is a Latin noun, meaning “half.”

“We could kick down the door.” Lilac suggested. Then, she gave Nick a small smile. “Remember, Nick? When you were locked in the closet and wanted Mom to kick down the door?”

A reference to a previous one-shot for the Six Baudelaires AU.

“Do you think that’ll have the information we need?” Violet asked. Nick flinched again, and then he said, “Um-”

Nick heard the word “Snicket”, and immediately assumes the worst- that it’ll out Lilac to the rest of their siblings.

Chapter Twenty-Three - in which Solitude steals some shit

Nick still didn’t respond, and Violet’s voice broke. “You have to remember. You couldn’t have been younger than… six or seven. Mother and Father were so mad, when they found us I thought they were going to explode… but you weren’t even upset, I cried but you just said you’d… you’d heard some kind of animal cry, and you thought it might need help, and I was the only one awake to help you… they got even madder, told you you should’ve stayed with them, but you didn’t see anything wrong, and… Nick, please tell me you remember that…”

An animal cry is a signal from VFD recruiters to prompt the children to say the codephrase that begins recruitment. The Baudelaire parents don’t want their children recruited, and were terrified to wake up and find their children gone on a night that they could have been kidnapped.

Violet carefully pulled the scraps from her pocket, spreading them out in front of her, while Klaus turned to Nick. “Did they tell you anything?” he asked. “While you were… with them? About VFD, or this whole ‘Snicket’ thing, or Olaf?” Nick didn’t look anyone in the eye. “There wasn’t… much time to chat. I only… Lilac, can we talk?”

Pretty much all of Nick’s pleas for Lilac to talk to her are brought on when Snicket is mentioned.

Nick pulled away, scratching at his arm, “That’s not…”

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: IMPLIED SELF HARM

Nick’s arm scratches are a tic he picked up during his captivity; he starts to scratch whenever his captors are mentioned, to keep himself alert. This will be discussed and resolved in Part Three.

Nick looked sharply up at her and said, “Mom stole from Esme. She wouldn’t give a shit.”

Nick knows about the theft of the sugar bowl, as well as the Opera Night. (which are separate incidents, fuck you Netflix.) He’s very pissed at his parents for keeping vital information from them.

Chapter Twenty-Four - in which Violet makes a decision

They went to the Js. Then, quietly, Nick said, “Can we go to the L cabinets?” “Why?” Lilac asked. Nick glanced towards his siblings, and then away. “Just a guess.” Lilac shrugged directed them to the Ls, and Nick flipped through one drawer, eyes narrowed. Then he shook his head. “Nothing here.”

He’s looking under both “Lemony” and “Lilac.”

Nick paused. “I mean… we don’t have to- to watch it right away.” [...] “Li, please,” he said, ��Can we talk? Just outside, just the two of us, there’s something-”

Nick wants to be able to tell Lilac about the whole “Lemony Snicket” thing before they can risk having her find out from the file.

“I did.” Jacques nodded. “I managed to contact-”

He managed to contact Quigley.

“We’ll find them.” Lilac swore. “Are you okay?” “Yeah.” “Are you scared?” “I’m scared you won’t let me make a flamethrower and turn it on that bitch.”

A reference to this incorrect quote, which is, of itself, a reference to a line from the television show Brooklyn Nine-Nine, episode 3x10, “Yippie Kayak.”

Still no response. Lilac looked around in terror, her hand flying to her necklace. “Violet Malina Baudelaire! You get the fuck out here!”

Violet’s middle name is taken from her actress, Malina Weissman.

Chapter Twenty-Five - in which Lilac breaks down

“I’m not…” Lilac sniffled. “I’m not like you.” Nick froze. “What does that mean?” “You all are so close.” Lilac shut her eyes. “You and Solitude, you and Klaus, you and Violet, Violet and Klaus, Klaus and Sunny, Solitude and Sunny… all of you. You’re all each others’ best friends. None of you care about me like that. [...] I just… feel like… like there’s this wall between us. That we can’t see, but we can’t cross. And I can see you all… you all together. And I just… can’t be like that. Cause I have to be responsible? Cause I’m the oldest? Cause… cause I just can’t be loved?” “Li!” Nick put a hand on her cheek, turning her towards him. “Li, we do love you. You’re our big sister! You’re our sister! You are our family! Sure, we pick on you, but not because we hate you! We all love you, too!”

This is why Nick doesn’t take the opportunity to tell her about her heritage; he wants to wait for a moment where the information won’t give her more anxiety, or make her think she’s somehow less family.

Nick paused a moment, and then he leaned his head on her shoulder, shut his eyes, and said, “They fuck you up, your Mom and Dad. [...] They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had, then add some extra, just for you.” Lilac stiffened for a second, and then carefully put an arm around Nick. “Where… where’d you learn that?” “The Library.” Nick lied.

Nick is quoting “This Be the Verse” by Philip Larkin, which is later quoted by Olaf in “The End.” He learned the poem during his captivity.

“Nick.” Lilac wiped her eyes, and then put her hands on his. “It’s okay to… to talk about what happened to you.” Nick bit his lip. “That’s…” “I’ve been busy, yes, but I’ve also been scared. Scared that I’ll… I’ll hear something that makes everything worse.” Lilac’s eyes darted to the ground a moment, before going back up to Nick. “But I’ll listen. I want to hear you. I want you to tell me.”

TRIGGER WARNING: CSA MENTION

Lilac has been avoiding Nick in fear that he’ll explain what he suffered under Olaf. While she knows learning the details can help her better protect her brother, she is terrified that she won’t be able to handle it, and she’s completely terrified he might have been sexually assaulted, seeing as Olaf threatened to do that to Violet specifically to punish Lilac, and he had Nick under his control for a while.

Nick smiled at her. “You can do anything, sis.”

Nick knows she’s biologically his half-sister, but he wants to make completely sure she knows he will always consider her his sister and his family, and nothing can change that.

Chapter Twenty-Six - in which Klaus impersonates a Doctor

Nick flinched. “You want to be like him?”

Something to note: After his capture, Nick never refers to Olaf or Esme by their names; just him or her.

Nick took a deep breath. “These vents are a lot bigger than I thought, but, um… they’re still pretty cramped.” Solitude shrugged. Of course it didn’t seem cramped to her, she was only a little over two feet tall. “I was just… I’m not sure I like how small it is.”

Nick’s claustrophobia, gained from being trapped in a red herring, a statue, and possibly other small spaces inbetween, is starting up.

“Doctor Howser.” Lilac said in an austrailian accent, thinking very fast. “We’re going to perform surgery soon.”

A reference to Doogie Howser, MD, which starred a young Neil Patrick Harris, who played Olaf in the Netflix series.

“Since when could you do an Austrailian accent?” “You don’t know everything about me.” Lilac scanned the list.

Lilac’s actress, Emily Browning, is Australian.

Chapter Twenty-Seven - in which the Baudelaires jump out a window

Nick had placed Solitude onto the ground and now held Violet by the shoulders, shaking her slightly as he shouted. “What did they do to you, Vi? Vi, what did they do?”

Nick knows exactly what could have happened to Violet in captivity, so he’s completely and utterly panicked.

“I’m with Klaus.” Nick said shakily. “We go together or not at all.”

A reference to the track “Together or Not at All” from Doctor Who, by Murray Gold.

Chapter Twenty-Eight - in which the Baudelaires visit a Carnival

No major references in this chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Nine - in which Solitude finally morphs into a reptile

“Well, if they…” Nick shut his eyes. “We just… better get there before they drink too much, that’s all.”

Nick has had experience with the troupe while drunk, and would rather attempt to speak with them before it goes too far.

“Well, then,” Lulu said, stepping forwards and looking a bit confused, “What exactly are you, please?” “You can call me Babydoll.” Lilac said.

A very clear reference to the character that Emily Browning played in Sucker Punch (2011).

Surprisingly, the henchpeople looked a little startled at that, as did Lulu, but Esme laughed. “Sounds like my kind of girl!” she said. “I drowned an ex once. So did you, dear, right?” Olaf was taking another swig of wine, so they couldn’t exactly see his reaction.

Olaf “drowning an ex” is a reference to the Netflix show canon, where he left Georgina Orwell under a bridge to drown.

His reaction being hidden is because, for obvious reasons, he doesn’t quite want to talk about murdered parents.

“Well, I’m Elliot,” Klaus said, “And this is my other head, Janus.”

Janus was a Roman god with two faces.

“And that down there,” Lilac said, pointing her thumb at Solitude, “Is our little pet gorgon. We call ‘er Euryale, cause her actual name is just a buncha hisses.”

Euryale was one of Medusa’s sisters in Greek Mythology.

Chapter Thirty - in which the Baudelaires put on a show

But as they started to leave, they heard a low rumble, and Nick immediately grabbed onto Klaus’s arm and let out a nervous gasp that was, thankfully, missed in the noise.

Nick recognizes the sound of Olaf’s car.

Chapter Thirty-One - in which the Baudelaires play fortune teller

“Or maybe,” Nick said, very quietly, keeping his eyes shut tight, “They were told not to find us.”

Nick learned a lot about VFD during his captivity, including their recruitment. He’s worried that their surviving parent may be ready to give them up to the organization.

Nick grabbed a selection of paper, staring curiously, and then he quickly tried to shove it back, but Klaus’s eyes widened as he caught a glimpse of it, and he grabbed it from his brother.

Nick, once again, sees the name “Snicket” and assumes the worst.

Chapter Thirty-Two - in which the Baudelaires are asked to murder

“No, thank you.” Esme said, looking down a Sunny and frowning. “I’m afraid I don’t like cinnamon in chocolate anymore, the woman who introduced it to me recently perished in a fire. But it’s very kind of you to offer.”

The Baudelaires received their taste for cinnamon in hot chocolate from their mother.

“Sounds good.” Kevin said. “I’ve committed crimes before. Why, when I was no older than Elliot and Janus-”

A reference to the theory that Kevin from ASOUE is the same as Kevin Old from File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents, who committed vandalism and thievery.

Chapter Thirty-Three - in which someone is pushed to the lions

“I’m sure you are.” Olaf smirked, and he reached forwards and put a cold hand on Nick’s cheek. Nick tried very hard not to cry, but he wasn’t succeeding very well. “Now go jump into that pit. We want to see you devoured by lions.”

Olaf, who knows that the freaks are the Baudelaires, specifically picked Klaus and Nick to sacrifice to the lions specifically to torment Nick more; he knows what effect he has on him, and is relishing it. Once the boys are gone, they can grab the rest of the Baudelaires and escape.

“I wish we had a cartographer with us.” Violet sighed.

A reference to the next book, where Violet will have a relationship with Quigley, a cartographer.

Chapter Thirty-Four / Epilogue - in which they should have said something

“Come on.” Bertrand said, taking Violet’s hands and spinning her as she giggled. “It’s Duke Ellington. That’s your fav, Li.”

A reference to All the Wrong Questions.

“What song is this?” Violet asked. Beatrice smiled over at Soli, who was curled up on Nick’s lap, biting his sweater. “It’s got a very special name, isn’t that right, dear?” Solitude giggled.

“Solitude”, by Duke Ellington, likely Ellington’s song in All the Wrong Questions.

“Dashiell if it’s a boy,” Bertrand replied, “Sunny if it’s a girl.”

“Dashiell” after Dashiell Qwerty from All the Wrong Questions.

“We could adopt one of the outdoors animals.” Nick suggested. Beatrice and Bertrand turned to look at him. “The what?” Bertrand asked. “I keep hearing animals outside my window, every now and again.” Nick shrugged. “Howling or yipping or sometimes breaking a branch. Maybe if we brought them into the house, they wouldn’t get in so much trouble.”

Recruitment attempts that have not been working, because Beatrice and Bertrand refuse to let their children join VFD.

She turned to a selection of beach photos, slowly pulling out a small picture of baby Lilac, sitting on Briny Beach. It hadn’t been the first time she’d seen the ocean, but she’d still been so excited to splash in the water.

Since Lilac was born eleven months before Violet, it’s likely she was born on the island.

#asoue #asoue netflix #asoue movie #a series of unfortunate events #six baudelaires au #six baudelaires bonus #six baudelaires official fic #six baudelaires reference guide #mine

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harryseyebrows · 6 years ago

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self promo fic meme

Rules: Post the first line of your last 10 published fics, then tag 10 people.

i was tagged by @tintedglasses and @ticklefightharry! thanks pals ♥

i have exactly eleven (11) fics, so uh. just barely made it here lmao

1. only you and you can hear me (jeff/harry)

“Faster,” Harry breathes, his fingers curling into the rumpled gray sheets on either side of his head.

2. il calore del sole (jeff/harry) co-written by @wishforwishes

“Harry, we don’t have to go. Alessandro would understand.”

3. here i am (stuck in the middle with you) (nick/harry)

Harry tried his first cigarette when he was sixteen and nearly coughed his lungs out for a whole twenty minutes. He tried one again when he was nineteen and drunk, after just having finished with his first ever client. He coughed then, too, and decided that smoking wasn’t for him. Still, for some inexplicable reason, as he leans against a damp brick wall and tries to be casual, his fingers are twitching like he needs a drag, even though it’s been six years since the last one.

4. you bring me home (nick/harry)

“Pix invited us out to dinner tonight,” Nick says.

Harry is at the stove, stirring some type of green mush that Nick is afraid to ask about. August is draped over one of his shoulders and sound asleep. He’s been fussy all day, at least when he’s not being held. Once someone picks him up, he’s happy as a clam. Otherwise, he’s like a wailing alley cat begging for attention. Harry is more than happy to oblige him, despite Nick’s warnings and reminders to let him learn to self-soothe. It’s an uphill battle, though.

5. back in the swing of things (jeff/harry)

Harry literally slides into the kitchen.

He’s wearing nothing but tall white socks and a big t-shirt that could pass as a dress, found somewhere in the depths of the master bedroom closet with an unknown origin.

6. hit me with your best shot (ben/harry)

“What do you say?”

Before Harry can respond, Ben spanks him again. He can feel the breath leave Harry’s lungs against his legs where he’s sprawled over him. The smack echoes loudly around the room. Harry’s skin is nearly purple, where just a few minutes ago Ben could still make out the outlines of his fingers and palm. Now there’s nearly a solid block of color in the center of Harry’s arse, warm to the touch.

7. take a seat (nick/harry)

“What if I hurt you?” Harry asks. His cheeks are pink.

“You’re not gonna hurt me. Now — ”

“Seriously, Nick. I’m — I’m heavy.”

8. im heavy on your love (nick/harry)

“Come cuddle me. ‘M sleepy,” Harry mumbles. He has the duvet nearly up to his ears and about fifty pillows surrounding his head. Nick will be lucky if he can get near him.

“Demanding,” Nick tsks, but does what Harry asks anyway.

9. afternoon delight (jeff/harry)

Jeff places a glass of water on the bedside table next to the baby monitor. Harry’s dozing on their bed with a sleeping Jude on his chest.

“Is he out?” Jeff asks.

“Cold,” Harry says, cracking his eyes open. “I don’t wanna move, though. I might wake him up.”

10. but in the morning light, your car’s already gone (series, zayn/harry, harry/louis)

part 1: Zayn shouldn't be surprised to see him; it's not like they don't still have mutual friends. But Zayn wasn't aware that he was even back yet, after scampering off after his ex-girlfriend called and wanted to get back together, there one day and gone the next.

part 2: Louis has a hand halfway to his mouth with a pretzel dipped in peanut butter when the sound of the buzzer makes him jump from his spot on the couch. He isn’t expecting anyone, unless someone has pressed the wrong button again, and he’ll have to politely remind them, No this is not Mr. Penderson, please fuck off and make sure you have the right number next time. Whoever this Penderson guy is, he’s very sought after, but Louis is sick of dealing with his confused visitors.

i’ll tag @wishforwishes and @this-onegoes ♥

#god do i love being lazy and just opening with dialogue or WHAT #my fic #also i hope that all of the links work and direct to the appropriate fic alskdjfalksjdf

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jlf23tumble · 6 years ago

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1D Day, Hour Two

The file I’m watching on YouTube is much shorter than an hour (44 minutes!!), but that’s because the poster kindly removed the “VT” (shudder) from random countries (it always boils down to [insert country’s name’s] fans wilding, and there’s only so much of that I can take).

Still, hour 2 is fucking ICONIC for many reasons, the biggest being Harry’s barely constrained rage. Yes, Louis’s “done with it all” demeanor on 1D Day is (justifiably) legendary, but Harry’s right there with him (twin flames, y’all). I can’t tell if he’s coked up, genuinely angry, or just passive-aggressively petty because someone told him he had to speak more quickly, much more loudly, and with some enthusiasm, for chrissakes. Oh, he delivers, all right, so much maniacal shouting. Deets under the cut.

Hour 2 is all Lirry, and I, for one, love Lirry, so it’s 44 minutes well spent. Liam tells us, “We’re kicking it off with VT from France, give it up for France!” (“FRANCAIS!” Harry yells), and after the missing bit of French VT, we’re back to Lirry, with Harry vacillating between murdering the French language (“Mercy boo coo to France”) and shouting “I ATE SNAILS” as his contribution to what they did in France last time they were there (Liam played football with some guys near the Eiffel Tower, fwiw).

The first guest is Dynamo (or, “DYNAMO, EVERYBODY” if you’re Harry), and he’s here for card tricks and more (“OH, SNAP” is Harry’s response to Dynamo nearly twisting his own finger off, and god, it’s horrifying). Harry’s fairly manic through the entirety of the card tricks, but I love Liam because he’s me in every card trick (“I’m glad mine’s easy to remember because I’d probably forget,” which is true of any card you take, like, ever???):

“WHO LOVES MAGIC!” Harry shouts, and there’s a needlessly complicated special interactive trick that gets introduced here, with Dynamo saying that he wrote a prediction on a piece of paper and sealed it in a box at the beginning of the day, so he needs to Harry to keep the key safe. Points if you correctly assumed that Harry will stuff that key right in next to his dick as a joke.

Because nobody rehearsed or prepared for this epic full-day live event, there are all kinds of problems with the cameras, and if you want a fun drinking game to get you hammered within 45 minutes, take a shot every time you see a variation of this (Liam looking vaguely concerned while Harry aggressively points at the sky or the camera while shouting):

A horrifically bad segment that’s a poorly disguised advert for Google Hangouts (lmaoaoaoaooaoaoa) kicks off questions from all over the world (the audio is bad, none of the visuals syncs), but we get some iconic answers to deeply important questions, like, “If you were in the Hunger Games, who would survive the longest?” Liam says he’d hide and then kill passersby (yikes), and Harry says he’s more of a lover than a fighter, so he’d hide in a tree until it all blew over. Liam: “Oh, yeah, you’re definitely more of a lover.” Harry: “Easy there, Piers Morgan.”

The next question is from a group of girls wearing Christmas sweaters, which annoys Harry because “it’s a whole month and two days early,” but I think his issues are bigger than jumping the gun on holidays (and honestly, the UK doesn’t have the twin buffers of T’day and H’ween, so you KNOW this is just part of his general rage). Anyway, they want to know what other careers these two would be involved with, sans the D, and because they’re five, Liam says spaceman and Harry says baker.

After a series of horrible glitches, the next question is about which superhero they’d be, and me as Harry, blowing a giant raspberry as he ponders this important question with the level of exhaustion he surely must feel, three years into this band/interview technique. Liam can read the room, so he picks this one up and says he’d be Kung-Fu Panda, which makes it easy for Harry to say Hong Kong Fuey (!!!) or Top Cat.

With that mess done, it’s time to “ROLL THE VT!” (according to Harry) for Switzerland, and because the producers here are nothing if not cliché lovers, that means tiny cowbells for Harry to play with when we come back. He quickly tires of this, throws the cowbells off stage, yells “WE NEED A CAMERA,” and walks straight into the call box with the overwhelmed girls from hour 1. These girls are still weeping, but Harry says, “Thank you for listening to the album, you’re getting kicked out, sorry,” in the flattest voice possible, so good cop Liam hurries over to ask the weeping girls which song they liked and usher in two new people.

“Happily” is debuted, but we don’t get to see it, boo, but we do get ushered over to a theater with some contest winners. Or as Harry says, “We’re here backstage to meet some fans who have won a chance to be here…SHUT UP…in our VIP cinema,” and then, “You’re crying…is that because I told you to shut up? I didn’t mean it.” Liam is there again to save the day, but there are lots of sound problems, so it’s hard to tell what’s happening, tbh.

Anyway, these fans get to ask some iconic questions, such as, “What would we find in your fridge?” which gives us this classic from Harry: “I DON’T LIVE ANYWHERE, SO NO FOOD,” as the audience says, “awwwwww” in the background.

There’s a question from a lady on the screen, saying that she’s in front of the X Factor studios, and she wants to know what they would change their audition song to, if they could go back in time, and because Harry’s well aware of his various stalkers, he says, “I saw her the other day at the X Factor studios, 100 percent” (fwiw, Harry would do “Wrecking Ball” with props, and Liam would do “Mirrors”).

The last question is what they would change if they could go back in time, and Liam says probably his older haircuts, and Harry says that one day in April (and he mentions April again later in the hour, so someone investigate), he had a dodgy breakfast burrito, so he’d probably change that (he also had a dodgy batch of prawns one time, too, but that’s a different story, and god, he’s an underrated comedian). The sound is for shit, but Liam doubts this, prompting Harry to scream, “DON’T JUDGE ME, LIAM, I’M TRYING MY BEST,” and whyyyyyy is he so on fire (and why do I love it so much):

We get back to the studio with an inexplicably breathless Scott Mills (he says he ran…but from where, lmao) and do another spin to figure out who the official 1D account (????) will follow on twitter. Harry starts cheating before people start yelling at him to stop, which is a shame, really, just follow all of these poor bastards, honestly!

We don’t get to see the VT from Germany, but we do get to see Lirry bickering about camera problems and stolen lines, plus an exhaustive rundown of all the thrilling things to come, and I’m so thankful to the person who made this moment a Dua Lipa meme all those months ago:

One of my favorite segments has a really awkward setup, but tl/dr/dw, Harry brags, “I’m a bit of a chef myself, and if I’m honest, Liam, I’m pretty damned good at it,” so we get a “ROLL VT!” and an aggressive finger point, both from Harry, and a silly but charming cook off with the tour chef, who seems like a lovely lady (p.s. look at how glorious his hair was under all those tablecloths…also, he’s chewing gum in a gross way, but this whole bit is worth watching in full):

The cook off is genuinely funny and results in a beautiful pavlova from Sarah and a basic sandwich (with pickle and paprika) from Harry, judged by Mark Jarvis, Gemma Styles, and Lou Teasdale, all of whom Harry bribes. I’m more fascinated with this ring, and my head canon has it either saying ILY or JEN (both of which make me smile):

With that bit over, we move on to more rapping of random tweets, and it’s embarrassing, so I won’t get into that. But the VT of Liam surfing is something special, not only because he looks so obviously happy while he’s doing it, but also because he says some very profound things in the interview around it: “I get followed a lot, so it’s quite nice to get out in the sea where nobody can follow you […] it’s so nice and peaceful […] it doesn’t matter what you look like, you can just have a good time, it’s a bit of an escape,” and ouchhhhhh, that’s some real talk.

We head back to the studio for a fashion segment with Louise someone; a handful of lucky fans in Sweden won a t-shirt design contest, and Lirry are gonna do some modeling. Louise is happy that Harry knows where Sweden is (Harry: “I got a B in geography…might have been a C, can’t remember”), and some poor shlub working on this trainwreck in the shadow gets dragged out on camera because he’s wearing green jeans, but he’s not there for long (Harry: “GET OUT” *shove*). Louise describes the fashion show to come, and Harry says that he’s quite good at walking in straight lines, but Liam reminds him that he tends to fall over a lot on stage and that the tiny catwalk is actually pretty shiny (god bless Liam for being so responsible).

Luckily for all of us, professional model Cindy Crawford is there to help with some tips (she’s introduced as “IT’S ONLY BLOODY CINDY CRAWFORD” by Harry, and I die with Cindy’s “Hello, boys,” and Harry’s “Hello, Mrs. Crawford”…followed swiftly by Cindy’s, “Please don’t call me Mrs. Crawford”). There’s some sexi modeling, and even though he only wears two shirts to Harry’s three (*and* Harry gets down on the ground to pose), Liam wins, according to the Swedes. He requests a model off with Cindy as his prize, and he’s surprisingly good?

The last segment is with Dynamo, the magic man, and for some reason, Harry’s weirdly agro about his own shirt mic, like, unnecessarily so, ripping it off to speak with Dynamo before gently putting it back where it belongs. Maybe he’s just frustrated about how they have to use Google+ (lololololol) for a totally convoluted imaginary concert that ultimately doesn’t work (me as him, tbh).

While Liam does tech support live on air (!!), Harry asks Dynamo to do some card tricks to stall for time after literally nobody says a word when he monotones, “We’re having a technical difficulty…does anybody know any jokes.” Harry pulls a card as directed, but then, for seemingly no reason, he suddenly starts yelling, “THIS ISN’T WORKING, SHALL WE SEE SOME HIGHLIGHTS? HIGHLIGHTS!!! ROLL HIGHLIGHTS [aggressive pointing]!!” and the highlights are truly awful, and I hope he’s enjoying his smoke break for hour 3, jfc.

#recap #1d day #hour 2 #he is NOT HAVING IT

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