#he may be old but he is still slaying af

[nrdmssgs]

Child Game

Riot belongs to @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot Zhar is my girl from A heart full of pity

Masterlist (with more Riot stuff) This is an AU, I guess, because Riot actually didn't have DnD amongst her other hobbies in original story. This happens in the future, long after Darker matters and ongoing series about Riot.

A.N. This is a one shot about great friends. Good friends comfort you. Great friends help you deal with some demons. Thank you for letting me be ugly and angry and sad and disappointed and still being out there. Warning: this is the most inaccurate description of DnD, because I never played it.

"C`mon, didn't you have fun back in Tul- ehm, Tulski ob-" Riot stumbled once again, trying to pronounce the name of the place where Olga was born and raised.

"It's just Tula, love. The city of sweets and guns*. And of course we had many different games. Like 'Zarnitza' or 'the sheet lightning', where 20-40 kids in 2 teams practically imitate an infiltration operation and fight for a flag. But without guns, and with a little less blood spilled." As Zhar walks, she unfastens and takes off her helmet. A shock of hair immediately falls on her face, and she doesn’t have time to see Christine’s face. However, she is quite sure, she scared or grossed her friend out.

But she has yet much to learn about Riot. Because in a few seconds, Olga hears her enthusiastic voice.

"My fucking god, how lucky you are. The most fun thing, I got to do with my friends was playing DnD! Not that I'm complaining, it was fun and everything..." Christine goes silent, noticing, how drastically Olgas face changed after her last words.

"You've been playing DnD?" Zhar asks with a tone of someone, who has just overheard, Riot was eating lobsters on a daily basis back in her teenage years.

Although at first Christine doesn't understand her friend's excitement about that - she very soon learns, Zhar always dreamed of trying to play DnD, but never had a chance.

"I mean, with Nikolai, every day turns into a little campaign with a teammate, who always rolls persuasion to 20, even when you don't need that. But I kinda sometimes wish, there was a dragon to slay..." Zhar murmurs, almost just to herself, as they both reach the base barracks and head into a store department, to hand over their weapons.

It never actually escapes Christine. This enigma coming from another world, raised on unkind children games, is actually dreaming of sharing some quiet cozy moments. That fascinates Riot, so she proceeds with a proposal.

"How about a game?"

Olga freezes for a moment, smiles to her thoughts, and continues getting out of her gear.

"Love, I've grown too old for that. Seen so much drama, I don't believe, a round of DnD could awaken anything in me now." Zhar hopes to sweep the topic under the carpet. But once Christine got an idea - she doesn't let it go so easily.

"Drama, you say? Be careful what you wish for, Lieutenant, you may receive it." When Riot wanted it - she could say anything in a plain tone, that given none of her intentions or emotions. But right now her voice is full of playful menace and mischief.

***

Zhar didn't believe, it was possible in the first place. Yet here they sat with Riot, Soap, Gaz and even Ghost around the desk. Two and a half hours of a game session, that started with so many laughs, Olga teared up multiple times. At first Ghost was hesitant to join, but when Kyle said 'wait guys, I think, I have a plan, dumb af, but it's gonna be hilarious' and Johnny and Olga grinned in approval for the third time in a row, Simon lost his last remains of patience.

"I know, I missed the opportunity to start together with them, but may I please save these three miserable fiddleheads?" He towers over Riot as she silently passes a character list, she filled specifically for Ghost, knowing for sure, he will join sooner or later. And so the party is formed.

Two and a half hours of laughs, surprises, fictional brawls, heroism and recklessness.

The first one, they lose in the final fight, is Johnny's character. As a Dungeon Master, Christine sees, the guy had it coming as he was too concentrated on keeping his familiar safe and forgot about the team. But she does not advertise her observations, keeping them until the end of the game so as not to spoil the moment.

Then it's Kyle's character turn. And he meets the same fate. Riot tries to not describe death of his character too colorful, but she still notices, how Zhar clutches a pen in her hands until her knuckles turn white.

Well, someone wanted drama.

"Simon, turn and run, now! Out of all of us only you did something actually useful for the party. Let's save at least your character! I can hold that thing for some time." Olga points to the stapler, that Christine used to portray the final boss.

"With a holy prayer, that doesn't do shit or with one of many bottles of rum, you stashed?" Ghost smirks.

Zhar tries many things, to save her last party member in game: from persuasion to intimidation and brute force. But Simon looks Christine in the eyes and says three words quietly.

Bring. It. On.

As Riot helps them picture the last minutes of Ghosts character, Olga hides face behind her character sheet. One doesn't need many details to imagine someone's death, when they have military background.

"So, that's it? I guess, next turn of the monster would be to end my cleric? I think, I'm supposed to pray then for the sake of roleplay." Zhar pats Ghosts shoulder apologetically.

Christine doesn't interrupt, letting Zhar come up with some kind of speech imitating a prayer. Only when Gaz stands from his place and hugs Olga from behind, helping her to calm down and collect herself, Riot makes a remark, that they are not yet done.

"The creature hears your prayer and freezes. It hates every word, you drop, yet it can't ignore you. You see, many hundreds of years ago, this creature was sworn to protect one of the temples dedicated to the deity you just prayed to. However, a terrible war razed that temple to the ground. Since then, the creature has made a new oath: it will give a precious artifact, gifted to it by the creator, to the first cleric it meets."

Christine takes an apple out of the bag, she brought with her, and places it on the desk before Zhar.

"This artifact, 'the fruit of eternity' was made to bring one soul to new life. Among its many known and even more yet undiscovered traits one may interest you especially, my godly friend..."

"Wait, you don't..." Olga starts suspecting something, but Christine goes on.

"When fed to a recently fallen being, it can bring them back to life. However, the fruit of infinity cannot be divided into parts. You either eat it completely or don’t touch it at all. This is, of course, unless you decide to refuse the gift and accept death from the claws of the creature bending over you."

A tense silence hangs in the room. The others look at Zhar, and she keeps her eyes fixed on the apple.

“But I... I can’t choose just one, knowing that the others won’t come back.” She smiles, yet her voice is barely audible.

Gaz feels, It's not about not being able to play like that again - they were already told, they can always come up with new characters. It's more about Lieutenant nature kicking in: protect your people at all costs, or die trying. And Olga can play an alcoholic cleric for forever, but at the end of the day - Lt is her very core.

"C`mon, its obvious: give it to Ghosts knight and you two will maybe manage to escape. Great game, good old Lts are free to-"

"Are you fucking kidding me? I`m not going back there, you better give it to Soap or his... how is it called, again?" Simon cuts Kyle out, but speaks friendly and sounds relaxed.

Apparently, Soap too has his thoughts on this topic, which he hastens to share. And now three men are arguing loudly, not paying attention to the girls.

"Many undiscovered traits, you say? And what exactly happens, when someone, who is yet alive, eats it?" It seems like a few years by Nikolai's side, taught Zhar to bargain at every opportunity.

Christine hooks her fingers at the top edge of the mask and lowers it, flashing a predatory smile for a moment. "New life. New benefits. New skills. New... perspective on the whole world."

Olga looks up at the men, still arguing. "They are so skilled, so clever, you know? Even in this game they actually did something, they fought, while my character just... drank excessively and cast a pair of blessings. And they all have hearts of gold. I don't think, I'll ever be able to become as good as them."

Christine just watches her, enjoying every second of guys coming to some arrangements and Olga clearly formulating some plan.

"Well, if my cleric can never become as good as them..." Zhar takes an Apple and brings it to her lips. "She`ll become so much worse."

[blackbutlerbitch23]

💖Now that I have some followers who cannot escape my feed and are forced to listen to me, I will rank my top 5 ships from Black Bulter from Worst to Best and explain why I placed them there. BTW my opinion is 100% correct, AND no, I do not take criticism. Buckle up your seat belts because this will be a long ride, and no, we're not gonna stop; you should have gone to the bathroom before we left. Now sit back, relax and HAVE FUN, EVERYONE!!!! 💖

5. Vincent & Madam Red

Aesthetically this couple is fantastic. Betrayal, drama, jealousy, and forbidden love. There's a reason why blue and red are often paired together. PRIME COLOURS, BABY. That's what the kids call colour theory 😎. ANWAY, this is the Angelica Schuyler (work, work) and Alexander Hamilton (lol, you defiantly threw away your shot) ship of the Black Butler community. Even the name Angelina looks and sounds similar to Angelica. They are a bisexual dream of "may I have a side of step on me" 👞👡. They would have been that couple. Yet, I gotta rate them at number five because even though they would be slaying it together (literally and figuratively *very clever jack the ripper and watchdog joke*🔪), it does reduce the intelligent and independent Madam Red into an "uwu notice me sempai" girl. She gets turned from girl boss (affectionate) into girl boss (unaffectionate). Like GURL, I know he is bad, but you are a Miranda in a world full of Nates. The Devil wears Prada because he has taste👠. He's not worth trying to stab an eye-patched child over.

7/10 - if I was Angelina, I would have poured red wine over Rachel's wedding dress because I'm petty like that👰🍷.

4. Mey-Rin & Ronald Knox

I KNOW WHAT YOU ALL ARE THINKING🧠. That's right, I'm telepathic AF. Call me Anya 2.0. "Didn't they only interact once?" Yes, and your point? I could sense the chemistry and potential oozing like a warhead from that singular interaction. When Mey-Rin said that was the first time she ever got hit on, I was shocked and appalled because that girl is a hot warrior queen 👑like some Victorian Hippolyta. If I was shot by Mey-Rin, I would thank her because that meant she noticed little ol' me. Ronald (lol nerd) may *technically* be a dead sociopathic playboy, but underneath all that, he is also a clumsy idiot with some pretty snazzy fighting skills like a certain maid ;)). They both rock the sexy geeky🤓 look, AND Mey-Rin deserves to be swept away by a man who understands the struggle of trying to impress your superior (and failing horribly) while cleaning out blood stains🩸. They are number four because I vaguely get some The Mister by E.L James vibes, which makes me break out in a cold sweat 😷🤢if I think about it for too long. Plus, they did only interact once. God, imagine having Grell as a mother-in-law.

7.5/10 - Call me captain because Imma go down with the ship like the Campania that brought these virgins together⚓.

3. Ciel & Sieglinde

Bubala, I want to get this out of the way before we proceed. I'm no Humbert Humbert. Miss me with that ❌Lolita❌ shit (although it's a fantastic book, shout out to my lad Nabokov). When I ship kids, it's in an "it would be cute in the future" way. I don't expect a thirteen-year-old and ten-year-old actually to date. Kapeesh? Anyway, this is also not a reflection of Elizabeth as a character. We can all agree that their relationship was doomed the minute Lizzy discovered that OCiel wasn't RCiel and proceeded to have one of the worst reactions possible™. She tried to kill Sebastian, ran away from home, and let a TEENAGER get arrested because she got Parent Trapped. Girl, you even knew he was innocent but go off sis🙄💅. You know, ✨everyday rich girl things✨. Sieglinde, our little green witch, adores Ciel for who is truly is, not the broken-down actor carrying around his brother's ghost. Our scientist saw OCeil at his lowest point and still came to respect him. She also was tricked by him but didn't try to get him arrested, so...🙄💅. I'm more of an On the grind 💪 appreciator than a girl boss, manipulate gaslight type. Gotta love a spider leg, girl.

Unlike Elizabeth, who has dealt with tragedy from a distance (and don't get me wrong, she hasn't had an easy ride. It's just more psychological/self-inflicted), Ciel and Sieglinde, these two pipsqueaks have been through hell and back but came out stronger. In short, they can relate to each other's pain more than others their age. Plus, she's super adorable and a genius who can keep up (and outsmart) Ciel and is unafraid to be herself. They might not win in a leg race, but they will destroy you on a chessboard♟️. The best girl in town deserves the worst boy in London 😈.

8/10- Don't witches 🧙‍♀️ love the devil or whatever? Hocus Pocus girl and contract boy can fangirl over the same demon together. Fandom goals

2. Diedrich & Vincent

Ah, Hello again, Vincent. You have shown up on this list more than the actual Manga. Anyway, WHEN I SAW THE PANEL, THE ONE WITH "THE DAYS SPENT WITH YOU ARE BURNED INTO A MEMORY," I WANTED TO CRY. OMFG. I LOVE IT SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖. They look so sweet together there🥺. I'm a bitch for dark English academia shit because I am basic AF. Like, don't come at me. I know dark academia has a somewhat problematic history, but Imma keep shoving it down my throat like how Diedrich shoves down those sandwiches😏. The relationship between Vincent and Diedrich is so angsty that I need some rain boots because it's pouring tears out here. Even years after Vincent dies, Diedrich remains loyal to him and tries to save his child (in his "I hate you but I serectly love you" way).

Now I can hear you exclaim, "well, Vincent basically enslaved German boy as his brother-servent thing," but let me tell you, if he wanted out, he could have just stayed in Germany, but that Guten Tag man kept visiting that fine British ass until the day that fine Britsh ass was burnt to a crisp. Vincent was hot until the day he died🔥. Diedrich even keeps a picture of their time together and thinks of it fondly, despite Vicent treating him like a lapdog. THIS MAN DIDN'T EVEN GET MARRIED!!!! WAS IT BECAUSE HE WAS TOO BUSY WITH VINCENT🤔🤔🤔???? Probably not, but for my sake, I will say yes. If Lana Del Ray's music was a couple, it would be this one. They are at number two because as much I love them, there is one ship I adore a bit more. Plus, Vincent has so many side pieces that I don't trust him to stay in a monogamous relationship.

8.5/10 - I wish I knew WHY Vincent chose Rachel over these icons. Like girl, we have no beef, but I need to understand how you collared Vincent🐕‍🦺.

1. Sebastian & Agni

HAHAHA, YOU MUST OF ALL KNOWN MY (DE)MAN WOULD HAVE TO BE A PART OF MY NUMBER ONE PAIR!!!! Oooooh, the scene where Sebastian said that Agni was the first person to ever call him a friend👌👌👌. Sebastian's first friend. Think about that. The AMOUNT OF ADMIRATION they had for one another. This is Sebastian "lol, humans are bugs I like to burn with my magnifying glass" Michaelis, who respects nothing but himself (and cats). Yet, he believed Agni to be an "exemplary butler" who lived up to his ~asethics~ and Agni, the literal right hand of Kali, reached out (no pun instead) to a DEMON and saw something worth appreciating. 

Sebastian even listened to his advice over Ciel's. His master and meal ticket. The guy he signed the bloody contract with. That's like if your lawyer turned to the opposition and said, "they make a fair point, and I agree my client is in the wrong." Like WHAT???? Seb values Agni's advice. A human. In Yana's own words, a species he views as nothing more than a cluster of pests. At best, they're amusing, like how a kid keeps an ant farm. Yet, Agni is different. Here the grasshopper has become the master🙇.

Their potential stepdad AUs were just up my ally. FOUND FAMILY ADMIRES UNITE! But I gotta admit, as much I love Soma, I would give him up for adoption if he was my kid. I can't deal with that level of extra. At the very least, he would go to theatre camp for the entire summer and boarding school, as is tradition for most rich British families. See, I'm not totally heartless😘! Talking about heartlessness, don't even get me started on Agni's death scene because I will ugly cry. When Sebastian dirtied himself with Agni's blood, even tho we all know that prissy bitch is more protective over his clothes than a runway model😔✊. That was the most upset we had ever seen him (outside of almost losing his son Ciel), and he seemed at least happy Agni died in peace. I doubt Sebastian can genuinely mourn, but now at least, he has double reason to hate Undertaker. 

In Conclusion, I just think they are neat.

9.5/10- YASS KING, WHISPER YOUR DEMON SHIT WHILE HE PRAYS TO KALI!!! However, I can't give this a perfect score because one half is dead, and I do not support necrophilia💀. I hope we get Ciel and Sebastian explaining to Soma that they did not kill his daddy and, in fact, were planning a family vacay🏖️. I swear to god, if they have Soma work with RCiel, Imma flip my lid like a fucking kettle. Overall, they would have been couple goals💏.

[engagedlesbiansblog]

Hey may I get a matchup for hazbin hotel/helluva boss?

I’m a 23 year old queer, autistic, indigenous, two spirit who prefers males and goes by they/them and xe/xem pronouns.

I’m 5 ‘7 ft, have brown eyes, wavy brown hair, and tan skin. My face is heart shaped with acorn shaped eyes, a curvy, hourglass figure with stretch marks on my chest, hips, and belly from growth spurts/weight gain (I fondly call them my ‘lightning strikes’).

I like:

Drawing

Swimming

Sewing

The Colours Magenta, Yellow, and Cyan

Writing

Playing Video games

Cats

Robots/Aliens/Monsters

Video Essays

Baking

Dancing

I love:

READING!!! Omigosh I love to read! I can demolish a book in a week, I just love language arts.

LEARNING!!!!1!! I’m always on the lookout for new knowledge and experiences to apply in my daily life

I’m an aspiring illustrator/graphic designer/comic creator.

Personalitywise: I’m adept, intelligent, thoughtful, imaginative, creative, compassionate, and intuitive, though a little blunt and dopey.

I’m schizoaffective but have found the right cocktail of meds that allow me to function and have a good quality of life. That being said I’m not keen of being taken advantage of or manipulated and will end that shit real quick. I’m a tough cookie with a sharp tongue and I won’t hesitate to slay a bitch if need be.

I’m really attentive and warm with my friends, always finding ways to make them laugh without meaning to (I’m told it’s endearing), and encourage conversation and fun.

I’m always excited to infodump my latest hyperfixation and just as eagerly listen to others do the same. I show them all my self inserts, OCs, and writing.

With my partners (platonic, alterous, and otherwise), communication and quality time is everything! I love giving them little gifts and plan fun things to do together.

I’m also a sucker for interesting conversation.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I can’t wait to see my matchup🌈🐞

Hazbin Hotel:

Idk why but I get the feeling you would love Angel Dust. He's a fucking Chaotic ass motherfucker. Like for real 😂

Imagine this:

Y'all met by accident. You minding your own business, him not so much. Him butting into your conversation and your just like "uh excuse you mind your business"

That's how it started. You end up seeing him everywhere from then on. You didn't even know who he was till you started seeing him on the 666 news, posters, magazines etc. And then you bump into him again. Still as nosey as before.

-----

Angel: "hey aren't ya the person I ran into the other day?"

You: "No I'm the Genie from Aladdin and I'm here to grant you 3 wishes"

Angel: "Was that sarcasm?"

You: 'dumb, dumb as hell'

-------

Now how your relationship started off as was like a an enemies to lovers kind of thing. He annoyed you, you annoyed him. And the sarcasm turned to talking which turned to flirting. Enemies, to friends, to lovers kind of deal.

Helluva Boss:

Kind of the same with Angel Dust both Chaotic af.

Y'all met through Loona (I canon that y'all would be the best of friends that are like siblings. Love hate sibling rivalry.) She brought you to Imp to show you where she works and that's how Blitzo met you. Y'all (just like Angel) didn't like each other at all when you first met. The moment you walk into Imp to visit Loona you saw Blitzo and was like

Blitzo was just so confused.

-------

Blitzo: "oh did you miss us?"

You: "no."

Blitzo: "rude"

You:

-------

Honestly I can see this from being enemies to fuck buddies to lovers. One day you were insulting and being mean to each other, next y'all were making out then boom lovers.

-----

Loona: "oh God my best friend is now my parent"

Blitzo: "seems that way huh?"

You: "your right I am your parent now"

Loona:

[missmitchieg]

Julie And The Phantoms: A (Unhelpful) Guide For The Newbies - Part 2

Nick Danforth-Evans:

- Played by: Sacha Carlson

- Julie's friend

- Guitar Boy #2

- Bisexual

- Adopted child of Chad and Ryan Danforth-Evans

- Can. Not. Dance. but it's fine

- Stans Julie And The Phantoms

- Julie used to have a crush on him

- Now he has a crush on her

- Also has a crush on that curly blond boy on the lacrosse team

- Dated a lesbian once, oops

- ✨ Vibes ✨ with her music, though

- Literally everyone likes him

- A respectful King

- Some shit goes down with him in the finale, it wild

Carrie Wilson:

- Played by: Savannah Lee May

- Nicknames: Pink, Demon

- Julie and Flynn's ex friend/'bully'

- Still refers to Julie as 'one of her oldest friends', though

- Her mom is seemingly not around, unclear if divorced or dead

- Lead singer of her group, Dirty Candy

- Is the lesbian Nick dated

- Barbie Girl in a Barbie World

- Could use a hug

- Is in love with Flynn and kinda mad about it

- It's mutual, but neither of them know

- They haven't discussed it

- Stans Julie And The Phantoms

- Compliments Julie

- Is just there at every Julie And The Phantoms performance

- Fashion icon

- HER SOUL IS MADE OF PINK GLITTER

- Her vocals slay tbh

- Baby girl can dance

- Makes everyone say wow

- Saturn necklace

- Always looks good

Bobby Shaw/Trevor Wilson:

- Played by: Taylor Kare (Teen) & Steve Bacic (Adult)

- Former Rhythm guitarist of Sunset Curve

- Current solo artist

- Carrie's dad

- Pretty cool fashion sense

- Lion Necklace

- Is in therapy and meditates

- Needs a nap tbh

- Has a giant thing with his face on it on the wall

- Helicopter with his face on it

- SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG

- Red, black and white like Reggie

- Liked to jam with Reggie

- Also flirted with Rose

- However was lowkey jealous of Rose when Reggie was flirting with her

- They never discussed it

- Stole Sunset Curve's music to kickstart his career

- Not on Luke's song writing level, but it's fine

Mitch Patterson:

- Played by: Michael Ryan

- Luke's dad

- Seems like a Christian

- Unclear if unsupportive or indifferent to Luke being in a band

- Reads

- Plaid

- I feel like he watches old black and white shows

Emily Patterson:

- Played by: Jennifer-Juniper Angeli

- Luke's mom

- Sweet lady

- Watches I Love Lucy re-runs

- Bakes cake for Luke's birthday

- Knits

- Definitely Christian

- Loudly unsupportive of Luke being in a band

Mrs. Harrison:

- Played by: Marci T. House

- Julie's music teacher

- Prays for Julie

- Stans Aretha Franklin and Etta James

- Fashion icon

- Nice lady

- Deserves a cookie for being cool

- Has a corgi named Stuart

- Probably wlw

Willie:

- Played by: Booboo Stewart

- Handsome Ghost Boy #4

- Alex's boyfriend/Soulmate

- Gay Sk8er Boi

- *Seductive hair flip*

- Touch starved

- Would stab in retaliation

- Was that kid that takes in strays and nurses them back to health

- An Angel

- Crop tops & cute socks

- Had a shark phase

- Good vibes all around

- Has done nothing wrong ever in his life or afterlife

- Be Gay Do Crimes*

- ACAB

- Used to have an orange lava lamp

- *Confessed to breaking and entering, grand theft auto, kidnapping, and obstruction of justice

- Screams in museums

- Literally crashes into Alex and proceeds to flirt with him

- Falls in love immediately

- Not subtle about that love at all

- Would do anything for Alex

- Good Boy

Caleb Covington:

- Played by: Cheyenne Jackson

- Gay AF

- Evil ghost magician

- Fabulous

- Literal Actual Demon

- Puts on a good show

- Lowkey a cult leader ngl

- Sparkly

- Dramatic AF

- Would stab as a warning

- Terrifying

- Conscience? Is That a spice?

- W O R L D D O M I N A T I O N

- Master manipulator

- Pipes McGee

- Creepy AF

- Would enslave teenage boys for his own benefit

- Would also kill teenage boys for not joining his cult

- Is a little bitch

- Deserves to be sucker punched

[enter-the-phantom]

2 and 12 for any s/I you like!

How did this get lost!! Oh my gods!!

look bestie you know my Supernatural s/i is my everything and has all of my heart so here we go

2. When in canon does your self-insert come in? Do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

Oh babe I have a whole damn episode for my entrance.

Abby makes their first appearance in either season 1 or 2, after the brothers and basic plot has been established. Sam and Dean are still searching for their father, who is on the trail of the Yellow-Eyed Demon. They take a case in a small rural Texas town where newborns and their mothers are suddenly dying under suspicious circumstances. Dean is also on the lookout for a hunter known as the Demon’s Bane or the Godslayer, said to be an expert in occult and religious matters. He believes this hunter may be able to find the demon who killed their mother, and therefore find their father.

Sam and Dean run into a strange person in a bar with a big hat who tells them that there’s no such thing as a grizzled old hunter running around killing gods and basically calls them an idiot. Dean writes them off as some whacko kid and continues the hunt, believing it to be a vengeful ghost. The boys track the phenomenon to the middle of a forest, where they come face to face with something all their ghost-slaying weapons can’t touch. Just as the brothers are looking cornered—“What kind of ghost doesn’t respond to salt rounds!?”—a tiny hunter with that same stupid hat throws themself in between the brothers and the monster, announces “It’s not a ghost. It’s a god.”…and you’ll have to read my upcoming fic for the rest bc it’s a FANTASTIC FAN EPISODE

12. How would the fandom view your character?

Well obviously me and Cas are the ship because why wouldn’t we be? But I also think there’s a lot of fan theories and speculation. It’s an ongoing trope that my past is very mysterious and never fully explained, but there are a lot of hints dropped that point toward some sort of severe religious trauma. I have an entire “solo” episode dedicated to a hunt I undertake on my own, in which I infiltrate a charismatic Christian offshoot cult who is under the influence of a demonic leader, and there’s a lot of clues there. I think my character is a hotbed for strong opinions but is absolutely a beloved fan favorite for the simple reason that they’re interesting af.

…also because of the ship war between the Gabby shippers and the Abstiel diehards

[otonymous]

Lemme See You Sweat: The Boys’ Favourite Ways to Train (MLQC Headcanon)

In honour of my recent obsession with the Peloton app (and no, this is not a sponsored post LOL), I thought this would be an apt time to explore a question of tremendous importance: how do the boys of Mr Love: Queen’s Choice keep their hot bods continually smokin’? 🔥

Keep reading to find out!

Warnings: explicit/graphic language - reader discretion is advised.

💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

Victor:

Y’all already know this man is dedicated to his health: he preps his own food and hits the sack early so he can wake up at the ass-crack of dawn to pound the pavement on his morning jogs

Loves to remind you that not getting enough sleep leads to inflammation and premature aging in addition to giant eye bags in various shades of plum

Remember his Breathless karma? Yes. That one.

Victor has clearly established his prowess in the pool. Don’t mess with him and the drops of chlorinated water running down his insanely defined pecs or he’ll Michael Phelps you the f*ck outta there

The LFG CEO mixes his bouts of cardio with a weight-training regimen (try not to salivate too much when those dri-fit shorts slide up to reveal the muscular definition of his thighs and ass during those squats)

The best part of working out with Victor (besides the fact that you have full access to his private facilities)? Heating things up even further together in the sauna afterwards for an extended workout session 😉

Lucien:

Listen, this man is busy being a genius and has very little time for anything else

So you best believe the professor makes every second count by engaging in that High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT). TABATA, HERE HE COMES!

Just watching him go all out on those Burpees, Mountain Climbers, Jump Squats, Lateral Slides, Lunges and Push-ups is making you work up a sweat (though you’re just watching him from the sidelines sipping on your bubble tea)

…and yet, he makes it all seem so easy

Don’t let Lord Luci fool you: beneath that shapeless lab coat, sleek, powerful muscles lie in wait. The man is agile and strong AF — you’ll feel like you’ve caught sight of a panther in the wild, all the muscles of his body tensing with each powerful burst of movement

When he’s not slaying those HIIT work-outs, Lucien enjoys hitting up the archery range, incinerating the panties (and a few pairs of boxer briefs) of anyone who happens to lay eyes on him. Case in point:

(Hammer Lucien don't hurt 'em! LOL)

Gavin:

You don’t need me to tell you that Gavin goes full out beast mode and trains 24/7.

As a Special Task Force agent, the man’s life (and those around him) is literally dependent on the fitness of his body, so when it comes to working out, Birdcop ain’t messing around

Think of every movie training montage you’ve ever seen: Ninja Assassin, Rocky, that scene of Ben Affleck in Batman v Superman, etc. Yup, that’s just a normal day for Gavin

Let’s not forget that hand-to-hand combat. Gavin is especially proficient at boxing, Muay Thai and Taekwondo (Momma said knock you out!!)

Boy’s got that suspension trainer set up at home so he can fit in those last minute sessions before his missions

Little known fact: Gavin was a b-boy back in the day and still breaks with his old crew every now and then. His signature move: The Windmill (how fitting LOL)

Kiro:

As a celebrity, Kiro has to adhere to a very strict diet and exercise regimen (Savin has his hands full with this)

On top of his usual cardio and weight-training sessions, Kiro has hours upon hours of dance rehearsals (that hardcore Kpop-esque choreography ain’t no joke)

In reality though, parkour and freerunning is this man’s jam — he’s got the strength, agility, flexibility and grace to make it all look so fluid and easy

Kiro also loves a good barre workout. Nothing gets his thighs shaking quite like working individual muscles to the point of exhaustion

In all honesty, this man works hard for his lean, muscular bod. He deserves a damn bag of chips every now and then. 80/20 rule man.

Shaw:

Blessed with youth, Shaw’s naturally fast metabolism helps him keep that lean physique (ahem, do you see all the Pepsi-Coke mixtures he consumes?!)

He doesn’t really work out, per se; keeps active by booking it everywhere on his skateboard, lifting those cans of spray paint and rocking out onstage with his bass guitar

The boy is definitely proficient in Parkour though (comes in handy when he’s running away from the authorities)

Little known fact: Shaw is also an excellent breakdancer. May have clashed with Gavin from time to time on the dance floor when their crews battled each other, resulting in freak lightning and wind storms. His signature move: Halos.

💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

Thanks so much for reading!  Check out more of my work here! 👀📓

[mrsmarlasinger]

I posted 9,071 times in 2022

That's 1,181 more posts than 2021!

164 posts created (2%)

8,907 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@powerbottombrucespringsteen

@that-twink-over-there

@rainbow-arrow

@rabbitindisguise

@elytrians

I tagged 3,231 of my posts in 2022

#tlt - 326 posts

#personal - 138 posts

#drug mention - 123 posts

#tumblrstake - 108 posts

#september 2022 - 105 posts

#drugs tw - 103 posts

#goncharov - 96 posts

#ldsconf - 91 posts

#general conference - 91 posts

#coronavirus - 86 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#(btw universe i am knocking on wood and i'm nawt trying to extort *extra* luck by reblogging this a second time okay love u 🤜🪵🤜🪵🤜🪵)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

My Favorite TLT Fanart Things

Ianthe

festeringly hawt, not TOO pretty

pale sallow skin. maybe a liiiiittle touch of jaundice, who can say

blood blood blood

small titty committee, but goddamn does she work that cleavage 😳

flat, colorless sheet of long hair (type 1a. texture what texture) that appears vaguely damp at all times

looks like she barely sleeps more than harrow

VISIBLY sickly, washed out, and fucking unhinged

weird vintage-y clothes that she somehow manages to slay OR slinky Barbiecore party girl dress in an obnoxious and unflattering shade of lavender

tall and svelte like a silver screen actress

men's clothes because i pick and choose what's canon here <33

slightly annoying face. punchable woman.

purple is HER color even though it looks terrible on her

evil freak with fucked-up insane eyes

looks at everyone like she's gonna fuck and/or cannibalize them. just radiating the most horrifying sexual energy you've ever seen

slut

cool gross mess of muscle and gristle connecting her bone arm to her shoulder

lean, kind of hollow face with high cheekbones (but still punchable-looking)

eyes either half-lidded and come-hither or just way way too scarily wide

possibly doesn't shower

ianthe can have piercings too. if she wants :)

Gideon | Harrow | Coronabeth

114 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#4

Dallin H. Oaks is the reason I could not remain in the Church.

Dallin H. Oaks is the reason I can't tell my parents that I've been dating a girl for eight months and I'm in love with her and I gave my virginity to her and the other night I dreamed that I proposed to her.

Dallin H. Oaks is the reason my father delights in saying the f-slur and making fun of his trans coworker, but god forbid the gays should marry, god forbid someone should reject the pronouns they were assigned from their very first breath.

Dallin H. fucking Oaks is the reason my parents and grandparents may never show up to my wedding, should I marry my girl, or meet my children, should I choose to have any.

And of course, it's not just Oaks, and if he weren't the emblem of homophobia in the Church, it would be someone else.

But I resent him so much.

I'm sorry—if nothing else, I believe in love. But I cannot love the man who so intensely embodies and perpetuates the pain I've endured for 21 years.

How dare he.

137 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

#3

My Favorite TLT Fanart Things

Harrow*

androgynously hawt, not TOO pretty

little curved fangs as gauges

lotssss of piercings

BONE INDUSTRIAL PIERCING

emo 14-year-old grunge blogger attire or ornate lacy goth princess attire, no in-between

insane bags under her eyes

NO bone tiddies on the rib corset (why)

mean scary little gremlin and/or pathetic wet scrunkly rat

at least vaguely pissed-looking at (almost) all times

black nail polish

flat af but not emaciated because :(

choker/collar thing made of vertically arranged bones (you know the one)

blood blood blood

doesn't look 25! she's only three years old!!

insane unhinged energy always

soft dark eyes. tender eyes. angry, powerful eyes. haunted eyes.

looks about as put-together as a goth freak on the wrong end of a bender

smeared face paint cuz she's fucked up

CATHOLIC SAINT IMAGERY!!!!

mean, pointy, vaguely sickly little ferret face with small angular features (ideal for conveying A. feral rage, B. tortured sorrow, or C. thinly veiled open exasperation)

hair juuust long enough to curl around her ears and get in her eyes, like an anime boy

neither butch nor femme but a secret third thing

*my special little guy 🖤

Gideon | Ianthe | Coronabeth

153 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#2

Mormons RECOVER from limp cabbage EMBARRASSMENT

156 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

22 ½ hours of Canadian Redditors attempting to draw their own flag on r/place:

Please note that this is juxtaposed with intricate pixel art of the Eiffel Tower, featuring The Little Prince...

See the full post

16,897 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[philipcharmont]

headcanons*

triggering content below please read at your own discretion !! (trigger content indicated with tw.)

philip may be the youngest charmont but he’s also the tallest and most built. with all his training, fencing, horse riding and generally being active he’s muscular af. he’s grown into himself over the years. he went from being small and little short then BOOM the philip we know. 

tw. he doesn’t remember much of his mother her last few months. philip doesn’t know if that’s because his brother didn’t allow him to be around their mom when she was ill or because philip didn’t want to remember her like that. he only remembers the good.

he was close to his mother but not as close as florian. philip loves and respects his father but he knows that the king puts a bit more focus on kit given he’s the next in line for the throne. if he had to pick a parental figure he was closest to it would be kit.

he is the kind of person to write love letters. he likes writing letters in general they feel more personal to him.

he doesn’t like being the middle man between his brothers. he’ll play peacemaker where he can but he knows he can’t do much. he misses the days where they all got along. phillip knows he probably views those memories with rose-tinted glasses but having them at odds with each other makes him sad especially with all that’s going on.

cannot cook for shit. will set something on fire.

because philip is so wonderful and nice people often mistake that he’s soft. while there is some gentleness in him philip is anything but soft. he can hold his own and his fire shines through when need be.

his sword has gotten stuck in many places. the wall. a tree. his bed. 

he types with one finger. on his phone and laptop. 

recently was introduced to anime and yells  sasageyo at least once a day. sometimes he does it while withdrawing his sword. 

he loves watching old romantic movies. he has a collection of them.

if you go shopping with him he 100% pushes you around in the cart while shopping to see how fast he can go

chivalry isn’t dead ladies. he will hold open your doors and pull out your seats for you. truly a gentleman.

a himbo who drinks his i love and respect women juice daily. 

he hates lying to people about who he is. although he often hides his prince identity so people don’t treat him differently he hates lying to the people he’s close to. he also fear if they know who he really is they’ll treat him differently. philip just wants people to like him for him not for his title.

definitely was a leash kid growing up. he wandered off too much that he gave his brothers heart attacks because they thought they lost him. he still wanders off now.

absolutely hates failing and is hard on himself when he doesn’t succeed.

he is very open and honest with his feelings, sometimes a little too much philip is an oversharer.

he jumps into situations head first. when duty calls or if someone needs help he acts on impulse and just gos. he has this need in him to save the day and be a hero. even if things end badly because his lack of a plan.

tw. philip knows that he’s the one who will have to defeat maleficent. it’s something he’s already placed on his own shoulders and accepted. while his brothers are skilled, he’s the one with the training. if anyone can slay a dragon it’s him. he knows there’s a big chance of him dying but philip would rather die a hero’s death knowing he protected and saved the ones he loved.

he's a little too willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good when the time calls. he’s also a little too willing to throw himself head first into danger (as stated above but like this many really would walk through fire for someone).

sleeps cuddling a pillow.

[datleggy]

a list of every anime i love/recommend, accumulated over the last 10+ years

1. NATSUME YUUJINCHOU 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is a teenage boy named Natsume, whose parents died when he was too young to remember them properly. He’s passed around random relatives homes, but because he can see yokai (spirits), he’s ostracized by classmates and his foster families (ALL HIS CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS ARE SO FUCKING SAD) and eventually very distant relatives (an older couple who never had kids of their own and have so much goddamn love to give D:!!!) take Natsume in, and the story basically starts from there. 

It’s a very heart-warming story following Natsume’s new life in this new town, accepting his ability to see yokai, forging new relationships in the form of friends and family, and even with the yokai themselves. 

This is honestly probably my favorite anime/manga period, because it’s so sad but so cathartic and you watch as the main character grows and learns to trust those around him, and finally gets the unconditional love he’s always deserved, not to MENTION THE FACT THAT THEY DO A WHOLE EP WHERE NATSUME IS TURNED BACK INTO A LITTLE KID AND IT IS SOOOO GOOD OMG

Plus for those of you who enjoy whump, this show has a decent amount of it. Mainly emotional whump, but also some episodes where Natsume is injured or sick--as well as I believe one where his companion (the chubby cat on his shoulder who’s actually a pretty badass yokai) gets shot with an arrow and is down for the count. 

10/10 would and have watched again. 

2. KODOCHA NO OMOCHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  The main character is a sixth grader named Sana. She’s a gifted actress on a t.v. show everyone likes and she’s silly and fun, very intuitive and surprisingly empathetic for a child. 

Her main problem is in school, where Akito, who she deems the leader of her class’ wolf pack of rowdy rude boys, lets them terrorize not just the teacher, but all the girls in class, as well. 

I don’t really want to give a lot away, so I’ll just state the obvious. This anime/manga is shoujo, which means that it does focus on a romantic relationship throughout the series. Mainly the one between Sana and Akito. Sana is absolutely oblivious about her own feelings, while Akito is a stubborn little shit. 

I remember watching this at like, age 12 maybe? And I really enjoyed it because (although I do enjoy your typical silly doesn’t take itself too seriously slice of life shoujo) this particular anime, while super funny and light hearted at times, was also really dramatic and even kinda dark, which was surprising considering the characters ages and the general kid-friendly vibe (especially the opening for the anime). 

3. DETECTIVE CONAN

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  Our main character is initially Shinichi Kudo, teenage detective, who’s on a date with childhood sweetheart Ran (whose father also happens to a detective but like....not a good one lmao), when his nosy ass self decides to go and check out some shady business and gets “poisoned”. 

The poison he’s given is intended to kill him, but what it actually does is turn him back into a child. And now, as Conan Edogawa, (who’s 7 but like....we just supposed to believe all these cops and detectives on the force are cool with a seven year old wee lil babe on these really gruesome ass crime scenes??? lmaoooo) we follow him on his adventures as he solves crimes and tries to solve the biggest mystery of all, his own! 

I absolutely LOVE this anime/manga, even though I’ll be honest, there is SO MUCH FILLER, but I like the characters enough that I really don’t mind. The show is at least 900+ episodes in at this point, and there are a total of 26 movies so far, last time I checked. 

Also, the show is a whump fangirls’ dream come true. The main character is thrown out of windows, balconies, shot at, and in one occasion actually shot, he’s had broken bones, sprains, almost been blown up or drowned/burned, been sick, and oh, his occasional transformations from child to teenager are incredibly painful. 

This show is probably at fault for my love of whump, since it was one of my first animes at like, age 9. smh. 

4. THE DEVIL IS A PART-TIMER!

REVIEW:

I’m not even going to summarize this one. The title does it for me. This is truly one of the funniest animes I’ve ever seen. Motherfuckin Satan works at a McDonalds part time and it is the BEST. 

Technically I would count this show as a kind of harem, but only because there are like three main girl characters after the overlord Satan himself. I usually dislike harem type animes but the way this is done is sooooo good I couldn’t resist. 

I would watch a million filler episodes of Satan trying to solve problems at his minimum wage job tbh. I love every single character, I love the plot, I love everything about this anime! In terms of comedy (with the occasional plot driven serious moments) this is IT bro. 

5. BLACK BUTLER

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is Ciel Phantomhive (roughly 14 years old). His parents are killed, his house is burned to ashes, and he’s kidnapped (around age 9 or 10 I believe) and abused. During this abuse Ciel calls upon a demon to free him and help him get revenge on those who harmed the Phantomhive household, which is where Sebastian, one “hell of a good butler” comes in. 

We then follow Ciel and Sebastian on their path of vengeance, and along the way we meet Ciel’s human servants, three very clumsy and seemingly bad at their given tasks characters (i love them all), and some of his extended relatives and connections. 

My favorite thing about Black Butler is the art, both in the anime and manga. Everything is so detailed and pretty! 

The characters are interesting, the plot is dark but they manage to make most of the series overall pretty light-hearted and funny in general. Though of course there are chapters/parts of the series that get really grim (which duh, the whole thing focuses on revenge so...) 

I have to say, the arc I enjoyed the most has to be the movie, Black Butler: Book Of the Atlantic. It is beautifully drawn and sooooooo entertaining. 

6. INUYASHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Our main characters are Inuyasha, a half-demon, who’s been in a sort of spiritually binding coma for the last few decades, and fourteen year old Kagome, who falls into an old well in her family’s shrine and finds herself being transported into another time period. 

Together, she and Inuyasha travel across the lands in the feudal era to find the scattered shards of the shikon jewel, a powerful jewel which grants anyone who possesses it ultimate power. 

I was too young to stay up and watch Inuyasha on adult swim, so my mom would tape the show on a VCR for me to watch the next day after school--yes, I’m old old. lmaoooo I ADORE this show. 

It’s so good! It’s got everything! A tortured lil half-demon with a sad past who’s stubborn and rude but got a good heart! A fierce and equally as stubborn main protagonist, who’s whole ass family knows exactly where she goes off to??? and are supportive af????? like???? her mama packs her and her squad of demon/exorcist/demon hunter pals bentos?!?! lmao i love it. 

The characters are awesome and funny and likable as all heck, and of course they all have their sad backstory, but like, unlike some animes (lookin at YOU Naruto) they don’t go mega overboard on it, at least not without some plot behind the episode. 

7. YU YU HAKUSHO 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Before I even start in on the summary, ya’ll should watch this soley bc of the cute ass 90′s style animation alone. LOOK AT ALL THAT SHINY HAIR!

ANYWAY. Main character is teenage hooligan and overall cutie pie Yusuke! He gets struck by a car and fucking DIES in the first episode after shoving a little boy out of the way, only to end up in the spirit world where the head honcho up there (who looks like a wee baby) tells him “Oh shit, didn’t expect you to like, actually do anything self-sacrificing EVER so like, you’re not on our list of people who were supposed to die today...” 

And uh, I don’t wanna give anything away, so I’m just gonna say that if you haven’t seen this anime yet, you definitely should! It’s hilarious and dramatic, the fight scenes are very well done, all the side characters, who eventually become main characters are a blessing (specifically Hiei, who’ve I’ve had a crush on since I was 12) and the ending is a satisfying one, which you can’t really say for a lot of media. 

8. CHRONO CRUSADE 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I still get weepy when I think of this anime, so all I’ll say is it’s about a badass demon slaying nurse and her demon companion and some very tragic shit. 

It’s a great anime overall, especially if you like crying yourself to sleep at night :) 

9. GHOST HUNT

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is high school student Mai, who is hired by Naru, the head of a Shibuya psychic research, and together, with a group of questionable exorcists/psychics, they encounter paranormal phenomenons and some outright scary shit. 

I’m not really a fan of the horror genre tbh but I do like mystery, and the series deals with that quite a bit. They deal with each case for several episodes so nothing feels too rushed. 

The series is really fun in a creepy, wtf is that way. I recommend the manga, only because it’s more detailed in terms of plot than the anime. 

10. ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I didn’t really make this list in any particular order but if I had to say, Assassination Classroom and Natsume Yuujinchou probably tie for BEST ANIME PERIOD! 

This anime is about a weird ass “alien” creature, no one knows where it came from or why tf it’s here on earth, all they know is that in one year it’s threatened to blow the world up. 

His only request to the government is that they let him become a teacher for Class E, the worst class of Kunugigaoka Junior High School, and he will stay put, so that they can attempt an assassination on him during this one year period. 

AND LISTEN! I am a shallow hoe, so I literally never would have read this manga or watched the series had I not been roaming Barnes and Noble one day with my S.O. and picked it up to read as a JOKE! 

I was hooked after the first chapter and I am soooooooo glad I picked this manga up, bc it is absolutely not the type I would normally go for, cover art wise. I finally, after many many years, learned not to judge a book by its cover bc LORD this anime is so goddamn good, you don’t understand! Like, I’ve watched it so many times and still laugh at the same parts, cry at the same parts, am proud af at the same parts! like, this anime is an instant classic and should definitely be more popular than it is. 

assassination classroom and natsume yuujinchou????? MASTERPIECES! 

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x09

After the very public outing of Liza’s real age last week, it was no surprise that this week’s Younger episode, ‘Millennial’s Next Top Model’, was all about the fallout. In true Younger style we were treated to some unexpected twists and turns, saw Kelsey take control at work and in her personal life and welcomed back my #1 mega-villain who I hate-love fiercely, Quinn Tyler.  This ep was written by Grant Sloss, who is responsible for a number of my favourite episodes and lot of my fave moments in the series and one thing I am always blown away by is his ability to craft character interactions in which the sentiment and emotion are really palpable (plus the one-liners are always top of the game) and we certainly saw a number of those this week.  Even though Liza is 100% responsible for the position she now finds herself in, my heart went out to her this whole episode and Kelsey, Charles and Diana’s show of solidarity right from the get-go pretty much sums up everything I love about this show. 

I need to say upfront that while I know this episode is all about Liza, it is hands down my favourite episode of Kelsey’s in the series. In a time of real pressure and stress, we see Kelsey step up in the role of publisher, starting with the damage control team meeting in her office. I have big feelings about this opening moment, in which Diana proves why she is an actual Queen who rises above past grievances and now offers unwavering support of Liza while continuing to have zero time for Zane’s bullshit (the ‘well mercifully they have a paywall now’ to Zane’s New York Magazine tidbit was all of the yes). We learn of the deal with Infinitely 21 (was it just me or did anyone else get heart flutters at the thought of Kelsey, Diana and Liza being their brilliant selves and brokering that arrangement? Just me? Cool) and I have spoken of my love for the way this show parodies real life things but this might take the cake. Alexa, what are synonyms for ‘forever’? I just adore that it is very clear that Kelsey is in charge and that Charles and Diana are offering up potential solutions (Diana’s ‘rest her a bit’ is so in character I cannot. Between that and Charles’ thoroughbred thighs from season 4 I fully expect her to have a couple of horses upstate somewhere called Charles and Liza by the end of this series), meanwhile Zane clearly still hasn’t caught on to the fact that these three are not going to throw Liza under a bus.

Enter Liza as he’s ending his tirade about her poisoning the company (and lbh, what he is saying isn’t actually ridiculous from a business p.o.v but he’s talking about the best friend, girlfriend and (old) maid of honour of the people in the room) and it’s awkward af and pretty awful and I want to climb through my screen, wrap Liza in a blanket and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Zane’s extreme over-estimation of his importance in Liza’s life continues when he tells her that what he’s saying can’t be personal because ‘I don’t know who you are’ (worth it for Charles’ ‘Zane’ reprimand though amirite) and as I said after last week’s episode, I can’t even count on one hand the number of interactions Zane and Liza have had so yes Zane, that is accurate and nothing to do with her age reveal. At least once he discovered that Kelsey has known about the lie he FINALLY has a reason to be hurt (maybe? Still a little fuzzy on this one) and look Zane saying they’re all insane might be somewhat accurate but everyone in that room loves Liza and I love all of them so I felt personally attacked tbh.

Keeping with the stellar guest star casting this season, Shelly Rozansky (played by Annaleigh Ashford) is every kind of irritating as brand rep of Infinitely 21. Kelsey and Liza’s meeting with her, in which Shelly explains that 'the tea’ is that their authentic brand cannot be associated with Millennial’s inauthentic one (I love the moral high ground re: brand but I’m pretty sure Millennial doesn’t have factory workers making less than a living wage so…) and this very real ramification of Liza’s lie paves the way for one of Liza’s best moments on the show to date.

Taking that tea of Shelly’s and throwing it in her face, Liza’s monologue that 'everyone is pretending to be younger’ reaches it’s climax with the zinger, 'Millennial is not an age, it’s an attitude and if you can’t sell that, we’ll go somewhere else’, and Kelsey’s look of pride, same girl SAME. One thing I have commented on in the past is that as a '26 year old’ Liza rarely, if ever, really stood up for herself. The few times we’ve seen her do so have been as the forty year old who takes no crap from anyone (David, Charles, Don) so I am here times a million for strong ass Liza to finally shed that guilt, know her worth and be able to show this side of herself now that the lie is no longer in play (I feel like Diana will dig this very much).

Turns out Shelly was quite into Liza’s feisty outburst too ('what you screamed at me today, justifiably, we’re still friends promise…it resonated’ = award winning line/delivery combo), as she calls to let Liza know they’re going to unfreeze the partnership and asks Liza to be the face (and legs) of Infinitely 21’s Spring campaign. This phone call takes place in a very delicious looking cupcake shop where Liza and Charles are playing cards with his daughters in an all round delightful family situation that gives us a glimpse of the Miller-Brooks dynamic and makes the point that after a pretty terrible day, Liza is grateful to have this in her life to counter all the drama. I am also pleased to see that Bianca and Nicole have been located (meanwhile Caitlin, Beth and all of Josh’s friends remain stuck in the Upside Down or have become bunker people or something equally ominous I fear).

I am very into a number of aspects of this entire scene: a) Charles eating candy just up and gets me for some reason. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it’s akin to seeing him walking round barefoot, it confuses my brain but I’m pretty sure I like it; b) Bianca is clearly the fave child with her cute little, 'I won’t take your last bag of candy Liza’ (lol at Charles’ 'wow’ when Liza offers that up for the taking btw, he knows that’s a serious gamble) though I was 100% Nicole as a kid; c) those kids are so not sleeping after all that sugar so I hope they’re staying at Pauline’s, while Charles’ dad game is strong with the breakfast cupcakes and; d) Charles kissing Liza on the cheek as she takes Shelly’s call is so damn sweet (pun intended) and supportive and I love that Liza suggesting he go stand with the girls in case she starts crying again indicates she has been an open mess around him. It’s writing like this that I really appreciate when there is so much to fit into an episode, because it provides insight into the kind of relationship Liza and Charles have when there simply isn’t time to show it.

While Liza is drowning her sorrows in candy and cupcakes, Maggie is at the brilliantly cringy art exhibit, 'Masculinity Detox: A Softer Male Gaze’. Look I have to be honest, I was really happy to see Oded Fehr because he can play a skeeze with charm like no other, but I don’t know how I feel about this entire plot. I can only comment on it from a straight perspective, so I am aware that I’m not really in a position to express an opinion in relation to the impact of showing a gay character thinking it’s a good idea to sample a penis every ten years or so, but I certainly feel like it’s problematic. In relation to this character though, it is consistent with Maggie sleeping with Tommy Minetti (and his sister Tammy) as a result of Berlin’s 'Take my Breath Away’ (I don’t know why I remember that, I can’t remember what month it is yet this stuff is right there) and there is no denying that there were actual sparks between Maggie and Rafael in the loft, the palpable chemistry that Grant Sloss’ eps seem to draw out on full display. 

Another dimension of Maggie that I love seeing emerge in this ep is that while she is usually a total badass in absolute control, every now and then we see that her judgement of character is just way off. There was Montana, those weirdo art collectors who actually collect artists and now this guy. I love that there’s a side of her that gets a bit blinded by flattery so she thinks 'what the hell?’ and the inevitable 'oh I CAN-NOT with this bullshit’ that follows, usually very publicly - Exhibit A: Maggie countering dirtbag Rafael’s, 'I’ll change you mind, I’m a flipper’ with a literal flip of the restaurant table once she realises she was simply another conquest. She seems so unflappable that these reminders that she’s fallible (I legit sometimes forget she’s not an actual super hero) are really great and maintains the 'flawed human’ aspect this show does so well. Honestly, other than Liza in a full tracksuit (sweat clothes?? I don’t know what it is in American but that cute pink sweat top and sweatpants combo) thinking they were being robbed and very confused by what had happened (so were we all lbh and Kinsey 9 LOL), it was Maggie equating sex with a man to being suffocated by a damp rug that was the highlight of this entire storyline for me. So damn funny.

Diana continues to have Liza’s back as she heads to the photo-shoot to steer her away from anything pleather (I may need a spin off of these two or some kind of one off special episode that’s just an elaborate Diana/Liza adventure, maybe rescuing Caitlin and co. from the bunker??), but not before we catch Kelsey still slaying it as a boss as she leaves a voicemail for the increasingly petulant Zane. Hearing her so firm and sure of herself is brilliant and the friendship vibe between Diana and Kelsey is peaking and I am loving every bit of it. I am so glad we heard Diana asking Kelsey how she took the lie, while Diana was able to forgive and move forward it would have been strange if we didn’t see her still processing some of it this week. Plus it’s Diana who points out that Zane’s tantrum is not because Liza is who he is upset with (and THANK YOU Kelsey for pointing out that Liza and Zane hardly know each other). 

Rather than letting the whole Zane thing fester away, Kelsey continues to impressively show initiative by going to Zane’s and offering to cook dinner (which Zane knows is a lol and it’s not long before he’s cooking, so well played Kels) to give him the opportunity to ask anything he wants and she will answer honestly. Once a proper explanation of why Liza lied and why Kelsey kept it from him is given, Zane suddenly reverts back to being a rational human being which is a relief because he was fast becoming the worst (though his comment that they were all bad liars, what now?? Yes they be cray but their lying game is strong friend). I am not particularly invested in Kelsey and Zane as a pairing but I always appreciate good storytelling and writing, and revisiting the fact Zane told her he loved her in past tense was an example of both of these. In order for any kind of relationship between these two to progress believably this needed to be addressed and hearing Kelsey call Zane out on his shitty and manipulative behaviour was great, but even greater was seeing Kelsey drop her guard.

Opening up about being mad at herself too and that maybe if they were both more open about their feelings they wouldn’t have wasted so much time denying how they really felt; that she felt, no, feels, the same way, present tense; the resetting of the timer so she can finish what she was going to say instead of taking the option of backing out; the honest conversation…you know what all this is? Growth. Kelsey Lorraine Peters, I am just so damn proud of you because I am the first to admit that I was not sure this character could be redeemed for me after last season but here we are. The emotion for this whole scene, you could feel it and Zane’s, 'oh that timer was for food’ was fab, before he just casually drops in, ’ I love you, but stay out of my kitchen’. OK.  Smitten mode activated.

Meanwhile, Diana is no doubt enjoying Shelly’s disbelief that she and Liza are almost the same age about as much as a root canal and Lauren appears with a 'bowflex for your face’ to combat the 5 o'clock jowls. Side note: Lauren and Liza really need to have a convo asap because I definitely feel like Lauren is not ok with the lie since it’s been revealed. Scene of the ep goes to Charles walking into the trailer (with flowers for Liza *swoon*) while Diana is flapping that contraption, before he slowly backs away and I tell you, I was howling so hard I almost ruptured something. Liza’s hideous romper/scooter combo is just no on many levels, she clearly feels super unnatural and the photographer snapping Charles and Liza, who are not expecting to be photographed while her being made up to look so young obviously makes them look very far apart in age and a bit awks means that yes, the daddy/daughter dance vibe is strong, though that line made me vom in my mouth a little bit.

Between shoots our extremely excellent villain Quinn pays Liza a visit to show her support and her well-polling glasses. Her real talk that the good news about the publishing reaction to Liza’s lie is that 'eight blocks outside of midtown, nobody cares’, is what we were all thinking and is def to be filed under 'G’ for Gold. So naturally Quinn drags her into a completely self-serving NY1 interview (bless Liza for thinking they wanted to interview her) and I freaking love Quinn, she’s such a delicious character coz she’s awful and funny and pretty and a total smart ass. I stan.

Before we jump to the second part of the photo-shoot I have to say that the very obvious ploy to try and juxtapose Liza’s relationships with Charles and Josh felt like it was trying too hard and was mostly disappointing to me because it felt so forced. I want to be very clear that it has nothing to do with who I like Liza with romantically, it would have felt contrived regardless and was the only aspect of the episode that I felt could have been crafted with a little more nuance. Or maybe that was the point? Perhaps the obviousness was part of the humour of it *shrug emoji* 

Either way, Liza is looking pretty exhausted when Josh turns up at the bar photo-shoot for reasons (whose name I am betting is Lauren Heller because there is no way he would just turn up and it is 100% in her wheelhouse to send him along after seeing the expressions on her face at the earlier shoot. I feel like this will def come out at some point and that really this whole shoot is serving to bring about stuff in future eps) and he doesn’t get to explain why he is there because he’s teasing Liza about being a model and I really do love their banter. Shelly has no idea what’s happening but she likes it and is thirsting pretty hard as she shakes his hand and I enjoyed hearing Liza talk about Josh as patient zero, her 'would you correct him?’ as she squeezed his cheeks made me smile. I know there have been a LOT of feelings about this scene expressed on social media, but I found the reminiscing, as Josh talked about how when he first met Liza he thought she was smart and sexy and he wanted to keep talking to her, really sweet (and quickly countered by his joking about being really drunk and it being dark).  

I actually love this dynamic so much and if this show had moved these two properly into the friendzone I would be celebrating this as a pin-up example of how to show romantic-platonic relationship transition. I still may, because at this stage there is nothing to indicate that Liza is anything but committed to Charles and Josh gave no impression of pining for her IMO, but as an experienced TV connoisseur (aka obsessive tv show watcher) I am not naive enough to think that this interaction mightn’t be setting in motion a resurgence of the triangle. By the same token, I do not see any triangle in play at the moment and one thing this show does excel at is surprising us, so time will tell, but I am going to keep my faith in the writers to tell good, compelling stories that stay true to all the excellent characters and narratives they have in front of them, as they have done up until now.

While Liza’s colleagues aren’t going to throw her under a bus, Quinn is not only more than happy to, I’m pretty sure she’d drive the bus herself if it served her own self interest.  Quinn saying that she found out about Liza’s lie the week before in The New Yorker article, ooomph, did you feel that? It was the wind being knocked out of all of us, along with poor Liza, as Quinn counters Liza’s suggestion that she knew the truth before she invested on live TV. It was evident fairly quickly that Quinn was using the interview as a campaign platform and Liza’s expression as Quinn betrays her so publicly is yet another credit to Sutton Foster’s incredible talent.

My Kelsey love was brought home this week when she met Quinn following the NY1 interview. She is unrelenting in her backing of Liza and unwavering in her stance to Quinn when she is asks her to fire Liza. From the moment she arrives Kelsey is so kick ass, she sees every one of Quinn’s attempts to bully her into getting what she wants and Kelsey’s, 'please don’t minimise the strength I bring to this meeting’ was such a hell yes moment. There is something so satisfying about seeing Quinn in a position where she needs something from Kelsey and Kelsey standing so firm. Kelsey’s 'are we done here?’ before walking away was such a power move and the transition into her own office the next day, with Charles reassuring her that she did the right thing, was wonderful. Seeing these two as equals, talking business with a bit of a mentor/mentee dynamic is a dream. It was on my season 6 wish list and I can’t wait to see more of it.

It is upon discovering that Audrey Colbert’s manuscript delivery cheque bounced and that Diana just heard one of the Jennifer’s, the sloppy one from publicity (this line, I swear and also I need to meet her), say her direct deposit didn’t go through that we discover Quinn has thrown the ultimate tantrum and pulled her funding and Mercurennial is broke.

Poor Liza feels that it’s all her fault, I’m sure partly because of the way her colleagues turn and look at her when she walks in the office and partly because it is, but Charles continues to play the role of ultimate supportive partner as they stroll down the street after work, pointing out that Liza attracted Quinn to the company in the first place (and we ALL know it was not the company she was attracted to). I am simple folk and Charles saying he’s spoken for as he put his arm around her made me melt into a puddle and if anyone is feeling concerned about Liza’s level of besotted, watch this final scene as Charles reassures her that, 'you know what’s great about the worst thing happening? There’s no place to go but up. Only good things ahead’. I may have actually died from the sweetness of the entire thing and Liza does exactly what any self respecting person would in that situation and kisses him before they walk off hand in hand. To live happily ever after…jokes LOL I mean it’s television and it turns out Infinitely 21 has the most efficient marketing team on the planet because their campaign is launched and whattya know, it looks as though Liza and her ex will be plastered all over the city. 

File under 'O’ for OF COURSE.

[solohux]

🍁♥ solohux’s October fic favourites ♥🍁

IGNORE MY LATENESS!

♡ Under The Moonlight by kittens (2866 words, Rated Teen+)

modern au, werewolf kylo, demon hux

Kylo has moved into a new neighborhood in hopes of better keeping his condition a secret and he has a very cute new neighbor.  But he might also have a few secrets.

♡ Hold Onto Hope by @darthkylorevan (719 words, Rated Teen+)

5 times fic, fluff

The first time Kylo asked, Hux curled his lips into a sneer and denied it. Instead, he rose from the bed, gathered his clothes, and left. That wasn’t him--wasn’t them. That Kylo should presume to think he would accept such a request, would indulge him in such a manner...well, he’d always thought the man wasn’t quite the smartest at times, hadn’t he?

♡ will you still love me after out first time(s) by sorryuser (1195 words, Rated Teen+)

first time, softness

some of their first times resonate with kylo.

♡ baby, i’m preying on you tonight by @theomegapoint (1047 words, Rated E)

tw noncon, omega kylo, fucking machine, hot af smut

Ren struggles against the restraints he's been locked into and Hux has no doubt that were he not sufficiently gagged, he would be cursing. It's impudent behavior from an omega, especially a bitch in heat, but Hux allows it on the grounds that Ren is about to be punished enough for six lifetimes during the course of his heat.

♡ It Will Have Blood, They Say by CrimsonFootsteps (WIP) (5605 words, Rated E)

witch kylo, familiar hux, violence and blood, amazing plot with added smut

Kylo Ren is a powerful witch, but one who was supposedly smothered in power as a child after a violent outburst during his training as a white witch.  As an adult, not remembering much if at all about magic, he began to collect artifacts that belonged to his grandfather, Vader, and in the process, activated his own immense power and the power of the Grand Grimoire. Armitage Hux is a Familiar, a human who has fused with a demon soul, and his greatest wish is to be the One- the eldest, the heir to Hell itself.  Gaining the Grimoire would instantly gain him what he desires, and at first, he thinks dealing with Kylo will be simple.  However, nothing is easy, nothing is as it seems, and a casual bond may not be enough to grant them the power to get what they desire.

♡ whoever you are, holding me now in hand by spitfire007 (WIP) (2595 words, Rated General Audience)

pre-tfa, venom au, symbiote kylo

General Hux knew that there would be several surprises that came with taking command of Starkiller Base. However, learning that Kylo Ren was the symbiote of Ben Solo was the last thing that he expected.

♡ To Run From What You Feel by @kyluxtrashbin (5095 words, Rated Teen+)

shared nightmares, hurt/comfort, plotting against snoke

Kylo and Hux, both exhausted from their ordeal on Starkiller Base, are suffering from disturbing dreams: dreams they share. And in these images they discover more about each other than they had suspected before.

♡ Stars In Ones Mind by @hemlockcryptid (1117 words, Rated General Audiences)

pre-tlj, softness

A moment of peace during an on going war

♡ Vampires Will Never Hurt You by @saltandrockets (3557 words, Rated M)

vampire kylo, hunter hux, sexual tension

Armitage hates being out in the field. He prefers to work behind the scenes—gathering information, crafting stakes and other weapons. But when conventional vampire-slaying methods fail, his only option is to play the honey pot. Turns out, vampires dig redheads.

♡ In Good Hands by @missabigailhobbs (1809 words, Rated M)

sub kylo, caning, aftercare

An expert Dom, Hux loves caning Kylo. He pushes Kylo's pain threshold further and further with 100 lashes, until Kylo is delirious and in subspace. Kylo allows Hux to do anything to him while he's in this state, even share him with friends.

♡ Below His Window by BlackKyber (4015 words, Rated General Audiences)

arranged marriage, prince ben au

Prince Ben Organa has been avoiding marriage for years. He feels that nobody would be a suitable match for him, so he studiously avoids or sabotages all the potential spouses that his parents set up for him.One day his luck runs out, when the King of a distant planet proposes that his son would be a perfect match for the wiry Ben. Unable to talk his way out of the situation, Ben begrudgingly prepares for his upcoming nuptials ... when a surprise visit from an unexpected source shifts the balance of everything.

♡ Rebirth by @jinxedambitions (7578 words, Rated E)

modern au, sub ben, dom hux, aftercare

Over a year after Ben Solo disappeared on his hunt for Armitage Hux, Poe is sent a clue by one of his informants.  While the video doesn't give any clues as to where Ben is, it certainly shows exactly who he's with and how he's spending his time.  Fully embracing the name Kylo Ren, Poe's former partner shows that years of rebellion and disciplinary actions are in the past.  By the General's hand, he has been reborn, and he is now the embodiment of control of mind and body.

♡ Safe Keeping by @centurytwitch (1922 words, Rated Teen+)

hux in peril, ghosts, protective kylo

The shuttle had been seized, for all appearances the crew missing. When the First Order regained control of the shuttle only two pirates were left alive. Interrogations and the blackbox told them of a better outcome. Despite the blood that stained the shuttle four individuals boarded the pirate ship, three pirates to escort the one in shackles. Kylo had reason to hope.

♡ What The Night Takes by @camellia-cook (9148 words, Rated E)

modern au, summoning gone wrong, witch kylo, bottom kylo, amazing smut

When Kylo's attempt to cast a very powerful, very dark spell goes awry, he accidentally calls up more than he bargained for: an ancient demoness of overwhelming supernatural power. She'll grant him the strength he's looking for, but only at a price.When Hux goes to investigate reports of a citizen in distress, he finds more than he expected: a naked, lust-crazed, half-possessed witch begging for his touch. He doesn't believe in magic, but this guy says he's going to die if Hux doesn't give him what he needs.

♡ Test Subject by pimpmypaws (2939 words, Rated E)

medical kink, subject kylo, dominant hux

Hux and Kylo are a kinky couple with a very elaborate fantasy which they act out on weekends in specifically rented places: Kylo is a laboratory mutt used by Hux, a sadistic scientist. Kylo spends his weekends in cages and on exam tables as Hux subjects him to invasive procedures, controls and monitors his every breath, his food, water intake and waste, administers bitter "medicines" and injects him with light sedatives only to clean him out and then push his bare cock into Kylo's ass. Hux, actually a medical professional, knows exactly how to make the experience intense and utterly submissive for Kylo. Both are extremely into it and it’s all consensual even though they play rough and mutt Kylo gets debased and abused.

♡ Sensory Deprivation by kyodontdoit (1168 words, Rated E)

blindfolds, sub kylo, dominant hux

Kylo Ren allows Hux to do as he likes, which starts with Hux telling him not to use the Force.

♡ Insatiable by @shinysylver (701 words, Rated E)

semi-public sex, kylo groping hux

When Ren is high on the power of the Dark Side he's insatiable. Hux likes him that way.

♡ How Do You Say ‘Kiss Me’? by @flaming-dumpster (602 words, Rated General Audiences)

language kink, flirty kylo

General Hux can speak Arkanian. Kylo Ren puts him to the test.

♡ Dark Side of the Moon by @furrygeneralhux (WIP) (7906 words, Rated E)

modern au, human to animal tf, maned wolf hux

This was not happening to Hux. He was not shifting into a giant maned wolf on the night of his date with Kylo Ren. Absolutely not, this was some sort of terrible dream. But why did it feel so real?

♡ Dancing Ewoks, Painted X-Wings by @cynicalpudding (WIP) (14,015 words, Rated E)

anastasia crossover, prince ben, friends to lovers

Ben Solo, Prince of Alderaan, disappears when the palace is attacked by followers of the evil Snoke. Years later, Luke Skywalker, the brother of Queen Leia, offers a reward for Ben’s return. Sensing an opportunity, a scheming duo, Armitage Hux and Phasma, plan to pawn off a phony. They hold auditions and choose an orphan boy with amnesia and a remarkable resemblance to the missing prince. But, they get a bit more then they bargained for in the form of the fiery and cynical Kylo Ren.

♡ Babe, I’m Here Again by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleof (WIP) (80,106 words, Rated E)

modern au, abo, omega hux, mpreg, tw cancer

It's 2008 and graduate student Armitage Hux has no idea why hes still hanging out with that nerd of a second year Ben Solo. Surely he had better things to do that sit around planning Dungeons & Dragons adventures with this not-at-all-attractive Alpha who he definitely doesn't think about constantly. A tale of illness, heartbreak, unexpected gifts, new beginnings, and rediscovery. Featuring two idiots who don't realise how much they love each other until its almost too late.

♡ Unexpected by @gonna-pop (WIP) (19,780 words, Rated E)

old married kylux, omega hux, mpreg

After twenty years together, Ben and Armitage have gotten comfortable. There are no surprises left in their marriage, and nothing new to learn about each other. That is, until Armitage unexpectedly goes into heat while they’re vacationing on a resort world — and a few days of renewed passion changes the course of their lives.

happy reading! ♥ ♥ ♥ 

[serenagaywaterford]

random thoughts:

jsyk, Serena swam in the place my dog poops. I hope Fred stepped in it. Die Fred.

(spoilers obvs)

NOT. ENOUGH. JANINE. the only time i cheered out the entire 3 episodes was that one glimpse of janine.

I got to see my girl Alma though which was lovely.

OMG. Can... I just... that scene with Emily walking through the hospital was the dumbest fucking, most American stupid scene ever on this show. It was so fucking cheesy and absolutely 10000% unrealistic. Who actually thought it was a good idea? They should be fired. Or sent to go work on Grey’s Anatomy or something. Not even that shitshow aka SVU would do something as painfully cliched and cheesy as that. Firstly, this show is fucking stupid. Okay. If all this shit was happening, Canada would have got like MILLIONS of refugees. Seeing the cops escort some raggedy refugee would be common af. Maybe it’s the baby thing? Still, Canadians aren’t gawkers like that. We also don’t like embarrassing displays like that. It’s so American it hurts.  NOBODY CLAPS LIKE THAT IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL. It’s a quiet place, okay. Also, why don’t any of these doctors have anything better to do? Anyway. I hated that scene so much.

Nick is so boring. So boring. He’s just a wet doughnut. I sorta liked him getting angry at June but also I wish I cared about anything he has to say. Bye Nick Bland. Good riddance.

Lawrence’s one liners? Funny. Lawrence? Disgusting awful psycho. I hate him sfm. 

Fred? Also disgusting. I hate him 10000x more. Everything about him is repulsive. He’s so much worse this season. I hate everything about his entitled, poor me, manpain. I hate hearing about any of his feelings. Fucking die already. I found him interesting enough as an antagonist in the show before but no longer. Redundant.

Beth. Too good for Nick. Too good for this world.

Too much staring. I AM SO SICK OF IT. It wastes time. Is redundant af at this point. I’m bored. Stop it.

Moss... um. Honey. I love you but... what the fuck was up with all the over-acting? 302 seemed particularly bad. Like I just can’t take it anymore. Who directed 302? They should be fired too for making her do that. Also, lady from Transparent, what the fuck was up with her acting?

Luke is useless. Like, I get it. I get why he’s a huge damp sulkbaby but I mean. I don’t want to see it? I’d rather just not see him at all cos literally I can’t recall a scene of him not being fucking useless or ignorant. Or half-assing it. I want to like Luke, honestly. But I just... don’t. I love the shit outta Moira and Erin, and I adored Moira/Emily interactions. But Luke? Miss me with his manpain.

Once again, I hate Lawrence. He is no good. He’s so fucking creepy and gross. I do not understand why people like him? And I don’t mean, “I don’t know why people like this character.” I mean, “I don’t understand why people like this person.” As a character, sure, he’s interesting and revolting and does his role well. He’s even got some funny lines and Whitford has great delivery. I mean these people who LIKE HIM. As a person. They think he’s great and a good guy. I don’t get it. Are we watching the same show? He’s a great character and a terrible person. That said, he’s still a dude and I’m not about to say he’s such a great character that I want to know all about him. Nah, bros. I wanna know all about Emily, Moira, Serena, Janine, Alma... and June I suppose but we already have quite enough of her. I don’t care about Lawrence’s backstory or emotional turmoil. I don’t need his perspective cos I’ve seen it before, I know it already. It’s in so many movies, books, and TV. So, he may be a well-written character but he’s not a fascinating one. If we wanna dig around in the psyches of bad people, Serena and Lydia are far more fascinating cos bad women’s stories are so much rarer to explore in any depth.

So, June got her feet lashed to shit again. And then she’s just walking around like no biggie next scene? Did the writers forget the first season when June couldn’t walk at all? All I’m asking is a bit of a limp?

June going straight to the house that just housed the handmaid that ran away with June’s baby seems... well, like complete bullshit. Never.

SERENA ISN’T WEARING HER WEDDING BAND. She’s done. She hates that man and I hate the fact everyone is pushing her to just get over it. Fred... is horrible in literally every single way. Every. Single. Way. (And sure Serena is horrible in some ways, but not nearly the same ways as Fred.) I just want Serena to be free of him. I want her and June to murder his ass. Graphically. That is the only violence I want to see on this show in the future. OMG, I can’t actually explain how much I hate him and I vomit in my mouth thinking about Serena having to get back with him. Even if I know she has to in order to survive. Ugh. 

UM. Okay, the “blood against the snow” bit was really interesting. I don’t recall Offred saying that in the book but Atwood brings it up often when talking about red. It was clever to include her own words, just like last season with the “men are afraid women will laugh at them...” bit.

But speaking of weird inclusions: Lawrence reciting book!Offred’s line about how easy is it to invent a humanity for anyone. It was curious they had Lawrence saying that to June, whereas it’s Offred in the book thinking that about the Commander.  “He was not a monster, to her. Probably he had some endearing trait: he whistled, offkey, in the shower, he had a yen for truffles, he called his dog Liebchen and made it sit up for little pieces of raw steak. How easy it is to invent a humanity, for anyone at all. What an available temptation.”

My wife, when Nick showed up in 303: “Oh, this prick again!” Just out of nowhere cos we don’t talk about fandom shit. She has no idea the extent of my sick obsession with this show. She doesn’t know how much I loathe Nick lol. She’s completely casual and even she can’t stand Nick. Which is so lovely. And then when he was yapping about going to the front, she just muttered, “Hopefully he’ll die there.”

OH MY GOD. I HATE MEN. That whole Commanders meeting scene made me want to throw up multiple times. It started with the words “shipment of females” and just got progressively worse with every passing second.

Except... LMAO. June: *sees Fred at a meeting* Fred: Hello. June: Hey you see Serena? How’s Serena? Is Serena okay? Serena’s tough. She’s great. She’ll be okay. I love her. *proceeds to do the world’s worst cringe-inducing seduction* I think on some level even Fred knows it’s bullshit.

I love comparing June’s seduction of Fred to her seduction of Serena. They’re very interesting contrasts. She’s so painfully fake with Fred. And only sort of insincere at times with Serena. 

Man, Sylvia is a dick lol. LOOK RICHMOND IS HARD ENOUGH TO GET ACROSS WITHOUT YOUR LIME GREEN CAR BLOCKING THE ONE MOVING LANE OF TRAFFIC!!!!!! Jokes aside... I actually really liked that scene of Emily finally calling her. That was touching and the closest I came to actually getting sniffly.  Actually no. Traffic on Richmond is no joke. I’m not kidding. That was a dick move, Sylvia. LOL.

June saying Nichole gets her politicianess thing from Serena absolutely fucking slayed me. I don’t even care if she was emotionally manipulating her af, it seemed genuine in parts of that convo. TWO MOMMIES. June used her flashback!June voice at one point. Honestly, these two actresses run this town.  You can tell how broken Serena is tho cos she’s oblivious to how manipulative June is being. She’s been aware in the past as soon as June does her whole “Say nice thing, bond over babies, ask for something” method and called her on it. It’s June’s only trick. It’s transparent af. And Serena knows it. Yet, she seems completely wooed now and not at all suspicious. So, when she gets her wits together again, I suspect Serena won’t be so malleable.

I’ve said a bunch of stuff about June/Serena stuff in my tag rants so I won’t repeat it. I just fell in love with it all.

PRAISE BE!!! We didn’t actually have to see a Nick/June sex scene. Behold His miracle! I was so relieved. And then... curiously they continued that love-theme-y music all the way over into Serena’s scene with June and that was not a coincidence.

I know people really like that Boomtown Rats song being the music to the fire... And it’s a jam. But... it’s about a real school shooting and I feel like that’s just a little... off? (Not to mention Tori Amos’ version is better, imo.) I mean, okay, I did some drama courses in university and I did a thing about that song so I researched it all and it just to me doesn’t fit at all. A 16-year-old girl shot up an elementary school. And somehow, call me crazy, but that’s completely inappropriate to use in this scene. I get female rage, etc etc. I get they didn’t want to go super obvious and use a song about burning houses. But considering how EXCELLENT a song they chose for 3x03 with that Roy Harper track you’d think they’d find something better for the bed/house burning. Not only that but the motive for Spencer was ... literally nothing. She didn’t like Mondays and thought it would be fun to kill a bunch of kids--which is the complete opposite of Serena’s motivations. It just devalues it.

I want more of Emily’s journey. This is the first time I’ve actually been interested in Emily tbh. And Clea Duvall is a treasure.

I want a Moira/Emily BROTP. Honestly Moira just seems like the best friend anybody could have?

WHY IS NICK A COMMANDER?! WTF????? Was I just not listening carefully enough? Is he? Cos I don’t really pay attention when he’s onscreen tbh and the wifey was like “Why’s this guy a commander now?” And I was like, “What do you mean he’s a commander?” Honestly, Nick is just like a piece of furniture. I barely notice him onscreen lol. Okay, this has nothing to do with my dislike of him. It honestly does not make any sense. We saw that other Commander only got promoted because his wife got pregnant. WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY PROMOTE NICK? What on god’s green earth has he EVER fucking done well? Why the shitting hell would they promote a Guardian who, under his watch, has had one handmaid kill herself, another one escape/”get kidnapped”, wife cheat on him then get executed, allow a BABY to get kidnapped, the house get burned down????? All those things seem like Very Bad things and put all together seem like something that would put him on the Wall for being such a shitty employee rather than someone who deserves MORE responsibility. There’s literally no reason to make him a Commander. Just conscript him to the Chicago front. You don’t need a reason. He’s a grunt. Eye or not. I DO NOT GET IT. Fred gets demoted and Nick gets promoted? Nahhhhh mans. Not buying it.

So little Nick. I love it. I want zero Nick, but this’ll do. I’ll even put up with him being a Commander (LMAO) if it means he goes away for a while.

Lawrence calling out June’s terrible seduction technique (it is really bad), and calling Fred stupid = :} 

OK BACK TO THE BURNING WATERFORD HOUSE... i cannot abide how SLOW June is ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. Like, she shows up in Serena’s little pyromaniacal bedroom inferno and is like “COME ON!” and pulls her out of the room in what appears to be a hurry. Then as Serena and Rita are rushing out June just fucking stops and starts staring at all the smoke as if she’s on fucking shrooms. Then there she goes on her bullshit... Hey, bish, the house is literally burning down cos your crazy ass soulmate set fire to her own life and maybe you should leave. No? Not interested? Sure, stand there. Feel up the walls like I did once on MDMA. Makes total fucking sense. TAKE YOUR TIME WHY DON’T YOU? Why not? It just reminded me of 2x13 when Rita was saying “You gotta leave NOW!” and June just took it upon herself to carve a bunch of shit onto the wall for no goddamn reason.

OKAY. I WAS RIGHT. The other night when I was like, “I think I know that beach.” I do know that beach!!! My dog likes to take dumps right where Serena was. (I clean up after him, don��t worry.) I can point out that beach on a map if you want. There are also heroin needles and ticks in the bushes. There is literally a water treatment plant 200m away. I go swimming exactly where Serena was and once a dead fish floated by and I had to wrestle my dog away from it. I have been swimming there a lot. It’s nice in the summer. HOWEVER, poor Yvonne in her drysuit doing that in fucking November or whatever. This lake is fucking cold even in summer sometimes lmao. Like, I’ve spent so many hours right in that spot... cos well, I used to live right up the road so duh. Of course now that I don’t live there now and it was winter so why would I take my dog swimming, that they decide to film there. OF COURSE.

Speaking of filming, not that anyone cares, they were at the St Lawrence Market at one point. It was so obvious. Wasn’t really paying attention to any of the other locales tbh. If I watch again and pay attention I prolly could pick out a few more but honestly the only person that entertains is myself.

I still can’t believe Serena was being reborn on dogshit/dead fish beach. 

[seonfhwa]

you said no one asks you about your biases so klj;alkdjfs here I am because also love when people talk about their biases!!! name your top five biases luna and why they are your biases

oh my god mini you’re enabling me ehrbjhgbek okay here we go look away folks this is gonna get annoying

edit: so i went back and slapped everything under the cut because oh my god i kept talking im so annoying

1. cha hakyeon/n of vixx

this man hits everything i love about a human being. he’s very motherly and very open about such things, he’s a true sassy diva who always wants the attention on him (i don’t blame him), he has a really big heart and always does things like donating to charity and the like, he has seen SO MANY ups and downs since vixx debuted in 2011 and honestly?? he deserves the world. he’s a really hard working leader who goes to all of his members solo activities to cheer them on and make sure they know he’s there supporting them. i have never seen anyone as beautiful and ethereal as cha hakyeon in my entire life. he’d be a wonderful dad, a perfect husband, and a caring friend. he’s loving, kind, and affectionate, and he’s the sweetest bean. though he gets bullied the most by everyone else. honestly, too, i know we don’t really know most idols’ sexuality but cha hakyeon imo is one of the strongest icons in terms of exploring sexuality and shattering gender expectations and i can’t wait for him to slay some more when he gets out of the military. also?? dancing king?? like pls stomp on me i love you. literally he’s just… his duality… he’s so soft and gentle as hakyeon but as n, he’s a fiery demon ready to go. either way he’s my number one and he will always be my number one and nothing will ever change that.

2. no minwoo of boyfriend

so honestly, boyfriend really is my #1 group ever, but with the lack of content for the past year or so (after star they disappeared again into japan) it’s been really hard :(( so lack of content causes me to ult different groups during hard times but!! yeah. minwoo is my tsundere baby, my maknae on top, my bratty baby boy. he’s the quiet one of boyfriend who kinda just wants to kill everyone and he’s donghyun’s Baby and no one (not even jeongmin) can touch him hejhegbre he’s honestly one of my biggest sources of sunshine. he’s honestly where my type started (dancer rapper) and i love him!! so much. he’s a talented little bean, who’s super great with what’s given to him and his dancing is no joke!! i hope he can capitalize on that one day. also!! he’s a part of 95 line (jo twins, him, ricky of teen top, sungjae of btob, hyuk of vixx, and i think a couple others idk) and i literally love that friend group so much ;;;; minwoo is honestly the #1 prettiest baby boy ever, he’s got so much love pent up inside of him but being the bratty tsun introvert he is, he doesn’t know how to show it so he just hbjehbrgj suffers. but that’s why he has mama donghyun to take care of him, idk man starship is just shitting on the talent they have, pls let boyfriend out of the korean basement.

3. song mingi of ateez (duh) putting my own gif of mingi bc its my fave gif

and here she goes, gonna rant and rave forever. okay so mingi, right? you all probably already know this but he’s literally the biggest and best source of sunshine and happiness in the whole wide world. literally when i first got into ateez i was like hongjoong!! he’s my bias!! and then idk what happened i accidentally floated around for so long and it wasn’t long after say my name that i was officially attacked by mingi and i claimed him, he is my sunshine and my everything. i really thought seonghwa would end up my bias if not hongjoong but then mingi came around with his full-body laugh. i honestly figured out mingi was my bias when i was making my original blog and i was like?? softmingis?? that works!! rather than any other url (though idk i did try a couple of san urls). ever since i solidified mingi as my bias, i’ve found countless things about him that i love. his seal claps when he tosses his whole body as he laughs, his deep af voice, how th*cc he is, the way he interacts with all of the members– honestly i love this whole big baby boy with every fiber of my being. one day i wanna hold his hand and see his smile and (it wont happen ever but) give him just a lil smoochie on the cheek. honestly, he’s just ;;; so perfect. he may be a year younger than me but idc he’s the most lovely human bean i’ve ever seen ;;;; i wanna give him the world.

4. kim hosung/lou of vav

listen it took me a while to get here and it’s a struggle to stay here as a lou biased bean (yes ace i’m looking at you) but honestly ;;; i’m kinda sorta maybe in l*ve with this man. he’s a whole softie even though normally i’d look at someone like him and go “wow he looks really intimidating” but like?? he’s a big softie! like he’s all tall and deep voiced but he’s (another) introverted bubs. he’s all mysterious tbh like he’s so boring he wears all black and white and gray clothing if he’s not in stage outfits ekrhbejgh but he’s like!! a cutie. he loves his girl group dances and he can be super quiet at times and really grumpy but like?? he’s so handsome. he’s a confident chaotic gay and we love our very own confident gays. idk man he’s literally so gorgeous just look at that gif up there– okay not to mention he’s such a salty guy like never tell him someone else is your bias he’ll be all pouty pouty grumble grumble. really he needs to be babied but he’s probably the best boyfriend material he’d be so sweet ;;;; idk man like?? i honestly think about him every night he deserves the world and he may not be the most loud and obnoxious person in vav (that’s ziu) but he’s the most charming and i love him to death ;;;

5. kim jaejoong of jyj

other than gd of big bang, i think?? jaejoong is my longest-running bias. he’s had my heart and soul for so long. other than being the king of japan while sm still has him under dumb laws, he’s done so much for me as a human being. he’s really shaped how i look at the world, truly. i remember there was a fansign he had where a blind girl came to him and said that she loved him, not for his looks (although he is gorgeous) but for his music, his lyrics, and his voice. and honestly watching him go through so much over the years, watching him be shaped by all good and bad things, has made me so happy. he’s grown as a person, he’s learned from mistakes and he’s had to walk down rough roads to get to where he is now. honestly someone asked me recently who my role model is and i think?? after some honest thinking? i’d have to say it’s him. i look up to him. i admire him, everything he’s done for everyone in his life and for himself. he’s a strong man. i love him, and i want to give him everything i can, even though i can hardly even provide for myself. he can be a grumpy old man at times but i think that’s just the relatable shit, you know? he’s a grumpy old man while a heart of gold and i owe him my life, especially because 5 or 6 years ago i was in a really bad slump and it was him, his music, that pulled me out of it.

okay so now that i’ve talked so much and took so long to answer this… the end! literally there are so many more people i could ramble about but those were the top 5 that came to mind who are always super prominent in my head like… aLWAYS 

also if you read all of this… you guys are insane idk how you did it.

[anytaintedcreature]

Fanfic ask meme: 13, 17 (heh), 18, 21 (I need author recs!), 24, 33, 41, 44, 47 ("Serena Alone"), 48, 50. Any or all, dealer's choice.

YAY

13. Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Hmm...this one is hard because I think it's not so much one particular person than it is the characters that only show up maybe once or twice. Those are the scenes I positively labor over for days, when it's a voice I've never used and probably won't again. Like for example, I've been fighting through a scene with Grand Master Pang, I keep skipping it (because the boys just call to me) and I have to get it done soon, but. Those super minor characters are the ones that throw me.

17. Post a line from a WIP you're working on.

Since you enjoyed giggles in the last chapter, here’s some lighthearted fun.

“What’s that face for?”

Rowan realized too late he’d plastered on what had to be a dopey sort of grin. “Nothing. It’s just, you know. Sneaking around, hoods up, it’s like when we first met.”

The corners of Erik’s mouth twitched upwards. “Yeah, only I think I could do without shouts of ‘Darkspawn’ and being shot at by crossbows and magic.”

((I’ll put the rest under a cut, to spare those who don’t care. There may or may not be another snippet under here, though. ))

18. Do you have any abandoned WIPs? What made you abandon them?

I do not, actually. I've really only started writing fanfic in the past year and haven't started anything that won't be finished. And I'd rather be struck from the earth itself than abandon my original work, so that will happen one day, whether the world wants it or not.

21. Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Well my bud, my homie, I cannot answer this one honestly without saying you. Because your writing absolutely slays me and I aspire to hone my craft as fantastically as you have, and you have so much more going on in life than I do that the amount of writing you manage to put out for all eight of us and that shoelace astounds me. Like, you’ve got a job you love and a family and all that jazz and still find some time to write about the things you love, that’s the dream right there and I admire the hell out of you for it.

In other news, two of my favorite Dragon Age writers are loquaciousquark and jawsandbones, but it's mostly fenhawke, which may not be to your particular taste, but damn they are fantastic. I also keep up with laurelsofhighever's The Falcon and the Rose, which is Alistair/Cousland - again, idk if that's your cup of tea but we should totally chat about the rest of Dragon Age because we haven't yet. A travesty.

24. How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Oh, man. Well. I've never written anything more than like, implied smut. I feel like my kiss scenes alone need some work (although I'm rather proud of one I just wrote recently, completely unrelated to anything, luminerik who I don't go here) and I just don't know that I'd be any good at writing actual, explicit smut, honestly. It'd probably be stilted and weird and I'd quietly slip into the nearest crack in the floor.

33. What's the biggest compliment you've gotten?

God, like I don't cry at least a little over every single comment. I don't know, someone told me yesterday I inspired them which like, hit me in the gut forty different times. Also someone told me a while ago that my prose was exquisite which meant the whole entire world, the fucking universe, to me because I was just starting out with this fic and just didn't really know if it was any good.

I cry over every compliment on my writing because it is something I so desperately want to be good at, because it feeds my soul and knowing that any bit of it has a positive effect on anyone just stuns me.

That got sappy AF so next

41. What's your favorite minor character you've ever written?

Better be this asshole

Honestly I just love his voice and his manner of speaking and finding a way to bring him back around to some manner of light has been a joy added to my life.

44. What is the last line you wrote?

“You have one hour,” Erik shoved his sleeve up. He unhooked the timepiece from around his wrist, before strapping it to Rowan’s. “One hour, and if you don’t come back, I swear to Yggdrasil I will find a way to drag you out of there myself.”

47. Here's a fic title - 'Serena Alone', what would this story be about?

May I interest you in a warm dish of angst, fresh from the oven: a collection of scenes following Serena's lost moments in Act II, juxtaposed with sweet childhood memories, up until the big Grove of Repose reveal, except PLOT TWIST its all told from the POV of Veronica's ghost, who watches her twin face the world alone, (because she couldn't go back to Yggdrasil while it was not there, correct?) Until the tree is restored and Veronica can find peace knowing Serena has found her inner strength and has found a way to go on alone.

48. What's your favorite trope to write? 

Is angst a trope? PINING, then. God, I love writing two dorks in love and then keeping them apart for reasons while they just lament.

50. If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I mean, you all know. It'd be angst, because that's what I love and it comes more naturally to me, but it would be quite hollow without the payoff fluff in the aftermath, because I'm a big fan of breaking it to put it back together and without fluff, angst is just...bitter. But hey, if that's all I had, you can bet I'd write some bitter shit and have a grand old time. 

thanks for indulging me with these trash questions I love it

[lhugbereth]

FFXV Favorites Meme

Thanks @agi92 for sharing this one!

instructions:

To celebrate a year of FFXV and the end of the first year of updates, let’s spread the FFXV love! I haven’t seen a tag meme like this for FFXV yet, so I decided to make one. If you see this and want to, copy/paste this list and share what your favorite things about FFXV are.

Favorite Chocobro: Prompto! He’s so dynamic and fun to write. He’s soft on the outside but tough on the inside, a little bit of fluff and angst and sunshine all rolled up into one. He’s also creative and dorky, and spazztastic, and if I could spend a day hanging out with any of the bros it would definitely be Prom! (Hell, I would give a limp for the chance to hang out with Robbie Daymond ;3; AH) Iggy is a close second, and Gladio and Noct very very close thirds. I love them all. 

Favorite Guest Party Member (including Ravus and Libertus from DLC): Hmmm kinda tough. I LOVE Libertus, so so much. But also Iris because she is a pure ball of cute cuddles. Honestly, I’m going to have to go with Iris, because who else beats enemies with giant moogle dolls and still manages to look bad-ass xD

Favorite Minor Character(s): DAMN this is tough. TALCOTT. Sania! DAVE!! DIIINNOOOOO!!!! I can’t choose. 

Favorite Villain: Oh, no contest here. Ardyn muthafuckin Izunia. I love this bitch. I named my cat after him. He may just be my favorite villain in video game history, because he’s crazy hot and crazy creepy - and just plain crazy, too. No one else oozes demon juice and still looks fuckable like this man does. 

(Did...I just say that? I’m sorry, I must be drunk. Blame the eggnog. AHEM) 

Favorite Kingsglaive Character: Libertus, actually. I adore Nyx, but something about Lib really tugs at my heart strings. First time I watched the movie, his facial expressions alone were enough to make me cry. I also love Luna in Kingsglaive <3

Favorite Astral/Divine Being: Mmm, Ifrit. And not just because he’s hot (pun intended) but because he’s probably the most human of the Astrals. Flawed, fallen from grace. Vengeful. Plus he’s basically Ardyn’s pet so. That’s a bonus. 

Favorite Character Overall: Fuck. Um. Prompto. Yeah, Prompto, but like. Ardyn is way way up there. So is Ignis. 

Favorite Weapon: I default daggers for Noctis, because I like speed characters. In Comrades, I’m a fan of the shuriken (especially imbued with lightning yes gimme that zappy shit), but overall I have to say Nyx’s Kukris are the coolest weapoin the game. Mostly because they are so BALLS HARD to get. 

Favorite Location: Old Lestallum! I love Kenny Crow OvO

Favorite Quest/Questline/Hunt: I LOVE getting the gems for Dino, because the boys are always so snarky about it. My favorite hunt is the one for the Giant Cactuars xD 

Favorite Boss: The Zu at Ravatogh, that thing is badass and creepy af. (As a side note, my LEAST favorite boss/hunt is the GODDAMNED Demonwall in Costlemark!!! I still haven’t beaten that thing *lays down and cries*)

Favorite Monster/Monster Family/etc: Spiracorns, maybe, or the sahagin. I think the monster designs are sooooo gorgeous, the detail slays me errtime. 

Favorite Song: Definitely the battle music for the final boss fight >> THIS ONE << It’s a gorgeous, chilling arrangement that perfectly combines Noct’s and Ardyn’s theme songs <3  

Favorite Boss Theme: (See above?)

Favorite Non-Episode DLC/Update/Event: Hm.... ChocoMog carnival, it was such a happy, carefree event *wipes tear* 

Favorite Episode DLC: E.P.I.S.O.D.E.I.G.N.I.S. WHAT KIND OF A QUESTI --- 

Other Favorites of Note: So, so much! Noctis dorking out over fishing. The random conversations between the bros while you run around the map. Chocobo racing. The off-road Regalia (and crashing into shit). The battle system. THE STORY. Ignis’ recipehs. SELFIES EVERYWHERE. 

But perhaps most of all, my favorite thing about FFXV is that I’m still enjoying playing it even a year after its release! With New Game+ and all the DLC, there’s still so much happening, and I can’t wait for all the stuff coming up in 2018 :) Thanks, guys, for sharing this awesome experience with me <3

Tagging everyone!! Don’t be shy!

[ourdallasvideofestthings]

Bart Chat 5/4/2020

Well, we made it to May. I sincerely hope you’re well and wearing your mask when you go out.

As you might imagine there are no film festivals in Dallas this week. Last night, I did go to a drive in movie in Richardson. Reid Robinson, who has a bar called Brizo, has been doing these drive-in CarBarets—a film with a few live acts.  You can purchase food, enjoy a film and stay safe. I had a wonderful time. Go to Brizo on Facebook for more info.

I was trying to think about what we could do here at the VideoFest during these times and I came up with something that will start next week. I don’t have a good name for it at the moment but my working title is, Cinematic Conversations.  The idea is we ask you to watch a film on Netflix or Amazon or some other service at your leisure, and we will have a zoom chat that I moderate online. I’m still trying to think of what night to do this, so I will give you more info next week. The first film will be … The Conversation, the classic film FFC made between the Two Godfathers, which you can find on Amazon Prime Video for free if you have Prime. 

So, your homework is to watch the film and next week I will have a zoom invite for you all, so we can have a nice chat.

This is a different version of something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I had this idea of doing video book clubs for Blockbuster (yes, that long ago) to put together films on the shelf, like French New Wave or the films of Capra. We’d supply a piece of writing to go along with the film, somewhere between scholarly research and newspaper reviews, with questions for the leader of the group to ask. Well, we never did this but now, we can have a virtual film club and you don’t have to feel ashamed if you didn’t read the book—you just have to watch the film.

There are theaters in the DFW area that are open, but they are drive-in with drive-in style films. If you are hungering for that experience, you can go to the Galaxy Drive-In in Ennis, The Coyote Drive-In in Fort Worth, and finally the Brazos Drive-In in Granbury.   

Many of the theaters we love are streaming films. Their prices are a bit high for streaming, but they’re in-line with what it would have cost to see them in theaters and hey, you can make your own popcorn for cheap. I was wondering how much people would be willing to pay for a streamed film, so I asked that question on a Facebook post and the responses were fascinating. Yeah, I know Facebook is for old people. Well, I am sixty-six.

Anyway, here are some of my picks for streaming new cinema in your home.  Through the Angelika you can see The Booksellers, I, Claude Monet, Fantastic Fungi, Beyond the Visible: Hilma af Klint, Bacurau, Saint Francis, Once Were Brothers, Deerskin, The Roads Not Taken and Slay the Dragon (a great film about gerrymandering). Of those, I would go for Slay the Dragon, Bacurau (I love this film) and Fantastic Fungi.

Streaming at The Texas Theater site is Satantango by Bela Tarr (if you pay extra, you can see David Lowery talk about how this film influenced him) and Bull by Texan Annie Silverstein. They are also showing Relaxer, which I am not a big fan of, but this is a double feature with The Alchemist Cookbook, which I like better.

The Studio Movie Grill has some great films streaming: The Woman who Loves Giraffes, The Etruscan Smile, The Times of Bill Cunningham, Dearskin, BIT, The Booksellers, The Perfect Nanny and two films I really like, Pahokee and Capital in the 21st Century— which is an amazing film. If you’re still with me here, congrats! This is my pick of the week.  FYI, we will be talking about this film in an episode of The Fog of Truth podcast.

Have a great and safe week,

Bart