#he loves us <3 and i've only just met four but let me tell you. i love him back!!!

[gingerteaonthetardis]

The Fourth Doctor | The Ark in Space, Pt. 1

[ID: two black and white gifs of the Fourth Doctor from the first episode of the serial The Ark in Space. he stands in the cryogenic chamber of the ark, surrounded by humans suspended in clear sleeping pods, with the camera looking slightly down at him. in the first gif, his arms are raised as he pronounces, "Homo sapiens!" in the second, he turns more to look around him, saying, "What an inventive, invincible species." /end ID]

[7seas-of-ryy]

Crestfallen - Part 3

Author’s Note: I made up a lot of sicknesses/random things that have never been mentioned throughout the actual ACOTAR series! The breaks in text are going back and forth between the two rooms.

Overall Summary: Although you were born in the Day Court, you've been living in the Night Court for a century. You're close with the inner circle but what will happen when a new healer is brought into the picture?

Part 3 Summary: Clara has been found out, but what has she done to you?

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: talks of injuries

"I'm sure I have no idea what you mean." Clara said softly, a small confused smile on her lips.

"When I asked you to help her, you said "I didn't do this one." What does that mean." Nesta snarled at the young healer.

Mor seemed deep in thought, Azriel and Cassian were equally confused, and Nesta seemed ready to pounce.

"Now that you mention it, I do remember hearing her say that." Mor spoke up.

"You better tell us what's up right now." Cassian growled.

At this point, Clara's smile faultered. She looked around for a way out but noticed the four of them had her surrounded and they wouldn't stop until they knew the truth. She may be evil but she wasn't dumb.

"It wasn't even that bad." The healer confessed.

"What have you done?" Azriel questioned, his voice deadly calm.

------

Madja had seen cases like yours before but never this bad. The cut on your back had traces of venom in it. A rare venom that used the victim's power against them.

She needed to extract every last ounce of it that was in your system but it was trickier than it sounded. If she took too much too fast, it could essentially tear your powers from your very being which would kill you.

"I need you to enter her mind. Once you are in, I will start to remove the poison from her system, you just need to let me know if her mind starts fading." Madja explained to Rhys.

"Are you sure this will work?" Rhys asked.

"Of course I am, boy. Now do as I say." She said quickly.

Rhys tried to enter your mind but all he could see was blinding light. There was no where for him to enter, it was almost as if the light was burning him. He pulled away, never feeling anything like it before.

"I can't get in, her light, it burns me." He explained to the healer.

"Listen to me. It might burn a bit but you will be fine. On the other hand, if we don't fix her right now her light will continue to burn brighter until it has consumed her. Perhaps we could get the shadowsinger in here to help." Madja told Rhys, hoping Azriel's shadows could help.

Rhys immediately spoke to Az through his mind and he appeared within seconds.

"What can I help with?" He rushed out his question.

"I cannot enter her mind, it is too bright, painfully so. Could you somehow use your shadows to help me get through?" Rhys explained the situation.

"I can try." Az responded.

------

Cassian looked towards where Azriel just stood, knowing he went to help you.

"I have no clue what's wrong with Y/N, honest. I swear I didn't think it would go this far." Clara pleaded with the group.

"You better start explaining before I unleash Nesta upon you." Cassian threatened.

Nesta had been eerily still, like a predator hunting her prey. Clara was visibly scared. Her hands were shaking, terrified of what Nesta would do to her.

"Ok listen. I've had a huge crush on Azriel for years now, so when I saw you guys needed another healer I took that as my opportunity." The "healer" explained.

"We've only known you for 2 weeks, how could you have a crush on him for years?" Mor asked.

"Everyone knows Azriel, the mighty shadowsinger, the feared spymaster of the Night Court. Well...when I met him all he wanted to talk about was Y/N. About how much I'd love her personality, how she's so great," Clara went on, "so I was a little jealous of her."

By this point, Mor was dissappointed she didn't believe you. She assumed you were exhausted from your mission and the guilt she felt was awful.

"When she showed up to my shop I got angry that she was back so soon. Rhys wanted me to do a check up on her and all I saw was a tiny cut on her back so I thought she'd be fine and I just wanted her to leave." She continued to explain.

Nesta was fuming by this point. Not only because of what she did to her friend but also because she didn't see through Clara sooner.

"Wait wait wait, all this is happening to Y/N because you're jealous of her? What kind of vile creature are you?" Cassian seathed.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen-" She began to plead when Azriel appeared in the room again.

------

Rhys re-entered your mind, this time with Azriel's shadows being a protective barrier around him. It was way easier this time but he wasn't sure how long Az could hold it.

"Alright, start." Rhys told Madja.

The healer began her work. Unweaving the venom from your powers, from your soul. She was about halfway through when Rhys called out.

"STOP! I can feel her fading!" Rhys was panting, he was exerting all his energy.

Madja pulled out, confusion taking over.

"This doesn't make sense. It's as if another energy is pulling her powers. Like an untouched ball of energy using up the rest of her." She explained.

"What do we do?" Azriel questioned.

"It needs another energy form to pull from..." She started.

"My shadows." He whispered.

Before anyone could stop him he sent them out to you and that little ball inside of you immediately began to absorb them. He screamed out in pain and Rhys and Madja quickly began to work.

It took only a few moments more for Madja to finish yet it felt like an eternity for the two males. It had been way easier now that Az was distracting whatever it was inside of you. The venom was successfully extracted and the room was eerily quiet. Rhys and Az both fell back, feeling drained from using their powers in such a way.

"Why isn't she waking up?" The shadowsinger whispered, making his way toward you.

"It must have to do with whatever is deep inside her. I need to do a full body work up on her to see what is going on." She spoke and started right away.

Az felt a tear slide down his cheek and quickly brushed it away. The High Lord stayed back to give you space to be checked out but he felt the same as the male next to him, worried and hopeless.

It felt like an eternity when Madja spoke up again.

"There is a substance inside her nose. Almost like a powder but I haven't seen it before. I'll have to take it back with me to break the molecules down. I'm afraid Y/N will have to stay in this state for now." She told the two males.

Azriel's head shot toward Madja at her words.

"Wait, did you say a powder was in her nose?" He muttered.

She just nodded her head in response, holding up the sample she collected. Your words from earlier popped into his head.

"Y/N told me 'she blew some powder in my face which caused everything'." Azriel stated coldly and winnowed away.

------

The shadowsinger appeared in front of Clara, his shadows surrounding her and pinning her against the wall. She shrieked in either pain or fear but he didn't care. You were in danger and he would stop at nothing to help you.

"What did you blow in Y/N's face?" He demanded.

"What?!" She feigned innocence.

Azriel held up the vial of powder close to her face. His shadows squeezed tighter around her frame.

"It's nothing serious," She weezed out, "It's a mix of vamire, spitfire aconite, and root of igranium. All it's supposed to do is heighten the pain/sickness they already have. I had an antidote that I gave her. It's in my bag."

Mor quickly grabbed the bag from the female, searching for both the powder and the antidote. She handed them both to Az.

"And why would you posion her just to give her an antidote?" Cass asked.

"I wanted to impress Azriel." She whimpered looking down.

"What's in the antidote?" Az shouted at her making her flinch.

"A..Adlirin and G..G..Green Gilliflower." She sputtered in terror.

The shadows left along with their master and she fell to the floor.

------

"Both of these are in her system," Az spoke holding the vials, "Vamire, Spitfire Aconite, Root of Igranium, Aldirin, and Green Gilliflower."

Madja's eyes grew wide and a bad feeling shot through both Az and Rhys at her reaction.

"This isn't good." She said, looking over your unconscious form.

Taglist

@rcarbo1 @acourtofbatboydreams @bravo-delta-eccho @tele86 @theravenphoenix26

@anoneyesee @ren-ni @kabekusa @isa1b2h3 @i-am-infinite

@historygeekqueen @mariahoedt @fr0stf4ll

[yawnderu]

Heaven only gives you the chance to say the right thing once. Simon never once used his— not when he was tortured, not when he rescued hostages, not when he was the judge in front of an executioner— no, he saved those words for the moment he was holding his beloved's hands in his, looking down at her with tears threatening to escape his eyes.

''I've been alive for 11315 days, and I can tell you this is the happiest one so far.'' He offers you a small smile as he squeezes your hands gently, eyes glossier as he feels you squeeze back.

''Never in my life I considered the chance of romance. Never dated, never even thought about what having a girlfriend was like. My duty was to protect my country and my family, never letting anything distract me— until I met you.'' His hand goes up to wipe a stray tear falling down your cheek, looking down at your beautiful face before he went back to hold your hands. He ignores the whistles and cheers from his mates, though the smile on his lips is clear.

''You somehow broke down all my barriers. You took the time to get to know me, never once doing anything that was out of my comfort zone. You learnt my body language, how to talk to me, how to get close, and before I knew it, I was planning our future in my head.'' A small chuckle escapes his lips, looking slightly embarrassed to be confessing this in front of his mates.

''You were the reason I was extra careful in missions, more so than I've ever been, because I never wanted you to open the door just to find the old man holding my dog tags.'' He looks back at Price, who looks just like a proud father and gives him an encouraging smile.

''Thank you for bearing with me even when I was difficult. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me and thank you for showing me what love is. With you, I learned that home isn't just four walls; home is a tent in the middle of the woods, home is a cup of tea after a long day, home is being held in your arms when I need it the most— home is anywhere you're at.'' Simon sniffled, trying his best to hold back tears despite the way your figure was getting blurrier by the second.

''You showed me love, patience, care, and never once complained about me being difficult. I know I never told you, but I fell in love with you ever since I first saw you. I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind until I was unable to hide them any longer, and I know that if I ever did something right, it was falling in love with you.'' A single tear rolled down his cheek and he let it. There wasn't any shame on crying in front of you or his mates.

''I, Simon Riley, swear to protect you with everything I have. To be loyal, caring, faithful, honest, respectful, and kind. I promise I'll always be there for you. To listen to you, to make you laugh with my great jokes.'' Your giggle interrupted him, brown eyes shining with pure love.

''To cry with, to laugh with, to celebrate with. I make these promises in front of our loved ones, and I will keep them for as long as I live.'' He smiled down at you, leaning in for a kiss before realizing that he couldn't kiss you until the priest finished the ceremony. Instead, he leaned his forehead against yours, the look in his eyes telling you he will keep those promises forever.

A/N: little wedding fic I owed @connorsui , thank you for always supporting my content, your reblogs are always so much fun to read<3 and thank you so much to everyone, we made it to 3.5k a bit after I reached 3k<333

I'll start answering the asks I have pending!!<33

[liaswills]

Pick a card: Does your crush like you back?

Today we are asking 4 seperate energies what they think of you! It's important to know that any pick a card's are general energies and some messages are resonant to your crush and others might just be for other people. Generally this is my first pick a card on Tumblr but I've been in the tarot community for longer than today, since 2017 I read tarot.

Disclaimer: I haven't used any tarot cards for this reading, ironically. I'm channelling the messages instead.

Take a moment, I understand crushes on anyone can be mind whirling and obsessive at times. But well I'm here to feed your obsession, aren't I? I will take the opportunity to channel their messages so every reply is written in the voice of your crush (general) and I'll give all four groups some extra information too!

Pick one of these four sentences from my favourite tommy shelby quotes!

1. "Why not?" — Thomas Shelby

2. "Do I look like a man who wants a simple life?" — Thomas Shelby

3. “We used to come here; she’d wait for hours for me when I couldn’t make it. And I’d wait for her if her family kept her in.” — Thomas Shelby

4. “A man needs to prove he is better than me, rather than show me his birth certificate.” — Thomas Shelby

All readings are channelled letters from your crush s/o. Hope you enjoy these and follow my account for more tarot posts!

Pile 1: "Why not?"

First of all this is a person that thinks softly of you. They have kind eyes, might be more of an effeminate person. May have a beard, or look like a gentle giant. I'm also getting blonde/brown hair or shoulder length blonde hair. They have dazzling eyes.

My darling,

I have never called you that before. But why not, eh? Or maybe I do enjoy calling you that in my mind. You are like a fond thought my mind wanders to when I am sitting in the train or my car. Or when I walk or am riding my bike. I think of you softly. I'm secretly afraid, that whilst I think of you softly, you don't think of me that way. I might just be a hopeless fool thinking you'd be interested in myself. Or perhaps I am not a fool?

I kind of want to do fun things together. Take it slow. There are some people I think of. Some other people that might be interesting to me as well. I know you didn't expect to hear that but I'm sometimes too stuck in my daydreams that I wished I was anyone's person. I just want to think of love. I like to imagine my closest friends think me an idiot everytime I say I met someone because how could they not? I sort of just 'love' being in love, right there, in my head.

Telling you how I feel makes me question whether it's worth it. Should I take that step to ask you how you're doing? To ask you whether you'd like to walk with me? Get an icecream? I don't know how to date to be honest. I read often, I just thought that thinking of you in my mind would be easier than thinking of you and I actually going someplace to do fun things together.

I specically like your legs, your smile, your hair. I think you look like my dream person. I may not smile in person, or I may not say these things in person, or I may not even let you know how HOT I think you are but you really are my type. I just don't know whether you'd think of me as 'your' type.

Sometimes I fantasize too much. I think it all out. Us, together, marriage, maybe even normal things like grocery shopping together or finding out what kind of candy you eat or don't eat. I kind of want to know how you live your life. I really admire how you come off to me as a person and I just think that we could 'be' something. If only my mind wasn't so easy to wander to other scenario's and people and friends who could possibly become my person too.

If you like me, just tell me. Right now. I beg of you. It would make my day. It would be recipocrated, I already have chosen you in my heart but I can't keep my mind collected. I can't stop thinking about work or about how busy I actually am when in truth, I just want to get to know you better.

Don't be sad. I don't want you to be sad. Was I an asshole? I never meant to be one. Trust me.

Do you trust me?

Yours Forever,

Your hopeless romantic

Pile 2: "Do I look like a man who wants a simple life?"

This is someone who has dark features. Might have brown hair. They come off as someone who has dazzling green/hazel or brown eyes. They are HANDSOME. You think of them in a handsome light. Their dress style might enchant you daily. Everytime you receive pictures of them or see them you might just think highly of their aesthetic. They're giving stronger masculine vibes or someone who has a dominant personality.

Babes,

Look I never meant to fall for you. I think my guides never saw 'me' falling for you. But I did. I was thrown into this abyss of feelings that I had long forgotten or long thought I could not feel anymore. I keep being disappointed in life but you have never disappointed me. I like that. I like that about you.

You and I talk or we don't. It's like that. I know it is. Because I keep you far away from me when I need time to make a decision. When I need to fix my shit. When I need to fix my issues. I have many of them. I don't need an angel like you to come into that mess. I don't want you to see a mess or see me as a mess. I need you to understand that I'm getting better. Really, I am. I thought I told you that, before, didn't I?

My life can never be just us. It's everything. It's mostly my family, my job, my friends. It's everything. I am always at the center of it and sometimes that makes me anxious. My friends drag me into shit you may not like. I might hurt your ideas about me when I do stuff like that, or I might be repugnant but it's just who I am, all right?

I can't be with someone who will hold me back. I am not saying you do this, but I hope that you will understand I don't really know how to be in a relationship that isn't going to end in destruction so I will put this lightly: don't give me the steer. I need you to say what you need to say and be as expressive as possible to keep me there with you. Maybe I like you, maybe I don't, I don't even know this myself.

See my guides want me to stop questioning my life. They want me to stop being such a fuck, maybe I do too. When I talk to you or when I think of you, I think of what of a redemption arc that would be for me? I know that sounds weird, but I think of how I could do 'right' by you.

So, technically, no, I don't want you to crush on me because I would not deserve you. But I also want you to be with me because I want to have you. Does that make me an asshole? I suppose it does.

Look, I know how to get you on your knees. I know how to kiss you, I'm experienced, I know. I know where to push your button, what to flirt, what to say, I do this naturally. It's like god gave me one gift and it's flirting without actually intending to flirt.

I get in a lot of trouble for that.

Like you for instance. You're my trouble. You're my death. You are the one person I can't get off my mind and it bothers me because I can't come forward to you and give you this sorry excuse of a person that I am right now. I really can't. Will you forgive me for not saying anything? If you ask me about my feelings, my love, I will most likely just ignore it or just be rude. I know, I can't have you.

You do NOT deserve me. I'm so sorry. I don't want you to want me, yet I do. Yet I thrive on it. Yet I am so sick that I would get off on it. I want you to want me, it's a game, alright? It's a game. I thrive on the thrill. I thrive on chasing. I thrive on flirting. This is a mad world and you're making it worse.

If you'd give me a chance, if by some miracle you'd be able to tame the fucktard that I am, would you be able to put up with my non-commital energy? Would you? See, you don't want this. I know you do.

My guides don't want this for you.

I'm sorry,

Your idiot.

Pile 3: “We used to come here; she’d wait for hours for me when I couldn’t make it. And I’d wait for her if her family kept her in.”

Your person is very feminine. I see someone who is shy, gives off introverted vibes or might just be a person who doesn't express what's going on with them all the time. They have a hard time texting others first, they might wait on texts instead. I feel like they are someone who thinks fondly of you.

Mr/Mrs *insert your name*,

I didn't know it could feel like this. Ha, who would've thought that, ME of all people would like you like some childish crush, though, the child in me still dreams of my shining knight. Are you that person? My shining hero, you might think I read too much fantasy novels or that I'm too obsessed with that one band, haha, I know, I am. I may talk too much about my one interest because It's all I think of. It's where I want to be, want to dream of, it's where my mind wanders and what keeps me occupied. I know you're not like that, or maybe you are, but you don't show it that easily.

I do like you. There, I said it. I want to be polite. I want to court you properly, when I do gather the courage to actually do that. I feel like somehow you might be the one person for me. Therefore, I find you irresistable. Because of that connection between us. We might already be friends, or well, we hang around one another, but I think you and I could be something more.

It had to be you. It just had to be you. That's what Barbra Streisand sings in the song "It had to be you" with Michael Bublé. I am on a cloud. Because I dream too much, I might seem like I am zoning out at times. That's what you do to me. You make me zone out and dream of many things. Sometimes my mind wanders back to those idols though, haha, or my favourite celebrities or games or book characters. But it mostly is you.

I would like to tell you how you inspire me. I am not an artistic person, but if I was, I would draw you. I would paint you. I would want to paint your soul. Does that sound too weird? Probably. See, when I think of you, I think of how you would be the most perfect thing to be laying beside me. To be holding hands with as we walk through an autumn world forest, to get a hot drink with in the cold winter, to meet up with for lunch or dinner. I think of you kindly, admiring and I hope you don't think I'm coming off too strongly on you because yes, I recipocrate this crush you have on me.

Even if you're not sure if you crush on me, I would not mind. Technically, I'm yours. I want to be yours. I might not be too responsible sometimes, I might not take the lead in things but I promise you that I can do that if you allowed me the time to adjust to you, to being around you, and not just you in my head.

I could ramble on and on about you in my head. I don't have many friends and the people I talk to I do mention you. Sometimes when I see something that reminds me of you, like something I see in a store window and I am like, you would like that shit, I'm almost tempted to buy it as a gift. I like gift giving. But I am bad with receiving it. I would really like if we could give each other book or song recommendations, maybe exchange poems. I secretly would give you a poem that explains my feelings for you, not going to lie about that.

Yeah, that's what it is. I sometimes feel like I have no appetite. I don't want to eat when I think of you. I can't get my head straight some days. And then I just focus only on stories. Books. My interests. I would like to get to know your interests too. Sometimes I worry that I am not good enough for you. Or that you would not want me. It keeps me silent. Truly.

It's stupid, I know. I might not come from a good background. My family life was not something that brought me joy and that kept me in my books and my internal world. Or it was my school but I hope that you might want to be my family.

Or is that too much? I'll convince you of how great that would be. :)

Yours truly,

*insert their name*

Pile 4: “A man needs to prove he is better than me, rather than show me his birth certificate.”

This is a soft masculine energy. He comes off hard on the outside. I am getting a definite 'he' but it could also be someone that is considered a butch energy, has macho energy or a person with very masculine energy. Technically it doesn't matter but this person has a message for you and it's coming. :) They're a bit mysterious.

My Destiny.

You feel like my destiny. You know I am a religious person, I think a certain way about life that might be philosophical, it might be faith, it just is my faith. I want you to know that when you're not around, I think of you as special. The song, I am a Creep, by radiohead, you like that one don't you?

Why do I have the feeling that you're after the bad guy. That you're after someone who looks dangerous, could be dangerous and that I would be that person for you. Why do you give me those eyes? That stare? That smirk? You're playing coy but I know that you fantasize about me like I am some devil in the sheets.

I really am not. *Snort*. Truly, you'll think of me less than that. Sometimes I worry that you think of me in a way where you're making this up. About me, information just gets distorted or you make something up in your mind that doesn't truly fit my personality. I would say that I don't mind you doing this, I think it's kind off cute. I think you're cute.

Some days, I wonder what you're doing. Only some days. Like those moments when it's night, you're sitting on the couch or in the tub and I am contemplating what to do now that my phone died (I might just be addicted to my phone) and I think of you in those moments of disconnect. I can watch the moon or I can look up at the nightsky and wonder if you're my person.

I like witches. Eh, did I say that? Yep. You're like a witch to me. Not in a bad way, more like in the way that "I know my girlfirend is a witch" vibe. You are mysterious to me. Something about you that I can't pinpoint my finger on. Something mysterious. It draws me in, but at the same time I don't want to be drawn in by you.

It's a push and pull with my feelings of my heart and my body and my mind. It's like this, I don't think you fit in my ordinairy life. You should do something with someone that fits your life. We might just be dating other people or you might feel unavailable emotionally to me, which is something I can't help but only you can, truly.

Still... I do think of you softly. In the quiet moments. My mind lingers on you. You're my favourite happy place where my thoughts can wander to. My favourite thing to relax, I don't know maybe your body is too. You know how I would love to relax with you, sweaty, together and being intimate in a way that makes you blush if I would ever talk about it nonchalantly in public day light.

I'd like to take you to a restaurant. You'd like that, huh? I know, I am smug when I think I know something about you but truly, i'm just a clueless fool wanting your attention when all but nothing you're just this goddess that could ruin me if you tried.

You don't even have to try, truly. I'm already broken, that's my secret.

I don't fear breaking my heart. So, if you do want to chase this? Chase me, darling.

I am ready.

But, let me say one more thing before I end this message. That dress, those trousers, that favourite clothing item you own, the one that looks comfortable, but isn't? Ehm, yeah, I have thought about you in that exact piece and eh- shamefully have fantasies about you wearing that fucking thing. Sorry, I get carried away when it's you, I really do.

You didn't expect this, did you? I know you think me the person you'd think is your type but you might need to re-arrange your expectations about me. I will disappoint you, I know that I will, I can't do nothing right in my life, why would I do right by you?

I sound like I hate myself. Perhaps I do.

Will you love me then, honey?

You know who I am.

Thankyou for reading this pick a card! I hope the message resonates and that you're able to enjoy this little crush reveal or did not enjoy this crush disappointment. The energies were very different and some messages aren't entirely the same but take whatever resonates, not what doesn't, if your gut feeling says those words weren't from your crush or s/o then they're not.

All the love, elias.

[apolloscastellan]

From one kiss to getting married | loss of my life chapter 5

Pairing: Art Donaldson x Tashi Duncan x Patrick Zweig x FemaleTennisPlayer!reader

Summary: Your life had always been divided in two: before you met Tashi and after you met Tashi. The second you had laid eyes on her for the first time you knew you had been changed. You were soulmates, meant for each other Nothing could ever tear you two apart, or so you had thought. You could've pinpointed the junior U.S. Open as the night that changed everything. Now you have to juggle your hate-love relationship with tennis with your love-love relationship with Tashi and the two guys who you can't seem to stay away from. Tennis, after all, was only one of the most fucked up relationships of your life.

Warnings: challengers spoiler, challengers content warnings, super minor character death, terrible mother figure, use of y/n, polyamory.

Word count: 4.6K

A/N: I have to be honest i've been trying to put this one off for as long as I could because this is the end of the series. I am not ready to let these four go just yet so if you have any suggestions for scenarios in this universe(or any other) please please leave a request! Hope you like this one<3

series masterlist | prev

New Rochelle, New York. August 23, 2019:

It’s three a.m. by the time Patrick stumbles through the door. He doesn’t expect you to be awake, much less sitting on the bed, waiting for him. He really should’ve, though.

“Hey” he says, like an idiot.

“Where were you?”

He thinks about lying for a second, but he doesn’t keep any secrets from you. You don’t keep any secrets from each other. Open communication, it’s what you had agreed on. You and your mutual therapist had both agreed that it was the only way you were ever going to make it work. Patrick was just glad to have been given a chance.

“I was with Tashi” you nod, but you don’t say anything. “We had sex.”

“I assumed.”

“She asked me to throw the match so Art can win. She said he needed it.”

You look at him, expectantly.

“What did you say?”

“I said I’d do it.”

“It would break him if you beat him again right now,” he nods, slowly. “And you love him.”

“And I love him.”

“He made you cry.”

“Tashi made you cry. You still love her.”

“Yeah, but you were angry at her for years, so I think I’m entitled to be angry with Art for a little bit.”

“You don’t care, do you?” he makes his way towards the bed, crawling until he is right in front of you. “About me losing?”

“The only thing I care about is that you don’t injure yourself again and we can play in the U.S open.”

“So you don’t care that people will say that I’m a mess and you should’ve never given me a chance?

“Baby,” you say, holding his head in your hands, “you are the only one who cares about that. I love you, and I love playing with you. I don’t give a fuck if you embarrass yourself playing some stupid challenger.”

“Really?”

“Well, maybe I care a little if you embarrass yourself, but it’s because I know you, and I know you can do much better. Plus, Art will never believe he truly beat you if you don’t even try. But I don’t care about what people say, okay?”

He smiles, for the first time all night. You do too. You kiss him, trying to wash away the guilt you feel. You still haven’t told him. For a person who wears her heart on her sleeve, you are proving yourself to be very good at keeping secrets. You don’t like it. You hate keeping secrets from him.

New Rochelle, New York. August 24, 2019:

Art Donaldson: 2-6-5-40

Patrick Zweig: 6-2-5-40

The ball goes over the net, over, and over again. You look at it but you don’t see it. You can’t tell who hits it each time. You want to stand up, run away. You don’t. You sit, quietly. You fake content, fake interest. You pretend you don’t see Tashi looking at you. You pretend you don’t care if she is. Your breath catches on your throat. You feel like you’re about to throw up.

New Rochelle, New York. August 23, 2019:

You make your way to the hotel bar the second Patrick falls asleep. You need something strong, and even though you know you won’t drink, you can’t, you think maybe the atmosphere will take some of the pressure off your shoulders. You’re wrong. You don’t know what you expected to find there, but it was definitely not Art Donaldson, nursing a glass of whiskey, looking dejected. You try to turn around, run away before he sees you, but it’s too late.

“Y/n,” he says, breathless, standing up.

You should walk away. Take the elevator back to the third floor, walk into your room. You should lay beside Patrick, fall asleep, pretend this never happened. But you don’t, you walk forward until you’re standing face to face with Art. You look into each other’s eyes. Neither of you says anything. Then, he pulls a stool close to his own. You both sit down.

New Rochelle, New York. August 24, 2019:

You can feel him giving up. No one else will notice, but you know his game better than your own. You don’t know if it makes you sad, angry or proud. Maybe all of them, maybe none. There’s so much inside of you that you wonder if you are feeling anything at all. You hold your breath as he lets Art get an ace and win the set. He looks back at you. You don’t know whether he is asking for permission, or forgiveness, or both. You nod and smile softly at him anyways. You could never deny him of anything, even if you don’t know what he is asking for.

New Rochelle, New York. August 23, 2019:

“Let me buy you a drink,” he says, raising his hand to call the waiter.

You stop him with a hand on his shoulder. He looks back at you, confused.

“I can’t drink.”

“Well I shouldn’t be drinking either, I am the one with the match tomorrow. C’mon, I won’t tell your coach”

“No, Art, I can’t drink,” you say, looking at him pointedly.

He finally gets it. It stops him in his tracks. He looks at you, then down to your stomach, then back to your face, as if trying to figure out if you’re saying the truth.

“You’re… Are you…?” the question lingers, unfinished, but you know what he means, you nod. “Well, fuck. This is good news, right? Congrats”

He tries to swallow down the lump in his throat. He doesn’t understand the pit in his stomach. He smiles, but it comes out like a grimace.

“Art you can’t tell anyone, nobody knows. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

His eyebrows shoot up.

“Patrick doesn’t know?”

You shake your head and look around. You can feel the guilt settle inside you, present as it has been for the entire week.

“He has enough on his plate right now, he doesn’t need this to add to it.”

The fact that Art and Tashi have a lot to do with that goes unsaid. You both know, anyways.

New Rochelle, New York. August 24, 2019:

He wins the first two points of the next set. He looks back at you. He is doing it for you, you know. He is trying to redeem himself for what he’s about to do. It hurts you, not because you care at all about this game, or any other. But because you can’t stand the thought of him proving everyone who didn’t believe in him right. Including the woman sitting next to you and the man across the net from him. You understand why he is doing it, though, you would’ve done the same thing. At the end of the day, Patrick and you are the same, two sides of a coin, it’s what makes your relationship work after all.

New Rochelle, New York. August 23, 2019:

“Patrick and Tashi had sex tonight” he says, after a couple seconds of silence, rushing through his words.

You deserve to know, especially if you’re having Patrick’s child. He expects you to be shocked, to deny it. He even expects you to cry, or scream at him. He expects everything but the nod you give him.

“I know,” it comes out like a whisper.

“You know?”

“Yes, Art, Patrick and I don’t keep secrets from each other,” it’s a jab at him and his own relationship, but he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“And you’re ok with it?”

“Is this where you want to have this conversation?” you look around, but the bar is completely empty, even the bartender is gone.

“This is as good a place as any.”

“Then, yes, Art, I am ok with Tashi and Patrick having sex. Are you?”

He looks at you, dumbfounded. He doesn’t answer your question.

“Why the fuck are you with him?”

“Why the fuck are you with Tashi?” you throw back at him, when he doesn’t answer, you do. “Because I love him,” it’s simple, really, but Art doesn’t seem to get it.

“You deserve so much better than him.”

“I don’t know anyone better than him.”

Me, Art wants to say, I would never cheat, I would never make you quit, I would treat you so much better than he can. It isn’t true, not really. He had had his chance and he didn’t treat you any better. He hadn’t cheated, not physically at least, but he hadn’t been a great boyfriend. Maybe that’s why it bothers him so much, because you seem to be ok with Patrick not being any good, but not with him messing up. It’s his fault, he knows, he never reached out. Maybe if he had you would’ve given him a second chance. The thought does nothing but make him more angry.

“This is ridiculous,” you scoff out, your shoulders tense. “You and Tashi think you know so much. About me, about him, about relationships and each other, but it’s not true. You don’t know shit. Not even about yourselves. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so sad. You can’t even be honest with yourselves, let alone each other, and you keep pushing your insecurities onto us. Patrick would’ve never slept with Tashi if he hadn’t known I would be ok with it,” Art has never seen you this angry, but he doesn’t know what to do to stop it. “I’m tired of the both of you acting like you’re so much better than us, than him. You don’t know either of us anymore and it’s no one's fault but yours, so learn to live with it. I’m done with you two, so, unless you are going to learn to deal with whatever internal shit you have going on, leave us alone”

“Y/n…”

“Good luck tomorrow, Art. Good night,” you turn around, not allowing him to say anything else.

Patrick is still asleep when you make it back to your room. He is sprawled all over the bed. You lay on his chest and let his arms engulf you. You let his heartbeat and soft breathing lure you to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

New Rochelle, New York. August 24, 2019:

This is it, you tell yourself as Patrick serves straight to the net twice in a row. You shake your head. You almost don’t want to look. You want to reach over and squeeze Tashi’s hand like you did whenever you watched a movie that was slightly too scary for you, but you can’t. You haven’t been allowed to seek comfort from her in that way in a long time. It’s match point, you realize only as the umpire calls it. You look at Patrick, and although you try to keep the sadness off your face, you’re not sure you do a good job. He smiles sadly at you and you nod. He looks at Tashi, you can feel the wheels turning in his head. You’re not sure why, but you have a feeling he is about to do something stupid. You feel Tashi squirm next to you, she is just as nervous as you are.  It’s comforting to know that you’re not alone.

Patrick goes over to his spot. He makes the ball bounce once, twice, three times. He goes into his serving motion and then…

“Out!” a line judge calls.

He shakes his head, pretending to be frustrated. His eyes never move from your direction as he walks back to his serving spot. You can’t tell if he’s looking at you or Tashi. You try to find it in yourself to care, you can’t. He looks at Art, then, and he smirks. Now you’re sure he is about to do something stupid. He bounces the ball once, then picks it up. He is stalling. You can see the indecision sweeping off of him. He looks up, straight at you. He is asking for permission, you realize. You nod, subtly, you trust him. He nods back, then looks back down. He goes into his serving motion, but he never throws the ball.

“Time violation, warning, Zweig,” the umpire’s voice rings through the speaker.

You don’t understand what’s going on. He looks at you again, still unsure. You roll your eyes playfully. Honestly you just want to go home at this point. You look at him, not moving. He needs to make a decision, and he needs to make it now. You’re never going to let him live it down if he loses this match because of a time violation.

He breathes in deeply, then out. He bounces the ball once, twice, three times, four times. But when he picks it up, instead of going through his serve, he places it on the neck of his racket. Then he serves, normally. Art doesn’t even try to hit it back.

“Deuce”

You frown, confused. You have no idea what just happened. Patrick smirks, cocky, then nods. Art scoffs.

“Fuck off!”

“Code violation, audible obscenity. Point penalty, Donaldson. Advantage, Zweig”

Art looks at you. For some reason, you’re completely sure he is thinking about the same thing you are. Your conversation last night. Recognition flashes through his face and you can see the exact moment he understands what you had been trying to tell him. He turns around, away from the court, but his eyes never stray from you. He looks down after a couple seconds of eye contact. His racket hits his leg repeatedly.

“Art?” the umpire calls, he doesn’t move.

“He can serve” it’s a bold move, you almost want to stand up and clap, you don’t know why.

“You need to get into position” the tone of voice leaves no room for argument.

Art looks up at you again. You don’t know what he wants from you but like you did for Patrick you nod anyway. It seems to work, because he gets into his position without waiting a second.

“Serve” he asks Patrick, but he is standing straight, absolutely not ready to receive.

The ball Patrick hits his way is a gift, low, with no real force behind it. Art doesn’t move. Patrick just won the set. It’s time for the tie break, you realize, and even though you could see it coming, it still shocks you. It had been his own doing, in a way you’re not sure you understand just yet, but Patrick looks as shocked as you feel as he gets ready to receive.

You can feel your heart thump in your chest. Art is expressionless as he serves the ball, harder than you have ever seen him serve. It goes straight for Patrick. He has to dodge to the side to avoid getting hit in the head. Someone screams at the top of their lungs and it takes you a second to recognize it’s Art. Then, like nothing has happened, they smile at each other. You must be crazy, because you smile too. 

It’s exhilarating, the way Art serves and Patrick is perfectly positioned to hit it back. They rally against each other. You can feel your heart as if it was trying to run away from you, into the court, where it belongs. Without thinking about it you reach out your hand. You don’t know what you are doing until fingers interlace with yours and it hits you, like a brick to the stomach, that you are holding hands with Tashi Duncan for the first time in thirteen years. You don’t look at her, you can’t and you don’t need to. Both of your heads move from one side of the court to the other, following the ball. You’ve never seen tennis quite like this. Patrick is playing better than you’ve ever seen him play. Art is playing better than you’ve ever seen him play. It’s addicting, thrilling, intoxicating. It’s everything tennis is supposed to be. It’s everything you haven’t realized you’ve been missing until now. You squeeze Tashi’s hand one, two, three times. Her response is almost immediate, squeezing your hand right back. 

It feels like the entire place is holding their breaths. Nobody is moving at all. The only thing you can hear is Art and Patrick’s grunts. You’re getting chills. They get closer together, slowly as the fight goes on. Each hit more precise, each backhand more powerful. You would be upset that you can’t be on the court, right in the middle of the action, if you couldn’t feel Tashi’s heartbeat through the hold she has on you. Both of your hands are now intertwined with hers and God, you’ve missed her. It all happens so fast, and somehow it still feels like slow motion as you watch Art jump to hit the ball, right next to the net. There’s no doubt in Patrick’s face as he drops his own racket and launches himself forward, arms first, to catch him as he falls down. You don’t see if the ball Art just hit goes in, but you don’t care either way. You jump off your seat as the two boys fall into an embrace over the net. Your own arms are now around Tashi’s shoulders, hers around your waist. You must look crazy to everyone watching but you can’t bring yourself to care. You are very glad Tashi doesn’t seem to be able to either.

“Come on!” The scream rips off your chest with an adrenaline that you only ever get on the court after a particularly hard earned and satisfactory win.

You don’t know what, but you feel like you’ve won. You smile, brightly and unashamedly, uncontrolled. From the corner of your eye, you can see Tashi smile too. Your entire body is vibrating from excitement and you can’t tell if it’s you or Tashi who is shaking, maybe both of you are. You haven’t felt anything akin to this since the last time you played doubles with Tashi, you don’t wanna let the feeling go. You still feel giddy as you sit back down, still holding on to Tashi tightly as the two boys continue to play. You’re pretty sure that Art wins, just barely, but you can’t really recall how or when. Tashi and you are on your feet immediately, clapping and cheering as they embrace each other again over the net. They whisper into each other’s ears and you would be upset at not knowing what they are saying but then the woman next to you is leaning over and whispers in your ear and your breath leaves your lungs:

“You wanna meet them in the locker room? We have a lot to talk about.”

You nod and you let her guide you, pulling you by your hand through the stands and a series of halls and corners. She’s always been the one who took control, your guiding light through the darkness, and you couldn't be more grateful for that now. You feel almost drunk on the events of today and you have no idea where you’re going and, if you’re being honest, you probably couldn’t get to where you came from by yourself either. She stops in front of a door you’ve seen before, it’s a generic white locker room door and it has a card with Art’s name taped on the side. You open your mouth to tell her you have to go look for Patrick but she is knocking on the door before you have the chance to say anything.

“You better be decent in there, because we’re coming in!” she calls through the door, not waiting for an answer before she pushes it open

You have the good mind to lock the door behind you as you giggle softly to yourself, even if they weren’t decent, it’s not anything you and Tashi haven’t seen before. You wouldn’t get much talking done, though, if that was the case. Thankfully they’re both full clothes, staring at the two of you mouths slightly agape. They look caught, even though they’re standing a decent distance apart from each other and they were probably not doing anything but stare at each other. It reminds you of that night, at the hotel room, and how they had looked at you after realizing they had just kissed. You can’t help the smile on your mouth. And then, Tashi speaks:

“I’ll do it” it’s the first thing she says. She is looking at Patrick, who looks back at you worriedly. “I’ll be your coach.”

Both you and Art are equally confused. You raise your hand, as if asking for permission to speak at school.

“I’m sorry, what’s going on?”

Patrick looks down guiltily before he mumbles his response.

“I asked Tashi to be our coach for next season, since ours is retiring.”

“When was this?”

“I don’t know, Wednesday maybe?” he looks at Tashi for confirmation who nods slowly, even though her eyes are locked on yours.

You want to be upset that he hadn’t told you, but you have no right to. You look back at Art, recognition flashes through his face. He swallows, looking around before you direct your gaze back to Patrick who’s already looking at you, brows furrowed.

“Patrick, I won't be playing tennis next season. I’m retiring”

“I’m sorry, what?” Patrick laughs, but there’s no humor behind it, his smile drops off his face when he realizes you’re not joking. “Why not?”

“I think you need to sit down for this” you say gently, a hand on his shoulder as he follows your directions.

He can feel his heart stop in his chest. He knew it couldn’t all be good. Just when he thought he was finally getting Art and Tashi back, you were going to leave him? He holds his breath as he tries not to cry. You look back at Art for barely a second before you speak.

“Pat, I’m pregnant” 

He doesn’t understand what you mean for a second. His mouth drops open and he looks back and forth from your stomach to your face. But it’s not him who speaks:

“You’re what?” Tashi’s voice comes from behind you.

“Pregnant” you repeat, your voice soft. “I only found out at the start of the week and I was going to tell you but I thought you had enough going on” you try to explain yourself signaling around you with your hands.

“I’m gonna be a dad” his eyes are wet as he reaches out his hands, one caresses your face, the other lands on your stomach softly.

You nod, a smile on your face as you realize he is not angry at you.

“Well I guess we’re even then, at keeping secrets” you can’t help but giggle softly at his words.

“No, there’s one more thing” you’re shocked to hear Tashi’s words and you turn to look at her expectantly. “Well, there’s a lot of things we need to talk about but I mean whatever the hell was going on on the court, at the end, when you finally served like a normal person” she finishes, pointing at Patrick who starts laughing almost hysterically.

“I just told him what you and I got up to last night” he says simply, as he shrugs his shoulders.

“What?” Tashi looks as confused as you feel, although it’s probably for very different reasons.

“When we were at the academy” Art starts. “I tried to bug Patrick into telling me whether you guys had slept together or not, but he said you had threatened him to not say anything. I told him he could give me a signal instead, like a loophole, and that signal was to serve like me. So when he did it today, I knew what he was trying to say”

“How is that groundbreaking news to you though?” you ask, brows furrowed.

“That his wife and best friend slept together?” Patrick looks back and forth between the two of you.

“You knew,” I say, still looking at Art. “You knew this happened last night so how was this news?”

“It wasn’t” he finally admits, a sly smile on his face.

“You knew?” Tashi’s mouth drops open.

“Tash, I love you, but you’re not particularly good at hiding your cheating” he says, almost playfully.

You get brought back to Atlanta, to Art’s face as he stepped out of the elevator, and you realize he had figured out what had happened then.

“I was shocked that Patrick would be cocky or blunt enough to actually tell me, I shouldn’t have been, but…” Art is now looking at you. “You never did… And Tashi didn’t either. But then I got hit by what you said last night, about figuring out our internal shit, about how you didn’t care if Tashi and Patrick slept together. I realized… I don't care either. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d be pissed if she slept with anyone else, but you two… I’m kind of ok with it.”

You nod, smiling, understanding. When you look around the room, you can see Patrick smile too, Tashi looks determined. You almost can’t believe it. Your eyes meet Patrick’s and his smile turns even brighter, something you didn’t know was even possible. It’s everything the two of you have delusionally fantasized about. Everything you never really thought you could have.

“I think the two of you need to shower” you say, pointing between Art and Patrick. “Then you can come to our room and we can keep talking, but no funny business until then” you finish, an accusatory but playful look in your eyes.

The two guys laugh as Tashi shakes her head and pulls you out of the room by your arm. You are both leaning on the wall when she speaks again, her head firmly stuck looking forward, refusing to meet your eye.

“I’m sorry. For how I treated you after I got injured. It was not your fault, it had nothing to do with you. I wish I could go back in time and slap my younger self for being so fucking careless with the best thing in our lives.”

A watery laugh comes out of her mouth. When she finally gathers the courage to look at you, your eyes are already fixed on her. You’re biting your lip, fighting back the tears as you let a small smile spread through your face.

“Thank you” your voice comes soft, an almost inaudible whisper.

The two of you throw yourselves into each other’s arms. It feels different that it did at the game. There’s less adrenaline, more honesty. It’s just you and her, like it’s always been. It feels like no time has passed as you let her scent envelop you again, it’s the same brand she’s always used. And yet, your body knows it’s been too long, you feel like an addict who has been on withdrawal for too long. You don’t think you’re gonna be ok with ever letting her go again.

“I can’t wait for you to meet Lilly,” she says, her voice honest, “she’s going to love you.”

You let yourself cry on her shoulder and, as hers shake, you realize you’re not the only one with tears in your eyes. It’s so painfully obvious to you that nothing mattered. The time, pinning, suffering and waiting, none of it matters. It brought you here, to each other’s arms, to your boys. You would do it all again, a million times, if it always ended with the four of you walking out and into a taxi. Art and Patrick tease you and Tashi for your tears, you excuse yourself in pregnancy hormones and an exhilareted Patrick pulls you into him so he can kiss you. Art, from the passenger seat shakes his head and asks you to have some decorum, at least until you get to your room. You laugh, in the taxi and all the way up the stairs. You laugh, and cry and you’ve never been happier. It’s not perfect, but it’s exactly what you needed and you would never change it for the world. Yes, you think, it was all worth it.

[angelst4re]

Hi angel 💕 Could you write a counterfeit jamie smut where the reader used to be friends with benefits with him and he comes back to her town on tour and she ends up in his hotel room if you know what I mean 🤭I love you’re writing <3

hi lovely!! thank you so much!! im sooo sorry for making you wait so long THIS REQUEST IS LITERALLY FROM FEBRUARY??? i hope it's worth the wait :)

Addiction- Counterfeit!Jamie x Reader

warnings: NSFW!!! this contains smut so if that makes you feel uncomfortable then please don't read!! <3

notes: it's been a while... for the last month i've been so busy and when i haven't been busy i've been thinking about noah sebastian and/or cillian murphy (jamie i am sorry i'm in a hoe phase rn!!) but i also have a henry creel drabble to post tomorrow as well so keep an eye out for that :) ALSO I WANNA SAY A BIG THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME!!!! (p.s. this isn't proof read and i wrote this over the span of three weeks so i apologise for any mistakes!!)

When you received the message from Jamie telling you he’s playing a show in your city, you couldn’t contain your excitement. You were out for lunch with two of your friends, who were questioning the wide grin on your face. 

“Oh, I just know she’s texting Matt again,” one of your friends smirked, eyeing you up, “are you ever going to meet up with him? You’ve been talking for almost 3 months?!”

“Oh, no, it’s Jamie. He’s playing here with his band next month, he wants me to come and see them. He’s sent two tickets, I could ask for an extra one if you wanted to come with me-”

“That’s perfect! You can ask Matt to come with you!” Your other friend suggested, although it came off as more of a demand. 

“But what if he asks about how I know Jamie? I couldn’t really explain that on a first date.” 

“Well, just tell him he’s a friend, maybe leave out the ‘with benefits’ part.”

“We stopped that a while ago, actually. I haven’t seen him for almost a year, we’re kinda just friends now.” 

“Then that’s your story sorted then,” your friend grinned, picking your phone up from the table and placing it in your hand, “now tell Matt he’s got a concert to go to.” 

You were surprised when Matt texted back, telling you he’s never heard of counterfeit before, but he’ll happily listen to them and come with you. You felt a little bad for lying to him, telling him you had no one else to come with you as your friends were working that weekend. 

On the evening of the show, Matt came to pick you up. You would’ve usually dressed quite casual for a concert, specifically one of Jamie’s, but this was also a date. You stepped out of your house wearing a black dress, comfortable shoes and a cute handbag to match the outfit. 

“You look amazing,” Matt said, unable to wipe the smile from his face, “let’s get going!” 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“That guy right there,” Matt shouted through the noise, pointing at Jamie, “is your friend?” His mouth was open in disbelief as you nodded your head. He had already had four beers, and you had only been here just over an hour. 

“Yeah, I met him at one of the restaurants I used to work at. It’s a funny story actually, some crazy fangirls were waiting outside for him to leave so I kinda helped him ‘escape’ through the back…” You trailed off as you noticed he wasn’t paying attention to anything you were saying, his attention was elsewhere. 

“Cool, I’m gonna get another drink, do you want one?” 

You shook your head and watched as he disappeared off into the crowd. 

Your eyes were drawn to Jamie, reminiscing on the times you had spent together. The times your bodies were intertwined beneath the covers and the times you spent laughing together in the car. You missed him, it was truly like it was a ‘right person, wring time’ kind of situation. 

Time passed and passed and you realised Matt hadn’t come back yet. Surely the line wasn’t that long? You just assumed he had gone to the bathroom, especially after drinking that much. But another 15 minutes passed and he still hadn’t returned, so you went to search for him. You assumed he wouldn’t have wandered far from the bar, so you were heading in that direction. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You were pushed up against the hotel door, slamming it shut as his lips met yours. One of your hands found his hair whilst the other was grasping at his shirt, as if you were hanging on to him for your life. The familiar smell of his aftershave, mixed with cigarettes gave you a feeling of nostalgia, and it was as if you were experiencing deja vu. 

His hands were on your thighs, pushing your dress up higher and higher, until his cold hands met your bare hips. 

“Jamie,” you gasped, pulling back for air. As if he couldn’t take his mouth off you, his lips were now on your neck, kissing and nibbling the spot he knew would make your knees buckle. 

The last thing you expected tonight was to leave the show with the singer. With Jamie. But after you went to look for Matt, you caught him with his tongue down another girl's throat. A part of you felt sick, betrayed, but another part of you felt relieved. However, you would never admit that’s how you felt, especially not to your friends. 

Jamie had given you a backstage pass, and cleared it with security before the show. You knew how the night was going to end as soon as you received the text from him. 

“Why does this always happen,” Jamie asked rhetorically, against the skin of your shoulder as he continued to pepper kisses, “always end up coming back to you.” 

You smile at his words, it was true. The two of you just couldn’t seem to keep your hands off each other when you were together. 

Before you could process what had happened, you were pushed against the table, and Jamie took your thighs, lifting you to sit on the edge of it as he got down to his knees. 

His kisses began at your ankle, and he looked up at you as they got closer and closer. Your calves, your knees and eventually your upper thigh. 

“I’ve missed you.” He confessed as he held your thighs open, one finger pushing your underwear to the side. 

He dragged a finger through your slick folds, earning a sigh from you as he grazed your clit. You looked down to see a smirk plastered on his face. His eyes briefly met yours before he placed a kiss over your clit, the tip of his tongue nudging it as you dug your nails into the underneath of the wooden table you were sitting on. Jamie quickly noticed this, and the hand that was holding your legs open for him guided your hands back to his hair. 

“Shit.” You gasped as you felt a finger gently press into your entrance, his lips now wrapped around your clit, sucking and nipping at it. “M-more…” You managed to whisper. 

“That’s not how we ask for something, is it, darling?” Jamie teased, a devilish glint in his eyes as two of his fingers pressed into you, agonisingly slow. 

“Please,” you whimpered, “I need… I want more, please, Jamie.” 

Jamie chuckled, his thumb now replacing his mouth on your clit as his fingers pumped in and out of you. He stood back up, towering over you before leaning down to kiss you, giving you a taste of yourself as he did so. 

“I’ve missed hearing you beg,” he whispered, “come on, sweetheart, let go for me. I know you're close.” 

He was right. You swore he knew your body better than you did. 

You could feel the knot in your belly tightening, getting ready to snap at any moment. 

“You’re making such a mess, y’know that? My messy girl, can feel you dripping down my hand,” you could tell what he was doing, he was trying to push you to the edge, he knew what effect his words had on you, and he was taking advantage of that, “that’s it, angel. You can do it, cum for me.” 

And that did it. 

Your head was thrown back, your thighs trying to close around him as he continued to work you through your orgasm. The moans falling from your lips were muffled by his as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. 

His fingers slipped out of you and he reached for your thighs, his slick coated fingers leaving your skin sticky as he pressed his body against yours, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you towards the bed. 

As your back hit the mattress, he began to undress. You took off your ruined underwear before you reached for your dress, to slip it off, but he called out to stop you. 

“Hey, leave it on. It looks so fucking sexy.” He growled, unbuckling his belt to let his trousers fall to the ground. 

He kneeled on the bed and shuffled his way between your legs, holding them open for him as he leaned down to kiss you once again. 

“Jamie, please.” You whined, lifting your hips to try and get him to do something. 

“Fuck, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to hold back, darling. It’s been a while since I’ve…” He doesn’t finish his sentence as you reach your hand between your bodies, palming his hard cock through his boxers. 

He grabs your wrists, his fingers digging into the skin sure to leave bruises for you to look back on in the days to come. 

“I didn’t tell you that you could touch, now, did I?” His eyes had darkened with need and lust, and the way his face twisted into a devilish smile made a whimper slip from your lips. “So desperate for me, aren’t you baby. I knew all those years ago I had ruined you for any other man, this just proves it, hm?” 

With one hand pinning your arms above your head, the other one comes down to drag his thumb over your bottom lip, before you welcome him into your mouth, gently sucking on the tip of his thumb. 

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, “keep your hands here, okay? I know you will, you’re my good girl, right?” 

You nod your head and manage to say a muffled ‘yes’ as his thumb presses down on your tongue as he uses his now spare hand to push his boxers down, letting his cock free from its restraints. 

He wastes no time, swiping his fingers over your slick, spreading it over his dick before pumping himself a couple times. His breathing is heavy as he lines himself up with you, your hips squirming as you wait for him to finally push in, but he takes his time teasing you beforehand. When the tip finally slips into you, you both let out a moan and his head falls forwards, buried where your neck meets your shoulder. 

It’s clear that neither of you have had any action lately, as you both need to take a moment before Jamie begins to move. You dig your nails into the pillow as he begins to slowly move his hips. 

His hand that was once over your mouth trails down and rests on your neck, applying a little pressure as your eyes fall shut. You feel how his cock slides into you, nudging spots inside you that made you shiver. He would pull back out until only the tip was left inside, before fucking back into you, getting progressively rougher. 

“You look so pretty like this, baby.” He said before leaning down to capture your lips with his. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist, keeping your hands planted above your head as you melted into the kiss. You took advantage of the use of your legs, if you couldn’t touch him with your hands. 

One of Jamie’s hands slid between your bodies to find your clit again, using his thumb to try and bring you the edge, knowing he wouldn’t last much longer. In the past, you and Jamie went maybe 2 or 3 rounds sometimes in one night. However, it was different tonight. You hadn't seen each other in a long time, let alone had sex. 

His pace began to quicken, his thrusts getting rougher and rougher. He buried his face in your neck once more and you couldn’t help but tangle your fingers into his hair, gently tugging on the blonde locks. 

“Shit,” he gasped, masked by a dark chuckle as he kissed your neck. 

“J-Jamie…” Your mind was too clouded by everything to even think about forming a proper sentence, but Jamie knew you and your body better than you knew yourself, and vice versa. 

You knew he was getting close by the way his cock twitched inside you. Your grasp on his hair tightened as you felt your high getting closer and closer. 

“Inside.” Was the final word you managed to mutter into his ear before you came undone, your legs locking around him, making sure he wouldn’t pull out before you came down from your high. 

As you were beginning to catch your breath, your muscles relaxing as you lay there blissed out, felt him twitch in you once more, cumming inside you with a moan, followed by your name. You rocked your hips as he stilled inside of you, milking his cock of every last drop. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, follow by a chuckle as he smiled lazily down at you, “you don’t understand how much I’ve missed you.”

[vikenticomeshome]

Cyberchase Character Discussion (for your local Cyberchase trivia quiz) - #6: Slider

Alright, here's your boy.

It's about time I got around to him, right? He's, what, the most popular character in the whole show?

Slider was one of a slate of characters introduced in Season 3. So, he didn't get an original "Meet the Cybersquad" entry. His first ever appearance would have been on the Cyberchase website during their "Who's New?" promotion. We get to see Slider and Creech, who both went on to appear in numerous episodes. We also get to see Nero the Animal Hero, Mister Z, Roxy, and Sheldon. I don't think those four have appeared since their debut episodes.

So, what did we learn about Slider here?

Lives in Radopolis

Loves to skateboard and is really good at it

Can fix anything

That's not alot to go on. With how Radopolis is, the second point is kind of redundant. Later on, they did give us more facts on his official trading card.

He's 13 years old (or is that Cyber-years?). We'll assume that this makes him older than the Earth Brats. His favorite color is red. He enjoys speed (going fast), string cheese, and sneakers. He dislikes busy-bodies and The Hacker, with an emphasis on The Hacker. He's great at skateboarding and building stuff.

His favorite line is just "Cool." To be fair, he doesn't seems like the sort of person to bother with a proper catch phrase.

Slider appeared for the first time during the gang's second trip to Radopolis, in Season 3 Episode 2 "Borg of the Ring". When he first shows up, he rescues Inez, Matt, and Jackie from a tire avalanche. He is notably unconcerned about the chaos unfolding on Radopolis. It's only after they mention The Hacker and/or The Totally Rad Ring, that he accepts that he has to do something about this.

Matt: Thanks for saving us.

Slider: (smiles, nods, and starts to leave)

Nezzie: Wait, you can't just leave us here! We need a ride!

Slider: Not my problem

Jackie: But we have to stop Hacker! He has the totally Rad Ring!

Slider: Just became my problem.

We know that The Hacker used the Rad Ring to remove everyone's wheels. Slider has a substitute for a wheel on his board, in the form of an aluminum can. This suggests that he has already been impacted by The Hacker's actions. And yet, he needs further motivation to get involved. It makes me wonder if he was testing that can as a replacement to the wheel, skated off while lost in his own head, and didn't notice everyone else's wheels disappearing around him.

Of course, we have to talk about Jackie and Inez immediately crushing on him.

This is something that continued into the series. He looks confused or weirded out in the show.

In also continued in Ron Barrett's official comic, "The Great Cyber-skate". He's shown to be oblivious to what's going on here.

"Borg of the Ring" also introduces his rivalry with Matt. Well, okay, it was more of a one-sided rivalry where Matt was being an ass and Slider barely noticed, but we got some good Matt faces.

We also get this shot, where Matt and Slider are racing to Point Dune, and Slider overtakes Matt easily.

Relax shippers. They just met. This is a children's educational show.

Which one of you drew that?

Anyway, back in "Borg of the Ring", we get a scene where Digit is trying to figure out how to make the ring. Matt offers to show him how. And then, something odd happens.

Slider: We need to adjust the radius.

Digit: Uh-huh, what am I missing here?

Matt: Don't worry Didge. The radius is the distance from the center point out to the edge of the circle. To change how big or small a circle is, just change the radius. I'll show you.

Slider: Nevermind. I'll make it. And I've got just the tool to do it.

Yeah, Slider got sick of listening to the lesson of the episode and just interrupted it. Is that allowed?

Okay, I've put it off long enough. Let's talk about Slider's dad.

We first hear about Slider's dad in "Snelfu Snafu Part 1", where Slider finds the Syncholator and a note from dad telling him to use it to find him.

However, he accidentally uses the ID code for the Encryptor Chip, which reveals that it is on an auction site. At the same time, we just had a radio contact from Dr. Marbles stating that he found the chip. This leads to a short scene that I had forgotten about until now.

Slider: Maybe he (Dr. Marbles) is the one selling the chip.

Digit: Never!

Slider: Cyborgs have been known to switch sides, you know?

Slider immediately goes with the idea that Dr. Marbles, Motherboard's technician/husband(?) has betrayed her. The Encryptor Chip is the only thing that can cure Motherboard, and Slider speculates that Dr. Marbles is trying to sell the chip for personal gain instead.

Near the end of "Snelfu Snafu Part 2", Slider assembles the Syncholator with additional parts to amplify its power. They need to use it to locate and retrieve the Encryptor Chip to recover Motherboard's soul. However, the modifications means that the Syncholator will burn out after one use.

Jackie: Wait a minute. Is there somebody else you need to find?

Slider: My dad. I was going to use the Syncholator to try to locate him

Slider: But if I'm ever going to have a chance to find him, Motherboard needs to be saved first.

As far as I know, this is the first time Slider tells Matt, Jackie, and Inez even a little bit of his tragic back-story. And the show takes his sacrifice of the Syncholator seriously.

Anyway, before we really dig into "Measure for Measure", let's have Matt and Slider get in way over their heads trying to babysit Podlings.

For the purposes of keeping this short and relatively focused, I won't go into too much detail about Slider and Coop's story. However, I will hit the high points.

Back in the day, The Hacker and Coop worked together on a device called the Transformatron, which could transform one thing into another. However, Coop realized that The Hacker was going to use the Transformatron to take over Cyberspace. So, Coop ripped up the plans and sent them elsewhere.

The Hacker took his revenge by swapping Coop's helmet for one made of red magnetite. This damaged Coop's hard drive, causing him to age prematurely.

Coop knew that the magnetite was dangerous enough to harm Slider. So, he left Slider behind in Radopolis, while he went into hiding on Discardia to develop a cure for magnetite poisoning.

The show never states how long Coop and Slider were separated. Keep in mind that Slider is only 13 when we meet him. Slider doesn't appear to have any other family or any sort of support network before the Earthlies show up. At some point, Coop learned that the cure to magnetite poisoning requires magnetite as an ingredient. However, borgs cannot work with magnetite. It's not clear whether Coop came up with any plans after this point, or if he gave up completely.

And then, Digit and the Earthlies arrived. They are immune to magnetite and able to finally mix the cure for Coop.

Yeah, The Hacker comes along, poisons Slider with red magnetite right in front of Coop, and takes Slider as a hostage. We learn that red magnetite damage causes Slider's feet to grow very large, preventing him from running away.

Hacker: Now I have the NIC and your son. Welcome to your worst nightmare, my old friend.

Yeah, this whole storyline is shockingly dark for a children's educational show. I'm glad that they made it. I don't believe I watched this back when it came out, but I would have found it amazing as a kid. I think most kids, either back then, or today, would be able to handle it just fine.

We get a happy ending. The Earthlies are able to save Slider, recover the NIC, and even heal Coop's own magnetite poisoning. And so, Coop and Slider were re-united and ready to get back to skateboarding.

Matt appears to have let go of his one-sided rivalry with Slider. The last episode containing such a rivalry was Season 6 Episode 6 "Team Spirit", where Team Motherboard competes in the Olympics . With Jackie injured, Slider needed to come in to substitute. All the data suggested that Matt needed to handle the swimming section, while Slider needed to handle the final run up to finish line.

Matt was committed to making the final run himself, to the point of refusing to compete. As they needed three people to compete, this selfish decision would have caused Team Motherboard to forfeit.

This wasn't really about Slider as much as it was down to Matt wanting to prove himself to his hero, Zeus. Near the end of the episode, while Matt is thinking it over, Slider comes forward to say something. However, before he can say it, Matt stops him and agrees to give the final run to the finish line to Slider, for the good of the team.

With those stories wrapped up, what else can we say about Slider. Well, there is something unusual here. Let's put him next to Matt for a moment.

Let's take his shirt off real quick.

Let's take Matt's shirt off as well.

Alright, now let's put Slider next to our other favorite Cyborg child, Creech.

For a Cyborg child, Slider just looks like an Earth Brat. If you needed to ding him on something, it would be his rectangular eyes. That's not a pre-requisite for Cyborg children, as Creech has oval eyes. However, we don't see any humans with that style of eyes.

I doubt that there is any real push to change Slider's model. I'm not pushing to change Slider's model. Still, this was kind of a strange choice, especially considering that Creech and Slider both arrived in Season 3. Why does Slider look almost human, while Creech gets the antennae and circuit-board-trace treatment that more closely aligns her with the Cyborgs?

[seventhdoctor]

No, please, go and talk about Motegi :) Be normal about him

All right now that I've written all that about Yubel, here's another guy I'm normal about!!!

Why I like them/why I don’t

Motegi is An Interesting Case to me. He's a funny one-off character with a strange power, and he sees spirits! At the time Judai meets him, he's the second person besides Judai we've met who can see spirits and the first who's very certain about it (since Hayato can only hear them and isn't quite sure about the whole thing, and Manjoume gets his North arc the episode after Motegi's).

So why don't we see him more often in the plot?

Oh yeah. It's because he can't control his weird powers so the school locked him up in this thing:

And then we learn he started at DA three years ago, so this is his fourth year. And then we learn that DA responded to the abilities he developed by locking him away in a cutesy prison in an underground bunker beneath the chicken coop. For four years.

They're not trying to help him. They're just...isolating him.

Motegi cameos in the second and fourth seasons, meaning he's still at DA. The show doesn't tell us he's received any help or anything, or that he's being let go. He's just kind of being held on the island for six years and running.

And like? HELLO??? AUTHORITIES??? Okay let's be real Kaiba would pay them off. But I am absolutely, positively insane about the fact that Duel Academia has effectively imprisoned a kid for six years for uncontrolled spirit powers with no signs of actually addressing the problem.

JUSTICE FOR MOKEO MOTEGI.

(I'm also like...this has implications for what could have been a Judai bad end, especially in an AU where Yubel was still with him and causing problems. But seriously. Free this boy.)

For his actual character, I think he's interesting for his perspective on spirits and the implications of Some Kind of Backstory. Flashbacks show he ran a different deck when he entered DA, and then when he met Mokey Mokey...that's when his dueling changed, that's when his uncontrolled powers appeared, that's when he changed. There's a story here, but he just gets locked away in an orb forever! I want to see where this goes!!!

What I like about their appearance

I really like his coat-cape. :3 It emphasizes how tiny he is, which is cute but also concerning given he's in his late teens or twenties. The ragged shirt gives the same vibe.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Original. I think Belowski is supposed to be a movie reference? It's probably funny if you know the movie. I don't, so ehhhh.

OTP/NOTP/OT3

I don't have any of these, but I could be sold if pitched something.

Favourite card they use

Mokey Mokey, of course. Love that oblivious little guy.

Favourite moment they were in

His exchange with Judai about "Don't you want to set your cute little partner free? Spirits are happy when they don't have a care." "Winged Kuriboh likes to fight, actually!"

Least favourite moment

The episodes we should have gotten with him but didn't.

[bookwyrminspiration]

quil is everything alright with that book

I'm kind of worried??

Tiernan de Haas's famous producer/movie star parents committed double suicide a few weeks before her 18th birthday (her dad was dying of cancer, but they didn't tell her, because they ignored her her whole life--this lack of attention/love is key to her later actions). Her guardianship was, for some reason, left to his estranged step brother he hasn't spoken to in decades, who lives in a mountain cabin with his two sons

Tiernan, for some reason (reckless anger?), is like yeah I'll move in with you guys, who I've never met before (he offered for her to emancipate herself but she said no...?). These guys consist of her step uncle Jake, and her step cousins Noah and Kaleb, who are both a few years older than her. Jake is an alpha ass, Noah hates his life and dad but can't leave (unclear why), and Kaleb hasn't spoken a word since he was four and is implied to like hurting women in bed.

Despite this, Tiernan decides to stick around, and by day two her Uncle is saying shit like "You're ours" and "this is your home", and Noah is like "let me perfectly explain your childhood trauma to you in the middle of this cvs." We don't see Kaleb until night 2 or 3, since he's been off in the woods, but the moment he walks in the door at like 1 am (covered in blood holding a dead deer) (Tiernan was getting some laundry) he immediately is like oh. A Woman To Have Sex With. and nearly rapes her until Noah pulls him off and goes hey...that's our step cousin.

The reason he was so immediately on top of her is because apparently??? there's just a constant stream of women in the house?? like Noah legit just wakes up with women in his bed waking him up to have sex. and so any woman in the house must be there for sexual purposes and is fair game

Anyway. Tiernan doesn't mention this, but gets into some spats with her relatives. Consisting of them making very deep, personal claims about her despite it having been, once again, like 3 days. Her Uncle is like "You never smile! you only speak in one word sentences! you never ask us questions!" As if she isn't among strangers and her parents died mere DAYS ago. yet, for some reason, she's like, damn...he's right. her uncle is also constantly like do NOT date the boys in town, do NOT go down to the pond alone, etc. etc.

Step Uncle Jake then starts unloading trauma while fishing about how he hasn't been near a woman in decades, since Tiernan's parents drove his first love to suicide (that why they haven't spoken in forever) and the mother of his sons is in jail. This turns Tiernan on. Later when Tiernan can't sleep, they nearly fuck in the kitchen, but stop and Tiernan finally cries over her parents death and how they didn't even leave her a note. Uncle Jake is like we're your family now and this is your home (it hasn't even been a week).

There's a time skip of a few weeks, where they're preparing for winter--because, I forgot to mention, they live alone at the top of a mountain and are snowed in for six months every year. Tiernan turns 18 (kaleb gifts her a hand carved belt that noah says is for bondage purposes), her cousins get into a fight in a bar over her, and they run away from the police to the house. The cousins stay up in case any of the people they fought try and get to the house through the snow, but they end up putting porn on the TV and having a communal masturbation session, nearly ending in Noah and Kaleb fucking Tiernan. Instead, Uncle Jake interrupts, and he spanks her.

And that's as far as I've gotten so far. So I'm reading a slow-burn (ish) romance of Tiernan falling for her step uncles and cousins. And they've just gotten snowed in for the next 6 months. So they're alone. and tiernan's now legally an adult. and no one here is well adjusted

send me your strength soldiers I think it's about to get even rougher

(I went into this book knowing exactly what it would be)

[nox140497]

What the Hell? pt 2

Masterlist

Prompt List

Part 1 part 2 part 3

Y/N P.O.V.

It's been about two months since I met the Titans, and I love them to bits. Well, except Raven, but that goes both ways cause she pretty much hates me.

She's also been trying to break us up. She's not obvious about it, seeing as 3 of the 4 brothers are currently in the tower and have not noticed.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ok, this is getting out of hand. I hate that she has powers that she can use to move things. She's been taking my stuff and playing the 'I have no idea what you're talking about' when Dick asks if anyone has seen them, and of course they've known her longer and trust her more and thus they don't take me seriously when I tell them it was her, and it's getting worse 'cause Damian is defending her and it's already caused many fights between us.

I'm at the end of my rope at this point , on the verge of going back to Gothem. All of this is going through my head as I train, alone in the training room.

Once I was done, I went to the kitchen to get some water before hitting the shower. I saw Damian and Raven sitting on the couch next to each other. I mean, everyone else was there, but they were next to each other, and she was cuddling him, and had it been someone like Dick who enjoyed cuddling, I wouldn't have had a problem, you know? I'm not possessive of him at all, but this was Damian 'don't touch me' Wayne, so yea, I was a bit confused.

Anyway, they were having a movie night by the look of it, and obviously, I was not invited, so I was about to walk away when movemwnt out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Raven had leaned up and kissed him. She had KISSED MY BOYFRIEND! The worst, though? He didn't push her away, and no one had moved to do anything.

Without a sound I slipped into my room and packed my stuff slipping out of my window so I wouldn't be seen. Not that they'd care I guess.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It's been 2 weeks since that

night. When I got back to Gothem, I went straight home. Surprisingly, I've actually got a couple of calls and texts from the boys. The only ones I would answer were those from Jay, and even then, my answers were short. None of them knew where I lived, and my knew my history. Bruce knew obviously, but none of the boys did.

That made my hiding from them a bit easier. I was currently lying on my bed, ignoring my ringing phone and cuddling under the blankets.

And then it happened......

A tap at my window.

Danmit, they found me.

I mean, it was gonna happen eventually, I guess, but still.

I looked over to see that all four boys were at my window. Crap.

I sigh as I get up and go over to the window, pushing it up but not letting them in.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"Don't you 'what?' Us where the hell have you been for 2 bloody weeks?" Jason snapped, sounding just as annoyed.

"Sorry Jay, I haven't been feeling too well for the past couple of days, so I figured I'd stay home and not get you sick. Also, the hell are you three doing here? I thought you were in Jump City with the Titans." I said sweetly but ended it coldly.

"We were, but then when Todd said that he hadn't seen you in days and neither had we, we came to check on you. Are you ok, Beloved?" Damian asked as I finally let them into my room. I flinched slightly at the pet name, and it didn't go unnoticed.

"N/N, what's wrong?" Dick asked softly, going to put a hand on my shoulder, but I stepped back. A hurt expression crossed his face as he let his hand fall back to his side.

"Nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong? It's not like my boyfriend cheated on me right in front of me or anything. Oh wait, he did. Not like you would really care anyway so why don't you three just go back to Jump City and I'll stay here in Gothem where I belong and I can't get in your way and you can kiss and make out with Raven all you like!" It had started off calm, but by the end, I was in tears, and all 4 boys looked confused.

"Wait, what?" Jason suddenly growled he pulled me into his chest, and his green eyes seemed to glow a poisonous neon green as he glared at his brothers. They did that when he was really mad.

The 3 boys winced, and all looked guilty.

"Beloved..." Damian said

"Don't. Just get out." I growled, cutting him off

"But N/N," Tim started weakly

Get. out." I snarled at them, gripping Jays shirt, keeping him in place as the other three hesetantly left.

Once they were gone, I sagged against Jays chest and sobbed. Finally , I let everything out and letting him comfort me.

"It's gonna be ok n/n, I promise."Jay wispered softly as he lay us on my bed and pulled me into a protective hug.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas!! How are you?

I have been wondering something about myself for a lot of time, like since back then when all the asks on your blog were about sexuality and genders and i have been wanting to ask you this since then bc I don't know with who else i could talk about this, and you're always so heplful.

Is it possible that someone who would like to date and fall in love to be aromantic? Because I've never liked a boy in my life or at least I haven't realised it except for like one time that I had a "crush" on this boy that i had met like two times and then he left and after like four days I stopped liking him. But I don't know if i did like him or if it was just that i liked the conversations we were having or the fact that he was giving me his full attention when he was talking to seven other people. But I'm always socially awkward and I usually don't talk to the 'new' people when I'm in a large group with people I'm comfortable with so it took me by surprise that I could talk to him that easily and i didn't even feel awkward or uncomfortable. And maybe my feelings could have been developed to a crush if we had more time together, but we hung out only two times and then he had to go back to his hometown. I don't know if I'm making a lot of sense with the whole story...

Anyway, so I don't want to be aromantic, not bc i have a problem with people of this sexuality, i just really want to date someone and find someone that i love and they love me so much and actually grow old together. But I'm turning seventeen in august and isn't it a little weird that i haven't felt attracted to someone until now?

But then i think that since i want a romantic relationship, then I can't be aromantic, right?

And i had a talk with one of my friends that I really trust and she used the facts that i probably liked that boy and that i do want to have a relationship as arguments as to why I'm probably not aromantic and she said that maybe I haven't felt that way about any boy because we live in a small area and believe me, it's really rare to have an actual relationship with the local boys rather than a situationship and because i have a very specific type when most boys are the same here.

I really don't know why I'm sending this. Like i don't know how you could help me when I don't know how i feel but maybe you know something that i don't?

Anyway I'm sorry for your time and it's okay if you can't answer or you don't have the time

Also I'm really thankful that you help everyone that comes here to tell you a problem of theirs and you make them feel better. People like you actually matter to the world and they make it a better place <3

I'm sending lots of love and i hope you have a nice day!!

Hi! <3

Okay so...first, do you know the difference between aromantic and asexual? Meaning do you want romance, but you feel little to no actual attraction? because if so, you could be asexual. Remember that sexual and romantic attraction are different- some people experience both, one, or neither.

Adding on to that, there are demiromantic and demisexual people. Meaning they usually have to form a connection with someone before feeling that connection. I'm demisexual, and I have to get to know people before I even think about actual intimacy with them.

Maybe these terms will help you with your confusion?

Let me know what you think! Naming you guava anon!

[elvendria]

NOTICING YOU - E.M x FEM READER Part One

summary:

-What are you doing to me y/n Henderson?- -I could ask you the same Eddie Munson-

y/n Henderson is Dustin's older sister. She's the shy, reserved bookworm you see around the hallowed halls of Hawkins High. She's a cynic. She's seen how those you love can treat you, and knows that true love and soulmates belong only in her books.

At least until a freaky metalhead who happens to be friends with her brother shows up more and more in the most convenient of places.

\\acquaintances - friends - lovers - enemies - lovers//

Ok so I just want to clarify a few things:

Although set in the time of season 4, music up to the current decade will be used, I just find it easier to know what songs to use when I'm not limited to specific timelines

There'll be referneces to songs however some of them may be listed as y/n writing them herself, but I'll put the original singer/songwriter at the end of the chapter

It'll start before the events of season 4, but will gradually move into that storyline over time

(I should also mention that in this fic, Eddie only repeated his senior year once, meaning there's only a year between them instead of two, and Steve hasn't graduated yet)

Ok. Let's jump in.

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TW: single mom/absentee dad, shy bookworm reader, fem!reader

word count: 2.2K

August 20th

The thought of walking across the school carpark for the first day of Senior Year felt like walking through the gates of hell. All I wanted to do was run somewhere until the end of the day, and then slowly crawl my way home.

I could barely find the will to get my legs to move out of my 1967 Volkswagen Beetle, my most prized possession. It felt like my legs were encased in cement as a cold sweat ran down my spine at the thought of having to face more than one person every day.

Dad had fixed Betsy before he left all those years ago, I thought it would be junk by now but it runs just like it did when he finished it up and took Dustbin and me out for a test drive. Sure she's bumpy in places, but nothings is ever perfect.

I looked out the driver's side window to a couple running and jumping into each other's arms, kissing all slobbery as if he'd just returned from war when in reality she saw him like two days ago. That, or he was away at camp this summer. And let's be real, he most definitely did not stay celibate for a month or 2 just because he was away from his girlfriend. Either way, she was overreacting and trying to put her claim on him in front of all the other girls in the parking lot.

"What a stupid thing to be doing in public, save it till you get home," I scoffed, but not loud enough for them to hear me, confrontation is not my forte. Running and hiding, now that's something I'm good at.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you had someone to smooch on a Monday morning." Dustin teased from beside you, a grin spreading across his face.

I've always found my brother's smile to be infectious, even when I was in the worst mood possible.

"Alright Dustbin, you've convinced me. This year I'll have so many boyfriends I won't have time to be cynical. Your wish is my command." I feigned a bow towards him, knowing deep down inside, that he was just as nervous as I was.

"If I'm going to be going to high school, you need to stop calling me Dustbin. It was cute when you were 3, but we're grown now." Dustin huffed, crossing his arms and slumping in his seat.

"I don't know, you look like a little kid to me, I mean I could mix you into a batch of newbie middle schoolers and no one would be able to tell the difference. " I felt a swat at my arm, which further instigated my laughter.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a guy turn his head and look at the car, his hair falling below his shoulders. Our eyes met and he quickly turned and walked away, but it was too late.

Eddie Munson had just caught me laughing like a maniac with my brother.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a lot of self encouragement, and a bit of teasing from Dustin, I finally worked up the courage to get out of the car and start walking to the school doors, pleading with myself to turn around once or twice. Somehow I made it to my homeroom and my desk without knowing how, as if my feet had grown tired of the back and forth, the will she won't she, and just decided to move on their own.

Sitting down at the furthest corner of the room, I pulled my white knitted sweater around my arms, carefully listening to my favourite teacher in the whole school."

"Alright students," Ms Collins called out, I'm passing around your timetables now. I'd just like to remind everyone-"

"Sorry I'm late, hellfire club duties and all that, I would say it won't happen again but we both know you don't like liars, Ms C."

"Mr Munson please find your way to an available seat. There's one beside Ms Henderson."

Fuck.

"As I was saying, students will not be allowed to switch classes this semester." Light groans presented themselves around the classroom, and I wanted to join them when I saw my timetable,

Homeroom

Period 1: Biology

Period 2: English

Period 3: History

Period 4: Spanish

Lunch

Period 5: Math

Period 6: Music

Period 7: Chemistry

Period 8: Economics

"Who makes a person cut open a frog first thing in the morning?" I whispered to myself.

"I know right, there has to be some sort of law against it or something, it's disgusting," the deep voice from beside me whispered back. I couldn't move, I could barely breathe. I could feel his body heat beside me. 

Why did this have to be a two-person desk?

I've always found it difficult to talk to people, but I've found it especially difficult to talk to him ever since he was in the middle school talent show. Past friends have said it was a crush but I knew that wasn't true. Crushes were only for hopeless romantics and kids.

I hate myself for it, I don't want to seem like all those people who called him a freak.

But ever since Dad left I told myself I never wanted to get close to anyone, yet here I was, sitting thinking about the time I sat in the wings and watched him play with his band. His hair was really short then and he was skinny. Mom said he was all elbows with the way he was holding his guitar. But that didn't matter to me. Just to see him so involved in the music, it was almost like he'd forgotten everyone else could see him.

I swore that after I went out on the stage, played the piano and sang Hello, Hello by Elton John, I'd go backstage and talk to him. However, I was barely 5 words in when my vision went blurry and I was suddenly running off the stage. I remember running to a classroom-turned dressing room and curling up into a ball, completely and utterly embarrassed. I decided from then on that I wasn't going to speak to Eddie ever, I took it as a sign that I wasn't supposed to. So when he talked to me in homeroom, I felt my lips had been sewn shut and that I was rooted to my seat.

Once the bell rang, I jumped from my seat and practically sprinted out the door on my way to Biology, only realising along the way that Eddie might be in my class. I didn't see his timetable, but he agreed with me about biology, so there's always the possibility.

I sat down at the back of the biology class, tying my dark red hair into a ponytail when a girl sat down beside me. I was right about Eddie being in this class, but he sat in front of me with Steve Harrington, so it wasn't so bad. At least he couldn't directly see me unless he fully turned around, and he had no reason to do that.

The girl nudged me with her arm I turned to look at her as she gave a short, small wave.

"I figured we should introduce ourselves because if we don't then this lab partner business is going to get weird really fast because I don't think I would be able to call you buddy or gal for the whole semester, especially considering I hate using both of those words." She rambled on.

I usually don't make friends with people who could talk for hours, but something about this girl was different. Instead of freaking me out, her rambling made me want to chuckle along with her.

"Oh, you're laughing, thank god because I thought you were going to be one of those people who is all work and no talk and that would get irritating really fast." All you could do was smile back.

"I'm Robin by the way! Robin Buckley," She smiled gleefully.

"Y/n Henderson, a pleasure to meet you, Robin," I said back, returning her small wave from earlier.

"Wait, are you Dustin's sister?" Suddenly Steve Harrington was a part of this conversation, pulling me from the happy little bubble Robin had formed around our Biology desk.

I could see Eddie's head turn slightly and all I could manage was an "Uh hmmm" before Mr Wright came in and Robin told Steve to shut up and turn around.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The day flew by, Robin invited me to sit with her at lunch, and although I would've loved to, my special place was calling to me.

Pushing throw a creaky old door near the end of the school, I made my way into the library. Sliding past the textbook section I found myself perusing the fiction aisle, looking for something to get lost in for an hour.

The smell of the old musty pages was like a personal high, and curling up in a beanbag in the far corner of the room was heavenly. I could relax. I'd missed it all summer, you couldn't relax in the public library during the summer, it doubled up as an arts and crafts centre for kids.

I was in the middle of reading something about a girl caught in a war between the underworld and the real world when the bell rang to signal lunch was over. Grabbing my stuff, I rushed out of the library and into someone, sending me backwards, my glasses flying from the top of my head, the price I pay for not putting them back on correctly.

"Oh, shit are you ok?"

No. No No No NO NO NO. This was not happening. I am not running into this man for the third time today.

Eddie bent down to get my glasses while I fumbled to put my books back in my bag, not daring to look him in the eye in case he could see right through me. His friends from Hellfire were there, snickering not so quietly to themselves.

As he handed them to me, I mumbled a "Thanks", before jumping to my feet despite his offer to help me up, and practically running down the hall as I heard the late bell ring. I had Mrs Mayer for Math and she doesn't take kindly to latecomers. I reached my desk before she got to the room, breathing out a sigh of relief as I slumped down in a chair in the back.

The rest of the school day went by in a blur, and before I knew it the bell rang to signal the end of the day. I rushed to my locker to grab the books that I'd need when Dustin and Mike walked up to me.

"You want a lift home, Mike?" I asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

"Thanks, Y/n! Nancy's working after school with the school newspaper." Mike beamed at me.

"Y'know, there used to be a time when you smiled up at me, nowadays I have to crane my neck just to look at you. It's weird. Stop." I said, the three of us walking out to the car that sat like a glowing yellow sun at the back of the car park.

Even my car has to sit in the back.

"I can't help it, it's puberty or something," Mike laughed back.

"Yeah, well next time you feel like taking a growth spurt, let Dustbin do it instead, poor kid is tiny," I chuckled, feeling a sharp nudge in my side.

"I'll get you for that." Dustin retorted, playfully scowling at me.

Clambering into the car, I began to reverse out of my spot when I saw him about to get in his van, he raised a hand and gave a small wave. My knuckles went white from gripping the steering wheel, and instead of waving back, I drove out of the car park and didn't check the rearview until I was sure he wouldn't be in it.

It's just one year, and then it's over, I told myself mentally

"Oh was that Eddie? I was going to tell you, we joined Hellfire club, We might even become friends with him." Dustin cheerfully said.

Just one year.

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let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

[lavenderkatanas]

happy Thanksgiving everyone!! a holiday where we celebraTe our love for our friends and family and NOTHING ELSE >:b

i'm hanging ouT on my friend floopa's ship righT now since she's The only one of us wiTh a place big enough To fiT four people, eaTing dinner wiTh everyone while looking ouT aT The sTars is gonna be so preTTy ^_^ jusT like every oTher year since i meT Them, i'm Thankful for all of my friends and The facT ThaT we all goT The chance To meeT each oTher. i was alone for so long wiTh my only friends being people who encouraged me To hurT myself, so finally being friends wiTh people who really care abouT me has changed my life for The beTTer in ways i couldn'T even begin To describe. <3

loreley couldn'T come wiTh me for obvious reasons, buT she probably wouldn'T have wanTed To even if she had The sTrengTh. she's Too focused on her goal of showing The world danny's arT, and she doesn'T see a poinT in Trying To meeT people when she's gonna die soon anyways. i considered Telling her oTherwise, buT i don'T wanT To force her To do anyThing she doesn'T wanT To. i can'T imagine how iT musT feel To be in her posiTion righT now :(

she Thinks ThaT There's no way To escape her deaTh, buT i disagree. for years i've heard rumors of a place ThaT Takes in abandoned ThoughTforms and can cure her of whaT's killing her, and i wanT To believe ThaT iT's real. i plan on asking my friends abouT iT Today, oswald knows abouT a loT of ThaT weird underground sTuff so iT's possible he has more informaTion.

loreley, if This is one of The rare occasions where you're acTually using Tumblr To look aT posTs, i wanT you To know ThaT i refuse To leT you die like This. whaT danny did wasn'T your faulT, and you don'T need To suffer like This To Try and make up for iT.

i promise, by nexT year, you're going To be healThy again, and you're gonna geT To celebraTe Thanksgiving wiTh us. and i'll do anyThing To make sure ThaT you can. <3

[therecordconnection]

Ranting and Raving: "Don't Let the Light Go Out" by Panic! at the Disco

The Ship of Theseus is a famous paradox, one that regards identity over time. The paradoxical question takes many forms, but this is the most common one: The ship goes on many voyages over time. As it continues going on, eventually all of the original parts are all replaced with new ones. At that point, one must ask, is it still the Ship of Theseus?

This paradox can be fed into Panic! at the Disco, a band that began as four people but eventually found its way to being officially made up of just one person: Brendan Urie.

Just this morning it was announced that Panic! will be breaking up at the end of their upcoming European tour in March. The news was met here on Tumblr with memes, funny jokes, and observations galore. Pete Wentz killed Panic! the same way he and Fall Out and Boy killed My Chemical Romance when they broke up in 2013. Brendan Urie finally got tired of playing Weekend at Bernie's with the name of a band that hasn't truly been a band since 2009. Ryan Ross gets to drink tonight in honor of "The Evil" being vanquished. All kinds of stuff. The #panic at the disco tag is a very fun and interesting tag to look through today.

For me, I stopped following Panic! after the Death of a Bachelor album. I still enjoy that album a lot. I thought it was a really solid, really strong project and I think that's where Panic! at the Disco could've ended. Sadly, that's not what happened. I didn't really care much for Pray For the Wicked (although I was still stuck listening to my shitty Top 40 radio station at the time that came out so I never want to hear "High Hopes" ever again) and Viva Las Vengeance was an easy album to ignore, mostly due to Urie's public reputation being completely in the toilet by then. I remember hearing the album title, thinking it was silly and dumb, and moved on to other things.

Upon hearing the news that Panic! at the Disco would finally come to an end, I decided that it would possibly be worth it to listen to what will now be the final Panic! album (but is it the last time we'll see Brendan Urie? Could a true solo career be on the horizon someday??) and see what I initially passed on and was indifferent to.

If you want quick thoughts on what I think of the entire album: it's fine. I think it's an album that's mostly unlucky and will continue to be hated mostly because of the stink of Urie's current reputation more so than the quality of the music on it. I've certainly heard much worse, but it's far from the album I would recommend to someone that wants to give Panic! at the Disco a shot. The best way I can describe it is that it's if a theatre kid tried desperately to recreate seventies rock and still feels the need to prove themselves when they've already done so. I can't recommend much, but if you want to give the album a fair shot: the title track, "Middle of a Breakup," "Sad Clown," "Do It To Death" were the ones I thought were the most okay.

The one song that stood out the most to me was "Don't Let the Light Go Out," which is track 3 on the album. It's the one that shines the brightest. It's the best song production wise, Urie sounds great (because he's singing in a normal range as opposed to trying to go for obnoxious high notes that he can't hit,) it was the strongest one lyrically, and it was the one of the only moments of the album that felt genuine. Most of Viva Las Vengeance is Urie flying like a modern Icarus using a jetpack on max speed and most of the tracks sounding like a bloated mess of hubris and overcompensating.

Lyrically, the song is about a relationship ending, using visiting someone in critical condition in the hospital as a metaphor for said relationship dying.

Stare at a wall that's told a thousand tragedies Holding a hand that's loved every part of me A lady comes and tells me that I got to leave

It's not a terrible idea for a song, but when I listened to this song for the first time, it wasn't the death of a romantic relationship that was on my mind. No, the dying relationship that was on my mind was Brendan Urie's relationship with the "Panic! at the Disco" brand ending (it's more apt to call it a "brand" at this point.) If Viva Las Vengeance is going to be re-evaluated, I imagine the songs will be looked at through the lens that I'm looking at this song right now: Seeing the connections between the lyrics and the death of Panic! at the Disco.

The next set of lyrics continue the metaphor of visiting someone in critical condition:

Deep breaths from the room where I watch you lie Any beat from your heart gets me through the night You're my love, you're my death, you're my alibi Say this isn't goodbye

The entire time I've listened to this song, I don't picture a person when I hear "you," I only think of Urie talking to the concept of Panic!. It's not hard to view it this way, especially when you have fans that have been saying Urie has been playing Weekend at Bernie's with the band's corpse for years or that he's the one person that has the power to pull the band's name off of life support and won't do it (until today, of course.)

This song, above all the others, felt the most genuine to me. It's the song with the least amount of theatrics and tricks. It's the one moment on the album where Urie sounds and feels... lost. Like he's gone too far and doesn't know where else to go. I keep asking myself, "If Panic! at the Disco ends, what becomes of Brendan Urie?" What identity do you have when you've been wearing a different one for so long? What do you do when you finally pull the plug on the only thing you've known for the last nineteen years?

Who's gonna drive me home tonight? Who's going to argue 'til they win the fight? You're the only one that knows how to operate My heavy machinery

The post chorus is just the title of the song repeated four times: "Don't let the light go out." I imagine Urie has been repeating this phrase to himself for years now. He probably said it when Spencer Smith was gone, when Ryan Ross was gone, when Dallon Weekes was gone, when all but him were gone from the picture. Urie doesn't strike me as a man who looks backwards, only forwards. "Don't let the light go out" sounds desperate. It sounds like someone who has no idea where they're going, but they know they have to keep moving. They'll figure it out eventually... right?

It's the most genuine and most human moment on the entire album for me. Those six words. "Don't let the light go out." It feels especially human because it's sung by a singer who at only thirty-five sounds fried. I mean, fried. My man's upper register sounds cracked and hurting and you can really hear it on this song and throughout the album. The title track and "Sad Clown" are the two songs where this is most evident. Urie tries (and fails) to hit notes that are way beyond reach for him and they're borderline painful to hear ("Sad Clown" is an apt title for that song... I'll leave it at that.) It's the best song on the album and it's a sad, but fitting end to the Panic! story. It's a good representation of the final days of a brand coming to an unceremonious end.

Panic! at the Disco is something that I think deserves to die and I'm happy to see it die. It needs to enter the backburner of history and hopefully time will be kind to the golden years left behind. Panic! at the Disco's death was slow and agonizing and Viva Las Vengeance is the album you get when you have an artist that refuses to let something come to a natural conclusion. When you have an artist who feels so fucking committed to trying to prove that they were the whole of something great rather than one of the parts that made it great, you get Viva Las Vengeance. The story of Panic! at the Disco is akin to growing up with a dear friend and then watching them be involved in a serious car crash after the best day ever. Then you have to see them cling to life and be hooked up to several machines. Doctors and nurses and surgeons keep them alive when all you want to do is run into the room and pull the plug and stop the pain from continuing.

"It's been a hell of a journey," is how Brendan Urie described the end of the brand. Yes it has, though with the way people have reacted to the news of Panic! at the Disco's demise, you would think Queen Elizabeth came back to life and died again. There's going to be a healthy stream of memes and jokes and ridicule and it's all deserved and it's all Brendan Urie's fault. When you refuse to let something die, eventually people want to go in and kill it for you. My only hope is that people prop up their golden years (A Fever You Can't Sweat Out through Too Rare to Live, Too Weird to Die) and remember that stuff. Maybe I'm biased because my friends and I grew up with the music, but I genuinely think that stuff deserves to stick around because of happy memories associated with it. Too Rare to Live, Too Weird to Die is still one of my favorite albums of the 2010s and my friends and I still have plenty of Panic! songs we're gonna continue to love into the future. I wouldn't have wanted Panic! at the Disco to die this way, but I can say I'm happy it's master finally decided it was time to put it to rest. It deserves to rest peacefully and hopefully (knock on wood) it will forever. If I had to eulogize Panic!, "This Is Gospel" is how I want to do it:

This is Gospel for the fallen ones Locked away in permanent slumber Assembling their philosophies From pieces of broken memories

[heavyhitterheaux]

“Well, I mean there’s pros and cons to both. Pro, I can keep an eye on both of you and kick Jack’s ass as needed and the con? Well, living with your baby daddy who at one point wanted nothing to do with you or his child.” NO LIES WERE FUCKING TOLD!!

“A title that I embrace. I can’t stand his ass and how he did the both of you. Wait until I get my hands on him. Send me the time and place I WANNA WHOOP SOME ASS TO!! & and I’ll even record 🤭

“Okay Harlow, you listen and you better listen good. Y/N is my best friend and I swear on everything that is within God’s green earth that if you even think about going back on your word that I have no hesitations to kill you even if you are my goddaughter’s father.” YESSS JESSS PUT👏🏽 A👏🏽 WEAK👏🏽 BITCH👏🏽 IN👏🏽THEY👏🏽 FUCKIN👏🏽 PLACE👏🏽

“Hmm, you are tall. She wasn’t lying about that part. But I will bring you to my height if I have to. Anyway she’s still sleeping, take care of my girl. Nice meeting you in person finally, I guess.”I love how she told his ass off before they even met IRL 😭 like YESSS BITCHHH LET THAT HOE KNOW U AINT PLAYIN ABT YO GIRL!!

“Well if things had gone a bit differently, she wouldn’t have had to do that. But anyway, moving on.” TELL HIM!! Jess took it lightly HE LUCKY HE AINT GET HIS WHITE ASS BEAT!

"You've seen the latest sonogram. Only thing she might have is your forehead.” God bless YN’S VAGINA 😌 THAT BABY BIG HEAD FINNA TEAR IT TF UP 😭

"But babe…" Boy don’t babe her, you lucky she even thinkin abt it and not js sayin NO FUCK U!

"I'm not trying to have this turn into an argument." Jack said while looking at you. It don’t seem like it JACKMAN 😑

Jess, I haven't felt her move in two days." Please don’t make me cry, REE I CANT DO THIS TODAY 😭

"But you know what I've noticed? Any time we're in Atlanta he disappears for days at a time and he used to not do that. So I'm thinking if anything that's where he's going." Jack is soooo fuckin dumb, like did you rlly think they wouldn’t notice 😒

"Family emergency. Something's wrong with Clay." Honey just stop lyin 😐

Jack- He's fine. Will stay with my parents for a few days. This is really really embarrassing for you Jackman 😕

"His location is saying that he is at the hospital."THIS IDIOT DIDNT TURN HIS LOCATION OFF?!?! Jack did you wanna get caught?? Cause like sir wtf

"Thank you and almost 7 months." H- h- HOLD THE FUCK UP 6 MONTHS THIS WHITE BOY HAS BEEN HIDING THIS FOR NEARLY 7!MONTHS?? I’m thinking maybe 3, 4 if I wanted to push it. BUT SHES ABT TO POP AND THIS BOY STILL HASN’T TOLD ANYONE!? Is he fucking mental 🤨

“He really wasn’t even there for the first four.” You heard Jess mutter, but Clay heard her. WAIT WAS THIS ADDRESSED IN OTHER PARTS & I DONT REMEMBER?? Cause now I’m pissed off all over again 😕

“Jess, please stop throwing me under the bus.” If you wasn’t bullshitin there would be nothing to throw

“They checked on her and said she’s fine, and that she really was sleeping. I just don’t ever remember her sleeping for that long. Like I said, any time she hears his voice, she’s active.” She said I’m tired of my daddy’s shit, wake me up when it’s my time to come out & he stop playin games ✌🏽

“Nope, they were friends with benefits and they met on the Creme De La Creme tour in Atlanta and have been fucking ever since.” Okay damn just put they business out they like that 😭

OKAY PART 2 COMING!!

Jess plays absolutely NO games with him and she'll probably continue to threaten him on a daily basis 😭

Yes he has been hiding her for that long!

The first 4 he was being an ass and started to act like he had some sense in the middle of month 5

Clay was just like... do not include me in your shenanigans lmao

Urban knows Jack like the back of his hand and knew something was wrong the entire time

Oh yeah baby girl is definitely tired of him acting absolutely wild and she is not here for it

And just because Jack designed the cute nursery means nothing lol she is still on the fence about living with you lol

[spacecadetspe]

A snippet from last year…

Apr. 3, 2023

It feels like everything came together properly last night.

Had a great cathartic cry in the morning, had a home-cooked breakfast, went to the fair with my two favorite people in the world, took W back to his father, then went home and made ceviche and southwestern-style potatoes and watched anime with Fortitude until bedtime.

And then we got to work. The Forge has been repaired. I called Zoe, Phobetor, and Morpheus, and then called Patience's star, Amitabha, to meet us with his associates at Muspelheim.

The Captain of Surtr's Guard met me in a crushing hug and swung me around like a ragdoll (I do love the Jotnar so!) and led us into the Forge. After awhile, he murmured that we were getting close to Patience's cell.

"How can you tell?" Morpheus asked.

I rubbed my jaw. "It makes me want to clench my teeth," I replied.

The Captain nodded. "The gravity has changed."

Morpheus hummed and gestured at me. "I must be spending too much time around her; I can hardly feel it."

"It's not pleasant," I mumbled.

Patience's cell has a door four layers thick, with warding on top. Nobody was taking any chances with him, and that's fair. The menfolk all looked at me to make sure I wouldn't need an escort, but I knew I could do this on my own. The Captain let me in, and then warded the door behind me.

Patience and C were both curled up in the far corner of the room, and glared daggers at me when I entered.

"What do you want?" he growled.

I got straight to the point. "Father wants to know if you're still set on being the Virtue of Patience."

He raised his head a bit. "Why would that be a concern?"

I threw up my hands. "I don't know, John," I said, using his human name. "Maybe because you're at sixty wings and you haven't leveled up in awhile. You've been waffling so long He's not sure you're a good fit."

He finally turned his glare away. "It wasn't the most pressing thing at the time."

"Your identity isn't the most important thing?" I asked, rhetorically. "And you seriously wonder why he's testing you?"

C picked her head up. "All this was a fucking test?" she asked.

"That's the rumor."

"But why did it have to be me?" she cried.

I countered easily. "Your patron is the embodiment of death, honey. Did you think he was going to make an exception for you when it came to doing his job? And I know you didn't think to ask him about what you could learn from this, did you?"

A low, matter-of-fact voice spoke up. "Did you think it was only just you?" I turned and saw Thanatos leaned against the opposite corner of the room from them, to my left. "Shall I show you all the women and children who've lost their lives over the eons because they miscarried?"

C lowered her head. "I'd... rather you didn't."

"I figured," he said with a nod. "But you're acting like you're alone in this, and you're pushing away any attempt at comfort or camaraderie."

I folded my arms. "I saved your husband's soul three times. And you want to push away all Hope because you wanted to be mad and blame someone else for what happened to you. Every olive branch I have extended got slapped back in my face. It's come to the point where Sinmara out there has had to patch me up twice because of all the betrayals I've gone through." I lifted my shirt to show them the glowing runic stitches on my abdomen. "You might be the heart of the universe, C, but you are still just one person. And you're affecting billions of people because you can't stop hiding behind your own trauma." I cocked my head. "Not the smartest choice you could've made. But you know what?" I dropped my hands. "Fine. This is the last time I save your ass."

Patience snorted. "Why do you care?"

I paused, mostly for effect. "I have loved you since the day we met," I said. "I have always cared, and I've never stopped. Not even when I have my own shit to deal with. It never occurred to you that I didn't want you to bear my burdens, did it? It didn't occur to you that running the Dream World is nobody's picnic, and I'm doing that mostly on my own. You get all the fun reports of my adventures, but I don't tell you about the breakdowns, the revolutions, the rebellions, and the nastiness I have to put up with. And by the way, even though I've saved your ass three times, I have never had flaming debris raining down on two of the worlds I supervise because that's how destructive you got!"

I took a breath, and Thanatos patted my shoulder.

Finally, I let my shoulder relax. "So... I'll give you until the end of the year. Then I'll need to see if you're still Virtue material."

"And what if I'm not?" he asked

I shrugged. "That's fine. That's your choice. We'll find someone else to fill the role."

Patience looked at C. "But... she's my wife."

I shrugged again. "So? You're not guiding her. You're not letting any of your guides help you. If you're not going to do it, someone else has to pick up the slack."

"Well... what about me?" he stammered.

"It depends," I replied. "We don't have to be friends. But if you stand against me... if you get in my way... if you try to tear down all that I have built..." I lowered my gaze at him. "I will kill you."

"Seems a bit harsh..."

"Harsh?" I yelled. "You destroyed the both the Forge and the infirmary! The occupants of Muspelheim evacuated to the Dream World because of this!" I pressed my hands together. "We were friends once, so I'll ask you only once; do not fall back into depravity, or I will treat you like a threat. I have three hundred wings. You have sixty. You won't stand a ghost of a chance."

And I left them. I nodded to Phobetor and Morpheus to begin, and the Captain shut them in. I'll need to check on them sometime today. I hope they are all right, after that. They were working with at least four astral guides last night. They're probably exhausted.