#he loved the control even more— to know he had the power to manipulate Vanessa into doing it for him against her will

[send-me-a-puffalope]

Thinking about Vanessa and Cassidy being the Afton siblings (twins?) in the movies. Both loathing their father but can’t help but mirror his behavior.

Vanessa threatening to shoot Mike when she’s terrified, Cassidy putting Abby in danger to lure his father back to the restaurant. To make themselves look bigger, they imitate the man that made them feel small through violence.

[demonkinguwu]

The Three Subcon Bosses [My fanon version lol]

The trickster shadow, the wrathful queen, and the disappearing moon

Lore Below <3

Snatcher: Once was a kind lonely prince whose only talent was painting, often overlooked and ignored due to this. He fell in love with Vanessa quickly as she was the only one who understood the loneliness of his paintings. The two married after a year of courtship, but the prince worked hard to learn to rule by her side, even going to law school. Unfortunately, he ignored the terrible treatment by his frantic wife for fear of true loneliness until it was too late...

Now the kind prince turned into a terrible and manipulative shadow, using robbed souls and his smarts to grow as powerful as he is, growing to be the sole ruler of the Subcon Forest. He prefers to be in control and over-possessive of everything he deems 'his', including the terrible wife who killed him painfully. He despises her but deep down knows she's the only person who will ever truly care for him even as a monster so she gets to stay as his pathetic little toy <3

However, he can't help but enjoy the very small snippets of moments between them that remind him of a better time when they were young and naive. He can't help but smile as the princess Vanessa was once shines through that red mass of anger, oh how he wishes to rip open the beast and find his princess within it, safe and innocent as she used to be

Vanessa: She was once a kind and sweet princess filled with so much loneliness especially since her father ran away. On a visit to a foreign kingdom, she was immersed in the large gallery of paintings depicting how she felt perfectly, lonely. She soon fell for the painter, a kind but mischievous prince who was just as lonely as she was. But her horrible mother was jealous of her daughter's happiness and poisoned her heart and mind with her evil words, reminding the princess of her father who ran away. The princess' desperate thoughts turned dark and possessive, wanting the prince all to herself, even getting rid of her mother who she thought wanted her prince. The now Queen was more desperate, her heart and mind growing darker and bitter with each day that passed without her beloved... Soon it would all explode, taking every soul within Subcon with her.

After a few years of mindless wrath and pain, she 'cooled down'. Finally gaining sense and guilt, but since no one wished to accept her apologies, she learned not to care over such matters anymore. Her heart grew bitter, cold, and uncaring of much but the evil monster her beloved became. His very existence enrages her, reminding her that her kind sweet prince is gone and all she has is this thing, this terrible and evil shadow who took everything from her. But even so, she can never get rid of him, for he is the only one who will 'care' for her, who could relieve her of her loneliness even if his actions are cruel and taunting. She doesn't want to be truly alone, but he is the only one she can truly trust, so he is the only intruder who will remain safe from her terrible wrath even if she hates him so. Though she knows her prince is gone, she relishes the small brief moments she could see a flicker of him through the monster's wicked being. Oh, how she wishes she could grab her prince in that brief second and never let him go.

Moonjumper: He was once a naive but adventurous lad, a time traveler who shone bright with the moon. Crashing into the strange planet, he met a cold princess whose heart was as cold as ice. He felt understood as he didn't understand what love was either, so he decided to stay with the princess and become her king to find out what love was. They soon had a princess who they named Vanessa. The king loved his daughter very much but didn't love his title or his wife, for he was a being of freedom. Without confronting his wife, he planned to take Vanessa and escape, but he left her behind once his wife figured out his plot. His wife, who grew to love him, was heartbroken and distraught over his betrayal, and so she cursed him with her magic to death, over and over again.

The man became a distorted time rift, cold and alone, wanting nothing more than to find someone to stay with him in his lonely horizon, especially his little princess.

Hundreds of years have passed, and he watches on with great pain as the sweet girl his daughter was once turned into a monster. All thanks to the monster who took over Subcon with that disgusting smirk, he made his daughter the monster she is! And she was no better! Being easily influenced by that monster and turning into a monster herself, they were both horrible beasts! Both were responsible for taking away his little princess! Once he has the chance, he'll get rid of them both! But since he is much weaker and scared of them, he'll abide his time until he can finally avenge his sweet daughter. For now, he searches for someone he could keep in his lonely prison, someone who he can raise to be just as perfect as his little princess...

[naffeclipse]

Naff! Naff! I finally read the last chapter of Song Fish!! Let me just start with saying that I am not normal about this chapter, not at all. There's so many things happening here that make me go INSANE in the BEST WAY!!!

Enjoy my essay!! XD

(Sorry, it gets a little gory at one point)

I HATE (hate-love you know~) how Circus forcefully gives y/n air and then drag them underwater again. She's so insanely cruel. Treating y/n like they're nothing more than a tool. I love how you made her into just a villain. Part of me for some reason thought that she would be some kind of anti-villian who didn't wanna just straight up kill you for personal gain, but man I was so wrong! Djfkfjhfjr

The dread and hopelessness we're immediately thrusted into and have to endure through the first half of the chapter is so well done and sets the tone so well! The glimpses of hope through the living nightmare y/n is going through keeps both y/n and the reader hoping for all this to end, it was hard to breathe sometimes and I could imagine the absolute darkness so vividly.

The absolute terror of being stuck in a sunken ship at the bottom of the sea.. that's the most terrifying place to be. It's like being stranded in space. Y/n really got the iron lung experience huh..

The visual I got whenever Circus was in the air pocket was striking. The way she lights up the entire space and water below in red is terrifying and in ways beautiful. Her giant green eyes have been seared into my mind and retinas somehow, I can visualize them so clearly against the red glow of her body.

Her tentacles snatching up y/n, squeezing and tossing them around in this already claustrophobic space sounds like literal hell and how y/n tries desperately to wipe the slick slime from Circus' tentacles away after she's let them go makes me cry :'0

It's terrifying how she can manipulate and control y/n so easily. Mers have all the control over their humans, knowing that fact makes me melt more over how sweet and caring Sun, Moon and Freddy are (and also Eclipse♥️). Just thinking back to Vanessa now and how Glitch controlled her like a puppet... I'm glad Circus never got that far with y/n..

Freddy saves the day!!! Aw Freddy, he's so sweet c': and oh my god Gregory what the hell are you doing out there with so many broken bones! I appreciate your help immensely but DAMN!!

Oh man and here's the fight! HERE'S THE FIGHT!!!

No no!! It's not fair, Sun stands no chance even when fighting back! Circus is a coward for forcing y/n to tell Sun not to fight,, she has the power to make it easier for herself yes and it's smart of her to use that power, but man it's cruel...

I feel like I say the same thing every time, but the way you write fight scenes between monsters is always so spectacular, bloody and filled with so much anger and heavy emotions. I'm blown away every time!!

When Circus's jaws opened up and her face pealed back I had to stop and celebrate! I'm so happy you kept that terrifying feature of hers and used it exactly like I did with my drawings of her! I'm just over the moon that my weird design turned out to be accurate to the fic! XD

She's terrifying! I love her! And hate her!

The tearing and slashing and biting AAAAA!!!! Oh god poor y/n having to feel what ALL THREE are feeling,,

Thank god for Freddy being there to stop Circus. The glimpses of fright finally being felt from her is SO SATISFYING! She screwed up majorly by messing with this group of mers and humans, and finally she's feeling that regret and fear for what she's brought upon herself.

They tore her head off!!?!!? Absolute BEASTS!!!!

I try to imagine how much that'd hurt but it's impossible. To Circus the pain stopped once her neck broke apart, but for y/n it persists. To feel every nerve snap, the skin tear, muscles rip and spine break and then the fading of consciousness on top of it all. And have all that pain stay after you're supposed to have died from it.. yeah I have no way to describe it and no way of imagining how that must feel. ....I'm not surprised y/n fainted.. though I do believe it was something more than just a faint..

*Deep inhale*

THEM!!!! FISHER AND ECLIPSE!!! IT'S THEM!!!!!!!

Oh I am not normal over our two y/ns meeting each other!! I screamed and cheered and nearly cried I was so happy to see those two again!!!

The way fisher is there to greet y/n and help guide them is PERFECT! And Eclipse being there too in his full glory, his beautiful red and orange colors against the bright white sky and dark star dotted ocean is striking. Absolute eye candy (which is funny to say cause it's writing, but you paint everything up so well so I can visualize it without any problems!)

I love this afterlife, or in-between life and death you've created, it sounds so peaceful and otherworldly.

Excuse me for a second as I scream into my pillow. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY TURNED INTO YOUNG VERSIONS OF THEMSELVES BEFORE THEY LEFT!!!! AAAAAAA MY HEART!!!!! I'M CRYING!!!!!! I love them so much,, fisher and Eclipse are so precious to me and I'm SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM AGAIN!!!

I love how you've tied these two stories together and how one of them even effects the other. I really wanna reread Deep Dreams, it's soon been a whole year since I first read it!

Fisher and mer Eclipse hold a special place in my heart. I'm so happy you brought them back for this conclusion, it's a beautiful conclusion to their story too ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

I wonder how much Sun and Moon could feel when y/n was under. Could they sense the presence of another great mer near their human or see what y/n was seeing? Or did they feel nothing, nothing at all, and for a moment thought they had lost the person they live for? My brain goes brrrrrrrrrr when I think about it~

They're like cats! Since when were they like cats!? They're licking each other's wounds!! AAAAA SWEETIES!!!

Can I ask again what kind of sailboat this new one is?? Aaaa they're painting it so prettyyyy!!! :'D

YES GO TO THE ABANDONED SHACK!! YEEES FIND THE SEASHELL!!! YEEEEES PUT IT WITH THE OTHERS WHERE IT BELONGS!!!! I'm not normal pdkdjdkd

Naff oh my god!! I loved this so much!!! NAFF I'M RATTLING YOU!!!! Thank you for this wonderful story, I enjoyed it immensely all the way through♥️

I hope you enjoyed my many thoughts pdjddskdj and I hope you're doing well! Remember to take care of yourself a little extra now when you're stretched thin between responsibilities and school stuff. Remember to stretch, hydrate and get plenty of rest~

Until next time I scream in your inbox, take care! I love you! ♥️♥️♥️

Meep, I am enjoying your essay wholeheartedly, you have no idea!!!

Oh my gosh, Y/N is getting the iron lung experience ;-; Too many terrifying situations under the oceans these days!

Yup, that's what poor Vanessa went through! Fisher Y/N thankfully never had to find out what a terrible mer could do with such a bond, but I wanted to explore that concept more, and who better than our fearful little Y/N trying to do their best?

BABE I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THE RETURN OF ECLIPSE AND FISHER Y/N!!! It was one of my favorite scenes to write!

As for what the boys felt when Y/N was gone, it was a stark emptiness. The strict feeling of something needing to be there but wasn't. It was so out of place and terrifying. The boys were truly scared that they had lost their little seashell.

The next sailboat is a sloop as well! Y/N got pretty attached to that type hehe

Ahhh, I'm rattling you in return!!! I'm so glad you'll tell me your thoughts on it and I'm even happier that you enjoyed it all!!!

I'm doing good, thank you! I hope you are, too, and make sure you take it easy on yourself ♥ I love you, too!!!

[awakefor48hours]

Magluck Week 2023 1|| Day 2 -- Soulmates

[Fanfiction.net] || [AO3]

The Threads That Bind Us

Fandom: Black Clover Relationship: Magna/Luck Characters: Magna Swing, Luck Voltia, Vanessa Enoteca, Rouge | Vanessa Enoteca's Cat Additional tags: Soulmates, magluck week 2023, no beta we see where my sleep deprived brain takes us

Summary: Vanessa can see threads of fate, she's always been interested in one connecting Magna and Luck the most. Day 2 of Magluck Week 2023 -- Soulmates Anime friendly

Day 2 of Magluck week. I could not for the life of me write for yesterday’s theme but I could for today’s theme which is soulmates.

Ever since Vanessa first summoned Rouge, she could not only control fate but she’s also able to see fate. Threads of fate to be exact. It was surprising to her at first but after observing she’s been able to understand the threads and their properties. The threads took on 4 different colors, yellow, green, red, and black, each with a different meaning. The yellow threads meant platonic bonds, green threads meant family bonds, red threads meant romantic love, and black thread meant enemies. However, these threads would only show themselves once these feelings appeared in at least one of the individuals and would glow brighter the stronger these feelings got. 

Her abilities didn’t stop there though. She learned that with interference of Rouge, she could manipulate the soulmates to get closer together. This means if Rouge touched a soulmate with a yellow thread, it could end with them spending some quality time together. 

Manipulating and changing fate is quite a powerful ability and ever since she discovered this ability. She never told anyone about this ability of hers and she did her best to avoid looking at anyone’s thread to respect their privacy. As much as she did want to respect the privacy of others, she was still only human and curiosity would get the better of her from time to time. 

There was always one thread that piqued her interest and it was Magna and Luck’s thread. She had surmised that these two were soulmates and when she first looked for their thread, she saw nothing. 

This worried her because if they didn’t have a thread then they weren’t friends nor family, leaving only two threads left, lovers or enemies. She hoped it wouldn’t be the latter but after the absence of the thread, she started to fear the worse. She loved these two and the potential of seeing them becoming enemies would sometimes keep her up at night. But she still kept this to herself, it wasn’t right to even look at their thread to begin with. 

The fight was long and hard. Luck was already a really strong fighter and the fact that his mana was increased practically made him an unstoppable juggernaut. Even though she had Rouge on her side, there were times when she thought she was going to die. Her mind was flooded with a million questions and one of them was what thread now connects Magna and Luck. She hoped that they didn't have a black thread now but these questions would go unanswered since this fight required more of her attention. Once they were all safe, Vanessa couldn’t help herself. Once Luck and Magna had stopped hugging, she finally saw it. She saw a red thread connecting Luck and Magna and she couldn’t be happier for them. Clearly Luck didn’t know how to handle these new emotions, so instead of just saying a simple thank you, he decided to kick Magna directly in the face. She wished she could've indulged in the moment more but the elves were still a problem and required her focus more. 

But for a moment, she allowed herself to feel happy at the sight of a bright red thread. 

Nearly a month after defeating Zagred, things were finally starting to calm down and Magna couldn’t be more thankful. After everything that happened, Magna knew he had to get stronger not just for another attack but to continue being Luck’s rival. He worked to get himself stronger but it wasn't good enough and Luck had gotten such a boost of power. He had to keep working to get stronger.

Originally, he was planning to just train with Luck but there was something different Luck since their fight. It was such a subtle change that he didn’t even know how to describe it. He planned to ignore this change because it was so miniscule and there was chance that he completely imagined it but after nearly a month of this, he knew he had to talk to someone about this.

The best person to talk to about Luck's weirdness and other wise strange behavior was Vanessa, so he went to go find her. Finding Vanessa was quite an easy task, she was always either at the bar or on the couch. Today she was on the couch, downing a bottle of wine by herself as usual. 

"Vanessa, can I talk you about Luck for a bit?"

That seemed to grab her attention. She put her bottle down and patted the spot next to her and said, "sure. What do you want to talk about?"

Magna sat down and took a deep breath. He was really hoping that she would take this situation seriously and not use this situation to make fun of him. "Have you noticed that Luck seems... different lately." He didn't know how else to put it. "Ever since Asta saved him from that elf, he just doesn't seem to be the same as usual, y'know."

First there was silence, then Vanessa started giggling. “Magna, you’re so dumb, don’t worry about it." She then leaned closer to him. "Luck is just going through… let’s just say certain changes and I bet he's just taking out his pent up aggressions on you.”

Why did she have to make sense? Luck was possessed by an elf with uncontrollably rage that died hundreds of years ago. Even though Luck was pretty indomitable, that would overwhelm anyone. If that was the case, what should he do about this? This was such a unique situation that Magna had no idea how to talk about this. Was it even his place to even bring this up? 

As he was thinking, he felt Rouge start to rub her head on his leg. It's not that he hated Rouge, in fact if not for her, he would've died countless times a month ago, but he just wanted a warning if she was going to do this. “Vanessa, why is Rouge climbing on me?”

Vanessa grabbed Rouge and put her next to her face so they were both now looking at him. “Because she loves you and wants you to know you’re overthinking whatever you were just thinking about.”

He sighed and then spat out an agreement. She had a point after all, when does he ever think things through to begin with? He should just go talk to Luck to see if he needs anything. It was the right thing to do.

"I'm gonna go talk to Luck."

"Yeah! That's the spirit. Be normal!" She seemed just a bit too excited for this. Almost like she did something but it's not like she would anything that would hurt Luck so he chose to ignore it. 

Magna made it to Luck's room and knocked on his door. Luck quickly opened it and now that they were face-to-face, Magna started to regret this conversation a bit.

“Luck, I know things have changed this past month but... the thing is..." One of the things Magna liked about his relationship with Luck is that they never really needed words to talk to each other. Neither of them were exactly poets and their conversations would usually turn into fights. 

“I guess I just want you to know that you can always count on me to be by your side, no matter what.” He didn’t really know what he was even talking about. When he first walked over to Luck’s room, he felt a wave of determination wash over him but that wave was long gone now. It was so random and now he felt out of place and he probably already made the situation worse just by bringing it up. If this was really bothering Luck, he could bring it up himself.

“I’m sorry, I guess this is a bit weird to you. I’ll just leave you alone.” 

He started to walk away until Luck said, “Magna wait.” Magna almost didn’t listen. He wanted to keep walking but he should listen to what Luck has to say. “Things have changed and I don’t understand them.”

That got Magna’s attention, if Luck was going through changes that he didn’t understand, it must be serious. “How have things changed?”

“Mainly, I want things to be different between us.” What did he mean by different? Maybe with this boost in mana… he didn’t want to be rivals anymore. He didn’t want that. He cared a lot about Luck. Maybe a bit too much but why wouldn’t he? Luck had been his best friend for such a long time and for that to change was the last thing he wanted. 

Magna realized he was overthinking again, he just needs to ask for clarification. “What do you mean by different?”

“Well it’s like every time I think about you, I feel strange. I'm getting more excited when I think of you. I just always want to be around you all the time and it's all been new to me. But Magna..." Was Luck describing what he think he was describing? "I think I'm falling for you."

Magna needed a moment to think about what Luck had just said to him. Luck, his best friend, just admitted to falling for him. It was almost as if he got the wind knocked out of him but once the air returned to him, Magna knew what to say back. 

"I think I'm falling for you too. In fact, I think I have been for a while now."

How was this? I don’t know. I’m not used to writing characters like Magna and Luck so this was partially an experiment. I’m open to criticism. I meant to publish this yesterday but then classes got in the way and I forgot.

You can interpret each prompt as loosely or as strict as you want. Late submissions are 100% allowed. Most importantly, have fun.

[acacia-may]

If you're still doing your headcanon game, I would love to know your four headcanons about Vanessa.

Hi there anon! I am so sorry it has taken me a bit to get back with you properly. I would absolutely love to write some headcanons for Vanessa for you! She is one of my all time favourite Black Clover characters, and I hope you will like what I've come up with for her 🥰

Headcanons are below the cut! (Warnings: Mentions drinking, alcohol, retching, kissing, childhood trauma, nightmares, and abuse)

Headcanon A:  realistic

Vanessa helps to organize a lot of the fun activities, social events, and parties the Black Bulls have, and she has a bit of party planning committee with Charmy, Gordon, (and eventually Grey when she is comfortable joining up). They make sure everyone's birthdays get celebrated and Vanessa and Charmy especially are always thinking up reasons to have a party with everyone (for the food the booze but also because they want to spend time having fun with their friends 😂).

(Also)

Vanessa is Her Majesty the Queen of Witches' biological daughter. (A/N: They just look uncannily similar, and her fate manipulation powers share similarities with Her Majesty's future sight magic. Also, Her Majesty seems to have much more control and authority over Vanessa than the other witches. I know she really wanted Vanessa's power, but we don't see the Witch Queen locking up the other witches in towers and controlling their lives to the same extent even if she considers them all her "daughters").

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

As Her Majesty the Queen of Witches' biological daughter, Vanessa is actually the crown princess of the Forest of Witches so she currently outranks all of her companions (even Noelle who takes a lot of pride in the fact she is the "royalty" on the squad) and is one of the best-educated members of the Black Bulls. As she is next-in-line to be the Witch Queen, she has actual diplomatic skills and shrewd business sense--essentially she was taught to rule. However, since she spends most of her time intoxicated, it doesn't often dawn on her squad mates how strategic and intelligent she actually is. Under different circumstances, she would have made an absolutely fantastic, if a bit fearsome and formidable, monarch. She just has no interest in that kind of life after the way she was raised.

(A/N: I'm not sure how unrealistic that was so I'm adding another one. It has very slight Vanessa x Finral vibes though I'm really thinking it's more just Finral being Finral but just to warn you in case it's not your cup of tea you might want to skip this one. Also mentions retching and the offer of kisses) The first time Vanessa ever got drunk was with her squad in the early days of the Black Bulls (when it was (mostly) just her, Yami, Finral, and Gordon), and it was an absolute disaster. A goat got loose in their Hideout, her dress got completely ripped up as she tried to chase after it (leading to her penchant for walking around in her undergarments), and she (well-meaningly and somewhat innocently) offered to kiss all of her companions--Gordon politely declined as did the Captain who had had just about enough of all of this chaos (they don't pay him enough for this). Equally-intoxicated Finral was the only one who tried to take her up on it (because he's Finral), but she ended up retching on his boots so it was bad times all around. This all lead to Captain Yami's creation of the squad's "one rule" ("no babies on the squad") the very next morning (once everyone had sobered up). At the Captain's order, they are never allowed to speak of it again, and Captain Yami told Gordon to burn his observation diary. Surprisingly enough, however, none of this deters Vanessa from drinking ever again.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

For several years after Vanessa left the Forest of Witches, she was utterly terrified of the dark. She could not sleep unless she had a candle lit in the room because she was so afraid that she would wake up in the dark prison of her tower. She also suffers terrible night terrors due to the trauma, and candlelight helps ground her when she wakes up from them. Though she tried her best to hide it as not to cause any trouble for her friends, Gordon, Yami, Finral (and Henry) always (subtly) made sure she had plenty of candles.

(Also)

One of Vanessa's greatest fears is being a burden on others. After escaping her terrible situation in the Forest of Witches, she goes out of her way to help others and give them the love and support that she never had growing up, often taking the role of everyone's "Big Sister" and a shoulder to cry on for her friends. However, she finds it incredibly difficult to be able to be vulnerable enough to allow them to return the favour because she doesn't want to add to her loved one's troubles or drive them away by being "too much" for them (or so she fears). She became an expert at hiding and swallowing her own pain and became so dependent on herself for everything that it is difficult for her to seek help, comfort, and support from others. She tries to keep things light, cheerful, and focused on other people, when inside she has a lot of deep, internal pain and suffering from the absolutely horrific things that she has been through in her life that she refuses to address or tell anyone about, constantly assuring them that she's fine and urging them not to worry about her. Most of her squad had no idea about the kind of suffering and abuse she endured prior to joining the Black Bulls until after the visit to the Forest of Witches because she is such a private person about her past and always seems so happy. Her happiness is genuine, but her past is a bit like "the monster in the closet" for her--locked away and ignored but always still there. Her desire to make others happy is also incredibly genuine, it is just sometimes difficult for Vanessa to believe that she herself deserves to be happy as much as her friends as there is still a part of her who blames herself and her flaws and "weakness" for her abuse.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Vanessa has a Clover Kingdom grimoire because her biological father was from the Clover Kingdom, and she is actually part of the Clover Kingdom nobility (though from a lesser noble house which is not very prestigious or influential and has mostly mediocre magic). Vanessa's magic was mostly inherited from her father who had string magic (which he mainly used for sewing, tailoring, or replacing strings on his violin). The fate manipulation component comes from a combination with her mother's, Her Majesty the Queen of Witches', future sight magic (which had been Her Majesty's plan in having Vanessa all along as she could foresee that a combination of her own future sight abilities and string magic could result in Vanessa's power to manipulate destiny which the queen desperately wanted). Vanessa doesn't know anything about her biological father or his family, and, if anything, assumes her father is probably dead; however, he is still alive and heartbroken at having been separated from his daughter by the Queen (he loved Vanessa and would have been a good parent if given the chance). One day (after the end of the series), she will eventually find her biological father and they will be reunited with each other.

[rainbow-spiral]

There’s An App For That

“So does it bother you,” Joel said, tapping at his phone, “that I can essentially remote control you with this app?”  He was sitting in the armchair across from her.  Wearing significantly more clothes than she was at the moment, but, at the moment, even underwear would have been more clothes.

Vanessa writhed.  Her hands were pinned above her head, and more than anything else, she needed to touch her nipples.  Not her clit, not her cunt, just her nipples.  The power of the urge made her pant.

Joel tapped the phone again, and the insistent rhythm inside her cunt changed.  The force pinning her hands disappeared.  She gasped as her hands flew to her breasts.

“Because every time I change the vibe rhythm,” Joel went on, “it changes what you have to do.    I can make you quiet, I can make you loud, I can make you need to suck my fingers more than you need air—there’s a pattern for everything.  All controlled from this phone.  How do you feel about that?”

“Makes me,” Vanessa gulped out, “so wet.”

“And I’ve thought of subtler ones, too, for when you’re in public.  I can make you distractingly attracted to the next man you see, or distractingly attracted to the next woman.  Sensitize your mouth, sensitize your breasts.  You’re going to have that vibe inside you often, from now on.  I think you’ll get to where you don’t even notice.  Only sometimes—“  He tapped.

Vanessa’s breasts were nothing.  They were irrelevant.  Her hand flew to her clit and began making circles.

She didn’t know how many patterns there were, or what they did.  She knew she had written a list, and she had no idea what was on it.  She had blinked her way out of deep hypnosis, Joel stroking her hair, and only realized what had happened to her when the vibe inside her started to pulse, like a bass beat, turning her instantly into a stripper, strutting and showing off and slowly removing her clothes for him.

“And you usually get home before I do,” Joel pointed out, “so I could just turn this on from work, leave you helplessly finger-fucking yourself until I get here.  Which do you think?  Make it so that you can’t come, or make it so that you can—but you have to pace yourself because you won’t be able to stop your fingers?  There’s a setting for either.”

“Don’t even know,” Vanessa gasped, bearing down.

“Hmm.  Well, I’ll leave it as a surprise, then.  Any requests, love?”

“Just—use me.  App me.”

“You have to tell me,” Joel instructed, “how it makes you feel.”

“How it—it’s incredible.  You can turn me up, turn me down, turn me off or on, I’m completely controlled by my cunt and you completely control my cunt and—God.”

“Good slut-puppet,” Joel said.  “I love it when you own what you are.  As it happens, there was a setting that I was looking forward to—“  He tapped.

The pattern changed.

And abruptly, Vanessa needed a cock in her mouth more than anything.  She lunged agross the space between them, ripped Joel’s zipper downward, and had her mouth on his underwear before she realized that wasn’t going to satisfy her.  She didn’t need cotton, she needed cock.  She whimpered and yanked desperately at his clothes.

“Wonder what would happen if I left you like that?”

Vanessa whimpered again.

“Oh, all right.  Here.”  He pushed his trousers and his underwear down far enough for his cock to spring free.

“Mmffff,” Vanessa said, taking it into her mouth.  She needed this, if anything, more than she had needed her hand on her clit, more than she had needed her hand on her nipples.  This, this . . .

“Of course,” Joel said, “I can increase the intensity of your arousal, as well as your need to obey the setting, by increasing the intensity.”  He manipulated a slider on his phone.

“Mmmfff!”

“So I could give you a very slight need to suck cock, and then turn it up as the evening goes on.  There are all kinds of possibilities in this, aren’t there?  Remote controlled vibes are great investments.”

“Mmmff.”

“Remote controlled wives are even better.”

“Mmmff.”

My buymeacoffee link!  Reminder that I am currently donating all proceeds to Black Lives Matter.

[kindaeccentric]

When I was writing my university bachelor's degree thesis (that I'm still to defend) about Penny Dreadful as a modern adaptation of Frankenstein I noticed how the original novel's homoeroticism is realized by the series in an interesting way.

In the way he is presented, it seems to me that Victor secretly desires men, but thinks that only through creating a perfect one by himself he's allowed to touch other man's skin. His endeavour to pierce the veil between life and death is an excuse, since Victor from the series grew up lonely after the death of his mother and he searches for companionship, for someone who would love him unconditionally, like his mother used to. He believes he can find such love only in a person he creates himself, brings from the dead, and who would see him as his only friend, calm and obedient. Yet his first instinct is to make a man, not a woman, and a handsome man at that.

I can imagine both Rory Kinnear and Alex Price are not everybody's cup of tea (I do find them attractive, they are quite charismatic), but the way the original Creature and Proteus are shown makes them attractive. Proteus we see through Victor's eyes, when he is tending to his body before its even reanimated, when he sketches him (a sure sign of affection) and when he teaches him how to eat in a way that becomes seductive, because of how the camera lingers on his lips and then, in a closeup, on his fingers running down his long throat, immediately bringing to mind erotic imagery. Some may argue that Victor tries to emulate the relationship between his mother and himself taking the parental role and projecting onto Proteus the role of his childhood self, and as much as it is partially true, their relationship bears these marks of hidden desire on Victor's part from the start. The image at the end of the first episode when Proteus is born shows Victor trembling, teary-eyed, looking at the body, a torn and stitched back together, but human body, of a naked man. He's afraid, but not necessarily of the man, but of finally getting what he wanted, it's a fear resulting from excitement. Then the man is touching his face tenderly and Victor, still trembling, cannot stop himself from a little smile. Their faces are softly illuminated by the orange light of the gas lamp, creating an intimate atmosphere of a warm bedroom. Victor practically gasps hearing his own name smoken by Proteus. I doubt all of it was intentional in the way I read it, but it doesn't change the fact that the final scene can be easily interpreted this way.

Then the original Creature, with the violence surrounding his return, presents him as highly masculine, smart, powerful, a direct opposite to the delicate, clueless Proteus Victor could easily form into whatever he wanted. The Creature throughout the entire series is perceived as ugly by some and easily tolerated by others, making his ugliness purely subjective, since, despite his small deformities he remains strangely alluring with his gothic qualities (black long hair, black lips, white skin, yellow eyes, proportional features) of a dark brooding gentleman. With blood on his face he becomes vampire-like (vampires always a symbol of hidden desires and 'depraved' sexuality, the Creature and Victor becoming a mirror image of Vanessa and vampire Mina, both Creature's and Mina's monstrosity an indirect result of Victor's and Vanessa's desire towards having a same-sex companion). The Creature touches Victor's face, a callback to Proteus doing it, but the Creature is not gentle, he smears blood all over Victor's face (blood in vampire narratives was always a symbol for other bodily fluids, that's why it seems so sexy, it also gained another meaning in the 80s, due to the HIV epidemic, which no filmmaker can shake off if they tried, I could discuss it more with The Lost Boys, but no time for that right now).

The dynamic between Victor and the Creature is a reversal of Victor's budding relationship with Proteus, experience winning over innocence. Victor is under another man's rule, and it terrifies him, because it would force him into a position of having to admit his attraction, whereas as the one in control he could have still easily deny it. The Creature, with all his attributes, symbolizes carnal love, he's all 'body', where Proteus was virginal, pious love (to an extent). In one of the scenes where we see Proteus he looks up into the skylight at Victor's apartment and appears angelic, as if in a halo of white light.

It's revealed Victor never had a woman, and the series wants the viewer to believe it's because of his awkwardness and passion for science that consumed him, but his dedication to creating himself male companions instead of searching for a living female one is exactly what makes him seem more queer coded.

It's clear that the lack of paternal figure results in Victor quickly becoming close with older men he encounters (Sir Malcolm, Van Helsing), but it also puts him into a position where he's constantly surrounded by men, with whom he feels more at ease, and is intimidated by women. The rivalry between him and Ethan is that of siblings, until the moment when Ethan teaches him how to shoot a gun. It might be a stretch (it is a bit of a stretch, I admit), but a gun often, especially in horror, alongside a knife, represents manhood and masculine power. Victor allows Ethan to touch him and encourages him to show off with the gun, which is a scene all too familiar from many other movies where the role of Victor is reserved for a woman and the interaction is flirtatious (can't pull examples out of thin air, but if you saw over 1400 movies like me you know I'm not lying). All this adds to the general image of Victor.

The Creature and Victor, when they are on a walk, have a very revealing conversation in which the Creature points out how quick Victor was to grow attached to his more perfect man, and Victor doesn't deny it, he admits that he did in fact feel affection towards Proteus, although the meaning of it as the scorned past partner expressing jealousy over the love he didn't get while someone else did is largely subtext. When the Creature says that he's lonely, Victor answers 'I cannot love you' (paraphrase, because I can't find the exact quote right now) and the Creature, disillusioned, mocks him, 'I do not want what you cannot give' suggesting that Victor, by making himself a meek obedient man, is selfish, cruel, manipulating, and a coward, therefore could not have loved Proteus truly. Then again, Victor cannot bring himself to love his original Creature, because he's not the ideal man he envisioned and by then the Creature being too aware of his flaws of character. The Creature/Caliban/John Clare knows that Victor is 'monstrous', not just because he's someone who desecrates dead bodies, plays God and abandons his creation, but because of his queer desire. It's important that in the case of Penny Dreadful 'monstrosity' signifies many different things, literal (being a vampire werewolf, witch, and so on), metaphorical (bad deeds, like letting your son die a horrible death, cheating, killing etc.) and wholy subjective, merely condemned by ignorant society (Sembene's blackness, Brona's sex work, Lily's want to be equal or greater than men, Vanessa's want for sexual freedom, the Creature's ugliness, Angelique being transgender and other cases), so it's NOT that much of a stretch this time.

We also have the whole problem with Lily. Victor is so attached to Lily (who takes up both Elizabeth's and creature's bride parts in the novel) because he believes that only by possessing a good woman he'll be redeemed for his 'sinful' desires, but he's foolish to think that. This belief reduces a woman to a semi-maternal, semi-virginal angelic ideal with no sexual urges or agency, like virgin Mary. Lily is a true replacement for Victor's mother, and his imagined redemption. As long as she's similar to Proteus, in that she's not sexual, and pure like an angel. Yet Lily is not a woman in that sense. She is another of Victor's creatures, so she partially also takes over the role of the original Creature from the novel, a male. She's not an ideal of a Victorian obedient wife, she has power, or tries to have it, but power in the context of patriarchal society is masculine by nature. The moment she drops her pretenses of a weak delicate wife-like girl Victor does not want her like this. He doesn't want a woman that is sexually liberated, because he doesn't like women in this way, and yet, by being similar to the first Creature (from Victor's perspective, from hers John Clare is similar to Victor-a man, I could delve into Brona's sexuality, but later, this thing is already way longer than I intended) she's 'the man' he wanted.

There is also Henry. Henry Jekyll takes the role of his namesake in the novel, Henry Clerval, Victor's closest friend, and a character most often cited to have homoerotic tension with Victor. It's true that some of the eroticism might be accidental, stemming from the prevalence of homosocial interactions in 'Frankenstein' which in turn is a result of misogynistic nature of 19th century Genevian society and in-novel universe reflecting it, but like I mentioned before, it still feeds into the queer reading of the text and translates beautifully into Jekyll and Victor being both extremely misogynistic towards Lily and their mutual homoerotic tension. In the scenes where Henry purposes his plan to Victor he practically seductively purrs it into his ear, Lily becomes merely a female buffer that allows for that interaction, a female presence which is an excuse for male closeness (here I have a couple of examples actually: Dead Ringers, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Scream (in a roundabout way, through murder) and a couple others, but that deserves its own article). I won't even mention more references to the novel, because that's a lot already.

Penny Dreadful, although I believe largely unintentionally, expands on what is already there through the changes it introduces in relation to the novel's plot. I have nothing else smart to say, I just think it's worth considering.

*I use the word 'queer', because that's the umbrella term we use in academic writing for years now and even our lgbt+ group at university is called 'queer', so don't come at me with stupid takes

[rinzay]

Sup, this isn't really an idea, but more of an explanation of how the possession worked in my idea list. I thought you might be interested in reading it!

Prelude: How the possession in my outlines worked

I have noticed that a lot of people are a bit confused on how the possession here works, so I wanted to clarify it with this little addendum of sorts. My version would have Vanessa initally black out occasionally for the first month or so after her initial possession. They would happen more specifically when she has her therapy visits. This is also where GlitchTrap/Afton attempts to rewrite her childhood memories to include an abusive father figure (presumably like him) to try and make her more obedient.

This is contrary to Vanessa's actual childhood, which was fairly standard and had 2 normal loving parents. It should be noted that in this universe they died in a car crash the year before the events of Help Wanted. All the therapists would play along as a way to diagnose her (or something idk) before eventually telling her that her memories don't line up with what her patient report sheet (or whatever they use) says about her childhood.

This gets rid of all the work Glitchtrap puts in and Vanessa original memories come back the overwhelming shock of which causes her to freeze up, and during this time she blacks out and Glitchtrap takes control of her and kills the therapist. He would then get her back to her apartment where she would regain consciousness and be none the wiser to her therapists fate. Controlling Vanessa directly takes a lot of energy from Glitchtrap and tires him out since he isn't intended to "control" humans just be manipulative. This is why he can't take direct control of Vanessa and has to resort to attempting to mentally gaslight her.

This happens 5 times before Glitchtrap says "screw this" and decides to create Vanny. He doesn't really want to do this, as he will be creating a different persona. This persona will be "programmed" to be subservient to him. However there is always a risk that since they are effectively their own person, this seperate personality can decide to not listen to the instructions correctly or do them their own way. They can also have their own goals that conflict with Glitchtrap's (something that you see in idea 6). He doesn't see any other way however, and is getting impatient and wants to start being evil again quickly. So he creates Vanny out of his own agony power thing and some of Vanessa's emotions. He uses ones that are still hurting from her parents death, duplicates and then corrupts them beyond all recognition.

Vanny is "made" (for lack of a better word) to control things directly, unlike glitchtrap. As such, the experience is now completely different. At her last therapist visit, Vanessa is forced to watch herself kill someone for the first time, starting off the worst 6 months of her life.

I hope that cleared up some confusion. If it didn't, let me know!

OOOOO that's interesting, glitchtrap I would love to stab u.

So Vanessa would have 'black outs', was she aware these blackouts were happening? Or were her memories on of before the appointment, leaving no memory of the therapist.

If she did, I wonder If she would get it checked or if she considered it a problem far too late.

If Vanny were created from Vanessa's emotions stemming from the death of her parents then it would mean; grief, longing, sadness, and anger is comming to play. When twisting those emotions I guess you get someone who is Possesive and Violent.

Vanny got some twisted morals since those are not only just regular emotions but very strong ones aswell if the accident was recent. If it wasn't then the 'black outs' glitchtrap has been causeing would definitly add some uneeded stress to her, when you are stress you are emotional so you could think of the stress factor as a multiplier!

Every Virus has a firewall, could Vanessa potentionally atleast resist Vanny's hold for a few seconds? Or even stall her movements through sheer will? Or would it be that she is completely helpless and all that she could do is watch her body move at someone elses command?

JJDVWJWHWJW Your possession idea is interestin, JDBSJSBFJ

[starry-skies-116]

Sup, this isn't really an idea, but more of an explanation of how the possession worked in my idea list. I thought you might be interested in reading it!

Prelude: How the possession in my outlines worked

I have noticed that a lot of people are a bit confused on how the possession here works, so I wanted to clarify it with this little addendum of sorts. My version would have Vanessa initally black out occasionally for the first month or so after her initial possession. They would happen more specifically when she has her therapy visits. This is also where GlitchTrap/Afton attempts to rewrite her childhood memories to include an abusive father figure (presumably like him) to try and make her more obedient.

This is contrary to Vanessa's actual childhood, which was fairly standard and had 2 normal loving parents. It should be noted that in this universe they died in a car crash the year before the events of Help Wanted. All the therapists would play along as a way to diagnose her (or something idk) before eventually telling her that her memories don't line up with what her patient report sheet (or whatever they use) says about her childhood.

This gets rid of all the work Glitchtrap puts in and Vanessa original memories come back the overwhelming shock of which causes her to freeze up, and during this time she blacks out and Glitchtrap takes control of her and kills the therapist. He would then get her back to her apartment where she would regain consciousness and be none the wiser to her therapists fate. Controlling Vanessa directly takes a lot of energy from Glitchtrap and tires him out since he isn't intended to "control" humans, just be manipulative. This is why he can't take direct control of Vanessa and has to resort to attempting to mentally gaslight her.

This happens 5 times before Glitchtrap says "screw this" and decides to create Vanny. He doesn't really want to do this, as he will be creating a different persona. This persona will be "programmed" to be subservient to him. However there is always a risk that since they are effectively their own person, this seperate personality can decide to not listen to the instructions correctly or do them their own way. They can also have their own goals that conflict with Glitchtrap's (something that you see in idea 6). He doesn't see any other way however, and is getting impatient and wants to start being evil again quickly. So he creates Vanny out of his own agony power thing and some of Vanessa's emotions. He uses ones that are still hurting from her parents death, duplicates and then corrupts them beyond all recognition.

Vanny is "made" (for lack of a better word) to control things directly, unlike glitchtrap. As such, the experience is now completely different. At her last therapist visit, Vanessa is forced to watch herself kill someone for the first time, starting off the worst 6 months of her life.

I hope that cleared up some confusion. If it didn't, let me know!

Your ideas are amazing as always! And yes, this has cleared up the confusion for me- I've seen a few AU's where Vanny is quite literally an alter ego in conflict with Vanessa!

Man your AU's starting to make me hate Vanny and William even more lmfao-

[volgdemagischewinx]

love the talks about bloom and avalon! on the note of feeling guilty, do you think bloom would feel guilty for not noticing? personally, i feel like she would have a lot of "i should've known. i should've realized. why did i let him take advantage of me?" kind of feelings. kind of like victim blaming herself :( and i think that would carry on to the others because bloom might express that and obviously they'd say no, it's not like that, but then they would feel worse because they should've known. and then it's just a cycle of all of them feeling guilty for what happened. honestly, i think even sky would feel guilty too, considering he immediately assumed that bloom liked avalon and didn't even consider that (fake) avalon was being a giant creep. but honestly, i think bloom might even avoid trying to figure out her past and family for a while.. :( like.. feeling so guilty that it could end up being a trigger for her :( (I FEEL SO BAD FOR THEM 😭)

Oh, she absolutely would! This is the same girl who blamed herself for "letting" the Trix take her powers in s1. She will find a way to make things her fault no matter what, and in this situation that would go extra hard because it involved someone manipulating her. She'd beat herself up not just over the fact that she put herself in a position where he could kidnap her, but also for confiding in him and letting him know she knew where to codex was(seriously we do not talk enough about how Bloom, who canonically hates lying, was forced to keep that secret for all of s2). She'd also be hard on herself for the Dark!Bloom thing itself even though she had no control over her actions there she still hurt her friends. No way would that not eat at her too

The way I see it going is that Bloom would be so focused on blaming herself for what happened, that she wouldn't even let herself process what was actually done to her? Like she only looks at the situation as her trusting the wrong person like a dumbass which lead to her being brainwashed into hurting her friends. She'd skip over the fact that she was kidnapped and held captive by Darkar entirely even though that alone would have been traumatizing as hell

agreed about the cycle of guilt thing too. I think Bloom would actively avoid talking about it to her friends beyond maybe trying to apologize both because she can tell it makes them feel bad and because she refuses to acknowledge herself as being the victim in that situation, and thus wouldn't think she should be comforted about it. But Bloom wears her heart on her sleeve so everyone still knows she's fucked up, and they're all mad at themselves over it to varying degrees, so it's just this endless spiral of guilt for everyone

I think with Sky it could go both ways. My interpretation of him is that his first response typically is to deflect guilt even in a situation where he is responsible(which he isn't in this one for the record, I may not like the guy but this was not on him) so it's hard to really picture him holding himself accountable here, but on the other hand since this is 2 seasons in it could actually be really interesting for his character development if he did, and it caused him to be more critical of his own behavior in general

Also yes my personal HC is that if Valtor hadn't showed up Bloom would have stepped away from figuring out her history for a while. Like you said it'd be a trigger for her, and she'd be afraid of it leading to more trouble. Also another underdeveloped Bloom s2 subplot is that she was already shown to feel guilty about her search because she was afraid it would hurt Mike and Vanessa! I feel like she'd take it blowing up in her face as a sign that she was right to feel bad, and that she got what she deserved for doing it anyway

[austennerdita2533]

Hey!

I love Penelope Douglas for sure check her out! She writes some of the best smut tbh. I’m working my way through her devils night series right now-I’m on book 2. It’s good so far, definitely dark though. I’m interested to see how she goes about a redemption arc for the character Damon right now I don’t think he deserves one but I hear such good things about his book, Killswitch, but that’s book 3 so I will see how it goes. I definitely recommend Birthday Girl from her though I loved it and the couple from it are my favorite age gap could I’ve ever read. I find myself still re reading some of their best moments.

I am slightly embarrassed by Credence though so I hope it doesn’t bother you too much if you read it. Just so you know before going into it, it is about her and her step uncle/cousins. To be fair they are not blood related and very distance to the point she didn’t even know about them. But she does call him Uncle Jake during a sex scene, and the two others call her cousin during one too. There’s also a MMF scene with her two cousins. But on top of that there is a sexual assault scene (it does get stopped but the intent is there)-personally I wasn’t a fan of how she inwardly dealt with that scenario it felt like she was blaming herself for it instead of holding the other character accountable. Uncle Jake also does kiss her when she is still 17. So if any of that makes you uncomfortable don’t read it.

I’m so happy you liked the atlas six as much as I did. I can’t believe we have to wait until next year for the sequel to see what happens. It’s too long!! I also liked Callum the least, I still appreciated his character though and what he brings to the story I just wasn’t a fan of his, probably because of his problems with Libby/Parisa. Plus his powers terrify me-as someone who likes to have full control of my emotions the fact that someone could just change everything scares me. I also loved Nico he is my typical character that I love the whole I’m an asshole but soft and caring for the people I love gets me every time. Parisa is my queen though I’m obsessed with her. Like I’m literally in love with her, I wish she was real so she could be with me instead. Not that she would because I’m broke have 0 magic or power to give to her, but still. But I have a thing for power hungry women so I was gone the second I met her. But anyway if she was real she could destroy me or do anything she wanted to me and I would say thank you. Reina I also love and agree she could destroy the whole planet and one day probably will. I just love how she is there and wants all that knowledge but also doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else. Tristan also grew on me I’m still not completely sure how much I like or don’t like him yet he gets annoying sometimes because he is constantly in his mind about his alliances but I also love how loyal and caring he is. Libby is my girl!! I also relate to her as well since I was an outcast and battled inadequacy and all that (you and I must have some stuff in common!) Out of all the characters I relate to her the most and am rooting for her so hard-also because the author made her from Pittsburgh and I’m also from the area so I felt personally attached. But Olivie just did an interview and said Libby is getting a corruption arc and I am so excited about it!!

Okay ships- so I will be honest and I think it’s an unpopular opinion but oh well-I am a nicolibby stan. They have every single dynamic that I love in a ship and they could potentially be my favorite book couple of all time if that is the road they are being taken. Honestly I was obsessed with them from their first interaction so i have it bad for them. Obviously I know they were not romantic in this book but the potential (at least for me) was there especially in some of their quotes in the end. I fully believe they are soulmates though-even the author said they were born on the same day and feel like their other half is missing in an interview once-whether that will be platonic soulmates or romantic soulmates I have no idea and I could see either happening. My heart will break if it is platonic but it’s okay I can just live in my own little head about their potential.

But I get the idea and also like both libbytristan and NicoGideon and could see those happening instead of nicolibby too. I wouldn’t say I would be mad about it either-I do like both just to me the potential of nicolibby works more for me! My only thing about libbytristan though is I’m not sure how much of their tension/feelings are real (like did any of it exist before Parisa put the idea of the other person in their thoughts to lead to all the feelings.)

Weirdly enough since they probably my least favorite characters I also adore Tristan and Callum together. Their dynamic just works for me.

And I love Parisa and Dalton too and I’m so interested in how that relationship pans out because they have some stuff to figure out. But they work well together and honestly they are just so sexy together so I’m down for it. Although I do ship myself with Parisa more than her and Dalton but I’m biased.

Honestly though all the ships are wide open though so I’m curious to see what ends up being endgame. But omg yes the twist I was not expecting it-I’m so excited for the rest of this trilogy!!!

In other news though I finished up the ravenhood series. I know you said you either read it or it was on your tbr. But god I loved it. That series broke me and then put back all the pieces. If you haven’t read it and want to feel both heartbreak and happiness I highly recommend it!

Oh and don’t apologize for babbling as you can tell I also babble!!

-ACOTAR anon

Hiiiii sweets!

I've been sifting through a bunch of summaries of Penelope Doulgas' work on Goodreads and there's a bunch of stuff there I think I'd enjoy. I'm all about good smut. I didn't realize she had that many books. I'm excited! Thanks so much for the rec! I love dark romances/erotica every now and again so I'm also going to have to dive into the Devil's Night series at some point.

Oh, and idk if you know about it/read it but a couple of my friends told me about the Crossfire series by Sylvia Day a while back. It's BDSM, like Fifty Shades, but supposedly loads better. I don't know if you're into that but I figured I'd just throw it out there anyway. The smut is supposed to be steamy. I haven't read it yet but I do have the first four novels on my Kindle (where they've been sitting, unread, for about 2 years now)...so that's something haha.

And please don't be embarrassed about Credence. Seriously, the most wonderful thing about reading is you can go wherever tf you want in your imagination. No one can stop you. There are no rules. No restrictions. You can be whomever or whatever you want to be for a while, morality notwithstanding. One of my favorite things about books is that I can experience the most bonkers, outlandish out-of-this-world stuff that I'd never dream of wanting/liking in real life. It's liberating!

Thank you for the trigger warnings, though. I appreciate that. None of them sound off-putting enough to keep me from reading it. (Tbh, I want to read it more now.) I've read loads of books where characters marry or have sex with their cousins or siblings *waves at ASOIAF, the Secret History* so it doesn't bother me. I've also read most of Lolita and all of My Dark Vanessa by Kate Russell, which both romanticize pedophilia in disturbing degrees, so it takes a lot to put me off. If curiosity could kill then I'd be long dead by now. Hell, sometimes I will purposely read things I know will upset me to my core. What can I say? I'm a weirdo. 🙃

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT A YEAR FOR BOOK 2 OF THE ATLAS SERIES, EITHER. AHHHHH. How am I going to make it that long? It seems so far away!

Callum is the most terrifying of them all right now, imo. I think that's why I disliked him the most. Like you, it shook me to my core to imagine someone like him being able to toy with my emotions. I have a tendency to detach, to keep my emotions pressed close to my chest so that I can't be manipulated or hurt, and the idea that someone could have power over them, over me in that way is...no freaking thank you! I would put as much space between him and me as possible. Most of the Atlas crew had the right idea there. He does bring a lot to the story, though, like you said. I have a feeling he's going to be one of those characters I "love to hate" as the series progress. I might even grow to "hate to love" him, idk. He's just such a shady bastard! And so judgmental/mean to the girls.

I'm with you on Parisa, by the way. She's the kind of conniving, ambitious siren of a woman I can get behind. She has a similar vibe as Katherine Pierce on TVD. I mean, there's nothing in her arsenal she won't use and I love how she weaponizes her beauty. It's delicius. She's unpredictable. Definitely the type of character who inspires "scared and aroused" energy any time she walks into a room. Like, she could choke you and instead of crying you'd just ask her to do it again...harder lol.

Reina has the same kind of "no fucks given" attitude I have because I genuinely don't care what people think of me, either. I'm just here to do my thing. Be nerdy. Learn. Whatever. And Nico is my fave for the same reason as you--the asshole who only has soft edges for those who matter to him. *heart eyes*

Omg, Libby is going to have a corrupted arc? AHHHHH. That's going to be amazing, I cannot stinking wait! I was sort of hoping she'd go dark so now that it's confirmed I'm even more pumped. Also, I think you and I have more in common than either of us realized. I'm from the Pittsburgh area, too! How wild is that? Maybe there's something in the water here and that's why, like Libby, we've both felt inadequate and like outcasts at different points in our lives? Olivie might be onto something here...🤔

The thing that's been so cool for me about this series so far is that there are a bunch of potential pairings I could get behind. And I kind of like that it's not clear cut right now. Most series I know who I want together or who will be together like halfway through book 1. I like that I don't know have firm preferences and am still open. That's novel. Not to mention fun!

I don't blame you for shipping Nicolibby so hard, though. They're definitely one of my top contenders for a romantic pairing. They have that enemies-to-lovers element with witty banter that I always gravitate toward. And you're right about Libby/Tristan. I don't know how much of their connection was manufactured because Parisa intervened, either. That'll be fun to puzzle out moving forward. And Callum/Tristan should NOT be a ship I like but they have a palpable something that I can't put my finger on. I've got my eye on them, for sure.

The Ravenhood series is still on my tbr. I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it so much, though! It's rare to read something that just ticks all your boxes. The next time I'm the mood to binge a series I'm gonna have to pick that one up. :-D

I've been trying to clear out my backlog of ARCs lately. (Not possible because I'm getting more on the regular - as in constantly haha - but I'm trying.) I just finished Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult, which has a Sliding Doors premise that is set during the pandemic where the main character has a parallel life experience (one, where she's in the Galapagos Islands on vacation when the shutdown hits so she's stuck there with strangers, alone, not speaking the language; the other, where she's in Manhattan with her surgeon boyfriend and recovering from COVID). It's intense but so, SO good! Picoult is such a good writer. Anything I've read by her has been moving, with rounded and real characters. I haven't been disappointed yet. I so recommend her.

Oh, and if you're into nonfiction/biographies at all I finished The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson not long ago, which is about Winston Churchill as well as those around him, and it was fantastic! Read more like fiction. I loved it. I am no longer surprised it was on all the BEST lists for 2020.

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

My notes on Lethal White episode 3

As usual, my poorly sorted and not-really-filtered thoughts on “Lethal White”, episode 3. Continued under the cut because ALL THE SPOILERS!

We’re back with Robin and cling-wrapped Chiswell. Holliday plays Robin’s tenuously controlled panic very well. The subtle trembling, the tears she forces back. She’s so good. 👏🏼

A two-week jump. These always jar me. Did that happen in the book?🤨

Another mention of Strike talking with Wardle, and again we don’t get to see him. Dang. I really miss his leather-jacketed wry humour. 😔

Of course they’re meeting at “The White Horse”. Where else? *Rosmersholm vibes*

The reveal about the bones was a bit anti-climactic, wasn’t it? It had a better effect with the skull, in the book. And how do you “accidentally” shoot a horse, even when it’s a small one? How much more are we supposed to hate Freddie? (This episode is just full of terribly behaving men)

Who are the kids playing with the dog? Pringle and Pong? Were those their ridiculous nicknames?

And here comes the “Knives Out” scene. 🔪The Chiswell family is such a loving bunch. *coughs*

Did you see the playful tension between Raff and Robin? And that little disconcerted look Cormoran casts them? Bit jealous, Corm? 😏

Raff’s sarcastic little throw-in remarks are really making this scene more fun. Gotta give him that: he adds a bit of “black sheep” dash to the family!

“KEYS!” 😁 Cormoran is like the adult stepping between a bunch of fist-throwing kids.

Cormoran and Robin are staring at the Chiswell’s bickering as if waiting for one of them to actually start spitting and biting.

Raff: “I’m sure our charming hostess means to offer you tea at some point.” 🤣

Cormoran: “I’m thinking it might be suicide after all. He couldn’t face another family gathering.” 😂

*grunts* We’ve all been there, haven’t we? (And I don’t even want to start thinking about Cormoran’s family gatherings…)

Hah! 🙋🏻‍♀️ I guessed right from the leaked stills: it is the hospital Billy’s in! (Cookie points for me!)

That staff woman gives off very sensible and caring vibes. They picked the actress well.

And, god, Billy carved the horse into his own chest? 😟 Good god…

Vanessa! And she looks good! And - unlike in the first series - she smiles! And is really NICE! (Wow, what a beautiful woman.) 😍

That little lounge corner in Cormoran’s office is new, isn’t it? Very cozy. ☕️🍪

Goth Robin! She looks awesome! 😍 (Excuse me, but have we traveled back into the 80s? She looks like half the people in my school back then.) And look at Holliday playing her: she even moves differently! This season must have been a lot of fun for her as an actress.

I love the Wiccan shop. I had one of those salt lamps (and a lava lamp too), but don’t tell anybody… ☺️

Cormoran’s FACE when he sees goth Robin! 🥰The double take, the pleased surprise, that touch of awe… He is so proud of her! (What a contrast to Matt the Twat’s derogatory reactions to her disguises).

Cormoran: “You liking Raff then?” Are we a teensy bit jealous again, Corm? ☺️

When he asked Robin what she was doing this evening, I held my breath. WAS HE GOING TO ASK HER OUT? 🤗 He wasn’t. 😔 Everybody calm down. It’s not happening yet. Unfortunately. And probably never will. *very long sigh*

It’s so cute how he can’t stop looking at her! 🥰I love her confidence. And his twinkle-eyed, soft grin that doesn’t seem to want to fade. He truly admires her, for her competence AND for her looks. ASK HER OUT YOU FOOL! *headdesk*

Lorelei. With coffee. Apologizing for saying “I love you”. Ack. And then Corm says “I was gonna call you.” (You weren’t, admit it!). I didn’t know what to feel when seeing this scene for the first time: shocked that they were still together? Sympathy for Lorelei? Mad at Cormoran’s lackluster ‘yeah, alright, whatever’ attitude? Very mixed emotions.

Cormoran following Aamir along the South Bank. Watch me pointing excitedly at the screen because I’ve strolled down that same boardwalk way back when traveling was still a thing. *flails* *misses London*

Aamir’s place. Why is Cormoran talking about food again? Robin hasn’t fed him biscuits today yet, has she?

Cormoran’s always a bit unnerving when interrogating someone. He uses friendly words, but there is that tiny bit of menace about him, an intensity and pressure… SIB Corm. Tom does that so well. 😎

“You gonna butter me?” Smooth moves, ex-Sergeant Strike! 🥋 Oh, I love seeing him in action! 🤗

Robin hides the phone, and I am a nervous wreck worrying someone’s going to call and her phone isn’t in silent mode! (enneagram type 6 here, hello…) 😬

I was waiting for Matt to be an absolute prick when he sees goth Robin, but he’s actually not. And he’s had the Green Dress mended. I like how the show gives him a few shades and doesn’t paint him as outrageously hateful as the book does. (jftr, we all still hate you, Matt!)

But then, the way he rushes at her with his “That’s not true” - why does it somehow feel like a physical threat? And wow, Robin is COLD. Dude, your marriage is over. You just haven’t been notified yet.

So we’re ignoring Lorelei’s calls again, Cormoran? *eyebrow lift* Is that what we do as a gentleman? And then he calls off dinner and has no more than a lame “Sounds good, I’ll call you” when she mentions breakfast? If he’s not invested at the mention of food, something is clearly wrong…

Della Winn, and they picked a blind actress for the role. Good for them! ✔️

So, help me out here, native speakers: Della says she can hear the West Country in Cormoran’s vowels, but to me he doesn’t sound Cornish. Am I wrong? To my ears, Tom is speaking in some sort of self-made accent that I can’t place, but it doesn’t sound anything like the Cornish burr Robert Glenister gives him in the audiobooks. Opinions? 🤔

Rhiannon’s story touched me in the book, and it touches me deeply here. A revenge murder would’ve made perfect sense to me.

The party. We’ve apparently time-traveled again.

“What’s ‘Becca’ short for?” 🙄

Ah! The note was hidden in the maxipads box! I seem to recall that, in the book, Robin hid the Houses of Parliament bugging device in a tampon box. Cool parallel.

VANESSA! HURRY UP! 😨

The chase. Good thing this goth girl wears sensible shoes! Nice trick with the crouching and tripping. Take THAT, Jimmy! Robin’s learned from past experience, and I love the addition of the chase that wasn’t in the book. Robin’s no longer a helpless victim. She is a FIGHTER! And - BAM! Perfect timing, patrol car! 🚔

Cormoran: “How did you guess where she hid it?” (Because that’s where girls hide stuff, darling. ONE good thing all the menstruating is good for at least.)

Quick shout-out to Tom Burke’s freckles. They really should be credited as supporting actors. 🥰

Btw, the navy jumper is not a jumper but a cardigan! I bet Tom was pleased. (And my shippy brain can imagine him wrapping a freezing Robin in it 💙)

Enter Lorelei. Here be dragons.

“You know, if you want a hot meal and a shag with no human emotions involved, there are restaurants. And brothels.”

Oooohhhh... 😳

Need ointment for that burn, Corm?

And she’s entitled! Cormoran’s old school gallantry seems to have gone MIA when it comes to treating Lorelei with the respect she deserved. Especially since he had his chance at ending it decently and respectfully at their earlier little talk over coffee. I still don’t think he meant to hurt her. It was thoughtlessness. Which is no redeeming factor at all. He deserved this, even in front of Robin. #TeamLorelei

Well, at least he didn’t get smacked with an ashtray this time.

I LOLed when Robin simply went straight back to business without commenting. A real pro. 😎

Cormoran: “That was a bit awkward.” Was it, Corm? We barely noticed. *snorts*

And although Robin defends him a little bit, her suppressed smirk and her work-life balance remark tell us she’s enjoyed this a bit. And not just because Cormoran is single again.

Matthew calls: “Sorry, it’s a work thing.” (NO IT ISN’T AND YOU’RE A LYING, CHEATING [REDACTED] !!!) 🤬

Robin steps on Sarah Shaglock’s earring, and now starts a scene that makes me want to shower Holliday in BAFTAs. 🏆🏆🏆 Heart wrenching, painful, powerful. And Matthew finally shows his true colours. (And Kerr Logan deserves a nod for his acting too).

On a completely irrelevant side note: Matt stole that coat from Darius Tanz, only that Santi looked hot as hell in it whereas Matt just looks like an accountant who pretends to look hot. (Go and watch “Salvation” if you have no clue what I’m talking about)

Robin is so bravely holding it together, and - wow - her coldness towards Matt is pretty impressive, and at the same time she’s forcing herself not to cry and fights down a panic attack. It’s amazing how she puts every emotion and train of thought from the books onto the table and we can read it in her face and in her voice and body language. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼Best scene of the season, if you ask me. (Not that anyone ever asks me, but here it is.)

“I’m not gonna let you fail again!” 😡 Aaaand Matt tries to put her down again. To make her feel weak and in need of help. BUT IT’S NO LONGER WORKING. She’s got this. Oh, she’s got this!

They left out Robin saying that he “doesn’t even have a knife”, and I’m actually glad they did. This didn’t need to be about physical assault again. Matt wouldn’t go that far, and it wasn’t necessary to go there. They clearly showed how manipulative he is and how strong Robin has to be to walk away from him, and that is enough.

The minicab driver. I remember the actress as Mrs. Fitz from “Outlander”, and she’s the perfect motherly tough love type to crack that marriage joke. And to get our girl out of there with no further fuss.

Whoa. I had high expectations. And they were met 10/10.

What did you guys think?

[ravensroleplays]

Well, this was a nice sight... The very last time Snatcher had seen his dear 'Princess' in life, she had him carried off to the dungeon to be imprisoned before cold and hunger took him. Now, thousands of years later, here Vanessa was, imprisoned before him. Okay, it wasn't one of Snatcher's own traps that had caught the ice witch, but he could still appreciate the irony. Or, well, he could if he weren’t so livid. "RELEASE ME!" The former queen demanded. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" The specter, currently in his human form, squeezed his chin, as if in thought, then shrugged, giving the most shit-eating grin he could. "Nah." "WHAT?!" The ice-cold fury was obvious in Vanessa's voice, but Snatcher didn't even flinch. Why should he be scared of his former abuser anymore? He was far more powerful now. And what was more, he had companions. Friends, who already had already helped him out a loud. A family, who he would do anything short of going back to stealing souls again to protect. Plus, those strings his comrades had wrapped Vanessa up in proved to be really strong. Snatcher narrowed his eyes as he glared up at the woman...no, the creature he had once loved. "I got those flowers for you, you know." He remarked, his voice almost as cold as Vanessa's ice. "That day way back when, when you had me locked up to die." He dared to step a little closer, yellow meeting red as their eyes locked. "I was paying the florist when you came. And for that, you had me locked away." Another step or two closer. "I died, the entire KINGDOM died, because of a simple misunderstanding. Because of your irrational, insane, jealousy. Look around you, 'darling'!" It took all of Snatcher's self-control not to let out a humorless, bitter laugh as he waved an arm around their surroundings. "All of this is because of YOU!" Vanessa was still for a good, long time. And then, she did something that genuinely surprised Snatcher. She cried. "All I wanted was YOU!” Vanessa sobbed. "I wanted you back...there wasn’t a day that passed that I didn’t miss you! I wanted to be with my prince again!” Her body shook a little more with sobs before waves of bitterness started to roll off of her.

"But what do I get for all my efforts?! All my magic?! An abomination that looks like it came straight from that accursed snake himself! I wouldn’t be surprised if that BEAST interfered with my spell somehow!”

Wait.

‘Snake’?

"Disgusting monstrosities, BOTH of them—that miserable little creature is better off DESTROYED!”

And like that, something inside Snatcher broke.

Whatever lingering attraction or affection he had left for this evil hag, even thousands of years later, was suddenly completely gone.

“...what did I ever see in you?”

"What?” The queen stared down at her ‘prince’ from where she was suspended in the air, and, before he could stop himself, Snatcher found himself laughing. Slowly at first, but then louder and harder, until he was clutching his sides.

“Not only are you manipulative, selfish, and unbelievably clingy and abusive, you’re as dense as they come!” Without waiting for Vanessa’s reaction, Snatcher pulled himself back up, his smirk only growing as he said “All these years later...and you still haven’t realized...”

And with that, his form grew and twisted as he changed back into his typical ‘noodle’ form, and he got the feeling that, if Vanessa still had a visible mouth, it would have fallen open as she screamed

"YOU?!” Snatcher held his arms out in a dramatic pose as he shouted

"SURPRISE!”

"You...all this time?!”

"I never left, ‘sweetheart’.” Snatcher confirmed as he loomed over Vanessa. "I just...changed a bit, since then.”

"You LIE!” Vanessa screamed, starting to flail in the strings. "You’re just trying to trick me! My Prince was sweet, and loving, and wonderful...he would never dream of defying me! You’re just...a MONSTER!”

Another harsh laugh escaped the huge ghost at that.

"I’m a monster?! I'm not the one who froze a whole kingdom full of people to death because I was having a hissy fit! And I'm not the one who tried to freeze one scared little girl solid, and treated another like garbage, since the day she was BORN, just for not turning out the way I’d hoped.” At that, his smile disappeared completely as he bared his fangs at Vanessa, fatherly instincts taking over again.

"You know, looking at it, maybe it’s a good thing we never had any kids together when we were both human...comes to find out you’re a terrible mother. You bring a new life into the world, a KID, and you act like she’s some horrible THING.” He shook his head in a gesture of mock pity, and Vanessa started to protest.

"She...IT, is! It just came out so wrong, so UNNATURAL...!”

"That doesn’t matter.” Snatcher snapped, crossing his arms. "She’s still a CHILD. A little girl who didn’t do anything to deserve the way you treated her. But you know what?” He raised an eyebrow. "You don’t want her? Fine. I'll take her...she was made from me, after all. She's just as much my daughter as the little girl I found as a baby and raised for seven years.”

With this, he loomed over his former love even more, narrowing his eyes at her.

"And if you do anything to hurt either of them, or any of my kids, ever again, I’ll make you WISH you’d perished along with everyone, and everything else all those years ago.”

With that, he turned to rejoin the others.

The specter was surprised to find how much...lighter he felt after that experience. It took a LOT longer than he would have probably liked, but he could now safely say that he had completely moved on from that evil woman.

And yeah, his hands might not have been clean, but at least he had been able to realize when he’d fallen too far, and start changing himself for his own sake, and the people around him, something Vanessa had proven herself far too selfish to do, no matter how much time had passed.

Whatever. Her loss...she had no one to blame for her isolation but herself. Let the former queen rule over her big, empty manor.

As for Snatcher...well, he had to get back to his family. ALL of them.

[jenchwuq]

🌟 ☕ 🦋 📚 for Cordelia, and any of your other vampires you'd like to focus on! 👀

Thank you for asking!!! (and sorry this took so long lmao)

I also decided to do this for Rob and Ana, so!

🌟 When your OC loses all hope, who do they turn to first? What helps make them feel better? What calms them down and reassures them? Why?

Cordelia: NINES. It’s always been Nines. At the end of a long, hard life she was. Pretty brutally reborn into almost the exact same situation tbh. But then Nines had her back when he didn’t even know her, and then their paths began to cross more and they found out they had a lot in common, and for maybe the first time in her life she felt heard and understood.

Rob: Julian lmao. He’s not the greatest sire, and he manipulated the hell out of them but. He’s always thinking ten steps ahead, and he’s honestly great to have on your side in a crisis.

Ana: Oh, this is a tough one. When she was with the Sabbat and bloodbound to a pack, I guess them? Particularly her pack leader when they were together. In modern nights though, she’s in a pretty dark place; she’s not great with emotions and would never admit it, but she’s really lonely and doesn’t have anyone, or any purpose, really. If anything, when she’s feeling particularly low she’ll re-read Julia’s last report. It makes her smile, and then she fantasizes about doing the same thing.

☕ Give us one (or more if you feel like it) of your OCs deep dark secrets! Why do they keep it hidden? Spill the tea!

Cordelia: She’s always been secretive, thanks to her gifts, but in recent nights, some of her secrets include: - Meeting Caine back in 2004. - She let Julius live (the Thinblood who blabbed vampire info to the screenplay guy) - I like the idea of her finding out a) Dru’s existence in the first place, and b) that she’s a hunter. That’d definitely be a weak point for her--she’d do what she could to steer her away from other Kindred, but she’d never expose her. And she’d rather let herself be destroyed than to allow any harm to come to her. 

Rob: THE DIABLERIE asdf;lksdjaf. Sure it ends up coming to light, and it’s still not something they like to advertise but. That was The Big One(™) for a long, long time. Currently...maybe the fact that they’re still in contact with Vanessa? I really ought to write up a proper post on how everyone fits into this particular tale but. Basically, Julian tried to rope Vanessa into his schemes but underestimated her big time and now there’s bad blood between the two of them. However, Rob and her always got along and are still friends. She’s the big sister they never had, and although they don’t love keeping secrets from their partner, he is being ridiculous, and they don’t have a lot of family left these days. In a similar vein, Rob’s not telling Vanessa a word of them and Julian’s plans lmaoooo. She may be enjoying retirement, but they know her well enough to know that may not last.

Ana: She had a Kuei-jin girlfriend when she was a fledgling, and that was top secret, for sure. More recently, probably her conflicted loyalties.

🦋 If your OC could change everything (or just something) about their life would they? What would they change? What do they think would happen if they did? What would their loved ones think?

Cordelia: How everything went down with her children. Tbh having her as a mother was traumatic, she failed them both pretty bad and she knows that. However, I don’t think she knows...what exactly she’d change? The substance use is kinda the obvious one, although human Cordie with her abilities at full power was....not so great either, a big part of the reason she began self medicating was that she’d scared the shit out of her son a few times when he was young. She doesn’t regret having them, but in a different world under different circumstances, she’d...probably have chosen not to have kids. In an ideal world, she’d have had a full grasp and control of her abilities, but ultimately if she was going to change something, I think she’d probably go back and surrender custody immediately after her husband’s death. It would have had its own dose of ugliness, but it’d. Minimize the harm? It was a rough situation all around with no easy solutions, and she knows this but she’s still sad about it.

Rob: Tbh they’re pretty pleased with their unlife at the moment! But in a perfect world, they’d love a chance to see their dad again. Just to be able to say goodbye and hang out with him one last time, and let him know they’re okay and they love him.

Ana: Ooooohh...everything? Ana hates her unlife tbh. The irony is that she is changing it, but it’s a long, slow metamorphosis rather than an instantaneous transformation, and she’s still figuring out what exactly it is that she wants to change. After a difficult youth she died a violent death, and then was essentially held hostage and brainwashed by her murderers for the next forty-some years. Like. We don’t have time to unpack all of that! Yeah, the Camarilla sucks and her situation’s not great, but she’s currently got the most autonomy she’s ever had, in life or unlife. She’s finally got a chance to figure out who she is and what she wants, but. It’s a painful process.

📚 If your OC was given some kind of forbidden knowledge, what would they do with it? Would they tell anyone? Use it for evil or good? How would it change their outlook on life, if at all?

Cordelia: OOF, tbh she’d want nothing to do with it. Her natural instinct is to shy away from that sort of thing, in part because she spent a lifetime suppressing her gifts. It’d end up being a lot like how she handled the Ankaran Sarcophagus, she’d go to Beckett for advice and she’d work to...contain it, or manipulate it somehow, but ultimately, she’d walk away and be better off for it.

Rob: Oh boy, that’s their whole life right now tbh. Between the diablerie and the 2100x serum, they are...definitely dabbling in something forbidden lmaoooooo. They’re trying to remake the world, and their intentions are good, but. Road to hell and all that.

Ana: She’d immediately dive headfirst into it. She’s Lasombra and ambition is her middle name, plus she also happens to be someone who’s desperately searching for meaning and isn’t totally sure what she’s about, so. It’d have the potential to end badly, but after biding her time, she’d absolutely use it to make a power grab.

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

Reliving An Old Nightmare - Chapter 5

<= Chapter 4

Summary : Snatcher experiences a beautiful reunion with his ex-wife and everything goes well ! (spoiler alert : it doesn't.) Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/22337299/chapters/53989969

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Chapter 5:

There were very few things that Snatcher feared. He was the one scaring people and stealing their soul after using them. Until very recently, the spirit’s life had been good, or at least, as good as it could be in the afterlife. After all, eternity could be both a blessing and a curse. In Snatcher’s case, it was more a curse than anything else. Without any victim to take care of, life in Subcon Forest wasn’t very thrilling, to say the least. However... At the current moment, the ghost would have given anything to go back to his monotonous life.

Thin but powerful arms kept him locked in a tight embrace. If he didn’t know better, Snatcher would be scared to see his soul leaving his terrified and paralysed body. His breath was caught up in his throat, and he was completely unable to move. His heart was beating too fast and he couldn't help but wonder how he was still conscious at this point.

If the shade wasn’t afraid of many things... Being held up in his crazy ex’s embrace clearly was one of them.

-“I didn’t think you’d be home so soon ! Did you come back for me ?” She asked, before moving backwards in order to look at him. Light blue eyes met his and he felt panic grow inside of his chest. Her face was just in front of his, and she was smiling. How could she ? She had murdered him !

Or, at least, if she didn’t remember... She was going to ? Time travels were so confusing...

His mind was blank and he was still unable to move. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t do this, there was no way this could-

-“What’s wrong ? Aren’t you happy to see me ?” Her sweet but worried voice brought him back to reality and he felt like he had just received an electric discharge all through his body. This was not good. Vanessa, of all people, couldn’t know, otherwise... He didn’t want to think about it, but he just knew it would be worse than what she did to Subcon Village in the future. Especially if she was the cause of this mess in the first place... In that case, he had even more reasons to play his role perfectly. Meaning... He really had to stop being mute each time he was taken aback by something !

-“I, uh...” An excuse, he had to find an excuse, quick ! He tried to move again but the ache in his legs woke up in consequence, giving him the only pretext he could give in such a short time : “I’m sorry, my legs still hurt.”

He did his best to smile despite the fear that was growing in him. The ghost wanted nothing more than to run away from her, but with his condition and her hazardous nature, doing so was impossible. The only option he had left at the moment was to pretend to be that Alistel he had come to reject after his death.

“I’ll look for a way out of here as soon as I can stand up.” Though, he could only hope it wouldn’t be long before that.

-“And... Of course I’m happy to see you !” He lied, feeling like the words were a poison burning his tongue as soon as they left his lips : “Why wouldn’t I be ?” He added, while his mind was already making an alphabetical list of the many, many reasons why he wouldn’t anymore.

The worry which had painted Vanessa’s face disappeared as soon as he reassured her. In the end, she probably was expecting that answer from him, just pretending to be upset to manipulate him. In hindsight, she used to do that a lot when they were alive. He was just too dumb and too in love with her to notice it at the time. Now, it was just obvious to him.

-“Aaaw !” She cooed, in a way that made Snatcher sick to his stomach : “Stop it, you’re making me blush !” She then laughed, though it seemed fake. It was as if she was still playing the role of the perfect princess like she used to be in his eyes, long time ago. And again, now that he knew everything about her real self, it felt just... Wrong. He couldn’t believe that anymore.

He wasn’t stupid like his old self.

The shade gave a sour laugh, trying to imitate her but failing nonetheless. She didn’t seem to notice it, fortunately, and changed the topic of their discussion :

-“The doctor came while you were unconscious.” She explained, looking at his legs while doing so, and then continued : “He said that one of your legs had been fractured and that it was quite impressive that you managed to walk. He healed most of it, but told us he’ll have to come back in the following days.”

The pain in his legs was certainly less intense than before. Doctors in Subcon Village were different from the others. The region was full of magic and a lot of professions used it every day. Many foreigners came to Subcon Village in order to be cured of unusual diseases. Healing magic was not easy to master; he knew that himself because even as a ghost with a lot of powers, it was hard for him to use such spells. There were a few doctors in Subcon who managed to understand this magic and use it for the greater good. If he really did have a fracture like Vanessa explained... He was grateful his old servants fetched someone who knew healing magic. Until now, the pain had been quite unpleasant, to say the least. With a healing method like this... He would be standing up in less than a week, which was already more than what he could endure. However, he knew it could have been worse, so at least, it would only be a matter of a few days until he could really start to look for clues.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by his ex’s voice again :

-“What happened ?” Her tone was anxious again, yet this time it seemed genuine : “Did someone hurt you ? I tried to ask the servants, to know if they heard anything but... Why were you so injured ? Did something happen on the way back ?”

Snatcher felt his body freezing once again. This was it : the moment to use the excuse he had invented earlier that day. Though, would she believe it ? He wasn’t sure, in retrospect. He might have taken it too lightly, thinking the reason wouldn’t be as important as his return itself, but now… He regretted not having thought about it more. Snatcher looked away, not sure about what to say.

-“Well ?” Her tone changed and became more insistent. She was growing impatient and that clearly wasn’t a good thing : he knew how “Vanessa” and the word “impatient” didn’t go well together.

Here went nothing.

-“Hum… Do you remember my teacher ?” He asked, uncertain about the development of the conversation. He could feel this wasn’t going in the right direction, especially when he saw Vanessa’s face contorting in annoyance, before she hid it again with a fake smile.

-“Of course I do.” If she was still smiling, her eyes certainly were not, thus he decided to quickly continue the rest of his made up story. She really was jealous, wasn’t she ? In a way, she always had been, until it became out of control.

-“She fell ill and became unable to teach me anymore, so she preferred to send me back here…” He swallowed, feeling his nervousness coming back at full force : “So I paid for a driver, but he refused to drive through the forest.

-Oh, the poor one…” She said, visibly insincere. How could he have missed her jealousy when it was so obvious ? Was he so in love with her that he completely missed all those red flags ? Before he could keep on questioning himself, she added : “So you walked through the forest ? Alone ?”

She wasn’t believing him, Snatcher was sure of it. Or, she was doubtful at the very least. To be completely honest, if he were in her shoes, he wouldn’t trust himself either… That was a very poor excuse, after all. But it’s not like he had much time to think about it, especially with the atrocious pain in his legs earlier. Yet, now it was blowing up in his face.

If he didn’t end up frozen after their conversation, he would be ready to believe in miracles.

-“Well…What else could I have done ?” He asked, growing more and more anxious. This really wasn’t helping him, as he didn’t look as confident as he should be, if he was telling the truth. His lies were probably blatant at this point and the fact that Vanessa still hadn’t stopped him from talking was already very surprising.

-“You could have written a letter, asking for a personal driver. Why didn’t you do that ?” Her question caught Snatcher off guard and for a moment, he didn’t know how to answer it. It was true : his story didn’t make any sense and wasn’t logic at all. As a prince, he had the power to request and demand such services, yet here he was, in a bed, with a fractured leg. He was just ridiculous at this point.

However, a sentence came to his mind and it took everything in him not to cringe just thinking about it. Though… It was worth a shot.

-“But…” He took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to say those horrible, horrible words : “I couldn’t wait to see you.”

Silence fell in the room as soon as the sentence left his lips. He wanted to punch himself in the guts so much, just for having said them. This was the complete opposite of what truly happened. The simple idea of seeing her again had terrified him, and still did. He didn’t even know how he was able to talk to her when, several hours earlier, he became a mess just because he saw her through a window ! Was it the adrenaline talking ? Or just his survival instinct ? In both case, these were the only perks of having a human body again, along with the senses of touch and smell, he supposed.

Apprehension became fear, as the silence started to drag. She really didn’t believe him and now she was going to kill him. Again. He remained absolutely still, waiting for something to happen. However, seeing Vanessa bringing her hands to her cheeks, blushing furiously, was not what he was expecting at all.

-“Oh my goodness, stop it ! How can you say such things…” She looked away, smiling once again. Snatcher was astonished. She did believe him ? Really ? Was it that simple ?

He straightened the moment she turned back to him, after a few seconds :

-“What about your legs ?”

This was the tricky part. Now that he knew that one of his legs was fractured… He couldn’t just say that he simply fell in the middle of the forest. A little fall couldn’t cause such injuries and they both knew it. Yet, he had no real excuses other than this one.

-“I, uh…Fell.” If he was alone, he would have smacked himself. Yeah, as if she was going to accept that !

-“You fell ? What do you mean, ‘you fell’ ?”

He winced : he really didn’t like where this was going. How could he get himself out of that situation ?

-“I fell in… In a ravine.” Oh God, he should just stop talking and accept his fate, now he was just digging his own grave deeper and deeper. Yet he kept going, unable to stop : “I was walking and there were those bushes, when I tried to get past them, I…I fell in this hole.”

There was no way she was going to fall for that. This was stupid, this was absolutely-

-“Oh…!” His ex brought her hands back to her face, this time hiding her mouth, as she gaped at him : “You must have been so scared !” Her tone was compassionate, yet the ghost could feel that it wasn’t fully genuine. She was lying, just as much as he was. The Vanessa he used to know would have never accepted such poor excuses. She had always been so wary and sceptical of his claims…So why was she so ready to trust him now ? It didn’t make any sense. Unless…

Unless she was the one who broke the timepiece. And if she was so willing to trust him… Maybe she already knew he was lying, in the end. This very idea frightened Snatcher even more. In that case, he was in danger, playing a game with her rules and in a world where she had much more power than him socially and magically speaking. Furthermore… Who else could have wanted to break a timepiece to go back in time to this period ? She was the main suspect.

He suddenly realised that he still hadn’t answered her and cleared his throat :

-“Yes, it was quite… Frightening.” Just as being so close to her was.

She smiled and looked at him fondly. If she did remember… Her attitude was completely different to what Snatcher expected. In his mind, he imagined her going crazy just seeing him, freezing the entire village once again and locking him up in the basement for him to die a second time. But now, she was just smiling at him, without doing anything.

Truly, he didn’t know which one was the most terrifying.

He jumped when he heard a sudden knock at the door. They both turned towards it, surprised. The ghost’s heart was pounding in his chest again : he really needed to calm down.

-“Come in !” He called. His face grew pale when the door opened, revealing another face he could recognize. It belonged to one of the maids, one of the youngest ones. She had dark and short hair and had brown eyes. Her uniform consisted in a black dress with a white apron. She was also wearing a white hat with lace on top of it. He didn’t remember her name, though. Maybe because she hadn’t much time to work here before Vanessa’s outburst. That would explain why her face was familiar to him but not her name.

The woman bowed in front of them, visibly tensed. Snatcher guessed that he was right in his suspicions : she was a new maid, not confident yet. It was normal, he supposed, though he couldn’t help but have a bad feeling about this.

-“I’m sorry, I heard voices from the other side of the door.” Her voice was unsure and so was her face : “I was wondering if you would like to eat something, now that you are awake, my Prince.”

As soon as she said those last words, Snatcher felt Vanessa stiffen besides him. She probably didn’t like anyone else calling him that way… And it only made his foreboding worse.

However, the mention of food seemed to have an instant effect on his body, as a loud rumble disturbed the silence in the room. He felt his stomach twisting and he immediately hated this feeling. He had forgotten what being hungry felt like… Saliva piled up in his mouth at the very idea of eating something. It wasn’t very surprising, as he hadn’t eaten anything from the moment he woke up that day… Though, would he be able to eat ? Drinking alcohol earlier hadn’t been a success, so he couldn’t help but wonder. What if he choked himself to death ? Or spat everything out ? It all made him more nervous than he already was.

Both women looked at him, surprised by the noise coming from him. Vanessa was the first one to break the silence, laughing with that sweet voice of hers.

-“Oh my, you are starving !” She said, before turning her head towards the maid : “Why don’t you go fetch something for my Prince ?”

Snatcher froze. She really hadn’t liked the way the servant had called him earlier.

The latter replied instantly, oblivious to Vanessa’s annoyed tone, and bowed again :

-“Right away, my Queen !” And in matter of seconds, she left the room. Once again, Snatcher and Vanessa were alone, to the shade’s horror. This feeling intensified when he saw Vanessa getting closer to him. She stood up from the ground and sat next to him on the bed, before pulling him in another warm embrace.

-“I missed you so much…” She whispered, squeezing him more, all while the shade remained utterly still in her arms : “So, so much…”

He laughed grudgingly, hoping this wouldn’t last more than a few minutes :

-“Yes, me too, my…” He swallowed, hating himself even more for what he was about to say : “My love.”

The arms tightened up around him and soon, he found it harder to breathe. Whether it was because of the panic increasing in his mind or the fact that Vanessa was squeezing him a little too much, he didn’t know.

-“Say it again.” murmured Vanessa against the fabric of his pyjama.

Snatcher didn’t know it was possible for his body to become even more frozen than it already was, yet he was surprised to see there was still a margin for that. Finding the will to speak again, let alone say those words twice, even if they were just lies in the end…It was much harder than he first thought.

-“My love.” He said, amazed to see that he didn’t even stutter. He was becoming good at dealing with stressful situations with the one who not only broke his heart but also murdered him.

Vanessa let out a pleased sigh and relaxed against him. Snatcher, on the contrary, was still very much unmoving. He felt like he had just avoided a painful and horrible death. Maybe that wasn’t very far from the truth, in hindsight…

Minutes went by, as his ex cuddled him silently. The ghost didn’t know what to do with himself in the meantime. The only thing he could do was respond weakly to her embrace, putting his hands on her shoulders and rubbing them in an affectionate manner.

Never in his afterlife did he imagine touching her again, let alone like this.

When there was another knock at the door, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief, hoping that Vanessa didn’t hear it. He allowed the maid to enter in the room again. This time, she was holding a silver tray in her hands. However, something else struck the shade immediately.

The smell… He knew that smell, it was…!

But before a smile could appear on his lips as he understood what food was on the tray, Vanessa stood up and lunged at the maid, knocking the tray out of her uncertain hands. The action made the young servant loose her balance and she fell on her knees right next to the tray and all the food now scattered on the floor.

It was bacon and roasted potatoes.

The ghost’s eyes had followed Vanessa. The feeling of fear inside his chest became more and more intense, as he stared at the anger on his ex’s face.

There. This was the jealous monster he used to know. The one who not only killed him but all the other inhabitants of Subcon Village. No matter how hard she tried to hide who she really was… It was only a mask, something fake, a mockery. She wasn’t a perfect princess, she wasn’t the nice Queen who cared about her subjects… She was only a dangerous and unstable being, with deadly powers.

And now that he was seeing her like she truly was… He could feel his breathing speeding up, just like his heartbeat. He knew something was going to happen, he had a bad feeling and now what he feared was happening just in front of him.

-“I forbade anyone to cook this thing in this manor ! I thought I had made this clear by now !”

Vanessa’s voice was loud, as she screamed those words to the maid. The latter was still on the floor, too scared to move just as Snatcher was. Vanessa’s face was red in anger, her eyes fixed on the servant’s ones, as if she was defying her to argue. The young woman was trembling, shocked by what was happening. Her breathing was erratic and soon, she started to cry. Snatcher couldn’t blame her, as he was also very much terrified.

A few moments passed where no one dared to move. The silence was unbearable. It felt like hours to the ghost until Vanessa suddenly lifted her head and looked at him, with an expression full of panic. She then turned back to the crying servant on the floor and brought her hand to her mouth, as if she had just realized something.

-“I… I…” She stuttered with a quiet voice, throwing glances everywhere around her. She seemed very agitated, not knowing what to do. However, Snatcher couldn’t help but jump again when she ran towards the door, before opening it and leaving as fast as possible.

The ghost remained unmoving on his bed, staring at the opened door, appalled by what he had just witnessed. Not far from him, the maid was still crying, this time covering her eyes full of tears with her hands. Her sobs were the only thing preventing the room from being filled with silence again.

What just happened ?

If seeing Vanessa turning into the monster she had become in the past didn’t surprise him…Seeing her panicking about it and fleeing the conversation was completely new. His ex was always the dominant one in their arguments : the shade had often been forced to be the one stopping their disagreements by apologizing. In the end, she had never given him any other choice. Yet, now… Things were very different.

He looked at the maid on the ground and winced. If he usually enjoyed to see people crying… It wasn’t the case here. He felt something akin to guilt, as he watched her sob not far away from him.

The shade really had to do something, didn’t he ? After all, he wasn’t “The Snatcher” anymore… He was supposed to play the role of the nice and perfect prince. And what perfect prince didn’t comfort sad people around him ?

Too bad he had no idea how to comfort people.

-“Hey.” He called out to her. When she didn’t answer, he tried again, louder this time. It seemed to work, as she lifted her head in his direction. Her eyes were red, just like her face. Her cheeks were covered in tears too.

-“Don’t worry about it.” He tried to reassure her, though he wasn’t really reassured himself. Coming up with a good excuse for Vanessa’s behaviour was even harder : “She was in a bad mood, it’s not you.”

Well, it probably was her, in hindsight. Though, telling her that would only make her feel worse, and as much as he loved making people feel bad… It wasn’t his current objective.

The maid silently nodded and started to clean up the mess on the floor. When she finished her task, she quietly promised him to cook him something else as soon as possible, and left the room, her head.

Things turned out much more different than what Snatcher was expecting… And he had a very bad feeling about what was going to happen in the near future.

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=> Chapter 6

[pens-swords-stuff]

WAIT WAIT WAIT please PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT VANESSA!!!! do you have like a mood board or anything for her? like----- where can i get a description of what she looks like/read about her bc i just saw the last ask you did and read abt vanessa and i LOVE HER i think i got a crush immediately.................... im fr gonna Sob omg.

OKAY FIRST OF ALL @yeraswifey!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I wasn’t actually sure whether people read these ask games, and Vanessa is one of my newer characters that I’m sometimes concerned about so this?? honestly made my day!! this is one of the nicest things people have said to me and I’M THE ONE GOING TO CRY

So to answer some of your questions… Here’s what she looks like! Her face claim is Kassi Smith. The only other detail I would mention about her looks is that she’s about 5′7″, but she’s always wearing heels so she can look taller.

She does have an aesthetic board on pinterest here. I have to warn you though, it’s a really bad aesthetic board — one of my worst ones. I know exactly what her aesthetic is, but I haven’t managed to find the right search terms for it yet. Her pinterest board is in dire need of reconstruction, and it’ll happen at some point, so everything here is subject to change.

She also has a playlist!

So I’m really sorry in advance, because this post is going to end up long. It’s not very often I get asked to talk about an OC, and I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth. Also, she’s a part of two main WIPs I have right now, and she definitely differs in them so I’m just going to give you a rundown of both if that’s ok!

Of course, if you have any questions about her, definitely let me know! I’ll be happy to answer them.

General Vanessa facts

Here’s a couple personality paragraphs I wrote for her when I first conceptualized her:

Fiercely independent and ultimately self-serving, Vanessa exists on her own terms no matter what anyone else tells her. She breezes in and out of everything as she pleases, often finding a person or a hobby of the month due to her fickle nature. Commitment is an unfamiliar concept to her, and there is very little that she returns to regularly — feeling trapped or obligated is not something she takes to kindly. She’s power-hungry and ambitious, Notoriously shallow and indulgent, Vanessa can often be found partaking in activities that shouldn’t be mentioned in respectable conversations. She’s rather flirtatious, though she’s very careful to not reveal too much or let people in too close. Aside from a few exceptions Vanessa is very guarded, preferring the casual relationships that she’s not expected to maintain. As much as Vanessa pretends to not care, pretends that life right now is exactly what she wants, she wants to care and there’s something missing. After five centuries or so of immortality, she’s far too jaded to become involved in anything temporary — romantic or otherwise.

So that was the very first draft of her personality. She largely hasn’t changed, except I would say that she’s even more confident in herself than before, she’s more capable, and is perfectly content with her fickle lifestyle — in the newer versions of For Queen and Country, she does have a purpose and isn’t just aimlessly wandering like she was originally.

Vanessa is characterized by her utter confidence in herself, her mastery at manipulation, playful-but-deadly personality, and her intense avoidance of commitment.

She’s a very social person who can fit in anywhere, so she has a very wide network of friends and acquaintances, but she is very careful about not revealing too much about herself to people. As a general rule, she’s very independent and dislikes being tied down by anything, including romantic partners or friends. The only person she’s consistently there for and relies on is her adopted brother, Alistair (written by the amazing @decantae). He’s her best friend and confidant, and they make a fantastic team.

FQAC!Vanessa

For Queen and Country is an urban fantasy story about how the existence of supernatural creatures exist, and what happens when the human public finds out.

So in For Queen and Country, Vanessa is a vampire. She was born in Scotland several centuries ago, and was turned when she was about 34-ish to fight in a vampire war at the time. That was where she met Alistair, and when he offered her an out from the life of an immortal soldier, she took it without hesitation and they’ve been together ever since. Additionally, her surname Queen comes from Alistair as well. Although they’re close, Vanessa gets bored really easily, so while Alistair has settled down in London, Vanessa is off doing who-knows-what all over the world. She comes back to visit every 5-200 years or so though, to stay with Alistair for a while.

Her original plot in FQAC was that she was traumatized from falling in love with a human who died from disease during an epidemic. This was the cause of her commitment-phobia, and her preference for casual, physical relationships over close intimate ones. When she meets a lady fae, she would have to learn how to deal with romantic feelings that went deeper than just sexual attraction, and her subplot was mainly her freaking out and being in denial about feelings.

Now that FQAC’s plot is more focused on how Alistair’s relationship with Blake develops (his love interest, and another OC of mine) and how they work together to fight for the rights of the supernatural, her current plot is now a bit different. Here, rather than just vacationing and running away from her problems, Vanessa is actively networking with and investigating vampire societies and other supernatural creature societies all over the world. This might include a lot of shady underground stuff. Her role in the plot is now providing valuable global intel, and being an annoying sister. Although I know in my heart that if Vanessa ever does end up with anyone, it’ll be with a woman, at this point I’m not sure if she’ll have a romantic subplot because I feel like she’s completely content with being single forever.

Post-Script!Vanessa

So Post-Script is another story about Alistair and Blake — this time in a Harry Potter AU where Voldemort succeeded in killing Harry and never died.

In this WIP, Vanessa is Alistair’s adopted sister once again, except this time Alistair is a pureblood from a notable family, while Vanessa is muggleborn. She essentially plays the part of a pureblood extremely well, and if people dare to point it out, she has enough blackmail material on them to ruin them. In this universe, Vanessa is a natural legilimens. Not only is she adept at the spell of delving into someone’s mind, she’s a natural mind reader (who cannot turn it off, mind you). So she knows a lot of dirty secrets.

In Post-Script, Vanessa’s outward job is a socialite who is on the Death Eater’s sdie, but she’s actually a spy actively working against Voldemort. She’s also involved in the criminal underworld of the Wizarding Society. She doesn’t actively do traditional criminal things, but she has a lot of shady contacts, and enough blackmail material and insider knowledge to effectively navigate her way.

So yeah, if I had to sum up Vanessa:

If she had to be summarized in a trope, it would be femme fatale

She doesn’t trust anyone but Alistair, and has considerable leverage with people she suspects might turn against her via information she’s gained in various ways.

She’s easily bored, so to fix that she plays with fire.

She may seem like an out-of-control slut, but reality is she is a slut that is very under control.

She’s confident and knows exactly who she is, and can utilize that to a deadly degree.

She hates commitment and refuses to get into any serious relationships.

Vanessa likes playing with her food, so to speak. She really enjoys messing with people and getting into their heads — especially if it’s an enemy.