#he looks so good in this hair and idky lol

[maximura]

[gamerchrissgf]

𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐩𝐞𝐚┇ 𝐂.𝐒

𝘱𝘵2. ���𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘺.

⌈after a lifetime of being ignored, and the death of her father, taking out her rage against the world the only way she knows how - murder.⌉

⌈pairing⌉ Chris Sturniolo x Sweetpea!reader.

⌈warnings!⌉ mentions of death, threatening, smoking, mentions of abuse, chris manhandling sweetpea (not sexually…. Yet 😏)

a/n: heyyyyyy its pt2 time woooooo. Again I recommend watching it first before reading this lol. I dont wanna spoil anything. Its the same story line but like my own twist to it, and some similarities too. its been pretty good so far. so this is soley inspired off the show with also my own twist. Also idky but the perspective in this changed too many times i think. I was half awake trying to finish this. 😭

(Divider by @bernardsbendystraws )

When morning comes y/n is still in bed resting after a long night. Finally deciding it was time to get up she heads over to the bathroom. Admiring herself in the mirror, blood. She still has her victims blood on the side of her neck. Quickly washing the blood she realizes what happened the night before.

Turning around quickly she noticed the bloody tub filled with blooddy water and clothes “fuck. Ok FUCK!” She yells in a panic. Unplugging the tub drain she gags at the sight of the bloody clothing. “Oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god!” Looking around the bathroom she spots her laundry basket. “Uhh okay. Ok ok ok.” Throwing the clothes into the bin she runs to the laundry room throwing the clothes in the washer. Using heavy amounts of bleach to get the stains out. Looking down at her current sleep shirt also covered in blood she strips it off throwing it into the wash aswell.

The doorbell rings she snaps her head towards the door. ‘Oh my god its the cops. Im done. Someone saw me!’ Her mind races. Reaching for the nearest thing to put on. It being her dads robe she runs to the front door. As she opens the door Aj is standing in front of her. “Oh.. hey Aj.” She says looking at the man with wide eyes.

There is a moment of silence between them as he examines her facial features as well as her body. “Uh yeah hey y/n… you okay? You look… different.” He says trying to figure out whats new about her. “I uh… I got bangs now. And bleached my hair blonde so… uhm was there something you needed?” She asks the man “ahh right well you look nice. And yes. I actually wanted to talk to you about ownership of your dads business since you know… and well hes always said hes trusted me with the company.” The man states.

“Oh right. Uhm can we talk about this some other time? Im quite busy at the moment. Have a realtor coming over tomorrow. Need to clean the house… so uhm bye!” She yells as she slams the door shut. Running around her home like a chicken with its head cut off she sees the clock 9:30 am it reads “Fuck! Im late!” Rushing to get ready for work.

Walking into the ‘somerville postage’ nobody even notices her. “Im back everyone.” Not even a glance. ‘Did they not notice the woman shaped hole at fucking administration?’ She asks herself. Sitting at her desk she sees the posty note ‘NOW HIRING: junior reporter. Starting:ASAP!’ A grin forming on her face she stands up from her chair.

“Excuse me, Mr.Boetelli? I was wanting to speak to you about the junior reporter position…” she mumbles loud enough for him to hear “ahh of course come take a seat. So are you new to this type of work?” He asks. “Uhm I’ve worked here for 2 years Mr.Boetelli. Yes it would be my first job as a reporter but not in this facility.” She says “oh you do? Hmm never noticed you I guess. Well sweetpea its just that I need someone whose gonna bring that- bring that ‘rahr’ factor you know? And well your kinda you know bland.” He says.

‘Well that was a fucking dig at my character.’ She thought “But sir if you really gave me the opportunity to expand myself im sure I could be right there with everyone.” You point at your fellow colleagues. “I need someone Justin leveled” he says. “Right I mean… Justin is great…” you say with a tad bit of sadness in your voice. “Aww dont worry sweetpea… the moment I see improvement the job is yours!” He says “Oh my gosh! Really! Thank you Mr.Boetelli!” You say walking out of his office.

Back at your desk your sorting through letters in your own zone. “Uhm excuse me is this reception?” Lifting your head to the voice you see a young man “Oh yes hi, how can I help you?” You ask him “uhh I was scheduled to meet Mr.Boetelli today about the junior reporter position.” He says ‘what the fuck!’ You thought. “Oh uhm he should be in his office still but uhmm what is your name so I can look you up in the meeting system?” You ask him.

“Oh right my name is Anthony, Anthony Andrews.” He says. “Huh thats weird I dont see you in the-” you cut off by Mr.Boetelli’s voice. “Anthony, how are you young man! Uh Sweetpea you mind making two coffees for us? So how have you been Anthony? Hows your mother? I saw her in her garden the other day. Shes been looking better these days.” Mr.Boetelli rambles on as the two walk off.

After finishing up the coffees you head towards his office only to be stopped in front of your desk as the two walk out “Alright everyone can I have your attention please, please say hello to your new junior reporter Anthony Andrews! Hide your ladies from him fellas!” Mr.Boetelli announces patting the boy on the shoulder “haha more like hide your notes am I right” the job stealing asshole chimes in. “But that was my job” you mumble to yourself noticing the coffee you have spilt in the ground.

“Alright well, im gonna head out and catch some Z’s before my big day tomorrow.” Anthony tells Your arrogant asshole of a boss. Both of them walking right passed you not noticing the mess you made. ‘Fuck this shit’ you thought putting the cups on you desk walking out after Anthony. You walk out the building a few feet behind him stopping in you tracks to give space.

‘People id love to kill, this fucking nepo baby for thinking he can take my fucking job’ starting to walk behind him until your in a darkened alley you pull the knife out of your purse, opening it you slice the palm of you hand “ah! Fuck!” You say dropping the knife “what?! Who the fuck! Oh shit you scared me!” He says turning around looking at you. You quickly place your foot over the knife.

“Oh… yea sorry… uhm theres a paper work!” You quickly utter out “A paper work?” He asks “yea like a new employee form. I needed your email to forward it to you!” You lie. Foot still on the knife you pull your phone out of your purse. “Uh here do you mind putting it in my phone?” You ask shoving your phone towards him. “Uhh yea… Im sure Devon has it thoough…” he says referring to Mr.Boetelli as he’s entering his email into your notes app.

“Uhh is that all? He asks? “Yep thank you! Bye!” You say still standing infront of him “allright then bye.” He says backing away you drag you foot wincing when you hear the scrape of the knife “uhh you okay there?” He asks “yep just peachy! Off you go now! Bye!” You say sending him an awkward wave. He chuckles while shaking his head giving you a slight wave bye before turning around and walking off.

Quickly picking up the knife you turn around walking the other way. ‘You fucking idiot.’ You say internally cursing yourself. Not even heading back to work you walk the streets of Boston you see a billboard with the triplets posted on it. ‘Boys from Boston With big dreams!’ It reads. Rolling your eyes when you chris’ shit ass grin plastered on the screen. “See them live this Friday on the morning show with hosts Julia and Adam!” Scoffing you walk off.

*time skip*

The next day at work walking in you see everyone gathered in the cubicles “so does anyone have any front pagers?” Mr.Boetelli asks. “Uhhh what about that house that burned down early this morning?” Someone asks “no no to boring. And common. Anything else?” He asks “what about the birds on main that having been attacking people?” Another asks “NO NO NO! Where is Justin? No Justin today?” He yells.

As if on cue Justin comes rushing through the doors “Dead body! Near lockwood” he says panting from running. “Atta boy Justin! Get me all the details on it! I want to know every dirty little secret about our victim!” Mr.Boetelli says walking into his office. “Tells us what you got so far Justin?” One of your coworkers ask

“Um... outside of Luckys, The police were there this morning.” You say. Kind of dry snitching about your murder. But there were cops at the scene. “There are going to be police in places. It doesn't mean it's a murder. Could have been someone drunk going for a walk, accident, suicide…” Justin says with annoyance laced in his voice. “He was stabbed, actually. Uh… on a night out. Um… I heard someone mention it as I was walking by” You say covering your tracks. “Ugh! I hate Hearsay how can you be so sure?” He asks “I mean, we should go down there, right? Now that we actually know something.” Anthony states.

“Yea your right lets go, sweetpea your coming with. And please don’t say anything stupid.” Justin says. As your walking out the door your phone starts to ring. Digging it out of your purse you see its your sister quickly answering the phone “Hey Jas…, whats up?” You ask her “Chris and the realtor are going to be at the house soon. Please make sure it doesn’t look like a tornado went through it.” She says

“what?! Like how soon?” You ask starting to feel anxious “like in 30 minutes. Chris just messaged me saying they were leaving the office.” She sighs “I suggest you go home and pick it up and make it look decent” she adds before hanging up. ‘fuck fuck fuck fuck’ “hey guys Im sorry but I have to go, I have a realtor showing up to the house. I kinda forgot.” You say gathering your things from your desk and running out the front doors.

After reaching home and picking up any left over mess you made you laid sprawled out on the couch. Hearing the front door open you sit up looking over the couch “welcome to the late 90’s” you hear Chris say as he walks through the front door with his realtor friend. Chris looks over at the couch “Jesus fuck! Could have made it known you were here y/n” he says startled by your presence.

“Sorry I just got off and was tired. I thought Jas would have told you I was here.” You mumbled making eye contact with him. There was a moment of silence the two of you staring at eachother. ‘Why is he looking at me like that.’ You thought as you see him rake his eyes down your body. You look down seeing your blouse having a few buttons undone a small piece of the cup of you bra peaking out. You quickly fix your top. He clears his throat “oh well she said youd be off at three and its only one so.” He says.

“So how do you guys know each other?” The realtor asks “Ah we went to school together and our parents were high school friends” Chris answers. “Yea that.” You mumble softly. “So uhh we are just gonna do a walk through don’t mind us just continue as you were” chris says walking off with his friend. ‘Thats was weird. I need a smoke.’ Stepping out the front door and walking to the side of the house you light your cigarette.

A couple of minutes have passed and as your fixing to walk back inside you hear the front door open “Yea just keep looking around ill be back in just have to take this call… Hey babe” You hear Chris say. “No, im helping an old friend sell their house… What? No im not cheating?… why would you say that? You know I hate when you talk like that… Oh so thats what your on?… Can you lay off the booze for fucks sake… no you know how you get. Your abusive as fuck… you literally slapped the fuck out of me the other night for thanking a waitress!… yea yea whatever ill see you later… yea love you too.” Knowing you just sat there and listened to his whole conversation makes you feel like a shit person. Still leaned against the wall you light your other cigarette.

Pushing off the wall, well you must have pushed a little too hard because you basically trip on gravel. Letting out a tiny squeak as you stumble from the side of the house. Chris’ eyes are now on you again. “How long have you been standing there?” He asks. “A while.” You mumble. “You… you didn’t hear anything did you?” He asks. “I mean I did but I can act like I didn’t” you say looking up from your feet at him. You didn’t even realize how close he got to you. There is another moment of silence between the both of you.

Chris takes a step back taking a full look at you. “Since when did you start smoking?” He asks his eyebrows raised in questioning. “Since my dad died.” You say back to him. “Oh… well do me a solid and never tell a soul about what you heard or else Ill just have to find ya myself kid. You hear me?” He says waving a hand in your face. You completely zoned out.

You remember thinking Chris was attractive in high school, but the way he looks now is way beyond comparison. His brown messy hair grown out, laying over his forehead. The stubble across his jawline, his lips, his eyes- ‘fuck no, fuck this.’ You thought. “Yea. I hear you.” You say looking off to the side so you can hit your cigarette one last time. Chris take it out of your hand before hitting it himself “you know these are bad for you right?” Letting the smoke out he throws it on the ground stepping the ashes out.

��Why do you care?” You ask “I don’t.” He says coldly walking back inside the house. About 30 more minutes pass and the realtor and chris get ready to leave. “Ill meet you outside!” Chris says to him. Walking over to the kitchen where you currently were sitting doom scrolling through your phone. “Uhh hey… we are heading out now.” He says to you “uhm okay? Bye?” You say to him.

“Remember what we talked about outside. Not a word.” He says in a threatening manner. “Chris I could genuinely give a fuck less about you and your abusive ass girlfriend.” You say not even looking up at him. You hear loud footsteps coming towards you not fully processing what’s happening you feel your head being tugged back by your hair letting out a groan of pain.

“Ow chris your hurting me!” You say trying to move his hand but he tugs it harder. You being the little sadist you are you let out a moan in pleasure. He lets go leaning down to you face to face he brings his right hand to you face grabbing it harshly. “I mean it kid. Not a single fucking word” nodding your head yes tears forming in your eyes, he lets go of your face causing it to slightly move to the side you look at him with hair in you face breathing heavily “Fuck you Chris.” You say

He walks off. You stand up going over to the sink spitting out a little bit of blood from biting the inside of your cheek. ‘People id love to kill. Christopher Sturniolo, for not only ruining my life but ruining my image of him.’

a/n: that image of him being she hated him now she wants him to match her freak 😭. Pt2 everyone!!! Its not really the same as episode 2 but I told yall this is inspired w my own twist 🫠

[days-until-burnout]

What is this? Mounders angst? Highschool angst? How could you!

No really though that was actually insanely good it felt like I was watching a movie. I had to reread it a couple times just to make sure I soaked in every detail.

The panic??? It captures the feeling so freaking well. It didn't feel too much, not triggering for me personally like most anxiety fics I read do but just enough that it made me relate so hard.

And Godd ik u meant for it to be any polycule and ship but I can already imagine a pearl and Joel romance drama, idky... Childhood friends via Grian if he's pearls brother maybe lol. Ughhh it feels like a movie with a bittersweet ending lol.

and Lizzzie you did her character so well. She would totally help Joel spray the mean girls. God it was so coollll, like the reveal of the fire extinguisher in his hands after saying a quick line about the white particles flying. Idk if it was just me but when I read that line for the first time I thought it was another aspect of her panic and then bam the reveal.

I need to know what happened to Joel and the lore with or without fic please, no pressure tho obv I'll just never sleep at night after this /j.

No but seriously ur writing is stellar. I will go reread it a hundred more times now.

Sorry for the long paragraph

THANK YOU. youre too nice and kind. very glad you liked it and never apologize for long paragraph! also, i just realized while formatting that i couldve written about the lore but i went way back in the lore lol anyways, hope you like this one too! _____

📧 Day 91 -

Characters - Pearl & Joel Words - 524 Time - 15 mins Content - Kids AU | Part 1

behaviour pattern (noun) - a recurrent way of acting by an individual or group toward a given object or in a given situation.

First days are always nerve-wracking. For Pearl, the day seems to drag, but finally, it is lunch time. She walks out with her lunchbox, behind the other kids, hesitantly looking around for a spot to sit. She finds one, under the shade of a tree and away from everyone. The other kids play and laugh loudly, and she watches them, hands on the lid of her lunchbox, not really hungry despite her stomach growling. 

She misses her old school, more than anything, she misses her old friends. Watching everyone play together with big smiles makes her want to cry. But she has to be strong, mum said so, so she stays where she sits, bottom lip trembling. 

The other kids said she talked funny. Some girls said she was too tall. No one had wanted to play with her earlier, and no one talked to her despite the teacher sitting her with two other boys and a girl. During class, she spent it eavesdropping on their hushed conversations and giggles, trying her best to pay attention to the teacher once they shut her out. 

Pearl needs to be strong, though she does not feel like she can be. 

“Eugh. You’re creepy.”

Pearl blinks and looks up from the grass, seeing three girls standing before her, looking down at her with scowls on their faces. She opens her mouth to say something, but they speak faster. 

“Why are you watching us? That’s weird. You’re weird.”

Pearl shuts her mouth, drops her head as she tears prickle at the corners of her eyes. She wants to go home where it is safe, hide under the blankets until dad gets home and tells her stories about dragons in space. Mum will be laughing in the background, then nagging them because they need to wash up for dinner. Maybe later that night they will call her old friends and they can talk about what they would do in the summer when she visits. 

“Sorry…” Pearl whispers as she hiccups. 

“You should–” 

Pearl looks up when she hears nothing, eyes going wide as the other girls look in shock. They all stare at the girl laying on the ground, quickly pushing herself up and crying. Her hair is a mess now, with grass sticking to it. 

“You’re mean.” Everyone looks up and sees a boy standing behind them. He tilts his head, brown curls and brown eyes. He frowns too, and the other girls flinch back. “That’s not nice.”

The two girls help their friend to her feet, and despite being three to one, then run off with sharp shrieks. The boy simply watches them leave, and Pearl watches him. She thinks idly that he could be the prince of fairy tales, rescuing the princess from dragons and witches. 

But the boy walks over, slightly to the side and picks up a red ball. He holds it in his hands, looking at it then finally looks at Pearl, tilting his head curiously. He extends the ball innocently, “Want to play?”

Pearl struggles to find words, but she nods. When lunch is over, the teacher agrees to change her seat. 

_____

soz but grian has nothing to do with the story xD even the original idea when i first wrote it was mounders focused, with lizzie being added a bit later. also, i was going to write how joel met the others and how they all met, but eh, for another day :>

[silver-wield]

it pisses me off when people say is A is the fantastical girl and Tifa is the normal/ordinary one, in that A supposedly represent the fantasy aspect of the game like fuck off lmao

first of all, aside from her limit breaks, all the magic she uses comes from materia which every character from cloud to tifa to even nanaki can use to do magic so the most she is is a white mage. the only thing that set cetra apart from the humans that descended from them is their supposed connection to the planet in that they sometimes know when people die lol good job you're so special, here's your medal. (they exaggerated the shit out of cetras and what A can do as a half in the remakes, it's all so bullshit i want to disregard it as official fanfiction) this makes A nothing but creepy in my eyes.

there are many playable characters in the game that are fantastical in concept (vincent, nanaki, reeve/cait sith) but if any one of them were to be chosen to supposedly "represent" the fantasy aspect it would be nanaki who ACTUALLY belongs to a fantasy race 🙄

second of all. have you ever seen any real human do what tifa can with her martial arts prowess even though she didn't even get any mako enhancement or something. can normal people easily lift things as hard as real life equivalents of dragons? I have to have a laugh. can any of us fight as lethally as her?

and to support this fantasy girl claim some say A has an ""otherworldly beauty"" to her in comparison to Tifa and Yuffie who are in their opinion "ordinary". is this not the most racist shit you've heard about game characters? yuffie is explicitly designed to look and feel east asian and although there's no "confirmation" for it Tifa's character design (and many aspects of her personality) is the ideal Japanese beauty. Beautiful long black hair, clear pale skin, beautiful eyes and a well proportioned body. they even gave her two EA cultures inspired alternative costumes in remake. when people say that we are supposed to be "in awe of" A's light colored hair and eyes and her feminine coquettish way of dressing I see this as nothing but racism and misogyny. from the way they look to the way they dress and to their skill in battle both tifa and yuffie are amazing and beautiful and there's nothing "ordinary" about them

I do like A's hair and outift design, nomura is a good character designer I have to give it to him, but if you take those things out A herself is not even as pretty as some of the npcs in remake let alone yuffie and tifa lmaooo 😒 the ugliest face and let-down-hair model in game if you ask me

another thing I've seen people use to support this idea is their theme songs. they say A's theme song is the more fantastical sounding one and to that I'll just say go and read what uematsu said about how he wrote the song for a scene in which A waits for Zack's return in the train station. L. M. A. O.

Literally nothing about her is magical girl aside from wearing pink and her limit breaks. People really think all those spells she does in Remake, (basic fire and thunder aoe) are something she does without materia. They're not.

Nobody can use magic without materia. Her only spells are the limit breaks and we haven't seen her use them at all outside of player control. Everybody else was seen using their limit breaks in the final battle of rebirth as a group attack. She never does.

That's why I always say she gets credit for doing fuck all.

Idky people keep calling her gorgeous. Maybe they haven't looked closely at her model. She has a massive forehead, big ears, a large jaw, big chin, huge hands and feet. She's like if you took a mop and gave it limbs.

And this is what Nomura sees as western aesthetics.

Also, he literally recycled a monster as her base.

But sure, she gorgy.

What's funny about her model is they can't give her any other hairstyle because she's so generic anime looking that she isn't recognisable as herself if you change it.

Meanwhile Tifa gets every hairstyle going and you still know it's Tifa because Tifa's model is based on an actual person and that means she has proper facial structure so changing hairstyles doesn't lose her basic appearance.

[pwnyta]

Genshin character Judgement after all these years of playing. I will judge looks, personality, and say my favorite voice! Starting with 4-stars, alphabetical order.

(under the cut)

AMBER!

Still one of my favorite designs. The distribution of red/brown/white is really nice and well balanced. The rabbit theme is subtle but very cute. Her personality is adorable... I miss her. I MISS YOU AMBER.

Honestly all her voices are pretty similar and I dont really have a preference. Theyre all pretty good!

Barbara! ITS NOT HER FAULT... ITS NOT HER FAULT. Shes the first of a long line of blonde & blue characters.... Since she was the first(/one of the firsts) I wont be so harsh on her. She is very cute design wise. She makes me miss Milk Cookie... I do find her personality a little grating... or I just cant stand the 'GO BARBARA GO!' IDK. LOL Shes a good girl. I dont hate her. Despite my lukewarm take on her personality there is no other character that I feel MORE protective of IN GAME. I hate that she has stalkers and NO ONE IN GAME IS CONCERNED ABOUT IT. Venti excuses it, the nuns dismiss it, not even her sister seems to care... it drives me fucking NUTS.

Voice... Id say either CN or JP are the best but theyre all pretty cute. Some people say her old EN voice was better and those people are wrong.

BEIDOU- My beloved. Shes beautiful. Its hard to miss with black/red and the purplish shading of the reds is really nice too. I think she does sexy in a fun way. Her personality is the same. Shes a ton of fun and tough and adorable. I wish she was used more in the story.. shes a fricken pirate! How has she not been used for a summer event after all this time... Such a missed opportunity!

Her EN and JP voices clear.

God what a mess. Oh Bennett. That sweat-stained colored shirt grosses me out and he looks like a reject Kingdom Hearts character. I think some tweaks to her color palate would help him a lot. Personality is a bit rough too. Though I gotta say... its sorta similar to Barbara... where I feel protective of him although I find him kind of annoying. Please be nice to him. Hes one of the few characters that even I think hes like 12.

CN voice is best IMO. hes also sounds 12. LMAO PLEASE BE NICE TO HIM.

...Candace is so pretty. I remember seeing the leaks for her and being like SHES NOT A 5 STAR?! THE FUCK?! I wish she was. I wish she was more useful at least theres so many fuckin Hydro characters... The only complaint I have for her character is I wish she had darker skin. Ive seen a mod with her where she has darker skin and all her colors look so fucking good... Her personality is also TOP TIER. Her soft dommy-mommy thing was WILD to witness OMG her and Dehya... Shes so sweet... I love her so much. ;0; The only voice Im not THAT fond of is the JP voice. I think it stands out badly from the rest... CN is my favorite. The soft spoken tone is PERFECT.

I actually like Charlottes look... except for detached sleeves. It wouldnt be bad if this was a fucking design trope we see over & over on Genshin girls so its kinda unfair to judge Charlotte for it but IM GOING TO. TBF tho... Im not actually bothered by the pink/red which is my least favorite color combo. I think the red is purple-y enough to not make the colors clash as much. Her personality is fine. Im certainly not the biggest or smallest fan of her. Shes just fine.

Her EN voice is best for me. Her other voices sound SUPER young and I dont think fit her character. (they are cute tho)

Chevreuses design is crazy... shes one of the designs where its clearly sexy over practical and I just think its a bad look for her. IDKY (yes I do) HYV is so resistant to giving female characters PANTS but she'd look better with pants. Also the detached sleeves on this design is one of the MOST egregious. Her purple hair on this is also kinda wacky. PICK A STRUGGLE BITCH. her personality on the other hand... Phenomenal. I really liked the story we went through with her. Hers is the only blue life that matters.

I dont mind any of her voices either! Good job ladies!

Chongyun!!! Chongyun is my lil man and I love him so much. I know hes in his late teens/early 20s but hes my BABY and I love him very much. I really like his design even though Im not sure what is going on with his pants like where things connect... but the colors are nice (even if blue) and... YEAH. LOVE HIM. His personality is super cute. HE IS BABY.

I like his EN and CN voices best. His JP and KN voices sound a little too energetic for him.

Collei is great. I was really excited to see her in the leaks for Sumeru because Ive seen her in the comics. I mostly like the design they chose for her.... detached sleeves aside. I really like the woody color palate I like the references to Amber, I love the purple eyes against the greens of her hair and scarf thing....GOOD STUFF. her personality is fine too! No complaints here! Shes got big LIL GUY energy and I love her.

Her CN voice is by far my favorite. Her EN voice is super squeaky... I dont hate it but its probably my least favorite.

I used to hate Diona... I hate tsundere characters... HOWEVER when you max her friendship she says something that made me cry a little and that line was also incorporated into a limited event which was really good... anyways long story short shes MY daughter now. I love her design too. Shes very cute. I kinda wish her shirt was just white instead of the pink but I dont hate it.

I like all her voices. They all have a very similar tone! I think Dionas EN VA does the little girl voice a bit better than other EN little girl voices.

Unpopular opinion I guess but I like Doris design I get that her being an offensive greedy merchant stereotype might be annoying but I dont think shes the worst character I genuinely dont understand the intense vitriol against her. Criticism is well deserved but her design is SO mild. I love her glasses and color palate. Personality... MEH. We havent really seen much of her in story I feel like... she's a bit one note ATM. She definitely could use a hang-out to flesh her out some more. Shes fun when shes being played tho..

I like her EN voice the most I guess. But I have no strong feelings for any of them. I do like how quickly the CN VA talks tho... at least in the little clip I listened to.

Miku from WISH ass design. I sorta like elements to Faruzans design but it all feels kinda like a first draft. I completely accepted that I wasnt going to like her character in the slightest... but then in her hang out... she was really cute. Shes annoying in a funny way like Fish & Mona. LMAO

I like her EN voice the most! She sounds so dramatic and snooty it makes me laugh.

MY FISHY! I hated Fischl for so long... what a waste of time. It was the 2nd Summer event that made me change my mind on her. I WAS WRONG. OK. Sometimes even I make mistakes... shes IS annoying... but its in a funny way. Her design tho I hate. Why on earth Fish wasnt one of the Mondstadt characters to get a censor outfit baffles me to this day. JEAN got one but FISH didnt? OK... but at least she got a costume soon after (maybe thats why?) Anyways... Love her.

I dont have to even listen to the VAs... i know EN is my favorite. But I did listen to them anyways... I actually really LOVE KN Fishs voice... just not for Fish.

I can never like Frems design as much as I should because I saw his concept designs and they were MUCH better. That said... I guess its fine. I would prefer him be the ginger shark boy tho instead of A genderbent Barbara + Xingqiu. but god forbid HYV make an interesting design. His personality is very cute tho... he was saved by that Penguin event for me TBH LMAO... the way I fuckin SOBBED. Why did they do that... I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY WENT THAT HARD.

All of Freminets voices are really good and very similar. if I had to pick my fav... KN and CN... I guess by a smidge.

Like Frem... GaMing had concept design leaks that were SO much more interesting than what we got. I was particularly interested in the bald one and I liked the bobcat outfit design... but I do prefer the colors they used in this design. His personality & hood hard carries him...

Im fine with all of Gas voices. En and KN are probably the best for him IMO.

Gorou is a lil buddy character. hes very appropriately good dog coded and I love him. He kinda reminds me of one character Tokyo Afterschool Summoners who was a anthro dog who was very proper but would act like a dog if prompted and then get embarrassed (like if you said 'paw' he would instinctually offer his hand)... Gorou kinda reminds me of that. A proper fella who doesnt realize how puppy he is. hes a good boy. His design is pretty good too. hes is probably the most... ero'd male character in the game its pretty funny. RIP buddy.

His JP voice is probably my favorite because it is so fucking funny. It sounds so deep and manly and proper... I think it fits his personality perfectly. All but KN are good tho... why'd KN go with such a baby voice for him I have no idea...

I LOVE all the colors of Heizous design just not together. I hate that Maroon with the mustard yellow... i really wish he had dark brown hair or even maybe a desaturated orange... IDK man... Also im just not connected to his character in the slightest... and he has a hangout. thats crazy.

All his voices are kinda weird for me... IDK what im supposed to get from any of them they all sound so different. EN sounds kinda shady (the way he speaks kinda reminds me of Kaeya when hes being a cheeky bitch), CN sounds a bit more sincere, JP sounds really young, KN is... just crazy... IDK what they were doing there.

...Oh Kaeya. My babygirl. I feel like anyone who liked Tony Stark would like Kaeya. hes got that saucy yet tragic air to him that makes him pretty misunderstood to people who dont know him well/dont care to know him. BUT I LOVE HIM. I cant wait to learn more about him... His design is one of my favorites too... and I didnt think Id like a costume on him but his costume is even prettier.

His EN voice is definitely my favorite. Honestly a lot of the KN voices sound so drastically different from the others it makes me wonder wtf they were thinking. Kaeyas KN voice is crazy.

Design-wise Im not that bothered by Kaveh but his personality irritates the fuck outta me. Hes definitely one of my least favorite characters in game. His only shining moment for me was when he was nice to Cyno and gave him the card he won. Im so glad his kit sucks so I dont ever have to use him.

All his voices are kinda the same vibe and I dont hate any of them.

Kiraras base design is SO ASS. Like Chev, her design is very sexy at the expense of design... but at least her personality is great and she recently got a phenomenal costume(even tho it looks very similar to Navias outfit... but if you could look more like Navia wouldnt you want to?). Anyways. Shes very cute.

Again I like all her voices except the KN... whyd KN make her sound so young... she sounds like a baby. She actually sounds a lot like Diona... except MORE baby. LMAO???

OOOH Layla. Babygirl. Im actually not bothered much by the detached sleeve look here since I guess she doesnt really have a top that the sleeves look like theyre supposed to be attached to... but its still like that same design trope... shes also blue THAT SAID. I really like her design overall. I just wish she had a different color. Im so sick of blue...

I actually really like ALL her voices... but this bitch talks so damn slowly... VAMONOS BITCH. I have shit to do!!!! You are very cute tho. If I had to pic a fav.... surprisingly? KN.

Lisa Lisa Lisa... ara ara ass bitch. Lisa is actually great. I love her. Her personality is way more grounded than I wouldve expected early on and I think they played it safe at the start of the game with characters... I think if she was introd later she might have been more like Yae. LOL but shes great. I like her design... although this blue-purple is probably my least favorite shade of purple in the world.

All her voices are great.... but CN is my favorite.

Attached sleeves? In this economy? Shout out to Lynette. Shes very cute. I really like how simple and practical her outfit looks compared to most female characters in this game. Its still kinda sexy but tasteful! I really like her simple boots. Kinda wish she wasnt blue tho... BUT I dont mind it as an accent on the main black. her personality is also great. ... her backstory is deranged... please be nice to her HYV wtf.

I like all her voices... but I dont think her EN voice is good for Lynette specifically. I prefer the more monotone soft-spoken sound of the others.

UGh... Mika.

UGH.

Only his JP voice is ok with me. UGH....

THANK GOD NINGGUANG. Hey beautiful girl.... I love everything about Ning. Shes so gorgeous. I love her personality. I love that she employs the kids in Liyue to keep an ear out for gossip and report back to her, I love her silly relationship with Beidou where they both sorta think the other thinks theyre shady and kinda acts defensively about it... goofy ass bitches. I LOVE HER (I LOVE THEM. Lantern Rite 2 cutscene you will always be famous.)

My favorite voice for her... KN!!! LETS GO KN. I also really like her EN voice when shes speaking normally but a lot of like attack lines and stuff sound kinda off.

Ah the babiest girl. Noelle... Why shes not a knight yet is DIABOLICAL work from the KoF. Theyre praying for her downfall. I know this. Mondstadt is corrupt and they cant have someone like Noelle in the ranks. I think her design is mostly good but the lack of petticoats makes her dress look so flimsy and weird.

I like her EN and Kn voices! Her JP and CN voices sound too young to me. EN also sounds kinda stiff but I do think its a character choice instead of a weird VA. Its suits her.

I think Razors design is a bit off but personality is great. Hes such a good boy... I hope we get to see more of him in the future but yeah i dont have much to say about him other than he is baby.

JP is my favorite voice for him. I actually cant stand his EN voice... I get what they were trying to do but it sounds TOO much like Tarzan but also goofy... and maybe im not bothered as much by the others since IDK the languages... this is similar to how I feel about child voices being done by adult women. Like I know what a child sounds like in English so when I hear that baby voice it just sounds like an adult doing a baby voice and thats so irritating to me.

I have some issues with Rosarias design (detached sleeves)but overall I like it. I like the uncensored version better. I also like her corpsy skin tone. I wish we got more on her character but considering her connection to Varka we'll probably have to wait till then to get more into her life then. Ah well.

Her KN voice is my favorite! but I dont mind any of them.

I was so excited for Sara when I saw the leaks. Her design is so good (detached sleeves aside) but getting to know her in story was so forgettable. It kinda reminds me of Dori where its like... ??? ok. Fingers crossed for a hangout event for her that fleshes her out a bit more.

I also dont like her EN voice much. All the others are great tho.

Sayu is a cutie pie and I love her. I think she looks a little goofy but since shes a baby its fine. her personality is very cute and Enjoyed her hangout event! her and Layla should have a sleepy-off. Who is the SLEEPIEST. We shall find out!

All her voices are good but CN is my favorite.

PART 1 done!

[dcjokerhs]

I'm in a fuzzle-brain-mode, so here! Floof!

(me, banging pots and pans: Come get y'all's floof!)

Anyways!!!

Phil, Wil and Tech all live together in the tundra with snow and cold winds and what have you, so Phil has a nest in his living room that all three like to snuggle in when not looking after the farm or galavanting off somewhere.

Thing is, Elytrans? A nest is up high in the hills, in the cold. A nest is just the warmest place in the house, so you can do whatever you want in there. Both Wil and Phil are cool with it, and Techno's kind, the pigmen, treated their Dens similarly, so it's no skin off their backs, either.

Now, Ranboo, Tubbo and Tommy all know about this kinda stuff from Wilbur and Technoblade (for the Bench Duo it's Wil, for Ranboo it's Techno) BUT THEIR OWN INSTINCTS ARE LIKE "Hm?? Nest???? Bunk??? FAMILY!!" because for Endfolk and Avians, a Nest is basically like a bed, and goats (from what little I've read, so don't take it as gospel) like having bedding at least a little higher than ground level in the form of a bunk, which is where they feel safest, so having someone else there? It's Family.

So the SBI trio are oblivious to the BanchTrio being like "Do we want them as family? They invited us to their nest as Friends, why's we feeling like calling them family?" "Technically we are family, because Phil adopted Tubbo, who's married to Ranboo, and Wilbur basically adopted Tommy as his brother?" "But ARE THEY??"

What result do we have?

Oblivious SBI with Protective Bench Trio.

Ranboo is bringing them Gifts like "I found this and it reminds me of you guys."

Tubbo's always asking them if he can help out, if they ask about paying him, he'll say "gimme a hug and I'll call it even" and HE DID NOT MEAN TO FIND OUT THAT TECHNOHUGS ARE GOOD HUGS, BUT THEY ARE!!

Like, Wilbur's hugs feel kinda firm, kinda soft, and Wilbur likes hugging around your shoulders so he can sometimes put a hand in your hair in that way that's semi-protective but not.

And Phil's hugs Just Surround You, like, he uses his Arms AND Wings so it's like Full Dad Vibes that make you feel safe and warm

BUT TECHNOHUGS???

It's like you're both a child and an adult, with thick arms gently hugging under your arms, lifting you up slightly, not enough to be on tippy-toes, but enough to make you feel like you're something precious and worthy in the arms of someone old and worn and HHHH (/pos)

Then there's Tommy.

And Tommy? He likes acting all independent and stuff, but he'll quietly see one of the SBI guys heading off by themselves, and he'll slip over to their side like "We're having an adventure together now".

This means, for when Phil and Wil go into town? Into the SMP to talk to people and trade?

"GET YOUR [TOMMY], [DUDE]!"

"It don't bite."

"YES IT DO!"

And Tommy is "totally just watching, Phil. Idky they're getting upset, it's just little old me!"

And Wilbur finds it adorable, and Phil finds it kinda amusing and a little flattering that this zygote thinks he needs to protect him, the Angel of Death.

And the one time Tommy accompanies Techno?

"Tech, why are you and Tommy covered in mud?"

"It was a small skirmish."

"Uh-huh? And how many bones were broken in that skirmish?"

"Uhhh... None of mine, nor Tommy's."

"Cool... Did you at least buy more cocoa?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, here ya go!"

This ends in Adoption! Obviously, but which way it happens?

Well, depends how dark you want it, LOL.

Cause I have two ideas:

One? Phil Finally has enough, sits everyone at the kitchen table and asks about it. The Trio reluctantly own up, and by this point it's just adorable to the SBI, so they're like "you're already family, you don't need to do anything for it" and then they end up adding a little extension on so the boys don't end up sitting in Ranboo's with puppy eyes over the SBI Nest, LOL.

Two?

Well, Snowcester is still a thing, and they could always pay Foolish for an extension...

[nikrangdan]

lovestruck!enhypen x reader

pairing: lovestruck!enhypen x reader

genre: FLUFF fluff Fluff

description: how enhypen would be if they became lovestruck by the reader ☹️☹️ this is such an adorable request!!!! itll vary for each member ur relationships so you’ll either be strangers or already dating etc.

a/n: idk if all of them are lovestruck exactly bc i just got carried away with the fluff for some of them and idky maknae line revolves around sleeping BUT IDC sleepy!enhypen is the best 😁

———————

HEESEUNG

u worked at a pretty popular clothing store

and well well well heeseung had shown up dressed very much your style so u were like

Wow who is this guy....

he was alone just looking around

and there were like 10 other people in the store but u wanted to talk to him so bad so u went up like

“hi, welcome! are u finding everything okay?”

he was looking through a rack of shirts and turned around when he heard u but WOW

when this man turned around he looked even better in person u couldnt believe it 😫

BUT IT SEEMS HE FELT THE SAME BC U SWEAR HE BECAME SO FLUSTERED WHEN HE TURNED AROUND

his eyes got so wide u almost laughed it was so cute ☹️

he stuttered and was like “oh um im okay”

Aw man

but u said “okay then! let me know if you need any help finding anything or if u wanna use a dressing room!” and u sent him ur nicest smile u could give

his eyes were still kinda wide open and u gave him one last look before turning around😢😢

BUT THEN HE SAID SOMETHING

“w-wait! actually.. um....uh.. do u.. do u guys have sweatpants..?”

u giggled to urself on the inside bc u knew he just made that up on the spot

“we do! here, follow me”

while u were showing him the clothes u guys had exchanged names and had some small talk

and that was the start of something very Beautiful

and since then he has been coming almost everyday to visit u at work 🤗🤗

JAY

jay swore he found new things about u to love every single day

and today wasnt an exception!!!!

u knew jay had been really tired and just worn out from work recently so u had decided to make him his favorite meal for dinner

a nice little surprise for when he got home ❤️

and also the anime he was watching ready on the tv for u two to watch together :(

u had literally been preparing all day and u even decided to go out and buy dessert too

AWESOMEST PERSON EVER U ARE!

it was 8pm already and jay should be getting home now

u set the table all neatly and put on one of his sweaters

AND WOULD U LOOK AT THAT HE GOT HOME AS SOON AS U WERE DONE

Fate 🔥🔥

romantic stuff like this wasnt really ur forte so this was out of the normal for u

but u wanted to do something for jay because he did stuff like this for u alot

the table isnt in view when u walk into the apartment so he wasnt able to see his dinner yet

“hi” you smile brightly and go up to hug him and give him a little kiss

he had his bad slung over one of his shoulders and he was taking his shoes off in the doorway after he closed it

“hey.. it smells pretty good in here” he gave you a tired smile while one of his arms was wrapped around your waist

“really? it smells normal to me” you giggled before walking to the kitchen area together

he stopped and looked at u with LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES when he saw the table

jay: ❤️_❤️

“y/n..”

“surprise!!! you know im not good with words but i wanted to show you that i can cook” you laugh “and that i love you very much and im so proud of you”

jay doesnt say anything but instead drops his bag on the couch and gives u the Biggest Hug Ever

ur face is practically smushed in his chest and his hand is resting lovingly on ur hair :(((

he loves u so much im so sad

JAKE

“layla!!! layla where are you?” jake was yelling quite loudly in the massive park he was in the middle of

yeah jake lost layla.. uh oh

quite a coincidence you found the cutest dog you’d ever laid eyes on

and she seemed to love u very much

the dog had made u topple over and now she was excitedly playing with you while you were sat on the ground laughing to your hearts content

after a minute of playing you had got up because you knew she was somebodys lost dog and her owner was probably looking all over the park for her

“okay.. lets go find your owner before they have a heart attack” you giggle

just as you said that though, you heard a boys voice yell “LAYLA!!!!”

the dog next to you looked in his direction, tail wagging and tongue out, but she didnt move an inch from her spot next to you

it made me you laugh out loud

as you were watching the boy run up to you, you noticed how cute he actually was

Omg..... ur heart started beating a little faster

“hi..” the boy hunched over with his hands on his knees breathing very heavily “you have my dog”

“uh yeah” you laugh “sorry about that, she ran over to me a couple minutes ago and i was just about to go find her owner”

“its okay, thank you..” he trailed off to find out your name and finally looked up to meet your eyes

“y/n” you told him

“y/n” he repeated with a small grin on his face “im jake”

“hi jake” you lightheartedly give him your hand to shake and he chuckles before taking the offer

“and it was nice meeting you layla” you crouch down to meet her level and she licks your face making you fall on your butt

you laugh and jakes quick to help you up

“layla! thats not very nice” he jokingly scolds her and pets her head

after u got up u bid goodbye to the two before jake invited u to continue walking around the park AND HE EVEN BOUGHT U AN ICE CREAM

Is This A Date, Jake? 😫😫❤️❤️❤️❤️😳😛😛

SUNGHOON

“you should be more careful” you scold the boy sitting with you standing between his legs

sunghoon had apparently gotten elbowed in the face by his friend and scratched by his friends cat on accident????

“it wasn’t my fault! he turned around and i just happened to be in the way. and i didnt even do anything to the cat!” he whined

“i didnt say it was your fault. i said to be more careful.” you tried to sound stern

u knew ur logic was making no sense but u just thought it was so fun to mess with him

he let out a sigh and gave up, slouching over again

you were stood between his legs, wiping the blood away and applying ointment

“im just kidding, you’re so cute” one of your free hands comes up to rub his hair

a small grin pops up on his face and his arms come to rest on your waist

he looks up at you while you focus on tending to his wounds

and u guessed it WITH LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES

❤️_❤️

“you know y/n” he begins

you hum in response, letting him know you’re listening

“im gonna marry you one day”

you freeze in your place

it took you a minute to collect yourself because you felt like your heart almost leaped out of your chest

“who says?” you joke

he leans up to give you a quick kiss on the lips before sitting back down

“me.”

SUNOO

you noticed sunoo had been really tired lately and u just wanted to make him feel better :((

the boys were going out and invited you two obviously but you could tell sunoo was iffy about going

“uhh..” you trail off and look over at sunoo who was laying on the couch

“you know what guys? i think me and sunoo are gonna stay home today.. you guys have fun though!” you bid goodbye to the other boys and they all understood and left

you dont even know if sunoo knew they had left already because when you walked over to him his tired eyes were glued on the tv

“hey” you leaned against the couch and looked down at him

“y/n? are we going soon?” his eyes move to the top of his head to look up at you

you start laughing and he literally goes 🤨???

“silly, they already left! so what do you wanna do?” you plop down next to him and he was in the process of sitting up

“what? when did they leave...” his mouth drops open

“like 2 minutes ago” you giggle, leaning back to rest your head

sunoo had sat still, pondering for a moment

“why did they leave us?” he turned to look at you

your eyes met his “well i figured you didnt wanna go... you didnt, right?”

he slowly shakes his head “how did you know?”

you give him a sneaky smile and jokingly push his arm “because i know you so well”

he laughs at this and leans his head on your shoulder

“wow y/n.. im impressed” he grins, snuggling into your arm

your other arm crosses over to pat him on the head, leaning your head to rest on top of his

“but thank you y/n..” his eyes slowly close to rest “im thankful for all the little things you notice about me”

u literally go 🥺

your hand goes down to squeeze his and he falls asleep peacefully on ur shoulder ☹️☹️☹️❤️

JUNGWON

“y/n..what is that” jungwons eyes can barely open as he tries to comprehend whats going on while hes waking up

you haphazardly tap around the bedside table trying to turn off the new alarm you set last night

and that new alarm was jungwon singing 🤗

“its you, dummy” your eyes were still closed but you turned to face jungwon and snuggled closer to him

“wha- where did you even get that???” he was almost fully awake now, staring down at your half asleep figure

you yawned before answering in your i-just-woke-up-and-i-should-probably-drink-some-water voice “remember when you sang me to sleep last week? yeah i was secretly recording you. no biggie” you pat his chest twice and leave your hand there, content with life at the moment Lol

“y/nnnn” he whines “change ittt i dont like it”

“you’re kidding.” you deadpan, shocked he would say such a thing!!! “jungwon you sound like an angel threw up on a field of flowers full of puppies and kittens! okay thats kinda weird maybe not that”

jungwon giggles a little and sits up so he can sit against the headboard while your head rests on his lap

“you like my singing that much?” you can hear the smile in his voice as he asks you

you finally pop one eye open to look up at him, a goofy grin in your face

“i love your singing”

his hands run through your hair and you let out a sigh at the feeling

jungwon doesnt say anything

all he does is admire you

you can feel his eyes on you so you open your eyes again (both this time🙏🏼) and meet his eyes

“i can feel you staring straight into the depths of my soul, jungwon”

he laughs at this, bring his other hand up to pinch your cheek

“i’ll sing for you whenever you want me to y/n”

NI-KI

“shut up sunghoon, hes sleeping” you whisper-scolded the boy

ni-ki was currently asleep on you

literally SPRAWLED all over your body and you were basically mummified

by nishimura riki

his legs were tangled in yours, his head shoved into your neck, and his arms were bent around you in ways you didnt know were humanly possible

“you literally have an alien taking a nap on you y/n” sunghoon deadpans before walking out the room

“when you’re asleep sunghoon i will send you into a spacecraft for the rest of your life so you can go see aliens for yourself”

“wowww im so scared y/n” the boy remarks and shuts the door

you half laugh and half scoff before turning your attention back to the ipad screen sitting on the bed infront of you

well

kind of infront of you because ni-ki’s acrobatic position was basically blocking the view

you were having a decent time watching the show playing, definitely not the most comfortable person on the planet at the moment

until you felt the body on top of you.. rumble?

you knew that feeling

ni-ki was laughing

HOW and WHY the hell was he laughing ?!!?!!?!

“what the hell?” you look down at him and his face is shoved near your shoulder but you caught a glimpse of his big smile

his laughter gets louder and you still dont have answers yet

“why are you laughing???? i thought you were sleeping?????” you try to push him off you but he was persistent in laughing in your shoulder (??)

after a couple minutes of you just letting this happen

ni-ki finally speaks!

“you’re so funny y/n” he finally pulls away from you and wipes his tears

“what are you even talking about... and how long were you awake, you sneaky kid” you poke his chest

he leans down again to hug your waist and start cuddling you again

“10 minutes”

“so you’re telling me i could’ve freed myself from that god awful demon EMBRACE you had me in 10 minutes ago???!!”

ni-ki starts laughing again and looks up at you

“thank you for threatening to send sunghoon to aliens for me y/n” he grins

you laugh, finally understanding what the boy had been going on about

“sunghoon deserved it”

[rebeccccccaaa]

𝕭ʟᴜᴇ 𝕳ʏᴅʀᴀɴɢᴇᴀ

_________________________

sᴜɢᴀʀ ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ!sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs x sᴜɢᴀʀ ʙᴀʙʏ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you come home from california after a year back to your old man

(Heavily inspired by Heroin by Lana Del Rey + Lightly by Old Money by Lana Del Rey)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs:: major angsttt, smut 18+ minors dni plz, bit of fluff, age gap

TW/CW: past drug use [reader], post-rehab

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: lana del rey’s music gives me major sugar daddy!steve vibes idky lol

(also brief description of ‘reader’ written to have hair that can moved from the face is like one sentence sorry but ur giving daddy steve a bj)

___________________________

You grabbed your bags and walked to the pick up spot at the JFK airport. It’s been a year since you’ve been in New York and you missed the city terribly. You especially missed your old man.

You stood for a minute scanning the bodies that littered across the floor until your eyes met those beautiful cerulean blue eyes you spent so many hours looking into. Instantly tears brimmed your eyes watching him move swiftly past the people dressed so casually unlike his usual stature sporting that incredible all black suit he always wore.

He looked tired and drained. Like he hadn’t slept in days.

“Y/n,” he came up to you, cupping your face before pressing his lips to yours passionately, desperately.

“Fuck, Stevie. I missed you so much,” you cried.

“I missed you too. I thought about you all the time; everyday, every hour, every second,” he hugged you tightly.

“Stevie, I wanna go home,” you whispered against his lips.

“Let’s go home,” he told you.

Home.

It’s been so long since you’ve been home.

You got to the car and Steve told you to just wait in the car as he put your bags in the trunk. You smiled softly at him before slipping in the passenger's seat waiting to go home like you’ve been dreaming about since the day you left. Steve quickly slipped into the driver’s seat himself and drove off eager to go home and finally hold you close again.

The car ride was quiet. You watch the blurry lights through the wet glass window of the car and your mind could help but wander back to the day Steve saved your life.

One Year Ago

You stumbled your way through the elevator doors with a lazy smile on your face.

“Stevie!!” you screamed when you saw him sitting at the counter with a whiskey in hand.

“You’re late,” he said quietly.

“Sorry,” you said.

“Why were you out so late? I gave you a curfew,” she said sternly.

You weren’t giving him much time, your body was on fire. You unzip your dress, not so gracefully, strippping out of your clothes. You pranced around in your panties and a bra giggling and running around asking Steve to catch you but he was having none of your shit.

“Get your ass over here right now!” his voice boomed startling you.

He pressed the back of his hand against your forehead and roamed his hands along your body anyway but sexually. Your skin was extremely overheated and flushed. He was pissed. You had promised him the reckless behavior was over, but you couldn’t.

You were an addict.

“What the hell are you on?” he said firmly.

“Guess?” you were absolutely not taking this seriously.

“I’m not gonna ask twice; tell me!”

“Molly,” you whispered shamefully.

“God fucking dam-” he rubbed his face in frustration.

"Why do you even care so much you're- I- I'm nothing but a stupid sugar baby, anyway, " you slurred your words.

“You're more than that, and I know you fucking know it. You promised me you were going to stop! I’m done, I'm done” he breathed out. His chest felt like it was tightening, he couldn’t breathe anymore. He felt nauseous.

“No! No, no, baby; please!” you cling onto him like a child.

“You could’ve been hurt! What would happen if that shit was laced with something that could have killed you, hell taking it alone in the first place could have been the last straw! I’m doing this shit with you anymore.”

You cried, no you sobbed hysterically. You need Steve, he was your everything, your rock, your hope, your love. You knew you were a huge mess but you couldn’t stop. You didn’t know how. Didn’t know where to begin, who to go to. You felt alone.

You grew surrounded by money but when you moved to New York, you succumbed to the temptations and your parents were done with your shit. Meeting Steve, agreeing to this sugar baby thing was simply to use his money for drugs and alcohol, that’s all you lived for. Your life was over, might as well fuck yourself over while you're at it.

But you fell in love.

Goddamn, the man was perfect. He was treated with so much love and gentleness and compassion. You hadn’t felt so loved since you cut your ties with your parents and it hurt so good. You wanted to quit for him. The first night he found you disheveled and fucked, you were so embarrassed. You promised him it would stop that you were gonna be clean; but that only lasted twelve hours.

He should’ve ended it. He should’ve stopped whatever this relationship was. He told himself it was one time thing but once turned into twice, then four times until you went out every night getting high off your ass with anything that was available.

Steve couldn’t take it anymore. But like you, he fell in love too. He loved you. He really loved you. He couldn’t imagine his life without anyone else and the thought of losing you made him terrified.

“I’m done! I can’t sit here waiting for you every night wondering if you went too far! Staring at my fucking goddman phone waiting for the day they call and tell me you killed yourself! I can’t do it! You promised me you were done with this shit but here you are high off your ass again with molly,” he cried. Tears streamed down his face, his heart pained at the sight you breaking down.

“I need help, please,” you whimpered.

“Are you going to let me help you?” he sniffled.

“Yes! Please, help me,” you sobbed.

“Pack your things. You’re leaving for California tomorrow,” he said.

“What?”

“There is a rehabilitation center in California and I want you to go there,” he whispered.

“No-”

“Please, Y/n. it’s only for a year-”

“A year! No, I can't be away from you that long, please no!” you sobbed even more.

“It’s for the best,” he tightly holds you down.

“Why not here-”

“It’s for the best. I promise I’ll be waiting right here for you when you get back. I swear,” he looked into your eyes.

“Stevie,” you cupped his face, “I don’t wanna leave you.”

“I know; I don;t want you to leave but I promise you’re gonna get on that airplane and you’re gonna come back and tell me everything’s ok, yeah?” he pressed his forehead.

“Ok. You make me feel I can change. I’m gonna come back and tell you that I have really changed,” you promised.

“I believe it,” he smiled.’

“Maybe California is good. Something about this city makes my head go crazy. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sick of it,” you told him.

“I love you; so much,” he whispered those words for the first time.

“I love you too,” you cried.

“You ok?” Steve pulled you from your thoughts.

“Hm? Yeah, I’m just- I’m really happy to be home,” you choked out.

Steve grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips kissing you softly. His eyes stayed on the road every now and then glancing at you like a dream come true. You pulled up to the building where you two lived and Steve asked the entourage to take your things up for you. He lifted you in his arms with a beautiful hopeful smile and carried you to the apartment.

When the elevator door opened he practically ran to the bedroom nuzzling his face in your neck kissing lightly. You somewhat took in the familiar surrounding noticing no change since you’d last been there. It was bittersweet. He hadn’t changed a thing since you left.

“I missed you so fucking much, baby,” he whispered.

“Steve,” you sighed, combing your fingers through his hair.

“I’m never gonna let you go again.”

“You won’t have to. It’s all over; no more clubs, no drinking, no drugs, none of it. That girl, you used to call the queen of New York City, she’s gone. ”

“You’re still my queen,” he smirked, making you chuckle.

“I’m so fucking proud of you. You are so strong,” he praised.

You grabbed his neck and pulled him forward crashing your lips against his. You molded perfectly against like you were made for him. Like everything had led up to this moment. It felt different this time; his hands touching you delicately.

You two have had sex many of times but this time it was different.

He peeled your shirt off your body pressing kisses all over your chest. His tongue flicking over your nipple making you gasp softly. His hands gripped at your waist as he brushed his nose between the valley of your breasts.

You craved his skin on yours, practically clawing his shirt off his body. He got the memo and briefly sat up ripping his shirt off his body before falling back on top of you. His hips settled between yours and you could feel his growing erection poking through the material of his flimsy sweats.

You pushed him off your body, flipping him so you could straddle his waist; smiling devilishly as you brought your hands up to your breasts to massage them. Steve growled at the angelic sight above him pulling your hands away to replace them.

He twisted your nipples as you slowly grind your hips over his for a moment. That moment quickly died as you snaked down his body curling your finger over his pants. You languidly pulled them down his legs letting his erected cock spring free. You moaned at the sight, haven’t been able to see it since you left that fateful morning.

You wrapped your hands around the base of his cock and stroked his dick slowly pulling wanton moans from him that were music to your ears. You leaned forward and licked teasingly along the tip before swirling your tongue around it making him groan. His hand went to your head combing your hair from your face gathering it in a messy ponytail.

Your lips wrapped around his cock perfectly just that way he likes it; like you’ve a thousand times before. He looked to the ceiling and sighed at the pleasure you were giving to him. He was never one to make much noise during sex but he was craving your mouth wrapped around him; he couldn’t contain the moans and grunts that wanted to come out. He couldn’t wait until he’s buried between your thighs.

You cheeks hollowed around his dick sucking hard before you take him all at once repeating over and over again. Steve’s hold on your hair tightened with every bob of your head thrusting his hip in time with your rhythm. Hitting the back of your throat, Steve’s hip stuttered and his legs shook approaching his orgasm fast.

“No, I wanna come in you, baby girl,” he panted, pulling you off of his dick. You quickly discarded your panties before climbing back on top of him to straddle him, knees on either side on his hips. You cupped his face kissing him senselessly; passion and lust and most importantly love enveloping you two.

You lifted your hips briefly as Steve lined his cock with your soaking entrance and slowly sunk down allowing him to stretch you impeccably. You moaned in sync, like you were becoming one again after so long being unable to hold each other.

His arms wrapped around holding close as you waited a bit to adjust to his size again. He peppered faint kisses along your neck and collar bone, nipping playfully at your skin too. You felt so full and incredible basking in his attention and the feeling of your walls wrapped around him again.

You moved your hips back and forward, your clit grinding against his pelvis making you shiver in pleasure. You face tucked tightly in the crook of Steve neck, your thrusts getting faster and faster. Steve’s hands moved to your hips lifting you slightly before slamming you back down on his cock harshly. This made you throw your head with a cry of pleasure, strings of curse words flowing from your mouth.

“Fuck, Stevie. I missed your cock so much,” you whined.

“I missed you too baby,” he grunted.

You looked at his face watching it contort with pleasure, his eyes completely screwed shut overwhelmingly. Sweat lined his forehead, the shorter pieces of hair sticking to it. You brought your hand to it brushing his hairs back so you could see his face in it’s fullest beauty.

He peeled his eyes open, staring directly into eyes and breathed heavily in time with you. For a single moment between you both, time stopped. It felt as if the world was gone and all that mattered was right now; you being back in your old man’s arms again, the love of your life.

You couldn’t help the quick glance at his red swollen lips, desire to kiss them again overcoming you. You leaned forward capturing his lips for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, but it's something you’ve ever got tired of. The way slightly chapped lips molded perfectly with yours.

“I love you, baby,” he moaned.

“I- fuck!” you couldn’t even speak anymore when Steve’s thrusts became harder and faster desperate to chase both your’s and his orgasms.

“Look at me baby,” he growled, “You were fucking made for me. No one can ever fuck you like I can. No is ever gonna take care of you like I do. And no one, absolutely fucking no one, is ever gonna love you as much I do.”

Tears streamed down your face; overwhelmed with love and desire and lust. Steve saved your life and you owe him everything. You loved him evermore; he is everything. Steve kissed you again, addicted to your lips, tasting the salty tears that came from your hopeful and loving eyes. He wiped the tears away with his thumb.

“Stevie, I’m gonna come,” you whimpered.

“Come all over my cock baby girl. You deserve it,” he whispered.

Your body shook as you reached your high. Chanting Steve's name like prayer, like it was the only word you knew to say. Steve’s rutted his hips into one last time spilling his seed inside you, hot cum coated your velvety walls. You collapsed forward onto him and he held you tightly.

Your fragile body trembled against him and Steve's heart ached a bit. He knew you were overwhelmed, hell so was he. But he was so utterly happy to have you back. There were so many nights where Steve lied awake at night, unable to sleep without you, day-dreaming of a future with you when you’d come home. He knew you were a strong woman and he knew you were going to come back to him healthy and stronger than before.

He remembers the day he came back to New York after leaving you in California. He was with his old pal Bucky at a local bar in Manhattan. He’s always really known inside that he’d fallen in love with you, he’d proven already that he’d do anything for you. But that night is when he finally admitted it out loud to himself and to others. Steve can’t imagine his future with anyone else but you and he’ll be damned if something happened to you.

“Sweet girl, I love you with all my heart,” he whispered, stroking your back softly.

“Even when I’m old; when I shine from words and not from beauty?” you whispered.

“I will love you evermore,” he said.

He whispered more sweet things as you cried holding him tightly spending your first night back together in his arms. Before, you didn’t know where life was gonna take you; either to the moon or six feet under. But Steve swept you away to a promiseland and you’ll follow him blindly. It didn’t matter where life was going to take you next as long as you were with your old man, you were happy.

Completely and utterly happy.

=====================

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison​

@buckybarnes101​

@l-sofiamia-l

@pluto-grl

@partr1dge

@stefans-wife

@cordeliaswhore

@fleurlovesbucky

@wandanatasha0720

[sunsumu]

Can I request ushijima and tendou with an artist s/o? Like it’s a serious hobby for her just like their volleyball so they are known as the sporty and artistic couple? S/o has many canvases in her room and always carries a sketchbook. She can get really focused on her work and forget to sleep or something lol. Headcanons please! If you are ok with doing this, thank you!!

a/n: HI WE WROTE THIS A WHILE BUT WE FORGOT TO POST IT WE’RE REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT!! tendou was written by admin lisa and ushijima was written by admin oli. hope you enjoy!!

ushijima x artist!y/n hcs

he totally gets how you feel about art, because to him it’s the same but with volleyball

he’s glad that you can understand him too!

this way there won’t be much hard feelings or miscommunication about not being able to spend much time together

you often go to his practices and games!

it’s a really good way to study anatomy

you draw him the most

there are at least 10 pages probably more filled with ushijima spiking, blocking, etc.

the rest of your sketchbook is filled with him just being ushijima ((:

if tendou sees your sketchbook he will tease you nonstop about it

“looks like toshi toshi really got himself a loving girlfriend hmm~”

ushijima blushes a little when he sees that your sketchbook was filled with him

is so happy you’re just looking at him and no one else ((:

first time he went to your house and saw your room he was like 00:

“y/n there’s there’s so many canvases..”

“yeah i know! i have some commissions to do so i bought some extra canvases”

“but y/n....where do you sleep?...”

“on a c a n v a s”

he picked up on you skipping meals and not sleeping real quick

one day you walked into class with dark circles around your eyes and looked more bony than usual

he is concerned. pls. EAT AND SLEEP.

makes sure that you don’t skip your meals and always. always. feeds you after school

if this was in his professional volleyball years, than he would make sure to leave you little notes around your shared apartment reminding you to eat and rest well

would also text you reminders as well

toshi toshi: y/n it’s about lunch time remember to eat well [sent 11:00 AM]

toshi toshi: remember to take breaks while you’re painting i love you ((: [sent 3:30 PM]

if that doesn’t make your heart go 📈📈📈 idky what will

for sleeping, if he thinks you’re overworking yourself he would just simply carry you and bring you to bed with him

“.....”

[carries you to bed]

“w-wait toshi i still have to finish this commission”

[already has you caged in his arms]

no ifs, ands, or buts

sleep now.

if you’re painting though, he makes sure you’re paints won’t smudge or dries up, or ruin your work

extra careful about that

he just wants you to sleep )):

tendou x artist!y/n hcs

you often attended his games with a sketchbook in hand

you loved drawing him in action, especially in his incredible blocks

“draw me like one of your french girls”

“tendou... shut up please”

he checks up on you a lot with random phone calls

and you always answer cause YOU NEVER SLEEP

“go to sleep y/n~”

“how about you?”

“im only awake for you”

tendou likes coming over and hopping around just complimenting your work

and he likes bragging about you to everyone

“MY girlfriend can draw SO WELL”

“tendou you’ve said this ten times today, we kno-“

“NO BUT SHE’S SO GOOD”

you have like fifteen studies on his hands

hand kink? good anatomy practice

you cannot match his red hair w your paints and youre always so frustrated about it

he likes looking through your sketches (with your permission of course)

after a good block he always looks at you

“HEY Y/N HOW WAS THAT? YOU GONNA DRAW IT?”

“tendou pls everyones looking-“

he probably has seven paintings of himself bc they were gifts from you.

they are ALL up on his walls.

tendou’s super supportive and he loves you

always encouraging

“ugh this sucks i hate it”

“ITS SO GOOD... LOOKLOOK LOOK HOW PRETTY YOU DRAW THAT”

you miss your meals a lot

so he comes over w snacks and food and just lays there admiring you and your work

he feeds you

“tendou im not hungry”

“you havent?? eaten the whole day?? its literally 2 pm rn...”

“and?”

“EAT.”

yeah in da end he loves u and your art <3

op if ur an artist... i love you <333

[seunqs]

[ a long get to know me tag ]

tagged by: losers @woosohn @yeonjuins

what day is your birthday?

27th june! it’ll be on a monday next year

what’s your favourite colour?

blue! a rather specific shade of light sky blue but i also like dark blue! might be misleading because everyone would think beige/black since that’s the aesthetic i like + almost everything i own is black...

what’s your lucky number?

i don’t have one i think but i tend to say 7 if i’m asked?

do you have any pets?

sadly no >:( will get one in the future idc idc

how tall are you?

158cm tiny i wna be abit taller

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

off my head i think 3 pairs...? just 2 black and 1 white that i rotate depending on the outfit i’m wearing

favorite song?

asdjekw i don’t think i have one specific one but recently i’ve been listening to maniac by nct doyoung & haechan!

other honourable mentions: a book of love by ha hyunsang, wide eyed blind by saint raymond, irreplaceable by nct dream, lmly by jackson wang. that’s all i have off my head

favorite movie?

surprisingly i’m not big on movies... but i’ll always answer parent trap when someone asks! why do i sound like i always have prepared answers in my head for various questions... okay that’s bc i do.

what would be your ideal partner?

@june look away i already know you’re gna say this sounds a lot like someone..

shy... is the main characteristics lmao idky it’s not even like i’m outgoing but i tend to find myself liking shy-er boys over the outgoing ones! aaa those with very obvious leadership qualities and quietly cares and looks out for those around them :’) tsundere! i think shy may appear cold sometimes but i’m rly :’) when the shy ones become very affectionate in private or when you get to know them better :’) or shy with strangers but very goofy and silly with their closer social circle heh those that are more cat-like than dog-like, only approaches you when they’re comfy. okay also shy but willing to speak up when necessary! doesn’t let themselves get bullied for being quiet and also pls speak up for me i hate ordering food pls do it for me HAHAHHA also if they’re passionate about something they like/are good at! good listeners too heh doesn’t need to always have the best advice, just if they would sit with me silently and listen to me and give me a hug afterwards :’’’’’) i think i’m on the touchier side too so if they don’t dislike that it’ll be nice! OH someone who’s good at cooking too bc i hate cooking and the kitchen in general.. i’ll do the dishes though HAHAHAH ok that is all there is a certain idol in my head that is the embodiment of my ideal type and i hate him >:(

do you want children?

no... not so much bc i don’t find them cute or i can’t handle them but i think it’s a commitment that scares me! bringing up the child well with the right character and values ajksdbwkje i don’t know if i’m up to that HAHAHAH

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

nope @woosohn @yeonjuins pls be proud of my direct no why are the two of you......... 

bath or shower?

shower! i don’t know if i’ve actually taken a bath before... probably when i was younger HAHAH i think i’ll get bored in the bath and i much rather be relaxing in bed than in the tub

what color socks are you wearing?

barefoot at the moment! the socks i own are mostly solid colour socks / simple cartoon or animal patterns but all ankle socks that can’t be seen with my shoes

favorite type of music?

i listen to pop, r&b and indie! that’s about all and favourite depends on the mood!

how many pillows do you sleep with?

just 1! and a bolster too

what position do you sleep in?

either on my back with hand over my head lmao or turned to either sides while hugging my bolster and face buried into the bolster

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping?

when it’s too hot! canNOT sleep if the weather is too hot. also if i get woken up rudely, by screaming or someone smacking me awake LMAO just tell me nicely to get up and i’ll be out of bed in 10mins pls give me awhile my brain is turning on HAHAHA

what do you have for breakfast?

recently i haven’t woken up early enough for bfast or my family is just about to go out to buy lunch by the time i’m up hahaha but on the days that i’m alive for bfast, iced coffee and any pastry sitting in the fridge! my family is big on pastries like croissants and cakes like banana and carrot cakes! so one of those but the iced coffee is a constant in my first meal of the day

have you ever tried archery?

nope and idt i’ll be good at it tbh....

favorite fruit?

strawberries, apples, peaches! there are some seasonal favs where i rly like them for a period of time and then suddenly not anymore but these 3 are the constants

favorite swear word?

hahahaha i dont think i have a favourite one..... but i say tf a lot and mf for kpop boys who make me more flustered than they should

do you have any scars?

i don’t think so! i have a few stretch marks around my waist and tummy tho 

are you a good liar?

yes... HAHAH i used to get scolded so much for lying as a kid lmfao

what’s your personality type?

isfj-t has probably only dipped to isfp-t once but if not constant isfj!

what’s your favorite type of girl?

HAHAHAH uh.... okay with all kinds i think? except people in general who try too hard

innie or outie?

innie. was this question necessary tho AHHAHAHA

left or right-handed?

right-handed

favorite food?

ramen! but i like lots of food lmfao tiramisu, pork belly, lots of noodles, also lots of rice, beef, cakes, ice cream, i think i’m more salty > sweet!

favorite foreign food?

japanese ramen, korean cuisine!, lasagne

are you clean or messy?

clean

most used phrase?

i think alot of keyboard smashes, lmao, wtf, HAHAHAHHAHA, sigh, i’m tired LOL

how long does it take for you to get ready?

depends! fastest i think i can get out of the house 20mins after i’ve woken up. longest probably an hour where outfit is taking a while and accessories needs to be chosen

do you talk to yourself?

in my head yes.

do you sing to yourself?

not often but i sing out loud for the family to hear LOL in my head very often a song is playing up there

are you a good singer?

nop. i don’t think i’m a BAD singer but wouldn’t classify as good either HAHHAHA

biggest fear?

wow so many things but i think biggest is complete darkness, i need to see and know what is going on around me. i sleep with a night light on heh 

are you a gossip?

with closer friends yes def HAHAH my school culture tends to have lots of tea that my friends and i don’t like to get too involved in but we do talk about the gossips that goes around hahaha have also been in the center of gossip way too often

do you like long or short hair?

long! can’t imagine myself with short hair.. used to have reallllyyy long hair that goes beyond my waist and cried when i cut it to slightly below shoulder length. that’s the shortest i’ll ever go

favourite school subject?

wow nothing i don’t like school lmfao but humanities and language are way more bearable than math and sciences

extrovert or introvert?

introverted

what makes you nervous?

unpredictable situations, being alone in public (contradictory because in private i would strongly prefer to be alone but i don’t enjoy being alone in public i feel judged HAHAHA), also currently waiting on a reply for something and that’s been keeping me anxious the past 2 days :’)

who was your first real crush?

when i was 13/14, tablemate in school that was kinda shy and had very limited social circle but talked to me endlessly in class lmfao he apparently liked me too but we never dated and went to different schools at 16 y/o. we’re still kinda in touch though! we talked quite a fair bit last month just catching up but he’s more of an acquaintance now

how many piercings do you have?

2! just one normal lobe piercing on either ears, don’t think i’ll get anymore

how fast can you run?

back in school i used to be one of the fastest girls in my class LMFAO i could clock 12.5 minutes for a 2.4km run. stamina came from dancing since i had to run laps before dance class 2 times a week. but that is long in the past and now i get tired from climbing more than 4 flights of stairs pls spare me

what color is your hair?

naturally black but dyed brown! my hair has grown quite abit since i dyed it though now its black at the top and brown from above my ears onwards

what color are your eyes?

a very dark brown lmfao almost black

what makes you angry?

irresponsible people. just pushing responsibility to others or avoiding their responsibilities. don’t need you to do a good job with your responsibilities, just don’t make your issues my issues. and if its a shared responsibility like group projects, then do your part to contribute and don’t expect others to cover you

selfish people, in many ways. just being self-centred, not caring about how others feel, doing things for personal gain at the expense of others

speaking in a passive-aggressive/sarcastic manner. i say this even though i’m afraid of confrontation but i much rather someone outright tells me they’re unhappy about something or wants to get a point across. i hate when they talk about it sarcastically or tries to sugar-coat their words to make themselves look less aggressive about their words. tell me straight as it is, if you’re already gonna talk about something bad don’t piss me off with your attitude at the same time

do you like your own name?

rae is nice! has a very nice ring to it and looks pretty!

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

i don’t.. want one.. but both have their good and bad i can’t decide.. i want a puppy

what are your strengths?

is this an interview question i have had a few interviews over the past weeks i am well-prepared for this HAHAHA

i think i’m pretty resilient! i bounce back from bad times pretty quickly or i psycho myself to see the situation positively. but it is ofc coupled with a lot of complaining to the people around me first

although i hate unpredictable situations and having to quickly adapt to new settings, i think i adapt pretty quickly too. flexible? easy-going? idk what’s the right way to call it but yeah something along those lines. good at it but i still enjoy my stability and calm don’t want to have to quickly adapt to new situations.

what are your weaknesses?

very emotional HAHAH used to be much worse but i often let my emotions rule my head. i think i’ve improved A LOT though i used to be so bad but i think i’m now able to make rational decisions even if im bawling LMFAO

this sounds like a compliment but i’ve been told this too often as well. i tend to be way too nice to people who don’t deserve it. even if the person doesn’t deserve it or they’ve pushed all my buttons in the wrong way possible, i would still try to be as nice and polite as i can. really helps with me working in the f&b industry lmfao.

what’s the colour of your bedspread?

dark blue / grey! 

colour(s) of your room?

white & wood (throughout my house actually + green from the plants in the living room) @yeonjuins says i live in a muji showroom

[neo-nymph]

NCT NSFW A-Z: Jaehyun

I went to the NeoCity concert in Miami a month ago and now I can't get NCT out of my head. So I present you with this :’)

A - Aftercare

He’d probably just lay next to you for like 5 minutes to catch his breath. He’d wrap his arms under you and pull you into his side watching you with heart eyes and a subtle grin as you pant little breaths. Once he’s mellowed out he’d go all soft boy again, doing small cute things like tying your hair back so you can cool off, wiping you off with a cool towel if things got messy, getting you some water if you want. Then it’s tiny kisses on your forehead and temple, probably cringy small talk about how cute you are when you moan for him and some cuddles.

B – Body Part

On you it’s probably your legs. It might sound weird but he just finds them absolutely gorgeous. Doesn’t matter if you’re tall or short or what you’re doing. Laying on the couch with some shorts, running around in one of his shirts with your legs bare, jumping out of the pool. Anything would drive him insane. He loves pressing kisses to them when things get intimate and running his fingers across them when cuddling.

C – Cum

Not his favorite thing in the world just because of how messy and annoying to clean it is, but kinda loves putting it on you. He might even have a thing for watching you play with it. Jaehyun seems like the type to be really into facials and swallowing. Painting your cute little face with thick, white streams, watching you rub it around between your fingers or seeing the white pool disappear between your lips after fucking your mouth is like the cherry on top of his sundae.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was into creampies too. He’d push himself inside you as deep as he could when he cums and pulls back to see it slowly seeping out and down your shaking thigh, drawing out a long sigh of satisfaction as he threw his head back and closed his eyes.  

D – Dirty Secret

Probably something like panty sniffing. Idky but I see that happening. He probably takes a pair of yours on tour to wrap around himself when he gets off.

E – Experience

I know Jae has a player attitude about him but I don’t buy it for a second. I don’t think he’s been with a ton of women, but enough that he knows what he’s doing, plus one or two extra tricks. Probably learned a thing or two from porn.

F – Favorite Position

Doggy style with your hands tied behind your back.  

He can be rough and fuck you into the bed, have his hand on your hips to keep you in place, but can still tug you up by your hair when he wants to hear your little noises.  

Hands behind your back for that little power trip.

G – Goofy

On a few occasions, like when he’s drunk. He probably can’t stop himself from cracking a goofy smile. All the way from the door to the bedroom, while making out, taking off clothes, even during the actual sex he’s making stupid jokes, giving you cringy compliments, and can’t seem to take anything either of you says or do seriously.

Also, the first time you guys are intimate together. He wouldn’t want you to be nervous, especially if you were younger/less experienced than him, so he would do his best to make the mood lighter by making jokes or being overly cute. By that I mean lots of small kisses, light taunting, etc. Anything to get you to smile, ignore your nerves and focus on having a good time.

H – Hair

Probably trims so it’s not a full on bush, but doesn’t bother with shaving totally bare. Doesn’t care what you do with yours.

I – Intimacy

Jaehyun’s a total Casanova. He knows how to read your body language and expressions extremely well, so he knows exactly what you want when you want it and how to deliver. He can be romantic and suave, cute and gentle, rough and dominating, whatever you want he’s got it.

I definitely see him being someone that shows his affection often in a lot of tiny ways, but I think his favorite way to show how much he feels for you is by getting intimate. That being said he makes the whole thing about you; your enjoyment and pleasure always come first.  

J – Jack-Off

Probably does a lot on tour. There’s a lot of time between tour stops for him to alone with his thoughts that he can’t seem to control. You’re already on his mind all the time, which didn’t help his struggle to control his desires. He prides himself on his ability to control his sexual urges, but between the lack of physical contact, the sexual dances, and you’re unforgiving voice messages, I see him jacking off pretty often. Like at least every other night, probably late after concerts.

Probably calls you for phone sex if the time zones line-up well enough. If not he probably gets off to some videos he filmed of you guys before you left or videos and voice messages you sent him a while back.

K - Kink

Maybe a power kink.  

Nothing huge, but he loves the dominating feeling that runs through him when he looks down and see’s you laying there under him, shaking vaguely, mind completely clouded in a fucked out daze as you fully submit to him. It sends him on this weird power trip and fills him with a sense of pride.

Maybe an innocence kink too.  

I only really see this happening if he’s with an inexperienced partner who’s still kinda hesitant and moves with uncertainty. He’d like guiding them and find it hot that he’d get to “train” them to do things exactly as he wanted. Looking at you move to please him with glossy baby doll eyes, a little bend in your brow as you questioned if you were doing it right would drive him mad.

L - Limits

He’s open to trying most things, but nothing super wild or extreme. He’s just past the line of Vanilla tbh.

M – Motivation (Turn-On)

When you walk around with nothing but his shirt on. It makes you look so cute to him. He likes knowing your completely him, and this is the perfect way to remind him and rile him up at the same time. Bonus points if you bend over and put everything on display for him.

N – NO (Turn-Off)

Feet.  

Don’t see much appeal past you pressing your feet against him through his pants as a tease

O – Oral

Giving: G  E  N  E  R  O  U  S. He could eat you out for hours if you let him. A classic lay on his stomach wraps his arms around your thighs kinda guy. You can try squirming all you want but he’s not letting you go anywhere. Likes when you pull on his hair. Finds it cute when you try to pull him or push yourself closer to his mouth. Lots of sucking and rolling your clit with his tongue. If he thinks you’re especially deserving he’ll use his fingers too, rough and fast just as you like it.  He’s not stopping until you cum at least twice.

Receiving: Has a decent amount of self-control, so unless he’s tied down or frustrated he won’t be very fidgety or vocal, probably just a lot of harsh breaths and low grunts. He’s naturally a dom, so you can expect one hand holding your hair into a ponytail controlling your movements. He’ll probably slump back casually in whatever seat he’s in, mouth parted lightly with small breaths escaping as he stares at you with eyes blown wide from desire. Likes fast and messy blowjobs when he’s angry or frustrated. Loves the feeling of your tight throat swallowing around his cock. Other times you can move whatever pace you want, just don’t be surprised if he starts fucking your throat by the end. He likes to hear you gag.

P – Place

He’ll fuck you anywhere in the house. On the couch, in the shower, the kitchen, on the patio. He’d be especially fond of eating you out while you sit on the island in the kitchen. Same goes for hotels and the tour bus. He’s not one for people watching, but the second you’re alone, he’ll take you on any surface he can.

Q – Quickie

I can only see these happening once in a blue moon because he likes to drag things out and take his time. Even if he randomly gets in the mood in public he’ll hold off until the event is done or find some excuse for you guys to get home. You can always expect him to be exceptionally rougher and faster than you’re used to. The pressure in his groin had him acting without logic, pulling apart your clothes, barely getting them off your body before raw dogging you against the door.  

R – Risk

Meh. Like I said before, he’s just past the line of vanilla. Risky antics aren’t typically apart of your sex life, so I wouldn’t expect anything crazy like fucking in public. Maybe he’ll whip out vibrating panties. He may decide to tease you under the table at a business dinner one night, shoving his hands down your panties. But only for a few minutes before he makes some lame excuse and takes you home.  

S – Stamina

Could probably last like 3 rounds

T – Toys

Probably uses handcuffs from time to time

U – Unfair

Like I said before, his main priority is making sure he can please you as much as possible. He probably wouldn’t go crazy with teasing. Likely just enough to make you beg him to fuck you, like rubbing you through your panties with his hand around your throat while he’s still fully clothed.

He hates being teased. The only way you’ll get away with teasing him is if he’s tied down to a chair. Good luck dealing with him after tho

V – Volume

Not super loud himself. Moans often but not loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Probably audible if someone passes by the room or the walls are thin. Grunts and groans loudest and deepest when he cums or when you deepthroat him. Throws in some dirty whisper into your ear here and there.  

Likes for you to be loud though. Especially when he’s gotten jealous; hearing you scream his name gives him a real ego boost, particularly when he walks out between rounds and sees the members in the living room pretending they didn’t hear anything

W - Wild Card [Author’s Choice] (this one ain't so nsfw sorry lol)

I cannot stress enough how much this man loves you. You’re like a little angel to him. It’s pretty obvious that he’s a confident guy, but sometimes he gets worried that he’s not deserving of you, for reasons other than looks. That’s why he always spoils you so much, sexually and not. He hopes if he showers you enough with his love and gives you everything he believes you deserve, you’ll constantly be reminded about how much you love him and you won’t want to leave.

X - X-Ray [Dick Size]

Longer than most but not huge. I’d say 7 inches long and generously thick. You’re gonna feel the stretch every time honey.

Y – Yearning [Sex Drive]

When he’s home, not exceedingly high. You probably have sex like 3 or 4 times a week. When he’s sex-deprived on tour tho, he’s calling you like every other night to help him out.

Z – Zzz [After Sex]

I mentioned this before at the beginning, he probably needs like 5 minutes to catch his breath and he’s good. After he tends to you and you guys get all cuddly, he’ll probably fall asleep in like 30 mins to a 1 hr

[lililiyababe]

[1/2] OMG did you happen to see their MAMA stage? hansols hair is brown!! :0 he looks like the cute boy next door and i love it a lot. but i didn’t think i’d miss the silver this much LOL. do you have any nicknames for vernon? or what do you usually call him? also what are your favorite things about him? and yes!! the time you became a fan doesn’t matter, as long as you support them through it all that’s what matters the most! also for your question, mingyu became my bias during adore u era!

[this is gonna be a long response akshsjs sorry in advance]

I DID SEE THEIR MAMA STAGE!!! literally when china line did their little dance break at the end of fear i AUDIBLY gasped i was n o t prepared for that. they legit make my jaw drop every!!! time!!! AND WONU EATING A SLSHSKSJ FLOWER I WAS LIKE W H A T . and soons oh gosh he looked so GOOD plus u know 🥺 vernon’s hairs and vernon CENTER hhhh it was an Experience (im gonna miss the silver hair too tho it was a rly nice look on him but the brown is soft and fluffy so!! i’ll be happy either way ^^)

nicknames hmmm...sometimes i call him nonie or vern whenever i’m like talking to friends bc idk it’s cute!! i also just constantly refer to him as baby bc look at him :( he’s baby!! also another one that i use mostly in my head (bc it’s kinda embarrassing aha) is liebling which is like...darling or honey in german. idky i just think it’s mega cute. and of course there’s hansol but idk i mostly refer to him as vernon?? idk it just fits in my head. hbu do u have nicknames for ur biases?? :o

i admire vernon so much i could rant about it for days but for now i’ll just say that i’m heavily inspired by his kindness, his gentleness, the way he respects other people and cultures, and how he is unapologetically himself and isn’t afraid to have fun or be silly. this is rly a whole rant in itself lol that i could totally get into if u want me to?? but yeah those are some of my favorite qualities of his <3

ADORE U ERA MINGYU IS SO ADORABLE i totally understand why u fell for him he’s just a big ol puppy boy :( and lee seokmin!! i’m SO proud of him for all the work and dedication he puts into not only seventeen but pursuing something new and exciting and broadening his horizons. he had so much fun being a part of the cast too u could rly tell :( it was so precious and heartwarming!! they’re both so amazing!!

but i knew vernon was my bias back when i was a baby baby carat and i was watching their part switch ver of different title tracks and i remember watching pretty u part switch ver and idk my eyes were just drawn to him the whole time and anytime he smiled my heart just went like 😔💗✨and he was so dorky and cute and i just went okay FINE i guess ur my bias now akhssjsh

also!! good luck on ur finals!! ur asks are sending perfectly my dear so don’t worry about a thing ^^ also def don’t feel obligated at all to message me esp w/ school and all!! just hearing from u every once and a while is enough to warm my heart <3 thx for taking time out of ur busy day to talk to me!! sorry my message is so long akshsj

[poloroo]

4th date

this was kinda impromptu but i was happy i got to meet him. i had a field trip to jw marriot at promenade so he suggest us to go mountbatten mrt and follow him go decathlon. idky everytime i meet him for the first 30 mins its kinda awkward. like suddenly we look at each other like 👀👀👀. anyway it was a long walk to decathlon. once we were inside we looked around and boy finally found his pants but like he took a long time trying them on. hahahaha he hit me with "did i finally bore you" but like i dont mind cause i want him to take his time in buying stuff you know. Rei was cute as he folded all the pants nicely instead of just putting there and letting the staff fold for him. after that we went back to the mrt and on the bridge he wanted to hold my hands but he resisted so i hold it first. then he was like SEE i did good in resisting but im like 😏 bruh. anyway after that we hold hands all the wayyyyyyy to stadium, ate pastamania and the pasta i ate tasted like nacho cheese while his taste like straight up garlic. walked ard the mall but there is nothing. we sat outside and view the scenery. gave him my cat and it was super soft. talk about i forgot what. he kept kissing my head and said my hair smells good. that was a first. of course cannot forget the occasional kissing on my hand and forehead LOL istg this guy loves kissing me. not complaining but i'm very concious in public lol. sweet boy showered me with lots affection and he stood up and told me to hug him. in his defense i told him lots of time that i wanna squeeze him but im too damn shy lol but ok walked around holding his hands then he said 'if i were to ask you to bcm my gf, what is your ans?' thats no fun if i were to tell him my answer right lol. so i asked "are you asking me officially right now?" then hes like NOPE ok whatever sweet boy wanted to send me all the way back home 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 but i know he is damn sleepy cause he kept rubbing his eyes so i just said bp mrt. we did and left the cabin and on to the platform and we hugged again and we didn't want to leave each other despite being with each other all day. kept saying bye but no one wanted to leave. he kept hugging me. i felt sad. he kept saying i looked extra cute that say and thats because i look extra masam lol ahhhhhh 😍 dreamy boy finally left. also his mum found out. and he replied only with "a girl" frick frack im meeting his whole fam on tuesday. i hope it goes well. 😚

[cheerstocrazy]

Dates with Hippie

9/7 Met him from Hinge. We actually swiped right on each other a couple of years ago from Bumble, but I don’t think he remembers, and I only remember bc I stalked him and was making fun of him with PP abt a white guy loving India. He was really eager in conversations with me and replied hella quickly. He even told me I was cute TWICE, when he had never met me in person. He invited me to the mariachi festival at DTSA. I was thinking mariachi?? Whatever, be a good sport. Parking was a nightmare. Walked around bc he wasn’t replying to my texts, watched the mariachi on my own. Started walking toward Wursthaus and saw him, and thought hey, he’s pretty cool, tall, looks abt the same as his photos or even better. Called him to tell him I was there and asked where he was. I don’t think he took it as srsly as he should have. He wasn’t really talking to me?? And was more invested in the performances and also his cousin came, so he was with us the whole time. It was so weird. We weren’t really talking abt anything except what music we both liked. He also seemed to know everyone in DTSA. He went to fix the sound when the girl’s PA wasn’t working. I was thinking wtf, you’re supposed to be on a date WITH ME, talking TO ME. Here you are leaving me alone and talking to other people. My parking meter was going to expire in 90 mins, and I was thinking abt booking it then. I was over watching the girl at the stage, so he said we should go to the mariachi stage to catch his friends. I wanted a drink and mentioned that too….saying I wanted a Michelada. It was 10 bucks, such a scam!! And I was like can we pleaseeeeee go get a drink, I’M DYING!!!! We went to Vacation bar and got a batshit host who talked too much. We got Mezcal drinks, and he was asking me abt my spirit animal, and I straight up said Joanne the scammer. Then he said no, a literal animal, so I said a sloth lol. Then after I heard their way better answers, I was like have you guys thought abt this in detail? I asked what animal is a savage. And they probed me abt how savage I was. I replied: I am the most savage person you have ever met. I’m withholding it rn bc you guys aren’t ready for who I really am. Randal said trust me, you can’t shock me, just be who you really are. That’s what I want to know abt people, who they really are and upfront so I’m not shocked later on. I was like you have no idea who I am. And I’m savage for a reason, you don’t know what my intentions are. You have to know if I’m actually a good person or not, and you need way more context to get what I’m saying. My savagery isn’t from malice, it’s for fun and bc I’m evil. They also insulted me correct gif pronunciation. He asked me abt Jorja Smith. I said I would reincarnate as her. We shit on the govt a little bit, and I said whatever you feel, I feel it 5x stronger. Idr the rest, we left to go back to the mariachi. He saw more of his friends, he was planning on hanging out with his group of friends then he lost them. We ended up going to The Gypsy Den, so his cousin could pee. I also finally checked my phone to realize my PARKING METER HAD EXPIRED FOR OVER AN HR. I WAS FREAKING OUT. I CAN’T AFFORD A TICKET!!!! I ran back to find out someone had put more money in my meter. YOU FREAKING ANGEL!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCHH!!!! The car behind me had been ticketed. I am so lucky. Bless up. There are good people in the universe. He asked me do you have rhythm? I was like with what? Dancing? Yes ofc, I’m not a gringo. I came back and we went to an art gallery. Randall asked me what my thoughts were. Me: I don’t like this art/paintings. It’s all dumb and I don’t get it. We went to this other gallery area and he asked me what my thoughts were on this seemingly Japanese and Native American painting. To which I replied, cultural appropriation. I said I would need more context from this artist to see if he/she really understand the history of these people and how their paintings were highlighting anything abt these cultures. We went into another exhibit, and Idk what lead us to this topic, but I said we need more diversity in art, that goes across literature, music, etc. And that there are a lot of good people in the world, but the bad ones are what you remember. I agreed, but my line of thought was more that the bad have so much power. It fucking sucks knowing I can’t do anything abt it. I said I come from a place of a lot of privilege and I want to lift everyone too. Why do the bad people want to suppress and oppress people?? After this, we wanted to go get drinks but his cousin wanted food, so he FINALLY LEFT, SO WE COULD TALK ALONE. We watched this older group of men perform some surfy music, which was not bad at all. I enjoyed it a lot. It was funny bc everyone stood in this whole ass perimeter away from the musicians. Idky they self-segregated, it made me laugh. If nothing else, this is what I’ll take away from Randall’s date with me. We were laughing at this one lady who was dancing in the middle and recording some of the band. I referenced Kris Jenner’s You’re doing amazing, sweetie, and he didn’t get it smh. By now, he had put his arm around me and was lightly touching me. It was a bit past 10 and his cousin and he were talking abt leaving. He said there was a mezcalero close to his apt, and that I could stop by…...if I wanted, so yeah…..He said it so awkwardly, both his cousin and I were like why’d you have to say it like that?? And he replied, bc that’s who I am...that’s me. Then they both stared at me for an answer, and I said stop staring at me, it’s making me uncomfortable. I said I’d come. Parking was horrible. I drank more than I ate yday. I texted him I was there, and he came outside. We walked to the mezcal bar, and the service was shat bc the bartenders were so busy so he asked if I had heard of the Blind Donkey, so we went there instead. Neither of us had been there before, but it was pretty poppin. We got our drinks and I stupidly walked us back out to the entrance thinking it was the upstairs lmao idiot. We sat on a random couch, but it was too loud, so we moved back behind the speakers. They were playing throwback indie bangers, and I was loving. They played Banquet by Bloc Party, and An Honest Mistake by the Bravery. I was like ugh so good, I was sitting dancing, then when Gorillaz DARE came on, I was like okay let’s go dance, and grabbed his hand. He wasn’t a horrible dancer, could use more rhythm, but he was legitimately dancing and having fun, which is what I appreciate! They kept playing really good shit, then he went to dance behind me and sometimes he would wrap his arms around me and hold me which felt nice. And I think his head rested perfectly over my head bc I’m that small. I turned around at one point and kissed him, and he’s not a bad kisser at all. I liked it/him a lot. 8/10. I expect nothing less than his caliber of kissing...Males should not kiss like wet fish or be sloppy. You guys are all old and have had multiple gfs!!! All I have to say for these 90 minutes was that I had a blast, and it was so much fun, and it’ll probably go down as one of my favorite nights of this year. I’m pretty sure we were the only ones dancing at most points of the night, and I DIDN’T EVEN CARE. I am wayyy too tired to process everything, but I had a ton of fun. I mean the latter half of the night will be part of that best night of the year too. Dancing with someone remotely familiar who knows the music is always a fun experience. I asked to leave to get some fresh air, and we hugged outside. He said let’s go take a walk. Not sure what we talked about, but it was nice to be on empty streets walking around. We held hands the entire time. The topic of drugs came up, and I was saying I understand why people take drugs to cope with life bc it’s so fucking hard sometimes, and it’s so overwhelming. It’s hard to deal with it on your own. It’s so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. It feels like a hell hole. He said something along the lines of yeah, I’ve succumbed a few times. I’ve fallen into a depression and went to sleep not wanting to wake up bc there was nothing going for me. Then we got back to his apt area, and we sat on some random steps. Not really sure what we spoke abt here or what his game plan was. He put his arm around me and we chilled. And I kept looking to the left bc I didn’t want to make eye contact to the right O_O He lightly tapped me on my shoulder, so I turned around, then he immediately kissed me (which was so smooth). He’s a great kisser. I liked his rhythm and style. He does the triple lingering kiss at the end which is my favorite thing. He also caresses me full body which is nice too. I’m not that affectionate...so...I’ll work on that. He kissed me all throughout my neck, shoulders, ears. He’s pretty good. At one point, I put my legs over his leg, and it got more intense. He started caressing my legs and going up my thighs. I told myself I wouldn’t get WGW or have sex tonight. Generally, my hand goes immediately to a man’s crotch and I tried to remain as restrained as possible. Then he started going close to my underwear or over it, so I was like yo, 2 can play at this game. And I already knew he had been hard for probably hours, so I grabbed it from outside his pants..and he was wet already. I rubbed his balls, and I could hear him moaning in my ear. He kept putting his hand through my hair to kiss me more intensely, and all I could think was I’M BALD. DON’T DO THIS TO ME. YOU’RE LITERALLY TAKING HAIR OUT!!! My life is already so difficult ); I think earlier he had asked if I was going to drive home or wanted to stay over, and I said I can drive home. He said good bc he lived in a studio and space was limited. Then ¾ into the makeout session, that was TAKING FOREVER with SO MANY PEOPLE PASSING BY AND WATCHING AND SEEING MY CROTCH FLASHED, he whispered, do you really have to go home, can’t you just stay? I didn’t reply. Then this one guy with LLD who made a lot of noise passed by us, so I stopped and looked at him. He laughed….then later he asked can we go to your car and do this in a not so sketchy spot. We are not 17!!!! You are too big for my car anyway. This is fine--there is space here! At points, we would stop kissing and I hugged him tight and rested my head on his shoulder to enjoy the moment, intimacy, and silence. I almost wanted to say this is nice, thanks. Thank god, I didn’t. I also wanted to pull out my phone and soundtrack this scene to Heartbeats by Jose Gonazlez, but that’d be TOO CHEEZY. One time I rested my head on his shoulder and was closing my eyes bc I was so sleepy!!! He’s like are you sleeping??? Bitch I MIGHT BE. I always thought he would finish kissing me after we ended with our lingering kisses, then he’d come back for more. Finally, I said I’m gonna head out bc I’m so tired. He said he’d walk me. We held hands and he walked me back. I said I still have my gum in my mouth, it’s called talent. We kissed AGAIN at the car, then he squeezed me tight and let me go. Told me to drive home safe and light slapped my ass. I was so tired. I still am. How do I feel about all of this? It was a nice and fun night. Did it beat the effortlessness and ease of convo with Liorr? No...But I generally don’t kiss anyone I kind of like/who has potential on the first date. We made out for an entire fucking hour. Holy fuck, NO WATER, NUFFIN. That’s impressive m8. We hung out for about 9 hours. That’s A LONG ASS TIME. I didn’t necessarily feel an intense connection/chemistry, but that’s bc Idk him. There weren’t any red flags for me. Whenever I expressed my opinion, he would validate it and build upon it which is refreshing considering most guys would become defensive and be quick to strike my opinion down. You asked for it, you twats. If you asked me for a perfect date, it would be either be dancing + drinks at a festival/bar, and I got that. I had a fucking blast. Imagine if I actually had a FESTIVAL BAE. WAH ALL I WANT IS TO BE HELD!!! 

9/13 Date #2 

Initial reactions: I felt so safe, seen, understood. It’s so easy. I’m shook. You know how after Tyler and Hannah’s date, Hannah said “I’ve never felt so respected”--that’s how I feel on a smaller scale. I like this d00d bc he has no ego and actually listens to me and replies directly to what I say. We’re so in sync physically, it’s stupid. It’s so easy to talk to him, and the way he holds me--everything. Kill me, I love his kisses; I love the way he smells. He’s way more romantic than me and so affectionate. I am stone cold, and he makes me not want to be that and reciprocate to maybe ⅓ of his level. Who raised him? They did so well! And all his exes did so WELL IN TEACHING HIM HOW TO TREAT A GIRL AND HOW TO KISS. 

I think I like him. That was probably one of my favorite dates ever, if not my favorite date. It was so easy, relaxed, chill, low-key. He said he was leaving for HB early, and wasn’t texting me afterward, so I was kind of hesitant if he actually left or not. I was thinking, “What if I get stood up? Whatever, I can drink at the beach by myself. NBD” He did reply and said he was parked which made me feel relieved. I got out of the car and saw that he was parked and walking toward me. I’ll never get over how tall he is. He surely is taller than 6 ft!!! We walked toward the beach, talked abt our day. I saw that there was a patrol looking car driving along the street we were walking. It was a trash truck, and it was emptying/putting new bags along the walkway. We walked away, and somehow it would always end up behind us. Whatever. We mostly talked about drugs and his experiences with it. I opened a beer too while we talking. He talked abt his preference for psychedelics. He said he did acid while in India with a girl he met up with whom he had hooked up on and off for 3 years back when he was younger. He said the conversation they had while on acid was the reason they were able to maintain a friendship afterwards, otherwise that would’ve been over. Hmmm, cryptic. We finally got to the benches/tables I wanted to sit at, and I said my boots were hurting (which they were). It was pretty wet, but I put down my blanket for us to sit on it. We talked a lot abt his experiences traveling in Sri Lanka/India. I wanted to know more abt Sri Lanka and how he traveled there. He also said India is his favorite country and he wants to return again next year. I asked him what’s the pull for India? Why? He explained to me he liked the duality and chaos, the mix of wealth and poverty, there’s always a lot going on, etc. I said it’s so strange for me to hear someone who loves it so much when my experience was so different and frustrating. I talked abt the instance where we almost got sexually assaulted. He replied: yeah, sorry about that. That’s horrible, I can’t imagine how it is to travel as a girl there. I really appreciated that response. How many guys in the world would be able to apologize, validate me, and empathize? Maybe 3 people. When we sat next to each other, he always rubbed/caressed my back, and they were really good massages tbh!!! When I was telling my India story, he didn’t really do that anymore, sensing the urgency and conflict to come in my story. And Idk when he did this, but we were talking and he ended up resting his head on my shoulder leaning back into me, and it was so cute, I nearly died. I hadn’t been touching him or doing anything. He seemed to feel really comfortable. We talked a lot abt his marketing agency bg, and we talked abt being laid off and what we did after that. I think we were in this weird intertwined position. He hugged me from behind, and he was sitting to my left, but his head was on my right shoulder, so I leaned opp way..and he replied so basically we did the same shit and ran away, diff times. I told him I had the same birthday as Donald Trump and I could relate to him when I was 12 bc I’ve since grown up. When I was 11, I told a kid who stood up on a chair, “be careful not to break the chair!” My teacher, Thompson smh and was like Natalie, you can’t say shit like that. Hippie said he was never in a position to be a bully bc he moved schools when he was in 4th grade from Mississippi to Louisiana. He said he was a hillbilly and spoke with a different accent. I asked him what kind of accent it was, and he kept saying oh man, Idek how to do it anymore. Saying I reckon etcetc, and I laughed bc I hear that only in shows/movies and from British people. He told me I smelled nice. I said, “You do too! I can’t pinpoint the smell tho.” Him: I did shower! He said it’s probably my conditioner. I smelled his hair, and it was def his conditioner. He said when he was working at his agency, he was considered the nerd there bc he played video games and was weird, then he said when he went to work at Blizzard in Irvine, he felt like a jock bc he has interests outside of video games. I can’t even imagine how dweeby everyone is there. He kept saying how tough this year is for him, but he feels like with the changing of the seasons, fall feels like it’s gonna be better (I BETTER BE A PART OF IT). I was starting to get worked up abt my job and complaining, so he said we don’t have to talk abt work anymore and kissed me. We kissed for a long ass time, and he told me, “I really like kissing you.” I replied “I like kissing you, too.” Then he said something like, “I could just sit here and kiss you all night, it’s ridiculous. I especially love your bottom lip. It’s so *insert adjective I can’t recall thick? Juicy? plump?* He kept playfully kissing only my bottom lip, and it was so cute UGH KILL ME. He kissed every inch of my body, legs to arms, head to toe. HE KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND ;_; He kept telling me I was so cute. He asked me if we could go back somewhere, but I said none of us live near here. Funny tidbit: He fingered me (and it was really smooth and FUCKING GOOD. I think our sex would be incredible) then he when he ended, he licked each finger, and he said, “Damn, you taste so fucking good. Weird compliment, but it’s true.” I laughed. I was wearing my high-waisted shorts, and he kept trying to unzip from the front, and I told him the zipper is on the side. He asked why the belt was in the front? “Aesthetics.” He was super hard, but I didn’t want to go thru the trouble of unbuckling his belt and unzipping. He said you know you can undo my pants. So I did...and he asked if I could do it with one hand. And in my head, I was like BRUH PLS LEAVE IT TO THE EXPERT. During this period was when the trash picking up man kept going back and forth behind us making so much noise. I was like srsly??? WE’RE DOING STUFF HELLO. And people were walking at night too. It’s 2am!!! Why wouldn’t you walk during the daytime??? We hugged each other during these moments and laughed. It was a full moon this night, so the beach was so gorgeous and illuminated. When we finished, he said “I should put my dick away.” It was def above average and kind of long??? At the end of everything, when I was folding up the wet blanket, he came from behind and hugged/held me, saying you’re so freaking cute. We stood there and idk what to do but it felt so nice, safe, warm. *cries* He kissed my neck and did the sideways kiss (which I always find super fucking awkward and unromantic), but it was totally sweet and natural with him. I really relished the quiet moments between us. Then we walked back and were talking abt the govt, economics, and corporations. He and I agree on everything so whatever I said, he’d say too. He walked me to my car and we said bye. He held me and kissed me for an extended amt of time. He kept doing the lingering kisses and I couldn’t bring myself to leave. He’s my favorite kisser for sure. I remember thinking “not to be dramatic, but his kisses could bring world peace.”

9/18 Date #3 in Orange

There were so many things that annoyed me before the date. So he said hey I have the apt to myself, come hang out. I thought I was going to Long Beach. I think I worked a 10 hr day, and was like fuck I have to haul ass up to LB now. GREAT. I texted him I was headed out, then he said he was going to an open mic night in Orange. And I was like well wtf, we made plans and you’re just telling me this now? He always tells me things so last minute. I HATE IT. 

Initial thoughts: I don’t think we’re compatible with each other. I don’t think we’re at the same points in our live bc I’ve just come out of my crisis (it’s been a year), and he’s in the thick of his. I don’t think he has enough security in his life to take on another human. And that’s fine--I’m not even needy (ok kind of) but self-sufficient. Not only is he not ready to be in a relationship, but I don’t think we want the same things right now either or have enough common ground. He’s into playing live music and his music collective; he’s spiritual, into yoga and rock climbing. I’m not into that at all. He’s going to a festival for a while, and it’s all spiritual meditation/yoga, which is my fucking nightmare. He never asks anything abt me. It’s mostly me asking questions and getting to know him. Maybe he was having an off day yday. He literally said “I need a place to live 10/1...and ya that’s not going” I’m pretty level-headed abt this, but also I don’t want to be with someone (even if it’s casual) at their best or normal self. I don’t want to be a burden or carry the weight of their burdens. Is that selfish??? I’m realizing this may not be in and taking it in stride. It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing or even something that endures. It could be temporary idk. I’m tempering my feelings for sure. I don’t think I’m the girl for him. I think I’d be a stabilizing force for him and a good ear to bounce ideas off and someone to whom he could vent, but what’s in that for me? I’m learning to be more selfish, not just with my standards, but what I get out of these things. I didn’t have as much fun this time as the last 2, but the bar was so high from the last 2. We can’t always be our best selves, but I’m always my best self when I’m with someone new. Interesting tidbit: He told me the first time he cried was 2012 to Brokeback Mountain. The moment I knew I wasn’t it: He described his dream house/living situation..He said he only wanted to live with musicians and wanted a spare room with a studio to host jam sessions, playing sessions, which is not to say he wants that exclusively and can’t like other things. But I’m so faaaaaaar from that and any other of his passions. I think he’s so invested in music and has tunnel vision with that, that he only wants to be surrounded by other people who want that, too, whereas most normal musicians have non-music friends too. This is me maybe assuming, but I think I’m astute. At the end of the night, we hugged bye and it felt so weird, and I didn’t know what was gonna happen. Bc the entire time, it felt like I was pulling out teeth to keep the conversation going, and he was so aloof and withdrawn. I would cater the convo to topics he liked, and he would give me depressing answers that took me aback. Like when I asked if he snowboarded, he said no, that could hurt my legs. He was so trite. Talked abt his ACL surgery, everything bad that he had experienced….I heard abt it. It was draining for me to listen and keep up a positive attitude and maintain any semblance of levity. At the end, he hugged me, told me to have fun, and have a safe drive out to Vegas. He held me for a bit, so Idk we ended up kissing. It felt empty. He dropped his skateboard and hydro before he kissed me, kind of clunky, kind of funny. I left feeling discouraged and frustrated. 

[cheerstocrazy]

Done Deal

I've been seeing this med student from Michigan who's currently out here for his rotation. I met up with him last Saturday at a bar in Fullerton. Some backstory: matched on Tinder, not a huge fan of him bc he's an essay texter and just terrible texter overall (not my type), and he's not my type physically. But take a chance on the smart ginger. lol. He asked me for tacos but I didn't want to go bc I didn't mentally prepare myself, but we went to the bar instead super late, at 1 am or so. I got a few catcalls, and he was like wow people catcall here so much more than back home. I was like that was nothing, it was only abt 3x, and no one touched me. (Being a female is hard) Afterward, went to get tacos and talked until 3:45 ish?? It was platonic, but we got to talking about our token crazy friends and music festival and finally found some common ground. I could tell he wanted to keep talking to me, but it was kind of late. We parted, and I saw a preview of his text, but I assumed it was a goodnight text. Then when I got home, I saw he asked me if I wanted to drink some modelos at his place. I would've said yes had he just asked me in the parking lot, but nope texted me instead. Anyway he continued to annoy me for days after bc he texts back within a minute. And I was like wtf, you need to calm down a bit. Met up on Wednesday the week after at a bar. Caught some of the World Series game, then he asked me abruptly if I wanted to drink blueberry ales instead. I wasn't sure of the context, but I said sure anyway. Then I realized this was his trick to lure me back to his place, and I didn't wanna do anything sexual bc I was not interested in him, and I didn't want to. So I was freaking out in the rr texting PP asking what to do. I suggested we go to the beach instead bc we couldn't do too much. Drove there and couldn't find parking. I was hoping he wouldn't be able to find it either, so I could just drive home and avoid all this awkwardness that would ensue. Anyway he found parking, I grabbed my blanket bc it was cold. We were walking to the lifeguard tower, and he's like I wish I grabbed my jacket, and I said we could just share the blanket. I wrapped it around him and just left my arm there, which is a very unlinke me move to do. Then I lowered it after I realized my arm would get so tired being in that position. He wrapped his arms around my stomach and love handle. Why do guys like to touch the stomach?? IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE??? I could see that he wanted to kiss me and put his face next to mine, but I always feel so awkward abt that, so I just let it build. I kept looking away from him and stayed quiet. Then I finally turned around to kiss him. Surprisingly he was pretty good at kissing. I tried to go into his pants to give him a hand job, and I squeezed too hard, and he said sorry but that hurts a little. All I could think of in my head was Jenny telling me about something related to being too aggressive with hand jobs. I died and was mortified too. I dont really remember much except he fingered me, said I was a good kisser, said I looked sexy in my black dress, complimented my necklace. After we were all done, he also asked out loud Idky I'm so attracted to girls with long hair, and why guys are in general??? Anyway, it was all very nice, and I thought he was a lovely kisser. Everyone on that beach saw my butthole, I'm sure, but it was so dark, so I guess it's alright. We just laid down and cuddled for a bit after. I felt so comfortable lying with him, which isn't generally what happens with strangers. My neck was gonna get strained bc I was lying on his chest, and it was a little too high. A bit later, I kept seeing a bright light approaching us and it was the cop patrol car coming. So I put the beers on the bottom with my throw on top. Then he's like what do I do with these beers? I said dump it and then held the case up so he could put it in. I said put it to the left, but I forgot we were standing opposite directions, and he was getting super flustered/nervous, so he said aloud, uhhh Idek what I'm doing or where there's even empty space. The patrol car ended up passing us and didn't even see us. We left after that. I said goodbye and he was abt to just walk off without kissing me or anything and so I initiated the kiss and I was on my complete tippy toes and could barely reach him. It was nice.3rd time: He wanted to go out to a place with live music, but I was like but I'd rather watch stranger things....so that happened. Went over, he bought some wine. I honestly should've drank more lol. We watched it and obv the progressive arm over the shoulder and then he put both his arms around me. He complimented my nail polish lol. It was nice to watch something with someone for once. he rested his face on my head, so I felt his scruff. He'd smell me and lightly kiss/bite my ear. He told me my hair smelled so nice, so I said thanks, I didn't even wash it! l o l There was also a scene where the girls check out a guy's ass, and he's like so is that a thing girls being into asses? I was like you're asking someone in the minority, but yes it is a thing. A nice ass is good to have, but I'm pretty indifferent. He replied with "so you're a boobs person" yes. After ep 2 finished, I finally got up to go to the rr and felt a mild buzz at best. Did my round of snapchats, came back, and the room was totally dark. My initial thought was DAMMIT I WANTED ANOTHER EP OF STRANGER THINGS UGH.Well I knew the drill, I sat down to kiss him, then I straddled him. Afterwards, he held me tightly then carried me to his bed and put me down lightly. (I also dr when, but I felt his arms at one point when they were flexed and was like ZAMN lol) He took off my shorts and just went down on me, which felt like an eternity, but I think it was around 20 minutes. Holy shit best 20 minutes of my life for sure. Not sure if I orgasmed or not, but it was literally mind blowing lmao. At one point, I told him to grab my boobs too (and I've never instructed anyone to do anything before hah hah).  He went psycho down there. I'm usually pretty quiet when the things happen, and I'll grunt/moan at best, but I was actually cussing out loud and saying his name too, which I normally do not do. It was AMAZINGGGGGGG, he just got more and more intense, it almost became too much for me to handle. I remember him saying "Oh this tastes so damn good". It started to hurt, but it felt so pleasurable too. 10/10, A1, all the accolates for sure. Idek if he ever even went up for air. I would never have expected it from here. For sure, he went down on me like a possessed person. After he finished, I had to return the favor, and ugh I HATE BLOW JOBS LOL. They're exhausting for my mouth.I was so tired of smelling my saliva too, but dick feels/tastes good. I deep throated him a few times, but I didn't want to leave it too long, bc I didn't wanna gag, and he had good dick. haha I got really tired after a certain point, so I just gave him a hand job on my knees, silently praying for him to cum, so I wouldn't have to put his dick back into my mouth. Lmao. He ended up getting on top of me and I could feel his dick touching me and almost inside of me, so I just said do you have a condom? He went to go put it on. Then I don't think he could find it, so I slid it in. It didn't feel astronomically different, it just felt like a different sensation, since it was something new entering me. I was just getting used to it, so I wasn't too into the pleasure of it, though it did feel good. I can't really explain it. It didn't hurt when we were in missionary or doggy style. When we were doing doggy style, he couldn't find it, so I kept putting it in and it'd slip out, then he put it in my butthole, and I was like nope, and he just started laughing bc this had been after multiple tries haha. I put it in correctly, but since we were at different angles, it just wouldn't stay, it slipped once, and my vagina was just clamping around it, and he didn't even realize, so I just let him have a go at it before I told him it was outside lmao. He was grabbing my boobs then too, and he said out loud "God, I love your tits." Then he made me go on top, and I put it in but it hurt so much at that point and he was touching my clit, and it was overwhelming for me, and I didn't even know what to do. I should've went down and used his shoulders as something to hold on and thrust like that instead of riding him like a cowgirl lmao. It hurt, and Idk whether he could sense I didn't like it or that he wanted action, but he turned me over and just did missionary again. He came inside of me and just left his dick inside and kissed me so tenderly. It was so nice. Afterward he pulled out, and we just held each other in a full embrace with our bodies fully intertwined for 2 minutes or so. It was such a nice moment. Post-coital bliss/afterglow IS A VERY REAL THING. I loved it so much. It was such an intimate and personal moment -- possibly one of the most intimate/vulnerable moments ever. Then I said I'mma go use the restroom and attempted to find my clothes in the dark. He went to the restroom first, while Iooked for my shorts. I couldn't find anything else. He turned the lights on, and I was like Im just gonna wear your shirt since I can't find my shirt, so he just stood in front of me as I put his shirt on. I don't mind too much about the boobs. I wore my shorts without underwear, so when I went to the rr, I saw hints of blood on my short bc I was spotting. I was like fuck, I forgot about this. I wore my shorts without underwear, then idk when I went to the rr again to put on my underwear. Afterward, we watched one more ep of Stranger Things, and he just wrapped both his arms around me while I laid my head in the nook of his shoulders. We were exhausted afterwards, honestly I was exhausted during the entire thing and just wanted to sleep.We both crawled into bed and I took inner left, and he just draped his arms and body over me. He knocked out immediately and started snoring into my right ear. I laid there petrified and thinking oh fuck me, I am not going to sleep tonight BC HE SNORES AND I DON'T HAVE EARPLUGS. I could hear the piercing sound of silence so clearly! I was delirious and felt like I was living in a lucid nightmare bc I kept thinking we were inside a restaurant area and there were a bunch of food trucks around like in Austin. I wanted thai food, he was standing next to a bbq stand, and I was like how are they even gonna make food for us at this hour and where would they even make it?? I got up bc I needed to pee and it was 6 am, I stumbled when I got out not realizing how fucking tired I was. When I peed, I looked at the toilet and it was completely bright red. I was like fuck. I came back and he asked me if I threw up. I was like what lol no. I finally was able to sleep on and off after. At one point, he cuddled up to me and he was sleeping in the upper bed with just sheets, then I think he got too cold and migrated to the lower bed with blankets. Also he sleeps on his back, so it's hard for him to cuddle with me and sleep, since I'm a side sleeper haha. Idr most of the morning, but he awoke around 9 ish and I woke up for a bit too. He asked me if I slept well, and I said not really. He asked if he snored too, and I said yeah. He said I'm so sorry, you should have kicked me. I rolled over and said out loud "I'm so cold, do you have any blankets?" He said yes, he took the blankets and draped it over me and then went under them and cuddled up with me, UGH LOVED IT. He's so sweet. He went over me and cuddled me from behind on the left side bc I turned over. He wrapped himself around me once more and we fit so perfectly. He would fondle me, he did this for the past hour, but I was too self conscious about spotting and also I WAS EXHAUSTED, I couldn't open my eyes. I thought abt it so many times -- turning over and playing with him too for morning foreplay -- but I couldn't bring myself to. I needed the sleep. He laid on my hair so many times and I was like T_T He kissed the back of my neck and just softly caressed my stomach side boob top of vag. He nibbled at my ear too, it was all so nice and comforting. I was just too tired, I couldn't do it. sorry bro bro. Then at 11:30, I finally woke up and was on my phone scrolling thru insta. I also dr when but he saw my phone screen with all my nieces and nephews and went "oh how cute!!" -__- did I say you could look? He's like do you wanna go get breakfast burritos, then I got right out of bed. and he said I thought you'd be more excited by that...I was like well I finally got out of bed after 9 hrs, what more do you want? Then he said yeah I woke up earlier, but I knew you were tired so I let you sleep. lol lol lol. For some reason, he asked me if he should wear his half fabric/leather kinna like brogues, but not quite out or chukka boots, and I was like chukka boots all the way. I also asked him if he had listerine or anything I could use to clean my teeth, and he's like uhh...have you tried the finger with toothpaste method before. I said yeah lol. There was so mcuh freaking toothpaste leftover in my mouth. omGOD. He said "I would've told you t bring your own toothbrush, but that would've been presumptuous." I also changed in his restroom bc I said I was gonna pee as well, Idk just thought it'd be weird to change in front of him. Ok it wouldn't be weird, I'd just feel weird haha. We left to grab breakfast. He ordered first and the cashier was like is that all, and he kinna stood there awkwardly while I stood way behind bc I was just gonna pay for myself. Then he bought my food for me, and it was kinna weird lmao. We sat across from each other talking about politics (ofc!) and he held never moved his gaze from my face, and all I could think was omg I haven't washed my face, I dont even have makeup on anymore. GOD. The burrito was pretty good. The conversation was so casual, everything was so casual as if nothing happened hahaha. We walked back to the car, he sat down and he blurted out in a hushed manner "I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue last night." I lold so fucking hard and just said GG bc what ELSE WOULD I SAY?? HAHAHA He's like what does that mean? Then blah blah he asked me about parks & rec, and said he's a lot like Chris Traeger bc he's really optimistic and we were talking abt the word literally. I said I'm a lot like April Ludgate. He said oh I can totally see that. I saw it in the text that you sent me yday. People tell me I'm kind of like Andy Dwyer. I was like what are you implying? That we're gonna fall in love bc you're not my type. Anyway he parked in front of me, so I just kinna walked to my car and peaced out. He walked over and wanted a hug, and I was like ugh making it so awkward, so I gave him a hug and saw he wasn't gonna go down for a kiss then he did last minute, and it was so messy and jumbled and it was a quick peck. lol. To describe him physically, I'd say he's very affectionate, sweet, gentle, cuddly, and romantic. The sex was 6/10, but I think it's bc first time and also him going down on me was way better haha