#he looks like if a piranha wanted to be a real boy

[carsaadi]

Low quality idiot

[irisintheafterglow]

it's no secret that olympic athlete!sakusa despises parties. you don't make it easier on him, especially during the jackals' annual holiday party.

cw: a little suggestive toward the end but nothing explicit (he does things to me can you blame me)

he was in hell. the table was too loud, the people were too loud, and he couldn't find you. to make matters worse, his teammates seemed to be hellbent on catching you and him under the mistletoe.

"i swear, i'm going to shove a candy cane so far up your-"

"hey, no vulgarity! it's christmas," atsumu cuts in with a mischievous sparkle in his eye. the effects of the spiked eggnog in his cup were obvious, much to sakusa's disgust. "plus, objects shoved up our lovely posteriors would impede our mission for the night." snickers run through the remainder of the group, drowned out immediately by the chatter of the party. even though it was tradition and the most talked about event for months, it still didn't make the atmosphere any less hell-like.

"and then i'm going to hide your bodies so well, the police won't even know where to look," sakusa continues, sending them a glare over the rim of his soju bottle. his friends watch his eyes flick over the faces in the crowd, searching the shut-down hotel restaurant for whom they could only assume was you.

"yeah, yeah, then you'll be at our funerals with the fake tears running rampant and telling our mothers how great we were. we've heard this spiel before," bokuto dismisses with a wave of his hand and a knowing smirk on his face. "just you wait. you'll be thanking us later, lover boy."

"i hate you all," he replies, registering the journalist's approach seconds before she arrives at their table. "media," he warns quietly. "don't do anything dumb."

"evening, boys," she greets a split second later, shrewd eyes raking over the group. sakusa tries to keep his grimace off his face. the task proves difficult, though, when he can practically hear atsumu set his sights on charming her by the end of the night. "mind if i snap a picture of you all looking so handsome?" atsumu clumsily sputters out an answer, resting an arm around hinata's shoulders and forcefully pulling sakusa closer as bokuto smiles wide enough to cover the entire frame. a click and a familiar blinding flash later, the image is taken and he tenses in anticipation of the inevitable follow-up conversation. "so, how are you boys feeling tonight? enjoying the party?"

"we are," hinata answers before anyone can stop him from accepting the invitation for questions. "we were just talking about our plans for the rest of the evening."

"yep, involving sakusa and the mistletoe. he doesn't want us to say that, though," bokuto whispers at the same volume he normally speaks.

"oh? do tell more." her eyes shine like a piranha's and it makes sakusa's stomach turn. "who's the lucky lady? i'd love to get her side of all this, too." a clever batting of her eyelashes toward atsumu has him nearly crawling over the table to answer her.

"you're gonna love this, ma'am. the one sakusa's been after is-"

"this isn't a press event, so i'd advise you enjoy the rest of the festivities. thank you for your time," sakusa informs her flatly, much to the dismay of his teammates. he was never one for interviews, much less team ones, and catching him off-guard at a party was a surefire way of pissing him off. it was a golden opportunity for her, yes, but one more question out of her lipsticked mouth would force him to take a walk. "enjoy the party."

"wait, but-"

"omi? d'you mind walking me to the car real quick? i forgot my chapstick and the cold is making my lips dry." a gentle hand on sakusa's shoulder instantly eases any tension in his body and he hopes you can feel the gratitude radiating from him. it takes him a moment to collect himself enough to stand, curtly excuse himself from the table, and walk with you toward the door. his fingers intertwine with yours as your shoes click across the marble tiles of the hotel lobby, pulling you closer when you step into the winter night. "did you like my little rescue? i've been working on my acting skills," you ask with a small smile once you're finally away from prying eyes and nosy ears.

"i'll make space on the bookshelf for your academy award. and yes, more than you'll ever understand," he exhales, slowing your pace while he waves down the valet to retrieve his car. "i only wish you got there sooner."

"and caused more drama? i would think a volleyball player understands that timing is everything," you tease, brushing a stray curl from his face and running your thumb across his cheekbone. "i can't blame her, though. you do look ridiculously good tonight." his ears become the slightest shade pinker and you can't hide your giggle at his embarrassment. he never was the best with words, nor did he outwardly show a lot of emotion. but, after knowing him for so long, you found that the right words could have him in a puddle before you in less than a few sentences.

"speak for yourself," he counters in a tone low enough to give you goosebumps, ones that weren't from the chilly air. "it's been a struggle to keep my hands to myself for a few hours." his hand snakes across your lower back and grabs you by your waist, closing any remaining space between your bodies. he tracks the way your fingers dig around your bag, how you're conveniently avoiding his eyes just to drive him even more mad. "what're you doing, dove?"

"grabbing my chapstick," you reply nonchalantly, popping off the cap and swiping it across your bottom lip a few times. his eyes burn on your skin and you sneak a glance at his face to find his pupils blown to the size of ornaments. you were really testing his resolve tonight. "what, you really think i'd go anywhere without this?"

"no," he admits, eyeing his car as it pulled into the roundabout. "i knew that was bullshit from the moment you walked up to the table. the guys probably knew it, too."

"you think that lady knew it?"

"no way, unless hinata's lips got loose." on instinct, you step into the passenger's side after he opens the door.

"can you imagine the headline? 'stats analyst steals away star hitter during the middle of a holiday interview. dive into the rumors of sakusa's secret relationship!' i'd never hear the end of it," you chuckle once he slides into the driver's seat. with the heater blasted and the seat warmer turned all the way up, you suddenly remember why you're in the car in the first place. "wait, shouldn't we go back inside?"

"why should we?" a dangerous glint appears in your boyfriend's eyes and you're thankful for the darkness that hid your warming face. "i've got all i need right here." with one more glance to make sure all the windows were rolled up, he finally leans over and presses his lips to yours. with a sigh, you let his hand wander over your leg, lightly stopping its trajectory with a hum when it creeps closer to your inner thigh. "too much? we can go back in if you don't wanna bail yet."

"no, i'm okay. i know you're ready to go, too," you murmur. even before you were officially in a relationship, there existed a silent understanding that, when one of you got tired of socializing, the other would be their excuse to leave. "tell the boys we got food poisoning from shrimp cocktail."

"neither of us ate the shrimp cocktail."

"who's gonna know? don't you wanna go home?" the jerk of the key in the ignition is the answer you receive, followed by the engine roaring to life. "i'll consider that a yes. it's a shame i have to hang up this outfit early, though. i do like it a lot." you unsuccessfully attempt to fake a frown, pulling at the expensive fabric of your party clothes. it was half the truth, but the other half of the truth stayed unspoken while his hand laid itself back on your thigh as he left the hotel in the dust.

"don't worry," he mutters without taking his eyes of the road. "i'll help you take it off."

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[delightfullyquirkydoodles]

Okay, buckle up, friends and neighbours, because it's time for:

THE DOOPLISS DISSERTATION

(Obviously, you should take all of this with a HUGE chunk of salt, since I'm not only an internet-poisoned fandom blogger, but also a former English major with a penchant for over-reading.

Still, I spent a long time writing this, so I'd appreciate it if you gave it a read.)

So before we talk about Doopliss himself, I feel like we should talk about Creepy Steeple, since a lot of the topics I'm going to be touching on relate to the actual building.

Neither the original Gamecube version nor the Switch remake really bothers to explain what Creepy Steeple actually is.

None of Goombella's tattles say anything about the building's intended purpose. The name vaguely implies that it's a church of some kind -- in Japanese, it's called Odoron Jiin, or "Astonishing Temple" -- but that's still not very helpful.

Still, for the purposes of this analysis, I'm going to assume that it's meant to be a church.

This brings me to the Steeple's stained glass window, which shows a scary-looking Doopliss standing over some piranha plants.

From a design standpoint, I'm guessing that this detail was added to give the location a spooky vibe, but from an in-universe perspective, the implications are wild.

Like, who designed this? How long ago? And why? What the heck is it supposed to represent?

Unsurprisingly, the game offers no real answers, but I have a couple of theories.

The first is that the people of Twilight Town (or their ancestors, or something) created the window in Doopliss's honor.

Stained glass windows often depict saints or angels, so maybe the Twilighters used to worship him? Like, maybe Creepy Steeple was once dedicated to him and then, for whatever reason, the worshippers decided to leave?

It's not super likely, but I didn't want to rule out any possibilities. This is a weird freaking temple. Literally anything is possible, as far as I'm concerned.

My second theory is that Doopliss designed the window himself. He seems like a guy with a lot of spare time, so it's not too much of a stretch to say that he came up with the idea and then spent weeks building it by hand.

He could have also bullied the Boos into constructing it for him. I dunno. I just have this mental image of him pulling pranks on them and generally being a nuisance until they caved.

The bottom line is someone wanted to Doopliss's face to be front and center. And if that someone is Doopliss himself, then hoo boy, there is a lot to unpack here.

Maybe I'm projecting, but it feels like Doopliss is wrestling with some major self-esteem issues.

Despite being an incredibly powerful shapeshifter who somehow cursed an entire town, he seems very childish. He spends all his time watching TV and coming up with new jokes. He throws tantrums when he loses. He wears a party hat, of all things.

Based on that, I'd say that he's probably starved for attention. He's probably pretty lonely living in Creepy Steeple all by himself (doubly so if my theory about the Twilighters is correct).

I'd even go so far as to say that his scheme to turn the Twilighters into pigs is motivated by this need for attention. I mean, what better way to get people to notice you than to cause a town-wide panic?

I feel like the disguises he uses over the course of the main story also support this theory.

Though Mario, Zip Toad and Professor Frankly are quite different from one another, they all have one important thing in common: they're famous. Mario's a world-renowned adventurer, Zip Toad is a well-known actor and Frankly is a tenured professor whose students love him.

Doopliss even alludes to this after stealing Mario's body, telling him, "You're so popular around here! I just love being you!"

By transforming into beloved figures, Doopliss can get the attention he craves.

I also think that this is why he joined the Shadow Sirens. Sure, Beldam abuses him almost as badly as she abused Vivian, but at least she notices him. That's better than nothing.

The most conclusive piece of textual evidence is found in the epilogue. In her letter to Mario, Goombella explains that Doopliss has joined Flurrie on-stage in her production of "Paper Mario".

Obviously his shapeshifting abilities make the play a lot more realistic, but why would he bother participating in it at all? This guy was a villain for most of the game. Why would he suddenly decide to join up with one of his enemies?

Because, as far as I can tell, he's not a villain. Just a guy who's sick of being ignored.

I dunno. Doopliss's motivations have never been super clear, but I feel like there's more to him than meets the eye.

If you have any thoughts or ideas of your own, feel free to comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

[sunnysidesevenup]

I am having Arlo/Neige thoughts again so. Here is some rambling and headcanons about their relationship!!!

tagging!! @jadelover69 @kirexa @lallopsyou @miriaocs @jovieinramshackle

- Arlo is originally only interested in photography but after talking with Neige so often, he ends up getting into film making. However all of his films end up weirdly sad at first and make Neige cry so he has to ban him from watching them lmao. Eventually he starts making happier things!!

- once they’re adults Neige ends up getting Arlo to do most of his photo shoots, mostly because Arlo prioritizes him being comfortable and happy and other people tend to not really care about his opinions as much.

- they go to the movies literally so often. so many movie nights. Neige is the BIGGEST fan and it’s infectious. they watch stuff and then talk about it for hours afterwards.

- when they first start dating Arlo is initially really nervous about coming off as too intense, and Neige IMMEDIATELY dispels that fear by buying him a bouquet of flowers for three dates in a row.

- they share clothes a lot, and Vil is SO MAD every time he has to see Neige’s sweater 😭

- previously thought to be incapable of hating anyone, Neige hates Arlo’s entire immediate family lmao

- following up on Neige thinking it would be fun to play a villain, he expresses this to Arlo once who says he can’t really picture him like that and would be interested to see if he could pull it off. Cue Neige jokingly acting out a villain character and Arlo immediately becoming so flustered he can’t speak. (He likes every version of Neige, but this one was just unexpected, okay?!)

- Arlo only takes photos of his own volition if he thinks things are beautiful, which usually means he never takes photos of people unless he’s asked to for a job. He doesn’t try to hide this, either.

- Neige invites him out to see cherry blossom trees at some point, and while he’s looking at them he hears a click and turns to see Arlo taking a picture of him. “Sorry, I just wanted to.” Arlo doesn’t realize it’s actually a big deal at first until Neige gets really flustered and happy about it.

- Neige gets asked in an interview once who his ideal partner would be, to which he answers “someone charming, sweet, and passionate!” Arlo immediately breaks a vase in pomefiore and then picks a fight with a third year lmao

- while NRC students tend to get pretty angry and chase out RSA students when they visit, Neige can visit all he wants because he’s with Arlo (who has a reputation similar to the Leech twins, just with a different vibe)

- Occasionally, when Vil is particularly annoyed, he’ll drag along Arlo to his joint shoots in hope that it will distract Neige. This works but also frequently backfires, because Neige then puts in extra effort.

- Neige is VERY public and vocal about how much he loves his boyfriend once they start dating (with Arlo’s permission, of course). He posts a ridiculous amount of pictures with the two of them, and nearly every time he has to talk in an interview he somehow manages to mention how much he loves Arlo 😭

- Arlo definitely cried over this a few times. He goes from never believing anyone at all will love him to having a partner who literally tells every single person at any opportunity how much he cares for him. It takes him a while to process it’s real.

- Despite no one thinking he would be, Arlo is a very, VERY supportive partner. Neige tells him about a charity or cause he’s trying to raise funds for and you KNOW he’s going to stand menacingly behind his boyfriend and glare at anyone who thinks the charity is pointless or stupid. You WILL donate.

- Neige now has scary dog privilege but the scary dog is actually the tiniest piranha merman ever. rip my boy for being 5’2. (He can still bite with razor sharp teeth with force 30 times his body weight though, so like. run?)

[rosetyler42]

Hi! I'm curious to know about your Hotel Transylvania OC's 😁

Get ready for an Infodump below the cut! XD

Lucy and Simon Van Dracula, or the Van Dracula Twins, are my version of Drericka ship children. They're born 13 min apart by Cesarian, and were something of a surprise considering Ericka's advanced age.

Lucy (full name "Lucille") is the oldest, and despite her vampire powers and pride in being monstrous, she takes after her mother and Brother-in-law. She's a chaotic mischievious free-spirited laid back fun-loving charmer, a real little Terror who knows her legendary status and is proud of it. Unlike Dennis or Mavis, though, Lucy has a PRIDE in her monstrosity. She ENJOYS it. In a way, she's something like Ericka's chaotic inner child given voice, and given the monstrosity Ericka and Johnny never got. She's also has far more freedom and social interaction growing up than Mavis, having grown up around both humans and monsters when monsters no longer had to hide...and Ericka's far less uptight a parent than Drac or Mavis, as she wants her kids to have the freedom she never did and she herself was training from a young age. Drac's also relaxed a bit over the century since having Mavis, though he's still the more uptight of the two. I figured him having to deal with a bouncy crazy ball of chaos for a kid would be funny, considering he's not good with chaos XD She's into dramatics and art/drawing, is a natural at languages, and has her mother's skill in gymnastics and martial arts...augmented by her father's vampire powers, of course! Unlike Dennis, she can also hypnotize and has hypnosis resistance, and her animal transformations are fully dark brown like her hair instead of black.

If Lucy is Ericka's inner child, Simon is Drac's. He's sorta what would have happened if Dennis or Drac never got Vampire powers. Like his father, he's on she shyer, quieter, more timid side and is the pragmatic braincell to Lucy's shenanigans. That said, there's something of a "Beware the quiet ones" to him. While his family is loving and accepting, he feels like the odd one out, both due to his lack of powers and unusual chunky size, and has had to work to be scary. Ericka and Drac both went to great lengths to make sure Simon never went through feeling like the "Weak little boy" Dennis did, and since Ericka and Drac aren't as overprotective, Simon's less over-sheltered than Dennis was. Where Lucy is the "Looks like she could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll," Simon inherited his mom's "Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually KILL you" tendency. And like her, he'll do it either with deadly coldness or a smile. Ontop of this, the boy has a love of sailing and the ocean...especially the more scarier aspects like Pirates, electric eels, sharks, piranha, squid and octopi, and of course...krakens and other sea/water monsters. He also has his mom's love and nerd-dom of weaponry. It's part of his way of being scary. I've also drawn him and Dennis playing with the old "My First Guillotine" somewhat inspired by the scene in the HT2 novelization where Dennis uses the guillotine to chop off an action figure's head and that scene in Addams Family Values with Pubert, Pugsley, and Wednesday. Simon's more into cooking and playing the ukelele in terms of hobbies, and while he isn't as good with languages as his sister, knows a fair amount.

Dynamic-Wise, they're kinda like Ian and Barley from Onward, Wednesday and Pugsley from The Addams Family, Zack and Cody from the Suite Life, or Phineas and Ferb.

Both of them have slowed aging after 5 years old, enhanced durability, strength, agility, and speed (Though Lucy's is of course more obviously powered while Simon's more just beyond average.) They're a bit cooler than normal humans and have slower heart beats. And while they can both day walk, they can still sunburn and are allergic to both garlic and silver. (While Ericka and Drac taught them both to use weapons, they're not allowed to use wooden stakes or silver weapons just in case.) Although none of them are as deadly to them as they would be to a pure-blood vamp.

In terms of culture: James, Mavis, Dennis, and Abraham are the twins' main exposure to human things (esp. prior to school) as Drac and Ericka don't really have experience with normal human culture themselves. Since the Dracula family is Jewish coded and Ericka's family is christian coded, I decided the twins are interfaith, raised with both Christianity and Judaism so both cultures get celebrated without one overshadowing the other. Their Hebrew names are Shimown and Liorit for Simon and Lucy respectively. They're basically Russian, Romanian, possibly Hungarian going off the OG book, and Dutch. I also love the idea where... since Drac largely raised Mavis alone, and these two are twins to middle age parents...I like the idea of the pack helping raise these two. After all, Drac's apparently close enough to the pack for the Werewolf pups to call him uncle and Mavis to call Eunice "Auntie," so why not? Johnny and Mavis are even the god parents of the Twins and often the ones to help out since they live in the same building (and are the best options out of the pack.) They of course know everything about Martha and how Mom was originally trying to kill dad. Drac even made his own storybook saying how they met (The Drac-Tastic read along from the Bluray. "I saw it on a Blu-ray disc. Bonus stuff." XD) I also have a headcanon they're into Goosebumps, especially Lucy. Her favorite is Slappy. Simon also likes 2000 Leagues Under the Sea, and they both grew up with Sesame Street and Blues Clues. (I've been on a kick and hey, they're probably more tolerable than Kakie.) I also have the headcanon Lucy looks up to Johnny quite a bit, while Simon more identifies with Mavis, Dennis, and Frankenstein.

For names: Lucy is named after Lucy Westenra, the first female vamp turned on-screen in the OG book and adapations. Though in universe, Drac named her Lucille, probably from a mix of a female version of Lucifer and it meaning "Little Light." Lucy is a nickname. Liorit also means "My Light." As for Simon, I went with the in-universe idea Ericka simply had ancestor named Simon and liked the name. But in reality, I simply reused a name from an early version of Johnny (and possibly re-used into Ericka) called Simon Van Helsing, who was originally a monster hunter who fell for Mavis after finding the hotel. Simon and Shimown also means "Harkening" which is perfect considering Drac...could REALLY use a reminder to listen to others sometimes. XD

Their inspirations of course are something of a mix of Pubert Addams - both Normal and Addams-esque; Wedneday and Pugsley, Popeye and Bluto, @lovelylivelyv 's Bendy OC Jack Nephalem, Uncle Fester and Debbie, Abraham Van Helsing and the other large Van Helsing bricks + their bucktoothed overbite, Mother Gothel (kinda), Dr. Frankenfurter, Katharyn Hahn, Human!Drac, Vampirica, the HT2 Vamp Kids at Winniepecaca, "What if Drac had a humany son instead of a vampire after what happened with Dennis?", "What if he had a child like Johnny and Ericka?" The promo fakeout for Dennis being a "little terror", Martha art with brown hair, and "We've never seen a female Dhampir." They also kinda bear a resemblance to Pinky (PATB) and Young Man Rivers (Foster's Home.) Though that was unintentional.

I got alot more about these two, but I already stayed up too late and I need to go to bed. XD Will probably reblog with more pictures soon.

Tag list @lovelylivelyv @i1lyidkstupid @hotelt-resurrection @ssleeping-in-a-coffin

@oc-center @oc-celebration

[slate-skylar]

Carol Eyre was something of a comfort item to him. He would never say it quite like that, as of course the other boy would balk at being called an item of any sort. But over the past year and a half, he had shockingly gotten to know Carol, though at first it was only because he wanted to write an article on him during his internship at the Voice. He fucking hated the show that the Odair family had airing on Capitol televisions, hated its vapidness and the fact that it was just propaganda for Career families. It wasn't what Victory really looked like, not what Slate had seen of it up close in the Tower. Victory was hard, it was scrambling to return to your life only to find that your life was gone, and anyway, you no longer fit into it. He wouldn't wish it on his worst fucking enemy. But there were the Odairs, capitalizing on it all.

He'd pitched an article on Carol, who had wound up being sort of a side show in the whole Odair franchise, and who he found himself feeling bad for. Surely Carol had his own story to tell, and Slate intended to help him tell it. The article had been accepted on the chance that he'd actually pull it off, and he did. He'd used his presence at the Tower to worm his way in, then had spent a weekend with Carol at his home, learning more about him, finding that he cracked open more easily than Slate had expected. In turn Slate had even given a few secrets of his own. All in all, he'd written the article, it had been published, and... no one really gave a shit. Idiots who couldn't see past the Odair shine. Who didn't care about a Victor's real story.

Still, it had led to an unlikely friendship, like that between a piranha and a shark. (Slate was no goldfish, but still, he came from a much smaller tank than Carol's ocean.)

He found him in one of the lounges, a place Slate really wasn't supposed to be and therefore frequented most, with a book he was incensed to show someone. "Not to sound uneducated," he started without a greeting, sitting down next to him and holding out the book, "but I just saw this History of Panem book for the first time, and I have some thoughts. I need to know: do people actually think this shit is true?" It was a history that was completely washed over any wrongdoing or even unkindness on the part of the Capitol. Carol was from the Districts, Carol may have been taught from this book. Maybe he knew.

@caroleyre

[art-i-know-yes]

SPOILERS FOR LIMITED LIFE FINALES

im in class

Tango's Pov

rip skizz pour one out

laaaaassstttt epissoooooddeee

rough session is...yeah

"im the lowest!" "that's why you're in charge"

hiding. the plan is hiding.

Martyn always plans names

already bombing

team merge

bread bridge 2 is the hellscape

learning your lesson

scott is NOT waiting

Nosey Neighbors, TIME, Scott, and The Clockers

yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh

rule #1 is to always look up

one death and Etho is GOONNEE

grian scream :D

grian death :(

wow he wanted his time back

right back at him

BDUBS

awww ur soulmate

that looks awful

TANGO

oooo wasn't grian

surprise scar

14 MINUTES

they're hunting each other

DID THE BORDER MOVE

FALL DAMAGE

when did cleo die

rip tango

Scott's POV

whatcha doing babe

silent huh

YOU'RE NEARLY YELLOW

that's a lie

i just got Grian's notification

not for long

oh so martyn actually left the mean gills

im so excited to who's gonna win bc is not The Clockers

real time bomb set up

so...it went badly

one death

ok kinda figured it was planned

yes. very important to the deal.

gg babe

im so excited for Grian's pov bc wtf

like I know it's a game but like

scott dies in here

'sorry spilled my lava'

jinx

yeaaahhhh

a lot is happening

some of them hours

he's really just handing them out

scott is terrifying is the lesson

my heart

rip babe cause like

scott loses this game so sorry Beyonce

knew it was a play

"impulse :["

grian babe you had 5 hours. to have lost a solid 3.

OMG

Scott's--UGHH. the music he put scared me and THEN he backed away off the ladder. my heart.

GRIAN--WHY YOU ALWAYS AFTER SCAR

ALL THE CLOCKERS ARE OUT

"underwater?" "underwater." *next clip not in the water*

"i just wanna talk"

oooo they do (another headcannon lmao pearl and grian are siblings. of course very popular)

forgive each other's sins

"you can't see it from the ground" -joel

it's just up and up

so under bread bridge

plz no

grian is a 'yes and' man

GRIAN'S HACK

DIVE BABES

well there goes them

who died there

peaaaarll

RUN BIGB

HELL YEAH

"round table of compliments" for skizz!

scott keeps looking up and it's so funny

awwwwww

"you scare me" "awww"

"and now we kill each other"

rip bigb

bigb hacks

byeeeee dan

betrayal arc from i e

"martyyynnnn they tried to kill me" "who what where" "impulse and ethoooo" "alright they're dead" it's so cute

side note: my favorite thing out of this season is people being like 'this is a kindergarten playground.' i love it so much bc it's keeps it fun and cutesy. still love my angst tho

MEAN GILLS love em

the idea of everyone being like 1 or 2 deaths kicking them out the game is like exhilarating

oh. martyn.

NOO GRIAN last 6

everybody's off

BYEEE ETHO

Scott's so good

bye bye PEARL

mean gills vs impulse

8 minutes

even playing field

AHHHHHHH MARTYN

I figured it be one of them

HE WON YES OOO MEAN GILLS

babe said put him down

"my own mean gill. and i wouldn't have it any other way."

ya know the entire sun, star, moon win thing we got going on. well we have the Listener/Watcher which kind of fits in.

this is the the second time I've learned who won by actually watching and not just looking it up

Grian's Pov

solidarity. huh.

"my stuff"

i did vaguely think about boogey

well i wonder if that happens

"it works!"

well. there's that trap.

where's your mother

"went out for milk with the neighbor" lmao

oh. well. good idea.

he really is bc he's been wandering like this entire ep

literally did not hear a word from Grian other than a scream in...there

they're bullying him/j

was that a grian kill? i thought that was a tie kill

bad boy till the end

fun fun fun for the boy

the silent fights are the best bc you know they're all stressed

oh you created that one the sky height

IT WAS GRIAN

awww his cackle

it genuinely makes me very happy

he's just begging

ohhh that explains that one

oh that was pearl's

OH HE GOT CLEO TOO

final kills should give an hour

this season nobody actually ran out of food

like piranhas

too bad neither was right

the bridge will provide

potato pier will also provide

ok so i was right

gUlp

ya know each session is like 3 hours and so 8 episodes is basically 24 hours

oh so if you're in the same side you can't do anything but lmao

"MY BREAD"

babe just drowned

50 SECONDS

from every angle

what kills you grian I'm so curious but i have 8 more minutes

it's the feeling of being a badboy

awww scar's little 'cUtEgUy"

PROTECT THE PODCAST

ohhhh OHHH BC HE GAVE ETHO THE SWORD

even stevens

it's just loop and loop and loop

"pearl-friends PEARL.FRIENDS."

pearl is too feral

good luck

this music

WOOOOWWWW. YOU PULLED A JIM. YOU PULLED A JIMMY.

rip my bad boy

"ooOOOOoOooO spooky"

you did well tho. very good.

Jimmy. jimmy please. I SO BADLY WANT TO KNOW YOUR REACTION.

sighhhh the bad boy way spreads. they all died on bread bridge.

MARTYN'S MY LAST ONE AND I WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY FINISHED THE SERIES THE DAY OF AND NOT MONTHS AFTERWARDS...

Martyn's Pov

very excited to watch.

im listening on 2x speed bc he mostly with views I've watched

untrue and you know it

very funny fast speed voices

water people love it

oh he did that

oh so much happened

fast suspense music

for the /j

"Wow this map is huge" Yeah literally half of the map was just ignored

3 numbers that kill you from boat drop

you know the fact that Scott let them do that but i guess it makes sense bc he's pretty honest but

wow martyn

nope just Grian

he was instant with that jump

he killed etho WOO

mad maneuvers

almost pulled a tango

had to change it back to normal speed. headache :(

mean gills double team

you got him with his own bucket

scott was putting on work

'hard sweat hard sweat why you gaming so hard'

4 hr 8 min

like our fore fathers who watch on

lmao went insane

why we counting down

fair. ominous.

back here

OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THE FRAGMENT SOUL THINGS

is he free from being a Listener now that his soul is safe

im so spacey that i can't really understand

ok wait. there are watchers. they are Listeners. not free but still trying to run away from a choice. after each perma death(?) [for martyn] there's a soul fragment and woven together they make his soul.

that's the gist, right?

ANYWAY THATS THE END AND AHAHHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY HE WON WOO

annnnddd im actually caught up on every pov bc the first 2 i only watched grian and in dl i got too behind and only watched grian's finale (as well as Jimmy's but...we all know how that ended)

anyway im happy. im scared to read angst. and i really want to see more of the kindergarten playground au type beat. but. yeah. that was fun.

[whltlock]

neverletyougo (v)

part one / part two / part three / part four / part five

Summary: He keeps your hand on his cheek, and you glance at the small, sentimental gesture. It ignites something in you, something you can’t quite name yet, but you think it might’ve been there a while.

Info: jason todd/reader, friends to lovers, friends with benefits, mutual pining, minor zatanna/reader. smut. oral sex.

You ambush him while he’s trying to work in the library. It leads to the bathroom where you push Jason against the wall, mouth on his. You’re not even in a stall—just out in the open—and it’s a little distracting, especially when he catches your reflection in the mirror.

“Sweetheart,” he croaks as you kiss down his throat, “you’re gonna get me banned for life.”

Your devilish smile presses into his skin. “Then be a good boy and stay quiet.”

Jason’s head smacks against the wall with a groan. “Can’t when you’re grabbing at my goddamn dick.”

“Gonna do more than that,” you warn, mouth returning to his as you guide him into a stall.

Soon after, he hears his belt buckle being undone. He barely gets a breath out before you’re on your knees, his underwear drawn to his thighs.

His hand finds your hair, frazzled, not sure if he’s trying to stop things progressing. “This is,” —his other arm flies to the divider as you stroke him— “so unhygienic.”

You look up at him as you taste the underside of his cock. His teeth gnaw at his bottom lip and his hips uncontrollably jolt forward, your wet mouth welcoming him just the slightest bit.

“Don’t worry,” you say between teasing licks. “I’ll wash my hands after.”

Texting me, told you come have sex with me

JAY: Wanna come over?

YOU: is this a booty call?

JAY: No.

The ellipses come and go for over a minute. It makes you think that you’ve said the wrong thing and he’s about to rescind the offer.

But then his next reply arrives.

JAY: If you want?

Although there’s a few stolen kisses between you, that’s all it is. You’re wrapped up in each other as you watch movies. Jason chooses shitty ones to learn how not to tell a story, and the fact that his running commentary makes you laugh is just a bonus. Really.

The ridiculousness of Piranha 3DD rolls into its ending, and you’re almost disappointed because it brought out the extra silly side of him.

“Next you’re gonna make us watch cheesy Bat-pornos,” you mutter from where you’re huddled in his arms.

“Huh,” he says, chin nudging you. “I’ll have to look into that.”

You can’t stop the laugh that escapes. “Weirdo.”

He shifts to look at you, though his arm remains snug around your shoulders. “We can judge their costumes for accuracy,” he says, the corner of his mouth lifting. “If they’re broody enough.”

“We’re not doing that, Jason.”

“If that red hooded one has a real sharp, sexy jawline—”

“No!” you laugh, swatting at him.

Grinning, he leans forward to kiss you, although it proves to be a battle since you fight him off. He pauses to tease, “Right, you don’t need all that when you have the real thing, huh?”

“Shut up,” you say, finally granting him your lips.

In contrast to his words, the kiss is sweet and playful as his fingers curl around your face. You fall into his hold with a sigh. His lips slide over yours, deepening things, and the butteriness of his tongue is oddly delicious.

When you retreat to breathe, his nose knocks yours cutely. You blink, seeing him already staring at you, his ocean eyes bright from the television. “Wanna stay the night?” he asks, his voice quiet.

You want to nod, but, “Is that okay?” comes first.

“Yeah, ‘course.” His eyes drift sideways before coming back to you, honesty bleeding from them. “Like it when you do.” It’s a treat to have his sheets smell like you.

Sheepishly, your arms slink around his neck, though you remain wordless.

He ducks closer, his brows raised. “Nothing?” he says incredulously.

You shrug, aiming for nonchalant, though you can barely meet his gaze. “Who doesn’t like a hot piece like you being sweet on them?”

Jason snorts. “Objectifying and using me for compliments,” he tuts. “That’s rough.”

You smile impishly. “I don’t see you complaining.” You glance at the TV and say, “Besides, don’t think you have a leg to stand on about objectification after your watch list.”

His lips purse as he silently concedes. You peck him as a reward.

“I think I’d rate it an eight. Maybe a nine,” you hum while his eyes are still on you.

“What?” he replies, lost, wondering if you’re referring to the movie.

“The red one’s jawline.”

Understanding visibly clicks on his features.

“Get out of my house!” he bristles, causing you to laugh. And then he’s launching himself at your giggling form and squashing you under his weight, all while he tries not to laugh, too.

You’d fallen asleep under Jason as he forced you to watch something else, so it’s jarring to wake up in his bed, his body coiled around yours. He holds you flush to his skin, hands blanketing your bare skin like you’re precious cargo, and his rhythmic breaths fill your ear and tickle the little hairs there.

When your fingers trail his arm, he shifts with a sigh. “Why’re you allowed to wake me up, but I can’t wake you?” he asks in a gruff tone. “You’re a raging hypocrite.”

You smile. Slowly, you roll over, and Jason groans petulantly as his hand is forced off your bust. “Was comfortable there,” he grumbles, eyes still closed.

“Wanted to see your pretty face,” you murmur.

An eye squints open. “Yeah, I’m a real peach right now,” he says.

You bite back a laugh. “I think so,” you agree, hand cupping his cheek. He makes another noise, but he relaxes into it, eyes slipping shut once more. He shuffles closer, lodging his nose in the crook of your neck, and you feel him drift off.

When he awakes later, he’s chirpier.

“Morning,” he says as he messes with his hair. The curls are sexily unruly, matching his soft, early morning features.

You drink him in unabashedly. “It’d be a better morning if you made me come.”

Jason pauses, eyes moving to yours. His mouth twitches. His tone is unaffected, if not borderline clinical as he asks, “And how, pray tell, would you prefer that happen?”

You hum. “With your head between my legs.”

“Well,” he says, “wouldn’t want you to visit the complaint box again.”

This time, you smile. “Oof. Now I’m blackmailing a rich kid for sex.”

Jason pushes you back into the pillows and leans over you, his hands wandering low in search of your underwear. “Somehow,” he says, voice husky, slipping the fabric down your thighs, “I don’t think he minds too much.”

Luckily, you forever stuck with me Trust in me, can’t believe you fuck with me

You haven’t seen Jason in a while on account of his vigilantism taking him to whatever-fucking-planet-it-was-this-time, so you’re taken aback when you find him on your doorstep.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Jason,” you say, shocked. “You’re back.”

“I’m back,” he echoes.

Hastily, you pull him and his bag into the apartment. It’s almost graceful as you move together; you close the door, he dumps his bag, and then he’s hugging you tightly.

“Missed you,” he says into your throat.

You let out a breathless laugh and lean back to take him in. You touch the side of his face, hand sliding up to his hair. He’s covered in a layer of something oily, flecks of blood left behind that he hasn’t been able to scrub off.

Still, you’re happy to see him, even in a less than ideal state. “You came straight here,” you say, not quite a question.

“Yeah. Like I said,” —the edge of his mouth twists into a smirk— “missed you.”

You counter the affection with, “You need to shower.”

His smile grows. “Was hoping you could help me with that.”

Your eyes drag down his body before returning to his face. You try not to smile, especially as he ducks to finally kiss you.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Once doesn’t prove to be enough.

Jason has you almost flat against the bed, only a pillow tucked beneath your stomach as he drives his hips into your ass. He holds your waist, watches as your core grips and sucks him back in.

The sounds you make with each of his thrusts has him moaning, knuckles going white from strain.

Relenting, he lays overtop of you, an arm wrapped around your chest as he grips your tits. You arch into him, your hips bucking against his to help. He favours positions like this because they have the most skin-to-skin contact. And there’s something about touching you that just has him losing his fucking mind.

“Fuck,” he groans into your ear. “Fuckin’ missed how good you take me.”

“Jay,” you say his name so breathlessly that he almost finishes right then and there.

His strokes stutter and more tumbles out of his mouth: “My fist is goddamn useless now. Can’t get off if I’m not with you.”

His words fill your veins with heat, and distantly, you wonder if this is leading to a bigger, astronomical, romantic confession.

“You’ve ruined me, you know that?” he whispers against your shoulder, struggling to think clearly as his stomach coils, ready to burst with pleasure. “Fuck, and I don’t even care because—”

“Because?” you choke out as he hits a particularly wonderful spot inside you that has you clutching the sheets.

“It’s you,” he says, but you don’t get a chance to pry anymore as he curses, groans, arms shaking by your head. “Shit, sweetheart, can’t last much longer,” he whines.

“It’s okay,” you say. You don’t allow him to slow as you move your hips, encouraging him. “It’s okay, Jaybird. Come for me.”

You’re fucking grocery shopping together.

It makes you sick as you stand there in the aisle, looking over different grains like you’re making a meal plan for the week.

Your insides are all twisted up, lodged amongst themselves, feelings running amok. And worst of all, you started this—you made this mess yourself.

Jason’s talking through some recipe to get your opinion on it, but your hearing’s all muffled and something terrifying thunders above it.

IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.

I want this life with you.

I love you, snarkiness and all, Jason Todd.

“So?” he prompts.

“That one,” you say, not knowing what you’ve agreed to. It doesn’t matter when a category five hurricane rages inside your body.

Somehow, he still lures you into bed for another romp. You bounce in his lap, savouring all his intense looks and groans and touches, not wanting it to end.

But it has to. Because the switch flips and you sink into nausea again.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Jason pauses. His arms bracket your waist like he means to steady you, unsuspecting. “You good? Got a cramp?”

You shakily say, “No. This. I can’t do this with you again.”

“Oh,” he says the single syllable in a dismayed tone. “Why, uh… why not?”

You slide off him then, into the mattress. You don’t hide your body from him—it’s far too late for that anyway, but you also feel… comfortable like this, to your detriment.

You cover your face with your hands and groan pitifully.

“Hey,” Jason says softly, removing them from your face. “Tell me what’s going on.” He strokes your skin which only makes you grimace more.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m scared.”

Jason’s brows knit. “Of me?” he asks tentatively. “M’not gonna be upset with you over this, sweetheart. Promise.”

“No, not you,” you amend, fretful. “Just… I… my feelings,” you finally muster.

His heart picks up at that. His knuckles continue to graze your cheekbones as he hums, wanting to coax more from you. His lips twitch as a small smile forms.

When you try to bury your face in the pillow, he guides your jaw back. “C’mon,” he says gently. “Explain what’s happening in that pretty head of yours.”

You sigh out his name.

“Yeah?” he urges.

“I… I think I’m falling in love with you—at the very least I like you so stupidly much—so this arrangement won’t work anymore—”

He interrupts your rambling, a bigger smile on his face. “Can I tell you a secret?”

It catches you off guard. “Okay…?”

“That’s music to my ears since I’ve loved you for a while now.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I love you.”

You flounder. “But… you didn’t say anything…?”

“I know, but you kissed me, so I kinda figured… something was there?” Jason offers with a wince.

You try not to frown. “Would you have said anything if I hadn’t?”

“Dunno…” he admits bashfully. “But I can’t keep away from you, so it would’ve come out, even if it took me another two years.”

Regretfully, it makes you laugh. “You coward.”

He shoots you a wry smile. “Old news. Ancient news, babe.”

Jason lays down beside you, turning on his side to watch you. You watch him, too, eyes skirting across his face.

Tentatively, you say, “So, we’re in love?”

He purses his lips jokingly. “Looks that way.”

“Are we…” You blink, then glance at him again. “Together?”

“That cool?” he asks, voice soft, his own insecurity rearing its ugly head.

You exhale, mostly out of relief, and then raw with honesty, offer, “I don’t think I can let you go now that you’ve told me.”

Jason’s crooked smile makes a blessed appearance as he cups your cheek. “Good, ‘cause I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.”

December hit, tell me you remember it Brought you to my family and my mama said it’s definite

[saveme-storybrooke-potc]

Why I don't like "Wednesday" the new Netflix series

Now, I was really hoping to not have anything negative to say about the new Wednesday series because I absolutely love The Addams Family and I love Tim Burton (bonus points if the music is by Danny Elfman which 98% of the time it is) but there were many problems I had with the series and I'm just going to talk about why.

1: They ruined Wednesday's relationship with her mother

I don't know about in the comics but in the original show, and the two movies (we do NOT count the abomination of those animated movies that came out recently) but Wednesday was always close with her mother, they complimented each other, and she looked up to Morticia and wanted to be like her. BUT FOR SOME REASON in the show Wednesday all of a sudden, hates (or at least it's shown that way) Morticia and says things like "I am nothing like you" "I don't want to be like you" even down to not having a romantic side like her mother using the same nicknames (like in the movie with the nerd) and I get that she's a teenager, but like that was a big part of her character imo.

2: The parents are godawfully annoying

They probably did this for the very reason that the show is called Wednesday and it's probably trying to get us to see through Wednesday's p.o.v so she'd find them annoying but like, their love being so sweet and genuine was one of the best parts in the show that was more for the older kids and adults to enjoy, and Wednesday ONLY SHOWED THAT IN THEIR FLASHBACK.

3: The show took away what The Addams were all about

The Addams were like outcasts to the "Normies" as the show likes to call them. And having Wednesday go to a school where she "fits in" because she really wasn't and outcast to the outcasts no matter what the show tries to trick you, but if she went to a "Normies" school instead of being expelled like in the first episode she could have been the Wednesday that the real Addams Family fans know and love.

4: The didn't even add one of the best characters from the movies

Joel (if I am getting that right) was such a cute addition to the movie, the dynamic that he had with Wednesday because they were such opposites were the highlights to the movie. He was a nerdy kid that liked to be alone, and she just liked to be alone. But I was pretty disappointed that they didn't choose to add him in and instead had the Coffee shop boy and Painter as love interests (I'm not going to include Wolfgirl since she isn't cannon to liking Wednesday, and she's too fucking annoying for me to handle)

5: Our classic Wednesday & Pugsley duo

I mean like how could you separate these two? and IK that Wolfgirl could be a (possible) substitute for the absence of Pugsley, but it is very disappointing to not see the duo back at it creeping out other kids and even plotting things against their friends/family but that was definitely a lose

6: They really shouldn't have had Wednesday go to a Walmart version of Monster High

One of the things that made The Addams Family THE ADDAMS FAMILY was the fact that they were just a family, like others but they were just different. Which is why the lyrics were

"They're creepy and they're kooky Mysterious and spooky They're all together ooky The Addams family

Their house is a museum When people come to see 'em They really are a screaming The Addams family"

And I KNOW that this is just a different adaptation but how can you call it The Addams Family when you basically have her like EVERY OTHER CHARACTER SHE INTERACTS WITH. it just ruined that part, and she should have never been expelled for that piranha incident.

7: I'm not completely on board with the supernatural aspects

Actually, for this one I'm not really talking about her visions (don't get me wrong that whole aspect was definitely weird at first but I'm talking about Wolfgirl, Siren, Duce, Telekinesis boy, and maybe even painter boy (who I'm pretty sure is just like the nerd but anyways). Because The Addams WEREN'T ABOUT THAT they were about creeping other people out and I get that they had other friends like cousin IT and the kid WHAT but those were just tiny aspects, and they were rarely part of the movies and mostly there for parties. It just makes no sense for there to be a bunch of outcasts for THE ADDAMS FAMILY

Aside from those major things the more problems I have are with the other characters that she interacts with, mostly Wolfgirl that one really annoyed me Siren was more of a disagreement Wednesday had at the beginning but then got along with afterwards and she was pretty interesting.

I didn't entirely like the whole Monster Killer reveal, and how predictable it was or that whole grooming scenario but that whole storyline was more for the plot than anything.

but there are things I did like about the show:

Walmart Duce and Wolfgirls relationship (weather romance or not the puppy love is cute)

I like when they make Wednesday, Wednesday like how she enjoys digging up graves, or doesn't cry, or show affection

I did like the Coffee Shop kid and honestly, I think he needs help from Wednesday. He was after all groomed by that teacher (when I tell you I gaged watched that scene, I mean it) and she did use his mother against him and controlled him until he gave in which is really sad and I want Wednesday to help him

I did like painterboy too, he became pretty stiff afterwards but if they give him more development that'll be nice to see him interact with Wednesday (she seems to care for him at some extent to jump infront of the arrow for him)

I like Siren girl and the Mayors son, I want to see more interactions from them

THAT MORTICIA AND GOMEZ FLASHBACK IS EVERYTHING TO ME IK THAT WHOLE STORY WAS SO FREAKING PREDICTABLE BUT DAMN THE FACT THAT HE GOT ARRESTED FOR HER MADE MY HEART SKIP A BEAT

I did like the sheriff, IK he was an asshole to the Addams at first, but I liked when they finally made amends

Coffee shop kid and Wednesday's first date was pretty cute, but it would be 1000000000000x better with summercamp nerd

[pinksirensong]

THE ADDAMS FAMILY (FINALE)

Y/N was indeed very familiar with hospitals, but more often than not she was usually the one who put people there and not the contrary. It was strange being surrounded by nurses and a doctor fussing over her injure.

- Are you in any pain? – the doctor asked.

- Is it an unbearable one? – she heard Wednesday’s voice.

- Yes, to both. Very enjoyable. – her head turned in the direction of the doctor. - You can tighten it more. – his eyes shinned in recognition.

- I know you! You are Y/N Addams!

- Yes, and you are John Myer. – he did tighten her bandage, way more than necessary and it made her groan a little of pleasure from the pain that it caused. The doctor, John, now shifted his attention to Morpheus, who was at her side since they got there.

- This pest would put me and my friends here all the time. I shouldn’t even be helping this nightmare.

- I was always fond of this particular nickname. Nightmare. How fitting. – Y/N ignored the fact that the man mas clearly trying to make her beloved leave her, like all those nasty things would surprise him. Although he did indeed look surprised to know this piece of information.

- Nightmare? – she knew that Dream’s question wasn’t anything bad, but for the man it was a way for him to try harder to ruin the life of the person he hated very much since his childhood.

- That’s what we called her. She was a nightmare to us, still is it seems. Once she threw piranhas at the school pool and it ate our flesh.

- Barely, they were well feed and don’t eat just anything. It was merely a scare, but you and your friends were never good at learning the lesson, if I remember correctly. – one more tug, like the pain wasn’t something she enjoyed since forever. How silly of that man, thinking that he knew her and worst, that he knew her Dream.

- You were the kid crying at the ambulance? – now it was her father, Gomez, who approached them. – Oh, Morticia, cara mia, I told you I knew that face. He is the boy who was covered in blood but not a single scratch.

- Wuss. – Wednesday whispered, but not low enough.

- Excuse me. – John stood up and faced the Addams family. – There is not a single person in this town who likes this fucking nightmare, she’s the story we tell children, so they behave. You’re all freaks, it’s no wonder how she became this way. – Y/N could feel how irritated Morpheus was yet seeing her family and herself not caring about a word that man said made him calm down enough to not do something right now, but yet she was sure John would never have a good night of sleep ever again. Perhaps she would now really be a real nightmare and haunt his dreams every night.

- I also put fake blood at the piping. A lot of people went home covered in red. What a delight it was. - she came down from the bed she was sitting and linked her arm with Dream’s.

- My little nightmare always made us so proud. – Gomez said smiling, just like his wife. Knowing that he couldn’t achieve what he wanted, the doctor said she was good to know and left. After Morpheus insisted on taking her home, to the Dreaming, she bid farewell to her family and promised to come back soon to see how they were and forbade Wednesday of using her crossbow inside the house again. Now they were back at their home, specifically at their shared bedroom for he insisted that she should rest more. They stood in silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence.

- So…little nightmare? – he was the one who spoke first, the king was laying with her on the bed, they were facing each other, and his hand was caressing her face.

- Yes, there are many stories of how this nickname came not only to exist but also to stick ever since then. Does it change anything for you, what you learned today? – deep down it worried her, because he was not only the king of dreams but also the personification of hope and she loved every part of him, the good and the bad. Y/N wished he loved every part of her too. – We are a very protective family, we love deeply too. I would die for you, my dream, but I would also burn the world down for you too. I can not change the intensity of my love nor would I if given the chance. I am an Addams and that shall never change. So, I must ask you, for the first and last time, if you want me as I am or if we should follow different paths from now on?

- My love, do you truly believe I would be foolish to let you go? I love you with such intensity that even thinking about being apart from you hurts not only me but the Dreaming. – she smiled at his words, he always knew what to say and when to say. – And I always certain you would be a wonderful Queen of Nightmares. – Morpheus closed the space between them and kissed her. – My queen.

- The King of Dreams and the Queen of Nightmares, it seems that we complete each other. – it was like no matter how close they were it was never enough, her hands were now tangled in his hair and his were pulling her closer by her hips. – For as long as you want me I am yours, Dream of the Endless. – she brushed her lips with his not kissing but still close to feel his breathing.

- Until the day I cease to exist I shall want and love you and until that day I am yours as much as you are mine. – it was a promise of not only an endless life with him by his side, but to also rule his realm one day with him and share every part of their lives. It was a promise of eternal love, something that not even death could take from them. It was a promise of tomorrow, the day after that and all the others to face the good and the bad. Together they could face anything, and Morpheus showed her all night how much meant it. A wedding, a coronation and an extension of the family would soon come, but all in due time.

.

.

.

a/n: aaaaand it's over, it was short but also so fun to write! Thank you all who enjoyed it! From now on I'm taking requests for bonus chapters of this story (although there are already some thoughts in my head kkkkk).

.

tag list: @asexualaromosafezone @jesllianaquilesrolon @andieperrie18 @pearlstiare

[hellraisered]

sanguisuge. — the lost boys (1987) [ao3 link]

In retrospect, it was no different than any of the other pay-to-play games that littered the boardwalk. Michael thinks he knew that going in; it was why he gave chase to begin with. How was he expected to resist the tease in his eyes? The silent "come get me", accompanied by the taunt of a revving engine proved irresistible. Michael consciously believed that he tagged along because of Star's allure, but behind a thick wall of denial, he was keenly aware of the fact that his desire to pursue was born from someone else's magnetism entirely.

"Drink some of this, Michael."

And although he wasn't sure if he liked the way his name sounded on David's lips, he was certainly staring at them, wrapped around the mouth of the bottle. He wouldn't lose whatever game they were playing; not now, when he's made it this far. When he tilts the bottle into his mouth, it's an attempted display of dominance, but all he could really notice, as strange-tasting wine careened down his throat, was how David was looking at him — like a predator surveying its next kill.

—

Michael isn't sure why he followed the odd clique here. Maybe it was because he hadn't finished proving his point. Maybe it was because he just liked the attention, and feeling like part of a group again. He sort of missed belonging somewhere, but wasn't really sure if these were the sort of people he could ever belong with. If anything, they were captivating in the way that sharks in the aquarium were; something meant to be observed and admired from behind the safety of two feet of solid glass. Walking next to them, talking with them - it made him feel like he was a raw piece of meat, surrounded by piranhas, eager for a bite.

"Something bothering you?"

David's voice wrenches him from his own thoughts, thrusting him back into the present. He can smell a campfire nearby, and can hear a party going on in the distance.

Michael shakes his head. "Nothing in particular."

"You sure? You look like you've got a lot on your mind." It was obvious by the tone of his voice, that the statement came from no real place of concern.

Michael narrows his eyes, applying more punctuation to his tone, and he can still taste that weird damn wine in his mouth. "I'm fine."

"Is that right?" David said, with a small tweak of an eyebrow. The perceived leader of the outcast flock turns to his companions and cocks his head in the direction of the festivities. "Go on ahead. I want to catch up with our new friend here."

The others seem to obey the request with no issue, but not without shooting Michael crooked smiles and less than honest looks as they disappeared over the next hill.

It was just the two of them, now.

"Do you have a problem with me?" Michael asked, figuring that it was smart to strike first and establish that he wasn’t a doormat to be walked on. His tone was measured, toeing the line of irritation, but not having yet crossed it.

"A problem? With you? Why, Michael, what ever would make you think that?" The mocking pseudo-innocence that laced his words did nothing to lessen the tension in the air. Still teasing. Still insufferable.

Michael walks forward a couple of steps, shrinking the distance between them with the intent to intimidate.

"Just a feeling."

"A feeling, huh? You got a lot of those?" David mirrors him, stepping closer in kind.

"Once in a while." Michael shoves the other man's shoulder with purpose and reasonable force, enough to knock him back a step. Something flares in David’s eyes.

Before he could blink, Michael felt his back collide with the trunk of a tree, and he was suddenly very thankful for the cushioning of a leather jacket. David presses a palm firmly into his shoulder, and he can feel his breath on his face. Michael tries to move, but can't even squirm, both unnerved and impressed by this display of immense strength.

"Careful with those feelings, Michael," The threatening amusement in David's voice was thick and puerile. "They might end up getting you stuck somewhere you can't leave."

"Like here?" It was all Michael could think of to respond, any witty responses or retorts knocked out of him, along with the rest of the wind in his body, upon collision with the bark. He panted, looking at David in the eyes, waiting for him to yield, his own gaze flickering down to his mouth, which was so very close to his.

David doesn't move.

Michael doesn't move.

Michael is promptly aware of a bruising pressure against his lips.

David, in no way, felt or tasted like home. Home was cooked meals, the comforting warmth of a hug, the smell of clean linens and beers snuck from the fridge at two in the morning. This was something entirely foreign, just like the rest of Santa Carla. Michael, dizzy from the kiss that felt more like a punch to the mouth, presses back against the unfamiliarity, all sharp teeth and authority, struggling to keep up. David relents, pulling away only a couple of centimeters from Michael's face. His eyes are lidded, and there's a smug grin on his face. There's blood on his lip, and Michael isn't sure whose it is. He should stop here, he thinks - surely he didn't want him, not like this — and Michael pauses, no longer oblivious to the heat in his face and frantic thrumming of his heart, almost itching to burst out of his chest.

"Is that the best you've got, Michael?"

His head spins at the way he said his name, shoulders rising and falling as he caught his breath.

He did want David.

He wanted David badly .

Michael closes the gap between them, one hand reaching up to grasp as much hair as his palm could hold, the other settling into an iron grip on his cheek, desperate and hungry, but not for food. He feels a hand squeeze at his hip, another at the base of his neck, thumb moving stray strands of hair out of the way, exposing the sweet patch of vulnerable skin.

The two of them separate once more, and Michael is dizzy. David is looking at him contentedly, not as affected as Michael in the slightest. Had he not been like this, knees weak, lips slick with spit, slightly red and swollen, he would have been jealous of David's self-assuredness and seemingly limitless confidence. Michael could hardly think, drunk on physical contact, and barely registers David advancing towards his throat, closing his eyes and allowing him easier access once he felt lips on his neck, colors blurring and swirling together shortly after.

—

It was too bright.

Those were Michael's first thoughts as he rose from slumber, tired, annoyed, and overcome with a want for thicker curtains immediately. His second thought, however, was very rudely interrupted by the brutal throbbing in his skull, followed by an awfully dry mouth.

"Shit."

All too familiar with hangovers, Michael begins trudging his way down to the kitchen for a glass of water and something to eat. Christ, he was starving.

On his way there, his reflection catches his attention — for a number of reasons.

It was translucent, as if he was nothing more than a figment of someone's imagination, which was already alarming enough.

That, and there was blood on his mouth.

It was smudged across his lips, dried, and trailed down his jaw, below and behind his ear. Very quickly shaking off the dense haze of sleep, Michael wipes at his mouth with an index, slowly following the blood trail with his fingers, moving hair out of the way with his knuckles.

There, at the end of the smeared, dark red trail, sat two small, clotted holes, perfectly parallel to each other.

[wh6res]

three's a crowd | nomin

synopsis. picking favorites is impossible when you like neither of them.

warning. read at your own risk. abuse, bullying, poly relationship, yandere themes, manipulation, nonconsensual touching, noncon, degradation, smut threesome oop

disclaimer. i do not condone whatever tf i wrote in this nor does it reflect my beliefs or values or morals and such. it is all pure fiction and i also dont think jaemin or jeno would act like this in real life.

note. this was meant to be a new year's gift lmao i obviously got a lil carried away 👀 anyway a late happy new year to you all! we survived 2020, let's start living in 2021, yeah? lmao if covid lets us grr mwah!

the relationship you had with the two of them was a weird one, bordering on taboo, but it wasn't as if you willfully chose to be who they wanted you to be and it took jaemin's unwanted pining and jeno's intimidating demeanor for you to fall right into their arms.

it was a joint effort on their part, you couldn't've possibly stood a chance.

"this many?" the cashier asked. "are you sure?"

stepping back and studying the whole situation, you figured you only had your addiction to caffeine and procrastination to blame. it was a chain reaction you didn't even know will lead up to your inevitable doom.

if you hadn't been slacking off during your first semester of junior year college, you wouldn't be forced to overwork yourself trying to catch up to the looming deadlines, but to be able to 'work yourself to the bone' you need your boost of energy… and that was when you met one of them.

"uhm," you scratch the back of your head sheepishly as you eye the six glass bottles of iced coffee. sure, it looks bad and you kinda appreciate the look of concern the cashier throws your way but it was none of his business.

"yes. now could you, like, you know… hurry up? i'm in a little bit of a time crunch right now."

screw it. although you hardly snap like that with other people on a daily basis, it'll be a whole different conversation if you were under a significant amount of stress and today, unfortunately, is one of those days.

now can he just fucking stop asking questions and give you your six bottles of death drink to keep your fucking brain going so you can pass an eight-page essay tomorrow? thank you very much!

the guy snickered, the beeping sound of a barcode being read sounding a thousand times more annoying than it usually sounds as he keeps his hand busy by punching your items out.

you fail to notice how he studies you through the gaps of his lashes, finding you interesting rather than threatening as you stood before him with your messy hair and oversized hoodie.

"haven't seen you around university grounds 'till today," he tries striking another conversation with you. "you new? i'm jaemin."

this was your first mistake, you shouldn't have been so… downright rude when you met him. if you were granted the miracle of meeting him a 2nd time, you would've acted more nice, throwing yourself at his feet even to blend in with the rest of his fangirls you didn't even know about at the time. you would've done anything to make sure he never gives you a second glance, to never pique his interest.

jaemin is the pep squad captain. flying over colored blue mats and doing tumblings in the air with no ounce of fear. he was the best in his team, that much was evident when your friend dragged you into watching a pep rally practice. his landings were clean, balanced, and executed to the best he can at all times.

no wonder he was popular, his talent is outstanding and his looks are a bonus. his killer combo of a smile and wink after pulling off a tough flip is enough to send them squealing in their seats.

he spotted you that day and since then, he snuck the quickest glances at the bench during practices. recognizing you as the coffee girl he met during his convenience store shift. jaemin tries not to let his disappointment show too much when he doesn't see you, but of course, a pair of cold calculating eyes could see right through him.

"i saw that," his boyfriend said, hand darting forward to hold jaemin's gym bag for him. "you kept looking at the crowd. do you want to see her that much?"

"but she reminds me so much of you, jeno!" he retorts, pouting at the slight grumpy tone the other boy used. "i can't help it. she doesn't seem to give a fuck around me so she's quite interesting. maybe she can even be a great addition to our relationship!"

"well," jeno replies after a beat of silence, plastering a small smirk on his face before slinging an arm around jaemin's shoulder.

"convince me?"

you don't like jaemin's attention. not in the slightest. and it seems that was enough reason for the reign of terror his little fanclub has subjected you too.

it wasn't the petty elementary forms of bullying like pulling at your hair or calling you names. they pale in comparison to the other things they do to you—beating you up, messing with your homework, "accidentally" dumping their food trays on you.

and you weren't stupid.

you knew exactly who was behind it, knew how jaemin spectates the whole thing from afar so that he can swoop in at the end to play your knight in shining armor.

"oh, you poor thing. do you need help?"

the first time you accepted his "help" you ended up in a supply closet near the gym during your free period, cornered and weak as your cries for help drowns under the squeaking of shoes and the booming sounds of rubber balls hitting the floor.

if it weren't for jeno appearing out of thin air and prying the boy off of you, you would've been painted blue and red from the death grip he had on your wrist, neck, and waist.

you can still remember feeling the soreness of your scalp from when he pulled your hair too hard. remembered feeling his teeth gnawing at your lips as if he wanted to tear them off.

that time hadn't been the first time you saw jeno. you've shared a few classes with him and it strikes you how polar opposites they are with one another.

while jaemin likes to bask in his professor and classmates' recognition by confidently reciting his answers, jeno would rather keep to himself. liked sitting at the last row, near the window, so he'd be the first to go once the professor ends their lecture. while jaemin loved the attention of his fangirls, jeno preferred solitude. while jaemin is impulsive and wild, jeno liked to think things through.

it was within these reasons that you decided to do what you did. but your judgement of character has never been more wrong.

you approached jeno one day in the library, tried to make yourself appear as stoic and confident as possible. but your constant slouching and averting eyes was a dead giveaway.

you came to talk to him about what jaemin has been doing, hoping there's one person left in this entire school that isn't under the cheer captain's trance. the one reasonable person that has already saved you once and (hopefully) is willing enough to save you again. the only one that probably has a certain level of control over jaemin, if the supply closet incident is anything to go by.

but you've overestimated lee jeno.

"you should've just given jaemin what he wanted."

"but—but aren't you two lovers? isn't it bothering you?"

you try baiting him, only for an uncomfortable shiver to start crawling down your spine when he chuckled humorlessly, pushing his school materials to the side while pinning you with an unreadable stare.

how can a person make someone feel so small just by a gaze alone? it was nothing like you've felt with jaemin. this is way worse.

"the only thing that's bothering me is why you're not ours yet."

you feel cold fingers creeping their way under your shirt, going higher and higher until it brushes against your bra. and when your eyes meet, the look on his face was unmistakable—what are you going to do about it, huh?

you stood up in lightning speed, the chair you've been sitting on scraping loudly against the floor.

you've never ran out as fast as you did.

and jeno swears it'll be the last.

you tried everything in your power to ignore them for the next following weeks but it soon became useless when the two boys took it upon themselves to give you your space.

although judging by the pinpricks you feel on your back, and the constant weight of a stare you feel on your shoulders, you knew they weren't done with you yet. far from it. and for some reason, you just knew they wanted to lull you into a false sense of security first before striking again.

and while they continued to ogle at you from afar like a hawk circling its prey in a desert, you took it upon yourself to return the favor. not because you were the slightest bit interested in those creeps but maybe, just maybe, if you look hard enough you'll find a way out, a weakness.

but what you realized made your insides churn in great discomfort—although it may seem that jeno holds the reins in the relationship since his reserved nature fits the role, it's actually the other way around.

jaemin might appear too self-centered, too focused on himself to give a fuck about his surroundings but in actuality, he has quite a knack for reading people. even more so than jeno. and it was scary how he used it to his advantage, and paired up with his devoted fangirls? it was hell on earth.

you found it alarming how the two seem to magically appear wherever you are.

although you weren't in the least bit surprised. for some reason, you can't take your eyes away when jaemin's devotees flock around him (and jeno) in a circle.

it almost reminds you of a shoal of piranhas, waiting for their meal to drop into the water before ripping it to shreds with their teeth. only their "meal" isn't actual flesh but the carefully crafted words jaemin says that drive them into a sick frenzy.

one that has them doing everything in their power to satisfy him like the loyal dogs they are.

so this was how he got them to bully you?

"oh, that? don't worry! yangyang just ran into me during cheer rehearsal. no biggie. my cheek stung a little bit, though…" is what he said but really he's telling them "scruff him up a bit for me, why don't ya?"

"of course, i can't be the best all the time. haechan is just too good, maybe even better than me…" is what he said but really he's telling them "can you remind him where his place should be?"

all the while jeno did nothing to hold him back.

no matter how wrong jaemin is, how much of an asshole he is, jeno will stick by his side through and through. so as much as jaemin is a puppeteer that gets a kick for controlling people, jeno is as much at fault for looking the other way.

because in jeno's perspective, why the fuck would he do shit when he can just get off from the entertainment that comes with jaemin's sweet little mind games?

we lost :(

you had been busy sorting through paperwork for one of your professors in the faculty when your friend texted you the results of the intercollegiate cheer dance competition. a frown paints your face, heart feeling heavy at the bad news.

in all honesty, you still supported the pep squad—you just hated the captain and his boyfriend. they've been practicing non-stop for this and prior to the weeks of the competition, jeno looked a lot more tense and jaemin less smiley than usual. you swore you even saw the latter snap at one of his fangirls.

not to mention, they paid less attention to you, too, and it was the best three weeks of your life.

tension starts rising in your shoulders, fingers absentmindedly running through the edge of the papers you had been sorting until you became immersed with your thoughts.

jaemin must be in the worst mood yet.

and jeno too, probably. if anything, that guy gets triggered the most when something bad happens to jaemin or when he catches snippets of people talking shit about his oh so "perfect" boyfriend.

jeno is a lot scarier when jaemin is in one of his mood swings, you noticed. he steps up in the relationship to offer comfort to the other boy and for outsiders? it isn't a great experience to go through—being on the receiving end of jeno's ice cold stare is a position you don't want to find yourself in after that time in the library.

he is still as much a threat to your peaceful life like his lover.

you snap out of it when the blinding headlights of a vehicle seep through the closed blinds. you hear the gentle hum of an engine switching off as the headlights vanished as quick as they had appeared. that must be the cheer squad's bus.

as you look around the empty faculty room, something in your gut tells you to ditch file sorting duty for professor kim tonight and fucking get the hell out of campus grounds as quick as you can.

after haphazardly throwing the unsorted papers back into the cabinet, you groan aloud when the keys to the office drop out of your skirt’s pocket.

the indoor gym where the cheering squad practices is right across the hallway. you sure as hell don't want to bump into jaemin. or jeno, too, if he had decided to ride along the cheer squad's bus on the way home.

you kept looking for the keys underneath the cubicles, cursing aloud when you heard the telltale squeaks of shoes rubbing against linoleum. you almost hit your head against a table when you quickly got back up your feet, darting forward to shut the lights for the faculty room.

they can't know you're here. alone. and if it meant sitting in the dark for a few hours 'till they leave, meant going back home a little later than usual is what you have to do then so be it.

you try not to react so violently when the door you're leaning on jolts when someone from outside slams their back against it.

"it's not like we didn't do our best, right guys? i don't have regrets. it might sound fucking cheesy and although i'm sad myself, atleast we did what we can."

it's jaemin. his voice clear as day.

you try peaking, craning your neck up from your place on the floor. only to see the back of his head leaning against the glass section of the door. someone else joins in on the conversation, followed by coach park himself, and you slowly tune out whatever they're saying as you stealthily start scanning the faculty room.

you curse under your breath. is there no other exit other than this door? jesus christ! even classrooms in this university had two doors—

"what are you doing here?"

the switch flickers on, basking the once dark room with light. only when you hear an echo of your name being called, did you snap out of it and quickly picked yourself up from the floor.

"i said, what are you doing here?"

their coach asks, drilling the question as he looks at you skeptically with his arms crossed. you try not to look at the people behind him.

particularly, not at his cheer captain standing on his right.

particularly, not at jeno, who stands out like a sore thumb with his blue hair, a protective arm snaked around jaemin’s shoulders.

this isn't your lucky day, too, you guess.

"i was…" you cursed yourself for stuttering. "i was, uhm, i was file sorting for prof—professor kim, sir."

coach park looked like he didn't believe you as he narrowed his eyes in scrutiny. your nerves are going haywire and you can feel the sharp pins of their stare with how close they are.

you kept juggling your weight with the balls of your feet, hands fisting and unfisting behind your back. you want to leave. you have to leave.

"file sorting… in the dark?" he asked incredulously.

fuck this.

"uhm, you can ask professor kim himself tomorrow, coach. for now, uh, i'll be going now. i'm sorry you guys lost…"

originally, the exit is on the right side, at the end of the hallway. but no, you are not going to pass by those two while on your way out so you ducked behind a random student standing on the coach's left instead and practically ran away from the scene.

everyone had been too busy. too busy looking at your retreating form to even notice jaemin and jeno exchanging glances, too busy to notice the latter untangling himself from their captain to slip away unnoticed, his hurried steps filled with a burning purpose.

you didn't know why you ran, but you did. your shoes practically booming against the floor as you sped away through darkened hallways. you're sweating profusely, heart hammering in your chest. you can worry about professor kim tomorrow but right now you just had to—

"why are you in such a rush, pet?"

crashing into jeno felt like crashing into a wall. if it hadn't been for his arm quickly wrapping around your waist, then you would've landed on your butt before him.

with the small distance between the two of you, jeno could see as clear as day through your eyes.

jaemin was right.

it was addicting to stare into them.

especially when he can see every single one of your thoughts flying through your pretty little head. but hey, it wasn't their fault you were so easy to read.

jeno barely conceals the wicked smirk on his lips when your hands come up to his chest, trying to push him away but to no avail.

he can see your eyes shifting from shock, to confusion, until it finally settles on fear—to which it's slowly becoming a favorite emotion of his to see on your face.

"you know, jaemin is in a really shitty mood right now. and we were wondering, maybe you can cheer us up?"

no. this can't be happening.

"jeno, please." your dilated eyes and disheveled hair made his blood run south. "let me go. you don't want me. you don't need a third party in your relationship."

you yelp when he lets you go, literally shoving you against a wall—which you found out is actually a door, as it swings open as soon as your body crashes against it.

with jeno looming unforgivingly before you in his full height, the tears stung extra hard but you won't let them fall.

if he wanted to bask in the image of your weakness then it'll be something you'll deprive from him for as long as you can.

"i don't need a stupid bitch like you to tell me what i feel." he scoffs. "don't fucking kid yourself, you little whore—i don't want you. i'm not jaemin."

the echo of the classroom door shutting closed surged through you like a wake up call.

this is really happening.

you've always led a decent life, had done nothing too questionable and you've always thought maybe life will spare you if you lived quietly enough. but the feel of jeno's freezing hands crawling against your skin felt like life itself had spat at you in the eye and left you to rot in a ditch.

"i've always liked how you wore skirts," he comments. playing with the ruffled hem of the soft fabric as he purposely grazed his knuckles against your supple thighs. "gives me easy access, don't you agree?"

you scream when he flips your skirt up to reveal the innocent pink of your cotton panties. it was as if a switch had flipped inside of you and the will to fight started coursing through your veins.

"stop! jeno! i don't want this!"

his brows furrow, grunting as he struggles to push the waistline of your skirt up higher with how much you're thrashing underneath him. you buck your hips, tried curling in on yourself, anything to prolong what he wants to do to you.

with your legs trapped underneath his, you blindly reach forward, relying on your upper body instead to push and scratch whatever your palms and nails reached.

you continue screaming like a banshee until he shoved two fingers into your wet cavern.

"stop fighting me," he sounded strained, as if he's holding himself back. you feel him fisting the fabric of your skirt and you fear he's simply going to rip it apart.

you tried responding to him, only the sound had been muffled, gurgled by the flat of his fingers pushing down against your tongue mercilessly. when you reach forward to push him away, your hands land on the apple of his cheeks, nails digging through skin.

until it slips and—

you lie rigid when red scratch marks in the size of your fingernails slowly appear on jeno's skin, his head turned to the side as he paused. your actions slowly start sinking in to him as he shuts his eyes and bit his lip 'till it looked like it was about to bleed.

oh no.

"jeno—"

the slap he planted on your cheek left your ears ringing. all those hard earned muscles of his put to good use—if the tears hadn't fallen for the last few minutes, then it definitely started falling now.

the hit had been so strong, a few of your hair flew astray, the buzzing feeling of your skin tempting you to reach a hand up to soothe your abused cheek.

until jeno let out a low growl and your hand immediately drops limp against your body, afraid of whatever else he can do to you other than a slap.

"that's more like it," he whispers under his breath. you let out the tiniest of whimpers when his hand darts forward to fist your hair. "do you know what happens to bad girls? they fucking get busted up. do you understand me?"

his patience is nonexistent.

jeno slams your head against the floor when you don't answer because you thought his question had been rhetorical. it felt like your skull had been split in two as you wail in pain.

"are you fucking deaf—i asked you a fucking question!"

the hand that cups your jaw is painful as he squeezed your cheek with his blunt nails. your hand shoots up to wrap around his wrist, silently pleading for him to let up as you sobbed out loud. you started nodding as best as you can despite his firm grip on your face.

your reply was nothing short of pathetic. with lips forcefully pursed and the steady stream of your tears and snot rolling down your face, your response is gargled and hardly incoherent and jeno seemed to thoroughly enjoy your anguish if the condescending curl on his lips is anything to go by.

"look at you," he whispers, his face coming close to yours as he holds you down. there was something in the way jeno stared so intently that it made your skin crawl.

"i think you're prettiest when ruined like this."

with his nose touching yours, he felt too close, bordering on intimate as you felt his hand creep back up your thighs, trailing up with feather-like touches that made goosebumps appear on your skin.

you tried wiggling your legs underneath him but one sharp look from jeno is enough to make you stop.

the hand holding your face moves. coming down from gripping your face to encircling his hand around your neck.

"do you like it when i touch you? freaky bitch."

his hands trail further up, up, up until you felt him slotting a finger underneath your panties.

jeno didn't like how frozen you were underneath him as he pulls at the hem before letting go. the elastic snapping back against your skin.

the action evokes a strong feeling through the young male, promising to have you writhing and screaming and begging because by the end of all this, you'll be so needy and frustrated that you will have no choice but to give in to what your body wanted.

"jeno, didn't i tell you to play nice?"

someone stands by the door, the minimal light from the hallway creating a silhouette with his form but you knew who he was. that deep voice, with the same annoying flippant tone, is a dead giveaway.

you didn't know why you even hoped in the beginning. as if there'll be someone who can save you from these two.

you thought the flash of hurt in your eyes was quick to disappear but jeno noticed it quicker.

in a span of seconds, he pulled you up from your position from the ground and tugged you towards his lap. you haven't even gotten the time to settle on your new position when he already smashed his lips against yours.

it was messy. too much saliva. too much teeth. no tenderness to it at all.

the fabric of his jeans felt rough, not to mention the ice cold belt buckle made you severely uncomfortable as it seeps through the thin fabric of your skirt.

when you attempt to hover over his lap, jeno grunts as he snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you back down without your lips breaking away from each other. you didn't know why he let out a whine, but you understood the moment you fully sat down on his lap and you felt a tent on his jeans hitting your clothed entrance perfectly.

in a normal circumstance, you would've found everything hot and might've actually gotten off from it but not when it's him who’s doing this to you and you didn’t consent to any of this.

you start squirming again. palms lying flat against jeno's chest as you attempt to push him away and jaemin sees this as the opportune moment to slot himself behind you, caging you in between them.

“i want my turn,” he hisses and without an ounce of hesitation, jeno stops to do what he's told.

jaemin doesn't waste any second to grab your face, awkwardly craning your neck up to meet his lips in the same feverish kiss.

while jeno had been all teeth and aggression, practically forcing you to open your mouth and kiss him back, jaemin on the other hand is more soft, more romantic, you daresay. he seemed to like taking his sweet time by clutching your face, kissing you like he actually meant it.

he pulls away slightly, resting his forehead against yours as he murmurs something incoherent under his breath and then he's kissing you again.

you think you heard something along the lines of, "finally."

you've been too distracted by jaemin to notice jeno's nimble fingers quickly fumbling with the buttons of your blouse. it was only when you feel the sensation of his tongue laving against the swell of your breast did you turn away from jaemin, jerking backward in surprise.

"no—!"

your scream is cut off by a hand cupping your mouth. jaemin pulls your back towards his chest, molding your body against his as jeno licked and suckled all he wanted, thankful to have the other boy there to not worry about restraining you and keeping you quiet while he has his fun.

"ah, ah, ah," jaemin teases, going hard over the pleading and teary look you sent his way. it looked pathetic, he wasn't going to lie, but it doesn't mean he didn't love it. "just keep still and appreciate jeno's efforts to take care of you, alright baby?"

you don't like how he talked as if this was all a mutual thing, how he talked slowly like you were some toddler who didn't understand anything.

it's cruel how jaemin giggled and basked in your vulnerable state as he kept his eyes pinned on you while undoing the zipper of your skirt. your muffled cries of his name only serving to egg him on.

the way he stared was similar to jeno, too intently and intrusive, like he wants to burn your image of despair in the back of his head.

you whined involuntarily when jeno got bored of all the licking and thus decided to start biting and nipping at your chest instead. he was hypnotised by how responsive you were, how every little bite and nibble made you shudder.

it was a shame that jaemin had to cover your mouth. he didn't get to hear your pretty mewls but it wasn't as if he'd let the night end without hearing them loud and clear.

jaemin is fast in undressing you, feeling slightly betrayed by how quick your skirt and blouse fell under his hands.

you know what he wants, what he's going to do, and the tears fall harder when you can't dodge away from him. forced to endure and accept whatever they give you.

"you act like you don't like it but look how fucking wet you are," you bit your lip hard when jaemin starts circling the pads of his fingers against your clit, fascinated by how more juices streamed down your thighs.

"jeno, do you see this? fuck."

you can only blink in defeat, staring off to the side as you force down any noise bubbling up your throat, forcing yourself to think of anything else other than what's happening right now.

you try not to think about how they managed to tear all of your clothes off while they're left completely dressed. tried not to think about the fingers lazily drawing up and down your slit to collect your essence.

if they're doing this as a way to further humiliate you, it's working.

"slut," jeno mocked, a wicked curl on his lips when he wraps his fingers around your throat. the moment he dives down to claim your lips again is the same time jaemin pushes two fingers inside you.

"look at how wet you are because of me," jaemin whispers hot against your ear and you feel a sick churn in your stomach when you feel his smile against your skin.

he purposely drives his fingers in and out quicker, settjng a brutal pace, wanting you to hear the lewd squelching sounds. "hear that? do you hear that, darling? that's because of me—"

"don't go talking big now, jaem," jeno retorts, pulling away from your lips to start nibbling on the back of your ear. "i was here first. did you see how she fucking reacted when i sucked on her tits?"

you're quick to catch how jeno particularly loved degrading you. but how he talks about you as if you're literally not in front of him naked made you hit a new all-time low.

you felt… filthy.

his hands find purchase on your butt—only because jaemin has already claimed the front. for now.

you close your eyes tight when he painfully squeezes the flesh of your ass. you swear, his blunt nails will paint your skin black and blue.

"i'm the favorite!"

"i'm the favorite!"

as someone who's part of a varsity team, you already knew a competitive nature runs through jaemin's veins. but never had you thought jeno would share the same sentiment. once again they prove that they're cut from the same cloth.

all of a sudden it wasn't all about claiming you as theirs anymore rather it was all about who can make you moan the loudest, who can make you cum the most, who can make you feel the dirtiest you can be.

you're absolutely terrified for the hours to come.

thankfully, they have yet to ask for your verbal opinion or validation. they let your body do all the talking—every repressed shudder and sharp gasp is enough.

but it's game over once they pop the million dollar question.

"who do you like best?"

you don't want to find out the consequences if you actually answered their question because you didn't know what could be worse.

jaemin's manipulation or jeno's aggression?

but it was all normal. trial and error is inevitable in order to build and mold you into the ideal lover for the both of them.

because adding someone new to the mix has never been easy—after all, three's a crowd.

[starlightmeadowbloom]

Sly Cooper x Mr. Wolf Headcanon

This is my first time writing something like any heaadcanons would do, so please don’t judge me and make sure to like, reblog and comments.

No. 1 – First Meeting

1. Wander, Sly Cooper, Star Butterfly, Po, Twilight Sparkle, Rapunzel, Pirate Captain and Alice Liddell were secretly going to the royal gala in a disguise without Wander and Star’s parents’ permission since they wanted to know what it’s like but Twilight would know that like any galas would be so boring.

2. Wander and Sly Cooper were talking when Sly noticed a strange wolf was pickpocketing the guest and he doesn’t like one bit of it, so he told Wander that he needed to go somewhere and followed the wolf. He then realised that the wolf was a villain with greatest skills of stealing.

3. He kept following him without noticing until they entered the room that got red alarm beams around the Golden Dolphin. At that moment, Sly Cooper stop the wolf from any further noticed and they began talking. Sly didn't like the way that wolf is playing with charms and says that a greatest thief should know a thing or two about running the business instead they were in the family legacy. That's kinda upset Sly as he said some that really pushed wolf’s button.

4. Pirate Captain felt something isn’t right while talking to Alice Liddell and he goes to his friends just to find Sly Cooper when Wander pointed out that he went somewhere with telling him where though. Twilight Sparkle use her magic to track down Sly Cooper and the bumped into four animals who were looking for their friends, that’s when Pirate Captain can tell that they are going to be real trouble.

5. Back in the room that held the Golden Dolphin, both Sly Cooper and Wolf were having a little argument and got themselves too distracted by it when Wander and the others entered the room and they knew that somethings was not right as well. Once they got to them, Mr Snake and Wander told Mr Wolf and Sly to just leave in case something bad happened and they would regret it later.

6. But before they go to their separate ways Mr Wolf said something; ‘You can't beat this feeling of hatred for a thief that don't know how to woo a woman.’ And when Sly asked the question was that supposed to mean… Mr Wolf replied, ‘You don't care about your ex-girlfriend Carmelita anymore and that you got your little fuzzy buddy that you slept with.’ This was as if he and the others know about Wander and Sly’s relationship when they had a one-night stand! Wander notice that Sly Cooper's eyes turning red as he growled at Mr Wolf. Mr Wolf suddenly engaged that rage with black glowing eyes and growled at him too which caused the others to be noticed.

7. The rest of their friends embrace themselves for what is going to happen next until the police came but that didn’t stop Sly Cooper and Mr Wolf from fighting. While Sly Cooper was distracted by them, Mr Wolf lunged himself towards him and they have a massive brawl. It took 3 minutes and 4 seconds to break those two up by Po, Mr Shark and the police while the others looked on. And with that, the Eight Main Heroes and the Bad Guys were arrested for trespassing, violence brawl and attempted stealing.

8. The others were ending up having their own room only for a night; Wander, Sly Cooper, Mr and Mr Snake. Star Butterfly, Twilight Sparkle, Rapunzel, Alice Liddell and Miss Tarantula. And Po, Pirate Captain, Mr Shark and Mr Piranha. While the others were settles in prison, Wander and Mr Snake keeping an eye on Sly Cooper and Mr Wolf in case they’re end up fighting again.

9. The next day, they were released, and Wander decided to take the Bad Guys with them for teaching them how to be good with more deeds which Sly Cooper doesn’t like the idea but wouldn’t dare argue.

No. 2 – Enemies

1. When they’re arrived in Wild West Side-Oaks, the boys were shocked and jealous that all the girls (including Star Butterfly, Twilight Sparkle, Rapunzel and Alice Liddell) got their attentions on Mr Wolf’s charms. Pirate Captain and Pirate with the Scarf had to pull Sly Cooper away when Mr Wolf started to flirt with Carmelita Fox.

2. During lunchtime, Sly Cooper walked up to Mr Wolf and warned him to stay away from Carmelita and those two started to get heated as they talked which lead Sly to actually missed a punch when Mr Wolf dodged it and they are on the floor fighting. Tyler Moon and Joey Branning had to break them up with the help of Jack Branning and Alfie Moon.

3. Later that night, Sly Cooper and Mr Wolf were kept away from each other by their friends as Wander’s both adopted and biological dads Sheriff Steven West-King and King Wilson Star-Gaze told everyone about the unexpected gala that led into unexpected chaos. While they were talking, both Sly and Wolf glared at each other and knowing that they’re not done fighting.

4. The next day, as Mr Wolf was looking around this place, Sly Cooper walked up to him and telling that he and his company needed to leave at once or else. Mr Wolf rolled his eyes and told him them they have no choice for the sake of what Wander had in mind since he’s the royal sheriff which Sly did said ‘Just because he was born in the royal family and was raised by the country family, doesn’t mean we had to be told what to do for some reason.’ And when Mr Wolf laughed and told him about how he manged to get his best friend into bed with him when he was dating with his girlfriend at the time which those two fight again until Cain Dingle and Aaron Dingle break them up before it got worse.

5. Every time they fought, it would be about Sly and Wander’s one-night stand or the family legacy which the boys in town have to break them up while Wander and his adopted and biological families looked embarrassed.

6. Charity Dingle, who sick and tired of Sy and Wolf’s fights, had an idea. She brought those two in the garage and locked them inside, telling them to sort it out between them. Those two started to argue and they fight for the last time. After they’ve done, they started to talk finally after a week of rivalling.

No. 3 – Friends

1. They slowly started to get to know each other better, turning out that they are very similar and that they have lots in common. They managed to escapes from being trapped in the garage and when they told Wander what happened, they were surprise that Wander hugged Charity Dingle and thanking her for getting them to finally talk things out. Both of them look at each other and shrugged with a smile.

2. While the others were asleep, Sly Cooper and Mr Wolf thought they would go on an adventure in the mine that might got gold inside. They enjoy their ride on the train track after Sly taught Wolf how to slide down with their shoes. After their little adventure, Sly shared Wolf with some cookies that he got in store and they stared at the stars.

3. When Wander and the others were busy, Sly Cooper and Mr Wolf would spent time in the café and talk about their adventures and would laughed at something funny. Sometimes, Sly would be surprise when Wolf helped out with Roy Cropper and his wife Haley with some food and drinks that got Wolf’s fur fuzzed up and his tail waged sightly.

4. Sly Cooper started to find a bit cute when he saw Mr Wolf being there Catalina when she was struggling to cope with her wolf powers getting stronger. One night, when Catalina was getting upset and almost hurt Rapunzel that caused her to run away, the other split up and looked for her. Surprisingly, Mr Wolf was the first one to find her and those two talk about the wolf’s purpose in life. When she struggling to leave her treehouse and wanted Wolf to stay with her, he sang her a song that he remembered Mr Shake sang to him when he was a pup. Sly Cooper was the second to find them and saw those two dancing and laughing, staring and listening to Wolf’s singing that he didn’t even notice that the others were there to see this.

5. After that, Sly Cooper and Mr Wolf’s friendship seemed to have more adventures with car chasing, flying and rook jumping with some stealing of fun. They would have a relaxing time with their friends like going to the club to sing karaoke and going to the Devil’s casino and win some money with a little cheat on the way and they.

No. 4 – Blossom Slowly Blooming

1. One time, when Sly Cooper were about to go to bed after a long day, he saw Mr Wolf saving the kitten from being stuck in the tree. He smiled when Wolf’s tail started to wag as he climbs down with the kitten in his arms. When Wolf saw Sly watching him, they started to talk about what it feels like to be happy after helping someone in need. Wolf shyly admits that he like when his ears were scratch and Sly admit that he like when he was being hugged in the sweetest way like Wander would do. They suddenly stared at each other for the moment before Wolf went inside and Sly followed.

2. The second time when Mr Wolf find Sly Cooper nearly beaten up by Carmelita’s father Alexander-Jones and Wolf defended him until Jack Branning arrets him for assault. Wolf managed to patch up the injures that Sly had but while he was doing this Sly couldn’t stop staring at his handy-work and Wolf noticed Sly was staring at him, suddenly teased him that got both blushed and chuckled a little.

3. The third time those two went to watch a film, not knowing it was a romantic comedy one. When they started to watch the film, they were about to have popcorn when they hand suddenly touched each other which caused them to jump a little. They both looked away, blushing as they tried to enjoy the movie.

4. The fourth time where they were in the café with their friends and they accidentally bumped into each other, causing their drinks to spill all over the floor. Both were cleaning up their messed until their hands touched, their eyes suddenly meet for the first time. Wander and the other Main Heroes looked on in curious and the other Bad Guys looked with in confused. Both of them feeling a bit awkward around each other until they finally get back to their sits. Po and Pirate Captain smirked at Sly Cooper who covered his face with his hat as he felt his blush was coming, not knowing that Mr Wolf was watching him with a smile on his face.

No. 5 – First Kiss

1. During the party, Mr Wolf find Sly Cooper in the back garden of the pub and asked him if he’s okay. They began to have this talk about the lost of the parents and everything they once had before this. They would tell each other about their fears and help each other to fight those problems when they were trying to protect their other friends. They also talked about how they managed to get along with each other after their rivalling.

2. They both started to look into each other eyes with unknowing love and they secretly flirting each other without knowing as they talk about their childhood.

3. When Sly was about to head back to the party, Wolf stopped him by grabbed his hand and pulling him close. They stared at each other’s eyes again, then Wolf leaned in and kissed Sly. Sly Cooper was shock about this, but slowly kissing him back after few seconds. They enjoy their moment so much they haven’t realised that Abi Branning saw them and she left them be with a smile on her face. After both of them pulled away, they both blushed and Wolf went back to the party leaving Sly watching his tail wag slightly… not knowing his tail was too wagging.

No. 4 – Secretly Dating/Romantic Affair

1. The next day after their first kiss, they haven’t told anyone about this (but no knowing Abi Branning knew about but haven’t told anyone). They were a bit nervous of how they explained to their friends, so they keep it to themselves.

2. While everyone were asleep, they meet up in the park and they would talk about what are they going to do after their first kiss. After a while, they decided to have a relationship in secret.

3. They would secretly texting each other every morning and every night when they’re not with each other in case their friends would get suspicious like Mr Snake and Pirate Captain.

4. Their dates can be romantic when they feel strongly towards each other because the night’s beauty always give that tender feeling. They would go to the park or the beach both day and night, they would have their dinner in the café or restaurants.

5. Mr Wolf would buy red roses for Sly Cooper and Sly would steal something expensive for Wolf because he knows how much he likes them.

6. After the romantic dates, they would have pizza and watch tv together while the others were no around. Sometimes, they would read books together.

No. 5 – First Night of Passion

1. One night, Sly Cooper and Mr Wolf was having their dinner after watching a movie together. Wolf thought on something that he wouldn’t dare to think of, he asks Sly how it was feel after he slept with Wander and how it happened. Sly explained to Wolf that it was supposed to be one kiss just to get Wander to get used to the boys couple, they ended up making love at the Jade Palace.

2. After a lot of explanation about his and Wander’s one-night stand, Wolf then said Sly something that made both of them nervous. Few awkward moments later, Sly then goes towards Wolf and told him that he was everything to him after being so loveless once Carmelita Foxington dumped. Telling him that Wander and Wolf would always be his life which made Wolf feeling loved by Sly’s words.

3. After they stared at each other in the eye with pure love, they both slowly making out. As they kissing, they goes to the bedroom. Sly would be the top and Wolf would be the bottom, they slowly took off their cloths when Wolf told him that this is his first time which Sly replied to him that they would take this slowly.

4. After they made, they would be cuddling into each other’s arms before they fell asleep.

No. 5 – Comes Out

1. Few weeks of secretly relationship, both of them decided to tell everyone the truth.

2. After they told everyone about their affair, Abi Branning congrats them. The rest of the Eight Main Heroes and the Bad Guys were shock and surprise about this but they are happy that their friends show them how much they love each other.

3. Carmelita Foxington and her cousin Diane Foxington were a surprise but didn’t say anything…

No. 6 – Relationship

1. After the truth came out, both Sly Cooper and Mr Wolf love to tease each other and they enjoy flirting when no one was looking. Sometimes, Sly like to steal one of Wolf’s stuff and he would give it back in exchange for a kiss.

2. When they are in bed or the sofa, they would often cuddling in their arms and Sly would chuckled when he saw Wolf’s tail wagging.

3. They would sometimes trying to protect each other from danger and try not to argue when they would do everything to keep them and their family/friends safe, sometimes they would get hurt at the end.

4. Mr Wolf would be the one who makes breakfast for Sly Cooper first before he would do the same with the other friends.

I guess that’s all I have. I will write more when I’ve got the time and had more ideas, I hope this is what you needed to know @wariatkazpolski. Have a nice day everyone.

[emf005]

Disguised Part 1

Jack x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, blood, fights, angst

Hop you guys like! Sorry it took so long to get this out I have had one heck of a week.. lolol.. Please comment and let me know what you think!

Ten Years Earlier:

There were flames everywhere. As a seven year old you had no clue what was happening. It was hot, but it was winter. You couldn’t breathe. Your eyes burned and so did your lungs.

Your skin was alive with pain and stinging. You felt painfully numb. Was that even a feeling?

You coughed. And then coughed again, harder.

The room swam and you tripped over something, hitting the floor with full force. You stared at the door you had been searching for. There it was, finally. But out of reach. Why did it seem everything was always out of reach for you? Just too small to reach the top shelf, just too young to sit with the grown ups, just too female to do anything of importance…

Tears leaked from your eyes, and not just from physical pain.

The door opened and more smoke fled in. You heard footsteps running in and, with the last bit of energy you pushed yourself up. You saw the blurry edges of a familiar neighbor.

Charlie?

Then you passed out.

Xx

You woke up in a cot a few days later. Looking around the small room you realized that you were alone.

Where were you?

You heard voices and then footsteps. You shut your eyes tight again just as the door opened.

Someone sat down on your bed.

“I’s knows yous ain’t sleepin’.” Your eyes flew open and you looked up at Charles. A crutch leaned on the cot, but you didn’t pay mind. You jumped onto him, ignoring the pulling of your healing burns. You buried your head in his neck. He grabbed onto you and held you close, just as frightened as you, though he’d tell you he wasn’t. He was three years older than you and the brother you never had.

"What happened? Where am I? Where's mum and dad?" You asked. The questions pouring out of you. The last you saw them, they had been unconscious in the living room.

Instead of answering he just hugged you to his chest tighter…

Present day:

"Strike!" The Newsies, your unofficial brothers, screamed in response to Jack's very lengthy and moving monologue.

He leapt off the stage and started talking to Charles… Well, Crutchie now. He hadn't gone by that name since the fire happened and you two became newsies.

Nobody knew you were a girl and you preferred to keep it that way… although, A bit of extra attention from a certain Jack Kelly wouldn't be so bad. But beggars can't be choosers.

You watched as Katherin Plummer walked up to him and you felt your stomach drop. Rich, pretty, and successful. How could you beat that? Especially when he didn’t know you were a girl and he didn’t know your feelings.You sighed and walked to meet up with them, tasseling Race’s hair as you walked by him. He shoved you and you laughed.

“Hey!” You leaned on Crutchie’s shoulder as you joined the group. “Beautiful speech, Jacky-boy,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I’s think you’s gotta future as a politician.”

“Oh hardy hardy har, Scabs.”

Scabs.

Your name.

It was pretty appropriate for a few reasons. When you and Crutchie first joined you had healing burn marks and cuts all over your body. All of them scabbing. You also always had some sort of cut on you. That you were picking at, hence all your scars. Being a newsie, especially one with a big secret, caused a lot of anxiety, you couldn’t help it.

You smirked at him and shook your head.

“So, wheres we go from here?”

“That's a question for Davey.”

“Well, where is-” before you could get your statement out, chaos broke out. You turned around to see the Delancies break into the theatre with cops on their heels. You swore, and Jack pulled Katherine to get her out of the way. She willingly applied.

Delicate little-

You didn’t get to finish your thought before you had started shoving the cops and Delancies, entering the brawl with full force.

You watched as all the boys started to get their asses kicked and then get out of the theatre. You and Jack somehow ended up side by side, fighting the delancies as the cops chased after the others. But then you saw him.

Snider the Spider stared Jack down, an evil grin on his face.

Not on your watch.

“Jack, get outta here!” You screamed. Jack looked at you.

“No!”

“Jack! Just do it!”

“But-”

“GO!” He was so startled that he dodged his last punch and ran up into the catwalk of Medda’s place. You fought off the Delancies and ran. Turning around only when you herald CRutchie scream for mercy.

You turn and see the delancies and Spider standing over him.

“Crutch!” You scream and run back over even faster than you had running away, barreling over sand bags and loose wires.

The Delancies and Snider watched you and left CRutchie alone coming after you instead. You watched as Crutchie crawled away.

Morris came at you with a swing. You easily dodged it and threw him into his brother who stumbled back into Snider. You laughed and turned, about to make your get away. Instead you ran straight into an officer who threw you back onto the floor. Morris and Oscar attacked, like hungry piranhas, though they at least were prettier and smelled better.

You felt pain erupt all over you until it was gone and you felt nothing, saw nothing, and for a few hours were nothing…

Xx

Jack stumbled back into the Manhattan Newsies’ terf. The boys were all hanging around, checking on each other after the brawl.

He couldn’t believe they got Crutchie.

“Damn Crip,” he mumbled, shaking his head, not knowing what to do next.

“Jack!” he looked up when Race called his name. He came running up to him. “Jack, where Scab?”

“Scab?” Jack’s eyes widened. No. They couldn’t have gotten you, too. You-you had run. He saw you.

He heard the familiar Thunk Thunk of a crutch. He looked up and saw Crutchie a bit battered, but alive and here.

“Crutchie!?” The crippled boy swallowed, tears in his eyes.

“They-they got ‘er, Jack.” he rasped out. “Jack-they they got ‘er.”

He collapsed, his crutch falling out from under him. Jack caught him and Race left, letting them talk alone.

“Who’s her, Crutchie? WHo’s got her? How did you escape?” Crutchie swallowed.

“Y/N, they got, Y/N.”

“Who has her,” Jack said, a bit confused not knowing Crutchie had himself a girl.

“Snider!” He exploded, hitting Jack’s chest. “They got ‘er, Jack! They got ‘er.” He sobbed, his voice breaking.

“Ok, ok. How did he get your girl, Crutchie. Just calm down and explain it.” Crutchie stared at him for a second not understanding why he was acting like he was until he realized he used your real name.

Crutchie settled himself and took a breath.

“Jack, Y/N is Scab.” Jack stared at his friend for a moment.

“What?’ Crutches sighed and lowered himself to the ground.

“I think you need to have a seat, Jack.

Xx

You had woken up in the refuge, staring at the ceiling, a thin stream of moonlight streamed through the small barred slit in the wall that was considered a “window”. You were almost as wanted as Jack was. Only the best accommodations for the Enemy number 2, right?

You sighed and shivered as the wind blew in and froze your toes, the scratchy, old, thin blanket doing nothing to protect you.

“Y/N!” You look up to see Crutchie at the slit in the wall. You eyes widen and you spring up, running to him.

“Crutch! What are you doin’ here. Are you dumb or something?”

“I needed to make sure you were ok, kid.” You sighed. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” you put your head on the bars. “How are the boys? Everyone makes it out alright?”

“Yeah, but I have someone who wants ta see ya.”

He stepped out of the way and revealed Jack. You stared at him and knew immediately that he knew. That Crutchie had told him. You had never wanted to kill the boy who was like your brother more in your life.

“Hey, Scab, how ya doin’?”

“You told him,” you glared at Crutchie and he looked away, not being able to meet your eyes. “The hell, Crutch!” You shouted as loud as you dared. Snider was listening… always was… and you didn’t want to get the boys caught.

“Scab-er-Y/N, are you ok?” Jack asked, concern filling his expression. You looked at him, grateful for the street lights that hid your face, yet illuminated his.

“I’m fine, Jack. Did anyone else get caught?”

They shook their heads and you sighed.

“Good.” You heard footsteps coming down the hall. You looked over your shoulder and swallowed. They heard you. They had to of.”You guys should get going.”

“But-”

“Do yous wanna get caught?” he swallowed and shook his head.

“We’ll get you outta here.”

“No, Jacky-boy, I don’t think you will. Do the strike and do it good. Win.” He opened his mouth to object, but you looked at Crutchie. “Get ‘im and yourself outta here before yous get caught.” He looked down and tugged Jack’s sleeve, pulling him away from you. As they made their way down the fire escapes he caught a glimpse of you in the light and his eyes widened with horror as he took in your face. Bloodied, bruised, and puffy. They had got you good… and that was not going to fly...

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!!

Rex and Quetzalcoatl had a pair of twins that they cared for very much. A girl named Maria, and a boy named Eduardo.

The twins were born on the 25th of September, and that date had arrived so it was time to celebrate their birthday!

In the morning, Mari was peacefully asleep.

Mari: *SNOOOOOOORE!*

Quetz, softly: mijaaaaaaa....

Mari: mmm....!

Quetz: mijaaaaaaa.....!

Mari, sleepily: mama..... I wanna..... sneeeeep......!

Quetz: but mija, it's your birthday today....!

Mari: hmmm.....

Quetz: did you hear me, mija?

Mari: *grumble* ok..... *sigh* I'm getting up already.

Mari got up, still very tired.

Mari: Da hell's my glasses?

Quetz handed her her glasses.

Mari: gracias....

Quetz: you should probably hurry, everyone else is already getting ready.

Mari: who the hell is everyone else?

Quetz: just the rest of the family.

Mari: hmmmm.... okay...... was worried I'd have to deal with a party.....

Quetz: don't worry, we know you don't enjoy those. It'll be just the family.

Mari: good....

After some time getting ready, Maria went out into the living room.

Mari, while yawning: ok.... how long will it take to get there again?

Rex: uh... not too long, maybe an hour or so on the serpent.

Ed: still crazy how fast he can be.

Quetz: well of course my familiar would be fast! It'd be a bit disappointing otherwise.

After a bit of time getting ready, the family went outside to see Quetz's pterosaur outside ready to go!

Quetz: ok everyone! Get on!

The family got onto the large flying reptile.

Rex: ok then. Now just a simple invisibility spell so we're not spotted on our way there.

Ed: radar won't work either right?

Rex: right, I've got everything covered, Mijo.

After that, the beast took off!

After some time in the air, their destination was in sight: Mexico City!

Ed: wow!

Mari: such a massive city.

Quetz: ah, it's been too long since we've been here.

Finally the pterosaur landed and they got off to go out into the city!

Rex: man, this place brings back memories!

Ed: so, where to first anyways?

Quetz: it's up to you guys

Mari: breakfast!

Rex: ok yeah, should probably eat first

*stomachs were growling*

The family went to a nice restaurant for their breakfast.

Quetz: mija, those are a lot of pancakes...

Mari: si, and?

Rex: your mother is just a bit concerned for you is all.

Mari: hmmm, sounds unnecessary.

Rex: also Ed, is that enough bacon?

Ed: hmmm.... maybe.

After breakfast, there were still many things that could be done.

First thing, was visiting the old site of Teotihuacan.

Quetz: *sigh* it's been a very long time.....

Mari: looks kinda.... decrepit.

Rex: kinda par for the course with old ruins and shit.

Ed: ....is there a ball court?

Quetz: si, but I doubt we're allowed to play these days.

Ed: awww....

Next stop, was the Aquarium.

Mari: Shork

Ed: Shork

Rex: ya real fascinated by those sharks huh?

Quetz: don't ya wanna see the penguins?

Ed: Penguins?!?!

Rex: also piranhas.

Mari: PIRANHAS?!?!?!

Next was the Zoo

Rex: mi corazon, it's just a random Jaguar. There's no need to cause a scene.

Quetz: I CAN SEE MY STUPID BROTHER TAUNTING ME THROUGH IT'S EYES!!!!

Mari: Mamá, not every Jaguar is Tio Tez.

Ed: we're gonna get kicked out if you don't stop.....

Rex: really hope there aren't any spiders too.

Another fun site, was the museum.

Ed: so..... this is Piedra del Sol?

Quetz: si

Mari: but... so is your noble phantasm?

Quetz: si

Ed: ....how does that work?

Rex: don't ask too many questions about this kinda stuff. You'll get it eventually.

Finally, it was getting a bit late. So it was time to return home.

Mari: we getting the presents now?!?!?

Rex: si, si. You relax will ya?

Ed: you already know she can be a bit greedy.

Quetz: it's better that you try to relax that, Mija.

When they finally got home, a Large assortment of presents were waiting for them.

Mari: Hell yeah!

Ed: hmmmmmm......

Mari: let's see.... which one first....

Mari first grabbed one with.... very unique wrapping, eyes and other odd things decorated the paper.

When she unwrapped it, what was inside was a plush wolf

Mari: AAAWWW!!!

Ed, opening a similar box, got a plush Narwhal.

Ed: oooooh!

And the horn started to glow

Ed: huh

Rex: ....that's a sword

Quetz: it's definitely a sword

Mari: also, my plush smells poisonous.

Rex: well.... that's par for the course for your Tia Quinny.

Next were.... slot machines?

Ed: so we just... pull them?

Quetz: I guess so?

The twins pull the levers of the slot machines.

The machines spun their slots for a time, until finally stopping on 3 symbols that looked like present boxes. Then out of the machines, popped out tickets for both kids.

Mari: oh

Ed: huh

From Mari's popped out VIP tickets to a Music Festival.

Mari: POG

And from Ed's popped out, a soccer season pass.

Ed: oh word?!

And finally, matching tickets for the two, for "5 hours of use of the Mooncell" from BB

Mari: ......

Ed: .......

Quetz: well that sure is.... interesting.

After that, was another box. Wrapped in blue wrapping paper. The two unwrapped it, and inside were two gecko eggs. Along with incubators and everything necessary to raise lizards. With a lil tag saying "from Calamity" (Chalchiuhtlicue)

Mari: LIZARD

Ed: they're cute!

Next were two VERY big gifts wrapped in bone patterned wrapping.

Mari: gimme!

After Mari unwrapped the gift, what she found was a VERY large obsidian Hammer.

Mari: ah hell yeah!

SLAM

Ed: damn.... ok.

For Ed, was a large Obsidian Club.

Ed: oh fuck, ok.

Rex: there a reason Xolotl decided to give such gifts?

Quetz: good question.....

Then a very deep and loud *CROAK* was heard

Ed: FROGE

Then hopping out, was a very VERY large bullfrog. About a foot and a half in length!

Ed: OH HE'S A LARGE LAD!

Mari: damn.

Rex: mija, look behind that tree.

Mari: hmm?

When Mari looked, she saw a Huge car! Modeled after the Batmobile!

(Tho, with bat theming replaced with skulls)

Mari: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

After latching onto the car, Mari was very happy.

Mari: finally.......! I can drive!

Quetz: can we trust her with that?

Rex: we'll play it by ear.

And in a small package near the center of the pile. Was a first aid kit, with a note.

"Happy birthday you two, hope you enjoy the car and frog. And don't forget to stay safe with the first aid kit love, Florence, Julius and Eva."

Mari: awwww.....

Ed: so sweeet....

There were many other presents from friends and family alike, more toys, clothes, even laptops too.

Then it was finally time for Rex and Quetz's presents for the kids.

Boom

Mari: the hell?

Then, out of the trees of the nearby jungle, came a large animal. A dinosaur known as Giganotosaurus.

Mari: oh...!

The creature stomped up to the family, until it stopped in front of Mari.

Mari: holy crap.....

Rex: now you have your own divine familiar too, Mija!

Mari: oh shit!

Quetz: si, wasn't sure why you didn't get one the same time as Ed's Pliosaur, but now we got you one!

Mari: finally!

Quetz: and for Mijo, it may not be as big. But since you already got your Pliosaur. We got you this instead.

In Quetz's hands, was what looked to be an electric eel. Tho it glittered with green sparkles, not unlike that of jade.

Ed: whoa, he's an odd lil guy.

Rex: he's very special too. He's not just any electric eel. But a divine construct at that!

Quetz: si, his name is Onotlachin. The storm fish.

Ed: hot damn!

Ed held the lil guy in his hands, and felt the energy within the fish. It also seemed perfectly fine without water.

Ed: he's amazing, gracias!

Mari: si! Gracias for this!

Rex: no problem you two!

Quetz: si, anything for mis hijos!

A/N: and there's the birthday story. Sorry it came out a bit late. Things happened irl. Hopefully everyone likes it! And the festivities can still continue on throughout the weekend and even longer if anyone wants to celebrate with us.

Tags

@hasbbdoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @exmeowstic @grievouslyxorvia @panyum @witch-of-chaldea @chaldeamage-neo @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @renmeo @writer-and-artist27

[snake-rot]

(EXCLAIMING)

(ORCHESTRA MUSIC BLARING)

(GROANS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GRUNTING)

(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)

(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHS)

Sweet home Alabama

Where the skies are so blue

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?

Sweet home Alabama

(GRUNTING)

Lord, I'm coming home to you

(GRUNTS) Justin!

Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Yeah

Justin, you get back here right now!

No, stop!

GUARD 1: No, no, no! Stop him! GUARD 2: Go back! Don't climb!

(JUSTIN IMITATING AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)

Wait, wait.

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

(GASPS)

No, no, no, no, no! Oh! There he goes.

(GASPS)

Justin!

I've got him! I've got him!

(JUSTIN GRUNTS)

(AIR ESCAPING)

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered

that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains

is responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

Gru: Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray! [laughs evilly] Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don't appreciate it. Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: Okay. Yeah. Steamrolling whatever Gru: [groans] You've got to be pulling on my leg! Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale. Gru: Go away. I'm not home. Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: [gasps] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. [o.s.] Watch this. Leave a message, beep. [Edith kicks the door] Gru: Ow! Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message. Margo: [o.s.] Agnes, come on. Gru: Huh? [screams] Kyle! Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid. They're saying he makes all other villains look... lame. pause Gru: Assemble the minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm] Minions, assemble! Minion: Okay. Okay. Hey! Gru: Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good? All right. That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry? Hello, everybody! Yeah, all right! Simmer down. Simmer down! Thank you, okay. Now, I realize that you guys probably heard about this other villain who stole the pyramids. Apparently, it's a big deal. People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that. But am I upset? No, I am not! A little, but we have had a pretty good year ourselves, and you guys are all right in my book. Minion: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Gru: No, no raises! You're not going to get any raises. What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that's not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty, the small one from Las Vegas. And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr. Nefario... Dr. Nefario: Thank you! Gru: There he is. He's stylin'. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the 'true crime of the century. We are going to steal... The Minions all pull out their weapons in response. Gru: Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet. One of the Minions, Dave, shoots his rocket launcher at a crowd of Minions. Gru: Hey. Dave, listen up, please! Dave: Ditto. One of the Minions Dave shot walks over to him and punches him on the shoulder. Gru: Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the moon! The Minions cheer in response. Gru: And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. [picks up his phone] Yes? Dr. Nefario: Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers, and I really don't see how we can afford this. It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker. Gru:Hey, chillax. I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me! Margo: Edith, stop it! Edith: What? I'm just walking. Girls: Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. Miss Hattie: Hello, girls! Agnes: Anybody come to adopt us while we were out? Miss Hattie: Hmm... Let me think. No! Edith immediately puts a mud pie on Miss Hattie's desk, much to her displeasure. Miss Hattie: Edith! What did you put on my desk? Edith: A mud pie. Miss Hattie: [sighs] You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you? Edith: Yeah, I know. Miss Hattie: Good. So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas? Margo: Hmm... Sorta. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies and 18 coco-nutties. Miss Hattie: [gets up] Okay.

Well, you say that like it's a great sale day. [furious] Look at my face! Do you still think it's a great sale day? Edith rolls her eyes in response. Miss Hattie: [hangs up a portrait] Eighteen coco-nutties. I think we can do a little better than that, don't you? Yeah. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No. Girls: No, Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie: Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine. Girls: Hi, Penny. Penny: Hi, guys. Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something that's very, very big, very important. When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud. Gru's Mom: Ha! [sarcastically] Good luck with that. Okay, I'm outta here. [hangs up the phone before sending her karate instructor flying] Gru: Gru to see Mr Perkins Receptionist: Yes, please have a seat. Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Young Gru: Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon. Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, Son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more. Vector: Hey. I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my... Receptionist: Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now. Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours. Perkins: Wow! Well, very nice presentation. I'd like to see this shrink ray. Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... Get the picture? Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid! Gru: I've got it. I've got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket... Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk. Minion: Suckers! Suckers! Gru: We got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You! Vectors: Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru! Gru: Quick! We can't let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire! Fire, now! Vector: You missed me! Gru: Come to papa! Take that. Vector: How adorable. Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a... What? Vector: Hey, Gru! Try this on for size! Gru: That's weird. What is going... This is claustrophobic! No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! [groans] I hate that guy. Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep. Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains. Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith. Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen. Margo/Edith: Amen. Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them Uni, uni, unicorns I love them Uni, unicorns, I could pet one If they were really real And they are So, I bought one so I could pet it Now it loves me Now I love it Gru: Don't you... What the... Good luck, little girls! Edith: Whoa! Cool. Margo: Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls. Vector: I don't care. Beat it! Margo: Come on! We're selling

cookies so, you know, we can have a better future. Vector: Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? Margo: Yeah. Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What? Gru: Cookie robots! Dr. Nefario: Who is this? - Gru: Oh, forget it. Mrs. Hattie: Well, it appears you have cleared our background check, Dr Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading. And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood. - Minions: Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Minion: Kevin? Mrs. Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. Minion: Idiot! - Minions: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mrs Hattie: What in the name of... What? Gru: Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? Mrs. Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish? Gru: You have a face como un burro. Mrs. Hattie: Well, thank you! Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited! Mrs. Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. Margo: I bet the mom is beautiful! Edith: I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle. Agnes: I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears. [Edith and Margo look at her curiously] I'm just saying it'd be nice. [picks up a Cheeto] Aww. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. Edith: That's a Cheeto. Agnes: Oh... [eats said Cheeto, making Edith and Margo recoil in disgust] Miss Hattie: Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. [pause] Gru: Who's Debbie? Mrs Hattie: Your wife. Hi, girls! Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru. He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! Agnes: Yeah! Margo: Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes. Agnes: [sing-song] I got your leg, I got your leg! Gru: Okay, that is enough, little girl. Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. Agnes: Higher! Higher! Gru: Just release your grip. Wow! How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar? [sighs] Okay, girls, let's go. [They drove off in the distance.]Vector: Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya! You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that! You done been shrunk! (His phone rings) Yello? I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru? Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna be begging for mercy. (Shrinks a toilet) Okay, bye. (Hangs up) Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby to... [The toilet pops out and water sprays him.]Vector: Curse you, tiny toilet! [Gru and the Girls arrive at Gru's Home.] Gru: "Okay, here we are. Home sweet home. Margo: So... This is, like, your house? [realizing] Wait a sec... You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! Gru: No, that was someone else. [Margo gives a skeptical look before she, Edith and Agnes enter Gru's house, with Gru following suite.] Agnes: [scared] Can I hold your hand? Gru: Uh... No. Edith: [looks around] When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like "Annie". Gru: No, hey! [screams] Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my... Dog. Kyle snarls in anger. Agnes: Ooh! Fluffy doggy! [approaches Kyle before he runs away, much to her disappointment] Margo: What kind of dog is that? Gru: He is a... I don't know. Margo: Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause, uh... It's not. [Edith sees a closet that is sharp and goes in it.] Gru: No! No! Stay away from there! It's frag... [He sees juice spilling on the floor.]Both: (Gasps) Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [muffled] Hey! It's dark in here. [Gru opens the iron maiden, revealing Edith, who spits out a straw]Edith: It poked a hole in my juice box. [They went to the

kitchen.] Gru: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. All right. Okay. As I was saying... (Edith knocked a bottle down) Gru: (Cont'd) Hey! Oh. Edith: Somebody broke that. Gru: "Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor? Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor. Margo: What about the air? Gru: Yes, you may touch the air! Edith: (Gets out a laser gun) What about this? Gru: (Screams) Where did you get that? Edith: [shrugs] Found it. Gru: Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right? Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [popping] Gru: Very! [sighs] I will see you in six hours. Margo: Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes? Gru: Question. What are these? Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me! Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old? Dr. Nefario: Okay. I'm on it. Margo: Hello? Agnes: TV! Margo: What is that? Edith: Whoa! That is cool! Come on! Agnes: I don't think he's a dentist.Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's a anti-gravity serum. I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: So far, no. No, they don't. And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. Gru: No, no. I said "dart gun," not... Okay. Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this? But, anyway. What I really wanted to show you was this. Gru: Now those are cookie robots! Agnes: La, la, la, la I love unicorns Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen! Margo: We got bored. What is this place? Edith: Can I drink this? Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin] Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Get back in the kitchen! Agnes: Will you play with us? Gru: No. Agnes: Why? Gru: Because I'm busy. Margo: [scoffs] Doing what? Gru: Umm... Okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody, because if you do... Edith: What does this do? [She fires a laser and it hits Agnes's unicorn and it burns to ashes]Gru: Hey! Edith: Whoops. Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it. Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps in shock, then starts holding her breath] Gru: That's freaking me out. What is she doing? Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one. Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy. Now stop it! (Agnes faints) Gru: Okay, okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy. Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy! Go, and hurry! What are those? Gru: They are my... Cousins. Jerry! Stuart! Watch them and keep them away from me please. [The three minions put on a disguise and head to the store.]Minions: Wow!- Wow! [Meanwhile the two minions and the girls are tossing toilet paper at each other. Gru comes up and he sees the Girls and the two minions having fun.]Edith: It was your cousin's idea. Jerry: What? Gru: Okay, bedtime. Girls: Aww... Minions: Aww... Gru: Not you two! Minions: Yay. Gru: Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: I think I can live with that. Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn. Edith: "Cool." Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?" Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. And there's probably something in your closet. Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes. Agnes: It's beautiful. Gru: Girls, let's go.

Time to deliver the cookies! Margo: Okay. But first, we're going to dance class. Gru: Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today. Margo: Actually, we can't skip the dance class today. We have a big recital coming up. We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Agnes: Yeah, Swan Lake! Gru: That's fantastic. Wonderful. But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on! Margo: No. Gru: No? Margo: We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class. Really? Gru: Well, I am not driving you to dance class. So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves. What are you doing? Margo: Walking to dance class. Gru: Ya? Okay, fine. You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you! Margo: Okay. Gru: You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru! Seriously, I'm going to count to three! And you had better be in this car! Here we go! One! Two! Teacher: ...three, four and five. And lift, and stretch. And one, and two... Agnes: Here you go. Gru: What is it? Agnes: Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right? Gru: Of course, of course. I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on. Agnes: Pinkie promise? Gru: Oh, yes. My pinkie promises. All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector. Margo: But he's a V. You know, we're supposed to start with the A's. Then we go to the B's. Then we... Gru: Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works! I was just thinking that it might be nice to deliver Mr Vector's first. That is all. Almost over. It's almost over. Vector: Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude! Do you have my cookies for me? Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties. Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me. Margo: That'll be $52. Vector: Right. Seven, eight, nine... Tic Tacs! Where was I? Seven, eight, nine... Agnes: Why are you wearing pyjamas? Vector: These aren't pyjamas! This is a warm-up suit. Edith: What are you warming up for? Vector: Stuff. Agnes: What sort of stuff? Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand. Agnes: Like sleeping? Vector: They are not pyjamas! Here you go, 52 big ones. Bye! Gru: Come on! Vector: What the...? Quiet down, fish. Down, boy!Gru: [laughs] We did it! Come on, girls, let's go! Margo: But what about the other people who ordered cookies? Gru: Life is full of disappointments... For some people. [chuckles ominously] Agnes: (Screams) Gru: Don't do that! Agnes: Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please? Gru: No. Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth! Gru: "Don't care." Girls: Please? Please? We'll never ask for anything else, ever again! Pretty please? Please? Come on! Come on! Gru: "Light bulb." Edith: Come on! Gru: "Goodbye, have fun. [He began to leave. But a attendant of the roller coaster stopped him.]Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult. Gru: What? [groans] [Soon Gru gets sick from the roller coaster ride.]Agnes: Oh, my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! Margo: You've gotta let us play for it! Gru: No, no, no. Agnes: Come on! Gru: How much for the fluffy unicorn?Carnival Barker: Well, it is not for sale. But all you gotta do to win it is knock down that little spaceship there. It's easy! Agnes: Yay! Again! Margo: Wait! Edith: Come on. One more time! Agnes: Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes. I hit it! I hit it! Edith: That was cool. Awww. Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! Gru: Okay, my turn. [Gru uses a fire gun and it blows up the whole booth.]Gru: "Knocked over!" Agnes: It's so fluffy! Yeah! Margo: That was

awesome! Edith: You blew up the whole thing! Agnes: Let's go. Let's try another game!Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word? Gru: Okay, girls, go play. I got the shrink ray! Cotton candy! Dr. Nefario: We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions! Gru: Get me Perkins. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! Mr. Perkins: What? Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon. I grab the moon. I sit on the toi-let. What? (girls start laughing) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? I told you not to touch my things. I told you, I told you. I've told you a thousand times. Margo: Hey, can we order pizza? Gru: Pizza? You just had lunch. Edith: Not now, for dinner. Gru: Dinner? Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there! Margo: Can we get stuffed crust? Agnes and Jerry: Stuffed crust!Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! Agnes: [giggles] You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! All right. Sorry about that. Where were we? Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet. Gru: No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was a little attempt at humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins glares at him] Inside. Eh, now, I was saying... [the door suddenly opens] You don't seem terribly focused, Gru. Believe me, I am completely focused. Right? Edith: Hello! Mr. Perkins: What? Edith: That guy is huge! Agnes: Are we on TV? Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?Gru: What are you doing? I told you to stay out of here! No, no, no! *Agnes: Freeze ray!Mr. Perkins: Mr Gru? Gru: Okay. As I was saying... Mr. Perkins: No need to continue. I've seen quite enough. Gru: But my plan... Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan. I love everything about your plan, except for one thing. You. Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! Look, Mom, I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype! Gru: I don't understand. Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... Well, a younger villain. Gru: But I... Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. Gru: Now, I know there have been some rumours going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest. They are true. In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't. We are doomed. Now would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know. I have fired up my resume as I suggest that all of you do, as well. What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk? Yes! Yes, we will build our own rocket using this and whatever else we can find! Grab everything! Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars! Who needs the bank? Let's go. Let's go! Mom! What are you doing here? Gru's Mom: And here he is in the bathtub. Look at his little buns. Gru: Mom. Not cool. Gru's Mom: And here, he's all dressed up in his Sunday best. Margo: He looks like a girl! Gru's Mom: Yes, he does. An ugly girl! Agnes: You're funny! Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy! Receptionist: Mr. Perkins, your son is here. Mr. Perkins: Send him in. Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me? Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor. - Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector! Mr. Perkins: Sit down. Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh! Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? That's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks exactly like it! Vector: What the...?! Those girls sold me cookies! Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be? I give you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you just blow it! Vector: No, I didn't. Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?Vector: You just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah! Man:

There's a squid on my face!Vector: Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours. Gru: Come on now, it's bedtime. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell. Let me smell. You did not! Put on your PGs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it! Edith: But we're not tired! Gru: Well, I am tired. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? [pause] Gru: No. Agnes: Pretty please? Gru: The physical appearance of the "please" makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep. Edith: But we can't. We're all hyper! Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you. All night long. Gru: [sighs] Fine. All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens. Sleepy Kittens? What are these? Agnes: Puppets. You use them when you tell the story. Gru: Okay, let's get this over with. "Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day. "Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed."' Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this? Agnes: Keep reading! Edith: Come on! Gru: All right, all right, all right. "Three little kittens started to bawl, "'Mommy, we're not tired at all.' "Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "'Fine, but at least you should brush your fur."' Edith: Now you brush the fur. Gru: This is literature? A 2-year-old could have written this. All right. "Three little kittens with fur all brushed "said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! ' "Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "'Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."' Agnes: Now make them drink the milk. Gru: I don't like this book. This is going on forever. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try.' Then their mother sang a lullaby. "'Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. "'Though while you sleep, we are apart, "'your mommy loves you with all her heart."' The end. Okay, good night. Agnes: Wait! Gru: What? Agnes: What about good night kisses? Gru: No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging or kissing. Margo: He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes. Agnes: I like him. He's nice.Edith: [turns off her light] But scary. Like Santa! Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours till the launch, and all systems are go. Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist. Dr. Nefario: Please tell me this is not as a result of the girls' dance recital, is it? Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right? Dr. Nefario: Gru, you and I have been working on this for years. It's everything we've dreamed of. Your chance to make history, become the man who stole the moon! But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go. If you don't do something about it, then I will. Gru: I understand. Dr. Nefario: Good. Minion: Butt. Butt. Butt. Gru: All right. Now, when we put our cups together, we will make the "clink" sound with our mouths. Ready? Edith? Gru: and Edith: Clink. Gru: There we go. And now we drink. And Agnes? Gru and Agnes: Clink. Gru: Very good! Excuse me, girls. Girls: Come on! Gru: Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking. - Clink, clink. - Clink, clink.Gru: Miss Hattie, what are you doing here? Miss Hattie: I'm here for the girls. I received a call that you wanted to return them. [Gru gives her a quizzical look] And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary. [swats Gru's head with the dictionary] I didn't like what you said. Gru: But... I will get the girls ready. Agnes: Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us. Mrs. Hattie: All right, girls. Come on, let's go. Margo: Goodbye, Mr. Gru. Thanks for everything. Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let's go get that moon. Gru: Right. What is this for? The recital? I am the greatest criminal mind of the century. I don't go to little girls' dance recitals! Dr. Nefario: Opening launch bay

doors. Commencing launch sequence. And we are good to go in T minus 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... Vector: Oh, yeah! Gru: Nice work, Doctor. All systems go. Vector: Boo-ya! My flight suit. Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty... Gru: I've got it! I've got the moon! I've got the moon. I can make it. Dr. Nefario: Wait a minute! Jerry: Kevin! Gru: Come on! Come on! Agnes: He's still not here. Margo: Why would he come? He gave us up. Agnes: But he pinkie promised! Teacher: Girls, girls, places. Edith: No, we can't start yet! We're still expecting someone. Agnes: Can we just wait a few more minutes? Teacher: All right. But just a few more minutes. Margo: He's not coming, guys. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru, can you hear me? Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Gru: Okay, okay. There's the library. That's Third Street. The dance studio... There! There! There it is! Janitor: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.Gru: Over? Gru: Vector, open up! Vector: First give me the moon. Then we'll talk. Agnes: Mr. Gru! Vector: Zip it, Happy Meal. Gru: Now, the girls. Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold on to them a little while longer. Gru: No! Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! Gru: Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain! Vector: [laughs sarcastically] I'm really scared. Agnes: He is gonna kick your butt. Vector: What? He punched my shark! Dr. Nefario: There he is! Hang on, Gru. Oh, no! Gru: Vector has the girls. Go! Dr. Nefario: What happened to the ship? It's big again! Not as big as the moon is going to be! Gru: What? Dr. Nefario: The larger the mass of an object, the quicker the effects of the shrink ray wear off! I call it the Nefario Principle. I just came up with it now, actually. Gru: Oh, no! Margo: Did you see that? Girls: Vector! Help! Vector! Over here! Vector: Hey! What are you girls doing back there? Girls: The moon! Watch out! Vector: Ouch! Gru: Get as close in as you can. You got it. Margo: Mr Gru, up here! Agnes and Edith: Mr Gru! Gru: Okay, girls! Girls! You're going to have to jump. Edith: Jump? Are you insane? Gru: Don't worry, I will catch you. Margo: You gave us back! Gru: I know, I know. And it is the worst mistake I ever made. But you have to jump now. Margo: It'll be okay. Gru: Okay, girls. Margo: Jump now! Gru: Margo, I will catch you. And I will never let you go again. Vector: Not so fast! Gru: No! Margo: Let me go! Gru: Margo! I'm coming, Margo. Hang on! I got you.Vector: No! Oh, poop. News Reporter: This time, good triumphs, and the moon has been returned to its rightful place in the sky. But once again, law enforcement is baffled, leaving everyone to wonder, who is this mysterious hero? And what will he do next? Gru: Okay, girls. Time for bed. Edith: Come on! We want a story. Agnes: Three sleepy kittens! Gru: Oh, no! Sorry. That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously. Tonight we are going to read a new book. This one is called One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this? Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book! Here, watch this. That's the horn! Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever! Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but, yes, it probably will be. Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free "thought he was happy as he could be. "Then three little kittens came around "and turned his whole life upside down." Edith: Hey, that one looks like me! Gru: No, what are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. "They made him laugh. "They made him cry. "He never should have said goodbye. "And now he knows he could never part "from those three little kittens "that changed his heart. "The end." Okay, all right. Good night. Margo: I love you. Gru: I love you, too. No, no! All right. Didn't I get you already? They're very good! Gru's Mom: I'm so proud of you, Son. You've turned out to be a great parent! Just like me. Maybe even better. Gru: No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no! THE END Hey, Carl! Hey. No, no, no. Me, me, me. John? No, no. Me, me, me. Oh,

poop. Oh, no! Stop! Stop! Hello, I am Gru. Back to work, back to work! Back to…

IS THIS THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCRIPT?