#he looks like he's going to throw down a sick beat to chris

[hollandsangel]

voice | m. sturniolo

i had this idea a million years ago, please enjoy!!

summary: chris wonders if you can tell his and matt’s voice apart

warnings: super fluffy!! a bit suggestive at the very end, i’m questioning if it’s good or not

wc: 1.6k

gif by @mattsturnioloarchive !

“i call shower first!” you exclaim the second the garage door is open, sprinting past matt up the stairs to his bathroom.

“there’s three showers,” chris says matter-of-factly as you blow past him on the steps, holding a hand out in confusion.

matt sighs and follows behind you, passing chris as well, “yeah, but you don’t have to share,” 

you’re already on the mainfloor, running into matt’s bedroom to grab the change of clothes you’d left earlier.

“i’m so glad i don’t have a girlfriend,” chris mutters, earning a smack upside the head from nick, “jesus, fuck, what,”

“you’re just annoying,” nick says, deciding it’s a good enough explanation and getting a laugh out of matt.

“agreed,” matt’s still chuckling when they reach the kitchen table, setting down the take out the four of you had gotten on your way back to the house. he hears the water turn on in his bathroom, accompanied by the soft sound of your voice as you sing along to your music.

“oh she’s a nicki fan,” nick says to no one in particular, referencing the tik tok sound when he notices you’re listening to a nicki minaj song. 

matt looks up from the bag of food and laughs.

chris sinks into the couch but looks over at matt, arm slung over the cushions, “i wonder if she could tell our voices apart,” he says after a second. 

“what?” matt asks, thinking the question is mildy rediculous. 

“like do you think she could recognize your voice?” chris explains, wandering into the kitchen now. opening a pepsi and leaning up against the counter. 

nick chimes in now, having been fiddling with the vlog camera and battery, “like compared to you and me?” he asks chris, glancing back at matt as if to say ‘is this guy for real?’

“yeah,” chris nods.

“yeah, obviously she’d be able to tell my voice apart from yours,” matt is looking back at the food again, tone matter-of-fact, as if what he’d said was absolute common sense. 

chris is quiet for about half a second and matt thinks that’s the end of that absurd conversation. it isn’t, of course. 

“should we test it out?” chris asks through a sip of soda.

matt officially gives up on trying to set the food up, throwing his hands up in mock surrender before turning to chris, “and how are we gonna do that?”

chris shrugs, but nick has an idea, “chris, you could like, just go ask her for something, if you left something in the bathroom—“

“absolutely not,” matt shuts it down immediately with a shake of his head, “you're not going in the bathroom when my girlfriend is showering,”

“i won’t even go all the way in!! i’ll cover my eyes,” chris promises, but matt is still skeptical. “i’ll just like poke my head in the door and ask if i left like..a belt or some shit in there,” is chris’ next offer. 

matt sighs and thinks about it, weighing the pros and cons. of course you can tell his voice apart from his brothers…right? he’s making himself nervous, pysching himself out and worrying they all sound the same to you. it upsets him for some reason, he can’t quite decide why.

“fine,” he agrees after a beat of silence, convincing himself you know whis voice well enough to separate it from chris’, and if you can’t, he thinks he might actually feel a sick twinge of unjustified jealousy.

“yes,” chris mutters under his breath, always excited to pull a prank on anyone.

“this is definitely going in the vlog,” nick says, still messing with the camera and coming to sit at the kitchen table where matt is now.

“i can’t believe i agreed to this,” matt mumbles, rubbing his eyes and taking a deep breath. he stands from his seat and walks over to the wall where he can see the bathroom door, feeling some what protective, like he needs to supervise chris to make sure he doesn’t wander too far into the bathroom.

“what should i say?” chris turns back arms pulled in close to his body as if he’s nervous. he’s already grinning and trying to keep from laughing.

“ooh, call her sweetheart, matt always does that,” nick suggests, wiggling his brows in matt’s direction to tease him.

“oh my god,” matt groans softly, rubbing at his eyes, “i fucking hate you guys,”

“okay, i’m going in,” matt drops his hands at that, eyes on his brother immediately. chris puts a hand over his eyes, just as he said he said he would before knocking on the door. nick has the camera out to record and is trying to stifle his laugh in the collar of his hoodie.

at the sound of the knock matt hears your voice, calling out for him, no doubt thinking it’s him at the door. he has to cover his mouth, partly out of nerves but also to keep himself from saying anything.

“yeah,” chris starts, needing to take a second before continuing because he’s already making himself laugh. “yeah, sweetheart, did i leave my belt in here?” he asks, barely stood in the doorway of the bathroom.

“uhh, i think it’s in your bedroom?” you say after a slight pause, about to poke your head out from behind the shower curtain, but chris has already mumbled a ‘thanks’ and essentially sprinted out of the bathroom, closing the door and crumbling to the floor in giggles.

“you’re not fucking real,” matt shakes his head, laughing softly himself and pushing off the wall to go back to the kitchen table. he’s a bit bummed that you didn’t realize it wasn’t his voice, but he keeps that to himself.

nick pans the camera over to matt’s face, which seems expressionless, even with both his brothers cackling outside of the frame.

you come out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, heading into matt’s bedroom to drop the clothes you’d changed out of. matt is instantly sitting back up, the legs of his chair scraping along the hardwood floors.

“ooh, someone’s pissed,” nick turns the camera to himself, eyeing the now closed door.

“that was too fucking good,” chris says after a deep breath, still recovering from laughing so hard. he pulls a chair out next to nick and the two start to explain what had happened to the camera, eyes flicking up to matt’s door every few seconds.

in the bedroom you’re putting your dirty clothes back into your bag when matt comes in, looking a little bit pouty, “hey baby,” you turn towards him, laughing at the slightly pathetic look he gives you, “what’s up?” you wonder.

“m’ tired,” he tells you, slumping up against you for a hug. you wrap your arms around him and rub his back, letting him lay his weight into you.

“we’ll eat and go to bed, yeah?” you give his back another little pat when he nods against you, “mkay, let’s go,” you kiss his cheek quickly, only to have him turn his head in search of a real kiss. you oblige of course.

nick and chris have already started eating and updating the vlog on their day when you and matt come out of the bedroom. matt joins them at the table but you head for the fridge to grab a drink. “oh, did you find your belt?” you ask matt, still digging around.

“what?— oh yeah” he mumbles, gaze turned down to his fries.

“okay good. by the way you sounded so much like chris when you came in— it freaked me the fuck out” you say with your head in the fridge, still searching for the diet coke you know you left inside the door, “did one of you drink my coke–”

“wait what?” matt’s head snaps up, food forgotten.

“hmm?” you turn around to find all three boys looking at you. nick’s mouth open in a half smile and chris clearly trying not to burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. matt’s just staring at you with eyes a little bit too wide before he speaks up.

“what do you mean i sounded weird?” he asks, leaning forward. you notice nick’s shut up about whatever he was saying to the camera earlier, pointing the lens at you now.

“i dunno, when you said sweetheart it just sounded super fucking weird— why are you guys looking at me like that–” you have to ask, feeling slightly weirded out by the intensity of their gazes

“i knew it!!” matt cheers, punching the air and doing a silly little dance as nick doubles over and starts hitting the table.

chris’ jaw drops and he presses his fingers into his eyes as he laughs next to his brother, leaning on him.

matt bounds over to you with a grin, arms wrapping around your waist and lifting you off the ground slightly.

“whaaaat,” you giggle, clearly confused by their reaction. 

“it was me,” chris manages to say between bouts of laughter, “we– we were trying to see if you could tell our voices apart.”

“of course i can tell your voices apart, especially your voice,�� you turn towards matt, saying it like it should be obvious, like it’s silly they doubted you for even a second. 

matt’s just grinning at you, feeling a strange sense of pride swelling in his chest, “i knew you could,” 

“bullshit!” chris exclaims, both him and nick still leaning against each other as they laugh.

“he’s right, you were freaked the fuck out,” nick manages to say between giggles, “you watched chris like a fucking hawk when he opened the bathroom door,” he looks over at you, his smile contagious, “he was definitely freaked the fuck out,”

matt groans and drops his head against your shoulder. you brush your fingers through his hair and chuckle to yourself, “awe matt,” you coo, “i definitely know your voice, i’ll probably be hearing lots of it later anyways.”

tags ! @st4rswrld @urfavvev3lyn @mattsturnioloarchive @averysbestyears @its-jennarose

[bloatedandalone04]

The Only Reason

➪the one where leon finally gives you some much needed closure after four months of feeling nothing but regret from what he did.

Warnings: angst, fluff, making out, swearing, mentions of cheating, cheating, toxic relationships, mentions of a bad past, mentions of weight loss, all the ada slander in the world because i actually cannot stand her, mentions of unwanted sexual attention (from ada to leon), unwanted intimacy (from ada to leon), eating disorders (implied)

Word Count: 5.2k | Part 1

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

The loud music and thumping of the walls were the last thing on Leon’s mind as he scanned every single room of the house. Chris decided to throw a housewarming party for Claire at her new place, and of course Leon was invited. 

Leon refused the initial invitation, but quickly changed his mind when Chris told him that you would be there. It seemed as though the brunet had long since grown sick of his friend’s moping and knew he had to do something about it. 

Pretty much everyone that Leon knew was here, yet he couldn’t seem to find you. The house wasn’t big, and it didn’t have very many rooms, but it seemed like it was still impossible to locate you. Not that he even had a right to. 

If he does manage to find you, what would he even say? “I’m sorry for everything, and for letting you leave without trying to fight for you. Also, I don’t blame you for ignoring my calls and not texting me back, I deserve that.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he sounded that desperate. Back when he was a dumb twenty one year old, he supposed. 

Leon has been here for over an hour now, and he still hasn’t seen you once. He was beginning to think that Chris lied to him just to get him out of the house he used to share with you. While he wouldn’t put it past him, Leon wanted to give Chris the benefit of the doubt and believe that he had good intentions when he invited him to this thing. 

Nearly giving up on his search, Leon heads back to the kitchen, where Jill hands him a bottle of beer. She leans against the counter and he does the same, his eyes still expertly scanning the room, just in case.  “Hey, Kennedy,” she greets as she sips on her own beer. “Haven’t seen you in a while. Been busy with work?”

Leon shrugs, his face almost emotionless. “Yeah,” he lied. Of course he had been going to work and successfully completing missions, but he hadn’t left the house outside of that. Work usually took up a good portion of his time, and the rest of it was spent thinking about how badly he fucked things up with you. 

It wasn’t even worth it. Ada. 

He hadn’t seen her since he broke off their little agreement a month before he confessed to you, despite her texting him and asking to meet up so he can fuck her in exchange for information he thought was worth more than you. 

It really wasn’t. 

He’s been ignoring her texts for months now, just like how you’ve been ignoring his. 

Leon had never blocked someone’s number ever in his life, but Ada was about to be the first if she didn’t take the hint and leave him the fuck alone. 

As much as he wanted to put all the blame on her, he knew it was half his own fault, as well. He couldn’t believe he had gone back to Ada Wong when he had you, his entire world, waiting for him at home. 

He knew he would never forgive himself, even if you somehow managed to move on and forgive him for the worst mistake he had ever made in his twenty nine years of living. 

Four months. 

It’s been four months and he was still beating himself up for what he did to you. 

“Yeah, Chris and I are looking into this new virus that is spreading down in Oxford. The cases have been going up daily, might be something you can help out with,” she offered, leaning closer to him so he could hear her better over the loud music. “You’re more experienced with viruses than anyone else I know.”

Leon gave her a tight lipped smile. “Sure, Jill,” he replied. “Whatever you need.”

“Great,” she says as she finishes off her beer. “You staying long? I never took you as the party type.”

He really wasn’t. He hadn’t been to a party since he was nineteen. Even the frat parties he was invited to were boring, so he never had the urge to go to anymore after the age of twenty. Until now, because he was told that you would be here. 

And he wanted to see you so badly. 

“I’m not, really,” he agreed and brought the bottle up to his mouth. “I just thought someone I know would be here-”

He wasn’t able to take a sip of the alcohol before his eyes landed on you as soon as you entered the room. 

All words had died on his tongue and the bottle was raised half way before his hand froze. 

You looked beautiful. Your cute white dress fit you well and showed off the concerning amount of weight you had lost. He hadn’t seen you that small since the beginning of your relationship, back when you didn’t know how to take care of yourself and listen to your body’s warnings. 

Leon felt his heart constrict at the thought of you going back to your old ways of ignoring the signs your body tried giving you. You were barely getting by when he met you, and you hadn’t gone completely back to that since leaving him, if your makeup and pretty hair were anything to go by. 

You hadn’t given up on yourself entirely, and that gave him enough hope that you would be okay. Even if he was given the chance to talk to you and explain things, he knew you weren’t completely broken like you were when you first started dating, and that you would be fine if you decided to never forgive him. 

Looking as shy as ever, you inch further into the room, seeming to have not noticed Leon yet as you ventured over to the bottles of booze that had been set out on the counter. “Oh, shit, is that Y/n?” Jill asked as she squinted in your direction. “I didn’t know she was coming, but that pretty much explains why you’re here. Are you okay?” 

Leon watched as you browsed through the drink options, dropping his arm back to his side and not caring about the beer that splashed onto his hand at the quick movement. He didn’t take his eyes off you as he slowly shook his head, a quiet “No,” leaving his mouth afterwards. 

Jill looked between the two of you, unsure of what to say. “Do you want to move to another room?”

Leon shook his head again. “No. You said it yourself, Jill. This is why I’m here,” he muttered and watched as a younger guy moved to stand next to you. He helped you pour a large amount of vodka mixed with ginger ale into a cup, and he quickly recognized the guy as one of the new agents Claire had befriended named Kegan. 

Kegan stepped closer to you and Leon could instantly tell that you were uncomfortable. He knew you like the back of his hand and could tell when you got nervous or anxious, like how you are right now. 

Leon stood up straight and placed the untouched bottle of beer behind him on the counter before making his way across the kitchen. 

Within four strides he is behind you and towering over Kegan, who noticed Leon long before you did. “Kennedy? Leon Kennedy is actually at a party? Wow, never thought I’d see the day,” 

Leon glared at him and it was then when you realized who was standing behind you. “You don’t know me,” Leon stated as you turned to face him, but he just kept his eyes on Kegan. Leon had quite the reputation at work, and he was well known as the guy who is more than capable of completing any mission, no matter how tough it may be. 

That being said, his superiority often annoyed the new guys as they tried to live up to the high expectations and standards of Leon Kennedy. 

“And you don’t know her, but I do, and I know she wants you to leave her alone but is far too nice to actually say that to you, so I’ll do it for her,” Leon continued and felt his heart skip a beat at the quiet gasp that left your lips. 

Kegan looked between you and Leon, and more specifically the protective look in his eyes, before backing away with his hands up. “My bad, man,” he shrugged. “Didn’t realize she was with you.”

He disappeared in the crowd as you turned completely to face your ex. “You didn’t need to do that,” you muttered and Leon could feel his face heat up at the fact that you were actually talking to him. You wore an annoyed look, but still, you’re talking to him. “I could’ve done that myself.”

Leon forced a grin to form on his lips. “But I bet you’re glad I did it, instead,” when you just shook your head and began to leave the kitchen, Leon stepped in front of you, refraining from grabbing your hand like he so desperately wanted to. “Wait, please.”

“What, Leon?” You asked and you sounded so exhausted, it made his heart physically break a bit. “What could you possibly have to say to me right now?”

“Everything,” he answered instantly. “I want to say everything I didn’t say the day you left. Please, give me a chance.”

You narrow your eyes and cross your arms. “It’s been months, Leon,” 

“Four,” he confirmed, watching the brief shock that flashed across your face. “And I’ve thought about you everyday for every one.”  

You give him a conflicted look that is quickly followed by a sigh. “There is nothing you can say that will fix what happened, just so you know,” 

Leon nodded and held his hand out to you, surprise filling him when you actually took it. “I just need you to know that it wasn’t your fault, and that it’s all on me,” he promised as he led you towards the front door, missing Chris’ look of relief as he passed him.

While he didn’t know the full story of what his friend did to you, he knew Ada had been involved in the reason you were no longer together. Chris was never a fan of Ada and how she treated Leon whenever the two crossed paths, and he was sure the blond felt the same way after being her little pet for years. He was sure the two of you would end up getting married, so he could not fathom how the fuck Leon had let Ada get in the way of what you and he had. 

All in all, he was sick of Leon’s bad moods, and wanted his friend to go back to normal. Well, as normal as Leon Kennedy could be. 

Leon led you out onto the front porch, and with one look from him, the two guys who were standing out there quickly scampered back into the house. Once you were alone, he turned back to face you with guilty eyes, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out what to say to you. 

He had wanted the chance to talk to you again for months, and now that you are actually here in front of him he was blanking. 

But he wouldn’t let his inability to form a proper sentence be what cost him his once chance at explaining to you why he did what he did.

An apology would be a good place to start, right?

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly as he finally allowed himself to look into your guarded eyes. You looked at him as if he were a stranger, and he supposed he kind of is now. The person you both thought he was would’ve never done what he did to you, no matter how important those fucking files were. “I’m a fucking idiot.”

You nod and lean back against the railing, crossing your arms as you stare at him with a soft glare. “I’m really glad we agree on that,”

He knew he deserved that. He deserved worse, actually, but you were simply too kind to completely go off on him, and he simply never deserved you in the first place. “That’s fair, you’re being hostile,” he mumbled and felt his skin begin to heat up under his dark leather jacket. “I know I have no right to even be talking to you right now, but I just need you to know that what I did with Ada was the worst thing I have ever done, and I’ve done a lot of bad shit in my life. None of them cost me you, though, so they’re not very high on that list.” 

You tense up at the name you’ve hated since the second you heard it, and the mention of her sent your insecurities right back to the front of your mind. “Yeah, well,” you trail off, kicking a stone that was on the porch away from you as you avoid his stare. “I hope she was worth it, because I haven’t been able to wrap my head around the fact that Ada fucking Wong is the reason the best relationship I had ever been in ended.”

“She wasn’t worth it,” he said instantly, taking a cautious step towards you. “She was never worth it, even back when I was a stupid twenty one year old and trying to start my career. She never cared, and I wasn’t smart enough to see that. I’m not smart at all. If I had half a brain I would’ve never gone back to her ever again.” 

You shake your head. “You can say that now, but it doesn’t change anything,” you mumbled. “You cheated on me with the one person I’ve been worried about since day one. You promised me that she was in your past, and that you were over her. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to believe that. Guess we’re both fucking dumb.”

“No,” he said sternly. “You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Ada hasn’t had control over my heart for a long time now, it’s always been you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day we met, and that was years ago. I know I fucked up, but I’ve never stopped believing that you’re it for me. I don’t want anyone else, and that was clear after I met you.”

Your lip was quivering just slightly and you blinked back tears, trying to stick to your promise of never crying over the man in front of you ever again. You weren’t sure how much longer you could keep that promise if you were to continue to talk to him. “Then why did you do it? Why did you ruin what we had?” You regretfully ask and quickly add, “And I want the truth, not some bullshit story you always seem to come up with. Be honest with me, Leon.”

Leon really felt pathetic at this point as he felt his heart jump a bit at the fact that you said his name. He missed you so much, he missed hearing your voice, and he missed the way his name sounded when it came out of your mouth. 

He knew his answer wouldn’t satisfy you at all, but he said it anyway, “It was just about work,”

“Oh, don’t give me that,” you say angrily, wiping under your eyes before he could see your tears. “Don’t waste anymore of my time, Leon. I refuse to spend another second with you if you’re just going to lie to me. You’ve done that enough.”

Leon shut up after that, shifting from one foot to the other and beginning to feel anxious. He shouldn’t feel this way around you. He had known you for four years and been with you for three, he should feel comfortable around you, but he supposed he lost that right, too. 

At his lack of words, you turn away and are about to head back inside when he grabs your wrist and pulls you away from the door. “Y/n, wait,” he begs, blue eyes clouding over with desperation as he stares hopelessly down at you. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. There are no words that could ever describe it. I hate that I hurt you and I hate that I fucked up the best thing I had going for me. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

You fell silent as your eyes flickered from his lips then back to his eyes. 

What if….for just one more night…what if.

“I should’ve never let you walk out that day without explaining to you that it was all my fault, just like how I should’ve never let Ada come anywhere near me. But I’m weak,” he was saying all the words he should have said to you the day he confessed that he had been seeing Ada. God, even her name made a feeling of disgust creep into his bones. “I’ve always been weak when it comes to you and my job and everything. I’m not cut out for this kind of thing, but you made me feel like I was. I can’t believe I took that for granted.” 

Your eyes burned once again and you moved to lean back against the railing when he inched closer.

“You’re everything to me, sweetheart,” he sounded so genuine, you almost thought you could believe him. He placed his hands on the railing behind you and leaned down so his face was close to yours. “You always will be. She is, by far, the biggest mistake of my life and I promise that I haven’t seen her since. I can’t stand even thinking about her-”

He wasn’t able to finish that sentence as you leaned in and pressed your mouth to his.

Just one more night. 

You just needed one more night with him, one where you could pretend you were still happy and still in love. One where you were still oblivious to the affair he was having with his ex…or whatever the fuck they were. 

Just one more night to fuck him out of your system, then you’ll never have to see him again after this. 

Leon got lost in the feeling of having your lips on his for the first time in months. His hands immediately grip your waist and his body presses right up against your own. 

He missed you more than anything else in the entire world. Every single inch of you, he craved it everyday. He was so fucking angry with himself for how he destroyed your relationship and for how he hurt you after he swore he wouldn’t. After he swore he was different. 

Really, he wasn’t far off from the assholes you had given your heart to in the past, even though he tried so hard to be. 

His fingers bunch up the fabric of your dress and he wanted to take you right there, right against the railing of his friend’s new porch, but you deserved more than that. He wanted to give you more than that. 

Your hands slide up to tangle in his hair and he never thought he’d ever get to feel your soft yet firm touch again. He couldn’t help but melt into it. 

Your lower back pressed against the cool metal and the contrast of it had you gasping against his mouth. 

Leon groaned at your quiet sound of pleasure and couldn’t deny how it went straight to his dick. Sometimes he really hated being a man who had no control over that part of his body. “Missed that sound,” he mumbled against your mouth. “Missed everything about you, pretty girl.” 

You moan into his mouth and he swallows it like the greedy man he is. “Take me home, Leon,”

It was like a switch had been flipped. He pulled away but kept his hands on your hips. Now that he had gotten a taste of you again, he never wanted to let you go. But he needed to focus on why he sought you out tonight. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he trails off, noting the brief look of embarrassment that flashed in your eyes. “I don’t want you to think that this is all I wanted out of-”

“I want it, Leon,” you cut him off, pulling him closer by his jacket. “I want you. I know you don’t want me anymore, but-”

He shook his head and pressed another kiss to your lips, against his better judgment. “I do still want you, baby,” he promised. “I want you, always.”

You bite down on your lip and don’t miss the way his eyes flicker downwards when you do so. “Then take me home,” you pressed, watching as he seems to have an inner battle with himself. 

You weren’t sure what result you wanted out of this; him agreeing and getting you off one last time, or him rejecting you of what he so gladly took from Ada. 

 Either way would provide you with some closure, you’d hope. 

A few more seconds pass before he’s moving away and taking your hand. He leads you to his car and drives the familiar road to the house you lived in with him not too long ago. 

As he guided you through the very door you walked out of the day he told you what he did, he gave you a conflicted look as he said, “Just so you know, this isn’t all I want from you. I meant everything I said before,”

You give him a blank look as you move closer to him. “I don’t care,” 

Leon looked like he was in agony as you grabbed his jacket and pulled it from his body. “Don’t say that,” he begged. “Please.”

You don’t say anything else as you pull on his hands and walk backwards until your knees hit the edge of the couch. Sitting on the armrest, you run your fingers down his toned chest and try to remember that this will be a one time thing. He wasn’t yours and this wouldn’t be like all the other times you and he had been intimate. 

“I don’t want to talk anymore,” you whisper, grabbing his wrist and guiding his hand to your chest. “So please, don’t say anything else.”

Leon could only nod, regret filling him at what he knew he made run through your head. You thought this was all he wanted, when in reality he just wanted you back. 

He leaned down and gently grabbed either side of your face as he kissed you deeply, pushing you back against the very couch you broke up with him on four fucking months ago. 

It was too much, but he couldn’t stop. He was too afraid you’d leave him forever if he did. He really was fucking weak when it came to you. He was selfish. 

He wanted you back so badly, his brain couldn’t keep up with his body. His lips were placing kisses desperately to your mouth as he felt your legs wrap around his waist. 

Leon wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to function again if you were to never talk to him after this. He didn’t even want to think about it. 

But it seemed as if you were doing the opposite. 

He kissed along your neck for a few seconds before hearing a sharp intake from you that was followed by the push of your hands against his shoulders. “Wait,” you nearly gasp, sitting up when he instantly pulls away from you, proving to you that he is at least a little better than your past boyfriends. They would have ignored you and continued touching you until they got what they wanted. 

Leon stood back and put a bit of distance between the two of you, his eyes guilty and his heart on his sleeve. “I’m sorry,” he says and you just shake your head, straightening your dress back out. 

“No, I initiated this. I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me,” you apologize and stand up. “I should go. This was a mistake.” 

Leon felt his heart break as you quickly stood up and made your way to the door. He got flashbacks to the day you left him, and he knew he wasn’t prepared to see you walk out that door for the second time. 

Maybe he didn’t have to.  

You passed by the counter and abruptly stopped, your eyes fixated on something on the granite. Leon held his breath as he watched you move towards the island, your hand reaching out to grab his keys. “Leon,” you gasped quietly, your fingers gently moving something on the chain. He knew what was on it. The ring haunted him every time he used his keys, and that was the exact reason why he attached it to the chain in the first place. 

He stayed still when you turned to look back at him, his keys held tightly in your hand.

“You kept it?” You asked in a hoarse voice. You would recognize that ring anywhere, even after only seeing it one time. You couldn’t believe he kept it instead of selling it, and you were heartbroken to discover that he saw it every day whenever he entered or left his house. 

Your question offended him, but he’d never show it. “Of course I kept it,” and yet another flashback flickered in his head. 

You weren’t sure you wanted the answer, but you asked, anyway, “Why?”

Leon hardly moved as he answered, “As a reminder,” 

And it was the truth. 

And then you broke your promise as the first of many tears began to fall. 

You wished you never met him. Never said yes when he asked you out on a date, said no when he asked you to move in. You wished you didn’t agree to come to that stupid housewarming party, because now you felt lost all over again. 

Setting the keys loudly on the counter, you turn to face him fully. “Why?” You asked, your voice angry and shaky as you tried to keep your cool. “Why did you do it? I loved you more than anything else. You saved my life, Leon. Why didn’t that mean anything to you?”

Leon felt his own eyes burn as he stepped away from the couch but made no move to walk over to you. “It means the world to me, Y/n,” he promised, his heart begging his body to take you into his arms, but he held back. “So do you.”

Your lower lip trembled as you moved to stand in front of him. “Why?” You ask again, much quieter this time around. You reach up and push on his chest just slightly, knowing damn well it wouldn’t faze him one bit. And it didn’t. “Why did you go to her?”

Leon refrained from taking your hands that were still on his chest in his. “Because she had something I needed,” he regretfully answered. 

Your brows furrow and he knew he accidentally offended you with his poor choice of words. “What, I wasn’t good enough? Didn’t put out enough for you?”

“No,” he said immediately, going against his better judgment again and wrapping his fingers around your wrists. “You’re more than enough for me. You always have been and you will be forever. The thought of doing that with her made me sick and I hate myself for it, but it was the only way she would give me the information I needed for my job.”

Your eyes softened a bit but your whole body was still guarded. “Your job you can’t tell me anything about?” 

“Yes,” he whispered, his face twisting up in agony when more tears fell from your eyes. “That’s the only reason I went to her. She had something I needed, but if I ever had to do it all over again, I’d tell her to fuck off and I’d get it some other way. I can’t stand the fact that I hurt you like that.”

You tried to process his words, but you didn’t know what to think anymore. 

You believed him, and it was clear he felt awful about all that came out of his encounters with Ada. But you also weren’t sure what he wanted out of this encounter with you. Yeah, it appeared he wanted to fix things, but who’s to say he won’t shatter your heart again? 

You couldn’t take much more. You knew that. 

“It was just for work?” You asked quietly, avoiding his eyes as he pressed your hand flat against his chest. “You’re not in love with her?”

“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head to further get the point across. “No. I don’t love her, not anymore. Maybe I never did. She never made me feel the things you did and still do. My heart was never hers. It’s yours. Even after tonight, I’ll still be yours, even if you aren’t mine.”

Your eyes were begging for a break, but the tears kept coming. “My heart is yours, Leon. It’s yours to break,” you whisper. “And you did.”

He couldn’t stop himself from taking you into his arms. He wrapped you up and let out a sigh of relief when you let him, and even held onto his waist. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he says, kissing the side of your head. “So fucking sorry. I swear, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I’d use my last breath for you, baby. You’re my entire world. You’re everything.”

“Leon,” you beg, bunching his shirt up in your fists. “Don’t do this to me again. Don’t hurt me again, I-....I can’t take it.”

“I won’t,” he promised, cradling the back of your head in his hand as if you were the most frail and fragile thing in the world. “I love you so much. It’s you who I want for the rest of my life. I never doubted that. I never want you to doubt that.”

You nod and press your head to his chest. “It’s going to take some time,” you begin, your voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe a lot of time-”

“I’ll wait forever for you,” he swore, leaning back and pressing a kiss to your forehead. He was shaking now, disbelief filling his entire being at the fact that you were letting him hold you like this again. 

You look over at his keys before meeting his eyes again. “I won’t forget about what you did, Leon,” you murmur, watching the guilt seep back into his blue orbs. “But I’m willing to forgive….I just need time.”

Leon nodded, wrapping you back up in his arms. “I’ll give you all the time you need, I promise,” he rasps. “Just don’t leave me again.”

He had no right asking you that, but he also had no control over his words at this point. 

But you just pressed your lips to the side of his neck. “Don’t give me another reason to,”

[glorious-spoon]

been broken one too many times [9-1-1 | Buck/Eddie | 1/1]

1K words | Teen arguments | angst | feelings realization | minor buck/tommy | pre-relationship buck/eddie | post-ep for 8x05: Masks

been broken one too many times [on Ao3]

"You need to stop picking at those," Eddie says without glancing up from his phone.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Buck drop his hand. "I wasn't."

"You were."

"Fine," Buck snaps. He shoves his chair back and stands, stiff jerky motions that grate on Eddie's already frayed nerves. "I'll stop picking. You know I'm not a toddler, right? I'm a grown man. I have an EMT certification. You don't have to talk to me like I'm five."

Irritation flares. It's never very far beneath the surface these days. "Okay, fine, pick at your scabs, fuck up your face, see if I care. Since you're a grown man and all."

Buck breathes out hard through his nose. Eddie glances up from the article he hasn't actually been reading this whole time and takes in the look on his face, the very clear fuck you behind his teeth.

Just say it, Eddie thinks, something ugly and eager surging up the back of his throat. Just say it. Pick a fucking fight for once. Maybe that's why he's even here, sitting in Buck's kitchen when he knows damn well he's not good company for anyone right now, including himself. Maybe he's just got to break one last thing, since that's all he seems to do these days.

Buck doesn't say it, of course, because he never gives Eddie the satisfaction of a fight when he really wants one. It makes Eddie want to be mean, makes him think of all the things he could say, all the insecurities he could throw in Buck's face that would make him flinch and recoil and maybe finally think better of letting Eddie hang around. It's not like either of them is exactly having a good time right now.

He doesn't speak. Buck scoffs again, then moves back into the kitchen to refill his coffee cup. It was already more than half-full, so Eddie knows he's just doing it so he doesn't say something he'll regret.

"You want more?" he asks, without turning. It's not exactly a peace offering, but it's close.

"No. Thanks."

Buck nods. Eddie watches him pour coffee and switch the pot off. He pulls the fridge open for a container of creamer—it's a different brand than he used to use, and Eddie wonders if that's Tommy's influence. One of many stupid little details that gets under his skin the way that everything seems to get under his skin these days. Eddie watches as he stirs it into his cup and puts it back in the fridge. He braces his palms on the edge of the counter; his shoulders shift as he breathes in, and then slowly out, and then finally turns back around.

"Sorry," he says, disarmingly rueful. "Tommy's been on me about that too. I'm a little sick of hearing it."

Eddie shrugs, strangling down his own anger. It burns beneath his skin, but that's nothing new. He doesn't need to take it out on Buck, especially not over something this stupid. He'll go home after this, and beat the shit out of the heavy bag in his garage until his knuckles hurt and his chest finally has space to breathe. He'll call his son and endure ten minutes of stilted Facetime conversation while Chris plays on his Switch and refuses to look at him. He'll cope, just like he always does. "Like you said. You're a grown man."

"Yeah, and my face itches," Buck groans, and that's a peace offering, Eddie knows, that wry little note of self-deprecation in his voice.

"It's getting better," Eddie says, and it is: after Billy Boils' makeshift funeral Buck finally went and got a prescription for prednisone like he should have in the first place, and the giant painful-looking cysts have shrunk down until they don't look much worse than a bad breakout of acne. Still not pretty, but not nearly as gruesome as they were a week ago.

"Says you. My own boyfriend still won't kiss me."

Eddie snorts. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't kiss you either with those things on your face. No offense."

"Um, offense absolutely taken," Buck says, but he's smiling a little now as he moves back to the table with his coffee cup. "Besides, that doesn't count. You don't want to kiss me the rest of the time anyway."

"That's—" Eddie stops. His fingers twitch around his coffee cup; he thinks with a sudden vague sort of panic that it's a good thing it's resting on the table right now, because if he was holding it, he'd probably drop it. Broken shards of porcelain and coffee spreading out across the tiles and the words that's not true resting as easily on his tongue as if they've always been there.

"Eddie?" Buck asks, and he becomes aware that he's just been staring fixedly at his half-drunk coffee, that his breathing is coming faster than it should. Jello, he thinks. You're jello, you're jello, you didn't say anything, you're fine, just breathe. It doesn't help. He still feels like his heart and his lungs and maybe a few other internal organs are about to crawl up the back of his throat and spew out red and bloody across the floor.

That's not true, he thinks again, with an incredulity that borders on hysterical. He wants to start laughing, suddenly.

He has to get out of here.

"Yeah," he says, and this time he's the one pushing his chair back, standing jerkily. Buck takes a step back, wary.

"You good?" he asks. His face still does look pretty bad—lumpy and swollen, blotchy red in spots. It's not even a simple straightforward attraction, which would be bad enough. Because Eddie was lying just now, wasn't he—he'd still kiss Buck, even looking like this. He'd still want to, because he's always wanted to.

Fuck.

"Yeah," Eddie says. He grabs his phone, shoves it in his pocket. "I just realized, I have to—" he has no plausible excuse on hand. Chris is in Texas. His grocery shopping is done. His house is clean. His empty life is empty of any good reason to get him out of here, but he needs to get out of here, now. "I have to go."

Buck looks like he wants to keep pushing, but Eddie doesn't give him the chance. He scoops up his keys, moves quickly toward the door, pulls it open.

"I'll see you around, Buck," he says, halfway over his shoulder, and pulls it shut behind him before Buck can answer.

He doesn't feel he starts breathing again all the way down the stairs.

[megalony]

Disgrace

This is an Eddie Diaz imagine requested by Anon, I hope you like it and this is what you were hoping for. Any feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@butlegendsneverdie@langdonzvoid@jennyggggrrr@rogmeddows@radiob-l-a-hblah@rogertaylorsbitontheside@chlobo6@rogertaylors-lipgloss@sj-thefanthefan@omgitsearly@luckytrashgooprebel@scarsout@deaky-with-a-c@killer-queen-ofrhye@bluutac@vousmemanqueez-blog@jonesyaddiction@milanosaurus@httpfandxms@saint-hardy@7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls@mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway

911 Masterlist

Summary: When the school calls and asks (Y/n) to collect Chris after a fall, she ends up having a row and calling Eddie at work to meet her in the emergency room.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With his shoes on his feet and his rucksack hooked on his shoulder, Eddie was five seconds from walking out the front door when a voice caught his attention and stopped him in his tracks. His hand let go of the door and he pushed it shut, smiling as he spun on his heels to face his son.

"Daddy,"

"What's up bud? Didn't I say goodbye to you five minutes ago?" His voice was soft and his head tilted to the side as he looked down at his boy but he could feel his smile slipping away.

Christopher wasn't smiling, he was stood far back in the hallway near the living room, clinging onto the wooden rail Eddie had drilled into the wall so he could easily move about the house without his crutches. He was still in his pyjamas even though Eddie was sure (Y/n) had told him to get ready just before he said goodbye to him.

He had kissed Chris and hugged him and told him what time he would be back from work tonight, their usual routine if Eddie wasn't the one dropping him off to school. Had he forgotten something?

"Mummy fell in the bathroom," Chris tilted his head to the left, looking up at the ceiling for a moment while he pointed behind him towards the bathroom.

It was his routine to brush his teeth and wash his face before he got dressed but before Chris could even get in the bathroom, his mum beat him to it and practically fell in there. And now she was being sick. Chris knew if she was sick he had to get his dad.

He watched his dad's upper lip curl in panic and his rucksack dropped to the floor next to the door.

"Fuck," Eddie muttered quietly under his breath, scraping his boots against the carpet as he dashed from the door past the living room towards the hallway. When he reached Chris, he patted his shoulder and turned him in the direction of his room. "Go get dressed for me, you can brush your teeth in a minute. No one wants to be late today," He kissed Chris's head to shush his distaste at changing his routine before Eddie moved over to the bathroom.

He was expecting to find his wife on the floor cradling her arm or her foot, he was expecting her to be hurt from catching her foot on something or tripping in a hurry to get in.

Eddie wasn't prepared to find (Y/n)'s legs curled beneath her awkwardly on the bath mat, her arms loosely draped over the toilet and her head practically hanging inside the toilet. Her upper body was slumped over like she had fainted but when Eddie heard her groan, he knew she was conscious.

"Mi amor, talk to me." He crouched down beside her, arching his knees out so he was curved around her with her between his thighs. He was careful when he pulled (Y/n) up so he could look at her but their eyes barely met before (Y/n) turned back down and hurled into the toilet. All she could throw up was the water she had tried to sip this morning, anything she ate last night had come back up with vengence already.

(Y/n) felt pitiful when she cried and gasped for breath, wiping her eyes on her arm but it didn't make her feel any better and she could feel more tears replacing them anyway.

She had prayed Eddie would have been out the door when she almost pushed their son out the way so she didn't throw up on the floor. (Y/n) didn't like Eddie seeing her like this, especially not when she was now going to make him late for work. It wasn't fair.

She could feel Eddie's lips pressing against her bare shoulder and his hands slowly rubbed up and down her arms. His hum and shushes vibrated against her skin and made her shiver and when Eddie pulled her back and let her flop against his chest, she tried to smile and look up at him. They both knew her smile did nothing to calm him down, he raised his brow as if asking if that was all she could manage.

"I-it's all out,"

"That's what I'm worried about, I can see last night's lasagne made a reappearance." Eddie sighed before he leaned his arm over to flush the toilet. He cared a lot that she had thrown up last night's tea because it meant she didn't have anything left in her system. She was five months pregnant and having morning sickness like she never had with Chris. Eddie could see his wife was going to be dehydrated and if food wasn't staying down she wouldn't have any nutrients or energy left.

"Go to work baby, I'll get a shower and-"

"Don't baby me, you're burning up. Go to bed, that's an order." When he pressed the back of his hand against her temple, he clicked his tongue. She was getting a temperature and thought buttering him up would make him ignore it.

"I have to take Chris to school," (Y/n) tilted her head back on Eddie's shoulder and reached a heavy hand up to cup his cheek. When he only stared down at her with that dark, infectious, if possessive look, (Y/n) could have melted on the spot if she didn't feel so icky and uneasy.

She found the strength to loop her arms around Eddie's neck and he took the hint, grabbing her hips to pull her up to unsteady feet.

"Go to bed, I'll get you a drink and drop Chris off on my way to work."

Something whined at the back of her throat and she dropped her head into the crook of his neck, bringing her hand up to brush his jaw while he kissed the top of her head and slowly guided her out of the bathroom. Deep down they both knew she was in no fit state to drive Chris to school, let alone walk about the house until her stomach had settled and she managed to get some sort of fluids into her system.

There was no way Eddie was about to leave when she was in this state, he would take Chris to school and ring to check up on her when he had the time. He wasn't happy about how unwell she was and he made a mental note to call the doctor tomorrow when he was off work.

When (Y/n) flopped to sit down on the bed, Eddie stood between her legs and cupped her face, tilting her head up so she could look up at him. His thumbs brushed over her cheeks and his wet lips smoothed against her burning temple.

"Rest, mi amor. And I want you to call me before lunch so I know you're alright, if you don't I'll come home and check on you."

He was being deadly serious and they both knew it, if (Y/n) couldn't ring him or answer the phone and let him know she was alright he would panic and end up stopping by on a call to make sure she was okay. He didn't want to leave her like this but it was far too little notice to call off his shift.

"I will,"

"Good, I need to know my girls are okay,"

He trailed one hand down (Y/n)'s neck and over her arm, feeling her shiver beneath his touch until his hand landed on her slightly rounded stomach. His thumb brushed across her stomach in a slight hope to feel some movement but it seemed she was asleep.

"Alright Chris, you better be dressed bud because you're coming with me this morning and we gotta go." Eddie jogged out of the bedroom and headed over to Chris's room, peering around the door to see him just slipping his glasses on, fully dressed. "That's my boy, go do your teeth while I make mummy a drink."

He glanced down at his watch, clicking his tongue, he had ten minutes before he had to be at work and this was going to be a half an hour job.

"What about breakfast?" Chris slipped his hands into his crutches and walked towards Eddie who grinned down at him.

"I fancy a Mcdonalds, what do you think?"

The widespread grin on Chris's face and the squeal he let out told Eddie he had come up with a good plan. There wasn't time for Chris's routine of scrambled eggs, toast and a homemade smoothie and Eddie knew if he tried ot make Chris eat in the car or have something different, he would panic and have a meltdown. But a Mcdonalds was always an exception, Chris would always change his routine for their pancakes and Eddie would let him get syrup all over the truck, he would deal with the mess tomorrow.

"Go clean those teeth and say bye to mummy then."

***

(Y/n) arched her back out and rested her forearms on the counter near her bottle of water that was now finally almost empty. Eddie would be pleased to know she had managed to eat a few biscuits and drink a bottle of water, none of which had come back up yet.

She had done as promised and called him around ten to say she felt a lot calmer and was up and about to try to eat. She could hear the relief in his voice and Chris had gotten to school fine, covered in golden syrup and laughing away about breakfast.

When the boys left, (Y/n) managed to lie in bed for an hour and her cold sweat wore off and when she didn't feel like she was burning up anymore, she tried to move. She sank into the bath for a while, changed into one of Eddie's button up shirts that she was starting to wear a lot recently, and tried to tidy up a little. The house wasn't as messy since it was during the week and Chris was burning up most of his energy at school and was burnt out when he came home.

It meant (Y/n) could have a resting day today and try to recouperate before she had to go and pick him up.

Looking around, (Y/n) debated whether or not to try and make something light to eat, maybe some toast to line her stomach so she could proudly tell Eddie she was alright.

A smile wormed its way onto her tired face when her phone vibrated on the counter. Was Eddie trying to make sure she ate lunch so he didn't have to come home and check on her? The smile slipped from her face and turned into a deep setting frown when she read the name. It was Chris's school.

"Hello?"

"Is that Mrs Diaz? I'm calling about Christopher,"

"Yes, is he alright?" (Y/n) could feel the dread setting in the pit of her stomach as her baby did a twist inside her. She could hear it in the woman's voice, something wasn't right with her son, something wasn't okay.

She had gotten this phone call too many times recently.

"He's had a minor fall outside during playtime and he was upset, we think it might be best if you come and take him home for the rest of the day."

"Oh God… tell him I'm on my way I won't be long I promise." (Y/n) rubbed her temple, forcing the tears back in her head as she felt her food creeping back up her throat.

"Thank you,"

With a grumble, (Y/n) hung up and threw the phone down on the counter, shouting a loud 'fuck!' as she did so. How had they let this happen again? Two weeks ago they had let him play on the climbing frame and surprise surprise, he fell and cut his knee open. Then they hadn't watched him another time outside either and he scraped his hands and twisted his ankle.

Christopher wasn't the best at walking, even when he was on his crutches he was fast but clumsy and he couldn't help it. If they didn't supervise him properly he could stumble or bump into people and he was always desperate to join in the fun with everyone else. He tried to join in what others were doing and no one stopped him.

It had to be bad if Chris wanted to come home, he was stuck on his routines and if they changed he got disgruntled and nervous. He didn't always want to come home early, he liked his classes.

(Y/n) stormed down the hallway and burst into the bedroom, looking around for something else to wear. She couldn't go collect Chris dressed like this.

Ripping off her/ Eddie's shirt since the curtains were closed, (Y/n) grabbed her bra and hooked it on before she pulled Eddie's shirt back on after a second thought. She didn't have time to look for a blouse or a dress or something more fitting, it would have to do. Her tight black trousers were the first ones she could find in the drawer but when (Y/n) tried to pull them over her stomach and tuck Eddie's shirt in, the zipper and buttons wouldn't do up.

"For God's sake!" She was in a rush now. She yanked the shirt out and pulled it down, thankful it covered her bum and crotch so no one would see her trousers couldn't do up.

She could feel tears welling up in her eyes when her head went dizzy and the water crept back up her throat.

After throwing up her last mouthful of water in the toilet, (Y/n) stumbled down the hall and threw her phone in her bag and grabbed her keys. She stuffed her feet into her flat shoes and headed out the door. She had to go and pick up her son.

It was almost a fifteen minute drive to the school and (Y/n) was tense the entire ride, keeping her hand pressed against her mouth whenever she thought she was going to throw up again. She had to keep it together, she had to drive and be well enough to look after Chris. If he wanted to come home he was going to surely have a meltdown at some point and he would be unsettled.

He would want and need a lot of comfort and loving, (Y/n) couldn't be sick when she had to look after her son. Chris always came first.

"I'm here to collect Christopher Diaz," (Y/n) blinked away the tears welling up from how lightheaded and uneasy she felt. She planted her hand down on the counter to prop herself up and tightened her other hand around her bag strap.

She didn't look her best, in one of Eddie's shirts with the sleeves awkwardly fumbled up past her elbows and her hair in a messy bun at the back of her head. And she was sure the receptionist could see she looked far less than her best or her usual self.

"Yes, he's just this way. If you'll follow me,"

(Y/n) followed the stout lady past reception, down the hall and into a quiet corridor with a few small meeting rooms and offices rather than classrooms. They never usually kept Chris waiting down here for her, he waited in his class or at reception for her.

Why had they brought him out here?

Something churned in her stomach and her heart jumped into her throat when the lady led her down to the medical office.

"Mummy!" The relief was clear in Chris's voice but so was the pain and the yearning and the fact that he had been crying for a while.

But when his mum saw him, a fire lit up in her eyes and her body went rigid. What had they done to her baby boy? Chris was sat slumped on the medical bed, his shaking hands itching up and down his legs, a habit he did when he was anxious and didn't know what to do with himself. His glasses were hanging round his neck, presumably since he had been crying.

What caught (Y/n)'s keen eye was the school nurse stood by the bed with a wet towel pressed against the right side of Chris's forehead just around his hairline. There were smudges of blood on his cheekbone, his neck, it was stained onto his school top and his right elbow was scraped and they hadn't even bothered to clean it up for him or even give him a plaster.

"What happened?" Her voice was stern and low and she dropped her bag to the floor and moved over to her son.

He curled his arms around her waist, buried his face into her chest and whimpered quietly. He held her so tightly that he made her shake too. (Y/n) gently took the towel away from his head but Chris felt her sharp intake of breath when she looked down at his head.

He had a deep gash down his forehead that extended up two inches into his hair that was wet so it could be patted down and parted to see the damage. Why didn't they tell her how bad this was? Why had they given him a limp paper towel when this was clearly going to need stitches? How incompetent was this place?

"He was playing with some other children at recess and he fell, he hit his head quite hard on the cement lip separating the field and the playground."

"Quite hard?" (Y/n) repeated, turning to the receptionist and blinking in utter disbelief.

"I'm sorry?"

"He hit his head 'quite hard'? Are you fucking blind, he needs stitches!" (Y/n) couldn't control the shaking that set in her bones or the way the baby started to do summersaults in her abdomen and made her feel sick. Even Chris whimpered and burrowed deeper into her chest, nuzzling his nose against her bump.

"Mrs Diaz, please calm down… we know Christopher is unsteady on his feet but-"

"No, don't you dare tell me to calm down you incompetent woman. I was told he had a minor fall, I wasn't informed my son had cracked his head open and needed stitches. And what do you call this limp disgrace?!"

Moving her hand, (Y/n) grabbed the paper towel that was soaked with blood and water. How on Earth did they think that would help Chris? A wet towel wasn't going to take away the pain, it wasn't going to stem the bleeding or keep the skin pressed together. It was going to inflame his headache.

The receptionist gasped and took a step back when (Y/n) threw the useless paper towel towards her and watched it drop to the floor.

"A paper towel? No gauze, no antiseptic to clean the wound-"

"Mrs Diaz this is unacceptable-"

"Yes it is! My husband came down here a week ago and told you specifically that Chris needs to be watched and helped and what have you done? Do not expect him back here again. Expect a complaint to the school board. I'm taking my son to A&E."

(Y/n) could feel her nails piercing through the palms of her hands when she unravelled Chris from her stomach so she could grab her bag.

This was disgusting. They had been told hundreds of times that Chris needed supervision, that he didn't always understand that he could hurt himself when he tried to play with the other kids. Chris didn't have danger awareness and he didn't like asking for help unless it was from family.

They hadn't been watching him and he had hurt himself, badly. And they didn't even try to help patch him up at all. Now on top of being ill and having to collect Chris early which was going to disrupt his routine, (Y/n) was going to spend the afternoon down in A&E to get him patched up. It was lucky she would soon be seeing a doctor because (Y/n) could feel her own blood pressure rising through the roof right now.

"Mummy?"

"Come here baby, we're leaving now."

She grabbed his backpack and put it on her other shoulder before she wound her arms around Chris's waist and picked him up. There was no way he was walking out of here in this state, she would carry her baby boy to the car and try to comfort him after this idiotic parade.

Her back started to strain when she straightened up with the bags on her shoulders, the baby weighing down on her abdomen and now Chris perched high on her hip, but she didn't care. Her son curled his legs around her waist, whimpered into her neck and bound his arms as tight around her as possible like he was afraid something bad would happen if she let him go.

She grabbed his crutches with her free hand and had it in mind to hit the receptionist with them on the way out but she refrained. She walked out of the room with her eyes anywhere but at the two snotty women who would be reported as soon as (Y/n) got home tonight.

(Y/n) pressed her lips against Chris's curls when she walked out of the reception as slowly as she could so she didn't drop him or any of their things.

It was usually Eddie who carried Chris, he had told Chris now that (Y/n) was pregnant she was already carrying a baby around with her and therefore couldn't carry him as well, but that didn't matter right now. Eddie wasn't here to scold her and their son needed as much comfort as he could get.

"I'm sorry mummy."

"What for, baby?"

"Stain shirt now, a-and I fell… wanted to go home." He pulled his head back enough to look at (Y/n) but his frown softened when she kissed his nose, and then his cheek twice.

"You don't have to be sorry, for anything. It isn't your fault you fell over, but we do have to go to hospital to get it checked out, okay?"

"Okay,"

When she finally reached the car, (Y/n) dropped her bag and the crutches and juggled the keys so she could strap Chris in his car seat in the back. She didn't have time to mess about and move his seat up front, they had to go.

When he was strapped in, (Y/n) looked around the car and then in her bag but all she had was a pack of wipes which wasn't going to do much good. she kneeled in the footwell and leaned over him to gently clean his elbow before she dared to touch his head. He cried out and curled back in the seat, biting his thumb as he frowned and started to cry even as she kissed his head and gently shushed him.

"I know baby, I'm sorry. Try and keep this on it until we get there," (Y/n) handed him a clean wipe but she knew he wasn't going to press it to his head, he was going to fiddle with it for something to occupy himself until they got there.

(Y/n) hastily dumped everything in the car and got in, clipping her phone into the holder and pressing Eddie's icon. She prayed he would answer, he said he would try if she called because she hadn't been well today.

"Mi amor, how do you feel? Have you managed to eat anything?"

"Eddie baby, we have a problem," (Y/n) turned on the radio for Chris so he wouldn't pay attention to what she and Eddie were about to talk about.

"What's wrong, are you okay?" The panic was clear in Eddie's voice and (Y/n) hated worrying him at work, she didn't know if he was just about to go out on a call or if he was coming back from one. She wasn't sure what he was doing or if he was meant to be answering the phone right now but she had to talk to him.

"It's not me, I've just picked Chris up from school… baby I gotta take him to A&E, I don't wanna ask but c-could you meet us there? Would Bobby be okay with that?"

"What happened?!"

"They weren't watching him and he fell, he's cracked his bloody head it needs stitches. And that bloody reception woman… she didn't tell me that, she just asked me to come pick him up. We can't keep doing this if it was any worse-"

"Mi amor calm down, you've already picked him up? You're not well, you shouldn't even be going out, fuck! I'll meet you at the hospital in ten minutes and you can explain it all to me there, okay? But don't worry, he's not going back to that place again."

Eddie racked his fingers through his hair but he couldn't stop himself from colliding the heel of his boot out against the locker in front of him, earning a large dent in the metal.

He shouldn't be getting a phone call from his wife saying she was ill but had to go and take their son to the hospital. When Chris was at school he was their responsibility and that meant they should look after him and watch him closely and attend to him if he hurt himself.

They didn't get to call the parents and admit they didn't do their job and didn't want the hassle of helping Chris when he was hurt. He didn't go to school to be left unattended and wind up getting hurt.

If Eddie left now he would get to the hospital either just before or right after (Y/n) did, depending on how far from the school she was. He knew Bobby wouldn't bat an eyelid at him going when he explained why. Bobby was good like that, he understood family matters, he wasn't annoyed when Eddie came in late this morning. He knew Eddie would always pick up an additional shift or stay late to make up his hours if needed.

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) tilted her head down until she could nuzzle her face into Chris's shoulder. She continued to slowly shift their weight from foot to foot, leaning and swaying left to right to try and keep him calm and settled but she could feel him starting to panic.

He had his arms loosely draped around her neck and she could feel his jaw clicking against her shoulder as he mumbled a few quiet noises every now and then.

When she went to the reception desk in the emergency room, (Y/n) had told them Chris had CP and autism and therefore wouldn't be okay waiting. She had moved to stand near the entrance doors out the way of everyone else who was sat muttering, crying and demanding to be seen. There were too many sensory overloads here for her to sit with Chris on her lap. He would have a meltdown.

Whereas if she stood in the corner and rocked him in her arms, despite the growing ache in her back and stomach, it kept him calm.

The receptionist had been very understanding and she could see it wouldn't help to wait when Chris had gone over an hour with his gash that hadn't been treated or cleaned yet. They wouldn't make him wait long.

"Daddy," Chris's voice was tired and strained but he smiled when his dad came into his sight.

Relief swarmed through Eddie like a wildfire when he ran through the main entrance and his eyes instantly set on his family. He bolted over to them, breathless and panting with his arms stretched out just as (Y/n) turned around to see him.

He curled his arms around them both, one arm tight around (Y/n)'s waist and the other wrapped around Chris and he pulled them both into his chest. As if trying to stuff them into his heart and keep the safe. His lips pressed longingly to (Y/n)'s forehead and he could feel her shaky breaths fan against his neck.

When he was sure his heart had calmed down and the panic started to dwindle, Eddie pulled back and moved to cup Chris's face in his hands so he could assess the damage. His lip curled up in distaste and his eyes narrowed, filling with sorrow at the state of his son's head.

"Oh buddy, that's bad," Eddie kissed his head, feeling his curls brushing against nose. "What were you doing?" There was no blame or anger in his voice at all, only sympathy and concern.

"Playing on field, it hurts daddy." Chris leaned his face into Eddie's touch, trying to fight off another wave of tears. One moment he was trying to run with Adam and Leo on the field and the next thing he knew, he was screaming on the floor with blood trickling down the side of his face. He didn't even feel the pain in the graze on his elbow, all he could feel was the splitting headache burning behind his eyes and across his temple.

"Christopher Diaz?"

"Here we go look, you'll be patched up in no time. Come here,"

(Y/n) adjusted Chris in her arms so Eddie could carefully pick him up and carry him instead and as soon as he was out of her arms, she had to click her back into place. Chris instantly nuzzled himself into Eddie who curled his free arm around (Y/n) and guided them down the hall towards the doctor calling their name.

When they got in the small treatment room, Eddie sat down on the end of the bed in the centre of the room. He perched Christopher on his lap and kept his arms around his waist while (Y/n) pulled up a chair and sat next to them. She rested her arms on Eddie's thigh and rubbed her hand up and down Chris's arm. They both knew this wasn't going to go down well.

"I'm Doctor Abbot, can you tell me what happened?" She looked down at Chris with a kind smile but he didn't pay attention.

He wasn't in a talking mood anymore, he was starting to shut down because he knew what was going to happen and he knew however she helped his head, it was going to hurt. He wrapped his arms around Eddie's middle and pressed the left side of his face into his dad's chest, basking in the warmth as he closed his eyes tight.

"He fell in the playground, the school didn't clean it very well and I tried but I couldn't do much,"

"Okay, I'm going to take a quick look,"

She pulled up a stool and sat down in front of them. Her movements were slow and gentle as she carefully tilted Chris's head down so she could look at the gash. Her fingers parted his curls and when she pressed the pad of her finger down in various places, Chris hissed and jolted.

"Is your vision blurred? Can you see alright?"

"I can see," He whispered in a soft voice, pushing back into Eddie suddenly when the doctor flashed a light across his eyes to check his pupils.

"That's good, I need to clean your head, then I can see how best to fix it."

"You're doing so good baby," (Y/n) encouraged and took Chris's hand so she could kiss it and hold it close to her chest. She smoothed her thumb across the back of his hand as her other hand gripped Eddie's leg.

They both watched intently as the doctor pulled over a tray and got a pair of tweezers. She dunked some gauze into a bowl of antiseptic and using the tweezers, very carefully dabbed it across the wound. They had to be sure there was no dirt or grit in the cut and prevent any infection before they closed it up.

Chris pinched Eddie's back and dug his nails in every time the cloth dabbed at his head. His nose twitched and his face tensed and tightened until he cried out and squeezed Eddie so tight he coughed breathlessly.

"Alright, it's okay, shh." Eddie rubbed his hand up and down Chris's arm but his eyes focused on the cut. It wasn't deep enough to see any muscle or his skull but it was more than just a graze or a little slit. And when the doctor dripped some saline over the cut to thoroughly cleanse it, Chris screamed.

"That's the worst part done, Chris, you're being a brave patient today." Doctor Abbot got some clean gauze to wipe away the saline and dried patches of blood before her attention moved to the couple.

"I think it would be best to glue the wound rather than stitch it. I can give him a small pain relief, he's not allergic to anything?" She danced her eyes across his notes before she looked back at them for confirmation.

"If that's what's best, he's not allergic to any meds."

"I need someone to push the skin together tight so I can apply the glue… am I right in assuming he wouldn't let a nurse do that?"

A silent exchange passed between Eddie and (Y/n) before they both shook their heads. Chris was perfectly fine talking to strangers and getting to know new people, he enjoyed conversing and playing. But this was different, if someone strange walked in and hurt him to try and help him, he would have a meltdown. It wouldn't help him trust people in the future and it would frighten him.

"Are you okay holding his head?" She looked at (Y/n) who nodded; she was going to have to be okay doing that because Eddie was going to need to hold him down. "I'll go get it set up,"

Eddie gently shifted Chris round so his back was tucked up against Eddie's chest, making it easier for the doctor when she came back in. The more Chris tried to tuck into his dad's chest, the less likely he would be to cooperate and get his head seen to. He was upset, tired and in pain and he wanted to go home. He didn't want to be here.

"Baby, you have to stay still now, it won't take long and you're going to get some medicine to make you feel better," (Y/n) kissed his hand and gently moved his arm so it was laid out on her lap when the doctor came back in with a trolley.

A silent look between Doctor Abbot and (Y/n) made it clear telling Chris about the needle wasn't going to be a good idea. So (Y/n) smoothed her hand up and down his arm and blocked his view so the doctor could easily and effectively push the needle into the back of his hand and give him a dose of pain relief.

By the time he cried out and started to twinge and pull back, it was all done.

"Good lad, that wasn't bad, was it?" Leaning down, Eddie kissed the back of his head and gently jostled him up and down on his knees. He kept his arms bound around Chris's waist, saying nothing when Chris gripped his forearms tight in anticipation of what was about to happen.

"Chris, I'm going to show your mum how to hold your head, then when I've put the magic glue on, everything will be done."

"Don't want to,"

"I know bud, but you need to be brave for us. I've got you,"

Chris snapped his eyes closed and braced back into Eddie's chest, starting to tremble at the prospect of what they were about to do. He tensed so hard he started to shake so Eddie held him a bit tighter and started to repeat one of his favourite stories that Eddie now knew off by heart. He had to distract him somehow.

"Okay, fingertips pushed against the skin like this, stay very still and tight."

With a deep breath, (Y/n) stood up and loosened her fingers before she tried to copy the doctor. She pressed the end of her fingers against either side of the cut and pushed them together. Wincing when she heard Chris cry out beneath her. The skin had to be close and held for a while so the glue could set and bind them together.

It looked like craft paste that came out of the tube and slicked up and down the cut like cement precisely and carefully being poured into a crack in the floor. The sight made (Y/n)'s stomach churn and she wanted to be sick but she braced her hands and tensed her arms to stay absolutely still.

It was hard when Chris started to scream.

His nails punctured into Eddie's arms and created long, bloodied scratches. He started to push his back into Eddie's chest, bashing back and forth, desperate to get out of his hold and make the pain go away. Eddie's calming voice and (Y/n)'s quiet pleas did nothing to calm him down, all he could do was sob and scream for them to stop.

When he started to swing his legs and kicked (Y/n) in the thigh, she bit down into her lip and hobbled to stand just behind Eddie's shoulder. Her stomach pressed into his bicep and shoulder to stay out of the firing line and she tried to keep hold of his head, the glue still needed to set.

"Shh, buddy it's all over, you've done it. Shh."

Eddie kept his right arm pressed tight into Chris's lower chest to pin him back into his chest and he moved his left hand to cup Chris's cheek. He leaned over his shoulder and kissed his cheek, pressing kiss after wet kiss to his skin to try and soothe him and give him the comfort he needed to calm down.

"That's it, good boy. You've done so well."

[notsoattractivearenti]

Surprise x2 (Christian Pulisic x Reader)

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: few cursing words; mentions of pregnancy; possibly can cause baby fever lol. nothing else but fluff fluff fluff! 🥰

A/N: This was supposed to be the first fic I posted, but I just finished it after 2 weeks! Heavily inspired by the video above lol (not the gender reveal, but Christian's reaction). Written especially for dad!Puli nation 🥰🫶 Feedbacks would be appreciated!

---

“Shit, it’s 6 fucking AM!” you quietly said to yourself as you just woke up and already feeling extremely nauseous. You got up and rushed to the bathroom because you felt like you were so close on throwing up on the bed. Your husband, Christian woke up to the sound of you throwing up, which was pretty loud. He immediately got off the bed, grabbed some tissues and a glass of water from the bedside table, and went to the bathroom.

You were sitting on the floor, facing down the toilet, and you heard him coming over. You were looking up at his tired-yet-worried face as he said “Y/N love are you okay? Do you want me to get any meds or anything else? I also got you water in case you need it.” You were feeling too weak to say anything so you just nodded, then threw up again. He was there the whole time holding your hair up, caressing your back, and even said “sorry baby” multiple times. You were feeling extremely sick and so worried, so his presence made you felt a lot better. 

“Okay, I’m done,” you said as you wiped your mouth with a tissue, “everything inside my stomach is pretty much gone now, ugh.” He helped you stood up, you flushed the toilet and he asked, “what happened?” 

“I have no idea. Just got nausea out of nowhere.” He then nervously said something that made your heart skipped a beat: “Y/N, I don’t know but um, do you think uh, it’s possible that… You’re pregnant again?” 

You suddenly remembered that you did go through the same thing before finding out you were pregnant with Maxine, your firstborn. You froze for a second then responded, “Fuck. Chris, I need to get a pregnancy test like right now.” 

“I’ll get them for you, come on.” You both went back to your bedroom, then Christian grabbed his jacket and car keys, and kissed your forehead before he left. You had mixed feelings about the possibility of being pregnant again but you started questioning yourself: are you ready for another child? You are a great mom to Max and you love her very much, but going through pregnancy and taking care of a baby were no joke. You felt like you needed more time to do it all over again, but now it seemed like you weren’t given enough time. You and Christian just started talking about trying for baby number 2 — now that Maxine is already 2 years old — but somehow you might have ended up conceiving before you two were even actively trying.

While you waited for Christian, you went to Max’s room to wake her up. You opened the door and saw your beautiful daughter who was still asleep while cuddling her beloved stuffed penguin Christian got her after she was born, which she named Fuzzy Penny. You sat on her bed, and shortly before you woke her up you looked at her and thought how lucky you are to have her in your life. 

Max was a surprise baby, since you and Christian didn’t plan on having a child before you two got married yet you got pregnant with her 3 months after you got engaged. You remembered how scared you were, because you didn’t think you were ready even though you wanted to keep your baby, and Christian convinced you that everything was going to be alright. You’re so glad that he was right, because you couldn’t and don’t want to imagine your life without Max. Even though it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, she without a doubt has made your life so much better than you thought it could ever be. It felt like you just gave birth to her yesterday and now she is probably going to be a big sister.

“Good morning my little angel,” you whispered to her little ear as you gently kissed her head and caressed her arm, “time to rise and shine!” She slowly opened her eyes, looked up to you, then gave you a big, bright smile and softly said “Mommy!” Her little voice has never failed to make you smile. You were filled with worries before and thanks to Max, now you felt at peace. “How was your sleep? Was it good?” Max nodded her head while smiling, then grabbed her shoulder-length wavy hair and said to you “messy hair mommy.” “You have the cutest messy hair honey,” you laughed, then you picked her up “let’s get you out of this bed, and come find Daddy!”

Christian had just come back and as he entered the living room, Max spotted him and shouting “DADDY!!!” His eyes widened when he saw her, “Oh hey look who’s awake! Good morning my princess!”

He bent down to pick her up, wrapping her around his arms. She rested her head on Christian’s shoulder, had her arms around his neck, and Christian gave her kisses on the top of her head – he knows she loves it when he does that, and of course he loves doing it too. 

You couldn’t help but smile, thinking how beautiful that moment was even though you have seen it many, many times. You felt like there were millions of butterflies in your stomach, so in love with the man who is not just the best husband, but also the best father in the whole wide world. 

You were so caught up in the moment you forgot that you needed to take pregnancy test, but then Christian reminded you as he handed the bag over. “Honey, I wasn’t sure how many tests you may need but I got like 4 or 5 in there. I’ve checked all expiration dates so you’re good.” 

“Woah, thank you,” as you took the bag, “I’ll take them all right now.” He smiled, nodded and mouthed “I got you”. 

You went to the bathroom to took all the test. “Okay,” you sighed, “let’s get this over with.” You waited anxiously until you got the results. You heard the timer sound on your phone, meaning 2 minutes had passed. You closed your eyes and took 3 deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down before you saw the results. 

Two red lines. “Pregnant”. You couldn’t believe what you saw. You gasped, and stood still for a minute, trying to process everything. You’d gone through this before, but it still caught you off guard somehow. You were nervous, but now you have positive results, you didn’t feel that way anymore. You’re going to have another child, and you felt good about it. Even though you weren’t sure you were ready, at least you knew you can count on your loving husband for everything, especially much-needed support.

Now that you’d spent some time in the bathroom, you finally felt ready to tell your husband he's going to be a dad for the second time. As you walked to the kitchen, you heard Max and Christian laughing. You then took a peek to see what it was all about, and you saw they were cooking breakfast. He was making Max’s favorite breakfast: pancakes with berries and chocolate sauce – he couldn’t cook before, but the day you two found out you were pregnant with Max he started learning how to cook because he wanted to be able to make homemade meals for his family. You saw they were having so much fun cooking those pancakes. When he was cooking, he held Max on his hip, while flipping the pancakes with his other hand. The kitchen was messy, and they were covered in flour – you could tell they were having a lot of fun while making the batter. He shook the pan for a bit, lifted it, then flipped over the pancake. In awe, Max laughed, clapped her hands in excitement and told him “good job Daddy!”

You didn’t want to interrupt their moment, so you just stood where you are until they noticed you. “Oh hey, there’s Mommy! Come here, we made pancakes!” As you approached them, Christian set up the table with Max’s help – she was still attached to his hip, of course ­– then sat her down on the chair.

“Wow, these pancakes look so good! You two made the best pancakes in the world!” you complimented them. Max gave you a big smile then looked to her dad “Daddy did good.” Christian was blushing, kissed her cheek and said to her “I did good because I have the cutest little helper.” 

Before he sat down, you softly grabbed his arm, and you whispered, “Honey, seems like we got another surprise...” You saw his eyes lit up as you said those words. He looked at you as he responded, “Oh my God, Y/N, you’re really pregnant???” You grinned and nodded. 

He gave you the biggest hug and was smiling ear to ear. He’s always loved being a father, and now he’s going to be a father of two. You could feel his overwhelming joy, which brought you back to the day you found out the first time. Still hugging you, he told you “I love you so much, Y/N! Thank you for giving me two best surprises!” 

Before he released the hug he kissed you on the lips, then came towards Max, hugged her and told her in his excited, high-pitched voice, “Max! You’re gonna be a big sister!”

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14

[writerofadream]

Fortune favors the Bold ⛓

TDI!Duncan x Juvie Bestfriend! Reader ⛓

Chapter Seven: Dodgeball to the death

You all had been sleeping absolutely terribly the past couple days because Harold fucking snores. So at breakfast, Duncan was trying to eat but could barely move, and you had passed out in your porridge. "Duncan, you look like death dude." Chris's overly cheerful voice rang out.

"Sick it." Ducan hissed before putting his head down on the table. Courtney explained their predicament.

"Wow, four nights without sleep. How much is she hurting dude, how much are you hurting dude? I kinda want to test how far it takes to break, you both." Chris smiled like a maniac. "Want to find out?" Duncan hissed.

Instinctively your whole group hid under the table, getting used to Duncan's anger. But one small snore coming out of your mouth quieted him.

Then Harold walked in with a drawn on mustache on his face causing the place to erupt with quiet giggles.

"That was me!" You raise your hand lazily. Heather began to taunt your team, causing you to throw a knife at her pinning her hair to the wall. "Get your attack dog under control." Heather yelled terrifed trying to get her hair unstuck.

"She don't bite." Duncan waved her off. You smiled weakly flipping her off. "Yes she do!" Heather screamed.

Chris walked in then. "Listen up campers, your next challenge starts in ten minutes, and be prepared to bring it." He announced as you tipped over onto Duncan passing out.

-----

You were playing dodgeball. Everyone had already gotten to the little ring, but Duncan was trudging behind. Once he walked inside he pointed at you looking mildly pissed off. "If you wake me up, it'll be the last thing you do, L/N." You rolled your eyes. Whenever Duncan was tired he got angry.

"This is all your fault, you know?" Courtney hissed at Harold.

Chris explained the rules making it seem harder then it needed to be. You were okay at dodgeball, it was basically like a prison riot. Chris gave you one minute to discuss strategies. Apparently Courtney could read your mind because she said-

"There is no way we are having Little Miss Crazy play. She'll kill them and get us disqualified." The girl whined and you growled. "Don't call me crazy." You hissed dangerously pissed as you stalked over and sat down by Duncan.

The games went on and your team got decimated by the Screaming Gophers. You weren't surprised. Yet, Courtney persisted with her idea of not having you play. So you watched.

You watched as Harold got his ass beat by LeShawna, Heather beat Tyler's ass, Courtney beg for a disqualification, DJ hit poor Gwen, it was a very interesting expierence.

Cody pulled a wild ass move out of his fucking ass. It looked impossible but he used the ball as a boomerang. Everyone was getting pissed on your team, yet Courtney persisted.

You played with Duncan's hair as he slept, and he subconsiously leaned into your hand, mumbling in his sleep. Whenever the other was close, the nightmares seemed to stop. It was... helpful. So when everyone was out on your team... again. Courtney gave this speech. "We need someone, tough, someone who wants to beat the other team to death." Everyone looked at Duncan and you.

"He'll kill us if we wake him up." DJ whispered his fears. "He won't kill us... I hope. He wants to win just as much as us." Courtney sighed not looking so sure. "Now wake him up, Y/N." She ordered. "Why me?" You laughed. "Your the only one who'd stand a chance against him in a fight." She explained and you shrugged. Made sense.

You pushed Duncan off the bench and he stood up growling. "You better have a good reason for pushing me off the bench, pincess." He nearly yelled in your face making you take a step back. "We're down two to zero. If we lose I'm going to make sure it's your ass that gets voted off, sunshine." You yelled back, making him retreat now. He may be your bestfriend, but your fucking Y/N L/N, you don't back down for shit.

He finally realized what was happening around you. "This is dodgeball, why don't you just play, you destroyed the boys last year at the anual game?" He sounded more confused then mad now. "That what's I'm saying, but miss goody two shoes thinks I'll lose my shit." You pointed at Courtney. "That's what I'm here for?" He pointed at himself.

"That's what I said!" You laughed.

"My only condition is that Y/N's co-captain. We both play, or no one plays." He explained to Courtney who nodded. "Here's a stratagey I picked up on our first visit to juvie."

You laughed remembering the event.

"It's called: rush the new guy." Also known as the first time Duncan got his ass beat in juvie rendering him with a broken collarbone and a double concussion. In shorts terms, you all converge on one person while playing dodgeball.

Soon enough you were dominating the game.

It had gotten to the point where it was 2 wins to 2 wins. This was the final game, to decide who won. It went from five players on both sides, to four, three, then two. It was a neck and neck game.

Then it was Harold vs Owen. "Well I can't say it was nice knowing him." You muttered. "Good night, Harold." Duncan sighed squeezing your hand.

But somehow the ginger dodged every ball thrown at him. "Where'd you learn to do that?" Geoff asked the boy. "Figure skating." He replied proudly. "Figures." Duncan shaked his head. Courtney told Harold he was going to have to catch the next ball thrown at him.

Which miraculously, he did.

Your team erupted into cheers. People hugged, but Duncan twirled you before bringing you back into his arms. "Wake me up again and I'll fight you, L/N." He whispered smiled kissing the top of your head. "I'd like to see you try, tiger." You smiled kissing his cheek causing the boy to blush.

You guys were getting closer by the second.

---

|Trending on X right now|

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#covid19

#itdontbitememeswithduncanandy/n

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"Nice dodge skater nerd." Duncan 'complimented' Harold as you and DJ carried him on your shoulders cheering his name.

----

If you had asked Courtney, or the twin bestfriends, or Bridgette where you had fallen asleep they would've lied straight to your face and said in a bathoom.

If you had asked Geoff, Harold, or DJ where Duncan had fallen asleep they would've lied and said by the lake. In reality there was two people fast asleep their bodies entangled on Duncan's bed.

Duncan layed flat on his back with an arm as an extra pillow, and your head layed out on his chest, your hair falling down your back. You both were fast asleep, he had his hand sleepily playing with your hair twirling it around in his fingers and you had your hands attached to his shirt twisting it in your sleep.

Duncan wouldn't mind.

He never minded when it came to you.

[missprincesse345]

His island queen 🌺🌺

Summary: what happens when the elite & rest of the Aew roster meet the only other important person in Chris Jerichos life in the most surprising way.

Pairing: Chris Jericho x younger wife reader ❤️

Warnings: mostly fluff

Y/n fatu ( face claim India Westbrook)

Her tattoos: left hand

Right hand:

Back piece:

Pov:

For the past couple weeks going into the new year Jericho & the elite have been dealing with the Bcc’s unruly actions against them since Chris beat yuta for the roh championship then the elite beating mox,Claudio and Bryan for the trio’s belts. The feud has been getting worse by the second from sneak attacks to down right intentionally causing physical harm not only to them but everyone else randomly for no reason it was getting ridiculous, which is why they challenged them to a street fight on rampage 2 weeks from now sick of their tactics.

“ This has to stop!!! Just because we beat them clean at the beginning of the new year those pricks wanna throw hissy fits and attack us left & right then going around randomly injuring others on the roster” Nick Jackson said snarling sitting down the boys and Chris just got back from their 5 man tag match against United empire ,kip sabian, and Ricky starks. Which of course ended in another attack by the bcc after the boys that got slightly bloody resulting in some of them getting stitches no thanks to that damn screwdriver they’ve been using.

Wincing putting the ice pack on his shoulder “ agreed this shit ends after new week can’t afford anyone else getting injured or attacked by them” kenny said closing his eyes all of them understand what it’s like to lose championships every now and then but what the bcc is doing isn’t it. “ especially coming from me being the first victim *points to eyepatch * try explaining to your 2yr old why daddy is wearing a eyepatch I’m not waiting when the day comes moment we walk out and hit the ring I’m attacking” hangman said joining kenny on the other couch holding his husband lovingly.

When feud first started hangman came out to save Kenny and the bucks from a beat down only for the bcc to hold him down and stab him in the eye while the rest were tied up let alone to beat up to help. “ can’t blame you besides they’ve had the belts for to long, Chris you good dude been quiet since we came back?” Matt said looking over at Jericho who was packing his bags silently fuming completely in his own world “ huh ? * looks over his shoulder * physically no mentally I’ll be fine *sighs * okay no I’m not okay!!!” He growled.

“ who the hell do they think they are just because regal trained them then of leaving them high dry all of them are above everybody else?! No just some wannabe house of black knockoffs” Chris said it was true though especially No thanks Bryan Danielson’s hypocrite delusional nonsense and fake propaganda crap. “ Acting like they’ve never lost before doing the most over the top bullshit I’ve seen come rampage all bets are off!!! The want batshit crazy that’s what we’re going to give them those stupid idiots are in for a rude awakening” he declared as the others agreed after this street Bryan & the Bcc’s actions are going to finally catch up to them.

- 2hrs later-

Chris and y/n’s house:

Waving goodbye thanking them for the ride Chris made it home god it feels good to say that during the whole feud he always looked forward to decompressing from all of it relaxing and being wrapped in the warmth nurturing love with the one person that always brings happiness and joy to his life just when he feels like he wouldn’t find it again.

Walking up the stairs then inside locking the door behind him Chris chuckled hearing Sade playing through the house on low then the smells of delicious food filling the room he was at peace, after playing with the dogs for a little bit he walked further into the house finding the source Chris smiled fondly leaning against the wall watching his flower moving their hips to the beat her siren honey vocals matching perfectly to the music how did he get so lucky.

Y/n’s outfit (all sets made by me) :

“ Now how did I miss this little performance? Let alone my own home?” He said teasingly startling the woman a little bit before chuckling as she smiled big walking over hugging him tightly greeting him with a loving kiss.

“ we’ll if you got back earlier than you’d have still been able to catch the whole performance” the mystery woman smiled rubbing his cheek before kissing him again “ how you feeling pain level 1 to 10?” She asked looking at the small stitches on his forehead. “ 5 so not too bad but right now I’m here so that’s all that matters, mm is that what I think it is?” He said looking at the meal she was preparing. “ yes now go get cleaned up it should be done when you come back downstairs” she giggled swatting his chest playfully.

Who was the mystery woman you ask?

Well she is not only Chris’s new wife but also well known in the wrestling world as Desiree parks but most people that know her personally especially her family she’s y/n fatu , yep that’s right she’s the usos baby sister and Roman Reigns baby cousin that wrestles under new Japan wrestling/stardom.

The two met mid 2022/23 at jeys birthday to which he was invited after word got out about his divorce from his ex wife who treated him badly and cheated on the twins wanted him there getting his mind off things. And have fun little did he know he’d find love again let alone true happiness in their baby sister as if it was a soulmate like force that brought them together.

*Flashback*

Even though he wasn’t really up for getting out of the house mingling with other people Chris was actually enjoying himself quite a bit maybe this what he needed “ hey man there’s someone we want you to meet if that’s okay?” Jimmy said joining him by the bar “ sure I don’t mind” Chris replied taking a swig from his beer.

“ cool uce , hey !!! Sis c’mere!!! * y/n turns around smiling softly hearing her brother * hey Chris this is our little sister y/n” jimmy said introducing her to Chris whom became hot and bothered instantly seeing the Carmel skinned goddess standing infront of him.

“ hi Chris nice to meet you nice to finally meet from all the stories and music the twins tell me about great to see the man himself” she said her voice like honey making him snap out of his haze. “ it’s nice to meet you I’ve seen some of your work too very amazing” he smiled shaking her hand watching her face blush a little everything was going to be okay he thought.

*Flashback over*

The two have been married for almost three years now having a private ceremony in early 2023.

Handing him his plate once he came back all washed up and clean they migrated to the living room and caught each other up on everything going on since sometimes she would be wrestling while he was touring. After dinner and dessert they relaxed on the couch watching a movie just wrapped in each others embrace towards the ending Chris looked down chuckling noticing she’d fallen asleep on his lap.

Smiling softly he just traced her cheek softly how did he end up finding himself a modern Wonder Woman a woman with a simple touch could calm him down or able to always look at situations from both perspectives fixing the problem easily without any hesitation. Beats him but one thing he does know is that no matter what he’ll always protect her.

He’s gonna win for her the nights of fear & worries will be over he hated seeing her terrified crying because of the painful physical state he come home to.

2 weeks later

It’s time the night everyone had been waiting for the Bcc we’re going face their actions but most importantly Chris was going to make them for bringing tears to his wife. He had her stay in the back with Brandi & Britt watching not wanting her to get hurt very little people know about y/n & his relationship it’s not that he was afraid of what people would think Jericho just wants that part of his life private.

Cause now or day’s people can get to you any form especially in their line of work.

The match was just getting brutal at this point both teams were pulling out all of the stops yet nobody could blame them Bcc’s actions had gone to far it was time they faced the music. Jumping slightly as Chris was slammed into the tacs Y/n silently prayed to herself watching her husband scream in pain “ his gonna be alright they all are” Brandi said rubbing her shoulders in comfort “ I know * sighs * just worried i mean get it but i still get scared when he gets hurt doing matches” y/n replied with a small smile she was no stranger to these kind of matches having done a few through out her career.

“ And you’re winners of this match the Elite & Chris Jericho!!!” They announced as the arena cheered loudly the whole building shaking with excitement and applause it was over the bcc’s reign of terror was over. Y/n let out breath of relief cheering watching Chris standing tall alongside the elite in victory both knew that the win was needed , as the boys close out the show with Britt & Brandi Chris was finally going to show the world his good luck charm to the world.

“ Now as you know that through out this whole feud we conquered and fought taking down the bcc tired of being attacked let alone disrespected right?” Chris chuckled as the crowd cheered. “ thank you cause you guys never once stopped giving us that energy to keep fighting through the terror , they caused but as you can see all of these amazing hard working people in this ring have their loved ones with them right now well I have a special person here tonight with me as well” he said smirking as the crowd got excited wondering who the mysterious person was.

“ she’s literally been my rock through this whole roller coaster of pain and craziness literally has been my light for a while now and till the day i die my heart,my bestfriend and god so much more probably going to kill for outing her * crowd laughs * so with out further ado let’s give her a warm welcome” he said pointing to the ramps.

The crowd goes crazy watching y/n walk out smiling big shaking her head walking down to the ring “ it’s Desiree parks !!! The immortal goddess!!!” Taz said in shock as Tony & Excalibur agreed in complete shock.

Getting in the ring with the help of the young bucks Chris pulled her into a tight hug rocking her softly before kissing her head holding her close “ yep this beautiful woman has been with me through it all especially during the lowest months in my life but there is one special title that not only she holds but a title very close to my heart ladies and gentlemen she’s my wife!!” he said watching her blush as the boys & crowd went crazy as she held her hand up showing off her wedding ring.

“ And with that being said Tonight will forever be the most important nights of my career!!” He said handing the mic over to the announcer pulling her into a deep loving kiss while everyone cheered & wolf whistles for the couple.

No matter what came his way long as he had his island queen by his side everything would be okay.

The end ( hope you guys enjoyed it

Her theme:

Y/n’s outfit:

[latenightshoww]

zero intamacy

wanted to break a couple of hearts cause valentines day is today

For as long as she could remember, Y/N had always fallen for the wrong guy. Whether that be a handsy jerk or an inattentive listener, Y/N had always picked someone who didn’t really care about her the way she wanted them to.

But that all changed when she met Chris Sturniolo. No one had ever made her feel the way Chris made her feel. Everytime their hands brushed or he gave her that glowing smile, she felt her stomach fill with butterflies. She was completely and irreversibly smitten.

So, when Chris asked her if she wanted to go to a party with him and his brothers she immediately said yes. It would be perfect! It was Valentine’s Day and the mood of the party would give her the confidence she needed to confess her feelings to him.

Y/N heard the blare of a horn outside and she quickly rushed to put on some lip gloss, she ran outside where she saw the familiar van parked by the curb. She hopped into the car where she was immediately greeted by Nick and Matt.

“Hey,” Chris turned in his seat and smiled at her.

“Hi,” she replied, quickly shooting a smile back at him.

“Can we go now,” Nick whined, earning an eye roll from Matt, who despite being annoyed, quickly raced off into the night.

Y/N felt herself move along with the music. The house was completely red, bathing everyone in a reddish glow, several balloons were floating among the ceiling heart shaped and small in size. Plenty of people were dressed up in red and pink and some were even dressed as cupids to go along with the theme.

Y/N locked eyes with Chris across the room, he was smiling and having a good time as he danced and sung to one of his many favorite songs, Y/N felt herself smile as well.

Then a slow song came on and several couples started to dance with each other, Y/N decided this was her chance to get to talk to Chris.

She tapped him on the shoulder, “You want to dance?”

His smile slipped a little, surprised by the question but seeing the want in her eyes he shrugged and said, “Ok.”

As Chris placed his hands on her waist, she felt herself shudder. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and they began to sway to the beat. Being this close to him, she could see the faded freckles littering his face, she could smell his cologne and she smiled to herself thinking how safe she felt in his arms.

He looked at her and raised a brow, a little confused but amused, “I feel like I’m in middle school again, you know? It’s kind of corny.”

She felt her confidence slip a little but she pressed on, “Chris, can I tell you something?”

“Yeah sure what’s up,” giving her his undivided attention.

“I—I have feelings for you.”

“Oh.”

Y/N now could fully feel her confidence waver but for some reason her mouth kept moving, “You’re just like no one I’ve ever met before. You make me feel so….,” but as she said this he let go of her.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and he signed, “Y/N you know how much I care about you but I don’t feel the same way. You’re awesome and all but I only see you as a friend and I’ll only ever see you that way. Im sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.”

Y/N felt as if her skin was on fire, she could feel the thousands of eyes on her, on them. She struggled to find the words, oh god the way Chris was looking at her with pity in his eyes. She wanted to throw up, to be swallowed into the floor.

“Um ok,” was all she could bring herself to say. Had she tried to say anymore she would have burst into tears.

“Y/N—“ but she didn’t hear the rest, because she was running outside. As she felt the cool air wrap around her, Y/N felt tears slip down her face. She called an Uber and threw herself in the car the minute it arrived. She felt herself relax against the leather seats, beginning to calm down.

She felt her phone buzz and a sick and twisted part of her hoped that it was Chris, saying it was just a joke that he really did care about her and he wanted to be with her. But as she opened the notification, she was horrified at the result. It was one of those instagram accounts dedicated to exposing all the details about influencers and celebrities lives, a picture of Chris flashed crossed across the screen.

The worst part?

It was a picture of Chris in the party they had just been in, passionately kissing another girl. The post reading, “chris sturniolo allegedly kissing his girlfriend at a party?! can you say happy valentines day?!”

[trashmouth-richie]

For your two word prompt my love I give you:

Glasses

and Lights

love this so much bb love here’s a little fluffy piece for you 🧡

Eddie x Fem! Reader

W.C 811

Warning: mean Chrissy? IDK

You grab your glasses out of the muddy puddle they flew into after she had pushed you down. She, being the queen of Hawkins High, Chrissy Cunningham; if you were dumb enough to even think that highly of a rich mean girl. With her stupid perfect ponytail bobbing as she laughed with her friends, her blue whore eyeshadow glittering with the sunlight as she closed her eyes, throwing her head back in a fit of laughter. “Watch where you’re going bitch.”

You keep your eyes low as you gather the now soaked notebooks you were carrying, not wanting to give her what she wants. Not letting her see the traitorous tears accumulating in your lash line, you wipe the mud from your glasses and shove them onto your face. You can feel blood trickling through your jeans from the new scrapes on your knees.

A large hand with rings is held out in front of you. You would recognize that hand anywhere. Fingertips, calloused from playing with his band, strong from working on the weekends down at the mechanic shop, and the gaudiest rings known to mankind. Great, what the fuck did he want? You stand up on your own pushing past his grand gesture of suddenly trying to be nice. Eddie Munson was not nice. Him and his stupid, perfect, cheerleader girlfriend terrorized you all of last year. Well not so much him, as it was her. He just kind of stood in the shadows and shook his head whenever Chrissy started in on you.

“Are you alright?” Eddie asks, putting his hands around you but not touching your body, “Let me help you.”

“ ‘m fine.” You murmur as you wipe away some mud from your face.

Eddie’s eyes land on your clothes, taking in the damage. Your glasses are cracked in one of the lenses, your knees are bleeding, and your clothes are covered in mud. You hastily grab your notebooks and stuff them, mus and all, into your tattered backpack. He grabs your chin gently and twists so your cheek is facing him. A small gash is oozing blood down your face slowly. His eyes fill with a hemorrhaging fury as he stomps over to where Chrissy is standing still laughing with her army of cunts.

“Chris what the fuck?!” Eddie fumes, “when is it going to be enough for you?”

Chrissy gets a disgusted look on her face as she crosses her arms and glares up at him, “what are you actually sticking up for the freak? Cause last time I checked Munson, I drugged you out of that position years ago, but if you want to go back— be my guest.” Her snake-like smile was taunting him, she has threatened him with this more times than he could count. Nobody crossed Chrissy and got away with it. She would send her posse of jocks to beat him until he couldn’t see straight, but he simply couldn’t give a shit anymore. Watching her bully the entire school made him sick. He used to be on the receiving end of such bullying until she found out through rumors that he was keeping caged a fairly large hammer in his jeans.

Eddie turns away from Chrissy and grabs your hand gently as he leads you away, “guess I’m a freak again.”

Chrissy is shouting obscenities realizing that she was dumped in front of her friends by Eddie the freak Munson. He raises a middle finger up and gestures it towards her direction. Walking closer to you he opens the passenger door to his van and helps you in. His van smells of weed and musky cheap cologne. The back of the van is littered with amps, spare cords, pillows and blankets. His hands are wrapped tightly around the wheel as his eyes are staring straight ahead. He drives a while before even saying anything, “I’m sorry she did that shit to you, and I’m sorry it went on for that long.”

“it’s ok.” You whimper out as tears fall down your face.

Eddie glances your way and notices you’re crying, “almost there, just hang in there ‘kay?” He pulls into Forest Hills Trailer Park and pulls up to the light blue faded trailer with a rotting saggy couch on the porch. “Here we are,” he says cheerfully.

After what seems like an hour of Eddie fussing over your scraped knees and the cut on your cheek, you are the proud owner of too many bandaids and a heap of neosporin to each cut. He lights up a cigarette as you are both sitting on his bed in the messy room. He inhales deeply as he hands the cigarette to you. “Thank you…f-for everything.” You say wrapping your knees under your chin and hugging your legs.

Eddie nudges your shoulder with his as he takes the cigarette back, “Any time.”

[queenofbaws]

hi :) 🌩️

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

well hi yourself!!! ;)c i think i got a little something dumb lying around here somewhere...hehehe

“Uncle Jack?” “Mhm.” “What makes you so sure no one's gonna stop and ask to help? If we’re just standin’ out here, I mean?” “Well Bobby,” he said, throwing open the hatchback with a grunt, “that’d be because we’re a scary bunch, the five of us. Goddamn terrifying, as a matter of fact.” Bobby’s eyes flicked between the bunch of them, finishing on his own open hands. “Huh? How? We’re not scary.” “That’s cuz you’re not thinkin’ about it the right way,” Jack explained, and while he might not’ve been Chris’s favorite person on Earth, he did have to admit he appreciated how patient he always was with Bobby and the kids—none of his usual smartassery snaking through his rationale. “Nighttime, so anyone pulling up on us has headlights on to cut through the dark. What’re they gonna see in those lights as they drive up?” “Uh...a truck?” “After that.” “Us?” “Mmm. Five goons too solid to knock over with a pail of water, the lot of ‘em just skulkin’ around in the woods.” “Goons?” Travis sneered. “That’s what got you, huh?” Leaning over, he nudged him with the point of his elbow. “See, for me it was the pail of water thing. Where would you even get a pail full of water at this time of night, Jack? You tell me that.” None of the rest of them laughed at that, not even to snicker. Not even Caleb! Jerks. “I’m gonna need you to imagine you don’t know any of us from Adam for a tick now, Bobby. Never seen us a day in your life. You roll up on us, we probably don’t look all that warm and cuddly, huh? Fact, I’d go a step further—a stranger’d more like as not spot us and hit the gas while actively shitting their pants.” “Jesus Christ, Jack.” “Couldn’t blame them for it, either,” he just kept going, ignoring Travis completely. “Not with three of us looking like serial killers and the other two looking like out-and-out sex perverts.” There was a beat of silence as they absorbed that. Then, almost predictably, Bobby spoke up again. “Wait, which of us is which?” “Y’know what? Why don’t you boys go ahead and sort that one out on your own, hmm?” Chris rolled his eyes so hard he literally made himself motion sick. “For the last time, Jack, it’s 2021, a man should be allowed to wear shorts without getting accused of being a pervert! There’s nothing deviant about showing your knees! It gets hot out here, and—” “Welp,” Jack grunted, setting the traps down onto the asphalt. “There you go. The Boy Scout went and claimed that sex pervert role for himself. Now you just got one more to puzzle out. Take your time.”

[cyberphuck]

So, about the story of how I met my dad and why I love him so much

@qthewhatever asked me to talk about my dad, how he became my dad, and our relationship. I thought this was going to be a fun jaunt through good memories, with maybe a few grateful tears along the way. But the story of why my dad is so special to me can't be told without the context of why my mother *isn't* special to me, and the stark difference between how he treats me, and how I was treated by her. The cliff's notes version (do they even have those anymore?): Dad became my dad kind of by accident, when Seb and I started "pretending" to be siblings in order to be able to rent a room together. Dad is Seb's dad, so it follows that since I'm Seb's sibling, Dad is my dad too. Then he just... fell into the role, because dads gotta dad. He is always proud of me, no matter what, and no matter how badly I fuck something up he could never, ever stop loving me. He cares about me and doesn't get annoyed by the ups and downs of my moods. He lets me cry when I need to. He lets me take a break when I need to. He loves me, *really* loves me, so totally and completely that even though we look absolutely nothing alike, no one who has ever seen us together doubts that he's raised me from birth. That's not what it was like with my mom. I only got so far through recounting her decades of abuse before I found that I couldn't do it anymore. I'm still going to post what I have, because I think other people should read it and maybe become comfortable talking about their abuse *as* abuse and not "I'm sure I was doing something wrong somehow, and it was my fault they were always so angry at me." Also, I spent a long time working on it. This is not a happy story. trigger warnings: child abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, mental illness, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, mentions of various serial killers, mentions of psychiatric hospitals, autism portrayed in a negative tone, fatphobia, and brief mentions of drugs and drug use. (this story is also not complete; it stops when I'm around 27, but I added an epilogue.)

My family had been in various financial situations throughout my childhood, but I was raised upper middle class, which was the same tax bracket that my mom had been raised in. My biodad, Ichiro (Dave) left when I was three, and I saw him once ten years later and then never again. So mom raised my older brother Nick and I by herself (except for a 3 year stint with Chris the Coke Addict Who's Dead Now) up until I was thirteen.

I'll admit I was not an easy kid to raise. I was (and still am) weird and awkward and autistic and prone to oversharing with strangers as well as long crying spells over seemingly low-importance things. Nick was also sensitive and somewhere on the spectrum, but it was me who was the loud one, the hyper one, the one who people politely said was a "late bloomer" and "marched to the beat of their own drummer" (at one point my mom told me I was "marching backwards.") I refused or forgot to eat so often that at six I became malnourished enough to warrant a visit by CPS. I was always being called into the principal's office for doing weird shit at school, like making potions out of shampoo and throwing them at passing cars or lion-roaring at boys I didn't like or whatever. When I got sick, I got VERY sick, like the time I straight up got Scarlet Fever and almost died, or the time I had a fever so high I started convulsing, or the lots of times that I had to do fasting blood draws every month because I had a very low red blood cell count and no one could figure out why.

Bottom line I was very weird. Mom was weird too, my grandparents were weird, but they knew how to "show" in public. I didn't. Nick's nickname for me was "The Spaz." Worse, I constantly craved attention and had absolutely no concept of Stranger Danger (I still kind of don't), and the year I was born, Richard Ramirez was active and killing in Southern California where my mom and Dave lived. In 1992, Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested and his apartment full of chunks of Milwaukee's queer community was broadcasted all over the news. In 1978, when my mom was a young woman, Mary Vincent was attacked by a man who picked her up while hitchhiking. He assaulted her and then attacked her with a hatchet, cutting both her arms off above the elbow. She has hooks for hands now. 

To keep me by her side and not wandering around out in the open, mom told me about all this. Everything-- that Dahmer was killing and eating people, that Ramirez tortured and murdered people, and how Mary Vincent had asked a strange man for a ride and now she had no arms. There's a scene in the beginning of *A Time to Kill* by John Grisham where a young black girl is being raped and tortured by two white men. It's a page or two long, but very graphic, and when I was eight my mom sat me down and made me read it to show me what could happen to me if I went anywhere alone.

At the time, we lived in Lausanne, Switzerland, which is not exactly a hotbed of violent crime.

All that aside, I was a cute kid and a good-looking teenager. I was adorably freckly with never-neat red hair, and then grew into a curvy teen with long red hair and wore cute clothes. Mom bragged to people that I was an author and an artist, and she would often tell me that she loved how 'cool' I was. (cool, in this sense, meant wearing the clothes she bought me and not styling my hair in any way she found ugly. She often pointed out ugly people on TV or on the street, and say something like 'I'm glad YOU don't dress like that.') 

I was smart-- I didn't get good grades because I could never get around to doing my homework, but I scored high on tests and most teachers liked me. I wasn't one of the popular kids, but I was always the leader of whatever little gang I was in, deciding where we went and what we did, and mom loved that, too. And she really, *really* wanted me to go into medicine.

Junior and senior year was where it all started to fall apart. 

Mom's husband is a veteran with severe PTSD. 2001 - 2005 were the worst years with him; he was overbearing at the best of times and the fact that he was a boomer from Brooklyn and I was a millenial from LA really didn't help us see eye to eye. But he had a hair trigger and would back me against a wall to loom over you  and scream in your face. Nick, who was taller and angrier than me, would scream back. Once, Nick was sent to the store for parmesan cheese and came home with the powder kind in the green can instead of the tub of the fancy grated cheese, and the resulting shouting match almost ended in a fist fight.

My depression started getting really bad when I was 17. By 18, I started self-harming, and for the first time had the thought that if I died, if I was gone and were nothing, everything would be better. I also had my first hospitalization.

I'm at 21 inpatient psychiatric stays now.

Worse, I was an adult now and had not transferred gracefully from high school to college (to go into medicine, nothing else was enough for her). I didn't even have a graduation-- I tested out of school in early 2003 and the only pomp and circumstance I got was a half-sheet of paper with 'CALIFORNIA HIGH SCHOOL PROFICIENCY EXAMINATION' printed on it. I had gained a lot of weight, partly due to meds and partly from depression and post-school downtime. She told me my hair looked like a rat's nest and once remarked to her husband, 'look at the size of her!' I no longer wore cute clothes and was not actively trying to turn my art or writing into a profitable career. 

Mom and her husband told me that I absolutely had to go back to school again, or they'd kick me out. The closest community college was two counties away (counties in California are really big). They told me they'd only take me to the nearest bus stop (still an hours' drive) and then I'd have to take a three-hour bus ride to the campus. The absolute earliest bus left at six am, which meant that I could only take classes starting at 10 am, and then had to leave by 2 pm to take the bus back home (the return bus did go all the way back to my area, but didn't run as often). 

They treated my trek back and forth to campus every day not with pride or pity, but contempt, as in "this is what you get for not succeeding." I had two more hospital stays.

After a particularly bad episode with mom's husband where he tried to force his way through a door and I had to climb out a window to get to neighbor's house and call 911, I moved out to stay with Nick, who had left about a year earlier. I was determined to be an adult and build a life for myself, but my depression and self-harming got steadily worse, and though I had several jobs and tried to go to college, every few months I'd do some serious damage to myself and end up back in the psych ward, pushing all my plans back to zero.

Nick moved in with his girlfriend, leaving me to shoulder the rent on our room on my own. I managed for about six months, but I couldn't stay at any job for long. I went to live with Skittle, where my depression took such a nosedive that a lot of nights were just spent huddled in a ball and sobbing. I felt worthless. I felt like I was nothing. 

Skittle and I broke up, and with nowhere to go, I moved back in with my mom. There were short periods thereafter that I would move out again, but basically, after I turned 23, I didn't get away from her again for five years.

Mom was never really happy with me again. I helped out wherever I could, going with her to the ranch where her horses were and volunteering to do all the dirty or hard tasks so she could have more time to ride. I did not and still do not like horses and have no interest in riding them. I went to make her happy. I wanted to do whatever I could to make her like me.

(Mom's ranch friends loved me, because I had been taught to show well in public. With them, I was witty and hard-working, and so sweet to come there to help my mom. Didn't I want to get on a horse, just once? No?)

I brought my mom breakfast and her meds when she woke up, so she could lay in bed while they took effect instead of having to hobble to the kitchen. I did chores around the house. I took the laundry to the laundromat twice a week, and brought them home clean and folded. I walked the dogs and took them to the park. 

My mom told me that I was a draw on finances. I started cleaning houses, and eventually lucked into a job cleaning weed for a hefty sum of money. I made enough money in one three-day weekend to buy my own car, which was a good thing since mom's truck was repossessed not long after. I'd gotten the trimming job in November. I sometimes stayed over at the weed guy's house so I could do two or three days of trimming in a row. In December mom told me that all I cared about was money.

Early the next year, my boss was between sales, so he was late paying me. I owed my mom two hundred dollars (I can't remember for what), and she treated me with open hatred for every day I didn't have it. Bitter and upset, I posted something on facebook to the effect of "does anyone know where I can find two hundred dollars so my mom will love me again?" Mom saw it and sent me a message: 

"you want to play this game? better not call for a while I better not see you for a while. a person must learn to keep family business private [Jaydee]."

I also got:

“Just sit there and pretend you’re not here.”

“I’m trying to reminisce about happier times, before all this.”

“You know you think it’s all about you, but I had your brother first.”

“If you don’t like the things I say to you, leave and find someplace with someone nicer.”

“Go get a shrink and figure out why you’re like this all the time.”

[epilogue: the next year, I was planning to commit suicide because I saw no other way out. Seb offered to let me stay with him in Texas; my options were Texas, or death. I pondered that for a while. A few weeks later, I got a refund of a Pell Grant from my college that they'd mistakenly taken two years earlier. Mom and her husband made it expressly clear that as soon as the money hit my account, I was to hand it over to them. Instead, I bought a plane ticket, pulled out the rest of the money in cash, wiped my ass with her husband's face towel, and snuck out with two suitcases in the middle of the night. I had left a note for mom saying I didn't want to be abused anymore and told her I was going to stay with a friend in Central California to throw her off my trail. I also told her that if she ever tried to find me, or bothered any of my friends to get information, I would put all of her secrets and records of her abuse on facebook for all her friends and relatives to read.

I didn't see her or speak to her again for nearly ten years, until this May. Then I flipped her off.]

[total-drama-brainrot]

chris only swaps lindsay bc he finds her failure entertaining

"yeah i'm gonna find that clue / i'm doing what chris proposed / for this game, i'll strip him down / 'cause if i don't, i'm hosed! totally ho-oh-oh-oh-OH–aargh!"

greece and nevada songs gotta be totally different

sierra in tiny cody top shirt send tweet

"it doesn't have to be a boat / as long as it stays afloat / oh, what the hell did we build?"

"we built some weird lump" "they're all total chumps!"

"we built–" "tyler's face! duh?"

having trouble thinking of a word that scans with "famous" in duncanrific. criminal? notorious?

condor order goes alejandro, tyler, courtney (with sierra's tune), lindsay (also with sierra's tune), heather

hm. i want heather to win immunity in drumheller so now i'm reverse engineering dino ideas: alejandro does as in canon, tyler builds the sportosaur and lindsay is glad it has nothing to do with alejandro, lindsay builds the riverraptor (legally blonde reference), heather i don't think would build the chris dino but what would the others like...

after this is how we will end it she pretends to go along with alejandro's deal for a few seconds before rejecting it, throwing her tiara at him, and running back to the jet

"heather, alejandro's not just a boyfriend stealer!" "...you didn't know?"

tyler is the last one back with a barrel

the final chapter involves beth telling the other contestants "oh look, there's alejandro, go beat him up" to get lyler an alone moment which i think is good enough karma

- lindsanon

Chris doing things because He Finds Them Funny is so in character, that man lives for The Amusement™.

Giving Lindsay an actual singing solo instead of the sing-talking most of the songs use is really funny to be because I'm pretty sure Lindsay's one of the few characters who canonically can't sing well (at least, given her singing in Action and relative lack of singing in WT) so I've always headcanoned her are tone deaf. So the idea of a tone deaf Lindsay trying to belt out Courtney's finisher in London and just totally botching it is so good.

Sierra would start wearing the shirts she'd stolen from Cody as a sort of memoir, wouldn't she? That's valid.

As for rhyming with "famous"; you could rhyme is with "shameless", "heinous", "brainless", or at a stretch "moral-greyness", and either use that opportunity to have the cast roast Duncan OR the objectively better opinion, have Duncan roast the cast/Chris.

The idea of Beth just sicking everyone he's ever wronged on Alejandro just to give Lyler a moment of privacy is peak, Beth's the ultimate wingman!

[heartsoulrocknroll]

AEW Dynamite 11/16/22

Bryan Danielson and Claudio Castagnoli vs. Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara -- Claudio does lunges while holding Guevara in a suplex position before dropping him!!! Guevara continues to target the eye of Danielson that was injured in the 2 out of 3 falls match. Danielson with some aggressive running dropkicks into the corner!!! Guevara with a drop toe hold, driving Danielson's face into the bottom turnbuckle. Jericho hits Danielson in the head with the bat!! Claudio gets the hot tag!! He absolutely throws Guevara around like a rag doll and pummels Jericho in the corner with vicious uppercuts!! Danielson and Guevara back in. Beautiful rolling elbow from Danielson to Guevara!!! Series of kicks by Danielson!! Guevara goes back to Danielson's injured eye. Jumping knee by Guevara!!!! Danielson reverses a GTH attempt and grabs the LeBell lock!!!!!!! Guevara gets to the ropes. Top rope cutter by Guevara!!!! Jericho tags in and hits a Lionsault on Danielson, but Claudio breaks up the pin! Claudio absolutely hurls Guevara so high in the air and hits a huge uppercut!!!! Claudio tags in! Jericho goes for a shot with the bat, but Claudio catches him in the Giant Swing!!! When Claudio releases him, Jericho grabs the bat again. Claudio snatches the bat away and locks in the Sharpshooter!! Jericho taps!!! Claudio now has two falls on Jericho since losing the ROH World Championship to him!!! This match rocked!!!! Excited for the four way at Full Gear!!!!

The Acclaimed debut their music video, in which Caster raps about Swerve. It's pretty funny. Not gonna lie. Lol.

Death Triangle (c) vs. Top Flight and AR Fox for the AEW World Trios Championship -- Good to see Darius back and to see AR Fox in AEW! Darius and Dante throw Pac into a cutter by AR Fox!!! Standing moonsault from Pac and double team cazadora bomb from Penta and Fénix at the same time on Fox! Later on, 450 off the top rope by Fox on Fénix, but Fénix kicks out!! Fear Factor by Penta and Fénix followed by Black Arrow by Pac gets the three count on Fox!! Death Triangle retains again!!!

After the match, Pac calls out The Elite. "If they think they can just mozy in and best the Death Triangle, that's ridiculous. Death Triangle runs from nobody!! You may think you're coming for us, but we've been waiting for you." Go off, Pac!!!!! I am so hyped for this match!!!!!!!! But if The Elite win, I will jump out a window. I need Death Triangle to have the reign they deserve.

Bandido vs. Ethan Page (AEW World Championship number one contender tournament) -- This was fine. Page wins with Ego's Edge. Yawn.

Here comes Moxley to the ring with Regal. Moxley says his liking to fight isn't a good thing. He says he is sick in the head. He's addicted to the adrenaline rush, to hurting himself and his opponent. He said you can't hurt him, because he literally doesn't care. That's who Jon Moxley is. He says he has been trying to figure out who MJF is. He says the world sees what MJF wants them to see, prepared speeches and hand-picked opponents. But what Moxley sees is a kid playing wrestler, who is afraid he won't live up to the hype. Moxley says MJF isn't challenging him, Moxley is challenging MJF to show him something, to show him why people think MJF is going to be the future of this industry.

The Firm attacks and beats Moxley down!!!!!!! MJF runs out on a mission!!!! He takes out the Gunns and Moriarty on the ramp!!! He jumps into the ring and gives Morrissey a swift low blow!!! Ethan Page tries for a kick on MJF, but MJF dodges him and sends him into Morrissey instead. Then MJF puts his thumb in Page's eye and lands a low blow and a big left hand strike!!! I AM FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!! MJF USING HEEL TACTICS LIKE THE LOW BLOWS AND THE THUMB TO THE EYE BUT STILL LOOKING LIKE THE BABYFACE OPPOSITE THE FIRM IS MAKING ME INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MJF tells Stokely and The Firm, "If I were you, I'd get the hell out of Connecticut before I firmly take my boot and shove it up your ass." He then turns to Moxley, who is still down and out. "I did not save your ass because I like you, Jon. I saved you because I don't want any of your pissant, mark fan club making any excuses for you when I knock your lights clean out. No Dynamite Diamond Ring necessary. Ain't that right, Will? When I got into this business, my ultimate goal was to become the best wrestler in the world. And I'm not an idiot, Jon. I know this Saturday, I'm in for the fight of my life. You're one double tough, bad son of a bitch. But know this, I ain't the same kid I was the first time we fought for that piece of gold. You see, this time, you can dump me on my head as many times as you want, you can make me bleed buckets, you can snap, crackle, and pop every single ligament, joint, and bone in my body, but I will not stop. Because I need that belt more than I need water, more than I need food, and more than I need oxygen. Because when you're the man that holds the AEW World title, that makes you the best wrestler on God's green earth, and goddamn it, it's my time!!! Now I heard you last week when you said I'm not the devil. That's classic. Maybe you haven't been listening very well, so allow me to tell you. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist. And this Saturday at Full Gear, you are going to find out that I am the devil himself." MJF starts with his catchphrase, but Moxley takes the mic out of his hand before he can finish. Moxley says he never really saw the big deal with MJF, but at Full Gear, they are going to find out. Moxley says if MJF can't find it inside of himself, Moxley is gonna reach in and pull it out of him. He says at Full Gear, the training wheels come off.

LET'S GOOOOOOOOO. I AM SO EXCITED. I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WAS THIS EXCITED FOR ANYTHING IN AMERICAN WRESTLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[aki-draws-things]

When Jake asked him how old he was Ron thinks for a moment, he.looks down at his hands starts to count on his fingers and then holds up both hands, not a word yet. 10. He doesn't look 10, though. Mav had been the one who.picked him up and carried him to the infirmary, he's small. Thin. Fuck, he could feel his bones, like he's a starving kid. (Mama was already dead at the time, it's not like he was starving, he.always had a very nice lunch, thanks to Tommy's mom, but father liked to drink more. It will take a while, even after living with tom, for him to put some weight on, that's another reason nock ended up being called mother goose at academy. That's pretty much when he hit a growth spurt and started to.get fit instead of that skinny boy they met at first.)

But he looks smaller. Speak little English around people he doesn't know or trust, speaks a lot more around tom, chris and Jake. Bradley too.

Bradley gave him a plane toy too, he saw the way he looked at the jets from the window, his nose pressed on the glass.

"Always wanted to fly" he says once, Tom is making arrangements with Chris to get him home. "I can get away from father. I can take Tommy and Sasa and Leska away from the bad man too." He nods, more like he's talking to himself. "One day I will be big enough to take them away, so Tommy doesn't have to be scared anymore. We'll go somewhere far far away, with a lot of sun where Leska doesn't have to cry because she's scared."

Tom's trying not to cry on the phone, because Ron did say that before, he knows he means it.

Oh, God...he's so scared that someone will hurt jake and Roos for kissing, if not their dads then someone else. He made the mistake of saying he likes Tommy once, never again for many, many years, his father beat him so badly that time he skipped school for three days.

When he gets sick it's bad, it's only a day, because once he's back he's not sick anymore (hungover. Like the post migraine hungover, but not sick), chris amd tom for a moment forgot how much kids could be fussy when sick, tom remember Ron trying to hide being sick all the time. But oh, Jake never dealt with a sick kid before. He finds Ron feverish on the couch, looking so miserable and he panics. What do you do.with a sick kid???!??his fever is high. How high is too high? Maybe a cool bath helps? They get home from grocery with Jake cuddling him.

Ron remembers, it's a bit hazy on some things, he actually feels.the worst hungover ever as I'm gonna throw up right there kind of bad. But oh, he remembers. He remembers how cared he felt, 10yo him had never been cared for like that.

Phanie dear I’m going to need a de-aging fic about Ron thinking he’s still with his dad and they have to convince him he’s okay and not going to get hurt.

Sorry, I'm sooo slow dear! (and kind of a perfectionist...sigh) but here...

Enjoy this baby Ron. Literally deaged. No idea how they'll turn him back to adult him. Maybe he'll just pop back to the right age after a little.

Magic.

As impossible as it sounded, magic was also the only explanation they could give for that. Whatever that was.

Maverick cursed.

Phoenix slapped the back of his head and pointed at the kid with an outraged "Watch your mouth!". He wanted to say he heard Ron say much worse than that.

Yeah, Ron. Exactly. The problem at hand. Ron who currently looked 10 years old or so amd was looking at them with the biggest, most scared brown eyes ever.

Jake opened his mouth, the curse was more child-approved than Maverick's, but he still cursed.

Ron was sitting on a bed in the infirmary, his legs swinging slightly, his hands gripping the blanket. His eyes kept darting through the room, following all those strangers around him talking all at once. He couldn't understand what they were saying, they talked too fast, one on top of the other. He had to pay closer attention to what they were saying, though, his father always said he had to listen. Father would get angry if he didn't listen. But he couldn't follow. Too many people, adults. Too much sound. His head was hurting. It hurt so much.

His lips quivered and he grasped the closest shirt he found.

Jake felt a light tug on his uniform and turned.

"Hey... hey, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Ron sniffled. He didn't let go of the shirt and Jake turned and gave him his full attention. He brushed his thumb across his cheek catching a stray tear.

"Scared, little bird? Hurt?"

Ron shook his head. He lied. Father would get angry if he said his head hurt. He was going to hit him if he said he was scared because boys are not supposed to be scared.

The blond man got closer, his hands were big and warm, he touched his head, checking him carefully.

"Does it hurt here, little bird?"

He shook his head again and the man titled his. Ron flinched, his eyes filled with tears, he wanted the man to stop touching his head.

He whined.

Then suddenly his eyes grew bigger, tears spilled down his cheeks and he pressed both hands over his mouth. Big boys don't cry nor they make those sounds.

"Hey, it's alright... get us some ice, Mav."

He sat next to him on the bed, took the ice pack, and wrapped it in a cloth before placing it on his head. "Better, mh? You're safe here, little bird, I will take care of you."

Ron didn't know why, but the blond man felt safe.

"Safe?"

He finally managed to ask in a small voice, quiet.

"No papa?"

Jake's eyes darkened, and the one he called Mav took a step closer.

"Do you want us to call--"

Before Jake, who suddenly looked up, could say anything, Ron trembled and tried to jump off the bed and, Jake suspected, hide.

"Hey hey hey... it's okay. Safe, remember?" Jake pointed at himself. "Safe."

It took a little longer to coax him into not trying to run, but he looked distrustful of Maverick.

It took even longer for Ron to fall asleep, curled in Jake's arms the way Jake used to do when he was his age. He felt familiar, safe. He smelled familiar.

"Okay... we need to fix this."

"No shit."

"You're good with kids." Bradley muttered and Jake shot him a look and a wink.

"I had a good example. We still need to fix it."

Before my dads find out their husband is currently 10.

Fuck.

Ron curled up tighter in his arms and Jake could only wrap himself tighter around him. He did have a good example, the best even, and he was currently sleeping in his arms.

"Jake..." Bradley called again, he sat down next to him, he looked at the boy who had been admiral Kerner until 3 hours ago and then back up at Jake. He hesitated. "You-- you can talk to me, you know that right? For... for anything. I mean--" he took a deep breath and watched as Jake tilted his head slightly. He saw the kid do the exactly same movement before. Weird.

"They say that an abused child grows to be very...uhm-- caring. Compassionate. Toward children and--"

Jake almost laughed. He didn't only because he would've woken Ron up. Oh god, did he really though he had been abused? Didn't he know who his-- oh. Wait. He didn't.

"I'm serious, Jake."

"Well, you're not wrong, but it's not my case."

"Not your--"

"Papa... both my dads had a troubled childhood, but when I dropped in their lives they did exactly the opposite of what they got. And believe Roos, they set the bar so high that it's kind of a miracle you managed to even get me out on a date."

Bradley fell silent for a bit, he stared at the way Jake rearranged his position when his arm started to hurt but never let Ron go too much or for too long.

Ron frowned and squeezed his eyes, Jake hummed something, Polish words falling weird with the Texan accent he took growing up, his fingers carding through the curls on his head. It looked like something Jake had been used to do, weird as it was. (He was. Ever since he was 10, and his dads permitted him to bully papa when he didn't have to leave the couch because he was sick or hurt. He let papa put his head on his lap, one hand was on the head, the other usually on the chest. Tata knew exactly why he did that.) It did little to soothe him, though, because Ron gasped awake and shot up sitting, brown eyes so wide he thought they would pop out of his skull. He looked around wildly, trembling hard and grasping and curling his shirt into his hands.

"Little bird, hey... hey, it's alright. Safe. Look at me, safe. I'm here..." He opened his arms and waited for Ron to trust him enough. Ron crashed into his stretched arms, climbed on him, and held tight. He sobbed, muttering some words that Bradley wasn't sure made sense.

That was when the compacflt appeared. He stared at them briefly, and took a deep breath, he knew that mop of curls.

"What happened?"

Bradley almost jumped to attention. Jake rolled his shoulders and the kid looked up and stared at Tom with teary eyes.

"No idea. He just pooffed into his 10 years old body and memories."

"Not good..." was the only comment Iceman let out before crouching at Ron's eye level smiling. Mav returned with a can of soda as Tom spoke.

"Hey Sunny, what did you get yourself into, baby?"

For a moment Jake thought Ron would start crying, if the way his lips quivered meant anything.

"Not my Tommy." He finally muttered. He was staring at Tom, but still holding on to Jake's shirt. "Only my Tommy calls me that. And my Tommy's small."

Oh. Oh, of course. Jake saw a shade of grief pass through Tom's eyes.

"Can I see my tommy?"

"Later... first we need to be sure you're okay. Let the doctor--"

"I'm okay! I don't need a doctor! Father says that only a weak kid needs doctors. I'm not weak."

Jake wasn't sure if he wanted to cry or to kill the man, again.

"He's wrong," Tom said, so fast. "He's wrong because I say he is, and I'm always right."

Ron tilted his head and blinked. His Tommy always said that whenever he said things about his father. he liked this grown-up.

"I and Jake will be with you , and then-- and then I'll call Tommy and tell him you really want to see him."

Ron seemed to briefly light up.

"... and father?" He shuddered even saying the word.

"He won't find you here. You're safe, Ronnie. I promise. Do you trust me?"

Tom held his hand out, his pinky finger, like when they were little. Ron seemed to consider it carefully before giving a hesitant nod, and linked his smaller pinky with his. God, was he that small all the time, back then? Tom never realized. He was so tiny--

"Trust you."

They would find a way to fix it, to get Ron back, until then, they swore to give him the best days, or hours, they could manage.

[ambrossart]

DANCING WITH MYSELF

— PART SIX

summary: eddie crashes senior prom hoping to steal a dance with his dream girl, chrissy cunningham. instead, he spends the night stuck in the women’s restroom with you—her snarky, insecure best friend. ❖ pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader ❖ word count: 3,511 ❖ genre: fluff with some angst ❖ series status: complete ❖ warnings: no season 4 spoilers, some coarse language, body image issues, allusions to eating disorders, typical teenage insecurities, angst, jealousy, anxiety, secret crushes, childhood memories, happy ending, lots of 80s music one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

You shoveled chocolate cake into your mouth while George Michael crooned “Careless Whisper” into the cold, dark depths of your soul: “I’m never gonna dance again… Guilty feet have got no rhythm…”

You sang along with your mouth full, crumbs spewing from your lips, stopping only to take another bite, another swig of punch. You were drunk on your own misery because nobody had bothered to spike the punch bowl. Yeah, apparently you were attending the one dry prom in the entire country, but that was A-okay because this smooth, melancholy sax was sending you swirling into despair and nothing mattered anymore.

You finished one plate of cake, licked your fork clean, then reached for another. That’s how Chrissy found you, three slices deep in chocolate cake, with frosting smeared all over your face. She came up to you like a mother approaching her paint-splattered toddler and said, “What are you doing?”

“Oh, you know, just eating my feelings…”

“Yeah, I can see that.” She surveyed the damage with a frown. “Where’d you get all the cake?”

“I stole it off that table over there.” You gestured with your hand. “Not my proudest moment… and yet, somehow, not my lowest tonight, either.” You sliced through the stolen cake with your fork, another huge chunk, and—down the hatch!—stuffed it all into your mouth.

Chrissy sucked in a breath through her teeth, grimacing as she watched you. “Oh boy,” she said, and sat down beside you. “Okay, sweetie, tell me what happened.”

“I took your advice. I tried to talk to Eddie, I tried to be nice, and I went down hard in a giant blaze of glory. Like, it was cataclysmic, Chris. You should have seen it. We’re talking ‘Mount Vesuvius erupting’ bad, ‘meteor killing all the dinosaurs’ bad. Like, I just single-handedly wiped out an entire civilization in a matter of seconds. Total carnage. No survivors. He yelled at me, Chris. He actually yelled at me, and you know, I always thought I’d be turned on by him yelling, but I wasn’t. Honestly, I’m kinda traumatized by the whole thing, and… uhh, yeah… now I’m sitting here eating cake with my good friend George Michael. He has a lovely voice, don’t you think?”

You went back for more cake, and Chrissy snatched the fork out of your hand. “Okay, that’s enough sugar for you.”

You snorted. “Don’t worry, I’ll just throw it up later.”

Chrissy winced.

“Oh—” You slapped your hand over your mouth and sank into your chair, a shameful blush engulfing your face. “Oh my god, Chris, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… you know, all the lactose, it’s gonna make me sick later, that’s all I meant. I swear, I wasn’t trying to…”

Chrissy’s smile was warm and forgiving. “I know. It’s okay.” She scooted closer to you, then handed you a napkin and told you to wipe your face. While you were doing that, she said, “All right, just out of curiosity… when you were talking to Eddie, were you talking to him like you and I talk? Or were you just making a lot of jokes at his expense?”

“That’s not fair, Chris. I’ve known you my whole life.”

“Just answer the question.”

You puffed up your cheeks and blew out. “Fine, I was making jokes, but they weren’t mean or anything. I just…” You hung your head. “I don’t know how to talk to him, Chris. It’s like, he looks at me and my heart starts beating really fast and I just go into panic mode, and I start hurling insults like hand grenades. It’s like World War II in my head, and I’m deep in the trenches. And I know I’m messing it up. I can hear myself messing it up. All the warning bells are going off: Abort mission! Abort mission! But I can’t stop myself! I insult his clothes and his music, and I sacrifice him to demons.”

Chrissy said, “Wait, what? Demons?”

“Yeah… I kinda sacrificed him to a demon back in middle school—well, his character, not him. This didn’t happen in real life or anything. It was in a game: Dungeons & Dragons. I dunno if you’ve heard of it, but… it’s surprisingly fun. You get to make your own character and everything.”

“And sacrifice people to demons, apparently.”

“Yeah—well, no, you aren’t really supposed to do that. I kinda went rogue and ruined the whole game.”

“That sounds more accurate.” Chrissy giggled into her hand, then tipped her head at you and smiled. “Oh… what am I gonna do with you?”

“Trade me in for a newer model?”

Chrissy shook her head. “Nah… I’ve grown kinda attached to you.” She took your napkin and carefully dabbed some frosting off your chin. Then she put her hands on your knees and said in a calm, reassuring voice, “Listen to me: it’s just Eddie. You’re not exactly talking to Steve Perry here.”

“Well, at this point I think I’d have a better shot with Steve Perry.”

“Yeah… he’s a famous rock star, so somehow I doubt that.”

“Well, you don’t know how charming I can be.” You pressed your hand to your chest and fluttered your lashes.

Chrissy laughed at you. “Actually, I know exactly how charming you can be, which is why it breaks my heart to see you like this. Seriously, what are you so afraid of? Him not liking you back?”

“Oh, he definitely doesn’t like me back. Yeah, I’d say him yelling in my face kinda solidified that.”

Chrissy said, “Well, then you have nothing to lose, right?” And you went quiet. “Just talk to him. Don’t overthink it. Don’t make jokes. And please, for the love of God, don’t insult the guy. Just walk up to him and be honest. Say, ‘Eddie, I’m an idiot—I’m an adorable idiot, but an idiot. I’ve been in love with you for six years, but I never knew how to express my feelings. I’d very much like to marry you and have your babies’—Ha!” She absorbed your half-hearted slap, giggling as she did.

“Just talk to him,” she said. “I promise you’ll feel better once you do.”

“Yeah, that’s easy for you to say. You confess to a guy and he’s basically winning the lottery. I do it and it’s like, Sorry, son, there’s been a death in the family.”

“Oh, that’s not true, and you know it. You’re the lottery, too.”

“Yeah, maybe the penny scratcher…”

Chrissy shook her head. “Now you’re just being silly.”

But you weren’t. You weren’t joking at all.

Silence fell over the table as the music seamlessly transitioned to The Dream Academy’s folksy cover of “Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want” by The Smiths. Another slow, painfully depressing song, but this one was even worse because it carried this pathetic sense of yearning that stabbed and twisted into your heart like a dagger.

You braced yourself for another three minutes of torture when, out of nowhere, a phantom voice said, “Wanna dance?”

You looked to your left and felt your stomach flip. It was Jason Carver, standing beside you with an outstretched hand, looking like a damn Ken doll in his prom tux. (You had made that joke more than once. Chrissy always hated it: “I swear to God, if you call me Barbie, I’ll kill you.”)

You flinched away from him, blushing. “Oh, no thanks, I don’t really—”

“Come on, it’s our last prom. You gotta do at least one slow dance.” Jason’s smile was confident and irresistibly charming.

You stared at his hand for a minute, your stomach twisting into all kinds of knots; then you glared at Chrissy. “You put him up to this, didn’t you?”

She put up her hands and backed away from the table. “Hey, don’t look at me…”

And before you could further protest, Jason took your hand and effortlessly lifted you out of your chair, making your knees buckle as soon as you put weight on them. The anxiety was hitting you like a train now and dragging your body over the tracks. What if you stepped on his foot? What if you scuffed up his shoes? They looked like some really expensive shoes. Could you actually afford to replace them? What if your breath smelled terrible? What if you had chocolate cake in your teeth? (Oh my god, you definitely had chocolate cake in your teeth!) You two were going to be standing face to face, practically nose to nose. He was going to see everything. The peach fuzz on your face. The huge pores on your nose. What if Jason saw all these glaring imperfections and thought, Wow, she’s somehow even uglier up close?

Well, then you would simply die.

Panicking, you pulled your hand out of his grasp. “Wait, Jason, I…”

Jason chased your hand, caught it, and gave it a comforting squeeze. “Hey, come on. Just relax, okay? I promise I won’t step on your feet.”

“Yeah, but I…” You saw your reflection in his dazzling blue-grey eyes and suddenly lost your will to resist.

The next two minutes felt like two hours.

Here you were, slow dancing with Jason Carver in the middle of the dance floor. His hands were around your waist, holding you close like you were his real date and not just some last-minute tagalong. Your arms were draped around his neck, stiff and awkward at first, but gradually loosening as you swayed to the music. It was surreal, being this close to him: feeling his heart beating against yours, feeling the heat of his breath on your face whenever he spoke, whenever he laughed at one of your jokes.

Ten-year-old you would have been so happy right now. She would have floated home on a cloud, spent the rest of the night daydreaming about Jason Carver and gushing about him in her diary. Savor that sweet naivety, kid, because in a few years it’ll all be gone. You couldn’t remember the last time you let yourself daydream, get so caught up in your fantasies that you had to pinch your arm just to bring yourself back to reality. You tried, but you could never seem to get your feet off the ground. They were just so heavy.

Then after a while, you just stopped trying.

“You know, I used to be really jealous of you,” Jason said after a while.

“What?” you said. “Why?”

Jason looked at you like you were insane, like it was so painfully obvious. “You’re Chrissy’s favorite person in the world, and you always will be. Whenever something good happens, you’re her first phone call. When she’s upset, she goes running to you for comfort. And that just kills me because I wanna be that person for her too, and I’m scared I never will be.”

You frowned. “Yeah, we kinda have a weird codependency thing going on. It’s probably really unhealthy, actually…”

Jason laughed. “It’s not, it’s great, and I’m so glad she has you. Honestly, I am.” His smile was so sincere and sad, it broke your heart a little. “Look, Chrissy is amazing, easily the best thing that ever happened to me, but I know she only shows me the good side of her. The happy side. She smiles for me and cries for you. She doesn’t trust me enough to show me her ugly side, and I don’t know how to change that. I’m scared to bring it up because I don’t wanna push her away, but I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Jason, trust me, you’re already doing exactly what you’re supposed to do.” When you said this, you felt your chest tighten unexpectedly. “Maybe I just need to step back a little, give you two some space.”

“What? No, that’s not what I—”

You shook your head, tears welling in your eyes. “Jason, it’s fine, really. Honestly, I think that’ll be the best thing for both of us. I mean, we can’t lean on each other forever, right?”

You laid your chin on his shoulder and stared across the dance floor to where your best friend was sitting with a huge smile.

Of course Chrissy wasn’t jealous watching you dance with her boyfriend. No, that hideous emotion was reserved just for you. You were the one who was never satisfied with what you had. You were the one constantly comparing yourself to everyone else. Judging yourself. Weighing yourself. Hating yourself.

Here you were, slow dancing with Jason Carver, being the envy of every girl at prom, and all you could think about was how badly you wanted to switch places with Chrissy Cunningham, to be sitting right where she was.

Because that’s where he was going.

As you watched Eddie approach Chrissy, as you watched them talk, Jason started singing under his breath: “Please, please, please… Let me get what I want… Lord knows it will be the first time…” and you buried your face in his shoulder and squeezed your eyes shut real tight.

Chrissy stared at Eddie Munson with knitted brows. “You’re asking me to dance? Why?”

“Uhh… because I want to? I don’t really know how else to answer that.” Eddie scratched the back of his neck, feeling both nervous and bashful as he stood before her in his suit jacket and ripped jeans. “Umm, look, you don’t have to say yes or anything. Seriously, just say the word and I’ll get outta your way and leave you alone. I just thought, y’know, since it’s the last prom and all…”

Chrissy cut him off. “Yeah, but why? I never even talk to you, so why would you wanna dance with me?”

“Well, I uhh…” Eddie cleared his throat a few times, then let out a nervous chuckle. “Wow, you’re really putting me on the spot here, aren’t you? Umm, okay, well… that’s a little difficult to answer, and I’m probably gonna shoot myself in the foot for saying this, but… Wait, are you okay?”

Chrissy was staring off towards the dance floor, where her boyfriend was dancing with her best friend, and as she did, her whole expression just kind of wilted into this guilty, miserable look that cut Eddie to his core.

“Oh shit,” he said to himself. “Hey, look, I’m not trying to get in the way of anything here. I know you have a boyfriend and that’s totally cool. I just…”

Now Chrissy had her hands cupped over her mouth, appearing on the verge of tears.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, to seemingly no one at all. Then she looked up at Eddie, her blue eyes sparkling like two gorgeous sapphires, and she said the words he had been dreading most of all. “I’m really sorry, but I can’t dance with you tonight.”

She pushed past him and walked away, leaving Eddie gutted and standing alone with his heart in his hand.

“Okay,” he said after the initial shock had worn off, “that was fucking brutal.”

When you finally opened your eyes, you were facing the opposite side of the room and staring at a wall of familiar faces. But one in particular caught your eye. It stole the breath from your lips and made your face go white with shock… as if you were seeing a ghost.

Your legs felt heavy as you broke away from Jason and stormed across the dance floor. Once you got close enough, you opened your mouth to yell, but all that came out was a hoarse whisper.

“I thought you had food poisoning!” You hissed the words like they were a curse, like you were trying to banish his spirit back to the grave.

Chance Gallagher turned toward you with a cup of punch in his hand and a pretty girl at his side. “Oh shit,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean, what am I doing here? What are you doing here? I thought you were sick.”

“Yeah, well, I uhh…”

“You got better, huh?” There was a lump in your throat as you watched Chance fidget with his tie, loosening it so he could breathe more easily. The color of it matched your dress perfectly, but it also matched the dress of his pretty new date, along with the corsage that dangled from her wrist. It was your favorite flower. You figured it was hers, too.

You rubbed your brow furiously, struggling to fully grasp the situation. “Okay, I think I’m a little outta the loop here… If you didn’t actually wanna go to prom with me, why did you even ask me in the first place?”

Chance’s shoulders went up and down uncaringly. “Because Jason asked me to.”

His words hit you like a sucker punch to the jaw. You staggered back and shook your head. “What? Jason asked you to…?”

Of course, you thought. Of course, Jason put him up to it. Why else would someone like Chance Gallagher ask you to prom? Chance was popular, Chance was on the basketball team, and who the hell were you but Chrissy Cunningham’s bitchy best friend? You knew he wasn’t actually interested in you. Hey, you? The guy didn’t even know your name! That little voice in your head tried to warn you—it was practically screaming at you!—but you didn’t listen to it. No, you let yourself wish and dream and get swept up in all the grandeur of prom, but it was all bullshit. Fake, plastic, bullshit. And you shouldn’t have come in the first place.

You ran into Jason and Chrissy on your way out. As soon as you saw Jason, you pointed your finger in his face and screamed at the top of your lungs, “YOU SELFISH SONOFABITCH! YOU TRIED TO PAWN ME OFF TO YOUR FRIEND!”

Chrissy’s face scrunched up with confusion. “What? Jason, what is she talking about?”

Jason opened his mouth and closed it again. His stormy blue eyes were writhing with guilt.

“He forced Chance to ask me to prom, Chris. He made him do it. What, did you have to pay him? How much was I worth, Jason? Twenty bucks? Thirty? Did you get a good deal out of it, at least?”

Jason exploded: “Oh, come on, of course I didn’t pay him! I would never insult you like that!”

“Right, you would just force me onto your friends like some chore!”

Jason shook his head furiously. “No, that’s not what it was! I swear to God it wasn’t. Look, all I did was ask Chance to do me a favor, that’s all. I didn’t know he was gonna flake on you like that. If I’d known, I never would’ve asked him to do it in the first place.” He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the dirty blond roots. “I just wanted everyone to have a good time. That’s all I was trying to do.”

“I don’t believe you,” you said as a tear escaped your eye and rolled down your cheek. “No, you wanna know what I think, Jason? I think you wanted to have a good time, and I was in your way. Well, don’t worry, Jason, I’m getting out of your way now, so you go ahead and enjoy your perfect little prom, okay? I’m done.”

You turned to leave and Chrissy was at your elbow, crying and begging you to stay.

You said to her, “No, please, I don’t wanna be the one that ruins your night, and I really don’t wanna cry anymore. And I know if I’m around you, I’m gonna completely fall apart and… I just need some time by myself, okay? I’ll be fine, I will, I just… I really need to get outta here.”

You tore away from her and saw dozens of eyes bearing down on you. Preps. Jocks. Nerds. Cheerleaders. Sally, Sarah, and Stacy, standing there looking so damn pleased by your misfortune. Like this was just perfect, wasn’t it? Like it was exactly what you deserved.

You squirmed away from their eyes, all of their eyes, and ran up the stairs and out the door.

Now here you were, sitting on the dirty floor of the women’s restroom and crying in your prom dress while “Endless Love” sent you spiraling right back to middle school. All you needed was a bucket of pigs’ blood dropped on you and your night was complete.

You ripped off your corsage and whipped it at the garbage can. Then you slumped down, knocked your head against the wall, wiped some of the mascara off your cheeks, and thought, God, this night can’t possibly get any…

The door burst open and

“Oh shit!”

Eddie Munson came stumbling into the bathroom like a drunken idiot after a bar fight. He spun around, catching himself on the wall, and then pushed his back against the door.

His brown eyes bulged as they locked with yours.

“Uhh… hi. How’s your night going?”

_____________________

PREV // CURRENT // NEXT

[quanticowrites]

What a dance can do (Christopher Lasalle x Reader)

•• Hi everybody! I'm on vacation right now in sunny Las Vegas, but here's a little something I worked on last week at work! I hope you enjoy it!••

“How’s about a dance?” You sighed and looked up at Chris. He was holding his hand out to you with a smile going from ear to ear. You’d been sitting at the table for most of the night, aside from getting up and heading to the buffet line. Charity Balls weren’t your thing, but everyone else from the team was going and you didn’t want to disappoint them by not showing up entirely.

“That’s sweet of you to ask, Christopher, but I’m fine right where I’m at.” He didn’t move.

“I’ve been watching you sit here all night. Come on, just one dance?” You quirked a brow up at him.

“Will you leave me alone after?”

“Cross my heart.” He used one hand to do what he said, but his other hand was mysteriously hidden behind his back. You wondered if he was crossing his fingers. You tripped over your own feet as Chris dragged you out onto the dance floor.

“Alright everybody, we’ve been keeping it pretty hot in here,” The DJ started, “So let’s do a little cool down here before we crank the party back up.” Chris brought your hand up to his shoulder and moved your other to his thigh before resting his other hand on your lower back. A slow song played. You didn’t recognize it or the singer.

“Where did you learn how to waltz?”

“If my Daddy made sure to do one thing when I was younger it was to teach me proper manners, and a few dances.” He chuckled. “Never really liked it much, though.” You nodded. Chris didn’t seem the type to like such fancy things. He never wanted to inherit his dad’s company, anyway. His dad may have been sick but that gave him no right to throw the company of Christopher when he passed. He knew damn well Christopher wanted nothing to do with it. He didn’t think Christopher did much here at NCIS, but he couldn't have been more wrong.

“So why are you doing it now?”

“You looked a bit lonely sitting there by yourself.” You smiled.

“I suppose I was, I don’t really care for these types of things.” He laughed.

“Me neither, but it’s for a good cause.” The song ended and you both stopped. It was a tender moment as you both stared into each other's eyes before you ultimately pulled your gaze away.

“Looks like the song’s done.” You blushed as Chris continued to look at you, not saying a word. “Chris?”

“Do you wanna get out of here?” He asked.

“Y-yeah.” You cursed at how your voice sounded. You sounded like a high schooler that just got caught by the teacher doing something you weren't supposed to. “Anywhere is better than here.”

“Do you want to come with me back to my place? We’re not far.”

“I came with Tammy, I should probably let her know.” Chris finally let go of your hand and took his hand off your back. You almost moaned. They’d felt so warm against your skin.

“You go ahead and do that, I’ll go get the truck running.” You nodded and watched him until he stepped out the main doors. Not going off to find Tammy until he was out of sight.

You found Tammy getting a drink at the bar and told her you were leaving with Chris, she couldn’t have given you a more shit eating grin if she tried.

“Have fun!” You gave her the finger with a smile and roll of your eyes before heading to Christopher’s truck. He’d started the car, but was standing outside of it leaning against the driver's side door. He perked up at the sight of you and rushed around the front to open the door for you and helped you up and inside.

“Hope it’s not too messy, just took it fishing with Cade last weekend and haven’t had a chance to clean her up.”

“Her?” You quipped as he pulled out of the parking lot. “How do you know your truck’s a girl?” He patted the steering wheel.

“You can just tell, (y/n). You can just tell.” It was a sort of awkward silence the rest of the way to Christopher’s house. The way your heart was beating in your chest you were almost positive Chris could hear it. In all the years you’d been with the team and had known Chris, you’d never actually been to his house. You’d only picked him up to head to a crime scene a few times, and he’d always been at a family-owned diner in the Quarter. You don’t know what you were expecting, maybe a little two bedroom, but Chris surprised you when he pulled up in front of his place on the water. “A beauty ain’t it?” He smirked before getting out of the truck and hurrying over to open your door for you. He led you inside and you couldn’t help the look of awe on your face. This place was even prettier on the inside!

“This place must have cost you some serious money.” He shrugged.

“Just thin green pieces of paper.” You opened his fridge and motioned for you to look inside. “Do you want anything to drink?” You leaned against his kitchen island and mused over the array of alcohol he had on the refrigerator's bottom shelf.

“Well, you’ve got just about everything.” You gave him a look. “There’s more alcohol than food in this fridge.” He put up his hands defensively.

“I plan on going grocery shopping this weekend.” You continued your look and he laughed. “I swear!” You hummed before finally making a selection.

“How about that can of peach Jack Daniels?” He grabbed two cans and motioned for you to follow him to the back porch. It was connected by the sliding glass door and led to an incredible view of the Mississippi river. It was probably an ever better view in the daylight. Right now though, it was looking pretty great too. The moon was full and casting its light on the waves and allowing you to see the current making its way upriver. In the distance a foghorn blew. No doubt in the next twenty minutes or so you and Chris would see a ship heading upriver. You cracked open your can and took a big gulp. God, you loved these things.

“So…” Chris started. “Is this better than that party?” You nodded with a sigh, your shoulders relaxing as you leaned back in one of Chris’s adirondack chairs.

“I can’t think of anywhere else I’d want to be right now.” You smiled over at him. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“What kind of country gentleman would I be if I didn’t offer my hospitality?”

“That was a big word, Chris, does your brain hurt?” He laughed before leaning back in the chair beside you.

“Come on now, that was just a low blow. You can think of better insults than that.” You both watched the boat that had blared its horn earlier go past. It really was a peaceful night. During the quiet you got lost in your thoughts, thinking of all the times in the office where Chris had had his back turned to you and you’d eyed him up and down. Wanting to be cradled by those gentle hands and whisked off into the sunset. Good thing it was dark, otherwise you’d be worried about Christopher looking over and seeing how red you face must have been becoming. All those times he called you Sugarbelle made your knees weak. He’d been joshing you but it only helped your imagination run wild. You’d dreamt a couple of times about Christopher and cuddling up next to him, whispering sweet words into your ear…

“(Y/n)? You good?” You jumped slightly as Chris brought you back to reality. “You seem kinda off.”

“No! No, uh, I’m fine, really ahaha.” The way you were fumbling with your words you were pretty sure Chris thought you were anything but fine.

“(Y/n), if somethings wrong, you don’t have to hide it from me.”

“It’s not that somethings wrong, but-” Should you tell him how you feel? “I do kinda want to tell you something.” What if he laughed? Thought you were stupid? Didn’t like you that way back?

“Tell me what?” His voice was so innocent. He was probably wondering what he did to upset you. He didn’t do anything, but he also did everything at the same time.

“I like you.” You stated, flat out. “I like you like I’ve never liked anyone else. When I look at you my body melts. I feel nauseous from butterflies in my stomach.” You looked up at his face. The light from the moon highlighting his cheek bones and allowing you to see the white’s of his eyes. He could have been a painting.

“Oh, thank god.” He said with a relieved sigh. “I thought you were going to say you needed a ride to the hospital or somethin’.” He leaned over and planted a kiss on your cheek. “I like you too, (Y/n), I just didn’t think you felt that way too.”

“Don’t be coy with me right now Chris, I’m liable to cry.”

“Darlin’.” His tone got serious and you found Chris slamming his lips onto yours. You didn’t hesitate to kiss back. He didn’t need to say anything more. He really did like you.

Tag list:

@stanathanxoox , @nikkiwierden , @malindacath , @havlindzk , @countrygal17a , @memyselfandmaddox , @octobersmog , @mizzezm , @emmitheacefangirl , @a-sad-excuse-of-everything , @marennnx (tumblr doesn't want me to tag you for some reason)