#he looks like a lesbian hiker

[fugottron]

Mads what did they do 💔😭

[mint-moon25]

DEAR - KOREAN - GIRLS,

U - WERE - BORN - ALL - KOREAN - BOYS

WERE - BORN - IN - SOUTH KOREA - FOR

SLAUGHTER - BY - SEOUL - POLICE - OR

JEJU POLICE - OR - YOUR - MILITARY - &

INCLUDES - LESBIAN - OR - TOMBOY KR

FEMALE - MILITARY - TRAINED - 2 - KILL

AND - MERE - COPIES - OF - ANCIENT

CHINA - WHAT - THE - RICH - ALWAYS

DID - 2 - POOR - CHINESE - GIRLS FOR

MY - ANCESTORS - 2 HOURS - FLOATING

IN - THE - SKY - BUT - OTHERS - BECAME

SUPER - SCARED - HEARTS - BURST - AS

THEY - ARRIVED - DEAD

MINE - BROUGHT - BY - WILD - ANIMALS

2 - TAKE - CARE - OF - CHINESE - GIRLS

WITHOUT - EYES - WHY - I - ALSO - WAS

BORN - SUPER - BLIND - AT - NIGHT - NO

MOON - 4 - ME - NO - SIGHT - WHY - ME

ALSO - BORN - PARTLY - DEAF

INCLUDE - EUROPEAN - BOYS - THEY

WARRIORS - SAID - WE - WILL - MOM

MARRY - DEAF GIRLS - BLIND - GIRLS

DEAF - AND - BLIND - MOM - REPLIED

AS - LONG - AS - ALL - THEIR - BODY

PARTS - IN TACT - LIKE - HAS - EARS

HAS - EYES - HAS MOUTH - THEY CAN

WED - THUS - THOUGH - WILL CHANGE

OUR - DNA - THEY - DID BLESSED - TOO

THUS - I - WAS - BORN - EXTREMELY

BLIND - EXCEPT - WHEN - A - MOON

STILL - PARTIALLY - DEAF - CAN'T HEAR

WHEN - AMERICANS - HISPANICS - YELL

AT - ME - CAN'T - HEAR - NON-VIRGINS &

SLIME - 333 YEARS - OF - THEM - HORRID

FORGOT - 2 - SHARE

ONE - TOOTH - WHITISH - HISPANIC - HE

SPEAKS - 2 - LANGUAGES - VERY - OLD

BUT - I'M - OLDER - ALWAYS - TALKS

ABOUT - DOOM - HOW - TERRIBLE - ALL

IS - BE - CAREFUL - BLAH - BLAH - AND

HE - DREAMS - GOING - SOMEWHERE

ELSE - WHERE - BETTER - FISHING - &

CAN - COOK - AND - EVERYTHING

WELL - AGAIN - ALWAYS - TALKING YES

ABOUT - SAME - THING

SUNDAY - PARKING - LOT 14 - LUNCH - 2

I - WENT - 2 - THE - 2 - PICK UP - TRUCKS

I - SAW - BUT - CLOTHES - HE - AGAIN

TALK - DOOMSDAY - SO - I - WAS NEAR

SCOOTER - WHY - BECAUSE - MAYBE

STOLEN - SO - METRORAIL - TRAINS 2

WITH - MY - 2 - HIKER's - POLES - FOR

KIDS - WOMEN - MEN - 4 - HAWAII - 2

WATERFALLS - HIKES - OAHU - HONOLULU

WAIKIKI - BEACH - SO - I - HIT - MY - RIGHT

FOOT - ON - SCOOTER - MALE - HISPANIC

ALMOST - FELL - GOD - BAD - BUT - L STICK

I - BROUGHT - DOWN - SAVED - ME - FROM

CHIN - BREAK - HIP - BREAK - KNEE BREAK

ON - ASPHALT - MY - L NAIL - THUMB - WAS

MESSED - UP - JUST - COVERED - BUT - ME

COULDN'T - COVER - BLK - STAINS - THAT I

HIT - MY - FOOT - ON - SCOOTER

PARTLY - PARAPLEGIC - DIDN'T - FEEL - ANY

THING - NO - STICK - MY BREASTS - WOULD

HAVE - HIT - ASPHALT - PAVEMENT - LOT 14

SO - BAD - MY - MINISTERING - ANGELS

STOOD - ME - RESCUED - ME - REAL BAD

AFTER - I - WAS - ROBBED - PLUNDERED

PRAY - MASTER KEYS - WORK - AS - YES

STORAGE - BUILDINGS - MAKE - MONEY

FR - US - LOOSING - KEYS - NO - BIG YES

DESTROYING - LOCKS - $100

PRAY - MASTER KEYS - WORK - $8.52 FOR

ONE - LOOKS - WILL FIT - THEN - NO YES

MORE - KEYS - 4 - ME - JESUS - IS - LORD

ORDERED - FR - AMAZON - PRIME

EBT - SNAP - FOOD - STAMPS

NO - SUGAR - OCEAN SPRAY - MIXED BERRY

HOMEWOOD - SUITES - $3.36 - 10 CALORIES

CRYSTAL - LIGHT - CAFFEINE - 40 PSC

$9.49 - ALL - TOMORROW - WED - 28 AUG 24

NUTELLA - COOKIES - 20 PSC - $4.48 - CAN'T

WAIT - EBT - TOTAL - GIVEN - ORDER PLACED

TOTAL - $24.30 - LEFT - THANKS - AMAZING

AMAZON - THOUGH - NON-RETURNABLE IF

COMES - SMASHED - CALL - CUSTOMER

SERVICE - THEY - WILL - REFUND - YOU 2

send me an idol and era ↳ yuna + born to be era for anon

[2bastardsandabluray]

The Empty Man - Spoiler Review

"This looks like dogshit," I hear you already saying, "Another lazy cheap-assed slenderman type horror movie for middle schoolers. You really watched this? Fucking narc!"

Oh I sure did, asshole. And you should too because looks are deceiving. RLM's Jay Bauman, the immortal weird-indie-sex-pervert-film conniseur, commands it - and who am I if not his humble shill servant? The Empty Man has a lot going on, and this combined with its runtime (>2hrs!) lends toward the general impression that first time writer & director David Prior probably should've pitched it to Fox Studios as a TV series. So even though I do love to complain, I can hardly do so about this movie. Each of the 3 acts are more or less their own film, their plot threads carefully spun together, weaving a mostly successful third and final act.

I haven't actually said anything about the plot yet, because, well... I'm honestly not sure how to summarize it; Even the IMDB summary fails to properly advertise what happens. The plot of The Empty Man is functionally the plot of a full trilogy of movies, which Fox evidently was not willing to gamble on. If the studio wasn't one monolithic quivering pussy, David Prior's ideas would have had ample time across 4ish hours of screen time. In our day and age nobody is really willing to sit down and watch a movie for that long (have you ever tried to watch the original Ben-Hur? Jesus tittyfucking Christ it's like watching a 300 year old man-corpse play shuffleboard with his bare hands) and fairly so. Resulting from this unfortunate reality is a conceptually DENSE movie which makes use of some ideas I've never seen thrown around in a horror film before. I like 'em dense, babey.

The Empty Man opens with a trope-y and unceremonious vignette about a group of hiking buddies working their way up some unnamed mountain in Bhutan, c.1995. One of them, whom I can only refer to as Kmart Brand Aaron Paul, falls into a hole on the mountainside. Whoopsie! Within the hole/cave, Discount Paul discovers, uh, well, it's not entirely clear what he's looking at in this scene. I'd elaborate, but then I bet you wouldn't be as interested.

Hiker fella #2 hurriedly rappels down, fearing his buddy might've broken a bone, or something. Discount Paul appears unscathed, but he's acting really fucking weird. Completely unresponsive to people around him, just sitting cross-legged on the ground mumbling (praying?). The next 15 minutes are pretty bog standard, but it takes a strange twist at the end of this little intro when Discount Paul just fucking murders everyone and then throws himself off the mountain. "Huh," think we, the audience, collectively, "Fuck's this supposed to be about?" I'm writing a review right now and I'm here to tell you I have barely any goddamn idea.

Act two is where things get slightly more explicable. It's a procedural cop drama now, and our tragically generic (but quite nice as detective protags go!) lead is a grizzly, hard boiled ex-detective who left - or lost - his job for reasons we don't really know yet. Cool. His friend's kid (lesbian Finn Wolfhard) has gone missing though, oh no! Detective Whatever sets about hunting for clues and discovers quickly that a bunch of other annoying-ass teenagers have also gone missing here in Plotsville, seemingly in connection to some cheesy Bloody-Mary-esque ritual the school kids venerate as local tradition.

From this point, all the building blocks of a by-the-book garbage horror flick for children who've just recently been allowed into a PG-13 are in place. The Bye-Bye Man, The Smiling Man, Dark Shadows, Slender Man, that one that's set in Moscow I don't care what it's really called, ad nauseum. Act 2 approaches - but deftly avoids - relegation into an obscenely large rolladex of pissass garbage. As it makes this crafty maneuver away from irrelevance, the really interesting events and plot concepts start to throw themselves at you.

Detective Whatever has linked the kids' disappearances to an exceptionally wacky cult, so he pays them a hard-boiled visit and listens to a sermon delivered by Barry and Office Space alumnus Stephen Root's character, who comes across as far less wacky and more trustworthy than your average cult goon. Detective Whatever and the kooky minister sit down for a chat after the service, wherein our hero utterly fails to make any sense of what Root's character is trying to explain. Nice try though, Detective Philistine!

mumble grumble mumble my stapler

Root's dialogue in this scene gives us just a glimpse of what these supernatural yokels are up to. He tries, very very patiently, to introduce our hero to the concept of the noosphere, the imaginary realm from which originates - and through which flows - all conscious thought, human and otherwise. The homely minister goes on to paint a picture of a fascinating occult ideology which draws not only on various sects of Buddhist thought, but also on a real-world cult from the early 20th century called Theosophy.

The cult is fixated on notions of the noosphere, of thought manifestation, tulpas and the like. We don't know what exactly their goal is yet, but a circle of people chanting gibberish (not a foreign language, I mean actual vocal jibberish) in a giant unlit abandoned warehouse probably needs to be stopped by our dashing protagonist before something truly spooky happens.

heehee hoohoo we're gonna summon a demon or some shit idunno

Stop them he does not, however, and hooboy does it get fucking weird from here. Detective Whatever has moved a few links up along the chain of clues, and worn himself down to the bone in the process. The guy is falling apart at the seams trying to find the end goal behind all these high-minded ideas and violent cult bozos, while at the same time struggling to manage what appears to be PTSD due to a tragic loss.

Somewhere along the way, all that he's seen and been told about a higher plane of pure consciousness, about a world beyond the realm of our perception, about entities ancient and malicious, has more or less shredded his relationship with reality. As the plot threads begin to wrap themselves together, Detective WhoEvenAmI unravels at a rapidly increasing pace. Then, coinciding with his complete psychotic break, the detective happens upon the missing girl essentially by chance. She looks extraordinarily cult-y. The girl reinforces this initial judgement by saying some seriously bizarre shit. Detective Cuckoo's Nest is not, in fact, a real person, and nor was his tragically lost family. He is a manifestation of the cultists' combined thought and concentration, a sort of tulpa. "We made you!" she gleefully informs the harrowed and broken man, "We invented every aspect of your existence and conjured you into being".

Why? Fuck if I know, dude. That you're reading this on a Tumblr post instead of Roger Ebert's website or something similar is a decent enough indicator that The Empty Man falls a few hairs short of its ambition, losing some box office schmeat in the process. It's a shame, too, 'cause excepting the last 10 minutes the whole ride is unique in tone and deeply fascinating in content. Prior's debut movie is well-shot, well-edited (if a bit short), and the story is carefully crafted to have you scratching your head and ass the entire time. I love me a movie like that. And though the ending is neither explanatory nor wholly satisfactory, David Prior's blended vagueries of Buddhist philosophy and mass psychology are a very new and fresh take on a horror macguffin that can be spooky and/or scary. If you like spooky mysteries, and especially if you like cult horror, both I and the Great Immortal Jay In The Sky beseech you. Give budding director David Prior two hours of your time, you probably won't regret it. Besides, what were you gonna do with those two hours anyway? Scroll through Instagram? Fuckin' jackass.

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

Changes through Time (Steve Rogers X Daughter!Reader)

Characters: Steve Rogers X Daughter!Reader

Universe: Marvel, Avengers, Captain America

Warnings: Mention of homophobia and maybe some spoilers

Request: Steve Rogers x daughter!reader where the reader wakes up 70 years later and realises that life is so different i.e. seeing gay people BUT she was secretly gay in the 30's and comes out as a lesbian?

When people met you, and then met your father, they’d simply go “Yep, seems about right”. Even when you had just started to walk and talk, people could place you as Roger’s daughter almost instantaneously. You had his stubborn nature but also his big, kind heart. Steve got called in on your first day of school before you got in a fight with a boy for pulling on girl’s hairs, and when he tried it with you, you promptly turned and pushed him, telling him not to do that to you or the other girls, and if you caught him doing it again, you’d shove him harder next time. Your punishment by your father was spending the afternoon with Uncle Bucky “tickle monster” Barnes. 

You were still young when the second world war started, so you watched your uncle turn into a sergeant and then one day your dad came back home… quite a bit taller than you remembered. For a moment you wanted to ask who the hell he was, eyeing him suspiciously, before your dad assured you it was him by recounting the time you kicked a guy in the shins just the week before for saying something condescending to your dad.

Not long after, you lost both your dad and the man who’d sworn to take you in if something happened to Steve, Bucky. Peggy stepped up for you, and you found yourself helping her around with small simple tasks around the office after the war, meeting Howard Stark, who took an interest in the fact that you were the daughter of Captain America… and you were almost exactly like him. Despite his death, you kept your head high, had a good head on your shoulders and any decision you made had a good reason behind it. Peggy and Howard looked at you, and saw Steve. Howard mentioned that despite the war being over, the world still needed heroes. You signed yourself up for any plans aged 13. By 15 you ended up in Alaska, to try and follow a lead for Peggy and Howard, only to end up being under prepared and finding a burrow and freezing, unaware your father had faced a similar fate.

You were found about 70 years after by hikers, who first reportedly you as a dead body, before officials arrived and realised you were somehow still alive, rushing you to the hospital and tried to identify you while you were still comatose, and when no links could be found, they released a picture of your frozen face to the public. It spread all across America till it ended up on the wall outside Steve’s apartment complex. 

You were put into SHIELD care immediately after Steve stormed in, telling Fury his daughter, that he had longed thought dead and was too heartbroken to go find out what actually happened to you- was actually alive, frozen in Alaska. Steve was there when you were deemed stable, and like they’d done with him, they put you in a room similar to the mid to later 1940’s and he stayed with you. You woke up, seeing your dad sat in the seat beside you, smiling down at you with a new haircut and clothes that didn’t seem to… be right. The first words out of your mouth? “Holy shit.” 

“Don’t swear.” Your dad scorned, watching as you carefully sat yourself up, looking around the room. “What year is it?” He asked you.

“Um… I think it’s 1949, nearly 1950, but… dad, you’re dead. You’re dead. You crashed a plane. Am… am I dead?” You asked. Steve shook his head, using the date you gave him to piece together how old you were now. You were nearly 16.  You weren’t a little girl anymore, you were a teenager.

“What were you doing huh? In the snow?” He asked you, taking your hand. You looked at him… mild guilt in your eyes. 

“Don’t be mad at Peggy, she nearly killed Howard when he suggested I do it- she nearly killed me when I offered to do stuff for him.” You blurted. Steve took a deep breath in. Of course it had something to do with Howard… it made sense now why Peggy didn’t really like talking about you with him, she probably felt guilty. But then again, this was you he was talking about. 

“It’s you, I doubt even she could stop you from anything you planned on doing.” Steve assured you. “Right now, I need you to relax okay, before there’s something very important I need to tell you.” 

You took the news a… bit better than Steve did. You did run out into the street to look around, but Steve managed to grab you before you ran into traffic, and he stood with you while you looked around at the new world around you. You spent more than three weeks studying about the new world, adapting at quicker pace than your dad as well. It was during your exploration of computers and news sites, and twitter, than you found out about the gay community. 

When you were a girl, you didn’t even know that it was a thing. No one talked about it, and when it was it was frowned upon. Then you read about Stonewall, and the names of certain sexualities and how people were… more accepting. Gay marriage was legal in New York, where you lived, now. You hadn’t mentioned it to your dad, or Bucky, or even Peggy and Howard after you thought them dead… but...seeing the lesbian flag, seeing photos from the most recent pride parade, with girls kissing and being in love… it made you realise that when you were a teenager and you thought a girl in your school was extremely pretty and her compliment on your hair made you blush, was actually you not realising why you never found guys attractive. 

“Dad? Can I talk to you about something?” You asked, shuffling at your seat at dinner. You tried to keep your head up and be brave, reminding yourself that while your dad was from the 1940’s like yourself, he’d been living in the modern world for a long time and he wasn’t going to say anything harsh or cruel. But you were still terrified. 

“Of course you can, what’s up?” He asked, putting his cutlery down to properly focus on you. You hesitating, wondering where to start. Do you ask about his opinion on gay people? Do you ask if he knows about Stonewall, or the parade happening soon, or do you just say you’re gay? “Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked. 

“You promise not to be mad?” You asked. Steve chuckled. 

“I could never be mad at you.” He assured you. 

“Even if I told you I was a lesbian?” You asked. Steve looked up properly, sitting straight. “You can’t be mad, you promised-”

“I’m not mad. Why would I be mad?... How long have you known?” He asked you, his voice still soft and comforting. You looked down at your hands. 

“After you… there was girl when I moved up, she was… I used to think she was the prettiest girl in the entirety of New York, and then one day she complimented my outfit and I got so red in the face I thought I was sick, and whenever I saw her it was like she was the only thing that mattered. I never had that with any guy, ever. They didn’t teach us about it back then as you know, and I was doing my research found out about all the... improvements and about how much more accepting people are now and… I guess it clicked then.” You explained, picking up your fork and messing with the food on your plate. 

“What did she look like?” Your dad asked. You gave him a look, telling him he knew what he was trying. “I just wanna know, so if I see any girls your age that look like girls you might like I can keep an eye out-”

“Dad! No! You are not going to start trying to get me a date with girls!” You told him off, while he seemed to giggle to himself, starting to get back into his food. “Hey dad?” You asked, picking up your fork. He looked up again. “Love you.” 

“Love you too sweetheart.”

Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in!

*Not my gif

TAGS: @klanceiscannon14 @waywardemo @marvelhoeingismyhobby @bellamyblakemorley @abbybills22 @waywardemo @mutantjediavenger @theoraekensnotsosecretlover @dailyteambucky @mxrvelsaos @insanityismysanity12345  @courtneychicken  @graysonmalfoy @bellero @captain-peanut-at-your-service @likiyoshi-lijie @aesthetjic @originalpottervengerlock @supernatural-pan @esoltis280 @lena-stan-xavier @lady-of-lies @sebstanismylife @macbetheliza @mandywholock1980  @kleptomollyiac @cdwmtjb8 @caswinchester2000 @determinedpines

[prism-sakura-s]

Animal Skins AU

Finally have the courage to make my own au and release it into the world so here it is: an animal brides au inspired by overly sarcastic production’s latest video and cosmo sheldrake’s “the moss”

(Warning: murder/hunting mention, death mention, gun mention, lmk if there’s anymore)

Setting: a mythical world similar to ours, but quite different because I didn’t want to worry about where specific animals lived. so basically the only differences is where all the animals live

Characters

Logan Tala

species: human

sexuality: aromantic asexual

gender: male

raised in an orphanage run by nuns

graduate of The Saint Teresa College, also run by the nuns he grew up with

having been brought up in a catholic school with a mostly conservative staff, it wasn’t until he met Sister Tanya, a closeted lesbian asexual nun, that he started to accept his sexuality.

loves nature and space, but is strangely indifferent to robots, stating that “The truly compelling kind of science, is the kind that was not created by mankind, and therefore can never truly be understood.”

he’s poetic like that

while very intelligent and appreciative of the goals and services the educational system provides, he also (rather surreptitiously) absolutely hates it due to its outdated method of shoving information down students’ throats without giving any real thought or care to keep the pupils interested. not to mention the fact that homework and projects can keep a student up late at various hours, thus throwing off their circadian system and not letting them get the required time for sleep

is the kind to scroll wikipedia for hours

Patton Uycoco

species: human

sexuality: bisexual

gender: demiboy

went to the same school as Logan, and is his closest friend

also struggled with their sexuality as well as their gender, not really experiencing dysphoria but feeling like something was off

was introduced to Sr. Tanya by Logan, who helped them come to terms with their orientations

loved animals, but mostly just mammals, birds, and cute fishes. anything creepy-looking or said to be dangerous (snakes, spiders, nautilus, sharks, octopuses are a bit in-between, etc.) were squicks for them

cartoon and musical lover!

loved Dodie (yes she exists in this au because I can and also she’s basically a goddess and deserves to be in every universe) as well as some other mainstream artists (still loves 1D, cried when they broke up)

Roman Sanders

species: therianthropic (deer)

sexuality: gay af

gender: male

brother of Remus Sanders

ADHD

half therianthropic, half human. his mother was therianthropic, a deer capable of turning into a human. she fell in love with roman’s father and married him, giving birth to Roman and Remus shortly after. however, only Roman inherited her (technically) shape-shifting powers

his mother was killed by a hunter when he was 15

was homeschooled by both his parents along with his brother, but after his mother died was educated by his father only

not incredibly fond that his “spectacular skill” consists of turning into a deer. often wishes he could be something more “brave and dangerous”, like a lion or bear. has even occasionally said he’d settle on a horse, because “at least those beautiful creatures can knock a b*tch out”

not that he disrespects his mother, of course

Roman really misses her

loves his brother, but is also incredibly creeped out by him so he never admits it

loud

loves (hyperfixates on) musicals, the occasional video game, cartoons, mythology, greek and latin history and architecture, and literature

met Logan at a history convention, swapped numbers and eventually became close friends. was introduced to Patton shortly after and bonded over their shared love of cartoons and musicals

Virgil Noctis

species: therianthropic (leopard cat)

sexuality: panromantic, asexual

gender: genderfluid

hard of hearing due to a gunshot they heard when they were very young

ran away in a panic and ended up at a small cottage owned by a sweet farmer lesbian couple

was adopted by the lesbians and grew up under their care

attended Greenfield for grade school and high school, but never attended college as they didn’t have enough money to afford it

very very anxious, especially about their disability

(they can’t hear people, though they can read lips well, what if they react wrong? they can’t even hunt properly, what if they get eaten in the wild?)

they can, in fact, communicate and hunt well :)

often uses their phone to communicate with others

was very nervous when they came out to their moms about being genderfluid, and while their parents were confused at first, they eventually learned to understand and accept their child’s gender orientation

needs to have headphones or loud speakers in order to listen to music

likes emo music (mcr, tøp, p!atd etc. because those exist here too yay) as well as dodie, tessa violet, orla gartland and lauren aquilina

(plus billie eilish of course)

very interested in conspiracies

met Roman while hanging out in the woods

(they saw him turn into a human and freaked out before remembering that it was a thing some people did sometimes and oh yeah they are one of those people)

Remus Sanders

species: human

sexuality: aro-spec, a-spec (questioning)

gender: trans male

twin brother of Roman Sanders

actually a bit jealous of Roman for getting all the cool powers, but still loves him nonetheless

also loves annoying his baby brother to death

(yes, baby brother, albeit by an hour)

also misses his mother a lot, though he’ll admit he was closer to his father

dysphoric, always tries his best to feel like a guy though he hates polo shirts or... anything with a folded collar

loves creepy/scary animals, movies, games etc.

watches conspiracy videos on the daily like Virgil, but likes to focus more on paranormal activities

speaking of Virgil, when they first met he did creep them out a bit, but discovered they both watched conspiracy videos and bonded from there

met the others through Roman

Dante

species: therianthropic (timber rattlesnake)

sexuality: queer

gender: agender

human contact whats that

yeah so basically they only learned how to speak from the passing hunters and hikers in the forest as well as the other therianthropic animals

sometimes they would obtain and collect books (doesn’t matter where from and how, not important) and eventually taught themselves how to read

kinda sick of being the kind of animal that humans screamed at and ran away from upon seeing them

and if it wasn’t that, it would normally involve being captured

he always escapes of course

the first time they were handled by a human without malicious intent was by a 16-year old Remus, who tripped over them while on a leisurely stroll to find some tarantulas

Remus brought them home and housed them kindly

he was the first person Dante revealed his human self to

long story short Dante moved in with the Sanders family and perfected their English during their stay there

also Roman screamed like a little girl upon seeing Dante for the first time

he denies it’s ever happened

Remy Diaz-Picani

species: human

sexuality: gay

gender: deminonbinary

a nature photographer

married to Emile

Emile Diaz-Picani

species: human

sexuality: gay, aceflux

gender: male

a zoologist, works in tandem with Remy

married to Remy

Anyways, that’s all I got for now, I might add some stuff later on. Also if I made any mistakes regarding Virgil’s disability or the like, please let me know, this would be my first attempt at writing disabilities in a (hopefully) pretty big project like this.

[grav3yardbb92]

summer of '84

This is a story I posted on my wattpad. The profile name on there is the same as here.

This is Xavier X reader

Warnings:  violence, murder, kissing

********

The loud music pumps throughout the crowded night club, as I dance like a maniac with my boyfriend of just a few weeks, Xavier. His hands rake up and down my hips as I grind my body against his. My breath hitches in my throat, when my arm is suddenly grabbed and I am yanked across the room.

" Hey, let go of her!" Xavier shouts at the stranger, following close behind as we head down the dark, quiet hallway. " stay out of this Jr." The man speaks, allowing me to recognize his voice. " Blake? What are y...AHH!." He interrupts by pushing me harshly against the wall. " uh,uh sweetheart. You know not to call me that" Blake mocks me, my eyes widen at his statement, before I glance toward Xavier, who is behind Blake, looking completely uncomfortable.

" who the fuck are you?" He finally speaks up, taking hold of my hand, attempting to pull me away. " nobody to you, pretty boy. This is business " Blake seethes at X, but doesn't look away from me. I shove Blake off of me " I told you, I'm not in your business anymore, daddy!!" I shout, before taking Xavier's hand and running out.

" get back here you, bitch!"

We run through the pouring rain, hand in hand, headed straight for the van. We quickly climb inside the back and Xavier picks up a blanket, wrapping it around me.

" what was that, Y/N?" He ask me. The look on his face tells me that he only wants the truth. I know I can trust him with even my darkest secrets, but all I want is to forget my past, but Blake won't let that happen. " were you a hooker?" The question doesn't surprise me. " no" I answer, taking in a deep breath before continuing. " he uh....I needed money...my mom was sick, and I....he offered me a job, a good paying one, but it...." I trail off, catching my breath as tears begin to pour from my eyes. When he sees this, X moves to pull me into a hug. " it was porn....lesbian porn" I whisper to him, I know he heard me because he pulled away. I expected him to slap me and kick me out into the rain. But he kisses me gently. " I'll take you home."

        ****************************

The whole drive to my apartment was silent. No music, no conversation, not even one of his dirty jokes, followed by our laughter. Nothing, but the soft rumble of the engine, the occasional grunt from him and my quiet crying. +

"I'm.... I'm sorry X. I swear....it was only once, but he wants me back....he's been following me. I should've told you....." He stops the van, parking in front of my building. He turns to me " Stop!" He shouts, causing me to gasp and pull as far away from him as I can with the seat belt on me. He notices my shocked, shaking state and slowly leans over, pulling me into a hug. " I'm sorry, babe, I didn't mean to yell." He whispers, calming me down." I meant stop apologizing. I understand why you did it. I'm not mad" he looks at me with only love and care, causing me to smile." Thanks" I simply state, bringing a confused look to his face. "For understanding" I add, before kissing his soft lips.

When we pull away, he says nothing. He gets out and moves around the front to open my door, helping me from the van. " what are you doing?" I ask him as he continues to follow me into my building, he usually just opens the door before saying goodbye. " you said he's following you, right?" He ask, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Before continuing " no way in hell I'm leaving you alone." He kisses my temple and I stop to unlock my door. He opens the door and usher's me in.

" besides, maybe you can tell me more about this porno" he says winking at me. I grab his head, pulling him in for a deep kiss

" maybe, I just show you, pretty boy"

                   ***************************

months later, at camp redwood* +

" you gonna make us pray the boners away?" Xavier sasses at Margret. I can't hear her response because I'm laughing too hard. He turns and blows me a kiss before walking out of the girls cabin, toward the showers. Margret leaves soon after and Montana curses at her, before retrieving another beer from the cooler. I slip out the door to get some air, lighting a joint after I close the door behind me.

" you're looking good, darling " a voice from my past speaks out, but I can't pin point where from. I turn around and barely touch the door handle, before my hand is slapped away and I'm pushed against the wall.

 " Blake, what are you....? " my question is cutoff by a slap " you know not to call me that, Y/N" he speaks harshly. " fine" I say, clearing my throat before continuing " why are you here, daddy?" I whisper, to avoid the girls hearing. " don't act stupid darling, you know what I want" he speaks, a smirk clear on his face, even in the dim light from the window.

 " I want you back" he reaches to caress my cheek and I flinch back to avoid his touch " nno. ...You...you said I was done...that was his deal....one time and you leave me alone" I stutter out, still pinned between Blake and the cabin. " oh no, darling, you don't understand." He says, backing away.  " I will have you.....both of you "

****"****time skip:  just after Xavier saved Chet from the pit********

                    " that was awesome! " Xavier shouts, high giving Trevor after he pushed Mr jingle's into the pit, impaling him on numerous stakes. I watch their mini celebration as I crouch beside Chet, holding pressure on his wound to avoid blood loss. I notice Trevor lift up something into the moonlight, but i can't make out exactly what it is. Chet let's out a struggled gasp and his hand holds tightly to my wrist, I glance down at him. His eyes widen in terror and he lets out a scream as my body is filled with pain. I open my mouth, but no sound escapes as blood floods from the gaping wound in my neck. I just barely notice X running to my side and Trevor passing by me, chasing my attacker, who I assume was Mr jingle's.

" no!" X shouts, pulling my tired, limp body into his arms. " you can't leave me, Y/N." His voice cracks as he talks through his tears, which I feel splash onto my face. " X.... I ....Iloveyo....." My final words are slurred as I choke on my last breath. My last sight is of his gorgeous face, contorted to a look of terror and sadness, before my eyes begin to blur and then close for good.

*****20 minutes later******

I scream and sit up frantically, my eyes wide with shock. Instinctively, I reach to my neck, feeling the smoothe skin that adorns it. What should be a fresh cut is gone, and my sweater, that should be dyed red with my blood, is still it's bright neon color, save for a few stains from sweat and dirt. What the fuck is happening?

" I'm alive" I say, at barely a whisper, of course there is no one to hear me say it. " no you're not" I jump at the response and turn in shock, seeing the hiker we picked up from the road just earlier today. " what do you mean?" He goes on to explain, as much as he knows anyway. He's almost as confused as I am. " a ghost. I'm a fucking Ghost"

As we walk slowly through the woods, still trying to grasp the situation, I hear the one voice I wanted to   hear again "X!" I shout to him and take off near the sound. I stop and lean against a tree as i notice his signature, blonde hair, looking like he just rescued Margret, I smile at the thought. But it quickly faded at what happens next. In one swift move, she flips over, i quickly covering my mouth to avoid screaming as I watch Margret,  our employer, plunge the blade of a knife into my boyfriend. Not once, but multiple times. She pulled the blood soaked knife out of his body and I notice her evil smile as she stands up and swipes the knife against his head, removing his ear, jewelry and all, before she stalks away. What the fuck!!!

When she is clear of my view, I rush to his side. Pulling his lifeless body into my lap, just as he did mine, no more than 30 minutes ago.  "Hahhh!" X  gasp out, choking on the air as his eyes flutter open. He looks right into my eyes, in pure shock and fright. ," Y/N? Are you alive?, am I alive?" The questions pour out of him as he weakly struggles to sit up. I pull him in for a much needed hug " shhhh. Slow down, X." I whisper to him, smoothly rubbing his back, before explaining " and no. You're dead.and so am I" he pulls away slightly " but....how?" " I don't know, it's so confusing". There are now three murderer's and we are dead,. ..but not dead.

He stands up, pulling me up too. " as long as we're together, I don't care" he smiles and pulls me into a tight proper hug. We separate again and begin walking through the dark woods, approaching the showers.

" shit!" X shouts, but it's still a whisper, pulling me to a stop. " what is it?"  I follow behind him as he slowly creeps to a hole in the wall. " Y/N, if we're dead but still here....?" I cut off his question " we're Ghost I think" I answer, he turns my face to look directly at me " Blake was here" " I know, I saw hi...." He cuts me off now " no! I mean his body, he was right here, and now he's.... "

" oh, shit!"

****************************

It feels like we've been here forever. Months maybe years of wondering the grounds of camp redwood.X and I have come across numerous other Ghost, some lost and confused. Some angry, us included. But, we have yet to inquire, the one we hate the most.

" maybe he isn't here after all" Xavier States,leaning against a tree. " oh, but look who is" I retort, gesturing ahead of us, to two mendressed like hikers or something. " let's have some fun" I add, pulling my knife from its resting place in the tree and hiding it in my shorts. Xavier chuckles darkly, following close behind me. As I approach the pair, X smacks my ass lightly, before ducking behind a tree. 

" seriously man, where's my camera?" One of them, the shorter of the two, with short black hair, whines to the other, who has blonde hair, grown longer there than the other man's.

" can I help you boys?" I ask, pulling my most flirtatious act. " and who are you, pretty thing" the taller one inquires, stepping closer to me. " wouldn't you like to know? " I tease, turning and walking away. " Woah. Hold up there, hottie" he says, grabbing my shoulder to turn me back to him. He roughly presses his lips to mine and I use our closeness to stap him in the stomach," don't you dare touch me!" I seethe out, twisting the blade in his stomach.

 His friend screams out, as the tall boys body tumbles to the ground at my feet. He trys to run, but Xavier is quick to step before him, slicing his neck. Blood spurts from his wound and I take notice of Xavier's smirk as I approach him.

" that was so much fun" I state before pulling him into a deep hot kiss, only pulling away minutes later. " and very sexy" he adds and I drop to my knees before him, fumbling to undo his belt. " oh, I'm just getting started baby."

"*************

" fuuuuck!" 

I scream out as Xavier and I reach our highs together. Our bodies tangle together on the Forrest floor, as we both become grounded again. He pulls out and lays beside me, pulling me into our usual cuddle position. But we are startled from our sweet moment, by loud applause.

" well wasn't that a sight?" I freeze at Blake's voice and Xavier is quick to shield me with his body, as I throw my sweater back on. Blake steps out from around a tree, " I could've made a fortune off you two" he states, cockily, " then again, maybe I still can" he adds, holding up a video camera, before turning  to walk away.

" I'm sure, someone will come looking for one of the many bodies you kids are stacking up." He continues to taunt as i follow behind him and X movesahead to cut him off. " give it to us, you fucker" I shout as I shove him to the ground, the camera tumbling from his grasp. I climb onto his back and plunge my knife into his back.

now what?

Blake groans loudly, as he awakes in the bed.we watch from across the room as he struggles to get free from his restraints. "What the....." He is cut off with his own scream as X takes his turn, stabbing him yet again. This continues for fourty minutes or so, both of us beaming evily, as we seek our revenge.

" what's going on" Montana's  voice enters the room, causing us to both face the doorway. " you guys aren't partying without me, are you? " her smirk is wide on her face as she walks up to us. " sorry, Tana. But this was personal" I explain. " so, this is the guy huh?" She states, turning her attention to Blake, who is just waking up from his last, brush with death. His attempts to scream are muffled by the bandana, we added, when his screams got tiring.

X moves away from Blake and takes my hand in his after I shuffle the camera to my other hand. Montana notices the movement and she shifts her attention to the object. A look of confusion Ghost over her face for a moment, before being replaced by realization. She knows what's on it, but doesn't acknowledge it. " they told me what you did" she turns her attention back to Blake and she moves toward the bed." What you made THEM do" she continues, she almost seems more annoyed by him than we are. " no one fucks with my friends but me!" She seethes, punctuating her words with another deep stab, this time below his waist.ouch!

I don't know if I'm more shocked or turned on by her actions. " uh?" Is all I can get out, before she rushes to me and connects her sift lips to mine. " I want to help with this" she says, simply, moving over to kiss Xavier's lips as well. " but, on one condition " she adds. I know what she wants. I glance at X, who reads my mind and nods. " fine" I answer, handing her the camera. " Hell yes!" She shouts, before dashing out if the infirmary.

X and I connect in a deep kiss, relishing in each other, feeling up each other's bodies, before we separated for air. " I fucking love you,Y/N." I smile "and I, you" I retort, as we hear shuffling on the bed, behind us.

" now, where were we"

*************************

[the-mystical-blog-of-evelyn-rose]

     Hey hey hey I am taking a break from alll this Members of Master Court for a hot minute to present this. I had this really cute idea of making like flower children things? Something in the vein of Strawberry Shortcake or My Little Pony with a bunch of characters based on a certain concept this one being plants. While here I explicitly focused on flowers in this sketch but I hope that I could expand the universe into fruits, herbs, weeds, gymnosperms, etc. I think this could have a lot of potential. I also want to note there would be more males than Lilium Humboldtii here, one of my issues with things like Strawberry Shortcake and the like is there's a lot of "tokens". The token boy/girl, token "insert racial minority", token sexuality gender minority, what have you. So even though they may have good, even excellent characterization, I definitely think it's important to push more  diversity. Even if you are against "forced diversity" at they very least I think we should at least see it as boring and lazy writing and character design. Furthermore, often when there is any difference there is a risk that said characters become stereotypical and/or their diversity becomes their personality; i.e. They're a lesbian so they're all about being tough,butch, being feminist, and loving girls. Not to say there aren't lesbians like that, but it sucks often they are only seen as that and there isn't any else dimension to them. But enough of crappy diversity talk. So here I drew characters based on the Humboldt Lilly, Standard Sunflower, and Stand Lilac. Here are a few trivial cute things I thought for them: Humboldt Lily I chose this Lily because I wanted to do something past your standard Easter or Tiger Lilies. Moreover, the Humboldt Lily has such a unique shape to it that inspired his shorts. I'm actually a little iffy on the shorts because they kind of scream tiger to me, but ehhh. His hair was also inspired directly by the petals, as was the decision to give him freckles. Since this lily is said to grow in the Western United States and Mexico I decided to give them a hikers' outfit because that's common there. It's also recorded to be at 6' so I made him a tall boi. (all characters here are tall here) I kind of imagine this character liking to go outside obviously, but sees it as a nerdy venture; like, he wants to explore but not for exercising or being challenged, but to geek out over discoveries and History. Very a la tour guide esc, which may be his job in a town or something. Also I really like his hair ;w; I don't really have a name for any of these bois, I wasn't sure if I just want to name him after their flower like in Strawberry Shortcake or Steven Universe, or give them names similar, or not even bother. I thought naming him Leroy, but him going by "Lee" then his last name being "Von Humboldt" because of the explorer whom the flower is named for. Feel free to leave name suggestions below Sunflower Hey Hey insert joke on the Post Malone Song. I decided to make her like a farmer, because like Sunflowers are farmed in these magical like fields. Sunflowers are also native to the Southwestern United States, so I wanted to get both that Southern western tough babe energy but with a Californian Sunkist look. I low key wanted to make her a math nerd because Sunflowers are known for their perfect ratio of florets, or maybe an art nerd because of how often sunflowers have been used as focus for a lot of art and political movements. I just decided to go with how the sunflower is used in cultivation, that being farming and seeds and all that. Perhaps she could have an artsy sister or cousin where she doesn't get her but they learn they have to respect that while they may never fully get the other's passion or understanding it, they can still respect it. She is supposed to be like 6'4 because the actual sunflower plant on average is like 9' so she would be a real beefy boi, though I kind wished I made her more lank, but I'm not too torn up on it. I also made her bands all fluffy like sunflower petals uwu. My name idea for her was Sunnivia Vincent,, then her nickname would be "Sunny" eh? The last name is a reference to a certain artist who is famous for his sunflower still lifes among other things. I sort of want to put a dumb joke in about the latin name sounding like "anus" bit whatever. Also she gets a badass floppy sunhat that I am in love with. Lilac So first, though she's hunching in this lilac is supposed to be 6'6 cause Lilac is a tree which a lot of people don't know. I also like the idea of a bunch of 7' Red wood tree kids walking around while there are also like 4'10 moss or something. Lilac's look is inspired by ancient greek obviously because Lilac itself is native to the Balkan Peninsula. I couldn't tell you why I made her look shy. I did intentionally make her all done up with hair and makeup because I feel maybe trees are typically higher in society or something. Or maybe the trees typically stay in the cities and run politics like forests? I don't know honestly. She is wearing purple which is the color of royalty. Maybe I could go with how I did with Sunflower, in that Lilacs are often used for their oils and scent so maybe she could be a healer or like cleric. I also gave her olive skin not just because of the Balkan Peninsula,,, but because Lilacs are also apart of the Olive family. In terms of her name I think the obvious one is Lila, but I want to hear more suggestions. Maybe a Greek Name? That's all for now! I defiantly want to explore this topic more, I've already made sketches of cities. I think it is very fitting that I thought of this in June given it is Pride Month which is all about embracing and accepting LGBTQIA individuals. Again I highly urge you to leave your comments on this idea, names, or maybe even your own head canons! I'm sorry about any of the coloring and anatomical issues in this, they're only meant to be sketches and also I need to get better at drawing hats. Thank you for reading through my crap// 

[msclaritea]

~Irene, The Baker St. Venus~

 I wanted to post this, a long time ago, but one of the main fandom friends that I used to talk to about the inter-weaving of Myths and Astrology in BBC Sherlock left ( I miss you @longsnowmoon5!), so I shelved it. Previously, I toyed with the idea of Mycroft as Saturn. That was fun. In A Scandal In Belgravia, Aphrodite Venus, the Empress Tarot, herself, is reincarnated as Irene, who really lived up to the myth, not only coming between Sherlock and John, but also being a strong catalyst for attempting to bring their romantic relationship to the surface. Venus, the planetary body, representative of Love, is known by certain motifs: I will go through them here.

"What are you going to wear?" asks Kate. "My Battle Dress." answers Irene. "Lucky Boy!" Irene then ask for a lip color in the shade of Blood.

Venus was known to always be ready for battle, and besides usually being unabashedly nude, she is represented by the color Red, for Passion. But Red was also the ancient color for War.

The Tarot card for Aphrodite/Venus, called The Empress, describes her sitting on a luxurious seat, with cushions, in a wooded area, next to a stream, and sometimes a waterfall, which shows her abundance, and connection to the earth:

  Here is Irene, on her throne, with cushions, in the woods, next to a stream, and I believe a small waterfall, in the background.

"The astrological symbol for the planet Venus—named for the Roman’s goddess of love, Venus, who was often identified with the Greek Aphrodite—is the same symbol as that used for the biological female: a circle with a small cross beneath (as seen in the above tarot card, on her shield) In alchemy, the Venus symbol also stands for the metal copper, and this provides an interesting link between copper, females and mirrors – in antiquity, polished copper or bronze was used in mirrors. The Venus symbol is also thought to represent the very mirror of Venus or Aphrodite: therefore the connection between Aphrodite and mirrors becomes ever more pronounced...Further symbolism of the mirror shows a connection to secrets...and, as such, to the intense, secret-shattering aspects of light." (At last count, there were at least 5-6 mirrors in Irene's bedroom). 

So, let's see here. What secret is Irene hiding behind her Shield Mirror? That's right: Her Heart Phone. "The shield is a paradox...the paradox is that where there is love there is instant protection, yet to love also requires our vulnerabilities." X 

Also, don't forget Sherlock's words, before attempting to figure out the safe code: "I really hope you don't have a baby in here."

The Empress tarot is often shown as pregnant, symbolizing that "the situation is pregnant with promise! ( Read Sonnet 59 meta, where Sherlock makes John a promise) - full of opportunity. Along with the symbolism of pregnancy holding promise, comes the waiting period. Just as there is an incubation time until the child comes forth, so too is there a time of waiting until our desires become manifest." So we wait. As Sherlock says, that's what targets do.

"(All) of this links back to the planet Venus, which in Ancient Greece was ruled by two gods, one of which was named Eôsphoros (bringer of dawn) or Phôsphoros (bringer of light); identifying Aphrodite’s sacred planet, Venus, as a bringer of light...The mirror also, in turn, symbolises revelation and truth: the mirror often shows the face, and the eyes, as shown in the painting Venus At Her Mirror by Diego Rodriguez de Silva y Velazquez, in which the goddess gazes into the mirror with only her face revealed."

Here, her hair is even similar to Irene's, as are the color found in Irene's home; Red, Black, and White.

"The eyes, in turn, are the paths to truth: they are the “window to the soul”, or, ever-more interestingly, the “mirror of the soul.” Aphrodite, in gazing into the mirror, is therefore not merely enjoying the sight of her own beauty, but is acknowledging the truth of all that resides within her..." X

As our story's mirror to Irene, Sherlock appears to go looking for his own truth. If the popular LSIT theory holds true, that The Hiker & the Backfire are indeed about John's failed Romantic getaway with Sarah, it would seem that Sherlock is again, solving multiple mysteries, rolled into one.

The cherry for me in this tale, came from the excellent Art meta by @sagestreet cleopatras-leg-the-sexy-tapestries-in-asib,

"...we get a depiction of the Goddess Aphrodite (Venus) standing behind the couple, her hand outstretched above their heads in benediction. Yes, the Goddess of Love is literally blessing (!) the two lovers just as they’re turning their faces towards each other, about to kiss, absorbed in whatever this little sex game of theirs is.;)"

(OMG...these two. And it HAD to happen within close proximity to Venus.)  

But to continue, we get this other bit from Sage's meta: "At the height of the feast, Plutarch tells us, Cleopatra made an entrance dressed as the Goddess Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love." So, in a fun bit of the writers' affinity for inverting, they had Aphrodite Irene, take and dress in Cleopatra Sherlock's clothes....

...here, as she brandishes a phallic symbol, her scepter whip, another Empress motif. She did this, not just once...

...but twice. Irene brought Truth into John and Sherlock's relationship, never swaying from her purpose, even as she played her game of War.

And why not? Venus is known in Ancient times as being the Patron Saint of Homosexual Love between men. Sappho's poetry holds her also as a Saint for Lesbians.  X  Aphrodite Ourania, the celestial Aphrodite, born from the sea foam after Cronus castrated Uranus...also inspired homosexual male desire or, more specifically, ephebic eros." X  "In one context, she is a goddess of prostitutes; in another, she turns the hearts of men and women from sexual vice to virtue." X This could be the possible reason for her chosen profession in Sherlock. She inspires, tempers, and balances, seduces, but more importantly, communicates openly, with her own heart. She knows quite well, the secret wishes made by the hearts of Man. Well...she knows what they like.

Venus Rising by Sandro Botticelli

Meta inspired, as usual, by a little talk with my friends X . Also, by Planet Narnia: The Seven Heavens in the Imagination of C.S. Lewis by Michael Ward, in which he theorizes that the children in Narnia were each given the personalities of the Seven Ancient Astrological bodies. This book is spotted behind John's chair, in A Study In Pink. The 7th chronical is titled The Final Battle.                                                                                      

@ebaeschnbliah @darlingtonsubstitution @gosherlocked @love-in-mind-palace @loveismyrevolution @kajaono @let-bijohns-be-bi-johns @rominatrix @theragesniff @rinkagaminesstuff @johnnytik @sagestreet @monikakrasnorada @delurkingdetective @221bloodnun @impossibleleaf @tjlcisthenewsexy @devoursjohnlock @roadswewalk @marta-bee​​​ @may-shepard @fleurdelisandbees @madzither

[nickelkeep]

Don’t Go In The Woods 14x16 Live Blog

Alright, I get to watch it early today... As usual, spoilers past the cut.

The road so far...

The mini future hunters

Poor Sammeh :(

Nougat! He feels different cause he only has a little smidgen of soul. :(

Ok here’s the show... OOOOO... This is how every horror movie starts. Two people making out.

Heh. Daddy issues. Is he a Winchester? :P

DON’T GO OFF ALONE! This is a horror movie 101.

Well, that’ll scare the piss out of her.

The fuck was that?

Interesting angle of the kitchen.

THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN SAM. Dean has it right.

54 missing people. 

Cas left and told Dean, d’awww. I already knew this was a Cas-less episode, still sad.

One of the two sneak peeks. :)

Beer, TP, Eggs, Beer again. Dean has his priorities straight. 

I recognize the Sheriff...

Why did Dean jump? 

Awwww, Sweet Nougat, you’re adorably awkward.

“It makes my stomach hurts. Like a burp.”

Poor grieving kid.

Beer, Kleenex and Old Spice. LOL.

AWWWW NOUGAT, He’s so excited to make a friend.

MOVIE NIGHTS ARE CANON. 

TWO... ENTY. TWENTY-TWO.  I love this cinnamon roll more and more.

LOL, Yes Jack. ID.

“Gesundheit.” I was thinking the same, Dean.

Oooo, actual hikers this time.

Horror Movie plot again. Are we going with the Black Guy dies too SPN?

Yep.

The poor kid is devastated. You’re gonna lose your son if he goes hunting after your “coyote.”

Like Sam and Dean are ever going to listen.

Oooo, Little Lesbians. Please TPTB, don’t take them away from me.

THE BOOK IS BY JERRY WANEK. I love it.

LOL, I like the Who. Who?

Nougat... You are not allowed to train. You’re barely out of training yourself.

NOUGAT. Who’s blade is that?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

You almost killed yourself with a slinky.

You can throw it... Not that he can. Where’s Dad!Cas? Someone needs to smack some sense into him.

Sam, Dean... What are you doing?

Oh look, it’s the Sheriff. Who the fuck is he? I know his face

Does the word “kohonta” mean anything to you? Of course it does.

NOUGAT. No. BAD NOUGAT.

/facepalm

Nougat baby. Shit... This hits home, a lot. The not listening, the not picking up on social cues, the thinking that fixing things will just make everything ok... Are they having him play as Autistic?

It’s not a what, it’s a who. Kohonta aren’t borne, they’re made.

Why don’t you tell people? Because people don’t believe. The sheriff proved that.

Sammy. I need to hug Sam. Like, right now. This is killing him so much.

Oh yeah, I called that. Tom’s going after a “coyote.”

Why is just about every type of monster allergic to silver? Like, seriously?

I will say the makeup job on the Kohonta is pretty awesome.

Still trying to figure who’s playing the sheriff.

SAMMEH!

Nice teamwork!

Ewwww.

“That was like... full on Raiders.” Dean, you’re such a nerd. Now check on your brother, he was bitten.

Wait, wasn’t Sam bitten? Like, on the wrist?

He deserves the truth? But you just yelled at him because people wouldn’t believe the truth if you told it? Huh? Dean... Call his ass out please.

Thank you Dean.

“Jack said he was fine.”

“We told Dad we were fine.” Oooo. Low blow Sam. (but a good comeback.)

Whatcha looking at there Jack?

I got it. Except the beer. I didn’t have ID. YOU HAVE TONS OF IDs. They’re fake. Dean is perfecting his own Bitchface/Eyeroll

They’re talking about his powers. And telling him the truth. And he’s lying. What a flip.

What Would the Winchesters Do is the worst advice EVER. Bad Donatello. BAD.

We’re gonna lose Jack to the box. That’s why they haven’t busted it yet. Figuring out how to help him is gonna be the plot for 15. I’m calling it now.

[argielloyd]

CTTO Laftrip

And BEFORE you bother me, these are my subtexts on the following profile declarations:

1. STRAIGHT ACTING = The entire planet knows he's gay, 'cept him! Severely in denial; has goatee. Likes boys and callboys alike and uses Aficionado perfume.

2. GYM BODY = Does nothing the whole day but cruise inside the gym and the showers. Longest relationship was with a dumbbell.

3. BUFFED = Steroid-induced pecs and abs. Knows all sources of fake protein. Favorite word: "Dude!" (Pronounced as “Dod”)

4. NO EFFEMS = Thinks that having a relationship with someone effeminate makes him a lesbian.

5. SEVEN-INCH DICK = Asus. In reality, it's just 5 inches! In gay inches, you always add two more inches to everything you measure.

6. YM ME = Jealous type. Does not like competition in chatrooms.

7. I'M NOT EASY TO GET = Desperate but trying to sound choosy.

8. I'M HERE FOR SEX = I'm here for sex. Period.

9. HANDSOME GUYS ONLY = “I am a shallow dork and I have a brain the size of a walnut. Did I mention even my dog hates me?”

10. JUST HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS = Did not make any friends in FaceBook and in life. Was kicked out of Dogster because they found out he does not have a dog.

11. GOOD IN BED = Needs a place to crash in but cant afford a pension house. The things he does for a good night’s sleep.

12. WHAT'S YOUR PASSWORD? = “I'm so horny I want to jerk off now.” Cant afford a decent paysite so gets off with x-rated pics of members.

13. TOP = Has had more girl friends and zero boyfriends.

14. BOTTOM = Has very bad knee injury, or sleeps under your bed, literally.

15. I'M NICE = Dull, boring and has the personality of an ironing board or a wet mop!

16. I'M BAD = Just swallowed a dozen viagra pills. Has a tattoo, nipple ring and wears an ukay-ukay leather jacket during summer.

17. THIS GUY'S MAILBOX IS FULL = Won't check his inbox cause cant afford an hour's worth of internet café.

18. "WALA LANG" = Has a ten-word vocabulary which includes ���cool”,“hi”,“wassup”, “he he”, “ha ha” and “tnx.” Longest word he can write is his name.

19. I AM ATTACHED = Cannot mention the word love. Has commitment problems.

20. I LOVE TO TRAVEL = Looking for a sponsor for his next overseas trip. Always starts a sentence with "When I was in Europe..." Then you ask: "Where in Europe?" He says: "Ah... city proper!" Wow. Europe City.

21. IF YOU'RE NOT CUTE, DONT EVEN BOTHER = Lonely and miserable. Nobody takes care of him when he gets sick. Has 500 “friends” in Friendster and FaceBook cause he approves everyone--mostly strangers!

22. I AM SENSITIVE, LOVING, CARING AND HONEST = You are probably reading your mother's G4M account.

23. I GIVE GOOD MASSAGE/EXTRA SERVICE = A masseur who got suspended where he worked because he wears too much face foundation.

24. MY MOBILE NUMBER IS = read: "Tawagan mo ako, kasi wala akong load".

25. NO PIC, NO REPLY = Read this from someone else's profile and copied it. Doesnt know what PIC really is. Wanna bet?

26. DISCREET = Loves to hang-out in extremely dark places. Haven't even seen any of the faces of all the men he's had sex with. One of the few people who gets excited during blackouts.

27. HAIRY DADDY = Lots of chest hair but for some strange reason - head is bald.

28. CURIOUS STRAIGHT MALE = Can’t decide if he’s top or bottom. So decided to act lesbian instead . . .

29. A BODY PIC WITH NO HEAD = Shrimp. Or Wanted by the NBI. Or doesnt know how to take his own picture!!

30. KINKY = Owns collection of large Liwanag candles for November 2. Hides petroleum jelly under his bed. Ass is moist 24/7. Go figure.

31. SWIMMER’S BOD = Used to call himself gym-bod; now wants to sound catchy.

32. FLAWLESS COMPLEXION = Photoshop beauty. Blurred. Dodged. Liquified.

33. VIRGIN PA AKO = Chances are HE IS. Who in his right mind would be proud to be still a virgin?

34. VIEW MY WEBCAM = Frustrated Pinoy Big Brother contestant.

35. DON’T TEXT, CALL ME = Cant actually read your sms/txts..his Nokia 3210 LCD has obsolete spare parts! Tawagan niyo na lang, please lang.

36. I’M A SEX MACHINE = Disease carrier. Ouch!

38. QUIET AND SOFT-SPOKEN = Probably dead.

39. MACHO = Avid Masculados fan; join their mall tours. Uses WD-40 as lubricant.

40. BLANK PROFILE = Has no clue who he is, what he wants and where his life is going. Casted in JURASSIC WORLD.

42. MESSAGE ME = What he really wanted to say in tagalog was: "Gusto kong magpamasahe sa iyo." Typo error??

43. HOMEBODY = Unemployed guy. A bum. Free-loader. Professional home-partner contestant in Eat Bulaga, Wowowee and Game Ka Na Ba.

44. OUT-GOING PERSONALITY = No air-conditioning in his house. Pretends to be a mountaineer, hiker, biker, etc. Doesnt understand the word 'outgoing' and no 'personality' to match his claim. Gargoyle.

45. I DONT LIKE CASUAL SEX = Only has sex when in formal wear, like when he is in a Saya, or Barong Tagalog, for example.

46. LOOKING FOR A SOULMATE = A former member of Spirit Questors. Enjoys supernatural relationships. Cant handle the stress of the physical world.

47. I AM NOT HANDSOME = Take his word for it. He's being honest for chrissakes!

48. I'M HANDSOME, INTELLIGENT, GORGEOUS = Mister Perfect! -- with character/humility issues.

49. STUDENT = Has insatiable thirst for knowledge... and sex. But remember: STUDENT means TUITION FEE sponsorship.

50. I AM TISOY = Contact lenses from Tutuban, skin peeling by Maxipeel, hair color by Tsin Tsan Tsu and rhinoplasty from Ellen's. Speaks a little chabakano.

51. SHY TYPE = No serious love since birth.

52. I’M SENSIBLE = Can carry a simple conversation for 2 minutes. Beyond that he simply moans.

53. I’M A MAN OF THE WORLD = He wants to make it clear to everyone that, YES, he is from this planet.

54. I’M A REAL PERSON = People have often mistaken him for an ornamental plant in the past.

55. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET = He has no plans of changing for the better. He is completely content with himself. Little motivation in life.

56. I’M NOT JUST INTERESTED IN SEX = He uses PlanetRomeo to desperately advertise and sell you condos; Or asks you for Room For Rent referrals. Or recruit you--and balance--his (right/left) multilevel pyramid group. Works on commission basis.

57. LOOKING FOR BADMINTON BUDDIES = In search for the perfect shuttle COCK. He wants to SCORE big. On the look out for RACKET. And he really wants to SERVE.

58. BISEXUAL = A “top” with girls, a “bottom” with guys. And willing to 'buy' sex. Get it?

59. BOYTOY = It’s very clear that he wants everyone to know that he is young. And he has a toy. Now, Whether he is willing to share that toy is negotiable.

60. DOG-LOVER = A hot bitch who likes it dog-style. Loyal. Man’s best-friend. Pees everywhere. Doesn’t mind if you tie him up to a fence and urinate on his face.

61. YOU THINK I’M HOT? = He’s not really sure if he IS hot. Needs a second opinion. And a third. The fourth will probably convince him… that he is NOT.

62. NATURE-LOVER = Very kind to nature… considering what nature has done to him.

63. MALIBOG AKO = Masturbates five times a day. Has 80GB of pornography in his PC. Has the complete collection of phone scandal videos. Watches National Geographic just to see naked men hunting wild boar.

64. COWBOY = Has seen Brokeback Mountain too many times. He talks to his cigarette and says: “I wish I could quit you!”

65. I’M SIMPLE YET COMPLICATED = Uhm… this one really blows me. Probably manic depressive.

66. NO CROSS-DRESSERS = Doesn’t want to share his satin gowns.

67. DERETSO AKONG TAO = Has a very strong back. Drinks Anlene Gold regularly.

68. I DARE YOU TO SEE ME IN PERSON = Unfortunately, nobody dared.

69. COME AND GET ME = I am not so sure if this is an invitation, a request or a cry for help.

70. TYPICAL GUY = He has two arms, two legs, a nose, a pair of eyes… uh, what else. Oh yes, a penis. Typical.

71. SELF-MADE MAN = He appeared into this world just by his sheer power of thought.

72. CANDY BOY = Wants to be licked all over. Comes in three flavors: BAGONG LIGO, PAWISAN and LUMUSOB SA BAHA.

73. I AM SENSITIVE = Can sense an earthquake even before it happens. He is now being studied by scientists to warn the human race of future tsunamis.

74. I HAVE A WONDERFUL MIND = His temporal lobe, anterior commissure and medulla will give you a hard-on. Oh, yes… he has a pornographic memory.

75. I AM THE LIFE OF THE PARTY = A Boyoyong party clown. Brings his own make-up set and catalogue of Avon beauty products for demo purposes.

76. DECENT GUY = Wipes his feet before entering a massage parlor. Brushes his teeth after giving someone a blowjob. Says a little prayer before and after sex. Confesses regularly... on his knees.

77. OPEN-MINDED = His brain is everywhere except in his head. A perfect medium for séances.

78. COME OVER AND LET’S HAVE SEX = Thinks that Guys4Men/PlanetRomeo is a delivery service.

79. HOPELESS ROMANTIC = Believes that love is eternal. Easily trusts everyone. Gullible. Thinks Mike Arroyo is innocent.

80. I AM FUNNY = That fact that he has to say that he is funny is hilarious.

81. PURE TOP = Has a ten-picture exclusive contract with a porno film outfit which prevents him from being a bottom. Will only become a bottom when the 'right' project comes. Pure nga!

82. EXTREME TOP FOR EXTREME BOTTOMS ONLY = Will only have passionate sex with an Extreme Magic Sing microphone shoved up their asses while viewing the Amazing Race!

83. TRIPPER = Has a marijuana plantation in his backyard. Uses tie-dyed shirts, showers twice a month and responds to "Tsong." Does not a have a day job.

84. ASTIG 2 ASTIG LANG = A former seaman. Ideal places for sex: barracks, breakwater, inside a jail cell. Must have during sex: handcuffs, Purico cooking lard and a cd of Aegis.

85. NO TO CHUBS = Say what???? Take a hard look at YOURSELF, you idiot! What have you to offer?? GET A LIFE!

86. OPEN RELATIONSHIP = he doesn't get this: he swore by the gospel it means he is Open TO HAVE a Relationship.

87. I HAVE NO PLACE FOR FUN = evicted!!