#he literally looks too fucking good i genuinely don’t think i can do this anymore

[devils-reign]

hey guys :) feeling really normal right now!

*OFF CAMERA NOISES OF A CAR CRASH, SCREAMING AND A HOUSE BURNING DOWN AND THE SOUNDS OF ME CHEWING ON CERAMICS AND GLASS AND RUNNING AND JUMPING AND GROWING*

[luvjunie]

i need a miles 42 x plus size reader any plot can work 😭

— headcanons. miles with a plus size reader

a/n: i really really hope i did these justice anon im so sorry if i didn’t! for my plus size lovies 🫶🏽

• He is in loveee with your body. Infatuated with every curve, every roll, every stretch mark. Everything that comes with you. He literally compliments you until you get tired of it, and you know it’s genuine just off how he looks at you.

• Encourages you to wear the clothes that you’ve been too scared to go out in. The ones that have been sitting in your closet for ages because you claim “they’re not for your body type”.

• He thinks that’s absolute bullshit and got mad when you told him that. Not at you, but at the fact that you genuinely believed something like that were true. He never lets you talk badly about yourself.

“Fuck you mean they’re not for your body type?” “That’s bullshit, ma. don’t let me hear that again. You look good in everything.”

• For the first few months of your relationship you refused to sit on his lap. He didn’t press you about it because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but eventually he caught on to what you were doing. And now he doesn’t ask you anymore, he just grabs your arm and pulls you into it.

“Stop it, baby. Don’t get up, I want you here.”

• Has bought a few oversized hoodies specifically so when you go through his closet you can find one that doesn’t just “fit” but is baggy on you, too. He didn’t understand why that was important at first, because you fit his other hoodies just fine, but when he asked, you got a little flustered and told him it was just a girl thing, and that it was stupid so he shouldn’t worry about it. He thought the opposite, though, because if something mattered to you it mattered to him. He went out and bought some the next day.

• Loves to go shopping with you so you have a second opinion in the dressing room. Often times you’re quick to shut down a potential purchase, because for some reason you just don’t see what he does when you look in the mirror.

“Baby, do you like this or does it look weird on me?” “Mhmm, definitely get that one.”

“What about these?” “Lord have mercy I’m bout to—“. “Miles!” “My bad. That was gon’ be a yes, by the way.”

• Will get up and make your plate for you at a family party just in case you’re anxious about doing it yourself or worried about potential looks you might (you won’t) get.

“What you want mama, chicken or pork?” “….” “If you don’t choose I’ll give you both.” “Umm, chicken, please.” “You want rice?” “No, I’m alright.” “Alright, so yes to rice then. You want some pasta, too?” “Miles, I think I have enough on my plate. I don’t wanna take too much…” “Nah, mami. My family not like that. You gotta try everything or they’re gonna try and feed you themselves.”

[2knightt]

IM SORRY, I KNOW U GOT A REQUEST ON THIS SO MUCH ALREADY BUT…

Your motherly!reader fics are so good 😭! can you pleasee do another? platonic with the gang!! no romance 🥰 thank youu ❤️❤️❤️ your work is amazing btw!

the gang x motherly!reader

!warnings!

1.i did headcanons i hope thats okay😭

2.fem!reader

3.swearing and a small mention of violence.

Johnny Cade ;

like i’ve said before in other fics, he loves you so much.

honestly, you might be one of his favourite people!

when he walks down the street and he just so happens to see a cute flower, he picks it and gives it to you!

when he first met you, he refused to see you when he was injured in anyway. he thought you’d think he was weak and never see him again.

but as time went on, and you showed that you genuinely cared for him, he showed more of his vulnerable side.

johnny likes it when you patch him up now!

he thinks it’s calming, relaxing, and a, ‘nice change of things rather than lettin’ mother nature cure it.’

when he unknowingly/accidentally vents to you about his home life, he does get embarrassed.

he didn’t want you knowing, but when you hugged him real tight and told him sweet nothings?? he teared up ngl.

johnny wishes you could’ve been his mom.

when or if you have kids, johnny wishes they don’t take the, ‘how was your day?’ and the, ‘how’s school going?’ for granted.

because to johnny cade, that would be his perfect fairytale.

having someone as sweet as you to turn his life around, makes him excited to see tomorrow.

Dallas Winston ;

another bitch with mommy issues who is glad to have you.

mrs.curtis was definitely the mother he never had but always wanted and when she died, he was devastated.

but when you came along and started being that mother he missed??? he was both annoyed and over the moon.

he didn’t like that every time you bailed him out of jail, he got an ear full. however, he did like to know verbally that someone cared about him

he doesn’t show you any sort of affection, but he will tell you how he feels when drunk.

“thank you, so much y/n. i-i don’t know where i’d be without you.”

for mothers day, he doesn’t do anything special.

BUT—you didn’t hear this from me, before the clock hits 12, expect to hear like a cute little knock at your door, and open it to see a single flower on the ground with a pack of cigarettes.

dally ran off before you or anyone else could see him.

even though he didn’t sign his name, you knew it was from him. so, next time you see him, say thank you.

Ponyboy Curtis ;

he’s like a toddler around you???

ponyboy definitely pretends to be like, your own bodyguard.

but really, who’s scared of ponyboy?

he tries though!

when he watches a movie and some character reminds him of you, expect that to be the first thing he tells you.

“ya know, when i went to the drive in, you really reminded of this one character.”

“oh? why’s that?”

“well because-“

and now you have to sit there and listen to him.

he’ll draw for you so much :(.

if you tell him your favourite flower, he WILL give you a drawing of it the next day. he’ll stay up all night if he has too!

Sodapop Curtis ;

he’s literally your #2 fan. first place goes to johnny.

he’s your biggest hypeman??? omg???

“gee, y/n! you’re lookin’ real fancy!! gonna get all the guys, eh?”

when ponyboy and darry argue and he just can’t take it anymore, he calls you and asks to come over.

and of course, you say yes everytime.

so please, PLEASE, just let him cry into your arms!!!!

when he’s done, he’ll try to go home but i’m begging you to tell him he’s welcomed to stay the night.

and if he does stay? ponyboy will be at your doorstep too.

he’ll share his famous chocolate cake with you!! he’ll make sure steve doesn’t touch it.

“STEVE THAT WAS FOR Y/N! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

“OH SHIT SHIT SHIT! WE MAKE MAKE ONE TOGETHER! THE MORE PEOPLE THE FASTER THE CAKE WILL BAKE RIGHT?!”

“DO I LOOK LIKE A SCIENTIST??”

Darry Curtis ;

he is so thankful for you i legit can’t stress that enough.

you keep the gang in check, you keep ponyboy happy, and you help him around the house. what more could he ask for?

you legit force darry to relax while you look after the gang to make sure nothing bad happens.

“we’ll be fine, darry. go to bed, your dark circles are gettin’ darker by the minute.”

“yeah super-man! we’ll be fine with y/n!”

“yeah!!”

“fine, but if she wakes me up to tell me about any of you, so god help me.”

if you welcome him home with a newspaper and his favourite cup of coffee after a long day at work, he might ask you to move in.

Steve Randle ;

steve pretends that he doesn’t like you that much.

but he really does. like, the second he hears some soc threaten or insult you? he’s after them.

shit, he might be chasin’ after them in two-bits car while two-bit yells at the person.

he will legit go to war for you if you asked him nicely.

he will rant to you about cars if you let him😭.

he’ll rant to you about anything, honestly.

“and then the old bastard asked for a refund! the ‘no refunds’ sign was right on the door! how could that old bat not see it?!”

“steve! don’t call people that, but yes, it was very rude of that man to do that too you.”

“RIGHT?!”

Two-bit Matthews ;

he forces you to relax and watch mickey mouse with him.

he says it’s for your own good but when really, he just wants to spend time with you without the gang interrupting.

“guys! you’re stressing her out with all your STUPID questions! c’mon, y/n, mickey mouse is calling our names. can’t you hear it?”

“or maybe its the booze you had at 10AM.”

“i will sock you in your fucking throat steve.”

he plays with your hair…he finds it fun!

please tell him how to do some styles so he can go home and impress his little sister :(.

he offers you beer every once and awhile just so he can say he got you to loosen up.

“so y/n…you want some?”

“oh! no thank you, two. you know i don’t drink.”

he calls you mom in a joking way, ya dig?

“momm! steve called me a dumbass!”

“steve, be nice! apologize.”

“what the fuck?!”

author notes ;

1. i like totally rushed near the end LMFAO.

2. i never thought you bitches would eat motherly!reader up like this??

3.are you guys okay??

4.THANK U SWEETHEART OMFG??

5.i think theres no romance??

may 15th, 2023. 6:39PM

[sanspuppet]

Oh my god, if you could please do line 7 and 13 for Hongjoong with shibari I’ll literally love you forever 🥹💕

(Please of course only do it if you’re comfortable! If you’re not, then just whatever your creative side comes up with will be great. I’ll gobble it up regardless 😙)

Thank you for all you do and your amazing work! 💕💕

7_ “God, you look amazing like this”

13_ “Since when do friends do things like this?”

W/T: friends to lovers, jealous Hongjoong, shibari, unprotected sex

• HII here you go babe, i hope you like it :3 although it’s my first time writing about shibari, i really enjoyed writing it!

- not proofread cuz im about to pass out from tiredness :/

Finally it’s Hongjoong’s birthday, and though he hasn’t planned a big party, he invited you at his place, wanting to spend more time with you: the girl who’s secretly obsessed with. Hongjoong just finds anything you do attractive and caring, he can’t stop thinking of you and how cute you always appear. This surely involves that he’s genuinely jealous of you, and seeing you with another guy immediately ruins his mood for the entire day.

You greet him, giving him a tight hug when you enter his apartment. Hongjoong shyly smiles back, taking the present you gave him in his hands and placing it on the table. Even though you are classmates, you don’t talk often but you still think he’s a nice guy. After a good hour of random conversations between you two, Hongjoong heads finally towards the kitchen to take his birthday cake. It’s when he turns back with it, ready to blow the candles, that you receive a text. You can’t help but check your phone when you notice that it’s Mingi who’s searching for you: he asked you out, and go with him to watch the new film that has been released at the cinema.

“Oh my god” you murmur, bringing your hand over your mouth. Despite your excitement, Hongjoong’s smile printed on his face quickly disappears as he notices you’re not giving attention to him anymore.

“What” he huffs, looking at your phone as he could know what got your attention.

You stutter, unsure if you should accept Mingi’s proposal or just stay there with Hongjoong, despite you’d feel guilty… the new film seems too good, without counting Mingi’s presence that always makes your legs dizzy when you’re in front of him.

“Uhm… Joong, i think i should go now… i forgot that i have to meet with Mingi later…” you mewl shyly, something in his stare scared you.

“You’re not going anywhere, i want you to stay here with me” He affirms, his cold eyes locked on yours.

“But- but i seriously need to go Hongjoong” you’re about to stand up, when he positions himself in front of you, his tight grip on your wrist making it almost hurt.

“I said, you’re not leaving.” he continues, his face a few inches away from yours, shivers of fear running down your spine from his intimidating stare.

“You can’t do anything to keep me here!” you bicker “not even if you’d tie me up” your body is immobilized as you see a smirk diving onto his mouth. He chuckles cockily.

“Wanna try? We’ll se if you can escape.”

Even though you didn’t exactly figured out the idea, your pride suddenly speak for themselves: “Oh yeah? Wanna bet?” your reply got once again Hongjoong giggling.

“Actually, i do wanna” He smirks, his hands quickly moving on your waist, grabbing it harshly as he pushes you towards his bedroom. “Gonna tie you all up, so you’re not gonna see that fuck boy” Hongjoong throws you onto his bed, giving you a cold stare as he wants to make sure you’re not going to move. Your mouth hangs open when you see him taking a long pair of strings from his wardrobe, making you gulp as he approaches you while starting to knot them.

“Strip.” he stares down at you, enjoying the view of having your pretty face right in front of his hardening member. Your breath stops as you hear him, asking to yourself if you just misheard.

“I said fucking strip, you better do.”

You raise an eyebrow, arms crossed as you stare up at him. But as soon as he wraps his hand around your throat, raising your chin to force you to look right at his hooded eyes, you start unzipping your jeans.

“Good girl. Keep acting well and the knots will might not hurt.” he starts to tie your body with the strings, the knots positioned accurately to accentuate your curves. Once he helps you hiking up your top, Hongjoong can’t take his eyes off of your tits, perfectly sized, he can’t help but give them the proper attention by using the strings to help them pop out of your chest. He does a few steps backwards, admiring your body like it was a piece of art, his piece of art.

“God, you look amazing like this.” he approaches you again, pushing you onto the mattress, making you arch your back as your arms are tied behind it. “All naked and ready to be fucked.” Hongjoong chuckles in the crook of your neck, his hand squeezing your breast. He gets closer to your ear, whispering: “Tell me baby, can you still escape from me?” he pulls back, his thighs on either your sides, smirking at you while teasing you by pulling the strings. “Fuck- no, no…” you murmur, breathing heavily.

“I could manhandle you right now and bury my hard cock inside you, you couldn’t do anything about it, could you?” he provokes you.

“No…” you look at him through your eyelashes, a strange tension inside your stomach gets you the urge for him to touch you. “Please, do it Joong.”

“Oh? Since when do friends do things like this?” He genuinely seems enjoying himself on top of you, while you’re desperately begging for him.

“Gosh, fuck it. I want you now…” you whine, arching more intensely your back from desperation.

“Don’t you tryna ask me to stop, later then.” Hongjoong doesn’t wait any longer before removing his clothes off of his body till you can see his hard dick standing straight on top of you.

“Be a good girl and take it, i know you can” he unties the knot that keeps your legs together, spreading them right after to make room for himself. He gives you a smirk before pushing decisively his length into your soaking, needy cunt. He releases a pleased sigh, smiling with eyes closed, tongue sticking out as he feels your walls clenching around him.

“Fuck! So deep- oh god” you moan, hiccuping because of the overwhelming pleasure his cocks is making you feel. Your eyes roll in the back of your skull as he helplessly starts to fuck you dumb, his cockhead pressing against your g-spot perfectly at every thrust, giving them a blissing effect. The bedroom is filled with your moans and his grunts, mixed with the icky and squelching sounds your pumped pussy is making. His girth is slamming against your thigh gap, stuffing your hole like it was his only life purpose.

“Fuck, you’re just as perfect as i always dreamed- taking my dick so well, you like it, don’t you?” Hongjoong holds tightly at the string that crosses over your stomach, while the effort he puts into his fast movements are driving your mind blurry. You barely can elaborate any coherent thought, body and mind full with his cock, and you’d surely not even complain about that, fuck if it felt amazing.

“Yes-! i l-love it” you moan back, your muscles tensing as you feel your orgasm approaching your stomach.

“Gonna cum, don’t you? fuck i’m close too.” Hongjoong groans, his thrusts becoming faster but also sloppier. He squeezes his eyes and bites his lips, still can’t believe that he’s finally fucking the girl of his dreams.

“Fuck yeah! Keep going!” you yell out from pleasure, buring your back into the mattress, the fact that you can’t move is torturing you yet you think it’s so damn hot. You both are a moaning mess once you reach your high, when you feel wet ropes shooting inside your body you bite your lower lip, loving the idea of being stuffed full of his cum.

Hongjoong’s body falls on yours after the exhausting stimulation, his face resting on your soft breast, inhaling deeply the air as he tries to catch his breath again. He cards his fingers through your sweaty hair once he looks up at you again, you try to smile with all the energy that’s remaining in your body.

“Hongjoong, i’ll never try to leave you again, i promise”

[pizzagame4000]

NOISETTE THEMED DOODLE DUMP ft. cheesecake and the spouses

copious hazel headcanons under the cut because i can’t help myself

first off: her name is Hazel 👍🏻 ik that’s a common one but it’s literally perfect… canon info to me

her favorite thing to do, besides making experimental food, is actually exercising! she’s an incredibly skilled acrobat and stunt artist, so she needs to be fit for that, but she also just enjoys letting the excess energy out bc she gets really cranky otherwise. she’s toned af and could wipe the floor with you - she doesn’t go around picking fights for no good reason, but if she did… heehee

she has such an unending well of passion for all of her interests that some find her to be too much but she dgaf… she’s unabashedly autistic and does NOT care if you don’t want to hear her infodump about obscure cheeseslime genetics, she will do it anyways

i like to think that, although she is very bubbly, she has an insane morbid streak that catches people off guard. she loves talking about anatomy and gross-out subjects to anyone who can stomach it, and cracks the most fucked up jokes - it’s one of the reasons her and noise get along so well. she is thinking about blood and guts because she thinks it’s interesting!!!! she will give you hyperspecific graphic threats of violence if you make her mad!!! teehee!!

i would put her at like… chaotic neutral but leaning towards good. she has an almost scientific fascination with violence and seeing what kinds of stress a body can take, and doesn’t mind watching shit unfold instead of helping… unless something actually super fucked up is going on (like way past canon typical pizza tower violence), she’s not going to bat for you lol she’s gonna grab a camera and clipboard

her interest in anatomy branches out into a love for biology, medicine and health in general - as much as she loves watching her boyfriend beat the shit out of some chump on live tv, she also loves studying how different creatures work and how to treat injuries. she almost became a doctor! but she didn’t like the rigid schedule and pressure, so she fostered her interest in dance and gymnastics, and went into television as a stunt double instead. that’s actually how she met noise! that’s why they look so much alike - she was told to inquire NTV for a job because of the resemblance. noise thought she was so cool she was asked to be his co-star instead, and they’ve been inseparable ever since.

sometimes she gets tired of the noisette persona, but she does genuinely like theo, so it’s hard. she’s been more busy with this NTV gig (that’s looking more like a full blown career) than she would like, so that’s why she opened her cafe - to do something else for once dammit!! she likes weird shit, food included!!!

i have two shipping scenarios i like, so consider these parallel universes - hazel x vigi, and hazel x vigi x noise

if you don’t like negative takes on the noise relationship i’d recommend skipping to 2 ^_^

1. her relationship with noise deteriorates bc noise can’t accept the fact that hazel doesn’t wanna be noisette all the time! they’re so busy, he barely even makes time for her anymore - he barely even tolerates her! it’s not until vigi comes into the picture that she realizes she doesn’t have to deal w that mess. but it sucks cuz noise isn’t just her bf, but also like!!! a big part of her career!!! and she does genuinely love him but he’s just!!! an uncommunicative ass!!! it culminates in hazel leaving him and crashing at vigi’s farm because fuck it, it’s her life she does what she wants. she will kiss the cheese AND rebuild her tv career, on her own terms this time baybee

2. noise and hazel still have that issue but they actually communicate like adults and fix their relationship problems, so none of that shit happens! happy ending! hazel has her own life and theo actually lets his gf know he loves her! woah! enter vigi, in: “we saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe…” imagining vigi as a third to hazel and theo, completely out of his depth but too bisexual to care, is SO funny to me lol… like hazel and him are probably the only two together at first but over time he and theo warm up to each other more (gay intent) and it’s perfect

[lestappenforever]

My ask is maybe a bit silly, and would probably go in 'sanity check' category. It is about Max, and how he is perceived. If I understand correctly, it is said he is mad max, bad guy, aggressive… and similar. Now, I know teenagers are sometimes a bit crazy, and from what I read he was actually very badly treated by freaking adults, fellow drivers, when he first joined F1, so maybe then he was a bit aggressive, and it would be even understandable… but still it is difficult to even imagine that. Because Max I see (I am only following racing since last year) is nice, soft, funny, polite guy, still more looking like an innocent kid than an adult, even appearing naïve (unlike the sweet, adorable devil that is Charles!), and obviously so nice towards rookies (Oliver and Liam-who himself said it). So am I delusional and see what is not there or for some reason he is so vilified (I guess most coming probably from jealousy and Netflix crap…). Oh and one additional observation, he always looks so much softer and somehow cuddlier and cuter on photos from his streaming at home… What do you think? One final observation, then I will shut up  Sometimes it seems to me that all the Lestappen moments and specila connection maybe come from the fact that when Charles came to F1 Max finally had kinda his person there. Because he went form father abuse to fellow drivers abuse, but when Charles came to F1, he had someone he could have a real relationship with, even if they fought and were a bit sulky almost teenagers still in the beginning, they got over it as they grow up. But Charles is his genuinely healthy, good, fun, friendly relationship. Having spent time as kids growing up of course also deepens the bond and friendship, but also mutual respect and understanding each other’s qualities. I don’t know if explained it well enough… P.S. I LOVE your fics!!!!

Hi anon, and thank you so much for this ask! I don't think it's a silly ask at all.

All these "Mad Max", being too aggressive, being mean claims etc. stem from two things:

1. When Max made it into F1 almost 10(!) years ago, he was 17(!!) years old. He was a kid — a literal child. And he was a cocky, arrogant little shit at that, as any kid would be making their debut in such a prestigious sport at such a young age.

2. Max haters who will hate him forever, no matter what, no matter why. They don't even need a reason; they're just determined to hate him and will do so forever.

But the thing is, and his haters especially seem to love to ignore this fact, Max was seventeen years old when he made his F1 debut. He was, for all intents and purposes, a child. I watched Max make his F1 debut, and I watched and read the way he was viewed and the reception he received from his fellow drivers, the media, and fans alike. And I watched these grown-ass men already on the grid when Max joined welcome him by treating him like shit. These adults were so threatened by this kid who came into the sport without having to go through the same ranks almost every other F1 driver has to go through to get there, such as several years in F3 and F2 (Max only spent a year in F3 and skipped F2 altogether), that they did virtually nothing to make him feel welcome. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was so fucking sad and infuriating, and I lost a lot of respect for many drivers because of it. And if I'm being honest, anon, that's what made me decide Max would be my favorite driver. I can be incredibly spiteful when I want to be, and watching Max get slammed and slandered from so many directions from the very beginning made me want to be very spiteful. That's what made me decide that I was going to support that kid like hell. And I haven’t looked back or regretted it since.

I cannot stress this enough, and I know I've said it so many times before already, but: Max Verstappen was a child when he made it into the world of F1. But he's not a child anymore, which a concerning amount of people seem to be blissfully and willfully ignorant to. Max has grown and matured so much in the years he's been in F1. And, like most other people, Max Verstappen the adult is not the same person as Max Verstappen the teenager, or Max Verstappen the child. And he hasn’t been anything like his 17-year old self in a long, long time. But this, of course, is something his haters will never accept or acknowledge.

I truly believe, from the very bottom of my heart, that Max is always so nice and welcoming towards rookies, always willing to lend a hand or giving them advice, always going out of his way to praise and support them, because practically no one ever did that for him when he was a rookie. And that speaks volumes about his character and the kind of man he has grown into since making his debut.

You're not delusional at all, anon, and having only followed F1 since last year means it's not surprising that you don't see the very outdated and frankly incredibly incorrect persona the people who dislike Max will always keep trying to convince themselves and others is still him. Because it isn’t — not even close. Practically every single person who has worked with or been around Max in the past few years all say the same thing: that he's funny, easy-going, and one of the genuinely kindest people on the grid. And that means a hell of a lot more than the opinions of people who have never and will never know him, and have made it their personal, sad mission to hate him. So you keep holding on to the impression you have of him, anon, because that is a far more accurate representation than the image some people are so hellbent of painting of him. (He’s definitely not naïve, though, not even close.)

And I absolutely agree: he looks even softer and cuddlier when he's streaming at home! I love streamer!Max so much.

"When Charles came to F1 Max finally had kinda his person there". <- You are spot on with this, anon! I've talked about the special bond I think these two share in the past, like in this post, and so have many others. (@tsarinablogs @valyrfia @thearchercore to name a few - highly recommend checking out their blogs if you haven’t already!) It truly seems like they have never, and will never, see any other driver as a big a rival as the other, and the numerous accounts of their karting days from people who got to watch them battle first-hand from such a young age definitely backs up that claim. And I think that's so beautiful, and it's one of the many, many reasons why these two are so dear to me, and why other F1 ships will never be able to come close.

P.S. That makes me so happy to hear, anon, thank you so, so much. 🥹❤️

[syuga-s]

who do you blame?

w.c. 11.9k pairing. Yoongi x fem!reader, Taehyung x fem!reader genre. hello again ANGST, slight smut, romance a/n. NSFW MDNI !!! curse words, alcohol, sexual content (just fingering this time),, i may or may not have a second part to this fic 😼 ENJOY pookies <3

Don’t know if I can call it insomnia if I literally sleep at this hour all the time.

I want to dye my hair black again.

But this restlessness feels different.

Maybe that third cup of coffee’s doing its thing.

I was so close to having a panic attack; I did cry, though. And I still want to for a variety of reasons.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things this week. I really want to see Yoongi like, right now. That’s how I know I’m not doing well.

Lately, I’ve been pondering the idea of resentment and how it means that envy is the emotion you’re feeling. At first, I dismissed it because how do you go from one emotion to a completely different one? But hell maybe they’re right.

I may envy people and their ability to forget how someone else made them feel. Or how they’re able to just overlook someone’s actions. Because I can’t do that. I take everything to heart.

How can you not when those actions were directed at you? Even though I’m used to excusing them and saying, “maybe they’re going through something big, and I just got the short end of the stick,” “maybe they didn’t actually mean it,” or the great, “maybe you’re not the only one that they treated like that, don’t feel so special.”

Alright, but why does it have to happen? Is it that tough to be considerate of someone’s feelings?

Good thing I haven’t texted Yoongi. I’m pretty sure I’m having a weak moment.

Do I want to keep up with that mess? Because that’s what it is.

I just can’t stop thinking about him. I think I miss him. But I refuse to be the one that reaches out for him this time. I’m still pondering if I genuinely miss him or if I’m just fucking lonely again.

Pretty sure it’s the second one.

At the same time, I wish he would grow up more and be ready for something serious.

“Sooooo… I dyed my hair again last night,” you confessed to Gemma on the phone. She was on her way to your house to pick you up because tonight you two were attending a concert.

Your best friend sighed, and you could practically imagine them rolling their eyes. “What color is it this time?” Gemma sounded exasperated, but she wasn’t; it didn’t even surprise her anymore. All her concerns were how you managed to not fry your hair whenever you wanted another makeover.

“I guess it looks kind of black?” You muttered and pressed your lips while you waited for your friend to say something.

“UGH, I can’t wait to see you!,” “you better be ready too because I’m hungry, and you know our pho place closes early!”

“I know, I know. Surprisingly, I AM ready; I’m just looking for my keys.”

This was your and Gemma’s ritual almost every Friday or Saturday night, depending on your plans. Tonight, it was Friday, and you had your usual king size pho, talking about work, your hair on this occasion, and most importantly, the band you were going to watch in a few hours.

You forgot to mention how you’ve been feeling about Yoongi. You thought that conversation could be saved for another time.

As soon as you arrived at the venue, the band came out.

It was one of these L.A. indie bands that both of you discovered this same year. Whenever Gemma was over at your place, you always ended up watching their music videos, fawning over the vocalist. So, when you found out they were doing a concert soon, you knew you had to be there.

It lasted around an hour, which was a little underwhelming compared to the other concerts you’ve attended. Still, all was forgotten because that damn vocalist was as dreamy as you imagined.

When the concert ended, Gemma and you found yourselves a table to keep talking over drinks. You didn’t count on Sam, one of your other friends, calling and telling you she was coming over.

You didn’t usually mixed your plans, but it felt kind of inevitable tonight.

You also thought the place felt kind of dead and guessed it wouldn’t hurt to have more people with you.

Sam arrived with her brother’s girlfriend. Before anything else could be said, they both said, “This place is dead.”

“What were you doing in here?”

You laughed at the confused expression your friend had on her face. She knew you were at a concert, but you then explained you were just sitting and drinking, nothing special.

“We should go somewhere else! What do you say about going downtown?” The brother’s girlfriend addressed you.

You pursed your lips and turned to look at Gemma to ask her what she wanted to do. “I’m staying over with you, so I’m giving you the privilege of deciding.” You smiled at your friend and thought about it. You wanted to keep drinking; it was barely 11 p.m.

You turned to Sam to tell her it was okay, but before you opened your mouth, she tried to convince you, “Come on, let’s just go for a while; Hoseok’s over there with some friends!”

Hoseok is Sam’s brother.

Hoseok is Yoongi’s best friend.

It’s pretty evident that wherever Hoseok was, Yoongi was there too.

Fuck, did I manifest this?

“Let’s go then.”

What a miracle, what a coincidence.

A kiss on the cheek. All kind. Warm greetings—the kind that makes you want to kill whoever invented manners. You see each other from time to time, often at random places and gatherings like tonight.

You haven’t seen Yoongi in over ten months.

You haven’t seen him since that last date you had. If you can call it that.

Last year, life was kicking your ass, and Yoongi was everything you had. You truly needed someone, and he stayed with you throughout the messiest months of your life. He was your everything.

You were perfectly aware he was never going to be serious about you. He’s been in your life for eight years, and both of you have left the other countless times before. You two were just a bad joke. You never understood why he always insisted on coming back to your life just for him to treat you like always. Never something special. Never been the exception, always the rule.

But for those seven months, he acted like the person you always wanted him to be. You knew you were both a joke, but you always liked what “us” meant with him.

Last Christmas was the first time you spent a holiday together. It felt so important to you back then as if life was finally going your way.

You never expected what he had to say to you right on that day.

“First of all, Merry Christmas, honey”. He smiled as he looked at you. “You know I’ll always wish for you and your family to be healthy. I know this is important to you, but I’m sure you can rest a bit about that matter from now on.”

“I’m really happy you’re spending these days with me. You know I’m not fond of the holidays, but I want you to know this feels important to me.”

“I genuinely, truly, really want to keep you with me and for us to go out as much as we can, if you want to, of course. Because to be honest, if it were up to me, we would be doing a bunch of stuff together all the time, but it’s not just a matter of me wanting, so I hope you’d like that too.”

With his words, you went through all the emotions known to mankind. It’s been the first time you’ve heard something like that coming from him, and you felt strange. Thinking how you may have wanted that for years, now when it’s actually happening, you feel so disconnected from yourself, you start to think, “What can he possibly like in me? I’ve only shown him chaos these past months.”

But as soon as that thought crossed your mind, your heart told you, “Yet, he’s still here.”

He made you feel safe, so you committed to being the best version of yourself once again. After all you’ve been through, he’s never stopped being so good and patient with you.

He’s always going to have a piece of your heart.

Then came the inevitable change of heart one of you had every time.

This time, it happened to him. Of course.

You were supposed to go out one night, but you ended up going home in the middle of the “date.”

It’s like you weren’t talking to Yoongi anymore. He was acting cold, apathetic, indifferent, you name it.

You felt awful on your way home. You didn’t even want to think about the reason for his attitude towards you.

You wanted to feel hopeful, happy, and even in love, but it didn’t feel like that anymore. You wanted to trust in what Yoongi had told you just a few weeks ago. Maybe it was just something you wanted to hear, but you didn’t catch on to the intentions behind his words.

I actually fell for it this time.

There have been multiple times when you told yourself there was no future for you two. Why do you keep staying? It just makes you feel like shit in the end.

I just keep building unrealistic expectations, as if there was actually someone who could save me from my own problems1.

This time, you were hoping he was tired of you and would finally choose not to be with you anymore.

Farewell comes. Once again, you bury memories deep in the deepest ocean. Then it comes back and floats up.

There were eight people sitting close together at a little round table, and to your luck, you ended up facing Yoongi.

Beer never stopped coming to your table.

You had an impressive way of acting as if everything was normal. You were always like this. Of course, Yoongi made you angry, but you’ve never resented him for something. Acting full of hostility in front of both of your friends would never be one of your goals.

On some other occasion, maybe you would’ve ignored him and his glances, but you can’t deny that you’ve wanted to see and talk to him for the past few weeks.

Your friends weren’t fond of your “relationship,” yet they were always curious about how you two treated each other whenever you saw each other after a while. Everyone always knew when you two were together and how many months you had spent without talking.

You can’t tell if that’s good or not, but everyone knew it was just a matter of time before you started seeing each other again.

Tonight was going well. You haven’t seen Hoseok or the other guys in a while. Aside from whatever you had with Yoongi, they were your friends, too. Not too long ago, you always went out on weekends to bars, parties, and the occasional concerts.

Ever since you distanced yourself from them a little, they got into relationships. It wasn’t until today that you actually spent time with them and their partners and got to know them a little.

Jimin was sitting on your right, and eventually, you found yourselves talking apart from the others. He started telling you about his partner and how he got in a little fight with them over whether it’s right or not to look at other people at the gym.

Later, the others were all over that topic, arguing whether it was socially acceptable or not to look at someone else at the gym while your partner was there with you. All the alcohol you’ve drank made itself present. Your overall volume rose with each minute, with everyone voicing their opinions.

You had already told tipsy Jimin your point of view, so you got fed up with the subject when it turned into an actual discussion between Hoseok and his partner.

Sam and Gemma were still talking with Jimin over what he did, his partner’s words, and whatnot. So you found your chance to get up and go to the jukebox.

It took less than two minutes of you looking through the catalog when you suddenly saw a tall figure standing by your side.

“Hi,” he said.

You turned to look straight into his eyes. “Hi.”

“You look radiant, better than before.”

You bit your smile back and answered, “can’t complain.” Still searching for a song.

He came closer to you, “we meet again.”

A smile escaped from you. “It’s been almost a year, huh.”

Now they’re walking on ice. To see who slips first. No strings intertwined. They were never anything, but there was always something.

“I know, it’s crazy.” He wasn’t going to waste any more time. “Can we meet later?”

There was something.

“My friend is staying over.” You had already picked two songs but still had three more credits.

“I can come by.”

You were thinking hard about which songs to pick, but Yoongi was making it really hard to concentrate.

Of course, I want you to come over. Yet, I still want to hang on to the small remains of my pride.

“I think it would be better if we go out sometime this week if you want.”

Filled with anxiety over what you were arranging, you started tapping your fingers against the machine, not remembering which artist you were looking for in the first place.

“I thought you no longer wanted to see me.”

You lifted your chin to look at him and gave him a smirk. “Well,” you said with a nervous laugh, “I did, but I can’t lie to you; I’ve been thinking about you for days.”

“Why?”

“Why? What do you mean why?”

“I don’t know, I thought you were done with me.”

“Yoongi, we can’t talk about that here.”

You were finally searching for the last song. “Well, I’ll see you at your house later.”

Again, you turned to look at him but gave him an annoyed expression. You kept going through Pink Floyd’s songs, your distress not letting you find your favorite song by them.

“Can I? Just for a while. I want to talk to you.”

“Talk about what Yoongi?”

Finally, <The Great Gig in the Sky>.

“About why you left like that back then.”

You finally turned your whole body to answer him, “Alright then, you can come by later.” And with that, you returned to your seat at the table. Everyone asked what took you so long, and while you explained that you couldn’t find the songs you wanted, Yoongi came back to his seat, too. All eyes were on you, his included.

It actually got you happy that he talked to you first.

Untethered intertwining. They were never anything, but there was always something.

Sam, Hoseok, and his girlfriend left around 2 a.m., but the rest of you kept finding things to talk about.

You never stopped drinking, but you weren’t feeling drunk yet. In one of your trips to the bathroom, Gemma told you she liked Yoongi for the first time, and it got you all giddy. As you were walking back, you and Yoongi couldn’t take your eyes off of each other. Both of you were getting impatient to finally be alone again.

You’re both talking to your friends, and you’re laughing, and you look across the table. You’re not even far apart, but you catch each other’s eyes, and it’s this secret that exists right there, unnoticed, and no one else knows about it, no one else but you and Yoongi.

The rest of your friends were already drunk, so he told you, “We should go.”

“Come on, I’ll take you both home.”

Gemma hopped in the back of his car, and you got yourself in the passenger seat.

All your actions were too familiar for someone who hasn’t seen this guy in over ten months.

The next thing you knew, your phone connected automatically to his car, and he urged you to put some music on.

It was until this moment, on your way to your house, that you realized you were very drunk. You don’t even remember which playlist or songs you played.

When you arrived home, you gathered all your might to get Gemma inside. (Yoongi helped you open all the doors and, most importantly, carry Gemma to your room).

You got Gemma into your bed, changed her clothes, and left her a glass of water on your bedside table. You also used the moment to gulp a glass of water yourself. Meanwhile, Yoongi was already settled in your living room, his eyes not leaving you. Lying on your couch, recognizing when you were feeling more than tipsy. “Are you drunk?”

His voice scared you for a second. You did not realize he was still there or that he was watching your every move. Your smile gave away that you were indeed feeling a little drunk.

“A little? Maybe?”

The way he laughs always gets you. It has this cute yet manly note that you’ve always loved so much.

You curled up on your couch next to Yoongi, facing him. You truly wanted to hear what he wanted to talk about, but this newfound comfort of being on your couch made you sleepy. At the same time, the way he was looking at you was letting the alcohol in your system wear out.

His heavy gaze no longer made you think about talking with him. All you wanted was for him to hold you and kiss you like he used to as if he couldn’t wait any longer to press his lips on yours, to interrupt you while you were saying something with a kiss filled with the desire you both had for the other.

“Are you dating someone else?” His question shocked you. You looked at him wide-eyed. Yoongi looked directly at your eyes like they were the only thing in the room, fearing that if he looked somewhere else, he’d miss the truth coming from your eyes.

Your face turned into a frown, and drinking in his words confused you. You sat straight to ask your first question, but he beat you to it. “Is that why you left me?” The blood drained from your face.

Is he serious? Is he genuinely clueless? Or is he just being stupid?

“Is that what you want to hear? That I’ve been dating around?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that you disappeared again; if you wanted me to go to hell, you could’ve said so.”

“What are you even saying, Yoongi?”

“I thought you were dating someone.” He let out what must have been a bitter laugh.

“Well, I’m not… I don’t have time to go out with ‘people’.”

Do you even know why it’s so goddamn impossible for me to let you go? Because every song, every moment, and every person reminds me of you.

Why did you even want to see him this time around? Have you ever thought about that? It didn’t even matter because it was always the same. You suddenly forget how you feel or whatever you wanted to say as soon as you’re in front of him. Even if you said something, he wasn’t going to listen. He never does.

“Are you dating someone?”

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about. I need to know why you left me that night.”

“So, you are dating someone...”

“Just tell me why you left me.”

“Fine, I bet I won’t even remember this in the morning,” you laugh softly, maybe in preparation for what you would say next.

You collapse back onto your couch, sighing as your head sinks into the soft cushions. Your eyes drift upward, fixating on the blank expanse of the ceiling above you.

“It’s just that… I don’t know; that day, you were acting so strange toward me, and I truly thought you weren’t my Yoongi anymore. It’s like you were dying to get out of there, and I figured it would be better if I was the one who left first”. You smiled, but everyone could have seen the bitterness behind it. “I trust- no, I hoped… that what you told me that you wanted for us was true, but I couldn’t see a trace of that in you anymore. I didn’t want to turn into an anxious mess and think about you non-stop or… try to find out why you acted like that, so yeah, I left you again.”

He felt a tightness in his chest when he heard you say, “My Yoongi.” It wasn’t helping that your words sounded so real to him at that moment. This was easily the third time he’d seen you somewhat vulnerable. He was going to regret talking about this.

“Do you want me to ask you what was going on with you that day?” Your head was still on the couch, but it was now turned to get a better look at his face. You were still smiling.

He thought, Why is she smiling? Why is she always smiling?

“But you said you weren’t gonna remember this in the morning.” There goes his sweet laugh again.

“We can try.”

“Can we try with a kiss instead?”

Only the sound of cars driving by could be heard.

You don’t even remember that kiss anymore.

That should have been a dead giveaway that everything was bound to turn out very wrong after that night.

The following days were even worse. Your conversations over text were boring and awkward. You felt that he was being an ass on purpose, as if he was making you pay for what you “put” him through. Sick and tired. That’s how you were beginning to feel towards this ongoing joke. Over the week, you started remembering the first thing you wrote about him. It was the first time you’d drifted apart.

“I want to see you. I want to be with you now. I hate feeling this needy. I like you so much that I don’t know what to do with all these emotions. Remember that night when we kissed for the first time? Our lips touched, and I think my heart lost its rhythm for a few minutes. It’s okay if you don’t remember it the way I do. But I want you to know that I’ll never forget how you made me feel that night. I think I fell in love with you since then. I’ve missed you almost every day since you left. I realized that I look pretty when I’m sad, but I look prettier when somebody says your name, and I smile uncontrollably. I wish I could explain the physical pain I feel inside my chest when I think about you. And I wish that pain could be erased if we’re being honest. I don’t know what’s wrong with us. I’m running out of ideas to make this work, and I feel like if I don’t do something to save us, you won’t do it either; even though I know you care, I know you’re just going to stand there, arms crossed watching everything drift away. I can’t get out of my head that time you said that you felt that you were hurting me instead of making me feel good, and I said that sometimes I think I hate you. I swear I didn’t mean it. It’s just that I’m too scared of losing you for good because I have this feeling that I won’t feel like this ever again; I’m afraid I’ll have to lose this part of myself that feels genuinely in love with someone. I thought we were made for each other. I thought you were one of my soulmates. I still think we are. But we keep fucking it up every single time. I won’t lie; I’m fine some days, but the smallest things break me. I know it’s not your fault that I’m so damn sensitive, but my feelings have always been this intense, this is who I am, and I was hoping that you would learn to love the whole mess that I am just as much as I love yours. It’s not that I can’t be with someone else and forget about you—I know I can—but I don’t want to be without you. I don’t know what it is about this day, but my head feels so much heavier when we’re having problems. I feel mad at you, and I bet you’re mad at me, too. Have I always been this hard? Or are you just realizing that being with me is a lot of work and I’m not worth it? I’m not ready to let you go. You’re the only guy I’ve ever wanted to keep around. You treat me so well when we’re together. I love when you take my hand in yours. I love every time it’s just you and me, and we talk about life. There’s no one for me but you. You’re the only face I can see. I hope you know I’m only pretending to hate you when I love you so much. After all, I’ll always hope it’s you and me in the end. I’m happy if I get to be with you.”

That was seven fucking years ago. Funny huh?

It was never supposed to turn out like this. Who would’ve thought that someone could pull you down like this under the guise of love? Was it really only an individual’s fault?

Did it keep going because no one wanted to be the bad guy? If we didn’t have feelings for each other, if we didn’t think of each other, would we have dragged it on like this?

Those words played over and over again in your head. Whenever you came to be together again, that was eventually all you wondered about.

That first letter was born when the first layer that was blinding you was uncovered. It was as if something was finally letting you see the shape of the person Yoongi was—or at least the person he was with you.

Next year. The second “letter” came.

“Everything’s been so weird lately. I don’t get you. You didn’t talk to me for three days, yet you still think I’ll say yes when you want to see me late at night when you finally feel like it? Seriously? I’m angry at you, but mostly, I’m angry at myself. How can I be so blind to not realize that nothing will ever happen between us? Why am I still here? I know it’s because I want to be with someone, but maybe that person is not you. Because if you wanted to, we would be something by now. I know you won’t ever change because it’s been 2 years since this started, and you’re still the same. Maybe I fell in love with the hope and longing. All I did was imagine myself with you, I thought I was being patient about us. I can’t help but be a hopeless romantic, that’s all I’ve been my whole life. Occasionally, I find myself doing dumb shit all the time, like apologizing to the stars on behalf of both of us for not keeping our promises. I’ve been thinking about how sad I have been lately. Telling myself I’m stupid for loving you after all you’ve made me go through, how useless I feel, and how painful every day gets, honestly, this love I feel for you is making me crazy. But I shouldn’t be worrying about this. I know it may seem complicated to live with a broken heart, crying until your tears make you blind. I keep saying to myself, “It’s time you get yourself together, fall in love with yourself again, and forgive yourself for thinking you were stupid when you only acted out of love for someone who couldn’t see all you were.” But let’s be honest, being aware of all this still doesn’t make it any easier. I still feel so lost. And confused. I wish I knew how to stop loving you. I miss my peace of mind. I know what I’m supposed to do but don’t know where to start. I know that one day we’ll cross paths again, and I won’t feel a thing anymore, but until then, I’ll keep trying to convince myself that I don’t want you anymore. What have you done to me? What have I done to myself? What is it about you that ended up putting me through this hell? For the past few months, we barely saw each other. I still remember the last words we exchanged, and I feel sick, I keep wishing you would’ve done something else, hoping you would’ve said something different, but wishing for this doesn’t matter anymore, I’ll just keep hurting myself if I keep thinking about this version of you that I kept romanticizing. I’m tired now. All this was too much for me. But let me tell you one thing. I never even thought for a second that I was wasting my time with you. Not even when all my friends told me so. I took pride in myself for “knowing” when a guy doesn’t want you, but you were so confusing. You used to always be there. You knew exactly what to do and what to say so I could keep my love alive, making me think that maybe one day we would be together, but now I’m truly fed up with you. I’m angry. I know I can live without talking to you, but I don’t think I can be in the same room with you and not feel a thing. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand me. I want us to end on good terms because I know it’ll be impossible for us to stop seeing each other. So please help me, because this won’t be easy for me. I still care about you. I love you, but I can’t do this anymore. I need to keep crying, but understand me, I’m not crying for you. It’s just that I have so much inside me that I could never say to you. I know now that I was too much for you.”

In the span of two years, all that relationship lay before your eyes, yet somehow you didn’t want to see it. You decided to keep your hope alive even if it hurt you.

Several breakups between the two of you. A few relationships with other people in the middle of it all. Countless times you wanted to run to him just one more time. The occasional texts came from him, asking how you were and if you wanted to meet again.

You tried to be strong most of the time. You even felt you had gotten over Yoongi on every period where you’d stopped running into him. Those were the times when it was easy. But it was also quite embarrassing how quickly you’d fall into his trap once he got into your head again.

So yeah, you caved in after that kiss from last night.

You were letting this happen. You wanted this on this occasion.

It should be fine, right?

Eventually, after a few weeks, both of you started sorting out your emotions and everything felt pretty normal again.

Why do I make things so complicated when there’s no need to?

You can’t help but doubt yourself and doubt him. You want to know what’s in his head, yet you know it should be enough for you that he wants to keep seeing you.

All these doubts made you realize that maybe, just maybe, you’re treating this in the same way you would’ve years ago.

Just focus on the now.

Aside from that…

You like him very much. He can talk about a bunch of things with you. He can be cute when he wants to be. You used to have a lot in common in terms of music. You like his style. And let’s not get started on his tattoos. ON TOP OF THAT, HIS ARMS. For some weird reason, I always forget he has dimples.

Ultimately, years pass and you always run back to him. You genuinely enjoy being in the same room as him.

No one has gotten close to how he makes you feel. Every time you see him again, everything feels the same. Your feelings towards him haven’t changed.

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle but never break.

A month later

Ah, shit.

You were having a relatively good weekend. It was the 4th of July. You spent it with your family and now it was almost midnight but you were still texting with your best friend. She was at a party with Sam, Jess, and all the guys. You were experiencing a mild fomo, but you had a deal with your parents, so you had to pass that party this time.

Even Jungkook texted you earlier asking why you weren’t there. But that’s another story.

Your best friend was getting drunker with every text she sent, but she had put herself on the task of updating you with all of Yoongi’s whereabouts and doings.

I mean go ahead I guess. It makes me feel like it’s my fault for not showing enough interest again. This is making me uneasy. Because I like him but turns out he doesn’t like me enough? I WANT TO SCREAM.

I shouldn’t be angry because it’s my fault. I know so. I’m not trying enough, and maybe this was bound to happen. I can’t ask him to just talk to me. He needs to live his life too, he’s human, and he gets tired of waiting for someone who doesn’t seem “invested” in him. FUCK.

He ended up coming to your place around 1 a.m.

And this time, you actually talked. You were worried he’d drank too much, but he showed to be as sober as one can be.

Before he got there, you were extremely nervous, but once you sat with him on your couch, all your tension and fears calmed down. You valued that he was able to make you feel that way.

Your feelings went on a rollercoaster in a matter of a few hours, it was so fucking strange to read those words. To paint yourself a picture of what Yoongi was doing with you.

“Why weren’t you at the party?”

“I spent the whole weekend with my parents, so I couldn’t go.” “I wanted to, though.”

“It would’ve been cool if you had gone, everyone was asking about you.”

A smirk appeared on your face. “And what did you tell ’em?”

“That you didn’t want to see me,” He joked.

You started playing with him.

“That’s sliiightly true,”

After that, he laughed but got closer to you. He even got a lot more talkative, narrating to you everything he and your friends did earlier on. You were pretty entranced in him. It’s risky when you love to hear someone just talk. He took in the way you were gazing at him and figured there was no point in wasting more time. It was obvious Yoongi only went to your place to see if he was getting lucky tonight.

You realized his face was inching closer to yours. Your eyes scanning his own. Him doing the same, with the occasional glance at your lips. You weren’t gonna kiss him. Still, you let him get close enough so your lips could brush each other.

Then you smiled.

You weren’t gonna miss the chance to let him try to explain to you what the hell was going on, so you thought you’d go straight to the point.

“Can I ask you something?”

He returned your smile.

“Wait, let me guess”- “You want to know if I have a girlfriend”.

Motherfucker.

Your smile faltered slightly at him guessing the question, but he maintained eye contact with you. “Yeah, I figured that’s what you wanted to ask,” he replied. His tone is a mix of playfulness and seriousness. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

The way his mind immediately went there. We’ll worry about that later.

Yoongi’s words echoed in your ears, you couldn’t help but believe him. There was something about his voice, his gaze, that made you blindly trust his every word.

Yoongi’s expression softened, his gaze unwavering. “I want you to know that I’m being genuine right now. I don’t have a girlfriend, I’m not seeing anybody formally, romantically, emotionally, or whatever you imagined. I want to give us a chance to make things right for you.”

You clung to the hope that this time he was telling the truth.

A sense of relief washed over you as you leaned closer to Yoongi. Ignoring the cautionary whispers in the back of your mind, you let yourself be swept away by his intoxicating presence.

His lips met yours in a passionate kiss, and for a moment, it felt like all your doubts and worries faded away.

Days turned into weeks, and you reveled in the blissful illusion of having Yoongi in your life once again. Yoongi seemed attentive, caring, and utterly devoted to you. He showered you with affection, making you believe that you were his only one this time.

Over the next months, your interactions with Yoongi were limited to texts. There were no dates or visits to your house or his place, for that matter. It’s like he was growing bored. But that’s nothing new anymore.

You started to grow tired of his refusal to let you go, even if he didn’t like you the way you liked him. You knew it was time to move on and find someone who would honestly reciprocate your feelings.

And then, on a spontaneous note, one day, you stumbled upon someone through Instagram.

thv replied to your story.

It started with you two sending each other songs for a few days.

Then, when you got to actually talk to him. You realized he was funny, his music taste almost immaculate, he was extremely nice to you, and he cared about what you had to say. You basically had the same interests. And hands down, you enjoyed talking to him a lot.

Ever since you started talking to this new guy, called Taehyung, you felt like something had shifted in your life. And it’s only been 3 days since then.

This time, it turned out you were wrong. Wrong about everything.

I can’t regret anything, because I tried, I wholeheartedly tried. I don’t plan to try and understand him anymore.

Yoongi had been lying through his teeth the whole time. He did have a girlfriend, and he reveled in his power over you. He enjoyed playing with your emotions, relishing in his control over you.

You found out a few days ago, and you struggled to know what to do. You weren’t going to just ghost him. You couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive toward him, and it showed in your texts.

But you weren’t counting on that he was even more of a cynic than you. And you were getting angrier that he wouldn’t accept anything and refused to let the conversation die.

So yeah, it took 3 days.

It took you that long to get yourself way ahead of everything. About Taehyung specifically.

You don’t remember having met him before.

If only you knew that he remembers the first time he saw you in college and several parties after that.

He’d grown attracted to you every time he saw you. However, you never once seemed to acknowledge his presence.

And don’t get him wrong. He didn’t mind. You were just a platonic interest. Somehow he knew you weren’t exactly available even if he never saw you with a guy before.

He just took his chance a few days ago, not expecting anything. Just with the simple excuse of finally getting to know you.

He was a good listener, interested in your thoughts. With each message exchanged, your connection grew extremely fast.

This got you scared. You had barely talked to him and were already getting VERY INTERESTED.

On the fourth day, he invited you to the movies, but ended up going out to two bars and then dancing.

You shared even more stories, talked about your dreams, and even found yourselves discussing your insecurities in your love life.

Taehyung made you feel seen, heard, and valued – something you hadn’t felt in a long time. He was patient and understood your reservations.

On the cab, in the way back to your place, you rested your head on his shoulder, hand in hand, you truly felt so calm, it had been the nicest date ever.

Hell, you haven’t even had a proper date in years. So, no one can blame you when you finally let yourself be vulnerable for once.

Taehyung knew he’d like you, but never to this extent. He wasn’t scared when he realized he was falling in love with you. All he wanted was to see you every single day from now on. He took the initiative to plan a date next week, but you went out of town to visit your cousin.

So Monday it is. There was only one thing that you had to take care of. Before you let yourself move on to the next step in your love life.

Dealing with Yoongi was getting tiring, so it finally happened. The long overdue conversation occurred. Over texts, but it happened.

For once, you didn’t see the point in continuing. You and Yoongi have been through this road way too many times, and nothing has changed.

You decided to cut ties with Yoongi for good on that Monday. From now on, Taehyung could be the only one in your head.

As you were getting ready for your date with Taehyung, you couldn’t help but think about your conversation with Yoongi just a few hours ago. It was strange how life presented you with new opportunities right on the heels of letting go of the past. The decision to leave Yoongi was still fresh in your mind, but you hoped that this date with Taehyung would make you feel different, as bad as it could sound, but a distraction to that awful bit.

Taehyung took you to the movies, and from the moment the film began, your hands found each other’s, fingers intertwining. The dimly lit theater provided the perfect backdrop for this quiet display of affection. The movie itself was fun at times, but it was almost a blur of scenes and dialogue because your attention was elsewhere. You didn’t realize that Taehyung also spent that entire hour and a half not watching the movie, but watching you. He observed the way your eyes lit up at the funny parts, the sound of your laughter made his heart skip a beat. It was as if he had his own private screening of your reactions, and to him, it was the most captivating thing in the world.

The next stop on your adventure was an arcade, a place filled with flashing lights and the noise of all the games you can imagine. You couldn’t resist the air hockey table, and without hesitation, you both grabbed the paddles. As the puck glided across the smooth surface, it was evident that both of you were really good at it. Soon, a couple of small kids had gathered around, their eyes wide with fascination as they watched you play.

Taehyung, multitasking effortlessly, started chatting with them while maintaining his competitive spirit. A little girl, no older than seven, stood beside you, her eyes sparkling with innocence. She looked up at you with a hopeful smile and asked, “Are you going to beat your boyfriend?” Her question caught you off guard, and you burst into laughter at her adorable bluntness. Taehyung, engrossed in his conversation with the other kids, didn’t hear the question. All he could see was how your laughter sounded like the sweetest melody in the world.

Distracted by your laugh, Taehyung lost to you in the game. The little kids erupted in cheers, celebrating your victory as if you had just won a championship. They eagerly lined up to give you high-fives, momentarily forgetting that Taehyung even existed. That was until he, still keen on entertaining the kids, asked if they knew how to play. The result was an excited chorus of enthusiastic and loud ‘yes’s’.

It was an endearing sight as Taehyung listened attentively to the kids. Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but smile at how easily he connected with them.

“Okay, guys, what’s the next game we should play?” Taehyung asked, genuinely intrigued by their suggestions.

The kids seemed to have a dozen ideas at once, and it was all a jumble of arcade classics, from racing games to shooting hoops. One girl, with a mischievous glint in her eye, pointed at the dance machine in the corner.

“Can we try that dance game?” she asked, her excitement infectious.

Taehyung exchanged a playful glance with you, and you both agreed, despite the potential embarrassment that awaited you. The music blared from the machine, and you gave it your all, dancing like nobody was watching (except a group of kids, of course). Taehyung joined in nervously, even though his dancing skills were almost too good.

The kids burst into laughter at everyone’s dance moves, cheering you on with each step. It was one of those moments where embarrassment turned into pure joy, and you couldn’t have cared less about who was watching.

It was heartwarming to see him engage with them, making sure each child had a good time. After making sure the kids had enough tokens to keep playing, Taehyung gently took your hand, and together you wandered through the arcade. The place was a riot of flashing lights and game sounds, but it all faded into the background as you explored hand in hand.

Eventually, you came across the game involving knocking down rows of clown figures. You both paused, taking in the challenge. With the timer ticking down, Taehyung turned to you. His eyes sparkled with affection, and amidst the blinking lights and arcade tunes, he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

You paused for a moment, your heart racing as you looked into Taehyung’s eyes. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to kiss him - far from it. In fact, you felt a strong pull towards him, a connection that seemed to grow with every passing second. Even more so, after the side of him you saw today.

But there was something holding you back, a nagging doubt that whispered in the back of your mind. You had just met Taehyung, and even though the chemistry between you two was sweet, you wanted to take things slow. You didn’t want to rush into anything, not after what you’d been through with Yoongi.

So, with a soft smile, you gently shook your head and replied, “Not yet.” It was a response that carried a promise, a promise that there would be time for kisses and more in the future, once you were both ready to take that step. Taehyung nodded understandingly, his smile mirroring your own, and you continued your adventure to a bar, still hand in hand.

As you settled into a cozy corner of the bar, the atmosphere shifted, becoming more intimate. The soft hum of conversation, clinking glasses, and mellow jazz music in the background created the perfect backdrop for a meaningful conversation.

You started by talking about your time at the arcade, laughing about how the kids had cheered for you when you won the game. Taehyung joined in, sharing his amusement at their excitement. It was a light and joyful conversation that made you feel even closer to him.

Taehyung was genuinely interested in getting to know you better. He asked about your family, and you shared stories about your parents and siblings. In turn, he spoke fondly about his own family, reminiscing about childhood memories and you noticed how much he loved them.

Work became the next topic of discussion. You both talked about your careers, your aspirations, and the challenges you faced in life. Taehyung’s dedication and passion for his job shone through, and you found yourself admiring his determination.

As the night wore on, the conversation deepened. You talked about life, dreams, and the things that truly mattered to you. It was a conversation that left you feeling a sense of connection you hadn’t experienced in a long time. You realized that this was different from anything you had with Yoongi, something that was still scary to you.

As the night progressed and the conversation with Taehyung deepened, you couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast between him and Yoongi. Taehyung’s genuine interest in getting to know you, his kindness, and his openness were like a breath of fresh air compared to the complexity and uncertainty of your history with Yoongi.

The realization that this connection with Taehyung was different, something new and potentially beautiful, both excited and scared you. It was scary because it meant stepping out of your comfort zone, venturing into unfamiliar territory, and leaving behind the emotional rollercoaster that had defined your relationship with Yoongi.

But that fear didn’t deter you. In fact, it fueled a sense of courage you hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe you were ready to embrace something real, something stable, and something built on honesty and trust. It was a daunting prospect, but for the first time in a while, it might be worth taking that leap into the unknown.

The night had stretched on longer than you had initially planned, but you didn’t mind one bit. In fact, you didn’t want it to end.

As Taehyung’s car pulled up to your place, reality seemed to rush back in. With the engine turned off and the night’s silence settling around you, you both remained seated in the car. It was one of those moments where time felt suspended, and neither of you seemed in a hurry to say goodbye.

You gazed into Taehyung’s eyes, his warm and sincere gaze locked onto yours. Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt a mix of anticipation and nervousness. You knew what you wanted, and in this moment, you felt a surge of courage you hadn’t experienced before.

Taehyung’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper, as he said, “I had a really great time tonight.”

You smiled, your heart racing. “Me too,” you admitted, your voice equally hushed.

For a moment, neither of you moved, the weight of the unspoken words hanging in the air.

Finally, you took a deep breath, your nervousness mingling with excitement. “Taehyung, can I ask you something?”

His eyes were curious. “Of course.”

Without overthinking it, you leaned in, closing the gap between you and Taehyung. In the dimly lit car, your lips finally met a gentle and electrifying connection that seemed to seal the promise of something new, something real.

As you pulled away, your foreheads touching, you whispered, “I’ve actually been wanting to do that all night.”

Taehyung chuckled, feeling a newfound hope. “Me too.”

Unable to resist kissing him way longer, you reached out again. The kiss started slow, a tantalizing exploration of each other’s lips. Your mouth was warm and inviting, and Taehyung couldn’t resist the urge to deepen the kiss.

Your lips moved together with a fiery passion, tongues dancing in a tango. There were no more words, just the intoxicating taste of each other. Your hands roamed, tracing all of his torso, igniting a fiery desire within both of you.

Taehyung bit your lower lip, sending shivers down your spine, and you responded with a soft moan. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as the kiss grew more fervent. It was a hunger that had been building all night, and now it was impossible to contain.

The kiss was wild, a passionate exchange, a language of desire and longing. You explored every inch of each other’s mouths, savoring the taste of your newfound connection.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were left breathless, lips swollen and hearts pounding. Taehyung’s eyes bore into yours, filled with an intensity that matched the fiery kiss you had just shared.

He whispered, his voice husky, “I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I saw you.”

You grinned, your own desire burning bright. “I’m glad we finally did.”

As you entered your home, the soft glow of your phone illuminated the room. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw a series of texts from Taehyung, sent with an urgency that mirrored the fiery passion of your kiss.

From that moment on, there wasn’t a single time of day when you weren’t texting each other. The connection between you two was electric, and it seemed like every message, every word, only deepened your bond. It didn’t take long for Taehyung to invite you again on a date, and he chose a taproom for the occasion.

Taehyung arrived the following Saturday at your doorstep around 7 p.m., his charming smile lighting up the evening. Dressed casually but looking effortlessly handsome, he greeted you warmly.

“Hey there,” he said, his voice a pleasant melody. “Ready for our night out?”

With a nod and an excited smile, you locked the door behind you and joined him. The short drive to the taproom was filled with easy conversation and soft laughs. When you arrived, you were greeted not just by the cozy atmosphere of the taproom but also by some of Taehyung’s friends who had already gathered there.

Taehyung couldn’t contain his excitement about introducing you to his friends. He made the rounds, enthusiastically presenting you to each one of them, his introductions filled with admiration. As the evening went on, his friends couldn’t help but tease you both when they knew you weren’t officially a couple.

However, that made them gush about Taehyung. They spoke of his kindness, his sense of humor, and his unwavering loyalty. They assured you that you’d found someone truly special, and it was clear they thought he’d done the same in finding you.

Throughout the night, amidst the clinking of glasses and the hum of conversation, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth and belonging. Taehyung’s friends were welcoming, and their approval only added to the unique feeling of the evening.

As the night continued, the connection between you and Taehyung deepened. Your hands naturally gravitated towards each other, fingers interlacing as if they had always belonged together. There was a palpable comfort in being so close, and the world around you seemed to fade into the background.

In the midst of this enchanting evening, a message from Sam popped up on your phone. She was suggesting a plan for tomorrow - a baseball game. Without a moment’s hesitation, you enthusiastically said yes.

But what made your heart race, even more, was the eagerness to include Taehyung in your plans. You turned to him, a radiant smile on your face, and said, “Hey, my friends just invited me to a baseball game tomorrow. Do you want to join us? It’d be amazing if you’d come with me.”

His eyes lit up with delight at the invitation, and he nodded, “yeah, I’d love to be there with you.”

It felt like a natural step, merging your separate worlds and bringing Taehyung closer to your heart.

In your world, your friends were your anchors, your family, and the people who knew you best. If someone couldn’t fit into that crucial part of your life, it was often a telling sign that the relationship might not make it.

As you looked forward to the baseball game the next day, there was a mixture of excitement and nervousness. You believed in Taehyung and the genuine connection you shared, but there was always that sliver of doubt. Would he mesh well with your friends? Would they see what you saw in him?

But deep down, you had a feeling that this was a significant step. If Taehyung could seamlessly become a part of your world, it would be a powerful confirmation of your relationship.

Thoughts of tomorrow’s baseball game, and the potential changes it might bring, had temporarily vanished. All you craved at that moment were the hugs, kisses, and the warmth of holding Taehyung’s hand.

The atmosphere seemed to hum with your love surge, an electric charge that coursed through you, making every moment feel like a heart-pounding adventure. As you bid farewell to Taehyung’s friends, you couldn’t wait to be alone with him, to dance again at the same bar where your love story began.

Tonight, something was different. Your excitement was on an all-time high. The tension that had built up between you over the last dates, the unspoken desires and emotions, were now rising to the surface. The connection between you two was undeniable, and your touches were igniting sparks that seemed to intensify with each passing second.

In the dimly lit bar, the pulsating beat of the music coursed through your veins, syncing with your every move. The atmosphere was charged with anticipation, and as you moved to the rhythm, your dance became a sensual invitation. Your body swayed and undulated in harmony with the music, your hips swiveling provocatively to the seductive melodies.

Taehyung watched you with desire burning in his eyes, unable to resist the magnetic pull you had on him. Your dance was a mesmerizing display of confidence and allure. Your hands moved sensually across your own body, tracing the curves and contours that begged for his touch.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Taehyung stepped closer, his hands finding their way to your hips. His touch was electric, sending shivers down your spine. His fingers traced the curve of your waist, pulling you closer to him as he succumbed to the same fiery rhythm.

Your bodies moved together, pressed intimately against each other. The heat between you grew with every tantalizing sway, and the world around you faded into obscurity. In that moment, there was only the two of you, lost in the lights of desire and passion, each movement drawing you closer to an inevitable collision of lips and bodies.

As the night at the bar wore on, the two of you shared more than just dances. After one particularly intense moment, you found yourself with your back pressed against Taehyung’s chest, the thumping bass of the music reverberating through both of you. His breath was warm against your ear, sending delightful shivers down your spine. In that space, with his arms wrapped around your waist, it felt as if the world had disappeared, leaving only the sensation of his closeness and the rhythmic beating of your hearts in unison.

Between dances, you took breaks to calm yourselves with a beer or whatever drink you saw first at the bar. Each moment spent apart only seemed to fuel the intensity of your attraction. With every sip of your drink, you couldn’t help but glance back at Taehyung, a magnetic pull drawing you together once more. The atmosphere was heady with desire, and your chemistry was through the roof. Each dance, each stolen moment, was a step closer to something neither of you could resist any longer.

After those couple of hours of dancing that left you slightly breathless, you decided to seek refuge in one of the dimly lit booths at the corner of the bar. It provided a temporary sanctuary from the dance floor, allowing you to catch your breath and collect your thoughts amidst the lust that was echoing in your ears. The low hum of laughter and conversation from people around you provided a calming backdrop as you settled in, your heart still racing from the intimate moment with Taehyung, who had managed to stir emotions you hadn’t felt in quite some time.

He slid into the seat opposite you, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers through your body. In the closeness that the booth offered, you could feel something deeper between you. It was as though the music, which had once enveloped you in its intoxicating embrace, was reduced to a mere murmur in the back.

With a playful grin, Taehyung finally broke the silence that had settled between you. “You know,” he began, his voice a low, seductive murmur, “I think we might just be causing a lot of jealous looks in here.”

You chuckled, the sound husky and filled with desire. “I noticed.”

His fingers traced patterns on the table, drawing invisible lines as he continued, “It’s not just about dancing, though. I’ve been imagining being with you like this since the first time I laid eyes on you, and it’s been killing me all night.”

You met his gaze, your heart pounding in your ears as you whispered, “Since the first time you saw me?” Not trusting yourself enough to say what you were really thinking, so you mirrored his words.

Taehyung’s hand reached across the table, his fingers lightly brushing against yours. “I can’t keep my composure anymore,” he admitted, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’ve been thinking about more than this all week.”

He paused, his gaze locked onto yours with a smoldering intensity. “You know,” he added with a sultry smile, “seeing you getting along so well with my best friends earlier, it just… made me so hard.”

The anticipation hung in the air like a charged current, a palpable magnetism drawing you closer together. It was a sensation you couldn’t ignore, a magnetic pull that seemed destined to ignite into something more profound.

You bit your lip, your pupils were blown, unable to contain the emotions surging within you. “Taehyung,” you began, your voice barely above a whisper, “if you keep this up, I think I might fall in love with you.”

His eyes sparkled with a mix of desire and affection as he leaned in closer. “Is that so?” he murmured, his lips tantalizingly close to yours. “Maybe that’s exactly what I want.”

Moments later, Taehyung led you to his apartment.

“I’m glad that we can finally be together like this.” He said with a sincere smile, his hand moving lower to cup your ass. He couldn’t resist anymore; he had to have you right then and there.

He slid his hand under your skirt, feeling the smoothness of your skin against his fingertips. Traced the outline of your panties through the fabric of your bottom. Taehyung felt a wave of arousal wash over him as he painted himself a picture of what lay beneath. Slowly, he slid his hands up your legs until he reached the hem of your panties. With a gentle tug, he pulled them down, revealing your wetness to him.

The sudden exposure caused you to blush slightly, but it only fueled his desire further. You couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of what came next “*Aren’t you going to see how wet I got because you?”

He leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek, then gently placed his hand on your inner thigh. As he did so, he whispered in your ear. “Do you really want me to do this?”

“I want this, trust me.”

He slid his hand up higher, feeling the warmth and dampness of your cunt. He could hear your soft gasps and moans as he touched your pussy. He continued to stroke you gently, feeling your muscles tighten around his fingers.

He heard your moans and started to become even more aroused. He could feel his own hard on growing in his pants, and he knew that it would only be a matter of time before you both got carried away. He slowly pulled back from you and looked into your eyes, his face flushed red with desire. You could tell that he was just as affected as you were.

You nodded, your eyes locked with his as desire coursed through your veins. You breathed, “I want you to touch me. I need your hands in me.”

A low growl rumbled in Taehyung’s throat as he gave you a hungry look, his fingers inching closer to your dripping core. “Fuck,” he muttered, unable to contain his own need. “I’ve been dreaming about this for days. About burying myself deep inside you.”

The raw desire in his words sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that burned hotter with each passing second. You could feel the wetness pooling between your legs, desperate for his touch.

His fingers brushed against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, teasingly avoiding direct contact with where you needed him most. The anticipation was almost unbearable as you fought to maintain a hint of control.

“Please, Taehyung,” you whimpered, “don’t make me wait.”

A wolfish grin tugged at the corners of Taehyung’s lips as he finally gave in to both of your desires. His fingers dipped into your wet heat, eliciting a moan from deep within your throat.

“You’re so fucking wet for me,” he groaned, his voice rough with lust. “Did I make you this way? Did I make that pretty little pussy of yours ache for me?”

All coherent thought flew out the window as Taehyung pumped his fingers inside of you, hitting all the right spots that made pleasure surge through every nerve ending in your body. You could only manage to nod and let out a desperate moan in response.

He wrapped his other hand around your neck, pulling you closer to him. He could feel your pulse racing beneath his fingers, and he knew that you were enjoying this a lot.

He started to apply pressure to your neck, feeling your body respond to his touch. You let out a small gasp of air, and as he continued to choke you, he leaned in closer to your ear and whispered. “Do you like this, baby? Is this what you wanted?”

His thumb found its way to your clit, circling the swollen bud and sending jolts of electricity straight to where you needed it most. The pleasure was overwhelming, bordering on blissful torture, as he brought you closer and closer to the edge.

“Cum for me, baby,” Taehyung whispered, his hot breath fanning across your ear. “I want to feel you cum around my fingers.”

His words were all it took to push you over the edge. The coil of pleasure that had been building inside of you snapped, sending waves of ecstasy crashing through your body. You clung to him as you rode out your orgasm, his touch the only anchor keeping you grounded in a sea of sensations.

As the last tremors of pleasure receded, Taehyung pulled his hand away and brought it up to his lips, sucking your taste off his fingers with a look of pure satisfaction on his face.

After a few hours spent in tangled in touches, the clock ticked its way to 4 a.m., signaling the impending end of the night’s bliss. Despite the energy that was bubbling up between you, the evening hadn’t ventured beyond the boundaries of those lewd touches, leaving something else lingering in the air. As the minutes kept passing, a sense of reality nudged its way back into the forefront of your mind.

“You’re even sweeter than I imagined,” Taehyung’s voice, thick with desire, caressed the dimly lit room, echoing the sentiments of the night.

With a hazed smile playing on your lips, you gently disentangled yourself from Taehyung’s embrace, the need for rest tugging at your consciousness. “I have to go home, Taehyung,” you murmured softly, your words tinged with regret at the thought of parting, “I should get some actual sleep if we want to spend the whole day together again.”

Your fingers traced soothing circles along his shoulders, a silent reassurance of your affection. “You are coming with me tomorrow, right?” you queried, hope flickering in your eyes as you awaited his response.

In the hazy glow of his room, Taehyung’s gaze met yours, a promise dancing in his eyes. “Absolutely,” he affirmed, his voice laced with determination, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

With a final exchange of tender kisses and lingering glances, you reluctantly bid farewell to Taehyung’s warm embrace, bracing yourself for your way home.

Despite the lingering effects of last night’s alcohol roaming your body, a surge of adrenaline pulsed through your veins as you rolled out of bed, battling against the persistent fog of a very hungover you. With each groggy step towards the bathroom, the anticipation of the day ahead infused your weary limbs with energy, overriding the dull ache in your head.

As you splashed cool water on your face, the mirror reflected a mix of exhaustion and excitement in your eyes. Today was the day you’d introduce Taehyung to your best friends, a prospect that filled you with nerves. The thought of seeing their reactions, of sharing this part of your life with them, ignited a spark within you.

After downing a much-needed glass of water and popping a couple of painkillers to combat the lingering headache, you set about getting ready for the day. Despite the persistent throb at your temples, you couldn’t help but hum a tune under your breath, the thrill of today’s plan chasing away the last traces of drowsiness.

With each minute, the excitement grew, the clock ticking in slow motion as you counted down the moments until Taehyung went to pick you up. Finally, the sound of the doorbell shattered the quiet of the morning, heralding the arrival of your lover boy.

With a quick glance in the mirror to ensure you looked somewhat presentable despite feeling like shit, you hurried to answer the door, a smile of genuine delight spreading across your face at the sight of Taehyung standing on your doorstep, two large cups of coffee in hand and a grin that mirrored your own excitement.

“There we have my pretty and hungover girl,” he greeted you warmly, his eyes alight with anticipation, “are we all set for the big day?”

With a nod and a grin, you took the cup he handed you, the aroma wafting up to greet your senses. “Definitely”.

As you and Taehyung arrived at the stadium, the vibrant atmosphere of the bustling crowd greeted you with a wave of excitement. Sam, Gemma, and Jin were already waiting for you near the entrance, their infectious laughter echoing in the air as they exchanged playful banter.

“Hey, look who finally decided to show up!” Sam exclaimed, her grin widening as she caught sight of you and Taehyung approaching. “And who’s this handsome stranger you’ve brought along?”

lmk if you're up for reading the second part of this mess 🤭 bonus. just a little jungkookie for fun

[beanghostprincess]

Shuggy modern day AU where Buggy has a circus artist school/daycare for kids and Shanks constantly brings his godchild Luffy. That kid is so hyperactive that all the teachers don’t want to work with him anymore but anytime Buggy tries to refuse him coming back all Shanks does is flirt Buggy into submission.

Alvida constantly rips Buggy a new one at the evening wine session.

Meanwhile Luffy has the best time getting all bendy like snake man, hop on trampolines and swing on the trapeze.

Maybe Zoro is also there learning how to throw knifes.

This is,,, The cutest thing.

Buggy tries his best not to succumb, but have you seen Shanks? The guy is charming. And it's not like Buggy hates Luffy, either, he's just pretty fucking annoying and hard to deal with (but he has talent and he's a genuinely good kid). So Buggy always ends up letting the kid in. Alvida always laughs at Buggy for this but at the end of the day, she tells him not to get his hopes up because guys like this one only want to flirt to get their kids into school, and Buggy agrees! He hates Shanks! He doesn't even like him! His body is betraying him, okay? He's just hot. That's all. One day it's Luffy's father who comes to pick him up from there, though, and Alvida can see the disappointment in Buggy's eyes. She doesn't need to say anything to get on his nerves because he already can read the "I told you so" in her eyes.

One day, Luffy's the last one to stay waiting for somebody to pick him up from school, and Buggy has the responsibility of waiting there with him. And with Zoro. The kid refuses to go without Luffy. Besides, Zoro is also waiting for his dad to come pick him up. Anyway, long story short, Mihawk (Zoro's dad. Like in every Au. What a surprise) appears and ends up taking Luffy home too and Buggy is suddenly free of the burden. Seconds after this (before Buggy can finally go home) Shanks' car suddenly appears and he starts apologizing and asking where Luffy is. And something like this happens (don't expect narration besties I am still sick):

Shanks: So sorry I was late, I had uh, things to sort out. Where's anchor? Buggy: Huh, yeah, things to sort out. Mihawk took your kid home. Shanks: My home? The kid's home? His home? Buggy: Do I look like I asked? Shanks: You probably should, since you're the one in charge and all. Buggy: Hey! The kids are friends! And I'm not asking Mr.Hypnotizing-Gold-Cat-Eyes here for his direction, thank you very much. Call him yourself. Now, if we're done here- Shanks: Wait! Wait. I was picking up my daughter from her music lessons. Uta. Buggy: Did I ask? I have had enough with one of your bastards already, I don't want to know- Shanks: I just don't want you to think I forgot about Luffy I- I am not the perfect role model but I care about him. I was in my way. Buggy: Yeah, no, I know. Kid talks about you all the time, Mr.Best-Guitarist-In-The-World. Now, seriously, I need to go home. Shanks: It's still early, though. Buggy: And running this place and still doing shows isn't exactly a thing that takes up little time, so- Shanks: But you can skip one training session. Today only. Right? We could hang out Buggy: Hang out? What are you? Twelve? Do you want to go on a silly movie date later and hold hands during the scary parts? Shanks: ... I wouldn't be opposed to that. Buggy: You're unbelievable. Shanks: But if we do watch a horror movie I don't want one about clowns, they're not scary and I rather like them. Buggy: Don't push it, I can show you how scary a clown can be. Shanks: Playing hard to get? Buggy: I can't fucking stand you! I could literally go full murder clown on you and you'd get horny by it Shanks: I told you I like clowns-

[khaibdl]

Hiii

Can i request a james hetfield smut where the reader and james have a kind of a "forbidden relationship" but the story has a good ending and lots of fluff ???

*P.s. Love your ficssss

•𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄•

Genre: Smut & Fluff

Warnings: Smut (language, unprotected sex, oral x male receiving, age gap).

Word count: 995

•

It is not okey.

I’ve been working for Metallica for the last couple of months as their “Tour Stylist”.

I have to make sure the guys have their clothes ready, its the right size and gets to the dry cleaner.

I love my job but i’ve also been loving something else or better yet… someone else.

James Hetfield.

We immediately had a connection when i first met him. He just got divorced and i broke up with my boyfriend who i was with for two years.

Im 34 and James is 60… i know its a big age gap but when its genuine, it doesn’t matter right?

Right?

Only his bandmates know and some of the other crew members but his kids and the public don’t know yet. And we want to keep it that way. Even though he’s finding it extremely difficult to keep this secret from his kids. But he’s scared.

Scared that they won’t accept it because of our age gap. And are they even ready yet to see their dad with someone else?

•••

“Of course, sweetheart. Everything for you.” I feel his big hand resting on my naked thigh as i am wearing a dress.

“Can you stay at mine’s for a while or are your kids home?” I don’t want our night to end yet since im really having a fun date night.

“I told them that i was in the studio so they can miss me for a while.” He turns his head, smirking at me and i know exactly what he’s thinking…

“Well, then i’ll have to keep you good company, right?” I move my hand to his lap, teasing him over his jeans.

I repeatedly kiss his cheek and neck as he has to focus on the road in front of him. My hands are unbuckling his leather belt and he has both of his hands at the steering wheel now.

“Sweetheart, don’t tease me.” He mutters softly.

I unbuckle my seatbelt, i set myself on my knees on the seat, facing James now. I bend my head down towards his lap and grab his cock out of his jeans.

My hands go up and down his cock as i spit on it, making sure its all wet and ready for me.

I hear James groan from above me when i finally put his cock in my mouth. I keep bobbing my head and use my hands, hoping to get him to release quickly.

I keep going like that for a few minutes until i finally feel his cum shoot right in my mouth. I make sure that i sucked every drop before lifting my head up again to look right in his blue eyes.

I now notice that we arrived at my front porch.

“Let’s go inside, sweetheart.” James buckles his belt again before opening his car door. “I’m gonna make you feel good now.”

•••

James his hips keeps slapping against mine from on top of me. He is so deep inside of me right now, I can’t even speak anymore. I can only keep moaning.

“You’re doing so good for me.” One of his hands grabbing one of my tits and his other, stroking my hair.

My nails are scratching his back from all the pleasure that he’s giving me. He keeps pounding at a hard pace, making me shut my eyes.

“Jamie! I can’t anymore!” I moan loudly as he is giving me my third orgasm of the night. For a man his age, he still is extremely good in bed, it’s insane.

“Open your eyes. Look at me.” James keeps repeating to me, making me eventually open my eyes. One arm of mine finding the back of his neck to bring his face to mine so i can kiss his lips passionately.

We’re nearing our orgasm, again, as we keep on kissing and moaning into each other’s mouths.

My bed is literally pounding against my wall. I won’t be surprised if there’s a hole in it by now.

“Jamie, i’m fucking cuming!” I scream while my legs start to shake, softly, around his hips. “Oh, i love you!”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

James groans as he cums. Thank God that i’m on the pill. Otherwise i would probably be pregnant with triplets by now. Joking.

•••

“James, please tell me you’re kidding.” I say on the phone.

James left last night before his kids would ask why he’s not home yet. But he woke me up with a phone call this morning. I thought it was would be happy, hearing his voice, but right now? I just want to disappear.

“It’s okey. I’m gonna talk to my kids now and afterwards, i will be at yours.” He hears me getting emotional. “Please don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon.”

Apparently, the paparazzi was following us last night and took pictures of us in the restaurant AND in the car… I’ve never been so embarrassed in my whole life.

Especially because his kids found out about our relationship this way. What will they think of me right now? I probably won’t wanna know.

After a few hours, James enters my home with my spare key. He sees my sitting on my couch, underneath a big, fluffy blanket. He sits down next to me and hugs me tightly.

“What did they say?” My question muffled by his leather jackets as were hugging.

“I explained everything and they understand. Obviously they didn’t want to find out the way they did but it’s okey.” He grabs my face and kisses my lips softly. “They want to meet you.”

“Seriously?” I ask him hopeful.

“Yes, sweetheart. It’s gonna be okay. Just trust me.” He makes sure i heard him before bringing me into his chest again.

This is literally the best man i could ever ask for.

•••

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞! 𝐈𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐭. 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐢𝐭!

𝐁𝐭𝐰, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐢 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭.

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐊𝐡𝐚𝐢🖤

[shotmrmiller]

Bro im sorry i just reblog and like over and over out of the blue like i genuinely feel like I over spam on the reblog and likes but your stuff is so good bro like when i take a break from reading on tumblr i come back to the juiciest stuff and have to control myself to not just spam but I love all the stuff you write like it makes me want the 141 so bad bro 💀💀 the way you write ghost and johnny tho FUCK MAN, I literally can’t do this anymore like I genuinely crave them so much. I don’t care how they act or the way they do shit I’m folding immediately but I don’t think I’d pull at all. I don’t have rizz at all and I’m so ugly bro 😭😭 anyways I love all the shit you post and I thank you so much for the most diabolically scrumptious stuff like I’ll give you a gazillion dollars if I could. I love you bro take care man ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️👹👹👹👹👹

hey shut your mouth don't talk about no rizz and def don't be talking about looks when simon looks like he was out of the food disposal (johnny is too pretty for a lot of us so naturally his cornbread aint done in the middle. BALANCE.)

they always pull you in whether you like it or not tbh atp it's not about if you can get their number but if you can keep them from putting their number in your bag/sweater/pant pocket/phone (johnny was a klepto in his youth so his pickpocketing skills are crazy and simon forcefully stuffs a crumpled piece of paper down your shirt/bra then dares you to take it out with his corpse like stare)

please spam reblog i really don't mind it lol and i love you too ❤️❤️❤️

[whyreyousoobsessedwithme]

Lookism 479, 480 and 481 edited

Struggled to type this because I'm sore from my physio therapist appointment

479

- OK, so we know Jerry also knew Jinyoung and that his father was murderd. We also know there's this mysterious reporter Kim who might have some clues.

- What is the Era of peace?

- Jerry's father had an abnormal body.

- Why does no one know anything about Daniel's connection with Jinyoung? I'm so done. I don’t even care about that anymore.

- Now that lineman's training, I would like to see him go against some of the worker guys that beat him.

- Dj being shady ass hell as usual 🙄. I don't think Daniel should trust him, he's being too trusting. James knows so much but refuses to tell him anything. He's using Daniel to get to jinyoung so he can learn the secret behind the 2 bodies. I know deep down Daniel doesn't trust him that much, but he needs to stop giving James even the tiniest bit of info.

- I feel like Lightning Choi is in danger now that James knows about him.

- oh my God, he really is living by the junkyard💀

- these guys just keep getting stronger, why is his back so huge, it looks like an extra layer of skin😮‍💨

- tf do they mean by " the time has come for us to try to kill each other". As if they weren't giving each other permanent damage. Honestly, gun and Goo's relationship reminds me of 2 siblings, goo being the younger one who is not used to being independent until one day he decides to leave the nest. This whole meeting felt like a family low-key falling apart, goo leaving the family but deciding to visit his brother one last time before leaving. Which makes me think about the whole theory of someone dying and it showing guns' true personality. I originally thought that it was hinting towards Olly and how gun surprisingly has respect for the dead. But now I think it's goo who's going to die. These panels are honestly so well done. The bittersweet smiles and how human they look in here. You can tell they don't want to kill each other.

480

- I feel gun will eventually betray Charles because he took it too far or hold back while fighting goo. That or there'll be a change of plans like in the workers' fight with dg.

- I think gun was genuinely happy to find someone on his level. Maybe he was used to people always agreeing with everything he did or said, so befriending someone like goo was a breath of fresh air.

- Watching this interaction also reminds me of Crystal. It honestly looked like she had a good relationship with James,Gun, and Goo. Calling them hyung and conversing normally. She seemed like the little sister of the family, and Charles is like the power-hungry dad tearing it apart. I almost felt bad watching the junkyard breakup, but then I remembered they're both awful people. The one I truly feel bad for is Crystal. She didn't ask for this, she didn't join Charles because she had a choice.

- The whole thing with Eli deciding Hudson will stay, and the whole " ... so I'll let you borrow one room" thing is pissing me off. Why is he the one making all the decisions, Sally did a lot for Hostle, but somehow, she's just being pushed aside. Ptj wtf. Throughout the entire Hostle arc, it was just Eli getting the credit for half the shit Sally did it was literally her idea to give the runways a home. And the point system shit was not only an Ok idea, but it wasn't even his original it was just something he saw while living on the streets. The fact it's all "Eli this" and " Eli that" is so fucking annoying. Ptj literally showed Sally putting in the work and pushed all the credit toward Eli. Like if you want it to be about him actually make it about him

- Gyeol doesn't deserve his brother.

- Every one of these guys have insane methods, like how do you expect him to talk when you shove his glasses down his throat.

- THE UGLY FACE EXPRESSIONS ARE HERE WHICH MEANS SHIT WILL FINALLY GO DOWN.

- I used to think Charles's weakness was his daughter but now I don't think he gives a fuck about her.

- How did dg record the evidence though?

481

- hey I have that flash drive too

- I think dg was testing the waters with the whole flash drive situation to see Eugene's reaction to him knowing jinyoung.

- Mandeok is like Regina George, his hair is full of secrets literally

- Now they're calling it anxiety attacks instead🫥, ptj please research mental health

- is it me or James feels guilty for killing Gapryong and jinyoung going insane? This makes me think that after that incident James started hating Charles.

- that's some tacky ass writing he has there on his car

- that's the worst marketing strategy I've ever seen

- how did jibeom get so big😃

- Someone said the new guy looks like the lovechild of dg and Eli and now I can't unsee it

- To think Vin killed a king

- I was right about the cult theory

- This is why education is important, people think anything is evil, acting like they're not the devil themselves.

[monstersinthecosmos]

so idk if you've talked about this before but i was thinking about how some of your sheith fics take place in the same sort of headcanon universe where keith and shiro first got together when shiro was actually kuron and ttsr! majorly diverges from that! i love the flavor of both possibilities LOL but i'm just wondering in what ways this timeline difference changes how you view/choose to portray their relationship in each scenario! and i don't think we'll get that far in ttsr! (I'M SCARED TBF) but just in your mind palace i also wonder how you think it plays out when shiro comes back as a clone! does kuron even know they're a thing? does keith notice any differences in how he acts? IS HE FREAKIER AND MEANER IN BED LOL? sorry i feel like i send you so many asks abouy ttsr! BUT I GENUINELY THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY LMAO. literally it's the sacred texts!!!!

Fgkjfdlg OMG I haven’t actually talked about this at length before because a lot of people don’t notice or don’t comment on it and I don't think anyone has ever asked! 😊

(This is going to contain some mild spoilers for my fics but THE CLUES ARE ALL THERE if you’ve read them before! Proceed with caution!)

SO YEAH LIKE. Not ALL of my Sheith fics fit these two timelines but I have a few versions of how Sheith hooked up that all live in harmony in my mind so sometimes I draw on these and it’s fun to play with them by adding more at different points in time or from different points of view.

One of them is STAR EATER timeline which started with Star Eater and includes Zero Hour and another fic called The Alternative that I wrote for a zine but I haven’t posted it on AO3 because tbh the zine process upset me so much that I don’t want to look at it anymore to make it AO3 ready lol.

The other is TONIGHT THE STARS REVOLT timeline which includes TTSR -> Minuit -> and the Femsheith fic as we circle the moon which is FEMSHEITH TTSR. (This is the order they were posted in, but chronologically it would be TTSR -> as we circle the moon -> Minuit).

And like, when I first started writing Sheith fic, I’d just spent like 2 years writing VC fic full time, and for the most part I try to keep all my VC fics in the same timeline. Mostly just for fun! It’s become like a creative challenge to me to like keep continuity between fics or hide Easter eggs. So I had written Star Eater as my first Sheith fic and then when I wrote Zero Hour I just thought it would be fun to keep it in the same timeline the way I do with VC. But idk I feel a lot freer writing Sheith than I do VC so it was also inspiring to branch out and not stick to the same formula every time.

Something about Sheith too is there’s SUCH a wealth of fic in the fandom and we’ve read so many hundreds of versions of them as a couple and how they got together and everything and like, you gotta understand that I have like 100 fic ideas on deck at all times and I know I don’t have time to write all of them, so I tend to like weed out ideas to prioritize and budget time for if I think I can say something interesting and maybe subvert some of the common fandom tropes. So yes sure, Sheith are soulmates, yada yada, but WHAT IF THEY WERE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS AND IT WAS AWKWARD ! Or WHAT IF SHIRO NEVER MADE A MOVE UNTIL IT WAS KURON DRIVING BECAUSE KURON WAS LESS INHIBITIED? Listen I’m a slut for angst, too, so like. I’m not really good at writing fluff and it’s not my first choice as a reader, either, so I wanna ask, like sure yada yada soulmates but what if it hurt, or what if it was messy? How can we make this dark and fucked up? Lol

So these two premises are like, places I’ve put a lot of thought, and I think a lot about how that affects their relationship long term and what it says about them. And I think they offer a different flavor, so when I have an idea or I’m in a certain mood, sometimes I think “this would be really nice in whichever timeline.” And a few of my fics they hook up after the war, too! So it really depends like what flavor I’m going for that day and how badly I want to traumatize Keith LOL

But for example, like, TTSR was born in my brain as like misc smut prompts but I thought “It would be subversive if they were FWB" because at the time I never saw canonverse fics where they were FWB, I’d only seen it in AUs. And then when I wrote Minuit it was for the prompt party and my prompt was about Keith nursing Shiro to health after he gets his body back, and I WANTED it to be crampy and uncomfortable and awkward, and I WANTED Shiro to feel guilty and self conscious, and so I thought setting it in TTSR timeline would add to it because it adds that element of like, IS THIS TOO INTIMATE? IS IT TOO SERIOUS? It also includes some flashbacks to when Kuron first shows up, and how he and Keith navigated being around each other, but his memory is sort of fuzzy and he’s disoriented.

I REALLY love thinking about the sort of like, dubcon aspects of Keith fucking Kuron, too, because neither of them are truuuuuuuly consenting. Keithisn't fucking the person he thinks he's fucking, and later on Shiro is bound to be kinda violated knowing that his identity was stolen for it. And would Kuron want to fuck Keith if the Galra wasn't telling him to? I also like the idea that Kuron is not a perfect copy, and maybe he’s bolder, maybe he’s more aggressive, etc. So maybe he did make moves that Shiro didn’t, and Shiro comes back and can’t believe what went on while he was gone. In Star Eater universe it’s sex and in TTSR universe it’s the ilu confession. It's quite violating to everyone involved!

And in both universes I’ve tried to float the idea that Keith could tell something was wrong, or different, but he just assumed it was The Trauma ™. Like Shiro comes back a little bit off, he’s getting migraines, and Keith GETS IT. Keith has also (canonically) made Shiro’s safety his own responsibility, so I wonder if he feels so guilty that he fucked up that he’s not going to push on it. In Zero Hour this takes the shape of Keith not wanting to talk about Kuron at all to real Shiro because he feels so fucking embarrassed that he didn’t notice, and in as we circle the moon (s)he’s struggling the entire time trying to figure out if Shiro needs space to get better or if this is going to be the new normal and how tough the love should be.

One of the reasons re: Kuron why I decided I wanted a clean slate after Zero Hour too is that I kind of regretted the way I interpreted the Kuron lore when I wrote Zero Hour; canon is a little bit unclear about how it works and whether or not Kuron is “dead” or gone from the body. I decided afterwards that I liked the idea of them having to share the space and sort of integrating with each other, which is why I wrote it differently in Minuit. In Star Eater timeline, Kuron’s entire personality is basically AI programmed on what the Galra could map of Shiro’s brain, and WITHOUT GETTING INTO JUNK SCIENCE EXCUSES FOR THE WHY, I just thought maybe it might leave sort of “impressions” in the body, which is why Shiro can sense residual, disjointed memories. I imagined these things like imprints or phantom sensation in his brain, perhaps in the vein of epigenetic trauma.

But in TTSR/Minuit timeline, Shiro is in there WITH HIM and it’s a matter of trying to cooperate who’s in the driver’s seat. I haven’t written this further but I imagine that Real Shiro will one day simply become New Shiro which is him and Kuron sort of integrated as one person; this is why I wrote the scene about him dreaming about a cherished childhood memory except that he’s inserted a twin into it. He will learn to share and accept that Kuron has all his same memories and his own soul, whatever that means.

AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS LOL SORRY FOR MEANDERING but I do imagine Kuron being freakier and meaner LOL. Is this grounded in canon or am I making excuses to be kinky? Reader’s choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can justify it by, again, asking if the Galra made an imperfect copy. Because like he IS different! The show communicates this to us by the subtle changes to his character design. And I think about like, the Galra designing him and programming him for a purpose, which is GET CLOSE TO THE RED PALADIN, and I wonder how that might push him in areas where Shiro would’ve been more reserved.

And like what might the Galra get wrong about human psychology and American culture? WHAT ARE GALRA MATING RITUALS? As the BIG BADDIES of canon they come off as being aggressors—even Lotor, who believed he was acting for a greater good, was committing atrocities LOL—so how does that change when they try to build a human personality and human intention? WHAT IF IT’S LIKE JURASSIC PARK WHERE THEY PATCH DNA GAPS WITH GALRA SO KURON IS LIKE AN ALPHA OR SOMETHING HAHA. But no really like what if he’s more virile, what if he’s more confident, what if everything he does is based on some soul-crushing subconscious instinct to BE CLOSE TO KEITH at any cost!!!

These ideas take many forms in my mind, which is why I need multiple versions with multiple answers LOL.

But TTSR Kuron knows they’re a thing, because I think the Galra were sort of downloading/studying Shiro’s consciousness through his arm the entire time he was alive, right? So up until the very end he’d have Shiro’s memories. He will know they hooked up, and he will know how Shiro felt about it. In as we circle the moon (s)he breaks the ILU to Keith in the pilot’s log because she thinks she’s dying and her entire soul is crushed that she never saw her relationship with Keith through, not just for the half of her that shares Shiro’s feelings but also the other half that exists solely to get to Keith.

Star Eater Kuron knows that Shiro has been pining for a while and is the one who is brave enough to make a move!

ANYWAY THIS WAS QUITE LONG AND RAMBLING but I hope I answered your questions LOL.

I think TTSR exists as a trilogy in my mind, and I hope that the huge gaps between updates don’t leave anyone DYING because I’m going to follow canon so there's not a huge mystery where it will go. You can also get an idea of where they’re going by stitching clues together from the other fics. I have no idea if or when I’ll find time to WRITE A WHOLE TRILOGY (please just let me finish TTSR first LMFAO) but I always imagined TTSR ending around when Shiro dies, the middle fic being about Kuron, and the third as the post-S7 story that I have to make up myself because I don’t accept S8 LOL.

MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL but that’s basically the questions I ask about these guys and how it informs where fics go and if I’m in one mood or another or think one timeline or the other will serve a story I want to tell, I’ll set it there!

and OMG don't apologize for sending Sheith asks, I think all this stuff is like bursting at the seams of my brain and I'm always happy to yell about it!!!

[ja3gerb0mbb]

bloodsucker chapter 4: invasion

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

word count: 3.3k

content warnings: brief description of a break-in

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“night, eren!” sasha mocked me as soon as i walked into the dorm. she followed it up with kissing noises. “would you shut up!” i groaned in embarrassment; shaking my head to get rid of the remaining sleep.

she giggled, continuing the torment, “so.. were you making out with eren all that time,” she wiggled her eyebrows. “i heard he’s good.” the smile on her face turned into a wide smirk. 

“who knows,” i shrugged, heading to my room. i knew my lack of response would make her go crazy. “y/n!? are you really not gonna tell me,” she followed right at my footsteps. entering my room, i put the bear down on my bed, “come on you have to tell me,” she continued with an iron hard resolve. she spun me around with my arms, gripping each of them tightly, “pleasee!” she dragged out the ‘e’ at an obnoxious volume. 

i clasped my hand around her mouth “shh! stop it!” i laughed at her. “i’m just fucking with you. all we did was go on the ferris wheel.” she stood straight on her feet again; disappointment covered her features. “that’s really it?” she pried one last time. “hate to break it to you.”

“so boring.” she rolled her eyes with force. sasha picked up the bear, laying down on the bed with it. she did a double take, examining the bear. “wait, did he give this to you?” she squealed. 

“no, he stole it,” a smile broke through at the memory, “plus it’s an apology bear. why are you so certain something’s going on anyway?” i teased, but i was genuinely curious. maybe her answer would give me more background on him?

“it’s hope, more than anything. you saw how he was today- he was never like that before. maybe if he was into you it would bring him back? i don’t know it’s wishful thinking.” her face was gloomy; like she might start crying if she thought about it anymore. 

“sleepover in my room?” i ask the question like we aren’t separated with just a wall. “duh!” her mood instantly lightens; shooting an exiting the room. in the quiet, my mind runs over the day. i realize that i’m still weaning eren’s jacket. i pull the soft leather closer around me, tucking my face into the neckline. it doesn’t smell like anything. that’s weird, i saw him wearing it all day, but the only scent is faded detergent. 

my mind doesn’t fully process it before sasha runs back in. three pillows and all the blankets she can hold in tow. she runs over to the bed, throwing them on before getting underneath my sheets. “come on, i’m tired!” she whines, opening her arms to invite me in. her body heat keeps me warm and comfortable, allowing me to doze off. in the distance, i hear a jangling but my mind is too far gone to investigate. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

jean walked close by my side on our way to get coffee, coming back from philosophy. “y/n,” he started, “i really don’t understand anything in chem,” his voice dragged, waiting for me to extend an offer. “oh no that’s awful,” i feigned compassion, “what will horseface do?” he was constantly nagging me about doing this and that assignment or asking for a tutor. i enabled him by giving in, so i didn’t have room to complain. 

“tch,” he pushed my body further from his, “you could help ya’know,” still pleading. 

“yeah i know.. but i wrote that behemoth essay for you literally last week. i’m all burnt out.” he shot me a dirty look; knowing he shouldn’t be asking for anything right now. “whatever i��ll just ask sasha,” his face lit up like he just had the best idea.

i laughed at his ignorance, “dude, sasha is doing worse in chem than me.” looking over at his face, he looked crushed. “we don’t even have the same professors, can’t you just ask someone in your class,” i probed. 

he gave a hefty sigh, “they’re all sick of me asking.”

“huh, who would’ve thought!” it was my turn to push him, sticking my hand out in an attempt which failed. “i hate general requirements,” he groaned, throwing his head back. 

we walked into the coffee shop on campus. the air was weighed down by the thick scent of coffee beans but it was familiar. but today, the atmosphere felt different. my heart rate picked up; hairs sticking up on my neck like eyes were on my again. i looked around, but no one was looking at me. not even jean. shaking it off, i checked my phone as we stood in the pickup line.

eren >:(

are you free for the project today?

you:

lol i forgot

but yeah i’m free rn. meet me at the roast?

eren >:(liked a message

“no-go on those plans tonight, jean. sorry.” i said, shoving my phone back in my pocket. “no it’s cool. you found someone with a bigger dick, finally?” he shot me a nasty smirk. i rose to my tiptoes to whisper in his ear, “just eren.” he rolled his eyes as a response. he reached out for yet another shove, but i raised my hands in surrender, “hey don’t shoot the messanger! we have a project due.”

“yeah whatever,” focusing his attention on the baristas in from of us. “jealous jean-boy? i knew you were in love with me,” i laughed a little too loudly, gaining the attention of a few around us. i shot my head down as a response to the attention. 

“so in love,” he smirked in my face but turned at his name being called. his coffee sat on the pick-up counter. grabbing it, he bid me goodbye. i went back to the cashier to place an order for eren. vanilla latte, i think?

i didn’t wait long before he walked in. he must’ve been close by already. i almost choked on the sip i took; his hair was down again. his face was the fullest i had seen it; his eye bags a light pink, almost gone entirely. he didn’t look as harsh as usual. he looked.. good. 

eren noticed me immediately, eyes flickering up and down. “nice jacket,” he laughed through his nose. my brows furrowed as i looked down. shit. it was his jacket. if i remembered i was wearing it today, i would’ve shoved it in my bag. i played nonchalant, “yeah, just found it laying around,” i returned his smirk. his name was called and he looked at me with confusion. i smiled and turned on my heel, walking to the open table in the corner. 

as i sat down, i saw him walking over, coffee in hand. “i hope you brought the book, because i didn’t” he admitted, “just got out of a different class.” yikes, i gave a nervous laugh, “so did i..i was hoping you had it.” just to be sure i trifled through my bag, but no sign of the textbook.

“fuck..” i met his eyes. there wasn’t a sparkle yet, but they looked less cold. maybe it was the absence of the deep bags? just an illusion? i couldn’t be sure. “we can just go back to my dorm,” i trailed, “i actually have furniture this time, promise,” i chucked at myself; happy to no longer have a study-beer table. “yeah, whatever works,” as if it really didn’t matter to him. 

leaving the roast, we changed directions to the dorms. the air was still cold, but the clouds from yesterday were mostly gone, sunlight peeking through the clouds. eren walked to my right, but a pace behind so he stood closer to my back. “what’s your major anyway?” he probed me for a change. “mm journalism.”

he gave a badgering laugh, but didn’t say anything. i whipped around, fully face him, “what’s so funny?” he met my gaze, but shook his head in disregard. “what’s you major then?”

“literature,” he started ahead at the path in front of us. “huh, well isn’t that pointless,” i poked the bear, turning back to continue the walk. we were pretty close to the dorms now. i was lucky to live so close to a coffee shop.

“no it’s not i’m goi-” he cut himself off. he looked in the distance, eyes going cold like they usually did. “what?” i look to him. 

“nothing.” i look in his eyeline’s direction but nothing peculiar was there. as if he could sense he was freaking me out, “i just got a weird feeling.” his eyes bore into mine, oncing me over before walking again. he was deliberate in walking in front of me, but i kept pace close behind him. his face was serious, and within an instant it seemed to become sharp and hollow again. 

as we approached the hallway to my dorm entrance, my door was swung wide open. the fuck? sasha must’ve just forgotten to close it. maybe even hitch. eren continued walking towards the door. the overhead lights were off, and the room was dim and hard to make out despite it being daylight still. 

eren forced his hand in front of my torso, stopping me from walking. both of us had remained dead silent, gears turning in different ways. i moved his hand, attempting to walk into my dorm with him. “i’m sure it’s fine, i have two roomates you know,” i attempted to persuade him, and myself. 

“stay out here,” he barely spared me a glance. i rolled my eyes at his vigilant nature, but my gut told me to listen to him. something felt wrong. i could feel it in my bones. eren walked further in, not bothering to turn on any lights. from my view, i could see my room door was open. the window barely lit it up, but i could tell it was trashed. clothes strewn about, my mattress ripped off of the frame. 

i instinctively took half a step closer; trying to get a better look. it looked like someone must’ve broken in. eren noticed my movement, “i told you not to move!” he raised his voice before storming back out of the dorm, grabbing my hand before dragging me back down the hallway. “eren! sasha might be in there! hitch too,” my mind became frantic at his reaction. his own state made me anxious; i began sucking in quick and shallow breaths. 

i stomped my feet into the ground, trying to get him to stop his pace. “sasha and hitch!” i repeated, my voice high out of fear. it was taxing pushing out words with my distressed breathing. “they’re not in there. no one is,” eren’s voice was even again and he gave my hand another yank. “how can you be sure?”

“because i am, move,” he demanded harshly. i glanced back at the dorm, what if something happens to th-, “y/n!” eren pulled me out of my thoughts. “will you fucking trust me? NO ONE is in there,” with another pull, i let my body move again. i couldn’t be sure, but if sasha was in there, eren wouldn’t just leave her. his pace picked up, and my feet moved on their own. as he led me to the parking lot closer to classrooms, he never let go of my hand. not until he opened his car door, motioning for me to get in. i sat in his car, shocked. someone really broke in?

“text your roomates. see that they’re fine for yourself,” he snapped me back to reality once again. my hands shook as i pulled out my phone, immediately calling sasha. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

clouds were quick to cover the sky. rain pittered on eren’s windows. his apartment was in inner sina, a part of town i haven’t really explored. it was hard to makeout the view with the water; but the buildings were tall and lit up with the beginnings of moonlight. on a clear day, i wouldn’t doubt that he has the best view in the entire city. 

my nerves were settled now. or, at least, a lot more than they were getting in eren’s car. knowing my roommates were safe put my mind at ease. sasha was with connie; positive she locked the door on her way out this morning. she let me know she’d be safe with him for the night. a text from hitch told me that she hadn’t even been in the dorm for three days, but i doubt she’d be coming back after this fiasco. 

staring at the blurry view before me, i thought about what could’ve really happened. the dorms were safe; you needed a keycard to get in pretty much everywhere, and they were only given out to students living on-campus. so it had to be another student, right? but break-ins were rare; students don’t steal from other students like that. every bit of logic spun my head further around. if there was no rational reason for someone to break in, then why did they?

movement in my peripheral forces me to turn my head. eren laid another blanket next to me. he sat in the alcove next to me, body facing opposite the windows. “thanks. are you sure you don’t want it?” i tipped my head to his body. he was wearing a long sleeve shirt, but it didn’t look warm. 

“no i don’t really get cold.”

“must be nice,” i laughed, taking the blanket and adding another layer around my body. my nerves must’ve made me extra cold. my phone pings, i turn my attention to it and grab it. 

horseface:

y/n

holy shit

are you okay?

sorry i didn’t even see your messages 

i was in the art studio

you:

it’s ok haha don’t worry i’m fine.

horseface:

where are you? are you safe?

you:

yeah i’m just at eren’s apartment. 

he didn’t want me staying on campus

horseface:

okay.

let me know if you need me to pick you up.

don't hesitate. 

you:

okay i won’t. love you jean-boy

horseface disliked a message

i laughed at jean’s reaction. my stomach unknotted, and i felt lighter knowing that everyone i was worried about had been contacted. i couldn’t do much about the situation, but i’d at least accomplished what i could. “was that sasha?” eren drew my attention to him. he  sat further on the alcove now, his legs half on, facing toward me. 

“no it was jean,” a smile still on my face, remembering his initial spam of concerned messages. so tough, huh? eren’s face stayed still, like he didn’t register the name. “are you dating?” he asked. my face must have shown confusion; eren mimicked it. we started at each other for a few moments, “i thought you weren’t going to dig in my past. i’m holding up my end,” i said it with cocky confidence, knowing it would bother him. 

he frowned, shooting me a death glare, “it’s not the past, it’s a present question.” i laughed at him, “no.” it was a definite answer, “why, do you wanna date him?” i teased, leaning in to keep eye contact with him. eren rolled his eyes with his neck, getting up from his spot next to me. 

he didn’t walk far before turning around, “come on, i’ll put on a movie. anything you want.” his hands were in his pockets, but i could see his fingers twitching. “anything?” i asked with a growing smirk; already having my pick ready. 

he looked confused at my happiness, “yeah, anything i don’t care.” 

“okay, perfect! twilight,” i smiled ear to ear before getting up myself, walking over to the couch carrying all of my blankets and plopping myself down. “no, not twilight.” he was definitive; there probably wasn’t anything that would make him put it on. probably.

“you have something against edward cullen? you said anything, that is anything,” he stood his ground; not budging an inch. “eren,” my tone was flat, “my dorm just got broken into.” bringing the blanket up to my face, i hid the smile that wouldn’t go away, already knowing i won. 

he turned his head up to the ceiling; groaning. “fine,” he spat at me; seeming genuinely unnerved in my choice. he grabbed the remote on the counter before stomping over the couch, and dramatically sitting down with a huff. he sat on the other arm of the couch, the distance of a few cushions between us; i frowned. despite his hissy fit, he began playing twilight. 

‘i'd never given much thought to how i would die,’ came through the speakers as i brought the blankets even closer to my body. the outside atmosphere set the perfect mood to watch twilight in, and just a few minutes in, i had forgotten why i was at eren’s apartment to begin with. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

my consciousness smelled maple bacon before i opened my eyes. as they fluttered open, i immediately felt the twinge in my neck. “ah-” i closed my eyes with force, moving my head in circles while trying to massage out the ache. it didn’t fix it, but it wasn’t throbbing with pain anymore. 

“finally,” came from an already annoyed eren. guess his good mood from yesterday has worn off. he lifted my phone, holding it in the air to show me, “sasha’s been blowing up your damn phone.” immediately i got up from the warm blankets on the couch, running to grab my phone. was she okay?!

eren was right, there was a long slur of messages, but the first one i saw said ‘call me,’ so i did. after two rings she picked up, “finally. i was beginning to think eren ate you for breakfast,” laughing, i looked up at eren to see a scowl on his face. “i’m sorry, i just woke up! what was so important you sent me fifty thousand messages?” i poked fun at her desperation. 

“you know, nothing crazy,” she giggled through the speaker, “just jean’s lakehouse for the week,” she squealed. “really!?” at the mention of the house, i was ecstatic. we had only ever gone as a group once; his parents were adamant about keeping it pristine. “hell yeah!” i moved the phone away from my ear with her loud yells. 

she started murmuring again, “we’re gonna leave tonight probably. we’ll just stay there until they fix our dorm. or give us a new one, i really don’t know what the fuck,” she sighed. i had almost forgotten. mentally, i slapped myself. how could i forget that? “but i’ll keep you updated, love you byee!” she ended the call abruptly for how desperately she was trying to reach me this morning. i chuckled at the blank screen. 

“you know about the lakehouse?” i ask eren who’s building me a large plate of bacon and scrambled eggs. “yeah, sasha wanted to tell you herself though. seemed very siked,” he deadpanned the last part. he pushed me the plate, and i immediately took a slice of bacon. i looked toward the empty spot on the couch. eren must’ve known what i was thinking, “you fell asleep thirty minutes in. i planned on offering you a bed, but i didn’t want to wake the beast.”

“oh, how sweet of you,” i faked a smile. “so you watched the movie without me?” the thought of eren intently watching twilight made me giggle. “no, i turned it off as soon as your eyes closed,” he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “chick flicks,” he muttered. 

he leaned against the marble counter as i ate; looking through the windows. “you’re not gonna eat?” i felt like a pig scarfing down food when he had nothing in front of him. “i’m vegan,” he pointed to my plate, “and i already ate pancakes hours ago. you sleep in, apparently.”

i opened my mouth to chide him, but he interrupted me, “shh, hurry up and eat, we should be leaving soon. the drive to marley’s longer from this part of town.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

spotify playlist

[intheholler]

I’m so sorry I’m so late

Tw for church and sa and some god hate

My parents are divorced and that’s important for this. One day, on summer holidays, (I think I was twelve, maybe thirteen, I don’t know, my brain is wants me to forgot) I was spending holiday’s at my father house. I borrowed my mum’s phone for the holiday because she didn’t use it anymore and had cool games there.

But one day somone called the phone. And I picked up. It was old man, like my parents, maybe a bit older. He said that he’s friend with my parents and if I’m the little Ellie that he used to carry. I’m saying that I’m sorry that I don’t know him. My father overheard and took the phone and started talking with him. Yes, he was really my parents friend and I was the little Ellie he used to carry when I was a newborn.

And yes, he thought he was gonna call my mother because for some twisted reason he remembered that she existed. Long story short, at the end of the summer my mum and him were dating.

He had two daughters, first a year older and the second seven years younger than me.

And that’s when things went downhill. We stared living with them in the blink of an eye in my brain but I’m pretty sure that it took some time.

He was a religious man. We knew about that. But we didn’t know how he used to beat and manipulate his ex wifes ‘in the name of god’

Soon I was brought to church because as he said, I was uncontrollable and a brat. And he already manipulated my mum so it was very easy for him to do so. He genuinely believed that if he asks a god for forgiveness that god will forgive him. He was praying every night like ‘Father look at this wild child, so rebellious, she never listens to anyone and forgive for saying this, but she’s a brat, please give me the strength to handle her.’

I mean he’s right, I’m a little fight starter and I like to piss people off and I’m autistic so god doesn’t make sense to me and I was thirteen so I was literally like a Young Sheldon and his fact checking. I was questing the Bible just to make them mad and also bcs those things they were saying were in contrary with the Bible to me.

So I was called a Satan child for questioning the Bible, I was walking the wrong path and I was eaten by the darkness.

Once his youngest daughter accidentally misspelled some world and she ended saying that she has a girlfriend instead of boyfriend. They laughed it off but said to not ever be gay. So I said ‘What’s wrong with it?’. It was followed by screaming, even my mum’s, and he screamed the Bible out for me. Dragged me to church the next day and I had to listen to made up stories about how homosexuality is a sin and that I’m old enough to understand it. Then they all prayed for me so I would find my way back to light and god.

Maybe that’s the reason why he told me that I need his hands on my body, to cleanse me from sins and darkness. (I hope y’all know what this means) No, he never used a god to be a bad guy, he’s fucking crazy, has a god complex and does believe that he has some sort of power. I remember how he threw the Tv out of the window because it was the devil’s work.

Or maybe that’s something I want to believe.

It ended up with them breaking up because he said I’m way too much eaten by devil that prayers can’t save me. He used my mum, manipulated her, took her money and brain away and then left us on a street.

I’m wondering if he realises what he did. If he really uses a god to apologize his sins manipulative behavior and if he’s like all aware of it or if he really has a god complex and some psychosis and doesn’t realise any of it.

But he says that he’s a good person because he’s only following God’s words.

Anyway; since that I found the whole Christianity stupid. Because why this kid at church, maybe 4, cried to us that if he’s gonna pray maybe god will forgive him his sins? He’s a kid! Four years old! What kind of sins a kid can have?! And what kind of kind and lovely god is this shit man if he’s letting some assholes like them doing this a kid and make kids believe that they’re bad humans?

I still don’t understand what kind of gaslighting abusive faith is this but maybe im way too autistic to understand it.

Please don’t try to explain the god to me or tell me how Christianity is good, anyone who feels like they need to explain it to me, I don’t give a shit anymore and I hope y’all understand why. Also im very much stubborn and once I make my opinion you can’t change it.

Also once we left I outed myself to my mum, she almost dragged me back to church, she didn’t, but that didn’t stop her from telling me how sinful I am for MONTHS like mf never got tired of running her mouth

The religious lesbian

(anon: i'm so glad you popped back up. i just saw your question, and i wanted to assure you it was absolutely nothing you did wrong. i hope i didn't lead you to think that.

i overthink everything and it was incredibly personal, so i wasn't terribly sure if you wanted it posted publicly or not, as my invitation to share your story came with the assurance that it could remain private if you wanted.

i still have it sitting in my asks actually because i didn't know how to reach you to double check for your permission to share it!)

thank you for sharing such an intimate and difficult part of yourself. presenting without comment as not to overshadow your story <3 but i do want to say, at the very least, you deserve so much more than you got.

[caralara]

"and also I have a lot of complicated and sad feelings about harry I need to process!" Can you expand on this? (If it's not personal of course)

oooooof anon I don’t even know where to start

Maybe with the fact I’m severely sleep deprived after the week of wembley? And that I will probably change my mind tomorrow after a good nights sleep again? Or that I’m super sad and a little embarrassed about having these feelings and thoughts in the first place?

At almost every harry show I’ve had an existential crisis at some point during the concert, of “what am I doing here? Why am I like this? Why do I spend so much money and time and energy and attention on this? Why don’t I have more of a ‘real life’? Why am I such a loser? Why do I feel like I missed my chances and became a little-below-average-adult instead of the special unique star my mum always said I would be? Why do I know all these thoughts are there bc I’m depressed and a little too self aware and hanging on by a thread, it feels like, desperately trying to find the next thing to look forward to in order to not notice how little I feel overall anymore and how little I care at all about keeping on living?” (Wow that got depressing sorry)

But this does kind of take me out of the experience for a second. And then when I see harry. i see him and his face up close. And I’ve always prided myself on the fact I’m extremely good at reading people, (let’s forget for a second I could always be wrong obv for the sake of this explanation), and what I see when I look at harry is a completely crafted stage persona (fair enough) but like - it didn’t always feel like this last year? Idk, maybe it’s the combination of this being a stadium tour, all the drama that has happened since last tour, then the having to camp for days to be able to see him close-ish, being surrounded by the absolute nastiest bullies with TPWK tattoos you can imagine (literally half of them are bullies I’m not joking), the entire feather boa cowboy hats “fuck me fuck me fuck me” thing solo harries have going on, harry doing gender reveals with such glee (???? Like shouldn’t we like stop doing that? I get you love babies harry but, shouldn’t especially harry know gender conformity reinforcement isn’t like, it?), reacting to all these yuck and nasty signs, re-encouraging the environment-catastrophes that are feather boas and single use cowboy hats ?? So I see him several times performing and he’s got all these amazing songs that mean so so so much to me and I see him going through the motions (fair enough) and not really feel most of the songs, and all of that just makes it look so - inauthentic? Idk. It’s stupid but it makes me feel like he’s a sellout, and that’s just not fair for me to say or think, and I know that, but I can’t help it. And then today he hangs with Shelli Azoff who’s been to court bc she’s abusing her sevice staff??? And it does make me wonder am I just deluding myself? How much is true and how much isn’t of what we make him out to be? Genuinely, him bathing in and demanding for more of the literal worship of his actual person gave me the Ick so bad yesterday. And then again he sings sweet creature and kisses his cross necklace right after. And then again It’s probably (as it always has) much more to do with my ego than anything else, and being upset he didn’t even acknowledge me for a second while literally standing in front of him with my big ass birthday sign. So just me being a sad little kid who’s feelings got hurt bc I didn’t get the attention for my birthday from the boy I like the way I had way too high expectations of.

All these thoughts are jumbled, and I’m crying and I’m tired but you asked so you shall receive.

Im just tired of having to mentally defend harry when he’s clearly wanting it exactly the way it is - saying he’s never been happier over and over on stage. So. Do with that what you will.

[edandstede]

You can just say you don't like Izzy you don't have to say he deserves to be abused

he doesn’t! ignoring the fact that what characters “deserve” isn’t always the best way to view stories because, y’know, how much can a character deserve anything? characters do things to shape the stories they’re in, to make the story what it is, to give actions and reactions and consequences, it’s not about deserve.

anyway. if we’re doing this, then no, izzy doesn’t deserve bodily harm, to become disabled because of ed’s actions. of course he bloody doesn’t, stede’s reaction to the toes thing (“where’s the laugh there?”) Is right, it’s not funny, it’s deeply upsetting and we the viewers obviously know it isn’t right or okay.

i was talking about izzy emotionally abusing and manipulating ed into becoming the violent persona that ed didn’t want to be anymore, making him feel he had no safe alternative, which ed didn’t deserve either. do you see? how both can inflict shit on each other and neither of them have to be right about it? izzy has suffered the violent masculinity he believed made blackbeard great, believes makes men and pirates great, which is actually fucking tragic. it’s sad izzy even thought that way, but he isn’t the only man on the show to do so. it’s what ofmd is so good at highlighting. they have both made horrific choices and permanent damage has been done. they both have to deal with that, and i wholly believe they will. i would be curious to know what initially brought them together, because there must be some genuine friendship and trust there that’s been soiled along the way and has ended up a cycle of them hurting one another and not listening or breaking it off.

i do like izzy, i think he’s an interesting character and played exceptionally well, and i’m looking forward to his arc in s2. i think he has his own shit he’s never talked about that viewers aren’t privy to yet - not in a “tragic backstory absolves character of actions” way, just baggage like most of the characters have that dictates some of their decisions - and i would love to see some of those layers peeled back. there’s a lot going on there for sure.

what i don’t like are Izzy Fans™️ who cannot stand any kind of criticism of his character, when he is quite literally one of the main antagonists of s1. i also don’t like how so many conversations centre around him while other characters are sidelined. like fucking hell just be capable of discussing stuff without getting your knickers in a twist, please. you can like izzy without jumping to his defence as soon as someone else points out he fucked up too, badly so and many times, regardless of his own pain. i promise nobody will stop you liking him. it’s okay. someone tagging an izzy post as “yes cry harder” or “you reap what you sow” etc doesn’t mean all of the above isn’t also true lmao i’m sure izzy will cope