#he literally kid(ha)napped a child and doesn’t know

[wow-thisismylifeiguess]

Cryptid Bruce

Martha and Thomas Wayne struggled to have a child for years and Thomas meets a shady man who tells him that a child will come to them soon

Thomas just ‘??? okaaaaaay’s him but in a week, Martha bursts into his office looking frazzled

“We’re being haunted.”

“….”

“Don’t give me that look, Thomas Wayne. The Manor. It’s haunted. Alfred! Tell him we’re being haunted!”

And Alfred comes in, also looking frazzled but to a lesser degree.

The two explain that things are moving around the Manor without any kind of explanation, but Thomas doesn’t believe them. Until he notices things in his office also being moved. The weirdest event is when they start hearing a child’s giggles. No explanation. None.

Not until Thomas, sleep deprived after going over paperwork for one too many hours, pops into the kitchen and…there is a child. Sitting on the kitchen counter.

The child, a boy, turns. Grins. Waves.

“Hi, daddy.”

—

Bruce, they name him, can melt into shadows. He finds it hilarious. Martha thinks she’s going to go grey at her young age. She adores him. Thomas adores him. He’s their son now.

The Waynes have a mysterious child, but they keep their private lives very private, so maybe they just successfully hid a pregnancy? And then a child. For…three years. They think Bruce is three, at least.

Despite how odd of a child Bruce is, they love him dearly. He’s some kind of miracle. A…very weird, possibly magical(?) miracle.

—

Dick thinks his adoptive father is strange. Extremely strange. Bruce makes absolutely no noise when he moves. He doesn’t cast shadows but he seemingly is able to *blend into them*. His smile, whilst genuine, seems a little too sharp.

He thinks he’s a vampire.

Bruce laughs so hard, he doubles over.

“No, but I am the Batman, so I guess you’re not far off.”

“…is this a joke?”

“Nope.”

“A dream?”

Bruce pinches him and Dick yelps.

Bruce doesn’t explain to Dick what he is, because he doesn’t have a clue himself. He just…is.

—

But when Jason comes along, he has a million and one questions. Bruce blinks at him.

“How did you do that? You literally *melted* into the shadows!”

Bruce shrugs.

“No. *No*. Explain.”

“I…can’t.”

“You said no secrets, B!”

Bruce puts his hands up defensively. “It’s not a secret! I really don’t know! It just…kind of happens.”

Jason stares at him. Bruce stands there. He seems to flicker? The edges of his body go a bit transparent and Dick knows he only does that when he’s stressed.

“Leave him alone, Jay. He’s telling the truth. He’s just…like that. But he’s still Bruce.”

It takes Jason two months to accept it. By then, his questions are more from genuine intrigue and wonder. He hides under Batman’s cape and somehow it’s spacious? It can even fit Dick at the same time. No one (but Bruce) can even hear them when they’re under there.

And then one day, when he goes to take a nap under Bruce’s cape, someone else is there.

“….B?”

“…”

“You know what I’m going to ask.”

“…”

“*Bruce*.”

“No real names, Robin.”

“No one can hear me!”

“…I didn’t kidnap him.”

“What his name?”

“Timothy Drake.”

“FROM DRAKE INDUSTRIES?”

And Tim wakes up, rubbing his eyes. He looks exhausted and way too skinny, and all of a sudden, Jason understands why Dick has cooed at him the first night Bruce brought him home.

“Um…hi.”

“B, we’re keeping him.”

Jason doesn’t need to see Bruce’s face to know he’s smiling.

—

Damian just…appears. Bruce suddenly understands his parents’ reactions to his first appearance because nearly the same exact thing happens. Bruce wakes up from a nap. He doesn’t need to sleep very often, something Tim finds incredibly annoying, declaring it to be *unfair*. He wakes up, and curled against his chest is…a boy. Who looks a *lot* like him.

“Uh.”

The child wakes up, blinks at him w striking green eyes.

“Hello Father.”

What the fuck.

Dick slams his way into Bruce’s office, followed by Jason and Tim, who are bickering with each other.

“DAAAAAAAD, THEY WON���T SHU- oh. Steal another kid?”

“…he just appeared.”

“That’s the excuse you used for Jason.”

“No. Literally. I fell asleep. No kid. Woke up. Kid.”

“My name is Damian.”

“That’s no fair. You came pre-named?”

Damian is as odd as Bruce. Actually, he’s weirder. And stabby. Bruce finds him *delightful*. He adores him.

—

Dick is Nightwing, Jason is Red Hood (no death, he just thought it was a cool name), Tim is Red Robin, and Damian’s Robin.

Bruce is Batman. Despite being in his late 30s, he still looks like he’s in his mid 20s.

—

Batman stands in front of a bank robber who’s going on about their evil bank robbing plans. Nightwing pops his head out from beneath Batman’s cape.

“Can you get to the point?”

Red Hood pops out next.

“I’m getting bored.”

Red Robin follows.

“This is sad.”

Damian.

“Scum.”

Batman sighs.

“Why are all of you here?”

“Missed you.”

They all chime in.

The robber.

“How…how the *fuck-?*”

“Language. There are kids around.”

“B, I’m 23.”

“Says the boy taking a nap in my cape. And I was talking about Red Robin and Robin.”

“…’s comfy.”

“I’m eighteen???”

“F- Batman! I am not a child!”

There’s some shuffling sounds, no doubt Red Hood moving over to ruffle Robin’s hair.

“Whatever you say, Tiny Demon.”

And then Red Hood shrieks.

“No stabbing your brothers, Robin.”

“He called me small!”

“…you are.”

“This is insulting, F- Batman. I will grow to be as big as you. No. *Bigger*.”

The robber watches in confusion, mild amusement, and horror.

Batman sighs.

“We’ll talk about this later. Now, you were saying? Blowing up the bank, terrorizing the people.” Batman yawns. “Anything else?”

“Just take me to Arkham. I think I’m insane.”

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

cang qiong dragon god shen yuan is probably like so old that time doesn’t have meaning? like he transmigrated into pidw as a dragon and and the system gave him a few missions that functionally amounted to ‘claim this mountain range as your territory and defend it from demons’

sy didn’t realize that he was actually laying the foundation for cang qiong mountain sect before its creation. some terrifying demon demigod (one of the first heavenly demons, maybe?) pursues a band of cultivators to his mountain range, and he protects them. they settle his mountains and start cultivating, and because they’re protected by a literal god (who they call lord canglong, and they name the mountains after him) people want to study there.

so cqms is born, and sy takes a nap. when he wakes up, those cultivators he saved bring another group of cultivators, all named 'wen' to his mountain, and they ask his permission to lead the peaks next. another nap, and he wakes up to the wen generation asking his blessing for the ming generation, so on and so forth up until the qing generation. this time he recognizes names: qingge, qingfang, qingqi. this generation's leader, qingyuan. and the one whose bow is shallow and perfunctory, qingqiu. ofc sy isn't super pressed about standing on ceremony or whatever—he's only experienced like six years in this world, and most of them were spent either establishing the mountain as his territory or helping his little cultivators fight off some world-ending cataclysm or other. but he remembers the scum villain’s name, and he’s not a huge fan of the way sqq’s already proving himself to be an arrogant old shit

just like every other time, after he’s met and blessed this generation of peak lords, shen yuan falls asleep. shit!!! he meant to stay awake this time, but the system putting him to sleep is just too powerful! he’s probably missed luo binghe, damnit!!! what’s the point of transmigrating into this shitty novel if he doesn’t even get to meet the only character worth the pixels it took to type him into existence??

but as soon as he sees that fluffy-haired boy curled up in one of his caves, bruised and weeping and wondering what he’s done to be so universally hated, shen yuan knows. that’s his protagonist, and he’s really too pathetic like this. he’s really just a child. and shen yuan might have been easily annoyed by the concept of kids in his first life, but this isn’t just some whiny kid. this is the protagonist. so he does his best to calm tiny lord luo down.

and at first when lbh realizes it’s the fucking dragon god canglong speaking to him, the poor kid falls on his face kowtowing and apologizing for the intrusion, but lord canglong just…asks him what’s wrong. and then listens. and then he allows binghe to…to touch his hand???? not only that, he pats binghe’s head?? and tells him it isn’t his fault??? that one little head-pat is filled with so much spiritual power that binghe almost passes out, and soon after he recovers, lord canglong sends him back down the mountain with a renewed sense of purpose. lord canglong said binghe wasn’t stupid, wasn’t incompetent, wasn’t a failure, and binghe was determined to prove himself worthy of the sect’s guardian deity’s kindness.

and when luo binghe turns to walk down the mountain back to qing jing peak, that google translate voice pipes up in shen yuan’s ear with an update he hadn’t realized he was waiting for.

[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times! USER_002 has completed the quest {From the Ground Up}! B-points +500 USER_002 has initiated the quest {Master of Masters}! New skill [Shapeshifter] has been unlocked! Would USER_002 like to activate [Shapeshifter] now?]

shen yuan slammed the bright glowing [YES] faster than any quest the system had ever given him. that’s how he learned that he was, in fact, just naked in front of luo binghe, and the [Shapeshifter] skill didn’t come with an auto-clothed setting. thank fuck he’d already sent the protagonist away!

[emmyrosee]

Okay okay hear me out.

Sukuna and reader visiting little brother Yuji at school for whatever reason.

I can imagine people would prob find Sukuna super scary and intimidating and try to move away from him but he doesn’t rlly mind it.

And imagine Sukuna carrying a tiny Yuji and playing around with him at the play ground oml 🤭🤭🤭

GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHDDDDDD

There’s just this mammoth of a man, ducking through school hallways and bearing his teeth at anyone who dares look his way. He’s blanketed in tattoos, he’s in a tank and sweats, completely inappropriate attire for a guardian-teacher conference. But hey, it ain’t his fault his Ma couldn’t make it in.

In his ring clad left hand, is your right. In his bent right arm and perched on his hip, is Yuuji. You and Yuuji, naturally, are smiling and waving at everyone while Sukuna guides you both through the halls, and he looks like a ferocious beast barely able to be tamed enough to be there. People quite literally part the halls to let you all pass, and it makes you turn your head to him.

“Why is everyone looking at us?” You ask, he flicks his gaze down to you briefly before looking back down the hall.

“Because you’re too hot to not look at,” he says, and when you giggle and press a kiss to the back of his hand, he smirks.

Yuuji starts to squirm and paw outwards at a classroom, and inside a kind looking teacher waves, calling the three of you in.

The conference goes as planned, Yuuji is learning on track, not great with his alphabet yet but superb with counting, he gets along with all the kids but has one special friend named Fushiguro that he spends all his time with, and he’s just the happiest boy to be around in class.

“Nothing like you, huh babe?” You tease Sukuna, and he nods while the teacher laughs.

“Jokes on you,” he begins. “I’m great at the alphabet.”

After being dismissed, you once again walk through the halls of parted guardians before making your way outside, where Yuuji once again starts to paw at the playground. Sukuna rolls his eyes, “come on, ma’ll kill me if you’re late for nap time.”

“But!” Yuuji whines.

You coo at sukuna, “a few minutes won’t kill him. It’ll tucker him out even more, no?” You flash your own pair of puppy eyes at him, “please, sukuna?”

“Fuck, are you asking for you or for him?” He scoffs, passing you the small child. You two squeal and make your way to the playground, making a beeline for the slide. Yuuji eagerly climbs up the ladder while sukuna trails behind.

“Su’kna!” He calls to his brother. “Catch!”

“I’m not catching-“

He can’t finish his sentence before yuuji starts to slide down on his bottom, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen sukuna move so fast in your entire relationship, than to catch his little brother at the base of the slide to catch him in his big arms. The little boy giggles as he’s caught and hauled back into the air by his brother, “you’re a little troublemaker, you know that?”

Yuuji simply laughs as he squirms from his brothers grip and runs off, leaving you and sukuna to watch.

“He’s such a good boy,” you hum.

Sukuna wraps his arm around you, “he’s just okay.”

“Yeah, okay,” you snort, resting your head against him. He goes quiet, and you look up at him lovingly, “what’re you thinking about in that big melon head of yours?”

He glares down at you briefly before sighing and shaking his head, “he’s just… he’s so big.”

“I know,” you agree.

“And… I want him… to stay this way. Forever.” He chuckles, “don’t want him to grow up and one day be stuck with a brat like you.”

“I’m not a brat,” you scoff. But you turn your head up to him to press a kiss to his jawline, “but he’ll always be little, to you. And hey- if he does meet a brat, he knows you’ll be there to take care of him.”

He hums and watches as his brother climbs to the top of the jungle gym, calling Sukuna’s name proudly. “I gotta go make sure he doesn’t break his arm. Want to go to the truck?”

You chuckle and nod, “sure. I’ll see you both in a bit.”

[mi-olaaa]

↳˗ˏˋ Jjk men as your babydaddy. ˊˎ˗ ↴

☆ ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ☆

Gojo Satoru.. ☆ ˊˎ˗

• He is so clingy, it’s almost sickening— y’all might’ve broken up, but to him? That don’t matter.

• You don’t know what a moment of peace is anymore, as soon two found out you were pregnant, he was ON it.

• Doctor’s appointments? He’s there. Shopping trips? He’s there. Whether it’s you resting at home and he’s caressing your belly, or you in the bed taking a nap. Gojo is there.

• What Gojo lacks in personal space he makes up for with how much he absolutely spoils and dotes on you. Whatever you want. Baby clothes, random pregnancy gadgets, even maternity clothes and stuff unrelated to pregnancy, you have it.

• About you two breaking up? Like I said it doesn’t matter, Gojo is literally there everyday almost, helping you out with everything, all the heavy lifting you can’t do at a certain point in your pregnancy, setting up the nursery, fucking you so good when your hormones become too much, and plenty other things to take care of the mama to be.

• Most importantly of all, when your bundle of joy was born, he was there, holding your hand through it all, ready to meet his baby with you.

Toji Fushiguro..☆ ˊˎ˗

• Toji honestly.. He’s not the best, but yk.. He’s definitely something.

• The whole reason you two broke up is because of you getting pregnant, he couldn’t handle it, literally, he walked out on you.

• He didn’t come back for a long ass time, you were only a month away from giving birth when he finally decided to accept the fact that he was a father again.

• He’s still the same asshole you know, but a little sweeter, but only because he felt guilty. Goes to a couple of the last appointments, and was there when the gender was found out.

• Gives you your space when you asks, understands that you are definitely still mad at him, but he looks absolutely adorable in the pictures you take of him and the baby.

• Sees the child every time on his visitation, one rare time he doesn’t, had to do another job. Other than that.. I mean idk, he could lean more the shitty bd at times, but he has his good moments too.

Nanami Kento..☆ ˊˎ˗

• When you found out you were pregnant, he was over the MOON. I mean, this man was crying, but not bawling his eyes out 😭

• Was talking so much shit about being a girl dad, while you thought it would be a boy. He won.

• Always says something along the lines of ‘my girls’. Always. He still has love for you definitely, and respects any boundaries you have, but yo’ ass was definitely testing how much self control he had some days.

• Turns out he had a pretty good amount of control to respect said boundaries, but it wasn’t until you FaceTimed him one night on that pregnancy hormone shit— Horny and leaking? How could he not take care of you?

• Whew shit y’all. If you weren’t already pregnant, you definitely would’ve been now. He put that WORK in. (He made gentle, intimate love to you, he’s too much of a loverboy to do anything else frfr (at least while you’re pregnant))

• Kento was there when you gave birth, and afterwards to help you with postpartum, mans is so obviously in love with you. SNEAK ATTACK— he proposes to you, and you quite literally woke up from a nap, holding your baby girl. You said yes. You said yes right? YOU BETTER HAD SAID YES MF HE IS SUCH A CUTIE PATOOTIE

Choso Kamo.. ☆ ˊˎ˗

• Honestly for the both of you, those nine months were a blur, he was there, partially out of curiosity though. 😭

• You had twins! Two little chubby cheek babies, one a girl, and one a boy.

• Choso doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but he’s trying y’all. He took almost an hour when he changed them for the first time, and cried because the babies were crying and he thought they must’ve been mad at him.

• always has the twins in those cute ass lil fuzzy animal onesies, his favorite to put them in are the shark ones. And he sends you pictures of them of course!

• Loves his kids to death and literally cannot process through his day without seeing them at least once. He might have some slight feelings for you, but pushes them down in respect of trying not to make a disruptive home life for the kids (is literally just convinced if you two get back together you will break up again and yeah..)

Suguru Geto.. ☆ ˊˎ˗

• Girl dad. I mean, he already had Mimiko and Nanako, ofc he’s a girl dad, don’t matter if they adopted frfr. Did i mention he’s a girl dad? HE IS A GIRL DAD. BOWS IN HIS HAIR, STICKERS AND ALL.

• Sucks ass at changing diapers tho, sorry y’all, we can’t all be great. His baby got that luscious hair from her daddy, blame him for heartburn.

• You two broke up? He dgaf about that! Literally js be all up in ya damn house, but honestly, if he wasn’t on the day your water broke, you would’ve been giving birth in the shower— so be thankful I guess? 😭

• He dotes on you, makes late night target runs for the random shit you crave, be tired asf, but anything for you pookie 🫶🏾, especially since you’re carrying his child.

• Mimiko and Nanako love the child too, tbf it’s a baby, who wouldn’t? Take their little sister shopping mf 😭 playing at the park when she’s older, and babysit too.

• Geto could be busy at some point, but when he is, he makes sure to see his kid once a week. He is such a cutie patootie with his skrunkly ass baby, you can’t help but take photos when you can.

☆ ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ☆

Authors note: honestly ion got nun to say 🤷🏾‍♀️ except for #girldadnanami2024‼️

‘IGHT BYEE 🫶🏾

[drysdalesworld]

i loved what you wrote about the boys with super energetic kids but what about them with kids who are the complete opposite? like a very shy, quiet kid

them with a shy, quiet child

i was planning on doing this anyway but i love that you asked for it bc i wasn’t too sure if anyone else wanted that as well. hope you enjoy! <3

the boys with a shy & quiet kid (+ x fem!reader)

the boys with a shy, quiet daughter:

JACK HUGHES

— is so patient & gentle with her it’s crazy

— ^ like he’s so careful with his words when speaking to her & always makes sure that she’s comfortable

— speaks for her when she’s too shy to speak. like when the three of you are out at a restaurant & she’s too shy to tell the waiter what she wants, he’ll do it for her & always makes sure to ask her exactly what she wants beforehand so there’s no mistakes when ordering

— holds her hand when she gets anxious & squeezes it a couple of times to make sure she knows that he’s there for her

— she much prefers you over jack due to how calmer you are as a person but he doesn’t mind at all. if anything, he’s glad that she’s able to find solace in the reader as he can only imagine how hard it is to be shy & quiet as a child

— he genuinely tries to be more calmer & quiet in her presence. it’s a work in progress

— jack often finds himself going to quinn for advice on how to do better with his daughters shy & quietness. he only wants to do good by his daughter & it shows in his actions

— encourages her to speak her truth & speak up for herself when needed. he knows that it’s a hard thing to do but he encourages it by practicing & setting an example with reader as they both openly communicate how they feel to each other

— encourages her to speak her truth & speak up for herself when needed. he knows that it’s a hard thing to do but he encourages it by practicing & setting an example with reader as they both openly communicate how they feel to each other

— will literally wear a princess dress to the movies if a new disney movie comes out & she decides it’s her new favorite princess & wants to dress up. he has no shame

— during the summers, he makes sure to lather her in sunscreen. he’s deathly afraid of her burning so he goes the extra mile

— ^ tries to convince her to go wake boarding with him but she always says no. until a couple of weeks into the summer months, she finally agrees & has a blast as jack holds her tightly & does all these cool spins & tricks on the board

— he 100% always joins the readers & their daughters nap times when he gets back home from morning skate. the sight of the two of you wrapped up & cuddled around each other is so cute & makes his heart melt

— jack makes sure to give her a puck before every home game & blows her a kiss before skating off. he also makes sure to dedicate his second goal to her, his first dedicated to you always

KIRBY DACH

— she’s so small in comparison to kirby it’s insane

— he always holds her close wherever they go together. since you both live in montréal, & it’s cold, he always bundles her up so it’s quite funny to see him carrying just a ball of wrapped baby

— kirby’s so much more gentler & quieter with her. he can definitely tell when she’s having a more quiet day & is the best in making her comfortable

— 100% tries to help with her shyness by signing her up in sports or other activities to try to get her out of her shell

— ^ you once suggested summer camp & kirby was super hesitant about it but she ended up loving it so much that she couldn’t wait for the next summer. kirby lowkey felt sad at that bc all he wants to do is spend time with his baby girl & her going off nearly every summer for however many weeks just goes to show how much she’s growing

— whenever she gets nervous or eerily quiet, he holds out his hand for her & just dance around with her. it never fails to put a smile on her face & always gets her out of her funk

— kirby made her a bracelet when she was younger & she wore the shit out of it. it’s now just string but she always played with it whenever she got nervous or approached a new person at school in hopes of being their friend. she still carries it around with her for comfort

— is so supportive in whatever she does

— ^ she wants to play pickleball instead of hockey? he’s already checking out all the gear she’ll need. decides last minute to wear a princess dress instead of her school uniform? he’s asking her which dress she wants. she wants to try to make a friend by herself at the park? he’s sitting back & observing w/ a smile on his face

— kirby’s very big on communication so he always makes sure to check in on her & her feelings. it’s gotten to the point where she’ll just tell you how she feels instead of reader or kirby having to ask

— is also the type of dad to have matching costumes with his daughter

— ^ one year they went as (pink) kirby & princess daisy. it was so fucking cute. it’s one of your lock screens in your phone hehe

— is the one to wake her up in the morning & ease any anxiety she has about school or making new friends

— ^ he’ll brush back the hair from her face & softly speak to her as she voices her concerns & he’s so good at proving that she has nothing to be afraid of. he also makes sure that she’s confident in whatever she wears so kirby allows her to choose her outfits (she’s a little fashionista fr)

NICO HISCHIER

— mans will be the gentlest giant with her

— ^ cuddles 24/7 & nothing but affirmations from this man

— he can understand how hard it is to be so shy & quiet so he always tries his best to make little goals with his daughter in hopes of breaking her out of her shell

— ^ he’ll ask her what she wants to achieve that day on their way to school. it can be anything ranging from making a flower crown to asking someone to play with her during playtime. he’s always so proud of her when she runs up to him after school with the biggest smile on her face, telling him what she achieved that day

— nico’s heart always warms whenever he sees reader & their daughter together. she’s a lot like you & he’s so proud & thankful that he’s been blessed with this kind of life

— encourages her to go to practices with him whenever she’s allowed to

— is def the dad to be up on the stage with his daughter during her ballerina recital

— takes her to new places for exposure & although it’s nerve racking for the both of them, it’s something that neither of them will forget bc of the fun memories

— she does eventually “grow out” of being quiet & shy. she’s got a lot more tools to work with when she’s anxious or feeling shy & nico is always there to help her whenever she needs it

— plays with her hair when he sees that she’s going back into her shell

— ^ he allows her to do so most days but he knows the importance of building up your confidence when young & making friends so he plays with her hair for a bit while he talks to her to bring back up her mood. it usually works

— 100% the one to talk to her about her anxieties & make her feel better about them after

— nico tries everything to get her more out of her shell. he puts her into sports he thinks she’ll enjoy. makes sure she goes to her classmates birthday parties. all that stuff with different goals in mind so even if she doesn’t make a new friend, she’ll still have something to be proud of herself for

TREVOR ZEGRAS

— tbh, he has no clue what to do lol

— he’s learned a great amount of patience with his daughter

— he def tries to understand why she’s so quiet & shy. this leads him to reading about it more & seeking out answers on what he could do to accommodate her more

— trev 100% had to go to jamie for help since they’re both alike in personality. he’s such a big help

— will do anything to protect her & make sure she’s comfortable

— ^ whether that be in his arms or by herself, he’s ready to do whatever

— practices speaking up for herself. trevor will be so much more talkative about how he feels & what he’s doing throughout the day w/ her that she’ll eventually pick up on it & do it herself

— ^ if she’s not confident enough to verbalize it, she’ll write it & sometimes he & her go back & forth with letters. reader got the whole family a notebook so they all can communicate through that if verbalizing it is too hard

— mans literally shed a tear when she made her first friend

— the entire ducks team adore her

— let’s her take the reins in some things. it gives her the confidence to do things for herself & he can see the change in her behavior when she has more control over certain choices

— if she’s feeling shy or anxious, trevor will suggest they play hide ‘n seek or another game to get her mind off things or to simply just make her laugh & have a good time

— always on high energy when he wakes her up & sometimes she bounces off him with it but most often, she doesn’t so he has to check himself a lot & be a lot more calmer around her in the morning

the boys with a shy, quiet son:

JAMIE DRYSDALE

— is so happy to have a kid just like him. he literally looks just like jamie & acts like him it’s kind of eerie

— before jamie leaves for morning skate, he always presses a kiss to the crown of his sons forehead, whispering a promise of coming back & waking him up for breakfast

— ^ jamie takes great pleasure in waking up your son every morning after he returns from morning skate. he just looks so cute with his dark hair all sprawled about, still wiping the sleep from his eyes as he reaches out for his dad. jamie always chuckled to himself as he takes his son into his arms & rubs his back soothingly, making his way out to the kitchen where you are

— you & jamie are one of the only people your son plays with so it’s always a hassle to try to encourage him to play with other children his age

— ^ the one time it works is when jamie took him to the park & started talking to one of the other dads there. his son saw him talking to someone new so he decided that if his dad can do it, then so can he. he made two friends that day & they regularly go on play dates

— you always encourage both jamie & your son to be more friendly & talkative as you know it would most likely help them break out of their shells a little bit

— he put your son into hockey in hopes of him coming out of his shell a little bit & it def worked. jamie sometimes has to drag your son off of the ice bc he doesn’t want to leave just yet

— he’s really only friendly to certain people like trevor or mason since he’s known them since he could remember. it’s just other people he’s super hesitant about but both him & jamie are working on it together!

— loves loves holding him & taking him everywhere

— he always talks to him too about whatever & his son usually responds talking about something random. it’s how he developed his rambling habit whenever he meets new kids lol

— when he got traded, jamie was really nervous to see how your son reacted to the change since it was so sudden & abrupt. but he surprisingly took it really well. he even said hi to some of the other players after the game, head buried into readers collarbone as he waved to those walking passed him

— ^ the flyers def love your son & always include him on their “barking”. once he gets comfortable enough, he just kind of screams instead of barking but the whole team just eats it up & loves it, cheering him on

LUKE HUGHES

— he & his son are one in the same

— ^ they have the same facial expressions for everything & it’s too funny when they overhear someone saying some random shit & make the exact same face

— your son may be shy & quiet but he’s also calm & mellow. he speaks through his eyes & facial expressions

— ^ has a rbf & is not afraid to use it (especially if someone’s bothering him or you lol)

— reader 100% believes that her son is an old soul & is just done with living. like little dude barely tries to make friends (granted he is shy & it’s a little difficult for him) & just doesn’t have much to say & when he does, he has you reevaluating your life after a conversation

— lukes fav thing to do with his son is put a shit ton of blankets on the couch, make a fort, & watch his favorite movies while snacking on mac n cheese & homemade cookies. they do it nearly every night luke’s home

— he’s super gentle & patient with him as he tries to navigate his shyness. luke encourages him to make friends but doesn’t pressure him at all & also puts him into sports in hopes that he makes them naturally through that

— ^ & it does work! he’s made so many friends through hockey, soccer, baseball, etc.. although he is still quite shy & quiet during his games, which he is actively working on

— whispers to him when he’s overwhelmed & rubs his back in comfort as his son crawls into his arms

— puts him to bed & reads him bedtime stories

— at the lake house, luke is ever the more observant & cautious with his son. he makes sure to put sunscreen on him & that he always has his hat on to protect him from the sun

— ^ when he asked luke if he could go wake boarding with him, he nearly squealed in excitement. his son doesn’t really feel comfortable trying new things so this is a HUGE step in the right direction. holds onto him so tight as he giggles whenever luke does tricks. he has such a blast

QUINN HUGHES

— these two are a mirror image of each other it’s insane

— ^ ellen pointed it out to you a few weeks after you had given birth & you can’t unsee it (your son & quinn are twinsies fr)

— even tho his son is shy, he highly encourages him to make some friends in pre-k but assures him that he should take it day by day & that he’ll always love him no matter what

— definitely tries to make him less anxious by taking him in his arms & giving him raspberries in his neck or on his stomach. it helps take his mind off of whatever he was thinking about

— his son always wants to see him right after quinn’s games, which isn’t always possible so sometimes he has him join him for interviews. just quinns presence makes his son calm

— ^ quinns def encouraged him to answer or speak into the mic & his son is always a blushing mess after he says hi into it, hiding his face in the crook of quinns neck as everyone awes

— quinn always has a hand on his son. whether it be on top of his curly hair or on his back as his soothingly rubs it. he always has to have a hand on your son as quinn knows that he’s his son safe person. it makes the both of them feel better

— always tries to include him in everything (when it’s appropriate) so he’ll def bring him to events or practices. it exposes him to more things & it eases his sons anxiety with stuff like that

— 100% does arts & crafts with him. it’s so fucking cute istg

— when he’s old enough to understand certain words, quinn will tell him about his struggles with being a quiet child as well. he wants his son to know that he’s not alone & never is

— gets him a bear that has a voice recorder in it with the both of you saying “we love you bud! you got this!” that he plays every morning & it 100% makes him feel better about whatever he was worried about

— his son’s biggest cheerleader fr

— ^ the loudest you will ever hear quinn be is at his sons sports game or when he gets an award. he’s so proud of him & all of his progress, no matter how great or small

LUCA FANTILLI

— is off the walls ecstatic to just have a child really

— loves him either way

— luca is definitely his sons safe person so luca always has him in his arms or has a hand on his head as he clings onto his leg

— always refers to him as “buddy” or “my little buddy”, which gets him out of his shell sometimes since he wants to be just like his dad

— so so patient & understanding

— ^ will sit by his son as he’s trying to express himself without feeling nervous & lets him take his time. also helps him through his emotions as well

— encourages him to practice his “social skills” on him so he can remember what to say or do when he wants to make a new friend

— takes him to practice when allowed & just lets him chill or play around with the pucks

— ^ the entire umich team loves loves your son & although he is shy, they always make an effort to talk to him or fist bump him every time they skate by him. they respect his boundaries 100% too

— ^^ monday questions with him is always 50/50. sometimes he’ll be up for it & other times he won’t. but when he is, he’s so cute & giggly as he answers the question (most definitely copying his dads answer)

— reader is the one to wake him up more often than not & he much prefers it that way. you’re much calmer than luca at times so your son loves to just cuddle up to you as you pick him up & make your way to the kitchen where luca is making breakfast

— luca has him do the “shakes” whenever he’s feeling anxious about something

— ^ he told his son that it helps with getting the nerves out & he’ll absolutely just start shaking his arms or whole body out of nowhere to get rid of them

— the king at back rubs fr

— gets all papa bear when he hears from his sons teacher that some kids were making fun of him for being so quiet. luca literally gives a stern talking to to their parents & tells his son that bullies only do that to make themselves feel better since they feel “bad/insecure” about themselves. him being shy & quiet is something that he shouldn’t be ashamed of as it is apart of him & luca & reader love every inch of their son, no matter what

— posts “ootd” stories on his insta & hypes up his son as he poses & giggles

— always makes sure to shower his son in praise whenever he achieves a goal or makes a new friend. he’s so excited for his little buddy & his progress!

COLE CAUFIELD

— is surprisingly good at this for some reason

— knows all the tricks to encourage his son to get out of his shell & interact with others

— ^ you’re suspicious of him sometimes bc whatever he does or suggests always works. it’s like he’s psychic or something

— if he’s not having a good day, cole will gather his son in his arms & hold his close to his chest. sometimes he even puts his sweatshirt over him as he’s wearing it so he feels even safer

— cole throws ice cream parties whenever his son makes a new friend or talks to someone for longer than five minutes

— ^ you think it’s a bit excessive but start to see the progress he’s making in breaking through his shell so you don’t stop cole from continuing to throw them. you eventually find it super cute & heartfelt

— def encourages him to find something he’s passionate about to take his mind off whatever he’s feeling anxious about. sports is something he wants to try so cole sort of threw him into whatever sport he thought he’d enjoy

— ^ soccer is something your son enjoys as communication has to be constant between all the players & it encourages him to be more vocal

— is really good at implementing coping techniques/mechanisms for his son if he ever needs them. lowkey a therapist fr (he’s got extensive knowledge about this shit that you sometimes wonder what cole would be like as an actual therapist)

— gets super excited when he does something out of his comfort zone & makes sure his son knows how proud of him he is

— is super patient & understanding

— it’s a tradition for cole to take him to practice once or twice a month (or week) & the boys absolutely love your son!

— ^ little dude is a completely different person on the ice it’s insane. all of his shyness & quiet tendencies disappear & he just has so much fun that it sometimes makes cole tear up with pride & happiness

[slaughter-kin]

the 141 as dads

captain john price-

• this man is would be such a good dad

• we all know for a fact this man has a breeding kink so i see him having like 3/4 kids

• waking up early in the morning and eating bowls of cereal watching old cartoon re runs with them

• would start smoking outside or exclusively in his office because he doesn’t want that around them

• type of dad in his retirement to coach his kids football/soccer team

• the best for laying the child on his chest, humming as they fall asleep

• would be super interested in what his children’s interest are (this goes for all of them but i’m putting it here)

• takes his kids on camping and fishings trips

• loves to play hide-n-seek with his kids

• his kids would mock his actions and stand in front of the tv with his hands behind his back, and when they are napping on the couch his kid would also start snoring cause we all know this man snores LOUDLY

• type of dad whenever his kids mention they like eating something once he buys like 5 boxes of it

• would cry they say their first word no matter what is is

• loves taking them to the park

kyle ‘gaz’ garrick-

• okay literally the best dad ever

• i could see him with like 2 or 3 kids

• MATCHING OUTFITS

• if he had girls he would 1000% learn all kind of cute braid styles for them

• when he found out his spouse was pregnant he would be shocked but happy and would immediately buy 100 what to expect when you’re expecting books

• would hate when he kids got into trouble cause he would hate laying the law down but would sit them down and talk every calm but firm

• then would go into another room and be like 🥺

• would NEVER get angry with his kids

• all the mothers would flirt with him in the pickup line at school and he just ignores it

• he thinks his children deserve the entire world

• his kids call Price grandpa

• will blow raspberries on their stomachs until they they can’t stop giggling

• takes 1000 photos of his kids doing anything and then spam sends them to his spouse

• got so nauseous the first time he changed a diaper

• family halloween outfits

john ‘soap’ mactavish-

• such a fun dad

•pillow forts

• ice cream for breakfast

• if he had a son/sons he would cut their hair in the mohawk style as well

• would want so many children omg

• he comes from a big family so i think he would want one as well

• but if his spouse didn’t want a big family he would be okay with it

• if you’ve watched modern family he would be like phil dunphy

• would put his kids on those kid leashes whenever they go anywhere

• i feel like one thing he would struggle with is saying no to his children

• would always help them with their math and science homework

• type of dad to do push ups while his kids are sitting in his back and they are all giggling

• the proudest dad ever! is at every dance recital or sports game or talent show and if he can’t be (because of his job) he would ask all about it when he got home and even if they did poorly he would still tell them how proud of them he is and go her ice cream

•TICKLE FIGHTS

• it would also tear him up if couldn’t be there during a special event for his children

• i also feel like he would cry at major life milestones

• if his children/kid are into sports all you can hear at games is him yelling across the field

simon ‘ghost’ riley-

• GIRL DAD SIMON GIRL DAD SIMON GIRL DAD SIMON

• just imagine him with a pink baby holder strapped to his chest

• he would be such a good father omg

• with his past with his father he would be super scared at first but then as he’s holding this tiny infant he would get angry (not at child obviously) cause how could anyone treat their child the way his father treated him?

• would be super protective of his children (i mean all of them would tbh)

• as cute as it is for the baby to wear little skull head clothing, i don’t think he would want his children knowing ‘Ghost’.

• i think one thing he would struggle with is when his kids throw tantrums when it’s over something ridiculous like he wouldn’t let them pull their siblings hair or eat something gross off the floor and he doesn’t know how to deal with them. he doesn’t want to get to firm and scare them and he doesn’t want to give into such ridiculous things so he would kinda back away and look at you for help

• his kids would 1000% get his accent

• loves to lift them up with his arms, whooshing them around like they are a super hero

• has tea parties with his kids and their stuffed animals on a regular basis

• such a big softie for his children/child are you kidding me

• his children/kid use him as like a jungle gym and are usually hanging off his arms

• would never tell them what he does for work and when they ask he would just say ‘work’

i would give any of these men children or all of them

let me know if you have any feedback!!

[tatsumessy]

how many kids do you have? - {one piece}

luffy

you and luffy only have one kid which happens to be a son who looks up to him. A LOT. i’m talking when your son reached his teen years he was ready to full on fight his father in gear 5 mode and because your husband is kind of slow he accidentally went to hard on him but it ended up being fine. but bless your soul, everytime they spar together you make sure to stay far away because your heart can’t take it.

zoro

one kid as well. but a girl. she aspires to be just like her father, a great swordsman. but she refuses to learn three sword style, it was so bad that zoro and her didn’t talk for a whole month because she refused, he finally gave in because he didn’t like the thought of his little princess being mad at him. she’s like his best friend in child form but one thing he does hate is that she has a little crush on Sanji. it’s a harmless crush that started because he wouldn’t make her, her favorite foods but Sanji would.

sanji

three kids with one on the way. sanji being the lover boy he is you already know how those kids came about. a little backstory, you joined the crew before the timeskip, and before you were separated you two had made love for the first time. you didn’t find out you were pregnant until afterwards. so you two had a child early on then they just wouldn’t stop coming. you’re tempted to punch him in the dick while he’s not looking to stop him for impregnating you but that sounds like too much work and whining.

nami

you two adopt a cat then later on one kid. nami was already eh about marrying you because she knew that’d be money and with you both being girls she was cautious. but then she saw how well and happy you were and wanted to expand on your little family.

robin

no kids. not because she doesn’t like them, we all know how she acts with chopper. but just because she wants to give all her love and attention to you and doesn’t want you to feel like you have to share. plus she likes having you all to herself.

usopp

two kids. he likes to call them his own little crew. you already know usopp and his stretching the truth ways, he tells your kids all the stories and adventures that we went on but he adds a little spice to it. the great captain usopp!

law

two kids. first born is a girl and second born is a boy. he didn’t think he’d have his hands full. i mean come on law they are kids, the literal definition of handful, here’s why. one day when you all docked on an island for some fresh air he was watching the two of them while you were napping and your daughter found a devil fruit and ate it. she knew what it was and was actually excited to see what ability she’d get. she could basically turn her whole body into mist, so when ever she’d want to exit a conversation she’d just disappear. law got a stern talking too by you that night.

kid

your story started off sad. you two weren’t even trying for a kid but then you ended up pregnant and right when you two were getting used to the idea you get kidnapped and due to the stress you end up having a miscarriage. kid for a while blamed himself and refused to even touch you but you had to remind him that sometimes things happen. a few years passed and you got pregnant again. when kid found out he was so excited and literally kept you in a bubble outside of the ship, or he quite literally kept you in your room to keep you safe. he even had killer watch you sometimes.

[xoxobuckybarnes]

August 2024 Reading List

Complete

War & Peace and the Redemption of Bucky Barnes (Rated: E, Words: 51K) by ThePirateStorm / @fsbc-librarian

Summary: Bucky Barnes is running from his problems. He’s housesitting for his best friend while she’s on her honeymoon - the almost a year prior that he’s been staying in her house doesn’t count - when he’s woken in the middle of the night by an angel and a demon. Okay, maybe they’re not a literal angel and demon, but Steve Rogers *looks* like an angel, and his daughter Charli certainly *acts* like a demon. The father/daughter duo are running from their own problems, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t crash headlong into one another’s lives. Throw in a cursed book for good measure, and it’s about to get a whole lot more interesting.

Sleep, Baby (Rated: E, Words: 4K) by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy (hutchabelle)

Summary: Have a baby, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. And it is, but it’s also the most bone-crushingly tiring thing in the world. Bucky needs a nap, coffee, and sex, but his baby WILL NOT SLEEP! He should have known his husband always has a plan, especially on Valentine's Day. Written for the Hell Yeah Bottom Bucky Valentines Exchange.

Winter's Children (Rated: E, Words: 66K) by Neery

Summary: When their attempts to recreate the super soldier serum failed, Hydra started trying to breed Captain America clones from his genetic samples. Unfortunately, the serum's effects aren't passed down genetically, so instead of an army of tiny Captain Americas, they get a bunch of tow-headed, asthmatic, allergic, immuno-compromised little Steves. And then the Winter Soldier stumbles across Hydra's failed experiment...

tin cans with string (Rated: T, Words: 22K) by Somanywords / @somanywords

Summary: Bucky’s mother was looking at him knowingly, and she pulled out a chair for him, which he climbed into gratefully. “You’re an only child, aren’t you, Steve?” “Yes Ma’am.” “It ever gets to be too much for you, you just excuse yourself and come sit in the kitchen a minute. It’s a little noisy with the baby at times, but other than that you can catch a breath.” Steve looked up at her gratefully. She understood, and having someone understand was the best thing in the world. --an exploration of mothers, and of one that isn’t yours.

Where You Lead, I Will Follow (Rated: T, Words: 11K) by attackofthezee (noxlunate)

Summary: When Steve was sixteen years old Peggy Carter had placed a tiny, blonde six pound, three ounce bundle into Steve’s arms. She’d kissed the top of Carter’s head, kissed Steve’s cheek and said “I can’t do this.” with such strength and conviction that Steve hadn’t even questioned her. “I know.” Steve had said, shifting Carter to rest against his chest, a hand on her bottom and the other cupping her tiny, soft head. “But I can.” AKA it's a Gilmore Girls AU and Steve loves his kid, Bucky, Stars Hollow, and coffee. In that order.

Seahorses (Rated: E, Words: 31K) by poppyfields13 & tinzelda

Summary: Now that Bucky’s taken over the role of Captain America, Steve feels like it’s finally the time to start a family. Bucky doesn’t know what to feel when Steve breaks the news he’s going to adopt a baby. He wants Steve to be happy, but he’s worried it will affect their friendship. Once Steve becomes a dad though, Bucky can’t help falling in love with the baby. And maybe Steve will finally see Bucky in a different light.

Loves Me Like A Rock (Rated: T, Words: 4K) by musette22 / @musette22

Summary: “You’re not that bad, Steve,” Sarah reassures him, though she can’t be entirely sure. “I’m sure you must’ve gotten a little better at flirting since your high school days?” Steve makes a face. “What on earth would give you that idea?” “Well,” Sarah says, reaching over to give Steve's hand a consoling pat, “you have other qualities, my darling.” “Such as?” “You could out-stubborn a donkey,” she answers, without missing a beat. “You’ve got a decent singing voice, too. Dogs love you.” Steve huffs. “Gee, thanks, ma. That's really helpful.”

A Wedding to Remember (Rated: E, Words: 19K) by SucculentHyena

Summary: It’s Becca’s wedding, her happiest day. Bucky just wants it to go as planned. And it does! Repeatedly.

Five Times Bucky Modelled For Steve (Rated: T, Words: 8K) by Selenay

Summary: The first time Steve drew Bucky, he had purple hair like something out of a cartoon. "I don't have a brown," Steve said when he got to Bucky's hair. "Sorry. It got broken."

sharing beds like little kids (Rated: M, Words: 17K) by tesselated

Summary: Steve and Bucky are childhood best friends who get separated when they're thirteen and Steve moves away. Five years later, they see each other at a party. ++ It seemed to Bucky that there had to be a certain all-encompassing awkwardness in going up to the guy you loved best when you were twelve and saying “Hey buddy, remember me?”

Love Thy Neighbor (Rated: M, Words: 7K) by hermionesmydawg / @anthonystan

Summary: Bucky Barnes has a few problems with his new neighbor: 1. He's hot 2. He's loud 3. He might be a secret superhero

if your heart's still open (Rated: E, Words: 8K) by steveandbucky

Summary: “What’s wrong, Buck?” “You really gotta ask that?” “Yeah, I do.” Steve clenches his jaw. “You were the one who ended things.”

WIP

Gold Must Be Tried By Fire (Rated: M, Current Words: 28K) by lavenderpanic / @lavenderpanic

Summary: The pamphlets about escaping abuse always glossed over this part, and Bucky finally understands why. Nobody would fucking leave if they knew how hard recovery would be. In the midst of a trial that questions every hard-won truth out of Bucky’s mouth, can he possibly allow himself to heal- physically and mentally? **Sequel to I Am Ash From Your Fire**

The Life of Jamie Barnes (Rated: M, Current Words: 9K) by deadto27 / @deadto27

Summary: The continuing adventures of Steve, Bucky and baby James from the Heart of Mine series through the years.

Rereads

Nothing Good Ever Happens on a Tuesday (Rated: T, Words: 28K) by megs_bee

Summary: Recently discharged soldier James Barnes is back in Brooklyn, down an arm and missing five years of memories, but he’s got his PTSD mostly under control, a fancy metal prosthetic, and what’s starting to feel like it could be a half-decent life. What he doesn’t have is any memory of the kid looking at James and asking him, “Are you my daddy?” -- or the gorgeous blond guy standing next to her. Steve Rogers lost his best friend Bucky five years ago, with no warning and no answers when he tried to find out what happened. So it was one hell of a surprise to walk into the grocery store one afternoon and come face to face with the man he thought was dead.

Prince Charming (Rated: E, Words: 55K) by Brenda / @brendaonao3

Summary: Bucky Barnes leads quite the charmed life. He has a thriving tattoo shop, a son he adores, the world’s best dogs, and a great group of friends — almost all of whom are in relationships. And maybe he'd been the one nudging them towards each other, but there's nothing wrong with a little match-making. The world could use more romance. As for him personally, well, he doesn’t need anyone for the long haul. Not when every girl he meets is someone who he thinks would be perfect for someone else. But then Steve Rogers comes into his shop looking for some ink, and maybe that’s the problem right there. Maybe what he's looking for in a relationship isn't a girl at all.

[friendly-neighborhood-boricua]

[4] Liam and James Make You A Birthday Gift

Summary: Inspired by his birthday party at school, Liam goes to James for help with your birthday present.

Notes: Marauders modern elementary school AU, kindergarten teacher!James Potter x nurse!reader, mom!reader x son!OC (Liam). Sorta weirdly angsty? Idk how that happened. Vague mention of parental death, grieving.

A/N (27/6/24): Guys just don't believe me when I say I'll update regularly lmao it's never gonna happen. Tried to upload this last night but I literally fell asleep lmao so this is semi edited

Previous Part: Career Fair Next Part: James Takes Liam to School Series Masterlist here

Look.

We all know that James is the best kindergarten teacher at his school.

His students’ test scores always improve through the year

Their standardized test results are exactly where they should be for the grade level, if not higher

And the kids themselves love him

But in order to keep his kids happy and engaged and eager to learn, he sometimes has to … shall we say bend the rules …

Just a teensy weensy bit

A little bit

A tiiiiiiny bit

At the beginning of the year, James told the class that if they were well-behaved by the time that each of their birthdays came around, he would throw a small birthday party for each of them

And let me tell you

The kids were thrilled

James quickly set a few ground rules for the kids (because the admin at his school is stupid and ScHOoL pArTiEs cAnT bE hELd wiThOUt adMiNiStrATivE pErMiSSiOn so he had to be kinda careful)

NUMBER ONE (more for him than them)

James checked each of his students’ allergy records in the school database to figure out what treats he could bring to school 

You know, without sending anyone into anaphylactic shock and probably getting sued in the process

and NUMBER TWO

Everyone must thank Mr. Black at the front desk on the day of each party

(Sirius would help James smuggle treats into his room for these parties, so James figured it’d be nice to have them say thank you)

Honestly, James enjoyed these parties just as much as the kids

Even the planning part was fun for him

About a week before a kid’s birthday, he’d ask them what treat they wanted for their party

Some kids *cough* draco *cough* want a bunch of super-sugary Halloween-type candy

(James gets them reduced sugar and sugar-free knock-off brands for Draco's birthday because he doesn’t think he can handle nineteen sugar-high kids all at once)

Others want to have a pizza party or order from a nearby restaurant

Sweet little Dean just wanted Fig Newtons lmaooo

(James bought an extra pack for her to take home)

But each and every time, no matter what they want, James makes it happen

Liam’s birthday is on January 2nd, which is over winter break

Which is a shame because James was really excited to celebrate it on the day of

Usually with kids who have birthdays in the summer, he celebrates their half-birthday

But that won’t work for Liam obviously bc his half-birthday is in the summer

So James just decides to celebrate Liam’s birthday when they get back from winter break

Before winter break, however, James asks Liam what treat he wants for his party

And Liam

Sweet summer child

Liam says he’d really like some home-made oatmeal raisin cookies

Like

What.

What the fuck kind of answer is that??

For a sIX YEAR OLD

WHAT.

This fucking child is somehow like ninety years old and six at the same fucking time

James’ utter bafflement must have been visible on his face because Liam explains himself pretty quick

And James’ heart breaks when Liam tells him that his grandma died when he was really young but his mom tells him all the time that her mom’s oatmeal raisin cookies were the best thing ever

Apparently every time you try to recreate them for Liam, some disaster happens and you’re unable to finish 

(i.e. you’re called into work and have to take the cookies out of the oven half-baked so the house doesn’t burn down, you and Liam take a nap while the cookies are baking and almost actually burn the house down, Liam accidentally gave you the salt rather than the sugar, etc.)

And Liam just really wants to try good oatmeal raisin cookies

He’s had them from a box from the grocery store before, and they’re not bad (it kinda surprises James that he liked them at all, but then he remembers who exactly he’s talking to lol), but Liam wants to try some good home-made oatmeal raisin cookies

And maybe bring one home for his mom

And FURTHERMORE, Liam is plenty aware that no child in a million years besides him actually enjoys oatmeal raisin cookies

So he asks for chocolate chip for the rest of the class so they get something they’ll actually enjoy

James is just kinda speechless at first

Like you can hear him just blinking down at this sweet, kind, selfless little six-year-old

And slowly he nods, and the bell rings to signify the end of the day (and semester since it’s the last day of school before winter break)

Poor James is practically catatonic as he gets his kids on their busses and in cars home, then packs his own things and finally makes his way to the library to get Remus and Sirius

And they both know something’s up immediately

After some gentle prodding (and Sirius outright refusing to leave the school library until James tells them what was wrong), James tells them what happened

(Remus and Sirius aren’t quite sure what the big deal is until James explains further)

James’ parents died during his second year at university, and he was horribly torn up about it for years after

Still is, sometimes

He was always terribly close with his parents, and they would always do anything—anything—for their James

(Including practically adopt Sirius during high school)

And now, thinking about Liam’s grandmother dying when he was young, all James could think about was you

James couldn’t imagine you’re any older than him, and he’s twenty-four, which means you had Liam young

And if Liam’s grandmother—your mother—had died when Liam was young, that meant you were left to take care of a baby all on your own at—what, twenty years old? Nineteen? All while going to university to become a nurse, and then actually becoming a nurse after that, long shifts and heavy workloads and all

The thought made James’ heart ache terribly in his chest

That night, James spends nearly two hours searching for different oatmeal raisin cookie recipes

He plans to do trials 

A competition of sorts with Sirius and Remus serving as judges

Because James is DETERMINED to bake the best homemade oatmeal raisin cookie Liam will ever have

(He’s sort of nervous for you to eat one, but he figures even if it isn’t as good as your mother’s, it hopefully won’t be awful)

James, Sirius, and Remus’ holiday celebrations only really extend to sleeping over on Christmas Eve at Remus’ mother’s house, which is only a couple blocks away

So James spends every day of winter break baking a new cookie recipe and shoving cookies down Remus’ and Sirius’ throats

But by the beginning of second semester, James has crafted the perfect oatmeal raisin cookie recipe

(It was rather simple, actually, and the “secret ingredient” was more of a secret process than anything; James used only brown sugar rather than a mix of brown and granulated, added some cinnamon, and put the balls of dough in the freezer for twenty minutes before baking so they would be nice and chewy)

James decides to hold Liam’s party at the end of the first week back at school

(Just to make sure the kids know they’ve got to go back to learning)

And Liam’s party goes swimmingly!! (ofc)

James brought chocolate chips, as promised

But he was terribly proud of his oatmeal raisin cookies, so he brought enough for the whole class as well

And holy shit

James never thought it could be done

But EVERY SINGLE KID in that classroom was eating oatmeal raisin cookies like there was no tomorrow

Like

James tried to make sure there was a cookie left at the end for Liam to take home to you

But he couldn’t keep them out of these kids’ grubby little paws and they ended up eating them all :(((((((((

James is really sad when he notices

He hadn’t quite realized just how much he wanted you to try his cookies but now he’s really disappointed

And poor Liam :((((((

Poor baby Liam is also pretty put out by it, James can tell

James apologizes to Liam about it

Liam says it’s fine, but James sees right through it

He gives Liam a big hug at the end of the day as well as another apology

(And a lollipop, but secretly so the other kids don’t ask for one too)

A month passes, and everything’s pretty normal

Until one weekend in early February, James hears knocking on his apartment door

He’d been grading, and Remus and Sirius were over to hang about and chat

James wasn’t expecting anyone else to arrive so he’s pretty confused

But he answers anyway

(Let's be honest here people, James would be the first to be killed in a horror movie)

Thankfully Jason doesn’t murder James on his doorstep

Instead (and very surprisingly) it’s Liam who’s standing anxiously at James’ front door

Immediately, James thinks the worst

Did something happen to Liam? Are you home? Did something happen to you?

James is immediately crouched in front of Liam, eye level, asking him what he needs

And Liam anxiously stutters out that he needs help

With what? you may ask

Well, my dear reader

Liam needs help making homemade oatmeal raisin cookies

For his mom

For her birthday

LIAM ISTG—ASDKFJHLWN

YOUR SON IS SUCH A SWEETHEART

AND JAMES CANNOT GET OVER IT

(He’s also super relieved bc he was real scared for a second that something terrible had happened)

So Liam and James and Remus and Sirius (who Liam knows as Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black from school) all get to work making homemade oatmeal raisin cookies for you for your birthday

Liam explains that you’re working a twelve-hour shift and a couple hours of overtime on top of that, so you set him up with Ms. Hope (Remus’ mom, who watches him often)

Apparently Liam asked her if he could go to James’ apartment to ask if he could bake oatmeal raisin cookies for his mom, and Ms. Hope said yes

(Remus quickly calls his mother to reassure her that Liam arrived safe and sound and is currently baking with them, just so she doesn’t worry herself)

Liam also informs James, Remus, and Sirius that he’s supposed to be staying at Ms. Hope’s house until tomorrow morning, when you’ll pick him up

Ms. Hope insisted that you leave Liam with her and not worry about him, if just for the night

The four boys have a blast for the next three hours or so, baking far too many batches of cookies and then finding a nice gift bag to put them in

James also gets some stray craft supplies (he keeps it around in case he runs out at school) and everyone makes their own birthday cards for you

Harry goes back to Ms. Hope’s just in time for dinner, which James, Sirius, and Remus join them for, much to Ms. Hope’s excitement

The evening is just terribly fun for all of them

Fast forward to the next day and you’re rushing to look semi-presentable to go get Liam from Ms. Hope’s house

The doorbell rings, and you’re cursing internally because you’re already fifteen minutes late

You got home so late at night that it was actually early in the morning, and you’d overslept

And now there’s another thing to deal with at the door

James’ eyebrows raise slightly at the force with which you wrench open the door, and he’s a little concerned that you’ll be displeased at what he’s done

But you realize who it is (Liam) and who he’s with (James) and all the tension in your shoulders melts back

Liam is immediately all over you, wishing you a happy birthday with a big hug and a wet kiss to your cheek and resting his head on your shoulder when you pick him up

You’re completely thrilled to see him

(If immensely confused about why your son's teacher is also on your doorstep with a rather large gift bag)

James smiles sheepishly, but he’s reassured by your smile as you say good morning

So he explains the whoooooole story with you pitching in here and there

Until finally he gets to the fact that he and Liam (and Remus and Sirius ofc) have made you oatmeal raisin cookies

At this point, James is pretty certain that you can’t do much to endear him further to you

But you’ve got the most lovely way of proving him wrong when he begins to think like that because the way your eyes light up at the mention of oatmeal raisin cookies makes James want to keep repeating the words over and over so the look never fades from your face

He hands over the gift bag (with another small explanation about the two extra cards and who exactly Sirius and Remus are), wishes you a happy birthday, and politely excuses himself

As much as James loves to be around you and Liam, he knows his place

At the end of the day, he’s still Liam’s kindergarten teacher, and Liam is still your son

So he leaves you and Liam to celebrate your birthday between the two of you

When he gets back to his flat and locks the door behind him, James feels a strange sort of ache settle over his shoulders and seep deep into the cavity of his chest. He swallows around the strange feeling in his throat and takes a deep breath. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. 

Next Part: James Takes Liam to School

[youcouldmakealife]

Sven/Gérard/Yvette; almost home

Another of the Kickstarter fills, for a request for some OG OT3.

“You know,” Blair says. “As a single dude, when your friends start getting married and have kids, usually you start to drift apart.”

Sven blinks at him, feeling slow, as he so often has lately. Blair’s speaking to him, but obviously he’s the married friend with kids in this equation, in which case the single dude is — ah.

“I don’t think we’ve drifted apart,” Sven says, looking over at Gérard. Gérard smiles back, small.

He doesn’t think they’ve drifted apart at all.

“Well, no, you’ve done the exact opposite,” Blair says. “That’s kind of my point.”

“I don’t understand what your point is meant to be,” Sven says.

“Leo?” Blair says. “You want to do that English to Olsen translation for me?”

Gérard smiles again. It looks tired. Sven sympathizes. Empathizes. Whatever the word is.

Usually he’s much better at this, but he hasn’t had an undisturbed night of sleep since little Gerard was born. Well, except on the road, but that’s exhausting in its own way — his first night away from Yvette and the baby, he spent half the night texting her for updates until she told him to sleep so at least someone would.

Sven is a champion sleeper. He’s renowned for it. Or, he was. He misses it. Sleeping in. Lazy mornings in bed. Napping just for the pleasure of it, rather than because it’s the only sleep he can snatch. He knew what he was giving up, but — well, he didn’t know.

“Too tired for translation,” Gérard says.

“Me or you?” Sven asks.

“Both, probably,” Gérard says.

“Okay,” Blair says. “Uh, usually people, you know, quit having shit in common? Instead of uh, literally moving in so they can help take care of the baby? Typically?”

“Well,” Sven says. “Have they considered it? Because I do have to say, it’s significantly easier to handle childcare when you outnumber the baby three to one.”

“Neither of you look like it’s even remotely easy,” Blair says. “Did you sleep at all last night, Cap?”

“I slept six hours,” Sven says. They weren’t all consecutive, but even so, he thinks those are solid numbers for a newborn. “As did Yvette.”

Hers were consecutive, thanks to an eye mask, ear plugs, and a noise machine. He can’t begrudge her any of it; she’s the one at home taking care of little Gerard while they’re here enduring their teammates’ busybodying because the coaching staff is running late. And not just one or two, but all of them. Sven would like to think that implies something scandalous, but most likely they’re in a meeting. He’s glad they don’t have meetings. He doesn’t think he could handle meetings on six hours of sleep. Frankly he doesn’t think he could handle meetings on eight.

Or perhaps they’ve all been fired. Sven hopes that isn’t the case. He likes them, but more importantly, he thinks if he had to adjust strategies right now he might malfunction. He’s learning something new every minute, it feels like. There is no room in his brain.

“That seems like a lot for a baby?” Bowie says. “Sleep,” he adds, when Sven blinks at him. He’s lost the thread again.

“Oh,” Sven says. “Yes. That’s my point.”

“Wait,” Dan says. “How many did Gérard sleep?”

“Seven,” Gérard yawns. His were also not consecutive. He’s an unfortunately light sleeper. He’s managed to adjust on the road, so Sven hopes he’ll be able to adjust to the baby too, but it hasn’t happened yet. But it’s only been a month. It feels much, much longer than that.

“Okay,” Scott says, leaning in, his eyes a little wild. His wife’s due any day, so Sven isn’t surprised. “I don’t know if my wife would agree, but you know what? For six hours of sleep, I’m in. Gérard, what do you charge?”

“You have to name your child after him,” Cary says. “Obviously.”

“I would genuinely consider doing that,” Scott says.

“Aren’t you guys having a girl?” Bowie asks.

“Gerardina,” Scott says. “What do you say, G?”

“That sounds like an STD,” Cary says. “You’d do that to your poor kid?”

“For six hours of sleep a night?” Scott says. “Absolutely.”

“Too bad,” Sven says, reaching a hand out. Gérard’s sitting too far away for him to reach, so he lets his hand hover in the air, hoping Gérard knows that Sven’s wrapped a telepathic arm around his shoulders. He might. Gérard is an exceptional individual. “He’s mine.”

“My wife’s a good cook,” Scott says. “Those two don’t cook, do they?”

Sven stands up, walking over to Gérard’s stall so he can not so telepathically wrap a possessive arm around his shoulders. Gérard leans back into him.

“I cook,” Gérard says.

“Free meals, and I’ll name two kids after you,” Scott says. “First name, middle name, everything.”

Sven tightens his grip.

“I don’t think Sven would be willing to give me up,” Gérard says.

Sven’s glad he knows this.

The coaching staff come in then — not fired en masse, Sven is thankful to see — and everyone jumps up, the few who haven’t changed into their gear hurriedly devoting themselves to the task.

Practice is harder than usual, but easier than conversation. There’s muscle memory to it, the literal practice of hockey, broken down into its bare components. Conversation flows, it changes, he has to adapt. That’s true of hockey too, but moreso during games than in practice. He’s only scored two goals in the past six weeks, but practice, that he can do. It’s almost nice, getting to use his body, to know that everything’s still there, that it still knows what to do, especially after he found his phone in the fridge this morning. He hadn’t even realised it was missing.

“I’ve never been more popular in my life,” Gérard says on the drive back. Sven isn’t a fan of driving at the best of times, so they’ve mutually agreed Gérard should be the one behind the wheel. “Everybody wants to name their kid after me.”

Sven grunts.

“Don’t worry,” Gérard says. “I won’t take Scottie up on his offer. I know you wouldn’t know what to do without me.”

Yvette might — she’s very capable, far more comfortable with everything. She’s tired, but not totally at sea. But Sven?

“I wouldn’t have the first idea,” Sven says honestly.

“Sleep for the rest of the drive,” Gérard says.

“It’s only ten minutes,” Sven says, but he closes his eyes, and doesn’t open them again until Gérard’s gently shaking his shoulder, telling him to come inside.

[inoreuct]

How do unsupervised children react to Zoro's tiger form, and how does Zoro react in turn? 👀

weretiger zoro hcs part 3

lesgo.

i think sanji is very very aware of how dangerous zoro is and that just emphasises how careful zoro is with him,,, when they roughhouse with him in tiger form the most he does is roll around and bat at sanji with his paws and tail and at first sanji was like “do you think i’m that weak marimo tf??” until he saw tiger!zoro wreaking havoc and destruction across the battlefield and he was like oh. yeah ok that’s fine

the first time chopper meets zoro, the swordsman’s in his tiger form and chopper’s honestly terrified bcs predator?? huge predator?? zoro stalks towards him and he squeaks and tries not to move but then zoro just appraises him, gives him the Lick of Approval and ambles off to do who knows what. probably nap again.

and on that note, zoro’s tiger form is huge. absolutely fucking massive. he is longer than sanji is tall. he comes up to nearly above waist height. he could hide chopper inside of his closed mouth.

but somehow kids aren’t scared of him at all. it bewilders him to no end; sanji always gets a good laugh out of his expression when he stands there, slightly taken aback, tail flicking against the ground. zoro doesn’t know if it’s because they’re so young that they just don’t have a sense of self-preservation yet or something but in every damn town they go to, literally every town he steps into in his tiger form, there will be a child that gasps “kitty!!” all delighted and runs up to him completely unafraid. it’s… refreshing, if he’s being honest.

unlike their children, the parents have shown a variety of reactions, ranging from borderline hysterical fits of screaming and crying and trying to cart their child away (zoro just stood there raising an eyebrow in tiger form) to pulling out a loaded shotgun and holding it ready behind their back. and then the kid stops short in front of him, and zoro mentally sighs as he prepares for sticky little fingers in his scruff.

not that they don’t ask; even the most naive child would hesitate before touching a creature with fangs as long as their forearm. sanji always takes that chance to kneel down beside him with a hand on his back, voice kind as he explains to the kid that this is mr. tiger, no, he won’t eat you if you ask before touching him, will you, mr. tiger? and the damn kid turns to him with hopeful eyes.

he always acquiesces. always pretends to topple over and plays dead when they try and tackle him into the dirt. plays tag and chases the kid around in circles until they’re so tuckered out that they drape themselves right over zoro’s back, hugging his neck and giggling weakly. he goes back to the ship with his fur all ruffled and his ears combed within an inch of their lives and the memory of tiny hands waving, soft laughter as the kid calls “goodbye, mr. tiger!” from their doorstep and. it’s nice. to have someone other than his crew who isn’t scared of him.

of course, he has his bad nights. where he thinks about how if those parents knew the things he’d done they would never let their children within an island’s distance of him. sanji has an uncanny knack for telling when he’s gotten stuck in his head and on those nights the cook takes special care to tuck himself tight to zoro’s chest. it’s a blatant display of trust; showing his back, baring his throat to something with too-sharp claws and so many teeth is something zoro would never do. he worries sometimes that sanji is a fool for loving him. but when they’re wrapped in the quiet of one of their bunks, too many limbs in too little space, he can’t help but relax because sanji stays. sanji never takes anything lying down, gives back as good as he gets, calls zoro out on his bullshit when he’s being an ass and he stays. he is warm and soft and strong and beautiful and zoro trusts him implicitly, almost more than he trusts himself.

AND. sanji isn’t the only member of the Zoro Comfort Club. if the crew notices? good luck to him lmao he isn’t allowed to mope anymore. he’s been dragged yowling through the hallways more than once, gently but insistently corralled into the galley and made to lay down so that the rest of them can pile on top of him. it helps. his nakama are idiots, and he loves them.

zoro’s size does come in handy, though; one time when they’re in the middle of a fight, they get separated from luffy and the others and sanji’s hurt pretty badly. there are more enemies looking for them, and despite how much sanji complains about hygiene and stuff zoro actually really takes pride in keeping his coat clean. still, he rolls around in the dirt on the street and squashes the cook flat to the ground; he’s big enough to hide sanji completely and it just so happens that their enemies are looking for a blond and a green-haired swordsman, not a vaguely bedraggled-looking muddy dusty cat thing. they get away undetected and sanji uses up all the hot water getting them both squeaky clean.

his tail is his tell (guess you could call it… a tell-tail sign… i’m sorry i’ll stop). it’s big and fluffy like a feather boa and it has an annoying habit of wrapping around things he likes when he’s not paying attention; he sunbathes by luffy’s side on the deck and it snakes around his captain’s ankle. nami sits on the floor with her maps while zoro’s on the bed and it settles across her shoulders. sanji curls up next to him and it twines around his waist, and he doesn’t notice until he sees his crew smiling at him. most of the times he immediately pulls it away with an embarrassed chuff, but if whoever he’s with is having a tough day he’ll just… leave it. according to the kids, it’s mighty nice to hug.

that’s all,,, for now >:3 shoutout to @redgitanako for enabling my deranged ramblings over dms, you’re golden 😽🫶🏼

part 1 | part 2

[richeeduvie]

Have you ever thought abt if Lalo and Princess’s kid liked nacho more than Lalo? The seething. The anger.

I feel like once the kid is walking and talking that they’d like Nacho because he kinda treats them like a little grown up, and takes them out to do cool big brother type stuff, while Lalo will never stop calling them his bebito and babying them (even when princesa keeps making more ACTUAL babies. When his kids are 30 they’re still gonna be his babies). Not to mention Nacho’s joints are gonna last way longer into this kids lifespan lmao. Lalo probably is regularly pushing it too far trying to prove that he can keep up.

And then there’s that point in every child’s life when they love calling anyone over 20 an old person (EXCEPT mama) and ask really rude questions. I can imagine bebito calling Lalo an old man. Maybe seeing an a photo that has Lalo, Princesa, and Nacho in it and being like “why did mama marry you if you’re sooooo olllllddddd? Why didn’t she marry uncle nacho? He’s not as old, and he’s so nice”. Then Lalo is so quick to throw Nacho under the bus like “Well, bebito, uncle Nacho is bald. Your mama doesn’t like bald guys. And uncle nacho also doesn’t make as much money as your papa—“ and no one is gonna tell Lalo he’s literally dragging one of his employees to a 6 year old.

Nacho all I gotta say is u better be getting them kids socks for Christmas or Lalo’s giving you the gift of cement shoes and going for a swim lmao he can’t handle any more emasculation from his own damned kids

I love everything you said, anon. I love it so much. Nacho is just the fun Uncle, but Lalo would get on it quickly. He'd get mad at the kids but really just put all the blame on Chewtoy aftermath lol

Adding the context of what's going on in Madman right now...this can get so nasty on Lalo's end.

“Why did Mama marry you if you’re soo old? Why didn’t she marry uncle Nacho? He’s not as old, and he’s so nice."

Lalo stares. Nacho does not dare to look anywhere but the floor.

"Uncle Nacho's a nice guy? Yeah. To you, maybe. But he was very mean to Mama once. For a long time, actually."

Bebito blinks and scratches the table before looking to their Uncle. Nacho blinks once before closing his eyes. Putting his mouth behind his hands.

"...Really? Uncle Nacho?"

"Yeah, bebito. Maybe you don't talk on things you don't know about just because Nacho lets you do whatever you want. He made Mama hurt for a long time and you...he pretends to like little babies, my kids - but he plays. Ah."

Lalo looks up and smiles at his friend.

"I'm sure he learned. How about you go wake up Mama from her nap, huh?"

"...Okay."

There's nothing but silence when the little one leaves.

[gabessquishytum]

No sex-ed Dream our beloved 😁 how about the reverse of that last ask? Dream was told as a child that only married couples have babies, and growing up somehow completely missed any evidence to refute that. Even when he later (barely) learns about sex, by the time he’s in college he pretty firmly thinks it’s sex + marriage = babies. He still wanted his first time to be special though, so he’s still a virgin until he starts sleeping with Hob.

When Dream starts having pregnancy symptoms, he simply assumes he caught a bad flu or something. At some point Hob hesitantly brings up the possibility of pregnancy, but Dream just rolls his eyes and says something like that’s impossible, or that he’s pretty sure he would’ve noticed if he was pregnant.

What he’s thinking is “It’s impossible obviously bc we’re not married, and I’m pretty sure I would’ve noticed if we had gotten married, very funny Hob (actually that sounds lovely, but we should probably wait until after graduation)”.

What Hob hears is either “that’s impossible” as in Dream can’t have kids (a bit of a disappointment, but there’s always adoption), or “I would’ve noticed” as in Dream has already checked and confirmed he’s not, maybe he already took a test and it came back negative or he’s on his period, so Hob lets it go, and the nausea quickly goes away anyway and they move on in blissful ignorance (btw if Dream is like me he’s really really bad at tracking his cycles, so he doesn’t even notice that he’s missed a couple months (I’m so bad, if I ever get pregnant missing my period is not how I’m gonna find out 😅)).

If possible for maximum comedy I’d try to keep Dream in denial up until the birth, but Hob will probably bring the subject back up a little more forcefully when Dream starts showing. At first it could be dismissed as a little weight gain (and that’s what Dream definitely thinks it is), but at a certain point it’s clear that that’s a baby bump, it’s literally a baby bump, Dream do you have something you’d like to share???

They finally sit down and clear everything up, then they can both have a little freak out as a treat, that Dream is pregnant, they’re gonna be dads, holy shit they are so behind they need to schedule all the appointments yesterday.

-🪽anon

My love for this au never ends!!!! And I do have a huge soft spot for a Dream who is very obviously pregnant and very much in denial about it. Maybe he insists that Hob has just been feeding him too well! And Hob is staring at the very round very obvious bump (which occasionally ripples as the baby begins to move around and throw punches). Admittedly he likes to keep Dream eating plenty of nutritious meals, but his lasagnes definitely didn't do THAT.

I think deep, deep down Dream knows that he's having a baby, but he's very scared and kind of hoping the whole situation will go away if he ignores it. He still doesn't know HOW he got into this mess. Did him and Hob get married with out realising it? Dream is so confused and anxious and he wants a nine month nap and a hug. Instead he gets a baby (and a boyfriend who loves him very much and is who is NOT going to put his dick inside Dream without a condom for a very, very long time).

Nevertheless, the expectant parents are very very excited!!!! Hob is telling everyone he knows that his boyfriend is pregnant!!!! He's got a lil miracle in his belly!!!! Hob’s gonna be a daddy for real!!!! And Dream pulls off the most beautiful, iconic, celebratory trans pregnancy to the point where the entire campus is invested, and bigots everywhere are drowning in ire and envy.

It's especially nice that their baby, aged around 18 months, gets to be the guest of honour when they do get married. Dream and Hob get a night off from parenting their little one and have a very raunchy consummation of their marriage in their hotel room........ where Dream suggests that now they're actually married, maybe it's time to try for another baby?

Hob takes great pleasure in chucking the condoms out into the corridor. Time to make a baby with his HUSBAND <3

[georgies-ftts]

my genuine thoughts and reactions watching One Piece as someone who has never consumed a different piece of One Piece media before

spoilers… obviously…

Episode 1:

thick glaswegian accent straight away you’ve won me over

this guys moustache is immaculate kinda looks like every version of captain hook ever mushed into one

i recognise the scottish guy

random guy #374’s sideburns are… definitely there

slay drop a bomb before you’re executed horribly

cracker opening theme actually 9/10 should’ve been longer

fourth wall break?

nope he’s talking to a bird

okay funky trouser man you shout into the abyss

this birds got better drip than me

‘Mutiny’ funny actually

he’s not having a good time

what the actual fuck is that ship

aldiva? love of my life?

Koby needs a fresh trim… probably… idk

love me some cheeky windmills

i recognise red hair hat man too

that kids fully gonna die

luffy is fuckin nuts

is he eating… raw??? steak???

australian pink haired harrypotter is about to shit himself

dudes about to get his shit rocked

funky hat man??? is fucking??? elastic

rope burn doesn’t exist in this universe

elastic head is genuinely fuckin horrific

but also slay

think i’m gonna like depressed green hair man

Mr 7 is wearing two ruffs….

‘My favourite is number 1’ fuck him up emotionally i like it

and then fuck him physically this is going grand actually

sword fights that are choreographed immaculately and with fluid camera movements truly do hold a very special place in my heart

oh wait is the luffy kid funky straw hat man

“your mug” yes get that slang in there

wait but luffy has a steady american accent with no twangs

purple orb i’d eat it

oh so would he apparently

what the fuck it’s green

who the fuck is red haired hat man i can’t be bothered to pull up imdb

don’t kill shanks he treats the bar staff with respect

he was in ‘fresh meat’ i found him

he’s so gonna die

i’d slap man bun guy so fuckin hard

luffy needs to like… have a nap or something

woah luffy straight in there with the insults

he had a munch and now he’s a bit bendy

now i recognise koby jesus christ

didn’t need to slap the poor guy jesus

koby is cute i like them

ginger woman floating in the sea

“sweetheart” fucking get rid of them

is she gonna fuck em up

slay queen found a new love of my life and she’s wearing funky socks

‘where’s my face?’ bruvva i could squish your cheeks like a toddler that wall is not for you

it’s green haired sword guy love him

“one for my friend” dude that is a body. in a sack.

it’s ginger sock girl, marry me

blonde british man is gonna catch these fists, sir that is a child leave her alone

lucious malfoy looking ass

yes Zoro (the subtitles are the only reason i know what’s goi-)

did he just eat that off the floor.

blonde british man is fucking terrifying

another sword fight???????

kolby you are me actually

fuck them up fuck them up fuck them up

i’m a lesbian but i do think green haired man just turned me bisexual

“my father” jesus fuckin christ they hired draco malfoy

like the rum???

jesus christ daddy’s boy needs a fuckin gag or some shit

i want Zoro’s earrings please

why does this man have a metal plate bolted into his face

“where does it even go” i think you know

koby realising not everything that’s made out to be ‘good’ is always good slay, we love a little bit of depth

i love a cgi sewer pipe

jesus chrrriiiiiiist draco malfoy is back

kick him in the balls

“when i get down” dude you are literally half on the floor already….

my wife ginger socks girl is back everything is good

she’s gone again, devastated

luffy kinda has the percy jackson cockiness yknow?

luffy 10/10 would do a phycology gcse

fucking english bastards ruining everything

it’s fine she fucked em up again

what is the grand line may i ask

her eyes are stunning

i think she just shat herself

draco malfoy needs to go what the-

that’s his bare arse

chop his dick off

please

i beg you

i think luffy just wants some friends

she’s a pickpocket too holy fuck-

“i’m never joining” yuh huh sure

why’s she searching the papers on the desk surely they would be in a draw or some shit or like a secret message or something

win for luffy

153rd marines really doesn’t sound all that threatening

so he’s like… hench as fuck too?

protect the hat luffy as you should

green haired man’s just pitched up c’mon

slay, literally and figuratively

is he wearing zebra trousers?

not where i thought the sword went…

yeaaahhh fuck him up

that kick was fucking immaculate

so green man is also fuckin hench???

oi listen to the queen

HA MALFOYS HAIR REMINDS ME OF MY WEIRD BARBIE

zoro smiled that’s it life is good

KOBY MY SON

koby no don’t

okay koby you slay love you

you keep them massive fuck off glasses safe

do they meet again? please tell my they meet again and they both live and are happy i will cry-

ooo action music my favourite kind of tv music

what the fuck is that snail and why is it also a phone

SCOTTISH MAN IS BACK

they took your mum actually

a pirate in a straw hat who’s skin is made of rubber thankyou

ooo new emo green haired man

they infact we’re not planning anything ever

that’s that one guy from agents of shield

jesus he’s fuckin creepy

oh that’s terrifying actually

FUCKIN TUNE

[sabo-has-my-heart]

hi! I’ve just found this blog! I’m getting back to one piece after a long time and was wondering if I could please ask for an Izou, Ace and Marco HC’s?

So you know how Luffy idolised shanks a the red hair pirates as a kid? How about the mentioned three with a little girl who’s maybe the daughter/granddaughter of the bar owner and sees them quite often (maybe the island belongs to whiteboard) and is always excitedly following them around when they visit. How about her saying she’ll become a big brave pirate and wants to marry them once she’s old enough? Like a little girl crush maybe?

If you’re not comfortable with the crush then her being a big fan of them is fine! Thank you!

This is so cute! Just this adorable little girl with her little girl crush like kids do sometimes (I know I had one). As a note, just because she has a childish crush, does not mean that this is romantic in any way nor do I condone such things!

Warnings: slight Wano spoilers, little girl crushes

Word Count: 690

     Every time you saw their ship on the horizon, you couldn’t help but become giddy. He was coming, he was almost here, you’d get to see him again! Your ‘first crush’ as everyone called him. You were insistent that you were going to marry him though! You weren’t just a stupid kid! You were going to be one of the biggest, bravest pirates out there. You were going to become so great that Whitebeard would have no choice but to change his ‘only guys’ rule and allow you to be on his crew! Then once you were on his ship you were going to marry your love! Until then, you’d greet them at the docks, running towards their ship as fast as your little 10-year-old legs would allow.

Izou

100% thinks of you as a kid sister.

He thinks you’re the most adorable little girl ever.

Just so sweet and cute.

If he were the kind of person who ruffles hair, he’d totally ruffle your hair.

Instead he dresses you up in nice kimonos. 

You’d wanted to dress like him so you’d tried wrapping a bed sheet around yourself.

He’d chuckled and helped you out, saying that next time he’d bring you a real kimono. 

Said you looked like a little doll once you were dressed up and in make-up. 

When you’re not around, he asks if there’s any little boys interested in you. 

Partially to protect you and partially so you become interested in somebody your own age (seriously, he’s 43 pre Marineford!)

Still encourages you to follow your dreams, whether that’s becoming a pirate or simply protecting those you love. 

Tells you all sorts of stories about Wano, his sister, Oden, and the other samurai.

Also tells you a lot of Wano fairytales.

Has taught you how to shoot. 

Seriously, he cares about you, you’re like family to him.

Marco

Tries, repeatedly, to tell you you’re too young for marriage (and too young for him, cough cough) or to be thinking about marriage.

Lots of head pats.

Indulges you and lets you play nurse.

You do actually help him when they dock.

You help him with organizing things, restocking, and ‘bandaid duty’.

You literally just hand out bandaids to people who ‘need’ them. 

Being the adorable little girl who follows him around, he’s noticed a lot more people needing bandaids while they’re at your island. 

Has let you curl up for a nap while he was in phoenix form. 

Niece-uncle vibes. 

Always sighs in exasperation when you say you’re going to marry him no matter what.

He doesn’t want to crush you, but he doesn’t want to indulge that either.

Tells you that being a pirate is hard work and tries to encourage other things while not crushing your dream to become a pirate. 

He wouldn’t mind if you became a pirate, but for safety reasons, he’d rather you take over your mother’s bar.

Because of his phoenix form, people call you his ‘duckling’.

Ace

Omg, ALL the big brother vibes!

Calls you his little sister, ruffles your hair, just so much big brother shit!

It makes you pout. He’s treating you like a kid!

You’re his future wife, how dare he treat you like a child!

You claiming to be a big, brave pirate reminds him of Luffy.

He absolutely encourages it and says that you’ll totally be accepted onto Whitebeard's crew

Knows you likely won’t

Plays pirates with you so long as you don’t pretend he’s your ‘pirate husband’. 

Defends his decision to play with you by saying that he doesn’t want to crush your dreams

Which is kind of true, but he also loves being a big brother to you. 

Is the least strange of the three to say you want to marry him. (he’s 20, not 40)

Still doesn’t want to indulge the idea of getting married though.

For so many reasons.

Tells you so many stories about Luffy.

Calls Luffy your ‘other big brother’.

Treats you kind of like how he treated Tama.

Teaches you all sorts of things like tying knots, navigation, etc. things you’ll need to become a pirate. 

[onegianthotmess]

Ikemen Vampire Rants:

👨‍👧Small Parent Headcanons👨‍👦

Not really full family headcanons, more so what kind of dad they are. And bear with me a bit, babes, because I haven’t gone through all of the routes yet, and if we’re gonna get specific I’m on my third route.

Basically, I haven’t gotten to know each of the suitors fully save for two, who routes I’ve already completed, so please forgive me if some of the characters are a little OOC!

Napoleon Bonaparte

Both a girl and boy dad

He most likely would have two sons and one daughter, who’d be the youngest

Very supportive dad, wants his kids to be happy and enjoy what they end up doing in life

Would teach his children the value of things and to appreciate what they have, but also encourage them to be ambitious with their dreams and try to reach for the stars when they really find something they’re interested in

(Remember that this man was one of the oldest out of eight children, so he knows how to handle kiddies)

He’d teach all of his children basic swordsmanship and self defense with Jean, especially his daughter

Definitely a bit overprotective of all of his children

Always glares at any partner that is brought home and makes it clear that any mistreatment from either his child or their partner would not be tolerated in the slightest

After that and if he gets along with his child’s partner, he’s definitely the favorite in law

His title is literally “The Charismatic Leader* in the game

And his children have most likely inherited at least a little of his unintentionally charming and charismatic aura

Overall, very supportive and loving father who is firm when he needs to be and tries his best to communicate with his children

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

A girl and boy dad

He’d just have two, one boy and one girl that are most likely twins

Struggles a bit when it comes to bonding with anything outside of music and struggles a bit with feelings

I feel like he’d find it easier to talk with his son a bit more when it comes to emotions because girls tend to have more complex emotions and mature much faster then boys

But, most of his struggles would come early and they’d be over by the time the twins are a little older, and then new struggles show up with them maturing and then the process starts again

Glares at any significant others that are brought home and threatens them to make sure they have good intentions with his child

Doesn’t really warm up to any significant others until the engagement/marriage stage

But he’ll be happy as long as his children are happy

Really he’s a stern dad who just needs a bit of help to show his children how much he really loves them

He tries his best, but he occasionally needs a little push in the right direction

He just can’t really articulate how much he loves his children with anything other than music

Leonardo da Vinci

My big sleepy cat man is definitely a girl dad

Would probably have three daughters and they’re all either triplets or they’re each a year or two apart

And they’re all most definitely Purebloods

And fatherhood is definitely one of the very few things the great Renaissance Man has never experienced

Yes, he’s been around children, but he’s never raised any of his own

But he takes to it pretty naturally after holding his first daughter

He’s put in charge of teaching his daughters everything along with the occasional guest appearance of Isaac

And if they want to learn something that Leonardo surprisingly doesn’t know, like a specific language or obscure subject, he’ll sit down with them surrounded by books and begin researching before looking up at the clock and realizing that it’s time for dinner when they could’ve sworn it was just after breakfast five minutes ago

Many days have gone by quickly with the four of them buried in books in the library trying to learn something new

Leonardo also naps with his little girls, especially when they’re babies

He mostly sticks to the bed though so that they won’t fall or get hurt

He only starts napping in his usual random places like the floor or under the dining room table or in le Comte’s shed in the garden when they’re a bit older and able to move around more safely

And Leonardo is a pretty chill dad, lets his girls have independence and do what they want so long as they’re safe and it’s within reason

Wants them to find love and be happy, not just have children and marry just to produce more Pureblood Vampires

He knows when to be stern, when to be lax, when to have fun, and when to be serious with his girls

Overall, great papa who will be an amazing teacher to his girls, but he’ll probably end up dragging them into some situations that they somehow don’t get arrested in

Arthur Canon Doyle

This lovely man is a boy and girl dad

Three children, two girls with one boy in the middle, all three being happy accident babies

He was terrified inside due to his past traumas coming back to haunt him, so many nights were spent with his wife reassuring him

Definitely freaked out when his first child came, but after yelling from his wife and a couple backhanded slaps from Theo for him to get his shit together, doctor mode was activated

And when his daughter was born he instantly fell in love with her and now over protective daddy mode was forever activated

He tried to not get too sucked into his writing as he can do so he can spend time with his children and help take care of them

Teaches them to spot the little details in things but gets mad when they point out his subtle innuendos and lack of sleep and excessive coffee intake

Arthur’s wit and flirtatious energy will most likely rub off on at least one of his children and he’ll be mortified when one of them brings home their significant other because it hits him then that his babies are growing up

He cries to his wife later that night about it because he doesn’t want to let go of his babies that used to fit so snugly in his arms

But once that grief passes, Arthur has the time of his life relaying embarrassing stories and the like to his new son/daughter-in-law while his child sits there mortified and screaming at him to stop while his wife is calmly trying to get him to shut his big mouth

“They may be a charmer, but they also used to wear their spare nappies as a hat when they were starting to walk!” / “OH MY GOD! DAD, JUST STFU!” / “Arthur, that’s enough. Our child is about to pass out from how red their face is…”

Yeah, he went on for another hour before his wife had to catch a book their child threw at him and then he stopped

He is supportive of his children and encourages them to be ambitious, but also within reason with what they want

And he stresses the importance of having your name be known along with your work as many people didn’t know who he was and thought his famous character Sherlock Holmes was a real person and he got letters addressed to Holmes

Overall, Arthur is a loving and supportive father who’s incredibly witty and playful with his children when appropriate

Vincent van Gogh

Our sweet sunshine angel is a girl and boy dad

His daughter is probably older than his son by four or five years

Gentle daddy, he can’t get mad at his babies for anything so most sternness comes from his wife

But Vincent isn’t a complete pushover, he will make sure his children know when they’ve done something wrong and give them a talk after their timeout or whatever punishment has been administered about what they did and if they know why it was wrong of them to do that

But, let’s face it, his children are most definitely innocent angels just like him

Vincent will let his children watch him paint or sketch and encourage them to try new things when it comes to art or anything at all

He will also teach them how to defend themselves, with a little help from Napoleon and Jean, since his secret in game is literally that he can destroy anyone in a fight, including Theo

Vincent loves spending time with his wife and children, but he sometimes gets so wrapped up in his paintings that he forgets to take time away from his work to take care of himself and his family

But just one mutter from one of his children quickly pulls him away from his painting and towards some nice family time

In short, Vincent is a very gentle, loving, and affectionate father who loves his children very much and tries his hardest to pull himself out of painting so he can spend a good amount of time with them

Theodorus van Gogh

Another girl and boy dad!

Probably two daughters and a son who’s the youngest

Definitely starts to take a bit more time off from work to spend time with his family when his first child is born

Yeah, the guy is a fucking workaholic, but he loves his family more than anything!

He’ll try to at least spend one hour playing with his children every day he’s off from work as often as he can, but sometimes he needs those off days to sleep

His wife and children definitely try their best to make sure that he’s sleeping and eating and taking care of himself, but he always fears the moment when they’ve had enough and go tell on him to Uncle Vincent, thus ending in Theo looking down at the ground as his brother lectures him about self care

Theo will take his children to work with him on relatively calm days so he can teach them about hard work and the art world at the same time, but he’ll also encourage them to look into things other than art

He’ll also take his children into town with him when it’s time to walk King and they all end up going to the park and playing

He definitely asks Vincent, Jean, and Napoleon to teach his children self defense because he’s usually pretty busy, but he’ll help teach them when he has the time for it

And Theo is the dad who sneaks up at night with his kids to quietly sneak something sweet if the craving strikes and it’s hilarious to see this big intimidating man freeze in place along with his three kids as they’re caught by his wife who is just looking at Theo with an unamused look and waiting for him to come up with an excuse she won’t believe anyway

And that happens at least once a week

Theo also knows how to be firm with his children when needed, but sometimes he gets a little too scary when they mess up big time

(Theo actually made each of his children wet themselves out of fear, due to him being scary while scolding them, once when they all got into big trouble and he felt awful for a month afterwards)

Theo doesn’t like having his children be afraid of him, so on the rare occasion when he scares them too bad, he won’t talk to them for about a week and try to not glance at them because he feels so awful that they’re scared of him

But a quick hug makes that go away real quick

Overall, Theo is a very loving and diligent father who knows how to be firm when he needs to be and who needs to learn how to take care of himself before his children tell on him to Uncle Vincent or plant Lumière in his room for him to find as punishment

Osamu Dazai

My window mans is definitely a girl dad

He’d have just one daughter and she’d be his princess

And she’d end up being a bit of a menace to society because, hello, Dazai is her father

He’d want her to be very happy and do things she likes, but he’d also want her to know when to act appropriately

Sort of ironic since he uses windows more than doors and teases Isaac much like an older brother would his siblings

Dazai would definitely write short stories for his daughter and they’d become her favorite bedtime stories, probably because they were catered and written specifically for her

Dazai would definitely love having fun with his daughter and making her laugh and smile, but he’d also enjoy the quiet and serene moments where he can relax and let his clown façade drop and show what he’s really feeling around his baby girl

His daughter would definitely make him mellow out a bit more in terms of teasing because he doesn’t want her to end up teasing everyone she meets and being perceived as mean by both adults and other children

Dazai would also try and gently push his daughter to try new things and hobbies, he’d just want her to have options when it comes to what she’d like to do in life

He’d like her to find just the right thing for her to do and enjoy and he’d support her through anything she’d eventually choose

Overall, Dazai is a very fun and silly dad who occasionally drops his goofy mask to show how much he really loves his baby girl in private

Isaac Newton

I feel like he’s a girl and boy dad

One daughter, one son, they’re probably twins or a year apart

Isaac spent most of his life as a human alone and, while he teaches with Napoleon sometimes, he’s not the most experienced with children

He does try to learn as much as possible about babies and children while his wife is pregnant, but he feels woefully unprepared when his children are born and panics a bit

But he’s somehow a natural once one of them is placed in his arms???

Like it just clicks for him somehow?

He knows what to do when they cry, need to be fed when his wife isn’t there, when they need to be changed, etc.

Isaac will start teaching his children at a very young age out of pure habit

“Now, with all of the prior information in mind, how would you most quickly and efficiently solve this equation?”

“Isaac, honey, our children just learned how to sit up by themselves, they’re too young for calculus…”

And he’ll stop trying to teach them subjects that are far beyond the small mind of a six month old infant

For like a week and then he’s back to his habits

“Now for the conjugation of the following verbs.”

“Isaac, they haven’t even said their first words, they’re way too young to start learning Latin…”

But both his son and daughter speak English, French, and Latin fluently by the age of three, so-

Isaac will try to not get so sucked into his work that he forgets to spend time with his children, he doesn’t want them to view him as a distant father who doesn’t care about them

He will allow them to tag along to his job at the local university to watch him teach when they’re old enough (which is around age five since they’re both so quiet and polite)

He’ll definitely try to step in when Dazai or Arthur tease his children a little, it usually turns into Isaac getting teased, but it’s the thought that counts

He’ll spend time with his children when he takes breaks, often not understanding their imaginative games and make believe they play with their toys, but he’d be very good at doing puzzles with them and building things out of wooden blocks

Isaac has definitely had to scoop Harry up a good few times so his children wouldn’t accidentally get pricked by him

But it’s bound to happen since they’re his children, thus making them curious by nature

Basically, Isaac is a very shy father who panics a bit at first, but he gets better as time goes on

Jean d’Arc

Insecure babie boy is a girl dad

He’s have two incredibly beautiful twin daughters and be a panicked wreck about it

Jean is incredibly insecure and nervous in the beginning

He viewed himself as a disgusting, dirty, unholy monster who hardly even deserved the time his wife gave him during the day and now he passed down his tainted blood to two innocent little ones who didn’t even have a say in the matter?

Yeah, he was nervous for the entirety of his wife’s pregnancy and didn’t even feel he deserved to look at his daughters, but he completely fell in love when both of them were gently placed in his arms the day they were born

His daughters would from them on be his pride and joy and the only two people he loved as much as his wife

Jean, with Napoleon’s help, would teach his girls the basics of sword fighting at the very least so that they could protect themselves and teach them about honor and morals

Of course he never wanted to have as much self loathing as he once did and he could never imagine his daughters going through those same awful feelings, so he’d remind both of them daily that he loves them and that they’re the purist, most lovely girls in the world

He’d enjoy putting his girls to bed because it meant spending time with them and reminding them of his love right before they go to sleep

Both girls get a kiss on the head and a music box will be playing as Jean reads a book for them if he’s putting the girls to bed alone or he’ll be listening along with the girls as his wife sings if she’s there with them

He’d also enjoy playing with both of his girls, and he actually spends at least an hour a day playing with them and their stuffed animals and dolls no matter how morbid things get with their small child imaginations

Affection would be a bit awkward and stiff at first, but he’d get used to it with time

Pretty much, Jean will start out insecure and panicked but will slowly become more confident in his ability to be a father and enjoy every second of raising his girls

William Shakespeare

I see Will as having just one child, a son

He definitely wouldn’t know how to handle himself or the situation when he is told by his wife that she is pregnant

Definitely goes quiet for a bit before he breaks down a little and needs some reassuring from his wife

His confidence in himself gets a bit better once his son is born

Will definitely leaves most of the early childcare in the hands of his wife and requires her to be by his side whenever he is the one caring for their son

But he definitely gets better once his son starts getting to toddler and child age

He’ll take his son on walks when he’s old enough and regale him lines from some of his plays, altering the endings to make them a little happier because he doesn’t want to see his son sad

It becomes a tradition for Will and his son to sit on the living room sofa and quietly wait for his wife to return home whenever she goes out because they both love her very much

Eventually, Will takes inspiration from his son to write stories, mostly short bedtime stories for him to tell when it’s time to go to sleep

Days out in town are always fun, since Will usually uses them as family time with his wife and son

They’ll go to shops looking at things, buying the occasional small item for their son if he’s been good, and ending by going to the park and watching their son play with other children from afar

Will never thought he’d enjoy being a father as much as he did with his new life, but here he was

He’d definitely get his son a rabbit of his own if he wanted one after playing with Puck a lot

If his son ever did anything bad or broke something, Will would probably leave the scolding to his wife most likely because he would end up scaring his son a bit and Will would never want that to happen

After his son would be sent to a time out, Will would come in and give him a brief but stern talk and tell him what his punishment was

Will wouldn’t like punishing his son very much, but every child needs discipline to learn that there are consequences for their actions

I feel that family game night would be a thing

A few simple card games and some games of chess and checkers in the living room at least one night a week

Spoiler, Will’s wife hasn’t one a single game against the boys and they’re tied for who has the most wins

In short, Will is a loving father who needs a bit of help in the beginning, but becomes a natural after some time

He still hates punishing his son, tho-

Le Comte de Saint-Germain

FANCY RICH BAGUETTE MAN!!!

A boy and girl dad!

Either two sets of twins or quadruplets with two girls and two boys, and they’re all definitely Purebloods

He will spoil tf out of them, but he will be stopped by his wife because they can’t have everything in life

Comte will keep nobility away from his family, he doesn’t want them getting involved with all of that until they’re old enough

He’ll try to spend as much time as he can with them, but sometimes he has to be away for a while and can’t avoid it

But he does play with his children and he’ll play whatever they’d like, be it games or with toys or making something together

He’s already the mom dad of the mansion, so he knows how to discipline his children when needed

And if his stare makes grown men freeze and look down at the ground in shame, you bet your ass that it makes his children hang their heads in shame when they’re being lectured on their bad behavior

But, he isn’t unfair, Comte will tell his children to go to their room and think about what they’ve done before he talks with them again and gives them their real punishment

Back to fun stuff, though!

Trips to town are fun, especially with the whole family

Sometimes it’s shopping, sometimes it’s going out to eat, sometimes it’s playing in the park, or sometimes it’s all three!

Comte loves seeing his children’s eyes light up when he says that they can go to their favorite park in town to play with their friends and some of the animals there

In conclusion, Comte was built to be a father because he already is one to his residents, but he’s even better with actual kids of his own

Sebastian/Akihiko Satou

My favorite history fanboy is a girl and boy dad!

He’d have a son and then probably twin girls a couple years later

Or maybe he’d have more kids because I’m pretty sure he’d thrive on the chaos of multiple children because he literally perfectly balances his duties as a butler to those chaotic historical figures he works for perfectly!

Sebastian is a busy guy, so he’ll most likely not have as much time as he’d like with his children

But he’d relax a bit more after Comte says that he should spend some more time with his children

And after some convincing from his wife, he’d let his children follow him around and help a little bit as he does chores around the mansion

All three of his children have Japanese names that are their real names, but they all have aliases they go by to make them fit in more in Paris

Sebastian definitely teaches his children the value of hard work early on, but also reminds them to not be like him and take a break for once

And he hates that his children and Theo’s children are in cahoots to make sure that their dads learn self care and actually sleep and eat sometimes

Sebastian will take his children into town to run errands and also go to the park for a while if they have the time

He’d always make sure his children go to bed at a proper time and do their little things before going to sleep

I see Sebastian as the type of dad to tuck his kids in and tell them stories or sing a lullaby to them in his mother tongue

But, when it comes to stories, they’re mostly about the residents’s human lives and his wife usually comes into the room around midnight to see Sebastian and their children all awake as he goes into great detail about which resident the children wanted to hear about that night

He’ll teach his children how to be gentle and nice with Lotte so that they can play with her in the garden while he tends to the flowers or hangs up the laundry

The children eventually help with sheering Lotte’s wool and learn how to knit and sew and crochet from Sebastian

He’d definitely be good at getting his children to do arts and crafts projects and he’d enjoy making little things with them as well

Overall, Sebastian is a very loving father who knows how to teach his children right and wrong and how to be responsible in a mansion full of chaotic historical figures

Vlad

Strawberry boy is a girl and boy dad

Just one daughter and one son that are twins

And they’re both definitely Purebloods

I feel he’d be a bit nervous because he’s never raised a child before and he didn’t want to mess up

But his anxieties are quickly eased when he sees both of his children open their eyes

They’re so small and innocent, they deserve a world that’s peaceful and free of strife or killing

And it’s his children that motivate him even more to reach his goal of a peaceful world

Vlad will definitely do his best to spend time with his children and help to take care of them, but he’s a bit clueless on childcare and needs a bit of guidance in the beginning

He’ll enjoy watching his children play in the garden and join them when they ask him to

Oftentimes Vlad will ask his children to come next to him as he’s watering his flowers and he’ll start telling them little facts about the ones he’s watering

He’ll even take his children into town when he goes to work as a florist and he’ll set up his little flower cart next to a park so that his children can play if they get bored but still stay within his line of sight

Vlad will usually put together bouquets to put into his children’s rooms so that they can enjoy the flowers no matter the weather or if they’re not feeling well enough to go outside

When his children misbehave, Vlad will remain calm but have this scary aura about him

He will calmly scold his children and tell them to go to their rooms so that he can think about a proper punishment for them

He knows that his children get pretty scared when they’re in trouble, so he does try to cool off a bit before he talks to them again

Vlad doesn’t like scaring his children, but he can’t just not scold them whenever they misbehave

His wife is usually the one to calm him down and she’ll be with him when he talks to their children again

But Vlad is also the parent who will sneak up at night with his children and raid the strawberries in the kitchen

They’re usually caught by Charles and Vlad’s wife at the same time

Charles is exasperated because he just got more strawberries from the market and Vlad’s wife is upset because her husband and children promised that they wouldn’t raid the strawberries again

This event occurring multiple times a week eventually leads to Vlad’s wife planting a few strawberry bushes around the garden so that there’s always at least some strawberries for Vlad and the kids and so they stop raiding the kitchen most nights

Overall, Vlad loves his children very much and wants them to grow up in his peaceful and nonviolent world

Johann Georg Faust

Faust would just have one son, I don’t see him as having more than one child

He has definitely never cared for a child before, so fatherhood is definitely a new thing he has to get used to

He’s not used to being woken up late at night by crying and he’s annoyed about it at first, but he eventually understands that his child is helpless and depends on him and his wife to survive

After that realization, he isn’t as annoyed about being woken up and he even takes the night shift sometimes, but that just makes it even harder for Charles and his wife to wake him up in the morning

He would definitely teach his son about alchemy when he was old enough

Faust would prefer for his son to not go to school outside of the castle, so he’d ask Vlad if tutors could be paid to come to the castle, even though he’d rather not ask the old goat for anything

Even though he’s usually very busy throughout the day, Faust will try to make time to spend with his son

He will occasionally take him into town to go and walk around or to the park to play with other children

And there’s no doubt that his son has gotten into a bit of trouble with Mephie

I mean, it’s a small monkey and a little boy, there’s going to be some trouble and mischief

But if there’s any ruckus while Faust is researching or experimenting, he will put a stop to it and scold his son

Faust is another parent who does scare his child when he’s angry and he doesn’t mean to

He just gets upset and tells his son to go to his room and sit on his bed until he comes and talks with him

It’ll take a little while for Faust to cool down, but when he does he feels a bit bad he was so harsh because his son is a child, he’s bound to cause a bit of mischief and trouble from time to time

Faust will talk with his son, make sure he knows why what he did was wrong, but he’ll also apologize for scaring him and being too harsh

Overall, Faust is a bit of a distant and scary father, but he does love his son and does his best to try and show it

Charles-Henri Sanson

I’VE BEEN REALLY EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!!!

Okay, Charles is 100% a girl dad

PROVE ME WRONG

I see him having one daughter and maybe another one, but they’re both pretty far apart in age like say seven or eight years

Charles was ANXIOUS to say the least when he found out his lovely wife was pregnant

How could he raise a child when the blood of thousands was on his hands and he was literally nicknamed “the God of Death” while he was human?

He hardly felt deserving of his wife’s unconditional love at times, and now he helped to create a child that was now growing inside of his wife that would love him unconditionally as well?

Yeah, he had to be reassured a lot over the nine month period of his wife’s pregnancy

Labor was also a mess in the beginning

Charles was panicking and had to be smacked by Faust for him to get his shit together and to slip into his doctor mindset

Other than that, the birth went smoothly and Charles immediately fell in love with his baby girl the moment she was placed into his arms

After that, he was whipped for his daughter as much as he was whipped for his wife

He’ll definitely try to spend as much time with his baby girl as possible, caring for her with his wife and playing with her

He’ll have to be calmed down a bit while she’s a baby because he does get a bit too excited at times

But, when his daughter is a bit older, Charles will enjoy anything that has to do with spending time with her

He’ll play with her, cook with her, read to her, whatever she wants to do within reason!

He’ll even start taking her into town to go on walks to enjoy the scenery, to go to cafes every once in a while, and to go to the park when she wants to play with other children

Of course, Charles is always included in these games because children love him

He’s not the best at disciplining his daughter, he loves her almost too much to be upset at her

But, he knows that she’ll need to be disciplined by both him and her mother, so while her mother does the first bit of scolding and sends her to her room for a little while, it will be Charles who goes up to his daughter’s room and talks with her to make sure she knows what she did was wrong and why before giving her her actual punishment that he and his wife deemed fit

And Charles loves having a baby girl so much he and his wife decided to have another child who turned out to be a girl!

The previous headcanons also go for his second daughter, he loves her just as much as his first daughter and his wife

When his older daughter gets to the age where she brings a significant other over, Charles has mixed feelings

He’s happy that she’s happy, but he’s sad that she’s growing up and suspicious of this partner and whether or not they’re actually good enough for her

So Charles is friendly and civil, yes, but also has this eerily too happy aura about him that makes him pretty scary

Overall, Charles loves being a father to his baby girls and is very loving and supportive of them!

Finally done with this after a couple months! I will most likely end up doing descriptions of the children and family life I mentioned in this rant and at least physical descriptions of the suitor’s wives/partners because I’m not just sticking to the appearance of the MC in the game. I’m sorry, but her look is just a bit too boring, despite being a playable character that the player is supposed to insert themselves into in a way. I just feel MC stand ins always have the same look and that it wouldn’t hurt to change it up just a tiny bit and make it a little more interesting like a different hair color OTHER than brown! Just saying!