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avastrasposts · 1 year ago

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The Pilot and his Girl - ch. 18

Finally some good news for our sweet Frankie and his girl, stuck in this nightmare The Last of Us universe that I so cruelly created for them!

Happy Frankie Friday!

Chapter 19

Series Master List

Word count: 6.7k

Warnings have their own post.

Life in the QZ is strange. It’s like living in limbo, it feels like you’re waiting for something but you don’t know what. A return to normal life? Or for this to feel normal? But at the same time there’s an ever present knot of fear in the pit of your belly, that the infection will spread inside the walls, or that the infected will get inside. Sometimes you forget about the knot but then something happens, a loud noise, someone shouting, a gun firing in the distance, and the fear returns. Having Frankie close helps, you always feel safe with him next to you. But you both work, mandatory for all inhabitants in the QZ if you want to eat. So most of the time he’s not by your side and you bite back the fear and try to get on it with.

The first week you try to figure out your role in this new setting, how to talk to people about everyday things while you, and everyone around you, has gone through a type of trauma you couldn’t have even imagined only a few months ago. Your new co-workers all seem to handle the situation differently, some say nothing unless they have to, others never stop talking about what life was like before the outbreak. The worst ones complain about everything, the food, the work, the accommodation, until your supervisor tells them to shut the fuck up and docks their rations cards for the day. You didn’t even know that was a thing so you keep your head down and do your job. You’ve thankfully been put on kitchen duty, your skill as a cook the one thing that was deemed useful in the QZ. You spend your days inventing new ways of combining beans and rice, the two dry goods staples that there seems to be no shortage of, into new dishes for the FEDRA soldiers, including Frankie.

Frankie has patrols and guard duty most days. He doesn’t tell you much about what he does, saying it’s all routine. Until one evening when he comes back late and there’s blood on his uniform and a bright cut on his cheek, his hands shaking as he unbuttons the shirt. You’re standing in the doorway of the bathroom, watching him struggle with it, so you gently push his hands away and slip the buttons from their holes, your fingers staining red with blood.

“Talk to me, Frankie,” you say in a low voice, looking up at him as he looks down at your hands.

He shakes his head, “You don’t need to hear it, cariño,” he says but you know that’s not how it works anymore.

“You need to talk to me, Frankie, you can’t keep all the bad stuff inside just to protect me.” You push the shirt off his shoulders and drop it in the sink, filling it up with cold water, letting the t-shirt go the same way as he pulls it over his head.

“I see some pretty grim stuff out there, I don’t want you to know how bad it gets,” he sighs as you gently push him down on the toilet seat, taking out the first aid kit.

“You may want to protect me, but the people in the kitchen don’t care, they talk about all the stuff they’ve seen or what they’ve heard about from other soldiers,” you say, “I hear about the grim stuff every day.”

Frankie seems to scan your face for a minute while you clean out the cut on his cheek, when you’re done he gently takes your hand and presses his lips to your palm.

“I had to learn how to push the grim shit to the back of my mind when I was in the military,” he says, still holding on to your hand. “I made myself indifferent to the pain and suffering I saw others go through, just so that I could get on with the mission. Indifferent to the pain and suffering I inflicted. I don’t want you to have to do the same, cariño.”

“If I ask you to tell me about the stuff you go through, I’m doing it to help you, I’m not going to be indifferent to that, Frankie,” You slip your fingers between his and make him stand up, unbuttoning his cargo pants and pushing them down. They’ve got dark mud stains along one side and you pick them up and dump them in the laundry basket. “I want to know what you go through, because I love you and I want to help you, so you don’t have to carry it all on your own. That’s kinda part of the whole ‘wife’ thing you asked me to be.”

You see his mouth quirk up in a small smile as you poke his chest, “Get in the shower, Morales, and tell me about your day.”

��Yes, ma’am.”

“Atta boy.”

The second week of your time in the QZ sees your routine start to crystalize; get up, quick shower, breakfast with Frankie if your schedules match up, otherwise you head over to the big kitchen you work in and have breakfast there. You always stop by the service center first and scan the notice board that contains lists of people in this QZ and any updated lists of inhabitants of other QZ’s. So far none of your friend’s names have appeared on any lists. Only Benny and Hannah so far and Frankie hasn’t been able to get through to him yet, he only had a short message from Ben saying Hannaha and him were ok.

Once you’re done with breakfast you spend the rest of the day preparing and planning meals for the soldiers. The kitchen is in an old high school building, the large school kitchen ideal for preparing meals for big groups. The cafeteria now serves as a mess hall for soldiers rather than high schoolers and it’s bizarre seeing the high school banners and colors hanging on the walls over rows of men and women in army fatigues. You usually have the early shift and then you’re done by mid-afternoon, free to do what you want within the confines of the QZ. When Frankie’s shift ends around the same time he’ll meet you in the high school gym. He’s started training you, as he promised in his note for you, teaching you basic fight techniques and how to get away if someone grabs you. It’s exhausting, Frankie is not going easy on you, making you drip with sweat as he encourages you to punch his flat palms harder. Trying to break free of his grip is even harder, his weight and length makes it easy for him to just pin you down. But he makes you practice a few basic moves over and over until you are able to throw him off balance and break free most of the time. At the end of your second week in the QZ your body is aching, your knuckles are raw, but the bruise on Frankie’s jaw from is proof that you’d managed to learn something useful at least.

On Monday afternoon of your third week you leave the kitchen and head for home. Frankie’s got a late shift and won’t be home until dinner time. You drop off an application for some clothes that you need at the donation center and take a new route home. You weren’t familiar with the city before the outbreak and Frankie had tasked you with learning your way around all the streets. He’d said it was a safety precaution in case something, anything, happened and you needed to move swiftly through the city. You hoped you’d never need the skill but you still took different routes home every day, wandering aimlessly, mapping the streets in your head.

Today you come to a small square where some people have set up makeshift stalls, really just blankets on the ground, to sell anything they didn’t need. People would barter or trade for ration cards, the inofficial currency of the QZ. After a few miserable rainy days, the weather was nice again and it seemed to have brought out more people than usual, making you have to weave and dodge around the crowd as you make your way across the marketplace. You don’t notice the dark haired man crouching down by one of the blankets, talking to the owner selling an assortment of shoes. But he seems to sense you, maybe he catches a glimpse of your hair from the corner of his eyes, and he stands up, staring at your back as you weave past the last of the people.

You hear your name called, a tentative tone to it, questioning if it’s really you and you turn, looking back at the crowd of people. At first you don’t see him, but then he steps forward, looking like he doesn’t trust his eyes.

“Pope!” you gasp, your voice barely a whisper as you take a step towards him and it makes him spring into action. In a few quick steps he’s on you, his arms thrown around you, hugging you tight as you wind your arms around his neck, holding onto him as you feel tears start to well up in your eyes.

“Pope, you’re alive!” you sob, your heart feels like it’s about to explode with relief and happiness, “You’re actually alive!”

“I am, and so are you, hermana, I can’t believe it,” Pope’s laughing into your ear as he hugs you tighter, “I can’t fucking believe it!”

He pulls back, his arms still tight around your waist and looks down at your tear stained face. “Frankie?” he asks, his smile giving way to a pensive look and you beam at him through your tears, nodding.

“He’s alive, he’s here too!”

Pope blows out a loud sigh of relief and hugs you tight again, “Thank fucking god, I would’ve killed him otherwise.”

“I’ve got so many questions,” you say, still buried against his shoulder, and he pulls back again, “what happened after you left the cabin?”

Pope sighs, loosening his grip on you but his hands still holding on to your shoulders, shaking his head. “It’s a long story, so much shit went wrong.” He suddenly grips you harder, his eyes wide with fear, “Lucía? Is she with you, please, fuck, please tell me she’s with you!”

You open your mouth but nothing comes out, you don’t know how to get the words past your lips, but he sees your face and understands, without words he understands exactly. He drops his hands and steps past you, walking away from the market, and from behind you see him raise a fist to his mouth. You follow him, further away from the crowd, and when he stops you stand in front of him. He drops his fist, his eyes wide, staring towards the sky and you can see tears collecting in his thick lashes. When he drops his gaze down to his boots tears drip down and you reach out and hug him, folding your arms around his neck, one hand on the back of his head. He doesn’t sob the way Frankie does, he trembles under you, shaking, but no sounds come from him, just his ragged breath.

“How?” he asks eventually, lifting his head from where he’d dropped it on your shoulder.

“We got to her house Monday afternoon, they’d been evacuated by soldiers, taken to Franklin. So we followed but…” you hesitate, the memory of the pile of dead bodies on the side of the road floats up to the forefront of your mind. Lucía’s mom with bullet holes, Lucía’s dress, Frankie’s voice when he thought she was alive, and the inhuman scream from her as she tried to attack him. The gunshot.

“It was a nightmare, Santi,” you whisper. “They’d killed all the evacuees, they were all on the side of the road, shot.”

“I heard rumors about them executing people who weren’t infected, but even children…”

“They were infected, or at least some of them were,” you interrupt him. “Lucía was infected, she…” you draw a shuddering breath, squeezing your eyes shut at the memory. “She was infected when we got there, we thought she was alive but then…Santi…” you look at him, dreading telling him the worst part of Frankie’s trauma. “She…Frankie had to…” you can’t bring yourself to say it, but he understands, his dark eyes reflecting your pain.

He wraps his arms around you again and together you stand still, holding each other up as the images from that day swirl in your head again, and Pope begins to understand what kind of state Frankie will be in when he finally sees his best friend again.

Pope puts his arm around your shoulders as the two of you walk to your apartment, not talking much, he tells you where he’s living and skirts your question about what he’s working with. It raises a twinge of suspicion in you but you drop it. A lot of stories will need to be told to cover all the time that’s passed since you last saw Pope in your old apartment back home, and you’d rather have Frankie with you for that. He’s not home yet when you unlock the apartment door, he’s not due for another half an hour, so you point Pope to the couch and start dinner.

“I have news about Benny and Hannah,” you say as you pull out a pot to boil rice. “They’re in the Arlington QZ, Frankie had a message from him a couple of days ago.”

“Oh shit, really?” Pope says, sitting up straight on the couch, “are they ok?”

“We don’t know anything except that they’re there and the soldier who told me hadn’t heard anything about Benny having a brother so we think Will isn’t with him.”

“A soldier from the New York QZ told me recently about a guy who sounded very much like Will, but I haven’t been able to verify it. I’ve been asking around every chance I get.”

“How would Will end up in New York though? That’s hours away even if you could drive the whole way.” You look over at Pope who just shakes his head, and shrugs.

“I have no idea why he would be there, but that’s the only lead I have.”

A key in the front door draws your attention and Pope stands up, he’s directly in line of sight of the door and he’s grinning when the door swings open. Frankie’s got his eyes on a note in his hand as he walks through the door.

“Cariño, they’re turning off the water tomor-” He stops dead in his tracks as he spots Pope.

“Cada día eres más feo,” Pope grins at Frankie’s stunned face before taking two steps and grabbing hold of his jacket, pulling him in for a bear hug. Frankie stumbles into him, hugging him back, still dazed.

“Pope..how?” He pulls back from the hug staring at his friend, his face splitting into a grin as he claps Pope’s shoulders, “Where the fuck did you come from, pendejo?!”

“I ran into your girl on the street, she told me you guys just got here and invited me over.” Pope’s grin is as wide as Frankie’s and he’s grabbed hold of the other man’s face, looking at him like he can’t believe he’s real.

“Fuck, you make it sound like you just dropped by for a fucking house warming,” Frankie says, pulling him in for another hug, “It’s fucking good to see you, hermano.” He lets go of Pope and, still grinning, kicks off his boots as Pope walks back to the living room. You’re leaning on the kitchen counter with a smile, looking at the two men reunite. Frankie comes over to you for a kiss before turning back to Pope.

“Where have you been, how did you end up here?” he asks, sinking down on the couch and Pope joins him, grabbing hold of Frankie’s shoulder. You grab three glasses and a bottle of whiskey Frankie had found while on patrol, you’d been meaning to use it to trade with but this was better use.

“Frankie,” Pope says, his voice suddenly serious as he looks at the other man, “I heard…about Lucía.”

Frankie gives a short nod and drops his eyes, looking at his hands for a second before he grabs one of the glasses, you can see his hands start to tremble.

“I can’t talk about it,” he says, before downing the whiskey, grasping hard at the empty glass as he looks up at you, seeking your support.

“I get it, man, I’m…” Pope drifts off, tilting his head back and looking at the ceiling. “Fuck.” He draws a deep breath and accepts the glass of whiskey from you, you refill Frankie’s and then your own.

“So you guys go to the cabin?” Pope asks, looking over at you.

“Yeah, we got there early Sunday evening, we saw your note and left for Lucía’s place early Monday morning.” you say, sitting down next to Frankie on the couch. “After…” you glance over at Frankie who’s dropped his gaze back to his hands, “after we went back to the cabin. And we stayed there until a few weeks ago, hoping any of you guys would turn up but no one did. We survived on Denny’s supplies but when they ran out we had to head out and find more. Things went bad and we got attacked by looters, they took the supplies we had left and held us prisoner at their farm.” You shudder at the memory, still too fresh in your mind. “Frankie got us out, killed them, but our supplies were lost so we had no choice but to come here.”

“I tried getting back to the cabin but I was injured,” Pope says, pulling up his shirt and showing a fresh scar on his right side. “I was on the bike, just as I was getting into Lucía’s town some fucking hillbilly took a shot at me. I crashed the bike, managed to kill the guy when he came after me, but then I lost consciousness. Next thing I know I woke up with a rifle against my chest, nearly got shot again.” Pope takes a sip of his whiskey, shaking his head at the memory. “It was a military convoy going through town collecting evacuees, probably the same one that picked up Lucía. They were killing anyone infected or injured but I told them I was Special Ops and they patched me up.” He looks over at Frankie’s who’s lifted his eyes and is looking at Pope as he tells his story.

“Frankie, if I’d known…they told me they were taking the whole town to the QZ, so I went with them…I…”

“It would’ve been too late,” Frankie shakes his head, “It wouldn’t have made any difference. I know how she got infected and it would’ve been too late even if you’d gotten there before the soldiers.”

You look over at Frankie, he’d never said anything about how she got infected before and as he sees your questioning look he takes your hand.

“It was the fucking pancakes, the box mix. FEDRA has information about the infection starting in the food supply, in cereal products like pancake mix. Her mom always used the fucking box mix even though I told her it was shit.” His shoulders sag and he takes another long sip of the whiskey.

“Fuck…” you breath, trying to process the information.

“I’d heard rumors about that too,” Pope says, “that’s what people are saying but FEDRA has never confirmed it.”

“Why do you think they serve only beans and rice to the soldiers?” Frankie says, looking over at Pope, “I’ve got fucking beans and rice coming out of my ears.”

“What happened after you got to the QZ, Pope?” you ask.

“It wasn’t set up like it is now, they had a temporary set up, blocked off streets with barricades while they set up a fence.” Pope shoves his hand through his thick hair, his eyes suddenly very tired, “I don’t remember much, I got septicemia, I was out of it for the better part of a month, they didn't have enough antibiotics, most of the supplies got destroyed in the outbreak. The major hospital here caught fire and burnt almost clean to the ground.” He leans back against the couch and sighs, “It’s not been good in here, by the time I was back on my feet the wall had gone up, FEDRA had taken control and they control who leaves the QZ, and who comes in. You’re not allowed to leave unless you’re being transferred to another QZ.” He looks over at Frankie, still in his uniform, “And you’re working for them, Fish?”

“Yeah, it was the only way we could get in,” Frankie says, “And it comes with benefits, but I’m starting to see some sides of FEDRA I don’t like.”

You nod next to Frankie, you’d heard the stories too by now. The staff in the kitchen would complain loudly about the food, the work they had to do, the accommodation, but never about FEDRA so that the supervisors could hear. But at breaks, and in whispered conversations in the dry good storage, you were told about the injustices in the system FEDRA had put in place. From small things like docking rations when you turned up late to work, to things that made your skin crawl, FEDRA soldiers abusing their power by demanding services from women in the QZ, especially those who didn’t have family to protect them. One of the women in the kitchen had looked at you with envy, “You'll be protected, your guy´s one of the officers, just make sure you know where he gets any extras he comes home with.” You’d told Frankie about the conversation and his eyebrows had furrowed, a dark look in his eyes.

“Yeah, I’ve stayed away from them,” Pope says, “I gave them a fake name when they put me in the hospital.” You raise your eyebrows in a questioning look and he chuckles, “Some habits die hard, I try to stay under cover when I can.”

“So that’s why I haven’t seen your name on any of the lists of residents!” you exclaim, reaching over and slapping his arm, “We’ve been looking every day for you, pendejo!”

“You teaching her the bad words now, hermano?” Pope smiles and bats your hand away. “She definitely picked that one up from you, I’m sure,” Frankie retorts with a grin and you can’t help but feel happiness bubble up inside you as you see his smile, having Pope back was a god send, especially for Frankie.

“I’m gonna plate dinner, you guys wanna keep up with the whiskey or switch to water?”

“Water,” Frankie immediately says, “I have an early shift tomorrow.”

Dinner stretches on late into the night, despite Frankie needing to get up early the next day. You talk about your friends, about memories from before the outbreak, all three feeling the need for a break from the grim reality you now live in. Halfway through dinner Pope notices the ring on your left hand ring finger and grins big. “Congratulations,” he smiles and points to your hand and you grin as you look down at it.

“Thanks, Frankie decided to be a romantic despite the world ending.”

“Good job, Fish, told you she’d say ‘yes’.”

“You knew?” you ask with a surprised look on your face.

“Of course! I helped him pick the ring. Although, the one I suggested had much bigger diamonds, just so you know.”

Frankie gives him a friendly slap on the arm, “Shut up, you know why I picked this one and not your fake looking iceberg.”

“Why did you pick this one? I meant to ask you but I forgot with everything that happened.” You hold up your hand so that you can look at the thin gold band, three small diamonds in a row.

“Three diamonds, one for you, one for me, one for Lucía,” Frankie says, his voice low. “And room for more diamonds if we have kids together.”

“Frankie…” you whisper, taking his hand and pulling it to your heart. He gives you a small smile and Pope slaps his back.

“Go on, Fish, kiss her, I won’t look.”

That makes Frankie chuckle and he pulls you onto this lap, making the old chair creak under your combined weight as he holds you close for a long kiss, tangling his fingers in your hair until Pope clears his throat and pours more whiskey, calling for a toast.

In the end Frankie tells Pope to crash on the couch rather than walk home, the curfew is about to go into effect anyway. Frankie gives him the spare blanket as he pulls his sweater off, you disappear into the bathroom for a quick shower.

“I’m really happy she found you, man,” Frankie says, putting his hand on Pope’s shoulder, “It’s a fucking weight off my chest seeing you in one piece.”

Pope grabs Frankie and pulls him in for a hug, grabbing hold of the back of his neck to hold him tight. “Same, man, it’s good to see you. And I went through fucking hell leaving her at your apartment, Fish, but she wouldn’t leave you behind. And the relief when I saw her today, you have no idea. And then you too.”

“Yeah,” Frankie mumbles, his arms tight around Pope, “she’s been my rock, she never gives up on me. Even when I’m about to give up on myself.”

Pope pulls back, looking at his friend’s dark eyes, “Shit got dark, I almost walked away, after Lucía…” Frankie shakes his head, dropping his eyes from Pope’s steady gaze. “I knew I had to keep her safe, but then, when I got her somewhere safe, I was gonna leave, let her get on with her life without my broken ass. But she never gave up on me.”

“If you’d walked out on her, I would’ve tracked you down and slapped your sorry ass,” Pope’s voice is gentle despite his words as he pulls Frankie’s head against his so that their foreheads are touching. “I know the shit you’ve already gone through, Frankie, before all this, and I can see the shit you’re dealing with now. But you’ve got her, and you’ve got me, and I’m not fucking giving up on you this time either.”

Frankie gives a small nod, and Pope lets go of his neck.

“Better get some sleep, hermano, early start,” he says, picking up the blanket and shaking it out over the couch.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning, Pope,” Frankie says, giving the man’s shoulder a final squeeze before he heads into the bedroom. You join him a few minutes later after saying good night to Pope too. Curling up next to Frankie, his arms wrapping around you, you grab his cheeks between your palms, pressing a kiss to his soft lips.

“I’m never giving up on you either, Frankie.”

Early next morning Frankie drags himself out of bed and you follow him, getting breakfast ready for the three of you as he’s in the shower. Santi is sitting bleary eyed on the couch, rubbing the crust out of his eyes.

“How’d you sleep? Not sure how comfortable that couch is,” you say to him as you get the coffee going. Thank god for endless coffee shops, at least there’s plenty of coffee to go around for now.

“Between the whiskey, good food and finally knowing you guys are safe, I slept like a baby,” he yawns. “I was thinking though, we should try to get a message to Benny, see how things are in Arlington. Maybe it’s worth transferring there, team up with Benny and we could all go back to our old apartments, if they’re inside the QZ.”

“From what I hear, it’s not too hard to get a transfer, the difficult part is actually getting to the QZ,” you say, pouring milk into Santi’s coffee and handing it to him as he comes into the kitchen.

“You shouldn’t be using your rations on me, hermana, I’ll pay you back,” he says but accepts the coffee gratefully. You pour another mug for yourself and Frankie before you pull out the powdered eggs and tinned ham .

“Don’t be silly, Pope, you know it doesn’t work like that, we’re family, now more than ever.”

“I’m grateful anyway, you know that.” He hooks an arm around your shoulder, giving you a squeeze, before he sits down at the small table. Frankie ambles into the kitchen, pushing his fingers through his damp hair and grabs his coffee too before pulling out a frying pan to cook the ham while you deal with the “eggs”. Before long you’re all sitting down for breakfast.

“Pope thinks we should try to talk to Benny and see how things are in Arlington and maybe get a transfer.” You say to Frankie and he nods.

“I was thinking the same thing, we have a good chance of getting a transfer there as it’s our hometown. The trick is actually getting there in one piece, I’m not risking your life again, cariño,” Frankie puts his hand on your leg, but Pope shakes his head.

“I heard FEDRA does convoys with supplies between cities, you’re military, you’d get a lift with that, both you and her, no problem.”

“And you? How’d you get transport?” You ask, giving Pope a worried look, “you’re not even here under your real name.”

“I’ve made a few connections, a couple of people owe me big favors,” he grins, “I’m sure I can get a seat on a convoy.”

“Always making deals, always have a way, you don’t change, Pope,” Frankie says, looking at his friend who raises his coffee mug in mock salute.

“You know it, Frankie!”

“When do you think you can arrange for a radio call with Benny?” you ask Frankie. He’s the one who has the best chance at getting a radio call approved, with his rank in FEDRA.

“In a couple of days probably, I’ll put in the request today. I’ll try to schedule it for an afternoon that you’re not working, all three of us should be there.” Frankie looks over at Pope, “What are you doing for work? You’re not in FEDRA, but you’ve got to eat, right?”

Pope waves his hand in a vague gesture, “A bit of this and that, I do those daily jobs they’re always looking for people to do.”

“The stuff no one else wants to do?” you ask, raising your eyebrows, “I hear they’re really nasty jobs, burning bodies, sewage details, that kinda stuff.”

“Better me than some poor civvie,” Pope says with a shrug, “I’ve seen much worse, I can handle it.”

“Santi…” you say, shaking your head, “you could do a lot better than that, FEDRA will take you any day, you could patrol with Frankie.”

“And have Fish give me orders?” Pope chuckles, giving a mock salute at Frankie, who grins. “No, no offense, Fish, but I don’t think FEDRA is the way to go for me. There's a bit more to be done on the private side.” He drains his mug and pushes back from the table, getting to his feet, “Besides, I’m staying with a woman who’s good enough to share her rations when I bring home useful stuff.”

“What do you mean ‘bring home useful stuff’?” Frankie asks, looking up at Pope who’s got a sly grin.

“You know, stuff ration cards don’t cover, or stuff that’s hard to find. You know me, I always had a nose for finding useful things.”

“Pope, man, are you going outside the wall?” Frankie says, standing up and looking at his friend with knotted eyebrows.

“Never, too risky,” Pope says immediately and you both know he’s lying through his teeth with how fast his reply is. “Anyway, I’ve got to go, gonna go see if I can pick up a job today. Let me know when the radio call with Benny comes through, ok?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll come find you as soon as I know,” Frankie says and Pope pulls him in for a hug. “Mantente a salvo, hermano.”

“Tú también.” Frankie claps Pope’s back before the younger man heads out the door.

“He’s definitely lying about not going outside of the wall,” you say to Frankie after Pope has left.

“Yeah, he’s a world class liar but not good enough for his friends,” Frankie shakes his head. “FEDRA puts people who got outside the wall in lock up, repeat offenders are locked up for good, transferred to a prison near San Antonio. I hope he’s fucking careful, both for his sake and for ours.”

“I just hope he doesn’t get himself infected,” you say, “I hate that I have to worry about him too now, not just you.”

Frankie takes your hand, taking the dirty dishes from you and putting them on the counter before pulling you into his arms. “Pope’s a big boy, he can handle himself, and he doesn’t need you worrying about him.” He leans down and puts his forehead against yours, looking at you so that all you can see are his warm, brown eyes. “Don’t worry, cariño lindo.”

“I can’t help it, I know what you face some days, and it scares me.”

“I’m better trained than almost everyone in FEDRA, and I’m extra careful, and do you know why?”

You shake your head gently, Frankie’s hands coming up to cup your cheeks, running his thumbs over the soft skin.

“Because I have you to come home too. Every decision I make when I’m out on patrol is based on you, coming home to you, that’s my priority, everything else comes second.” Frankie brushes his lips over yours, “Hermosa….” his warm breath ghosting over your skin, “Every morning I leave your warm body in our bed, and every second of every day it’s the one thing that keeps me going, knowing that I get to come home and crawl into bed next to you.” He presses his plush lips against yours and you feel yourself melt into him as you wrap your arms around his waist.

“You’re gonna be late,” you mumble into his mouth and he tilts his head, slipping his tongue in between your lips.

He is late that morning but only five minutes and when his C.O. asks why he says he was stopped by civilians asking for directions. And it turns out it’s lucky he’s late because everyone else has already gone down to check out their guns from weapons storage when the radio call comes in from Arlington QZ and he gets sent up to answer it.

“Franklin QZ, Captain Morales here. Go ahead Arlington, over.”

“Fuck me! Catfish! Is that you?!” Benny’s shocked voice comes over the radio, forgetting all radio commands.

“Benny!” Frankie yells down the microphone. “Yeah, it’s me! So good to hear your voice, man! How are you?!”

“I’m good, Fish! I couldn’t believe it when I heard you both made it to Franklin! I’ve been worried fucking sick about you and the rest of the guys!”

“I’ve got even better news, pal,” Frankie laughs, “Pope’s here too! Ran into him out of the blue and he’s been here the whole time, got here a few days after the outbreak.”

“No fucking way! That’s awesome” Benny laughs down the radio channel but Frankie swallows, he knows he needs to ask about Will and he braces himself for bad news.

“Benny, I’ve got to ask, is Will with you?” The silence that follows is telling and Frankie squeezes his eyes shut, pressing his knuckles into the eyelids.

“No,” Benny’s voice comes back after a long pause, “I haven’t heard from him since the outbreak. I was meant to have dinner with him and Hannah that night, but then shit started popping off and when he didn’t come home Hannah and I got really worried. She stayed behind at their house, and I took the car to go look for him at the office. I tried getting to it but there were infected everywhere, and…” The line goes quiet for so long Frankie starts to think the connection’s been lost before Benny’s voice finally comes through the static. “The building was on fire, that restaurant by the entrance, something must’ve made it catch, because it was blazing. If he was still in the building…or in the street…”

“Pope said he’d spoken to a soldier from the New York QZ who mentioned a guy who sounded like Will,” Frankie says, just to give Ben some semblance of hope.

“I’ve asked everyone, Fish, every QZ we’re in touch with, no one has heard of William Miller.” Even through the crackling line Frankie can hear Benny’s deep sigh, “I’m not giving up but…Hannah’s grieving him, she doesn’t think he made it, and the more time that passes…” Benny’s voice drops off.

“I’m really sorry, Ben, I really am, man, but I’ll keep asking here too, ok?”

“Frankie, when Ingrid told me about you guys being in quarantine she said it was only you and your girl…?”

Frankie was expecting Benny to ask but he still feels his throat close up as the memory of his daughter surges to the surface and he clenches his fists, nails digging into his palms. He shakes his head, his eyes on his hands, before he remembers the other man can’t see him.

“She didn’t make it,” he presses out between his teeth and the tension in his voice lets Benny know, through the patchy radio line and miles that separate them, how fragile Frankie is. He’s quiet on the other end when Frankie lets go of the button, pressing it down on his end to speak but he can’t find the words, opening his mouth to say something but closing it again. Finally, after what feels like minutes he just breathes out a low Fuck over the airwaves.

“Yeah,” Frankie’s voice comes through, low and tight, and the silence stretches between them again untill Frankie shakes his head to clear it, “Listen, Benny, I’ve got to go, what’s the message for HQ?”

“Sorry, man, didn’t mean to keep you,” Benny says, picking up a folder at his end. “There’s a convoy coming through, ETA Monday next week. Three transfers, agreed upon supplies and ammo, all accounted for.”

“Ok, got it, I’ll pass it on.” Frankie responds, jotting down the information on the pad next to the microphone. “Listen, we were talking about applying for a transfer over to Arlington, all three of us, what do you think?”

“Yeah, absolutely man, put me down as a reference on the application, I’ll get it through. I don’t think Arlington is in any better state than Franklin but at least we’ll be in the same QZ.”

“Ok, good, we’ll get that done. I’ve gotta sign off now, Benny. Fucking great hearing your voice though, man.”

“Same, Fish, really fucking same, stay safe, all of you.”

Benny hesitates, Frankie can hear it in his voice, years of knowing Benny and he can all but see the look on the younger man’s face. “I’m really sorry about Lucía, I loved- love her.”

“Thanks, Benny,” Frankie pushes his nails into his palms again. “I’ll talk to you soon, man, ok?”

“Yeah, talk to you soon and see you soon, gonna be good, man.”

Frankie signs off and leans back in his chair, taking a moment to shove the memories of Lucía into the back of his mind before he goes on duty. He hears steps in the corridor and looks up, his C.O. looking in through the door.

“Everything ok, Morales?”

“Yes, sir, just gonna pass this message from Arlington to HQ.”

“Good, sign out your gun when you’re done and join Johnsson in the training yard.”

“Yes, sir”.

He pushes up out of the chair and gets to work, forcing his mind into soldier mode for the rest of the day.

Chapter 19

A note on how Pope greets Frankie: "Cada día eres más feo" (Every day you're uglier). It's what Frankie says to Pope when they greet each other in Triple Frontier (so it felt fitting to use here), except Pedro says something along the lines of "Ca´día más feo"if I'm hearing it correctly. I had to ask the latino husband and he says it's basically just sloppy Spanish, dropping half the words and mashing the rest together. So I went with the grammatically correct version, husband approved. 😅

Taglist: @pimosworld @i-own-loki @casa-boiardi @littlenosoul @stormseyer @mxtokko @javicstories @nunya7394 @welcometothepedroverse

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales fluff #pedro pascal character fanfiction #frankie morales fanfic #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #francisco morales x reader #francisco catfish morales #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier fic #triple frontier fanfiction

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carmyberzattosjournal · 1 month ago

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Entry 26: She Knew Something I Didn't

Screenshot by: @boardchairman-blog

Bearblr Promptober Day 26: Coffee Shop

Summary: Carmy reflects on meeting his girlfriend (who he calls Darling) at a coffee shop.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of trauma, self-loathing, mentioned fight with Syd, mentions of patient loss for Darling, comfort, fem reader/lass who is a trauma surgeon, she/her pronouns (759 words)

Notes: All journal entries will be titled as such and tagged with #cb journal.

Thank you for reading. Thank you to @carmenberzattosgf for putting together this prompt list. Sideblog for commentary and yapping: @m-z-shoroi

Also, if random letters or words are black/white instead of the colors they should be, that's Tumblr being dumb, I've been fighting it for days.

26 Oct 2024

I met her at a coffee shop.

Sounds dumb. Also, unbelievable because my dumbass self went to a fucking coffee shop, but I promise you, it was for a good reason. Syd and I had a bad fight roundabouts the first month we were open. The kind that plays over and over in your head on a loop because you can’t figure out why you’re so riled up about it? Half the time, it’s because you acted a fucking asshole and you’re trying to spin the story in your head to make yourself feel less like shit about it. The other half, it's because you weren’t enough of an asshole and wish you could get a redo and really let the other person have it, just unleash fuck-all knows how many years of frustration pent up in the pressure cooker you shove everything else into because no one taught our parents how to deal with their emotions—so they never taught us.

It was the former for me. I was an asshole.

I’m rambling again.

We had a bad fight. You’re not even fucking listening to me anymore. Can you even hear me? Do you even know I’m here? Do you know you’re not in the walk-in anymore? Where the fuck is your head, Carmy? We can’t do daily fucking menu changes, what the fuck is wrong with you? That kind of bad.

The worst part of the ordeal—of her blowing up at me, of that role-reversal—was that it worked. Or maybe the worst part was that it was justified. Thinking about it now, I was really fucking losing it. Like properly off the deep end, screaming bubbles under water, a wild animal choking itself against its collar. It was that last bit, the “what the fuck is wrong with you” that broke through whatever the fuck was going on with me. What the fuck was wrong with me? No, in all seriousness, what was it? Why did my next instinct default to replaying her coffee order over and over again in my head to add to the cacophony of screaming? That’s not fucking normal, is it?

Is it? What the shit is normal even?

So, yeah, I went to the local coffee place she likes with the plan to grab her coffee, but there was this girl sitting at the corner table, right? The one by the windows. Hair neat but out of the way, sunglasses on the crown of her head, cardigan made of these squares that had daisies in them (I’ve since learned they’re crocheted granny squares—the fuck kind of a name is granny squares). It’s right as winter turns to spring (or Stop Fucking Raining season). Maybe it was the color of her cardigan that caught my attention—the green in those squares. Maybe I was just a lonely fuck still smarting over a relationship that I fucked up.

Fine. I’ll give you credit. Maybe it was God.

She waved at me. Smiled. Normally, I’m a bit of a dick and forget to smile back, favoring a weird old-man nod (it’s a habit I picked up from Cicero, I’m pretty sure), but she drew a smile from me. Something about how unexpectant she was. She didn’t want anything from me, just wanted to acknowledge my existence as one-tick-closer-to-happy-than-background-noise. I grabbed coffee for myself, planned on grabbing Syd’s later (I did remember to, it managed a truce, but that’s not exactly a great behavior pattern, is it? Reminds me too much of ma). Wandered over to her table. She moved her books before I asked if I could join her.

What possessed me to?

Heartache? Regret? Misery? Loneliness? Her cardigan? First person I noticed in as many weeks? I don’t know. I don’t think it matters. I’ve asked her since then why she smiled at me. As if she somehow knew something I didn’t.

She was at the coffee shop on a short leave from work. She had a brutal case the day before—17-year-old kid caught in a car accident who was in the OR for 18 hours hovering between life and death, only to then go into anaphylactic shock at the antibiotics started on him post-op and then not make it. The only other person who survived was the mother, but upon learning that she was the only one left, she rapidly deteriorated. Didn’t make it, either.

Her answer? “I smile at everyone. There isn’t enough positivity in the world.”

I swear to whatever is holy and unholy, I will protect this woman with my life.

#cb journal #bearblrpromptober #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto #the bear fanfiction #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmy x reader #the bear #carmen berzatto fluff #hey maybe i should write the actual meet cute or something

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thana-topsy · 1 year ago

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Hello! I hope this isn't too much of a loaded question, but do you have any general tips for writing? I'd like to give fanfic writing a shot at some point.

Not at all! I'm always happy to talk shop about writing! As far as general tips go, there are some things that I think everyone could benefit from, so I'll try to condense my opinions and suggestions into A Numbered List. (We'll limit it to 5 suggestions for now).

Read Actively I mean this in the sense of really chewing on whatever it is you're reading. Dig into the meat of That One Paragraph and look for things you enjoy, things that tickle your brain. I'll give an example from something I read recently, which is our lovely @kookaburra1701's newest story "Aristeia" "They crested the final hillock; Mor Khazgur dominated the shallow valley below. When she had been younger, Borgakh had often imagined the longhouse was a lazy cat asleep on a bright green rug, curled up against the rocks of the Druadach Mountains. When the stronghold’s goats were pastured in the glade, they played the role of mice scurrying about under the cat’s nose." I was just ENAMORED by this passage. The whimsy, the rhythm of some the repeating consonants -- stronghold's goats, glade -- and just the imagery it drummed up, reminding me of those fanciful imaginings of my own childhood. So don't just read a lot, but read actively. Read works that inspire you, authors that impress you, and subject matter that's similar to the type of stuff you want to be writing. And think about why you like the things your like, and draw that inspiration into your own writing. Imitate your heroes until you're no longer imitating and it's just how you write.

Accept Constructive Criticism This one is always a challenge in the beginning. The Ego is a powerful little devil, and it'll try to confuse you. It'll tell you that your value is tied to the words on the page. But I'm here to tell you that YOU are NOT the words on the page. Take an objective stance on your prose and your plot. Everyone starts somewhere and (hopefully) nobody ever stops learning or improving. NOTE: Notice I said constructive criticism. This does not mean you should let people tear your work into shreds in bad faith. Listen to people who want to see you improve and also find joy in the craft of writing.

Read Your Writing Out Loud This is kind of self-explanatory. You'll get a really good feel for your own rhythm and flow VERY easily this way. And you'll catch almost any mistakes right away.

Cut All Unnecessary Words This is getting into the technical side of things, but why not? One of the first books I read on the craft of writing (whose title unfortunately escapes my mind at the moment) contained this advice, and it is STILL something I struggle with. Obviously, when you have a character with a specific voice, sometimes they get flowery in their internal speech and observations. I'll use Aiden as an example: "The fort loomed over them, massive and severe. Aiden attempted to judge the architecture and found he wasn’t quite sure what race or nation could have possibly built it. Or when it was built, for that matter. Second era, perhaps? The design seemed more Breton than Nord: austere, angular, and formal. But so close to the Velothi mountains, it could have been Imperial." I bolded words that don't actually add anything of value to the descriptions here. We lose nothing by cutting them out. But they're how Aiden thinks about the world around him. So I keep them to give shape to his internal processing. I'd say to try to write without these kinds of flavor words first, then start adding them in. Learn the rules before you break them, or break the habit before it becomes the ONLY way you write.

Write Every Day This one is tough in the beginning, but it's so crucial to becoming a better writer. WRITE. EVERY. DAY. Even if it's just 200 words, do it. Make it your little morning ritual or evening wind-down. Pick a time that's just for you and your words. Close all your tabs, put your phone on silent, and just write. Be alone with the world that you are trying to create. And soon enough, you'll find that you can't go a day without writing something. And what a joy that is.

That's my list! I hope you found these tips useful! I also recommend reading books on the craft of writing, too.

Best of luck on your journey! You have infinite possibilities before you.

#topsy's asks #writing meta #writing advice #on writing #fanfiction #fanfic meta

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rfaromance · 2 years ago

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Rika.

Love her or hate her, no Mystic Messenger player can deny that she is central to the overarching plot of the game.

Depending on your view of her, her major role in Ray (Saeran) After Ending is either intriguing, exciting, frustrating, or infuriating.

Personally, I loved the portrayal, insight, and development in Rika during the RAE. Read below the cut for my Rika thoughts. Spoilers abound for Ray's route, RAE, Rika Behind, and even the Secret Ending. Also, uh, it's a long post. Longcat long.

(If you're interested in opinions on the RAE from a Saeran-loving POV, I'd suggest you consult @marshmallowprotection who pours her heart and soul into her analyses, especially regarding Saeran.)

If you're reading now, I'm assuming you have enough background in the game's lore where I don't need to explain the basics, so I'm going to dive right in.

At the start of Another Story, our well-intentioned but common-sense-challenged MC ends up being personally escorted to Mint Eye. And MC chooses to fixate on Ray and his mysteries and allure, ultimately trusting the not-so-honest rose boy instead of the highly mysterious V, who apparently is not an AI but also should not be anywhere near this cult.

In MC's defense, sometimes it's easier to choose the evil you know versus the evil you don't.

Rika doesn't have a problem with this, initially. She knows that she needs to throw Ray a bone. Allowing him to have a little doll like MC to dress up and pose and control and adore will appease him, and he has a plan to make MC useful for her goals, anyway. It's a win in her book, to keep Ray indebted to his Savior and also the possibility of luring the RFA members to her faster.

But a major distinction exists between Rika in Another Story (AS) and Rika in the original timeline (OS). Much like Saeran's mental state deteriorated further over the extra year and 6 months (give or take) between AS and OS, giving us Unknown, so did Rika's. In the SE, she explicitly tells Unknown that he was a failure and she wanted Saeyoung instead. She no longer valued Saeran's prior contributions to Mint Eye or her mental state--she wanted results now, and she would sacrifice anyone and anything to achieve them.

(Well, almost anyone. Turns out sacrificing V was not what she wanted, after all.)

But her goals are different in Another Story. She's still pursuing her dreams of making people happy by "saving" them from a tainted world of pain, but she's still itching for the personal happiness she has wanted all her life: love.

She wants a loving family. She has never known what it feels like to have a family that loves her, as her earliest memories are in the orphanage, and she was adopted by a vile, hateful woman who cursed her and subjected her to physical and emotional pain, verbal abuse, neglect, humiliation, warped "religious" cult ideas of sin and salvation, and the list goes on.

When she learned of two twin children who needed loving, protective parental figures... she became obsessed. She could save them. Nobody ever saved her, but she could save them.

That delusion of forming a happy family with V and the twins only became worse after Mother Choi's death. (I hesitate to call it a murder, because it was an act of imperfect self-defense, and thus I'd argue it was voluntary manslaughter under USA law. But if we're being technical, under Korean law it's murder under extenuating circumstances. Legal jargon differs across countries.) Having taken Saeran's mother away from him, Rika got the idea that she needed to be his mother now. They would both have a good family now--that's a win-win, right?

This is the Rika we still see in Another Story. That's why she gives him the name Ray, to eliminate his past and all traces of V and Saeyoung, molding him into her obedient, doting son. That's why she dresses him up in layers upon layers and forces him to study hacking, so she can control every aspect of her sweet child. That's why she swipes Ray after she catches wind of his kiss with MC in the garden. She doesn't know or care who instigated the kiss; all she needs to know is that MC poses a risk to her fantasy, her game of house.

So she tortures Ray until he can become her puppet-son again. Except she ends up with Suit Saeran, and for the time being she'll allow that because at least he isn't tripping head over heels for MC.

That backfires too, and when Saeran frees himself of that stuffy suit and allows his body to breathe, once Saeran makes his own decision to abandon those shackles, follow his heart, apologize and atone for his wrongdoing, and break out of his gilded cage with MC... Rika loses it.

She's lost everything. Mint Eye be damned, she's lost her illusion that she will reach a "happily ever after."

So when V blames himself and crawls back to her, not wanting to see her crumble alone, she locks a collar and leash onto him. Honestly, it's the worst possible ending for V. He can't shake his self-hatred and guilt complex, and he feels the need to stand by Rika even as she sends them both on a path of destruction, because he refuses to abandon her like his father abandoned his mother. He didn't even love her anymore, but he wanted to give her the peace that he never could when they were together. This was how he felt he needed to pay for hurting her, even if it meant destroying himself.

Okay, screenshot is a good place to wrap up the backstory and dive into the RAE itself.

I've seen complaints that Rika's character was inconsistent in the RAE, but candidly I think the fluctuations in her goals, emotions, and actions represent her fragile mental state in a phenomenal way. She was highly sensitive and susceptible to emotional influence, whether positive or negative. The seemingly smallest, most trivial events could send her reeling. She clearly has a lot of mental health issues and trauma that have never properly been addressed. Instead she turned to the worst possible coping mechanisms: comphet, making a cult, and brainwashing folks into being your make-believe family.

She didn't team up with Saejoong because she likes the guy. She sees him as a means to an end: getting the twins to live with her in her game of house.

The "he" that Rika refers to in this chat is Saejoong. He's a horrendous parent, but he managed to capture Saeyoung, and therefore Rika sees him as a tool. She also is adamant that the younger twin is "Ray", not Saeran, because the boy she needs for her happy ending is the submissive one with pruned wings, not the independent one who flies away on his wings of love.

If MC tries to inquire into Rika's motivations, she simply says she chooses happiness and to focus on the small joys in life. She's no longer as guarded and high-strung, because she has much less to lose. She doesn't feel the need to be perfect, to be a Savior. She's at peace with herself, instead of constantly seeking approval. Part of that cab be attributed to V's (reluctant) acceptance of Rika for who she is, instead of trying to fix her.

She's trying to be more open and honest, and with that attempt we get a Rika who is less guarded and poised, and rather a Rika whose mask is off and is trying to navigate what it means to simply "exist." She just wants her family of 4 to live "happily" together, and a lot less scheming is required. She almost has the energy of "I'm going to be the fun, cool mom. :)"

I bet she's awful at stacking chairs, though.

Now, many characters AND players have wondered, "Why in the WORLD would Saejoong team up with Rika?" He thinks she's nuts. We know that Rika is using him, and I'd venture that he's doing the same. He knows he's caught between a rock and a hard place, but he also knows that this woman is desperate to take his troublesome bastard sons and disappear with them. She can't exist in public, after all, or she'd risk her secret of being a cult leader getting exposed. It's a weird solution, but he was in no place to refuse her offer. Coerce Saeyoung into making false broadcasts to bolster Saejoong's public image, and then let Rika, V, and the twins run off into the sunset.

A special insight that you only get during the Normal Ending is that Saejoong thought he and Rika were similar, which is likely another reason he was willing to collude with her. And the Normal Ending is the reason that I felt inspired to write this post at all.

On day 3, Rika accuses Saeran of hating her. She's furious that she doesn't have Ray anymore, because Ray needed her and gave her a purpose. Saeran doesn't need her, and that sends her into a panic. But he chooses to be compassionate and to try to sympathize with her.

On day 4, we get this exchange between MC and Rika:

Rika breaks down in MC's arms. She didn't know what love was, and she didn't know how to reach it herself. Her solution was to control, to manipulate, to clutch desperately onto people who showed her even a shred of warmth... but always staying just distant enough where she could withdraw or flee if she felt threatened, or worse, sabotage the connection herself.

She didn't know what love was because she'd never experienced it. Her mother was a malicious, cruel woman. Mika sacrificed and manipulated her. Her priest assaulted her. V did his best, but he kept pushing his ideals and methods onto her instead of listening to her. She kept Saeran through control. She brainwashed and gaslit believers, smooth-talking her way into their minds and pockets. She even kept V bound to her by blinding him; we can only assume he got treatment after his trial.

MC and Saeran showed her what love is. It's about kindness for the sake of kindness, not to curry favor. It's a willingness to step out of your comfort zone to help those you care about. It's being brave when you're terrified. It's communicating in more ways than one, always listening and considering the other's thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions.

For the first time in her life, she saw love. She saw love in Saeran, who'd lured her and V away so that his lover and brother could be free. She saw love in MC, who'd always been gentle but firm with Rika, expressing genuine intrigue and concern for her. She saw people who didn't immediately demonize her for her worst mistake: the death of Mother Choi.

She's being honest with herself, too, acknowledging and understanding that her actions were wrong. And she starts bawling, because she's been repressing herself, her fears, and her needs for so long. She laments that she yearned for love like a child, but her body was too big now... and that made the void feel larger and emptier.

She finally got the answers she'd been trying to find for her entire life: What is love? And is she worthy?

So when the opportunity comes for her to set Saejoong straight, she tears into him. Now, she only does this in the normal ending. In the good ending, Saeran is the one who talks to Saejoong, says his piece, and gets his peace. Clearly that's the best possible ending for Saeran, because it allows him to put his last demon to rest. Now he can focus on healing and finding happiness on his own accord.

But in the normal ending, Rika shows that she's not just a sob story for MC and Saeran to pity. She's taking their lessons and her new convictions to heart and putting them into action.

And Saejoong truly loses his cool when he hears that the investigation team is coming. He knows he's toast, and so he tries to appeal to Rika one last time: "You know that you'll be going down, too."

To which Rika says: "Yes. It's long overdue."

Rika has a long, difficult road ahead of her, but it'll be a surprisingly peaceful one. She wants to heal. She wants to live a better life. She wants to be honest and true, and that means atoning for her crimes.

But then, she's going to devote her life to love.

The RAE Normal Ending is, in a bizarre way, the best outcome for Rika that Mysme canon gives us. (Because seriously, shipping her off to Alaska to GTFO was the laziest and most unsatisfying ending for her that I can imagine.)

#mystic messenger #Mysmes #Mysme #Mm #Rika Kim #rika mystic messenger #Rika mysme #Analysis #Rika essay 2 #saeran after ending #ray after ending

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critter-genfic-events · 11 months ago

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Mystery Gen Recs

This week, we have seven mysteries for you to unravel! Check them out under the cut, and please comment and kudos if you liked them!

Resonance by elanoides (25072,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Background Caleb/Astrid

When the Mighty Six turn up on his doorstep, Archmage Caleb Widogast finds himself swept into their investigation of a crime twenty years gone. But the murder of Trent Ikithon isn’t just any cold case, and as impossible coincidences start to pile up, Caleb and the Mighty Six discover a far stranger mystery.

Reccer says: Instantly compelling and manages to be in character, even given the obvious changes to canon

Only the Nightingale Sings by MithrilWren (170518,Teen) Warnings: Torture, Mind Manipulation, Sensory Deprivation Pairings: None

Things go sideways in Felderwin - Trent manages to capture the Nein. The spellcasters are sent to the Soltryce Academy - and Caleb ends up under Trent's thumb again. And Yeza is still missing.

Reccer says: A true epic, with wheels upon wheels turning, and plenty of mysteries.

The Avatar Conundrum by R_Black (19861,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Last Airbender AU. Airbending Master Essek has been tasked to teach the Avatar airbending, and the Avatar's group--the Mighty Nein--is also willing to learn some techniques, despite most of them not being airbenders. The only problem? No one outside of the Nein knows which of the members is the Avatar...

Reccer says: It's so much fun to read a little mystery from Essek's point of view. And to see just how infuriatingly confusing the Nein are to outside observers.

the moon answers when you cry in the woods by royalgreen (allyoop) (685,Teen) Warnings: Pairings: None

Caleb is missing memories, but the pieces he is left with terrify him.

Reccer says: At under 1,000 words, it's a very short and fun mystery with plenty of spookiness

Among the Nein by Nellaplanet (124171,Teen) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Pairings: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha Nydoorin

An Among Us AU that has the Mighty Nein traveling on a spaceship - until someone murders the captain

Reccer says: I liked it

Debt of Vengeance by steelneena (61351,Mature) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Pairings: Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia, Shaun Gilmore/Keyleth/Vax'ildan, Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III & Anna Ripley, Cassandra de Rolo & Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III, Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo & Scanlan Shorthalt, Vax'ildan & Vex'ahlia (Critical Role)

A modern au. Anna Ripley is murdered, Percival is the prime suspect, and Detective Vax is determined to find the truth.

Reccer says: I'm a bit biased on this one as I helped to beta it, but because of that I know how much thought was put into every detail, including the ending and the reveal. Do pay attention to the tags, as while this isn't Dead Dove territory, it does touch on some dark themes and is clinical in the descriptions of violence. Also, without giving any spoilers, if you like happy endings, this may not be for you; but if you like a legal thriller that punches you in the gut and stays with you, then give it a read :)

somewhere in between by judypoovey (2223,General) Warnings: None Pairings: none

Umbrasyl is dead, but as Vox Machina try to catch their breaths, they're faced with another mystery: finding out that the dragon was working with a strange human woman.

Reccer says: I liked it

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone can include you!

Next week, we'll be featuring Monsters. Metaphorical monsters? Fighting monsters? Being a monster? It's up to your interpretation!

Then, it'll be humor, hurt/comfort, and then focusing on Yasha Nydoorin.

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

#critical role #critter genfic rec lists #gen fic #the mighty nein #vox machina #cr fan fic #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #astrid beck #percival de rolo #vax'ildan #beauregard lionett #yasha nydoorin #Anna Ripley

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touchreceptors · 2 years ago

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opm 179/224(jp) TL commentary

so, about the Saitama vs Tatsumaki battle in the latest chapter.

Normally, I’m tired enough at the end of the work day that when the JP OPM chapter updates drop, I'm happy to just skim the chapter and wait for the usual fan TL team to do their good work and drop the English translation the next day. Usually, I find them very decent and competent.

This time around, however, Saitama’s lines on this particular page had me sitting up a little straighter.

I thought his word choice was oddly far too chummy given his usual personality and his attitude towards people like Tatsumaki, so I decided to check the original Japanese pages again and sure enough, found that I gleaned a very different idea from the JP lines. I would definitely have translated these differently.

Let’s take a look at the 2 phrases in question.

1. “She’s not in the mood to chat at all” (JP: 全然会話になんねえーな )

The plain form of this (i.e. after you distill it from Saitama’s typical style of speech) is 全然会話にならない which is far more often representative of the sentiment “It’s impossible trying to get through to you/this person”. It literally translates to “This is not becoming a 2-way conversation at all” or "you can't have a 2-way conversation with this person"; Google “会話にならない英語” and you will see multiple suggestions along the lines of “It’s no use talking to you.”

This phrase is used to indicate that the other party is not willing to listen, usually to something important the speaker has to say. Saitama isn’t looking to have a friendly “chat”, he’s trying to make a point to Tatsumaki about not attacking other heroes and laying off his new home before that gets destroyed too. So, while the use of “chat” may help to preserve the lazy informality of his speaking style, it downplays the severity of the situation and his annoyance at her not getting his point.

I personally would’ve used “Ugh, she’s not gonna listen at all, is she” or “Ugh, talking isn’t gonna work at all, is it” or a similar variation.

2. “Guess I’ll keep her company for now” (JP: 相手しとくか)

Context is everything. Just because “keep company” is the first option in a whole list of different definitions that pops up when you do a dictionary search doesn’t mean that it’s the right definition to use for a translation/localization. Nor does it mean it’s how the phrase is most commonly used in practice.

I'd wager you don’t even need to have much RL experience in Japan or with Japanese people to know which definition should've been picked. Watch enough shonen and sports anime with the original Japanese audio and you’ll soon learn that any time there is a pair activity, game and most importantly, a fight, 相手 i.e. “aite” refers to “opponent”. In a classroom setting, being asked to “相手して” doesn’t mean to keep a student “company”, it means to take up the opposite role in pair work. I’d add that in the close to 15 years I’ve spent studying and/or speaking Japanese, and the 3.5 years spent living and working in Japan, I’ve never heard this phrase being used to mean “keep somebody company” - but since experience can also be subjective, let’s just look at what we can be certain about: context, and our own knowledge of the target language and all its nuances.

a. Context - What’s happening, and who is saying it: Are they fighting? Yes. As opponents? Yes. Is Saitama referring to their fight and a strategy he's going to take (i.e. letting her tire herself out)? Most certainly, yes. Is this line being said by the same guy who thinks of Fubuki only as an acquaintance who's always dragging him into her business against his will, the same guy who in the last frame of this very chapter is thinking to himself "Man I reeeeeaallly wanna go home"? Yes. Should you have picked a definition more related to fighting and opponents from the dictionary's MANY different options like, idk, "take on a rival" to base your translation on? Yyeeess??? Why wouldn't you have?

b. Decision-making when localizing a text: What does “keep somebody company” imply in English? Is there a better way to phrase this and make the localized script more representative of the situation and the character's intent, and less loaded with English meaning that isn't present anywhere else in the text? I mean, Saitama certainly isn't suddenly thinking about loneliness and company when he mentions the lack of buildings and people - a safer distance away from civilization he deliberately went to the trouble of bringing Tatsumaki to.

I'd take some creative/artistic license here myself to make the language less stiff, but would definitely have gone for something less distorted, like "Guess I'll keep her occupied for now". If unsure, then even a more literal "Guess I'll take her on for now" would do a very decent job of conveying Saitama's intent, staying faithful to the original language without sounding too stiff when inserted into the sentence they came up with.

But well, who'm I to talk, eh? Translators are humans, there's no way to be completely objective in any interpretation, and they still do far more work than I am willing/able to do for this manga every update. I just wonder if they were letting certain biases guide their interpretations rather more than usual this time. Suffice to say, I'll be very curious to see how the guys at Viz choose to frame this bit for the official English TLs.

#one punch man #opm manga spoilers #opm #translations #my translations #kinda

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lesbiangummybearmafia · 30 days ago

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Having a night, so to ground me and destruct me I decided to do this.

These Are Sure Some Asks

What do you really need right now? My favorite person to snuggle with and fall asleep in her arms.

What are some of the things that have made you who you are? Pain, trauma and love

What are some of your pet peeves? Stupid, bigoted, ignorant, annoying people!

Share a dark thought? (Go on, vent a little) need my time machine to go back and kill baby Trump, Hilter, Mussolini, Stalin, and any other evil SOB!

Something that makes you ridiculously happy? Just being with my favorite person, listening to her talk, being in her presence, talking to her for hours. Seeing her smile and laugh, making her laugh. Learning new things about her no matter how small. Finding out things we have in common. Having everything in my gut, body and soul screaming at me that she's who I've been waiting for my whole life.

What are you craving? My favorite person! I only got to see her for a very short time today and I wasn't nearly enough.

Song stuck in your head? Electric Love - Borns

Last thing you watched? Metlock

Shows on your watch list? Before, The Floor, New episodes of Bob's Bugers, How To Die Alone

Books on your reading list? Not really a book reader so I'm going with fanfic. Been reading new Brenda x Sharon and Janeway x Seven fics

Something on your wish list? My favorite person 😘 naked spread out on 1000 thread count sheets!! Spending hours making love to her.

Something you want to monologue about? Omg so much! The climate crisis, the state of the government in the US, how broken every single system is in the US, how the Republicans party must be dissolved to save the US because it just became breeding ground for fascism! About all the outrageous lies the Right tells about immigration and immigrants!! How the US has stop supporting Israel! About the genocide of the Palestinians!! How the lgbtqia+ community is being targeted in our country, especially our trans brothers and sisters! The war on women's reproductive rights. Which is horrible but is ultimately a red herring to control women's freedom once again. I can keep going...

If you were a note, what note would you be? I'll be truthfully I'm confused by this one. So I'll go with I'd be heart shape Post-It 😉🩷

Tactician, fighter, generalist, or supportive role? Generalist

Talk about a stuffie. Ok I'll tell about my teddy bear Orli. Got him at build a bear, he no longer available at the store. He has velvety fabric and super cute that why I choose him. I got him atleast 15 years ago, I was also a fully grown adult when I got him. I don't quite remember why I went to build a bear that day I got him or why. It was just meant to be. Because he's helped quite alot with my anxiety over the years. He was one of the only things I was allow to have when I was admitted into a level one psychiatric hospital 7 years ago, when I tried to commit suicide. Helped me through through that and everything that's followed. If there was fire he would be the first important possession I'm grabbing! I sleep with him every night and he's on bed the rest of the time. I'd be lost without him! He might be a stuffie but he's like family too! I get panicky when I can find him. He's a bit rough now, but fuck so am I. 😁

They say you can tell a lot about a person from the state of their desk... Do you have a desk? Can you describe it? No desk, I use my bed as my desk and complete chaos! But it reflects the chaos of anxiety ridden mind.

Space, enchanted forest, magical kingdom, or underwater city? Nope on all this jazz. I'm more I want to live in version of Los Angeles in Blade Runner or any other futuristic city I was told about in books, movies, anime and TV shows in the 80s and 90s!!

What are some of the meanings of your name? (Or url if you don't want to say.) I was a little high when I came up with it. So it's like this: I'm a lesbian, I like gummy bears and I was listening to Swedish House Mafia that night I came up with it. So I got, lesbiangummybearmafia 🤩

What fictional doctor do you wish was your doctor? The Doc from Voyager

Are you a gamer? What was the last game you played? I'm a old school gamer. It was Mario Kart

How do you take your pizza? Another favorite it black olive, mushroom and pepperoni

Strangest thing that has happened to you this week? Got told that I'm basically a New Yorker, a new friend told me this. Way she figures it since both my parents were born in New York I have in my blood. Since she's from New York she should know. She said it's because I'm straight forward, blunt, can detect bullshit a 1000 feet. All that the New Yorker in me. I'm perfectly fine with that!

Share a bit of philosophy? This to shall pass, it could always be worse, put positive out it does actually come back to you, fight for yourself (that actually works to) others will fight with you!

Do you follow the news? Most of time...but not right now.

What's on your mind? My favorite person!

What is your dream mode of transportation? Transporters from Star Trek and Flying Cars from Blade Runner

What fascinates you about humanity? How we can be both infinitely kind and infinitely evil. Both should not be able to survive in a single species. However humanity is living proof that this is to be true. Also the complexities of the human brain. It's very much runs in ways like computer and yet we have emotions that seem to on a logically level make no freakin sense. Yet it these very emotions that are responsible for some of humanities most beautiful things like art, music, movies, books, poetry, sex, love, romantic, happiness, joy, family, etc.

What about life makes you smile? My favorite person ie, the woman in RL I very much have deep feelings for. She's made me realize that I want to be in a relationship again. Also perhaps those signs I've been waiting for finally showed up 😍

What is your favourite way to create? I have many. I like to free write, write fanfic, write songs, draw, paint, made collages, make quotes posters, make edits, sing, bed dance, car dance, bathtub dance, do nail art, do crafts, etc.

Insert your own question here! Awesome ok

Design your own music festival any artist are allow, both living and dead, who would be on line up?

Tagging all my followers and friends!

#questions and answers #These Are Sure Some Asks #asks

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aestheticvoyage2024 · 3 months ago

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Day 251: Saturday September 7, 2024 - "Brunch in Napa"

We enjoyed a nice easy morning together at the hotel in the Berkeley Marina, where William enjoyed the boats and the pool while I enjoyed the cool weather. We beat the heat here this weekend and there was no reason to rush home - after all, we had the rental to five and surely thered be later flights from Oakland to Phoenix. Audrie and I both came to the same conclusion to just let the day flow, and since I had the idea of a return leg to Napa (I was last here ten years ago, when the earth shook, very literally, the weekend before I decided to come off the road), she just let me skip-to-the-lou and lead the way for a nice day. The view was spectacular, the air is fresh and cool - I am glad that she had the same idea - I made sure she was rewarded as handsomely as I could provide. Which started with brunch on the back patio of Downtown Joes. I enjoyed some california benedict, and didn't even pay attention to what anyone else had ordered because my own was so damn good. The coffee fresh and Mama enjoyed a bottomless mimosa that the staff kept full with alacrity, mostly because our little lion was bringing them all so much joy. In fact, when we were done eating they both, separately, at the same idea of giving William Ice creams - so he got two. And he ate them both. Audrie was blown away by how memorably friendly everyone was, and I was happy myself to know that what I experienced myself ten years ago was no fluke. Yea, its a cool vibe right? If you look in the right places!

We walked the town and the makers market, and the streets, and pointed out some of the damage to old buildings from that quake in 2014. Some restored - some not. After sipping a glass of wine on the front hearth of Vermeils, I led the family down Main Street to where the oldet building in town was, the same that spotlighted my photoaday back in 2014 - with its big yellow old timey rocks spleighed out in the street. I wanted to know if that got put back together - and oh what a doozy of story that ended up becoming. The old Vinters Collective building was indeed rebuilt and was still indeed the old structure in Napa. But more than that, this place played a central role in making the moment of this day's story. By the time we'd left Audrie's purse was lighter and soul free-er and happier and both of us were satisfied with a replenished old feeling of being in flow with the universe. William had learned to uncork a wine bottle, and we had new Napa friends to add to our Christmas list. And it was neat that our hostess was as excited about all of it as we were. We could tell that authentically we had really made her day. And she was so in love with us that she gladly is shipping us our wine that Audrie picked out. 3 hours later - that trip up to Napa was declaratively a success. Happy Wife, Happy Life. We need more of this in our lives and we both know it. This is us at our best and I was happy to think of the universe winking at me with it this weekend with the rental car guy, the hotel lady, and now our hostess in Napa all giving us really positive feedback - as if we maybe have unlocked something new.

We now hustled back to Oakland to make that "later flight" that we were sure would be avaialble and was, and I had set us up for success by driving to Phoenix Friday morning to make this commute back as stress free as possible - and it was, Audrie stressed, but I reminded her that she had a lot of mimmosa and wine! It actually timed up perfect, and I was grateful to have my teammate with me for the return jaunt - everything is easier with Mama. We would make it home by 9 and then sit up eating noodle bowls talking about precious moments and what worked and how good we had done together. Building something - and setting some markers out there. Napa can be a place in the world that we know will always be kind to us - it always has to me and that more than the wine can always be our happy reason to come back here.

Song: Led Zeppelin - Going To California

Quote: “In uncertainty I am certain that underneath their topmost layers of frailty men want to be good and want to be loved. Indeed, most of their vices are attempted shortcuts to love. When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror. It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.

We have only one story. All novels, all poetry, are built on the never-ending contest in ourselves of good and evil. And it occurs to me that evil must constantly re-spawn, while good, while virtue, is immortal. Vice has always a new fresh young face, while virtue is venerable as nothing else in the world is.”

–John Steinbeck, East of Eden

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likes-words-and-shrimp · 11 months ago

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Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Characters: Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel, Genis Sage, Raine Sage, Zelos Wilder, Sheena Fujibayashi, Regal Bryant, Presea Combatir, Kratos Aurion, Yuan Ka-Fai, Dirk (Tales of Symphonia), Frank Brunel Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Wingfic, Eventual Romance, Mutual Pining, Self-Acceptance, Happy Ending, POV Multiple, Body Horror, Transformation Words: 36,180 Summary:

Lloyd had never been too fond of his wings. But they were still useful, and convenient when they needed to be. It only made sense to use what he had. Until his wings changed one night, and became permanent, with real feathers attached to bone. And they were heavy.

Looking back on 2023, I think one fic I'm really proud of writing is this one, a multichapter Symphonia fic I was able to complete, with a focus on Lloyd and his wings taking on a different transformation. It's seven chapters of Lloyd and Colette dealing with the painful and difficult changes, but also the rest of the party helping them on this new shift in their journey. If you decide to read it, I hope you enjoy!

Just have some more additional thoughts for this fic under the cut:

Since this year for Colloyd Week was going to be its 5th year running, and it was also Symphonia's 20th anniversary, me and @frayed-symphony wanted to do something a bit more special with the prompts this time. We decided to bring back some prompts from previous weeks while still using a new quote day and the usual free day. (Here's the prompt list with her art which everyone should see) With that in mind, I also wanted to do something a bit different for myself writing-wise, and tell a story over the course of each of the prompts!

The tidbit about mana wings eventually becoming more feathered versions is actually a bit of lore taken from the Kratos novel. Essentially, if an angel uses it for too long, the wings will become a permanent part of the body, the mana solidifying into feathers. That's why we see a lot of angels in Welgaia floating about with feathered wings, and explains why Kratos, Yuan and Mithos don't keep theirs out consistently. And the reason for the title, it's from the Lloyd's Thoughts on Angels skit because I thought it would be fun to make all those angelic issues relevant for this fic.

I really wanted to use this bit of canon lore for Lloyd, and whether it's an effect of his unique Exsphere, or anything else, his wings succumb to the same transformation. But, well, it's more than just the wings changing here.

I also wanted to play more with Lloyd's self-consciousness here and the guilt he probably still carries with him when he failed to notice Colette suffering in time. Lloyd is also the unifying force for the party where he helps inspire and lift them up from each member's own troubles, but I also wanted to see this reversed while Lloyd is going through his own baggage and past traumas. It was also more interesting to write about Lloyd going through physical changes the way Colette did in the game and have that comfort role-reversed.

A lot of this fic was a learning process! The wings in Symphonia are just a favorite aesthetic for me, and learning about how they can change was really intriguing, so much of this fic centered around the Wings prompt. I was also planning on having everyone play a part with the Soulmates prompt, which I felt was fitting for Symphonia's anniversary year. Much of the later half of the story came as it went, like with the focus on Dirk, and the very last chapter that's a few years in the future, where Lloyd has a better handle on who he is now.

Change itself is also something I just wanted to focus on overall; how we change as people, or how our loved ones change over time. And sometimes change is frightening, but it can also be exciting and learning to accept and welcome it can also feel rewarding in the end. I think I wanted to show that in this fic, though how well I succeeded kinda depends on the reading, and maybe I was heavy-handed with the wings metaphor haha.

But also, I just wanted to write a longer cute ship fic of my OTP. That's another reason. :D

Compared to most chaptered fics, this isn't very long, but I like that it's contained enough at just over 36k. I still have other Symphonia WIPs I want to finish, but I'm really proud of completing this one, and a big thank you to those who've read and commented on this fic! Symphonia has always been special to me and I'm glad I could celebrate both the game and my favorite ship this way.

Around the new year, I'll probably make a Symphonic fic recs list for stories I've read this year. If you read this far, hope you'll look forward to it!

#tales of symphonia #lloyd irving #colette brunel #colloyd #fanfiction #shrimpy rambles #this got a bit rambly but just wanted to finally jot some thoughts down #thank you again for people who were part of the week it def made my year

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my-burnt-city · 1 year ago

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Fandom terms glossary

I am aware that we talk a lot of nonsense and that many of the things we say must sound like we are speaking in tongues to the uninitiated, so I have put together a wee glossary of some of the more useful and some of the more chaotic terminologies in the hopes that at least one person will find something helpful within

PD - Punchdrunk; TBC - The Burnt City; SNM - Sleep No More; TDM - The Drowned Man

WM - White Mask (noun); because we simply cannot be typing out " a u d i e n c e m e m b e r " every single time we want to shout out a cool loop buddy or discuss interesting flocking behaviour or just make it really clear we're talking about punters rather than employees

WM - White Mask (verb); for when a performer or other employee is watching the show as an audience member, for example: "I saw Milton WMing the Zagreus loop, I laughed to myself every time he took an unnecessary shortcut"

BM - Black Mask; because it would be EVEN WORSE to have to type out "member of the FOH team or backstage crew" every single time we want to sing the praises of these deeply integral and yet purposefully-mostly-invisible heroes

(FOH - Front Of House; queue wranglers, box office team, cloakroom crew, bar staff, stewards, everyone with a job that's to do with keeping the audience happy and organised as opposed to keeping the show itself running)

Red/blue casting - there are two basic casting configurations, the red cast and the blue cast, because this is a full-on three-hour dance show with no interval. Punchdrunk therefore make sure the performers alternate between travelling characters and resident characters so they don’t burn out and die from playing someone like Apollo or Iphigenia eight times a week. Once you learn who’s who in each cast, it gets easier to predict who you might see in which roles at any given performance, but because people sometimes go on holiday, or get injured, or pursue other short-term projects, or just like to mix it up, it is never completely possible to predict who you will see in any given role on any given night (apart from Hades, who is usually Sam Booth, and Furnace, who is almost always Sam Parker; go on HOLIDAY, Sams)

(NB: when people say a show is looking a bit purple, that means the cast list is more mixed up than the usual blue/red+covers+swings, and some people are playing the roles they wouldn't usually be playing for that night's performance)

Red cast - a small selection of point characters to watch out for to tell if it's a red cast show: Agamemnon (Rob), Iphigenia (Lou), Apollo (Seirian), Hecuba (Kat), Polydorus (Jordan), Orpheus (Naomi)

Blue cast - a small selection of point characters to watch out for to tell if it's a blue cast show: Agamemnon (Jon), Iphigenia (Fern), Apollo (Georges), Hecuba (Emily), Polydorus (Ferghas), Orpheus (Cristina)

Swing/(cover) - the swings are a small but mighty army of performers who have no fixed schedule and are able to play up to eight different roles each to cover holidays and other absences. Where we have taken our other terminologies from Punchdrunk directly, “cover” is my own term for people like Milton and Omar, whose entire job is to cover the resident roles on other cast members’ regular shows off without having to tap into the army of swings. Covers are a little more predictable than swings, as they play fewer roles and are pretty likely to be performing in the majority of shows in a week; swings are impossible to predict unless you have insider knowledge. Some performers are in the red/blue cast pattern and are able to play a couple of additional roles besides so might occasionally swing into one of these other roles, just without being referred to as a swing; some performers (MITCH) are only regularly scheduled for one of the two colour casts so will always be swinging if they’re performing on another night

Travelling character - a higher-intensity role, often (though not always) dance-heavy, often (though not always) seen moving between Greece and Troy. Performers usually get one show off per week in addition to no-show days, and this generally will not fall on a day when they are scheduled to be playing their travelling role. If you prefer Big Story to supporting players, follow a travelling character: Hades, Persephone, Artemis, Apollo, Hecuba, Cassandra, Polydorus, Polyxena, Polymestor, Agamemnon, Clytemnestra, Iphigenia, Aegisthus, Neoptolemus, Patroclus

Resident character - a lower-intensity role, less likely to be dance-heavy, less likely to be seen moving between Greece and Troy. Performers usually get one show off per week in addition to no-show days, and this generally will fall on a day when they are scheduled to be playing their resident role. If you prefer low-level weirdos to major players, follow a resident character: Macaria, Luba, Kampe, Eurydice, Zagreus, Askalaphos, Kronos, Laocoön, Oracle, Watchman

RD - rehearsal director; mostly there to keep an eye on the performers and performances. They rehearse with new performers, they rehearse with established performers in new roles, they rehearse with established performers in established roles in new scenes, they watch the show to identify any areas that might need tightening up, they get final say over whether a performer is ready to take audience members for 1:1s, and they even perform in the show (either semi-regularly like Lily and Omagbitse or as needed like Sarah, Natalie and Eric). If you ever see a familiar-looking WM carrying a notebook, congrats! You’ve spotted an RD in the wild!

C1 - Contract 1, 22nd March 2022 to 8th January 2023; C2 - Contract 2, 11th January 2023 to currently unconfirmed (and not even strongly rumoured at this point but nonetheless suspected by this individual blogger to be due some time in September) 24th September 2023 (😭😭😭)

Walk-out - when a performer takes a WM by the hand, leads them out of the finale, and removes their mask for them at the end of the show. There are variations on the theme but that's the basic shape for all of 'em

Walk-through - when a performer takes a WM by the hand and leads them from the Troy finale to the Mycenae finale

Shopty - there was a party back in the days of TDM. If your ticket was for both the show and the party, then it had SHO+PTY printed on it. Just a portmanteau for show+party, the nickname has stuck even if the tickets don’t have the shorthand on them anymore

The Souk - there's an off-limits area behind Ciacco's and Hades's house that was labelled as the Souk on PD's original planning documents. This area is inaccessible to audience members and unlikely to ever be opened up, but it does occasionally come up in conversation so it's not not useful to have a name for it

Chaos casting - generally refers to a show that has a greater than usual number of swings performing, which makes for a greater than usual number of exciting new performance choices to watch, but can also refer to the idea of a performer taking on an unexpected role

The Expendables - there are a few characters that the show can function without, so when there's just not enough cast members around, these are the first to be cut. They are (in order of most-to-least likely to be cut): Eurydice, Kronos, Askalaphos, Laocoön, Oracle, Luba, Orpheus, Peep host, Persephone. Yes, the show can function and has functioned without PERSEPHONE. Also, shout-out to that one performance where the usual ‘two Peep hosts + Orpheus’ trio was Literally Just Lily, what a show that must have been!

Lonely X Show - mostly just Zagreus, tbh, a Lonely Zagreus Show/Loop gets a special name because his story so strongly revolves around Eurydice that it's a rare and fascinating treat to see what he gets up to when she isn't there. Though that said, there was also once a Lonely Hades Show, and I would pay VIP prices for the opportunity to witness that for myself one day so PD should definitely consider revisiting that some time

Ghost loop - when a character is missing for whatever reason, but you follow their usual path around the space anyway, guided only by memory, sound and light

Lilydorus - once, back in the mists of last November, the online cast list announced we were due to have Lily play Polydorus. They chickened out in the end but the idea of an incredibly unusual piece of chaos casting has stuck with us since, and a Lilydorus is therefore a piece of casting that is so unusual that you'd be more inclined to think it a data input mistake than a genuine debut (which it almost certainly is, but you're still going to hop on a train and book a last-minute ticket while speeding your way to Woolwich just in case)

Peeple - a Wordle-type game which picks up the performers from the daily online cast list and lets you test your casting skills by having you list who you think each performer is playing at that evening’s performance

Swingo - when you have seen a swing play every character in their repertoire, you have achieved swing bingo: Swingo! Some people like to impose additional rules for themselves, like they must have had a 1:1 from the performer, or they must have been walked out by the performer at least once, but I just play by the bare minimum “followed for at least one loop per performer/character combo (and yes loop 1 counts)” rules

Team Kronos - there are no real rules for being a member of Team Kronos; you don’t need to have followed him a certain number of times, you don’t need to have had the 1:1, you just have to dig his vibes. Anyone who wants to can declare themselves a member of Team Kronos (I suspect that some performers who have played this role would not count as Team Kronos members)

Character nicknames heard in-show - Pols, Polydogface, Polydoofus (Polydorus), Skally (Askalaphos), Zaggy (Zagreus), Iphy (Iphigenia), Neo (Neoptolemus), Pat (Patroclus)

Character nicknames used by the fandom - PolyD (Polydorus), PolyX (Polyxena), PolyM (Polymestor), Aska, Asky, Bird Boy (Askalaphos), Aggers, Aggy (Agamemnon), Cly (Clytemnestra), Aeggy, Eggman (Aegisthus)

Character nicknames used by Punchdrunk no matter how hard performers and audience alike push back against it - Eury (Eurydice)

#the burnt city #burnt city #punchdrunk #punchdrunk theatre #immersive theatre #immersive #fandom glossary #just wm things

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chronicallybloodless · 1 year ago

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Heavy to Hold - Chapter 17

Timing

Pairing: Astarion x enby!tav Status: in progress Rating: Explicit (18+ only) Genre: angst/comfort | slow burn Alternating second-person POV Contains spoilers for the whole game basically TW: it's an astarion fic: descriptions of trauma, abuse, sexual violence, etc. | smut | full tag list on AO3 Read from the beginning: AO3 | Tumblr Listen to the Playlist

You were torn—you had imagined a night like this more times than you could count, but you couldn’t help but question the timing. Why now? Was it the wine? And was it giving him the courage to say what he truly felt, or was it simply lowering his standards?

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Tav's POV

You collapsed, breathless, after playing your tenth song of the night with Alfira. The Tieflings visiting your camp were relentless in their demand for bardic performances. They didn't seem to care that while they were packing their belongings in the safety of the grove, you and your companions were busy clearing out an encampment full of goblin cultists.

With the camp cleared, and the archdruid Halsin safely returned to his grove, the Tieflings were "lightening their load" for the trip to Baldur's Gate by drinking a significant portion of wine. It would of course have been rude for you to refuse their offer of hospitality.

So, there you were, several glasses deep, voice almost hoarse, fingers aching from plucking the strings of your lyre, seated on a large crate as you tried to catch your breath and make the world around you stop spinning. Your companions were enjoying themselves as well, having adapted quickly to their role as champions of the defenseless—even those that had originally questioned the merit of your decision to help the Tieflings.

"You seem to be having a pleasant evening."

You turned to find Halsin offering you another glass of wine, his broad chest filing most of your view.

“I'm just happy to see everyone so relieved." You smiled as you took the glass. This vintage was sweeter than the glasses you had been given by the Tieflings throughout the night—perhaps this was from the Druids’ stores.

“They are relieved thanks to your efforts, as am I." He gave a slight bow. "I would still be locked in that cell if it weren't for you."

"Can't say I've saved many archdruids before.” You chuckled. You weren’t exactly sure if his statement was true—it was hard to believe that someone who could turn themselves into a giant bear would be held anywhere they didn’t want to be for very long.

"Well that would mean that you are unfamiliar with how deeply we feel our gratitude.” He extended a hand towards you, inviting you to dance to the song Alfira had started to play.

“Pardon the interruption,” You felt a hand on your shoulder, along with the familiar scent of bergamot and rosemary. “But one of the Tieflings—the loud one, Zevlor, I think—was looking for you.”

“Surely he can wait a moment while I entertain our esteemed guest?” Halsin frowned. You felt Astarion’s grip on your shoulder tighten.

“No, he insisted that it was quite urgent.”

You craned your neck to look at Astarion. You knew that it was unlikely that he was really here to find Halsin. Presumably he was just ready for his dinner.

“So be it.” The Druid sighed. “Save a dance for me, Tav?”

“Another time, Halsin.” You nodded politely. Halsin turned and began his search for Zevlor, who was sure to be surprised to learn that he was looking for the Druid.

“Well, now that the bear is gone, how about the two of us have our own little party, hmmm?” Astarion was still standing behind you, his protective grip relaxed.

You turned to face him. He was brandishing a bottle of wine in his free hand, though from the sway in his posture it seemed it was not the first one of the night for him, either.

“And what kind of party did you have in mind?” You raised your eyebrow at him.

“Well, the kind that two people have privately in the woods without anyone else around.”

“Sounds like a normal night for us.”

“True, but I was hoping that you might be interested in a bit more than our normal routine.”

Your heart skipped a beat. After all the times you had been alone with Astarion, he had never suggested taking things any further than necessary for him to feed. Even the night before when you stumbled upon him taking a bath, nothing had happened beyond a chaste hug.

Well, maybe it wasn’t that chaste, but if he wasn’t going to acknowledge the fact that he had a hard-on, you certainly weren’t going to embarrass him by calling attention to it.

“Is that where the wine comes in?” You gestured towards the bottle in his hand. “That will be refreshing; generally you’re the only one who gets to quench your thirst when we go out.” You teased.

“Gods, this stale water wishes it qualified as wine.” He crinkled his nose in disgust. “I do wish I had a finer vintage to share with you on an evening such as this.” He gently tilted your chin upwards, finding your gaze. “Fortunately for me, there are other things in this camp worth tasting.”

“Laying it on thick tonight, are we?” You couldn’t help the blush that was spreading across your cheeks.

“Perhaps I am simply saying aloud what I have been thinking all along.” His voice lowered.

As much as you wanted what he was offering, you couldn’t understand why he had suddenly made a move. The risk of ruining what you had with him was too great. You needed to talk with him more, hopefully with less wine in his system—you had to buy some time.

“I’ll find you later—it would be impolite to leave a party in our honor so early.”

“I’ll be waiting—once the others are asleep.” He looked at you with lust in his eyes. “I wouldn’t want us to be interrupted.”

“Of course.”

He turned and began to meander back towards his tent, bottle in hand. You sighed. Somehow your relaxing evening had just become difficult.

“So….Astarion seems to be having a good time.” You heard Shadowheart huff as she approached.

“He does…..apparently he’d like it to continue later.” You muttered as you watched him fade into the crowd of Tieflings.

“Shar protect us, there must be something in this awful wine.” She folded her arms. “I’ve been fielding lustful advances all evening.”

“Well I appreciate that you’ve let them all keep their limbs.”

“I can always take Astarion’s if he’s behaving inappropriately?”

“It’s not inappropriate….or unwelcome, for that matter. It’s just….I don’t understand the timing.” You shook your head and sighed.

“Don’t you go out with him every night anyway?”

“Well, yes, but not like that.”

“Wait…Tav. Do you mean you haven’t been….”

“Nope. Not once. I mean, sometimes the feedings get a little….suggestive, but nothing has happened I swear. And now suddenly he’s offering, and well…….”

“Gods, no wonder you were so pent up with that priest. I suppose he took the hint you gave Abdirak.”

“Hint?”

“You know, screaming Astarion’s name in the middle of various moans of pleasure?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

“I….what?” You thought for a moment, trying to recall what had happened. “Oh hells, that was out loud? He heard that?”

“I think half the goblin camp heard it.”

You placed your head in your hands.

“Shit.”

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