#he lied in the forms of the monologus

[juststandingthere]

ISTG this game is making me insane, brainrot strong enough for me to make my first analysis post

One thing i love about the narrative is how distorted the characters, relationships and events are from jimmy's pov. Most posts discussing this focus on Anya, and it makes sense bc she's probably the biggest victim of this. She's seen as less than a person, she's an incompetent nurse, she has a meek personality, she'll let anyone(jimmy) step over her and she still follows his orders, despite everything he has done to her. We obviously see, from curly's pov, that she's simply too terrified of her abuser to act any other way, and when she's not with him she's way more confident and competent.

I haven't seen as many people talking about how this "distortion" affects Swansea and Daisuke as well, including the relationship they have with each other.

We see, in the first Curly section, that Swansea is a great mentor to Daisuke (one might even say they have a father-son/uncle-nephew relationship). He takes his time to teach him not just the basics, but also how to do his job as safely as possible. He lets him take notes, he himself writes stuff down for him to remember and even lets him doodle on those notes! Sure he is harsh with him, but he clearly cares about him and wants him to be safe.

And in return Daisuke looks up to him and has great respect for him, as both a mechanic and a man, while he also makes some jokingly offensive comments towards the older man, showing the close bond they have formed.

But that's not what we see when we play as Jimmy.

In his pov we don't see them interacting much, when they do we either see Swansea insulting Daisuke for no apparent reason or, in one occasion, we see him leading the kid down a "bad path" wanting to teach him how to "drink like a man".

When they aren't interacting tho, we do see hints of their actual relationship: Swansea asking where the kid is when he is "partying" in the lounge, confirming that he does not, in fact, hate spending time with him; him looking desperately for something, *anything*, that could help Daisuke with his suffering after he's injured; how whenever Jimmy tries to bring up to Daisuke how "badly" Swansea treats him, or how he "lied" to them about the utility room, Daisuke immediately shuts him down, because he knows what he's saying is completely wrong (i'm pretty sure those are the only times he doubts something Jimmy says), showing once again the trust and respect he has for his mentor.

(this part is kinda speculative but i think it makes sense)

There are two other times where we see them interacting, where we actually see how much Swansea cares for the kid, and coincidentally, neither of them is seen through Jimmy's eyes, but from a third person pov: what Swansea says right before they knock him out with the drink, about how he resents the people that let Daisuke, someone with his whole life ahead of him, with so much optimism and joy, board the ship for a job that would inevitably leave him "mangled" and "smarter in a worse way" (i could make a whole other essay on this part but i won't), and what he says right before mercy killing him. In that scene specifically, as the camera pans out in the corridor as Swansea raises his axe, ready to take the final swing, Jimmy doesn't see the hesitation in his body language, the way his body tenses, the way he comforts the kid, telling him to close his eyes, the heavy breaths (crying?maybe?) right after the act. He only sees the older man as a monster that would take away an innocent life that jimmy would have been able to fix had he been given the time to fucking think.

Hell, now that i think about it, Swansea's final monologue, where we find out that he is in fact a good man who tried his best to better himself, who simply wanted to protect the kid and give him "a chance off this goddamn rock"(implying that the Cryopod was meant for Daisuke all along) is also shown in third person!

A few other things i found interesting:

1-The missing pieces between what happened to Daisuke in the vent and when Swansea started attacking Jimmy. There's a cut from when Daisuke screams to when he's laying on (Swansea's) bed, bloody and in pain; from when Jimmy uses the mouthwash to disinfect him (which only causes him to suffer more) and two hours later; from after the talk the two men have and the moment Jimmy decides to go find the gun, the axe gone from Daisuke's face. What happened in those missing scenes? Was Swansea the one who helped the kid onto his bed, trying to make him as comfortable as possible? Did he try to comfort him, to distract him, and ease his pain as well as he could? What was his reaction when he had to take back the axe off the face of the young man he had started seeing as his own kid, whose life he had hoped he could save but that he ultimately had to take with his own hands?

I personally think those parts are blocked out of Jimmy's mind, as he couldn't fit them in his own narrative, where he was the hero, Swansea the villain and Daisuke the innocent, young man whose life he tried his best to protect from this "monster" that was now going to come after him.

2-Swansea attacking Jimmy with the axe, especially the cemetery scene, and how it can be interpreted in different ways.

We, the viewers, knowing everything that happened, will see it as a desperate man, Swansea, trying to avenge the lives that had been lost on that ship because of Jimmy (wether directly or not), with Daisuke's death being the last straw. But i don't think that's how Jimmy saw it. He saw swansea as a crazed, mad man, a ruthless killer, coming for him after taking an innocent life, Daisuke's photo and mausoleum as a reminder for Jimmy of what the older man had done, and a justification for what he was about to do.

(not to talk about the implication that the fight against swansea was not as intense as we saw it, only confirming the idea that jimmy was looking for a justification for shooting him)

[lurkingshan]

I absolutely loved the first two episodes of Love in the Big City, and I thought all of the adaptation choices were brilliant, but the part that hit me most as I was watching and that my mind keeps circling back to relates to this question from @bengiyo:

In the novel, we see everything through Young's rather biting and cynical internal monologue, while in the drama we see other characters through a broader lens. With this different perspective, how does Mi Ae's outing of Go Yeong and the fallout change compared to the novel?

I think for me, this shift that allowed us to see Mi Ae outside of Yeong's perspective enhanced my empathy for her and for the choices she made. Because it all comes back to this quote, originally from the novel and used verbatim in the show:

"Through me, she learned that being a gay man sucks, and through her, I learned that being a woman equally sucks."

Yeong and Mi Ae connected with each other because they were both living outside the accepted norms and were isolated and lonely as a result. The forms of oppression they experienced were not the same, but it was a point of connection and the foundation of their deep bond. They fell in love with each other because of their shared choice to be themselves loudly, and fuck the social consequences. They were each other's most important person, regardless of who they were dating. And so when Mi Ae, shaken up after her abortion and exhausted by trying to fight the social tide, made the choice to stop being true to herself and conform, of course Yeong felt abandoned. And then when she outed him to protect her conformity, betrayed.

In the novel, we learn about Mi Ae (Jaehee) outing Yeong (Young) from him, and it's presented to us as a callous betrayal, because that's how it felt to him. But in the show, we get to see Mi Ae make that decision. We see how cornered she felt when her boyfriend confronted her about the lies she'd been telling, we see his genuine (justified) upset at learning she'd been living with a man he doesn't know, we see her panicking and reaching for something to smooth it over, and we can see that in the moment, it feels reasonable to her to tell her partner the truth. We can see that it wasn't malicious, and she did not intend to hurt Yeong.

But it still hurts, because in making that decision, she implicitly acknowledged that Yeong is no longer her most important person. Someone else, or at least the idea of what he represents, became her top priority, and she protected her romantic relationship rather than protecting Yeong. She still loved Yeong, but she wouldn't put him first any longer, and when she made that choice their relationship as they knew it was over. Mi Ae was ultimately captivated by the allure of social acceptance, and she chose a path of conformity that was not open to Yeong--she is, after all, a cishet woman and able to revert to societal expectations much more easily than Yeong ever could as a gay man who would struggle to pass even if he wanted to. Her choice was confirmation that, in fact, their situations do not equally suck, and she retreated to her privileged identity, leaving him behind.

And so we come to the scene that punched me in the heart more than any other in this first section: the two of them singing together at her wedding, taking one last glorious moment to be themselves again in front of people who would never understand them. In that moment I felt so sad for Yeong, that this relationship that meant so much to him was irrevocably changed, and for Mi Ae, that she abandoned these aspects of herself out of fear and committed herself to a man who looked stunned to see a glimpse of the real her. And more than anything, I felt sad about how isolating and alienating it feels to simply exist in the margins of what is socially acceptable, that conforming is always the easier choice for those who can hide, and that Yeong was once again left to struggle alone.

[brittle-doughie]

Introducing the Y/N plush! And the cookies and what they do with said plush!

The cookie in the second image are, shining glitter, pomegranate, chess choco twins, golden cheese, caramelon, custard the lll, black pearl, licorice, lychee, komiho, Affogato, lilac, onion, stardust, space doughnut, timekeeper, shadow milk, white lily, snap dragon, pitya, abyss monarch and fire spirit. And if your wondering, the two drawings took 6 hours total-)

The Earthbread Big Seller!

I can tell which of the two took you the longest. I would like to know what it says next to Snapdragon if you can!

“Amazing Y/N Plush! Collect your very own doll to keep. Be the first one on your block to own the amazing new Y/N Plush! Please do not fight over them!”

[A large line had formed at Butterbear’s shop! Cookies of the sea and sky have emerged too to get their very own plush!]

Many fans had considered Shining Glitter’s latest show to be one of her best! She couldn’t take all of the credit though, she had help!

She cuddled close the Y/N plush she had next to her mic stand. She can count on it to allow her to give it her all, as if Y/N themself was watching her!

Having her own plush hold up a mirror for her to help fix her hair up already made itself more useful to Pomegranate than a certain cookie in the CoD.

She took a quick look around before she took it with her to bed, dozing off with the plushie clutched tightly in her arms.

The Chess Choco duo loved that they now have an observer to their chess games in the form of their own Y/N plush! They didn’t expect one or the other to pull anything tricky, but it was nice to have some sort of reassurance that no sneaky tactics came into play!

They split the time in half with how much each of the two got to have the plush. It doesn’t stop disputes from breaking out that had Earl Grey stepping in from time to time!

One of Golden Cheese Cookie’s favorite things to do with her Y/N plush would be to dress it up in whatever amount of riches she can put on it the little doll.

One of her favorite outfits for it is one that makes the plush look like a resident of her own kingdom, complete with wings to match hers. Something she has planned for the real deal when she gets the opportunity!

Carameleon Cookie was so stoked to have a buddy to call his own within the forested areas close to the Silver Kingdom. It sure beats being alone all the time!

He can tell you that he isn’t too attached to the thing as he waits for the actual Y/N Cookie to come by. He just..doesn’t want to lose it, okay?!

It was good to have one of his loyal subjects always around to listen what he had to say! Even if it was just a plush version of them, Custard Cookie III could spend minutes just talking to the plush as if it were a real cookie!

It’s why he considers it as one of his best subjects in the kingdom! Right behind the real Y/N Cookie, of course!

Black Pearl’s Y/N plush is nothing short of the best thing to ever grace her waters. It was down to the very last detail the cookie of her dreams had.

She’d never tire of it, acting protective over the plush, something she’d be more aggressively so if the real Y/N Cookie was with her! The plush will look amazing within her dwelling!

Licorice Cookie didn’t care about Pomegranate’s venom spewing mouth these days, not when he has his bestest friend, the Y/N plush, with him!

He can truly confide his secrets and feelings towards the little plush, like his feelings towards Y/N Cookie, but it better not blab to you! He even uses the plush as a guardian for his diary!

Ha! Why wait in line for a plush when Lychee Dragon could just swipe it from that fumbler, Kumiho Cookie! She didn’t appreciate Y/N Cookie enough, so why not give it to a dragon that certainly will!

Kumiho was not having it though, angrily coming after the dragon for stealing her darling in plush form! She did not let Lychee’s lies get to her, she’s taking back that plush!

Affogato Cookie could just monologue all day to his plush on how he plans to take over the throne one day and Y/N Cookie will join him as part of that dream!

He’d promise nothing but the best life for you with a luxurious life with no worries or limits as he went to caress the plush’s cheek. The best victory would be to have you for himself while that Caramel Arrow Cookie watched! He can’t stop giggling to himself about it!

With how popular these plushies were getting, Lilac was particularly watchful of his. He already called it his own with the lilac scent and he’ll bring down anyone swiping his plush from him.

He always keeps it on his person, both as a precaution and that he has easy access to it to hold and cuddle close when he’s needy. It’s what he would’ve done to the actual Y/N Cookie.

Blackberry Cookie can always count on Y/N Cookie to help settle down Onion during one of her crying bouts, she enjoyed the company from them too. So it was a total win when she received a plush for herself and for Onion.

Onion always liked to go to bed holding both her doll and plushie to ensure a good night’s rest without the fear of a nightmare waking her up, for she trusts the Y/N plush to help her even in her dreams.

Stardust doesn’t mind sharing his Y/N plushie with his friend, Space Doughnut. After all, they share the same trait of seeing Y/N Cookie as a dear friend. Space Doughnut was just as trusting with theirs to Stardust as well!

Space Doughnut does get overly excited when they could play around with BOTH plushies, making Stardust laugh with a smile as Doughnut happily played the two plushies.

Was it really any surprise that Timekeeper Cookie wanted to be greedy and have a number of Y/N plushies? They’re her favorite, why wouldn’t she take them? It wasn’t like the original owners could prove anything against her.

Timekeeper Cookie cuddled herself amidst her plushies without a care in the world, relishing in seeing the face of the cookie she liked all around her. Though it wouldn’t hurt to try and grab a couple more to her collection…and then Y/N Cookie themself!

Shadow Milk’s puppet show was going to be wonderful with the guest of honor being Y/N Cookie themself! Almost! He was able to obtain a plushie from one of his clown faeries and he was absolutely adoring it!

The plushie is always going to be a part of his puppet shows, interacting with a doll of himself that he made. How romantic it would be if the two stuffed dolls danced and smushed together to replicate a kiss! It even made Shadow Milk himself blush at the thought of you and him possibly doing that too~

One of the faeries had gently opened White Lily’s glass case, placing down a Y/N plush they had gotten for her. She immediately grabbed it and clutched it tight close to her, a smile on her face being the indicator that she liked the plush already.

One of the faeries had gotten curious about what made this plushie so dear to her as she reached for it and tried to pull it out of her arms. She had to quickly reel her hand back when White Lily swiped at it, nuzzling the plushie closer to her body, shielding it from any further attempts.

Pitaya Dragon Cookie didn’t expect Snapdragon to enjoy their Y/N plush that much to the point that they whined for Pitaya to hand it over to them. While this was meant to be for Pitaya only, they didn’t mind it as they give it to the young dragon.

Snapdragon immediately swiped it up and flies around with the doll in their arms, babbling happily as they played around with the stuff toy. Pitaya couldn’t help but smile at the sight, it was just like when Y/N Cookie would play with Snapdragon themself…

Abyss Monarch Cookie didn’t find themself going out much, especially for something as small as a stuffed plush. Yet there they were, having went out and gotten a Y/N to call their own.

This sense of adoration they start to feel for this plush was almost on the same level as they had for Y/N Cookie themself. They gently picked it up and spun slowly around with it, was this feeling a sign and not a temporary emotion? This feeling of…longing…

Fire Spirit was so stoked to have receive his own plush that he couldn’t wait to have simmer down first before messing around with it, too enveloped in his own that his hands start to emit smoke touching the plush.

He started to freak out when he open his eyes to see that he had turned the plush into a pile of ash, crying in anguish as he tried to salvage what he can. He went back to Butterbear Cookie with the news and he was generous enough to give him a replacement, warning him to be more careful next time!

[forever-rogue]

can I request a Joel Miller x reader fic where she's in love with him but is convinced he would never have feelings for her too as she's younger than him and shy and quiet but maybe all gets revealed (however you want to do that) 👉👈 super fluffy but put some angst in there too if you wish 🥰

AN | Okay, but I love this so much ❤️

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 2.3k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

People always seemed to call you shy. 

And you were you supposed, in your own way. It had a lot of perks when you really thought about it, and one of the main benefits happened to be that people often seemed to leave you to your own devices. 

You liked that you had the ability to watch and observe people without question. There was a lot that could be learned when people thought they weren’t being watched. 

And one of your favorite people to study happened to be Joel Miller. 

He was a quiet man and often kept to himself more than anything, but there was still a lot to be gleaned from him. He was resourceful and smart, kind and friendly but not in an overbearing way, and generally…the object of your affections. Not that you would ever admit that to anyone else. You’d never said those words out all loud - and never would. No, that was a secret you would take to the grave. 

You were he probably already knew - you felt like a pathetic, rambling fool around him. He managed to erase every sensible thought in your head and the ability to form any coherent sentences. Instead you fumbled over your words, feeling warm and anxious…so you usually tried to avoid him as much as you. Sometimes it worked, but other times it seemed like he managed to find you or be in the same spot as you at every conceivable moment. 

It sucked. You were sure that one day you’d accidentally spill the beans or somehow give away that fact you were desperately in love with him. As long as you managed to keep your guard up, you were sure that it would all be fine. All you had to do was avoid him for the rest of your life. 

How hard could that be?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey,” that familiar gruff cut through your internal monologue as you gasped in surprise and almost dropped at the stuff in your arms. You turned around to him Joel watched you with a bemused expression on his face, “you alright? Didn’t mean to scare you, kid.”

Kid. You hated when he called you that. It made you feel like you were nothing in his eyes. Just a mere inconvenience. A kid that happened to be in his way.

“‘s alright,” you mumbled, righting the basket in your arms as you turned back to the vegetables and fruits you were tending to, “didn’t hear you is all.”

“Didn’t hear me,” he chuckled, the sound warm and familiar as it made the butterflies in your stomach flutter like crazy, “I don’t think I was being quiet in the slightest. Must have been awfully focused on whatever is going on in that pretty little head.”

You froze, eyes widening at his words, but continued to pick the fresh vegetables. You were so thankful that your back was to him as you tried to shrug him off. Otherwise he might have sensed just how flushed your face was and the lovesick expression on your face. 

You. You, you, you. 

"Nothing," you lied through gritted teeth, attempting in vain to slow down the beating of your heart and higher octave of your voice, "just thinking about what new things to plant once the season changes."

"And what did you decide?" Oh yeah. He was totally calling your bluff. 

"About what?"

"The vegetables?" 

"Oh…umm…cucumbers?"

"That's a summer vegetable," you cringed as he made a small sound of amusement. Did the man really have to know everything? You remained silent but could hear him shift, "last time I checked its almost winter."

"Well," you make quick work of gathering the rest of your veggies and placing them gently into the basket, "I guess I'll figure it out later."

You stood up and quickly turned on your heel to leave, rushing to get away and put this whole situation behind. You felt his fingers wrap around your wrist and gently hold you back. When you met his eyes, you noticed the little smile on his face, "everything alright?"

"Peachy," you lied as you gently pulled out of his grasp, "see you around, Joel."

"See you, Kid."

You hoped that maybe you'd never see him again and therefore avoid ever making a fool outside of yourself. 

Unlikely.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“And just where do you think you’re going?” you almost jumped in surprise, a small sound of surprise escaping your lips before he clamped his hand over your mouth. He put a finger to his lips and shook his head. You relaxed slightly when you saw it was him. When he realized that you weren’t going to freak out he dropped his hand from your mouth.

“Joel!” you hissed at him, looking around to make sure no one had followed either of you, “what are you doing here?”

“The better question is what are you doing here?” he crossed his arms over his broad chest as he raised an eyebrow at you. You put an innocent smile on your face and shrugged, knowing you weren’t fooling him in the slightest. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” oh. He was loving this way too much already.

“Telling? Wait - no, telling you,” you huffed, annoyed with yourself for how nervous you suddenly felt, “I’m just…here.”

“Here,” he repeated as you nodded, “it looks like you were trying to sneak out of the safety of the QZ.”

“Ummm…” realistically there was no other thing you could have been doing in that particular location. You were both acutely aware of the truth of the situation, “I’m just hanging out.”

“Come on, Kid,” he reached up and brushed a few rogue strands of hair behind your ear, “I wasn’t born yesterday. I know you like to sneak out.”

“I don’t-”

“I don’t care that you do,” he dropped his voice to a whisper as you slowly swallowed thickly, “I care about the fact that it’s not safe.”

“You do it!”

“I can handle myself,” he insisted, putting his finger under your chin in order to turn your face up to his, “not that I don’t think you can. It’s different.”

“I don’t usually get into trouble,” you shrugged, “I just like getting out sometimes. It almost makes things feel normal sometimes.”

He regarded you for a few moments, inhaling deeply before exhaling slowly. Your heart skipped a few beats as you wondered if he would yell at you or get you in some sort of trouble, “let’s go.”

“I’m - wait. What?” your eyes widened in surprise when he definitely said the opposite of what you had expected, “go home?”

“Let’s go out,” he reached for your hand and gently took it in his before he started to tug you along towards the way out. You were rooted in place, staring at him incredulously. He laughed, the soft sound made butterflies explode in your tummy, “what?”

“You mean it?” you whispered as the smile on his face grew, “Joel?”

“Let’s go out in the world and get away for a little bit,” he insisted softly. A small part of you was convinced that this was all fake and that he was going to get you in trouble. But the larger part of you knew that Joel would never do just a thing. And the tender look in his eyes solidified that for you, “what do you say?”

“Yes,” you agreed with a shy smile and fervent nod, “let’s go.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You should tell him, you know,” Lizzy nudged your side with your elbow and despite the serious look you were attempting to keep on your face, you giggled lightly. You ignored her comment as you turned back your attention towards the sky, as you studied the big, fat fluffy clouds. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you huffed, trying to tune out the way she looked at you with a coquettish little smirk, “busy Lizzy, mind your own business!”

“You’re my best friend,” she reminded you, causing you to grumble at her, but it was all laced with affection, “I’m a part of your life and I’m just trying to get you in the right direction.”

“There is no right or wrong direction,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands, “there’s nothing there, Lizzy. I’m just a dumb kid with a big, fat crush and that’s all it’ll ever be. Can we drop it?”

“You’re so blind! It’s so obvious that he feels the same,” you loved Lizzy, and her tenacity was one of her amazing qualities. But right now it just felt so…overwhelming. You blinked back the tears that had threatened to well up and shook your head, “sweetheart-”

“Lizzy,” you put your hand on her arm and gave it a squeeze, “Joel doesn’t like me like that. I’m just a kid to him and that’s all I’ll ever be, and that’s okay. I’ll get over it…one day.”

“You’re so blind!” she was laughing, and despite the sound being so lovely and soft, your heart constricted in your chest. Before she could open her mouth to say anything else, you heard a loud throat clear from behind you. The two of you sat up in surprise, turning your attention towards the door to the roof. 

Fuck. Of course. Of course Joel Miller had to choose the perfect time to make an appearance. Lizzy had a huge grin on her face as she jumped up from the blanket you’d been lying on you. You looked at her in desperation as she practically skipped over to Joel and past him, smiling sweetly at the older man. 

In your anxious state you held up your hand in a meek little wave. Joel chuckled softly before making his way over to you. Without waiting for an invite, he sat down next to you, his thigh pressed against yours. 

“You heard all of that, didn’t you?” your entire body was warm and you almost wished that something would have popped up to create a distraction. Not like fully on clicker distraction, but something. You keep your gaze trained anywhere but him as embarrassment washed over you. 

“I did,” he admitted as you groaned internally. You could practically feel his pretty brown eyes focused on, but you weren’t ready to die of humiliation just yet. 

“Of course,” you nodded in annoyance, at yourself more than anything. You groaned before letting out a small huff. You finally managed to turn your face towards him and to your surprise, he didn’t look mad or angry, “I’m umm…sorry. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” it was a genuine question that caused you to shrug noncommittally, “the fact that I found out or for the feelings themself?”

“Both, I guess,” maybe the ground could open up and swallow you whole. That might be a nice change of pace, “m-mostly the fact that you found out.”

“So you’re not sorry for the feelings?”

“Can’t really help your feelings, can you?”

“No,” he agreed, shooting a curious little look, “I guess you can’t.”

“I hope this doesn’t make things awkward,” you whispered, “I try to stay away from you, but I swear you always seem to pop up out of nowhere. It always feels like the universe is laughing at me.”

“Almost like it wasn’t a coincidence at all…”

“I guess you’re….wait,” you turned your attention to him, allowing yourself to look at the man in question, “not a coincidence? What do you mean?”

“You’re a smart girl,” he praised and oh. If you didn’t enjoy being praised before, you sure did now, “you can put two and two together.”

“I….Joel-”

“Lizzy wasn’t as far off as you think she was,” he stated it so simply like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Your mouth dropped open as you stared at him, waiting for him to drop the just kidding bomb. He put his finger under your chin and gently closed your mouth, “is it really that hard to believe?”

“N-no,” you admitted softly, “I guess not. Just…are you sure? Me? Why…I don’t get it. Why me?”

“Don’t do that,” he insisted firmly, “the self doubt - there’s no reason for it.”

“I’m just…me.”

“Exactly,” he answered, leaving no room for any sort of back-talk, “you’re not just some kid or just a nobody. Not to me.”

“But I…I-”

He rested his hand on your neck, his thumb gently brushing along your soft skin, “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

“Oh. Oh,” your eyes widened for a moment before you felt the soft press of his lips against yours. It wasn’t much of a kiss, more of a soft brushing of lips, both of you testing the waters. When he pulled back, you found him watching you with a soft expression on his face, “that was…you kissed me.”

“I did,” he echoed his words from earlier, “and I’d like to do it again if you’re okay with it.”

“Yes,” you smiled shyly at him, “I’d like that a lot.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” and he was kissing you again, like the two of you had been doing this for a long time, like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

Maybe you weren’t just some dumb kid after all.

[love-byers]

best evidence that mike was lying in his monologue to el? he references a day that we have the ability to go back and watch for ourselves. we can take was he's saying and rewatch the scene to see if we can tell that's what he was thinking.

and it just does not line up at all.

"I knew right then and there in that moment that I loved you. And I have loved you every day since."

the moment at the end of s1 ep1 when they find el, mike is supposed to be realizing he loves her. and from that moment on was madly in love with her and KNEW IT. it's very important that he says "i knew" because that completely stops any argument that mike behaved the way he did because he didn't know he loved her yet. mike himself claims he knew. so either he's lying or...well there's really no other option. he lied.

this is it, this is supposed to be the moment

does he look like he just realized he's in love with her?

NO! HE DOESNT!!

he looks confused. concerned. bewildered.

and it doesn't even stop there. he is supposed to be in love with her in every moment moving forward. 

and he still tries to get rid of her.

mike just realized he loves this girl not even an hour ago, and he's already forming a plan to get rid of her. he's reluctant to tell his mom immediately, but not because he wants to keep el because he loves her. he says himself he's trying to cover their asses so they can go out and look for will.

mike supposedly realized he loved el, and not even an hour later his main concern is finding will.

even after he and el have a sweet moment where he gives her the name el and has a whole night to think about it and mull it over, the next morning he still proceeds with the plan of el ringing his doorbell.

there's also the many times mike yelled "what is wrong with you?!" at el, him slapping her hand away when she tried to comfort him, leaving her with lucas and dustin after he thought will was dead, referring to her as a weapon they can use to find will, etc.

edit: there's also the fact that lucas was kinder to el when they thought will was dead compared to mike, who is supposed to be in love with her. lucas didn't like el or trust her and even he didn't lash out at el and was like "mike come on don't leave"

let me repeat that. lucas, who did not like el or trust her and wanted to get rid of her and accused her of being a monster and sabotaging them finding will, was kinder to el in that moment than the dude who's supposed to know he's in love with her.

so either mike has the worlds strangest way of showing love, or he's a liar.

like i don't think enough of you realize this confirms mike lied. his behavior simply does not match his words whatsoever. like not even a little bit.

[faelorelia]

"Will's love towards Mike is a really beautiful thing." – Finn Wolfhard

And he is absolutely right. Throughout the whole series, the "Stranger Things" creators have made it clear to the audience how special Will and Mike's bond is and how much Mike truly means to Will. They have consistently highlighted the depth of Will's feelings towards Mike, and his love has saved the day quite a few times already. ❤️

Will's love for Mike is sincere, pure, quiet and completely unconditional. It's a love unspoken, yet expressed a million times through his actions. Will couldn't keep the truth from Mike in S1, even though it was just a small detail related to D&D. Despite being possessed, Will drew strength from Mike's presence and care, as if Mike was his beacon of light in the darkness. Mike's heartfelt monologue to Will about how asking him to be his friend was "the best thing he's ever done" reached Will's soul thanks to the love he felt, and that helped them all to stop the Mind Flayer in S2. In that same season, Mike was the one who Will was able to recognize after his possession because of how strong his feelings for the boy were.

We also saw the tender and emotional moments between Will and Mike in S3 and S4. Will's heartbreaking confession of "not going to fall in love" when he was (probably) already aware of his romantic feelings for his childhood best friend hits even harder when you think about it. Despite the times Mike unintentionally hurt Will, Will's love for him has remained too strong for him to simply forget and move on. There is just no way Will could ever get that boy out of his heart.

Because that's the thing – Mike is his heart, and Will hinted at it himself (albeit in a veiled form). Will's unconditional love for Mike is what led this sweet, sensitive and traumatized kid to set aside his own desires and pain just to ensure the happiness of the boy he loves. Even if Mike's happiness lies with his girlfriend (who also happens to be Will's new sister). Even if it means Mike is happy without him. But Will has long accepted this because he's inherently selfless and caring. He prioritizes the happiness of his loved ones over his own.

Will promised Mike he'd never be replaced and stayed fiercely loyal, as we saw in that unforgettable "Not possible" moment in S3 and later on in the show. Will was always there for Mike in S4 when he needed support and encouragement. He tried his best to patch things up between Mike and El, thinking it was what Mike wanted. Will even pushed Mike to open up to El, reminding him of his irreplaceable role in the party. Through it all, Will did everything he could to lift Mike's spirits, making sure he felt needed, valued and loved (even if it was indirectly through others).

And to prove, once again, how beautiful Will's love towards Mike is, I want to remind you of his monologue in the van scene where he was expressing his feelings for Mike by disguising them as Eleven's (slightly adapted to fit the purpose):

“Anyway, my point is, see how you're leading us here? You're guiding the whole party, inspiring us. That… That's what you do. And see your coat of arms here? It's a heart. And I know it's sort of on the nose, but that's what holds this party together. Heart. Because, I mean, without heart, we'd all fall apart. Even [me]. Especially [me]. These past few months, [I've] been so lost without you. It's just, [I'm] so different from other people, and… when you're… when you're different, sometimes… you feel like a mistake. But you make [me] feel like [I'm] not a mistake at all. Like [I'm] better for being different. And that gives [me] the courage to fight on. If [I] was mean to you or [I] seemed like [I] was pushing you away, it's because [I'm] scared of losing you, like you're scared of losing [El]. And if [I] was going to lose you, I… I think [I'd] rather just get it over with quick. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. So, yeah, [I] need you, Mike. And [I] always will.”

If Will's love for Mike isn't beautiful, then I don't know what is. Because "Stranger Things" shows us the true power of love and how it can change the world for the better. I find it truly inspiring. ❤️‍🩹

[justporo]

"Astarion?"

"Yes, my love?"

You were lazing away a summer's night. The sound of crickets chimed through the air and your wide open bedroom windows.

The city had practically been burning up the last couple of days - even the nights were unpleasantly warm and humid. And so the only thing you and your vampire had been doing was wasting the nights away in your huge bed with the silk sheets providing at least a bit of cool counterbalance. And of course the cold skin of your vampire served as a pleasant heatsink.

And Astarion had found it quite delightfully entertaining when he'd figured out how you would sigh blissfully when he pressed his cool hands to your body and he felt the heat of your skin under his fingers.

Right now you were, both of you, laying there all splayed and fully naked. The vampire on his back reading a small leather-bound collection of poetry. His legs were angled because your crossed ones lay beneath them as you lounged there on your stomach, drawing what you could see through the frame of the open window.

As you were busy with your art your mind had kept wandering - until a question had formed in your mind that you just had to voice.

"Why me?" you asked your lover, turning your head to look at him, your work momentarily forgotten.

Astarion lowered his book: "What?"

"Why did you pick me? Or fall for me?"

You felt anxiety creep up your spine as the words left your tongue.

Astarion stared at you in silence, taken aback by the surprising question. A wrinkle formed between his furrowed brows - deep in thought.

"That's kind of a loaded question, don't you think?"

Your heart dropped a little at that reaction and you turned back around and looked at your sketch. Hopefully he hadn't caught how your facial expression had dropped.

The bed shifted under his weight when Astarion put aside his book and climbed over to you.

You didn't dare to look at him. Thankfully a curtain of hair was still covering your face as the vampire came closer.

But you felt his presence as he leaned over you. His cool arms covering yours as his hands wandered down from your shoulders to your fingers, sending shivers down your exposed spine. And then you felt his smooth lips press a delicate kiss to your temple.

"My heart," he began so silently even the cricket sounds almost drowned them out. "There's no need to hide your face. And no need to be frightened," he whispered and with a single finger lifted the soft strands of your hair covering your face from sight.

Your eyes flitted to your lover's only shortly. But when you saw nothing but warmth in them you dared to take a longer peek.

"I fell for you, Tav, because even that first night, when I had fully other plans, you made me think how things could be different."

You opened your mouth to reply something but Astarion promptly shushed you.

"I might have not realised or appreciated it immediately but you showed me that it could be more, that I could be more."

His voice was starting to rise now as he continued his monologue. And you felt how your heartbeat started to quicken as you kept listening to his confession.

"And I figure most important was this, darling," Astarion continued and his red eyes were incredibly bright even in the low light of this summer night.

"Despite you barely knowing me, you were so eager to just give yourself to me. I was so used to offering up myself, others taking everything from me I was forced to offer up. But you didn't care for that. You wanted to be held, yes, but you were willing to give me everything of yourself for it."

Your eyes widened as you listened to Astarion opening up about this. You felt treacherous burning in your eyes, announcing tears that would probably follow shortly after. And as you stared into the crimson eyes of your vampire you saw all of your feelings mirrored in them.

Astarion leaned closer and made your body turn around. Softly pulling you around by your shoulders until you were on your back and your lover directly over you.

He pressed his lips to yours as he lowered his full weight of his body down onto you, your legs wrapping around him like it had become second nature for both of you. His hands gently wandered from your shoulders down your body, covering as much ground as possible while his tongue slipped into your mouth.

You moaned into his open mouth, arching your back until you felt your heated skin connect with his cooler body.

The corners of Astarion’s mouth curled up as you did that. You felt it as you were still kissing him and realised that you were proving his point.

Astarion broke the kiss, his face hovering directly over yours as your hands clung onto his back.

"How could I have refused such an offer?"

A/N: Quite some time ago I was tagged in a post by @lumienyx to answer why Astarion fell for my Tav and I had this on my mind for a long while. So here's my answer to that question.

[cecilxa]

hi is it alright if i request kaeya, diluc and thoma (separate) with a reader who feels very insignificant next to them and their achievements, hurt to comfort pls <333

i see you, i cherish you

contents: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationships, gn!reader, monologues in each part so have fun with that haha

cw: negative thoughts, overall sadness and insecurites, feelings of emptiness, crying, food

a/n: first of all, ty anon for being incredibly patient! i'm so so sorry this took so long to fulfill, but i really hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

kaeya– pavo ocellus

Even with one eye, you consider Kaeya to have achieved and gone through so much you couldn’t even imagine happening to yourself. From losing his parents to another parent, and on top of that, his rather- for lack of better words- rocky relationship with his brother, he’s gone through so much and emerged so strong. This comes to the problem at hand. You. Even though he may not have such a clean and honest reputation, people still respect him, evident through their affirming glances and the straightening of their backs whenever he walks by. You, on the other hand, are merely thought of as an accessory, an addition to his ever-growing collection of precious items, tagging along for the sake of it. 

It’s draining to keep thinking like this, you know, but you can’t help the thoughts that constantly invade your mind, constantly reminding you of how insignificant you are compared to Kaeya. You’ve done nothing of value; you’ve done nothing to help the people of Mondstadt, and you’ve done nothing for yourself at this point! He seems like such a respected figure, and you seem so little compared to him, you might as well just live your life inside forever and no one would notice you were gone. 

Tears start escaping from your eyes, and you don’t bother to try and catch them with your mouth like you did when you were younger, because what’s the point? You’re going to eventually start crying again, and again and again. You’re just not important enough and you haven’t done enough and you just feel so small, and so empty. Curling up into the foetal position, you let the sadness wash over you.

—

Kaeya hurries back to your shared home. He’s been looking forward to this, the thought of holding you in your arms and being able to kiss your delightful mouth is enough motivation for him to be tying up any loose ends his (interrogations) job may bring and finishing up the stacks of paperwork his other colleagues have piled up out of laziness. Honestly, some people these days have no moral integrity!

Unlocking the door, and walking in, he immediately notices how quiet it is. That’s strange, considering how he can usually find you either in the kitchen, preparing some form of dinner whenever he comes back home late, or in the hallway right in front of him, welcoming him back home instead. There’s no one in either of those rooms, and when he calls out your name and no one calls back, he begins to get worried. He can’t lose you, not ever, so when a fresh wave of panic tries to take over, he tries his hardest to stay calm and think about things logically. The next thing to do would be to check upstairs. He’s bounding up them, two at a time, his strides revealing how much he’s actually worrying about your welfare, but he doesn’t even reach the top when he hears your cries. 

Not even caring anymore, he bursts inside your bedroom to find you curled up on your bed, body wracking with tears, shaking periodically. A myriad of emotions swirl through him. Anger, at whoever made you feel like this- he stores a mental note to free up some time later that week- relief- well, at least you aren’t missing or gone, but most of all, sorrow. Sorrow at your sorry state, sorrow at the fact you feel like this, sorrow that echoes deep in his bones; a sorrow that makes his heart twinge in uncomfortable ways. He walks over to the bed, and lies next to you, facing your body. 

Gently wrapping his arms around you, he whispers sweet nothings as you cry into his chest, each one making his eyes soften, and grip tighten.

“Please tell me what’s troubling you. I can’t have my darling all wound up, can I? It’s my duty as a knight to make sure all the citizens of Mondstadt are happy and healthy, wouldn’t you say?”

You don’t respond to his questions, like he thought you would anyway, so he changes tact.

“Darling, I beg. I don’t like seeing you upset, and know I’ll deal with anyone who tries to harm you, so please tell me what’s wrong. Whatever you say, I’ll make it right, you don’t have to lift a single finger, I promise.”

You sniffle a bit at this, tears coming slower, and you can feel his warm stare on your head, hands stroking your waist in a way that’s always made you feel relaxed. Or maybe that’s just his arms. Voice cracking up from all the crying, you respond, albeit with a wobble.

“I-I just haven’t done enough, Kaeya. I haven’t done enough!”

Bursting into a fresh set of tears, you wail into his chest once more, and once more, Kaeya shushes you. He kisses the top of your head, one that he hopes conveys his patience for you, and your words. He lets it linger for a couple of seconds before speaking again.

“To me, you’ve always been enough. Why else would you have stolen my heart, and why else would I have allowed it to happen?”

“But, you’ve just done so much and I’ve done so little!”

Kaeya frowns. He now knows what the problem is, but he feels clueless as to how you could ever feel this way. To him, you’ve done so much both for the people of Mondstadt and himself, helping out whenever you can, and always with a smile on your face.

“I’m going to stop you there, darling. Know that nobody thinks lowly of you. I may be the Cavalry Captain, but I have no horses; you may be my partner, but you are also a person. You may not see this, but everyone else can. You have done, and helped so many people that they come up to me- even when I’m out in the tavern- to talk about how you had helped them that same day. Apart from seeing your face, those little conversations are the highlight of my night, and they should be yours, too. So don’t worry, darling, from now on, I’ll tell you those messages and we’ll see how truly significant you actually are. I love you, wholly, and I never want you to feel like that ever again.”

His arms tighten around your waist as he presses a lingering kiss on your head. You squeeze back with the pressure of a feather, and a soft smile breaks through his face. 

diluc– noctua

There are many ways you can say the name Diluc Ragnvindr. The Darkight Hero, saving grace of Mondstadt, free from the shackles of the Knights of Favonius, or perhaps, Master of the Dawn Winery, filthy rich, yet hard-working, producing possibly the best wine in the whole of Teyvat. No matter what name people utter, it always comes along with bucket loads of respect and admiration, constantly failing to hide the fact that they hold him in extremely high regard, much higher than what you could ever hope for. People speak of his courage, perseverance, and determination (well, maybe apart from Kaeya) when all they say to you is to ask how Diluc is. 

It’s frustrating, no- it’s angering and belittling, and it’s as if you don’t have anything to stand for other than being his partner! He gets all of this respect and you just have to stand by his side! It’s as if they don’t even see you as a person with achievements, which- well, what have you done that’s worthy of praise? Nothing, you guess, maybe becoming Diluc’s partner was the peak of your life; it’s only going to go downhill from here, you’ve done nothing good, you’ve done nothing worthy; maybe you don’t deserve him at all. And- oh there the tears come, hot and salty, droplets dripping down your face. 

–

There are many ways Diluc says your name. He says it gently, with hushed undertones and comforting hugs; he says it passionately, with longing in his eyes and a bold thump in his heart. But most of all, he says it so full of love, as if you had hung all the stars in the sky, full of unending, fulfilling, admiring adoration. Whenever your name leaves his mouth, people can’t help but stop and stare; it’s just so obvious how much the Master of the Dawn Winery cares for his special someone. Whenever your name leaves his mouth, there’s an ever-present look in his eye, one that reveals everything he feels about you, a look that proclaims out his devotion. 

So when Diluc finds you- alone, sobbing violently into your pillows- he doesn’t hesitate to place you on his lap, arms cradling your fragile figure, as he utters your name again. He says it again and again, stroking your hair softly, waiting patiently (as if he wouldn’t wait an eternity) while he lets you cry into his shoulder, eyebrows slightly furrowing at the sight of seeing you so upset to get to a point like this. It’s not fair, he thinks, for you to feel like this when you deserve nothing but the opposite, and- he shouldn’t blame himself for this- but what if it has to do with him? You know he’s busy, and he knows he’s busy, but what if you’re feeling as if he doesn’t love you anymore?

Oh, what a lie, as if he could never love you, what a lie, as if he could never look forward to seeing you, as if he could never touch and kiss you as if it were his last. Those people weren’t lying when they said that he was truly in deep, too deep to ever get out of the hole he had dug for himself. Diluc doesn’t mind, though, if he’s in there with you, he would stay like that forever. 

This doesn’t fix the situation at hand, however, and as much as Diluc would like to be able to fix all of your problems, the world doesn’t work like that, and so the next best thing is to help you try and feel better.

You’re still crying, and with every sob that you let out, a piece of his heart seemingly shatters into the void, and he thinks the only way to repair it would be to see your smile again. However, you’ve changed positions to where you’re both hugging each other. You on his lap, arms around his shoulders, and his arms around your waist, sporadically kissing your cheek every once in a while. He sighs, though not at you- never at you, eyes heavy with sadness at your state, and whispers gentle words, cradling your head with his hand.

“Look at me, darling. I love you eternally. I love you with my whole heart, and I can’t even fathom how much it beats for you. I do not know why you’re crying so, but I hate it. You do not deserve whatever this is you are feeling, and I know you as much as I know the back of my own hand. To me, you are the greatest person I have ever known. You have the ability to make me feel things I didn’t know I could, and you made me love, the most important thing of all. I have slain and destroyed, but at what cost? You have healed, and perhaps that is what I love about you so. So please do not cry, darling. You have done so much for me, and you have done so much for others. I know that much, so please, can I see you smile again?

You gaze up at him, eyes widening, as they fill up with tears once more. But not sad tears this time, happy ones instead. You kiss him, salty and passionate and thankful. It’s rather amazing how he manages to find the exact words to comfort you. 

Diluc may be considered stoic, and quiet to most, but for you, he’d recite the longest scripture he could just to wipe your tears away. 

thoma- rubeum scutum

The past few days for Thoma have been particularly busy. Both the Kamisato siblings required some type of assistance that had needed to be by their side for an extended amount of time, often just accompanying them with daily tasks around Inazuma that they may need to be called to. He doesn’t mind though, because at the end of each day, even though he may arrive late, even though he may find you asleep on the couch once he finally arrives back home, he gets to see your face, and gets to carry you gently off to bed, pressing some kisses to your forehead as he does so. 

However, what Thoma doesn’t get to see, is the constant emotion of insignificance you feel next to him. You’re truly proud of him, you really are, and you’re glad he’s so busy and looked after all the time, but sometimes you wish that you could feel that way too. Sometimes you wished that you could receive the same workload as him- just to be able to say that your superiors trust you to be able to deal with larger things, like him. But you don’t and now you feel useless. Especially now, since he’s been kept working late for the Kamisato Clan, you’ve been chased by negativity for the days that he’s arrived late home, and it’s catching up to you.

It’s suffocating, you just want to be recognised by someone, for someone to be proud of you and to be able to say that they respect and admire your ethics and hardworking nature. But instead, you do mundane tasks everyday, get home, wait for Thoma, then go to sleep. You want something more; you yearn for some sort of sign in your life that you’ve achieved something, that you’ve created meaning for someone else. You just feel so tired of it all, you just want to go to sleep.

Staring at the wall blankly, you don’t even notice Thoma creeping in with a smile on his face, only to be replaced by a concerned frown. It’s the end of his gruelling week of assisting and accompanying, and there’s nothing more he wants than to be able to lay in bed with you, the one he loves with all his heart. He even prepared a cake for you to share, your favourite flavour! But when he sees you, devoid of emotion, a grim expression on your face unlike your usual self, he doesn’t hesitate to place the cake aside- all but forgotten- and rush over to where you’re sitting. 

“Baby…?” 

He whispers, almost scared to raise his voice, as if he would upset you even further. When you don’t respond, he gently raises you up to your feet, so tenderly, you know he’s done this before. He tilts your head up to look at him, and he gets scared. He gets scared at the empty look on your face, and he musters up all the love he can get (which- to be frank- is a lot) to smile at you. Even though he’s scared, the eyes are the window to the soul, and his truly reveal how much he cares for you. He searches for feeling in yours, and when he spots just a glimmer, he leans down to give you a gentle peck on the lips. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s troubling you? I’ll do my very best to sort it out, you know I’d do anything for you.”

Comforted by the sound of his voice and affirmations, you regain some feeling in your body, and you feel less exhausted. 

“Sorry, Thoma. I just- I’m not feeling too good.”

“Oh, would you like anything then? I have a really good soup recipe that I can make for you, just get some rest, and it’ll be ready in just a few minutes! I would prefer for you to feel better sooner rather than later.”

You sigh. 

“No. That’s not what I meant. I mean- well- you’ve just been so busy and I’ve been… here, doing nothing. You’ve done so much already, and I haven’t done anything at all, I just want to feel as if I’ve done something… significant like you, that’s all.”

Tears start pooling at the corners of your eyes, and Thoma hurries to wipe them away with his hands. His heart clenches at your confession, worry evident in his eyes. If only you knew how much you mean to him, how much he thinks that you’re the significant one in the grand scheme of things, and how much he values your existence. 

“No, don’t say that kind of stuff, it hurts. You know I love you so, so, so much and that I think you’ve done so much- too much- that I can’t possibly repay you. You don’t know how much you’ve impacted my life, and that I’m so grateful you came into it. I think others would agree too. I look forward to seeing you every day, y’know? You’re the highlight every single time, so don’t think of yourself as worthless, or insignificant, because I think if you weren’t here, my heart would have a massive gap right down the middle! I love you so much, baby, and it pains me to see you hurt like this, but I want you to believe that compared to me, you’re the one who shines bright. You’re the star here, not me.”

He pauses when you don’t respond. Maybe you need some time for yourself, sometimes that’s just the case. 

“I’ll make the soup now, okay? I love you.”

Turning around to head out, a pair of arms from behind him encase his waist. 

He laughs, turning around again to face you. Stroking your hair gently, he presses a kiss to your forehead, and wonders whether you can tell how much he truly loves you. How much he would do for you, and sacrifice for you. Thoma mutters a quiet ‘thank you’, and you look up at him, confused, tears still in your eyes. 

“Surely I should be the thankful one, Thoma? Thank you, though.”

Your voice goes quiet at the last part. 

He smiles softly, eyes drooping ever so slightly in admiration, in patience and in understanding. 

“My pleasure.”

a/n: tysm for reading to the end! likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! ❤️

[evenmorebeetles]

One of the things that always really fascinated me about Sakura's character is how manipulative she is.

I was rewatching the anime with my partner because it was their first time, and when Sakura finds Sasuke to beg him not to go to Orochimaru, my partner said that they were a little disappointed that romance was emphasized in that scene over friendship, and I said, "You know, I think Sakura would have told Sasuke she loved him whether she did or didn't. She knows that he cares about her. I think Sakura would say anything she had to to get him to stay."

And the most obvious example of this is when she does that exact thing to Naruto before the Five Kage Summit, lying about having feelings for him in order to save him, and that scene is what I was referencing when I made the comment, but throughout the course of the anime, there are several other moments where Sakura either outright lies and cons or uses her feelings as a weapon to get her way.

She does it right when Team 7 is formed, when Naruto plays the eraser prank on Kakashi. Her inner monologue shows that she thinks it's hilarious, but instead she puts up this facade. She berates Naruto because she thinks it'll make her appear cooler to Sasuke, and she tells Kakashi that she told Naruto not to do it and that she would never do something like that because she wants to portray herself as not only superior to Naruto but as the good one, the innocent one, the one who can do no wrong.

She does it to Sai, Kiba, and Lee when she knocks them unconscious so that she can go kill Sasuke by herself. She does it when tells Sasuke that she wants to join him so that she can get close to him. She does it again when, at the end of the war, she begs Sasuke one last time. She even does it in Sasuke Retsuden when she cons Penjira at cards and reveals that she's been doing the same to Tsunade for years. And these are just off the top of my head, I'm sure there's more.

Basically I'm saying that everyone should consider themselves lucky that Sakura's on Konoha's side because if she was the one with the villain arc? She'd be ruthless.

[sundrop-writes]

Decided To Break It

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

A thousand promises that never seemed to help me before...

Apathy that always finds a way to break me down.

Summary:

Abby confronts your abuser, and you both come out better on the other side because of it.

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader. Childhood Friends to Lovers. Hurt and Comfort. Can be read with or without considering the canon events.

Word Count: 5,000

The Last of Us Masterlist | AO3 Link

THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.

Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.

Warnings: reader uses she/her pronouns, themes of abuse and abusive relationships, domestic abuse, childhood friends to lovers, hurt and comfort, mentions of canon deaths and incidents of canon violence, Abby has a self deprecating inner monologue, Abby experiencing some transphobic comments (even though she is not trans in this - angry cis men are just like that), the reader’s abusive partner is a man, the reader is described as having injuries from a physically abusive incident, the reader experiencing physical and emotional abuse from a romantic partner, the reader is saved from her abusive partner by Abby (and Manny), the reader is mentioned to be wearing Abby’s clothes - but Abby is a big muscled girl so I think plus sized girls could fit her clothes (especially if they were clothes that were big on Abby), Abby calls the reader ‘baby’, some romantic involvement between Abby and the reader (but the bulk of the focus is on Abby rescuing the reader form the abuse), technically cheating - because the reader kisses Abby while she is still involved with her abusive boyfriend, Abby murdering someone with her bare fists (technically with her fists and then smothering him with a pillow), somewhat graphic descriptions of Abby beating up the abuser, happy/hopeful ending. 

A/N: Title comes from a Marianas Trench song of the same name. I have always thought of it as a very Abby song (and it’s on my Abby playlist) - I think it definitely represents her following the Fireflies and then the Wolves with them feeding her blind promises that don’t work out for her, and when she ‘decides to break it’ is when she decides to break free from the mould in order to help Lev and Yara. And in this case, the broken promises and lies are two fold - her pushing down her feelings for y/n and her seeing y/n be 'happy’ with the abusive boyfriend, and when she finally snaps is when she 'decides to break it’. I like how it fits. It could also be fitting of how someone in an abusive relationship is fed lies and empty promises and it’s difficult to break away from that.

...

Abby had always liked you.

She always loved you, even if she claimed over and over again, wasted her breath telling people that it was strictly the type of love reserved for a friend. 

But she refused to admit the true nature of those feelings to herself. She refused to call it love, or romance, or affection. Maybe because she didn’t even realize that’s what it was in her own mind. But she definitely had a childhood crush on you that blossomed into something else along the way. 

You were someone that Abby’s dad was always fond of when you lived with the Fireflies at Saint Mary’s hospital. And though you weren’t studying to become a medic, Jerry always pushed Abby to hang around you more because you were sweet, good natured, and bookish, and he always thought you were a very good influence on her. 

It was something that led the two of you to become fast friends. When the two of you were still so young and the world was still so small, you were each other’s biggest priority in it. 

Abby often mourned for those days like winter days mourn for summer. But she could never imagine how the two of you might get back that kind of closeness. 

Living at the WLF, you unintentionally drifted away from Abby. 

The Salt Lake Crew was always close, especially after making the treacherous journey from Salt Lake to Seattle with nothing more than a tiny glimmer of hope for their safety after the bloody massacre at Saint Mary’s. 

Abby protected you the whole way, made sure you never had to carry a gun, would have thrown down her life to save yours at any moment during the journey - especially when she was stuck in such deep depression after her father’s death. In a lot of ways, you kept her alive during those days. You kept her spirit alive, made sure she held onto the good memories of her father instead of throwing herself headfirst into the darkness. 

But when everyone integrated into the WLF, things changed. It was a very rapid shift from the group spending 24/7 together, watching each other’s backs, to everyone having different jobs based on their skills and having colliding schedules that caused them to part and spend less and less time around each other. 

Manny and Abby were the ones who ended up staying the closest - ironically, even closer than the romantic couples of Mel and Owen, and Leah and Jordan. Mostly likely because they roomed together, and they often patrolled together. 

Abby was always regretful of the fact that she didn’t get to see you more often. 

Whenever Abby saw you around, in the cafeteria or during the rare occasions when the old crew could work their schedules to get together (usually using someone’s birthday or another celebration as an excuse) she mourned the fact that the two of you were drifting apart. It seemed like the two of you were becoming more like strangers as the days went on. 

You had taken a job as a dog trainer, wrangling the many pups that the WLF raised and kept on hand, so Abby saw you most often in passing if she was checking out one of the dogs for patrol. 

She often found herself with a pang of yearning in her chest if she saw you cooing sweetly at the pups, petting them, knowing that they could tear out the throats of enemies with their teeth but cuddling with them and calling them ‘baby’ in the same breath. 

(Deep down, she was reminded of herself - how she felt rough and horrible and she often felt unlovable, but she thought someone as soft and sweet as you could still love her. She hoped that you would.)

Very often during their conversations, Manny insisted that Abby had a crush on you. He said that she always had and that he had seen it for years, and Abby was being dumb not to pursue her feelings for you. These conversations usually ended with Abby rolling her eyes and pointing the finger back to his love life, asking why he didn’t just settle down with one of the many nice girls who frequented his bed. 

The topic came up so often between them, but it was something that Abby tried not to think about. The two of you dating. The two of you being anything more than friends. It felt so fictional. Often when Manny spoke about it, it felt like a joke in her ears. 

It was something that was latent in her mind until she saw you with him.

He was some random scumbag - some new trainee who had come in from a settlement outside the city that Isaac had broken up. He had allowed some of their people in (“strength in numbers” he always said). But seeing you with him, Abby gave less of a shit about where the guy came from, and started thinking about where he was heading to and how quickly she could get him away from you. 

Seeing the way you looked at him, with stars in your eyes, entirely lovestruck, while he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear - it just made Abby nauseous.

Abby had been working with some of the new recruits. Fucking morons. Isaac had asked her to whip them into shape, her experience and skill vs their idiocy. 

It was the only reason she knew the guy. It was the only reason she could pick out his stupid face among the seemingly endless sea of people at the WLF. 

She remembered this idiot specifically. He had made sure of that. He was too cocky, but didn’t know his way around a gun. When he had gotten his hands on one of the semi-automatics, he got trigger happy and put several bullet holes in one of the concrete walls. He would have blown away half the squad if his dumbass had been two inches in the other direction. 

When Abby had snatched the weapon out of his hand and began reprimanding him about gun safety, he had gotten in her face and called her a ‘meathead’ and made some rude comments about her possibly having a dick. Clearly, he was intimidated by her size. She let him be. 

(And yeah, she did have a dick. In a box under her bed. One that the girls she and Manny shared around often joked was better than the real thing.)

It was immediately clear to Abby that you didn’t have a clue what the guy was really like. You wouldn’t have any interest in him if you knew what he was like in the field, if you knew how he had spoken to some of your friends. 

You kissed him sweetly on the mouth before you parted ways. Clearly completely unaware that Abby was watching with rage boiling inside of her veins. It was only when Abby looked at the crushed water bottle in her hand that she realized why her shoes were wet - unconsciously, she had been imagining that it was his head.

Manny chalked up her hatred of your new boyfriend to jealousy. And maybe it was. She had no other reasons to hate the guy. No good ones, anyway. Incompetency aside, he learned fast and got over his major flaws, and he quickly learned to only trash talk Abby behind her back so that she couldn’t take any real complaints about him to Isaac. 

When you brought him to Jordan’s birthday party and introduced him to the rest of the group as your boyfriend, they all seemed happy for you.

They didn’t suspect anything when he glared at you with absolute fire in his eyes as you joked around with Owen - someone you thought of as a brother. The cause of a very funny story (that the group still brought up often) when you ate literal dirt rather than kissing him during a game of truth or dare when you were all teenagers. 

Unfortunately, Abby didn’t have any evidence to back up her horrible gut feeling when you and your ‘new boo’ disappeared from the party so suddenly. When she had asked Nora, apparently you left because you were complaining about being tired.

Over the next few weeks, Abby watched you fade away from a distance. 

Your glowing smile became a dull, fake one. Whenever she saw you, you avoided her gaze. And the rare times when you would look her in the eye, she could see you crying out for help from within.

She thought she was being paranoid. She thought it was her pure spite of the man you were dating - some jealousy, a childhood crush bubbling over, the fact that she hadn’t gotten to you first. The fact that she hadn’t been brave enough to confess her feelings to you that she hadn’t even admitted to herself. 

She wanted to believe that you were fine, that you were thriving and happy in your new relationship, before she let herself think that you were actually being hurt by someone who claimed to love you.

Until one night when she was alerted by a knock on her door. 

She and Manny had just come back from a thirty hour patrol shift, and he was already dead asleep. Abby had just gotten out of the shower, combing through her long, wet tendrils as a characteristic Seattle storm thundered outside.

She rushed to put on a tee shirt along with her form fitting boxer briefs to look decent. Even though the only light in the small apartment was currently the flashes of lightning from outside as she walked across to the door. She thought perhaps she had imagined it, the sound of knuckles, the sound of someone trying to grab her attention. It would have been easy to mistake. The thunder rumbling and the rain pounding on the windows was certainly distracting. 

Nonetheless, she opened the door to check if her mind was really that far gone after such a long shift. 

She gave a small smile when she saw you standing there. Usually you didn’t take time out of your busy schedule to come and see her. 

But when the next flash of lighting came, and fully illuminated you where you stood in the hallway, it made Abby’s gut curl with a unique sickness. The look of pure fear in your eyes, the swelling of purple around one of them, the distinct marking around your neck that looked like fucking handprints, marks of thumbs attempting to press into your windpipe.

Abby felt the rage of god and intense pity, mourning and regret, her love for you swell up inside of her all at once.

“Y/N.” 

She said your name in a voice so gently, a timid kindness that you hadn’t been treated with in weeks - it instantly broke you.

You broke down in sobs, muttering out ‘I’m sorry to bother you’ - but Abby didn’t let you get out a moment of apologetic self pity before she swept you up into her arms, pressing the uninjured side of your face against her chest as she ushered you into the apartment and closed the door behind you.

You clutched onto her like a lifeline when stranded at sea, balling your knuckles into the fabric of her shirt as she put her strong arms around your quivering body, cradling you. She had a heavy suspicion as to what had happened to you, but she was going to wait for you to point at the suspect before she went spinning out of control.

The commotion - the echo of your cries - easily woke up Manny, and you began to profusely apologize before he trampled over this with his worry for you. He instantly reminded you of the big brother figure who used to slide you his pudding cups before he went to arms training while living at Saint Mary’s. 

He made you a cup of tea while Abby sat you down on the edge of her bed, cradling you against her chest and waiting for you to calm down. 

When Manny saw the marks on you, he exchanged a look with Abby. He knew that whoever had harmed you would soon be experiencing infinitely more wrath than they ever thought to bring upon you.

Eventually, your sobs calmed enough for you to explain the situation to them. 

Just as Abby suspected, you ended up telling her a long tale about how this once dreamy boyfriend had turned into a monster; he had shed his skin and shown another face, and he had been abusing you for a few weeks now, hurting you in the worst ways, right under everyone’s noses. 

Abby felt a stinging type of guilt splash up into her throat, and she had a feeling that she was never going to forgive herself for letting you be around that man. 

It had started at Jordan’s birthday party. That night, he had accused you of sleeping with Owen behind his back, and you had nearly scorched your throat trying to explain to him that Owen was your long-time friend, more like a brother to you. But that had only ended with you having a busted lip for ‘lying’ to him. 

And things had only gone downhill from there. 

The most recent incident being him coming home from a patrol to find that the dishes in your now shared apartment weren’t done, and he had called you a sloppy, lazy pig. The ensuing fight had ended with him nearly strangling you to death until you broke one of those dirty plates over his head.

Abby pulsed with anger, and when she went for the door, Manny stopped her. 

He nodded toward where you were still sitting on her bed, your body still visibly shaking as you stared at the floor with a completely blank look. Thunder rolled outside and the loud sound caused your entire body to jolt, and more tears rolled down your cheeks. 

Abby’s insides ached for you. She felt guilty for not following her gut feelings sooner, for not trying to help you sooner. 

“Abs, she needs you right now.” Manny told her. “I want that pendejo dead as much as you do.” He grunted these words with intense furocity, anger, passion. He needed to protect you as badly as she did. 

Abby almost tempted him. She wanted to encourage the bad side that she knew he had. She wanted that fucking prick’s throat under her hands, struggling for breath right now. 

“But tonight…” Manny continued, putting a hand on Abby’s shoulder, pulling her from the murderous revere that he knew she was disappearing into. “She needs a safe place to fall. Tomorrow, we can go to his place with a body bag and a shovel.” 

Unfortunately, he was right. 

So, as much as she wanted to charge out the door and bring the wrath of god to the man who had hurt you - instead, she got you to drink the rest of the tea, and then she got you something oversized and comfortable to wear. 

She put you on the inside of the bed, closer to the wall to help you feel safe. 

Abby stared up at the bottom of the bunk, cursing herself for not trusting her instincts, listening to your sniffling cries. She was entirely surprised when you spoke. 

“I’m sorry.” You said, once again attempting to apologize for ‘imposing’ yourself on Abby and Manny in your time of need. As if you weren’t supposed to lean on good friends. As if these friendships weren’t founded on needing each other. “I shouldn’t be bothering you like this, I-” 

You moved to climb around Abby, moved to get out of the bed, and Abby stopped you with a gentle hand on your waist. You froze on the spot, your body half pressed against hers. She tried to ignore the tingles it sent through her, feeling you pressed up against her so close. You were vulnerable. You didn’t need her and her stupid feelings making things so messy. 

“Are you seriously going back to him?” Abby asked, her throat nearly stripped raw with rage. 

You let out a quiet whimper, and She wanted to kick herself. Of course you thought her anger was misdirected at you. 

“I’m sorry.” She doubled back, entirely quiet now. She reached up, gently cupping the back of your head, trying to soothe you. “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant, I’m sorry-” 

“It’s all my fucking fault.” You sobbed, dissolving into more harsh cries. “I should just listen better. I can be better, I can be better, I know, I just-” 

“No.” Abby growled, now entirely insulted by the idea that you would ever think it was your fault. Even if you swung first, no one ever had permission to hit you. Not on an earth where Abby was breathing. If anybody ever laid their hands on you, no matter their stupid reasons, they deserved to have it come back on them twice as harsh. “It’s not your fucking fault. Not a chance, baby.” 

‘Baby’ - the word slipped from her lips before she could stop it, and at first she hoped that you wouldn’t hear it over your own chest shaking cries. 

But it seemed to soothe you. In a moment, your sobs quieted down, and you melted into her, your body going lax against hers, laying on top of her in a way that she had quite literally only dreamed of. 

“Abby-?” You croaked out, not daring to ask if your ears had been mistaken. 

“You deserve so much better than that.” Abby replied, her voice quaking with passion and the intense purity of her declaration. “So much better than whatever that fucking asshole has been giving you.” 

You lifted your head from where it had fallen on her shoulder then. Your eyes were glassy with tears, the one still swollen and bruised from where he had hit you, possibly worse now as the injury truly set in. Abby reached over and grazed a thumb oh-so-lightly over the ring of the bruise, cursing it for existing in her mind. You bored into her soul as you stared her down, looking for any trace in her eyes that what she was saying was a feigned comfort, rather than her undeniable truth. 

“Like you?” You posed, the words so quiet on your lips that the breath barely escaped. 

It was a fantasy. It was a far-off dream. 

But still - Abby put a hand on the back of your neck and pulled you into a gentle, entirely sweet kiss. It was a promise. She was never going to let anyone hurt you again. 

In those moments, laying in her bed in the dark, it felt more like a dream. She was too perfect. It couldn’t be real. 

When you pulled back from the kiss, your gentle breaths puffing across her now wet lips, the words got caught in her chest. 

‘I’m going to kill him.’ 

That’s truly what she wanted to say to you. In her mind it was a comforting promise, but she knew that to you, it would sound much more like a foreboding threat. 

She chose something else instead. 

“It’s okay.” She told you quietly. “Go to sleep now.” 

You nodded lightly, and relaxed against Abby once more, tucking your face into her neck. She felt comforted by feeling your gentle breathing against her skin. You fell asleep curled up tight to her body, clutching fistfuls of the blanket and her shirt as the anxiety crept back in while you slept. Abby continued to fitfully go over it all in her mind, wondering how she could have let this happen to you. 

Sometime that night, she did fall asleep (likely from the pure exhaustion of a thirty hour tour). When she woke up - you were gone. Somehow, you had sunk around her sleeping body and disappeared. 

The mind games of your abuser were in full effect; the things he had said to you dancing around inside your head. Even though Abby and Manny didn’t know it, you were on your way to apologize to him for supposedly starting the previous night’s argument. 

Both your friends were struck with worry, and they dressed quickly in order to search for you. 

They thought the best game plan would be to head to the cafeteria, to start asking around to find out if anyone had seen you. Abby was surprised when she got to the cafeteria and easily spotted you among the faces. 

She found that rage boiling in her stomach once again when she saw that you were talking to him. 

It was a feeling that quickly turned blinding when the word ‘whore’ was thrown at you. 

Apparently he believed that because you wearing one of Abby’s shirts (the clothing you had slept in and kept on) it meant you had fucked her, and you were cheating on him yet again. It was a grand conspiracy, because you had never cheated on him with anyone before. (Other than when you had kissed Abby, seeking comfort the night before.) 

But all of that was a mere blur at the back of Abby’s mind. 

She felt herself snap when you moved to walk away from him and he grabbed your wrist with an abrasive roughness, jerking you back toward him. 

Without hesitation - without even considering any earthly consequences, Abby charged toward him. When you saw her large, intimidating form appear behind him, your eyes lit up like a deer in headlights, but he didn’t seem to notice her coming. That would be his demise. He was too hellbent on torturing you to pick up on anything else. 

It gave Abby the perfect opportunity. 

She grabbed the back of his collar and lined up a punch. The impact to his nose caused him to drop the grip on your wrist, and you cupped your hands over your face to muffle a gasp as you watched the fountain of blood spatter out from the hit. He screamed out, starting on some kind of protest, but Abby landed another hit on his jaw with a curled fist. This sent him hurtling toward the floor, landing flat like a starfish on his back, only semi-conscious at this point. 

She had gathered the attention of everyone in the room by now; random strangers who stared with shock and awe as she stepped toward him and put a knee in the middle of his chest. Some people began to cheer at the very one-sided brawl as Abby continued to brutalize the man, pummeling his face with her fists, completely fuelled by her intense rage, intent on punishing him for even thinking about hurting you. 

You yelled a protest, and moved toward her, wanting to stop the violence. But immediately Manny thought better of anyone getting between Abby and her target, especially in this state of intense blinding rage, so he caught you by the shoulders and held you back. He simply let you collapse into his chest and cry as Abby continued to bruise her knuckles on the man’s stupid face. 

Owen was the only one brave enough to push through the crowd, grabbing Abby’s elbow and screaming her name. He dared to pull her off the unconscious, nearly dead man as she continued to pant like a raging bull. 

Abby didn’t even have time to bandage her knuckles before news of the incident got back to Isaac. And then you, her, Manny, and Owen got called up to his office at the FOB to explain why one of the newbies was in a coma after being beaten half to death in the middle of the cafeteria. On her way to the trucks, Abby caught Nora by the elbow and tried to convince the medic to smother your ‘boyfriend’ with a pillow. Nora said she would if she could get a moment alone in his room in the medbay. Naturally, she trusted Abby��s judgment enough to know the guy was a scumbag without having to ask why. 

Abby was the first one to be called into Isaac’s office while you sat in a chair in the hallway. You were still crying hysterically; upset that it had come to such intense violence, shocked that you had witnessed something so bloody, and terrified that Abby was now going to get in trouble with Isaac because of you. 

Manny and Owen waited with you; Owen trying to get the full story out of you and Manny sheltering you, trying to get Owen to lay off his questioning, seeing as you were still sensitive and shaken from almost being murdered the night before. 

When Abby sat in the chair across from Isaac, she crossed her arms and slouched, spreading her legs wide, her jaw still absolutely tight with anger. She made no effort to hide her bloodied knuckles. 

Isaac cleared his throat loudly before he spoke. 

“Now I know, if you tried to kill that man, you had a damn good reason to.” He said, giving Abby the benefit of the doubt. “What did he do?” 

“He knows what he did.” Abby huffed out, almost too angered to think about it without spiraling out into another rage fit. 

Isaac glared at her, obviously wanted a better explanation than that. 

“If he’s unfortunate enough to wake up, you can ask him about it.” She gritted through her teeth. 

Isaac sighed hard. “Now, that’s not very helpful, Abby.” 

Hatred churned in Abby’s chest. She hated having to speak it aloud, but she supposed it was necessary. She hated that Issac was putting you through this, rather than simply believing that Abby knew what justice was when she saw it.  

“He tried to kill Y/N.” Abby said, hot, rage-fuelled tears gripping at her throat. “He’s been abusing her.” 

Isaac did need to confirm the story with you, and you insisted that Abby sit in the room with you while you talked to him. Isaac was someone you found vastly intimidating because you rarely had to deal with him. 

Abby stood behind your chair with a comforting hand on your shoulder while you spelled out the entire thing, Isaac listening quietly - the bruises on you were more than enough proof for him, and he had Manny come to collect you and get you some water and some tissues while he told Abby how the whole thing should be taken care of. 

“When you get back, tell Nora to pull back the young man’s medical care. I don’t need him wasting resources.” Isaac instructed, firm and simple. 

He was a practical man, and Abby admired that. 

“If he somehow miraculously pulls through, we’ll… deal with him then.” Isaac continued. Abby nodded. “Next time something like this happens, deal with it more privately. Shooting a rabid dog in public frightens people. You know I trust your judgment on these matters, but… I don’t need others questioning you.” 

“Yes sir.” Abby quickly agreed. 

They took you back home and Manny took you back to their apartment to help you get settled, saying something about ‘right way to cook eggs’ as he took you down the hallway. Abby knew he would keep you distracted while she took care of business. She then visited the medbay to give Nora that note about ‘withdrawing’ the scumbag’s medical care. Which in reality, just meant that Nora guarded the door while Abby smothered the guy with a pillow, not to take any chances. 

Over the next few weeks, Abby made sure that you would be safe. She moved you into her and Manny’s apartment, ensuring you would be close by to start you on a road to better healing, and even though it was tough - things did go up from there. 

You found it easier to heal and get back to being your old self while being close by to your friends, and if you realized the feelings you’d had for Abby the whole time - that was just a bonus. 

It was something you reflected on one morning as you tossed a tennis ball to one of the dogs. You weren’t expecting Abby to come by - you didn’t think she would be collecting a dog, you didn’t think she had a patrol that day. 

“Are you checking someone out?” You asked, reaching down again to grab the tennis ball from Bear’s mouth when he brought it back to you. You took a moment to pet him, scrubbing behind his ears as he gratefully leaned into the touch. 

“It’s my day off.” She reminded you. “I just wanted to come check up on you.” 

You gave a grin at this. Even if you hated what that man had done to you, done your mind and your life - you did like how it was bringing you and Abby closer together again. 

“This is the easy part of my day.” You told her, looking down at Bear with fondness. “If you treat them right, they never bite you back.” 

Abby’s expression faltered from lightness, just for a moment. She knew it had a double meaning. You still believed that the whole thing had somehow been your fault. 

She gently reached out and took the tennis ball from your hand, tossing it far to the other end of the fenced in yard, causing Bear to run after it. It was a temporary distraction away from the dog so that you would have to face her. 

Abby knelt down beside you, where you had been crouching at Bear’s level, and cupped your face very timidly in her hand. You leaned into the touch, now locked in her precious gaze as she gathered the right words for you. 

“You are a good person, Y/N.” Abby told you firmly. “You deserve nothing but goodness in return. And anybody who treats you with anything less than kindness is someone who has evil in their heart. And they deserve to suffer because of it.” 

Tears clouded your eyes at the pure sincerity of her words. 

“Abby-” You croaked. 

Before you could get caught up in possibly arguing with her, Bear came barreling back, and dropping the ball in your lap once again. He then licked a large stripe up the side of your face, and you dissolved into laughter because of it. 

Abby wanted to get used to hearing that sound.

...

A/N: This is a standalone one, so please do not ask me for a sequel to a continuation to it. If you enjoyed this, please comment about the body of work that I have already written, and if you want more, feel free to check out the numerous other Abby fics that I have on my TLOU Masterlist. Thank you!!!

[starry-bi-sky]

Clone Danny: Dan interlude 7.5

i'm writing this because im struggling to come up with the next part to the clone danny au. however I have had many thoughts about our resident evil man. So if anyone remembers part two of this au, I mentioned that I wanted to make Dan's circumstances a little different than canon, considering Danny's circumstances were different. I'm not sure where I got the idea that Dan wouldn't be inclined to destroy the world after his creation, but i'm sticking with it because I love to explore new things in aus. So 👏 DAN and i swear i might end up calling him a different name because ong i cant stand the name Dan

so. Dan. Dante? I like Dante. but i'll call him Dan for the time being. So: clone danny is not a halfa, right? not really at least. he has a core and he has the ghost sense but nothing else. big difference in canon already since there's no 'ghost half' for vlad to rip out like in canon.

Danny's family is DEAD. disintegrated [exaggeration] in a nasty burger explosion. so he's. bruce wayne levels of depressed. real bruce wayne-core

Vlad, instead of offering to tear out his ghost half, instead offers to try and find a way for Danny to be safely reunited with his family in the afterlife

(he's lying. he's gonna try and make danny a halfa)

Ofc, Danny with his ghost-core obsession being family-based, agrees. he's desperate and depressed. ripe for the picking

Vlad gets everything set up. But turning a human into a halfa is risky risky business, a 1-and-100 chance to happen successfully

so. Danny dies in the experiment. painfully. and he comes back immediately as a ghost. essentially murdered

and ye gods is he PISSED. Vlad lied to him. Vlad lied to him. Danny is a family-obsessed ghost and Vlad lied to him about his family and then he killed him

Vlad is a dead man

Danny doesn't just kill Vlad, he destroys him. He never merges with his Vlad's ghost half because he doesn't want power he wants him fucking dead.

SO dead Vlad is.

now where does this leave our precious, freshly ghosted, full-of-rage Daniel Fenton?

not destroying the world thats for certain. and, well. that's not to say that Danny couldn't go on a blind, grief-stricken rage that results in him becoming the walking apocalypse. he could totally still do that

do I want to do that? well, i don't hate the idea however I personally enjoy the idea that I came up with in the alternative

with Dan no longer a one-ghost-apocalypse, how does he become Danny's TUE? My solution: time travel. Danny doesn't go to the future to go see him, Dan comes back to the past to go see Danny.

i am not partial to the idea that ghosts age over time. So for the last ten years Dan has remained as a dead 14 year old kid the entire time. I like to think its more tragic that way.

At some point during those ten years, Dan figures out that time travel is real. And he becomes obsessed with figuring out how to do it so that he can go back in time and take his past self's life and get his family back

Yeah. a real Miguel O'Hara right here folks

Dan succeeds in his time travel, and suddenly the Phantom's nightly patrol is being interrupted by a ghost that is... unsettlingly similar to him.

Dan knows himself better than anyone. When he finds out time travel is real, he spends his time researching it and growing stronger. He needs to be as unpredictable as possible. He knows that his past self will be in his prime as the Phantom and will be used to adapting to unpredictable and seemingly invincible enemies. He needs to be able to beat that

So. Dan and Danny fight the first(1) time

Danny gets his ass handed to him

Dan reveals himself and goes on a villain monologue. Dan's ghost form is different than in canon, since its a close replica to Danny's Phantom gear. The only difference is that Dan's white CJ Mask has black tear streaks down from the eyes that are blotchy and smudged. As if he'd been crying ink. There are a few other subtle differences too, like Dan has a few trinkets that are motifs to his family, but i can't think of what without cluttering up his outfit

Dan can't kill Danny, unfortunately. As its his past self. Killing him would result in Dan ceasing to exist. However he can imprison him or overshadow him. Dan overshadows him, and Danny goes under.

This is chalking up to be more traumatizing for Danny than I thought

Danny is only partially conscious during the overshadowing. It's like one of those weird vertigo dreams. something is wrong but he doesn't know what

And it's actually his friends that help realize that something is wrong. Dan may be Danny, but its been ten years since he last saw his friends. Something has to give. Whether it be the subtle strangeness in his behavior, a dip in his humor and morality, or the way he speaks like he's reminiscing.

This idea is diverging more from canon than i thought, but Danny does eventually kick out Dan and defeat him. But its right before the nasty burger explosion. Danny can't make it in time, but Dan does. A very sudden save that Danny wasn't expecting and is confused about

Danny eventually meets up with Dan later that night to interrogate him, and brings Sam and Tucker with. They find out his whole tragic backstory

And the few days Dan has had with Sam and Tucker and back with his family have kinda reminded him what he was like before his death and before rage and grief took over his afterlife

He's kinda mellowed out slightly -- or at least snapped out of his obsession mostly.

they talk. Dan talks about what happened in his timeline. probably breaks down and cries, allowing him to properly process the grief he's been avoiding for the last decade

there's no forgiveness yet. Dan overshadowed Danny (terrifying him in the process and realizing that despite everything, there are still things that ghosts can do that Danny's not prepared for. he needs to prepare), tried to take over his life, and was all around violent and cruel to him out of jealousy and desperation. However, there is a chance of redemption

Dan doesnt want to go back to his time. his family isn't there. he's alone. he doesnt want to be alone. he's fourteen years old and dead

but... but he knows he doesn't belong here. his time with the fentons has passed, and he has an afterlife to look into. he can't... cling to the past. and its a voice that sounds like jazz saying this in his head

"you can visit" danny says after a moment, seeing the fear on dan's face. he's a bleeding heart through and through, even if he resents Dan just a little bit for what he did "you know how to time travel, right? I don't think there's any harm coming to visit"

"or," tucker says, "we can visit you! you can show us your time! i want to see what technology is like in ten years"

Dan... looks hopeful. and they mean it too. yes. visiting... that makes him feel better. "if Vlad gives you trouble don't be afraid to tell me" he offers in turn, and smiles wide and toothily. much too wide for a human. "i'll be happy to handle him again"

Danny makes a mental note to never let the two meet. "i will"

and Dan disappears

----------

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 4.5 (Dani interlude) Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.5 (Dan Interlude) Part 8

Masterpost

Taglist: @the-navistar-carol @thought-u-said-dragon-queen @gin2212 @youracearocroatneighbour @luckybyrdrobyn @deeplyconfusedbear @epilepticnerd @beautifulmomenttodrawblank @sara0055 @blusunkhild @letmesayfuxk (?) @latheevening226 @tkiesai @rosedasy @meira-3919 @igotafewbadideas @princessbelix @cyber-geist

[hubristicassholefight]

Hubristic Assholes Tourney round 1 part 4a

Eustass Kidd (One Piece) vs Magolor (Kirby Series)

Propaganda below cut (Beware spoilers)

Eustass

Challenged one of the strongest pirates in the world, got wrecked and lost an arm, only to challenge the same overpowered guy again two years later and get absolutely consequence'd. Between those two occurences he has been nothing but a rude and violent menace; purebred stupid asshole, absolute unit of a motherfucker who physically cannot quit fucking around and finding out

Magolor

He used Kirby and his friends to steal the Master Crown, an object of limitless power, to rule the universe, but it only ended up possessing him and morphing him beyond recognition; he is a sopping wet cat that after betraying kirby and friends and making his way out of actual hell, made an amusement park for kirby to apologize for his misdeeds

Tries to fight a dragon that's guarding an ancient legendary crown that grants ultimate power (the Master Crown), gets his ship shot down by it. Crash lands where Kirby finds him and he lies to to Kirby to get him to fix his ship, and lies about the dragon stealing the crown from *him* to get Kirby to defeat it on his behalf. He takes the crown for himself and wears it to transform into a more powerful form and attempt world domination, but the crown contains dangerous dark matter, which starts to take control over him during his boss fight with Kirby (he can be heard yelling for kirby to help him in the bg of one of the boss fight tracks). When Kirby defeats him he gets sent to Another Dimension, loses almost all of his powers/health (both those granted by the crown and the powers he had before) and his clothes turn into rags. (also his cool senient boat who used to fight Kirby with also abandons him). The epilogue of RTDLDX is him having to fight his way through the (previously weak, now formidable) enemies of the dimension to slowly regain his powers/defeat the crown that previously controlled him to escape into the Kirby Clash dimension; His epilogue outfit is the most sad wet cat character design I've ever seen. Also post-redemption he still references his villain monologue/desire for world-domination a few times as a bit which is fun

[valerieofavonlea]

Let's talk about this one for a moment, because Brandon's reaction is incredibly interesting.

We have what the question would have been, but I don't think it's the question Brandon assumed it was. I just don't know that the name/intent of the last shard would warrant such a hard rafo.

So, what do we think the importance of Hoid's monologue could possibly be? Here it is in full:

“Well?” Wit asked, pausing the music. “What do you think? If a man or woman were to have a talent, which would be the most revered, best regarded, considered of the most worth?” “Er … music?” one of the men finally said. “Yes, a common answer,” Wit said, plucking at a few low notes. “I once asked this question of some very wise scholars. What do men consider the most valuable of talents? One mentioned artistic ability, as you so keenly guessed. Another chose great intellect. The final chose the talent to invent, the ability to design and create marvelous devices.” He didn’t play a specific tune on the enthir, just plucks here and there, an occasional scale or fifth. Like chitchat in string form. “Aesthetic genius,” Wit said, “invention, acumen, creativity. Noble ideals indeed. Most men would pick one of those, if given the choice, and name them the greatest of talents.” He plucked a string. “What beautiful liars we are.” The guards glanced at each other; the torches burning in brackets on the wall painted them with orange light. “You think I’m a cynic,” Wit said. “You think I’m going to tell you that men claim to value these ideals, but secretly prefer base talents. The ability to gather coin or to charm women. Well, I am a cynic, but in this case, I actually think those scholars were honest. Their answers speak for the souls of men. In our hearts, we want to believe in—and would choose—great accomplishment and virtue. That’s why our lies, particularly to ourselves, are so beautiful.”

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Hello, WKA.....Do you mind if I ask your top 5 (or top 10) favorite moments from any media that you love (books, anime/manga, tv series, movies, games, etc)? Thanks if you want to answer. Sorry if I ask too much....

Sorry it took me so long to respond to this, a lot of these are going to be more recent because I have the memory of a goldfish. Also there are far too many favorite moments for me so this is an impossible question, but here are a couple:

1. Love/Live in Mr. Sunshine

There is a little moment in the kdrama Mr. Sunshine that is just this gorgeous visual moment where the main characters are meeting at a bakery. The main male lead, Eugene wrote the word LOVE on some flour using a wedding ring to form the letter O. When he picks up the ring to hand to the main female lead, Ae Shin, his finger brushes the flour and leaves a line, turning the word in to LIVE which is the like core premise of most of the main character's motivations. Make sure Ae Shin lives. It made me burst, quite suddenly in to tears.

2. The "are you two my sons?" monologue from Go Ahead

gif by @zhouszishu

Multiple of my mutuals recently convinced me to watch Go Ahead which was a great decision but also made me super fucking emotional. My favorite moment in the show is the drunken rant Li Dad gives that is telling off one of his sons' aunts who keeps trying to tell her nephew that he isn't Li's actual child. Once again, I burst immediately in to tears when Li Dad says 'I held you in my palms." I cried about that line for days.

3. "Mom?" from Gyeongseong Creature

gif by @duahauuoplanh

God this entire scene is brilliant, and...once again. I immediately burst in to tears and the build up to this was fantastic. This show is brilliantly written, and the message is super important.

4. "She's like me, she's like me, she's like me" from The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White

This is from a scene in Chapter 9 of the book The Spirit Bares Its Teeth where a trans character meets another trans person for the first time in his life. It made me cry so fucking hard, I was so so happy. I will cherish that chapter forever.

5. All of Ossan no Pantsu tbh

gif by @avorbl

This post is dedicated to @lurkingshan without whom I would not have watched at least three of these

[tenpintsofsundrop]

Decided To Break It

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

All the broken hearts that hang around here. All the sick things that make you pull out your hair. All the bad dreams, all the nightmares.

A thousand promises that never seemed to help me before...

With nothing left to think I'll probably sit around and ignore. The apathy that always leads me... And always finds a way to break me down. And that's when I Decided To Break It.

Summary:

Abby confronts your abuser, and you both come out better on the other side because of it.

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader. Childhood Friends to Lovers. Hurt and Comfort. Can be read with or without considering the canon events.

Word Count: 5,000

The Last of Us Masterlist | AO3 Link | Ellie Version

If you want to be notified whenever I post a new fic, make sure to go to my library blog @sundropslibrary and turn on notifications there.

List of detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: reader uses she/her pronouns, themes of abuse and abusive relationships, domestic abuse, childhood friends to lovers, hurt and comfort, mentions of canon deaths and incidents of canon violence, Abby has a self deprecating inner monologue, Abby experiencing some transphobic comments (even though she is not trans in this - angry cis men are just like that), the reader’s abusive partner is a man, the reader is described as having injuries from a physically abusive incident, the reader experiencing physical and emotional abuse from a romantic partner, the reader is saved from her abusive partner by Abby (and Manny), the reader is mentioned to be wearing Abby’s clothes - but Abby is a big muscled girl so I think plus sized girls could fit her clothes (especially if they were clothes that were big on Abby), Abby calls the reader ‘baby’, some romantic involvement between Abby and the reader (but the bulk of the focus is on Abby rescuing the reader form the abuse), technically cheating - because the reader kisses Abby while she is still involved with her abusive boyfriend, Abby murdering someone with her bare fists (technically with her fists and then smothering him with a pillow), somewhat graphic descriptions of Abby beating up the abuser, happy/hopeful ending. 

A/N: Title comes from a Marianas Trench song of the same name. I have always thought of it as a very Abby song (and it's on my Abby playlist) - I think it definitely represents her following the Fireflies and then the Wolves with them feeding her blind promises that don't work out for her, and when she 'decides to break it' is when she decides to break free from the mould in order to help Lev and Yara. And in this case, the broken promises and lies are two fold - her pushing down her feelings for y/n and her seeing y/n be 'happy' with the abusive boyfriend, and when she finally snaps is when she 'decides to break it'. I like how it fits. It could also be fitting of how someone in an abusive relationship is fed lies and empty promises and it's difficult to break away from that.

...

Abby had always liked you - she always loved you, even if she claimed over and over again, wasted her breath telling people that it was strictly the type of love reserved for a friend. 

But she refused to admit the true nature of those feelings to herself. She refused to call it love, or romance, or affection. Maybe because she didn’t even realize that’s what it was in her own mind. But she definitely had a childhood crush on you that blossomed into something else along the way. 

You were someone that Abby’s dad was always fond of when you lived with the Fireflies at Saint Mary’s hospital. And though you weren’t studying to become a medic, Jerry always pushed Abby to hang around you more because you were sweet, good natured, and bookish, and he always thought you were a very good influence on her. 

It was something that led the two of you to become fast friends. When the two of you were still so young and the world was still so small, you were each other’s biggest priority in it. 

Abby often mourned for those days like winter days mourn for summer. But she could never imagine how the two of you might get back that kind of closeness. 

Living at the WLF, you unintentionally drifted away from Abby. 

The Salt Lake Crew was always close, especially after making the treacherous journey from Salt Lake to Seattle with nothing more than a tiny glimmer of hope for their safety after the bloody massacre at Saint Mary’s. 

Abby protected you the whole way, made sure you never had to carry a gun, would have thrown down her life to save yours at any moment during the journey - especially when she was stuck in such deep depression after her father’s death. In a lot of ways, you kept her alive during those days. You kept her spirit alive, made sure she held onto the good memories of her father instead of throwing herself headfirst into the darkness. 

But when everyone integrated into the WLF, things changed. It was a very rapid shift from the group spending 24/7 together, watching each other’s backs, to everyone having different jobs based on their skills and having colliding schedules that caused them to part and spend less and less time around each other. 

Manny and Abby were the ones who ended up staying the closest - ironically, even closer than the romantic couples of Mel and Owen, and Leah and Jordan. Mostly likely because they roomed together, and they often patrolled together. 

Abby was always regretful of the fact that she didn’t get to see you more often. 

Whenever Abby saw you around, in the cafeteria or during the rare occasions when the old crew could work their schedules to get together (usually using someone’s birthday or another celebration as an excuse) she mourned the fact that the two of you were drifting apart. It seemed like the two of you were becoming more like strangers as the days went on. 

You had taken a job as a dog trainer, wrangling the many pups that the WLF raised and kept on hand, so Abby saw you most often in passing if she was checking out one of the dogs for patrol. 

She often found herself with a pang of yearning in her chest if she saw you cooing sweetly at the pups, petting them, knowing that they could tear out the throats of enemies with their teeth but cuddling with them and calling them ‘baby’ in the same breath. 

(Deep down, she was reminded of herself - how she felt rough and horrible and she often felt unlovable, but she thought someone as soft and sweet as you could still love her. She hoped that you would.)

Very often during their conversations, Manny insisted that Abby had a crush on you. He said that she always had and that he had seen it for years, and Abby was being dumb not to pursue her feelings for you. These conversations usually ended with Abby rolling her eyes and pointing the finger back to his love life, asking why he didn’t just settle down with one of the many nice girls who frequented his bed. 

The topic came up so often between them, but it was something that Abby tried not to think about. The two of you dating. The two of you being anything more than friends. It felt so fictional. Often when Manny spoke about it, it felt like a joke in her ears. 

It was something that was latent in her mind until she saw you with him.

He was some random scumbag - some new trainee who had come in from a settlement outside the city that Isaac had broken up. He had allowed some of their people in (“strength in numbers” he always said). But seeing you with him, Abby gave less of a shit about where the guy came from, and started thinking about where he was heading to and how quickly she could get him away from you. 

Seeing the way you looked at him, with stars in your eyes, entirely lovestruck, while he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear - it just made Abby nauseous.

Abby had been working with some of the new recruits. Fucking morons. Isaac had asked her to whip them into shape, her experience and skill vs their idiocy. 

It was the only reason she knew the guy. It was the only reason she could pick out his stupid face among the seemingly endless sea of people at the WLF. 

She remembered this idiot specifically. He had made sure of that. He was too cocky, but didn’t know his way around a gun. When he had gotten his hands on one of the semi-automatics, he got trigger happy and put several bullet holes in one of the concrete walls. He would have blown away half the squad if his dumbass had been two inches in the other direction. 

When Abby had snatched the weapon out of his hand and began reprimanding him about gun safety, he had gotten in her face and called her a ‘meathead’ and made some rude comments about her possibly having a dick. Clearly, he was intimidated by her size. She let him be. 

(And yeah, she did have a dick. In a box under her bed. One that the girls she and Manny shared around often joked was better than the real thing.)

It was immediately clear to Abby that you didn’t have a clue what the guy was really like. You wouldn’t have any interest in him if you knew what he was like in the field, if you knew how he had spoken to some of your friends. 

You kissed him sweetly on the mouth before you parted ways. Clearly completely unaware that Abby was watching with rage boiling inside of her veins. It was only when Abby looked at the crushed water bottle in her hand that she realized why her shoes were wet - unconsciously, she had been imagining that it was his head.

Manny chalked up her hatred of your new boyfriend to jealousy. And maybe it was. She had no other reasons to hate the guy. No good ones, anyway. Incompetency aside, he learned fast and got over his major flaws, and he quickly learned to only trash talk Abby behind her back so that she couldn’t take any real complaints about him to Isaac. 

When you brought him to Jordan’s birthday party and introduced him to the rest of the group as your boyfriend, they all seemed happy for you.

They didn’t suspect anything when he glared at you with absolute fire in his eyes as you joked around with Owen - someone you thought of as a brother. The cause of a very funny story (that the group still brought up often) when you ate literal dirt rather than kissing him during a game of truth or dare when you were all teenagers. 

Unfortunately, Abby didn’t have any evidence to back up her horrible gut feeling when you and your ‘new boo’ disappeared from the party so suddenly. When she had asked Nora, apparently you left because you were complaining about being tired.

Over the next few weeks, Abby watched you fade away from a distance. 

Your glowing smile became a dull, fake one. Whenever she saw you, you avoided her gaze. And the rare times when you would look her in the eye, she could see you crying out for help from within.

She thought she was being paranoid. She thought it was her pure spite of the man you were dating - some jealousy, a childhood crush bubbling over, the fact that she hadn’t gotten to you first. The fact that she hadn’t been brave enough to confess her feelings to you that she hadn’t even admitted to herself. 

She wanted to believe that you were fine, that you were thriving and happy in your new relationship, before she let herself think that you were actually being hurt by someone who claimed to love you.

Until one night when she was alerted by a knock on her door. 

She and Manny had just come back from a thirty hour patrol shift, and he was already dead asleep. Abby had just gotten out of the shower, combing through her long, wet tendrils as a characteristic Seattle storm thundered outside.

She rushed to put on a tee shirt along with her form fitting boxer briefs to look decent. Even though the only light in the small apartment was currently the flashes of lightning from outside as she walked across to the door. She thought perhaps she had imagined it, the sound of knuckles, the sound of someone trying to grab her attention. It would have been easy to mistake. The thunder rumbling and the rain pounding on the windows was certainly distracting. 

Nonetheless, she opened the door to check if her mind was really that far gone after such a long shift. 

She gave a small smile when she saw you standing there. Usually you didn’t take time out of your busy schedule to come and see her. 

But when the next flash of lighting came, and fully illuminated you where you stood in the hallway, it made Abby’s gut curl with a unique sickness. The look of pure fear in your eyes, the swelling of purple around one of them, the distinct marking around your neck that looked like fucking handprints, marks of thumbs attempting to press into your windpipe.

Abby felt the rage of god and intense pity, mourning and regret, her love for you swell up inside of her all at once.

“Y/N.” 

She said your name in a voice so gently, a timid kindness that you hadn’t been treated with in weeks - it instantly broke you.

You broke down in sobs, muttering out ‘I’m sorry to bother you’ - but Abby didn’t let you get out a moment of apologetic self pity before she swept you up into her arms, pressing the uninjured side of your face against her chest as she ushered you into the apartment and closed the door behind you.

You clutched onto her like a lifeline when stranded at sea, balling your knuckles into the fabric of her shirt as she put her strong arms around your quivering body, cradling you. She had a heavy suspicion as to what had happened to you, but she was going to wait for you to point at the suspect before she went spinning out of control.

The commotion - the echo of your cries - easily woke up Manny, and you began to profusely apologize before he trampled over this with his worry for you. He instantly reminded you of the big brother figure who used to slide you his pudding cups before he went to arms training while living at Saint Mary’s. 

He made you a cup of tea while Abby sat you down on the edge of her bed, cradling you against her chest and waiting for you to calm down. 

When Manny saw the marks on you, he exchanged a look with Abby. He knew that whoever had harmed you would soon be experiencing infinitely more wrath than they ever thought to bring upon you.

Eventually, your sobs calmed enough for you to explain the situation to them. 

Just as Abby suspected, you ended up telling her a long tale about how this once dreamy boyfriend had turned into a monster; he had shed his skin and shown another face, and he had been abusing you for a few weeks now, hurting you in the worst ways, right under everyone’s noses. 

Abby felt a stinging type of guilt splash up into her throat, and she had a feeling that she was never going to forgive herself for letting you be around that man. 

It had started at Jordan’s birthday party. That night, he had accused you of sleeping with Owen behind his back, and you had nearly scorched your throat trying to explain to him that Owen was your long-time friend, more like a brother to you. But that had only ended with you having a busted lip for ‘lying’ to him. 

And things had only gone downhill from there. 

The most recent incident being him coming home from a patrol to find that the dishes in your now shared apartment weren’t done, and he had called you a sloppy, lazy pig. The ensuing fight had ended with him nearly strangling you to death until you broke one of those dirty plates over his head.

Abby pulsed with anger, and when she went for the door, Manny stopped her. 

He nodded toward where you were still sitting on her bed, your body still visibly shaking as you stared at the floor with a completely blank look. Thunder rolled outside and the loud sound caused your entire body to jolt, and more tears rolled down your cheeks. 

Abby’s insides ached for you. She felt guilty for not following her gut feelings sooner, for not trying to help you sooner. 

“Abs, she needs you right now.” Manny told her. “I want that pendejo dead as much as you do.” He grunted these words with intense furocity, anger, passion. He needed to protect you as badly as she did. 

Abby almost tempted him. She wanted to encourage the bad side that she knew he had. She wanted that fucking prick’s throat under her hands, struggling for breath right now. 

“But tonight…” Manny continued, putting a hand on Abby’s shoulder, pulling her from the murderous revere that he knew she was disappearing into. “She needs a safe place to fall. Tomorrow, we can go to his place with a body bag and a shovel.” 

Unfortunately, he was right. 

So, as much as she wanted to charge out the door and bring the wrath of god to the man who had hurt you - instead, she got you to drink the rest of the tea, and then she got you something oversized and comfortable to wear. 

She put you on the inside of the bed, closer to the wall to help you feel safe. 

Abby stared up at the bottom of the bunk, cursing herself for not trusting her instincts, listening to your sniffling cries. She was entirely surprised when you spoke. 

“I’m sorry.” You said, once again attempting to apologize for ‘imposing’ yourself on Abby and Manny in your time of need. As if you weren’t supposed to lean on good friends. As if these friendships weren’t founded on needing each other. “I shouldn’t be bothering you like this, I-” 

You moved to climb around Abby, moved to get out of the bed, and Abby stopped you with a gentle hand on your waist. You froze on the spot, your body half pressed against hers. She tried to ignore the tingles it sent through her, feeling you pressed up against her so close. You were vulnerable. You didn’t need her and her stupid feelings making things so messy. 

“Are you seriously going back to him?” Abby asked, her throat nearly stripped raw with rage. 

You let out a quiet whimper, and She wanted to kick herself. Of course you thought her anger was misdirected at you. 

“I’m sorry.” She doubled back, entirely quiet now. She reached up, gently cupping the back of your head, trying to soothe you. “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant, I’m sorry-” 

“It’s all my fucking fault.” You sobbed, dissolving into more harsh cries. “I should just listen better. I can be better, I can be better, I know, I just-” 

“No.” Abby growled, now entirely insulted by the idea that you would ever think it was your fault. Even if you swung first, no one ever had permission to hit you. Not on an earth where Abby was breathing. If anybody ever laid their hands on you, no matter their stupid reasons, they deserved to have it come back on them twice as harsh. “It’s not your fucking fault. Not a chance, baby.” 

‘Baby’ - the word slipped from her lips before she could stop it, and at first she hoped that you wouldn’t hear it over your own chest shaking cries. 

But it seemed to soothe you. In a moment, your sobs quieted down, and you melted into her, your body going lax against hers, laying on top of her in a way that she had quite literally only dreamed of. 

“Abby-?” You croaked out, not daring to ask if your ears had been mistaken. 

“You deserve so much better than that.” Abby replied, her voice quaking with passion and the intense purity of her declaration. “So much better than whatever that fucking asshole has been giving you.” 

You lifted your head from where it had fallen on her shoulder then. Your eyes were glassy with tears, the one still swollen and bruised from where he had hit you, possibly worse now as the injury truly set in. Abby reached over and grazed a thumb oh-so-lightly over the ring of the bruise, cursing it for existing in her mind. You bored into her soul as you stared her down, looking for any trace in her eyes that what she was saying was a feigned comfort, rather than her undeniable truth. 

“Like you?” You posed, the words so quiet on your lips that the breath barely escaped. 

It was a fantasy. It was a far-off dream. 

But still - Abby put a hand on the back of your neck and pulled you into a gentle, entirely sweet kiss. It was a promise. She was never going to let anyone hurt you again. 

In those moments, laying in her bed in the dark, it felt more like a dream. She was too perfect. It couldn’t be real. 

When you pulled back from the kiss, your gentle breaths puffing across her now wet lips, the words got caught in her chest. 

‘I’m going to kill him.’ 

That’s truly what she wanted to say to you. In her mind it was a comforting promise, but she knew that to you, it would sound much more like a foreboding threat. 

She chose something else instead. 

“It’s okay.” She told you quietly. “Go to sleep now.” 

You nodded lightly, and relaxed against Abby once more, tucking your face into her neck. She felt comforted by feeling your gentle breathing against her skin. You fell asleep curled up tight to her body, clutching fistfuls of the blanket and her shirt as the anxiety crept back in while you slept. Abby continued to fitfully go over it all in her mind, wondering how she could have let this happen to you. 

Sometime that night, she did fall asleep (likely from the pure exhaustion of a thirty hour tour). When she woke up - you were gone. Somehow, you had sunk around her sleeping body and disappeared. 

The mind games of your abuser were in full effect; the things he had said to you dancing around inside your head. Even though Abby and Manny didn’t know it, you were on your way to apologize to him for supposedly starting the previous night’s argument. 

Both your friends were struck with worry, and they dressed quickly in order to search for you. 

They thought the best game plan would be to head to the cafeteria, to start asking around to find out if anyone had seen you. Abby was surprised when she got to the cafeteria and easily spotted you among the faces. 

She found that rage boiling in her stomach once again when she saw that you were talking to him. 

It was a feeling that quickly turned blinding when the word ‘whore’ was thrown at you. 

Apparently he believed that because you wearing one of Abby’s shirts (the clothing you had slept in and kept on) it meant you had fucked her, and you were cheating on him yet again. It was a grand conspiracy, because you had never cheated on him with anyone before. (Other than when you had kissed Abby, seeking comfort the night before.) 

But all of that was a mere blur at the back of Abby’s mind. 

She felt herself snap when you moved to walk away from him and he grabbed your wrist with an abrasive roughness, jerking you back toward him. 

Without hesitation - without even considering any earthly consequences, Abby charged toward him. When you saw her large, intimidating form appear behind him, your eyes lit up like a deer in headlights, but he didn’t seem to notice her coming. That would be his demise. He was too hellbent on torturing you to pick up on anything else. 

It gave Abby the perfect opportunity. 

She grabbed the back of his collar and lined up a punch. The impact to his nose caused him to drop the grip on your wrist, and you cupped your hands over your face to muffle a gasp as you watched the fountain of blood spatter out from the hit. He screamed out, starting on some kind of protest, but Abby landed another hit on his jaw with a curled fist. This sent him hurtling toward the floor, landing flat like a starfish on his back, only semi-conscious at this point. 

She had gathered the attention of everyone in the room by now; random strangers who stared with shock and awe as she stepped toward him and put a knee in the middle of his chest. Some people began to cheer at the very one-sided brawl as Abby continued to brutalize the man, pummeling his face with her fists, completely fuelled by her intense rage, intent on punishing him for even thinking about hurting you. 

You yelled a protest, and moved toward her, wanting to stop the violence. But immediately Manny thought better of anyone getting between Abby and her target, especially in this state of intense blinding rage, so he caught you by the shoulders and held you back. He simply let you collapse into his chest and cry as Abby continued to bruise her knuckles on the man’s stupid face. 

Owen was the only one brave enough to push through the crowd, grabbing Abby’s elbow and screaming her name. He dared to pull her off the unconscious, nearly dead man as she continued to pant like a raging bull. 

Abby didn’t even have time to bandage her knuckles before news of the incident got back to Isaac. And then you, her, Manny, and Owen got called up to his office at the FOB to explain why one of the newbies was in a coma after being beaten half to death in the middle of the cafeteria. On her way to the trucks, Abby caught Nora by the elbow and tried to convince the medic to smother your ‘boyfriend’ with a pillow. Nora said she would if she could get a moment alone in his room in the medbay. Naturally, she trusted Abby’s judgment enough to know the guy was a scumbag without having to ask why. 

Abby was the first one to be called into Isaac’s office while you sat in a chair in the hallway. You were still crying hysterically; upset that it had come to such intense violence, shocked that you had witnessed something so bloody, and terrified that Abby was now going to get in trouble with Isaac because of you. 

Manny and Owen waited with you; Owen trying to get the full story out of you and Manny sheltering you, trying to get Owen to lay off his questioning, seeing as you were still sensitive and shaken from almost being murdered the night before. 

When Abby sat in the chair across from Isaac, she crossed her arms and slouched, spreading her legs wide, her jaw still absolutely tight with anger. She made no effort to hide her bloodied knuckles. 

Isaac cleared his throat loudly before he spoke. 

“Now I know, if you tried to kill that man, you had a damn good reason to.” He said, giving Abby the benefit of the doubt. “What did he do?” 

“He knows what he did.” Abby huffed out, almost too angered to think about it without spiraling out into another rage fit. 

Isaac glared at her, obviously wanted a better explanation than that. 

“If he’s unfortunate enough to wake up, you can ask him about it.” She gritted through her teeth. 

Isaac sighed hard. “Now, that’s not very helpful, Abby.” 

Hatred churned in Abby’s chest. She hated having to speak it aloud, but she supposed it was necessary. She hated that Issac was putting you through this, rather than simply believing that Abby knew what justice was when she saw it.  

“He tried to kill Y/N.” Abby said, hot, rage-fuelled tears gripping at her throat. “He’s been abusing her.” 

Isaac did need to confirm the story with you, and you insisted that Abby sit in the room with you while you talked to him. Isaac was someone you found vastly intimidating because you rarely had to deal with him. 

Abby stood behind your chair with a comforting hand on your shoulder while you spelled out the entire thing, Isaac listening quietly - the bruises on you were more than enough proof for him, and he had Manny come to collect you and get you some water and some tissues while he told Abby how the whole thing should be taken care of. 

“When you get back, tell Nora to pull back the young man’s medical care. I don’t need him wasting resources.” Isaac instructed, firm and simple. 

He was a practical man, and Abby admired that. 

“If he somehow miraculously pulls through, we’ll... deal with him then.” Isaac continued. Abby nodded. “Next time something like this happens, deal with it more privately. Shooting a rabid dog in public frightens people. You know I trust your judgment on these matters, but… I don’t need others questioning you.” 

“Yes sir.” Abby quickly agreed. 

They took you back home and Manny took you back to their apartment to help you get settled, saying something about ‘right way to cook eggs’ as he took you down the hallway. Abby knew he would keep you distracted while she took care of business. She then visited the medbay to give Nora that note about ‘withdrawing’ the scumbag’s medical care. Which in reality, just meant that Nora guarded the door while Abby smothered the guy with a pillow, not to take any chances. 

Over the next few weeks, Abby made sure that you would be safe. She moved you into her and Manny’s apartment, ensuring you would be close by to start you on a road to better healing, and even though it was tough - things did go up from there. 

You found it easier to heal and get back to being your old self while being close by to your friends, and if you realized the feelings you’d had for Abby the whole time - that was just a bonus. 

It was something you reflected on one morning as you tossed a tennis ball to one of the dogs. You weren’t expecting Abby to come by - you didn’t think she would be collecting a dog, you didn’t think she had a patrol that day. 

“Are you checking someone out?” You asked, reaching down again to grab the tennis ball from Bear’s mouth when he brought it back to you. You took a moment to pet him, scrubbing behind his ears as he gratefully leaned into the touch. 

“It’s my day off.” She reminded you. “I just wanted to come check up on you.” 

You gave a grin at this. Even if you hated what that man had done to you, done your mind and your life - you did like how it was bringing you and Abby closer together again. 

“This is the easy part of my day.” You told her, looking down at Bear with fondness. “If you treat them right, they never bite you back.” 

Abby’s expression faltered from lightness, just for a moment. She knew it had a double meaning. You still believed that the whole thing had somehow been your fault. 

She gently reached out and took the tennis ball from your hand, tossing it far to the other end of the fenced in yard, causing Bear to run after it. It was a temporary distraction away from the dog so that you would have to face her. 

Abby knelt down beside you, where you had been crouching at Bear’s level, and cupped your face very timidly in her hand. You leaned into the touch, now locked in her precious gaze as she gathered the right words for you. 

“You are a good person, Y/N.” Abby told you firmly. “You deserve nothing but goodness in return. And anybody who treats you with anything less than kindness is someone who has evil in their heart. And they deserve to suffer because of it.” 

Tears clouded your eyes at the pure sincerity of her words. 

“Abby-” You croaked. 

Before you could get caught up in possibly arguing with her, Bear came barreling back, and dropping the ball in your lap once again. He then licked a large stripe up the side of your face, and you dissolved into laughter because of it. 

Abby wanted to get used to hearing that sound.

...

Final note: yes, I used to be @/pinkchubbiebunnie. Yes, this a post from my old blog (slightly cleaned up and edited). Please do not accusing me of plagiarising fics if you see this, because this is my own fic. This is my new blog. Feel free to follow me if you're interested in my fanfiction and thoughtful discussions of the media that I enjoy.

[love-byers]

debunking some anti byler arguments i've heard recently

"mike wasn't old enough to know how to navigate the fact that he was in love with el, so he just hid his feelings"

so mike is old enough to 1. fall in love at first sight and 2. KNOW that he's in love, but just not old enough to know how to navigate it? what age would you say a child gains the ability to know how to navigate love? also, what from mikes behavior supports that? there is no answer because he does nothing to lead the audience to think that. you're basing all of that off of what he says in s4. if you think mike is telling the truth in the monologue, you have to make massive assumptions that are hard to believe given his canon behavior for it to make sense. if you think mike is lying, you don't have to assume anything, because him lying would perfectly match his canon s1 behavior.

"he didn't recognize what he was feeling in the moment"

if you think that then you're admitting he lied in the monologue lol

"I knew right then and there in that moment that I loved you."

he knew. right then and there. in that moment.

unless...he didn't 💀

"he was downplaying his feelings for el so lucas and dustin wouldn't make fun of him"

downplaying your love for someone in order to not be made fun of = forming a plan to send the person you love away FOREVER so you can keep searching for your missing best friend so you won't have to face your love for them

yeah totally that makes perfect sense

"mike kept el at his house because he was afraid she'd be killed, it didn't have anything to do with will"

literally a flat out lie

this conversation was not even an hour after he supposedly realized he loves el:

he was only concerned with getting her out in a way that wouldn't get him in trouble so he could go out and look for will again. that was his priority an hour after he realized he was in love with el? for real? and then the next morning he hadn't changed his mind at all and was still going to execute the plan.

then after he found out people were after her, yes he kept her, but that doesn't mean romance. that's kindness. he is very kind to el. he is a kind character who cares about people a great amount.

then later on when el points to will's picture:

and when dustin and lucas arrive:

he found out about the bad people first, but brought up will first. he wasn't freaking out demanding that she stay because he was scared for her life, he was convinced she was the key to finding will. IN. CANON.

then later in the season when lucas and mike are arguing over keeping el around:

i'm not saying mike didn't care about el's safety, but his main reason for keeping her around is because he thinks she's the key to finding will. that's just canon. and if you think mike and wills relationship is solely platonic on mikes side, this shouldn't threaten you. if mike doesn't have feelings for will, then why can't he care for both of them at the same time? why must you *prove* that mike didn't care about will as much as we say?

it's because even you guys can see that writing mike that way AND writing will to be in love him only points to one ending, isn't it....