#he just thinks im up here because im having a depression spike or something | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vnikat · 1 year ago

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Yay! I’m back! Honestly I thought that after valkyrie event I will be creating new acc but here I am! I saw how you and yachafe send me good luck, and it’s so cute!!! Thank you!!! QvQ

Anyway. When I was recovering from intense farming I was searching for more songs that I can connect to S-Class Perks and…

Mortal With You - Mili “You locked me in to the dark. I’m you preserved flower. The world is too slow to understand…spikes may be sharp. They want to see just the beautiful parts.” - as Strict Order made Terry infinite regressor but in 100th he said screw you, I’m rebelling! “I’m counting the hours. Hours that stood between us like a river. Once I crawled through the water. All I ever knew become distant past.” - Idk, but I think thousands years are kinda distant (/j). Terry also lost his memory… “The tears spill onto your arms” - Im reminded about scene when he cried when he woke up q-q “You never fail to find me where I was hidden” - AAAAAAAH it hits even more after last published chapters in novel. But anyway. You know that Ai will find Terry anytime. Not just because she has map, but because he is her priority too!

Zamuza - Teniwoha (I personally like x6 vocaloid cover). “I daringly wield that kitsch rubi on my own worn-out name. I could deafest nobility as I have become so terrifying down to my core” - in analysis about Mafuyu (this is commissioned song for Project Sekai) it talks about how Mafuyu use her “good girl” persona while she is rotting and dying inside. It reminds me how Terry is more Netral Good than Lawful Good, and it even suprised Ai once. BUUUT now that’s translated and I can talk! Yay! Its 117 Terry wearing dead 17’s body. “If it all works out, everybody wins. Neither sweet words nor a smile will work; if I start to run, I’ve become a beast” - screw Strict Order Church. “Someday it’ll become a lovely song” - It will, Terry q-q “Hey, fly away on the count of three. Kick away every last single thing. If you run away at this point, these days truly won’t be mentioned in the postscript.” - Reed go brrrr. Tho ironic that his rebellion was mentioned in the book, but not his entire punishment. “Even if I’m poisoned by fringed iris” - that’s poisonous flower and for Mafuyu it means her helicopter mom’s love that hurts Mafuyu. Terry is receiving Strict Order’s sadistic love, so fits. “So don’t say that you’ve given up on reality! Okay?” - Don’t give up on this timeline, you stupid potato! q-q

Kanade tomosu Sora - Sasanomaly feat 25ji “There’s no place I can take refuge in,” - Terry is mentally homeless. I can’t write a lot on this songs cuz it’s already obviously painful. It’s about having depressing past thats so terrible you are distancing yourself from the world…but then find something that gives you a will to continue living, cherish your wish. That song reminds me so much of one particular scene, thats not even translated, argh! But I think you can understand how it fits even know. And middle parts remind me of sea, so I think of this song as the that scene’s bgm. And to add. If “Terry and Ai”’s appearances are like winter and spring, than “Reed and Ai”’s are like night and dawn (thanks to korean reader for pointing this out!). (Its as if Ai brings warmth to Terry in anyway qvq) The eng translation of the song is Music Illuminating the Sky, so Im reminded of this comparison uwu

Bug - Kaikiri Bear (I like Mafuyu cover, cuz she sounds so fed up) Wasnt sure if to include this but lets try. “Paranoia” - Terry expects only the worst from the world. “I raise my drowned-out voice and go round and round. Well! It’s a despirate situation, I’m doomed to fall no matter what I do!” - regressions and pessimism. “Going madder, madder. … Endless pain” and etc. Oh. And I think “Advocate of Confidentiality” will like the name of the song.

“Nightcore at 25” song fit so nicely… Well, they are group of depressed kids and one of them have helicopter parent…another one have saviour complex…ehh…

In Hell We Live, Lament - Mili feat KIHOW I thought I will write down this song with Non breath oblige, but you beat me to it! Poor pure Terry living in hypocritical world.

Vicious Heroism -Traitor Version- Kobayo It has no lyrics lol. But it is so edgy and the first half and then is somehow relaxing(???) and beautiful. Im reminded that Reed is such a potato. Oh and the name of the song.

Victim - Mili Not much to say. And I’m not sure it fits. Just Reed vibes. Especially failed 100 world destruction attempt.

I wanted to find some Ai songs, not only Terry. So here is my attempt

88☆彡 - kemu feat Wonderlands x Showtime i feel I will be roasted for this “it has nothing to do with Ai”… But its goving me Ai’s vibes!!! So upbeat, cheerful and going forward!!!

Journey - Deco*27 Terry is too far from asking for help… but now there is Ai to help him nonetheless! So I think it fits. And “It’s of if you’re not sure, it’s ok even to stop and pause. We can still keep walking forward from here.” - if you tell me that it isnt something that Ai can tell Terry, you are LYING

Gone Angels - Mili “One by one the pages remind me you’ll alway be a villain. For you, angels have fallen” “Brewing all this hatred so I have a reason, reason to see you dead” - Just like how after Reed’s massacres Ai counts down how many people he killed. And its easy to know why she do so. Because without this she can’t justify that she has to kill Final Boss q-q “Stop now! One by one your desires convince me you’ve always been a human” - BUT HE IS STILL TERRY ARGH “Forever gone from the hell that served as my one and only home” - this world is hard and so terrible to Terry, but… Hu… This song can be used as bgm too.

World’s end, Girl’s rondo - Kanon Wakeshima (there are cool Asterisk remix!) At first I wasnt sure if it’s Ai, [spoiler] or Reed’s POV. But I think its Ai’s no matter how confusing “My wish is that you end this world” can be confusing. Ai really cherish Terry.

And lastly…

L.L.L. - Myth & ROID WAHAHA. Well… I think you can’t understand how this can fit Terry, since its so passionate. But… maybe at 331+ chapters you will understand. 👀 Edit: oh wait, Reed is right here already, I forgor

ok guys i'm trying to put the playlist songs in order, here's the tentative order + reasons, lmk what you think!!

(major major spoilers for webtoon readers about the rounds that Tesilid went through before reuniting with Ailette)

The concept I'm taking w this playlist is for it to mostly follow Tesilid's chronological POV, not Ailette/the reader's.

(playlist link)

1. It's You: Pre-regression Tesilid, about Ailette. (tbh i think it also works near the end once the '17th' loop starts, but it lowkey feels a little too cheerful for Tesilid's POV at that point in time?)

I also kind of feel like there needs to be at least one song before It's You, for Tesilid before he first meets Ailette. But it needs to have super specific vibes??? Like, less depressing compared to the later ones, and more petulant and complain-y. The "why am I the only one with these duties..." and being too shy to accept food kind of vibes, the Tesilid doesn't have depression yet kind of vibes. but idk rn I can only think of angsty songs bc [spoiler] grabbed my whole brain.

2. Tell Me: idk i'm putting this song here just according to the vibes. It doesn't feel depressing enough to be late-regression Tesilid.

3. Theatre: Round 85-99 Tesilid (when he manages to save the world) or maybe even slightly before. He wishes he can just be himself and pleads with god, he just wants to stop acting his role. But he hasn't completely given up hope. He is still waiting for 'that someone out there' to hear his voice. The song feels like a cry of help and an expression of what he desperately wants, rather than a requiem or mourning of his old self and dreams. (tbh this can also work for current timeline Tesilid? for when he starts to see hope or a path forward again. This song is a little Too Tesilid it feels like it can fit most points of his very long life)

4. Show Me What I'm Looking For: Round 99 Tesilid, when he visits the Bible of Truth. "Ailette, I'm here... but where are you?" "Show me what i'm looking for" and he gets the truth of the world and. hahaha. he acts accordingly.

5. I am the Strongest: Reed. I used the instrumental instead of the lyric cover in the playlist bc i... don't really like the vocals and i can't find a cover of that cover... sorry. the lyrics really slap and fit perfectly though, 100% recommend going through it too.

Songs 3-5 (Theatre - I am the strongest) need to go in this specific order for maximum impact. It's the expression of what he actually wants > please just throw me a rope, i'll pay any cost, save me from being confused; show me a path and i'll follow it > ok i was shown one (1) path, time to destroy the world so i can no longer be hurt

6. Lower One's Eyes: i'm trusting vnikat on this being reed x Ailette for reasons that are spoilers to me as well. Chronogically it goes here because Ailette exists.

7. Flos: Current timeline Tesilid. Melancholic and tired and defeated and reminiscing about his old hopes and dreams and wondering if he can still have them. (I considered putting it at the front, pre-Theatre, but idk i feel like that pre-85 Tesilid wouldn't be this downtrodden and defeated because he was still diligently working towards what he thought was salvation)

8. 1/6 -out of gravity-: Ailette re-entering the scene and being super ready to do everything she can to relieve Tesilid's pain and burden by even just a little. I think this song really matches the tone of the first 2 seasons of the webtoon.

9. Endless Struggle: Tesilid feeling like he's sinned and that he doesn't deserve kindness, but he's doing his best to repent and become stronger

I think 1/6 out of gravity and Endless Struggle need to go as a pair. It's the juxtaposition of cute anime girl trying to cheer you up followed immediately by the emotional fallout of [spoiler]. I think the tonal change really replicates what we readers feel hahahahaha 🤗🥲

The rest of the songs are, i think, mostly just wishful thinking about what we hope/think the rest of the series might have. The tonal shifts here are more abrupt because they're kind of disjointed guesses.

11. Jiwa yang bersedih: Us coping and hoping that Tesilid will get to hear these words and internalise them lol. Putting this after I want to become your god, because I think even if Ailette can't completely undo all the pain that Tesilid has gone through, she can still soothe his pain in a way that few others can give him. and also eventually solve the whole godless world problem.

10. I want to become your god: Not too sure about its inclusion. Saviour complex things. But the lyrics sound a little too hopeless & powerless to fit either Ailette or Tesilid's vibes at the current point of the webnovel translation. Ailette is powerful enough that she has a reasonable chance of saving the world and Tesilid. On the other hand, Tesilid kind of doesn't really care about saving anyone at this point, and I feel like even back when he did, it wasn't really out of a desperate need for self-validation like in this song. But I think this song definitely goes after 1/6 -> Endless Struggle! For maximum devastation.

If life was like when we first met: just listen to the devastation. Put after I wanted to become your god to smooth out the tranaition to Jiwa yang bersedih.

12. To Be Me: I'm just coping with the inclusion of this song. I just hope that Tesilid reaches a point where he starts to forgive himself and starts to live because even if it hurts, he genuinely believes that there's light at the end of the tunnel and that he can finally breathe and live as himself and discover himself so long as he keeps actively choosing to live. Anyway the lyrics for this song are beautiful and I think you guys should also listen to it even as a not-Tesilid song. Lines like "going forward, going forward, going forward but going back again" read completely different and hit really hard when it's about someone with a normal mortal lifespan and not a regressor doing introspection lol.

tldr; Feels like there's a missing song for pre-regression Tesilid's frustrations

i'll probably create another post for the final order to be put on my pinned post, and which is spoiler free so that any webtoon reader that comes across my blog or playlist can read it too

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jugemusequencer · 2 years ago

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give me your gold and glitchy red hcs NNNEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWWWW

yall r particularly queer tonight huh . okay . here goes :

gold is constantly freezing. like he constantly feels hypothermic to the touch and gold himself is just always cold and complains about it . HOWEVER . boyfriends jacket .

^^^^ red will often wake up with his Iconic Jacket missing because gold finds it warmer than his usual hoodie . like not only is it big on him , but the fabric is insulated and Thick . red has gotten another jacket so he does not have to disturb his icecube of a partner

OH . red is also a gigantic heater . walking furnace . gold will literally cling to him at night just because his average body temperature is high . like yk how lizards sleep on warm rocks thatve been in the sun ??? red is the warm rock and gold is the lizard

just a general hc but both of them have autism which is why red is incredibly nonexpressive and why gold tends to carry stuff with his mouth instead of with his Brand New Prosthetics (being unable to feel whatever he's holding is just a general sensory issue) (he also doesnt like the feeling of the metal grinding on itself/feeling of the arms when they do move because they sort of vibrate)

gold repeats things that people say around him as a stim . red will do it back and they get into a loop of the same sentence for up to 6 or 7 minutes straight

gold generally likes darker themed music while red just does not care for whatever plays

reds hair is not naturally spiked up . he does that himself and when its down gold just braids it or chews on it (which red will smack him on the forehead for)

golds big on physical affection while red does it sparingly

^^^^ gold still gets many kisses constantly all the time though but it doesnt count.

bpd/pstd/general anxiety/psychotic depression gold . listen to me or die immediately

also ftm gold

actually both of them are ftm. t4t rosegold cope or die

anyways

gold gets super cuddly when he's tired so as soon as gold randomly gets clingy while they're at a party or something, red knows its time to go home

gold can still tear his head off from his neck but only for sparing moments at a time and it takes a bit to reheal . cool party trick though !

neither of them really talk but usually when they do its longer drawn out conversations and usually at some point gold will start using unowns because his voice goes out pretty quickly

gold cannot eat more than a few bites of food at a time as a repercussion of kind of being like . yk . dead and shit

its okay it just means red stocks up on his fav food and doesnt make much at a time so that gold doesnt feel like hes wasting anything

okay i think im done im super tired and the more i write the more i want to write abt them being gay and cuddling and kissing and shit.

i dont know if you inherently meant it to be shipping or not but thats what you got so youre just going to have to cope with it bc im tired and like my boys

#glitchy red #lost silver #glitchy red x lost silver #pokepasta #creepypasta #lost silver creepypasta #glitchy red creepypasta #hypnos lullaby #hypnos lullaby v2

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crow-drawing-their-cards · 4 years ago

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Headcannons for the main 4(5?)

Mario, Luigi, Peach and Bowser + Jr/ Koopaling's as well. these are my personal headcannons and this is just for fun. what are your headcannons?

WARNING/TW/CW for: swearing, implied/bullying, scares, self-h*rm/depression

Mario (cis, He/Him, Straight)

- the reason his moustache is so different compared to Luigi's is because due to all the fights he gets in he doesn't brush it or his hair that often leaving it to get knotty

- his hair use to be curly but due to immense brushing and many fights over the years it turned straight

- social butterfly since he was born

- he loves adventure

- has many scars all over his body but he see's them as trophies/achievements then a bad thing

- he's not the best cook in the world but he can still make a few good things when he can (he has a MASSIVE sweet tooth and mainly makes deserts or sweeter things)

- he talks mainly English now but, due to Luigi speaking Italian at home, he does speak Italian at home but he's not limited to it

- he does welding! he can make beautiful sculptures and Peach has many in her royal gardens

Luigi (trans, He/Him/They, Gay)

- His hair is soft and fluffy with soft curls due to him not going on adventures much and he takes a lot of time for caring for himself

- he use to be a social butterfly but that got him the wrong attention and now has a pretty low self-esteem

- doesn't have the best way of coping with things and takes things to heart a lot (he has self-h*arm scares)

- he doesn't mind adventure its just that it drains him so much

- he and E.gadd stay in touch throughout the year for updates on King Boo and if there's anything that needs to be sorted (he goes to E.gadd if Polterpup is having issues)

- he loves to bake/cook! and he's really good at it. he cooks many types of meal but he likes to try and stay traditional

- he also does gardening and loves to talk about flower language

- he speaks only Italian unless there are guest/people he needs to talk to

- he also isn't the best when it comes to English and has some difficulty in writing and reading as well as some words he cant pronounce properly

- in fact he and bowser write letters to each other and he gets better over time (and flustered with how sweet Bowser is to him)

- loves dresses and will wear them when he can

Peach (cis, She/Her/They, Pan)

- although she normally has her hair out she loves to do many hair styles! space buns, braids and so many more!

- she's very open towards people but sometimes she just cant and has to take a break

- sick of Bowser's shit

- can speak English and Japanese and is now onto learning Italian (may or may not be to impress Mario ;)

- she's really good at baking. she and Luigi share recipes to try out

- she donates a lot of money to people in need (one of the main reasons most people like her, she's just really nice!)

- does rock climbing in her spar time (do NOT challenge her)

Bowser (cis, He/Him, Bi)

- #1 Dad

- his hair is a mess let me tell you

- brushing it out can take hours since he complains about it a lot

- may act tough but he's a softy

- when every he needs to take most of the kids somewhere he lets them climb on his back

- doesn't know how to cook anything more then a basic meal

- He's really good at English and is perfect at it. just don't let him write anything when he's tired it gets really weird (poor Luigi had to read some cryptic things)

- Kamek is his Dad and Kamek is also sick of his shit

- the spikes on his jewellery (?) are actually made of foam as to not hurt his kids when they go up to hug him

Jr (cis, He/Him, I don't think he knows his yet)

- C H A O S

- has too much energy and most people have trouble getting him to bed, takes about an hour or two

- Luigi can get him to sleep in about 20 minutes due to him swaying gently and humming

- he's really good at art! almost every form he can master

- he doesn't like most school subjects but he does like science, art and a surprise to most, maths!

- he and the koopaling's play pranks on anyone they can

- the koopalings are his siblings and their favourite song is 'Kidnap the Sandy Claws' from the Nightmare Before Christmas

And that's all for now! I hope you didn't mind the long post and how different it is compared to what I normally do here. if you have any questions or things you would like to add on please do so! (im really lonely please just say something)

#bowser #bowser jr #mario headcanons #luigi nintendo #luigi #mario nintendo #mario #peach toadstool #peach #koopalings #implied bowuigi #bowuigi #kamek #this was fun #please say hi

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takenbyheartstrings · 4 years ago

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Yes, I’m Changing | Corpse x reader

pairing: Corpse x fem!reader

summary: as y/n infiltrates Corpse’s life and his life, he seems to be happier and more alive.

warnings: mentions of anxiety and depression, crying, fluff, angst and more fluff.

request: hello can i please request a corpse x reader where the reader and corpse meet and instantly become best friends and he starts to get happier around her and get a little less anxious - maybe like she’s his saviour? idk, also could you please make her voice the complete opposite of corpse himself? tysm 🤍🤍

a/n: tysm for requesting! i hope this lives upto your expectations ^-^ OBVIOUSLY most of this is made up - and i’m talking about the Leslie and Corpse storyline - so please don’t come @ me S,JDFNKJSDNF

alSO KINDA SHORT IM SORRY

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You sighed as you logged onto discord ready for your stream, your setup was your favourite colour, so you clicked on your webcam with a smile and clicked to start the stream. People soon started to flood in.

“Hey guys!” You smiled taking a drink of water, “Welcome to the stream, we’re playing Among Us today with Rae and Sykkuno and a few more new friends! I think Corpse is coming to play with us, I’m excited to meet him!”

You quickly joined the discord call, Ludwig, Rae, Sykunno, Toast, Leslie, Poki, Felix and Sean had already joined, so as soon as I joined that was 9/10 of the lobby.

“Hey guys!” You giggled happily.

“Hey Y/n!” They all greet you happily, as you adjust your headphones on your head, pulling your mic a tad bit closer.

Soon one more person joined the discord call, “Hey,” a deep yet soothing voice speaks up.

“Woah.” You mutter quickly realising your mic discord isn’t muted.

Corpse laughs, you two were the only one’s in the lobby who didn’t know each other, “I’m Corpse, and you must be y/n.” You can hear his smile through the screen, “Big fan.”

Your face flushes red and chat takes notice, “Yes, that is me, I am y/n, and I, personally am very excited to meet you!” You cheer, trying to keep your cool.

“Holy shit guys.” Rae chuckles, “Their voices are complete opposite - it’s like the angel and the devil.”

“Hmmm maybe,” You perk up, “I guess I’d be the devil then.”

Corpse chuckles at your comment as the round starts as you smile because of his laugh, proud of yourself that you made the man, the myth, the legend, Corpse Husband laugh.

That was a year and a half ago.

You knocked on the door tugging on your grey sweater as he opened the door quickly, letting you in, before pulling off his mask as soon as the door had closed behind you. Corpse smiled at you as you hurried inside placing Grocery bags on the kitchen counter.

The two of you decided to rent a place together in LA to be closer to your friends and open up a new line of opportunities. Well, that’s how you pitched it to your best friend.

Anyway, it was game night at the Corpse x Y/n residence, last week was at Sykkuno’s house where you all played What Do You Meme, now it was yours and Corpse’s turn. Playing Cards Against Humanity because they all knew you guys had the largest collection of cards. You quickly set out everything on the table as Corpse just admired you from the couch.

“You could help, y’know.” You glared at him as he sat there watching you.

Corpse pretended to think about it, “Well, if I try to help you’re just gonna push me away and do everything yourself anyway.” He smirks - he’s right. You know he is. He knows he is. Everyone know’s he is. You’re a control freak.

You huff, “So what?”

“So what?” Corpse lets out the loudest laugh he can, “Last time you almost broke my finger!!”

You pause, before leaving it at that, Corpse just chuckles as he sits there, you finish in no less than ten minutes, “It’s gonna be fine.”

“Never said I wasn’t.” You retort.

Corpse looks at you, “I know you better than anyone, y/n.” It’s gonna be okay.

And he was right, the night went great. Everyone was smiling and laughing and having fun. It was a night to remember, mostly because Rae almost got blackout drunk and Toast and Sykkuno had to take her home early. But she’d just laugh it off in the morning after you call her and make sure she’s okay.

Corpse stands up, “Anyone need a drink?” He questions, as everyone shake’s their heads. Leslie actually changes her mind and follows him around the corner to a small kitchen.

A lot of people wouldn’t have known this, but Lesilie and Corpse met way before he met Felix or anyone current. She looks at him with a soft smile as she watches him get her a drink from the fancy fridge they have in their house.

“What?” Corpse questions noticing Leslie’s look.

Leslie chuckles, “You love her, dude,” She sighs before he can protest it, “Don’t try to say that I’m wrong either. She’s changed you, you’re slightly happier now, you’re making your way up there, she lifts your spirits every single day and you should see the way you fucking look at her, because I know you don’t know. You love her dude and she loves you too, think about it.”

Leslie leaves the kitchen as her and Edison are the only ones left in the house, it was kinda sad to see it without people in it but you smiled regardless. “That was really fun tonight, thanks Corpse!”

Corpse smiles as you do, “Always. But I’m super beat, gonna try and get some sleep.” In reality, he wasn’t. He was just gonna think about what Leslie said all night.

She was right. You loved him. But you couldn’t tell him that because 99.9% of the time they didn’t reciprocate those feelings back. She had learned not to try with love anymore. So you were sitting in bed that night thinking about a life where you had something good. You had love and comfort. Though you felt it was never going to happen.

Corpse was doing the same - he didn’t take the shots because he was scared. He thinks about her. All the fuckin’ time. How he’s so glad she joined that lobby. Leslie was right she made him happier. She made his life better. Way fucking better. He thought about a life with her, that it would be so good to call her his girlfriend. Never have to see her with another guy again - because yes. He was jealous of all the one’s she’d bring home after a night out with her friends. But she didn’t know they would come out and he’d scare them off.

He didn’t know he was doing that - not intentionally.

Your music fades out of your head as you try to fall asleep to it, but it fails coming back into earshot. You turn to the opposite side of the music. You tossed and turned before standing up out of bed. You had to do it. You had to tell him how you feel and you had to do it now. Something made you compelled to do it. Something made you need to do it.

You opened your bedroom door stepping out of it quickly walking down the hall over to Corpse’s room.

Your anxiety started to spike, you could feel tears on the brims of your eyes - you were starting to overthink.

“What if he doesn’t love me back”

“What if he’s in love with someone else”

Corpse was having the same spike of anxiety, as he started to overthink feeling his stomach - his gut churn. He knew he had to tell you. No matter how anxious he was, he was willing to take that 50/50 chance. You were practically speed walking, and so was he. The two of you ran into each other, falling onto the floor opposite of each other, your hands catching you, breaking your fall. You yelped before you both chuckled and Corpse helped you up. The two of you hadn’t realise how close you were until Corpse spoke and you could feel the warmth of his breath and minty toothpaste on your face.

“Corpse I- I need to tell you something.” He stopped you.

“No- I do.”

“Corpse I have to tell you!”

“Y/N I LOVE YOU!” Corpse yells pulling away from you as he starts to pace, “I can’t go a day without missing you - I can’t go a day without you here. I crumble, I fall apart. You make me happier, nobody’s done that before. You are a light to my life, you are my sun, you are everything to me and I don’t know how to live without you - how to function. You went to VidCon for three days and I fell apart completely. I. Love. You.”

At this point Corpse didn’t know what he was saying. He was just going with his gut. You sat there shocked. You just smiled at him after a while. You ran towards him and jumped into his arms pressing a kiss to his lips and then pressing them all over the rest of his face.

He was relieved to say the least - probably guessing this is what you were going to tell him and he loved that - he could finally love you.

He carried you to his bedroom, which would soon be the two of yours as it was larger in size and fell asleep comfortably in each others arms as the warmth of Corpse’s body radiated onto yours. His arms around you, holding you to never let you go. To never get hurt. To protect you from all the bad in the world.

The two of your feelings were finally at peace. It was a beautiful masterpiece called love. You changed Corpse for the better and he changed you for it too. You both lived in perfect harmony with each other. It was a comfort you had never truely felt before - same to him. Something that the both of you never wanted to let go of. Let alone each other.

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x reader angst #corpse husband x reader fluff #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband fluff

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capaimagines · 4 years ago

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im changkyun - i’ll always be there

Pairing: Im Changkyun x Reader | Genre: angst & fluff | Warnings: anxiety/panic attack, mentions of depression, self-depreciating thoughts, mild self-harm (unintentional) | WC: 2.0k

Request: Hi loves! Can I please request a changkyun fic where the reader suffers from serious anxiety and depression and she tries really hard for him to go out and she does but breaks down and has a panic attack and he doesn't know what to do because he is unaware of her condition

Changkyun knew that you were more of homebody. He’d known that since you were kids. The two of you had been friends since you were little. Your mom’s were best friends which meant most of his weekends were spent being dragged to yours to play while your mom’s chatted and did their thing.

Changkyun was always more adventurous than you, he enjoyed exploring and meeting new people. You could never understand how two people who were polar opposites could get along but it worked for you two. However, Changkyun wasn’t aware of just how bad your anxiety about going out was, or more importantly, how low you have been feeling recently.

He knew you really struggled with your emotions and he always did his best to pick you up and be there for you. When you had been offered the perfect job; working from home and only having to go into the office for large meetings every so often, you were ecstatic. Though that meant you had to move to the city. You were ready to turn the opportunity down until Changkyun, like he always did, came to be your knight in shining armor.

So the two of you moved out and lived together. You felt guilty for taking him away from all his friends and family, but he always assured you over and over again that he was fine and this was a new adventure for him also. He did well living in the city, he was able to land a job as producer for a large company and while there were nights where he didn’t come home, he truly seemed to be enjoying himself.

However, you were struggling. A terrible downside of being too nervous to leave the comfort of your apartment always led to your depression coming back. You would manage small walks here and there to try and get out and soak in the sun, but you would quickly return home mid panic attack.

Changkyun wasn’t too aware of all this. He had been working later and later recently and he had barely been home all week. You were spiraling into the black abyss and you couldn’t pull yourself out. You could at least manage to shower and seem normal when Changkyun was home, but the moment he left, you were stuck alone with your thoughts.

Your head was constantly telling you that no one would want you as a friend. That Changkyun was just taking pity on you, he was tired of you or you were too plain, too boring. You deserved to be alone and you were starting to believe that was your destiny. To be alone with no one around. To live in the dark hole for the rest of your life.

You snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of your phone ringing. You couldn’t even muster up the energy to smile at Changkyun’s name.

“Y/N?” You hadn’t even realized you picked it up.

“O-oh. Changkyun-ah,” If he noticed how tired you sounded he didn’t say anything.

“Hey, my friends would really like to meet you. We’re supposed to be getting dinner in a few hours and they asked me to invite you. Can you come? Please? It’d be nice to get you out of the apartment and I promise you it will be fun!” Inwardly you were already starting to panic. Saying no to Changkyun was something you always had trouble with.

“Okay,” You mustered out and Changkyun promised to pick you up in a few hours. You shakily stood on your legs and gave yourself a cold shower. You had hoped it would knock the anxiety bubbling up but it didn’t. You didn’t know how you were going to make it through a meal with strangers, but you didn’t want to embarrass Changkyun either.

You already embarrass him.

His friends are going to think you’re weird.

You don’t deserve a friend like Changkyun.

You sighed, shaking your head. You had to do this for him, he never asked you for much. This wasn’t anything big. He simply just wanted you to meet his friends. Two hours later you were sitting on the couch in the best clothes you owned, leg bouncing up at down. You were squeezing your hands together in hopes to quell the anxiety. Though It was no use.

The minute Changkyun walked in and called your name you felt your heart rate spike. You didn’t know if you could do this, but there your best friend stood, in his skinny jeans and t-shirt with a large smile on his face. You couldn’t let him down. You always let him down.

“You okay?” He questioned which you blinked at him and offered what you hoped was a happy smile and nodded slightly.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine. Let’s go!”

You hooked your arm in his and he smiled brightly down at you before leading you to the car. The whole way to the restaurant Changkyun was talking about something that you didn’t catch a word of. Your eyes were trained on the windshield, heart pounding in your chest. You felt warm, too warm. You felt lightheaded and like you couldn’t breathe.

“P-pull over,” You stuttered

“What?” Changkyun asked confusedly.

“Changkyun, please,” You pleaded, “ I-I need you to pull over.”

You felt like you were going to vomit. It felt all too small and crowded in the car. There wasn’t enough air. Changkyun pulled over, worried. Encasing his features as you stumbled out of the car as you leaned against the brick wall of whatever building was in front of you. Your breathing was erratic, the cold air was doing nothing to quell what felt like fire on your skin. You were dizzy, the world was spinning.

You slid down, placing your back against the cool bricks and trying to control your breathing, trying to feel anything but the pins and needles in your fingertips. Your legs felt numb. There were too many people walking around, too many people staring at you. You started gasping for air, fingernails digging into your forearm. You didn’t feel the sting when they broke the skin.

“Y/N! Hey! Y/N!” You knew that was Changkyun’s voice, but it sounded so panicked. He sounded scared, worried. You could feel a warmth grab your hands and you looked down trying to find the source. Changkyun was holding your hands in his, pulling them away from your arm. You noticed the little specks of blood on your forearm. When did that happen?

“Y/N!” Changkyun raised his voice slightly, “I need you to look at me!” You felt his calloused hands roughly grab at your chin and through your gazed look you could make out Changkyun’s worried orbs.

“C-Changkyun?” You stuttered weakly. It felt a little easier to breathe.

“It’s me honey. L-let’s get you home, okay? ”You somehow managed to nod and he pulled you up as you leaned all your weight against him. You were mentally and physically drained.

He sat you in the car and ran around, turning back towards your home. He didn’t say anything, but you could hear how his fingers were drumming on the steering wheel. You felt guilty. Extremely guilty. All he wanted from you was to have one meal with his friends and you couldn’t even make it there. You don’t deserve him. You hold him back from so much. He left everything for you and you can’t even go out for a meal with him.

You let your thoughts take over, falling deeper and deeper into the darkness clouding you. You hadn’t even noticed you were back at your apartment building until Changkyun lightly grabbed your arm. His eyes scanned yours for what felt like hours but was only a few seconds. He was trying to find answers, trying to understand what had just happened.

You shakily followed him back into your apartment and went straight to your room. You collapsed on your bed, curling into the fetal position with a plushy he had won you at some stupid carnival when you were teenagers in between you. You let the tears fall, hating yourself for how pathetic you had become. Your thoughts were right. Changkyun would be much better off without you.

You hadn’t heard him walk in or feel him sit down on the bed next to your feet. He was watching you, observing you. When had the circles under your eyes become so big and dark? Why did it look like you had lost more weight? Had he been so busy he didn’t even notice how bad his best friend was hurting? How much you needed him?

“Y/N,” He murmured and your breath hitched. You sat up, throwing your arms around his neck and sobbing into his shoulder.

“I’m so s-s-sorry, Kyun. I’m so s-sorry! I-I can’t do anything! I can’t e-even go out f-f-for a proper meal w-with you! I’m such a waste of a human!” His eyes were wide as you blabbered on about how you were a terrible person and friend.

How you sobbed about how sorry you were for holding him back, for making him feel like he needs to stay here with you. He pulled you away from his shoulder, tears and snot running down your face as he just stared at you. You continued to sob and he gently started wiping tears away and cleaning your nose with the tissues by your bed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was low and you were surprised you heard it over your cries.

“There was nothing to tell. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. You should go meet your friends,” Whatever emotions that had just exploded out of you were now gone. Now you just sounded empty, felt empty. You were tired and you just wanted to sleep. You pulled away from his grasp and laid down, staring at the wall in front of you.

“Are you fucking joking me?” He replied back harshly.

You winced a little at his harsh tone. You’d only seen him angry a handful of times but it was never directed at you, “You think I’m just going to go see my friends when you’re feeling like this? Are you stupid?” He was kneeling in front of you now, in your line of vision. You couldn’t say anything. You were too tired now.

“You’re my best fucking friend, L/N Y/N. I am not leaving you. I’m here. I’m always here,” His voice was low again, but desperate. He needed you to know that he was there for you, always. That you are one of the most important people in his life, if not, the most important, “You do not hold me back. You aren’t a shitty friend.”

He made sure you were listening to him, hearing him.

“You’re one of the best people in my life. You always have been. You make me laugh. You always make sure there’s food waiting for me whether I come home or not. You do my laundry because you know that I’ll shrink it. You text me every day and scold me to eat and drink water. You have food delivered to my studio,” He continued to ramble.

You felt a new wave of tears sting your eyes, “You,” He grabbed your hand with one of his and squeezed it tight, “You are my person. My best friend. I am always here. When you’re sad, when you’re mad, when you feel nothing. I’m here. I’ll always be here Y/N,” You squeezed his hand back with as much strength as you could muster. He smiled. He knew you were too tired to speak but he knew you heard him.

“Now scooch over. We’re watching your favorite movie, I’ll order us some takeout and we’re going to cuddle until I see a genuine smile on your face, dammit,” You let out a small chuckle and moved over. He smiled weakly down at you before crawling next to you and pulling your head to his chest. This was your best friend. This was your person. You couldn’t let yourself doubt that, ever.

“I’ll always be there,” He murmured as you closed your eyes.

#monsta x #monsta x fluff #monsta x angst #monsta x imagines #monsta x x reader #monsta x im #IM #im changkyun #im changkyun angst #im changkyun fluff #monsta x changkyun #shownu #jooheon #hyungwon #kihyun #minhyuk

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nadisabug · 4 years ago

Text

Anything You Want

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x reader

Warnings: reader is kinda depressed, idk she convinces herself that no one (Kei) could like her, so warning for that, no spoilers though, ooc Tsukki, I am so sorry this was a one am fever dream im sor-

Summary: As old childhood friends of Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, it doesn’t make sense why Tsukishima and you fight so much.

A/N: Ahh I’m so sorry I woke up out of a cold sweat to write this whole thing in one sitting at one am im just 💛love💙 him!! Also!!! I hit 150 followers!! So excited!!! I love you all so much!! Thank you!!!!! (ps requests are open pls send some in)

Haikyuu!! Masterlist

"Kiss me Kei!"

"What? Tch, no that's gross."

"But I'm the mommy!"

"So?"

"You're the daddy! You gotta!"

"I don't even wanna play this dumb game."

"It's not dumb! Pleeaaasseee Kei-chan! For me?"

"Fine, come here."

The slap of the ball hitting the gym floor startled me out of my daydream. My eyes snapped up quickly to the game before me. Did we score? It took me a minute to even register what was going on and who I was looking at. I looked to the referee on his stepladder, waiting for him to call the point.

The whistle blew. He raised his arm. Boys in black and orange jerseys shouted. I clapped and cheered.

It all felt so robotic. But then I looked at him. Then the world shifted into slow motion and began to flow more naturally.

He raised his arm to wipe the sweat off of his brow, the movement mesmerizing. Even the jerk of his body when a teammate patted him on the back seemed graceful. Elegant. He pushed his glasses up a bit and glared at the offender. He turned to say-

"Y/n?" Once again I was startled from my thoughts. My head snapped to the right side where Yachi was standing next to me. She had a concerned look on her face. I swallowed, my dry mouth only producing a lump in my throat. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," I responded quickly and looked back to the game. "Just focusing is all." This time I fought not to look at the boy. I didn't want to look at him anyway. I didn't. I didn't.

Finding my eyes drifting back to him, I launched into conversation to pull my mind from him.

"How's the girls team going?"

I was on the girls volleyball team as a first year. I only made the team because I was the only libero and, being honest, I was the best at receiving. I was abnormally short, so I knew I couldn't pull off many other positions.

Well, maybe I could.

I watched as the short, orange haired boy flew across the court and landed an impossible to receive spike. I still wasn't used to that combo no matter how many games I watched. Then again, I only had reflexes, not the raw power that that boy had.

I sighed and tore my eyes from the game to look at Yachi. I slumped onto the railing a plopped my head in my hands. "We need more practice games, honestly. The way we're going we're not going to win our match."

"Don't say that Y/n!" Yachi cried.

I shrugged and looked back at the game. My eyes found blonde hair naturally. "Its true. The girls don't practice enough. I think getting our asses completely handed to us will turn the team around. I just feel bad for the third years who will suffer from it."

Yachi didn't have a response to that. She changed the subject quickly and we chatted until the game ended, the whole time I focused on the freakish number ten instead of the boy I knew deep down in my heart I really wanted to watch.

"Nice net drop, broccoli brain," I smirked and clapped my best friend on the shoulder.

His shoulders slumped and he sighed. "I didn't even mean to do it," he bereaved.

"Fucking who cares?" I snorted. "Got us a fat point and they never saw it coming. Just remember how it felt and do it again."

"Y/n," Yama whined and tried to shake me off.

"Y/n giving you crap again?" A rich voice came from behind me, sending shivers down my spine. "That's rich coming from Pipsqueak."

"Says Mr-cant-block-for-shit," I shot back, turning around so that I could stick my tongue out at him.

"I'd like to see you try to pick up a real serve, not that-"

"Hey, hey, cut it out!" Yama stepped in between us, putting a warning hand on us both. "We're all friends."

I glared at Tsukishima but backed down. I didn't want to upset Yamaguchi. I knew how much he hated it when we fought, seeing as it was his two best friends.

I had known Yama since elementary school, when I saved him from some bullies. One day when we were clearly out matched, Tsukishima saved us in his aloof, roundabout way. From then on we were inseparable.

That is until the second year of middle school when Tsukishima and I started fighting all the time. Despite that, we still hung out together. Who knows why he put up with my constant antagonism, but he always reciprocated and never complained.

We got on the bus soon after the game, headed to the school. I was on the girls bus, them on the boys. When we got back to the school we met up again.

When we came to the usual splitting point, Yama spoke up.

"So I'll walk Y/n home," Yama offered like always. I was about to accept when Tsukishima spoke up.

"Nah, I'll do it." Yama cocked an eyebrow. "It's out of your way, Yamaguchi. She lives closer to me."

We all knew this, but the point had never come up before.

"Okay," Yama said warily. "Are you sure you don't want me to come anyways?"

"Tch, we're fine, I don't need a babysitter." Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

"Okay," Yama shrugged. He took a few steps backwards before he said goodbye and started off in the opposite direction.

Tsukishima wordlessly took off in the direction of our houses, so I followed. I was wondering why he suddenly offered to walk me home, but he offered no clues as to why. He used to walk me home before we always fought, but after that he stopped. This was the first time he walked me home in years.

So we walked in complete silence.

When we reached my house, we stood there awkwardly for a moment, looking at it. I wasn't sure what to say, but before I could figure it out, he spoke.

"Why do you hate me?"

I was startled by both the question and the sudden shattering of silence. I turned to look at Tsukishima. He wasn't looking at me, just straight ahead. I tried to read his facial expression, but like always, it was stone cold.

"I don't?" I answered uneasily.

Tsukishima sighed. "Yes you do, you always act so pissy towards me. You even tense up when I'm near."

"I do not," I frowned. I tried to think if I have ever done anything like that, but I drew blank.

"Yes you do," Tsukishima sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. "We..." He paused. He brought he other hand up and rubbed his eyes, pressing his two fingers into his eye sockets. After a moment he threw his hand down, clearly having made up his mind, and turned to look at me. I felt hot under his intent gaze, his eyes searching mine for an answer I was afraid I didn't have. "We used to be close when we were little. What changed."

It wasn't a question. It was more of a statement. It was like he meant to say something different.

So I said it for him.

"We changed."

He scoffed, his face twisting into his signature cynical look. "Bullshit."

"No, that's the answer. Maybe you're not asking the right question," I shot back, confidence fueled by his venom.

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it soon after. His brows furrowed and his lips pressed together. It was more emotion than he was exhibiting earlier, and for some weird reason, it made something in me happy.

"Why are you so mad at me?" He finally asked, face relaxing a bit. He seemed genuinely curious as to the answer.

His sincerity almost made me explode with anger. How could he not know? He was the most insufferable person in the entire world, what wouldn't I be mad about.

But then again, that was wrong. He never mad me mad with his snide comments and dirty looks. It was all in play and it never really bothered me, ever since we were kids, and he knew that too. So I couldn't lie and say it was his personality because I loved his personality. It was something else. Something I was afraid of admitting.

I grit my teeth. What did it matter if I said it or not? It's not like he'd understand anyway.

Once I made up my mind I met his eyes.

"Because you will never give me what I want."

"And what is that?" His voice was soft, wispy, breathless. Afraid.

Your love.

I couldn't say it. Bile rose in my throat and tears prickled at my eyes. I opened my mouth but quickly shut it. I wouldn't say it. I was too afraid. My eyes fell to the ground, and with them, all my confidence.

All at once my mind began to barrage me. He will never love you, he could never love someone like you. He-

He laughed.

He fucking laughed.

My mind was thrown to a complete and total standstill by the absurdity of it. I looked back up at him with watery eyes in confusion.

"I thought you were smarter than that," he grinned, one corner of his mouth charmingly quirked upwards. "Than to decide what I think."

"What?" I mumbled nearly incoherently.

"We both know if you ask I'll do anything for you, so quit your crying, Pipsqueak."

I opened my mouth, completely surprised by his confession. He'd do anything for me? That couldn't be right...

But the more I thought about it the more I realized it was true. He had always done everything for me. Whenever I needed him he was there. It was me that started the fighting, all because I let my mind tell me that he could never love me, that he never would.

I met his eyes once again, this time brimming with happiness.

"Kiss me, Kei."

"Fine," he dramatically sighed, hiding a small grin. "Come here."

And he did.

Taglist:

Taglists are open! Shoot me an ask or a dm with what fandom you want to be tagged in and I’ll do it right away! :)

#sorry this is a crack fic #also this is my first haikyu fic pls be gentle #this is not really edited sorry #tsukkishima x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima imagine #haikyu x reader #haikyu!! x reader #tsukki fluff #tsukki x reader #haikyuu tsukki

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spikedru · 4 years ago

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Hi! So first off, your blog is incredible (probs the best buffy blog I have come across so far?) & second, I have gathered you are a spike fan, super curious to hear your thoughts on the terrible episode in season 6 (?) where he tries to r*pe buffy. I feel like everyone tends to ignore the weirdness of season 6 but I really want to explore other folks opinions on it

lmao thank u for enjoying my bullshit <3

it got kinda long so im putting my thoughts under a read more. tw for discussion of sexual assault

to be frank i dont think ive actually sat down and watched seeing red since the first time i watched the show back when i was like. 14. a lot of shit goes down in that ep that is not fun to watch, nor was it supposed to be. in my personal opinion, i dont like most of season 6. it starts out fine, bargaining and after life are interesting, engaging episodes. the seeds of everyones explosive interpersonal dramas are about to fully bloom, and theres a lot of narrative tension in that regard. but as the characters unhealthy coping mechanisms start to catch up with them and bad decisions after bad decisions are being made, i no longer enjoyed watching characters i love begin to succumb to their downward spirals. the push/pull of negative character development works for some people, but it just wasnt enjoyable to me. i started this blog in march right around the time i was doing my first s6 rewatch in years and i eventually gave up right before riley shows back up because it wasnt fun for me to watch anymore (also because i think as you were is a dumb episode lol) :/ lmao i guess as a depressed 20 something i dont want to also watch a bunch of depressed 20 somethings struggle with real world problems. im still debating whether to just go back and watch the dark willow eps, bc that was fun to see, but other than that ... :/

back to seeing red, while i hate that it lead to an attempted sexual assault, i can understand the narrative path that got them to that point. spike is absolutely in the wrong, he's the one that took it too far, but regardless, from a character perspective i can see how he got to the bathroom. the buffy/spike sexual relationship is absolutely toxic the moment it begins. its built on misunderstandings, buffy using spike without regard for his feelings not understanding that despite being soulless he is his own person with his own emotions, and spike not understanding why buffy is turning to him, that her own self loathing and depression is what is driving her to him as a means of escape, not truly because of a purer emotion like love which is what he wants. their whole tryst is a stew of muddled yes/no mixed signals. and after buffy decides to break it off with spike for good, as a way for herself to begin healing from her depression, it makes sense that he wouldnt fully believe her. she had been turning her back on him and then crawling back so often, why would this time be different? again with the misunderstandings of the relationship between the both of them. they had reached a standstill where neither party knows how the other is interpreting their actions. i like this excerpt from Critically Touched's review of Seeing Red, because i feel like he is able to explain how they got to that bathroom scene in a very succinct way

"Something had to happen with these two. Spike had to just leave the show, die, or do something so bad to Buffy that he'd need to get a soul to even attempt to make things right with her, despite the fact that having a soul makes him a new individual in the process. So, despite obviously not "enjoying" the scene, I did find it shocking and I did find it valuable from a character perspective. Due to their twisted sexual relationship this season, I'm not convinced anything else other than this would result in Spike fighting for his soul to be not just a better man... but to be a man (which is poetically said in "Beneath You" [7x02])."

here is the link to the rest of the review -> [link] which i feel like, as with his other buffy reviews, is able to objectively analyze the episode in a really interesting and in depth way, and also help contextualize the episode not just within the season but the rest of the show. i recommend looking through the rest of his reviews, its an interesting perspective from someone who clearly loves this show a lot and is willing to take the time to analyze both the narrative threads as well as the character development, giving every single character their dues in his analysis.

i genuinely love both buffy and spike a lot as characters. they are both incredibly engaging and interesting, in how they grow and change throughout the course of the show, as well as how they play off each other and what they bring out in each other. seeing red is a difficult episode for a lot of people, and for good reason. while their relationship was toxic for both parties it was absolutely spike that took it too far, his attempted sexual assault is inexcusable, and he pays dearly for his transgression. i dont know if i will sit down and watch seeing red ever lol, its definitely up there with the body for episodes that i refuse to rewatch often (though for entirely different reasons lol).

i hope i explained that adequately. its a sensitive subject and i kno a lot of people understandably dont like spike because of his actions in s6. he had straddled the line between good and bad for so long that he had to reach some kind of tipping point to either go fully good or fully bad, and if he died or left the show it would have felt that his character arc had been cut short or left unfinished somehow. its unfortunate and terrible that the tipping point had to come at the cost of assault towards buffy, but as Critically Touched said given that the nature of their relationship was roughly sexual and full of misunderstandings, i can see how it ended up in that bathroom.

also just as a quick aside the way the scene is shot does an excellent job of evoking this sense of dread and wrong. you can tell immediately something awful is going to happen and it makes my skin crawl

#asks #eachothersthroats

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gaylonelydyke · 4 years ago

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if it’s not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!

its never too late! thankyou for the ask 🥰 oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long 😅😅😅

spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!

12. Top 5 ships

5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?

4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!

3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd

2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that

1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 🥺 the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s

12. Top 5 episodes

this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go

5. 6x22 ‘grave’- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]

4. 3x12 ‘helpless’ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]

3. 4x22 ‘restless’ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones 😂😂 but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]

2. 1x12 ‘The Prophecy Girl’ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i bow to this episode

1. 2x17 ‘passion’ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just 😭😭😭 also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as “evil angel” and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain

sorry this is so long lmao, last question!

17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because we’re so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont

adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #why did i write a paragraph for everything im so sorry #i wish i knew how to add a read more link but i dont on mobile #my post #dawn fans please dont murder me #i dont hate her i just dont like her yanno #i am scared people are gonna hate me for not liking her but we all have our tastes

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transmogrified-in-the-void · 4 years ago

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look im depressed have this “thk and ghost land in bleach” crack fic ok

Urahara honestly didn’t even know when it happened. It definitely started out slow, with Ichigo Kurosaki coming over more and more frequently for training. Eventually his sisters (terrifying and sweet, how fun) started to appear with their older brother. Soon, the candy shop owner found himself with a store full of teenagers. With rooms. Who lived there. Urahara doesn’t even know where the rooms came from in the first place, although he suspects that Tessai had something to do with it. Regardless, they all fell into a pattern, and, while none of the spiritually aware children lived there per-say (Ishida remained adamant that he would not be living with shinigami), they were around often enough that they could be.

Then Aizen happened, and Ichigo lost his powers, part of his soul, and the first thing that happened was everyone came back to the shoten for him. Urahara thinks quiety, in the back of his head, that had this small family not been made. Had his innocent candy shop not become home to so many, Ichigo could have been alone for a long time.

He did make the sword to return that missing part of his soul, of course he would. Because, as much as he tries not to show it, he genuinely cares for the band of misfits now under his wing, and damn it all if he doesn’t try to fix the pain he caused.

And they fall back into their routine. There are some bumps, namely Urahara finding out how Isshin “trained” Ichigo and proceeding to make the shoten a permanent home for the Kurosaki children. Not that anyone was complaining, Tessai loves talking with Yuzu, and Karin and Jinta compete to see who gets more work done. Meaning less for him and that is wonderful.

So imagine his surprise when two writhing sources of reiatsu, or something similar, suddenly appear at his front door.

Urahara was in his lab when it happened, and he spent no time getting to the door. Sliding it open, he sees two creatures that look like they could be Hollows, but something’s wrong. Distinctly, profoundly, wrong.

The first thing is how human these creatures looked. One tall and thin, their black body writhing as they desperately claw at their face with one hand. A quick glance shows that their other arm is nothing but a stump. In front of the tall creature is a significantly smaller one who is trembling, but also trying to pry the tall one’s hand away.

The second thing is their masks. Where Hollow masks are made just to hide the face, these ones seem to be encasing the whole head.

The third is the amount of terror pouring out of the tall one. It’s near suffocating, and yet they don’t make a single sound. Not one.

Urahara sees the small one signing something, but he’s not in any angle to be able to see what they’re trying to say. The tall one does though, and seems to grow more agitated before tilting their head back and shrieking.

They start to claw at their chest (with no hole in it), then their face, then their stump, shrieking and definitely waking up at least Tessai and Ichigo, sensing them coming towards the source of the sound quickly.

The small one suddenly turns to Urahara, a sudden spike in their reiatsu appearing as a many-layered voice cries out inside his head.

Help them! Help Hollow! It begs. Sibling in pain! Help them!

Tessai is the first to arrive, pausing at the scene, partially out of the mass amount of reiatsu

“This little creature wants me to help their sibling.” Urahara says. “Although I’m unsure how.”

Tessai nods, looking the tall one up and down. Then Ichigo arrives, and the small creature’s reiatsu flares more, and everyone takes a few seconds to get used to the sheer amount

Higher one! Help them! Help them!

Ichigo flinches, and Urahara tucks away what the little creature said for later.

“Why can’t you help them?” He retorts. Of the three, Ichigo definitely was not the one to go to for healing.

The little one stills, like memories are coming back to them.

Unifying Void. Killing Infection. Saving sibling. Can’t Focus. Can’t use SOUL. Help them! Help them! Higher being! Help them!!

Tessai steps forwards, going near the still-writhing tall creature. The small one watches with a dead look, although it’s hard to get much out of a full-head mask.

Help Hollow? Shell-less Shaman helps Hollow? Ghost thanks! Help them!

Tessai starts to heal the stump, which had started bleeding blackness. The small one’s thoughts continue to be impressed upon the trio, although Urahara’s almost positive they don’t know they’re doing it. Especially with how dark they start to get.

Green SOUL? Wandering Shaman? Higher being? Three higher beings. Danger to sibling? Kill them if danger. No Infection. Radiance dead. Squished. Hollow okay? Hornet okay? Lost sibling okay? King is dead. Kill mother. Shaman heal Infection? Where Shaman go?

More questions than answers, but the thoughts and immense amount reiatsu dissipate, leaving the two creatures. The tall one is sitting up now, looking around and analyzing their surroundings. The second one is signing, now where Urahara can see it.

Hollow! You okay? I killed the Radiance and now I’m here. Think she brought us here. They sign. Is she gone? Shell-less Shaman healed your stab wounds. How is your mask? Do you need a bench?

The tall one holds up their hand, signing the best they can with one arm.

I am fine, sibling. Why do you call me Hollow? Is it a name? Have you bestowed me a name? What is your name, if you have one? It signs back, and the three shinigami (well, two shinigami and one part shinigami), watch in rising horror as the small one (Little Ghost, a name apparently given to them by their sister), is technically a god and a god killer, and a master of the nail, whatever that means.

Hollow does ask about the Nailsmith and the Nailmasters (what are with these names??), and Little Ghost talks about how Nailmaster Sheo now is a Paintmaster, happily with Nailsmith to make their own art and their own path. Hollow is not happy with how Little Ghost calls Sly a conniving bitch, though.

Once the catch-up is done, Hollow looks between Ichigo, Tessai, and Urahara.

You feel like Pale Being. They sign. Like Father and Mother (Little Ghost’s reiatsu screams hatred at the mention of their parents), like Radiance, like the Troupe Masters.

Little Ghost starts to flit at the mention of Troupe Masters, looking through a bag with fervor, but Urahara ignores them in favor of figuring out what is going on here.

“I don’t know what ‘pale being’ you speak of.” He starts. “But if they’re some kind of god, I can guarantee that we aren’t.”

Hollow seems to relax at that. Little Ghost sits down with a soft ‘thump’ and puts something on. Suddenly, there’s a chirp and a small creature that looks like it’s made of fire appears and nuzzles against Little Ghost. Hollow shifts at the creature.

Is that a... Hollow trails off.

Grimmchild! They sign excitedly before jumping and sprouting a pair of wings in pure joy. Didn’t think charms worked- You! They point towards Ichigo. Wield your nail!

They pull out what looks like some sort of sword, and things start to fall into place. Slowly.

Ichigo looks reluctant to fight this early in the morning, so Urahara gestures that he go back inside to sleep. He unsheathes Benihime, and Little Ghost lets him hit them.

Or so it seems because Urahara feels something go through his body, making his very soul quiver, and suddenly Little Ghost is behind him, and Tessai is looking increasingly concerned.

“Urahara-dono, maybe we should do something.” He says, and Urahara almost agrees. Until he sees what Little Ghost is signing to Hollow.

You can be free, Hollow. They sign. Pale King isn’t here. You can feel things, you can finally cry and smile and not hide. You are free. Ghost emphasizes the last word, and in that moment Urahara knows he might just have to bring these two into the family.

#bleached knight #thats the au tag now #<3 1 am writings #p bangs the keys #should i use bleach tags?#nahhhh well see how it goes

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deliberatelyvague · 5 years ago

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Spotlight (Asmodeus x fem!reader)

Started: April 5, 2020 at 7:42pm

Ended: April 5, 2020 at 8:50pm

Word Count: 2,030

Shipping: [Asmodeus x fem!reader]

Trigger Warning: cutting, eating disorder, (notes of) depression

Author’s Note: Uhh so here’s another one. I enjoy writing stories, so please, continue requesting!

Prompt/Request: OK SO IDK WHICH ONE I WANT TO REQUEST SO IM DOING BOTH. Can I request a mc x asmo scenario where mc is a super duper popular idol but it’s later revealed that in order to keep her beauty she develop an eating disorder and started to develop depression resulting in cutting her self?? Sorry for the weird ask!!

—————

You had always heard the saying ‘beauty is pain’. You didn’t realize how much pain it was, however, until you got down to the Devildom. Of course, you weren’t totally off Scott-free, your fans still expected some content, and you were in no place to deny them that.

Now, you loved the majority of your fans. They always backed you up, defended you and the link, but there was just somethings they couldn’t defend you from. Including yourself, unfortunately.

Getting famous started moderately fine, you went viral because of your singing videos, and you guess some modeling businesses enjoyed your looks and attitude enough that they asked if you could do some shoots. From then on, it was a whirlwind of sessions, meet and greets, starving yourself and self harming.

That last part was relatively new, and it was caused by some hate that you had received. Well, hate was to put it in modern terms. A tabloid had started rumors that you had gained weight, which wasn’t wrong (you were still growing and maturing, your body weight is going to fluctuate), but they stretched it beyond what it was and paired it with some terrible pictures taken with your guard down. It all mixed to create a terrible atmosphere, especially when other tabloids started to gossip about your weight as well.

Eventually it seemed that your weight was the only thing important. So, you started to cut down on food. You started to take walks and workout moderately regularly, and the results were almost instantaneous. You dropped a few pounds a week, your figure slimmed down and you had never felt better. But then, the opposite effect happened with the tabloids, talking about how much weight you had lost, but this time they were praising you. You loved that feeling, it’s why you continued singing and modeling anyway.

People called you beautiful and you thrived off the attention, which is probably why when you went to the Devildom you and Asmodeus hit it off so quickly.

You two were best friends within the first week you were there- and since he had a tendency of going partying after school and hanging out with other friends of his on some days, he never noticed how little you truly ate.

None of the other brother’s noticed, or you figured they didn’t.

But then something happened, you stopped losing weight as quickly as you had been. This sends you into spirals of anxiety, making you cut back more and more, exercise more. But it didn’t work. In fact, one week when you had weighed in, you had gained weight.

As you stared at that number flashing at you, the number that was only a pound above where it had been last week, you started sobbing.

Thoughts piled up in your mind about how you weren’t good enough anymore, about how your fans will leave you, about how Asmodeus would leave you. His friendship meant the world to you, and you would be lying if you told yourself that a friendship was all that you wanted from him.

But he was out partying with demons that were better than you, no doubt, ones that were skinnier, more confident, and yards better than you in everything.

In the back of your mind, you remembered the hater’s comments on some of your most popular songs, telling you about doing things to your body. You remember the tabloids gossiping about self-harm scars on popular actresses' bodies, and you thought about why they would do that. It’s said to be a pleasure source, something that makes the person doing it feel better.

You would do anything to feel actually, genuinely happy, for once, so before you even thought about it you had popped a blade out of the razor in the bathroom and pressed it to your hip. You almost never showed off your stomach, so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

You flinched away from the wound almost immediately, the pain coming in tiny spikes. But then, eventually, there was a bit of pleasure coming from it, watching little dots of blood pop up and drip down your hip and fall onto the ground. You cut yourself again, then once more.

You swallowed, breaking out of the trance the red lines had put you in before you realized that you needed to finish your homework. You cleaned up your cuts, sliding on a pair of loose-fitting joggers and a shirt you had taken from Asmodeus and padded over to your desk, sitting in the sodden chair, trying not to bother the cuts more than the pants would already. You quickly finished the homework, well as quickly as you could when every few minutes or so you would move slightly and the cuts would be agitated, and for a few quick moments you considered taking off your pants, but you didn’t know when Asmodeus would make his way to your room and come in without knocking like he usually did.

Though eventually you did change into some sleeping shorts, ones that almost fell off of your body, and that were practically bootie shorts.

“Doll, I’m coming in,” you heard Asmodeus’ voice through the door before he opened it. You were laying on your back on your bed, your head hanging off and your DDD in your hand.

“Asmo!” You called gleefully, his face immediately lightening your mood substantially. “How was the party?”

“It wasn’t as good as the one the other week, you remember that one, right doll? The one I forced you to come to.”

“Oh, yeah that one. I love that the first party you made me go to was also a rave. Go big or go home, right?”

“Of course! Now, Doll, what are we doing tonight? We could watch a movie and eat some unhealthy snacks?”

“Uh, we can watch movies, but I don’t really want to eat anything,” you told him, flipping around on your bed and sitting on your legs. He tilted his head and a frown formed between his two perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

“Oh? But Lucifer told me you didn’t eat tonight, you must be hungry?”

“No, I’m not really,” you assured him, but your stomach decided to betray you in that exact moment almost as if it was saying ‘don’t lie to him I am hungry’.

He looked from your stomach to your face with an unamused look on his face.

“[Y/N], he also told me that he’s never seen you eat, that you don’t eat dinner here at all. You know you don’t have to lie to me, right?”

The honesty in his voice and the look in his eyes almost broke you.

“I know,” he looked concerned, but didn’t push you. You knew you would tell him about your disorder when you were ready, hopefully if he had any idea about your disorder, he knew that too.

The two of you decided to do an at-home spa day, and he took you to his room. The two of you did face masks, hair masks, mani-pedis, and other things like that.

You had chosen each other’s nail colors, and you had picked an orange color to match his eyes, and he picked pink, using a holographic color on your ring figures. You liked that enough you did that on his ring figured too so you both would be matching.

While you waited for your nails to dry and picked out toenail polish, he asked you about any crushes.

“Oh, no, Asmo, I don’t really have my eyes on anyone,” you lied as you looked through the shades of blue he had. His eyes immediately lit up.

“Yes! Yes you do, I knew it! Who is it?” He said excitedly, and you shook your head.

“I knew you wouldn’t believe that. I’m not going to tell you because it’ll never happen, trust me.”

“Doll, how could you say that? I’m sure a lot of people would love to date you, to be able to call you theirs!” You shook your head, scoffing at him.

“Not this guy. I’m pretty sure he had his eyes on someone else, anyway.”

“Is it Lucifer? It does seem like he has his eyes on Diavolo, but I don’t know about that one, Doll. You still might have a chance.”

“No! It’s not Lucifer, I don’t have that big of daddy issues.”

“Who is it? Please, tell me,” he begged, and for the first time you actually looked at him. His eyes showed almost.. sadness. He seemed sad to be thinking about you with someone else.

You just shook your head.

“Asmo,” you let out, leaning back and looking at him. “It’ll ruin this.” He frowned.

“[Y/N], what do you mean?”

“Asmo,” here it comes, you just decided to let it out. “I like you. I really, really like you. But I understand if it weirds you out, if I’m not your type, I-”

You were interrupted when Asmo held the back of your head and brought your lips to his. You melted into his, and he put his hands on your hips and pulled you onto his lap. You let out a yelp when he pulled on you a little too hard, your cuts opening.

“Doll, what’s wrong?” He asks, before looking down at where his hands were, one of his hands having a little spot of blood on them and the shorts being stained with a little amount of blood. “[Y/N], what’s this?” You let his lift your shirt and pull down your shorts slightly, and he let out a small gasp, his face dropping as he took in your figure, one significantly smaller than it had been when you first came, and the multiple cuts you had on you.

“I, it’s just stress. The tabloids, the comment sections of almost anything when I post pictures, it’s all just a lot.”

“Doll, you could have come to me. Here, let’s fix you up a little bit,” he soothed, picking you up and making you wrap your legs around him, carrying you to his bathroom and dressing your wounds. You didn’t say anything to him. “When’s the last time you ate or drank anything?”

“I drank some water earlier today,” you tell him, and he smiles slightly and strokes your hair. “Good job on that, Doll. But we need to get some food in your stomach, okay?”

Your heartbeat sped up, and you shook your head, tears coming.

“No, Asmo, I can’t eat. Please, don’t make me.”

“I’m not asking you to eat much, please, I can’t have my girl dying on me. What about a piece of fruit and some more water?”

You looked at the floor for a few seconds.

“Can we watch something while I eat, and cuddle, please? It’ll help me take my mind off of it, I think.” He nods, and you both walk to the kitchen after fixing your clothes.

Grabbing your food and water you make your way to your room and turn on [TV show or movie] as Asmo sat on the floor, pulling you into his lap, his chest pressed against your back. He kissed underneath your ear.

Once you had finished the food, which took a bit, but it’s still down for now, he praised you.

“Good girl, Doll. Now finish the water and he can cuddle more.”

You finish the water and turn to him.

“Thank you, Asmo. For helping me.”

“Of course, Doll. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

————

This was written by me in no way trying to romanticize mental illnesses. I try to write what I feel would help me in the moment. I completely understand that mental illnesses don’t just ‘disappear’ when you’ve figured out that someone loves you or someone helps you once- that’s why I don’t write what happens after in most cases. If you are struggling, please reach out to anyone you trust, or call a hotline.

#obey me #obeymeoneshots #obeyme #obey me oneshots #obey me imagines #obey me x reader #obeymexreader #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #shall we date #shall we date asmodeus #shall we date asmo #asmodeus #asmo #asmo x reader #asmodeus x reader #x reader

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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dessarious · 5 years ago

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Broken Harmony Pt8

This parts a bit on the short side because I’m trying to keep up with posting everyday but the need for sleep is getting in the way lol. I promise I’ll get some longer updates this weekend though.

Master List 1 Master List 2 Prologue Beginning Previous Next

There’s complete silence for close to five minutes before Sabine stands up and walks slowly to the door.

“Maman?” Marinette’s tone was questioning but her song held an edge to it.

“I’m just going to call the school and tell them you won’t be returning.”

“Maman.”

“And set up an appointment to talk to your principal and teacher first thing in the morning.”

“Maman.”

“I promise I won’t yell. And I’m not saying anything until tomorrow about why we’re pulling you out.”

“Maman.” Every time the word came out of her mouth it was more and more exasperated. “Can you please wait until school is out? The principal will still be there and it’s less likely rumors will start flying immediately after you hang up.” She sounded tired, and not physically. Sabine was frowning but it looked to be at her own thoughts more than her daughter.

“Alright, I’ll wait.” She went to the kitchen instead and grabbed more tea as well as snacks for all of them.

“In the meantime, perhaps you could tell us more about your heroes. I wasn’t even aware Paris had any before we got here.” There was an implied question in Bruce’s statement and Damian was happy he wasn’t the only one wondering how they didn’t know.

“We hear that a lot from tourists.” Tom sat back in thought. “I know the Mayor is doing his best to keep the media contained so it doesn’t affect tourism. “ Sabine rolled her eyes in obvious annoyance. “But to be honest I think either Hawkmoth or Ladybug’s powers are a big part of it.”

“What makes you think that?” The question came from Marinette. There was a sharp edge to her song. It almost seemed like panic. Her father didn’t seem to notice anything and shrugged.

“It just makes sense. The Mayor can only do so much and with the Ladyblog,” He practically spat the name. “As well as other online news sites it’s bound to get out. Yet somehow it’s been two years and no one outside Paris seems to have a clue. Sounds like magic to me.”

He was right, it made a lot more sense that magic was involved in keeping things quiet because no matter how adept the Mayor was at controlling the media there’s no way they wouldn’t have even heard about it.

“You said Hawkmoth or Ladybug. I get why Hawkmoth wouldn’t want interference but why would you think the heroes would keep it quiet?” Bruce’s question was a good one but Damian was having trouble concentrating on the conversation. Marinette’s song was suddenly chaotic her emotions spiking and changing at lightning pace. What could possibly be going through her mind?

“If Ladybug is responsible I very much doubt she’s aware of it. What you have to understand is that our heroes are very young. Probably Mari’s age if I had to guess, which means they were barely teenagers when this started. I don’t know how they ended up as heroes but, at the beginning especially, you could tell they weren’t completely sure what they were doing. Even now I’m not sure they know their full potential.”

Marinette was staring at her father in something like awe. Her song had calmed but he could tell she was still anxious.

“So you’re being protected by children, and everyone is just going along with it?” Bruce sounded offended at the very thought. It was Sabine who answered.

“There’s not anything we can do about it. None of us know more than basic information about them or their powers and they haven’t been forthcoming about them. All we know is that their powers come from their Miraculous and for all we know it may be necessary for them to be wielded by children. I doubt it, but at the same time the two Miraculous held by adults are being abused and used for evil purposes so anything is possible. Either way Ladybug has saved Paris hundreds of times at this point so we have faith in her.”

“And what about the other hero?” Sabine’s face twisted in distaste and Tom blew out an agitated breath. Marinette seemed surprised by her parents responses though Damian could tell she felt about the same.

“Chat Noir hasn’t been acting like a hero for some time now. Honestly I’d love to get my hands on that boy and knock some sense into him.” Sabine gave a derisive snort. “He claims that he’s staying away from fights to ensure Hawkmoth doesn’t get what he wants and Ladybug won’t contradict him. Whether out of loyalty or because she’s afraid of a public panic I don’t know. But not long before his sudden absences at Akuma attacks he and Ladybug were caught arguing. I could guess what about but I won’t.” She seemed to get more worked up the longer she talked.

“Maman, please calm down. Whatever is going on is between them, us trying to figure it out or getting frustrated isn’t going to help.”

Tom leaned over and hugged his wife before responding to his daughter. “You may be right but his actions are making people lose faith in Ladybug and that is completely unacceptable.”

“Perhaps they should be losing faith in her. Two years later and we’re no closer to ending Hawkmoth’s reign of terror.” Her voice was small and all he could get out of her song was guilt and shame. Both her parents seemed to have been stunned speechless. “I just mean that maybe Bruce is right. Maybe we shouldn’t be leaving the safety of Paris in the hands of teenagers.”

The silence in the room was near deafening. Damian shared a look with his father but otherwise neither moved. Tom just looked taken aback by his daughter’s words. It was Sabine that worried him though. He had the distinct impression that she was barely holding herself back from shaking some sense into her daughter.

“Marinette.” She flinched at the sound of her mother’s voice and everything about her tensed up. “The adults in this case are a Mayor who’s more concerned about money flow and a Police department who flat out refused to work with Ladybug to try and find a solution. Do I think putting that responsibility in the hands of children was a good idea in the first place? Absolutely not. But it happened and Ladybug has been doing everything in her power to live up to everyone’s expectations. The least we can do is support her in anyway possible. She deserves nothing less.”

“Yes Maman.” Her emotions were a mess of contradictions Damian couldn’t make any sense of. Joy and gratitude mixed with guilt and depression. But under all of that was an overwhelming sense of doubt. It was like a steady thrumming bass line that held everything else in place. What made absolutely no sense to him was that he knew that doubt was aimed at herself. He knew that was important even if he couldn’t yet understand why.

Master List 1 Master List 2 Prologue Beginning Previous Next

Tag list for Broken Harmony

Thanks for all the positive responses! Here’s the tag list I’ve go so far. If I missed anyone let me know. There’s a few people on here that it’s not letting me tag properly. I’ll be working on that this weekend as well.

@crazylittlemunchkin @iggy-of-fans @captainmac6 @shizukiryuu @origami-dreams @yamadochie @drama-queen-supreme @miraculousbelladonna @mjisntme @zebrabaker @driftingmoonlitpetals @slytherinhquinn @politelyvicious @mystery-5-5 @constancetruggle @synnesstra @im-here-for-the-content @slytherinsheashire @myriad-of-passionate-pettiness @cyborgcandy @rhub4rb @satans-favorite-homo @beautym3 @ayuchan07 @zalladane @moonlitarchangels @mooshoon @mindfulmagics @saphiraazure2708 @chrismarium @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @tog84 @littleredrobinhoodlum @cupcakeandkisses @kiara-rose-blackthorn @moonlitarchangels @graduatedmelon @lunar-wolf-warrior @tbehartoo @zoerayne2426 @ellerahs @heaven428 @my-name-is-michell @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @myownworldstayout @alexzandria-747 @k-rena-k

#maribat #maridami #damimari #marinette dupen chang #damian wayne

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cheswirls · 4 years ago

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we come from the ashes (we leave under fire)

aight so now that im fully immersed in psycho pass again its time to drop the different routes of the sa psycho pass au. i think sabo and ace are just enough complex characters with different drives that they could fit into multiple roles in a pp au, so this is jus a fraction based on whats spoken to me. also, theres like, a touch of popular fanon characterization here and there but instead of far-off fanon its could-be-implied-from-canon fanon. regardless this is entirely to my taste.

also these aren’t full scenarios so some of them will cut off at odd moments!! they arent intended to be like outlines, jus my rambling thoughts. ill put a read more under the first one, theres 4 in total rn

route 1: e!sabo (former i) and i!ace [i: ace, lami | e: sabo, law, rayleigh, monet] -sabo is an inspector before ace at a young age (before turning 20) -sabo ends up being a well-rounded member of the team and soon becomes crucial to the overall success of missions -something happens that forces sabo’s hue to take a nosedive, and every little upset pushes him deeper, until his crime coefficient is so high the bureau is forced to remove him from the line of duty -knowing sabo’s innate prowess for the job, he’s placed in protective custody and forced to undergo mental therapy; however, this has the opposite effect, spiking his crime coefficient to almost unseen numbers (600+) -he spends three months in custody under observation, but as the number fails to drop, two key things are observed: 1, sabo is eerily calm for the most part, remaining near emotionless on the outside as a result of a coping mechanism learned through the attempted therapy, and for the most part functions like normal, aside from his absent personality; 2, the most part is there because sabo has brief psychotic breaks, most lasting mere minutes, but the recoil has him down and out of it for almost a full day, like someone with intense manic depression after an episode -knowing they can’t afford to lose a talent like sabo, and understanding the risks, the bureau brings him back under their care as a latent enforcer; aside from his shift in personality, and his lack of authority, sabo enters back into the life he had known before his crime coefficient skyrocketed -enter ace, three years after sabo’s reinstatement -ace and sabo are relatively close in age, but unlike sabo who joined the bureau of public safety immediately upon graduation, ace has a few years more of life experience under his belt before becoming an inspector -no one knows his ambitions or motives, and ace is careful not to let it slip, that he’s striving to uncover the situation that led up to his little brother losing his life -on ace’s first case, lami pulls him aside to say she was taking law, and wanted him to handle sabo and circle around; she warns ace not to let sabo overstep, because the power went to his head; ace asks ‘what are you trying to say?’ and lami tells him if he loosened sabo’s leash, the chain would snap off -sabo and ace, despite being in each other’s care, don’t mesh well together at first; sabo is intent to do things his own way, and is constantly berating ace for doing what he thinks is a second-rate job; the last thing ace wants is a latent criminal constantly correcting his choices and challenging his authority, but he just can’t seem to win with sabo -the first time ace witnesses one of sabo’s attacks is the same night he breaks from lami’s advice, letting sabo separate from him and monet to box in their suspect, monet makes a noise of disapproval when she sees sabo moving away, but when ace asks why, she only eyes him critically and says he’d already made his choice -they continue forward when lami contacts them through the comms, noting their target dot had stopped on the map and asking if ace had them in custody yet; ace admits he and monet were still on their way, so it was probably sabo, and lami cuts him off with a ‘sabo is alone??’ -shit, lami says, and orders him to get a move on, and to remember that they needed this one alive to link the motive to a previous case; her and the two enforcers with her would meet them there, already heading to the fixed location -it’s a frenzy to race to their destination, and ace notices along the way that his baton was missing from his person; monet mentions sabo must have taken it without his knowing, and ace opens his mouth to deny it, but he doesn’t get the chance to when they come out in an open area and find sabo burying the stolen baton into their culprit’s stomach -it’s clear that sabo had taken his time in brutalizing the person already, an when ace shouts over, asking what he was doing, mentions that sibyl’s judgement wouldn’t be enough, so he was doing it his way; ace immediately has problems with this, but him and monet are on an incline, a wide space still separating them from sabo, and his options are limited to pointing his dominator when it’s clear sabo has no intention of stopping, and hoping for the best -except, the best doesn’t happen, because sibyl scans sabo’s crime coefficient at way over 500 and still rising, and before ace’s eyes transforms into a lethal eliminator; sabo looks up, as if sensing this, and freezes as he’s met with the sight, with the dominator trained on him; it’s enough for the person under him to start squirming to get free, and ace doesn’t want to kill sabo, that wasn’t his intention by any means, but it wasn’t like there was a safety feature on dominators, so there was nothing he could do -but he could, because there was still a trigger, and as their suspect claws their way halfway out from underneath sabo, ace makes a decision, quickly pointing the dominator down as he fires, so that it hits their target instead of the enforcer; the person combusts, sabo drops his makeshift weapon and collapses to his knees, and ace’s dominator reverts to its usual state without a target to lock on -sabo still looks haunted, and its worse now that he’s absolutely covered in blood; he starts gasping for breath, curling his arms around his stained suit jacket, and falls completely as his legs give out; his hands shoot out to catch himself, but they keep slipping on all the blood on the ground, and at that moment ace doesn’t see a latent criminal, he sees someone his age looking utterly terrified, so he holsters his dominator and makes to move to help -but monet holds him back with an arm over his chest, watching sabo with a stern expression; ace looks at her incredulously and she tells him to wait in a stern tone, holstering her own dominator to activate her comm and alert lami -sabo’s panic attack has dissolved from breathing at this point, and he’s crying hysterically, one hand clenched in his hair; ace stands still and watches as lami’s group appears on the same platform, level with sabo, and take in the situation very quickly; monet releases him but he doesn’t move forward, and down below, lami ushers for law to stand in front of sabo, holding her dominator level with his chest -the read on the enforcer forces the dominator into paralyzer mode, and law sidesteps just as lami fires, ‘its time to sleep now’, so that it hits sabo instead, cutting off his hysterics as he sags fully to the messy ground -ace realizes then that there was a trick in the system, because when she had pulled off was not unlike what he had just done with his own dominator, delivering the judgement to a different target than the one scanned; lami later admits she’d learned it from the chief inspector upon insistence of the bureau head, for situations like these, because still in moments when it seemed like sabo was too far gone, the public safety bureau still considered him and asset they couldn’t afford to lose -ace isn’t suspended for his actions, but reiju makes it very clear he was on thin ice, and he and lami aren’t on speaking terms just yet; in the lull between cases, with their only lead splattered all over a back alley, ace opts to visit sabo in medical; he had a peculiar situation, the medic ward tells him, sabo up and about around 18 hours after being paralyzed, a little longer than usual, but not behaving like it by any means; sometimes he would fall unconscious, other times he was awake but completely listless, his eyes open but unseeing, his head refusing to rise off the pillows; the ward admits the enforcer would be like this for another half day, maybe longer, though his crime coefficient had dropped down by almost 150 points; when ace asks what that made it now, its with a chuckle he’s told sabo’s range is still exceedingly high, almost at 600 -ace keeps coming back, viewing sabo from behind the glass, until he starts to regain some function; when he responds to a question while having his iv changed, ace convinces the ward to let him take sabo the tea they were bringing in; sabo eyes him critically when he walks in, but ends up thanking ace when he reaches out to take the steaming mug; ace settles into the stool beside the medical cot and sabo lets him be, not questioning his presence, not until ace starts asking questions -but sabo’s anger at being asked why quickly dissipates, his body not able to keep up with the intense emotion, and he shrugs in lieu of an answer, drinks his tea; but ace isn’t leaving, and after a while and an empty mug, sabo admits he was trying to get their suspect’s crime coefficient to rise above 300, because he didn’t like the idea of bringing them in and locking them in a cell when there was a slim chance they could recover, after what they had done -ace is horrified by this, and it must show on his face, because sabo shrugs; that’s just how he is sometimes, he admits; his mind falls into a black pit, and he can’t escape, and when it’s finally over it takes forever to feel like himself again -ace admits lami had it out for him because he killed their suspect, and the laugh sabo produces in response is gruff; she’ll get over it, he says, she’s always like that, he says, she’s not a hard person to piss off, he says; ace asks suddenly why their relationship was so tense, and sabo shrugs, saying him and lami used to be tight, but then he became like this, and she no longer thought society had a use for him

route 4: e!sabo and e!ace (both former i) [i: ace, sabo | e: katakuri, kuzan, shinobu, rebecca] -this is the one i think would be the most fun, but ultimately wouldn’t advance anywhere, with both being latent criminals and being bound by what the position entailed -in this case ace, whose own emotions had always fluctuated and took a toll on his higher-than-average crime coefficient, falls first, driven to near despair when sabo is almost fatally injured during what was supposed to be a routine roundup -sabo had taken an enforcer and was forced into close-quarters combat, and before he could subdue whatever had caused the enforcer to rage, his crime coefficient dips enough for the stunner to paralyze him (thru the enforcer using their own dominator on sabo upon identifying his elevated psycho pass); left with very little option to struggle, sabo is lethally injured and left for dead before backup arrives -ace’s crime coefficient spikes when confronting the scene, and he doesn’t hesitant to kill the enforcer before rushing to sabo’s side; unfortunately, as sabo is rushed to emergency care, his absence does ruin to ace, whose number refuses to fall as his hue grows cloudier -when sabo wakes up, on a long road to recovery, ace is nowhere to be found, and the chief inspector reveals he had been arrested; sabo is frantic, only able to think of ace, and what he was going through now, and why this had to happen to ace of all people, and then of the small box he had nestled in a hidden space in their shared flat, something he would never get to use now -the bureau releases an inter-team statement that ace was not at fault for the enforcer’s demise, ruling it off with use of the dominator, but that didn’t excuse his crime coefficient from refusing to fall, and if he wanted to continue work for the bureau, had to be reinstated as an enforcer -the toll on their new life (ace living somewhere different, ace having a curfew, no longer having ace next to him every second of the day, no longer even to have him to hold at night) is heavy for sabo, and it doesn’t help that ace keeps saying it was expected, that he become just like his father after all -sabo grabs him by the cheeks and tells him to stop, please, bc that wasnt true and saying that would only make it worse, and didnt ace know how much he loved him for who he was already, and that ace was already perfect in sabos eyes; ace apologizes and promises to try better, and sabo breaks away, going on a mini tangent, saying how he couldnt handle it anymore and his hue was getting cloudy, and how ace had to do his best to get out, to stabilize, so that they could begin to return to some sort of sanity -ace promising to do that, and worrying over sabo’s declining mental state, because worrying over him shouldnt have been priority and yet sabo was fretting anyway, and sabo pulls back again to say this was the last time he would see ace for a while; when ace asks sabo admits he was getting institutionalized for treatment, bc it was the only thing he could think to do, and that he wanted ace to focus on getting out, even if he had to be demoted to an enforcer, bc at least he would be out in some sort of sense, and if sabo wasnt waiting for him then he would have to wait just a little longer -the realization of how much sabo was getting affected nearly kills ace, and the weight is heavy in his eyes, enough for sabo to see, and the ring box in his pocket is burning, and he doesnt even know why he brought it with him, bc its not like he could propose to a latent criminal anyway; ace knows what sabo going away means, and even if a thousand questions bubble in his mind, (what about the dog, what about the house, what about the bills, what ab-) he throws them all aside in favor of pulling sabo close, and holding him tight, and promising everything would turn out just fine, even if they would never live the way they used to before case x -(sabo goes home after being released to manage his and ace’s affairs, and ends up giving their dog away before fleeing to a mental facility) -sabo checks himself into a mental facility to deal with the sudden weight on his shoulders, sure that if he continued to suffer by himself he would end up in the same fate as ace -it doesn’t help, though; the facility sets him on a physical therapy track along with a stress recovery one, but the two don’t exactly work hand in hand, as sabo increasingly develops ptsd and more stress from the pt exercises -sabo spends an uncertain amount of time in the institution, and while he leaves nearly fully physically recovered, his psycho pass never regressed to where it was before he was injured -reiju, the chief inspector, comes to pick him up and bring him to the bureau; sabo asks what was going to happen to him on the car ride there, and reiju reveals she would give him a choice, and a handful of hours to think it over; once in her office, sabo finds ace waiting for him; reiju gives them a moment before settling, and tells sabo while he couldnt become an inspector again with his crime coefficient, he could settle for working as an enforcer for another division; she reveals more details re, he would be confined to the bureau’s tower, have restricted access, be limited regarding orders, be under someone’s strict command, etc etc; his other alternate was to undergo treatment in a cell in latent criminal housing, like ace had tried -sabo is given three hours to think it over, and reiju lets ace take him from the room; before ace can drag him far, he brings him to a sit-down with kuzan, shinobu, and one of the inspectors that had replaced them; its more of a reunion with the former two, with them sharing their experiences with the matter, and the new inspector saying it would be an honor to work with sabo, but would respect his decision either way, acknowledging that ‘becoming an enforcer wouldnt do anything to help his psycho pass, and was most likely going to make it worse’ -ace takes sabo to his room in the tower and they fall together on the couch; they have somewhat of a serious discussion about it all, because while ace would love to have sabo by his side, he knows it wouldnt be permanent like it used to be, because they would be on different divisions, they would most likely have separate living quarters, and their freedoms were greatly restricted; the other side is that sabo could potentially get better, and if his psycho pass recovered and was cleared, he could live on the outside again, he could be an inspector if he wanted, or he could do anything; he didn’t have to work for the bureau anymore if it was too much, whereas if his psycho pass was never fully cleared, he wouldnt have any sort of option, being confined to a cell -ace doesnt realize, but sabo has all but given up; hed spent so long in the hospital, and if that hadnt worked, how would being in a cell help any more?; he knows, logically, given enough time, things that hadnt worked before might begin to help, but he also knows that would be a long road to recovery, and right now he was only concerned with the short and easy; he dissuades ace in the gentlest way possible and reveals he would settle for an enforcer position, since the bureau would still have him, and this way he could be with ace again, as close to normal as they could get -ace doesnt know what to feel, because short term him feels gratified that he would have sabo back, but long term he knew sabo was giving up a shot at normal life again, and it killed him to acknowledge that; he doesnt react any one way or another, accepting sabos decision -reiju is much the same, taking his choice without any approval or disapproval; she makes a number of calls and system commands while sabo waits on the plush couch, and when she’s done sabo has an updated id card, badge, terminal access, a cleared desk with his confiscated items being moved to it, and funds for at least one suit; all the basics, along with one holo flipped to face his way, revealing a walkthrough diagram of a basic furnished apartment that had the potential to be his -when sabo questions the last part, reiju smiles, and puts two keys on the desk; one is the new apartment, and the other is a spare of ace’s; sabo is startled when he realizes the implications, and reiju’s smile turns knowing; she cautions him that he could always have a place of his own to escape to, but sabo doesnt hesitate to take the second key and hold it close -reiju tells him to retire for the night, and in the morning, he would report to his division’s staff room for the [evening/morning, trauma relive implications for evening, escapism for morning] shift, the same as ace’s timetable; if anything happened, he already knew standard protocol, and if anything didnt, it was more time spent unpacking to his desk and familiarizing himself with the team -ends (?) with sabo meeting sonia, who had joined the division during his absence, and lami, who he knew only in passing, and law, an enforcer he knew used to be an inspector like him; ends w sabo telling ace he hasnt given up, not just yet, but that he wanted to help people again in the meantime, even if that meant stretching out his recovery a little longer, and that ace better not have given up either, and ace affirming that he hadn’t

route 5: i!ace and i!sabo (turned e) [i: koby, sabo | e: rayleigh, law, izo, kuzan] [i: ace, sonia | e: sabo, law, ikkaku, izo] -for the most part, sabo and ace have life made; they’re married, they share a house, they’re partnered on the job in the same division, everything is as it should be -and then an incident occurs, and the first division is suddenly looking for a new inspector to replace the one that had lost, and to help close out the ongoing investigation -they end up choosing sabo, who is hesitant at first, but after getting debriefed on the case, jumps on the case; now things get a little rougher, longer hours for sabo, different timetables, multiple nights where he pulls all-nighters and resists the pull of his bed at home for his desk at work -ace becomes spiteful after being supportive for so long, almost unable to bear the stress of never seeing sabo for such long stretches of time; and their relationship becomes strained as a result, because sabo doesn’t want to move back down to a lower division now that he’s tasted the top -and then something goes wrong, and sabo comes home near dawn very awake and very afraid, and forgets that he and ace are mad at each other, and runs to him for comfort; ace stays awake with him until they both have to leave for work, never asking what was wrong, only being a soothing presence that ultimately amounts to nothing, when sabo is refused entry into the bureau for his bad psycho pass -(ace first noticing sabo’s hand shaking, and the fact that he could see his hand, that his gloves were off, was the first sign that something was very wrong. sabo lets ace hold him for a long time, try and work on getting him to breathe, and then calming him down, and then sabo bursts out crying, and ace quietly shushes him, drawing him closer, saying it was okay, whatever it was, it would be okay, they would move past it, together, because they did everything together and ace wasn’t going to leave him alone for this; this just makes sabo cry harder because he knows ace can’t follow, not with a clear mental hue, and its a big punch to the gut; ace stripping sabo of his suit jacket and holding him close, lying them on their bed, and finally as sabo’s cries become only harsh breaths, asks if he needed to skip work, take the day off; sabo doesn’t have to think long to know that was only delaying the inevitable, because his hue wasn’t going to change if he was home alone stressing or home with ace stressing -he knew what he’d been through was too much for either of them to handle by themselves, and being given one day to live in bliss and ignorance would only make the next day, when they had to return to the bureau, that much harder) -sabo and ace’s day-to-day lives are upheaved after this; sabo is stripped of his rank and authority, and suddenly instead of it being a rarity that him and sabo would cross paths at home, sabo is never home because he is not allowed to be -the bureau forces sabo to stay at a rehabilitation center and he does so for two long months, learning to control his emotions even as his crime coefficient never fully stabilizes below 100 again; after this time, before he’s released, the new division one inspector now partnered with ace pays him a visit and urges him to come back to div 1 with her, saying they could really use his help, that they still needed him, that he still had a purpose, and a chance, under sibyl -privately, sabo thinks to himself that the sibyl system is the entire reason his life is now in shambles; things would never go back to how they were, but at least if he rejoined the bureau as an enforcer, he could live at the psb and ace would be allowed to visit, as opposed to living in latent criminal housing in isolation -sabo accepts and ace tackles him they next time they meet at the bureau, nearly on the verge of tears, and their colleagues give them a minute to sort themselves; ace admits that he thought sabo still had a chance, that there was that story of an enforcer who had recovered and was able to rejoin society, and that he promised when sabo recovered enough to live on the outside again, they would both quit the bureau and live more peaceful lives; sabo has reservations about all these hopes, but he’s not in the mood for disappointing ace more than he already has, so he keeps his mouth shut -division 1 has almost been entirely restructured since sabo’s departure, but the case that had left the division devastated was still open-ended, much to his distress, but no new leads and a new distinct lack of things to follow up on leave the case virtually at a standstill; sabo vows to look into it on his own time, because it wasn’t something he was willing to let go just yet -ace catches him in the act, because ace is always watching him these days, but after sabo admits his intentions declares he wants to help too; seeing sabo willingly put himself into the line of fire again by opening the case back up does something to ace, makes him realize how much sabo is willing to push himself for others and for the sake of his job, and how that was a quality of his he’d always been in love with

route 6: i!sabo and e!ace [i: lami, sabo | e: ace, rebecca, monet, law] -in this one ace is a latent criminal with a high crime coefficient and is jaded from his past with roger, believing it to be his father’s fault and his father’s legacy that drove him over the edge -sabo is an upstart at the public safety bureau, and he has just recently transferred to the division ace serves in as an enforcer -ace is brash and uncompromising, not unlike other enforcers sabo had worked with but far more difficult (this is definitely the enemies to lovers route k? k) and the best advice sabo can get from his new coworkers are don’t even try with him -but it’s unlike sabo to give up without a challenge, and so he attempts to match ace, crazy stunt for stupid tactic for idiotic, rushed plan, enough so that after a bit ace goes from being annoyed to being slightly impressed sabo was willing to put himself through so much; not that he would ever admit it aloud, though -the turning point is sabo doing a daring move on a case that saves the life of another enforcer; ace turns the thought in his head, and decides he could respect sabo’s actions in that instance, because enforcers were replaceable and technically criminals with no futures, but sabo had put one before his own life anyway, and something about that touches ace in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time -their relationship evolves from that point, where ace will stop sabo from rushing in instead of letting the inspector risk himself for his own amusement, and generally tries to watch sabo’s back when the chance arises; it takes sabo a little while and a few prods from others to notice ace’s flip, but once he starts taking it in, his view of the enforcer changes little by little -because it’s not like ace is a bad person, per se; true, he was a brute and he could be vicious and he had a temper and a tendency to snap bones before asking questions, but he wasn’t always like that; he wasn’t like that to little rebecca, who was younger than him, or any of the victims they encountered on the scene that didn’t deserve the harsh sentiment; he didn’t have the energy to be nasty and self-serving all the time, and as sabo begins to watch for it, it shows more and more -it reaches a point, ace looking out for him, where when they’re on a dangerous scene confronted with the aftermath of something horrific, and sabo descends into a panic attack and nearly loses himself, it’s ace that stays by him the entire time and helps pull him from his mind, soothing him enough that his number drops to normal -from then on, the negative outlook they held of each other disappears near entirely; sabo still finds he struggles with the memories of that day, and ace more often than not is by his side when he’s consumed by thoughts, helping to ease him out -it happens late enough one night, with sabo hunched over his desk staring at his bright computer screen, pouring over scarce documents to a tough case, that he’s startled when he’s pulled from bad thoughts by a warm hand on his shoulder and an even warmer drink being pressed into his hand; ace convinces him, after an hour of fruitless effort of turning up anything new, to take a breather, at least until the sun was out; sabo agrees, almost too tired to function, and lets ace lead him from the room and into one of the spacious lobby areas, where they both collapse onto a couch; sabo doesn’t even notice ace running a hand through his light hair until he can fall asleep, or the way he’s caged in by ace’s legs, reclined against his front -when sabo wakes in the morning he is not alone, but ace is keeping distance; he’d waved around a mug of heavy espresso until the smell had sabo roused from sleep, crouched down in front of the couch, and sabo finds his head propped up by pillows that feel cold compared to . . he’s not sure what -monet enters into the lounge when sabo is sat up and a bit more awake, and pauses to eye him for a minute, until her mouth curves into a dangerous smirk; sabo asks but she shrugs, leaving without giving him a proper answer; later, in the office, sabo finds her and law hunched together, the two looking up at the same time to fix him with knowing looks that he doesn’t know how to respond to -sabo looks around and asks where lami was, since her shift just ended, and law tells him she was in his room several floors down, revealing when she needed rest but couldn’t afford to go all the way home for it (or stubbornly refused not to) then she had a spare key to his quarters so she could sleep without leaving the psb tower -sabo is mildly surprised by this, knowing the relationship between her and law but being unaware that inspectors entered into the rooms of enforcers, previously viewing the invisible boundary between the two as much more strict -but as he begins to observe more, he finds that maybe that wasn’t the case; and his own feelings regarding it all surface when rebecca has lunch with him one day, and admits that shes ‘never seen ace act the way he does with you with anyone before’

#saboace #writing #??? sure #op #if i ever write this itll def be like a oneshot series #i think i rambled too much here to have them b drabbles #but like def multiple fics under the same overarching name #im rewatching s3 again and the idea of the diver and the tether??#so so good hmmm but iunno abt a mentalist route #maybe i could restructure 2 or 3 to fit it #also i think i included dragon in 3 or 7 and i like that again #dragon challenging the system once in the past #and being a past figure that has consequences for the present cast #anyway im rambling too much heres the pp au stuff!!!

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