#he just seemed like the kind of person who wouldnt want that what so ever

[weirdmageddon]

why i think aradia and john work so well

(with some stuff i’ve been wanting to yap about for ages)

have you guys ever given arajohn / johnradia (idk if its popular enough to even have a standardized ship name) any thought …? i know it seems kind of out of left field. i’ve considered it and i think its. really really good. i have a bunch of thoughts to unpack. come join me. and maybe grab a snack or something because i didn’t realize how much i'd actually have to say about this

(fantastic art by skeletood)

the other day i made a tweet that did rather well where i said, “john and aradia shouldve talked more. its so simple but i like how she actually earnestly answers his questions. so many characters in this comic are so mean to john for just wanting to know more give him a break”

putting it out there now im not big about shipping for the sake of shipping. there needs to be real chemistry. i need to sense that as a reason why two characters would potentially be a good influence on each other. i never knew why i was always so obstinate about this because it’s fictional and not materially hurting anyone, but i think it might be because i’m not sure how to justify it or explain it if not.

i strongly believe john and aradia would have had it made out for them if circumstances allowed it. (what i mean by “ship” or “johnradia” extends to any kind of interpersonal dynamic, even if just a good friendship. it doesnt even have to be romantic, just some sort of dynamic with them.)

unfortunately aradia originally committed herself to staying out of trolling the kids over their timelines, so john and aradia never talked until year 3 on the ship in the dream bubbles but they never had a truly proper one-on-one without outside meddling. i think if john knew aradia better and her story beforehand, she had more time to explain herself and her history, he wouldnt have been unsettled. and also of course if his experience with the trolls didn’t suck so bad because he already had expectations for how antagonizing most of them were.

i found people’s sentiments about johnradia elsewhere too. i remembered that they were both on the song art for ascend, and searched ao3 to see how many fics have been written to gauge how substaintial it’s been in the homestuck fandom. only 17 of them turned up. but the people who do talk about it are either curious about it or really do like it, and that interested me.

clearly it’s pretty niche character relationship to be depicted in any fanwork and i can understand why. despite being so small, from what ive seen it seems universally agreed upon to be nice. i haven’t seen a single person object to it. what ive seen falls into two categories: “wow i didnt think about this before but i actually dig it” or “(starving) finally some good fucking food”

the pattern im seeing is that people think it’s “random”, but i disagree. there is something there substantiating it even if they’re unable to articulate it.

the fanfic these comments are from is chronology of wind. that fic is really, really good, and sadly unfinished. i have more abstract reasons to believe why aradia and john would be good in theory, so actually seeing someone else actually make something with them helped me read it in action, to get a more tangible feel of the dynamic beyond what we have in canon.

i wouldn’t normally make claims about a relationship with regard to homestuck canon by looking at their relationship in a fanfic, because i think you all know by now i am very nitpicky about accurate characterization, and it does not go unnoticed by me when people get it right because for some reason it feels like a one in a million thing (even though it really shouldn’t be?). so this was a special case. the tone was completely consistent with canon. this fic is so in-character i’d basically consider it an extension of canon. to me it’s like they took the same characters and plopped them into this scenario to see how they’d interact. guys… i love that stuff so much. i love fanfiction or fanworks that depict realistic extensions of canon and stays true to the energy and tone of the source, but deepens it. there isn’t enough of it imo. i want to see more of it.

anyway, what i read of their conversations in that fic basically aligned with what i was thinking in my head about what i’d expect it to be like. i was able to compare how aradia and john talked to how aradia and the other characters interacted, their comparative attitudes towards each other—how they’re treated by others compared to how they treat each other.

have you noticed john and aradia’s communication values are both based on sincerity, being in the proper know, treating people fairly, and thanklessly taking on the necessary work that “must be done” in order to have what they really want — a good time that feels meaningful? and they accomplish this without any adjustment in how they talk to each other.

john is always subtly (or not-so-subtly) asking the people around him to answer him soberly and to the point so he knows whats going on and what that means for what his options are. he needs to know to what end he will be applying his absurd energetic drive into making shit happen. aradia honors his time before john can even become uncomfortable with the amount of time being eaten up by conversation. contrast this with rose, who seems to go on for a while with prose-like conversational adornments. in dire situations that need rapid explanation and definitive answers so he knows what to do, this is really the last thing he needs. aradia doesnt waste john’s time. she answers all his questions, and does it politely to boot. his time talking to her doesn't feel wasted.

john's impatience with this sort of nonsense is also why i can’t see something like dirkjohn working out, for example. to me it feels like @entropicbias also deeply understands this on some level because i literally couldn’t have demonstrated what i mean by it any better myself than that. i'm gonna have to to hit him up about how much i genuinely respect that like tbh hes one of the few i absolutely trust to handle writing and depicting these characters in situations and their interpersonal dynamics. and also care about doing their characterization justice as much as me.

of course people are still entitled to like whatever they like, ship whatever they want to. i dont care. but i just don’t think it would work from the perspective of the minds of the canon characters, how they generally think and approach situations. and i can already tell people might ask me how do i know this? what makes me an expert? i’m not more than anyone else is (although i have been called a "characterization expert" from my friends), but i do know that i can pick up on the energetic chemistry between people, including characters, honestly precognitively, without even thinking? like if it’s stiff or tense or awkward, if people aren’t free to express themselves uninhibitedly, if they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. i can sense this almost instantly. it’s something that’s a visceral feeling in my body i cant express and i have to rationalize it after the fact. like i’m doing now in fact writing this big analysis.

> listen to me talk about my special interest boy

for the next section to make sense, you probably want to read this post. i initially started writing it within this post to explain but there was so much brewing i had to explain the context that it turned into something i wanted to post on its own terms.

> okaaaaaayyyyy i read all that

thank you, really. my main point is using the conceptual tools provided by this system to expIain why aradia and john feel nice together and why i’ve seen people positively perceive the idea of a relationship between them even if it seems “random”.

framing them in this system, it wouldn’t be random! there’s a good reason they seem to fit nicely. this is because john and aradia have complementary forms of information metabolism. information metabolism is talked about in this section.

Jung’s psychic types are the types of cognition, or intelligence. But it would probably be easiest to call them types of IM [information metabolism], since the main difference between the types of people lies in their exchange of information with the external world.

Aushra Augusta, Commentary on Jung’s Typology and Introduction to Information Metabolism

aradia megido’s type of information metabolism (otherwise known as a TIM) is LII. john egbert’s TIM is ESE.

aradia and john’s types are duals. you can read more about what that entails here. in theory, their interactions would reflect the duality dynamic. reading chronology of wind, that one really in-character fic that explored their dynamic made me excited because they do!

michael pierce gave an overview of his impression of the characteristics of this intertype dynamic. despite only rough knowledge in socionics while he wrote this, his understanding of duality was spot on to me from my experience and others and i wanted to share it here. (fittingly, i believe he is also LII.)

Now we have the famous duality relationship: in a nutshell, this role is characterized by two traits: 1) a very close psychological distance or intimacy, and 2) a great ease of interacting with each other. It is sometimes described how meeting one's dual can be the event of a lifetime, because it inspires aspects in each party's character that they had never expressed before: the pair may even drop out of society for a time in order to focus on just each other, and to explore themselves through interaction with each other. The curious thing in this relationship is that these parties are rather different in outlook, and when they are not actually interacting as potential friends it's probably more likely for them to dislike or mistrust each other because of how different they are. […] However, when they are able to interact normally, it is a strange and wonderful discovery to realize that the interaction is unexpectedly smooth and invigorating. It's hard for people to describe, but as I understand it: while both parties recognize their differences on the surface, these differences are created by a root structure that coincides perfectly with each other, so that the differences on the surface are entirely complementary and cause no friction at all.

it’s also meaningful to consider that the structure of my own psyche is LII as well. so i’ve got a bit of a bias towards aradia and john.. not in the sense that what i actually say about them is personally biased, but that the bias is moreso my personal attention to people and characters of these two types in particular to see how my own experiences are reflected in them. i really do feel of a reflection of my own thought and work process in aradia and in the more abstract sense she is like an extension of myself. when people say they like aradia as a character i get secondhand joy from that because shares certain specific traits with me. of course i am still my own person though.

these are some of the most apt profiles i've found for these types at a glance. again, think about these characters as you read these descriptions. [from here (ESE / LII)]

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert) - john

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on socializing and guiding social situations and interactions so that the people involved can have fun and enjoy themselves. ESEs are typically in the middle of what is happening socially and know about the latest events and what people think and feel about them. They are skilled at bringing people together in fun and interesting ways and making everyone feel actively involved. Their friends know them as people who love life and feel most at home in social situations surrounded by other fun people. In their pursuit of fun-oriented and stimulating social interactions, ESEs typically neglect to structure their own thought processes and views in a way that would help them know exactly what they think and why. They are receptive to others’ attempts to help them introduce more structure and logical consistency in their life and thinking processes. They gravitate most to people who open up to fun and emotional interaction easily, yet are also skilled at systematizing thoughts and views and explaining ideological matters.

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert) - aradia

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on logical, structured thought and generating true assertions and views. LIIs are typically strict thinkers who are concerned that everything fits together in a logical way. They are skilled at understanding, generating, and criticizing logical arguments and instilling their views in the people around them. Their friends know them as people with well-organized thoughts and opinions who know what they think and can elucidate their ideas to others. In their pursuit of logical understanding, LIIs typically neglect their external social interactions and activities that would help them lighten up and experience a connection with other people. They are receptive to others’ attempts to create these fun and lighthearted situations for them. They gravitate most to people who are interested in their opinions and understanding of things, but are also skilled at organizing social interactions and creating a sense of emotional unity.

ive recently consciously experienced the feeling of duality for the first time since i've been communicating with my mom's high school classmate, and it is definitely a real thing. i even remember mom pointing out she noticed when we were all talking on the phone over a year ago that i perked up whenever he said stuff. here is how i explained it:

its bonkers how only once i experience something for myself i’m able to explain in detail what makes it so great based on what my impressions about it were because i tend to have a peculiar way of describing the qualities of an experience. my specialty is deep precision in my analogies for what it’s like. so now i can tell you how conversations with your dual feel… heres the status report. it’s weightless. its so strange. like the topic conversation stretches into infinity that you can pick right back up at any time. it’s hazy and unfocused but still pleasant (unless you’re particularly self-conscious and need to unlearn hiding your true self). but the best parts of it come when you have a specific issue or insecurity that comes with being your most natural self that the world seems to misunderstand about you, or just not give you what you don't even know you’ve been looking for. i think you might mutually intimidate each other at first because you're lowkey both expecting to be made fun of for your inadequacy with certain types of information that the other is nuanced with (and you’re not), but it never comes. you don't feel like what your dual wants in life is wrong. your dual seems so talented in all the ways you hope to shine but you’re always unsure of. for the introvert (me) wishing they felt their own active presence as an object (Se, Ne, Te, Fe) like the extravert does. for the extravert, wishing they felt their own relationships with other objects (Si, Ni, Ti, Fi) like the introvert does. any other intertype relationship (ITR) vs. duality is like the difference between 99% and 100% totality of a solar eclipse, except it’s the level of understanding with another person, like the eclipsing of your own information metabolism with theirs. of course there are other things that influence how well your relationship with this person goes, but i am talking strictly about when it comes to basic communication, the level of understanding you share. sometimes it might feel like you dont have much to talk about or the topic is unfocused, because you two ARE opposites in many ways after all, especially at a glance (domain of interests usually come with specific macroelements. theories about thought structures—like socionics, for instance—are in the domain of intuition, while physical interests and experiences are in the domain of sensorics.) i’m LII in the NT club (researchers) and my dual ESE in the SF club (social-communicative). so they’re constantly providing you with information from their own niche in life that you may be entirely unfamiliar with, but for some reason still interests and relaxes you to hear. you might not feel like you have a lot to say about the topic since but you are fully amazed by this person’s activity. it also makes you feel more sure of yourself and more confident that people truly appreciate and need your natural abilities.

> let’s break it down

here’s some lightly modified descriptions of the information blocks in LII and ESE's information metabolism models from pyatnitsky so you can get an overarching impression of how their type contributes to the informational sphere. i added some of my own adjustments and borrowed some sentences from stratiyevskaya's descriptions. additionally, you can click on the name of the block for an explanation of the role it plays.

i put about a week’s work into these collages but my goal with them was to actually show where i think these information blocks are most pertinent in these characters specifically and where they apply so it’s not just some abstract thing, just as supplementary examples as needed. (for the meaning of these information elements individually you can refer to cysia’s document.)

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert)

EGO (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Analytical thinking. They are well aware of the interrelationships of some objects or phenomena with others, and what laws are in effect or not in effect. On the basis of a comprehensive analysis, they put forward insights about the global essence of specific objects and phenomena, their possibilities. They acutely charge the situation with potential energy. For every situation, there is an archetype.

Super-EGO (-Fi? -> -Se!). Normative ideas about relationships between people and ways to get out of unpleasant ethical situations. Understands ethics as founded on the principles of fairness; to do to one side of the equation that you do to the other. Volitional manifestations in order to protect their living space are carried out only on the basis of personal experience. Because of the limited opportunities to fight back, they react painfully to attempts of any interference in his life. Does not respond to any arbitrary crudeness or volitional pressuring. Does not compromise goals, stubbornly clings to them. Avoids direct confrontation if possible, would rather talk civilly and earnestly. Uses their naturally strong sense of the conditioning of objects over time to avoid collisions with their material interests. Due to this, they may appear as someone with very little weaknesses.

Super-ID (+Fe -> +Si?) Attracts information about a good mood, a specific positive state, or a feeling. They would like to think that they can eliminate serious inconveniences, make the environment around them more comfortable. This skill needs to be evaluated. They are unconsciously activated when there is a need to make the environment more comfortable, which should lead to a better state, raise the mood at least in the immediate environment. In friendly, comfortable, and informal company, their cool exterior thaws and they start lighting up with joviality.

ID (+Te! → +Ni?). Has developed guidelines and methods that relate to specific practical activities, technological effectiveness, and resource use. Spontaneously feels the correct allocation of resources over time, which allows them to effectively solve tasks at an unhurried pace. This pace is deeply rational in nature.

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert)

EGO (+Fe! -> +Si?). Perception of the world is fundamentally emotional. Feels the emotional atmosphere well in any situation, knows the relevance of the way of expression, the place and weight (importance) of the internal state in each situation. Flexible approach to solving problems of managing and expressing emotions. They show bright emotionality both negative and positive. Creatively produces around themself comfort, coziness, conveniently arranges space, surrounds others with beautiful things, changing thereby the general condition and mood. Usually opinionated about their tastes.

(wow i really went all out on that this one that tumblr wont even display it in full resolution, so here. john just has so many more lines to choose from, sorry!)

Super-EGO (+Te! -> +Ni?). Practical and technological thinking is tightly based on acquired knowledge and patterns of solving similar problems. Methods of business activity in both general and specific areas are selected based on the opinion of reputable sources, or adjusted to one of the mastered templates. Predicting specific changes in the sphere of their interests is carried out only on the basis of personal experience. He is not able to compare his own method of forecasting with others, so he is sensitive to criticism of poor timing or deadlines, does not like situations that feel like a waste of his time; he is lost in connection with negative events. Guided by purely personal experience, he chooses specific times and deadlines for various tasks with a normative understanding of business activity in general.

Super-ID (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Attracts information about the order, specific logical relationships in the field of activity or interests. Needs someone to suggest specific ways to make connections between phenomena, patterns, and rules. Tries to be reasonable himself, even though he knows that this is not characteristic of him. Sometimes he openly talks of his actions that were poorly reasoned through, as if inviting other people to laugh at his thoughtlessness. The ordering and systematization of thought opens up a new way of understanding of events that are happening around him, as well as new prospects, potential, and capabilities. He likes to think that he understands the essence of a situation and lights up with new ideas. This skill needs to be evaluated. It is unconsciously activated when it is necessary to create order, clear consistency and clarity on a particular issue, especially if their abilities are recognized.

ID (-Fi? -> -Se!). Involuntarily keeps track of communications in their social circle. Without hesitation, they use a variety of ways to establish and maintain relationships that have been developed in his personal practice. Good relationships are important for personal inner confidence in a situation. To prevent unfavorable relationships, they are inclined, often without even realizing it, to act with pressure, forcing a showdown, forcing the partner to change the relationship for the better. Frequently demonstrates his resoluteness, persistence, and purposefulness, as if proposing his behavior as a model for imitation. Usually tells in much detail what obstacles were created before him, and how he overcame them, what he was told in response, and what he replied with, and so on and in the like.

(full res)

you might be able to see already how they would complement each other's thought process nicely. here are some descriptions of what the communication between these types is like:

+Fe! : program function of ESE and dual-seeking function of LII

The ESE periodically tells emotionally charged "program" function stories, telling of how somebody has acted and what they have done. The main orientation of ESE's leading ethical program is: "No one should be offended." The LII carefully listens to these statements, and, demonstrating a full understanding of these issues, develops logical basis for them, e.g. in calm persuasive voice he explains how the ESE has acted justly and fairly. The effusion of turbulent emotions coming from the ESE is counterbalanced by their absorption by the LII, who breaks them down into fragments by asking clarifying questions of the ESE.

-Ti? : dual-seeking function of ESE and program function of LII

The ESE is tuned to accepting information when it's relayed in clear logical form. He issues requests for logical explanations delivered from a point of view of generalized rules underpinning specific life events, which he receives from the LII, who delivers clear unambiguous interpretations, places the dots over all "i's", and demonstrates good understanding of problems that are of concern to the ESE. Not receiving information of this kind, the ESE begins making demands of those around him to be "intelligent" and understand the reasons of his actions.

-Ne! : activating function of ESE and creative function of LII

The ESE feels uncomfortable if he doesn't extend his help to people who are in need of it. His subconscious orientation is: "care and guard the talented", be kind and attentive towards other people. The LII usually meets such criteria by proving in action his aptitude at uncovering hidden capabilities, winning trust, passing on the knowledge. The ESE creates supportive conditions for people who are capable but lacking in assertive "push-through" qualities, among whom the LII finds himself, and a special work regime that protects such individuals from overloads on sensing functions. Newly discovered possibilities inspire and promote the pragmatic and business-oriented activities of the ESE. He can support a new undertaking or initiative with an enormous amount of energy and enthusiasm, light up by new ideas. Only the LII is able to, even having a vague general notion about the subject, construct a developed theory or idea of any issue. This theory shows to be promising in the process of its concrete application within its field.

+Si? : creative function of ESE and activating function of LII

LII tries to take care of their well-being, but may gravitate towards demonstrative asceticism, exhaust himself with work, studies, or exercise. The ESE periodically takes care of creating an environment that "charges" the LII with pleasant sensations: a reception of guests, a good meal, a visit to a theater or a concert, an interesting trip, and so on. At the same time the ESE takes pleasure in this himself.

+Te! : role function of ESE and observing function of LII

The role function of the ESE manifests as business-oriented activity and initiative, supplying interesting information, provision with material assistance to those who are in need, general restlessness and fussy busyness. This function is normative, i.e. the ESE seeks to comply with the norms and accepted ways of doing things. The nuancing of the understanding of these norms, i.e. introduction of activities that go beyond them, is possible only by considering LII's advice and recommendations. The LII serves as a director of this function, adjusting its workings by advocating the necessity of practical application of some beneficial ideas, rejection of useless though spectacular ideas, and the need to ensure standards of life not below average by rejection of equalization.

+Ni? : vulnerable function of ESE and demonstrative function of LII

The ESE poorly feels the flow of time, both physical, which manifests as running late and poor distribution of his strengths over time, and historical, which manifests as poor ability to anticipate consequences of actions and tendency for traditional ways of solving problems. The ESE finds it difficult to make radical choices. The LII fully takes this aspect onto his shoulders. He has an unconscious ability to distribute activities in time, thereby avoiding work stress and overloads, and is capable of making a radical choice. The LII is able to calmly wait and in the necessary moment get to work when the wasteful fussiness of the ESE reaches its critical point.

-Fi? : ignoring function of ESE and role function of LII

On this function the ESE gives advice and makes demands concerning the creation of appropriate psychological distances in form of proper behavior, courtesy and politeness, denouncing rudeness and boorishness. In this manner, the ESE adjusts LII's role function, which in itself contains a set of large psychological distances: a sullen stubborn look, unsociability, etc. With such fine-tuning it becomes easier for the LII to come into contact with people, whereby he becomes more animated, resolves many of his ethical problems that previously frightened him, gains greater insight into human relationships and a more accurate understanding as to whose side to take in situations of conflict.

-Se! : demonstrative function of ESE and vulnerable function of LII

The LII finds it very difficult to exert pressure on other people from his own will and initiative, especially in cases when he needs to attain something for himself. He finds this difficult to do - to press ahead in certain situations, to gather all the required paperwork, to stand in lines and queues, to petition for his own interests, even the ones that are of vital importance to him. He finds it difficult to push a person away, to sharply refuse someone, to quarrel loudly and defend his rights, to put an end to relations that have exhausted themselves. The ESE doesn't directly affect this function, i.e. he doesn't verbally criticize and teach the LII on this aspect, but takes over its functioning completely. The ESE exerts a constant, sometimes intrusive and imposing pressure on other people if there is a need to achieve something, to defend justice and demand fair treatment, to protect interests of those who are close and dear to him. The ESE goes to the right jurisdictions, inspires people around him and directs them towards work and purposeful activity, keeps up a high pace of life himself, and breaks off relations with those who don't deserve trust.

and some miscellaneous excerpts from literature i liked a lot. (i can't remember the sources i used since i've been working on this on and off, for the past week and i was just spilling things onto the post. i think stratiyevskaya?):

Mood - that’s what matters in this dyad - emotions and feelings. Anything that suppresses and overshadows good mood is considered unethical in this dyad and is strongly condemned.

The ESE does not allow the LII to limit him in the possibilities of consuming the amount of pleasures and joys, which he considers to be necessary and sufficient. Fortunately, both partners in the dyad - LII and ESE - are obstinate and unyielding. Both are demanding, unwilling (and not allowing anyone else) to lower the bar of their requirements, unable to give in and make concessions (especially in anything that is of principle for themselves). Both know how to make their partner reckon with their interests and insist on the fulfillment of their demands.

LII is impressed by the emotional generosity of ESE and his spiritual responsiveness. All this finds the deepest understanding in LII, since he is tuned to the same priorities and values. For his part, ESE admires the ability of LII to speak clearly and definitely on every issue. ESE is struck by the harmony of the reasoning of LII, the amazing clarity, accuracy and laconicism of his statements. To ESE it seems that for LII, there is nothing incomprehensible in this world; he can give a comprehensive explanation on every issue. And everything that ESE thought about before is gradually being built into a definite and clear system of views, which he can now very freely and naturally present. Confusion and chaos in his worldview gradually gives way to a stable logical order, as if someone patient and careful was sorting all his thoughts into shelves. Such clarity inspires and activates ESE; he begins to see some prospects for himself, new opportunities. His energy and activity, in addition to emotional and ethical expression, also receives sensory realization: ESE begins to take care of LII and carefully looks after him. If LII is a colleague with whom ESE is especially pleasant to communicate with, he begins to treat him with something tasty, homemade; will make some small, but beautiful and necessary gift (for example: new cologne or a warm scarf).

> okay that's great and all but when are we talking about john and aradia specifically?

yes, that was the point of this post. i just had to build all that up first so i could walk you through my thoughts in a fully substantiated way.

considering chronology of wind again, john doesnt realize it but he needs aradias frankness and insight. even if she’s unable to explicate on vague things, she states the reason why instead of making him feel stupid (it would create a doomed timeline) but thats all john needs to hear. she is self-effacing and only tells him the truth, and we know other people can take advantage of john’s suggestibility in this way. aradia tells john who is or isnt trustworthy, what actions would be useful/necessary and which ones wont, without any selfish personal motive a la vriska or terezi.

^ (juuuust the record my nitpicky ass doesn’t agree with the truth of the classpect interpretation on behalf of the author in the last bit BUT that is beside the point here. the point is that she is answering john’s question in a way that is meaningful for him)

aradia doesnt realize it but she needs john’s friendy goofiness to brighten her up because she is surrounded by people who antagonize her when she’s literally not even trying to get under anyones skin. everybody gets frustrated at her “spooky nonsense” because theyre afraid of their own mortality, basically telling her to put a lid on it because thinking about hard truths makes THEM personally uncomfortable. but to her it’s always just been a fact of life. plugging your ears to reality is ignorance, but at the same time that doesn’t mean there’s no meaning in anything. she wants to help people see this and she dedicates herself to becoming a psychopomp for the deceased and earnestly trying to make people feel emotionally and physically comfortable in their situation through exploring their memories.

john isn’t hostile towards her. by being herself she is immediately able to earn john’s trust when they initially talk. this is also true in canon; the one time they talked when john initially comes up to her, saying “can i ask you something? seem reasonable, and pretty nice.” unfortunately he asked her the one question she didn’t have much to say about, and i can’t blame him for expecting all the troll girls to be basically insane at that point. but i don’t think aradia is insane. yes she is odd, but i think it’s evident that she has a good head on her shoulders with knowledge of the way the universe around her works, and in the end wants to simply bask in watching it play out. i think she deserves to get childishly excited about it, especially considering she was dead for most of her developmental years.

aside from getting his answers answered, john shows curiosity about her and her species and even care about her well-being and state. this naturally comes from their conversation’s ebb and flow. aradia tells this straightforwardly, without bells and whistles and without trying to trick him, unlike the other trolls who seem keen on well..trolling him.. and providing him with unclear answers to those sorts things. maybe aside from vriska, but she did have a little bit of an attitude about it wherein her and john’s dynamic felt uneven or off-rhythm, with a large psychological distance. it’s a different feeling with aradia, however. they exchange information on the same rhythm and so are able to achieve a closer psychological distance in communication.

there are no judgments coming from aradia about john being “stupid”. she doesn’t underestimate him. it’s not just that john wants to understand (although he does), but he needs to understand what he is doing. aradia compliments john about the traits he possesses that allow him to be effective. i guess in a way i’m doing the same thing with john right now.

john is so mobile and strung along by being the action hero going from place to place as a can-do deliveryboy that he never has time to reflect on his losses, think through them, and accept them.

literally who else is more qualified in all of homestuck than aradia for talking to john about these things?

on top of all of this, they have objectively significant connections beyond just mutual self-realization in a way i think could've been fleshed out. there is potential here.

for a story, i can think of a way that a conversation between them could plausibly happen using the systems established in homestuck's mythology. in canon, we see that john never met aradia until year 3 on the golden battleship in the dream bubbles when he goes to sleep.

but john still dreamt out in the furthest ring. that means during those 3 years it was possible for john to have had a dream with her in it, or at least aradiabot. i know john didn't know aradia's name beforehand but let's just explore the possibility that they could have had met before that. remember that all these aradiabots were once this person.

aradia had obtained john's crosbytop, his dads hat, and his wallet quite a while before their sgrub session. theres your entry

imagine john seeing that

memories of dear old dad get stirred up through the link of seeing those items

the dream bubble transforms

john is forced to stand in his memories and explore grief and the meaning of life with aradia

physically being in the space around him would definitely help john reflect easier i think because it will force him to actually exist within the space and talk to someone, taking some time out for this. he wanted to know if anything could've been done or if he was just too late to save them. i know aradia would be able help him slow down and introspect. don't forget the opportunities created by the properties of these spaces that are glubbed out in the furthest ring by the horrorterrors that meld the labyrinthine time and space of their surroundings to the memories of the people and finding others through common points in memory. i would imagine that objects known by multiple people would provide a common point in memory to bring them together.

The bubbles allow the players of Sburb/Sgrub who have lost a life to continue dreaming. The reality constructed in the bubbles is a combination of the memories of everyone inside the bubble accessible to any who has learned the bubble's nature. According to Aradia, it would be quite difficult to exit a bubble to get into a new one, however someone inside a bubble can travel to another one through common points in memory, taking their own memories with them to be integrated into the new bubble. These memories mix and combine, but in general, no new memories are created. Additionally, the bubbles store the consciousness of a player who has lost their dream selves and their original selves, making them double as a form of afterlife; the player is then capable of accessing the memory of anyone else who has gained access to the bubbles. Living players, who have lost or become their dream selves, appear in the dream bubbles when they are asleep. It is in this fashion that the bubbles can be used as meeting places between the dead and the living; even those from alternate universes and doomed timelines can be found in a bubble. Furthermore, in addition to memories, the bubbles can to some extent reflect the thoughts of a player. Beyond that, the bubbles can also behave similarly to Skaia's clouds, showing things that are in some way relevant to the player - such as when coin-flip Dave saw alpha Dave grieving over Bro's corpse - something he was not aware of before being shown it by a bubble.

physically reflect the thoughts of the player…… rubs hands

john and aradia share points in memory related to those objects, and to top it all of they are directly related to john's dad on the same day he died, while aradia grew up with them as bizarre alien artifacts from an archeological dig. the memories are more emotionally charged for john, and i think that distinction would probably be relevant to them both.

to be honest i think after speaking with him for a bit she would readily tell john that she regrets not talking to the kids from the universe her team created sooner before she died, but is glad that she can in the afterlife. in canon, alpha aradia told a doomed dave, "i think its absurd i never introduced myself to you in all that time i spent moping around the lab. guess i wasnt in a very good mood".

now not all the aradiabots would know who john is, because the trolls only found out about the humans once they created the genesis frog and hid out in the lab in the veil from jack who infiltrated their session. the aradiabot in the lab was the last one that survived. so if any one of them would know who john is, it would be the aradiabot that exploded. aradia's dream self ascended to god tier in jack noir's rampage on trolls' derse and took those memories with her which we can assume is what made the last aradiabot explode. its known that any original copy that dies when another rises up becomes a ghost and lives on in the dream bubbles, which would include her. a doomed aradiabot we see in the comic, which was the one that originally landed to alternia in the past, becomes more lighthearted after she dies, a bit more like her alive counterpart.

oh yeah, and the more obvious surface-level connections to top it off? ghostbusters? john ain't afraid of no ghost girl. john would be genuinely interested in what aradia living as a ghost irl on her planet and not as a gaming abstraction in the furthest ring would be like. i imagine she would be able to explain the subjective experience and that she had to prototype herself into the kernelsprite order for her server player to see her. there's also no way john hasn't seen a movie as classic as indiana jones and judging from her poster i can imagine he probably thinks it's sweet that aradia's strife specibus whipkind is a reflection of her own personal tastes, interests and hobbies.

so yeah i've just been chewing on all of this and thinking about it but i know i needed to just get this out there somehow. obviously since i spent two weeks putting this post together i'd be happy to hear your thoughts

[the-s1lly-corner]

jax with an s/o who is sweet n kind to everyone, handles jax’s bullshit,,,

until one day, one of his pranks just causes them to lose their temper and lash out 🤔??

or like a jax x reader who has anger issues ykyk

Jax x sweet!reader finally snapping

was gonna write this last night but i wanted to draw + im still having some stomach issues that (at least for now) have calmed down a little so!! think imma write this and one more thing then imma get right back to working on art written with you guys already having a good relationship established, can be read as platonic or romantic!

jax doesnt really know when to stop, and when he does he tends to double down because he thinks most of the stuff he does isnt that serious

that in of itself is an issue, since it leads to some conflict between him and other circus members

and today, for the first time youve finally reached your limit

be it jax just being in a pestering mood and you already being overwhelmed from being in the circus; or he took one of his pranks too far with you and ended with hurt feelings.. i think either are likely! maybe even both, the combination pushing you over the edge?

kind of visibly jolts a little when you whip around to look at him, probably also telling him off... eyes wide, maybe his shoulders are a little hunched up in surprise

i mean you usually let his bullshit just roll off of you, and youve never raised your voice at anyone in the circus. ever... so this was definitely new to him

usually, if this were anyone else he might egg the other person on; theres only few exceptions to that.. but i dont think hed be able to bring himself to do it mostly out of shock that you finally got fed up with him

once you two are separated he might spend some time trying to dismiss his guilty feelings and try to mentally frame it as you taking something too hard

again, not the best thing, but jax doesnt seem to be the most mature out of the cast

but i think over time (and after being berated by ragatha for his actions) hes going to admit that he really messed things up, so he might try to patch things over with you

if ragatha getting on his case doesnt push him to fix things, you avoiding him is going to really do it

hes not going to just. not be an asshole overnight, thats going to take time, but i do think it would be obvious that hes trying to not piss you off again.. you can definitely tell hes struggling a bit

i think word would get out about what happened so you two are gonna have fun with that gossip and people sticking their nose in your business, ect ect ect

i dont think he would outright apologize, at least not verbally.. but he will show it in his actions; doing stuff for you that he wouldnt normally do for others like doing some favors for you as well offering you things he knows you like. stuff like that, you know?

[anonymous-eggy]

Quest with an artist Mc

bc i cant stop thinking ab himb....

i wrote this very impulsively so. yeah. theres a bit of horny towards the end, but theres also fluffy sweet things

• he learns of you being an artist when you find the time to create bloomic fanart.

• and you got endless showers of praise from him on how good it was (especially if the fanart included Xander)

• he just thinks its so neat. his artistic expression of choice is poetry, so he's not much of an artist when it comes to drawing.

• he can draw some basic flowers, but thats where his talents end.

• no matter your usual art media, buy gold (body safe) paint and paint his scars. kind of like how you paint the cracks of repaired pottery and such? except make it a vulnerable bonding experience.

• he has many scars all around his body from past accidents and gang related violence.

• i feel like he gets really insecure about them sometimes and worries theyll make you think too much about his past

• but seeing you turn them into something golden and beautiful with such ease and affection... gives him a new appreciation for those parts of him.

• he loves it even more when you connect nearby scars like intricate rivers of gold flowing across his body.

• make sure you fill the comfortable silence with lovely soft words of affirmation and kisses every now and then for the best results.

• absolutely call him your golden boy.

• the only issue is that he feels really bad for having to eventually wash them off.

• so take pictures and send them to him for just you two to hold onto ;)

• despite feeling bad about washing them off, he always feels so much better about his scars and body.

• and let him know this is exactly how you see his scars <3

• i feel like during times when you're not able to paint on him because of a late shift or something, he just looks back at the pictures and replays the soft memories for comfort.

• this is more towards the beginning of your relationship with him, when his insecurities about his past bothering you were the worst

• moving on from that, he is the perfect man to reference.

• he would find it so very funny if you ever complained about parts of him that are hard to draw.

• i could imagine just sitting there watching him work out and just... drawing the way his muscles flex and the way his body bends... dear lord those thighs...

• when you first did this, he immediately noticed. he didnt quite have the courage to ask if you were drawing him (after all, forms of art are very personal things)

• but when he sees you're staring at the sketchbook page more than him, he decides to take a break and ask you.

• not because he's getting jealous of the notebook. hes not a jealous person. the curiosity just takes over because the stares mean you're stuck on smthn or you're finished.

• and boy is he beyond flattered. flustered even.

• he's never really... thought much about himself. physically and mentally. so the fact that he's worth being sketched touches his very soul.

• if you're the type of artist who loves gushing over defined shapes and begin to ramble about the shapes that you love about him, his cheeks will be red and he will patiently listen to every word you have to say.

• as weird as it is to listen to someone describe his physical features with such passion, there's something special about the way you talk about it.

• especially if you suddenly realize what you're saying and get flustered.

• he likes feeling like art when its you. he loves the way you map out his body and turn the shapes of him into strokes of graphite poetry.

• .... he wouldnt mind if you drew him suggestively as well... so long as its for your eyes and his eyes only...

• of course there would be teasing about just how much you seem to adore his body, but never in a way that deters you from sketching him more.

• which, knowing Quest, his teasing quickly veers into horny territory. at the very least deep kisses.

• he says he just want to "give you more inspiration" and that "its his job as your muse"

• he definitely develops a fixation on your hands specifically. the way your hands trace his body delicately as if trying to memorize every line of him while making out with him on his lap.

• it absolutely drives him insane.

• the way his large hands encircle your wrist while his fingers press on your palms in bed. or when his fingers tangle with yours. and he can see you looking at it. memorizing every moment of it. of him. of the emotions tied to the image.

• that part he loves the most about your art. the pure emotion of it captured so perfectly

• oh yeah it definitely awakens something in him. especially if he finds you sketching those the next day peacfully at your desk.

• honestly i think you being an artist just changes the way he sees things. in the best of ways.

• he also finds himself massaging your hands absent mindedly while cuddling. and softly kissing them... they work so hard and he wants to take care of them for you.

• he is just so very happy to be your favorite muse.

~sigh. time to make a Blooming Panic section on my masterlist...

[upsidedownmvnson]

hi!!! i love your writing and if you have the time and patience can i request ANGSTTwith our lover boy eddie? maybe something along the lines of a girl who doesn’t seem like eddie’s “type” (more of an R&B kinda gal) but miscommunication for the win hehe. or if u have any other angsty ideas, please :) xx

idk anything about R&B and usually i just do light research and then do it anyway but i just feel like i have no grasp and don't want it to seem painfully inauthentic - so instead here is eddies girl who is a non-descript different aesthetic / different taste in music girliiiieeeee

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"c'mon," eddie said, knocking on the door to your bedroom again.

you two had been alone in your house, and were just listening to music, when eddie had started laughing at your choice in song. it made you feel shitty, but you moved on. then he did it again. and again. any song that played made you feel like a punchline.

"c'mon" he whined, "please let me in."

you clutched your knees tighter to your chest, cursing eddie's painfully high tolerance for patience when it came to you. he wasn't leaving, and you knew that, and he knew you knew that. so really, you may as well have opened the door. but that's not the point. the principle of the matter is that he shouldn't be laughing at you. you thought he would be the last person in the whole world to judge you for your taste in music.

"it's not fair to get mad and then lock me out of your room," he said, "can you at least tell me what i did? i thought we were having fun."

and ooou... that just pissed you off more. you took a few powerful strides across the room and yanked the door open, dodging eddie as he fell into the room, having been leaning against the door.

"you were having fun," you said, crossing your arms. eddie picked himself off the floor, pouting at your answer. "and you were making fun of me."

"i was not."

"you were. any song i like you just, you laugh." you shrugged off his hand when he tried to touch you. "it's not funny, it's mean. and you should know how mean it is."

"no, no no no..." eddie tried again to touch you, but you kept your distance. "i wasn't laughing at you." you rolled your eyes. "really, i wasnt! i swear."

"then what was so funny about the music i picked, huh?" you wearily let him take a step closer, and eyed one of his hands as he gently grabbed your biceps.

"i wasn't laughing at that, at all." eddie looked around the room. "i just... it's kind of funny, right? look at me. look at your room. i look like i was cut out of one magazine and glued into another."

you looked at him, and the room. "you made me insecure."

"i would never, ever judge you for anything you liked." he smiled softly, his sincere words helping breakdown your hurt feelings. "seriously, baby, i wouldnt. i like that you enjoy what you do. the sexiest thing you can be is yourself."

"don't laugh at my music anymore," you whispered, and eddie nodded, pulling you in for a hug. he held you tightly, rubbing your back.

"never again."

[woncherie]

anon: Saw you were taking requests. May I request a little something for My Hero Academia? Maybe something with Aizawa having a crush on a fellow teacher, and Present Mic teasing him a bit about it? Thank you very much!

Reader: Gender Neutral

Requests are open!!

Aizawa having a crush on a teacher

Listen. Aizawa may come off as cold and apathetic, but that doesnt mean he doesnt have a heart. he has a big one, he just doesnt want to give it away easily.

Aizawa is not one to fall for someone the second he sees them. It takes him a lot of time, especially in noticing that he actually is interested in someone. He needs to know what kind of person they are before even thinking about starting a relationship with anyone.

But how is he supposed to not fall for you? The first time his heart skipped a beat was when he saw how caring you are towards your students, trying your best to encourage them and getting the best out of them. You seem like you genuinely enjoy teaching the kids, and he cant help but smile a little, hiding half of his face in his scarf.

He probably didnt even realise he liked you, it was Present Mic who caught him looking at you a few seconds longer than usually.

listen. No one else would have been able to tell that he m i g h t like someone, no one other than Mic Sensei. They know each other for ages now, and Hitachi notices every single change in Aizawa after spending so much time together.

Of course he has to bully him about his crush. What friend would he be if he didnt?

"And?" Hitachi asks him, bumping Aizawa in the stomach with his elbow when you walked past them, sending both men a smile and then continuing with your day.

"And what?" He asks, his hands deep in his pocket, face hiding in his scarf and looking as fatigue as usual.

"Stop acting as if you dont know what i'm talking about."

Aizawa rolled his eyes and huffed, knowing exactly what he means. He just doesnt want to talk about it, nor does he want Present Mic to interfere. If he knew that he liked you, it wouldnt take long for you to know too.

"Oh Come on, are you ever gonna invite them somewhere after school? Do you want to spend the rest of your life alone in here without even trying once? Did you try talking to th-?"

"Yes." He cut him off, trying to keep this conversation as short as possible.

You two talked a lot, especially since you are working as a teacher, taking care of class 1C. Well.. "talking".

He would be deep in his thoughts, thinking about what to say without scaring you off. And he is incredibly bad at keeping a conversation going between the two of you, killing it midway because he doesnt know what to say. He is just not skilled with words.

"Want me to be your wingman?"

"NO."

☆☆☆

[roseworth]

You are both an Arrowfamily and Jason Todd fan account so I thought you would be the best person to ask this but: What do you think the Arrowfamily members opinion on Jason are?

ooooh i love this question.. i think a lot of people jump straight to "they would hate him" because of his fight with mia but!!! i don't think thats entirely true!!!!! some of them would hate him but not all of them </3 i feel like the people that claim they would all hate him have a fundamental misunderstanding of the arrows and what they stand for, not to mention deliberately misconstruing what the the jason & mia fight actually was and pretending it was a lot worse than what actually happened. but thats just my opinion

ollie absolutely would hate him though lmao. he would never get over the fact that jason kidnapped, fought, & tried to blow up his daughter. no forgiveness ever. if jason HADNT fought mia though i think ollie would like him or at the very least tolerate him. ollie very clearly has no issue with murdering bad guys (as seen in ga88) and would be completely on board with anyone who goes out of his way to fuck with batman constantly <3 also in my humble opinion ollie shouldve been a cosmic mistake in countdown due to him coming back to life because parallax put him back together, which would have been hilarious and would absolutely have ended in them getting along (until jason goes through like his fifth breakdown in that book, because he would absolutely lash out at ollie after watching that one version of bruce die. but thats a whole separate tangent)

dinah also would hate him for trying to kill mia, but probably not as intensely as ollie. but even without that issue i dont think dinah would like him, mostly because hes the worst and i dont think dinah would have the patience to put up with him. she wouldnt have a huge problem with the killing (she wouldnt NOT have a problem with it but i really dont think it would be an unforgivable issue for her), but she would just think hes kind of an asshole about it and she wouldnt like him at all. i also think theres a panel somewhere where jason says that dinah told him she hates him personally?? idk ive only seen screenshots of it but i think its funny so im incorporating it into my belief system

with roy... i feel like there are so many people that see rhato and swing to the opposite side of the pendulum and say that roy would hate jason but i dont think thats true at all. im a rhato hater because that is Not Roy so we're disregarding that, but i still think they would get along tbh! given that roy is deeply in love with a serial killer i think that the people who say he would hate jason are misunderstanding who roy is. i think when theyre both in character they actually have personalities that would mesh well together and they COULD get along really well. i dont see roy having a Big Problem with jason killing people (he would try to stop him from doing it but murder wouldnt be a dealbreaker for roy) so i think its fair to say they would actually get along!!! but i bitch and complain every time they show up in the same panel because now the damage has been done from rhato so i dont want them to interact in canon. only in the secret world in my head. in regards to jason fighting mia, i dont know how to say it but,,, i dont think roy would have a huge issue with it. he certainly wouldnt be happy about it but also he wasnt there so i feel like all he would know about it was that jason kidnapped mia one time but mia was fine. honestly i think that he would be more interested in brothers in blood bc dick would def mention that jason murdered people in a nightwing costume then turned into a tentacle monster and tried to eat someone but dick forgave him anyway. and once he hears that suddenly the mia thing seems inconsequential in comparison

with connor... i cant lie im a little biased because connor is a member of my dream outlaws team but i really think they would at least kind of get along! connor is not the type of person to hold a grudge at all so once mia forgives him (which ill get into in a sec) connor wouldnt have a problem with him. he WOULD have a problem with jason killing people but he's close with eddie so clearly he doesnt have that much of an issue with working with people who have killed before as long as they dont kill in front of him. and i think that jason has a healthy respect for anyone who can beat him in a fight and because of that he would not kill anyone when hes around connor. i also think that connor and jason would never fight because connor would never throw the first punch and jason would never start a fight that he knows he cant win (but thats once again a whole separate tangent). basically i dont think they'd be besties or anything, i dont think theres a world where they'd ever even consider themselves friends. but i do think they'd get along well enough to not hate each other

okay now finally mia. kind of a controversial take but i really think she'd forgive him for kidnapping her! she absolutely would not forgive him IMMEDIATELY because it fucked her up so she would be pissed about it for a while, but also? i think she completely understood what he was trying to do. he wasnt really hurting her specifically (like yeah he hurt her but he made it a fair fight and he wasnt beating down on her or anything. she also hit him so it evens out) and he was actually trying to talk TO her and relate to her. and it was working!!! he didnt force her to do anything except fight (in a fight where he untied her and gave her her weapons), so once she got some distance from the event i think she'd forgive him. it would take a while for her to actually forgive him enough for them to actually get along, but i genuinely think they would. theyre extremely similar people and i think they would really be good friends if given the chance, but it would take a looooong time for mia to be comfortable enough to be around him enough to consider him a friend since the fight definitely fucked her up. but it is possible for them to eventually be close, and i think they could be really good friends

honorable mentions: - i dont know emiko well enough to know for sure (i havent read new52 or rebirth green arrow so i havent read much with her </3) but from what i know i think they would get along - lian would have no opinion of him whatsoever. at most she sees him as her uncle's brother. i truly dont think she'd care enough about him to form a positive or negative opinion about him - i dont like sienna so i dont want to acknowledge her but for the sake of the post. she doesnt like jason because dinah doesnt like jason and she says "i hate everyone that black canary hates <3" - cissie is not a member of the arrowfamily but she wouldnt like him because she absolutely would have an issue with any murderous vigilante given that she almost killed someone one time and had a huge breakdown, so anyone that kills people for the Greater Good and continues to do so would not sit right with her - i have absolutely no basis for this but shado would hate him for no reason. no specific beef with him about his morals or his actions, she just wouldnt like his vibes. sorry to talk about rose (no im not) but she would see rose hanging out with jason and go "im so happy for you and your ugly fucking boyfriend im serious" - eddie and jason would get along like a housefire. there is not a doubt in my mind that they would bond instantly (ok not instantly because they both hate everyone and would probably start with trying fight each other. THEN they would bond) and it would be catastrophic for everyone involved 🫶

ok i think thats everyone. or at least everyone that matters. never forget that all my opinions are 100% correct at all times

[pvssychicken]

Water Fountain

Pairings: Nick x Male!oc

Summary: Nick waited for the love of his life, but the love of his life didnt wait for him.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, jealousy, swearing.

I should've built a home with a fountian for us,

the moment that she told me that she was in love

too young

i was too young

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She told me that she loved me by the water fountain She told me that she loved me and she didn't love him And that was really lovely 'cause it was innocent ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Nicky, I promise, I dont love her. Not like i love you."

We only saw each other by the water fountian, but we were still best friends. I didnt know what love felt like, but i still knew i loved him. Even though we were in fourth grade, I still planned our future together, i thought he was the love of my life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's getting kind of blurry at a quarter-past-ten And he was in a hurry to be touching her skin She's feeling kind of dirty when she's dancing with him Forgetting what she told me by the water fountain

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I watch from across the room as he talks to her. I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. I see the way he looks at her, the way he touches her.

Nick, youre being stupid, I think to myself, we were in fourth grade, that promise meant nothing. Max is into girls, not you.

We still were friends, but it was like he had forgotten what he promised me by the water fountain that day. To him, it was like i was just one of the bros.

I slam my cup down and wipe the tears from my eyes. The last thing i needed was for someone to see me crying. Nobody knows how I feel about him, not even Matt or Chris, I dont want to seem weak, falling for a guy who told me he loved me in fourth grade.

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I should've built a home with a fountain for us The moment that she told me that she was in love Too young I was too young

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish i would've done something, I shouldve told him that i felt the same. Maybe then, I wouldnt be trying to hold back my tears as i watch him making out with a girl across the room. But at the time, i didnt undertstand, I didnt understand that what i was feeing was love.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And if she ever goes back to the water fountain The handle will be broken and the rust set in ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three months later

I tried, i really tried to get over him. Every time he came up in my thoughts, i would force myself to think about whoever i was dating at the time, telling myself that I really loved them instead.

But those never lasted long, they figured out that I never truly loved them. I felt bad, but I just couldnt help it.

I also tried to distance myself from Max. Instead of sitting next to him at lunch, i would sit at another table with my other friends, I tried not to show how much it hurt me, but luckily, nobody noticed it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But my hand, it will be open and I'll try to fix it My heart, it will be open and I'll try to give it

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I open the door to see max standing there.

"Max, w-what are you doing here?"

He takes a step towards me and looks me in my eyes.

"Nick, did i do something wrong? You've been ignoring me, and im worried."

I feel my eyes start to water, and before I know it im sobbing and spillng my guts out to the person ive been in love with since fourth grade.

"Im so sorry max, i just couldnt take it anymore, I tried i really tried to not care, but i just fucking love you so fucking much, and i know its stupid because that promise you made me was in fourth grade and youre obviously not into guys, but ive fucking loved you since then. Im so fucking sorry, i know you have a girlfriend and you probably think im-"

I was cut off by Max grabbing my face and pressing his lips to mine.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now I'm grabbing her hips, and pulling her in Kissing her lips, and whispering in her ear And I know that it's only a wish And that we're not standing by the water fountain

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The kiss felt magical, the way his lips felt against mine, the way his hands moved down my body, finally settling on my hips, as i threw my arms around his neck.

"I love you too Nick," he whispered when we pulled apart "I always have, and I always will. I'm so sorry for not realizing it sooner."

I smiled and pulled his lips to mine again, knowing that i might never let go.

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A/n: Welp heres some fluff for yall. honestly idk how i feel about this one, please lmk what you think.

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Taglist (Reply here or dm me to be added

@flouvela @immattsslut @jamiesturniolo @baileysturns @yourmomsmysexslave

[pestorik]

can you please expand on deuce/riddle ??? im rlly curious abt them tgt in your AU,,,,

(if you have the time i would also love to read abt azurid & mallerid :D ! no pressure though! im mostly interested in deurid ^^)

the riddle ship trifecta...

i enjoy them bc i think riddle really needs a calm presence in his life that makes him feel like he can act in ways he never had the freedom to do before, without feeling judged or made fun of. whether that is acting childish and silly or just expressing emotion freely. he's obviously really sensitive to being teased so he needs someone who is ok with that and just finds joy in his joy.

i relate to this a lot bc i myself am a very sensitive person, and get emotional really easy but im also very cynical and dry, so i think ppl see that contrast and find it funny. which is fine, but i get hurt or annoyed really easily by teasing bc i think what i really want is for someone to see how easily i get emotional (like crying at almost every movie i watch) and rather than seeing it as smth weird and funny, they recognize my empathy as something good. i want someone to see the value and worth in my emotions, no matter how trivial they seem.

and i think riddle needs that too. deuce isnt super smart but i think he's really earnest and riddle would appreciate that about him. he shows a lot of self awareness in recognizing how his past actions hurt his mom, and realizing he needs to be proactive if he wants to be a better person. very few ppl are willing to admit when they are the problem. he's just a very soft guy, but like, passionately soft. he wants so bad to be good. and i think he would want so badly for riddle to be happy, it would become really important to him just like his mom's happiness.

malleus is super honest about his intentions, which i think riddle needs bc his lack of social skills leave him anxious. he probably would get too frustrated having to play games and guess feelings. malleus just has a super calming presence and riddle needs that so bad. i think they are both pretty awkward bc of their upbringing so maybe they could find comfort in each other, knowing there's no judgement.

azul is none of these things lol 😂 i do NOT think these 2 would be a perfect healthy couple but i enjoy their dynamic. riddle is sensitive ofc but hes also super smart which is why i like the thought of them together. the two top students, not really in a competitive way, more like they recognize each other's weaknesses but also highly respect each other. to the point that they wouldnt ever make a move against the other. i could see them having a more loving relationship but in my mind they are more like a power couple lmao. like two powerhouses joining forces. i do think seeing riddle trying to overcome his own trauma and be a nicer person could inspire azul to do smth similar, realizing that if he likes and respects riddle, there must be some value in kindness without reward.

none of these would be canon in the AT au unfortunately, at least not in my mind (you can do whatever you like with it tho, it also doesnt mean i wont still talk/draw about it). there would definitely still be interactions among them with plenty of room for interpretation. obviously the most between deuce and riddle bc they are both HL.

i could see an episode where riddle recruits deuce to help him repair one of the elephant guardians (since deuce is good at repairing stuff) and they become closer. bc deuce used to get up to a lot of trouble he also has a lot knowledge of some of the rougher parts of the kingdom (im referring to deuces former crew as the spoiled fruit gang) and probably accompanies riddle when he needs to go there. riddle might sometimes go to deuce for advice on his relationship w his mother, since deuce is close w his mom. it would be cute if deuces mom came to really adore riddle and gave him a lot of the experiences he didnt get w his own mother.

[becomingpotatoes]

finished the teal mask and oh boy do i have thoughts…

(SPOILERS FOR THE NEW DLC IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS PLS DO NOT READ)

god. kieran. kieran is so refreshing from a character perspective. kieran is like the anti-hop. it kind of feels like he’s the protagonist and we’re the classic jerk rival, doesn’t it? this guy clearly has Issues and i really like that, im enjoying this sort of “why can’t i beat you” rival trope that gamefreak’s been doing lately. they nearly did it with hop but with kieran they’re really going full in. the character arc that kieran went through in this dlc was actually difficult for me to watch, seeing this poor boy destroy himself mentally. the first time i battled him for the final time i actually lost, and i was hoping that he would get to keep ogerpon because altho shes cute and i adore her, i felt so bad. but ofc thats not the way the cookie crumbles. kieran is socially awkward, he doesn’t know how to communicate, and he’s never had a true friend. then florian/juliana comes along and suddenly there’s someone who seems to genuinely enjoy hanging out with him that isn’t, yknow, related to him. but then that person that he was so eager to trust goes along and begins befriending and helping a pokemon that hes adored all your life behind his back. i relate to kieran a lot and ofc yknow the absolute maniac arc hes about to go through is probably not healthy but i rlly hope this ends up being good for him. he idolized ogerpon because of how he related to her story, not because of the actual living creature she is. i wouldnt be surprised if it turns out he doesnt value his pokemon as actual living creatures either. i could see him being like a reverse silver, as he grows colder growing to not even care about his pokemon.

on the other hand, carmine! carmine was such a delight, i was genuinely not expecting to enjoy her as much as i did. sure, she also has Issues and has probably been a negative effect on her brother, but at the end of the day she is also just a kid. she probably has no idea what shes doing, and i dont think shed ever hurt kieran. she went through a lot of growth in the dlc and i can see her trying to become a better person with the help of florian/juliana and repairing her odd relationship with kieran.

also, it seems like she kind of has to play a parental role for kieran, as its implied that their parents arent around. thats another thing that separates kieran and carmine from siblings like hop and leon (and oh my god im just realizing all the parallels between hop and leon and kieran and carmine). its implied that the galar bros had a good childhood, and hops Issues dont start until hes set off on his journey and leon is a full adult with an actual life. with the kitakami siblings, if you read between the lines you can tell that theyve had a harder time growing up. with carmines comments on tourism and how it’s negatively effected their town and give her Trust Issues, that obviously fucked them both up a little, seeing that people only valued their hometown as an attraction, and that they themselves were a part of that attraction. and of course we dont know what the issue was with their parents. also, why are they going to school in unova? (side not oh my god it is so obvious that we’re going to get bw remakes in gen 9 or a legends unova game)

kitakami is such an interesting region. obviously its tiny, it has one town and then everything else is just untamed land. i feel like something Else is going on here. or maybe its just small idk

i love ogerpon a lot i think shes adorable and i love that we got to run around with her before she joined our team and it makes the whole “ten year old catches legendary thing” feel more realistic

also why are ogerpon and the loyal three legendaries i feel like they should be mythicals them being legendary feels Wrong

anyways these were my silly thoughts on the dlc and i hope kieran turns out to be the bb leagues champion (pulling a blue) and also i dont trust briar now time to finish my pokedex and talk to legends arceus pandering i mean perrin and if i see anyone call carmine a terrible person i will trade away your ev trained competitive team ok bye

(also this scene made me emotional)

[meanbossart]

I've been really enjoying your fic and it got me curious about how your campaign went??? I got the important parts (your Durge denied Bhaal, Shadowheart spared nightsong I think, Astarion obviously didn't ascend) but what else happened? Will we ever see any of the other companions?

Thanks for enjoying the story! I can say with pretty much certainty we won't be seeing any other canonical characters from the game, Jaheira, Minsc and Halsin would have stayed behind in Baldur's Gate, as well as Wyll. My Durge killed Lae'zel early in the game and Karlach also died at the end of my campaign.

Gale's character decided to go after the crown, and while he was the staple fourth member of my party the relationship had always been uh... Tense. This was before they apparently patched out how needy he was, but frankly it made for a really interesting story since i just kind of assumed his character was kind of a creep wearing a nice-guy's face. Also, to be fair, I DID fall for his "wanna see a magic trick" line but that just kindled the fire to my theory that he's actually a fairly manipulative person (and perhaps he's unaware of it). MIND YOU PLEASE that this doesn't mean i don't like his character - honestly i feel like I got a REALLY interesting side of him in my campaign and i wouldnt have it any other way - this was a party composed of the dark urge, Astarion, Shadowheart and GALE and to have us all turn down power and glory only for the goody-two-shoes wizard of the camp to turn kinda evil and power-hungry made for a really satisfying narrative.

... Sorry i ended up rambling about Gale LOL to actually answer the rest of your question, my campaign went like this:

I made a Fighter, champion sub-class, BIG hulking drow because i thought it would be funny. Because i went in blind I started off as a confused homicidal murderer who is a liiiittle weirded out about his urges but he doesnt stress TOO much about it. Is fairly standoffish and distrusting toward all of his companions which made for a weird start. Motivated by gold, killing things, getting this worm out his head and making off-color jokes. Ends up siding with the Tieflings because i also decided that, as a very hedonistic character who thinks we should be lunatics because we want to rather than because a cult is telling us to be, my durge would profoundly hate the absolute. As a male drow he also really hated Minthara so yeah, easy choice there. As mentioned above, I also killed Lae'zel when she tried to murder-suicide everybody.

I wasn't going to fuck anyone, believe it or not, so during the tiefling party i went with Gale because it SEEMED like he just wanted to show me something neat (it ended early because i failed his checks and i guess he can't get hard unless i can cast fireball). Also, at this point even though i made mostly "good" moral choices i *was* still a dick the whole time - despite this, everyone in camp wanted to fuck me BESIDES Astarion, which was so fucking funny and devastating that I decided my Durge would, from that moment on, turn on the charm and the flattery and make it his mission to bang him. So yes, they were manipulating each other. I don't have to explain why that made for a really really fun little dynamic. Also Astarion had to tell me he was a vampire through dialogue instead of biting me and i got to say "yeah duh" which was hysterical.

I finally banged him sometime during the underdark (didn't go to the creche at all) and during Act 2 I followed the same pattern of doing mostly the Good Thing while being arrogant the whole time, I fell into a kind of chaotic-neutral/true-neutral aligment and watched my little homicidal maniac cluelessly stumble his way into a hero's journey. I had also really grown to like Shadowheart at that point after having a really negative first impression of her character and she basically became my durge's best friend. Astarion also grew on me for all the reasons we know and love and he did his confession to me sometime in late act 2. I Never met Araj (though i think i mention her in the fan story only because her interaction is interesting) so I got the dialogue that isn't prompted by her encounter. I also had to "break up" with Gale at this point which boy that sure came as a surprise to me! I also didnt break the shadow curse.

Because I didnt kill isobel (Again, my guy didnt like people telling him what to do or not to do), my little butler guy made me wanna kill Astarion. I SWEAR this happened pretty late in game, maybe even in the first night in baldur's gate which i realize is unusual. Naturally I didnt and I decided that would be the turning point where my Durge decides to not just Go With The Flow of things but actively fight his urge and pursue its root cause. He tried to be more of a good person from that point on which was kind of a clumsy effort lol

He completely antagonized the emperor immediately upon him revealing his true identity, stole the orphic hammer from Raphael's house, betrayed Gortash after setting an "alliance" with him, killed Orin (she kidnapped the orphan and killed her in front of me because i failed the check :| ) stopped Astarion from ascending and helped Shadowheart kill everyone in the house of grief, i let her make her own choice regarding her parents and she decided to kill them. I also encouraged her to not immediately align with the Selunites just because of her past.

I got Astarion the thing that helps him read the necromancy book and i cannot tell you how satifyins it was that, after giving up unspeakable power by killing Cazador, that dude and his little ghoul army basically mauled Orin and her grandad for me practically by themselves while I was down on the floor with 1 health. PROUD OF YOU BUDDY.

Gale spoke to Mystra as well at some point and i swear I NEVER encouraged that guy to take the crown for himself. It was always either "do whatever you want" or "i think thats a shitty idea." At this point my Durge was super sick of him so they had a bit of a crappy relationship which may have something to do with how things turned out.

I betrayed the emperor, released Orpheus and when he asked if any of us wanted to be a mindflayer i went "Fuck No" big time and luckily the guy just did it for me. Chaos ensues, I kill the emperor and the absolute in an epic battle that took me like a whole day. I also killed Orpheus when he asked me to. Karlach died ( :c ) and Gale told me he was gonna fuck off to get the crown. In the final Astarion dialogue I told him we would find a way to get him to walk under the sun again.... AAAAAnd thats it i think? Man this game is huge lmao i swear i wasnt trying to be long-winded.

[mummer]

hellooooooo smart person!!! i have two asoiaf questions to ask you. so i was reading adwd, the chapter with ellaria sand making her big speech (can i take the skull to bed with me, to give me comfort in the night?) which was literally one of the best monologues ever. but i think it frames justice in a bitter, bloodthirsty manner. the martells are completely understandably pissed off by the lannisters, is george saying in this instance, even though vengeance is good (emotionally), it’ll screw everyone over? and does this apply to the starks/boltons too? we have so many good speeches on war and justice: broken man, this one, bathe in bolton blood, the mummer’s farce is almost over, etc. but they do conflict. is that the point? justice is better not pursued? or needs to be thought out?

ALSO. your vibe is that you’re a theon enjoyer. so i was wondering where his story is. it’s about identity, yes? but who is he? he’s not a greyjoy, i don’t think, he seems so disconnected from that violent culture, but he’s no stark. i think he wants a family, but the north will never accept him as a stark. so what’s theon’s purpose? i’m so sorry for talking so much but i always love your answers

ok ok ok. anon ily. i might answer the theon one in a separate post if i have time; im gonna try to be as brief as possible but i am gonna put this under a readmore because you touched on uhhh probably the central question of the whole series lol! in fact you could probably write a phd thesis about violence and justice in asoiaf lol, but lets see if i can boil it down quickly maybe not clickbait???? (i lied, this got egregiously long)

ok ok ok some disclaimers up front. I personally am probably a bigger pacifist than most people lol, so this may colour my take somewhat. secondly spoilers but my answer is that i dont think the series actually has a solid answer to the question of retribution/vengeance. my favourite kinds of art are pieces that ask questions that can't be answered. and: is violence ever acceptable? can it be used as a means to a good/just end? <- is like, a hugely unsettled matter in the entire human experience. this is a question we all ask ourselves at some point. it's even more complicated and tangled in real life! is the death penalty ever okay? how can we wage just wars? how do we protest subversively? can people be rehabilitated? even: can we change? that's what politics are all about! the q of violence is something i am constantly thinking about and am still unsure of my answers! most people are!

what asoiaf does so well is pick at the idea of violence in about a hundred different ways and though a hundred different lenses. not all violences are equal! of course not! it is very clear about this, as well as that said violence is not always physical, is most often institutional. and justice.... well justice is completely incoherent in this world!!! the first chapter opens with the protagonist executing a man we as readers KNOW did nothing morally wrong! the thing with asoiaf is that there is always an added nuance to challenge you when you think you've made up your mind. someone shows a glimmer of humanity, or else descends into unexpected cruelty, or else complicates the narrative. there is always a 'but'.

for example: take robb's war for ned. he is trying to avenge his father, save his sister. okay, that's noble. that's just. you want to root for that. BUT: their warpath endangers hundreds of thousands of smallfolk, not to mention the thousands of innocents in their armies forced to fight one another and die for the sake of one man. how could that be worth it? BUT: tywin's army was desolating the riverlands anyway, so wouldnt it be a net good to defeat them? BUT: protecting smallfolk was never their priority; their 'justice' is only for the highborn; politically, an independent north would probably not be any better or worse for the peasantry. a tree of hanging women who lay with lions. "the north remembers", when it's first used on page, is not a joyous rally; it's robb reflecting bitterly that harrion karstark cannot openly forgive him for killing rickard, or risk losing face. rickard, who was killed for killing lannisters, because the lannisters killed his sons-- because robb waged war, because the lannisters killed ned! a poisoned cycle that can't end, an ideology defined by war, remembrance and loyalty as its own sort of sickness.

the thing about violence as justice in asoiaf is that it is never portrayed as revelatory. it's not... like... cool lol. did tywin deserve to die? idk, maybe. but this does not lift a weight off tyrion's shoulders. it doesn't feel like he won. this is something all characters must bear and grapple with. arya in particular is rich with this and that could be its own essay ofc. at its simplest, though, we have sandor. he killed her friend. a child. do child-murderers deserve to die? a lot of people in the world would say yes. but when he is at her mercy, when he is literally begging for her to kill him, she can't. it's too much. when dany orders the disembowlment of the slavers, she questions the choice internally. does torture have utility, here? what is it worth? ("But later, when she passed the men dying on the posts, when she heard their moans and smelled their bowels and blood... Dany put the glass aside, frowning. It was just. It was. I did it for the children.") again, i dont think the narrative has a straight or easy answer, which is why she's asking at all! if these answers were easy there wouldnt be a book. or things like jon's babyswap, which i consider its own kind of violence— but it is born from an unflinching desire to avoid worse violence. so... can it be just, then? theon murders the miller's boys. little kids. does he deserve to be punished? yeah, right? but then we are confronted with reek, and the empathy in the reader flinches, says: nooooo not like that!!!! and then feels bad for ever thinking it! so if he can change, did he ever deserve to die? when joffrey dies-- joffrey!!!-- there is very little catharsis to be found. ("He has Jaime's eyes. Only he had never seen Jaime look so scared. The boy's only thirteen.") the prose focuses on his purple face, his futile desperation to breathe. the way he looks like a child, because he is.

and then there are all the logistical, logical ends that need to be dealt with when seeking retribution. you got back at someone: great. now their family or allies or loved ones will get back at you, and on and on it will go forever until no one remembers the original injustice (see: the brackens and the blackwoods). now there is a power vacuum, or a counterrevolution, now the crops have burned and everyone is starving, now there are orphans. so... was it worth it? this is generally never the intent, but none of this can be sidestepped, either. a large point: no matter how justified in war you may feel, these consequences must still be borne. whether they are worth it in the end is your decision to make.

so we come to ellaria, with no clearer answer than what we started with. and i agree, it's one of my favourite quotes too. the endless question of: what do we do with what has been done to us? the violence has already been done, there is no way to bring someone back, there is no retribution. the victims are dead and so is their killer. and yet it is a hollow justice, because nothing has changed. women like elia are still bartered as political pawns and discarded. again, there is no coherent justice in westeros. it is only by chance that gregor died anyway. the systems of power are still functioning, and the aberration of that is felt. the sand snakes are grieving, but they are grieving the only way they know how. oberyn walked past obara's weeping mother when she picked up a spear. the only language in westeros is violence, the only power in blood. well, it's better than being powerless, right? .....right?

there is no good option. doran picks a side, having agonized over it for decades. this was not easy for him! the martells are understandably pissed off by the lannisters— of course— but... who is left to seek justice from? tywin is dead. robert is dead. aerys and rhaegar are dead. gregor is dead. amory lorch is dead. they could war against/kill cersei... i guess. jaime, maybe? myrcella? tommen? great, what would be the point? will their deaths feel good, emotionally, to the martells? or will they just feel hollow, like so many scenes of retribution in the series?

so i might favour ellaria's vision-- peace and submission, anything just to survive, to avoid hurting people. but this has its own very very obvious problems! pacifism is not a get out of jail free card lmao! "war will come, whether we wish it or not," obara says. it's highly possible this move would be seen as a sign of "weakness", and would only invite worse violences from the ruling power. again— the misery of this world is systemic, not individual. that's what feudalism is. that's what power is. it requires violence to maintain. but violence is also almost always required to challenge or protest it. so, ok. fuck. fuck! how can a world like this be borne? and how can we change it?

god i wish i knew!!!!!! — george rr. martin, 2011

[thesweetestdevotion]

Hello, can you do sunoo as boyfriend. Thanks!!🙏🙏

hi!! here we go!!

Enhypen Sunoo as a Boyfriend:

Dice: Taurus, 4th House, Mercury

Tarot: Ten of Wands Reversed, Three of Wands, Nine of Coins, Five of Swords Reversed, Knight of Coins, Queen of Coins, Seven of Cups, The Sun, Temperance, The World

As a boyfriend, he's very slow moving and calculating. He likes to find a partner that is on the same level as him. He's kinda stubborn in the sense that he's not the type to go with people who dont match his list of preferences in a relationship, especially on physical beauty, persoanlty, and goals. I see here with taurus and mercury, he likes to be mentally compatible with his partner, espacially around building and maintaining physical wealth. He's kind of in the process of building his future dream life, like setting down roots so that in later years he's living the life that he's wished for. So he wants his partner to sort of match his expectations head on, he's not the type to stumble around trying to figure out incompatabilities or reconcile any differences, you either come prepared or dont come at all. I think he's actually a bit cold when it comes to picking a partner, but when he finds the right one he's all about sharing his stability and wealth with his partner. He seems very pragmatic and sort of wants to go down the beaten path, as much as he can, in his relationships. I do think he's very nururing towards his partner, he's the type to want to show them off especially to his family. I also do feel he's not the type to look for a partner that is too far from home, or what he calls familiar. Again, pragmatic, he wants his life to be as easy as it can be, and he'd enjoy relating well to his partner. I don't see him dating outside his culture as im in his current energy. He's agreeable and has a sweet and sunny disposition, wouldnt start fights or arguments unless necessary. Even if him and is partner get into fight he'd try to be as fair and objective as possible. He likes to the root of the problem and not let bad energies fester in his relationships. He's romantic and often dreams of that happily ever after, his energy honestly feels a lot older than what he is. He's ready to settle down honestly, just waiting to find the right person with which to do it with. I do feel physical beauty is important to him as well, he might be into grounded and earthy types that also match his serious and dedicated vibes. I think as of right now he's weighing many options, whether it's career related or romantic, he feels very busy. And optimistic as well, maybe he feels like he's close to getting the things he wants. He's also the type to get overwhelmed pretty frequently, which is why i think he prefers that serious, grounded type. could be into older partners. Honestly thats all i get for him at this time!! hes very straightforward in his energy, and also very secure in himself and what he wants, so sorry if it was a bit short!

Hope you like this one!! he seems sweet hehe xxx

[the-s1lly-corner]

Various TADC characters x reader who doesnt remember anything about themselves

something something goose confirming that circus members remember some bits of their life + pomnis dialogue about feeling like nothing in the real world backing that up characters: kinger, caine, ragatha, gummigoo notes: reader is gn, au where gummigoo lives cws: edit

caine

he doesnt fully understand why it seems to stress you out so much, though is that really surprising? caine isnt exactly.. hmm...

as mean or invalidating as it may feel he might just try to get you to forget about trying to remember or to get you to stop stressing out about it... mostly out of his lack of understanding why its such a big deal to you, but also a tiny part of him because he doesnt want to see you abstract so soon... hes grown accustomed to your prescence!

you can make new memories with him... what other option is there?

its almost endearing the way he tries to comfort you by saying you can do so, but once more it feels so... dismissive..

he doesnt really mean to make you feel invalidated its just a lack of understanding, he does offer up an apology if you tell him outright that it makes you feel upset

though he is curious about why you dont remember ANYTHING! other circus members at least seem to remember glimpses and feelings but you have.. nothing... thats never really happened before and he vaguely wants to pick you apart to find out why

kinger

he can relate a bit, given that his mind is fuzzing- he feels so so sympathetic to your position when hes in a clear state of mind

offers to let you talk to him, whether about trying to remember or something to get your mind off of it

thanks to his erratic behavior, hes pretty good at getting your mind off of it for a little while

you both walk around the grounds to try to clear the air and get any tensions away

he checks in on you often due to him worrying that your major lack of memories or sense of identity pushes you to a headspace where you can abstract

not that he wouldnt check on you anyway, because he would

in an almost lighthearted way, you both make theories on who you were- some bland and mundane, others extravagant and insane

ragatha

similar to kinger she listens to you if you ever need to vent about your frustrations and anxieties around your origins, or really just in general... she doesnt want to see you suffer and honestly she kind of tends to you so she can keep her mind off of her own problems

asks if you want comfort or possible solutions whenever you seek her out, she wants to make sure to help you in the best way possible because... well its a delicate situation! she tends to lean more towards comfort... there cant really be a solution, can there?

you both attempt to do mock interviews, asking random questions... if you cant get your memories back maybe the two of you can make inferences about the kind of person you were based on your answers?

its not perfect, but its... something

none of the circus members remember the entirety of their lives before entering the circus but shes worried about your total lack of memories, similar to caine

gummigoo

oh boy... someone with no memories prior to becoming aware in the digital circus, and someone who was given false memories prior to becoming self aware. you are both... a hot mess..

you both cling onto each other out of a sense of comfort and familiarity between the two of you

you knock sense into each other and keep each other afloat if one of you gets a little too sucked deep into it

similar "we can make new memories, together" but with a sense of genuine hope and wanting to carve out a future for the two of you rather than trying to pacify and dismiss you

you both sit down together and just... talk about anything

you ask him what life as a bandit was like, and he asks you what its like being in the circus

you build something together, and its nice

[castlebyersafterdark]

question relating to mike and will's ways of flirting! so obviously will would love mike to be his knight/saviour/paladin/protector 4eva, but does will also go in for the kind of flirting that means he pretends not to have his own strength in order for mike to swoop in, just in small silly moments? i know mike already does swoop in and save will, but would will ever ham this up to make mike feel extra strong and helpful in everyday life?

i might be unfairly comparing will to 'girl flirting' here, but a typical thing is like 'needing' jars opened, heights reached, physical labour done, and especially like wanting a hand getting up steps/down from places/etc etc just excuses to touch even though quite capable alone. but im not sure if will (and gay guys in general?) flirt with each other in this way because... many straight men are attached to their strength and idea of traditional masculinity and wouldnt want to appear weak and i dont know if this also carries over into gay relationships as a sort of generalisation?

YES you have the vision. You know Will is laying it on thick, hamming it up. I feel like that kind of thing would really play to Mike's ego in a positive way. Not meaning that he's egotistical, but Mike would love it and feel so good and Will would love pushing it, making sure Mike felt strong and capable and that Will needs him. And Will does need him, but Mike also needs to hear it. And Will means the stuff he says but honestly, when we flirt we exaggerate as to goad the attention of the one we are flirting with.

And I think people in general have different styles, and I know what you mean by "girl flirting" technically - maybe not every man or every gay guy ever would do this, but listen. There are so many personality types and everyone's different. A lot of gay men already are not adhering to society's expectations of men by virtue of just being gay, so it's not a monolith and there are vast personality types across all genders. Are there straight men who love when a woman uses competence and either mental or physical strength to flirt with or impress them? You bet!!! Challenge gender roles, goodbye 👋 But anyway... valid flirtation method. Seems VERY accurate for the Will and Mike dynamic. It would be a two way street with them. Will likes giving Mike the attention and Mike likes getting the attention, which full circle, means Will's now getting Mike's attention. It works!

And It's not weakness, it's liking being cared for and knowing that the other person likes doing the caring. It's being fully capable but a cheeky little, but heyyyy you can do this for me 😉 I think there's also a fear sometimes to acknowledge effeminacy or flamboyance and we gotta mitigate the fact that these are positive personality types and real. A difference between an authentic portrayal and a caricature. But there's nothing wrong with playing into a little of that, too.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

When Evangeline touched the reader it was clear she wasn't an ally, and after her outburst it was clear she saw them as an object, when Yves said that she wanted to be the savior I didn't expect her to be so unhinged on her quest to be the hero, but makes so much sense, and 'the hero gets the girl' or the 'happy ever after' seems things she selfishly would take, not much unlike Monty reader was there at the wrong place and at the wrong time, pretty sure the reader will have more PTSD and self blame

Still? When I saw the trigger warning I was afraid it would be Monty since I thought we would have a break from her, AND we were told he didn't listen to 'no', good we can get a true antagonist, it was crude and raw and awful, I've read other scenes of that kind but usually they make me feel anger and powerlessness, this was complete terror, also Yves has cameras on the room no? I can't imagine how he was when it happened, being stuck and unable to do anything, not much different from us readers being unable to stop reading what was next, but in a way not 'leaving them alone' I had to stop for a bit and even then it felt 'wrong' to leave them alone, the immersion you create is just something so... Impressive I just can't stop saying it, it's so so unique

And of course now Montgomery will have to step up, even if at this point Yves is the safe heaven, Monty is the devil we know, unlike the devil we don't (Evangeline)

Back on topic, the freeze and fawn was tragically something both Montgomery and Evangeline took advantage of, but Evangeline unlike Monty doesn't see them as an equal even less above herself, there was no way she would ever be in a sane relationship with reader, no matter which kind

Also Mr Jones crying and begging for forgiveness, gives me two thoughts, one he knows or feels what's about to come to either him or his family, or is the kind of person that still believes his daughter is a good person that did wrong, I'm more inclined to the later, who knows maybe just self hate on himself 'i should have done better' or something like that, and in that position I feel reader would either just be numb or lash out at him since it's a cycle of abuse, you didn't stop her then I can also blame you for it, and he LACKS a backbone so maybe a bit for the reader to have some feeling of control back, only time will tell

you're always keeping us on our toes can't wait to see what you come up with next

Ou shid man thank you so much for the analysis!! That is true, anyone would be extremely shaken and like beat themselves up for "falling" for Evangeline's facade, but in actuality there isnt really much to go off on , u wouldnt know till its too late

Altho montys a fuckin creep, i did write him to be at least somewhat lucid when readers genuinely upset or disliking whatever hess doing, he does like respect you as a human tho its just that hes delusional to think ur shy,But he knows when to stop which usually is when you cry or lash out at him

This was what i meant for Evangeline to be a sacrificial lamb because shes just there for a short period of time to make something happen and then get killed off on or off screen

Thanx man i was actually worried that i was writing the scenes to be too goofy or crimge, but glad to hear that i do at least let some of my readers experience the immersion i intended to apply

Yeah Yves saw everything and it wasn't good for his psyche , i was planning to write from his pov at some point but i just couldnt convey the horror and anguish he felt so i just leave it up to interpretation and write the aftermath instead

Oh the mr jones begging one is basically just wanting to protect Evangeline, mans doenst know what Yves have in store for them

Hell yeah thanks for the thoughts anon i got them bones for my brain to chew on

[psychologeek]

Conversation

(bc it gets too long to be in the comment section, and I'm moving it.)

@erictyberiusduckman

quit acting like we havent seen the videos of Israeli citizens halting aid trucks alongside your own government not allowing aid. When Motaz left Falastine, all he could see when he drove past were aid trucks - AND I SAW THEM TOO. All I see on your blog is you linking random civillians getting murdered by YOUR COUNTRY to Hamas. hamas is not the one dropping bombs on innocent falastinis. May i remind you YES. YOUR COUNTRY IS THE BOMBER. HAS BEEN SINCE 1948.

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psychologeek

I don't say that blocking trucks is the right thing to do.

If "my government don't allow aid", then can you please explain to me how trucks entering via Kerem Shalom? Or do you somehow suggest there are multiple ships stopping at the port, moving aid to trucks, the trucks driving several hours, reach the border - without a single person in the government knowing about it?

No justify-but they're hostage families protesting for aid to hosages

Literally 80% of my blog is writing/fandoms. Another 10-15% are about antisemism.

What are you talking about?

I mean, Hamas kinda dies bomb civilians? And hospitals? And everything at reach?

So, just to get it clear - Israel bomb Gaza since 1948? Is that what you're saying?

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erictyberiusduckman

@psychologeek THE DALET PLAN WAS SCRIPTED BY BRITAIN IN 1937...YES YOUR COUNTRY WITH THE AID OF BRITIAN BEGAN THE BOMBINGS WITH THE FIRST NAKBA IN 1948.

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psychologeek

@erictyberiusduckman

I'm tired.

You keep making up misinformation, and ignore what I say.

Are you a bot? Bc right now, that's what you look like.

What country are you from?

(You keep claiming Israeli military bombed Gaza since 1948? Feel free to look up at the, you know, history.)

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erictyberiusduckman

@psychologeek Youre the one saying to look it up but When You google things like "the 1st Nakba" "The Stern Gang" "The Irgun" it all makes sense. The Dalet Plan is PUBLIC COMMON NEWS…Of course a brainwashed Israeli-Nationalist would never believe their Government COULD EVER do anything wrong , let ALONE ALLOW anyone to EVER CRITICIZE THEIR GOVERNMENT…..Notice how way earlier I said I LOVE Peace-Wanting Israelis who can see through their Governments BS. @psychologeek Everything YOUVE brought up Israel having to "fight" was a COUNTER RESURGANCE from Falastine DUE TO THE YEARS OF INVASION beginning with the OTTOMANS, then the BRITS, then ZIONISTS…Not to mention there were Already Jewish People living there in Falastine before your 2 percent Ass had a grandparent move into the home of a Falastinian family after their olive trees were burnt to the ground. And none of them allowed to take their belongings with them.

@psychologeek how can it be Misinformation when it is EASILY GOOGLE-ABLE. AGAIN. what kind of censorship are you dealing with, my dear little Nationalist?

@psychologeek You realize because you are BORN and RAISED in Israel you have ingested YEARS worth of propoganda. You Really think your government wouldn't LIE to you?? You really think your schools wouldnt lie and make it seem like State of Israel is the victim or something? That there are No jews In Falastine??

Your state is backed by AMERICA. You know. "we didnt test radiation on poor people!" America. "we never gave Syphilis to Poor Black Communities" America

@psychologeek American backed State totally would never take Inspiration from American Propoganda or American Imperialism. Nope. Totally wouldnt take money from a Genocidal Global Superpower. No way. Do you see how it works yet. My poor little Nationalist.

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@erictyberiusduckman Ohh you mean Etzel??

You say "I love peace-wanting Israelis" Yet, it sounds more like "I love Israelis who doesn't want Israel to exist"

@erictyberiusduckman

I don't agree with everything my government/s does or did.

What do you call "Falastine"? What part of land?

You keep using blood quantum, and "one drop" like you just came from the 18th century. Can you stop being racist for a second?

Keep calling it Propaganda, yet you constantly quoting right from The Protocols.

"Oh you all live in stolen houses warming your houses with burnt olive and drinking kids' blood".

But sure, I'm brainwashed.

@erictyberiusduckman I mean. Just bc something is Google-able doesn't make it true.There are things like misinformation and disinformation. ~I get it that you hate America with all your heart. But the world isn't black/white.I won't go deep into American Politics, bc idk much about it, but just bc something is supported by A, doesn't automatically make it evil.(Or, do you think everything USA does/fund/support around the world is evil?)

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erictyberiusduckman

@psychologeek maybe If I phrase it this way it will make sense. There is a call for a ceasfire. Innocents are dying. American Government says NO.Full stop. Why? Because theres oil off the coast of Present day Israel. They want your Natural Resources.And they want it easy and they want it fast.

@psychologeek the things your countries Govt has done to the indigenous people of the Levant and Surrounding areas is Nothing Short of Western-Style Imperialism. The tactics they are using against falastinis are Based off the Nazis, who based THEIR tactics off of Andrew Jackson in America and HIS treatment of Indigenous Americans. We can also bring Britian into the Equation as well- And we all know about British Colonization. INCLUDING the areas of the Levant as a whole.

@psychologeek this is why Britain helped the STATE of Israel form and USED brainwashed Ashkenazim and Shepardim victims as physical expendable tools to Obtain a Land and Hold more control OVERALL than the people they borderline-displaced to the area.

@psychologeek I of course mean Ashkenazim and Shepardim from Spain/Portugal and Eastern Europe.Holocaust survivors had to dig through the trash to survive while a mix of Zionists from a mix of America,Pakistan,Ethiopia,etc, and other countries FLEW in to take full advantage of Resources.

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Current Response:

I am?? Not?? American?? Wtf you blame me for things *your* government is doing?? I mean. afaik, this is the reason for something called "elections" and "democracy" and "politics". (But I guess talking shit about other governments is way easier than, you know, actually doing something to change things you can.)

"There is a call for a ceasefire" - I mean, those who say it claim they want ceasefire. However, I haven't heard anyone talking about things like the safe return of the hostages, stop Hamas from bombing and attacking civilians in Israel, or anything but "Israel should stop fighting" (no matter what)". Which.... isn't really a call for ceasefire. Especially as Hamas leaders keep saying "we'll do it again."

"There's oil on the coast of Israel" - Gas. You mean gas. In the mid-north. And again - I don't go into other countries politics.

"the things your countries Govt has done to the indigenous people of the Levant" - which are? As you refuse to admit jews are indigenous to the area.

"Nothing Short of Western-Style Imperialism." - good job in spreading propaganda!. You elegantly ignore everything about non-western imperialism, denying and erasing Jewish history, and keep your propaganda. Well done.

"Zionists/Israelis are the new Nazis" - obviously you have no idea what is Nazism. Which is to be expected. After all, in the 30s Hitler was chosen as the Times' "Person of the Year", not to mention the Madison Square and the Bund.

"Britain helped state Israel" - lol. Yeah right, like they didn't limit entry and immigration (from Jews only).

Hello racism my old friend

"a mix of Zionists from a mix of America,Pakistan,Ethiopia,etc, and other countries FLEW in to take full advantage of Resources." - how dare those (dirty ppl) come? They are here to suck our blood I mean, use all the resources!" (Psst... Do you know where most of the refugees who fled to Israel came from? Hint: not America)

Also you ignored basically everything that I write.