#he is terrified of accidentally letting on that he didnt know AND of upsetting the delicate balance they fuond without him

[byjovewhataspend]

Todoroki thinks he and Izuku have been dating since the sports festival. He knows that they are not very demonstrative and there were no specific big declarations of love or official 'asking eachother out', but they didn't need that. It was obvious. There is no reason to question it and so he doesn't. He's very happy and secure in this relationship and feels very fulfilled

During 2nd year someone is talking in front of him about 'We all know Deku is in love with Bakugou. Its so obvious.'

Todoroki thinks about this for a little bit before announcing to Izuku (very casually, while they are doing homework) That its okay with him if Izuku wants to date Bakugou

Izuku: (is very moved by his best friends support and uses his encouragement to finally confess his feelings to Bakugou)

Todoroki: (now thinks he is in a poly thrupple with Izuku and Bakugou)

"but wouldnt he be able to tell once they leave school?"

NO because they are all roommates

"But wouldnt he notice Izuku doesnt kiss or have sex with todoroki but he does it with bakugou?"

NO because todoroki believes that the relationship is asexual on their side (but highly romantic and passionate) and hes cool with that.

"Wouldnt izuku notice?"

izuku has never known how normal people interact a single day in his life

"wouldnt bakugou get jealous?"

Bakugou ALSO thinks they are all poly

"why would he think that???"

because he ALSO thought todoroki and deku started dating during the sports festival

"oh so todoroki and bakugou have talked about it, thats why they are both so convinced!"

no. never. not once

"But wouldnt he notice that he sleeps alone?"

NO because todoroki is the perfect sleeping partner and he sleeps in the middle

"does Izuku ever find out?"

Yes, when hes like 25. A stranger mentions that hes well known for being in a poly thrupple and Izuku thinks they are insane. He goes home and realizes that apparently HE is the insane one and vows to never let on that he didn't know. 10 years after he started dating todoroki they finally have their first kiss. Todoroki is completely chill about it.

[planetpedri]

i have a arda güler request.

where him and the reader had a fight and she was like you are sleeping on the couch and he didnt want it at first but he was so mad that ge thought he will sleep on the couch and he slept on the couch but the reader got scared bc (idk you can think smth) and went to him to sleep with him on the couch and he woke up asked her what she's doinh and she was just cuddling with him.

thank youuuu sorry for the bad english🥹

Quilt of steam — Arda Güler.

Pairing: Arda Güler x Fem!Reader

Summary: After an argument with Arda, you make him sleep on the couch. It ended up only punishing you though, because now you were scared to sleep alone. You end up folding and join him on the couch.

Word count: 561

Disclaimer/s: arguing , anger , angst to fluff , hurt/comfort . + being scared

A/N: ahhh this req got me goood omg thank youu !! i hope it’s to your liking <3

“The couch. Now.” That was the last sentence you said to your boyfriend before calling it a night. He’d rolled his eyes, not believing you’d demand that.

“Oh come on…” Arda’s words drawled out of his mouth, only furthering your annoyance. “You cannot be serious! Let’s just go to bed.”

He moved toward said bed, and you’d spewed out a chorus of, ‘no’s’ until he stopped. Arda rubs a hand over his face before throwing up his hands in defeat.

“Fine! Whatever.” And then he left, grabbing a blanket before slamming the door shut.

When he was finally gone, you had gotten ready for bed and put on your comfort show, ‘Criminal Minds’. Bad idea. It was a very, very bad idea.

Usually, you had Arda to snuggle into when you got scared. Now, you only had an empty bed and your brain was churning. The dark room terrified you, the door to your closet being slightly cracked did nothing to suppress your anxieties.

With a long, deep breath, you grab your small blanket and an extra pillow, you prepare yourself for the run of your life.

It’d taken you three minutes to get from the bedroom to the living room, where you found your boyfriend fast asleep on the couch. Your lips pull into a frown at the sight.

Guilt swarmed you as you took in his appearance through the dim light that the moon provided. His bottom lip was pushed out, like he’d fallen asleep frowning.

Sighing, you take off your slippers and lower yourself onto the couch, making sure to be as gentle as possible. You didn’t want to wake him, just lay with him.

For a moment, you thought you were successful. He hadn’t stirred or anything. With one last risky move, you rest your arm across his chest, and lay your head on his shoulder, taking one final look at Arda before closing them.

“What’re you doing?” Arda asks, his voice surprising you. Your eyes snap open and you would’ve accidentally thrown yourself off the couch if it hadn’t been for Arda’s arm wrapping securely around you.

Now flush against your boyfriend, as he’d pulled you practically on top of him, you give him a sheepish smile. “I was scared, didn’t want to sleep alone..” You explain weakly, feeling all too embarrassed over it.

Arda’s eyes are still only half open, but his lips still pull into a grin. “I told you, you need to stop watching that show before bed.” He teases, his thumbs rubbing circles into your waist.

Your eyes roll at his words. “Okay, well, that’s a hard no.” You pause then, “I know you’re still probably mad, but can I stay here.”

Without hesitation, Arda hums, his head bobbing slightly. “Of course.” His fingers thread through your hair, pulling your head closer to rest in the nape of his neck.

The leftover anger you held from earlier dissipated the second he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “I’m sorry.” You mumble, eyes fluttering shut.

“I’m sorry, too.” He mutters, “I love you.”

Oh you were definitely not upset anymore, well… not upset at him. You were still upset with yourself, upset that you’d gotten so angry at him.

“I love you, too.” Within the next few moments, both of you had fallen fast asleep in the comfort of each others arms.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[ultra-raging-ghost]

I reached post limit so im gonna write this and save it for midnight to post later 🥰

-10:30 EST

Richas made a reference/mentioned outliving forever and bad started screaming and sobbing for a solid 2 minutes and then started talking about how no no forevers probably fine cucuruchos probably taking care of him, richas asked if thats what bad tells himself to sleep at night, if he just lies to himself and bad said yes! if all else fails, simply lie to yourself and push your true feelings down to make it through this meaningless existence :D and richas said "so if we said the sky is pink at all times a day and just lie to ourselves its ok?" and bad said yes, we already lie to ourselves all the time we just need to think about how much lying we accept :3

richas thinks dappers colorblind

bad said his chats british 😭

time to read books!

-10:40 EST

bad is making fun of us for being sad because of angst(/lh/j) and sang a brief song about us being sad and mentioned "the sun is gone" just to torment us over forever being gone. He also went f5 said something like “if you think it’s sad now… anyway..... spoilers!!" implying it will get even sadder!! (terrified)

oh theres a letter for bbh and forever :((( this might be sad now that forevers. in his place. chats crying

-10:50 EST

Bad is screaming and crying because forever will never be able to read his letter, hes literally head in hands screaming and crying and hes letting the TTS read it out

one of the qsmp purgatory programmers wrote bad a letter saying he was supposed to die more and bad said hes a bug tester at heart and richas is bullying bad because of how many bugs he found and exploited LMAO bad said he'll fudging do it again

-11:00 EST

bad found ANOTHER wall bug to glitch thru, hes insane

-11:10 EST

someone said the word forever and bad is reduced to shambles on the floor, hes crying and whining forevers name in tears and agony and he made the dying "bleh" sound like 4 times

also bad mentioned that as soon as its confirmed to the characters like in-character that max is dead theyre having a funeral for him, like bad as the grim reaper knows but he hasnt told anyone, nobodys aware of him being gone, >>>>also he was ominous and said he needed to shoot max a message oorp and refused to elaborate. what the fuck was that about badboyhalo? <<<<<

-11:30 EST

Bad and richas and pomme wanna make an elevator death trap and then call foolish over to trap/murder him <3 chat is advocating for this idea. chat also wants to see the museum, bad said yes!!! Museum time!

before that, bad is being ominously silent again and is texting off screen. that max comment earlier + this makes me worried. MOVING ON THO BC HES SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RICHAS AND POMME GOT HIM A PRESENT FOR HIS BDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICHAS!!!!! (in brazil time) The present is Honey cookies! because richas got covered in honey and used as bait while they were away LMAO

Bad was talking about the 1k snow golems prank and was wondering if the cleanup team would be upset or love that, and richas said "lets say im part of that tio" and bad is now saying richas will take 100% accountability for that and will clean all of it up by himself LMAOOOO richas placed down signs saying "NO TIO I NEVER SAID THAT!! I DIDNT" and bad read them out loud as "Yes tio i agree i did say that ill do it!"

oh god bads spamming richas signs everywhere this is gonna fucking lag everything LMAOOOO richas crashed and bad kept placing until he got bored and said "yessssss richas will get in so much trouble hahaha! messing with the server!!!! bad then said "Richas always comes back" in the FNAF voice, didnt need to know you were an even bigger nerd BBH but okay /aff

-11:40 EST

Pomme is dragging bbh around on a lasso and is trapping him somewhere <3333 theyre climbing up the big ben and bad is taking SO MUCH DAMAGE he has his auto eat on

he accidentally said the word "forever" again and started crying again, his chat is in shambles.

MUSEUM TIME!!!!!!

HELP THE FUCKING ADMINS INCLUDED A DRAWING OF BAD LITERALLY STUCK IN A PADDED ROOM BASED ON HIS TIME IN JAIL, RICHAS SAID "natural habitat"

>>>>>>bad's crying again, and being horny because of how "cute" forever looks in the fanart, but mostly crying<<<<<

pomme started bullying bad because he called forever cute LMAO

tinas on!!!!!

-11:50 EST

Bad's crying again over art of him and forever in the pool he made in forevers base, the admins want to hurt him specifically/j

"treasure the wholesome moments chat, for they are just dust in the wind" -BBH 2023

bad took his totems out of his offhand again :)

Bad's crying again over another image of him and forever!!

[safetycar-restart]

SHELS I think you should see this:

https://twitter.com/darcystylestm/status/1659415282815754241?s=46&t=rnG4eFfzUv4K5KCFmcOxBw

Oh my god. I knew it happened but a podium?????? Also oops I accidentally made it angsty. And mommy kink.

So we all know that Charles has a massive piss kink. He loves being desperate and begging to be allowed to go, and then he loves either the relief of finally having permission or the feeling of completely losing control.

But he always feels so vulnerable afterwards? That's never a problem when you're with him of course. He just mumbles 'mommy' and then instantly he's being pulled into your arms. He used to try get changed before he gets his hug, but that always left him shakey and upset bu the time he got to you. Now he just throws himself in your arms, knowing the two of you will have a bath together afterwards.

He often does cry a little in your arms, but it's good tears. Often he's also rock hard and he's grinding against you while he cries, feeling so nice and safe and just a little overwhelmed.

You'll sneak a hand into his boxers and stroke him a few times to make him cum. It's always so quick to make him cum, and then he's gasping against your neck and coming in his boxers, making an even bigger mess than before.

Then you take him right to the bathroom and run him a nice warm bath with his special aftercare bubblebath. You get in the bath with him, letting him lay between your legs and he feels so nice and warm, giggling when you splash water in his face. When he gets out the bath, he's so nice and warm and you wrap him in a fluffy towel while you clean up.

The point is, he feels so vulnerable but also so so good because he's got his mommy there to love him and take care of him and make sure he feels good and gets nice and clean after.

But during the race?

He's so scared. He doesn't want to make a fool of himself, and he's so scared that he'll wet himself and everyone will see.

When he's with you, he can safe word out anytime he wants and it will all be over. But he can't safe word out of this. He's stuck in the car and he doesn't know what to do.

He just wants to curl up in a ball and cry when he wets himself in the car, feeling so ashamed and scared. This is not how this is supposed to go!!

And then he gets a podium? He's shaking on the podium, terrified of all the cameras on him and that someone will realise what's happened.

Maybe you're there that weekend? You can see that something is really upsetting him on the podium, but you can't tell what it is. You don't know until he gets back to his driver room and manages to tell you though his tears.

Your heart breaks for him, especially because this has always been one of his favourite kinks. You always poke fun at his tiny bladder, and he blushes so cutely, often getting hard and shuffling closer to you, asking if he should go or stay where he is.

But now it's been ruined. Now his favourite kink is making him cry in your arms because it happened in public and he wasn't ready and he didnt have his mommy for aftercare.

[drpeppertummy]

it's not just a want but a NEED. a lusty, dusty desire I have for Dark Sunny Lore

You Sicko . The Dark Sunny Lore [warning for illness death suicide self harm child abuse/neglect etc]

his dad never wanted him bc he only wanted 3 kids & sunny was an accidental #4. was always very open about not wanting him bc hes a shitty old bitch

additionally sunny was sick all the time & frequently in the hospital (asthma + other respiratory ailments) & dad was resentful bc he never wanted this sick kid taking up all his time & money

his mom was super loving & wonderful but she died when he was like 12. she died from some kind of respiratory situation & the question of Was It His Fault And Will It Kill Him Too is always in the back of his mind

not long after mom died his dad tried to passively let him die too by refusing to take him to the hospital when he was really sick. his sister giuliana finally took him after coming home from school one day & seeing how awful he looked

was good about being in the hospital as a kid & was always like the nurses little darling bc he was such a sweetie but now has a medical phobia bc in his brain its associated with all that misery & pain & fear

outside of his home life pretty much everyone always liked him & he always had a lot of friends & was popular etc but nothing ever made up for the damage his dad did to him mentally

he knows people like him on a superficial level bc he knows hes cute & charismatic on a superficial level but hes scared that if people get close to him theyll realize hes just annoying & hate him

secretly terrified that his friends hate him & are just tolerating him

prone to bouts of depression, often spirals into a terrible mental state if he stays up late. Night Brain hits hard esp when its mixed with rsd

when he was in college he tried to kill himself by taking a bunch of random medications with a bunch of vodka & it made him sick & knocked him out for a while but miraculously didnt kill him

he woke up in the same spot he left himself in & realized nobody found him or noticed & therefore nobody could care. wanted to tell someone so bad bc he Needed somebody to care & hug him & say they were glad he was alive but he was scared to bc he thought theyd get mad at him or think he was too much or not care since he was "fine" so he just peeled himself off the floor took a shower & went to class like nothing happened. his professor scolded him for coming in hungover

(he eventually told gray about it years later & gray held him & gave him that years-awaited love & care & it was like a soul-healing moment for him)

(gray knows more about him than anybody & he worries about him a lot & sunny feels bad for worrying him but he also appreciates that grays always there for him)

as a kid he would bite himself a lot if he was upset/frustrated/overstimulated & he still does sometimes but only when hes alone. its almost like a reflex & if anyone saw hed be mortified

once in a while tho he like actually cuts himself. if someone asks what happened he gives some absurd excuse like "i got mauled by a bear" & refuses to elaborate bc hes scared & ashamed

hes trying to get better but he almost certainly will attempt suicide again someday. he wont succeed but he Will be so so terrified that his friends are gonna be mad at him for it when he comes to (spoiler: they wont be mad at him)

apart from gray his friends dont know the extent of his mental health problems bc he tries to keep it to himself bc he doesnt wanna worry them & bc hes ashamed & afraid they wont want him anymore. the most they really see of it is him being moody sometimes

once in a while somebody will see him break down over something & they know his dad sucks & they know he misses his mom & they can piece together that hes gotta be hurting but hes usually so bouncy & bubbly & cheery that they dont realize how bad it is

[beaulesbian]

more mike gets vecna’d and will has powers theory, that i cant stop thinking about. long post ahead

(bear with me, its a bit chaotic, just like my thoughts)

first they thought it was about the place - the trailer park, but max mentions chrissy was crying in school. which means it wasnt fixed to the place. so even if mike is in cali, it could have already somehow work on him, and maybe will have more effect once he comes back to hawkins.

what he already has in common with the other victims - possible negative emotions.

ofc given the situation mike could have been just upset with what he saw that el did to angela, as well as being upset bc he found out from will that el has been lying to him. as well as will being upset with him too about the lack of communication between them (and mike back at him - they could have both dealt better with the calling/writing to each other throughout the year).

but also this:

and im not sure if its just a coincidence or finn doing this accidentally,

but given it was actually mike who saw this happen to max (when they both didnt know the cause or that its a much worse problem), im taking it as some kind of foreshadowing,

and another foreshadowing could be with the d&d game they play in 4x1, and mike’s character going down - they could be dead, OR could be just at 0 hit points, which mean... someone needs to save him/stabilize him still after defeating vecna

they will need someone to break the curse, defeat the wizard part of vecna.

and then maybe someone with healing powers, maybe a certain cleric (will) 👀

“ Clerics are powerful healers due to the large number of healing and curative magics available to them. With divinely-granted abilities over life or death, they are also able to repel or control undead creatures “

where if he does have some kind of powers, he could do something against the supposed undead army, thats been mentioned multiple time throughout the show.

imagine:

vecna attacks mike, they desperately try to rescue him, but what if his favorite song doesnt work, eleven fails trying to defeat vecna, but then will gets into upside down either through the connection he still has?

and he finds mike, and what vecna is trying to do to him, illusions and nightmares all around, its horrible, and he sees how much mike is scared and terrified.

and will does what he does best - he reassures, he offers a comfort that in that moment mike desperately needs, maybe in just a way of saying ‘im here, its gonna be okay, we are getting you out of here, just hold on.”

and he attacks vecna... with a fireball!

(bc although “he could have cast protection and play it safe”,  “sometimes the bad guys are smart too”)

drawing fireballs with green instead of red, could mean its just the opposite color on the spectrum - or the upside down version of red.

i rest my case with:

LET WILL CAST FIREBALL ON VECNA!

[smutophile]

Crime & Punishment (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Your CEO catches you in the office late at night watching naughty videos and decides to show you just how naughty girls are punished.

Warnings: Dub con, spanking, masturbation

Word count: 3k

You sat at your desk and watched the sun start to set on another dreary New York Friday. The rest of the staff on your level had left almost over an hour ago but you had agreed to be the one to stay behind to assist the West Coast should any problems arise. The pro was getting to start work later but the obvious con was sitting alone in an office building late at night whilst the rest of your co-workers started their weekend.

It didn't bother you so much. You lived alone - you worked alone. You were used to being alone. The night shift in the office was quiet. California very rarely ever called you with problems at this time of night. It was peaceful. You’d do what you always do when you had quiet time. You pulled out your phone and escaped into your fantasy world that would always stay just that - a fantasy.

You read your dirty stories, your smut. You looked around to make sure you really were alone. Nobody wandered down to your level at this time of night. You hadn’t seen your boss in weeks - he only showed up when something was wrong so the less you saw of him the better. Although - he wasn’t so hard on the eyes. Steve Rogers - CEO. Young for a CEO but such a babe. Strong muscular build with a beard that just screams daddy. It was no wonder when you read your stories, the dark mysterious man always morphed into a familiar face in your mind. The things you would love that man to do to you.

Lost in your daydream you kept scrolling, not paying attention to the world around you. Lost in your own fantasies. You failed to notice footsteps approaching your desk. Failed to notice the figure looming behind you. Watching as you scrolled through videos of naughty schoolgirls having their bottoms turned a nice shade of pink.

“You know - watching porn on work time is punishable by immediate termination”

The boding voice made you jump out of your seat, your phone falling out of your hands and straight to Mr Rogers’ feet.

“I didnt..I wasn’t...i’m sorry” You stuttered...desperately trying to grab the phone from the ground and stop the video that was playing. It was too late. Your boss had the phone in his hands and could see all too well what you had been doing.

“Are you going to try to tell me this was an accident? You just stumbled across this website and accidentally watched this video?” He spoke so smoothly with a smirk adorning his face.

You were silent. What could you say? You had just been caught red handed by the very person you had been fantasizing about.

He turned your phone off and placed it on the desk next to you. You kept your eyes down and twisted your fingers in your hands. You stared at the ground and prayed that the floor would open up and swallow you whole. This was the most humiliating moment of your life. It couldn't get any worse.

“I could fire you…” He paused. Another smirk lining his face. “Or we could come up with another punishment to fit the crime”

“Anything...please. I need this job” Your voice was shaky. But you were confident. If he was willing to give you another chance you would take it.

“Oh sweetheart, you shouldn't go making deals with the devil. You are bound to get burnt”

He closed the gap between you and lifted your chin to meet his eyes.

“Bend over the desk”

You hesitated. Had you heard him correctly? He couldn't be serious. You searched his eyes to see if he was joking.

“Or you can pack your things and leave and never return. Which will it be?”

He crossed his arms. His face was hard to read. This man was strong and intimidating but this was coercion. Was he really capable of this?

The fear was evident in your body language but deep down there was a part of you that was secretly excited by the prospect of what was to come.

You moved slowly but efficiently. You laid your body over the desk and stretched your arms out in front of you. You could no longer see Steve but you could feel him. He ran his fingers down your spine. Your body was scared - the hairs on your arms standing up. But your mind - your mind was racing with all the possibilities of what was about to happen.

Steve placed his hands at the base of your skirt and lifted it slowly to reveal your white cotton panties. Your cheeks reddened with embarrassment. Of course you hadn't thought to put on sexy lacy underwear. Nobody would see them. He rolled the skirt all the way up to your waist and left it there with your ass on display.

“Hmmmm - what to do with you?” He questioned. You’d never heard him so satisfied. You only ever heard him barking orders or demanding answers. This was a completely different voice. A voice which quite literally sent shivers down your spine.

“Have you ever been spanked before?” You could hear him rolling up the sleeves on his dress shirt. Running his fingers over your underwear.

“No” You shook your head. You had imagined it in your head over and over again but you could never voice your fantasies out loud.

He quickly pulled your ponytail sharply - snapping your head up off the desk.

“No - what?” He spoke forcibly. Now your body was terrified. Your legs shaking and sweat started forming on your forehead.

“No...sir?” You phrased it as more of a question than a statement. Not sure exactly what he was looking for but desperate to please him.

He released your hair and gently pushed your face back down onto the desk. Apparently that was the right answer.

“I think ten smacks with my hand will be a good start. You don’t need to count”

He walked around to the side to give himself the room that he needed. Your heart was beating so fast and so loud you were almost certain he could hear it.

The first smack took you by surprise. A lard thud on your right butt cheek. The surprise of the hit shocked you more than the pain did. It wasn't so bad. You could take 10 of these. Especially with your underwear on to protect you. You were at least grateful for that small mercy.

He didn't wait very long for the next smack. This one hurt a little more. You let out the breath you had been holding but still didn't speak a word. You tried hard to keep your mouth closed throughout the next few hits but the pain was increasing. His delicate hands crashing down on your ass in quick succession alternating from left to right. You could feel tears filling in your eyes. From pain or humiliation you weren't sure.

At about smack number 5 you let out your first yelp. What you thought would come out as a cry of pain sounded more like a moan of pleasure. The spanking hurt and Steve was not holding back. He barely waited between each hit and showed no sign of slowing down. You were not enjoying this. You couldn't. This was supposed to hurt but you felt your body betraying you. Or was your mind betraying your body?

At smack number 10 you finally let the tears spill over from your eyes but still keeping your mouth closed. It quivered but you wouldn't dare speak or let him hear you. You could feel him rub his hand over your bottom in a surprising show of kindness. He gently ran his hand up your back and flicked the hair out of your face and to one side.

“That's a good girl. Take a deep breath for me now” His words were like music to your ears. You had no idea how much you wanted to please him. How much you wanted him to be happy with you. You followed his instructions and took a big gulp of air. You kept your body laying over the desk - too scared to move or do anything that could upset him.

“You did so well for your first time. Lets see if you liked what I did to you”

Your tears were almost gone now. Your shock and fear were replaced by a whole new range of emotions. Excitement...lust.

He dipped his fingers into your panties and dragged them down to your feet. He helped you lift up to your feet one by one and placed the panties in his pocket. He kicked your feet apart and forced your body to spread itself on display.

“Oh my - you certainly did enjoy your spanking”

You buried your face into the desk and curled your fingers in embarrassment. You wanted to tell yourself you didn't enjoy what he was doing to you. The pain was intense but you couldn't hide the juices leaking out of your pussy and graciously down your thighs. You were beyond wet. You were dripping.

Steve ran a finger through your slit and the moan that escaped your lips could not be controlled. He held his glistening fingers up to the light and inspected your arousal.

Your body was on fire. The spanking had left your behind burning but your pussy was throbbing. Your clit felt electric and you tried desperately to get the much needed friction on it to give you a spark.

Steve could see you rubbing your cunt against the desk desperately like a dog on heat. You were past the point of caring now. Humiliation had taken a back seat now and the driver was your absolute need to orgasm. There was no other thought - you had never needed to get off more than at this very moment.

Steve dipped his fingers back to your slit and ran them up towards your clit eliciting yet another guttural moan from your lips. His touch felt like a live wire had just been connected to your pussy and you were being electrocuted.

He removed his finger after just a brush against your clit and watched you try desperately for more. More friction...more anything. You needed more.

“Get up on the desk. On your hands and knees” He ordered. That was the voice you were used to. The one that always got what he wanted. Nobody questioned him when he demanded something and this wasn’t a question. It was an order. Who were you to disobey?

You complied instantaneously. Keeping your head forward and lifting your body up onto the table on full display for Steve to see. He pushed your shoulders down so that you were on your elbows but still keeping your ass in the air. Your body shivered in anticipation.

You could still feel the heat on your ass from your spanking. It felt as though welts might appear in the shape of his hand prints. That thought got you even more excited. A temporary reminder of what had happened tonight. That this was real.

Steve placed an object in your hand. It was small - cylindrical shaped. Almost like a tube of lipstick. Except - he flicked a switch on the object and you instantly knew what this was. The vibrations ran all down your arm. It was tiny but powerful. A bullet vibrator. He had this in his pocket? You’d have to come back to that thought later. Right now all you knew is that you were naked from the waist down, horny as fuck and you had a vibrator in your hands.

“I want to see you cum” He stated matter of factly. How you wished you could see his face right now. But then again, your boss is looking at your ass and pussy on full display right now. Maybe not being able to look him in the eyes is a good thing.

You took the bullet in your hand and slipped it straight down to your clit. The sensation made you jolt immediately and almost threw you off balance. Steve was still there, his hands on your hips instantaneously to steady you. You got back to work and placed the vibrator back on that sensitive bundle of nerves. It wouldn’t take long for you to get off like this. It would be embarrassingly quick.

SMACK. You heard the smack before you felt the familiar burn of the hit on your ass.

“Ow...fuck” You were not prepared for that. Of course he wasn't going to make this easy for you. Your hand holding the vibrator had slipped back onto the desk to steady yourself from the new onslaught.

“Put that back on your clit now” His voice was low but menacing. Your need to please him...to obey him was back. Your body quickly following his command before your brain could even comprehend what you were doing.

The sting from his hit had faded slightly but the burn remained. The fire was spreading to your cunt and whilst the spanking had put a small delay in your orgasm, it still wouldn't take long. The fight between pain and pleasure in your mind was confusing but pleasure was winning. It always would.

“9 more smacks and then you can cum. Don’t you dare cum before i’ve hit you 10 times” That made things a little more complicated. His voice was threatening. You couldn’t let him down. Not now.

You placed the bullet back on your clit and your body shook with excitement. You were more prepared for the next hit but you were not prepared for the reaction your body would have to the pain. As if on cue, you could feel that familiar sensation in your body. Your orgasm was quickly building. The next two hits came in quick succession. Your legs started to quiver. Your head started to shake back and forth. No no no no. It was happening too fast.

He kept spanking, switching between each butt cheek and alternating where he hit. You barely noticed the pain - instead focusing on how many slaps were landing on your sore behind.

“Please...PLEASE…” You were begging. Desperately. That was the only word you could say right now. Unable to form sentences. Your brain was unable to function right now as your pussy was in charge and nothing else in the world mattered. The sensation had moved from your belly down to your clit and was going to explode any second now. You counted. Nine...Ten...and then - nothing. You were floating...as if there was nothing around you. No desk...no office...just darkness. And then as if you had fallen straight back to earth - your orgasm ripped into you. The feeling took over you as if you had been hit by a freight train. Your body shook with the intensity of your orgasm and your pussy clenched in on itself as it rode out the shockwaves with the rest of your body.

You dropped the bullet onto the desk and curled yourself into a ball. Your body still shaking from the aftershock of the most intense orgasm you had ever had in your life. Your breathing was staggered...almost to the point of hyperventilating. ‘As your senses slowly started coming back to you, you could feel Steve’s hands rubbing your ass. Smoothing away the pain.

The reality of what you had just done was starting to sink in. An overwhelming sense of dread taking over your body. Your body was now choosing between fight and flight and running away seemed like the best option right now. You snapped your head up to look at the culprit behind these feelings and your body followed quickly after. You stood up off the desk and peeled your skirt back down to give yourself a tiny bit of dignity back.

You slammed your laptop shut and slid it straight into your bag. You grabbed your phone and handbag and swung around to get out of here as quickly as possible.

“Hey hey hey...wait…” His voice was calm, soothing almost. His arms out as they tried to stop you from your escape. Trying to placate you and reason with you. You were beyond reasoning right now.

The tears were back and you could feel a sob building in the back of your throat.

“I can’t….I have to go” You managed to squeak out without sobbing. You started to head for the elevator before his hands were on you again.

“Please...just stop. Let’s talk about this” He was always the voice of reason. A smart business man like him...he knew how to get his way.

“No...i just...I have to go” Your quivering lip giving away your emotion that you were trying to keep bubbled inside of you. You swerved from his grasp and pressed the button on the elevator. He kept his distance from you sensing your fear. You got in and pressed the button for the lobby and kept your head down. Not able to look at him. You didn't want to see his face. His pity. You just needed to get out.

Your trip home was a blur. Somehow you put one foot in front of the other and found yourself in your apartment. Alone. Confused. Angry. A shower would wash away the shame that was enveloping your body. You stripped away your clothes only vaguely registering the fact that you were still missing your underwear.

Once the steam had started to rise from the shower indicating that the water was indeed scolding hot - you slowly placed your head under the spray and let the cascade wash away your tears. You ran your hands through your hair and ran it down your body until they landed on your butt. There was that reminder. That physical painful reminder of the shameful slutty act you had done. The guilt washed over you like a slap in the face.

You allowed yourself to be spanked...by your boss and you masturbated yourself to a mind blowing orgasm...in front of your boss. You consented to this. When you allowed yourself time to think about the severity of what you had done you realized with absolute certainty that you had enjoyed it. You loved it. You craved it. It was everything you had ever wanted and more.

After an eternity, you left the sanctum of your shower and dressed in your pajamas. You grabbed your phone and switched it back on. Nobody would be looking for you. There would be no messages. Except there was. A few missed calls and a text. From an unknown number.

Please let me know that you got home ok.

Your fingers hovered over the phone. Before you could reply a calendar invite popped up.

Meeting. 8pm. Monday night. Steve Rogers office.

Accept or Decline?

[pinkalliums]

i am reaching for any ranbob curmbs i can get so YES KING GIV US RANBOB STUFF!!

OH OKAY WASNT EXPECTING AN ASK /POS

lots of ranting under the cut (and everything is /dsmp and /rp !!!)

so basically, the fic was gonna be your basic "character from the future finds themself in the past" kinda thing, cause mizu takes place several hundreds of years in the future.

the fic takes place four days after the disc war finale, when dream was defeated by everyone and thus placed in prison (i made it that day because i think the mizu stream actually did take place four days after that, on january 24th i believe)

ranbob finds themself in current day dsmp after something fucks up karl's time travel, and when ranbob is touching isaac's shoulder with the intention of stabbing him, karl accidentally pulls them into present day.

ranbob freaks the fuck out as one would do (cause theres this new guy they've never seen before, and they don't have anything to protect themself with, and he's in a cave with a weird portal), then start attacking.

karl would also be terrified because he still doesnt understand the time travelling thing, but all he knows is that somehow he royally fucked something up and doesnt even know how he did it.

they both end up fighting for a bit until ranbob almost kills karl, but sapnap and quackity hear what was happening and come in and knock ranbob out. (el rapids is still in existence at this point, and this takes place in karl's house in there)

after that, they begin interrogating ranbob and karl is forced to tell sapnap and quackity about his time travelling. needless to say they're worried about him. quackity wants to force information out of ranbob, but sapnap is a bit more hesistant and decides to take the longer route, trying to be nice to them to the best of his ability.

eventually, sapnap starts talking about the server and everyone on it, and everything that ranbob knows is taken into question. namely, he learns that fundy was not a pet, eret isnt an awful person, ranboo doesnt have a good memory, and most importantly, dream isnt a good person.

at this ranbob lashes out at sapnap, or at least tries to, and sapnap is upset. mostly because ranbob kind of reminds him of himself, and how he used to blindly trust dream's judgement and how it caused him to question his whole worth as a person once he learned that dream didnt care about him like sapnap had.

it takes a long time, but eventually ranbob does become comfortable with sapnap to the point where he could be let out without the worry of him lunging at someone, and sapnap tours them around the server, trying to show them how everything works and such.

ranbob is overwhelmed to say the least, because he's spent so much time in an underwater city with no one to talk to and now theres so many people and theres the sky and no water surrounding him.

things at this point get a bit more unclear story wise because i stopped planning it out but

the story was supposed to be not only a healing arc for ranbob for him to find out that dream wasnt all he was cracked out to be, it was also a fic for c!sapnap to get a support system where he can talk about his trauma and issues surrounding c!dream with a person who could relate somehow. because god knows he needs it.

i also wanted ranbob to make friends (probably eret and tommy specifically among others), and have them fully realize that c!dream really isnt good and they were doing awful things in the name of a man who they didn't know, and also turned out to be a person who hurt some of the only people that has ever shown kindness to them.

i imagine it wouldve all come to head in ranbob's last ditch effort to try to prove that c!dream wasnt an awful person, by visiting him in prison.

so they do, and when they hopefully introduce themself, c!dream immediately starts asking for favors, some of which mean hurting people or at least indirectly hurting people that ranbob now calls their friend. ranbob is shattered and they end up having a huge argument, ending with ranbob punching the shit out of dream and leaving, feeling incredibly empty.

but yeah that's all i had for the fic, i still really like the premise but i dont have the commitment, time, or writing skills to actually do it.

i do hope someone did enjoy reading this little summary though :D

[littlebigafterdark]

I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?

the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)

This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!

oOo

context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder

so...

one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles

and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok

and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away

"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again

but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"

and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces

and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again

but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful

but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.

and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-

it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again

"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.

and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby

and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside

. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that

when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle

but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy

roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.

but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED

so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.

"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"

logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"

and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"

logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no

so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"

"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.

he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too

so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown

every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"

when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away

and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are

so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.

as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries

they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future

but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)

they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch

oOo

just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:

logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home

it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small

his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true

and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back

and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3

hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him

he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing

[sweetiejunie]

This city

Summary: a late night drive with beomgyu

Genre: fluff, slight angst

Beomgyu x reader

Requested💕

=====================================

“Hello?” You spoke in a groggy voice, picking up the buzzing phone next to you.

“Hi babe! Were you sleeping again?”

“.... no....” you answered, hearing beomgyu chuckled on the other end.

“Okay then, since you’re awake, get ready, I’m picking you up in 15.”

“Wait, wha-”

“Love you, bye.”

With that, he hung up. Leaving you in a state of confusion. Checking your phone, the clock showed 11.23 pm. What could he possibly want at this hour?

You laid in your bed, contemplating your options. For one, you could get changed and get ready to meet beomgyu. On the other hand, you could just stay in bed and wait for him to let himself in. As tempting as the latter was, curiosity got the better of you and dragged you out of bed.

Not knowing any details, it was hard to choose an outift. Did you have to dress up? You had no idea where he was bringing you. After a few minutes of consideration, you decided on a simple oversized shirt and jeans, you sat on the couch waiting for a knock to come from the door.

As expected, no more than 5 minutes later, you heard your passcode being keyed and the door being pushed opened with beomgyu’s head poking through.

“Babe!” he called out, only to be cut off when he turned to see you already waiting for him, “oh, hey babe, i expected you to still be in bed. Come on let’s go.”

From his dressing, you figured he definitely wasn’t bringing you anywhere fancy, a plain shirt, layered with a bomber jacket and jeans.

Walking over to where you were seated, beomgyu leaned down and gave you a kiss. But there was an eerie feeling, something about it felt... off. Grabbing your hand, he dragged you out of your house and to his car.

His car wasn’t anything luxurious, but you didn’t mind. Through the years you had been together, this car contained countless memories. There was the time you two had accidentally spent the night in his car because neither of you wanted to drive. And also the time you somehow got locked in his car.

Beomgyu, being the gentleman he was, stopped at the passenger side and opened the car door for you. But before stepping in you had to know, “gyu, you still havent told me, so where we’re going?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure you’ll love it. And i just really needed to see you right now.”

‘Needed’ A wave of worry crashed over you as that word echoed through your head. Beomgyu never used that word often. Usually, he would use want. Very semdom need. That’s when it hit you, something was wrong.

Stepping into his car, you wondered if your intuition was right. This time, you really hoped it wasn’t, it pained you seeing your, usually carefree and smiley, boy sad or hurt. Your mood reflected his own and if he was upset you wouldn’t hesitate to fight whoever or whatever caused it. You analysed his every move as he closed your door and went around to the driver’s side. Even if it was the smallest hint to what was wrong, you didnt want to miss it.

He got in the car, closed the door and fastened his safety belt. Looking at you through the corner of his eye, he chuckled before saying, “what is it? You’ve been watching me.”

“Are you alright?”

Hearing the concern in your voice he turned to face you, placing a hand on your cheek, “of course, why would i be?”

You studied his face. His words said one thing but his expression said another. There was a sadness in his eyes, but you didn’t want to pry. When he was ready he would tell you. And even if he didn’t, you would still be by him no matter what. You hummed a response. And with that, beomgyu grabbed the steering wheel and step on the gas, driving off.

The drive was quiet, beomgyu kept his eyes on the road while you looked out the window, only peeking at him every so often. He looked ethereal, driving with one hand as his other laid on the arm rest. The streets lights illuminating his features as he drove past each one. Sensing your stare, he glanced over to you, only causing you to get flustered and look away. He let out a small laugh and grabbed your hand with his free one, holding it for the rest of the ride.

You watched the number of street lights decrease as beomgyu approached an upward hill.

“Where are we?” You questioned.

“We’re almost there,” he replied, holding your hand tighter for reassurance.

After another 5 minutes, beomgyu stopped the car and stepped out. Once again going over to your side, opening the door and offered you a hand which you gladly accepted. A chivalrous move, one of the many reasons you loved him.

You hopped out of the car and realised he had brought you to a cliff that overlooked the city. The majestic view of the skyline appeared with startling beauty. There wasn’t a cloud in the star-speckled sky. A half-moon hovered at the fringes of the luminous cityscape, where the red blinking lights of distance radio towers twinkling in the night. There were no trees or city planted blooms, just monoliths of concrete soaring out of the sidewalk in an exact grid pattern. At night it was beautiful in it's own way, so many lights.

You couldn’t help but stare, mouth left slightly agape as you took in the breathtaking view infront of you. Meanwhile, beomgyu was busy taking in a different view, to him, just as beautiful and amazing, you. He loved how the area around you lit up when you were happy or excited. Your mere presence alone enough to light up an entire room.

Flashing him a smile and a light giggle, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close. “How did you find this place?”

“Hmm, i just suddenly remembered how much i loved this place when i was younger and figured ill bring you here too,” he replied, trying to return the smile. But you knew him better than that, you knew that behind the smile there was still something on his mind.

“Come on.”

With that, he snaked an arm around your waist, leading you to a bench that sat underneath a tree, a single street light used to light up the entire place. The entire scene seemed to come straight out of your favourite romance movie. To be completely honest, you would be surprised if out of the blue, beomgyu broke into song.

There was absolutely no one else there. To think such a beautiful site would be filled with people, but i guess not. It was a secluded place and you were pretty glad that you and beomgyu could enjoy this alone. Just you, him, the night sky and the city lights. How could it get any better?

You both sat in silence for a little while. Beomgyu had his arm around you as you laid on his shoulder. He even wrapped you up in his jacket, knowing you forgot to bring your own. It wasn’t a particularly chilly night, but he still didn’t want to risk the possibility of you catching a cold. In that moment, everything felt perfect. But there was still a nagging feeling at the back of your head.

You sat up to look beomgyu in the eyes and asked, “gyu, are you really alright? Something’s been feeling off the entire night. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but im just worried. And you know you can tell me anything right?”

He sighed, a small smile tugged at his lips. “I really can’t hide anything from you, can i?” He stated, holding you tighter, resting his head on yours.

“Well,” he started, “i guess these few months of living in this city, away from my family, is just starting to get a bit lonely and overwhelming. I’m here chasing my dreams. But i just feel like the more i give my heart to this city, one day, she’s just going to break it.”

You listened as beomgyu poured his heart out to you. You had no idea he left like this and it hurt you to the core. You felt horrible for not noticing sooner.

“Right now, this city’s got me chasing stars. She loves me now. But what if one day she decides to leave? It terrifies me to think i dont belong here anymore.”

You felt tears well up in your eyes as he spoke. It broke your heart to hear him say that.

“Gyu,” you spoke, lightly tapping his head so he would sit up.

You looked him in the eyes, “dont say that. You do belong here. And if you ever feel alone, dont. You have the boys and me. Ill never leave you. I love more than anything, you know that right?”

He nodded slightly, eye studying yours as you continued, “behind the dazzle of the city’s façade there existed this outpost of hell but Ill be right by your side. And if the city ever breaks your heart, ill be right here to pick it up.”

By this point a tear had rolled down your cheek, only to be swipped away by beomgyu’s thumb as he gently carassed your face. You pulled beomgyu into a hug while you snuggled into his chest. You stayed like this. Hearing the calm beating of his heart that matched your own. Your arms around him and his around you. Even though there was negatives about living in the busy city, you still loved it. Solely for the reason that this city brought him to you, the love of your life.

.

.

.

=====================================

Took me a while to write this cause i have like 5 other ideas drafted out :’) hope you like this!!

[mirrorballparkers]

his home [peter parker]

summary: no matter what happens, you were his home and his safe place. you had each other.

warnings: peter being cute as always + my bad writing (there’s some angst if u squint ig??)

words: 1.9k

authors note: hi enjoy love u xoxo

 ~

“ouch!”

peter winces in pain as he reaches up for the pancake mix in the upper pantry, trying not to make any noise for he didnt want to let you see him in pain, or wake you up. he thought you looked adorable in your star wars pjama bottoms and his blue midtown sweater; hair slightly messed up from moving too much overnight. he hums a familiar tune, bobbing his head slightly as he slowly gathers all the ingredients from various areas in the tiny kitchen he shared with his aunt, who was thankfully still asleep and would scold him for simply attempting to cook - he wasn’t quite good at it.

as peter mixes the chocolate chips into the pancake batter, he hears small footsteps approaching him. trying hard not to smile like a complete moron, which failed, he turns around to see you – dreary eyed and hair still fluffed up. his whole face brightens up, heart fluttering as he walks over to you - his whole world.

“hey, whatcha doing up so early?” he asks in a sweet tone. peter was always going to be smitten and shy with you, didn’t matter how long you’ve been together - he was always shy.

“kept hearing a bunch of pots clattering, figured you had broken something,” you tease, walking up to him and giving him a side hug. “what’s all this?” you inquired, tilting your head.

peter laughs softly as he shuts his eyes, engulfing you into a full hug. “i wanted to make you breakfast and bring it to you in bed,” he gestured towards the mess behind him, you giggle in response, “but i guess i was maybe too loud? and i might suck at cooking?” he spoke in a sheepish tone, pulling away from you as he leans his against the counter. “are you hungry?” before you could answer, your stomach made a slight grumbling noise - telling peter that it was quite evident that you were in need for some pancakes.

“uh...i guess i am.” you laugh, trying to avoid eye contact as your cheeks grow rosey.

peter tries his best not to giggle, knowing you were embarrassed. “you look so adorable omg when you blush, baby,” he spoke warmly.

“why don’t you go lay back down? i’ll bring you your pancakes when they’re done, cutie.”

“if you count a doggie bed in your living room with ten different blankets breakfast in bed, i’m definitely in.” you scoff mockingly, walking over to the pancake batter in the orange bowl , picking up the spoon as you slightly mix it and yawing to yourself.

peter playfull rolls his eyes, biting his lip as he looks over at you poking at the mix. adoring your puzzled face as you probably were thinking that he had done everything completely wrong. “hey! i tried to get her to let us sleep in my bed, but you know her, she’s super protective.” he pouts, his cheeks turning a soft rose color that made his infinitesimal amount of freckles appear more.

he looked down at his tattered up hands, that had gotten messed up due to fighting this dude last night while you were asleep. he tried his best to hide the excruciating pain that was forming, not wanting you to know he wasn’t a hundred percent fine. he had told you many times the night before that it would clear up by the morning, only for the pain to increase.

“i gotta hand it to you, though, pete - you didn’t completely mess up this batter.” you chuckle, “all that’s missing is chocolate. d’ya have any?”

“i do,” peter nods, walking over to you and gently putting his hand over your dainty one that was holding the whisk. “but i wanted to be the one baking, babe. i got this!” he leans forward, kissing your cheek - smiling as the faint blush appears on your cheeks. you giggle softly as you rub his hand with your thumb, only for him to quietly wince at the pain.

your smile suddenly fades, eyes falling on his tattered up hand, “pete,” he instantly notices your mood drop, quickly pulling his hand away from you. “it’s still hurting you?” you asked cautiously.

“n-no! no, babe, it’s nothing. i’m fine.” peter lies, a nervous laugh escapes his lips as he walks to the other side of the kitchen, avoiding being close to you in fear of worrying you.

“peter, don’t. i know you’re lying.” you say, one hand on your hip and a stern yet worrisome look on your face. as much as you were proud of your boyfriend for what he did, it still terrified you more than anything. all you wanted was for him to be safe.

“how’d you know?” he asked.

“for one, you were stuttering. you always stutter when you lie. plus, you walked away from me. gives it away every time.” peter sighs, feeling guilty that he made you feel like that. sometimes he felt maybe it would be easier on you if you weren’t dating some guy who was also a superhero.

“yikes, i’m that bad of a liar, huh?” peter asks, making his way back towards you and fiddling with his thumbs.

“just a bit, yeah.” you both giggle as you reach over to hold his injured hand. placing your hand in his, very gently so you wouldn’t hurt him, he looks up at you with those pretty brown eyes and smiles.

“sorry i made you worry.” he says in a soft tone; the type that made you forget why you were upset, where you just wanted to hold him and keep him safe forever. you had only known for about two months now, peter accidentally webbed your hands together and yes it was the cutest time, and it’s been quite difficult getting used to seeing a new bruise or cut somewhere surfacing your sweet boy.

it was absolutely impossible to be upset with peter for longer than two seconds. everything, absolutely everything, about his sweet face made your chest fill up with nothing but butterflies and sweet things. the more his sweet brown eyes filled with sadness or worry, the more you wanted to hold him and protect him.

“it’s okay. but you have to do one thing for me,”

“hmm?”

you shoot him a goofy grin, “let me finish making the pancakes.”

peter dramatically leans his head back, groaning loudly, “noooo i wanted to do this for you!”

he was a boy who likes simple things: simple things for his simple person — and you were his person.

“mmmm, no. you’re hurt, you could easily burn yourself pete. not gonna risk it.” you tell him, earring another dramatic groan from the pretty boy in front of you.

you being your finger up to his cute lips, shushing him quietly, “relax, pretty boy, it’ll be fine i swear. lucky for you i’m a pretty good cook.” you teased before walking away from him to complete what he had first started.

peter held his hands up in defense, a light and adorable chuckle escaping his lips as he leaned back on the counter and watched you proceed to make the pancakes. he tried to focus on anything else in the room, but his eyes always landed on you.

it was distracting to peter, your beauty. every single part of you. not just your features, but who you were as a person. you were lambent with kindness and goodness, a field of flowers; everything about you was good. peter couldn’t quite contain himself, he needed to be close to you. he felt warm and safe when he was close; he didn’t feel like he was in danger, as he usually did when he was spider-man. with you, peter was safe and sound.

he walks over to you quietly, eyeing how you were placing the pancake mix onto the hot pan, careful not to mess anything up in the process, you wanted it to be perfect just for your boy. he places his head on your shoulder, feeling airy and warm the minute he felt your soft touch.

so much better, he thought.

“sorry i worry you so much,” he said, his warm cheeks pressed against your skin, never wanting to leave your side, in fear of you getting hurt or forgetting about him. that was peters fear;

instead of telling him to go sit down, you adjust yourself to where it were fully facing him, cupping his cheek gently and rubbing it every so softly with your thumb. gosh, it was like you were face to face with an angel.

peter was absolutely, positively emerald. he made you feel so soft and peaceful. his doleful eyes with little specks of green, freckled cheeks, in which someday in the spring you wanted to lay him down on your lap so you could count them. there were infinitesimal amounts of them, like stars in the galaxy. it was almost fairytale-like; then again, being with peter was a fairytale.

“you’re here with me, yeah?”

he nods, glossy eyes, but he wasn’t going to cry; not when he felt safe with you.

“i always am.”

“then why should i worry?” you asked.

you had a pretty good point, peter thought. he was there, with you, his home. nothing bad was going to happen. the two of you had each other and that’s what mattered.

“i love you so much.” peter finally smiled, that smile that was infectious, cute, and sweet. nobody smiled like peter, nobody.

“i love you more, pete. now go sit down and relax, i made some pretty darn good pancakes.” you poke his shoulder, earning a quote darling laugh from peter as you hand him his plate of chocolate chip pancakes.

it was moments like these - the intimate, tiny, sweet moments - that reminded peter of why his life was so darn sweet. he had you; he always, always had you, his sweet person.

peter’s home.

_

taglist: @plushparker @akaspiderman @mcuspidey @naturallytom @sunshinehollandd @maryjparkers @retroparkers @cutesparker

[teenwolfhot]

Into the unknown scott McCall imagine part 1

" scott .... scott ..... Scott .... SCOTT .... SCOTT ...SCOTT " a voice was pulling McCall back to reality when he felt pain in his shoulder it registered to him that his girlfriend (y/n) looked angery and was turning red while looking at him " hello... aren't you listening i said what are we going to do about the party ?" Scott just blinked " fantastic you weren't listening .... im guessing im talking to a wall better yet I'll get a boyfriend who does ... maybe issac or ... or theo " grabbing gour things scott was about to say something " hey guys " it was liam and mason you rolled your eyes getting up and away from scott and the younger ones

" what's up with (y/l/n) ?" Liam asked scott he zoned out again "uh what ?" mason and liam sighed " you've been distracted lately McCall " Jackson sitting opposite sides to him " hey i ran into (y/n) she seems upset about you " stiles sitting next to scott while lydia and malia was behind " that girl loves to rant especially on you Scott "

" literary what have been on your mind recently that kept you completely occupied with that nonsense?" lydia the strawberry blond asked " its peter " stiles cringed while Jackson gagged " noway McCall its a folklore " kira and malia looked at each other " scott ... scott ?" Jackson sighed " the thing is lydia McCall here got bitten by something while doing a job with me and argent in a small town ... and well he got bitten and well " stiles looked shocked " you said the job was intel on new werewolves not trying to get killed " Jackson laughed "yeah well McCall went pale for a couple of days then .... his eyes changed " stiles eyes squinted " scott what colour are your eyes ?"

Scott turned away but malia shoved his face backed " show us McCall " his eyes didn't turn alpha colours " scott what happened on the job ?" scott didn't say a word " McCall they need to know or else i will " before Jackson could finish theo comea running in " we have company and it ain't werewolves " heavy breathing and slowly sitting down

The door flew opened and three men walked in one muscular in a suit one rugged with a leathet jacket with a smirk on his face , the other his eyes are different and have blood stained dripping down both side of his lips "shit ...shit ...shit " stiles keeps saying while malia was ready with her claws and kira out with her sword

McCall didn't move " LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WOULD YOU PLEASE KINDLY LEAVE THESE PROMISES.... BEFORE IT GETS UGLY " the one in the suit kindly smiled as everyone hurried to leave squirming out of the buliding " so little group of supernatural with a well .... a banshee " the one with the blood came closer to lydia " banshee that can pridict death with a werewolf.. or a turning hybrid werewolf " the man looking at scott " let me introduce ourselves I'm klaus mikaelson I'm the first hybrid werewolf vampire " he sit opposite sides of the gang while " im Elijah mikaelson and this is my younger brother kol mikaelson we're not like my other bother klaus " sitting down beside klaus " we came to negotiate a peace treated on the basis of scott McCall "

---------------------------------

" so do we have a deal McCall?" Stiles and liam sitting during the negotiations while the ladies leave for other issues " scott you can't take this deal ... your walking in blind... we do not know them ... trust me ... we do not deal with this kind especially when we don't know their strengths " stiles whsipering " human whispering to your boy isnt working we have super hearing our power our amplified " drinking a soda then crushing it stiles gulped while liam was trying to control his anger " hey beta you dont need to draw your crawls you know... we know you have anger issues but .... we know all your strengths and weaknesses but we won't use it against you because we know a void person who's ready to kill us all gerard argent ring bell " Elijah fixing his cufflinks " so McCall the deal is set ... argent crossed our path and well he killed half a dozen of people in our town ... plus a few members of my family " klaus eyes turned a different shade

" you got a deal ... mikaelson on one condition (y/l) (l/n) a girl im dating stay out of the agreement no one hurts or use her .... especially in a different situation understand " scott flashing his eyes but Elijah and kol sit back when klaus moves forward " i see you embracing your new powers then McCall " as the three stood up " see you at your house then McCall " as the three walked away " text lydia get intel on each of them ... especially the klaus guy i want to know everything understand " scott brushing passed Isaac and mason towards his bike

" what's the deal then stiles ?" Isaac whispering " a new kind of supernatural just popped up and the deal that scott have with klaus guy a whole new shit ..... plus we have more issues do you know what happened to scott "

Isaac signed " i do but i can't tell you here ... not with the girls here it will only hurt (y/n) in this situation " stiles didn't understand what isaac saying till " hey guys you seen scott ?" As all three of you hear scott engine roared you didn't say a word but gaped " so is the deal done or what ?" Isaac said ignoring you are there " what deal ?" Frowning " are you going to tell me what's up with my boyfriend orbdo i have tk demand like a whiney bitch " starring at isaac and stiles " she's your problem... see you at McCall " brushing pass going towards alison and lydia whos already in the car

You waiting for an answer " look (y/n) scott ... his ..his ..his going through changes ... and .. and you need to back off a little and let him breath ... soooo that's all i have to say cause other than that I've got nothing " running to his jeep while malia and liam are in the back seat leaving you with a jackson whittmore " don't look at me sugar his your boyfriend... all i know i would dump McCall ass and move on " jackson walking away

You were confused and angry that you didn't get the answers you're looking for especially when everyone is ignoring you and well giving you short answers " fine I'll find out myself if j have to " stomping on the floor

----------------

Meanwhile back at beacon hills memorial hospital things are weird bodies being dropped off unexplained death toll " okay ... okay .... okay " frantic sheriff slams his phone down while a deputy parrish " soo what are we going to do now FBI is here especially we got ATF who are they anyways " looking at the people in blue jackets questioning doctors and local people around " this is great I've got ATF and FBI on our backs " slaunting on a chair " sheriff please tell me what's going on ?" Melissa McCall was seeing people all round her question after questions and a swat team outside the hospital

Deputy parrish sighed " we've been getting calls of dead bodies everywhere especially drained of blood considering a sycophant or a maniac with a tendency of draining his or her victims " parrish whispering while melissa went pale " you think this is super...supernatural " even in a lower voice " we aren't sure because its all in shambles and we're figuring it out but for now we have to release a statement to the public immediately "

Right on cue derek hale and chris argent walks through the door with a girl in dereks arms " anyone ...anyone ....anyone ... please help her " melissa hurrided to help " whats her condition?" Checking her eyes and pulse " fetch the bed and get her a room now " as the porter removes the girl from derek the group moves outside the room while the others worked on the girl

" explain hale ?" Sheriff standing ready for questions " we were driving back to beacon hills when a black SUV was smashed by a white Sudan van and multiple officers gun down plus two victims dead on the spot except her ... we found her on a fence wounded and terrified " braeden looked round " she kept mumbling and mumbling we weren't sure what she's saying till argent explained " chris was hiding his gun " she said the word vampire " chris didnt even blink while saying it " ive sedated her before we got here she was frantic and didn't calm down only now she's like this but we didn't see any other wounds "

" anything else you found out there ?" Parrish asked " no ... alot of blood on the pavement and the car looked to be an accidental blow but other than that no suspicion " thats when ATF and FBI agent came popping up " look sheriff we get it ... you're new to this but me and my team are here to stay ... unexplained body count plus a whole lot of missing people so ... expect more from us rather than leaving " the blond woman walked away with her assistant while " ATF agent " are you aware of any gun crimes in beacon hills or illegal selling or gun in the last few months sheriff?" Two men ready to write down anything " not that i know of why ?" The man in the blue jacket sighed " did you know in the last 3 months a couple of your police warehouse were targeted for supply of guns and other units " the man was eyeing argent " im legal to have these especially they are licensed officer " argent wasn't to pleasant with the officer " we will be in touch " handing over a little card

" what the hell was that ?" Chris sighed " i dont see ATF or FBI agents here .... if its the body bag and counting thats okay but illegal drugs and weaponry dealing isnt beacon hills " chris sighing " i need to have a look into what Gerrard is doing maybe he has something to do with it " kissing melissa on the forehead before leaving

Derek looking round " anyone heard from scott ?" melissa shakes her head " thought so "

---------------------------

Evening

" so .... aren't we going to talk about the elephant in the room ..." silence is showing more often " look scott i don't care about the issue you have with (y/n) right now but isaac and theo even liam told you had a deal with three grown up men who .... stiles says know us ... i dont care if you're not ready to talk but we had enough of your pathetic waiting games alright " stiles looking anywhere but at the table

" Jackson knows even derek but we your best friend dont know and you're pushing us away ... we need to if its a threat we can deal but if its your issues than thats find but keeping us in the dark is not okay" kira sounding frustrated " they need to know scott especially alison shes digging on the mikaelson as we speak " isaac grabbing a drink in the fridge

" fine I'll tell you but you might all want to sit down especially you stiles "

( event leading up scott pov

Two weeks ago argent got a intel on this supernatural about werewolves turning into something else more ... powerful

I wanted to check it out so i took the opportunity to call Jackson while he was in london about a group he suggested it was wise to go down to London . So me and derek including isaac went without stiles because i told him to wait here to protect you guys if anything happened he will be there like a heads up . I was calm with it so it wouldn't be a problem ... the plan was we go to london check this intel argent talked about and this group of supernatural . Leading up to the day i had to come up with a excuse to go to london because my mom wouldn't let me go so i had derek come up with an idea that he found something that could help me improve my skills as werewolf in london .

At first my mom had her suspicions but she agreed only and only if i take isaac with me and i agreed the only other person who knows what and where is alison because she was the eyes ans ears of the warehouse

The day before we were about to head to London i had the feeling that something sketchy will happen , i didn't trust this intel that argent had i told isaac he said its fine but yet he too was wary of the information argent got

)

" youre telling me that you guys went to london and something bad happened.... what happened that was so bad that neither one of you can talk other than Jackson " lydia slamming her hands down " I'm getting there "

( continue on

The information of a gang outside of London near Lincolnshire of a warehouse an experiment on supernatural.... werewolves to worked on their strengths and skills . We all thought it was that but it wasnt

So when we landed in London it was the evening isaac and i were already wanting to check the intel but alison told us to wait three days then we check it out . Jackson told us of a small group who being turned into more supernatural and that its beginning to be a threat in england and he was ome of the werewolves helping out .

Jackson told us he doesn't know who runs the place nor where argent got the intel from but when argent and alison went to meet his special firend where he got the intel he was murdered

" hold up ... you're telling us that the person who gave argent intel on this was murdered and you didn't come home after that warning " isaac and scott looked at each other " we wanted to know this information if it will help other werewolves and supernatural " isaac simple said

" fine carry on "

( we were supposed to only be in London for 5 days and my mum was being suspicious and i got tongued tied and told her ... she freaked out but she knew argent was with us so she was calmer . The night before the accident we managed to pull surveillance on the warehouse we saw the same people you saw today the three men

One in a suit the other raging blood addiction the other not so much , we thought their not the threat when one of them klaus i belive said the word I'm immortal invincible because not only I'm i a werewolf im a living breathing vampire

We were shocked at the information but at how old he was 1,000 years old walking and breathing in the daylight especially with fangs and werewolves eyes . Beyond that we didn't know what to do with the information but it lead to me getting something argent didnt tell us of his personal plan .

He busted into the warehouse with armed force guns along with alison we didn't know what to do derek was furious on this and couldn't stay put so he tried to rescue argent and alison but it all break loose

Fighting here there blood was spilling they were invincible we trying staking them sliver bulltes wolfband eveything nothing can penetrate him not a scratch we definitely outnumbered until the guy came from behind and bit me on the left arm his companion laughed " no way to treat unwanted guest klaus " the pain from my arm was excruciating it didnt heal either his eyes were different no glowing nothing

He barely left us alive all he said was i like him lets keep him alive

)

Nobody said a word after scott recanted the story of the night he got bitten lydia was lost for words " how ... how ... how ... how ?" Lydia expression says alot

" so thats why those men were familiar with you scott because he bite you " liam was shocked stiles didn't know what to say " how can you keep this from me how ?"

[blackgirlblues]

Being A Black Girl: And Chasing Your Dreams.. Yikes.

Hi, 

It’s me, your resident black girl back with some new shit to rant about. I’ve been posting a few screenshots of short poems and paragraphs I’ve been writing on my phone as a way to heal and get over Capricorn boy from my last post on here and I see you guys like and reblog. Thank you for showing love, although it makes me sad that so many of you seem to be going through the same range of emotions I am. I’m sorry. 

I know it’s a lonely place to be in. 

But, on the bright side, I’ve got a lot of new followers joining the diary/manual/rant page that is blackgirlology and it’s nice cause I think it’s becoming a little bit of a community. So, in a way, were never really going through any of these emotions alone. If you’ve found this page-you’re part of a community. Bask in it. 

Anyways, that aside, a lot has happened since I last spoke to you. I don’t know if any of you may remember, and for some new people this will be a surprise. But I’m actually a singer songwriter from Ireland. Moved to London a year and a half ago to pursue my music dream and that’s how I met Capricorn boy whos been the source of all my poems. 

Throughout this time in between, I’ve been trying to chase my dreams, and chase them relentlessly. and this summer i did just that, let me tell you, what im about to tell you guys, is to put it simply, wild. I’ll just cut to the chase. 

It all started in July. I’d been in London for quite a long time now, over a year and now have a manager who’s my best friend first and foremost. We’ll call her Maya. I met her in my first week of moving to London in the student halls I was staying at and we became best friends pretty quick. She studies music business, so it made sense and she just naturally ended up taking up the role as my music manager. Shes seen everything. The songs I wrote about Capricorn boy, the tears, everything. And she saw everything this summer. 

I saw an ad for a record label opportunity in London. It was advertised on my university facebook page; a new indie label, looking for demo submissions for a competition they were setting up to find their new signee. I sent a screenshot to Maya who agreed I should send my stuff in. I did, they liked it, I got a meeting, we were sent terms and conditions for the competition. We signed it, the rest was supposed to be history. 

Big yikes. 

There’s so many layers to this story that I will be shortening it, just because it can get very draining for me to talk about or even write about. I’ve healed from it i think, but I still want to put it here and write it about to finally close that chapter and be done with my feelings about what happened to me and my music. 

Basically, the whole competition, the record label, the dickhead CEO, it was all a scam. I had accidentally signed away the master rights to my new song to a record label started by a fake CEO who was committing fraud and known for tricking young artists into handing over their master rights so he could profit off of them, for power. 

It was a mess. Another contestant told me and Maya when we were outside of their office. Just minutes before we were under the impression that I was doing an interview for Billboard Magazine. Honestly, I never truly believed it. Shit was too good to be true. 

But she told us everything. How he was actually a run away from Spain, where he was caught and exposed for doing the exact same thing to artists there, how he didn’t have any money to fund the competition he had somehow roped all of us into, how he was illegally avoiding paying his team, how none of the creatives we had collaborated with for photoshoots etc were paid, how everything was a lie, how he didnt have any connections, and how he was trying to convince me specifically to sign a 360 deal with his label. 

Which, guys, I’m not stupid. After the first week of being with the label for the competition and letting my song live through their disastrous marketing campaign, Maya and I long decided that regardless of what they said, I would not under any circumstances be signing anything with any entity of their company. 

After being told the truth, I had to sit down. You see, when I came across this opportunity, I thought this was finally the life I’d been manifesting coming true. I had begun to grow in my spirituality and start journaling, writing down my manifestations, and getting to work with a record label who would later offer me a fair contract before I turn 20 was one of the manifestations I had written down every night before I went to bed. However, what I’d gotten was the exact opposite. 

I remember, me, Maya, and 2 of the girls from the competition all stood around in a circle outside of their new office that the CEO also hadnt paid for wondering what our next move would be with this new information. There was still 2 other contestants inside who had no idea what was really going on was an elaborate scam. One of them wanted to go in and expose them on the spot. I said no, we had to go in and pretend like everything was normal until we figured out what to do afterwards. 

So in I went, plastering the fakest smile on my face and pretended like I still thought I was about to be speaking with Billboard Magazine. Once I got out, I broke down in Maya’s arms. 

I went home to my flatmates, Ellie and Bea and cried for hours before I had to go work a 7 hour shift at a pizza place. 

I stayed in bed, and cried, and cried. and cried again. I didn’t get out of bed unless I needed too. The only people I talked too were my flatmates E and B and Maya. 

Everything was sorted out eventually, a lot more happened, but as I’ve been writing this article for you guys, I realised that all of that stuff is no longer relevant to my journey and isnt something I want to bring back into my energetic circle because I’ve made peace with the fact that a lot of people who betrayed me when I was at my lowest, peace with the fact that these contestants who wanted to “work together” to get out of this mess, actually wanted to save their own asses and leave me in the cold. 

But I still got out of it and I’m still here. 

I nearly got sued by a man with less than 20 pound to his company account online, but hey, I’m here.

I guess why I’m telling you guys this really short account of my summer is to both record it for myself but also to say its okay to flop, its okay to fail. I did both this summer. and thank god i did. it was the best thing that ever happened to me. 

following your dreams is scary, doing it as a black girl is terrifying because society has already kind of set you up to fail. there’s already misconceptions about what you do, who you are, where you come from and how good you’re going to be at what you do. its almost like we cant fail and we need to work 10 times harder to obtain half of what the average white person will get. and sometimes it can feel like we dont have any space to fail or make mistakes because of this but let me tell you thats not true. 

if anything, the universe will put you in places that will force you to grow through the mistakes you make. and thats exactly what happened to me this summer. 

i chased my dream so relentlessly i ended up in an environment i thought i manifested, i thought was good for me, only for the universe to show me that that specific environment i’d been wishing to be in is the furthest from what i need right now in my life. 

this so called failure showed me that not everybody who smiles can be trusted, and that people can be way more deceiving than i ever thought, especially when push comes to shove and they need to save themselves. you start to see the real them when it starts to get tense. the people who seem to be around you when you’re doing good will most likely dissapear when things start to go south, including some of your oldest friends. you will get radio silence on their end. be upset. cry. but after that be glad that this situation revealed their true colours. 

and then never put any more energy into them again. 

this failure showed me how fucking strong i am. how resilient and kind i am even in the face of disrespect and actual evil. it showed me how much i can care for someone who i believe is at a risk of losing it all, and showed me that this will not always be reciprocated. and for a while i thought that meant that i had to harden myself up and grow a shell. but i dont think so. i will not allow the things ive been through to make me into a hard person when i was born soft. i mean now, im a little rough around the edges, jagged enough to cut anyone who comes too close with some of that bad energy, but soft enough to hold myself tight and glue myself back together when i need to. soft enough to hold the people who held me this summer. soft enough to help people who i know deserve it. 

im a good person in a shitty world, i don’t need to match the world and become a shitty person to survive. 

after all of this happened, i stopped writing music. 

i haven’t written anything properly or produced anything in months and sometimes i get worried that ive completely lost my talent. but thats another thing that this failure taught me, i can never truly lose whats meant to be mine. i know that i was put on this earth to create change, to inspire, to be an activist and a voice for people who dont have one. i know i was put here to do it through a creative medium and right now i still think that is music. 

i think i just need to stop being so scared to start again, to learn my craft again.

i used to be so scared of failure but now i am so thankful for it and the lessons its taught me. i had so much hurt and pain and hatred in my heart for the universe for, in my head, doing this to me. but then i realised that the universe never does anything to you, it does it for you. all of this happened in my best interest and while i definitely didnt understand at the time, i get it now.

thank you universe for the worst summer of my life. 

and my black ass will be continuing to chase my dreams relentlessly, failing, tripping and falling on my ass until i get to the very top. 

besides, if everything had just gone right, that wouldnt have been very interesting, would it?

[snexy-the-snail]

A Little Game

Sam knew part of the risks dating an archangel was the fact he was ridiculously overpowered. It wasn’t that Gabriel did it on purpose, he just didnt really grasp that shrinking people was actually pretty damn terrifying, though at this point though he had gotten used to it.

Gabriel wouldn’t hurt him, despite being a prick at times he was very gentle with him no matter what.

“I know you’re trying to sneak up on me.” He says rolling his eyes. He smiles a bit when he heard a huff, no doubt Gabriel was pouting at the moment. Funnily enough he did that a lot, Sam had gotten used to it at this point.

“Awe Samshine you’re no fun.”

Sam chuckles slightly and turns around in the chair to look at the archangel, who was indeed pouting like a kid. He knew what was coming next, either Gabriel would drag him to have a candy filled abomination or he’d be crammed into his archangel’s stomach.

“What can I say, my sixth sense got better when I became an archangel’s snack.” He replies with a small grin. He looks Gabriel up and down watching curiously for any tells on which treatment he would be getting. Judging by the sly look it was going to be a game.

“Oh~ shall we put it to the test Samshine?” He asks with a wide grin. Sam raises an eyebrow as Gabriel clasps his hands together excitedly. He wasnt sure if he liked that look. He takes a step back when Gabriel goes to snap quickly putting his hands up in defense.

“Ah ah, rules first.” He says quickly. He had made the mistake a few times of not getting the rules before the game which usually ended up with him getting caught a lot sooner than he’d like.

“Fine fine rules first.” Gabriel says sighing dramatically as if it was such an inconvenience to tell him. Sam rolls his eyes and crosses his arms waiting for his archangel to explain what twisted game they would be playing.

“It’s going to a cat and mouse type game. You get a minute to hide and have to avoid me for twenty minutes or I’ll get a treat.” Gabriel says with a wide grin obviously showing his teeth off on purpose.

Sam sighs and shakes his head fondly knowing this wasnt the worst game Gabriel had come up with, and at least he had time to hide. If he survived the twenty minutes they cuddled instead, it was always a given. Gabriel liked physical contact after all.

“No using your powers to cheat.” He adds on. He grins at the look of utter annoyance on his archangel’s face. That would buy him some time that and the fact he knew the bunker inside and out. This would be easy as long as he didnt  get cocky.

“Ugh fine. You’re soooooo boring sometimes.” Gabriel whines. He snaps and instantly Sam was tiny. He was a lot smaller than he was used too which meant either Gabriel was a little too eager or the archangel wanted him to get colder so he would surrender in the end.

“Hey! Give me some credit, I put up with your games.” Sam says, grinning slightly before hurrying off. He knew the minute was already ticking down and he wanted a good hiding place. He settled down and hoped he could make it the twenty minutes. He knew deep down he wouldn’t but it was always a fun little game.

“Ready or not, here I come~”

Sam huddles down further in his hiding place determined to win this game.

There was one minute left and the archangel was obviously getting frustrated with not being able to find him. Sam grins widely and peeks at Gabriel from his hiding place.

“Oh come on! You’re legs are so short! Where the hell did you go?” Gabriel whines checking behind a potted plant. He had to give the Winchester some credit, he was a damn good hider. He might even win this one.

Sam was counting down the seconds when something brushed against his leg. He jumped back and turned to face what it was, all blood draining from his face when he saw the freakishly large spider. It was easily bigger than him and was looking at him curiously which couldn’t be good.

“Oh fuck!” He hisses out stumbling back from the spider and out of his hiding place, said spider slowly stalking him out from behind the bookcase. Note to self burn the bookshelf, or have Gabriel smite the whole bug population one of those.

“There you are Samshine~”

Gabriel was on top of him before he could even process what was happening. He was up in the air in seconds, away from the eight legged abomination on the floor. This was one of the few times he was thankful he had been snagged off the ground.

“Alright you found me, only took you like twenty-nine minutes and like fifty seconds.” Sam says smugly. If it wasn’t for that damn spider he would’ve won. Things could be worse, a giant spider could be snacking on his insides.

“You’re just pissy I found you.” Gabriel says with a huff. Sam rolls his eyes knowing the archangel would be playing true to his role as the ‘cat’

“Slightly.” He admits with a sigh. He lets a startled noise out when Gabriel plops him.into his mouth, sealing him in easily. It was a lot smaller than he was used to, so everything seemed a lot larger than he was used to.

“Be careful! I know how you get.” He calls out, grumbling when Gabriel responds by pushing him around with a bit more force than needed.

He allowed himself to be pushed around used to the archangel’s playfulness by now. It definitely had been a lot more terrifying the first time there hadn’t been any warning and he was fairly certain he was going to die the first time.

He was used to this by now even if it was something he shouldn’t be used to. He rolls his eyes as he was squashed up against Gabriel’s palette, the familiar tugging sensation squeezing his body as Gabriel sucked on him like a piece of candy. Any pain slowly melting away as the knots from hunting were worked out.

He sighs heavily as he was squished back down by the slick muscle,  salvia coating every inch of his body by now. This was never unpleasant just annoying at most it was oddly pleasant at best. It was nice to be tucked away from the world when nothing could touch you at all.

“You doing okay Samshine?”

Oh another wonderful thing about an archangel boyfriend, mind communication.

“Yeah I’m fine.” Sam says with a small smile. He always found it nice when Gabriel made sure he wasnt being too rough with him. He got to pick the movies for a month after Gabriel had accidentally broken his arm he healed it instantly but it freaked the archangel out at how easily Sam could get hurt.

“You sure?”

Sam rolls his eyes and stretches out barely making a dent in the space around him. Gabriel really went small this time. Maybe that’s why he was being so cautious.

“Gabe, I promise that I’m okay.” He reassures his boyfriend, giving his tongue a friendly pat. He grins slightly when he was pushed back gently in response. He was shifted around a bit more before he started sliding back. Looks like Gabriel finally got his fill of playing around with him. Five minutes, wow that was a new low time. Usually it was around ten minutes, not that he was complaining it was just strange.

He shifts slightly and grimaces when he was swallowed very surprised when he got whacked by the uvula. His size was really different usually it took a lot more than just a swallow to get him down. The pressure wasn’t as bad either, just when he got down to the archangel’s stomach where the soft flesh squeezed his down into the area.

It technically wasn’t a human’s stomach so the colors were breathtaking. While Cas’s stomach was like a galaxy swirling around Gabriel’s was more of a warm sunset, mostly reds and oranges fading into eachother. It made reading relaxing down here.

He sighed happily and stretched out, looking around with a slight grin. At this size the folds cradled him more than he had expected and admittedly it was pretty nice.

“Comfy?” Gabriel asks teasingly, his voice rumbling around him like thunder. It was always a lot easier to get a snippet of an Angel’s true voice when tucked away inside.

Sam scowls a bit when the area was patted, face planting into the soft flesh in front of him. It really was the safest place, even of a bit weird.

“I would be a lot more if you didnt keep flinging me around.” He says grumpily trying to settle again. He sunk slightly into the 'floor’ of the stomach and it felt slightly like being in a hammock, a bit disorditing honestly.

“Dont be so grumpy, I didn’t mean to upset you Samshine.” Gabriel says playfully. Sam shakes his head fondly leaning against the stomach wall again, very smug to feel his archangel gently kneading at the flesh this time.

“Mmhm.” Sam says with a small grin. He stretches around and relaxes into the gentle movement of the flesh smushing against him. This was one of the ways he actually got rest. It was hard to dream of Lucifer when the grace he was surrounded in was associated with love and safety.

“Well it’s been fun but I’m going to get some sleep.” He says with a sigh. He shifts slightly getting more comfortable before giving the flesh above him a small pat. It was easy to drift off after that. He didnt realize he was that tired until he practically passed out.

“Night Sammy.”

Gabriel purrs out. It set his mind at ease knowing he was tucked away, safe from the world inside his archangel.

[emikvs]

﹤𝙽𝙰𝙽𝙰 𝙺𝙾𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚂𝚄, 𝚂𝙷𝙴 / 𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙲𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙴﹥; * - hello EMIKO " EMI " SATO. long time no see. i know a lot about you. like how you're TWENTY ONE, how you're a CLASSICS major,  and in fact.. how you LIE AND TELL EVERYONE YOU STUDIED ABROAD FOR A YEAR WHEN YOU WERE ACTUALLY IN REHAB. would be a shame if it got out, wouldn't it ? so let's play a game. 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙴 ?

*itzy vc* hey hey hey ! SDBJWBDJW what’s up......its xan aha ... this is gonna be the biggest mess ever ...just winging it as i go. and u know what ? thats on on brand babey ! lets get it ...TW: drug use/mention, accidents/hospitalization ( just in case)

backstory

virginia born and raised babey ! she’s the youngest of five siblings and ...it shows. SJDBJWBDJW growing up would have been pretty chaotic had it not been for the fact that her dad was a pretty well-respected police officer in their town ! him & her mom were high school sweethearts which made no damn sense to emiko considering they’re still happily married...the concept just seems fake to her </3

while her parents had a lot of  mushy love for each other, when it came to their kids they opted to take a more emotionally distanced kind of parenting style bc they didnt wanna like spoil their kids or anything but.....it wasnt exactly the best plan ! emi and all her siblings just learned to be very good liars JDSBWBDJW as kids with strict parents do

being the youngest emi took a while to get into her rebellious phase. for a while she’d just watch her older siblings sneak out and party and do walks of shame and all that jazz...and while she was always down to help them get out of trouble none of them ever really trusted her ? since she was the baby they figured she’d be the most likely to snitch which just made her really ///: bc she wanted to be included so bad

flash forward to senior year of high school and finally emi’s like . okay fuck this it’s MY turn ! her dad had recently decided to get into politics with some encouragement from the police chief so he was busy with his career and her mom was busy helping him. it was the perfect time to do what she wanted since it was less likely she’d get caught

so she goes to this graduation party.....and it’s BAD like she gets fucked up & carried away so she calls her oldest sister ( who had come back into town for emi’s graduation ) to come pick her up & on the way to get emi from this house party, her sister ends up getting into an accident 

she didn’t die though JSBJDSBBWJDBWJDBJWDW just broke some stuff and ended up needing surgery ): and emi obviously got busted that night by her parents which ... wasnt pretty at all especially bc they low key blamed her for her sister’s accident which just made emi feel like pure shit babey ! 

visiting her sister in the hospital is what kinda sparked her fear of hospitals ! bc emi was like super guilty and paranoid that maybe her sister was gonna die or her surgery would go wrong and she’d essentially be at fault...it was just a lot of anxiety that turned into a genuine phobia of hospitals after that

but her sister made it she was okay and her dad used all the buzz and tragedy around his family to kinda boost his political career....which was ugly. her sister had been prescribed some pretty heavy pain killers for the pain & thats where things got.....messy

emi isnt sure when exactly it started but between the guilt she was harboring over her sister’s accident, the stress from her parents as her dad got further and further into virginia politics as well as college anxiety since she was about to start at the universoty of virginia.....she stole some oxy and thats what started what would be a very messy and tumultuous addiction  

as soon as she started college, emi felt as if some of the weight had been lifted. she was living away from her family for the first time and dorming so she promised herself she’d take these four years to grow and figure out who she is......except that didnt exactly happen. instead of exploring herself in a healthy way, emi was using drugs as a sort of escapism from her “old” self. she’s extremely smart and she loves her major, but her professors would often comment her papers had the energy of a “rambling and troubled mind”. by the time she was about to finish her sophomore year she was getting so high people would find her literally passed out in the dining hall. but no one was that worried bc for a good two years, she was a pretty high functioning addict. 

cue the summer after sophomore year when emi overdoses at a party. she woke up in a private hospital room with only her father sitting on the couch, the look on his face something she’ll never forget. while him and her mother knew exactly what happened to emi, they hadn’t told any of her siblings. or anyone at all, for that matter. instead her dad had informed the university emi would be taking a year off to privately study abroad and told emi that’s what she was going to tell people bc he’d just decided to run for mayor ! he essentially guilt-tripped her into thinking telling people the truth would be a selfish act, and one that would basically ruin the family reputation and make everyone really miserable JSDWDBWBDJW he also tells her she’s gonna be shipped off to rehab ! 

so she goes to rehab for a good seven months. everyone at school thinks she’s studying abroad in italy, and emi is literally just counting the days til she can go back home to her dorm bc she’s lonely !!! in rehab !!! and she gets that she should take it seriously but shes just so mad at her dad and herself and the world too ig ... just some good old fashioned angst ! but she finishes rehab and her dad got elected as mayor of her hometown in virginia and shes like good for u can i go back to school please JSBDWJDBJW and he says yes

so she’s back ! ready for the universe to give her a break.....ahaha.....

personality + tidbits

so emi......my baby......she’s a strange one. she’s that bitch that’s super nerdy but in the weirdest way like the stuff she’s into is so specific and just....generally stuff literally no one else would care about but to emi it’s like holy shit this is the coolest thing in the world JSBDJWBDJWBJD she knows a little about a lot so she has the tendency to come across as pretentious if you don’t know her outside of class when in reality she’s just read one too many random facts. also weird in the sense that she’s a STRONG believer in the paranormal and in aliens and in witchcraft and stuff like that as well as believing in things that seem “logical”. it can be confusing to people who view that stuff as silly that someone so smart would be into it. 

speaking of smart.....she’s a polygot which basically means she can speak a bunch of languages ! she’s self-taught, and since she’s a classics major some of her favorites to study include greek and latin ( dead language who ? ). she’s pretty chill about it though and if you wanted to learn she’d be the type that’s 100% down to teach you. she always learns the curse words first just you know....for the fun of it ! she probably has very specific “pet names” for everyone in the friend group in random languages 

anyway she’s also stupid. ASDJWBDWBJDBWJDWJD i mean like in the way that she makes the most .... impulsive decisions that usually have negative consequences. she’s the type to convince herself she knows exactly what she’s then come up with the worst plan you have ever heard in your life. an example of a dumb decision emi has made ? your girl ate a pot brownie the day after she got back in her dorm after rehab bc she convinced herself it was a good way to de-stress. some other dumb decisions include various drunk tattoos ( which thankfully haven’t been too bad save for the words eat me tattooed in small font on her ass ). also owns a stick & poke gun so she’s for sure tried to tattoo friends while intoxicated despite.....not being a tattoo artist ... she’s not even an art student .... SJBDJWBDJW....but she’s very very good at convincing people to join in on her dumb antics so be weary

big on photography !!! she loves taking pictures. always that one friend who reminds you to document the moment and you get annoyed but then when you want to post a picture on insta you’re thankful she was there <3 she has the energy of like .... the dad friend when you need support JSDBWBDJWBDJW she tries to be caring but it just turns into like ... emi high off her ass putting her hand on your shoulder and being like “you know fuck it man you’re amazing” not that good at the emotional stuff like she really wants to be but she legit doesn’t know how.......kinda accidentally turned into an emo kid bc she channels her feelings though some kick ass playlists and the notes app in her iphone instead of talking to people JSBDJWBJDBWJDBJ 

she’s high key struggling but she’s the type to be like no its fine this is fine life is a ride babey better hold on ! tries to keep things flirty and fresh 99% of the time but then you’ll witness the rare emi breakdown which.....involves a whole lot of tweets that will all be deleted within 24 hours and emi will in fact deny they ever existed

really a laid-back girl but the chaotic energy is there folks......she can also very easily get into her youngest child complex if she’s upset which just involves emi being a pain in the ass and everyone having to deal with it JSBDWBDJWBDJWBDJW  she likes to make it hard to say no to her.....not exactly manipulative but sometimes she can get close /: not listed in her fears but she is in fact scared of genuine love and affection ! it’s like she craves it so much she’s terrified abt what will happen if she ever gets it.......so she makes sure she’s never in danger of that by never getting into anything serious.....but then at night shes like damn . kinda want a freak to hold my hand rn and tell me they love me ... JSDBWBDJWBDJWBJDWJDW it’s all fun and games.............

ok thats it im done rambling.................this is so long..............and for what !!!!! i made her more of a clown than i intended but thats okay (: JSDBJWBDWJDBWJ emi might hate clowns but im embracing them ! 

[rubyatarah]

Rant // TW for car accident, feeling down, minor injury,

excessive whining, vlogbrothers youtube video reference, beautiful old tacoma met its untimely end and i’m being ridiculous, should just be grateful everyone was alright but thats not enough i must ruminate all night even though sleep would be very good

i am sad and upset because someone not paying attention totaled my truck that i was very attached to and now my independence feels like its been stolen from me but i feel bad for being upset because the person who pulled out in front of me was very stressed and they didnt mean to hurt anybody. not sure if their rear driver side door ripped off when they rolled or when i hit them but their dog ran away scared and it took a whole group of folks half an hour to find it. kind people passing by stopped to help, an old high school friend came and gave me a hug, my ex boyfriend up the rode came to pick me up, it was all so hopeful. a sad day and a very reassuring one. but it seems i’d only just forgotten about old wounds that made me terrified of driving or being in a car and now i think they’re back for some more torment. this is so cute for me. just being dramatic because everyone is okay. my foot is hurt from braking before smashing my front end in and being trapped there but mostly i’m actually mourning in earnest the loss of my dearest most reliable and nonjudgemental friend, a white 2001 toyota tacoma. extended cab. with a winch and an arb bumper and a matching canopy and stupidly big tires for such a little truck. haha still laugh about that and not be sad soon hopefully. little things break my happiness and that is a personal failure sure but my happiness is still broken and no one can take that away from me. jokes aside im suicidal lol and survivor’s guilt over a vehicle you accidentally personified that’s 1 year older than you is not something they tell you about in high school health class. can you tell it was my first? worked 6 days a week for a year at the closest full service restaurant i could ride my bike to to save up enough for such a beautiful thing and it took just about 3000000000 times shorter of an amount of time for it to all be over. i always felt a little sad when i put a sticker on the topper window in case it didnt live on forever with the truck. dang it dude. makes me think of when hank green said something like: “its much more difficult to build than it is to destroy,” but thats not what thats supposed to mean i dont think. anyway was that him or somebody else and he was quoting them? sorry if i love hank and john. i don’t have a dad ok let me have this one thing! ok its just that i couldn’t escape when i was dealing with a lot of not awesomeness at home or otherwise before i had the ability to drive myself wherever i needed to be and now that’s over for a bit and its not a good time of year to do that. alaska is very cold in the winter and my mountain bike does not suffice in the snow and ice. also fat biking sounds miserable no offense fat bikers you are valid. also south central alaska is not a very walking friendly place! also also, i just love that truck like a person. so stupid that i couldnt protect it and give it the long happy life it was entitled to. it has been in my very dramatic opinion the only stability i have had ever had and it’s comforting that i made that happen for myself but just as opposite of comforting that someone could unintentionally just take that away in the span of some seconds. hope none of you read this and hope youre all well and wearing your seatbelts always. <3 love and hugs. not sure if adding the pictures is a good idea or not since i know anything i see about a car accident makes me sick and i dont want any of you to feel the same❤️ :/ if you have questions or want to see pictures dms are open 🦦