#he is so so so complex and i can’t wait to start diving into how i personally think he’d react to someone he’s genuinely in love with after

[inkykeiji]

Would you be willing to dissect dazai's character on here? I just find it soooo hard to understand him, his motivations and how genuine he actually is, how much of the emotions he portrays are fabricated and which ones are genuine. And how terrifying is the thought that he truly doesnt feel lime he is human (like does that come from not connecting with them and feeling so alianated from the mundane human concerns, or is it rooted deeper? Does he care about the people around him? Is it truly care? Is he even capable of it?). I always find it interesting when other people discuss their opinions on characters and i feel like you have a very unique way to dive into the psyche of each character you write for (and also as i mentioned dazai just goes way over my head)

oooh interesting question anon! my answer is rambly and is mostly just me splatting my thoughts all over this ask SO beware of that! <3

so i have actually already begun a section in my notebook/docs for him + my analysis of his character but as this is a pastime that i usually enjoy doing just for myself and keeping private i don’t think i’d share like, the entire thing (also it’ll end up being several thousand words by the time it’s done HAHA). additionally, since i have yet to consume all of the media associate with bsd i don’t feel like i can even fully dissect him; i can only offer the opinions i have on him at the moment based on what i’ve consumed/know—which right now is only the anime!

but!!!!!! with that being said i do love discussing character and sharing my thoughts on them when it comes to specific subjects/questions if that makes sense??? so if you ever have any specific questions and you’d like to know my personal thoughts on them i’m always more than open to sharing them!

like with what you’ve said here, for example, in regards to his emotions. i agree that he’s extremely complex, almost to the point of being convoluted, and he holds his cards very close to his chest. it seems like it would be incredibly difficult for someone to get genuinely close to him—and i mean like really close, like close enough to the point of him actually letting his guard down and taking off the several masks he wears throughout the day and kind of being fully himself and baring his authentic soul—but i do think that he’s sincere at least some of the time, and i think that he’s more authentic with the ADA than he ever was with the mafia, excluding oda who i think knew him better and more deeply than anyone else in the world ever has.

i can’t even begin to fathom your more complex questions about feeling human etc because i still feel like i haven’t dug into the material enough to give a deep enough answer tbh!

personally i believe that he’s moral greyness personified. i think he really doesn’t give a fuck about good or about evil, and i think he’s easily capable of both in great capacities. it really just depends on which he sets his mind on, whichever one he decides to be that day. i believe he has an immense amount of both within him and i don’t think his evil and sadistic tendencies just up and disappeared; it appears that he can switch between the two with astonishing ease whenever he wants to. to me it’s very clear that he has only decided to do good and focus on good purely because his best friend, and the one person it seemed like he truly, genuinely, deeply cared for, told him to do it. it isn’t like dazai had some sort of epiphany or a profound change of heart on his own that made him suddenly want to be better; it was just his best friend’s dying wish that he put his abilities and his intelligence towards doing good, and so that’s what he’s doing. and i think it’s THAT that motivates him more than anything else. it’s that oda said hey look i know you don’t care about either, so for me, go do some good in this world, and that dazai is honouring that because he loved him.

i think this also stems from guilt, too; from being unable to save oda, so he feels like this is next best thing—this is the least he can do for him, to honour him and to honour his death.

jumping back to his emotions being genuine, i think that his tendency to bother others purely for his own amusement is an inherent + authentic trait (because we see him do it on BOTH sides); i think he does genuinely care for atsushi and for the agency, i think he is capable of those positive emotions in some capacity because, again, oda is a prime example of him being able to FEEL things—to feel genuine and fundamental human emotions, even if he doesn’t feel them often or feel them with the intensity that others do. which is why i don’t think we can classify him as a true psychopath—i definitely believe he is stellar at mimicking emotions 100% and can do so whenever the situation calls for it (he’s so obviously a fantastic and skilled liar), but i think he does have the capacity to truly feel real things, too. and he fully understands morality and society’s collective moral compass, even if he himself doesn’t really care for it either way/doesn’t really personally lean one way or another.

​i think it’s really hard to tell which of his emotions are genuine and which are fabricated but i also think that if you use the question of ‘okay, is he lying here for the sake of his own plan succeeding/is he purposefully withholding information here’ is a good start at indicating whether or not he’s being genuine. for example, the way he treats higuchi when he first meets her!we now know in hindsight that he was only acting the way he did towards her so he could slip that lil radio thingie in her pocket and spy on her; to watch and see how things play out before interfering or jumping to conclusions.

i’m sorry this is such a chaotic mess HAHA he really is so so so complex and i’m still sifting through all of my own thoughts and interpretation/analysis of him as i continue to consume more of the series itself. anyway, these are my thoughts at the moment based on the information i have! they may change slightly in the future as i wade deeper into the material, but yeah! <3

[oceantornadoo]

stranger in your bed (simon riley x reader)

—

sun streamed through your blinds as you groggily opened your eyes, still tired from a night of drinking and dancing. immediately you ran out of your room and into your bathroom, just in case. you came back a bit refreshed, stomach still roiling but stopped short when you noticed what, or who, was in your bed. his torso was littered with scars, heavily muscled without being ripped. the body of a man who labored instead of manufacturing his muscles at a gym. his face was tucked into your pillows, but as your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed something else. your thighs rubbed together at the sight of his length, jutting through your covers. you wondered how you would get this man to leave and- “enjoyin the view, love?” he asked in a gravelly tone, face turning to send you a cheeky grin. you were caught, open-mouthed, and there was nothing you could do about it.

he ripped the covers off and stalked towards you slowly, not bothered by his nakedness or the fact you kept staring. you suddenly realized you were wearing his shirt, and upon closer inspection, his neck bared a couple of hickies starting to bruise. “did we-“ “no. i don’t fuck women who can’t see straight.” your lips parted into a slight o as you backed against your bedroom door, unable to tell him to stop walking near you. he finally reached his destination, arms reaching out on either side of your head, his nose brushing your neck. “now lemme hav’ my breakfast, yeah?” you nodded, insanely curious about what this man could do to you.

his hands reached the hem of your shirt, slowly tugging up, giving you time to stop him. instead, you put your arms up and let him pull it off you, entirely submissive to the machine of a man in front of you. “good girl. lean back.” you put your weight on the door and stared up at him with big doe eyes. he reached down for a kiss, restraining your hands from touching him as he slightly sucked on your bottom lip, leaving you with a small bite. you were breathless now, chest rising and falling in quick succession as he made his way down your body, leaving little kisses at places he wanted to come back to. finally, he knelt, giving you a succulent kiss to the apex of your thighs. you were positively dripping, squirming against the door as this stranger had you at his mercy. he nosed the outside of your folds, laughing under his breath as you emitted a small gasp.

“so desperate to come, hm? didn’t even ask my name. how else do you know what to say when you come?” he leaned back, looking at you expectantly. you whined at the loss of contact, hips canting in the air as you tried to entice him back. “what’s your name?” you gasped, pleading for him to finally taste you. “i’ll spell it. focus.” he dived back in, scruff rubbing against your thighs as he teased the outside of your cunt, knowing you barely felt it. “pay attention.” and he finally licked you. he swirled his tongue once then retreated, leaving you wanting again. "so?" "so what?" you practically whined, your hand leaving your door to tug on his hair. he let out a chuckle at your impatience, bracing a hand against your thigh as he stopped you from pulling him into your needy cunt. "so what was the first letter, love? let me do it again." ever so slowly, your stranger licks your cunt, tongue swirling right to left and downwards. "what letter?" "s?" "my smart girl." he rewards you with a long lick up to down, and a little kitten lick to your clit after. you're positively on edge now, somewhere between extremely frustrated and extremely aroused.

he pauses again, patiently waiting for the next letter. "i?" he hums a smile against your cunt, then dives in, making a complex shape with his tongue. you're wracking your brain for names that start with "si", desperate for this man to stop playing games and truly fuck you with his tongue. "simon!" you yell. he rises from his knees, and you wonder if you've made a mistake judging from the smolder behind his eyes, their gaze fierce as the air turns heavy. he pulls you in for a rough kiss, teeth bumping and tongues clashing as he absolutely claims you for himself. "say it again." he whispers as you moan at the sudden intrusion of two of his fingers into your cunt, hole dripping with wetness. "simon." you whimper against his lips. his fingers move faster, thumb circling your clit expertly as his other hand comes up to tweak your nipple. his cock presses against your stomach, his pleasure forgotten as he wholly focuses on yours. "cmon baby, you're right there, i know you want it. come for me." he takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking slightly with a slight bite. that's it as you're sent careening off the edge, hips fucking you further into his hand as you sink into the door. he catches you with his free hand, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. "feel so good, hm? can't get rid of me now. want another two out of you before i fuck you. how does that sound, love? you brought the wrong man home. i'm going to ruin you."

—

wrote this extremely hungover while wishing simon riley was in my bed

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 11th February ✨

Here’s what I’ve been listening to this week 🎧

Spoilers ahead!

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E3) I don’t get Frank’s game here. I don’t trust for a single second that he’s stopped doing those awful experiments. Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop with Mr Williamson 🤨 And, yes, Leo 😭 continue choosing kindness in the face of stress and grief!! It’s all we can do!!!! 

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (11) sometimes I see so much of myself represented in The Traveller, it’s uncanny. I love singing little songs on the way home from a night out. If someone gave me a lovely little drum, you best believe I’m about to be the biggest menace in the star system!!! My heart swelled to three times its size upon hearing that Óli chose to join them for the evening! Love is stored in the haughty alien companion!! 💓

🏛 @the-mistholme-museum (MUNDANE) This episode had me cackling at Belinda and has had me looking at my toaster a little differently 👀 I loved the complex emotions at play here between ATG and the Beast. If you’re waiting for proof that you can trust the Beast, you’re gonna be waiting a looong time!!  

🌨️ @thewhitevault (7) Iffy!!! Trust your gut!!!!!! All is not as it seems!!! This season is shaping up to be just as gut wrenching as the others and I’m enjoying the ride immensely!

🏢 @somewhereohio (S2E10) I can’t believe it’s over! What a weird, wild and wormy ride this season has been. Roll on the final season! 

🍾 @ameliapodcast “A MAI TAI IS AN INTERNATIONAL DELIGHT!” Had me CREASED. I’m very much enjoying season three so far! 

🌫️ @souloperatorpod (3) Soul Operator is getting creepier by the episode and I’m so here for it! What happened at the end there?! Who’s going around sending bear traps in the post?!! 

🖥️ The Magnus Protocol (5) oooh I think this one was my favourite story yet. I love the shift into what seems to be entirely digital “statements” in this show and they nailed the secondhand embarrassment from those early blog posts. 

🍎 I finished season one of the dazzling Not Quite Dead (@notquitedeadpod) and have started season two. I can’t quite express how much I love this show. The acting is so natural and it makes the whole thing so much more believable. I don’t quite understand why Eira isn’t in absolutely every audio drama ever? He’s amazing. ALFIE, though, GOD. MY SWEET BOY. WHO, EXACTLY, DO YOU THINK CASPER WAS TELLING YOU TO RUN FROM? This show makes me sick, I love it. 

So excited for more Camlann next week, and to dive deeper into the mess that is Not Quite Dead this week!! What is everyone else enjoying? 👀

[juniorig0327]

Okay so it didn’t take me long to decide lmao. I’ve decided he’s gonna have 3 main heritages.

The first one is Filipino, but specifically from a tribe known as the Bajau/Sama-Bajau. They’re a group of Sea Nomadiac people and they have bigger spleens which allow themselves to hold their breath for longer than the average person. They also rupture their ear drums as a young age to be able to dive better and I thought this was lowkey interesting.

The second is African which he also gets from his human heritage (sort of an excuse to learn about African history)

I plan on making a short story on how Percy’s grandparents met because they’re rather important to Percy’s story and play a big part in his trauma.

And finally, third is Polynesian which he gets from his dad Poseidon.

And speaking of his heritage I’ve sort of decided that Percy isn’t as tune in his heritage as someone like Piper for example (atleast in my series idk or remember anything about Piper like past HoH) because of his trauma with his grandparents which I’m sort of still writing so yeah Percy has family issues all around the board in this AU.

Percy was first left with his grandparents and then when they died Sally got with Gabe and started to resent his father from the abuse. Then Percy’s mother died when he was attacked by the Minotaur and then he gets rid of Gabe. Not to mention his very complex relationship with godly parents + Kronos (double grandparent trauma).

So yeah he doesn’t have a good track record with family besides his mother.

Funny enough Annabeth is sort of the opposite in a way. She does have a bad track record with family but in the end it’s all sort of fixed. Like, the trauma is still there but she’s fixed those bonds. She reconciled with her Dad and Stepmom, gained the approval of her mother, got Thalia back, and saved Luke.

So yeah, Annabeth and Percy in my AU are still more alike than different like in canon, despite having different stories (despite one more drastically changed than the other).

Im actually super excited for this AU because the superhero approach for demigods lets me do some cool and interesting stuff while keeping most of the characters relatively the same and introducing some stuff I think is interesting because of no mist. (The Dick Grayson and Jason Todd influence on Percy is gonna be showing fr lmao)

(Realizing his heritage set up him being related to different pantheons, and him being able to perform different feats and having possibly different abilities and what not. I actually can’t wait to intergrate that not only into Percy but characters like Annabeth too who’s family canonically attracts godly beings)

[bonesandthebees]

So overall thoughts. Damn what a painful chapter. It dragged a lot to the surface. There’s a lot of shifting. The toxicity and co-dependency is really starting to rear it’s head. Someone save these boys it not healthy.

I’m not sure how to feel about Tommy right now. Like as a character he’s a lot of fun to analyse. He’s beautifully morally complex and a little fucked up. Probably the most fucked up Tommy of yours I’ve read. Which is starting to make me worried. I’m not sure if Wilbur needed to be pushed as far as Tommy pushed him this chapter. Definitely not as soon. Then again who knows when she might make progress otherwise. It’s the age-old struggle of making progress, not how you are supposed to do it to be healthy, but in a way that somehow still seems to work. Though there will be consequences.

Wilbur is a lot of fun too. I really need to start paying more attention to the name shifts because I keep missing most of them on my first read. Also, I’m very much neglecting analysis the bird metaphor, but I do love it. It’s a very good representation of Wilbur’s emotions as something he doesn’t really control but can’t fully repress. It’s essentially his subconscious or inner self screaming at it. It’s ‘Wilbur’ trying to communicate and get out. It’s a Phoenix getting stoked to live again and trying to rise from its own ashes. Reawakening the embers after all these years.

Once more question, cuz I just realised I forgot to put it in the actual ask. Did Wilbur realise Tommy’s tendency to make decisions for other people beforehand or was it more the pieces snapping into place because of how hard Tommy was pushing him?

That is all, for now. Banger chapter as always, Bee. I had a blast, and a decent chunk of energy and free time this time around (as you can tell by my truckload of asks). Have a great day everyone! I’m going to bed.

(10/10)

-🌲

honestly I think glass!tommy might be my favorite iteration of tommy i've written yet (at least in wilbur pov fics) precisely bc of how fucked up he is. he's so flawed and it's so fun to dig into. one of my favorite character traits of c!tommy that I don't think gets explored in c!crime often enough is how possessive he is of c!wilbur. so I'm having a really fun time diving into the ugly aspects of that with glass.

would wilbur have gotten to that point on his own? possibly. but ever since tommy forcibly began calling wilbur by his name, he set up a dynamic between them where he pushes and wilbur will listen, even if he doesn't want to. wilbur is getting to a point where he doesn't know how to make progress on his own without tommy pushing him forward, and that's DEFINITELY not healthy. but glass isn't about healthy relationships lmao

the bird is such a fun metaphor tool for me to write with. it's hard though because I'm trying not to overuse it, but also how tf else am I supposed to describe wilbur's emotions when he can't accept them as his own? it's a balancing act for sure

I'd say wilbur was somewhat aware of tommy's tendency to make choices for other people before, but what really snapped it into focus was jack actually. when he saw it through the lens of tommy doing that to someone else instead of just doing it to him, he was finally able to recognize it and realize how often tommy's done that to him as well.

ty for your thoughts as always spruce!! sorry i was so late answering this and ik you've already sent me one ask about ch 17 so I can't wait to go read that :)

[dayseternal-blog]

In Memory, Katarinahime. Part 10.

"For Fanfic Writer Appreciation Week, I had started a post that I didn't finish. It was going to be an in-depth review of her 'Serenity Prayer.' I was going to dig into her story structuring, her characterizations, her language...like. It was going to be a long post. And it's sitting in my drafts. And I never finished it. And she'll never see it. [...] I wonder if it's okay for me to just post a bunch of short reflections instead now."

For nhmonth2022, Day 11, Prompt: Serenity Prayer

“Serenity Prayer” by katarinahime - Rated M for depictions of domestic violence, substance abuse, and smut, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. When their fairytale endings smash to ugly pieces, Hinata and Naruto help put each other back together.

Let’s start from the top with this work of art.

She dove on the ground for her phone, pushing it further under her seat so it would take longer to grab. It was a silly move. She couldn't stay down there forever. - Chapter 1, when Hinata sees Naruto walking toward her at the airport.

☝🏼 katarina has an amazing way with throwing in bits of self-deprecating humor into primarily ANGST stories that lightens the load just enough.

"I still have that scarf." He admits, smiling at her like he can't see her wanting to shrivel up and die.

I felt this.  The embarrassment, the simply relatable wording of wanting to shrivel up and die, like it came straight from any mortified consciousness.  And again, another sprinkle of humor here.  AND on top of that, the canon reference in a Modern aged-up AU!

A cracked iPhone 5c that her little sister let her use, matching the outdated MacBook that was thicker than a college text book. At the moment, they are her most prized possessions.

The first chapter is one of the BEST establishing introductions I’ve ever read, and yet there isn’t a single true flashback.  Hinata’s medication, abusive marriage, regrets, shames, they litter her thought process throughout that in no way interferes with the “now” narrative of meeting Naruto in an airport and waiting for a flight on standby.  We get a clear picture of everything she’s been through since high school, as well as worrisome insight into her mental health.

And all through Hinata’s pov, we get a shocking and intriguing glimpse into Naruto’s life.  Quite a few major players in the story are mentioned in the first chapter without any of them having a “spoken” line.  Various complex plot points are laid out that hold across the story - her financial instability, Ino’s business proposal, the unresolved divorce, her unanswered confession,... It’s crazy how well-thought out it is.

katarina develops the romance, character growth, friendships, family relationships, everything beautifully.  All sensitive topics are treated with care, rather than written to entertain a trope.  The fic goes beyond “what if?”, diving into difficult topics like domestic abuse, PTSD, substance abuse, anxiety, etc. without any romanticism.

She bites her lip and nods, leaving that evening without agreeing to anything. - Chapter 2, at the end of Naruto’s and Hinata’s “business meeting” at Ichiraku.

I’ll never get over the skill of this story.  Down to its structure, the layout is masterful.  It has the smoothest scene transitions I’ve ever read.  Ever.  In any fanfic or published book.  In one sentence, Hinata has left Naruto’s date invitation hanging and is working at Ino’s house the next morning.  In Chapter 5, within a few lines, Hinata is at a bar one night and then at Hanabi’s dress fitting the next day.  There are practically no scene breaks in the entire story except for, of course, at the end of a chapter.

"Oh, you forgot your name at the top." Hinata spotted.

"Oops." Shinachiku reached back for his pencil to fix his oversight. - Chapter 7, the first time Hinata babysits Shinachiku.

The CHILDREN.  Feel like real, actual children.  I’ve read so many fics where the children don’t act like children, or are not behaving at a maturity level appropriate to their age.  Shinachiku’s intelligence is off-the-charts, as expected of the son of Sakura, and his personality is spot-on for an only child.  His social awkwardness at a playground, his comfort level around adults, his attachment to routines, his inability at times to interpret admonishments correctly, there are a plethora of details put into this kid.

The details are vivid in every character, from Kurenai and her plant-based diet to Shikamaru and his AA coin, from Moegi with her opinions on pearl succulents to Mirai’s preteen snarky attitude.  There’s a huge cast and each one feels in-character like in canon.

“Yes, the stories are dangerous, she was right. A book is a magic carpet that flies you off elsewhere. A book is a door. You open it. You step through. Do you come back?” -  Jeanette Winterson, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

Did you come back?

I opened the door to “Serenity Prayer.”  I loved her so much I never left, I traced the veins of her words and ordered my own in her image.

When you step through my doors, I hope you recognize her magic.

[mearcatsreturns]

Favorite 2022 Reads

Last year, I did one of these wrap-ups and enjoyed it, so I figured I’d do another! These books were ones I read for the first time this year (except the bonus, which I re-read this year and really resonated with me) that I enjoyed more than the rest. There’s some romance, some horror, some fantasy...and hey, let me know if you’ve read and enjoyed these, or if you have recommendations you think I’d like in 2023. These aren’t in order of enjoyment because I can’t be bothered to rank that intensely, but are arranged alphabetically by author’s last name. 

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Friends. Buddies. Pals. This book right here. I really enjoyed LB’s YA fantasy books, so I figured I’d finally give this one a shot. And boy am I glad I did. I’ve realized that while I do read a ton of romance novels, the books that usually get me are urban fantasy. This one has horror, dark academia, and commentary on academic elitism and social privilege. Trigger warnings abound, but it’s worthwhile if it won’t mess you up too badly. I’ve already put in my preorder for the sequel, Hell Bent, which will be released in January. 

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn

An end-of-the-year surprise! During finals, I don’t let myself read any new books, but this one came in from the library and I didn’t want to risk not reading it. It was a trap...I was going to read it just during my commute, but I could not be stopped. This is a YA urban fantasy novel, but it’s impeccably researched and well-written. Arthuriana meets critiques of systemic racism and traumatic grief and hooooo, it’s good. I’m eagerly awaiting the second book in the series, which was released not long ago. 

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

Listen. Have you ever had the experience of reading a romance novel and then realizing you relate more to the “bad” woman that the male protag dumps so he can get with the sweet, gentle one who will just be the best and most supportive wifey ever? Or that you’ve been in that boat yourself? This book provides justice for all the ambitious women with rough edges that want to see themselves in a romance novel, without demanding that she sacrifice her ambitions and have 55 children (while still being sympathetic to other life paths). Bonus for publishing industry nonsense and complex sibling relationships. 

The Deal by Elle Kennedy

I thought this would be just a fun palate cleanser of a friends-to-lovers college story. And it is that, but it also ended up being so much more. Let’s talk the friends-to-lovers angle--I rarely read a book where I so thoroughly believe in the friendship between the characters before I see a hint of romance. It was so well done. Then, as for the other, it had one of the most realistic and compassionate treatments of how sexual assault can affect people even years later. It wasn’t solved and cured and tied up with a neat little bow, but it was hopeful nonetheless.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Ah, the complexities of grief and recovering from conservative subcultures. Loving your parents but knowing they aren’t doing right by you. Confronting exploitation and exploiring recovery. This memoir is a gut-punch, and it’s incredibly well-written. I can’t wait to see what Jennette does next, even if that’s dropping out of the public eye. 

Bonus Re-Read Fave: Fair Game by Patricia Briggs

I believe I read this for the first time last year, but this year was when it started hitting hard for me. In addition to being a fun urban fantasy novel (it’s book 3 in a series, so perhaps not the easiest to just open and dive into), but ooh boy does it hit. You know how The Deal is compassionate about dealing with sexual assault? Well, this book may take on a fae angle and deal with prejudice, but it’s about the catharsis of someone who loves a victim being willing to burn the world down for them, and I fucking love it. *chef’s kiss*

[gogogoats]

Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Ten

Chapter Nine

Synopsis/review, just my opinions.

Chapter Ten – Questions

The cave isn’t naturally occurring, hand carved in recent years, probably as a mine. There’s a draught blowing through it from somewhere. Jane is looking for Robert, who isn’t dead because she can’t smell cooked meat.

Robert appears with his flashing smile, pleased that Jane has decided to trust him.

Jane says she is curious and Robert mentions cats and how many lives they need to have to deal with their curious streak. He asks how many lives Jane will need by the end of the day, which seems like a threat? He prepares to head further into the cave and Jane asks how long this will take. Robert says most of the day so Jane says she will let Dragon know so he can return to the castle to tell Theodore. This would leave Jane without any lifeline, but I guess we trust Robert now so it’s hunky dory.

Dragon has had an abrupt change of heart and berates Jane for leaving the cave when she should be learning all about runes.

Jane wants him to update Theodore and then go ask Squeaky the bat if she’s open to some roommates. The only problem Dragon has with this plan is that he’s not Jane’s servant? Sorry, have we just gone from stress and anxiety and concern over Jane’s safety and Robert’s intentions to business as usual, nothing to worry about here? WHY?

Jane promises to scratch behind Dragon’s ears for a whole day and Dragon accepts, leaving.

Back at the castle, we are learning about the cellars. Okay, castle history, great. Love it. It’s a fairly detailed description of the location. Theodore is leading Haroldus down the stairs.

Haroldus is asking Theodore how much he has told the other members of the castle, and Theodore doesn’t really answer. In the conversation it’s revealed that Haroldus’ “crew” was just some phonies he paid off. Theodore delivers him to a Master Gorga and asks him to show Haroldus a sample of his product. We’re supposed to wonder, as Haroldus is, if this is about to devolve into torture, but I’m pretty sure Gorga is a winemaker and a fan of the saying ‘in vino veritas’.

Theodore leaves to tell the King what’s happening, with the intention of returning. His joints protest at climbing up the stairs but so far his injury hasn’t been mentioned. He took Haroldus to the cellars rather than the knight’s quarters for privacy, because even Lavinia doesn’t go down there.

Theodore needs time to think, this day has been a long time coming, he has tried to prepare as best he can, there are lots of complexities, etc, etc. but the day was becoming a mess. He hopes Jane stays alert. Too bad he didn’t give her any helpful advice before she set out blindly this morning.

He made a promise with Theodore many years ago which has lived in harmony with his oath of service to the King but is now starting to butt up against it, because of Jane, and what she may or may not represent.  There’s a lot of musing here which is hard to summarise because we’re not actually being given much solid information.

Basically, from what I can gather, Theodore and Haroldus made a commitment to each other that probably has something to do with dragons, and now Jane probably has a role to play in that but Theodore doesn’t know what that role is, and it’s all very complicated and he’s not sure if Haroldus has betrayed their agreement or not.

Lavinia is waiting at the top of the stairs and demands to know where Jane is. She accuses Theodore of locking her and Jester in the cellar??? She can’t find Jane and Jester, she’s bored with no one to play with or teach her, Theodore is now being called the “terrible Black Knight” instead of the Grey Knight but I’m not sure if that’s a typo. She wants Theodore to entertain her but he’s trying to see the King when she spots Dragon flying towards the castle and thinks it’s Jane returning.

But of course, Dragon is alone.

Back to the cave, where Jane is returning to the waiting Robert. He tells her that command comes easily to her and they discuss the merits of that vs. diplomacy, which seems to be his preference. It’s kind of implied that he thinks diplomacy would make Jane seem weak since she’s a woman, but maybe I’m just not getting it.

They continue on until they reach a cavern, but the walls hold no runes. Robert tells her to extinguish her torch so their eyes can adjust to the ambient light. Jane is hesitant but decides to comply. Flash back to Theodore teaching her and Gunther how to fight in the dark.

There are glow worms in the cave which are lighting the way. They travel downwards and further in, past stalactites and mites. Jane mention’s Dragon’s huge ego to Robert. The tunnel and cavern is beautiful and Jane would like to bring Lavinia one day if the Queen will allow it. She knows Dragon would like it too if only he could fit.

They enter another, huge cavern, where the glow of the worms is less effective. Robert tells Jane to wait a moment so he can light a fire. He has been camping here for some weeks. Jane sits and starts talking about cheese, and the three sisters, but Robert calls it a performance, saying that while she’s blabbing about that she’s inspecting the cave. Apparently Jane looking around the space she has been brought to by this manipulative stranger is an impressive skill she must have been taught by Theodore. Imagine having eyes and using them. The audacity!

Robert asks Jane if Theodore has taught her everything he knows about dragons. When Jane says she believes he has, Robert responds “I doubt that.”

She is annoyed by his baiting, but she has had plenty of practice with Gunther and doesn’t respond. Robert apologises for annoying her and Jane tells him to speak plainly. He says he will but I don’t think he’s capable of it.

Instead, he unleashes a barrage of questions at her. About Theodore, and his pre-castle history, about the castle’s history, about a book, mysterious and valuable that he says Theodore wants for himself. Basically the implication is that the Long Siege was because the invaders wanted this book of dragons and King Bartok kept it hidden all through the Wilderness Years.

For some reason, which frankly makes absolutely no sense, Jane goes into fight mode because Robert’s questions had affected her composure which apparently makes her vulnerable to attack?

So she prepares to fight??

End Chapter

Overall impressions:

The abrupt shifts in characters’ moods from anxious to blasé and back again are becoming increasingly jarring. Literally the end of the last chapter Dragon didn’t want Jane to go into the cave, yet she goes in and talks to Robert for like 30 seconds and goes back out and Dragon is practically chasing her back in?

I’m not sure how much of the random information we are half-heartedly being given is going to come to anything or be elaborated on vs. how much is just going to be forgotten, but there is some potentially interesting stuff being touched on. Has the entire history of the castle been manipulated to conceal the existence of this precious book, or is Robert making stuff up?

WHY would Theodore not share at least some of his knowledge with Jane or even Dragon? He has turned her into a sitting duck and then thrown her out into a hunting field if even half of what Robert is alluding to is true. He has known there are multiple other players in this game he is playing and that they aren’t all playing with good intentions. It’s no good worrying frantically about Jane now when he could have done so much more to help her.

It’s hard to tell if Lavinia is accusing Theodore of locking Jane and Jester in the dreaded cellar as a joke or as an actual possibility she believes could be true? It was a weird comment that wasn’t really explained.

There’s zero logic behind Jane shifting into combat mode, but I guess we needed that cliff hanger.

I should have started a count of mentions of Robert’s smile. For the record: SO. Many. Mentions.

Time passed since the start of the novel: day two, afternoon

[charmed-asylum]

Honey bun why I mean god damn it why u didn’t warn me. Because damn this mmm mmm mm. Now I know I been waiting to collect and dive in but damn now I regret it right now because the amount of time I read this and ( all things u).

Let’s start with the introduction the summary, In which you start to adapt to your role in the life Rafe's chosen for you.  Now now now now. ( pull out the light up pointer) WE BOTH KNOW THERE WAS NO AND I MEAN NO equal agreement of these  agreement but more a bring that ass here mindset. I wonder going into this chapter like I thought about for a while the preparation the details for one Rafe was to chaos to unpredictable that this one the sober if not more scary more delulu then the other one. Could he have this all plan out longer then chapter one page one . Because one thing for sure is that might not be the case. And this man lord he crazy af but damn he got away about him to the tiny thing girl got more self control then I would have thought. —->Rafe reached out to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ears, letting his thumb trace against your jaw, “When I come back, we can talk about how you can start helping out around the house. That should keep you busy. Less wandering that way.”

With this sober Rafe i can’t stop myself for wondering how this change him from simple things to the complex things. Example the unlock door. A man who wants control be in control to have something as small as a door unlock seems a bit off. It’s like him leaving the keys to the truck in the car. 

She for sure comes to realization that she gonna need to be smart about this. —> You weren’t quite sure what your goal was. Escape, obviously, but it couldn’t be this easy.  With the unlock door it really again getting to me what is this a test or he really slipping. Then to go back to the cameras yes that one is very clear but how do we know if there more and where. ->You noticed a small blinking red light near the front door as you looked around for something to break a window or unlock the door. The camera was pointed right at the front door. Who knows what type of alarm would sound if you even opened it. Then he just there he can say oh work which I mean this man working hard for his money 🎶 but idk I feel it as a test . Then after the camera like all this time she pout and I mean girl u gotta be smart about this for example you need to get on his good side figure out his weakness and route at this point if u gotta give in with the golden hoo hoo then give in I’m sure if JJ or Pope was aware and knew they give in. ( At least give in to the hoo hoo can be your excuse) 

For a man that didn’t really respect or care for her as much as she did when she was younger . He sure as hell is now. Little names , Honey. Touches and shit you would have thought they got married and was living this life together. ( again how long has he been preparing this) 

—>The way he spoke was so warm and part of you wanted to accept it, to accept the care and love and warmth he so obviously wanted you to feel too. You could choose to be happier and let your baby feel that happiness too. I’m telling you idk how and idk how but this man got some tricks up his sleeve like who else would be smooth talk his way with a simple mention of the little one. And her hormones tho mmm mmm mm. Because she still early in her pregnancy and idk I’m not a mom but I’m sure it only gonna get worst. 

Though out the story I feel and wonder if he doing thing to her to idk manipulate in small and unusual ways example when he speak to her and makes her doubt herself and things or say something and make it feel it’s for good of baby or do things like the chat about chores or get vitamins for her to take or even leave his laundry ( which does go with him wanting her to do chores) like he left a bunch of little traps 🪤 and just waited to see what she does. Or asking for a meal. —>All you did was nod, your mind already calculating what you might possibly be able to throw together. Or —> It was a clear message despite the fact that you didn’t want to hear it. “I think I can do more than be stay at home mom.” 

“I know you can do more, Honey. You have been doing so much more than one person should do,” Despite the fact that he was taking away everything you knew that you were, he managed to compliment you at the same time, “I can already see you’re gonna be a great Mom. Don’t you want time to just focus on being one? Yeah you’ll be home a lot but that’s so much time you can spend with the baby.” Not everyone gets to do that. It was a privilege. You were starting to feel ungrateful for not thinking that way. He continued, “Think about it. You can teach him everything, he’ll be so smart, and he’ll feel so loved because you’ll be right there to tell him — every morning, everyday, every night.” 

Way he touch her ahhhh u dirty dog and words all you gotta do is be mine like it’s simple thing to do. Like you know u know u doing something 

Does he plan on visiting wheezie or have her come by. Did she maybe help him put house and girl stuff together giving that woman touch . 

—>  On his laptop, you saw a screensaver of him and Wheezie out on the water in Kildare. You wondered if he’d told his little sister about you or if he was even planning on bringing his family around.

Hate me but that nesting comment had me dying yes if this was a regular story no dululu that would have been a sweet and innocent interaction between the two soon to be parents. 

Again as we get closer to the end can it be a given like small morning thing or snacks that she slowly slippinng into that SS mindset , —>You spent the rest of the day immersed in household chores. You did yours and Rafe’s laundry, vacuumed the living room, and dusted wherever possible. The repetitive tasks gave you a sense of calm, a momentary escape from the emotions. You moved so you didn’t have to think, and the day seemed to pass faster that way

homestead [3] r.cameron

[warnings] dark!rafe cameron x pregnant!reader, farmer!rafe, pogue!reader, implied jj x reader, kidnapping, DUBCON, little editing,READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

A/N: Hello guys, I know a lot of you asked to be tagged but I am only tagging those who reblog AND give me your thoughts on the story. Please refrain from asking to be tagged especially if you are not interacting with the story in any other way. Enjoy!

word count: 3.0k

In which you start to adapt to your role in the life Rafe's chosen for you.

homestead masterlist

During one of the three bathroom trips you made during the night, you realized your bedroom door wasn’t locked. You slipped on fluffy slippers that you’d found in your closet and slipped out of the bedroom before you could overthink your decision. Admittedly, after Rafe showed you the rest of the house, spending so much time in your room felt wrong. You thought you’d feel stronger, faster, but every thought of him gave you flashbacks to his hands pinning your arms above your head and gripping your thighs so hard that they bruised. The threat of that happening again loomed over you, and Rafe seemed to know that and used it to his advantage. 

You hadn’t known the time either, but the hallway was dark, and no light streamed in through the windows, telling you that it wasn’t yet daybreak. You moved slowly down the stairs, doing your best to reduce the creaking. You weren’t quite sure what your goal was. Escape, obviously, but it couldn’t be this easy. 

As you reached the bottom of the stairs, you were met with a silent house, except for the slight hum of the refrigerator. The front door was perfectly in view, and you quickly approached it. It was locked, but you had expected that. You noticed a small blinking red light near the front door as you looked around for something to break a window or unlock the door. The camera was pointed right at the front door. Who knows what type of alarm would sound if you even opened it. 

As you fully turned around, your eyes landed on a shadow looming at the bottom of the stairs. He crossed the walkway to the farther wall, flipping on a light switch, “What are you doing?” He asked as you rubbed your eyes, feeling blinded by bright lights. 

“Getting some water,” You lied, not making much of an attempt to look less suspicious, “Couldn’t find the kitchen.”

You should’ve known he’d have more layers of protection. After all, you were the newest addition to the livestock he was keeping. You noted his jeans, workboots, and t-shirt, realizing that he was up to start his chores. 

“Couldn’t find the kitchen?” He repeated back, his arms crossed over his chest, his face telling you he was close to lecturing you like a child. 

“I got turned around in the dark,” You added, “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s get you some water then,” He said, much to your surprise. You stepped towards him, and his hands found the small of your back again, and you instantly felt his hands everywhere. For you, he retrieved a glass from the cabinet and filled it from the refrigerator water dispenser, “Good morning, Honey.”

The clock above the stove told you it was almost five in the morning. 

You reached for the glass, but he held it out of your reach. “Good morning,” you replied back obediently. He withheld it still, leaning down to press his lips to yours. Just like on the nursery floor, you froze, but you didn’t pull away. 

When he finally let you have the glass, you tried your best not to shake. He was still watching you intently, even as you sipped at it. 

“How’s the little one feeling?”

The way he spoke was so warm and part of you wanted to accept it, to accept the care and love and warmth he so obviously wanted you to feel too. You could choose to be happier and let your baby feel that happiness too.

“Good,” you answered, “He’s fine.”

He wanted you to say more but you stared back, maintaining your calm. If you stayed calm, it was easier for him to perceive your obedience. 

“Good,” he echoed. 

You’d decided then that you wouldn’t hole up in your room if you could help it. You knew less and less about his daily schedule within the confines of your room, and you needed to learn exactly when he left, when he returned, and how long he was gone each time.

“You should get some more sleep,” You were practically pinned against the counter. Rafe reached out to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ears, letting his thumb trace against your jaw, “When I come back, we can talk about how you can start helping out around the house. That should keep you busy. Less wandering that way.”

You nodded, “Okay.”

When he finally let you go, you headed back upstairs to your room. Neither of you acknowledged the unlocked door. You didn’t want to give him a reason to change his mind, believing he was trying to quietly show you that he had loosened his grip. 

You woke again to a quiet house a few hours later. Your morning routine was beginning to consist of making the bed, taking a bath, and taking your vitamins. You found it strange when you got your own room at Pope’s house but now you found it even stranger to have your own room and not have to prepare to go to work. 

After your bath, you started spending more time just looking in the mirror, admiring your bump and how the bags under your eyes were already starting to look less drastic. You hadn’t realized you’d been depriving yourself of sleep. You rubbed stretch mark cream gently over your stomach, and you actually had the time to talk to your baby. 

Instead of your usual silk pajamas, you picked out a flowing white skirt and a blue button-up. The material felt light and breathable, which you usually required to withstand the summer heat in your current condition. 

From your closet, you pulled out the wicker basket you’d been piling your dirty laundry into. It felt wrong to open your door again, but it was a reminder that you’d been rewarded for your decisions so far. You carried your laundry downstairs, finding Rafe leaning against the kitchen island, enjoying an apple. His eyes lit up at the sight of you despite just having seen you hours ago. 

He looked dirty from the day already. His hat was turned backward to keep his long hair from his face, and sweat was on his brow. 

“You look pretty,” He said, his voice softer than you expected given his appearance. Instinctively, you wanted to roll your eyes but instead your lips pressed into a thin line. Of course he thought you looked pretty. Undoubtedly, he hand picked all the clothing in your closet. 

“Thanks,” You said, gesturing to the basket in your hand, “... I’m gonna start a load.”

He nodded his head to give you permission and you turned towards the laundry room. It was situated on a small hallway that contained the doors to the guest bathroom and a room he hadn’t shown you yet. The room was relatively small but there were tall white cabinets above each washer that seemed to provide a lot of storage. The washer and dryer themselves were updated and you assumed they’d be easy to use. You realized quickly that there was another laundry basket in the room, this one filled to the brim with what you assumed was Rafe’s work clothes. After finding the detergent, you started loading your dirty clothes into the laundry, deciding washing them with Rafe’s muddy ones would ruin the quality of yours. 

Later, you thought. You wouldn’t mind doing a load for him later. What else was there to do around here?

When you returned back to the kitchen, Rafe asked, “You think you can handle making dinner tonight? Gonna go back out later and it would be good to have a meal waiting.”

Your mouth parted. The idea of making dinner made you more nervous than upset at the fact that he was already filing you into your role as his housewife, “Um,” You started, standing on the opposite side of the island, “What would I make?”

“Anything you want, really. There’s cookbooks by the window seal if you need ideas,” He crossed his arms over his chest as he thought out loud, “Fridge and pantry are stocked. We’ve got about a million eggs and I just had one of the cows butchered so there’s plenty of beef.”

“I can try,” You said unsure.

“Good, and I know it’ll be great,” He smiled as he rounded the island, “Make yourself something filling for breakfast and then come up to my office after, okay? The door across from the nursery.” His hands brushed against your waist as he walked past. 

All you did was nod, your mind already calculating what you might possibly be able to throw together. You didn’t have much experience cooking, whatever foster family you were with when you were growing up could usually only feed you frozen stuff and ramen. With JJ, you lived the same and with Pope, his Mom usually did most of the cooking. 

Rafe seemed to have more confidence in your abilities than you expected. Or maybe he thought it was such an easy task that not even you could mess it up. 

+

You made yourself a bagel with cream cheese and after you finished it, you still felt like you were starving. You’d noticed that you’d started wanting to snack more often but you’d never had this much food available to actually do so. Rafe wasn’t nearly exaggerating enough when he said the kitchen was stocked. Knowing Rafe was expecting you, you grabbed a handful of blueberries and practically scarfed them down on your way up the stairs. 

You glanced at the nursery for only a moment before you turned toward’s Rafe’s office. “Come in,” You heard immediately after knocking, You expected some sort of dungeon but the room was painted a light color similar to the rest of the house. His desk was large but pressed against the furthest window. Shelves decorated each side of the walls and the only other seating was a smal, comfy brown couch, “C’mere, Honey.” 

He waved you closer and you walked until you were standing in front of his chair. On his laptop, you saw a screensaver of him and Wheezie out on the water in Kildare. You wondered if he’d told his little sister about you or if he was even planning on bringing his family around.

“Do you have everything you need for your room to feel comfortable?”  

You nodded and he grabbed ahold of your hand, “Have you thought about anything you want to add to the nursery?”

The nursery was a room you’d like to not think about for awhile, “No,” You said, “It’s a little early to have everything ready, don’t you think?”

“It's not too early, Y/N. You have to like, you know, nest.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Nest? Like a bird?”

“It means to get your environment ready for the baby. It’s like some natural, primal instinct Mom’s have. Some shit like that.”

“Huh,” You still gave him a questioning look, “Still getting used to this environment. Probably will be for awhile.”

Rafe smirked despite the fact that you were poking at him, “You seem pretty comfortable already,” He added, looking you over, “Speaking of getting used  to the environment. I wanted to go over my expectations.”

“Your expectations,” You mimicked. 

“I’m expecting dinner tonight but, in general, I want you to get in the habit of preparing at least two meals a day. I’ll let you sleep in most mornings because I have to be up so early but lunch and dinner should be prepared.” 

“Rafe, I—“

He interrupted you, grabbing your waist to pull you into his lap. You yelped in response but he continued on, “Keeping everything clean, vacuuming, mopping, doing the laundry, changing the beds, is also expected. I’m sure you can figure out how to do all those things.” 

“Rafe—“

“Don’t worry, I’m not expecting you do all of that when it gets close to your due date but I think those chores are reasonable.”

“Is that what you expect of me forever? To stay inside and clean and cook?”

“Only for now. I’ll show you how to do some of the outside chores sometime soon.”

“…that farmers market you were talking about. Will you ever take me there?” 

“What happens is really not up to me,” He pressed you closer to him, his hands started to trace the skin of your thighs, “Depends on how you react to things.” 

It was a clear message despite the fact that you didn’t want to hear it. “I think I can do more than be stay at home mom.” 

“I know you can do more, Honey. You have been doing so much more than one person should do,” Despite the fact that he was taking away everything you knew that you were, he managed to compliment you at the same time, “I can already see you’re gonna be a great Mom. Don’t you want time to just focus on being one? Yeah you’ll be home a lot but that’s so much time you can spend with the baby.” 

Not everyone gets to do that. It was a privilege. You were starting to feel ungrateful for not thinking that way. 

He continued, “Think about it. You can teach him everything, he’ll be so smart, and he’ll feel so loved because you’ll be right there to tell him — every morning, everyday, every night.” 

You turned your face from him, your eyes staring to well with tears, “Of course I want that.” 

“I want you to have that. You just have to be mine first, okay?” 

You brought your hand to your face, wiping tears before they fell, but wanted to roll your eyes, “I should get started on all those chores.”

You tried to stand, to push away from him, but he gripped your waist tighter. He placed his hand around the side of your neck, turning your head face towards him. “Don’t do that,” he was almost pleading with you. “I know you need more time … I just . . . I can’t help but get ahead of myself.”

“You’re right,” You gritted, “I need more time.”

“But the way your body responds to me,” He pushed you closer until your foreheads touched. With his other hand, he gripped your thigh tightly, and his hand started to move closer and closer between your legs, “Makes me feel like the good ol' times.”

His voice vibrated through your body, and you cursed how he could simultaneously make you feel so much. You needed the closeness desperately, but this was all wrong. You should be this close with JJ, but now you are even further from him. It made your heart ache, but Rafe’s hands and compliments made it a bit less. 

“Be gentle,” You warned. 

“I can be gentle,” He smiled against your lips before he pressed his into yours. You hesitated to move them in response, but he didn’t seem to mind. He just wanted you closer. He kissed you until you were practically out of breath, “I can be good.”

“Rafe,” You whispered, trying to find your voice.

“Relax, Honey,” He hushed you, lifting you until you fully faced him, straddling his lap. As his hands moved up your skirt, you closed your eyes, trying to control your racing thoughts. Soon, his fingers were pulling aside your underwear, “You like it, baby. You wouldn’t feel this wet if you didn’t like it. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell on you.”

His fingers were slow and careful, and soon you were letting out a breath and letting go of the tension in your body. You could focus for a brief moment. Forget that Pope and JJ probably thought you were dead. 

“Let me take care of you,” As you leaned forward, Rafe spoke in your hear. Your lips were tight, not letting a moan escape your lips but your body was shuddering, “That’s it, you’re doing so well.”

Your vow of silence didn’t last long when the waves of pleasure finally crashed over you. You moved your hips against him as he held you close, and he guided you through your orgasm. Of course, after the glow subsided, you regretted it, “The last time we did that, you were in the back of my truck,” Rafe said, and you could practically hear his smirk. He didn’t fight you when you climbed off his lap, fixing your underwear and skirt, “I believe you were wearing a skirt too then, your waitress uniform … You look even more beautiful now, though.”

That was hard to believe. 

He watched you with a smug smile, clearly pleased with himself. The flash of the memory made you feel like some part of you really hadn’t grown up, even after all this time. 

“I need to get started,” You said, your voice starting to shake. 

Without hearing another word, you quickly exited the office, your mind a whirlwind again. 

You spent the rest of the day immersed in household chores. You did yours and Rafe’s laundry, vacuumed the living room, and dusted wherever possible. The repetitive tasks gave you a sense of calm, a momentary escape from the emotions. You moved so you didn’t have to think, and the day seemed to pass faster that way. 

Using one of the cookbooks Rafe mentioned, you chose a recipe and made beef stew with roasted vegetables and a fresh salad. It was your first time making food that didn’t come inside a box with instructions on the side. It was more meticulous than you anticipated, and you found yourself trying the finished stew over and over, adding salt, pepper, and other seasonings as you saw fit. 

The aroma filled the kitchen, proving you a small sense of pride.

Rafe had gone back outside to work, but when he returned, he was slightly out of breath and carrying a rifle. The sight of it made your heart stop.

“What happened?” You moved closer, your voice laced with concern.

You watched as he tucked the gun into a compartment built into the wall near the door and he kicked off muddy boots, “One of our cows had a stillborn,” As he walked further into the house, walking further into the house, “Damn buzzards wouldn’t stop bothering it, and the mom was getting upset. Had to shoot off a warning shot to get them to go away. Had to bury it for her."

“Oh,” Was all you got out. The idea made you feel sick. You couldn’t help but get an ominous feeling. You rubbed your hand over your stomach protectively.

His demeanor shifted as he caught sight of you, his expression going from annoyed to excited, “Something smells good,” Rafe smiled; his mind had obviously moved on already. 

“Yeah,” Luckily, you felt your baby move inside of you, a small reassurance, “Dinner’s ready.” 

A/N: Hello guys, I know a lot of you asked to be tagged but I am only tagging those who reblog AND give me your thoughts on the story. Please refrain from asking to be tagged especially if you are not interacting with the story in any other way. Hope you enjoyed!

[unitedstatesofworld]

Hailey Bieber Pregnant: An Exciting New Chapter for the Biebers!

Introduction

The world of celebrities is always buzzing with exciting news, and the latest headline to grab everyone's attention is Hailey Bieber pregnant! As one of the most talked-about couples, Hailey and Justin Bieber have continuously captured the hearts of millions. With this new chapter in their lives, fans and followers are eager to know every detail. In this article, we'll dive into the thrilling announcement, the couple's journey, and what this means for their future.

The Announcement: Hailey Bieber Pregnant!

When Hailey and Justin Bieber decided to share their joyous news, the internet practically exploded. Fans from around the globe rushed to social media to express their excitement and well-wishes for the beloved couple.

Social Media Frenzy

Hailey's pregnancy announcement was nothing short of a digital spectacle. The couple chose a heartfelt Instagram post featuring an adorable photo of Hailey holding her baby bump, with Justin beaming by her side. Within minutes, the post garnered millions of likes and thousands of comments, with fans and celebrities alike pouring in their congratulations.

Hailey's Post: "Excited to start this new chapter with you @justinbieber. We can’t wait to meet our little one!"

Justin's Post: "Can't wait to be a dad! Feeling beyond blessed. Love you so much @haileybieber."

 

The Journey to Parenthood

The journey to this joyous moment hasn't been without its ups and downs. Hailey and Justin have always been open about their desire to start a family, and they've shared glimpses of their journey with their fans.

Overcoming Challenges

The road to parenthood is often filled with challenges, and the Biebers' journey was no different. Hailey has spoken candidly about her health struggles, and Justin has shared his own battles with mental health. Together, they've faced these obstacles head-on, supporting each other every step of the way.

Hailey's Health Struggles: Hailey has been open about her struggles with autoimmune diseases, which added an extra layer of complexity to their journey.

Justin's Mental Health: Justin has been vocal about his struggles with anxiety and depression, and how Hailey's support has been a cornerstone in his recovery.

The Decision to Start a Family

Despite the challenges, the couple always knew they wanted to start a family. In several interviews, they've expressed their love for children and their excitement about becoming parents.

Hailey's Perspective: "I've always wanted to be a mom. It's been a dream of mine since I was young."

Justin's Excitement: "Starting a family with Hailey is something I've always looked forward to. She's going to be an amazing mother."

What This Means for Their Future

With Hailey Bieber pregnant, the couple is now looking forward to a bright future filled with new adventures and milestones. But what does this mean for their careers, their relationship, and their public lives?

Career Adjustments

Both Hailey and Justin have incredibly busy careers, but they're ready to make adjustments to accommodate their growing family.

Hailey's Modeling Career: Hailey has already hinted at taking a step back from her modeling commitments to focus on her pregnancy and the baby. "I'm definitely going to slow down a bit," she said in a recent interview.

Justin's Music Career: Justin, known for his relentless work ethic, has also mentioned taking some time off to be with Hailey and their baby. "Family comes first," he said. "I'll always make music, but right now, my focus is on Hailey and our child."

Strengthening Their Relationship

The Biebers have always been a strong couple, but the journey to parenthood has brought them even closer.

Communication and Support: Hailey and Justin have emphasized the importance of communication and support in their relationship. "We talk about everything," Hailey shared. "Being open and honest with each other has been key."

Shared Excitement: Both have expressed their excitement about this new chapter, and how it's strengthened their bond. "We're in this together," Justin said. "I can't wait to see Hailey as a mom. She's going to be incredible."

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

With the announcement of Hailey Bieber pregnant, fans and followers have a lot of questions. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions, along with answers:

When is Hailey Bieber due?

The exact due date hasn't been publicly announced, but it's expected that the baby will arrive later this year.

Is it a boy or a girl?

The couple has chosen to keep the baby's gender a surprise, adding to the excitement and anticipation.

Will Hailey continue her modeling career after the baby is born?

Hailey has expressed her desire to continue modeling, but she plans to balance her career with her new role as a mother.

How is Justin preparing for fatherhood?

Justin has been open about his preparations, from reading parenting books to setting up the nursery. He's excited and ready for this new adventure.

What have they said about their parenting styles?

Both Hailey and Justin have talked about wanting to create a loving and supportive environment for their child. They plan to be hands-on parents, and they're looking forward to sharing the responsibilities.

Conclusion

The news of Hailey Bieber pregnant marks a thrilling new chapter for the Biebers. Their journey to parenthood has been filled with love, support, and excitement. As they prepare to welcome their little one, fans around the world are eagerly watching and cheering them on. With their strong bond and shared dedication to family, there's no doubt that Hailey and Justin will be incredible parents. Here's to the next adventure in the Bieber story!

[amieravenson]

If I Could Only Keep 10 Decks

I simultaneously love and hate questions like this. On one hand, it makes you evaluate everything and look at what's really important to you. On the other hand, thinking of letting things go sucks. But when I looked at my decks, I found that the choices were easier than I thought they would be. I decided to choose 5 tarot decks and 5 oracle decks for balance. I'll start with the tarot cards.

Tarot Cards

Sacred Rose Tarot

We're starting at the very beginning. This is the deck that my dad bought me for my birthday when I was 12. I had seen tarot used on TV or a movie, and was completely obsessed with it. All I wanted that year was a tarot deck. So Dad took me to a metaphysical store called The Sphynx in Midtown Atlanta, and bought my first deck. It was really hard to learn on, but it's incredibly precious to me. I couldn't let this deck go if I tried.

Pamela Colman Smith Commemorative Rider Waite Smith

I ordered this deck from the UK before the American version came out. And I'm glad I did, because the colors on the American version are washed out and dull. I also trimmed the white borders off, and edged this deck in black. It looks great and it feels really good to shuffle. It's my ride-or-die deck. I use it to read at DragonCon and any other events because it's just such a good reader. It loves to read for other people, but it doesn't really read for me well at all. I'm OK with that. I think that you need a deck that's primarily for other people. It's my travel deck that goes everywhere in my purse with me!

Thoth Tarot

I bought this as a study deck and forgot about it for a few years. I read somewhere that the 3 of Cups was associated with Persephone, and I was hooked! I started studying it here and there when I got a chance, but never really did a deep dive. Then, in 2022, I used it for my daily draws every day, and I learned a lot. I love this deck and its layers of symbolism. I should use it more, but I love having it near me. I could spend years studying this deck and never get tired.

The Forhaxa Tarot

I love this deck for a few reasons. First, the art is absolute perfection. It's so complex and layered. Second, it's based on Swedish folklore. I don't know most of the references, but it makes me want to study the tales. Third, it was given to me by my awesome husbear. A trifecta of awesome!

The Alleyman's Tarot

What can I say about the Alleyman's Tarot? If you know, you know. It's just so fuckin' COOL. It's a mixed deck of cards from different artists that come together to make a jumbled, crazy mess of fantastic art. And you're encouraged to bend the cards (I could never), write on the cards (I have), and even get rid of the cards you don't like (I just set them neatly aside). The Alleyman has a few other neat tricks up his sleeve, including a dice set (that reads really well), and he's coming out with some oracle decks as a Kickstarter early next year. LOVE!

Oracle Cards

The Faeries Oracle

This is one of my oldest decks. I can't remember exactly when I bought it, but It wasn't that long after it was released in 2000. I just love Brian Froud. And believe it or not, this deck is a good reader. The messages are deep and meaningful. I don't read with it often, but when I do, it always reads true. I love it!

Tea Leaf Fortune Cards

I really don't know much about reading tea leaves, but these cards are just cool. They're small and round, and they come with a huge bag that you can 'shuffle' them in. I should definitely use these more than I do, but if I had to make a choice about my 10 decks, they would definitely make the cut.

The Arcane Bullshit Oracle

This deck is an irreverent collection of weirdness and I love it. Again, the husbear bought it for me, and that gives it a special place in my heart, but I honestly love how this deck thumbs its nose at how serious cartomancers can take themselves. It's a big 'fuck you' to anyone who can't take a joke, and I'm here for it.

Seasons of the Witch Samhain Oracle

This deck is MOODY AF. The art is stunning in shades of black and grey with pops of red, and the messages are creepy and eerie like you would want in a Samhain deck. And the red edges? COME ON. Beautiful. This deck is so much better than the Yule version, which screws everything up with all the thys and thous that are misused. It really begs to be used in the dark half of the year. The Mabon and Beltane editions are really great too, it's a shame the Yule oracle is written so weirdly. I'm sure I'll still collect all the sabbats.

The Herbal Astrology Oracle

This is still a pretty new deck to me, and I admit I haven't delved into it like I would like. But there's just SO MUCH TO LEARN and dive into with this deck. It's deep. And the first time I read with it, it gave a really intense reading that I won't go into details about because it hasn't come to pass yet. I can tell that this deck is accurate and will give good messages, though. I could spend years on this deck and still feel like I have more to learn. And the art is stunning! ******** So that's it! That's my list. How about you? Do you have some favorite decks that you could never part with? Or decks that you keep around because you keep intending to spend more time with them? What are your 10 decks? Let me know in the comments. Blessed be! Read the full article

[campbluelake]

No Comfort in the Waiting Room || Trial 3.6 || Goku || RE: good lord

Johanna Doe sabotaged her prom’s homecoming ballot so she would win prom queen.

Leon had gone to Jo with this secret without further thought.  Even as she grabbed him, pinned him to the wall, pressed her forearm against his neck, demanding to know what was said… he was never sc███d.  He didn’t think anything of it as he read the slip of paper, even teasing lightly, like one would when sharing gossip.  A facetious tut, that suggests it’s a behavior one should be chided for, but wink wink nudge nudge, your secret’s safe with me.

But it wasn’t even her secret.  She’d never even gone to prom.  Leon hadn’t either, of course.

“We should have a prom here! Do you know how to ballroom dance?”“I kinda do! … But you just ran that dating event. You need to slow down, buster!”“Ehe… but it’s so FUN getting everyone together… I don’t have to run it, though! Maybe you can ask Tommy to dress up and meet you somewhere in the woods for your own mini prom!! Ohhh, that’d be so cute… or, you know, do whatever you want!! … Just saying… it’s never too late to experience things you never got to enjoy as a kid, you know?”

Luck of the draw.

If his and Warrick’s secrets had been swapped, somehow– if he’d just thought to ask, maybe he could have intervened.  Maybe he could have talked to Jo about murder; they were friends, right?  They could laugh it off together.  And nobody would have to get hurt.

But he didn’t do any of that, of course.  It didn’t even occur to him.

In a moment of discretion that he will regret for the rest of his life, Leon had decided to keep Jo’s secret– fake as it was– just that.  A secret.

“Hey Rick. Did you ever go to prom?”“I did. Why?”“Just thinking… what was it like?  … Would you wanna do it again?”

He wonders, now, if this has anything to do with Jo not going to prom.  He can’t say he pities her, anymore.

No, there’s a new feeling entirely.  An emotion he’d previously identified as excitement in the last two trials, gets swallowed whole by a miserable tar that sticks to his diaphragm.  It coats his lungs, seals his throat.  He’s never felt anything like this.

“… The point of prom is to go with someone. Right?”“Yeah. … Why?”“Then… I’d do it again going with someone. Since I didn’t last time.”

Saya says he’s devastated.  That’s probably a good start.

But, more than that, there’s an urgency that boils under his skin– it doesn’t buzz like usual, motivating him to dive into investigations, to trials. 

It does not yield, it does not sit patiently at his side, urging him to remain in character.  It does not empower him to humanize Jo, to find reason in the carnage.  It does not comb gentle, reassuring fingers through his hair, with the knowledge that he and Warrick would once again emerge unscathed.

“I never really thought about, you know, a label. Have you?”“Not like that.  It feels… the word boyfriend. That sounds juvenile.”“It does feel a bit high school… Prom is also kinda high school, though, right?”“………… so be my boyfriend at prom, then.”

It reminds him, cruelly, of what he’s lost.  It does not afford him the luxury of distance that he’s so selfishly enjoyed with each death before.  It grabs his hand, forcing it down and welding it to the hot stove he’s been avoiding for hours.

Days.

Years.

It also reminds him that there are thirteen other people here, each with complex emotional responses he couldn’t begin to parse.  Thirteen other people, grieving Julio.  Grieving Niko.  Grieving Kaede.  Grieving Lydia.  Grieving Tommy. 

And he’d smiled the entire time.

Their words are mostly just words to him, static playing in the background as he finds himself locked in his own brain– but Kyousuke gives voice to whatever ichor is brewing in his bones.  That seems to be a running theme, something he’s not sure if Kyousuke is aware of.  He’ll have to thank him later.  It’ll be a nice distraction.

His heart pounds valiantly against Abigail’s back, preparing for a fight that will never happen.  An outburst that will die before it reaches Leon’s tongue.  All he can manage, as he struggles with coherence long enough to write down a vote– two letters, this shouldn’t be so difficult– is one feeble sentence.

A question, broken by choked, pathetic sobs.

To maybe accomplish one small piece of understanding.  Maybe it’s a fool’s errand, trying to understand the workings of a serial killer.  To understand why she chose the weapon she did.  To understand why she played with Warrick, like a cat does a mouse. 

To understand why, or how, she chose to disguise herself. 

“… Where, the huh, the HELL, did you, p-put, all your, HAIR?”

[devildomimagines]

Could you do the brothers (Lucifer especially) reacting to an MC who jokes all the time, seems carefree and stupid but eventually they find out that MC is actually a very deeply caring, responsible and intelligent person. They act like an idiot likely as a response to some adversity in their own past. Sorry if its complicated, i just like the idea of the brothers almost discounting MC only to realise they weren't looking deeply enough

Hi Anon! Thanks for the request! Sorry it took me so long to get to, it's been busy in my personal life. The older brothers are under the cut so this post isn’t a mile long lol. I hope this is worth the wait!

Belphegor

King of rolling his eyes at your antics.

Belphie is maybe the most knowledgeable about humans so, of anyone, he might be able to see a little deeper than the surface.

On one of the rare occasions you got Belphie out of the house, you two came across a Little D that was clearly lost.

He didn’t pay it any mind since he figured the Little D would just teleport to their master but you insisted on helping.

As you knelt down to the creature Belphie stood back and watched as you quickly soothed the Little D’s worries and it hopped into your arms. 

You brushed past Belphie to carry the spirit across the street and start talking to the shop owner. The two of you laughed and Little D hopped over to the shop owner’s hands.

“The shop keeper knows that Little D’s master and will give them a call,” you explained as you wrapped your arm around his and began leading him down the road.

“You’re amazing MC,” Belphie murmured, such a small act really changed his view of you.

Where he thought you were foolish in trusting him after what happened in the attic, he realized that he wasn’t a special case of forgiveness, you were just a truly caring person. 

“Hm, what was that Belphie?” You asked but he wasn’t sure if you actually didn’t hear him or if you were teasing.

He wasn’t too proud to admit his feelings but his face did heat up a bit, “I said you’re amazing.”

Beelzebub

He’s pretty caring for a demon so he could see you were too, although maybe he didn’t know the depth until today.

The two of you were enjoying a meal in Hell’s Kitchen. Beel was absorbed in the food that he didn’t at first notice you were distracted.

When you asked for a moment and got up to grab the attention of a waiter. Beel watched on curiously, he was hoping you were asking for more food.

The waiter nodded along and ducked into the kitchen. You waited in that spot and you caught Beel’s stare. You waved at him with a smile.

He waved back with a fried shadow bat in hand.

You laughed and then the waiter was back. They handed you a to-go container, you talked for a second, probably thanking them and then made your way across the restaurant, walking right past your table.

Beel thought to call out to you as if you had somehow accidentally overshot the table but you made your way right out the door.

He started to get up to go after you, he shoveled a few things in his mouth not totally satisfied but more confused why you were leaving.

Then he saw you through the window. He stopped moving as you approached a small demon looking into the restaurant through the window. Beel sat and watched the scene unfold.

It jumped back away from you, probably not having seen a human before, and was clearly defensive as you talked. You then offered the to-go container, popping it open so the demon could see the food contained.

The little demon inched closer, clearly hungry and tempted by the food you offered. You nodded and the demon took the container and ran. You watched for a second and then came back into the restaurant to join Beel.

You sat down like nothing had happened and went back to your meal. When Beel didn’t start eating you asked,  “What is it? Do I have something on my face!?”

He shook his head no, “You’re incredible.” He picked back up eating but he would not forget this moment.

Asmodeus

You watched on as Asmo was applying his make-up. He always enjoys your company when preparing for the day but he noted you were reading the ingredients pretty seriously.

“What’s got you frowning MC?” 

“This is from the human realm, right?” you held up the bottle so he could see the label in the mirror.

He hummed, “That’s right, I get products from all over so that one is definitely from the human realm. Have you used it before?”

“Um, no I tended to stay away from their brand.” You put the bottle back where you found it.

“Why’s that? It is kind of expensive in Grimm, was it the same in your currency?”

“Not really, it’s just that…” you paused trying to think of the most sensitive way to put it, “there are make-up brands in the human realm that test their products on animals before marketing it to humans.”

“How cute!” Asmo giggled at the thought of bunnies in blush.

“No Asmo, it’s more like they are testing if their products are safe for humans by using animals as a proxy. It can be brutal and even unnecessary and could result in the animal’s death.”

Asmo had stopped and turned to look at you as you explained. His face was slightly troubled.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable! I just tried to use products that didn’t use that as a part of their process in manufacturing so as to not cause any unnecessary distress.”

He nodded understanding your thought process. The Devildom didn’t have such markers since suffering was the norm.

The fact that you were thinking about what products you used and their impact on others, even just some animals, had him reassessing you.

It was more thoughtful than he originally credited you. When you and him were joking around and gossiping, he figured your interests were more superficial.

It was refreshing that not only could you keep up with the most recent hot news around town but you truly cared and respected your impact on others.

“Asmo?” You asked, he had been quiet for a while lost in thought.

“It’s nothing!” He recovered but he kept peeking back at you with a mysterious smile.

Satan

The two of you were studying in the RAD library.

There was a particularly tough exam coming up, notorious for dropping the GPA of 75% off the class.

Satan was confident in his abilities but he agreed to come study for your sake. He didn’t have access to know your grade like Lucifer did but he assumed you were struggling by your pleas for his help and deprecating jokes about failing.

He watched as you diligently took out your books and notebook. You flipped through a few of your notes and then shifted your focus to your textbook. Satan shrugged as he opened his own books, you seemed to be off to a fine start.

After about an hour you asked, “Can we quiz each other?”

He agreed and flipped to the end of the chapter he was on for the review questions. Satan took a question and asked it in a slightly different way so you couldn’t rely on memorized answers. 

To his surprise you answered correctly and made up a question for him that he thought was actually pretty difficult. 

Of course he got it right but shrugged it off as a fluke that you didn’t mean to ask such a hard question. The next one he asked you was harder, not from the textbook in any way, it was something that the teacher had mentioned offhand in class.

You got it correct again. With your turn next, you asked another complex question.

Satan answered properly but was now on the edge of his seat, surely twice in a row was not a coincidence.

His next question, he matched your difficulty. You thought for a few minutes and dived into explanation with examples and even a source that you quoted off the top of your head. Your answer was insightful and succinct.

You were waiting for Satan’s assessment of your answer but he sat unmoving.

“Was I mistaken?” You asked, and started frantically looking through your notes.

While you reviewed your materials, Satan was seeing you in a new light. He figured you got along so well with Mammon because the two of you could joke and slack off with the best of them. He thought that you and Asmo got along more as a pair of airheads. But here you were, in this moment your intelligence came off as easy and effortless.

“No, you were right.”

“Really?” you looked up surprised but happy.

He smiled back, but wondered, “What is your current grade in this class, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Last I checked, like 96?”

Satan laughed and shook his head, unbelievable that he thought otherwise.

Leviathan

He already thought of himself as a charity case. The fact that you would be willing to sacrifice your time to be with him was a miracle in his eyes.

No matter how many times you told him you wanted to hang out with him, it wasn’t a sacrifice, he still didn’t believe you.

When he gets more comfortable around you, he let’s you see his uglier sides when the envy consumes him.

You were a safe space he could vent to and you took that responsibility seriously. You listened and he felt the things he shared never left his room when you left.

It was after one of those vent/gaming sessions that you had to excuse yourself.

You had never gotten up in the middle like that and it scared Levi, had he gone too far? Did you actually hate him?

He watched silently as you left the room. Once the door closed, he was on his feet, what was so important? He decided to follow you.

Levi followed about a hallway behind you, as you turned a corner he would sprint to the corner to watch where you go next.

He followed all the way to the kitchen? He didn’t want to peek in fear of being caught but he listened as you greeted Beel.

Beel asked what’s up and you answered you were getting snacks for an intense gaming night with Levi. Beel must have perked up with the snacks you grabbed and you shooed him off, “If Levi’s up for it, you can join us but you can’t have that snack, I made it for a special occasion.”

Special… special? Levi couldn’t wrap his head around it when he thought of himself but the silence in the kitchen meant you must be leaving… meaning you were heading right for the door he was cupping!

He turned around and found a hiding spot on the other side of the hall behind a vase.

The door swung open as he held his breath. You started the way you came. You were heading for his room and he wasn’t there!

Cue montage of Levi comically running through the halls of HOL to get to his room before. He jumps into his gaming chair seconds before you open his door quietly.

He was panting and sweaty when he turned towards you with a smile, totally failing to act natural.

“Sorry I got up so abruptly but I just remembered I made you this!” You presented a cupcake exactly replicated from the anime the two of you watched last week.

Levi’s heart melted, he felt bad that he had second guessed you. He reached out for the cupcake with one hand and with the other he took your hand to pull you to the bean bags. He was blushing but still said, “Let’s put on that anime while I eat it.”

The level of detail that you had gotten correct showed how dedicated you had been to paying attention to his interests and how much you cared for him in turn. He was also impressed with your baking knowledge, it takes a decent level of skill to be able to replicate something just from seeing it.

The scene was coming up where the protag was going to give the cupcake and Levi was struck with the most embarrassing thought. But if anyone would indulge him, it was you.

As the protag took the cupcake, Levi copied their posture. Then he copied their words in unison they both said, “Thank you, no one has ever made me anything like this before.” The two of them ripped the cupcake in half in the same spot and he extended the half to you as he protag did, “Will you share it with me?”

“Of course!” You and the character answered together then giggled as Levi blushed and hid behind the half cupcake as the two of you returned to sitting on the beanbags.

There was no way he was ever going to forget this moment, his eyes opened to how much you did care for him. Even if he was doubtful of others by nature, he would never doubt you again.

Mammon

People always write Mammon off as dumb and because you have a pact with him, you’re often included in that assumption. The two of you get along like peas in a pod. You’re here for a good time and Mammon can definitely provide that. 

His schemes to make money keep things interesting so you usually go along unless you have other commitments. Today’s work was clean-up in the local park. Not because it was lucrative, but because this was a punishment from a prank that backfired.

You had pleaded with Diavolo for a lighter sentence on Mammon’s behalf as his pact partner and Diavolo indulged you.

Mammon was brooding on your way to the park but you were looking forward to being outside in nature for the day so you chattered aloud to fill the silence.

Barbatos was waiting for you two with the materials you would need. He gave you a look of pity when you turned but Mammon caught it and knew Barbatos was probably feeling sorry you had to be punished when you didn’t do anything. Mammon ripped the rake out of Barbatos’ hand and sulked off after you.

You each set to different tasks, Mammon raking leaves and you weeding the flowerbeds. 

Demons and spirits passed with a few snickers, definitely not the first time Mammon had been sent to do community service but he hated that you were now a laughing stock with him. You didn’t seem phased by it though, even flashing him a bright smile when you two made eye contact. 

Halfway through the day, the two of you were taking a break for a snack and fluids, you shared a bench and admired the work so far. “We might even finish early!” You shared your optimism.

Mammon nodded but still kept quiet. It was so unlike him and you were hitting your limits of how to try to get him out of his own head, you figured he would be back to normal tomorrow but missed hearing his voice.

You two split the last of the duties, you were now cleaning equipment and decorations while he was trimming bushes and trees.

While Mammon was trimming a nearby bush, he heard your voice, then heard his name. He peeked through the bush to watch you talking with a crow.

“I thought it would make the day more fun if I was here with him because he always makes me have fun but it’s like I’ve made his mood worse…” You looked down at the bird bath you had been polishing and knelt down. The crow watched your movements from it’s perch on the top. “Maybe he hates that I intervened with Diavolo, I probably overstepped. I don’t know what I can do to get Mammon out of this funk. What do you think?”

The crow outstretched it’s wings and took off. You pouted, but continued polishing. Mammon was about to push through the bushes to comfort you, his mood wasn’t your fault and he felt even worse that you thought that but then the crow returned.

It swooped onto your shoulder and dropped something into your hand. You jumped with surprise and it scared the crow off your shoulder, it resettled on the bird bath. “This is perfect! Thank you!” The crow let you give it a few scritches and took off once more. You looked around for Mammon.

He nonchalantly rounded the bush so you would notice him, “Mammon! Look!” You rushed over and handed him the object.

It was a golden grimm coin. You explained, “A crow gave it to me, that has to be good luck! Take it and your luck will change, you won’t be punished forever!”

He wrapped you in a tight hug. What did he do to deserve you? Why did you care about him so deeply that you’d give him your treasure and good luck?

You laughed into his hug and he pulled back, “Alright, let’s finish this up and go home, I’ll treat ya to some ice cream on the way back.” He ruffled your hair but your shining eyes and too big smile made him blush and turn away.

Lucifer

He questioned if putting you under Mammon’s care at first was a mistake.

It’s not that you didn’t get along, in fact you two got along too well. Was Mammon’s stupid tendencies to slack off rubbing off on you?

You had been coming back late without being accompanied by one of his brothers and he was determined to find out what you were up to.

For the morning, he watched as you and Mammon walked to school. Lucifer stayed far enough away so he couldn’t be sensed so he couldn’t hear what you two were saying but it was clear you were having a good time. Mammon was snickering as you animatedly gestured and walked backwards. Lucifer’s heart warmed that his brother was genuinely happy then realized he was getting distracted.

You sat through your first class diligently taking notes and participating. The same for most of the classes that day. Lucifer started to acknowledge your responsibility to learning but it made him all the more curious as to why you skipped your last class. 

He watched you look around for any onlookers and dipped into the library. He was both surprised and amused that you were meeting with Simeon. The angel was leading you astray? 

Simeon didn’t look happy about it either, probably scolding you for missing class, but he was a pushover and your pathetic look won him over. The two of you sat as Simeon talked. You were taking notes on whatever Simeon was lecturing on. 

You left the interaction and Lucifer took the chance to talk with Simeon himself. He learned that you were asking about stories from the Celestial Realm. Simeon offered that it was just human nature to be curious what lays beyond life. Lucifer, the ever-skeptic, didn’t believe that was it.

He had lost your trail by talking to Simeon so he went home to wait for your return.

Lucifer intercepted you as you tried to sneak in. “MC, this way please,” he led you to his office, “How was today?”

“Good?” you answered but was unsure why he looked so serious.

“How was class?” 

You got nervous but answered, “Fine, same old same old.”

“Ah,” Lucifer smirked, “And how was Simeon?”

Your attempt to play dumb failed spectacularly when you stammered, “W-who’s Simeon?”

“Lying to me won’t do you well,” Lucifer reminded.

“Sorry, it’s just it wasn’t an approved activity so I didn’t want anyone in your family to be implicated…” you scratched the back of your head and looked away.

“And what activity is that?”

“Oh I thought you knew since you caught me,” you laughed, “Solomon and I were going to play with young demons at an orphanage in town. We were telling them stories from the Human Realm but I thought it would be nice to incorporate stories from the Celestial Realm too.”

Lucifer sighed.

You took that as a sign he was disappointed so you continued, “Let me explain, I know I should have asked permission first and for that I’m sorry. Solomon and I just stumbled on the place one day and the kids bombarded us with questions, never having seen humans before and before I knew it we were going almost everyday. I guess I thought it wouldn’t be bad because exposing the next generation of demons to humans would help Diavolo’s mission to strengthen relations between the realms. And I asked Simeon for stories so we could share Celestial Realm things too without getting Simeon in trouble or putting him in an uncomfortable position.”

Well that was definitely an eye opener for Lucifer. What you said made sense that changing minds starts with the youth. His original assumptions that you were just shirking responsibilities was way off base. He didn’t want to but admitted to himself he was wrong. Not only had you been doing something charitable but you were furthering Lord Diavolo’s message in a different way.

“You’re correct, you should have asked permission,” he started and you sank in your seat, “but I don’t see any harm in what you’re doing except for missing classes.” You sank further in your seat. “For skipping class, you’ll need to do extra studies,” he paused to make sure you knew this was a punishment, “I think a fitting topic would be interracial communication with a focus on the youth of Devildom.”

You perked up with a smile, “So I can keep going to the orphanage?”

Lucifer fought back a smile himself, trying to continue to be stern, “Yes, but that’s only if you don’t skip class and you have one of my brothers accompany you. As competent as Solomon is, he is also human and I would feel better if you had a demon escort.”

You were absolutely beaming now. “I’d like that but I don’t think you brothers would be interested.”

“They’ll do what they’re told but I think the twins would enjoy it the most,” Lucifer offered.

“Thanks! I would like if you could join us sometime too,” you suggested shyly.

He did smile at that, “If my schedule allows,” He didn’t finish before you were hugging him. He stiffened, not used to being hugged after doling out a punishment but softened and returned your hug, “I’ll make time to join you.”

[hanji-is-life]

Just thinking about Virgin Bakugou who has absolutely no idea what the hell he’s looking at when he sees you for the first time.

Yeah, he’s watched porn and he essentially knows what a pussy looks like, but it’s a completely surreal experience seeing it wet and dripping right in front of him.

Especially knowing it’s connected to you.

He silently loves the fact that you’re directing him through how to pleasure you. He was ready to argue, but the thought of being bad or even hurting you started to override his superiority complex of knowing and being amazing at everything.

You tell him to lay between your spread legs, how to touch you, where. You spread your own puffy lips, pink opening glistening with your arousal as he just moans at the sight, grinds his rapidly filling cock against the mattress.

He dives in before you give him proper instructions, just starts lapping at your entrance, sucking up the rolls of slick that drops between your cheeks. He practically sucks the dampened sheets underneath your ass in between desperate lips, eyes rolling in the back of his head at your sweet taste.

He just laps at your opening for a while before you tug his soft, spiky hair tight in your fingers. You’re trying to be gentle about guiding him, but he’s just taking what he wants.

He needs to listen.

So you pull your lips back further with one hand, legs spreading even wider so he could get an even clearer view of your fluttering hole that’s slick with your juices and his spit. You use your index finger to roll slightly over you clit as you force his head to become eye level with it.

“Lick her. Pay attention to her. Give her a kiss, just focus on her. Okay, handsome?”

You try to use your sweetest voice, which actually works. Bakugou moans, nodding his head as much as he can in your grip. He lowers his head, still keeping eye contact as he gives your clit the softest little kiss. When your eyes flutter, a breathy moan slipping through your lips, is when he realizes he’s doing everything right.

He goes about it viciously the more you moan, the more your hips shake, the harder your grip gets in his hair, the harder you buck your trembling cunt against his open and pliant mouth. He knows his cock is leaking like a faucet on the bedsheet with the way he’s grinding and humping it, like some feral dog.

“Good boy,” you praise through a whine. “Good f-fucking boy, Katsuki. You listen s’good, handsome.” You’re slurring, one hand pinching your nipple while the other shoved Bakugou even further between your thighs. You’re warming his ears at this point, heels digging into his strong back as you never let him come up for air. He doesn’t act like he needs it anyway, not with the way he greedily gulps your juices and inhales your scent with a shuddering moan.

“Just put a finger inside—ah! Just like th-that! Fuck I’m gonna—” Bakugou listens immediately, shoving not one, but two thick fingers inside of your sopping wet heat. He pumps his fingers twice, one more time with a curl and you’re bursting all over his face.

Your release is messy, prolonged as he continues sucking on your clit lazily, trying to help you come down from your high. After you push softly at his head, he’s pulling away and sitting up on heels.

Bakugou is panting, his cock drooling an obscene amount of precum as he grips his base to keep from coming too early. He looks desperate, cheeks red, eyes low, his bottom lip bitten harshly between white teeth. He waits for further instruction like the good boy he wants you to call him.

“Now fuck me with this fat cock like a good boy, before I fucking take it.” You can’t help but growl. He just looks so good like this, all desperate, his cock hanging heavily between thick muscled thighs you want to crush you, hanging onto your every word and whisper. He whimpers, fucking whimpers, body shivering as he grips himself harder to keep from coming. You can feel your eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Oh? You like that? Like the thought of being used as my human dildo?” You tease, leaning forward to grip his pulsing cock between your hands, batting his own away. He nods, mouth dropping open to let a quiet groan as you pump him quickly, building him up until he’s close to coming. You let go when he starts to fuck into your hand, when his balls start tightening up closer to his body, when his tongue starts to slowly loll out of his mouth.

He releases a frustrated grunt, red eyes glowering down at you as he pouts. You can’t help but laugh, bringing your hand to your mouth to lick away the precum that has made your hand sticky, keeping eye contact the entire time. You crook a finger to him, and he follows, almost in a daze.

Grabbing his cock again, you position it at your wet entrance, rubbing the tip against you, slapping it down onto your clit wetly. After getting the choked gasp and whine you wanted, you lay back, wrap your legs around his tiny waist and smirk.

“Better not come too fast, or else I’ll really use you like a human fucking dildo. Get to work, handsome.” And he does.

Just thinking about Virgin Bakugou.

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Let me propose an idea that lives in my head rent free. Ok so August and Sara😤Majority of the fandom hate them but me..

Ok hear me out; both of them are so complex. When you really pay attention to August you can see that he’s really just lost. He tried talking about his dad with Wille when they’re both outside peeing but Wille ignores him going on about Erik(understandable, he literally just died) and at the parents day lunch when someone assumes his step dad is his dad he gets so defensive. He’s clearly not past his dad committing sewerslide, and possibly hasn’t even had the opportunity to really open up about it. I can’t even imagine what kind of a toll that would take on you and he probably has many different thoughts regarding it. (Guilt,anger, etc) That could be why he started using, I assume. His relationship with his mom clearly isn’t great, and Erik said that Hillerska is basically his entire life now. The combination of the drugs, and School being the only thing going for him makes it very reasonable why he’s so serious and amped up about everything. Especially being apart of the Royal family. Outside of those things he literally doesn’t think he has anything. It makes sense why his character would take it so seriously. Now the whole video thing, I don’t really want to get into that bc I’m really high and I’m already using all the braincells I have to compel this. He did that out of spite of Wille telling everyone he was broke. I think it hit something in him mentally which fused him to leak the video. That in no way justifies it whatsoever. Afterwards though, you can tell he’s guilty. In his little actions/body language, you can tell. He looks like a clown but you can tell. Ok here’s my idea tho I kinda just went into an August deep dive without meaning to.

I think he’s redeemable, not forgivable. I’ve watched so many series that go on for a good amount of seasons, where in the last season the most loved character was the most hated in the first one. It happens so often in storytelling. I have a theory that he is actually genuinely gonna fall for Sara. Sara may or may not reciprocate deep feelings, maybe just minor or wanting to be with someone. And rewatching season 1 there’s this scene in I think episode two where August was trying to get Felice to go on a date with him, and she is talking to Stella and Fredrika about it after. They’re talking about how bad August is as a guy and Fredrika says “Real love can actually change you” that kinda seemed like foreshadowing to me idk. I’m so intrigued by Sara and Augusts dynamic. At first it was confusing and kinda icky but after all the rewatches I started to maybe kind of get it. August needs to be heard. I really think that’s it. Sara listened to him when she confronts him, let’s him vent and say how he really feels. And after all of that, after knowing he did something terrible, she tells him how she feels and what she wants, and then kisses him. If I were August in that situation I would feel accepted, heard, and maybe even understood. And like wait you want to kiss me after I just admitted all that? Sara was the first person that we have seen actually listen to his thoughts. It would so make sense if he actually falls for her. He’s clearly intrigued by her before that scene also, as she’s different from other girls he’s been with or talked to. If we have a season 3 or more I wouldn’t be surprised at all if we see a huge arc for him. I don’t think Sara will be his main storyline in this arc, just to make myself clear. It will need to be with Wille. Wille and Simon, as they’re the ones he fucked over. I don’t know where Lisa and the writers are going with him but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if something like this happens with his storyline. Who fucking knows, but if I’m actually onto something I’m gonna eat that shit up. Ok thank you for your time❤️🤩

Ok, hi bestie. I like where your head is. I think a lot of the same, too. In fact, I was just telling people the other day that the reason August is such a good villain is because he's not one. He's just a superbly fucked up kid. He's nuanced. He's not completely bad and not evil. He's just incredibly fucked in the head and he's drowning.

I honestly cannot wait to see where they go with his character. It's bound to be interesting. As much as I hate him, I cannot stop thinking about August and all the different layers of his character.

I've actually had a couple of posts recently about this type of stuff, so I'm going to link them:

Is August redeemable.

my thoughts on Sara/August.

my thoughts on August's attachment issues.

Happy reading, anon.

[doctorofmagic]

My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.