#he is so silly and insane to me heehee

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Bro your human pizzahead design is so good??? Like him also being an old man like Peppino makes more sense in my head? Idk but It's great! probably my new favorite human PH tbh

HEY THANKS 💖 obv human designs are whatever u want them to be but i like the fact that hes like silly guy w an old timey pipe for some reason? And a theme song sampling a very old timey song? I think its neat! Also i promised myself that if i was compelled to make a human design of a character a White Man, it could not be a 18-24 yr old blond hair blue eyed twink jffbjfbdkdndkdn so older greying silly businessman is what i was left with 😊

[implied-gay-sex]

I crave him carnally

[sayitwityachest]

i got a job and now i talk to people every day and i am doing better. maybe possibly making a freaky weirdo angry friend. it is looking Up

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon 162 spoilers and thoughts except i'm a little bit late with them just a tad but it's okay we ball

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i think. genuinely. the art and panels for this episode are my new top tier THEY'RE SO DAMN FUNNY I WAS LAUGHING THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME HAHAHAHAA

LIKE LOOK AT THEM THE DOUBLE TROUBLE DUO EVER I FUCKING LOVE THEIR EXPRESSIONS they're menacing in such different ways but at the same damn level they're so duo i love them so much stupid fucking guys /aff

now back to the top heehee VERKIS GOING STRAIGHT TO THE DAMN MOON

he knew the horror that was about to fall out of lloyds mouth and did not warn anybody bro just went to spectate i love him so much

also a glimpse at the planet lorasia is on!!! yippee yippee! it looks very similar to earth but the continental shapes are different,,, wonder if bk moon will ever write a story thats cross continental!!! is that how u use that term idk

AND CHRIST WAS IT HORRIFYING

LLOYD. LLOYD UR SINGING COULD DESTROY NATIONS. U COULD CONQUER THE WORLD JUST BY CALLING ONE NOTE. THIS IS AUDIO WARFARE WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL this is way too OP HAHAHAHA

ALSO ALSO HIS STANCES BEFORE AND AFTER HOLY FUCK. THE AURA IN THEM I FEEL INSANE lloyd you motherfucker ily so much never stop slaying both literally and metaphorically THE ART IS SO SO FUN

AND THEN THATS HOW RAPHAEL SAYS FUCK LAKDJFLSKDFHAAA HELPP he knew he was done for he could tell. his fucking blank ass face ohhh god i feel so so damn bad for this guy LOL

THAT BACK AND FORTH BY JAVIER AND LLOYD WAS CALCULATED AND ALSO MONSTROUS AS HELL. INSANE MOVE INSANE THEYRE SO FUCKING. AJDFLKJSLDFKJSDFH in sync <3 the boyfs ever beating up angels together <3 i LOVED how much they matched/paired with each other in these panels its so fucking good

SO many matching pfp moments here in this ep and i think these two in particular are my favorite HAHAHAHAAA ive said this before but i love how differently they showcase their menacing behavior hehee

AND THEN RIGHT AFTER THAT THE MOMENT RAPHAEL WAKS UP LLOYD GOES STRAIGHT TO GASLIGHTING. OH MY FUCKING GOD HES SO ANNOYING I LOVE HIM SM

also more duo expressions here heehee i just also really like this panel javier looks like he does Not want to be this Evil despite the fact that he's doing it anyway. lloyd youve taught him so well <3

also poor raphael again god he looks so fucking beat up LMFAOOO just a mf coughing baby :sob emoji:

AND THEN AND THEN. JAVIER BARGING IN he looks so fucking stiff here he's trying his mf best at this role he's found himself playing AHAHAHAHHAA

AND THE FUCKING. THEM HOLDING EACH OTHER BACK I WAS GIGGLING SO FUCKING BAD . ALSO THEM JUST HOLDING AND HUGGING IN GENERAL I LOST MY MIND WHAT THE FUCK. THEY'RE MATCHING THEY'RE MATCHING HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVED HTIS BIT the timing of it was so gold THEYRE SO FUNNY

javier's sentences being short and stiff he's a terrible fucking actor HAHAHAA

i feel so bad for raphael bro completely fell for it,,, poor little hamster,,, little guy doesnt know whats coming,,, that contract sealed his fate,,,,,,

WE ALSO GOT A >:3 LLOYD I THINK THATS AN IMPORTANT THING TO ADD. NOW WE HAVE A TOTAL OF TWO :3 LLOYDS OFFICIALLY IN THE WEBTOON here is to hoping we get more. its my favorite stupid expression i need more of it. lloyd is so >:3c to me that when i type that i think of him

again tho thats so damn evil of lloyd taking advantage of raphael's naivety :sob: silly guy ilysm

ALSO ALSO. THIS SERIOUS LLOYD MOMENT WHERE HE ACTUALLY MAKES A DAMN GOOD POINT ABOUT HOW THE HEAVENLY REALM HAS BEEN TREATING THE LOWER REALM. OHHHHH THAT WAS SO SO GOOD he's so cool when he's proving a point / spitting fire i love it when he does this and im glad he said smth, i rlly hope raphael can help w the realms and their communication so that shit like the jewel of truth getting illegal'd / other things like that can go smoother

the crossed arms n everything THATS SOOOOO HEHEHEHHEHEE DANCING AROUND

AND THEN NOT EVEN A MOMENT LATER HE GOES STRAIGHT INTO CONTRACT MODE I LAUGHED MY MF ASS OFFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

EVIL BASTARD. U AWFUL SCHEMER U. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH HAHAHAHAHAHA

do you think zhongli and lloyd would get along in a weird fucked up kind of way? i do. i think they should form a contract somehow and then fuck around a little bit

anyway im VERY excited to see what lloyd has planned for raphael exactly and also, since the jewel of truth is gonna get finished, what its going to say!!! swear to god fate better be beatable or im going to like. idk. curl up and cry. i need lloyd to finally get the happy ending he wanted, the lavish and carefree life he's been working for his entire life, one that's surrounded by people and family and loved ones and peace peace peace PLEASSSEEE HE'S WORKED SO HARD

sorry about this being mostly reacting too btw im just. eehehehehehe much action not much to say so im just giddy over this ep LOL

thats all from me for now!! see yall next week!!!! (aka tmrw when the update drops. bc this post was a teensy bit late. heehoo)

[milkywaydrabbles]

Hii it's me again!

I wanted to say thank you for answering my questions! It's was so nice to finally talk to you. I'm glad you brought up sanzu because I think with your dark writing style you could capture characters like sanzu and hanma in a really deep headspace. A lot of people write sanzu as cold and chaotic but forget that he was characistically loyal to a fault (and low-key a God complex when it came to mikey).

I feel his bontent executive lifestyle would not be one of stability or kindness and that any women that somehow peaked (and kept) his interest would be stuck between his curiosity and (not so subtle) obsessive tendencies masked as loyalty. What do you think🤔

Either way I'm so excited to see how your future works will be with him! He's such an enigma that dark creators like yourself truly get to play around with the many faces they have. I hope you don't work yourself too hard with all our requests❤️ make sure to eat something delicious as a treat.

-🐇 anon

OKAY I'm on a computer just for this ask bc I have a lot to say I think and I need full mobility lmao. One I'd like to thank YOU for your kind words and thoughtfulness I appreciate it so much! It's really great to have these deeper questions for these characters because they really are so complex, and I know I get caught up in just the heehee haha's of it all and writing them the way I'd like to see it or someone requests it but thinking about what they do or say in the real world would be terrifying.

SO SANZU! While I do think he is cold and chaotic, I completely agree with you. Don't get me wrong I LOVE the way people write him and I think it's phenomenal I can read Sanzu fics all that (@ everyone reading this if you have faves drop the link) but sometimes I do think sight is lost on who he is/how he's depicted. Sanzu is cold in the sense that no one else is worth his time, because Mikey exists. He doesn't have time for niceties because he has a job to do, and everyone else just gets in the way. Sanzu's chaotic in the way a gang member has to be to survive. But I think we also gloss over the fact that he's taking drugs. Now while it's not explicitly discussed what it is, I imagine it's an upper, so most pills are out the window (except party drugs but they won't do much in comparison to how he acts).

But I like to think the drugs he takes is a combo of something like coke and heavy medication (that he very blatanlty abuses) to cope with the trauma that he practically relives. He has a lot of PTSD that's really shifted its way to stockholm syndrome with what Mikey did to him. The way he's still so loyal to him is really a trauma response beacuse it's easier to deal with. I think ALL OF THIS creates such an intense character that without thinking much about it can get boiled down to just a crazy silly guy with a gun.

Sanzu in a relationship is a terrifying concept, because he really would be obsessive. I don't even think he'd be the type of obsessive that would kill a man because he's jealous, I think his mind would tell him it's out of pure protection for whoever's he's dating. I think the longer he's with them the more difficult it is for him to stop himself from being outwardly obsessed, but I think the exposure to his lifestyle over however long would kind of make his s/o be like 'okay well this is him and i love him so it's okay' type deal (we know that's not healthy)

I think if I let this fester in my brain I can create a lil sumn for Sanzu because he's a scary individual that has CPTSD and doesn't recognize that, along with an insane amount of power and a drug dependancy.

ALSO this is a sidebar but I read a short drabble once about Sanzu seeing someone and Mikey found out and basically executed them in front of Sanzu, and he immediately after shot himself in the head. It was intense but a really good ficlet and that seems VERY accurate for Sanzu in a relationship, that eventually they will overtake the number one spot from Mikey and he'll be so attached to them that he'd just take his own life because he can't live without them. I need to find it bc it was good.

ANYWAYS THIS IS A LOT TO TAKE IN IM' SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH I LOVE YOU NONNIE. I hope I get to write for him and characters like Hanma soon in the future, it's very fun!!!

[driftingballoons]

2 for the ask game? I have a feeling i know but I offer an invitation to yap hehe

I always welcome the opportunity to ramble heehee :3 anyway you all know it—it’s explorers babeyyy! It was a fantastic introduction to pokemon, which set my expectations for the franchise perhaps a tiny bit higher than they should have been, but to be fair something like explorers is tough to beat. I honestly think it being my first pokemon game was partly why it stuck so much in my mind, as everything was new and exciting, from the pokemon themselves to figuring out things like moves/type matchups. I honestly felt like I was experiencing it as similarly to Hero as possible—having no idea what is going on at any given time. 

And then there’s the plot itself. The fun low-stakes exploring adventures suddenly escalating to a life-or-death situation where time itself is on the verge of collapse was really exciting, and to be honest quite unexpected. I hadn’t even seen a trailer for the game, so had absolutely no idea what to expect going in (which was partly why I thought a plot-twist would be that Grovyle was Hero (=treecko for me) in the future—I didn’t know Grovyle was just always a grovyle🙈).  Plus, I think that, being my first experience with pmd, the plot twist was more impactful than for gates/super. Despite feeling unsettled by Dusknoir even before he started acting shady and being randomly drawn to Grovyle, I was still quite surprised that that was the direction it went! I remember actually feeling bad before the reveal that I just didn’t vibe with Dusknoir, and was wondering what the issue was, especially before he started acting suspicious (beyond his design, which I honestly wasn’t a fan of back then). Really made both characters so much more interesting to me and got me thinking more about the dark future and the pmd world overall :3 

And of course can’t ignore the characters—it’s such a great cast. The guild members were great for the lighter half of the story, while still pulling through as things got heavier, showing that, despite being a bit silly and weird, they really are accomplished explorers. And then here’s Grovyle, Dusknoir, and to a lesser extent Celebi (we were truly robbed). I could probably write an essay on each one—they truly make me insane, probably more-so now than when I first played it 15 years ago.

It was a truly incredible game which, in many ways, made me re-evaluate my approach to and outlook on life. Absolutely rewired my brain. And, although quite a few years later, introduced me to a lot of great people who are also still experiencing the brainrot :3

[noodlesoup1819]

RANPOOO!!!!!

the pastel primary colours are absolutely delicious , and I LOVE THE WAY YOU ALWAYS HIGHLIGHT THE LINE WORK WITH ANOTHER COLOUR!! I know I've said this before but your art style is soooo pretty (probably my favourite heehee)

ALSO THE LITTLE SNACKS IN YOUR ART IS SO CUTEEE. Anyways, it tastes like frosted sugar cookies, and sprinkles! I got my friend to rate it (they doesn't know anything about bsd) and they said it tastes like a vanilla chai latte. UHMMMMMM they also said that Ranpo looks like a COAL SWEEPER boy from the VICTORIAN ERA?!??!? (They're a bit insane)

I LIVE for your art, every time you post I do a little silly dance and have to run around to burn all the energy ✨💖

Ranpo is probably 100% my favorite character in bsd (I love my autistic coded characters. His backstory is my favorite arc. I NEED a series just dedicated to ranpo and fukuzawa in the early days of the agency. ghsdhgfsjdgf I love him so much)

im super glad to be feeling comfy in my original art style again. I'm physically incapable of leaving lineart alone. like. it needs a bit of ✨flavor✨

I'm loving the way the little snacks came out!! I'm half considering making a little spread of just japanese snacks to print myself to use in my journals. (may or may not post it but i can send it to you if you want it if i don't cause ur special like that 💖)

I always think it's hilarious when people who don't watch bsd comment on bsd characters. Like when you watch bsd you get desensitized to its general chaos, but like your friend is... not wrong. Half of the cast dresses like silly little victorian boys you just get distracted from the character design by the story pulling stuff like "oh hey this feisty little ginger has a god living inside him" or "yeah this character got shot in the head - no he didn't die. Someone almost dies like every third chapter its chill." I think the fandom forgets how absolutely outlandish this show is, but I absolutely adore it.

I LIVE for your asks!! They ALWAYS make my day!! never hesitate to bother me in my asks I swear they're 90% of the reason I post my art (also I will literally draw you anything you ask for. Never hesitate if there is something you wanna see 💜)

[spectacularizm]

book

wow Okay so in my last bloggy majiggy I talked about how I don't read that much and how I dislike How To Kill A Mockingbird. Well, now, I'm gonna talk about some books I actually DO like!! 1. Stephen King's "The Mist" ----- Okay well if you couldn't tell by some of my posts, I am a huge fan of The Mist, both the Novella and the movie (not so much the show, though.. I'm gonna pretend that doesn't exist..) The book is surprisingly short, but really intriguing and written in a way that doesn't make it feel short. The book IS a "horror/thriller" genre story though, so if you're not down with that, don't read it. Basically it's about a bunch of silly goobers trapped in a grocery store because the dumbass military opened a rift to an another dimension and the creatures of that dimension, which are gross fleshy bug monsters, started pouring into our world along with a thick fog. It's a fun read, and I love Stephen King, and the movie's REALLY good, so what's not to love? 2. All Quiet on the Western Front/Im Westen nicht Neues ----- This one's a give-in. Look at my profile picture, man. Erich Maria Remarque really hit his magnum opus with this one. Not only is this book stellar, but all 3 movies are unique and do the story so much justice. It's a good length, the length it needs to be for a war story written like a journal. It's captivating, a bit scary, disturbing for sure, depressing, and very melancholic- Because that's what WW1 is. In a nutshell, this story was a way for Erich Maria Remarque to dump all his war views and war experiences into a story through the eyes of 17-18 yr old Paul Baumer (I can't do accented A's on my keyboard I apologize in advance fellow AQOTWF enjoyers!!). It's amazing, purely amazing. Changed my perspective on life. On everything. REALLY recommend, even if war stories aren't your thing. 3. Plaguemaker ----- I bet you ain't even heard of this one heehee haahaa. Written by Tim Downs, in a particularly fancy, inviting and calm way, this story is once again not for the light-hearted. It talks about the horrific atrocities the Japanese Empire committed back in WW2 with their infamous Unit 731 project, and it goes into deep details about it, too. Other than that, it's a very wholesome and ambivalent story, and I really felt connected to it the whole time I read it. When I was done, I felt depressed. Literally. I'm even upset there's no movie on it! Good thing I'm going into the film industry! It follows a New Yorker detective, set on a mission to go bust an 80 yr old Japanese guy who wants revenge on America. Little does he know that 80 year old was involved in some batshit insane WW2 crap and is actually a bio-terrorist who wants to spread the plague all across the states and then some. He teams up with his ex-wife and a fellow old Japanese guy and they go on depressingly heartwarming missions to bust this evil Plaguemaker. --- That's it. That's literally it. I don't read much, I don't really like it, if I'm honest. I mean, you could probably tell? but I'm more of a movie person. Now, I have read some other stuff, like Lord of the Flies which I LOVE but don't feel like ranting about, and I've read the entire Wings of Fire and Warrior Cats series', but both of those fandoms I left a long time ago. Thank you so much for reading, I have a fairly big blog coming up full of doodles of lots of different things, so I probably won't post until then. Feel free to tell me if you like any of these books, too. Stay safe everyone, love you guys <3

[crowleys-right-eyeball]

okay HELLOOOOO SBZ FANS I FINISHED THE GAME!! below the cut they go, pretty long and just rambles lol

- alan is SOOO FUCKING CUTEEEE BUT ESPECIALLY IN THE END HELLO???????

- I LOVE HOW HE STANDS HE’S JUST SO EXPRESSIVE WITH EVERYTHING

- anyway so i took a shit ton of screenshots but the game deleted my save files before i could export them so i’ll have to either replay the ending or go on youtube but i don’t wanna do either of those now. but that sorta ruined my mood with the ending so thank u unknown worlds for designing ur game like that ���🙏

- so anyway. you know how they’re making subnautica 3 right. did you notice in the ending that there’s a fucking???? architect city?????? LITERALLY THERE COULD BE A CITY FULL OF ALANS IN SUBNAUTICA 3

- as for the game itself. it was ight!! it was like ten ish hours shorter than subnautica but maybe that was just me being insanely impatient and googling all the coords out of frustration lmfao

- i give it a 7.5/10!! a ton of the credit goes to the stupid kickable brit and the absolute gilf but everything else was pretty okay!! characters aside, it really wasn’t as scary or as like. immersive as subnautica imo? someone pointed this out on the subreddit and i totally agree but having the seatruck being the only vehicle you need made the deeper parts feel way safer, which sorta just made all the scary parts jumpscares rather than actual terror which i did not love

- now i don’t know if i’m like a total idiot or not with this point but this game felt very. unguided. like once you find alan it’s just a free for all and you have to either wait for him to tell you hey here’s a thing that doesn’t help you at all OR you just wander around aimlessly until you stumble upon something. to be honest though, i started subnautica maybe three ish years ago and i genuinely have no memory of it. i have no idea if i watched a playthrough and knew everything first or went in blind so maybe that’s how the first game is too and i’m just an idiot lmfao, but i googled the coords for everything like i said, and speaking of which tonight’s playthrough should have been way shorter except that i literally could not find the fabricator base or the gate so *shrug*

- this is a minor note that i thought was goofy but my dumb ass did not find outpost zero until i was looking for the gate and i fucking. entered the base and alan started talking to me even though he was already out of my body LMFAO (either the devs did not find this plothole or they did and didn’t think anyone was dumb enough to find it)

- umm what else. i could go on and on about alan and marguerit but i will not bc that’s a post on its own

- hot take: should have been deeper

- thank u unknown worlds for putting my funny youtuber songs into the game love you sm

- the music fucks so hard

- OH i wish the biomes were more significant because a ton of them are SO COOL but i literally only entered them like once for one thing so i do wish there was more diversity with where the story progressed (however i also like how they kept the same subnautica style with how it progresses, as in there’s more the deeper it gets, i just wish the biomes were more diverse with that i guess)

- EDITING THIS BC I FORGOT TO WRITE THIS DOWN!! i LOVEE alan’s character progression throughout the game!! at the start, he’s mostly just confused with robin’s discomfort and he doesn’t really wanna get involved with anything other than his body, but as the game goes on he asks robin questions about humans and he learns stuff like sarcasm and hope and he states his feelings more clearly and i just ;;;;;; melts and sobs and collapses he’s so fucking cute i’m crying

- IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY AND I’LL PROBABLY EDIT THIS LATER BUT YEAH!! MY INCREDIBLE TAKES!!

- next i post about this game will either be if i feel like grabbing and uploading my screenshots OR if i draw a silly little alan and robin drawing heehee

[miniaturetalekitten]

Sweet Dreams - Cjbeards.

Эта песня напоминает мне о том, как игроку разрешается в спешке сбежать из школы. Как будто он собрал все свои тетради, дело закрыто. Но...

Я где-то видел(а), на youtube, что кто-то написал, что Балди выкрикивает свою фразу в самом конце игры, потому что его заменили, Файл говорит его голосом, и он сам не хочет, чтобы игрок уходил... На самом деле мне это показалось трогательным, хотя возможно это всего лишь теория, не знаю... Мне лично очень понравилось! Решил(а) реализовать, хотя немного жутковато, ��и-хи! Совсем не для меня! Это кажется глупым, но ничего страшного, верно? Так вот, мне пришло в голову... все равно безумно приятно об этом думать.

This song reminds me of how a player is allowed to run away from school in a hurry. It's like he's got all his notebooks together, case closed. But...

I saw somewhere, on youtube, that someone wrote that Baldi shouts his phrase at the very end of the game because he was replaced, File says his voice, and he himself does not want the player to leave... I actually found it touching, although this is probably just a theory, I do not know... I personally really liked it! Decided to implement it, although a little creepy, heehee! Not for me at all! It seems silly but no big deal, right? So, it occurred to me... it's still insanely nice to think about it.

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Scrolled through my blog extra fast bc i was looking for some refs (for gerome) and completely forgot i drew human 🍕head; i cannot believe that white man actually jumpscared me 😭

[potassium-pilot]

Prompt 12: Family

A big, blank spot on the wall of the Borel manor parlor wouldn’t normally bother her on another day, but Dia, still recovering from a near-fatal injury she sustained in the last treasure hunt she went on, suffered from intense boredom. Her day seemed wasted to her by sitting around, doing nothing. The books that surrounded her helped, as well as the free company linkshell, but her fellow adventurers were busy adventuring, and one could only bury herself in fiction for so long after spending years firmly planted in reality. Thus did the wall become painfully obvious.

To her, it wasn’t an exaggeration to say it seemed wildly out of place. Many works of art neighbored this new thorn in her side, yet there did that spot sit empty, lifeless, only showing the wallpaper. Why wasn’t there another work of art? Why couldn’t there have been one? Was he so busy that he forgot to hang something new there? Was she so busy that she never thought to ask?

No, that space simply wouldn’t do.

She cautiously stood up from the settee, taking great care not to reopen her abdominal wound, and found a different perspective. It helped little to ease the discomfort the blank wall was causing. There had to be something to place there. She would sneak off to the Jeweled Crozier and shop around herself if the act of even standing wasn’t so painful. Now that the quandary had revealed itself, she pondered what would hurt more to withstand.

“Oh, Mistress Sito, my lord will be rather upset that you’re not resting your wounds”, cautioned the steward, Angelbert, from the doorway to the parlor.

“The man fought off a terrorist cell hours after being stabbed; he can deal with me standing here staring at a wall”, she snarked. The steward frowned at the remark. “May I ask why you choose to stare at a wall, mistress?”

“Angelbert, do you know why there’s a blank spot here?” The old man stepped towards the spot she stood in, and examined the wall. “Running a house near singlehandedly has made it a bit hard to pay attention to wall decorations, I’m afraid, but I’m sure my lord has his reasons.”

She hummed in consideration. “Well, what might he think of filling it with something else, I wonder?”

“Such as?”

“Well, look at the rest of it- there’s art abound. Why not fill that spot with another work?”

Angelbert took a moment to think. “Well, the basement does hold several paintings that remain unhanged.” Dia brought her attention to the steward. “Really?”

“Plenty of them. That in mind, he has precious little time to spend thinking about house decorations.”

“Angelbert, I have nothing but time, at the moment. Why don’t we look through them and see what we can find, then when Aymeric gets home, we can ask what he thinks?” His white eyebrows lifted at the suggestion. “Hm, an interesting proposition. I suppose if my lord’s opinion is weighed as equally as yours, it could be a splendid idea.”

She grinned, and stated, “Well, we can’t stand around here, then. Let’s take a look!”

“Er, Mistress Sito, with all due respect, I would rather not aggravate your wounds further. Why do I not simply bring up the collection myself?”

“Angelbert-“ she was about to dispute it before she took a step ahead of her, and felt as if her core was tearing itself apart. She clutched her wound and strained to get out, “That’s a really good idea, you should do that.”

“Please drink your health potion, mistress! Shall I call the chirurgeon?”

She took her place back on the settee, held up a hand, and answered, “I’m a healer, Angelbert. I’ll take care of it. Just please, grab the paintings.” He bowed and left to find them while Dia examined her wounds and applied pain relief for herself, then drank the health potion as was recommended by the chirurgeon she was brought to, as well as Aymeric, her free company friends with whom she sought the treasure, the Scions, and now Angelbert.

A few minutes passed, and the elder steward returned with artwork in hand. “I found the collection, Mistress Sito.”

“Perfect. Here, sit down and we’ll look through it together.” The steward smiled and sat down with the portraits, ready to examine them together with her.

“This one’s just fruit”, she remarked at an unimaginative bowl of fruit topped with grapes, apples, and a banana, “Doesn’t go with anything up there, don’t you think?”

“I tend to agree.” The steward set the portrait to his side of the settee. “What of this one?”

“Oh, that’s a pretty landscape. I wonder where that is.”

“I’d recognize it anywhere: that’s Providence Point before the Calamity.”

“Aww…” she cooed, “Let’s add that to the ‘maybe’ pile.” Angelbert handed the portrait to Dia, who set it to her right side. “Uh…it’s just a splotch of blue…” she described confusedly of the next option.

“I believe it’s an abstract piece, up for interpretation.”

“I’m interpreting that it’s not a good fit up there.” The painting was placed in Angelbert’s ‘no’ pile on his side of the settee. The next portrait made Dia gasp in excitement. “Is that—“

A realistic portrait portrayed an elderly couple with a young boy between them wearing a green coat, green matching pants, and black dress shoes-typical of Ishgardian fashion- and sporting wavy black hair with similar bangs on his forehead, all parties with a neutral expression on their face. “There’s my lord as a lad with his parents. I remember when this portrait was taken, too. He couldn’t sit still, heehee.” Angelbert fondly reminisced of the time when this would have been painted.

“He’s adorable here! Look at him”, Dia marveled at the painting, “What’s this doing here with the rest of this collection?” Before Angelbert could theorize, he heard the sound of a key attempting to unlock the front door. “Ah, there’s Lord Aymeric now! Give me just a moment.” He stood up and quickly darted towards the front door, ready to greet him as was custom.

She kept searching through the rest of the collection, running into a flower vase, an abstract dining room, and an elezen woman holding a cat before she noticed the sound of his footsteps moving towards the parlor. “Ah, there you are!” she greeted cheerfully and attempted to stand up to meet him.

“Don’t you dare get up”, Aymeric ordered calmly, moving quickly towards the settee. She slumped back into her seated position and said, “Fine, then I shall simply sit here and waste away.” He kissed the top of her head from behind her. “‘Tis good to know you’re not being dramatic.”

She feigned a gasp. “Dramatic? Me? I’ve never been so insulted in my life…minus all those times I’ve been horribly insulted”, she teased. Aymeric laughed at her silliness.

“Now, if you have not been waited on hand and foot, I shall have a word.”

“Oh, don’t blame Angelbert. You’ll need more staff for that level of service.” Dia remembered the first time she visited Aymeric for dinner. The steward mentioned that House Borel employed the fewest staff members of any house of Ishgard, the amount being countable on one hand.

Aymeric pondered the suggestion. “You have a point.”

Dia’s eyes widened. “Well, hold on, I don’t actually want to be waited on hand and foot.”

“Neither do I, but Angelbert could certainly use the help. He’s not as young as he used to be.”

“He was young?” Dia joked. Aymeric gave a cautious laugh.

“Careful, Mistress. You’ll find yourself in a similar position one day”, Angelbert remarked as he carried tea and a new health potion. He placed the teacup and potion bottle on the table before Dia continued to joke, “I’m sorry, I refuse to believe you didn’t simply appear in the world anything less than fifty summers old.”

“Well, at least you’re generous with the age, Mistress Sito. Now, have you told Lord Aymeric what you had done before he came home?” he asked before promptly turning away to return to business.

“What did you do?” Aymeric asked Dia concernedly, “And does it have anything to do with all these portraits lying about?”

“Nothing bad, don’t worry. And yes, it does. I came up with an idea.” She pointed to the blank spot that kicked off the process. “That spot has been an immense bother to me since I first noticed it this morning. To that end did I bid Angelbert to help me fill it. He told me you had a bunch of unhanged portraits in the basement, and I asked him to bring them up here and we were trying to decide what to go with. I wanted to see which you would like.” She grabbed the family portrait and held it up so he could see it.

“Now I’m a big fan of this one. I’m not sure why it’s not up there now, but I’m sure there’s a reason, and if you don’t want it up there, you don’t need to put it up there…but you look adorable here, my love! At least consider it.” She set it back to it’s original spot and grabbed the landscape and explained, “This one was in the ‘maybe’ pile. It’s pretty, but it might also bring back some unwanted emotions about pre-Calamity times, so I understand if you don’t.” She set the landscape aside and grabbed the flower vase. “Now at first, I saw the flower vase and thought it was kind of boring, but now that I look at it again, it’s growing on me.”

Aymeric blinked and asked, “You were rather bored, weren’t you, dear?”

“Insanely so. Point is, I think we should fill that blank piece of wall with something, and there are some options here to do so. I know that you’re a bit too busy to think about stuff like decorations regularly, but your opinion matters to me, and I want to know what you think.”

“I would prefer we didn’t fill it at all…at least, not yet.” Dia raised an eyebrow in confusion to that statement. “What? Why?” Aymeric walked towards the empty wall space and stared at it.

“That family photo you adore so much was the original portrait that filled this gap.” Aymeric let out a sharp breath through his nose. “I took it down after the new government was formed.”

Dia carefully stood up, and slowly stepped towards him. “But why?” she whispered.

He hesitated to answer, but finally explained after a moment, “‘Tis silly, but…it transformed itself into a reminder. It reminded me that I was once an object of gossip and scorn, that generally, I was rather disliked by many of the other houses due to those origins of mine. In a way, it mocked me. I couldn’t be burdened with those memories as someone who needs to lead such people into a new age. Yet, that portrait served as something that would yank me back into the old and antiquated, into a position that I care not to relive. As such, it served no purpose sitting there, and so, I had it taken down.”

Dia frowned. She didn’t want to bring back bad memories with that. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for, my dear. I never told you this, and simply hoped you wouldn’t notice. It worked for a while.”

“It did. Well, if that’s the case, why do you not want to fill the spot?”

Aymeric brought his gaze to her and responded with a raised corner of his lip, “In truth, I would like a new family portrait to hang here…one of you and I.”

Dia’s mouth went agape and after taking a moment to process what he told her, she let out a breathed laugh of delight and confusion. “Isn’t that more for married couples, people with their own children?”

“Is there anything traditional about the two of us, about what we’re doing here? I’m a bastard leading a country that detests bastards so, unofficially courting an outsider as she unofficially lives in my family manor. But a few years ago, such thoughts would be unthinkable. Yet here we are, living these thoughts as truth, and rather happily, if I may say so.”

Aymeric stepped towards her and gently gripped her hands. “You are my family, whether that is seen in the eyes of Halone and Ishgard or not, and if you would entertain the idea, I would like to commemorate that soon. You need but say the word, and I shall find the time and artist.”

Dia didn’t know quite what to say. There was no other thought in her head, no conflicting emotions to tell her it was a lie, not when he looked to her with such sincerity. Strangely lucid, yet hazy, lost when she was so clearly found, the only thing she felt was adoration. Her ardor for the man seemed boundless, ever growing, and in this moment, it swelled gloriously.

Not that she was ever capable of vocalizing such emotions.

She kissed his cheek, then brought her forehead to his and asked softly and half-jokingly, “Do I get to choose the outfits?”

“You will have full control over anything you’d like, my love.” She liked the sound of that, so much so, that she met her lips with his, and they enjoyed their warm embrace for all it was worth. Like coming in from a cold winter’s night, their company was the hearth they sat near for warmth. The fire easily burned brighter. This was the most stimulating activity Dia’s experienced since she sustained her injury, and Halone knew Aymeric dealt with the House of Lords far too much to not feel the least bit greedy at her touch. He pulled in her closer, and she happily obliged.

Her wounds did not, however.

She yelped in pain and backed away.

“Are you all right?!”

“Give me a moment, I’ll be fine!” she strained through gritted teeth. Dia started preparing healing spells for herself while he quickly darted for the coffee table to grab the health potion Angelbert prepared and returned to her side with it. Slowly, the tension she exuded began to melt as the pain was being relieved gradually. She passed the worst of it, and gulped down the potion as required.

Godsdammit, she thought.

“I’ll just sit down then”, she announced meekly.

“A good idea”, he affirmed as he took her shoulders to stabilize her and make sure it wouldn’t reopen as she walked.

“Was this how you felt after our experience with the True Brothers of the Faith?” he asked her as he helped seat her.

“Ha! Not even close. You’ll need to feel completely baffled that someone could just stand up and fight off four people hours after being stabbed on top of abject fear for my life.”

Aymeric shook his head. “Well, I, for my part, will attempt to avoid doing anything so reckless again. I realize that danger tends to follow you regardless of what you do, but it still hurts to see you so.”

Dia folded her arms and sarcastically responded, “Hm, and I’m just so thrilled about it.”

“Must you be sarcastic about this?”

“Sorry, it’s the pain talking.”

He stayed silent. She nudged herself closer to him and rested her head on his pauldron. “You sure that this is what you want as your family? A snarky witch who teases you constantly?”

He removed his pauldrons and pulled her in with one arm so she could rest on him easily.

“Without a doubt in my mind.”

[adverb-slut]

Let’s Film An Adult Video! (Fanfiction)

Aha, here is another story from me.  This is super dumb and lighthearted an features a lot of Simeon, which is yay, I think.  Anyway, again, this is a silly, cringy thing that I was bored and wrote.  Also, it is on AO3.  Sorry for posting so much, I promise I’ll tone it down soon if that bothers anyone! >.<

Title:

Let’s Film An Adult Video!

Summary:

When Simeon believes he's asked by Asmo to film an adult video, MC decides to help him, only to find out that sex is not the only thing on the Avatar of Lust's mind.

Genre:

Slice of Life/Humor

Rating:

T

Word Count:

2012

Additional Note:

All the dialogue between the MC and Simeon that are in italics means that it’s not verbally expressed, but is rather mouthed between you.  And yes, you can understand each other because you’ve magically developed the talent of impeccable lip-reading.

-

You yawn slightly as you exit your Introduction to the History of Demonology 1001 classroom and shift the straps of your backpack.  You groan at the weight of all the homework your obnoxious teacher assigned to you for the day. 

Your eyes feeling heavy—you had stayed up with Levi all night yesterday playing one of his newly-released games—you stumble forward, nearly tripping on the velvet hallway runner that lines R.A.D’s tiled corridor.

You manage to regain your footing, but again, your ungraceful stroll is impeded by something else—that something being a tall, brown-skinned angel, who leans against the wall with furrowed brows.

You brighten instantly.  “Hey, Simeon.” You notice the frown on his face.  “Is something wrong?”

Simeon shakes his head.  “I have to admit, yes, but it’s nothing for you to worry about, MC.”

You cock your head.  “Are you sure? I’d like to help.”

“Well,” Simeon replies, smiling at your earnestness.  “I don’t know if you can help.  In fact, I’m the one who got myself into this mess, so I suppose I’m the only one who can get myself out.”

You have to wonder what kind of conundrum a pious creature like Simeon could have gotten himself into, so you say, “Just tell me what happened; maybe I can offer some insight.”

He nods.  “Okay, then.  I guess there’s no harm in telling you.”  He sits down, leaning his back against a row of lockers, and motions for you to do the same.  “Ah, see. You know, up in the Celestial Realm, we don’t use D.D.Ds. We have our own type of communication devices, sure, but we’ve never really had the need to use anything as complicated as what’s used in the Devildom.”

“Yeah, I remember Solomon telling me that you and Luke were super intrigued when Diavolo gave you guys your D.D.Ds,” you reminisce, as you pull out your own device.

“Yes, they’re really quite complex.  We had trouble getting used to them at first.”  Simeon laughs cheerfully. “I especially am fond of sending stickers and such, although I have trouble typing actual messages, though.”  He pauses. “Anyway, I wanted to get better at navigating my D.D.D, so I enlisted the help of Levi earlier this week since he’s so good with technology.”

You stop him there.  “Impossible—Levi’s favorite game just got a new installment on Sunday, so he’s been playing it all week.  He’s been at it pretty much 24/7. Actually, I helped him yesterday.”

“Yes, the fact that Levi is busy this week made it so that despite our arrangement, I couldn’t rely on him.”  The angel shook his head sadly. “However, Levi did recommend that I talk to Asmodeus if I wanted help with my D.D.D considering Asmo spends a lot of time on it browsing and posting on Devilgram and DevilTube.”

You nod.  “Makes sense.”

Simeon goes on, “The thing is, Asmodeus said that if he taught me the ins-and-outs of my D.D.D, he wanted something in return; I said that that was alright.”  He looks down, and you can’t help but notice the slight blush on his face as he continues, “Today he let me know what he wants me to do.” He takes a deep breath.  “He wants me to film a video in his bedroom … a video featuring him and his … lady friends .  He said he’d do it himself, but he’d be pretty … occupied during the video.  He also said he’d have a script and everything.”

“What?”   You can feel your eyes bulge out of your head, making the connection between the Avatar of Lust and … scripted bedroom videos.  “He wants you to film a porno with him starring in it?!”

Simeon nods furiously.  “You realize it too, don’t you, MC?  I’m sure that’s what he wants, right?”

“Right.  He really must be a demon if he wants an angel to film him having sex …”  You sigh. “Maybe tell him you don’t want to do it?”

He shakes his head.   “No, I can’t do that—I can’t break a promise I made to him.”  He sighs. “I’m just going to have to buckle down and do what he asks.”

You feel as if you should’ve known that as an angel, he wouldn’t go back on his word.  You decide to alleviate him, considering he looked miserable. “If you want, I’ll help you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, MC!” Simeon gasps.  “You’re not the one who promised this to Asmo!”

“I’m doing it,” you affirm.  “I told you I’d try to help, so I’m gonna.  With me there, we can take turns controlling the video camera, so you don’t have to see as much … stuff.”

The angel seemed to sense that there was no way that you were budging from your stance, so he groans.  “I guess there’s no stopping you, then. Let’s go to Asmo’s room and film an adult video!”

“Huh,” you comment, peering through the threshold to Asmodeus’ open bedroom.  “He’s not here.”

“Yes, he said we could come in beforehand to get all the equipment set up before he brings in his female … companions.”  Simeon blushes at the last two words. “Although, I’m not sure we’re going to need all that much recording stuff.” He pulls out his D.D.D.  “I mean, Asmo showed me how to work the video camera on this so I think we can use that to film.”

You nod.  “That sounds fine.  The video quality might not be that great, but since we don’t have anything else, I guess we can just use that.”

Before you can see anything else, you notice that Simeon has begun to wander through Asmodeus’ room.  He turns to you, clutching a small, pink, egg-shaped object. His eyes widen in suspicion. “What do you think this is, MC?  Some kind of weird sex toy?  Do you think they’ll use it in the video?  Because if so, I’d like to film that part, to see what hole it goes up in.”

It’s your turn to blush.  “I—I believe that’s called a BeautyBlender, Simeon.  It’s a sponge for makeup.”

“Ah, I see.”  He places it back on Asmo’s vanity and notices that a pale powder has rubbed off the beauty sponge and onto his fingers.  He looks curiously at you.

“Foundation,” you explain. “You can wipe it off.”

He nods and reaches toward what looks like a slick metal hand sanitizer dispenser placed on the vanity.  But, before he can press the actuator down, Asmodeus prances into his room.

“Hello, everyone!” Asmo sings.  “Oh, lovely! MC, you’re here, too!  I’ll do you after I’m done with these two.” 

He gestures at the two female demons that had followed him into the room; both are surprisingly, unconventionally beautiful, with strikingly attractive features that didn’t seem to follow any beauty standards.  He saunters toward his bed, pausing when he notices Simeon’s hand poised on the ‘hand sanitizer dispenser.’ “Ooooh, are we interrupting something?” He glances at you and then Simeon, grinning. “If we were, don’t mind us, and do go on!  I’ll join in if I notice a lull!”

You cock your head.  “… What?”

Asmodeus shrugged.  “Well, I can only assume what was about to go on, considering Simeon’s hand is poised on my lube dispenser.”

Simeon whips his hand away from the metal canister, his face bright red.  “I—I thought it was hand sanitizer!”

“No, no, that’s lube—good quality stuff, too!”  Asmo beckons toward the two other demons, and they walk further into the room.  “Lailah, Feota, come, sit on the bed, darlings.”

As the two girls quietly make their way to the bed, Simeon mouths to you from across the room (you magically have insanely good lip-reading skills and can understand him perfectly), “Holy Father, MC, he has two ‘lady friends!’  We’re gonna be filming a threesome!   How scandalous!” 

You nod furiously and point to Asmodeus, who had sauntered over to his closet and is now returning with a massive pink box that is covered with glitter.  He plops it down on his bed next to Lailah and Feota.

“I got my bag of tricks!” Asmo explains, pointing to the box. He taps his fingers gleefully.  “This is going to be so much fun!”

“Bag of tricks?” you mouth to Simeon.  You have a sneaking suspicion that in regards to the genre of this video, that could only mean one thing.

He turns to the both of you, saying, “I just need to grab a few more things for the video, so if you guys could just hold off on the filming for a few minutes, that would be fabulous.” You and Simeon watch as Asmodeus turns toward his vanity, opens the drawer, and pulls out a curling iron, which confuses you because … where did a curling iron fit into sex?

“Vibrator!” Simeon mouths, gesturing toward it, his eyebrows raising.

“Curling iron!” you mouth back to him.

Asmo yanks out an eyelash curler and puts it on the vanity.

“Nipple clamps!”

“Eyelash curler!”

Next, the fifthborn demon pulls out an assortment of pointy makeup brushes.  As you notice the number of beauty supplies accumulating on his vanity, you begin to reconsider the exact nature of the video you and Simeon are to film …

“Butt plugs!”

“Literally brushes, Simeon!”  You begin to wonder exactly how dirty the angel’s mind is.

Suddenly, Asmodeus produces a pair of fluffy red handcuffs from his drawer, before cheerfully blushing and shoving them back inside.  “Whoopsie! Heehee, those aren’t for right now!” He walks back over to his bed, grabs the pink box, and sets it onto the vanity.  

He turns toward you.  “MC, be a doll and pull that ball chair up over here toward my vanity.  I only have one seat here and both Lailah and Feota should be in front of the mirror.”

“So whoever’s not participating in the sexy times at the moment can watch!” Simeon, his eyes bugging out of his head, mouths to you, again.  

You facepalm in exasperation and not even bothering to respond to his previous statement, you mouth, “I’m not sure we’re filming porn, Simeon.”

The angel looks at you in shock.  “How can you be so sure?”

Just then, Asmo opens his ‘box of tricks,’ hauling out dozens of tubes of liquid lipstick and eyeliner, at least ninety-three different eyeshadow palettes, and several different small cases of foundation in every skin tone, as well as various other products.

You raise an eyebrow at Simeon.  “Because everything he’s gotten ready so far is a bunch of makeup products.”

“Maybe he wants to look good for the shoot!” Simeon counters.

You shake your head.  “I don’t think so.”

Finally noticing your and Simeon’s silent exchange, Asmodeus turns to you and nods.  “Ohh, I bet you guys are wondering about the script.” Before you can correct him on the fact that that is not what you two were pondering, Asmo pulls out a sheet of paper from his vanity drawer and hands it to you. “The script is just something I wrote so that you guys know which angles to film me and the girls from so that we look our best and the audience gets the most out of the video since you guys are just amateur videographers.”

Simeon meanders to your side and reads aloud from the sheet.  “‘For the most part, focus on either Lailah or Feota’s face—whoever’s makeup I’m doing at the moment.  Normally I’d tell you to put the camera mostly on me, since really, why look at anything else?—but because this is a makeup tutorial and these two are my models, I guess it’s smarter to focus on them.’”  Simeon raises an eyebrow and looks at Asmodeus.  “ … Wait, so we’re really just making a makeup tutorial video?”

The Avatar of Lust nods enthusiastically.  “Yes! For my wildly popular DevilTube channel!” He pauses.  “What else would we be filming?”

You and Simeon exchange a look and sigh.

THE END

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 155 spoilers n thoughts below cut etc u know the drill

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bug when u lift a rock

i love when he has lil soft smileys like this theyre his best look heehee

THIS IS WHAT MY BRAIN WAS MELTING OVER EARLIER TODAY BTW. IM GOING INSANE

THIS HAD ME SHIVERING . TREMBLING LIKE A WET CAT. "when someone really misses another person... they might meet again here." GHH . HGGGGG AAAAAHHH

ok sorry uh. i dont have much insight this time around im just going insane over it,,, a place that represents happy memories and promises to stay together and yet suho has returned here, unable to hold onto both without the ache of loss bc his parents r gone AAAGGHHHG AA

how cruel how cruel how cruel,,, cruel reminders of what he can never return to,,, WHICH MAKES HIM SAYING "i already met my family." SOOO HEARTACHE TO ME

ok sorry im jumping ahead a bit but yeah suho feeling at home as a frontera and moving forward, beyond the memories and the past,,, im gonna THROW UP what the FUCK

ok bouncing back to some sillies this ep LOL

A MAN ON A FUCKING MISSION 😭 LLOYD U MONSTER HAHAA javier being happy that lloyds back to his motivated self tho makes me so happy WEEHEEHEE

ALSO JAVIER IMMEDIATELY BECOMING SOCMED FAMOUS IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHA honestly the ppl who r taking pics. so real. me too. i can only imagine how insanely pretty javier would b if he was in our world,,, his protagonist-level good looks are dimensional constants .

i am a little bit confused as to why javier said this considering he was so ready to bring lloyd back at all costs when they first got here? mmm maybe his worries were quelled when they were taking the mountain trail to the tower? im not quite sure,,, maybe i missed smth

ALSO HIS FRIEND OMGGG

IM SO GLAD WE GOT TO SEE HIM AGAIN hes working construction now too!!! wahoo!!! hes still got that face tho lol

OH OH AND THE COP CHASE RIGHT

javier folding the clothes is so silly hes such a good lil guy 😭 vs lloyd just leaving them scattered LMAOOO it was nice of them to leave a note n the gold for the cop guys tho!!

i also liked that the cops kept fucking posing thru out the whole ep HAHAHA ive never seen jjba but its like jjba level posing theyre so silly

AND FINALLY YAA THEY GOT ALL THE MATERIALS SECURED

i rlly liked javiers lil "!!" at the bottom here HEHEHE

so so happy they got the stuff!!!! restoration of fate can SUCK AN EGG THEYRE GONNA BEAT IT!!!! hopefully

afaik theres no telling what the jewel of truth is gonna actually say abt fighting fate,,, or whether or not the jewel will give the answer that easily,,, hopefully it goes smoothly lloyd deserves a break atp 😭😭😭

also how r they gonna put the thing together havent they been flying over the ocean w draggy recently . werent the mermaids tryna figure out who was commanding draggy so that they could sic em for opening that portal to hell 😭 WILL THAT B A PROBLEM? (dont actually answer that)

man oh man milestone achieved but still so much to do for these guys,,,, i wanna put them in a box and contain them and let them have a break they deserve it

ok thats it for now,,, if i start brainrotting again ill prolly post abt it here or on twitter,,, see yall next week!!!!

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham” S4E21

Screw that ending.  In its entirety.

AN:  I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post (even though about 20% of this post is horrified screaming)

“Dig me up!”  *starts singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham!*

DIG ME UP/ BEFORE YOU GO-GO/DON’T LEAVE ME LAYING THERE LIKE A HOBO

Pretty much the latter half of Gotham 4B is dedicated to dragging the ever loving crap out of Jerome

*cups hands around mouth*  JIM AIN’T DEAD!

Lucius!

“Last time we [the other officers] followed you [Harvey], the Pyg slaughtered us.”  I haven’t reached Professor Pyg yet in my reactions but C’MON!

Thank you, Harper!

“...he’s outside and he’s not alone.”  Oooooohhhhh...

THAT OUTFIT THOUGH!

“JEREMIAH!  JEREMIAH!”  Dude even has a back-up choir!

I also really like the military-style outfit that the other followers have on

This natural lighting on Bullock and the other officers looks pretty nice, I gotta say

Can we talk about this wide shot of Bullock and the other officers vs. Jeremiah and his followers?  ‘Cause that is a thing of beauty.

“Don’t compare me to that short-sighted psychopath.”  #DraggingJeromeValeska2k18

For some reason, Jeremiah sounds like a mix between Hannibal Lector [Anthony Hopkins] and Andrew Scott’s Jim Moriarty (except if he were American)

*Jeremiah pulls out another dead man’s switch*  Oh crap...

*The clock tower goes down*  OHHHHHH!

Here’s my question:  where did Jeremiah get his outfits?

“Looks aren’t everything,” my ass...

What the crap did they [Penguin and Butch] do to Jongleur?

“If it isn't little Penguin. Oh, and Butch's corpse.“  Pfftt....

“The man responsible for the recent fireworks is Jeremiah Valeska.  Twin brother of our old associate.“  HOW DO YOU [Oswald] KNOW?!?

“[Tabitha] Don’t look at me [Barbara] like that.”  Pfftt...

Bruce!

“I'm [Harvey] so sick of that freaking family [the Valeskas]...“  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

“[Bruce] Be with Alfred.  Be safe.  It's what Jim would want.“  Yes, please!

“Alfred, where have you been?”  “No, not Alfred.”  Shit.

When did Jeremiah take the time to dye his hair in between this episode and the last one?

Ecco probably did it.  We know she did.

“But I meant what I [Jeremiah] said.  You're my best friend, and today I'm gonna prove it to you [Bruce].“  Screw this noise!

Wait, you can turn off the dead man’s switch?

“Tell the police and I'll know. Just like I [Jeremiah] know that's where you [Bruce] are right now.“  Wait, how does he know?  Is there a spy inside the precinct?

HERCULES MULLIGAN

*cups hands around mouth*  I TOLD Y’ALL HE [Jim] AIN’T DEAD!

Lee!

*Jim rips out the IV in his arm*  Why do people keep doing that in Hollywood stuff?  Seriously.

That is the most graceful collapse back onto the bed that I’ve ever seen, Jim.

“I'm [Selina] gonna be here whenever you [Bruce] need me.”  Aaaawww....

“He [Jeremiah] wants something out of me [Bruce].”  “Like what, to be your best friend?“  Actually, yes... for some reason...

I don’t like thisss... not one bittt....

*Bruce is shown footage of Alfred getting beat up*  AAAAAAHHHHH!!!

“If this is what you [Lee] want, I will do it.  For you.”  Oh my gosh, Ed is so unbelievably stupid!

“Do it for us.”  They better not, they better not-

*Lee and Ed kiss*  Eeuughh!

Whoa...

Is that blood... on the mirror above the captain’s office?

Please tell me it’s silly string.

AN:  It’s spray paint.

“The bombs are connected by a nervous system. The core relay is the brain. We find that, we destroy that-”   “We can stop the bombs from going off.”  Where’s the core relay?

That transition overhead shot of Gotham is so obviously New York City.

OOOHHHH THAT’S A NICE SHOT....

“I envy you.”  You do not.  Shut the hell up.

“Call our friend.  Tell him to kill the butler.  He's no longer necessary.“  You better not!

“And is that my dear Jongleur with my core relay in his hand and a grenade taped to his mouth?”  Hooooooo....

Oh my gosh, that hat take-off though!

This is gonna go south real fast.

Look at Jeremiah sitting in the chair all proper and dandy!

“I see.  I play the villain, you get away scot-free and rich.  I get you the money, you give me back my core relay.“  Oh my god, Oswald, you dead.

*Jeremiah rolls his eyes whenever Barbara speaks*  HAHAHAHA!

“I'm nothing if not sane.  And reasonable.  Two things my brother never valued.  Which is why I'll be successful where he failed.  Well, that and being vastly more intelligent.“  *hisses in panic*

#DraggingJeromeValeska2k18

“We're not just gonna hand this thing over and let him destroy Gotham, are we?”   “Of course not.  Once we get the money, we kill Jeremiah and his people, give the core relay to the police, split the $50 million, and are hailed as the heroes of Gotham!”  WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS OUT LOUD?!?  WHY?!?

EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM IS DEAD

*Jeremiah pulls out a bazooka*  OOHHHHH

“Are you [Jeremiah] OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?”  Yes.

“What's insane about having a backup plan?  Something Jongleur never knew about.“  True!

Oh my gosh, Jeremiah running up the stairs!  Speedy Gonzalez!

“I imagine you're wondering, why is Jeremiah doing this?“  I bet you’re wondering I brought you here today...

“My brother once said, "All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.“  Oh my God...

*screams when Alfred is shown being tortured*

Oh my God...

Craaaaap!

*gasps when Alfred gets doused in laughing gas*

*weakly*  Noo....

“I'm only helping you because I'm with Lee now.”  “Fine.  Whatever.” Hahaha!

“Ed, Jeremiah Valeska is threatening to destroy half the city.  You really think I care if you've deluded yourself into thinking you and Lee are a couple?“  YES!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU JIM!  YESSSS!!

“She's with me in every way.”  Punch him.  Now.

“And you, Jim, are ten times the killer that I ever was.”  Ed, shut the heck up.

*slaps desk with every other word*  Can we please get back to the discussion at hand please thank you!

Is that Gotham?

“Jeremiah lived his entire life in a maze.  Now he's trying to remake the city into the place he feels most safe.“  Man...

“It’s [the solution to the maze] actually rather elegant.”  Shoot, Jeremiah’s more like the Riddler than the actual Riddler in this show!

Punch him [Ed].  Now!

*Jim knocks out Ed with one punch*  YESSSSSS!  THANK YOU!

*claps with each word*  Jim Gordon, MVP.

“Get the core relay, he [Oswald] says!  Have the upper hand, he says!“  Heehee!

“That means we can disrupt them by disarming the first bomb in the sequence.  It's like removing one light from a string of Christmas lights.“  So where’s the first one?

*Jim and Harvey reunite with a hug*  YAY!

You’d think Jeremiah would keep his plans more well hidden...

*Scarecrow sneaks up behind Selina*  OOOOOOHHHHHHH

IS THAT A SCYTHE?!?!?

Scarecrow’s literally just standing there, literally not moving, just holding his scythe.  It’s for the aesthetic.

*Scarecrow swings his scythe at Selina*  WHOA!

Bruce!  Get out of there!

AAAAAAHHHHHH I’M NOT LIKING THIS EPISODE AT ALL!

Fear toxin!  It’s fear toxin!  Bruce, you’re hallucinating this!

*screams when Fake Alfred gives himself a Glasgow smile*

I’m not likin’ this episode!

*gasps when Fake Alfred goes after Bruce*

I’m actually shaking...

No, no, Bruce, this is fake!

*Selina finds a hostage in a closet*  That has to be the real Alfred!

Who’s Bruce fighting then?

*screams when Fake Alfred gets shot and falls over the balcony*

“Alfred...”  Hug.  Please.  Hug.

[The generator bomb] Looks like a building...

Why and how did Jeremiah dye his hair?  I like it though.

Vertigo shot....

“This is a message to the followers of Jeremiah Valeska.  Jeremiah claims to have killed me [Jim].  Well, bad news, I'm alive.“  Haha!

“So, just know you're worshipping a fraud. A pale imitation of Jerome.“  Whoooo...

Go Jim!

You [Harvey] better not be doing “Eeny Meeny Miny Moe” on a bomb...

Aaaand he did.

*jumps when Jeremiah silences the cultists*

[Jeremiah smiles]  *softly*  Oh my God that’s awesome... oh my God...

*Jeremiah purges the cultists*  OOOHHHHHH

Here’s my question:  where’s Ecco?

“Perhaps the outcome was not what we had hoped, - but it was worth the risk.“  Oswald, shut up.  Let everybody enjoy their booze.

*Butch decides not to join Oswald*  Thank you!

Is that an old church?

“Think think think think think think...”  Haha!

“Who are you?  What do you want?”  “I [Ra’s]had a vision.  Of Gotham in flames.”  *gasps*

OOHHHH MY GODDD.... OH my God, I was right!

I freaking called it [Jeremiah and Ra’s meeting]!  I freaking called it!  Jeremiah and Ra’s are gonna cause No Man’s Land...

“Because, my boy-”  Mah boy... not a good sign!  Not a good thing!

“-this is about Bruce Wayne.”  Of course it is!  It’s always about Bruce!

Drink all the booze!

It’d be cool if we see Bludhaven next season.

Oh I like that lighting... it’s so good!  Jim in yellow and Lee in blue...

“But whatever happens after I walk out that door, I care about you.  And I always will.“  Aawww...

Oh man, this is sad.  Man...

Freaking Ed... get the heck out!

Get frozen in ice again!

*The precinct applauds Harvey*  Yaaayy!  Yay, recognition for Harvey!  This is stuff I like this show!  Yaaay!

Happy ending?  In a “Gotham” episode?  It’s probably less likely than I think!

[Bruce and Alfred] Hug!  Please!  Hug!

*Alfred leaves*  Dang it.

“Thank you again.  I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there.”  Aaawww...

Oh oh oh are they are they-

*Bruce and Selina kiss*  OOOHHHHHH!!!  Yes!

“Jeremiah said all it takes is one bad day to drive a person insane. I wonder if my parents dying made me [Bruce] a little insane.“  Mmmm....

*gasps when Jeremiah strolls in*

*Jeremiah shoots Selina*  OOOHHHHHHHH!! NO! NOOOO!!!

*Alfred tackles Jeremiah to the ground and beats the crap out of him*  YES YES YES YES THANK YOU!

NOOOO!!  No, no, she’s alive!

*Credits start playing*  Screw this entire show.  I’m done.

[spookysummersmores]

Peppermint Winter

Summary: Just some snow day shenanigans for all Pines family fluff needs. ^-^

Rating: K

Word count: 2,159 (o m g)

Author's note: Hello, everyone! So...I drew a Pines family bonding pic a few weeks before Christmas, and I decided to write a fic involving the Pines family enjoying winter break together! Meant to have this up before Christmas, but...oh well! Also, I realize that Stan and Ford would most likely have been out at sea during Christmas of 2012, so this is just noncanon silliness...heehee..xD

This is the first legitimate fanfic I've written in literal years, so I certainly hope that it's alright, and I also hope you enjoy! ^-^

"Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford, come on!"

Stan and Ford laughed. "Alright, alright, we're on our way!" Ford called out. He ran out after the kids, trying to pull his six-fingered gloves on as he went. "Not so fast, now!"

"You goofball kids're gonna kill us," Stan teased as he locked the house up. "Just leave us old men in the dust; don't mind us!"

Dipper and Mabel were already about thirty feet ahead of their two great-uncles, eager to jump right into the winter wonderland all around them. It was the Saturday before Christmas, and a huge snowstorm had hit Gravity Falls the night before, blanketing it in soft, pure-white snow. Being native to California, the kid twins hadn't really seen much snow, and their winter-in-summer experience earlier that year was too packed with paranormal insanity for it to be much of a carefree snow day.

The second the twins were far enough from the Shack, Mabel dropped the sled she'd been dragging with her and let herself fall backwards into a pile of fluff. "Ohhhhh my gosh,  this is amazing!" she cried happily. "It's like swimming in an ocean made of clouds!"

Dipper sat down on a fallen tree beside her. "I know, right?! Hard to believe frozen rain could make something so...well, for lack of a better word, cool." He looked down at Mabel and snickered at what he saw. She'd practically been swallowed by the snowbank she'd fallen into, and it was quite a comical sight. "Having fun there? Trying to become a human marshmallow?" he snarked lightheartedly.

"You know it!" Mabel cheered. Then, she started giggling. "Maybe you should...chill out and check it out for yourself!"

"Wait, what're you- AAH!" Dipper barely had time to react before Mabel grabbed his arms and dragged him into the massive snowbank with her. Rather than get angry with her, though, he just started laughing, as did she.

Stan and Ford finally caught up with the kids - just in time to see Dipper threatening to stuff snow down Mabel's coat. They couldn't help but start laughing themselves. "What are you knuckleheads doin'?" Stan asked.

"Getting even!" Dipper said with a grin, though he had already dropped the handful of snow he had.

"Never!" Mabel cried from behind her sled shield.

Ford tried his best to keep his composure. "Didn't take long for you two to get used to the cold, huh?" he said, laughing all the while. He then knelt down beside them. "So...what do you think of this? Isn't it remarkable?"

"Honestly? Christmas movies don't do it justice," Dipper quickly replied.

"Right? California, you need to up your game," Mabel agreed. "This is what a real winter looks like!"

Stan chuckled. "Jeez, Sixer, maybe this was a mistake. I don't think the kids care for it!" he joked. He straightened up, hands on his hips. "So...we finally caught up with ya speedin' bullets. Whaddya think we should do now?"

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other and grinned, as if each knew exactly what the other was thinking. When they turned back around to face the grunkles, Dipper said, "I think you're gonna have to catch us again.'

"What?" replied the Stan twins in confusion.

In an instant, the little twins boarded Mabel's toboggan and beckoned for their great-uncles to board the other. The challenge had been set. It was up to Stanley and Stanford Pines to accept their mission.

"You've gotta be kiddin' me..." Stan said, trying to act mad, but laughing anyway. "Alright. If it's a race they want, it's gonna be a race the're never gonna forget!" He quickly hopped onto the front of the sled and motioned for Ford to get behind him. "Hop on, brother."

"Ohhh, no. Last time I ever let you lead the way, we both spent half of President's Day weekend cleaning up Mrs. Sebastianelli's front lawn," Ford responded, fondly remembering that weekend, as monotonous as that had been.

"Aw, c'mon! We were eleven then! And we did 'er a favor, in my opinion. How many garden gnomes does one lady need?" Stan said, trying to justify his terrible steering. "We can both drive now. What's the worst that could happen?"

Ford just shook his head and tried to keep from laughing out loud as he boarded the sled. "I have a feeling I'm going to live to regret this..."

"Alright, grunkles!" Mabel cheered. She and Dipper braced themselves. "On the count of three!"

The whole family joined in. "One...two...three!"

Trees and homes raced by at rocket speed. Soon, Dipper and Mabel's toboggan came to a stop, and they were able to catch their breath for just a moment.

"Holy...cheese balls..." was the only thing Mabel could bring herself to say.

"I don't know about you...but I...am so doing that again," Dipper said, and the twins highfived each other. Then, Dipper realized something. "Um...where are-"

There was a commotion at the bottom of the next hill. Then came the strangest sounding crash Dipper and Mabel had ever heard.

Quickly, they left the sled behind and ran down after Stan and Ford. When they spotted the grunkles, they were buried in snow beneath a massive pine tree.

"Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford! Are you guys okay?" Mabel said, a little worried.

"Don't worry, pumpkin. Everything's-" More snow fell from the pine needles above...right onto Stan's face."Fine."

Ford didn't say anything at first. He was too busy spitting out pine needles. Then, the two brothers looked at each other and burst out laughing. The kids sighed with relief before joining in.

"That...was more fun than racing the rulers of Kartylon 7," Ford finally managed to say. "I say a rematch is in order! Only this time..." He shot Stan a face that screamed, 'I will never let this go as long as we both live'. "I am definitely driving."

The day was filled to the brim with fun, and yet it seemed to fly by in an instant. The Pines family spent hours racing each other and still found the time to build a family of snow-folk in their image - including a tiny snow-pig. It wasn't until the grunkles noticed the kids beginning to shiver that Ford remembered to check his watch.

"How on Earth is it this late already?" Ford remarked. "Alright, kids, come along...we'd better get you two home before you freeze."

"Aw, man...." said the twins in unison. As cold as they were, they hated for such fun to come to an end.

"C'mon, kiddos. No way're we lettin' you kids get pneumonia or somethin'," Stan said. "Besides, who says we can't have fun on th'way back home?"

That gave Ford an idea. As Stan picked Mabel up and mounted her on his shoulders, Ford whispered something to her, making sure to stay clear of Stan's bad ear so he couldn't catch onto their plan. Mabel giggled to herself, but kept it secret. With that, Ford took hold of the kids' sleds, and the little family made its way back home.

The clouds had begun to clear, and the beginning of a cotton-candy sunset was starting to tint the mounds of white glitter pale pink. All was serene for a short while as the family admired their surroundings. The only sound was the quiet crunching of the snow beneath their feet.

All of a sudden, a fit of giggling broke the silence. "Oh, Grunkle Staaa-aaan..."

Stan glanced up. What he saw was Mabel with her tongue sticking out and a mischievous twinkle in her eye. She was dangling a little ball of glittering white fluff directly above his face, playfully threatening to drop it at any moment.

Stan had to chuckle at that. "If you drop that on me, I'm takin' ya up t'Mount Hood and leavin' ya there," he said, his threat not sounding the least bit serious.

Ford and Dipper both cracked up. "How did you even manage to make a snowball from all the way up there?" Dipper asked.

"My secret weapon!" Mabel announced proudly. She scooped mounds of snow off of nearby tree branches to demonstrate.

"Nuh-uh. Don't you dare! There will be heck t'pay!" Stan said.

Mabel feigned defeat. "Okay..."

The silence returned for a minute. Then...

Plop.

"Oh, that's it!"

Stan dropped Mabel down in the snow and immediately began working on a giant snowball as she tried to escape. He was hardly able to pick his ammo up below he received another blow to the head. When he spun around, there was Ford, grinning at him with childish glee, and Dipper wasn't too close behind.

"And that, dear brother, is what you get for ramming me into a tree."

"You...little..." Stan wiped the snow off the back of his head, dumbfounded. "Y'put 'em up to this, didn't ya?"

"What can I say?" Dipper shrugged. "Couldn't pass up the opportunity to get you back for a summer full of noogies." He, too, flashed Stan an impish grin.

It was then that the all-out war began.

The four of them chased each other all the way back up the hill to the Christmas-light-coated back porch of the Mystery Shack. Snowballs weren't the only thing that flew. Hats and earmuffs of various colors and sizes flew, too, as they were knocked off by the shots being fired. Excellent hits were had by all, but Dipper surprised everyone, for several snowballs he fired showed that he had potential to be quite the skilled marksman with more practice. By the time the Pines family reached the backyard, everyone was exhausted, and a silent truce was called, but Stan wasn't done with anybody just yet.

"Oh - look out! We're in a snowglobe and somebody's about to shake it!" he cried out, playfully tackling the kids to the ground. Ford attempted to sneak away, but Stan was having none of that. "Ohhh, no, don't think you're getting' out of this, Poindexter; you started this!" Stan quickly dragged him into the mess, and the whole family collapsed into a happy pile of giggles.

It wasn't long before everyone was inside, dressed in dry clothing, and seated down in front of the fireplace with blankets, pizza, and big mugs of hot chocolate.

"Y'think Soos'n'his grandma are gettin' in on this, too, up at his cousin's place?" Stan inquired. "Christmas, or whatever have ya, isn't the same if it isn't white."

"Oh, definitely. The northernmost part of the state is getting hammered," Ford replied with a chuckle.

Stan laughed, too, and was about to ask the kids what movie he should put in out in the living room...until he saw that both of them were beginning to fall asleep. "Aww, Ford...look at this..."

Dipper and Mabel quickly sat up, stretching a little bit. "I'm not sleepy," Mabel mumbled, holding Waddles closer to her.

"We never said you were, you silly goose," Ford teased gently, a warm smile on his face as he ruffled her hair.

"Thank you, guys..." Dipper suddenly said with a yawn.

"Whatever for?"

"For the awesome snow day," Mabel piped up quietly, drifting off to sleep as she spoke. "If today was any indication...this is gonna be the best Christmas ever..."

"Aw, sweetie..." Stan smiled. "Little early t'say that, isn't it? Christmas hasn't even started-"

"Stanley..." Ford put a finger to his lips and pointed at the kids. Both of them were already fast asleep.

"Ha! Jeez...that was fast," Stan laughed, only remembering to lower his voice halfway through the sentence. Rather than disturb the children, he and Ford simply pulled their blankets up over them (and Waddles as well, for Mabel had resorted to hugging him in her sleep as if he were a plushie) to keep them warm.

"You remember when we used to be like that?" Ford said.

"Yeah," Stan replied, laughing. "Y'know, Ma said that one time, on New Year's, she practically had to drag both of our butts into bed 'cause we were sacked in front of the TV waiting' for the ball t'drop."

Ford tried not to laugh too loudly. "Oh, God, I haven't thought about that in a long time...don't remember a thing about that night, and I wasn't even drunk." He paused for a moment. "Speaking of dragging kids to bed...do you think maybe we should take the kids up to-"

He happened to turn around just in time to see that Stan himself, with his arm around Mabel and Dipper, was beginning to drift off. He smiled to himself. "You know what? Never mind..." He reached over and turned off the lamp. "Goodnight, Stanley. Goodnight, kids," he whispered.

Stan was still awake enough to hear. "'Night, brother. Sweet dreams, kids."

Ford was the last to fall asleep. He pulled a blanket up over himself, wrapped his own arm around the kids, and once he was warm and content in the company of his family, he let the crackling of the dying fire lull him to sleep.