#he is probably now on the same level as cullen when it comes 2 how insane i am abt him.......

[pinayelf-archive]

me in june: yeah Miguel's my type and atsv looks like it'll be a cool movie

me now, gripping my miguel action figure trying to stop myself from writing another miguel dissertation: im fine

[therealvinelle]

Hi, I was reading a post here in Tumblr about how Edward has two gifts, he can hear thoughts and is super fast, so I wonder what is your opinion about this topic?.

Furthermore, what others power might the Volturi's leaders and guards might have?

Edward has one gift, and it’s telepathy. Being fast isn’t a gift.

Strength, speed and even senses is varied among vampires. Some, like Emmett, are on the extreme end, but that doesn’t make Emmett gifted, nor does it mean that the rest are at an equal level. The Cullens have clear variations between them.

Physique appears to play a dominant role in how these variations play out: Alice, who was malnourished and never made it past 4′10″, is the physically weakest of the coven, while Emmett at 6′5″ and a mountain of muscles is the strongest. This is made very clear during the baseball game:

“Emmett was hovering close to third (base), knowing that Alice didn’t have the muscle to outstrip Rosalie’s fielding." (Midnight Sun, chapter The Game)

There’s also the fact that it’s taken for granted that Emmett would be intimidating to other vampires, and he is dismayed when James is more worried about Jasper, who is lean.

I suspect this disparity exists simply because a large frame means more tissue to have blood in. Newborns, animal, and human-eating vampires all having a difference in terms of strength is proof that blood has the final say in a vampire’s prowess, so Emmett being able to contain more of it than Alice and therefore being stronger makes sense to me.

This isn’t the meta for me to get into that, but I don’t think vampires have muscles in the sense we do. Or rather, we can’t know that they do. Renesmée is proof that Edward retains his human DNA, or she would be a clone of Bella. Nahuel is proof that Joham retains a Y-chromosome. Does this mean that vampires have different cell types? Does a vampire’s stone-like skin still contain human DNA? One would think yes - except, if you rip a vampire apart, you get rubble. The parts are all solid. There’s also Carlisle theorizing that vampires digest blood by absorbing it through porous tissue, which makes me wonder why he dismissed his digestive system (my guess: vivisection fun times with Aro in Volterra. Carlisle couldn’t have done it on his own, and Aro is the only one mad and curious enough to be down for that). I’m getting off-topic - what I’m saying is, we don’t know how vampires work, meaning I can’t build this meta off of the assumption that they have muscles. I simply can’t know for sure that they do.

The important thing is that a vampire’s physique is a deciding factor in how strong they are.

There’s also Laurent’s warning about James, that he has “unparalleled senses”, meaning some vampires are better at sight, hearing, and smell than others. I can believe that, because we have canon examples of vampires being bad at tracking.

There’s Edward in Port Angeles, who couldn’t track Bella’s, his singer, scent to her location, and (I admit this one is conjecture but it’s so probable that I say it goes) Carlisle’s creator, who after taking care of the mob must have realized he’d bitten one of the humans, meaning a newborn would soon be loose in London. This is punishable by death by the Volturi. The fact that he didn’t return to finish Carlisle off means that he was unable to find him. I remind the audience that Carlisle was bleeding and suffering the effects by a venom intended to paralyze the victim. To put it this way, Carlisle wouldn’t have survived James, or anybody with a trace of tracking competence. By comparison, Carlisle was able to locate a dying Rosalie by the smell of her blood, even though there wouldn’t have been a trail for him to follow, as her body had not been moved.

When it comes to these disparities in strength and speed among the Volturi, I imagine Jane and Alec are the physically weakest members of the guard, and among the slowest. They’re prepubescent, meaning no muscle for them, and their height (a humble 4′8″ and 4′10″) implies very short legs. They’re simply not going to get as far as an adult would, not in the same number of steps. Renata at 5′0″ is another tiny vampire lady who likely isn’t very strong or fast.

That’s not to say I think these physically weaker members of the Volturi guard are necessarily useless in hand-to-hand combat, Alec at least is a boy stuck in a playful age, and the males around him are trained warriors. He’s probably picked up a few things over the years.

As for the others, Aro is described as frail-looking, which hints at him being quite thin. I don’t think he’s weak, if he couldn’t win a fight he wouldn’t be around, but I do think he’s probably below average in terms of strength. Caius I picture as a Harrison Ford type, so of course I’m gonna think he’s a bit burly, but this is me headcanoning and not actually hinted at in canon. Marcus is 19, so I imagine he can only be so strong.

Back to Edward’s speed.

He’s a 6′2″ teen, that’s code for “very long legs”, though I’m actually going to go ahead and posit that he’s not actually that fast. Strap in for this next part:

The guy was a teenager who lay dying for an undisclosed amount of time. The fact that Carlisle had the time to get to know his mother points to a few weeks, at least. And Edward was very ill:

Elizabeth worried obsessively over her son. She hurt her own chances of survival trying to nurse him from her sickbed. I expected that he would go first, he was so much worse off than she was. (New Moon, page 21)

Muscles atrophy quickly, never more so than when you’re a teen ravaged by fever, on your deathbed. And as I’ve explained above, I think your physique in life ties directly into your vampiric prowess.

I think Edward is certainly the physically weakest of the male Cullens, quite likely weaker than Rosalie as well, maybe even Esme.

Now, speed is not the same as strength. However, for humans, the two are connected. It’s the muscle fibers in our legs that determine our speed. Basically, type I fibers make an enduring runner, type II fibers make a speed runner. So, assuming that vampires retain their human musculature, one could argue that Edward had a lot of type II in life. However, Carlisle when he was human was able to outrun the mob he was with:

He ran through the streets, and Carlisle — he was twenty-three and very fast — was in the lead of the pursuit. (Twilight, page 158)

Carlisle clearly had a lot of type II fibers, and unlike Edward he was in peak physical condition when he died. He was also an adult who’d had more time to develop musculature, while Edward was a seventeen-year-old. If musculature was a deciding factor, one would think they would at the very least be of equal speed, though realistically Edward should be slower.

So, if it’s not muscles, what is it that makes Edward faster than the others?

It could be a matter of technique. Except, the way Bella describes movement when she wakes up as a vampire, it’s all very automated. Her body knows exactly how to do everything, and executes it without much input from her:

After that first frozen second of shock, my body responded to the unfamiliar touch in a way that shocked me even more.

Air hissed up my throat, spitting through my clenched teeth with a low, menacing sound like a swarm of bees. Before the sound was out, my muscles bunched and arched, twisting away from the unknown. I flipped off my back in a spin so fast it should have turned the room into an incomprehensible blur—but it did not. I saw every dust mote, every splinter in the wood-paneled walls, every loose thread in microscopic detail as my eyes whirled past them.

So by the time I found myself crouched against the wall defensively—about a sixteenth of a second later—I already understood what had startled me, and that I had overreacted. (Breaking Dawn, page 251-252)

Growling, crouching - those are all distinctly vampiric, non-human ways to act. Bella didn’t learn this, her body knew it of its own accord. When she later runs, she explains it as happening the same way - she just does it.

The way Bella experiences it, vampiric movement is like a package she downloaded, and that executes her instinctual commands with no need for her to actually know how to do any of this. Her grace is another example of this - Bella Swan may be in charge of her own consciousness, but the venom is entirely in control of her body.

Given these facts, I don’t think it’s technique that makes Edward a better runner than others. His technique is likely similar to everyone else’s. If it isn’t, if technique is what makes the difference, then who is and isn’t fast is an arbitrary process.

With that, we get to my controversial theory about why Edward is the fastest Cullen: he’s not.

Running and being fast is the only thing about vampirism that Edward enjoys. This is for another meta, but Edward is extremely depressed about every single other bit of it. Every aspect of being a vampire torments him.

Except the running. He enjoys all of it, especially being the fastest, so much. And as a newborn, he would have been faster than Carlisle.

But after that, when his newborn strength faded…

I honestly think that Carlisle decided to just slow down a bit when running with him, let Edward have this. It’s no skin of his back, and it makes Edward happy, so why not.

Esme joins the family, and of course she would be down for this. Nothing is more parental, more maternal, than losing at checkers to make your child happy, after all. Could also be she’s not very fast herself, but even if she were then she would downplay it to make Edward feel like Jesse Owens.

Enter Rosalie, who would think it’s completely ridiculous, yes, but she would also recognize this excellent opportunity to call in a big favor from Carlisle later on. There’s also the fact that I think Carlisle has a gift (yes, yes, meta is coming, people) that makes him very persuasive people. And also that for all that Rose gets a lot of bad rep, she is very generous and loves her family, if being fast makes Edward happy then alright.

Emmett is an easy-going guy, he goes along with things. Alice adores Edward and would go along with it. She also has tiny matchstick legs and couldn’t outrun him if she tried. Jasper could not care less.

Bella does get outrun by Edward after waking up, but she also did zero exercise in life (listing this in case musculature matter), had Renesmée devour her from within rendering her emaciated, and then died like a slasher movie murder victim. There’s not a lot of blood in her, and what little blood there is doesn’t have a lot to work with. She does defeat Emmett at arm wrestling, so I’ll concede that. However, there are enough extenuating circumstances surrounding Bella that I think my “Edward isn’t that fast” theory survives his ability to outrun her.

So, I believe Edward is the fast Cullen because Carlisle told a white lie in 1919, no one ever corrected that, and now it’s too late.

[siswritesyanderes]

OK now you made me wanna yandere aro x leah how would their relationship be

Okay, so imagine the same initial set of circumstances as described in the Marcus post, but instead of Marcus sitting up and exhaling peculiarly when Leah is brought in, Aro makes a noise of surely-exaggerated delight, speeds over to Leah, and takes her hand right away. Leah reels and snatches her hand back, like, "Watch it, bloodsucker!" "Apologies, darling Leah," Aro purrs. He doesn't tell her right away that he's fallen in love with her, though Marcus sees his fixation forming and chuckles dryly. "I would like to offer you a place here, among us." "Yeah, I remember; Cullen said you were interested in guard dogs. If you got anything out of that little mind scan you just did, you've probably figured out that you picked exactly the wrong werewolf." (And Caius would start some pedantic argument about whether she's a werewolf or a shapeshifter; skipping all of that.) "Of course, I understand now that you would be the last person to ever fight for us," Aro agrees, amused. His red eyes are sparkling. "I have no intention of asking it of you." "And if this is, or was, a hostage plan, I guess now you know that that won't likely work out, either." (I'm reminded of that scene from season one of Umbrella Academy, where Klaus is being tortured and straight up says that the bad guys screwed up when they picked him, since no one in his family will come looking for him. Like, Leah would be equally cavalier in pointing out that 1. No one will find out she's been captured in any useful length of time, and 2. She doesn't believe anyone would come to save her if they did find out.) "Oh, my poor dear." In contrast with his words and his pitying gaze, Aro is grinning delightedly. Leah glares fearlessly back. "Will you introduce her to Sulpicia?" Marcus asks, to move things along (because he finds Aro's dancing around the matter of his infatuation terribly tedious). "Not just now, brother," Aro says lightly. He knows that Sulpicia will likely have the same feelings for Leah that he does, but he has no particular interest in letting her. He enjoys the idea of loving them both but keeping them separate. "I think dear Leah would like her own quarters. I would, however, like to introduce her to Chelsea." (Internally, Leah is like, Which one is Chelsea again?!) "What's the point?" she demands. "We've established that I'm useless to you. Literally just direct me to the exit." "Now, who ever said you're useless?"

Aro would have Chelsea selectively cut off Leah's outside relationships; he would have her get rid of positive relationships but not negative ones, so Leah still feels the rejection of her first pack and the betrayal of Sam and Emily and the loss of her father, but she doesn't feel (at least on nearly the same level) her sororal bond with Seth or her burgeoning friendship with Jacob or any of that. He also instructs Chelsea to get rid of the animosity between Leah and the Volturi, but to let the animosity between Leah and vampires in general remain. This makes it easier for him to convince her to stay.

She still perceives herself as coerced, so she's still as deliberately high-maintenance as she is in the Marcus scenario, but she has no particular desire to escape, so long as she is treated with respect and allowed her freedom. Aro isn't quite as protective as Marcus, so he lets her go out into the city to enjoy herself; he just has guards follow her at a respectful distance and secretly eat any human she has too strong a rapport with.

Aro will not renounce his human diet for her, and Leah hates it. She takes him to task about it all the time, and he pretty much just lets her get mad because there's a certain novelty to being fussed at by someone over whom he has power. He has Sulpicia to be comforting and pleasant, and Leah is exciting and spirited.

He adores her spirit. He finds her so adorable. Really, her attempts to be inconveniently demanding are almost redundant, because he takes the initiative to spoil her pretty grandly on his own. She can only think to ask for things that she wants in the moment, but he's privvy to everything she's ever wanted; everything she saw in a commercial ten years ago and coveted but didn't ask for. Everything she convinced herself not to want, sour-grapes-style. And he buys her pretty much all of it.

It's not just material gifts, though.

There is a culmination where he manages to abduct Sam and Emily. (Cue that John Mulaney joke: "Do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because he sounds like he sucks, and I will totally kill that guy for you.") He figures that letting her watch them beg for her forgiveness (and their lives) would be good closure. Of course, keeping Sam in check takes some doing, but he has the resources to make sure Sam fears for Emily's safety if he wolfs out.

Leah convinces Aro not to murder her ex and her cousin, and he relents, after touching her hand and determining that she really would be happier if he didn't.

Still, he has Jane walk them out, and she delights in sending them short bursts of pain at random intervals on the way, both because she enjoys hurting people in general and because her devotion to Aro extends to Leah, now, by association. Whenever Leah gets mad at someone who isn't Aro (or Caius or Marcus, though it's never Marcus because Marcus stays out of stuff), Jane gets back at them for her. She's trying to get Leah to like her as much as Aro does. Jane is really a huge kiss-up.

Also, because Aro knows that Leah has at a point been self-conscious about the fact that turning into a wolf has put her reproductive processes on pause (and yes, Meyer expressed this in an unbelievably horrible way), there is a non-zero chance that he steals a baby for her, like, "Are you interested in this at all? Because Felix ate its parents, anyway, so you may as well keep it."

[writings-of-a-crazy-lady]

Invisible Ties

Word Count: 2,249

Chapter 14

My fingers glided across the ivory, the simple melody that I knew encasing me in a fantasy world.  I was lost in my mind, unaware of my surroundings or those that came and went.  I had a few human “maids” that would often check on me, asking if I needed any water or food.  But I was entranced in the song, humming the words that I had practiced over and over again in school when I was able to attend.

Music was always an escape for me.  Always a way for me to slowly lose myself, forget my troubles and pain.  Even when I was nothing in my mind, in the world of song, I was something.  I could sing away my troubles, my broken heart or soul.  I was able to disappear and become something.  Prove all of my bullies and cruel mother wrong in just a few minutes.

I heard the door open to the room, but my fingers did not stop the melody as I allowed my hands to move across the keys.  I never allowed the words to fall from my lips, merely humming the tune until I felt hands touch my shoulders.  I quickly stopped playing the piano, allowing the unfinished notes to ring in the air that left me feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Yes?” I looked up, spotting the crimson gaze of Marcus.

“You seem troubled, little one.”

“Is it that obvious?” I sighed, scooting over to allow Marcus a chance to sit on the bench with me. He took the hint, sitting close to me. I had closed my eyes, but I could feel his concerned gaze upon my face, as if he was searching for an easy answer to his many questions.

“Not obvious, mia amore.  I can feel the disturbance.  It is slight,” he quickly corrected when I looked at him, my immediate discomfort of the others knowing that I was unhappy showing.  “But none the less there.”

“I guess I can’t keep it a secret, can I?” I sighed heavily.  Aro could easily discern it if my power did not block him and now Marcus seemed to feel our connection and could sense if something was wrong.  All that is left is for Caius to have some secret ability at discerning my emotions and then it would be a losing battle to deal with my discomfort alone.

“Never keep secrets from us. If anything, then you can tell me whatever is bothering you.  I do not judge, little one.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?  Little one? Do I seem small to you?” I tried to change the subject, distract him somehow, but Marcus was as attentive as ever. His eyes gave that much away.

“I am much taller than you,” he pointed out, reminding me how short I was.  I nodded before sighing again, glancing down at my hands before staring straight at a wall.  I wasn’t sure how to tell him.  How to explain my discomfort at what had transpired recently.  After my panic attack at the pool, I spent the rest of my evening contemplating everything since I spent much of it alone.  And being alone was apparently dangerous since I overthought everything.  Every little detail of my life, my body, my hobbies…. All of it.  And honestly, I was second guessing their attraction or their faith in me.  Which was easy since my confidence was non-existent and the Volturi had a high level of it.

Still, I found myself unable to form the words, much less look at him.  How would he feel if I told him that I had zero faith in them?  That their affections could not be true? Marcus would probably feel hurt more than anything.  Something I didn’t want him to feel.  But I couldn’t help this doubt, no matter how much I wish I could.

A soft melody began to play, immediately gaining my attention as I turned to look at my partner. It was a tune I did not expect Marcus to know, yet he played it none the less.  Long fingers glided across the ivory keys as I found myself hearing the words in my mind.  It wasn’t a popular broadway musical, in fact, it flopped quite horribly.  It didn’t live up to the expectations of its predecessor but one particular song always stuck with me…

“~Who knows when love begins?  Who knows what makes it start?  One day it’s simply there, Alive inside your heart.”

I started the tune, the words quick to fall from my lips.  I didn’t realize I had gotten his attention, not seeing how Marcus’ gaze focused on me.  He just continued the melody as I sang the song, the words meaning something to me.

It was simply about love. How it ensnares those around them. Love was a mysterious emotion, never knowing how it begins or ends, if it ends at all.  And the fact that it can cause you great pain and lonely… Love itself was a confusing thing.  It could bring happiness and destruction all at the same time.  And in the end, it still endures.  Even through all the breakups, there was always a little bit of love left.

During the song, as I allowed the music to consume my everything, I had allowed my eyes to close once again.  My mind emptied of all my worries, every single thought slowly ceasing in my mind until nothing but a blank slate was there.  Just the words of the song and the emotions I was feeling.  And during that time, an audience began to form. Just 2 individuals, but still, an audience nonetheless.  Something I wasn’t quite use too…

The melody surrounded me, my voice carrying through the room.  Marcus never once missed a beat, keeping up with me as I hit the climax of the song, following the notes until I was able to reach the end of the song.  And I couldn’t help but ponder on the words for a few seconds more as he finished the melody, allowing the tune to ring in the air as if it was a thick blanket surrounding us.  Love truly was a strange concept.  To appear, even when you least expected it.  Doubtful anyone in the world could understand it.  Especially surrounded by twinkling vampires.    

“Brava!  Brava!” estatic clapping forced my eyes to open, my whole body immediately standing to attention as I finally realized that it wasn’t just Marcus and I in the room alone.  It took me a few seconds to finally realize that it was Aro doing the clapping, Caius not at boisterous but seemed quite impressed with my impromptu performance.

“E’stato magnifico, il mio amore,” Aro gushed over me, clasping his hands together.  “Truly marvelous.  You have such an enchanting voice.”

“Indeed, much like the siren we claimed,” Caius agreed.  I found myself blushing, rubbing my cheeks to dull what I could of the red.

“It’s nothing really,” I tried to pass off the praise, the idea making me far more uncomfortable. But I could tell they didn’t want to pass it off, trying quickly to continue the compliments.  Even when my stance turned to me hugging myself, forcing a fake appreciative smile on my face.

“Aro, enough,” a sudden snap from Marcus made him stop, the low growl not something I expected from my gentle giant.  I had to look up at him to make sure he wasn’t angry, but I was merely greeted with a calm look.  One that hid a small bit of worry underneath.  But the compliments ceased, Aro and Caius sharing a very confused look.  They didn’t speak, at least, not at an interval I could hear.  I mean, they could be sharing some telepathic language that I am not aware of… right?

“Forgive me, I’m just not use to attention or praise.  Truth is, I’m use to being exactly what I am good at, and that’s being invisible,” I started, knowing now that I had their attention.  Truth was, I was debating with telling them about my past.  I knew it would be difficult to explain, but Aro was right in a way.  Perhaps one of them knew exactly what it was like.  They were thousands of years old.  Lived through a time that I could never fully understand myself.  So perhaps someone understood.

“I grew up in a very chaotic life.  My father abandoned us before I was born.  Mom held some hope he would come back but he never did.  And mom and I could never see eye to eye.  She hated me.  Hated that I existed and took away the one person she loved.  We often lived in the poorest and darkest parts of town,” I paused, picking at a spot on my shirt.  It took me a second to gather my thoughts in order to continue.  “It was easier I suppose.  Mom often performed sexual favors to get out of paying rent or if she was short.  She drank a lot.  Got into some heavy drugs.  There was hardly any food in the house so I scraped by with what I could get ahold of. Mom, of course, never wanted to really see me out and about so I had to sneak around to avoid her.”

“I see,” Marcus’ voice held a sad note, his eyes void of any light that I was used to seeing.  He probably saw the line that connected me to her. He had explained his gift once to me. So, it was only logical.  I’m sure it didn’t look all that pretty either. Probably frayed and merely connected by a single thread.

“Yeah.  It’s like I told the Cullens, I saw a lot of red eyes where I lived.  Ran into a group that I guess activated my ability because they tried to attack me. But I disappeared on them.”

“Do you remember them at all?” Aro’s voice held a bit of retribution in it, my eyes finally connecting with his.  I guess my ability blocked out that part of my life because I could tell this was news to him.

“I could recognize them if I saw them.  But not off the top of my head,” I answered honestly.  Aro nodded only once, sharing a look with Caius as if he could deduce anything.

“Rogues.  They frequent the less fortunate areas.  High crime rates, missing persons- any attacks can go unnoticed and unsolved by law enforcement,” Caius shook his head.  “We cannot fault them for that.  Or we would have to fault ourselves for not finding her.”

It only took me a minute to realize what Caius meant, knowing then that Aro held some animosity toward the ones that attacked.  Which was odd.  I figured Caius would be the one to throw some sort of fit about them.  Not Aro.

“Alessandra,” a soft sigh made me look at Caius, the blond vampire having some sort of understanding in that moment.  It took a lot for me to not bolt when he held his hands out.  I didn’t know if I disappointed him yet I couldn’t feel that coming from him either.  Caius, to my surprise however, didn’t rush me.  It was as if he knew something the others didn’t.  Something about me.  Or about my situation.

“You do not need to blame yourself for anything that had happened to you.  I can see it in your eyes,” those words made me stiffen.  Aro and Marcus did as well.  Which surprised me once again.  I didn’t know what to think of those words.  Perhaps the shock came from it being Caius, the most volatile one of the bunch.  Yet he was not rushing, not snapping at me… what was going on actually?

“Masters!”

All three turned toward the doorway, Marcus quick to shelter me in his robes as they addressed the one who had bothered us.  It wasn’t one of the normal guard, I could easily tell that.  This one was probably of the lower ranks, though it made me wonder for a brief moment how large their army was.  I mean, vampires couldn’t die of natural causes, so an endless army was possible to build.

“What is it?” the familiar snap of the blonde was back, though he was standing closer to my form.  Aro had done the same as well, each standing unbearably close to my form as if they couldn’t trust the new comer.  Again, made me wonder…

“Multiple visitors have arrived, requesting your presence,” came the news, the young vampire swallowed thickly, her focus quick to snap to me.

“Tell them it can wait. We are busy,” Caius’ words were not kind as he turned to face me.  But his features did not match his words, as if he was hiding his displeasure from me.

“I understand, Masters, but-“

“But what?”

“One of them has asked to see Lady Alessandra,” she paused, bowing deeply before adding, “by name.”

“Who would ask for me? No one knows I’m here aside from the Cullens,” I countered, suspicious by the situation.  No one knows but them.  They were the only ones who mattered anyways.

“I am not sure, my lady. But she claims,” the vampire paused, again unsure of what else to say.  At least until Caius snapped again, peering over his shoulder toward her.  And that was when she uttered a single sentence that made my body go cold with shock and horror.

“She claims to be your mother.”

[lunchador]

so when do we get the long post about your feelings about dragon age inquisition!!! i dunno if u wanna wait until dlc or not! i am i n t e r e s t e d (also its ok if u dont feel up to it im just!!!! again, interested in ur opinions/feelings)

kajsldkjf PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY DA FEELINGS ALL THE TIME and Inquisition was twice as long as the others so might as well do a word vomit now and I can always do another after the dlc (which several people have assured me are worth playing )

SO

Yeah so inquisition is long. I dislike open world games so a lot of the (super repetitive!!) side quests did grate on my nerves and that docks this game a few points but over all the LORE IS SO GOOD, and it tying in so many choices in from 1+2 is the greatest butterfly effect I ever experienced in video games. I thought telltale + Until dawn were fun for that but good LORD bioware has showed up all of those games and I am really stoked to try mass effect when its out later and play more bw games. I only played Anthem before this and that game seemed...idk, gutted against BW’s wishes.

ANYWAY

Yeah, I managed to go into the whole DA series knowing very, very little, despite how many artists I followed did fanart for it. Once I started playing, I added all the words I could think of to my blacklist but a lot of untagged stuff came through (fair, series is 10+ years old and inq is like what 4-5?). I allowed my friends to pressure me into playing an elf mage for the lore and to romance solas cuz they said he was as important to the story as alistair was. A lot of online followers said I should play how I wanted, which I def would recommend to anyone else, but honestly I can see where they came from and while he never would have been my first choice, I think he actually paired REALLY well with my Inq and how I was playing her. I put her as sensitive but trying to put her responsibility above herself, she was definitely the least funny of my 3 characters, but not incredibly serious. A bit reserved? Just more mature. She’s got faith but she didn’t think she was the chosen one but she’ll do her role the best of her ability. She makes hard decisions and then sobs her chest empty over them because how is one to ever feel like its the right one? I really like how the game lets you choose how you wanna approach the responsibility. Like i said, I wasn’t a reluctant chosen one, but she will do what she can. Versus my friend playing at the same time as me said he played as the second coming of jesus essentially lmfao Having so many characters come back for different roles was so GOOD!!! Like everyone told me Varric was in this one but were like ‘teehee you still cant romance him though’ but you how you play drastically changes your relationships with each person. Tons of characters I met I knew would be personal favorites but I ended up interacting way less because others were more fitting to my inquisitor. So i.e while I love Varric and would’ve smooched him a heartbeat with Hawke, I didn’t get that vibe with Clover. They were really good friends, he was a grounded friend with a sense of humor that was a good escape from everyone else and the ~inquisition~. At least, until the Beyond the Abyss quest. That obviously heavily fractured their friendship and hurt them both :( And i felt that for a long time, until the end. He looked tired. Poor guy is gonna be borderline dead in 4 at this point. But so many side characters you talk to coming back like Dagna and Samson??? Speaking of that quest, I got Stroud because, yeah...Alistair was dead for me and APPARENTLY IT COULD ALSO BE LOGHAIN??? If he stays a grey warden??  wish I did that so def would’ve preferred to save Hawke even if I think the wardens are more important as a concept but like.......i wanted to behead him, so....But yes even tiny details like..Varric wrote home to kirkwall to Carver for me because the rest of my family was dead and I never completed a full romance in 2 lkajslkdjf but the fact that changes based on your play through. BUT YEAH THE way this game weaves all your decisions in and how yeah, overall the story is the same but it makes it so personal to YOU and so different from everyone else ;w;

But I could see my Inq genuinely falling for Solas, and I see her best friends as Cassandra and Blackwall/Thom. Really close to Leliana and the Iron Bull as well. I just loved all their interactions. All the characters were so cool to get to know?? Like I thought I would’ve hated Cullen (hes a dick in O) and tbh I just got into the series as the VA was being a complete shit. But I liked him a lot!! I love the work buddies vibes between the Inq and the advisors. I thought I was going to love Sera!! And like, I did, but she hated my Inquisitor and their personalities clashed a lot. Shes the only one i didn’t get a cut scene for in the end :’) I loved coming back from story quests and having to take like 20 minutes to go around skyhold and make sure I talked to /everyone/ for their new dialogue. You genuinely feel connected to all these wonderful npcs ljkasljdf

I wanted to make Cassandra the new divine but I made leliana on accident and kinda dug it so I stuck with it. VARRIC IS THE NEW VISCOUNT??? h i l a r i o u s.

One of the things I loved the most in this game in particular, and while this is something in all of them it just really struck me in this one, was....everyone gave up so so much to devote themselves to the cause, y’know?? Like, it’s almost heartbreaking how much everyone loses and they’re still looking towards you with their belief and willingness to follow you to the end ;-;

The final fight almost felt, Idk, underwhelming? Dude dragons are way tougher than him asdkjhfkhjd. I even went up a difficulty in this game after feeling like I got the hang of the series. But at the same time, we just spend how many hours knocking down each and one of his advantages so fuck him lol.

But yeah there are so many things I wanted to do but I felt so worn out by mindless sidequests and story being level locked in comparison to the previous games. askdjhflkd

One of the things that blows my mind is so so many people were stoked i was playing DA and they couldn’t wait til I got to Inq, and so I find out most people I know only ever played Inquisition? TBH if I didn’t play O+2 I think I would’ve dropped inquisition and never finished it *shrug* all of the build up just means SO MUCH!!! Everyones argument seems to be the older games are ugly and yeah O has rough battle system but its easy to get over imo. Like, you need the chaos of 2 to get the real weight of the mage/templar stuff?? Theres so many characters and story and dialogue that go over your head without Origins?? Like yes inq can stand alone pretty well but, idk, I’m in love with this entire series and the world building and THE!! WAY!!! IT!!! ALL!!! CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!!!

I love how a quest can go differently by whos in your party, I love you can have more dialogue based on lore you’ve managed to pick up around, I love HOW COMPANIONS BICKERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! The lore of these games are so good. It’s like playing an epic line of novels. It’s so immersive and I don’t think I’ve played too many games to this level.

I didn’t like the skill trees to being a mage in this one, Idk why. It wasn’t nearly as fun for me as 2, but then  again I really fucking liked being a force mage haha. I wanted to be a rogue to complete a diff class per game but everyone said mage brings a lot more interesting story/lore stuff so

but yeah I love having the full context now and seeing other peoples Wardens/Hawkes/Inquisitors and asking people how they played and how their options differed from mine and THERES JUST SO MANY POSSIBLE DECISION TREES!!!!! No wonder the fans play over and over.

but yeah ultimately so much fucking happened?? I’m probably missing a lot of key points.

[dimancheetoile]

I read your tags for dragon age and like I n DA4 we'll be in Tevinter. Mages already rule and they actively subjugate and even enslave people. Do you think you would still side with mages? I have always sided with mages bc yeah but Tevinter isn't like the rest of Thedas. What do you think bc I've been struggling with this thought since the first teaser...

hey there! so first, i’d like to say that it’s very likely i won’t pay da4. I hated DAI on many, many levels, and though I did enjoy some things, it’s overall a game I don’t like and wouldn’t recommend to anyone. So if da4 resembles DAI more than it does DA2 or DAO, I probably won’t play it.

But for the sake of argument, and just in case I do end up playing it, here’s what I think:

1. I don’t think they’ll have us side once more on the mage/templar debate. They’ve done that for the past two games (and arguably in DAO too, although it was a less prevalent plot point) and I don’t think that conflict has the same weight in Tevinter. Templars are basically useless in that context, because mages have such a different societal rank, place, and power, that you can’t think of them as mages.

I’m going to give an example that I think is fitting. See how black people are treated in north-america, and the power law enforcement has over them? Let’s say black people are mages, and law enforcement are the templars. In that context, siding with the templars is a terrible thing to do, considering the oppression and the power they have over mages. Now let’s say you suddenly move to Mali, or Ghana. The population will be an overwhelming majority of black people, with law enforcement being of the same ethnicity. Now, every disparity in power between citizens and law enforcement will come from the inherent inbalance between those two groups, and the civil rights breaches will be limited to human rights, and not racism anymore. Does that make sense? I hope it does. So if your Ferelden, for ex, is the US, then Tevinter is Ghana. Suddenly, siding with the mages doesn’t make sense anymore. It’s like being in Ghana and saying you side with black people. I sure hope you do, it’s their fucking country!

So that’s why I think the devs won’t write in the mage/templar conflict. I personally think the conflict will be more in line with Fenris’ storyline in DA2. I think they’ll have you choose between siding with the Magisterium, the people in power, in order to gain an alliance or something to fight the big bad threat, and between siding with, most likely, either a slave rebellion or the mages of lower class Tevinter, who aren’t Magisters, just mages (I know there’s a canon word for it but I can’t remember).

In that case, I’d personally side with the slaves, all day, every day. Now, what they could do to make that choice very interesting and agonizing, would be to be unequivocally brutal about the consequences. For ex, because you pissed off the Magisters and sided with the slaves, the Magisters won’t join you in the big battle. You therefor have so little forces that the losses you suffer in the battle are tremendous. I’m talking companions dying permenantly, civilian death, many slaves dying if they join you, etc. Now, your choice is interesting. Do you free the slaves or aid the lower class mages, in exchange for most of their lives? Or do you side with the Magisters, keeping the slaves alive but still in slavery? 

Anyway, that was me fantasying about the writers having balls and finally writing consequences for their so-called “big choices”.

But let’s actually answer your question.

2. I would still side with the mages, if the mage/templar conflict was maintained. Here’s my reasoning: all the bad shit we hear about Tevinter comes from the Chantry, who hates them, ex-slaves or mages who suffered under their power, or templars who are basically just the Chantry 2.0. Now, the bad shit you hear about the Templar is, imo, so much fucking worse. Because to me, slavery is NOT related to the Magisters being mages. It’s related to them being awful fucking people, bigots and racists and morally bankrupt. I don’t believe that to be an inherent quality of mages. So, in a matter of civil rights, should I refuse black people rights because there are looters in BLM protests? Fuck no. My hope is that the writers will be clever about this and siding with mages won’t mean siding with slavers, because that would undermine the message they tried to get across in the last three games (as awkward as it was). Forcing us to side with the templars because suddenly mages are assholes will be an empty-ass choice.

3. Magisters don’t equal Mages. I’m pretty sure it’s Dorian who makes a point of this, but my memories of DAI are fuzzier than those of the other two games so I could be wrong. So we could side with the mages without siding with the Imperium, depending on how the writers handle it

4. Templars are just so fucking terribles, and that includes to themselves. Samson is such a sad character, seriously. Not only do they destroy mages’ lives, but they destroy the lives of their own recruits. I will never not be angry whenever I see that cutscene with Cullen where he’s such an abusive asshole to Willmord in DA2, after the poor guy was tortured and abused. And when you free the other recruit, he’s punished and set back years if you select the right options, and down-right expelled or killed, which will lead to his sister dying of starvation too. So the “good” ending is this guy stuck in the same rank for 10 years because he was tortured? WTF??? And Cullen is like “oh yeah this is such a good thing i’m doing for him” like fuck this guy omfg i hate him. Ahem. anyway.

5. In the end, I think it comes to this: the conflict is different in Tevinter because the culture is different. If the writers do their job right, the conflict should reflect that. If they don’t, it’ll suck ass but I’d still side with the mages. Putting up Templars to replace Magisters in the Imperium won’t be what frees the slaves or gets the lower class mages out of poverty, trust me on that. On the contrary, even. When have they shown an ounce of compassion or kindness, and especially for slaves, elves and mages? 

Wow that got very long, but I’m passionate about this. Hope that helps! Feel free to ask other stuff if you want to keep discussing this, I think it’s a very interesting topic. Thanks for asking and have a great day, my friend.

[iheardarumorxxx]

Midnight Sun, Chapter 2 - Open Book

Not even a full paragraph in and I have to call Weirdo on something. In the Twilight canon, it is often mentioned that vampires are always always always cold. Like, big old blocks of perfectly sculpted ice. But here, Eddie boy says that his skin had cooled to match the air around him. Can’t work that way. Either Pires are heat sinks that are always freezing, or their temperature can change based on the temperature around them. Can’t be both.

Also gonna bring up the chapter titles real quick. Maybe SM will try to hamfist it, but in Twilight the chapter titles were (supposedly) related to the chapter. First Sight was Bella (supposedly) falling in love at first sight w Edward, and Open Book was Bella going on about how she was an open book and couldn’t hide anything and wore her emotions on her face etc etc. It doesn’t make sense to me to keep the same chapter titles when we’re obstensively living in the head of a different character.

Would have been, if I'd been able to really see it.

What SM was going for here was ‘Edward was so lost in his own head that he couldn’t even see the sky above him even though it was beautiful’ but this doesn’t work. Wanna know why? It’s because of this:  The sky above me was clear, brilliant with stars, glowing blue in some places, yellow in others. The stars created majestic, swirling shapes against the black universe - an awesome sight

Weirdo described the sky with perfect, flowery detail, expressed outright the colors that were swirling above him and the way the stars swirled and made shapes. He wouldn’t have been able to do that if he was too focused on his own thoughts to pay attention to it. This is what I mean when I say that SM hasn’t really mastered the First Person POV. This would have absolutely worked if instead of ‘I’ it had said ‘he’. 

As a note: Weirdo calling Bella ‘unremarkable’ in terms of how she looks just comes off as those shitty ‘you aren’t even that hot’ responses from people when they get rejected.

And Weirdo describing the way Tanya leaps at him reads really flat and boring. The play by play method to show how Graceful and Ethereal the Pires are is gross and the flat emotionless tone makes it read like a laundry list of actions. 

Chagrin sighting number two. And I’ve gotta say, this little thing with Weirdo and Tanya reads a little more realistically than any interaction between our main couple throughout the entire Twilight Saga. Sure, Widdle Eddie isn’t into her, but they’re openly and honestly communicating about it, which is more than Bella and Weirdo ever did.

Mostly Tanya preferred human men

This sentence right here completely invalidates Weirdo’s entire argument about how he would murder Bella with his Schlong if he ever gave into his desire for her, as there is clearly a way to hook up with a pathetic, weak human without killing them.

Two chagrins in one chapter, I am blessed.

though her feelings were not deep, hardly pure, and, in any case, not something I could return.

This goes back to that thing I was bitching about in chapter one about Weirdo and only reading surface level thoughts. He isn’t an empath, he can’t descern from her surface thoughts how deep her feelings might be. Based on how his power comes across, it’s likely that he can’t actually interpret any kind of tone at all, and is guessing at the emotion behind the thought. Just because Tanya makes a passing thought about Eddie that may be ‘unpure’ (gag) doesn’t mean that her feelings for him are strictly lusty and naughty.

By the way, it’s only chapter two and I’m already sick of hearing about Bella’s ‘chocolate brown eyes’.

That time jump that they did from Snowy Alaska back to Fork High cafeteria was jarring. We have literally travelled through space time to get back to The Plot(tm) as quickly as possible. Maybe, just maybe, it would have been beneficial to see some of Weirdo’s drive back, get some more introspection, more of an idea of how he plans to handle himself re: The Bella Thing, even if it is in his whiny, affected urple prose.

Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in. To blend in with everyone else around them, like a featureless flock of sheep.

Unlike our great, wonderful, perfect Pires, of course. They would never dare to try fitting in with the Sheep that they have decided to live among and try to blend in with. This goes to prove my point that SM’s Pires don’t give a flying shit about blending in with humans, even though it is supposedly Vampire Mafia Law that they don’t get exposed.

"Maybe you're not as scary as you think you are,"

Despite the fact that SM tries so hard to make him come off as the stereotype of ‘dumb jock’, Emmett deserves a better series than this one. Not being afraid to roast Weirdo is absolutely fucking A+ in my book.

We are, yet again, applying Pire logic and physics to not Pire things to show how Strong and Powerful and Amazing our Pires are. I must once again posit that these things are not Pires, and therefore, would not behave in this manner, even when a Pire is interacting with it.

I am once again unconvinced by this Let’s Shit On Jessica Stanley thing I’m having to schlock through. Sure, she’s a lil petty, but she doesn’t come across as overt mean girl bully and she never has. SM never made her feel like anything more than a (in fairness, extremely stereotypical) teenage girl trying to be nice to the new girl in school and being put off by her weird behavior.

Small point to make here, just because I realized how bored I was with the debate over whether Weirdo would go to class and murder Bella or not. Because this is a companion piece to an already published novel, we know what’s gonna happen. Now, a good author wouldn’t let that stop them from making the tension feel real. Even though I know the outcome, I would still be focused on the journey to get there. But I’m not, because it reads as dry and dull. The tension isn’t there and I’m not enjoying the journey to get to the ending I already know. The characters aren’t even likeable enough to keep me entertained. This is why companion pieces and POV shift retellings are so hard to do.

it was hard to believe that anyone so vulnerable could ever justify hatred.

I feel like this is supposed to be the first lil glimmer that Weirdo is In LUV with Bella or whatever in this POV, but the thing is, his patronizing tone and the way he is seemingly always going on about how weak and pathetic Bella is just kinda makes it feel like he’s acting like her Dad. 

Though they didn't want to stand out from the herd, at the same time they craved a spotlight for their individual uniformity.

I only have one thing to say about this. Fuck You Edward Cullen.

I feel like Weirdo is starting to craft this idea of Bella in his head, much like he does with everyone else, but because he doesn’t have the crutch of using his surface thought mind reading powers, he has to guess at her thoughts (much like typical normal human people do because we’re weak and pathetic unlike the Pires), and he’s basically assigning her the thoughts he thinks she should be having. He’s crafting Bella into the perfect ideal for himself without taking her atonomy into consideration.

"Ladies first, partner?"

This is a continuity error. In Twilight, he did not say ‘Partner’, just ‘Ladies first’. It’s nitpickey, and I’m aware that it’s nitpickey, but it’s jarring if you know Twilight well enough to know the dialogue. If we’re going to see the same scene from a different POV, the only thing changing should be the inner monologue, not the dialogue between characters.

I could feel myself warming slightly to the higher temperature.

Bzzzzt, no. I already talked about this earlier, but everything established in canon shows that Eddie doesn’t ever warm up. He and Bella cuddle under a blanket and he is still described as rock hard marble adonis ice. He can’t warm up, according to established canon.

And in this chapter, we finally start the Shitting On Mike Newton run. Mike is the fucking worst in this book and is treated like shit, all because -- can you guess??? -- all because he thought the new girl was pretty and had a little crush on her. Mike gets shit on SO FUCKING MUCH in this series just for daring to think Bella is pretty.

Ignorance was bliss to the human mind.

OR EDDIE YOU’RE JUST ARROGANT AND RUDE AND NOT AS INTERESTING AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. The Cullens fucking PRANCE around this school in their designer beige turtlenecks with their flashy fucking cars and look down their noses at the pleb humans who could never be as good as they are, and especially with the way SM wants to paint Forks as this fucking insular hick town where everyone knows everyone and are probably socioeconomically lower than American average, its RUDE AND GROSS and makes them look like stuck up fucking JERKS. But sure. Keep touting on about how humans are scared of you.

And yet again, we get an example of Eddie boy ignoring the fact that Bella (for all of her faults) is a HUMAN PERSON and not some game for him to play. ‘Wahhh, I can’t read her thoughts, that makes me angy and frustrated’ and whining about how he wants her to GO AWAY because her blood makes his froat hurt but how he wants her to stay because she’s so MYSTERIOUS AND DEEP. 

This didn't fit with the scenario I'd been constructing in my head.

And this is exactly the point I was making up there. Edward is making wild assumptions about Bella based solely on his experience with the human condition from his immortality, but he is also crafting her into what HE thinks is the right way for her to be in his mind without taking into consideration that she is a complex human with feelings and emotions. But instead of actually correcting himself, he continues to do this, and we know he does because he continues to posit that she’s deep and wise even though we know different from being in her POV for three and a half books. 

A lot more of this dialogue is changed from the conversation in the original Twilight than I thought. It should be easy to keep at least the dialogue consistent.

I clearly was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for.

This is the most true thing that Eddie is going to think in this entire book, and it isn’t even genuine and that upsets me so much.

my mother always calls me her open book.

I would like to use my solid four years of Twilight knowledge to point out that Bella Swan is not an open book, she’s a lying liar who lies about things, even though she says all the time that she doesn’t like lying. She was always going on about how she fakes her emotions for the benefits of others, she is not an open book at all.

The reason she was upset was because she thought I saw through her too easily.

And, of course, Weirdo eats this shit right the fuck up.

"I find you very difficult to read." "You must be a good reader then,"

This exchange didn’t make sense in Twilight, and it still doesn’t make sense here. Unless Bella is being sarcastic based on her previous statement, the exchange just... isn’t good. And it’s pretty clear that Bella isn’t being sarcastic. So. Explain it, someone, pls.

Emmett still deserves a better book than this one. He is literally out here like ‘Everyone makes mistakes, Eddie boy.’ But we are still talking about murder here, so... 

And that’s chapter two. I didn’t mean to do it all in one long post, but I couldn’t really see a good break in it to cut it in half. The human bashing is already getting worse and it’s making me annoyed. As you can probably tell from the Cap Locks. We get the first glimpse of Eddie being ‘protective’ that we know is gonna get creepy and paternal as the story goes along. And I know that SM was going for an old timey thing with Eddie, but Bella’s inner monologue was really dry and boring, and Weirdo is even worse in that area. Yet again, we see the First Person POV slipping. Little things that just don’t work in Eddie’s head.

Join me tomorrow for more, and thanks for reading along. 

[mytwilightimagines13]

Size doesn’t matter, buddy (Felix Volturi) part 2

Word count: 2039 You made your flight with mere seconds to spare, and then the true torture began. The plane sat idle on the tarmac while the flight attendants strolled so casually up and down the aisle, patting the bags in the overhead compartments to make sure everything fit. The pilots leaned out of the cockpit, chatting with them as they passed. Alice's hand was placed on Bella’s shoulder, holding her in her seat while she bounced anxiously up and down. "It's faster than running," she reminded her in a low voice. Bella just nodded in time with her bouncing, making you roll her eyes. Humans, you never fully got them anymore. 

At last the plane rolled lazily from the gate, building speed with a gradual steadiness. Alice lifted the phone on the back of the seat in front of her before you'd stopped climbing, turning her back on the stewardess who eyed her with disapproval. Something about Bella’s expression stopped the stewardess from coming over to protest, making you chuckle. “If looks could kill, right Bella?” you said, giving her a playful smirk, earning you a glare from the human. You chuckled louder and held your hands up in defence, turning your head to look outside the window, listening to what Alice was murmuring to Jasper. "I can't be sure, I keep seeing him do different things, he keeps changing his mind. A killing spree through the city, attacking the guard, lifting a car over his head in the main square, mostly things that would expose them. He knows that's the fastest way to force a reaction." You rolled your eyes. Really? There was nothing more original he could do? "No, you can't." Alice's voice dropped till it was nearly inaudible. "Tell Emmett no. Well, go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them back. Think about it, Jasper. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?" She nodded. "Exactly. I think Bella is the only chance, if there is a chance I'll do everything that can be done, but prepare Carlisle; the odds aren't good." She laughed then, and there was a catch in her voice. "I've thought of that. Yes, I promise." Her voice became pleading. "Don't follow me. I promise, Jasper. One way or another, I'll get out. And I love you." She hung up, and leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed. "I hate lying to him." "Tell me everything, Alice," Bella begged. "I don't understand. Why did you tell Jasper to stop Emmett, why can't they come help us?" "Two reasons," she whispered, her eyes still closed. "The first I told him. We could try to stop Edward ourselves if Emmett could get his hands on him, we might be able to stop him long enough to convince him you're alive. But we can't sneak up on Edward. And if he sees us coming for him, he'll just act that much faster. He'll throw a car through a wall or something, and the Volturi will take him down. "That's the second reason of course, the reason I couldn't say to Jasper. Because if they're there and the Volturi kill Edward, they'll fight them. Bella." She opened her eyes and stared at Bella, beseeching. "If there were any chance we could win if there were a way that the five of us could save my brother by fighting for him, maybe it would be different. But we can't, and, Bella, I can't lose Jasper like that." You bit your lip. Even though you were the strongest of the Cullens, even stronger than Emmett, you knew you didn’t stand a chance against their other gifts. Bella truly was the only way to save your brother. Alice was protecting Jasper, at your expense, and maybe at Edward's, too. Bella nodded. "Couldn't Edward hear you, though.'" She asked. "Wouldn't he know, as soon as he heard your thoughts, that I was alive, that there was no point to this?" "If he were listening," she explained. "But believe it or not, it's possible to lie with your thoughts. If you had died, I would still try to stop him. And I would be thinking 'she's alive, she's alive' as hard as I could. He knows that." Bella grounded her teeth in mute frustration. "If there were any way to do this without you, Bella, I wouldn't be endangering you like this. It's very wrong of me.” "Don't be stupid. I'm the last thing you should be worrying about." Bella shook her head impatiently. "Tell me what you meant, about hating to lie to Jasper." Alice smiled a grim smile. "I promised him I would get out before they killed me, too. It's not something I can guarantee not by a long shot." She raised her eyebrows. "Who are these Volturi?" Bella demanded in a whisper. "What makes them so much more dangerous than Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, (Y/N) and you?" You took a deep breath, deciding to mend into the conversation, while Alice abruptly levelled a dark glance over Bella’s shoulder. You turned in time to see the man in the aisle seat looking away as if he wasn't listening to us. He appeared to be a businessman, in a dark suit with a power tie and a laptop on his knees. While Bella stared at him with irritation, he opened the computer and very conspicuously put headphones on. Bella leaned closer to you. Your lips were at her ears as you breathed the story, trying to not be distracted by the blood that flowed through her veins, which made the fire in your throat burn.

"I was surprised that you recognized the name," you said. "That you understood so immediately what it meant when Alice said he was going to Italy. I thought we would have to explain. How much did Edward tell you?" You asked. "He just said they were an old, powerful family like royalty. That you didn't antagonize them unless you wanted to die," she whispered. "You have to understand," you said, your voice slower, more measured now. "We Cullens are unique in more ways than you know. It's abnormal for so many of us to live together in peace. It's the same for Tanya's family in the north, and Carlisle speculates that abstaining makes it easier for us to be civilized, to form bonds based on love rather than survival or convenience. Even James's little coven of three was unusually large and you saw how easily Laurent left them. Our kind travel alone, or in pairs, as a general rule. Carlisle's family is the biggest in existence, as far as I know, with the one exception. The Volturi.” You said, watching Alice closely for any signs any of the other humans tried to listen in on the conversation. “There were three of them originally, Aro, Caius, and Marcus." You continued. "I've seen them," Bella mumbled. "In the picture in Carlisle's study." You nodded. "Two females joined them over time, and the five of them make up the family. I'm not sure, but I suspect that their age is what gives them the ability to live peacefully together. They are well over three thousand years old. Or maybe it's their gifts that give them extra tolerance. Like Edward and Alice, Aro and Marcus are talented." You continued before Bella could ask. "Or maybe it's just their love of power that binds them together. Royalty is an apt description." "But if there are only five." "Five that make up the family," you corrected. "That doesn't include their guard." Bella took a deep breath. "That sounds serious." "Oh, it is," you assured her. "There were nine members of the guard that were permanent, the last time we heard. Others are more transitory. It changes. And many of them are gifted as well with formidable gifts, gifts that make what Alice can do look like a parlour trick. The Volturi chose them for their abilities, physical or otherwise." Bella opened her mouth, and then closed it. "They don't get into too many confrontations. No one is stupid enough to mess with them. They stay in their city, leaving only as duty calls." "Duty?" Bella wondered. "Didn't Edward tell you what they do?" you asked, wondering how much your brother actually told the human sitting next to you. "No," Bella said, a blank expression on her face. Alice looked over Bella’s head again, toward the businessman, nodding towards you to keep on talking. "There's a reason he called them royalty the ruling class. Over the millennia, they have assumed the position of enforcing our rules which actually translates to punishing transgressors. They fulfil that duty decisively." Bella’s eyes popped wide with shock. "There are rules?" she asked in a voice that was too loud. "Shh!" Alice said. "Shouldn't somebody have mentioned this to me earlier?" Bella whispered angrily. "I mean, I wanted to be a- to be one of you! Shouldn't somebody have explained the rules to me?" You chuckled once at her reaction. "It's not that complicated, Bella. There's only one core restriction and if you think about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself." You said, letting her think about it for a moment. "Nope, I have no idea." You groaned in annoyance. She was supposed to be clever. Cleary not. "Maybe it's too obvious. We just have to keep our existence a secret." Alice explained, clearly having more patience than you did at the moment. "Oh," Bella mumbled. "It makes sense, and most of us don't need policing," you continued. "But, after a few centuries, sometimes one of us gets bored. Or crazy. I don't know. And then the Volturi step in before it can compromise them, or the rest of us." You continued. "So Edward-" "Is planning to flout that in their own city the city they've secretly held for three thousand years, since the time of the Etruscans. They are so protective of their city that they don't allow hunting within its walls. Volterra is probably the safest city in the world from vampire attack at the very least." You filled in. "But you said they didn't leave. How do they eat?" Bella asked. "They don't leave. They bring in their food from the outside, from quite far away sometimes. It gives their guard something to do when they're not out annihilating mavericks. Or protecting Volterra from exposure." "From situations like this one, like Edward," Bella finished yout sentence. "I doubt they've ever had a situation quite like this," Alice muttered, disgusted. "You don't get a lot of suicidal vampires." The sound that escaped out of Bella’s mouth was very quiet, but Alice seemed to understand that it was a cry of pain. She wrapped her thin, strong arm around her shoulders, while you leant back against your seat, watching the clouds pass by. "We'll do what we can, Bella. It's not over yet." "Not yet." "And the Volturi will get us if we mess up." Alice stiffened. "You say that like it's a good thing." Bella shrugged. "Knock it off, Bella, or we're turning around in New York and going back to Forks." You threatened. "What?" Bella shrieked. "You know what. If we're too late for Edward, I'm going to do my damnedest to get you back to Charlie, and I don't want any trouble from you. Do you understand that?" Alice threatened, knowing what you were doing. "Sure, Alice." Alice pulled back slightly so that she could glare at Bella. "No trouble." "Scout's honor," Bella muttered. I rolled my eyes. "Let me concentrate, now. I'm trying to see what he's planning." Alice said letting her head fall back against the seat and closed her eyes. She pressed her free hand to the side of her face, rubbing her fingertips against her temple. The minutes passed, and if you didn't know better, it would have seemed as if she'd fallen asleep. After an eternity, the plane began to descend toward New York City. Alice remained in her trance. Bella dithered, reaching out to touch her, only for you to pull her hand back again. This happened a dozen times before the plane touched down with a jarring impact.

[jilyyall]

Animal Magnetism - Ch 8.

Edward Cullen was not a normal teenager; of that I was certain. But knowing that did nothing to stop the pull I felt towards him. And if what he was saying was any indication, he felt some strange pull towards me, too. It was like we were magnets struggling against hope to stay apart. I only wondered what would happen when we inevitably collided.

Chapter 8. Into the Light. Fanfiction.net / AO3 Intro/1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/

He pulled away as fast as lightning when there was barely a hairsbreadth between our lips, and was standing in front of me before I realized he had even moved.

"Your friends," he said quietly, an unreadable expression on his face.

I turned my head just as the movie theatre door opened and my friends spilled out into the night.

"Right," I said, disappointed and humiliated and feeling foolishly rejected. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Bella," Edward said as I started to stand. "It's not that I don't… want you. You know I do."

"You want my blood," I said, turning towards him but not quite meeting his eyes. "It's different. It's okay."

"No, not only," he assured me. "It's just that I don't think you and I should push your friends much further tonight."

You and I. I liked the sound of that. My heart kicked into overdrive again; I cleared my throat and nodded.

"Sensible," I said.

"Bella!" Jessica called, and Edward and I both turned to see her waving us over.

When I stood, I wobbled and nearly fell over. Edward caught my arm to steady me and I breathed out a shaky laugh. I watched the concern fade from his eyes as amusement bled into them when he realized I was unsteady because of him, not out of fear, but trembling with want.

"I've got you, Bella," Edward promised, and kept a firm grip on me until we drew level with Jessica, Mike, and Angela. They were the only ones waiting on us; the others had all wandered off in the other direction.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Mike asked, looking from me to Edward to Edward's jacket wrapped around me, and his hand on my arm.

"Yeah, I'm just really tired all of a sudden," I lied. Truthfully, I was so keyed up I could hardly control my body.

"Well, we were just thinking of grabbing something to eat really quick and then heading home. Is that okay?" Angela asked, concern flitting across her face.

"Yeah, that's fine. Let's go," I said, and started to walk with Mike, Jess, and Angela after the rest of the group who had already started walking down to the restaurant. Edward's hand slid from my arm, and I turned to see that he wasn't following. Right. He didn't eat food.

"Actually, Bella, if you're that tired, I could just bring you home," Edward said, watching me intently. "If you'd like."

The others turned to look at us, Mike with a frown and Angela and Jess with awe. I was very aware of their eyes on me as I bit my lip.

"Oh, yeah, that would actually be really great," I said. No way was I skipping out on a chance to spend more time with him. "Thank you, Edward."

"It's not a problem," he said and I had to admire the fact that he didn't look away from me; his expression didn't falter even though I knew my friends must have been thinking some pretty awkward things about us, and so loudly he probably felt like they were shouting them at him.

"Are you sure, Bella?" Mike said, coming to stand right next to me. He looked more concerned than jealous, and I reminded myself to be thankful that I had a friend who was willing to make sure I wasn't doing something I was uncomfortable with. "I can bring you home."

"No, Mike, it's fine. Really. Thanks," I said, glancing back at Edward, who was now looking at Mike with an expression that was equally amused and annoyed. "I'm not really that hungry, and I'm sure you guys are starving. Edward was just saying how he ate right before he met us here, anyway."

"Okay, well I'll see you at school tomorrow, Bella," Jessica said with a pointed look that told me I was in for an uncomfortable grilling. She hooked her arm through Angela's and began to pull her away. "Mike, come on."

"Goodnight, Bella, Edward," Angela said, with a knowing smile, then she and Jessica ran off after the others, giggling.

Mike didn't follow them immediately, and Edward moved further down the block, hearing in Mike's thoughts some need for privacy, I was sure.

"I'll take you home, Bella," he said earnestly. "You don't have to go with him."

"I want to go with Edward, Mike," I spoke quietly for Mike's benefit only; Edward, of course, heard every word I said and every thought Mike had about them. I was trying not to be annoyed with him now. I really did think he was mostly just trying to be a good friend. There was no way he would push his feelings on me again so soon after I'd told him off for doing just that. "Go catch up with Jess."

I turned to join Edward, only glancing back once I was standing in front of him to see that Mike was trudging along after the others with his hands in his pockets.

"What happened to not pushing them any further?" I said quietly.

"I'm being very bad," Edward admitted with a small, unapologetic smile. "Newton's thoughts were annoying me. He doesn't like me one bit."

I knew that already, obviously, but it was a different thing to hear Edward say it out loud, to pick the negative thoughts right out of Mike's head and feel stung, in some small way, by them and react. It seemed a distinctly teenage-boy action.

"Where's your car?" I asked, deciding that I didn't want to address Mike's unfavorable opinion of Edward because that would inevitably lead to his too-favorable opinion of me.

"It's further this way," he said, gesturing with a small nod, and I started walking back the way we had come from, in the opposite direction that the others were walking. He caught my elbow again and turned me back to face him. "Bella, he's right not to like me. You shouldn't like me."

"But I do, Edward," I said earnestly. "I know you think you're not good for me, but if you really thought I was in danger with you, or from you, you wouldn't have repeatedly promised you wouldn't hurt me tonight. You wouldn't be doing this right now. I do like you, Edward, and for some reason you like me and I'm sure it's not going to be the easiest situation in the world for either of us, but what are we going to do? Pretend we don't feel what we feel?"

"No, I don't think I can manage that any longer," Edward admitted. "I'm sorry, Bella, I am trying. It just might take me a little while to remember."

"Remember what?" I asked.

"That I'm not locking you out anymore," he told me.

"Oh, that." I turned and started to walk again. I smirked. "Don't worry, I'll remind you."

I was watching him out of the corner of my eye, so I saw him smile at that, though he didn't say anything. In silence, we walked a block past the bench we'd been sitting on before, and I spotted a familiar silver Volvo on a side street. When I started to turn towards it, he held me back.

"Did you actually want to go home or are you hungry?" he asked.

I considered for a moment. I hadn't eaten since this morning, but with all the excitement of having my suspicions confirmed by Jacob, and then by Edward, I hadn't even felt hungry. Now that he mentioned it, I was ravenous.

"I am a little hungry," I admitted. "But I can wait until I get home. It would be rude to... hey!"

He turned me sharply to the right and steered me down the street away from his car before I could finish speaking.

"It doesn't bother me, Bella," he told me. "It's not rude that you require sustenance."

He led me up a narrow concrete walkway towards a brown wooden door with a small window at eye-level. There were fairy lights surrounding the door, and an Italian phrase in fancy gold lettering carved into the wood. La Bella Italia. The tantalizing aroma of bread, garlic, pasta, and tomatoes hit me the moment Edward touched the door, holding it open and following me inside.

The girl at the hostess stand looked up and did a double take when she saw Edward. It was almost comical the way her eyes went wide and her lips parted just slightly; I knew how she felt. She couldn't have been older than me, with strawberry blond hair and green eyes and a pretty smile that looked flirtatious to my eyes.

"Two, please," Edward said before she could greet us. "Something private."

Her expression fell and settled into what I could only think to call resigned hospitality when she saw me and gave me a quick once-over from my head to my toes. My face was warm as we followed her through the dining room to a small, secluded table for two in the back.

"What are you thinking, Bella?" he asked when she walked away after giving us our menus. He looked pained, and I couldn't tell if it was because he was hungry in his own way, for me, or if he was frustrated that he couldn't just know what I was thinking already.

"When people see you," I said slowly, dropping my gaze to the small, flickering candle between us and twirling the burgundy tablecloth between my fingers, "they don't expect to see someone like me next to you."

"Someone like you?" Edward repeated incredulously. "Bella, look at me."

I did so reluctantly. He was staring at me with the strangest expression on his face; it looked something like wonder. Our waitress came then, interrupted before Edward could say what he had meant to tell me. She looked to be college-age, and was tall and thin with black hair hanging in loose curls to the nape of her neck, and she looked at Edward in that same awestruck way I usually did.

When she asked Edward what he wanted to drink, he looked expectantly at me until she turned to me as well. I ordered a coke.

"Two cokes," Edward amended, and waited until she had walked off to speak again. "Bella, these girls look at you and feel inferior."

"What?" I said, eyeing him in disbelief.

"I told you before: you don't know the effect you have on people. You are beautiful, as your name would suggest," he said, leaning towards me across the table, his voice shifting and taking on a delicate Italian accent. "Bella."

I opened my mouth, but the words got stuck in my throat, so all I could do was shake my head. "You're ridiculous," I said when I could finally speak again, but the words sounded thick to my ears.

Edward leaned back in his seat, smiling softly at me when the waitress came back with our – my two drinks.

"Are you ready to order?" She didn't seem to care or notice that Edward studiously did not pay her a bit of attention while she smiled at him.

"Bella?" he said, and I jumped, glancing at the menu and choosing a dish at random. When the waitress wrote down my order of chicken parmesan and looked at him again, he shook his head before she could speak, never once taking his eyes off me. "Nothing for me, thank you."

"Okay," she said, finally seeming to realize that he wasn't going to entertain her flirtations. "Let me know if you change your mind."

My food arrived quickly and I ate it faster than I remembered ever eating anything in my life. Edward didn't speak, and I assumed he was aware that it would be difficult for me to eat and hold a conversation at the same time. The only reason I didn't try was that I didn't think this was an appropriate place to ask him more the type of questions I had in mind.

"Are you ready to go home?" Edward asked quietly once I was finished eating.

"I'm ready to leave," I corrected. I didn't think I would ever be ready to go home and not be able to see him for hours, not now, not after all that had passed between us tonight. What if he changed his mind while we were apart? What if he didn't entertain my questions or openly return my interest in him tomorrow? What if he disappeared again and I could never find him – never see him – again?

He lifted his hand and our waitress appeared as if he had pulled her out of thin air. I supposed she had been paying close attention to us and he had been aware of her the entire time.

"Can I get you anything at all?" she asked him. I heard the double entendre and ducked my head to hide my smile when Edward's expression didn't change though I knew he had caught it as well, and the thoughts she hadn't spoken.

"I'm ready to pay," he said, and handed her a bill that was already in his hand. "No change."

And then he was standing, walking around the table to come to my side. He put his arm behind me, not quite touching me, his hand hovering centimeters from the small of my back as we walked from the restaurant.

"You didn't have to pay," I said when we walked back out into the cool night. "Here, I'll pay you back."

"Don't be absurd, Bella," he said, and then his hand gripped my wrist to stop me from digging through my bag for money. "It was my pleasure."

My disappointment was singular when he released my arm. We walked slowly to his car and he opened the door for me wordlessly. He was in the driver's seat not a second after he had closed my door. I stared at him, wide-eyed. I hadn't even seen him move. He stared back at me with a blank expression and I got the impression he was testing me, waiting to see how I reacted when he unleashed his abilities.

"Well," I said with a breathless chuckle. "It must be torture to have walk so slowly for my benefit. I'm sorry."

He laughed, mystified, and groaned.

"So unpredictable," he said on a sigh as he started the car and pulled smoothly out into the street. "I hate moving slowly. We all do. But, with you… I find I don't mind walking at your pace with you beside me."

I smiled softly to myself, my hands folded in my lap, as he turned onto the highway.

"I didn't mean to push you earlier," I said after a moment, referring to the almost-kiss. I was certain he knew what I meant. "I won't do it again. I promise."

"It's alright," Edward said, turning the steering wheel with one hand, the other resting on the gear shift between us, close enough that I could stretch my pinky out and touch him if I dared. "We both survived."

I ducked my head and cursed mentally when my cheeks went warm. I could feel his eyes on me, and knew he could scent the blood pooling in my face. He groaned. "Please, Bella. What are you thinking?"

"I was just wondering…" I said, and took a deep breath to steel myself. "Do you think… is that something we might be able to accomplish? Some day?"

"A kiss?" Edward said, and looked at me fully then, took his eyes right off the road and studied me for a full five seconds. I had no doubt that he was in full control of the car, though. I nodded, my blood pounding in my ears.

"I think I'm stronger than I've given myself credit for," he finally said with a small smile. "I don't see why we couldn't. Some day. With the proper preparation."

He turned the radio on after a moment and some soft, classical piano melody started to play. I was reminded of the sight of him at the piano at school, that day he'd found me in the music room before we'd ever even spoken to each other.

"Did you learn to play piano before or after you were changed?" I asked him.

"Before," he told me, his expression turning contemplative. "Human memories fade if you don't make an effort to retain them, but I recall some things. I remember my parents well enough. They were well off and my father bought my mother a piano as an anniversary gift shortly before I was born – she had a passion and a talent for it and he wanted her to be able to indulge in her passions at home instead of having to go out and find a piano to play – and she taught me how to play when I was young. I didn't have as great a talent for it by the time I died as I do now, of course."

"Of course," I agreed absentmindedly, thinking of him as he would have been back then, a normal seventeen-year-old boy. Would he have been as gorgeous then as he was now? I imagined he couldn't have been quite so alarmingly attractive, but I was certain that he would still have been quite handsome. Perhaps not the type of boy who could turn heads just walking down the street as he did now, but the type of boy you noticed in class, watched out of the corner of your eye, daydreamed about and doodled his last name tacked onto the end of yours.

"Did you follow me?" I said. When he said nothing, just furrowed his brow, I realized I hadn't given enough context. "I mean that day, in the music room. Did you follow me from the cafeteria?"

"Your scent," he admitted. "I waited a few minutes to be sure no one would notice. I wanted to know if I could handle myself better around you before I had to endure an entire class sitting beside you."

"Practical." I nodded.

"I didn't plan to speak to you," he went on. "Not in private like that. Too much temptation, I feared. I was going to wait to introduce myself in class if I decided I could manage it, but you looked up and saw me in the doorway, so I had no choice."

"You scared the hell out of me," I told him.

"I know," he said. "I'm sorry for that."

We were nearing Forks already and I glanced at the dashboard in alarm. He was driving almost double the speed limit. The drive that should have taken us and hour and a half had only taken about forty-five minutes.

"Jesus Christ," I said, looking out the window at the trees flashing past. "You weren't lying when you said you hated to go slow."

"Are you afraid?" he asked and I heard the smile in his voice.

"I mean, I'm sure you're in total control here, but some of us won't walk away in one piece if you wrap this car around a tree," I pointed out, unable to tear my gaze from the scenery flashing by.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said. "I would never allow that to happen."

I believed him, but I found myself unable to hold much of a conversation, distracted as I was by my own mortality. It wasn't until he entered town limits and slowed the car to a more reasonable speed that I was able to clear my head enough to speak.

"I have one more question for you," I said as he guided the car steadily down my street.

"Only the one?" he said with a small smile.

"Well, for tonight," I said. "I'm sure I'll have a whole list tomorrow."

"I'm sure," he laughed.

"You said that you're the oldest, after Carlisle…"

"Well, the oldest of Carlisle's creations," he amended. "Jasper is significantly older than the rest of us, save Carlisle."

"He created you?" I asked, distracted.

"Carlisle created all of us, save Jasper and Alice," Edward said.

"How? When? Why?" I said, curiosity flooding me.

"Tomorrow, if you like," he responded. "The tale may be a bit too long to get through tonight. Your original question?"

"Fine. That's going to be top of my list tomorrow," I said, annoyed with myself for wasting so much time tonight. "Okay, how old are you?"

"I'm seventeen," he said easily.

I frowned at him. "In what year did you turn seventeen?"

"You're asking better questions now, Bella," he said almost proudly, and frowned, turning in his seat to study me. It was only then that I realized we were idling in my driveway. "I'm not sure how you'll take it."

"I haven't run screaming yet, have I?" I said, turning to mirror his posture. "You can trust me, Edward."

"Very well," he said after a moment of contemplation. "I was born in Chicago, Illinois in 1901. In 1918, I was in a hospital dying of the Spanish Influenza when Carlisle found me."

It took me a moment to process that, to do the math. He was one hundred and nineteen years old. He had been a vampire for more than a century. Jasper was significantly older, and Carlisle older still. My mind was spinning. Edward was still watching me, that look on his face I hadn't been able to place earlier. I realized he was nervous… no… anxious for my reaction.

"Wow," I said, forcing a laugh. "You're geriatric."

"Bella," he said, frowning, and I saw the concern in his eyes.

"It's fine, Edward. It doesn't matter," I told him. "It's just one of those things you need to process for a second."

"It doesn't matter?" he repeated incredulously. I wasn't sure if he was aware that he was leaning in closer to me. "I tell you that I'm over a hundred years old and your response is that it doesn't matter?"

"Yes." I shrugged, and I was aware of my actions when I leaned closer to him. "It doesn't change anything, Edward. It doesn't change how I feel."

He stared at me for a long time and this time when he leaned over the center console, I knew that he did so with purpose.

I had promised him that I wouldn't try to kiss him again; it was something he needed to do, a conscious decision he needed to make so he wasn't taken by surprise, and so he could take whatever precautions he felt were necessary. That didn't stop me from wanting to kiss him when he leaned his forehead against mine and inhaled deeply.

"You should go inside, Bella," he whispered quite serenely and pulled away very slowly.

I opened my eyes and saw, in the glow of the distant porch light, that his were black. I wasn't afraid, though. He looked perfectly in control of himself. I smiled and nodded, reluctantly fumbling for the door handle behind my back. I didn't want to take my eyes off him, not when I wasn't sure how long I would have to wait to see him again. Would he find me before school? Or would I have to wait until lunch again? Or would he leave me behind without so much as a warning?

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said with a smile, reaching past me to open the door when it was clear I was struggling.

"Yeah, okay, good night," I mumbled as I stumbled from the car. I rushed up the pathway to the front door; he was still in the driveway when I turned to look over my shoulder, and I could see him laughing at me.

Embarrassed, but happy, I let myself inside and closed the door behind me, leaning up against it to steady myself.

"Bells?" Charlie called from the kitchen.

"Oh, really, Charlie, who else could it be?" I heard Renee say as I walked toward the kitchen. They were at the small, plain kitchen table eating what looked to be very dry baked chicken. My mother was not culinarily gifted.

"Hey," I said with a small smile, stopping in the doorway.

"How was your day, honey?" Renee asked.

"It was good," I said.

"Did you surf?" Charlie asked.

"No. I inherited your balance, remember, Dad?"

"Right."

"Are you hungry?" Renee asked. "There's plenty chicken."

"No!" I said quickly, clearing my throat when Renee looked hurt. Charlie gave me a supportive nod behind her back. "I mean, I ate in Port Angeles."

"Whose jacket is that?" Charlie said suddenly, sharp Police Chief eyes narrowing on the much-too-large leather jacket I was wearing.

"Oh," I said, mentally berating myself for forgetting to return it to him. I wondered if he had realized and knowingly allowed me to walk into my parents' kitchen wearing his jacket. "I left mine in Mike's car and I got cold in the movie and my friend let me borrow his."

"You forgot it again when you got back in the car?" Renee asked with a sly smile.

"Um. Yeah, well... I actually didn't ride home with Mike," I admitted, fingering one of the sleeves nervously. "I was tired and they were going to be out a while longer and Edward was already coming back to town, so I just went with him."

"Edward?" Renee repeated.

"He's just a friend," I said quickly. It was another lie, of course, but my parents didn't need all the details just yet. Well, they were never going to get all of the details, but maybe some day they would get some. "Seriously, please don't do this."

"Edward who?" Charlie said.

"Oh my God. This is not happening." I sighed and turned on my heel. "I'm going to bed."

"Edward who!" Charlie demanded louder, but I was already stomping up the stairs.

"Good night!" I shouted, and heard my mother's triumphant laughter as she tried unsuccessfully to calm my father down.

ffn / AO3

[athena1138]

2 and 7 for the oc ask

Ty sweetie

I’m in a weird mood so I’m gonna just do like... a shitton of ocs for both. (I’ll do DA first) 

What are your OC’s food preferences (flavors/textures/spiciness/calories/ when and how they eat) and how did they get that way?

Missella: She’s a simple woman, not overtly gluttonous or anything. She doesn’t need anything overly fancy to be happy, just some hearty stew is fine. But she does really enjoy lots of flavor. It took some getting used to because she’d been in the Circle all her life, but food on the outside is just. Incredible. She can’t get enough. And when she and Zevran start traveling outside of plain-ass Ferelden? Oh shit. Her mind is just. Blown. At the end of the day though, her comfort food is still simple stuff. Give her some bread and soup and she’s more than happy. 

Mireena: Much like Alistair, she’s all about sweets. And cheese. And boy can she pack it away. She has to learn how to reign it in once she’s queen, but it’s not uncommon for her to be walking around with just a smidge of chocolate on her mouth. The only foods she can’t stand are overly spicy things, and her favorite non-dessert food is her father’s meatloaf. 

Belladonna: She’s one of the more reserved in terms of food. She doesn’t eat a lot, and she’s very slow and careful about it. She was raised like a lady, and though she’s forgotten her lessons over the years, she maintains excellent posture and impeccable table manners (aside from stealing Varric’s food and wine.) But she also goes without quite a bit. It’s not uncommon for her to go off of one or fewer meals a day. She frequently sees other things as more important (i.e., training, research, etc.) She’s fondest of fruits. 

Anna: Anna is a big woman with a big appetite. She loves food. Anything and everything, she’s down. She does have quite a bit of self consciousness regarding it, though, because she’s so large. She struggles with it because she loves food and eating but she doesn’t like standing out, doesn’t like what people say about her. It’s easier when she’s not in public. She cooks big meals for everyone before missions, and she randomly goes over to cook for Fenris or invites him to her home. Big meals, sprawling across the table. Legs of meat, racks of ribs, vegetables galore, fruits, breads. It’s enough to make the Vikings weep with joy. 

Alena: She doesn’t eat much, really. Especially after Adamant, when she’s still recovering, she has to be reminded/forced to eat quite frequently. She’s a little pickier, sometimes. She can’t eat anything on the bone, and she doesn’t like combating textures (like nuts in cookies or pasta not cooked through.) Growing up in the Circle (and unliked in the Circle) and then Kirkwall and the Gallows, she’s learned how to subsist on as little as possible, and that just kind of becomes her norm until she begins settling in with Cullen. He had to teach himself how to eat again, so he teaches her how to eat, and they just sort of help each other stay on top of it. She likes sweets best, especially if they have fruit in them. Chocolate covered cherries are p much the greatest thing she’s ever eaten. And cheese. 

Asena: Another big woman with a big appetite, but she’s ridiculously mannerful. She favors meats and vegetables the most, but she also enjoys a good dessert. (She’s an amazing baker and cake decorator.) 

Val (Castlevania): This bitch loves her some spicy food. She doesn’t eat like.. a LOT. But she eats rather frequently. 

Marynn (DND): She loves everything, but tavern food is her favorite (mostly because she grew up in a tavern.) Give her a soft pretzel and some cheese and watch her become the happiest dwarf you’ve ever met. And she eats a lot when she can, but “when she can” is a very flexible phrase which here means “when she remembers.” 

Theni (DND): She’s huge, man. Tall and ripped as shit. Like. She’s a literal goliath. So she has to eat a lot, loads of proteins and carbs. She likes pastas the most, especially with meatballs. 

Darsys (DND): She’s a soft girl. She’s so quiet and gentle. You’d have no idea looking at her that she can and does eat more than her goliath compatriot both in terms of portions and frequency. Anything and everything she can get her hands on, she’s packing it away. (But like. Not in a gross way, like she’s a very polite eater. She just... takes a minute.) Above all else, though, she enjoys a well-put-together salad. 

Ellie (DND): She eats an average amount, really. 2-3 meals a day, not huge portions. She enjoys fluffy bread best. 

Kria (Outer Worlds): Bruh. She eats... so much. Just. So much. And it’s all candy. 90% of her diet is just. Candy. All day every day. You look into her satchel, half of the weight she has is just fucking wrappers. None of the crew has any idea how she’s alive. 

Morgana (Arcana): Bread and cheese man, that’s all it takes. Morgana isn’t a lavish liver by any means. She enjoys fine foods, but it gets to be too much quite frequently which makes her relationship with Lucio a bit strained at times. She’s such a simple woman, it can be ridiculous. Her favorite food is lamb kadai with rice, cooked at a medium-spicy level.

Neoma (Arcana): Nah. She hates eating. She has so many better things to be doing, she’d rather do them. She’ll eat as little as possible as infrequently as possible. It pisses Portia off to no end. The one food she could eat every week would be fried egg sandwiches, but really that’s like.. it. She just. Hates it. 

Caro (Arcana): Caro’s quite sensible. Her idea of “pigging out” is an extra piece of pumpkin bread every now and then. She’s very natural in her meals--just fruits, vegetables, salads. Not a lot of meats. And she eats a decent amount, maybe 3-4 meals a day just because none of what she eats is very hearty. 

Realistically, could your OC (in their normal circumstances- i.e. at thier own house/battlecamp/spaceship etc.) keep a small child alive for a week if they had to?  A Dog?  A Houseplant? A rock with a  smiley face painted on?

Missella: Oh, yeah, definitely. But would she? That’s the question. She’s not a maternal type. Petruchio is about all she can handle, really. 

Mireena: SHE CAN DAMN WELL TRY! Lysander has faired well thus far. Surely a child couldn’t be too different, could it? (She’ll find out because she and Alistair end up having twin daughters the year after Corypheus’s defeat.) 

Belladonna: Eh.. Ye....ah? She’d really... rather not find out. Caliban is it for her. No babies here, no sirree. *cough except for the elf baby they adopt and then their son when she’s 45 cough*

Anna: She’s dope as shit as a mom, are you kidding? She didn’t want to be one, and she’d never really thought about it before because she’s a mage and mages aren’t allowed to have children, but her daughter is the literal cutest. 

Alena: Oh. God no. Just. No. She’s. No. She can barely keep herself alive let alone something else. No. She doesn’t even really take care of the dogs or cats. Cullen does the dogs and the cats just kinda... come and go as they please, so. No. Please don’t make her responsible for something else again she’s so weak and tired. 

Asena: SHE’LL HATE EVERY MOMENT OF IT BUT GIVE HER ALL OF THE THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF AND SHE ABSOFUCKINLUTELY WILL. 

Val (Castlevania): Yeah, she’s alright. She’s not super maternal, but she’d do the job admirably. 

Marynn (DND): *incoherent laughter*

Theni (DND): I mean. In theory? In practice.....

Darsys (DND): Elven children are pretty hard to fuck up anyways, so, probably. She’s far more comfortable with a plant, though. Preferably a succulent. 

Ellie (DND): Please don’t. She’d probably in all honestly even fail at the rock. 

Kria (Outer Worlds): Same as Ellie. Except worse. Because she’d straight up lose the rock.  

Morgana (Arcana): A... a baby? As in... a... small person? Please no. She’s fine with her animals. A baby is.. no. 

Neoma (Arcana): Bruh she can’t even really take care of herself like what kinda shit--

Caro (Arcana): She’s the type of bitch who like. Goes to orphanages and volunteers to like... read to the children and teaches them how to do shit like read and write and makes them toys in her spare time. She’s almost disgustingly maternal, the kind of girl who definitely had a million baby dolls growing up and who once answered the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” with “A mommy.” She has hella genetic difficulties, though, so she’ll be adopting please. 

[thenightling]

My horror dislikes list

I love horror, particularly Gothic Horror as a genre. However there are certain common types of horror or sub-genres of horror I don’t really care for.  Just because I don’t like it, it doesn’t mean I don’t understand it or can’t appreciate that others might like it.    This is just my personal opinion and I mean no offense to anyone.  And some of what I may list will be controversial to some.   Bear that in mind.  Horror that I don't care for:

1.  This one is probably the most controversial so I’ll list it first. 

Most controversial:  H. P. Lovecraft.   It's not that he is "too wordy" or "long winded." (Never insult me like that.)  It's not that I "don't get it."  It’s not that he uses “archaic language.”  (These are real things people have assumed when I tell them I don’t like Lovecraft).  I just feel he's overrated.  I don't like his antisemitism, which was considered extreme by 1930s American standards.  And I don't like how he's credited with creating certain concepts that weren't really his doing.  His ideas about long sleeping ancient / forgotten Gods or Old Ones can be found as early as Goethe's Faust Part 2, if not earlier.   Other authors that had similar ideas before Lovecraft include George MacDonald, author of Lilith.     Sometimes I like when other people adapt Lovecraft.  I liked Neil Gaiman’s A Study in Emerald.  I liked the origin of Morpheus’ helm in Sandman: Overture (also Neil Gaiman).  I liked the two episodes of The Real Ghostbusters animated series inspired by Lovecraft.  I even like the spoof Lil Cthulhu.  But I’m just not a big fan of actual H. P. Lovecraft. This doesn’t mean I haven’t read it.  Nor does it mean I don’t understand it.  And I do appreciate his influence on pop culture.  I just feel he’s overrated.       2.  I don't like Rob Zombie movies.  It's all the same to me.  Boring, grimy, sweaty, eldgelordy- full of overused modern tropes like flickering lights, jump scares, and "I haven't showered in a month" antagonists.  He sucked the supernatural out of Halloween and there's nothing truly distinct about any of his films.  It's just a style that doesn't appeal to me. 3.   CG.  I love practical effects.  Most CG is lazy, cartoonish, and doesn't look like it's really there.  I know it can look realistic and gorgeous at time but most horror films don’t take that route.  Most horror directors use it lazily. There’s a Night of the Living dead 4 or 5 by the Syfy Channel where a manhole cover is clearly CG.  Why did a manhole cover have to be CG?!  And there’s CG blood in Spartacus: Blood and Sand, which is very distracting because it looks like jello flying at the camera.  The werewolves in An American werewolf in Paris are already dated and very fake looking yet the transformation in An American Werewolf in London still gets to people today.  The werewolves in An American werewolf in Paris didn't even look real by 90s standards.  They looked like beasts that escaped Who Framed Roger Rabbit.   In the Fright Night remake there's a scene where a windshield shatters in front of Amy's face and she screams on que but she doesn't flinch or blink, making it very clear the glass isn't really there.  Had it been sugar glass or ice to give the effect, there would have been a natural flinch.  I feel practical effects, if you can't guess how it was done, can be more unnerving and the reactions seem more real.  That's why some 80s fantasy is more unnerving for kids than some modern horror.    4.  Jump scares.  Jump scares are lazy.  Being startled is not the same as being afraid.  And when they add a musical chord to accompany the scare it's like idiot proofing ot say "This is where you should react."   The only jump scare that ever worked on me was when I was twelve-years-old watching Interview with the vampire.  Louis says "It's the carriage." and he goes down to the door. And you know damn good and well it's not the carriage.  He opens the door, there's no one there.   You know it's coming, but when he turns his head and Lestat's hand grabs his throat, I jumped the first time I saw that.  I knew it was coming.  But I still jumped.   To me a good scare is when it creeps in and crawls under your skin. When I was watching Let the Right One In I remembered thinking “Ah, this isn’t so scary.” and it was at the part where Eli climbs up the side of the hospital.  It was snowy outside, just as it was in the movie, and late at night.  And at that moment the power went out. For a split second (It was only a second) I thought “Oh, crap!  Vampire child’s gonna get me!”   And I was a grown woman in 2008.  I was twenty-six-years-old. Another incident that made me realize just how scary Gothic horror truly is was when I was watching a History Channel show about the real Castle Dracula.  And it mentioned the locals seeing mysterious lights and noises up in the castle so some priests were sent to bless the place.  A storm came in suddenly and the priests had to do the blessing from a distance.  (This was Poenari castle, not Bran.  Bran is used for tourists.  Poenari is where Vlad spent most of his time but it’s considered unsafe).  And as I watched this I remembered that storm summoning was supposed to be one of the vampire Dracula’s powers. At that moment the door creaked open And I practically leapt out of my skin.   That’s when I knew Dracula is actually scary.

I also had a nightmare once about being a werewolf in the style of The wolfman. In the dream I blacked out during the transformation and then suddenly it was hours or a day later and I knew I must have done something terrible and I found loved ones slaughtered.   I remember the guilt in that dream and I knew The Wolfman had reached me on a level most horror doesn’t, on a fear of what it must be like to be like him.           My most recent experience with a truly good sense of my skin crawling horror was watching an episode of DC Universe's Swamp Thing. A child is possessed with the ghost of Abby Arcane's dead childhood friend.   She's been singing their old song and acting ...well, weird.   "If you're her than prove it?"  She is smiling menacingly.  It looks like she'll do nothing.  Abby turns to walk away.  This is where most jump scares happen.  But it doesn't.  As she nears the door it slams shut but that isn't the end of it.  It's not just a stupid psych out jump scare the way most horror movies do now.  Instead the whole atmosphere of the room changes.  Everything becomes damp.  The lighting dims.   Everything becomes slightly off-kilter or "wrong" like in a nightmare.  It was so atmospheric, so spooky... It was the best Gothic horror moment I had seen in literally years.  I had goosebumps.  5.   The polarization of vampire fiction triggered by the Twilight fad.  Thankfully this is dying now.   But for a while vampires were divided into two styles.  The broody, whiny emo, or the mindless killing machine AKA "the Shark with legs."   I missed the balance of charming and charismatic, but also predatory.  I missed the likes of Frank Langella as Dracula and Chris Sarandon as Jerry Dandridge. The Fright Night remake was disappointing for this reason.  I hate that vampires rarely shapeshift now.  I hate the nerfing of their powers.   And I hate that Jerry's human-side was erased as a reactionary response to be anti-Twilight.   It ruined the remake for me.  6.   Ghosts that movie like a broken VHS tape.  The jerking movement ghosts of ghosts that suddenly flicker or spasm and suddenly are a few stepped forward without actually moving...  This works in Ringu / The Ring because she IS a damaged VHS tape but in other ghost stories it doesn't really work for me.  it takes me out of the story and I notice it's following a trend. 7.    Torture porn.   Pity, and gross-out is not fear.  It's like how that game show / reality show  "Fear Factor" confused fear with disgust. "eat these random cow pies" isn't fear, folks.   Actually Torture porn kind of bores me . I don't feel fear.  It's just drawn out mutilation and torture.  I may feel pity for the character or be disgusted by the graphic mutilations but I'm not afraid of it.  And it's lazy and cheap.  8.   Next on Lazy and cheap...  Found footage.  I HATE found footage movies.   Shaky cam and screams into a camera don't do it for me.  And they all feel the same.    9.   Most Zombie Apocalypse movies.  Most recent Zombie apocalypse movies bore me.    There are a few exceptions like the original Night of the Living Dead, which, at the time it was made was unique and atmospheric but many zombie films attempt to imitate it and it becomes bland and formulaic.   I also liked Return of the Living Dead because it was one of the first Zombie Apocalypse movies.  It hadn’t yet become dull and predictable to me that everyone huddles together and it becomes more and more futile until there is no one left or it’s utterly hopeless.  And so as things became repetitive I started to dislike the ‘zombie apocalypse genre.”   Exceptions include Night of the Living Dead and Return of the Living Dead.  I also like the original White Zombie and I walked with a Zombie but those are pre-Zombie Apocalypse.   There are a few zombie films I like that aren’t that scary but I like them because they are different.  Those include “My boyfriend’s back.”  (Daddy, I love him!”  “He’s a zombie, you freakin’ idiot!”  I love that line).    And Warm Bodies.   And please don’t use Warm Bodies to discredit my status as a horror fan.  I just like it because it’s different.  First, R isn’t that bad of a protagonist.  He’s more well developed than Edward Cullen and he spends half the movie eating the brains of the dead boyfriend of the girl he’s pining for, carrying bits of brain in his pocket.  There’s no sugar coating that.   Also it’s one of the few zombie apocalypse movies to have a happy ending.  Yeah, it’s sappy and a bit hamhanded bu tit has a sweet message.  Sometimes it’s okay to like sweet.

 10.   Remakes that suck the supernatural out of a supernatural story.  I’m tired of gritty.  I’m tired of “grounded in reality.”  The supernatural is scary because it is unknown.  In the case of Child’s Play, a hacked AI doesn’t seem as creepy to me as a soul of a serial killer seeking a new host body. Also the cynical part of me suspects the “grounding in reality” is a direct ploy to get a release in China, which does not like supernatural content in American import movies. This is part of why Disney / Marvel has been downplaying Marvel’s supernatural side.  I miss supernatural horror.   I’m tired of remakes literally sucking out the soul.  

11. Bonus: Anything based on a “true case” by The Warrens.  I believe in the paranormal.   I respect paranormal research but The Warrens were known con artists, even among paranormal researchers.   If you look at most of their haunted house cases there’s a particular formula.  Woman moves into dream home with loving, Catholic family. Weird things slowly start to happen. The husband is skeptical / getting possessed.  The wife goes to the church for help.  The priests can’t help or nothing happens in front of them.   Desperate she attends a Warrens lecture.  Never fear, The Warrens are here!  And lo’ and behold, the house is full of demons!  Demons only The Warrens know how to Handle.  This happens in The Haunted (Not to be confused with The Haunting), it happens in Gave Secrets: the story of Black Hope Cemetery and pretty much every other haunted house story they got involved in.   They made book and TV movie deals and later bigger Hollywood movie deals.  Now half the horror and Parapsychology world thinks they were demonology heroes and not the con artists who once ‘exorcised a werewolf” (Look it up.)  I am not a fan of The Warrens.

[darlingrutherford]

Lana - 2, 6, 16, 25, 32, 48; Sarya - 3, 5, 9, 15, 21, 26, 35; Frederick - 7, 12, 18, 24, 30, 42, 49. Sorry, that's a lot but your babies are so fascinating!)

@liveinthehills​ asgjkhkjshg thank you so much for all the asks!

From the Super Detailed Questions About Your OCs list

For Lana Surana-

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Hero of Ferelden and Champion of Redcliffe are really the only two titles Lana has received (the obvious ones, from saving Redcliffe during the Blight and ending the Blight itself). Lana never becomes the Warden Commander of Ferelden, wishing instead to focus on assisting the wardens rebuild after the Blight with Alistair's help, rather than lead them. Alistair likes to refer to her as the Goddess of Ferelden, and does so often that at least a handful of people in Ferelden actually think that it must be the correct title.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Lana was very studious inside the Ferelden Circle. She enjoys quietly reading on her own, and spent a lot of time reading up on various magical theories as well as Andrastian history. She wasn't very fond of hands-on studies, not being too keen on casting spells even though she was very good at it. Irving would have had her take her Harrowing at a much younger age because of how quickly she grasped onto knowledge and magical skills, but her hesitancy to use them was what held her as an apprentice until she was 18.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

Once she leaves the Circle, Lana collects a tiny rock from each place they visit. The first one she collects is from the shore of the Circle. She does this as a reminder of where she came from, where she's been, and as a reminder of everything that's happened. She keeps them in a small pouch at her side. 

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Lana adores Alistair's sense of humor. She's been through a lot herself, so she can appreciate the self deprecation of his humor. Lana may not have the worldly experience to get some jokes, but she can feel the levity emotion of the situation and enjoys hearing people's laughter more than anything. She doesn't crack many jokes herself, although when she does they're usually rather sarcastic. 

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

In the Circle, Lana tended to gravitate towards mage robes that had purples or blues in them, same for her nightgowns. After leaving the Circle, Lana wears the blue grey warden mage armor. Because of her height, most armor tends to be much too long on her and she ends up having to modify it, so she doesn't stray much from that uniform. She has a long tunic she never took in that she wears to sleep, although once she and Alistair start sharing a tent all the time, she either steals one of his clean tunics or otherwise they go without. Lana's hair is red (think very bright copper), and straight. It's to the middle of her back, and she always wears it in a tight French braid that begins near her left temple and ends at the right at her neck. It's a habit she still clings to of when her mother would do her hair growing up.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

Lana's a bit nervous around large groups of people. She has a bit of trauma related to being attacked for being a mage, so she's always worried of how people will react to her if she doesn't know them. With her friends, however, tight knit celebrations are something she can enjoy. She's had to be dragged into a few she definitely didn't want to attend (a status such as Hero of Ferelden will do that), but her fear of disappointing someone overrides her fear of being judged.

For Sarya Lavellan-

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

Sarya enjoyed her childhood very much. Growing up without her parents, Keeper Deshanna raised Sarya to be kind and groomed her for a role of leadership at an early age. Sarya took to it with stride, really enjoying everything she learned and the opportunity to be an asset to her clan at such a young age. Her fondest memories are of the harvests she would participate in, as well as all the times she would sneak out at night to explore the Free Marches (sometimes alone, sometimes with her close friend Shala). A more bad memory would be when her clan visited Wycome for trading. Sarya witness a young child burning himself on a forge, and so she quickly helped cool his hand by dunking a cloth in a bucket of water and freezing the cloth with a bit of ice magic. The kid was excited at the show of magic and grateful, but the adults around became concerned and alerted the Chantry about her. Even though the Chantry has an understanding with the Dalish’s ways of having a few mages in one clan, they sent a couple of templars to investigate anyway. They confronted her in the forest outside of Wycome, but ultimately left without incident. Sarya is convinced that, if she hadn't been with a group of their hunters at the time, she would have been carted off to a Circle. This experience grew a small fear of humans for her that nagged at her mind for a small while when she was brought to Haven.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

Sarya was an only child, so no siblings for her. She is very close with a lot of people in her clan, though, and thinks of them as siblings. Renan is the most prominent one, since he's always been one to stay close to her and want to protect her. Her relationship with him became strained once his feelings for her grew into more than friendship, feelings which she never returned. I'll leave it at that, since it effects her in ways that would spoil later chapters of To Weather the Storm ;)

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

I like to joke that Sarya is my “Disney Princess” OC. She gets on incredibly well with animals, and they seem to be drawn to her calm demeanor. The halla that traveled with her clan always knew they could find a treat in her pocket, and it's not uncommon for her to be able to calmly talk herself out of a bad situation with a bear, something that catches Cassandra entirely off guard in the Hinterlands.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Sarya enjoys cooking. She's good at taking what she has on hand and making something edible out of it. Because of this, she's usually the one who ends up preparing food at the campsite with her companions, and she does it gladly. After the time they let Varric make the stew, she now offers her services first thing.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Sarya has the patience of a saint, but she absolutely loses her temper when she's pushed too far. She never screams or throws things, but she's not above yelling and pointing her finger. Cullen knows better than anyone, having been at the end of her temper a few times just because of how stubborn he can be, always in cases of him not taking care of himself or not allowing her to help him (most commonly with his lyrium withdrawals).

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Sarya hums when she's happy, and smiles a lot. She wears her emotions on her sleeve when she's in a good mood. If they get a few drinks in her (or one or two particularly strong ones), she's a very happy drunk and will spend a lot of time singing and dancing with a bright smile on her face.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

Sarya loves sweets. This would probably be considered an unguilty pleasure, since she does nothing to hide the fact, so much so that it's not uncommon for nobles to send sweets along with their letters in hopes of gaining the Inquisitor’s favor (her favorite are the hard cookies with orange zest dipped in chocolate that Gaspard sends with his correspondence). As for a guilty pleasure, Sarya has secretly read one of two of Varric's books in her spare time when no one is looking. She never had access to romance books like them, and finds herself quite engrossed in the stories.

For Frederick Trevelyan-

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

Frederick's parents had him spend a lot of his time studying, so he didn't have a lot of close friends growing up. He did have a friend, Caleb, whom he considered his closest friend growing up, though they grew apart once Caleb settled down. 

12. What is their favourite food?

Frederick would never admit it to his parents, but he's a sucker for Orlesian cuisine. He loves the sweetness of their foods, preferring it to the more lightly seasoned vegetables and meat one gets in Ferelden. Frederick isn't vegetarian by any sense, but he does tend to gravitate towards vegetables and fruit over meat. He's especially fond of carrots that have been glazed with honey.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Frederick loves poetry. He and Cassandra have been known to sneak off together to read aloud with one another, just two friends enjoying a romantic prose. He has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to Ferelden history, but he had to study so much of it as a kid that his reading of it is more out of habit than anything.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Frederick sleeps like the dead. Once he's out, he either needs to wake up on his own or else be shaken awake. He doesn't move much in his sleep, although Dorian will often shove him over onto his side to stop the snoring that ensues when he's on his back. He definitely prefers a softer mattress, and eagerly returns to his bed after a week with his bedroll on the hard ground.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Frederick does yoga every morning. It's a ritual to him, something his mother encouraged from a young age to calm his high energy. If he's unable to do it he's off for the day: he'll be a bit less level headed than usual, antsy, and turning a few heads as he runs back and forth across Skyhold trying to busy himself. Frederick still has quite a bit of energy even after his morning routine, but it grounds him and allows him to take the day a bit more slow.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Frederick only wants to do his family and the Maker proud. He feels a bit of guilt, knowing that he can never make them happy in the way they had imagined before he came out, and works his hardest to make them proud in other ways. After being with Dorian, this extends to him as well. He realizes that family isn't only blood, and he finds himself wanting to do everything he can to make Dorian proud of him. Frederick would sacrifice anything for the safety of others. It makes him reckless, but it's something he feels very passionate about. As far as secret ambitions, Frederick does want a family, although he isn't sure how that will play out with the path that was given to him.

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Frederick was never sentimental before. After Trespasser, the message crystal Dorian gifts him becomes his most prized possession. With Solas’ threat and everything Dorian has to take care of in Tevinter, they have to be apart for some time, but Frederick always keeps the message crystal close to his heart and converses with Dorian multiple times a day.

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 4 February 2019

Quick Bits:

Archie #702 sees Sandy Jarrell and Matt Herms pitch in for much of this issue as Betty and Veronica try to figure out who Archie’s seeing now. It goes about as well as you’d expect. Nick Spencer is still delivering some humorous dialogue and the opening sequence from Marguerite Sauvage is as beautiful as ever.

| Published by Archie Comics

Archie 1941 #5 is pretty heavy, dealing with the the grief, remorse, and emotional devastation of loss experienced during the war. Peter Krause and Kelly Fitzpatrick’s artwork has been wonderful throughout this entire series and they nail the conclusion.

| Published by Archie Comics

Avengers #14 sparks the fuse of the vampire civil war from Jason Aaron, David Marquez, Justin Ponsor, Erick Arciniega, and Cory Petit. There’s some really nice world-building going on here with the Legion of the Unliving and a rather interesting development with Ghost Rider.

| Published by Marvel

Batman #64 begins “The Price” crossover with The Flash from Joshua Williamson, Guillem March, Tomeu Morey, and Steve Wands. Outside of the tie-ins throughout the DC titles, I haven’t been reading Heroes in Crisis, but this ties in as well, spotlighting some of the strain that Batman and the Flash have been under. Something definitely feels off about the situation.

| Published by DC Comics

BPRD: The Devil You Know #13 feels like shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic at this point, with all of the pieces moving into place, and we’re just awaiting the inevitable end of everything. Stunning artwork from Laurence Campbell and Dave Stewart.

| Published by Dark Horse

Champions #2 fills in the hole of what happened during the battle with Zzzax last issue and, boy, is it a doozy. Jim Zub, Steven Cummings, Marcio Menyz, and Clayton Cowles set up something interesting, and possibly horrifying, to come down the line.

| Published by Marvel

Conan the Barbarian #3 maintains its high bar of excellence as the one-off stories building up Conan’s past continue from Jason Aaron, Mahmud Asrar, Matthew Wilson, and Travis Lanham. The art from Asrar and Wilson is just perfect.

| Published by Marvel

The Curse of Brimstone #11 is the beginning of the end in the first of this two-part finale for the series from Justin Jordan, Denys Cowan, John Stanisci, Rain Beredo, and Wes Abbott. It’s great to see Cowan’s art here as he, Stanisci, and Beredo make the beginning of this final fight look absolutely gorgeous.

| Published by DC Comics

Daredevil #1 is a very impressive debut from Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto, Sunny Gho, and Clayton Cowles. It picks up from Matt’s recovery in Man Without Fear and, well, things are messy, unfocused, and he’s having a hell of a time getting his feet under him again. But, beyond that, there’s a real depth to the story here. Though there’s a ton of action, it also goes deep into character building and flashbacks of Matt’s time as a kid getting morality lessons from his priest. This is damn good, taking cues from Frank Miller and David Mazzucchelli’s “Born Again”, but it also feels influenced by Mike Grell’s “The Longbow Hunters”. There’s also a back-up written and illustrated by Zdarsky himself with an interpretation of how Daredevil “sees” and the digital edition gives a smattering of back-up material including covers, art comparisons, and sketches. I highly recommend this.

| Published by Marvel

Deathstroke #40 concludes the “Arkham” arc with Slade killing Hugo Strange and then slaughtering a bunch of homeless men. Maybe. Depends on which truth you believe. In doing so, Priest sets up the seeds for the upcoming crossover with Teen Titans.

| Published by DC Comics

Die #3 peels back another layer of the onion of this world as Kieron Gillen, Stephanie Hans, and Clayton Cowles give us a story of how the various regions work. All through an allegory of war between Eternal Prussia and Little England, Tolkien re-adapted to a kind of explanation on his own allegory. It’s interesting, especially when coupled with the essay Gillen pens in the back that explains the whole construct. That said, it also works great as just an extremely pretty adventure where a party of adventurers fights a dragon. I’m loving what this series is doing.

| Published by Image

Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor #4 concludes the opening arc with the Hoarder from Jody Houser, Rachael Stott, Erica Eren Angiolini, Viviana Spinelli, Richard Starkings, Sarah Jacobs, and John Roshell. I still love the inventiveness and ornate quality to the Hoarder’s design.

| Published by Titan

The Empty Man #4 gives a bit more insight into the disease ravaging the planet, as more of the strange skittering monsters appear and the kids from the original mini-series return. Cullen Bunn, Jesús Hervás, Niko Guardia, and Ed Dukeshire are crafting something very dark and weird with this series, but also very, very good.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Female Furies #1 isn’t a bad start from Cecil Castellucci, Adrian Melo, Hi-Fi, and Carlos M. Mangual. I quite like Melo’s art here, as she’s adapted it somewhat to highlight influences from some Fourth World luminaries like Jack Kirby, Keith Giffen, and Walt Simonson.

| Published by DC Comics

The Freeze #3 delves deeper into the early days after the Freeze as the awakened look into the serial killings, and we get more mysteries in missing people (who may or may not be the same as those murdered) and the revelation that Ray is being manipulated. Really great work here from Dan Wickline, Phillip Sevy, and Troy Peteri. 

| Published by Image / Top Cow

GI Joe: Sierra Muerte #1 sees Michael Fiffe bring his kind of retro charm to the Joes in the beginning of this series. It’s actually played pretty straight and reminds me of the loving care that Tom Scioli also takes to these properties. Great art and a story that reminds me of the original GI Joe cartoon.

| Published by IDW

Giant Days #47 intertwines Daisy learning to drive, McGraw’s brother dropping in on him and Susan, and Esther taking care of an illicit adorable puppy. All the usual humour and character building you’d expect from John Allison, Max Sarin, Whitney Cogar, and Jim Campbell. 

| Published by Boom Entertainment / BOOM! Box

The Girl in the Bay #1 is an intriguing debut from JM DeMatteis, Corin Howell, James Devlin, and Clem Robins. It jumps headlong in to some of DeMatteis’ favourite themes and topics as spiritualism, reincarnation, and coming of age (particularly in Brooklyn) and presents a compelling world and mystery for the seemingly dead, then strangely awakened fifty years later Karen Sartori. Very nice artwork from Howell and Devlin.

| Published by DC Comics / Berger Books

The Green Lantern #4 may yet be the most beautiful issue to date, with Liam Sharp and Steve Oliff elevating the impossibly high bar of their artwork to an even greater level. The character designs, page layouts, panel transitions, and sheer storytelling in the artwork is incredible.

| Published by DC Comics

Gunhawks #1 is another of the revived title one-shots in celebration of Marvel’s 80th anniversary, this one a western from David & Maria Lapham, Luca Pizarri, Neeraj Menon, Rachelle Rosenberg, and Travis Lanham. It’s gritty, bloody, and the art from Pizarri, Menon, and Rosenberg is very impressive.

| Published by Marvel

Immortal Hulk #13 concludes the descent into Hell in an issue that is probably as epic as the Avengers beatdown from #7. Al Ewing, Joe Bennett, Ruy José, Belardino Brabo, Rafael Fonteriz, Paul Mounts, and Cory Petit continue to deliver one of the best series on the stands today.

| Published by Marvel

Justice League #17 follows on from the annual and the revelations in the “Escape from Hawkworld” arc in this single issue story of Martian Manhunter’s past from Scott Snyder, Jim Cheung, Mark Morales, Walden Wong, Tomeu Morey, and Tom Napolitano. Some fascinating developments in J’onn’s history here, with gorgeous artwork, and the funny truth that Batman’s really a concerned bat-dad.

| Published by DC Comics

Killmonger #4 wages a pitched battle with Die #3 and The Green Lantern #4 for most beautiful art in a comic this week. Juan Ferreyra’s work is stunning, giving the book depth, character, and an immense re-readability just to stare at the imagery again. There is a wonderful sequence of blood pooling up the page as the violence and body count increases and the design for the cat goddess is gorgeous. As to that latter, Egypt isn’t for want of multiple cat deities and, though Sekhmet is probably the easy answer, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the older and somewhat lesser known Mafdet. Bryan Hill, Ferreyra, and Joe Sabino continue to deliver one hell of a solid story with this series.

| Published by Marvel

Oberon #1 is off to a fantastic start with this tale from Ryan Parrott, Miloš Slavković, and Charles Pritchett. It strikes a nice balance between fantasy and the mundane as Bonnie finds out she, and the world, aren’t exactly what she thought. Gorgeous artwork from Slavković.

| Published by AfterShock

Old Man Quill #1 kicks off a Guardians tale set in the “Old Man” universe from Ethan Sacks, Robert Gill, Andres Mossa, and Joe Caramagna. I liked the recently concluded Sacks-penned Old Man Hawkeye series as well and Star-Lord appears to be taking on that same kind of beaten-down sardonicism of Clint.

| Published by Marvel

Prodigy #3 sees Crane and Agent Straks racing across the globe to find out information on the cult aiding the alternate dimension insurgents. The artwork from Rafael Albuquerque and Marcelo Maiolo continues to be the main attraction, delivering some amazing action sequences.

| Published by Image

Self/Made #3 gives us another twist as Rebecca and Amala attempt to take down Bryce for control of Amala’s code. This story continues to evolve in some very interesting ways, while including some of the toxicity inherent in some game development studios, with some beautiful artwork from Eduardo Ferigato and Marcelo Costa.

| Published by Image

Shadow Roads #6 returns with Brian Hurtt stepping in for the line art and it’s great to see him back illustrating within the Sixth Gun world. Really nice, weird designs for the Bone Plains and interesting hints as to what’s next for the new/old threats seeping back into the world.

| Published by Oni Press

Star Wars: Age of Republic - Anakin Skywalker #1 spotlights a moral quandary for Anakin from Jody Houser, Cory Smith, Wilton Santos, Walden Wong, Java Tartaglia, and Travis Lanham. It’s still interesting to see Anakin as “General Skywalker” during the Clone Wars and how different he was from what he’d become.

| Published by Marvel

These Savage Shores #3 is almost a perfect comic, actually it may well be a perfect comic. The craft and care that goes into creating this work is astounding. Ram V, Sumit Kumar, Vittorio Astone, and Aditya Bidikar are elevating the art form each issue. With the compelling intertwining of history and horror. With the epistolary narrative approach perfectly befitting the vampire sub-genre. With the attention to detail in how dialogue and narration are presented visually. With the variations on the 9-panel grid to guide pacing and keep the reader visually interested. With the consideration of the colour washes and tones to amplify the mood and atmosphere of the tale. This series is incredible.

| Published by Vault

United States vs. Murder Inc. #6 is kind of a weird conclusion to this series as the larger plot of the predicament the families currently find themselves in is left to the next series and, like last issue, we instead get more of Valentine’s family history. Great art, though, from Michael Avon Oeming and Taki Soma. The art really reminds me of some of Darwyn Cooke’s in his Parker adaptations.

| Published by DC Comics / Jinxworld

Vindication #1 is an interesting crime drama from MD Marie, Carlos Miko, Dema Jr., Thiago Goncalves, and Troy Peteri. I love the shades of grey and uncertainty in motivation and truth in this story.

| Published by Image / Top Cow

Wasted Space #6 returns with all the humour, violence, and madness that Michael Moreci, Hayden Sherman, Jason Wordie, and Jim Campbell brought to the first arc. I love Sherman’s designs for the gods, they remind me a lot of Ted McKeever’s work.

| Published by Vault

The Wrong Earth #6 ends season one of the series with Dragonfly and Dragonflyman adapting somewhat each to their new Earths, showing a bit of equivocation of the characters as the environment changes them. This has been an interesting story from Tom Peyer, Jamal Igle, Juan Castro, Andy Troy, and Rob Steen and there’s ample threads to bring me back when the series resumes. 

| Published by Ahoy

Young Justice #2 continues the adventure in Gemworld in the present, while we get a focus on Wonder Girl in the past. There’s something weird going on here with time and continuity that still feels like a story beat more than Brian Michael Bendis just playing fast and loose with what he wants. Great art from Patrick Gleason, Emanuela Lupacchino, Ray McCarthy, and Alejandro Sanchez.

| Published by DC Comics / Wonder Comics

Other Highlights: Asgardians of the Galaxy #6, Atomic Robo & The Dawn of a New Era #2, Battlestar Galactica: Twilight Command #1, Black AF: Devil’s Dye #2, Cemetery Beach #6, Curse Words #20, The Dreaming #6, Feathers, Gasolina #15, GI Joe: A Real American Hero #259, LaGuardia #3, Marvel Action: Avengers #2, Noble #15, Project Superpowers #6, Red Sonja #1, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #5, Star Wars #61, Tony Stark: Iron Man #8, The Umbrella Academy: Hotel Oblivion #5, Unnatural #7, Vampirella/Reanimator #2

Recommended Collections: Betrothed - Volume 1: Love or Die, Big Trouble in Little China: Old Man Jack - Volume 3, BPRD: The Devil You Know - Volume 2: Pandemonium, Ether - Volume 2: Copper Golems, Lowlifes, Noble - Volume 3: No One Man, Optimus Prime - Volume 5, TMNT: Bebop & Rocksteady Hit the Road

d. emerson eddy sometimes feels like his old bones should light out for the wastelands.

[lady-vixen-17]

Returning Home chapter 1

Master list

A/n Please ignore spelling mistakes, I haven’t been able to go through and make sure everything makes sense. But I hope you in joy

Summary: Carlisle found you, wounded and practically knocking on deaths door, he turned you before you could die, the only thing is you don’t have very much self control, you lived the life Carlisle had requested you live while you lived with him. Bella and Edward had come back from their honeymoon with the news of Bella being pregnant, a month after you were turned. Fearing you would harm Bella or the unborn child you left them, your old diet dripping when a small group of nomad vampires and threaten to kill you if you were not strong enough to fight them when they tracked you down again. You knew you’d be able to finish them then and there, but you were still developing under your new life, and didn’t trust yourself to. You return homes 2 months later, your blood still running through your flesh, senses heightened and more alert. Your golden eyes tainted the blood red they were when you were first turned. Your self control better then when you left months ago.

“My my, now what would Carlisle think of his little Cullen?” The guy I held to the ground had stopped moving at this point. “Y/n” I stood up and looked back, I licked my lips and when I turned to see Garrett, the blood red eyed male stood leaned against the wall. “What happened to you miss vegetarian” I smirked, my own blood red eyes staring into his. “What are you doing here Garrett?” I questioned, my arms crossed over my chest. “I asked first vegetarian” I rolled my eyes at Garrett “the answer to that is self explanatory, now. Why the hell are you here?” He narrowed his eyes at me slightly “you truly don’t know?” He pushed himself from the wall and walked from the ally. “Know what” I demanded.

“It’s about Bella and Edward, they had a child” I quickly walked towards Garrett, my hand pulling him to a stop before I looked around quickly, noticing a few people walking around. “Come with me” I pulled him by the arm, my head turning in the direction of a hotel not to far away. I let go of Garrett’s arm once I knew he would follow me, my hand going to pull my wallet from my pocket. I looked back at Garrett and motioned to the hotel, he nodded in response and followed me into the hotel. “Excuse me, sir?” I asked quietly as I put glasses on, shielding my eyes from the male at the desk. “Yes ma’am?” He asked smiling up at me with an odd look. “I’m sorry this is sudden but would I be able to get a room with two beds?” He gave me an odd look “I’m sorry ma’am but you must have a reservation to get a room here” I rolled my eyes behind my sunglasses “please sir. It’s really late, we hadn’t expected it to to get so late suddenly, and our drive home is still another 5 hours, we really need a place to sleep, we will be checked out early tomorrow morning, I could pay for the room in cash or credit.” He sighed and started typing on his computer “name?”

*time skip*

“Alright spill it” I laid down on the queen sized bed as I waited for Garrett to speak, his hands roaming around the items in the room. “They are calling people to witness” he replied his blood red eyes finding their way to mine. “Witness what numbnuts” he rolled his eyes at my reply, “their child of course, someone went and to told the Volturi that they made an immortal child” I narrowed my eyes at the brown haired male. “So you’re telling me that their child was born?” I sat up and stared at Garrett “that’s impossible, and Bella is still alive?” Garrett nodded “I’m surprised you weren’t the first to know, after all you were always Carlisle’s favourite little Cullen” Garrett gave me a smirk and sat down on the other bed, his hand finding the remote to the tv. I sighed as he flipped through the channels, “I’m going out to hunt” I muttered as I walked towards the balcony. “You just ate” he muttered “are you one of those hunters who hunt for fun” I let out a quiet growl at that “I only kill those who are criminals, who do nothing but harass others and drink all day” I opened the sliding door, and climbed over the ledge. “What ever you say vegetarian, be back in 6 hours, we can leave by then”

*time skip*

“Who knew Carlisle would get the mutts to guard his place” I chuckled and looked down at the mutt growling and snapping his jaws at me, my sunglasses stayed over my blood red eyes, I snickered and mockingly whistled “good boy, now who are you” I leaned down closer to the sandy brown coloured shapeshifter. “Jacob” I smirked down at him as he snarled up at me. ‘Garrett is going to pay for leaving me alone here’ “Y/n?” I looked away from the mutt barking up my tree and smiled uneasily. “Carlisle” I glanced around at the others with him. “Mutt I’m getting out of this tree, I won’t hesitate to hurt you if you even try anything” I dropped from the tree my hand up to keep my glasses on. “I didn’t expect you to come” Carlisle wrapped his arm around Esme as he sent a smile in my direction.

“I’m sorry. But I don’t recall ever getting word of this” I ignored the mutt that growled at me as I walked past him. I looked to Edward who narrowed his eyes at me, I sighed quietly and hugged Carlisle “trust me, you would have be one of the first people to know if we knew how to get ahold of you” Esme smiled at me, as I hugged her also. “We’ve missed you.” I forced a smile to them as I stepped away. Fidgeting with the sleeve of my shirt, I looked over towards Alice and Jasper, my eyes lingering on my family for a few moments. I swallowed when a sudden scent hit my nose, it was an odd scent. Another lingered with in the odd scent, I took a deep breath. My head turning towards the forest ‘no stop it’ I thought turning back to Carlisle. “Y/n take off your glasses” I looked at Edward and stared at him, and held my breath as the scent of a human reached me once more.

“Come on Eddy” I forced a smile “it’s part of my outfit” I shifted my eyes between everyone nervously, Jasper looked at me suspiciously, probably noticing my nervousness. “That’s clearly a lie” I let my smile fall, before I walked past them and towards the house I used to stay. “Think what you want Edward” I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans. I cleared my thoughts and thought of nothing, my feet bringing through the forest, past my family. Edward didn’t say anything as I walked past him before he grabbed my sunglasses and I tensed up, Alice and Jasper looked straight into my eyes as I looked at them. Their eyes showing confusing, Jasper swallowed harshly, his eyes lingering on mine before I sighed and closed my eyes. “Y/n....” I turned to Carlisle, eyes closed before I opened them and looked up slightly to look into his eyes. Blood red met golden yellow, his eyes showed a hint of disappointment.

“Forgive me Carlisle...” I turned and walk towards what used to be my house, I could easily sense the other vampires within the house, mixed with the scent of wet dog.

My eyes lingered on everyone through the window as they stared in my direction. Blood red sets of eyes mixed with pairs of golden yellow. “So... where is my dearest niece?” I put my hands in my jacket pockets as I turned to look at Edward. “She’s with Bella” Edward answered his eyes looking at the female sitting on the porch with young looking child, her eyes a beautiful brown, she same brown Bella had when she was still human. “Renesmee... am I correct?” My eyes stared into Edwards, he nodded his head hesitantly. “Well” I turned and smiled at the brown eyed girl who looked at me questioningly. “Renesmee, hi” I walked up to the porch “I’m your auntie” I tilted my head with a close eyes smile.

“Why are your eyes red” I looked over at Bella, my eyes lingering for a moment before I looked at Renesmee again “well sweetie, my eyes are red because I have a different diet then the rest of my family.” I look a deep breath, she smells odd, good... but odd. I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and before I knew it I was thrown through the air. I flipped myself and landed on my feet, my head quickly moving to stare at Edward. “She’s not a snack” I rolled my eyes and stood up straight, dusting my hands off with annoyance in my eyes “did I say she was a snack?” I looked over at Carlisle “clear I’m not very welcomed here”

“Auntie” I looked down slightly, not realizing that I had tunnelled my vision on a select few members of my family, my eyes met the brown ones of my niece. I smiled and kneeled down to her level, at the corner of my eye I saw Edward, stepping my direction, only to be stopped by Jasper, he said something very quietly to Edward. I focused on Renesmee, she placed her hand in my cheek. Memories she had when she was first born and till now, flashing through my mind. I smiled after a moment, my eyes looking into Renesmee’s “I’m sorry for leaving” Renesmee tilted her head “I left before you were born, when your mom was still human” I reached my hand forward tucking a piece of Renesmee’s hair behind her ear.

She smiled at me before she lunged herself towards me, her arms wrapping around my neck as she had successfully knocked me back and on the the ground. I laughed and returned the hug she gave, my arms staying very loose. “Okay, Renesmee” I pulled her from my body a little and looked into her eyes “red or gold” I smiled wondering which she would choose, she tilted her head “gold?” The word she let slip from her lips sounded more as a question then anything. I smiled none the less and stood up with her in my arms before I placed her on the ground “as you wish princess” I bowed to her playfully, my eyes holding playfulness as I folded on of my arms in front of my body and another behind my back. “Your Nobel knight shall return shortly”

I started walking towards the forest, I heard Renesmee giggle to herself before I felt a presence next to me. I looked to my left and noticed Edward by my side “what are you doing?” He stared intensely at me, his golden eyes looking for anything in mine, after all, I knew how to avoid his mind reading gift. “I’m off to hunt” without any other word I was walking in the direction of the forest.

*times skip*

I looked into the camera on my phone, my eyes a bright golden yellow, brighter then any of the other Cullen/Hale’s, I didn’t understand why they looked so vibrant. “Renesmee!” I called, jumping up the stairs of my old house. I opened the door and instantly saw Renesmee at the top of the stairs “Your Nobel knight is back” I smiled as she ran down the stairs before jumping the last few stairs and into my arms. “Your eyes are beautiful” she commented on my eyes, her brown ones fixated on my golden ones. I hummed in amusement “gold or red?” I asked once again as I tucked a piece of her brown wavy hair behind her ear. “Gold” she smiled up at me shyly. “Then gold it will stay” I placed Renesmee on the ground and she instantly grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs.

“I want you to meet Jacob!” My smile fell as I was pulled into the living room, my shy nature setting in as I felt many pairs on eyes on my form. The smell of wet dog hit my nose, although it wasn’t as intense as I remembered it being. “Jacob” I gave him a smile as Renesmee let go of my hand and ran towards Jacob. My eyes were quick to wonder, Alice and Jasper had not made another appearance since I left for my hunt. Some pairs of red eyes stayed trained on me before going back to looking at who they were conversing with before I had arrived once again. One particular set of red eyes hadn’t left my form, I smiled when I looked towards where I felt as though I was being watched an was met with a male who seemed around my age, young, at least when he was turned he was young. He smiled at me before he looked right into my eyes, I stared into his red eyes for a few moments more before I realized he was moving in my direction. His short black curly hair stood out to me along with his red eyes, his pale olive skin making them stand out more. “Your a Cullen correct?” He questioned, his voice lulled me slightly and I found myself drawn to him more then I already was.

“Y/n Cullen, pleasure to meet you” I held my hand out to the male vampire in front of me for a handshake. He gave me a charming smiled and grabbed my hand bringing it to his lips before he placed a lingering kiss to the back of my hand “Benjamin” he smirked up at me “but the pleasures all mine.

[capriswritingnartshenanigans]

I Remember You: Chapter 2, Catching Up and Some Truths

Cullen Rutherford/Female Amell Inquisitor slow burn. SFW.

Prologue: https://capriswritingnartshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/172406242751/i-remember-you-prologue , Chapter 1: https://capriswritingnartshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/172434681636/i-remember-you-chapter-1-the-inquisition , Catch it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14145420/chapters/35412522

Carrie, after joining the Inquisition, is now having to deal with the very real reality that she can't keep her identity hidden, which goes against everything she has ever worked for. And, not only that, but she has yet to grieve for the fallen Justinia, and all those who died at the Conclave.

In lieu of Chancellor Roderick's dismissal (more like forced removal), Cassandra and Leliana requested Carrie give them around an hour to gather their thoughts with the other two sort of “advisers” of the Inquisition. Then, they'd come up with some form of a plan to figure just how to move forward. So, now, Carrie was back outside of Haven's chantry, unsure of what to do with her spare time; normally, she was so constantly on the move, she didn't have spare time. An uneasy sensation of dread and a painful pang of loss were having a war in her chest, and she had to force tears not to come to her eyes; in truth, she had known Justinia quite well. She had been the only one of the Chantry's sort of board leaders to seem to not hate or find her repulsive. Justinia had treated her as an equal, both in and out of Leliana and others' presences. Later, she would likely grieve fully over this loss, but for now...

“I've been lookin' for you, birdie. I wanted to check up on you the moment you were awake, but it seems Cassandra conveniently forgot to let me know.” Carrie turns to her left and spots Varric leaning against the chantry wall, arms crossed. He was watching her with a curious, observatory look on his face; she self-consciously pulled her hood down some more.

“Oh, the moment I woke up I hurried here; a servant told me to head over straight away just as she ran out the door. I doubt she would have had the time...” Carrie spots Chancellor Roderick some distance away, angrily scribbling on a tacboard. “...what with the Chancellor trying his damnedest to make it out like I'm the one who did all of this.” She lets out a soft sigh. Varric pushes himself off the wall, and walks towards her till he's right next to her.

“Oh, yeah, now that man is a piece of work. Kind of reminds me of my brother when it came time to do taxes.” She snorts softly and he gives a small chuckle. “What's the plan for now?”

“For now, I've got an hour of free time till I'm supposed to meet with all four of the advisers or whatever they're being called.” She gives him a small grin from under her hood, her eyes twinkling with a bit of mischief. “How's about you show me to the tavern so we can discuss what I've missed?”

Thirty minutes later, Varric and Carrie have a table all to themselves in Haven's rather tiny tavern. After grabbing some hot food and cool drinks (and some good ribbing towards Carrie for opting non-alcoholic), the two were chatting away eagerly. While Varric had been brought in for questioning by the Inquisition, Carrie had been off trying to figure out just how bad the mage-templar fights were becoming. She had intended to see if she could help the Inquisition later on, but it seems fate had a different idea in mind.

“Yeah, Hawke's letters said as much. She told me you both were traveling together? Or, well, until the Conclave; she had figured an appearance there would have been too risky.” Varric pokes a bit at a potato chunk before continuing. “I'm damn glad she didn't come. To think...”

“Don't think like that Varric. It didn't happen and she's fine. We lost enough people; do not go doing 'what-if's. Hawke is alive and well, probably cursing us both for leaving her alone. I imagine having to either go alone or possibly be recognized by Kirkwall survivors is putting a strain on her.” Varric nods, swallows hard, and takes a bite of his stew. Carrie does the same; she was actually on her second bowl... Turns out she had been hungrier than she thought. “I heard from Isabela not too long ago. She found a rather nice cache of treasure and sent me a few baubles and small artifacts she thought I'd be interested in.”

“What? You expect me to believe that Isabela, pirate queen, booty-snatcher of all seas, was willing to part with some of her goods?” Varric raises both of his eyebrows at her, and as she's about to retort, a courier comes in and spots the two of them, and quickly heads over to their table.

“H-Hello, Herald, Sister Leliana and Lady Cassandra asked that I inform you they're ready to speak and to head back to the chantry as soon as possible.” The rather nervous man gives a small bow and quickly leaves. Sighing loudly, Carrie quickly finishes her remaining stew and bids Varric farewell whilst try to sooth her burnt tongue.

As Carrie heads back into the main hall of the chantry, anxious, sickening butterflies rumble in her belly. Varric had informed her that Commander Cullen and Lady Josephine Montilyet  were the last of the quad of advisers. She knew that it was likely high-time for her identity to be revealed, and she wasn't sure she was ready to have that conversation with him; as far as he knew, she had died of disease many years ago. She felt like she may throw up as she neared the sort of conference room; her palms were sweaty under her thin gloves, and her breath was coming too fast and short. Cassandra was waiting outside of it for her. Noticing Carrie, she nodded to her. “How is your hand? Does it trouble you?” Carrie slowly took her glove off and peered at the faintly green, deep scar on her hand; it stretched from where her forefinger connected to her hand to the beginning of her wrist. It felt odd, but not necessarily painful. She put her glove back on before replying.

“No, but... It wasn't enough to close the Breach. What use is it if it can't do the one thing it should be able to?” She frowned, pressing her lips together tightly.

“You did everything we asked of you.”

“And it still didn't work...” Cassandra smiled softly at the troubled woman, gently placing her gloved hand on Carrie's arm.

“What's important is that your mark, and the Breach, are now stable. You've given us time, and Solas believes a second attempt might succeed- provided the mark has more power... The same level of power used to open the Breach in the first place. That is not easy to come by.” There was concern written on her face. Whether it was for Carrie or the Breach or both, Carrie wasn't sure.

“I'm hoping there is an idea brewing on how this can be done. While I am powerful, and so is Solas, I doubt we both could do it alone.”

“Yes, we- myself and the other advisers- have something. Join us...” She opened the door and waved her in, following after the mage stiff-leggedly walked in. She closed the door after them, then moved to the left side of the table, between Leliana and Cullen. Carrie moved to the side opposite of the door, and it seemed the meeting was ready to begin. She motioned her hand to Cullen. “You've meet Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition's forces.” Carrie's head turned towards him as he smiled warmly at her and nodded his head.

“It was only for a moment on the field. I'm pleased you survived.” She felt a flutter in her chest as she thought of how he'd react if she suddenly pulled down her hood... Cassandra's voice drew her back to reality.

“This is Lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador and chief diplomat.” The soft brown-skinned woman smiled sweetly; she was quite pretty, and the candle on her tacboard gave her face a warm glow.

“I've heard much. It's a pleasure to meet you at last.” Her voice had a soft, lilting accent to it. Carrie nodded to her politely as Cassandra drew her attention to Leliana.

“And, of course, you know Sister Leliana.” Leliana's green eyes twinkled with a dark humor, and she laughed softly.

“Ah, Cassandra, there is something I must admit. I am very well aware of who our new member is. We've met many times in our travels in Fereldan, Orlais, and Kirkwall; I didn't want to tell you in case you thought I had a bias with her.” Her eyes wandered from Carrie to Cassandra and back as Cassandra seemed to process this information. Her face was slightly red.

“I-You-...” She lets out a disgruntled noise. “In the name of Andraste, is there anyone else who secretly knows who she is?”

“Oh, I believe there is one more person who does, but it's best they find out after this meeting; they don't seem to realize they know her.” Leliana's voice has a sad edge to it, before she continued. “Anyway, my position here involves a degree of-”

“She is our spymaster.” Cassandra seems to have gotten back her hold on herself. Leliana snorts.

“Yes, tactfully put, Cassandra.” All four persons turn to look at the rogue-mage, veiled in her cloak. She nods to all of them in turn.

“It is a pleasure to meet you all. I hope we can work well together to bring some peace back to the world.” Cassandra nods.

“Well put... I mentioned that your mark needs more power to close the Breach for good.”

“Which means we must approach the rebel mages for help.” Leliana adds. Cullen lets out a derisive grunt.

“And I still disagree. The templars could serve just as well.” Cassandra sighs, leaning against the table.

“We need power, Commander. Enough magic poured into that mark-”

“Might destroy us all. Templars could suppress the Breach, weaken it so-”

“Pure speculation,” Leliana interrupts him, frowning slightly. Cullen shakes his head in disagreement, his lips pressed tightly together.

“I was a templar... I know what they're capable of.” When it seems Leliana or Cassandra might continue the dispute, Lady Josephine steps in.

“Unfortunately, neither group will even speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition-and you, specifically.” She grimaces as she looks to Carrie, seeming to be unsure how to put her words. Carrie places both of her hands on the edge of the table, leaning over on them a bit.

“I'm truly not surprised... Without the true head council, the Chantry is basically just a chicken running around without it's head, as much as I hate to put it that way. No doubt they've done this out of fear, both of the Breach and of a mage with any power.” Her voice is coldly matter-of-a-fact, and Josephine seems hesitant with her answer.

“Yes, I do agree to an extent. With people call you, a mage, the 'Herald of Andraste'... The Chantry is no doubt frightened. It has been declared blasphemy by the remaining clerics, and we are heretics for harboring you.” Cassandra snorts in disgust at Josephine's words.

“Chancellor Roderick's doing, no doubt.” Carrie silently agrees with her; she distinctly remembered him writing something as they left to charge with the soldiers, only so shortly ago...

“It limits our options. Approaching the mages or templars for help is currently out of the question.” Josephine pipes up; she seems very good at redirecting Cassandra's attention.

“Alas, any time something like this happens you always have to do things the hard way it seems. Is there a place we can start until those two options become available to us?” Carrie's eyes move between the four other persons, hopeful that there is some idea in play here. Leliana speaks first.

“Yes, actually; a chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak with you. She is not far, and knows those involved far better than you or I. Her assistance could be invaluable.” Carrie bobs her head a bit in thought, before answering.

“I'd be glad to speak with her as soon as possible.” Leliana nods.

“You will find Mother Giselle tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands, near Redcliffe.”

“Look for other opportunities to expand the Inquisition's influence while you are there; many deem you Herald or at least in some good respects. You could be a powerful recruiter for more agents and help for the Inquisition.” Cullen chips in, rubbing his chin with one hand as he looks at her, his eyes seeming to search for something. She tries to ignore his gaze and pay attention to Cassandra.

“...let's think of other options. I won't leave this all to the Herald.” They all nod in agreement, Cullen and Josephine adding a few notes to their tacboards. Cassandra suddenly peers at Carrie, her eyes narrowing slightly. “There is one last thing before we leave and order some scouts to the Hinterlands... While it has been fine up till this moment, we do need to have at least us all know what you look like and who you are, even if the people don't know. We do not need to indirectly foster distrust or anything else like that.” Ice poured into her stomach at the idea of showing them who she was; in truth, her face hadn't changed very much at all from her time in the Fereldan circle, even though she had been four and ten at that time. She felt her hands shake dramatically from her nerves as she took off her gloves, then slowly reached up to pull down her hood. She kept her eyes locked on the table as she spoke.

“I... I'm Carrie Amell. There's... Well, there's a lot you probably need to know about me, though after you learn it all I doubt you'll want to know it. With knowledge comes regret, or so they say. I knew Justinia and the Warden, Hawke, all of them-”

“Carrie? Carrie... no... there's no way...” She slowly turned her gaze up to Cullen's face, and watched as his mouth opened and eyes widened further as he could fully see her face. The sound of his tacboard hitting the floor greets her ears.

“There is a way... But you're probably not going to like it.”

[fanfoolishness]

no words for heaven or for earth (4/?)

Hawke was left in the Fade, but Varric thinks, or hopes, that she’s still alive. And he has some surprising evidence. Read here at AO3.

Part 1: Where’s Hawke? |  Part 2: because you aren’t here | Part 3: the lonely ruined tower

Part 4: what’s real, anyway? 3000+ words.

Varric sat in his tent, set up in a sheltered area of the ramparts of Griffon Wing Keep.  Here the daytime sun was not quite so fierce, and the night winds were broken by the sand-worn stone.  The dawn would be coming soon, but despite trying, he could not fall asleep again.

Just one more dream, he thought, and then cracked a smile in the dim predawn.  What a fucking weird thing for a dwarf to think.

He sat up, groaning, and fumbled for the small thieves’ lantern he’d kept at the front of the tent.  He rummaged in the half-dark for his firesteel and lit the lantern, its small glow enough to illuminate his tent.  Bianca lay at the ready at the front of the tent; jumbled to the side were his clothes and armor.  Closest to him lay Hawke’s things.

He didn’t know who had packed up her belongings from their camp near Adamant and carried them to the Keep; didn’t know who had bundled them neatly in his tent after setting it up for him.  He didn’t remember very much after he fell out of the Fade and Hawke didn’t.  

He suspected it might have been Cole.  Possibly it was Cullen.  A matter of Fereldan respect for the fallen, maybe.  His stomach clenched.

Varric reached out to touch her pack; soft supple leather and travel-stained cloth, its top slipping open to reveal a rogue’s delight.  Spare daggers, a kit of poisons, raw wire and steel for traps.  And folded beside them a red scarf trimmed in gold thread, its weave warm enough for Skyhold.  

The scarf.  He remembered giving it to her a few winters back, after Kirkwall had a rare snow.  He’d been the cold one -- she enjoyed the snow, as it reminded her of Lothering -- but he’d seen the scarf in a stall in Hightown and thought she might use it.  Really, that was all he’d meant by it.  

She’d thanked him and given him a strange look.  She only wore it a handful of times in Kirkwall; it just didn’t get cold enough.  

In those few short weeks they had in Skyhold, she wore it every day.  

He took the scarf in his hands, raised it to his face, took a long breath.  It smelled like the soap she used, cinnamon and peppery spindleweed.  It smelled like her.

Varric waited for the Inquisitor, kicking his feet idly against the stone ledge on which he sat.  The desert sun was fierce even this early in the morning, and he wiped the sweat from his brow.

“Varric,” said Namira, sitting down beside him.  Her voice was careful.  Controlled.  She’d probably practiced this conversation.  She was awfully tenderhearted for some of the shit she’d seen, he knew that much.  Her question to him was simple.  “How are you?”

They hadn’t yet had a chance to speak since Adamant.  Well, that wasn’t exactly true.  She’d tried and he’d pushed her away every time.  He blamed her and he didn’t, and both truths were too difficult to face.  But he needed her help.  

Varric shrugged.  “I could lie,” he offered.  “Might make us both feel better.  I hear that I’m very good at it.”

She put a hand on his shoulder, then looked hard at him, her eyes watering. The control was gone, collapsed in an instant.  “It’s my fault,” she said quietly.  “She -- she said she should stay behind to fight the Nightmare.  It was blocking our path to the rift.  She said Corypheus was her responsibility, that Alistair should rebuild the Wardens.”

Varric closed his eyes.  Damn but if he couldn’t imagine her saying it.  He could hear her voice, steeled, determined.  Ready to do the Right Thing.  Again.

Why had he called for her?  Why had he brought her here?  She’d already given so much, so damn much, for a world that would never afford her the same courtesy.  The Nightmare’s voice thundered in his head.  Once again, Hawke is in danger because of you.

“Nah.  It’s my fault.  I should never have dragged her here.”  He let out a shuddering breath and opened his eyes, looking anywhere but at Namira.

“But I’m the one who told her yes,” she said.  She pulled her hand off his shoulder, gazing into the sunsoaked morning.  “Do you want to know what she said?”

“Yes.”  Then he thought about it.  “No.”  Another shuddering breath.  “Yes.”

“She said, ‘say goodbye to Varric for me.’”

It was hard to breathe.  He tried.  He knew it was something he had to do.  He closed his eyes again, worked at it, tried to bring the desert air through his nose and mouth into his lungs, tried to remember how to make his heart beat.  It sort of worked.  “Fuck, Doodles.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said miserably.

He scrubbed at his face with a gloved hand.  The leather came away dotted with moisture.  Sweat?  Tears?  Hard to tell.  He gritted his teeth.  “Have you talked to Solas?”

“Not yet,” said Namira.  She searched his face.  She had circles under her eyes.  Inquisitor wasn’t a role he would have pushed on anyone.  But if he’d just told them where Hawke was in the beginning, maybe she’d be Inquisitor now, maybe she wouldn’t be in the Fade --

He shoved the thought aside, banishing it with a strong wave of denial.  Thinking like that was bound to fuck you up.  He couldn’t afford to do that right now.

“Well,” he huffed, his voice cracking, “I think Hawke’s alive.  And before you tell me it’s impossible, you know what else is impossible?  A dwarf having dreams.”  He pointed at himself with his thumb straight out, fingers loosely curled.  “Solas confirmed it.  Apparently I am now a Fade-touched dwarf.  So.  That’s exciting.”

Namira stared at him, her mouth slightly falling open.  “You’ve been dreaming?”

“It’s weird as shit, but I’ve been walking in the Fade,” said Varric.  “Where we -- where we lost her.  And I think she’s still there.”  He felt almost brave, laying it out for her.  “I’ve already got Solas looking for her when he takes his twenty winks, but he doesn’t know her -- I don’t think he’ll find her, not like maybe I could.  I’ve sent out letters on the fastest birds to our friends in Kirkwall; maybe they can help guide her, protect her.  But if we do find her, she’s still going to need a way out.”  He eyed Namira’s left hand, the sizzling green light faint under the bleaching sun.  “If there’s a chance… any kind of chance at all… will you help us?”

Namira reached out, laid her hands on his arms, and leaned forward.  “Yes,” she said fiercely, and he remembered how to breathe again.

The discussion raged for hours.  Namira insisted on bringing in the other mages, and they sequestered themselves in one of the Keep’s back rooms, the stone walls not enough to cool the stifling air.

The mages fought amongst themselves.  Varric sat at the end of the table, letting them talk; the only thing he fought back was a yawn after hours of deliberation.  He wavered in his seat, holding back his exhaustion.

“It simply shouldn’t be possible,” said Solas.  “A mortal left alive in the Fade -- it defies explanation.”

“There are two precedents,” said Vivienne.  “The Tevinter magisters of old --”

“And me,” said Namira.  “I do still seem to be alive.”

“Three precedents,” corrected Dorian.  “After all, Solas, Varric, the Warden and myself all walked in the Fade without perishing.”

“Hawke was brought in the same way we were, so the Fade itself may not be fatal to her.  If she doesn’t attempt to get to the Black City --”

“She wouldn’t,” said Varric, rubbing his eyes.  This was the sixth time they’d had this conversation, or so it felt like.  “Her dad was a mage, her sister too.  She knows the risks.”

“I would not have thought she could survive the Nightmare,” said Solas.  “But perhaps it was more weakened by the Divine’s spirit than we believed.”  

“What Varric describes is an unusual level of clarity in a dream, even for a mage,” said Dorian.  “The clues he has seen… it could be her.”

“Let us assume that it is her, and not a scion of the Nightmare, or a similar spirit,” said Solas.  “I walked Adamant in the Fade for hours last night, and found no whispers of a demon holding that remnant of the Fade.  The spirits are quiet.  Perhaps it is because there is a mortal among them.”

“That’s rather a large assumption to make, my dear,” said Vivienne.  “But I do acknowledge we tread here in lands uncharted.”  

Namira ran a hand across her lips thoughtfully.  “There was water in the Fade.  She could survive for weeks without food, if need be,” she said.  “Supposing she needs it there, that is.  Do any of you recall feeling hungry?  Thirsty?  Any physical needs?  Who knows how time moves there?”

“What’s real, anyway?” Varric murmured, but they ignored him as if he hadn’t spoken at all.

“I am not certain of the nature of time in the physical Fade,” said Solas, looking disquieted.

“I asked Cullen,” said Namira.  “They thought we were gone for less than an hour.  But I thought we were there for longer, nearly a full day.”

“Even if time is flexible within the Fade --”

Varric yawned.  Mages.  They always had something to say.  He supposed he couldn’t exactly fault them that.  This was some pretty weird magical shit, after all.  He rested his chin in his hand, blinking slowly.  The light was so dim in here, just a few small candles and an oil lamp at the other end of the table.

“Do you recall sensing any temporal distortion?” Vivienne asked Dorian.  “After all, you do have additional training in time magic.”

“Things did move differently there,” began Dorian.  But Varric’s eyes fell closed.  He’d have to catch up with what Dorian was saying later.

Hawke peered warily out of the tower window, watching for any signs of movement below. The rocks shifted as they always did here, but she saw no signs of spiders, shades, or demons scurrying on the stairs. Good.

The lack of demons had been surprising at first, but she had plenty of time to think about it, didn’t she? The Nightmare had been such an all-consuming force in this part of the Fade, according to the elf Solas, and when it crumpled, or vanished, or retreated, it must have left a vacuum behind.

She had been less troubled by creatures than she would have expected.  Still, though, once she found the Tower of Ishal, she had gratefully taken it as a place to shelter.  The longer she stayed, the more constant it became, as if it was trying to change itself to suit her.  Amell banners fluttered at the walls, a tiny memory of home.

She thought back to Dad’s lessons, mostly for Bethany, but she had often listened in as well.  Memories shape the Fade just as surely as our hands shape the world this side of the Veil.  In the great places, where history has been changed or many lives have been taken, the Fade forms itself in response to the memories left behind.  But maybe her memories shaped it, too.

She hadn’t seen many creatures, but she had seen many wisps, hints of people dreaming who stalked the stairs of the tower.  One of them had reminded her of Warden Alistair, but she couldn’t say why; just something about the way it hummed to itself as it passed, oblivious to her presence.  It made her feel less lonely, for a moment.

It also reminded her to continue to keep her wits about her.  She wasn’t sure what traps would do to creatures of spirit, but she figured it wouldn’t hurt to find out.  It gave her something to focus on, anyway, besides that storm of howling terror waiting for her in the back of her mind.  You are lost, lost forever, no one will ever see you again, you’re going to die here --  It was quite the unpleasant litany.  

So she tried to ignore it.  She pooled all of her trap supplies from the pouches on her belt, bits of metal and flint, wire and string, and she worked.  

Her efforts reminded her of Kirkwall.  She’d been decent with dueling and daggers when she arrived, years of practicing behind the barn sparring with Carver an aid.  He’d had so much strength she’d put her energy into evading, dodging, ducking.  But she’d been hopeless at some of the other aspects of roguery when she came to Kirkwall.  It had been Varric and Isabela who had taught her, somewhat patiently, but mostly with an enormous degree of teasing, how to be truly clever.

She fought back tears, thinking of Varric’s sturdy hands on hers.  She remembered being impressed by how nimble his wide fingers were, showing her how to jigger a lock or how to thread a tripwire just right.  She’d been surprised by how sure his touch was.  He could be unexpectedly serious when he was concentrating.

“You fool,” she said into the empty, echoing Fade.  “You rather liked him from the start, didn’t you?  What would Mum say about an Amell and a dwarf?”  She laughed, finishing up her trap, and turned to head back through the door into the tower room.  

Only it wasn’t the tower any longer; it was their home in Lothering.  And she was not alone.

Mum was pale and wan before her, her eyes as dull as they had been in that terrible foundry.  Hawke scrabbled for her daggers, suddenly gasping for air.  “No,” she said weakly.  “Mum.  Please.  Don’t make me look at you, not like this.  I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Mum said, her voice soft but strained.  She reached out, her hand jerky, twitching. “I forgive you, Min, sweet girl.  It wasn’t your fault.”

Hawke’s hands shook on the hilts of her daggers.  “Just stop,” she begged.  But she missed her mother, too, wished she could take her hand, meet her in an embrace. Leandra had been such a beautiful woman.  Her flat, scarred eyes blinked in her ruined face, one after the other.

“Please don’t worry, my love.  I’m with your father again.  And Carver.”  They appeared behind her, their faces ghostly pale, their eyes hollow.  “We miss you and your sister.  Please, my Min.  Come with us.”

“We miss you,” echoed her father.

“I miss you,” said Carver.  “Honest, sister.  Even I miss you.”  He hitched a grin on his face, where it looked wrong, somehow; too wide, the teeth too even.  But she stared at them, fighting back false hope.  It was so hard.  

If she tilted her head, if she squinted, they didn’t look so pale; didn’t look so strange.  The color came back to Carver’s face.  Mum’s eyes looked clear.  Dad smiled, crows’ feet creasing at the corners of his eyes.

They didn’t look strange at all.  They just looked like her family.

“I’ve missed you all so much.”  They smiled, and she stepped closer.

He was back in Kirkwall.  He’d missed the shithole more than he’d let on, though if he was honest, he suspected a discerning listener just maybe might have picked up on it over the past few months.  He suddenly remembered all the times in the Inquisition he’d constantly mentioned Hawke and their friends, their adventures in the Hanged Man, stories from around the city, and he had to laugh.  It was obvious now.  

He’d been fucking homesick.  For Kirkwall!

Sure, it was good to be back, even if Lowtown was surprisingly empty this time of night.  Was it night, or was it a strange, shifting twilight?  The rebuilding was proceeding differently from how he had remembered.  He didn’t remember doorways opening from the second floor of some of the houses, for example, or windows set in the cobblestone ground.  He shrugged.  Maybe this would withstand an explosion a little better.

Streets soaked in blood, beggars with their throats ripped out, the roar of the abomination shattering the windows, a red sun, a fell sun --

No.  No, that wasn’t all Kirkwall was.  He tried to remember better times.  Happier times.  It’s a shithole, but it’s our shithole!  He tried to forget the backs of Hawke and Anders, leaving the city; tried to forget the smell of smoke, the hum of the lyrium shimmering from what had once been the Knight-Commander.

He shook his head, mouth narrowing in a hard line, and kept walking until he saw something better than old, dark memories.  The Hanged Man.  

Varric squinted up at the wooden man hanging from the roof; it looked different.  Smaller.  Sleeker.  It hadn’t been painted in gold and red before, either.

His hands curled into fists.  “Min?” he called hoarsely.  The wooden figure shimmered, then disappeared.  “Right,” he said.  “Okay, that seems normal.”

He shoved open the door and stepped inside.  The chairs were stacked on all the tables except one.  Hawke sat at the table, studying a mug of ale.

“Varric,” she said warmly.  “I’ve been waiting for you.”

He pulled up the chair beside her, put his hand on hers.  “Min.  Do you know how good it is to see you?” he asked.  “I -- I’ve missed you.”

She grinned, winking at him, leaning into his touch.  “But I’ve been here the whole time.  Where have you been, you foolish dwarf?  It’s not like you to leave Kirkwall behind.”

Varric looked at her, feeling a little confused.  Hadn’t she been the one who left?  Or -- no, maybe he had it backwards.  It was hard to say.  He busied himself with watching two pints of ale appear, disappear, reappear on the table.  

He was here for something.  He tried to remember.  His next book was due, wasn’t it?  Damn publishers on his back.  With his free hand he tried to reach into his pocket for his pen and journal.  Something about them seemed important.  

“Something distracting you, love?” she asked, her expression sunny.  “Aren’t you glad to see me?”

“Of course,” said Varric.  “But I was supposed to do something.”

Hawke nodded, suddenly serious.  “I see.  You’ll do what you must, I suppose.”

Varric pulled out the journal and pen, and hesitantly pulled his hand away from hers.  “I’ll just be a moment,” he explained.  He gazed at the blank paper and set the pen to it.  But the words wouldn’t come.  “I don’t understand,” he said.  He closed his eyes, tried to remember.  The memory hit him like a blast.  

“I’ve with the Inquisition.  Corypheus -- he’s back.  I’m doing the noble thing and trying to stop the bastard.”  He gasped, remembering.  “We have to get you out of here!”

Her smile faded.  “I can’t leave, Varric.”  Her mouth quirked to one side, her lip trembling.  

He tried to write something; he wasn’t sure what.  He ripped the paper out of the book and let it float away, setting down his pen and turning to her.  He took her hands in his.  They were softer than he remembered, without the callouses he’d grown used to.

“Why can’t you leave?”

But she just stared into her drink, letting go of his hands.  Tears shone in her eyes. “You were too late,” she whispered.