#he is literally one of the only reason I still believe I like straight men

[thedevilsnewsky]

"Shepard...forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you...come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."

I’m crying, screaming, throwing up

AND HE WANTED CHILDREN WITH HER MY HEART, I CANT

[ezra-editss]

Just watched X-men Apocalypse. What the hell.

Okay, so I kinda have a take on all this and idk if that's just how it feels to me, but that's what I wanna know. (I don't think this actually happened, but it's the vibes it is all giving)

So it started when I told my mom about First Class (keep reading I'm gonna get to apocalypse eventually) and we came to the conclusion that it feels like they wrote the script, looked at it again and thought:

"Hmm, this seems pretty gay.. Erik and Charles both have no female love interests and they have those lines that seem pretty romantic. Also, Erik seems almost obsessed with Charles at the end with how overprotective he is. Let's fix that!"

And then they gave both of them a kiss with a woman they weren't interested in and added the line "We're brothers, you and I" and then were proud of how well they "saved" it.

And then they made Days of Future Past and didn't even think of it, but when it came out they saw how people were shipping it and then they were like "oh shitt"

And in the first hour of the movie, I thought they were just doing all of this stuff to "erase" any potential gayness people thought there was and wanted to make sure nobody got the wrong idea about the recent movies. But it was more the reminder they like women, before the EXTREME GAYNESS in the second half.

(This is getting so much more unserious than initially intended💀)

Anyways, Apocalypse.

Either I missed something or Erik settling down and HIDING makes NO SENSE. In the last timeline it was 100% clear that he'd never stop believing in what he did, he would never stop fighting his war. So yes, this is a different timeline, but there is no reason given why he suddenly decides to try Charles way. He failed in Days of Future Past and Charles let him go, but there is no way that's enough. And they played this off like that isn't the thing they both wanted since forever and never seemed possible. Being on the same side. Erik switching to Charles side is insane, why wouldn't he talk to Charles in all those years then?

I can't believe they threw away everything that IS Erik, just so he had a reason to be angry enough to join the guy.

(They also died in such a weird/lame way)

And Charles and I still don't really know her name😭.. I have to admit the scenes where Charles was nervous were cute, but that's just because Charles is adorable. But in First Class she was obviously only there for the plot, in Days of Future Past, she wasn't even mentioned and in Apocalypse, she was, again, only there for the plot. She literally doesn't say anything the entire movie after the beginning. She has like two lines. And in the end fight, she's just standing there. And then Charles makes her remember and the flashbacks are soo bad, BC THEY HAD NO MOMENTS. (Especially bc you can compare it to Erik's flashbacks, we're gonna get to that)

(I don't think I have to say it, but to be sure. I have absolutely nothing against straight couples. I don't care if it's gay or not. But if one of them were a woman, I wouldn't be writing this. I just hate how often they prefer to write a heterosexual couple that has no chemistry at all instead of making the two guys/girls kiss.)

Let's talk about the ending. Sometimes when I talk about this stuff I'm a little worried that I interpret things wrong bc I want it to be like that and I'm not being objective anymore, but I was proven right so many times in this. When Mystique and Erik kissed in First Class, it felt really weird to me because Erik obviously had no interest in her. (I suppose it was to show her she's beautiful) And that was pretty much proven right when she talks to him and he barely reacts to what she's saying. I also thought that he probably didn't know Charles was dying, bc he wouldn't let that happen. Then Mystique says "Charles" and suddenly he does show a reaction and when she's gone, he has those god damn flashbacks. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T A ROMANTIC PLOT?😭 and then the specific one of Charles turning away and leaving him. (Could be a metaphor for Charles giving up on him) THAT'S WHAT GOT HIM.

And they make it even more clear when Mystique is dying and Erik doesn't react, but when Charles is dying, is when he steps in.

Ending was cute, but damnn the "you can make me do anything" was crazy.

(This turned out soo long, I've never been so obsessed with something.)

[borahaerhy]

HII I SAW UR REQUESTS ARE OPEN I LITERALLY YELLED$;@/! Do u think u can write jk x reader where he’s oc’s brothers best friend. One day while they go watch jk’s game oc’s brother leaves early for some random reason but oc wants to stay. When the games over jk and oc have all this sexual tension (especially w a sweaty jk in front of her🫠🫠) and decide its time to do something abt it and it just ends in smut and fluff in the locker rooms!?!?! (if u can could u please make jk give oc his team shirt and oc is wearing nothing but that) 🤭🤭

Of course :))

If Anyone Asks

Genre: SMUT, Fluff, best friends brother AU

Warnings: Y/n's brother is oblivious, Jungkook is not very good at hiding his feelings, a lot of sexual tension, smut, oral (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (absolutely not), locker room sex, slight (unintentional) edging, these two are fucking desperate, some more implied sex at the end.

Word count: 3K

Note: not proofread, we die like men (I'll fix it tomorrow)

“You wanna come to Jungkook’s game with me tonight?” You looked up at your brother, who was half leaned into your room. You plastered a scowl onto your face as you turned your attention back to your laptop. 

“Why would I want to hang out with you at your lame friends football game?” This is a bluff, there is nothing you want more than to have an excuse to go to your brother's lame friends football game. He sighed, taking his hand off the door and sliding it in his pocket, his head hung low before he looked back up at you. 

“Because my girlfriend had something come up and can’t go with me,” You sat idly, knowing you just had to stick it out a little bit longer- “I’ll pay for your ticket and get you dinner on the way home.” 

A smile spread across your face as you closed your laptop and slid it off your lap. “I’ll be ready in twenty minutes.” 

He stepped out of your room, closing the door behind him as you stood up to get ready. 

You had been looking for the perfect excuse to go to tonight's game, as it was the last one of the season; and just when you thought all hope was lost, your brother comes barging in and pays you to do it. Gotta love siblings. 

Jungkook and your brother had been best friends since they started high school, when you were still a year behind them in middle school. You were really good at finding excuses for hanging out with them when you were younger: your friends ditched you, you were bored and your gameboy was dead, your mom told you to - just about anything believable to be able to spend time with Jungkook. 

Even in middle school, everyone knew who he was and would talk about him constantly; the pretty boy with endless talent that was still somehow a perfect gentleman. He was the perfect guy on paper, and in person, he was even better. 

As the years went on, he got more and more attractive, and caught on to more and more of your excuses. After a while, he started making up his own to get to hang out with you, and a few times, to get to hang out with you without your brother. 

One time, you walked into your brothers room when he was over to get help with your homework. It was an innocent enough request, and you truly did need help with your homework, but Jungkook practically jumped out of his seat to come help you while your brother thanked him, glad to not have to be burdened by you. 

The two of you sat at the kitchen table way closer than two people studying should have been. Your legs were practically sprawled across his lap as you both leaned over the same paper, his voice low as he tried explaining advanced calculus to you, but neither of you were paying attention to a word he said. 

By the time your parents walked in and you both jumped up to avoid getting caught, you were centimeters away from sticking your tongue down his throat. 

This wasn’t the only occasion of its kind; you’d almost jumped each other dozens of times, but always either stopped yourselves out of fear of your brother finding out, or straight up almost been caught in the act. 

“Two students, please,” You shoved your hands deeper into your pockets as your brother bought the tickets, already regretting the decision to just wear a hoodie over your thin crop top and ripped jeans. 

You both walked over to the bleachers where everyone was already seated as the players were about to come out of the locker rooms. You sat up in the front row, only a few meters away from the field, the cold metal of the bleachers making it almost impossible to pay attention to the players pouring out onto the field only moments after you sat down. 

The game started and the crowd cheered, parents and friends of the players yelling so loud the band right in front of you could barely be heard. You got up and yelled when everyone else did, but if you were being honest, you had no idea what was going on. You usually spent most of these games just looking for Jungkook, which wasn’t hard considering he had a giant number one plastered on his jersey. 

Before you knew it, it was halftime. All the players rushed back into the locker rooms, and you and Taehyung both pulled out your phones to pass time before the game resumed. 

“Shit,” You looked over to your brother, who was looking at the messages his girlfriend had sent him over the last hour that the game had been going on. 

“Something happen?” He ignored you, instead typing on his phone faster than you thought humanly possible. Soon he was standing and rushing out of the bleachers right as the door of the locker room opened and Jungkook stepped out, his helmet off and wet hair slicked back, eyebrows furrowed as he met your brother at the base of the bleachers. 

You continued to look over at them as they spoke quickly. Jungkook simply nodded at whatever he said before returning back to the locker room, and your brother ran back over to you from the outside of the bleachers. You kneeled down so that you were eye level with him as he made his way over to you. 

“What’s going on?” 

“I have to go, girlfriend texted, so, Jungkook’s gonna take you home after the game, cool?” Before you could even respond, he was giving you a thumbs up as he ran off. 

You didn’t know whether to be annoyed or excited to have to get a ride with Jungkook, but one thing was for sure; by the time the game was over, it was almost pure anxiety. 

This is the first time you and Jungkook would be alone, truly alone, since you’d met him. If anything was going to happen, it would probably happen tonight, especially after the steep victory his team just had. 

You wanted until most of the people left the bleachers in a rush before you stood and made your way over to the locker room doors. A few people stood around them, waiting for their friends to come out so they could go off and celebrate their victory. It didn’t take long for everyone to come out. Everyone except Jungkook, that is.

Everyone else had left, minus a few stragglers and people still packing up their things from the stands. You stood with your arms wrapped tightly around you, foot tapping to try to warm yourself up from the freezing temperature. You were so focused on the cold, you hadn’t really noticed your phone vibrating in your pocket. 

“Y/n,” You quickly looked over to the door, where Jungkook’s head was peeking out. He nodded his head in the direction of the inside, asking you to follow him back in. You moved quickly, mostly just thinking about how warm it probably was in there, not the fact that Jungkook just invited you into the now very empty locker rooms with him. 

“Sorry, I know it’s really cold out there, I sent you a text-” 

“Oh, sorry, I must not have heard it,” He shook his head, dismissing your apology with a wave as he walked further into the room, rounding a corner to where his bag was set on a bench. 

“It’s fine, I just can’t find my keys, thought you might be more comfortable waiting in here, that hoodie definitely isn’t warm enough for this weather,” He almost immediately started rifling through his bag again, and only then did you realize that he wasn’t wearing a shirt. 

He had probably just gotten done taking a shower, his hair wet and his jeans hung low on his hips, his uniform being pulled from his bag and tossed aside as he dug through it. You cleared your throat slightly as you straightened yourself up, averting your gaze from the muscles bulging from Jungkook’s shoulders. 

“My jacket’s plenty warm, thank you very much,” You spoke very matter-of-factly, though it was a complete lie, as you had been freezing for most of the evening. Jungkook chuckled as he continued emptying his bag. 

“No,” he paused, shaking his head as he looked up, his eyes peeking through the thick strands of hair that hung in his face. “It isn’t,” You furrowed your eyebrows, looking down at the jacket that had been your brothers, wondering how in the fuck he would know how warm it was. 

“How do you know-” 

“It’s my jacket,” The smile on his face from his previous chuckle had morphed into a slight smirk as he tried to keep himself from getting turned on by the fact that you had been wearing his jacket for the entire damn game. 

“It’s my brothers-” You were cut off by Jungkook shaking his head, now standing fully upright as he pushed his hair back out of his eyes. 

“I left it at your house a few months ago and just never got it back,” He shrugged as he looked down at the hoodie before looking back up at your face. Without really thinking much, you unzipped the jacket and began to take it off, completely forgetting that the shirt you were wearing under it was a tank top that revealed the entirety of your stomach, and was practically see-through. 

“Here, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-” Jungkook quickly stepped toward you, grabbing the sides of the hoodie and pulling them back together. You had already slid it off your shoulders, so closing the front of the jacket didn’t do much to cover up your cleavage that he was now having a much harder time ignoring. 

“Keep it,” His voice was soft and deep as he tried his best to control himself, but that was seemingly impossible with how close to you he was right now. “It looks better on you,” You swallowed thickly as you both tried to keep your eyes from traveling south on the others body.

Thankfully, you both happened to fail at the same time. 

“You know,” Jungkook’s breathing hitched as he spoke, his eyes lingering at your chest for a second longer than you, his words bringing your attention back up to his eyes. “It was really hard for me to focus on the game, with you sitting up there in the front row, wearing my hoodie, yelling my name every time I got my hands on the ball,” his eyes scanned your face as his hands moved from the hoodie to you, gently sliding down your body until he reached your hips, moving the fabric of his jacket up as he moved. 

“You seemed to do fine anyways,” Your voice came out barely above a whisper, the smirk slowly returning to his face as he took notice to all the ways he affected you. You were very responsive to his touch. 

“I would’ve done better if I wasn’t constantly looking up to see if you were still there, to see if you were still watching me,” Your hands met his biceps as he gently pulled you into him, the heat radiating of his body affecting you much more than you’d like to admit. 

“Then next time I just won’t come, if I’m such a distraction,” His smirk returned as he almost completely eliminated any space left between you, your back now pressed firmly against the wall. 

“We can’t have that,” All the tension that had been built up had finally began to diminish as his lips found yours, his movements soft and gentle as one of his hands raised to your face, cupping you cheek gently as you leaned into him. “I’ll just have to get used to you being there,” You broke away for only a second before you were back on each other, much more desperate this time as you pressed yourselves firmly against one another, hands tangling in whatever they could get to. 

The jacket was pushed from your arms and fell to the floor, pooling around your feet before Jungkook hooked his hands under your thighs, lifting your legs to wrap around his waist as he pressed you further into the wall, his hands gripping onto you as tight as he could while still being careful not to hurt you. 

A small whine fell from your lips as he unintentionally ground his hips to yours, the sound only encouraging him to press further into you. Your thin top and bra soon met the jacket on the floor as you drank in each other's heat, every bit of your torsos touching the other’s as possible as your arms covered his neck and back. 

Jungkook gently lowered your legs before his hands hastily unbuttoned and pulled down your jeans, your black lacy thong not lasting long after as he kneeled down in front of you, your knee hooked over his shoulder as he nibbled at your inner thigh. You moaned lightly, biting down on your lip as you instinctively moved your hips towards his face. 

He chuckled against your thigh before his left met your clit, sucking softly as you pushed you back against the wall. You arched your back, one hand moving up to your mouth as the other tangled in his hair, pulling him further into you as his tongue gently traced around your aching nub. 

His movements began to speed up as one of his lengthy fingers slid into you, your arousal allowing him to glide in easily. He pumped himself gently into you, letting his lips and tongue do most of the worst as he peered up at you from between strands of hair. He so easily brought you so close to your orgasm, but before you could finish, he pulled away from you, standing up so quickly that his lips were on yours before you could protest. 

You both worked to remove his jeans, and soon they landed amongst the pile of your clothes along with his boxers, and his cock was between your thighs, gathering your slick as he thrust himself against you; his tip rutting against your clit with perfect precision. 

“Y/n, fuck, are you sure-” 

“Just get inside me, Jungkook,” He quickly obliged, changing his angle slightly before he picked up your leg, wrapping it around him as he pushed into you, your cunt fitting around him perfectly. 

“Oh my fuck, Y/n,” he kissed you roughly, his fingers digging into the skin of your thigh as he thrust roughly into you. “You’re so good, baby,” Jungkook’s words came out in more of a growl as his thrusts quickly got harsher. You both moaned aggressively, never wanting to stop now that you’ve started. 

Your orgasm quickly built itself back up, your walls clenching around him harshly as you tried desperately not to let yourself cum yet, but Jungkook’s ruthless pace made that harder and harder to do by the second. 

“Fuck,” You moaned out loudly as your high crashed into you, Jungkook helping you stay upright as your legs buckled with the pleasure that moved through you. He lifted your other leg and wrapped it around his waist along with the other one, holding you up as you leaned back against the wall. 

His speed only increased as you came, and even as you came down, you found yourself already biting back another one as you watched him fuck into you, every muscle in his arms and torso flexed gorgeously. 

“Mm gonna cum baby,” He moved back into you, dropping one of your legs as he moved you both closer to the wall. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” He pulls himself out of you, his forhead pressed against yours as he finishes on the wall behind you, moans ripping through both of you. 

You silently come down from what was probably the most intense sexual encounter of your life, the only sound filling the room is your heavy breathing as you hold each other. 

“So, you’re my girlfriend now, right?” Jungkook’s brows are furrowed as he questions you, eyes flicking back and forth between yours with a very serious intensity to them. You chuckled lightly as you adjusted your posture, trying to bring yourself to stand straight up as you nod your head gently. 

“Sure, Kookie; as long as you’re the one to tell my brother,” Jungkook hung his head, letting it rest on your chest for a few seconds before he brought himself back up, both of you with stupid grins plastered on your faces. 

“Fine, I’ll tell him tomorrow when we hang out. But,” Jungkook holds up one of his fingers as he backs up and turns around, riffling through his bag once again for a second before he holds up his jersey. “You have to wear this,” You cock a brow at him, but he doesn’t leave much room for protest as he slips it on over your head. 

You roll your eyes, but slip your arms through the holes and pull it the rest of the way down, it going down past your ass and being significantly baggier than you had anticipated. Jungkook takes a step back, eyeing you up and down as he gently bites his lip. Your face starts to heat up with his eyes on you, but he soon pulls you into him, lips crashing to yours as his hands travel up the jersey. 

“Fuck it, if anyone asks,” He pushes his bag from the bench, it landing on the ground and its contents spilling everywhere, the sound of keys rattling against the floor meeting your ears as he lays you down on the bench, the tip of his hardening dick rubbing against your still sensitive clit. “The game ran long.”

[whatshereforme]

Since watching the new season of heartstopper ive been playing around with labels again (which I haven’t done since a friend I trusted basically shut me down and told me I can’t just be something without having “tried all my options first” ew). I’m always scared to relabel or try identifying as something other than what I’m comfortable being because I feel like I owe everyone consistency

When I was 15 (I’m 21 rn) I came out as lesbian and honestly I was so comfortable with that and how people perceived me and I kinda loved how my male friends (which I had a lot of back then) treated me. The downside was how the black community treated me, I was mostly in the closet to them but the closet was very much transparent (they could always tell I wasn’t straight lol)

The year I turned 18 I started identifying as bisexual, largely because I thought I might like my male best friend. I proposed the idea and he asked me out almost immediately. We dated for exactly 7 days before I realized I wasn’t really into him like I thought. Downside to this era was the comments my male friends would make about “bisexual girls” to me. The only thing was that I was too scared to start identifying as lesbian again because I had come out to all my friends as bi already.

So I carried that label until now (a few people I know still think I’m probably lesbian still lol). The reason I felt comfortable in this label was because I had just turned 18. I went clubbing and did some excessive drinking for the past few years and being bi gave me an excuse to drunkenly make out with random men on nights out. I still don’t know how I feel about men to this day I guess (I’ve always known I’m romantically attracted to women but I’m always on the fence about men, it’s a bit weird)

My trouble came with the fact that I’m not keen on hooking up with people. No matter their gender I’m just not super excited about the concept of “intercourse” or any of the stuff that comes with it. When the last season of Sex Education came out I watched it with a friend and offhandedly made a joke about being ace in reference to one of the characters and she went “you can’t be ace you just haven’t had sex yet” and that literally sent me spiraling for days and I just pushed the feeling down and ignored it

Earlier this year though I was having one of my late night talks with my little sister because we had a sleepover in the living room. I made a joke about how I’m probably never gonna be in a relationship ever because I don’t really wanna have sex and she asked me if I was being serious. I said yes and she said “there will definitely be people out there that will be with you even if you don’t wants sex, you need to stop being such a dramatic bitch lol”. That was obviously really reassuring to hear someone I love tell me it’s ok to not want sex, even if that person is my straight 17 year old sister.

I’ve been very afraid of being openly asexual because I’m scared no one will love me if I can’t give them sex but also I know I’m capable of loving people without them giving me sex but that’s only because I don’t want sex in the first place. I just feel I will personally be unlovable.

Anyway back to heartstopper. Imogen’s journey with comp het was very much relatable for obvious reasons as I had gone through all that by that age (and am still deliberating to this day if I just crave male attention, which is sad I wish I was still as confident as I was at 16 to know but life took over lol) and of course Issac’s journey with dealing with the affects of being aroace in a world that revolves around romantic relationships and conditions us to believe we need to want sex and romance. I had already read solitaire, Loveless and Radio Silence when I was in secondary school. Radio silence was the first time I felt so utterly seen in a character. That being Aled Last (mostly relating in our similar relationships with our mums). And then I read loveless and it literally put me off kilter of months. To see Georgia’s journey had me reflecting on everything I was taught about relationships and sex and friendships (but then I had exams and graduation and had to put that self revelation on hold lol)

All this to say, I’m deciding from today that I want to identify as Asexual. I know labels can be limiting to some people and they have been to me for that past few years as well but I think being ace is something I have to go to be true to myself. I’m definitely not coming out of the closet anymore I’m too tired of thinking I owe that to people but I’m going to try be honest with myself.

[thefirstlioveyou]

isn’t it interesting that for a good majority of audience, all a straight relationship has to do to be considered peak fiction or writing is to make out and have an unhealthy dynamic that loser cishet men can self insert themselves in? for general audiences, these ships don’t need to prove themselves why they’re good - they just have to be a boy and a girl.

but then you got a fully fleshed out dynamic between two characters of the same sex, where their endgame fulfills their personal arcs and are meant to be; they just work, all while still reaching their full potential as characters. but instead of support and, y’know, basic media literacy, it’s always, “why is everything gay now? why can’t they just be friends?” well, because they only ever are! that’s why!

maybe it’s because i’m queer and will naturally be drawn to media i can resonate with, but it’s incredibly rare for me to believe there’s romance in a fictional het ship. it’s almost always souless, always the same formula. there’s no effort to make the audience fall in love along with them. don’t get me wrong, there are queer relationships that also feel poorly written and i cannot seem to be drawn to, but i’ve never experienced this the same amount of times i have with a het ship; not even close.

however, i never felt this way watching stranger things. lumax, jopper, jancy - they are absolutely believable romances. there’s conflict, there’s reason why they love each other. but most of all, the relationship takes its time to grow. the writers understand pacing is an important factor for writing romance.

this is why mileven always seemed so different from the rest, and why it was always destined to fail because of it. it was forced. literally in the narrative, it is pushed upon mike by his friends. el is kissed and because she sees mike in this pedastal from her trauma regarding male caregivers, she follows through and grows an unhealthy dynamic from the understanding of love she’s only ever been familar with. i genuinely believe she never would have seen him in a romantic light if he hadn’t kissed her. and finally, their character arcs just cannot be fulfilled if they continue to stay together - they just can’t. they just go back to square one with zero growth.

there is no actual appeal to the ship. it was cute the first season! but… that’s it? they kept getting pulled away from each other by the story itself, so they get like no time together. and the time they do, they’re busy breaking up. they have no common interests, they can’t give each other what they want/need, they unintentionally trigger each other’s traumas, still have yet to connect on a personal level.

but, i guess that’s what you call beautifully written television romance.. i guess that’s where we are.

[skaruresonic]

So Sonic 3's trailer finally dropped today. Any thoughts on it?

I had zero hype for this film because I didn't like the previous two and had no reason to believe this one would turn out any different. Lo and behold! ...it doesn't.

There's so much I could talk about.

• The shameless digging up of the corpse of my favorite Sonic game just to dress it up Norman Bates-style. Why yes, I love getting butchered adaptations of SA2 shoved down my throat. Keep 'em coming.

• The fact that the overly-furry aesthetic Paramount chose for Sonic and the other anthros still looks plug-ugly to my eyes no matter how much I try to get acclimated to it. In fact, it somehow looks even worse here than it did in previous movies.

• The fact that they ripped off a scene from Matrix Revolutions. Interesting choice, lmao.

• Jimbotnik continuing to register as "Jim Carrey in a costume" and not as Eggman.

• Agent Stone continuing to be a nothingburger of a character aside from being a living footstool for Jimbotnik. I thought everybody said he was going to be 3's main antagonist. Why is he even here.

• Jimbotnik calling Gerald "Pop-Pop," cutesy-ing it up for no real reason, when Eggman simply called him "grandpa" at most in the games. What, is his grandfather Mike Ehrmantraut now?

• The original game's "fuck the police" angle now being ignored in favor of maybe making GUN look like the good guys (what?).

• The fact that the ARK, an iconic location, is nowhere in sight is making me more than a tad apprehensive. Idk if this thing is supposed to replace it:

• This one really steams my hams: the fact that Paramount portrays Jimbotnik's weight gain via hateful stereotypes of fat men which the games do not employ in their overall portrayal of Eggman. It reflects a fatphobic attitude I could have told you was the case years ago judging by the fact that they cast a thin man in the role.

Games!Eggman is stylish and immaculately groomed, but Jimbotnik has to be a slob who dresses like The Dude just because he gained a little weight. Of course. 🙄

It really bothers me because Eggman is quite possibly one of the only examples of positive fat male representation I can point to, and they can't even let him be a little fat onscreen without literally exposing his belly with the intent to make fun of him in ways the games seldom do, if ever.

God fucking forbid he actually weighs the 281 lbs. he does in canon; Paramount would probably portray him like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers.

In lieu of being portrayed as dumb and weak, as is usually the case for fat male characters, Games!Eggman is portrayed as cunning, intelligent, powerful (physically and mentally), and stylish in a way that commands respect, despite whatever this Chili's says to discredit him. Eggman is fucking cool, and y'all are tripping if you don't think so.

• The fact that this movie is probably going to be cringe on the basis of its constant bathos-inducing insistence on making the characters crack mistimed jokes during serious moments.

• Doing a double take when Sonic called Shadow an "alien," possibly realizing that "alien" is the film universe's designation for anthros, then promptly short-circuiting and catching on fire. Can we not.

• Why does the trailer insist on making Shadow look like a wet cat? They did not deep-freeze my boy like they did in the games. Games!Shadow emerged from stasis minty-fresh, whereas Movie!Shadow looks like a newborn kitten yeeted straight out of the womb:

Disgustang. Stop that.

• The fact that everyone gives '06 flack for aesthetic whiplash but thinks Shadow looking like a muppet beside an irl little girl is fine, actually:

And the fact that said little girl may be killed just making dead Maria jokes 10x more uncomfortable than they need to be.

• They missed an opportunity for a fun visual gag by having the bathroom sign read "occupied" instead of "eggupied" or "hatching" (as in hatching a scheme. or a shit. maybe both, lol). Something like that:

They can pay homage to the Akira bike slide and the Super Burly Brawl from Matrix Revolutions, but God forbid we actually allude to Sonic games :v

---

...But most of this can be boiled down to "Paramount gonna Paramount."

All in all, I'm likely to continue my time-honored tradition of seeing the movie when it releases in theaters because deep down, I'm still a Sonic whore and subsequently pretending the films don't exist thereafter lol

[vanmarkus]

10 and 14 - @bucksbignaturals :)

hii arti <333

10. worst part of fanon

the way people who claim to love Eddie mischaracterise him or just straight up ignore all his flaws and wrongdoingss, only to put the blame and responsibility on literally everyone else in his life.

i love Eddie's character because he is flawed beyond belief and fucked up so many times even he couldn't count it and he still tries to do the right thing every time, it's admirable and it's interesting to watch and people take away so much from him by sanitising his character.

(also when people only pay attention to his cultural background when it comes to sex and even then they make him use endearments that no one else but 70yo grannies would use for children but alas)

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

crying over stuff the characters would not cry over. just cuz we love to see it in canon, there is always a good reason for it — which a lot of fics just straight up skip.

like, you can write whatever you want of course, but it will never be believable to me that Buck or Eddie would start crying out of sheer... i don't even know what, while confessing to each other or not even that, just thinking about the other... like, please.

there is no emotional pay off if there is no build up and i love that the show lets them be emotional and cry when the situation calls for it... but those are always life and death situations and deep, deep generational traumas and not... 30+yo men telling someone that they "like-like them"

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

[satisaranea]

THE HUNGER GAMES HEADCANONS (DISTRICT 12)

@mollywog @districtunrest i know you both wrote asks with an interest in seeing them so hi!!

they are oriented as district 12 specfic but here are just some general fun ones I've garnered (feel free to ask me for my other ones, but the only reason these are specfic are because i don't have a lot)

KATNISS

for one, i've very much been set on katniss being on the spectrum/autistic because i can see a lot of my experiences as a ND person reflected in her interactions and personality. truthfully, i don't know if she'd officially get a diagnosis until post-war or ever pursue one at all.

i definitely agree that her injuries and the aftermath of the firebombing within mockingjay causes her to cut her hair short due to it being choppy and layered post-bombing (with a lot of hesitancy & anger as her hair was an important thing for her (especially her braid,) and with the loss of it comes ties to a lot of memories. i also think it would affect her deeply as i do headcanon that the people of the seam have native heritage, and her long hair was a show of such.

katniss seems to me as if she'd be aromantic or aspec, with her sexuality not entirely figured out, but i also think that could change overtime. i've always both liked everlark & eversee (madge & katniss,) so i think she could be bi-questioning.

i believe she'd take up pottery post-war, finding an interest in sculpting things with her bare hands and being able to control customizations within the home. something gentle and therapeutic that doesn't have any bad attachments.

to reclaim parts of her identity, i think katniss would eventually come around to painting her nails and wearing dresses of her choosing, but nothing too outwardly feminine. i think she takes comfort over appearance when it comes to her wardrobe, and i think she would definitely be more of a trousers person than skirts.

PEETA

honestly, i don't find myself having a lot of headcanons for peeta, but one that i do hold very dear to me is him being trans (specifically transmasculine.)

i think it's a thing that his family struggled to grapple with, especially with 2 sons already and the loss of a daughter they never had. his work in the bakery is amplified to meet that boyish physicality, but i also think that his features would hold some sort of androgyny already before his transition. post-games (the 74th,) i think he would've gotten top-surgery, with the possibility of a phalloplasty to follow. from that, i think he'd choose to keep the scars on either his arm or (good) leg.

i think he'd eventually get into more culinary dishes post-war, widening his cooking and also discovering a wider love for such things.

HAYMITCH

disclaimer: i have so many headcanons for him & cannot possibly fit them here. so here are the surface level ones!

first and foremost, i believe haymitch has quite long hair, his curls being his most striking feature as men within the seam often have pin-straight hair. i also think that it's one of his more attractive qualities, as i believe that he is able to take care of it a good deal.

i've always pictured him to have a bump in his nose, either because its naturally, or because he's broken it before. + i think he's got a natural clumsiness (one reason being because i headcanon him to be around 6'1-6'2 & doorframes are literally a common enemy but also because i just feel like it makes sense. super intelligent but will not see a crack in the pavement and will trip.) still shorter than chaff however, he's probably like 6'4 ..

sexuality wise, bisexual with no particular lean and no preference in partners. however, I've always stuck by him being celibate because i think it goes with his solitary attitude & that social wall he's built for himself but also for other reasons (such as the victor trafficking rink.) i usually pair him shipping-wise with hazelle or chaff (no death happened here guys .. like none)

post-war i believe he gets sober or at least heals his relationship with alcohol, and while the process is tedious, the payoff is a spot of health and stability. (because he does deserve it!) he's also got a fiesty ginger cat he found as a kitten called whiskey who is actively bent on scaring the geese and eating his food.

as a young boy (so around 14-16,) i've always felt that he'd take to woodwork and woodcarving (inherited from his father,) and would learn to make things such as bows, traps and knife handles. this enhances his hunting skills but also gives him an ability to create small wooden sculptures for his younger brother.

at the time of his games, full-body polishes weren't available & so he has all scars regarding his games, and also ones post and prior. he doesn't enjoy living with them, but they serve a reminder of who he is and each struggle he's faced. like badges of honor.

hi so as you can i see i am sooo normal about them.. my favs... let me know if you want more district oriented stuff!

[v171]

Man sometimes it just takes one interaction with a deeply straight person to remind myself why I don't often surround myself with non queer people.

Went to an annual pumpkin carving party with some of my coworkers last night. In attendance was a former coworker of mine who I'm friendly with, and his fiancee. Now I'd met the fiancee before at the same pumpkin carving party for the past two years, but aside from being mildly eccentric, she was always interesting to talk to.

This year she is pregnant, and we got on the topic of parenthood in general. There are some key quotes from that conversation.

"The father does not need to be involved with the baby for the first three years of life. There's literally no reason. He should be solely focused on supporting the family financially, and the baby only needs the mother."

"Women aren't equipped to be providers, it's not in our nature. It is the man's role to support the family and the woman's role to provide emotionally. Men aren't capable and should not be expected to have emotional attachments."

[in reference to a 32 year old coworker of mine being sexually harassed at work by a 60 year old man who was later fired]

"I mean it's all you can expect from men, and honestly it's refreshing to see a man break the rules to fight for a woman he's interested in. That's a good quality."

"I don't believe we live in a patriarchal society because women still have to work. I wish we did though because then society would push for men to provide and support their families, but I don't believe any man gets the things he works for just because he's a man. He gets opportunities that women don't because he's biologically equipped for success in ways that women aren't."

I was full on drunk but I was still making 👀👀👀 at whomever would make eye contact with me. The wildest thing is that this woman was not like """conservative""" or seemingly political at all. She talked frequently about doing party drugs, and signaling other "liberal proxy" beliefs. If anything, she was on the crunchy mom kick, but she is also Russian (her parents are from there but I believe she grew up in the US. However, her elder son speaks exclusively Russian so she is presumably deeply involved in her Russian heritage) which, by her own admission, is an influence on a lot of her beliefs.

It's just this jarring reminder that you can know someone for three years, but you learn one day that they have shockingly backwards worldviews that you just didn't know about because it never came up in conversation.

It honestly makes me feel a bit bad for straight couples who, I imagine, step on these personified landmines way more often than queer people do when making friends since queers at least have a much higher chance of aligning on politics and worldviews out of the box. And anecdotally, we just way overshare and develop deep connections faster than cis het men do. I can't imagine making friends with someone and then realizing months or years later that they believe with their full chest that men are incapable of expressing emotion, or that toxins can be unclogged with essential oils or something insane like that.

[dragonsdendoodles]

Any and all of your ocs

Idk anything about them but they look really cool so I wanna learn about them!!

Speedrunning fun facts about all my main OCs because I’ve got four stories’ worth of them (plus a few others) and that’s a lot to go into actual detailed shit about every single one of them

These might be weird I’m sorry I’m literally writing the first thing that comes to mind and most of them are gonna be stupid

No Stone Unturned

Kylee initially had an emo hairstyle because I couldn’t figure out how to draw curly hair

Andromeda wrote her own magic system and has an IRL notebook dedicated to that magic system

Jay is the only character I have that I have ever drawn in his current state naked and fully uncensored (mostly for projected gender dysphoria reasons)

Lucy was the first character to be added to the initial cast when I decided the earliest draft of NSU needed a rewrite

Winter was involved in Jay’s fun fact but I’m 19 years old and too much of a coward to draw dicks

Kaitlin has half a page of my sketchbook dedicated to my inability to decide on a good hairstyle for her

Carson uses all pronouns and actively makes fun of you if you just default to “he” and nothing else

Mason used to be clinically insane but then I looked at that and said “if I make my main villain the villain because he’s insane that’s probably ableist” and that’s on self-awareness

No Stone Unturned: Fauna’s Epilogue (co-written by my friend Parker)

Fauna is Andromeda’s niece and the daughter of the two oldest human OCs I have. She is the closest any of the original gang will ever come to having children of their own

Neo is probably the only straight man I have ever written

Crystal injects herself with actual adrenaline to learn to control harpy mode. Jay, another harpy, is incredibly fucking pissed at himself for not figuring this out when eventually this works

Maddie is Winter’s niece from his dad’s second family (technically the first but we’re not doing Winter angst right now)

Leah’s a Twitch streamer

Adalaide’s mom has a crush on one of Fauna’s dads and refuses to let this go to the point he got a restraining order

Logan is a catboy. Canonically.

Aster had an on-and-off fling with Neo for a couple years that didn’t go anywhere because Neo doesn’t actually like men

Colton was inspired by JD from Heathers

The Jewels in His Crown

Pallas was not named after the actual Greek character, but after the version of that character in Joan Holub and Suzanne Williams’ The Goddess Girls

Kayda can turn into a big silver dragon. Yes that does mean what you think it means and yes Pallas is into it

Henry did all of the things he does for the story, including being abandoned and betrayed by his twin sister, at the ripe old age of thirteen

Joan was initially based on someone I know in real life who I had a massive falling out with that hadn’t been resolved when I wrote her

Lucimene was named by my boyfriend, whose favorite character in No Stone Unturned is Lucy

Aurora is here because I wanted Lucimene to be a lesbian

James has had multiple names and I still don’t know if I like his current one. Initially it was Patroclus

Muddy was initially an idea for a Dungeons and Dragons character

Luke was named after Luke Skywalker, because he also has a sister

Lorelei was named after my evident misspelling of Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls

Elementary (co-written by @pollux888)

Vincent figure skates and skateboards

Jackson’s name was initially going to be Apollo

Lily was based on one of my exes who yelled at me for being a trans gay man only to come out as a trans lesbian six months later

Gallace was initially based on Glaceon but currently shares a name with my Gallade in both Pokémon Go and Pokémon Legends Arceus

Alex’s hair as a Mii in Tomodachi Life is neon pink

Leo has a very similar powerset to Leo Valdez but was not named after him if you can believe it

Enoch was named after Enoch O’Connor from Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Michael was named after Michael Mell from Be More Chill

Miscellaneous

Limbo was my first ever fursona

Omega was named by my mother who does not know what a/b/o is (to my knowledge) because “he’s the last velociraptor”

Petal and Omega are were both initially a closed species that I didn’t know was closed and had a mental breakdown learning this fact because when I was thirteen I thought the cops were going to arrest me for copyright infringement

Ocean is a manokit because I wanted them to be a shark but a furry game I cannot for the life of me remember the name of had manokits and I thought they were cooler

Requiem was created when I changed my username to dragonryder21 and decided I probably needed a dragon fursona to go with it

Lux taught my mother what neopronouns were

Currentcall (Warrior Cats) was renamed from Riverpelt/Riverstar to Currentpelt to Currentcall all by fanmade games on Scratch

Sombra (Minecraft) was named after King Sombra from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Greenjay (MPHFPC) doesn’t currently have a first name

My currently nameless MLP sona has always been a pegasus for as long as I can remember. I just like pegasi I guess

[archer-kacey]

Joey Drew is Gay and there's no way around it (Pt 4)

After Henry was gone, Joey moved forward building the studio, expanding slowly and snatching up any poor hapless bisexuals he could trick. This brings us to Sammy.

There are a lot of moving parts in the "Sammy Chapter", but they all work together to paint a...not very straight picture.

Joey approaches him at a party and they start up a conversation. Sammy recognizes him because he always sat in the front row of the Grand Cinema where he played, and the conversation then turns to Joey recruiting Sammy.

Joey wasn't even thinking about the music department before he ran into Sammy, only knowing that he needed "some musicians."

Of course, Sammy was undoubtedly talented, but I find it VERY interesting that Joey was so quickly inspired to get him on board. Hell, Sammy insists on seeing the studio right after meeting him, and he has to quickly pretend to have his shit together long enough to keep him interested.

It's worth noting that, given the way Joey (likely) felt about Henry, he's very quick to slide in a "look at my special new super talented and AWESOME (boy)friend that you could never be!!" whenever he gets the chance.

See, Joey actually goes on a very bitter tangent about Henry in the middle of talking about Sammy, and IMMEDIATELY follows it up with "Sammy Lawrence was one of my best decisions." (which...???????)

Joey reminisces quite a lot (and with a certain romantic charge) about Sammy, how great he was to have at the studio and how talented he was (sprinkled in with the occasional weirdly specific comments on things like his hair.

Please get back on track sir, you have the attention span of a gnat.)

And to cap off the "Sammy Chapter", we see a very strange but endearing interaction between Joey and Sammy.

Cut to a couple pages later, and we're hit with this line,

Not only did Sammy inspire him to start the music department, he also fed into an unhealthy god complex in Joey, which I'm sure will pan out just fine.

Sammy doesn't have to exert any effort for Joey to take a very keen interest in him. Joey even mentions how he was so enthralled when Sammy performed at the Grand that he wasn't even watching the damn movie. Our favorite banjo man seems to have this odd, almost siren-y effect on Joey that not even Henry had.

Oh, don't forget Sammy also defended Joey Drew to the press when the studio was facing allegations, as told by the Employee Handbook;

On top of the aforementioned, there are some minor details as well, both from the original game and the books.

Firstly, a note from Joey's apartment, which seems to be written by him based on the handwriting and the content. In which case, he literally drew the equivalent of hearts around his crush's name. I'm disappearing.

Tucked in Illusion of Living, where Joey details his day-to-day schedule, lies the Joey Drew and Sammy Lawrence math problem- a window of 10 minutes where Joey and Sammy are alone in a room together every day at the studio.

And finally, the classic "Joey's Lunchbreak", where Sammy is slotted in conveniently fifteen minutes beforehand. I'm not saying Joey wanted his lunchbreaks private for any particular reason, but...

He seems to not want to be disturbed regardless!

Besides Sammy, Sinclair, and Henry, there is still a huge male presence surrounding Joey. Donaldson and Eckhart, his military friends. Nathan Arch, his best friend and confidant. Bertrum Piedmont, both a friend and business partner. Joey's own father, who inspired his boundless, mischievous imagination. Men have influenced, befriended and inspired him at about every turn in his life.

So, you may be wondering, what about the women?

Well, if you can believe it, there are some women in Joey's life!

PART 5>>

[tvfangirladdict]

I finally watched the first 3 episodes of season 8, and it was so much better than I thought it'd be with all the bee promos. And I was so excited to get on here and share in the excitement. But I kept coming across so much arguing that it ruined my good mood.

I don't keep up with any of the promotional stuff the cast does, so I'm just finding out about the new magazines and interviews and stuff that some people seem to think points to Eddie coming out soon. And the reaction from a lot of people? Not loving it.

I realize there's Die-hards on either side, BT or Buddie, and that they can take things too far. They're so focused on their chosen ship, and so dedicated to validating it and themselves, that they can become mean and unreasonable. They're stubborn, you won't change their minds, and they will do anything to defend their ship even if it means misinterpreting reality and twisting it to support their needs.

But that some of them have somehow tuned into the same bigoted people we were fighting before BT, even using their same lines to deny any chance of Eddie being queer just makes me so angry.

It continues to boggle my mind how people conveniently forget that just because someone uses one label in one part of life to identify themselves, that they can't change that label in the future. Just because someone labels themselves as straight, doesn't mean they can't still come out later with a different sexuality. Like, we see it all the time?????? For years we said that Buck and Eddie were portrayed with queer hints, and they said we were crazy, just seeing what we wanted to see. 'Why do you have to make everything gay?' they'd say.

And then Buck kissed a guy. A guy who everyone believed to also be straight up until that point.

And then those people blamed us. Said we forced the producers and writers' hands into 'making Buck gay'.....Oooor maybe we just saw the truth and forced them to admit it.

Still, they want to argue, he was never gay, he'd only dated women, Oliver described his character as heterosexual, etc etc..... And? I'm fairly certain adults have been coming out of the closet later in life for like, ever?

Are we conveniently forgetting Michael? You know, Athena's first husband? The man she had two children with? The one that came out as gay and left her for a man?

But because it happened in season 7 instead of season 1, with Buck instead of Michael, people are claiming it's wrong and impossible and unrealistic?????

Like, the closet is the closet for a reason, no one is supposed to know????

I expected this from the biphobic and homophobic crowd right away. I'm from the suburbs of Ohio with rural parents who hate having gay shit "shoved down their throats" and being "forced to accept people just cause they're gay". You know, the 'it's not wrong, I just don't want to have to see it' crowd. I saw those kind of reactions coming from a mile away.

But never in a million years did I think I'd see people who ship two men together, fight so hard to deny a different characters queerness??? Where did all of this hate for Eddie come from? Like, before BT, we were all on the same side. At least I thought so? Which in my mind meant we were accepting of gay and bi men finding happiness and love?

But then the idea that Eddie might have a gay revelation too, and therefore become a threat to your new ship, meant you're willing to oppress a character that's now been here for like 7 years? That you were rooting for at one point?

Don't get me wrong, I was literally screaming and crying for joy during BTs first kiss. That was groundbreaking and so important, beyond just 911.

Don't I think they'll last? No. Do I still believe Buddie is endgame? Yes. But that doesn't mean I don't understand how important this relationship is to the world and television and Buck's character.

So I never had any hate for BT shippers. It was new and exciting and you want to hold onto it, I get it. But you can't just turn around and become the same people that called you crazy for seeing the signs in Buck, now that we're seeing more of it in Eddie.

'Eddie's only dated women, Ryan said Eddie's straight.' So what? We've literally watched two, male, main characters come out later in life, why can't Eddie?

Maybe he will, maybe he won't. These aren't real people, they're characters under the thumb of producers and broadcast networks and people so far up the food chain they probably don't even watch the show, so at the end of the day, they'll make Eddie who they want to benefit themselves, not to stay true to Eddie's character. But why attack us for hoping Eddie gets the same chance as Buck?

You don't ship Buddie, fine. You want BT to be endgame, and Eddie could mess that up for yall and you're afraid, I get it. Just say that. But don't come and try and gaslight us into thinking we're all just seeing shit again with Eddie the way they said we were with Buck.

This isn't for the multishippers, or the BT shippers who are more open minded. I understand there's some Buddie shippers who are pulling the same shit on the opposite end of the shipping pool and that's not okay either.

Basically, I just hate seeing all this hate for Eddie. People have always been more aligned with Buck than Eddie, even before BT. And that's always sucked because I think I identify more with Eddie. But since BT, it's gotten worse. Now that there's another option for Buck in a gay relationship, it's like some people can finally admit they only ever liked Eddie for the chance at BiBuck and I hate that. Eddie coming out would be so important for so many queer people. From the Latino community, to those with Catholic or other deep religious roots, to single dads and more.

We're not crazy for wanting to see Eddie come out, okay?

[turnwashingtonsbaddies]

PLS PLS OKS DEAR GOD GIVE US THE PUSS PUSS EATING RANKING OF TURN CHARACTERS I NEED IT LIKE SPONGEBOB NEEDS WATER (must include robert rogers)

ok im officially done with school (woo 🥳) so i can give everyone in my ask box what they've been waiting for. i am going to keep the list limited to the ppl in this promo photo bc there are so many goddamn characters in that show and if you want heavy-hitting analysis, i've gotta keep a short list (at least for now)

analysis under the cut:

as mentioned before caleb brewster does indeed SWEEP the pussy eating power rankings

as also mentioned before john andre is as mediocre in eating pussy as he is in acting and flute playing. he thinks he's amazing at it tho

now for the fun. i need to get this first paragraph out of the way bc it is about the man who made me begin to ponder this question 2 years ago in the first place. abraham. fucking. woodhull. this beanie-wearing menace to society has NEVER made anyone other than anna strong come. point blank period. even with anna tho, he's done it like maybe once or twice. whether or not he did it by giving her head is up for another debate tho

oh and speaking of anna strong. she gives me pillow princess vibes for a reason i cannot quite explain. it is just kind of a gut feeling i have. maybe it has to do with the fact that ppl are always just throwing themselves at her, so she doesn't have to bother with actually working on pleasuring them

but back to abe for a minute. he's actually (believe it or not) NOT the worst one on the list, and that is because richard woodhull has NEVER ONCE made a woman come. not even his wife. not once. richard has never even eaten pussy before. richard has only ever had sex in the missionary position. abe is a terrible partner for a reason, and that reason is bc he was raised by richard

one member of the woodhull family does possess some finesse however. mary woodhull eats pussy like a mf champion. i imagine her learning it was much like her learning how to fire a gun. at first she was like 'wtf is going on??? i cant do that??' but give it few tries and she easily upstages all the men around her

using mary shooting a gun as my transition here..... let's talk about simcoe. honestly, he does give me the vibes of someone who really wants to be good at eating pussy, and maybe he even enjoys doing it. however, i think he gives toothy head. and i also think he does it on purpose. that's right. he's a biter

speaking of ppl who enjoy eating pussy, i think hewlett slays in that department ngl. ik i said before that caleb is arguably the only man on the show who enjoys eating pussy, but i actually want to amend that bc i think hewlett does too. however, i think the one drawback for hewlett is that his desire and ability to give good head does come from a place of him being (and i mean this with peace and love hewlett enjoyers) a massive simp

i straight up dont have a transition for this one but it was literally an intrusive thought and i just need to expel it. ben tallmadge the type of guy to apologize after eating pussy. why? who knows. it could have even been decent head. he's still apologizing anyway. however my bet is that decent is the best he can do bc he's an overthinker, which can get in the way of having strong head game

finally, and yes i made you read all of this before giving you what you wanted anon, robert rogers. "(must include robert rogers)" is SO REAL. SO TRUE. you're right for saying so. however he is such an enigma to me and i really don't know where to place him both as an eater of pussy and frankly as an entity in general. i know he has to exist in some kind of extreme tho. god-tier head or the most abysmal head ever anyone's ever experienced. maybe he's even literally eating pussy, like in a cannibalism way. i'm not ruling that out either. honestly, maybe the quality of head varies between sessions too. after all, he's always gotta keep em on their toes

[officialgleamstar]

Personal DnDads Pride Headcanons

some of these are simple but most are paragraphs long because of who I am as a person (incapable of saying things concisely), so they're going under a readmore. vaguely organized by age group.

one quick note: feel free to cheer on or rag on any of these that you please, variety in opinion is the spice of fandom life! everyone's headcanons are so real and valid to me, i am a strong believer in having as many contradicting fandom opinions as you want. for this list, i just went with everything that is "default" to my fan content. others' transfem sparrow is shaking hands with my gnc sparrow and yes, i'm listing that one on purpose, because if you make fun of transfem sparrow, you are getting hit by my bat. be fucking nice.

please enjoy!

Season 1 Dads and Spouses

Carol is a lesbian. This is simply canon to me. It’s important that this is first and visible to everyone.

Bi/pan polyamorous Henry and Mercedes is also simply canon to me. Honestly that one might be fully canon based on some of the things that happen in Odyssey

Henry is unlabeled but in the sense that he calls himself ‘queer’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gay’, or ‘pansexual’, fully depending on his mood and the conversation happening

Ron is also unlabeled but in the sense that he has never thought about it in his life and isn’t intending to now

Glenn is bisexual but never talks about it unless someone else mentions it first, and he tries really really hard to never think about his gender once in his life. The queer angst I give Glenn could be a whole post of its own but just know he has issues. He does fuck men though

Darryl still isn’t really sure on his sexuality and probably never will be, but he’s actually explored it a bit, so that’s better than whatever the fuck was going on with him before the show started. Henry likes giving him subtle bear pride flag accessories because Darryl actually wears them a lot. His favorite color is brown, after all.

Jodie, Nicky, and Taylor all are bisexual with a preference for women. Sexuality isn’t genetic but it is for them specifically.

Morgan is also bisexual. Literally none of the season 1 parents are straight except maybe Samantha and even with her, my opinion fully matters on the day and how I’m feeling.

Henry and Lark have definitely had an exchange at some point where Lark asked him how it was to ‘experience twink death’, to which Henry just went ‘get back to me in a few years on that, kid.’ and Lark spent the rest of the week furiously moping because clearly, he’s a twunk, Father- (words of a man who did not take care of himself well enough from the ages of 18-25 to ever be a twunk)

This is my little shipper brain but Jodie only realized he liked men after being stuffed into the Odyssey and being around Ron 24/7 for months on end (and the demon stuff, but he didn’t know that yet for obvious reasons). In his timeline, he had a whole arc about it and now he’s persistently attracted to strange men who don’t make sense as well as women light-years out of his league. He’s still a little miffed that Henry doesn’t remember the very long conversations they had about it, but him and Nicky get to wear matching bi pride bracelets now, so he guesses it’s fine.

Kiddads and Spouses

Lark is bisexual. He has known this since kindergarten when his parents explained what the flag all over their house was and has never thought about it since.

Lark also helped Rebecca realize she was bisexual because she would ask him about it in a class they shared in high school

This is utterly unrelated to LGBT headcanons but I think Veronica and Rebecca grew up in San Dimas with the kiddads, and were friends with them in high school. It just makes sense to me

Unlabeled Terry Junior is something that can be so personal to me. In a general sense, he likes everyone romantically, and identifies enough with the asexual spectrum to wear an ace ring, but he doesn’t really see the point in putting a name on it. He’s just Terry Junior and he’s happy with that.

Him, Lark, and Nicky did have a group chat called ‘bisexuals with an agenda’ in high school though, where they would make plans for pranking or otherwise harassing their fathers during group outings. Terry loves Ron but that does not mean he is above ruining his day. It’s done with affection.

My thoughts on Sparrow could be a full fanfiction but gonna try to keep it simple (retroactive edit: did not keep it simple). Sparrow is the token cishet of the kiddads, but in the queerest way possible. He’s an Oak-Garcia, of course he’s explored himself very thoroughly. At current, he identifies as gender non-confirming cis man, but he has had periods of his life where he transitioned and then detransitioned. In early high school, he identified as non-binary. From senior year up until just before Hero was born, he lived as a trans lesbian. He doesn’t see these periods as phases, just as his identity changing over time. Currently he’s perfectly happy identifying as a man, but wouldn’t be wholly shocked if he transitioned again. Calls himself “cis but gender is obviously, massively, a social construct and so it feels unfair to expect myself to fit into these boxes when identity can be so fluid and-”

Rebecca still calls him her wife, and also a granola lesbian or MILF from time to time because it makes him laugh, and while Nicky was still in his life, he would send Sparrow trans memes a lot. Sparrow also has always liked being seen as non-binary, he sees it as ‘winning at being androgynous’. Competitive to the sense of nonsensical Sparrow my beloved

Sparrow always wears women’s clothing but that’s for autistic reasons. They just fit nicer for his brain. It helps the gender(tm) thing though, he near exclusively wore hand-me-downs from Mercedes throughout all of high school

Sorry for talking so much about Sparrow. He’s my favorite character so he is the focus of many of my thoughts. Anyways

Never been a huge fan of the ‘Grant was outed by his crush in the Forgotten Realms’ headcanon, I think Grant came out about a year beforehand. Long enough where everything about it has settled but it’s still new enough that Darryl forgot for a split second and thought Grant might have a crush on Killa during the Four Knight arc. He’d known he liked boys a while before that, and also his parents kind of figured he was gay most of his life since he had 95% girl friends

Marco is pansexual! He met Grant in college because he worked the front desk of their dorm building and would always wear a bunch of pride pins

Nicky was Grant’s first good friend who was a boy, I like to think that they were childhood friends. Grant announced this to his dad at the age of 10 by going “Nick Close is transgender now, so that means you don’t have to worry about me only talking to girls because he’s a boy.” and Darryl went “…Alright?” and then googled what ‘transgender’ means

Speaking of, Nicky realized he was trans because of Mulan. Both Glenn and Jodie, in their respective timelines, googled ‘How do I know if my daughter is a lesbian’ before he came out because Nicky would rewatch the reflection song so often and also the tomboy-isms. Everyone felt very stupid for being surprised when he cut all of his hair off, cried, and asked to change his name

T4T Nicky and Cassandra is canon and they rubbed it into everyone's faces when they were together, Anthony is just afraid of the truth

Cassandra is trans het. I love trans het people more than anything and I love her so this makes sense to me.

Veronica is non-binary, in the sense of “girl but to the left”. They/she pronouns, calls themself a girlie and a mom but not a woman, dresses in a kickass pantsuit at formal events. I’m also in love with her

Season 2 Teens and Friends

Hero and Normal are both trans. When Hero came out, Sparrow sat Normal down to explain why Hero was now a sister instead of a brother and Normal responded with “Well, that’s not fair. How come Hero can be a girl but I can’t be a boy?!” and Sparrow just stared at him for a really long time before going “You can be a boy, honey.” and they went thrift shopping as a family for new clothes the next day

Normal is stealth trans, mostly because Hero is the same way and he copies her, but also because it doesn’t really occur to him that he passes. He just figures that people knows even though he is on testosterone and binds and presents masculine. It helps that his family presents pretty gender-neutral as a whole, so most people assume he had long hair as a kid because his parents are hippies. They had a son and daughter, both with long hair. They now have a daughter and a son, both with short hair. To the general populace, nothing has changed, they just misremembered which kid was older.

Taylor is a demi-boy and spends every year growing more and more feminine. Definitely calls their gender something like ‘boy with a dash of girl on the side’ with their friends. Growing out his hair was a newer thing and he regrets cutting it, even if it was a super cool sequence and he looked like an anime protagonist, because he liked how it framed his face.

Cassandra has always maintained an openness about her trans identity, so Taylor’s the same way. He’s always got the he/they pronoun pin on (I figure this is normalized by the time of season 2, but he’s just very pleased about it), he has a variety of trans and non-binary pride pins that he cycles through, and they like painting their nails because it’s an easy way for them to feel a little more feminine.

Cassandra’s living room is decorated with a massive trans pride flag and LED lights. The first time the teens walk into Taylor’s home, Scary says “it looks like a Twitch stream in here” at the same time that Normal says “it looks like my sister’s room in here” and they high-five while Taylor yells at them to be nice.

Hermie is genderfluid and uses any pronouns. This is real to me. He has my own teenage trait of gender shifting every three hours and never knowing what to do about it and he will be suffering with this until he exits puberty, at which point he gives up and just sees what gender other people choose for him.

Hermie is also pan/ace! No further thoughts here. She just is.

Erica just goes by queer because she doesn’t think the common passerby deserves to know her rich inner life and she’s right, they don’t

I tend to say a lot that all of the S2 kids are bisexual, and I represent them as such, but I truly believe that Lincoln and Normal both have no idea what’s going on with their sexualities. They say they’re bisexual for bisexual teen squad reasons but Normal is going through a constant crisis of “Am I gay or bisexual?” and Lincoln looks up the definition of aro/ace on a weekly basis. Neither of them will ever express this until Scary goes “maybe I’m not bisexual, actually.”

On that note, Scary is a lesbian but she’s not going to realize that until college. For now, she’s rocking with the bisexuality and pretends it’s not weird that her ‘crushes’ on boys feel wildly different than her crushes on girls. Yes I am projecting. This is not a secret. We project onto Scary here.

[katyspersonal]

What are your opinions on our Lord and Savior Gywn?

He didn't save SHIT!! He took the perfectly (?) functioning humanity and ruined it! Look at it, it got Hollowing!!

Okay, I am making the 'Marika is a MILF Gwyn' jokes here and there, but 1) Marika is a bit more of a straight up cold and mean person, all things considered 2) Yet she still has enough nuance, and a lot of her actions might be written on reasonable fears and 3) Gwyn is even MORE nuanced than Marika, from what I have concluded so far! Laurence is a similar kind of sinner too. Comparison of the characters that share a trope is helpful for my thought process, so bear with me a little! With Marika I see a more direct disdain and fear before the very nature of life, cyclic and treacherous, uncontrollable, being meant to perish one day but with new life sprouting from it, and thus doing lovely things like shunning Crucible-related lifeforms. With Laurence, we have enough evidence so far that beasthood was not created by Healing Church but something already lingering in the human code after Pthumerians and Loran, so ambition to seize and control it it was risky but understandable!

But with Gwyn, we are confirmed that human nature itself is dark, undesirable an terrifying, as well as how he sorta had the chance to see it 'in action' during uniting with humans to take war on dragons. And also in Dark Souls the cyclic nature of Ages is just a fact, and it would make sense that should Age of Dark come, he and his family would be the first to go as beings of Light. It is a combination of things: his kind being in true danger and not just "risking to lose power", the treacherourness of how political allyship simply works (your today's ally country against the common enemy could tomorrow ally with someone else to start the war on YOU) and simply the not-so-metaphorical horrors of the Dark itself! is not a speculation, the dangers are RIGHT here!

Gwyn messed the natural order of humanity in a way that I personally dislike and express it on multiple occasions: trying to get rid of what's barbaric and dangerous yet natural and not accepting that there is no light without shadow, or life without death. But I also feel sympathetic because he had a legit reason to fear the darkness within men. In is not as much philosophical but a literal concept in Dark Souls lore. He acted out of fear, backed up with a precedent, and it brought the ruin to himself and everyone else. Writing this I'd say he sorta falls for the type of a person I can only like in fiction but resent in reality. I guess I don't need to explain what kind of people this is, paranoid "but for a valid reason", being "preventive" with their drastic measures.. Good intentions path to hell self-fulfilling prophesy blablabla. His specieism doesn't help his case in the slighest. Ironically, all extremely human behavior of him!

(LOL thank you based Goldmask as usual xddd) At the same time, he is not entirely corrupt with the power he seized and used to strip humanity of what was natural for them; he, in the end, committed to what he believed was better for everyone and sacrificed HIMSELF too. I can respect the cunning and machiavellian person who, in the end, is above the vanity of a 'savior' and can give themselves too, not only others. He also did share his power with some humans, showing that he can take kinda benevolent choices even with those he fears. Yeah, part of calculated risk could be there; dude gave the city and his daughter to the Pygmy to, again, preemptively avoid some animosity. But in the case with the four kings, did he HAVE to? Or Seath for that matter, who is a dragon, another species he doesn't like?

I find it hard to detect 'truly' corrupt people in Soulsborne setting in general, and yeah we can fiddle with 'nuanced character' and 'everyone is morally grey' forever and never discover THE big bad we'd love to hate. But, out of those big bads, I think he deserves the benefit of being seen as a way more nuanced character than the corrupt leader the most! It is the case where he should not have done anything, but also should not have NOT done anything.. Soulsborne is eager with placing characters in a position and knowledge where every choice is wrong and they just pick a poison for themselves (and everyone else xd). Jokes about "haha people in power moment" are still mostly jokes for me. He is sympathetic in a way not like I think I'd have done the same (let's be real, I revel in darkness gfjjghk) but in a way where I understand too much to feel negative 🤔

[moongothic]

I LOVE your crocodad theory I'm an obsessed believer but did u ever get romantic vibes from crocodile & robin business relationship? Many people get lover vibes from them & I never understood why. They seem VERY strictly business/stab each other in the back relationship. (Plus crocodile is TERRIFYING).

I think Croco/Robin as a ship exists kind of like... out of circumstance? Kind of?

Quick disclaimer, I only got into OP in like 2008~ish at the age of 13, I can not comment what it as like being in the fandom before that because I wasn't there (and when OP began in 1997 I was like two whole years old). So whatever I say here doesn't come from like, a fandom veteran who knows the entire history of the OP fandom or anything. I'm just attempting to rub my braincells together here

Like in the year of our lord 2023 we have many wonderful Crocodile ships to classify as OTPs and NOTPs etc, but if we go back to like 2006 or so, long before the Summit War Saga was even a thing, try to think about what characters you would have shipped Crocodile with? Because for a long time, the only canon material Crocodile had appeared in was just the Alabasta Saga (+one brief cover story), and we don't really see Crocodile interact with that many characters during the story. Like. Really the only character Crocodile has multiple, extended interactions with aside from Luffy and Vivi is Robin. All the other characters he interacts with maybe once or twice for very brief scenes, so based on canon material alone, there isn't much for fuel for shipping purposes.

It really wasn't until Marineford when we finally started getting other characters to ship with Crocodile, mainly the Ever Loyal Daz who seems to be willing to follow Crocodile anywhere (romantic as fuck) and Doflamingo after he and Croc tried to kill each other twice at Marineford (people seem to love a tsundere Croc) And now with Cross Guild we also have Mihawk (and Buggy) as far as shipping options go. And of course there's MORE than just these ships, there's the more crack-leaning ships (like Dragodile and whatever you'd call the Cobra-ship) and some others (Jinbei, Whitebeard, Ivankov, Galdino, Luffy even) etc etc

The only difference is that Croco/Robin got to kind of be like, "the default Crocodile ship" for like 8 years without major competition. And because the ship has "history", even when new ships pop up the one that has been around the longest will still stick out. Not to mention, although we have options now, even those have very little canon material to actually work with when compared to Croco/Robin. Like Dofuwani exists because the two had like three whole pages worth of interactions, but compare that to the screentime Croc had with Robin? It's not even a competition

Not to mention, Croco/Robin is just. Like it's kind of the mandatory het ship. Like there aren't many straight options with canon material to work with, and there's gonna be people who really want to have a het ship with Crocodile if you know what I mean. But also, let's be real. There's a lot of straight women who're horny for Crocodile. Valid as fuck. And Croco/Robin could have like, a self-insert-y quality to it, like some people might be able to see themselves in Robin? Also valid. And that can apply to some straight men too, like I'm sure there's cishet men who look at Crocodile with that "god I wish that were me" energy, who love seeing Crocodile ship fanart with Robin, as they can project onto Crocodile etc. This is also valid. Point is that the ship appeals to cishets by simply being a het ship, but also it might make for an easy ship for a lot of straight people to project onto for one reason or another.

But to be fair, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I think Croco/Robin has the potential to be a really interesting ship. Like they ARE the Baroque Works Boss Pair, literal partners in crime, the most powerful members of the secret criminal organization who run the whole operation, they worked together by themselves for four whole years, Crocodile protecting Robin by allowing her to hide under his wings. They were together, ready to take over an entire country and obtain a weapon of mass destruction And then Robin betrays him. And Crocodile admits he never trusted her to begin with.

Like on paper alone, this is great material for a juicy romance.

Especially now when we understand why Robin was on the run and why she feared being betrayed, and how looking back at Crocodile's reaction when Robin "reads" the Poneglyph for him, he genuinely seems a little sad about her betraying him (mystery trauma etc). This is a genuinely interesting character dynamic, like even without any romantic context I would love to see Crocodile and Robin meet again in the storyline and like, see what Crocodile thinks of Robin having joined the Strawhats vs what Robin thinks about Cross Guild, how the two might interact etc. They are interesting to me

Like personally, I agree, I don't think the two were actually ever romantically involved with each other (frankly I don't think Crocodile trusts anyone anymore enough to let them get close him like that, dude's been voluntarily celibate for like two decades lmao), their relationship was surely just business-only. And while the ship doesn't personally interest me (just kinda "meh" for me), I do understand why the ship appeals to others and why it's popular to this day

But yeah, I do think a lot of the reasons Croco/Robin is as popular as it is due to circumstance. It's been around the longest, it still arguably has the most canon material to work with, it appeals to lots of people. God knows shippers don't actually need the characters to like each other, otherwise people wouldn't be shipping Croc with Buggy as we speak