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goldenlaurelleaveswrites · 1 year ago

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Juleka vs. the Forces of the Universe

Ch16 Juleka vs. the Forces of Alya Césaire

Juleka vs. the Forces of the Universe (AO3)

There are a couple of people I need to thank for this chapter.

First of all, a big thank you to @mintaka14, for letting me borrow Roarr's name for makeup from Living Arrangements (It's such a good read and I highly recommend it).

And a huge thank you to @verfound for helping me through the crisis of confidence this chapter gave me, and for beating some sense into me (with love and giggles as you pointed out all my dumb typos 😂). I would still be spinning myself in circles if it weren't for you, so thank you for beta reading this!!! 💖💖💖💖 And for letting Dingo and Bri stay when they insistent on being mentioned in this chapter 😂

Finally, a huge thank you to all of you for the ongoing support and kindness. It really means so much to me, and I can't thank you enough.

A little bit of house keeping now. The next chapter is likely going to take quite a bit of time, especially because I have bits and pieces of it written and it always takes longer to write a chapter that already has pieces I need to integrate in.

Also, I'm issuing a content warning for this chapter. Juleka's anxiety is very prevalent in this chapter. I don't describe it in detail, but it is present in the majority of the chapter. Please use your best judgement when deciding if this is something you're comfortable with. I would much rather you take care of yourself and skip a chapter than read something that might upset or trigger you. 💖

With all of the being said, I hope you enjoy the chapter!!! 💖💖💖💖

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The classroom was warm, just shy of uncomfortably so. And Bustier’s voice was nothing but cloying white noise; she had no idea what her teacher had been droning on about for the past half hour, and she sincerely doubted anyone else did either.

All of their year end tests were written and done. Their projects submitted. Their lockers mostly cleared out.

Now all that was left to do was make it to the end of the second last day of classes.

Sleepily, she blinked her eyes and let her attention wander to the rest of the class. It seemed they were all paying as much attention to Bustier as she was. Ivan was drumming out a beat on his desk with his fingers, bopping his head along to the nearly indecipherable sound. Alix was leaning back in her seat, and was barely making an effort to hide the fact that she was playing on her phone. Kim was out cold, and Max and Markov were reading something on Max’s phone. Nathaniel was drawing, and beside her, Rose was doodling.

She let out a sleepy sigh as her gaze drifted towards the front of the classroom. Chloe and Sabrina’s seats were empty; apparently they were skipping again. It wasn’t like they were missing much. She propped her cheek in her hand as her gaze travelled across the aisle.

Adrien had been in a funk all day. He had tried to hide it, but little cracks in his facade had let it shine through. But it seemed everyone had assumed it was because the school year was almost over, and he wouldn’t see them every day anymore. At lunch, most of the class had tried to console him, assuring him that when he wasn’t busy or travelling over the summer that they would all hang out and that they would call and text. Maybe that was contributing to his funk. But given the argument he had had with Ladybug last night… well, her money was on that.

She was still on edge from last night.

And given the look Chat had given her last night… In all honesty, they were just lucky Shadowmoth needed time to recharge between akumas. That, and that—according to Roarr—wearing a miraculous provided some protection against akumatization. Otherwise…

Well, they were all lucky they were just dealing with a moping classmate. That, and…

Marinette had been uncharacteristically quiet today. Her mind had very obviously been elsewhere for most of the day. She assumed everything that had gone down last night was what had Marinette so preoccupied. Pensive even.

During morning break, after Marinette and Nathaniel had gone to the art room to discuss some costume ideas for the comic with Marc, when she had been coming back from the washroom she had overheard Alya telling the rest of the girls Marinette was obviously thinking about summer break and Adrien.

She turned her attention to Alya and Nino.

They were very obviously texting each other. Which, to be fair, wasn’t exactly uncommon. Or something to be suspicious about. But considering the way Alya had been acting the past couple of weeks…

That, and every so often, Nino would sneak a glance back at her.

Well, sneak was being generous… It was obvious he was either trying to be subtle, or that he thought he was being subtle. Either way, he wasn’t. M. Damocles always gave her grief about her hair, asking her how she could see with her hair covering half her face. What he—and many people for that matter—seemed to forget was that hair was hardly a brick wall. Sure, it obscured her vision a bit. But she could see through her hair well enough to see Nino glancing back at her over his shoulder every time he thought she wasn’t looking. Just like she saw Alya kick the back of his bench every time she caught him looking back at her.

Really, it was a wonder Bustier hadn’t noticed what was going on.

Honestly, she had to wonder if Bustier had noticed her class wasn’t paying attention and was letting it slide, or if she actually was that oblivious.

She stifled a yawn as she directed her gaze to the clock. The time was crawling by. She could swear that clock had said twenty after three for the past half hour.

Sighing, she dragged her gaze away from the clock. It seemed a watched clock didn’t move anyways….

Her frown returned as her eyes settled on Adrien once again.

The past few weeks had been hard, having to be civil to Adrien in class when she knew he was Chat. When he was making her life a headache with his constant whining and tantrums. But coming into class this morning… it had been really hard to act normally towards him. Thankfully, he never really interacted with her all that much anyways, but he hadgreeter her along with the rest of the class when she had come in.

And she had done her best.

She really had.

But she had maybe been a little… cool with her greeting. Which was frankly way more than he deserved. The good thing about being quiet was that people generally didn’t take note when she was extra quiet, and they didn’t tend to pick up on the nuances of her voice. Rose would have, and so would Marinette. But neither of them had been there when she had entered the room. So no one had really seemed to notice.

Except…

Alya’s eyes had narrowed as soon as she had mumbled her reply to Adrien. It was hard to tell if Alya knew she had seen the way her eyes had narrowed, given she had caught it out of the corner of her eye herself. But she knew she hadn’t imagined it, because as soon as she did look directly at Alya, her expression had shifted into a casual smile.

But she had felt eyes on her as she had made her way back to her seat.

She didn’t like it. All the hidden looks and glances from Alya. Coupled with those messages- the curt and deleted ones, And the pushiness and insistence on her voicing her support for the schemes…

It was weird.

But Nino…

She cast a surreptitious glance down at Nino. He quickly turned away, his hat slipping with the movement. Subtle indeed. He couldn’t have been more blatant if he had tried.

As weird as Alya had been the past couple of weeks…well, it was even weirder coming from him.

She sighed. There was no real point in dwelling on it though. Alya… she didn’t like to think about it, but Alya was definitely getting suspicious. That was the only explanation- though if Alya was suspicious, why was she still insisting on her helping with the schemes?

It didn’t make sense.

Regardless, if Alya was suspicious, well, it was safe to assume she had shared her suspicions with Nino.

This… complicated things.

She would need to be even more careful going forward.

Sighing to herself, she folded her arms on her desk and rested her chin on them. At least, if she was deep in thought, she would look like she was paying attention if Bustier clued in to the fact her lesson was going unheard.

***

They were gathered at the base of the front steps to the school, a little off to the side so as not to end up trampled by the steady stream of students emerging from the building, clearly excited by the prospect of only one day left in the school year.

“And you’re sure you don’t have time for ice cream?” Alya wheedled. “I can text Nino. He and the guys were going to shoot some hoops, but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind a change of plans. You know Adrien loves Andre’s ice cream.”

She had to fight to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

Even if that particular ploy was weak by Alya’s standards, Alya was never one to miss an opportunity…

Marinette shook her head, and she could have sworn she caught sight of her rolling her eyes… “No, I need to head home. I still need to finish my dress.”

“Are you going to finish in time?” Mylène asked worriedly.

Marinette nodded. “It’ll probably be cutting it a bit close, but I’ll have it done.”

“I can wait to see it,” Rose sighed dreamily, “I can’t even imagine what you’ve cooked up this time!”

“Neither can I,” Alya agreed. “And it doesn’t help that my bestie won’t even give me a sneak peek,” Alya added in a playfully pointed voice.

Marinette let out a semi-exasperated sigh. “I told you, it isn’t ready to be seen yet. Besides, you’ll all see it tomorrow.”

“Fine, fine. But you can’t blame a girl for trying,” Alya laughed. “But you’re going to look amazing, I just know Adrien won’t be able to take his eyes off of you!”

Marinette’s smile faltered for a second at Alya’s words, before returning. But it was tighter than before. Less genuine.

“I’m just looking forward to wearing it,” Marinette said noncommittally.

“I sure hope so, given how much time you’ve been spending on it. You missed one heck of a race last weekend. You should have seen how close-”

“I’m sure there will be plenty more races for Marinette to watch,” Mylène said, gently cutting Alix off before she could get too far into regaling them with every detail of the race. Again.

“When’s the next one?”

“Third day of break,” Alix grinned, “We both figured we would want to sleep in after the dance and Max has a dentist appointment the second day of break.”

“I think that should work! We could do a picnic?’

“A victory picnic, I like it!”

“You haven’t won yet,” she mumbled with a chuckle.

Alix stuck her tongue out at her. “Yet.”

“Anyways, I should get going…” Marinette said, taking an awkward little half-step back. “The dress won’t finish itself after all.”

“Of course. Text if you need anything?” she asked.

“Or if you’re bored!” Rose added as she stepped in to hug Marinette as well.

“I will,” Marinette promised; there was a hint of laughter in her voice. She may have have been responding to Rose… but Marinette’s eyes were on her. With a smile, Marinette stepped forward and hugged her goodbye.

Over Marinette’s head, she caught what looked like a frown flickering across Alya’s face. But then Marinette was pulling away, and once she had stepped back out of the hug, the look on Alya’s face was gone.

Once all the goodbye hugs were exchanged, and Marinette was out of sight, Alya turned to the rest of them. “Ok, since ice cream was a bust, we can head straight to my place. It’s probably a good thing anyways, we have lots to get through.”

She fell into step with the rest of the group as they made their way towards Alya’s place, though she lagged a little behind Alya, Alix, and Mylène. As they made their way through the streets, Alya began going through a list of things they would need to prepare for one of the many plans they had cooked up for tomorrow.

Because of course it couldn’t just be one plan.

Alya had insisted that they plan multiple schemes.

Each of which, of course, had a ridiculous name.

“So for phase ‘Belle of the Ball,’ we’ll need to make sure…” She only listened with half an ear as she followed along behind the rest of the girls. They had spent the past two weeks cooking up all of these plots, she knew them like the back of her own hand. They all did, as Alix had pointed out when protesting to this last scheming session.

But Alya had insisted.

As Alya had pointed out—while casting a glance in her direction—something always went wrong with the plans. And that meant they had to be ready.

Under other circumstances—before she had found herself going toe to toe with Alya—she found Alya’s tenacity and determination admirable. She was bold and willing to do whatever it took to reach her goals. She was the very definition of if at first you don’t succeed…

The thing was, she couldn’t help but wonder… it wasn’t just that Alya’s scheming was bad for Marinette… at times… most of the time, the more she thought about it… it felt like it was bad for Alya.

Alya was tenacious. Determined. Though some people might say headstrong or even pig-headed. Alya wasn’t afraid to go after what she wanted. And, despite what her actions may have screamed, she cared about her friends’ happiness.

The problem was, Alya had something of a tunnel vision problem. She was so fixated on the idea of Marinette liking Adrien that she couldn’t—or maybe wouldn’t—acknowledge the fact that Marinette had moved on. Just like how she was so caught up in the pursuit of Ladybug’s identity, and the idea of Ladybug and Chat Noir being destined soulmates that she couldn’t see what was staring her straight in the face.

“You ok?” Rose’s voice jolted her from her thoughts. She looked down at Rose, who had fallen into step beside her. “You looked far away,” Rose said as she slipped her hand into hers.

“Yeah,” she tried to muster a smile. The feeling of Rose’s hand in hers made it much easier, despite the dour thoughts clouding her mind. “Just thinking,” she said as she laced her fingers with Rose’s.

***

She sat in silence as Alya stuck a pin into another colour-coded scrap of paper to fix it to her cork board. The cork board was covered in a rainbow of scraps of paper, each colour indicating a different person, with the scheme name, details, and phase number outlined on them.

It was a technicolour disaster.

And the more of the schemes—which were all phases in the ‘Operation Fairytale Ball’ plot—Alya added to the board, the more she could feel a headache brewing.

It was honestly impressive how Alya managed to keep track of all the details of the various schemes and plots. If journalism didn’t work out for her, Alya had a bright future in tactical mission planning ahead of her.

“…so then when he sees the punch ladle is missing, he’ll have to ask her where the spare ones are. And then when she offers to go, Rose, you mention we need more napkins too and suggest Adrien help her.”

Rose made a sound of agreement, not looking up from the plethora of nail polish bottles she had spread out on the floor in front of her.

“And then Juleka, while they’re gone, you’ll find Luka and keep him busy. By the time they get back, we’ll be ready for Phase: Glass Slipper.” Alya finally peeled her gaze away from the cork board to stare at her. Hard. “You’ll be able to do that, right?” There was a challenge in the way Alya was staring at her. It was almost like… like she was testing her.

“It’s a plan,” she murmured. It was a plan. A terrible one. One she had no intention of carrying out. But it was a plan.

Alya’s eyes hardened at her words. She had been careful to phrase it as the truth. Well, a half-truth. The words were true. But the intention behind them had been a lie.

And Alya did not look satisfied: her eyes were hard and narrowed behind her glasses.

Alya opened her mouth to say something, but Mylène of all people interrupted her. “And that’s where the faux flowers come in, right? And what flowers were you thinking?”

She could have answered those questions: yes and red roses. Because they symbolized ‘true love.’

At least all the other colours of roses hadn’t been ruined for her…

Alya shot her one last look before turning to Mylène. “We need red roses; they’re the most romantic flowers. And yeah, once they come back they’ll…”

She fought back a frown as best she could as Alya launched into going over every excruciating detail of the next phase of the operation.

After the countless hours they had spent cooking up and reviewing these schemes, how could Mylène not remember the flowers? The flowers she was in charge of?

She shook her head to try and clear her thoughts. But as Alya continued on her tirade of the operation, her mind couldn’t help but wander.

And it seemed she wasn’t the only one…

Alix was paying barely—if any—attention to the whole conversation. She was flopped out on Alya’s bed with her legs up the wall and her eyes glued to the screen of her phone.

Rose was on the floor, surrounded by an army of nail polish bottles. All in varying shades of pink. It seemed she still hadn’t decided on which shade of pink would go best with her outfit for tomorrow.

Mylène was sitting beside Alix on the bed, though she wasn’t upside-down. She was sitting cross legged, with a pillow in her lap and her chin propped up in her hand, a bored look on her face.

“And then you’ll keep Luka occupied so he doesn’t interrupt them, right, Juleka?”

She jumped at the sudden sound of Alya—very pointedly—saying her name. “Sorry, what?”

“You’ll make sure Luka- or anyone else for that matter, doesn’t ruin the moment.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Alya didn’t look satisfied by the answer, but she continued on. Time seemed to drag by as they went through the next four phases of the operation. And it didn’t help that it felt like Alya was asking her something every other minute.

And she did not like how loaded the questions felt.

She did not like it one bit.

“…and because Nino isn’t doing the music, you’ll probably need to stall for a while, Alix, while I-”

“Y’know, I really don’t see the point of this,“ Alix groaned.

“What? What are you talking about?” Alya demanded as she turned to look at Alix as she crossed her arms.

She followed Alya’s gaze, and watched as Alix rolled to right herself and sit up. “We’ve been over these plans a billiontimes, Alya,” Alix complained before looking back down at her game.

“We have been reviewing them a lot,” Mylène quietly agreed.

“But we have to!”

“Do we?”

Alya’s gaze snapped to her so quickly, it was a miracle she didn’t have whiplash. “Of course we do. Don’t you want Marinette and Adrien to be happy?”

She hesitated; it suddenly felt like she was standing in the middle of a minefield. She needed to weigh her words carefully. “Of course I want Marinette to be happy. But she’s already going with Luka. Can’t we just let them enjoy the evening? Can’t we just enjoy the evening? Without scheming?” She certainly wouldn’t object to a scheme free evening.

“Juleka does have a point-“ Rose started to say.

“You’re only saying that because she’s going with your brother.”

Back before she had seen Marinette transform, had she found herself on the receiving end of such a glare, she would have shrunk in on herself. She would have faded into the background. Even a month ago, before she had become a tigress, she probably would have. It was the easy thing to do. Far easier than standing up to anyone.

But she was a tigress now.

And tigresses knew how to fade into the background. To move about unseen and undetected.

But they also knew how to roar.

“No, I’m not. I just want her- everyone to enjoy the night. I want Marinette to be happy and-”

“And that’s what I want!”

“That’s what we all want-” Rose started to say, only to be cut off again.

“After all the time she’s spent pining over Adrien, trying so hard to get him to notice her, you just want her to give up?” She met Alya’s glare with stoney silence. But before she could muster up words to redirect this conversation, or at least stall it, Alya’s eyes narrowed even further. “I knew it!” she hissed. “I knew something weird was going on-“

“Oh not this again,” Alix groaned.

“Not what again?”

Mylène—who at some point had gotten up—stepped forward tentatively, hands held out as if trying to placate. Though she wasn’t sure if it was her or Alya she was trying to calm. “Alya thinks-“

“I know-“

“Alya thinks you’ve been messing with the Adrien plans…”

Shoot. “What?”

“I told you it was dumb, Alya,” Alix said pointedly before looking up from her game to look at her. “She thinks you’ve been plotting against us.”

Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot.

“We told her it was just little miscommunications and accidents-“ Mylène started to say, only to be cut off.

“But I know it’s been more than that!”

“But Juleka wouldn’t lie to us!” Rose cried out indignantly, knocking over one of her bottles on nail polish as she stood up.

“Everybody lies. Right, Juleka?”

Alya was right. She would lie. She had lied to them. For months. But she had done it for Marinette’s sake!

And now this left her with a dilemma…

Was it better to come clean and tell them? Or was it better to stay quiet?

If she told them, she would have to tell them that Marinette had told her that she wanted to be with Luka. But Marinette had sworn her to secrecy, and she couldn’t betray Marinette’s trust. But if she didn’t come clean, she would be lying to them, which, granted, she had been doing every time she meddled with a plot… but those had always been little white lies!

Hadn’t they?

What was the right thing to do?

She could hear the blood rushing past her ears. It was the only sound she could hear. Everything - everyone - was silent. They were all just… just silent. Staring at her, waiting for her to- were they waiting for her to respond? Were they waiting for Alya to say something?

She was suffocating in the weight of the silence.

What was she supposed to do?

How did she get herself out of this?

“Come on Alya, that’s enough,” Mylène reprimanded. Her usually quiet voice was like thunder in the silence room. Suddenly, they were all talking

“Just let it go, it’s a stupid thing to fight about-” Alix added, only to be cut off.

“It’s not stupid! It’s-”

“Bijou, it’s ok. Just breathe…”

All of their voices were overlapping. Blending into each other until they were an almost indistinguishable cacophony. All muffled by the blood rushing past her ears and the thoughts ricocheting around in her head.

What was she supposed to do?

She needed quiet. Peace. To think.

She needed to get away.

But how?

For once, Shadowmoth was her saving grace.

The akuma alert blared from all of their phones. She jumped at the sound. Alix was the only one who hadn’t, actually. Then again, Alix had been the only one to be somewhat disengaged in the growing tension over the Adrienette plots. As Alix had said when they had settled into the meeting, she had mostly been there for the snacks.

Quickly, she scanned the akuma alert. There wasn’t much information about it, but it was by the tower.

Why was it always the tower? It was like akumas and tourists thought that was the only important place in Paris.

But it didn’t matter.

She needed to leave. She needed to be somewhere Ladybug could easily find her if she needed help with this one. And given last night… it was a pretty good possibility.

She froze when she looked up from her phone, her words dying on her lips. She could also see Alya’s desperation to go to ground zero of the akuma battle.

But Alya also looked like she wasn’t done arguing yet.

As it was, Alya was at an impasse. Both with herself and with her.

Because Alya couldn’t stay to argue with her and go get footage for her blog.

Or at least, she would be at an impasse with Alya. If she wanted to continue arguing with the equivalent of a brick wall that was.

“I gotta go. Need to check on Luka and Ma.” The lie was bitter in her mouth as she dashed towards the door.

“But bijou!”

“I’ll be careful!”

She was already out the door before Alya’s spluttered protests could reach her ears.

***

Her feet pounded against the pavement as she ran towards the Liberty.

If Ladybug needed her, she needed to be somewhere she would be easy to find.

At least her story- her lie about needing to check on Luka and her ma was believable. Of course, neither Luka nor her ma were supposed to be onboard right now. Luka was hanging out with his friends at Aimee’s place, and her ma was staging fight choreography at a community theatre in a completely different arrondissement. None of the girls knew that though. And the Liberty was docked close enough to the tower that, while not directly in harm’s way, was close enough that under other circumstances she would be worried.

But Juleka wouldn’t lie to us!

Rose’s words echoing in her head almost brought her to a halt.

She needed to keep going.

But the words weighed on her.

Rose had been wrong. She had lied to them. She had been lying to them for months now.

It had never felt great to lie. But they were harmless, small little lies. Or at least…

It had started with little lies. Little white lies. About texting the wrong time or texting the wrong person…

But the lies… they had become bigger.

And so much easier.

And the more she lied- whether by omission or fabrication, the harder it was to tell where the line between a half-truth and a lie lay. Was it even really a line anymore?

Had there ever been a line?

And with how easy the lies, the half-truths, the misdirections… how easy it had become to lie to her friends, her family… how easy it had all become…

The fact that she had so easily brushed off all of her lies until now… until she had been confronted and questioned point blank…

What kind of person did that make her?

She needed to keep going.

She didn’t have time for this.

But how was she supposed to move forward now?

She pumped her arms and legs even harder. Her lungs were starting to burn as she sprinted along the sidewalk, dodging dawdling tourists and ambling people left and right. With every step she took, the same question pounded through her head. Echoing the sound of her feet against the pavement.

What was she supposed to do now?

Finally, the Liberty came into view. She had barely made it on board when she saw a flash of red drop from the sky, down into the clutter of the meeting place they had hidden amongst all her ma’s chaos.

She darted over just as Ladybug peeked out from behind a crate.

“Good, you’re here. Are you free to help?”

“Always. So what are we looking at?” she asked as Ladybug pulled the bracelet from her yoyo.

“Not sure yet, I wanted to see if I could find you on my way there.”

“Well, glad that worked out,” she chuckled as she slipped the bracelet on. “Yeah, I’m free. Roarr, stripes on!”

***

She stared in disbelief as the ‘akuma’ was loaded into the back of a police car by an officer.

“…came all the way here, and decided he wanted to pull a prank,” Officer Roger groaned as he watched the door to the police car slam shut. “The embassy will have to deal with him. Tourists,” he added under his breath.

“Well,” Ladybug sighed as she massaged her temples, “at least no one was actually akumatized. I might need to do a press conference or something to remind people akumas aren’t something to joke about.”

“I’ll talk to the Commissioner and Mayor about it” Roger sighed before turning back to face her and Ladybug. “Good to see you, Ladybug. Purple Tigress, always a pleasure.”

“Take care,” she said with a nod before Officer Roger turned and headed back towards the cluster of police cars. “Talk about a waste of time,” she grumbled as she watched the cars drive off.

“You’d think they’d learn. C’mon,” Ladybug said, nodding towards the rooflines. Wordlessly, she followed Ladybug up. Once they were balanced on the roof, Ladybug turned to her with a wry smile. “Well, I can’t say I’m sorry it was just a tourist. You’re still ok for patrol later tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. Thank you, Juleka, you’re really saving my butt right now. Hold onto it until the end of patrol,” Ladybug added before she could finish undoing the clasp on the Miraculous.

She nodded. “I’ll just message you a good place to meet up once we’re done?” she asked as she fiddled with her Miraculous. Ladybug still took it back most of the time after patrols, but she had gotten to hang onto it overnight a couple times. And she would be lying if she said she didn’t mind relinquishing her hold on it. She was going to miss hanging out with Roarr and patrolling the city.

“That sounds perfect.” She glanced up at Ladybug to find her smiling thoughtfully at her.

***

She went halfway towards home as Tigress before she ducked into an abandoned back alley. Once she was sure the coast was clear, she dropped her transformation.

“I was looking forward to a good fight…” Roarr complained as soon as she was out of the Miraculous.

“I know,” she murmured, holding out her hand to the disgruntled kwami. “But it’s just as well. Ladybug doesn’t have much time left to work on her project, and I’m all out of emergency candy.”

“I guess…” Roarr mumbled as she settled into her palm. Despite her obvious disappointment at the lack of a fight, the kwami seemed unable to stop herself from purring as she stroked the soft fur on her head.

“I need to stop by the store on the way home and pick up some more eyeliner-”

“Your war paint,” Roarr corrected.

“Sure, my ‘war paint,’ but I’ll get you some more emergency candy. And…” she said, a smirk drawing across her face as Roarr’s ears twitched at the shift in her tone, “I’ll get you some anchovies too.” She couldn’t help but wrinkle her nose at the thought of the smelly, canned fish that Roarr adored. “Would that make you feel better?”

“I suppose…” Roarr said, her purr slipping into her voice.

“Come on then,” she said, gesturing to backpack. As soon as Roarr was safely hidden in her pack, she shrugged it back onto her shoulder and slipped out of the alley.

Once she stepped into the store, she made her way to the cosmetics aisle. Listlessly, she began perusing the display racks. Normally she enjoyed shopping for makeup—especially when her favourite eyeliner was on sale—but the deal on her favourite brand of eyeliner didn’t muster the usual excitement it would have.

Getting excited over a good price on eyeliner felt trivial compared to everything that was going on right now.

“What’s wrong, Juleka?”

She jumped at the sudden sound of Roarr’s voice in her ear.

“What are you doing?” she hissed. “Get back in my bag before someone sees you!” She cast a glance around the aisle, but thankfully no one else was browsing the cosmetics.

“It’s fine, your hair is so thick no one can see me when I’m hidden in it.” She let out a sigh of exasperation, but Roarr continued on, undeterred. “So what’s the matter? Usually you’re happy when you’re looking at all this stuff,” she felt Roarr’s tail flick against her ear, “but you aren’t today.”

“Well,” she said slowly as she picked up a random lipstick off the shelf and made a show of looking at the packaging. Hopefully, if anyone came into this section of the store, it would look like she was just mumbling over the packing of the lipstick instead of talking to her hair. “Alya caught on to what I’ve been up to…”

As she continued through the store, she filled Roarr in as quickly as she could, pausing in front of random displays under the guise of browsing to give herself more time to explain everything. Or at least, everything she could. But even that was only half the truth. Roarr still didn’t know that she knew Marinette was Ladybug, only that she had been interfering with the plots to get Adrien and Marinette together.

Even confiding about her dilemma was a mockery of it.

“…and it’s just a huge mess now,” she groaned as she dropped another bag of Roarr’s favourite candies into her shopping basket.

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t want to keep lying-”

“I didn’t ask what you didn’t want to do. I asked what you’re going to do?”

“I don’t know. I mean- Bustier is always drilling it into use that lying is wrong, and they’re my friends…”

“But…?”

“But if I tell them, they’ll ask questions. Alya will demand answers. Answers I can’t give without betraying Marinette’s trust. And I would never do that.”

Roarr let out a satisfied purr. “A good tigress protects her own, and you’re a great Tigress. This Marinette girl is lucky to have you.”

She bit back a wry smile at the way Roarr distanced herself from Marinette. “But what should I do? What’s the right thing to do?”

Roarr let out something that was a cross between a yowl and a sigh. “You’re asking someone who’s kept her existence a secret from the world for millennia. As for the right thing… you mortals have such rigid understandings of what those concepts mean. There’s right and wrong, and there’s right and wrong.”

“So… you think I should lie?”

“A Tigress fights her own battles, whether with her claws or her head.” Roarr nuzzled against the back of her neck. “Trust your judgment. You may not realize it, but you know what you’re doing.”

***

As she began making her way back home, she tried to think of how she would do her makeup for the dance. She already had a pretty clear idea, but there were still a few details she needed to decide on. Same with her hair. And her nails.

Really, she tried to think about anything except what had gone down during the meeting. But as hard as she tried, her mind kept finding its way back. Relieving every moment of it.

And dwelling on all of it.

‘I told you it was dumb.’

Except, it wasn’t…

‘We told her it was just little miscommunications and accidents.’

There had been nothing accidental about any of it…

‘But I know it’s been more than that!’

And the one time Alya was right…

She could tell them. She could come clean and fess up. Tell them- not everything. But she could tell them she had been sabotaging the schemes.

Except she couldn’t.

Lying was wrong.

But right now, telling the truth didn’t feel right either.

And while Roarr’s advice- well, it felt like a stretch to call it advice… but while Roarr’s words had comforted her, they hadn’t really given her an answer.

If anything, Roarr had only given her more food for thought. And it was tough things to chew on.

By the time she was trudging across the gangplank, she was still no closer to an answer. If anything, it felt like she had spiralled further away from one.

“Hey, Jules,” she looked up from her feet, where her gaze had drifted at some point during the walk home. Luka was sitting on the edge of the stage, his guitar in hand.

“You’re back already?”

“Yeah, Nadine had an audition tonight and Bri had a shift, so we packed it in early. Captain called by the way, she’s going to be later than she thought and the crew is all grabbing a bite so it’s just you and me for dinner. We’re doing takeout, anything you feel like?”

“I’m good with whatever. Just no-”

“Olives. I know,” he chuckled as he idly strummed his guitar. But then he frowned. He strummed the same notes again before he looked up from his guitar to meet her gaze. “Is everything ok? You sound a little flat.”

She hesitated. Luka was always the first person she turned to for advice. But he was… well, he was honest. And she knew honesty and lies were a bit of a sore subject for him, given their ma’s refusal to tell him the truth about his father.

“C’mon Jules, you know you can talk about anything with me,” he said as he set his guitar aside and patted the empty stage next to him.

She sighed as she sat down next to him. “What are your thoughts about… about lies? And lying?”

“What do you mean?��

“Is the truth always better than a lie?”

He turned to her with puzzlement and concern written all over his face. “What’s this all about, Jules?”

“Say you weren’t being… entirely honest about something to a friend.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you were doing it because at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do, even though you didn’t like it. And now some people think you’re telling the truth and others think you’re lying and you suddenly aren’t sure-”

“Jules,” Luka’s voice was quiet and gentle, but firm. “Take a breath.” She did as he told her, and once he seemed satisfied that she was at least a little calmer, he continued. “Now, why don’t you tell me what this is all about?”

She sighed. If there was one person she could be straight with about her recent involvement in the Adrien schemes, it was Luka. “You know how the girls and I used to plot all those schemes to get Adrien and Marinette together?’

“Yeah I- used to? I thought those were still happening. Or did they stop when I asked-”

“They are. Like Alya would give up.” Luka snorted at that. “But… but I’ve maybe been kind of completely sabotaging them for months now.” She spat the words out as quickly as she could, and she suddenly felt so much lighter.

“Really? You don’t say…” The sarcasm was practically dripping from his voice. “What?” he added when she snapped her head to stare incredulously at him. “All those times you found excuses for me to spend time with Marinette? You know Couaffines can only be so subtle.” He had a point: she was still her mother’s daughter after all. And maybe subtlety had gone by the wayside when she had been dealing with him… but subtlety only went so far when dealing with her brother’s particular brand of idiot…

“And you’ve been telling me to ask her out for months. Remember?” She rolled her eyes, but allowed herself a wry smile at the memory of the multitude of headaches he had caused her. “So I take it you’re asking me this because the girls found out?”

“Alya suspects. The rest of the girls think she’s being paranoid.”

“And you don’t know if it’s better to come clean?” She nodded glumly. He sighed as he leaned back on his hands. “Honestly, I don’t know, Jules. It sucks being lied to, and they’ll probably find out eventually.”

“But if I have a reason not to tell them?”

Really, it was a matter of reasons.

“It would have to be a pretty good reason. At least, I think so. And I guess that’s where it gets more complicated. Is it better to hide the truth because it hurts? Or will it hurt more when they find out you’ve been lying to them? Will the lies even protect them from the hurt?”

Her gaze dropped down to her lap.

They would be hurt.

If she told the truth now, they would be hurt. But they would also be hurt if she told them the truth later.

If she didn’t tell them, if she kept lying and they found out, they would be hurt.

But if she told them the truth, Marinette would also be hurt.

She would be going back on a promise.

And if she kept lying and they all found out she had been meddling, would Marinette be hurt then too?

No matter what she did, someone could end up getting hurt.

She saw Luka shift out of the corner of her eye. She turned in time to see him shift to gaze down at his bracelets. She watched as he flicked listlessly at them. To anyone else, it would look like he was just fiddling with his jewelry. But the way he was flicking at it… it was obvious he was thinking about a particular bracelet.

“But I think… well, there are some lies that need to be told. I made you promise not to tell anyone about how I felt about Marinette-”

“Which I didn’t.”

“But I’m guessing you had to tell lies to keep it a secret?”

She had certainly been… creative with the truth. “It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

He turned to her with heavy eyes and a grateful smile. “And I think that makes things more complicated too. Keeping secrets but also being honest.” He had no idea. “Honestly, Jules, I don’t think I have an answer for you. I don’t think it’s an easy black and white problem.”

“I figured as much.” With another wry smile, she stood up. “I’m going to go chill for a bit, and then I have to go out again. Are you ok if we have a late dinner?”

“Works for me. Tom and Sabine sent Aimee home with a ton of stuff and Nadine brought falafel and fatayers-”

“Did you bring me any?”

“You really think there was any left by the time everyone had their fill?”

“Dingo ate most of it, didn’t he?”

“Of course he did.”

“You owe me then.”

“Wouldn’t Dingo-”

“Well, better you had all of that today.” If she was going to bring a dour mood to the boat, it was also up to her to break it. “Wouldn’t want you to have garlic breath for Marinette, now would we?”

“Jules!”

She smirked as she walked away; she didn’t need to look to know his ears were probably glowing bright red.

“Coast is clear,” she murmured once she was in her room. Roarr zipped out of her bag to hover over her shoulder with wide, pleading eyes as she unpacked her shopping bag. With the emergency candy stashed in her backpack and purses, and her new makeup carefully arranged on her dressing table, she rolled her eyes affectionately and pulled out the can of anchovies with only a little disgust.

“And you said I could watch videos on your phone while you read…” Roarr wheedled, giving her her best puppy—kitty?—eyes as she clutched the unopened can to her. She liked to use her claws to open them. Or, as Roarr called it, delivering the killing strike.

She pulled her phone out of the depths of her bag; just as she was passing it to Roarr, her stomach plummeted to the bottom of the Seine.

Two missed texts from Alix.

Five from Mylène.

Thirteen from Rose.

Between the false alarm, her shopping expedition, and her rather preoccupied walk home, she hadn’t thought to check her phone…

Rose 🌹💗: I wanted to say sorry

Rose 🌹💗: I feel really bad about not telling you

Rose 🌹💗: I didn’t think Alya would be so intense

Rose 🌹💗: I thought it would be better to just go along

Rose 🌹💗: that she would realize sooner or later she didn’t need to worry

Rose had sent those messages ages ago.

And she hadn’t responded.

Quickly, she began typing. She just hoped Rose didn’t think she was mad.

Queen of Darkness 🦇: I'm so sorry! I got home but the akuma was a false alarm so I went out to get more eyeliner for tomorrow and I didn’t check my phone! I promise I wasn’t ignoring you

It wasn’t the full or exact truth. But she had picked up eyeliner. And hadn’t been ignoring Rose—or the rest of the girls—on purpose.

But it still felt like a lie.

Dots appeared on the screen immediately.

Rose 🌹💗: It’s ok!!!!!

Rose 🌹💗: I wanted to say sorry

Rose 🌹💗: actually

Rose 🌹💗: can I call you????

Rose 🌹💗: I want to say it properly

She pressed the dial button, and Rose picked up before the first ring could even finish.

“Angel, I’m-”

“I’m so sorry, bijou!” The anguish in Rose’s voice was palpable. “I should have never let things go so far! I should have told you right away! Or at least sooner! Before it ever came to this! But I thought it would be better to just try and go with it. That maybe she would give up? Or see reason- I don’t know but the point is-”

“Rose. Rose. Slow down. Take a nice deep breath for me,” she waited while she listened to Rose inhale deeply and then exhale. “Can you start at the beginning? Because honestly, I don’t really know exactly what it is you’re apologizing for.”

Rose sniffled. “Yeah, I can do that. I just, please don’t be mad at me,” Rose’s words tumbled out in an almost incomprehensible stream.

“Take another breath.” She waited while she again listened to Rose’s breathing. Usually, it was Rose telling her to take a deep breath. “Ok?”

“Yeah.” Over the line, she heard Rose take in a shaky breath, like she was trying to work herself up to say whatever it was she was apologizing for. “Ok, so you remember when we went shopping? And Luka bumped into the guys while he was out buying guitar strings? And he joined us all for lunch, and asked Marinette to the dance and sat beside her during lunch?”

How could she forget?

“Well, Alya thought that you had made Luka come. That you had ruined her plan on purpose.”

Which she had.

“And- well, she told us that she thought it was weird how the schemes with Adrien seemed to be going worse and worse the last few months. And she thought… well, she made this chart…”

Of course she had.

“It started with that time you texted Marinette the wrong time for the movie. And, well, she was just so sure that you were trying to ruin things with Adrien. We all tried to tell her how ridiculous it was! You would never do anything to ruin Marinette’s love life.”

Technically true. Just not in the way Rose thought…

“But you know how Alya can be sometimes…”

Try always.

“And she was so sure that you were sabotaging things so she set up secret meetings without you to plan other schemes that you wouldn’t know about.”

So was that what the unsent message had been about?

“And she said that if the schemes we planned at the meetings you were there for went wrong, that would be proof that you were meddling.”

“But the plans always go wrong.”

Sometimes, they just needed a helping hand.

“That’s what we all told her. But she was so insistent. She wouldn’t listen to reason! And we- well, we went along with it. The secret meetings, I mean. The day I said I couldn’t go to lunch…”

“There was another meeting after the one I went to.” It wasn’t even a question at this point.

“I didn’t like it. None of us did. But… I guess we thought that maybe we could get her to listen if we humoured her for a bit? Help her realize how silly she was being about the whole thing. I think we all hoped she would realize herself. Beforeshe could make any accusations like she did. That’s what we wanted to avoid. None of us liked it. Leaving you out that way. Lying and going behind your back. I wanted to tell you. We all did. But- we…” On the other end of the line, Rose descended into a fresh wave of tears and sniffles.

“Shhh, it’s ok,” she murmured gently. It took a while, but after several minutes of offering quiet, and what she hoped were soothing and comforting, words of encouragement, Rose was able to talk through her tears again.

“I didn’t like lying to you. But I thought it was the right thing to do. Please don’t be mad at me- you have every right to be- but at least let me make it up to you. Please?”

Her heart twisted at Rose’s words. At the tears in her voice.

How could she be mad at Rose? Especially when she had been lying for far longer.

She hesitated.

She could tell Rose. She could tell her that Alya was right, and that she had been sabotaging the plans the whole time.

But not without going back on her promise…

“I know,” she said quietly. “And I’m not angry; I understand why you didn’t tell me.” The words tingled on the tip of her tongue. But… she couldn’t. “Your heart was in the right place. It always is.” Rose sniffled at her words. “I love you. Ok?”

She just hoped she was making the right choice.

“I love you too, bijou.”

***

She flew across the rooftops; the speed with which she was running and leaping, it felt like her feet didn’t even touch the ground.

It was a sharp contrast to the heavy thoughts warring inside her head.

She should have known going into all of this that it would only be a matter of time before Alya got suspicious. If not of her specifically then at least of all the ways the schemes went wrong that didn’t have to do with Marinette getting flustered or Adrien’s scheduling. She should have suspected this would be a bridge she would need to cross sooner or later.

But she hadn’t realized later would come so soon.

And now that she was here…

She had never enjoyed lying to the girls. But it had been so much easier when they had no idea what was really going on. It had been easy enough to brush off the feeling of the lies in her mouth and the pangs of guilt that echoed in her chest.

And she had never lied directly.

Or at least, not often.

She had just… misdirected and misrepresented with her words.

She came to a halt at the end of a block of row houses, catching herself against a chimney.

Wasn’t that the same thing as lying, really?

If she told the girls the truth—well, part of it—now, would they understand? Would they forgive her?

Would they believe her if she said she had seen the way Marinette was reluctant to participate in the plans she knew about? That she had noticed how uncomfortable Marinette was around Adrien? Or would they chalk that up to Marinette’s nerves?

Rose, Mylène, and Alix might- they probably would… but she couldn’t see Alya believing her. And even then… would Alya just take that as an admission of guilt anyway? For meddling? Would her friends be hurt?

Was there even a right answer?

Her talks with Roarr, Luka, and Rose had just given her more to chew on.

Roarr had said she knew what she was doing.

But obviously she didn’t.

And the kwami’s stance on what the right thing was… was less than helpful. She wasn’t even entirely sure she understood what Roarr had meant.

Luka had said there were some lies that needed to be told. He had obviously been thinking about his duties as Viperion.

She had never questioned lying to keep Ladybug’s secrets…

But Marinette’s secrets were just as important as Ladybug’s.

And how could she live with herself if she only protected some of those secrets?

And Rose…

She wasn’t mad at Rose. How could she be? All Rose had been trying to do was protect her feelings.

And Alix and Mylène… they had both confessed the truth- the full truth of what had been going on behind her back. They had confessed. They had apologized. And they had checked in on her too, to make sure she was ok after the way the meeting had ended.

She still wished Rose- that all of them had just told her from the start.

But that just made her a hypocrite. Her hands weren’t exactly clean…

She had told Rose her heart had been in the right place. And it had been.

She liked to think hers was, too. But she had also become so accustomed to lying. To secrets. And everything Rose did was paved with good intentions.

Would the rest of the girls be as understanding? Would they see things the same way?

And worst of all…

Was she only feeling this way now… questioning all of this now because Alya had called her out?

Would she have crossed—or, more accurately, gotten stuck on—this bridge eventually?

Or would she have just continued to lie?

Guilt and indecision weighed down her otherwise light footsteps as she bounded across the rooftops towards her meeting place with Ladybug. Usually patrol was a good way to blow off steam, but she felt just as tense as she had when she left for patrol. Maybe even more so, knowing she wouldn’t have Roarr curled up under the covers with her tonight.

Even if the kwami’s advice hadn’t been helpful, the cuddles always made her feel better.

By the time she had made it to the top of the south bell tower of Notre Dame, Ladybug was waiting for her.

Ladybug was sitting on the edge of the roof. One of her legs dangling over the edge, the other she was hugging to herself, resting her chin on it as she stared out absently over the city. The sun was still in the sky, but it was sinking towards the horizon.

“Ladybug?”

Ladybug turned, but didn’t stand. “Yeah?”

“You ok?”

“Oh, yeah. I just… I have a lot on my mind. I’ve had a lot on my mind for a long time. But especially after yesterday…” Ladybug trailed off, her face flushed with the same shade of embarrassment as last night, when she had collected the Miraculous and apologized profusely for having such a heated argument with Chat in front of her. “You look like you have a lot on your mind too.”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, kicking a stray pebble, “you could say that.”

Ladybug offered her a half smile and patted the empty roof beside her. “Maybe we can have a lot on our minds together for a bit? I…” Ladybug smiled shyly, “I wouldn’t mind having a break with a friend.”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

They sat in silence for some time. Ladybug had gone back to staring pensively out over the city, her hands uncharacteristically still in her lap. An errant breeze ruffled their hair as she turned her own attention out to the city below her.

It was almost comical, really.

That after dealing with countless schemes, ad campaigns, and even akumas, this was what she was getting hung up on. Lying and secrets.

How could she be a hero if she didn’t even know what the right thing to do was?

She sighed. They never showed this in the movies, and none of the interviews with the American heroes that Alya always watched ever talked about this. There wasn’t a guidebook on how to deal with this.

But… if there was one person who would understand lying and secrets better than anyone she knew…

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course!” Ladybug said, angling to turn to her. “I’m always here if you need to talk.”

She smiled gratefully at Ladybug, before taking a deep breath. “How do you deal with it?” she asked quietly. “The lying, I mean?”

“…the lying?”

“You know, the lies. Akuma attacks, well, they happen without warning and I figure you’ve got to have a life outside the mask so I assumed you must have to make up excuses to slip away.” It wasn’t quite the kind of lying she was grappling with. Though, to be frank, she still wasn’t all that great at coming up with excuses to slip away in case Tigress was needed, too. But it felt close enough.

Beside her, Ladybug shifted, then sighed. It was a heavy sigh. A sound that expressed the weight of magical jewelry and everything it entailed. “I hate it.” Ladybug admitted quietly.

Ladybug had her arms wrapped around her knees, hugging them close to her chest. Her eyes were fixed on the horizon, but her gaze was far away. Like she was trying to see something just out of sight.

She let her own gaze drift back to the sky in front of them as she waited for her friend to gather her words.

“I guess… I guess it helps that I know I have to. To keep them safe. Telling people, it would put them at risk. And it’s my job- I want to protect them. So I lie. I lie to my friends. To my family. To Lu- lots of people.”

She nodded solemnly, her gaze fixed out on the city below. Somehow, they had come to the silent agreement that this conversation was easier to have without looking the other in the eye.

It… it was different. Maybe. But it also wasn’t.

Marinette lied to the people she loved to protect them.

She lied to the people she loved to protect Marinette’s happiness.

Sure, she wasn’t exactly out there saving lives with her lies. But wasn’t misery just as much a threat? Especially with Shadowmoth?

“How do you… how do you know when it’s the right time to lie?”

“It’s always felt like lying was the only option. Sometimes it’s just a little lie. Y’know, ‘oh I have to go to the washroom’ or something. But sometimes I need to make the lies bigger. And when I do, well, I try to only do it when I need to. When I need to do or say something, even if it’s hard, to protect someone.”

“I see.”

“It never goes away though.”

“What?”

“The guilt. Knowing I’m lying to people I care about and that I’ll keep lying. Even though I know it’s the right thing, I still hate it. But in some ways… I think the guilt is good.”

“How so?” The guilt that had been eating away at her all afternoon and evening… how could such a horrible feeling be good?

“If we feel guilty about lying, that means we’re still good people, even if we can’t be honest. Or at least,” Ladybug sighed, “that’s what I tell myself to try and stay sane.”

She frowned. “I… I never really thought of it that way.”

“I don’t know if it’s true, but it helps to tell myself that, at least.”

“Whoever you are, Ladybug, you’re a good person.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small smile creep across Ladybug’s face. “So are you, Tigress.”

They settled back into silence, though it was a somewhat lighter silence this time. The only measure of time was the sun continuing its slow descent towards the horizon.

“I’m tired of lying. I want to tell… people the truth. But I guess I’m so used to keeping secrets- and it’s such a big secret and it wouldn’t just change things for me-“ Ladybug cut herself off abruptly. Tigress turned to look at her friend, who flashed her an embarrassed smile. “I’m sorry. You asked me- you asked for advice and here I am blathering about my own problems. But I wanted to ask… you asked about the lying… is it too much? It know how hard it all is, and if this is getting to be too much-“

“No, no. It’s fine. I- I like being Tigress. And I don’t mind you talking about your stuff. Actually,” she said slowly, “it helped. A lot. And for what it’s worth, I think if there’s someone you trust enough with your secret, I’m betting they’d be happy to help you share the burden.”

“Maybe…” Ladybug said thoughtfully.

“I guess it’s a good thing I had patrol tonight.”

“Oh?”

She smiled wryly. “Misery loves company, especially when it’s over the same problem.” A look flashed across Ladybug’s face that made her pause. “Or… did you have something else on your mind? You know I’m here to talk too, if you need it.” The fury in Ladybug’s eyes from last night flashed in her mind. “Yesterday…yesterday was a lot. Are you doing ok?”

Ladybug’s face softened into a smile. “I know. And I am. Doing ok, that is.” She must not have looked particularly convinced because Ladybug chuckled. Enough so that the corners of her eyes crinkled, warping the spots of her mask. “Really, I’m fine. I promise,” she said before turning back to look over the city. “Last night was hard. Lying is hard. But sometimes…sometimes… well, I think it’s good. To do the hard things, that is. Even when you really don’t want to.”

That did not sound… reassuring.

Maybe it was good to do hard things sometimes, but Chat had made things harder than necessary yesterday. He had been for a long time.

There was still a hint of a smile onLadybug’s face, but it was caught somewhere between wistful and wry. And the look in her eyes… it wasn’t unlike the look Marinette got when she was studying a piece of clothing, trying to figure out its construction and such. Then the glint in her eyes was gone.

She shifted beside Ladybug, opening her mouth to say something. But before she could figure out the words, Ladybug broke the silence.

“I promise, I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”

“I do.”

She did. She just hoped Ladybug wasn’t going to make things harder for herself than they already were.

Speaking of which…

“I’m sorry for keeping you so long. I know you’re working to a deadline.”

“Don’t worry about it. I was probably due for a break anyways and…” Ladybug smiled softly, “it was nice. Talking about all of this. I’ve never really had anyone who got it.”

Ladybug- Marinette should have had someone who got it. She deserved someone who got it. She should have had someone from the start.

And she… she hadn’t realized it until now. But she hadn’t really had someone who got it either. Not all of it. Luka… there were some things she couldn’t tell hm. Some things he couldn’t get. But even if she couldn’t talk to Luka about everything, he was always there. And just knowing he was there made all the difference. But…

She hadn’t truly realized, hadn’t truly appreciated how much it meant to have someone who got it. And it made her heart ache that Marinette had been without someone for so long.

“I may not get all of it, but I’m here. Whenever you need me.”

***

“Get all your errands done?”

“Yep. Get all your love songs written?”

“Nope,” he half sighed. She could hear the eye roll in his voice. “Food should be here soon. I ordered sushi.”

“Did you get-”

“Yes, I got spicy tuna. And spicy salmon.”

“Good. I’m going down below for a bit. I need to figure out how I’m doing my nails for tomorrow- yes, you can borrow my good black nail polish.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you know when the food’s here.”

Once she was back in her room, she spread her nail polish bottles out across her dressing table. She probably wouldn’t do a manicure, given she had the lace gloves, but her shoes were open toed so it would be nice to have her toenails painted.

Plus, she could really use a nice, relaxing pedicure.

Honestly, she could do with a whole spa day. But that would have to wait. For now, an at home pedicure would have to do.

She had just gotten her choices narrowed down, and was trying to decide which of the two deep plum shades would better match the lipstick she was planning on wearing when Luka’s voice floated down from above deck.

“Jules.” She frowned at the sound of his voice. It was… it wasn’t… usually, when he called her to let her know their food was there or he needed her help with something- “Alya’s here to see you.”

She almost dropped the bottles of nail polish.

She should have seen this coming, what with the way they—she—had left things at the meeting earlier. Really, when she thought about it, it was suspicious that Alya hadn’t shown up earlier. Like right after the akuma was declared a hoax. Although… maybe there had been another meeting, like the ones Rose had told her had been going on…

But Rose hadn’t said anything about another meeting taking place after the one she had run out of. And based on the timestamps, Mylène, Alix, and Rose had all started texting her almost right after she had bolted out.

Grimacing, she set down the bottles of nail polish. Alya was probably the last person she wanted to talk to right now. Except maybe Adrien. It was probably too late to pretend she was in the shower or something…

But even if they didn’t have… whatever this talk was going to be now, she would only be delaying the inevitable.

Sighing, she got up.

It seemed the time had come for her to cross this bridge.

She just hoped it wouldn’t end up burnt…

Luka was standing with his guitar slung over his back and his hands shoved into his pockets. Most people found Luka hard to read; people said he kept his cards close to his chest. Maybe it was a Couffaine thing, or maybe it was just a sibling thing, but she had never had trouble reading her brother. And she did not like the look on his face.

What most people would mistake for his resting face, she recognized as guarded. And there was something in his eyes- annoyance. And a sudden fatigue.

Alya was standing across from him. She looked like she was ready for battle, with the tense way she was holding herself. Like she was ready to spring into action at a second’s notice. To say nothing of the hard and determined look on her face. The same look she had whenever she…

What had she said to Luka?

They both turned to look at her as the top step squeaked under her foot.

Alya’s eyes narrowed behind her glasses, the lenses flashing in the dying light.

The tension in the air was palpable.

Luka looked at her with a silent question in his eyes. Luka was perceptive—about most things—and the vibes Alya was putting out right now? Well, Kim would have picked up on them…

A few months ago, she would have asked him to stay. She would have needed him to. Part of her still wanted him to. But she also wanted- needed to do… whatever this was going to be, on her own.

She squared her shoulders, and nodded. He gave her one last questioning and concerned look, which she returned with another nod. He nodded and left with a promise that he was close by if she needed him in his eyes.

As she watched Luka warily head down the stairs below deck, she steeled herself for the oncoming storm.

“I would have come earlier,” Alya said. It was a good thing she hadn’t come earlier, especially as she had come with no warning. “But I got held up.”

Alya didn’t offer anything more, which left her with the distinct feeling she would not like whatever it was that had held Alya up.

If she had to guess… her money was on a new set of schemes.

Part of her wanted to ask, but there was no way Alya would tell her if her suspicions were correct. Not after this afternoon. Especially not, given the way Alya was watching her, with her arms folded across her chest and her eyes boring into her.

“Just as well,” she said carefully, “I was out earlier. I had errands to run.”

“Oh?” It was impressive how Alya could make it sound like both a question and accusation.

“I needed to pick up some more eyeliner for tomorrow.”

Alya’s eyes narrowed even more, and her mouth twisted into a tight line. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder if Alya was about to demand to see her literal receipt. “Speaking of tomorrow, I don’t know what you’ve been- what you are playing at, but it needs to stop.”

“I’m not playing at anything.” That, at least, was the honest truth.

When it came to Luka and Marinette’s happiness, there was no playing.

Alya raised her brows. “The movie incident?”

“I texted her the wrong time for the movie we were going to go see.”

Technically true.

“The time we tried to get her to the park to see Adrien and she was out without her phone? You were slow to reply. And your messages never agreed to the plan! I went back and checked.”

“I was on the way home from the laundromat, I had my hands full! And Marinette forgets her phone at home all the time!”

“And the photoshoot?”

“Marinette made an outfit specifically for me to model, and I had the makeup masterclass starting the next weekend-”

“You were supposed to bail because of the class!” She and Alya both froze at the outburst; Alya’s eyes went wide, like she hadn’t been expecting to start shouting. She folded her arms across her chest as she watched Alya take a breath like Bustier always told them to. Though her exhale was still more of a huff than anything. Alya’s gaze refocused on her. “Luka asked her to the dance.”

“He did,” she agreed carefully.

“Adrien was supposed to ask her when we all met for lunch.”

“I didn’t know that.” That was the honest truth. Alya hadn’t told her about that particular scheme. Not that that would have changed anything…

“You should have known,” Alya snapped, a note of desperation making its way into her voice. “And Luka looked at you before he asked her.”

“So?”

“You put him up to it. You told him to ask her, even though you know Adrien and Marinette are meant to be.” Alya stepped towards her, a hiss slipping into her voice as she pointed an accusatory finger at her. Pain flared in her hands as her nails bit into her palms from how tightly her hands were balled into fists. But she refused to shrink. She refused to back down or balk. “You’ve been ruining the plans to get Adrien and Marinette together. Admit it.”

Alya was staring her down. Hard.

Months ago, she would have wilted under such a look. She never even would have made it far enough into a conflict to reach this precipice.

But here she was.

And she was not happy.

Alya had shown up, unannounced. She had said only the Universe knew what to Luka. Although she had her suspicions.

And now, Alya was flinging accusations.

Yes, those accusations were true.

Yes, she had been meddling and sabotaging at every turn.

But she had done her best to listen to Marinette and Luka.

She had respected what they wanted.

She had never picked a fight over any of this.

And now?

She was not happy.

Familiar heat was bubbling up in her stomach and coursing through her veins. Tension was seeping into every inch of her body. She pressed her lips together as tightly as she could, biting down on their insides to keep herself from saying something she would regret.

Alya looked just as tense: her chest was heaving and all her weight was on her toes. Like she was ready for anything. And she was staring hard at her.

It would be so easy to give into the white hot anger running through her right now. The anger at being confronted in her own home.

At having accusations, as true as they were, flung in her face.

At having to even be in this position in the first place…

But she couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

She had decided a long time ago that she never wanted to be Shadowmoth’s puppet ever again. And now that she had been given responsibilities, had protected Paris, had worked alongside Ladybug?

Well, that only strengthened her resolve.

She refused to be used like that to hurt her friends, her family, her home, ever again.

And part of those responsibilities- part of protecting everything she held dear, was not just fighting akumas.

It was preventing them too.

She took a breath to steady herself. “We both need to take a breath,” she said as calmly but as firmly as she could. “Neither of us wants to akumatized.”

Alya stumbled at her words, like she had been broken from some sort of trance. She shook her head and then blinked at her, like she was startled by the notion that either of them could be at risk of akumatization.

Without waiting for agreement—or protests—she let her eyes slip shut and began to inhale deeply. A moment later, she heard Alya join in with her.

She let herself focus on the steady rhythm of her breathing, and the slowing of her racing heart. Once she felt calm enough, she opened her eyes again.

Alya was staring at her once more.Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, and there were still hints of a glare in her eyes. But at least it seemed her anger had melted back into suspicion. “Thanks,” Alya said quietly. “I needed that.”

“Me, too.”

“But you never admitted to it. To any of it.”

Right…

The truth was a tricky thing. And lies were just as difficult.

If she told Alya the truth about her interference, maybe it would help Alya step back and look at things for what they truly were. Maybe it would help Alya let go of her fixation on making Adrien and Marinette happen.

But she had made a promise.

And if she told Alya the truth, she would have questions. Questions she wouldn’t be able to answer. Not without breaking her promise and betraying Marinette’s trust. And she would go to her grave before she did that to Marinette.

Which meant that the truth would just lead to more lies anyways.

‘I think there are some lies that need to be told.’

‘I thought it was the right thing to do.’

‘I guess it helps that I know I have to. To keep them safe.’

Under the guise of taking another calming breath, she steeled herself.

And lied as honestly as she could.

“I didn’t tell him to ask her out the day we went shopping. I haven’t done anything to hurt Marinette’s happiness.”

Alya’s frown deepened as she left out a huff. Behind her glasses, her eyes were once again narrowed with suspicion. For her part, she did her best to look cool and collected. She forced herself to stand tall, but she couldn’t keep herself from fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.

“I don’t believe you-”

“-and if you see the dry-cleaners, then you’ve gone too far.” Luka’s voice and footsteps floated up from the stairs, and suddenly he was standing beside her—but a little ways off to give some semblance of privacy—his phone pressed to his ear. “Sorry,” he mumbled, covering his phone, “delivery guy got lost.” Alya’s face turned to disbelief before settling back into a suspicious glare pointed her way. He shot her a look with a silent question, to which she nodded. “Yeah, Darrel? Yeah, I’m still here. So if you take the next right, you should be on the North bank. We’re the houseboat with the huge stage. I’m on deck, just look for blue hair.” Luka started waving; she and Alya both looked in the direction he was looking. A tall, lanky guy with a phone pressed to his ear glanced at them and his face brightened.

They watched as the guy—Darrel—bounded down the steps and approached the gangplank.

“I have no idea how I missed it the first time,” he said as he ambled across the deck, completely oblivious to what he had just walked in on. How he couldn’t feel the tension in the air, thick as pea soup, was beyond her. “Not many houseboats have stages. Anyways, sorry for the delay. That looks like a wicked set up, I bet you could put on a pretty awesome concert…”

Alya eyed her suspiciously as Luka began to talk shop with Darrel.

Would Alya want to keep going in circles with her after Darrel was gone?

Would she- who was she kidding? Alya was not one to give up-

“I should get going. Let you have your dinner.”

What?

She snapped her gaze away from Darrel and Luka to look back at her friend. Alya was still watching her through narrowed eyes. But the heat that had been behind Alya’s eyes was gone. Replaced by a coolness.

What…

“Uh- yeah. Sounds good…”

“I’m sure tomorrow will be the night. The night Marinette’s dreamed about? The night she finally gets together with Adrien. Right?” Ok, yeah. Alya was definitely not giving up.

As admirable as her tenacity was… it was just as much headache inducing.

“Yeah,” she said slowly.

With one last look, Alya turned on her heel.

She watched as Alya made her way across the gangplank. Just one misplaced step… that’s all it would take…

If she were a better person, she wouldn’t be having these thoughts.

If she were a worse person, she probably would have already given into the temptation and pushed her into the river.

But she wouldn’t. No matter how tempting it was… Sure, out of the girl squad, Alya was the one she was the least close with. And the past couple of weeks—months for her—had certainly put a strain on their relationship it seemed.

But Alya was still her friend.

And it was the Seine.

She watched as Alya, now across safe and sound, headed towards the stairs that led to the street. As if feeling her eyes on her, Alya stopped and turned around to meet her gaze. It was hard to tell with the last of the evening sun reflecting off the lenses of her glasses, but based on the way Alya’s mouth was screwed into a tight line… She felt pretty safe on betting that her response to Alya’s parting words had done nothing to quell her suspicions.

Screwing her courage to the sticking place, she returned Alya’s gaze measure for measure. They stared at each other, caught in a silent showdown. And it seemed neither of them wanted to swerve first.

Would it be better to just give Alya the win?

Let her think she had called chicken first? Try and get her to lower her guard?

Or would it be better to hold firm?

Stand strong and not shrink back into the shadows?

Before she could debate herself into any more circles—she had had more than enough of that for one day—the sound of Darel's voice broke the air.

“Thanks for the tip, man,” Darrel said. She turned just in time to see him pass Luka a large paper bag filled with their dinner as he shoved the cash into a bag clipped to his belt. “Have a good one,” he said as he turned and headed towards the gangplank. Still seemingly blithely ignorant of the showdown he had interrupted.

Her gaze followed his movement, and then drifted past to the stairs to the street. But there was no sign of Alya.

“Watch your step,” she half-mumbled, half-called after him absently as her brows furrowed. She jumped at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. When she turned, Luka was giving her the very definition of a ‘concerned older brother look.

“Everything ok?”

She looked back to the empty stairs, and then nodded with a sigh. “Yeah. Let’s eat.”

As she and Luka headed towards the stairs down below deck, she looked back one last time.

#cw anxiety #cw - anxiety #endgame lukanette #juleka vs the forces of the universe #juleka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #luka couffaine #alya cesaire #alya salt #adrien salt #chat noir salt #rose lavillant #mylene haprele #alix kubdel

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darbydoo22 · 2 years ago

Text

Happily Ever After (after all)

a/n: so happy I was able to participate in the mini bang event for @grishaversebigbang this year! Here’s one of my two fics 👀 The fic is inspired by some awesome art and I’m so happy to have met all the amazing people I got to work with 💖

Materialki: @sunshinesartisticquirk (x)

Summary: An AU where everyone lives and Nina gets to introduce Matthias to her parents, Fedyor and Ivan.

Read it on AO3 here or under the cut!

The war was over. The Darkling had been defeated and the fold had been destroyed. Now it was time to rebuild. Rebuild the little palace, rebuild the rest of Ravka, and rebuild the trust between Grisha and the rest of the world that had been shattered by the Darkling.

For Fedyor and Ivan, there wasn’t much to do. The fabricators were hard at work rebuilding the little palace. The healers were tending to the wounded, and Fedyor had no idea what the materialki were doing. Mostly helping the fabricators, he suspected.

But that left the heartrenders, the soldiers, with nothing to do. Well, nothing but sit and think about the future.

Fedyor could hardly believe he got to have a future. One where his entire family survived, at that. They had gotten word just that morning that Nina had been found, and that she was coming home. She had been in Ketterdam of all places.

Nikolai and Zoya had found Nina there while on a mission to intercept some kind of weapon. They were all coming back, along with a couple of…guests. That was the official word.

Fedyor and Ivan spent days trying to theorize what that meant. Did they find more grisha willing to come back to Ravka? That was a possibility, but some random Kerch grisha would hardly be considered guests. Fedyor doubted they had managed some kind of Kerch ambassador, no matter how charming Nikolai could be.

“As long as they aren’t intent on killing grisha” Ivan mumbled.

Fedyor rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“What do you expect? A druskelle?” Fedyor teased as he affectionately rolled his eyes.

Ivan huffed and shook his head. They both knew that Ravka was desperate to rebuild after the war, but not that desperate.

They spent the next few weeks waiting for Nina. All the while, Fedyor was coming up with more and more outlandish theories on who the potential guests could be. He’d suggested anyone from some Kerch mob leader, to some fancy merchant who was sympathetic to Ravka.

It was a way to distract himself, as much as it was to distract Ivan from the waiting. And wait they did. It felt like they waited for months, rather than the scarce weeks that actually had.

Eventually, finally, they got word that the party was only a day’s distance. The excitement was tangible around the grounds of the little palace.

Fedyor had half a mind to ride out and meet them, but it would hardly be appropriate. Instead, he spent the entire time fussing about, trying to calm his nerves. Nina would be here soon. He would get to see his daughter again. It was the only thing keeping him from losing his composure.

Fedyor hardly slept that night. He tossed and turned, and no matter how exhausted he was, he couldn’t bring himself to sleep. His mind was overrun by thoughts of Nina coming home. He hadn’t seen her in years. Had she changed? Would he recognize her at all?

It felt like a ridiculous concern to have. His daughter was alive and safe, it shouldn’t matter how much she had changed. But Nina had always been more on the carefree side, like Fedyor himself. He was worried that after everything she had seen, Nina would be closed off. That she’d shut down and not let anyone in, much like Ivan had.

Gods, it had taken years for Ivan to open up to Fedyor. He was just thankful that they had time. Time for Nina to open up to them again if they needed it.

Fedyor didn’t, however, have time to dally. He quickly got dressed and made his way to the yard where the Royal party would be arriving.

He found Ivan at the front of the crowd. Ivan was technically still the highest ranking member of the second army, so it was his duty to welcome the party home. Fedyor took his place next to his husband, brushing imaginary dirt off of his kefta. Now, all they could do was wait.

He could practically feel the tension radiating off of Ivan, so Fedyor reached out to gently squeeze his hand. Ivan squeezed his hand back in answer, and didn’t let go.

They stood there, at the front of the crowd, for all of ten minutes before they heard the familiar sound of Nina’s heartbeat. The sound of horses fast approaching was apparent only seconds later.

The closer the party got, the more Fedyor could tell about them. There were five people in total making their way to the little palace. One was Nina, and Fedyor was fairly certain that Zoya and Nikolai were amongst the party too.

But the others weren’t anymore Fedyor recognized. Based on the frown currently forming on Ivan’s face, he didn’t recognize the two others either.

When the party finally became visible, there was a loud cheer from the crowd just behind Fedyor. Zoya and Nikolai were at the front, and the Fedyor could practically feel the collective relief of the crowd. The joy of knowing their king was safe.

Behind them were Nina and two other men. Fedyor couldn’t see them very well from where he was, but they both seemed to be sticking close to Nina.

Nina hadn’t seen them yet, but when she finally spotted them, she jumped off of her horse and ran towards them.

She was there before Fedyor even had the chance to move, wrapping them up in a big hug. Fedyor hugged her. He was shaking, crying.

Fedyor hadn’t thought he would have this. When they’d gotten word that Nina had disappeared, he hadn’t wanted to panic, but as the years went on, he had lost hope of ever seeing her again. And now she was here. She was home and Fedyor would do everything in his power to keep her here with them.

The three of them eventually pulled away from the hug, and Fedyor could see that Nina and Ivan had been crying too.

Fedyor used the sleeve of his kefta to wipe away the mess of tears on his face.

“I missed you so much” he told her.

Nina sniffled and smiled at him sadly.

“Missed you too” she answered.

Nina looked back over her shoulder, and that was when Fedyor finally noticed the other two from the party that had arrived.

At some point, the two had dismounted and made their way over. Nina took a step back, and Fedyor finally noticed how nervous she seemed. Her heartbeat was elevated, and she was looking anywhere but at Fedyor.

She took a moment to compose herself, and Fedyor could feel himself becoming nervous as she did.

“Ivan, Fedyor, this Kuwei. He’s an inferni, but he’s going to be helping King Nikolai with something that we’re not allowed to talk about” she explained, gesturing at one of the men behind her. Now that they were closer, Fedyor could see how young he was. Around Nina’s age, maybe younger even.

Fedyor offered him a polite greeting, which Nina relayed to him in Shu.

Nina took a deep breath and continued with the introductions.

“And this is Matthias. He’s… my boyfriend” she said.

Fedyor was speechless. Of all the things he had expected, he hadn’t thought of Nina coming back with a boyfriend. Nina was a wonderful girl, but he just hadn’t thought it would be a priority for her.

Ivan seemed to recover before Feydor, because he held out his hand for a handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you” Ivan said.

Matthias shook his hand carefully, almost as if he were expecting a trap.

“It is nice to meet you as well” Matthias answered with a very heavy accent. A Fjerdan accent, Fedyor realized.

He eyed Matthias wearily, and could tell that Ivan had heard the same thing that he had.

Ivan asked him something in Fjerdan, and Matthias hesitantly answered. Fedyor could see Ivan slowly start to warm up to Matthias, so Fedyor didn’t have much choice but to do the same.

The two talked in Fjerdan, and, as much as Fedyor hated to feel left out of the conversation, he was glad that Ivan would have someone to talk with. The second army had always been hesitant to trust Ivan because of his Fjerdan background, and Fedyor knew it would be much the same for Matthias.

The crowd around them started to dissipate as King Nikolai and Zoya went into the palace. It left the five of them standing outside awkwardly, and Fedyor decided to direct them all inside. They made their way to one of the small, unused training rooms in the little palace. The one that Ivan and Fedyor had used to train Nina when she had been their apprentice.

Ivan and Matthias were still chatting away, and Fedyor could feel how quickly Matthias was starting to loosen up to Ivan. Nina would pipe in every now and then, but Fedyor noticed that Kuwei wasn't participating in the conversation either.

He offered Kuwei a greeting in a few different languages, before they found one they had in common. It was, unfortunately for Fedyor, Kerch. He hadn’t practiced the language in years, and Kuwei had a much better grasp of it than him. But they managed to make small talk, and Fedyor managed to get him to smile before they even got to the room.

Fedyor didn’t know what the secret project Kuwei would be working with the king to achieve, but he would be happy to get to know him more anyways.

And Fedyor was happy. More than anything, he felt complete, having his entire family back. And some new family, if the proud smile on Ivan’s face was any indication.

Nina was only a day’s ride away from the little palace. A day’s ride away from the only home she ever remembered. Her family was there waiting for her, and now that she had no debts in Ketterdam, she could go back to them.

By some miracle, both Fedyor and Ivan had survived the war. Her dads were alive, safe, and waiting for her. She could hardly believe that she was this lucky.

The problem was that Nina wasn’t going alone. Beyond Zoya, and the current king of Ravka, she was bringing Kuwei with her. An inferni who knew the formula for Jurda Parem. She thought he might be able to help her with whatever was going on with her powers now, but she wasn’t very hopeful.

Worse yet was Matthias. She was bringing a druskelle to Ravka. Even if he had renounced his ways and had sworn to protect her, the promise would mean little to most of the Grisha waiting for them. Matthias had reluctantly given Nicolai some key information on Fjerda as a show of good faith, which was the only reason Nikolai had allowed him to come in the first place.

The last day’s ride went by quickly, both far too quickly and not quickly enough for Nina. The closer they got to the Little Palace, the more nervous she got.

How would Ivan and Fedyor react to Matthias? To the news that she had taken the Jurda Parem? To… whatever was going on with her powers these days. All she could do was hope that they wouldn’t hate her for what she had had to do to survive, and to keep her friends alive.

As they rode up to the gates of Ravka, Nina could practically feel the excitement in the air. The war was over, Ravka had triumphed, and King Nikolai was coming home. Matthias looked extremely uncomfortable about the entire thing, but with a hushed reassurance from Nina, the two of them continued to follow the royal party up to the Little Palace.

There was a crowd waiting for them there. Well, waiting for Nikolai and Zoya, but Nina could feel all of the eyes on her, Matthias and Kuwei. The three of them stood out compared to the royal party they had arrived with.

Nina didn’t particularly care. She knew that everyone would judge them, or be weary at the very least. Finding her family was more important than what the others thought.

Nina looked through the crowd for any sign of Ivan and Fedyor. Had she still had her heartrender powers, she would have been able to sense out their heartbeats in the crowd. She couldn’t but it didn’t matter. They found her, and she caught sight of them standing at the front of the crowd.

Nina dismounted the horse she had been riding and ran to them. She didn’t particularly care how bad it would look. She got to them, and wrapped an arm around each of her dads to pull them in for a hug.

Nina cried harder than she ever remembered crying. She was with her family again. By some miracle, they had all survived and had found each other. She just prayed that it would be enough. That they wouldn’t be mad at how different she was, and for dragging a druskelle back with her to introduce to her parents.

Eventually, reluctantly, Nina pulled away from the hug. She turned, and saw that Matthias and Kuwei had caught up to her while she had been hugging her dads. Nina took a deep breath to calm herself, and introduced two people she had grown to care about to the two most important people in her life.

#gvbbmb22 #shadow and bone #The Grisha Trilogy #six of crows #Fivan #helnik #fedyor kaminsky #ivan x fedyor #nina zenik #matthias helvar #fanfic

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