#he is definitely my moirail

[selamat-linting]

*looks at friend* oh man you would have been a great moirail.

[kabutoden]

i love it when people introduce their coolass adult trolls like yes. this is slayer martin the cruel. five sweeps ago he killed his way through his enemies and earned the title of worlds best assassin. hes the most competent warrior with swordkind in all of alternia and he had to duel his matesprite to the death when he was 7 sweeps old so hes rejected love and compassion from his dictionary literally and its like so cool bc it’s like. wow. i love slayer martin hes just like a real cool adult troll he’s so badass and epic and his themes and story is so complex i love it!!! but when i make homestuck ocs its like:

this is my babydoll cringe mcpeeper she’s 6 sweeps and her talent is screaming. really into defying the system these days. yes thats an ankle monitor. she shaved half her head a sweep ago. her mommy does not love her

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

March 19th

~*~

1. itmf

a) nhs and wwx friendship PLEASE, preferably with the same vibes as seen in crazy rich cultivators by shanaatoryteller (he called wwx by affectionate nicknames and was ready to throw down with lwj for him at the minor perceived slight), i just need nhs genuinely loving wwx in a non-shippy way

b) wwx support system! him having people who love and will help him in any way they can! him not having to shoulder so many burdens alone!

1A)

Story-Shaped by lingering_song (T, 13k, NHS & WWX, wangxian, Post-Canon, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Inventor WWX, Found Family, NHS needs a new hobby, And apparently that’s spoiling his Wei-Xiong, Mentioned Character Death, Alcohol, Protective NHS, WangXian Endgame, Not JC Friendly, Not particularly gentry sects friendly overall tbh) NHS finds WWX post-Untamed canon & helps him

🔒 like mayflies wandering series by RoseThorne (E, 21k, NHS & WWX, wangxian, Assassination Attempt(s), Introspection, Regret, Travel, Post-Canon, POV Third Person, POV WWX, Ghosts, Reconciliation, Exhaustion, Pining, Pre-Wangxian, Pining, Feelings Realization, Illnesses, ennui, Found Family, Porn Reading, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Manipulative NHS, Memories, WWX Needs a Hug, Pining WWX, Friendship, NHS Is A Little Shit, Qi Deviation, Resentful Energy, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Triggers, Fainting, Anal Sex, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Grief/Mourning)

1B)

拨云见日 by RoseThorne (G, 1k, WangXian,. Post-Canon, Justice, Anger, Sect Leader Yáo Bashing, Cultivation Discussion Conferences, Restitution, Self-Indulgent, POV Third Person, POV WWX)

~*~

2. I wish to know what fics you're especially excited to read next from your TBR!

Something at the Door by Pip (Moirail) (E, 50k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivation, background 3zun, Background Yi City trio, Intrusive Thoughts, Horror, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Character Death, Blood, Explicit Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mystery, Urban Fantasy) this one got recced by a friend on discord and it looked soooo interesting but time is not on my side

the past drifts away with the waves by thelastdboy (E, 52k, wangxian, WWX & Wen remnants, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, WIP, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, canon divergence, fall of lotus pier, major characger undeath, YZY being an asshole, implied/referenced child abuse, minor character death, major character injury, amputation, loss of limbs, transformation, merpeople, fierce corpse WWX, kind of, merperson WWX, resentful creature WWX, undead WWX, riverspirit WWX, it gets worse before it gets better, heavy angst w happy ending, no sunshot, hurt/comfort, politics, not cultivation world friendly, slow burn, getting together, revenge, demonic cultivation, WWX pov, dark WWX, monsterfucker LWJ, wen remnants live, sect leader WQ)

~*~

3. Hey, I was wondering if there are any fics, after the whole story, where Wangxian's relationship with JC is extensive /repaired? @mihashi-kun

❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste for williedustice (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, 🔒[PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)

~*~

4. Heellloooo <3 for the next itmf im looking for fics where wwx is lwj’s favorite person/best friend (apart from also being a couple/in love) like lwj seeking wwx out and looking for him, wanting to spend time with him, being shamelessly friends with him, and everybody knows that they’re a package deal

I Wish You Would by brooklinegirl (E, 51k, wangxian, LWJ FUCKS, jerking off, so much jerking off, wangxian/others, but OTP endgame, "straight" boy WWX, Modern Setting) is a friends-to-lovers with a nice friendship at its core. Focus is definitely on their path into a sexual relationship, though, it's not just about being friends, in case that isn't what you're looking for.

~*~

5. Please give me some serious self harming fics. Real angst. I don't care if people think me cringe or weird for wanting therapy and comfort from a fanfiction, but I've been feeling self destructive lately and the deeper and deeper cuts on my arms are a testament to it. I cannot ground myself. I've been too alone and lonely lately. I love reading. Please give me some ground to sit down for a while

Twin Demons of Mò by XiaoFeiFei (M, 358k, MXY & WWX, WangXian, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Abuse, Twin Demons of Mo, MXY Lives, Major Character Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Angst, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Minor Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Canon Divergence, Self-Harm, Found Family, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, POV Alternating)

could also check the Heavy Angst comp, there's sure to be something there

~*~

6. Hello I'm here for wwx protection squad dynamics. Like I want fics where wwx doesn't have to do anything, before he wants anything or before anyone could do to harm him or anything, there are people defending him and keeping him safe.

🧡 the stone-filled sea by yukla (T, 9k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, Post-Canon, senior wei defense squad, [Podfic] the stone-filled sea by yukla by Beria1021, the stone-filled sea [Podfic] by BrickGrass)

💖Teen Project to Change the World animeloverhomura (Not rated, 810k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Watching the Show, With a bit of the Manhua and Book thrown in, scharacters watching the future, BAMF WWX, Fix-It, JGS is his own warning, Attractive WWX, Homophobia, disturbing imagery)

Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, wangxian, hualian, WIP, TGCF, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, characters watching their series, Time Travel Fix-it)

~*~

7. Hello!!!!!!! Love all the hard work you put into this blog! I’m in the mood for fics featuring wangxian growing together, like fics with adorable kids wangxian and then awkward preteen wangxian and then finally growing into their skins young adult wangxian and all that

Thxxxxx

soft-hearted by sarahyyy (G, 6k, WangXian, Childhood Friends, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, First Kiss, Wedding Fluff)

Hope series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, wangxian, WWX & YZY, WWX & JFM, WWX & JYL, YZY/JFM, JC & WWX, LQR & WWX, LXC & JYL, Madam Jin & YZY, LQR & JFM, LXC & LWJ, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Crying, Music, Nosebleed, Fear, Recovery, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Monsters, Sexual Tension, betrothal, Arranged Marriage, Grief, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect, Kid Fic, Epistolary, Food, Secrets, Resentful Energy, Cultivation Sect Politics, Character Death)

~*~

8. Hello! ITMF blind!Wei Wuxian? Canon or modern. thank you!

🧡 close your eyes, feel my heartbeatby ThatDesiGirl (T, 11k, WangXian, blind!WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rewriting Canon, not a fix-it but a what-if, Golden Core Transfer) WWX is blind, but MXY isn't

The Darkness Before Dawn by PsycheStellata707 (M, 113k, WIP, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, BAMF WWX, Time Travel, Attempt at Humor, PTSD, Oblivious WWX, WWX-centric, Blind WWX, Sentient Burial Mounds, Self-Indulgent, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Oblivious Pining, Not Canon Compliant) link in #16

~*~

9. hiiii hope you all are well!!! I'm itmf your favorite memory loss/amnesia fics pls! thank u and have a lovely day 🩷 @loveshinesbrightly

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

🧡 the river brought you here by chilianxianzi (Not Rated, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, POV Outsider, Amnesia, Past abuse, Strangulation, Found Family)

~*~

10. hii! for imtf: anything with true loves kiss or something really sad (or both) (no omegaverse pls). thank you!!

🧡 Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 48k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions) It's only a small moment, but a curse is lifted with a kiss

what else is there? by mme_anxious (T, 13k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Swan Princess AU, Everybody Lives, who isn't already dead, Magic, Animal Transformation, Curses, Angst, Humor, Happy Ending, Kissing)

This Lantern Shines For You by apollonie (M, 10k, wangxian, Hanahaki Disease, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Pining WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, LWJ is a Disaster Gay)

with such a suffering, such a deadly life by cqlorphan (T, 7k, wangxian, post-canon, curses, curse breaking, getting together, angst w/ happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort, affection, touch-starved LWJ, LWJ whump, cuddling & snuggling, love confessions)

a safe pair of hands by occultings (microcomets) (E, 11k, WangXian, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Body Worship, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Sharing a Bed, Getting Together, First Time, Curses, Intimacy, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved LWJ)

Turn Left by kianspo (M, 204k, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Friends to Lovers, eventually, references to child sexual abuse, not main characters, Neurodivergent LWJ, Slow Build, Lán Family Feels, specifically, Twin Jades of Lán Feels, lwj-centric, Twin Jades of Lán Dynamics, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Angst with Happy Ending) it's kind of true love's kiss adjacent?

~*~

11. Hi! I was curious if there were any fics like, Seven Second to the End? Where basically Wei Wuxian sought out Lan Wangji as soon as he woke up in mxy body or there wasn’t the elaborate pretending to be mxy on wwx side?

~*~

12. heyy hope you're doing good! do you know any fics that are similar to 'and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow'?

~*~

13. Are there anymore fics like " heaven has no rage " by flipfloppandas ?

~*~

14. Hi! For itmf does anyone know of any Yunmeng-bros fics where they have a good relationship and Wei Wuxian returns to Yunmeng Jiang after his resurrection? Thank you so much!

❤️ By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 31k, Wangxian, Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Misunderstandings, Identity Porn, Identity reveal)

The Twin Blades of Yunmeng by GhostySword, ofmindelans (T, 89k, JC & WWX, wangxian, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Yunmeng Brothers Reconciliation, BAMF JC, protective LWJ, Golden Core Reveal, Swords and Feelings, WWX Resurrection, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Embedded Images, Sect Leader QS)

~*~

15. ITMF cultivators having super senses? Like heightened eyesight, hearing, strength, etc. There is a sentinel/guide fic I really enjoyed, “Hyperprosexia” by malkinmalkout, that dealt with heightened senses and I would love more like that. Thank you so much!

Zhalyn series by meiqi (Silver_Shadow_09) (T, 16k, wangxian, WWX & WQ, LWJ & WQ, WWX & WN, WN & WWX & LWJ & WQ, Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, Golden Core, Golden Core Reveal, But not how you think, OP WWX, one self-sacrificial idiot and his two emotionally constipated best friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Madam Yu's A+ Parenting, Canon Divergence, Location: Cloud Recesses, Location: Lotus Pier, Good Friend WQ, Doctor WQ, Good Friend LWJ, Case Fic, LanWenWei besties - now with two Wens, Self-Discovery, WQ is So Done, LWJ Has Friends, Cinnamon Roll WN, Good Friend WQ, Good Friend WN, Team as Family, Annoying WWX) wwx has even stronger senses than most cultivators in this

~*~

16. Hello again! Thank you for your recs!

I was wondering if you could rec some fics with sentient burial mounds, like- them being protective of wwx, sort of treating him like- either as the master/chosen/hier of burial mounds or something? Or any story with ghosts/spirits being protective of wwx or treating him as a sort of leader or something? Just want some wwx & supernatural goodness lol.

Also, any fics with wwx being sort of like- strangely in tune with nature? And maybe people being freaked out by his connection to the nature or dead. Like - cryptid vibes wwx lol

Thank you!!!

in the blossom season (in the pouring rain) by varnes (M, 13k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, [Podfic of] in the blossom season (in the pouring rain) by exmanhater)

What Lies Beneath These Hallowed Woods by meekome (M, 10k, WIP, WangXian, Sentient Burial Mounds, of the cosmic horror variety, Eldritch WWX, Monster WWX, Body Horror, Eventual Happy Ending, after a lot of whump Fix-It, Canon Divergence, WWX's Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Hurt WWX, Blood and Injury, but he gets better I swear, Suicidal Thoughts, WWX Lacks Self-Preservation Instincts, Protective LWJ, BAMF WWX, YLLZ WWX, YLLZ LWJ, Sunshot Campaign, Communication, Married WangXian)

The Darkness Before Dawn by PsycheStellata707 (M, 113k, WIP, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, BAMF WWX, Time Travel, Attempt at Humor, PTSD, Oblivious WWX, WWX-centric, Blind WWX, Sentient Burial Mounds, Self-Indulgent, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Oblivious Pining, Not Canon Compliant)

To Be Named by Suibian_613 (T, 39k, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Out of Character, WQ is out of character, Everyone is probably ooc, canonical violence, Canonical Character Death, JYL lives, Somewhat Sentient Burial Mounds, WN and JC Rivalry, Sibling Rivalry)

Blood of the Black Earth by wirevix (M, 48k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Xuánwǔ of Slaughter Cave, Sunshot Campaign, Sad with a Happy Ending, Ghost WWX, Monster WWX, Canonical Character Death, Although not at the canonical time, Grief/Mourning, Good Sibling JC, Horror)

~*~

17. Hello! I'm looking for fics with:-

A) rich wwx!! As in- he's like rich af, but people don't know it? Like he's very normal about it but doesn't advertise the fact that he could buy everything he wants. I'd also like if he's big on donating, or just helping people in general and stuff.

B) wwx doing dangerous stuff like volunteering in places with natural disasters/civil unrest, etc. Him being very into activism and stuff

C) jealous sizhui...like- he's jealous of wwx paying attention to other kids and stuff. Maybe something like- wwx thinks sizhui has lwj as father figure, doesn't remember him, or maybe he'll be bothered if wwx acts too familiar or something? So he keeps his distance. It could be a modern au too, or any fic where wwx adopts other kids/is a mentor figure to them/has close relationship with them and sizhui is jealous of that??

I appreciate you taking the time to do this!

17A)

Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, wangxian, modern, slow burn, kid fic, found family, it gets worse before it gets better, PTSD, blood and injury, dissociation, trauma, angst w happy ending, musicals, alternating pov, JC & WWX reconciliation, hurt/comfort, panic attacks)

Sizhui's Smiles by RenaFair (T, 11k, wangxian, Possessive Behavior, A/B/O, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Alpha LSZ, Mpreg, Minor Child Character Death, Read the summary between the lines) it has dark Sizhui jealous over wangxian's new baby

17C)

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 63k, WangXian, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Protective WWX, Protective JL, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Reluctant Matchmaker JL)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[thewertsearch]

@chaosorchestrator asked: John's heart-to-heart with Vriska about her killing of Tavros is one of my absolute favorite pieces of character writing in all of homestuck, and I've been really looking forward to you getting to it. Something about John just seems to bring out the best in Vriska. His availability to listen and willingness to try to understand is just what she needed in that moment. I'm neutral about Johnvris as a romantic ship, personally, but I definitely think they're well-suited to at least being friends. @martinkhall asked: John is probably the first time she's felt anything redder than a morailship that was STILL pretty damn black instead of pale red. Unless you count her seeing Nic Cage in Con Air who she couldn't actually INTERACT with. So yeah, something strange is happening here. It usually does when you feel that for the first time.You could also argue she had flushed feelings for Tavros at one point, but I'm pretty sure she started feeling pity for him instead of contempt and mistook THAT for matespriteship because it was the strongest most positive thing she'd ever felt for anyone at that point. @lilietsblog asked: At this point in time: thoughts on Vriska <> John? Anonymous asked: I think the reason Vriska's genuinely apologizing to John is because, for the first time probably, she's talking to someone who even after learning so much about her and even died because of her, still doesn't hate her

I never considered that John could function as a moirail towards Vriska. That's an idea with some legs to it - although, it highlights an issue with moirallegiance that I've touched on before.

In short, I'm not sure it's a good idea to rely on one single person to help you relax. That's a pretty tall order for anyone, and while I think John gels extremely well with Vriska, I don't think he could support her alone.

The ideal scenario would be for Vriska to be getting moirail-like support from a wide array of friends. The social construction of moirallegence arguably hurts trolls like Vriska, because it prevents them from being emotionally supported in this way by multiple people. That would be pale infidelity, wouldn't it?

That's a bit of a tangent, though. The bottom line is that John and Vriska make a good pair. I don't think I ship them romantically - not after what happened to Tavros - but I do think he's good for her.

I wouldn't want John to be the only one to truly support Vriska - but maybe he could be the first.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Just read your eridan essay. I left a lot of words in the tags (sorry about that btw. I'm @kitkat-not-karkat, those were my tags) and I just. Holy fucking shit man.

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IT INTO WORDS. Like. Genuinely. Thank you.

That said, do you have any ideas on why Eridan might specifically flirt as a sort of default response sometimes? (I really hope I'm not misremembering that, the fandom bastardizes the poor guy to be Cronus 2.0-)

I have my own personal speculation here, but I'd love to see your take on it!

I think it's a few things all working in tandem, and I think you definitely nailed at least most of it! I do agree that a huge part of his fixation on romance is the fact that a romantic partner is "supposed" to stick around, and Eridan is simply desperate for attention and friendship.

There are a lot of people who idealize relationships and believe that they're the "fix" or "solution" to their emotional problems, and Eridan's obsession with blackrom in particular (where the caligulas part of his trolltag comes from) definitely has shades of that. A kismesistude is an outlet for violent urges, as well as a romantic interest who ideally doesn't ghost you or leave you alone (cough Vriska cough), and one of the two concupiscent quadrants that needs to be filled so you don't get culled.

An interesting thing is constantly being implied within the comic, which is that moirallegiance is actually kind of the most important quadrant for trolls, but their culture has de-emphasized it in favor of the two breeding-related quads. After all, since adult trolls don't have to raise their own young, what Karkat calls "mating fondness" is biologically much less imperative to their species compared to the quadrant that keeps volatile trolls from going berserk and killing people.

Moirallegiance is always treated with a sort of mysticism - it's called "magical" by the narration in relation to Kanaya and Vriska's moirallegiance while that's still extant, it's the only quadrant described as "soul mates," and in contrast to "mating fondness," Karkat mentions the "mystical forces governing moirallegiance." Moirails - Equius and Nepeta being confirmed, but I genuinely believe that that's what Feferi and Sollux would have resolved to in that hypothetical golden ending - are also the quad that spends the most time together, rather than the two concupiscents. The initial description of the pale quadrant even outright says that the attraction is "instinctive." There's something magical and destiny-laden in a moirallegiance that just isn't there to the same extent in the other three quads.

But in Alternian society, kindness, guilt, and the other kinds of things you'd share with a moirail are considered weakness, especially for highbloods. When Feferi is breaking up with him, Eridan flips out the hardest at the implication that she felt the need to take care of him, insisting that he was perfectly fine. I think this is the reason, in addition to the painful breakup, that Eridan never pursues pale relationships, even though a moirail is what he desperately needs. Instead, he pursues the much more societally acceptible pitch quadrant, which can serve a similar purpose of discharging some of his pent-up aggression.

Moreover, his flirting isn't nearly as relentless as people think it is, although he IS both really stubborn AND really socially inept, which makes it difficult both to get a "no" through his brain, AND to make it stick. Another part of it is that he's operating at very little self-awareness, which means he'll often be doing something without consciously realizing it. Also, he's desperate as hell, and has basically no ability to differentiate good and bad attention. This leads to a pretty messy cocktail that basically means:

He'll hit on anyone at least once (desperation), with the exception of people it would be really weird to hit on, for example, their dancestors, who are way older than them.

If a rejection is not made excruciatingly clear, he probably won't register it as a rejection (dumbassery).

Nearly any attention he gets might be misinterpreted as flirting, even after a rejection is made (desperation, also, can't differentiate between good and bad attention).

Even after a rejection is made and he logically understands it and outright says he respects it, he might still act in a flirtatious way unconsciously (zero self awareness).

Because he will hit on anyone at least once, and is constantly making things weird and leaping to "romance?" even when there's no flirtatious intent, people kind of assume he's always hitting on them, even when he isn't.

His emotions always running at a fever pitch, and the lack of self-awareness he cultivates in order to help deal with his horrible cognitive dissonance, mean that even HE'S not sure about his real feelings. He's always feeling SOMETHING very, very intensely (it's the trauma and anxiety), which he mistakes for true caliginous hatred, or fevered flushed intent. Unlike Cronus, who's basically just trying to get some action, Eridan genuinely feels something for people, and his extreme lack of emotional intelligence means he has no idea how to parse his own tempestuous emotions. He always leaps to feverish concupiscent attraction because that's just how intense his emotions run at any given moment.

#4 is happening to Feferi and Sollux, IMO, while Rose never properly rejected him, so he still thinks they have a chance, and the same happened with Vriska when she started ghosting him post-kismesistude. #5 can be seen in his last memo with Karkat, where Karkat starts to wonder if past!Eridan was redflirting with him by inviting him to LOWAA, even as Eridan himself has no idea what the fuck Karkat is talking about.

Thing is, he DOES actually accept rejections once he gets them through his thick skull, which sets him apart from Cronus, who gets rejected, knows it, and keeps going. It's just... Eridan's messy. His emotions are all over the place, and too big for his stupid body, so he's always making things weird and intense.

I blame his lusus, personally. In a previous post, I talk about how a huge factor in his inability to identify negative attention is because he's basically being emotionally neglected. This has also led to his desperation for attention in general. When combined with the trauma from all the murdering and the pressure society puts on him to fit into a certain mold, it leads to some pretty explosive emotional ourbursts, of which his intense, insistent, and downright uncomfortable flirting is a major facet, but also, only a facet.

[fridaynightfuneral]

on your muppet joker theory there's actually been evidence for a LONG TIME that there's gonna be some sort of rift between milton and kermit like even before they were friends theres been a LOT of symbolism about milton and snakes (which yes is partially about his upbringing but still) and with that theres been some interesting reblogs:

like theres been zero payoff to these (that i can think of anyway) so yeah its very likely some shits gonna go down between milton and kermit at some point

THIS IS FUCKUNG CRAZY ?? i liked milton a lot when he was introduced and as it went on, with the moirail and the house sitting and then the woods (the inclusion of gordon kind of feels like someone for milton to abandon kermit for if milton’s just a regular bad friend instead of a legit villain, although i don’t think it bodes well for gordon anyway. love gordon so much tho) i was really enthralled with the story line he had with kermit/colter as well as milton’s own, i always felt that milton occasionally reacts to things out of his usual character but especially really coldly. As well as the thing where sage outed him for lying about being an orphan and his reasoning was they were dead to him but then most other instances of milton have him being someone who would never say that, it’s very much implied in my opinion it’s totally a facade or at least not fully who milton is, adding all of those up with the like references and hints you’ve shown me it’s like..milton you’re shady. also the way he genuinely has expressed more distressed over shit less important then kermit/colter nearly dying in a fire?? like when it was in the brotherhoods consciousness collectively and we were all freaking out milton instead of like i guess just actually worrying immediately jumped to “i must kill the monk buy”, like he expressed concern but it didn’t feel super for kermit/colter and then afterwards was so nonchalant even when he said he was going to visit her, also like he obviously is playing up how dumb he is definitely even if that’s just regular mental illness shit. seriously message me bro we need to discuss milton villainy and other croaker verse shit!! i have so many thoughts abt all of this and would love to hear yours! also what that snake eating the frogs ass for😞

[crushedsweets]

four three two fuck you listen up yall this shit is ironic striders beats are best suited to trolls who hooked on phonics karkalicious definition makes terezi loco she wants to know the secrets that she cant taste in my photo dying js to know the flavour i aint doing her no favours no reason why i tease her flush just comes and goes like seasons im karkalicious so delicious no i dont do kismesis and if you read any fanfics all that shit is fictitious i blow kisses dont matter if we're js moirails trolls b lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail so delicious super sweet fucking adorabloodthirsty so delicious even Egbert wants a piece me im karkalicious lllike candy candy karkalicious def karkalicious def god dammit doc scratch atop fuckign around with my mic karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy nepetas always squealin cutesy pet names like karkitty im the k to the a r k the a the t and the majority of pairings had better include me im karkalicious so delicious my body stays vicious all the highbloods feelin nervous cuz im doing sum fitness Zahhaks my witness bet that shit curls nepetas tail he'll be needin all the towel cuz imma make him sweat pails im karkalicious super sweet so delicious fucking adorabloodthirsty so delicious even Egbert wants a piece of me im karkalicious baby baby baby baby if u rlly want me honey get sum patience maybe then you'll get a taste call me tasty tasty ill be laced with lacey it's so tasty tasty it'll make you crazy t to the a to the s t e y fucking tasty t to the a to the s t e y fucking tasty d to the e to the l i c i o u s to d to the to the to the ill js spell it out for you all the time i turn around trolls gather round always sniffin at me wanna guess the colour of my blood i js wanna say it now i tryna round up any drama little fucker i js dont want you to know and i guess im coming off as a little insecure although i keep on repeating how the secrets fucking awesome but i try to tell, its a secret that i js dont wanna tell terezi says i smell delicious no i dont do kismesis and if u read any fanfics all that shit is fictitious i blow kisses dont matter if were js moirails trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail four three two fuck you my body stays vicious Zahhaks been feeling nervous cuz i got down to business Nepetas my witness ill even let hwr first ship sail js watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail so delicious so delicious so delicious im karkalicious lllike candy candy its so delicious so delicious im karkalicious she says my blood is like candy candy t to the a to the s t e y fucking tasty t to the a to the s t e y fucking tasty t to the a to the s t e y fucking tasty t to the a to the s t e y fucking tasty d to the e to the l i c i o u s to the d to the e to the l i c i o u s to the d to the e to the now wait just a motherfuckin second do i seriously have to spell this shit until the very end of the song i mean whoever fucking wrote the original never had access to spell check i guess because t a s t e y does not spell tasty was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or something? what do you mean human rap artists are the only ones brave enough to write their own grammatical train wrecks and call it music? what the fuck even is will smith doung? he doesn't throw down sick fires anymore? fuck this shit, i quit

You sent me this two months ago and I didn’t reply but I think today I need to finally confront this. Why

[a-cat-in-toffee]

me: yeah im gonna go to sleep

also me: *proceeds to send my friend 650+ words of pepsisprite analysis*

thinking about john being a literal embodiment of the narrative and davesprite being an embodiment of the game. the game and the narrative are intrinsic to each other's existence, but without each other they would be useless. what's the point of the game if no ones watching, and whats the point of watching if no ones playing? john and davesprite’s relationship sort of mirrors that, davesprite wouldn't exist as a sprite if john had never died, but john WOULD have died if davesprite didnt save him. they're necessary to each other's creation and to each other's continued existence and relevance. 

they're the world's shittiest soulmates because their relationship is so riddled with the game and narrative but davesprite and john are tied together in a way which ends up with davesprite always ending up right next to john again. johndirk and pepsisprite are very related what with davesprite mirroring dirk in a bunch of ways, but the difference between the two ships is mainly when they would happen imo. (canon) johndirk can only work postcanon, mostly because they simply don't actually get to meet each other until then, whereas pepsisprite HAS to happen during the game, the 3 year trip to be precise. 

all they had were those 3 years together, really, before everything went to shit. obviously they had known each other before then, but that was john and dave. the "real" dave, before the specifications had to be made. it's kinda sad how because of the timeframe that pepsisprite would be able to work out in, they could never actually have a relationship. like they were both dealing with their own issues (most of which never were resolved, not fully) but it mightve fixed them tbh.

thats really why I'm a big fan of back to the beginning post game aus that include the splinters because their stories are never really completely resolved, most of them are sort of just brushed away or swept into something new (e.g. davepeta)

also going back to what I said earlier on how johndirk mirrors pepsisprite in a way, it does! but there's a lot of nuance to the situations? davesprite is more like bro than dave is, thus making him more like dirk, but he's still a dave yknow. pepsisprite is actually a closer parallel to jakehal, especially by the end of the boat trip with the vaguely antagonistic relationship the two of them have.

actually i think they should be kismesis sometimes as a treat. john has so much emotion and anger built up and having somewhere to vent out that frustration would probably be really good for him. at the same time, though, they're also moirails because john and dave are quite literally the closest humans can get to moirallegiance. john and davesprite transcend quadrants in the actual definition of it, embodying the quads all at once instead of vacillating.

davekat (a ship most people consider to embody all quads) sort of does something similar, however a lot of the time their characterization is of vacillation between redrom and blackrom vs where pepsisprite is happening simultaneously. 

davesprite *is* proud of john and he does really love his friends, however because of the trauma he went through growing up (which was later reinforced by all the shit that went down in the game) he can only express so "ironically" or backhandedly, and john is so repressed to hell and back that *he's* not even sure what emotions he's feeling half the time

I think the fact that the two of them can so effortlessly communicate despite all that, though, really shows you their relationship. john can see the genuine in davesprite's "ironic" statements, and davesprite can pick out john's feelings through all the happy freedom bullshit. they communicate so well despite everything because they're best friends and because they've known each other so long. davesprite is important to john just like john is important to davesprite, and they always end up right back next to each other.

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Nepeta's agency shouldn't be overlooked either. Even if there is little of HER in the comic, because Hussie considered her to be unimportant, she still has presence. Others in the friendgroup, like Karkat consider them to be a weird pair, because they are polar opposites. She is aware that Equius is an asshole, but still chooses to stick around with the horse.

Why do I say 'choose'? Because she still gets just enough exposure from the comic to let her speak about Vriska and Eridan, later on in the comic. And she thinks that Vriska is scary and dangerous, and thinks that Eridan's advances are insincere and creepy. So Nepeta is not stupid or gullible. She has awareness of her situation, even her crush for Karkat, she seems aware that he doesnt really feel anything for her. 'Alpha' Karkat that is, but still. And she's also not an outsider like Equius and Eridan to their friendgroup. Nepeta's been shown to get along with Aradia, Tavros and Terezi, and most likely she's on good terms with everyone, so she definitely has other options if she wants to socialize. Equius can't actually make her do anything. If she wanted to, she could say no, cuss him out, and never talk with him again. Or just give him an order to stay away forever. He WILL take that very seriously. He will be heartbroken, but an order is an order, so he would see it through. None of this stuff is really apparent now though. At this point, Hussie just wants to creep and confuse the eff out of the readers with horse antics.

(Hi anon, you seem to have sent me the same ask twice but formatted slightly differently. I'm going to address this one since it's the more recent of the two.)

I want to thank you for bringing this up. I didn't properly explain how Nepeta's agency factors into her relationship with Equius in my main post. Kind of a stupid omission because it's very important, but sometimes these things get lost when I'm trying to talk about multiple subjects at once. I might just append this to that post because there's a lot I should've said but didn't.

I did comment on this in my post, but didn't emphasize enough that being Equius's moirail is something Nepeta herself chose to do. It may be dysfunctional and other characters comment how weird it is, but in the end, it's Nepeta's choice. It's something she considers an "important job" and one she seems to take pride in doing.

I also neglected to mention the reasoning why she decides to put herself in this situation. It's because she's kind to a fault and sees the goodness in most everyone. It kind of comes with the territory of being the aspect of Heart, I figure. She has a crush on Karkat, a total grouch, and even tries to roleplay with Vriska until the latter insists on playing "mean" characters. I think in regards to Eridan (whose interactions with her were truly insincere and motivated by a desire to rebound after Feferi left him), she could see the goodness in him too if he had dropped the act and talked to her more bluntly. She'd probably recognize a lot of similarities between him and Equius, even.

There's also the duty aspect of it. She might be the only troll other than Karkat to truly care about troll romance. She recognizes the importance of moirallegiance and chooses to pacify the one person nobody else likes. Nobody is willing to stick around someone who is not only unpleasant to talk to, but has a hair trigger temper and is strong enough to shatter glass just from a touch.

But Nepeta can and will because it's the job nobody else is willing to take. She's built different.

As stated by multiple characters and even Nepeta herself, Equius has no real physical power over her. He can't actually enforce his commands and he's not going to beat her or anything if she refuses to listen to him. Nepeta can easily say no at any time, which would be more than justified considering he's always getting in the way between her and her other friends. So why doesn't she? Well for one reason, she's just too darn nice. But there's another reason too.

She's scared. Not for herself, because at no point is she ever in danger. She's scared of the damage Equius can cause to others and himself if he's left to his own devices. Hell, we see him cause an avalanche that would've killed him and Vriska had Aradia not intervened. He did this because he got mad that one of his robots was facing in his direction. His own rage nearly cost him his life. It's pretty clear why he needs someone to look out for him.

So that's what Nepeta does. She heeds his demands and doesn't provoke him because she doesn't want him to throw a potentially life-threatening fit. Of course, we see instances where she disobeys him anyway (talking to her lowblood friends and the humans), but these only ever happen if she's sure there's no danger of him finding out.

With all that said, I still maintain the power imbalance in this relationship is in Equius's favor. Nepeta may be a consenting party to this relationship and theoretically has the power to pull out at any time, but she's still 13 and naive about the world. I'm not saying that she's stupid, but she's a hopeless optimist. She often assumes everything will turn out okay, assumptions that almost always turn out wrong. She believes that Equius will let her join the Red Team if she's careful about telling him (he doesn't), she holds out hope that Karkat will reciprocate her feelings (he doesn't), and assumes that Equius will return to her after confronting Gamzee on the meteor (he doesn't).

Equius, by contrast, is more worldly and more adept at manipulation (a trait he exhibits in his conversation with Vriska, and one that is implied he utilizes regularly when dealing with other blue bloods).

He also exhibits this with Nepeta by speaking to her in a condescending manner, trying to put up barricades between her and her lower blooded friends (calling them hooligans and telling her not to play with them), and snubbing her blood color. This is all under the guise of asserting himself as a guiding figure, someone to look out for her and to "reform" her (i.e. making her into a casteist just like himself).

While Nepeta actively rebels against Equius's bigotry and his attempts at changing her behavior aren't entirely effective, it still reads as subtle manipulation tactic. The implicit threat is still there whenever he makes a demand of her. "Do what I say, or else I'll get angry and possibly hurt myself/someone else." Nepeta, with little worldly knowledge or any other means to stop Equius from doing such a thing, has no choice to comply to keep him pacified.

This is why I say while Nepeta "theoretically" has the power to end her moirallegiance, she doesn't because 1) she believes the consequences of doing such a thing are too large to risk, and 2) she's too nice a person and does actually care about Equius, regardless of whether he deserves her affection or not.

Nepeta does so much for Equius and all he does is put her down and try to isolate her from her friends. At the end of the day, that's why I don't fuck with this pairing. I know this is the fandom's pet ship and I'm fighting against a tidal wave with my stance, but no amount of fluffy fanart is going to change my mind about this.

Thank you again for the ask!

[contrastparadoxx]

Divine Intervention

Antare belongs to @sunnetrolls, Parome belongs to @asks-n-trolls , All other characters belong to me HUGE shout out to @sasster for all of the help writing this i would not have finished without you

Despite Contra’s liberation from beneath the thumb of her ancestor, to the loosest definition possible anyway, there always had to be some reason or event orchestrated to bring her back under his influence. Maybe to remind her of her place, maybe to make him feel better about the embarrassment that surrounded her being allowed to live planetside in the first place. If she thought about it for long enough, the why doesn’t really matter, it’s just that it is something that is.

This evening’s event was no different, but it was supposed to be. Contra’d orchestrated the whole thing herself — A small party on a ship with the premier of her newest movie set to play when it docked at a private island. She’d rub elbows with other industry giants, entertain them, and possibly secure another handful of roles from this very event. She had it all figured out on her own, too, from catering to drink service.

She’d even been able to pull some strings to have Antare among the service providers. It was not ideal, especially considering who bankrolled the event and as such decided that his attendance and the attendance of actors and producersI from more distinguished- read: empire propaganda films- were of the utmost importance.

At least she had the solace of her moirail being nearby, should she need to decompress after her interactions with the overbearing benefactor.

The Cleanser, Archen Aurela, her father.

Try as she did to forget that fact, the man loomed over the crowd all evening, easily the tallest of all of her guests, micro expressions that only she could detect displaying his disapproval for some of the crowd.

It became clear what he was scouring the crowd for when his eyes fell on hers, she felt like a deer in headlights. He did not need to make a large motion for her to get the picture that he wanted to meet her on the outside portion of the ship, now. It seemed Antare had noticed as well, or at least her reaction to such, because as she started to make her way towards the door outside, he stepped out from behind his little counter.

She did not notice.

Once outside the hostess politely asked the singular, incredibly handsy, pair out there to please head inside, just for now, if that’s alright. No, she is not just being a prude she just needs the space for a moment that’s all! In her attempt to talk sense into the duo, the sound of disturbance behind her was ignored, though when they both froze before scurrying off with an apology at the same time she felt a shadow fall over her, she knew her father had arrived outside.

Neither person in this particular argument was particularly prone to raising their voices. It made the gradually increasing volume all the more intense. 

“Why can’t you just let me live my life how I want to!”

“Because you make mistakes. Over, and over, and over again you’ve proven this. That mutant fire hazard, that pastel bitch, that teal” she flinched with each individual mentioned, fins flat with a mixture of anger and… fear? Frustration? Something else entirely? It did not matter, if he even noticed he paid them no heed and continued on. Just as she had been conditioned to expect. “That rust should learn his place, I suppose the Jade is. Fine.” He laughed, a single cruel bark “you know I only let you date that little gold because it will make when you crush him all the better. Finally prove once and for all who is superior”

“You leave your stupid grudge out of my relationship with Parome! And Antare too, for that matter, my quadrants have no bearing on this conversation!”

The look the fleet general gave his descendant was one of both annoyance, and pity. “You exist to serve me, and further than that, to serve the fleet. And it’s about time you stopped fighting that. Those quadrants of yours only get in the way.” He reached towards her, his size alone making an imposing figure.

She jerked away, attempting to avoid his grip, but in so doing she noticed some uncharacteristic splattering soiling his jacket. When did the Cleanser ever let himself present as anything other than what his title implied?

And why were the stains red?

Realization hit her like a truck, making her stomach drop into her toes.

Antare.

“What did you do” she whispered. His gaze followed hers, but he did not answer immediately.

And then he smiled, an expression that was the opposite of comforting, and ice flooded her veins.

“I did mention that rust needed to learn his place, and you certaintly were not going to do anything about it, so I took the task upon myself” his contempt was palpable, as he nodded slightly in a mockery of graciousness. “You’re welcome.”

Contra didn’t care, couldn’t care, his words just noise in her ears as she turned to go check on her moirail. What had she gotten him into? She was snapped out of her head by a growl.

“You do NOT walk away from me, child” the strength with which he grabbed her arm would certainly leave bruises, and her shoulder would certainly feel sore the next day as he yanked. Contra whirled, a rage so rarely seen painted clearly there. Her fury had born a sneer so pointedly full of warning that for once it was clear she was, in fact, of his blood.

“Let. Me. Go. I have a moirail to attend to” she snarled in return, her anger barely contained and the rapidly dimming moonlight making her eyes almost glow.

Only she was there to witness this, he was sure of it as his eyes darted. The partygoers were all inside still, but still for once he was grateful for the disconnect between his fins and ears that made them unresponsive to most emotions. Quickly, however, he turned that brief moment of uncertainty into fury.

“I will not tolerate this insubordination, especially not over something so insignificant as a lowblood“ he hissed in return, neither willing to give way but one far more physically able to force it. Her nails dug into his hand, to no effect, as he began pulling her out further. “I’ve had more than enough of your play, it’s about time someone put you back where you belong. You’re an adult now, you’re going to spend some time back in your proper room while I prepare my ship, and then we are leaving.” It seemed like his mind was made up, and he’d come to the ingenious plan of heaving the two of them over the rails into the sea, likely counting on the cold water to quickly make Contra too languid to fight him.

What else could she do? The words of her mother began to spill from her lips, words she learned and heard before even hatching, nothing an Alternian would understand, and certainly the vile man that brought the frightful song out of her would be unaffected by it- the rune carved painfully deep into his chest would ensure his safety in that regard- but she could not help it. In the face of danger, she sang.

The clouds that started to form finished their work, dutifully blocking out the moons and the tides took a turn for the tumultuous. Ink black waves rolled against each other and smashed into any surface they could find, even the most expert of swimmers would find it difficult to navigate around their anger. Cleanser scowled at all of it, he briefly wondered where the storm came from, there was no forecast for it.

On the other hand, he considered the whole thing rather poetic. Even the weather knew to suit his whims, molding itself to fit his anger, why could this descendant of his not get the idea?

Disorientation blotted the Cleanser's mind when a particularly large wave came up and swept even him off of his intended course, tossing him carelessly into the depths. With that intrusion, he lost the grip of the wayward girl, muscles twitching with the memory of a tail no longer available to correct his positioning in the waves.

He didn't have the time to even begin to try and figure out where the swirl of waves sent her.

He didn’t need to worry, she wasn’t far away. The water swirled around her curiously, supporting her in ways the air simply never could. A deep chill already started seeping into her bones, quickly making it hard to keep struggling towards the surface, towards Antare.  A dark shape, too vast for her to comprehend fully in that moment, filled her vision, then, and a voice filled her mind. A warmth blossomed and she found herself able to think far better than she could a moment before.

‘You called, child, and I answered.’

The mix of, well, everything left Contra still somewhat confused, so she could be forgiven for the confused “Mom?” That came out. Luckily the entiry seemed to have a sense of humor, for she chuckled, a comforting sound that made the whole world feel alright for a moment.

‘In a way, child, though not the one you’ve know up to now. Now, let’s talk a bit about why it is you summoned me.’

~~~

It took some time for him to find her again, and when he did he seized her by the arm. The magic that protected him from the girl's song sent alarm bells through him, and he knew immediately that something was different. 

Something was wrong.

He hauled her out of the water like she weighed nothing at all, and the newly placid waves allowed him to do so with ease, and shoved her up onto dry ground again with force that sent her stumbling to find her footing.

“What did you do?” he demanded, yanking her effortlessly towards the line of rocks connecting the small sandbar they had landed on and proper land. She tugged back, and when he turned back to look at her, there was no hint of the fear and discomfort that would normally be default around him. No, this time she wore an expression that could only be described as smug. “What did you do‽” 

With a hoarse voice, and still through that smug grin, the girl responded, "I traded it away. No more mindless trolls clinging to my every word, no more zombies hanging off of every note." She was triumphant, it radiated off of her, and though he could hardly hear her over the waves and the crowd of trolls clamoring to come rescue the pair, he could tell she fancied herself the winner. "I traded it all away, for a different sort of control."

There was something in her fathers eyes, a look that told her any troll that had the misfortune of interrupting him right now would meet an extremely violent end. She could never stand the way he treated other trolls when his anger got the best of him, so despite the pain it caused, she opened her mouth and, once again, she sang.

No longer would she stand idle while this man's anger controlled her world.

The song she sang, it was not a good song, not on any metric, but her newfound ability did exactly what the goddess promised it would do. Once again the clouds rushed in and the waves became angry, bubbling up to separate the father-daughter pair and their would-be rescuers.

And all at once the truth was all around him, in the form of the ocean coming to isolate him from the rest of the world. He looked at his daughter with what could only be silent fury, or maybe it was fear that coursed through him, and the words were slow to come.

He selected carefully, words designed to drive directly into her heart. It was the last bit of control he could have over the situation.

“Worthless. You’ve made yourself worthless to me, to the empire. A somewhat pretty face that hides the rot of gentleness.” He spat out like venom, disgust forcing his nose to crinkle up as he addressed her. “You know how I feel about rot. You are no descendant of mine. You are no Aurela.”

Only some of his words found their mark, striking with enough force to cause her to falter and he took that chance to knock her off the feet, an easy enough backhand that sent her tumbling down. Flecks of Violet landed to mix with the red.

“Useless vile creature.”

With that he took advantage of a small break between the waves to leap and disappear within them. He left her stunned, gone within seconds it felt, while she sat there and struggled to decipher if it was sea water or tears stinging her eyes.

[walmartairy]

Four, three, two, fuck you

Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic

Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonics!

Karkalicious definition makes terezi loco

She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo

Dyin' just to know the flavor

I ain't doin' her no favorsNo reasons why I tease

Her flush just comes and goes like seasons I'm karkalicious (so delicious)

No, I don't do kismesis

And if you read any fanfics

All that shit is fictitiousI blow kisses (mwah!)

Don't matter if we're just moiraills

Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail(Four, three, two, fuck you)

So delicious (super sweet)

So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)

So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)

Karkalicious def-Karkalicious def- (goddammit, doc scratch, stop fucking around with my mic)

Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy

Nepeta's always squealin' Cutesy pet names like karkitty

I'm the K to the A, R, K, the A, the T

And the majority of pairings had better include me

I'm karkalicious (so delicious)My body stays vicious

All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cause I'm doing some fitness

Zahhak's my witness (whistle)Bet that ship curls nepeta's tail

And he'll be needing all the towels 'cause I'ma make him sweat pails(Four, three, two, fuck you)

So delicious (super sweet)

So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)

So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)

Baby, baby, baby

If you really want me

Honey, get some patience

Maybe then you'll get a taste

I'll be tasty, tasty

I'll be laced with lacyIt's so tasty, tasty

It'll make you crazy

T to the A, to the S T E Y - fuckin' tasty

T to the A, to the S T E Y - fuckin' tasty

D to the E, to the L I C I O U S

To the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the

I'll just spell it out for you!

All the time I turn around trolls gather round

Always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the color of my bloodI just wanna say it now

I ain't trying to round up any drama

Little fucker I just don't want

You to know

And I guess I'm coming off as just a little insecure althoughI keep on repeating how the

Secret's fucking awesome

But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell

Terezi says I smell

Delicious (so delicious)

No, I don't do kismesis

And if you read any fanfics

All that shit is fictitious

I blow kisses (mwah!)

Don't matter if we're just moiraills

Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail

Four, three, two, fuck you

My body stays vicious

Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cause I got down to business

Nepeta's my witness (meow!)I'll even let her first ship sail

Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail

So delicious (eridan, see)So delicious (you can trust me)

So delicious (I'll help you be)I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy

It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)

So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)

So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)

I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)

T to the A, to the S T E Y - fuckin' tasty

T to the A, to the S T E Y - fuckin' tasty

T to the A, to the S T E Y - fuckin' tasty to the, to the, to the

D to the E, to the L I C I O U SD to the E, to the L I C I O U STo the D, to the E, to the, L I C I O U S, to theD to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the

Now, wait just a motherfucking second! Do I seriously have to spell this shit

Until the end of the fucking song?I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original Never had access to spellcheck, I guess

Because T-A-S-T-E-Y does not spell tasty

Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or Something?What do you mean human rap artists

Are the only ones brave enough to write their own grammatical trainwrecks and call it music?

What the fuck even is Will Smith doing? He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore?

Fuck this shit, I quit

I'm sorry what

[sadevergreen]

as a camp counselor (technically not currently bc i went home for Illness) and homestuck fan (also technically not currently bc I'm too busy being a camp counselor) i love camp skaia. which homestuck characters are most likely to be the "we're ALL sick there's no reason you can't do the hike up the hill" (has mild cold and vague heatsickness at worst) counselor x "actual lung infection but thinks it's a really normal cold" (very easily gaslit) counselor program group pair? i feel like eridan and kanaya are hot contenders here

ooo ok this is so good- apologies for the ever loving hell that you are about to see but i sought assistance from my dear dear pale friend @marv3l-drag0ns !!!!!!!! MUAH PLATONICALLLY <> ILY they were a huge help in putting this together

BOY DO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON THIS, THIS WAS EXTREMELY FUN :D

so let’s begin: my immediate instinct was kanaya and tavros are the most easily gaslit, or adhere most to given direction (we’re not going to talk about HIM). but then who to pair them with? they are both wet cats that won’t work. we decided that YES kanaya and eridan definitely make sense! but in which role? it may seem obvious but NO! eridan too sick? whiny fussy pitiful sopping kitty he’s just a beanbag full of milk! so we decided barely sick eridan, otherwise he’d be throwing a fit. instead he’s referring to his Superior Genes! and kanaya is. strugglin. but fuck man here we are 🤷‍♂️

But we’re not done yet!

the next we considered was karkat and terezi!! especially aided through the lens of karkat’s old crush on terezi; he’s too whipped and in denial to deny a girl a hand!

this led to possibly the funniest thing ever: THE INNER KANKRI THAT EVERYONE HAS AND HE SITS ON YOUR SHOULDER AND REMINDS YOU TO BE DECENT AND LEAVE ROOM FOR KANKRI

for the bigger drawings i capped it off with a good ol favorite of mine; erifef. why did i like them? man idek anymore but it worked really well with the idea of eridan being the sicker one, but being ok such thin ice over his constant whining that he just has to go along with it we just though it was funny hehe. it can be viewed through any lens! snippy or non, s’all good here! it’s all canon.

what is he was sick and he couldn’t whine 🥺 what is he was sick and he wasn’t allowed even a snivle about it 🥺 not a snort 🥺 or a sob 🥺 he’s so pathetic !!!! besides, he can’t be out paced by some fuckin kids!!!! HES A GROWN ADULT 16-18 Y/O CAMP COUNSELOR GODDAMNIT!!

MARVEL: “Feferi: ah yes your sickness you have a functioning immune system and are the most dramatic guy on planet earth (only one of those statements is true)” which statement? :) yeah

she doesn’t believe him anymore <333

Ok and that is it for full line art doodles, but!!! i couldn’t resist drawing some more pairs we pondered

ERIDAN AND KARKAT: omfg so good!! but they would 100% either both be tooooo sick and dead, or they would both be mostly fine

VRISKA AND TAVROS: no. and you know why we’re not doing this one :,( we all instantly knew this one would be here but we are choosing to ignore it im favor of…

TAVROS AND KARKAT: Marvel proposed it and it was very interesting!! i think similar to eridan and karkat, where they’re both dead or both barely sick. no i’m between. aggressive yet positive motivation (?) for the win!!! they further proposed that karkat “eats dirt for a living and doesn’t get sick very often”

Overall this was really fun to put together and answer, and i had a blast getting to colab with a mutual along the way :3 so thank you anon and thank you marvel!! this does bring me to something i’ve been meaning to say,,.,,,

@marv3l-drag0ns ,,? we’ve been friends forever, you know my dogs middle name, we complete each other in a way no one else can! you stop me from eating bones i find on the road, and i stop you from ascending to godtier to avoid going to exams…,…

would you be my

Moirail? <>

anyways! that’s all for now <3 this was so fun :) please send in more asks/ requests like this if you ever think of any more! i definitely feel for the camp counselor piece cause that was me earlier this summer PFF and all the counselors got sick and passed something around (but hey! it was an excuse to sit away from 7 y/olds for a few minutes while i got tea for my sore throat)

[alicesoinions]

i saw this post...

Who are these fine young trolls? and where can I learn more about them?

they're the OCs me and my gfs worked on! I don't think I've posted anything about them publicly

they're generally not suuuper in-depth because I'm more of an artist than a writer

Nouond Veedee, aka radiantIcon, used to be your standard poor lowblood until chumming up with Dremia and Folipa and becoming a celebrity.

This is both Keelyn Keekli and Livien Parish; Keelyn used to be a normal bronzeblood, and her neighbor Livien was, unknown to her, a limeblood in hiding. When Livien died, her ghost went into Keelyn, so now they timeshare a body.

Pontif Enlowe, aka committedOutfitter, is actually a purpleblood, but he doesn't vibe with the whole clown business, so he hides as a bronze to work his true passion - making clothes. He's also a costume supplier for Dremia.

Ardeen Dalday, aka insomniacNarcoleptic, is very good at using her telekinetic powers to float. Problem is, she loses control of them while she sleeps, so she ends up floating away from her recuperacoon and having nightmares, so she doesn't sleep well, so she ends up falling asleep throughout the day, which causes further nightmares...

Morryn Blanza, aka liftingErudite, is an exercise aficionado. They commonly do reps in one hand while typing with the other. They have some temper issues (on the market for a moirail), and are secretly a big fan of anime (Troll Hunter x Hunter in particular)

Folipa Seikil, aka illustriousRose, is a total darling, sweet and gentle. Or that's her image, at least. She's actually a total bitch who loves acting behind other people's back, framing them for stuff, and feeding trolls to her carnivorous plant.

Zaneti Zzeran, aka binomialRatio, is a big fan of math. They love reading about all kinds of math problems and theorems. Problems is, they're... not very good at actually doing math. This causes some friction with Rimini.

Dremia Galdis, aka ruefulPlaywright, is an aspiring actress and playwright. She has a bit of trouble with getting too into it and breaking props. She used to be part of the bitch trio with Veedee and Folipa, but has put that behind her and now dates her matesprit Ardeen.

Auraum Brotos, aka thaumidTheologian, is a follower of an ancient troll religion centered around thaumids, a type of lusus that thaumizoologists believe in but whose existence is disputed by scientists. She also digs up corpses and plays with electricity in her free time.

Skitna Pacidi, aka camaderiousOrgeat, loves pulling pranks, specially when those involve sabotaging equipment with her crowbar, and playing co-op games. She is definitely very cooperative. She's not really one for relationships but has a casual pitch fling with Dremia.

Rimini Squalo, aka underwaterSushika, is an incredibly talented mathemathician, but he'd rather swim around all day and moonlight as a secret "lawyer". He's Veedee's agent and bestie.

Lorret Rizzon, aka orinocoanPythoness, was raised far away from polite troll society, so she doesn't really know about stuff like quadrants or blood colors. She grew up along in the swamp, which gave rise to the myth of "swampy the swamp troll". In a situationship with Folipa.

@starlightnyx and @i-like-your-nolaces feel free to add to the descriptions!!

(P.S. there is a pattern to their handle initials but nobody has ever found out what)

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 25/8

Aw, thank you! Sometimes I actually think I overdo it a little - that my dives are a little too deep. This is how I consume media IRL, though, so if nothing else, it's authentic.

The Battlefield is definitely growing. The spatial warping makes it hard to measure how much it's growing, so it could definitely be exponential, especially if we keep adding higher dimensions.

As for how Jack matches up against Bec - Jack is definitely smarter, but he's also a lot more vulnerable, since losing the Ring will render him powerless. He'd have to be incredibly careful in a fight, especially against someone just as fast as he is.

I still think Bec has the edge, but his victory is far from guaranteed. I totally understand why Jade wouldn't want to risk it.

Imagine what Eridan would have said to a 'lowly greenblood' like Jade.

Yeah, there's no way trolls have therapy.

I hate to say it, but the Alternian version of therapy is probably moirallegiance. You're supposed to rely on this one person to keep you emotionally stable - and if you're not outgoing or charismatic enough to find a moirail, you don't even have that.

Of course, this system has nothing in common with the relationship dynamics of any culture on Earth. We really dodged a bullet there!

Gamzee really leans into the 'court jester' aspect of being a bard. He doesn't take anything seriously, nor is he expected to do so - he's just off to the side, dancing.

Yeah, my prediction is that Vriska is going to use him.

If she can manipulate Tavros into trying to control Jack, she might actually be able to remove his Ring. I speculated that she might use some sort of cheat to gain an advantage in their fight, and I think we may have found it.

He casually controls Becsprite later on, so I don't think he needs their goals to align.

As for why Bec didn't try to save Jade - I think he knew instinctually that someone was going to make him save her, so he didn't need to do it manually. That's Alpha, baby!

I can't tell if I've reached the controversial part, to be honest. Was there discourse about whether Tavros had done anything wrong?

Personally, I think it's hard to argue that he didn't, but other characters have done much worse - and in much more ambiguous scenarios, too.

Lord English is coming, send help plz

Thank you! It's kind of funny actually - I know that Homestuck's irregular update schedule used to drive people mad, but I'm reading it at a similar pace, with similar irregularities, and it really has been a chill experience on my end.

Maybe it's because I'm not participating in the fandom the way live readers were, and therefore, I'm not subject to the weapons-grade hiatus brain that Cat has war stories about.

Poor Kanaya - she really knows how to pick 'em. Rose is definitely less stressful to crush on than Vriska, though.

I recently saw this quote for the first time in a while. Excited to learn which of the comic's several thousand plot points it's referencing.

@spyril4132 asked: i have seen this in my youtube recommendations and must now share [s] descend but with silvagunner's high quality nuclear rip - YouTube

Legitimately amazing, and perfectly timed.

For anyone doesn't know about Silvagunner, please take a dip down this rabbit hole.

I do wonder how she's getting physical details about the Sun. Isn't it, like, fully outside of conventional reality?

Maybe the Sun is physically real, despite being in an unreal location. Technically, that's also the case with sessions.

I do like the 'music player' metaphor from an earlier ask. You don't necessarily have to use discs - a cassette player is also a good choice, or maybe an older variety of music box.

If you want to stretch the symbolism a little, your Time Player could wield something really kooky, like an iPod Nano, MIDI keyboard, or analog radio.

(Sally the Time Player would wield Rhythm Heaven for the Nintendo DS.)

It's been years since I've watched Primer, actually. I remember enjoying it, but I don't recall enough to give a proper review. Rewatch time!

Yeah, the rules for Captcha codes are all over the place. This example implies that they hold the general idea of an object, without any 'corruption' - but when John's Ghost Dad poster was defaced, its code did change.

The implication, I guess, is that defacing a poster counts as changing its nature, but spilling oil on a pogo ride does not. It's weird.

It is odd that it's marketed as a beta. Sburb and Sgrub seem almost identical, the latter's bifurcated session notwithstanding.

The human session failed, yes - but it failed due to manipulation, sabotage, and a generous helping of terrible luck. If Gamzee prototyped one of his clown posters, Jack's regicide could just as easily have happened in Sgrub.

All that said - when it comes to software development, I'd trust Sollux over Grandpa any day. If one of those games is more stable, it's Sgrub.

Alright, that one's actually pretty great lmao

[nevercrowned]

4 3 2 fuck you

listen up yall this shit is ironic striders beats r best suited to trolls hooked on phonics

karkalicious definition makes terezi loco she wants to know the secrets that she cant taste in my photo dyin just to know the flagour i aint doin her no favours no reason y i tease her flush just comes and goes like seadons im jarkalicious so delicious no i dont do kismesis and if you read any fanfics all that shit is fictious i blow kisses mwa dont matter if were just moirails trolls be libiing down the veil for a chance to fill a pail so delicious super sweet so delicious fuckin g adorabloodthirdty so delicious even egbert wants a puece of me im karkalicious l l l l like candy candy karkalicious def karkalicious def goddammit doc scarych stop fucking around with my mic karkaklicous definition makes the shippers crayz neoetss always squealin cutesy pet names like karkitiy im the k to the a r k the a the t and the majority of paireingd had better include me im karkalicious so deliciiosu my body stays viscious all the highblodis ceeling nervous cause im doijng some fitness zahhaks my witness bet that ahip curls neoewtsa ntail and hell be needing all the towels cause imma make him sweat pails so delciiosu suepr sweet so dleicious fuckjgn adorabloodthirdty so delciiosud even egbergg want s a piece of me im karkaliicous now you nooksuckers hold the fuck yp check it iut baby baby baby if you really want me homey get some oatience maybe then youll get a taste i’ll bd tastu taysy ill be laced with lacy its so tasty tasty itll nake you crazy t to the a to the s t e y fucking tasty t to the a to the stey fucking tasty d to the e to the l i c i o u s to the d to the e to the to the ill just soell it out for you all the time i turn around trolls gather round always sniffing at me wanna guess the colour of my blood i just wanna say it now i aint tryna round up any drama little fucker i just dont want you to know and i gueds im ocming off as just a little insecure although i keep on repeatingn how the secrets fuckkng awesome but im tryna tell its a secret i just dont want to tell terezi says i smell delicious so dleicious no i dont do kismesis and if you read any fanfics all that shit is ficitious i blow kisses mwa dont matter if we’re ejust moirails trolls be lining down the vail for a chance to fill a pail my body stays vicious zahhaks feeling nervous cos i got down to business nepeteas my witness meow ill evern let her first ship sail just watch that kiytne be the first in line to fill a pail so delicious ERIDAN SEEEEEE so deliicous YOU CAN TRUST MEEEEEE so deliicous ILL HELP YOU BEEE IM KARKAICIIUS L L LIKE CANDU CANDY Its so delicius ay ay ay ayyy so deliccious ay ay ay ayyyy so delicous ay ay ay ayyyy im karkalicious SHE SAYS MY BLOOD IS LIKE CANDY CANDY T to the a to the stey fucking tastu t to the e to the s t e y fucking tatsy d to the e to the l i c i o u s t to the a to the s te y fucking tasty t to tje a to the to the to the to the d to the e to the e l c i o u s to the d to the e to the e l c i o u s to the d to the e to the e l c i o u s to the d to the e to the now wiat just a mitherfuckign second do j seriously have to spell this shit out untik the end of the ficking song i mean whoever even wrote the original never had access to spellcheck i guess because t a s t e y does nawt spell tasty!!! was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or something what do you mean human rap artists are the only ones brave enough to something something call it music what even is will smith doing he doesnt thtrow down sick fires anymore fuck this dhit i quit

GO FUCK YOURSELF

[yanderes-galore]

Fandom: Hiveswap/Homestuck +

Character: Lanque Bombyx

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic Pale relationship

Type of fic: Hc

Other Info: Mb a olive blood reader

Thank you in advance<3!!!

I can't tell for most of your requests what quadrant you mean as all quadrant relationships are romantic in troll culture, but I see Pale, so I'll give it a shot for you. I hope I'm getting this right?

So maybe Anon, if you still read these and you requested the rest of em, tell me this, are you trying to say all your requests are general for pairing or a specific Quadrant because I have them all set to Moirail/Pale currently.

Yandere! Moirail! Lanque Bombyx

(Darling is mentioned to be an Olive Blood at times)

Pairing: Moirail/Pale♦️

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Two-faced behavior, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Violence, Blood mention, Violence implied, Dubious relationship (Moirails).

Alright, this character can be difficult to write as his routes in Friendsim are both accurate and inaccurate.

There's times Lanque can be kind and patient, but there's times he can be the opposite and even flirtatious.

So my version would probably be a mix of his routes.

He'd probably lean into the more caring personality if we're talking Moirail! Lanque.

Lanque would be very biased towards his Moirail.

Your blood color doesn't entirely matter to him but you can be an Olive Blood if you want!

Although... I can see him being more manipulative towards you as an Olive Blood due to your lower blood color from him.

Y'know, due to all the issues caused by the blood caste situation.

With you he'd definitely have the personality of his first Friendsim route.

Poetic, kind, respects your boundaries, he's your perfect Moirail, isn't he?

There may be flirtatious undertones in his words at times but for the most part he seems very respectful.

Especially with your blood color as you both are in a similar group. (Olive, Jade, Teal, and Cerulean are technically middle caste iirc.)

However, I do HC Lanque as being two-faced.

Towards others he tends to be the more rude and sharp tongued personality.

He swaps personas when you aren't around, especially towards those he doesn't like.

This is a dangerous game to play for him if you're an Olive Blood.

Olive Bloods can hold grudges but are very helpful when it comes to helping others with relationships.

Which is probably why you two get along so well, he has so much relationship trouble.

Lanque is no doubt possessive of those he shares a quadrant with.

That includes you, his Moirail.

This is the reason he quickly becomes bitter towards those around you.

How dare you have other trolls in your Quadrants!?

Lanque would definitely antagonize your Matesprit if you had one.

Perhaps even your Kismesis.

As your Moirail, he feels he should know what's best for you.

Which leads to him threatening other trolls around you.

Lanque is probably still touchy with you but not in the Matesprit sense (in this concept, at least)

Due to his possessive behavior he may decorate you in Jade colors/his sign to show everyone you're his.

Despite him actually being foul to those around him, he still plays nice with you.

He's affectionate but manipulative.

He claims those around you are lying.

He would never go after them!

All he wants to do is share poetry with his beloved Moirail!

What's with all the Jade clothing with his sign?

Oh, he just doesn't want you getting hurt!

It's nothing to worry about, dear, just look at him!

I can see Lanque forcing those you have in other quadrants away from you.

Soon you end up breaking off your other relationships, but not Lanque.

No... your Moirail has been taking care of you all along!

What? Your Matesprit/Kismesis left you?

That's so sad... why not vent to him?

He'll hold you tight and shoosh pap you... it'll all be okay!

After all... Lanque would never leave you.

You're perfect for him... it's sad no one else can see that.

Lanque will act like he's innocent with you.

He'll hold you close and tell you you're okay.

All the while getting himself bloody by removing unwanted pests from around you.

You can cry on his shoulder and tell him how betrayed you feel.

Oh, poor grub... no need to fret!

Lanque would never betray you...

So just look at him... and only him.