#he is at the end of a day a human being like everyone else and he is on our side

[obeythebutler]

Mammon's voice rings in your ear, clearer than ever.

You can still hear him bickering about his latest scheme—the one you both had butted heads over—and then there was the mutual agreement of not telling Lucifer about its outcome.

Your eyes skim over the text in the screen, mind focused on the words, memory replaying over and over like a tape.

You ignore Barbatos's outstretched hand. And he lets you, not able to find it in himself to remind you, not wanting to interrupt what fleeting moments remain of you in this realm.

"MC," Solomon's voice is a whisper, meant to remind you gently of the situation. "It's time."

"Sorry," You blurt out, quickly closing your D.D.D. before handing it over to Barbatos. You don't look him in the eye when you do that. You fear your heart will crumble.

"Does this have to be?"

The Prince wishes he could refute what he had said earlier, but there is no other way. No other timeline where it does not end. No other timeline where you stay.

Perhaps all the timelines would have only led to once final outcome.

"What if they just stay? They are happy here, and hastening would only lead to future problems." Lucifer attempts to be the voice of reason, but even he knows that it is an exercise in futility. "Can....there be no other way?"

Your knees feel like they might just give out. Impending doom rests heavy in your stomach, clouding every thought, every action.

"I don't want to leave you all," You mutter, voice heavy. If you say the words out loud you're afraid you'll burst into tears. "You took my D.D.D. too, is it truly that bad?"

You feel the pactmarks growing faint.

You have always come back to the Devildom, always—with the knowledge that you would be back—whether by landing on Satan's head or babysitting seven overgrown babies. You have always come back, from the human realm or the past.

So why not now?

"I do not want you to leave, none of us want you to, but there is no other option. No other choice."

Diavolo's words seal your fate.

It wasn't supposed to go this way, it was—it was supposed to be you and everyone else going through each day like usual, not for this sudden news to come crashing down.

You fear you may never see them again.

A blur of purple catches your eye, and your feet try to escape before your mind can register; you're dragged into the portal by Time itself.

It's for the greater good.

Not for even the Prince of Hell or Heavenly beings to decide.

And now, there is only you.

You and a human phone and a human world.

[muwapsturniolo]

“I-it was just a thought…”

✗ Nothing but fluff, swearing, mentions of smoking but not weed or nicotine, a sprained wrist, and that's about it.

cred to @bernardsbendystraws for dividers.

also, shout out to both @bernardsbendystraws and @quinnysnursery for being dog lovers

Puka was an eccentric dog from the time you had gotten her. She had more human characteristics and mannerisms rather than the ones a dog would usually have.

She huffed at the smallest inconvenience, loved to sleep, and she just so happened to make the same faces as you would when things get weird. However, your favorite trait of hers was how friendly she was.

She wasn't the type to bark and growl at people, never biting or chasing anyone - She was playful and full of love.

So it made sense when every morning after breakfast, she would sit patiently but excitedly by the door, her tail wagging as she held the white harness in her mouth.

She loved being outside, rolling in the grass, chasing squirrels, and most importantly,

Sitting on the pathway and happily barking at the people passing by.

It was her routine.

It seemed as if everyone enjoyed it, always smiling and waving at both you and Puka, sometimes even stopping to have a small conversation.

Most people would find it annoying or tedious, but you fell into the routine happily.

However, there was one specific person Puka would go haywire for. You didn't know his name, hell you couldn't even tell him apart from his triplet brothers - But Puka knew.

She'd yip happily, damn near dragging you off the porch as she tried to get to him every time he stepped foot outside. There were times when she refused to go inside until she saw him, causing you to be late on multiple occasions.

Just like everyone else, the guy enjoyed it. He'd wave to her, laughing as she barked happily. On some occasions he would briefly look at you as well, sending you a small smile before climbing in his car and leaving.

Eventually, the small smiles turned into waves, the waves then turning into the both of you shouting across the street to make small talk.

"Morning! How's it going?"

"Pretty good!"

They were brief interactions, but you found yourself looking forward to them much like Puka.

Little did you know, he looked forward to them as well.

There was a specific day when Puka was beyond hyper. She had knocked a vase over, made you fall twice, and even tore up the bag of dog food sitting in the corner. You ended up taking her outside, going to the dog park down the street to hopefully blow off some energy. It seemed like it worked, her movements slower and more calm than how it was this morning.

However, that changed as soon as you turned onto the corner of your street. She had barked loudly, scaring you and making you drop your phone. As you went to grab it and scold her at the same time, she bolted forward.

A small yelp escaped your mouth as your body fell forward. You tried to break your fall by extending your arms outward, but that didn't help - You definitely messed up your wrist.

You sit there in pain, cradling your wrist to your chest. It's only a brief second before you realize Puka has run off. You quickly stand up, stumbling as you whip your head around to locate the mini golden doodle.

"Jesus Christ! Puka where ar-" You cut yourself off when you see the guy laying in the grass of his front yard, tangled in Pukas leash as she assaults him with dog kisses.

You quickly run over, apologies falling out your mouth as you use one hand to grab Puka by the leash. "I'm so so sorry! One minute, I was walking home, and then she barks, and before I knew it, she's running like a damn track star towards the fin- Are you alright?"

She blinks softly, her brows creasing as she frowns.

"Huh?"

He chuckles and stands to his feet, brushing off the grass from his pants. "I asked if you're alright. your wrist doesn't look that good." She follows his finger and looks down at her aching wrists. He's right, it doesn't look good. it's swollen and a bit red, you could even some bruising forming.

"Oh...Oh! umm- I think I'm ok? I'm just going to ice it when I get inside." She waves him off, not wanting to make it a big deal.

"I'm no doctor, but I do think you should get that checked out."

"Ok yeah, valid point. I'll do that tomorrow, I'm right-handed and since my right hand is messed up, I can't drive without crashing so I'll probably have my friend ta- I'll take you."

The two of them stare at each other in shock.

The guy shocked that he offered a cute stranger with an even cuter dog a ride to the ER, and her shocked that he was nice enough to even offer.

Trying to play it cool, she clears her throat. "I would accept but, I don't even know your name...Nor do you know mine. Stranger danger as my mom would say, although my grandma says strangers are just friends we don't know yet."

He chuckles at her words and flicks his hair out of his eyes, "Well, your grandma seems to be more open-minded. Although, I don't agree with her sentiment, but it's helpful today. "

He outstretches his hand and gives her a soft smile, "I'm Matt, and although my brothers and I have labeled you Golden girl - The show?" He finds his heart beating a bit quicker than normal as she scrunches her nose and tilts her head.

She looked like a puppy.

"The show? I didn't know that was a show."

"So why label me Golden girl?"

"Because you own a golden doodle and you're always wearing gold so...Golden girl."

She hums softly, the nickname vibing well with her.

"Well, my name is Y/n, but Golden Girl works well too." He smiles and goes to shake her hand, only to stop when he realizes he can't

"Right, hurt wrist. let's get you to the ER."

"Wait! What about Puka?"

His own brows furrow in confusion until he understands she's talking about the dog, "Oh! Uhh..." He looks down at the dog who is panting and wagging her tail happily.

"She can come too, I'm sure the doctors wouldn't mind bringing her in."

With that, the two climb into the car, Matt helping her get adjusted and even buckling her seat belt.

It was a short drive to the ER, the two walking in and telling the nurse at the desk what was going on. Soon Y/n is whisked away behind the double doors, leaving Matt and Puka in the waiting room.

"You know Puka, I've had a small crush on your mom for a while... She's pretty. I just didn't have the courage to walk across the street and talk to her." The dog stares at Matt with a childlike gleam in its eyes.

Matt laughs softly and pets her, "but you knew that, didn't you?" Matt swears he heard the dog snicker, but his attention is brought toward Y/n walking through the doors. She has a folder with paper in her hands, as well as a brace on her wrist.

"Not broken, but it is sprained! Doc says no heavy lifting and to let it rest. Is it bad I'm upset it wasn't broken? I wanted the bright green cast."

Matt stands up from the chair and chuckles, "You're something else Golden girl. Come on, let's go." They walk out of the ER and climb back into the car.

The drive back was full of chatter, the both of them comfortable enough to hold an actual conversation. Soon they are back in their neighborhood, the car parked in Matt's driveway.

"Thanks for the ride, and thanks for not being rude to me or Puka."

Matt shrugs, "No reason to be rude to a cute dog and an even cuter owner." Y/n quickly looks away, loving the compliment but not knowing how to respond.

"I uhh-" Matt clears his throat and eyes Puka who is looking at him with pleading eyes. He swallows harshly before continuing.

"I-I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out sometime? W-we could grab food o-or take Puka out..." He trails off awkwardly.

Y/n's eyes widen in surprise, her heartbeat quickening.

"L-like a date?" She questions softly.

He nods and rubs the back of his neck. She was hard to read and he didn't know if her shock was good or bad.

"Y-yeah like a date....I-it was just a thought though so I-it's no big deal if you say no! Like you said, stranger danger an - Yeah."

He stops his rambling as she answers his question.

"Y-yeah?" She nods and gives a comforting smile.

"Yeah... I'll go on a date with you."

It was like the ending of an old-time romantic comedy, the two puppy lovers standing at the end of the driveway smiling at each other,

Ready to take on what could be.

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

“even i’m not into that shit”

❤︎ synopsis — the sleep token members being fucking morons and fucking around

pairing: sleep token members x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦

a/n: I’M BACK !!!! hopefully i don’t disappear for like a good fifty years after this. this is my third set of stupid ass headcanons. i pulled my shitty humor out of my ass for this one, enjoy !!! (the original ask got swallowed by my dumbass because i accidentally posted the unfinished fic 💀 this is dedicated to my bestie @dead-end-fanfiction)

cw: i think the title speaks for itself

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➵ vessel

i just know this man is the most unhygienic motherfucker to ever exist

more specifically with his teeth. he cannot brush his teeth to save his life

like ??? this all powerful, dark deity, has the most stinky ass breath that if anyone dares to even breath it in, they’d disintegrate on the spot

like what the fuck vessel, you’re better than this

i love vessel but he just does weird shit sometimes

he sleeps butt ass naked

and one time you accidentally walked in on him while he was literally stripping to get ready for bed

he stood there like an npc while you were freaking out

“…. what’s wrong—“ “what’s wrong is that YOU’RE BUTT ASS NAKED IN FRONT OF ME—“

vessel is easily fascinated by human things. i mean - he was once human, so he likes to keep in touch every now and then.

however, out of all of the human things he had to have an obsession with.

… it was rubber ducks

this isn’t even explainable— how do you explain this all-powerful sleep entity to be obsessed with rubber ducks

he literally has a whole room dedicated to his collection of anything rubber duck related. give him a gift that has something to do with ducks and he’s making out with you on the spot

that’s not a joke, he did that with you before

➵ ii

this motherfucker is on his last limb and he’s being held together by paper clips

ii’s not even the leader but he cannot catch a break to save his life

he’s the only one that knows how to cook

one time he left ivy and the vesselettes in the kitchen by themselves. came back to house fires and high pitched screaming that definitely was not from the ladies

ii makes bomb ass banana cream pie though

ik for a fact this man does NOT keep his room clean

you once walked into his room to ask him a favor and there were like - a million drumsticks everywhere on the floor while he sat in the center of it

how does one possess that many drumsticks???

“dude what the f— clean your room!” “it gives me inner peace, y/n. go away.”

ii’s scared of the jollibee mascot

he once went out with his buddies to get some of that fast food. that giant red and yellow fuckass bee then came out of nowhere and spooked the shit out of ii

he then socked the guy in the face so hard the dude wearing the costume had a bloody nose

ii quickly fled the scene to not get arrested

after that he’s had a fear of fast food mascots in general, it’s kinda funny.

don’t bring ii near the jack in the box mascot though, he’s got some trauma from what he’s seen on twitter

➵ iii

zesty ahh mf

plays his bass like he’s fingering someone’s asshole like 🤨 whatcha doin’ iii ??

the type of man to set like fifty million alarms but never wakes up to any of them

however he wakes up everyone else in the process

it gets annoying hearing the “by the seaside” ringtone every morning at 6am. so one day you came into his room and poured ice cold water on him to wake him up

iii didn’t wake up from that btw, you thought it was dead

“…. bro wtf wake up—“

thankfully he wasn’t

biggest kpop stan

he’s a boy group stan and his favorite group is ateez

constantly blasting guerilla too

also i feel like iii owns a tumblr blog too

he’d be out here posting some shih like “pov you’re locked in a room w him for twenty four hours and you have to tickle his balls wyd” 💀

he probably posts also moodboards or some shi and tags them like an actual tumblr blogger

#it took my ahh fifty hours to make this plz repost it

stalks his fans on twitter

gets scared by said fans on twitter

“wdym they wanna get me pregnant”

breaks his bass every four hours during practice and vessel chews his ahh out every time

but it’s funny because you’re always there to help him

➵ ivy

he likes to act like he’s tough shit but ivy is a huge nerd

literally the definition of “magical in bed” except the magic is him explaining the gaming system of magic the gathering

hot asf but has no bitches frfr

also the definition of loser trapped in a hottie’s body

i’d like to believe that ivy has a crunchy ipad kid cough

and i mean CRUNCHY. bro will start choking on his saliva and start coughing like a dying seal

it’s quite hilarious, but also concerning at the same time

the first time you heard him cough like that, you were like 😟

“AEUGH- HEUGH— BEUHSHAK-“ “ivy—“

that pretty sums up the entire interaction

this bitch looks like he ate glue as a kid

more specifically glitter glue. the pink kind.

idk that sounds like ivy

he gets literal death coffee in the morning too btw

no ice. no sugar. straight shots of espresso.

eight shots, btw.

the coffee looks blacker than the black hole.

iii tried some of his coffee one time and spat it all in your face. ivy watched with his hell coffee in hand as you beat the shit out of iii

yeah, safe to say ivy was banned from having that kind of coffee for a while

so yeah. that pretty much sums up the kind of person ivy is

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.

[lovelyrotter]

can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck

[dykedvonte]

you make really good points, I think I used the term karmic wrong sorry. I think of it more as not how I personally think he deserved all that happened to him (which thinking back os exactly what karma means, I messed up sorry), but as his fate being directly tied/parallel to anyas. I handnt noticed the toxicity of jimmy and curlys relationship, from the first playthrough I watched and the first interactions I had w fandom I saw so many ppl just. dismiss the terror Anya went through and focus too much on him as the "ultimate victim" and that just didn't sit well w me. I really dislike seeing ppl go "oh well nothing could've been done" I think it's much more complex than that. also I forgot to mention in the last ask that I really appreciate you bringing the point that this game isn't just about the harm of patriarchy but also very very critical to capitalism, I haven't seen too many ppl touch on this. I hadn't thought too deeply about how it makes "he deserved to become disabled as punishment" come up and I agree that's really messed up. I'll try watching a playthrough again with all of this in mind. but either way thanks! I really appreciate your answer 🫶🏼

I guess this is just part of being in a fandom like this. I've noticed a lot of people don't actually see posts outside of their curated view. So some people only get like anya posting or jimmy or curly and it can make it seem like that is what is saturating the conversation.

I mainly just follow the general tags and look for anything new because I'm like obsessed but I know some are only looking for what they want or believe to be the case and can get weird about other ideas.

Sorry if I came off mean its just a last few of the asks have been like circular conversations like this and its not draining per say but seeing all the nuance and details get overlooked to fit a straightforward and basic narrative really sucks cause there's a lot to explore character and theme wise.

[spxrm]

I’m gonna be honest. I understand all the frustration, but honestly, I can’t fault him bc love IS so extremely complex, and he has a right to speak on anything he wants… especially something that he is the topic of.

[omarwolaeth]

thinking 'bout how the lads interact with what the bracelets represent, especially in their decks

[microcroft]

sometimes i see ppl like "no one is talking about this" and all that and i just look over to twitch.tv/hasanabi open on my tv talking in depth about it to an average of 30k+ people. i greatly appreciate the spreading of important information but it is such a strange experience to see and so frustrating because i understand the place this individual is in where it seems like no one cares because you arent exposed to these kind of communities. i just gotta say that despite hearing all this shit about current american politics for hours a day in the background now while i do work, i used to hear this stuff while not seeing so many like-minded people reacting to it in real time and without seeing for example, hasan expressing pure righteous anger on my behalf and the behalf of all lgbtq individuals under attack in america, sometimes directly to idiots in the chat. it feels so much better to hear the news from someone who is outspokenly on your side and unafraid to outright laugh in the faces of right wing people

[three-plums]

i forgot how many x-men adaptations there are and how many of them are bad LMAO

[erinwantstowrite]

Halloween AU!!!

hey so. i put SOOOOO much effort into this au and for what? at least it ended up looking cool? anyways Halloween is my favorite holiday and i just HAD to make something for them!

i had a LOT of ideas for what everyone would be, but i really wanted to stick to a certain theme cause it's based around Halloween. i knew i had to have a vampire, werewolf, and a witch. cause like... obviously. iconic Halloween stuff!! but i took some liberties with everyone else and i think they turned out pretty cool!!

Jason was originally a fox shifter (which i still love and might draw art for some day) but i went with a bear in the end. is that because i thought about tiny bear cub Jaybin and wanted to cry? yeah. yeah it is. i KNEW Steph was going to be my werewolf though i started doubting myself when i went to draw her. turned out to be my favorite drawing on here which makes sense cause she is my light my love my daughter my will to live and all that jazz

Tim was actually gonna be a harpy but thank god i didn't go for that in the end. Duke was the one that was a bitch and a half trying to figure out BUT!! comments on the post asking what y'all thought led me towards Psychic so THANK YOUUUU everybody that commented!! (specifically those who thought of ghost!! Duke and Tim ended up being a perfect duo in this au)

Babs was pretty easy to figure out what I wanted for her. I read somewhere that they are seen as protectors of forests/ are considered spiritual authority figures and also.... she looks cool as fuck. Did not expect how easy it was to find a ref for a deer in a wheelchair though? I can never find the right hand or face angle reference but that was super easy???

For Bruce there was literally no question he HAD to be human. it's literally so funny that everyone who knows Batman thinks he's a spooky vampire but he's human. his first son, however?????? THAT'S the vampire. I knew Dick had to be a vampire too. A little nod towards that one comic run but in my au nothing bad happens ever 🥰 Damian also being a bat shifter is very on purpose because how funny is it that he's a bat man. Literally not a single person in the League thinks that Bruce is telling the truth about being human. Bruce you are NOT beating the secretly a vampire allegations.

adding in Jay's hilarious joke it's so fucking funny:

Alfred is actually a demon. I CAN NOT remember who made this post so if someone can help me find it, it would be appreciated!! because this was inspired by them!!! but somewhere i saw someone talk about Alfred being a demon that Thomas and Martha made a deal with (i think it was for an au idea?) and I just HAD to put it here. Alfred looks so human and everyone expects it, but he's definitely not. I put the ??? because it's so fucking funny. see if you can spot the 1 hint i put on his drawing that something is amiss!!

Peter is from an alternate dimension still, but it is not a world of creatures like him, it's just the same as LoF canon except Peter grew some extra limbs and eyes. He finds that it's actually pretty easy to fit in with the Waynes. Hard to feel like a freak when a guy can turn into a fucking bear, or your dad is a vampire, and the teenagers in the family are trying to summon ghosts or make potions.

additional doodles for this au:

i am still debating whether i am going to draw something for this au or write a oneshot, but i DO want to do something with these for Halloween

[timmydraker]

Tim begins to distance himself from his family after Damian becomes Robin.

It was obvious in the way he ran off to rescue Bruce, but that was more of a physical thing at the end of the day. He was desperate and had lost any kind of safety net and support he had after Dick threatened Arkham and how badly he hurt Alfred with his instance that Bruce was alive.

Either way he was going to get Bruce back, if not because he felt like he was an aimless, nothing human being without Batman then there was that he wanted to be believed.

Then Dick handed over Robin to Damian who at that point genuinely despised Tim, though there was also a level of jealously in the young Wayne’s mind at the intelligence and analytical Tim.

It was then that Tim decided he would bring Bruce back and then do his own thing, outside of Robin and outside of Batman.

He clearly had done his job hadn’t he? Sure Bruce was dead, but Dick was acting as Batman and that Batman had a Robin, so his reasoning for being Robin was extinguished.

Tim brings Bruce back and the older man praises and thanks him for several days and then, like everything else, the attention moves away. It goes to him connecting with Damian on a vigilante level and catching up on the last several months of him being ‘dead’. It goes to Jason who, now that he’s lost his foster father has decided that maybe he could try a little harder after all.

It goes to everyone and anyone other than Tim and this time? That’s actually the plan.

Tim isn’t as good of a hacker as Barbara, but she’s basically a god at it so compared to others he might as well be master level, just not against her. This he uses to shift around peoples schedules so Alfred has no choice but to let him go to school on his own (Tim may have also invented an early morning ‘club’ that was totally legit and not at all a fabrication). He makes it so when Dick is over or Jason takes the rare opportunity to visit he had to work at WE or DI, something important he can’t neglect.

He never has to walk Ace or Titus because he’s busy with his team mates.

Team mates who think he’s busy helping out Batman.

Tim still does work as a hero, but it’s entirely through his businesses after a while. A few times he has no choice but to go out in a boring black suit with a full face mask and hoodie. It’s got nothing on it, no symbols or gadgets. Nothing to connect him to anyone.

He starts with the homeless, dishing out vaccines like candy without even doing a campaign to showcase it.

Then he changes Bruce’s rather naive approach to orphanages and makes it so every single child who is put through is given a small amount of funding. He makes it so kids have more chance to stay with siblings, makes sure everyone who even so much as enters the ground of a orphanage have a real background check and sure the adoption rate drops, but so does the missing kids and DV cases.

Tim steals over fifty million from people like Luther and Penguin and all kinds of corrupt rich assholes for the majority of the funding and not even a cent of it is traced back to Wayne or Drake businesses. Whiles he’s digging into Lex be manages to get enough evidence to put a sizeable dent in his reputation, even if Lex manages to smooch a fair bit of it back.

He’s manages to take out a large sized trafficking ring and helps get the victims into a real recovery home that he hand picks out security for.

Later, as in a few days afterward, he discovers a dog meat farm and everyone medical veterinary student suddenly finds themself free of student loans and debt and with multiple work opportunities available and volunteer work being down right pleased for.

Tim knows he’s being noticed but given that he basically lives in his office in the heart of the city, he isn’t there to hear his old teammates and ‘family’ talk about the mysterious Dread.

Dread who was named that after a report came out about a theory of an unknown hacker or ‘cyber vigilante’ who was stealing money and information from rich folk and giving it to the poor, giving all of the 1% dread that he would hit them next.

The exact quote was ‘Those with money deeper than their pockets dread the hackers next moves. And they should feel that dread as a warning for this Robin Hood like legend seems to be getting braver.’

Dick was sure the hacker would have been called Robin if he hadn’t chosen that name already, to which Barbara responded with grumbles and growl because she couldn’t find anything other than holes and traps left by the hacker. It was like they knew her every move before she even made it!

Tim, obvious to his growing reputation until it fully took off, hadn’t even considered that his actions would be framed a threat by Batman. He would say it was because he didn’t think Bruce would ever really target him like that, but in actuality it’s because he knew Bruce was one of the few good rich folk. Surely he would be on the side of a secret vigilante hacker trying to use horrible people to do good? He embraced Dread quickly and was happy he make the rich squirm and brought a sense of hope to people, it was just like Robin but instead of them being safe and given light they were given a peace of mind in a mix of revenge and justice.

What Tim doesn’t know is that Bruce is still too far into his whole image of black and white, good and evil, that he tends to forget there’s grey areas.

At least Jason is on the side of Dread, even if he still thinks the myth of a story is just that, a myth.

It’s when Tim blows up a bank when everyone has gone home for the night just so people will find the underground money ring that and he visits the manner to get a few things that he hears them talking about it.

By that point it’s been around two years since he dropped Robin and as usual Dick always greets him with a look of a desperate puppy, “Tim! Hi, you’re here. I haven’t seen you in months, how have you been?”

Tim smiles at Dick even if he hasn’t gotten over his anger at his oldest brother and moves to sit at the breakfast table with everyone (Alfred, Bruce, Jason and Damian).

“Good. Busy, we’ve had a lot of donations lately.”

Jason snorts, “No shit. Isn’t Wayne Enterprise one of the few ones not hit by Dread?”

Bruce grumbles and shakes his head, “I wouldn’t say that. They’ve managed to get into our system and completely changed the Jason Project.”

Jason grins and laughs happily, “you mean improved! Crime Ally is doing great now. Not the best, but still a fuck of a lot better.”

Smiling at the man who once beat him to an inch of his life, Tim takes a sip of his tea and casually says, “You’re welcome.”

The whole table goes quiet as Tim continues to casually sip his tea.

The silence carries for a total minute before Bruce puts down his cup and leans forward with a slight growl in his voice, “Explain.”

“Explain what?”

Bruce stands over his son even from halfway down the table and very obviously tries to calm himself with a deep breath, “What do you mean ‘you’re welcome’?”

Tim makes an ‘oh’ expression before cocking his head to the side in confusion, “I was the one who fixed the Jason Project? Wait, did you guys not realise I’m Dread?”

Damian shouts out a ‘what?!’ That makes Titus jump and Tim laughs under his breath, “What did you think I was doing?”

“Running the business! Not stealing from people and black mailing politicians!”

It’s Tim’s turn to growl now and he stands up himself with a glare at Bruce that is as close as any of them have gotten to the famed Bat-Glare, “Are you fucking kidding me? Like are you a Tully kidding me with that horse shit?”

Bruce looks stunned and Alfred doesn’t even tell him not to swear.

Tim slams his chair into the table.

“What the fuck else would I be doing, Bruce? I’m not Robin, that was taken from me, so what else was I gonna do? I finished my job, not only keeping you from killing anyone but bringing you back, so I had do pick something else. I’m not stealing from the rich, I’m stealing from selfish cunts who ruin peoples lives for no reason and giving it to people like Jason. So, don’t you fucking yell at me and don’t try to make me feel bad for this, not when I’ve done more in two years than you ever have and- don’t you fucking speak Dick, not when you were the one who took my place here away from me! Now, I have a trafficking ring I need to expose so good. Fucking. Day.”

Jason is the only one who follows him.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I hate how inconsistent the temperature iOS this time of year. Today the high is like 64 but two days from now they are predicting a high of 80 something. Every morning i have to check the weather to see what I have to do, air conditioning on or off, and when I’m getting out my clothes for the day i have to figure out just how much of the day I’ll be outside. In the morning it will be like 60 something and then at noon it’s like 80. What pants am I supposed to wear like this? And do I need a sweater or will it just be extra bulk in warmer weather? On Monday I was like “oh hell yeah, I can wear my skinny jeans now. And the new ouija board sweater i got at target! And then yesterday it was 75 and i forgot to check the weather so i didn’t turn on the air conditioning or open a window until i noticed it was uncomfortably warm in the afternoon and i had trouble falling asleep because my bedroom (i don’t open the window here very often because i live near train tracks and I’d rather not hear it louder in my bedroom while i try to sleep, and any wind will blow my curtains around and let light in) even with my window open all night while it dipped to around 60 felt too hot, but I refused to use the air conditioner when it was 60 out and nice. I had been using the stove though and that combined with my body heat and the weather warming the small apartment up, I was sweating in my bed and I couldn’t fall asleep. And then! If you sweat a whole lot overnight and your window is open cooling the place down, you’re hit by cold when you remove the blanket. I need to wash shorts and pants and it’s weird. September is always super inconsistent here.

[risuola]

ENTRY #11 ♡ F. READER X GOJO SATORU // I starve for your touch yet fear to savor it.

contents: arranged marriage!au, nudity, reader discretion is advised — wc. 1690

a/n: there was no way i wouldn't write a fic based on this picture. just no way.

series masterlist

Satoru loves to sleep naked.

The beauty of his innate technique, the blessing that he mastered to no end, has stripped him off one of the most basic human needs — touch. He wasn’t missing it that much, he thought, but there was something in letting go of everything and allowing himself to be wrapped in the silky layers of bedsheets that made his body crave the feeling.

He has always picked expensive garments, the ones with soft fabrics and luxurious feel, despite everyone telling him it’s unreasonable to spend so much on a shirt or a pair of trousers, but to him, it did matter. To him, that was the only thing touching his body when a thin layer of infinity effectively forced everything else back. To Satoru, touch was forbidden, threatening. It was a vulnerability that he, the strongest, couldn’t afford.

But that until he’s met you. Until he’s married you.

You were one of not many people he’s made an exception for. You were able to touch him whenever you wanted because the protective surface of endless matter let you in. Because he himself altered his technique to make you capable of laying your hands on his body.

He longed for your touch. So soft, and delicate, and warm. He craved more of it and yet, despite being shameless and confident, he has not allowed himself to sleep bare even once since the day you and him were bound by the knot of matrimony. It would cross boundaries he wasn’t sure you’d wish to cross; it would make you uncomfortable, awkward maybe — and he liked the way your relationship looked like now. He liked the late evenings you talked quietly, alone and intimate in the warm embrace of sheets and your own house.

For you, he let go of the way he used to sleep before because you were worth the sacrifice, but now, you were gone for few days. You were sent on a mission away from Tokyo and the hours Satoru spent alone in bed, thinking of nothing more but your fingertips on top of his skin, made him desperate — and so, he allowed himself the comfort of soft cotton and silk.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You were tired. Exhausted even, by the intense fight you had to pull through, by the uncomfortable nights spent in the dingy hotel room, by the humid weather and rains. In moments like this, there was nothing you envied more in the world than your husband’s ability to warp from one place to another, but you got lucky. Incredibly so, because Ijichi offered you a ride home two days earlier than you were supposed to head back and you thanked all gods and devils for that man’s kindness. He was willing to put on some more road just to get you home.

“Thank you so, so much, Ijichi,” you kissed his cheek — a ghost of a peck that made him all red and steamy and you felt giddy for a moment, seeing the tips of his ears turn crimson. Adorable. You liked him, he was dutiful, polite, trustworthy and constantly terrorized by your husband, so you were determined to at least be the Gojo he likes.

“You’re very welcome,” he mumbled and fixed the frames on the bridge of his nose, pushing them up with the tip of his pointer finger. “Have a good rest.”

“You too, Ijichi.”

Then, he was gone and you were stepping into the house with a deep sense of relief washing over you. Home sweet home. If you were to guess, it was most likely somewhere around 4 am, way too early for anyone to be up — especially your husband — so you gave it your all to stay as quiet as possible. The sun was just showing its first rays from way below the horizon line, crawling up with golden hues and breaking the nightly, navy darkness.

On your toes you moved across the house. It seemed as if Gojo was spending his time alone quite ordinarily — you saw a modest stack of empty takeout boxes, much less humble pile of candy wrappers and his uniform jacket thrown over the couch backrest, along with few other little items that you struggled to differentiate in the nocturnal haze.

You put down your bag, hung up your coat and pushed off the shoes. Ghosting your way towards the bathroom, you were desperate to wash away the combat residuals. You lathered up the shower gel in a rush, desperate to rest and sleep in the comfort of your own bed and then, wrapped in the towel, you tippy-toed to the bedroom, but—

“Came back earlier?”

—you truly didn’t expect to be met with a sight like this. Your husband was awake, just barely, most likely awaken by the water running in the bathroom. His eyes were closed, hidden underneath his forearm and shielded from the lights that were slowly creeping inside, between the dark curtains and onto his face. His body seemed relaxed between the sheets. The softest, gentlest lines of golden glimmer that painted its patterns over his uncovered chest and leg, his hip and one of the muscular arms. The duvet was covering less than half of him, hiding a part of his stomach, the other leg and—

“You’re staring.”

Satoru didn’t even have to look at you to know that your gaze was lingering on his frame. On his very, very naked frame, just barely concealed by the comforter.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks and reaching the tips of your ears and you thanked the darkness for hiding it away. You walked around the bed, hoping to find your pajama where you left it and trying to force your head out of the gutter. You heard your husband letting out a deep exhale and then, a soft hum. His voice was as melodic as always, though you could tell how much sleepiness was laced into it.

Satoru should’ve notice you when you entered the area of your house, but he didn’t. Tired by his own job, by the classes and all of the meetings, he allowed himself to lower his guard and when he realized you’re home, he contemplated for a moment getting up and dressed, but he just didn’t want to.

“You’re exhausted, screw pajamas, just come here,” he said before he managed to think twice about it. It was a daring offer, inappropriate even and he opened his mouth to apologize for it, but then, you rendered him speechless.

Your weight felt good on top of him. You lay your body over his own with feathery gentleness and carefully maneuvered your way to rest on his chest completely. The touch of your skin flush to his own made his brain to short circuit, it felt divine, too good to be true and just so very right, he couldn’t say a word.

“Is that alright?” You asked quietly, pressing your ear right above his heart and letting out a breath that you held for a little too long. Your face felt hot, you were flushed and flustered but also oddly at ease with the current position and you wondered for a moment if it was the tiredness that made you so bold.

“More than that,” he replied, pulling the covers to hide you beneath them. He allowed one of his arms to snake around your waist and his lips to kiss the top of your head. “Rest. Sleep well, wifey.”

“Good night.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

10:19 AM

Satoru thought he was dreaming, but the weight on top of him felt too real. The soft scent of citrusy shower gel that lingered on your skin filled in his lungs each time he took a breath in and there was a tickle, he realized — every time his chest raised, a strand of your hair seemed to be moving against his jawline. You were not a dream.

He opened his eyes, blinking few times, adjusting them to the bright light that forced its way into the bedroom and then, he looked at you. You were still very deep asleep, he could tell based off the long inhales you were taking, slow and relaxed, fanning against his peck rhythmically. Your body was mostly on top of him, you were on his chest, your leg was between his and only your hips were resting on the bed. He still had his arm around you, as if making sure you were as close as possible.

It felt incredible. Intimate. It was everything he could have wished for. A touch, skin to skin, so intense it almost took his breath away. He felt nauseous at the thought, realizing that it’s the first time in his life, he’s that close to someone. So impossibly close that just a little bit more and you’d become a part of him. His heartbeat quickened.

It was so right. So awfully correct and at the same time, so very threatening. He felt helpless. Vulnerable. He was at your mercy, he was robbed of everything what made him the strongest, because at this very moment, he was bare. Uncovered before you, wrapped in an embrace that felt loving, that felt soothing, addicting, but if you only wished to hurt him, you’d—

You moved, shifting your weight a little bit, adjusting the position and the way your hand run down his side made him shiver. A soft sound escaped your throat when you let out a deeper exhale. He felt your fingers squeezing the flesh above his hip and then, you relaxed again.

“Your heart is beating so fast,” you whispered, not bothering to open your eyes, and Satoru held his breath. “Relax…”

And he chuckled. His chest vibrated below your ear and the adorable sound of displeasure you let out made him lose all of the tension. He turned, twisting his body inside your embrace to face you fully and he squeezed you with both of his arms, pulling you close. So impossibly close, and you whimpered, suddenly enclosed in a tight hold of your husband’s limbs. That was it for your sleep.

You could get used to it.

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[zephyrchama]

Tail Bone (Obey Me! brothers and MC)

"My tail bone hurts," you complained. You never expected demons to be well-mannered beings, able to behave themselves in a silent classroom for hours on end. Nor that sitting for so long could be so painful. You let out an exasperated sigh and began to tenderly massage your lower back as soon as the lecture on nocturnal beasts was over.

"Your what?" Leviathan had been booting up a mobile game behind you, eager to claim his daily bonus. While the loading screen played out, he looked up at you in confusion.

Standing to stretch, you nodded towards the hand swirling around your waistband. "Right here, my tail bone. I'm gonna ask Diavolo if he can get softer chairs for the classrooms. You're not in any pain?"

In front of you, Beelzebub nodded. "My stomach hurts. I'm so hungry, I can hardly think straight." He began rooting around in his bag for an emergency candy bar or five.

Mammon interjected from the side, stating "you don't have a tail," with a look of bewilderment. He was staring intensely at your rear and questioning everything he's ever known about you.

"We'd know if you did," Satan added.

"It's not an actual tail. Just... the name of the bone." Your attempt at an explanation wasn't very informative, but you didn't know how else to describe it. Your brain was fried from a long, boring lecture. You were more focused on getting the circulation in your legs working again than on explaning proper human anatomy.

Asmodeus had crept over, clearly noticed by everyone except you, and put his hands over the afflicted area. "Right about here?" he asked, voice coated in faux innocence.

You jumped forward a step in surprise, arching your back away from the sudden touch. Mammon and Leviathan, mobile game now forgotten, pounced on their younger brother. They pulled him away by the shoulders and forced his arms behind his back.

"Ahaha! Did I guess right?"

"That is a serious violation of PDA!" Leviathan half-shouted.

"Yeah, only I'm allowed to touch 'em like that! You all know I'm s'posed to be in charge of the human." Mammon thrust himself in front of Asmodeus, who was busy laughing in Leviathan's face. He opened and closed his hands in a disturbing manner, like a pervert. "Here, let me see this tail for myself."

"I don't think it's an actual tail," Satan surmised at the same time you exclaimed, "I don't have a tail!"

"Settle down," Lucifer cautioned. He approached from the front of the class with an armful of teaching materials, having been the one to lecture everybody all day. In a way, it was his fault you were in pain.

"Would somebody care to explain why you're all being so rowdy?"

"They hurt their new tail," Belphegor tried to explain in a low, drowsy voice. Having been half asleep, he only caught half of the conversation and let his imagination fill in the rest. He tried to lift his head, but the lecture had been too powerful. He rambled, "It's cool. I'm glad you have a tail now," and went right back to snoozing.

Lucifer wasn't entirely convinced of this explanation. He raised an eyebrow at you, and you recapped, "sitting for so long was kind of painful. I hurt my tail bone."

Beelzebub, with a smidge of chocolate on the corner of his face, turned around to ask the question surfacing on everyone's mind. "Do you have wing bones too? Like we do."

Though not in demon form, you could perfectly picture Beelzebub buzzing his wings while he asked. The answer was a simple "no." Followed by a moment of thinking and a hastily added, "I don't think so."

Mammon tisked. "That's unfair, don't ya think? You oughta have wing bones to match us."

Asmodeus "mhmm"-ed in agreement while Lucifer rolled his eyes.

"It's unfair that I don't have wing bones...?" You struggled to follow his logic.

"It's incredibly fair," Leviathan piped up. "Everyone knows tails are better."

"You wanna say that again to my face?" Mammon spat.

"More of you have wings, so it's more balanced to have another tail-user in the house." Satan believed this was a perfectly rational argument despite you not actually having a tail.

"But imagine how cute they'd look with little flapping wings!" Asmodeus cooed, flapping his hands to match.

"A little tail is even cuter! It can be hidden, like an Easter egg," Leviathan asserted.

The classroom became noisy once again with their bickering. Lucifer motioned for you to step aside, and you did your best to duck out from the growing argument with your head kept low. Your legs still felt stiff. Walking around the desk without bumping anything was a newfound challenge.

So Lucifer reached out a gentlemanly hand to guide you. "I need you to come with me to the Student Council Room." Though stated like a command, it sounded more like a request.

"Am I needed for a meeting?" you asked, reluctant to spend more time at school. The big soft couch at home was calling you.

He started ushering you towards the door and checked to ensure his brothers did not follow. "No. I'd like to educate myself on this tail bone you have, and perhaps even take a look at it."