#he is an npc from a video game why does his existence make me cry

[levis-bathtub]

Some weird headcanons and vibe readings and stuff no one asked for

Lucifer:

Can't ride a bike. He says he just doesn't like riding them but he really just never learned

Can't grow a beard. Like at all.

Probably near sighted but chooses not to wear glasses or contacts

Strikes me as the type of person to just. Not go to the doctor? Like ever?

Mammon:

Colorblind

Pissed off a goose once and is now terrified of geese. Understandably.

Probably scared of horses too. They're too big. He doesn't like them.

Fucking sticks gum under the desk

Probably really likes animated movies

Really good at foosball (I think it's called table soccer in other places?)

I wanna see him wear a beanie. I think he'd look cute.

Leviathan:

Can't wink. He just kind of like blinks one eye at a time.

Looks like he can't swim. I know he's a sea monster but he just kind of has that vibe? Like the kid who cries whenever he walks too far into a pool and his feet lift off the bottom. That vibe.

Really likes those girly desserty scented lotions/hand sanitizers but is too embarrassed to ask for some so he'll just stare longingly until someone offers it to him

Satan:

Sneezes. Just. Into the open. Those big giant old man sneezes.

Writes post-it note reminders for himself, but they're super vague so he just has notes with shit like "Ask Beel about *illegible scribble*" and "Buy thing" all over his room

Because of his vague note taking skills he just does the whole "Well if I can't remember it, it must not be important" thing and just... never does anything about it. He can't even remember to take the post-it notes down.

"I don't work here but yeah I'll help you"

Asmodeus:

Collects things. From small things like candles and knickknacks, to whole ass clocks and lamps and shit

Can never figure out how much to tip so he just leaves how ever much he thinks they deserve (which is always way too much but who's complaining?)

"Hey, MC, share a locker with me 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰"

Locker is full of random decor and photos and those little white boards and has literally no room for MC's things

"Wait why are you moving back to your locker 😟"

You know why.

Beelzebub:

Type of guy to just never go to a barber. He cuts his own hair. Sometimes it's ugly but he does the whole "Well I can't see the back of my head so I don't care" thing. You should. It's a disaster.

Sunscreen who?

"Hey, can I borrow a pencil?" *chews the shit out of it*

Also the one guy in class who's pen always explodes. Like??? How does that keep happening? I've never had a pen explode on me before??? How does he do it???

Belphegor:

Unkempt eyebrows

Like. Really unkempt.

Not a headcanon or anything but he'd look super hot in glasses

Just fucking smacks things whenever they're not working as if that's helping at all

Would be really artsy if he wasn't so lazy. Same.

Diavolo:

Excessively polite to NPCs while playing video games

Just apologizing left and right and crying after hurting characters that don't even exist

(I'm projecting can you tell)

Really wants to try dyeing his hair but Barbatos keeps talking him out of it

Let the man experiment, Barbatos

Really good at bar games. Like poker and darts and billiards and stuff

I think he'd look hot with a 5 o'clock shadow but that might just be me

Barbatos:

Does the "I'm invested in this TV show but I refuse to acknowledge it so instead of sitting down I'll just stand next to the couch with my hands behind my back for an upsettingly long period of time" dad thing.

Really into trains

Gives off the vibe that he knows how to grill really well but is actually just kind of average at it.

I feel like he's really into rom-coms, but not the good ones. He just likes laughing at bad movies and thinks they're more entertaining than actually good movies.

I don't know anything about weed but I feel like Barbatos smokes weed. Probably with Solomon. Or maybe because of Solomon. Solomon can be stressful to deal with.

Solomon:

Gives me "Chaotic neutral dad chaperoning an elementary school field trip" vibe.

Probably has a lot of skills that he just... never uses? Like playing the saxophone? Knife throwing? Juggling? He's lived a long life and gets bored easily. He has a lot of time to learn a lot if things.

Just. Likes to set things on fire.

Likes the smell of gasoline.

Simeon:

I don't know if canon Simeon would be into drinking alcohol, but human AU Simeon would be super into fancy wines and champagne and stuff

Probably knows a lot about cheeses too? Both in canon and human AU.

Throws those really relaxing parties. Like Christmas parties, cocktail parties, movie nights.

Just really domestic and wholesome and relaxing to be around.

Really likes owls.

Luke:

Little kid cough

And chugging a bottle of water hella loud

As someone with ADHD, Luke has ADHD. I'm not sorry, I do make the rules.

I feel like he's really into antique stuff? Like old toys and stuffed animals and posters. Stuff that's cute and childish but with a hint of retro aesthetic.

Also into flowers. Like arranging bouquets and wreaths, flower language, stuff like that. He just likes pretty things, ok?

[hope-grace-serenity]

The Missing Women of Far Cry-PART TWO

Previously, I wrote a post that was intended to talk a bit about Selena and Lana, and the  history of the Faith position as a whole. Because the notes that discuss these women (“Grieving Note,” “Dirty Crumpled Letter,” A Confession”) tend to be overlooked, the purpose of this new post is to analyze the content of the notes and develop a greater understanding of the experiences and perspectives of the Faiths, as well as how they are viewed and treated. This is just my personal analysis, and of course you are more than welcome to disagree with any ideas expressed here. Unlike my previous post, this one will not bring in real-world connections, but will instead stick firmly within the context of what is presented in FC5. That being said, I’m going to keep the same TW’s as last time in the tags, because I realize that this topic overall can be really uncomfortable to think about. If anyone is particularly sensitive to discussing the Seeds brothers’ involvement in the disappearances (particularly Joseph, since he’s the one mentioned in all the notes), I recommend skipping this post.  

So with that out of the way, let’s look at what these notes reveal to us...

First, the notes show us how these different women were hooked into becoming Faith and giving up their identities in the first place: by being convinced by Joseph that each one of them is special, despite him actually viewing them as interchangeable. This is told to us by Faith in-game during her first cutscene when she talks about how special the Father made her feel, but we also see the same story play out in the previous Faiths. The writer of the “Grieving Note” says Joseph told Lana she was special, and the author of “A Confession” expresses that all she wanted was to be special, and she finally got a chance to feel that way with Joseph. The writer of the “Dirty Crumpled Letter” brings attention to how despite what Joseph says, he *doesn’t* actually view Selena (or any of these women) as special, saying that there is a pattern of him “using up and throwing away” women. 

Although they are told that they are unique, their individuality is significantly downplayed, which no doubt psychologically plays a role in the ease in which these women are disposed of  and replaced. We see this in the callous way Joseph treats Lana’s body after her death, tossing it in to “disintegrate into the boiling muck” with the corpses of the mindless angels, despite her literally giving up her identity in order to become a part of the “family.” Also, the simple fact that he can “swap them out like they don’t have a brain of their own” (according to the writer of the “Dirty Crumpled Letter”) is quite telling of how he views them. He’s interested in how they fit this need for what a “Faith” should be, but not necessarily who they are as actual human beings. This focus on the idealized image of “Faith” is also something that’s corroborated in-game where his whole eulogy for Faith focuses on how devoted she was to him and how he changed her from being “lost and broken” to being ”angelic” and “perfect”--two words that suggest inhumanity and an unattainable ideal. This acts as a stark contrast to the more personal, humanized stories of John and Jacob.  To bridge off that idea, the level of disinterest in the actual person behind the name shows that the Seeds do not view or treat the Faiths like sisters or daughters or any kind of actual family member, despite the title. John disappoints Joseph in-game, but John does not have to worry about mysteriously vanishing and having a random guy show up the next day who Joseph calls “Brother John.” Faith does not have the same luxury.

These notes also give us more insight into how Eden’s Gate operated before the arrest. The fact that there was a specific spot set aside to “disintegrate” bodies--plus the fate of the Faiths as a whole--shows us that violence was most definitely happening before the reaping began, even if it was something that was happening behind the scenes. This should be apparent based on other things we see within the game (the cause of the arrest warrant, the video of Joseph removing the man’s eyes, the fact that the Cook was allowed to be a cult member in the first place, existence of angels and judges, etc.), but I know there are a couple NPCs that make it seem like Eden’s Gate were just kooky, peaceful neighbors before the arrest. While that might have been the image they presented to the public, it’s clear that the reality is that there was a dark undercurrent even before the reaping--Eden’s Gate was just able to hide it well.  

These notes also bring up some interesting questions regarding the attitudes of the Faiths. Finding the identity of the author of “A Confession” was something I was really curious about, since that could either provide us with a new dimension for Rachel, or give us valuable insight into the characterization of one of the previous Faiths, allowing one to have her own words and story expressed instead of just being relegated to the role of a “victim.” Based on the limited information presented in-game, I believe that the most likely writer of “A Confession” is Selena. The “Dirty Crumpled Letter,” where the writer tells Selena  about the history of the Faith position, could easily have been what triggers her doubts, especially since that letter indicates that Selena is very new to the role and hasn’t fully “lost herself” to the Faith position yet. The fact that the letter is “crumpled” implies that Selena was either upset or angry when reading it, which further connects to the idea that she’s experiencing emotional strife which may trigger her doubts. In the “Dirty Crumpled Letter,” the writer says, “God knows who you are, and so do you,” suggesting that Selena is religious. In “A Confession,” the writer is clearly religious as well, as the note is written out to God. 

The author of “A Confession” expresses genuine fear of Joseph due to having personal doubts about the project when she says, “What do I do? I know you will forgive me, dear Lord. I don’t know if Joseph will.” This is also supported by Faith’s eulogy, in which he mentions the previous Faiths weren’t as devoted as she was. This implies to me that the reason at least some of the Faiths may have been killed was because they weren’t faithful enough to him and/or the Project. The fear expressed by the writer of “A Confession,” as well as how the individual women acting in the Faith role are viewed as disposable and replaceable in general, personally makes me fully believe Faith in-game when she expresses fear of Joseph and says she was threatened in the past.  Given how her predecessors were treated, why wouldn’t she have some level of fear? 

Still, the role itself is obviously very important to Joseph, hence why he keeps filling the slot with different women. So, why is that? What’s he hoping to achieve? Why is it so important that there’s a Faith? This paragraph is going to veer a bit into speculative territory (and like I mentioned earlier, this is all just my opinion), but I think the answer for that ties into the previous few points: he’s looking for someone who embodies the concept of faith. And as for why that's so important to him, all we need to do is think about his conversation with us in Jacob’s region. Joseph had a really shitty and painful life, but there was one bright spot after he and his brothers were split up: his wife and daughter. As far as we’re aware, the mysterious Mrs. Seed was the first female presence in his life to genuinely love and care for him. What personal characteristic does he keep emphasizing about his wife? Her faith. When he experienced personal doubts, her faith was there to ground him. She provided him with a feminine, stable, unconditional devotion that he never experienced before, one I feel he tries to replicate in creating these Faiths, and this becomes their main source of value to him. She provides that accepting essence to both him and the Project as a whole. This is why he constantly emphasizes the importance of Faith, both the concept and the person. And yes, this is an incredibly unhealthy viewpoint to have. 

I spent a lot of time talking about Joseph because he’s the one mentioned in these notes, but there are some implications here for John and Jacob as well.Given their personal connection to Joseph and high rank in the group, they are most certainly aware of what’s going on, which makes them complicit to some degree  in what is happening to the Faiths. If they have any personal qualms, we don’t know about it. While there is NPC dialogue that indicates Jacob is upset when John dies, and that Faith is upset when John dies, we have no indication that either of the brothers is personally upset about Faith. One of the NPCs says, “Jacob would happily sacrifice everyone and everything in Hope County to feed Joseph's Collapse. He doesn't care about Faith.” The only time John mentions her is when he says he treats his followers better than she treats her angels. While I wish there was someone that Faith could genuinely have a close, honest friendship with, that unfortunately does not seem to be the case here.

And...I think that’s it! Wow, that was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Faith’s perspective is so interesting and unique, and really fascinating to analyze. I realize this post doesn’t exactly paint the Seeds or Eden’s Gate in the most flattering light, but it’s fully possible to love all these characters while acknowledging the bad things they did. Believe it or not, Joseph’s my second or third favorite character, lol. 

[seulgiology]

it’s just a gameㅣlee donghyuck

pairings: best friend!haechan x best friend!reader

words: 1.6k

genre: very lowkey fluffy shit, basically low quality crack, just best friends being best friends

warnings: cursing, slight mention of sexual content, mentions of sex toys (nothing crazy ;), mentions of fighting

a/n: ALL CREDITS TO THE GIF GOES TO THEM!! yer yerrrr, it’s admin 1 back with haechan crack cause i need this in my life. ummmmm nothing much more to say here lol. irene fluff coming up next from me! so look forward to that ;)

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

--

“Do you want to fucking die or something?”

“Yeah… But only ‘cause you’re here.”

“That’s your response? Weak.”

You and Haechan happen to be playing a survival game together in his and Johnny’s shared dorm room. Call of Duty? Overwatch? Destiny? To be honest, you really never knew, nor paid attention. You just knew he really, really loved playing these games. So why not try and take a dive into your best friend’s favorite alternate reality. However, you knew long before playing with him that he was kind of an aggressive player.

You sat on his bed with your laptop open while he sat in his gamer chair that he liked to call “Mark”(I like to believe I can always stay atop of my enemies. Mark just, unfortunately, has to be my greatest). 

“Why do you always choose the games you know I obviously suck at? And why does this one have...” You squint at one of the NPCs on your bright screen, “Nazis??? Hyuck, what the fuck do you have me playing.” 

Haechan quickly spins around in his chair just to look at you up and down in disgust before saying, “I don’t like Nazis either Y/N, but like, maybe you should look back at your screen before, I don’t know, one of them kill you. And for your information, the game is called Battlefield V.” He replies in that sarcastic way that he’s known for.

“Says the one who just died. Try again next time sunny.” You just saw his character die on his screen in his session of telling you off. His doe eyes go wide in disbelief and you can’t wipe the victorious smirk off your face as he curses and weeps at the loss of his life. “I can’t believe you just let that happen Y/N. What kind of best friend are you?” The theatrics come on as he pretends to wipe under his eyes and sniffle. If you didn’t know his antics by now you’d have gone over and seriously ask him if he was ok. 

But he’s Haechan. 

Lee Donghyuck. 

God of Entertainment. jungwoo is shaking

You scoff and reach over to the top of his bed, take one of the helpless pillows, and chuck it at his head for his extraness. You couldn’t help but laugh out loud lol at the surprising high-pitched yelp that came from him at your attack. He held the pillow in his lap and silently nodded to himself while closing his eyes, and the exasperated sigh that left his lips had you stifling your giggles. “I didn’t think it’d come to this, but you leave me no choice,” He looked at you with fiend sadness before getting up and taking slow, creepy steps towards you. 

Before he could speed up his steps, you tried to get up from his bed and make it towards the door, yet you failed miserably. “You think you can get away from me this easily Y/N? You’re literally as fast as the slowest turtle.” He said as he was gripping the back of your his t-shirt

"What- all turtles are slow, what are you even trying to say?" You said as you struggled against his strength. He pondered over what you said for a moment, and that moment was all you needed to rush out the room, shouts of triumph coming straight from your heart.

You run through the dorm jumping and stretching through odd places, Haechan hot on your heels. You're surprised you even made it this far without him catching you. "Don't think you're winning Y/N. I'm just having post-video game tiredness," he huffs out, obviously out of breath. You shoot a look back at him and knew you couldn't continue like this forever. 

You needed protection.

You ran into the nearest room, not caring who or what was in there. Turning the knob, you almost slam into, Taeil who turned out to be opening the door at the same time as you.  “Y/N? Hey-” He said a little listlessly while rubbing his eyes. You didn’t reply back and instead squeezed past him and hid behind his back, and used the oldest member as a shield. 

“Wow, you really must think I’m a fool to think that hiding behind the shortest person alive would protect you from my punishment.” He subtly and immediately apologized to his hyung for the insult, but continued on. Taeil gave a nod of acknowledgment but did a double-take for a moment. 

“Wait- ‘punishment’? What type of kinky shit are ya’ll doing? I didn’t know Y/N was giving you the strap,” You snap your head and look at him in horror, as Haechan damn near throws up in his mouth at the words spoken from the ambivert member.

“I support!” You hear a voice from deeper within the small room. (”Nobody asked Yuta!” Haechan exasperatedly shouted.)

“So this is how you guys think of me- a bottom.” Haechan excaims in disbelief. “But did they lie?” You think to yourself

You creep a bit further back into the room, hoping neither Taeil or Haechan have noticed, as they’ve started their own sibling-like argument with each other. You were successful taking small steps back, even hiding under the desk installed in the room. “Wait, where’s Y/N? It’s oddly quiet.” You can see him cock his hip to the side and pretend to think, you silently rolling your eyes at his statement. 

Your eyes snap to Yuta’s, trying to telepathically tell him to keep his mouth shut about your obvious hiding position. 

Yet, he had other plans for you. 

“They’re over there, under the desk, sitting on Taeil’s Switch.” He whisper-yells to Haechan and points to your location.

“Taeyong’s not in here though...?” i said what i said The oldest mutters off to himself.

You’re heart pounds in wait and you mentally face palm. Footsteps speedily walk over to you, and you didn’t get the chance to scramble back when he gripped your ankles and softly tugged you out. A pout took over your face as you looked up at your best friend from the ground, him standing tall and triumphant above you. 

“I hope you know we can fight.” You say as you continue to lay there, fierce as ever. An anxious look took over Taeil’s face as his eyes darted back and forth between you and Haechan. This wouldn’t be the first time you guy’s playfully fought each other. The whole 127 dorm knew how aggressive your mouth could be. He smirked down at you, getting ready to prepare a jab at you before Taeil began speaking.

“Hey- lets just all play a friendly game? Yeah?”

“I’ve been playing games since I’ve been here, just let me beat this gu-”

“I have Animal Crossing: New Horizons.”

“Say no more.”

You forget all about Haechan and run to his room and take out your Nintendo Switch with your game card already inside. You make it back in time to hear the current conversation. “Why are you guys stealing Y/N from me, I was just about to set up Just Dance 2020.” Haechan says while sitting behind a willing Yuta that lets him style with his current silver hair.

“I have a feeling you’re upset that you still have a 3DS instead of a Switch.” You say as you plop down next to Taeil who already had his game loaded. “Actually, I don’t need to hold a mini Taeyong in my hand when my 3DS is all I need,” He scoffs at you and folds his arms under him childishly. 

“Hyuck, it sounds like you’re talking about your favorite dildo.” You say to him, enjoying the snort that Yuta lets out. “Whatever, I just don’t know how you guys enjoy shaking trees and talking to animals with names like ‘Kid Cat.’ But go crazy.” He begins to stand up to leave, but he dramatically looked back at you absorbed in your game, conversing with his members. He let out a loud sigh, trying- and successfully- getting your attention.

You sigh out in defeat when you look at his pleading eyes that beg for you to hang out with him instead. You say your goodbyes to the other members who seem to understand how clingy your best friend can be.

“If we’re playing Just Dance, you have to let me win; and I won’t except no for an answer.” You say as you walk, a grin spread across your cheeks when he softly laughed at your statement. You both reach the living room and he gets straight into turning on the T.V. and turning the HDMI to the Play Station 4 the guys had set up already.

“Which song?” He asks as he scrolls through the song choices. “KILL THIS LOVE!” You’re bouncing on your feet at the thought of dancing to your favorite song. He presses play, but not before you catch the devious smirk on his face.

“What’d you do?” You both are standing next to each other, and he doesn’t say anything as you look to the screen, where your worst nightmare is staring back at you.

Sweat mode.

“You can’t do that! That’s cheating! I said let me win, but don’t let me die in the process.” You can feel yourself sweating already.  “Oh but it’s just a game, you’ll be fine hon. I am letting you win right?” His body is rushing with oncoming adrenaline from your whining, knowing that he’s won your competition.

You almost cry when the instrumental intro in the popular BLACKPINK begin. You put your all into the performance and Haechan barely moves his hands.

And there’s still a shit more songs after this.

[regrettablemeasure]

Cyberpunk 2077 non-spoiler review

Anyways here’s my writeup about my least favorite parts of 2077 for people who are interested in seeing if it’s for them. Both going to talk about content as well as gameplay. This is for PC version, too, because I know last gen consoles are suffering terribly rn and I wouldn’t recommend the game if you’re not going to be playing on PC. At least not until it’s on sale or the issues have been resolved. It really, really shouldn’t have been released on last gen consoles at all in my opinion - or at least should’ve been released on consoles LATER.

If you like Saints Row, GTA, Mass Effect, Shadowrun, or the Cyberpunk genre in general - I definitely think this is something you might want to take a peek at! I wasn’t anticipating the game until about a month or two before release - so maybe that’s why I’m having a blast - but It’s one of my favorite stories from the past decade as far as sci-fi goes. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and It’s really impressed me. I can’t even go into detail about all the things I LOVE because I really want folks to experience it themselves. Just know there’s a very intricately detailed world, all the characters are memorable and insanely well realized and complex, and the story is great fun. Also made me cry like 5 times. It’s become one of my FAVORITE games very quickly.

I’d also recommend Neon Arcade if you want someone who’s been covering the game for quite a while, including the technical and game industry aspect. He does well to go into some detail and even though he’s a fan, I’ve found him to be largely unbiased. I’m not going to go into industry politics here because I feel that’s up for everyone to decide on their own terms.

No spoilers, things to keep in mind, content warnings, etc. below!

CONTENT WARNINGS and issues with plot/story

this setting is dark. very dark. if you struggle stomaching things like dystopian landscapes, body horror, physical, mental and sexual abuse, corporate and gang violence, abuse of children, harsh language, and concepts that mess with the perception of reality - this game might not be for you. It’s a very mature setting, and I don’t mean that in the Adult Swim kind of way. I mean it in the ‘oh shit, it went there’ way. In my opinion I haven’t run across anything in it that was handled distastefully when it dipped into the depressing, but dark and gritty isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and I wanted to give a disclaimer.

The game’s universe in advertising and working for the lower class also exploits sex/sex work quite a bit. This is part of the lore itself because in this universe everyone’s become desensitized to sex and violence to the point that marketing embraces it and makes it ridiculous. I feel it’s very obvious that it doesn’t condone this message and is instead a commentary on consumerism - but people still might be uncomfortable seeing a lot of suggestive stuff all over the place regardless. 

Women in game are naked more often than men - even though there is nudity for both. This is likely a mix of appealing to the Gamer Boy demographic (even though the story does NOT actually), or the fact that media is way more cool with seeing naked women than seeing full frontal nudity on men. They probably had to tone some of it down to avoid going above an M rating. 

The story is amazing, but sometimes it dumps a lot onto you at once. It’s one of those sci-fi stories that you have to really be following the names, faces, and concepts continually to get it all down. There’s a lot of betrayal, background players, etc. I think by the mid-way point I’d mostly had it, but It’s pretty dense. However it’s still amazing. You might just need two playthroughs before every tiny detail clicks - because there’s a LOT of details. 

Honestly I think it would help to read up on the lore first so you’re not going ‘what’ constantly. But people have seemed to manage fine without that also! Neon Arcade has a really nice series of videos (like 2 or 3) that get you up to speed with the universe. It also helps you decide if the tone is right for you. 

I think the main story should’ve been longer, also. I don’t mind a 20 hr story, especially in a massive RPG, but It feels like they really struggled to cram as much into that time frame as possible. It skirts the edge of being nice and concise, snappy, and tight - and needing just a few more moments to take a breath and wait a second. This is helped if you do a lot of side quests.

The straight male romance option, River, is INCREDIBLY well written but he doesn’t tie into the main plot in any way whatsoever. It’s very strange and feels like they either ran out of time with him, or slapped together a romance with him at the last second. All the other romances at least know what’s going on with V’s story - meanwhile River has no idea, and you can never tell him. He’s an amazing guy though and I highly recommend his questline. He appears in ACT 2.

In general I’d say not to bother with the romances. There are only 4 total, and while the romancible characters on their own are really well written, the romances themselves are just kinda meh. One romance you don’t even meet until act 3. I don’t think they should’ve been included in the game at all, because they definitely don’t feel as fleshed out as everything else. 

CDPR also sometimes forget that women players or gay men exist. Panam and Judy have a lot more content than River and Kerry for example. I don’t think this is intentional, they just have a large fanbase of dudebros. It only shows in the romance content and the nudity thing though.

Johnny, Takemura, and Claire should’ve been romances and I will fight to the death on that. 

There are gay and trans characters in the game and their stories don’t revolve around their sexualities. It’s very Fallout: New Vegas in it’s approach to characters: IE. you’re going to love them. All of them. 

V’s gender isn’t locked to their body type or their genitals- but to to their voice. I don’t think it’s the best solution they could’ve used but given how the game is heavily voice acted I assume that was what they had to work with. 

Some of the romances are locked to both cis voices AND body types (not genitals if I recall but body shapes). That’s disappointing but I assume it was because of scripted scene issues and/or ignorance on the dev’s part considering the LGBT NPCS are so AMAZINGLY done. There’s no homophobic or transphobic language in the game - though there are gendered curse words and insults if that bothers you. 

Some characters MAY suffer from ‘bilingual people don’t talk like that’ syndrome. But it can be hard to say for sure given that translators exist in this universe and the way they operate aren’t fully described. It’s only momentarily distracting, not enough to take away from how charming the NPCs are.

The endings are really good don’t get me wrong but I want fix it fic :(. All of the endings out of like 6 (?) in the game are bittersweet. 

Both gender V’s are very good but female V’s voice acting is out of this world. If you don’t know what voice to go with/are neutral I’d highly recommend female V. Male V is charming and good but he feels much more monotone compared to female V. 

V has their own personality. To some this won’t be a detractor - but a lot of people thought they’d be making absolutely everything from the ground up. V is more of a commander shepard or geralt than a skyrim or d&d pc, if that makes sense. You can customize and influence them to a HUGE degree, some aspects of V will always be the same.

Streetkid is the most boring background - at least for it’s introduction/prologue.

GAMEPLAY/TECHNICAL

If you can run your game on ultra, don’t. It actually looks best with a mix of high and medium settings. Unless you have a beast that has ray-tracing - then by all means use ray tracing and see how absolutely insanely good it looks.

There are color blind modes for the UI, but not for some of the AI/Netrunning segments in cutscenes. Idk how much this will effect folks with colorblindness but those segments are thankfully short. 

There was an issue with braindances being an epilepsy trigger because for some reason they decided to mirror the flashing pattern after real epilepsy tests - probably because it ‘looks cool’. I don’t have epilepsy but it even hurt my eyes and gave me a headache. Massive oversight and really goddamn weird. Thankfully this was fixed.

There is no driving AI. Like at all. If you leave your car in the street the traffic is just going to pile up behind it. It’s one of the very few immersion breaking things I’ve encountered.

Sometimes when an NPC is driving with you in the car, they’ll drive on the curb and/or run into people. It’s kind of funny but can occasionally result in something weird. Feels very GTA  - but nothing excruciating. 

The camera angle feels a little too low in first person mode when driving on cars. You get used to it though. 

The police in this game feel slapped on and I hope they improve it. Right now if you commit a crime, you can never tell what will actually trigger it. And if you just run away a few blocks the police forget about it. 

Bikes are just way more fun to ride than the cars are. 

You CANNOT respec your character after you make them. Ever. it sucks. Go in with an idea ahead of time what you wanna do - it’s better than being a jack of all trades.

as of now you also CANNOT change their appearance after you exit the character creator. This, also, sucks. Make sure you REALLY like your V or you’re gonna be replaying the openings over and over like I did. 

Photomode on PC is the N key. Had to look it up. The mode itself is great though

Shooting and Mele fighting feel pretty standard. I don’t have a lot of shooter experience besides Bethesda games so anything feels better than that to me. So far I’ve enjoyed stealth and mele the best, but that’s just my own taste! The combat and driving aren’t groundbreaking by any means, but they’re still very fun. I look forward to running at people with swords or mantis blades, and zipping around the city on a motorcycle to see the sights. The story, lore, and interesting quests and characters are the real draw here.

I haven’t encountered any game breaking bugs in 80-ish hours of play time. One or two T-poses, a few overlays not loading or floating objects - but nothing terrible. Again, my experience is with Bethesda games. This is all usually fixed by either opening your inventory and closing it again, or exiting out and reloading your save. 

The C button is mapped for crouching AND skipping dialogue by default. That’s terrible. Change it in the settings to be HOLDING C skips dialogue and you’ll be gucci.

There’s apparently a crafting system. I have never been inclined to touch it. But I also play on easy like a pleb so IDK how it all scales otherwise.

The mirror reflections can be a little bit weird, at least on my end. They always end up a teeny bit grainy despite my computer being able to run everything on Ultra Max. You can still get good screens out of it though!

So many people text me to sell me cars and I want them to stop. Please. also the texting menu is abysmal. The rest is ok tho

It’s pretty clear when you’re going to go into a ‘cutscene’. all cutscenes are rendered in-engine BUT you often will be talking to other characters at a specific angle or setting. The game locks you into this usually by having you sit down. It works for me - after all we do a lot of sitting- but it IS very obvious that it’s a way for the game to get you in the frame it wants to display.

That’s all I can think of rn! If you’re interested but wanted to get a slightly better idea of whats going on, I hope this helps. I’m really enjoying it and despite my issues it’s exceeding my expectations. I’m going to be thinking about and replaying this game for quite a while. 

[simkjrs]

gamer au asks

Anonymous said: the first time godgame izuku manifests his quirk scotchtapeofficial@tumblr /post/163140897577/

im laughing this is such a traumatizing way for izuku to discover his quirk oh my god 

Anonymous said: Very important question: Does Gamer Izuku go/ne to the sunchip's place (from carboys)

i havent finished car boys but the answer is probably yes

Anonymous said: if izuku can mod maybe one day can he figure out how to make it that everyone figures out that something isnt his quirk and that the reality is a simulation or are they all parts of the simulation too

this is actually in my chat log... izuku makes a mod so that everyone has awareness of continuity (or lack of) so when izuku mods the world everyone sees the changes and knows they’re not normal. and panic 

Anonymous said: what if monoma copied the gamer quirk? or some villain had a switch-bodies quirk and used it on izuku and another character?? would they just go on without noticing anything unusual or not??

monoma is overwhelmed by the gamer quirk so by the time the five minutes are up he hasn’t made any headway in actually understanding it, unfortunately. it gains izuku’s interest though because maybe it’s possible... that monoma has the potential to become a real person in this simulation, too... 

i’m not sure about the switching bodies quirk. if this person switches bodies, theoretically that means, since they have izuku’s brain and body, that they would be able to use izuku’s quirk.  but if they have izuku’s brain and body, and not their own, would they even be able to switch back? 

i feel we should retroactively question whether or not this whole ‘gamer au’ quirk is even a quirk, and not just some inexplicable, strange phenomenon that only izuku is privy to 

@valerii376 said: Izuku adding Tsuyu as an admin and her losing her cool

good ask 

“i’m sorry,” izuku says to a panicking tsuyu, “i just couldn’t stand being the only real person in the world anymore. i hope you don’t mind” 

@viperofsand said: A funny thing about the gamer au is people being like 'oh how did you become this nihilist in this age of hereos' and Izuku being like '...i already said that reality is a lie you ain't listening'

“even the heroes are just an artificial construct. their actions, their speeches, their paradigms... it’s just a program. a code. it doesn’t mean anything at all.” 

Anonymous said: Then he's like, 'well that wasn't bad but how about something else?' and the best thing in the world in our lifetime are giant fluff pups. So izuku wins at life at that point. but no, why stop there. She's already three stories high, so clearly she needs education. So he edits the dear oversi-PERFECTLY sized dog to attend his school. And due to her wonderful size she clips through the ceiling. Either no one notices or cares but thats beyond Izuku 2/

So, Izuku realizing that he only chipped the iceberg of unreality. He can get lightsabers if he wanted to. Delve through all of fiction, put it in life and no one will be the wiser. Cause chaos and it's everyday life. Life doesn't have a hard concrete surface it used to. when he 'mods' life into having a terrible texture. He sees the blob humans and thinks 'ha ha wow this is bad'. In which he, accidentally, pushes himself further away from reality and, even more accidentally, from people. 3/

While accepting his new unreality, barreling into a world in which he can create and change at will. People are npcs. Izuku is the player. The world is a rpg. Eventually Izuku is so far out of touch with reality, he becomes borderline nihilistic and "Oh dear god these are living humans what am I doing" 4/4

5+ I have no idea how I did all of that or what I was doing. But theres my take of what might happen (very roughly and loosely) in the gamer izuku au. I hope you enjoyed it (or not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). This is just something silly (is spiraling down into nihilism silly). This mega might also come out as needlessly edgy. BUT A BIG POINT you've been lowkey giving me a will to write. Don't to bother you!

your first ask got eaten by tumblr so i’m just going to guess that it was about the dog and izuku figuring out that he can change her size 

this series of asks actually follows the vague direction of where i want to go with the gamer au, congratulations :p i’m glad you were inspired to write! 

Anonymous said: haha would anyone even know about Izuku's quirk?

probably not... there’s nothing he can do to prove that it exists outside of his perception. at least until he finds the console and figures out all the console commands. then he can delete buildings at will but at that point he’s already registered as quirkless and this is too difficult to explain anyways so he just, doesn’t tell anyone 

Anonymous said: WAIT WHAT HAPPENS IF GAMER IZUKU MESSES UP AND DIVIDES BY ZERO?

ERROR

Anonymous said: So like if gamer izuku were to like accidentally die, (a building falls on him or something) would he have a respawn point? Or would he just go back to where he last saved during the day?

i think he’d go to his last save 

Anonymous said: if we’re going with godgame izuku realizing the world is a simulation, maybe he eventually tries to break the world by modding it ala ‘final pam’ style: turning people into helicopters. setting mineta’s size to scale .0001 and losing him.

yes. 

@angryqueermermaid said: GOAT SIMULATOR

im laughing??? YEAH. GAMER AU IS JUST ONE BIG GOAT SIMULATOR EXCEPT FOR THE WHOLE WORLD.

Anonymous said: I'm crying thinking about all of the fucking glitches I've seen and the shit I've seen done in gta specifically - like there's a video where mc just. becomes a fucking blue whale. through modding.

the potential of this au is limitless 

Anonymous said: Gamer AUs have become my recent obsession as of late, and can I just say that this is, like, one of the greatest gamer AU ideas ever.

thank you! 

Anonymous said: godgame izuku making mineta so small he's practically non-existent and then someone steps on him. mineta is dead.

glad we’re all in agreement about mineta!

Anonynous said: can Izuku just. hack through the layers of reality and make himself a millionare. take away humanitys use of quirks. save, punch bakugou, then reload the save? GIVE KIRISHIMA ALL THE HUGS OH GOD IM DYING. change the code of the universe so that there is no more corrupt people and the Socio Economic system is All Fine and everyone is Happy. glitch out and nap for ten years. please expand simk you already have my soul what more can I give you

izuku CAN set his money to $999,999,999,999,999 but if he spends too much of it he WILL devalue the currency. he could probably disable people’s quirks from the console, but hasn’t figured out how to do it as an “area effect” thing yet so if he wanted to get rid of all quirks he’d have to manually do it one by one. he cannot change the universe’s code to fix everything, thus contributing more to his belief that the world is meaningless, as are his abilities to affect it. 

Anonymous said: That. Was a very good AU. I approve, and it made me burst out laughing. Can Izuku pull up a mainscreen thing or just pause time if he wants too? Just... pause the game that is real life and hop over to another layer of reality? Does he ever see a loading screen when going into a new area? Have a map he can access at any time? ANYWAY I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL MIND AND THE WAY IT WORKS AND THAT ALL OF YOUR AU'S ARE GREAT AND SO IS THE GAMER ONE PLEASE GIVE US MORE INFO THANKS

he can pull up a mainscreen but when he exits he’s in the same place as before. a loading screen when he goes to a new area... is probably something that happens. eventually he gets a map and a quick travel function. he doesn’t know exactly how it works but he’s not complaining 

anything is possible 

[breakingarrows]

Far Cry 5 Review

[This was originally published on VerticalSliceMedia.com in 2018 and is republished from the latest draft I have]

Far Cry 5 Review

 I do not like Far Cry 5. My issues with the game are many, and partly already chronicled in my writing about the games endings. My frustrations extend across all aspects from the way you play the game (mindlessly) to the way it presents its fictional cult (vapidly) to the way the game makes the player’s presence known in the world (it doesn't). There is nothing redeeming to be found within the 25 hours I spent in Hope County. The small victories within one-off side quests can’t redeem a game that refuses to engage with anything meaningful or even succeed in hiding its rote systems that have been played out for two games now.

 Gameplay Loop          

             One of the main responses to complaints about the narrative of Far Cry 5 has been to cry, as the Bad End Podcast put it, “the gameplay!” However, even in this regard Far Cry 5 fails.

           Each Far Cry game has been about repeating the same series of tasks over an elongated period of time with a drip feed of storylines along the way. Complete main missions and occasionally a named character will appear to spout off some pseudo-intellectual dialogue. Complete side missions and you’ll interact with the zany characters that are meant to entertain you with their characteristics that sure are “out there” amiright? Except that in Far Cry 5 the people you meet and talk at you don’t have interesting things to say. Some even have a pre-filled system for delivering quest locations on your map.

Go up to an NPC with an icon above their head and they will recant you an “A, B, C.” Statement. It usually goes like this, “A was doing this, then B happened. You should check out C.” Sometimes with a few additional flourishes but the basic information stays the same. Clear this outpost, find this prepper stash, rescue these hostages, destroy this building. The delivery system has been tweaked but what you are being tasked with remains the same. All of it is repeated again and again across each of the three areas and with little to distinguish one from the other. Clear an outpost in John’s region or Jacob’s or Faith’s, and the execution, location, and following result are the same. Most all major games are a cycle of gameplay repeated over a period of time, but most have the decency to hide that cycle with variety; Far Cry 5 does not.

           Nearly every missions requires you to kill, whether it be cultist or animal, and to travel to a location to do so. Follow the highlighted icon on your display, kill everyone, maybe hold square over a specific item, and mission accomplished. Very little is memorable throughout the game. An early mission in Fall’s End has some entertaining dialogue around the Testy Festy, a gathering of locals to enjoy cooked bulls’ balls. The mission requires you to kill a bull mid-intercourse and freeing the cows beforehand induces a sexy music track to begin playing. This, and Hurk Jr’s comments about making his daddy and mommy compete for his love were the only times I enjoyed my time with Far Cry 5.

 Window Dressing

             Other characters attempt to be a source of humor. There is an alien conspiracy theorist who gets teleported and leaves behind a gun that can vaporize enemies at close range. A government agent comes in discussing high-level security threats and has the defining trait of saying “pardon my french” whenever he uses a word vaguely obscene such as poop. Aaron, aka Tweak, has daddy issues and hates two pigs for some reason, sending you to whack them to death with a baseball bat. A scientist fails to warn you that the serum to attract Angels actually will attract skunks and a mob of black and white mammals ensues. There are more, but none that leave anything memorable for you to keep, and all have one or two missions before they disappear forever. Had I spent more time with these characters, especially the ones who die and the game expects you to care about, I may have developed an actual bond. Far Cry 5 is obsessed with making sure you’re never bored or in one spot for too long, something Heather Alexandria pointed out, which is probably why you never spend meaningful time with anyone.

           Playing into this, the radio stations are a source of worldbuilding details that become literally drowned out by the world around it. The radio is only accessible when inside a vehicle, and even then the volume is pretty low, guaranteeing it won’t be heard very well when driving. Even staying in an unmoving vehicle won’t guarantee you the ability to listen in on the religious radio station, or news reports that evaded me my entire playthrough.

           And ultimately I don’t think the game is very interested in engaging with substance. There isn’t anything here for the player to find, so they hid what they could lest the player become curious. It’s something that Astrid wrote about, with the title “Far Cry 5 Offers Nothing to Believe In.” as well as Errant Signal in his video analysis of the game.

           Throughout the game you will be kidnapped so that the game may force some time with the antagonist of whatever region you were liberating at the time. These kidnappings occur very frequently and in exceedingly ludicrous ways. Twice I was in a wingsuit flying through the air only to have the screen fade to black and a loading screen greet me. Loading is long and frequent, breaking up the pacing of cutscenes significantly. The controller vibrates to notify you when it's nearly finished loading, as if the game anticipated the player to grow bored during the length of these loads.

           Mindless waypoint complaints can be soothed by playing with the UI options, which allow you to turn on or off every detail that appears onscreen by default. I did notice that even with it all off, the sound effect for binoculars tagging enemies will still trigger, as if the developers threw this option in without considering the other systems it interacts with. However it doesn’t keep the default experience from being so brain dead. Even the simplest of people can follow the yellow marker point to point for the entire game and make it through without ever having to think beyond, “Go here. Kill that.” It’s completely mindless and offers no challenge.

 Narrative Dissonance

             Early on, Joseph Seed will tell the player that “not every problem can be solved with a bullet.” You then proceed through the entire game killing everyone with bullets, sometimes with bow and arrows, your bare hands, or animal companions. That phrase is repeated later on, as if the game looks down on the player’s actions, despite them being the only option available to interact with the world. Instead you are given a weapon of death, pointed in their direction, and told kill. Over and over and over until it becomes almost reflexive which could have been used to make a comment on that impulsive violence except Far Cry 5 doesn’t.

           A narrative conceit created for gameplay is the drug Bliss, which is used to justify the existence of brain dead enemies for the player to mow down. The Bliss is positioned as something you can’t escape. This is evidenced by the treatment of Angels, those who have been overtaken by the Bliss, as well as the very telegraphed betrayal by the rescued ally named Marshal. Taken from your group at the beginning of the game, Marshal is taken by antagonist Faith and rescued midway through redeeming her area. He is taken back to the headquarters of the resistance in that region, a prison, and proceeds to shoot an ally NPC, open up the prison to invasion, and commits suicide. All of this is blamed on Faith’s ability to control through the Bliss, except that both you and the sheriff were exposed to the drug without the same after-effects. Angels are assigned for death, despite their status as unwilling subjects of the cult, and the drug’s influence is called irreversible, despite characters surviving multiple exposures. As Holly Green writes, this usage of drugs in games “[is] not just inaccurate, it’s lazy.”

 Graphics

             Common praise is thrown at the graphics, and the developers’ ability to render a realistic Montana landscape. And yes, Far Cry 5 looks pretty, but every AAA game looks great and their status is fleeting until the next big game releases. This is why Journey remains beautiful whereas Uncharted 3 begins to show its age when compared to the latest iterations in that genre. The ability for developers to render realistic graphics is not only a temporary accomplishment but one that reinforces and crunch nature of game development.

           Even separate from that, details in its ability to render a world falters compared to an earlier game in the series: Far Cry 2, as evidenced by this video from Crowbcat. Some of the most telling differences lie in small things such as bush branches being pushed by the presence of the player, whereas Far Cry 5 only has flat 2D textures angled in different directions for bushes. Fire in Far Cry 2 burns foliage by slowly eating away at the branch’s leaves. In Far Cry 5 it simply makes the affected greenery swap out colored textures for black ones. While the landscapes may be in higher resolutions with greater fidelity, it loses the many small things that lend the player a presence in the world. Instead you are simply a mounted camera with arms for killing.

 John Seed

             Upon completion of the tutorial island you will be unleashed to travel wherever you so desire on the game map, though it lightly pushes you to begin with John Seed’s area to the southwest. In this area you rid the town of Fall’s End of peggie (the derivative term used for Project Eden’s Gate members) occupation and kick off the resistance to John Seed’s control. Everytime a major point is passed on your Resistance meter John will have you captured and brought before him for lectures on sin and atonement.

           John is obsessed with the confession of sin and the resulting atonement that confession yields. However this isn’t the same as confessing to a priest in the Catholic Church. Instead, John enjoys carving the sin’s name onto your flesh before cutting it out and placing it on whatever surface lies nearby for all to see. The imagery is crude though effective. Having your sin made a part of your flesh and having that flesh  taken from you and posted in public is freeing, both in that it is no longer a part of you and that it is no longer hidden. The flesh throughout the New Testament is a source of sin, of failure, of our inherent flaws. To have that flesh serve as the easel upon which our specific failing is made known to all who can see it, and to cast it out of us, is a violent, but functional, metaphor. Failing to explore why John does this, and specifically why he seemingly loves to do it, is where Far Cry 5 falls flat.

           Cult leader Joseph recognizes that John still has growing to do before he can become a true leader of the cult. John never mentions frustration with his place in the power structure, which might have fed his anger. Instead, John simply takes pleasure in inflicting pain on others. Giving John a clear source for his anger, for his need to force others to atone for their sin, would have made him a more believable person. Likewise, Joseph could have been made a better antagonist if the source were a tragic one he exploited, like with Faith.

The context that came to my mind that would have improved my empathy for the character was that John was gay amidst a cult that killed those who couldn’t or wouldn’t conform. Having John previously cast out of religious institutions due to this, and to have him be given shelter and power by Joseph would have justified his place within the cult. To have Joseph turn around and betray John by carving this “sin” onto him but leaving it to John to cut out would have given him a source of internal conflict. This could have been the reason he so enjoyed cutting the sins out of others, because he was unable to cut it out of himself. John’s sin could have been other things as well, whether it be a lack of faith, jealousy of his older brother, pride in his control, these too would have worked as sins he didn’t want to acknowledge.

However, to have John be gay would be to acknowledge that Evangelicals, one of the largest demographics of the United States, especially rural counties like the fictional Hope County of Far Cry 5, cause unjustified harm to people simply for existing. And because Far Cry 5 has a cowardly approach to most of the subjects within, this would have been too “political” for them to include. Due to the lack of depth in John’s character, Far Cry 5 shows its not only unwilling to do anything slightly provocative but also to make its characters more than empty vessels of dialogue. John remains a vapid character because of this, and even his  “Say Yes” infomercial can’t drown out the overwhelming dullness surrounding him.

 Faith Seed

 Once you have eliminated John and conquered his area, you move on to Faith Seed’s to the east. Faith, named after the virtue, is in charge of the production of the Bliss drug for the cult. She communicates through the Bliss constantly, but lacks any semblance of humanity save for two instances.

The first is when you destroy the large statue of Joseph in the center of her area, when she will mention that your actions will cause Joseph to bring down consequences on Faith, what exactly this means is never mentioned unless you explore certain caves. In them you will find notes discussing that there are many Faith Seeds, and this one is simply the latest to have that designation. The others, the ones who failed, met terrible deaths at the hand of Joseph and his cult.

The second appears just as she is about to die during your drugged out fight with her. Its presence near the end of her campaign was insulting as I had already spent enough time listening to her boring lectures on trusting in Joseph that I couldn’t care less. With this one she brings up how she was ostracized and bullied and that Joseph was the only one who took her in. The twist, if you can call it that, is that he drugged her and exploited her for his own purposes, betraying the faith she had put in him. Why she was ostracized and bullied is unanswered, and given her appearance as a standard blonde girl, doesn’t really come across as believable no matter how cruel humans can be.

Riley MacLeod has written about the double standard Faith represents a double standard among Evangelicals, but even that is being too sympathetic to the game. The references to her exploitation come way too late or rely on the player finding them among the game world. Failing to mention the betrayal by Joseph earlier means there is no time spent on how cult leaders frequently sexually exploit the women, and children, of the cult with their power. Far Cry 5 is more than willing to show off gun violence and brutal executions but barely even acknowledges the sexual violence that occurs within the cults it wants to badly emulate.

 Jacob Seed

 Jacob Seed is perhaps the best of the four siblings, though that isn’t very high praise given his company. Jacob is a war veteran who spent a period of time in the first Gulf War. It was during this time that he and a teammate were shot down and stranded far from any allies without the required provisions. Starvation drove Jacob to achieve a mindset that he referred to as clarity, one that drove him to kill and consume his friend in order to survive. This mindset, one that he purports separates the weak from the strong, is how he rules over the northern section of Far Cry 5’s map.

Opposing him is the Whitetail Militia, who are frequently taken prisoner for mind control sessions that allow Jacob to trigger them, and you, into violent frenzies with the song “Only You (And You Alone).” How this condition has been implanted into you isn’t discussed. Much like the Bliss drug, it is merely a narrative shortcut to allow for dream-like sequences in which you run through a shooting gallery whenever you are captured.

Jacob’s ideology about separating the weak from the strong calls to mind John the Baptist's teaching about how Jesus was coming to separate the wheat from the chaff. Conveniently this interpretation leaves out the fact that those who were spared in the New Testament were not the ones who were strong but instead the ones who believed in Jesus and his teachings. Jacob has the most coherent arguments for why the world is going to end, though he never discusses anything else beyond that. While he mentions upon his impending death that he doesn’t actually care much whether or not his brother talks to God, it is about the most we get out of him besides his obsession with meat and killing the weak.

 Joseph Seed

 Joseph Seed lacks charisma; he lacks a defined faith beyond the world is ending. Most likely this is because those behind Far Cry 5 didn’t want to upset any Evangelical Christians with direct references to Jesus or the New Testament outside of Revelations. Joseph, and especially John, appear less like rural Montana citizens and more like Silicon Valley douche-bros with their partially shaved heads and millennial fashion wear. You could mistake them for Richard Spencer and his “dapper” style that was used as a way to legitimize his disgusting views on race. Far Cry 5 may want to use that same style, but don’t worry the cultists aren’t white supremacists; in fact, they’re very inclusive as indicated by the amount of non-white folks among them that you murder throughout the game.

Joseph’s problem is the game’s problem: the appearance of depth and meaning. Each character has one trait or characteristic that is repeatedly used but never given depth. Joseph believes the end of the world is coming and that he is God’s chosen vessel to save everyone, willing or not. He uses this to justify the violence his cult commits to those who resist. The game justifies his violence by telling the player they are the reason people suffered, that Joseph was right and you should have never come to stop him. This would have been slightly more acceptable had Joseph been a detestable asshole who I wanted to shove a knife into, but he isn't. Instead Joseph is a boring prophet proclaiming over and over how I’m wrong, he is right, and the world is going to collapse so we all better follow him into the bunkers belowground. He even sings “Amazing Grace” at the outset, as if to unknowingly hammer the fact that this game is only ever surface level with its source material.

Midway through each area, when you are captured for the second time, Joseph will make an appearance to speak to the player. Each time he tells a story or attempts to make a point that was so banal the only one I remember was insultingly generic. When he visits you and Jacob he retells a story about how when he was younger he had a wife and soon-to-be-born child. His wife got in an accident and died while the child barely hung on to life. Joseph, feeling called by God, killed his child in the hospital by cutting off her oxygen. The reason behind this ploy is obvious; it is to build up the players hatred of Joseph. However, it came in the midst of all the other awful shit going on in Far Cry 5 that just rendered it another dull addition to the tone of the game. I already heard a companion describing how a cook tortured his victims. I already saw John carve out the flesh of another companion. Faith showed me how she forced people to jump to their death on the rocks below. Throughout Hope County I came across bodies strung up on road signs, people dead in their homes, and piles of corpses in makeshift mass graves. All of these things should be repugnant, but because Far Cry 5 constantly throws these images at you and fails to do anything with them beyond asking you to be horrified, it makes them vapid.

Joseph Seed has his own book, one which may be available to read excerpts from elsewhere but in-game it only exists to let the player know the cult is not drawing only from the Old Testament and Revelations. Verses are quoted and thrown at the player as if they mean something. Our main antagonists all have Biblical names with no thought behind what they represent. It shows that the game has no interest in doing anything other then delivering a re-skinned Far Cry game with a North American evergreen forest setting.

 Closing

 There was real potential to do something interesting with the setting. Whether it be to show how religion, actual religion not this Eden’s Gate pseudo-religion, is often used to justify awful things. They could have included an attempt to contact the outside world only to find the federal government was uninterested in spending resources on a backwater county, leaving the citizens to die and the cult to rule until their own collapse. Violence could have been made slightly meaningful if the people you were killing weren’t so generically villainous in their actions.

Connections could have been made to show how preppers and militias are often fearful not only of government intervention in their lives but the influx of immigrants and The Other. It fails to acknowledge the violence already present in that region separate from the introduction of a doomsday cult. In regards to gun ownership the game seems to have something to say, though unintentionally: it's a good thing the good preppers and militiamen had guns to fight off the bad preppers and militiamen that make up the cult. This is essentially the “good guy with a gun” argument implemented in a place where law and order has been done away with. See, the 2nd Amendment is justified because without it how else would these people have defended themselves from the cult? Tracking and blocking mass sales of guns, especially those designed for the sole purpose of killing humans, definitely wouldn’t have kept this cult from obtaining their armaments.

Instead we have as Julie Muncy describes, “a hall of mirrors.” A game that lacks the ability to do anything more than deliver the same uninspired experience the series has been able to mask well enough until it brought it to a land I know. And it forces you to reconsider what you thought about the previous entries, and that their exotic locations were perhaps an uglier choice than we initially thought. That iis one thought provoking thing Far Cry 5 managed to instill in me, I can’t say the same for anything else.

[kitsunesbooks]

Nier Automata is a Better Dark Souls than Dark Souls

There is a trend in modern media, especially within video games, in which the story tells the tale of a character who must suffer a great deal before ever reaching their supposed happy ending. Nier Automata is no exception, and it is a game that most certainly takes inspiration from the grandfather of this trend, Dark Souls. However, it is my honest opinion that Nier Automata handles the theme of suffering and the concept of repeating cycles far better than Dark Souls ever could. The most obvious contribution to this opinion is the much more focused writing of Yoko Taro. While his stories can be extremely convoluted and confusing, his characters are far too endearing for players to dwell on the more questionable details of his work. Dark Souls on the other hand has been hit or miss with its characters over the course of the three installments, and the series’ focus on open ended storytelling doesn’t always resonate with players. These two games both have common themes that tie back to our everyday lives and have even helped people like myself to pick themselves off the ground and continue walking forward. The overall concept is something truly wondrous and powerful and something I hope to explore in this article.

The beauty of the first Dark Souls game is how it blends a noble quest with a feeling of pointlessness. Throughout the game, you understand your goal to be the rekindling of the First Flame, but as you fight your way through the Undead Burg and the Undead Parish you begin to ask yourself a pivotal question. “What is there left to save?” The kingdom of Lordran is in ruins, undead walk its cobbled streets and there are few people left with their sanity intact. It is a dismal situation to say the least and it depletes your motivation to almost zero. You constantly doubt your goal is even worth struggling for because you aren’t even certain if it will even fix anything. Even then, there isn’t much to save in the kingdom of Lordran. Dark Souls director Hidetaka Miyazaki wanted to tell a story that was both inspired by the Western fairy tales he enjoyed as child and as well as his favorite manga, Berserk. Both inspirations are more than present within the entire Dark Souls series, this is especially true for the former. Growing up, Miyazaki enjoyed Western fairy tales, but because he wasn’t very good with English, the stories had many gaps within them that he would have to piece together himself. This open ended story telling is what influenced the Dark Souls series as a whole. It is also what allows that overwhelming sense of pointlessness to persist throughout the game.

Dark Souls’ blend of hope and hopelessness is reflective of life itself and that is one of the reasons the game resonates with players so much. It rekindles the pleasure brought on by getting through some sort of trial. Whether it be a tought college semester, and important project, or just a rough patch with friends. The almost iconic boss fights within Dark Souls capture that great sense of relief when you finally defeat one after so many tries. It is a truly beautiful and almost genius metaphor for our own existence. We constantly find ourselves trying and trying and ultimately failing time and time again. Despite so many failures we keep pushing ourselves to succeed. There are times when we are defeated and we can’t get back up for awhile, but we still persist. Dark Souls is a game that rewards persistence, but not only that, it rewards skill. Dark Souls encourages players to analyze situations and think quickly in order to find the best course of action. The very way the game controls is meant to feel more real than most “hack n’ slash” kind of games. The controller itself is divided up to represent two halves of a body. The very mechanics and controls reflect the lore and themes of Dark Souls which ultimately helps bolster the kind of metaphor it is aiming to portray. The ultimate flaw in this is that these themes are not presented upfront. Everything in Dark Souls takes a back seat and gameplay is at the forefront. Because of it’s open ended storytelling, few will be motivated enough by a single cutscene of exposition. Though, for the few that do stay, they experience a great metaphorical challenge and a test of resolve.

Nier Automata is the game that does away with the open ended storytelling the Souls games are known for nowadays, while still keeping the core themes and metaphors that were present in those same games. Yoko Taro is a master of character drama, and while the NPCs of Dark Souls are endearing and entertaining to interact with, they still have a level of open-endedness about them. Granted, Yoko Taro’s focus is only on the three main characters of Nier Automata, their interactions with one another and the overall arc of the story helps to perpetuate the concept of the repeating cycle. Even the first words uttered by 2B in the first route of the game state clearly that this story is neverending. The beauty of Nier Automata is the fact you are not playing an avatar like in Dark Souls. The fact that Dark Souls puts you into the world via a created character and its NPCs are more or less lackluster in terms of an overarching story means that the ties you have aren’t nearly as strong. Nier Automata puts you in the shoes of three fleshed out characters with personalities far different from your own. They talk to each other, they share moments together, the player, in this instance, is just an observer. I think that this is what helps Nier Automata pull one out from underneath Dark Souls. Its three main characters and the ways they interact are completely endearing and it makes the story all the more emotional when things don’t go their way. You find yourself wishing desperately that those three androids could be happy and that is the root of Nier Automata’s emotional investment.

The suffering that 2B, 9S, and A2 all go through is yet another reflection of life. Everyone just wants to be happy, but we are all caught in a cycle of happiness and suffering. Happiness doesn’t seem to be permanent for anyone. When things finally hit rock bottom for our heroes, we find ourselves empathizing heavily because we more than likely have been in similar places, or were experiencing those same emotions when we sat down and played. It is an almost cathartic experience as you can’t help but cry with those lovable androids as they slowly break down emotionally. Route C/D of Nier Automata is no easy thing to complete as it is the most emotionally charged part of the game, and honestly, one of the most emotional parts of any game I’ve played. It is when Yoko Taro really does bring out his best talent and forces us to watch as the characters we spent two whole playthroughs bonding with collapse under the weight of their problems. It replicates the feeling of empathy we get towards a close friend and represents a powerful understanding of emotional writing. Giving players all this time to bond with 2B and 9S only to then drag them through the mud is one of the best writing choices this game made, but it is by far the absolute best.

The greatest thing this game has to offer is it’s final ending. Ending E is one of the best endings I have ever seen in a video game and it is what brings the themes of Nier Automata to forefront. The game takes a dramatic shift by addressing the player directly and essentially interviewing the player. The final conversation the player has with the game is one of the most heart wrenching and relatable things I have seen in a video game and I think it definitely is one of the best ways I’ve seen to end a game. It was that ending that cemented Nier Automata as one of my favorite games of all time. The powerful message behind that ending and the ultimate breaking of the cycle is a moment still imprinted within my mind and it will stick with me for a very long time. It is the same feeling I got whenever I defeated a particularly tough boss in Dark Souls, but magnified exponentially. That is what makes Nier Automata so good. While Dark Souls rewards persistence consistently with each boss fight, Nier Automata holds out on that feeling of relief to absolute end of the game. That is what makes that relief all the more potent and heartwarming.

Both of these games represent powerful metaphors for life and the struggle we go through day in and day out. Ultimately, Nier Automata’s character drama gives it an edge over Dark Souls as it also reflects the mechanics of the Souls series in terms of the way death is handled. Both games have extremely similar themes, but Nier Automata is far more relatable and its charm and gameplay are what will drive more people to play it, while Dark Souls will forever be recognized for its difficulty alone. It is a shame, but understandable why. Nier Automata is one of the best souls-like games in terms of theming and I hope that Yoko Taro’s next project does more with these themes. Nier Automata is a game I plan to treasure for the rest of my life and I urge anyone going through a rough patch in their life to sit down and play it. You will not be disappointed.

[forceyourway]

Tree of Life Shadow Work Challenge

Day Five: “What element of the father archetype might I benefit from taking into consideration?”

(Using Loki’s tarot deck, “The Raven’s Prophecy Tarot”)

Seven of Swords - This card is about strategy and doing what’s best for you. Right now, I’ve been maintaining pretty steady contact with my dad. Every few weeks or so we’ll go out for dinner or something. He’s still horribly problematic, though, and profoundly everything -ist. I’ve been responding to this by shutting him down with hard logic. Recently he was ranting about how Political Correctness means you can’t do anything nowadays, and I said, “It’s not about taking away your “rights,” but about making other people comfortable. Complaining about PC-ness is just a front so you can continue to be an asshole whenever you like.” and that completely shut him down. I wonder if I can keep this going, and if it’s in my best interest to do so.

Father - Guidance, Protection, Discipline

Think about your father (or other persons who served as a father figure). What is your relationship with him like– what was it like growing up? Take note of memories you have of him that stand out. How do you see him? In what ways do those qualities reflect in your life? Do you experience any resistance to your father? Consider the things you don’t like about him, then ask yourself how you might demonstrate those qualities yourself. Consider the things you do like about him and how far you might go to embody those qualities yourself.

My relationship with my father is complicated. He’s done a lot of unquestionably horrible things, but unlike my mother, I have many good memories of him. I believe that he really did think he was doing the best thing for us, even during those really horrible moments. I think he’s so focused on the goal, whatever that may be, that he locks out everything else. And he thinks that everyone thinks the way he does; what he wants for you must be what you want for you. What you need is what he says you need. And when he doesn’t reach his goal, he doesn’t understand why. He’s not very likely to examine his own behaviour and admit that his constant and blatant jerkishness is pushing people away from him. He gets extremely defensive if you suggest he might have done something wrong.

Because I understand this, and because I do have a lot of good memories, every time it seems like he might be coming around, I reach for it. And every time, I’m heartbroken when it’s snatched away. I know I’m going to pretty much turn to dust when he dies, because I have all of this unresolved stuff, and it’s not going to be resolved, not in life, anyway.

I ended up hospitalized for suicidal ideation after spending only a week or so with him during my college’s Summer break, and he did all sorts of horrible things then. He showed up to visit me by kicking back on the couch, all stereotypical-like, and unloading all of his feelings of abandonment on me. It was like I was his therapist; really weird given the situation. I don’t remember what triggered it, I must have said something about it being kind of messed up that I was supposed to make him feel better when I was in a freaking mental hospital. He blew up. Screaming about how I’m Ungrateful or something like that. I ended up running to my room and locking him out, while he screamed at the door. He harassed my roommate, trying to get her to make me open the door. I think I had him leave with some implication that he was not to return, but soon after, I saw him Lurking in the cafeteria, like a shark. Of course, they released me to him, because Ableism. He just seems so nice!!1!1

I was afraid of him. He was always screaming and acting very violent, slamming things. He called my mom all sorts of gendered slurs, and then called me them whenever I did something bad. I didn’t feel safe talking to him about anything. When I had to ask him if I could go to college in Canada, I wrote him a letter, and ran before I could see the results.

Some of my earliest memories of him are of me watching him play Final Fantasy, the original, on the NES. His party was named after our family, with himself as a Thief, my mom as a Red Mage, myself as a White Mage, and my sister as a Fighter. I don’t think he picked them based on personality, but that’s kind of what he ended up with, save my mom, who’d be like an NPC or something. Some snotty princess in another kingdom. I’d get upset when he fought the sabertooth tigers, saying “Don’t kill kitty!” Of course, he had to kill them. That’s how the game went. And I watched him play Startropics, too. Pretty much as soon as I was able, I picked the games up myself. I asked for an N64 when I was in elementary school, and he said no, he’d get the new thing that was coming, but that was just an excuse to push off buying a system forever. He didn’t want us playing video games. One day, I was wandering around the local video rental store (back when it still existed), and spotted Final Fantasy X on the shelf. I knew that “X” meant 10, meaning I had missed a ton of Final Fantasy that whole time, and it pretty much blew my mind. I told my dad, and it blew his mind, too. He hadn’t seen the graphics evolution that happened between FF1 and FF10. I think that’s when we got a PS2. I was well old enough to play it, then, so we both played it. It was a major bonding thing, that let to Baldur’s Gate, which we played together. This is the source of my love for Final Fantasy: because it basically is all the good memories of my father, or, at least, the strongest ones. Ever the perfectionist, he played it until everything that could be got was got...literally. Every single point on the sphere grid. Every single sidequest, including defeating every single monster in the monster arena. He clocked in like 600 or 700 hours, or something, and it was his masterpiece. We were used to seeing him play it, when we weren’t. The only thing he missed was one Al Bhed primer that blew up with Home. He’s still pretty sour about that.

Playing “To Zanarkand” is a good way to make me cry.

Disney World is another of my happiest memories, even though my parents were clearly fighting during the time. He asked me if I’ve been back since, and kept talking about how I was trying to ~ruin~ everything. Like that I ~refused~ to go on Space Mountain, when my sister went with him. I told him that it went upside-down at some point, and that scared me. And that I was ~overreacting~ in the Haunted Mansion. I told him I was really young and absolutely terrified, and it didn’t matter that my sister wasn’t. Fear doesn’t work like that. I was okay until the “walls” closed behind us. That was it. And yet, for me, it’s one of my happiest memories. I don’t focus on that stuff like him.

When I was really young, we used to play a game called Sleep. This consisted of him napping on the couch, and my sister and I climbing all over him. He’d pretend to still be asleep, catch us in all kinds of weird positions, and we’d have to wiggle our way free. We thought it was hilarious. I remember I even talked about it in one of my homework assignments, and the teacher “corrected” it, because she didn’t know what Sleep was. She wrote something like “I like to play *and sleep with my dad.”

We had one of those big inflatable pools in the backyard every Summer. He showed us how to make a “whirlpool,” and we played Shark, which I think was just us hanging on his shoulders while he swam around menacingly. As an adult, he was trying to get me to come hang out with him at the casino, because there was a pool. He said we could play shark. I literally cried. I’m literally tearing up right now.

We also did “midnight swim,” which was never at midnight, but it was always us swimming when it was totally dark, close to bedtime. He’d actually go and specifically ask us to swim with him. It was something just for us; my mom wanted nothing to do with it.

And he has a thing for fireworks. I mentioned that in one of my previous posts. He now launches all sorts of fireworks, some of them quite big, whenever he feels like in the Summer. He has this massive box of them in the garage, so they’ll last a while. Sometimes he let us set one off. He gave us sparklers, and, on at least one occasion, giant sparklers, which were pretty much as long as our arms. The thought of him not doing fireworks is making me tear up.

Negative Qualities

Controlling - As mentioned, he pretended to be a therapist online to manipulate my mother into bringing us back home. He demands compliance and will should “Defiance!!!1!!” or accuse me of doing a thing just for spite if I don’t do the thing fast enough. Once he sent a “Go to Bed” error message to my computer when I snuck back on at night, which was terrifying. He’d ask me for money and offer to pay it back with interest, or pay it back double, or whatever, and get mad when I declined. At one point, he owed two? thousand dollars. One day, he showed up at my work, and I was so happy to see him. I just thought he was stopping by and how great would that be, but no. He was there to ask me to give him money when I couldn’t escape him. Years later, he pulled this again, showing up at my former-dream-job. He didn’t want money; this time, it was just because I wasn’t answering his texts fast enough.

Insecure - He gets really defensive if you imply he’s done something wrong, and in general seems to build himself up by tearing everyone else down. & Me - As mentioned, I’m really bad for deflecting and trying to dodge blame.

Aggressive - He was always screaming and slamming things; I was scared of him. One day, he was going to take our family to the river to swim, but I was on my period, so I couldn’t very well do that. I said he and my sister could go and I’d stay home. I tried to explain [periods] to him, but he doesn’t know how periods work. He ended up screaming in my face about how I’m ruining family stuff, and I could see that he was only barely restraining himself from hitting me. I egged him on: “Hit me.” So he did - open palm, of course - and smacked the absolute hell out of me. I still didn’t go to the river. & Me - I have a horrible temper. It’s really hard to upset me, ‘cause I’m all understanding and stuff, but once you do, I go straight into Sekhmet levels of pissed. And I’ll turn this on myself if I don’t meet my own standards.

Arrogant - He knows how smart he is, and thinks he shouldn’t be questioned. This ties in with perfectionism, because no one can do a thing as well as he can. & Me - I’m very rarely arrogant, since I don’t like myself, but I suppose there is an occasional bit of overconfidence. It tends to manifest as impulsiveness; I’m so sure of my ideas that I just sort of rush into everything.

Depressed - Woe is him. He doesn’t understand why my mother left him, or why me and my sister did. He stopped taking care of the house (and himself), so now it’s this horrible manifestation of rot, with trash and mice everywhere. His gambling addiction ties in here. & Me - I’m also prone to self-indulgence. Depression and terrible self-esteem’ll do that to ya.

Obstinate - Really doesn’t like being told he’s wrong. & Me - I can be stubborn if I think I’m right about something, and refuse to move when pushed, but usually I am more determined than obstinate.

Hostile Humor - Likes to make people genuinely upset and laugh about it, such as deliberately giving someone a racist joke. He thinks they should just know he’s kidding, because of course he is, but none of them are “smart enough.” His tone when doing this is the same as when he’s talking normally, so often I have no idea when he’s “joking” or openly serious. When I was in elementary school, he pretended to fall off the roof multiple times, just to see what we’d do. He’d be putting up Xmas lights or something, then position himself above the downstairs window, and slide off so we would see him fall. Of course you need to go “aaah!” when you do this, to make it more convincing.

Positive Qualities

Intellectual - My dad is smart as hell. He’s got multiple degrees, is way too into math, and thinks you better be, too. Since I was the “smart” kid, anything less than straight A’s was obviously because I wasn’t trying hard enough. So I kind of felt like I was never doing enough/like I was a disappointment, y’know? That’s not good, but there is good in here, yet. He was always trying to teach me something. He was trying to teach me what DNA stood for when I was like, 6, or something, and he’d get frustrated when I couldn’t remember it. Figured out that my sister and I couldn’t accurately perceive time, and measured car trips in “Scooby Doo”’s, which was actually pretty clever of him. Kind of interesting that he accepted this, but not the above stuff. & Me - I’m pretty good at school, and excellent in my field of study.

Analytical - He likes thinking about how people work and why things happen. He’ll actually acknowledge this, if I point out something particularly impressive. & Me - Same.

Perfectionist - The branches on our Christmas tree needed to be perfectly arranged so they looked most real; this took a huge amount of time. Sometimes he’d make me do it, because I knew how. I generally hated it, because it took so long. He’s always real worried that the grass is to high, and now that he’s stopped taking care of the house and it’s overgrown, he’ll still complain about it. He’d go all-out with Christmas presents, and was very proud of how he put Christmas lights all around the house. He stripped the dining room table and all the chairs by himself, and resealed them. & Me - I have a “go big or go home” mentality, and will do a thing until it is the most complete instead of complete the fastest.

Family-Oriented - He was actually involved in stuff, like Sleep and playing video games with me. He’ll check up on me every now and then, asking if I’ve gotten an oil change, and stuff like that. He’ll occasionally toss a bit of cash my way, and always pays for me if we go out to eat, despite not having enough to pay his bills. He was big on making sure we had a variety of fun life experiences when we were kids, and we did new things all the time, like canoeing. That was really fun. He has a very traditional mindset in that he believe emotions are the women’s job, and she’s supposed to cook and clean and all that. The fact that she didn’t really engage with us was a huge point of tension for him.

He literally sleeps next to a picture of my sister and I as kids. ;___;

Spontaneous? - Surprise, we’re going to Florida! Right now. Get in the car. Hurry up. “Spontaneous” is not a word I’d usually associate with my father, and yet, this shit happened all the time. I don’t know if he came up with this stuff on the fly, or if it was planned ahead, but executed in a very weird way (this seems more likely). Maybe he thought a “surprise” vacation was gonna be awesome? I wonder if mom was in on it, or if it was a surprise for her, too? Not so much. We missed our flights a lot, which was not fun. I always felt like I was being dragged along somewhere. It was very disruptive, in an already-chaotic environment, and caused me a lot of stress. & Me - I’m actually spontaneous, in that I’ll suggest Fun Things for everyone to do all the time. I’m good at planning to break up monotony, too; I have a solid list of cool stuff to do when everything starts to feel blah. It’s really sad that I’ve never gotten to use it. I’ll give people gifts just because, and I am damn good at giving gifts. But at the same time, “just winging it” makes me uneasy, for the reasons described above. If I’m gonna go hang out with someone, and we might go somewhere, I want to know when, so I can be sort of mentally ready for it. If plans are made but full of question marks (”I’ll show up whenever”), that makes me uneasy. Just plan to do nothing, and we can just hang out. If someone then has a cool idea, great. There is a “plan,” so I can predict, even if the plan is “do nothing.” Works like a charm.