#he is THE quintessential golden retriever guy!!!!!!!!!

[raajasii]

[scare-ard--sleigh]

bad news; slept like Absolute Shit last night

good news; took a nap & feel great

even better news; marketing article extension GRANTEDDDDDDDDD 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

[velvetfoxgames]

Some waterpark headcanons 🌊

Alexei - He really enjoys the water (especially once you/someone teaches him how to swim 🏊‍♂️). Particularly likes sitting on a tube in the wave pool, and will hold your hand so you don't get separated. You'll catch him studying ride mechanics pretty frequently. He'll figure out how to make tube rides go real fast. Rather than being afraid, he's just beaming. If the turbulence makes you squish into him, that's only a plus

Brooklyn - On duty making sure you're hydrated and protected from the sun, if needed. He'll get a VIP pass. As much as he wants to, he will not wear a Victorian bathing suit. However, swim trunks + sunglasses give him a very different sort of look than you're used to 🔥 He'll even make the ride attendants stutter. This guy does not have any interest in solo rides. He wants to be with you

Leo - Leo is quintessential waterpark boyfriend. Like he should be working there. He's up for anything and is just very golden-retriever-in-the-water engery. He's a pro on the surfing simulator and insists on carrying large tubes up to the rides himself. Puts his arm around you while waiting in line and sneaks a few kisses here and there. If you start getting too hot, he'll give you his hat. Loves wrapping you up in a towel at the end of the day

Milo - Is content to do whatever you want to do. Fluctuates between being a gentleman by holding the inner tube still for you to get in...and positioning you both so you get the most air and bumps. Lowkey holds your hand in line. Eats a lot of pizza. Uses the lazy river as an opportunity to take a nap. Excellent to use as a flotation device in the wave pool. He looks quite tan by the time you leave

Rory - You'll be reapplying sunscreen on him about every 1.5 hours, otherwise he'll burn to a crisp. Packs lunches for the two of you rather than purchasing food. Top of his list is the death drop water slide. So annoyed if someone cuts you two in line. Wraps his arms around you only in dark tunnel rides. Secretly pleased if you ever get scared and cling to him. Disappears at one point and comes back with a cute souvenir from the gift shop for ya

Tobias - Even disregarding his celebrity status, he will draw attention due to his appearance, so be prepared to have everyone ogling your boyfriend. He'll want to go on the adrenaline rides and will encourage you to join. Will be scared of rides with animatronics and such. He's that guy who wants to make out with their partner in queue, but he'll try to keep it PG. Cabana rental where the two of you can chill with some privacy

[dhaaruni]

The Tortured Poets Department Reaction

"My husband is cheating, I want to kill him" is great

I would never describe Matty Healy as a golden retriever (Jude doesn't claim him) but like, I also wouldn't write about him like Halsey did here so maybe I just don't get the appeal lol

*Marked safe from finding Matty Healy attractive*

I really like the bridge of "My Boy Only Breaks his Favorite Toys" like "Once I fix me, He's gonna miss me" kind of makes me want to commit seppuku. I used to morbidly joke that my college ex-boyfriend's type was thin, teenage, and troubled but ironically, when I stopped being all three of those things, I was the one who fell out of love with him.

Once again, I can't get over the insanity of admitting you find Matty Healy attractive like really? That guy?

"And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free" is a big "I spent several years trying to make a guy fall in love with me who stopped loving me when he realized I wouldn't grow out of being myself" mood (and yes I relate).

"Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all" like I mean yeah lol. When you've been ... dead since the very beginning, it takes time to learn to be alive.

I love Florence Welch SO much like "Howl" is arguably my favorite song of all time and like well, my ex-boyfriend of 4 years (whose birthday is ironically today) is from South Florida (the one who told me he stopped loving me when he realized I'd never grow out of being myself) so "So I did my best to lay to rest/All of the bodies that have ever been on my body hitting in a weird way" is hitting really hard right now.

"If you wanted me dead you should’ve just said" vs. "If I'm dead to you then why are you at the wake"

Taylor Swift thinks she can fix guys, I know I make them worse (we're the two kinds of unhinged talented daughter of very loving parents)

"I Can Do It With A Broken Heart" is so fun, I'm a fan like it sort of reminds me of "Green Light" by Lorde and this song is so quintessentially Taylor like it's true, who doesn't want to kill themselves on their birthday?

I really find it interesting that people are like furious at Taylor for being the most famous woman in the world while still being pathologically anxious, it's like they can't understand how women work.

I almost think this album is less about Matty Healy or Joe Alwyn and more about who she is as well, the most famous woman in the world, and the brand of Taylor Swift vs. the person Taylor but we'll see if she expands on the meaning later on.

[chion3spid3r]

The bell rang, signaling the start of lunch period at the Vision Academy. you grabbed your bag and headed to the cafeteria, catching sight of Miles across the crowded hallway. His two neat braids and deep brown eyes stood out even from a distance. As usual, he was surrounded by his crew - the popular guys who ruled the school's social hierarchy.

you watched as Miles nodded along to whatever Jake, the football captain, was saying. His face was neutral, almost bored-looking. To anyone else, he probably seemed like the quintessential mysterious hot guy. you had to stifle a laugh. If only they knew.

"Earth to Y/N!" Your friend Zoe waved her hand in front of your face. "You're zoning out again."

you blinked, turning back to my own group of friends at your usual lunch table. "Sorry, just thinking about that history test later."

"Ugh, don't remind me," groaned Alex, dramatically dropping his head onto the table.

You fell into our usual lunchtime chatter - complaining about classes, planning weekend hangouts, and debating the merits of the cafeteria's mystery meat. Every so often, you'd glance over at Miles's table. He'd catch my eye sometimes, the tiniest smirk playing at the corner of his mouth before he'd turn back to his own conversation.

The rest of the day dragged on. By the time the final bell rang, you were more than ready to ditch the school persona and just hang out with your best friend. you made my way to our usual meeting spot by the bike racks, finding Miles already there.

"Took you long enough," he said, a teasing grin replacing his 'school face'. "I was about to leave your slow ass behind."

you rolled your eyes. "Yeah right, like you could survive a whole afternoon without my sparkling wit and charm."

"Wit and charm? Is that what we're calling your bad jokes now?"

you fell into step together, heading towards his apartment like we did most days. The walk was filled with your usual banter - inside jokes, ridiculous hypotheticals, and playful insults.

"So how was your day, Mr. 'imsohotandmysterioustoeverygirlsinschool'?" you asked, nudging his shoulder. "Break any hearts with your brooding stare?"

Miles snorted. "Oh yeah, I had to beat 'em off with a stick. It's exhausting being this irresistible, you know."

you laughed. "I'm sure. Must be tough, having everyone think you're some deep, tormented soul when really you're just a dork who cries at dog videos."

"Hey! That golden retriever learning to swim was emotional, okay?"

You both reached his apartment building, taking the stairs two at a time in your familiar race to the door. Miles won, as usual, unlocking the door with a triumphant grin.

Inside, you fell into your after-school routine. Bags were dumped by the door, shoes kicked off haphazardly. Miles headed straight for the kitchen while you flopped onto the couch, already channel surfing.

"Heads up!" he called, tossing you a soda before joining you with a bag of chips.

"So, for real though," you said between handfuls of chips, "how was your day?"

Miles shrugged, his carefree demeanor softening slightly. "Same old, same old. Jake wouldn't shut up about some party this weekend. I don't know why I still hang out with those guys sometimes."

you nudged his leg with your foot. "Because you're too chicken to tell them you'd rather stay home and watch documentaries about conspiracy theories?"

"Hey, those theories are legit!" he protested, but you could see the smile tugging at his lips.

you both settled on the decision after a lengthy discussion. As the evening drew to a close, Miles glanced at you with a familiar glint in his eyes. He stood up and extended his hand, a silent invitation. you took it, feeling the warmth and reassurance of his grip.

Together, you walked down the hallway to his room, a sanctuary filled with shared memories and the scent of his cologne. The door clicked shut behind you, enclosing you in a world where only you existed. Miles’s room was your refuge, a place where you could shed the day’s worries and just be yourselves.

"need some practice?" Miles asked with a playful smirk.

you laughed, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. "Always…" you replied, knowing that these moments were essential for your future dates.

at least you thought

you had made a pact to help each other become more confident in all aspects of your missions, including the art of distraction and seduction. It was a strange but effective part of your training, and over time, you had grown comfortable with it.

Miles pulled you close, his hands resting on your hips, his breath warm against your skin. "Just like we practiced," he whispered, his voice gentle and encouraging.

you smiled, leaning into his touch. "Got it," you replied softly, your fingers tracing the familiar contours of his face.

your lips collided in a fiery explosion, igniting every nerve in your body. His kiss was both intoxicating and maddening, urging you on with each breathless moment. As your bodies pressed together, heat radiated between you both, suffocating in its intensity. The tension in the air was palpable, crackling like electricity as your tongues battled for dominance.

Miles's skilled hands moved with a confident ease, skillfully navigating the curves of your body. One hand slid up your back, pulling you closer to him while the other gently cradled your face. your heart pounded in your chest as you responded in kind, your own hands finding their way to the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in his soft hair. your kisses deepened, each one more intense than the last, as if you were trying to convey all your unspoken desires and emotions through the passionate touch of your lips. The warmth of your bodies intertwined sent shivers down your spine as you lost yourselves in the moment, consumed by the intoxicating taste of each other's lips.

your bodies moved in perfect synchrony as you sunk onto the plush mattress, your embrace unbroken. As you straddled him, his solid warmth radiated through you. The new position intensified every sensation—the weight of his hands on your hips, the way your bodies fit together perfectly like two puzzle pieces. The tension between you grew thicker, the room feeling hotter with each passing moment, your breaths becoming more ragged and urgent. With a newfound fervor, Miles's hands roamed over your skin, tracing all the familiar curves and dips with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. In response, you mirrored his movements, your own hands exploring the solid muscles of his back, pulling him even closer to you.

your journey into the world of kissing began unexpectedly behind the bleachers at a high school football game when you were both barely fifteen. Nervous and unsure of your agreement, your lips met in a hesitant dance. What started as awkward fumbling soon evolved into stolen moments in hidden corners and secret rendezvous in Miles’s bedroom. your make-out sessions transformed into a ritual, born out of the need to conceal your inexperience from prying eyes while secretly preparing for future dates with practiced precision.

Without uttering a word about your escalating fascination, each touch, each kiss carried the weight of unspoken desires that had been growing within you since adolescence, you grew obsessed of each-other's touches and lips. As you embraced tonight with a blend of familiarity and fervor, the urgency in the air spoke volumes about the silent bond you shared, forged through years of perfecting your technique in secrecy.

Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourselves in each other. In those moments, nothing else mattered but the feel of Miles’s lips on yours, the warmth of his embrace, and the love that flowed between you. It was as if the intensity of your connection could somehow make us invincible, ready to face any challenge your future quests might throw at you.

As you slowly disentangled yourselves, a warm and contented sensation enveloped you. Miles's gentle touch brushed a stray strand of hair away from your flushed face, revealing his endearing smile. "You're... grewing skilled at this," he murmured, his voice soft and filled with admiration, a blush creeping up his cheeks. he murmured softly, his voice filled with admiration

you nodded, your heart beating rapidly in my chest. "Thanks. You too..." you whispered, feeling a shy smile tug at your lips, overcome with a breathless sense of contentment.

[bj-vs-trapper-maine-thunderdome]

Daaaaah to hell with it, here’s my entire thought process, im bored and tipsy lets gooooo

Hawkeye - Capuchin Monkey - I wanted some sort of primate because Hawkeye is intellegent and dexterous, as well as very social while still having a bit of a temper. Capuchins are known for being pretty friendly but also very mischevious. It’s also a more unusual animal than most of the others so it fits with how Hawkeye prefers to go against the grain and do his own thing.

Trapper - Irish Wolfhound - I wanted trapper and BJ to have similar daemons to emphasize how BJ almost seems like a replacement Trapper until you look deeper and notice the stark differences. I eventually landed on dogs because theyre “man(Hawkeye)’s best friend”. An Irish Wolfhound in particular is a large athletic breed that can initially come off as friendly and easygoing, but theyre hunting dogs and fierce guardians. They can be destructive when confined indoors and while loyal, are also pretty independant. They also tend to like children.

BJ - golden retriever - The quintessential american family dog, very apple pie and baseball, which is what BJ can initially come off as. Golden retrievers are very friendly, gentle, intellegent and effectionate dogs. They can also be neurotic and have bad separation anxiety. They often require more effort and attention than people expect when getting them.

Mulcahy - Highland Cow - First of all I wanted a biblical animal, and cattle are mentioned all over in scripture. I also chose a cow because they are generally very sweet and docile until you manage to piss one off and they quickly demonstrate that they can easily mess you up. I chose a highland cow because even females have large horns and also, yknow, celtic.

Margaret - Rooster - this one’s pretty obvious but I might as well. Roosters are fierce, bossy, independant, and very uh…. amorous birds. Theyre not always the most intellegent but they make up for it with bravery and tenacity. Protective with a wicked temper, they can be unexpectedly dangerous in a fight.

Charles - Berkshire pig - I chose a pig for Charles because despite appearances pigs are very clean and intellegent animals who can be fastidious about their surroundings. Berkshire pigs in particular are an old english breed which are generally considered to be of very high quality. A pig of good pedigree if you will, a classy pig.

Klinger - Chukar - I wanted a bird for Klinger because he’s A: very pretty and B: he reminds me of a caged bird trying to get out. A Chukar in particular is a pheasant that can be found in Lebanon (and other places it has a wide range) and are hardy survivors. There’s also very little sexual dimorphism so males and females look almost identical.

Radar - Little Brown Bat - a bat might be a bit on the nose with Radar’s, well, radar abilities but its also very cute so nyeh. They’re also very small and shy but extremely active when hunting for food, busy little guys! They also like to sleep all cuddled up with each other like Radar cuddles his bear.

Henry - Jackrabbit - Hares are prey animals not well known for their bravery or intelligence. They are, however, nimble and adaptable, and can put up a fight when cornered. Jackrabbits (which are a type of hare, not rabbit) have particularly powerful haunches (insert Henry butt meme here). Also, well, we’ve all heard the phrase “breeding like rabbits”. Theyre very horny is what im saying. Jackrabbits also very rarely make it to old age.

Potter - Catahoula Leopard Dog - I chose a dog for potter in this case because of the trait of obedience, because as cool as Potter is, he’s also a proud career army man. I chose a Catahoula cur because it’s a farm dog, specifically a herding dog, known for being intellegent and enjoying work. They often work alongside horses too, being a southwestern breed.

Sidney - Polyphemus moth - The formal greek word for moth is Psyche. Need I say more? Okay so yeah, in ancient greek mythology moths were associated with the soul, which I think fits well for Sydney, and the Polyphemus moth in particular with its large eyespots brings to mind being observed and inspected. Moths are also quiet inobtrusive creatures who come and go on the wind.

Frank - (domestic) Turkey hen - okay I know I intentionally made it look like I put no effort into Frank as a joke but I actually did think about this. So there is of course the “fowl” joke with Margaret, but also domestic turkeys are busybodies who can be aggressive but their bark is usually worse than their bite. On a more meta level, Ben Franklin (the founding father) wanted the turkey to be the USA’s national bird instead of the bald eagle, so you could say it mirrors how Frank is trying very hard to be an american hero but just can’t measure up. Also, Ben Franlin (the hawkeye) would probably also say Frank is the perfect symbol for the USA, for much less complimentary reasons.

So yeah, that was how I came to all my decisions. I tried to make each animal choice (with a noteable exception) be either an american animal or one that fits with the character’s ethnicity. Also no I dont think Potter would be a horse or Frank would be a ferret, Daemons arent just animals a character is associated with it has to fit their personality too.

If you made it this far thanks for reading!

———————————————–

M.A.S.H Daemons!!!

Names and Species: Hawkeye - Evelyn (Capuchin monkey) Trapper - Aileen (Irish Wolfhound) BJ - Matilda (Golden retriever) Father Mulcahy - Máiréad (Highland cow) Margaret - Conley (Rooster)  Charles - Patricia (Berkshire pig) Klinger - Hani (chukar) Radar - Aishling (Little brown bat) Henry - Winnie (Jackrabbit)  Col. Potter - Lorraine (Catahoula Leopard Dog) Sidney - Rivka (Polyphemus moth) Frank - Karen (turkey)

If you’re wondering at all the dogs and farm animals, I imagined that was probably common in the 1940′s when there wasn’t a lot of exposure to more relatively exotic animals (unless you’re Hawkeye who went to the zoo once and had to be special)

If anyone wants to tell me my choices are wrong… don’t. don’t do that. that’s mean.

[my3dartblog]

Introducing CHB Thomas for Genesis 9, your virtual heartthrob with irresistible charm! This dashing character boasts a tall and commanding presence, coupled with a stunningly friendly face that is sure to captivate your imagination. Thomas is the epitome of handsome, exuding a warmth that melts hearts whenever he breaks into a smile. With a perfectly sculpted physique that strikes the ideal balance between fitness and muscularity, he embodies the quintessential manly appeal. Thomas is not just a pretty face; he embodies the essence of a "golden retriever" kind of guy - genuinely nice, approachable, and radiating positivity. Whether he's showcasing his strength or flashing that heartwarming grin, this character is your go-to choice for injecting charm and charisma into your Daz3D renders. Meet CHB Thomas for Genesis 9, the virtual sweetheart you've been waiting for! What's Included and Features CHB Thomas for Genesis 9: (.DUF) CHB Thomas Character Preset Eyebrows Preset Head Apply/Remove Body Apply/Remove Complete Apply/Remove Proportions Apply/Remove Material Options: Base Mat Anatomical Elements Mat 11 Eye Colors 02 Eyebrow Colors Textures Include: 34 Texture, Bump, Normal, Ambient Occlusion, and Specular Maps (4096 x 4096) Daz Studio Iray Material Presets (.DUF) Required Products: Genesis 9 Starter Essentials, Genesis 9 Starter Essentials Expansion Compatible Figures: Genesis 9, Genesis 9 Male Compatible Software: Daz Studio 4.22 Install Types: DazCentral, Daz Connect, DIM, Manual Install Coming soon: https://3d-stuff.net/ #daz3d #dazstudio #3drender #3dart #daz3dstudio #irayrender #3dartwork #blender #blenderrender #blenderart #noaiart #noaiwriting #noai https://3d-stuff.net/

[varyagated]

independence day (1996) liveblog part 1

it’s the 4th of july in America which honestly creates mixed feelings for me. I love America, but it doesn’t so much love me, my nearest and dearest, or people like me. My family always watches one movie on the 4th, which is Independence Day (1996).

immediate thoughts on this movie:

I think this is a genuinely good movie that encapsulates 1990s America 

Will Smith, national treasure and publicly polyamorous/open which means a lot to me as a polyam person 

Jeff Goldblum, national treasure and playing a sad divorced environmentalist nerd 

Bill Pullman (hot)

all kinds of representation of women 

there is a golden retriever (lab?? idk)

aliens 

catchy lines you will repeat until you die

I’ve probably watched it 31 times or more in my life

Women rly used to wear makeup like this. It’s a look?!?! God the soft, brown, muted tones. I was taught if you wear a bold eye you can’t wear a bold lip. The hair is quintessential 1990s blowout too. I bet this woman knew exactly what her makeup color “season” was/is

whatever happened to curtains like that?? they only exist now if they are permanently dusty. Also Bill Pullman: still hot. That scratchy voice!

“What are you waiting for...my social security will expire, you’ll still be sitting there.” Jeff Goldblum’s Dad in this 🤣 also nothing more quintessential American than old people playing chess in the park by the NYC skyline

This movie also has another treasure Harvey Fierstein (great voice, voiced Yao in Mulan)

the other thing this movie rly succeeds at is showing all the different ways Americans live, like LA to trailers in rural CA to Washington DC to NYC

*aggressively hits item to fix it****

truly nothing more American than living in a trailer

another mainstay of American culture: unexamined alcoholism

babes that’s my hometown!

pls explain to my millennial ass how this look came back around (center part)

this chick is so hot and powerful. into it. I forgot she’s Jeff Goldblum’s ex (he’s still wearing her ring three years after they broke up)

alien spaceship darkness falling over LA

this kid is way too cute. The child actors who played in this are all grown up which I don’t know why this surprises me since they are only slightly older than me. The President’s daughter is also Mae Whitman which is an inexplicable mindfuck I never noticed

motifs in this movie: dolphins (the bottle of perfume). also lmao at the dialogue in this scene Will Smith asks “it’s an earthquake?” and Vivica A. Fox says “not even a 4 pointer go back to sleep” A++++

i s2g every disaster movie has the statue of liberty defiled or darkened in some way i love american iconography tbh

Will Smith so young in this Vivica A. Fox so pretty. Also motif continued: dolphin earrings

kiddo fighting aliens

motif: dolphins on left

extremely american images

adore how this First Lady looks, she could not look more “90s First Lady” esque

“Once again the LAPD is asking Los Angelinos not to fire their guns at the visitor spacecraft. You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war.”

Jasmine’s wedding ring 😭

forgot there’s like an accidental gay “confusion” scene played for laughs but the witnessing guy just smiles puts his hands up and walks away...pretty ok tier for DADT era

tbc!!!

[galactichoneybee92]

Disorganized Thoughts on Sex Education Season 3

I binge watched the entirety of season 3 on Friday, and after sitting with it for a couple days, I have composed myself enough to offer some thoroughly disorganized thoughts on what I’ve seen. 

     While I did enjoy many things about this season, I don’t understand the people who claim it was the strongest. In fact, I believe that it was the weakest. I don’t know what exactly happened during the delay, but I swear they have to have lost staff. Writers, perhaps editors? Whoever usually reins things in a bit, keeps the show grounded, and everyone in character. Whoever had that job, they’re either gone, or they’ve just stopped giving a fuck which, while relatable, is unfortunate in regards to this show. Now what do I mean by that? Let me elaborate:

1. This season was gross. And I don’t mean in general, like I didn’t like it. No, I mean that the writers decided that being sexually explicit wasn’t funny enough and decided to add just a fuck-ton of fart jokes and toilet humor. And I get it, okay? This show prides itself on being crass. But you can be crass without being disgusting. I acknowledge that this comes entirely down to personal preference, but I can’t stand toilet humor and I feel like this season really ramped it up. Every episode was someone farting or talking about shit, or that god forsaken thrice cursed bus scene. Sex doesn’t gross me out, talk about sex all fucking day I don’t care, but I don’t need to watch an extended scene of someone digging their own shit out of a bus toilet in a sock and chucking it out the window onto someone’s car. And even just smaller things, like Aimee talking about the flour constipating her or her taking a massive shit in Jean’s toilet when she and Maureen were there. Those scenes weren’t necessary for the plot in any way, which leads me to believe they were just there because someone thought they were funny and if that’s you’re thing go off, but it most definitely isn’t mine. 

2. Ruby and Otis. And more importantly, what was the point of Ruby and Otis? Now don’t get me wrong, I like Ruby as a character and I found their relationship interesting. And I think that it would have been even more interesting if the writers had devoted more time to properly developing it- Ruby was getting better as a person but she wasn’t there yet. I liked it once Otis started standing up for himself more, and demanding respect in the relationship and as she started to actually care for him she did come to treat him more respectfully. I think with more time they could have been really good. But they didn’t get that time- she said she loved him and they didn’t even work through that fiasco before he was kissing Maeve at a gas station. Overall it had a lot of potential but the way they played it left me just sitting here like...why? Like from a narrative standpoint what was even the purpose? Because from where I’m sitting it really only served as yet another roadblock standing between Otis and Maeve and even though I shipped them like CRAZY in season 1 and 2 the constant unnecessary roadblocks are getting a little old. Which leads me to my next point...

3. Why was Maeve and Otis so unsatisfying? That’s not actually a rhetorical question, I can tell you: Because the writers put so little effort into what is supposed to be the main couple on the show. I feel like they put more effort into keeping them apart and then when it comes time to put them together they’re just kind of like NOW KISS, they only talk like once after and then they ship Maeve off to America. Now I’ve heard rumors that Emma Mackey might not want to return to the show for season 4 so if I had to guess at all of this I would say that both this point and the last was a sloppy attempt to cover their asses in the event that they can’t get her to sign back on. If she does return, they can explore the relationship between her and Otis in season 4. If she doesn’t, they’re probably going to put him back with Ruby. But they couldn’t just write her off without at least touching on the relationship they spent the past 2 seasons building, even though Otis and Maeve barely interact in this season, which is frankly another reason why it felt so shoddy. They spent exponentially more time talking to other people and then half the time when Otis was talking to her he was super cringe. 

     Overall, despite loving their relationship initially, the characters have changed so much from their original dynamic, and have interacted so little, that I really don’t even know what’s pulling these characters together. It’s disappointing to admit that I’m kind of over it but honestly even the writers don’t feel invested. it kind of feels like they put them together because the audience expected it and after 3 seasons of anticipation the payoff was generally underwhelming. 

4. Otis. Just...Otis. I understand that Otis was introduced as being a very nice helpful character in season one. He was the quintessential good guy. And then in season 2 he got to explore being a douche for a bit- which is fine. He is a teenager and he was going through some shit. But I really felt that by the end of season 2 he should have resolved that particular plot point. And he was a little better in season 3 I guess? But he didn’t really progress until the end of this season and from a writing standpoint I feel like they really dragged that out for too long. 

5. What’s with this show and it’s hard on for cheating? Like seriously, why does almost every relationship have some kind of infidelity. Like, were Otis and Ruby officially broken up when he kissed Maeve? Maeve certainly hadn’t broken up with Isaac, and this was almost directly on the heels of their very emotional sex scene. There was the issue with Jean and Jakob last season, and Eric cheating on Rahim with Adam. And then Eric (for some reason) cheating on Adam this season with random Nigerian dude whose name I can’t remember. Just...why is this a thing? 

     But also can we just talk about how weird the break up was? And out of left field? Like they literally spent the whole season developing their relationship, and then they get to Nigeria and after hiding the whole time he is subtly able to talk about Adam to his grandmother. And he sounds so proud, and so nice when he’s doing so, and not at all like he’s planning to end this wonderful relationship he’s describing. And then when he gets back, guilty after cheating on said boyfriend (like he should be) he asks Adam, seemingly as a test, if he would go out to a club with him. And Adam says no because that isn’t his scene and like...Eric knows that isn’t his scene. But at the same time, I feel like if Eric had sat him down and been like “You don’t have to wear makeup or dress outlandishly, just come to the club with me because it’s important to me” I really think Adam would have gone. And if the clothes and make-up were a dealbreaker like...why? You know who you’re dating. And while wanting him to tell his mom isn’t an overwhelmingly outrageous request, when you start getting into his physical appearance then that’s just actually trying to change him as a person and that’s just a really shitty thing to do. 

6. I promise there will be some positives in this list at some point but before that...what the fuck Eric? Like, I understand that Eric wants to get out there and explore his options, find someone more comfortable doing the things that he wants to go do. That’s realistic I guess, your high school relationships don’t work out and just because Adam came out for him he still isn’t obligated to stay in a relationship with him. But from a fictional narrative standpoint? What the fuck is this? Adam and Eric were one of the most popular ships on the show. They have been foreshadowed since season one, and had so so much effort put into developing them both as characters. Adam has come such a long way. They have brought him so far out of him comfort zone that Adam in season 3 is almost a completely different person to Adam in season 1. They spent so much of this season further developing the relationship they established last season, and for what? To break them up at the very end? WHY? 

7. Following on the heels of point 6, Aimee and Steve. They didn’t need to break up. I understand the direction the writers were taking this- Aimee wants to be single for a while to fully process her trauma and get to know her own body again. And that’s valid. I just don’t like it because I very strongly suspect that she will have a new love interest next season and that all her stuff about being single isn’t going to be shown. It will all happen off screen during whatever time skip they employ between seasons and then they’re going to use the fact that she is single to introduce a new more dramatic love interest for her since golden retriever boy Steve wasn’t interesting enough for them. Maybe that’s just me being cynical but if anyone can come out of season 3 NOT feeling a little cynical it would probably be a miracle. 

8. A positive! Finally a positive! I love the relationship between Adam and Rahim. Do I want them to date? Not particularly. I wouldn’t be mad if it happens, but I really just like them as like awkward begrudging friends. Some of my favorite scenes this season were the interactions between the two of them (Once again, the disgusting bus ride notwithstanding) I like Rahim a lot more when he isn’t interrupting my ship (which is a habit of mine. I liked Ola a lot more once she broke up with Otis) 

9. I don’t think Viv was out of character. Some people have been saying that she was, but I don’t think so. She has always been ambitious and even Jackson understand that about her in the show. And even when she was working for Hope and carrying out her rules, she was never an antagonist because she never gave up her personal morals to do it. For example, when Hope had them divided into boy and girl lines, Jackson asked her where Cal should go. She told him that boys went to the left and girls went to the right but as soon as Cal was like “Im not a boy or a girl,” Viv was immediately like, “ Oh! Right! Let me ask Hope.” She approached the situation in a way that made it clear that she recognized this issue as a legitimate problem and when she went to Hope it wasn’t framed like “This person is being an issue refusing to choose,” but instead like “We didn’t account for this possibility, that was our bad. How should we fix it?” Later on, on the class trip, Viv even lied to Hope and told her everything was fine because she didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. Viv took the opportunities presented to her, but I never interpreted it as her being an antagonist in any way. 

10. I love that Viv and Jackson remained friends, and I love that Viv has her sexy long-distance boyfriend who sexts about wheat XD Her sexting was one of my favorite scenes- well written, laugh out loud hilarious. No complaints. Sexy boyfriend was indeed very sexy and honestly, Viv absolutely deserves him. 

11. Mr. Groff better apologize to Adam next season, or at the very least have any kind of fucking conversation with his son at all or else why the fuck did I watch SO MANY scenes developing him as a sympathetic character? They could have spent that time developing ANYONE, but instead we were focused on him so like...I’m going to need some kind of payoff. Make it relevant

12. I want more bonding scenes between Adam and Maureen. I love Maureen- I love her friendship with Jean and I love how she always chooses her son over  her estranged husband (as she should) I especially love her very loving and supportive relationship with Adam, even though Adam is terrible at communication. It’s a self indulgent wish, I’d just like to see more. 

13. Isaac. I made many posts after the season 2 release, about how much I despised Isaac. Unlike Ola, I find that I didn’t have a complete change of heart but I don’t hate him AS MUCH as I did before. I still don’t like him though and while you might think “Yeah but you hate anyone who stands in the way of Otis and Maeve” no. This is historically accurate and yet, this season? Not true. For example, I don’t hate Ruby. Do I think her inclusion in the story was handled poorly in a way that made the entire plot point unnecessary? Yes I do. I also feel that way about Isaac, but less so because I feel like the relationship between him and Maeve deepening was better foreshadowed and was kind of the natural conclusion given the events of the previous season. As a character though, I still don’t really like him, and after 2 seasons of him I don’t think it has anything to do with him interfering with Maeve’s relationship with Otis- I just legitimately don’t like him. And I don’t like him with Maeve. I think the biggest irritant this season was the way that, after confessing about deleting the message he was like “yeah I fucked up but only because I like you so much, just forgive me” And then at one point I believe I remember Maeve apologizing to him for her reaction to everything. But then when he found out that she kissed Otis (admittedly a shitty thing to do) he got so mad and like, held a fucking grudge about it. And I get it, he has a right to be mad, but also boy you were the one groveling like 2 episodes ago get over yourself. They both fucked up in different ways but he acts like he has the moral high ground all the time and it gets really annoying. I don’t know, maybe I’m letting my general dislike of the character color my perception of events, but this show has managed to change my opinion on characters before but it still hasn’t made me like him so I think it’s just not going to. 

14. What the hell were they trying to do with Hope? Like legitimately, what? Because I can’t quite figure it out. And that’s mostly because I feel like they were trying to make her a nuanced and sympathetic villain, but they broke a cardinal rule- To make a villain sympathetic you must also ensure that nothing they do is inherently irredeemable. For example, principal Groff. He was a grade A dick for the past 2 seasons but I still feel that, now that we have a sympathetic backstory, if handled properly he could still come back from this. He can see the error of his ways and if he works really really hard to make amends to his family he could perhaps have his character turned around. In Hope’s case however, I would argue that they did makes her nuanced, but failed to make her sympathetic because as a character she went too far. If they had stuck to her just being a general tyrant of a headmaster - enforcing strict rules and regulations but doing so out of insurmountable pressure from her own bosses -  and then softened us towards the character by showing us her willingness to help Maeve get a scholarship, her troubled marriage, and her inability to conceive, it could have worked. The trouble is when they brought in her racism and general bigotry. Those weren’t flaws brought on by stress, those were deeply rooted character flaws that the character isn’t going to overcome because by the end of the season the character hasn’t even admitted them to herself. The issues were addressed by others, but not by Hope herself, leaving me to believe that the character herself still views them as a nonissue. I would be very surprised if she even appears in season 4 and moreso if they manage to even half-way redeem her. I’m relatively certain we won’t see her again, which makes me question the effort put into her character development. 

15. I like Jakob as a character, I don’t like him as a love interest for Jean, but I LOVE him as a father figure for Otis. It’s very conflicting because I want him to stay in Otis’s life, but I don’t like him as a romantic interest for Jean. also it’s pretty clear he isn’t Joy’s father so that’s going to be an awkward fucking conversation. If she even tells him. The way the show is going I kind of feel like she won’t, or will at least put it off for as long as possible. 

16. I want more interaction between Otis and Jean. Positive interaction, not just her being intrusive or Otis being a little bitch. I like their mother-son dynamic when they’re getting along so I just generally want more of it. 

17. Adam. Adam has become my favorite character in this show and I just generally want more of him and his relationships with others. I love his relationship with his mother but I want more if him and Emily, and him and Ola and now him and Ruby. I want to see him and Ruby discussing the Kardashians. I want him to train Madam and enter her in more competitions and just ultimately grow his social circle. Get all the love and support for god’s sake this boy needs it. 

Im sure there are plenty of things I’m forgetting and you can ask me about them if you like but for now it’s late and I’m tired. 

[randomidiocyncrazies]

Regarding Enta, there's some information in the sarazanmai novel that didn't make it to the anime, and i’m kind of wondering why it was cut because it’s quite informative imo

When he was ten years old, Enta stood out a bit at school.

He had lived overseas for quite a while when he was young because of his parents’ work circumstances. His energetic sister had no issue making friends with anyone, even if she didn’t speak the language. But Enta on the other hand was painfully shy, and upset his parents by crying to go home to Japan. [...] But all that awaited him as a returnee from overseas was a cold welcome. Perhaps Enta was just making assumptions and his classmates were merely curious, but the thought alone was enough to pierce the introverted Enta’s heart. [...] I want to play too!––Unable to actually voice that simple phrase, all Enta could do was hug his knees to his chest and watch. He had always been alone when he was overseas too, so he’d never had anyone to play soccer with in the first place.

But the person who reached out a hand to him was Kazuki. And when he told him that he loved soccer but he’d never played before, Kazuki simply replied with a smile that he was just a beginner himself.

“I just know the two of us will become a Golden Duo!” 

Enta, despite being ridiculously impulsive and coming off as outgoing in his interactions, is at heart a timid person who internalized the idea that he'd be rejected for any traits that marked him as an outsider (hello Quintessential Queer Adolescent Experience™). furthermore, he places his self-worth on being Kazuki's soccer buddy, which has the effect of him 1) putting Kazuki on a pedestal as "the one who saved him" and 2) obsessing over the relationship because, to him, it's the only thing that validates his worth as a person. Notice that, in all his fantasies of reforming the Golden Duo, he’s always the one who assists Kazuki to score, but never scores himself. He doesn’t believe he can. After all, until he met Kazuki, nobody wanted to be his friend because he's too different (or so he believes).

(also, regarding his role as Kazuki’s ace assist in his fantasies, i wonder if it’s a commentary on the “helpful queer” archetype? that you’re a “good queer” if you help the protag achieve happiness even at the cost of your own (*cough*tomoyoCCS*cough*), and a “bad queer” if you act on selfish desires or otherwise get in the way? 

i mean judging from western fandom reactions of enta it sure seems there’s something to it)

Seeing his sister being able to pursue the object of her affections so earnestly, without drawing any unwanted attention was just too much for him. Sure, she had failed plenty of times, but even the wounds of failed loves just became fuel in her pursuit of her next one. 

I could never do that.

hey look, more Quintessential Queer Adolescent Experience™! the feeling of irreconcilable differences between you and the other people around you, that it’s impossible for you to experience the world as they do because you’re Just Too Different... 

He felt like he’d start crying if he kept going. That’s why Enta decided to get Kazuki to kill the feelings for him. He held out the silver plate with the good luck band he’d retrieved from Otone on top of it. “I”m in love with you, Kazuki! Please become the Golden Duo with me for the rest of our lives!” Even with his head bowed, he could hear Kazuki gulp. Ahh, this is it. Just reject me and make it a clean cut, please…!

Even in his fantasies, Enta operates on the assumption that he is doomed to fail. While ultimately he’s accepted in the fantasy, it’s telling that it starts with his expectation of rejection from Kazuki. It's unfortunate that just as he’s resolved to move on from his unhealthy crush on Kazuki (it’s actively causing him frustration, not to mention reinforcing his self-esteem issues and impeding his growth—as long as he believes his worth comes from his connection with Kazuki, he’s trapped in a self-perpetuating cycle of isolation), Haruka unwittingly reignites his hope and spurs him on. That's the thing about wants: even if you know it's hopeless, even if you know it's better for you if you move on, it's hard to resist.

Unable to express his desires that would mark him as an outsider again, but also unable to entirely give them up, Enta puts on a sweet supportive public face (the “helpful good queer”) and hides his resentment until the breaking point. yes, Enta is selfish and Enta is a coward, but a lot of things seem like the end of the world when you’re a queer closeted teenager. nobody is denying he did many things wrong, but it’s cold to see people saying he deserved to get fatally shot when he’s already getting character development and trying to repent for his shitty behavior to Toi in the same episode. also really tired of characters with marginalized identities being held to ideologically pure standards (that, or be sexy and thus consumable).

are his actions selfish? YES. the show clearly shows him in the wrong, and that he should atone for his actions. is he, as some vocal detractors claim, worse than the adult who kidnapped a child and shot a teen with the intent to kill? worse than the teen who helped his brother torture a guy in order to feel close to him? worse than the teen who stole a beloved housecat from its home so that it could be a neighborhood stray for his little brother to dote on, while being emotionally distant to said little brother the whole time? lmao what

I really hope Enta isn’t permadead especially with 3 more episodes in the series, and that he has the chance to learn how to cope with these emotions in a healthy way, but it’s Ikuhara so who knows lmao

[sexyupsidedownpineapple]

Popping Our Cherry

Hey there :) 

To maintain absolute discretion, every name and location you read on my blog has been changed. But I can assure you.. every story is 100% real.

Before I delve in to the incredibly amazing and sexy experience that my husband and I had our first time at a local sex club, I think it's important that I give a little back story, and how we got in to this lifestyle in the first place.

So hi! I am your very typical suburban Mom. Mid 30's, two kids, golden retriever, we even have a fucking white picket fence. Totally, unabashedly, suburban. But only at the surface. 

You see, I grew up in a very conservative household. Which is odd really, because my parents we're quintessential hippies. I've seen the photographic evidence! Him with this long ponytail and 70's mustache, her in a scantily clad bikini top with bell bottoms. They grew up in a time of free love and promiscuity. So why the fuck didn't they teach me anything about sex. 

Now I don't mean that in a perverted, call CPS kind of way. When I was 9, I asked my Mom where babies came from. She mumbled something imperceptible and told me "We don't talk about those types of things sweetie"  and that was the first and last time we SPOKE about sex. A few days later I found a library book on my bed entitled "The Birds and the Bee's". And that folks.. was my sex education. Fucking pitiful. Fast forward 20 some years and I was an insecure woman who had trouble talking about sex. So fucking pitiful!

So let's head back to present time. I am 36, I have been married to the most incredible guy for 14 years. We have two beautiful children, a gorgeous house, and an amazing life. We are rock. fucking. solid. And I mean it, we've been through some shit in our marriage and we are still standing here on the other side, madly in love. I consciously make the choice to spend my life with him everyday, and he chooses me too. I could not ask for a better partner! 

One night, after a few too many glasses of wine. I confessed a secret I had been holding on to for a very very VERY long time. I was attracted to other females and I wanted to have a threesome. I swear..I thought he was going to fall off the bed! But.. to my utter surprise.. he was receptive to it. Hell, he was on board! And so the hunt began..

So, being in between the millennial and Gen X generations, whenever I have a question, I turn to the one true almighty, all knowing, entity.... Google. I quickly learned that finding a "unicorn" (single female, seeking a couple to play with) truly is a mythical thing! So, I found a few swingers blogs and articles. They all had one thing in common... if you want to get in to the swingers lifestyle.. start with a local swingers club. Now, I live in the midwest, in a red state.. surely there are no clubs like that close to where I live... right? Oh so wrong! I found SO MUCH INFORMATION! It was very overwhelming! 

After a fair amount of research and reading I found a local swingers/sex club and made a profile. To my surprise we generated a good amount of "likes" and "wants to meet" in those first few days. It boosted my confidence like you would not believe. I was still rocking my post baby bod (my baby is 5 years old, by the way!) So I hadn't been feeling particularly sexy or attractive in the last few years. Though my husband is always very complimentary, I ever felt very confident in my body. My once size 2 waist was now a size 8-10. So the validation felt good. We started chatting with couples and made plans to attend our first event at the club. 

Now the juicy stuff...

So what was the club like? So fucking hot! Since it was our first time we got a guided tour of the club. There was a bar, and dance area. An area with a pool table, and an outside patio. Typical club right?  Oh, except for the 10 private play rooms, glory holes, sex swings, and the BDSM room. Holy shit. This was going to be an EPIC night!

So we spent a fair amount of time in the bar area and outside. It was a gorgeous September night. Slight chill in the air. Just enough to make my nipples stand erect under my thin slinky white dress. We spent the evening sipping on our drinks and making conversation with our new friends. Eventually we ventured inside and to the dance floor. Drinks still flowed and we were all dancing and grinding on each other. We had arrived at the club with a couple we met on the site, Jen and Adam. They were so incredibly nice, answered all of our questions, and made us feel very welcome. Jen was gorgeous, small waist, gorgeous hips, and huge tits. Her boyfriend, Adam, super sexy. Shaved head (just like my hubby!) and just the right amount of confidence. We also met Shelly and Micah, a super fun couple! She had a commanding presence and was instantly the center of attention, and he was the strong silent type with a witty sense of humor. So we were all dancing and having a good time, when we saw another couple we had been chatting with standing by the bar. James and Anna. Anna has a gorgeous body and beautiful blonde hair, and James was really attractive and confident. They joined us and we had a blast on the dance floor! Eventually we all needed a break and some fresh air, so we decided to head to the patio. Now, to get to the patio.. you have to walk through the private room area. By now, the party had been going on for several hours.. so the rooms had lots of interesting things going on. 

As we proceeded down the hallway James and Anna stopped outside a room to watch what was happening inside. As I went to pass by, Anna slipped her arm around my waist to stop me. So I paused and turned to face the doorway where the "show" was happening. There were 4 people in the room. The BDSM room. One woman was strapped to giant X, while another woman played with her body.  Her hands were everywhere, on her breasts, on her waist, on her pussy. Then, she slid the thin fabric that could barely qualify as lingerie over to the side and began to lick. Anna's hands began to move over my body. My hips, my stomach, my ass.. It was so fucking hot to watch, and be touched by another woman. Before this point, I had never done anything more than a small kiss (once) with another female (a dare in the 11th grade) So I was in completely new territory!

Eventually we moved on down the hall and came to a stop outside an empty room. We all wanted to go in, but hesitated. We stood in the hallway talking and flirting and laughing for some time, before we all eventually entered the room. This is the first time I felt some nerves kick in. So as we all stood around the room, no one really making the first move. Anna looked at me and said "I guess it's time to sacrifice the virgin." I thought my pussy was going to burst in to flames. I was very ready. Shelly then came over to me and led me over to the bed. I gently laid down. She asked me "are you ok with this" I suppressed the urge to blurt out "fuck yeah!" and instead went for a gentle head nod and seductive smile. Shelly started kissing me. Very gently, with her hands on my face and neck. She then moved her hands and mouth to my chest, to my stomach, and then eventually.. down further. She gently pushed my white lacy thong to the side and licked my pussy from bottom to top. I let out a soft moan. she continued to lick and caress my pussy, so gently. Just then, Adam slid over and gently pulled the top of my dress down. He took my right breast in his hands and and sucked on my nipple. Then, he kissed me and reached down with his hand and slipped a finger in my very wet pussy, while Shelly flicked her tongue back and forth over my clit. I looked up to see Anna standing in front of James against the wall, he was fondling her breasts and they were both watching me. I smiled at her and she made her way over to the bed to attend to my left breast. Sucking, and licking, and squeezing. She moved her face up and kissed me, massaging my tongue with hers. She was a good fucking kisser. I moved my hand though the tangle of bodies to find her breasts. I gently squeezed them and her mouth was back at my chest. She also reached down to fondle my pussy. I was on fire. Anna then moved back to James, and they started making out against the wall. My husband moved in to take over just as Shelly made me come for the second time. It was euphoric. 

Then it was Anna's turn. Shelly went down on her as she sucked James's cock. Once Shelly had made her come, James flipped her around and fucked her doggy style. Adam came over to fondle her breasts. She came again, and James finished inside her. It was the hottest thing I have ever seen. Once we were all done we got dressed said goodbye to our new friends and rode the sex high back home. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I can't wait to go back and see what happens next time. 

Until next time.

XOXO,

Mrs. Pineapple

[thelonelybrilliance]

a primer on loving Bucky Barnes (if you don’t already)

LET ME JUST TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE THE FOUR MOMENTS THAT DEFINE BUCKY'S CHARACTER TO ME: in TFA, he rescues Steve from bullies and it's clear that he's been there for Steve all their lives. He looks like the quintessential pretty boy but it's more than that, he's not a rogue or a reckless guy, that's ALL STEVE, the scrawny little misfit. Bucky is just...a heart of gold. He's the golden retriever, just out for a fun time. 

BUT. He basks in Steve's light. Steve always thought it was the other way around but it's NOT. And that's epitomized by Moment 2, when Bucky says "I'm following that guy"--the scrawny guy from Brooklyn, not just Captain America.

Bucky (and Peggy) are the only people, long-term, who appreciated Steve before he ever had a shot at being the world's hero. And Bucky knew him most of all. Bucky was his friend and comrade (#ButIKnewHim #Feels) and Bucky isn't all alpha-male-threatened when Steve rises to stardom! This whole time we're supposed to think that Steve is idolizing Bucky--and he DOES--but Bucky NEVER takes advantage of that! He's not out to be anyone's hero. He's just a good solid guy who admired the light beside him even when nobody else could see that!

TWS is a WHOLE IMPORTANT MOMENT IN ITSELF, but it's one you can only appreciate by appreciating Bucky as HIMSELF, which is not very much of TWS because of, you know, plot. 

So the other two important moments come in Civil War and Infinity War. In Civil War, when Steve and Bucky are flying to the Winter Soldier headquarters, Steve tries to reassure him that all the terrible acts the Winter Solider committed weren't Bucky. "It wasn't you," Steve says. And Bucky answers, numb and soft and almost child-like, "I know. But I did it." Bucky didn't want to be America's hero. He didn't want to be anyone's supersoldier. He was just a guy. And fate took him and tore him apart and rebuilt a monster that fought at a level he never even contemplated.

Steve is trying to reassure Bucky that he is still Steve's hero, unsullied. But Bucky doesn't even understand how he got here, how it was HIM that was chosen.

Steve in Civil War and Infinity War is so obviously comforted by Bucky's presence. It's like a rock to him. Even though Steve is this huge hunk of a dude, you can sense this "we're bros he's here he's here" and yeah, in a way, we as the audience are thrust into this questioning role. Like...why this guy? Why does CAPTAIN FREAKING AMERICA need HIM? And that's exactly it. 

Bucky is The One(TM) because their friendship goes back so far to a time when Steve DID need Bucky, in his own heart, and Bucky was there for him, even though Bucky never pretended to be Steve's equal. And it all comes crashing down in the last moment of Infinity War: when Bucky says, in this tone of confusion and fear, "Steve?" and fades.

And then Steve--who let Bucky go when he fell from the train, and didn't rescue him in time to keep him from becoming the Winter Soldier, and couldn't untangle the knots of seventy years of war crimes to keep the Avengers connected, has to crumple to the ground and realize that he was supposed to save BUCKY, not the other way around. 

Like always, he realizes it just too late.

[floraexplorer]

Seven Ways to See Stirlingshire in Scotland (With a Dog)

Guys, this is Ernie.

He’s a seven year old white-haired golden doodle (a retriever crossed with a poodle, in case you didn’t know). He’s huge, fluffy, insanely friendly, and a lot of the time he lives in Scotland.

Those of you following me on Instagram might have seen this adorable creature on my Stories from time to time. He’s been in London occasionally, racing around wide open parks in the East end, and he’s appeared in the horse box during a music tour with a Chilean band (when there definitely wasn’t quite enough room for him).

But the last time I went to visit Ernie, we spent a week exploring Stirlingshire.

Welcome to a beautiful part of Scotland

Although I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Scotland over the years, it’s usually been relegated to major cities like Edinburgh and Glasgow.

Stirlingshire, nestled between the lowlands and highlands of Scotland, is a new part of the country for me. It’s probably most famous for the imposing Stirling Castle, which sits at the summit of a flat-topped hill and can be seen through car windscreens for miles around, but it’s equally well known for sites like the National Wallace Monument, the Battle of Bannockburn’s battlefield, and the stunning Dunblane Cathedral.

Stirling Castle looking beautiful

But I wasn’t really in Stirlingshire to see the official tourist attractions. Instead, we were off adventuring – by which I mean piling into a converted van and turning our wheels towards the lochs and the rolling hills; towards open farmland, estate houses owned by lords and ladies, and picking our way through abandoned buildings.

And Ernie the dog was leading the way throughout.

A small aside about me and dogs 

I’ve always thought I wasn’t a dog person. Historically, that’s true enough: when growing up I registered the childhood animosity between those who loved dogs versus those who loved cats, and seeing as I was besotted with my family’s cat, it felt obvious that dogs and I would never get on.

When I travelled to India in 2012 however, something changed. I watched my dog-loving friend Bianca patiently stroke and care for the poor strays trotting around the street who clearly idolised her for it – and something suddenly slotted into place.

I realised that dogs are awesome.

Ernie dancing with a friend at a music festival. He’s the size of a small human.

Before I began spending time with Ernie, of course, I’d never realised how much dog ownership impacts your life. Asking London pubs about their dog policies and Googling what types of London transport will allow dogs on board is an entirely new avenue for me – and the resulting answers can definitely change how you travel.

Luckily it seems like the majority of Scotland is dog friendly, to the extent that cafe owners and pub landlords get over-excited when they spot this giant dog lolloping towards them. Every place we visited in Stirling had their own unique reception for Ernie – like these seven spots!

1. Boating across the Lake of Menteith

Our first excursion into the sights and sounds of Stirlingshire was riding a little boat to Inchmahome Priory, an old set of ruins which sit in the middle of the Lake of Menteith.

Apparently, the Lake of Meneith is the only lake in Scotland!… Except nobody seems willing to explain quite why it’s known as a ‘lake’ (the English word) instead of a ‘loch’ (the Scottish word). This site tries to explain, but I’m still confused.

For us, it was enough to soak up the sunshine and watch Ernie gallavanting around the tall grass, occasionally disturbing couples having romantic moments on photogenic benches.

2. Lunch at Mhor 84

Ernie practically dragged me in through the door of Mhor 84, a hotel and restaurant which used to be an unassuming roadside inn but after a compete overhaul now serves up one of the best Full English breakfasts I’ve honestly ever tasted.

Ernie was in heaven – first by making friends with all the dogs behind the bar and their owners too, and then by trying his damnedest to look adorable enough for a slice of sausage.

I’m pretty sure he got some with that face.

3. Wandering the little town of Callander

Close to the entrance of the Trossachs National Park, Callander feels like a quintessentially Scottish town. Wherever I looked I saw signs for tartan, butcher windows filled with haggis, and sweetshops selling Scottish tablet.

We also picked a pretty stunning day to visit.

Ernie’s escapades took us past a river filled with very tempting ducks and up a flight of hillside steps, before heading straight down again into Callander’s high street.

Ernie even managed to make friends with a dog who looked extremely similar to him – and as they happened to meet outside a whisky shop, there was every reason to quickly pop in and try a few wee drams.

It would have been rude not to.

4. Discovering Rob Roy’s grave

Close to Callander, and just outside the tiny village of Balquidder, I spotted a little churchyard and a sign for Rob Roy’s grave.

After we let Ernie go bounding through the churchyard in the drizzling grey rain, we stood at the graveside of this famous Scottish outlaw and folk hero, looking at the pennies and scraps of ribbon which had been left by visitors and wellwishers.

5. Exploring an abandoned old hotel

Eventually we got off the beaten track and let Ernie’s doggy senses guide us. Close to the end of a forest-lined loch we spotted an abandoned hotel, all gaping floors and broken rafters, and couldn’t help ourselves.

We snuck through an open window, vaguely attempted instructing Ernie not to follow, and then realised how redundant that idea was.

(Let’s just say there’s a lot more I want to write about this house and what we learned inside it… So I’ll leave that story for another day.)

6. Playing fetch in a loch

Down by the loch itself, we tried improving Ernie’s swimming capabilities by throwing sticks for him to fetch.

And this is where one of my favourite qualities about Ernie comes to the fore: no matter where he is, he always seems to utterly commit to enjoying himself.

7. Setting up a music festival

It’s a similar situation at one of Ernie’s regular hangouts in Stirlingshire: the Cardross Estate, a beautiful house set on working farmland where a music festival named ‘Doune the Rabbit Hole’ takes place each August.

‘Doune the Rabbit Hole’ has been running for the past eight years (although this is the first year I’ll be attending!), and it’s now grown to the point where preparations are usually always happening around the site.

Buy tickets for ‘Doune the Rabbit Hole’ festival here!

As far as Ernie’s concerned, it means lots of dog lovers to stroke him, lots of dog friends to hang out with, and plenty of happily grazing sheep which he can casually edge a little too close to and be sternly commanded back again.

For me, it was a chance to see the world through his eyes: how he immediately socialises with everyone he possibly can, being insatiably happy and enjoying life in the absolute present moment.

Seeing the world through a dog’s eyes

Each morning, Ernie’s awake and out the door with boundless energy, and each night after a day of exploration he curls up happily to sleep near the humans he loves.

He dares to do things he’s unsure of – swimming in lochs, exploring abandoned buildings, even sitting underneath tables with bacon on – because the people he listens to say it’s a good idea. Some of those experiences might make him stronger.

Problems and difficulty don’t last long for Ernie, either. In fact, the only time I’ve ever seen him unhappy was when another dog took over his rightful place in the van’s driving seat.

Have you ever seen a more mournful face?

I’m dealing with a lot at the moment. Things are getting serious again, and I’m trying my absolute best to take each day as it comes. I’m thinking about life a bit more like Ernie undoubtedly does: stoically dealing with difficulties whenever they appear, but always seeing the positives as their bright, shining selves.

And there’s no doubt I’ll be back in Scotland again soon –  I haven’t even made it into the city of Stirling to explore yet. I’ll have to ask Ernie to show me around next time.

Have you ever explored a new country with a dog? Do you have any more travel tips for Stirlingshire or Scotland?

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