#he hears the lyric ‘but I ain’t done a fuckin thing to you’ and is like ‘WOW that’s so ME’

[chipgan]

Chip listening to the main character by w*ll wood and being like “wow….this song is so me”

[nex-thegrimreaper]

Oh Baby, do you wanna dance? —————-☆—

warnings and all that jazz- Mention of reader being smaller than hobie, fluffy domestic type shit to SMUT, hobie is a little flirt, reader is on birth control, still wrap it before you tap it, creampie, begging (from reader) i didn’t proofread

TILL THE FUCKIN BOAT SHAKES IM OBSESSED

Coming out of the shower on hobie’s canal boat you could hear the vinyl he was playing while he meticulously fiddled with the screwback studs on his jacket, from the soft, distant hum of the music you could tell it was the Ramones, louder than the music you could hear hobie mumbling lyrics here and there

by the time you get to Hobie’s (?) room you realized you didn’t have any of your large shirts to wear to sleep, you browse through Hobie’s side of the closet, his large black Ramones t-shirt catching your eyes, the kind of thing he would let you wear, just to see you in it

when you slip on Hobie’s shirt it does a decent enough job of covering your panties, the smell of his cologne engulfing you, you revel in that for a moment before padding out to the living room, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend from behind, he softly lays his head on you “hello darling” he speaks in his thick british accent, his eyes not leaving his jacket

“hello my love” you say softly, snuggling your head into his shoulder “your jacket coming along?” he pauses briefly to shift his head around, looking at it throughly, like an artist giving the canvas a second look “yeah, i think it’s looking good” he says, shifting his head to look over at you, slowly looking you up and down, a specific glint in his eyes “my Ramones shirt aye?”he says his british accent thicker than usual, he can feel you softly nod, he breathes deeply

“fuck, so much for my jacket..” he says, his voice deeper than before, he shifts around, grabbing your waist, whispering in your ear “i was going to do this after i was done, just so you know” he picks you up, wrapping his arms around you and waking to the bedroom, softly laying you on the bed, giving you a smirk, presumably directed toward the deer in headlights look on your face

it didn’t take you long to gingerly spread your legs for your boyfriend, revealing the lacy red panties you wore, and you gave him the cutest bedroom eyes you could pull off, “quite the pretty little ting ain’t you?” hobie says, slipping off his shirt, you look at him innocently and he smirks

“don’ go pretending you didn’t want this, putting on that shirt…coming over there and distracting me..” he clicks his tongue, removing his belts and undoing his jeans, the outline of his thick cock poking through his boxers “how you gonna make up for that huh doll?” “by letting you have your way with me, in your t-shirt, to the ramones?” he smirks “ain’t you the clever one…”

he pushes your panties to the side, grabbing your hip underneath his shirt and taking out his cock with the other, already leaking pre-cum he lines himself up with your entrance, pushing into you quickly, barely giving you time to adjust before he begins to pound into you, his other hand on your waist, as you moan out he looks at you with a smirk on his face, letting out moans of his own as you tighten around him

“h..hobie fuck~” you moan out, and this only seems to spur him on more, his thrusts speeding up, practically fucking you dumb “good girl, taking….takin’ my cock s’ good” he speaks practically into your ear, he kisses your neck as he continues to fuck you roughly, pressed so close to you that you can feel his heartbeat before he pulls back, reaching one of his hands down to softly rub your clit, looking you up and down like a steak

the passion is painted in his soul before he softly grins, showing his canines, his look going slightly dark as you whimper beneath him, trying oh so very hard to keep eye contact with him, he sharply inhales before pounding into rougher making your eyes “look at me doll” he says, you look at his face, his gorgeous body, then you look at the way his dick enters and exits your cunt, a ring of your mixed juices forming at his base “good fuckin’ pussy aye?” he slams into you

“your gettin’ hot baby..” you moan at his words knowing what he’s implying “shit, im close myself..” he grips your hips nearly bruisingly as you grip the sheets “Cum for me, Y/n” he says biting his lip as he takes in the view, watching your legs spasm and your eyes roll back, watching you cum hard, still wearing his t-shirt “yeah, good girl” he says, changing pace to chase his own orgasm after you finish yours, asking you where

it’s not very long before Hobie buries himself deep inside of you, hot ropes of his cum filling you, Hobie’s gorgeous moans filling your ears as do your own, slowly he pulls out of you, leaving you with the sensation of being stretched and filled with cum

“you did such a good job baby” he says softly before leaving and returning with a wet towel cleaning the two of you up as his cum drops out of you, he discards of the towel before kissing your cheek and laying in bed, you lay next to him and he wraps his arms around you “your a damn good distraction..” he says and you softly smile against him, the two of you fall asleep not long after, you wake up to him out of bed and working on his jacket, because of course he would.

pls “good girl” with his britishness kill me also he would be like a toddler if you were mad i love him

[wyattvsmusic]

Freddie Gibbs - $oul $old $eparately ALBUM REVIEW

At the end of his 2019 song Education, Freddie Gibbs raps “I changed it up, pray the streets don’t take what’s left of me / Drugs for the free, soul sold separately.” Though we didn’t know it at the time, this lyric from his 2019 collab album with Madlib, Bandana set fans up for what was to come 3 years later. His latest album is actually only his 5th solo album and is the first album of his to not be entirely produced by a single producer since 2018′s Freddie album. Early on, the album was supposed to feature Pharrell production, which is actually nowhere to be heard on $$$. There is an assortment of producers on the album, including ones he has done entire albums with such as Madlib and The Alchemist but Jake One, James Blake, DJ Dahi, JUSTICE League, DJ Paul, Kaytranada and others contribute as well. Though none of them appear on it, $$$ sounds very much in line with the batch of loose singles that were released the year prior (Gang Signs, Black Illuminati, Big Boss Rabbit, Ice Cream). There’s a lot more trap influence from previous albums like Freddie, You Only Live 2wice and Shadow Of A Doubt where Freddie gets into his braggadocios rap style but also reflects in some of those songs too. For those expecting Alfredo or Pinata, you are going to be disappointed as Freddie’s style is much more expansive even though that may be what you prefer from him. Despite what the style is, the bars are still there and he shows that he has one of the best flows in hip hop, which is perfectly exemplified in the bouncy Too Much with Moneybagg Yo where Freddie raps as if he doesn’t need to take a breath. I’ve said this in other reviews of mine before, but I feel like when an artist has put out a lot of albums that sound very distinct from each other, they end up putting one out that sounds like a combination of all of them and I think this one is Freddie’s. You can hear the Alfredo style on the Alchemist-produced Blackest In The Room and the Bandana sound on Grandma’s Stove. The very catchy PYS could’ve fit very comfortably on Shadow Of A Doubt. Lyrically, Freddie is always on point but the best songs on this album are the ones where Freddie gets introspective and shows some personal growth. On the incredible CIA, Freddie raps “Remember them nights when I was broke, I cried on Erica's shoulder and now my tears frozen / Man, I'm just bein' open / When I made ‘Fuckin' Up the Count,’ ain't had no Audemars yet, I was rappin' and hopin'.” On this song, he also reflects on making the XXL Freshman cover when he was still in the streets and about how he wasn’t expecting to get a Grammy nomination for Alfredo. Rabbit Vision is another one of my favorite songs on the album as he finally makes peace with Jeezy, who was one of the earliest rappers to give Freddie a major look and eventually signed him but they fell out many years ago. Since he made the one of the greatest diss tracks of all time, Real, which was aimed towards Jeezy in 2014, he had continued to take shots at him including on Crime Pays so this is definitely a big step and it is great to see Freddie and Jeezy finally make peace. He raps, “Me and Jeezy still ain't spoke in years, but I got love for him / Could've talked it out, but I spoke out, I let it get to me / Showed me I could be a fuckin' boss, best thing he did for me.” The production is pretty great and he’s gotten some good reliable features. that he’s worked with like Rick Ross, Anderson .Paak, Pusha T, and Scarface who Freddie always brings the best out of. Raekwon, Offset, and Musiq Soulchild also contribute some pretty great features as well. While $oul $old $eparately isn’t even close to touching some of his best albums, it is a great album on its own and shows just how far Freddie has come and that he can really do anything.

Fav Tracks: Couldn’t Be Done, Blackest In The Room, Zipper Bagz, Too Much, Rabbit Vision, PYS, CIA, Decoded

[7spaceace7]

Secrets (A Donatello x Reader)

This is incredibly self-indulgent and was really just a fic for me to obsess over tesla coils, but my girlfriend convinced me to post it- so here it is! It got kind of long too, but I hope you enjoy! 

Word Count: 3236

Reader is given feminine terms in this one

Mild cursing (thank you Raph)

Absolute fluff attack, the sweetness will rot your teeth

Singing was your greatest passion. From a young age, you had been roped into music, the emotions it could represent with just a few notes and some relatable lyrics. It was happiness, it was sadness, it was anger and excitement, and it was everything you couldn’t express well enough with just words. Being a writer, sometimes that would get frustrating, but music helped you overcome the most challenging spots in a new piece or story. This is why you would constantly have earbuds in as you sang along to every song you’d memorized on your Spotify shuffle. 

And Donnie noticed this. Every time you would enter the turtles’ lair, he would see you unplug and pack-up your headphones. Hell, he was even able to detect your singing from the sounds of the sewer tunnels echoing with every step you took closer. He’d hear you talk about the music or soundtracks of your favorite games and movies, analyzing what every slight twinge or reprise would allude to. And he loved every part of it. He loved getting to see those moments where music was all you could focus on. Your heart rate rose exponentially in anticipation and excitement. Your eyes would screw shut while you broke into a grin. Your hands would mimic motions to the beat as you played on invisible drums, or strummed a nonexistent guitar. 

It was adorable to him, to say the least. But he never told you so. He never said a word, in case this might scare you off for coming across as “creepy” or weird. He knew most people probably didn’t pay this close attention to little things like that, but then again, he also knew that most people weren’t madly in love with you. 

Which Donatello was. 

He couldn’t tell you, because once he started rambling about you, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop. And if he didn’t stop, then he’d run the 89.07% chance risk of telling you how he’d been in love with you since the day they met you. That was way too high for him to be comfortable. No, he couldn’t tell you, no matter how badly he wanted you to know.

“Okay, so what if you just show ‘er you’re interested instead?” Raph asked, half paying attention to his brother’s predicament, half pounding the punching bag before him into the ground. Leo was in the dojo meditating, and Mikey was playing video games in the living room, which left the two middle brothers to their own devices. For Donnie, this was literally. His three-fingered hands fiddled with his latest electrical circuit. It was bound for sending the right amount of voltage into his inventions without needing four power strips and a generator all on their own. Unfortunately, he was too distracted to actually delve into its components, and settled for breaking and piecing it back together again.

“Show her? How would I do that?” Donnie’s voice trembled at the thought.

“I dunno, you’re the genius here,” Raph huffed, “There’s gotta be somethin’ in this place that you think she’d find cool. She loves music, right?”

“Yeah, like a lot, she even-”

“Rhetorical question, Don, heard the rant plenty,” His brother cut him off. Pausing his violent onslaught of the dummy, he turned to face him. “You’re nervous ‘cause you ain’t ever done somethin’ for a pretty girl before, I get it. So do somethin’ you know you’re good at. That’ll take the nerves off, your plan works, and then I won’ have to listen to you babbling about whatever new fuckin’ thing she did today. Win win.”

The younger turtle paused. “That was...actually pretty sound advice, thank you, Raph.”

“Anytime,” Raph nodded, a smug smile tugging at his lips from being able to help. Problem was, now he was invested. He’d listened to his brother’s rants and rambles and failed plans of possibly confessing for weeks now, what was gonna happen once he finally did it? Raph plopped onto one of Donnie’s bean bag chairs. He didn’t bother to pick up the training dummy. “So what ya gonna do, smart guy?”

Donnie blinked a few times, glasses twitching on his nose as he pushed them up. He didn’t know it, but you coined this his “brainstorming face”. He fiddled with the circuits once again.

“Uh...I’m not sure,” His tongue went dry. A million ideas fly through his brain each minute, and this decides to be the time that he can’t think of a single one good enough. Figures. “I could build her something? Maybe a new stereo, or upgrade the one she has.”

Raph made a noise of disapproval. “You can do better, any old fix-it guy could do that.”

“Fair. Maybe I could- ow!”

A short buzz of the air cut him off as his fiddling paid off. To the world’s great irony, a light bulb several inches away lit up.

“You good?”

“Yeah, I’m good, I…” Donnie trailed off. The purple-clad turtle’s eyes widened as he registered what happened. “I’m better than good, I just had an epiphany!”

“Epipha-what?”

“An epiphany, sudden realization, an idea!” Donnie flicked his goggles back down, enhancing his vision with the magnifier on it. Wires were tugged in and out, and a transmitter was displaced. With a snort of triumph, he raised it to the air for his brother to see. “This is the answer!” 

“A tiny board thing. Just what she’s always wanted,” Raph rolled his eyes, but Donnie was prepared for this.

“Not just a tiny board, a tiny board with this!-” With great haste, Donnie was next to Raph, holding the board out properly. “My side-side project, this little thing, look at the coil here, this is it! This is a tesla coil, capable of transmitting thousands and thousands of volts of energy surging through the air, powering anything within its radius, which is perfect and exactly why I needed to reconfigure it to power my lab and this one new machine I’m working on, but that’s not why this is the perfect idea!”

“Wow, please continue, professor, I’m dyin’ to know.”

“Glad you asked! Watch this!” One aux cord, T-Phone connection, and light-dimming later, the lab went dark in anticipation. And suddenly, with the press of a play button on Donnie’s shuffle, music started to fill the air. But it wasn’t coming from his phone. It was coming from the coils, surging and creating not only electric energy that was visible to the human eye as it sparked, but music. Sound. The beats and notes of the song playing sprouted out in the form of electricity.

Raph’s green eyes became transfixed on the sparks flying out. “Holy shit.”

“Holy shit is right!” Came the squeals of utter nerding out, “This is only a tabletop version of an SGTC circuit, my own type of it anyway based on Tesla’s original designs, but if I reworked it, made it bigger, made it lifelike and maybe four or five of them, I could create the most advanced musical performance this city has ever seen!”

“I’m gonna pretend I know everything you just said because clearly this is your nerd thing,” Raph started, utterly confused. Even still, a reassuring smile framed his features. “But this looks pretty damn cool. This right here? Exactly what ‘m sayin’, Don.  This is you.”

“Do you think she’ll like it...?” Donnie asked in a hopeful voice. He wasn’t just asking about the invention. 

“Course she will.”

~x~

A couple weeks had passed since that fateful conversation with Raph. He’d been in and out of the lab since then, but between patrols and the mandatory bathroom breaks, there was hardly a time he wasn’t working on his great new project. You weren’t even allowed to go into the lab, per his request, for all his time there.

However, he always made sure to make at least one movie whenever you’d come hang out at the lair from work.

Finally, one Friday night, the set up was complete. Pride swelled in Donnie’s chest as he looked at his creation: six symmetrically placed tesla coils sprung up from the ground and walls all around his lab space. The coilings wrapped around metal frames, spiraling into a beautiful arrangement of engineering, if he did say so himself. Mikey said it looked like the lasers out of a DC comic, which was also not a bad thing to be. He just hoped that you would like it. All of it was for you, of course, but over the weeks that he’d been preparing it, he found more beauty in the music of tesla coils than he ever had appreciated before. 

Donnie thought he might thank you for that, if he could get his nerves around it.

God, he was so nervous. Anxiety rushed through his body like the electric pulses he was perfecting. They were already done, but it was all he could do to distract himself while waiting for you to arrive. Maybe the frequencies weren’t in the right key. What if they sounded better this way? Or maybe the firing power wasn’t enough? Trajectory looked alright, maybe it just-

“Donnie?”

“Gh! Y/N, hey!” Stammered the surprised terrapin after knocking his head against the top of a coil. His goggles were on the setting of night-vision, but that didn’t account for night-spatial-awareness, it seemed.

“I got your text to come,” You tried to smile at him, but the dark laboratory proved to make that difficult. “How come it’s so dark in here?”

“Uh, well, that’s p-part of the surprise! Eheh. Gimme just a second-”

You waited patiently outside of his lab, vision still applicable, but grew concerned the more strange noises and clangs you heard coming from inside. This was definitely a whole new level of “Donnie Surprises” just by how nervous he seemed about it.

You yelped when his hand grabbed your arm and dragged you back inside the darkness.

“Okay, uh,” He started, before clapping his hands together for the lights to switch back on, “This is what I wanted to show you.”

Your gaze spun all around the lab. After adjusting to the light, you could clearly see giant mechanism after mechanism placed strategically around in a dome-like setup. Coils that protruded like round-edged spikes circled you both, and in the center was a metal cage. 

“Oh my god…” You almost whispered. A large grin broke out onto your face as you stared in quiet marvel at the scene. His plan was working, and Donnie lit up with an outstretched arm in presentation.

“These bad boys are called tesla coils-”

“Tesla coils!” You squealed in imperfect unison to what you assumed was the start of an explanation. “You made tesla coils, Donnie, holy shit!”

“You’ve heard of them?!” Donnie exclaimed, eyes widening behind his glasses.

“YES!” Your hands began to wave around excitedly, “Oh my god I used to be OBSESSED with these things! I heard about when I was a kid from that old movie, oh what was it, it was like the apprentice’s-”

“Sorcerer’s Apprentice!”

“THAT! Yes!” 

“I haven’t seen that movie in years!”

“Me neither! All I remember is that Hiccup’s voice actor totally nerded out and programmed his giant tesla coils to play music for the girl he wanted to impress, and it was the coolest thing because these giant machines were playing music, music out of nothing but sparks of electricity at different frequencies, which to be honest probably would have caused more of an energy problem than the movie suggested because goddamn do they take up a lot of power, but I was like six and didn’t care!” You laughed  in an energetic burst of word association, practically bouncing on the balls of your feet.

Donnie could have kissed you then and there for that alone. 

A grin crept onto his lips as he watched you ramble on about the movie, leaving all anxious thoughts to fall from his mind. For once, someone actually understood one of his passions. Better than that, she was explaining the process to him of all people! Sure, she was intuitive enough to know he didn’t need it, he literally had just built them after all. This was just out of pure excitement. Someone in his life was talking about science and technology like they were the most fascinating things on the planet, just as the purple-masked turtle believed it was. Well, second only to the ecstatic girl in front of him. 

“-And so, I randomly remembered it again not that long ago, so I looked it up and found so many videos on YouTube about it. I kid you not, I listened to tesla coils and tesla coils alone for a solid week.” 

You breathed heavily, a little winded after such an intense info-dump. God, he always loved when you got excited about something. 

“This is kind of surreal,” Donnie chuckled a bit, pushing up his glasses when they tumbled down his nose, “I had no idea you’d get what these were, much less have known so much about them.” Donnie’s eyes widened at his own panicked-fueled blabbering. “N-Not that I think you’re stupid! I just-- I mean it’s not-- common? It’s more of-”

“A niche interest, yeah. No worries,” You finished for him, signaling his stuttered words hadn’t fallen on offended ears. Donnie quietly sighed in relief. Time ticked by in seconds, but even that was much too fast for this martial artist to grasp. If he could have constructed a device to pause the fabrics of time, he would have long ago, simply to relish the moments with you that meant everything to him. It wasn’t your fault your eyes captivated him more than any element he’s worked with.

“So,” You began eagerly, startling him out of his thoughts, “Are we gonna listen to some zappy poles go brrr or what?”

Donnie snorted at your juvenile word choice. “Yeah, totally. Now, ah,” He walked over toward the large cage in the center, stepped inside, then poked his head out with a dorky grin. A large, green hand stood outstretched towards you. “I think you’d better step inside my cage.”

“If you keep quoting the damn movie like this, I am going to explode from excitement, and it will be your fault!” It was a wonder how you hadn’t caught onto his plan yet, honestly. You made no sense of hesitation before grabbing his offered hand (even though your hands were small enough that they hardly matched his palm’s size), and clambered into the cage in front of him. This was a great excuse for you to be close to him without it being weird. And now, with your back brushing up against his plastron, the butterflies in his chest told him it was totally a good call.

Donatello would take this secret to his grave, however.

“Put your hands on the rail here, yep just like that,” Donnie nodded after your hands found the safeguard rail. A couple buttons tapped into a laptop later, he settled his own hands next to yours. “Let the magic begin.”

Magic would have been the understatement of the year. A coil in front of you quickly shot out its first spark. Familiar music breached the sound barrier to your ears. The one behind you both caught it instantly. Spark after spark sent back and forth between the coils, soaring through the lab like the most incredible game of electric catch.

“Whoa!” You laughed when the sparks would bounce off the cage itself, pressing closer to the turtle behind you (much to his surprise every time). Your shining e/c eyes never left the electric bolts shooting out. “This is insane!”

“Heh, glad you like it!” Donnie watched you closely that entire time, more entranced by your excitement and wonderstruck self than anything he’d created. He could power up the tesla coils anytime of day, but this was a special moment he’d never be able to recreate in a controlled environment. This was no experiment, this was real and it was happening right now. 

The only thing left to do was tell you how he felt. 

“Y/N, I have to tell you something,” He began, stepping away to give you a bit of space. His heart rate was increasing by the second. The way you turned to look at him wasn’t helping, either. 

“What is it?” You spoke softly, somehow able to be heard over the music. Donnie could hardly meet your eyes, so he took your hands in his instead.

“I...I don’t know how to say this exactly,” He started, “I’ve been trying to do it for months, going over every possible conjuncture of words, something that would be heartfelt and honest, poetic even? But the truth is, words aren’t my thing, th-they never have been. I’m a science guy, I take things apart and put them back together again, I figure out what makes them work, I see life as a million tiny parts to analyze.”

He paused his quickened speech to take a breath. Your hands squeezed his larger ones as an offer to continue.

“And so, I’m...bad at feelings. I see it all as chemicals and components used by the brain to create action and reaction. But now I’m not so sure if that’s all they are, and really the only thing I am sure about is that it’s because of you that I’m questioning everything I ever thought I knew. Maybe, maybe life is more than atoms and chemicals, and instead it’s about..moments. Moments like this. Moments that...that I..that I really want to keep forever and play over and over again.”

“Donnie…” You spoke. This time he squeezed your hands.

“I know I’m rambling and I should really get to the point, so what I’m trying to say is,” He took another breath, steady this time. His gaze met yours again. “I want to live these moments with you every day. You’re special to me. You’re part of our family, but this is more than that, this feeling is-”

“Love.” You finished for him. Both of your eyes widened as you realized the other felt how you each did.  

Donatello nodded slowly, hesitant to be so certain, but knowing it was true. There were no more words to be exchanged after that, only actions, only movements so soft and gentle that the large terrapin was certain he’d break if they could fit in his hands. Your hands left his and instead reached up to grab the long ends of his mask, and tugged gently for him to reach you. He leaned down without a thought. A three-fingered hand found your waist this time. 

You kissed. Soft, human lips connected to his slightly chapped reptilian ones. The turtle had waited for this moment since he realized the attraction he felt towards you was not just powerful chemical reactions, but true feelings. It wasn’t biology, it was chance and fate and one-in-a-million all at once. As the sparks continued to (literally) fly, Donnie let his eyes close. This was the present. He was here, he was holding a great new adventure in his hands, and there was a brilliant future just around the corner. 

The song may have finished, but this is what would last forever. 

[sunmoonandeddie]

i don’t need a roof

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 3,496

summary: Bucky thinks he’s running out of time, and needs to make sure his girl knows she’s taken care.

warnings: Bad words, almost death

a/n:  So this was inspired by this song from Big Fish the Musical.  There are lyrics from the song in the dialogue.  Also, this is the brownstone they were talking about.  Also I’m so sorry if this hurts, but there is a happy ending.

Bucky was cold.  In all the time that you’d known him (three years and four months, actually), he’d never once been cold.  He’d always been your own personal space heater, even before the two of you started dating.

But as you held him in your arms, his head on your chest, you were struck with the fact that he was cold.

The HYDRA agents that were holding you had injected him with something a few days ago, some glowing liquid that made a weight appear in the pit of your stomach.  But you could only watch as they injected it into his bloodstream.  You were too weak to do anything, too weak to protect the love of your life.

When the agent holding you had let you go, letting your kneecaps hit the concrete floor with a thud, you’d rushed to him, holding him as close as you could.

You’d never seen him in so much physical pain.  The super soldier serum was trying it’s best to keep up with whatever he’d been injected with, but it was like it set his blood on fire.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered as you rocked him back and forth, your head resting on top of his.  You didn’t realize you were crying until you tasted the saltiness of your tears on your lips.  It was all your fault.  You were the reason that you two got captured, and had been held in this cell for at least a week.

At least they hadn’t separated you.  You would’ve gone absolutely feral if they had even tried that, not to mention what Bucky would have done.

“Agent Twelve, on your right!  Incoming!”

You turned to see a HYDRA agent with his knife in hand, ready to strike.  You waited for just a second for him to get close enough, before ducking and sweeping out his legs in the same motion, catching his own knife in your hand and shoving it into his throat.  “Got him,” you said, yanking the knife out with a wince.

The sound of someone choking on their own blood as they died was never one you could get used to.

This was supposed to be an in and out mission.  An hour or two, tops, with minimal fighting.

But your intel was wrong, and you’d been led into the trap.

It felt like with every agent you took down, two more appeared.  They kept multiplying, like bunnies.

“No, not like bunnies,” you mused to yourself as you fought off two more agents.  “I like bunnies.  These guys—”  You grunted as you wrapped your legs around one of the guy’s heads, squeezing and twisting just as Natasha taught you to do.  “These guys are fuckin’ rats!”

You could hear Bucky snorting on the commlink, and spotted him shaking his head in amusement as he took down three separate agents at once across the airfield you two were currently fighting on.

God, your man was fucking hot.

An entire year, eleven months, and twenty-four days together, and he still made you sweat like a teenager going through puberty anytime you saw him.

Which reminded you.  You had your two-year anniversary in, like, six days.  You knew that he definitely had something special planned, the secret romantic that he was.  Fuck, you needed something to do for him.  Despite the fact that he always said you didn’t have to, you wanted to.  You wanted to make your man feel just as special as he made you feel.

Flowers.  You could start with flowers.  People were always so surprised to find that your boyfriend loved flowers, but he did.  It was sweet.  His absolute favorites were pink begonias, since they reminded him of his mother’s garden.  Well, the flower box she kept on the window sill, since they didn’t have the space or money for a full garden.

What else?  You couldn’t just get him flowers.  Two years was a big deal!  Especially considering the kind of people you two were!  The both of you were stubborn as an ox and lacked communication skills.  You were both used to doing things on your own, and dealing with issues without asking for help.

But that doesn’t work in a relationship.

You knew a lot of people thought you wouldn’t make it a month, and they were almost right since you two had your first fight at three weeks and a day, but then something happened.

Bucky stopped in the middle of the fight, running his fingers through his hair with a sigh came from his bones, and said, “I’m not doing this.  I love you too much to let something as stupid as this ruin us.”

It had been the first time he’d said ‘I love you.’

And you hadn’t heard him at first and kept yelling, before abruptly stopping and staring at him like he’d grown two heads.  “I’m sorry.  What?  You…  You love me?”

And he’d simply nodded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I…  I love you, too,” you said, clearing your throat as you shuffled your feet.

After that, you two decided to go see Donna, a couple’s therapist.  You were both already going to therapy separately, but going together was an entirely new ball game.

And it worked.  Sure, it wasn’t always smooth sailing, but it wasn’t like you were screaming and shouting at each other.  You handled your problems like a team, because that’s what you were.

You could always get one of those little USO showgirl uniforms…  As much as you hated Amazon, their Prime feature really was a godsend for times like these.

Or maybe you could pay a shit ton of money for someone to make it in five days or less, since you had money now.  It’d be worth it, and there were thousands upon thousands of costume designers and seamstresses in New York City, the world capital of theatre.

And you still had that red lingerie he loved so much that you could wear underneath it…

“TWELVE!”

You shook yourself out of your daze just in time for a HYDRA agent to plunge a needle into your neck, black quickly overtaking your vision as you passed out.

“I’m so sorry,” you gasped out as you held Bucky that much closer.  It hadn’t been hard for you to connect the dots once you’d woken up in the tiny concrete room, a steel door being the only way out.  Bucky had been captured because he’d been trying to save your ass.

He grunted as he moved, his eyes squeezing shut in pain.  “It ain’t your fault, baby doll,” he said, his hand grasping onto your forearm.  “Stop blaming yourself.”  He leaned his head slightly to the side so he could look at you, reaching up to wipe your tears.  “Wipe that frown off your pretty face.  ‘M right here.”

“Yeah, but—”  You were cut off by him placing a finger over your mouth.

He took a deep breath before he spoke, his face pale.  “Now, baby doll…  I need you to listen real good, okay?”  He waited for you to squeeze his hand in confirmation.  “There’s a brownstone at 154 Hicks Street, Brooklyn,” he said, wincing with the effort it took to talk.  “Now, I know it’s in Brooklyn, and you love Manhattan, but—”

Brows furrowed, you cupped his cheek in your hand.  “Brooklyn is just fine, but what are you talking about?”

You could visibly see the cogs turning in his head as he carefully chose his words.  “I already paid for it in full, so no need to worry about that.  Sam knows where the keys are.  And—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” you said, cutting him off.  “Why are you talking like this?”

His flesh hand reached up and cupped your chin, his thumb running over your bottom lip.  “You always said you’ve never had a home, but you wouldn’t mind having one with me,” he said, his voice barely audible.  “So I got you one.  It’s got a garden and everything, so you can plant flowers and... and a peach tree.  ‘Cause I know just how much you like peaches.”

“Then stop talking about Sam knowing where the keys are,” you chided.  “You can show me the garden yourself.”  You knew where he was going with this, but you didn’t want him to.  You didn’t want him to say it, because then that might make it real.

“Baby doll, I don’t think I’m gonna make it out of here,” he said as gently as possible, his voice cracking.  “So you gotta listen to me.  It’s all paid for.  Every penny.  The papers are in my desk in our room, the second drawer from the top.”  He took in a shaky breath, trying to hide the pain.  “There’s a ring there, too.  It’s yours, but I thought you might wanna live together for at least six months before I popped the question on ya.”

“Stop it,” you said, leaning your forehead against his.  “You can propose whenever you want, but you gotta stop talking like that.”  Your nose nudged against his as you tried to hold back a fresh wave of tears, though you were quickly finding that was impossible.  “Stop talking like you’re not getting out of here, too.  We’re gonna make it out of here, okay?  And then you can show me the brownstone with the garden in Brooklyn.  So stop talking like you’re going to die because you’re not.”

“My stubborn girl,” he said with a weak laugh, his smile watery.  “I got you a home.  For our two year anniversary, which...”  His brows furrowed, his head cocking to the side a little.  “I think it was four days ago?”

Sniffling, you grabbed his face a little tighter, leaning back so you could look in his eyes.  “Don’t you get it?  You’re my home.”  Letting out a huff, you wiped a tear from his face.  “In your face, I see a lifetime.  In this place…”  You pressed your hand to his heart, feeling the slow but steady beat under your palm, through his thin white undershirt.  “I feel at ease.”

He looked at you like he wanted to interject, but didn’t, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

“Wallpaper peeling, paint wearing thin,” you said, teasing him a little about his age like you always did.  “Here’s where I end and begin.”  In his eyes, you could see all the trouble of his past, swirling in those brilliant blue depths.  “I don’t need a roof to say, ‘I’m covered.’  I don’t need a roof to know I’m home.”  You curled up on his chest, right where your hand had been.  It was much nicer to be able to hear it as well as feel it.  If you closed your eyes, you could imagine you were in your bed at the Tower, going to bed together like any other night.  “There could be a single shingle dangling overhead.  I don’t need a roof to make my bed.”  Fingers running up and down his flesh arm, you tried to get him to relax.  “Close your eyes, I’m still beside you.  No goodbyes needed today.”

Thunder cracked outside, and if you listened close enough, you could hear the soft pitter patter on the roof.  His breathing was starting to even out, and you didn’t know if it was because he was calming down or if he was actually starting to go.

“Hear what the rain says, know what it knows.  After the rain, something grows.”  Your fingers intertwined with his as tears ran slowly down your cheeks, and you squeezed softly.  His metal arm wrapped around your waist, holding you between his legs.  “I don’t need a roof to say, ‘I love you.’  I don’t need a roof to call you mine.”

If you got out of this, you were retiring, and you’d make him retire, too.  You wanted to live a life with him without worrying about possibly dying before you got a chance to see him go gray.

If you had children, you wanted to be alive to see them grow up.

You’d give up being an agent.  You’d become just a consultant, or you’d give that up, too.  You didn’t care.  You’d just be Mrs. Barnes for the rest of your life, and you’d be perfectly happy with that.

“I don’t need adventure in some far away frontier.  I don’t need a roof to feel you near,” you said, starting to get choked up.

He was definitely fading.  His vibranium arm around your waist was starting to go limp, his grip on your hand loosening.

A lump formed in your throat as you clutched onto him that much tighter.  “All I need is you and you forever.  All I feel is true and absolute.”  You leaned back, holding his face in your hand.

His blue eyes fluttered open as he tried to stay awake for you, tried to fight the darkness overcoming him.

Your lower lip wobbled as you ran your thumb over a cut on his cheek bone.  “I don’t need a legal deed to help me play my part.  I don’t need a roof to hold my heart.”  You leaned in and pressed your lips to his.  “Stay with me,” you whispered against his lips, desperately.  You could taste the mix of your tears and his.  “Stay with me.”

But god, he was in so much pain.  You could see it in his face, feel it in the way his grip on your hand readjusted, like it was taking up all of his energy just to hold on.

It probably was.

Swallowing down the sob that was threatening to come out, you said, “It’s okay, Bucky.  It’s okay.  I’m here.”  You pulled his head to your chest, so he could hear your heartbeat in return.  Your fingers worked their way through his tangled hair.  “You’re my home, Bucky.  It’s you.  Please, stay with me.”  But you knew he was close to the end, and the likelihood of him making it out of there was getting smaller and smaller with each passing second.  “I’m here, love.  I’m here.”

Your mouth opened in a silent sob as you felt him go still, your nails unintentionally digging into his arms.  Small puffs of air were still coming from his nose, but his heart was maybe going at five beats per minute, if that.  Your body shook as you rocked him back and forth, unable to let go.

The love of your life was leaving you.  You were feeling him slip away in your arms.

“Bucky?” You whispered, almost afraid to speak at all.  “Baby?  Bucky, please…  Please, stay with me.”  Your voice cracked as you buried your face in his greasy hair.

You didn’t want a brownstone or a ring if you didn’t have Bucky.  You didn’t want anything if you didn’t have him.

You squeezed your eyes shut, kissing his hair.  “I love you.  I love you.  Please, Bucky.  Please.”

The faint sound of footsteps approaching the door made you raise your head, and you steeled yourself, ready to fight back against the HYDRA agents that had no doubt been watching the two of you.  The monsters were just waiting for him to die, and then they were going to take him from you.

Not if you had anything to say about it.

You tightened your grip around him, not bothering to hide your tears.  There was no point.  A lack of tears wouldn’t help you.

The footsteps stopped outside the door, and there was a pause.

Then it blasted open with a bang that startled both you and Bucky, who’s heart rate picked up just a little bit at the sound.

You cried out with relief as you saw Tony standing there in his full Iron Man suit.  “TONY, HELP HIM, PLEASE!” You begged, urging him to take Bucky from your arms.  “HELP HIM!”  Sobs wracked your body as the man nodded, taking him without hesitation, and getting out of there.

Despite their past, Tony loved you, and had learned to love the super soldier by extension.

You sat on your knees, your forehead resting against the ground.  “Please, please, save him,” you cried, your nails dragging painfully against the concrete floor.  Your heart was in absolute shreds.

You had no idea who you were praying to, or even if you were praying at all.  You didn’t know if he could be saved at this point, but you were willing to ask every deity you could think of.

“Twelve?  Twelve, come on.”

Strong hands gently pulled you up, and you found Natasha guiding you towards the door.  “You have to help him, Natasha,” you croaked, dazed and stumbling over your own two feet as you walked forward.  “You have to save him.”

“I know,” she said quietly, her own voice thick with tears as she held you up, making sure you didn’t collapse in the middle of a HYDRA base.  “We’re gonna try, okay?  It’ll all be okay.”

You weren’t able to go to the brownstone with the garden in Brooklyn for three weeks.

You couldn’t leave Bucky’s side.

Tony had gotten him to New York City in record time, and had immediately thrown him into Doctor Cho’s cradle.

He was in there for thirteen days straight as his body fought the new serum, the cradle being the only thing keeping him alive.  It kept his heart and other organs working, his brain functioning.

After two days of you sitting in a chair by the cradle, unable to do anything else but wait, someone wheeled in a hospital bed for you to sleep on.  You’d actually been asleep when he woke up.

And then, when you finally did wake up, the first thing he said to you, his voice muffled by the glass, was, “How long has it been since you showered?  You smell worse than Sam after the gym.”

The absolute asshole.  He almost died and he had the nerve to get onto you about how much you smelled.

It had taken everything in you not to throw yourself at him.  You scrambled off the bed, clinging to the side of the cradle as you looked down at him, frantically hitting the button to get the lid off.  “Bucky,” you said, reaching down to touch his face.  You almost pulled it back, afraid that if you touched him, he’d disappear.

But he simply pushed himself up onto his elbows with a wince, leaning his face into your hand.

“You almost died,” you said, letting out a weak laugh as you rested your chin on the edge of the cradle.

He looked up at you then, his blue eyes just as bright as they always had been, even if they looked a little pained at seeing you such a wreck.  “We’re gonna have to talk to Donna about that, huh?”

A little over a week later, and he was cleared to go home with you.  He was still weak—that serum did take a lot out of him—but he was alive.  And according to every single doctor Tony brought in, there was no chance of him just dropping dead now.

And if they were wrong about that, they’d have you to deal with.  And they all knew that the new Mrs. Barnes was no one to trifle with.

“You got it, baby doll?” Bucky asked as he followed you up the front steps.  He had to take it easy, and you told him that he should consider getting a cane since it was still a little difficult for him to walk.

You were only half kidding about that, though.  They still didn’t know if he still had the original super soldier serum in him after what HYDRA had done, but he was slowly gaining his strength back.  Either way, you didn’t care.  You’d love him with or without his super strength.

“Yeah, I got it,” you said as you slid the shiny gold key into the lock, turning it and opening the door.

The U-Haul truck was sitting on the street, waiting for you two to carry all of your boxes in, but that could wait.

You walked into the front foyer, taking in a deep breath.  It was completely bare, but the furniture that you two had ordered while sitting in his hospital room together was in the U-Haul as well, ready to be arranged.  Sun was streaming in through the large windows, giving a warmth to the house that you couldn’t find at Tower.

“Welcome home, baby doll,” Bucky said as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist.  His chin rested on your shoulder, and he pressed a lingering kiss to your cheek.

Your eyes pricked with tears as your hands grasped his forearms, making sure he was there with you.  A large diamond ring glittered in the late morning light on your left hand.  “Welcome home, Bucky.”

[boognish-worshipper]

Midnight City AU

i’ve been having fun writing this story, all these lil snippets n pieces comin together n shit,,, but i also find myself getting so frustrated writing sometimes even tho ik that’s a given with literally creating anything 😭 anyway uhhhh scheming shit ensues in this chapter, and we see another familiar pal pop up 🙏 also included obligatory reference to those aesthetic photos with song lyrics 🏃‍♀️💥

//Chapter 2: Oblivion

The vinyl store was a short walk from Sterling Lake, but Ron and Trevor decided to run there like idiots. Trevor was out of breath by the time they got there placing his hands on his knees, while Ron looked ready to keel over and pass out, pressing a hand against the front of the store.

“Remind me why we chose to run here?”

“So we could,” Ron wheezed out a breath, inhaling deep to stable himself.

“So we could hurry up and get Wade.”

“It was a rhetorical question.”

“Right. Sorry Trevor.”

Trevor swung the door open hastily, calling out for Wade right away. A head with muddy locs popped up in their direction.

“Hey Trevor! Hi Ron!”

“Wade! Get over here, no time for pleasantries!”

Wade rushed over to meet them outside.

“Get out of my G-damn store Trevor!”

“I’m going, Debra. Say hi to lovely Floyd for me, will ya?”

“Get out!”

The trio walked away from the place, not knowing where to head next.

“Let’s go talk in my truck, where we won’t be… disturbed by any fuckwad wearing Andés brand sherpa jackets. Why do they even need jackets out here? It’s like 90 degrees all the time!”

He was parked across the way from Sterling Lake, and as he went, he tried his best to avoid running into the clique of phony fucks. The minute they all piled in, Trevor peeled out so loudly it was surprising he tried being discrete at all.

“So, Ron. Fill Wade in.”

“What’s goin’ on?”

“It’s the Merryweather Night Club.”

“Ooh, are we goin’ in to see them pretty girls dance?”

“No, Wade.” Trevor interjected.

“Then what-“

“It’s about Steve.”

“Who?”

Trevor impatiently shot out a breath, trying his best to breakdown the situation to Wade. He put a hand to his face briefly before speaking again.

“Haines, Wade. Steven fuckin’ Haines.”

“Ohh him! That fancy dude at the park.”

“Yeah. The fancy dude at the park.”

“What about him?”

“Well Ron here caught word that Devin Weston is hosting some big event there for Haines and his crew.”

“We invited or somethin’?”

“For fucks sake- No, Wade. We’re gonna plan out how to completely crash and wreck the party, so we can get that club the fuck out of here.”

“How’re we gonna do that?”

“Well first, we’re gonna scope the place out. Get a better idea of what we’re dealing with here.”

Trevor thought to himself that if he didn’t have a good look from the outside, that’d he’d have to get a layout of the floor plans himself. It’s not like he hadn’t visited the club before, but he hadn’t been… sober exactly when he dropped by those few times. So it was basically like seeing it for the first time. If he couldn’t get much from the outside, he knew only one person who could accomplish getting the layout of the place.

“We’re almost there, get ready to do some creeping boys.”

The sun was setting, and soon it would be dark out. And when it got dark in Los Santos, it got dark. The only way the city could be visible was from the surplus of lights that were nearly everywhere, except for a few places. They at least had some darkness to rely on so they wouldn’t be spotted right away. Trevor parked a block away, and the three of them hid on the rooftop of the building across the way. Neon lights flickered on, reading “MERRYWEATHER’S SUNNY DAYS NIGHT CLUB”.

“Such a stupid fucking name. I mean, why is it called Sunny Days if it’s a night club?!” Trevor angrily muttered.

As the sky grew dark, the club began to stir, with some random rhythmic song starting up. Ron lifted a pair of binoculars he brought with him, and gasped.

“There he is! Mr. Weston himself!”

Trevor snatched the binoculars from Ron, causing him to crash into his side.

“Uh, Trevor, it’s still around my neck.”

“Then take it the fuck off, before I take it off for you.”

He fumbled around with it, tossing it into Trevor’s hands. Below them, he saw Devin standing outside, with a pristine woman beside him. Trevor whistled lowly, so they wouldn’t be heard.

“That lady’s wayyy out of that fucker’s league.”

He watched them speak to the bouncer outside, hearing them laugh about something before heading in.

“They’re probably laughing it up now, plotting their next move to take over the city!”

“Shut up Ron, we lost them.”

He growled in frustration, handing the binoculars back to Ron.

“Let’s sneak ‘round back, maybe we’ll see something there.”

As they left, Trevor made a mental note of where the Merryweather bouncers were placed. Two burly men guarded the entrance, with a thick velvety rope not too far in front of it. They had to avoid the streetlights, seeing as people like them were sure to raise suspicion being near one of the hottest night clubs in LS. He couldn’t be made, not when he already had a reputation there.

“Alright Ron, you see anything?”

They hid near a dumpster, away from the lights.

“Not really, it’s too dark-“

Suddenly, the back door swung open. Ron and Trevor ducked while Wade’s eyes were transfixed on who was coming out. Trevor yanked him down, holding a finger to his lips.

“So I says to him, ‘You ain’t payin’ me enough to stay on this failure of a fuckin’ show Solomon!’, old guy flipped the fuck out.”

“That’s that Pelosi actor though!” Wade said, rather loudly.

“Wade! Shh!”

“And then I- wait a minute. The fuck was that?”

“Shit! Shit!” Ron panicked.

“Yo!” Pelosi started to walk in their direction.

“We better get out of here. Now.”

All three of them scrambled up to run off back to Trevor’s truck.

“Get back here! Security!” The actor began to chase them, along with one of the Merryweather guards.

They continued to run down the block, Trevor breaking into a sprint so he could start the car up before anyone caught up to them.

“Get in! Get the fuck in!”

The truck revved up, and Trevor drove off in a haste. Even though it didn’t go as planned, Trevor couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“Whew! What a rush, huh?”

“Rush?! We almost got caught, Trevor!”

“Yeah, only because Wade couldn’t keep it down for 5 fuckin’ seconds.”

“I’m sorry! That Pelosi guy is famous! I ain’t ever seen a actor up close.”

“Yeah, but he’s already washed up. Nothing special.”

“Isn’t he our age? How can he be washed up if he’s still-“

“Can it, Wade.”

Trevor came to the conclusion that there wasn’t enough visibility of the place from the outside. It didn’t have a single window. He mumbled to himself that he needed to go see a friend of his. The travel to El Burro Heights didn’t take long, with Trevor telling the other two to wait in the truck.

“Ron, please make sure he doesn’t do anything dumb.”

“Got it.”

“It was one time!”

He made his way up the steps, banging on the door. He lifted his head up to the outdoor camera, snarling at it.

“Let me the fuck in Wheels!”

The front door clicked open, and Trevor walked right in. He shut it behind him, and trotted over to a bedroom.

“Trevor. Didn’t think I’d see much of you again.”

“Neither did I old friend.”

“What is it. What do you want.”

The room was lit up with aqua and pink shades, a visual of a permanent sunset on his computer. Some kind of synth music played faintly. A nerdy looking guy was seated in a wheelchair next to a set up that looked like it was pulled right from the 90s, various posters and novelty items strewn about.

“Let me cut to the chase. It’s Merryweather again.”

“Again? Trevor, I thought we agreed you’d leave them alone!”

“Ah ah ah! I didn’t finish, Lest. Get this, there’s some big event going on soon. Steve Haines- some big get together with him and his posse of lame-os.”

“Really? Devin’s letting those guys in? I thought it was all big name people.”

“Yeah, well Steve isn’t exactly poor Lester. I thought we both knew that.”

“Duh, but still. He’s not exactly Devin’s type of crowd.”

“No no no, I think they might be in kahoots. Planning something.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Hmm. Let me see…”

He turned to the computer, clacking away on his keyboard. It was rather vintage looking, and Trevor was surprised it worked at all. Lester was into technology more than he was though, so he probably worked some kind of magic on it.

“Hm. You’re right. Seems like they’ve known one another for quite some time. Guess their dads work together.”

“Fuckin’ daddy’s boys.”

“But, I still don’t think interfering with that party is a good idea.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“You’ve had enough run ins with the both of them already.”

“But if we infiltrated the club, we could get it shut down!”

“What are you planning, some sort of raid? You and your buddies? 2 other people isn’t much to work with if you wanna take down one of the most popular clubs here.”

“That’s why I came to you!”

“For what?”

“So you could do your cyber shit, find the floor plans or something!”

“You know that’s gonna take a long time, right? I mean, getting the blueprints, not to mention finding other people who’re on board with the idea of it all-”

“Well no shit.”

“Are you paying me?”

“What?”

“I said, are you paying me?”

“What the fuck would I need to pay you for?”

“Taking time out of my day to get that done for you.”

“Right. Because you’re sooo busy.”

Lester frowned slightly, upset by the remark.

“I’m gonna just ignore that. Anyway, I’m not asking for a whole lot. Just something for the effort I’m putting in to find the plans.”

“So you’ll do it?”

“What choice do I have?”

“Absolutely none my friend!” He said, grin wide.

“Y’know you’re still gonna need to assemble a crew that doesn’t consist of only your… minions or whatever. That’s your part. Now shoo, let me do my thing.”

“Oh Lester the Molester you never let me down!” He said, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“I told you to stop calling me that!”

“Aww, and here I thought you liked it!”

“Just go already. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right. No funny business.”

“But funny business is my specialty!”

“Oh my God, go!”

He made his way back over to the truck, seeing Wade passed out in the back. Slamming a hand on the truck bed, he yelled for him to wake up.

“Boys! We got some recruiting to do.”

“Wh-what? What d’ya mean? Who are we gonna find? I thought it was just gonna be us-”

“We’re not taking out one of the biggest clubs in LS on our own, Ron.”

“But I-”

“No buts! Now let’s go.”

They all drove across the city, back to the apartment complex Floyd lived in, Wade’s place being the first one you see pulling in. He had been nice enough to pitch in some cash to pay his rent, seeing as Wade basically had no money to begin with. The trio brainstormed for a bit, chattering away about needing to find people who hated those guys just as much as they did, before Wade and Ron promptly passed out. Trevor threw on a random shuffled playlist to keep him occupied as they slept, and some song he’d never heard before played. Some artist called Grimes? The intro was wobbly, like someone was shaking laminated paper. He kept it on, liking how funky it sounded. The music reverberated loud in his ears, the singer’s voice light and dreamlike compared to the dark, heavy tone of the song. It was the experimental stuff Trevor was into. He opened nosedivr, scrolling through his usual feed. This was a thing he did often when he couldn’t sleep. As he kept going through posts, he noticed he still followed Amanda; they stopped being friends long ago and the task of removing her on there slipped his mind. She had posted a new photo though, and he instantly recognized who she was with just from the shoes. It was that Michael guy.

@krystal-klear-tears

𝔦 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢, 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔫 𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔥 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔶𝔬𝔲.

#grunge aesthetic #lana del rey #lyrics #black and white aesthetic

His finger hovered over the reblog button, and he hesitated. What was he doing right now? He didn’t give a shit who Amanda was with anymore. Michael was just another name, another face, another person she was just gonna dump later on. She could never do commitment. That was the one thing he knew for sure in the period of time they had been friends. Amanda wasn’t exactly a bad person for it, she just didn’t express her feelings in the best way. It was why she jumped from guy to guy. They didn’t need anything more than her facade, her surface level personality. So when the time came that she would be close to showing her true colors, she’d cut them off. Trevor didn’t like that. If there was one thing he truly could not stand, it was people being two-faced. He wished Amanda embraced herself more. But like he said, it was whatever now. Soon enough, he wouldn’t see anymore posts like that.

Still, he figured he could unfollow her another day. Part of him did wanna see how long this one would last. Was that bad? Maybe. Who cares. By the time he had finished scrolling mindlessly on his phone, he’d finally grown tired. He wanted to dream about tomorrow, because tomorrow promised a plan in the works, and it was fucking spectacular. He couldn’t let something so meaningless like a new boyfriend of hers distract him. Yet despite that, he still found himself wanting to know more. This was the first guy in a while that Amanda got with that she didn’t run to tell him about. It felt… strange. But again, he couldn’t let that distract him from what was at the front of his mind. He didn’t have time for that. He had to focus on Merryweather first and foremost. Shutting his eyes, a smile grew on his face. He was finally gonna take those stupid fucks down.

//sorry if these seem short rn,,, it’s gonna be a slow build up tbh. it’ll be worth it later on when i complete future chapters lol. don’t wanna rush it too much ,, also i feel like i’m gonna accidentally make this sound all over the place so uh apologies in advance 💯 i will go into more detail abt amanda n trevor’s friendship in this too btw so expect that eventually ig

[shiningloki]

“Get On Your Knees And Pray To Me” Playlist

I’ve been wanting to make a playlist for my Loki x Reader fic “Get On Your Knees And Pray To Me” for a while and now that we’re getting deeper into the fic, it’s time to do just that! So, since today is my birthday, consider this my own birthday gift to you! Here you will find a list of songs with links to play them on Youtube that remind me of this fic as well as a few select lyrics from each song that particularly stand out to me. 

Happy listening!

Read “Get On Your Knees And Pray To Me” here

*The tag list for “Get On Your Knees And Pray To Me” is open! Leave me a comment, message, or an ask and let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list*

Listen to the playlist on Spotify

Hymn for the Weekend - Coldplay

Oh, angel sent from up above You know you make my world light up When I was down, when I was hurt You came to lift me up

Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande

Don't need permission Made my decision to test my limits 'Cause it's my business God as my witness Start what I finished Don't need no hold up Taking control of this kind of moment I'm locked and loaded Completely focused my mind is open

All that you got, skin to skin, oh my God Don't ya stop, boy

Somethin' 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout you Makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't

Magic Man - Heart

Cold, late night so long ago When I was not so strong you know A pretty man came to me I never seen eyes so blue You know, I could not run away it seemed We'd seen each other in a dream Seemed like he knew me, he looked right through me, yeah

"Come on home, girl" he said with a smile "You don't have to love me yet, let's get high awhile But try to understand, try to understand Try, try, try to understand, I'm a magic man"

Lurk - The Neighbourhood

I fuck 'cause I need to, I fuck when I want I'll fuck you in love, even though it is not I'll fucking digest you, one kiss at a time You wish I was yours, and I hope that you're mine

I'm thinking we should ride To a place that we don't know To a place where no one's seen us before I'm thinking, you and I Better just go with the flow Last thing that we should do is go slow

Earned It - The Weeknd

You make it look like it's magic 'Cause I see nobody, nobody but you, you, you.

So I'ma care for you, you, you I'ma care for you, you, you, you, yeah 'Cause girl you're perfect You're always worth it And you deserve it The way you work it 'Cause girl you earned it, yeah Girl you earned it, yeah

Adore You - Miley Cyrus

Baby, when you hear me When I'm crying now for you I'm scared, oh So scared Oh, when you're near me I feel like I'm standing with an army of men Armed with weapon Yeah, oh

When you say you love me No, I love you more And when you say you need me No, I need you more Boy, I adore you I adore youI love lying next to you I could do this for eternity You and me

Something - The Beatles

Something in the way she moves Attracts me like no other lover Something in the way she woos me

Something in the way she knows And all I have to do is think of her Something in the things she shows me

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys

Been wonderin' if your heart's still open And if so, I wanna know what time it shuts Simmer down an' pucker up, I'm sorry to interrupt It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of tryin' to kiss you I don't know if you feel the same as I do But we could be together if you wanted to

Heaven - Julia Michaels

Love's my religion but he was my faith Something so sacred so hard to replace Fallin' for him was like fallin' from grace

All wrapped in one he was so many sins Would have done anything, everything for him And if you ask me I would do it again

Magic - Coldplay

Call it magic, call it true I call it magic when I'm with you And I just got broken, broken into two Still I call it magic, when I'm next to you

And I don't, and I don't, and I don't, and I don't No I don't, it's true I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't Want anybody else but you

Woman - Harry Styles

I'm selfish, I know But I don't ever want to see you with him I'm selfish, I know I told you, but I know you never listen

I hope you can see the shape that I'm in While he's touching your skin He's right where I should, where I should be But you're making me bleed

Sunday Morning - Maroon 5

Fingers trace your every outline Paint a picture with my hands Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm Change the weather, still together when it ends

That may be all I'll need In darkness, she is all I see Come and rest your bones with me Driving slow on Sunday morning And I never want to leave, yeah

Mine - Bazzi

You so fuckin' precious when you smile Hit it from the back and drive you wild Girl, I lose myself up in those eyes I just had to let you know you're mine

Hands on your body, I don't wanna waste no time Feels like forever even if forever's tonight Just lay with me, waste this night away with me You're mine, I can't look away, I just gotta say

Make Me Feel - Janelle Monae

It's like I'm powerful with a little bit of tender An emotional, sexual bender Mess me up, yeah, but no one does it better There's nothin' better

That's just the way you make me feel That's just the way you make me feel So real, so good, so fuckin' real That's just the way you make me feel That's just the way you make me feel

Truly, Madly, Deeply - One Direction

And truly, madly, deeply, I am Foolishly, completely falling And somehow you kicked all my walls in So baby, say you’ll always keep me Truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you

I hope I’m not a casualty, I hope you won’t get up and leave May not mean that much to you But to me it’s everything, everything

Once in a Lifetime - One Direction

When I close my eyes All the stars align And you are by my side You are by my side

Once in a lifetime It's just right And we are always safe

Not even the bad guys in the dark night Could take it all away

Versace On The Floor - Bruno Mars

I unzip the back to watch it fall While I kiss your neck and shoulders No don't be afraid to show it all I'll be right here ready to hold you Girl you know you're perfect from Your head down to your heels Don't be confused by my smile 'Cause I ain't ever been more for real, for real

So just turn down the lights (down the lights) And close the door (close the door) Ooh I love that dress But you won't need it anymore No you won't need it no more Let's just kiss 'til we're naked, baby

Versace on the floor Ooh take it off for me, for me, for me, for me now, girl Versace on the floor Ooh take it off for me, for me, for me, for me now, girl

Finally Free - Niall Horan

When you're right here beside me There's nothing else I need Your eyes keep me reminded That nothing's out of reach When you're with me It feels like I'm finally free Feels like I'm finally free

[luvrpop]

advil in the bathroom

source: homestuck pairing: n/a requested: yes tws: over the counter drugs (advil) word count: 1498 synopsis: dave gets an eyestrain headache, and goes on an epic quest for advil extra: shoutout to my discord server buddies for lending me some help with their master rap lyricism

There are some days where things suck.

Those are the days where you stay in your room and no one sees you until dinner, or until you decide that boredom will kill you faster than just sucking it up and hanging out in the presence of other people. You say that you make your best music on those days, although your brothers would probably disagree. To that you would respond that creativity comes from necessity or some shit, and Dirk would tell you that the saying is “necessity is the mother of invention” while Hal explains why that doesn’t apply to your situation at all. They’ll still listen to your demo at 3 AM that night, and they’ll still tell you that they like it. You know they might be lying just a teensy bit, but it’ll still boost your ego. 

But not every day is like that.

Your name is Dave Strider, and today actually hasn’t been that bad. 

You’ve been playing Minecraft with your friends all morning, which is one of your favorite things to do. You finally proposed to your best friend June, who doubles as your minecraft-gf-now-fiance, and the realm has been busy with wedding preparations. It’s been the ultimate will they won’t they of the century, and Roxy had been bothering you non stop about “putting a ring on it” for forever. Rose is going to be your best man, naturally, and Jade is going to be June’s. Dirk’s going to be the officiary. Hal spawned 64 diamond hoes as a wedding gift. It’s going to be fuckin’ awesome. 

For now, you turn off your computer and push away from your desk. You rub the bridge of your nose, hoping to stave away a headache from staring at your computer for so long that you know is inevitable. Rose has offered to buy you blue light tint shit for your shades, but you’re not interested in fucking up the lenses like that. Plus, you’re no bitch. You suck it up and head out to the kitchen like always, to rummage through the junk cabinet for an Advil or something. Hal is already seated at the island, reading something. He looks up when you enter the room, and you both nod in greeting.

June asked you once if it’s weird for you to have a robot for a brother. You had replied that you already had a robot for a brother so it’s no big deal, but you both knew that you weren’t serious. On top of it being sick as fuck to be able to say that your big brother is a super genius who built a super genius AI and then a fully functioning body for said AI, you just really like the guy. Plus, he helps keep things organized. Without him, you’d never know where anything is. Dirk isn’t messy, really the opposite. He’s very particular about where things go. The problem is that his idea of where welding supplies go is in the cabinet next to the fridge, where you adamantly believe dishes should be. And so on.

After a minute or two of fruitlessly searching for pain relief, Hal finally speaks.

“What are you looking for?” He asks, not looking up from his book. 

“Advil,” you say, shoving receipts and a neti pot back into the cabinet.

“I see. Check the bathroom.”

“Why?” The fuckin’ cabinet won’t close. “It’s always been in here.”

“Dirk was on a reorganization campaign this morning. You really missed out, dude.” He responds, watching in a bemused fashion as you do mad mental gymnastics to figure out how to stack empty inhaler boxes in a way that will let the cabinet door close.

“Yeah, okay, cool, but like-” You have to pause to catch the bottle of Pepto Bismol that you should have known wouldn't fare well on top of a bunch of empty boxes. “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it or whatever. Now I’m gonna die of eye strain, man, and Dirk’s gonna laugh at my funeral.”

“You know that saying doesn’t apply to him.” Hal says, and you know he’s right. Dirk’s more of an “if it ain’t broke, fix it weekly as to assure it remains unbroken” sort of guy. You snort, and finally get the door closed. Hal pats your shoulder (awkwardly, because the guy doesn’t understand physical affection for the life of him. You appreciate the gesture anyway.) as you walk by, and you begrudgingly make your way to the bathroom. The door is locked when you get there, and you jiggle the handle, just to be obnoxious 

“Dave, I’m going to kill you if you don’t stop jiggling the doorknob,” Dirk snaps from the other side of the door. 

You snort, and jiggle more aggressively.

“Dave.” “I have a headache.”

Dirk makes a sound that is halfway between exasperated and confused. “I- Okay?” 

“A big dumbass moved the Advil into the shitter, and I have a headache. So hurry up or unlock the door,” 

“Dude.”

“Unless you’re taking a shit. Are you taking a shit, Dirk?”

Silence.

“Dude, el mayo.” You can see Dirk’s face scrunch up at that. He hates you and Roxy’s incessant need to say acronyms out loud in stupid ways in your head. “Why’d you even move it? Did you just wake up randomly thinking: 'Hey, I know what I'll do! I'm just gonna obliterate Dave’s afternoon by holding his salvation hostage and then shitting near it? That’s really fucked up, man,”

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but the cabinet in the bathroom is literally called a medicine cabinet. This was inevitable.”

You kick the door half heartedly before stalking back into your room. You know he’ll bring you the medicine when he’s done, but you feel the tingles of a fire track coming on.

Fifteen minutes later, after turning down the Advil and locking yourself in your room, you’re convinced you’ve got the hottest shit since the meteor shower that killed the dinosaurs, headache long forgotten. You usher Dirk and Hal into the cramped bathroom (it takes a while to get them to comply, but you assure them that this shit will be legendarily mind blowing. And really, who could resist that?), and Hal calls sitting on the toilet lid. You’re obviously standing in the shower, so that leaves Dirk to sit on the floor. 

“Couldn’t we have done this in the living room?” Dirk complains, interrupting you as you go to start the backing track (it’s the Minecraft opening theme, with some shitty bass over it.).

“It’s atmospheric, Dirk.” Hal replies, shaking his head.

“Yeah, duh,” You agree. “Now shut the fuck up, I’m about to take you to school.

Check it. Yo, I’m chillin’ on the comp but my head starts splittin’ Messin’ with my game, and fuckin’ up my sittin’ It’s bad, it’s mad, like an angry dad But it ain’t nothin’ compared to the rhymes that I’m spittin’

So I log out, get up, and leave my room My head’s killin’ me, I’m dyin’, y’know I gotta zoom Roll up into the kitchen, I’m cryin’, tearin’ out my hair So imagine my surprise when that shit ain’t there

Who the fuck locked my Advil up in the shitter? The fuck is your problem, I’ll vague you on Twitter I got a hundred followers, you forgot that I’m famous, They’re willing and ready to tear you a new anus.”

You’re about to continue creaming these suckers, but Dirk cuts you off before you can.

“Okay kiddo, I hear you, good god, sit down Is this bathroom a circus? Cause you’re actin’ a clown

I’m so sorry to tell you- Even Hal can attest- I’m so sorry for shitting This bitch has got IBS

I’ll spare you the details- My shit’s soaking wet- But may I remind you?  That’s a medicine cabinet

So before you go cryin’ ‘I’m dying, I’m dying!’ Just study my flow,  Cause that shit’s inspiring”

Oh, hell no. Not in your bathroom. Time to go fucking crazy.

“Eyes wildin’, I’m freestylin’ I’m crushin’ cube bitches, I’ll minecraft you some stitches Relief should be accessible, Otherwise that shit is unethical,

So you better say you’re sorry For puttin’ my drugs above the potty,”

This time, it’s Hal interrupting Dirk.

“Firstly, Dave, shawty, That don’t rhyme with potty To pay for these lessons? You’ll need a scholly 

Your flow is vile, shit’s juvenile I think I’ve heard better from Terezi’s reptile

You’re frying my circuits, This shit is trash If I was organic, you’d give me a rash

I’ve got something to say,  I’ll say it concisely: Shut the fuck up! I’m not asking nicely,”

Well shit. Hal’s got it on lock. You and Dirk groan, and the song ends. Hal always gets the last word. 

The three of you will argue for the rest of the night over who wons (you did, obviously), and you’ll have a shitty microwaved dinner.

Today wasn’t so bad at all.

[headoverhiddles]

Matrimony - Pope x Reader (Let Me Make You A Martyr) [Part I]

Synopsis: You and a skilled hitman are forced to work together to take out a mutual ‘friend’ through teamwork. But together is the opposite of how Pope works, and he already despises you. 

Aka the super filthy, depraved fake marriage au no one asked for :) 

Notes: this will be a three parter, with updates every three days! Enjoy! 

Tagging: (ask to be added) @peachynun​

PART II 

PART III

Pope barely lets the guy finish speaking—he’s already rejected the terms, regardless of the pay.  

“I haven’t even told you the haul yet,” the man who had come to him, Jack Redman, chuckles. Pope does not share his amusement, which he makes clear through a scathing glare. Pope’s glares had the ability to convey a particular type of anger, so intensely that nobody usually challenged him any further… but it meant Redman’s ass if he returned without a yes. 

The two were sitting in Pope’s cabin, devoid mostly of decoration, only the necessities surrounding them. The kitchen table they sat at was low, homemade out of rain-bleached wood from around the area. On their plates, the two had almost finished cuts of red deer meat Pope had offered. It was rare enough for Redman to pick at it, and Pope to devour it.

The propositioner sighs. “She’s a peach. Trust me. Easy on the eyes, all that.”

Despite the bloody mess on his plate, Pope cuts his food with the manners of a King, lifting his fork to his mouth delicately. “She’s a drug runner. I don’t work with drug runners, I kill drug runners.” He has an underlying southern drawl to his voice, a false comfort that eases his targets. Fear always spoiled the hit, just like hunting. 

Redman pushes his plate away in exasperation. “She’s a drug runner who has potential. She wants to help you. This could be an opportunity to--"

“I work alone. That’s final.” Pope gets up from the kitchen table, ending the conversation. Redman shakes his head, chasing after the tall, bullheaded hitman. 

“Fuckin’… stubborn piece of shit… listen, Pope!”  

“I ain’t listening to anything you have to say,” Pope turns, face calm and stern. “I’m done listening. And you’re done talking.” Redman eyes Pope’s rack of guns which he is standing in front of, and swallows.

“Look. My boss is prepared to give you a big fucking bag of dough for this.”    

“How big is fucking big?” Pope asks, taking a pistol off the rack and beginning to clean it. Redman keeps his eyes on the weapon warily.

“It’s a lot, man. At least a million dollars is in this for you if you just test the waters, and finish the job.”

Pope purses his lips. “Half for me, half for this slut I’m supposed to carry around?”  

“Each,” Redman replies. Pope sets the gun down, and the rag with it. He takes his glasses off, polishes them with his shirt, then puts them back on.

“Three days. That’s all it’ll take. We'll see what happens.”

---

You tuck your gun in your back pocket. You’d never had any real reason to use it thus far, since your job, while dangerous, thankfully never got that physical.

Drug dealing seemed a natural path for you to take. Your parents had both been in the business of the black market, your mother an illegal arms dealer and your father working for your mother. Growing up in a family with a “small business”, it had led you to a code of morals that are currently getting in the way.

Morals that say Daegland Pierce, notorious dealer, needs to die.

Since you and your boss both knew you couldn’t carry it out alone, you had been eager to find someone who could carry out the job with you. Your boss got to talking, and as it turns out, there’s some kind of agreement that’s been made. You’re in the dark about the whole thing with him, but all you really need to know is your role in all of it. 

“His name’s Pope.” 

“Any file on him?” you ask, crossing your arms. Lane swirls his drink around. 

“There’s no file for this guy anywhere. He just… is.”

“How do you know what kind of killer he is?”

“Word of mouth. Everybody knows Pope, and nobody knows him.”

“I’m one of the nobodies, would you mind giving me a little more insight, so I know the guy I’m going to be working with?”

Lane shakes his head. “Ask him yourself. You’re meeting him at the rendezvous point, by Exit 19 on the Tollcross back road. Nothing but farmland out there, ‘til you reach the woods Pierce has shacked up in.”

“These the coordinates?” you ask, tapping a map that had been placed in front of you.

"Wrapped up inside. Quit asking questions, will ya? Go do the job, don’t run your mouth at this guy or he’ll shoot it off, and come back richer for the experience." You go to get up, but Lane stops you. "(y/n). I know you think you're real tough, kay? You ain't shit compared to this guy. He'll rip your spleen out if you get on his bad side. So just lay low, do you gotta do, and don't piss him off."

"What makes you think I would?" you ask. Lane sighs, shaking his head.

"There's gonna be two corpses out there by Friday, I swear to god."

--

You drive a crappy throwaway VW bug up a grassy back road, studying the map closely. There's an x marked where you're supposed to meet Pope, and you're coming up on it now. You toss the map to the passenger seat, and crane your neck to see from the sunken seat. There's a black car up ahead, with a man leaning against it.

You park the bug, grab the map, and toss a match in, burning the thing out. You walk up to him, and take a look as you approach. He's tall, got glasses, and has cropped black hair. He's got a few tattoos, maybe more, you notice as he lifts a cigarette up, but most are covered by long black sleeves. How he could wear long sleeves in this heat is beyond you, but you're not here to question his attire. He's actually pretty well dressed, if you'd go so far as to admit it. He's not bad looking either, for a man in his early to mid forties.

The bug blows up behind you, and you smirk.

"(y/n)," you say, sticking out your hand. His dark eyes move over to you boredly, taking you in with a vertical sweep. He finally puts his cigarette between his lips, which are curiously dainty, and shakes your hand. Whatever elegance his features hold are balanced out by the roughness of his hands-- his skin is like leather, and his nails are chipped and dirty.

"You know who I am," he says simply, in a buried genteel southern accent.

You take a spot next to him, leaning against the car as well. He glances sideways at you, but doesn't say anything. He just smokes in silence. You wonder if it'll be like one of those miraculous bonding moments, where he'd offer you a drag, and it would be like some unspoken code of respect had passed between you two.

You lose hope for that as Pope continues to do his best to ignore you. You eventually clear your throat.

"So. I've got a plan."

"No. I've got a plan. This ain’t your show, kid."

You frown. "Don't call me kid."

"Okay, sweetheart."

"Don't call me sweetheart!"

"What do you want me to call you then? Cause I've got a few ideas."

You scoff. What a fucking asshole! Still, your boss' warning is present in your mind, so you shut your mouth, and get in the car. Pope drops his butt, snuffs it out carefully with his shoe, and gets in the driver's side.

"I heard we're going to be taking the cabin next to his," you bring up.  "Must be nice to live out in the woods. Plus, I bet the asshole's place is nice and furnished. He's loaded to hell." You purse your lips. "Is it a long drive to the cabin?"

Pope doesn't answer. Instead, he turns up the stereo, which is just finishing up Johnny B Goode. Then, an old country song that sounds like a bloodhound wailing to the tune of a two string banjo comes on. It's got some lyrics about preaching the gospel, and you sigh, resting your head against the window.

"This is fucking terrible."

Pope looks ahead. "Mhm."

"You seem like a rock kind of guy, not this."

"'Mhm."

“Not even classic rock?”

"Mmm."

With a huff, you turn to look out the window and let the grumpy older hitman, who apparently only knew how to communiticate by varying grunts, enjoy his lovesick religious whining on the radio.

Eventually, you make it down a dirt path, leaves and branches hitting the sides of the car.

“Welcome home,” Pope says, pulling up at the cabin the two of you would be staying at. You get out, looking around. It’s pretty remote.

"Where's his place?"

"Just down the way a little," Pope replies, unloading some things from the car, "Before you ask, no, we are not going over right now. We're setting our rooms up-- far away from one another-- and settling in for the night."

"And lemme guess, you're gonna pour some whiskey sour and spin 'Solitary Man' on vinyl while scraping your boots on the porch?"

He can't even be bothered enough to muster up a glare. He simply gives you a bored look through those wire rimmed glasses, and walks toward the house. You look around, and when you think you hear a cracked twig, follow him quickly.

 ---

Pope sets a lantern on the table, and pushes you your plate of food.

"Thank you," you say. It was genuinely nice of him to prepare food for the both of you, something you hadn't expected him to do.

"Uh huh." You eat in silence for a bit, the crickets outside the window your only accompaniment to dinner. It's a nice cabin, in a pretty nice little thicket of forest. You can certainly see the appeal of living out here-- especially as someone in Pierce's line of work.

Pope finally speaks. "So what kind of drugs do you sell?"

"Why? You interested?" You already know the answer, but so far, it’s been fun teasing him. He tents his fingers.

"I don't fuck with drugs. They dull the wits, and I need those to not die."

"Depends on the drug," you grin. He miraculously cracks a small smile, and you go on. "Just homegrown shit. I don't bother with trying to sell party drugs. That scene just gets the cops all over your business." Pope nods. "You ever get cops on you?"

He cocks his head. "Around here? The three good, upstanding police officers who actually care enough to know what's going on beneath their noses are on my payroll. Any marshals or anything are easily deterred."

"You just use your charm and good looks?"

"Believe it or not, I'm pretty good with people," he says. You scoff.

"That's a good one."

He spends a long time staring at you. You can feel his gaze on you as you eat, and it prickles your skin. You can't tell if you like it or not. You wonder if you should say something else. Eventually, he gets up, taking his plate to the cabin's quaint kitchen. You missed your chance.

He cleans his plate, and stops by the stairs. "Why'd you want to come out here to put two people on a one man job?"

"I wanted to see it get done. I guess I... didn't trust you."

"Do you now?"

"What?"

He looks at you over his glasses. "Do you trust me now?"

You sit forward. "I don’t trust anyone but myself."

He nods. "You don’t trust me cause you haven’t seen me do what I do."

You chew on your bottom lip. You hadn't gotten the chance to tell him your plan, and by all accounts, you know he's not going to like it. These three days may be more difficult than you thought.

After slowly finishing the rest of your dinner, you head upstairs to find the remaining bedroom. As you're passing the doors, you catch a glimpse of one partially open. Inside, Pope is lying awake, staring up at the ceiling. You quickly hurry past, hoping he didn't see you, and find the empty bedroom at the end of the hall. Finding it furnished with a few old blankets, you toss a pillow down. You slip out of your clothes to your bra and panties, and get into bed.

You don’t know what to make of the man in the other room. Until you do, you’d better keep him at arm’s length.  

[brittywritesstuff]

but still i find you there, next to me

Warnings: None -- couple f-bombs

Spoilers for 15x01

Word Count: 2.1K

A/N: I'm back on my bullshit with episode codas. Welcome to the end, amiright? Title is a lyric from Next to Me by Imagine Dragons

Read on Ao3

“Hey, go easy on him.”

“What?”  The line between Dean’s brow is deeper than ever as he snaps his head in Sam’s direction.  He finds his brother watching him intently as he steps off the curb.  “The hell are you talkin’ about?”

“Cas,” Sam says with a huff.  

“You-- shut up, Sam.”  

Sam looks away and pauses a beat.  Then, “No.  Y’know what, Dean?  No. I’m not gonna shut up.”

Dean stops in his tracks and Sam nearly barrels into him.  He doesn’t give a shit that they’re standing in the middle of the street.  He gives a shit about his brother poking around in business that isn’t his; putting his nose where it doesn’t belong.  “‘Scuse me?”  Sam doesn’t know what the hell he’s getting into, and Dean’s really not in the fucking mood to deal with it.

Sam’s mouth thins out, and he huffs through his nose.  Dean has half a mind to poke the festering bullet wound in Sam’s shoulder as payback for this conversation.  “You think Cas wanted any of this to happen?  You think Cas thought--”

“No, he didn’t think,” Dean snaps, narrowing his eyes at Sam.  “He never does.”

Scoffing, Sam presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek.  “That’s funny coming from you.”

Dean shifts his stance and tips his head to the side.  “You got a problem?”

“Yeah, I do.  Cas is family, Dean.  You’ve said it yourself a million times.  And he cared about Jack more than any of us.  He cared about mom.  He’s grieving, too.  And-and-and the first sign of trouble, you’re willing to just write him off like he means nothing?  I saw you when he died, Dean.  I kept my distance, and kept my mouth shut, but I saw you.  This,” he gestures generally, somewhere behind Dean, “this whole cold-shoulder act… you’re not doing anyone any good.”

“Sam--”

“I’m not done.”  Dean’s jaw twitches, but he stays silent.  “Whether you like to admit it or not, we need him.  You,” Sam pokes Dean’s chest, and Dean wants to break his finger, “need him.  You always do.  What happened with Jack-- with-with mom?  It wasn’t his fault.  You wanna be pissed at someone, be pissed at Chuck.  Or all the monsters and ghosts we’re about to face.  But not him.”

Sam doesn’t give him a chance to retort before he shoulders past Dean and trudges up the steps toward the school.  Dean feels heat creeping up his neck, and he huffs, scrubbing a hand over his face.  “Fuck.”  As if the last two days haven’t been trying enough, now he’s got Sam on his case about Cas.  And Cas… fuck.  Fuck!  

He sucks in a breath and grunts to himself, like he’s working up to something before he heads up the steps toward the school doors. Everything is a goddamn clusterfuck, and he can’t tell which way is up. 

The sheriff accosts him before the door’s even closed, and Dean rattles of some instructions to keep the locals busy for a while. Buy him some time to figure things out.  The sheriff heads back toward the gymnasium and Dean heads for the all outside the admin office, and he catches Cas’s eyes as Cas turns the corner, looking perturbed. Cas, for what it’s worth, looks away, seeming to give Dean the space he wants. Or, at the very least, Dean thinks he wants.

Dean has half a mind to let it go, let Cas walk right on by, but as their shoulders nearly brush each other, Dean scrubs a hand over his mouth and swears to himself.  He stops a few paces away and closes his eyes. “Cas.”  He’s not even sure Cas hears him until Dean hears the quiet clacking of his soles on the tile stop.  Dean drops his hand and turns, finding Cas watching him, one eyebrow raised expectantly.

“Shit,” Dean mutters.  He looks around, shifting his weight, and finally tilts his head toward the empty hallway to his left.  “Can we talk?”

“About what?”

Well, fuck.  Cas is in one of those moods.  The stubborn kind.  The kind that reminds Dean of when they first met, and it settles an ache in his chest, weighing heavy on his heart.  “You-- about--”  He huffs, clears his throat, and wipes a hand over his mouth.  Beyond the double doors behind Cas, he hears the squeaking of shoes on the gym’s linoleum floor; the quiet hum of voices engaged in various conversations, no doubt lobbing questions at Sam, the sheriff, and his staff.  With a grunt, his eyes shift back to Cas’s irritated face, and he tries again.  “Can we just talk?”

Cas’s mouth is set in a firm line, and he stares at Dean a beat too long for comfort.  Finally, he sighs, as if put out by the inconvenience of Dean’s existence, and steps past Dean into the deserted hallway.  Dean waits a moment, lifts his eyes to the ceiling to compose himself, and follows.  Cas is waiting silently beside a door labeled ‘Art -- Room 401’ and he’s watching Dean closely.  

Dean turns, kicking his toe against an empty locker.  It echoes down the hallway, and he raps his knuckles against the cool metal.  He’s stalling.  “I’m sorry,” he mutters.  It doesn’t sound much like words; more a jumbled mess of letters like ‘msrrr’.  Cas certainly notices.

“What?”

With a huff of exasperation, Dean whirls around on his heel to look at Cas directly.  “I’m sorry,” he sais, more forceful than intended.  Cas looks taken aback, and Dean’s face softens.  “I-- The kid…”  He heaves a breath, pushing his hands in the pockets of his FBI windbreaker as he looks down at his feet.  He toes at a scuff mark and tries to collect his thoughts; tries his best to rearrange the Scrabble pieces in his mind into a coherent statement.  “I know,” he starts slowly, his gaze still fixed on his shoes.  Why are apologies so goddamn hard?  “I know you’re havin’ a rough time with the kid.  ‘N’ I’m sorry.”

He hears Cas sigh, and he doesn’t even have to look up to know the look he’s getting:  Cas’s head tilted to the side, his brows drawn together, his lips curved in a frown.  “Dean.”

“I shouldn’t’ve taken it out on you.”  He’s surprised with himself, admitting he’s wrong.  Maybe the world really is ending.   “I just… You-- he killed-- he… Mom’s gone.  Again.  And there ain’t no reset button, y’know?”  His voice dips, and he clears his throat to try to hide the shakiness. “All my life, I wanted her back.  ‘N’ I had her.  ‘N’ then I didn’t, ‘n’ I--”

“Dean.”  Dean sniffs, and Cas continues.  He hears the footsteps as Cas approaches.  Feels the warmth of his closeness.  “You have every right to be upset to lose your mother.”  Cas’s hand is on his shoulder.  “But, Dean, I lost someone, too.”

“I know, man, I know.”  He tilts his head and lifts his eyes from the floor to Cas’s eyes.

“We’ve all made mistakes.  I ignored the signs when I should have said something--”

Sam was right about this, Dean decides.  They’re all at fault.  But Cas is the easiest to lash out at.  He always is.  It’s not fair of him, he knows.  If anything, he should be kinder to Cas than he is, but…  it seems it’s easier for Dean than admitting the truth:  Dean is not only wrong, but a coward.  “Nah.”  He cuts Cas off with a shake of his head, and he reaches out to grab a fistfull of trenchcoat.  “We all saw it.  But we--”

“Hoped.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth turns up.  “Yeah.  Hoped.  Not mucha that goin’ around these days, but, I dunno.”  Cas’s hands shifts to the base of Dean’s neck. “This is all so fucked, Cas.  I mean, the end, y’know?  I told Sammy I liked the odds -- him ‘n’ me against Hell, but I gotta be honest with you, I’m not seein’ a way outta this.”

Cas’s thumb brushes the space below Dean’s ear and he leans closer.  “We’ll figure it out, Dean.  We will find a way.  We always do.  All of us.  Me, you, Sam--”

“Team Free Will,” Dean huffs.

Cas smiles -- actually fucking smiles.  “Yes.  Team Free Will.  Seems felicitous now more than ever.”

Blinking, Dean exhales quickly.  He doesn’t know what felicitous means, but he thinks he gets the gist of it.  “Yeah.”  His thumb brushes one of Cas’s lapels.  “Listen, I know it’s rough, seein’ that asshole ridin’ around in Jack, but--”

“You need him, I know.”

“We need him, Cas.  We’ll take care of it, sooner or later, but for now--”

“For the greater good.  I’m aware.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

Cas tilts his head, and Dean feels that ache of affection.  “What?”

“That you were dead to me.”  He closes his eyes and shakes his head, as if his own words bring him physical pain.  “I could never--” he sucks in a breath that he releases through his nose like he’s trying to keep from getting sick.  “I didn’t mean it, Cas.”

Cas is quiet for a beat, and then, “of course, Dean.  I know.”

“No.”  Dean opens his eyes.  “No, I need you to hear it.  I’d never wish that.  God, losin’ you nearly fuckin’ broke me.  I need you to really understand that I--”

“I know, Dean,” Cas says again.  His thumb strokes the hinge of Dean’s jaw.  “I know.”

The deep line between his brows smoothes out just a little, and he licks his lips as he leans back against the lockers, pulling Cas closer.  “C’mere.”  The halls are still deserted, and he wants to take advantage of the brief moment they have alone.  He thinks, end of the world, right? Fuck it.  He wrangles his other hand out of his pocket and grasps the back of Cas’s head, pressing their foreheads together when he’s close enough.  He doesn’t give Cas to speak first.  “Just-- shut up.”  These moments are usually reserved for complete solitude -- Sam snoozing away down the hall or in the other motel room; nights in the Impala when Sam’s off doing research.  Moments just for each other, under the cover of secrecy.  Not in the hallway of a high school with a whole town worth of people a coupla hundred feet away. 

“I didn’t say anything.”  Cas’s free hand palms Dean’s hip.

“You were gonna.  Just--just don’t.”  He closes his eyes and breathes in deep.  Cas always smells so good, it’s always been hard to ignore when they’re not alone.  Like an oncoming storm in summer.  Something almost indescribable.  It’s distinct.  It puts him on edge and calms him all at once.  

“I wasn’t.”  Dean doesn’t open his eyes, but he can hear the smile in Cas’s voice.  

Tipping his head, his lips brush against Cas’s, and he inhales slowly.  Cas’s lips part, moving against Dean’s, and he swallows a groan.  His fingers curl in Cas’s hair, the tip of his tongue meeting Cas’s.  It’s a nice distraction from the universe crumbling around them.  He focuses on the feeling, on the taste, on--

A slow clap echoes through the hall and they part, both turning toward the sound.  Dean stands up straight, his face set in a look that could burn a hole through the sun.  Belphegor stands at the apex of the corridors, watching them with a smirk.  “I had a feeling there wouldn’t be trouble in paradise for long,” he quips.  “The famous love story is too good to end!”

“I-- what?”  Dean snaps.

“Oh, Dean Winchester and his Angel.” Belphegor speaks so matter-of-factly and cheerfully, Dean wants to put his fist right through his face.  “It’s everyone’s favorite soap downstairs!”  He leans forward like he’s letting them in on a secret, pushing his hands into his jacket pocket.  “We might be demons, but we’re not averse to a little romance, y’know.  We like to have something to root for!”

Dean growls and stalks toward the gymnasium, and settles for shoulder-checking Belphegor as he passes.  “Shut up.  Cas, let’s go.”  

He hears Cas’s footsteps, and Belphegor behind him, “Don’t want to keep the hubby waiting--  Whoa, whoa, whoa!”  Dean turns to find Cas gripping him by the shirt, his angel blade once again pressed to his throat.

“Cas, let him go.  We talked about this.  Let-- hey.  Let him go.”  Cas finally does as Dean asks and releases Belphegor with a shove.

“When this is over,” Cas turns to Dean as they step away from the abomination and head for the gymnasium together, “I will make him pay.”

“Yeah, I don’t doubt it.  But just-- y-- not yet, okay?  Not yet.”

Cas straightens his trenchcoat and huffs.  “Fine.”  

Dean reaches out before they reach the double doors and straightens Cas’s lapel.  “Y’know, for what it’s worth… I don’t think your coat is stupid.”  He offers a nod, turns, and disappears through the doors, with a new resolve to fix this insanity and, once again, stop the goddamn apocalypse.  

[ubernoxa]

The Dare: A Guns N’ Roses FanFic

Chapter 30: Little Things

Chapter Summary: Sometimes the little things in life make the biggest of differences.

(Masterlist)

Taglist: @gingerspicetalks @str4nge-haze @queen-crue

The guys had all decided to stay in that night, which was music to Delilah’s ears when Duff called her inviting her over. She was looking forward to a quiet night not being surrounded by strangers. She wondered if tonight Duff was going to pull her aside and finally tell her about Seattle. It was getting harder and harder for Delilah to ignore the torturous voices that filled her head.

He doesn’t care for you.

He is only with you because he is bored.

He is going to break up with you before he leaves for Seattle. Why else would he not tell you about the gigs?

Once another girl comes along, you’ll be yesterday’s news.

Honestly, who could love someone like you?

Who could love someone as broken as you?

The memory of her and Mag’s conversation before Stef picked her up filled her head.

(Flashback)

“What did he say?” Mags had given up at beating around the bush. She needed answers. The fact that Delilah hadn’t confronted Duff about Seattle blew her mind. She would have confronted Duff the moment she found out about Seattle if she was in Delilah’s position, but she wasn’t Delilah.

“Well...here’s the thing Mags...”

“You didn’t ask him? How could you not ask him? He is leaving in like 3 days for a week to Seattle and he hasn’t said a word! How have you guys not talked about it?” Mags wanted to scream at Delilah, but she couldn’t. For one thing she didn’t want Tonya to hear, but Mags also saw something in Delilah. Fear.

“No Mags I didn’t because I’m not supposed to know. What if he takes it the wrong way? What if he thinks I’m being needy or that I’m stalking him? I just.........I just...I don’t want to lose him. He was acting weird last night. He wouldn’t let me leave his side. It was so out of character, so I didn’t want to...make thing worse,” Delilah snapped back the words coming out as harsh as she had meant them. She remained staring out the window as the tears quickly ran down her cheek.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to press. I was just worried ok? I worry about you almost as much as my idiot brother,” Mags said trying to get a laugh out of Delilah.

Silence filled the room as Delilah continued to stare out the window.

“What if I bore him,” the words left Delilah’s mouth barely audible.

“No no no Delilah you don’t bore him,” Mags swiftly sat down next to Delilah and wrapped her arm around her. Any fool could see how he looked at her. One might speculate that he was in love. Mags hoped that one day she would find that. Maybe she should try praying? If that’s how Delilah found Duff then why not try talking to this God guy?

“Really? Explain to me this, why would he want to be with someone like me? Just look at me! He is this amazing bassist and could probably have any girl he want. There are hundreds of chicks millions of times hotter than me, but he chose me. Am I like a pity date? Is it because Trixy called me a whore and he feels bad,” Mags remained frozen with eyes wide open trying to understand what the hell Delilah was going on about. The longer Mags thought about what Delilah said, the more confused she became.

“That makes absolutely no sense,” Mags snapped back.

Delilah ignored Mags as she continued to stare out the window. There was no changing

her mind.

“Jesus Fucking Christ Delilah,”

“Don’t say that. Don’t use his name like that,” Delilah stood up and sulked over towards the kitchen.

(End flashback)

She had never felt so alone as she sat on the old couch in Duff’s lap as she snapped back to reality. This party was more packed than any party she had been to before. It was worse than the Motley party Duff took her to not too long ago. Just like that party, she wasn’t enjoying herself. She wished she could have brought Mags or even Tonya along, but Mags was still hungover or sick from the night before and Tonya didn’t want to leave Mags alone.

“Hey, want another?”

Delilah turned to Duff and offered him a quick nod. The pair left the packed room after while Duff offered his hand for her to hold while following him towards what Delilah could only assume to be the kitchen .

“This doesn’t look like the way to the kitchen,” Delilah smiled as she stared at the window at the end of the hallway. It was clear that Duff was up to something. He felt relief flow through his as Delilah sent him the first genuine smile of the night.

“Hmm, that’s strange. I could have sworn that the kitchen was this way,” Duff let out a laugh before he climbed through the window onto the fire escape. Delilah was right behind him, ever curious to where he was headed.

“I guess I made the right choice and wore pants,” Duff’s heart fluttered as he heard Delilah giggle at her own comment.

“Axl said that him and Slash would only invite a couple people over, and before I knew it four people turned into half of the fuckin’ strip,” Delilah smiled at the thought of Duff wanting to have just a quiet night of drinking. It was calming to her.

Delilah could finally hear herself think when Duff brought her to the roof. She felt a sense of calming flow through her as the memories from the last time she was on this roof filled her. The memories of their first kiss.

“Did you plan this?” Delilah motioned towards the red blanket that was placed on the roof. A pile of dandelions resting on the blanket with a couple of sunflowers in the center.

Duff nodded as he held her hand guiding her to the blanket. There was nothing in the world that could remove the smile that formed on Duff’s face.

It had taken hours to find the dandelions and steel the sunflowers, but it was worth it. The look on her face was worth every second.

Delilah giggled as she picked up one of the of the dandelions and placed it behind Duff’s ear.

As she gazed into the sunflowers, she wondered if he knew what they were to her. Did he know what they meant? It was always the little things with Duff. It was the little things he did that made the big difference.

“What’s wrong? You’ve been quiet all night,” despite Duff’s non sober state, he could tell that Delilah wasn’t acting right. Her smile was off, the way she laughed was off, hell, even the kiss she gave him when he first saw her today was off.

“It’s just......a lot,” Delilah knew she couldn’t lie to Duff. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it, so she decided on saying a partial truth.

Duff nodded his head as he took another sip of his drink.

“I’m sorry Duff, I just....” Duff pulled Delilah in for a kiss before she could continue talking.

“Wait here,” Duff whispered once he broke the the kiss and headed off the roof.

Delilah let a groan escape her as she laid down on the blanket.

It was one word, one stupid word. All she had to say was Seattle. She didn’t even have to make a sentence. SEATLE SEATLE SEATLE.

“Did ya miss me?” Delilah perked her head over towards Duff when she heard his voice.

She smiled as she saw a blue acoustic guitar in his hand, “Ohh am I gonna get a super exclusive personal show from the famous rockstar Duff McKagan?”

“Maybe,” Duff kissed her forehead before taking a step back.

Delilah shoved all thoughts of Seattle to the back of her head as she watched Duff begin to play the opening to a song she had heard countless times. She wondered if Duff chose her favorites song on purpose.

“Take me down to the Delilah city where the apartment is clean and the girls are pretty.

Take me home, oh won't you please take me home.

Take me down to the Delilah city where the she makes cuisine and the she is witty.

Take me home, oh won't you please take me home,” the smile on Delilah’s face never faltered as Duff continued to sing with the altered lyrics.

It wasn’t until the last chorus that the butterflies went to complete chaos in her stomach.

“Take me out of this idiot city,

Where Duff ain’t stupid and life ain’t pretty

Take me home, oh won't you please take me home.”

Duff placed the guitar down once he finished the song. He promptly sat down next to Delilah and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Thoughts?”

“I like the bit about Duff being stupid. I think the scarves or bandanas he wears around his head sometimes cut off the circulation to his brain,” Delilah teased leaning into him as she spoke. They sat in silence for a few minutes, surrounded by the noise of the Saturday night on the strip.

“I should have told you the moment I found out,” Duff kissed her forehead once he finished talking.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I overanalyzed the shit out of it. I was worried you would think that I didn’t want you to meet my parents,” Duff felt a weight off his chest once he told Delilah. Steven and Izzy were right, he should have done this days ago.

“Well I overanalyzed the shit out of you not telling me about it,” Delilah played with her thumbs as she spoke back.

“I should have told you the moment I found out you were going to Seattle,” Delilah could hear Mags and Tonya screaming at her to not apologize. They believed that it wasn’t her fault, and there was no need to apologize. Delilah still blamed herself.

With a smile on his face, Duff leaned in and began to slowly kiss her. It was gentle like the countless ones they had shared before this one, but there was something different.

Delilah sat with her hands in her lap frozen as Duff began to kiss the sweet spot on her neck causing a small moan to escape her lips. She was frozen in place as the butterflies flipped not only her stomach, but her brain as well. She was frozen in place, unable to move.

Delilah was naive, but she wasn’t a fool. Once the butterflies calmed down, she could clearly think again. She knew what Duff wanted. She placed her hand on his knee and he placed his hand around Delilah’s slowly inching it up.

Electricity shot through Duff as she gently held her hand on his member. Delilah watched as his eyes widened with excitement as he deepened the kiss.

“Let’s....lets go downstairs shall we?” Duff motioned towards the fire escape as he helped Delilah up. Delilah picked up some of the flowers, along with the blanket, and headed back into the apartment.

Duff motioned for Delilah to wait in the kitchen, not wanting her to see Slash potentially naked having sex with some chick.

Duff felt a sigh of relief as he saw Slash sitting on the couch in the living room. All it took was a look across the room for Slash to know what Duff was asking. Slash nodded his head and quickly whispered something into Steven’s ear earning a giggle was him.

Delilah picked up the phone as it continued to ring for the third time.

“Hello?” Delilah was thankful that the cord was just long enough for her to take the phone in the bathroom.

“Is Delilah there? I’m her roommates Tonya, I have something I need to tell her,” Delilah smiled as she heard Tonya’s voice.

“This is me!”

“You need to come back to the apartment Del, it’s Mags..”

“What’s...what’s wrong with her is she okay?”

“She’s fine Del, perfect health. She might need your....emotional support,” Delilah’s heart sunk as she heard those final words.

Mags laughed at the rain that poured around her. How fitting, how fucking fitting. The one silver lining is that he couldn’t see the tears that had been running down her face. Tonya and Del has offered to go with her, but Mags was afraid that he would feel like they were ambushing him.

The loud bang from the thunder filled the air matching the storm that lived inside Mags. The thunder was followed by the echoing of footsteps.

He was here.

“Are you okay,”

Mags wanted to speak, but her voice had disappeared.

“What’s wrong Mags, it sounded urgent. I have a deadline to make, and I need to get back to work. What’s wrong?” Drew stood in front of Mags in the pouring rain. He wasn’t in the mood for this.

Mag’s arm shot out in front of her as she handed Drew the white plastic. Such a little thing, such a little thing made such a big difference.

[aniallating]

IF I’VE DONE WRONG | a Quentin playlist | listen here

a mix for when u refuse to give up no matter how much it sucks and also the world owes you like 16 favours after this so you deserve to fuckin relax. relevant lyrics/timeline under the cut!

01 your side of the bed / landon austin (post-mosaic) ・ i can't sleep cause she's where you're supposed to be ・ she's getting all the songs you used to get / she's getting all the words inside of my head / she's sleeping on your side of the bed, but it's still your side / now i'm up all night

02 fools / troye sivan ・ i need time to replace what i gave away / and my hopes, they are high, i must keep them small / though i try to resist, i still want it all ・ i see a little house on the hill and children's names / i see quiet nights poured over ice and tanqueray / but everything is shattering and it's my mistake / only fools fall for you

03 memo / years & years ・ you seek yourself in another way / i try my best but i don't ever change ・ i want you to stay / and if i try my hardest, would you look my way? ・ let me take your heart, love you in the dark / no one has to see / i want more, i want more

04 you're somebody else / flora cash (the monster) ・ i saw the part of you that only when you're older you will see, too / you will see, too / i held the better cards, but every stroke of luck has got a bleed through ・ well, you look like yourself but you're somebody else / only it ain't on the surface / well, you talk like yourself / no, i hear someone else, though / now you're making me nervous ・ you were the better part of every bit of beating heart i had / whatever i had

05 wide eyed / billy lockett (the seam) ・ truth is i'm used to making it up on my own / how long will i climb out? i never listen / i'm in remission ・ how long will i say yes over my conscience? truth is i'm wasted before i take it all in / how long will i blame it on past life tragedy? there's no remedy ・ i can't pretend it's not the end / no, it's not the end

06 in my blood / shawn mendes (4x13 who?) ・ keep telling me that it gets better / does it ever? help me, it's like the walls are caving in / sometimes i feel like giving up, no medicine is strong enough ・ i'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious / afraid to be alone again, i hate this ・ sometimes i feel like giving up, but i just can't / it isn't in my blood

07 all i have to give the world is me / tegan and sara (4x13 WHO) ・ talked myself out of being me, didn't wanna fight my own worst enemy ・ staring down my two halves in the glass feels like a heart attack / telling me to choose one or the other, i get so panicked / i don't wanna lose, but if i choose love, what will happen then? ・ you don't have to change, you don't have to change / all i have to give this world is me, and that's it / all i have to show this world is me, and that's it / just me, just me, just me

08 i wanna get better / bleachers ・ i've trained myself to give up on the past cause i froze in time between hearses and caskets ・ i chase that feeling of an eighteen-year-old who didn't know what loss was / now i'm a stranger ・ i miss the days of a life still permanent / mourn the years before i got carried away / so now i'm staring at the interstate, screaming at myself / hey, i wanna get better

09 mess is mine / vance joy (post-monster recovery) ・ do you like walking in the rain? when you think of love, do you think of pain? you can tell me what you see, i will choose what i believe ・ this body is yours, this body is yours and mine / well hold on, darling, this mess was yours / now your mess is mine ・ your mess is mine / this body's yours and this body's mine / your mess is mine

10 made up love song #43 / lewis watson ・ i love you through sparks and shining dragons, i do / and the symmetry in your northern grin ・ you got me off the sofa, just sprang out of the air / the best things come from nowhere, i can't believe you care ・ yes, i believe you, yes, i believe you

11 straight to hell / hollerado ・ must we explain the perfect moments, like hummingbird wings? they are meant to move too fast for our eyes / and i believe in evolution and the wonder of all things, so why can't salvation be mine? ・ i'm sorry if i've done wrong / but i won't back down cause we don't last long

12 sunday / bloc party (healing) ・ i'll love you in the morning when you're still hungover / i'll love you in the morning when you're still strung out ・ there might be ones who are smarter than you, that have the right answers, that wear better shoes / forget about those melting ice caps, we're doing the best with what we've got ・ when i'm with you i am calm, a pearl in your oyster / head on my chest, a silent smile, a private kind of happiness / you see, giant proclamations are all very well, but our love is louder than words

wow cant believe quentin survived the seam and also told the library to fuck off and now has the time he deserves to recover and heal and be in love with eliot, s5 dont @ me

[xsixxx]

Bad Influence - Chapter Nine

Authors Note: I'm sorry if this chapter cuts off a little at the end, I was struggling for a way to round it off & set it up for the next chapter.

I promise, we're nearly past all the boring filler bits & on to the good stuff. The next chapter is gonna be what you've all been waiting for 👏🏻

Feedback is welcome encouraged. Please.

Warnings: Language (as always), some drugs, lil bit of sauciness, someone being a bit pervy

Tags: @triplehaitches @freddiessmallnipples @queen-crue @scarecrowmax @lovesick-heart0 @littlesunnymoon @80sheart-strings @cranberribread @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies @versnatasha @zoenicoles @crazysaladchopshop @ggorehorror @lunamadhatter99 @justtryingtoovercome @chaoticvybe @you-know-im-a-dreamer @eightiesrockbaby @valentines-in-london @xrosegoldwolfx @fupatroopaa @lilypetite88 @this-blog-must-be-the-place @ashleecrue @lauravic @dark-princess99 @unknownoblivion @mgkobsessed @antheasnow

(Mick smiles once in this chapter so it deserves this gif)

*Mötley House*

I snorted up yet another fat line that Tommy had so generously laid out for me, stood up straight & rubbed my nose, giggling.

"You having fun babe?" Tommy laughed, his arm snaking around my waist, trying to hold me upright.

"The best!" I slurred, wrapping my arms around his neck, still giggling like a school girl. "Do some shots with me, T-Bone!" I yelled, blindly grabbing a bottle of whatever was closest to me & downing the first one. "I bet I can do more than you."

"You're on doll!" He chuckled, snatching the bottle away from me & taking a long, impressive swig, making me immediately rethink my drunken bet.

"Gimmie that." I mumbled, swiping the bottle back & downing another shot. I couldn't taste a damn thing but the burn felt good. "Ok, let's maybe forget the bet.. How about a game?" I exclaimed, perking up at my own idea.

"Only if we can play Never Have I Ever," Tommy grinned widely, his eyebrows wiggling as I let out an exasperated groan.

"T-Bone, come on! You know I hate that game!" I whimpered, pouting at him in hopes that I could change his mind.

"That's why it's fun, princess, because you haven't done anything!" Tommy said with a hearty laugh, playfully patting my back as I took a swipe at his arm. "I like discovering new ways to corrupt you. Last time we played this, you hadn't had a one night stand & then you went home with Vince!" He finished with a wink.

I let out an unamused laugh. "Gee thanks, look how that turned out!"

"That's not my fault, I wasn't the one grinding up against Sixx in an alleyway." He announced for everyone to hear, shrugging.

I glared at him as he smirked. "I hate you, T-Bone."

"I know! But you secretly love me underneath all that hate." He smiled, mischievously. "Ok I'll start; Never have I ever.. owned a horse."

"Oh come on! You knew that already!" I complained, taking the shot anyway. "No cheating!'

Tommy giggled, holding up his hands, caught in the act. "Ok, ok, little rich girl, I'll play fair, I promise." He paused for a second, thinking of a do-over. I watched a slow smirk spread playfully across his lips. "Never have I ever fucked Nikki Sixx."

I couldn't help my scoff. "I don't believe that for a second, I've seen the way you two look at each other." I joked, rolling my eyes, but Tommy ignored me, eagerly eyeing up the bottle clasped in my hands, waiting for me to take a shot. I let out a short, sharp laugh of victory. "T-Bone, I'm not sure what you're waiting for, I told you, I haven't slept with Nikki! We've only kissed once!" I hesitated, before awkwardly correcting myself. "Well, twice now, I guess."

Tommy let out a fake groan, the corners of his mouth turning up once again. "I thought you might be more willing to 'fess up when you're wasted."

"Nope!" I grinned, "Ok, my turn; Never have I ever made a girl squirt during a party."

"Ah Bullwinkle," Tommy sighed fondly, his mind wandering back as he proudly took a shot in her honour. "I miss that chick."

"I fuckin' don't." Mick piped up. "Crazy bitch used to throw everything when she was on one," he gestured towards the broken window, now the doorway for the stream of drunken misfits who clambered in from the Sunset Strip, looking to continue the party. "You can thank her for that, sent a fire extinguisher flying through it once when she was in one of her jealous moods."

"Yeah, maybe a don't miss her.." Tommy trailed off, grimacing at the memory. "Oh but how I miss watching that beautiful stream of cum, flying majestically through the air!" He said dramatically mimicking the spectacle with his arms as I collapsed into a fit of giggles.

"Goddamn animal." Mick grumbled, slugging, what was most likely vodka, from his usual hip flask.

"Ok, your turn T-Bone," I said, trying to regain my composure, feeling my mouth twitch with the desire to laugh as the giggles well & truly took hold.

"How about my turn." Cut in a razor sharp voice, oozing with bitterness. "Never have I ever been fucked by one member of a band & then 5 minutes later, had my tongue down another members throat." Vince laughed darkly, taking the bottle from Tommy & thrusting it at me.

Tommy jumped to my defence, standing up & putting his hand on Vinces chest. "Leave it out, man."

Vince looked down arrogantly at the hand resting warningly on his chest, before ripping it away & shoving Tommy back, throwing him a threatening glare & then turning his rage back to me. "Drink up, groupie." He spat, his eyes full of disgust.

I fixed Vince with a deadpan look, the coke & booze making me confident & cocky as I took the shot, dragging it out, not breaking eye contact once. I finished & held the bottle against Vinny's chest, gesturing for him to take it.

"There you go, I saved some. I'm sure there are a lot of other girls around here who need to take a shot for that one too." I said smoothly, unphased by his icy stare. I heard Tommy's chuckle at the same time as I caught Mick trying to hide his smirk behind his flask & both sent Vince's temper ablaze.

"It's not the same & you know it," he snarled, leaning into me, his eyes dark & his breathe laced with the smell of whiskey. "You're fucking done with this band, do you hear me?!" He shouted as he spun around & stomped off in typical diva-Vince fashion.

"Nah your not." Tommy nudged me, smiling. "Me & Mick still like you, ain't that right Mick?"

Mars wordlessly lifted his flask up & tipped in to me in agreement. I couldn't help the warm smile that spread across my face. "Thanks guys, that means a lot."

"Anytime princess. Now, let's do another line." T-Bone said gleefully, rubbing his hands together.

"Ok, but first I need to pee." I announced, standing up swaying as I regained my balance. "Line 'em up T-Bone, I'll be back in a minute."

I stumbled across the filthy living room, narrowly avoiding the empty bottles & passed out bodies that littered the floor as I made my way towards the bathroom. I reached the door & turned the handle, leaning in as I pushed it open, feeling the alcohol & drugs hit me all at once as I suddenly lost my balance & fell face first through the doorway. I lay face down on the disgusting carpet, my cheek resting on its filth as I drunkenly cackled to myself about my complete lack of grace.

"What the fuck?!"

I cringed, hearing Nikki's pissed off voice.

I stood up quickly, brushing down my skirt as I tried to figure my bearings. My eyes scanned the room, taking note of the battered band flyers, posters & cut outs that were strewn all over the walls in a disorganized fashion. There wasn't much in the way of furniture, just a beat up wardrobe & one lone lamp standing next to a double mattress on the floor. On the mattress lay a passed out girl snoring softly & a half naked Nikki, sat under the covers with some sort of notepad & pencil.

"Get the fuck out Lizzy!" He barked, his face angry with a hint of amusement that could almost go unnoticed. But not by me.

"Sorry, sorry." I slurred, eyeing up his notepad. I couldn't help my curiosity. "What're you writing?" I enquired.

"Lyrics." He snapped, eyes on his notes as he scribbled something out with a sharp exhale of breathe.

"Lemme here some!" I blurted out enthusiastically as I walked over & flopped myself down on the bottom of the mattress, my intoxication overtaking my better judgement that knew full well that Nikki wouldn't take kindly to my intrusion.

He narrowed his eyes at me warningly. "Beth, I don't like people in my room unless you're in here for the same reason she was." Nikki smirked, gesturing at the snoring brunette before giving her a shove & harshly jolting her awake. "Time to go darlin," he said bluntly, without looking at her.

The stunning brunette pulled herself groggily from the bed, grabbing her clothes as she went. As she reached the door, I watched her hesitate & turn back to look at Nikki, almost as if she wanted to say something. The pause lasted a second before she thought better of herself & left without a word.

Nikki hadn't even looked up from his writing.

"You too Angel," he gestured towards the door, raising his eyes slightly to look into mine. "I'm busy."

"But I wanna hear your writing!" I whined, shuffling up the bed to lie next to him, resting my spinning head on the battered pillow.

"Don't get yourself comfortable, your ass is leaving." Nikki scowled, but I couldn't help noticing a hint of that infamous smirk dancing around the corners of his lips as his eyes appreciated the sight of me in his bed. "Since when are you interested in my music? You hate metal."

"Just because I'm not a metal fan, doesn't mean I can't be interested in the process that goes into making it." I shrugged, toying with the lace that was woven into the bust of my top. His eyes drifted to the skin peeking out from beneath it, his gaze lingering there a little longer than it should've before he shook his head, turning his attention back to his notes.

"Fine. I'm writing some stuff for the new album, it's gonna be called 'Shout At The Devil'."

"Oo edgy!" I mocked, prodding his bare chest playfully.

Nikki scowled, unimpressed with my joke. "Don't ask about my work if you're just gonna make judgements. I didn't ask for your input." He snapped, his voice a hurt & fiercely defensive.

"I'm sorry, bad joke." I mumbled, a little embarrassed, before resuming my enthusiasm. "C'mon, read me the one you're writing now!'

Nikki looked skeptical. "Fine," he relinquished, "but keep you bullshit opinion to yourself" he warned.

I mimed zipping my lips & shuffled closer to Nikki, so my head rested lightly on his bare shoulder. The warmth radiating from his skin mixed headily with my boozy state & I couldn't tell if I was more intoxicated from the alcohol or him. I saw him throw a little sideways glance, eyebrows raised, but he didn't complain & instead read aloud some lyrics scrawled under the title "Too Young To Fall In Love".

Run for the hills

We're both sinners and saints

Not a woman, but a whore

I can just taste the hate

Well now I'm killing you

Watch your face turning blue

Not yet a man

Just a punk in the street

Nikki finished, falling silent & I could feel his body tense, waiting for my 'bullshit opinion'.

"Well that was.." I struggled to find a word to best describe what I'd just heard. "Unsettling." I giggled.

Nikki frowned, annoyance plain on his face. "That's the fucking point. I don't want my music to make you feel fucking lovey & shit. It's supposed to be dirty & raw & uncomfortable." He sighed.

"No no, it's good." I quickly corrected, trying to reduce the sudden tension that came with his downheartedness. "So," I hurried on, grabbing a bottle of whiskey I'd spotted on the floor & taking a long gulp, "what number am I going to be?"

Nikki looked at me, puzzled.

"What number am I going to be? When we fuck, how many girls will that have been tonight?" I slurred, flashing him a shit eating grin.

He served me one right back. "You're feeling pretty confident tonight, aren't you?"

"Come on, you said it yourself, that's the only reason girls are allowed in here." I whispered, running my fingers along his bare chest as I lifted my head to look at him. His eyes were already fixed on me & I could see his desire burning away, setting the green in his eyes ablaze.

He paused, holding my gaze for a second, before smirking & letting out a sigh. " And that's why I told you that your ass is leaving, Lizzy." He whispered back, not giving in to me.

I ignored him as I leaned in & pressed my lips to his & felt his restraint melt away as he kissed me back. I climbed on top of him, straddling my knees either side of his hips as I ran my fingers through his thick, wild hair. I felt him grow harder as he let his hands wander to my ass, allowing my skirt to ride up above my hips, only the thin sheet & my underwear keeping us apart.

But Nikki suddenly pulled away from me, breaking the kiss as he chuckled softly to himself. "Not like this," he muttered, running his thumb along his lower lip as if to wipe away the taste of me. I could see him struggling to control himself as, to keep his hands off of me. I flashed him my own arrogant smirk.

"But I want you, Sixx." I muttered against his skin as I began placing kissing along his jawline, before sitting up & pulling off my top, throwing it casually on the floor, revealing my lack of bra. I looked back at Nikki, his eyes wide & jaw slack as his gaze feasted hungrily on the sight of my bare chest.

"What's the matter rockstar, I'm sure you've seen plenty of tits before." I teased as he dragged his eyes back up to my face. He shook his head, snapping himself out of whatever dirty fantasy he'd gotten caught up in.

"I know what you're doing Angel & it's not going to work."

"What?" I asked innocently, interlocking my fingers with his as I brought his hands to to my chest, grazing them delicately across my nipples as I slowly began grinding my hips against his.

"It's not going to happen, not tonight. Not when you're like this." He smirked at me, "but well played."

I sat back, dropping his hands, & pouted. "This is the second time you've turned me down now, you're going to give me a complex, Nikki." I huffed, crossing my arms over my exposed breasts.

Nikki laughed, taking my chin in his hand. "And this is the second time you've come on to me in a less than stable state, I'm not going to take advantage of that. Now put your clothes back on." He ordered, lowering his voice sternly, causing me to squirm a little. It didn't go unnoticed & Nikki smirked knowingly.

"Fine." I sulked, climbing off of him. But before I could move away, Nikki gripped my waist, pulling me back on to him before rolling is over & pinning me beneath him, grinning arrogantly.

"Just know that as soon as you're sober, I'm going to get you back for this." He said roughly, the bass in his voice telling me he wasn't messing around, making me shiver with desire once again.

"Touch me." I begged, but Nikki chuckled darkly as he climbed off of me, taking the sheet with him to cover his modesty. He picked up my top from the floor & tossed it to me. "Soon Angel." He promised.

I pulled my top on & pondered what he'd said. "Why won't you fuck me drunk? You fuck other girls drunk" I quizzed.

Nikki looked caught off guard before he smiled. "You're not other girls."

I tried my best to hide my sudden blush. "And what does that mean?"

“It means that you're not like other girls.” Nikki let let out a low, sultry laugh. “It doesn’t usually take this much effort to get a girl into bed with me. And that’s how I know you’re gonna taste so damn sweet when I finally do. I've worked hard to get to this point & I want to really enjoy you, Angel. I can't do that if you're smashed.” he smirked.

I couldn't hide my blush any longer, my pale skin quickly flushing pink as I stood up from the bed, trying to hide the fact that I was flustered by his words.

"You sure know how to make a girl feel special." I laughed.

"You just wait, Princess, I'm gonna make you feel things you never knew you could." Nikki chuckled darkly, his arrogance leaving me weak as he held open the door, a sly, half smirk on his lips. "Now, your ass is leaving, Lizzy."

And I left wordlessly, desperately wanting more, just like the girl before me.

*Later*

*Nikkis POV*

The music was shaking the walls of the crappy two bed shithole we resided in. I definitely wouldn't have called it home, there wasn't a single thing about the place that was comfortable or homely. It was a place to party, fuck & occasionally sleep, if we found the time.

My mind drifted back to the sight of Beth in my bed earlier than evening, her head on my shoulder, he perfect tits as she thrusted against my cock.

Fuck, I should get some sort of award or at least an honourable mention for that level of willpower, I chuckled to myself.

It was all gonna be worth it. She'd made me work for her & now it was Beths turn to wait. And fuck, I'd make damn sure it was worth the wait.

My mind carried on with its little fantasy as my hand mindlessly jotted down more lyric ideas, until I happened to hear Beths drunken protests outside my door.

"No, no I'm good." She slurred, "I've been doing lines with T-Bone."

"I bet the shit I have is better," a gruff, male voice responded. "Let's go into the bathroom & you can try it out."

"Honestly, I'm good, thanks." I heard her say, a little sharper this time.

"C'mon, come with me to the bathroom, you know you want to." Came his sleezy voice through the door. I felt my jaw clench.

"No look, I just wanna get back to the party, can you get out of my way?" Beth said, her voice almost pleading.

I'd heard enough, I threw on my pants & furiously stormed towards the door as I heard him patronisingly ask "where are your manners?"

I flung open the door to see this fucker cornering Beth, his body virtually pressed up against her as his hand rested on the wall next to her head, his arm blocking the way back to the party. His other hand was stroking her jaw line in a way that made my flesh crawl & the way his eyes leered over her body, it took everything I had not to beat that lecherous look off of his face.

"Hey asshole, where the fuck are your manners? She said she wanted to go back to the party." I growled at him, grabbing him by the shoulder & ripping him away from Beth.

"What the fuck man?!" He yelled in my face, trying to frantically grab at my hand that gripped his shoulder. "I was just talking to her!"

"Yeah? Well now you're fucking done talking to her, you get that?" I snarled back, trying my best to keep calm.

"Whatever man, figured your band slut would be free to the rest of us now you'd all finished having a go." He laughed nastily.

I'd reached the breaking point of my patience. My lip drew back, my nostrils flared & my hands balled into tight fists as I took a purposeful stride closer to him, backing him up against the wall, his back hitting it with a dull thud. One my fists relaxed for a brief second, my knuckles white from clenching & snaked around his neck, squeezing just enough to turn his face crimson as he struggled against my vice-like grip.

"Now listen up, you little prick." I spat with all of the venom I could muster. "You see this girl here? She's with me & my band. Now look around you." I paused, using my other hand to grab ahold of his jaw, forcing his face towards to party that had all but halted to gawp at my performance. "This is our party. You're in the fucking Mötley house, asshole. That means you respect what is ours. Now you don't touch this girl, you don't talk to her, you don't even fucking look at her, do you hear me?" He nodded frantically, his face turning a dramatic shade of purple. "Good. Because if I catch you anywhere near her again, I swear to god," I paused, leaning in close so no-one would hear my words but him. "I'll fucking kill you." I hissed, my voice smooth & irrevocably deadly. "Now get the fuck out."

I released my grip & watched as he scrambled out of the window like a rat retreating back into the filth he came from.

"Are you ok?" I asked gently, turning my attention back to Beth who looked somewhere between terrified & impressed. She nodded her head slowly, her eyes watching me with heavy caution.

"T-thank you." Was all she could manage.

"It's ok, Princess." I replied, a little awkwardly. "We take care of our own."

I cringed at my own words as her face still didn't break. "I-I think it's best I leave." Beth muttered, shifting her eyes from mine down to the ground as if waiting for if to swallow her whole.

"Beth, stay, I'm sorry if I scared you or whatever, I didn't mean to.." But she was already shaking her head.

"It's not that, I just.. I just don't belong here.' She mumbled, more to herself than me as she started moving herself towards the window. "Thank you again, Nikki." She whispered, squeezing my hand as she walked by before she too, was off out if the window & into the night.

[cait-with-luv]

J.JK Soul Ink - Playlist

Previous | Next

¬ Me, Myself & I - G-Eazy ft Bebe Rexha

Oh, it's just me, myself and I Solo ride until I die Cause I, got me for life,yeah Oh I don't need a hand to hold Even when the night is cold I got that fire in my soul

¬ Him & I - G-Eazy ft Halsey

Cross my heart, hope to die To my lover, I'd never lie He said "be true", I swear I'll try In the end, it's him and I He's out his head, I'm out my mind We got that love, the crazy kind I am his and he is mine In the end, it's him and I, him and I

¬  You Don't Own Me - Grace ft G-Eazy

You don't own me I'm not just one of your many toys You don't own me Don't say I can't go with other boys

Don't tell me what to do And don't tell me what to say Please, when I go out with you Don't put me on display

¬Control - Halsey

I sat alone, in bed till the morning I'm crying, "They're coming for me" And I tried to hold these secrets inside me My mind's like a deadly disease

I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than my demons I'm bigger than these bones

¬ Gasoline - Halsey

And all the people say You can't wake up, this is not a dream You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

I think there's a flaw in my code These voices won't leave me alone Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold

¬Hold me down - Halsey

My demons are begging me to open up my mouth I need them, mechanically make the words come out They fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce Ignite me, licking up the flames they bring about

¬ Without Me - Halsey

Gave love 'bout a hundred tries Just running from the demons in your mind Then I took yours and made 'em mine I didn't notice 'cause my love was blind

¬ Nightmare - Halsey

I've tasted blood and it is sweet I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet I've trusted lies and trusted men Broke down and put myself back together again Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger I've pinched my skin in between my two fingers And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors

¬ Now or Never - Halsey

Never pick up, never call me You know we're runnin' out of time Never pick up when you want me Now I gotta draw a line Baby I done, done enough talking Need to know that you're mine Baby we done, done enough talking Gotta be right now, right now

¬ I Walk The Line - Halsey

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time I keep the ends out for the tie that binds Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true I find myself alone when each day is through Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you

¬  Desperado - Rihanna

Gotta get up out of here and You ain't leaving me behind I know you won't, 'cause we share common interests you Need me, there ain't no leaving me behind Never know, no, just want out of here yeah Once I'm gone, ain't no going back

¬Needed Me - Rihanna

I was good on my own, that's the way it was That's the way it was You was good on the low for a faded fuck On some faded love Shit, what the fuck you complaining for? Feeling jaded huh? Used to trip off that shit I was kickin' to you Had some fun on the run though I give it to you

¬I'm Gonna Show You Crazy -  Bebe Rexha

I'm tired of trying to be normal I'm always over-thinking I'm driving myself crazy So what if I'm fucking crazy?

And I don't need your quick fix I don't want your prescriptions Just 'cause you say I'm crazy So what if I'm fucking crazy? Yeah, I'm gonna show you

¬ Bad Bitch - Bebe Rexha ft Ty Dolla $ign

You're sayin' that your tired of all your empty habits You want something that's deeper 'cause you're over the generics You're fuckin' with them basics when you really want the baddest So come on, baby, get it, 'cause to miss it, it would be tragic

¬ Straight Shooter - Skylar Grey

Married into this family and I'm datin' a bunch of outlaws Even the children drawing guns out of little crayon box Playing with scissors, cuttin' straight to the point Don't need to beat around the bush, we takin' shots to the groin

¬ Yonce/Partition - Beyoncé

Driver roll up the partition please I don't need you seeing 'Yonce on her knees Took forty-five minutes to get all dressed up We ain't even gonna make it to this club Now my mascara running, red lipstick smudged

¬ Or Nah - SoMo (Rendition)

I'm a freaky-deeky lover wanna hit you from the back and other ways That you have never experimented under the covers Roll around the bed with me is something you don't just discover If you wanna get with me you gotta keep it on one hundred I'mma make you scream my name

¬ The Hills - The Weeknd

I only love it when you touch me, not feel me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, yeah

¬ Gangsta - Kehlani

I'm fucked up, I'm black and blue I'm built for it, all the abuse I got secrets, that nobody, nobody knows I'm good on, that pussy shit I don't want, what I can get I want someone, with secrets That nobody, nobody, nobody knows

¬ CRZY - Kehlani

Everything I do, I do it with a passion If I gotta be a bitch, I'ma be a bad one I'm AI with the designs, du-ragging Bounce back game good, why we talkin' practice? Yeah, yeah, yeah Pull up score when I want to Best thing next to Heaven They be tryna count me out though I'm just countin', countin' blessings A real woman 'bout her paper

¬ Good Life - Kehlani & G-Eazy

Raise up a cup up for all my day ones Two middle fingers for the haters Life's only getting greater Straight up from nothing we go Higher than the highest skyscraper No Little League, we major The proof is in the paper

¬ Sucker For Pain - Imagine Dragons, X Ambassadors, Lil Wayne, Logic, Wiz Kalifa, Ty Dolla $ign

I torture you Take my hand through the flames I torture you I'm a slave to your games I'm just a sucker for pain I wanna chain you up I wanna tie you down I'm just a sucker for pain

¬ Do Re Mi - blackbear

If I could go back to the day we met I probably would just stay in bed You run your mouth all over town And this one goes out to the sound Of breaking glass on my Range Rover

¬ Zipper - Jason Derulo

I'ma mark my territory Shawty I'm an animal, slowly digging in to you Spread you like a bad story Turn you to a criminal, let me see you cock it back

¬ Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding

Fading in, fading out On the edge of paradise Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I've gotta find Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire Yeah, I'll let you set the pace 'Cause I'm not thinking straight My head spinning around, I can't see clear no more What are you waiting for?

¬ Beating Heart - Ellie Goulding

Wanna hear your beating heart tonight Before the bleeding sun comes alive I want to make the best of what is left hold tight And hear my beating heart one last time.

¬ Pillowtalk - Zayn

I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure Nobody but you, 'body but me 'Body but us, bodies together I love to hold you close, tonight and always I love to wake up next to you

¬ Dusk Til' Dawn - Zayn ft Sia

'Cause I wanna touch you, baby And I wanna feel you, too I wanna see the sunrise and your sins Just me and you Light it up, on the run Let's make love, tonight Make it up, fall in love, try

¬ I Don't Wanna Live Forever - Zayn ft Taylor Swift

Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'd call It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all

Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day Give me something, oh, but you say nothing What is happening to me?

¬ Wrong - MAX Ft Lil Uzi Vert

Wanted to take her back to my place Driving 90, let the cops chase Making that "Damn it feels so good" face Cause she don't wanna wait, no, wait 'til we get home

¬ Youngblood - 5SOS

Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you calling me by name Takes one to know one, yeah You beat me at my own damn game

¬ Champions - Fall Out Boy ft RM

Have you ever felt how hard it is to be an anybody To be living, to be breathing, not choosing a dead body Remember, the man told me that this life is a party Yeah, all the glory's so short you should put away the garbages Normal ain't normal, ordinary is a luxury

¬ Crossfire - Stephen

He'd trade his guns for love But he's caught in the crossfire And he keeps wakin' up But it's not to the sound of birds The tyranny, the violent streets Deprived of all that we're blessed with And we can't get enough, no

¬ Revolution - Diplo

Can you see it? The worst is over The monsters in my head are scared of love Fallen people listen up! It's never too late to change our luck

¬ Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

White shirt now red, my bloody nose Sleeping, you're on your tippy toes Creeping around like no one knows Think you're so criminal Bruises, on both my knees for you Don't say thank you or please I do what I want when I'm wanting to My soul? So cynical

¬ Bad Moon Rising- Mourning Ritual ft Peter Dreimanis

I see a bad moon rising. I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightning. I see bad times today.

Don't go around tonight, Well, it's bound to take your life, There's a bad moon on the rise.

¬ Give It To Me- Agust D

(Same Lyrics, just in Hangul and in English)

아직은 성공의 비법은 몰라도 망하는 비법 잘 알 것 같어 딱 너처럼 놀고 나불대는 게 비법 죽어도 그렇겐 안 살 것 같어

I'm still not sure about the secret to success But I think I know the secret to failure The secret is to play the fool just like you And keep blabbing your mouth But I wouldn't live like that even if I had to die

¬ Jopping - SuperM

You think ya big boi, throwing three stacks I'mma a show you how to ball, you a mismatch Opinionated but I'm always spitting straight facts Throwback, I might throw this on an 8 track Believe me, I'm sight to see Exciting go and drop the beat We get it jopping the party, it don't stop The festival is now starting

¬  Tove Lo - Vibes

Skin to skin Seepin' in Flickering, our eyes go wide You giving me studded sight Painting stars In our hearts Yeah, you know I'm down for you I want you to lick my wounds

¬ Bad Things- Machine Gun Kelly ft Camila Cabello

Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind? If you only knew the bad things I like Don't think that I can explain it What can I say, it's complicated Don't matter what you say Don't matter what you do I only wanna do bad things to you So good, that you can't explain it What can I say, it's complicated

¬ Home - Machine Gun Kelly ft Bebe Rexha ft X Ambassadors

I been through so much pain And it's hard to maintain, any smile on my face 'Cause there's madness on my brain So I gotta make it back, but my home ain't on the map Gotta follow what I'm feeling to discover where it's at I need the (memory) In case this fate is forever, just to be sure these last days are better And if I have any (enemies) To give me the strength to look the devil in the face and make it home safe

¬ Way Down We Go (Stripped) - Kaleo

They will run you down, down 'til the dark Yes and they will run you down, down 'til you fall And they will run you down, down 'til you go Yeah, so you can't crawl no more

¬ 7 Rings - Ariana Grande

Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage? Rather be tied up with calls and not strings Write my own checks like I write what I sing

¬ Don't Call Me Angel - Ariana Grande,  Miley Cyrus & Lana Del Ray

See you here with somebody Dude sizin' up my body Don't you know that I bite when the sun set, yeah? So don't you track 'em around me Might work on them, but not me Don't you know that I bite when the sun set?

¬ Into You - Ariana Grande

I'm so into you, I can barely breathe And all I wanna do is to fall in deep But close ain't close enough 'til we cross the line So name a game to play, and I'll roll the dice, hey

¬ Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande

Somethin' 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout you Makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

¬ Seven Nation Army ( Glitch Mob Remix)

I'm gonna fight 'em all A seven nation army couldn't hold me back They're gonna rip it off Taking their time right behind my back

¬  Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez

No one never listens, this wallpaper glistens Don't let them see what goes down in the kitchenPlaces, places, get in your places Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces Everyone thinks that we're perfect Please don't let them look through the curtains

¬ Carousel - Melanie Martinez

Round and round like a horse on a carousel, we go, Will I catch up to love? I could never tell, I know, Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I, Feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel

[sleepykalena]

Ten Songs to Get You Through the Plague (Hallyu Edition)

How dare you all, daring me to make a list even though I declined because I said it was just a whole lotta kpop. :P

@skitzofreak, @crazy-fruit, and @funkygourmetrva-blog apparently REALLY wanna be “enlightened” or something like that so here it goes~

(under the cut because long post is long)

ON (BTS) - This song slaps, and is one of like...three(???) songs that I like from BTS. This is a straight-up fight song- it’s hesitant, a little scared, but embraces a self-professed insanity as a motivation to keep going, and that’s pretty damn inspirational (and also very Jyn, I must say. That’s been on my mind). This song and Mikrokosmos are helping me write Parka. Favorite Line(s): Can’t hold me down cuz you know I’m a fighter / 제 발로 들어온 아름다운 감옥 [translation: Carried myself into this beautiful prison] / I’m alright, bring the pain on, yeah / I’ma fight, bring the pain on, yeah

Mikrokosmos (BTS) - I love a good song that compares feelings of love and companionship to stars in a night sky. This baby got me through writing about half the chapters in Parka, and is gonna help me write the remaining 3-4 chapters before I move on to Scarf. Favorite Line(s):  어쩜 이 밤의 표정이 이토록 또 아름다운 건 / 저 별들도 불빛도 아닌 우리 때문일 거야 / You got me / 난 너를 보며 꿈을 꿔 / I got you / 칠흑 같던 밤들 속 / 서로가 본 서로의 빛 / 같은 말을 하고 있었던 거야 우린 / 가장 깊은 밤에 더 빛나는 별빛 [rough translation: It’s possible that the night is beautiful not because of the lights or stars, but because of us / You got me / I see you as I dream / I got you / in the darkest of nights / The lights we saw in each other / were saying the same thing / A starlight that shines brighter than the deepest night]

Bad Buy (Cover) (Eric Nam) - I was really uncomfortable with the idea of a female minor talking about how she’s the type to “might seduce your dad”, but under the lens of a “guy next door” in his late 20s/early 30s, it seems...more like a strange quirk than some lolita thing. But also, Eric Nam has no business being this attractive and making this super smooth cover. Seriously. No business whatsoever. *fans self* Favorite Line(s): Duh. (SERIOUSLY. That’s the favorite bit. I’m not even joking.)

Double Knot (Stray Kidz) - I heard the English version of this first and thought, “hot damn, these kids go HARD”. And then someone pointed out that they were literally singing about tying their shoelaces and now I can’t stop laughing. I actually have had this in my rotation because it helps me get in the mindset of the show I’ll be working on next (which has a similarly hilarious juxtaposition), because I hear this song and literally imagine a bunch of 13 year olds trying to act hardcore with a song as G-rated as this (I’m still laughing just thinking about it) Favorite Line(s):  Dramatic cutscene every scene is the best of the best / 'Cause my life is a five star movie / I'm not done yet so / Tight-tight, go brace yourself / I tighten my double knot

HIP (Mamamoo) - This song is a huge critique on the kpop industry and their rather restrictive and fat-shamey culture, and I AM HERE FOR IT. Plus these gals are just GORGEOUS. This one got me exposed to Mamamoo and I have zero regrets. Songs like this always make me feel super empowered <3 Favorite Line(s): 논란이 돼 My fashion / 별로 신경 안 써 그저 Action / 자꾸 Click me click me 홀린 듯이 Zoom / Close up close up close up HIP 해 [localized translation: Your controversy is my fashion / I don’t care, it’s just an action / Go and click me, click me, like a stan, you zoom / close up, cuz you know I’m HIP, hey]

Regular (NCT 127) - Pretty sure this has been living in my playlist for most of 2019, and it hasn’t changed much since. Definitely makes me feel like a baller while I (used to) commute in shitty traffic, so listening to it now that I’m practicing social distancing is more about mentally taking myself to a place of normalcy than anything else.  Favorite Line(s): I like shining, you be lying / I be grinding, you waste time / Know you wanna roll with me / Cause you know I put it down / When I show up, I’m the one and only, nah nah nah / Yeah, pull up in the jag / Haters gon’ be mad

Kill This Love (Blackpink) - This is also an empowerment anthem that also helped me get through my (former) commute! When you spend all this time indoors, you’re bound to overthink your life, so it’s nice to have a song remind you that you need to assess those relationships and, if the relationship is hurting you more than helping you, “kill this love”. Deffo applicable to your relationship with yourself (e.g. if you’re wallowing in negative thoughts on a detrimental level), or even with others on a platonic level. Favorite Line(s): 나 어떡해 나약한 날 견딜 수 없어 / 애써 눈물을 감춘 채 / 사랑의 숨통을 끊어야겠어 [translation: What do I do? I can’t stand being this weak / While I force myself to hide my tears / I need to bring an end to this love]

POP/STARS (K/DA) - My previous editor showed me this song at the start of this year before he left for a new show and it slaps so hard that I’m mad at how much of an earworm this is LMAOOOOOOOO (side note: has anyone noticed that I’m picking these songs based on how upbeat they help me feel since I’m stuck indoors all the time?) Favorite Line(s): Ain’t nobody bringing us / Down down down down down down / They could try but we’re gonna wear the crown / You could go another round / Round round round round round round / Wish you luck but you’re not bringing us down

Dr. BeBe (Pentagon) - The song is just really catchy. The lyrics is really possessive in a helpless kind of way, and that’s sort of the flaw with most pop songs, it’s also strangely self-aware of what it’s going through. So meta LOL Favorite Line(s):  너란 벽에 갇혀 몸부림쳐 / 상처 나도 / 벗어날 수 없는 울림 [translation: I’m stuck inside your walls / struggle to escape / and get hurt]

AND THE ONE SONG THAT ISN’T KPOP:

Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD) - Came for the two folks in Godzilla suits, stayed for the lyrical mastery. I think even my partner was shocked that I liked this song, but honestly? It goes pretty hard, it’s a bit rude and taunting, which is just the kind of salt that I sprinkle in my head. Plus it’s fun to try and get even a FRACTION of the speed that Eminem raps. Favorite Line(s): You're bringin' the killer within me outta me / You don't want to be the enemy of the demon who entered me / Or be on the receivin' end of me, what stupidity it'd be / Every bit of me's the epitome of a spitter / When I'm in the vicinity, motherfucker, you better duck / Or you finna be dead the minute you run into me / A hundred percent of you is a fifth of a percent of me / I'm 'bout to fuckin' finish you, bitch, I'm unfadable / You wanna battle, I'm available, I'm blown up like an inflatable / I'm undebatable, I'm unavoidable, I'm unevadable

Is there anyone left to tag? Making this post was exhausting, so tag yourselves if you want in LMAO

[xtrashmammalstefx]

Ocean Eyes (Douglas Booth x Reader SMUT!)

REQUESTED/ INSPIRED BY: @xcazzax

WARNINGS: Smut, cursing, mild trigger warning

You know sometimes it’s a good thing to have a friend who can be goofy to the point where he’s a dumbass; it just means he’s willing to do anything to put a smile on your face.

For me that friend is Kells. 

We basically grew up together. He knew me better than anyone else in the world, and honestly, I can’t picture my life without the doofus. We were each other’s first kiss (it was during a game of spin-the-bottle and frankly we didn’t want that moment to happen with anyone else) and first sexual experience (I didn’t trust anyone else with my virginity and thankfully he felt the same). 

We are as close as friends can get but nothing more. For us just being in each other's lives is enough. Especially when things get hard. 

Unfortunately, while we got to know each other physically and emotionally well we also got to know each other mentally. I helped get Kells through poverty, depression, stress, and drug use while he helped me through depression, and suicidal thoughts. We were fucked up and we bore witness to that too many times to count. 

So no matter how hard I tried to downplay my dark thoughts (because I hate worrying him when he has other stuff on his plate) I could never bullshit him.

Hence why I was on the set that fateful day.

I’d had a shit-tastic day a couple days before and that night he called me just as I was about to break down. 

“Hey Kells,” I said trying (and failing) to put on a happy voice.

“Uh oh I know that voice,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said. You know like a fucking liar. “It’s just been a real long day. I’m exhausted.”

“Uh-huh, and what makes you think I’d buy that bullshit?” Dammit, I groaned internally.

I sighed and finally broke; tears erupting from my eyes. I told him everything. How I caught my boss with his grubby hands in my tip jar and how when I confronted him he said I could always earn my tips back and proceeded to grab me by my ass. I told him how I was close to losing my apartment because the rent is a bitch and a half to pay. I told him how I was tired of everything and just wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and never wake up. 

I blubbered and he, like the beautiful man he is, swooped in to save me.

“Okay here’s what’s gonna happen ‘cause I’m fuckin’ tired of this shit,” he began. “You’re gonna come to set tomorrow.”

“I have work genius,” I said.

“Yeah you do baby girl,” he said. “With me. Fuck waitressing, and fuck that piece of shit boss who’s lucky I ain’t there to beat his ass. You’re gonna come here and help me out on set, and when the time comes you’re gonna join me in the studio and on tour. You love music don’t you?”

“More than anything in the world but Kells…”

“No buts baby girl. Oh and Imma take care of your apartment,” he added.

“Honestly Kells you don’t have t⸺.”

“Yeah I fuckin’ do!” he said. “You’re my best friend Y/N, my homie for life. I fuckin’ love you y’ know? It’s not fair that after all the times you’ve taken care of me I haven’t done the same.”

“You’ve done plenty,” I said.

“Nah. Nah baby girl I haven’t. Now let me take care of you before I send Slim, Dub, and Rook down there to kidnap your ass,” he said. “I’m booking you a flight right now and your ass better be on it.”

He booked the flight and made me swear on my momma not to go back to that shitty ass diner again. I swore I wouldn’t and I didn’t. Mostly because I wasn’t lying when I said I was tired of everything.

Two days later I’m making my way to his trailer. I got in the night before and was still pretty jet-lagged but I fucking needed my dude. 

I knocked on the trailer door and an older man answered. One I recognized from years of obsessing over eighties rock and hair metal. 

“You must be Colson’s girl,” Tommy smiled.

“Y-yeah, well sort of...um…” I said oozing fangirliness. “I’m Y/N.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m Tommy Lee,” he said stepping aside to let me in.

“I know,” I said a little too enthusiastic.

“Man she pretty much has like every record yall ever made,” Kells said from his hair and make-up chair. 

“KELLS!”

“What? You do!” he said before he stood up and scooped me up in his arms. “I missed you baby girl.”

“I missed you too,” I said squeezing him back. He then let me go and stood a couple feet away. 

“So what do you think?”

“You look…” I gave him a once over. He had on a long dark wig and makeup which made him insanely glam. “Fuckin’ hot!”

“Yeah?”

“Dude you’re me of course you are,” Tommy said.

“I promise you once this movie is released there are going to be a lot more girl wanting your dick,” I added. 

Kells laughed. “I’m not so sure about that baby girl. Pretty sure if any of us is getting the honies it’s gonna be Doug.”

“Doug?” I asked.

“He’s playing Nikki,” Kells said.

“And he’s doing a fine job of putting the real man to shame,” Tommy said just as Nikki and a younger man decked out in Motley attire entered the trailer.

“Well fuck you too Tommy,” Nikki said.

“Relax dude you know I love you more,” Tommy said kissing Nikki’s cheek. 

“Yeah yeah,” said the dark wild-haired man. “I’m Nikki by the way.”

“I know,” I said again with a little too much enthusiasm. “I’m Y/N.”

“So you’re the one he never shuts up about,” Doug said. “Funny he never mentioned how perfectly stunning you are.”

Those words with that accent were just too fucking powerful. 

“Damn Doug that even turned me on,” Kells teased. 

“It’s-uh-nice to meet you, Doug,” I said. “Loved you in ‘Worried About the Boy’ by the way.”

“Oh-um-thank you,” he said. 

“Yeah baby girl wouldn’t stop drooling over you bro,” Kells said.

“KELLS!” I snapped at him.

“Just helping a homie out,” he said.

“You were pretty stunning as Boy George I’ll give him that,” I said.

“Nowhere near as stunning as you, I’m afraid. Pretty bird,” Doug said staring at me with his insanely hypnotic ocean eyes. No lie I could hear Billie Eilish singing in my head just looking at them.

“Okay, we get it you wanna fuck. You can stop flirting now,” Kells said.

“Shut up,” I snapped at him.

From that moment everything seemed to fall into place. 

The movie was filmed over the span of a couple months or so and Kells made damn sure I was there for every moment of it. Smooth talker even convinced the director to put me in as an extra during some of the scenes. I got along well with the rest of the cast and even had to contain the fangirl in me once again when I met Iwan (hey he may have been a massive dick but Ramsay was one dick I would gladly ride all throughout Winterfell). He was sweet about it though and quickly became one of my best friends. The same with Daniel.

As for Doug well...he was a different, more interesting story. 

He made it his goal to ensure I always had company. If I were on the sidelines handling Kells’s phone or looking over new song lyrics he came up with Doug (if he could) would come and sit by me. He would talk with me and smile at me making those ocean eyes of his shine to the point where I could hardly look away. If I was in a scene he would sneak a glance at me making me sneakily throw death glares at him so he’d know if he was close to fucking up a scene. We created this balance, this...harmony I guess you can say. Everything felt right when we were together, and I could only hope he could feel it too.

Hell, I even remembered what it was truly like to smile…

“Oh my god just tell him already baby girl,” Kells said one day. We were situated at a hotel and he was due to film the scene where Tommy runs around like a maniac wearing nothing but a leopard printed thong. Which he now wore under an open robe. 

“Tell him what Kells?” 

“Why you gotta bullshit me, babe? You know you can’t so why bother?”

“Remind me why I’m still friends with you?”

“Because you love me and your beautiful god-daughter too much to ever leave us,” he said. “And because we love you too much to let you go.” He then tucked a piece of his wig behind his ear. “That’s beside the point though. You are clearly fallin’ hard for Doug and he is clearly way into you.”

“Yeah...right,” I scoffed at the idea. Doug was a great guy, and perfect...far to perfect to get mixed up in…

“Yo, don’t even do that right now baby girl,” Kells said, elbows on his knees now. 

“Do what?”

“Belittle yourself like that,” he said. “That ain’t the Y/N I know. That bad bitch would never think so low of herself or deny herself what makes her happy. So why it gotta be like that?”

I sighed. “I just...I’m trying to spare us the pain I know is coming. I want to spare us the moment when he realizes I’m crazy and decides he doesn’t want that shit in his life and leaves. Is that so horrible? For me to spare us all that?”

“Yeah, it is. ‘Cause you’re not crazy,” Kells said.

“You of all people know that isn’t true,” I said.

“You’re not fucking crazy a’ight? And Doug...he would NEVER do something that fucked up,” Kells said. “Especially to you.”

“I thought the same about my ex’s,” I muttered.

“Yeah well, I told you they were dicks from the get-go. Doug though...he’s different. He loves you.”

“He is something gorgeous I ain’t gonna lie. Especially inside…”

“You see that’s why I love the idea of you two gettin’ together. That crazy beautiful smile on your face is outta this world,” Kells said smiling at me. 

“Fine I’ll have a little chat with him soon,” I said waving the proverbial white flag as we made our way out the door.

“Promise?”

“Of course,” I said. “Do me a favor though?”

“Name it.”

“Next time you wanna have a serious talk with me how ‘bout you do it when you’re not wearing that,” I motioned at the thong. 

He laughed. “You know you love it.” He wiggled his hips while holding up the robe. 

“Careful there cowboy you’re close to having a ball slip,” I teased.

He shrugged. “Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

I rolled my eyes and followed him to where we were supposed to meet up with the rest of the cast. 

Doug greeted me first with a hug and kiss to the forehead. He held me still as I lost complete control and pecked him on the lips. He was shocked (in fact I’m pretty sure they all were) but kissed back gently. All around us the guys cheered and wolf-whistled (ten guesses as to who did the latter). 

Blushing I pulled back. “Damn that some good lipstick you have on. Shit didn’t smear at all.” 

“Who says I’m wearing lipstick? Maybe you just make my lips blush,” he said.

“Or maybe your make-up girl knows how to recognize the high-end stuff from the cheap Walgreens shit,” I laughed. 

It was like that for the rest of the day.

That night I had a hard ass time trying to sleep. I was so wired and my brain so awake and excited with thoughts of Doug. I decided maybe a walk around the hotel would help clear my head.

The guys and I had rooms on the same floor and from what I could tell they were all sound asleep. If there is a God may he watch over my angels tonight. I silently prayed as I made my way down the hall. When I reached Doug’s room though I stopped in my tracks. There were noises.

“Hey Y/N would you like to maybe accompany me to dinner sometime? No...no I sound like a twat. Y/N, my love, would you like to… No, too posh. Come on Doug you can do this. You were fucking Romeo for fuck's sake!.. ‘Sup Y/N. I was thinking maybe…” He groaned. “I sound like a bloody wanker. God this is impossible.”

I had to fight back a laugh. Like seriously I thought only high school guys in movies did this sort of thing. It was pretty sweet though I have to admit.

I knocked on the door just as he started trying another line. “Doug, you awake?”

He answered the door wearing nothing but boxers (it was a pretty hot and humid night in Georgia). “Hey-uh-what are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Mind if I hang here for a bit?”

“No, not at all,” he said stepping aside to let me in. “I was just-uh-.” He cleared off his copy of the script from the bed and sat down. “Practicing tomorrows scene.”

“Dude relax. There’s no need to be nervous around me,” I said leaning against a chest of drawers directly across from where he sat. “If anything I’m the one that should be nervous.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I know what it’s like,” I said nervously. “Watching someone you care about walk away and never come back because your issues were just too much for them.”

“I wouldn’t walk away from you,” he said. “I can’t…”

I sighed. “You know what I’m sorry. I, um, shouldn’t have unloaded all that on you,” I said. 

“No, I’m glad you did,” he said. “I love that you trust me enough to be able to talk with me about it. And I’d like it if you talked with me more.”

“Really?” My heart took off like Kells’s drums. Doug nodded looking up at me with his ocean eyes. My grandfather once told me that the sun reflects in the ocean and the ocean looks on because no one knows the sun better than he. That’s how I felt right then with Doug looking at me as though I were his sun. “Weird.”

“What?”

“We’ve only known each other for a short time and yet it feels like you’re as much a part of me as I am of you.”

Doug blushed and looked down. “You’ll always be apart of me.”

I pushed off the drawers and stepped closer to him. I placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek lifting his face so he could look at me. I brushed my nose with his before connecting our lips. He kissed back wrapping an arm around me and pulling onto his lap. 

I grinded my heat against his covered length we continued to kiss and touch. Doug slowly moved his lips from my mouth to the skin of my neck. He kissed and sucked on it as his hands slid up my shirt. I pulled back and raised my arms so he could lift it off. He did and tossed it aside before bringing his lips to my breasts. 

“You’re so beautiful, love,” he said between kisses. “So beautiful.”

He hardened beneath me as I kept grinding. Eventually, after he kissed every inch of my breasts, he wrapped his arms around me, picked me up and placed me on the bed. 

He trailed kisses down my stomach until he grasped the waistband of my shorts. I lifted my hips a little and he pulled them off. He brought his mouth down to my heat sending a tingle up my spine. He kissed and sucked on me until I was practically writhing beneath him. “D-Doug I…”

My body tensed up and I released. Happy with the result he moved back up and brought his lips to mine. As we kissed I reached down and tugged at the waistband of his boxers. He knew what I wanted and helped slide them off, tossing them aside with my clothes. His length smacked my thigh, hard and thick. It made me hunger for him.

He grew nervous then. “I-uh-didn’t pack any condoms.”

“It’s okay,” I pecked him on the mouth. “I trust you.”

His body trembled as he reached down and lined himself up with my entrance. “I love you,” he muttered before pushing in. We both moaned loudly as he stretched me and filled me up.

“I love you too,” I whispered clinging to him as he gave me a moment to adjust. After a while, I gave him the okay to move. He did so gently. Thrusting as though he was afraid he would break me.

After a while, I was anything but gentle. When his thrusts picked up the pace a little the feeling was so intense I dug my nails into his back. He groaned but kept at it. My left hand then traveled downward not stopping until it grasped his perfectly round ass cheek. This caught him off guard and with a groaned he thrust right into my sweet spot.

I moaned so loud it was almost a scream and started feeling the tension build up again.

The tension grew and grew. My toes curled and I felt myself tighten around him. Suddenly it was like something inside me snapped. I moaned so loudly I hoped no one was awoken by it, as I covered Doug’s length in my juices. 

Doug’s thrusts became sloppy until with an equally loud, “FUCK! Uh, uh…” he painted the inside of me with his seed. His body trembled as he emptied himself inside me. 

Afterward, he collapsed beside me and enveloped me in his arms. 

I woke up the next morning sore and in bliss. Doug was beside me still slumbering with his arm draped over my stomach. I was about to nudge him awake when someone started knocking violently on the door.

“YO LOVEBIRDS WE’RE DUE AT THE POOL IN TEN!” Kells shouted from the other side of the door, arousing Doug from his sleep.

“GOOD FUCKING MORNING TO YOU TOO, KELLS!” I shouted back. “WAIT… HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW I WAS EVEN IN HERE?!”

“YOU AND DOUG ARE LOUD AS FUCK! DO YOU KNOW THAT?!” Iwan shouted slightly annoyed. 

“IT’S LIKE TRYING TO SLEEP TO A BLOODY PORNO MATE!” Daniel chimed in.

I cringed so hard as Doug chuckled beside me.

“SORRY!” Doug and I shouted back at the same time. 

“Jinx you owe me a shag,” Doug said getting on top of me.

“That’s not how it goes babe,” I laughed.

“I know,” he said kissing my swollen lips. “Still want a shag though.”

“Maybe later when they’re not spying on us,” I said.

“LATER SOUNDS GOOD!” Kells answered for Doug.

“Honestly I dunno how you survived all these years with him,” Doug said getting out of bed. 

“With great difficulty and weed,” I said following him to the bathroom. We took a quick shower, barely managing to not go for round two right then and there, and got dressed (Doug loaned me some clothes so I would have to double back to my room). Once we were ready we opened the door to reveal our three idiots waiting in the hall with stupid smiles plastered on their faces.

“Dude I’m only gonna say this once. She was and is my homie first. So if you hurt her I won’t hesitate to kill your ass,” Kells said staring down the much shorter Brit. “Deal?”

“Trust me if I hurt her I’ll kill my fucking self and spare you the trouble mate,” Doug said. 

Kells relaxed then and smiled. “Welcome to the family bro.”

I watched as the two loves of my life embraced forever sealing our bond as a family. 

And we were. We truly were.

Just me, my best friend, and my ocean eyed lover.

Together forever, no matter whatever.