#he has highlights because hes a fake blonde

[saym0-0]

hi

[rafescvntyclubgf]

ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣’𝕤 ℝ𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕚𝕟’ 𝔼𝕧𝕖 - ℝ𝕒𝕗𝕖 ℂ𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕟 𝕆𝕟𝕖 𝕊𝕙𝕠𝕥

+18 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓻 𝓓𝓝𝓘

𝙱𝚘𝚍𝚢𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝙿𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

warnings: pet names, swearing, angst, fighting, rough touch, kissing, degradation, name calling, possessive!rafe, jealous!reader, protective!rafe, rough oral male receiving, gunplay, spanking, overstim, cum licking (floor), choking, fingering, pussy slapping, dirty talk, teasing, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms, creampie, ownership kink, brat taming, no safe words

from this au if you want to read about the night they got together 🌹

📖 the reader has been secretly dating her bodyguard. During her NYE performance, she learned she’s not the only one he crossed the line with.

⭐ unedited ⭐

Reader's POV:

The backstage area is a whirlwind of costumes, stagehands, producers, and backup dancers. You eye yourself in the mirror, body hugged in a glittering black bodysuit with thousands of sequins that catch every stray light beam.

You should be basking in the excitement of a childhood dream come true—after all, millions of viewers are about to watch you perform a duet on New Year's Rockin’ Eve. But the second she walked inside, any excitement you might have felt went out the window.

Bella Dean.

She's the diva you're supposed to share the big closing number with: petite, curvy, absolutely stunning. Her talent is almost as big as her ego.

Bella’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. “Look at you, baby,” she coos, sashaying up to you, flashing a smile that makes your stomach flip. “You okay? You look a little sick?” She asks, pouting her lip, her tone almost demeaning; clearly commenting on your appearance and not the state of your health–just being a fuckin’ bitch.

You fake a smile as your pulse spikes. “Sick?” You ask through a breathy laugh as you raise an eyebrow at her.

“Ill? Not feeling well? Under the weather? You don’t know what sick is?” She asks, returning a nasty laugh.

“I feel just fine. Thanks for your concern,” you reply, your face twisting slightly.

"Of course," she purrs. "I think my makeup girl’s around here somewhere… Maybe it’s just because you look a little dull. I’m sure she has some highlighter or something to add a little sparkle,” she adds a little extra sweetness to her voice at the end, her cruelty making you feel like you could lose your mind as you try to remain professional. Your fingers tighten around your microphone as you try to focus on what’s coming next instead of the 5’2” nightmare beside you.

She steps out just before your cue, hitting the stage first, looking back at you with a wink and a smug smile you wish you could hurl your mic at her face.

You take a calming breath, reminding yourself that this will be a few minutes. You have a whole night ahead of you to look forward to. A night with him… Rafe stands off to the side, looking devilishly handsome in his all-black suit. He folds his arms over his broad chest, looking into the crowd, eyes trailing the space as usual.

You turn back to Bella, your eyes finding hers, her ruby-red lips curling into a wicked smile, making a knot of unease tighten in your belly. She quirks her eyebrow, stepping closer; too close for your liking. “That bodyguard of yours…” she says, tipping her head toward Rafe, making her platinum blonde curls bounce. “I haven’t seen him in a minute.”

You fiddle with your microphone, trying to seem as unbothered as possible, but she sees right through you.

“Rafe?” She chirps, making your eyebrows shoot up as his name leaves her lips effortlessly. “Mhmm… Rafey. Ugh, don’t tell me he didn’t mention me,” she tosses her hair to the side. “I’m sure he had an interview. That wasn’t brought up?”

You purse your lips, look out toward the crowd, and try to distract yourself.

“Don’t tell anyone, but we did get a little cozy on my last tour,” she leans in, giddily gossiping like she’s talking to a friend, but we both know what she’s doing. How unprofessional of me, right?” she chides as she smiles out to the crowd, giving them her million-dollar smile before blowing them a kiss.

You feel your body tremble as the adrenaline of the night and this admittance courses through your veins. Rafe did mention he’d once made a mistake by getting involved with a past client, but he never mentioned a name–her name. You swallow hard, clearing the lump in your throat as your mind starts spinning out, thinking of what the two must have done behind closed doors.

“That doesn’t sound like Rafe,” you assure.

“So you didn’t know. Ouch.” She flicks her gaze toward him again. “Doesn’t sound like you’re working the man to his full potential.”

You bite your cheek, lips tightening as you try to hold back your outburst. “Well, if you are and you don’t kiss and tell, just know he has a habit of getting too close. I just want you to be careful,” she pouts again, her voice like nails on a fucking chalkboard as the band starts to play around you.

And with that, she glides away, leaving you breathless and seething as she walks to the front of the stage. Your cheeks burn as you glance at Rafe from the wings. He catches your eyes with a concerned expression–the man no doubt reading your emotion like a book. Even though he has no idea what the fuck just happened, he knows something’s off with you. His eyebrows pinch together, beautiful features hardening.

Bella and Rafe? I can’t fuckin’ handle this right now.

The crowd roars excitedly as Bella’s voice pours out of the speakers. Your heart bangs with the opening beats of the song. You look toward the camera as it pans to you, forcing a smile. Your voice wavers as your anxiety gets the better of you–Bella looking toward the wings at Rafe as well, painting a picture of what their exchanges might have looked like in the past, her stealing little glances at him from center stage instead of you.

The lights sweep over you, and the first note leaves your lips. Your muscles tighten as the pitch wavers, just a hair off, but it’s enough for Bella to shoot a look back at you. Your stomach aches, heartbreaking, as you feel yourself starting to fumble while Bella shines. You push harder–the melodies leaving your lips sounding anything but natural.

Bella steps forward, delivering her verse perfectly, making the crowd scream. Her eyes twinkle as she passes you, making your blood boil. You lose track of the music for a split second, coming in a beat too late, making the blonde smirk in your peripheral vision. Fucking cunt.

You take a deep breath with the guitar break, straining to gather your emotions, trying to remind yourself of the night and how you’ll hate yourself if you let her ruin it for you. You turn toward her, melting your voices together in perfect harmony. The tension between you is thick, but it doesn’t read that way–the crowd, eating up every second of the duet.

The music cuts and the crowd goes wild. Bella moves toward you for the planned hug, but you step away and wave to the crowd. As she waves, you feel her arm wrap around your waist, pulling you in for a half-hug. Bella leans in, looking up at you, feigning concern. “You were a bit shaky. Are you okay?”

“Fuck off,” you hiss through a gritted smile to the crowd.

She gasps surprisedly before resting her head on your shoulder. “Don’t be upset, babes. Let me know if you are ever in the market for a new bodyguard. I always find the best ones,” she winks. “Have a happy New Year.”

You resist the urge to run, walking off the stage gracefully before storming toward your manager, taking your purse off her hands before snapping your focus to Rafe. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me it was Bella you messed around with, huh?” You hiss, quiet enough to meet his ears only as you glare at him.

“This isn’t the right place,” he warns as he looks through you even still, eyes scanning the crowd.

“No, Rafe,” you snap. “This is the perfect fucking place. I just found out about your little fling from Bella. Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Rafe steps closer, looking you in the eyes, making you draw a little breath. “Not now.”

“Forget it,” you scoff, and before he can stop you, you flee the scene, disappearing into the thick crowd of backstage traffic. You walk through the double doors, looking to the left at the long line of dressing rooms before taking a risk, pushing through the side door.

The winter wind whips as you walk through the tight, dark alley, heels clicking against the asphalt with each step as you head toward the main street. Fans and paparazzi push in around you, yelling your name, but you keep your head down, pushing ahead.

You look down the block, knowing your hotel is close, but how close? You shove through the thick crowd, still waiting to get into the venue. The middle of the road is packed, too, with a barrage of people gathered, waiting for the ball to drop. You lift your eyes for a moment. Halfway there… You cross your arms tighter around your waist, trying to keep warm while holding yourself back from answering the phone vibrating like crazy in your purse.

Silence.

You sigh in relief as you walk into the swanky downtown hotel. The noise behind you falls away. The lobby's hush and glamor starkly contrast what’s happening on the other side of the revolving door—velvet chairs, marble floors, and the soft golden glow of chandeliers hanging overhead.

You draw a deep breath and blow it out slowly, looking to your left. Your head hangs with mental exhaustion as you step toward the hotel bar, pushing through the door before heading toward the rail.

You order your drink, asking for a double, hearing your voice tremble with anger and stress. You stare at your reflection in the barback's mirror, your makeup perfectly done, stage outfit on; your hairstyle to perfection, but that was just a facade. You felt far from perfect underneath–completely broken.

Rafe seems so poised and professional. It was so hard to break his icy exterior…

As childish as it sounds, you felt special. He seemed so untouchable that when you were able to break through, you felt like maybe there was something different about you.

He didn’t seem like someone who would sleep with his clients, and now you can’t help but think just how many people he had took care of like he was taking care of you.

Bella… What if it wasn’t special, though? What if it was just a one-time thing–a fling, and Bella was trying to get in your head? You grab your drink, lifting it to your lips, downing half of it fast, letting it sear your throat, trying to numb your thoughts.

She wanted this to happen. You hated yourself for letting her affect you the way she did. The truth is, she saw you fall apart in front of her, catching every missed step and note; each misstep was a win for her.

The bar is quiet, the low roar of the New Year’s celebration humming outside. The soft jazz piano swells in the background, paired with the soft conversations of the guests dressed to the nines. No one bats an eye at your arrival; no one asks for anything from you, letting you sit for a moment and breathe.

“Sir!” You hear the shrill call of someone from the lobby. A sudden commotion on the other side of the door pulls you out of your peace as Rafe storms in. He looks down at his phone, eyes scanning from left to right. Your heart falls as he zeros in on you, his nostrils flaring with anger, contrasting with the look of relief in his striking blue eyes.

He sucks his teeth, holding himself back from cursing you out on sight. His Gucci suit jacket is half undone, his toffee-colored hair mussed, and his sharp jaw is set in a straight line. He looks fuckin’ angry, completely winded, like he's been fighting through thick crowds, going to Hell and back to get to you. Good. Let him be angry. Why should I have to suffer alone?

Rafe makes a beeline for you, his long legs crossing the room in a few strides. The bartender walks over, asking how he can serve him, his voice quickly fading as he sees the look in Rafe’s eyes. Your bodyguard thumbs through his wallet, slapping $100 on the counter before grabbing your arm.

“We’re leaving,” he hisses, tugging you off the barstool. You gasp, your unfinished drink sloshing onto the floor as he steers you back toward the exit.

You yank your arm back, disregarding the curious glances around you, shooting daggers at your brooding bodyguard. “You don’t get to boss me around right now,” you hiss as you fight him off, but it only makes his fingers twist a little tighter around your arm.

“Once wasn’t enough?” He snarls.

“Spare me the lecture,” you sass. “M’not in the mood for you —fuckin’ drama queen.”

Rafe leans in, his warm breath hitting your skin as he pulls you toward the elevator. “Do you have any fucking idea how reckless that was? Runnin’ out there alone on the busiest night of the year? In the busiest city? Are you insane? And you’re alone-”

“Did I look alone?” You snap as you lift what’s left of your drink. “Didn’t pour this shit myself,” you laugh tauntingly before shooting it back.

He scoffs annoyedly as his grip on you tightens even more. “So you’d rather run away and have somethin’ awful happen to you, risk my whole fuckin’ career than talk to me about what you found out?”

“Correct,” you clip. “Now, let go of me.”

“Let’s make a deal, tough girl. You can get outta my fuckin’ grip, then you can go. I happen to like you... I’m not some insane stalker who wants to wear your fuckin’ skin. Aight? It ain’t safe out there for you, and for some reason, you think that your best option is to run,” he hisses as he bangs his fist against the up button.

The elevator door glides shut, leaving the two of you alone. You both stand next to each other, seething for different reasons. Rafe tosses your arm away when you fight against him one last time, making you push out an exaggerated breath.

Elevator music fills the space around you, so light and cheery it’s almost satirical at the moment. You stand side to side with your bodyguard, arms crossed over your chests, both of you waiting for the other to break.

“You have no right-”

“Run off again, and I swear to fuckin’ Christ,” he cuts you off.

“You wouldn't be mad? Really?”

“‘Course I would be. I'd be fuckin’ irritate, but I’d wait ‘til I got back to the hotel to say somethin’ like a fuckin’ adult. Not run away like a goddamn child-”

“I’m not-”

“A child,” he cuts you short, finishing your sentence as he turns toward you, his voice low and lethal. “You’re not a fuckin’ kid. Aight? You’re a grown-ass woman. Start actin’ like it before you get yourself hurt.”

You turn toward his chest, too, and look up into his eyes, not backing down. “You told me you once crossed a line with a client but never said it was her. She wasn't even mentioned on your resume, Rafe. Why was that?” You ask breathily, letting your defiance and disgust bleed through.

“That shit doesn't change the fact that that was a bad decision, princess,” he returns your same tone, that term of endearment he loves to use coming out as anything but endearing.

“Let’s talk about good decisions, Rafe. Her? I'm questioning you and your fuckin’ taste level. Bella is a cunt. It would have been nice to know this before sharing the stage with her so I could have been prepared for her bullshit instead of being blindsided and ruining that moment for myself.”

“Ruining your moment? What the hell are you talking about?” He asks in disbelief. “Your performance was perfect.”

“The fuck it was, Rafe,” you scoff as you step out of the elevator without him. “Your performance was perfect,” you mock him. “Bella’s performance was perfect, Rafe… And tomorrow, when there’s a review on Rolling Stone, maybe you’ll get it through your thick fuckin’ head.”

Rafe runs his fingers through his hair; frustration etched into every line on his handsome face. “Baby,” he mumbles as he softens his tone and closes the space between you and him. “I screwed up by not tellin’ you before tonight. M’sorry. But you can’t keep runnin’ off when you’re mad. I’m your bodyguard; I have to protect you whether you like me or not.”

You wave your keycard in front of the door handle, rolling your eyes at his apology, if you could even call it that. “Well, Rafe… Maybe you should be better at protecting your secrets,” you grumble, going to shut the door behind you, but Rafe clutches it tight, pushing against you with minimal effort, making you growl in frustration. You toss your clutch onto the sofa, kick off your heels in protest, and rip off your earrings for dramatic effect.

"You lied by omission, Rafe. You said you 'made a mistake' once with a client but never told me it was Bella. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t find out?”

He sighs as he strips himself of his jacket, tossing it off before loosening his tie. “Jesus Christ, baby. I was gonna tell you. Just not right before you had to perform with her."

"How considerate,” you breathe, your sarcasm palpable, making his cheeks flush with anger.

“Bella is toxic-”

“No shit,” you laugh.

“She'll do anythin’ to get under your skin-” he starts.

“Jesus, Rafe! Tell me something I don’t fuckin’ know!”

“I screwed up with her, yes… But do you know how long ago that was? That was at the start of my career. I was still tryin’ to figure shit out. I was young-”

“So, is this a serial thing for you, Cameron? Or am I an exception?” You ask, with a lifted brow as you pop open a bottle of De Venoge Louis, eyes shifting over to him. “Just another one of your favorite pop stars?”

“Enough,” he groans tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration as he paces the room. “You know that's not how I see you… You gotta stop.”

“And how do you see me?” You ask. “I know how I see you…” You mutter, foregoing the glasses altogether, lifting the bottle to your lips instead.

“Not gonna tell you how I feel right now.”

“What the hell does that mean,” you laugh, dribbling champagne on your chin as you look up at him, fluttering your lashes in confusion.

“Because you’re actin’ irrational. This is not the time.”

“Stop telling me that it’s not the time, Rafe. Oh my god,” you whine, voice brimming with frustration.

“I get that you’re upset,” he scolds. “But runnin’ off into the city alone after a show and putting yourself at risk like that over Bella Dean was fuckin’ stupid, regardless, and you know that. Come back here… And lose your shit. Hell, you’re yellin’ at me right fuckin’ now. Only difference is you’re safe.”

“Sorry for makin’ you do your job, Rafe.”

He nods his head, a look in his eyes like he’s going absolutely insane. He crosses his arms over his chest, his biceps flexed, looking like it could tear the fabric apart. “N’to be clear. Chasin’ you is my job?”

“Dunno. Wasn’t at the job interview… Not quite sure what your scope of work was, but I assume the details of your job didn’t include sleepin’ with me either-”

“You’re begging for trouble, you know that?” He shouts, his loud voice hitting your chest hard, making the hair on the back of your neck stand straight.

“M’Terrified,” you giggle, trying to hide your nervousness as your heart rate starts to climb. His eyes narrow on yours–a mix of anger and something darker.

He walks over, looking down at you perched on the velvet lounge chair. You gasp as his hand comes around your throat, his grip tightening and tightening. He lifts you to your feet, pulling you chest to chest. “Keep talkin’ back and see what the fuck happens.”

You look at him with dead eyes, seemingly unimpressed by his threats, letting your eyes roll in the back of your head. Rafe tightens his grip a little more, making you sputter out a breath.

“Keep rollin’ those eyes at me, too, while we’re at it,” he growls. “You think I won’t give you a lesson?”

Adam's apple bobs in his throat, lip snarling as you refuse to submit. Rafe yanks you forward, crushing his lips against yours in a deep, desperate kiss. You go to shove him away, but his fingers find your hair, twisting into the strands, tugging you closer, forcing you in place. The air leaves your lungs as he shoves you into the wall, never breaking your kiss.

When he finally tears his lips away, you’re both breathless, chests heaving, longing for more.

“You’re fuckin’ impossible,” he rasps, blue eyes blazing with lust, his rasp voice taut and hoarse. “Run off, you don’t fuckin’ listen, and then you come back here and pick stupid fuckin’ fights, spoutin’ off shit we both know ain’t true.”

“Maybe you deserve it, Rafe. Did you ever think about that-” Rafe silences you with another kiss–more longing and possessive than the last. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him into your lips.

Rafe breaks away again, leaving you chasing his lips. He rests his forehead against yours, the two of you panting into each other, desperate for more.

“I’m gonna teach you a lesson,” he whispers, voice vibrating with tension. “Next time you try this shit, just know I’ll chase you down. Next time you roll your fuckin’ eyes at me, I’ll pin you where you stand. You can’t keep doin’ this shit without consequences.”

Your heart pounds in your ears, pussy pulsing as you listen to all of his threats– his words honestly having the opposite effect. Looks like he’s the one begging for trouble.

“Fuckin’ do it, Rafe,” you dare him, smiling against his lips, “you think I'm scared of you?"

“Think you're braver than you should be, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, Rafey? You gonna punish me?” You ask.

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do,” he says, firm and cold, making goosebumps spread across your body. He leans in, pinning you against the wall, pressing his big body into you. Rafe kisses along your neck, teeth scraping your ear. “Don’t even think we have a safe word. Do you?” He asks, and you can hear that crooked smile in his voice.

“N-No,” you whisper, trying to recall, but you honestly don’t think you could at this moment, the way his body surrounds you, his rich cologne clouding your senses completely.

“Shit, baby… Guess you’re outta luck.” You gasp as he picks you up off your feet, slinging your body over his shoulder. “Maybe if you start behaving-” Crack! He slaps your upper thigh harshly, making you scream. “Maybe we can think of one together, hmm?”

Rafe throws you down on the bed, making the last bit of air in your lungs escape. He strips himself out of his button-down shirt, quickly working himself out of his pants before tossing his belt and gun onto the bed.

“Wh-What are you gonna do with those?” You ask, hearing your voice tremble.

Rafe clears the space between you, lowering his hands on the mattress as you look wide-eyed at him.

“Aww, princess… You know me. I love leavin’ out little details,” he smiles wickedly.

Rafe grabs the front of your bodysuit, tearing the delicate material open effortlessly, sending rhinestones and beads flying onto the bed and the hardwood floor as he tears away the custom piece without batting an eye. He pulls the material down your thighs, tossing it to the floor before grabbing your hips, manhandling you to your belly on the bed, your ass in the air, and your feet on the floor.

“FUCK!” You scream as his big hand comes down, slapping your bare ass, leaving behind a tingling sensation. Before you can even react, he does it a second time, then a third, making tears pool in your eyes and wetting the mattress. “I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“The fuck was that, tough girl?” He asks through a breathless laugh.

“I-I… Fuck you,” you whimper, trying to stand strong. Rafe grabs a fistful of hair, yanking you back, his head lowered to match your eyes.

“Fuck me? You told me to do this shit, baby girl… You’re the boss. I’m just doin’ my job.” Rafe uses his hold on your hair to push your face into the mattress, pushing two thick fingers into your soaked core. “Listen up, princess,” Rafe huffs. “You deserve this. I’m not gonna put up with this shit, aight? You’re lucky I’m even fuckin’ touchin’ you.” Rafe pumps his fingers in your pussy, finger-fucking you mercilessly as you try your best to wiggle away. “Stop squirmin’,” he chides. “Hands behind your fuckin’ back.”

The second you do, Rafe grips the against your lower back, the palm of his hand clapping against your ass as he fingers stroke your G-spot. Your thighs start to tremble, pussy tightening around his big fingers. “Fuck, Rafe,” you moan.

“Yeah? You wanna cum?” He taunts.

“Please,” you whisper.

“Think it’ll fix that little attitude of yours?”

“Yes, fuck!” You cry.

“I’m not sure it will…” Rafe sighs sadly. “I’ll let you cum tonight. But I swear if this shit happens again. M’not… Not until you’re at my hotel door beggin’ and cryin’ for my dick like a whore.” Rafe pulls his hands out of your soaked cunt, slapping your pussy fast and tough, making you cum hard, sobbing as your pussy flutters around nothing, your hands still pinned tightly against your back. Rafe fucks his fingers into your cunt, darting them inside you at an insane pace, and seconds later, you’re coming again, pussy gushing around his hand, landing on the floor with a little splash.

And even then, he doesn’t stop, his fingers just sopping through the mess as you fight against him, crying in overstimulation and pleasure. “Rafe, please. Please. Please.”

“What?” He spits.

“I-I… Mphff… Safe… Safeword,” you hiccup.

He booms out a laugh. Drawing both his hands back in surrender. Completely mocking you and the mess he made of his favorite girl. “You’re kiddin’ me?” He teases as he rests his hands on the bed, lowering himself to your ear, his chest brushing against your bare back. “Safeword?”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” you pant. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Jeopardizing my job, your life, our fuckin’ relationship over a bitch then means nothin’ to me. That’s the least you should be,” Rafe scolds as he grabs your hips, rolling you to your back.

You look between your thighs, eyes following Rafe as he reaches for his gun. He lifts it, making a show of it, eyeing the weapon in his hand. Your eyes fall down his body, watching his muscular chest rise and fall with his rapid breathing, his gold chain glinting in the dim. The ridges of his abs deepen with every level breath, his hard cock tenting out the fabric of his white Calvins, leaving you craving him even more.

He clicks on the safety, lifting the gun, pointing it at your pussy, slapping the piece against your inner thighs. “Spread your shit,” he mumbles. You widen your thighs on the mattress, your glossy cunt dripping with your arousal. Rafe presses the cool muzzle against your pulsing clit, making your muscles jump and your thighs drawn in. “I said ‘spread your shit,’” he shouts, making you flinch. “What’s it gonna take for you to listen? Huh?”

“I’m sorry, baby. I-”

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Daddy,” he mocks your fucked-out voice again. “Tell me somethin’ I don’t know,” Rafe repeats your words from the fight as he starts to rub little figure eights on your clit. Your body trembles with adrenaline as he continues to work you over with his handgun. The knot in your stomach starts to tighten as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to your peak. “You gonna cum… off a gun? You that big of a slut, princess? You don’t even need a dick?” Rafe mumbles, and right when you’re about to fall apart below him, he pulls it away, leaving you whimpering and fussing for more, your bottom lip wobbling as you look up into your boyfriend’s beautiful, cruel eyes.

“Rafe, you’re being mean…” You whisper, your voice barely above a hush. “I said, ‘I was sorry’.”

“And, I told you not to run away again… N’look what happened. Get on your knees.”

You climb off the bed, stumbling slightly from your weak knees. You land on the floor, crawling the rest of the way to Rafe, glassy-eyed and pouty-lipped. You kneel before him, watching as Rafe lifts the gun slightly, mirroring his dick, the tip of it coated with your slick.

“Suck it.”

Your heart starts to race as you look down the barrel of the gun. You look up at Rafe as you wrap your lips around the end of it, feeling your heart bang in your chest.

You take the cold metal to the back of your throat, taking as much as you can get, gagging around his weapon, sucking it clean, bobbing back and forth with your eyes on him. Rafe looks down at you hungrily, desperately wanting your lips on him and giving him the same service.

“Take ‘em off,” Rafe mumbles, and you slide your wet lips off the gun, racing to pull down his boxers fast. And without warning, he shoves himself in your mouth, pushing as far as his dick would go making you sputter and gag. You reach out, grabbing his tights, squeezing tightly, losing all vision as your eyes fill with tears.

You blink your tears away as he slides in and out of your swollen lips, grunting and moaning, using your mouth like a toy. The sounds around you were downright pornographic, making your pussy weep down your thighs. Your mouth leaked as well, saliva and precum dripping out of the seam.

Rafe finally pulls you off his cock, leaving you gasping for a breath. Before he can give you a command, you wrap your lips around him again in a desperate attempt for mercy, swirling and sucking him off just like he loves. You cradle his heavy balls in your hand, and he throats his hand back to the ceiling, a broad smile spreading on his perfect lips. “Atta girl… Fuck, that’s my good girl,” he praises.

You bob your head back and forth, stroking where your mouth won’t reach, trying desperately to please him. You can feel his cock throb and swell on your tongue, his breathing quickening by the second.

“Better swallow it all, princess, or we’re gonna be back at square one,” he mumbles, only half-kidding. He looks down at you, watching you throat him with all you have, his plump bottom lip tucked between his teeth.

Rafe pulls out of your mouth, jerking his cock in your face as you lay out your tongue. His warm cum shoots out of his tip, coating your lips and tongue. Your eyes flutter open as you swallow it all, licking your lips to clean up the rest of the mess as you look up at him.

He clicks his tongue, letting his gaze fall, eyeing a few loose pearls of cum decorating the floor. You rest your hands on the hardwood, lowering yourself to lick it up.

“Fuck, princess,” he moans as he looks down at you in lust and adoration. Rafe reaches for you, pulling you off the floor and into his strong arms. You wrap yourself in his, dressing your arms around his neck as his lips press against yours for a tender kiss.

“I’m sorry, baby,” you whisper.

“I’m sorry, princess,” he soothes. “No more punishments. Alright? You took that shit like a good girl. Let me take care of you, yeah?” He mumbles against your lips.

“Yeah,” you whisper. “Thank you…”

“Don’t thank me… This right here—this is what I’ve been wantin’ to do all night.”

“Yeah?” You ask breathily, pecking at his lips.

“You kiddin’ me?” He chuckles as he lays you down on the bed, burying himself in his neck before kissing his way up to your ear. “Just wanted to take care of you. Make you feel good. Hard to think about much else when I see you up there. Can barely focus on keepin’ you safe when I’m just thinkin’ about fuckin’ this perfect pussy,” he mumbles as he slaps his tip against your clit.

Rafe slides his cock between your drenched folds, swirling his head around your hole before sinking in deep, bottoming you out with his long, thick dick. You grab two fistfuls of sheets as he grabs your hips in his big ringed hands, pulling out almost entirely before slamming back in.

“So good, baby… Fuck. Damn, you look so good takin’ my cock,” he moans as he starts rutting in and out. You couldn’t even get a word out with the way his dick was slamming in and out of your pussy.

Your eyes roll back in your head, boobs bouncing with each thrust of his hips as you go absolutely dumb on his dick. Rafe speeds up the pace, making your body tremble uncontrollably. Tears of pleasure stream down your cheeks, wetting the pillow below. Rafe reaches down, brushing them away with his thumbs, slipping one between your lips to let you suck yourself numb as he drills into you.

“Come on, princess,” Rafe hums as he feels your body start to tighten around him. “Cream all over my cock. Show me what a good girl does, huh? Let me fill you up. Been so good for me,” he groans as he reaches down, rubbing circles on your throbbing clit as the coil in your belly gets tighter and tighter.

You scream his name, cumming all over his big cock as he fucks you through your orgasm. Rafe gives you a few more rough thrusts, emptying his load deep inside as his hungry lips devour yours, swallowing your whimpers and cries.

“You okay, baby?” He asks sweetly against your lips.

“M’perfect, Rafe,” you coo.

“You are,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours. “You mad at me still?” Rafe asks as he presses a gentle kiss on your lips.

“No,” you whisper. “Can’t stay mad at you, baby.”

“Mhmm… I know the feelin’,” he laughs. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. You snag your phone out of your nightstand, pulling out your phone, seeing back-to-back messages from your manager.

Claire Baby: Rafe said you were ok. Stop running away. Thnx.

Claire Baby: Rafe mentioned that there was a history between him and Bella

Claire Baby: I told him to save it til after the show so it didn’t fuck with your chemistry

Claire Baby: I had no idea she was such a bitch. I’m sorry. Pls Forgive me.

“Rafe Cameron,” you sigh.

“Mhmm…” He asks as he pulls out of your pussy nice and slow, watching his warm cum leak out of your puffy hole, swirling his fingers around before stuffing it back inside.

“Rafe…”

“What?” He asks as he tilts his head slightly, lifting his fingers for you to suck them clean. You wrap your lips around his fingers, looking in his beautiful blue eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me you tried to say something?” You ask softly as you look back up at him.

“‘Cause I deserved it… Shoulda told you from the start,” he answers. “No more secrets…”

“No more running,” you whisper.

You roll your head to the side, catching the time on the clock. 11:58 PM… Rafe kisses your cheek lovingly, wrapping his big body in yours. “How do you see me, Rafe,” you ask softly, pulling his focus back to your eyes. He brushes your hair off your face, cupping your cheek in his hand.

“Well, when I see you, I see the future. I see my dream girl. I see the only thing I want to see.”

You bite your lips, fluttering your lashes, the night's emotions getting the better of you.

“I see the woman that I love, princess.”

“You love me?” You whisper, voice laced with tears.

Rafe pulls you into his lips as the world outside the window roars with the new year, the clock striking midnight as your lips meet, your bodies tangled in sheets.

“Of course I love you, baby,” he mumbles.

“I love you too.”

[crosby-interesting]

i love ur blog so much. u allow truth. sadly it seems these days on gossip blogs u aren’t allowed to reveal facts, decipher lies, or knock down the white picket fence of perfection without being accused of being misogynistic. Since when did women holding other women accountable become misogynistic? Since when did exposing male cheaters who have sex with random women from restaurants, hotels, & clubs while they have pregnant girlfriends, wives, children, & dog moms waiting at home become misogynistic? Since when did exposing escorts & prostitution services that essentially promote human trafficking become misogynistic? As a feminist i believe the word “misogynistic” is sadly being diluted & loosing value, bc people carelessly throw it around to defend against any negative accusations surrounding women who’re linked to players they admire. I like this player so u aren’t allowed to call out him or his woman’s bullshit & if u do then ur misogynistic. U discuss Auston Mathews having TWO former prostitute girlfriends & CURRENT ex prostitute gf Megan Turner? ur misogynistic. U discuss Adam larsson cheating with girls the past THREE years on Vera soderberg while he’s away traveling for games? ur misogynistic. U discuss Lauren Kyle ignoring video evidence of Connor Mcdavid cheating with a college girl & accepting the public humiliation of the the scandal just accepting an “Im sorry” engagement a year later? ur misogynistic. U discuss Nico Hischier & Timo Meier hiring a spain prostitute to spend 3 days with them on a yacht LAST WEEK & following her on IG while she has pictures for the prices of lap dance, private dance, & “extra services” on her IG highlights? ur misogynistic. U discuss Elias Pettersson prostitute call girl -girlfriend Katelyn Byrd exposed on surveillance video kissing & being fondled by married musician Alex Pall, then his wife crying on IG stories after exposing the affair while Katelyn is getting her paparazzi pics with Alex outside of Nobu a week after the scandal? ur misogynistic. U discuss Katelyns other scandal of the ex sugar daddy FIANCÉ who publicly accused her of secretly taking large sums of money out of his accounts after he had already bought her FAMILY a house & discovered she was cheating on him with a younger man? ur misogynistic. U discuss Kasperi Kapanen intentionally make Dubai prostitute Matleena Laakso his girlfriend, so he can finally cheat with peace & understanding? ur misogynistic. U discuss Penny Liarakos cheating on William Nylander at the start of their ex relationship & running secret puck bunny tumblrs with her best friend & currently leaving Willy weird comments using fake accounts on IG? ur misogynistic. U discuss Mathew Tkachuk being given an ultimatum and forced by Papa Kieth to prospose to the blonde( who he unfortunately is just not that into) on the back of a fishing boat in an old t shirt & swim shorts while she’s wearing a white bridal shower dress bc she was actually involved in Papa Kieths plan, & Papa set up the whole proposal himself at 9am on a random Thursday because Papa was tired of Matt cheating with the mixed girls & latinas from the Miami bars? ur misogynistic. U discus Kathy Leutner working for a man who provided prostitution services & has victims accusing him of trying to recruit them into prostitution? ur misogynistic. U discuss Sidney Crosby's public humiliation ritual fcked up relationship? ur misogynistic.- Let’s be honest girls, none of those discussions are misogynistic no matter how much the truth hurts, as much as you want to deny it pls stop mislabeling facts as misogyny.If u can’t face the truth ur lucky enough to have the option of logging out & going back to living ur delusions of grandeur & perfection. Holding women accountable for their actions or lack there of is not misogynistic & calling out their male partners deceptions is definitely not misogynistic . I will be gathering any info of the NHL prostitution /cheating circus & sending it in. im tired of the bullshit.

-🇲🇽

This all sounds like a blessing! Thank you!

[peach-star-drops]

Kiyoomi cannot believe he ever thought that Hinata Shoyo was nice. 

He’d been blinded by the other boy's idiot routine, thinking that the redhead was an over-excited puppy dog, that he failed to notice that Hinata was actually the devil. 

Kageyama took a sip of his beer from his place next to him, sighing. “No one ever believes me when I warn them.” Yeah. Kiyoomi had not believed the setter when he’d first been introduced - well, reintroduced, technically Kiyoomi had gone to two years of the Youth All Japan volleyball camp with him, but he hadn’t seen the man again until Hinata had dragged him over after a match against the Alders - and Kageyama had sighed, and apologized for his evil boyfriend. 

Everyone on the Jackals had been confused of course. Because Hinata Shoyo was not evil. It did not help that Hinata, at the time, had let out a loud squawk, slapped the back of Kageyama’s head, and claimed that Kageyama was the evil one. Everyone had just accepted it - Kiyoomi included. 

Now, though, he knew that Kageyama was right. Hinata was the evil one. 

“You’re just lucky he’s no longer as bad as he was.” Kageyama scowled. “He locked Tsukishima and Yamaguchi on the roof. In the rain. It started hailing on them.” Kiyoomi has no idea who Yamaguchi is and only a vague idea of who Tsukishima is, but he feels a pang of sympathy. They’d been subjected to the true evil that was Hinata Shoyo as he was now being subjected to the evils of Hinata Shoyo. 

Because it had been Hinata Shoyo who had grinned up at him, all innocent and sweet and fake, and told him he just had to come out to the bar with them tonight, please sakusa-san!  

And Kiyoomi, the fucking idiot had agreed, because at the time he thought Hinata Shoyo was his friend. 

Hinata Shoyo was not his friend. 

Hinata Shoyo was not his friend because he had come in, thirty minutes late to the agreed meeting time - leaving him alone with Kageyama, who was actually a cool guy even if Kiyoomi had no idea what to talk to him about beyond “Hey good game.” - with Miya fucking Atsumu. 

Miya fucking Atsumu in a mini skirt. 

He took a long sip of his whiskey, staring at Miya fucking Atsumu at the bar, his head thrown back in a laugh, accentuating his collar bones with the loose top that he wore, something cropped that showed off those fucking delicious abbs, and his fucking high wasted mini skirt. A high-waisted mini skirt that left almost nothing to the imagination, just the brush of the fabric falling in sync with the curve of the blonde's ass and highlighting his frankly unfairly attractive thighs that Kiyoomi wanted to bite. 

God dammit. 

“At least you haven’t been handcuffed to him,” Kageyama took another sip of his beer, shooting Kiyoomi a serious look. “The second our old team captain became a cop, he stole a pair of handcuffs and forced Diachi and Suga to be handcuffed together until they finally talked out the fact they’d been in love with each other. He threw away the key. Diachi had to call his boss.”

Again, Kiyoomi had no fucking idea who Diachi and Suga were, but the sympathy was there. 

Miya fucking Atsumu laughed again. He took another long sip of whiskey. 

And then Hinata Shoyo turned, catching his eyes and had the audacity to wink at him. 

“I’m gonna murder him,” He informed the opposite hitter’s boyfriend. “No seriously, I’m going to murder your boyfriend, Kageyama.” “We’ve all tried.” A dark glint passed in the other's face. “Good luck.”

Kiyoomi let out a long, low breath, then stood, taking his empty glass with him to the bar. Settling into the seat beside Miya fucking Atsumu, he quickly ordered another one before turning to his setter. 

Only to find Miya fucking Atsumu too busy talking to Hinata to spare him a glance. 

He downed the whiskey as soon as it came out. 

Hinata winked at him again, pulling Atsumu into a hug with his hands placed way too low on Atsumu’s hips. He almost let out a growl. 

Yeah, Kiyoomi decided. Hinata Shoyo was not his friend. 

[cupidvision]

𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹 𝓰𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰

—> how to choose? close your eyes, clear your mind, and open your intuition. then think about the numbers, the images, the feeling they gives you. then choose

banners by @k1ssyoursister @anitalenia @cafekitsune

1->3

pile 1

signs this is your pile: 5, 7, taurus, scorpio, distractions, uncomfortableness, deep connection, blond hair, lighter skin, blue, black, brown hair , brown eyes

the hierophant reversed, 7 of cups reversed

i’m seeing that you both are in 2 very different energies. this may be an illusion though, maybe you aren’t so different as you think. taurus and scorpio are sister signs, they’re opposite but the same. i’m seeing that you want more freedom in the relationship, or in your life in general, but the other person may not be allowing you that because of their personal beliefs. i’m sensing that you blindly follow this person, and doing this has lead you both into a weird position in the relationship where you feel like your not on the same page. in the continuation of your relationship, i’m seeing that you could be leaning more into this energy. i have a feeling that once or if you start doing your own thing, this person is going to feel like their losing power over you, or just losing you in general. i am seeing that eventually , you can both come to an alignment of some sort , but before you get to this point, you’ll feel confusion and questioning the relationship. i am seeing that you will continue to be generous to this person, and i think you may feel really connected to them

pile 2

this pile gets a little 18+ so please be ware of that

signs that this is your pile: cancer, leo, gemini, positivity, energetic, humor, smiling, big eyes, blue eyes, baby face, blond hair, brown hair with blond highlights, glasses, big lips, piercings, brown skin, thin eyebrows

knight of wands, king of cups

if you and this person aren’t together, then i’m seeing they will take action on you in the future or if you are together, they’re going to make a grand gesture. they feel really passionate about you, and i’m seeing it will continue. this relationship is healing you. i have a feeling they’re also helping you be emotionally stable, and this relationship is very comforting to you. you both have a lot of compassion for each other, and you guys want to take action on each other. maybe in your future you will have many dates, go traveling, or on long drives. there could also be a lot of sexual tension in this relationship, and you guys are kind of kinky😭. you could like being degraded, and they could like spanking and choking you.. LMAO

pile 3

signs that this is your pile: 10, 1, 9, 6, scorpio, jupiter, sagittarius, long or fake eyelashes, piercings, eyeliner, straight eyebrows, black hair, blonde hair, siren eyes, bigger lips, shoulder length hair

wheel of fortune reversed, 6 of cups

this relationship is heading to bad things. the relationship is going to lose control, or you and your partner will lose control. i’m seeing you guys could be leading to negativity. and i don’t think someone wants to change, or both of you don’t want to change. i’m sending a break up , or at least a really negative stage right now. the reason you guys are still holding on is because this relationship is what’s comfortable and familiar to you. your a reminiscing kind of person, who thinks of their memories a lot, and i’m seeing you know you will miss the good memories. “i don’t want to leave you” “im sorry” those are the statements coming through. i’m seeing that you could’ve known this person for a very long time, and at one point this relationship gave you happiness. things have seemingly turned sour. in the 6 of cups card, it seems a little boy is giving his cup to this little girl, but he looks sad. this is giving me “this is my last message to you” vibes. or “let me give this to you before we let each other go”

[sparklingmusicofstars]

Geordo's physical description

His face :

Geordo has short sparkling blonde hair with sectioned bangs, and blue eyes with long eyelashes. He is almost always smiling and rarely show an angry expression. His smile is almost always fake when he is not with Catarina but it's so flawless that almost no one notice. His smile can also have a lot of meanings like his black smile to threaten someone or his sadistic smile. With Catarina his smile is alway sweet and gentle.

His body :

Geordo is a tall man with a good built and figure. He doesn't look like it but he is quite strong. He is an orthodox blonde-haired, blue-eyed fairy tale prince at first glance and is always neatly dressed. According to Catarina he also has a very nice scent.

His voice :

He has a sweet seductive voice that it quite pleasant. His voice actor is also a singer so I guess it's normal.

His aura :

He exudes an elegant refined aura beffiting a prince and always looks perfect on the outside. Though when he is angry or displeased he can be incredibly scary (according to Marsha he looks like a sadistic devil) that makes people shiver and run away. But on the outside he looks kind and friendly when he is actually twisted and cold.

The style of clothes :

He seems to love suits and caps and other elegant things. His favorite colours seems to be red and white and he often wears a necklace with the kingdom's insignia. He also seems to really love expensive and golden things.

His special skill :

Geordo's nickname in high society is "the perfect prince" because he is a genius who can do anything without even thinking much about it. He is incredibly good at swordmanship but not unbeatable (Silva is better than him and Kai Gerran as good as him) He is incredibly smart and works very fast and, like Mary he is very at ease in social events and very popular with women. But Geordo's ability that is the most highlighted in the series is how good he is at making romantic advances without any experiences before (unlike Sora and Cezar)

General opinion :

Geordo is always said to be incredibly handsome and attractive by a lot of characters (including Catarina) He is the fairy tale-like that a lot of girls love and the fact that his personality is not exactly similar to how he really looks like seems to add a bit to his charm. His physical charm seems to be at the same level as Mary.

Personal opinion :

I honestly agree when people said that Geordo is handsome (I prefer him in the manga though) but I've seen so much blonde and blue-eyes men in my whole life that I can't really think of him as "incredibly" handsome, it's the same for Maria. But my favorite thing in Geordo's character is without any doubt his voice ! I'm in cloud nine whenever I hear it. It's not too masculine but not too childish either so I really like it.

[irishcoyote]

Inflamed Sense of Rejection: Chapter One

~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's Note: This is that Angel Face backstory I was talking about. His name is Caleb Handover because I'm not going to call him Angel Face the whole time. There will be no "spice" because I type this on a school computer and honestly I want to expand my writing abilities. ~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a horrible way to start a journal, probably the most over-done and unintriguing sentence used to start a story, but my name is Caleb Handover. I’m 16 years old, and I live in Wilmington, Delaware. I go to Mt. Pleasant High School, class of 2001. That makes me a Junior.

It’s boring. Every single day is the same. The ducks pass over the sky when I’m walking to school, and it looked cool when I was nine, but nowadays it just feels like I’m watching someone drive to work. 

Delaware duck schedule: 6 AM, wake up to the same alarm as everyone in the neighborhood. 7 AM, fly to the pond for breakfast and a bath. Pass by that blond kid again. 

My hair was born white. People on the street asked my mom while she was pushing the stroller, why do you bleach your baby’s hair? 

She never did. 

 First period is Advanced Placement Calculus. I’m thinking about ducks. Derivatives, ducks, hyperbolas, ducks, factorials, ducks, integrals…

My mom called my hair duck-fuzz.  

I like math, but I only say that because high schoolers have to like something. If you say you don’t like any subjects in school, you sound like a wannabe-dropout loser. I’m 16 years old and taking AP Calculus. I don’t think I’m a wannabe anything, but I don’t think I’m genuine, either. I’ve already done the warmup question on the board. Find 34! It’s just a factorial. Does anyone see me?

“Caleb Handover?”

Only during attendance. 

I raise my hand until my elbow is about six inches off of my table, parallel to the smooth, fake-wood surface. Not high enough to seem like a geek, but still giving effort.  

Invisibility is a science.

“Here.” 

There’s a pause. My hand stays in the air.

“Caleb Handover?” my teacher tilts his chin up and surveys the room, his pencil hovering over my name, ready to write truant. 

“I said I’m here,” I said louder as I raised my hand higher. My pen balances between my peace-sign fingers. My teacher flicks his eyes to me, and his eyebrows soften. He adjusts his glasses. The sad taste of desperation lingered in my mouth after essentially begging to be accounted for.

“Oh, hello Caleb. Sorry I didn’t see you.” My teacher laughs dryly and clears his throat. “Serena Hofstadter?” 

She has mono. 

“Gordon Jacobs?” 

That’s how Serena got mono.

For a moment I picture Serena and Gordon as Romeo and Juliet during the final act. Gordon drinks from a tall, crystal vial of mononucleosis extract and collapses. Serena, covered head-to-toe in orange spray tan and blonde highlights underneath her Shakespearean garb, discovers him on the floor and gives a tearful soliloquy before kissing him feverishly in an attempt to drink the mono from his lips. In the end, they’re both bedridden, and everyone knows. 

In fair Delaware we lay our scene.

I don’t know why, but I’m angry at them. Serena and Gordon. My knuckles turn white as I grip my pen harder, gritting my teeth and thinking about my peers who go to parties to drink and kiss and do drugs. I didn’t even think parties were a real thing until I started listening to rich kids’ conversations. 

“I got home so late last night…” quote from the boy wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

“I’m, like, so hungover.” quote from the girl wearing sunglasses indoors at 8:30 AM.

“Her house was so tacky.” quote from the girl whose locker is head-to-toe in sequins and leopard print, who uses perfume to cover the smell of anxiety pheromones. 

I’m not jealous, and I’d rather have lifelong diarrhea than be in the same boat as these kids, but it would be nice to have a life. 

It would be nice to be a part of something bigger than myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's Note: Please let me know what you think, and if I should keep writing this. It would be appreciated :)

[bachissidehoe]

show me yours

chapter 3 of it's classy, not classic [bachisagi]

It’s been a long time since Isagi Yoichi has really taken in the scent of the turf or acknowledged the blueness of the sky on a game day. He truly believed he would never forget about what it took to climb to the top, but some days the fame and money get to him enough that he forgets to stop and reflect on what made him fall in love with the game in the first place. And it’s this- the smell of the turf, the blue sky, the cheers that all blend together into the perfect harmony. He should make sure he remembers that. 

And the announcer calls his name, followed by screams and cheers of people he knows have never attended a professional soccer game before. That’s what makes this game different, the world is obsessed with it on a brand new level. Isagi never thought he could change the world, nor did he want to, but it seems like his lie has sparked new life into two communities that otherwise didn’t often overlap. And it’s all because of a mistake, a mistake that turned into him involving Bachira Meguru. 

Isagi doesn’t think Bachira deserves it, but the eccentric ex-striker is here today, wearing Isagi’s number 11 on the sidelines, just like a boyfriend would. 

And when Isagi flashes him a light smile and a quick wave, the crowd explodes with cheering and joy. The world has become obsessed with the relationship between old Blue Lock friends, who, due to Isagi’s honest mistake, are now thought to be dating. 

The meditation Isagi completed before coming onto the field was supposed to allow him to focus on the sights and sounds of the game without becoming too stressed about the fake relationship he’s gotten himself into. But as soon as Bachira smiles back, it’s like all his preparation goes right down the drain. Isagi told himself to ignore Bachira, but his eyes wandered on their own, looking for those blonde highlights without him even realizing. So now, that Bachira waved right back at him, he’s stressed again. 

Deep breath. 

Another deep breath. 

He makes his way to the center of the field, meeting up with his allies and opponents. 

“You already look like a loser and the game hasn’t started yet.” 

“Thanks Rin, I can always count on you to get me pumped up.” Isagi replies, refusing to look the emo boy in the eye. Regardless of the two of them fighting on the same team, neither of their egos have been lost since Blue Lock. They still compete with each other in the same way they did as kids. 

“If either of you fuck up I’ll score myself.” Another voice enters the conversation, the absolute sunshine of a midfielder, Itoshi Sae. A gorgeous auburn haired genius, and Rin’s older brother (who he just adores). 

The three of them are the key to the team’s success, a combination that has been dubbed The Holy Trinity by fans. All three of them are exceptional scorers who constantly compete with each other for the ball, it makes them somehow extremely compatible. All of them have a strong distaste for each other, yet an equally as strong respect, one that keeps them grounded. 

“You have to wait for us to fuck up first? I’d do it myself regardless.” Rin scoffs. 

“Well, well, well!” The opposing team finally reaches the midfield, bringing Isagi face-to-face with some more former Blue Lock friends. 

“Good to see you, Reo. Nagi, too.” Isagi holds out his hand for Reo to shake. They’re all team captains, after all, this is protocol. 

“Sup, Isagi.” Nagi nods toward him. As nonchalant as ever, and still the messiest snowy hair. For all that Reo has always done to take care of Nagi, Isagi always wondered how Nagi’s hair still always ends up such a mess. 

“Rin, Sae.” Reo shakes their hands too. “Quite a crowd today, you’d think Bachisagi is getting married or something.” Reo chuckles. 

Isagi knew this would happen. He was honestly surprised Aiku didn’t make fun of him first. But the dig still pisses him off. 

“What did you call them? Bachisagi? That’s actually funny.” Rin can’t help but let a light snicker slip out. 

“Oh come on, you’re just jealous you two weren’t the couple to cause this much hype.” Isagi fires back. “Always thought it would be you, considering how obsessed you’ve always been with your “treasure””.

Reo playfully rolls his eyes, but anyone with a working set of their own would be able to see a flush across his cheeks. He’s so easily flustered, but only ever when it comes to Nagi. 

“That’s funny Isagi.” Nagi acknowledges. But beyond his words, not a soul would be able to tell how he’s really feeling about it. 

Isagi remembers first encountering Nagi Seishiro- despite being a lazy bum he can get extremely passionate. He can only imagine how Nagi would act if he and Reo were dating. He’d probably be more dominant than expected, which sounds kind of interesting considering Reo can be so arrogant someti-

Isagi shakes the thoughts from his head. There’s absolutely no reason for him to be thinking about guys dating at a time like this. 

“You guys are a piece of work.” Sae mumbles. 

“Thanks, Itoshi Sae.” Reo winks, flashing a peace sign before turning around, taking up his starting position. 

And just like that, after a bit of trash talk, the game begins. 

It’s unlike Isagi to be nervous before a game. He hasn’t felt that way in years, so he can’t quite recall what it feels like. Perhaps this feeling isn’t nervousness, but maybe stress instead. And it has nothing to do with the task at hand, which is to score goals and win the game. Soccer has this tendency to make Isagi forget about the rest of the world, so it doesn’t take much for him to reach his flow state. 

Goal. 

That’s the first score. And with a pump of his fist and a quick glance to a wide-eyed Bachira, Isagi is ready for another.

Goal. 

A second score, and another glance to Bachira. Rin’s annoyed that Sae keeps choosing to pass to the opposite side, and that only makes Isagi more excited. 

Goal.

A hat trick. His fourth ever hat trick in a division game. And of course- another quick side-eyed glance to Bachira Meguru. He doesn’t even know why he’s doing it, but it feels right to make sure he’s still watching. 

Ow. 

That actually hurt. Getting kicked or thrown or shoved is definitely common in this sport, but it isn’t often that something actually makes Isagi hobble around for a second. He wasn’t even focusing, but someone must have kicked him in the shin. 

The whistle blows, and Noa calls for Isagi to come off the field if he can walk. Of course he can walk, why is anyone even considering subbing him out? He’s fine. 

“I’m fine!” He calls back, shaking his ankle a few times.

“Nope, get your ass off the field!” Noa calls for him again, the referee helping to escort Isagi to the sidelines. 

“What the fuck coach?” He protests, making his way off the field as his team organizes a new formation. 

“Protocol, you gotta come off for a few to get checked out.” Noa explains, waving him off to the medical team. 

Isagi sighs. It’s probably the right choice. Of course he’s fine, but it did hurt for a minute there. Enough for Noa to notice, unfortunately. 

He watches the livestream of the game from the medical office, shaking his head in disappointment as the Reo x Nagi duo comes back with two goals of their own. He needs to get back out there. 

“You’ll be fine but you’ll need to sit for the rest of the game. It’ll bruise but you should be set for practice on Monday.” The nurse explains. 

Isagi huffs. “I can’t play anymore today?” He already knows the answer, but he figures maybe if he asks one more time the nurse will change his mind. 

“Nope, sorry Isagi.” 

So he’s forced to watch the rest of the game from the sidelines, his legs practically itching with jealousy for the players who are allowed to play the remaining quarter of the game. Sure, he’s fine and will be back on Monday, but missing any aspect of an important game makes Isagi feel like his heart is being ripped from his chest. Who is Bachira supposed to watch now? 

Goal.

This time from Rin, a goal that Isagi can’t help but roll his eyes at. Even in Isagi’s hat trick game he can’t help but feel a slight pang of annoyance when anyone else scores a goal besides him. But the game ends shortly after that, with a final score of 4-2. 

“Isagi! Isagi Yoichi!”

“Isagi!”

“Number one! Over here!” 

“Yoichi-sama!”

The sounds of reporters begging for Isagi’s attention. He scored a hat trick and then was suddenly removed from the game, it’s only natural that reporters would be looking to interview him.

“Isagiiiiiii!” 

Now that voice is much more familiar. Isagi can hardly react to the excited screeching before he notices some blonde highlights breaking through the crowd, nearly colliding with his fake boyfriend. 

“Bachira, oh my god dude.” Isagi chuckles, stopping the ball of energy with his hands straight out before he can knock him over. 

“You did great! Hat trick! Are you okay? Your leg or something?” Bachira floods him with questions, all while cameras flash and reporters continue to beg for Isagi’s attention. Now that Bachira’s here, they must be so excited to see the two of them together. This will make for some great engagement for sure. 

“Isagi! Over here!” Reporters continue to barrage him. 

Isagi can’t answer anyone, not even Bachira. He thought he was used to the attention, but under the stress of having to maintain his fake relationship, he’s not so sure he can handle it. 

“You should answer one of them.” Bachira leans a bit closer, lowering his voice to a much calmer tone than he normally uses. “It’ll be fine, you gotta talk about how great you did.” 

Isagi takes a breath, finding himself calmed by Bachira’s words. He certainly didn’t expect the emotional support from such an individualistic egoist. 

“Hi! Yeah it was a great game today. Glad we could pull out the win.” Isagi smiles toward the first reporter he makes eye contact with, letting the cameras flash as Bachira swiftly moves to the side. 

“What happened? Why were you subbed out?” The reporter asks. 

“Ah, no big deal, just twisted my ankle a bit. The nurse told me I’m all set for next practice. Plus, I can walk on it just fine.” He smiles, maintaining the interview persona he’s learned. Even after so many of these interviews, he still finds himself struggling to navigate. 

“That’s great to hear! And we’ve noticed your new boyfriend is here too, Bachira Meguru! How long have you two been together?”

Isagi glances to Bachira, a look of slight panic washing over his face. “Um, not too long, only been official for about a month or so-” He answers, lying through his teeth. To Isagi, it just seemed like saying a month was the safest bet. 

Bachira notices his panic, deciding to slide just a little closer to his “boyfriend”. For someone who has always struggled with other people, Bachira can’t help but have just a bit of empathy for those he really cares about. Ever since he and Isagi first met, Isagi has been one of those people. Bachira doesn’t care too much about lying to the public, but he feels bad that Isagi has been forced into this position. 

Bachira’s starting to realize that this lie is a lot more uncomfortable for Isagi than it is for him, considering Isagi is straight. Bachira doesn’t mind flirting with anyone even if it’s fake, but he can only imagine that it must be difficult for Isagi to pretend like he’s into a guy. That kind of makes him feel weirdly bummed, in a way.

“So many fans are very happy for the two of you! How about a quick kiss for the camera?” The reporter continues. 

Isagi immediately flushes, panicking more than he already was. He can’t just kiss Bachira, he’s never even kissed a guy. But this could mean the end of their little white lie, this could mean a negative perception of Isagi forever. He feels his heart rate increasing, he may actually pass out. 

“Oh stop it,” Bachira chimes in, his tone light and joking. “You guys don’t even know how private Isagi is about his relationships!” He exclaims, lightly nudging Isagi. 

Isagi breathes a sigh of relief, trying his best to make it sound like a chuckle. 

“We gotta go, so you can get just a sneak peak, alright?” Bachira giggles a demonic giggle, before leaning slightly up to peck Isagi’s cheek. 

Isagi certainly didn’t expect it, his hand flying up to touch the spot Bachira kissed, his face burning red instantly. It was soft and quick, barely anything. He’s had plenty of people kiss him on the cheek, like his parents for example, but this felt nothing like that. Somehow, even though it was a simple peck, it sends his brain into a swirling frenzy- not a single thought can be formed. 

“See you guys later, hehe!” Bachira giggles, linking his arm with Isagi’s and leading the two of them off the field. 

It’s like Isagi can feel the place Bachira kissed him, it’s burning a hole in his cheek. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t been kissed in so long, maybe he didn’t realize just how much he’s been missing physical affection, or maybe it just surprised him. For some reason, Isagi never expected that an interviewer or reporter would actually ask him to kiss his boyfriend publicly, but reflecting back, it does make sense. 

“Hey, you alright?” Bachira leads him into the tunnel, walking him toward his team's locker room.  

“Yeah, wait-” Isagi stops his flustered saunter. “Why are you in here?” 

“Oh, right, I just assumed I should get you out of there.” Bachira also stops. 

He’s definitely not on the team, so he absolutely shouldn’t be walking to the locker room with Isagi. But, considering they’re dating, Isagi assumes it must make sense for security to let him walk around in here. It’s just Bachira, what harm could he possibly cause?

“Yeah, true. Thanks.” He mumbles.

“You look sweatier than you did on the field.” Bachira chuckles. 

“I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” He keeps his voice low, maintaining his intense eye contact with the floor as he picks up his pace. 

“Looks like somebody’s flustered.” Bachira sings, drawing out his words to taunt Isagi. 

“Stop it.” Isagi groans. “Quit being like that.” 

“Like whaaatttttt?” He giggles. “To hot for you to handle?”

“You’re such a flirt.” Isagi walks faster, nearing the locker room that likely houses the rest of his team. “Can you wait here for me? Have to shower and stuff.” 

“So we can leave together?” Bachira continues his teasing.

“Oh my god-”

“Sorry, sorry.” He laughs. 

“We should probably leave together, right? People will still be out getting pictures and stuff.” Isagi explains his thought process. He doesn’t want Bachira thinking he actually wants to spend all this time with him. 

“Yeah, yeah. Makes sense.” 

And with that, Isagi enters the locker room, saying good games to his team members and hopping in the showers. He should really wash off that kiss, but no matter how hard he scrubs the cheek, it’s like he can still feel Bachira’s lips there. His body has memorized the shape like it’s a cement mold, and now it’s locked in there forever. Isagi must be crazy, or seriously pent up. 

“Yo, Isagi.” Rin calls, entering the showers as Isagi wraps a towel around his waist. 

“You used my actual name!” Isagi replies sarcastically. That’s often how their conversations go, pissing each other off and shit talking to the point where Isagi wonders if Rin may just murder him someday. Yet, he still considers Rin a teammate and a friend, in a weird fucked up way. 

“You and Bachira aren’t dating.” Rin makes his observation by assuming he’s already correct.

Isagi scoffs. “What are you talking about?” He deflects, though his shaky voice isn’t quite convincing enough. Isagi’s not one to lie, so this entire ordeal is really hard on his mental energy.

“Come on.” 

Isagi sighs. There’s not really a way to get past this, he fears. Rin is too scary. “Can you please not like, spread that theory around?” 

“I don’t plan to, I just want to hear you say I’m right.” 

“What made you think that?” 

“Because I know you.” Rin says flatly. 

That’s the only sentence it takes to convince Isagi to spill the full story. It feels good for him to be honest about it with someone who isn’t directly involved. 

“So you’re keeping this up for how long?” 

“Until he moves back home.” Isagi answers.

“Ah.” Rin nods. “You should play it up more.” 

Isagi pauses. “Huh?” 

“Play it up, like be more dramatic about it. Our viewership was at an all time high today. And this is the first time our seats have completely sold out in years.” Rin explains. 

“Since when do you care about viewership?” 

“Since our lack of funding puts us in danger of not being able to pay for both the world cup expenses and pay for the players’ salaries.” 

“Where did you hear that?” 

“Noa.” Rin shrugs. “I don’t give a fuck about money, but I give a fuck about playing.” 

“Yeah, wow. I didn’t even think about how people just haven’t been enjoying soccer as much anymore.” 

“So you should get more excited about your little boyfriend, because it brings people here.” 

“What do you suggest I do?” Isagi pulls on his shorts and t-shirt, taking a seat on the shower bench. 

“Be less obvious about how panicked you are from a kiss on the cheek, for one thing.” Rin scoffs.

“Tch. Whatever.” Isagi doesn’t really have a counter to what Rin’s saying. Not only is Isagi bringing forward a huge first for the community, he’s also bringing more viewers and potentially changing the future for his entire team. This entire lie affects so many more people than he thought. 

“It does make sense that you like guys though, all things considered.” Rin continues.

“What? I don’t. I’m straight.” 

“Oh, hah.” Rin lets out a light chuckle. “The way your face looked when he kissed your cheek says otherwise.” 

[malcolm-reeds-pineapple]

Blorbo From My Shows Wrapped 2023

And rating them on a scale from 1 to 10

Nathan MacKinnon: listen okay he comes around every year around hockey season. This year I’ve gone especially deranged for him and made a fucking top loader for one of my hockey cards of him. He mostly gets points for being Nova Scotian and also looking like he has sustained multiple blows to the head. He is also incredibly fucking shaped. Anyway solid 7/10 - loses points because he’s been stripped of all personality by the NHL in order to be more advertiser-friendly

Vinsmoke Sanji: alright okay I’m a fake fan because I’ve only seen the live action but sweet Christ I want this white man. From the moment this absolute womanizing jackass graced my screen I have been in love with him. He makes me giggle and kick my feet like a middle schooler at a sleepover. He truly is Blorbo From My Shows in the best possible way. 10/10 I think this man is so hot.

John Sheppard: I started watching Atlantis recently and I kind of thought I was gonna hate it because no Daniel and Daniel had been my primary brain rot since I was 9 but John won me over. I love his sense of humour and his relationship with McKay (aaaaaaa Canada Mentioned!!!!) but I also find his insubordination extremely hot like yes babe!!! Disregard your orders to commit intergalactic war crimes!!!! Also I love that we get Sheppard Scruff a lot because believe me that instantly casts a hex on me to lose all thoughts!!!! Foaming at the mouth for him!!! Anyway 8/10 - loses points for being a pilot bc my dad was on the ground crew and my genetic memory is telling me that all pilots are bastards

Tony Markovich (that fucking cop from shameless): listen okay hear me out hear me out……………….. alright I got nothing, I can’t even defend this one. First of all, I’ve only seen the show through tiktok highlights. Second bbg this man is a cop what’s wrong with you??? He mostly gets points for looking like a handsome young man who my mom would love if I brought him home. Like Tony just looks sooooo boyfriend shaped to me?? Like if I brought him home and he told my mom that he volunteers coaching basketball and that he likes to spend his off time cooking with his mom, my mom would literally bawl her eyes out because I’ve brought home the man she’s always envisioned for me. 6/10 - loses points for being a cop and also being too fucking vanilla to even think that his handcuffs could possibly be used for sex.

Ray Stantz: alright so he’s also the type that I would 100% bring home to my mom but unlike Tony, I respect his career. This guy is soooooooooooo husband shaped like he looks like the kind of guy who mows his lawn on a Sunday before the kids wake up so he can teach them how to ride a bike as soon as they finish breakfast. He’s also just so sweet and cuddly in canon and I want him to infodump about all his interests at me. I also like that his so squishy and I just wanna be the one who helps him get the ectoplasm out of his hair while he tells me about poltergeists and stuff. 10/10 - he’s so husband shaped he loses points for NOTHING because he’s EXACTLY the kind of man I want

Daniel Jackson: listen okay we all knew this was coming I don’t even need to say anything. I know this man has not only been living in my head rent free but he also lives in yours because you follow me and you have 0 choice in the matter. I’m not elaborating just go thru #yeet me into the void on my blog and you’ll get it. 15/10 he’s the fucking blueprint.

Jack Ransom: i apparently cannot exist without a white man from Star Trek bouncing around my skull so Ransom makes this list. I love blonde himbos and like the thing is that I know he’d call me a fucking slur but like his superiority complex does something to me idfk I should send this post to my therapist because evidently I need fucking help. 8/10 - loses points for being a cartoon, gains points for his obvious brat taming kink.

Anyway thanks for coming to the annual Blorbo From My Shows Wrapped: a post that if it got forwarded to anyone in my family I’d simply fake my death and disappear. However, my tumblr followers are my priest and this blog is my confessional.

[shslpunkartist99]

It's Softie! Soft Ben! Random trivia time!

He's a runaway from home because of his abusive parents, but through a long battle, Marie and Adam eventually gained custody of him, now the adopted brother of Keith, Roxanne, and Bibi

He experiences panic and anxiety attacks every so often, but one of the family members is always there to help him through it, especially Sharky

Bibi likes to put stickers on him. He makes sure it stays on for the day. Roxanne also gave him the fake clip on piercing and hair highlight (btw not sure if I should have his hair be naturally blonde or naturally blue)

He wears the black undershirt to hide his scars. His family has seen them, so he feels comfortable enough to wear just a regular shirt at home, but feels the need to wear the black shirt outside, even if it's very hot

He carries his sketchbook everywhere. It's gonna take some time before he shows what he draws to others

It's difficult to keep up with Keith's energy, yet Ben seems to like the energy

Ben's sexuality is questionable, as he isn't sure what he is. It's something he's never focused on. For now, if he NEEDS a label, it's teetering between asexual and demisexual

[majoringinsarcasm]

OK SO NOT TO BE EVEN MORE DELUSIONAL if Bees don’t happen tomorrow it’s fine literally I’m not even worried bc I know it will this volume BUT LET ME GET UP ON THIS STEPLADDER TO REACH FOR A MINUTE (also for context I am getting the episode numbers from crunch roll I think they might’ve been slightly different originally on YouTube but it’s fine I’m already reaching)

Volume 1 Chapter 6: The Emerald Forest is when Blake and Yang locked eyes and became partners BEFORE they even joined a team. So in a world where team rwby never happened they would still be partners on another team. Also could be argued Blake picked Yang on purpose bc we see her dart by in the foreground. You know. Also side note but Yang asking the Grimm if they’ve seen a girl in a red hood vs Ruby asking Little if they’ve seen a girl with long blonde hair. Sisters, your honor.

Volume 2 Chapter 6: Burning the Candle. DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY MORE? Some could say it’s one of the defining moments of early series Blake and Yang, it’s so good you can just say the title and the ones who get it get it. Highlights are the laser pointer which I found personally fun, early volume humor I love you, hugging your sleep deprived stressed girl best friend and then saying you’ll save her a dance. Also shout out to shirtless Ren??? Forgot about that and Nora in the background pretending not to listen to him and Jaune talk lol. Also early volume Renora my BELOVED

Volume 3 Chapter 6: Fall is when the fake out leg break happens with Mercury which isn’t a Bees moment but that later sparks the conversation all the girls have about believing Yang really saw him attack first and Blake bringing up how this reminds her of Adam but deciding to trust in Yang anyway. Volumes four and five don’t have Bee moments tied to their respective chapter sixes.

However the bees are thinking about each other while they are apart, with Blake seeing Yang in Sun’s place when he’s attacked by Ilia plus Sun literally calling out that Yang would want Blake to be with her even when things are bad. And Yang’s “what if I needed her here for me?” when she and Weiss have their little heart to heart in V5.

Volume 6 Chapter 6: Alone in the Woods: a personal favorite of mine in general. They are at the farm, they are above the Apathy, Qrow gets his first big wake up call in terms of his alcoholism and how it affects his family. Yang grabs Blake by the hand to lead her out of the house even though she doesn’t really Need to and Weiss gets to torch the place because she also has a parental figure who struggles with drinking and it affects her. Love this episode a true banger.

Volume 7 Chapter 6: A Night Off: Blake and Yang are going dancing. Neither are very good at it and it’s very cute. Featuring a hand on the shoulder as Blake does her makeup and Yang sitting like a lesbian on the bed behind her and smiling as she does said makeup. Also Blake’s giggle she laughs at whatever Yang does. I love mutually down bad couples. Also Weiss watching half of her team be gay dorks and deciding to go to the movies with Oscar and Jaune bc she refuses to be a third wheel for another second. Highlight for me personally is the beginning when everyone is training I love shots like that I think it’s cute and fun and. I miss when they could act like this before. The Horrors truly set it. Also the beginnings of Ren semblance evolution and the Rosegarden crumb haha. Also Yang chasing after Blake and her shadows as they are fishing was also cute.

Volume 8 Chapter 6 is Cinder’s backstory but V8 does have the bee reunion face cradle and forehead touch as well as Yang’s conversation with Jaune that he mistakenly thinks is about Ruby, as well as Blake’s conversation with Nora about needing to know who you are outside of your relationship and how They don’t have to be all You are.

WHICH BRINGS US NOW TO VOLUME 9 CHAPTER 6. Not every cute or significant Bee moment is tied to chapter six and they have more than one movement to talk and have moments in each volume. I just had a lil breakthrough and wanted to check when they became partners and what chapter burning the candle was and went down a rabbit hole.

Again IF there’s no confession in like 10 hours do Not let the bad faith haters get you down. We are coming off a wild episode and I personally missed my boy Jaune so much and want to know what happened to him. We will see how all that plays out. But the evidence is there and has been for years and has been pointed out in universe so if it doesn’t happen it’s ok to be disappointed but please trust that it Will happen.

But if it DOES? No bigger bottles will be popped. We win either way; it just depends on when. See y’all on the other side!

[justmybookthots]

Love, Theoretically

4.25/5 stars

Technically, this is a reread. I was feeling low because of another book yesterday, and I really wanted a good pick-me-up before I spiralled into a slump. And given how much I freaking loved this book the first time (I read it a week or so after it first got published?), I was hoping it would do the trick. 

It did. I just finished rereading the entire thing a few hours ago. Oh my gosh. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is by the same woman who wrote my romcom archnemesis: Love Hypothesis. How do you go from writing… Adam Driver (Carlton? Ca… Something) to fucking Jack? (And yes, Ali needs to consider giving her male leads less basic white boy names. That said, Levi’s name wasn’t so basic. His personality though…)

Jack is my favourite Hazelwood hero by FAR. Of course, Hazelwood technically only has two distinguishable heroes, since Adam and Levi are just differently named versions of each other. My point is, Jack is… wonderful. He’s blonde—I’m partial to fair-haired male characters, okay? He’s calm. Humorous. Communicative. Understanding. Emotionally intelligent. Like, look at this: 

And to sum it up:

He wasn’t perfect, obviously, but I… My brain was short-circuiting at so many of his scenes, his actions, his easy banter, his sense of humour. There’s one scene where Elsie thinks they’re about to have sex, but she’s clearly too tired for it, and he just plays along:

I loved their banter, omg. Some parts, not so much, but most of it was hilarious. It isn’t only with Elsie; Jack’s exchanges with his grandmother were gold, too. Millicent Smith made me crack up in that singular scene when they had tea—I think she’s a phenomenal character.  It’s amusing and admirable how Jack could respond to and handle her eccentricities without batting an eyelid. 

I really wanted to give this a five stars. I really did. I still do. I mean, the first half of the book before Jack and Elsie got together is fantastic, and is possibly the highlight of the entire story. Hazelwood nailed the tension between both leads. Furthermore, I love the throughline of the story: Elsie suffers from chronic People Pleaser Disorder where she constantly plays different versions of herself to—you guessed it—please different people. She does this incessantly, not just when she fake-dates but in many aspects of her life. As someone who dislikes the fake dating trope, it’s nice to see that this trope is being tied to an ongoing character development arc. (It also helps that she isn’t fake-dating Jack. I’m so, so tired of fake-dating between two romantic leads.) Jack is privy to all this through observation, and he encourages her constantly to be nothing more than herself. 

This theme has, to be honest, been giving me some food for thought. I’m about to derail, but I do think women are societally expected (more so than their male counterparts) to be many different things. I don’t want to go too far in depth about it because this isn’t the place, but I remember (this is still going to be a bit out of left field, but this is my reading journal, so I’ll say what I want) reading somewhere that women are likelier to be better at masking autism than men. Simply put, I believe it’s because men can be themselves, whatever that may entail, and not have to apologise for it. It’s why I’m annoyed by male characters like Adam, or just the male “grump” archetype, because men rarely need to be polite. There’s almost no flak for them if they behave in a way that lacks any kind of grace.  

But if a woman behaves the same way, she’s simply put: a bitch.

Anyway. I digress. All I’ll say on this subject is that I really enjoyed the overarching theme regarding Elsie’s character growth. 

However, this is not a perfect book. There are some points that I don’t love:

The smut. This is the biggest issue. Jack is very giving, which is great, and he is BIG on consent, which is also great. I can’t put a finger on why I don’t love how the smut is written though. Whatever it is, it’s a me problem. Ali’s writing style for smut isn’t to my taste. It doesn’t feel very… sexy? The whole scene where Jack and Elsie made out and did something sexual for the first time was really awkward. I am a firm believer that consent CAN be written in an attractive way, but this was not it. 

Twilight is not it. I’m sorry, Elsie.

I do not understand why Jack is so muscular. Big, I get because that's genetic or whatever, but why muscular??? How is a nerd who spends his days in a lab getting that muscle tone? That allusion to him playing basketball in a gym on certain weekends is NOT enough.

The PDA between Jack and Elsie at George’s house near the end of the story made me cringe. Please stop. 

Adam’s cameo. Gag. I read this book to get away from Adam, not return to his presence.

Now. Going back to more things I did love, that I haven’t mentioned yet:

Jack and the article. No, not the one he wrote when he was seventeen. The fucking article he wrote at the end as penance was AMAZING

Elsie running back to him and falling apart and saying that he probably thought they’d broken up forever because of how she’d ignored him after their fight. To which he, very calmly, goes: Nope. Who said we broke up? I was giving you space, just as you asked me for. 

GEORGINA/GEORGE. Zero girl-on-girl hate in this book. I have to give Ali credit where it’s due; there is none of this in any of her books, if I’m not wrong. Instead of having Georgina, who “stole” Elsie’s job, be the stereotypical catty bitch, she turns out to be an amazing character who saves Elsie’s career. I love how the literary landscape of female characters has changed in recent years.

“Manuscript I’d love to finish” being called MILF is something I am claiming for myself. 

Never thought I’d say this two months ago, but I absolutely loved this book. Now my biggest question is: will this be an outlier in Hazelwood’s repertoire, or will she be ever-evolving into something new and better with future books? (Bad Boy of chess, though? Really?)

FINE. I’ll stick around to find out. 

- 16 Aug 2023

[rodbei]

Ok ok ok fuck you, were starting it.

And by it, I mean this blog - the way I just yapped to myself for twenty minutes in the shower about what to say - and now I have no idea.

But I guess I should introduce myself - even though - holy fuck I'm tired of introductions, like Jesus, just this last week of school, it's just constant! "Hi!, Hello!" "What's your name and pronouns?!? Oh, how about fuck you and fuck this!!! :D" Like it's exhausting I do think that's more a me thing than a general thing, like "Hi, here I am, here you go, you can forget me now."

But either way, my name is Rodbei... because that's the normal way and I am trying my best not to dox myself, my pronouns are ??/!! in the way that I have no clue and do your best!

I am doing this because I am seventeen and I just moved out and this is probably a very important time in my life I'm supposed to look back on?? But regardless I can't remember shit for shit and I should write it down so here we go:

Today I had 3 alarms - 5:00, 5:30, and 6:00 because I have to bike to school at 7:30 and be there at 8:00 and it sucks? I mean it's okay but ughhh no one likes autumn Mondays. It was cold and I didn't want to get up, but today was a good day because I could eat breakfast (normally eating breakfast is nauseating and ends with throwing up in a trashcan). So chocolate "musli," banana, and coffee were my start this morning. Also watched Smallish Beans' newest video because I am actually five years old ffs.

I met up with... should I make fake names?? Fine, I guess, I'll introduce my best "school" friend... umm... umm Red?!??... I'm going to forget that but okay. Me and Red biked to school together; Red had an electric bike while I struggled on my normal one. It was nice though since the past week has just been (ok I'm at a mixed art school so half the time we're at a normal school and the other part we're at an art school) and this past week we've been at the art school. But I live literally 30 seconds away from that school so no biking, but honestly biking is nice... downhill - too bad my school school is at the top of a giant hill -

But otherwise, school was fine. Two new students, though, which doesn't really change anything because I am a loser with zero social ability. Like, I swear I have never felt so out of place at a freaking ART SCHOOL and I am normally the art kid. Like, WHAT. But two new students, an emo kid, and some blond girl. Maybe I'll talk to the emo kid, but he reminds me of people who are too cool to try to make friends. And I am the most AWKWARD person ever. Like, I don't know how I do it. It's like a talent where I just cannot do normal small talk.

That was the interesting part of school. Red went home early because they're stupid and always a little bit sick. We had 4 subjects: movie, English, history, and math. They all sucked apart from the movie one.

But, oh my freaking god, you would think the teachers know how to teach neurodivergent kids. But they still make us sit still for 50 minutes while they talk at a board. NO ONE IS UNDERSTANDING SHIT.

My lunch today was a ham and cheese sandwich, an apple, a cereal bar, and a Caprisun because I'm lazy.

After school, I raced home and ate some crappy noodles. Then I watched some Remadora bloopers because I realized I still had access to TT Patreon. YIPPE. That was the highlight of my day, I think. LMAO.

After that, Red called me, and we went shopping and made tomato soup. I bought bread forgetting I froze some earlier like an idiot, and I bought the amazing, the legendary, CANNED WHIPPED CREAM. I was never allowed to have that as a kid. YIPPE YIPPE YIPPE.

I cleaned Red's room because I'm built weird while they made us tomato soup. We ate on the floor, and I did the dishes like I always do.

Then I came back here and rotted on TikTok. Also, I planned with Monke because it's an inside joke that we could maybe go to a Girl in Red concert in two weeks. But we're both broke. YIPPE.

Also, there's a party Friday that I'm only scared to go to because I'm going alone. And I'm gonna go home this weekend and maybe watch a movie with, let's say, Monke and Bunny.

God, they would hate me for that.

Song of today is: "I Wanna Be Your Girl" by Girl in Red.

-Rodbei 16-09-2024

[marshmonaut]

Grimoire- Chapter Two

Wattpad Link:

I fall heavily into my seat and put my head on my desk. Last night...sucked. Having that dream again probably means something major is about to happen. Especially since it’s been happening more and more often. And more and more vividly. I mean, don’t get me wrong, that dream has always been a terrible experience but lately it just seems so much more…dire, almost.

“I wonder what it means…” I ponder aloud into the fake wooden surface.

“Wonder what what means?” I hear as the seat next to me is suddenly occupied and I simultaneously realize that I was thinking out loud. The sweet scent of roses hits my nose before I lift my head and turn towards the voice.

“Oh, hey Wendy. It’s nothing important, just talking to myself.”

Wendy Aberra is the type of girl that most people avoid in high school. She’s loud, overly-bubbly, and wears super bright and colorful clothes that would look horribly mismatched on anyone else, but she makes it work somehow. And she is always very bluntly honest, almost to the point of being rude to anyone who doesn’t understand her, but she says the quirkiest things at times as well. She is quite the eccentric person and most people think she is weird so no one ever really talks to her. Except for me of course because she is also my absolute very best friend in all the Realms.

She kind of reminds me of a character that I used to love from a children’s novel by Lewis Carrol that I found when I first came here. Or more like if he had a really cool and modernized daughter. She has naturally platinum blonde hair with these neon colored highlights that almost seem to shimmer and shift based on her mood. Her nails are always painted the same funky colors too, though each finger sports a different one. They kinda seem to shift with her moods too, now that I think about it. She also has green eyes like mine, but hers are more of a light electric green whereas mine are more of a cool forest emerald. 

We met when I first started going to school after crossing over. It still felt like everyone was out to get me and that no one could be trusted. It didn’t help that everyone kept their distance from the “weird new girl that doesn’t talk or play with anyone.” If it weren’t for her being brave enough, and annoying enough, to not give up on me back then, I would have no friends and absolutely no way to distract myself from the immense boredom that is school. Honestly, I would probably both kill and die for her if I had to. But she would hate to hear me say that, the sweet selfless pacifist that she is.

“Well, if it’s nothing important then you should have no problem telling me what it is.” She’s smiling at me now, giving me a full grin and showing all of her pearly white teeth. 

“And if you keep talking to yourself, people are going to think you’re crazy. Like me!” She starts laughing at that, a little too loudly, and startles the still-groggy teens directly surrounding us. They shoot daggers at her that she doesn't seem to notice. They stop and look away quickly, almost frightened, once they notice me glaring right back at them. When I turn to look back at Wendy, I can see that she’s giving me an expectant look.

“Well, I’ve been having that dream again,” I start. “You know, the one I told you about before? It’s happening more and more often and I don’t know why.”

“Hmmm,” she says, making a show of stroking her chin with her thumb and forefinger. “That is a pickle. Oh but I like pickles and this is a bad thing. Uh, I guess that makes this is a…” she trails off as she tries to think of a word she likes better. “...toughie! Yeah, it’s a toughie, alright. Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something, trying to warn you. But what about?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. I just wish it’d stop so I could get some semi-decent sleep,” I reply, laying my head back down on the desk. I close my eyes. The cold feels nice against my forehead, soothing the headache that has already started forming.

“Yeah, you do look terrible. I mean, I could pack for a week’s vacation and still have room for souvenirs with the bags under your eyes!” Wendy loudly proclaims this and then begins to giggle at whatever silly image she must have conjured up at that thought. I quietly chuckle along with her at that and place my arms around my face, blocking out the light. Since homeroom only lasts for about 30 minutes and we never do any work in this class, I figure I can try to get some sleep.

“Yeah, taking a nap sounds like a good idea for you right now,” I hear Wendy say as I start to fight off the sleep that is already threatening to pull me under. She’s one of the few people that I can sleep peacefully around because I know she’ll look out for me if I need her too. It’s happened before. “You need the rest. And who knows? Maybe you’ll have a dream about what your other dream means? Or maybe it means nothing at all.”

  *   *   *

About 25 minutes later, I’m being shaken awake and can hear someone calling my name, a bit of concern leaking into their voice. In my half-asleep state, I can’t really make out exactly who it is until I see the mismatched nail polish on the fingers gripping my arm.

“Sola! Sola, wake up! You’re doing it again,” Wendy says as she gently shakes my arm again. Seeing the worry clouding her usually cheery face immediately snaps me completely awake and makes me want to apologize for whatever it is I did. But…what did I do? I am looking around the room wondering what it is and almost ask Wendy out loud...until I smell the smoke. I quickly jerk up and put out the tiny inferno that has started on my jacket and look around again. Luckily, no one else has noticed and I breathe a small sigh of relief. I look over at Wendy, who is now giving me the same look of both concern mixed with a little amusement.

“Thanks. The last thing I need right now is to catch any attention by burning the school to the ground, tempting as it might be,” I say as I fan away the last little swirling tendrils of evidence.

Wendy starts giggling again and gives me a thumbs up as she begins to pack her things for the next class. Just then, the bell rings and I grab my bag and  stand up to wait for her. She’s taken out a sketchbook during class and began drawing...something? I can’t quite make out what it’s supposed to be yet but I know better than to ask. She won’t let me see until it’s done anyways.

We begin walking side-by-side down the hall to our next class, Paranormal Studies. Well, more like I’m walking and she’s skipping down the hallway. It’s refreshing to see how blissfully unaware she is of the other kids scrambling out of our way as she sings her “Going to Class” song. 

Our teacher for this class, which was an optional elective, is the only other person that I actually look forward to seeing, ever. He’s pretty relaxed and really loves his job helping kids learn. He also uses lots of mythology, lore, and fiction books to help him teach and it’s pretty interesting to hear him go off on rants about ghosts and odd happenings during a lecture. As I walk into his class, I notice that the new lesson is going to be about witches. How ironic.

“Hey! There’s my little sunshine! How’s it going, sweetie?” Mr. Nightshade says this as I pass through the doorway and make my way towards my seat. Wendy is not far behind me and calls out a cheery greeting to him before taking her place next to me. “Come on, baby girl, give me a smile! Today can’t be all that bad,” comes echoing across the slowly filling classroom as I sit and reach down to grab the stuff I need for this class. “My favorite student is in her favorite class on this gorgeous day, the least she can do is smile for me!” He looks at me expectantly, a goofy smile plastered on his lightly stubbled face.

“Hey, dad. You’re not supposed to show favoritism in school, remember?” I say as I laugh a little under my breath. Oh, I forgot to mention that he is also my dad. I guess that whole interaction sounds a little creepy otherwise, but I promise he’s a good guy. He's been teaching at this school since I was very young, but I only started living with him full-time after I crossed over. 

When I showed up on his doorstep in the middle of the night that night, dirty and still shaking with fear, all he did was open his arms and hug me. He took me in with no questions and let me open up about what She did to me when I was ready. If it weren’t for him, I have no idea what I would have done with myself when I got her. I would have survived, somehow, but it definitely would have been a hell of a lot harder. I look up at him and flash him a quick small smile, just to get him to stop looking at me like that, and go back to setting up my supplies.

“Hey now, the bell hasn’t rung to start class yet so, technically, I’m not teaching right now.” He says as he gives a playful half smirk. He has that look in his eyes that all parents get when they’re right about something and they know you can’t really argue against them. But I know he’s just kidding around. It’s one of the traits that makes him so likable, along with many others. It’s also why…

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” I say as I shake my head, trying to clear it of those dark thoughts. I actually want to pay attention during this class. Or at least look like I am. “I’m hoping that no one saw that you know, I have a reputation to uphold that’s very important to me” I say, letting a little lighthearted sarcasm tint my tone. I wink at Wendy as she playfully rolls her eyes and shakes her head at me. She likes all of her teachers, unlike me. But, like me, Mr. Nightshade is her favorite too. They seem to share something I call “The Bond of the Weird.”

“Well, glad you asked kiddo. Because today,” he says, ignoring my last comment as the bell rings and everyone else scrambles to take their seats, “and for the rest of this unit, we are learning about witches. Specifically, the witches of Salem, Massachusetts. Their beliefs, their practices, their culture, and finally…” he pauses as he looks around the room at each student, waiting juuuuust long enough to build suspense. “...their gruesome demises during the Trials!” 

I start taking notes as the lesson goes on. The entire time, though, I make sure to pay extra attention to the surrounding area. Watching all of the access points to the room out of the corners of my eyes as I glance between the board and my notebook while I write. I always do this when I’m in this class with my dad. Just in case...you never know, right?

[lazybakerart]

Harringrove prompt: Billy teasing Steve on the daily but who gets super protective if anyone else gives Steve shit. That's HIS boyfriend. The only person who gets to make fun of him is BILLY.

(omg I love your writing and art btw fr😍)

(askjsdfsdf!!! thank you!! T___T!!!)))

Tater Tot Wednesday and Steve’s barely keeping it together. 

One more tardy to add to his file. A failed calculus pop quiz in a long line of failed pop quizes. Nancy gave him the stiff cold shoulder in the hall before lunch and left their date for tonight up in the air.

Maybe he’ll pick her up at five and sneak her home by midnight. 

Maybe he’ll be cozying up with his right hand—his left if he’s in the mood for something different. Only if he hasn’t suffocated himself with his pillow first.

And Billy Hargrove is on his tail. Teeth bared. Bullheaded and blowing smoke.

Zeroed in on Steve since second period and hasn’t left him alone since. Any chance he gets, Billy’s on Steve like fake-tanner is on Carol in December.

Tater tots were meant to be the saving grace of today. The one highlight in this dark, awful world filled with pissy-girlfriends and academic probation.

Billy shoves Tommy and Carol over to make room, straddles himself on the laminated bench to give Steve every moment under the Hargrove-specific spotlight. Knee knocking into Steve's. Personal space pillaged and razed.

First, he steals Steve’s apple.

Then, he steals three tater tots off Steve’s plate.

“Excuse me?” Steve finally says when ignoring the idiot breathing on him five inches away doesn’t get the very clearmessage across.

He can feel the heat from Billy’s crotch.

Outside of being reamed on the court, he’s not sure what to do with that kind of intimacy.

“I gotta say, Harrington. Your mom’s a damn sweetheart.” Billy says. He pulls out a knife from his boot and starts carving chunks out of the apple. 

He's trying to look cool and it doesn’t work on only Steve.

Carol starts twirling her hair around her pink painted nail and Tommy shuffles her around to switch spots with him so he’s the one closest to sniffing those blond barbie curls.

Steve can hear a wave of girls marinating in their panties at the sight of California and a big sharp knife.

Steve pops his coke and takes a sip before diving into whatever this is going to be.

“And how is my mom a sweetheart, Hargrove?”

Billy chews with his mouth open. He spears another tater tot from Steve and eats it straight from the blade’s tip, eyes on Steve, punchline in sight, winding up for a doozy. Steve's not holding his breath.

“Because she sucked my dick so good last night, pretty boy. Duh."

Steve twists around, leans his elbow on the table to give Billy what he wants—attention.

“She did? Wow, that is so nice of her.”

“Ain’t it? She didn’t even forget the balls or nothing.”

“I hate when that happens.”

“The worst.”

“Something is definitely the worst here.”

Across the table, Tall Chris barks out a laugh. Hit six feet by fourth grade and kept growing. He’s the only one on their team who can dunk just by walking up to the hoop and get sunburnt from being outside for two minutes.

He has the locker next to Billy's and Steve watched the two of them talking hush-hush after practice plenty of times to think they're friends. As close as anyone can be friends with Billy.

His laugh echoes and pinches at Steve’s ears, but he’s not the only one holding their stomach.

But he is the only one to think it’s a good idea to jump into the line of fire.

Tall Chris says, “Yeah, she sucked mine too. Your mama's got a tight—“

Billy takes Tall Chris’ cafeteria tray and shoves it to the floor. The sound of plastic clatters loud over the sudden hush at their table.

Steve watches wide-eyed as Billy jabs his finger at Tall Chris. Jaw clenched tight and read to jump—fifty pounds on him and Billy’s still got the upper hand just with that look on his face. 

“Be respectful, cocklicker. Don’t talk about his mother like that.”

Tall Christ seems to shrink half a foot. 

“But you just—“

Billy clicks his tongue, shaking his head.

“Uh-uh.” He wags his finger then points over Tall Chris’ shoulder to the floor where his food has splattered. “Eat your food and don’t say another goddamn word unless I tell ya.”

Only when Tall Chris finds the smarts to look away does Billy flip some switch inside him and smiles, grins like the sun is shining behind his blue eyes to make his Hollywood face sparkle.

Behind him, Tommy’s inching closer to catching a whiff and Carols giving herself a perm.

Billy turns to Steve and it feels like Indiana in July under that Hargrove-spotlight.

“You got the same lips as her, you know that?” Billy laps at his own flushed-red lips like he’s trying to make Steve feel that too, his knife in hand, growing colder by the minute tater tot stabbed through on its tip. 

Steve hadn’t even noticed him slipping another one out from under Steve's nose. Too busy thinking what the hell is the matter with this guy and well and this is something.

Billy says, leaning a little closer, “Ain’t that a funny coinkydink, Harrington?”

Steve plucks the tater tot off Billy's knife and pops it into his mouth. Licks the salt off his thumb and watches Billy finally crack that little bit.

Maybe there's still some hope for today yet.

(also up on ao3)

[strawberry-writings]

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚Joy˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

☆*♡¡~𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐑~¡♡*☆

♡ Vera nair paired with a child!you ♡

~fluff, platonic...

{♡} Today the survivor's would be meeting a new survivor, there isn't much information on the certain survivor but all they know is that they're quite young. But that wouldn't stop Vera's morning routine.

She made sure to brush her teeth with toothpaste and a toothbrush, take a morning bath, and prepare herself for the day. She was assigned a match today so she would unfortunately have to go to battle.

She went with her signature red lipstick and black mascara, the beauty mark on her face isn't exactly too prominent so she used eyeliner to highlight it. Vera wore her basic clothing which was purple at the most, it was her favorite color.

Vera stepped out of her room and went to eat breakfast she normally ate a crossiant, and that's what she did. She simply ate a crossiant and drank some tea, but she would have to eat a lot more for dinner as she would need that energy. During matches you basically have to run from cipher to cipher, run while kiting the hunter, and run to rescue the others.

She would have to eat more to stay energized, the match was scheduled at 10:50am daytime but everyone heard Ms. Dyer speak to someone. They speculated that it was the new survivor and a certain individual, Mike Morton was good at making friends so maybe he would become friends with the new survivor.

The doctor came into the room with a child.

"(name) you'll be staying here from now on, and make sure to always tell me when you need help or something else."

Emily smiled at the young child, a bunch of survivors sat at the dinner table in shock because what was another child doing at this terrible manor? The Little girl in the manor also known as Memory approached the other child, she smiled and introduced herself.

"Hi! My name's Memory what's your name?"

(name) answered.

"My name is (name) it's nice to meet you Memory.."

The blonde little girl grabbed her hand and approached each survivor in the dinner room one by one. She eventually approached Vera, and pointed at her while saying

"This is The perfumer Vera nair and she's a container! She has also amazing taste in fashion!"

Vera looked down at the two children standing infront of her she decided to wave at (name) and Memory. (name) gave Vera a polite smile, but Vera was pondering about something else so she didn't notice.

A few hour's passed and Vera carefully walked to the matching room and to her surprise she saw the new survivor with The postman and The mechanic wearing her candy girl costume. The hunter was the Bloody queen also known as Mary.

Poor (name) looked quite anxious and scared for her first match, Vera swore deep down to protect her as she didn't want her to get injured by the hunter. She planned to take the first kite.

As everything went black Vera saw a familiar map called Leo's memory but it was rather more of a dawn outside, Vera ran carefully to the factory and began decoding. She saw (name) struggling with decoding so she decided to help, and she began decoding with (name).

(name) unfortunately got too frustrated and started crying a bit. Vera got down to her height and started comforting her, she tried her best to cheer (name) up.

After comforting the child they gave The perfumer a smile full of joy, but both their heartbeats increased which was a sign that the hunter was nearby. The Bloody queen entered the factory and gave them a smile, Tracy followed after Mary and seemed to be having a good time.

Vera immediately knew that the hunter was friendly and carefully took (name) to Mary and explained that she was being friendly. The Bloody queen showed her abilites and summoned her aqua mirror, everyone could see Mary's reflection and it soon disappeared.

They all went outside together and started having a snowball battle, Vera let (name) win and Tracy got hit by Mary's snowball. It was only (name) and Mary left.

"Oh nooooo! I'm doomed!"

Mary said faking a dramatic voice before feeling a cold sensation on her face. (name) had won the snowball battle and she gave everyone a smile full of joy and happiness, it was the smile Vera had while she was still with her dead sister.

Vera's real name isn't Vera its actually Chloé Nair, she murdered her sister because she supposedly plagiarized her work in perfumery, but that wasn't her twin sister's real intentions. Chloé still feels the immense amount of guilt till this day.

The match ended as The Bloody queen surrendered, and while going back to the manor The postman wasn't seen during the match. He was considered introverted and quiet and liked to communicate with animals.

Tracy, Vera, and (name) laughed and smiled on their way back from the match, it was truly a moment of Joy.

♡~