#he goes ‘fuck you’

[eric-the-disposable-demon]

Uh-

just found out my cousin (who lives in England) is in the art department of a bunch of shows??? And she worked oN DOCTOR WHO? AND HAD LUNCH WITH DAVID TENNANT???? and she just told me so casually because she's interested in the art, not the show? I mean, excuse me? She worked on SHERLOCK???? FOR A WHOLE SEASON?? She worked on Peaky Blinders and Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones??? And probably other things because she has a shitty memory and according to her everything is a blur?? AND AT ONE POINT SHE WAS LIKE: "oh and have you ever heard of Neil Gaiman?" And I was trying not to scream, because yes, of course I've heard of Neil, he's only my favorite author, I've only read like all of his books multiple times, and if you say you worked on Good Omens or the Sandman I'm going to lose it completely. So I said "yeah I've read a couple of his books," -you know, like a liar- "what about him?" and she goes "well I worked on one of his shows and he's brilliant i just can't remember which one" and i go "w-what do you mean he's brilliant? You're.. you're talking about his writing... his writing is brilliant, right?" And she cheerfully says "oh no I don't read books, I ment he was really nice and brilliant when I talked to him" and i go "WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT" and she thinks for a moment and goes "oh! BRICKS" WHAT IN THE WORLD YES NO THAT MAKES SENSE YOU GET TO WORK AND TALK WITH NEIL FUCKING GAIMAN AND YOU TALK ABOUT BRICKS? NO THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL I'M NOT MAD ".... it was what I was designing at the time, I needed to know what vibe the bricks should have. Anyway want to see the spinning fireplace I made for doctor who" WHAT THE FUCK.

@neil-gaiman do you remember any brick conversations by any chance

[shotmrmiller]

the trope of you accidentally catching a peek of someone having sex with another and instead of fucking off you stick around and hope they don't find out except they already know but:

you're roommates with active military soap and it works because he's hardly there, he's real easy to be friends with and when his hands wander it's not totally repulsive because he's hot.

and then he brings his boyfriend over and you'd only meant to get some ice cream from the freezer but they left the door cracked open. you, as the good friend he doesn't fucking deserve, close the door while keeping your eyes glued to the ceiling and go about your day.

(you're so teasing him about the fact that he sounds like a bleating sheep while getting rawdogged lmaoooo)

but the one that catches you in the kitchen minding your own business isn't soap. it's his boyfriend. and his boyfriend is as forward as a freight train on a downhill slope.

"saw ya lookin' at us."

? you did no such thing.

"if ya were lookin' for a fuck, coulda just said so."

you were doing no such thing but it doesn't matter because you're but a simple hot blooded individual and having two doting meat heads fighting over who gets to taste you first is something out of a romance book.

[poppy5991]

Thanks, I love it

Thanks, I hate it

[sems-diarie]

pro hero deku has a fleshlight of you. it’s off brand hero merch from some shady corner of his city. it had caught him by surprise, he hadn’t been looking for it.

well, izuku hadn’t been looking for a fleshlight with.. you on it. it’s a particularly tasteful design—he blames that, of all things, when he decides to slap some hundred dollar bills on the register and scurries away without making eye contact with anyone.

(that’s how much it cost, right? he might’ve left some over in change. izuku doesn’t really check until after he’s home and his pants have barely even collapsed to his thighs. and your printed tits bounce with every fucking stroke to the hilt, to his balls. izuku can’t tear his eyes off of your stickered, cute little face as he grinds down harder over the toy. humping down into it lets him see you better when he spreads his legs and fucks the well-lubed fleshlight like it really is you, his balls smacking lewdly with the filthy wet sounds. it’s less like he checks, and more like izuku stumbles into the price tag as he’s wiping a fat glob of cum off the god forsaken thing.)

snooping around where he shouldn’t be, katsuki finds it—used, dear god!—and threatens to tell you, their beloved, angel-dearest friend, about it every time deku does something to even mildly piss him off. deku cries :(

[letsplayeternity]

Honest question, I've been rethinking the whole "Colin has done the same with Penelope Featherington" speech Anthony gave to Daphne and his mother in season 1 and the fact that when Colin talked to his brothers in 3x05 both Ben and Anthony were like "I didn't have a clue" and like... do we think Anthony spent the evening rethinking every single interaction he has ever witnessed between Colin and Pen and every single instance where he let things slide because "oh that's just eloise's friend?" and just banging his head against a wall as Kate laughs her ass off??

[saragrosie]

I have been sketching. So much tma. Here's some expansions on my Jon and Martin designs I've been doing.

Another note I forgor to mention is I love how after hearing Simon go "it's enough to make your hair turn white" about Martin's office in s4 many of us collectively agreed his hair turned white because of his association with the Lonely. The shared consciousness is real and we use it to play hot potato with the communal brain cell dedicated to the sillies.

Closeup of apocalypse boyfriends (also to the person who said they love my s5 Jon's fancy white girl updo: I think about that every day)

[n0bluev]

Satoru booped Suguru and isnt letting him boop back (insufferable evil brat : [infinity mode])

Bonus: Catoru

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.

But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.

Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne

[lucabyte]

A belief in Nominative Determinsim

[lazycranberrydoodles]

transfems your wangxian

[hyuckonia]

rizzle rosehearts cooks for his best friend gone terribly wrong☹️ (the quesadilla smacked tho)

based on this video!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUqqgUgTxgg

bonus:

cater ace and deuce bully their boomer friend 💔💔💔

[lotus-pear]

bsd rewatch w my friend means obligatory art of my fav found family ever

[justaz]

arthur being able to feel merlins magic whenever he uses it bc it makes him feel all warm and tingly and at first he's stumped about it and goes to morgana for advice bc hello?? merlin makes him feel weird?? and its only merlin. it only happens when he's around. it's gotta be his fault. and morgana is like "lol nerd you like him" and he's like "oh fuck" bc he has the emotional intelligence of a walnut and begins to notice the warm and fuzzy feeling grows stronger the closer merlin is and is like "welp. im screwed" and then a magic reveal later and arthur notices the feeling happens whenever merlin uses magic and he's like "oh. thank god." and finally realizes the feeling was merlin's magic, not that arthur has feelings for him. it becomes the new norm and then merlin is dressing him for the day and makes a stupid joke before ducking arthur's hand that was going to cuff his ear, he laughs and walked around behind arthur and the warm, fuzzy feeling returns and he's like "stop. no cheating." and merlin is confused and arthur's like "i can feel you using magic, idiot. remember?" and merlin is like "i'm not using magic tho" and arthur scoffs like "alright, sure, whatever you say."

THIS becomes the new norm of merlin and arthur bantering and then arthur accusing him of using magic and merlin insisting that he isn't. then finally the feeling happens when merlin is staring directly at arthur, comforting him in a moment of vulnerability, and arthur can see his eyes remain blue but he feels as he normally does when merlin uses magic. he still accuses merlin of using magic but merlin just rolls his eyes and once again insists that he isn't, arthur can literally see when he uses magic bc his eyes flash gold. did they flash gold just now? hm? did they arthur? arthur then rebuts "then why did i feel all warm and fuzzy?" and merlin blinks thrice before grinning like the cat who caught the canary. he won't tell arthur about his feelings for merlin, he'll let him flounder for a bit. it's always fun to watch him be an idiot and as much as he wants to kiss his stupid face bc finally (finally) his feelings are reciprocated, it's enough for now to know that arthur feels the same. arthur is infuriated that merlin won't tell him. merlin is highly amused at his stupid not yet boyfriend

[mamawasatesttube]

my ideal timkon don't get together until they've both already done some queer realizations and dated other guys a little bit, in part because on tim's end, i think he's been in love with kon since he was 17, but at 17 tim didn't even know he was bisexual, forget anything else. and his feelings for kon were so big but also so constant that he didn't even realize they were there or significant because they've always been there and been huge. for years. so he putters along and does his time in the torment nexus (the closet) and languishes a bit but slowly starts to figure it out.

meanwhile kon dates someone, mostly like omg im dating a guy this is ALLOWED !??!?! and its pretty lowkey and casual and doesnt last bc like . super identity issues, right. kon would Never just tell someone, but secrets and casual relationships dont last long etc etc. but just the entire principle of kon dating someone and then being like yeah idk im not really feeling it like hes nice and all but i think hes more interested in like… yknow, my hot bod, than me. its whatever tho. and tim just being SOOOOO mad that someone would date kon and not absolutely adore him. tim will not be unpacking why hes so mad about kon having a shitty boyfriend. obviously its just bc kons his bestie and deserves better. (😶)

so he's just grouchily tinkering on some upgrade for his car to get the grumpy energies out. like WHATEVER! (angrily turns socket wrench) he's not saying kon should dump the guy or anything (angrily turns socket wrench) but he's just SAYING, kon can do BETTER!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) and kon DESERVES better!!! kon deserves someone who will treat him RIGHT!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) like if TIM was gonna fuck kon he wouldn't do it like a goddamn quickie and just fucking leave (angrily grabs the next size socket and scoots further under the car) like kon OBVIOUSLY doesn't like that so why won't this guy GET THAT!!!! (angry tinkering noises) if he's that shallow he can go find himself a sexy body pillow to screw!!! leave kon alone!!!!

and cassie sitting on a chair nearby is just like. sorry what was that? "if i was gonna fuck kon"? did you just say--hey tim? hey. can you go back a step?

and tim's just. obviously this is a hypothetical everyone considers about kon. look at him he's . you know. besides, tim's just talking as his best friend who wants the best for him! ugh stop trying to read into it cassie, that's not the POINT--

[ghost-proofbaby]

can y'all please come into my humble abode and imagine something with me i don't yet have the wits to write a full fledged fic out of (yet)?

so, everyone knows how when you get a tattoo, part of the healing process is the itchy phase, right? and for obvious reasons, you can't scratch it. favored method, in my experience and fellow tatted friends, is to just give it a good old slap.

perfect. so now, with this in mind, can you imagine having gotten a large hip/ass piece, and how mortifying it would be to smack your own ass to soothe that itch? and it's just plain painful. you want your new ink to heal properly - it's gorgeous and you put a lot of time, pain, and money into that damn thing - but it just sucks.

enter best friend eddie.

he loves your new ink. thinks it's fucking sick. nearly creamed his damn pants when he found out you were doing a hip/ass tatt (because how can he ask to see it without being weird? how can he react to that without being weird when he's spent the last several years with the world's most pathetic crush on you?) at first, it's fine. you show him the tattoo in a totally friendly, totally platonic way. he hypes you up, he calls you 'the most metal person he knows'. flourishes you with all the compliments and looks at you with starry eyes out of sheer awe at the way he's managed to snag a person into his life who is just so. damn. cool.

but the days pass by, that new ink begins to heal, and it fucking itches.

when you first proposition him, you're even more embarrassed than he is. stumbling over all your words, the request coming out contorted every wrong way. you don't want to make things weird, but is it really that weird for a friend to help a friend? it is really that weird to ask your best friend to smack your tattoo to help with that itch you can't even really properly reach?

it's just friends helping friends.

and that's the mantra you both repeat to yourselves - as you request the embarrassing favor of him, as he agrees almost too eagerly, as you find yourself face-planted in your bed wondering how deeply you can bury down your shame as he tries to make jokes to make it all a bit less awkward.

it's just friends helping friends, until eddie's hand lands down on your ass with a resounding smack, and that first little whimper escapes your lips.

[knox-knocks]

Thinking about wymack trying to break the news to the rookie kid about their problems with the japanese mafia without scaring him off the team only for the rookie kid to have his very own ties to a different but related gang is too fucking funny to me