#he gets to be a little unhinged as a treat

[haleswallows]

DC x DP Dead Tired 'Fake Relationship' plot bunny

Alright, imagine me presenting you with this like a proud cat bringing you the hair tie I just murdered. (Anyone is welcome to add to this - to treat it like a prompt or to expand on it. Just, like, let me know so I can consume it with an unhinged fervor, thank you!)

Tim (no longer forever 17) finds himself in a bit of a situation. One being that he's really fed up with Dick and Barbara and Alfred and even Bruce being nosy. And why are they being nosy?

Because that's their love language. And also, because for some absurd reason Tim cannot discern, Dick got it in his head that Tim is lonely. Which, of course means everyone has accepted the mission to get Tim hitched.

Is it that Tim and Bernard broke up? Is it that Tim has gone stag to every charity gala for the last year? Is it that Bruce finally pulled his head out of his ass and made things work out with Selina? The world may never know.

What Tim does know is he isn't lonely. He's fine. Truly.

Enter Danny Phantom.

The ghost hero is interesting. Tim side eyes the guy pretty hard when he joins the Justice League. For a dead guy, he's pretty cheery and up-beat. Honestly, with all the quips & puns, he could have been a Robin in a past life.

Surprising absolutely no one, Nightwing and Phantom quickly become butt-buddies, joined at the hip, partners in crime. Tim is not jealous, no matter what Dick says. He has his own team, his own cases, CEO work, etc etc etc and even more etc. Great, Dick has a new friend.

Too bad for Tim, one of his cases overlaps with Phantom's 'jurisdiction'. No one will tell Tim what that means. No worries, Tim will find out. He always does.

Red Robin and Phantom team up. It goes... great. No grievous injuries, the case gets solved, Phantom takes the frankly disturbing relic of Red Robin's hands. Tim cares only in-so-far that the thing is out of Gotham and Phantom promises (so-signed by Batman? the actual fuck?) it will be safe and won't return to the human realm.

They're wrapping up in one of Tim's more 'civilian' passing safe-houses. Mostly because it was the closest, and Phantom said something about 'ley lines' and 'easier to open a portal'. Cool, whatever. Tim was going to burn this safe-house soon anyway.

Tim, as always, gets himself into trouble. Chronic Thinking Too Much Disease, they really ought to make a cure for it. He's reflecting, watching Phantom eat Cheerios right out of the box, sitting on the counter, looking like he belongs there. When the fuck did Tim get Cheerios?

There's no denying it. Tim liked working with Phantom. The guy is good in a fight, doesn't rely on his powers too much, and kept up with Tim. Not not physically, but intellectually. And he's shockingly earnest when he isn't being a trash-talking little shit.

So. Tim gets an idea.

"Hey," he says before he's even thoroughly thought it out, "we should date."

Phantom pauses, gloved hand suspended in the middle of shoving another handful of cereal into his mouth, wide eyed and gaping. Attractive.

"Huh?" he says, eloquently.

"Not for real," Tim scrambles to explain. "I mean fake dating. Just hang around some, be a bit performative, nothing out of masks. We can say we're taking things slow and break up. Nightwing keeps trying to set me up with a date. This will get him off my case."

"Oooooh." Phantom resumes inhaling cereal. Why a ghost needs to eat, Tim would like to know, but it's probably rude to ask. Slowly chewing, Phantom seriously thinks it over. "You know, the council has been bugging me too. About dating. This could work out for both of us."

Council? Tim would like to know why a council is interested in Phantom dating. So he asks.

Phantom sighs explosively. Finally, he sets the Cheerios down. "OK, so like, this is need to know basis only. I haven't even disclosed it to the League. And like, Nightwing only knows because he's my friend and the Observants crashed one of our mission and blew the lid."

Pulling a face, Phantom waves an arm in an arc over his head. A crown appears, spinning and shooting off beams of light like an Aurora Borealis.

"I'm the Ghost King. It's a whole thing, no I am not taking questions on it at this time. Well, technically, I'm the Prince of the Infinite Realms because I'm too young to take the throne. So, there's a council and a regent. Whatever, not important!"

Phantom claps, getting himself back on track. "What that means is there's a council and Observants that are really interested in my personal shit. Including who I date. But like, I'm enjoying my brat girl summer and being single right now, not that they care."

Tim blinks. Then blinks again, slotting the new information in place alongside everything he knows about Phantom. That's... something.

"That sounds annoying," Tim says, instead of one of the approximately 23 questions in his head that are quickly spawning more by the second. "Fake dating would solve both of our problems."

Because Tim is a professional, they make a contract. Phantom will remain Red Robin's boyfriend, since they're taking it slow and no secret identities will need to be disclosed. Tim doesn't ask why Phantom would have a secret identity... he's dead? Saves the question for the later.

Red Robin will remain Phantom's totally human badass vigilante boyfriend, since they're taking it slow and Tim won't be required to do anything in any capacity for the Infinite Realms.

Then they set boundaries. Date ideas, what they're comfortable with for PDA, how much they'll have to do to sell it.

"I mean," Phantoms says, again with a mouthful of Cheerios. "Clockwork monitors the timelines, so he definitely already knows what we're doing. And he hasn't intervened yet." When Tim gives him A Look, Phantom helpfully explains, "He only intervenes when I do something stupid enough that'll change the course of the multiverse. So," then shrugs, entirely too nonchalant for Tim's tastes.

"If Clockwork already knows, won't he say something to the council or the Observants?" The very Observants Phantom has guaranteed will pop in on Tim at some point. So Tim feels compelled to ask.

"Nah," Phantom says. He kicks his feet from where he's sitting on the kitchen table now, right at Tim's elbow. "He hates the Observants more than I do. I bet he loves this. He's always down to fuck with them."

Great. That's... great.

Nothing can go wrong, right?

[a1ecmcdowell]

( -_•)╦̵̵̿╤─ ㅤ ─ ㅤ the people all scream. ( d.w ) ²

cw. pre-established relationship. normal!au (kind of). unhinged!dean. sweet!reader. obsessive tendencies. ig you could say ... gaslighting as a tag but its not that deep.

"what's this?"

your voice sounds so sweet in his ears. it always does. it has a lilt at the end, like everything you ask is tacked with a gentle little question mark. you'd been cleaning the house. he'd been doing dishes in the kitchen.

sundays were like that, with dean and you. it was a cleaning day. he didn't feel unsafe or worried for you at all, his head was at rest, because you were always within sight.

dean glances over his shoulder, and he expects to see the ring that he'd gotten for you in your hands. a bright smile on your face, knowing what it meant. instead, he sees his knife.

clean and sharp as ever. not a trace of blood on its handle, or staining the steel.

it takes all of his strength to not react; to keep an air of nonchalance. his fingers still, though, with the sponge in one hand, and the ceramic plate in the other.

"a knife," he says slowly, and he hates talking to you like this. it kills him, to treat you like anything besides the perfect partner he knows you are. he sets the plate on the drying rack and turns off the sink faucet as he turns to face you. "was in my nightstand, yeah?"

you nod. your face is lit up in curiosity, not fear, never fear. he could reveal every dirty secret he keeps buried in his mind and you wouldn't be afraid, he thinks.

"s'just for if someone breaks in," dean waves his hand dismissively, "just in case. there's a lot of fucked up people out there, isn't there?"

no. he is not one of them. the monsters he takes care of for you, in your defense, try to tell him this every time, as their blood splatters onto his clothes and his eyes go bleary and sting from it getting in them, but he's not. he does this for you. he is protecting you.

the relief on your face at his words is evidence enough, isn't it? that you need him? that without him, you'd end up gutted by a werewolf, drained by a vampire, or some other fucked up thing that he's kept you from figuring out about?

you turn on your heel, and his heartrate finally decreases to a normal speed in his chest, even as his lungs ache. dean does not want you to learn about the sacrifices he's made to keep you safe. that is not on you. it's his choice. he'll make it every day.

"make sure to put it back, yeah?"

you don't ever notice when his voice cracks, or he stumbles over his excuses like they're physical road blocks. you didn't notice, once, when his white button-up had a blood speckled collar. tossed it into the wash with all of his other clothes. he'd thrown that shirt out, though ─ didn't want it to be a bad omen.

was it, still? you'd found his knife. his lucky blade, inherited from his father, a weapon unused until it reached dean's hands. on the handle, a 'w' engraved. his destiny carved out for him.

no. he makes the decision, ultimately, to trust his judgements. it'd gotten him this far, hadn't it?

he will continue to ignore that his judgements had led to numerous deaths by his hands. that there would always be more to come, because the world was so, so determined to get its filthy, violent hands on his angel's innocent, untouched skin.

dean picks up the plate again, scrubs it until the sponge's top layer is starting to crumble in his fingers. scrubs it more, then, because his baby deserved perfect, and nothing in this house was clean so long as he touched it.

so he'd clean it. again and again. wash away the blood on his hands over and over, so they'd be good enough to deserve touching you. his pretty, naive baby.

. . . tags.

@whyyouegg @sthefferrete @cevansbaby-dove @titsout4nicholas @cosmicanakin

@bluestrd @ultravi0lence14 @mccartneyqp @poughkeepsie99 @depressionbarbie2023

@im-bili @ariasong11 @chevroletdean @angelblqde @ostaramoon

@deansbite @lyarr24 @psyches-reid @reynas13 @momoewn

@deanswidow @jasvtsc @figthoughts @beausling @frosttbitessam

@aileenunfiltered

[dairy-farmer]

Unhinged DamiTim, where Damian finds out Tim has one of those birth control implants in his arm and loses his damn mind. Tim wakes up to Damian standing over his bed with a scalpel in one hand, and the other feeling around for the implant.

The idea that he can't just get Tim pregnant from fucking raw because of this stupid little device is Completely Unacceptable. How dare Tim try to render his womb uninhabitable, even if only temporarily?!?

(they don't even need to be in a relationship or fucking right now. It might actually be funny if they're not; Obviously Tim (and his womb) belong to Damian! So what if he hasn't actually told Tim about his feelings? Irrelevant!)

Damian can be an unhinged little freak about Tim. As a treat ❤️. (It will be easier in the long run if Tim just gives it and accepts it.)

-❤️🦇

damitim

😭😭😭 im losing it this is EXACTLY the kind of unhinged shit damian would do. they're not even together yet and tim wakes up to damian attempting to perform minor surgery on him to rip out the implant thats preventing him from getting tim pregnant as if THATS the thing thats standing in the way 😭

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

I don't know who brought out the idea of FL as a dragon. I love it!

ME TOO i'm using this as an excuse to ramble more about Foul Legacy dragon

listen, you're the most precious treasure in his hoard. that's just a rule. a dragon's beloved is always their most protected and cherished thing, and you're no different- in fact, perhaps you're even more so, since Foul Legacy has spent countless years alone. he's finally found the one he holds dear above all else, you can't really blame him. sometimes he just decides that he wants you close, nosing up against your back and taking the collar of your shirt between his teeth to carry you away, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. he settles you between his claws, head resting on your shoulder and letting out a soft huff filled with stars and deep affection as his tail wraps securely around your legs and flops over into your lap, almost begging for scritches

he's also, admittedly, a little protective of you, especially around other dragons. namely Zhongli, it's mostly around Zhongli. Legacy has learned to mostly suppress the urge to growl and ruffle his fur when in his human form, but even then he- Ajax- stares eerily at him, pupils thinning into slits. it only lasts until Zhongli finally backs away with a hasty goodbye, disappearing into the crowd, and Foul Legacy is so proud of himself as he hugs you tight. slowly you coax him and Zhongli into getting along- though they'll NEVER be seen in their dragon forms together- until they can sit in the same room together without any issues, Zhongli drinking peacefully from his teacup. although, Ajax does still stare at him from time to time, and when you ask why, he merely laughs and says he's hungry

[anomura]

john's jealous territorial ass going after every woman that tries to hit on gale so they get with him instead

[moeblob]

son boy raccoon trash can man suffering in a dnd au as a cleric bc his warlock will not stop committing murders and he has to keep coming up with reasons murder is valid to convince the gm its fine and under control

[lambmotifz]

i do love the interpretation that dean’s violence toward sam partly comes from his repressed desire to ravish the absolutely fuck out of him, sink his teeth into sam’s meat & take what belongs to him. because it’s his birthright

[crossbackpoke-check]

yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24

[jane---prentiss]

carlos in the new night vale episode

[vigilskeep]

ok i was never really one for like one specific color hawke but i would primarily choose purple and red options bc like haha but i was looking at the hawke wiki and saw that a blue hawke says "when in doubt, run away, and let me handle it" and oh my god?? dude?? big brother coded fr u right

all hawkes are delightful in their own little ways i am super excited to mix it up

[ozlices]

they really do just dangle the concept of a pandora hearts anime reboot being an actual thing over our heads like we are rats in a maze with unobtainable cheese around the corner. like. is the 2% sanity i have left a joke to u. this is so sick. i feel like shit i just want to look forward to seeing my son on a regular basis again

[kkujo]

bruabba and fugio are good ships however 80% of the people who post about them are annoying about it. like. same with jotakak and kakyoin stans actually. the way ppl obsess over them and water it down until it's so uwuified and far removed from the source that the characters are just bland and boring. idk where i was going with this

[waywardsalt]

i hope im bellum’s biggest fan

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Ok but BUT hear me out...imagine Reader who has a permanent, massive scar on their body because of Foul Legacy for whatever reason...

Maybe it's a bite that digs deep into one of their thighs, or claw marks that go down their shoulder blade to their lower back. Reader usually keeps them hidden under clothing to avoid questions but in privacy they just show them off because even if they were painful (where they??) Reader likes them and feels it's like they're basically marked by their beloved monster moth, because let's be honest maybe just maybe Reader is a bit unhinged-- I mean, they're dating an abyssal creature, a handsome one, but an abyssal creature nevertheless.

Ahem...do you have an official anon list? I'm going to just sign under an anon name for future research on our favorite sparkly moth. Bless your brain, bless your blog 💗

— 🕯️ Anon

hehe i like the term research, we are all moth researchers here :D

it was an accident, how you got the scar, at the very beginning of knowing Foul Legacy. too much too quickly, Zhongli had said. now of course you both know that you were simply trying to help, reaching out to touch the anguished monster's shoulder, only for him to lash out in terror. a long wound starting from your shoulder and trailing down your chest and to the side- luckily it wasn't too deep, merely very, VERY painful- that healed into a scar that would never fade. you had to stay away from Legacy for a few days, knowing that your condition would only send him into further distress. Zhongli told you that the Abyssal beast had cried pitifully until you returned, scratching desperately at his bloodstained claws. he was careful, after that. the only wounds that came after were tiny in comparison, little nicks and punctures that came from accidentally brushing his talons over your skin a bit too fast. it's almost funny, how much he tries not to hurt you- funny, but wonderfully sweet

Legacy hates it at first, the evidence of his terrible strength. he winces every time he sees it across your skin- how could he have marred someone so perfect? but you don't mind it at all, once it heals. it's almost a symbol of your connection, of your undying love for Foul Legacy, and to you there's no shame in displaying it when you're at home, as natural as breathing. it's a part of you, after all. he tilts his head in astonishment when you admit that you like the scar, that you like the bond between the two of you. with a small huff Legacy nudges his head against your shoulder, almost embarrassed as he gently traces the mark with a single claw before delicately nibbling the tips of your fingers. perhaps it's true, that it makes you as his. and your sweet kisses and tender words mark him as yours, a maddened, Abyssal Harbinger

though, it seems you might be a little mad, too. so you shall be mad together, and what a wonderful thing that is

[crehador]

i remember also having this feeling during the first season but it’s become so much more obvious in season two that there is something going on in the minato-seiya-masaki-shuu situationship that is being severely obfuscated in the anime and as an anime-only i just find myself in a constant state of bewilderment because their actions seem to suggest they are reasonably Normal about one another while the vibe they give off is that they are very clearly Not

[cowboycharmac]

fighting the serial killer dennis allegations by writing serial killer mac