#he feels safe; enclosed on all sides with pressure and warmth above him

[arsenicflame]

Edward "human weighted blanket" Teach & Izzy "crush my soul out of my body" Hands

[ayamturd]

here│tommyinnit

summary: reunited once again, y/n comforts their brother when he needs them the most

warnings: angst to fluff, death, slight spoiler to dsmp

pairing: in-game platonic!tommy 

a/n: sad tommy lore that i was able to tie into ‘safe’ (first pt)

edit: i’m honestly wondering if i should try doing another part to finish off the recent lore with tommy 👀 - send asks if should :3

wc: (1.3k) - m.list

safe - pt one

Everything hurt until it suddenly didn’t. 

As if a wave of relief consumed his entirety, the pain became numb and every ache slowly washed away. He was floating, his body weightless and drifting in the endless void of darkness. The silence was soft, sound almost nonexistent while evading an empty ringing. When did I fall asleep? 

At the sudden realization, the memories over came him. Tommy panicked at the thought, remembering the last things that had happened to him. He opened his eyes but couldn’t see, fear overtaking him as he tried to yell or move but he could do anything. Nothing. 

Suddenly, he was falling. The feeling of a force dragging him down, gripping him till he couldn’t breathe set fear into him; he felt trapped like in the prison again for it was too dark, no one could hear him scream his heart out in his desperate cries for help, and despite the seemingly endless space, he was enclosed with no where to run. 

As the air picked up and he felt crushed under the heavy pressure above, Tommy anticipated the impact below and shrink into himself before striking the invisible ground. 

A light overwhelmed him and forced his eyes open. Blinking harshly to the immense brightness surrounding him, Tommy opened his eyes to the vast abyss as if he had just woken up. He glanced around him, confused, until a familiar voice spoke up.

“Oh Tommy.”

He froze, turning sharply to the sound. Standing across him was his older sibling, a sad smile adorning their face. They looked idyllic in the reflective white surrounding, standing, breathing, in front of him with their hands to their side. He noticed they were wearing the last thing he saw them, save for the blood, in during the war. Before their death. Scared and disoriented, Tommy started to tear up from the sight of them. 

“You’re not supposed to be here so soon.”

He let out a sob at that, loosing all sense in pride as he bounded forward to embrace them. Y/n anticipated it and wrapped their arms around him tight, pulling the boy’s head into their chest while he whimpered broken cries.

“It’s okay, it’s okay let it out.” He clung onto them firmly, refusing to break his grip like he was afraid they would disappear again. He wept and he wailed, for all the burden stacked against him had finally come undone, the build of expectations to save everyone and everything crashing all down at once. 

Y/n stroked the boy’s hair, Tommy bent down awkwardly to fit within their arms. They both couldn’t care for his height though as y/n held him securely, murmuring small words of reassurances until his cries slowly died down.

“I was all alone,” Tommy whispered, “I was trapped alone with him for so long.” His voiced cracked at the recollection, and Y/n gently hushed him.

“Shhh. I know, I know.”

“H—he… he said everyone left me. That no body cared or would come. He was right…” Y/n’s heart broke from Tommy’s words. He used to be so lively and eccentric, yet the years had worn him down despite being so young to the harshness of the world and the corrupt natures of greed and the evil. Y/n could do nothing but clutch him harder.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you then, but I’m here to hold you now. I’m here, Tommy. I’m here.” Their words only brought more tears, and Tommy continued to cry with deep, shuddered breathes between.

Eventually, he calmed himself to an extent, still clinging to their shirt like a small child hiding from the monsters that live in reality. Tommy buried himself deeper into the safety of y/n’s hold, now taking in their warmth for the fact that he could again. He sighed with content and relief, prompting y/n to feel they could speak their current thought. “You were so brave throughout it all, and you’ve made us so proud.”

Clearing his throat while sniffing slightly, Tommy couldn’t help asking the question and pulled away. “Who’s ‘us’?” 

Y/n chuckled in response and looked past Tommy.

“You didn’t think we’d leave you all on your own now, did you?” For the second time that day, Tommy’s eyes widened and he shifted to look behind him.

“Wilbur?”

There he stood, grinning slightly, puffy hair and all. His eyes were kind and held an old piece of himself again, a piece thought lost to the insanity of man with nothing to gain. “Hello Tommy.”

Unlike with y/n, Tommy couldn’t move, still gaping from the idea his brother was also truly there. His brother as himself nonetheless. Wilbur noted this and chose to walk forwards, positioning himself next to y/n’s side. 

“Wasn’t expecting you here early.” He yelped as y/n glared and smacked his right arm. Wilbur rubbed his side from the strike and whined about his feelings being hurt, however, his smile said otherwise.

“Oh you know I was only joking.” 

Turning back to address Tommy, Wilbur didn’t hesitate to pull the boy in a strong hug. He held his brother’s head into his shoulder crook, with an arm reaching around to steadily lock the boy in place. Tommy lifted his arms to reciprocate the gesture, yet paused with his arms hovering over Wilbur’s shoulders, still in shock. It was only until Wilbur briefly squeezed him that he came to his senses and embraced the tall man. 

They rocked so delicately from side to side, and Tommy almost teared up again at the nostalgic  emotions that overcame him. It had been too long since Tommy was last embraced to feel small and had experienced any physical affection from his older brothers at all. Breathing in while breathing out, Wilbur smelt clean yet with a hint of ash, the scent from his old trench coat reminding Tommy of a past that still remained despite residing in the empty limbo. 

“Didn’t know this is what you meant when saying ‘see you soon’,” Wilbur said, his slight humor muffled against the fabric of Tommy’s shirt. Tommy took a moment before answering.

“Neither did I.” Sensing his internal distraught, Wilbur stepped back to closely observe him. It was there that Wilbur finally noticed the slight bags beneath his eyes and the cloudy film over his pupils, Tommy almost unaware that Wilbur was assessing him as he continued to stare downwards. His brother looked ragged and awful, Wilbur noted, but the most scaring visible factor was how scared Tommy seemed. Even emotionally and physically tired, Wilbur saw how unconsciously tense he was once let go of.

“Tommy.” Tommy faintly nodded, yet his gaze remained fixed. Wilbur shook his shoulders, trying to break him of his trance.

“Tommy, look at me.” The commanding tone in Wilbur’s voice spooked him, and Tommy’s eyes moved around, frightened at the demand. Y/n, who had been standing mere steps away to give them some privacy, rushed towards the pair upon seeing Tommy’s panic. They rested a hand to Wilbur’s shoulder with the other against Tommy’s cheek. Immediately, he relaxed at the touch and bowed his head, eyes closed. 

“You’re alright now, okay? You’re safe.” Without looking at them, Tommy nodded regardless. As Wilbur laid a hand to Tommy’s closets arm, Tommy raised his own hands to grip each of his siblings’ wrists on him, taking in the contact between them. 

“I missed you,” he quietly admitted. “I’ve missed you both so much.” 

Wilbur and Y/n both looked to each other before focusing on Tommy again. 

“There was no need to, Toms, we were always there.” Tommy peered up at the words, slightly lost to their meaning. 

“I made a promise didn’t I? No matter if you couldn’t see us, I said I would be there for you, and we always were until the very end.”

[biaswreckme]

tear you apart | jjk

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader (established relationship)

Member: Jungkook

Length: 2267 words

Genre: smut

Rating: 18+

Triggers/Warnings: smut, bdsm, sub!jk, domme!reader, a bit of noona kink, praise kink, edging, ruined orgasm, overstimulation, rimming (not really though?), fingering (m), sex toys, crying, dacryphilia, safe, sane, and consensual sex, aftercare

A/N: So this emerged in a network chat conversation with @joheunsaram​ and somehow it turned into a request but also I needed to write this fic. It turned out wilder and kinkier than I thought it would be, but well, I guess that’s what happens when you’re working a lot and haven’t written any smut for a while. Thanks to @taegularities​ for beta-reading this ♥ ilysm and I’m sorry? haha. joheunsaram, I hope this live up to your expectations, and I Hope you all enjoy it 👀

Summary: No plot really, just some really filthy porn. 

This can be read as a stand-alone fic or as a part 2 to My Euphoria (in the sense that it’s the same idol!Jungkook/reader universe).

He always looks so incredibly pretty like this. Brown doe eyes wide open; moistness gathered in his eyelashes; face, ears, neck, chest flushed with a delightful shade of pink, enhanced by the sheen of sweat that perpasses his body; the small high-pitched whimpers and whines that leave his mouth, his begging. You lick your lips, looking at this beautiful picture you have been painting for the past couple of hours, appreciating your masterpiece. 

The first strokes of your brush happened in the living room, with Jungkook sitting on a chair with his arms tied behind his back, legs secured with the softest of scarves to the furniture in a way that displayed his erection and balls to you. You had teased him there, soft touches to his cock, the pressure never enough for him to be fully satisfied, slowly bringing him to the beginning of the edge and letting go time after time. You checked in periodically, needing to know he was still with you, and he always answered “green, noona”, his voice small and eyes glossed over. You continued painting the picture as you watched as small beads of sweat started to glisten on his body. He struggled to not move and his closed-mouth moans started turning into whimpers. And then you moved to the suite, getting more comfortable and giving his limbs some rest, but his cock stayed hard, the tip leaking with his arousal.

And now, he is lying on your bed, waiting for what you are going to do next, his eyes pleading for some mercy. You reach the box of toys that are carefully and neatly organized under the bed, watching his eyes widen even more in expectation. It is time to bring out the new addition to the collection, perfect to keep him even more on the precipice as you deny his falling. You see his chest raise in time with his breath, a little quicker now, as you walk to the bathroom to wash it, and then put it on the bed alongside with its remote control, the bottle of lube, a towel, and some disposable gloves. This is not the first time you’re doing this, but he has never tried this type of toy before, so you are very intrigued as to what he is going to think about it. 

He obeys you promptly when you tell him to turn over and spread his legs. You get on top of him, starting to kiss the back of his neck, slowly going down the expanse of his back, kissing each mole. You hear his sob at the same time you see him clench his hands by his head and you stop, worried.

“Kook?”

He turns his head to the side and you see his furrowed brows as he says “green, please, noona, please…”

“Please what, Jungkook?” You feel the relief running through your body.

“Please,” he whines, “don’t tease…”

“Well, love, I want to tease you a little bit more and you want to be a good boy for me, don’t you?”

“Yes, noona, but…”

“Can you be a good boy for me, Kook?”

“Yes, noona.” His mouth turns into a pout and his brows furrow a little more, and you almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

“If you can be a good boy for me, I might let you come, how about that?” The plan that you made for this scene in your mind solidifies.

He answers with a nod and gets back into position, relaxing his body and laying his head on his crossed arms. So you continue your journey in kissing down his body, stopping at the bottom of his spine. “Spread yourself for me, Jungkook.”

He does so without hesitation, his hands pressing on his round cheeks to obey you and give access to all parts of him. You give him a slow lick, feeling his hole clench under your tongue, and you chuckle. He is so responsive when he is kept on edge like this; it is so entertaining to watch his reactions. But you decide to not waste any more time, getting the gloves and the lube. You put the glove on and drizzle a generous amount of the gel on your fingers, warming it up before slowly circling his hole with one finger, seeing him clench again. You tease the ring of muscle, alternating between circling around it and pressing just the tip of your finger inside until you feel him almost go limp under your ministrations. You apply more pressure on that finger, slowly inching its way into his warmth and going out, until you have your palm flush against his skin. Your other hand caresses his thigh while you wait for him to get used to the intrusion, and you know exactly the moment when it starts to feel good because his hips start moving ever so slightly fucking into the bed. 

You allow him to keep the movements going, letting him enjoy this for now as you help by moving your finger in time with his thrusts, loosening him up and getting ready for the next finger to join. You hear his moan when the second digit joins and you apply more lube to help, going slowly so as not to hurt him, moving it in and out until there is no more resistance. You begin opening him up more, going slowly, dragging your fingers against his walls and pressing down ever so slightly until his hips stop abruptly.

“Stop, stop, stop, please.” He is out of breath and begging, but no sign of pain in his voice.

“What is it, baby?” You pause but don’t take your fingers out yet, but you notice that his hips are raised from the bed.

“I was close. Too close,” he says in between breaths, and you feel a sense of pride and love filling your chest.

“Good boy, Kook. You’re such a good boy for telling me to stop, I’m very proud of you.”

You see him blush at the compliment and hide his face in the pillow, but you keep caressing his thigh and complimenting him as you wait for the edge to go down. When he lowers his hips again, you know you can continue, but you decide to move on with your plans. You picked out a smaller prostate massager, small enough that two fingers are the preparation he needs for now. You pick up the toy, lubing it up before you take off the glove and discard it by the towel, inside out. 

“Are you ready?” 

“Yes, noona.”

You start to slowly press the toy inside him, seeing as his hole opens up to accept it. He clenches around the toy, a high-pitched moan leaving his mouth, and you can barely wait to hear the beautiful sounds that will come from him when you turn it on. When it is completely inside, you get him to turn around. His cock is flushed and leaking against his belly, and it looks as hard as it has ever been. 

“Hands above your head now. Color?”

“Green, noona,” he says as he intertwines his fingers and raises them up to press into the pillow he’s using. 

The spit on his cock from before when you used your mouth to edge him has already dried, so you get some of the lube to make your hands glide across his cock smoothly and you pick up the remote control with your other hand. You press the button to turn it on at the same time as your wet fist closes loosely around him, and his loud moan is like music to your ears. Maybe one day you can record something like that… It does not take long until his breath quickens and little whimpers start leaving his mouth, signaling he is getting close. You wait until you hear that hitch in his voice and stop all movement, turning off the massager as well.

“No, noona, no, please…” he cries out, a tear rolling down his cheek as his lips round in a pout. “Please, noona.” 

“You’re being such a good boy for me, Kook, hang in there just a little bit more.” You emphasize the little part.

“Ok, noona.” He whines, clearly not agreeing with the idea.

Your fingers encircle his erection again and he cries out immediately, the edge not completely faded, still too intense for him. Perfect. You stroke him a few times, very quickly turning on and off the vibrator before stopping again, and you repeat this a couple more times, keeping his edges closer and almost constant until the point in which your palm touching him is enough to get him there. You see another tear rolling down his cheek as he begs please again and again so beautifully, and you decide it is time for the next step. You press the button on the control, making him feel the vibrations inside him a little higher this time, and your wet fingers enclose his cock more tightly. You barely move your fist up and down before a loud moan graces your ears and you know you have him right there at the precipice. Your fist moves up and down another time and when you feel his cock twitching on your palm, you stop the vibrations and take your hand off him, seeing him raise his hips, whine so loudly a resounding and long no as streaks of cum start to paint his belly. He thrusts his hips in the air, his cock twitching against nothing as the last streaks of cum from his ruined orgasm land on his skin. Your eyes are glued to his face, watching for his reaction, and as soon as it happens, the tears that have been threatening to fall for a while do so, rolling down his cheeks as he cries out in frustration. 

You turn the vibrator on again, choosing a high and intense setting, and the cum on him helps the hand you close around his softening erection move even better now. He clenches the sheets on the side of his body and tries to move his hips away from your touch, but you don’t relent, stroking him quick and tight. He whimpers loudly at your touch, whining that it hurts, but you keep going, feeling him harden again under your continuous ministrations. You turn on the vibration, setting up a notch and he thrusts in your fist in and out, pausing when he lowers his hips, and you can tell he is divided between giving into the slight pain and getting away from it. You give him time to think as you don’t stop, your thumb circling his head at each upward stroke on his erection. 

“Come on, Kook. You’ve been such a good boy, you deserve a nice reward,” you say softly while you keep looking at him, watching for any sign of real discomfort. “Come for me again, baby.”

It is as if your words coax the orgasm out of him, his moan turning into a sob as he cums again and cries, letting all the tears out. This time you stroke him through it, making him feel everything, his entire body shaking with the intensity of the second orgasm. When you see him start to wind down from the orgasm, you stop the movements and turn off the massager, carefully taking it out of him. You take the towel to wipe the excess lube away and you leave it at the edge of the bed, the toy on top of it; you can wash it in a while - now you need to take care of Jungkook. You hug him against your chest as he sobs, and your fingers entangle in his hair while you keep repeating that he’s done so good for you and you’re so proud of him, that you love him, that he’s special to you, that he’s your good boy. For the first few minutes he just slumps against you, but as he starts to calm down, his arms hug you back tightly, pressing you into his body. 

“I’m here, Kook. I’m here. I love you, baby, so so much.” You kiss his forehead and his wet cheeks, and then you start wiping down some of his tears, now that they are stopping.

You blindly reach behind you on the side table to get a bottle of water, making him take small sips while propped up on an elbow. He’s slowly getting back to you, and there is no rush. He is your priority right now. He clears his throat and speaks so softly you can barely hear him at first.

“Thank you, noona.” 

“Of course, baby, anything for you. We can talk later, ok? Don’t rush. Want to eat some crackers?” you ask, but he shakes his head in negation.

He nods and smiles, an euphoric look on his face, now that his sobs have ebbed down enough, almost sleepy. “I love you too, Y/n.”

“Shower?” you ask, but he shakes his head no. “Nap first?” He nods in affirmation, and you smile. “Let’s nap then, we’ll change the sheets later.”

“What… what about you?”

“What about me, love?”

“You didn’t…”

“Tonight was about you, Jungkook.” You kiss him, then continue. “It was all about you, no need to worry about me, ok? Now close your eyes and nap, baby, and when we wake up in a short while we’ll get cleaned up better and have some dinner.”

You hug him tighter and fall asleep together in the comfort of each other’s arms.

[rosyk]

Clichè

pairing: lee minho x reader

genre: heavy or light angst, fluff, marriage, misunderstandings

warnings: light curses, situations that involves deep anger or sadness, mentions of disease, death(?)

word count: 5.2k

a/n: Hi it’s your gal, rosyk. I’m back with writing fanfictions and it’s like 4 in the morning. I haven’t slept yet so there are many grammatically incorrect sentences or spelling errors. Hope you enjoy this one though! (Inspired by Dear John- Taylor Swift)

I sat by the car, the same old one he and I used to drive in. This was a simple car but we swore to use this for our wedding since memories are still stuck. It made me wonder what could’ve happened if everything went right? What would’ve happened to us if there were no obstacles in life? It then made me realize that indeed there were no obstacles, none other than you.

I drove the car to meet your sister who desperately needed to talk to me. She said there were secrets I needed to know but I get the gist of what she’s trying to do. Set me up? Trap me? Convince me? So I could be tempted to get back into your cage? I don’t want that to happen, never again. I’m sick and tired of this one-sided relationship I never noticed because I was blinded. Aced all my tests, I am smart. But when it comes to you, I look like a whole fool trying to fall in love with a guy who gave up. This is why I wanted to show her that I’ve moved on, at least based on my view. Wearing both of my earphones and played our song, I sighed deeply and continued to drive along Cornelia street. My days only revolved around you but what exactly went wrong in between us? Scratch that, what happened to you?

Back then, all I could do was love you. Not less but everything more. I could never stand loving you lesser each day. It’s not on obsessing but to the point that I recognize your feelings though still, I try to force myself. You know how I do grow tired from time to time, but that’s all because I care for you. There’s not much positivity from that though. The downfall happens when I love you much more than you feel for me. It was never equal no matter how I try to persuade myself, desperately needing your affection.

My mother used to tell me how crazy I was to fall for a guy like you. How was I supposed to tell her you were fine since then? Yesterday, you rained me with care. On Friday, you sucked it all up and acted as if nothing happened. All I could do was pray that the guy I used to know, is the one I’ll meet today and greet me in front of the door with wide gentle hugs.

You give me hope, then take it back all at once. I remembered a sunny sky in blue that suddenly turned grey after you decided to shrug me off several times. I was in your tiny piece of chess game. Though you change the rules every day, hoping I would give up until the end. What’s funny is that typically families opposing would be the ones who would give tests to both of the couples to prove their love. And yet, you were the one who was trying to give me a hard time and when I was lost in the thought of giving you up, you decided to save me at the end of the day.

You were a puzzle I couldn’t solve. Little did I know, there was a missing piece I could never find until then. Just like a whole puzzle, you were complicated but due to my drive and need, I had to hang on to my aim. I had to do it because I was convinced by all your “sorry“. Or maybe it’s just me trying to change my mindset to find a reason to stay because I knew there was no difference between all your other sorrys before.

“Which Minho would I be able to talk to on the phone?” It runs through my mind each Sunday of my life and gives me anxiety. But every time I hear the phone ring? I never hesitated to pick it up. No matter what kind of guy I am faced with, I wanted to know deeper why you were acting so confusing. But on that single day, I didn’t pick up the phone. I cried and had sleepless nights. My worst nightmare just came and here’s why:

“Don’t you think this is a good improvement? We’ll sit by the couch and place a big screen tv.” You placed your arm above my shoulder and I continued your lovely story.

“Then we’ll watch your performances?” I looked at you in the eye, grinning as you smirked at my idea. You hummed in question and tilted your head. “Lee Minho, the most famous kpop idol who reached internationally and was supported by his lovely fans” I placed both of my hands above, imaging a billboard banner with your name and face on it. Thousands of people watching and idolizing you.

“Really?” You shifted your position into a more comfortable one as I leaned on your chest. Nodding at my suggestion, you pressed your lips together and listened to me, getting all happy after trying to predict and set goals in our lives.

“Of course! Why not?” I turned my head to face you and gave you a slight hit. “I could feel the energy of the universe as if it's trying to tell me that was our fate” You playfully laughed at the girl in front of you who is telling such an exaggerating fairytale. “Besides, ” I went back to my position and grabbed your arms around my waist. “Your number one fan is just a surgeon anyway” You responded with an oh? as you began to get amused with my statements. “A surgeon who never failed to help people even in a situation full of pressure. The best surgeon in the district” I smiled in a bragging manner, lifting my hand to flip my hair.

“I like that” you nodded in approval. “But don’t you think it’s much better with the title, the best surgeon found around the world?” My eyes lit up with stars because indeed that was a better match. I grinned and raised my eyebrow.

“That’s better” an idea popped up and so I turned back once again. You looked at me in confusion and waited until I would continue what I wanted to say. “But how about the dating ban? Does that mean we have to keep it low?” You looked at me concerningly and so I did. Panic arose in my mind. “Or maybe we-“

You placed your hand up my lip and shushed me. Everything is going to be fine, you tried to assure me. Lifting up your hand and caressed my face, you continued and stared at my pouty lips. “Of course not. It’s you,” with a silent pause, you pointed directly at me with a lovingly stare “and I” you did the same back at yourself and held my hand, enclosing it together. “against the whole world”. You chuckled whilst you tipped your forehead on mines.

“Too cliché” I laughed at you but no doubt that made my heart flutter. Oh, how I wish he knew how much I love him.

[MONTHS LATER]

“Do you have everything packed?” I sighed deeply the minute I rummaged through the closet. I stopped as soon as I saw the yellow hoodie hung inside. “You forgot the hoodie!” I chuckled though scared, deeply hoping this isn’t what I think it is.

“That’s your favorite. Keep it” he smiled but those words pierced straight through me. I felt what he meant. My last token for our relationship, isn’t it? What happened to all those you and I against the world? Were all those just things to make me feel relieved?

“Oh” I responded dryly and gulped, pressing my lips together to stop these drops from falling. “Mhm, ’kay” I closed the closet and faced the guy who’ll soon be leaving. “Go” You looked at me with pity and everything I didn’t want to see in your eyes. I’m okay, at least that’s what I like to believe. As I was busy trying to act tough because I don’t want you to see me being vulnerable once again, you gave me the warmth I needed. A necessity in my dark days.

“I’m sorry. I won’t leave you alone, maybe quite busy but I’d never wanted to split up with you” I finally cried after everything. It was a big wash down of emotions and you felt sorry again. It was a painful sight for you, I know.

“But those hoodies..” sniffs went in between those sobs. As usual, you tried to assure me by caressing my face. It was an act to show that we’ll still stay the same.

“I want you to return this to me after I become an idol. I want you to promise you’ll hold on to us. Wait for me okay?” That was the first and last time I’ve ever seen you cry. It hurts deep bad, but I didn’t want to be an obstacle to your goal as well. I’ll wait no matter how many years it may take.

[DECEMBER OF 2018]

Hey, I’m not sure if you still received my letters. It’s been long, don’t you think? I feel like you don’t remember me anymore but I was your first love haha. Would you still be able to know me after I come back there? I’ve heard you all over the news. Minho, the guy who brought K-pop internationally and broke the Billboard charts. I told you that you’d make it. Me? I’m now a surgeon. Not internationally, but definitely in the district. I’ll get there soon, right? One more question, can I return the hoodie? I did wait for you, hoping you did as well.

I sighed for only God knows how many times for this day. The more I’ve been sending letters, the less I’ve been receiving.

I held on to the letter and got up from my bed after hearing a call once again. The last time I was able to sleep was decades ago and so I had to go back to work. Luckily, it wasn’t a heavy operation but I just had to check-in by the hospital to get the patient’s results.

“Good afternoon, Mrs!.” My patient joked and I could clearly see my best friend smirking.

“Maddie! Stay safe when you get home alright?” I smiled greeting the patient who joked before getting ready to leave

“Hey, hey it’s not too safe to go outside yet. Call someone to assist you. Take care!” Another response of mine was said after a boy who was operated on and took rest for three weeks passed by me.

Beaming from ear to ear, I squealed and hugged my best friend tight. “ALICEEE!” It’s been years since I’ve seen her. She accompanied Min on his way to Korea. And before any of the readers misunderstand, they are siblings. Quite awkward at first if I must say but it’s great to know lots of information about him.

“Hush, we’re in your workplace. You told me that, right? Alice, don’t scream or get hyper whenever you’d come back here.” She mimicked the way I talked in an insulting manner, not that I’m offended by it. We just like to mimic one’s tone as a sign of sarcasm. “Well, look who’s talking?” She furrowed both of her eyebrows as I laughed and took my hands off her.

“So how was Korea, Lisa? Did you find someone? Maybe that guy who you friend-zoned at?” I started chuckling after seeing her blank face. It was honestly funnier to see her reaction. Her stop-it-kind-of-face made my laugh gradually get lower but never failed to make a remark soon after. I thought of someone and so I tried to casually ask her about it. “How are you and Min? Was Korea that good? Just wanted to ask because I’m scared to get into their hospital” I shrugged it off but saw her eyebrow raise. Of course, she always knows what’s up.

“So is this why you’re called Mrs.? Mrs. Lee?” Now it was her turn to laugh. I playfully pouted and narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?” I acted all offended, placing my hand to my chest as if I took it to heart “It’s miss for you, Mrs. friend-zoned” Rolling my eyes and entered my room, her never-ending saga of teasing me continued.

An hour came by after packing all my things left in the hospital room and we talked about our lives. She still never told me a single thing about Min because of her chattiness. We got in the car and went to the airport. My flight has been called and so I had to leave.

“Wish we could’ve spent more time. I’ll come back soon anyways after visiting the hospital” she hugged me so tight causing me to be so confused.

“Min.. I tried to talk to him” I looked at her in the eye asking for some problems that happened years before. Though no words that came out of her were expected.

“But he didn’t want to hear anything about you”

Hours came by like a flash but my thoughts filling out my mind went by for years. I arrived at my destination but is this truly where I am destined to be in? I knew there was something much more than her words because her voice was shaky.

I didn’t leave a single minute to go by my hospital though. Work always comes by my mind. But usually, I would hang by the café in your building hoping to see you pass by. There were no people because I was busy studying late at night after the closing time. It was scary, but I was too busy to notice.

“I miss you! I’ll come by soon, okay? You better wait for me, sweetie. Love you, take care!” I smiled after hearing my patient’s voice. She was a lovely kid and it seems like I wasn’t the only one missing her as well. It had just been a day yet Yeina has been panicking through the whole call.

“Got a boyfriend now?” The one who talked suddenly came up near my seat and giggled. It was cute but I was busy closing all my documents. Besides, it was not that important. I responded unknowingly but was cut after hearing the voice.

“No, it was my patient. She’s a cute kid” I looked up and God-, was that the biggest thing I regretted but enjoyed at the same time. The guy I waited for years was the same guy who didn’t want to hear anything that involves me. The guy who didn’t want to talk, approached me first with the same smile as if nothing happened. I don’t know what to feel nor what to say. It took whole 5 minutes of me trying to smile awkwardly.

“So, no hugs, internationally known surgeon who cured people around the world for the guy who is loved by his lovely fans?” You looked at me shocked but smiled as soon as I got back to my senses. Everything still remained vivid in your head when I thought it wouldn’t be.

I went up to you and cried in your embrace. The same warmth, it never changed even after all those years. “I thought you had forgotten” I tried to explain though it came out as short phrases because of my sobs. You held my head to nuzzle near your neck and caressed my hair, patting in between.

“Thank you for waiting even in tough times. You did good, doctor”

[WEEKS LATER]

Yes, it just had been weeks. Everything was good but turned downhill soon after. I don’t know what’s hitting on you because you just turned.. off.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?” I yelled after you constantly trying to ignore me. “Wow, so now you’re deaf?” I exclaimed as I held on to your arm and making you turn around and face me.

“You wouldn’t understand anyway!” Loud shoutings were just everything that was heard in the room. I am patient but was frustrated that moment you took on that dumb decision.

“So now I was wrong here? YOU QUITTED THAT FKING JOB OF YOURS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE IT? YOU FELT BORED? The world doesn’t adjust for you! It’s not like you are the reason why the Earth revolves! It’s not easy to find a new goal and get it as soon as possible!” I expressed all my thoughts because things weren’t matching up. Who the hell leaves something just because he or she was bored? I felt like there was something more to it but why do you seem so nonchalant about it? It was that easy of a decision to make?

“SHIT!” You grabbed the vase and smashed it on the floor. That shocked me. I was clearly shaking yet I tried to stand by my point.

“Why did you come back here anyway?” I felt the world stopped. No, because he was actually true. Why did I come back here? Expecting that the love of my life would be the same even when it had been years he didn’t bother to call? Even after all these years, the guy I waited for would remain the same? After all the dating issues, he would stay irrelevant and think of me every day? I was just a surgeon not even known worldwide. Who am I to him?

“You’re right. I’m nothing to you anyway.” I packed up quickly placing all of my clothes unorganized. It was easy to get into someone but how is leaving not the same?

You tried calling me out but I left due to my blind optimism over the week. I came back to Korea but you soon got me with all those sorry. That was just a single moment that left a scar on me deeply. But now that I think of it, I was used to it because you were an on and off switch

The first day of a week you asked me out on a date then suddenly you claimed to have forgotten about it. You’d tell me how much you loved me, yet add me to the list of traitors who wouldn’t understand a single thing. It was basically just a love or leave me game of yours. It went on for months that I was tired of it. Sick of everything else but you suddenly turned nice again. I waited for the moment you would hate me as usual but it never came by. Was it because you finally realized how much you had hurt me or were you trying to be nice because you were planning a sudden break-up. Maybe a Dear Jane letter? I was scared because I feel like it was more of the latter.

But after all the overthinking, another unexpected thing came by. You spoke the words:

“I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through after everything I’ve done. It hurts so bad and I don’t want to see you taking all that pain anymore. I never had forgotten about you not even a single bit of my life. I made decisions that could lessen your pride and was also close-minded with all your opinions. But my love for you stays true which is why I wanted to stop seeing you cry. The only tears I’ll ever allow you to shed is the one I needed all my life. The words I wanted to wait for you on. This might be the most clichè thing you’ll ever see, but will you marry me?”

I could never get over that preparation of yours. Because who’d knew you were actually into those surprises? I looked at the ring and smiled at it. How precious this is to me. But time surely passes by fast.

Looking at myself in a white gown, we passed by on lots of obstacles but it felt like yesterday even though it took even years to convince my mother and bless the marriage. She allowed but was forced to.

I still remembered how my mom used to hit me several times every day just to understand if there was something wrong with my head, but apologized soon after because she believed my father was watching from heaven. Mom had many beliefs and one of them was to ask my father whether to accept me. She used to tell me with not a missing day left aside, “run as fast as you can”. Up until now, I find it too hilarious.

“Aren’t you rushing too much? You’re still nineteen” the one who placed my natural makeup on, whispered in my ear.

That was what I was scared of. I was anxious about getting hurt at 19 what more if I was getting married then it went downhill when I was 19? But you were a risk I was willing to take every day, so why not? I know you’ll stay true to your words, I just know so.

“No” I responded short and smiled at myself for acting so brave with my thoughts. I went out of the hall and looked up to my mother who was dressed up so nicely. Sure, the girl who took time dressing me up, definitely did not say she wouldn’t attend if I marry Minho. I sarcastically remarked at her logic.

“So where’s that guy? It’s been 15 minutes since the guests have arrived!” She placed her hand on her hip and tapped her feet on the floor impatiently.

“Ma, he will arrive” I assured my mother and hugged her after I saw a glimpse of tears on her face. Of course, she raised me, and to finally see me with a guy who will take care of me then, she would be brought into tears. She told me once, before the wedding starts, all her thoughts including how she was sad about me leaving but happy about me finding and receiving the love I am willing to fight for. She doesn’t show it as much but she knows how much of a good guy Min is.

“You’ll be Mrs. Lee minutes later!” I found Lisa near the entrance and hugged her. “I told you we would have the same last name years ago!” she continued

Minutes came by and indeed you look handsome in a tux. Everything was worth the wait. You were worth waiting for. We’ve said our vows that express our love would remain until forever runs out, and it was truly you and I together against the world.

[PRESENT]

At least that is what was supposed to happen.

Your dumb-ass mind left me hanging and crying on the white dress. Everything was prepared and you suddenly decided not to show up? You were claiming you had forgotten? What kind of excuse is that? You were no doubt an expert on saying sorry. Just because, you were an exception when it comes to me not being forgiving. Just because, you’d know how to get me back. With a single smile, sorry, that’s it! My mind would start to revolve once around you, playing hide and seek or chase. I was always the one chasing and I’m tired of having to run a hundred miles just to get that love I wanted, which you never wanted to give anyway. It’s all you and your sick need of giving love and taking it away.

Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in a white dress who was supposedly having fun on her grand day, went away and started crying? I should’ve followed what my mom said. You should’ve known and I should’ve seen. I was played, you were the one who controlled the game.

“Where will you take me, Alice?” Truly, it’s hard to have feelings for a guy who is the brother of your best friend. If things go wrong, then clearly your friendship is over.

“To him” you responded shortly, tightening your grip on my wrist.

“Stop. I don’t want to go.” I forced her hand off me and whined in a frustrated manner because clearly, you screwed up Alice.

“Could you please stop?! I’m sick of this! He doesn’t have to hide it forever!” You looked away and continued dragging me as soon as I stopped. Hiding what now?

I don’t know what to say when I meet you. Scratch that, I didn’t even want to meet you anymore. Because what if this habit of mine comes up and actually accepts you? I’m tired of it but there’s just something that makes me want to hold onto the love or something that isn’t in you anymore.

You took me in a place so questionable as you stopped and cried. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and yet you say it was the right place. That can’t be, right? How did this happen? Shaky hands, dry throat, words don’t come out my lips. “I’m sorry” I didn’t know why that was the only thing that escaped from my tongue. I did not accept it yet because I belived that wasn’t reality.

Lisa took me to a hospital in which I saw you laying down, unconscious.

I could do nothing but curl down. I was hurt but I never did ask for this. “Alicia, since when?”

“The doctor told me he had cancer way before you went back to Korea. This is why he didn’t want me to talk about you because he gets hurt and couldn’t even imagine what you would do in lengths just to cure him. He used to joke about how you loved him the same way he did. Side effects? Memory loss, sudden mood swings. You know, he was the same guy you knew in the past. Except, he had gotten braver of leaving you behind just so you wouldn’t get into more pain as to seeing his condition. He was very open but he thought of decisions way better when it comes to you than of himself. He loved you every single day of his life and I do know how he misses your touch, crying himself to sleep. He faced a much harder life, missy. As to the wedding, he said he had forgotten about it but it was more due to the reason of having a husband that wasn’t able to take care of until the end of the world, when he promised you to. It was because of a guy not being able to see you getting known worldwide nor exposing you in all medias, when he wanted you to. It was because of a man who simply wanted you to be happy, because he needed that too.”

This is the point where my world started to crash. It wasn’t you who should’ve known. It was me. I should’ve been there at times you need someone to rely on. I based on my selfishness and need for love, not knowing that what I need was the thing that kept me from hurting. I’m sorry for misunderstanding. I’m sorry for making things harder for you. I’m sorry for not opening up all my thoughts about you. I’m sorry because I left you fighting against the world, and I stood by just watching. I felt as if I was the person who was miserable and yet it was you who was trying to act tough.

Lisa continued to tell all those hidden words of yours “I even remembered the time he continued blaming himself for hurting you but concluded that it was everything that he could do. His situation isn’t something that can be fixed and he knows about that even if he wasn’t told about the months he have left. He told me that once you come back and see how bad of a person he is for leaving you all alone and asking you to wait, I am allowed to tell you everything once you’ve moved on.” The girl I’m talking with continued crying filling out the silence I make.

It was a shock and seeing you were the only thing that made me cry deeply. I couldn’t breathe as my chest weighed heavily. I grasped my shirt as I was desperately needing to calm down. But none of this sight made me calm down. I understood the situation I did, but it was too far, in reality, to keep it in check. You were unconscious and Lisa wanted to let me see you before your last breath. Standing up, I cried up to you.

“Idiot” I sniffed, Trying to act strong and let it all out but that’s everything I could only say. “You said our story was cliché. What happened to the true love’s kiss that wakes one up?” I kneeled down and held your hand with the ring that was encircling your fingers. I felt the cold air as tears continued flowing. I kissed your hand and gulped, crying helplessly. Is there really nothing I could do?

“The last time he saw you were way back you were able to smile again. He said it was a blissful sight to see and he would be happy even if that were to be the last time.” Lisa explained and cried her heart out as well after seeing such a painful sight.

“You do know you can see me every day right? Wouldn’t that be nice?” I tried to persuade an unconscious body who can’t hear my words. “Hey, wake up” I clasped our hands together and entwined both. “I’m here, so wake up. I’ll be with you until the end okay?” The volume of my talks gradually decreases but I still believe you can open your eyes up. I know so. I know that at this very time you could still see me and hug me, letting me feel the same warmth I needed once again. “I’ll be with you and it’s still going to be you and I against the world. Cliché right? I know you’ll never miss a chance to tease me when I take that cheesy statement. So please do. Please wake up and talk to me once again. I am here for you.. always and forevermore”

I closed my eyes and heard the beeping of the machine. I looked at you and the monitor that showed a single, straight line. I sighed deeply and my heartbeat is everything I could hear. Repeating your name, demanding you to wake up but all I could do at the end of the day is being so helpless. Even my optimism couldn’t change my mindset yet I was hopelessly begging to see your loving eyes as Lisa and the other staff held me out of the ward for the doctors to take care and clean up everything.

I wished to see those eyes I never noticed years ago. I didn’t know whether it was my selfish act or optimism that kept me not noticing all those details but if only I could see those once again, I could’ve lessened your pain before you disappeared. I was wrong but even up to this end, I hope you know that I love you and forever will do, Min.

I see it all now that you’re gone, don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

[fullmetalscullyy]

the way it was - chapter 42

summary: what if riza never went to war? riza hawkeye has just married the man she loves. six months into their marriage, an unexpected surprise stops her from following roy to the military. a canon divergence au that explores what might have happened had riza been unable to join the military. there will be plenty of family fluff, angst, and royai.

rated: m | warnings: graphic depictions of violence (updated)

read on ao3

1915

it doesn't really matter 'bout the rain

'cause we'll get through it anyway

we'll get up and start again

Roy’s shoulders rose and fell sharply with his deep sigh. He nodded in reply to Marcoh’s question. Riza watched as his expression turned from one of anticipation to determination. 

“I’m ready, Doctor.”

“All right.”

Marcoh entered the room and Riza silently gave Roy’s hand a squeeze before moving off the bed. Doctor Marcoh had to set himself up around Roy and she didn’t want to get in his way, however, couldn’t help but notice Roy’s hand lingered within hers for a moment longer as they parted. He didn’t want her to leave. Neither did Riza. Still, she moved back to her chair and watched Marcoh prepare for the time being - not that he had to do much. When everything was ready, she’d return to his side.

“Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them,” Marcoh instructed as he removed something from the depth of his jacket pocket. Riza couldn’t see what it was, as it was enclosed tightly within a fist. “I’m going to work on one at a time and I need your eyes to be as still as you can make them. I recognise and understand you may be desperate to see if the procedure worked, but if I’m working with a moving target that’s when accidents can happen.”

Riza’s stomach tightened at that last part. She wiped her sweating hands on her hospital issue trousers before clasping them together in her lap.

“Okay, I will. I’ll keep them closed.” Roy’s fingers fidgeted together before lowering to the edge of the thin hospital mattress. He couldn’t grip on tight, but she recognised his desire to do so, to hold onto something, anything, to anchor himself. Riza wanted to offer that. 

Glancing up at Marcoh she noted he was still busy with his explanation and initial examination.

“You will feel a sharp stinging sensation as the severed links are repaired. Your eyes will be sensitive upon first opening as well, but after a few minutes your vision should become clearer and better. So, try not to be too disheartened if the world is blurry when they first open.”

Roy nodded. “Riza?”

His call was a request, but his tone held absolutely authority within it. Curious, she leaned around Doctor Marcoh to get a better look at him. Marcoh had moved in front of Roy to assess his eyes, lifting his eyelids one after the other.

“Yes?”

A hand extended out towards her. An invitation to join him on his bed. Riza didn’t think Marcoh would protest against it, but now, the reason for the authority in Roy’s tone was understood.

She stood and granted his silent request. Gently, her hand slid into his and Roy latched on.

“I want you by my side,” he murmured.

“I’m right here, Roy. I wasn’t going anywhere.” Her attempts to pacify him were rewarded with a soft smile. It cracked the firm look of concentration on Roy’s face, which Riza had come to recognise as unease.

“I know you weren’t, but still, it makes me feel better.” He patted the back of her hand before returning it to the mattress of his bed.

Marcoh was silent as he continued his assessment and didn’t acknowledge her movement across. So, Riza studied Roy as they waited. Anxiety was almost oozing out of him now that the moment was here, so she held on to offer whatever comfort she could. It was a feeling Riza shared with him. This was not a typical medical procedure, and Riza hoped that whatever it entailed would be worth it, and that ultimately, it would work.

“Ready?”

“I’m ready,” Roy confirmed. He let loose a long sigh then nodded with his lips pressed into a thin line.

Marcoh placed the stone atop Roy’s left eye. After a brief moment of concentration the stone started to glow, and red sparks of alchemic energy leaped out of it. Riza resisted the urge to recoil away from the energy. She knew it wouldn’t hurt her, but her experience with it in the past had her instinctively wanting to move away.

Roy gasped then hissed in pain. He instinctively flinched but apparently Marcoh anticipated such a move. His hand followed Roy as he reared back slightly before halting in place immediately. Roy’s fingers gripped onto her hand with more pressure than he’d been able to apply before. His breathing picked up and Riza started to fear he was in a lot of pain. She grasped his hand tightly within both of hers and remained steadfast beside him.

“Are you okay?” Marcoh eyed his face critically.

“Fine,” Roy forced out, answering Marcoh. “I’m all right.”

“The left eye is healed. I’m going to move over to the right.”

“I’m right here, Roy,” Riza murmured. She stroked the skin of his wrist to try and soothe his agitation. Now he knew what to expect, Riza hoped it would abate somewhat. It wouldn’t stop any pain, but it may help him relax a little.

Again, red sparks ignited from the stone and Roy hissed. His jaw was clenched, and his body stiffened, but he never flinched away. Riza’s heart ached, wishing she could do something more.

“Not much longer,” she encouraged.

“There.” Doctor Marcoh’s announcement came after what felt like an eternity. “I’m finished, Colonel. That should be them healed. Keep them closed for another ten minutes,” he added quickly as a warning. “Let the repairs settle and your eyes adjust. Then you can open and test them.”

“I’ll watch the clock,” Riza offered as she gave Roy’s hand an encouraging squeeze.

He exhaled slowly and nodded. “Thank you, Marcoh.”

“I’ll give you both some time. I need to do a quick check up on Mr. Havoc.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Riza replied, sincerely grateful for all of his help.

He nodded to them and left the room without a word. Now, they had to wait and see if the procedure had worked. It sounded almost too good to be true, so until Roy opened his eyes, Riza would have a hard time believing it.

“This is torture,” Roy chuckled.

“There’s not long to wait now,” Riza replied. She lifted a hand to brush his hair away from his eyes.

“This will be the longest ten minutes of my life. I’m sure of it.”

“I know,” she sympathised. “It’s long for me too. But it’s better to be safe than sorry. Giving your eyes time to heal is more important than rushing into it.”

“Always the voice of reason.” Roy tutted, but he still grinned.

He received a gentle nudge from her shoulder for his troubles. “Of course,” she replied evenly.

“I want to see you.”

“I know you do, Roy,” Riza replied softly, but she was quickly interrupted by Roy shaking his head slowly.

“That’s not what I meant. I want you to be the first thing I see after I open my eyes.”

Riza paused. Roy lifted the hand he was still holding towards his chest. He reached across for her other hand, which was offered without hesitation. Both were brought to rest above his heart, clutched within his grasp.

“Will you grant me my request?”

Riza snorted lightly at his passionate, but playful, way of asking. “I will grant you anything you wish, Roy. Of course, I can do that for you.”

“Good. Thank you… Because I don’t want the first thing I see again to be a standard hospital room. I want it to be the woman I love.” All playfulness had been dropped and his tone was sincere.

“Roy…” Her expression softened as she looked at him.

“I’ve missed you terribly and want it to be you. Plus, it seems only fitting,” he added as a smirk threatened to spread across his face, “that as my vision is returned, taking me out of this endless darkness, the first thing I see is the light of my life.”

Riza chalked the sudden surge of tears up to her worry and stress over this situation and how successful it would be. But he was incredibly sweet, and it made warmth spread across her chest and settle within her heart. Riza’s stomach flipped pleasantly as she gazed upon his soft features. His smile was radiant, filled with so much love and adoration that it almost took her breath away.

It was too much, but in the best way possible.

Riza lifted a hand to place it upon his shoulder gently. She tapped her finger against him three times and Roy inhaled in response. Riza’s lips caressed Roy’s lightly while her hand slid from his shoulder, up to his neck, then into his dark hair.

“You’re not allowed to say things like that,” she muttered as she leaned her forehead against his.

“Why not? Was it too sappy?” He sounded pleased with himself.

“It was pretty sappy,” she sniffed with a quiet laugh as she wiped away a stray tear from the corner of her eye.

He chuckled. “It’s only the truth, and I would never lie to you about something like that, you know that,” he grinned.

Riza pulled away. A wobbly smile graced her features as she ran a hand lovingly through his hair. She brushed his fringe off his face again and lifted herself up, pressing another kiss to his forehead.

“I love you,” she whispered against his skin.

“I love you too, Riza. Forever.”

Her head bowed to rest against his and in the silence, they remained there, still, basking in the presence of each other.

“Is it time?” His voice was quiet as it broke through the silence. Roy almost sounded scared. She felt the pressure against her hand tighten as he waited for an answer. It was a momentous occasion after all that had happened, and there was a part of Riza that was terrified as well.

What if it didn’t work? The thought was tiny as it floated around her mind, but it was still there. It held enough gravity to it that it made her pause.

It wouldn’t change anything between them. It would only alter their course and they’d be back to square one. Back to where they’d been on the Promised Day. They’d manage though, and would figure out Roy’s options, but Riza knew how much he had riding on this being a success. Not just professionally, but personally too. This was a chance to watch his children grow up. It was an opportunity for him to see them again. A chance to see her again.

“It’s time,” Riza whispered.

Roy took the deepest breath and let it out in a controlled movement.

“Take it slow,” she advised, suddenly worried that any quick action would be painful for him. “How do you feel right now?”

“I feel… Nothing. No pain, no discomfort… Nothing at all. Everything feels normal.”

“Okay. Whenever you’re ready.” Riza slid herself off the edge of the bed and crouched in front of him. She gripped onto Roy’s hands tightly and brought them to rest in the centre of his lap. “I’m right here,” Riza encouraged.

“Right here, waiting for me to see you again?” His quip was meant to lessen their unease, but it didn’t quite work.

“Yes,” she answered him with a soft tone. Pushing through her nerves she even managed to crack a smile. “That’s all I want for you. Now’s the moment of truth.”

There was one final deep breath then slowly, ever so slowly, Roy cracked his eyelids open.

Riza’s heart lifted into her throat and her smile dropped as she closely scrutinised his eyes. Immediately she noticed they weren’t the same muted grey as they’d been before. They were rich and dark, like they’d been previously, before the Promised Day. They were his eyes. The same ones he shared with their daughter. Riza tried not to let herself get too worked up, but tears had already started to appear as hope swelled within her chest.

Roy squinted as he moved his eyes to settle on her face. He was looking directly into hers but gave no indication he could see her.

“Roy?” She sounded so worried but couldn’t help herself. Riza wanted this to work so badly. It had to work. After all of this – all the discussions and all of their planning – it had to succeed. Roy had to be able to see his children again.

“It’s you,” he breathed. His tone was reverent, and the features of his face relaxed into an expression of awe and wonder.

Riza’s heart almost stopped.

His eyes widened, but Roy winced and squinted suddenly after the quick movement. It didn’t deter him, though. “I can see you.”

She surged up from her knees. Both of her hands came to rest upon his cheeks. She looked at him in amazement. Her gaze switched between each of his eyes and Roy followed her movements. He was slower, but he was looking at her directly.

He could see her.

Roy’s face lit up and he grinned. Riza thought it was the most wonderful smile she’d ever seen, so full of hope and joy. His fingers lifted to loop around her wrists, and he gripped onto her. They sat there, staring at one another in both disbelief and relief.

“Is… Is it blurry? Is it clear?”

“It’s a little bit blurry in places,” Roy answered, “but Marcoh said that would happen. Most importantly, I can see.” His voice trailed off to a whisper, suddenly overcome with the revelation. His face crumpled and at the same time Riza moved forward. Their lips met as they were both overwhelmed with the news.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Roy murmured against her lips. He kissed her again before she had a chance to reply. “I never want to let you out of my sight again.”

Riza let out a choked laugh. She lifted a hand to cup his cheek as she pulled away. Her thumb wiped away one of his tears. “I’m so happy for you,” she whispered.

"I missed you so much, Riza."

Roy’s arms wrapped around her shoulders. Hers snaked underneath his arms and gripped onto his torso, allowing Riza to bury her face into his chest, while Roy’s head lowered to press into the crook of her neck – on her good side. They remained there, both feeling at peace, until a knock at the door disturbed them.

“Well?” Doctor Marcoh looked at them both expectantly.

“It worked, Doctor. Thank you.”

Roy stood and strode over to him with a confidence Riza had longed to see again. When he’d walked while blind, Roy had been overly cautious. The majority of the time he had an aid, but in the rare times he didn’t, his movements were careful and controlled. Now, he stood straighter and moved steadily.

“Thank you so much,” he repeated as he shook Doctor Marcoh’s hand vigorously.

Marcoh grinned. “That’s good to hear, Colonel. I’m pleased it all went well. How are your eyes? Any pain?”

Roy shook his head.

“Any discomfort at all? And how’s the vision? Still impaired or back completely?”

“There’s no discomfort and it’s still a little blurry around the edges, but I can see clearly enough straight ahead.”

“I imagine that will be disorientating at first, so make sure you remain careful as you move. There’s no telling if it will come and go, or if it will return and progress slowly. If you lose it completely then we’ll need to consider further treatment. It may take more than one for it to return permanently.”

Riza’s stomach tightened as she listened. She’d been so caught up in the excitement of it all, that option hadn’t even been considered. Further treatment wouldn’t be an issue, Riza thought, but after regaining his vision, to have it disappear again so suddenly, would take its toll on Roy, she was sure. It would take its toll on anyone.

“Of course. I’ll keep in touch.”

“Once you’re discharged, and if you’re comfortable, I have no issue with making a house call for any check-ups.”

“That…” Roy turned to look at Riza, looking for her opinion on his offer.

“I see no issue with that, of course,” she agreed. It would certainly make things easier for them.

“That would be great. Thank you, Marcoh.”

He nodded and offered him a smile. “While I’m here, would you like your hands repaired at the same time?” He motioned towards Roy’s bandages.

Riza hadn’t even thought about that.

Roy shook his head. “No. That won’t be necessary.”

“All right,” Marcoh nodded. He handed over a card with his phone number on it. “I’ll be staying at the Central Hotel should you need me for anything.”

“Thank you.” Roy shook his hand once more before the doctor left. When he turned, his expression softened. “I could look at you forever,” he announced, walking over to where Riza had perched herself on the edge of Roy’s bed. “You know that, right?”

“I do now,” she smirked.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he murmured. His head bent low, so their faces were close, but never touching. “I could already do that. But now, after so long, that’s all I want to do.”

“The country won’t run itself while you stare at me,” Riza snickered.

“No,” he sighed dramatically, “unfortunately, it won’t. I wish it would though,” he added quickly before stealing a quick kiss.

“That’s not very responsible, Colonel,” Riza replied dryly.

Instead of replying, Roy simply stared at her. It caused her expression to soften, and Riza cocked her head to the side as she regarded him.

“What?”

He didn’t reply right away though. Roy shook his head and a fond smile spread across his face. A hand lifted to cup her cheek with such care that she melted into his touch.

“It’s nothing, it’s just…” He was looking at her with such wonder.

“What, Roy?” Her query was quiet and soft.

“That’s the smile I remember,” he grinned. The pure elation was clear as day on his face.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

In the days following Roy regaining his sight, the team visited him one by one to offer their congratulations. Breda clapped him on the back with a grin. Fuery’s face lit up when he heard the news and shook Roy’s hand enthusiastically. Falman called from Briggs, giving Roy his first opportunity to venture out of his room by himself and walk without aid. Riza was never far from his side though and kept an eye on him, but his gait was confident and purposeful as he walked towards the nurse’s station to speak to him.

Havoc ventured through as well from his own hospital room. His physical therapy was treating him well and he was building muscle again. Riza had yet to see him physically walk, due to him being kept to the confines of his room, but she was excited to witness it. She couldn’t wait.

Roy nodded to Havoc in the doorway, who grinned in response and offered a lazy salute, along with a hello.

“It’s good to see you again, Havoc,” Roy greeted with a smirk.

He was wheeled only to the threshold of the room. Shakily, Havoc pushed himself to his feet and out of the wheelchair. Gripping his walking stick, he walked forward with a proud smile that lit up his whole face. Riza’s heart soared as she watched him take steady steps forward.

“Congratulations on getting your eyesight back, Mustang.”

“Congratulations on walking again, Havoc.”

“You already said that to me,” he commented. Havoc reached forward and shook Roy’s hand.

“Yes, but now that I can see it, I can believe it.” Roy stood from his chair and offered it to Havoc, who nodded his thanks and moved towards it.

“Are you calling me a liar, Mustang?” Havoc’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he asked his teasing question, pretending to be appalled.

“Never.” Roy placed a pillow behind Havoc’s back for support and the Lieutenant sighed happily as he sat back in the chair. “But I promised myself a few months ago, when we were in here together, that I would see you walking again. And now I have,” he grinned.

“Ah, so I’m only here to feed your ego. Got it.”

Roy nudged his shoulder to tell him to knock it off and Havoc laughed in response.

“Do you want to stay for a while?”

“I’d love to…” Havoc looked over his shoulder at the nurse who’d escorted him through, seeking permission to do so.

“I’ll come back in half an hour,” she stated before closing the door behind her.

Edward and Alphonse paid them a visit as well. Roy’s face lit up completely when he saw Alphonse Elric in the flesh and Riza watched as pride surged through him. He stood from his chair and walked towards the young man to shake his hand. Riza was sure she saw a tear in his eye after finally setting eyes on him, but she couldn’t be sure. She wouldn’t blame him because she’d felt the same way when she first saw Alphonse on the Promised Day.

“It’s good to hear you’re healed, Colonel,” Alphonse grinned. He sat across from them in his wheelchair and Edward sat beside Al in a hospital chair.

“Same to you, Alphonse,” Roy grinned. “I… I honestly can’t believe it. I’m proud of you both. It’s amazing all that you’ve achieved.

“You used the stone, didn’t you?”

The mood of the room shifted after Edward asked his question. It wasn’t accusatory, however it was serious. What was supposed to have been a heart-warming reunion had suddenly taken a turn. Riza sat back and watched the exchange quietly. Edward didn’t sound impressed that Roy had done such a thing with the Philosopher’s Stone. His lips pursed and pressed into a thin line when Roy confirmed it, but he simply nodded in response.

“That’s not really our business, Ed,” Alphonse interjected, speaking in a low but warning tone.

“I know it’s not,” he replied defensively. “Make sure you do good on your promise though,” he warned Roy.

“I will, Fullmetal.” Roy’s voice was solemn as he made his promise to the former alchemist. “It will not be in vain. I can assure you.”

“Good.” There was a brief silence then his voice softened. “Good. I’ll hold you to that.” It wasn’t a threat, per se. His tone had turned friendly, but Riza knew Edward meant every word.

“I would expect nothing less from you, Fullmetal.”

“It’s not Fullmetal anymore,” Edward added. His voice was lighter and broke some of the tension in the room. “I’m leaving the military.” He sounded like he was boasting.

“Are you going home?” Roy guessed, but something told Riza he’d been thinking this would be their course of action for a while.

Edward nodded. “I have no reason to remain within it. We achieved what we sought out to do.” He glanced over to his brother and smiled. “I guess, now it’s your turn, Colonel.”

Roy nodded. “Are you sure you want to leave? I could use some trusted advisors in my journey to the top.”

“Oh no,” Edward hurriedly assured him. “I have absolutely no interest in that.”

Roy lifted his hands in surrender. “I had to try,” he smirked.

“We’re going to go home and surprise Winry and Granny,” Alphonse replied. “I can’t wait to see them again and show them what we’ve achieved.”

“Do they know you’ve got your bodies back yet?”

The two brothers shared a look after Roy asked his question.

“You haven’t told them yet, have you,” Riza accused lightly.

“We wanted it to be a surprise!” Alphonse exclaimed after a brief silence.

“Have you at least called to tell them you’re alive?”

“Yes,” Edward replied, sounding like a teenager being scolded by a parent. “What do you take us for, Colonel? Of course we did. They know we’re okay… They just don’t know the finer details yet,” he muttered.

Both Roy and Riza lifted an eyebrow at them.

“The surprise will be worth it,” Edward reassured, before sliding down sullenly in his chair.

Riza uncrossed her arms and moved them from her chest. She shook her head fondly and smiled at them both, not doubting for a second that the surprise would be a wonderful one for Winry and Mrs. Rockbell.

“Always with the dramatics,” Roy tutted, looking heavenward.

“Dramatics,” Edward echoed. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

As the two bickered back and forth Riza smiled warmly at Alphonse. “How are you feeling, Alphonse?”

“I’m okay, Mrs. Mustang,” he replied cheerily.

“Riza,” she corrected with a laugh, for what felt like the millionth time.

“Ah, yes,” he replied sheepishly. Alphonse rubbed at the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

Riza waved him off. “Don’t worry about it. I suppose I won’t ever get you to break that habit, will I?”

“Maybe in a few years,” he offered with a tentative smile.

“I’ll take that.”

The two said their goodbyes shortly afterwards. Roy sighed as he watched them leave. A look of pride settled on his face, followed by a contented smile.

“They really did it,” Riza remarked as she sat back down in the chair beside him. She’d stood to open the door for them both.

“They did.” He shook his head and scoffed in disbelief. “I can’t believe it. It’s… It’s wonderful to see.”

“How are your eyes?”

“Fine,” he replied simply. “No issues today.”

Riza felt herself relax. “I’m glad,” she smiled in relief.

“I… don’t want to jinx it, but –”

“Then don’t say it,” Riza interjected hurriedly.

Roy froze and stared at her. “Really?”

“We better not.” She dropped her gaze. “I’m not superstitious but…” Riza sighed heavily. “I don’t want to go through all of that again.”

He was silent for a moment as he regarded her.

The potential setbacks Marcoh had warned them about did come. When Roy awoke the day after the procedure his vision was almost completely impaired again. A terrified call of her name woke Riza from sleep and she was alert the moment she realised who it had come from. Roy was lying on his back, his eyes wide open and searching, but he could see nothing. The irises hadn’t changed colour like they had before, so Riza reassured him of that. It was a sign, at least. Riza didn't know what it was a sign of, but it was something to hold onto. She’d hurried out of the room to the payphone down the hall. Doctor Marcoh must have still been asleep when she called, but assured Riza he’d see them within the hour to assess Roy’s condition.

As they waited his vision did return somewhat however there were still blind spots. Riza reassured Marcoh was on his way in and would be with them soon, but she could see the toll it was taking on Roy already. His chest heaved with deep breaths and he didn’t talk much as he lay in bed. There was a crease in between his eyebrows constantly, which Riza eventually managed to smooth out with her thumb. Once the muscles of his face relaxed she didn’t stop. She continued the action until Marcoh arrived, trying to ease some of his turmoil.

He used the stone again and Roy’s vision cleared. It was clearer than it had been after the initial treatment, but there was still a deep worry within both their minds. What if this was to be his life from now on? The stone wouldn’t last that long. It wouldn’t be feasible either. And would it ease and get better over time? No one could answer their questions because no one knew. All they could do was wait it out and see what happened.

The same thing occurred the next morning, but it wasn’t as bad. On the third morning though, Roy’s vision was clear as soon as he woke and didn’t waver. Still, Doctor Marcoh came in for a check-up, and stated he’d keep coming in early each morning from now on. Roy was quiet throughout the whole day, as if waiting for his sight to disappear… but it didn’t.

It had happened with Havoc too, he revealed to them in a grim tone on that third morning. News had reached him of what Roy was going through.

It didn’t mean the procedure didn’t work, it just meant there was more work that needed to be done, Havoc explained as he tried to put their minds at rest. Feeling had returned to his legs almost immediately after his own procedure, however there had still been numb spots, he confessed. Havoc had initially never mentioned the numbness, as he thought it was simply part of the recovery process. There were times on that first day where he’d faltered completely and the feeling left his limbs. He’d panicked, but Marcoh used the stone and it returned.

However, Havoc did reason that it was because the legs were large, long limbs, and there was a lot to work with, so they needed more work to heal everything. The eye, while smaller than a leg, required more finesse and finer tuning.

From the way he spoke, Riza thought he’d clearly considered this quite a lot. She’d really appreciated his support and reassurances during that time. Roy did too. He’d been silent as Havoc discussed it with them, but still nodded and offered his thanks in a quiet voice.

Watching Roy go through that turmoil hadn’t been easy on Riza either. Her heart broke for him as she heard his quiet, broken groans when he woke up, realising the darkness he thought he’d escaped from was back, rendering him terrified. It was a lot to go through, to have it returned and then snatched away again. It dashed their hopes slightly but Riza never gave up. She dutifully rang Doctor Marcoh. She sat at Roy’s bedside and offered him comfort, letting him know he wasn’t alone in his own dark world. Someone was there on the other side, listening to him and there for support. Just like she always would be.

It was not a regular practice, so of course they had no way of knowing how Roy would fare as the weeks and months went on. Basically, all they could do was hope for the best. 

Thankfully, the issues they’d run into hadn’t lasted for too long. On the fourth morning there were no issues at all and if anything, Roy commented that his eyesight was better than it had been before the Promised Day. Marcoh said the developments were promising. He hadn’t needed to use the stone at all that day and Roy stated his vision remained bright and clear, never once wavering.

Riza took that as a good sign and held onto it tightly.

“Okay, I won’t. Sorry.”

She glanced up at her husband, returning to the present. With an outstretched hand, he gestured for her to come over to him. Riza did so and ended up being pulled into his lap. Roy bent his head and placed a light kiss against her bandaged neck before wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I don’t want to go through it again either,” he murmured against the skin of her shoulder. He’d shifted aside the neckline of her shirt and rested his mouth upon her bare skin. They were silent but every so often, randomly, he pressed a kiss there and Riza felt herself relax against him.

“It’s time to exercise your hands.”

“Five more minutes,” he mumbled against her skin.

“Roy –”

“I want to hold you for a bit. I can do it better now,” he added, giving her waist a squeeze. He was right. He was able to apply more pressure than before. “And I want to be close to you.”

Riza leaned into his hold further and rested her head against Roy’s. “All right,” she relented with a sigh. She was not annoyed with him though. Riza understood his reasons and appreciated the sentiment very much.

It had been a long time since they’d been able to sit comfortably and hold one another like this. A while since they’d been so close. A slow smile spread across Riza’s face, realising she was happy. They remained there, simply existing within each other’s space.

After ten minutes or so, Riza extracted one of Roy’s hands from around her waist. He pouted, which made her snort quietly, but she didn’t stop. The bandages were unwrapped carefully and Riza inspected the skin beneath. It looked healthy and was healing nicely. The doctors were happy with its condition and progress.

“Slowly,” Riza murmured as Roy’s fingers twitched now that his palms were free from their confines.

With an open palm facing downwards, Roy bent his wrist from side to side slowly. After that he practiced flipping his hand over a few times. There seemed to be no obvious issues. Riza scrutinised his face carefully every so often to look for pain but could discern nothing. There was nothing in his features except concentration, accompanied by a light sheen of sweat on his nose.

Still with an open palm, Roy bent his wrist up and down this time. He grunted quietly to himself and Riza looked up sharply.

“Sore?”

“A little,” he grimaced as he tried to bend it again.

She placed a hand atop his to make him stop. “Move onto the next one.”

His fingers curled inwards carefully towards his palm but couldn’t go too far into a fist. Riza nodded and noted in her mind his progress. Once he’d tried to make a fist five times she murmured for him to take a break. After a minute, he did another five repetitions. After that, they moved onto the next exercise. Roy had to try and touch each finger to his thumb. The pointer made it the furthest, but the others had a long way to go yet. However, progress was being made, and Riza was pleased with it.

Riza took his hand into hers and started to massage the palm and his wrist. Roy sighed beside her ear and Riza felt his body relax. They were quiet as she did so, then Riza turned his hand over and worked through the muscles on the back of his hand as well that surrounded the wound. It was a long slice. Too long.

The memory of Bradley’s sword piercing through it, and Riza seeing the other end of the blade poke through the other side of Roy’s palm, made her stomach tremble unpleasantly. Her lips pursed together, and her movements slowed without her noticing.

“Hey,” Roy called to her softly.

His hand escaped her grasp, but it wouldn’t have been difficult for him. She was already a million miles away, back in those tunnels, back to lying in a pool of her own blood, and seeing her husband being forced through the Gate against his will. The images flashed unbidden in her mind, making Riza flinch.

“Riza,” he encouraged as he brought his hand to her chin. He turned her head slowly, so she was looking directly at him. It took a lot of effort on his part, but Roy managed.

She glanced up to meet his gaze and in that moment Roy understood completely. It wasn’t the first time she’d massaged his hands, or the first time they’d done these exercises together, but right now… The reason for his injuries was hitting her again.

But one look at him… Roy was concerned, however sympathy and understanding were clear within his gaze as well. He’d been through the same thing she had, so understood completely.

Riza focussed on those dark eyes as they flicked between hers, waiting for a response. They were her anchor. They’d been so grey before, a far cry from the colour she’d always loved. Now, they were back.

Reminders of their progress since the Promised Day were right in front of her, so Riza took a deep breath and tried to calm herself, holding onto them tightly and refusing to let them go. They were healing. There was a long way to go yet, but there was clear progress. They were making their way through it together. 

“I love you.” Roy’s voice was low and he spoke slowly and evenly. However, his declaration was passionate and full of love. “And I’m right here.” His fingers guided hers to rest atop his heart. It beat steadily beneath her palm, a welcome reassurance that he was okay and they’d made it through. Roy’s expression softened and he gave her his winning smile. The one he reserved only for her. “I’m getting better and I’m not going anywhere. So are you.”

Riza wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder. “You came back,” she whispered as confirmation for herself. Her hand came to rest against the back of his head, her fingers becoming buried within his long, dark hair.

“I did.” She felt him nod. “You couldn’t get rid of me, even if you tried, Riza,” he snorted, “I’m here forever.”

His promise was as firm as his hold as Roy’s arms held her close. A kiss was pressed against her cheek, causing the corners of Riza’s lips to tug upwards into a small, pleased smile.

“I cannot put into words how terrified I was, being unable to see if you were all right throughout all of this and verify for myself that you’d been treated. I knew you had, but the mind can be cruel. Especially after what we experienced.”

Riza swallowed and nodded against him. She was acutely aware of the feeling he was describing.

However, when Roy next spoke, his voice was ever so soft and reassuring. “But… You came back as well.” He lifted his head to part them, but only far enough so they could see one another, causing their breaths to mingle together as they spoke. “You were right here waiting for me and were always by my side.”

“Of course,” she whispered.

“And I’m right by your side as well, for whatever you need,” he promised quietly. His eyes bored into hers, willing her to understand.

She smiled and nodded. Riza knew he would be, without hesitation.

When Roy tilted her head down so he could press a chaste kiss against her forehead, Riza’s eyelids fluttered closed, and she felt herself melt beneath his love and affection.

“We did it together,” he smirked at her. “We’re a pretty good team, if I do say so myself. That’s a sign we’re meant to be together, I think.”

“Well, I already knew that,” she mumbled. Her forehead came to rest gently against Roy’s.

“So did I.”

Riza released another sigh and willed the rest of her unease to leave her alongside her breath. Roy was right. They were both alive and not going anywhere. Soon, they’d be home. Soon, their family would be whole once more.

“We always make our way back to one another.” Roy pulled away and lifted both his hands to her forehead. He brushed her fringe aside and offered her a loving smile as his fingers trailed across her brow, to her temples, then down to her chin. His light touch made her shiver and caused gooseflesh to rise on her arms. Her scalp tingled pleasantly. “We always find each other when we need it most, don’t we?”

Riza buried her face into the crook of his neck. “We do,” she whispered against the column of his throat. There was a comfort to his words that she couldn’t describe but was grateful for.

“And we always will,” he added firmly. His arms wrapped around her waist. “After everything that’s happened, I wasn’t kidding about not letting you out of my sight again,” he chuckled. “You know I’ll do it too,” Roy teased.

She snorted lightly. “That’ll prove difficult with our work.”

“How about not straying far from your side then? Previous commitments – like work – permitting, of course.” Riza could hear the smirk in his voice.

“I like that,” she smiled against him. Riza tightened her arms around his neck, holding him closer and Roy returned the gesture. He pressed another light kiss atop the bandages on her neck, then one upon her temple. “I like that a lot,” she whispered.

Because they always would find a way back to one another. They already had, so many times before. Not much could keep her and Roy apart. That had already been proven. That’s just the way it was with them, and the way it always would be.

[mcfreakin-bxtch]

There’s No Way

The Mandalorian x Reader

Warnings: Blood, Angst, Mentions of violence, Fluff

Word Count: 2.1k

Requested by: @sirianfromsixties​

Prompts: #33 “Please don’t die on me.”

A/N: No matter how bad I’m feeling about myself you guys give me enough strength to keep going, so all the love in the world for all of you and stay healthy and safe! Requests are still closed as of now so I can catch up on them and work on other projects but they will be open again soon enough, and I am doing my best to get the rest of my requests out! Thank you all for the patience. 

Masterlist // Pedro Pascal Masterlist

(He was, indeed, very sad)

-

He doesn’t think he’d seen so much blood from such a seemingly small wound, but it had to be deep from the way the blood pools around your still body.

He also doesn’t think he’s ever panicked as much as he is right now, carefully scoping your semi unconscious form to find the source.

“M-mando,” your lips, terrifyingly pale, form the nickname – or the name he’s ever given you – in a weak manner.

“Shh, save your strength,” he says, working frantically on you; you feel the pressure around your left side, mixed with what is like hard pinches.

It’s hard keeping your eyes open. Your mind feels like it’s enclosed in a deep fog, threatening to pull you under, but you know you have to stay awake. Mando’s voice begs you to but fuck it’s so hard when the fog is so comforting, alluring in such a sweet and hypnotizing way.

And Mando? He’s a mess, and he knows it. He knows you’re so close to closing your eyes and disappearing from him, only remaining in his memories and damn it he refuses that let that happen; to have this be his last memory of you.

The panic increases when he barely sees any color left in you. He sees you struggling to stay awake, probably more for his sake than yours, and he doesn’t care who or what he attracts to get the help you need.

“Y/N,” he’s surprised by how calm he sounds despite the inner turmoil he’s battling in his head. “I have to carry you, find you a healer. Just keep your eyes open and on me, okay?”

You can barely nod, but the small tilt of your chin is all the confirmation he needs that you heard him, and he carefully moves his arms under your limp body, grunting as he hauls you up in his arms as gently as he can.

It still doesn’t stop the pained whine to escape from you though, and it makes his heart lurch at the sound of it.

“I know,” he coos to you, doing anything he can to keep you awake. “Keep breathing baby. Just keep breathing for me.”

It’s the first time he’s ever called you by a pet name as sweet as this. You wish it didn’t take you bleeding out in his arms for you to hear it from him.

But it’s hard to register anything when there’s black dots forming around your eyesight, when it feels like your head is submerged underwater and you’re beginning to drown; a horrible thought occurs to you that you may actually be drowning in your own blood.

You hear Mando call out, flagging anyone down that can save you. You keep your eyes on him, just like he said, and you want to ask him to take his helmet off so you can see the face of the man you’ve been travelling with for so long now; your friend, partner, and the man you hopelessly fell in love with.

You’re about to say his name again when he finally manages to find someone, a healer they say, and quickly urge him inside their home, already scrambling for supplies.

He looks down at you then, making sure you’re still conscious.

“Please don’t die on me, Y/N.” He says to you before settling you down on a hard, flat surface. You barely feel the cold (is it supposed to be this cold?) surface, or his touch now for that matter.

It’s all disorienting, and the sweet, sweet call of darkness was now enveloping you completely. You want to tell him you love him before you die. You want him to know that a stupid bounty shooting you when you clearly had been reckless wasn’t his fault either.

“M- ma…”

You lose consciousness before you can get the name out, feeling a faint heavy press against your forehead.

-

The first sense that comes to you is smell. It’s a lovely smell, an aroma of something sweet and cinnamon. The next smell is leather, powder, a hint of metallic. It’s comfortable, familiar, and brings a warmth to your chest.

It feels like years before your eyes finally crack open. The light is blinding, but for the most part the room you’re in is dimmed, no doubt for your sensitivity.

Your body feels like it’s been hit by a thousand bricks, sore and heavy. You must have made a noise as you attempt to look around, putting pressure in your wrists to do so but it’s too quick to try anything, and then there’s a visor staring right above you, careful not to disturb your injured body.

“H-hi,” you croak, throat scratching like sandpaper.

He doesn’t say anything, just reaches over next to him to hand you a cup of water, helping you up as you wince to reach it. The water is cool and feels like heaven sliding down your throat, and as your eyes start to adjust better to your surroundings you realize that you’re in unfamiliar territory. Mando still stands next to you, watching intently as you start to remember the events that led up to where you’re at now. You scrunch your eyebrows as you look down, lifting your shirt – a new, plain shirt that’s a little too big for you – up to find an ugly scar forming on your side, still pink and healing.

“H-how long was I out?” You stammer.

Mando finally sits down on a chair that sits next to your bed, sighing heavily and leaning his elbows against the plates on his knees. It takes a few moments for him to speak, but you wait patiently, sitting back against the stack of soft pillows behind you.

“Four days,” he answers.

You expect him to say more, but it’s almost as if he can’t.

So you continue to ask him, “How bad was it?”

He audibly flinches, and you start to regret bringing up your gun shot wound, but you need to know just how close to death you were. Just how close you were to losing him; not being able to crack a chuckle or two from him or feel the warmth of his body – despite the cold beskar steel – or to hear his modulated voice call out your name.

“You lost a lot of blood,” his voice interrupts your thoughts. “Y – “

You can practically hear the gulp he has to take to continue, and your heart thumps wildly when you hear the pain in his voice.

“Your heart stopped. I… I thought – “

He shakes his head, seemingly frustrated with himself, and you go to move. To do what, you’re not quite sure, but it’s along the lines of a hug and reassuring promises that you’re okay, you’re alive, he’s alive, in his ear.

But he stops you as soon as he sees what you’re doing, scooting the chair closer to the bed and gently pressing you back down with a hand on your shoulder.

“You still need to rest,” he explains. “The healer, this is their home. We have to leave soon before any hunters find us, and I’d rather not risk the life of the person who saved yours.”

You nod your head, agreeing with every word. You wouldn’t want the person who had already risked everything – unknowingly or not – to save you hurt or worse either.

“I think we can leave tonight,” you say. “Other than the sores and little bit of pain, I think I’m alright to move. But I should do something for them before we leave, to show my appreciation.”

He shakes his head again, ever so stubborn. “I still don’t want you moving too much, Y/N. It’s not safe.”

You decide against arguing with him. He doesn’t relax until you settle in more comfortably on the bed. It’s then you notice the plate of food sitting by your side, still hot and fresh it seems.

Mando notices your gaze and hands the plate over to you, which earns him a look from you. He only shrugs.

“Figures the one thing that would get you up and listening would be food.”

You giggle around the roll of bread you already have stuffed in your mouth. It makes his heart clench, because he could’ve lost that smile, the infectious laughs he grew to look forward to.

It’s comfortable silence as you gulf down the delicious food given to you. He has to tell you to slow down, which you see as reasonable but still give him a small glare. He lets you set the plate down and sit up a little to stretch because he knows that if he pampers you to the point of suffocating, that it will only lead to arguments and that’s the last thing you need right now.

He wants to say something, but he can see the gears turning in your head, your brows scrunched rather adorably.

“You called me baby.”

He freezes. He didn’t think you’d remember so much after waking up, but you continue to surprise him at every turn.

He starts to rack his brain for anything to dispute it, but then what’s the point? He can’t fight or deny his feelings for you any longer, and you died. It would kill him if he never got the chance to tell you he loved you out of fear and his own stupidity.

“I – I liked it,” you tell him when he doesn’t respond. “I-if that’s okay to say.”

It was more than okay. It was everything in his eyes, a step closer to what he wants.

You jump a little when you feel a hand thump against your clothed knee, immediately relaxing at his touch and comforting rubs.

“Okay…” He puts his head down before abruptly looking back up. “Y/N, seeing you like that…. I don’t ever, ever, want to see that again.”

For a second, you fear he is about to tell you that he was going to leave, that he’s changed his mind about letting you travel with him and that he doesn’t feel the same way about you, as silly as the last part sounds with the way he’s practically trembling in front of you. The panic starts to bubble deep in your stomach before his other hand goes to cup your cheek, rubbing your cheekbone with a lover’s caress.

“I can’t lose you. And when your heart – stopped… it’s indescribable. Believe me when I tell you that I love you, Y/N. I will always love you and I want you to take it easy from now, for my sake. Please.”

You replay those three words over and over in your head. It’s like your short circuiting, your heart leaping with joy. 

It’s like a huge weight has been lifted off your chest. When you look at him, you’re no longer afraid of rejection, or losing him forever as a friend.

When you look at him, despite not being able to see his eyes, you know for certain that he’s looking straight at you with the same level of love you’ve been holding for him for so long, and maybe his love is too blinding for you to see now without the protection of the helmet he’s worn for as long as he can remember.

And then he gently, slowly, brings his forehead to rest against yours, hovering over you – which you’re sure is a little uncomfortable for him – placing a hand behind your neck to hold you against him.

“Din,” he whispers softly. “My name is Din, and I want to use my name when we’re alone, because this... this is for us.”

It’s in this that you see your future flashing through your eyes. More years of travelling with him, the first kiss, the first bare touch against yours. The first discovery of the man beneath all of that armor, tracing delicately over the curves of his lips, the wrinkles around his eyes and the bumps of his nose. The first time you both discover each other’s bodies, tracing over every inch of skin and connecting as one. Then lastly, a warm sun baring over the two of you, his palm resting against the new curves of your stomach, smiling so damn brightly that it could destroy the world with one glimpse.

You’re sure, with the way his breath evens out and the way his hands squeeze you with confirmation of your presence and the Mandalorian’s kiss he refuses to back away from because it’s what he’s been dreaming of for so long, that he sees it too.

Tags: @scarlett-berserker​, @justlovetoreadfics​, @lil-baby27​, @mando-vibes​, @beepbeepyabitch, @that-void-witch​, @im-the-music-whore​, @certifiedhunter​, @softpedropascal​​, @hejahockey​, @okaydacre​, @lemongrove​, @appreciating-chase-brody, @iwontforgettheapplepie, @mybabyboytony​, @olyamoriarty, @pcrushinnerd​, @elusive-ivory​, @dizzydazed​, @bluejeancntrygrl​, @dadzawas-eyebags​, @moonstruck-witchy​, @our-mrlangdon, @parody-the-emi​, @evalynanne​, @purplewaterbird​, @vikingqueen28​, @tedpicklez​, @pascalisthepunkest​, @coffeeandtodd​, @blunt-cake-yes​, @agoldin​, @ben-is-a-hoe​, @snokesthrussy, @lustriix​, @readsalot73​, @longitud-de-onda​, @weirdowithnobeardo​, @hayley-the-comet​, @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​, @kateb013​, @blue-tidal-wave​

[aprils-arcadia]

Trust

Pairing: Sungin x Reader Genre: Fluff Word Count: 3,7k Summary: You have been dating Sungjin for years now and he is still deadset on helping you overcome your fears. 

"You trust me, right?"

"Of course I trust you, but that does not mean I trust the madman of an architect that came up with this hell."

Sungjin took your hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm here Y/N and I am not letting go of your hand. I promise"

You looked at him pleadingly. "I don't like this. I don't like this at all," you said, your voice now small and slightly shaking. 

Ever since you had met Sungjin in college two years ago he had been constantly chipping away at all your insecurities and fears. He made you feel loved and appreciated and cleared your doubts that he would leave you like people used to do since you were little. And while he did all of that unconsciously he also tried to help you overcome some of your fears in a more direct manner. He tried his best to help you tackle your fear of roller coasters by taking you to a theme park last summer. Sadly facing a fear does not necessarily equal overcoming it. You might have enjoyed it after the first five gut-wrenching rides, but by now you still didn’t want to do it again. 

And now this. Heights. Heights were probably your arch nemesis, scaring you ever since your brain started to understand what a fall would actually mean. 

"Just focus on me and don't look down." Of course you had looked down by now. Normally when you tried to avoid Sungjin's eyes like - let’s say - now when he was so patiently putting up with your whiny, scared self, you instinctively looked to the ground. But in this case the ground was further away than you could ever be comfortable with. Ideally you liked your feet to touch the ground and by ground you meant not only wooden slats that by all means you couldn't completely trust. Your desired version of steady footing was about 30 meters below you. This was nothing compared to jumping off the 3 meter tower at the pool. Nothing compared to climbing a tree a bit higher than you usually would. This was certain death. No bruises. Not a broken bone. Just plain and simple death. 

Sungjin snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts effortlessly by squeezing your hand. The warmth and pressure of his touch making you feel just a little safer.

He lifted your chin with his finger and looked you straight into the eyes. “Just look at me. Everything will be alright.” He kissed your forehead and you could smell his perfume that so perfectly fit the surroundings. You had always loved this perfume on him. It felt like you were standing in a thick forest full of trees, standing tall around you and enclosing you in the sweet scent of pine. It was able to combine the two things that made you feel the most safe in this world. The man you loved and the nature you so adored. Sungjin was keenly aware of your love for all things nature and especially forests and that was why right now you were surrounded by towering pine trees that were gently swaying in the evening breeze. He had taken you to a place you’d feel safe to help you get over the thing that frightened you the most. 

You had only been able to take two steps on the suspension bridge before you had stopped, not being able to take even a single step further. You lifted your head and tried to steady your breathing.   

“You can do it.” You took a second to let yourself get lost in the eyes of the man before you. His brown eyes were filled with kindness. How was he able to erase all your doubt and inspire such confidence without so much as a touch of his lips? 

You could still clearly remember the day you met. Well, not the day you met precily but the day you had first really spoken to each other. It was two years ago in an introductory course to film scoring. You had loved this course, the different composers you got to know, the power that film music had in giving a movie a certain feel. Every two weeks your course had met for movie night, to watch the movies that would be discussed in next week's session. You had dreaded this particular one ever since you saw it in the syllabus on your first day - Horror. It would be an understatement to say that you disliked those kinds of movies. In fact you were terrified of them, but apart from that you were also unbelievably stubborn and didn’t want to miss out on one of the probably most exciting sessions. So you decided to not be such a wimp and went. Thinking of yourself as pretty clever you chose a seat in the back of the small classroom so that no one would be able to see you twitch or jump in your seat. 

To your luck the chair next to you had stayed empty for a while and you sighed in relief once the movie started. Nobody picked the seat right beside you, nobody that would be able to notice all your little tells that showed that you were scared out of your wits. 

Seconds later the door had opened one last time and a young man had walked in. He made his way towards the back of the classroom, looking for one of the empty seats that were left. You hoped under your breath that he wouldn’t see the one right next to you - But he did and with that your wonderful plan had been ruined. He smiled at you and gave you a little nod before he turned towards the screen. 

Your heart sank in your chest and you decided to let your gaze wander around the room, avoiding to pay direct attention to the terror that was unfolding on screen. Your eyes wandered for a while before stopping on the person next to you. If you recalled correctly his name was Sungjin. Out of all people there was no need for that one guy you started to take an interest in lately to sit right next to you. He had held a presentation on opening credits last week and you had been absolutely mesmerized by his calm and low voice. You had probably never listened to another student as attentive as you’d done that day. And now he was sitting right next to you. Out of all the possible scenarios, the cafeteria, the next class no it had to be this one. The one where you felt vulnerable and uncomfortable. All you had wanted was to make a good impression on him next time, to have him get to know you and think: “She seems really sweet.” And what did you have to work with now? He sure as hell would not think that once you started to silently sob next to him because you were frightened or started to shriek at every possible jump scare even the ones that were highly predictable. 

Lucky for you the lights had been dimmed and the room was completely dark apart from the movie screen illuminating the faces. You couldn't help but notice his sharp jawline and the small wooden earrings. Right when you were getting lost trailing over his broad shoulders he turned his head to the side. You froze in place. 

“Everything okay? You seem a bit twitchy.” You could clearly hear the concern in his voice and you cursed yourself for being so easy to read. 

“No it’s okay. I’m fine. I just don’t handle these sort of movies well”. You turned around and hoped that your blush wasn’t visible. 

The movie had been the perfect example for the absence of film music and you were going mad not being able to tell when something bad would happen. Until it was too late. A simple jumpscare was all it took for you to completely lose your composure. You squealed loudly and before you could stop yourself you had grabbed onto Sungjin’s cardigan and pulled him towards you. You cowered behind him, your face buried in between his shoulder blades. His broad back gave you a sense of security and it took you a second to fully understand what you had done. The giggles of your classmates made you slowly and painfully aware of your situation. You heard Sungjin clear his throat and felt his back trying to turn underneath your death grip.

It was blatantly obvious that you had the worst reaction by far. You almost just wanted to run out but this wasn’t some anime, you couldn't just run out every time you did something embarrassing. So you picked up all the little pieces of courage that were still stored somewhere inside of you and started to loosen your grip. You didn’t want to face him right now. You could feel the heat in your ears giving you a hint at how red your whole face must have been. This could not have gone any worse. You would not be coming back from this. He must think you are crazy or just plain pathetic, because that’s how you felt at this moment - like an utter idiot. Straightening his cardigans where your hands had been, you leaned back into your seat and looked at him apologetically. 

“I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to.” You had expected him to scold you, to scoff and to never talk to you but instead you were faced with a kind albeit a little forced smile. It seemed like he knew how to handle this situation as little as you did. 

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it too much.” He smile grew more genuine. “But seriously you gave me a worse scare than the movie did” 

“I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe I just did that. Normally I wouldn’t just… you know… grab a guy like that. I’m really sorry for using your back like that. I really am”

“No worries. It might have come as a bit of a surprise but I should have known better, you looked like you were ready to jump for about 20 minutes now. I just didn’t know it would turn out like this.” He laughed. 

If anyone would ask you when you had started to really fall for him you’d probably name this moment. His laugh captivated you, the way his mouth became a broad grin, the way his eyes lit up and the low, husky chuckle left you feeling completely helpless and completely smitten. You couldn't fight the smile that was forming on your lips and you didn't intend to. 

You were forcibly ripped out of your little world by a loud “shh” from a few rows in front of you and both of you had to giggle as he jokingly put his finger above his lips, signaling you to try and be quiet. 

“You know. If you’re still not comfortable-” he said in a whisper as he moved a little closer to you. “-just in case you need something to hold onto I mean.” He slid his elbow over to your table. Did he seriously just offer you his arm to hold unto? 

“If you’re still not comfortable I mean. You can always hold unto me.” He gave you a shy smile. 

What? You couldn't just take him up on the offer, could you? It couldn’t be like that. You’d probably die of a heart attack or embarrassment if you moved any close to him and he would be able to clearly hear your heart beating, which was currently drowning out most of the sounds in the room with it’s deafening noise. Did he really have no problem at all with this? Was he just being nice and considerate or did he maybe just maybe felt that little tiny flame between you kindling as well. He looked at you a little awkwardly, waiting for you to do anything despite staring at him blankly.

Without warning a blood-curdling scream had filled the room and you immediately twitched in your seat, resetting your brain and reminding that you still hadn’t given him an answer.   

“Thank you,” you said, your whisper barely audible over the terrifying sound effects that were coming from the movie. You felt like you had already done too much damage but on the other hand he wouldn’t just offer this, would he? And above all it would be unbelievably impolite of you to leave him hanging like this. Yes, it was definitely only your sense of etiquette and not the fact that some part of you, which you didn’t even try to shut up anymore, longed to be closer to him. You slowly scooted your chair in his direction and wrapped your hands around his biceps. You could feel the muscles tense up as you touched him but his face did not change. He probably didn’t want you to pull back immediately. With your thumb you could feel the blood pumping through the veins in his arm, picking up the pace the closer you moved to his side. 

Was he nervous? 

You couldn’t stop that stupid part of your brain from imagining that he might be. No matter how far-fetched the idea of him liking you or even being remotely interested in you was to you. 

You had spent the rest of the movie in that position and his steady breathing and his presence beside you calmed your nerves considerably. 

When the credits started to roll you were still clinging onto his arm. The last few minutes of the movie had unlike you expected not ended in a mellow ending of some survivor being rescued or anything of that sort. Instead the maniac of a director or the psychopath of a writer decided to rip the slight chance of a happy ending from your desperate hands and killed everyone in a big gruesome showdown. The credits gave you no sense of relief - your hands still tightly clutching Sungjin’s arm and slightly shaking. Sungjin lightly patted your hand with his own signaling you to let go before the lights would be turned on. 

You didn’t want to leave his side and the seconds that his hand lingered on yours told you that maybe he didn’t want that as well. The light turned on and you were torn between wanting to stay in this position forever and not wanting to have that movie go on for even a second. You felt a warm pressure at your side as Sungjin started to move beside you. 

“How are you doing? Did you survive?”

“Better than expected but I wouldn’t say I made it through perfectly fine. Survived sums it up rather nicely. Thank you.” You slowly loosened your grip and moved your chair back, the absence of his warmth leaving you feeling a little down. He’d probably be gone within a minute and you were left with only seeing him once a week. 

“Are you really okay? You look quite gloomy”

“Yeah I’m fine. It’s okay. Really. I’ll see you next week.”

Sungjin stopped packing his back and hesitated for a second. 

“Actually I was thinking of walking you home, if you wouldn’t mind. I’d rest better knowing you arrived safely.”

This time you couldn't hide your blush, the lights were on and he had to have noticed the beet red color of your ears and cheeks. 

“Okay,” you said trying to act unfazed by packing your bag and strategically turning your face away from him. 

It was a warm late september night. The air was still hot from the summer but the wind already carried a freshness marking the arrival of autumn. The quad was mostly empty by now and you had to admit that you would have probably tried to sprint home hadn’t Sungjin been by your side. The first few meters had been awfully quiet. You hadn’t known what to say and Sungjin seemed to be at a loss as well. 

Was he regretting it already? 

You turned the corner of the dimly-lit faculty, frantically searching for something you could say. The silence had not been comforting at all instead you could practically feel the awkwardness oozing around the both of you. What were you supposed to talk to him about? Even though you enjoyed having had him this close to you during the movie, you still felt unbelievably embarrassed. This was not your MO. This was not something you usually did. Basically throwing yourself into the arms of the person next to you but on the other hand normally you would have also completely avoided seeing such a movie. So who were you to say that this wasn’t something you would have done. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, finally breaking the silence between you.

“For what?” 

“For you know… being that clingy and I probably left a couple of bruises. I’m really sorry”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s nothing really. It’s by far better than hearing you sniffle during most of the movie. And to be honest I think you were very brave.” 

“Okay, if you say so.” You lifted your head to look at him and saw his lips curl up into a smirk “Wait. Did I just detect a hint of mockery?” 

“From me? Noo not at all.” His poker face being non-existent by now. 

“You idiot.” You softly punched his upper arm and pouted jokingly. 

“Aw come on, don’t be like that. Haven’t I suffered enough tonight?”

You weren’t able to keep a straight face not in the slightest and the both of you broke out into laughter. The initial awkwardness finally left your side closing the distance between the both of you both figuratively and literally.

The rest of the way felt like it was over in seconds. You talked non-stop about everything you could think of. First simply about university, the courses he was taking and how nervous he was when he held his first presentation last week. But as you passed the first dorms, yours still not visible on the horizon you started to talk about stuff outside of uni about how both of you were raised in completely different cities, about how hard it was for you to leave your family and friends behind but also about how exciting it was to finally take a few steps forward. He was wonderfully easy to talk to, listening attentively and sharing his own experience and thought without much hesitation. The conversation just flowed effortlessly and without you really noticing you had already arrived at your dorm. 

While you searched the depth of your bag for your key Sungjin had just stood there saying nothing. It felt like he was debating something in his mind, as if he was right here with you but part of him was somewhere else completely. 

“I’d like to repeat this,” he spouted suddenly. “But maybe with a less scary movie this time.” 

“Are you asking me out?” 

“I guess, yeah.” He scratched the back of his head. “Only if you’d like, of course. We could grab something to eat and see a movie or something” 

“I’d be delighted.” You gave him a hug and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, which you never thought you’d ever be capable of. 

It had just felt right and you didn’t want to take it back. No matter how shocked you were by your unexpected courage, nothing compared to the look on Sungjin’s face. He’d simply frozen in place his mouth ajar and his ears slightly turning red. You couldn’t stop yourself from giggling and he shook his head probably to regain a little bit of consciousness. 

“This friday? I’ll pick you up. At 6?”

“That would be wonderful,” you said and you could see Sungjin’s eyes light up as he started to give you what you started to call his most honest and charming smile. A move he by now had used against you many times.

All this had led you to where you were now. 

On this construction designed by hell itself in a huge beautiful forest. You’d liked the idea to go on a little trip with Sungjin and had been looking forward to it for the last couple of weeks. Knowing what you were getting into, you had tried to mentally prepare yourself for it but now the drop below your feet was way too real. You held onto his hand tightly and tried your best to stay calm or rather to finally calm down. 

“It’s okay. Just take your time,” Sungjin said, not paying any mind to the number of people walking past you and eyeing you curiously. “Just concentrate on the treeline and don’t forget I’m right here and you’re perfectly safe” You looked up at the huge towering pine trees around you and tried to keep your gaze stready. The fresh evening air filled your nose and a soft breeze carried Sungjin’s scent. You felt comforted. You knew he wouldn’t leave you here alone. You knew that he would be there for you and that he even would be fine with you turning around now. But you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to finally show him that all his efforts weren’t in vain. That he gave you the strength to do things you never imagined. That without him you would still not have seen so many beautiful things and that you were eternally grateful for every single day you spent together. The sun was slowly setting behind the tree line and suddenly the forest was filled with a thousand little lights. 

“Ah, finally they turned them on,” Sungjin exclaimed, his eyes filled with excitement and wonder. You could not believe how breathtaking it looked within a couple of seconds. The sides of the bridge were illuminated by multiple strings of fairy lights and in the distance you could see them guiding your path further into the forest. 

“This is beautiful,” you whispered <,your voice finally not shaking anymore. You let go of his hand and drew him into a kiss, placing both your hands on his cheeks.

“Thank you so much for this.” The light of the fairy lights reflected in his eyes. You truly did love this man. “Let’s go.” One step after the other you finally started to walk across, the person you trusted the most in your life, probably even more than yourself, right by your side.  

[legolaslovely]

I Will Never Leave You

A/N: Welp! Here we are! I know there are a million of these stories out there but I had to write one of my own! Wrote this after my total breakdown last week when I couldn’t escape Fili’s death scene on my computer. I was innocently looking for fluffy Fili stuff to share and my computer froze on the video! AWFUL! Anyway, this is a little rough in the beginning but it ends in sweet Fi comfort. Hope you guys can relate and enjoy.

Pairing: Fili x Reader

Word Count: 1,283

Warnings: DANGER FOR ANGST HATERS, this has a pretty rough nightmare in it, blood and gore, sad sad sad, but ends in comfort and fluff from both Fili and Kili

Summary: (Y/N) has been plagued by nightmares since the Battle of the Five Armies. Though all are safe, on this night, she dreams her husband, Fili, is not.

Giving you the happiest Fi pic I can find to soothe the soul:

Everything was cold. Cold, frozen, white, snow. Your body trembled, shivered, and you looked around for something familiar. You found nothing. There was nothing. Nothing but cold, frozen, white snow.

Then, sudden warmth. Your fingers were hot and wet. You looked down to see the snow painted red. The color was dripping from your hands, staining your skin and clothes. What is-

“It hurts, amrâlimê.”

Your vision blurred as the world rushed around you, fighting, defending, assisting, screaming, dying. The only clarity was brought by his voice.

“Help me, amrâlimê.”

Under your hands was a gushing, painful, deadly wound. You held pressure, trying to stop the leaking, but blood pooled in the cold, frozen, white snow. A whimper fell from your lips. You weren’t able to help the one below you. Who was it?

“I-I need something, something to bind the wound,” you said. Your voice didn’t reach the one in anguish, it was taken by the floating wind. “You’ll be all right,” you tried to say.

“Please, amrâlimê.”

Then the injured came into focus. First, the blond hair that fanned out over the cold, frozen, white snow. You recognized the beads at the ends of the braids as your own. The etched runes were caked with blood. Next, the armor over his shoulders came into view. It was pierced down the middle. Then the face. The features were twisted in such agony, the once bright eyes fading, the ever present smile non-existent, the dimples painted red.

“Fili.”

“I’m dying, amrâlimê.”

“No.”

Your eyes flew to the wound, desperate to find some way to stop the bleeding, but it was nowhere to be found, though the puddle of red around you was only growing. You unfastened his armor, throwing it to the side and tore open his tunic and saw nothing. But Fili still groaned and writhed under your hands. “I-I can’t help you,” you said.

“It hurts, amrâlimê. Help me, amrâlimê. Please, amrâlimê. I’m dying, amrâlimê.”

“No. Stop- stop saying that. You’re going to be all right.”

You wiped the blood from his face, but more appeared. You looked around frantically for help but everything had disappeared. There was only cold, frozen, white snow, you and Fili.

Then black. An all-encompassing black started enclosing around him, taking first his feet, then his legs, torso and chest. “Fili. Fili, stop. Where-where are you going? Look at me. Fili? Fili!”

“Amrâlimê.”

The black closed around his face, taking him from you forever. “Fi. Fili! Fili!”

“Amrâlimê, wake up. Wake up, (Y/N). It’s all right. Look at me.”

You woke with a jolt. You were trembling and your stomach lurched as you opened your eyes that were blurred with tears. Fili was sitting above you, he’d pulled you into his arms as you slept and screamed his name for the mountain to hear. You sat up and stared at him, holding onto his arms with a bruising grip.

No braids. Warm eyes. Soft dimples. No blood.

“It’s all right, amrâlimê. It was just another-” His voice caught in his throat as you crumbled in his arms. Your hands covered your face in shame as you shook from the force of your sobs. He knew how you felt- that you knew better, that it was indeed just a dream. But the nightmares were too real after the quest. And they’d been plaguing you for months.

He separated his legs and placed you between them, pulling you against his chest. Finally, you opened up to him, wrapping your arms around him and hiding your hot, wet face in the crook of his neck.

“It was just a dream, amrâlimê. Everything’s fine.”

You gasped and your voice shook. Your grip tightened on him and he imagined what your demons had made you see. He wondered if your nightmares were similar to Kili’s. He hoped not. Kili always told him of his terrors in great detail, it was the only way he’d dispel them from his thoughts. You, however, never shared too much with him, as if talking about it would bring the danger back.

When you’d calmed just a bit he asked, “Was it the battle again?”

“It was so real. I…oh, it was so awful, Fili. I couldn’t- I couldn’t help you.”

You spiraled again, weeping desperately. He hushed you, running his fingers through your hair and down your back. He listened to you try and fail to match the rhythm of his breathing. This meant, you’d dreamed he’d died. Again. He pulled you closer. Of course he wished he’d never been attacked in the battle, he didn’t need the pain and the scar of reminder. But he especially wished that you and Kili didn’t have to witness it. He wanted so badly to protect you both from it. But he was failing.

“I’m all right, amrâlimê. It wasn’t real,” he said to you when you couldn’t shake the pain and fear you were feeling. Every time you cried like this, it was as if another crack in his heart broke through. It was torture, he thought selfishly. He leaned his cheek on your head. “I will never leave you.” His voice fell away as he felt his own tears skid down his cheeks.

You noticed his shaky inhale and left the safe place at his neck to look at him. You shook your head and wiped the tears from his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. You didn’t want to bring him into your pain.

He kissed your hand as it passed his lips. “I’m sorry too. We’ll get through this, amrâlimê. We’ll get through these nightmares, to a time where they’ll be only memories.”

You nodded and kissed him. “I love you, Fi.”

“And I, you. With all my heart,” he said, hugging you tight to him.

When you finally calmed and met him breath for calm, serene breath, you drew away and found the scar on his left side. There it was. You ran a finger over it. He was attacked, but you were able to help him. He was safe and healthy and yours.

He wiped the tears falling swiftly down your cheeks and something on the bed side table caught your eye. A small glass jar you’d never seen before. You reached over Fili and took it. “What is this?”

Fili sat up against the headboard of the bed and ran a hand down your back. “Kili brought it.”

“When?”

“You didn’t see, but he came in, arrow nocked when he heard you crying out. When he realized it was a dream that distressed you, he brought this. There’s a note here,” Fili said, picking up a small piece of paper from the table you hadn’t seen. He gave it to you to read.

My dear sister,

The smell of hyacinth helps keep the nightmares at bay.

Sweet dreams,

Love Ki

You huffed, always blown away by Kili’s sweet gestures. Unscrewing the jar allowed the sweet, clean scent of the flower petals to fill your senses. The glass vial was filled to the brim with purple and white circles, freshly picked from the royal gardens. “So, this is why he asked for hyacinths to be planted in the gardens,” you said.

Fili hummed, taking a whiff himself.

“I’ll thank him in the morning,” you said, placing the note and the jar in their spot on the table and gluing yourself to Fili once more.

He kissed your forehead. “Tired?” he asked.

“No. I think I’m awake now for at least a small bit.”

“In that case,” he said, reaching for the drawer of the table and grabbing the book he’d been reading to you after your previous terror. “Where did we leave off?”

Taglist! @emrfangirl @misslongcep @raindancer2004 @ladybugg1235​ @xxbyimm​ @burningcoffeetimetravel​ @fizzyxcustard​ @fire-flv​ @nerdbirdsworld​ @dashesofink​ @teagarages​ @dark-angel-be-thirsty-af​ @winchesterandpie​

[333vam333]

The Nowhere | got7

{ CHAPTER 3 } edited a lil

Title: The Nowhere

Word Count: 2k+

Genre: Drama, Romance, Fantasy-ish, Mystery, Thriller-ish

Warnings: mentions of suicide, murder, a lil graphic (??), a lil profanity (??), a lil smut too ;)

Pairings: Park Jinyoung x reader, Im Jaebum x reader

Summary: After suffering years from the same nightmares that slowly get worse as you grow older, you learn why those taunting dreams come to you like memories you can’t remember in an unfortunate way.

~

Trees. Everywhere. 

They towered over you, crowding you into a narrow walkway on the crunching dirt road. The sky above you was a clear, baby-blue scene, making your eyebrows lower and your nose scrunch up. Dark green portions of grass lay scattered against the feet of the Pine Trees, blossoming healthy, yellow Dandelions as if to say ‘Welcome’. Even the bright, pleasant Sun gazing down on you lit the way as you walked only a few feet away from the man with the less chiseled features - what was his name? Jr? Oh, it didn’t matter since your mind was in another world, baffled at your surroundings before your very eyes.

Nothing seemed right. Why wasn’t there snow coating the outstretched branches of the trees? Why wasn’t each step you took a deep crunch that echoed through this thin, suffocating pathway as you walked on white, newly pasted snow? It wasn’t right, you were supposed to be feeling each inch of your body be bit by small snowflakes and a cold wind that whipped itself at your eyes. It was supposed to be winter. Unless..

You shake your head, swallowing down that thought that happened once before. It was time to get your thoughts and head on straight. 

Peering over at your sides, lowering your pace but keeping your footsteps even with the man’s, you spot the bases of houses creeping behind the trees that enclosed you. They weren’t too far and you were confident that as soon as you began to run you could get to a doorstep and ask for directions to Seoul. But you hesitate. Where would you go from there? So far you hadn’t spotted a single soul other than those men from the hospital, or even an asphalt road. It seemed almost as if the total population of this area was two people. 

“Hey, Y/N!” your head instantly snaps to the man who stood before you. He motioned his hand towards him and your relief flies off your shoulders as soon as you see his friendly smile. He didn’t see you. You run to stand next to him.

“We’re here!” He extends his arms towards a small gray house. “This is our home, roomie! C’mon,” he grips your forearm firmly, but gently tugs as if to ask for your permission to be pulled into the dark house. You take a step and follow him up the railless, wooden stairs onto their patio that is the same pale brown paint. 

You gaze around as the man whose name you forgot jiggles his numerous keys into the keyhole, clicking his tongue each time the key doesn’t fit. Your nose wrinkles and your upper lip twitches up as you step away from the chipping, gray paint with its chunks of white spotted carelessly on the house. It seemed like people began to paint and got too tired to finish every last bit. You even take notice of the part of the wall above your head, where you can’t even reach, and see no patches of gray anywhere. 

The man cheers silently as the door finally pushes open and you follow behind him. You hesitate for a second, contemplating whether going inside a stranger’s house is a good idea. The man stops walking and turns as he notices there isn’t another pair of footsteps echoing behind him. 

“What’s the matter?”

You don’t answer. You step back and look at the neighboring house, hoping a couple or an elder will walk out. At least then you know you’d be a little safer.

The man smirks and lowers his shoulders, “You have nothing to worry about, Y/N. I promise nothing will happen to you, just let me show you your room and your can decide the rest for yourself.”

After a couple minutes of your awkward silence, the occasional glance at the floor and your shoe kicking at the floor, the man walks up to you and holds his hand out.

“I promise you that I, and my good friend Jaebum, will not do anything without your consent.” his low, tender voice oozes into your ears, a sense of comfort consuming you. Your eyes shift up from his hand to his dark eyes. “I can imagine how strange it must be to live with men you’ve never met before..but trust me, Y/N..nothing will happen, I cross my heart.” His pinkie finger crosses his bicep.

You lower your head in thought. The warmth of his voice and piercing, but trusting scream, from his eyes made you face up.

“Just show me my room.”

~

Jaebum peers over the gingerbread and caramel colored wall, into the dim hallway with it’s faded maroon carpet. Each of the 5 rooms filling up the hallway each had their insides exposed, all but 1 at the very end. He tilts his head, furrowing his brow, and pouting as he turns to Jinyoung who hums to a silent song as a sizzle overpowers his noise. 

“So..how long has it been since she came here?” Jaebum glances at his friend who only shrugs. 

“A few hours? Minutes? Who knows.”

The curious man rolls his eyes and walks to the front door, opening it and coming to a halt before he walks out completely. 

“Just..Make her come out of that room. I don’t want her to be a hermit.”

"Why?” Jinyoung finally looks at his roommate. His hands were covered in a clear plastic glove, a pink sauce smeared on his finger tips. “It would make things a lot better and easier for us, Hyung, wouldn’t it?” 

A smirk finds its way to full lips.

~

Peeking your head over the light pink polka-dotted blanket, you notice how still the house is. Not a single soft thump of footsteps on the creaking wood floor, or murmuring voices in the distance can be heard. You smile foolishly; this has been the best noise you’ve heard all day.

Getting the idea everything is safe for you to wander around, you jump off the mattress and cautiously open the door. You peer over the corner and your eyes meet with the dark hallway, ending at the dining room table with its two white, wooden chairs. You began to walk, wincing every time you apply small amounts of pressure on your left leg but you take big steps. Everything that went past you appeared as a shadow. Taking this chance and convincing yourself that you won’t be caught you dash to your left, eyeing the first door you saw that led outside.

Placing your hand on the cool, metal doorknob of the glass door, you slowly push it open, holding your breath and your eyes shut in hopes that nothing makes a noise in case anyone was in the house. 

Your breath of relief flies out of your mouth and you scurry off the light brown porch, your slippers coming into contact with grass that grazes against your ankles. The fresh, chill air pushes against your body and your hair back. Before you get the chance to pull your phone that pokes around in your pocket, you spot a tree just a few feet in front of you. 

You step down the small hill leisurely and up to the tree that caught your attention. It looked different from the rest of Pine Trees, you didn’t really know if you could consider it a Pine Tree. The branches were thicker, a lighter brown, and stripped of most of its leaves. The trunk slanted..the branches reaching up to the blue sky. You know you’ve seen something like this before but your slow mind doesn’t pin-point where.

Walking up to the plant, your hand traces its slanted outline as you circle around it. A pair of shoes tied by its laces hang from the highest branch that extended upwards to the sky once you peered up. You don’t think much of it. In front of you stretched a large body of water, the Pine Trees guarding it from ever escaping. You lean against the odd tree’s trunk and stare out at the water, watching the small patches of moss bopping through the calm lake. 

This place felt familiar to you. Your dreams cross your mind and your hopes of this place being in your past dissolve; you knew what would happen at this moment once you saw that man with his torn face. So that’s where I remember it then, huh?

You finally take out your phone and began to wander around, getting closer to the house as you went, holding it above your head. 

“C’mon!” you whisper harshly through gritted teeth, shaking the small thing as if it would help get connection. “Ah, please just work for one phone call!”

Eyeing the signal bar was useless as it never changed from ‘Not Connected’ ever since you arrived at the house, or the hospital exactly. You sigh, dropping your arms and gazing around. One more time, Y/N..try once more

You raise your phone to the sky, slowly moving around before a hand comes into view and it flies from your hand instantly. You don’t get the chance to react until you turn and see Jinyoung, the corners of his lips pulled upwards. 

“Give that back!” you reach for your phone but he raises his arm, his smile growing wider the more you jump up at get it. He steps back.

“Nah, this is useless. You have no reason to have a phone here, since there obviously isn’t any Wifi. And plus, your leg isn’t healed.”

You don’t give in despite his information. You continue to jump and chase him, his giggles making your blood begin to simmer. You’ve had enough the moment he puts his hand on your forehead, pushing you away.Slapping his hand off gives him the hint and his childish smile vanishes as he awkwardly glances away from you. 

“Sorry..” he says in a low voice.

You huff out a steamy breath and cross your arms. 

Suddenly, in the corner of your eye, you see Jinyoung hand something out to you. A crown of short leaves, brown creating the circle, and Daffodils swarming randomly around the creation is held in front of you.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Jinyoung’s soft voice creeps up as you examine it. Your eyes fling to his. “I made it myself. I’m a very artsy person!”

Without your consent he places the circle on your head and steps back, his eyes and mouth growing wide with amazement. He nods and as your eyes trail down his body you spot your phone held loosely in his right hand. This was your chance. 

You plot the scene perfectly in your mind as Jinyoung rambles on about something you aren’t listening to. Jump forward, grab the phone, and run away. Perfect! 

Narrowing your eyes, you slowly get in a stance, your eyes glued at the small object in the man’s hands. You lunge forward at him, only to have everything fly past you and the ground get bigger as tight arms wrap around your waist. A low groan and hot air brush past your left ear once everything is still.

You quickly pick yourself up slightly with your arms, your hands laying on both sides of Jinyoung’s dark haired head. “I’m so sorry!”

The tips of your ears grow hot instantly as you realize your face is closer to Jinyoung’s than you expected. There wasn’t a single blemish...no pores..yet his face looked squishy, like a child. Your eyes meet his and the embarrassment that clung onto you slowly oozes away, only to be replaced with a nauseating rumble in your gut. Your gulp sounded louder than it should have been, especially with the soft chirping of birds and the rustling of the dark green leaves.

You face away from Jinyoung and attempt to raise yourself off of him. His arms tighten their grip and for a moment it felt like your back was about to snap in half with his inhumane strength.

You look back at him quickly, freezing as you notice his face has gotten closer than it first was. His lips were only a few inches away from yours.

“W-What?..” your voice shook, the redness flushing back on your ears.

His hand reaches up to your hair and with a slight tug he shows you the small twigs that were stuck in your hair. You pat your head quickly to find the crown, but it fell once you both rolled down the small hill. The corners of his eyes wrinkle up and he exposes a toothy grin followed by a soft, deep laughter.

~

Uhhh, this is something hehe I hope it wasn’t boring and wasn’t tooooo bad. Anyway, thanks for reading! See ya next timmeeeee btw I hope not boring you :/

[khicken121]

HanMei Week: Day 3: Say Something

Nobody: Me: HanMei in a canonical divergence AU. Will it make sense? Probably not, but I’ll try. Tags/Warnings: First meeting, Canonical divergence, Unresponsiveness, Brief mentions of needles/IVs (Intravenous). Note: Something I’d like to clear up: I incorporated some Mandarin and Japanese characters in here. I had some help with a few of the lines from a friend (bless them), but I had to use an online translator for the rest (which I don’t like doing because I know a lot of them aren’t reliable). I apologize if the established formalities/dynamics don’t align with the Japanese and/or Mandarin characters used, or if the translation is just way off in general. In case I did, I put what I meant for them to say in English and in brackets. [Like this]

-----

Mei pulled herself through the snow with all her strength. The wind grew increasingly overwhelming against her body. When it wasn’t pushing her backwards, it was cutting through every layer of clothing that protected her skin against the bite of the fierce wind. She knew where it was coming from, and it was only a warning of what was to come with the storm looming overhead. The distance between herself and it was growing shorter, and the only place she could go was into it. She could see the small shack-like building through her fogged glasses. She had just a little further to go, then she would be safe from the wind.

The ferocity of the wind drowned out the faint beeping coming from Snowball, but the signal wasn’t hindered. Regardless, it needed to be amplified if she wanted to increase her chances of getting off the ice-covered land.

Her mind didn’t register the time that passed. Only the wind that became harder to resist and the strength she needed to fight it, but wasn’t sure she had. Even Snowball was finding hard to not fall victim to the powerful force of the blizzard that was moments away from engulfing them both. Once inside the abandoned safe point, all that greeted them was black screens. Mei didn’t even have to say anything before Snowball lent some of his battery life to bring some of the devices to life. The soft beeps coming from her soft companion grew louder as her distress signal amplified.

Her call for help was out there, and the adrenaline left her body. Her knees buckled and the cool metal of the floor cut through her clothing. She tumbled onto her side and her breathing grew slower and deeper. She could barely see beyond the fogged glasses that clung to her nose, but she could feel Snowball’s virtual eyes on her. The cold seeped into her body and what previously hurt was now going numb. The throbbing of her hands and feet became an afterthought as the tug of her eyelids sent her vision into nothingness. A small smile stretched her lips as the beeping grew faster, indicating that her signal was picked up, indicating her signal was heard.

-----

The storm subsided as two tall men entered the room where she laid on the frosted floor. There was no need to check for a pulse, as her shallow breaths came out in short white puffs, nearly invisible to the naked eye, but there nonetheless. An aggressive tap to her shoulder provoked no reaction from her. Neither did an attempt to sit her up, as evidenced enough with her head drooping due to gravity while her body was held upright. She was heavier than they anticipated, especially with the equipment strapped to her back, but they didn’t bother to leave it, as they were under orders not to.

She was hauled to two small land vehicles. She was strapped down on a stretcher attached to one of them, and the equipment attached to her back was loaded onto the other. They brought her to a large ship waiting for them on a hidden shoreline. Words were exchanged in their native language, sharing theories on why they would take such a detour. They were ordered to go back and salvage what items may be of value. Their question was soon answered when they found the official Overwatch emblem on several of the objects they scavenged.

A pretty penny could be made from this impromptu extension of this trip

-----

It was hard to determine what caused Mei to wake up. Her own breaths reverberated unusually loud in her ears. The strange warmth that surrounded her body. The tension that held a tight grasp on her muscles. Perhaps it was the bubbles that brushed against her forehead as they rose. It took a while for everything to register, as her mind was still clouded from sleep.

Mei’s eyes stung as they adjusted to an environment they weren’t meant to see in. She attempted to move her arms to investigate the pressure wrapping around the lower half of her skull. The action was hindered as it moved through what felt like liquid against her skin. When her fingertips reached her face, they were met with hard, artificial material. As she felt it, she discovered it completely covered her mouth, nose, and even wrapped around the back of her head akin to a heavy, metallic mask. This one, however, prevented water from touching any part of her ears as well. Something cylindrical is snaked out from the underside of it. It traveled upward before abruptly disappearing into a harsh glare from some kind of light source. Something clicked in her mind.

Water.

She was held in a glasslike vessel and completely surrounded by water. Oxygen was fed to her through the black tube attached to whatever what fastened to her face. Her body was restrained in a harness around her shoulders and upper torso, and her toes hovered above the floor. Upon gazing down, she found she wasn’t wearing her snow gear anymore, but rather a sleeveless, solid silver bodysuit.

Curious, Mei pulled at the thick mask she wore, but it didn’t budge. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices an IV injected in her forearm and taped securely to her skin. A smaller, transparent tube pumped clear liquid into her veins, and it snaked up like the black one attached to the mask. On her other wrist, a snug cuff with blinking lights that synchronized with her heart rate.

She doesn’t hear or feel the surface of the water lower until the weight of her hair pulls at her scalp and her feet touch a solid surface under her. Her body still ached, but the buoyancy of the water -now at her shoulder line- and the harness took off most of the weight from her legs and feet. It prevented her from collapsing to the bottom of the enclosed environment she was kept in, which her body wished it could do more than anything, but she still willed herself to stand. The cool air graced her cheeks before a brief series of quiet hisses reached her ears before she felt the mask around her head loosen. She pulled it off with ease, and it hung limp on its connector to the ceiling.

Her eyes and lungs adjust to the new atmosphere with rapid blinks and gasps. Within many prolonged seconds, she retook control of her breathing and the lights on her wrist flickered at a slower tempo. She observed as much as she could without the aid of her glasses.

Several people she didn’t recognize stared back at her. All but one of them were in long lab coats. The only one without one wore an expensive black and blue suit. As he stepped closer towards her, the other men and women in the room backed away. The aura of authority coming from his person caused Mei subconsciously stepped backward, too.

Her back touched the edge of the receptacle she was in before she managed to take one whole step.

The suit-clad man was undeterred by her reaction and continued his approach toward her. As he grew closer, her vision grew crisper. His hair was short and spiked and slicked back, with the exception of a stray piece in front of his forehead which he paid no mind to. His height was tough to determine since she was looking at him at eye level, but if both their feet were on the same ground he stood on, he’d most definitely be at least a little taller.

He reached up towards something that was hidden from Mei’s view, but it brought her attention to the tattoo that decorated his toned arm.

“あなたは私を理解していますか？” [Do you understand me?]

A deep, masculine voice spoke from above her. His lip movements matched the sounds that She didn’t understand the language it spoke in, but her thoughts were cut off before she could formulate a response. “なんとか言え！” [Say something!]

“我不明白!” [I don’t understand!] Mei said in a startled and apologetic tone.

He held his emotionless gaze to hers. Mei was putting as much effort as possible into not showing fear, but she wasn’t sure how well she was holding the illusion. “I speak english… if that’s any help,” she said. Hopefully there'll be a lingua franca between them.

His expression remained cold.

“They’ll help you prepare for questioning,” was all he said to her before taking his leave from the room.

He is not a man of many words.

The rest of the water was drained before the transparent walls were lowered and two people stepped up and freed her from the harness and removed the IV from her arm. She was handed off to two women technicians who brought her to another door that blended in with the dark walls of the room. “You’re warm now,” one of the women told her with reassurance in her voice. As she said this, she handed Mei her freshly polished and scratchless glasses.

“But we must hurry,” the second of the two began. “Shimada Hanzo is a very impatient and extremely busy man.”

[hidetheremote]

KazaChi Week, Day 6: Promise

***NOTE: I’m so happy to have participated in this year’s KazaChi Week. I wish I had the time to do all the prompts, but unfortunately, I could not. I hope you enjoyed my contributions! Thank you, @hakuoukishippingweek, for hosting this event!

Also, NSFW! This is rated M!

Lord Kazama returned back to his village, exhausted from the long meeting he had with the other Oni clan leaders. He shuffled quietly into the futon, delicately lifting the blanket he shared with his wife Chizuru, trying not to wake her.

They had been married for two years and the promise of a powerful Oni baby had not yet been conceived. They slept respectively on their sides, their backs facing each other.

Kazama heard the faintest of a huff of air. “I know you’re awake, Chizuru.”

He turned to his other side, his hand sliding across her flat belly, and he pulled her in.

Chizuru laced her fingers with his. She brought his hand closer to her lips and kissed the inside of his palm gently. “How was the meeting?”

Kazama exhaled, his breath fanning Chizuru’s neck. His lips brushed the shell of her ear and he whispered, “Nothing for you to concern about.” But he lied. The other leaders were pressuring him, insisting an heir was imminent. They muttered words like “annulment” and “paramour.”

He felt her chest rumble, unable to contain her sobs. “I think you should find another wife,” she said, her voice shaking at each word. She turned around, immediately hiding her face into his chest. Kazama wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

“That is the stupidest thing you have ever said,” he scoffed, hugging her tighter. “And you’ve said a lot of stupid things since we’ve been married.” Chizuru cried harder, her hands clasping at the fabric of his chest, wrinkles be damned.

“You wanted me to make you pure-blooded babies, and I’m failing miserably,” Chizuru continued to cry. The Oni race was dwindling, their population struggling to grow. It was no secret that Oni women were rare and finding a pure blooded Oni was nearly impossible.

Kazama considered himself lucky to find Chizuru. Although it took quite a lot of convincing, to the point that he tried kidnapping her, Chizuru agreed to marry Kazama. She had no choice, really, since all her Shinsengumi friends had died in the war. For a split second, he felt bad for her. Taking advantage of her at her most vulnerable time was not a good look.

But they needed each other. And here they were, sleeping on the same futon, struggling to make a baby.

They made love on days the doctor had recommended. Days that were considered her highest chances of conceiving. But after a few months of experimenting with different positions, it suddenly became a chore.

“Lady Amari said lifting my legs up would increase our chances,” Chizuru said sheepishly. Kazama sighed, his blood rushing back to his heart, cock going limp.

“You talked to that old crone?” he asked, pushing himself off her, slamming his back onto the futon. They did not make a baby that night.

Chizuru’s weight fluctuated. She was eating different kinds of fruits and vegetables, avoiding certain drinks and food. Other women from different clans and villages stopped by their house to give her advice she didn’t need.

Their marriage was strained, and Kazama was summoned by the Oni council to amend their problem. Because old men always think they knew the answers. And they all agreed Kazama should find another woman, recommending the Oni princess Sen.

“I would rather have a swift death than touch that wench,” Kazama replied, his tone indignant. “I resent the council’s implication that Chizuru is completely to blame. For better or worse, I honor my vows to Chizuru.”

He gripped the hilt of his katana, squeezing as he calmed himself down. He bowed at the council and left without saying another word.

Kazama’s hand traced the curves of Chizuru’s body, heading further down her leg. He cupped each breast, his thumb grazing the nipples. Chizuru let out a soft moan. His hand moved down further, reaching the hem of her nightgown. He slid his hand underneath, his touch burning her skin.

“It’s a safe day,” Chizuru said softly, tilting her head up to look at Kazama. He smirked. He moved in closer, catching her lips into a soft kiss. His hand grasped her knee and he wrapped her leg around his waist, cupping her ass for good measure.

“So?” he teased, peppering her neck with kisses, his fingers dangerously playing at the apex of her thighs. He could feel the warmth between her legs and his blood rushed down to his cock. He pushed her on her back gently and laid on his side. He tilted her chin and kissed her deeply this time, his tongue sliding inside her mouth.

His hand slid back down to her thighs, cupping her sex, two fingers caressing the wet folds.

“Kazama,” she gasped, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him closer. Her hands moved down, pushing the silk fabric off his shoulders. She caressed his exposed skin, and Kazama watched his wife admire every line she touched.

“Take this off,” she commanded. Kazama sat up, happy to oblige his wife’s wishes. He tugged on the belt and the entire kimono fell off his body in one swift move.

He reached for the hem of Chizuru’s nightgown, pulling it over her head and throwing it to side.

He stared at her, their gaze burning each other with heavy desire.

“I will never want anyone else but you,” Kazama said, his hand cupping her cheek. Chizuru turned into his touch, her tongue darting out to taste his index finger. Kazama’s breath hitched, and he pushed his finger further down her mouth.

Chizuru’s eyes were locked with his. She enclosed her lips, her tongue rolling around his fingertip.

Kazama rolled onto his back, carrying Chizuru over on top of him. She straddled him, her thighs on either side of his hips and her entrance slick on his cock.

She moved her hips gently, grinding back and forth the length of his cock. Kazama moaned, his eyes rolled back into his head, feeling every slide with pleasure.

“Fuck, Chizuru,” he groaned, hands gripping the sides of her hips. And if she weren’t an Oni, there would definitely be bruises tomorrow morning.

Chizuru whimpered, her head tilted back and her hands resting on his chest. Kazama was near the edge, and before Chizuru could quicken her pace, he flipped her down gently and hovered over her.

He grabbed her ankles and pushed her legs over her shoulders. “What did Lady Amari say?” he teased.

“She said this was the best way…” Chizuru gasped, her sentence interrupted as Kazama’s tongue licked the bundle of nerves above her entrance.

She gripped his blonde hair, pulling strands at each stroke of his tongue against her folds. “Please,” she squealed. “Give it to me, please.”

Kazama sat up, wiping her sweet nectar off his face. His cock was rock hard in his hands. He stroked it a few times, watching Chizuru pant with anticipation. He inserted the tip and rubbed it up and down her entrance.

“Now,” she shouted. Kazama chuckled, amused at his wife’s impatience. He slid inside easily, giving all of him until he couldn’t push anymore. They gasped at the same time.

Kazama rocked his hips gently, going slow, afraid of the night ending soon. Chizuru whimpered, calling his name in between her pants. Kazama quickened his pace, his hands gripping her thighs, pushing her legs past her shoulders. Fuck, she was flexible.

He felt her walls tightening, her breaths panting faster. He was also coming soon, but he was not going to fall off the edge without her. He took her legs and rested them on his shoulders. He slid his left hand underneath her back, pulling her closer and lifting her at an angle. His right hand slid in between them, his thumb rubbing circles on her clit.

“Chikage,” she screamed, her walls gripping his cock. He followed her a few seconds later, moaning her name with curses like terms of endearment. Chizuru wrapped her legs around his waist, trapping him inside her. She drew him in closer, resting his head in the crook of her neck. “I don’t want anyone else but you, too,” she whispered.

Three Months Later

Kazama came home, with a basket of ripe fruits he picked out from the market. “Oi, Chizuru! I bought two different mangoes,” he called out, placing the basket on the kitchen table. “I don’t remember which one you said you were craving.”

Chizuru came out of their bedroom, face pale and hand gripping her stomach. She looked like she’d been vomiting all day.

“Kazama, I don’t feel so well.”