#he doesn't even deserve to have the name Maxis

[bumblingbee1]

Has anyone sent you any messages, asking to elaborate on that Call Of Duty Zombies worst character, yet? I have never even played it, personally, but I am always willing to encourage the creation of metas and also haterism and you seem pretty eager to complain about the guy, too :--D.

I appreciate you asking! Despite not going there, haterism is indeed a common language :D

Alright *rubs hands together* (putting most of it under readmore)

----------------------------

Basically, there had been talk over the years over who were the worst CODZ characters. Some say the Victis/Tranzit crew, some say Dr Monty and Shadowman, etc.

But I think they're not exactly the worst. Sure, their writings could have gone better, but it can be simply boiled down to them being crammed and shoehorned into the whole thing.

As for Dr Maxis, on the other hand, it's not that simple. Because he's an original character. I'm talking, he was there from the very beginning of the story.

-----------------------------

Dude's an all around fuck up. He gathered scientists from all over the world to form the reseach group called Group 935 and made them make a promise to never reach out to the outside world, isolating them.

Only to later on try to produce wonderweapons for the Nazis! Even Ultimis Richtofen understood how badly it would affect the group!

Also, he's a shitty father who put his daughter in danger multiple times.

Not to flipping mention, the only time we players actually get to interact with Dr Maxis, is when he's a drone in Origins, with the only physical matter being his brain. Yup, Maxis at his most useful was a drone.

Basically, Dr Maxis fucks everything up, whether it be on purpose or by accident.

Overall, it's because he was there from the beginning of the lore that I find his poor writing to be absolutely inexcusable. Besides, I find him mad annoying. He brought it all on himself.

[astonmartinii]

bite the hand | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem musician!reader [face claim: clairo + clairo, boygenius and taylor swift music]

having fans are great, but sometimes it goes to far and you have to bite the hands that feed you

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 913,551 others

tagged: beabadoobee

yourusername: howdy ladies, gentlemen and all that's in between, it's single release day. i had so much fun on this track with bea and getting to pour all of my love for maxy onto such a cute melody... hope you all enjoy my loves x

view all comments

user1: YES THANK YOU MOM THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TODAY

landonorris: how many letters in devoured?

yourusername: ATE 💅

landonorris: ate and left NO crumbs

maxverstappen1: why oh why did i ever introduce you two

yourusername: because you love us both?

maxverstappen1: i sure love you, jury is out on lando

landonorris: boooooooooo

user2: ugh if y/n had to date an f1 driver why couldn't she go for one of the hot ones like lando or charles?

user3: for real like bro he just drags her down

user4: you can't be serious? he's a professional athlete at the top of his sport and by what they show us a massive softy who loves y/n? why would we want anything else for her?

liked by yourusername

user5: y/n will NOT stand for any max bashing idk why you guys try it every time

maxverstappen1: so unbelievably talented and the artist of her generation

yourusername: maybe it's because i have a top notch muse ?

maxverstappen1: NO NO IT'S ALL YOU YOU ARE THE ARTIST I AM JUST LUCKY TO BE IN YOUR VICINITY

yourusername: i am the lucky one baby

danielricciardo: leave your cute shit offline i already have to hear it all of the time let me be on instagram

yourusername: nope love my boyfriend too much

maxverstappen1: nope love my girlfriend too much

user6: they're so insufferable i love them

user7: this song bangs so much more when you pretend it's not about ... him

user8: bro is acting like max verstappen ran over his puppy

user7: sorry i don't want a GREAT artist and BEAUTIFUL woman being dragged down by THAT

user9: you are insane, you do not know y/n, you enjoy her music, that doesn't give you the right to have power over things in her personal life

user10: you people are why this fanbase has a bad name and before long y/n will get fed up too

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 829,043 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: the off weekend spent right

view all comments

user13: i need a man so obsessed with me that all he does is post my face

user14: crazy that all this guy does is wax lyrical about how much he loves her and she's like never at his races ... interesting

user15: and her weirdly entitled fanbase say he doesn't deserve her when she clearly doesn't support him as much as he supports her

yourusername: i love you and our soft little weekends, i wanna do it all the time :(

maxverstappen1: gosh our day jobs are really quite unconventional i guess we should just retire to a remote island to live on a small farm?

yourusername: you said it not me i just wanna be anywhere with you

maxverstappen1: i love you <3

user16: RETIRE TO A REMOTE ISLAND? SOMEONE TELL THIS RAT THAT IF HE IS THE REASON WE DON'T GET MUSIC WE WILL RIDE AT DAWN

user17: babe have you ever thought that maybe the reason he said that he wants to retire away from everyone because you people stick your noses in all the time

danielricciardo: @yourusername a soft weekend you say? how many hours did max spend on the sim?

yourusername: a solid ten but he even let me have a go

danielricciardo: oh wow that man really is in love

maxverstappen1: i think she'd rival a couple of you with some practice, i'm working on getting her to join redline

user18: ugh this is so annoying... preaching like you like spending time with your girlfriend and then spend it all playing a video game and letting her have one go?

user19: the sim is something f1 drivers use to train? if anything max probably shouldn't have let y/n have a go she could've accidentally changed the set up or other things

user20: i'm seeing charles and lewis training this off weekend and he just lies in bed with this girl? he really needs to ditch her to stay at the top

user21: literally two comments up is them talking about him training on the sim the jealousy is insane from both fans at this point

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 893,442 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: happy to take home another win in mexico, i love this track and am forever thankful to this team and my loved ones.

view all comments

user25: holy shit idk what f1 can do but the paddock looked insane today there's no way that is safe for the drivers and personnel.

user26: there's so many videos of people rushing max and although some of them look like max fans who are just excited but there were a lot of very rude rival fans trying to get too close for comfort

yourusername: forever proud of you !! you're like jimmy and sassy with zoomies on crack <3

maxverstappen1: that is the highest of the high compliment thank you my love

yourusername: champagne is on me girlypops no expense spared for the love of my life

redbullracing: do we all qualify as girlypops ???

yourusername: of course !! don't think i didn't notice the supply of vegan pizza rolls you truly are the lactose intolerant allies of the grid

user27: can she stop spending all her hard earned money on this scrub that just uses her

user28: bro makes millions in a year he doesn't NEED her but that doesn't mean he can't want her? you guys are crazy

user29: some of these fans need to do some serious evaluation, drivers are not zoo animals, they are people and deserve respect and that includes respect to their personal space.

user30: for real like why was brad basically having to act as a body guard for max and y/n

user31: this was such a dangerous event for max and y/n. they're both very famous individuals and should be able to move around the paddock without being in danger.

user32: max joked about getting a body guard for this weekend but i think he should seriously consider it especially is y/n is coming to more races while she's not touring

danielricciardo: it has been brought to my attention that y/n has stated that she will spare no expense, i am making a formal enquiry into whether this will cover my bar tab?

yourusername: i will within reason but only because your bffs with maxy and will drink the fruity lil cocktails with me

danielricciardo: REAL men drink cocktails

maxverstappen1: do NOT disrespect the humble gin and tonic on my post

user33: i'm glad they're in high spirits after the shenanigans in the paddock today and the booing towards max :(

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, maxverstappen1 and 1,442,776 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: there is no full way to articulate my feelings right now. my fans have to respect my personal relationships and my boundaries. i appreciate your support but you have to understand that i am not your personal friend and you do not have the right to my personal life. i also understand that in sport, there are a lot of heightened emotions, but drivers do not owe you their safety. this is something i have felt for a long time since max and i became a public couple and the onslaught of hate came for him. you may say that it comes from a good place, or for my best interests, but the manner in which some 'fans' have expressed their 'worries' is unacceptable. i do not want to bite the hand that feeds me, but there's only so many slaps me and my loved ones can take from the hand.

bite the hand is out on all streaming platforms. please listen closely a re-evaluate your relationships with your favourite artists, thank you.

comments are not available on this post.

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,220,664 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i love you and i will never let other people tell me when i'm not enough get in my head again. we both appreciate our support and acknowledge that we would be nowhere without it. but our relationships are ours, please respect this.

comments are not available on this post

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,344,229 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: okay sad songs are important but it's now time for me to sing my wee little heart out about how much i love you and how i know we were always made for each other.

i love you maxy, invisible string is all about my muse. out now.

view all comments

user41: IT BANGS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

user42: ffs i guess we're stuck with this man for life now ...

user43: LISTEN TO BITE THE HAND AND BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AND HEAR THE PINBALLS OF YOUR BRAIN GOING CRAZU

user44: speak your truth sis

maxverstappen1: ISN'T IT JUST SO PRETTY TO THINK THAT ALL ALONG THERE WAS SOME INVISIBLE STRING TYING YOU TO ME

maxverstappen1: so true, you make me believe in soulmates YOU ARE MY SOULMATE I LOVE YOU

yourusername: i love you to the moon and to saturn for real

yourusername: and that thread of gold is made from all of your trophies LET'S GO RAHHHHHHHH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

maxverstappen1: the gold of that grammy @thegrammys yall heard bags?

user45: the way they're each others wags and completely embrace it

user46: i love that they're still their goofy asses they don't give a shit abou t yall

user47: y/n dropped a heart wrenching track and immediately went ... but hey i'm SUPER happy and that's all you're going to hear

landonorris: so like can y/n remix the dutch anthem so we can actually bop every weekend

yourusername: i kinda wanna marry the king of the netherlands so maybe not

landonorris: you broke up ?????

yourusername: no you dumbass max is the king of the netherlands

maxverstappen1: not factually but i do have a medal from the royal family so same thing

landonorris: why do you guys have to clown on me every time

yourusername: you're like our baby brother it's our duty

maxverstappen1: sorry not sorry

user48: you could never make me hate them they're made for each other

user49: finally bite the hand shamed the crazy bitches into finally shutting the fuck up

note: i love bite the hand i actually fear it might be my fave boygenius song and i recommend it to everyone. i actually did my university dissertation on parasocial relationships with athletes so like i feel like a good couple of sports fans could do with a listen to bite the hand. hope yall enjoyed and had a good weekend !! (chelsea gave me a heart attack but what's new, even though i was too sick to go to the game:()

[lilyrizzy]

jealous max who won’t let himself come off jealous but failing my beloved… an essential headcanon in these times lol. also reassuring daniel…

"You are still coming to Monaco, yes?"

It's the third time in just as many days that Max has asked him this. Over phonecalls that he initiated too. It's- Strange. Normally, getting ahold of him while they're in different places is impossible. Daniel once downloaded fucking discord in a desperate attempt to check his boyfriend really was just too busy on the sim and not like, dying in some corner of their apartment.

"Max, of course I am coming," Daniel tells him. For the third time. Then, because hopefully it will remind Max that he can't exactly get out of it- "It's in my contract, remember?"

Instead of the reasuring 'of course,' Daniel is expecting, followed by a mile a minute play-by-play of his charity race on Sunday, there's silence.

Or, at least no words from Max's mouth. Daniel can hear him breathing, the soft drag and drop of air, the rustling of sheets. It's easy then for Daniel to picture him shifting in their bed, and the familiar ache of missing him blooms in his chest.

"Maxy?"

"You can, of course, probably get out of it," Max says after another pause, voice casual in a way Daniel knows him well enough to have nicknamed his 'fuck the media' voice.

Why do you think you have crashed so many times this year, Max?

"Why would I do that?" Daniel asks with a startled laugh. Then, "come on, don't you miss me?"

Their joke that never quite felt it, not when Daniel has had so many things to miss over the last few years. Max, when they're apart. Family. Driving. The version of himself he used to see mirrored in Max's eyes as he watched Daniel climb up onto that top step.

It's even less funny now, when Max asks like he really is uncertain, "I don't know. Do you miss me?"

"Of course I do, baby," Daniel insists, sitting up from where he's been sprawled out on his back, the shitty pillows of the hotel bed too hard. He doesn't know where this is going, but he knows it's nowhere good.

There's more quiet, just the sound of Max wriggling. If Daniel was there, he could roll himself into Max's lap, hold his wrists above his head. Kiss him, tell him he's not letting him go until he turns that frown upside down.

Over the phone, all he can do is wait. Say his name again, until-

"You just- With Scotty, I think you have more fun. Than with me."

Max's voice is small, but his words knock the breath from Daniel's chest.

"Max," is all he can croak out for a moment, unsure of how to fix this.

Clutting the phone harder with one hand, his other comes stupidly to his mouth, knawing. In his mind, he tries to retrace his steps, to work out how they got here, but he knows he and Scotty have been hanging out a lot. And-

And there's some truth to it, Daniel can't lie. It's just not in the way Max thinks. It's not a question of fun, more-

"Sometimes, I just need- I don't know baby, to get away from it all," he rushes to explain around his bleeding nail bed, hating that all has to mean Max too. "The reminders that I'm not driving. That- That I failed."

Scotty is good for talking about everything but. His one good friend that never came with him to every fucking race, wasn't employed because of his career. Didn't see every crack, tear and scream that way Michael, Blake, Max did.

Somebody he can still be Danny Ric with, when he's sick of being Daniel Ricciardo, washed up and left out to dry.

"You did not fail," Max says, petulant, and Daniel doesn't deserve the smile he can't quite bite back, the way Max defends him even against himself. "You- I love you. I do not want to be something you need to run away from. It- It frightens me, feeling not so close."

Daniel is such a cunt.

"We are close," he insists, desperate, because they have to be. This can't be another thing he loses. "We- I'm going to get in the car and drive home right now, and show you how close we are. I'm going lie on top of you, squash you until we become one person, I- Fuck, Maxy, I'm sorry. I love you too, you- You know that, right, that I love you?"

To his relief, Max lets out a noise that's close to laugh, though it sounds wet like he's crying and Daniel wants to wring his own neck.

Instead, he gets up and starts packing.

"Yes?" Max says, checking. "Even if I remind you of all the bad things."

Daniel shakes his head though Max can't see, pausing where he'd been shoving his wallet into his pocket.

"Maxy, you are all champagne showers," he promises, and sometimes he can lie when he's sure that one day soon it will be the truth. "Champagne showers and Monday lie-ins. Just- Fuck it, I'll drive back in my PJ's, just give me a few hours, yeah?"

"You are coming home?" Max asks, hopeful through his tears.

Daniel so badly wants to kiss him.

"Yeah, baby, I'm coming home."

[babiebom]

Would I Give Them Head(dbd edition)

A/N:I did a Stardew valley version and thought that it would be cool/funny if i did it for all of the things I write for! Again this is only for the males! And it's just for fun! Both killers and survivors

Tw:sexual content,cursing

Genre:headcanons? Shitpost.

Wc: 2+ for each character!

The Mastermind/Albert Wesker

Only in a hate sex situation

I severely dislike this man

I do not care that he is blonde and British I HATE him:(

The Dredge

Absolutely not wtf

I don't wanna hear tortured screams thanks

The Blight/Talbot Grimes

No

I do not enjoy his drippy face

It's icky

The Ghostface/Danny "Jed Olsen" Johnson

Yes

I think we have already established that I'm a Ghostface girlie

Would give him the best sloppy toppy I could

Is allowed to kill me after I do not mind

The Doctor/ Herman Carter

Not unless I had to

His face scares me and I hate his laugh

I would also dislike him as a person

The Clown/ Jeffrey Hawk

No

And when I say thia I mean all the disrespect

But i hate this stupid clown

He makes me want to be violent

The Trapper/Evan Macmillan

I feel like he doesn't wash himself properly

So no

Probably is filthy

The Wraith/Phillip Ojomo

Not my favorite but due to his backstory I feel bad for him

So maybe a friendly handjob

The Hillbilly/Max Thompson Jr

I say this with NO disrespect

But he does not bathe

And while I love him I am not putting that anywhere near my mouth

Will give him a handjob tho

The Oni/Kazan Yamaoka

Yeah sure

He is large and in charge

Also has to be clean? I think he might be clean

The Nightmare/Freddy Kreuger

No

I would however like to punch the side of his head so hard it caves in

He deserves to have it cut off

The Twins/Victor Deshayes

No

This is a child

The Cenobite/Elliot Spencer

The chains are kinda kinky

So yeah

Also him tummy out and I think its cute

The Nemesis

No

Stinky dead man

His tentacle things make you sick he needs to stay away from me

The Executioner/Pyramid Head

YES

he is one that is allowed to be dirty

He is so attractive and he doesn't even have a face

He just walks around with that big ass sword knife thing and his hips amd im sold

I'm down bad

The Legion/Frank

Probably not

Isn't he like 18?

Too young for me

The Legion/Joey

Again too young for me

So no

Like im sorry but they're literally described as teens

The Cannibal/Bubba Sawyer

Like Maxie

Its not that i hate him its that he's stinky

So handjob it is

The Knight/Tarhos Kovács

For the following i think they're all stinky

BUT Tarhos is different

Simply because I do like the Knight x Princess trope and I would like to be the princess

So I guess yes

The Carnifex/Sander Rault

No

Hate him

Wanna smash a pallet on his bead

The Assassin/Durkos Malecek

No

Stupid man

Always is mean so NO

I will scream if he appears one more time

The Jailer/Alejandro Santiago

Maybe a handjob because I like his name

Its very cute

The Shape/Michael Myers

Unfortunately yes

Though I do hate the man because he literally instakills me

I cannot deny that I am attracted to him

The Deathslinger/Caleb Quinn

No

Peepaw does not get his Dick sucked by me sorry

He needs to be in a nursing home and have his shooting license revoked

The Trickster/Jiwoon Hak

Yes

Very attractive but also very annoying

The one killer I main

I would give him one the punch him immediately

The Demogorgon

This is bestiality

So no

Doggie does not get head from me

Does get head rubs tho

Maybe some belly rubs

The Singularity

I have no idea who this is where did it even come from

Is this a man or woman someone tell me

Also while I am a robot fucker I would have to say no

Jake Park

Yes

I had an immediate crush on him

He is also a loner type so yes

Absolute hawtie

Dwight Fairfield

Yes

Sweet sweet boy probably needs one

Would be so thankful that I HAVE to

Leon Kennedy

YES

is this even a question fr?

Sexy sexy man

Only cop I will get on my knees for

David Tapp

No

Reminds me of family members

William "Bill" Overbeck

Naur eema

Maybe a handjob because why not i like his get up one time free perk

David King

No

Gives off bestie vibes

Would give handjob tho

Steve Harrington

Okay don't kill me

But I have never watched the tinger strangs

Aren't they in middle or high school

Absolutely not

Carlos Oliveira

I like his name it makes him seem attractive

So yes

Ace Visconti

NO

Have a love hate relationship with this man

Will not have any part of me close to him in that way at all

Quentin Smith

An adult?

I think?

I have also never seen this movie I am so confused

Yes if adult no if younger than 21

Adam Francis

Ummmmm

Sure I guess

I think it would be okay?

Jeff Johansen

He looks stinky but idk

I would give him a handjob

He seems cool and mysterious

Ash Williams

NO

I do not find him attractive at all

I kinda dislike his face

Jonah Vasquez

No

He just seems stinky

Yoichi Asakawa

YES

I had a big crush on him when I first played the game

Will get on my KNEEES FOR HIM

WILL GET SACRIFICED FOR HIM

Felix Richter

Yuh

Gives off sugar daddy vibes

Vittorio Toscano

Yuhhhhh

Also gives off sugar daddy vibes

Why is be so attractive is it the hair?

Jonathan Byers

Again i have not watched the show

Are they not all teens?

I am so confused

No

[kimberlyannharts]

misc thoughts on Issue #120 -

= Insert obligatory "this should have been an Unlimited book, not just a regular issue, fuck Hyperforce" comment here. It's a little hard to talk about it beyond just "man these characters deserved more time and space to get to know them" because that really is the main problem with it. I'll be very surprised if we get anything about the Green, Black, and Pink Solars beyond the fact that Green's name is Charisma

= They are partly saved by how good their designs are, though, at least

= I appreciate how it feels like they wanted to include a legit m/m Ranger pair before the main series ends, but it's just a shame it had to happen in a "it developed offscreen in a Ranger team we haven't seen in years with characters we've never seen before two issues before the series ends" sort of way. Especially since Maxie and Salum really have no screentime together in a casual/romantic way even in this issue until the end. Maybe #122 can fix this a bit? Hopefully

= Why did Ranger Slayer go to the Void alone why didn't she bring the other Rangers along I thought that was the WHOLE PLANNN

= In ML's review of this issue he mentions how they only gave Ari and Remi a daughter to make this whole thing feel sadder and......yeah, that's 100% true lol like don't get me wrong, it's very sweet. But also very obviously manufactured to pull your heartstrings

= "Very obviously manufactured to pull your heartstrings" I think can also apply to how Remi's characterized in this. Like again, her and Ari are very sweet. They're one of the comics' best original couples. But we all knew she was going to end up corrupted after her second speech about hope and Ari looking into the camera and saying "if anything happens to Remi I'm gonna do something drastic." I feel like I remember her being a little rougher in Beyond the Grid - more possessive of Ari and jealous when she gets closer to the new Rangers - which made her feel a little more interesting and less Too Good For This Sinful Earth/Dead Wife

= Though I will give them that this instance of "character does something super drastic and potentially very dangerous despite their teammates' protests" feels a lot more justified here than it will with Billy next issue, considering Ari gets pushed to the edge by losing her teammates, home, and lover in one fell swoop. And it helps that she doesn't beat up her teammates in the process

= Dayne's totally dead right

[bklynmusicnerd]

GH Catch Up Part Three:

- Laura getting all giddy trying to get the sociopathic mooch to play family with her. Just tragic and embarrassing.

Finally, some Trina and Portia interaction! Wish it was longer but I'll take it. Trina thanking Portia for her tentative olive branch to Spencer and Portia admitting she's "not sold" yet was interesting. It's never not gonna amuse me how Portia can never just take the win. Trina has forgiven for her paternity disaster and doesn't know the full extent of her plotting against her happiness.

She should be making every effort to stay on Trina's good side, but control is too important for her, so even an olive branch to Trina's boyfriend is issued with a caveat. I also think it's important to peep BK's acting choices during that hug with Trina.

She's still very bothered by the idea of Trina and Spencer, which puts an asterisk over whatever alleged progress Portia is making on the "be less controlling" front. We'll see but I fear her toxic mom tendencies might doom her again. She can say she's letting go but actually doing it is another thing.

- Joss coming through with Adam and Dumb Dex is cracking me up. And Carly already knows Adam's name too. This is what Dex deserves is all I have to say.

- Of course Kristina is going to be the egg donor because this is the Maxie story all over again. Riveting stuff.

- God, Amnesia Esme is insufferable. Fuck her and her cheap shot at Trina denying her an absolution she didn't earn. Crying about not being afforded "grace" as if it's something she's entitled to. This is why this character will never work as a longterm one. If she's not scheming, all she provides are tears and whining. No capacity for self-reflection quickly makes for a dull character if they're not being played as the antagonist they're meant to be.

- Marshall is going straight to hell for using the memory of the dead woman he ghosted to cover up for his weirdness with Stella.

- Spencer's brain synapses are functioning again since he's the only who picked up on how completely fucking bizarre it is for a first time mother to abandon her baby for "me time" on Christmas Eve. Pour one out for Kevin who has officially joined the useful idiots brigade and thinks his sociopathic mooch of a niece was being "sincere". Starting to think Laura's hell house could be explained by an unknown mold issue because brain cells are not lasting for long in that house.

- If Nina has reached Catholic levels of guilt and wants to participate in confession then she might as well just tell Sonny. I don't know why she'd be married to someone she doesn't believe would be on her side through thick and thin.

- I'm not here for Trina being compared to that long suffering woman that Curtis called a mother. No thank you.

- Do not care about the "anguish" of Amnesia Esme getting her memories back and having it confirmed that she's a sociopath. Tired of the wide-eyed weepy bullshit with this character. It's not convincing. It's just played out. The very fact that her immediate next steps upon getting her first memory were to abandon her demon spawn to go break into Wyndemere prove that Trina was right about her memory being irrelevant. Her "redemption" was bullshit. She successfully weaponized her demon spawn like she was always going to pre-amnesia, what's so redemptive about that? She was always going to be a sociopath and do sociopathic shit, no matter what, because she doesn't have the capacity for genuine remorse or to think about anything or anyone beyond herself, not even her own demon spawn.

- Trina and Spencer (and demon spawn) meeting up at the hospital was cute, and I appreciated the subtle acknowledgment of their improved communication because Trina already knew Spencer was gonna be on his domestic crap on Christmas Eve before sociopathic mooch switched up the plan. Essentially, their big fight/almost breakup wasn't meaningless and has had a lasting effect on their relationship.

- Bonus: Even though no one has talked more shit about demon spawn existing on the canvas than me, I would be lying if I didn't admit that one of the funniest ongoing bits of the year was demon spawn being the number one fan of his mom's enemy.

- Finn has no business reading the Night Before Christmas, it should've been Kevin with Laura. Even if Finn wasn't one of the most hated characters this year, he's not a patriarch or respected member of PC like that. He's definitely not on par with Laura. A bizarre decision to end a bizarrely scripted episode.

[mcschnuggles]

Regressing!Archie headcanons

It's really hard for him to regress at first. He's a giver by nature, so he's not that used to taking. 1000% something he needs though. He's used to being the anchor, so for once he needs to drift and let the ship take the lead

He loves having a schedule, loves having someone else make the decisions, and admittedly loves being bossed around. It's things he doesn't really give as a caregiver and most of the reason why he craves those things so desperately

That being said, Maxie is his primary caregiver

His favorite activities are the kinds that make a mess. Painting, baking, playing at the beach. It all gives Maxie a run for his money but that's only half the reason he likes it so much

The other half is because baths are so nice. He's not shy about his body, so it's a good bonding experience. His favorite part is getting his hair washed!

It's about the company! The COMPANY!! Maxie's very much a give-me-something-to-fix-and-I'll-fix it type person, but more than anything, Archie needs someone to hold him and tell him it's okay

Archie needs so much physical affection. Cuddles are ideal but even just holding his hand helps a lot

He obviously told his admins because they're his best friends! Sometimes they try and prompt him to get small so he takes a break, all to... varying degrees of success. He's better at self care but it's easy to forget he's just as stubborn as Maxie is

His Sharpedo's name is Mariana and he WILL pet her because she deserves it. It doesn't matter if it hurts his skin, that's just a risk he's willing to take!!

His Mightyena's name is Kidd and Kidd loves to sleep in bed when Archie's tiny

Loves being read and sung to. It doesn't matter if the book is boring or if Maxie can't sing, it's the thought that counts and he'll usually be out in the first five minutes anyway

[angelamontoo]

Herman would have a cold nose like a puppy fr. He has sad wet puppy energy.

Lorentz has manic baby kitten energy. Not particularly smart but energetic.

Professor what's his face Fenugreek (can't remember his name) is a dove. Mainly because doves are just white pigeons. He thinks he's better than the peasant pigeons when he's one too!!

Eggman I mean Dr. Google the Gogol would be some sort of bald headed bird. Or even a baby chick that just hatched from its egg. He's a big serious doctor but he's actually a sad little guy hurting because he has no game. I was initially going to say cockatoo but he should be bald. Its his most memorable feature.

I feel like a baby chick would do better because its cute and fresh from the egg

Joel would be either a cockatoo or a peacock because he's fancy and expensive. I'm leaning more towards peacock because it just feels like him. I want to see him wear a peacock inspired suit now.

Cornelius Leydon - Capybara. I googled what's the best animal in the world and I got capybara so he'll be a capybara. He's best boy so he deserves best animal.

I also see Leydon being a cute little bunny so there's also that.

Ooh love these!!

Big fan of puppy Herman especially. I think Jonathan and the rest of the Brewsters would be cats, except Mortimer who'd be a turkey(cause hes not a blood Brewster ofc, but also cause he has big, loud, anxious bird energy) and Elaine who'd be a puppy aswell, cause I love parallels between her and herm

Kitten Lorentz is natural. I feel like Billings would be a goat. Also, ik the rest of the Boogie fandom doesn't give af about him, but I love Maxie and I see him as a big Bernese Mountain dog

Very good about Dove Fenninger with everyone else in the film being standard pigeons. Saliano can be a raven and Mainwaring can be an Eagle

Love your vivid description of Gogol. I'm imagining him as that weird lil naked Tweety pie precursor. Maybe Yvonne is a mouse and Dr Wong is a hedgehog

Peacock chole!! Spade and Wilmer are both cats, I kinda like the idea of o Shaughnessy as maybe a fox, Effies a deer, Gutmans a bulldog and maybe the Archers can be rabbits idk

I kinda like bunny leyden better, but those are both good. Peters is an owl, dimitrios is fox, Grodek and Anna bulik are siamese cats Irana is a Swan, Karel Bulic strikes me as a scottie dog and Colonel haki can be a duck

[ribbononline]

team hcs lets go! lets go!

maxie;

Numel/Camerupt (Sandstone) ; Caught when having temporarily ran away from home as a child, the pokemon he's had the longest. She's very chill and just vibing most of the time- she loves to cuddle and she’s well behaved, Due to having been with Maxie all his childhood, she’s seen a lot of the… less then pleasant stuff, and will still fly into a panic if she ever sees anyone attempting to harm him physically. She’s very protective.

Poochyena/Mightyena (Granite) ; His parents owned a Houndoom and a Mightyena, who had two Poochyena pups together. When Maxie ran off in highschool he took them both with him. Granite's very lively, and out of the whole team has the most trouble fighting against Archie's team. She just doesn't get what happened between them. She listens well however, she just…. doesn’t get why she can’t hang out with her sister anymore.

Poochyena/Mightyena (Obsidian) ; The other Poochyena pup Maxie took from home, though she ended up as a part of Archie's team somewhere in highschool.

Zubat/Golbat/Crobat (Mercury) ; Obtained in Rocket, one of the Pokémon issued to almost all members. Mercury was a recent catch of the team, so while he was a little freaked out and untrusting, Maxie ended up winning him over fairly easily with some treats. He loves to sit on Maxie's head and/or wrap his wings around him. It doesn't make seeing easier but Maxie has never managed to get him to stop.

Weezing (Chalcantite) ; Obtained in college, from an old teacher Maxie got along with well enough. She was retiring, and wanted her Pokémon to be able to travel a while longer. So, Maxie took the Weezing over! Originally he'd never gotten a nickname- and even though Maxie technically gave him one, it's kind of a 50/50 chance if he remembers that thats his name and responds to it. His original owner died somewhere in the Rocket years. Chalcantite is fairly slow, but very enthusiastic. He's doing his best. Post-ORAS Maxie let's him retire to a Pokémon daycare since he's already getting old- but he still gets very excited whenever Maxie visits. He's living out his last days being spoiled by the employees of the daycare.

Gligar (Novaculite) ; Obtained post-ORAS. Once Maxie and Archie moved in together, they kept finding items around the house missing, and someone kept going trough their trash nightly. Eventually Maxie (literally) caught the culprit. He originally meant to release it, but Archie convinced him to try training it- Gligars don't normally live in Hoenn, so it probably got here by accident somehow and didn't know how to adapt to the environment, leading to the thefts. Training it would help it! Also it's a ground type come on Maxie you know you want another cute ground type let it join, It worked. A spoiled little thing that loves to constantly be held and cuddled and will demand attention if it's not given. Novaculite- or Nova, as literally everyone including Maxie as this point calls him- rarely joins battles, it doesn’t really enjoy them- but it likes to just hang around and watch, eating whatever treats it can get.

Trapinch/Vibrava/Flygon (Mica) ; Obtained post-ORAS, about a year after Nova. Originally found as a trapinch when Maxie was trying to research in the desert of route 111, apparently in the area this Trapinch called his territory. After days of fighting with the thing, eventually it just... didn't show up one day when Maxie got into the space it normally protected. Kind of curious (and slightly concerned) Maxie ended up looking around for it, finding it stuck under some collapsed desert ruin fragments it couldn't get out from again. Taking pity on the Trapinch he helped it out, and after that it started following him around. After a week or two when research was done, Maxie ended up taking it home, and that was that. Very brash and competitive, Mica loves to fight- and also loves to be praised afterwards for it. Having only recently evolved into it's final form, it's still not used to it's larger body and keeps accidentally breaking furniture.

Volcarona (Tephra) ; Obtained post-ORAS, the most recent addition to the team. Caught when on a vacation in Unova with Archie- Maxie kind of fell in love with the look of the Pokémon, and decided to take her home. Archie nearly got a heart attack when he saw Maxie with it. Tephra is very regal, very large, and (like most of Maxie's pokemon) very spoiled and pampered. She does not tolerate a no for an answer- though she never causes a fuss. If she disagrees with you she will just burn her path to whatever she wanted- very calmly, and very regally. She only listens to Maxie.

She's the one Pokémon on Maxie's team Archie can not figure out how to win over. She just... hovers there. Will she burn you? Will she just let you pass? You won't know until you walk past her. For your sake, have some treats on hand to bribe her.

archie;

Carvanha/Sharpedo (Dusk) ; Caught as a child with the help of his mom and one of his older siblings. They found it without the rest of it's school, and Archie was adamant he wanted it as his Pokémon, so they helped him catch it. Stubborn and kind of aggressive, it took forever to tame him- As a child Archie was just constantly covered in bites from it. He never gave up or was even discouraged though- this was his Pokémon!! He loved it!! Over time the Pokémon finally started feeling safe around him, and they got closer until it evolved. As a Sharpedo he honestly mellowed out a lot. It's very easygoing, and great with kids. It loves to be pet and cuddled- which Archie always indulges, despite the fact that Dusk very much has the rough skin ability.

Grimer/Muk (Pizza) ; Found as a child in a nearby trash dump- the Grimer was actually sitting in an empty pizza box. Being like 10 and thinking he was so smart it thus got named Pizza. Pizza's also pretty chill, and loves to eat and sleep. That said, when it is awake, it's very good at sneaking up on people. Maxie doesn't get how a literal goop of toxic waste can do that but Pizza is a toxic waste goop of many talents.

Poochyena/Mightyena (Granite) ; Obtained from Maxie in high school. Like her sister, she's very energetic and lively. Granite loves to run, and is pretty much always doing something. She listens very well though, and she’s mostly just a good girl. She’s a bit smaller then her sister. Much like her sister, she has the hardest time fighting Maxie's team in battle. She just doesn't get why they must fight <:[

Zubat/Golbat/Crobat (Fangs) ; Obtained in Rocket, one of the Pokémon issued to almost all members. The zubat had been caught a while ago, and had been passed from grunt to grunt- with some... not great owners inbetween. When Archie got him, the thing was incredibly skittish and aggressive with massive trust issues for humans. It took Archie forever to even get it to stop trying to bite him whenever it was out of it's pokeball, but he never gave up on the tiny Pokémon. Eventually managing to win it's trust, Fangs still has a lot of trust issues towards other humans. It tolerates Maxie, Shelly and Matt, but prefers not to be touched by anyone but Archie. Still, it loves him very much- and it's loved a lot in return. Fangs has the best life he can now, Archie always does his best to make him feel comfortable no matter the situation they're in. He also turned out to be a very strong fighter, despite being fairly weak (mainly due to mistreatment) as a zubat.

Mantyke/Mantine (Tidal) ; Caught just before somewhere in Rocket years. He met her on one of his walks along the beach- thinking over his life’s mistakes-with one of her fin being caught up in net. After helping her out she turned out very playful and he definitely could use something nice- besides, because of her injury she seemed to have lost her school and needed the company. So he ended up catching her! Once she evolved (somewhere in Aqua) she got trained to help rescue people- mainly in case a grunt ever got stuck in a rip current or something. As such , while still playful, she knows to be careful gentle and caring when it comes down to it! She's a good girl. While Maxie knew of her in Rocket he never saw her much, and she had the hardest time warming up to him after the teams reunited again. She doesn’t battle often. Archie takes her along sometimes when battling for fun or if he truly thinks he needs her- but usually he lets her do her thing. As such, she was not present in the deep sea cavern fight.

Castform (Missy) ; Obtained post-ORAS. A little pest who wants to get her way. The reunited team tried catching her to help study and watch out for lingering weather effects Kyogre and Groudon might've caused, but failed each time. Instead she got very good at ruining the equipment near the base or that was brought out on field missions. Eventually Archie literally made a deal with her to Stop Doing That in exchange for pokepuffs. It worked! She stuck around, and became a part of the team. She's no good at fighting and never battles, but she's very good at demanding attention. Plus, she ended up helping the team out with the research on lingering weather effects after all, so she deserves some extra treats for her hard work, she thinks. Archie has no idea how to deal with her, but she’s happy and helping out, so… he supposes he can deal with it.

Archie also has a bunch of Pokémon that are by no means actually his- they’re wild Pokémon that he’s helped along the way, and remember and recognise him. A lot will hang out with him, some follow him around, and a select few will happily temporarily join his team if he asks. The most notable ones are;

A Quagsire named Mr. Goop. She was found sickly from having been caught in an oil spill. After having been rescued and cared for by Aqua, she was mistaken for male for the longest time due to her large backfin. Once Archie found out she just had a larger fin then normal for females of the species but what still very much a girl, she’d already gotten used to the name of Mr. Goop, so Mr. Goop she stayed.

A Sealeo named Tundra. Found as a spheal without a group and living in waters to warm for it, Archie helped it migrate to a better environment. However, the thing never seemed to want to join another spheal pack, and as such just ended up traveling around with Archie for a long time. It was always however very interested in battling, and evolved soon enough- ending up strong enough to survive on it’s own fine. Tundra joins Archie’s team most often whenever he needs an extra fighter- Tundra loves the battles, and it loves the treats. Still, it appreciates being able to return to the wild seas again in the end.

A Lanturn named Siren. Found with her lightstem damaged, Aqua helped repair parts of it with prosthetics. Once she could hunt on her own again, she was released back to the seas, but still visits the base every few months and hangs around there for a couple of weeks.

[crystalelemental]

Unit Viability Speculation - Victor

God, I've been waiting for this since I saw his kit, I'm so excited.

Victor sucks!

Oh, I'm sorry, I should've specified: I don't care about Victor, and actively want the worst for him since he became Reddit's incel poster child for whining about female protagonists getting all the attention over more deserving men.

Victor is a physical Grass-type striker.  His main move is Drum Beating, a 4-bar move with perfect accuracy and a speed debuff for some reason, yielding a damage penalty that puts him at 160 base.  For comparison, SC Rosa, out now, is 185 at base because of the accuracy limitation she doesn't have, and still gets -2 special defense to massively improve her damage every hit.  Point 1 for SC Rosa, but don't worry, there will be others.

He gets Dire Hit+, and his trainer move is +6 attack with free move next and physical moves up next +1.  Meaning he's a three-turn setup guy, compared to Rosa's effective 1.  Score 2 for Rosa.

His secondary move is High Horsepower.  It is just damage.  It's also worth noting his attack isn't even that great compared to more recent fare. So frankly, you will never use his Ground-type damage after Cynthia's grid expansion, Maxie's rerun, Courtney's Zone, or even Naomi being free or Hapu's EX.  Meanwhile, Rosa got Sweet Scent to debuff evasion -2 for rare multipliers and general accuracy, and essentially Team Sharp Entry on trainer move. Score 3 for Rosa.

I'm going to take a moment from dunking on Victor to talk about his merits. Namely, Targets Maxed, and Piercing Blows.  Yeah, he got Piercing Blows. Because that's normal.  Targets Maxed makes his Max Move AoE, which is nice but not super crazy?  At least not to me. It feels more like an SS Ethan-ism, where it removes the need to ever EX him because the AoE sync doesn’t matter due to his other tools.

His grid offers some fun tools.  Overwhelm 9 is a nice attack debuff every move, High Horsepower has Bogo 9 so he can dual strike. Twofer 2 is okay but inconsistent, and Rejuvenate 6 is useless.  Hunter's Instinct is good with his debuff, and of course the sync multiplier is the notorious Cakewalk.  What is nice is Critical Eye on his trainer move, easing setup by a turn, but at this point it should be clear what Victor does.  He supplements.  He is bonus damage that attempts to be as limited on gauge use as possible.  And just like SC Sonia, I don't think it works in his favor.  Victor's slow, and his attacking moves are high-gauge cost.  High Horsepower gets completely free actions after the first, but Drum Beating runs a dangerous risk of being unavailable in a dual-strike comp, making him...kind of a problem in those capacities.

And then there's the true nail.   Everything about his kit relies on speed debuffs.  His multipliers in every angle are about speed debuffs, which are useless.  They almost never delay the foe's attacks, and exist solely for multipliers.  They're hard to set up because almost every user of speed debuff is single-target one stage at a time, making it rough in 3v3 content.  His Max Move doesn't even set Grassy Terrain, so there goes the one interesting point of utility he could have had, thanks to Gigantamax being worse.  He makes up for it with Max Move AoE damage, but by now you know where I'm going with this.

Rosa's infinitely better than this guy.  Her multipliers are easier to set up just by herself, and the team utility she provides is off the charts good, to say nothing of her absurd sync nuke.  Victor cannot compete with SC Rosa. He's weaker by attack and by sync, his team support is nonexistent, his debuffs are both slower and worse, and his gauge control is worse because you're constantly praying for 30% rolls to always go in your favor.

Also sorry, it just connected that some of Victor's skills are 4/5 and 5/5 locked. Those are High Horsepower BOGO 9, so there goes any utility in Ground, Overwhelm 9 so there goes his debuff utility, Max Damage Guard so there goes some extra tanking, and Max Slip Up for -2 speed that could've made his access to sync nuke reasonable.  Unlike Wally, Victor actually loses some of his best traits to this.

This is the most skippable PokeFair in ages.  A character I don't care about, with a Pokemon I'm not as invested in, and a performance that is nothing short of middling.