#he doesn’t need any standup citizens

[garmanarnarr]

OKAY I NEED THIS FIC THOUGH

Morty kidnapping…… like we’re already BORDERLINE there in the show itself and this captures the way that Rick would totally do it sheerly out of principle. like. idk if you were planning explicit rickorty content in here OP but as written this feels totally canon. we could have an episode like this lmao. In fact maybe it would be a whole arc, where eventually Rick returns Morty for what the audience thinks is a genuinely contrite, emotionally intelligent reason, only for the classic RnM “this happened for a selfish reason actually” reveal to happen at the end like a punch in the face. And that would only happen because the show literally needs to keep other characters around to have them bounce off of and put conflict between them etc etc. but tldr, this concept taps into Rick’s control issues in a perfectly believable way.

the great thing is in fic world, Rick gets to keep him forever :) and I just think that’s neat :)

wow we really are connected telepathically what is going on here like

OKAY so I didn't want to hijack this post by @garmanarnarr but op and I are like, communicating telepathically at this point bc in like april i wrote this (unfinished) concept for a fic:

Δ14β9

"Bad Rick" dimension(alternatively, Good Beth dimension??)

Beth decided to put her foot down about Morty going on adventures. She decides enough is enough and Rick can no longer be trusted to keep Morty safe, so he's permanently grounded from anything off world. Rick can hang out with Morty either at the house or with direct supervision, but no more sci-fi bullshit trying to murder her son.

Rick seemingly concedes, saying it's Beth's son and while he disagrees, she knows whats best. Beth is skeptical, but takes her father at his word because what's he gonna do, kidnap Morty?

Two weeks later he kidnaps Morty. Morty is not Aware he has been kidnapped, he just thinks they're going on adventures behind Beth's back now, which he's pretty much fine with. He's fine with it until a few days later when he asks when Rick's gonna bring them back home, and he gets brushed off. He keeps asking, and Rick keeps deflecting or outright refusing to engage with the question. Morty digs his heels in after the third week, and Rick finally snaps and explains something along the lines of : He's not going back home, neither of them are, because Beth won't let him leave again with Morty, and Rick won't be without him. It's them against the universe now

Morty tries to reason with him, tries to get Rick to understand that he can't just not go back home. Rick won't hear it.

He could just get a new Morty, one that doesn't have a Beth who actually cares about him. But Rick doesn't want a new Morty, he wants his Morty. Rick isn't used to not getting what he wants.

Meanwhile Beth is tracking Rick and Morty, doing everything in her power to get her son back. She leaves Jerry to look after Summer and goes out into space, she even contacts an intergalactic federation agent to help her find Rick, since they'd be the most likely to have leads. It's hard work and every day that passes makes it more likely she'll never catch up to them, but she can try.

[kaspbrak-tozier-reddie]

"Have you ever been to a birthday party for children/And one of the children won't stop screaming/...There's other people, you selfish asshole!" From Bo Burnham's song, for that quote thing? Also this is for Reddie. Thanks :)

Song: Art is Dead by Bo Burnham

Warnings: slight mentions of homophobia, other than that, just pure fluff.

Send quote/prompt and I’ll write a fic

——————————————————————

With Richie being a hotshot comedian now, his manager had decided it was now time to do a meet and greet. Richie not only now performs his own standup comedy shows but is on Saturday Night Live, does movies and tv shows. 

Having a rocky 2.5 years in the comedy industry, Richie’s new beginning seems promising, even Eddie is thrilled. After all, Eddie is the one that forced Richie to fire his writer and old manager due to homophobic jokes, not being able to come out thus shoving him back into the closest; and had jokes that were far too dry and tasteless that even Richie didn’t laugh. They made Stan’s jokes seem laughable now! So with the help of his boyfriend of 2 years, he and Eddie found a new manager.

“Excited for your debut M&G?” Scotty, Richie’s new manager, asks.

“Oh, heck yes!” Richie exclaims as he sets up his table. “Give me a sec.” Richie spots his boyfriend carrying a large bag that he immediately recognises as Eddie’s first aid bag. “Eds, we don’t need that babe.”

“Uh, yes, yes we do. I can’t get sick and neither can you!” Eddie replies placing the bag behind Richie’s chair. “Do you know how many germs are spread around here?”

“I -” Richie starts.

Richie can feel granddad’s wedding ring shift in his pocket, causing Richie to remember why he even has it in the first place. He carries it with him day in day out, ever since the couple’s 1st anniversary. Knowing that any day could be when he chooses to marry the man he’s been in love with since he was 10. 

“It’s a rhetorical question. Okay, long lines in a confide space, you will. Get. Sick.”

Eddie isn’t wrong, it takes only a couple people with a cold or flu to then infect hundreds more. Keeping a load up of hand-sanitizer on hand is important, he places it where it’s hidden but within Richie’s reach. The entire bag contains multiple bottles of water and fruits; as well as all those important tissues and general first aid kit that has been overly stocked with more bandages, band-aids, gauzes and alcohol wipes than it needs. 

But Richie isn’t nervous for the one on one meet and greet, it’s the actual panel where he’s speaking and Eddie refused to come up on the stage with him. He doesn’t know what he’s meant to do, sure he’s done interviews but it was one person, not hundreds. 

“Richie? You ready?” Scotty asks.

“Yeah.”

“Good, ‘cause it’s showtime.” Eddie stands off to the side and gives him the thumbs up and Richie looks everywhere but the stampede of fans coming in. All the other celebrities at the function are relaxed and getting ready but Richie is ready to puke instead of greeting the fans.

Maybe this was all a mistake, Richie thinks to himself. But he loves his fans, if it wasn’t for Eddie he would be on the list of most hated people around the world. Besides, Derry should be on that said list of places to not visit on account on its outdated teachings. 

His negative thoughts come to a halt as his first fan arrives at his station. It’s awkward, he has no idea what to say or do but nonetheless, he’s still sweet, awkward and charming. 

*

After 15 fans come to his table, he’s finally gotten the hang of it and that would also be 15 uses of the hand sanitizer thanks to his boyfriend’s need for hygiene and germaphobia. 

What Richie didn’t expect was his fans to be of a variety of ages, he’s seen kids as young as 12 come by with their parents in tow. Parents dragging their kids with them, the rare elderly citizens come by and not to mention a few whole families; we’re talking kids, parents and grandparents. Richie is blown away.

He sees a break and quickly looks to Eddie, who sits quietly behind the table out of sight. “Holy shit! This is insane!” Richie whispers, his mouth covered by his hands to not be seen as someone who talks to himself.

Eddie looks up from his book, “That’s great. Also, I was thinking that I come on stage with you.”

“That’s great,” Richie looks back briefly. “Oop, more customers.”

Richie can hear Eddie’s giggle and then it stops and a page flips. He accidentally bumps the ring in his pocket, causing him to jolt. Could this be it?

****

A couple of hours later, Richie finally sets up for the panel, the most important event of the day, according to his manager. “Are you sure Eds, I don’t want to seem like I’m forcing you,” Richie says as he gets hooked up to the sound system.

“I want to, the number of fans asking about me… I couldn’t. Also, don’t call me Eds,” Eddie responds and Richie signals for another mic and third chair is brought out to the stage.

There’s another panic attack bubbling in Richie’s throat and blood, he feels like he’s being smothered, he can feel his pulse around his body and hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears. He instinctively turns to look out at the crowd from behind the curtain and sure enough, there are, at least, 200 people. Every ticket for the panel was sold out, he remembers his manager said. Richie and Eddie are signalled out to the stage and manages to get to the chair without an issue and finally looks to the crowd. 

You can do this, he thinks to himself, I’ve got Eddie with me.

“So Richie, in your Netflix Special, you had stated that you are now writing your own material. Why the change?” The host asks; Richie had never really publically stated why the change but he guesses it’s time everyone knew.

“My old manager thought my jokes were too crass and wouldn’t appeal to anyone. He also claimed that self-deprecating or my gay sex jokes wouldn’t appeal. So he kept me in the closest and gave me jokes that I would never have approved.” Richie doesn’t hold back unleashing all his anger out. “I, of course, sued him and won.”

Cheers of approval echoes through and Richie’s tenseness starts to die down, relaxing into the crowd.

“Right, let’s go into the fan questions.”

Richie looks to Eddie and smiles coyly at him, Eddie returns the favour and gently squeezes Richie’s thigh for support. The two looks back at the crowd and straight up the middle are about 15 people ready to ask questions. “Why did it take you so long to leave that manager?” A fan asks.

“I couldn’t break the contract,” Richie explains. “When we were 2 years fresh out of college I had signed with this man and Eddie had gone into risk analysis. I did one gig and immediately wanted to drop him.”

Richie is about to continue when Eddie cuts him off, bringing the mic to his mouth.

“He knew that I delt with contracts and risks so he asked me to look at it. To put it simply, if he left and signed with someone else, he would’ve been in grave debt where it would’ve been damaging and become a whole legal issue.” 

*

Richie smiles at his boyfriend thinking back to the day that he took the godforsaken contract to the young risk analyst. As Eddie looked over the whole contract, he notices the whole fine print, something he knew that Richie would obviously skim over like every other person. Stan would obviously have 6 fits if he caught Richie doing that but alas Eddie isn’t Stan.

The manager had several writers on hand and Eddie looked every single one of them up and sure enough, each writer had a bad review. This man was going to stop Richie’s career before it even began but after 2 years Richie could opt out without any legal penalties. 

Eddie had explained everything to Richie but that still meant that Richie would have to do whatever they said to not face court. Richie, of course, was heartbroken but that was the way that it had to go. But in the comfort of Eddie’s apartment, he kissed him and Eddie kissed him back until he had pushed Richie away.

“Richie, you’re seeing someone. I can’t -” Eddie had said.

“I don’t care, I like you. Eds, I’m gay and I’m seeing someone against my will,” Richie tries to reason.

“That - that doesn’t matter.”

I broke his heart but he knew that Eddie was right. Natalie was lovely, no matter the circumstance he couldn’t hurt her.

****

“Eddie with Richie being a comedian, have you met any other comedians?” A fan asks Richie’s boyfriend.

“I have actually. Bo Burnham and John Mulaney,” Eddie replies. “In fact, Bo Burnham has a very relatable song called Art is Dead. It’s the epitome of Richie.”

“Oh, how so?” Richie presses. 

Sure he’s met Bo Burnham but he hasn’t really listened to his stand up shows, all he knows is that he makes funny songs. Eddie is often raving about a few of Bo’s songs but that’s about it, Eddie’s never gotten him to actually listen to them.

“Okay, so young Richie was an asshat and that’s just putting it lightly. Anyway, there’s this line, ‘Have you ever been to a birthday party for children, and one of the children won’t stop screaming?’” The crowd laughs, “I can guarantee you that Richie often did this, for all 6 of us and if we were lucky, also his own party, making it all 7.“ 

Richie just starts to laugh knowing full well that it was him as a child, he mouths ‘true’ to the audience, causing more and more laughter before Eddie’s voice starts to echo back through the speakers.

“Richie always craved the attention, as mentioned in the song, but one line that I use often is, ‘There’s other people, you selfish asshole!’“ Richie tries to contain his laughter but he burst and tears start to stream down his face as he laughs the hardest he has in years, from a joke that wasn’t his own. 

Nobody can break him but somehow his boyfriend explaining how Bo Burnham’s song is relatable just makes him burst into tears from laughter. Even Stan’s dry and sarcastic wit wasn’t enough to make him cry, in laughter, when they were kids or even now as adults. It’s physically impossible.

“I hope a lot of you got that on camera, me crying; nobody has been able to do that ever!” Richie exclaims as he wipes away the tears from under his eyes. Now it’s Eddie’s turn to laugh vigorously. 

But at that moment, Richie knows, he knows that the man right beside him, laughing in absolute joy, is the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Normally he’d forget about his granddad’s ring during the day until he got home and has taken his pants off. But now as the thought continues to creep into his brain, the ring feels like it’s burning a hole in his pocket, wanting to escape.

*

“How long have you two been friends for before you got together?” Another fan asks 

“About 3 decades of friendship and 2 years as boyfriends,” Eddie confirms.

“It would’ve been 4 maybe 5 years of being boyfriends if I didn’t have that shitty manager.” In Richie’s peripheral vision, he can see Eddie’s shocked face. “Don’t act surprised, I flirted with you through all of middle school to college.” Eddie laughs as does the crowd.

Richie knows it’s too soon but maybe this is the way it is meant to happen, how he is meant to ask Eddie to marry him. He’d be bloody stupid to not do it when he has known that Eddie is the only one for him ever since Bowers’ cousin in the arcade back when he was 14. 

The ring in his pocket becomes Richie’s main focus, not the fans; if he takes it out… 

“Rich? You good?” Eddie asks.

“Huh? Oh uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” Richie stammers. “Next question.”

“You said that you suffer from anxiety, how do you manage it when you’re on stage?” A young girl asks, she’s probably no more than 16, she fidgets with her fingernails as she speaks and it becomes that she’s nervous.

“Don’t be nervous hun, it’s okay, I am too,” Richie states and the crowd ‘awe’s’ causing Richie to chuckle. “I know if I’m having an anxiety attack and it’s become part of my everyday life so I find it’s best to act as if it’s not there. It’s partially because I’m too lazy to get therapy.”

That’s the truth, any time he gets an anxiety attack he knows he’s not dying especially since Eddie has explained it to him. It’s annoying but therapy is just too bothersome, he has to try to fit it in with his busy schedule and then he’ll probably have to get anti-anxiety pills or anti-depressants to stop the anxiety attacks.

“But, if Eddie is by my side then all my anxiety tends to go away,” Richie finishes and quickly digs into his pocket, fiddling with the ring in his pocket. It’s hidden away from the way he’s sitting which is the important thing.

But he’s unsure of what to do, does he do it now in front of hundreds? Or does he do it later at a restaurant? If he does it now and Eddie says ‘no’ then that’s going to leave an awkward 25 minutes left of the panel. 

He looks back at Eddie. 

“If you ever get married, would you become Richie Kaspbrak or Eddie Tozier or Richie and Eddie Kaspbrak-Tozier?” Richie’s eyes almost pop out of his head, the pain is unbearable, he needs to break, he wants to break but it’s an impulsive move to propose without thinking it through. 

He hasn’t thought of how he would do it.

Hasn’t thought of what he’d say.

“I uh,” Eddie faulters, “100% Eddie Tozier, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Richie chokes on his saliva and bursts into a coughing fit, what the fuck?

“You for real, Eds?” Richie questions, he takes one look at the audience, who are anticipating on what happens next, then back to Eddie. 

“If you’re taking it as a proposal, I don’t thi-” Eddie’s cut off by Richie holding a white gold plated ring. “Are you -” The look in Richie’s eyes is enough for Eddie to take the ring and place it right on his finger. Sure enough, it is, surprisingly a perfect fit.

“Ask him!” Some dude yells from the crowd, a chorus erupts and causes Richie to fall from his chair and onto one knee.

“I know this isn’t a restaurant and is entirely impulsive but it wouldn’t be me if it wasn’t. I love you, have since we were 10, instead of it being hypothetical, will you truly become Edward Tozier? Marry me?”  

“Yes,” Eddie replies pulling Richie up from the floor, the crowd erupts as he kisses Richie’s cheek before sending him back to his own seat. 

“Next question?” Richie says.

[robertdowneyjjr]

RDJ on Off Camera #200: Highlights

excerpts from the interview under the read more

(you can buy the digital magazine with the full transcript here)

On his start as an actor, and getting to a point where he has more confidence in what he does:

[...] what’s important right now is that you know I am mirroring your physicality [points to Sam’s posture in chair], which by the way, I don’t know if I did it consciously or not. Son of a bitch...now I lost my rhythm. A lot of life for me is monkey see monkey do. Whether it’s development, or if you’re in a situation that’s very stressful. Like right now, I think if you took either of our biometrics, we would be in a really sweet zone because we have a love for each other. We’ve also created an ease by doing creative stuff together. We always like the result, but more so, we like the process. Whenever you engage with a new group of people in a process, it’s like you’re going to a new school.

And whatever part of my personality was set, it was fractured enough to be useful in a creative medium, but there’s also a work ethic born out of desperation that I would not wish on an enemy. It was just something that I was outfitted with. No matter how you slice it, as I was learning, going along, making mistakes, and noticing how Michael Apted or John Hughes operate, I would go, “Oh, I like that. That looks like it would feel good to be able to do it like that.”

On making the first Iron Man:

[...] I remember for the screen test, I was playing it a little straighter. There weren’t a bunch of funny lines. I was probably like half out- of-my-body hoping I got the part. And then, in executing the film, we found this tone that was really somewhere between mine, Jon’s, and Kevin [Feige]’s sensibilities. Gwyneth Paltrow would come in and go, “Oh, testosterone fest! Can we talk about what’s true north? What the reality of these relationships are?” And Jon would be like, “That’s right. Everybody stop and listen to her.” There was this great sense of each of us being corralled by passing the talking stick and deferring to each other like any good community. The amalgamation of all those little moments of thoughtfulness and open-mindedness are suddenly what this character is remembered for. I look back on it, and I go, “I don’t know how I did that. I don’t think I was in a good mood that day. I think I was really tired. I think my hair looked ridiculous.” And yet, the great thing about cinema, is you forget all of that as the viewer.

On rebuilding, Chaplin, and mentors:

[...] Which makes me think about the coolest letter I ever got. I won’t say where I was...prison. But I got it from Jodie Foster. This was years after Chaplin had come out, and she wrote me a letter about how relevant Chaplin’s life was. The precision, the dedication, what he had to do to be who he was in the epoch that he was. He was such an innovator, a genius. You can’t not believe that Charlie Chaplin was a genius. Some people would even say that he created pathos in cinema. That’s kind of a big deal. But Jodie wrote me this letter basically reminding me that, like Chaplin, I had already gone through the motions of understanding what kind of personality would preserve in a hostile environment. It was a new version of red scares, the public turning against you, and personal proclivities becoming public and almost damning you.

[...] And by the way, I was looking at an old mugshot of mine recently, and there was a bit of sadness in my eyes. There’s nothing like getting sent up the river, but I was okay. You know, like Figueroa Slim would say, “They got me. They got me, because I was there to be got, and I wasn’t doing the right thing.” And this is life. This can happen in relationships. This can happen at a stop sign with a stranger in a car across from you. You never know.

[...] Some people do things that you think are abhorrent and very difficult to explain. Those outliers are the first people who won’t make it very far if they wind up in a correctional facility, and people find out what they did to get there. But in the larger sense of things, it’s just...that was my life. There was a genetic predisposition. A signal wire got tripped, and once you’ve burned neuropathways repeatedly, it’s no longer a behavior. But I also know this, which gives me great comfort—if you’re fucked up or come from a fucked up family, if you get through it, you’re going to have a better chance of pushing our society forward in some way. It’s just the way it is.

On Saturday Night Live and Anthony Michael Hall:

[...] I came through the Weird Science country academy because a bunch of us met up on that John Hughes film. I was like, “Oh wow, I had a part in that.” I was starting to get a little notice. And then, Michael Hall was doing bigger stuff and making creative decisions about what he wanted the next chapter of his career to be, and we became friends. In a way, he was my first Jon Favreau. He was someone who said to me, “I’m going to go do SNL. I’m going to get you an audition, and I bet you’re going to get yourself on the show too. They’ll be lucky to have us.”

[...] I learned so much in that year about what I wasn’t. I was not somebody who was going to come up with a catchphrase. I was not somebody who’s going to do impressions. I was somebody who was very ill-suited for rapid fire sketch comedy. I was not of that ilk of The Groundlings. I had never been part of an improv group. I was kind of like, “Wow, this seems really hard. A lot of work.” But to this day, I would still say that there’s not a more exciting 90 minutes you could have...whether you are any good or not. It’s just amazing.

[...] In the 90-minute moment, you get such validation not because you’re the standup guy, not because they’re not going to say later on that you were the worst cast member they ever had, which is another lie, but because it’s such a difficult thing to try to pull off. You get a lot of cred just for being able to participate in that real-time stress and excitement.

On life after Marvel:

[...] I had an incredible ten year run that was creatively satisfying. It was very hard work, and I dug very deep. At the same time, you always have to recognize that everything has a price and a downside. For me, it’s that I’ve had to up my game and my focus. Also, first and foremost, having a family. But I have not been forced to explore the new frontier of, “What is my creative and personal life after this?” For me, it’s always good to get ahead of where you’re about to be, because nothing really happens when it happens.

[...] it’s always in the transitions between one phase and the next where people fall apart. So, just as a matter of me wanting to be a fit father, husband, and citizen...you know, roughly in that order, you’ve got to put eyes down the road and say, “I’m being irresponsible if I don’t start figuring out what is after that.” So, part of it is that there’s a dependency.

[...] The first thing you learn in theater arts is aesthetic distance. I am not this play I’m doing. I’m not Will from Oklahoma. I’m not that cop in a detective story.  [...] So for me, it just translates to this: I’m not my work. I’m not what I did with that studio. I’m not that period of time that I spent playing this character.

[...] the good boy note is not that I want to do what’s expected of me, it’s that I listen to feedback, and while that’s not what guides my decision making process, I sometimes get a little daunted. People are like, “Well, now that he’s done with this Iron Man thing, we look forward to what he’s going to do next and see him get back to...” And I go, “Alright, wait a minute. Does the good boy revert back to something he was doing before that, because that’s what people...?” No, what do they really mean?

On Susan:

[...] You want to talk about validation, mentors, and people who have been with me at critical times. I mentioned some male directors. All of them together could not hold a candle to the power of partnership, when you find somebody and without meaning to you just get each other. And then, you cash in all your chips and say, “We’re going to do this difficult thing, which is called relationship building and being in the same industry.” All that stuff. But it’s the greatest mystery in life, you know. All creativity is about the right relationship.

[...] Between the two of us, there’s been this creative engine of dialogue and discussion. For me, just self-betterment, because she’s the only person in my entire life and career who I can nail it on a take, and I look over at the monitor, and she’s just like, “You had gum. Take your gum out,” or whatever. It’s not that she doesn’t give me validation. She doesn’t do what everyone else has done; she doesn’t think I need to be taken care of, validated, compensated for. I need to this and that.

[...] Here’s what I’ll say. This is it, dude. This is definitive. If anything, movies saved my life, because she saw me in Weird Science. And at the time, I had a space between my teeth, and she had a space between her teeth. We wound up both getting them filled in, because that’s what you did in the late ‘80s. Everybody had to get their gaps filled or nobody was going to like you. But she looked at me in Weird Science, and her first thought of me was, “Oh my god, he’s like me! He has a space between his teeth. It’s okay that I have a space between my teeth.”

[huntresscaraquinn]

Cara shook her head, admitting, “I don’t believe in luck. Or fate. And what I do know about higher powers...” She trailed off, shaking her head again before adding, “But I have always been a romantic at heart. I grew up on Jane Austen novels where everyone finds the right person for them, and there’s always a wedding at the end. ...You’re my Jane Austen novel ending. You’re my - well, most would say Mr. Darcy because he’s the most well-known, but I much preferred Captain Wentworth...” Her smile turned sheepish, “Sorry, I’m book rambling, but that’s how I see you - that chance at romance, at love that I thought I would never get, that I thought was impossible after Analiese. And you’re right, we’re not conventional by any means, but we still work. We still fit, and that’s all that matters.” She burrowed her face against his chest as he kissed her head, and wrapped his arms around her, murmuring, “I love you, superhero.”

Cara pulled back to look up at him, insisting, “You can blame them. You’re not a prisoner of HYDRA’s anymore, and the work that you did in Wakanda freed you from their hold. I understand playing by their rules for a specified amount of time, proving you’re a standup citizen or whatever if it’s a trade-off. If it means you will eventually be left alone to live how you choose. Otherwise... It’s not fair. Because you deserve to not have eyes on you all the time. You deserve true freedom.” And if they needed to plot out a way to make sure he was going to attain that, if they needed to work on a plan with the government, or the Avengers, or even with Wakanda’s backing, she was all for it. She wasn’t going to stand idly by and watch him be passed from one ‘handler’ to the next. It was grotesque. His comment about the curtains brought her out of her thoughts, and she nodded, “That should narrow down our color choices, making things easier on us. So curtains or grocery shopping first?” She then shook her head, laughing, “It doesn’t work like that. You can’t replicate Chicago pizza in New York. Bet you make your hot dogs wrong here, too...”

He knew why their paths crossed in the literal sense, understood that she'd followed him because she'd seen that he was being followed and had wanted to help him. But that wasn't what he meant. There were a few billion people in the world, and she'd managed to be on the same street as him on the day that would lead her to approach him. He didn't believe in fate, or that there was some higher power orchestrating every move he took, but the fact that they'd managed to find each other had to count for something, right? "I know that. I just mean...I don't know. I guess it was luck that you were at the right place at the right time." But he wasn't going to lose sleep over the what-ifs and how-comes. "I don't think whoever came up with what love means brought demonic possession and brainwashing into consideration, but I think we're on the right path." Which was to say he agreed with her. He wasn't sure what love was really supposed to be, but he knew what he had with her, and he thought that was love. He was pretty damn sure it was, actually, whether it fit any definition or not. She put her arms around her, and he kissed her head, putting his own arms around her. "You're all I need," he assured.

He appreciated her care in asking, he supposed, but he didn't need her to be. He didn't think she had any intention of cruelty. So he nodded, exhaling a soft breath. "Yeah. I mean, I think the point is that one day we trust each other enough for them to let me live my life, and it's not like I'm comparing this to being under Hydra for so long, but...I'm tired of living with people's eyes on me. Maybe they'll always keep a tab on me, and I guess I can't blame them, but I never asked for this." He never asked to be a superhero, even if the nickname made him smile. He would much rather worry about curtains. "Good point," he said. He wasn't nocturnal, of course, but the regularity of his schedule right now surely wouldn't last forever, and at some point he--and certainly she, too--would need to get some sleep during the day, and that meant blackout curtains. "We'll go with blackout." He smiled, allowing her to pull away from him as she did, arms falling to his side. "All you have to do is go out there and ask around Brooklyn where the best Chicago style pizza is. You do that, and I'll go with you."

[nobszone]

Y’know, I was hoping we could avoid this. I was hoping that considering all the positive vibes coming from the left that we could avoid this lazy narrative.

But, I can always count on my “friend” Michael Moore to stir the pot.

Not that I’m shocked by the reaction here from Michael, or from the left in general. It’s really become their shtick as of late. When people vote the way they want them to, it’s “democracy.” When people don’t vote they way they want them to, it’s “extremism” or “Russian hacking.” And sure, the right does this as well, but people don’t take them as serious since apparently right wing extremism is more dangerous now than left wing extremism (despite most of recent history suggesting otherwise).

Look I don’t live in Alabama so I’m not going to act like I know the ins and outs of this election or what particular issues were important to voters and it would be irresponsible for me to pretend that I did know. 

What I do know is that Doug Jones seems like a pretty standup guy. He was appointed as District Attorney by President Clinton and jailed two KKK members for the 1963 Baptist Church bombing, and indicted Eric Rudolph, the Olympic Park bomber. Unsurprisingly he’s very big on Civil Rights and used the recent incident at Charlottesville as an example of the need to tackle ongoing race relations in this country. While he opposes the GOP’s tax plan, he also supports reduction of corporate taxes and no tax increases. He also supports the ACA but says the health care industry as a whole needs to be fixed.

He calls himself a Moderate Democrat, and it certainly seems like it. He’s actually the kind of Dem that I might vote for.

And in the other corner, we have Roy Moore. This is a guy who has called America an “evil empire” for “exporting homosexuality”, has said we really don’t need any Constitutional amendments besides the Bill of Rights, says teaching the theory of Evolution has resulted in more drive-by shootings, was Chief Justice of Alabama’s supreme court until he was told to fuck off for trying to block gay marriage after SCOTUS legalized it, that 9/11 was punishment by God (and, for that matter, so was Sandy Hook), and he’s also a big fan of Comrade Pooty-Poot.

Oh and there’s also the whole Sexual Harassment thing, in which several women accused Moore of engaging in inappropriate behavior with them, including one who claimed to be sexually assaulted by Moore when she was 14 (the age of consent in Alabama is 16).

I mean, who would vote for a guy like that, right?

Well, apparently, 650,436 people would.

Let’s be clear. For all of his outrageous statements, Moore wasn’t some buffoon like Trump. This guy was actually smart. He was charismatic, he was articulate, he knew how to win despite all the stuff against him.

And thank God he didn’t, because if he did then all we’d hear for the next 11 months from the left would be endless diatribes about “extremism” and “nationalism.” So I guess, instead, we’ll have to settle for the typical narrative of “white people.”

But either way, it still doesn’t address the problem.

Hey, Michael, buddy, pal, here’s a fucking thought. You’re a smart guy, hell you went on TV the day after the election last year to explain why you were the first person to predict Trump was going to win.

So why not put that brain of yours to fucking use? Why not look at why people are voting for these candidates, instead of writing tweets with John-Oliver-tier self-righteousness?

If Roy Moore really is a hard-right homophobic creationist extremist who can’t keep his dick in his pants (and I’m not saying he isn’t), then why did he still manage to get over 48% of the vote?

Why did 63% of White Women say that a man who has multiple allegations of sexual harassment (and one allegation of statutory rape) against him was their desired choice to represent Alabama in the Senate?

Well if your name is Michael Moore, or Rachel Maddow, or Hillary Clinton or Shaun King, or if your Twitter handle contains the word “RESIST” your response is probably something along these lines:

“Because they’re all racists/sexists/idiots and I’m not prepared to engage with someone who could even consider voting for Moore, or Trump, or the GOP in general.”

Well, you got away with it tonight. But only by the skin of your teeth.

1.7% of the vote was write-in candidates. Which means that if 22,819 don’t vote for Nick Saban, Moore might actually win, or at least force a recount.

You can’t rely on that come next November.

Look, I’ve been telling you Dems all year now. 2018 is set up for you to destroy the GOP. With this victory tonight, their majority in the Senate is now down to two seats. This means that you could, theoretically, win a majority in BOTH houses. Donald Trump could be made a lame duck in just under 11 months.

But you need to change the way you deal with the American people.

You need to accept that not everyone who votes GOP is a xenophobic bigot.

You need to accept that not everyone who voted for Trump is a literal Nazi.

If that’s still your analysis of America’s political landscape come next November, YOU LOSE.

And you know what? Republicans need to learn this as well. I mean sure it’s not like we have an election staked on this belief, but it’s never a bad thing to learn.

You republicans need to accept that not everyone who voted for Obama hated white people.

You need to accept that not everyone who voted for Clinton hated men.

You need to accept that not everyone who votes Democrat (or just opposes Trump) is a Communist that hates America.

It’s too fucking easy to berate people for voting the “wrong way.” It’s fucking LAZY.

Those 650,436 people in Alabama did nothing more than exercise their democratic right as citizens, just as 63 million Americans did last November.

And the left has the audacity to berate them for voting “the wrong way.” 

Well, it didn’t work in November. It barely worked tonight. Had literally any other Republican run beside more, Alabama wouldn’t have its first Democratic Senator in 25 years. 

So maybe instead of spending the next year calling these people “Nazi’s” or “redneck’s” or “deplorables”, why not ask them why they vote for people like Donald Trump or Roy Moore.

Because by doing that, you’ll actually learn what they want, as American citizens.

And then, and only then, will you be in a position to offer something better.

[96thdayofrage]

Bill Cosby Should Have Been Denounced by Black America Long Ago

The following article was authored by Glen Ford when he was editor of The Black Commentator .

Bill Cosby’s Confused Notions of ‘Responsibility’

The Black Commentator, June 3, 2004

Bill Cosby has some nerve talking about “personal responsibility.” On May 17, with no warning, the 67-year-old multimillionaire comedian ambushed three venerable Black organizations – the NAACP, the NAACP Legal Defense and Education Fund, and Howard University – fatally disrupting a gala celebration of the 50th anniversary of the Brown desegregation decision. Cosby drew from the hip (or the lip) to spray the hall with generalized insults against people who weren’t even there: the Black poor who, he said, “are not holding up their end in this deal.”

Apparently, Cosby thinks he is one of the deal-makers, and that he’s been cheated. The mostly Black, tuxedoed attendees at Washington’s Constitution Hall, forced to bear witness to Cosby’s tirade, were also to blame “in this deal” since they had collectively failed to sufficiently call the “lower economic people” to account for their “personal responsibility” deficits.

Not once did it occur to “Cos” that he owed his immediate and larger audience the benefit of a well-prepared presentation. Dr. Cosby saw no need to buttress his rant with a single reliable fact, nor to provide a coherent structure for his argument, so that reasonable people might arrive at some useful conclusions. Instead, he played the elderly “shock jock,” frothing and flailing away, spewing a sewer of abuse that, if directed against other ethnic groups, would be considered blood libels. (See a compilation of “Cosbyisms” at the end of this essay.)

The super-successful entertainer, famed for his practiced timing and flawless delivery, the evangelist of education – the discipline in which he received his Ph.D. – displayed an utter disrespect for his audience and for the august occasion of the anniversary. His extended outburst, presented without the evident benefit of even the most rudimentary preparation, was a gross violation of professional and personal discipline – an affront Cosby would never commit against a half-drunk nightclub crowd, much less the corporate and university audiences he regularly addresses. Yet he gave free rein to his inner demons in front of a throng of African Americans at Constitution Hall on the anniversary of Brown.

The irresponsible icon

Icons always have apologists; Cosby has a media-full. Black people who should be insulted, instead make excuses for Cosby’s shameful, impulsive, totally uninhibited behavior that, in a non-icon, would invite suspicions of substance abuse.

USA Today’s Black columnist DeWayne Wickham – normally a smart fellow – sugarcoats Cosby’s bile as “talking black” – as if Black discussions of public policy, including subjects as momentous as the Fate of the Race, are by definition devoid of substance, structure, precision or logic. A similar exculpatory current runs through most corporate newspaper columns penned by Black writers in the wake of the Cosby abomination.

Amazingly, the out-of-control, grotesquely self-indulgent comedian was roundly praised for his “courage” in confronting the supposed Black phobia against “airing dirty linen” in public, i.e., within hearing distance of whites. How perverse and ironic! Much of the Black talking classes forgive Cosby’s clear lack of a sense of “personal responsibility” and elementary decorum, precisely because to do otherwise would risk diminishing a Black icon – in front of white people! Better to let Cosby’s insults to African Americans, slide.

And since when was it an act of courage to badmouth poor Black people in America?

By simple standards of civility Cosby is guilty of an extreme lapse in “personal responsibility” by dint of his behavior to his audience and to the millions of people he slandered. More to the point, Cosby doesn’t know the meaning of the term – and neither do most of the Black chatterers who have been bandying it about.

Role Model mogul

What do the various political actors mean by “personal responsibility?” Certainly, we know that in the mouths of Republicans and their Black camp followers “personal responsibility” is a code for what people are told to exercise when the state refuses to see to the general welfare of its non-rich citizens. We know that song. But what does Cosby mean, and why are otherwise progressive Black writers and politicians bending over backwards to find ways to agree with him?

An enormous vacuity surrounds the Black discussion over Cosby’s remarks. People rush to say “yes” to a term, the definition of which is not necessarily shared or understood. Where does “personal responsibility” end and “social responsibility” begin? If a comedian turned demagogue can hector a substantial portion of a race of people to behave as he (vaguely) commands, then surely he is talking politics, not just giving advice to individuals. Cosby’s politics are in fact rooted on the conservative side of the Black spectrum – that is, when he is being coherent at all.

The Chicago Tribune’s Clarence Page recalls:

”Cosby was saying the same thing backstage when I interviewed him during my college days. It was 1968, but he didn't want to talk about black power, Black Panthers or cultural revolutions. He wanted to complain about why so many young blacks of my generation were wasting the great opportunities that hard-won civil rights victories had brought us. In those politically polarized times, I was disappointed by his traditionalist attitude. But I appreciate its wisdom today with new eyes, the eyes of a parent.”

Actually, Page appreciates Cosby with the “new” eyes of a highly paid corporate journalist who finds enough common ground with white conservatives to appear regularly on shows like The McLaughlin Group.

Thirty-two years later, Cosby was still urging young people on campus to be politically passive. At Franklin & Marshall College in Lancaster, Pennsylvania in May, 2000, he warned students:

”Those of you going to grad school, listen to me carefully… I know you have an idea of how you want to make a change in the world. That is not what grad school is for. Do what they tell you to do and then when you graduate, do what you want to do. That is what grad school is for. If you're gonna argue with the professor you're going to not get a good grade, you're not going to graduate in grad school. Okay? So take your young idea, study what they want you to study, kick tail and then when you get your turn to write your dissertation then you tell it the way it ought to be told.

”It is not for you to stand up and argue… You get an A on all the tests and then, make your move.”

By that, Cosby meant, make your personal career move. Don’t dabble in campus politics, or challenge the orthodoxy of those in power at the institution. Shut up.

Because of men and women who shared Cosby’s worldview, many Black college campuses were relatively quiet during the Civil Rights Movement, a silence enforced by Black administrators who did not hesitate to expel students and fire faculty who sought any change whatsoever in the status quo, on or off campus. Later in the Sixties, Blacks on white college campuses tended to be significantly more activist than students at traditionally Black schools, largely because they were not smothered by a “tradition” hostile to mass Black political activity.

Cosby advocates a neutered Black politics of individual striving within the parameters that are allowed by those in power. He projects his own, self-invented persona as a “role model” for African Americans to follow as individuals, while rejecting collective action to alter power relationships. His message: Each of you people should do as I did. Cosby’s method is derived from a long line of accommodationist Negro leaders whose message was the equivalent of, “Eat your Jell-O.”

Ironically, the young Cosby did not follow traditionalist counsel. He dropped out of college to pursue the wildly perilous career of Black standup comedian in a largely segregated America. Had he failed as a comic – as the odds overwhelmingly dictated – without a good education he might not have been able to buy his mother a fine house far from the projects where he grew up. Luckily, Cosby the dropout didn’t listen to people like – Cosby.

Spurned, vengeful benefactor

Cosby bucked the odds, but never the system. His job was to become a Role Model for a Black presence within the existing order. Once that was accomplished, he added a make-believe family to the Model: the Huxtables. Writer Khalil Tian Shahyd “wasn’t surprised at all” at the tone of Cosby’s Constitution Hall remarks:

After all, for more than a decade he presented us every Thursday with what he thought the ideal African-American family should look like. That we should listen to jazz, and have people like BB King come into our home for dinner and invite us to sit front row at his shows. Take weekend trips by limo to the most expensive hotel in the city for dinner and pampering just to treat our partners to a day without the children. Live in a big house with not one neighbor of color, where our children shave their heads to appear in a skin head rock video and are sheltered from the real world of zero sum politics, gentrification, under-funded and abandoned school districts, swelling prison populations, racial profiling, economic marginalization, domestic abuse and all those specifically “poverty based social ills.”

In addition to making Cosby a lot richer, the TV show proved that a Black-cast show could hold white people’s attention in prime time for multiple seasons. This was considered a great victory. The ideal Black Role Model – Cosby himself, or the self he created – was now the entire nation’s Role Model for Black people. Heady stuff.

Role Model Politics is nearly as emotion-laden as cult-of-personality politics – and just as divorced from reality. The Role Model is, by definition, the template of righteousness and progress. Those who fail to follow the Role Model’s path are rejecting the Model’s persona. No wonder Cosby goes ballistic at poor Black people’s behavior – or what he imagines that behavior to be. He takes it personally. It’s as if “those people” are all playing the “dozens” at his expense. How else to explain the explosive vitriol of Cosby’s Constitution Hall performance?

However, Cosby’s inability to perceive that he is obligated as a matter of “personal responsibility” to atone for his blanket verbal assaults, is his personal problem. It is far more worrisome that so many Black opinion molders harbor similar attitudes towards politics and the poor. Cosby showed his ass, but the same ill winds are blowing through the spaces in lots of Black skulls in high places. Deep down, they value other Black people little, and trust them less. They would rather celebrate virtual social mobility (the “Huxtables”) than fight for the material resources that bring the possibility of dignity to millions. They see more virtue in a millionaire parting with a fraction of his money – although never enough to risk falling out of wealth – than in the selfless work of thousands of community organizers and activists who are motivated by a sense of both personal and social responsibility.

Dr. King and Malcolm X and Fred Hampton died in a social struggle to empower Black people. Cosby demonizes these same people, employing the enemy’s language, like some vengeful, spurned benefactor. Yet much of Black media pretend not to see the throbbing ugliness in their icon, thus calling into question their own fitness. In the face of a brazen assault on the human dignity of African Americans, they equivocate – or join in the mass lynching. Mimicking racists, they impose yet another burden on the already super-disadvantaged Black poor. As Paul Street wrote in the April 8 issue of :

”The harsh material and structural-racist reality of American society interacts with timeworn, victim-blaming ruling-class explanations of poverty to play an ugly game on the nation’s most truly disadvantaged. They are expected to magically leap beyond their social-historical circumstances – to exercise an inordinately high degree of sound personal responsibility just to keep their heads above water – while others are structurally empowered to “pass Go and collect $2 million” without such exercise, and indeed to deepen the well of black disadvantage.”

If huge numbers of Black people could be drawn together to figure out precisely how we have failed each other, that would be one helluva “social responsibility” conversation. But the Bill Cosbys of the community cannot be allowed to hog the microphone, just because they may have paid for it. As journalist-educator-lawyer-activist Lizz Brown says, “That doesn’t give him license.”

In truth, we can’t afford Bill Cosby anymore. He costs more than he gives.

Bill Cosbyisms

Cosby on the Black poor:

"Lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids – $500 sneakers for what? And won't spend $200 for 'Hooked on Phonics.' "

Cosby on Black youth culture:

"People putting their clothes on backwards: Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong? ... People with their hats on backwards, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something, or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up? Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up to the crack and got all type of needles [piercings] going through her body? What part of Africa did this come from? Those people are not Africans; they don't know a damn thing about Africa."

Cosby on civil rights:

"Brown versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem. We have got to take the neighborhood back. We have to go in there – forget about telling your child to go into the Peace Corps – it is right around the corner. They are standing on the corner and they can't speak English."

Cosby on literacy:

"Basketball players – multimillionaires – can't write a paragraph. Football players – multimillionaires – can't read. Yes, multimillionaires. Well, Brown versus Board of Education: Where are we today? They paved the way, but what did we do with it? That white man, he's laughing. He's got to be laughing: 50 percent drop out, the rest of them are in prison."

Cosby on poor Black women:

"Five, six children – same woman – eight, 10 different husbands or whatever. Pretty soon you are going to have DNA cards to tell who you are making love to. You don't know who this is. It might be your grandmother. I am telling you, they're young enough! Hey, you have a baby when you are 12; your baby turns 13 and has a baby. How old are you? Huh? Grandmother! By the time you are 12 you can have sex with your grandmother, you keep those numbers coming. I'm just predicting."

Cosby on the sons and daughters of poor, Black, unmarried mothers:

"…with names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed [!] and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.

Cosby on Blacks shot by police:

"These are not political criminals. These are people going around stealing Coca-Cola. People getting shot in the back of the head over a piece of pound cake and then we run out and we are outraged, [saying] 'The cops shouldn't have shot him.' What the hell was he doing with the pound cake in his hand?"

The Black Commentator June 3, 2004

[ramajmedia]

Tim Burton's 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes

There aren’t many directors who are known to the general moviegoing public, because they’re mostly unseen, but when a filmmaker comes along with a clear and unique vision that stands out, audiences tend to notice. That’s how it went with Tim Burton, a former Disney animator who has gone on to become the first name in gothic cinema.

RELATED: Dumbo 2019 Changes: How Disney's Remake Tries To "Fix" The Original

Drawing inspiration from the German expressionist period and collaborating with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter so much that it’s become a joke, Burton has built one of the best-remembered careers in Hollywood. Here are Tim Burton’s 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes.

10 Batman Returns (78%)

Richard Donner might have created the superhero blockbuster with 1978’s Superman: The Movie, but Tim Burton created the dark superhero blockbuster with 1989’s Batman. He then followed it up with an even better sequel, 1992’s Batman Returns.

Michael Keaton continues to be the definitive big-screen Batman in the sequel, deepening the psychology of Bruce Wayne as a guy who moonlights as a masked vigilante, while Michelle Pfeiffer and Danny DeVito provide a brilliant double-whammy of villains as Catwoman and the Penguin, respectively. (This set the template for each subsequent Batman movie to have two villains – Warner Bros. hasn’t looked back since.)

9 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (83%)

Tim Burton might seem like an odd choice for an adaptation of Roald Dahl’s children’s book classic Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but at least his quirky, bleak, gothic visual style helped to differentiate this version from the previous version starring Gene Wilder.

Johnny Depp played a Willy Wonka that was weirder than ever and Burton gave the factory an unusual steampunk look that made the film a dark alternative to its predecessor. It wasn’t as good as the original adaptation, and Wilder himself thought as much, but it was still a dazzling, sumptuous, compelling work of big-budget cinema.

8 TIE: Corpse Bride (84%)

If there’s one specific type of movie that has Tim Burton’s personal stamp all over it, it’s spooky, horror-tinged stop-motion animated movies with supernatural themes and elements of both comedy and romance. A terrific example of this from Burton’s repertoire is Corpse Bride.

It has all the makings of a great Burton movie – Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter in the lead roles (with Christopher Lee as a supporting character), a bleak visual tone, a paranormal storyline, a musical score by Danny Elfman – and it has the follow-through to give it some legs. In some ways, this is the quintessential Burton film.

7 TIE: Beetlejuice (84%)

If Tim Burton made Beetlejuice today, there’s no doubt that he’d cast Johnny Depp in the title role, so it’s a good thing he made it in 1988, before his collaborations with Depp began, because Michael Keaton was born to play this character (and Batman and Riggan Thomson).

RELATED: The 10 Greatest Lines From Beetlejuice

He’s a gifted actor with an eccentric line delivery and a comic wit honed during his background in standup comedy. And he has the Betelgeuse look, because even under that makeup, it’s all in the eyes. A sequel to Beetlejuice has been mooted for years and it’s looking like it’ll never get made, which is a real shame.

6 Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (85%)

It can be tough to make musicals work nowadays, because there were a ton of them in the ‘50s and then the genre died out like the Western did, or like the superhero blockbuster will. And it’s even tougher to make a musical work when its plot involves a barber who slits his customers’ throats and then bakes them into pies to serve to the public.

But if there’s anyone who could pull off that delicate combination of genres, it’s Tim Burton, and that’s exactly what he did with this grisly screen translation of Stephen Sondheim’s musical starring his regular collaborators Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter.

5 TIE: Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (87%)

It might seem as though a Pee-wee Herman movie is a million miles away from the kind of work Tim Burton does, and in many ways, that is true. But this was Burton’s feature film debut, back when he didn’t have the freedom to pick and choose projects (when no one knew what a typical Tim Burton movie was), and it turned out surprisingly well for a movie that doesn’t suit his vision.

In a ludicrous parody of the Italian neorealist classic Bicycle Thieves, Pee-wee searches high and low for his missing bike. This simplistic premise led to some timeless slapstick gags.

4 TIE: Frankenweenie (87%)

This was a feature-length adaptation of one of Tim Burton’s earliest animated shorts, which went by the same title. In a spoof of the Mary Shelley gothic classic that its title paraphrases, Frankenweenie tells the story of a young boy mourning the loss of his dog who uses a risky scientific experiment to bring his beloved pet back to life.

As a black-and-white stop-motion animated movie, it wasn’t a huge box office success, because that style isn’t to every modern moviegoer’s tastes, but it’s a delightful, heartfelt yarn with an important message for kids about dealing with the death of a pet.

3 Edward Scissorhands (90%)

Based on a drawing that Tim Burton made as a bright-eyed teenager with ambitions to tell stories, Edward Scissorhands is a heartfelt and very personal suburban tale. The bright, sunny Californian neighborhood in which it’s set contrasts nicely with Burton’s bleak tone.

RELATED: The 10 Most Memorable Tim Burton Characters, Ranked

In many ways, all of Burton’s films are fairy tales (that’s certainly where his influences come from – disturbing stories dressed up with sentiment), but this one is the closest he’s come to a modern fairy tale. Johnny Depp plays the title character, a pale-skinned weirdo with blades for fingers, and the message is clear, simple, and warm: it’s okay to be different, and not all monsters are scary.

2 Ed Wood (92%)

This biopic of the titular director, shot in the same black-and-white format as his best-known films, presents a relationship that is familiar to Tim Burton. The relationship shared by hotshot young filmmaker Ed Wood and his has-been idol Bela Lugosi in the film mirrors Burton’s relationship with his own childhood hero, Vincent Price.

Ed Wood bombed at the box office – because, let’s face it, black-and-white movies about film directors hardly anyone has heard of don’t tend to make a fun Friday night at the multiplex – but it was acclaimed by critics. There’s a comic element in the fact that Wood saw his own movies as Citizen Kane whereas they were reviewed as the worst films ever made.

1 The Nightmare Before Christmas (95%)

If you need any evidence of the existence of karma, look at the fact that Tim Burton has screwed up two of Disney’s animated classics in the Mouse House’s ongoing onslaught of live-action remakes – 2010’s Alice in Wonderland and 2019’s Dumbo – and now, the studio is planning one for Burton’s own classic Disney ‘toon, The Nightmare Before Christmas.

The stop-motion animated original is one of the most beloved holiday movies of all time. Everything works in tandem – the visual palette complements the plot, the animation style complements the musical numbers, the characters complement the message etc. – to make a fantastic movie.

NEXT: The Coen Brothers' 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes

source https://screenrant.com/tim-burton-best-movies-according-rotten-tomatoes/

[jimmyraleigh]

When Louis C.K. tipped onstage unannounced Sunday evening at the Comedy Cellar, just nine months after confessing to sexual misbehavior, he triggered a furious discussion over whether his resurgence was ahead of time or tone deaf. But in the club scene, where he forged his track record as a master stand-up, experts are recognizing an awkward truth: He has a sizable base of support among proprietors and also bookers of several renowned performance areas who would certainly be happy to have him back. On top of that, some comedians are defending him as well.

" We would, at this point, allow Louis have stage time," Gina Savage, the general supervisor of the West Side Comedy Club in New York City, said in a phone interview. "I've known him many years. My communications have actually been only specialist, which isn't to claim I excuse any type of element of what he did. However I do rely on my heart of hearts, he is sorry."

Al Martin, the proprietor of Broadway Comedy Club as well as one more club in Greenwich Village, claimed in a meeting that he would certainly additionally include Louis C.K. in a lineup: "What he did was wrong, as the papa of three children. When I became aware of it, I said it was wrong."

Nevertheless, he continued, "He was ridiculed in the eyes of a lot of individuals. I believe he's truly paid a rather significant rate."

Louis Faranda, the skill booker for Carolines on Broadway, the Midtown club that is a constant host to A-list stand-ups, likewise told TMZ that he would certainly welcome him.

As for comics, the "Saturday Night Live" celebrity Michael Che said in a series of blog posts on Instagram that were the subject of an intense reaction, "i have no idea any of his accusers. i have no idea just what hes done to right that scenario, as well as its none of my company. however i do think any cost-free individual has a right to speak as well as earn a living." (Mr. Che declined to be interviewed for this article.).

Similarly, the comic Michael Ian Black revealed his assistance on Twitter for Louis C.K., a position that was additionally promptly criticized: "I don't know if it's been long sufficient, or his profession will recuperate, or if individuals will certainly have him back, yet I'm pleased to see him try," he composed.

He asked forgiveness on Wednesday, claiming this position was "inevitably, not defensible." (An agent for Mr. Black didn't react to an ask for remark.).

In November, 5 women, all comedy colleagues, described in The New York Times episodes of improper conduct by Louis C.K., consisting of instances in which he masturbated before them. His television manufacturing deals were ended, and the launch of his film, "I Love You, Daddy," that included a series with actions similar to his real-life transgression, was terminated.

In a declaration at the time in which he confessed that "these stories are true," he claimed, "I will now go back and also take a long time to pay attention." The established on Sunday, inning accordance with the Comedy Cellar's proprietor, Noam Dworman, entailed "common Louis C.K. stuff," consisting of bits on racism, waitresses' ideas and parades. If he had actually obtained understanding from his time away from the phase, he didn't say so. Doubters, consisting of fellow comics like Paul F. Tompkins, questioned why not, especially provided Louis C.K.'s track record for self-deprecation to the point of discomfort.

" He made a career from welcoming the awkward. Unexpectedly this is beyond his powers to deal with?" Mr. Tompkins claimed in an e-mail, adding, "Where is the proof that he cares in all to retrieve himself? That he understands what he did was incorrect? That he has learned anything? That he has attempted to pay for his abuses with more than an enforced vacation? Program me.".

Still, various other funny citizens offered him the benefit of the question. Ms. Savage said not resolving his misbehavior "could have been an oversight.".

That he decreased in unannounced on Sunday was also a much reviewed topic among those gotten in touch with the scene. In New York City funny, it is notoriously tough for comics, particularly up-and-comers, to locate stage time at respectable clubs. Numerous have to depend on bringer shows-- that is, they need to turn out a minimum number of audience members prior to they could get behind the mic. Kathy Griffin, in a message on Twitter, stated this specifically influences females and minority stand-ups. "And Louis simply reaches glide back know his very own terms?" Ms. Griffin composed. "Gosh, does it payoff to be in the boys club ... the white kids club.".

Yet some gatekeepers have a different view. Many funny programs are separately produced and also the manufacturers run at the whim of proprietors that should generate buzz-- and ticket sales-- for their club.

" I have to place him on since that's what the proprietors are mosting likely to want to do," said Ray Gootz, a professional comic who creates numerous weekly shows around the city and has typically invited drop-ins. "At a club, the proprietors are going to want to place him up due to the fact that there's still loan to be made with him and also he's still a name. The various other point is he's one of the best comics of perpetuity.".

Mr. Gootz included, however, that if he were a club proprietor, he would not let Louis C.K. onstage. "There's many comedians," he stated. "I simply really feel that somebody who messed up this bad, regardless of exactly how good they are, there's no reason to keep using him.".

Derek Humphrey, another comedian and manufacturer that puts on a program called "Bushwick Bears" in Brooklyn weekly, claimed he would not enable Louis C.K. to visit. (Full disclosure: This press reporter has executed standup on shows created by Mr. Humphrey and Mr. Gootz, along with at Carolines on Broadway and the Broadway Comedy Club.).

" I 'd have to say no at this moment," Mr. Humphrey said. "I don't assume that the 9 or 10 months he has actually experienced has actually been the proper atonement." Yet he included a caution: "If he reached out to us at our program as well as claimed, 'Hey, I'm doing this brand-new product about everything that's been going on in my life and also I wish to discuss it. Can I have a forum?' For sure.".

Whether Louis C.K. agrees to do that is unclear-- a representative did not reply to an ask for remark. A Los Angeles comic, Jenny Yang, posted a number of recommendations on Tuesday on just what a course to satisfaction could appear like. Amongst them: Privately asking forgiveness to all the sufferers, and "if these survivors are still executing funny or perhaps if they are not, guarantee that they obtain jobs, programs, and also stage time for as long as they require with your considerable network of gatekeepers.".

Ms. Yang also stated that Louis C.K. must "take a full accounting of all the earnings these survivors missed had they hypothetically continued their profession trajectories without your enablers. Pay them that amount.".

If there's any occupation that would easily permit a comeback in the #MeToo age, it's stand-up. In the end, Louis C.K. doesn't truly require a studio greenlight or a network offer; he just needs a microphone as well as a room to work in, Mr. Tompkins kept in mind.

" He could absolutely make a living doing standup again, as this programs," Mr. Tompkins stated. "He could do funny clubs and also he can go back to movie theaters, I'm certain. He can launch his very own specials also if Netflix or HBO don't want to lug them. I believe he has a genuine possibility to change his life and also the lives of other individuals right, to be an example that individuals can change if they intend to, yet this set does not suggest to me that he's goinged in this way.".

[hevensowner-blog]

Publishing some sort of Proposal Without Losing Head

Publishing a good sized proposal can sound an absurdly Herculean process. Conceptualizing, writing, updating, formatting, and producing a 1, 500-page page with 120 artwork? In 30 days to weeks? Doesn't seem probable. But it happens on a regular basis.

And there's that rub. Proposal stores (the publishing people, often embedded with large corporations, that manage a lot of these monster productions) are generally notorious for functioning staff and subcontractors ragged within a 20-hour-a-day race to create and deliver these documents before its due. The long a long time, the rate with burnout, and the amount of disorder in a lot of these environments are well-known.

As a proposal editor< along with the editorial manager with Computer Sciences Businesses (CSC) proposal submission group for several years, I oversaw that publication of good sized, complex, high-quality plans under extremely limited deadlines. But my company and I were able to avoid the standard angst because people cultivated a a certain number of, organized production natural environment. You can practice it, too.

Along using my lessons figured out, here's advice to get a saner process from all very reputable proposal experts in the flooring buisingess: from CSC, Rhonda Wright, senior citizen manager, and Ginny Furth, idea coordinator; from Booz Allen Hamilton, Margo Goldman, senior citizen associate, and Carolyn Quinn, link; and from SM&A, idea consultant Rachael Neenan.

Rhonda Wright tells, “Proposal publishing can be an art. It ought to be, when you're offered five days to create 1, 000 internet pages. " As using any art, what you study from the masters ought to be practiced and then adapted to fit your own needs.

Select a project sponsor

Want a recipes for disaster? Go lean and bring about one freelance publisher to proofread ones proposal. Then assume that they can format ones proposal, make coffees, and-oh, yeah-organize ones production schedule together with workflow. An astonishing amount of companies operate in exactly this manner.

A better process? Assign a concentrated project coordinator to help oversee your output schedule and e-book process end to separate. Having someone manage the important points of production lets the top honchos like proposal managers consentrate on their core duty: developing a successful proposal strategy. Therefore lets your output staff edit, pattern, and format that document without distraction.

Really, your coordinator ought to be a trained idea specialist who has learned the intricacies of RFP (request for proposal) that will manage a output workforce of 10 to help 30. At minimum amount, he or she ought to be highly organized, accommodating, and accustomed to help working under taut deadlines.

In add-on, Margo Goldman tells, coordinators “have to get the right personality. They need really need a certain power, a certain assertiveness. Right after they say 'no, ' people essential info that they necessarily mean it. " Carolyn Quinn highlights that a sponsor “also must be ready to stay calm with tense situations. inch Or as Rachael Neenan guides it, “No matter how difficult the case, you can do not ever blow your collection. Staying professional can be so important, because everybody else on the team reacts back. " In many other words, if ones proposal coordinator will lose it, your whole staff might lose it, way too.

Add key staff members

In addition for a project coordinator, you would like two other experts: an editor and then a desktop publisher. The proposal editor will establish a style page (sometimes called that “wall of truth") for any proposal and update the document again. The desktop publisher will establish a style-based template for any proposal (usually with Microsoft Word), framework text, and assimilate numerous files inside one. The computer's desktop publisher, who ought to be skilled in artwork software, will also generate the figures applied to the proposal.

If your primary proposal is with substantial size (say, across 100 pages), these leads will likewise oversee the succeed of other writers and desktop publishers assigned to your effort. Because the leads carry a great deal responsibility, it doesn't pay for to force-fit someone in the job who's not necessarily fully qualified. Consistent with Wright, “Your leads ought to be true experts who figure out what they're doing. Using people which aren't publishing professionals are often very costly-and can really jeopardize the idea. "

By the best way, you don't imagine your proposal ought to be edited? Maybe not necessarily, if you tend not to mind your clientele reading that hunan resources and then a pubic key infrastructure are component of your solution.

Schedule production in more detail

A production arrange should work backward in the proposal deadline together with incorporate time with regard to writing and studying, designing the proposal cover along with the template for the written text pages, formatting and having the copy, idea editing and proofreading, possessing author and idea manager reviews, conducting one more quality check, together with printing, assembling, boxing, together with delivering the idea.

It's tempting to forgo organizing a schedule since “schedules always slide. " But that's how come you need an individual, and why building your garden shed coordinator should place out every meanwhile deadline that's had to get from project set out to completion. When a lot of these deadlines slip, you'll indeed ought to reconfigure your arrange. But you'll know clearly where you are supposedly and what still ought to be done to connect with your final contract.

What to do once your schedule is drifting out of hand, but the higher-ups don't appear to care? Remind them in the dollars being wasted by way of the extra hours wasted. “If somebody decides in the eleventh hour to swap the proposal's web template, " Wright tells, “a coordinator may well explain that making a really change will require a certain number of hours-at a particular number of dollars each hour. When the companies do the math concepts, chances are they'll drop the concept. "

Hold standup staff members meetings

Getting your team together for only 10 minutes every day and 10 minutes inside afternoon can save you hours of sacrificed effort that proceeds from misunderstanding priorities and job specifications. The reason for a standup? To help assess progress with interim deadlines, assign priorities during the day, answer questions, and adjust ones schedule as needed so that the project remains to normal. The project sponsor should lead that meeting, and just about all key production staff members should attend.

Mind you, a “standup" assembly means just that-everyone should fully stand up. Keeping people on the feet nearly ensures that meetings continue to be short and concentrated.

Use progress-tracking fire wood

Your proposal is usually 800 pages longer, is being authored by 23 authors, and it is currently divided inside 140 separate Ms Word files. Pick where Section II. 13. M. iv is?

If you happen to religiously maintain some sort of tracking log, you certainly will. Your log should list just about every piece of that document, including that cover, spine, together with back cover; that tabs and event tables of contents; the resume cover letter; every text department, broken out just by volume, section, together with subsection; and just about all supplemental material, which include appendices and contraptions. Your log ought to track the progress of each one piece through each step in the publishing cycle, which include writing, editing, format, author reviews, together with quality checks.

Wright says that will she expects the woman's project coordinators “to fully understand the status of each one single piece on the proposal during every minute in the production cycle. " Her coordinators' progress logs allow them to take some action.

One of the excess benefits of this product, says CSC's Ginny Furth, is it's far standardized and suited for all the department's plans. “I can give off a project I'm taking care of to any many other coordinator who's been trained in the way, " says Furth. “They can continue the project flowing in the evening, so I do not have to be at the office round the clock. "

Control workflow together with versions

Your editor comes with spent six a long time polishing the executive summary in the event the proposal manager happily hands you his rewrite in the file. Guess precisely what? You've just sacrificed version control.

And avoid these unhappy seconds, you need a pc for moving files in the production process and being sure that only one people is handling a file each time. Your system is often as simple as placing each a component the proposal within a manila folder not allowing people to figure on a section unless they also have that very folder facing them. Or you may load your files into an electric document-sharing system enjoy Microsoft SharePoint, which allows merely one person to “check out" and use a file each time.

“One of things that can really does one in on some sort of proposal is if you happen to lose version regulate, " says Quinn. “When authors give us a file to figure on, we advise them, 'That's it, it's our file today, we own the idea, don't do whatever else to it. ' We help it become very clear with control over a file each time. "

Schedule some sort of relief shift

It's not actually unusual for Goldman to help schedule freelance editors to get started on a good sized project at 6: 00 k. m. on some sort of Friday or 9: 00 some sort of. m. on some sort of Sunday. As shortly as she spots that work might flow outside usual business hours, she rings in place her freelance staff members and books a 2nd shift.

“The way that will we've avoided burnout over time is that we now have an extensive merchant network, " Goldman tells. “We use a whole lot of temporary support, each of those for editing together with for design. We think of yourself as very careful regarding the hours that most people work, and we really increase and add staff members to spell people right after they need it. inch

Incorporating a minute shift into ones production schedule enables more work to remain done on the day while preventing the lowered return and increased errors which come from working ones production staff 12 and 15 hours on a daily basis for weeks at a time. It also helps maintain your most fundamental professionals fresh and focused right after they are practical.

“I am a giant proponent of that life-work balance, inch says CSC's Wright. “We have individuals who worked for a us a long time and who likewise have spouses and little ones. People like that aren't visiting stick around when we aren't flexible with the schedules. We ask our staff to travel out on a limb for individuals, and we ought to be willing to do the identical for them. inch

Proposal groups that will don't operate this way are known since “body shops, " and people regularly place multimillion dollar deals inside hands of output staff fueled only by the few cups of coffee and some hours of sleeping. Lots of places practice it. But that doesn't help it become any less hazardous.

Know when to speak about no

Quality can be a goal, but the deadline is a supreme goal. Proposals submitted to the us government minutes late get famously been rejected-leaving that submitter with tons of paper and a huge number of dollars with publishing costs off the drain. “Publishing a proposal is not really like publishing some sort of novel, " tells CSC's Ginny Furth. “It's not visiting be read more and more through generations. " Each time a deadline is in danger, she says, “I am not necessarily above pulling a folder using somebody's hands. inch

Goldman says, “Carolyn together with I are top-notch writers, but we are extremely practical most people. We know when to allow to go, and at the final of a job, we will not work with the trivial. inch

Last-minute changes for a proposal should become only if people address RFP concurrence issues or resolve errors which were egregious enough to threaten the offer. In other key phrases, should production be organized to insert some sort of missing serial comma? Virtually no. To fix some sort of typeface smaller as compared to that allowed by way of the RFP or a misspelling inside client's name? Without a doubt.

Leave ample time period for printing

Take into account that the final measure of publishing-printing, putting together, and boxing some sort of deliverable-always takes longer than you hope. SM&A's Neenan says considered one of her pet peeves is usually that “everyone feels that printing amazingly happens in a few minutes. Even individuals who been in that proposal business with regard to 15 years consistently underestimate plenty of time that's required. " To get a large proposal, Neenan recommends creating a full day in the schedule dedicated just to printing together with prepping a page for delivery. And by the full day, she means the standard business day-“not with 5: 00 k. m. one morning until 5: 00 some sort of. m. the following. "

Enjoy precisely what you've created

As soon as you finally have the proper staff on your team along with the right procedures available, working on a proposal may actually be a entertainment. “The proposal environment can be so collaborative, " tells Furth. “There's a really sense of teamwork together with, over time, you feel a close friends and family. "

“Sometimes, you do not even have to help talk through precisely what you're doing, " says Goldman in the proposal environment. “It's like being relating to the best of that military teams-everyone just knows where to start. "

Creating a proposal shop such as the one Goldman teaches takes time, but it's more than worth it. Your proposals might run more properly, fewer people might scream at people, and both you and unfortunately your staff will like a saner standard of living. Publishing a panic-free idea isn't easy, but it can also be done. Follow the most effective practices outlined these, and you'll possess a great chance of putting your following large proposal to help bed on time-without losing an excessive amount sleep yourself.

[joronomo]

Ripping the Headlines Today - Paul Lander, Humor Times

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Ripping the Headlines Today - Paul Lander, Humor Times

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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon.

Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:

Bear breaks into Colorado house, plays the piano but not very well

Hey, it’s not his fault someone requested he play ‘Despacito.’

University of Texas removes four Confederate statues from campus overnight

It seems the only monument to the Confederacy not being removed from public property is Jeff Sessions.

Mystery surrounds sonic attack that injuries up to 10 US officials in Cuba

On the upside, everyone’s teeth were extra clean.

Mayor of Phoenix: Trump not welcome here

Marking the first time Phoenix hasn’t welcomed a senior citizen.

Largest Powerball Jackpot won by single ticket

Or, as I now call the winner, ‘Mom.’

Senators try to force Trump admin to declare Wikileaks a ‘hostile’ spy service

They didn’t actually tell him, they sent an email to Podesta.

Fox Sports hires Michael Vick as NFL studio analyst

Way better than the Animal Planet…

Russian Ambassador to Sudan found dead in swimming pool

So, he died ‘Sudanly…’

Miley Cyrus victim of new nude photo hack

Wouldn’t it be news if she were wearing clothes?

How to tell if you damaged your eyes by looking at the solar eclipse without glasses

If you’re reading this, you’re probably ok.

USS McCain crash is 4th Navy accident in Pacific this year

Who the hell’s in charge Admiral Gilligan?

House Speaker Paul Ryan criticizes President Trump’s presidential pardon for former Sheriff Arpaio

In no uncertain whispers.

Taylor Swift’s new teaser features an actual snake

Guessing she felt it was too expensive to actually get Katie Perry.

Trump ‘might refuse to leave the WH when his term ends,’ expert warns

Which means it will be one of the few days he was actually there.

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Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of — winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Sudanese peace activist, Fatima Ahmed Ibrahim, to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of central Africa’s indigenous people. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written and/or Produced for shows on FUSE, Showtime, The Disney Channel, ABC Family, VH1, LOGO, XM/Sirius and Lifetime. In addition, he’s written standup material that’s been performed on Leno, Letterman, Conan, “Last Comic Standing,” etc., Hobo Pancakes and Humor Times. Now, on to Paul’s time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul’s “Ripping the Headlines Today” columns here.)

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