#he doesn’t have an amp but he still plays with it a lot

[runraerun]

don’t worry, @queenofships06, Eddie’s got his guitar for enrichment!🎸♥️☺️

All my talk of needing to put Billy in a mason jar so I can study him/keep him close/shake the shit out of him on occasion and I finally did it:

Don’t worry guys, he’s happy and healthy. I even put some enrichment in there for him. ☺️❤️

[retroaria]

Hello! I'm not sure if you write for Karasu from Blue lock but if do you can I request first time hcs for him? If you don't write for him, Sae works too :D

✶ first time!

itoshi sae + karasu tabito x fem!reader

a/n: i definitely wanna do these for all the other guys after my event ends!

˗ˏˋ written for aria’s 1.5k follower event! ˎˊ˗

➜ itoshi sae

when you and sae first started dating he was quick to try and initiate sex, feeling a bit confused if you were to tell him you wanted to wait.

once you are ready to have sex with him he plays it off like it’s no big deal but he secretly is fighting back his own excitement.

it shows in his eagerness to have you undressed beneath him. he takes your clothes off like a savage and immediately aims to mark you up, kissing and nibbling at your skin as his hands graze your body up and down squeezing and gripping at certain areas. sae is the kind of guy who gets off on the feeling of soft clean skin, so he takes his time appreciating your entire body.

normally he’d be more rough, but for your first time he decides to be a bit more gentle with everything. instead of eating you out like a madman he laps at your clit with a leisurely pace and curls his fingers into you slow but still striking.

he’d fuck you in standard missionary so he can moan softly in your ear and have you moaning in his. also likes to nibble at your neck and jaw.

his pace is at a comfy medium. he just doesn’t have it in him to make his thrusts slow and steady, but he enjoys slowing down a bit if only for the ability to make each thrust hit hard against your sweet spot to ensure your nails keep digging into his shoulders and biceps the entire time (his favorite fucking thing omg).

pull out > condom, unless you ask him to wear one which he would be fine with but he prefers not to. keeps his cock snug between your walls for as long as he possibly can. when sae’s close to orgasm he fully nuzzles his face in your neck and wraps his arms underneath you to pull you impossibly closer. he isn’t a loud moaner but his soft low groans are like audible porn.

sae’s aftercare doesn’t feel like he put in a lot of effort but it’s still good bc he basically just has you do all the stuff he would want to do himself after sex. shower, water, snuggle up.

➜ karasu tabito

he’d be so patient if you wanted to wait for the relationship to get more serious! he’s a player for sure but when he’s locked in he’s locked in.

he would want to make it a romantic and intimate experience for you, but he wouldn’t go all out. he’d take you on a beautiful date before hand and he’d run a nice bath for you after, sweet but not too sweet.

loves foreplay omg don’t get me started.

i headcanon him as a beast in the sheets but on the low he loves slow sensual sex. wants to kiss and lick your entire body, have his face smothered between your legs for as long as possible, rubs his cock between your folds so long he almost cums right then and there before stopping himself. loves the way you whimper for him as his tip glides back and forth against your sensitive clit.

he’s got a cheeky smirk on his face the entire time, even while his eyes flutter shut as he slides his cock between your warm wet walls for the first time.

this might be an odd opportunity but i feel like for your first few times with him he’d really amp up the dirty talk and probably drop it later into the relationship unless you happen to really like it lol. he’d drop himself down so he can speak directly in your ear, telling you how good you’re taking him and how incredible you feel wrapped around his cock between his low groans and thrusts.

look at me trying out new themes!! :D

mdni divider creds: @adornedwithlight so cute :3

[signanothername]

do you think dream might also have some sort of chronic pain? nightmares legs are like obviously really messed up from corruption, but like being in stone for more than 400 (or 500 I kinda forgot how long he was in stone for) years has gotta do something to your joints or bones. Probably maybe not something as painful as what nightmare goes through, but I’d expect it to be painful or discomforting nonetheless

ACTUALLY YESSSSS ANON I DO THINK DREAM IS IN CHRONIC PAIN TOO!!!

And they’re definitely joints, definitely suffers from some sorta arthritis, being frozen in place for so long can be debilitating, and allow me to say that I love to think Dream also wasn’t just able to move around like he just wasn’t frozen for 500 years when he got free

Like I absolutely love to think he barely could move at all when he first got out of his prison, he definitely was in so much pain too, and absolutely struggled to move his limbs, like I wholeheartedly believe he just lay there without moving for a while (all while his mind was on overdrive as his memories got back to him as to what the hell happened)

And well, that pain as well as stiffness, especially in his joints just stuck with him, he now also struggles a lot of the time with moving too much or working, and sometimes the pain can amp up to the point he just can’t move at all, literally would cry from the pain, he’d force himself to stay as still as possible as to not irritate his pain even more

And unlike Nightmare, who’s pain is mostly just his back and legs, Dream’s pain is in every and each joint in his body, from every vertebrae in his spine, to every finger joint in his hands

Now take that and include Dream’s archery in the mix :)

One of the biggest things about archery is that you have to have strong flexible joints to be able to use a bow without any problems, not to mention, using it excessively can cause joint stiffness/pain, so I think it’d be easy to imagine how hellish using a bow is for Dream

But Dream had to learn how to use it effectively with his disability if he wanted to survive, the reason Dream picks up archery specifically is both cause it holds sentimental value to him as he used to play archery with Nightmare, and cause he knows he needs a long range weapon when Nightmare got his tentacles, he can’t be too careless and be at close proximity to his brother when he’s trying to kill him

So even tho there’s so much in his way, Dream managed to learn how to use a bow effectively all the same

It doesn’t mean he never faces any problems when fighting with his bow, Dream has great aim, but even then he’d sometimes miss his target just cause of the pain/stiffness he has, and sometimes it irritates his joints so much that he’s just unable to keep fighting and so he just retreats

I like to think Dream never even knew how to make his pain better at all, he never knew how to treat it, so for the longest time he just lived with it, until he met Swap, and well, he finally understood that he doesn’t need to just live with it and that there are methods to treat the pain, so now he wears braces under his clothes most the time, especially his wrists, arms and knees, he sometimes uses heat/cold therapy and he’s definitely on pain medications on a daily basis

Damn this boi needs a break

[wheneverfeasible]

A random plot idea that came to me suddenly. Please feel free to use this idea, just credit me if it inspires you and send a link with any story written!

-

I’ve read a few fics with the premise but it’s like a She’s All That AU where King Steve is bet to make The Freak, Eddie Munson, fall in love with him, or make him popular, or get him to prom so that they can Carrie him. And of course Steve goes along with it because he’s still trying to be what people want him to be or whatever and he doesn’t like it but he does it, only to end up catching feelings for Eddie.

And okay yeah. Cue that heartbreak angst when Eddie finds out. But…BUT…

Imagine that AU but Eddie knows about the bet. They don’t know he knows, but he discovers it quickly. He’s King Freak after all; the gossip gets back to him before the popular jocks even get to putting the plan in motion, or he overhears it himself, or whatever. But he knows.

He knows and he plays along. He lets Steve woo him, acts first like he’s wary and annoyed about the guy, makes him work for it, but he lets himself pretend to fold and accept the dates. Accepts the kissing. Accepts the more.

Because yeah, he knows it’s fake, knows Steve could never actually want him, but he still has King Steve’s mouth around his dick, and he honestly has to congratulate the guy for going so far for a bet. And hell, he’s not going to pass up the chance to see just how good the fabled King is with his dick either.

Eddie figures he’ll have some fantastic sex, eat good food and get some dope gifts like a new amp for his sweetheart all courtesy of Harrington money, and…yeah, okay, even if it’s fake, Steve’s actually pretty good company. And Eddie even makes friends with one of the cheerleaders and isn’t that fucking bizarre but she’s sweet even if her boyfriend is an ass.

And Steve is still friends with his ex and through that he knows some dweeb kids, and damn is Harrington actually kind of good with kids, kind of…nice? And he’s funny in a bitchy kind of way, and his family life actually kind of (a lot of) sucks. And he helps this band geek who was being bullied by one of his teammates, and…and maybe, in another life, Eddie might have thought King Steve was actually a good dude instead of the douchebag he knew he was.

Because this was fake. It’s all just a bet. And Eddie is going to laugh when, after all of this, he gets to pull the final prank on Harrington and all his court. Because he knows it’s fake. He knows Steve doesn’t actually like him. He knows that, even when he laughs in all their faces at the end because he got to fuck King Steve in the ass, he’s going to be leaving it all alone and…and without Steve.

And that’s fine. It’s fake. It’s fine. Steve could and would never actually like him. The King and The Freak. And it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine.

And the truth is revealed, and Eddie laughs at them because he’s known all along, and Eddie pretends his heart isn’t breaking while Steve does the same. And it’s okay and it’s fine.

Except it isn’t.

But it is fine, because Steve’s ex? That band geeked he helped? Eddie’s cheerleader friend?

By god they’re going to get these two idiots to realize what’s been right in front of their eyes this whole time.

And this is only the beginning of the royal love story of King Hair and King Freak and how they turned Hawkins High upside down.

I guess you could say they really are all that.

-

Tagged: @derythcorvinus

[un1ver53]

Jealous much? - DUKE DENNIS ONESHOT

Angst with fluff 🖤🤞🏽

IF YOU DONT LIKE SMUT THEN YOU MIGHT NOT WANNA READ - it doesn’t have smut but it’s very close to 🤗🤗

1500+ words

••••

You, Y/N Y/L/N is a famous pop star with 9 Grammys under your belt and you couldn’t have done it without your fans of course. You adore your fans a lot since they’ve got you to the place where you are now. Sold out arenas, number one albums in the world, merchandise always needing a restock, your makeup line being one of the most spoken and initiative brands there is. You couldn’t have done it without them; so when your babies keep pestering you to do a collab with a certain someone then you listen. However, you just wished it wasn’t the rapper and singer called Future.

Some people mistake Duke for Future sometimes and as a joke, his fans decide to make fan accounts and ships between you and Future, even though you have been dating Duke for 2 years and you have never seen or interacted with Future. Duke used to find the jokes funny and light-hearted until you made a small little one.

Flashback

You’re sitting on Duke's lap, his arms wrapped around you as his big hands occasionally tightly squeeze your thighs. You start giggling as the fans pipe up again of the never-ending ship of you and the singer/rapper Future. Your boyfriend sighs laughing lightly until you say, “FINE you got me... I’m only with Duke because he’s the closest looking to Futu-”

“N***A what did you just say right now?!” Duke exclaims side eyeing you, not hearing the jokey tone in your voice.

“Baby I was jok-”

“Nah don’t give me that crap, you being serious right now ma? Nah n***a the fuck is this?” Duke pauses the stream abruptly and looks at you dead seriously.

“Baby please just calm down,” you say in a peaceful tone reaching out to hold his hands, which he accepts and lets you speak, “I was only joking since people are saying that, cmon baby you really think I would do that?”

Duke sighs and lets his head rest on your shoulder and you start playing with his dreads. “I’m so sorry mamas, I don’t know what happened. I just don’t want to think about you being with another guy or thinking of being with another guy.”

“It’s okay baby, I promise I never think about other guys in our relationship,”

You put out your small pinky finger for him to interlace it with his large dark one, he smiles and holds your pinky tightly pulling you closer to then interlace your lips together. You moan quietly as his grills bite your lip teasingly and his hands start to go up further up your dress shirt (his normal-sized shirt for him). You squeal feeling his cold hand on your hip and look away shyly then see the stream is still paused and the fans are confused but also somewhat worried. You smile and gesture for him to bring back the live and he does, returning the smile with his shiny grills. The fans are then reassured that everything is okay and not many jokes about the rapper who shall not be named was mentioned again.

Flashback ended

You’re in your personal recording studio with your legs propped on the expensive equipment as you slowly turn yourself side to side in your white wheely chair to wonder what to do. You read the lyrics again and listened to the demos of your verses repeatedly again, not knowing if you should bring the rapper who shall not be named onto the song and make a hit.

Contemplating quietly, you didn’t notice the door opening and your boyfriend but also the rest of the AMP members stroll in. Kai screams “WHAT'S UP SISTER!”

You slightly jump, nearly knocking your iced coffee onto the very expensive equipment, which you could easily buy again but that’s too much effort for you and your team to set up again.

“KAI YOU BITCH! Don’t scare me like that!”

He laughs along with the others and he starts apologising. You smile, and give everyone your hugs until you stop at Duke, he embraces you tightly kissing your lips and then asking, “Are you alright mamas? I can tell something is up?”

Duke always knew when something was bothering you, or if you just weren’t okay. You could fool anyone except him. You sigh and sit back on your white spinny chair in front of the AMP members and start saying the truth. You might as well tell all of them at the same time as Duke.

“Well you know how I’m a singer?”

Everyone nods confusingly but then you continue “Well sometimes a singer needs to collaborate with other singers to make really good songs, right?”

They all collectively nod again, “Girl where is this going?” Fanum asks.

“Just wait stupid,” you sigh looking down at your hands and then speaking “Well I���ve been making new songs and I’ve made a song, a love song which needs to be a collab with a male singer.”

After that statement, all the males could see where this was going and look between you and Duke wondering if they should pipe up or not.

“Well, do you know who it’s going to be?” Duke asks sternly.

“Well… the producers are all saying that there’s only one person who should do it and the fans have also sai-”

“Fine, I’ll do it n***a!” Kai exclaims exasperated getting up to shake your hand.

Everyone starts laughing, the tension being disrupted through the air and is finally gone because of Kai’s stupidity. However, one person wasn’t laughing, Duke.

“N***A SHE AINT ON ABOUT YOU! She’s probably on about Future. Am I right?” Duke says looking straight at you.

You nod slightly not knowing what to do. He sighs getting up and walking around not knowing how to feel. “Let me hear the song,”

You nod and put it on after telling them that you’ve only recorded with your voice and no one else’s. After the grand reveal of the song, everyone is still shocked at how good your voice is and starts hyping you up. You smile proudly but look around and see your boyfriend just sitting on the sofa looking at the ground. You sigh not knowing what to do, but the saviour Davis always does. He silently starts to make everyone go out of the room before giving you a smile and shutting the door behind him, giving you and Duke privacy.

“Listen baby I-”

“Did you write the song? WHO is it about? It’s about that n***a Future ain’t it?” Angrily, Duke says frustrated and looks up at you.

“Yes. I wrote the song and guess what it’s actually not about Future. I can’t believe you think I would do that?! Do you think I’m some type of whore that would go around making love songs about other people than her boyfriend? BECAUSE GUESS WHAT. IM NOT. I MAKE A LOVE SONG ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND BUT NO MY BOYFRIEND HAS TO THINK ITS-”

Your rant was abruptly ended when Duke grabbed your neck and then started the kiss your lips, both of your tongues finding each other and dancing together as if they were salsa partners. You start to moan as your knees buckle, losing strength. Duke grabs your plump ass, slapping it before lifting you up and dropping you on top of the sofa. He gets on top of you kissing your lips then slowly starts to make his way down to your neck and collarbones, giving you love bites and dark deep hickeys. You continue to moan loudly as being in a recording studio meant that no one could hear you, even if they were pressed up against the door.

You were about to continue then a knock at the door stops you both in your tracks, “ARE YALL DONE ARGUING OR FUCKING?” you hear from the other side of the door.

You laugh and get up, and start fixing your hair combing it with your fingers to try and get rid of the crazy sexed-up hair knowing that if you could have gone all the way then you would defo have to hide the hair as it would’ve been everywhere. Duke smiles at you and hugs you tightly before saying, “I’m sorry for getting angry, I just don’t want you to be with another man. I love the song so much thank you for writing it about me.”

“Jealous much huh? Don’t worry the only love songs I’m singing and writing are about you,” You tease before getting interrupted by the rest of the AMP members intruding into the studio.

“SEE they aren’t fucking!” Chris says at Agent but Angent could see something that his best mate couldn’t.

“N***a look at Y/N’s neck then speak to me.”

You look confused whilst Duke looks down and starts laughing. You turn around to look into a mirror and see all the dark hickeys Duke left.

“DUKE, AGENT, EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!” You exclaim trying to hide them with your hands.

•••

You got to do the song with Future after all, and let’s just say the song was an instant hit and you may have gotten a few awards for it. Duke was the proudest boyfriend in the world and wishes he could’ve put his jealousy aside in the earlier days, but now he makes up for it by giving you the best nights and mornings wink of your life after you win the awards.

The song I’ve been on about is called ‘Loveeeeeee Song’ By Rihanna ft. Future

[roseypwark]

Nine | Lobotomy

ENHYPEN Eighth Member : 지유 JIYU / 지유나 Ji Yuna

Table of Contents

//

The break between legs of the tour is over far too soon. That’s not to say Yuna doesn’t love performing for and meeting fans all over the globe. But she equally loves having access to a recording studio and sleeping in her own bed. And she gets kind of itchy when she goes too long without playing her guitar.

It’s the last night in Korea before the group is headed back to America for another round of concerts. Yuna’s in her room, savoring the last taste of her safe space before two weeks out of the country as long as she can.

Riki’s here, too, holed up in the corner in Yuna’s papasan circle chair. She likes to curl up in it and put a blanket over her to sit in the dark for a while, which is very unlike how Riki is stretched out sideways on the oversized cushion, long legs dangling over one side as he scrolls on his phone. He’s too tall to cocoon himself in the crevice like Yuna does.

Yuna sits at her desk across the room from him. She’s hunched over a bass in her lap with a pair of headphones plugged into an amp. The sound of the guitar isn’t totally absent but it’s substantially reduced when the main audio output is going directly to Yuna’s ears rather than open airwaves.

She plucks the strings to work out a tune that’s been scratching at her frontal lobe for a while now. The sound of the bass straight to her head makes her skull vibrate in a bizarre, pleasant way. She’ll surely lose her hearing prematurely but she needs the noise; otherwise, she can’t tune out the rest of it.

She’s been at it for half an hour and still can’t get it right. She pulls her headphones off, sets them carefully on top of her desk then places her bass back on its stand.

“Frustrated?” Riki asks.

How he could even tell, Yuna has no idea. She hadn’t huffed or tossed anything aside, yet Riki knows exactly how she’s feeling.

“I can’t figure this riff out. It should be so simple.”

“Let’s go to the convenience store,” Riki says, rolling fluidly out of her circle chair to get to his feet. “Take a break.”

Yuna hums, but it’s not her normal agreement.

“Come on,” Riki says, grabbing her desk chair and rolling it—and her—away from her desk. “Come back to it with a fresh mind.”

“I don’t need a fresh mind. I need a lobotomy.”

“No.”

“Let’s buy an ice pick.”

“NO,” he says sternly, but he’s laughing around his next words. “We’re going to get a drink. You clearly need a break.”

Riki goes so far as to grab her hands and pull her out of the chair himself. She lets him push her all the way out the door and to the convenience store. She follows him around the little corner shop as he picks out both of their snacks.

Yuna lets Riki get away with a lot. He gets to treat her differently than anyone else. He understands her like no one else ever has. He's her best friend. She wouldn't lose that for anything.

Riki carries the bag with their candy in it back to the dorms. They walk shoulder to shoulder, meandering along the sidewalk at an abyssmal pace. Yuna doesn't mind. Not anymore. It's okay to walk without purpose if it's with a friend—it’s nearly enjoyable to do so with Riki.

"Are you excited to go to America again?" Riki asks.

"It'll be fun to perform no matter where it is."

Riki laughs.

"What?"

"You don't have to give me the media trained answer."

"I know."

"Why aren't you excited to tour in America?"

"I am. But where doesn't matter. It's not like we ever actually get to see anything in any of the cities we go to."

"Like what?"

"Museums. Landmarks. Tourist attractions. Nature reserves."

“Nature reserves?”

“Mm.”

"You like nature reserves?"

"No."

"You do."

"I like hiking."

"You do?"

"I don't have much time for it. I'd like to go to lots of different national parks in America. You could spend months in some and still never see everything."

"Hiking could be fun. We should go sometime."

"You don’t have to."

“Let’s do it. After we get back from America. You have your license, now. We can rent a car and go somewhere.”

“Do you even like hiking?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You like it and if you’re happy, I’m happy.”

It’s so simple to say it like that. ‘If you’re happy, I’m happy.’ Yuna feels that way about him, too.

She watches Riki dance and she catches herself smiling for no reason. He’s in his element, so talented and beautiful. He clearly enjoys what he does, and that’s enough to make Yuna smile when she doesn’t even realize it.

“I’ll look into it,” she says.

“Okay. Let me know. This’ll be fun. Maknae trip!”

“Maknae bonding time is back.”

“Oh my god—Mandatory Maknae Bonding Time! I forgot about that! We were so awkward back then.”

“I was awkward. You had to deal with it.”

“You hated me.”

“I never hated you!”

Riki laughs.

He likes to tease her about how they used to be. Even if she knows he’s joking, Yuna doesn’t like him even speaking into existence that she could ever hate him. He would have to do something truly irredeemable for that to occur. She doubts that will ever happen.

Back at the dorms, they eat their candy and show each other TikToks until Riki drifts off, on top of the covers on Yuna’s twin bed and still in his jeans. All this despite his own room in the other dorm being less than three minutes away. There’s no room for both of them on a bed that small.

Yuna has the heavy strum of a bass rattling around inside her head as she curls up in her circle chair with a blanket to sleep. It should bother her that her last night in Korea for several weeks isn’t going to be spent in her own bed. But it doesn’t.

//

<<< PREV // NEXT >>>

@pjselee @sumzysworld @aespie

[vmiuchi]

can u write a vv smut please 🥺 just something really tense, like maybe reader didn’t necessarily like him but she eases up on him and it eventually turns into something?

BREAKING POINT

Ville Valo x Female Reader. One shot.

word count: 1,322

(NSFW warning)

Backstage was absolute pandemonium. Amps everywhere, cables like snakes trying to trip you, folks yelling in every accent imaginable—honestly, if sweat had a flavor, this air would taste like old cigarettes and sheer panic. You’re standing outside those flimsy plywood dressing rooms, arms clamped across your chest, jaw basically carved from stone. Ville Valo’s hidden back there somewhere and, not gonna lie, you’re a millimeter from busting in Kool-Aid Man style.

Of course, he’s done it again.

Minutes ago, during HIM’s last set, Ville had to open his mouth, drop that grin that says “I know exactly what I’m doing,” and let it rip: “Shoutout to the backstage crew who just love running their mouths—even if they couldn’t play an E chord.” He doesn’t just drop the joke and move along. No, his eyes scan over, slow as hell, right to where you’re rooted, looking painfully visible.

The whole crowd eats it up. You can literally feel the rage bubbling up behind your eyeballs. Ville’s been messing with you since the moment you joined this tour, and tonight? Oh, he hauled your misery out front for everyone to see. Real crowd-pleaser, that one. You’re not laughing.

Day one, you clocked his type. Too slick, too at-ease, charisma dial turned up to “please just stop.” He glides around like he’s blessed the earth with his presence. That sly grin? You want to rip it off—or maybe do something a whole lot messier. Haven’t decided which urge wins yet.

And the way he flirts? Downright criminal. He stares a second too long, always teetering on that thin ledge between mocking and seducing you. You keep telling yourself it’s all pointless games—that you’re immune—but, yeah, well, your body’s got other ideas.

You storm in, not bothering to knock.

He’s dripping sweat, shirtless, black jeans hanging precariously low. Tattoos stretch old-school across that pale chest. He’s dabbing himself off, unfazed, looking like he just stepped out of a forbidden Calvin Klein ad.

He turns his head, lazy as you please. “If it isn’t my favorite critic.”

You shoot daggers. “What the hell was that stunt on stage, Valo?”

He grins, slings the towel aside. “You’ll have to remind me. I’ve been busy being worshipped.”

You kick the door closed with your boot. “Cut the bullshit. Was that shit about me?”

He just shrugs, mouth twitching at the corner. “Well, if the Doc Martens fit—”

You get up in his face, sweat prickling beneath your collar. “You think you’re the only one sweating blood for this band? Just ‘cuz I’m not the one crooning under the spotlights doesn’t mean I don’t exist.”

His gaze is straight-up rude at this point—slow, obvious, crawling all over you before finally landing back at your face. “Oh, believe me. You exist.”

You’re halfway through your next bark when he cuts you off, and your frustration finally boils over. You shove him, maybe harder than you mean.

He grabs your wrist without missing a beat.

Your body goes still—heart hammering, blood roaring in your ears. That hold is wild: not rough exactly, just certain. Like he owns every single inch of this room, including you.

“Let go,” you snarl.

His eyes gleam, dark and amused. “Make me.”

Yeah, that’s it. Something in the air just snaps.

You lunge, grab his chest, crush your mouth onto his—no hesitation, no gentle second thoughts. It’s a collision, not a kiss: hot, messy, angry as hell. All those months of useless banter and something way more dangerous just finally blow up.

He’s got hands everywhere, clutching fistfuls of your shirt, his fingernails raking your skin—grabbing your ass like he’s making a statement. You yank that silver chain, dragging him down and practically devouring him, both of you sucking in air like you’re drowning.

Suddenly you’re spun like a record, body smacked up against the vanity. Shit’s knocking over—a bottle falls, something clatters, but it’s all background noise now.

“That what you wanted?” he rasps, voice pure gravel against your neck.

You barely manage, “Shut up.”

He sinks teeth into your shoulder, just on the edge of not-quite-painful. Your body’s so into it you barely recognize yourself—fingers clawing at him, nails making lines down his spine. He lets out this absolutely filthy sound, way too pleased with himself.

At some point, your jeans are halfway down and you’re just rolling with it, panties snapped off with his teeth (show-off), soft kisses trailing up your thigh, everything getting fuzzier at the edges.

“I thought you hated me,” he smirks into your skin.

You pant, “I do.”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.”

He stands, smooth as anything, whips a condom from his pocket like he read your mind. You snatch it, rip it open, and—yep, he’s already hard—slide it onto him yourself. The weight of him in your hand twists everything inside you tighter.

“Just get on with it,” you snap.

He grins, cocky as ever, then… well, he doesn’t make you wait.

Holy hell. He fills you in one sharp, hard thrust—knocking the air right out of your lungs, almost tipping you headfirst into the chaos all over again. He’s relentless, pace wild, grunting, groaning, every thrust shoving you a half-inch more into oblivion.

“Still mad, or what?” he pants, breath salty-hot in your ear.

You bite back, “I’m gonna murder you.”

He slides a rough palm up to your throat—just enough pressure to make your skin tingle—kisses you like he’s starving, teeth clacking, tongue wild.

“Say it,” he growls.

You shake your head, stubborn.

He slams deeper, everything crashing together, and you crack—voice wrecked: “Ville.”

He bites your lip, pulls your head back by the hair, and suddenly the whole world’s disappeared, just skin and sweat and heat and the ragged sound of your breaths. The mirror’s rattling. Someone’s probably pounding on the door, but right now, you wouldn’t care if the building caught fire. Everything feels raw and dirty and maybe just a little bit perfect.

You fumbled down, nerves shot to hell, but he swatted your hand away—nah, too slow, let him handle it.

"Move. I got it," he muttered.

And, damn, did he ever. Fingers found your clit, just right, circles that made your knees want to buckle. All the while, he kept thrusting, deep and relentless, like he knew exactly how you wanted it—maybe he did. Your thighs started shaking, almost embarrassing if you had the capacity to care.

“Come for me,” he growled, voice rough enough to scrape your insides.

Did you? Well, hell yeah, you did—cried his name, your whole body tight, squeezing around him. He lost it a few heartbeats later, teeth digging into your shoulder, muffling the kind of sound that’d get you both kicked out if the whole damn hotel wasn’t already noisy.

You collapsed onto the vanity, a puddle with legs. He pulled out—gentle, surprisingly, for a guy who just ruined you—and tossed the condom in the trash, like it was just another Tuesday.

Silence dropped heavy between you, air thick with sweat and something else—maybe regret, maybe just reality biting your ass. Both of you stared at yourselves in the streaky mirror, still panting, half-dressed and ridiculously flushed.

He spun you toward him, hands big and weirdly soft on your jaw, thumb dragging lazy across your lower lip. Voice low, softer, a hint of nervous in there if you listened close: “Gonna bolt?”

You raised an eyebrow, let your mouth curl up. “What, you tired of me already?”

He snorted, like—please—and kissed you, slower this time, just lips and heat. No rush, just… whatever the hell this was.

You shoved your jeans back on, wiped your mouth ‘cause, honestly, who wants to walk out with sex lips? He watched, still half-naked, not even pretending to play it cool.

He finally broke the silence, smirking. “You good now?”

You shot him a glare that screamed bite me. “Shut up.”

But your feet wouldn’t move. Not yet.

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1 when you're sick

a/n: i love writing stuff like this, mostly because i think how someone takes care of u when ur sick means a lot :)) it’s very endearing to me!

notes: yujin is not included due to his age! just assume y/n has a nasty case of the flu or something lol, i didn't proofread so sorry for any typos!

wc | 2.8k

 from worst to best at taking care of you

gyuvin

i don’t think he’d necessarily be bad at it per say

like gyuvin’s definitely the type of guy to treat you a little bit like a baby when you’re sick

he feels really bad, and he doesn’t like seeing you all upset and unhappy :(

so for the first couple of days he’s good at supplying you with medicine and water, and he does his best to make you meals (most of them are bland convenience store soups and noodles put into bowls but it’s okay)

he also spends a lot of time with you, and, by extension, cheers you up a lot

he will amp his funny meter up like 97% because he wants to see you smile and laugh

even though you can barely laugh because you’re sick and your throat hurts

he also will be very loving when you’re sick which is nice because i don’t see him being extremely touchy when you’re going about your daily life

so you get lots of hugs and kisses even though you keep telling him not to because he will get sick

and that’s where everything goes wrong

the thing is. on day 3 he will wake up sick

no matter what, when you get sick, he will be sick within 72 hours

it’s because he’s clingy and annoying and will nap with you, get ready for bed with you, and eat food with you so there’s virtually no protection from your illness

and as much as he would love to keep taking care of you while he’s sick, he feels just as bad so now you’re BOTH rotting away while whatever sickness you have runs its course

you end up having to call hanbin over because neither of you want to do anything but lay there

so like

enjoy the two days of a very loving and doting boyfriend (more so than usual)

and make sure to tell hanbin when you get sick so he can be prepared to clear his schedule lol

under gyuvin’s (technically hanbin’s) care, it takes about a week to fully get better!

ricky

so sorry to the 04s for this slander

again i don’t think he’d be bad at it he’d just be a little clueless

i think when he gets really stressed out about something he shuts down a little bit too so when your fever is pushing 102 he’s kind of like a sim that can’t figure out how to get past a desk (if that makes sense)

you’ll be like “ugh my head hurts” and he’ll be like oh okay … then twenty minutes later he finally returns with advil and a cup of water

or like you’ll be napping and he’ll suddenly remember that you need to take more dayquil (he’s about an hour late)

and at the end of the day he will get done what he needs to get done just like give him a minute

ricky somehow makes a really good chicken noodle soup (it’s just canned soup) and you always ask him about it and how he makes it!! he tells you it’s a secret (he just slightly modifies canned soup)

i think he’s also pretty good at making sure he doesn’t get sick from taking care of you, too

like as much as he loves you and not being able to hold your hand makes him want to die, he doesn’t want to be like gyuvin and force hanbin to take care of both of you lol

so he’ll wear a mask and wash his hands pretty regularly, but he makes sure to reassure you that he’s taking the necessary precautions so that he can successfully nurse you back to health, and that he still loves you even if he can’t get too close right now :)

i think his main strength in this area is keeping you entertained, though

like he’ll make sure there’s always a movie playing or something, even if you’re asleep

he doesn’t want you to be bored and feel bad

also has an intrinsic belief that not being bored will distract you from the icky feelings

under ricky’s care, it takes a little over a week to get better!

matthew

same with ricky, i think matthew’s not necessarily bad at it, but he kind of shuts down when he finds out

he goes from like doting, loving boyfriend to oh god oh my god oh no oh god

if you give him a bit of time to gather himself he goes from panic mode to question mode

matthew will NOT leave you alone while you’re sick!!! he’s halfway convinced you’re living out your last days!!!! he has to make sure you don’t die!!!!

he also asks you 70 questions an hour

“do you need anything?” “do you want something to eat?” “do you need more water?” “do you want a massage?”

of the 70 questions, maybe about 3 or 4 of them yield the answer “yes” but that’s not 0 so he’s going to keep it up

he’s like baymax or something idk he’s just so stressed out the entire time

he’s like nigh unrecognizable the entire time

you are absolutely aware of the fact that sometimes he leaves the room to call his mom and ask for advice but you pretend that you don’t know for the sake of his dignity

although his constant stream of questions can be somewhat overwhelming at times, you’re very appreciative of his dedication because when you’re sick, you will get anything you need

he will also make any meal you desire even if he’s never made it before, and he really adores the way it makes you smile so then he’s all smiley afterwards &lt;;/3

if he needs to go out to the store to get you something, he will either enlist somebody else to do it or have someone stay with you while he’s gone

so you’ll get a lot of well wishes from jiwoong, hao, and hanbin while you’re not feeling well

when you get better it’s the best day of matthew’s life i’m pretty sure

he remembers what it feels like to not be terribly worried 24/7 so you watch him deflate like a balloon

and then he naps for like four hours

under matthew’s care, it takes 6-ish days to get better!

taerae

taerae’s pretty middle of the road in my opinion

like we learned during boys’ planet, he’s the youngest kid so he received a lot of affection and love when he was growing up

so, when you’re sick, he gives you a LOT of affection

you could be rotting away in bed and taerae will be like “you are the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen” with heart eyes

i think the thing that gives taerae a real leg up though is that his first thought is “oh let’s go see a doctor” and he can drive so you go pretty much immediately

that way, you get flu-specific medicine and get better quicker than you would’ve without

after that, taerae’s sick care is pretty run of the mill

i don’t think he’s too panicked about it because people get sick all the time, and so, unless you’re really, really sick he’s not going to be doting on you 24/7 like matthew would

he’ll still run errands and he won’t cancel plans unless you straight up ask him to (and if you ask he will without thinking about it!!!)

and he makes sure you’re taking your meds, drinking water, and eating three times a day

but life doesn’t stop, you know??

it’s nice because when you’re sick, sometimes all you want is to be left alone for a bit and that’s exactly what taerae does for you :)

also, because he’s continuing on with his life, he won’t get sick from you so you won’t have any of that guilt on your shoulders

one special thing taerae does when you’re sick though is sing you to sleep

sure, when you’re not sick, he’ll do it from time to time but he’s very consistent when you’re not feeling well!! he’ll get the guitar out and sing you a lullaby or two

he will also sing you awake </3 and he wakes you up to eat!!! so it’ll be a cute little made up jingle about it being breakfast time … it’s very heartwarming

under taerae’s care, you get better in 5 days!

jiwoong

i think he’s very similar to taerae in this respect, so he’s also in the middle (but a little bit higher up)

jiwoong is older and more experienced with stuff like this so he’s very businessy about it

when you wake up with a fever, you’ll head to the doctor and get your tamiflu or whatever

from then on it’s just a waiting game i think

the main difference between taerae and jiwoong though is strictly experience

he’s very routine when it comes to taking care of you

you eat breakfast, he gives you dayquil, goes out to get anything you ask for…it continues

jiwoong is also really good at knowing when you want him around and when you want him to leave you alone

but he’s always generally around, and will cancel plans (without telling you) so that he can make sure he’s available if anything goes wrong

he’s good at planning for the worst case scenario without being worried about it, too, so he’ll have a backup plan in place if you (for some reason) start getting worse rather than getting better

jiwoong is great to have around when you’re sick because he’s good at cooking, too

he will bring you the most delicious soup you’ve ever had in your life and will literally juice oranges so that you can have fresh orange juice

he doesn’t tell you but he’s a little manic about what you’re consuming when you’re sick because he doesn’t want you to throw up or get sicker because of what you’re eating

he also gives really good bear hugs when you’re sick

like the best bear hug of your life

when you trudge out of the bedroom in the morning to eat breakfast and open your arms for a hug he will gladly envelope you into the most comfortable thing you’ve felt in weeks

they’re obviously no different from his hugs when you’re not sick but for some reason they’re just so much better than when you’re not feeling well

under jiwoong’s care, you get better in 4-5 days

zhang hao

TOP 3!!

hao is so lovely to be around when everything is normal, so when you’re sick he’s like a saving grace almost

he actually notices you’re sick before you do

he wakes up one morning, looks over at you, and notices that your cheeks are flushed and you’re making a kind of unhappy face

he takes your temperature and is like >:0 oh no

so you literally wake up to him holding a gatorade and a bowl of rice and you’re like ??? what

“you’re sick”

“i am???”

and then a couple of hours the symptoms really kick in and you’re like “how are you a genius…” but he’s just observant lol

while you’re sick, he dials up the zhang hao charm like 7000% and makes sure that you know he loves you more than anything and that he will do/get anything you need until you get better

and he will ensure that you don’t feel guilty that he’s taking time off of his everyday life to dote on you

i think, in general, hao is so good at catching your illness before it’s really able to set in that your symptoms tend to be fairly mild throughout the time that you’re sick (thus, you get better faster)

and he’s good at making sure you’re staying clean too

he knows how awful it is when you get sick and you don’t have anyone to help you out, so you just end up feeling gross and disgusting all the time

so he makes sure you’re doing your skincare (he will literally do it for you if you need him to) and that you’re showering when you need to yk

and he gets “anonymous deliveries” of little treats throughout the time that you’re sick (he asks hanbin to pick some things up and put them at the door lol)

when you get better, hao will take you on a date to celebrate (and he lets you pay so you’ll truly crush any guilt you felt for interrupting his daily life)

under hao’s care, you get better in 4 days!

gunwook

this might be a hot take but i think gunwook would be so nice to have around when you’re sick

i also think, like hao, he picks up on it before it even happens idk

he’ll see that one of your friends got sick after you hung out and he just knows

he will preemptively make you take theraflu, and you think he’s being stupid but then you wake up with a fever

he’s like “i told you”

gunwook would be panicked in a way that you have no clue, so it’s out of sight and out of mind

but in all actuality he’s blowing up the zb1 gc like wtf do i DO!!!

everyone’s first recommendation is to make sure you don’t end up like gyuvin (sick and unhappy) LOL

but half the things he does are recommendations from jiwoong, hao, and hanbin so make sure to thank them at some point!!

because he takes tips from the pros he ends up being a pro you know

and he finds out ricky’s super secret (canned) soup recipe so he’s got that on lock too

essentially gunwook is the product of the rest of the group’s experience … like the answer to one big equation lol

the one thing he doesn’t listen to is everyone telling him to like not be constantly close to you

i’m a believer that gunwook rarely gets sick (his immune system is like on steroids) so he spends the entirety of this period hanging out with you

naps with you, goes to bed at the same time as you, watches whatever you’re watching, etc

obviously he’s washing his hands pretty often but he’s still hanging out with you, which makes you feel very happy and loved :)

afterwards, you’re very thankful and appreciative and gunwook will take all the credit for the techniques other people supplied him with

at some point you’ll probably catch on but you won’t say anything lol

if he’s happy, you’re happy!

under gunwook’s care, you get better in 3-4 days!

hanbin

i feel like this was obvious

this man is literally a mother

you feel like your mom is taking care of you the entire time you’re sick

when you wake up and tell him you aren’t feeling well he does the mom thing (puts his hand on your forehead) and can actually conclude you have a fever by doing that

and then he’ll tell you to go lay down while he makes breakfast lol

it’s seriously like your mom is taking care of you, i cannot overstate this

he’s giving you cold washcloths and handing you cough drops every 2-3 business hours

he asks what your symptoms are and goes “hmm” before disappearing from the room and returning with the exact remedy you need

hanbin quite literally hates the idea that you’re nothing less than happy, so he will do everything in his power to make sure you’re getting better while honoring your wishes at the same time

so if all you want to do is sleep, he’ll let you sleep

or if you want to try and still be productive, he’ll let you help with the dishes or do your own laundry if need be

being sick under hanbin’s care is so nice because you don’t feel like the world has stopped just because you’re sick, you know

the way he takes care of you keeps you feeling strong enough to do something other than lay about all day

and you don’t really get to the point where you feel like death is imminent (i assume this is a universal experience for everyone)

and he’s not too worried about you being sick as he’s worried about you getting better and not having any residual symptoms you know

also makes yummy and delicious food for you so that’s a big plus LOL

you get better so fast that it’s barely a bump in the road

you think god accidentally gave hanbin special powers and you’re glad you get to be the main benefactor of them

under hanbin’s care, you get better in 3 days!

thank you for reading!

[burningdreambanana]

Outline for my Mustafa rewrite project (season 2, post return from Edirne)

Mustafa comes back from Edirne after 3 years. He hasn’t seen anyone from his family other than his mother during this time. Meanwhile, Suleiman, Hurrem, and their children have become their own little family—a tight unit. The children are too young to know about the fratricide law, so they are carefree. Mustafa feels excluded from this, like he’s lost his place in his own family, and begins to grow resentful and fearful. He starts regretting his decision to leave.

His identity is built around the idea that he is the next sultan, and this starts to profoundly affect his relationship with his brothers—especially Mehmet, who is now growing out of childhood and is Suleiman's favorite. Mustafa and Mehmet are still close, but a rivalry begins to grow between them. Mustafa starts to feel threatened by Mehmet’s increasing prominence and ease within their father’s orbit, while Mehmet begins to sense that Mustafa no longer sees him as his dear little brother, but as a future rival. This shifting dynamic creates both sadness and tension in both of them, but they try to hide it from each other

Craving validation and his father’s admiration, this is where he truly starts going out of his way to impress the janissaries and important statesmen, notably during the campaign they go to together, oblivious to how this actually makes Suleiman more and more wary of him. During the campaign, we see him making reckless decisions to play the hero, but it’s not portrayed in the positive light the show usually uses for these kinds of moments.

During his confrontation scene with Hurrem, where he tells her she ruined his childhood, she tells him that if that’s how he feels, he should go say it to his father—after all, he’s the one who chose her. She rightly calls out the fact that he’s too scared to confront Suleiman and is scapegoating her, and that deepens his resentment toward her. That said, I don’t want him to be evil, so he does express discomfort and empathy when he sees that her face has been burnt, and it leads to a rare nice moment between them

Mustafa would actually be very enthusiastic about the marriage with Aybige, regardless of his personal feelings toward Efsun, since it would allow him to gain the support of the Crimean Khans and make him more powerful. He doesn’t concern himself with what Aybige thinks about it, which illustrates his selfishness and gives more weight to Aybige’s motivation to run away from the wedding. She never actually agrees to it either (I hate the trope of a woman who feels scorned marrying another out of spite), and it’s essentially imposed on her. We can also make a point about how wives are expected to be faithful, but he's still allowed to have his harem, something that makes Aybige deeply uncomfortable. Also explore the fact that foreign princesses that became legal wives of sultan were not supposed to bear children, with Aybige feeling conflicted about it (she does not necessarily want kids but doesn't like the idea of not having a choice)

Mustafa is very happy when Suleiman makes Hurrem apologize to him, it’s the highlight of his week (rare instance of validation from his father), and he rubs it in her face more than once, which only makes Hurrem more resentful of him. Their rivalry starts amping up a bit

We do NOT get Cihangir falling ill right after Hurrem poisons Mustafa because I DESPISE the writers’ insinuation here, it would be two separate storyline, happening at different times.

During Suleiman’s illness, Mustafa is a lot more conflicted about what to do. He’s in a state of confusion, torn between his mother’s pressure and his ambition and his fears and love for his father. His siblings are still children, and the idea of killing them repulses him, but at the same time he wonders if he truly has a choice. He is not okay—his scenes here are very Hamlet-like in my mind

Mustafa is actually furious when Aybige and Bali Bey escape. Hurrem has the news spread throughout the palace and beyond, and he feels humiliated and wants revenge. He treats Aybige badly, saying some cruel things to her, and then has Bali Bey executed (which is how I get rid of this man yeah Mustafa!!), idea inspired by Credit : The Bali Bey idea was inspired by a comment from El_Coco_005_on Reddit

He also hoped that being ruthless would garner his father’s approval, and while he is actually right that Suleiman would have done the same thing, Suleiman’s hypocritical ass is pissed that his son killed his loyal servant and resents him for it. But if he hadn't done it, Suleiman would have thought Mustafa was weak, so he couldn’t really win here.

The Efsun storyline stays the same.

Mustafa’s revenge on Hurrem doesn’t end with that one setup where he makes her fear for her children (which remains a highlight of his character); it turns into a full-fledged rivalry where both try to hurt each other. Notably, Mustafa continues to try and use her children in this rivalry, but at some point, little Selim notices and starts distancing himself from him. Mehmet is also uncomfortable with some of Mustafa’s insinuations about his mother.

Fatma would not be his second favorite because she would already be dead, but I do find it interesting to have him choose a favorite who hates Hurrem. I would pick one who wasn’t involved in something as drastic as burning Hurrem’s face, but one of the concubines who made life difficult for her in the harem and is close to his mother

I actually think it would be interesting if Mahidevran sought Mustafa’s help during her financial difficulties, and he decides to borrow money from other sources—like important families who want to please the future ruler. Since Mustafa still has to be trusted enough to be sent to Manisa, I would make Ibrahim clean up his mess after him, so his father doesn't learn about his implication

This is where we start making Mustafa’s entitlement to the throne an actual central theme of his character. The moment where he tells his little brothers he will become the sultan, even though they all technically have the same right to it as he does, and Suleiman looks visibly disturbed, has always been interesting to me and deserves more exploration. It also callbacks to some of his very fist scenes as a little boy (ex : "am I not the owner of this palace?" in S1E1). It especially evokes a central conflict between father and son: Mustafa thinks the throne is something that is owed to him simply by virtue of being the eldest prince, while Suleiman thinks it’s something you have to earn and fight for

He develops a love-hate relationship with his father where he at the same idolizes him and resents him. He lights up when Suleiman shows him the faintest of approval, and spirals when he is cold/suspicious towards him.

Mustafa in this season ends up being trapped in contradictions: raised by his mother to believe he was destined for greatness, yet never affirmed by the one person whose approval he craves most. Idolized by the janissaries, statesmen, and his mother as the future of the empire, he internalizes the myth of the perfect heir, yet at the same time can’t help feeling deep down unworthy of the pedestal he’s been placed on. This leads to anxiety, imposter syndrome, and reckless behavior to prove he deserves the pedestal.

He begins to chase validation desperately, seeking greatness through acts of bravery and calculated alliances, oblivious to how this only deepens Suleiman’s mistrust. His sense of self is fractured: he is simultaneously overpraised for existing and never good enough for the one person whose opinion truly matters, so he struggles to define himself and doesn’t feel grounded.

There are two contradicting imperatives pushed on him: “be strong, be loved, and be feared” from people like his mother, and “stay small and harmless” from his father—and possibly some other statesmen/scholars. He is caught between other people’s projections of him (a hero or a threat) and his own internal confusion. He starts going down a self-destructive path, unable to reconcile the person he is with the role others have written for him.

[intheupside]

What's the secret to Sidney Crosby's success?

Always eat a strawberry PB&J on game day… and have unwavering dedication, unparalleled work ethic, and exceptional talent.

With Sidney Crosby appearing in his 1,200th NHL contest on Saturday in San Jose, I wanted to ask how his game-day routine has evolved in the years since that first one to help keep him playing at such an elite level.

Because as Mike Sullivan said, that’s not an easy thing to do – and it's a testament to Crosby’s drive, his will to win, his desire to be the best, and his willingness to put the time in and make the sacrifices so that he can continue to sustain that type of play.

At first, Crosby laughed good-naturedly – because we all know how superstitious and routine-based the captain is – and half-joked that there might not be much there. Most of it has stayed the same, particularly his on-ice warmup routine heading into puck drop. "Whether it’s preparing for a game or just a typical game day, (my routines) just allow me to feel good about going out there and doing what I need to do," he said.

But there has been a tweak here and there to the captain’s preparations now that he’s 36, particularly when it comes to what he does in the mornings. Unless the Penguins have the day off before a game, the morning skate is always optional – and in recent years, Crosby has chosen to stay off the ice.

“You look to conserve that energy a little bit more,” he said. “As much as I like getting on the ice in the morning, it’s good if you can just take that opportunity to do other things and still get a little bit of sweat – get ready for the night, but still conserve some energy at the same time. It's always a balancing act.”

Instead of skating, Crosby will take his stick and gloves and find a quiet area of the rink to do some solo stickhandling, which helps him loosen up a bit. He’ll also take part in the first soccer game of the day with Bryan Rust, Jake Guentzel, Erik Karlsson, Marcus Pettersson, and Rickard Rakell. Sometimes, Noel Acciari will join them, depending on if they do 3-on-3 or 2-on-2.

“We’re just kicking it around, but it can get pretty intense,” Crosby said before adding with a grin, “Sometimes, I wonder if I expend more energy in soccer than I would in morning skate. It just depends on the day, maybe.”

After grabbing lunch to go, when he gets home in the afternoons, Crosby’s nap has gotten shorter as he’s gotten older. “I used to sleep like, two and a half hours when I was younger. But a little harder to do that now,” he smiled. But Crosby still isn’t a big coffee drinker, since natural adrenaline gets the job done when it comes to waking up. “I feel like I get pretty amped up, so I don't need that. I’ve had some caffeine before, and I don’t think it’s good for me,” Crosby laughed.

When it comes to the food Crosby fuels himself with, on a game day the players have the same menu available to them both at home and on the road for their breakfast, lunch, and pregame meal/snack, so he sticks to his routine for those … down to the strawberry PB&J that HBO filmed him making during their 24/7 Penguins/Capitals Road to the Winter Classic series.

But Crosby doesn’t eat as much steak the night before games compared to his early years in the league, especially on the road. “That changed a little bit. Other than that, as long as it's somewhat healthy, I just try to make sure I get a good meal,” Crosby said.

There’s obviously a lot more that goes on behind the scenes, both inside and outside of a game day, that Crosby does to set himself up for success.

“All the subtle things he does – for me, that's the most impressive aspect of his overall body of work. A lot of it goes unseen,” Sulivan said. “That's why I've always said on so many occasions that it's not by accident this guy's as good as he is. Yeah, he's talented, he's gifted, and all of those things, but he maximizes every opportunity that he has to be at his best. I think that commitment, in my experience of being around the game, has been unmatched by any other player I've seen.”

And that’s because Crosby’s passion for the sport is something else that’s remained the same.

“I love it just as much as I did Game 1,” he said. “It’s a lot of hockey, and just grateful I’ve been able to play this long.”

[centaurianthropology]

Oh man, I think the Circle of the Crimson Mirror might just be MY Candela circle. I enjoyed the goofy schlock horror with the Circle of the Vassal and the Veil, and really enjoyed the amping up of horror in The Circle of Needle and Thread (though the horrors of war theming was not specifically for me, it was still well done). I haven’t gotten to watch the Circle of Tide and Bone because life happened, but from what I’ve heard it was very good.

But I was laughing out loud with glee for the first episode of the Circle of the Crimson Mirror. All these characters are delightful. The setting is fascinating (starting out OUTSIDE of Newfaire and expanding the world was really fun), the theming of Irish folklore horror gives a folk horror mixed with cosmic horror vibe that I’m really excited for. And Liam is just the sort of ruthless DM that is perfect for a horror game. Because for me, keeping your players wrapped up in the horror, making them at least a little genuinely afraid (after talking through Lines and Veils of course) in a fun and contained way IS the heart of playing a horror game. It’s the same as watching a horror movie, in that you WANT to be scared, that’s part of the enjoyment, but in a horror game the fun is having it happen to you.

And both folk horror and cosmic horror are some of my favorite subgenres, so this is hitting all my favorite sorts of horror. And because it’s me, see below for my much longer thoughts about this first episode and the characters. Because I’ve never found a topic I enjoy that I can’t write an essay about.

Liam comes for everyone straight out of the gate, doesn’t he? While I found the train cold open in chapter 2 exciting, I found this even more harrowing. With NPCs we barely know constantly imperiled, all the investigators are really sketched so clearly right off the bat with their actions rather than their more open explanations later. I love that all of them lean heavily into being out of their depth, even sometimes making poor choices because of it. The players are aware they are in a horror game. The characters are not.

So let’s talk about those characters:

MALCOLM TRILLS

Imari Williams was the player at the table I had no prior experience with, and I love what he’s doing here. He puts his whole body into acting out the scene, even at the table. Even before we know he was a Sole Survivor of a massacre during the war (and I found it deeply entertaining that Imari couldn’t help but dump his backstory all over the floor. Liam’s gently encouraging everyone to hold it back for dramatic moments, and Imari is just so excited he’s like “NO! HERE IT IS!” not once but twice in the very first episode), we knew that. Because Imari is clearly dedicated to acting that out through what Malcolm chooses to do. He believes in saving others, especially after losing his entire squad. He has to do it, even (or maybe especially) for those civilians he doesn’t know. His entire point in being in Candela is saving people. So when Liam dunks two unnamed sailors in the ocean, Malcolm goes in. His friends are horrified. They love and value him, and they value him more than two randos. But to him, the randos are the point. Saving people is the point. So no matter how many disappointed dad-lectures he gets from Leo (and this is clearly not the first one he’s gotten), Malcolm is always going to be this way. He’s always going to try to play the hero in a horror setting, which is such a delicious choice for a horror player to make. Everyone at that table knows how perilous it is, but Imari is fully committed, and I love it.

We already know a lot of his background, but there are things we don’t know. We don’t know his relationship with his family, or why Leo is so disdainful of the Trills as a group. There seems to be an implication that the Trills are old money in Newfaire, perhaps, or at least a legendary family for other reasons. And apparently reckless heroism is a family trait. But what does Malcolm do in his day-to-day? He’s the one we don’t have a career or life for back in Newfaire yet, and I am interested to see who he is when he’s not playing the hero for Candela.

LEO AMICUS

I love the description of “I’m going to lie a little and say ‘early forties’” as an explanation for Leo’s age. It tells me a lot about his character right off the bat. We know he’s older (but not how much) and that he doesn’t want to admit he’s older. There’s just a touch of vanity already there, and given that he’s also a man in a dressing gown on a ship in a severe storm, who thinks that his presence is deeply inappropriate? Who asks if there’s a bar on a tramp steamer? We know so much about Leo already, and I love it all. Taliesin plays a dandy so well, his table reactions are so expressive, and it’s so clear that a setting like this is NOT where Leo shines. He shines in social situations, in parties and bars and places where his charms mean something beyond keeping a crewmember calm long enough that she can be knocked unconscious. But he’s so great in being totally overwhelmed and being useless in an action sequence.

And once the storm is over? We find out that Leo is very much the mother hen of the group (probably the oldest member). He knows Malcolm well, and treats Grimoria like a beloved niece. We haven’t gotten a lot of interactions between him and Edgar, but I’m excited to see what their relationship is like, as the two more cautious members of the group.

It was in his interactions with the other members of the circle that I realized how much like family this circle is. They are VERY close, despite ostensibly just being coworkers. There is such a deep care and concern for one another here and I love knowing how dangerous that also is in a horror game. And Leo is the one most open about his attachments here. We know he doesn’t have much blood family, and doesn’t talk to them. We know he looks at these people as his family.

And I love that, for that family, we see a REALLY different side of Leo. While he was overwhelmed and trying not to look at the blood on the boat, the second the Murphy girls (or whatever was masquerading as them) tried to murder Malcolm and the others, Leo was grabbing kitchen knives and trying to kill them. His perspective from his talk with Malcolm also remains consistent: you put your family first. When his family is threatened, meek Leo melts away and we have a man who will do whatever is necessary, kill whoever is necessary, or let anyone die to protect them. He seems to have few moral convictions, but an enormous amount of love, and that excites me for this character.

And I love that we actually know very little about him right now. We know he lives in Red Lamp (because of course he does) and that his apartment doubles as their chapterhouse. So he can be Team Dad at every meeting.

Also congrats to him for getting laid in the very first episode. Hot sailor dude propositions him, and Leo is all about that life. This Professional Man of Leisure is clearly gay catnip.

DR. EDGAR LYCORIS

I was so excited that Alex was finally going to be in a filmed Candela game (he was apparently one of the play-testers during its development, and it’s so clear he knows the rules). Dr. Lycoris is cool, calm, almost robotic in his presentation. He’s definitely a classic Alex character with his calm and his normal-guy-in-a-group-of-weirdos vibe (while secretly being very much a weirdo himself), and filled with casual competence and rudeness. But at the same time there are hints of how much he cares about this circle too. Him quietly calling Grimoria ‘Grim’ when she’s unconscious and he’s tending to her, telling her, “You can’t sleep forever, Grim,” in such a fond tone. The two of them clearly have some quiet history together, and there is a real softness between them that I’m excited to see them dig into as they get deeper into the game. There’s clearly a long-standing connection with Malcolm too, with both of them extremely aware of one another’s skills and weaknesses, working together seamlessly, especially in moments of extreme stress. I want to see more of these soft moments, these personal moments when his icy demeanor cracks, and I imagine we’re going to get plenty of them, given that THIS is how intense the first episode was.

He and Leo are the two characters we know the least about at this point. We know that Edgar is a surgeon working in the main hospital in Newfaire. We know that he is cool under pressure, and that he is both used to fighting (his immediate shift into using his scalpel as a precision weapon to go after arteries and tendons is such a nice touch for the character), but also can really be shocked by sudden violence (I love that he totally freezes after THAT happened to Declan’s mother). He states that he wears nice and fashionable clothing, but the clothing is almost wearing him rather than the other way around, like someone picked them out for him. I want to know who that other person is (is it Leo???). I want to know who he is when he’s not trying to wear what other people expect of him.

I am so excited to get to know Dr. Lycoris.

GRIMORIA

Likely a stage name, and I do wonder if we'll get her birth name, or if that even matters to her at this point. Mechanically, I am thrilled to see a Candela player try to homebrew a multiclass in this system. She’s essentially gone for a Medium/Magician hybrid. We know she works as a procurer of esoteric artifacts. She performs shows with smoke bombs, so likely is a stage magician, and that she has been able to channel spirits since she was a small child.

And we know that she’s 18. In a group in which consists of a man who is at least in his mid-forties, a man who is 32, and a man who is a surgeon (so has at least obtained advanced training, and is probably in his late twenties at minimum, and is likely in his thirties given the hints that he served as a battlefield surgeon during the war), Grimoria is YOUNG. Absurdly so. The guys care about her in a different way than they do one another. They look out for her in subtle ways, though are all very careful not to treat her as a child. The softness between her and Edgar is reflected in the overtly familial way that Leo talks to her, treating her like a very clever niece, but also the person he finds the most calming in the group. It’s fun to see that, even though he treats her as his relative, he doesn’t treat her as a child. She’s the one he goes to when he needs to clear his head. He just wants to listen to her read aloud. He finds talking with her soothing, and it’s clear why. She has a good head on her shoulders, and is rising to the occasion, so while he is caring for her, he also intrinsically understands her need to care for him as well. And Aimee really sells that in-between nature of being 18. It’s such a great portrayal of someone on the verge of being an adult, but not quite there yet. Someone her friends want to care for, but also want to treat like an adult and like any other member of the group. There is a tension in those relationships purely because of her age.

I also like that she’s the most pure investigator of the group. She’s the one who pushes for information, who has a burning desire to KNOW. And that’s a great flaw and danger for a character in a horror setting. The desire for knowledge in cosmic horror is so dangerous. Her willingness to channel spirits right off the bat is dangerous. She is, in her own quieter way, just as reckless as Malcolm and I love to see it. Aimee is throwing herself into this, playing a character who doesn’t know she has limits let, and is eager to push every boundary. I can’t wait to get to know her even more.

CONCLUSIONS

I love that we have two cautious characters and two reckless characters. I love that we have a balance, and we have a group that instantly portrays exactly how close they all are to one another. We’re not sure how these bonds were forged, but they are so well portrayed and so clear. These people love one another. They would do terrible things for one another, and I can’t wait to see what they go through together.

Count me very excited and very eager for next month’s addition to their story (and count me already sad we only get three episodes with them).

[zeltqz]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃] SEVEN

pairing. ex!ran x fem!reader

word count. 9.6k

series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.

content. buckle up guys, there's a LOT. detailed drug descriptions gun play; shion puts a gun to rans head, TW FOR DRUGS!!!! reader does drugs, sanzu injects drugs like a lunatic, mentioned whorehouse, gambling, sanzu and mochi talk badly about women so tw objectification.

a/n: really decided to amp up the plot in this hope you guys enjoy forreal. some shion backstory + dona too and at the end there's a special cameo at the end HEHEHEHEHEE. oh and please pls pls read the content warning above before reading, ik some ppl arent comfortable with drug mentions or guns in stories so i dont want to make anyone uncomforable ://

Shion’s eyes kept darting towards the clock by his bedside table every five seconds to see if he was reading the time correctly or not.

 It’s almost midnight and you disappeared almost seven hours ago with his car, shrugging on your jacket and thanking him with a kiss on the cheek—not even the lips—for letting you borrow his car. 

He wanted to ask where you were going but briskly bit down on his tongue, choosing on trusting you instead. 

In all honesty he had no clue where you were going, and he doesn’t mean this to sound offensive in the slightest but you don’t have friends to run to, so the curiosity in him peaked. 

He didn’t want to appear as controlling and wanting to know your every single move, an attribute he knows fully well you hate in a partner.

 From years of knowing you, from growing up together to your teenage years, he’s seen the boys you dated and how they were clingy and wanted you all to themselves. He’s seen them slowly break any resilience you have and left you broken and crying. 

It’s a pretty sadistic thing to admit that he liked seeing you stumble over to his house, eyes thick with tears and crying on his shoulder, nodding through quiet whimpers and mumbles as he told you that he’d always be there for you. It’s something that’d been programmed into you since you first got your heart broken at fourteen, the mindset having grown with you even through adulthood.

Shion first found out he loved you when you both were thirteen and when he got arrested and sent to juvie, you were the only one in his life that cared enough to visit him and send him letters every other week. 

His mother gave up on him after he broke each one of her warnings. He could still remember her telling him firmly if he continues down this violent path and gets himself caught, he shouldn’t dare coming back home. 

Maybe he went a little too far when he was caught smuggling cocaine under his jacket by a police officer and got himself locked up in juvie. 

But if you were to ask him if he regretted it, he’d tell you fuck no. 

Those times in juvie were the best part of his life; he met Izana, a legend in his eyes, even in death he still honours and respects him. He also met his ex best friends and former gang mates, most of them now known as Bonten. 

He met Ran, someone who Shion found himself jealous of for how strong he was, how charismatic he was, how much of a smooth talker he was. 

It’s like Ran was built for this lifestyle whilst Shion had to nudge his way in through the tiny doors. He used to stutter when confronted and had to learn to smooth talk his way out of situations. 

At only thirteen, Ran was able to not only talk himself out of any situation, but do it efficiently enough without ease and not even sweating one bit. 

He loved Ran as a friend, but as a person? He was jealous. Everything that he wanted to be, Ran was. 

Shion had to teach himself how to fight and would lose most of the time and make a fool of himself. Whilst Ran would look so bored and uninterested, barely putting in the effort and still would come out on top. 

There was an incident when a fight broke out in juvie, everyone was jumping each other just because of the sake of it. Izana was the strongest, taking out over twenty boys his age, Ran was next, finding creative ways to beat them up with objects like kicking a chair till a leg fell off, then whacking them with the object until it was recoloured with their blood. 

“You can’t do that! That’s cheating!” Shion had to direct his voice up at the taller boy. 

Ran, standing at 5’10 at the age of thirteen, looked down at Shion. The first thing Ran noticed was how his fists were bloody, then he slowly trailed his eyes upwards to his face where the real brunt of the damage was. His eye was black, nose soaked with his own blood and lip on the verge of swollen. 

“Cheating?” Ran questioned, looking down at his hand. “You mean this?”

“Yeah! You can’t use weapons. That’s cheating.”

Ran cocked his head to the side. “Says who?”

Shion had to think for a moment. “...the rules?” 

“The rules of what? Who made those rules up?” 

“Delinquents! Obviously! It’s just common sense!” Shion felt like his mind was boggled. He thought back to all the delinquent manga stacked up in his room, how he aspired to be like them and saw them beating people with their bare fists. 

“What do you know about delinquents?” Ran asked back, shifting his weight onto his foot. He placed his hand on his hip, the bloody chair leg swinging backwards, almost stomaching a poor boy walking past.

Shion took a mental note of his calm, placid nature and was genuinely confused. Anyone that studied up on delinquent manga would know that you have to always use your fists, be the loudest, rudest person in the room, always looking for a fight. Yet the boy in front of him right now looked like he was on the verge of sleep yet still managed to beat up ten times more guys than Shion could. Shion seemed happy with his two bodies, then looked over and saw Ran with at least eight, underneath some of those laying on the floor groaning in pain were probably a few more bodies. 

“...from manga,” Shion admitted sheepishly, looking down at the floor. Now that he thinks about it, his answer was pretty childish. Ran’s eyebrows rose in a moment of surprise before bursting out into laughter, the sound grating Shion’s ears. “Oh shut up! You think you’re so tough huh?! Fight me without that thing!” He pointed to the chair leg.

Ran finally stopped cackling and dramatically wiped a tear from his eye. He looked down at Shion who was much shorter than him, probably standing around 5’6 and hummed in thought, the sound smooth and sweet yet the chill it sent down Shion’s spine was the total opposite. 

“Okay.” Ran shrugged and tossed the chair leg across the room. It clattered against the wall with a loud crash and Shion snapped his head over to see where it landed. In an instant, Shion was on the floor, tackled underneath Ran as he forced Shion’s hands together, pinning him down. Shion struggled and tried to wriggle out of his grip but it was like iron. No, iron is an understatement. Those strong enough could bend iron. It was like diamond. 

Shion realised how much weaker he was compared to him and almost started crying from sheer frustration and embarrassment. He’d never seen the delinquents in his manga get absolutely violated like this. Ran’s hand rose up, clenched into a fist and flew downwards to Shion’s face. Shion squeezed his eye shut, ready for the brunt of the hit, but it never came.

His arms suddenly felt a whole lot lighter and he slowly opened his eyes, watching Ran stand up and dust himself off. “You’re too weak for me. It’s not gonna be enjoyable.” He stretched those long limbs of his reaching up towards the ceiling and cracked his back with a few more stretches. 

“Wha—” Shion spluttered, shaking his head like a dog to clear his head. “Where’re you going?”

“To shower. I stink.”

“But we didn’t finish! You can’t just leave a fight half way!” he yelled at Ran’s retreating back as he walked out of the cafeteria hall, leaving Shion there alone.

After juvie, the six of them left together and formed a new generation, S-62, doing heinous activities such as drug trafficking and making connections to expand their assets. You, of course, were still waiting for him like you promised. But slowly, the more involved he got, the less and less time he saw you. The two of you didn’t go full ghost on each other, but you were focusing on your own personal life and school, he was focusing on his own thing. 

You met Ran when Shion invited you to one of his parties since he missed you and to this day he regrets ever letting you meet him. Not only did you fall for Ran’s charm, he practically brainwashed you, drew you in with his words, his voice, his everything that Shion lacked. 

Eventually Ran became the shoulder that you went to cry on instead. 

Your relationship with Ran was constantly filled with ups and downs; the ups preceding the downs by a mile. 

Ran made you feel good and you became addicted to that feeling, so much so that without, you felt like nothing. 

Literally nothing.

During your fights it became an unhealthy habit to avoid Dona and Mira whenever they asked you to hang out because you wanted to wallow by yourself in peace. 

You’d lay on your bed, curled up all day, checking your phone and going through your messages with him, sometimes catching him online and fight the urge to send him a text.

Mira and Dona were your best friends and you loved them, but they never gave you that feeling that Ran gave you. 

He was like a drug, and though you’d never done drugs, you felt like an addict. Couldn’t go a day without thinking about him and what he was doing. 

You slowly didn’t like the person you were turning into, the girl that abandoned her friends and family because she was depressed and needed that boost of serotonin that only Ran could provide. 

Perhaps Ran was that male figure you so desperately craved for in life that when he left you just spiralled.

Shion still has no clue on why you were spiralling so badly. You never told him anything, such an unhealthy habit of yours to keep your feelings bottled in, then once the pot overflowed it became too overwhelming and you exploded. 

Maybe when you get back with his car, he’ll ask you about it. 

He glanced at the clock one more time. Still midnight. 

Grabbing his phone, he decided to track his car, see where its at. Technically it’s not creepy or weird to track you. He’s tracking his car. Not you. You just happen to be inside his car. 

Besides, he needs to soothe that niggling feeling inside his mind telling him you probably got lost, kidnapped, or crashed his car and died. 

It stated the car, parked a location of what seemed to be a penthouse, had been parked for the last eight hours. He paused and zoomed into the location, cursing the Google Maps app for showing  the satellite view instead of street view. He has no clue where this house is or who it belongs to. 

Part of him wants to say Ran, but the other part rejects it, not wanting to be faced with that truth just yet. Who else do you know that lives in a penthouse? Could be Dona, he thinks, she lives in a penthouse also. But Dona hates you, and he’s sure you might hate her back. 

Shion saved the address in his mind and dialed Hiro, hoping you gave him a call. 

The first thing he heard when he answered the phone was a low grumble. “What the hell do you want?”

Shion relaxed further into his bed, his hands laced behind his head. “An attitude already huh?” 

Shion could practically picture what peeved facial expression Hiro might’ve been wearing on his face through the exasperated sigh he let out.

“It’s bad enough you put me in this damn hospital. Now you’re not even letting me get some sleep?”

“I already apologised for that. Get over it.”

“You broke my ribs, you piece of shit,” Hiro growled.

Shion yawned. “It’s fixed now isn’t it?”

“Fuck you.”

Shion fought back his eye roll and sat upright. “Have you spoken to your sister lately?”

“No. Why? Did she find out your stupid plan and now you think I told her?”

“No she didn’t find anything out and she won’t. Keep your mouth shut and I won’t break your other ribs. It’s just that she hasn’t come home yet; it’s been 8 hours.” Shion peered over towards the clock, the number moving from 00:59 to 01:00. “Never mind, 9 hours now.”

“I swear to God if something happened to my sister and its your fault Shion I’ll—”

“Guess you don’t know anything then,” Shion sighed. “This was a waste of time. G’night.”

“Wait! If you find her tell her to call m—”

Shion hung up the phone before Hiro could finish his sentence. Hiro looked down at his phone in disbelief. He wasn’t surprised, more irritated instead.  He hoped you were okay but at the same time you had a track record of disappearing for no reason and ending up fine. Maybe this was another one of your episodes.

His phone moved to your contact, looking at your messages, Big Sis offline and decided to text you for himself.

~*~

You couldn’t sleep. 

Tossing and turning in Ran’s big comfy sheets did almost nothing to help. You tried everything in the book to try get your body to shut down and sleep but nothing worked. Your brain hyper active and flipping through the memories of earlier today, the kisses you shared earlier, his lingering scent still wafting around the bedroom, his voice that you missed so much. 

He’s been gone for six hours now and yet your thoughts went back to only him and his wickedly talented mouth.

Your phone buzzed, the room lighting up as Hiro’s name flashed across your screen from the dresser. Slapping uselessly around for the device, you fumbled with it until he held the phone the right way up just in time to see another notification.

2 New Messages: Hiro 

Where are you? 

Do I need to file another missing persons report?

You hesitated, wondering briefly if you should tell the truth. Nah, it’ll cause more harm than good. You pressed your chin into the soft black pillow case as your brain thought of rapidfire excuses that would explain your disappearance.

Sent: HIRO HI! Hows hospital food? Want me to bring you something instead?

Too much. Way too much, you thought but sent the message anyway. You could practically hear the nagging voice of your therapist abroad telling you that deflecting was never the answer and you should confront your issues head on for the healthiest recovery. 

Hiro could read you like an open book, even through text and it was scary. 

Hiro:

Stop deflectingg. Where are you?

Sent: don’t worry im fine. How are your injuries? Rib healing ok?

Hiro: 

You’re with ran arent you?

You paused and stared at the text. For a solid second you were sure your heart actually sank and you hated how perceptive your younger brother could be at times.

Sent: how pathetic do u think i am? Im insulted hiro -_-

Hiro:

Im insulted you think im this stupid

Whatever man as long as youre safe

Hes taking care of you right?

Sent: yes. He is. 

Hiro: kk thats good

Sent: youre really not mad? I feel bad

Hiro: kinda relived ngl. 

Sent: why’s that??

Hiro: nothing dont worry. Dont tell shion though i doubt he wil have the same reaction i did. Stay safe

Sent: ill come see you this weekend i promise. I love you

Hiro: lyt

You sighed in relief once you turned your phone off. Knowing Hiro was happy with your decision felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. Honestly you weren’t expecting this to go so well, fully expecting some type of drama to happen, Hiro yelling at you for seeing Ran after you promised you would stay away from him. 

You lifted the blanket, pulling them over your body and closed your eyes, finally drifting off to sleep.

~*~

The next morning, Mira woke up next to an empty bed as usual. It’d been a regular occurrence by now so she wasn’t phased by it, still there was a little twinge in her heart every morning that she refused to acknowledge. 

She quickly got herself ready for the day and headed downstairs to the kitchen to prepare for the event this evening. She opened up her Macbook and gathered all the recipes. 

An hour into cooking, her doorbell rang. She quickly washed the dried dough on her hands, wiped them dry, then walked over to the door. Dona was there, rubbing her wrists and admiring the outside decór outside the Tachibana residency. 

Mira lived in the suburbs, from the looks of it in a nice neighbourhood. Probably a cliché, Dona thought. 

Dona lived in the city, the busy bustling city where you’re woken up by the loud honking horns rather than peaceful birds. 

Her dream was to get married, have kids and live in a similar area like Mira’s neighbourhood. She’s twenty six now and isn’t even close to accomplishing her dream. 

Step one + two get married was a bust, men were practically afraid of her. She likes having the reputation of being icy cold, after all it was the only way you could be taken seriously in her industry. 

If you were too soft, delicate and emotional you were considered a weak link.

Plus she’s a woman and most men she encounters already don’t take her seriously. 

She has a reputation to uphold, her cold nature spread around like wildfire, plus being close to the executives in Bonten didn’t hurt for a little extra credit to her reputation too. People take her more seriously now, men and women. 

Also being Izana’s cousin also helped with getting connections. His death brought her closer to Mikey, the two of them using each other as a coping mechanism. It was her idea to use Izana’s earring as Bonten’s logo, an idea that resonated deeply with Mikey. 

Dona could never live in a neighbourhood like this as much as he desperately wants to. Her job relies her being out all the time meaning there’s barely any free time for her to sleep in and just relax. This neighbourhood is more like a community, meaning if anything goes down, it’ll be hard to cover anything up with so many eyewitnesses peeking out of their windows.

“Dona! You came!” Mira clamped her arms around Dona’s neck, pulling her in for another hug. “Come come, you can help me prepare for the party!”

Dona was ushered inside, Mira moving past her to lock the front door. The house was modern, a big living room space and Dona envisioned kids running around the place. She briefly remembers how excited Mira was to have kids and get married, settle down with the man of her dreams. The kitchen was just as big as the living room, shiny black marble on the walls and counter tops, plenty of room for them to get everything prepared.

The time was 9 in the morning and the two of them had to get everything prepared before five pm. It was a huge party, loads of baked goods as well as home cooked meals. Mira considered herself a good cook and prided herself in her cooking. Naoto loves it and can’t wait to finish a long day of interrogating and investigating just to come home and enjoy his fiancé’s cooking. 

With an extra helping hand, Mira managed to finish an hour before the party started, giving her time to start preparing everything before Naoto and his co-workers came home. They set the food in the garden in warming trays, put a cooler outside for the alcohol and only fifteen minutes before hte aprty started did they both finally have time to themselves.

Mira flopped onto the couch exhausted, an exaggerated yawn leaving her mouth. “I’m beat. My feet are killing me!” She turns onto her back and kicks off her fluffy slipper boots. 

“You did an amazing job. They’re all gonna love it.” Dona walked over to the unlit fireplace, looking at the picture frames stacked on top. She picked up a photo of Mira and Naoto, his hand resting on the flat of her back as they both smiled into the camera. “Is this Naoto?”

Mira rolled her head to the side to look at the photo in her hands. “Yup! That’s him!”

“How’d you guys meet?”

“My roommate in college was studying criminology. Naoto was in her class so I met him through her. We spent more time together and started dating in…2012? I think. Something like that.” Mira practically had hearts in her eyes as she spoke about him. 

She really was in love.

“I really want to meet him,” Dona said, putting the photo back down. 

Unknown to Mira, Dona actually met Naoto before, but it was one sided. 

Back when Bonten was forming, Naoto had been on their tails, always causing them troubles with his investigations.

 Their warehouses got raided so much because they didn’t have the manpower to fully protect, defend and hide their tracks. Dona and Sanzu were assigned to keep an eye out to see any suspicious activity coming from the Tokyo Police Department (TPD). 

She’d never had an actual conversation with Naoto, only observing him from afar and planting fake evidence to throw his entire investigation in the bin, leaving them to start from scratch.

“I want you to meet him too!” Mira chirped. 

She sat up swiftly when she heard the front gate open. Dona blinked and Mira was gone, already zooming towards the door, opening it and launching herself towards Naoto. 

He stumbled back on impact but held her tight, putting his briefcase down to probably embrace her. He put her back on the ground and gave her a kiss on the lips, the giddiness rolling of Mira in waves as she kissed him back just as eagerly. 

Dona felt a little twitch of jealousy residing in her, wondering if she’ll ever get to experience this kind of love. Being raised in the Kurokawa household, love, care and affection was practically non-existent. 

Since a young age of five she was abandoned by her parents, forced to live with foster parents who tried their best to teach her love and empathy but she was too much of a demon child. 

She was in and out of the foster care system her whole childhood. Her parents were cold, narcissistic and manipulative people who barely cared about each other yet alone their daughter. 

When Dona was ten, she found Izana and the two found out they were cousins. Since then they’ve stuck to each other like glue. 

Izana’s death affected Dona in ways nobody could understand. It took you and Mira almost two years to melt that icy exterior she had built up as a product of her childhood and Izana’s death only brought it up back. She wasn’t herself anymore, truly feeling nothing but loneliness. 

Ran helped her through it, after all they both lost someone they truly cared about. 

Maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to catch feelings for her best friend’s boyfriend but Dona was nothing but selfish, the lack of stability in her life led her to prioritise her own needs and wants in a way to regain a sense of control over her own life. 

Her feelings mattered the most above all. In her mind she started harbouring resentment towards you whenever you’d complain that Ran’s pissed you off again and the two of you are back on break, or when the two of you would get back together after going a whole month of no contact. 

It was fucking annoying seeing you take him for granted. Even now as she looks at Naoto and Mira, she feels resentment rather than joy for her friend finally finding her lifelong partner. 

Kakucho’s recommended therapy to her many times to which she shut that option down almost every time. Kakucho’s been to a couple therapists, liking talking about his feelings to someone now that he doesn’t have Izana around anymore. He knows therapy works and he feels himself becoming a better person and only hopes Dona could put her pride aside and admit she needs to get some help.

“Baby come come I want you to meet my best friend!” Mira dragged him inside, kicking the door closed behind her. “Naoto this is Dona. Dona this is Naoto.”

Naoto extended his hand out, polite and formal and shook Dona’s hand. “Wonderful to meet you.” 

“You too.” Dona smiled awkwardly, retreating her hand away almost instantaneously. 

“I finished cooking! Are your friends on their way?”

Naoto sighed and turned to face his fiancé. “Baby I’m sorry but something came up and they had to go on a mission together. So the party has to be rescheduled.” His heart nearly broke into pieces when he saw the excitement on Mira’s face slowly wash away as she came to the realisation that she wasted a whole day cooking. 

“Really? Aw, okay.” Mira’s shoulders slumped. She looked up at Dona and frowned. “I’m sorry you went through all this for nothing. I wasted your day.”

“No. No it’s fine,” Dona reassured. “I had fun today. Don’t stress.”

“Baby,” Naoto called, getting Mira’s attention. “If you want we can give the food to our neighbours. You know they love your cooking.”

Mira slowly nodded, still disappointed but at least the food won’t go to waste. “Alright, I’ll start packaging them into containers. You two stay here and talk. I want my two favourite people to get to know each other.” Mira said leaving no room for discussion and left the living room. 

Dona swung her arms awkwardly as Naoto took his blazer off and settled on the couch. “So…what do you do?” she asked, trying to make conversation. “I heard something about a promotion?”

Naoto shook his head. “My co-wokers is getting a promotion not me. I’m a detective in the Tokyo Police Department. My promotion was a year ago.”

“Oh! Congratulations. Policing and detective work must be a pretty challenging job huh?”

Naoto nodded. “It has its moments yeah. I meet some assholes on a daily basis but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Dona moved to sit on the armchair next to the couch Naoto is sitting on and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I heard there’s a pretty big case going on in the TPD lately. Something about that criminal group on the news every two business days haha.” Her laugh was nothing but fake, Naoto could sense it but chalked it up to her being an awkward individual. 

Something about Dona seemed off though, he couldn’t quite put a pin on it. Briefly, his eyes searched her body exposed from her clothing to see if there was any tattoos. Bonten members have tattoos to differentiate ranks. All the executives he knows of so far have a tattoo that matched Izana’s necklace on a part of their body, mostly on a recognisable body part.

Manjiro Sano has his on the back of his neck. 

Sanzu Haruchiyo has his on his arm. 

The Haitani Brothers, a more recent breakthrough, have theirs on their throat. 

Those are the only members he knows so far. Dona so far has no visible tattoos and he doesn’t want to be seen as a pervert by asking his fiancé’s best friend if she could take her clothes off for a search. So he drops it.

Dona had a feeling he was onto her with the way he was observing her and praised herself for wearing a long shirt that covers her stomach where her tattoo is. 

“Yes, that’s correct. Bonten has been a priority for the department lately,” Naoto said finally.

“Oh wow. That sounds incredibly dangerous. I hope nobody gets hurt, I know how dangerous they can be. What have they found out?” Naoto looked on guard so she quickly added on, “I’m a huge fan of true crime. Watch it every day at home. It’s really cool.”

Naoto softened a little bit more and exhaled. “I’m sorry Dona but I’m not allowed to go into too much detail about on ongoing investigation. Confidentially and all.”

Dona nodded understandingly. “Of course, I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that it must be so intriguing, the way you police-men deal with these criminals.”

“It can be yes, but its also a lot of  hard work and long hours. I sometimes hate coming home late and entering the house to see Mira asleep. I barely spend time with her.” The constant questioning of Bonten had him feeling uncomfortable so he tested the waters and switched topics back onto Mira. If Dona wasn’t shady, she’d accept the topic had moved on and leave it alone. 

“Poor Mira.” Dona paused for a second and Naoto watched her, observing her. “Do you ever worry about the risks involved? I know Bonten doesn’t play by the rules.”

He knew it. Clearing his throat, he says, “I won’t deny that there are risks but we’re trained for a reason. Our duty is to protect the city and the people.” He stood up from the couch and dusted his clothes. “If you’ll excuse me I have to get changed. It was nice meeting you again.”

“You too!” The second Naoto’s back was turned away from her, her smile fell and she pulled out her phone. Since her evening plans was ruined, she has to find something else to do. She texted Rindou and asked where he is.

~*~

Dona has no idea how she ended up running into you on the street but after exchanging a few words the two of you expressed how you both have nothing to do, you both found yourself wandering the streets together. 

Rindou finally responded to her text, stating he was at Starlight Mirage, one of the hostess clubs owned by Bonten. The idea of Rindou being there with a bunch of pretty girls clinging to him only pissed her off, the horny fuckers but she responded I’ll be there and turned her phone off.

You were sipping on your drink when you saw Dona look up from her phone and begin walking in the other direction. “Wait! Wait hold up!” You jogged to catch up with her, holding her arm to keep her in place. “Where're you going?”

“To a club. Let go.” She shook her arm trying to rid you of it but you held tighter.

“What club? Is it far?”

“A club we own. Now let go,” she said a bit harsher. You let go and kept your hands to your side, mumbling sorry. You made it about two steps when she stopped you with an abrupt call of your name. When you faced her, she had her eyes squeezed shut, lips pressed tight as if mentally preparing herself for what she was doing. “Do you want to come with me?”

You had to scoop your jaw off the floor as wondered why she’s asking you to join her. “What?”

“Don’t make me change my mind,” she said flatly.

“I thought you hated me?”

She shrugged. “You hate me too. What’s the big deal?”

“I don’t hate you Dona. I never did,” you admitted quietly. Dona observed you for a second before sighing.

“You coming or not?” 

You weren’t one to turn down an invitation. You closed the distance and began walking beside her. She had her hands pressed up to her chest as if protecting herself from the chilly breeze. 

“Wait.” You both came to a pause on the busy street and she turned to look at you, eyebrow raised. “You said we’re going to a hostess club right?”

“Yeah? What, you’ve never been?”

You shook your head. “Is this outfit okay?” You gestured to your rather plain outfit, a simple band tee and jeans. Dona pressed her lips tightly and shook her head slowly. 

“Not in the slightest.” She pivoted her head to see if there was an appropriate store to enter and buy you something. “You got money on you?” You reached inside your pocket and pulled out a few bills, a small amount of change barely enough to buy you a meal. She slapped her forehead. “Of course.”

“Hey!”

She ignored you and continued looking around before eyeing a store across the street. It wasn’t something she’d normally go to for dresses, finding the clothes rather cheap looking but desperate times calls for desperate measures. 

The store was playing pop music when you both entered and she told you to pick a dress so she could buy it for you and the both of you could keep on moving.

It’s been fifteen minutes and you still haven’t picked something out yet. You’ve been wandering through the aisles, trying to figure out what to get, what might fit, what might look ugly. Part of you was subconsciously trying to pick something you think Ran might like. Ran likes short clothing mainly, wants to see every inch of your skin exposed, but if he were to choose something long, he’d make sure it had a thigh slit somewhere just so he has access. 

“Oh my god hurry up! You’re taking forever!” Dona exclaimed, checking her phone for the time. 

“I’m sorry! I’m just very picky when it comes to clothes!” You’d been oogling between the short dress and the long dress for the last two minutes. Out of options, you grabbed both of them and showed Dona. “Pick one.”

Dona gave you a ‘seriously?’ look and you nodded eagerly, excited to see which one she chose for you. Rolling her eyes she pointed at the shorter one and you gave the staff the long dress to hang back up and approached the counter. Dona brought out her black card and bought the dress for you. As the receipt was printing, she told you to go and change into it. 

You both exited the shop and made your way towards the club.

~*~

The room was glowing red when you entered. You instantly spotted Rindou seated at the bar with a drink in his hand, exchanging small talk with the bartender as well as another man you never seen before. He had broad shoulders and chest and a goatee. Dona left you behind at the door and walked up to Rindou, surprising him from behind. 

You felt awkward where you stood; none of the men inside the room noticing your presence. Ran was sitting on the couch, his head faced downwards as his attention was absorbed by his phone, engaging in a long text chain with a client. You slowly approached the couch from behind and covered his eyes with your hands, bending low to whisper in his ear, “Guess who?”

His lips curved into a smirk as he instantly recognised your voice despite the soft whisper and tilted his head back to meet your gaze. “Baby, what’re you doing here,” he asked, holding a hand out to guide you around the couch. 

Once you were in front of him, he tugged you to sit down next to him. Your ass hit the plush seat and he lifted your legs to swivel around his lap so you were sitting sideways on the couch.

His hand found itself on your thighs and you clenched them subconsciously at the feeling of his big hand caressing your thigh. 

Mentally, you thanked Dona for picking the short dress just so you can feel more of his touch. 

“I ran into Dona on the street and she was on her way here,” you told him, trying to ignore the way your stomach was doing backflips. He hummed in agreement and you felt the rumble travel through your body. 

Before you could fully get comfortable, a girl walked into the room, readjusting her hoop earrings. “Ran-ran are you ready…?” she coo’d. She was dressed in a lingerie dress with black heels that stopped once she saw you on his lap. “Who the hell are you?”

“I—uh—”

“Not today baby,” Ran said,tilting his head backwards to get a look at her past your body. His hand on your waist squeezed a little tighter when he felt you squirm a little, clearly uncomfortable under her stare.

“But…but you promised last time it was my turn with you,” she said with a pout, her glare not leaving your frame.

You turned to look at Ran who looked apathetic about the situation and the words left your mouth despite how hard you tried to keep them at bay. “You can go if you want to.” 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

Trick question you thought, and you remember your own words from just the other week. No strings attached. It pained you to nod your head slowly, your neck feeling stiff but you powered through it. 

Shifting off his lap, you awkwardly sat on the couch as Ran stood up, dusting his clothes. The girl smiled deviously and latched onto Ran’s arm as the two of them left the room. You pouted and crossed your arms over your chest, feeling petty and bitter about the whole situation. 

“You lonely?” A deep voice comes from behind you. 

Tilting your head back, you see the same guy from before standing behind you. You shrugged, not in the mood for conversation right now. 

He slowly rounded the couch and plopped on the other end, giving you space since he sensed you wanted it. “I’m Mochi by the way. I don’t think we’ve met before.”

You told him your name and went back to pouting. 

“If you want me to leave, say so and I will.”

“No…it’s fine.” You sighed and turned to face him. “Sorry Mochi was it?”

He chuckled. “Forgot my name already?”

“No I’m good with names usually I swear. I’m just…I dunno.” You casted a quick glance over to the door Ran exited from and wondered what exactly they were doing right now. The answer felt obvious to you, what else does a girl wearing lingerie want,  but you were in denial. 

“Distracted? What’s on your mind? Normally when I’m distracted I take something.”

“Take something as in drugs?” You peeked at him. He slowly nodded his head. 

“You’ve never done before?”

“Few times. Not often though.”

“It’s no wonder you look stressed.” He stood from the couch. “Bare with me. I’ll need to grab something from upstairs. Stay here?”

“Okay.” You watched him leave the room and return less than five minutes later with a box in his hands, Sanzu walking in beside him. He had his hands tucked in his pockets, a sardonic smile on his face as he met your eyes. 

“Hey! It’s you!” he called out pointing at you and catching the attention of everyone else in the room. For the first time tonight, Rindou met your eyes and you instantly looked away, unsure how to handle the intensity of his stare. 

Sanzu stood in front of you on the couch and peered down at you. “Mochi said you wanted me to hook you up with something. But I don’t know how Ran would feel about me hooking his bitch up with substances,” he finished, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“First of all,” you stood up from the couch to meet his eye better. “I’m not a bitch. Don’t call me that. And I’m not his bitch. Secondly,  I don’t care how Ran feels. I don’t belong to him, I can do what I want.”

Sanzu paused for a second, his eyebrows rose with shock. “And she bites. You just got even hotter in my book baby.”

You rolled your eyes and sat back down, readjusting your dress on the way. “What drugs do you have?”

Sanzu extended his hand out for you to grab. You took it and he led you towards the table in the back corner of the room, Mochi following behind the two of you. The two men sat down on either side of you, sandwiching you between their bodies. It made you uncomfortable but at the same time excited you because for some reason, you weren’t scared of these two guys even though you should be. Their closeness calmed you, like a hot bath on a cold night. If only Ran was there too.

“So Mochi," Sanzu started as Mochi set the little box on the table, "which girl do you plan taking home tonight? I saw this one bitch earlier, she had a tongue piercing. So sexy. You barely see that shit 'round here unless they're on some freaky shit."

Mochi shook his head, a mischievous grin lighting up his face. “Nah I know who you're talking about. She's too skinny for me. Like my women big and curvy."

"Like big tits or big elsewhere?" Sanzu inquired.

You rolled your eyes, fighting back the urge to cover your ears as the two of them spoke about women like that. Your ears were burning and you huffed, watching Sanzu reach for the box and begin pulling out each item separately. First came liquid methadone in a small glass bottle, then a lighter followed by a pipe, and finally two more small bottles containing pills and strips of paper. 

Sanzu separated the pills into four piles; 1, 3, 5, and 10 milligrams and showed them to you. 

“These are different doses depending on what type of high you want to get.  Top pill is 10mg, this next one here is 5mg and so on. The black bag there contains amphetamines and opiates to treat the comedown after a good hit."

“Uh okay, sure. Whatever that means.” You replied as he began tearing off the labels. When you asked for drugs these weren't the type of drugs you were expecting. You expected marijuana or something, that's the only drug you were comfortable doing by yourself. Not this...hardcore stuff.

"Do you um have anything less intense?" You turned to your right and already saw Sanzu with his sleeve up, injecting himself in his arm with a needle.

"No." He snapped at you, turning back around. You could tell he didn't like being questioned but this was the most real answer you'd gotten so far.

The needle pierced through his skin and you flinched in spite of yourself.

"Let me guess, you haven't done any hard drugs before and are nervous about it." Sanzu eyed you carefully. You nodded and he sighed loudly, rolling his sleeve back down and passing the vial to Mochi. "You see this is why I said Ran wouldn't be pleased about this."

Mochi rolled his eyes. "Who cares." He closed the vial and put it back in the box, setting it aside.

Sanzu leaned forward in his chair and pointed the tip of his finger at you, poking you lightly in the chest. "Remember, you're a grown ass woman and you can do whatever the fuck you want to do." You could tell whatever he injected into himself started to get to him as he got that dazed look in his eyes.

"I know I'm grown. That doesn't mean I can't be nervous still though." You felt self conscious of yourself now, knowing you looked ridiculous sitting across the table from these two men as they popped bottles of pills, played with needles, and even lit a joint. "Which do you reccomened for a beginner to try?" you asked Sanzu and Mochi who began thinking deeply.

Mochi hovered his hand around the litany of drugs on the table and picked up the smallest pile of white pills. "This is Valium, It'll calm you down and make you relaxed."

Sanzu shook his head. "No you idiot. Don't give that to her." Sanzu began grabbing for the stack of pills, all stacked up neatly in a triangle shape. He grabbed for a pinkish colored pill, tossing it over to you. "This is Vicodin. It's stronger than valium and will give you a better high overall. Also, its effect lingers longer than valium so if you use it sparingly it won't leave you feeling down after a while." He takes the pill from Mochi's hands and puts it in his palm, holding both palms out towards you. "Choose babygirl."

You hesitated. Maybe you shouldn't do this...but you also really wanted to. Afterall, you were bored. "Vicodin please."

Sanzu nodded and handed Mochi the Valium pill. "Open up," he said softly at you. He gripped your chin and you opened your mouth wide for him to place the pill inside. It slipped down your throat easily. He pulled away, pushing his fingers towards the back of your head to force you to look him in the eye.

"Do you feel alright?" he asked you quietly, stroking your cheek gently.

"I don't feel any different..." you told him honestly. You just sat there and waited to see what happened next. Nothing seemed to happen at first, other than the ringing in your ears beginning to fade. "So how long until it kicks in?" you mumbled to him.

Sanzu stared at you. "Give it about thirty minutes. If not then an hour." He clapped his hands together loudly, the sound startling you and making you jump. "I feel mines kicking in already." He gave you another smile, looking almost proud.

The two of them started talking about something you didn't care about again and you zoned them out, focusing on seeing if you felt any different. Ten...fifteen minutes pass and you feel the same. Finally, thirty minutes later you started to feel like something had changed. It was subtle, but you knew it was happening. The world became clearer and things around you started to move slightly slower than before. Everything around you seemed sharper and you could sense colors vibrating on the edge of your vision. Your brain felt clearer too, your thoughts getting more straight and concise. All you could think about was the feeling of this clean, smoothness pulsing in your body.

Conversation flowed smoothly between the three of you and you began having fun, you felt more animated and extroverted. Eventually, you were a little too buzzed to carry on a normal conversation and fell asleep on the couch. You woke up around ten minutes later with a tap on your shoulder. Looking up, you saw Ran standing over you, concerned at the state of you.

He squatted down in front of you, pressing his palm on your forehead. "You don't have a fever. You tired or something?" he asked, removing his hand from your forehead to rest on his knees. You blinked slowly at him, realizing you were tired and sore, feeling rather sluggish.

Now that your eyes were fully open, you noticed the teeny tiny fading love bite on the corner of his jaw and frowned. "I'm fine," you said snappily, pushing your legs off the couch and stood upright. Your legs were tingly and felt like thousands of needles were stabbing you from the inside and vowed to never take a pill from Sanzu again.

"Ah she's awake!" Sanzu called out from his corner of the room. He was sitting at a table playing cards with a few more people that you don't recognise. A simple look around the room confirmed Dona and Rindou had left.

Sanzu waved you over and you didn't hesitate leaving Ran's side, too mad at him to stay by him and walked over to Sanzu. "This is Benkei and Wakasa." He introduced each person and you nodded politely.

"I hope we didn't wake you," Benkei said smiling at you.

You shook your head pointed at Ran with your thumb who was now standing behind you. His chest against your back so suddenly almost startled you, but you kept your composure. His arm snaked around your shoulders possessively when he caught Wakasa's lingering eyes on your form and subtly pulled you closer towards him.

"She's still high," Sanzu snickered, pointing at you and taking a swig of his beer.

"What?" Ran asked and turned you to face him. He held your face up and examined you carefully. Your eyes were puffy and red and looked a bit glassy as well, you were clearly intoxicated. "Was gone for half an hour and you already got her popping pills," he directed his statement at Sanzu who smiled widely at you.

You rolled your eyes at him and pushed his hands off your face. "What do you care anyway? And you were gone for longer than that."

"You counted or something? What difference does it make?" Ran countered.

"None," you huffed and crossed your arms. You turned back around and took the seat between Sanzu and Benkei, ignoring the way Sanzu peered back at Ran, grinning even wider than before and readjusted his seat further into the table. "How do you play this game? Cards is it?"

Wakasa picked up the deck and placed it in your lap. "Let me show you," he said softly, handing you the deck of cards and giving you a soft smile.

Rindou re-entered the room with Dona behind him, the two of them calling Ran over. He was hesitant to leave you by yourself with the three men, but decided to give you your space because he could tell you were angry at him right now.

Dona reached up and hugged Ran once he approached the two of them. "Hey, you okay?" she asked, noticing tense he looked.

Rindou looked around the room, his eyes locking in on the sight of Wakasa standing next to you, bent downwards to talk into your ear as he explained and taught you how to play cards. 

"Oh," he breathed softly before bursting into laughter. "Your girl got stolen huh?"

Ran shook his head and slouched against the wall. "We all know who she's gonna run back to at the end of the day." The funny part is that he wasn't lying. Rindou knows that, Dona knows that, Ran definitely knows that and even you do. Rindou and Dona have been far too acquainted with that fact on many occasions. 

"You're so cocky it's sick," Dona mimes gagging. "For my own entertainment I hope she runs off with Wakasa."

"Don't be like that Dona." Ran dug into his pocket, pulling out some extra notes he had laying around and held it in front of her. "Go get yourself laid and release all that stress."

"I'm not stressed!"

"Yeah right," Rindou laughed, ignoring the way Dona redirected her glare to him. "When's the last time you got laid?"

Dona crossed her arms and shrugged. "Like a few months ago. I dunno."

"Damn, no wonder you're bitchy tonight," Mochi said from the couch.

"You wanna see bitchy?" Dona strode forward and dumped her leftover glass of beer on top of his head. 

Ran and Rindou started cackling at the sight of a wet Mochi and Dona tossed the empty glass on the floor, walking back over to Ran and taking the cash from his hands. "Fuck maybe you're right. I do need to get laid."

"Have fun yeah." Ran slapped her ass as she went past him, yelping at the sting and pouting before walking out of the room.

"You think she has any luck?" Rindou asked, moving to stand opposite his brother.

"Men here are desperate. They'll pay their life savings just to see a pretty girls panties."

"Don't act like women aren't the same either. They'll strip to the floor at the sight of both you two idiots," Mochi said as he approached them, wiping the remaining beer from his face with a towel.

"As they should." Ran grinned. 

“Go take a shower man, you stink,” Rindou grumbled at Mochi.

"Speaking of strip I want my girl back now.” Ran lifted himself off the walls standing up straight “I'll be back gentleman."

By now, Waka had returned back to his seat opposite you as the four of you played cards, Sanzu currently winning three games in a row. You tried to concentrate on the game but every now and then, Benkei would rest his hand on your leg and his fingers would brush across your skin, sending tingles down your spine.

Ran strode towards you, his voice startling you by your ear. "C'mon baby lemme take you home." You leaned your head back, wanting to look him in the eye, and caught sight of his cheekbones, high forehead and nose before your eyes drifted downward to those full lips. You nodded without hesitation and he held his hand out, helping you slip out of the chair.

"Aw man you're going home already?" Waka exaggerated his disappointment as you slipped away. "You didn't even finish this game."

"I wasn't going to win anyway," you responded back before slipping your arms through Ran's blazer that he took off himself to hand to you. You mouthed a thank you to him and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, grabbing your bag and holding it close to him.

By the time you returned home, it was almost 2 in the morning. You phone had died earlier in the day, missing all of Shion's calls and texts. Ran parked his car outside Shion's apartment complex and rode the elevator up with you. You rang the doorbell, your brain too sluggish to attempt and use your keys.

Shion opened the door and almost immediately glared at Ran. If Ran was surprised to see Shion, he didn't show it; a subtle eyebrow raise that was blind to everyone's eye.

You stumbled inside the house, mumbling that you're sleepy. You beelined straight for the bedroom, collapsing on the bed. Meanwhile, Shion stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him. "What the fuck did you do to her?"

"Me?" Ran shrugged and shook his head. "Nothing."

"She's drunk! Or high or whatever! I swear to God if you did something Ran, I'll—"

"You'll what? Kill me? With what."

Shion pulled out a gun he kept in his pants and pointed it at his forehead. The action meant to be threatening yet, the expression on Ran's face remained unphased. 

"Ooh, where'd you get that. That's illegal in Japan, ya know?" Ran noticed the safety was still on.

"I have connections you dumbass. Don't bother asking. You're not getting an answer."

"Kill me then," Ran suggested. "Just a pull on a trigger and all your problems and insecurities will be solved." Shion's brow furrowed as he contemplated it. Ran leaned forward, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Just know if you do, might as well kiss any chance you got with her away. She'll hate you forever and you know that."

"You don't know shit."

"Really?" Ran smiled, taking the opportunity to lean closer to Shion. "I'm not a theorist but..." Ran grabbed the gun easily from Shion's hands and Shion watched in confusion as he removed the safety and put the gun back in Shion's hands. Ran grabbed Shion's wrist and repositioned the gun back at his forehead. "Go on shoot me. Prove my theory wrong. It's a clean shot. Go on," he goaded.

Shion's breathing got heavier for a moment before his eyes cleared, a stern expression on his face. The anger on his face diminished as he put his arm down, letting it fall limp to his sides.

"Exactly," Ran spat, dusting down his suit. "I'll be taking this." He snatched the gun from Shion's hands, pocketing it in his own waistband before patting Shion on the head condescendingly, taking advantage of the clear height difference. "Can't be letting little boys run around here wtih one of these. They're dangerous y'know?"

"Get the fuck out before I call the police," Shion growled.

"How adorable. Relying on police to save your ass." Ran sighed, shaking his head disappointedly. "Tell her I'll see her tommorow yeah?" Shion glared at him and waited for Ran to walk towards the elevator before re-entering his house. He walked towards the bedroom where he knows you'd be. He saw you laying on the bed, half asleep, half awake and flopped down beside you.

“You awake?” he called quietly in a whisper.

You grumbled a noise in response, sounding like a yes and no. Shion took a moment before saying, “Who would you pick? Me or him?” He was met with silence. He shifted a little closer to you and called your name again, met with more silence. 

Must’ve fallen asleep, he thought, ignoring that nagging part of him thinking how weirdly coincidental that was but left the room anyway, leaving you to sleep. The second the door shut you opened your eyes and frowned. Deep down you knew the answer to that, but the question made you feel so awkward it was best to avoid. But you had a feeling he’d ask you about it again in the morning. 

Meanwhile, Shion pulled out his phone and texted Dona that the plan failed, Ran is hanging out you again. She doesn’t respond instantly like she normally does so Shion understandingly gets frustrated. He scrolled through his contacts when he found someone to text.

Shion: I need a favour

He responded back almost instantly.

Hanma Shuji: how cute of you to text me at 2am. Maybe if you beg ill be able to grant your wish

Shion: don’t make this fucking weird can we meet later or not?

Hanma Shuji: what’s in it for me? Im a busy man

Shion: You get to piss off Ran Haitani. Thats what.

Hanma Shuji: interesting…

Hanma Shuji: You got yourself a deal.

pls lmk how you found this chapter!!! i was trying a new writing style so if you could tell me if you enjoyed it or not that'll rlly help my writing and motivation thank you guyssss !!!

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[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Greg “Mouse” Gerwitz: Crazy 

You stormed down to the tech lab anger and panic filling the space in your chest. You see your boyfriend sitting in front of a computer typing on a computer with headphones on. He is clearly absorbed in his work and doesn’t notice you until you make it into his peripheral vision. He glances up and into a window seeing your reflection behind him. He swivels in his chair, a smile on his face at the sight of you. It quickly drops off his face when he notices your expression. “Baby...?” 

“When were you going to tell me?” You demand, stopping a foot in front of him. He sits up straighter in his chair and you can tell he is evaluating you. Your jaw is tight with tension, arms crossing over your chest in a distinctively closed-off position. Putting distance between you and him and defending yourself from the emotional blow you felt was coming. 

When Mouse found no clues but anger on your face, he started searching his memory for things that could have brought on this confrontation. He came up empty-handed. You two had always had a very open way of communication, something Mouse wasn’t used to, that often killed problems before they had time to develop. “You know, I’m a lot better at this whole thing when I actually know what we are fighting about.”  

You scoffed at him, shaking your head in disbelief. Your frustration and anger with him were building and you could feel it getting ready to explode through your chest. Mouse could see the emotions bubbling up inside you. He tried to defuse the situation. He stayed calm keeping his voice even as he slid his chair closer to you instead of standing to keep himself smaller. “Hey baby, c’mon now. Talk to me.”  

His hands reached for your hips to try to soothe you. You push the folded paper against his chest a little harder than necessary. You pull your hand back and watch the paper drop into his lap. “I’m talking about this! I can’t believe you didn’t have the decency to give me a heads up, or I don’t know have a conversation before making life-altering decisions for us.” Mouse’s confused blue gaze stayed on you, as he grappled for the paper and unfolded it. He looked down to see what the fuss was about. He stilled when he saw the paper. “Well, say something!” You demand when he stays silent.  

He looks back up at you, blue eyes soft. “Sweetheart, I think you have the wrong idea.” He says gently but it only has the effect of amping you up even more. It sounds like a brush-off- him condescending you. 

“I’m not stupid. It’s a release to go back to your unit. The Ranger’s 75th unit.” Your voice is getting louder, and you are pointing at him angrily. He stays strangely calm as he offers the half-filled paper back out to you. 

“Yeah, you're right. But sweetie look at the date.” His long finger taps the top corner of the page where the date is printed in black ink. You had seen it before it was dated out a month ago. But when your eyes scan back over the page you notice the year. The paper wasn’t from a month ago but a year and a month ago. Your mouth parts into a silent O as your arms drop down. You reach for the paper and Mouse hands it over without any resistance. You bring the paper back up to reread again to make sure that your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. 

This time when Mouse reaches for your hips you don’t take a step back. “I-wait what?” You mumble as you rake a hand through your hair. He smoothed his hands down your sides and to your thighs. He pulled you closer to him easing you down onto his lap. He traces his hand down your thigh. 

“I was offered to go back to my unit last year. They needed a proficient comms tech. I was struggling with being out of the field here. I felt like...” He paused still struggling with emotions though it had become easier. “Like it would be best for me to go back. Back where I knew that I was the good guy.” 

You searched his blue eyes, “What happened?” 

“I had a felony.” You tried not to let the shock show on your face. You knew that he had done some sketchy things when he got back from the service, but you didn’t know that he had caught a felony. “It was nothing crazy. I was caught with a truck of stolen Blu-Ray players.” He coughs as he adds, “And hacking into the Department of Defense.”  

“You what- why would you hack- you know what, it doesn’t even matter.” Mouse gave you a grateful nod- though he would have told you. “So, you couldn’t go.” He tilted his head back and forth indecisively. 

“Not necessarily, I just needed to get it expunged from my record.” 

“But you couldn’t?” You rub his arm comfortingly. You were trying to squash your gratefulness that it hadn’t worked out for him. If it had the two of you would have ever been here now. In the relationship with a man, you loved.  

He smiled fondly at you, “I did actually.” 

“Then why-?” He squeezed your thigh firmly. 

“Well, I was on my way to convince Jay to help me get it expunged. When I bumped into this beautiful girl at the coffee shop.” The breath caught in your chest. You search his face, a warm loving smile on his lips. He cupped your cheek, tracing your cheekbone with a calloused thumb.  

“You gave it up for a girl you just met? That crazy.” 

“No, I still went through the motions to go back. Keep in contact with my supervisor, went through the process to get my felony expunged.” He paused seeing the tears mist your eyes. Wiping away the tear when it rolled down your cheek. “But I spent time with you too. By the time I got the paper signed for my record to be cleared, I didn’t want to leave you. I knew if I did that would be the end of it for us. And I knew something was there. You were a light in my life. Leaving that without giving it a real shot- that would have been crazy.” 

I hate that Mouse left. Now I changed it so that he gets to stay. <3 I’m starting a tag list if you would like to be added, just leave a comment saying so. 

[stay-tiny-ville]

Seo Changbin

Summary ~ what you can catch me daydreaming about when I think is Seo Changbin ☺️ (or just dating head cannons for my first bias of Stray Kids; Seo Changbin)

A.N - I don’t know why but my phone, which is what I edit and write on a small portion of the time, always autocorrects Changbin to CHANGBIN and I can’t tell you how many times it has auto capitalized and I’ve had to go back and fix it smh

A.N. 2 - Binnie is and was my bias when I first discovered Stray Kids and was my best friend’s too at the time, and while I lean more now towards OT8, Binnie will always be my first love

A.N. 3 - at this point I’m just doing all the Stray Kids members before I move on to Ateez, and while I’m in my current Atiny obsessed phase, I’m still trying to figure out who they are and what they’re love is like. But I’m getting there :)

———————————————————

A hot take that some may not agree with - I don’t think he’d date someone taller than him. I know short kings and tall queens get together a lot but I don’t think Bin is someone to date someone taller purely on the fact I feel like he’s made fun of a lot, and while he acts like it doesn’t affect him much—dating someone taller would definitely amp it up

Just my thoughts 🤷🏻‍♀️

Love, sweetheart, lovely, sweets, baby, are what I think he would call you

Holds his arm around your neck and ohmygod he knows what those muscles do

Whenever you’re waiting for something/someone or just hanging out around the dorms he brings you to him by your waist and sits you between his legs, back facing him

Would ask you to go to the gym with him and never in the “you need to workout” way, he’d only mention it once asking if you want to workout with him and depending on your answer he never asks again

He only asked at the beginning for company for him :)

If you started to workout while dating he would ask to be your trainer and would be so gentle with you and not hurt your body

Plus he’s extra protective on the equip where you could hurt yourself

Would tell you he is so proud of you when you progress :(

Pays for absolutely everything and steals your card and hides it (tells you about it so you don’t think it’s actually stolen lmao)

Sometimes he just kneels down in front of you to give you a piggyback ride or sometimes (a lot) he just turns you to face him and lifts you and you wrap your arms and legs around him like a koala

Does it so much that you instinctively lift your arms when he moves to lift you

He brings you to the studio and has a sort of kit of his hoodies and blankets for you to lay on the couch with

You normally stay awake with him and he knows you’re awake by your tapping noises on your phone

But when the noises fade slowly he turns his chair around to you drifting and his rolls his chair over to you

You look at him and he softly smiles at you before he lifts you onto his lap

You sit so you’re straddled him and your head rests on his shoulder

If you’re awake when he does that sometimes you play with the hair on the back of his neck and he kisses your head

If you sleep he takes frequent breaks from working to kiss your head/neck or he just sits back and wraps his one arm around your back and the other rests on the back of your head

When you wake (because he wouldn’t dare wake you by getting up) he stops all work and sits back to watch you wake all the way up again

His hands going back to their place on your back and head

He smiles and says “There you are” when you smile back at him

He kisses your forehead and you fall back into his chest

He always makes sure you are healthy and eating/being hydrated

Personally I struggle with staying hydrated and I know he always carries a bottle with him for you

The absolute biggest baby girl but the biggest scary dog privilege too

If you dress up for date night in dresses he would gasp, eyes wide and have you do little spins :((

Will bark at people if he has to

If it isn’t obvious I just want to be held by him

But laying on his lap omfg THOSE THIGHS

Like Maniac got me in a chokehold

Poppin fr

Loves your laugh, your smile, your bright eyes, and would do absolutely anything to bring out any of it

Honestly in no way shape or form is Changbin loved as much as he should be and it hurts my Binnie beloved heart and I will die before he thinks he’s not as loved as the rest of the group

[ning-ningx300]

hi ning do you mind if I vent? Using this emoji since I think no one knows who it is

I’m usually a happy person, always silly I’ve also been sensitive, and lately that’s been amped up to 100 since it’s that time of the month. I’m so stressed lately, and maybe the fact that I’m away from my parents and home is also the problem. I’m living with my grandma and uncle for now since parents are preparing and working for something, and I don’t fault them. But I can still hate living in what I call a hellhole because my younger sister gets spoiled beyond limits, and my grandma always complains about the both of us being addicted to the phone (she called my sister an addict yesterday) and while I love both of them (my sister more so because she’s a lovely girl most of the time and she’s also really young) I can’t help but hate it when they send us here. my grandmother says I talk back, but I thought I was just offering a comment,( “stop that mama, you can see he doesn’t like it”) and she tells me I’m talking back. She went on a rant about it last night before we slept, but I wasn’t talking back, was I? I thought I was just defending myself because she said it was our fault her phone was going to break when my sister was the only one using it and her argument was that I was using my phone while it was charging and that it’ll be our fault if the phones explode. She talked about it a lot more but I shut her out and covered my ears as I turned on the other bed and tried to sob quietly.

my uncle’s house (they live in a sort of apartment complex, idk how to explain it) is the only place I feel safe. I don’t get scolded for using my own phone and living my fucking life as a teenager who wants to play games. He encourages me to eat, and my aunt (who I’m so grateful for) has let me cry in front of her without feeling judged possibly more times I can count.

I don’t know when I’ll go home, but if I have to stay here I would rather stay in his house than my grandmother’s.

-🪷

FIRST OF ALL HUGS FOR YOU POOKIE AND I GET WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH I ALSO LIVE IN A BIG FAMILY ACTUALLLYY WITH MY GRANDMA AND SHE COMPLAINED A LOT- I'M USING PAST TENSE AS I STARTED LIVING WITH MY BOYFRIEND

OLD PEOPLE ARE LIKE THAT NGL, THEY TAUNT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT PHONES AND GADGETS AND STUFF A LOT.....

ITS OKAY, ITS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT OKIE? U ARE STRONG!!! YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE SOUND SO NICE FRRR

I HOPE YOU GO BACK HOME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND THERE WAS NO FAULT OF YOURS FOR SPEAKING UP ACTUALLY, DON'T THINK IT WAS YOUR FAULT. I DID THAT A LOT TOO, TALK BACK SOMETIMES BECAUSE I GOT ANNOYED AND IT HAPPENS BUT DON'T THINK IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

ALL THE HUGS AND CHOCOS COMING FOR YOU!

:(

[sparkluvr]

agere prowl + caregiver jazz braindump :3

I think Prowl’s regression would initially be involuntary. When pushed past its limit, his tac-net will offline itself and go into a hard reset. meaning he suddenly goes from perceiving thousands of sensations at once to almost nothing. He was forged so he never experienced being a sparkling, but this is essentially his version of it. It’s extremely disorienting, but also freeing? It’s the first time in a very long time that he’s able to just .. exist 

Since his regression is involuntary, he eventually decides to tell Jazz. A hard conversation now is safer than waiting for Jazz to accidentally find out, but he’s still expecting some kind of negative reaction. On the contrary, Jazz is very happy to be trusted with something like this! He’s actually the one to suggest that Prowl try regressing on purpose, even buying him some sparkling toys and snacks so he can get fully immersed. They never officially discussed Jazz being his caregiver, but it’s such a natural fit that neither felt the need. 

Being a caregiver is extremely cathartic for Jazz. He’s always taken pleasure in taking care of his conjunx, and there’s such an intense level of trust and vulnerability needed for something like this .. it’s intimate in a way he didn’t know he needed

On bad days Prowl regresses to a younger age, probably around 3ish by our standards. This leaves him needy, crying but nonverbal until Jazz can calm him down and redirect his feelings somewhere else. Those days are definitely lazier, with Jazz usually getting him settled in bed with a few snacks, his plushies, and something silly pre-loaded onto a datapad for them to watch together

He regresses to around 8ish on good days, leaving him super hyper and excited to play! Jazz loves to dance and make music with him to help work off his excess energy, before moving onto something calmer like coloring. Prowl spends more time babbling about whatever’s on his mind than he does actually coloring, yapping his little spark out while Jazz happily nods along

Speaking of!! Since Prowl was forged with Praxian as his primary language, he’s bad to get a heavyyy accent while regressed and verbal, especially when he’s distressed or excited. It can be hard to follow, but he doesn’t seem to notice when Jazz lulls in the conversation, content to carry on whatever train of thought he’s riding now 

Plushies are his preferred way to play, so he’s got lots stashed away. While coloring is definitely fun when he’s got Jazz to talk to, it can be reallyyy boring solo. Plus, playing with his plushies gives him a creative outlet he doesn’t normally allow himself outside of regression, with each plush having their own backstory! Jazz will sometimes redirect him by asking about them and having him introduce them all, nodding along like it’s the most interesting thing in the world while Prowl explains why Teddy got detention AGAIN! 

His favorite plush is a weighted penguin Jazz got him many, many years ago. I think it’d look something like this!

Aside from that, Jazz also got him a toy drum-kit so they could play together! They’re designed to dampen the noise so Prowl doesn’t get overstimulated, but he’s still able to jam out to his hearts content. Jazz usually plays on electric instruments for the same reason, using an amp to manually adjust the volume as needed