#he doesn’t even learn his ACTUAL true origins in nibelheim

[rosy-crow]

Even in the most recent Ultimania, Square is like, “We literally don’t know who the fuck this guy is and neither does he.”

[rosaguard]

❀ . ━  ❛ ON AERIS SELF-ACCEPTANCE VS CLOUD'S DISASSOCIATION.

not sure if you’re accepting this still but … 🌺 + cloud’s disassociation? when it comes to piecing his true self back together do you think aeris would have a hand in it, or would tifa still have that pivotal role? also thoughts on when he does come more to his senses, talks about zack and who cloud really is? I’ve always had the feeling she knew. originally asked by vacillatus.

first off, i’m sorry for taking so long to answer this but honestly i’m glad i did wait! i started replaying the game and now that i’ve gotten passed disc one, i feel that my answer is going to be different ( and honestly better than if i had answered it earlier ). this might be lengthy because i need to properly address certain points about the original canon story before even going into my au. i will also be using this ask as an opportunity to address the general complexities of aeris and cloud’s relationship that tends to be glossed over by both canon and fanon so this answer is in parts with the latter half of the question actually being answered first. so with that said…let’s begin!

for starters, aeris technically already plays an indirect role in the lifestream sequence in the original game depending on if you see the maiden who travels the planet canon or not. for any who don’t know what it is, it’s a novel about aeris’s time in the lifestream after her death that leads up to the end of the game. one of the biggest moments in it is that when cloud falls into the lifestream after giving sephiroth the black materia, aeris is able to ‘see’ all that has happened since she died via his memories. she is shocked and doesn’t want to believe cloud isn’t real when sephiroth claims cloud is a clone. it’s not only until she meets zack in the lifestream that she learns the truth about cloud and nibelheim but she can’t do anything to help.

eventually when he and tifa fall into the lifestream, aeris is able to help guide ‘tifa’s conscious into cloud’s heart’ ( don’t ask me how that even works ) so that tifa can help him while also not be intoxicated by the mako. essentially, she helps tifa be able to help cloud.

so ‘if’ this novel is canon then 1). aeris doesn't fully know who the real cloud was until after she dies. she is shown to be shocked and confused after learning the truth:

aeris cried as she thought about the shattered cloud that even her prayers wouldn’t reach. his wrecked character could no longer be fixed. if he wasn’t cloud in the first place then, who was he? knowing him only as a former member of SOLDIER, there was no way she could guess. she embraced the feeling of helplessness that she couldn’t put into words.

“i felt something odd about him but was everything really just made up and part of his false character? cloud wasn’t real at all? …no, that can’t be true. there were things that only cloud could think of. things that he done because he was cloud. he was never an empty vessel to begin with!“ but she couldn’t figure out the truth. her thoughts just went in circles.

it isn’t until tifa helps cloud that aeris finally says she knows the ‘real’ cloud:

she was happy. she was happy that she now knew the real cloud and was able to watch over him, even though it was just for a short while.

basically i’m not fond of the idea of aeris knowing fully who cloud is as it never really made sense to me personally. aeris isn’t omnipresent - she doesn't seem to fully know zack is dead ( at least in the original game ).

2). tifa is the only one who can piece together the ‘true’ cloud and always will be. zack is dead, sephiroth is….sephiroth, and aeris was never there to begin with. one of the most important things about my canon is that i go out of my way to make sure the original events still play out mostly the same ( ex. aeris doesn’t die but sephiroth’s attack leaves her weakened which allows holy to still be held back by sephiroth just like in the game ). the lifestream sequence is an important, intimate moment between cloud and tifa regardless if you view them platonically or romantically so i have no desire to change it.

so with all of that said, what is different in the ‘aeris lives’ version of this? well like i’ve said before, there are bits and pieces of the maiden that travels the planet that have inspired me and i’m using for my own purposes. aeris’s development in vii is about self-discovery and accepting her role as a cetra - learning how to properly manipulate the planet’s energy is a part of that. working with the lifestream/planet’s energy is something that’s mentioned multiple times in relation to the cetra:

a race who lived on the planet from long ago, and who possessed the ability to speak with the planet. Also known as the ‘cetra’. the ancients are said to have opened up lifestream veins in the land, working to make the planet fertile. ( source ).

ifalna: …i can’t explain it very well, but it’s like having a conversation with the planet… it said something fell from the sky making a large wound. thousands of cetra pulled together, trying to heal the planet… but, due to the severity of the wound, it was only able to heal itself, over many years.

gast: do the Ancients, rather, the cetra, have special powers to heal the planet?

ifalna: no, it’s not that kind of power. the life force of all living things on this planet becomes the energy. the cetra tried desperately to cultivate the land so as not to diminish the needed energy…

aeris: that’s right. one person’s power alone won’t do it. somewhere special. where there’s plenty of the planet’s energy…

this is how aeris helps tifa stay alive in the lifestream in order to help cloud as well as bring forth the lifestream to stop meteor once it touches down. basically, aeris does not play a major role in piecing cloud together ( although i have mentioned previously that in this altered canon, tifa does confide in aeris about how she remembers nibelheim differently. post edit: which rebirth has now made canon. yay! ). instead, her role is keeping them alive which is still incredibly important!

so now it’s time to dive deeper into aeris, cloud and his dissociation. this is…a strange and difficult subject to cover simply because some of this is based around personal interpretation + aeris becomes increasingly reclusive after cosmos canyon so it’s hard to analyze how she feels at times. i’ve already established that i don’t think she fully knew his true identity but she is more than aware of there being something ‘off’ about him even though she never directly states it in-game. i don’t think you can talk about aeris’s feelings on cloud’s ‘true’ identity without talking about her secretive / emotionally reclusive nature first.

aeris is an open person…when it comes to everyone else except her. it’s actually rare to hear her thoughts and feelings directly and when we do…it’s honestly usually vague. even when she’s trying to be ‘open’, she still manages to alienate herself:

click to view images.

she also tends to avoid oversharing such as specifically stopping herself from revealing information after telling the party that they should focus on going after sephiroth:

aeris: and… i’m sorry, forget it! i think I’m tired. i’m going to bed now. *runs upstairs.*

when we first met her, aeris doesn’t know what the white materia does yet throughout her journey, you can see that her connection with planet has gotten much stronger. she clearly has learned new information about the planet, the capital of her ancestors, and the white materia between cosmos canyon and the events at the temple of the ancients yet she doesn’t share them until she talks to cloud while he’s sleeping:

aeris: this forest leads to the city of the ancients… and is called the sleeping forest. it’s only a matter of time before sephiroth uses meteor. that’s why I’m going to protect it. only a survivor of the cetra, like me, can do it.

i believe that aeris was able to get stronger because she finally got out of midgar ( a city that was literally sucking the life out of the planet ) since staying in one place was actually against what the cetra were in practice. they were meant to travel / ‘journey’ across the planet and ‘speak’ with it as those who did settle in one place eventually lost the ability to speak with the planet:

aeris: the cetra were born from the planet, speak with the planet, and unlock the planet.

sephiroth: this planet originally belonged to the cetra. cetra was a itinerant* race. they would migrate in, settle the planet, then move on.

*itinerant means to travel from place to place.

aeris: someday i’ll get out of midgar… speak with the planet and find my promised land.

elder hargo: the life of the ancients is one continuous journey. a journey to grow trees and plants, produce animals, and to raise mako energy.

aeris: you search and travel, until you feel it. like you just know, ’…this is the promised land.’

the closest we actually get to hearing aeris’s direct feelings on what’s happening with cloud is in her last conversation with him:

aeirs: oh… then, why don’t you REALLY worry about it? and let me handle sephiroth. and cloud, you take care of yourself. so you don’t have a breakdown, okay?

while her priority is sephiroth and protecting the planet, she still clearly cares about cloud and decides to take care of the situation on her own because he currently isn’t well enough for it. next i want to discuss is the golden saucer date. it’s another example of aeris’s tendency to be unclear when opening herself up:

click to view images.

this moment during aeris’s date with cloud is the source for the theory that aeris knew cloud wasn’t who he was. aeris mentions how cloud and ‘him’ ( zack ) were alike and she saw ‘him’ in cloud at first but she realizes that they are different now. i’ve already stated that i disagreed with the idea that aeris knew who cloud really was earlier so i’m not going to completely rehash that, however, there is another reason why i disagree with it. i think that people tend to focus so heavily on the foreshadowing about cloud that they aren’t actually thinking about aeris and her feelings in this scene.

aeris has canon feelings for cloud and i think this scene is her saying that she wants to truly get to know him after seeing so much of zack, her ex, in him first. she specifically mentions that to zack himself in the lifestream ( the translation for this reads kind of awkwardly in my opinion ):

aeris: and that’s your bad point. you’re not simplistic and awkward like cloud. zack: is that what you liked, aeris? aeris: who knows. things might have changed after five years.

*the maiden that travels the planet was written before crisis core was released and aeris is clearly shown to have moved on here yet crisis core contradicts this by having her still write zack nearly five years after he’s gone missing. this is one of the reasons why it’s kind of iffy on whether this novel is canon or not but this blog clearly doesn’t care about canon anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

now we’re going to move on to the events at the temple of the ancients which i honestly think are some of the most important moments between the two. we finally start delving into cloud not being….well, cloud. the first is when they’re looking at the murals of meteor on the walls and cloud starts disassociating and we get this response from aeris:

click to view images.

if aeris had any concerns or suspicious about cloud’s behavior, i think this scene ( and this entire section of the game ) officially confirms them. what’s most interesting is aeris’s response to say that everything is fine ( and forces the other party member to agree ) despite how bad the situation continues to grow before sephiroth eventually forces cloud to hand him the black materia. again, aeris tries to console him while he continues to breakdown:

click to view images.

before finally, cloud ( controlled by sephiroth ) pushes aeris down and begins to uncontrollably attack her. he doesn’t stop until the second party member comes and knocks him out. this is a very overlooked scene - one that i had honestly forgotten about myself until some fans began to question whether it would be cut or not in the remake. it’s intense and uncomfortable and its something that has to be addressed openly between cloud and aeris in my ‘aeris lives’ canon.

yes, cloud is being controlled by sephiroth but it’s still his body that is physically attacking her. that’s a lot to take in and even though she doesn’t blame him ( one of the reoccurring things she does is repeatedly tell cloud to not worry about what has just happened ) but the memory of it is still hurtful.

cloud: yeah, I hear you. sorry for what happened. aeris: don’t worry about it.

aeris: cloud… you haven’t done anything. it’s not your fault.

aeris: …it’s nothing so don’t worry about it.

honestly everything that happened during the temple of ancients and even at the forgotten city needs to be addressed because while aeris left towards the forgotten city alone, she never left with the intention to die despite being well aware of the possible danger she was in. she talked about the future more than any of them ( although i find it interesting that we never actually see that in game despite tifa mentioning it multiple times ).

regardless of how her relationship with cloud is viewed, i believe that she fully intended to return and legitimately wanted to help him but she knew that she couldn’t help him while the planet was at risk - even if she really wanted to put him first.

[rosy-crow]

Alright, let’s go there.

I caught up on The Boys and recently saw that episode with Homelander where he (season 4 spoiler) goes back to confront the scientists that raised him and uhhh….fucking obliterates them in a scene that felt WEIRDLY reminiscent of the OG “trail of blood” sequence in Shinra, which ends with Masamune through the president’s back, of course.

These two have their traitorous scientist father figures and absent mothers. They have no real homes or stable family units. They’re beloved by the public, but not truly known by the world. They’re company products. They’re weapons. They’re the strongest beings in the world.

And yes, both grow to hate the companies/people that created them….a lot….they’re pretty similar. But how do they compare and contrast?

There is a key difference in how they relate to the world in their stories and it’s an interesting choice for both characters, writing-wise.

Homelander becomes cruel early on in his life by developing a sadistic alter-ego to face his despicable circumstances. This alter-ego is his dominant personality and only is pushed aside during the hidden moments where we see beyond the mask. Relying on this sadistic ego for strength, Homelander decides that he is superior to humans (he is physically, but not emotionally or in any other way), which causes him to treat them horribly when he’s not in the spotlight. He has no qualms about killing, abusing, torturing, manipulating, or hurting them at all. He thinks he’s an untouchable god and worthy of worship.

But he still hasn’t snapped and actually turned on humanity yet, because….according to that new episode, the scientists that raised him actually conditioned him to crave love so that he wouldn’t fully break away from humanity and defy or reject them. They had to condition this into him because they were terrified of his strength.

So, his character is still stuck being human, and he knows it. He won’t be vile in front of the public…mostly, and he revels in their approval. He still wants a family. He still wants love. Humans are the only ones that he can get it from. (Because he’s one of them).

But he’s hitting emotional walls in his life that keep him from being as effective or strong as he wants to be, so that’s why he went back to his origins in the last episode. He wanted to cut the cord, so to speak. To reject what humans did to him.

It remains to be seen if this was his turning point. His Nibelheim. If it was, the world is screwed and he’ll start killing everyone besides his son, who he also explicitly says is not human. It will be them against mankind.

(But this will still be built on a foundation of lies because once again, neither Homelander nor his son are inhuman).

And then there’s Sephiroth. Sephiroth was nothing like Homelander personality-wise until Nibelheim.

Sephiroth was, as I believe Cloud says in Dissidia, never cruel before his madness. Zack doesn’t recognize the Sephiroth that leaves the library. He is a completely changed indivual.

Despite also being the homeless, family-deprived lab rat raised by unethical scientists like Hojo and a cold weaponized company, Sephiroth wasn’t cruel or evil like Homelander is. We see this now in Ever Crisis too. The big difference is that Sephiroth believes he is human. He knows he’s different, he knows he is special, but in his mind, he isn’t an inferior monster or a superior god. He confesses he wants to live like a normal person, he learns to be kind even in war, he finds friends, he wonders about having a home, and most telling of all, he searches for his mother—his human mother.

Something tells me that Sephiroth’s belief in his own humanity was tied directly to his belief in his mother’s humanity, because the discovery of his mother’s “true identity” in Nibelheim is the catalyst for his rejection of mankind. When he learns that “Jenova is a monster,” he also fears he is a monster. When he learns that she is an Ancient, he also believes he is an Ancient, and therefore both he and his mother are superior to mankind, justified in wiping them out. That’s when Sephiroth becomes cruel.

In a way, both characters have this need for family keeping them grounded in the story. Homelander won’t fully reject humanity because he craves their approval and love. He craves a family. Sephiroth strives to be human because he believes he was born as one, from a human mother. Thus he naturally wants to be accepted by them.

Both of them also dangerously tie their souls to other individuals that unfortunately give them a reason to feel comfortable embracing inhumanity. For Homelander, he can find love in his son that he believes is also inhuman. For Sephiroth, once he discovers his mother is inhuman and he can find love there, he also can feel safe to abandon his humanity.

However, you can probably still see the biggest difference.

Because Homelander decided early on to believe that he wasn’t human, he allowed himself to be cruel to them. He became villainous early on in his life, but not to the full extent that he could if he can overcome his need for their love.

Sephiroth was not cruel or villainous until he discovered the lie that he was not human in one fell swoop. After that, he was fine to destroy mankind. He didn’t need their love or validation. He received that from his “mother,” who was the same species as him. Or so he believed.

That’s why Sephiroth was complex but not a villain until Nibelheim. That’s why Homelander already behaves as a villain, but hasn’t fully snapped to the point Sephiroth did. These little differences in psychology are extremely impactful.

I'm gonna release this into the wild and see what happens

[iaintyourbro]

The New Red Herrings: Biggs and Zack and How Avalanche Tells Us the LTD is Dead

Biggs and Zack are seemingly alive at the end of FFVII Remake Part 1 - so what does that mean? Will they live throughout the story? Maybe they’ll be like Wedge and escape death initially, only to be forced to face it shortly after?

There’s also interesting similarities on the death scenes of Biggs and Zack, A while ago I took screenshots of the “death” scene of Biggs and thought it was interesting how they had Biggs touch Cloud’s head and also made him promise something. 

And how are all these things connected to the LTD? 

Now, clearly, neither Biggs or Jessie had as dramatic of a death as Zack or Aerith. We actually see the initial injury or incident that causes each of them to die. Cloud comes upon Biggs while he’s already sitting down injured. Cloud and Tifa come to Jessie after she’s under the rubble and try to save her. 

We know Cloud pretty much loses it when Zack dies. He collapses mentally. He’s already been through enough shit to fill a lifetime, and now his only friend, his best friend, and the guy who saved his life, dies trying to get them back to Midgar. 

Why Zack is Important to Cloud

Relationship wise, Cloud obviously had a much deeper connection to Zack. At the point that Biggs dies, he doesn’t know any of that, but I think his death definitely triggers something in him. Biggs saw through Cloud’s front. We know Biggs dealt with the kids at the Leaf House, and most likely acted like a volunteer in the Big Brother program. He tells Cloud he’s got a lot in common with the kids at the Leaf House.

Zack had Cloud take on the responsibility to be his living legacy. Of course we all know he shuts down about five minutes later. Biggs had Cloud promise that this wouldn’t all be for nothing. In both cases, it doesn’t work out. He forgets what Zack told him and the Sector 7 plate still falls. 

Zack’s death has a major impact on Cloud - it’s ultimately what breaks him. It also gives us these really sad moments of somebody who’s already been through so much and is breaking now. 

Cloud is upset about Biggs. He was becoming his friend. The three Avalanche members really did accept Cloud and tried to be his friend. He was included with them - in most cases. Of course there’s the Avalanche party that he’s kicked out of (mind you - he does this to himself by acting like an ass to Barret and them) and then during Chapter 4, he’s separated to go steal Jessie’s dad’s ID. 

Ultimately, though, we know that Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie all like Cloud. They seem to see through the hard exterior pretty easily. So Cloud loses another person in his life.

The ending of FFVII Remake takes an interesting turn. Anybody who played OG or CC knows what is supposed to happen to Biggs and Zack.

But, Remake’s ending seems to imply that they survive the event that was supposed to take them out. 

Did Zack survive the last stand? Is this a case of the Last Stand in CC being combined with OG where as they walk away, Zack ends up getting shot anyway? 

So we also see Biggs.... wait, wrong picture.

That’s the right one. We get a shot of Charlie Sheen Biggs waking up in a bed in what looks like some type of either infirmary or large room. In OG, we know that all three of the Avalanche members die during the Sector 7 plate fall. In Remake, the only one we get confirmation on is Jessie, and that’s only in the Chapter description. 

Wedge we know survives until the Shinra building, where the Whispers ultimately take him out since he defied fate. 

So, what will happen to Biggs?

The biggest thing talked about seems to be the ending. Zack surviving created a lot of buzz. Is there a second timeline? Is he going to just simply walk another 10 feet and get shot in the back? Did her survive in the first place? Why does Stamp look different on that bootleg chip bag?

Will we have a beautiful Zerith reunion? 

In the OG, the Love Triangle illusion was the red herring. This was mostly to trick and distract the player to focus on something, so later they can destroy you with major twists. It also was used to get the player to like Aerith so her death would be more impactful. In addition, it makes the whole Northern Crater confession from Cloud about Tifa’s opinion being the only one that matters a slam in your face of holy shit what is going on?!

At this point, everybody and their mother knows Aerith dies. It’s not something that was kept a secret. It’s referenced in various materials. The one thing not openly referenced is what’s going on with Cloud. They never reference the Lifestream, the fake persona, or anything outside of the OG and Ultimanias. I think this is a shame since it’s such an important part of his character arc, but I get that they want to try and leave the element of surprise in play.

I think everybody would agree that the moment you find out Cloud was just a grunt that was WITH Zack during the Nibelheim incident is super powerful. I still get chills all these years later. Letting this be a well known thing would take away the element of surprise from new fans. Of course, people can go online and read blogs like this one and know all of this, but for somebody - especially future generations - who may just be looking for a new game to play, you’d want this element of surprise to stay in tact. 

We can’t use Aerith as the only red herring anymore, and we can’t use the love triangle. For many reasons. Everybody knows about it and the love triangle was a poor choice for something like this because some people missed the point completely.

Now, FFVII Twitter is always on fire. 

Also, even though the Lifestream and Cloud’s true identity are pretty well kept secrets in terms of printed media, most of the people who played FFVII Remake played the original game, they know what happens. People who were new and played Remake first most likely went and bought OG and played it. So now they know what happens. 

They knew this, or they probably wouldn’t have shown Cloud in this state, but even for those who don’t, the alternate timeline theory is born. Biggs enhances this theory because he’s alive too. How can Cloud walk past them AND be carried by Zack in some catatonic state?

It keeps us distracted. They want us to think that fate can be changed. In the case of Zack, they’re even saying that the past can be changed. 

Ultimately, whatever they do, it’ll be shocking to most players. I do trust that the devs aren’t being deceitful when they say they are going to keep the major plot points the same and FFVII will be FFVII going forward. Part 1 keeps major plot points but adds substance to a lot of things. They took out unnecessary parts and enhanced others. They also removed a lot of the love triangle stuff. 

Another striking thing with all of this is the Jessie factor. The Chapter screen tells us she died - it only says Biggs was seriously injured. That hasn’t stopped speculation.

The ending shows gloves on the table next to Biggs’ bed and a lot people said oh it’s Jessie’s left glove! And it does appear that it is. There’s only one glove. To me, this seems like they recovered her body and were able to pull of some personal affects of hers to leave with Biggs. Both articles look damaged or faded. 

Faded could mean they’ve been sitting in the sun for a while. The incident happened a few days ago, though we don’t have a definitive time on when we’re shown Biggs. This could be a future look.

They also could simply be damaged and full of dust from the plate collapse. 

It is implied in Chapter 4 if you listen to the conversation between Jessie’s mom and the gang that Biggs and Jessie have a different relationship than Wedge and Jessie. 

I have some thoughts on what this may mean:

Biggs is Jessie’s BFF and her mom likes him.

Jessie and Biggs dated at one point and decided to not tell her mom that they no longer are or that its casual.

Jessie’s mom was hounding Jessie about finding a man so she picked Biggs to be her pretend boyfriend and he agreed.

Biggs and Jessie are secretly dating and only her mom knows.

Which one do I think it is? Well, knowing Jessie, I can definitely see her doing #3. I can absolutely see her acting like Biggs is her boyfriend to get her mom off her back. I think #1 and #2 are also huge possibilities. #4 is far fetched, but they could cover it up by having Jessie flirt relentlessly with Cloud and appear to be single. 

Some people think that Jessie will end up at the Gold Saucer singing. Personally, I really hope not. If they keep a bunch of people alive (even if it’s for a short amount of time), it really takes away one of the major themes of FFVII which is death and moving on. In addition, I think it’s too many people they’d need to kill off later. Jessie is a very popular character, so I hope they don’t take that as an incentive to change that aspect of the story. 

Aerith’s funeral and Jessie’s death are similar as well, so I think it is foreshadowing some things. 

We get a princess style carry here. Aerith and Jessie both get these in Remake. Jessie’s second one ends in her death. Will Aerith get a second princess carry by Cloud? Will it be to take her to her final resting place?

Maybe she won’t even go to the lake - maybe to the sky?

We know Tifa was super upset in OG, and they really don’t touch on it much. We only see her run away crying after this moment. You learn in Case of Tifa that she’s really upset about, but a lot of people don’t read Case of Tifa, so they only know this scene. 

We know that she gets very upset over Jessie’s death.

I think Aerith’s death will be much worse. 

It seems Jessie’s death is a reference to how Aerith’s death was handled in the OG.

Will it be handled the same? Maybe. I think they’re going to make it seem like she’s going to be okay, and then boom.

So the ending gives us hope that we have two friends that are alive. It makes us think that we can save Aerith. I do think Wedge’s death towards the end and comments that Red XIII made in Chapter 17 may also be hinting towards the fact that you cannot change the past and you cannot change fate. 

Over on Discord, @anesuna​ brought up a good point about Wedge’s cats. Biggums survives the plate collapse along with Wedge. The other two cats - Reggie and Smalls - sadly perish (::cries a lot::). This could also be a reference that Biggs survived while Jessie and Wedge do not. 

So what about the LTD?

I think this is a heavy reference to the old OG love triangle. Don’t fall for it! They’re warning players now instead of wanting them to fall for it. 

Why do I say this? Aerith seemed to think the love triangle was fun. Thing is, Cloud wasn’t all there at this point, so it was just an illusion. Since players didn’t seem to get that the first time, they’re going to make it clear now. There were a lot of aspects they seemed to take from Aerith and give to Jessie. Overly flirty (with Jessie they added thirsty) and being overly childish at times. Aerith in remake is still somewhat childish, but not completely.

Oblivious Cloud is Oblivious. Yeah, he was oblivious in OG that Aerith and Tifa had feelings for him. He has no idea what Wedge is talking about now. Earlier in this same conversation he thinks that Wedge is telling him not to come around because people will gossip about Jessie being in Avalanche, but the player knows really what he’s referring to...

I think this is probably a reference to the Gold Saucer date because of the stage part. I take things at face value and don’t really dig too deep, but I think this exchange with Wedge is supposed to tell the player not to fall for these false loves early in the game.

It’s brought up again during Aerith’s resolution scene.

Earlier Wedge said not to fall for Jessie’s trick, because it was a game to her. It wasn’t real love. Aerith is now telling her that if Cloud thinks he falls in love with her, it’s not real. 

We have two separate instances in the game where they’re telling you to beware of the false love. It’s two times the word love is used. 

After all of this, the ending presents us with two guys who should be dead that appear to be alive. One of them is directly connected to Aerith.

This was their way of trying to shut down the LTD and replace it with different red herrings. Will it work as well as the LTD? Well, it seems that the majority of FFVII Remake fans have talked about the ending.

Yes, a lot of people talk about the LTD, but I think the majority of players are more interested overall in what happens next and what’s up with Zack. I think the majority of the fandom is also ready for the LTD to officially be dead so we can actually focus on everything else and stop the madness. 

It’ll never fully stop, but at least it’ll be clear for anybody who plays the game and alleviate the bulk of the chaos. 

Say hello to your new red herrings: Biggs and Zack. 

Say bye to the LTD.

[enigmaphenomenon]

Cloud and Tifa - The Buildup pt. 1

Part 1 of the remake released finally and it covers Midgar. Let’s take a look at the scenes between Cloud and Tifa, and the scenes to come later in future installments. Let’s get started. Been a while since I last wrote an essay, it’s time. 

The first time she’s mentioned:

Those of us who know the story, we know who Tifa is and what her connection with Cloud is. But, without knowing the story this question sets up other questions. “Who is Tifa?” “What is her relationship with Cloud?” “There must be something if Jessie, who is flirting hard with Cloud, is asking so she can understand if she’s flirting with a taken man or not.”  Tifa is mentioned as early as chapter 1, both her importance to Cloud and the core mystery of Cloud’s identity are foreshadowed and setup.  Jessie’s question makes Cloud search his memories, are he and Tifa close? This is where we get more information.  We see through Cloud’s eyes as we get our first look at Nibelheim, and our first look at Tifa, as Anxious Heart plays in the background. 

Cloud looks up at the water tower and lingers on it as he’s walking. We know the iconic water tower and what it means, but this shot is setting up the importance of this water tower. Even more foreshadowing about Tifa and Cloud’s bond. 

As cool as this flashback is, it didn’t really answer the question. We see Tifa attempting to reach out to Cloud, but he seemingly ignores her. We never see what happens next as the flashback ends.

We don’t get our answer in the flashback, nor do we get our answer from Cloud. We know Cloud and Tifa knew each other as kids as well as in adulthood. We know that Jessie is curious about their relationship but other than that we didn’t get an answer. Only a question was posed. A question that will continue to be answered in small pieces before it is fully revealed.  At this moment, Tifa, her relationship to Cloud, and their promise at the water tower are all foreshadowed.  The second time she’s mentioned:

First we have Jessie asking Cloud if he’s close with Tifa, and now we have Barret giving us another piece of the puzzle. We know that Cloud and Tifa share history, but Barret is the leader of an anti-Shinra group and doesn’t trust Cloud at all. However, with this line by Barret we learn that he trusts Tifa and gave Cloud a chance based on Tifa’s words.  Tifa is the one who got Cloud the job, and spoke so highly of him that Barret begrudgingly hires a “Shinra dog.” it demonstrates that Tifa’s trust in Cloud is the deciding factor in Cloud’s role for Avalanche. The three members warm up to him quickly, leaving only Barret who continues to distrust him yet reluctantly works with. This would show that all the members, for the most part, trust Tifa’s opinion. It is Tifa’s trust in Cloud that influences the Avalanche members.  Another piece to the puzzle:

We already saw the water tower in an earlier flashback when Jessie asks him about Tifa. It served a purpose besides setting up the promise scene. As Cloud makes his way back to Sector 7 he has another flashback. The water tower appears once again as Cloud stands in the midst of flames. 

As the scene plays out, we see the water tower completely engulfed in flames before revealing the iconic shot of Sephiroth. 

We’ll dive into what this scene symbolizes and foreshadows in more depth in later parts of this essay. For now, it is another reference to his bond with Tifa that we don’t know the significance to just yet.  All it tells us is Cloud and Tifa’s hometown went up in flames, and that the water tower holds more significance than being a mere landmark.  The reunion flower: 

And here is our first real answer on what Tifa is to Cloud. When Cloud meets Aerith, a flower peddler peddling her wares, and she offers him a flower. Now, in OG the flower cost 1 gil and you had the choice to buy it or decline it. Your choice did actually impact the game in a small way as if you declined the flower you would walk away with no flower.  In the remake, however, even if you decline the flower it will still end up in Cloud’s possession. The flower no longer costs 1 gil it is completely free. The game does not let you walk away with no flower.  We are given some added information about the yellow lily. In FF7′s universe this flower means “reunion” and Aerith adds on a romantic connotation stating lovers would give them when they were reunited. There is a second romantic connotation here, as if you decline the flower, Aerith will state it will make Cloud’s “girlfriend” happy. Upon hearing this, he asks her “how much?”  Now who could this girl who Cloud holds romantic feelings for? Who was he thinking about when Aerith mentioned a girlfriend? With the flower in his suspender he reunites with Barret and the others where we get our third Tifa mention. 

Cloud is initially confused when Barret says he’ll see Cloud soon at 7th Heaven, taking the time to mention Tifa once again and stating it is where she works. Barret also urges Cloud not to keep Tifa waiting.  It is chapter 3, and Tifa has been foreshadowed since chapter 1, and now we’ll finally get to see her.  In OG, if Cloud bought the flower an additional choice was unlocked. Once he makes it to 7th Heaven, Tifa notices the flower and the player is given the option to give it to Tifa or to Marlene. In the remake this is removed. The story removes the option to walk away without a flower, and removes the option of who to give it to.  Again, who has been foreshadowed as having a bond with Cloud where a super flirty girl is interested in what exactly is going on between the two, who had such faith in Cloud it got him hired by someone extremely paranoid and hateful of Shinra, the girl he thought of when “a gift for [his] girlfriend” came up, the girl who receives the flower that lovers would give when reunited? 

5 years:

Through this interaction, we get out next clue. What’s been 5 years? Obviously, fans of the original already know, but let’s pretend like we don’t.  It’s been 5 years. We have a timeline now, and Chapter 3 keeps on providing us with more information.  After delivering the water filter to Marle, who is their landlady, Tifa tells Cloud that Marle helped her back in the day. Tifa reveals she’s been in Midgar for about 5 years. 

The puzzle pieces are forming together yet they are not completing the picture yet. After doing a few jobs for connections, Tifa brings up their home village. 

This makes it seem that 5 years ago, Cloud left the village as did Tifa. We heard Sephiroth say “Your hometown that burns so bright” but we don’t have a timeline on that in this part of the story.  We can assume Tifa left her village 5 years ago shortly after Cloud left. We know that Cloud returned to his home to witness it burning, and we know Tifa was confused when Cloud said it’s been 5 years, and we know Tifa has been living in Midgar for about 5 years. The picture is coming together but it’s still not clear. Cloud is reluctant to talk about it, but in a later scene we get more information.  Alone At Last:  And now we get Cloud’s answer. He finally talks about what happened when he left their village. 

We get some backstory on how they were on the news everyday when Cloud and Tifa were kids, and that back then everyone wanted to be a Soldier. This was when the war with Wutai was going on, and Sephiroth was hailed as a great war hero, it was also around this time that Elmyra lost her husband and met Ifalna and Aerith.  When Cloud first heard of Sephiroth, he would’ve been 9 years old or so. He talks about when he left the village the war was over and they didn’t needs heroes, and his job was just working for Shinra, nothing glorious like he had dreamt of. 

The conversation goes quiet as Cloud reflects on his time with Shinra, prompting Tifa to change the subject. Before she does however, we get an awkward silence hanging in the air as the camera shows the rug they are standing at. @silver-wield​ pointed out this is a flower design, and could be the reunion flower. 

This is apt as it’s shown right before Tifa brings up their reunion in Midgar. 

Here’s what we know so far, Cloud left the village to join Soldier, it has been 5 years since he last saw Tifa, and he learned recently Tifa has been living in Midgar for about 5 years.  She remarks on the odds of them going their separate ways what seems like 5 years ago and randomly bumping into each other in a city as massive as Midgar.  The Promise:  Finally, finally, FINALLY we get to the promise scene and I can talk about the significance of the water tower as more than just a landmark!  When we first see the water tower in Chapter 1 is when we first see Tifa, we see the water tower again in Chapter 2 being engulfed in flames, and now in Chapter 4 we get another flashback that shows the significance of the water tower and how it’s linked to Tifa in Cloud’s memories. 

It was at this water tower that Cloud told Tifa about wanting to join Soldier, that he will be the best of the best, just like Sephiroth.  This is also where Cloud and Tifa make their promise, and the soundtrack that plays here is called “A Tower, A Promise.” 

This memory was sparked when he was with Avalanche and was triggered by a rather random thing. A fan. Tifa was not mentioned, nor part of this mission, and yet a spinning fan is what brought memories of Tifa to the forefront. Seriously. A random fan triggered a memory of Tifa. 

The first time he had a flashback of Tifa it was prompted by Jessie asking what their relationship was. Tifa was directly mentioned. However, as the game goes on the memories Cloud has of Tifa are randomly triggered as his true self tries to resurface.  After Cloud remembers the promise he made to her, he remembers what she said back at the bar and the emotional turmoil she’s in. 

Cloud’s face says it all right here. He feels like he came close to failing her. This is the moment more of his true self is brought forward by his memories of Tifa. It was after this scene we see him truly get closer to Wedge, Jessie and Biggs and finally includes himself with them, even smiling and laughing with the group.  Now prior to this scene, we met Marle in Chapter 3 who had a lot to say to Cloud regarding Tifa. 

Marle’s words actively foreshadow a scene that takes place after Cloud remembers the promise. At the moment Marle grills Cloud, he hasn’t remembered the promise and when Marle asks him if he’s actually thinking about Tifa and her feelings, his face says it all. Cloud goes to answer, but is at a loss for words...He looks mad and when he goes to presumably tell Marle off, he stops and his face changes to one of guilt and puzzlement. 

Is he being a real friend to her? Is he really listening to her and thinking about her feelings? Or is he just going through the motions and pretending? Playing out a false persona...perhaps? Not acting like his real self maybe...? After the mission with Jessie is done and Cloud retires to his room, we get to see what Marle’s words foreshadowed and the change in Cloud’s demeanor after he remembered the promise. 

“She needs a friend--a real friend.” 

“So when she talks, are you really listening?” 

In Chapter 1, Cloud insists him assisting Avalanche is a one-time gig, and once he gets his money he’s out of there. He refuses to acknowledge he’s part of the group as he tells Barret he’s not one of them and he’s simply a sword-for-hire.

When Chapter 4 rolls around Barret kicks Cloud out of 7th Heaven, throwing his words back in his face about it being a one-time thing, and Cloud himself stating that those shady guys looking for Barret isn’t his business and has nothing to do with him. Cloud had only one reason to stay in Midgar: Tifa. Prior to him remembering their promise, he had no reason, but Marle’s words and his memory of the water tower form his reason for staying. After all, he said he’d be there for Tifa and he decides to stay of his own volition--honoring the promise of his own free will and remembering it on his own. 

We also see another flashback in Chapter 6 showing a distraught Tifa crying over her father’s body before taking Masamune and walking into the reactor. 

This memory will be triggered again by Tifa repeating what she said all those years ago, with Cloud thinking that he had failed his promise to her. 

This alludes to the promise he made to Tifa, and how he believes he failed her in Nibelheim. There is also another allusion to Nibelheim in Chapter 1. Reactor 5 has the same layout as Reactor 1, and while at Reactor 1 in the first chapter Cloud not only has a memory of Tifa and the water tower, but he also hallucinates a black feather as he sets the bomb. 

We finally see the significance of the water tower shown/foreshadowed in Chapter 1, but the full significance will not be revealed until the later parts of the Remake. The water tower - continued in part 2

Part 2 coming soon

[strfe]

(  this is a tweaked repost from my old blog.  )   a common theory is that throughout the course of the original game, cloud inherited zack’s past / memories  &  behaviours. to an extent this is true. for the most part, however, i’m not really on board with it being completely accurate. his memories are always … hazy, and don’t add up. there are things that he should know and doesn’t, but really   ——  nothing that he does know and couldn’t possibly have found out or been told. what i believe, is that cloud is acting as though he was a first class SOLDIER;  not necessarily zack, but himself as a first class with what information he’s gathered about them. he does assume zack’s perspective in a couple of scenes, e.g. when he’s remembering the nibelheim incident  ( he’d have had to;  on the journey there, the only other SOLDIER there was sephiroth,  &  if he was certain about anything … it’s that he made SOLDIER ), but subsequently … even that isn’t quite right. because cloud still thinks that he’s cloud, that he knew tifa, and that he grew up in nibelheim. what cloud envisions is his ideal perspective of things. he seems to conveniently forget that tifa wasn’t actually his friend growing up  ( more-so, an acquaintance )  and that he was an outcast, who more-so wanted to befriend her.

   in order to cope with his trauma, he created a fake persona based off of things that he had witnessed  /  others that he just wanted to be true. cloud’s whole reason for joining SOLDIER was to become strong, so that he could be noticed;  acknowledged,  and so that he could protect those he loved. sephiroth was the embodiment of all that he aspired to be;  the person that he most aspired to work alongside. i think he put himself in zack’s place at times to compensate for the fact that   ( as an infantryman )  he never got to do that. more-so, cloud was certain he was a 1st class SOLDIER,  and that it wouldn’t make sense for him to not have known  /  worked with sephiroth. honestly, though, i believe he was more himself than people seem to think. at the very least, he certainly didn’t act like zack.

   let’s face it;  cloud wasn’t exactly the most likeable guy in the original game.  ( which significantly parallels zack’s character and behaviours. how he was good, positive, outgoing  & caring. )  at least, not at the beginning. you could argue that in crisis core he wasn’t so bitter and, arguably, arrogant … but in crisis core he still had dreams and aspirations. his mother was still alive, sephiroth was still  ‘alright’  ——  and things generally weren’t so god-awful. even if cloud doesn’t remember zack, or the four years they were experimented on …  he does recall similar feelings of sorrow, despair  &  betrayal. he’s still himself   ( and if you’ve played the og, you know that he isn’t all brooding and entirely uncaring. he’s cocky, and a little selfish at times ?  but not a bad person. )  except, i think he maybe fell back on subconscious traits he’d sorta grown out of expressing. for example, narcissism and nonchalance as a means of guarding himself. aggression, too  ——  all traits he bore as a kid.

    ——  cloud does recall this scene, except when he describes it to the squad in kalm he sees himself in zack’s position. this is still presumably sephiroth talking to cloud,  except the way he remembers it is slightly askew;  tweaked to fit the belief he was in SOLDIER. basically … most of what cloud recalls is a mix of his own memories, plastered in the unwavering belief that  ( regardless of any lack of evidence he may have to back it up )  he was part of SOLDIER, worked with sephiroth, and zack fair never existed. he’s suppressing his trauma by creating a more bearable reality.

    ——  this isn’t even every example of an infantryman bearing witness to most everything that zack did. that infantryman is later shown to be cloud. he doesn’t need to miraculously gain zack’s memories  &  behaviours to know what happened back then;  he bore witness to it himself. he was always there, every step of the way, albeit quiet and with a subtle appearance. anything else that he claims in the original game  is more likely than not fabricated   ( … on the spot, no less )  for the sake of making things make sense. naturally, there are some exceptions. for example, cloud’s visit to his mother. the house that he visits in the flashback, and the woman there was real. only, in crisis core … cloud doesn’t have time to visit her.

   more likely, what happened is that cloud conjured up a memory in which he did visit her, to match his alternate reality;  where things play out way the way he would have preferred them to, before everything went wrong. at the time of his explanation  (  —— VISUALLY,  within the flashback )  things are distorted, and not quite right. his memories are broken up, and he seems to be making things up as he goes along. of course, to cloud, this is all fact. he doesn’t know any better. or, rather … he knows, but isn’t allowing himself to remember. this backs up my often overlooked argument that cloud remembers things that zack never witnessed;  in the og, or in crisis core.

   the infantryman in the og  ( confirmed cloud in crisis core )  expresses concern for sephiroth,  & seems to be the ‘guard’ set watch by the staircase;  presumably to note when and if he enters and leaves. something easily overlooked or put down to discrepancies between the og and crisis core is the fact that in the flashback, cloud does actually confront sephiroth. everyone else leaves him be  ( also confirmed in crisis core )  and  yet, in the flashback, for whatever reason there’s a scene where;  right before the fire,  cloud talks with sephiroth.

    ——  to which sephiroth labels him a ‘traitor’, and proceeds to talk about all that he’s learned;  about the jenova project, the cetra / ancients, and the fact that he was created. this scene isn’t in cc  ( zack’s perspective ) and given the fact that cloud seems to switch back  &  forth between his falsified memories and his true memories, even if a little distorted … i’m inclined to believe that this was a canon memory on cloud’s part. not that he managed to help matters any, but it does back up my theory of cloud retaining some personal memories.

   when we next see cloud, he’s laying outside in the middle of a burning nibelheim. presumably, he’d chosen to pursue sephiroth into the village. what happened to him is conjecture; he had perhaps been ‘stunned’  /  not killed, but rendered unable to be a nuisance. though he does remember the events from that point onward from zack’s perspective, again, he doesn’t remember them entirely in that way. he recalls lifting a wounded tifa in the reactor  (  which he did as an infantryman;  zack ran on ahead and was then struck down  )  and as far as i’m aware, recalls the fact that he managed to stab sephiroth with the buster sword, as well as the words that he spoke.

    ——  conveniently, he doesn’t seem to remember anything from that point onward.

[transgamerthoughts]

Final Fantasy 7 Remake: Thoughts and Ramblings

Surprised to dust this off but I want to collect my thoughts quickly now that credits are rolling on Remake:

In general, I enjoyed it quite a lot. As one of many players with a unique relationship to the original (I first “played” it watching a childhood friend over the course of several sleepovers before playing on my own and occasionally returning to it) I was skeptical. I’ve express some of that skepticism at Kotaku , a website I write at. Remakes and remasters sometimes fall short or deviate in strange ways. Remake forges its own path and I’m grateful for it.

SPOILERS AHEAD KIDDOS

So! Here’s some scattered thoughts. Maybe they end up on Kotaku, maybe not. And while I’m loathe to immediately rush to create content on a Sunday night, this game has my mind spinning. Here we go.

The characterizations in this game are very strong, perhaps stronger than the original’s Midgar section. Some of that is owed to a very bad localization in ‘97 (you can get insight into that from my former colleague Tim Rogers’ series here) but Remake takes a lot of effort to allow the cast to breathe. That can come from the ways in which Cloud alters his way of taking with Tifa, and it can come in the moment where Barrett is more explicitly an ideologue. It’s quite good even if the script has a flaw that we’ll talk about in a second. 

That flaw is, frankly, that if you’ve not played the original then Remake is going to end up impenetrable in the final hours. This is particularly true once characters like Zack are brought into the fold and the visuals begin to mirror the original. (See: the hard cuts before Sephiroth and Clouds final duel mirroring the Omnislash moment from ‘97.) I don’t think that diminishes the character work here but I think that the more interesting meta-narrative stuff *so* damn crucial to this game that I can’t imagine what a newcomer will think. 

Connected to this, I’ve seen folks disappointed that this is not a perfect remake but in this instance, I think that sentiment is misplaced. Valid, but shortsighted? You can’t make Final Fantasy VII today. Not in the way it existed in ‘97. Which isn’t to say the visuals or script but the context cannot be reproduced. New hardware, FMVs taking a forefront, an advertising campaign that positioned the game in competition with movies, and a cultural splash that the series hasn’t ever quite replicated. Because the weight of expectation hovers over Remake—folks have been obsessed with a new version since the PS3 tech demo stirred imagination at E3 2020—the game *needs* to be about that. To be a game about this moment, the moment gamers have waited decades for, Remake needs to be about itself in a very explicit way.

I can’t not see the Whispers and Arbiters of Fate as anything other than stand-ins for gamers, fans, and the culture as a whole. That’s an obvious reading but an undeniable one. The core question of Remake doesn’t really have much to do with the fictional stakes. It’s this: who owns Final Fantasy VII, and who owns the Remake? Is it the story tellers or the players? I have a cheat answer: it belongs to the characters. In unbinding themselves from player expectation, they claim ownership over the narrative now. 

Aeris just flat out knows she’s in a sequel/alt-timeline thing. Her final line is about missing the surety of something as presumably ever present at the metal sky of Midgar’s plates. 

I like the combat here more than FFXV, which isn’t saying a lot but worth saying. There’s more participation from the player. That’s it. I don’t think *more* active choice inherently makes a combat system better but it is the key reason this works better than XV.

Character swapping breaks things somewhat since enemy aggro is (save for using the provoke materia) focused on the player. Wish the combat design took this into consideration a bit more. It’s the one glaring flaw in the system.

Tifa is the most fun to play as in this game. It’s not even a contest. Starshower is overpowered as hell and Chi Trap rules. Love using her to increase the potency of the stagger meter when the time comes.

Fights do get occasionally Too Busy. Airbuster is a big culprit here. Too many phases for what was essentially a jobber of a boss in the original game.

Train Graveyard section is an atrocious pace killer as well. Again: “too many notes.”

I never found the Nail Bat and that was a bit of a bummer.

I tweeted out a quote from Barrett this weekend and it made the rounds. In general, for this game, Barrett works best in this revolutionary mode even if certain scenes (Shinra middle manager for instance) deploy visual language that’s dated. Of any character, he has the highest highs and lowest lows. Not surprising.

re: that tweet some folks kinda lost their shit about it(?) but I think the quote still holds. Remake does a good job of showing *individuals* within Shinra but Barrett does rightly note they are complicit to an extent in Shinra’s crimes. You can disagree with what Barrett does about it but that’s 100% true. Sorry, not sorry. (The discourse today was just a hassle frankly. Multiple things can be true at once, but I don’t think Twitter is a place where that’s ever acknowledged.) Whatever eventual regrets he might feel about methodology in ‘97′s script, he’s not wrong on this individual point. I’m interested to see where he goes as a character when it comes to all this.

Kinda related to the above, Remake arguably does a better job than ‘97 showing the alternative to Shinra. It’s the communal nature of the individual sectors. It’s the Neighborhood Watch and local leaders in Sector 7, the trio in Wall Market. Remake rejects Shinra’s autocracy and favors the various slums communes. This is made ever more clear by how little of Reeve we see in this script. Who are the leaders shaping life into a passable experience in Midgar? It’s not the Urban Planning guy with the cat robot. 

Also: hey, is that Cait Sith in the plate drop cutscene? Yep! Hope you played the original or there’s just this sad cat that shows up for 4 four seconds.

Is he a Chad? Well, he’s Chad-ley...

Not sure what to think of the Wutai stuff being more explicit but it feels right for 2020 for a variety of reasons. I’ve never been too interested in FF7′s realpolitik tho. It’s not really much of an expansion so much as a background element but one that’s deployed a bit lazily. 

Roche owns in a way I was not expecting. He’s a balls to the wall anime motherfucker and I kinda love him? I’m really, really surprised that (as far as I could tell) he didn’t even come back for the final bike sequence tho.

I don’t really have the energy to litigate or talk about Wall Market much. I think it’s better than the original but pandering in the sense that it’s a very safe and commodified version of queerness. I appreciate that Nomura and folks looked at the original and were like “well, we can’t do *that*” but it doesn’t quite land for me.

That said: “yes, I know, nailed it,” is a fantastic line with a fantastic read from Cloud’s English VA.

Hell House announcers rule. Hell House fight? Kinda terrible actually.

Nice shout out to Kunsel in Shinra Tower. Crisis Core is a messy game but I like Tabata’s work a lot. Even the messy stuff, which is most of it. That game’s story is bonkers but I like Zack and I actually like the idea of the Digital Mind Wave as a mechanic. If nothing else, Squeenix lost a pretty exciting designer when he left.

Less nice? This game’s tendency to pad out dungeons. The whole approach to the Sector 5 reactor comes to mind. Train fight then tunnels then sun lamps then reactor. It’s a lot. Also: all of the extra Hojo stuff. I know we’re padding out like 5 hours but some of the sections could have been abbreviated. Probably would have made the game better.

Even less nice? Zack’s English voice actor. Maybe the only voice actor I didn’t like. Really miss Rick Gomez on this one. 

 Conversely, Red XIII? They nailed it. 11/10. Nanaki, I love you so much.

 Counterstance is an amazing move and I can’t want to carry that over into Hard Mode. 

The Jenova fight fuckin’ ripped. I was a bit huffy when I learned through leaks that there was a Jenova fight (since the first fight in the original is on the boat to Costa Del Sol) but this was a great set piece. One of the moments where everything worked.

Also good: Rufus fight. Bad: losing Rufus’ speech to the party.

Not a ton more thoughts right now? Sephiroth fight was good although for all his presence in the story I think we suffer without the full Nibelheim flashback to round things out. In all really liked it. Want to play again pretty much immediately. Will write something more cogent for the site I guess? Got a few ideas. But yeah! entered as skeptic and left mostly a believer on this one. 

[tifarobles]

Most Inspirational Characters for My Life

Writing about Disney princesses and video games has made me take a look at what characters (specifically women) are the most inspirational to me personally. This includes not only the primary characters I related to as a child but ones I am glad the next generation has to look up to now. 

Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII): 

There are actually a number of Final Fantasy heroines that influenced me - Rinoa, Daggar (Princess Garnet), Aeris, and Terra to name some of the others - but I feel like it’s obvious who inspired me the most. 

Let’s start from the beginning. You meet Tifa as a hardcore member of the resistance group, AVALANCHE, and the owner of Seventh Heaven bar in the slums of Midgar. She clearly has her life figured out as an independent woman with strong convictions. Tifa is from the small town of Nibelheim and is seen as wearing a cowgirl hat in flashbacks. She moved to the big city with honorable motivations of changing the world for the better. 

She is beautiful and her flirtatious behavior with her childhood friend, Cloud, was relatable to me as a hopeless romantic. They grew up together, but it wasn’t until he was leaving for the war that she started to follow his story and realized that he was more complicated than she’d thought as a child. This is a realistic depiction of young love and wondering “what if” about a developmental time in your life. 

Tifa is compassionate towards others, always willing to put their needs before her own. In flashbacks, you learn that she wasn’t always this selfless, dealing with tragedy in childhood and learning to cope with her own issues before being able to help others. This past strengthens the complexity and empathy of her character. During a crucial thematic section of the game, you play as Tifa and see her be the primary influence in Cloud’s journey of finding himself during an episode of chronic depression. 

Tifa has a reputation on the internet due solely on her looks. To be honest, I appreciated that she wasn’t defined by her looks in the story at all. Yeah, she’s hot, but she is so much more than that. She proves that looks do not define you. She is an incredibly powerful fighter and often the smart and optimistic voice of the group. Throughout the plot of the game, Tifa’s ability to be a good friend and leader comes to the rescue. She was a fantastic friend to Aeris, despite their competing affections for Cloud, and she is the first person Barret trusts to take care of his daughter, Marlene. 

I hoped that I would grow up to be just like her. 

Belle (Beauty & The Beast):

I just wrote about my feelings for Belle as a feminist, but I couldn’t complete this list without her. Belle is an outspoken outcast in a small-minded community, something I can relate to. Often lost in her own imagination, she cares more about reading than socializing and would rather talk to animals than humans. Belle was definitely the smartest Princess for her time. She was also incredibly brave, making decisions for the good of her father and her strong sense of adventure. She wanted more from life and found just that with her own decisions and actions. 

Belle never lets others make her chooses for her and follows her curiosity wherever it takes her, unafraid of the unknown. This is an admirable quality. She is also in touch with her own emotions, crying when she is sad but quickly wiping her tears away to plan her next steps. Belle doesn’t let the Beast’s temper control her and she doesn’t allow Gaston’s forced advances to make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. 

For my generation of Princess movies, this was the one that moved me the most and inspired me to be a strong feminist, choosing my own love story and fate. 

Maria Posada (Book of Life):

Maria embodies all of the characteristics I hope to achieve in my own life. 

We first meet Maria as a rebellious young girl who decides to release a pin full of pigs, believing that slaughtering them is wrong. She cares deeply for animals, putting their safety above her expectations as a “lady”. Her father sends her away to boarding school, hoping to crush her tenacious spirit. She leaves her childhood friends behind, giving Manolo the advice to always play from his heart. This is a motto we should all consider more in our lives. 

Returning from school years later, it’s obvious that her schooling only blossomed her rejection of society’s expected role for her. She has a reputation for reading books for fun (gasp!) and displays her intelligence in many ways. Watching Manolo in his first bullfight, she is the only audience member to applaud when he proclaims that killing the bull is wrong. It was clear to me that she was falling for this sensitive musician. 

Standing up to her father, Manolo, and Jauquin, Maria continuously shows that she doesn’t need a man in order to be fulfilled in her life, making Manolo take time and effort to win her affection. She calls out sexism whenever she sees it and ensures to explain it in ways that they will understand. When the boys fight over her, she fights for herself, winning the battle with her own sword fighting techniques. She calls them out for their childish behaviors, refusing Jauquin’s engagement and Manolo’s attempt to kiss her. Her father’s attempts at arranging her marriage only work when her true love is thought to be dead and the town’s safety is at risk, and even then she isn’t happy about the situation. 

In the end, Maria helps to save the town, inspiring them to fight back against the villain. Luckily, once the town is rescued she gets to marry for love.

Harley Quinn: 

Harley Quinn is a complicated, important character. Her story explores the depths of abusive relationships, mental health issues, bisexuality, and overcoming a troubled past to live for oneself. 

Being a professional psychiatrist, she is obviously intelligent and obsessed with the complexities of mental health. It’s no wonder that someone as deeply manipulative as the Joker was able to take advantage of her interest in this area. Their relationship is a very real depiction of abusive relationships, with the power struggle, controlling nature of the relationship, constant attempts to tear her down with insults and win her back with grand gestures., The Joker perpetually tries to tell Harley that she is nothing without him and even attempts to kill her to show his dominance over her and display a lack of a need for her in his life. She proves him wrong, saving him many times and eventually becoming an anti-hero on her own, free from his control. This is a powerful representation for a real issue for women in our society and an inspiration for breaking out of bad habits for a better self and life. 

Joining the Gotham Girls, Harley oozes of woman empowerment. The friendship and the love interest between Ivy and Harley is a relationship worth exploring deeper. Yay for bisexual representation! 

Harley was originally a very modestly dressed character in her first appearance (in a children’s show, I’d like to point out). I have very mixed feelings about her becoming a sex symbol over the years. I feel like there are many depictions that took this too far, focusing more on her appearance as a source of sex appeal instead of using her appearance to bolster her inner strength.

I totally understand why there was an explosion of Harley Quinn cosplayers and fanart during this movement of a more inclusive industry. 

Rey (Star Wars):

Rey is the sci-fi hero that young girls have needed for generations. Rey consistently fights for what she feels is right, following her instincts regardless of how terrifying they might be. She works hard to channel the force and proves to be very powerful. 

Living independently and always making decisions for herself, Rey proves that women can lead without the aid of men, but she gladly helps anyone in need (men, droids, or Wookiee) while on her own path. She is skilled at fixing and piloting ships and I get the feeling she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to. Rey’s empathy is so strong, that she does all she can to try to help her own nemesis. This empathy is a powerful trait that I wish we all had more of and seeing that on the big screen is important. 

Rey made me care more about the Star Wars universe because I could finally see myself in that world. 

What characters influenced your life? What characters do you hope influence the next generation of nerds and geeks? 

[the-sapphire-general]

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth

Hello guys! Now I don't usually make discussions or rants, but this is Tumblr. I can express my opinions. As you can see, this post will be about Sephiroth. Sephiroth, the One-Winged Angel from Final Fantasy 7, the FF game that pretty much made the franchise’s popularity skyrocket in the first place back in 1997. I love FF7, and like a lot of fans, I love Sephiroth, the main villain, and possibly the best video game villain I'll ever love (with Final Fantasy 15's Ardyn being second). Allow me to include a picture of the man himself.

What do you think? Does he look badass? Sexy? Cruel? Insane? Yeah, he's all of those things. However, it has come to my attention that Sephiroth is loved by his appearance more than everything else about him. I don’t know how many people do, but I am told it’s a lot. Yes, I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but really. Is Sephiroth just simple eye candy? Here's my answer. No. He is eye candy, yes, I can't deny it. He has a perfect, muscular physique and is incredibly alluring in appearance and he also has a deep voice that makes me swoon (I'm not kidding lol). But Sephiroth isn't just a walking sex god with great abs and muscles. A friend of mine, which I will not name out of respect and privacy, told me about this, and to be honest, it's sad. What about his backstory? His personality, both before and after he went insane?? What about his fighting abilities? His intelligence? There’s more than just his appearance.

Sephiroth is a complex character who was once a good guy only to be driven to insanity once he discovered his origins all because of everyone lying to him about everything. I may not be a longtime Sephiroth fan for I am technically a late bloomer that was introduced to him (and FF7) about two years ago, but I love Sephiroth for more than just his looks. I admit I fell in love right when I first saw him since I'm prone to love at first sight, but my focus on just his looks lasted only about a week when I checked out Crisis Core: Final Fantasy 7, the prequel to FF7. I did love Sephiroth for his appearance, but in time I actually got to know him as a person. In CC, Sephiroth was once a good person who grew up never knowing who his parents were (only knowing that his mother's name was Jenova), and was raised as a weapon without his knowledge. He was cold and distant, he was not one to express his emotions much, and he had only a few close friends, and guess what? I was able to relate to him. As I went through CC online (I don't own a PSP so I didn't get to play the game), I was able to see myself in Sephiroth before he became the villain we all know and love. He lost the only friends he had when they simply abandoned him and he didn't know why. It made me feel for him because I could sense how it bothered him. I mean, he didn't want to kill them when he was ordered to find them. Wouldn't you feel the same with your own friends if you were told you have to go after them? I also sympathized with him because people saw Sephiroth as just a cold man who kept his distance from others and this caused them to feel intimidated by him, but in reality, they didn't know the real Sephiroth. They didn't look past his appearance. Who knows how their opinions may have hurt him? Assuming things about others can hurt, you know. As the game progressed, his looks, the reason why I even checked him out in the first place, was no longer the main reason why I love him. I fell in love with his personality as I got to know him, and of course, this includes the truth about his past.

Sephiroth discovered his origins in a place called Nibelheim. One of Sephiroth's former friends, Genesis Rhapsodos, made him question himself when he and Zack Fair went to the mako reactor for a mission and found monsters in capsules. Finding out that he may be a monster isn't something a person can handle without feeling overwhelmed. Sephiroth, knowing that he was always different from everyone else, was in doubt about what Genesis said to him. That he was a monster. However, Sephiroth went to the ShinRa mansion's library in order to see for himself. And of course, after a week of endless investigation without sleeping or possibly eating, Sephiroth snapped. He lost it. Discovering that he was an experiment meant to serve ShinRa and manipulated all his life, out of pure hate and rage, Sephiroth burned Nibelheim, killing almost everyone in the village in cold blood.

Remember when I said he knew his mother's name was Jenova? Well, that's not true. His real mother is Lucrecia Crescent. His father is Professor Hojo. Jenova is an alien, or "the calamity from the skies" that arrived to the planet millennia ago and murdered the Cetra, beings who could communicate with the planet. But because Sephiroth has gone insane, he believes Jenova is his mother since Hojo injected her DNA into Lucrecia while she was pregnant with Sephiroth. However he thought he was a Cetra at the time. He later realized Jenova is “the calamity from the skies”, but that didn’t make much of a difference in his already unstable beliefs. Whether or not Jenova really is Sephiroth's mother considering they have a striking resemblance that even I can't deny anymore, I don't know. Maybe? But Lucrecia did give birth to him, so she is his biological mother. Back to the Nibelheim Incident. Sephiroth, believing that the humans stole the planet from Jenova, declared himself the chosen one to rule the planet. 

Zack failed to stop Sephiroth, so Cloud Strife, who was one of the infantrymen that followed them to Nibelheim, defeated Sephiroth by throwing him to his death. But that didn't stop there. Sephiroth revived himself in Final Fantasy 7, now wanting to destroy the planet after realizing Jenova isn’t a Cetra and that he gained a lot of knowledge when he was in the lifestream...He basically became more cruel, insane, and just evil. He summoned Meteor to wound the planet in order to absorb the lifestream and become god of the planet, and have everyone “become a part of him”. Of course, he was defeated again by Cloud. In the movie Advent Children, he sent his remnants, three men that represented parts of him, to reclaim Jenova's head. His goal was to return to life, destroy the planet, and use it to travel through the cosmos and find other planets to destroy. Kind of like Jenova tried to do. Cloud defeated him again, and although the Compilation of Final Fantasy 7 hasn't continued since Dirge of Cerberus and Sephiroth himself didn't show up in the game (other than in an image of the Nibelheim Incident), it's certain that Sephiroth is determined to return and won't stop until he gets what he wants: the planet and the destruction of humanity. I apologize if I summarized some parts. Final Fantasy 7 is a massive game, and so are the other installments in the Compilation, so it’s a lot to cover. But I think I got everything in here.

Wow, that was a lot to type, but it's worth adding it to make my point. Sephiroth is more than just a sexy man, and unfortunately people overlook everything else about him. He's cruel, cold, calculating, distant, intelligent, cunning, arrogant, murderous, and vengeful. He used to be good but lost the only friends he had and everything he ever knew turned out to be nothing but a life of betrayal and lies. He discovered his origins and lost his mind and now wants to destroy everything. Seeing him as only an attractive man means that nothing else about him matters. That’s just shallow thinking if you like someone for only one thing. Outward appearances is fine to notice, but what about what’s underneath???

How do I see Sephiroth? Well he's attractive, yes, but he's not just that. Sephiroth's backstory got to me because he's a lot like me. Distant, quiet, intelligent, had a few friends, wasn't social, and that he was betrayed by those he trusted. It was like looking at a mirror, and I don't have to be an experiment, have others deceive me my whole life, or become insane just to identify with him. I don't have to try to rule the planet just to identify with him. I don't have to be cruel just to identify with him. Sephiroth and I may be vastly different, but that doesn't mean we don't have similarities. We do, and even some of the similarities we have can be different. I was betrayed by a few people while Sephiroth was betrayed by everyone he knew, for example. He descended into madness, and I was furious beyond how angry I usually get but I had people who care about me that stopped my anger from taking over. Despite that, in a way I developed a dark side towards certain people, but at least mine is less of a danger than Sephiroth's.

I love Sephiroth for both his appearance and personality. I also love how badass he can be alongside his sexy physique, and I am attracted to both his voice and intelligence. So I like a lot of things about him that aren't just related to his looks. Speaking of his personality, I find it annoying whenever I find Sephiroth acting out-of-character in some stuff. Now I'm not saying that whatever things that people write for him are automatically OOC such as him liking lemon drops or pears. I mean, besides what we know about him, Sephiroth is pretty much a blank slate in some aspects. That's what headcanons are for, to make our own portrayals of Sephiroth. I’ve seen several of them and they are pretty good. In fact, some people may find my Sephiroth a little OOC, but it doesn't matter. I do try to keep him in-character, but again, some aspects about him are unclear such as what he likes to eat or do during his free time (besides destroying and killing and fighting Cloud or anyone else lol), so it's my job to add to it. But that doesn't mean that everything I can include in him is okay. Making Sephiroth into a rapist is OOC to me. Making him act sexist, racist, or homophobic is OOC to me (unless he learns that it's wrong if this is Crisis Core Sephiroth; I grew up thinking that being homosexual is bad, for example, but I learned better). And making him hypersexual 24/7 is OOC to me. Yes, I have noticed these three examples, plus Sephirothslave's horrible portrayal of Sephiroth in her "stories". She's old news, however, so I will not discuss any of that.

Now it is said Sephiroth is seen as just a sexual being by others. As much as I enjoy making him sexual and love checking out sexy Sephiroth stuff, that isn't his entire character. I personally believe he would be sexual to someone who understands, supports, and loves him for who he is and not just for his appearance. Many people don't see him as being sexual at all, which is fine. I'm not attacking those who portray Sephiroth differently. I'm just saying that there's more to Sephiroth than just being sexy. He should be treated as a character, not a sex toy. It's an insult to Sephiroth and the fans who see everything that's behind his appearance, and even he wouldn't like this kind of attention. Then again, he wouldn't like a lot of things, but that's not the point. The point is don't judge a book by its cover. Sephiroth may be sexy, but when you look past appearance, you can see what he's like, and it’s clear he's not sexual in personality.

I now realize the sexual thing may be one of the reasons why I don’t do shippings on my Sephiroth blog. Yes, I don’t like him with anyone else since I get jealous. It’s silly, but hey, that’s one of my reasons. It doesn’t mean I hate the characters he’s with, I just don’t pair him up with anyone. I don’t want to do shippings because I could wind up having to act out sexual fantasies way more than RPs that actually have plot and character development. Doing that sort of thing could get tiresome. Sexy RPs every once in a while would be fine, but again, I’m not going to add shippings because I get jealous, I’m not interested in porn without plot 24/7, and I don’t want to be forced into going out of my comfort zone just to satisfy others. I’m not breaking my own blog’s rules. Also, I’m not confident in adding Sephiroth in romance yet, so I’m still practicing on my own regarding romance with a character of mine. I’m not saying I’ll include shippings eventually, but I don’t mind if others pair him up with anyone they like. I’m just not one of those people who ship him with Cloud, Vincent, Zack, Tifa, etc., but I’ll respect those who do. Just don’t shove them down my throat, please. If, and I mean IF I were to ever include pairings on my Sephiroth blog, I’ll let you know.

So that’s all for this rant. Sephiroth is a character that I love a lot. Opposites attract! I do hope others start seeing the full picture because he’s a compelling character to me. All the FF7 characters are (except Hojo, fuck him), though Sephiroth is my favorite one of all. I may love Ardyn as well, but Sephiroth can’t be dethroned from my heart.

[imnevergonnagiveyouup]

Meta#2: Not my family, not my friends..nobody

Aaaaaaaand here's another ramble about my beautiful boy. Same warnings as before! Spoilers alert if only to show why I think what I think that's all! Credit for the screenshots taken go again to mah boy Sam ( @fairlegacy ) who's always nice enough and kind to me to help me get in-game content and knows where to get and look for them. Thanks bro! I’m going to be going through some points throughout the timeline of my muse and not just stick to one of the installments so spoilers for the games and the film will be present. I’m obviously not going to be touching in on everything though since at the moment I’m only going by memory, but by what I do remember it’s enough for me to flesh out this second ramble of my boy, so please be wary! 

AGAIN! SPOILERS! *movie informant voice* Viewer discretion advised.

Cloud's sense of not being good enough and how he copes with it is something that has haunted him since he was a young kid. Many seem to forget that which is totally understandable considering all the things one has to keep up with in this series to not get too entirely lost in it, a lot to take in. A good number of fans are convinced that it all started when he lost his best friend in front of his eyes and then a year later losing yet another friend in front of his eyes once again. These two events are very important to Cloud’s character definitely, the two people he lost were very special to him and have impacted him in so many ways, but no that’s not where it started for him. It started way earlier. There's a lot of layers that make up Cloud and why he struggles with believing himself to be good enough and why his usual go-to method is just to hide and give up, to isolate himself completely from those that he's grown close to/attached to in one sense or another. Now I use the word attached loosely, so I'll say instead to those that he's warmed up to. That seems a bit more fitting to me. This specific post will also touch on that oh Cloud only gives a shit about himself/barely shows any emotion/feelings. As I mentioned in the beginning, this sense of not being good enough/not being strong enough is something that's haunted Cloud since he was a child, this fear of being a failure and constantly just failing. In the game it isn't something we know from the beginning but something we learn near the approaching ending of the game so way far into the game play not in the beginning. No backstory whatsoever, only its and pieces to piece together and basically you having to take Cloud's word for certain things. In the lifestream segment later on within the game where the player tries to unlock the true person that is Cloud you get introduced with some backstory between him and Tifa where young (real) Cloud shows Tifa a definitive and crucial memory that changed Cloud as a person forever, what initially, before this whole ShinRa/Sephiroth/JENOVA nonsense began, changed him and influenced the taking of his decisions as a young boy. Don't forget that Cloud was just a little boy when all of this happened so for this to go down in the age that he was at this time it hit him pretty hard and it was a pretty big pill to swallow. Not to say he was entirely naive obviously, but that it impacted him boy did it impact him. I’m going to start from the original game on the part of his childhood and then from there stick to the canon timeline of the entire series itself.

I’ve mentioned this specific incident in my last post, where Cloud follows and goes after Tifa when her entire squad get shady and leave her to go through Mt. Nibel on her own. He always seemed to be so inclined to show and prove a point and though he never wished for what took in that day to happen it did. She missed her footing, he was right there, to him he believes within the reach of actually doing something from preventing things to get worse, to help her and stop her from getting so hurt. But as the shot itself says, he ran to her but he didn’t make it in time, meaning he wasn’t fast enough or maybe his reaction was too slow and in the process instead got dragged down with her. Cloud’s injuries were minor ones in comparison to what Tifa got who got the hardest blow and the strongest impact of the fall, go figure how shitty he must’ve felt when her father showed up with a friend of his, seeing his beloved daughter presumably gone and Cloud with just scrapped knees in the process to wake up. When Cloud wakes up he wakes up to Tifa’s father with his daughter in his arms and obviously worried to the core about her. Her father doesn’t even glance at him when he’s taking her away and doesn’t even bother to ask if he’s okay too. He’s only left with her father’s friend who also didn’t even bother to ask if he was okay, instead he was questioned and attacked in a sense with this question:

Being placed a guilt that he shouldn’t have to be exposed to or even be accused of doing something because all he wanted and what his only intentions were to follow after her, maybe keep an eye on her if things got nasty, and they did. He tried to save her and he failed. After he’s left on his own you see little Cloud just sit there almost like he’s getting eaten alive by his own brain. By the incident and by what took place. What got to him wasn’t the older men who basically didn’t give a shit enough to ask if he was okay and alright. What got to him was that he couldn’t save someone else from getting hurt, that he failed to keep someone else who needed it the most in that point in time. From here it only gets worse and goes downhill. They all find out that Tifa isn’t in the best of shapes, she falls into a coma for an entire week and Cloud takes it all as his fault. Even worse because everybody seemed to think that Tifa was not going to be able to make it, to live through it. That he didn’t try hard enough, that he wasn’t good enough, that she is the way she is because he wasn’t good enough and that’s when it all really started for him, this blaming he often puts on himself and where this fear of just not being good enough in general stemmed from. Even when in the lifestream, when speaking to Tifa and trying to explain to her why that memory was so important to him he expresses that he did go out of control and that he did blame himself for what happened that day. That he believed he wasn’t good enough and goes as far as to say that he was convinced that she blamed him for what happened to her. That no matter what she said or anybody said he would always see it as his fault and that she blamed him for it. Obviously the dislike Tifa’s father had for him didn’t help the cause much either and only strengthened this thinking of his.

That sense of doubt was planted very early within him, more so because he was giving it his all to get to her and still didn’t make it in time. After what took place he confesses and opens up about acting up, that he went a bit out of control after what happened. That he began to pick fights with everybody and misbehaved, he grew reckless. This reckless behavior of his wasn’t something be adapted when he took on that fake persona but something he already had the ability to be. Almost like he was trying to prove something to everybody. All in the while still convinced that everything that happened was on his shoulders, that it was his doing and there had to be a certain thing he had to do to make up for it because it was making him act up. And I quote:

I was so angry at myself for my weakness.

He confesses to her, why he went down that path he did after that incident with her. He obviously kept all these things to himself because she didn’t even know he got this way over it, but in a sense acting up how he did isolated him, he placed up a wall to protect himself and preventing himself from utterly destroying himself as if people were going to remind him that it was his fault when in reality for the most part it was all in his head, the only one that had to do any forgiving whatsoever from the beginning was always him and nobody else. This is a good example of a child who’s caring too much, he’s taking it so to heart that it even moved him to take certain decisions he took which were then influenced later and turned into will-do’s by other things obviously, but this is the stem of where it started for him and in his case. Now this isn’t the end of it either, this is just the beginning because this also happens in CC obviously and though my memory of the game itself isn’t the best out there I’ll just be pointing out the parts I remember the most and that mostly stood out to me from that game itself. Aside from the extremely obvious section of Cloud blaming himself for what happened to Zack there’s a slight part within the Nibelheim mission that did stand out to me a lot and it’s the part where he and Zack are talking some things over. Again my memory of CC is not the best so I’ll be revisiting it again at some point but there’s this part where Cloud feels a sense of guilt and just not being good enough once more, aside from him hiding from Tifa and not entirely revealing himself to be there. Again Cloud using his way to cope with something he has a hard time to let go, that sense of believing that he isn’t deserved to be forgiven and believing that he isn’t by hiding/running away. Now the scene in CC I’m talking about is when he and Zack are n the inn after Zack encountered Genesis and tried to help/deal with Sephiroth. Cloud wakes up and is informed that Tifa’s safe and he doesn’t have to worry so much about her because she’s out of harm’s way.

Cloud sits up and he feels a sense of relief but before this scene Cloud’s HELPED by Tifa instead of it being the other way around, how he would have preferred as the thought of what happened that day in Mt. Nibel still haunts him and the weakness of him he so loathes and angers him so much within himself so in this scene Cloud actually goes as far as to blame himself a little, for not being an asset for Zack so much and just be another cause of worry and another person to look out for instead of someone Zack could maybe had the ability to rely on.

But in this particular time the circumstances are different, Cloud blaming the weakness and his inability to be anything more than a weight to Zack on the fact that he’s so far not made it into SOLDIER where it’s rumored its members get enhanced through mako and become a lots more stronger. Another thing he’s showing off in this scene is that failure to even make it into the ranks of SOLDIER and how he’s struggling with entering it at all. Constantly failing on what he left and abandoned his hometown to do anyway, why he hides away in general. Because so far he’s failed and hasn’t been able to keep up with what he’s trying to do, what he set himself up to do the day he found out about Sephiroth/began to admire him/want to become stronger. Failing over and over again, taking steps forward to get somewhere and putting it his all to only fall all the way there. Again there’s a lot of instances within the game where Cloud shows his torment of just not being good enough, believing that he isn’t, and blaming himself. The most obvious one being when Zack died in front of him. That one stands out the most for obvious reasons, ins his fragile state of mind and in the middle of recovering from mako poisoning, but this scene in Nibelheim also really stood out to be, it was very subtle and to really get it you’d have to remember some of the things I’ve mentioned in the beginning of his childhood to have it impact you as it did to me. Cloud’s reserved and even when Zack points out that there’s some issues and senses that there’s something wrong Cloud doesn’t entirely come clean as to what it is that’s bothering him, instead just lets Zack know that yes he has some sort of relation to Tifa and the source of it is from a certain thing that could have possibly happened with her. This thing about Cloud not being very caring about many things, to all their take and without argument he does come off that way plenty of times but here you have a good example of just how above and beyond Cloud really and can truly care. The incident with Tifa marked him forever, not because of how he was treated, but because he failed to help her even when he was trying so hard to do so that it impacted his choices and his behavior. Cloud wanted to become stronger so that something like that never happens again, so that someone who’s helpless never has to feel like they can’t depend on him if he’s there to do something about it.

When he claimed his promise to Tifa, that he’ll become stronger, make it into SOLDIER, and this time without a doubt he’d get and help her out when she’s on a pinch were HIS words. Words he had YET to live up to by this time. In his opinion he hasn’t become stronger, he had to depend on Tifa to help him, he failed to become an asset to Zack and instead became another source of worry on top of everything else that was already going on, and he has not made it into SOLDIER how he swore that he was when he talked to her. So when he wakes up in the inn with all of this going on of course the guilt he always feels should be on him begins to set in and that weakness within himself he hates so much. Like I said before Cloud does come off as a withdrawn person and he never speaks up about how he feels in general so of course he’s going to seem like someone who doesn’t really give a shit in a lot of occasions, it’s something that doesn’t really stand out about him so much because he keeps all of those things to himself, locked away where nobody can reach them. In a way done to shield and protect himself obviously but not just himself but others to prevent them from getting too close because again, he just feels like he isn’t good enough to protect anybody. For a good while in the events of the original game these things are hidden after what he went through with Zack and adapting what he did all in thanks to the mako poisoning and JENOVA itself. But, as I mentioned on my previous meta, as you go and progress through the game you start to notice that something’s wrong, that something’s completely off and that there’s either missing pieces, misplaced pieces, or pieces that shouldn’t even be there and Cloud himself progressively starts to realize these things. Obviously not on his own. His character evolves and changes throughout the game, going from someone who’s all about the solo life into someone who appreciates those that stick with him. And boy does he appreciate. Especially someone in particular, Aeris.

This scene is probably the most important scene in the debate of Cloud only cares for himself because when he loses her he expresses his pain, how much it hurts him to lose his friend. This woman who’s impacted his life and was brutally taken away from it. He even shakes when he holds her. 

There’s a snip where Sephiroth even mocks him for showing emotions and Cloud snaps back at him saying that he does, that he does feel a lot of things and who Sephiroth thinks he is to claim that he doesn’t or can’t or maybe even has no right to show them. Throughout the game itself Cloud isn’t given time to grieve over all the loss they had to go through to get where they are, there’s no time for it. There’s so much going on and so much he has to keep himself on his toes for, but every now and then there are little snips of him within the game after this event showing weakness. Saying things along the lines of how much he wished he could have done something or what ifs, what if there was anything he could have done differently at the time. His sense of guilt and his want not to fail and be a shield to those he warms up to is something he’s struggled to do but really wants to prove that point, to prove himself to someone, anybody, like there’s a need to do so even though there’s obviously none and this kind of deep turmoil only sets in when its him failing after trying not to fail. Again, during the events of the game and after the loss of Aeris Cloud isn’t given a lot of time to grieve because things just keep coming at him and his friends to only get worse when he finds out about Zack and remembers everything and even goes as far as to ask to be numbered. There’s a lot for him to do and to get out of the way and isn’t given the downtime to grieve. But this, this opportunity to express this pain presents itself a bit before AC going into AC. Everything’s calmed down in a sense, they saved and did what they could, in the end with the influence of Aeris the planet ended up saving itself. Now there’s a lot of things that happen in between fvii and AC, Cloud finding Denzel and then having to deal with knowing he has geostigma and then furthermore even leaving his home, and then plagued with thoughts of Zack and Aeris and how he utterly failed to save them and be of any help to them at all.

There’s still a lot going on no doubt about it, but the planet isn’t ending what’s coming to an end is his life and he has implied to not wanting to do anything about that fact because he doesn’t deserve nor has earned forgiveness for his sins. Again, him running away and hiding to spare himself, but not just him but his friends. Though Cloud doesn’t completely cut communication with them, keeping his phone, listening to their voice messages if they leave one, he doesn’t want them to know of his illness. That’s the thing, even Tifa didn’t know he was suffering from Geostigma which at first threw me to a loop when she said that because in Cloud’s desk, the room he left, there’s books and papers concerning it and how to find a cure for it/its effects and what it does to people.

Not just one book or a couple of papers, but two books and a lot of papers concerning the geostigma and if he was not doing it for himself then why do it? What made him want to look these things up? The newest addition and member to his family, Denzel, someone else he’s come to love and care about and he’s one to keep things that’s happened in the past in mind, that if he’s failed before for his loved ones then why would this time if he tries to do anything will make it any different? That’s because he doesn’t think so even though he wants to help, all of those bookmarks you see, all of those papers he studies, those notes he takes. He does them for that boy he’s come to adore and want to protect. To want to serve as a parental figure since in part the reason why Denzel lost his family was also a blame to set on them, or so they also come to think that way. This isn’t just a man who’s running away because he’s given up, this is a man who’s running away because he’s scared of making things worse. His words within this movie that really stand out to the fandom and to me are:

I’m not fit to help anyone..not my family, not my friends..nobody.

History’s convinced him that he can care and want to do as much as he wants but no matter what he tries he will always be doomed to fail. This doubt, this seed that started since the day he and Tifa fell off that cliff and only further got worse with the events he went through. He was convinced that all of that loss and misfortune was on his shoulders and nobody, no matter what they told him or said would be able to convince him otherwise which only made it even more sad and even got him to the point of maybe giving up. He didn’t want to try anymore because of that fear that it’ll eventually backfire, that his good intentions will be greeted with a bad ending. It’s scary, a very scary thing that you’re convinced that you’re doomed to fail. Cloud simply can’t bear the thought of knowing that the geostigma has no cure that no matter how much he searches he won’t find a thing concerning it because that means Denzel’s doomed and not just Denzel but him as well even if he’s not the priority for his want to search for a cure, but knowing that if his friends were made aware that he’s suffering from it then they would also suffer with him, the way Marlene watches Denzel slowly fall apart. It’s a very hard thing for him to grasp and something he’d rather avoid, by again hiding and running away, keeping to himself as he’s always done. Seeing Aeris and Zack again, when speaking to Aeris she makes it clear that she’s never blamed him and the one that has to start doing the forgiving is him. he’s the one that needs to do the forgiving, nobody else which again it’s hard to do because this sort thinking has followed him since he was a kid. Cloud wants to believe he’s good enough but again when from the start he’s been made believe that way and only continued to escalate from there it was hard for him to think that he was, that he is. He was making it but he was falling all the way through it and that’s why that doubt is there and why coming terms with himself regarding it will take time just like anything else.

[hamaon]

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS: Final Fantasy VII

 WHO WANTS TO READ 3000+ WORDS WORTH OF THIS STUFF

Top 5 favourite characters: Cloud’s story is very impressive for a 90s JRPG protagonist, and the glimpses of personality you get over the course of the game and towards the end especially are divine;I gave my heart to AVALANCHE early on, a moment of silence for all those who died so young;the image I have of Elmyra is a lot groovier than what there actually is in the game, but I’m hanging on to it;Tifa won me over just by her battle animations, and from these modest origins it grew and grew;

Nanaki is so serious, and also a baby.

Other characters you like: The bravest pilot-in-training who could. I believe in you, little guy.

Least favourite characters: “The hidden optional characters”, is what I was going to say, but I like Yuffie much better than Vincent. I actively dislike her character design (what is even going on there), but she’s vengeful and proud. All the characters in this game are more enjoyable if you highlight their unsavory qualities.

Vincent, though, is a miss. An unfortunate combination of things that I don’t care about. His main contribution to the story is giving more insight on Hojo and Sephiroth (and the Turks, I guess), but what I’d like to know more about are things to do with Gast, the Ancients, and Aerith’s involvement, and he has nothing to do with that. Also, Shinra by itself just isn’t interesting to me, it’s their involvement with the main characters (especially in the first areas of the game) that is fun, and again Vincent misses out.

There’s also the fact that- if there’s one mythological being that I couldn’t care less about, it’s vampires, and he shares a lot of the aesthetics, and- I don’t like using him in battle. The only time I used him during my first playthrough was when the party first crosses the mountains past Nibelheim, and taking him to the boss battle at end of the dungeon was a bad idea. It liked fire, and Vincent’s monster form whatever-beast liked producing said fire, and one thing led to another.

I love his theme, I guess, but I don’t even think of it as his theme. It’s the theme of the basement of the Shinra mansion and its fantastic, creepymonsters.

Also, Aerith, but more on that later.

Otps: I’m into Cloud/Tifa, but less for the chemistry and more for narrative reasons. I just think it makes a good story? Watching them dance around their memories of their shared past is the true heart of the game, for me.

I like that it’s romantic on Tifa’s part, but when you go back to the beginning of the game, once you know what sorts of questions the characters have been holding back on… how much of it is romantic on Tifa’s part, again?

I like that it isn’t romantic on Cloud’s part… until you get to the Lifestream, and the cause of this mess and the most honest truth at the core of it all was just a little boy crushing on the popular girl next door.

I like the idea of them deciding to stick together, the two survivors, now that they can admit out loud that they never really even knew each other.

I like how, with all of his regrets and failures, Cloud never did fail her.

(And I kind of like that the underdog in the triangle got the guy, in the end.)

I used to be passionately into Aerith/Tifa, early on – her interactions with Tifa are the best I liked Aerith – but I’ve let go of it, since. It’s okay to enjoy relationships without making them romantic, past me.

Not sure whether this is is an “otp “or a “notp” thing, or something else entirely, but I‘ve become very attached to the idea of Cid/no one as of late. Maybe the plot circumstances forcing him and Shera to stay separated helps them realize that it’s healthier this way. I want Cid to be grouchy and middle-aged and difficult to deal with on his airship, with his loyal crew and no romantic interest ever again.

And honestly, I’d be all for an AU where Cloud derails the plot by running off with some random AVALANCHE member in the early Midgar portion of the game. Jessie is the best candidate. Let Cloud and Jessie elope.

Notps: Cloud/Sephiroth. Aerith/Cloud as a reciprocal thing, because I enjoy their interactions better if Aerith isn’t serious about him (Cloud -> Aerith is fine, though).

Favourite friendships: Barret and Tifa. It was framed more as “Barret supports Tifa”, but I imagine that Tifa used to babysit Marlene quite a bit when AVALANCHE was smaller, so it evens out somewhat. They have a lot of shared history between just the two of them.

Aerith and Tifa. And listen, this isn’t pretty, but I want to think that they didn’t like each other that much, at first, even if it didn’t show – because why would they be rude towardseach other? Why wouldn’t they want to rescue innocent people? Maybe Aerith is a bit dismissive towards Tifa, unconsciously. Overrules her on things, without thought. I want Tifa putting up appearances that she enjoys Aerith’s company more than she really does, when really at times she makes her uneasy in ugly, jealous ways. All of that beingsomething they are already correcting themselves on come Kalm, quietly. On the way towards the chocobo farm you can see them walking together more often than not, and it continues that way until Aerith skedaddles.

Cloud and Yuffie. I just think that the detail of the shared motion sickness is nice and genuine. And in general, Cloud is yanked around by the story so much, it’s nice that he has someone he can be a mentor figure to. Good for the both of them.

Favourite family: Cloud’s, painfully unexplored as it was. It would benefit the game if there was just a touch more about Cloud’s mother. Just one more little scene, late in the game, to underline that she was loved, and that she’s gone, and that he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Favourite episodes: The entire Lifestream sequence where player-Tifa finally gets some answers to questions that have been left hanging since the first five minutes of the game.

Actually no, the entire game starting from where Cloud starts unraveling at the Noozupooru and the title of player character bounces back between a couple of party members as you’re putting the story together, culminating in the Lifestream sequence. But especially the Lifestream sequence.

Favourite season/book/movie: Original game? I think I liked the short animation thingy, Last Order, when I saw it ~ten years ago, but I can’t be assed to rewatch it now.

Favourite quotes: Any, as long as it comes with rustic typos in it. Absolutely beautiful.

Best musical moment: “Overworld“, as I had originally written down, like Tina’s theme, is a beautiful epic that encompasses all the highs and the lows of the narrative, but having listened to it for way too long while watching my friend play the game I’m in the “can’t stand” part of my cyclical relationship with the song. So let’s talk about Cid’s theme instead!

My first exposure to Cid’s theme was in the form of a background midi on a friend’s angelfire page, and I had no idea where the song was from. The file that I eventually managed to download on my computer was named something to the effect of ff7-cid, which told me nothing. No one in my family played video games.

As I said, I downloaded song. I used some .mid-to-sheet-music converter software on our computer to make it playable and printed it out. It wasn’t made for piano (and I definitely wasn’t good enough at notation to make an arrangement of my own), so I’d just follow along the notes as I put the midi on. I never did learn to play it. I never got a group together to try to play it – there’s nothing impressive about this story.

Fast forward several years, and I played the game. At that point it had been a long time since I had listened to the original midi, but I still remembered that I had built something way more epic around the song than what actually went down in the game. Not that Cid’s quest for the skies isn’t impressive, but it had sounded like something that would play during a last stand type of scene at the end of a story. My bad.

It’s still an impressive piece.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: You lose control of the main character! That’s pretty metal?

When it really disappointed you: My introduction to the game was Advent Children, which I don’t think I had many strong feelings about? But I saw people online mourning the death of Aerith’s character (made even worse by Crisis Core) and how she was supposed to have been amazing in the game. So I played the game expecting something truly spectacular and… well, FF7 doesn’t have bad writing, I don’t think, but the characters definitely need you to meet them halfway before you can truly appreciate their potential. And Aerith mostly just hit on Cloud, so I was unwilling to even try. Disappointing, in the truest sense of the word.

I have a history of hating most Final Fantasy romance, and most of the characters doing most of the romance-inclined things. Edge hits on Rydia? Shit character. Locke hits on Celes? Shit character. Rinoa hits on Squall? Shit character (okay originally I liked her for that and only started hating her later in the game, adding her to the list here isn’t fair). Zidane hits on Garnet? Shit character. Yuna hitting on Tidus initially made me label her as a shit character as well, and I can actually pinpoint the very line of dialogue that made me stop thinking of her that way, but my main point is that in the beginning of FF10, I hated Yuna.

Anyway, I like to think that every time Aerith is hitting on Cloud, she’s joking! Because that’s what the root of my disinterest in engaging with her can be traced back to! Most of my headcanons are about Aerith, honestly. I make kind of half-hearted efforts to like her, occasionally, but I need to do it on my own terms – in order to enjoy her character, I need to be able to own her character. Otherwise I’m in a situation where I don’t care for the character much, and every time people point out some feature about them that makes them “perfect”, the bitterness increases. The “I was pretty neutral on this character, but everyone talking about how they’re the best thing ever made me loathe them” feeling. Yeah.

Saddest moment: I’m currentlythinking about the Nibelheim flashback where Cloud just plain refuses to talk about his mother and that’s a sad moment, isn’t it?

Most well done character death: Rufus went out gloriously. The whole scene with the multiple delayed laser beams whose projections you had to keep track of was magnificent, plus a corrupt corporation sacrificing everything for the greater good was pretty nice. Redemption in death.

Glad he wasn’t retconned into having survived or anything, that’d just ruin everything.

Favourite guest star: Cid had his moment in the spotlight, before slinking back into the shadows until XII?

Favourite cast member: Character, okay. Tifa, probably. A bunch of neutral to positive character traits, distinct nostalgia in the character theme, some half-assed writing, best animations in battle, a role that was fantastically spot-on in unravelling the main character’s labyrinthine headspace.

It’s less who Tifa is as a character, and more the good vibes surrounding her role in the story and some of the aesthetic decisions that went into creating the character. I mean, she’s a female monk. Just give her a version of the AC outfit that isn’t all black and stillhas the suspenders.

Character you wish was still alive: Nanaki’s mom.

One thing you hope really happens: Nanaki’s mom becomes an actual character in the remake. She completely drops out of everyone’s consciousness once it turns out that the Dad was the Important One. You have this rare heroic mother who is remembered for her feats in battle, only for her to disappear from the story completely. I’d like for Nanaki to remember them together. Wasn’t she supposed to have been something of a role model for him, before?

Most shocking twist: When the nameless Shinra grunt took off his helmet.

I keep thinking back to that gifset of that scene with the caption “that’s what Final Fantasy VII is all about, Charlie Brown“, and. Yeah.

When did you start watching/reading?: After Advent Children came out.

Best animal/creature: I have so many feelings about that one house in the Sector 7 slums. Primarily ”how“ and “why“. And “rocket launchers”.

Everything inside the sunken Gelnika is super cool, too. As is the Ruby Weapon, or however you capitalize that. Ruby WEAPON.

Favourite location: First visit to Nibelheim, if I’m being honest. Basement of Gold Saucer, if I’m not.

Trope you wish they would stop using: Will they?? Or… won’t they?? Let’s drag this love triangle shit on f o r e v e r.

Like please, FF10 was the best because they settled the will they won’t they thing pretty early on, just let this matter be resolved so we can have some development in some direction, please. Let him get on with his relationship with Tifa so we can have some real progress, let him break it off for real, just do something. As long as it isn’t ”he’s hung on Aerith forever“, because that goes directly against the development at the end of the game. Give him a new love interest, if you don’t want to piss anyone specific off, just stop beating this horse, it’s been dead for twenty years.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: That’s what Final Fantasy VII is all about, Charlie Brown.

Funniest moments: When I was playing the game with a friend, and she triggered the bug where you don’t get portable save point in your inventory, and we only noticed halfway through the final dungeon. We still beat the game without any save slots. It’s not a very difficult game.

Couple you would like to see: please just fuckign Cloud/Jessie.

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Anyway, I’d like it if there were more female characters in the party, with more varied roles. Any of the main party members besides Barret, Reeve and Vincent could have been female, I think (I like Barret as a father, and Reeve is such a late reveal that it wouldn’t serve the intended purpose. And Vincent is optional). Cid, Nanaki, someone new? Cloud? Maybe Jessie could survive?

Actually, unpopular (?) opinion time, somewhat related, hang with me here, but I don’t think Tifa being ancillary to Cloud’s story is a bad thing at all. He’s the main character, his story is the most important story of the game, and her story supplements his story beautifully. The problem is that after the first disc, she’s the only active female character of any real importance. That’s where her propping up Cloud starts becoming a problem.

More female characters.

Favourite outfit: I love Aerith’s design, it’s spectacular. At first glance all you can see is pink, but it’s super practical, and plain, too. Some of it is probably because that’s how the game is designed in general, no one is very decorated, but still, Tifa wears earrings.

A simple dress, practical shoes. A plain bow, crude metal bracelets, and some random string around her neck. It’s like she just picked one up one day and went, why the hell not? That’s actually something I do when I’m cleaning and find pieces of string or broken rubber bands. Just tie them wherever, arm, neck, around my head.

It’s my headcanon that her dress was originally white, but it was washed with something red (that seems to be her color, no?) and was accidentally dyed in the process.

The short jacket is my favorite. I like the idea that she’d go for that big-shouldered look in other outfits, too. It looks so weird. I love it.

Favourite item: All materia. The ‘all’ materia.

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: Nothing official aside from the game itself. A couple of art prints. There’s one with Nanaki with his cubs looking over the ruins of Midgar that I need to get framed at some point, if I have the money.

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: AVALANCHE all the way. The concept of bitter eco-terrorists is something that resonates closely with so much of my youth.

Most boring plotline: A lot of Barret’s stuff could have had better focus, unfortunately. Tying things back to Marlene & Elmyra & the working class more would have been appreciated.

Most laughably bad moment: I can’t decide between the kidnapping of Elena and Yuffie in Wutai, and the cannon-top slapdown between a corporate executive and a lifetime martial artist. It’s a horrible tie.

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: So much is centered around the Nibelheim flashbacks, let’s pick something else.

Cid’s Rocket Town flashback is pretty good, it makes you feel the frustration, and it manages to humanize him at the same time. Also, it isn’t a montage info-dump flashback, which FF7 falls victim to, occasionally.

Most layered character: Much of the plot is about putting different aspects of Cloud back together, sometimes more than figuratively, so, Cloud.

Most one dimensional character: Palmer. You know, because he gets run over by a… truck…

Scariest moment: The Shinra tower, after you escape from the jail. There have been just enough uncomfortable elements shown to you beforehand. There was something unnatural in that tank earlier, but it’s gone now. The soundtrack turned Silent Hill all of a sudden. Maybe you could receive comfort from the masses, now that you are facing a shared enemy of a new, strange caliber. The tower was bustling with life just moments ago.

But where is everyone.

Grossest moment: Cid yelling at Shera. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Best looking male: Once you get past all the associations you have with white/silver-haired men in Japanese media, and the fact that it’s Sephiroth, Sephiroth is quite pleasing to the eye. The boob window is nice. Looks strong without being overbearing.

But at the end of the day, it’s still…. Sephiroth.

Best looking female: Everyone is a pile of polygons, but in my mind’s eye I always imagine Ifalna as a breathtaking beauty.

Who you’re crushing on (if any): no.

Favourite cast moment: I don’t keep up with creator commentary. I like to live dangerously.

Favourite transportation: All chocobos are beautiful in their own way. Incidentally, nothing that came after the original game counts as canon to me, and Cloud became a chocobo rancher near Corel. He goes snowboarding with Yuffie, sometimes, when she’s visiting and he’s trying to catch rare breeds in the mountains.

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): Midgar, as a whole. The dirty neon lights hiding eco-terrorists and secret flowerbeds. The ruins in the epilogue, when you end the game unsure whether most of the player characters even survived Holy. It just feels like a lot of love went into creating Midgar.

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: I was discussing Cid’s small pre-final dungeon Loveless monologue with The Friend Who Played Through My Copy Of Final Fantasy VII, and we came to the conclusion that we couldn’t come to a conclusion. It’s just… vague. Is it talking about dying? Who/what is supposed to work as a parallel to this play?Is it just a bad translation?

While we’re at this sort of thing, let’s talk about sequel stuff! and how Zack is what finally ties all the loose ends back together. About Cloud. About Aerith. He’s an explanation and a motivator, and from a story perspective, unimportant as a character with motivations of his own. Ultimately it doesn’t matter why he did what he did, only that he did them. He should never have been in the spotlight. In Final Fantasy VII, Zack would never have been in the spotlight.

Moreover, he’s gone. Aerith, the one who’d most benefit from having some answers, is gone. And it was fine that way.

Best promo: Uh. The FF4 flash ads with ostriches in them.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Nibelheim.

[adventhero-blog1]

    i have written about cloud’s behaviours in the original game before, but feel that i need to ramble about it in a little more depth, so that’s what this will entail. basically, the common understanding is that throughout the course of the original game, cloud inherited zack’s past / memories  &  behaviours. TO AN EXTENT,  this is true. for the most part, however, it is not. his memories are always ... hazy, and don’t add up. there are things that he should know and doesn’t, but really   ——  nothing that he does know and couldn’t possibly have found out or been told. what i believe, is that cloud is acting as though he was a first class SOLDIER;  not ZACK, but just some generic 1st class with what information he’s gathered about them. he does assume zack’s perspective in a couple of scenes, e.g. when he’s remembering the nibelheim incident  ( he’d have had to;  on the journey there, the only other SOLDIER there was sephiroth,  &  if he was certain about anything ... it’s that he made SOLDIER ), but subsequently ... even that isn’t quite right. because cloud still thinks that he’s CLOUD;  that he knew tifa, and that he grew up in nibelheim. what cloud envisions is his ideal perspective of things. he seems to conveniently forget that tifa wasn’t actually his friend growing up  ( rather, an acquaintance )  ——  &  that he was an outcast.

    in order to cope with the trauma of all that’d come to pass, he created a fake persona based off of things that he had witnessed,  &  others that he just wanted to be true. cloud’s whole reason for joining SOLDIER was to become strong, so that he could be noticed;  ACKNOWLEDGED, and so that he could protect those he loved. sephiroth was the fixation of all that he aspired to be;  the person that he’d really most want to wind up working alongside. i think he put himself in zack’s place at times to compensate for the fact that  ( as an infantryman )  he never got to do that. more-so, cloud was certain he was a SOLDIER,  &  that it wouldn’t make SENSE for him to not have known / worked with sephiroth because of that. honestly, though  ——  i believe he was more himself than people seem to think. at the very least, he certainly didn’t act like zack.

    let’s face it;  cloud wasn’t exactly the most likeable guy in the original game.  ( which significantly parallels zack’s character and behaviours. how he was good,  &  caring. HEROIC )  at least, not at the beginning. you could argue that in crisis core he wasn’t so bitter and, arguably, arrogant ... but in crisis core he still had dreams and aspirations. his mother was still alive, sephiroth was still ‘alright’  ——  and things generally weren’t so god-awful. even if cloud doesn’t remember zack, or the four years they were experimented on ...  he  DOES  recall similar feelings of sorrow, despair  &  betrayal. he’s still himself  ( and if you’ve played the og, you know that he isn’t all brooding and entirely uncaring. he’s cocky, and a little selfish at times ?  but not a bad person. )  except, i think he maybe fell back on subconscious traits he’d sorta grown out of expressing. for example, NARCISSISM  and nonchalance as a means of guarding himself. aggression, too  ——  all traits he bore as a kid. 

     ——  cloud does recall this scene, except when he describes it to the squad in kalm he believes himself to be standing in zack’s position. this is still  ( ... blatantly )  sephiroth talking directly to cloud,  &  that  DID  happen, except the way he remembers it is slightly askew;  it’s tweaked to fit the belief he was in SOLDIER. basically ... most of what cloud recalls is a mix of his own memories, plastered in the unwavering belief that  ( regardless of any lack of evidence he may have to back it up )  he  WAS  part of SOLDIER, worked with sephiroth, and a man named zack fair never existed. he’s suppressing his trauma by creating a more bearable reality.

     ——  this isn’t even  EVERY  example of an infantryman bearing witness to most everything  that zack did. that infantryman is later shown to be cloud. he doesn’t need to miraculously gain zack’s memories  &  behaviours to know what happened back then;  he bore witness to it himself. he was always there, every step of the way, albeit quiet and with a subtle appearance. anything else that he claims in the original game is more likely than not fabricated  ( ... on the spot, no less )  for the sake of  MAKING  things make sense. naturally, there are some exceptions. for example, cloud’s visit to his mother. the house that he visits in the flashback,  &  the woman there are real. undoubtedly, that is his home and his mother. only, in crisis core ... cloud doesn’t have time to visit her. 

    more likely, what happened is that cloud conjured up a memory in which he did visit her, to match his alternate reality;  where things play out way the way he would have preferred them to, before everything went wrong. at the time of his explanation  (  —— VISUALLY,  within the flashback )  things are distorted, and not quite right. his memories are broken up, almost ... and he seems to be making things up as he goes along. of course, to cloud, this is all fact. he doesn’t know any better. or, rather ... he knows, but it’s being suppressed. this backs up my often overlooked argument that cloud remembers things that ZACK never witnessed;  in the og, or in crisis core.

    the infantryman in the og  ( confirmed cloud in crisis core )  expresses concern for sephiroth,  &  seems to be the ‘guard’ set watch by the staircase;  presumably to note WHEN and if he enters and leaves. something easily overlooked or put down to discrepancies between the og and crisis core is the fact that in the flashback, cloud does actually confront sephiroth. everyone else leaves him be  ( also confirmed in crisis core )  ——  &  yet, in the flashback, for whatever reason there’s a scene where;  right before the FIRE,  cloud talks with sephiroth.

     ——  to which sephiroth labels him a ‘traitor’, and proceeds to talk about all that he’s learned;  about the jenova project, the cetra / ancients, and the fact that he was created. this scene isn’t in cc  ( zack’s perspective )  and given the fact that cloud seems to switch back  &  forth between his FALSIFIED memories and his true memories, even if a little distorted ... i’m inclined to believe that this was a canon memory on cloud’s part. not that he managed to help matters any, but it does back up my theory of cloud retaining some personal memories. 

    when we next see cloud, he’s laying outside in the middle of a burning nibelheim. presumably, he’d chosen to pursue sephiroth into the village  &  perhaps been ‘stunned’ / not killed, but rendered UNABLE to be a nuisance. though he does remember the events from that point from zack’s perspective, again  ——  he doesn’t remember them entirely in that light. he recalls lifting a wounded tifa in the reactor  ( which he did as an infantryman;  zack ran on ahead  & was then struck down )  and as far as i’m aware,  RECALLS  the fact that he managed to stab sephiroth with the buster sword, as well as the words that he spoke.

     ——  conveniently, he doesn’t seem to remember  ANYTHING  from that point onward.