#he does indeed have very special eyes

[egginfroggin]

Marked.

(Revenge of the highlighter brush)

I had a Thought last night, and while Emmet doesn't actually have Arceus's crest on each of his eyes in WtST, I thought that it would look really cool, so here we are.

Now that I'm more awake, I realize that this concept was most like implanted in my brain a while ago after looking at this piece of artwork by Esprei. Which is fantastic, by the way, go look at it and give it attention, look at it it's beautiful. (Still a little confused on the mentioning etiquette on here; I don't know if I should tag people whenever I mention them or not, as every time I've tagged another user has been when I've either made something for them or found something I think they'd like, and I'm quite concerned about bothering people. Sorry)

While I'm not totally, 100% happy with everything about this piece, I do really the contrast with everything being monochrome but a few sparkles and the crests in his eyes. I do like that a lot. Contrast, beloved.

Could I have done this with Akari or Rei and had it not be WtST stuff? Yes, yes I could have. Did I? No, of course not, how was I supposed to resist the chance to give Emmet a li'l extra funk?

Welp, have a good day!

(Program used: Krita; time taken: 1 hour, 45 minutes)

[hyunverse]

wherever you are ☆ hwang hyunjin.

hyunjin x fem!reader. childhood best friends to lovers. slowburn, pining. fluff, angst. suggestive. a hyunjin birthday special.

wc: 12.9k words.

warnings: reader often referred to as "girl," suggestive. mentions of sex.

note: this fic is my baby. it might be one of my favourite things i've ever written so far, please treat it well <3 feedbacks are very much appreciated.

playlist.

Hyunjin promised you that he'll be wherever you are. What do you do when your best friend of years — the only person you've ever loved disappears without saying goodbye? Especially when you've spent your entire life with Hyunjin, you didn't know of life without him.

one.

“Happy Birthday, Hyunjin.”

It was Hyunjin’s 10th birthday. 

Despite already singing him a happy birthday song, you muttered the wish once again in the comfort of his tree house. He sat adjacent to you, feet dangling over the platform, the large leaves hovering over the tree house’s roof providing shelter from the blinding sunlight. 

He hummed in gratitude, eyes busy watching Kkami running around below the tree house. Afternoons with Hyunjin were often spent like this — hanging out in the tree house as Kkami played around on the grass, its barks mirroring its happiness. For years, you’ve spent enjoying the fact that your afternoons were spent like this — were spent with Hyunjin, in childish innocence. 

After letting the silence take over for a while, Hyunjin turned his head towards you, a little surprised once he saw that you were already looking at him. He tried his best to not let his surprise show. 

“Why did you want to come up here? I thought you were enjoying the party inside.” 

Indeed, you were enjoying the birthday party, a little too much for Hyunjin’s liking. The boys from Hyunjin’s school came to the party, and you seemed to get along with them quickly, despite being the only girl at the party. Hyunjin hates to admit it but he was a little envious. He told himself that he’s jealous because he’s your number one best friend, so you should pay more attention to him. It was true, but only partially — he was jealous because they were all boys. Not that he would ever admit that to himself.

To Hyunjin’s question, you responded by extending your arms to him, revealing a white box in your palm. He took it, quickly recognizing it as a jewellery box. He’s received one of them after purchasing a Mother’s Day gift. Quietly, he examined the engravings on the box, and the pristine look of it. Honestly, he was impressed by how clean you have kept it. You had always been one to dirty your white clothes. 

“What’s this?” he asked, answering his own enquiry by opening the box with you sitting close, peering over his hands.

Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat.

In the box laid two necklaces, black strings with Lego pieces as pendants. They were matching necklaces. The Lego piece of each necklace formed a heart when joined together. His brown eyes widened, in disbelief of the gift. He’s never received something like this — something matching. It made his heart flutter — no, it beat faster than it does while playing soccer. Hyunjin turned to look into your eyes, and it was as though he had found a new revelation in yours. The more Hyunjin looked at you, the more the realization seeped in, until it overtook his senses.

You’re a girl. 

You weren’t just the kid from next door, you weren’t like his other friends — you’re a girl. You like Disney princesses, you have a pretty face, you like Sanrio characters, you have soft hair, you like painting nails, you have pink lips from your strawberry lip balm, you like matching necklaces — you’re a girl. 

A very pretty girl.

It felt like a revelation after having been friends with you for over five years. As though the necklaces in the box held some sort of power to snap one from a trance. Hyunjin realized that you were different from his other friends. For one, you have softer hands. Moreover, you’re someone he can develop a crush on — or whatever girls call it. 

His finger traced the pendants, feeling the bumps of the Lego pieces. He smiled, one that reached his ears. You felt yourself releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. 

“I love it soooo much. Thank you.”

Unlike other boys (the stinky ones from your school), Hyunjin didn’t cringe at the gift. The way he gently examined the necklaces mirrored the appreciation he felt towards it. If he was any other boy, he would’ve probably laughed at the gift, then poked fun at you. 

Then again, Hyunjin had never been like the other boys you knew.

He was different in the way he spoke softly to you (softer than he would to his guy friends), and how he would let you change the TV channel from Snoopy to Totally Spies. He had always been different, that being the reason why you were so fond of him. 

“You like it? Really?” you queried, staring at him. You watched his expressions carefully, trying to sense for any lies.

“Really! Which one do you want?” he answered, absolutely no hesitations. He wasn’t lying.

Hyunjin panned the box towards you, prompting you to pick which necklace. One was in black, the other in white. As always, he gave in to you, letting you be the one to choose. 

“White!”

The sun was setting when you both swayed your legs, wearing the matching necklaces. Hyunjin was genuinely happy, one of his hands wouldn’t stop fiddling with the pendant. The party was still lively inside, but he much preferred sitting with you — his one and only best friend. 

“Yn,” your best friend’s voice broke you from your trance. “What do you want for your birthday?” 

“Hm,” you pondered, tapping your pointer on your chin in a cartoonish manner.

He was looking at you, an expectant expression on his face. You pulled up your legs to cross them as you thought. 

“I think…” your voice trailed, “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!” 

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “at least make it something I could give you!”

You pouted, “but that’s what I want!” 

The boy sighed, laying back on the rough surface of the tree house. He looked up, observing the little glow-in-the-dark stars plastered onto the tree house ceiling. He recalled putting them up with you. You were impossible to deal with. Hyunjin desperately wanted to know your wish — something he could give you for your birthday. Your gift to him made him really happy, and he wished to return the favour. 

“Then, I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris with you.” 

It was such an innocent, child-like answer — straight from a 10-year-old’s desire. Untainted by the boulevard of broken dreams. As if anything in the world was possible, and that the universe was kind all the time. 

“Really?” you chirped, looking at him with disbelief in your eyes. You giggled in glee and plopped yourself down beside him. “Really really? You really really really mean it, Hyunnie?” 

At that point, Hyunjin could only giggle and nod. “Of course! I’ll be wherever you are.”

The manner in which you hugged him expressed your excitement. You were practically suffocating him, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing tightly. 

“You’re my best friend in the world!” 

Hyunjin felt like he could die. 

His heart continued beating rapidly, worsened by you nuzzling your face into his neck. Hyunjin knew, it was just you being your usual self. However, the revelation he experienced minutes earlier made the tips of his ears turn red. 

“Hyunjin! Come down here! Your friends are about to leave!”

At that very moment, Hyunjin silently thanked his mother for saving him.

two.    

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A question which had you staring into space — the walls of Hyunjin’s bedroom for a while. The blue walls were plastered with posters of numerous musicians and self-made artworks.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know the answer. You knew. Ballet had been a part of your life since small, it was your everything. It wasn’t that you were unsure if you wanted to do ballet, you were unsure if you should be doing ballet. 

Uneasiness settled into your stomach, but you tried to keep them in. You were in no mood to be going through an identity crisis.

“Ballerina,” you stated, matter-of-factly. Your eyebrows furrowed when Hyunjin chuckled.

“What?”

“Your answer hasn’t changed,” Hyunjin laughed, but not in a humorous way. Rather, it was in an expectant way, as if he knew that’s what you would answer. 

You straightened your posture and tilted your head. Hyunjin laughed even more, making a comment that you looked like Kkami.

“Have you asked me the same thing before?”

He nodded, “sort of? Kind of. On my tenth birthday, I asked you what you wanted.” Hyunjin cleared his throat and took a deep breath, mimicking the voice of younger you. “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!”

“Oh, shut up!” you rumbled, hitting him with his bolster repeatedly. “That’s not how I sounded like!”

“It so was!” 

Truthfully, you couldn’t quite recall the memory. You didn’t doubt Hyunjin though, it did sound like something you would’ve said. 

You queried again.

“What did you answer then?” 

Hyunjin turned silent. He didn’t like where this was going, not fond of recalling the cheesy answer he gave you. As he looked away from your gaze, you pressed him further. Even threatened to dog-nap Kkami.

“Fine. I said… I said I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris too…” his voice trailed, getting smaller, “said I’ll be wherever you are…”

Your eyebrows raised, scooting closer to him in mock confusion. “Sorry? Didn’t hear you.” 

A pillow hit your head, and you burst out into peals of laughter. It was hilarious, the cheesy answer little Hyunjin gave, but what amused you even more was his face turning red. 

Touches of laughter echoed in the room, and Hyunjin found himself praying the moment would last forever. The conversation quickly escalated into a pillow fight, ending up in Hyunjin leaning against his headboard, exhausted, and you laying on his lap. 

You looked up at him, eyes fleeting to the stubble growing. Mindlessly, you grazed his cheek, feeling his sideburns prickling against your thumb. 

He was growing, you realized it then. You were growing too. Neither of you were little kids anymore.

A fact you didn't want to accept.

It’s the softness of your fingers that froze Hyunjin in his tracks. He held his breath, as if you would stop if he moved. He didn’t want you to, wanted to let your fingers linger, to etch the sensation into his memories. 

In a soft tone, you spoke, “Did you really mean it?”

“Hm?”

“Would you be wherever I am?”

Hyunjin’s breath hitched, a lump growing in his throat. If he spoke, he feared his feelings would become too real. For as long as he could, he wanted to bury his feelings deep down. Life was already risky as it is, he didn’t want to take any more.

It’s platonic. It’s platonic. It’s platonic.

They repeated in his brain like a mantra. Maybe if he chanted it, it’ll manifest to life.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin swallowed, “of course I will. You’re my best friend.” 

Like magic, your worries about the future disappeared into thin air. Would it be foolish to trust Hyunjin so much, that you believed life would be fine as long as he was with you? 

Dear universe, be good to me.

You smiled, one that Hyunjin swore could light up the entire sky. The stars must envy you, for the way you could brighten up darkness effortlessly. 

“I’ll be wherever you are too.”

Yeah, Hyunjin would love it if time froze.

three.  

Don’t be a coward. 

Four words Hyunjin told his reflection as he got ready. He was dressed in a basic tee and a pair of jeans, hair slicked back like the one time you told him it looked good. He spritzed his cologne behind his ears, on his neck, and on his wrist before repeating the four words again. This time, he whispered it, letting it soak into his brain, in hopes his heart would have courage. 

It’s been too long. The feelings he harboured for you piled overtime, the crush he once thought was temporary transforming into fondness. It was becoming too much for Hyunjin’s heart to bear, he needed to let it out. If he didn’t, he felt like his heart could burst. And if it did, it would be confetti-shaped memories of you. 

Chatters echoed outside your ballet academy, Hyunjin watched through the lowered window for your face among the sea of people. He had a plan in mind — he’d open the door for you, put the seatbelt on for you, and tell you about his feelings. In front of your academy wasn’t the most ideal place for a confession, he knew, but God — he couldn’t bear sitting in silence with you as a storm raged in his head. He couldn’t do it. He wanted to say it as soon as he could. 

Hyunjin’s eyes were still busy looking for you when suddenly, your face came in his peripheral vision, along with another face. The other person was lean, jet black hair with bangs and puppy-like eyes. The boy opened the door for you before Hyunjin could. 

Okay, step number one failed. 

“Hey, Hyunnie!” your voice chirped, getting into the car. Your hand moved to buckle your seatbelt before Hyunjin could. He was too busy analysing the stranger in front of the door.

“Hey,” Hyunjin replied nonchalantly, looking at the boy from head to toe. “And this is…?”

“Seungmin. And you?” the boy said, tilting his head. To Hyunjin, he was being challenged. Seungmin’s tone was more daring than he liked, so he felt an urge to one-up the guy.

“Hyunjin. Been friends with Yn since were in diapers.” he replied, the extra detail a pathetic attempt at one-upping Seungmin. 

Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows, nodding as he shut your door, “Uh. Cool? Bye, Yn. And the friend since diapers.” 

Oh, Hyunjin really didn’t like him. 

“Wait, Seungminnie!” you called out just as Seungmin was walking away. He looked back at the car, raising an eyebrow. You turned to Hyunjin with puppy eyes. “Can you give Seungminnie a ride? He takes the bus and I think the next one’s in an hour.”

Hyunjin clenched his jaw, eyes fluttering from your pleading eyes to Seungmin’s figure outside the car. If it was all up to him, he would probably run the guy over. But God knew how much he cherished you, how he would rather cut his tongue than tell you “no,” so he agreed.

“Mm. Sure,” he replied, swallowing back a scoff. 

Your eyes brightened, “Seungminnie! Come, we’ll give you a ride!” you yelled, tempting Hyunjin to mock the nickname you’d given him.

It was going to be a car ride straight out of hell. 

Hyunjin’s knuckles were white against the steering as he pulled up to Seungmin’s residence complex. The building standing in front of him definitely belonged in a gated community, ritzy and luxurious. Somehow, that pissed Hyunjin off even more. He glanced at the unwanted guest sitting in the back seat through the rear-view mirror.

“Want me to drive you to the lobby, or what?”

Seungmin looked back into the mirror, peering at the reflection through his bangs. “Nah. They don’t let random cars in. Here’s just fine,” he mumbled, unbuckling the seatbelt. “Thanks, dude. Appreciate it.” 

The car door closed behind Seungmin, leaving the two of you in the car. Hyunjin sighed, feeling the nerves creeping up him again. Now that it was only the two of you, it was time for Hyunjin to confess his feelings.

Before he could, you spoke, “Seungmin’s my friend in the academy. He’s really smart,” your eyes didn’t leave the crossroad before you, watching as Seungmin walked. 

Hyunjin had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He tapped on your thigh, trying to gain your attention. It worked as you looked at him, batting your eyelashes. “Hm?”

He licked his lower lip, mustering all the courage in him. It was now, or never. “Look, I have something to tell you.” 

“Yeah?”

You shuffled in your seat, tilting your body slightly towards his way. Now that you had your full attention on him, Hyunjin felt even more nervous. He scratched the skin around his thumb, tongue-tied as his brain tried to form coherent words. He’s never done this before, always made fun of his friends for struggling to express their feelings but now that he was in the same place, he wished he could take back all the insults. The brown eyes looking deeply (and anxiously) into yours were profusely blinking, as though he was at the brink of tears. You grew worried.

“Hyunjin, what’s up?”

He scratched at the back of his neck. Why did his tongue feel so numb? Why did his brain feel empty yet so full at the same time? His heartbeats were so fast, he couldn’t quite catch up. Hyunjin was on a rollercoaster — you were waiting at the end of the ride.

Finally, he managed to muster words. “Look, I’ve pondered over —”

Two knocks on the window at the back. They’re followed by the door opening, an exasperated Seungmin popping his head into the car. Immediately, you both looked back, utterly bewildered. 

“Sorry. I left my bag. Thank God you’re still here,” Seungmin said, grabbing his messenger bag and slipping it onto his shoulder. “Thanks and sorry!”

The door closed, thus silence blanketed the atmosphere once again. This time, with unresolved tension. You looked back at Hyunjin, tilting your head in curiosity.

“You were saying?” 

Dazed, the raven looked at you. His face was a mixture of exasperation and confusion. His head? There was a storm raging, along with curse words aimed at Seungmin. 

“Um…” He licked his lower lip, racking his brain to find back the words he wanted to say. They were all lost. He was already at the end of the rollercoaster, the bumps along the way forgotten, and the thrill subsided. All that’s left was the remnants of anxiety. He couldn’t do it anymore, not when he’s forgotten the things he wanted to say, and the moment disturbed by your dear friend Seungmin.

So, he put the gear on to drive. He shook his head and made up a white lie.

“I think I want to try a new ice cream place today.”

four.  

The taste of cookies and cream could not beat the bitterness on Hyunjin’s tongue. 

It may be because the bitterness has seeped into his head. 

“I’m going to your room,” you announced, swinging the front door of his house open. “Hi, Mrs Hwang!” you cheered, running up the stairs after. 

“I’m going to talk to my mom a little bit,” Hyunjin said, hanging both your coats on the coat hanger. 

Nothing could’ve prepared Hyunjin for what was to happen next. 

Both his parents were crowding the kitchen countertop when he walked in, skimming through a piece of paper. They were beaming, eyes crinkled as they smiled. A reminder that Hyunjin resembled both his parents. He blinked in confusion as to why his parents looked so happy. He didn’t think he'd seen them this happy before.

“What’s going on?” he questioned, peering over their figures to look at the paper. 

On the paper were words he’d only seen in his dreams. Never in a million years he would’ve thought it’d manifest to life. His heart skipped a beat as he read the words over, and over. 

“You made it, sweetheart,” his mother’s soft voice spoke, confirming his suspicion. “You got accepted. Beaux-Arts de Paris.”

“Eomma,” he mumbled, as if he was pleading. Pleading for this dream to stop. Somebody’s got to wake him up from this nightmare of a day. “There’s no way.” 

Hyunjin picked up the letter, inspecting it closer. As though if he looked any closer, the words on the pristine white paper would change. Reject him. Or maybe, the logo of the prestigious school would magically transform into a logo of a school in Seoul. Anything, anything, that would keep him here. In Seoul. With you. 

“You did it, sweetheart. Your dreams are coming true,” his mother keenly said, pulling him into a side hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

His dream? It was his dream, and, yours. No, scratch that — it wasn’t truly his dream. It was yours. His dream had always been to be wherever you are. 

He didn’t think he would be accepted. When you told him you were rejected from the Paris Ballet School, he told you that he was rejected, too. He didn’t tell you that he was waitlisted, under the impression that he was never getting out of the waitlist. What was he to tell you now? 

Hyunjin hid his sadness, wanting to make his parents proud, “Yeah. I did it. I’m so happy, eomma, appa.” 

A series of praises left his parents, and he allowed for them to engulf him in a hug. 

“Don’t tell Yn, ‘kay?” he muttered, before excusing himself to go upstairs. The acceptance letter was neatly folded, tucked into his pocket.  

When he swung his bedroom door open, you were standing in front of his full-length mirror. Clad in only his t-shirt, you inspected yourself. 

“Hey, Hwang Hyunjin,” you muttered, turning your body. “Your clothes are bigger than me now. You used to be so small.”

You looked at him, mock dismay in your face. “I was so much taller than you before. You were a dwarf.” 

How was he meant to tell you about Paris?

“I was never a dwarf. You were just too busy looking down on me.”

Giggles left both of you. Silently, he observed the way you were examining yourself. You had the mannerisms of a ballerina, each gesture as gracious as your dance. Hyunjin adored the curves of your body, but God knew he loved that of your smile even more. 

Later, you were both laying on his bed, you in a starfish position. Hyunjin was at the edge of his bed, trying his best to not fall. 

“Ballet was so hard today,” you sighed. You turned your body sideways, burying your face into Hyunjin’s chest. He could smell you in this closeness.

“Are you wearing my deodorant?” he queried, bowing to clasp his nose onto your shoulder. It felt like a kiss to him. “This is literally the smell of my deodorant.” 

You shrugged. “Yeah? What about it? You should’ve gotten used to me taking your things by now, Hwang Hyunjin. I’ve been doing this our whole lives.” 

Touché. The boy sighed, letting you fill in the silence with your babbles. Wordlessly, he listened to your words, letting it be the white noise to his thoughts. 

His head was clearly not there. Unbeknownst to him, you knew of this. He’d been off all day. You’ve picked up on each signal, knowing him like the back of your hand. As much as you wanted to know what was wrong, you knew not to pry. You resorted to comfort instead. 

Your fingertips met at the back of his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He was never one for physical touch but sometimes, it helped. You leaned your head into his neck. 

Gingerly, you whispered the words you thought he would need. 

“You’re always here, around me. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

The exact words he did not need to hear that day.

How was he meant to tell you of his feelings now? 

Especially when he was leaving — oceans away. 

five.  

Hyunjin had always loved soccer.

Whether it be being in the bleachers, or playing in the field. He loved doing both. There was something about the thrill of watching people play, and the adrenaline as he chased around the field. 

Sitting in the bleachers, Hyunjin watched as his soccer team played. The sounds of his teammates laughing made the blazing sun a little more bearable. He lowered his cap to prevent the sunlight from getting in his eyes, chuckling when he saw Beomgyu falling face-first onto the grass.

He loved his soccer team. Every time he observed them play, Hyunjin’s heart always got overwhelmed with pride and joy. At that moment, he felt melancholy taking space too — the thought of not being able to play with them anymore hurting him more than he thought it would. 

Hyunjin allowed for the melancholy to take space, allowed himself to feel — so much so that he didn’t feel Minho’s presence. Not until the older cleared his throat. 

Minho sat beside him, “Why the long face, Hwang Hyunjin?” 

“Huh?” startled, he looked up, face softening when he saw Minho. “Oh. Nothing. You’re not playing?”

“Nah,” Minho replied curtly. He silently analyzed the younger’s facial expressions before speaking up again. “For someone who’s going to Paris in two weeks, you sure don’t look too happy.”

Of course, Minho out of all people would notice the change in his mannerisms. Always the analyzing one, quick to notice changes in demeanour. There was no point in lying, not with Minho — so he let out the sigh he didn’t realize he was holding. 

“It’s bittersweet, you know?” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.

“It’s Yn, isn’t it?” 

“Huh?”

“You don’t want to part ways with her. It’s what’s holding you back.” 

Right on. It was as though Minho was a mind-reader. A heavy weight pulled on Hyunjin’s heartstrings, made his heart even heavier than a few minutes prior.

“Yeah,” he didn’t lie, again. He looked at Minho, and the older could clearly see the uneasiness written all over his face. “If you were me… would you tell her about your feelings?”

“The fact that you like her?”

“Yeah.”

Minho fell silent. He pondered over the question, looking at the sight before him. The sun was setting, orange hues painting the sky. Hyunjin wondered if Paris sunsets would look the same.

“I think…” Minho turned towards the younger. He shook his head. “I wouldn’t tell her.” 

“Why?”

“Won’t benefit you, I don’t think.” Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. “Listen. If you were to tell her, and she accepted, do you think you could get into a relationship with her?”

“I mean —”

Minho cut him, “Realistically, do you think the relationship would succeed? I mean, the time zone between Seoul and Paris is pretty big. The distance, too. I don’t think it would work out. And that’ll be bad, you know? You’ll both be left wondering what could have been.”

The truth hurt. The distance, the time — none of them were on Hyunjin’s side. 

“And, if, God forbid, if she were to reject you… do you really want your last memory with her to be the hurt you’ll feel?”

Hyunjin shook his head. The other sighed, and patted him on the back. 

“There are things better left unsaid. You should take her out. Spend your last time with her nicely.”

Despite Hyunjin’s stubbornness, he took Minho’s advice. It took him a lot of contemplating (and crying), but he followed it anyway. Whether he liked it or not, Minho’s advice had a lot of truth in it. 

Bitter truths, but true regardless.

six.

“Where are we going?” you whined, trailing behind your dear friend. The sun was setting in two hours, orange hues were beginning to paint the sky. “Hyunnie, if you don’t tell me where we’re —”

“Please, stay patient. Will you?”

Hyunjin looked behind. He was wearing a blue knitted vest. In one hand, he held a picnic basket. The other, is your handbag. You never have to carry your own with him.

“But we’re literally in the middle of nowhere!” 

“Please just trust me,” he pleaded. One hand was stretched towards you, a silent offer to hold his. “Come. If you’re too tired, I’ll give you a piggyback ride.”

Ever the opportunist, you took up on the offer. Alas, Hyunjin was left walking the remaining distance, you happily singing road trip songs while clinging onto his back. To butter him up, you told him that he must’ve been a blessing sent to you by God. Although he groaned at the remark, you couldn’t see the small smile on his face.

After a few minutes, you understood why Hyunjin was adamant about going out that day. Before you, green plains stretched as far as your eyes could see. Scattered across viridian shades were wildflowers. Some yellow, some pink. 

Hyunjin had brought you to a flower field.

The picnic basket, and the Polaroid camera finally made sense. 

Without any more words, you jumped off his back and ran into the field. The yellow sundress you wore matched that of the wildflowers. In Hyunjin’s eyes, you blended right in. 

You were as pretty as the flowers. 

“Careful, Yn! Don’t fall!” He called out, his voice echoing in the space. He watched you from afar. There was an urge to run among the flowers too, but he was much more content with watching you. 

From a distance, in silence, he observed your every move. He couldn’t help the giggles that left his lips. The smile that lingered on his lips. He wanted this memory to last, to be ingrained in his brain forever. Soon, he wouldn’t be able to witness your happiness. 

“Hyunnie, you need to come here! It’s so nice!”

Chuckling, he carefully placed the picnic basket on the ground. Hyunjin was done with setting up the picnic spot. He ran towards you, lifted you off the ground and twirled you around. You broke out into giggles and held onto his arms. 

Among the flowers, two silhouettes danced with each other. Swaying to the same melody as the peonies. Despite being a ballerina, you kept stumbling onto Hyunjin’s feet, giggling each time he elicited an “ow.” 

Like a scene from a movie.

Like he wasn’t going away soon.

Before the sun could set, Hyunjin convinced you to sit on the picnic blanket. He wished to dance with you longer, but alas, time awaits for no mortal. 

“How do you want me to pose?” you asked. You were facing him, legs tucked sideways.

Hyunjin scooted closer to you, and wiped breadcrumbs off your lips. He commented on you eating messily. “You can pose however you want.”

You nodded, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Okay. Make sure you get my good angles, yeah?”

“You look good from any angle.” 

Crimson crept up your face. You hadn’t expected that remark. You hoped he wouldn’t see you blush, you would just tell him it’s the sun then. 

“Okay…”

Two clicks, then a flash went off. Your eyes widened, caught off-guard.

“You didn’t even count to three!” 

Your whines were responded to with a giggle. The camera whirled, apprising you of a Polaroid developing. Hyunjin took it, fanning the Polaroid with a grin. He was excited to see it.

“I wasn’t ready!”

“Candid photos are better,” he sighed. “Don’t you know? Everything’s prettier when it’s genuine.”

“So you’re calling me pretty?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Have I ever said you’re ugly?”

Right. He has never. 

You prayed to God the heat on your face was from the sun and not from blushing.

Once the Polaroid fully developed, Hyunjin made sure he was the first to see it. To your dismay, he held it close to his face, shielding it from you. His cheeks dimpled, illustrating his happiness. You looked so pretty, the sunlight on your face giving you an angelic glow. If he looked closer, he was sure he’d see a halo. 

Hyunjin wanted to keep this forever. 

If he couldn’t freeze the time, he figured he’d trap the memories in photographs.

“Let me see!” you whined. “It’s a picture of me! I have the right to see it.”

Scampering towards him, you waved your hands, trying to get the photograph off his hand. To no avail, Hyunjin had quick reflexes much thanks to his soccer experience. 

“No! You can’t — it’s for my eyes only!”

“Ridiculous! That’s my face, Hyunnie!”

“It’s my camera film. So it’s mine!”

Neither one of you would let up, legs entangling against each other as you fought over the photograph. He was determined to not let you even see the picture. One of your palms pressed against the picnic blanket, the other reaching up towards his hand. Hyunjin used his free hand to push you gently but alas, he underestimated his own strength. In one swift move, you lost your balance, toppling over him. 

“Ow,” he fell back and winced in pain. He looked up, and all the back pain was suddenly replaced by shyness. There you were, on his lap — face just as flushed as his. 

Hyunjin didn’t know what to do now. 

Pathetically, he just stared into your eyes, finding himself getting caught in them. He could feel your hitched breaths against his chest, he was very aware of your trembling fingers on his arms. There was a strong urge to kiss you as his eyes fell onto your lips. He wondered how they’d feel on his lips. He imagined it in his head — missing the way your eyes stared at his lips too. 

If you were a flower, Hyunjin would be a bee. He desired you, eyes tracing the shape of your lips. Over, and over. If he kissed you, would your lips taste like honey? 

He ought to find out. Hesitantly, he inched his head closer to yours. The warmth of your breath against his skin marked the closeness between you.

Numerous scenarios flashed in Hyunjin’s mind. Of him kissing you senseless, then whispering a love confession in your ear. Of your cold fingers pressing into his skin as he tells you each perk of yours that he loved endlessly. The more he imagined, the closer he was. You shut your eyes, waiting for his lips to finally press onto yours. 

Paris. The one-way plane ticket to Paris.

Against his heart’s desire, his fingers cupped your chin instead. Subtly, he pulled back, eyes trailing back up to your eyes. He ignored the look of confusion in your eyes.

Reaching down, he pocketed the photograph. His heart clenched as he spoke, but he did anyway. 

“I win.”

The two words pulled you from your trance — they tore off your heart like paper. You blinked, watching the playful smirk that graced Hyunjin’s porcelain face. 

“Oh.”

The whole journey home, bitterness sat on Hyunjin’s tongue like the aftertaste of tangerine pulp. Did you want the kiss too, or had his libido fabricated things? 

Nevertheless, he couldn’t kiss you. Not when he had suitcases packed for Beaux-Art de Paris. Not when it’s all his parents could talk about. 

Minho’s words played in Hyunjin’s mind like a broken record. They served as a reminder of what could not be. For the sake of his heart, he told himself that it had all been a figment of his imagination.

Tension cloaked the front door of your house. Neither of you made a noise, save for the jingling keys in your carabiner. You observed Hyunjin, who was busy looking at his shoes. Once again, his mind wasn’t in his head. It had been that way for a few weeks. 

“See you soon?” you mumbled. 

Hyunjin looked up, nodding at your words. He pulled you into a hug, one that almost crushed your bones. Shakingly, he nuzzled his head into your neck, burying his face into the skin like you would dissolve if he didn't. It must’ve hurt his back but you made no comment, instead you wrapped your arms around his neck, in hopes it'll give him solace. By the front door you held him, so tight that it was as though the two of you were one, the curves of his fingers burning through your skin.

You didn’t know that it was a goodbye. It had to stay that way. 

Once more, his heart clenched in his chest. Two hands cupped your cheeks, as gentle as he could be, like you would break. He engraved this version of you into his memory — kind eyes boring into his with a soft smile plastered across the face he'd grown to adore. He vowed to always remember this face. 

Deeply, he inhaled his breath. Preparing the next words — lies to say to you, no matter how tight his chest felt.

“Yeah, see you soon.”

The last words Hwang Hyunjin muttered to you. 

seven.  

One day before your birthday. 

It had been two days since Hyunjin brought you to the meadow. You hadn’t seen him much, just glimpses of him as he played around with Kkami in his backyard. You figured that he was busy.

“Hello, I’m home!” you said in a sing-song voice as you stepped into the Hwang household. Kkami who’d usually greet you wasn’t in his usual spot, so you trudged straight to the kitchen, where Hyunjin’s mother was sitting. “Hi, Mrs Hwang.” 

She looked up, lips twitching into a smile, a cookie-cutter of Hyunjin’s. Under the kitchen light, you don’t miss the dried tears by her eyes. You pursed your lips, wondering if she was watching a sad drama. Hyunjin inherited his trait of easily crying from his mother, after all. 

“Hi, sweet girl,” she looked at your outfit from head to toe. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“Oh,” you muttered, giving her a little twirl. “My birthday outfit! Is it pretty?”

“Of course.”

You smiled at her, fiddling with the hem of your blouse. Keenly, you looked around the kitchen for any traces of Hyunjin. You realized that the house seemed much quieter than usual, emptier than normal. 

“Where’s Hyunjin?” you asked. The reason why you’d come over was to show your best friend your birthday outfit. Now that you were there, he was nowhere to be seen. “Is he home?”

Sympathy materialized in the mother’s old eyes. She tilted her head at you, lips pursing as she thought of the correct words to say. 

“My girl, did he not tell you?”

Confusion would be an understatement. Hyunjin told you everything, everything — from pointless thoughts to his deepest, darkest secrets. You were his secret keeper, his companion — there was nothing he wouldn’t tell you.

Was there? 

It had to be something unimportant, right? Perhaps he was off to an art workshop and forgot to tell you. But looking at his mother, it felt like something big. You grew anxious under her sympathetic gaze. 

“Tell me what?” you questioned, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“We just came back from Incheon Airport. He’s on a plane to Paris,” the lady replied. She stood up, inching closer towards your trembling figure. “Did he not tell you, Yn? I thought he did.”

“Paris?” you asked, blinking. “Like. For a vacation?”

“No, sweetheart. Beaux-Arts de Paris. He got into the school.”

The words felt like bullets on skin, penetrating and chagrining you deeply. It felt unreal — a hoax.

You scoffed, “What? He wouldn’t go without telling me.” Your eyes searched for humour in his mother’s eyes. “Is this like, a birthday prank?”

Her eyes saddened even more. “No, sweetheart. He really went.”

Another betrayal came in the form of tears cascading down your eyes without warning. The emotions hit you faster than your brain could process things. Speechless, you took steps back from his mother, before running up the staircase to his room. 

He had to be there. Sitting in his swivel chair and laughing at your face. He’ll tell you it was a prank and wipe away your tears. 

Hyunjin was your best friend of a lifetime. He wouldn’t do this to you. He had to be there.

When the door to his room swung open, a sob was knocked out of your mouth. 

All traces of life in the bedroom were gone, save for the soft purrs of Kkami sleeping on the bed. The bed was stripped of its bedsheets, and the towels hanging behind the door were gone. The laundry bag was empty. 

All traces of Hyunjin were gone. 

The realization hit harder than his mother’s words. If the words hurt like bullets on skin, the sight of Hyunjin’s lifeless room felt like a knife twisted in your gut. It felt like sanguine dripping from wounds, and Hyunjin’s holding the knife. It felt like a betrayal. 

“Hyunjin,” his name slipped from your lips like a plea. “Hyunjin.” 

More choked sobs escaped your windpipes as you searched around the room. First, it was his wardrobe. The oak material was practically empty, all that remained were a couple of sleep tees and the shirts you’ve left over the years. You rummaged through the hangers, finding that he had brought one of your sweatshirts along. 

The confirmation of his departure was the emptiness of his study table. Each nook and cranny of his table used to feel like Hyunjin, from the stacks of sketchbooks to eraser dust. Everything was Hyunjin — but at that moment, there was nothing. There was only a void — that of his desk and your heart. 

Your best friend was truly gone. 

“Hyunjin,” the name wrestled its way past your lips again. This time, it was out of longing. “Hyunjin.” 

The manner in which you walked to his bed echoed your feelings. Quivering, like a toddler’s first time walking. Your body fell onto the bed, earning a soft whine from Kkami. Gently, you held Kkami in your arms, letting a stream of tears cascade down your cheeks. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to cry, to feel, to mourn. 

If someone were to tell you that Hyunjin out of all people would make you cry that much, you would’ve laughed. Never in a million years, you’d say. The only times he had made you cry were from laughter. 

“Kkami,” you cried. The chihuahua nuzzled its head into your arms, as though it could feel your sorrow. Perhaps it could. “I miss Hyunjin.”

The dog whined. It looked up to you, placing its paw onto your arm. You cried even more. 

“I wanted to tell him about how I feel today,” through sobs, you managed to speak. “How could he make me feel so many things in one day and disappear the other? He didn't even say goodbye.”

It felt like the chihuahua was mourning with you — the way it nudged its head onto your arm, letting out soft whimpers. As though it was telling you that things will be okay. 

You weren’t sure that it would. You spent your whole life with Hyunjin by your side, you had never known life without him. Now that he was ripped from your grasp, you didn’t know how to go on. No — he voluntarily released himself from your grasp, without warning. It was worse. 

Physical traces of Hyunjin in his room were gone. There was only his scent — the smell of his shampoo, and his cologne. It lingered in the room, mocking you.

In your melancholic state of mind, you could only weep.

eight. 

“Coffee, or tea?”

A female voice broke Hyunjin from his trance. He looked up at the stewardess standing by his seat, the sweatshirt doused in your scent crumpling in his tight grip. 

“I want to get off this plane,” sat on his tongue and dissolved. He took a deep breath. 

“Um,” he looked at the cart, “Plain water, please?”

Coffee would only force Hyunjin to stay awake, forcing him to listen to his own brain’s torments for 14 hours straight. Tea reminded him too much of you, of the times when you were little and would make him play tea party with you. He’ll think about the times you’d cheekily kiss his cheek, an attempt to woo him into playing with you. It worked each time. 

The stewardess nodded, handing him a water bottle branded with the aeroplane’s logo. He muttered a thank you, yet the stewardess still didn’t walk away. She looked nice, her eyes analyzing Hyunjin told him that he must’ve looked like the epitome of a wreck.  

“First time flying?” she questioned. It wasn’t his first time, having gone on many vacations before yet he nodded. “I see. It’ll be fine, just sit back and relax.”

The woman, whose name tag said Chaewon flashed Hyunjin a hospitality smile — one he didn’t think he deserved — then walked away. Hyunjin pursed his lips, wishing that she hadn’t walked away. He didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts, he didn’t want to be awake, he didn’t want to be in this plane — there were a lot of things he didn’t want to do, but had to do. 

Hyunjin wanted to turn back.

Silently, he looked out the window, watching as the landscapes of Seoul grew smaller, slowly becoming covered with clouds. He desperately wished to get out, praying to God that the plane would miraculously turn back and the tableau of Seoul would become bigger. Had he told the stewardess named Chaewon he wanted to get off, would they have let him? Had he told his parents he didn’t want to go to Paris, would they have understood?

If he tells you he’s sorry, would you forgive him? 

Regrets and memories clouded his mind, tears making their way down his cheeks. Each thought strangled his heart, and he could feel it physically aching. In a melancholic state of mind he sat, clinging onto your sweatshirt like it was his lifeline, allowing slumber to slowly take over. 

The break from his own thoughts did not last long enough.

Seven hours later, Hyunjin woke up to dried tears on his cheeks. He straightened his posture and glanced at the window, feeling a wave of emotions at the change of landscapes. Hyunjin wasn’t sure in which city they were flying over, but he could say with certainty that it did not look like Seoul. It did not feel like home, it did not feel like you. 

Unable to fall back to sleep, he couldn’t help the thoughts that poisoned his mind. Looking over the landscapes, he came to a realization much too painful for his heart to bear. 

You and him — you were the Sun, and he was the Moon. Two people of different circumstances, who’ll never meet, ripped away from the merciless hands of time. For your timezones were different — horizons even more. 

As a wave of new tears descended, Hyunjin wondered if he would ever forget about you.

The answer came to him one afternoon three years later, as he laid on the couch in his Parisian apartment. 

No, he’d never forget about you. At least not in three years. Maybe not even in five. 

Sunlight seeped in through the balcony, providing Hyunjin the warmth he wasn’t able to receive from a person. His roommate was a French guy who was always out and about, leaving Hyunjin to soak in his own company for hours on end. Sometimes, for days. Hyunjin loved and hated it at the same time. 

His limbs stretched across the burgundy couch, a yawn eliciting past his lips. Brown eyes stared at the canvas in front of him, black and white hues scattered on white, forming a half-finished painting of you. 

Years later, and you remained at the back of his mind — his muse.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

nine.  

There are five stages of grief. 

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance. Denial was the hardest for you, having spent your entire birthday staring at the front door of your house, praying Hyunjin would walk in. When your friends sang you a Happy Birthday, it sounded like a morose ballad playing from a broken record. Without Hyunjin, gloom sat at the centre of even the happiest things. 

Then came a sixth stage — one that seemed to exist for you.

Motivation.

After coming to acceptance that your best friend had gone, without any farewell, you spent many hours a day in the ballet studio. Pirouette, arabesque, plié — you managed to polish each move with the amount of time you spent cooped up in the studio. You weren’t born with ballet feet, but the times spent in pointe shoes had somehow moulded you into having them. 

Perhaps, it was distraction, disguised as motivation.

Nevertheless, the tireless hours of practice granted you a position in the Paris Ballet School.

Paris felt bittersweet when you first landed. It was the city of your dreams, but the reminiscence of the person it took from you made you loathe it. 

Withal, life had to go on. To cope with the Parisian lifestyle, you managed to get a job at a cafe near your academy — Desir Cafe. You worked night shifts as a kitchen crew but if traffic was overwhelming in the afternoons, your shitty excuse of a boss would make you come in anyway.

Unfortunately for you, it was one of those days. Clinks and sizzles reverberated in the kitchen, the peg board overwhelmed with sticky notes of orders. You were everywhere in the kitchen, from piping icing on cupcakes to sprinkling chocolate rice on pastries. 

“Yn,” the main baker yelled, “Tell Double C’s we can’t stock up on macarons! We’re out of almond flour!” 

The Double C’s — Charlotte, and Colette. They were a duo who worked as waitresses, always gossiping. Birds of the same feather, attached by the hip. 

Exasperated, you headed to the front, swinging the kitchen door open to see the duo gossiping. Charlotte was leaning in towards Colette, whispering into her ear, earning giggles from the other. You sighed, wondering what the topic was that afternoon. Curious as to who they were gossiping about, you looked towards the direction they were looking. 

Seated alone at the corner of the cafe was a guy, blonde hair gleaming golden from the sunlight seeping through the big window. His utmost focus was on the sketchbook in front of him, frail fingers dancing across paper, entrancing any eyes which fell upon him. You couldn’t help but stare, your face gradually contorting into disbelief.

He resembled too much like Hyunjin — your Hyunjin. 

Your gaze lingered on the man, analyzing each crease of his face, matching it with the one you had in mind. He looked just like Hyunjin, from the shape of his nose to the mole under his eye. The only difference was the hair. Hyunjin’s hair was raven black, but the person in the cafe had golden blonde hair. You felt your throat tighten. If the man sitting at the corner was him, then time had done good on him. He was beautiful, face sculptured beautifully by time’s gentle hands.

“Ooh, look who’s ogling!” a high-pitched voice interrupted you. You looked up to see the Double C’s looking at you, wiggling their eyebrows mischievously. Charlotte smirked, “Think the guy’s cute?”

“Huh? What guy?” you lied, feeling your cheeks heat up. 

Colette rolled her eyes. “The dude over there! Don’t lie, you think he’s cute.” The brunette wiggled her eyebrows even more, subtly pointing at the man. 

You didn’t say anything else, but your eyes travelled back to the familiar silhouette. The sense of familiarity tugged on fragile heartstrings the more you looked at him. Colette could sense your curiosity, so she parted her lips to speak.

“That’s Hyunjin. He’s a student in Beaux-Arts de Paris,” she muttered, unbeknownst to her the mixed emotions that dawned upon you. “He comes here almost every afternoon. Maybe that’s why you’ve never seen him before. He’s cute, isn’t he?”

Excitedly, Charlotte nodded her head. “A total heart-throb, honestly.”

“I mean…” your voice trailed, “He’s quite alright.”

How were you supposed to react to finally seeing the one who got away? Were you supposed to feel excited, or upset? It was like the moon had suddenly dropped down onto your lap. 

You were confused.

Charlotte continued speaking, not realizing the mixture of emotions in your face. “Sometimes, the students have exhibitions about ten minutes from here. His artworks always make it to the exhibitions. I’ve seen them, and they’re really beautiful.”

You turned towards her, “Exhibitions?”

She nodded, still naive as to your shift in behaviour. “I think the school has an exhibition every three months or so.”

Unfaltering, your eyes bored holes in Hyunjin’s back. He was in his own little world, evidently absorbed in whatever piece he was working on. Just like that, the memories you spent years suppressing came rushing back. 

It was unfair, the impact he had on you. There he was, lounging in a corner while your heart grappled in your chest. He looked older, better — and you were still the little girl in the tree house. Swaying your feet as they dangled, as though you had all the time in the world.

Charlotte and Colette exchanged looks as you stared at him. To them, you were simply developing a crush on a stranger. They wouldn’t understand the conflict brewing in you, they wouldn’t be able to comprehend the ache that stirred in the depths of your heart.

“What? You’re interested in him?” Charlotte spoke, breaking you off your trance. You looked at her, blinking. “Don’t even try. I’ve tried. I think he’s gay.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“He’s not gay — oh my god, Lottie!” it was Colette’s turn to speak. Playfully, she smacked the other’s arm. “I asked that guy he’s always with, the songwriter — Felix. Cute guy, that one. Felix told me that he’s got a secret lover or something.”

“Secret lover?”

“Yeah. Apparently, he likes to draw this one girl. His sketchbook’s filled with her,” Colette murmured, glancing at Hyunjin. “Felix asked her who she was, and he said it’s a girl of his dreams.”

Your heart dropped. You weren’t sure to which news you should react first, either Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin, or that he has a secret lover. Either way, it made you pathetically jealous. Your heartstrings thrummed in anger as you imagined a beautiful French girl spread out on his bed, and Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin.

How could he go on with his life when you spent years mourning him?

Crimson tainted your lip as you bit on it hard, the taste of metal at the tip of your tongue. 

Perhaps, you never made it past the anger stage of your grief.

ten.

You truly tried to be happy for Hyunjin.

For days, weeks — you spent convincing yourself that you had to be happy for him. Sure, he hurt you three years ago. Sure, you spent years in agony, regretting not telling him how you felt earlier, wondering what could’ve been. Sure, you hoped that you’d see him in Paris and he’d tell you that he’s in love with you and kiss you senseless — but those were just desperate prayers, weren’t they? Those were simply hopeful scenarios. You hadn’t expected them to come true, had you?

Hyunjin was your best friend of years. He deserved happiness, even when you didn’t feel happy. You had to let things go. You had to be happy for him.

Clearly, you failed at convincing yourself.

In front of a building you stood, the sound of people walking past becoming white noise. You stared at the banner standing in front of you, the words Autumn Exhibition displayed, with the logo of Beaux-Arts de Paris at the top. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat.

A week ago, Charlotte told you that the university would be holding another exhibition, and Hyunjin’s artworks most likely made it into the exhibition. You knew then, that you had to go. If you didn’t get to see him, then you at least wanted to see his pieces. To not be a part of his life was devastating, you wished to at least witness glimpses of it. 

9:45 p.m. was displayed on your screen, people were beginning to leave the exhibition. There weren’t many people around, which was what you were hoping for. Visiting the exhibition in daylight meant potentially bumping into Hyunjin, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

One day you ought to meet him, but not today. Not when the fragments of your heart have yet to be mended.

After taking a deep breath, you willed yourself to step into the exhibition. A gust of wind hit your face, and you shivered, clutching your coat tight. The art display seemed to be painting-themed, the way frames of canvases were scattered around the building. Baroque paintings were displayed all over, each piece as beautiful as skies at dusk.

The tapping of your heels against the ceramic tiles sounded as you walked, the romantic lighting of the room providing you with a sense of comfort. Wildly, your eyes observed each piece, letting your heart be swayed by the beauty. 

They were all beautiful — but they didn’t feel like Hyunjin. 

Until your eyes trailed to a certain piece.

It was the centrepiece, the piece — little bulbs of lights were installed above the frame, making the piece feel alive. The moment your gaze fell on the artwork, you couldn’t help but feel drawn in, taking hurried steps towards it. You stared, unable to take your eyes off the hues on the canvas.

There weren’t many hues, just black and white. It depicted two figures on swings. You couldn’t see the figures clearly but you could tell they looked happy. You could see through the strokes of paint that they were happy — though the artist not so. There was a certain sadness in the painting, one that screamed nostalgia. 

The longer you looked at the piece, the more you realized. 

It was a fragment of your memory. 

Your breath hitched. In came a memory of you and Hyunjin — running around the park before playing on swings. It was a particularly memorable day, you could recall falling off the swing and Hyunjin kneeling in front of you, kissing the bruises on your knees with the tenderness of a feather. It was the first time you felt so protected, and so loved. 

A rush of emotions overcame you, you wondered if that was how Hyunjin felt when he painted it. Had he thought of you, and wept by his easel? Had he stained his cheeks with charcoal as he wiped stray tears off his face? 

You wondered, so much so that you failed to realize a silhouette entering the display. 

Hyunjin didn’t enjoy art exhibitions in daylight. They felt pompous. The people who visited the exhibitions would usually walk around casually, and took photos. They didn’t harbour any sort of deep appreciation towards art, they didn’t sit and admire.

Therefore, Hyunjin loved revisiting exhibitions in the comfort of twilight. When the expositions were empty, he enjoyed revisiting them, taking his sweet time to admire each piece. 

When he spotted a figure standing before his piece — his most vulnerable piece, he felt his heart drop. He watched from afar as this person observed the artwork, body as still as a mannequin. He had never witnessed someone admire a piece this intensely, especially with it being one of his pieces. He felt flattered, his heart swelling in pride and joy. 

Silently, Hyunjin approached the figure. Usually, he was shy, not the type to approach people first but somehow, he felt the strong urge to this time. Fate was pulling him by his heartstrings.

“That’s my painting,” Hyunjin spoke, ensuring his voice was as soft as possible. 

The sudden voice startled you. You whipped your head towards the source of the noise, eyes widened in shock. They widened even more at the sight before you. 

Hyunjin’s breath hitched. His heartbeats escalated, taking in the figure standing in front of him. His fingers dug into the skin of his thumb, lips quivering. Brown doe eyes mirrored yours.

“Wh — what?” he spoke again, breathless. “Yn?”

A few steps were taken, inching closer towards you. His eyes scanned your face, lips quivering even more when he realized that it was you — you were real, and you were standing in front of him. You looked the same as you did three years ago, except more beautiful. How’d you get more beautiful? The passage of time had seemingly been good to you, the way it had carved your face into one Hyunjin could imagine himself filling his canvases with.

“Hyunjin,” you willed yourself to speak. You ignored the way your eyes watered. “It’s you.”

“It’s you, too. You’re here.”

Another few, brave steps were taken. You, on the other hand, didn’t move an inch. 

“I hate you,” the words spilt past sanguine mouth before you could stop them, its venom contrasting the hushed tone of your voice. They crushed Hyunjin’s heart, though he knew he deserved them. “But I missed you.”

“I’m sorry,” was all that he could say. Hyunjin meant it. He really was sorry. He was sorry as he sent you back from the meadow, too cowardly to bid you goodbye. He was sorry when he packed his bags, stealing one of your sweatshirts for solace. He was sorry when he was on the plane, wishing he could turn back time. He was sorry when he painted numerous portraits of you. He was sorry as he stood before you, watching tears flow down your cheeks because it was the least he could do — a form of punishment for what he had done to you.

You shook your head, palms rushing towards your face to wipe away tears. 

“It’s not enough, I know,” he mumbled, moving closer towards you to wipe your tears, like it was instinct, feeling his heart clench when you took steps back. “But I truly am sorry.”

“You didn’t even say goodbye,” you sobbed, vision blurry. “You didn’t even contact me.”

“I know, Yn, I know — I’m sorry. I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t,” he rambled, cupping your cheeks and rubbing on the skin. You allowed him to. “I swear, I wanted to write to you, but I was too embarrassed, and by the time I had enough courage it was already too late.”

Sobs wrestled their way past your lips, barely able to form coherent words. You kept shaking your head, blurting out the words you’ve kept for years.

“You just left me, Hyunjin — you left me. A day before my birthday,” your whimpers got louder, “I wanted to tell you I’m in love with you, on my birthday. Hell, three years later and I’m still in love with you.”

Hyunjin’s face paled. He had expected curses, and cries — but he hadn’t expected that. Anything, but that. His limbs moved before his brain could process things, lifting your chin to meet eyes. Your eyes were tinted with tears, but you were still beautiful. You’re always beautiful.

“What?” he squeezed your cheeks, “Yn, what?”

“You heard me. I’m not saying it again. It's fucking pathetic.”

“Fuck,” he exhaled. Hyunjin knew he was supposed to feel remorse, but God — his heart bloomed at the words you had whispered to him. You’re in love with him. You’re in love with him, the same way he was in love with you. “Fuck, Yn. You can't just say shit like that.”

Feather-like touches grazed your lips. There was a certain look in Hyunjin's eyes, one that you couldn't quite figure out — they were a look of longing. How could you know it was longing when you had never bear witness to them? You could feel his breath against your face, warm like his fingertips.

“You have no fucking idea how long I've been in love with you. You have no idea how much I missed you. Fuck, I think about you every fucking day,” he whispered, “You have no idea how much I regret getting on that plane.”

At that moment, all you could feel was Hyunjin. His deep, brown eyes staring into yours and his thumb pressing onto your lip.

“Kiss me,” you whispered back, “Kiss me, Hwang Hyunjin.”

And kiss you, he did. His lips crashed against yours with fervour, moving his lips to the same beat as his racing heart. You kissed back in the same manner, letting out the emotions you had bottled up. 

I love you, I love you — each movement of his lips was a love confession, etching his adoration onto the curves of your lips. You caressed his cheeks akin to holding stars in your palms — careful, precious.

Finally, you pulled apart to catch your breaths, bodies heaving against each other. 

“Please, give me a second chance.”

It’s odd the way human minds work, because at that very moment, you were reminded of Colette's words. Ones that mentioned a rumoured secret lover.

“But,” you felt silly for saying it, “Your secret lover?”

“My secret lover?” the boy's eyebrows furrowed. He then chuckled upon realization. The rumour must've spread to you. “Ah, that secret lover. It's you, idiot.” 

He smiled. You didn’t think anyone could look as beautiful as he did.

“It's always been you.”

eleven.  

“Careful — come on, get under here.”

Giggles echoed in the alleyways as two shadows lingered in the darkness of midnight. It was raining, the pavements darkening with wetness and the wind howling a sweet melody. At that particular hour, under the moonlight, Paris looked like the city of love. 

You rushed out of the exposition hall, getting under Hyunjin’s leather jacket. He’d promised you the date of your lifetime that night, and he wasn’t one to break his promises. 

Hyunjin’s back was damp from the rain, but it didn’t matter as long as not a droplet landed on your body. It only took a few minutes (and a lot of giggles in between) to reach Hyunjin’s so-called secret spot. 

Streetlights shone on a bench, and clusters of flowers surrounded a little pond. The spot overlooked the city, you could see the city lights from all the way up here. You gasped in awe, it’s no wonder Hyunjin insisted on coming here.

“So beautiful,” you whispered. Hyunjin smiled softly, moving closer towards you on the bench and wrapped an arm around your waist.

While fondly looking at your visage, he muttered. “Yeah, it’s pretty.”

“How’d you find this place?”

“I found it while I was walking one night,” he explained, resting his head on yours. You could smell his shampoo in this closeness. “I was sad. This garden reminded me of the one we used to go to when we were kids.”

Your heart swelled at the confession. 

“It does resemble that one a lot.”

The skies were still drizzling rain, but you were both a little sheltered much thanks to the oak tree above you. Only droplets dripped, falling onto your head but it was a nice sensation. Besides, you couldn’t feel the cold when you’re nuzzled in Hyunjin’s arm, blanketed in his familiar warmth. You allowed silence to third-wheel you, eyes busied with observing the sight. Silence was always comfortable with Hyunjin. The time spent apart hadn’t changed that. 

He wouldn’t leave you alone, his skin constantly touching yours. It burned against you. You didn’t mind it. Instead, you basked in his love, listening to the sounds of his heartbeats as your head rested on his chest. He intertwined your fingers together, his thumb rubbing against yours. He wouldn’t let go of you, not even when he bent down to pluck a flower, slipping the daffodil onto your ear. 

“I missed you,” he murmured. You weren’t sure how much he’d repeated that phrase but you liked it. “I truly did.”

For the thousandth time that night, you responded. “I missed you too.”

The conversation changed into one about your lives, catching up on each other’s shenanigans. It was comfortable, being with Hyunjin. Topics changed seamlessly. You didn’t have to put much effort into talking to him, you just had to be there.

Softly, his hands moved towards your feet, taking off one of your shoes. He held onto your ankle, tracing his pointer across your sole. You giggled, the feather-like touches tickled. 

“You still have the feet of a ballerina.”

“Of course, silly,” you scoffed, “I am one after all.”

“I’m so glad that your dreams came true,” he whispered, putting your leg down. He cupped your cheek, showcasing a fond smile that stretched to his ears. “I’m really happy that you’re here.”

“Of course,” you repeated. “You told me you’d be wherever I am. It’s only fair I returned the favour.”

The words knocked out Hyunjin’s breath, and it filled his soul with so much adoration, he felt like he could burst. A pleading expression was written all over his porcelain visage, the way in which he squeezed your hand expressing his feelings even more.

“Please,” he pleaded. “I need to be yours.”

You kissed him, for the second time that night.

“I’m already yours, Hyunnie.”

twelve.  

Things with Hyunjin had been going exceptionally well. 

After the fated night, you carried on with so much happiness that you practically beamed everywhere you went. One time when you clocked into work, the Double C’s made kissy noises at you, and Charlotte had whispered, “You must’ve had crazy good sex last night.”

You couldn’t deny it, of course.

Date nights with Hyunjin happened thrice a week, with coffee runs in between classes. The Paris Ballet School and Beaux-Arts de Paris weren’t that far from each other, allowing you to sneak lunches together almost daily. Though you had to admit that even if the universities were far, Hyunjin definitely wouldn’t mind spending extra time just to see you. Sometimes, he’d watch you dance, and sometimes, you’d watch him paint. 

It was like you were both making up for the lack of each other the past three years.

After just two weeks of your relationship, you were acquainted with the comfort of Hyunjin’s home. His roommate was barely home, so you felt comfortable with coming over often. Most weekends, you’d spend the night over. 

Morning birds chirped a jolly ballad, waking you from your slumber. You stretched, feeling the heat of Hyunjin’s skin against yours. You couldn’t help the smile that grazed your face when you looked at him, fast asleep under the duvets beside you. Sleepily, you pressed a kiss onto his bare shoulder, then traced the memories of last night, tattooed on his skin in the form of bruises. It pulled a whine from him, moving under the duvet to press himself impossibly closer towards you.

“Flower,” he mumbled, morning voice husky, “I'm cold.”

“Then come cuddle.”

He did as told, wrapping strong arms around you. You felt his fingers ghost against your naked spine, sending heat straight to your core. You couldn't help the whimper that left you, earning a playful grin from your boyfriend. 

“It's too early to get in the mood, no? Baby?”

Flushed, you smacked his arm. “Shut up.”

Hyunjin giggled, leaning towards you to press kisses onto your face. Mornings with him were often spent like this — limbs entangled, as if you were one. 

“Need to shower, baby,” he sighed, “Have an exhibition today.”

To your dismay, he slowly pulled away from you, missing the warmth of his body. 

“You coming to the exposition?”

“Of course,” you hummed. “Go shower. Can I borrow your laptop while you're in the shower?”

“Yeah, baby. The password's your birthday.”

He got up from the bed, and you flushed as you looked at his bare body. Unluckily for you, your boyfriend quickly noticed your flushed face, taking it as an opportunity to throw a pillow at you and call you a pervert. You rolled your eyes, watching him enter the bathroom before getting up, wrapping the duvet around your naked body. 

You walked towards his study to retrieve his laptop, smiling at the artworks displayed on his peg board. One was of you — a painting of the Polaroid he took of you back in the meadow. The Polaroid itself sat at the back of his phone case. He had never taken it out since the first time he put it in back then.

Whilst humming to a melody, you kicked in the digits of your birthday. The laptop unlocked, showcasing the unclosed tabs. 

Your eyes widened at the words written on the screen.

Congratulations, you've been chosen for a student exchange programme to Rome.

Your heart skipped a beat. Repeatedly, your eyes skimmed the words on the screen. You didn't mean to pry but you scrolled through the email, feeling your heart sink upon seeing the date it was sent.

Over a week ago. 

Yet Hyunjin hadn't told you anything. 

After all these years, he was still keeping secrets from you. You couldn't handle it, and so for the sake of your heart you exited the tab, and shut down the laptop. Careful as to not make much noise, you got dressed. 

“Hyunjin,” you knocked on the bathroom door. “Need to be at the academy now. Bye.”

You needed to be away from him — you needed to clear your head.

thirteen.

You hadn't seen Hyunjin for a week.

The texts from him you didn't avoid, responding each time he sent a message. However, you'd been dodging his requests of meeting, under the guise of practice when in truth, you hadn’t gone for classes in a week. You spent your days moping in your apartment. 

Perhaps it was a little childish of you to do, but you couldn't bear the thought of going through what you did before. You'd tasted a life without Hyunjin, and you were certain you didn't want to live through it again. This was your way of mentally preparing for that life again. 

Your limbs lazily stretched across the cotton duvet as a vinyl played in the background. A melodramatic song played, matching the current tune of your heart. You weren't entirely sure what time it was, but the sound of the apartment bell ringing hinted that it was afternoon. It must be the takeout your roommate ordered.

“Reine,” a familiar voice reverberated in your apartment. “Where's Yn?”

“In her bedroom,” your roommate, Reine replied in her thick French accent. “She's been in there moping all week.”

Damn you, Reine. 

Quickly, you buried yourself in your duvet, anticipating the footsteps which approached your room. Soon, your door swung open, and you could smell the white gardenia in his cologne.

“My flower,” his voice tempted you to look, “What’s going on, sweet girl?”

It didn’t help that each syllable that slipped past his lips felt like honey.

You felt his hands pull down your duvet before you came face to face with your boyfriend. He stood before you, hair slicked back and the white blouse he wore accentuated his shoulders. In his hands was a bouquet of flowers, patches of peonies and daffodils peeking from the wrapper. 

You didn’t utter any words, simply looking at him with watery doe eyes. He didn’t miss the glint of tears, immediately setting the bouquet on your nightstand to get onto the bed. Tenderly, he pulled you onto his lap.

“You look so sad,” he mumbled, “Can my sweet girl please tell me why she’s so sad?”

Damn, him. How were you supposed to stand a chance when he was so ridiculously handsome and sweet?

Trembling, you parted your lips to speak. 

“You’re hiding things from me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What things, baby?”

Your eyes shot daggers at him, bottom lip forming into a pout. Hyunjin had to stop himself from leaning in and biting it.

“You got offered to an exchange student programme,” you finally bit the bullet. “You’re planning on keeping it a secret and just leaving me again, aren’t you?”

Ah.

Hyunjin’s eyes softened. He sighed, caressing your cheek in his hand. He shook his head as his free hand rested on your thigh, massaging the supple skin.

“No, I’m rejecting it,” he answered. “I didn’t tell you because I thought there was no point in telling you if I didn’t even want to go.”

“What?” you responded, voice a little higher than you intended it to be. Your eyes scanned his for any lies. “Hyunjin — it’s a good opportunity.”

“What, you don’t want me here anymore?” he joked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Baby, Paris is already enough for me. I don’t really want to move again.”

You nodded at his words. A huge part of you felt relieved — and you felt awful for feeling that way. 

Love, sometimes, is about being selfish after all.

“Were you sad because you thought I was going?” your boyfriend queried, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You shrugged. “A little. I was more mad that you didn’t tell me.”

“Oh,” he nodded, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, I just didn’t mention it because it felt insignificant.”

“I want you to tell me things,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his neck. It left goosebumps in its wake. “I want to know these things.”

“Okay," he mumbled. Something about his compliance made you feel fonder of him. "I'll start telling you these things."

A sigh of relief left your lips. You had known Hyunjin for years, but being with him was different. A good kind of difference. It would take you a while to adjust to these changes — but it was the kind of changes you'd want to adjust to.

Hyunjin's fingers trailed to your hips, ghosting over your skin until they reached your thighs. He traced the stretch marks there, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You couldn't help the whine that left your mouth, and the heat that arose, tainting the tips of your ears in crimson. Hyunjin enjoyed this — flustering you with his ministrations. He allowed you to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, whimpering as he felt your lips litter kisses on his most sensitive spots.

"I love you," he confessed, like honey dripping from lips. "Promise I'll be wherever you are."

disclaimer — © 2024 hyunverse on tumblr. all rights reserved. authors works are protected under the copyright law. do not plagiarize or translate my works. tumblr is my only platform.

taglist: @zoe8stay , @starlostseungmin , @starlostlaiba , @hwajin , @sleepyleeji , @skizzel-reblogs, @jdopes-recorder , @sherryblossom , @cb97whoree , @alyszaen , @aaliyahxsx , @jeonginsyoungestsibling , @hyunluvxo , @bokk-minnie , @ghostyycat7 , @fortunatelyhertragedy @yongbokkari @ameliesaysshoo @seoli-16 @jisungsdaydreamer @soobnny @seolboba @in2heartz @jehhskz @astraystayyh @mnwrld

[planetaryupscaled]

Yield to Temptation

Male OC x Jisoo

Tags: 13k, cheating, dub con, oral, creampie

The story is not ours, we alternate the original story to match our desired settings.

“You don’t really think that will happen, do you?”

It was the kind of night out that Jisoo hadn’t had in a very long time, maybe ever. Celebrating her friend special day, Lisa. the girls had all gotten together for a night out. Drinks, dinner, a black car to shuttle them all around.

After two glasses of wine at dinner, and then a shot or two of some fruity drink, Jisoo had settled into her seat at the table, enjoying the sights in a way that was hard to imagine for a married mother of two.

The other girls in the group were more rambunctious, and generally behaving like the wild girls that they had once been. Jisoo was more than happy to sit quietly, share an occasional laugh, and check out the eye candy.

One hour turned into two, and the shots were flowing freely. Even with only a few drinks in her, Jisoo was becoming three sheets to the wind. At five feet tall and a little bit more than one hundred pounds, even at her best Jisoo couldn’t handle more than a few drinks. Usually, she stopped drinking before she had the feeling of losing control, but with car service for the evening and a bit of coaxing from her friends, Jisoo was quite intoxicated as the evening wore on.

Lisa had disappeared into the back for a “private dance” with a muscular dancer whom she had been paying attention to all evening, courtesy of her friends’ generosity. “She’s going to get lucky tonight!” said Jennie to Jisoo as Lisa followed her chosen suitor into the back.

—

“You don’t really think that will happen, do you?” asked a surprised Jisoo in response. “I know it’s a 'private' dance, but there’s no way anything serious will happen, is there?”

Jennie laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m really not sure, but...if it’s up to Lisa, she’ll definitely make sure it does, and I doubt that they would mind.” Jennie smiled a bit, coyly, at Jisoo. “there’s only one way to find out...we should send YOU back there.”

Jisoo laughed. They both knew, of all of the girls, Jisoo was the least likely to do anything like that. Straightlaced, she married a businessman not long after she left the group, and other than having fun at her own bachelorette party, she hadn’t even touched another man in like, ten years?

Not that it would have been difficult to do. Jisoo had beautiful brown eyes, full lips, and a pretty face framed by dark brown-ish hair that fell neatly behind her shoulders. Despite her petite frame, she had curves in all of the right places. Her hips flared out into a perfect ass, and her slender tummy led up to a lovely set of tits. Her breasts were still wonderfully perky, even after two children. She was often referred to as cute owing to her size, or girl-next-door pretty, but there was no question that if Jisoo wanted to attract male attention, she’d have no lack of suitors.

“How about him?” Said Jennie drunkenly, pointing to Jisoo a tall, attractive dancer with big brown eyes and light reddish-brown hair. Jisoo giggled a bit...the dancer that Jennie had picked was indeed the one that Jisoo had been eying most of the evening. Either Jennie had noticed, or she just knew Jisoo’s type. a swimmers body… this was definitely the guy that Jisoo would have picked for a dance, but she had no intention of having a dance, in public or private, this evening.

Before she could say anything, though, Jennie was waving her arms, getting the attention of the guy in question. He smiled and acknowledged her, casually starting over towards their table.

One he was facing them, something else became clear. He was clearly very, very well equipped down below. None of the them seemed to be lacking in that department, given their job description, but the huge bulge that this particular performer had was clearly impressive, as if his shorts could barely contain it.

He arrived at the girl’s table, and was greeted to noisy catcalls from the now very drunk and boisterous group.

He introduced himself to Jennie first, extending a hand. “Hi, I’m Jin,” he said over the blaring music. “Are you ladies having fun tonight?”

“Absolutely!” Jennie replied. Motioning towards Jisoo, she continued, “My friend here is feeling a bit shy, but she would really enjoy a dance with you.” Jisoo felt her cheeks go red with embarrassment, and she looked away, a bit perturbed that Jennie was making a spectacle of her like this.

“Sure thing!” he said, enthusiastic. “I always love dancing for the gorgeous ones!” Jisoo felt her cheeks burn, but looked up to him and attempted a smile. His brown eyes stared back at her, as if sizing her up for something, and he spotted a broad grin on his handsome face. Jisoo did enjoy the compliment and managed a weak smile and a nod.

In response, Jin turned his attention away from Jennie and, facing Jisoo, extended his hand again. “Hi, I’m Jin. What’s your name, pretty?” The familiarity with which he spoke to her was actually calming, a bit. She felt her cheeks cool a bit, and extended her small hand towards him. He pulled it towards him, and his huge hand enveloped hers.

The warmth of his grasp surprised her. “I’m Jisoo,” she stated nervously, looking up at him apprehensively. His brown eyes sparkly as he smiled back warmly at her. A lump caught in her throat, and she smiled back, swallowing hard.

“Well, Jisoo, your friend tells me that you’d like a dance.” He stood very close to her, and she caught his smell, a clean, soapy smell. His hips thrust out just a hint, slowly. She realized how close her face was to his generous package, and started to get a bit unnerved.

She leaned back, away from him, and looked up. “I’m sorry if my friends gave you the wrong idea, I’m really not looking for that tonight.” Jisoo found herself laughing nervously as he said it.

Jin kept at it, though. “Oh, c’mon...you wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings, would you?” He gave a fake wounded look.

Jisoo giggled drunkenly. “You don’t want to dance for me, I’m no fun - I’m married!” She waived him off half-heartedly, but clearly enjoying the attention.

“A pretty lady like you, married? What are you doing in a place like this? Your husband is crazy to let you out of his sight!” Jin picked up her left hand, running his long fingers over her wedding band. “You’re lucky that you found me...there are some men in here who wouldn’t be as polite as me if they knew you were taken,” he continued, then His voice dropped into a husky whisper. “I’ll take good care of you, protect you from that element.” Jisoo giggled, and let his hand continue to linger on hers. In response, he placed his hand around her wrist, pulling her hand up and placing it on his flat, muscled stomach. She didn’t stop him, or pull her hand away. Instead, she blushed, running her hand up and down his chiselled abs. Her heart fluttered.

“Go ahead, Jisoo, have some fun for once!” Her friend Lisa called from the end of the table. Jisoo glared at her friend for a moment, and then smiled a mischievous grin.

“I’m not doing it in front of everyone!” She retorted, her hand still lingering on his chest. Her friends howled with laughter.

“Then we’ll get you a private!” Cried Jennie. “Jin, how much to send you in the back with this girl and make her smile?” She pulled out her purse. “She should be free, you know, she needs to learn to have fun!”

Jin smiled down towards Jisoo, and placing his hand over hers, pulled his head down and gave her hand a lingering kiss. “I agree, I wouldn’t dream of charging this treasure, the pleasure would be all mine.” They were clearly drunk, though the fact that she was even a part of this meant that she probably was as well. Oh well, she thought to herself, it’s just a little harmless flirting...

Jin grabbed Jisoo firmly but gently by the arm. She allowed herself to be pulled up, and found herself wobbling next to him, blushing like crazy and definitely drunk.

Jin took her hand in his and started to lead her away from the table. Her friends began to applaud and catcall her as she turned away from them, following Jin. He turned around once more, with a final grin to the table. “Don’t worry, ladies, I’ll bring her back safely before you know it!” Jisoo heard their howls of laughter as she allowed herself to be led away, towards what appeared to be a private area in the back.

Am I really doing this? She thought to herself as she followed the stranger down a dimly lit hallway. He turned to her and said, “relax, it’s really harmless fun, if you want it to be. The customer sets the limits, and we make sure everything is on the up-and-up.” He pulled her closer to him, and they stopped in the hallway. He placed his arm gently around her waist, pulling her in a bit. His other hand brushed her hair away from her face, behind her ear. He is gorgeous, she thought to herself, as he leaned in a bit. “I’m really glad you came here...most of the girls aren’t the type I’m attracted to.”

Jisoo continued to blush, but liked where the conversation was going; his compliments seemed genuine. “And what am I?” She asked, her response tinged with a bit of sass. If she was going to have fun, she thought, might as well enjoy the role for the evening and get a few compliments.

“You, Jisoo, are the type of girl I want to dance for in private, and impress. I love petite beautiful lady with lovely figures…” He paused, and pointed towards a wooden door next to him. “This is my private ‘dance studio’ for the evening. Would you care to see it?” Jisoo simply nodded. “Whew,” he said, grinning, “I was worried that you were going to let me down gently.” He opened the door, and Jisoo, curious to find out what would happen next, walked in. Jin grabbed his friend walking by, and whispered something to him

“What was that about?” Jisoo asked, her interest piqued. “Trying to get him to join us, don’t think you’re enough for me?” She giggled — she didn’t even feel like herself, this wasn’t her talking.

Jin grinned, “I was just letting him know to tell the manager I won’t be back on the floor for a while. As for if I’m enough for you...I’ll let you decide.”

Jisoo traced her eyes up and down his body, lingering on the bulge in his crotch, unable to look away, transfixed. “I think you might be too much for me...” She tentatively whispered.

Jin pulled his arm around her, and eased her towards the room entrance. “I promise that it’s just the right amount for you.” he muttered into her ear as she passed by. Jisoo had a chill go down her spine. What was this man expecting to happen? What, she thought to herself, did she expect to happen?

The room was dimly lit, with a small day bed next to it. The sight alarmed her a bit. “Umm...I don’t know if this is a great idea...” said Jisoo, worried a bit about what the bed meant.

Jin rushed to reassure her, standing behind her and rubbing her shoulders and neck. “No, the bed is just because it’s more comfortable and taller than a couch,” he assured her. “Most of the us are quite tall, this lets the customer be at the right level, is all.” He escorted her over to the bed, “here, sit down, remember, you set the limits, so if you’re ever uncomfortable, we can stop.”

“I should probably go,” she said hesitantly, “I really shouldn’t be here, or do this...” Jisoo looked up at Jin, innocently, but made no move. She was clearly drunk, and he knew, willing to be convinced otherwise.

“Don’t be silly,” he replied reassuringly, and he placed both of his hands on her shoulders, and, guiding her gently, sat her down on the side of the bed. Jisoo slumped down on the bed, and, his hands still on her shoulders, turned to the side to allow him to sit beside her. He sat next to her, only the outsides of their legs pressing against one another.

Jisoo tried to relax, rolling her head to try to get her bearings, shake some sense into herself. She closed her eyes to try to keep her drunk mind from swimming away. All of the alcohol had finally sunk in, and she was drunk, and getting drunker from the feel of it.

Jin’s hands began to kneed her shoulders to her neck, and Jisoo simply melted into him. Within seconds she was leaning back into the source of this bliss, as if she had been waiting for this backrub for eternity.

His hands were warm, and strong, and he massaged her shoulders, down to her arms, and then back up, to her back. She was lost in the moment when she felt his hand slip under the back of her shirt, and she murmured, “Hey, mister...I’m a married...”. But she offered no resistance nor moved in the slightest. His hands traveled past her bra back up to her shoulders, and Jisoo felt a contented sigh escape her lips.

Without a word, his fingers slid under the skimpy shoulder straps of her bra, and pushed them down onto her arms. Jisoo remained quiet, though pushing her arms out to aid him as he slid them down her arms. She was becoming a silent, yet willing, accomplice, she knew.

His hands moved in circles around her upper back, then moving down to her lower back, tracing her bra strap for the briefest of moments with his long fingers. He pressed expertly into her lower back, and Jisoo groaned at the unexpected release of tension. His hands moved slowly, deliberately out to the side, as soon stopped. He was pressed into her, she back into him, and she could feel his short breaths on her neck. The massage had stopped, briefly, and he was simply behind her, holding her tenderly, erotically. She yielded to his touch, leaning back further.

“Is this, okay?” He asked in a hoarse voice. His hands ran up her sides, slowly, pausing just under the fabric of her bra. Jisoo nodded her approval.

“Yes...” She whispered, “this feels so good...” His hands paused for a moment longer, then, began soft circles on her sides, under her arms. Jisoo relaxed her arms, allowing him easier access, subtly willing him to continue his slow, deliberate movement towards the forbidden. His index fingers moved further up, and towards the front, and began to brush against the underside of her bra. With each slow circle, he became bolder, and the fingers that were first simply stroking the sides of her bra, were now full running over her breasts.

Jisoo had been murmuring softly as the tease began, but was now frozen in place as she wondered how far she could let this go before it was over the line. After all, her passive response, along with the multiple drinks in her system, assuaged any guilt she might have had. She dismissed her involvement as simply being along for the ride. Really, she was just here because her friends had coerced her into it.

But now...what should be just a dance from a handsome stranger had turned into a shoulder rub, which was turning into a very erotic massage. She felt as excited and nervous as she had in high school, and then...the light touches on her bra turned into squeezing, gentle at first but firmer, so that her bra-covered tits were being firmly held by the stranger hands. Then she felt Jin’s very soft, warm lips on her shoulder, pressing down and lingering. Jisoo could feel her nipples harden in response to the attention that paid to her breasts. Involuntarily, she moaned, the overwhelming sensations and danger of the evening finally breaking through her prim exterior.

Jin took the signal and went with it. His hands stopped squeezing her breasts and, unceremoniously, lifted her bra from below, freeing her perfect, perky breasts. His hands ran gently over her aroused nipples, pinching them gently cupping her breasts underneath. Jisoo whimpered, softly, as his lips pressed down on her shoulders, then to the back of her neck. His strong arms had fully encircled her, and she was yielding to him, fully.

His lips were now at her jawline, and Jisoo realized that her lips would soon be on his at this rate, and what choice did she have, really? Clearly this man knew how to push buttons that she didn’t realize she had, and her friends had pressured her into this situation. She rationalized all of this as she fell deeper into her erotic trance, and became actually aware of how very damp she was between her legs. Jisoo knew that her primal instincts were taking over, and that the slippery slope she was on could get much, much steeper.

As if on cue, one of Jin’s warm hands released her right breast, and began to slide down her soft, tight stomach towards her waist. His lips pressed hard into her neck, almost possessively, and his fingers found their way under the waistband of her skirt. He pressed her labia through her soaking cotton panties, and an “mmm...” Escaped his lips as he acknowledged her clearly aroused state.

Jisoo swallowed hard, becoming nervous for the first time, yet incredibly aroused. He was seducing her, successfully. An expert, he was priming the innocent wife to be fucked, and she was failing every test of willpower. His right hand rubbed her pussy through her undies, and she whimpered, because she knew she was soon going to lose the battle of wills that she desperately had to win. His fingers pushed under the elastic of her underwear, and began to slide down towards the prize that he sought from her.

Jisoo moaned, in frustration, but tried valiantly to save her purity. Her hand reached across and grabbed his. “Jin- baby...I can’t. I’m married. You can’t touch me there.” Jin relented, pulling his hand out and dropping his other hand from her breast. He wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her neck, repeatedly. Jisoo wanted to cry in frustration, she was so aroused. “I’m so sorry...” she whispered, trying to turn towards him. In her drunken state, she was actually feeling more guilty about leading him on than anything else.

“Okay darling...whatever you want.” He kissed her neck softly, lingering. “Can I dance for you, please?”

Jisoo nodded her head, as this would stop the physical contact between them which was set to put her over the edge. It would also, she thought, give her a chance to see his rock-hard body a bit more, and was clearly a safer option than the path that they had just been traveling down.

Jisoo adjusted her bra, covering her perfect, still-aroused breasts, and sat back a bit on the bed as Jin stood up.

His hands on his hips, Jin began to slowly grind his pelvis in front of her. She stared admiringly at the muscled body in front of her, and was clearly enjoying the show. Jin took one of her hands, and then the other, placing both of them on his hips. He moved in a bit more, and then, still dancing, slowly slid her hands with his towards his rear. “I am definitely too drunk,” Jisoo thought to herself as she squeezed his tight bottom with her hands. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to take advantage of me in my drunken state!” She said, trying to lighten the mood. She ran her hands up and down his tight bottom, lifting his cheeks with a gentle squeeze, as if to emphasize her point.

Jin murmured appreciatively. “I hope you like what you see,” he said, “you can touch anywhere you’d like, that you’re comfortable with. I’ll let you know if it’s not okay. But...”, and he paused for effect. “Anywhere you touch is okay with me.”

In her drunken state, Jisoo took the bait. She found herself leaning in a bit, running her hands from his backside, and then up and down his flat stomach to his chest. Her mind shut off, and animal instincts took over. She found herself breathing a bit heavier, as Jin moved ever closer to her.

Their bodies practically touching, Jisoo had a full view of the monstrous lump that had been apparent before. It was straining against the fabric, clearly swelled even further from their extracurricular activities just moments before. The soapy scent from his skin was heavy in the air, and part of her was thrilled, and nervous, that she was having such an effect on him. The knowledge that the attraction was mutual gave her a boldness that she didn’t know she had. She leaned in, and kissed his abs, gently. Then again, and again. His soft skin felt warm against her lips, and she could feel herself beginning to get wet, again. She could also feel the heat radiating from his groin, and she knew that he was enjoying this on much more than a professional level.

“You can kiss any part of me that you’d like.” Jin stated matter of factly. Jisoo was feeling tipsy, and somehow, it didn’t seem like such a bad idea. It was still less dangerous than the situation from earlier, and now the petite housewife was the one in control found herself in control. She leaned in, giggling a bit. His g-string covered lump rubbed up against her cheek. it was hot, and she could feel it stir as it slid against her left cheek, then her right. His hip shifted, and there it was, in front of her.

“Go ahead, kiss it. There’s no harm...” She didn’t even look up to see his face, she could hear his grin in his words. Jisoo giggled again. This was getting crazy!

She leaned forward, closed her eyes, and without thinking further, kissed it, gently. It was just fabric, after all. No harm, really, just harmless flirting. And she heard his moan, and kissed it, again, her lips lingering against the warmth. She opened her eyes, to see it, rock hard, and she felt it pushing against her lips. He moaned again. Jisoo closed her eyes, her head getting dizzy, her lower body stirring in lust.

“Do you want to see it?” he calmly asked, and hypnotically, Jisoo simply nodded, her brown eyes opening again, to gaze on the massive bulge covered by shorsts. She wanted nothing more in the world than to see it. Jin’s fingers pulled down on the sides of his shorts, slowly. The shorts was pulled down, and what had been a tease, a fabric-covered lump, was now going to be very real, and very large, in front of her.

As the fabric pulled away, his penis sprang out in front of her, only inches from her face, quivering, throbbing, waiting. It was massive, at least nine inches or more, so thick with a large, purple head. It stood proudly at attention, hard as steel, and she felt mesmerized by the large veins of the underside, tracing from the bottom of the glans all the way to the base.

Jisoo simply stared, equal parts in shock and fascination. She sat frozen. It was perfect, in every way, and she felt her body start to react. Her mouth began to water, just a bit, and she licked her lips instinctively. Her cotton panties were clearly soaked, she knew. The desire her body felt for him, for his monstrous organ, was palpable. The martinis from the previous hour had removed any sense of decorum and most of her inhibition.

She stared up at him, apprehensively, her beautiful brown eyes locking on his, quizzically, as if deciding how to react. He smiled at her, and, reaching down and placing his hand on her wrist, as if waiting for her to make the move. This was so foreign to her, she didn’t know the decorum. “Can I...” She started, pausing. There was a moment of silence. Jisoo had to put it out there, but couldn’t bring herself to say it, and break the last remaining boundary between them.

He smiled at her, their eyes locking. “Do you want to touch it?” he asked gently. Jisoo, trembling a bit, simply nodded her answer. Yes, she thought, I want to touch it very badly.

“Touch it, then.” Jin whispered hoarsely, his fingers wrapping around her wrist, and pulling her hand upwards towards his manhood. “It’s okay to want to touch it. I want you to. I would love you to.” he added.

He pulled her hand up, and placed it, silently, on his massive member. Her fingers closed around the thick shaft, unable to wrap them completely around it. It was warm in her hand, she could feel it throbbing. Her curiosity overcame her, she squeezed it, gently. She heard his moan, and she looked up at him. He was smiling down at her, and she almost laughed at how surreal this was. This was so out of character, it didn’t seem real. Jisoo was a good wife, she would never do this for real...but here, it was just curiosity, just fun. It didn’t have to mean anything. And Jin’s penis was so obscenely large, it couldn’t be real, but it needed to be touched. She needed to touch it. Jisoo rubbed her petite hand up and down on the huge, veiny shaft, exploring her newfound toy.

She put her other hand on it as well, and with both hands wrapped around it, there was still an inch or two, before even reaching the massive head at the end. It didn’t seem real, but it was very much so, the heat that it gave off as she slowly ran her hands up and down it enchanting her. He murmured his appreciation, and Jisoo realized in her drunken state that she was slowly jacking him off. A slow, sensual hand job had begun. She stared at the diamond on her wedding band, glimmering in the light, as it dawned on her how much trouble she was going to be in if this continued. His sounds told her that he was enjoying this. Her primal urge was winning out. She wanted, needed this. And, as she was starting to realize that tonight at least...if she wanted it, she would get it, and good.

The pace of her strokes had begun to increase, and Jin’s breathing quickened, with Jisoo’s top hand running lovingly over his head, still hard but softer than the steel below, her finger tracing languidly over his hole. A small string of pre cum connected her finger to his glans as she pulled it away, and Jisoo bit her lip, in hunger and uncertainty. The string of fluid might as well have drawn her in. She felt her own breathing quicken, and she had to fight the instinct to put her finger in her mouth and taste it, knowing that one taste wouldn’t be enough, and lead to much worse. But it was clear, this needed to end, before it went any further.

Jisoo paused, her one hand never releasing his giant phallus. She looked up at him. “I should go...my friends will be waiting.” Jisoo knew that words rang hollow, her hand still slowly stroking his perfect cock, not willing to release its prized toy.

Jin just chuckled a little bit, and ran his hand from behind her ear, to her chin, leaving it there. “Your friends paid for you to have a half hour of fun back here, and it’s only been a few minutes. I guarantee they have completely lost track of time, anyways,” he reasoned with her. “We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to, okay? We can stop anytime.”

As if to demonstrate, he backed away from her slightly, but Jisoo didn’t release her grasp from him. He looked down at her hand, the contrast between her small, ring-covered hand and his monstrous manhood was apparent, and very erotic. “Besides,” he added, motioning down, “I don’t think that you want to stop, do you?”

*

Jisoo averted her gaze from him, shame filling her a bit. “No,” she quietly replied, “I don’t want to stop.” She stroked his shaft lovingly, from the very tip to the base. Her other hand reached down, and stroked his exposed testicles. They were heavy in her hand. Jin groaned quietly. He loved it, she knew it. There were no limits anymore.

Jin had her, and they both knew it. A moment of awkward silence followed. He ran his hand absently through her hair, and then placed his hand underneath her chin, propping her head up. Her large brown eyes stared at his sparkling ones, and he smiled. “Then don’t. You know what to do.”

His hips thrust out, moving towards her face. Her hand remained on the base of his cock, and his hips gyrated, and Jisoo found his monster brushing against her cheek, slowly. Jisoo turned her cheek away, still a bit nervous about what was to come. Again, he slowly rubbed his cock head against her other cheek, this time, more slowly. Jisoo moaned. It was so close. “I can’t do this...” she heard herself say, as she prepared to do exactly what she shouldn’t. She felt the warm tip of his huge cock trace slowly across her lips, and she held still...paralyzed...entranced. It drew away from her, slowly, reluctantly, when she did not offer access to it.

And then she saw a thin line of fluid, connecting from her bottom lip to the hole on his glans. Oh no...she thought. Her free hand reached up to her lip. Feeling moisture, she knew. Instinctively, her tongue licked her bottom lip. It was sticky, sweet, yet salty. She moaned, as she tasted it, involuntarily. She felt herself getting wet, down there. Jisoo whimpered once more.

“I’m a good wife, I’m not like this…I need this,” she thought to herself. No one has to know, she reasoned with herself. Jisoo was quickly sinking in deep, talking herself into it.

She was a good wife. She was a faithful wife. But she was going to be neither tonight. She was giving it all up tonight - for a stranger’s cock.

Jin knew it as well. She was so close to breaking, and he knew that she just needed the smallest, gentlest encouragement. He slowly placed his huge cock against her lips, and Jisoo could hear his breathing, shallow, his excitement matching her own. “Please, baby. Put it in your mouth. You’ll love it. We both will. Please...” he paused. “Just for us. Let’s have tonight.”

“No one will ever know.”

She was frozen in place, staring at his mammoth snake, still with her hand wrapped around it. He leaned carefully towards her, slowly, and his giant mushroom head kissed her still-closed lips.

Jisoo looked up at him with trepidation. “I can’t...” she murmured, but he simply used the moment that she opened her mouth to push forward. The tip of his head rested for the moment on her bottom lip, her mouth open just a touch. Her pretty eyes locked on his, revealing her confusion, and her lust. They pleaded with him, make this decision for me...they said. I won’t say no. He smiled, and slowly pushed his monstrous head between her lips, and instinctively, passively, she opened her perfect lips further. His head slid in, barely fitting, his hand placed behind her head, holding it there, caressing her hair lovingly. Jisoo was sucking cock tonight, whether she wanted to or not.

Jisoo’s head was spinning — explaining everything else was possible, but there was no way to explain a penis in her mouth, another man’s fluid on her lips. Jisoo tried to speak, feebly, half-heartedly seeking to extract herself from this situation, but as she opened her mouth to utter words, she felt the hand caressing her hair hold her in place. She was too drunk and aroused to know what to say.

Attempting to breathe, to get some air, to clear her head, she opened her mouth further, and he took this invitation to slide further into her mouth. She felt her tongue slide under the huge head now in her mouth. The taste of his pre cum swirled in her mouth, and she felt herself getting turned on even more as she realized what a wanton position she was now in. His one hand massaged her hair, and then her neck, and she heard his soft moans as she bobbed her head, slowly, down over his cock head and top of his shaft. She loved sucking cock, and this was the most beautiful cock she had ever seen. She was going to do this, she knew. Her hand was wrapped around the base of his shaft, not even half of him fitting in her petite mouth.

Jisoo took more of him into her mouth, no longer passively allowing him to have his way with her, but lovingly and enthusiastically pleasuring her new lover. His hands left her neck, as it was clear that she was now in deep and was entirely complicit in this act. She paused, pulling it out of her mouth, kissing the tip and slowly licking underneath. She felt herself falling deeply in love with this cock. She wondered what it would feel like to be penetrated by something so large...

His hands wandered down her back and under her top. She felt one hand swiftly and expertly release the clasp from her bra. Jisoo whimpered nervously but did not stop him from freeing her perfect, breasts from her bra. The same hands casually reached down and pulled her top over her head. For a moment, she released his cock from her grasp, and putting her arms up, allowed him the pleasure of seeing her nearly half-naked body.

She felt the air hit her bare chest, only her unclasped bra keeping her from being entirely nude from the waist up. She stared up at him again, and he smiled as his hands removed her bra completely. Her tits stood out proudly, her large, pronounced areolas erect from the combination of the exposed air and the eroticism of the situation that she found herself in. His hands cupped her firm tits, one in each hand, squeezing them gently. Both of his thumbs rubbed over the tips of her nipples, and Jisoo moaned with pleasure. She felt her pussy getting wetter, and began to wonder how to best take care of her need for release. She had never before felt so sexual, so desirable.

“Go ahead, you can touch yourself.” Jin commanded. “I want you to enjoy yourself with me.” Jisoo obeyed, sliding her hands underneath her skirt and past her already damp panties. She became vaguely aware that she had never before been as aroused as she was now, her right hand stroking her special spot as Jin’s hands massaged her tits. Jisoo never even masturbated, and now she was rubbing herself while sucking on a strange man’s penis. The wedding band on her left-hand gleamed, her small hand wrapped around his fat engorged penis.

Seeking a more comfortable position, Jisoo found herself sliding off of the bed, her knees pressing against the tile floor of the dimly lit room. Her hand remained pressed between her legs, rubbing her vaginal folds as she briefly paused from feeding herself this man’s beautiful penis.

Jisoo looked up at him, lust filling her brown eyes, and with Jin his perfect cock from her mouth. Slowly and deliberately, she kissed his tip, and then gave a long lick to the veiny underside of his member. She kept her eyes locked on him, and her large, liquid, coffee-colored eyes continued to plead with his in lust. She wanted him, and he could have her. She made it clear with only a look. At that point she knew she had lost any control of the situation. Jisoo, now on her knees in service to Jin, was surrendering to the moment. Jisoo was becoming a slut. And she loved it.

Jisoo looked up at this near-stranger, a look of lustful desperation in her eyes. “Please don’t come in my mouth,” she whispered, “please don’t make me swallow.” The implication was clear. He could cum, and she would help him climax, make him climax. This was no longer a moment of curiosity gone too far, this was a sexual moment that would go to full completion. Jisoo, now an unfaithful wife, couldn’t even pretend anymore. She wanted deeply to satisfy him, and herself in the process.

In speaking those words, Jisoo didn’t realize that she had given up any control of the situation. She was asking for something, but left the decision to her new partner. In somehow trying to maintain her dignity in a losing battle, she was surrendering to his decision. If he wanted to, he would cum in her mouth. And both of them now knew that she would let him, and she would swallow every drop if he so chose.

Jin just smiled at her, and said “Don’t worry, beautiful, that’s not where I want to put my cum.” In her drunken lust, Jisoo didn’t understand the meaning of those words, she just wanted his warm, throbbing cock back in her mouth again. She soon would learn what he meant.

She looked back down at the beautiful, gigantic cock in front of her and, looking back up at Jin’s brown eyes for approval, placed it gently into her mouth again, and resumed loving his huge manhood as best as she could. They locked eyes as she worshipped him with her mouth, her left hand grasping the base of his phallus while her right hand returned to her inflamed, nearly-bare pussy.

Here she sat, a married woman, kneeling on the floor next to a flimsy bed, sucking off a complete stranger and his huge cock as he played with her tits. She found her own orgasm starting to build as she stroked her clitoris in rhythm with her sucking, her tempo building and the buzzing beginning in her head, so close to release...but then, she felt his hands leave her swollen breasts, and reach under her arms, pulling her up from her knees and pushing her backward onto the bed. She fell drunkenly back onto the mattress, nearly on fire for an orgasm, and looked hopefully, nervously up at Jin. Her hand return to her exposed womanhood, and she prayed that he would soon give her release, with his own fingers or tongue. But that was not to be. Her new mate stared down at her intensely, and simply said “I need to fuck you now, gorgeous.”

Her legs splayed defenselessly, his hands reach towards her panties and made quick work of them, sliding them down her smooth legs and tossing them on the floor beside the bed. Jisoo offered no resistance at all - enthralled by what was happening. In a bemusing attempt to retain some form of modesty, she propped herself up on her elbows awkwardly, and shook her head no. “I can’t do that…I’m- I’m married,” she pleaded. She knew how hollow the words were. She knew if he pushed harder, she would give in. She wanted it as much as he did.

Jin reached for the table next to the bed, and pulled out something in a wrapper. “It’s OK, beautiful, I’ll wear a condom if you want.”

Jisoo fought her feelings, her urges, and almost gave in... Almost. “Not that...I- I just can’t,” she said “please - I’ll give you a blowjob, please?”

Jin laughed quietly, his hands peeling apart the condom wrapper. “No, baby. You want this, so why don’t you help put this on? Either that, or...I don’t have to wear one...” his voice trailed off, teasingly.

She sat up and grab his engorged cock and proceeded to put it back into her mouth, ending the discussion for the moment. Her hand return to her now unguarded pussy, stroking her clit wantonly. The blowjob had become urgent, not just out of lust, but needing to avoid what would be a far more dangerous scenario. Deep down, she knew that if Jin didn’t cum soon, his giant dick was going to find its way inside of her tight married womanhood. Her resistance was waning as her arousal built. She was curious about his huge cock, and if he tried again to fuck her, she knew that she would put up no resistance as he took her chastity.

He again pulled his massive cock from her lips, and she found herself staring at his hand, in which he held the condom. She looked up at him, and Jin smiled and placed the rubber into her hand. Jisoo took the condom, nervously, between her fingers, and, grasping the base of his cock, attempted to roll it on him.

It barely fit, and only with an obscene amount of stretching did the condom even manage to contain his massive head. Jisoo’s shaking hands did nothing to help matters, and she thought back to all of the times where she laughed at the idea that a condom wouldn’t fit. This one barely did. She also knew that she wasn’t just putting on a condom...she was giving permission for Jin to fuck her. Her heart was beating, and her face flushed, as she realized that the monstrous organ in front of her would soon be making its way inside of her most special of places.

It was on him, now, stretching only halfway down his huge appendage, and her hand continued to stroke the uncovered base of his cock as Jin’s hands returned to fondling her perky, perfect breasts. Then he began to lean into her, and Jisoo felt herself sliding backwards, onto her back. She released his manhood, and her back hit the soft blanket on top of the bed. She saw his shadow looming over her, and, her mind swimming, she closed her eyes, and felt the squeak of the mattress springs, and opened her mouth slightly as she felt her legs being parted by his large, rough hands. No sound came out.

In moments, he was on top of her, kissing her lips, the taste of Jin’s pre cum still in her mouth. She kissed back against his soft lips, his massive, sheathed penis pressing against her perfectly flat stomach. It occurred to her in her still-drunken state that this was their first kiss...it was nice, but it somehow made everything feel...real. Thoughts started to flood into her mind. She had been gone for quite some time...her friends sending her to the “back room” was nice, but it had probably been far more than a half hour since she had disappeared. They would wonder where she was.

“Jin,” Jisoo saying his name for the first time, “I have to go...my friends...” He put his finger to her lips. “Your friends think that you got sick and called for a ride home. When we were in the bathroom earlier I had my friend pass the word along.”

Jisoo gasped. Her ride home was gone. Her friends thought that she had left, and realizing the state that she was in, and how she looked, she knew that she couldn’t go back out there now without it becoming a scandal.

Jin smiled, as if he could read her thoughts. “If you want to go...I can make that ride happen. But you seemed to be enjoying yourself. “He leaned in and kissed her again. The struggle in her mind was waning quickly, and she kissed him back. Jisoo wasn’t going to be anyone’s wife tonight. She was going to be someone’s slut.

She felt his body wedge between her small legs. She knew what he was preparing for, but in her drunken passion she did nothing to slow him down. She felt him rub the underside of his latex-covered cock up and down her exposed labia, teasing her. She moaned. Up and down, up and down, her pussy leaking her fluids all over him, preparing for its invasion.

“We can’t do this, please...” He reached down and rubbed his tip against her entrance. Jisoo looked down...her fluids were coating the tip, her own body clearly inviting him in. She knew that her words were hollow, and the inevitable seemed only moments away. “Pleaseee...” She moaned again as his massive head began to rub between her pussy lips. But this time she wasn’t sure if she was saying no, or asking for it. And she knew it didn’t matter anyways, she was going to get fucked, and good. He chuckled softly and kissed her, silencing her protests.

The very tip of his penis pressed against her tight pussy lips, searching for the sweet spot where it could begin its journey inward. It was clear that Jin had no intention of foreplay, and Jisoo’s wet mound made it clear that none was needed. He again rubbed his cock head against her folds, Jisoo’s body providing the lubrication to be penetrated, despite any protests to the contrary. Her head spun, the reality of the situation and what she was doing starting to overcome her lust. “No. Jin, please. I barely know you.” He kissed her again. And again. And finally, she kissed back. She felt herself giving in, what choice did she really have?

The tip of his penis rubbed once more against her entrance, her slick vagina inviting him in, begging for it. Jisoo groaned, her body clearly welcoming this invasion and her mind fearful of how far this was going.

“Please don’t...you’re too big...it won’t fit...” she pleaded with him to stop, her head still holding out hope that her body would resist. Jin began putting pressure against her tight entrance, searching for her sweet spot. Closer...closer...and then he found it, and Jisoo gasped as he started to push his fat cock head into her.

Jisoo felt her breathing grow heavy as her married pussy prepared for its invasion. As he slowly pushed his cock into her, she was being more than filled up...she was being stretched, beyond comfort, to a painful level. “Oh my God, no, stop!” She frantically tried to push him back, but he was too strong, and clearly had reached a decision point. He was fucking this lovely bride, and, he was convinced, she was going to let him.

Jisoo wore a painful expression on her face and held her breath, tense, trying to push him back. She could barely get words out. “Oh...oh...ohhh...my God...” she gasped, as she made a final, half-hearted attempt to keep him at bay.

But Jin kept up the pressure on her, and even with only the very tip in, he had stretched her to the point of ruin. He pushed against her as he pulled her by the hips. “Ssshhh...” he whispered to her, “relax...you’re going to love it,”

He pushed the final bit needed to convince her. He was going to get in, and she knew it. Her hands went slack. Jisoo closed her eyes and turned her head, biting her lip hard.

She uttered one, final, quiet, “no.”, and then she surrendered, inviting him into her.

The whole of his head popped through her defenses, and she moaned in a way she never had before, the guilt that she felt being overcome by her lust to be filled. Only his head was in, but still, she felt her body beginning its surrender to the inevitable, reflexively her hips tilting upward to welcome in the cock that she craved. “Oh baby, you’re so tight...you feel amazing...” he whispered to her as he punctured her throbbing vaginal lips.

Jisoo was intoxicated by his clear desire for her, his demand for her, and could only sigh helplessly as he pressed further into her. “Spread your legs further, gorgeous...it’ll make it easier to take me.” She obliged, straining to take in his size into her small opening. Anything to make the stretching easier, somehow less painful.

Even through the stretched-out rubber, Jisoo could feel the heat of his foreskin folds against her inner walls as an inch, then another, pushed into her. Jisoo closed her eyes as she felt him completing his invasion of her body. She could barely even try to dissuade him. She had welcomed it. And now she was feeling another man inside of her for the first time. She realized that she no longer only belonged to her husband, and all she could do was let out a sad groan of acceptance. She needed this.

He was barely halfway in when their eyes locked upon each other. “Jin, we shouldn’t do this...I’m married. Please don’t go any deeper, please?” He smiled, and grabbed her hips, drawing himself still further into her. Jisoo closed her pretty eyes and let out a choked cry, a mixture of sexual release and pain. “Please...you’re too big for me.” She exhaled, trying to relax, to make it easier. “Oohh...it hurts, you’re going to ruin me...” her voice trailed off as he pushed further into her.

He paused. “I’m sorry, beautiful, but I need this, and you want it so badly. Does it feel good?” She nodded guiltily. It felt so good. He pushed in further. “Do you like it inside of you?” She moaned, and nodded. “Are you going to cum all over it?” Jisoo winced at the words, and then, with a look of shame on her face, slowly nodded. “Tell me.”

He started to pump his organ in and out of her, slowly, going just a bit deeper with each thrust. Her brown eyes remained closed, her beautiful, delicate features intensely reflected the orgasm building inside of her. “Tell me, baby. Tell me how much you like it. Tell me how it feels.”

“It feels so good...” Jisoo moaned in response. She wiggled her rear against the bed, trying to pull more of him into her tight body. Her pert breasts bounced as he pumped against her on the mattress.

“Are you going to cum all over my cock?” Jisoo winced at the dirty language, but nodded in response.

“I’m...I’m going to cum soon...I’m going to cum so hard...” she heard her voice. The first waves of an orgasm built up inside of her. Usually she had to concentrate to climax, everything had to be perfect. This was different, it felt as though her orgasm was being fucked out of her. Jin’s giant penis was pressing against every sensitive nub of her body, his hands tracing along the smooth skin of her married body, forcing physical responses that she never intended to have. “Don’t stop...” she whispered.

Jisoo felt the orgasm wash over her, and she gave in, finally, completely. She felt herself, heard herself, cry out in perfect agony, as she climaxed on the giant organ of a complete stranger. He didn’t even begin to let up, and as her orgasm triggered, and continued, she felt as though he was just starting. Her response triggered a change in his pace. He began to thrust in and out of her with alarming speed, and her body responded with utter physical joy. She came again, immediately, the second orgasm on top of the first, a sexual crescendo that didn’t let up.

Jin pushed deeper into her, harder, and Jisoo could only grab at him with her hands, trying to pull him down into her orgasm. He whispered into her, “You’re so beautiful...do you always cum like this?” She shook her head. “Do you ever cum like this?” he asked, his words punctuated by an extra hard thrust. She could only moan, and shook her head. “I’m not even all the way in, beautiful. We’ve just started.” He reached down and kissed her, forcefully, to punctuate his words.

He then slammed into her, as far as he could go into her petite frame. Jin hit her cervix, always a sensitive spot, where she always made her husband stop. She knew that Jin would not pause as she was used to, she knew he would not be gentle. “Oh God…” she cried out, “I can’t take you…you’re so big...” Jin smiled in response, then slid in again, and again - slowly, and forcefully.

He was hitting her cervix, repeatedly. Jisoo cried out for him to stop, each time. “You’re to- you’re too big...please stop…you’re too big”. The petite married woman was reduced to babbling incoherently as her lover fucked her senseless. Still in a haze post-climax, Jisoo had lost any control.

Still, the pain from his forceful thrusts was receding, as her body began to become accustomed to his unusual size. Jisoo saw him reach for her legs with his arms, and he placed them, gently, on his shoulders as he leaned down into her. Her feet dangled just over his broad collarbone, and she lay helplessly as he thrust in and out of her pliant womanhood, she moaned and cried out continuously as he pressed further and further into her.

Jisoo spasmed again, as he reached further into her than ever before. He hit a new spot, he was impaling her. She let out a choked gasp of surprise, and shuddered involuntarily. “Is that a new spot?” Jin grinned at her. “No one has ever hit that before, have they?” Jisoo stared at him in wide-eyed surprise. She shook her head. “That’s my spot, baby. That belongs to me.”

Jin began whispering to her as he plumbed her depths with his monster cock.

“Do you love it?” he grunted, pushing his entire length into her. Jisoo could only nod, speechless at the feelings that erupted in her. “Are you mine now?” Jisoo, wide-eyed, nodded again. Jin leaned in and whispered to her. “You’re so sexy...you make me want to take off this condom and give it to you properly. Do you want that?”

Jisoo lay still as a rag doll, getting fucked slowly like the toy that she now was. She stared at her new lover, and closed her eyes, shaking her head no. It didn’t matter that she did want that, and that her body was now accustomed to, and loving, this new, huge visitor. The pain went away, and waves of pleasure washed over her.

Jisoo felt him pause, asking her again if she wanted his skin on hers, direct...no protection. She nearly cried in agony. He started to fuck her again, but his words threatened to stop unless...unless...

Her eyes closed and rolled in the back of her head. She cried out as a deep, guttural orgasm washed over her. She heard herself begging to be fucked, and she didn’t care how. “You can do anything to me...please...fuck me. Just fuck me.”

He slowed his thrusts, but didn’t even begin to bring Jisoo back to reality. He paused, and shoved into her, roughly. She groaned. “Fuck me, Jin.” He thrust in hard again, hitting her cervix. She spasmed, hard. “Fuck me.” Again, he bottomed out inside of her, and she could only lay back, and plead for more. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me...” Jisoo heard her soft voice plead and whisper to her new lover, as he explored depths of her that had never been touched.

He continued his ministrations, and stared down at his married conquest. She stared back in rapture, high from her post-orgasmic bliss and continued fucking. “Do you love my cock? Tell me that you love my cock...”

She stared at him with her large brown eyes. “I love it. I love it so much. Please fuck me with your big cock. Please, I want to cum. I need to cum more...” Jisoo had lost any self-control, and words poured out of her mouth that she would never utter.

“You’re mine, do you understand?” He asked. Jisoo closed her eyes and nodded, biting her lip further. Her beautiful married body was betraying her, responding to his carnal invasion with its desire to fulfill its natural duty. “Who is inside of you?” he asked quietly.

Jisoo whispered back, “You are, Jin.”

“And does it feel better than anyone else?”

Jisoo could only nod.

“You belong to me, now. Your pussy belongs to me. Is that clear?” Jisoo could only sigh and nod, as his penis had completely taken over her body at this point, there was no point in denying the truth. “You’re going to let me do whatever I want with you, aren’t you?” Jisoo paused, the mystery behind those words sounding almost threatening, but she already knew the answer.

“You can do whatever you want to me. Use me.” the last words were pleaded, not spoken, and sounded less like an admission and more like a request. Jin’s condom-covered cock had made her see what sex was really supposed to feel like. His many inches filled Jisoo, and at that point she would have done anything for more. In the span of an evening Jisoo had become an absolute whore for a stranger’s cock.

Jin pulled out of her formerly-tight vagina, and Jisoo gasped, the feeling of his absence made it clear the damage that his organ had already wrought to her female parts. His strong arms scooping under her back, he pulled her off of the bed into a sitting position. Reaching down, he kissed one breast, then another, pausing to suckle at her left breast for just a moment. Jisoo could only close her eyes and revel in the sensation. “I love your tits..” he commented as he finished his oral worship of her nipples.

Unceremoniously, he then turned Jisoo onto her stomach, her aroused breasts rubbing against the fabric of the bed, her head pushed down on one cheek into the comforter. His left hand pushed down between her shoulder blades, and she felt her breasts being pushed hard into the mattress, her instinct was to arch her back, the result of which was that her still-dripping pussy was propped into the air. An offering to him, she thought to herself.

She felt his large hands grab her from behind, squeezing her soft, round ass. She felt his lips tenderly kiss one cheek, then the other as his hands drifted to her hips. “I love your ass...” she heard him say, “I love it so much I might have to fuck it someday...” the words thrilled her and yet alarmed her. There was no way that his massive erection could fit into her virgin rear, but just knowing that he wanted such a thing made her even more aroused. The word “someday” floated around, dangerously. Jisoo knew that this one-time fling could very easily turn into a regular thing, if he wanted. Jisoo already knew that she would do as he told her.

His hands pulled at her hips, and she felt him kneel down behind her. Turning her head, she could dimly see that he was prostrate to her, and she felt his lips make tender contact with her dripping wet pussy. His tongue followed, tracing a long, slow, luxurious path from her clit up to the very end of her. He repeated the move, and again, pausing after the third time to deliver a gentle kiss to her exposed pussy, followed by his tongue pushing into her, hard. He could hear him murmur his clear arousal, and he pulled away, muttering “you taste so good...I need to make you mine,” followed by further, eager licks to her pussy. Her clit was vibrating as he slowly sucked on it with his mouth, and Jisoo’s knees trembled as another orgasm began to build in her loins.

To her dismay, Jin stopped his oral worship of her, and Jisoo found herself subconsciously, slowly, shaking her rear as his tongue left her, straining lewdly for him to continue making love to her with his mouth. Her moan of frustration was met with a quick response, his hand placed firmly on her sex again, his fingers probing her, stroking her, rubbing up against her.

His other hand was placed firmly on her hip, grabbing the soft padding on her side and pulling himself into her. His hand left her sex, and was replaced by the smooth, warm skin of his cock head, again rubbing against her. But this time...it felt different.

Jisoo pulled her head off of the bed, and tried to turn around to confirm with her eyes what her body was feeling, but she could see nothing except him smiling, staring down at her backside, clearly focused on guiding his monster into her tight body. She felt him slide against her, seeking the right angle with which to penetrate her dripping cunt. “Jin...” she nervously spoke, “Are you wearing protection?”

Jin looked up at her, and as they locked eyes, she could see the answer in his eyes even before he shook his head. No condom would separate them further.

Jisoo struggled to prop herself up, but a firm hand on her back pushed her back down. “You don’t want me to use a condom, trust me. You want to feel this, don’t you?” She felt his other hand guide his cock against her exposed opening, again rubbing slowly, up and down, searching for the sweet spot.

Jisoo wobbled drunkenly on her knees, trying to stave off what seemed inevitable. “Jin...” Jisoo pleaded, “you have to wear a condom...please...” She felt his tip pause at her opening, but soon there was pressure there, from his body forcing it into her petite, married hole. “Please, please...I hardly know you...”

His hands ran from her hips up her side, past her ribs and gently cupping her breasts which hung beautifully below her, rolling her nipples between his fingers. She felt his lips in between her shoulder blades, gently kissing her soft skin. “I know, baby...that’s why we’re going to get to know each other much better now...” his words wafted to her ears, and his hands unclasped from her breasts, and traveled to her shoulders. She felt him stand up behind her.

The pressure from his penis was as firm as the previous entry, but this time, Jisoo’s body was prepared, even eager, for his entrance. He pushed into her firmly, and she felt his skin ripple against hers, every vein and bump of his huge cock sliding against her tight vaginal wall, stretching her out obscenely. She closed her eyes and gasped. Jin was fucking her bareback, and it felt amazing.

One inch, and another, and another went in. Having never had sex doggy style, Jisoo was unaccustomed to how she should position herself, but Jin had taken control. Her soft, round bottom waived in the air, offered to him, and he was taking her gift. Jin was taking her, completely. He was only halfway in, but Jisoo could already feel him deeper than ever before.

Jin pulled her firmly into his huge cock, and she felt his erection bump against her cervix, causing an involuntarily spasm. Her moan only encouraged him, and he went deeper still, the angle of his penis pressing against parts of her that she had never felt touched before. Jisoo turned her head, trying to catch his gaze. “Please...I’m not on birth control...please...” He smiled at her and leaned in, hunching his body over hers and sloppily kissing her, his tongue invading her mouth as his penis had invaded her body.

One of his hands traveled down her body, brushing her aroused nipples, sliding down her flat stomach, and ending at her engorged vaginal lips. His index finger traced slowly, languidly, towards her clit, pushing into her moist folds and finding her small button, stroking it gently. Jisoo closed her eyes and whimpered softly. “Please...don’t...Jin...please...”

“Shhh...relax and enjoy this. I want you to enjoy this. I want you to cum for me.”

Jisoo became overwhelmed, from the continuous stroking on her erogenous zone and the massive penis that throbbed inside of her. She felt her pussy clamp lovingly around her new lovers phallus as the first waves of an unwanted orgasm crashed over her. Each moment of pleasure weakened her resolve further, and she found her head buried in the mattress, groaning softly as he pushed deeper and deeper into her.

“Pull out before you cum...please?” she heard herself weakly ask, and she felt him pause mid-thrust, only his massive crown was still inside of her now sore and stretched cunt. Her hands were stretched out in front of her, she realized, her hands with a death grip on the bed sheets that she was being fucked senseless on. Jisoo knew how half-hearted her request sounded. She also knew that she was absolutely going to take his cum if he demanded it.

He thrust his penis back into her, slowly, rotating his hips to explore every nook of her tight womanhood as he did. “Whatever you want, gorgeous. It’s your night...” His words brought her some comfort, and relaxing her grip on the sheets, she turned to him and gave him a worried look. Still, she consented to his further penetration, and he resumed slowly defiling her married body.

In and out, in and out, each stroke brought him deeper, and Jisoo learned what it was like to be truly fucked with every pump of his hips. His hands, which had been pulling her slowly into him, relaxed, and began to caress her areolas, as she began to drive her own body into his, gaining comfort with his massive prick and wanting, needing more of it inside of her.

He pulled her up into his embrace, and she felt his lips kissing her shoulders, her neck. She could feel his hot breath on her as he inhaled the scent of her dirty blond hair. She heard his low voice “Mmmmhhh” in approval, and his hands guided her hips down onto his from the top of her hipbone.

Jin’s hands then ran up her body to her firm tits, and he cupped them possessively as her petite curves bounced up and down on his cock. Fucking him was getting easier, as her body adjusted to the size of her new lover and as a result of the copious lubrication that her own body was providing. His hands roughly pinched the tips of her nipples, perched perfectly on top of her silver-dollar sized, light brown areolas. She whined in satisfaction, her petite body responding to his forceful touch.

“You’re so beautiful...” he whispered in her ear, “Let me cum in you.” Jisoo shook her head, but continued to let her pussy be massaged by his massive prick.

“Baby...I’m going to cum.” Jisoo sank once more onto him, deeply, and then, fighting the cravings of her body, climbed off of him. Not wanting it to end, she got onto her hands and knees, in between his legs. She took his slick, glistening erection in her hand, and quickly and hungrily put him into her mouth. She tasted their mixed lovemaking on him, and, feeling a small trickle of pre cum, moaned in hunger and anticipation for his semen. She paused, taking him out of her mouth. She stared up at him. “I will swallow you...” she whispered. It was a gift for him, it was something that she had never done before, but now Jisoo needed it, badly.

Jin sat up, and stroked her cheek. She put his wet erection back in her mouth, running her tongue along his shaft as she did. Bobbing up and down, Jisoo cupped his scrotum lightly, waiting for his inevitable groan, mentally ready for his warm cum to flow into her mouth.

He groaned, once, and then pushed on her shoulders. Confused, Jisoo leaned back, and felt him push further onto her shoulders until she fell onto her back. “Jin...what...” His strong arms grabbed one leg each at her knees, and separated her smooth, long legs.

He was propped over her, on his knees, and she watched him release her left leg and grab his prick, aiming it towards her neatly trimmed mound. In one smooth motion, he was back inside of her, and Jisoo felt the hard pressure of his erection as he pushed into her quickly, urgently. He began to stroke in and out of her, a frantic pace that hadn’t existed before.

The urgency of his actions and speed surprised her, though his motions inside of her gave her what she craved. Jisoo stared up at him, confused and lustful at the same time. “Jin, what are you...” He cut her off with a quick, intense kiss.

“Baby...you’re mine now.” His strokes slowed, and he went deeper. One push in, and then another. His grip on her legs tightened. Jisoo felt her perfect tits jiggle from the force of his thrust. “I need to cum inside of you.” he grunted, and then closed his eyes.

“Jin, no, don’t do it...please...” Jisoo tried to struggle off of the bed, but she was pinned down by the size of his body. “I’m not on birth control! Stop!” Her words were cut off by another kiss, which she instinctively responded to.

The kiss ended. He moved to her neck, leaving marks with hard, possessive bites. Jisoo closed her eyes...this can’t be happening, she thought to herself. His husky voice whispered into her ear.

“You’re such a sexy lady...you wanted this from the first moment we started...now you’re going to get it.”

She gasped. “I can’t. I’ve never done this before with another man...please...pull out. I’ll even swallow your cum, I’ve never done that before, ever...please, PLEASE!” She became frantic.

Jin just smiled at her, and rocked his hips, his cock already planted deep inside of her, reminding her of what her body wanted. Jisoo moaned at the guilty pleasure washing over her. “Please...” she whispered, “I’m not a slut...”

“Yes, you are,” he murmured, “You are tonight. And you love this.” His hand slid up her leg, and his thumb found her engorged clit, and began to stroke it slowly. “You’re going to cum all over this cock, and I’m going to cum in you, and you’re going to love it, you married slut.”

“I’m not a slut,” she whispered uncertainly, as his giant cock slid in and out of her closely-trimmed, swollen pussy. She felt her lips eagerly wrap around his shaft, milking it. Her body was betraying her words as it did its natural duty. Jisoo was starting to realize that her body wanted her lovers cum inside of her, and it was now taking steps to ensure that she would get it. She felt another orgasm building, and her vagina began to contract, squeezing his cock, urging him on. Maybe I am a slut... she thought to herself, as a dull roar formed in her head. Her orgasm was near.

“You’re a slut. You want to swallow my cum, don’t you? You’re my pretty little married slut. Tell me that you’re my slut, and I’ll let you swallow it all.” He pulled her hips towards his, he was completely inside her. Jisoo cried out in a mix of pleasure and pain. He was impaling her, he was ruining her, she knew.

The combination of being called a slut repeatedly, of knowing that it was true, and the insistence of his invading penis broke her, finally. Tears welled up in her eyes as his monstrous cock forced another small orgasm from her. She cried out. “I’m...I’m a slut. I’m your slut. Let me swallow your cum. I’ll swallow your cum. I want your cum.”

“Tell me again...” he growled. “Tell me what you want...”

Jisoo stared up at him, her eyes pleading with his. “I want your cum. Please. Just give me your cum. Give your little slut your cum.” She closed her eyes as another orgasm washed over her, tears ran down her face as she admitted the truth. “I’m just a slut.”

“Wrap your legs around me, baby...”

Still in an orgasmic haze, Jisoo obeyed, just needing his cock deep inside of her. Her petite, smooth legs locked around him, and the widening of her hips allowed him unfettered access to her. The pretty housewife had completely surrendered to him. She licked her lips, knowing that he would soon be pulling out and feeding her his semen.

Instead, Jin’s hands returned to her hips, sliding under her bottom and using his weight to push his full size into her. “You’re going to take it all, slut.” he groaned deeply, an animalistic sound coming from him. “You’re mine.”

Jisoo realized what was happening, as if in slow motion. But Jin was holding her legs, and his massive prick was completely buried in her, their groins pressed together. Jisoo gasped, and grabbed for his arms to pull them off of her legs. His arms held fast. A small sob escaped from her pretty mouth, and staring up at his face, watched as the pleasure that her body gave to this strange lover manifested itself on his face.

“Please don’t cum in me...” she whispered plainly, not a plea, just a quiet request from a broken woman. Her head slumped down onto the mattress, defeated. A tear rolled down her cheek as she realized that she was just going to have to take his seed. After putting herself in this wanton position, it was what she deserved.

His thrusts slowed, deeper, as he bottomed out into her. She felt her body adjusting, to fit this new angle, and she knew from her prior experiences that this natural response meant only one thing: her body was preparing to mate, to accept her partner’s seed. Jisoo exhaled, trying to relax, and felt her legs wrap tighter around his back, sealing her fate. She knew it was only moments. She knew that her body wanted his cum.

Jisoo accepted her fate.

Jin moaned out, and Jisoo felt his cock begin to throb as his semen pulsed through it. The petite woman could only let out a small whimper as she felt the first flood of semen pulse into her waiting womb. “Ohhh...” she whispered in shock, her pussy eagerly milking his mammoth organ for its illicit seed. She no longer tried to push him off, instead wrapping her arms around him, instinctively, pulling the father of her next child closer.

“Ohhh...you came...I love it...” her small voice only encouraged him to push deeper, deeper into her. Jisoo cried out in relief and realization as she felt each pump of his cum spraying against her waiting womb. He collapsed against her, spent from his gift, as she could only whisper out, “Jin...I’m not on birth control...” She let out a small sigh, as the finality of her betrayal dawned upon her, as she realized what she had done.

Jisoo’s mind reeled as their mating concluded, she could feel his penis, now coated with his cum, slickly pump in and out of her unprotected pussy. She came again, despite herself, as the overwhelming eroticism of their act hit her in totality.

“Yes, yes, take it, you pretty little married slut. You love it, don’t you?” Jin smiled, his eyes still closed. “You’re mine, baby. Forever.” He leaned down and kissed her. “You’re still holding me in...you love it.” He was right...throughout all of this, Jisoo’s small legs wrapped tight around him, holding him close to her. “I couldn’t have pulled out if I wanted to...Ughh...” he grunted as Jisoo felt the last of his cum drain from his still erect penis. “I knew I was going to put my cum in you the minute I got you back here. Your married pussy was begging for it. You’re so tight.” He kissed her again, his tongue invading her mouth. “We’re going to have to meet up again soon. I want to fuck you again, and you’re going to let me. Your husband isn’t going to like what I have in store for you...”

He pulled his giant cock unceremoniously out of her, and a gush of his cum poured out of her defeated, used cunt. She lay still, silently staring at this stranger whom she had just allowed to defile her, and he climbed onto her chest wordlessly. Wracked with sobs, tears slid down her face, she saw him straddle her chest, his distended penis, coated with both of their fluids, lay heavy down near her mouth.

“Clean me off...” he stated gently, “And then I’ll get you your clothes back so that you can walk out of here with some dignity.” Jisoo looked up at him, hopeful, that he wouldn’t make her do such a disgusting thing. He shook his head at her hopeful glance, and put his hand behind her head, guiding it up to his slick cock. Feeding it into her pretty mouth, Jisoo learned what it was to be truly loved. Her married sex had always been gentle, loving. This had been steamy, forceful. Now she learned the full extent of this passion. He pumped his cum covered cock into her mouth, and managed to ejaculate a bit more semen into her as a final gift. She shuddered at the sour, salty taste of it. “Swallow it all...every drop, show me that you love it.”

Jisoo closed her eyes and nodded silently. He was right...she had tried to fight it with words, but her actions spoke differently. Her body had wanted it, sought it out. She had given up every bit of purity to him, and had loved it. Cleaning him off made it no worse, it was only a fitting finale for their tryst. She finished cleaning off his still-erect cock with her mouth and tongue, and, as a goodbye present, gave it a long, wet, slow kiss, running her tongue along the head. The taste was utterly perfect. She wanted him again, already. Jin shivered, and, satisfied, finally, he climbed off of her.

The next minutes were a blur. She put on her clothes, and was hustled through a back door, where a black car waited for her...the car that had been called for her, she supposed, long ago. As she slumped, disheveled, into the back seat, the black, middle aged driver gave her a knowing look, and nodded - clearly she was not the first housewife who had explored her erotic side after too many martinis. Jisoo gave him her home address to the driver, and stared out of the window, as the car took off into the night. She felt Jin’s cum drying slowly inside of her and on her leg and panties, as the smell of their lovemaking surrounded her. Her mind reeled as the city disappeared into the night.

[sugurouge]

— taste of the divine : getō suguru x f!reader

content warnings! DARK CONTENT, forced marriage, kidnapping, mind break, heavy manipulation, dubcon, breeding/pregnancy talk, misogynistic topics, torture (isolation & darkness), conditioning, pet names (love, little dove, good girl), depression, stockholm syndrome

summary: Set out on the honourable task of finding the right wife for their leader, Getō's followers have abducted a special sorceress to bear him children that will carry on his will and legacy. Unfortunately, unlike your rather promising lineage, your temper and beliefs are anything but befitting for his wife. But not to worry, there are many ways to reshape a person. You will learn. Of that, Getō is sure.

❝ la sensualité de ton regard, la fragilité de ton corps. je brise ta pureté. deux âmes s'emmelent pour l'éternité. ❞

wordcount: 3.5k | my kinktober masterlist

by clicking read more you are agreeing to consume dark content. don't interact if you cannot differentiate fiction from reality.

Never have you felt as objectified as you do in this very moment: the lustful, piercing stares of Geto’s countless followers bore through your clothing as you are thrown before him—a man you know all too well from hushed whispers and dark stares within the Jujutsu Society. He is the enemy, a lost man.

The white robe they forced upon you, a mockery of a bridal attire, does you no favours. They made sure to leave nothing to Geto’s imagination: he should easily see how thoroughly they searched for a perfect fit when they took you.

And yet, somehow, he doesn’t even acknowledge your presence—not once does he seem to look at you, unlike everyone else in the room.

That is the first blow to your pride.

Then, there’s the way they speak about you as if you are not even there. Coming from a prestigious, ancient sorcerer family, your bloodline offers Geto everything he could possibly desire, all he could ever need from his perfect breeding vessel to bring forth some sort of prince to revolutionise the world. Indeed, they say, you are perfect.

“That monster will not lay a hand on me!” Your fighting spirit is adorable. But nothing could have prepared you for the sudden, heavy impact landing on your cheek. Geto can’t hide his chuckle at your shocked reaction. Did you truly expect to insult him in a room full of his most loyal men? They would never hesitate to put you in your place before continuing their praises of their great Geto-sama.

Strike number two followed so quickly, it made your mask crumble. The frustration becomes a thrilling decor on your face as you continue to hold your bruised cheek. There is so much hatred in your eyes—Geto looks forward to replacing it with fear. You will learn your new place, he is sure of that. You will love to obey him, to bear him children that will carry out his will and create a society of the promised.

Yet, Geto appears to hold not the slightest bit of interest for you, no desire found in those deep purple hues you nearly drown in.

He knows he needs to play this game wisely. He can’t have a woman at his side who despises him, can’t risk the danger of a mother who would rather kill her children than let the riders of his apocalypse trample the grounds of this world. You need to fall for him, have to desire him. For that, your strong-willed mind has to be broken, to turn you into the most ethereal sacrificial lamb the Jujutsu Society has ever known.

With a softly spoken command to "leave us," the room empties. His followers depart swiftly, their obedience causing you to frown. How can they submit to a demon like him?

A demon—that’s what he is to you. Dangerous, devious, twisted—yet alarmingly beautiful. As he approaches, the air seems to catch in your throat, and, of course, Geto notices the heavy swallow you're forced to take.

Is this the moment he’s going to claim you? Right here, in this dreadfully cold room, surrounded by an atmosphere of adoration for his sick schemes? Your body instinctively leans back, shrinking away beneath his stare. You already appear so submissive. He doesn’t trust it.

Standing tall with feet planted firmly on the ground, Geto looms above your kneeling figure. You didn’t expect the shiver that crawls over your skin as your eyes meet his. It’s as though he has flipped a coin and donned a different personality: one of intimidation and something darker, something sick. He might kill you on the spot if you speak now.

Hence why your lips part, yet no words escape before you shut them once more. The nervousness clouds your mind, paralysing your thoughts as you waver between holding his gaze or looking away. You're already caught in his web.

"Learn to love your new home," he says—the only words he speaks before leaving you alone.

The man you expected to force himself upon you, to bruise you, to scar your body and mind—he never touches you. He never seeks you out, never again meets your gaze. Your first night welcomed you to a life of isolation. You can only cling to the sticky feeling of fear that attaches itself to your new daily existence around Geto’s presence.

𓍯𓂃

Every day, you are expected to be part of his reception, dressed in fine clothing, your hair styled in ways befitting your title. Yet, despite this, you are forced to kneel, your forehead touching the ground, just like all his followers. You have reluctantly accepted this role after spending your first weeks locked away in a tiny room, with barely any light or kindness to sustain you. 

During those weeks, you never once met your 'husband'. He refused to be bothered by your disobedience, unconcerned with the punishment his most trusted men inflicted upon you. 

It all played perfectly into his hands, as you began to believe these men to be far worse monsters than Geto could ever be. After all, he never laid a hand on you, never tortured you, never dragged you into the dark dungeons until you began seeing things. 

After months of this twisted game of escape within his temple, with only his henchmen for company, he finally deemed you broken in. No one had ever lasted this long under his torture before. He might have even said he was impressed by your willpower. But that strong-willed part of you was gone the moment Geto finally decided to free you from the darkness. 

He may never forget the state he found you in: the hatred in your eyes shifting to relief upon seeing his face, your body worn down and weak from exhaustion, your fighting spirit crushed by the horrors your mind encountered in that cell.

You wanted to be saved by him. 

Deprived of human contact, kindness, touch, affection, you crave to be cradled in his arms. You want nothing more than to feel a hand pat your back, to be held tightly while you finally allow yourself to cry until you pass out. But the torture continued. Geto assumed it wouldn’t take much more to get you to eat out of his hand. So, for now, he shall continue this farce. He shall refuse to touch you since you aren’t fully ready to accept his love just yet. 

That much was clear since he could still catch you stealing glances towards the nearest escape route, no matter which room you were in. Until eventually, even with the doors unlocked, you no longer dared to look. You were too aware of what they would do to you if they caught you again. You couldn’t bear to be plunged back into the darkness, where the monsters you carried out of that room still haunted your sleep. 

So, you learned to listen, to bend in an attempt not to break, while your mind slowly began to fade. Geto loves this version of you. How you bow to him each time he passes, how your body stiffens at the mere sound of his footsteps, how your eyes search for him. What are you looking for? Have your resources finally run dry? Do you need him now? Need him to fill you with his love, his affection, and his seed? Geto can only admit to himself the joy he feels upon comparing this new you to the feisty thing you once were. It makes his desire almost unbearable, his cock heavy with the urge to pump into you until you give out, until you bless him with the perfect children. 

You should really stop clinging to your dignity and surrender yourself to him. 

Instead, you isolate yourself further. You behave, yes. You don’t act out, you don’t try to escape. You are now a perfect rule follower, much like a robot, little like a wife. But what else could he do but leave you space. He swore to contain himself. He’s not some monster that would hurt another great jujutsu sorcerer. Plus, he adores you too much.

But he does start to worry. Worry for the plans that will fail if you succumb to your depression and fail to cling to him for support, for purpose.

𓍯𓂃

Imagine the surprise Suguru tries to hide upon learning about the person standing in front of his most private chambers, seeking an audience at such a late hour. A defiant shadow of the woman you once were enters his haven—your hair loose and unstyled, a soft and tired expression gracing your beautiful features, and that delicate robe you chose to wear for him. Your guard is finally gone.

After another slumber filled with dark monsters and fears, you find yourself desperately searching for comfort and found yourself in front of these doors.

Suguru moves closer, tearing through the final walls you've erected around yourself. He didn’t expect you to break down merely from his acknowledgement of your presence. Was he too hard on you? He wonders, as gentle hues of purple try to solve the riddle in front of his eyes. The kind words of “You are so beautiful,” make your shoulders sag, they add a tremble to your bottom lip—a reaction Suguru hadn’t anticipated. His sudden gentleness feeds your depraved ego. Careful not to turn into a glutton. 

The smell of incense and sandalwood might just become your new favourite. The creamy sweetness blended with earthy undertones seems to be a comfort you didn’t expect once Suguru stands in front of you. The warmth of his palm, another trait you wouldn’t have granted him—you always expected him to be cold to the touch. Yet, as a hand lightly rests against your neck, you feel yourself melt.

To Suguru’s astonishment, you lean into his touch and let your eyes fall shut. This serene moment allows your mind to finally slow down thanks to the much needed human contact. For some reason, you feel safe, protected. 

You are so docile now.

Your eyes meet as Suguru tilts your chin upwards, leaning in until his forehead rests against yours, his fingertips tracing the contours of your neck and collarbones. “You’re empty,” he breaks the silence with a gentle voice. “Let me change that…” The tip of his nose nudges yours, soft lips graze your skin before trailing kisses along your jawline. “I can make you forget about your past struggle and give you a new purpose…” Your hand fists the fabric of his attire as an attempt to ground yourself, his affections have you hum in sugary content. “A purpose greater than you ever anticipated.” Suguru’s free arm finds rest around your waist, to stabilise your tired form against his chest while his mouth attaches to your neck, leaving kisses in its wake. 

“Give yourself to me, be mine forever,” his husky voice reaches your core, hits exactly where he wants to influence your body most as he whispers the words into your ear. Then he pulls back, to cradle your cheek while commanding you. “Look into my eyes, little dove.” He tilts his head, challenging you to focus on him, to finally speak, surrender. 

He needs to taint you, to finally shatter the perfect image you’ve been trying to uphold. “Let me save you.”

You can barely offer more than your pliant body, seemingly overwhelmed by his greed for you. “Save me, please,” the whispered words threaten to burn themselves into Suguru’s memory.

His fingers run over your shoulder, down to your chest and above your stomach. You feel hot beneath his touch, needy to be filled with life and love again.

The alluring touch reaches beneath your robe, between your soft thighs, allowing him to tease you through the fabric of your panties. The tip of his finger grazes the delicate area, soft moans escaping your lips as your hips push into his touch.

The moment lures you forward, to close the distance and have your shaky lips meet his in a searing first kiss. Who would have thought you were that starved? Naughty girl. But he happily leans into your guidance, kissing you without restraint, teeth tugging at your lower lip before his tongue pushes into your mouth, leaving you breathless and needy.

As you break away, your face finds refuge in the curve of his neck, sighing your pleas for “more…” against his warm skin. “Patience, love,” Suguru breathes, eliciting goosebumps to decorate your skin and a flood of pleas to cloud your mind. One of his fingers hooks under the silky fabric, tugging at it teasingly to let the cool air hit your pulsing heat before a single fingertip begins to tease your clit, then enters your clenching little hole.

Your moan is unholy, a sound so exquisite Suguru couldn't prepare himself for it. He won’t let you hide them. A finger redirects your face to force you to look at him and allow him to drown in your glazed eyes. The irregular huffs from your lungs warm his skin, as he loses himself in your irises. You’d kiss him again if not for the firm grip on your chin.

“I’ll make you feel good every night, as often as you need me,” the once-dangerous man promises, before showing you his mercy. His hands release you to finally tug at the overflowing fabric of your robe, exposing your heavenly form to his eyes. And yet, you don’t feel exposed, don’t feel shame anymore as you watch Suguru admire you. You’ve never felt so good.

“Undress me,” Suguru’s firm voice commands, though he seems so pliant, so soft. Let your rush of confidence guide you to close the distance again, let your fingers untie his robes and slip beneath the heavy layers. His eyes close upon your touch, almost as if he’s allowing you control. Leaning in, his temple rests against yours and strands of dark hair drape over your shoulder area while the fingertips that trace along your waistline already feel like home.

As you push the fabrics off his shoulders, you can’t help but explore Suguru’s built figure. The contrast between his skin and the richness of his hair, illuminated by the moonlight, makes him look almost innocent. You swear you feel him shiver as your fingertips thread through his hair, his shaky exhale dampening your skin. “So pretty,” you murmur subconsciously, upon which his eyes open, a newfound desire now pools in them. 

You don’t mind the blunt nails that dig into the plush of your ass, don’t mind being pushed back until your calves bump against his bed frame. Yet, he keeps drawing in, to fully push your figure up against him while cupping your face to kiss you again. Suguru’s hardness meets your stomach, tainting your skin with his pre-cum while seeking such teasing pressure. The thought of being inside you any moment now has turned him needy. He kisses you more erratically, lips crashing against yours until they nearly turn numb.

He guides your body to find comfortable rest on his mattress as he leans above you. There is a moment of pure adoration as your hands cradle his cheeks gently, before curious fingertips explore the flexing of muscles beneath the required force to hold himself up. His hand roams over your heaving chest, appreciating the form of your tits before trailing along your waistline and hip to take a firm hold of your inner thigh—parting your legs with ease to prod the head of his cock against your achingly ready hole.

Your eyes shoot up to him as he guides his length to run along your puffy lips, coating himself in your arousal and relishing the way your hips push against him. It’s too tempting not to push into you, especially when you roll yourself against the head of his cock, stretching your entrance around him ever so slightly and forcing a moan from Suguru’s lips. Your hands rest in the long strands of his hair and at the soft skin of his nape. Every fibre of your being lures him forward, pleading for him to make you feel complete.

He succumbs, leaning down to swallow your moans as he whispers, “Forgive me for my sins,” just a second before he sheathes himself deep inside you. You never expected to experience pleasure this intense upon your surrender; the stretch of Suguru’s cock a wicked reward that steals the last drops of sanity from your mind. Your lustful moans echo in the shared space between your bodies, and the chilly temperatures of the season make your panted breaths seem feasible.

“Finally,” you think you hear his breathless murmurs before he leans in again, lips latching onto your perky nipple while Suguru palms your right breast, gently squeezing your soft mound and rolling the nipple between his fingers. His teeth spoil—or rather, overstimulate—your left side, nibbling on the sensitive area until you whine and writhe beneath him, your hips pressing against his cock perfectly. How could he resist putting a little torture on you?

“You feel so good,” his words drip like honey into your ear. The tips of his hair and the trained muscles of his upper body brush against your figure, tickling and teasing your awareness as he sinks deeper to finally bottom out.

The addictive moan that escapes you leaves him no choice but to refuse to kiss you further; he doesn’t want you to cover up the sounds of pleasure he’s bringing forth. Instead, he redirects his mouth to nibble along your exposed skin, planting one love bite after another along your neck until he reaches your collarbone.

His world stops spinning when you moan his name—so shamelessly, so heavenly—that he could ascend right in this moment. “S-Suguru!” you plea, so smoothly, he can’t help but thrust harder into you. Your fingers drag over the duvet while he pulls his heavy cock out of your fluttering walls only to push back in. You cry in pleasure, praises to his name spilling from your lips as his hips roll against you. His hands securely grip your shaking form, holding you perfectly in place for his own selfish desires.

Your soft moans mix with his rich ones, creating the most beautiful harmony as your bodies share the deepest connection possible. Warm palms glide over your figure to take a firm hold of the back of your thighs and press them flush into your chest. His entire weight squishes you further into the mattress and allows for a reach that appears incomprehensible. The sudden intensity seems too much to bear; it makes you painfully aware of just how deep he is inside you. His thighs slap against your hips at a rapid pace, each thrust jolting your body against the mattress as his cock repeatedly hits your cervix.

By surprise, you hear him suck in a sharp breath as he witnesses the state he’s left you in: fat tears staining your cheeks as the mix of pain and pleasure leaves you unable to form coherent thoughts. You’re so perfect, perfectly submissive and ruined for him to rebuild.

Now, you feel his love, the adoration pooling in his dark eyes as he can’t seem to look away. Eager to witness every second of your pleasure. “So perfect, such a good girl for me,” he praises, his lips caressing your forehead to calm you down, while he continues thrusting into you with the same strength, speed, and desire. “Let go for me, give into pleasure,” he encourages, the clamping of your walls a telltale of what impedes. 

You barely manage to nod in agreement, moans and hiccups making it impossible to form coherent thoughts while Suguru knocks the air from your lungs. You whimper against his sweaty skin, your breath tickling his neck while your nails claw into his back. “‘S too much,” is your final warning before your walls tighten perfectly around him, and the coil in your stomach finally snaps.

With all this newfound love, he can’t resist breaking his little rule. Suguru seeks out your lips, hurriedly placing his own over yours—surely not to drown yours, most likely to cover his own—as he almost immediately follows your orgasm with his own. He thrusts all the way in, coming deep inside your fluttering walls, which practically milk him dry.

His hand slides from your thigh to gently press against your stomach, accentuating where exactly his length resides and his cum lands, praying that your womb savours every drop of his seed to hopefully turn fruitful.

Your bodies are close enough for your heartbeats to thump against each other’s skin, pants and whimpers stifled by the shared kiss as you both come down from your highs. “Don’t ever dare to leave me.” The words are nothing but a whisper as his lips return to spoil your body with kisses, but the intensity behind them makes your heart stumble. The loneliness he must have repressed since his days at Jujutsu Tech have ended something you never once considered before.

But now you are here. Here to stay with him, to be his family, his weakness and strength all at once and forever. He broke you just to hold you. Now let him make it up, forever.

dividers by @/cafekitsune

[sufficientlylargen]

Corrections

We here at Sufficiently Large Ndustries pride ourselves on our unwavering commitment to factual accuracy in all things.

Recently, it has come to our attention that certain details of this post, hereinafter referred to as the "Fuck Yeah Stick-Elf" post, or FYSE, seem to contradict the canon established by internationally-known author Jonald Ronald Rolkien Tolkien (h/t @elodieunderglass for explaining his full name).

Because of our unwavering commitment to factual accuracy in all things, we cannot possibly have made any mistakes, so we wish to issue several corrections to your understanding to demonstrate that we were correct all along:

Question: Don't the Gondorians call him Mithrandir?

Answer: Not all Gondorians.

Canonically, Tolkien notes that the people of Gondor use the Sindarin name Mithrandir (from mith "grey" and randir "random", hence "some random grey guy") for Olórin. However, Tolkien's references to this are always about Gondorian nobility or royalty, who did indeed call Stick-Elf Mithrandir. This is because they were kind of pretentious, like native English speakers who insist on correcting anyone who doesn't pronounce "Paris" as "pair-REE".

When six-year-old Faramir had nightmares and ran to his father calling out "I'm scared!", Denethor would correct him, saying "No, you feel echais", because he was a dick. Part of the reason why Gondor lost a lot of its ancient glory is because it had centuries of leaders who were like this.

The average Joeromir Schmoeromir on the streets of Gondor, however, just called him Stick-Elf.

Question: If this is set in the past and Éodan is from Rohan, how could Gondor have a king?

Answer: It's not that king.

Suzannethor (the Archivist) mentions that Stick-Elf brought fireworks for the king's birthday, but Gondor's last king, King Eänur, died in T.A. 2050, almost five centuries before Rohan was founded in T.A. 2510 (special thanks to @thinkinginquenya for pointing out this discrepancy).

The answer is that FYSE is set in T.A. 2703, well after Rohan's founding; When the characters refer to "the king", they're not referring to royalty, but rather to the famous Númenórean musician Aarondil Préslion, often called "The King of Chant and Lyre" or just "The King" for short.

At this point there weren't many Men with enough Númenórean blood to have the sort of longevity that Aarondil had, leading to rumors that he was secretly an elf, hence his stage name, Elvish Présli.

Some of his most famous songs, like "Jailhouse Dirge" and "You Ain't Nothin' But a Warg Dog" are still popular today. Olórin was particularly fond of "Blue Steel Shoes", a lively jig about plate mail maintenance, and this is why he brought fireworks to Présli's 90th birthday party.

Question: Why does Elrond say "here in the North" in Gondor?

Answer: Elrond is a very sleepy boi.

In FYSE, Elrond says "Here in the North", even though generally most surviving texts of Middle-Earth are Gondo-centric and use "The North" to refer to lands north of Gondor, like Arnor/Eriador or the Forodwaith.

However, Jenniforomir just woke Elrond up from a nap (she didn't realize this because elves sleep with their eyes open), and he's still slightly disoriented. He says "Here in the North" because he was dreaming about a pub he visited once in Annúminas (and he is slightly shaken because in the dream he had forgotten to wear clothes, he had an exam coming up that he hadn't known about, and very tiny orcs were juggling silmarils all over the place).

Question: Why would Elrond out Olórin as a Maiar?

Answer: He was already out.

Tolkien didn't mention this in the books, but Olórin travels around on horse with several Maiar Pride bumper stickers, including a plain Maiar pride flag, one that reads "Maiar tested, Valar approved", and one that reads "Maiarn't there a lot of us!". Elrond knows this, and so has no compunction telling random Gondorians that Olórin is a Maiar.

We hope that these clarifications will reassure you that we here at Sufficiently Large Ndustries have never said anything false, ever, in all directions and at all times.

[minswriting]

phone sex - spencer reid x reader

warnings: nsfw content, mdni, masturbation (m & f)

you must only be 18 or older when interacting with my content.

when a case had arrived as soon as the bau had arrived back to quantico from another case, spencer couldn’t help but feel frustrated. don’t get him wrong, he loves what he does. but after already being gone for a week in new york and then immediately having to go to nevada most definitely takes a toll on him. the poor genius just wanted nothing more than to go home and see you. he was exhausted, mentally drained, and honestly very needy for you.

so now, sat in his hotel room after another very long day on the case, spencer finally had the time to call you. it took a few rings before you finally answered the phone. “hello?” came the soft tone of your voice, though it sounded a bit breathless.

“hey,” spencer said into the receiver, smiling to himself at the mere thought of speaking to you. “how are you doing?”

“mm,” you replied. “i’m doing pretty well. though i’m missing you,” you said softly, still sounding a bit breathless.

spencer caught onto your breathlessness. “did i catch you at a bad time?” he asked with concern in his voice.

you let out a small chuckle. “i think you caught me at a wonderful time,” you said, sighing. “was thinking about you,” your voice dropped to a sultry sort of tone. “how are you?”

spencer’s eyes widened as he realized what you meant. he had called you while you were masturbating to the thought of him. he let out a shaky breath, feeling his cock hardening in his pants. “i-i’m okay,” he stuttered, licking his lips. “it’s been a rough week. i wish i was there with you,” he said, sighing as he undid the buckle of his pants.

“i wish you were here too,” you said. the sound of rustling came over the receiver as spencer listened to you. “i need you, spence,” you murmured over the phone.

“yeah?” spencer asked, lowering his pants before palming himself through his boxers. “need me how?”

you let out a small gasp, a sign that you were indeed touching yourself. “need to feel you,” your voice was shy and quiet as you spoke into the phone, almost nervous.

“tell me what you want,” spencer replied, still palming his hard cock. he swallowed, closing his eyes as he listened to you.

you let out a shaky breath. “i-i want your cock inside me,” you began to speak. “i want to be laying on my back with my legs on your shoulders as you fuck into me,” you explained, touching yourself as you thought about spencer.

spencer could hear the faint sound of your cunt as you fingered yourself. “you’re so wet,” he murmured over the phone, lowering his boxers to reveal his hard length. “can hear how wet you are through the phone.”

“i’m so wet, spence,” you moaned softly. “i want to feel your cock so deep inside of me as you pound into me all while you hold onto my thigh for support,” you continued to speak.

spencer gripped his length, thumbing the tip of his cock. “fuck, baby,” he hissed, gripping himself completely and pumping his hand slowly. “i want to fuck you so badly, princess,” he sighed.

“mm,” you moaned, fingering your cunt. “and eventually, we would change positions and i would be on top of you,” you said, licking your lips. “and i would start bouncing on your cock as it hits that special spot inside of me, making me feel oh-so-good,” you let out another moan.

spencer moaned as well, gaining rhythm with his cock as he jerked himself off. “i bet you feel so good right now,” he groaned, thinking about you riding his cock.

“god i need your cock so bad,” you whined, fucking yourself with your fingers faster. “need you to suck on my tits while i ride you,” you continued.

“oh fuck,” spencer moaned. “are you close, baby?” he asked.

“so close,” you moaned. “can i cum?”

spencer pumped himself faster, listening to the sounds of you masturbating. “of course, baby, of course,” he replied. “i’m so close too,” he moaned.

the both of you continued, listening to each other’s moans. spencer wanted nothing more than to just be at home with you, fucking your tight cunt. you were always so wet for him, so ready to take whatever he gave you. and the thought of cumming inside of you is what sent spencer over the edge. “oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fu-“ spencer moaned as his cock stiffened in his hand before releasing his cum onto himself, shooting his stomach and hand with his load.

on the phone came the loud whine of your voice as you came, moaning spencer’s name repeatedly. it was like a mantra, one that spencer could get lost in. and when spencer had finally calmed down, covered in his own cum, he breathed heavily. he listened to your breathing as well as you began to calm down. “i’m gonna fuck you so hard when i get home,” spencer said as he caught his breath.

“please do,” you replied. “i love you, spence,” you murmured.

spencer smiled to himself. “i love you too, y/n.”

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch. 24]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

chapter masterlist

Words: 6.8k 🌶️

ao3 link

It is by some birthday miracle Minnie has yet to run out of energy.

Usually, once she has her bath and changes into her pajamas, she starts to wind down, but today is a special, exciting day, so she just keeps on going. 

It probably does not help that as part of her massive birthday haul, she got a new onesie pajama that makes her look like an oversized mouse - including big ears and a long tail. As soon as you finished zipping her in and pulled the hood up, your daughter went absolutely feral. She started scampering around on all fours - pretending she was indeed her namesake.

That was ten minutes ago, and you don’t think she’ll stop anytime soon. Especially not with Matt encouraging her. 

You watch from your spot on the couch as Minnie scurries over to the dining table, crawling under one of the chairs to hide. In the kitchen, Matt is dramatically pretending to look around while he holds up the butterfly net that came with a toy bug hunting kit. 

“Here, mousey, mousey, mousey,” he calls out in a low voice, which only serves to send Minnie into a fit of giggles. “Here, mousey, mousey, mousey.”

You, of course, play along and muse out, “I don’t know Mister Exterminator, this mouse may be too smart. I don’t know if you’ll be able to catch her.”

“You’re right,” he says, straightening up and he turns to face you. He rests the net on his shoulder, then taps at his chin with the index finger of his opposite hand, “I think we are going to have to set a trap.”

“A trap?” you question. You appear to keep your full attention on Matt, but in reality, you are sneaking a picture. Mouse is crouched in her hiding spot, hands covering her mouth. It takes everything in you to not start laughing.

“A trap, my Queen. We’re going to need some cheese, a stick, and a bucket.”

“I’m bigger than a bucket!” Minnie suddenly protests before realizing she’s given away where she is and clamps her hands back over her mouth. Matt whips around and starts towards her, raising his net with a mock menace.

“Gotcha!”

Minnie tries to dash towards you and the couch, but Matt, gently and with amazing precision, brings the net down on her head. Your little one instantly collapses to the floor like she has no bones. She reaches towards you, and with a performance worthy of an Oscar, declares, “Tell Scooby I loves him!” before falling over. 

You do your part by gasping as Matt scoops up her limp little body. He brings her over to you, presenting her with a slight kneel, “The Mouse Princess has been slain, my Queen.”

Minnie is trying her best to keep her eyes squeezed shut and suppress her giggles, so to make it even harder, you take on a blasé attitude, “Oh, how very sad. Now she can’t come to the super-secret dance party.”

Little eyes pop open and Matt sets her on her feet as she squirms back to life, “I wanna go to the super...super secret dance party!”

The Dance Party is your scheme to get the last of Minnie’s energy out. You do not want her to stay up too late past her bedtime, or she is going to be grumpy tomorrow. No one wants a grumpy toddler at the zoo. 

“You want to go to the super secret dance party?” Matt confirms, a large grin starting to form on his lips, and Minnie nods so hard her eared hood falls off. 

You go to fix it, fluffing the ears so they properly stand up, “What song should we play first, Mouse Princess?”

This is a hard decision, and as she thinks over her options, Mouse sticks her fingers into her mouth. This is a behavior you are beginning to think you should address, but you want to do more research and consult with Matt as well. You have been wondering if it helps her focus - her own way of limiting out the various inputs she must be constantly receiving. You think that maybe having her hand in her mouth helps to mask other smells, because you have noticed she doesn’t actually suck on them - they just are inserted - and it's something she does when she’s thinking.

Or it may be that she's a toddler and likes the taste of her fingers and you are once again overthinking everything. 

“R-B-S-T!” Minnie finally declares, throwing her hands up in the air. Matt looks absolutely baffled by the decision, but luckily, you speak Minnie, and know exactly what she wants. You grab your phone, open up your music app, and go to your daughter’s playlist to select the requested song. 

You get up as Aretha Franklin begins on the speakers.

This is one of Minnie’s favorite songs to sing and dance to, and yours as well. You have listened to it so many times you almost have little routine together. You begin to shimmy your shoulders at your daughter as she does the same to you, leaning forward and singing in sync.

“What you want. Baby, I got it! What you need, you know I got it!”

Matt lights up and it takes him less than a beat to jump into bopping along. It is one of those songs you think everyone knows the lyrics to, so you aren’t surprised when he joins in singing at Minnie. You quickly become a dancing circle, grooving together. Minnie stumbles over some words but her toddler heart is completely in it. She belts out the song, the biggest smile on her face as you mime some of what is being said.  

You continue to dance as the song changes to one that filled your childhood. You carefully curated the playlist to be free of any Disney Sing-a-longs or other toddler centric jams - these are strictly songs you actually enjoy that are safe for Minnie to listen to. You picked one-hit wonders and things that tend to fill the radio airwaves on a Friday night. 

The song is popular enough that Matt seems to know some of the words - or he is shamelessly making them up. You aren’t going to fact check him. You are too caught up in watching him dance - he’s completely thrown himself into it. He even has a little bounce in his step. 

His t-shirt is tight around his chest and when he raises his arms, his shirt rides up, showing off a belt of skin above his pajama pants. You can see the band of his boxers - a brand you aren’t aware of - and it makes your skin warm. You know you should not stare, but it is hard not to.

Especially when he does a spin.

Your eyes drop down to his behind and you feel like an absolute pervert ogling him. How does he manage to choose clothes that emphasize how wonderfully fit he is while still looking so casual? 

You tear yourself away from his perfect physique and try to enjoy the playtime with your daughter. You need to wear her out, which means you need to be more enthusiastic with your dancing.

You have found a strange upside to Matt being Blind and that is you are more comfortable acting a bit of a fool around him. He isn’t going to stop and stare at you for doing something silly for Minnie and the idea that he can’t perceive you in that way is doing wonders for your anxiety. You are very much aware that he knows what you are doing because of those amazing senses of his but you don’t feel judged in the way you do if you know someone is seeing you. It is probably Ableist in some way, but you like being able to relax more around him. 

You don’t need to hide who you are or pretend to be someone you are not. 

You begin to move your hips, swirling them as you throw your hands up into the air. You get a full body motion going, quickly adding in a few twirls. 

Mouse is quick to copy you, arms up, spinning, and rocking side to side. You slowly add in some arm pumps to get her little muscles really going. Matt seems to catch on to what you are trying to do, as he starts to add in some leg kicks to his dances, which Minnie instantly incorporates into her movements. Soon enough, she looks like she’s either in a mini mosh pit or - since she’s in a mouse costume - she’s a tiny kaiju trying to ravage an invisible town. 

You go through two more pop chart toppers before Minnie shows any signs of slowing down. As soon as you sense that her enthusiasm is dipping, you move onto step two of your devious plan.

“Do you want to dance with Daddy?”

The answer is obviously a yes. 

The Mouse Princess gets scooped up and set on Matt’s hip and he takes one of her small hands in his so he can guide her around in a dance. You let them have one bopping dance, where it is all energy and Minnie shimming like crazy before you sneakily switch the playlist. 

The next song has a beat to dance to, but it is nothing like the previous ones. Matt gradually slows so he is rocking in place, pretending to slow dance with his daughter. 

You stop at that point and stay on your phone, holding it up to record him mouthing the words to ‘Fly Me To The Moon’ while Minnie slowly starts to sink against his shoulder. You can’t help but sway to the music, a soft smile spreading across your face. 

You never thought you would get this - not just seeing Minnie’s father being so absolutely sweet with her, but having a family where these sorts of moments can happen. You didn’t think this was the type of life you would get to live. 

Instead of indifference, you are surrounded by love. It may not be love for you, but you get to soak it all in and enjoy how your daughter is absolutely spoiled. Matt is so clearly head over heels for her, wrapped around her little finger more than you are, and it seems like he is dragging his entire network along with him. 

His friends went hog wild in terms of getting gifts for your little toddler. Not only did Foggy give her the pogo stick, but she got all sorts of stickers from him and coloring books - and his Mom - who you really need to meet at this point - sent home baked cookies and Scooby Doo themed puzzles. Karen was not to be outdone, though, as she and Frank went the doll route. They entered your apartment with a two-story wooden Victorian style dollhouse that the Punisher apparently refurbished. They had full Princess themed furnishing to go with it and you can only imagine that poor Karen is going to be getting doll ads for months.

Sister Maggie sent along more practical things - some learning to read books. To your great surprise, all of the simple stories come with print lettering and Braille, and Minnie now also has a big letter board that has the same. You want her to learn the language and now she and Matt can read bedtime stories together. 

You still have trouble comprehending that all these people are in your daughter’s life now. It so effortlessly went from being just the two of you to an extended Family. 

And even Minnie is understanding that. 

While Foggy is Froggy and Sister Maggie is Daddy’s Mommy, Miss Karen has been officially upgraded to Auntie Karen. You do not know what triggered the change in title, but she was lording it over Foggy and Frank like it was a status symbol. 

You have promised to take so many pictures to send to them while you are at the zoo and the sheer idea that other people want the photos makes you giddy. You know you are going to end up printing some out to frame. You want to send something to Sister Maggie and you just know Matt will want one - or fifteen - for his desk. 

You are dragged from your thoughts when Minnie finally, finally yawns. 

You stop the music before it can go onto the next crooner and step towards your favorite pair, “Are you getting sleepy, baby?”

She nods against Matt’s shoulder before turning her head so she can use him as a pillow.

“Okay, let's get you into bed,” you coo. Luckily, she does not protest - she is completely petered out and you are not sure if she’ll even make it to the bed before she's in a deep sleep. 

The Dance Party was a complete success, and you decide it will be something to keep in your back pocket when Mouse is too active at night.

You follow Matt as he carries Minnie to the bedroom. He is still just barely swaying her in his arms still, tempting her closer and closer to Dreamland. 

You slip around him to get into the room first so you can make sure the sheets and covers are turned down. As the dead weight that is your daughter is slipped into bed, you turn on the air conditioner, so the room gets nice and cold. By the time you get back to Mouse’s side, Matt has gotten her sleep headband on and secured, and you can't tell if she's awake or not.

Apparently, she is still somewhat conscious, because Matt asks in the softest and sweetest voice, “Did you have a good birthday, my love?”

Minnie’s lips barely move as she mumbles out an, “uh-huh.”

“I'm glad. Mommy and Daddy love you very much. Sweet dreams, my little angel.”

He gives her a kiss to the cheek, then steps aside so that you can do the same. As you pull back, she weakly smacks her lips together and breathes out, “Luff.”

Your heart grows three sizes, and you truly feel like the Grinch when you have to pull Matt from the room. You know, if he could, he would stand there all night, standing dutifully by her side as she slept.

But Mouse Princess Minnie needs her rest, and you need help cleaning up the aftermath of the party. 

The dining table is covered in various arts and crafts projects. Minnie had practically run a little sweat shop with how she had multiple adults sat and focused on painting and building things with popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners. Luckily, everything is dry now and can be moved. You have a scrapbook you are going to put some pieces in, and others are going to be hung up around the apartment. 

You want to keep everything Minnie makes - you have no relics from your childhood, and you don't want that for her. You want to sit down with her when she's an adult and laugh together about how cute she was. 

As you start to clear the table, Matt begins to walk around the room, picking up any lingering trash. You've been good at cleaning throughout the day and not letting things sit, but you still had things like empty birthday bags and toy boxes out. You can see him snapping out of the corner of your eyes as he gathers things, and it makes you smile. You are always fascinated about how he navigates the world and using echolocation to clean isn’t something you would have thought possible.

“I didn't picture you as the dancing type,” he teases across the room as you sort arts and crafts.

“Oh, I am not,” is your instant reply and you can’t help but screw up your face at the idea of you being a dancer.

“Really? You seemed to know what you were doing.”

“Definitely not,” you insist. You feel yourself start to flush as Matt chuckles behind you.

“I think you are selling yourself short. I bet there were more eyes on you than you realized when you went dancing.” You know he is being sweet and trying to boost your ego, but you’ve never been out dancing. You didn’t even go to your prom. In fact, the last time you danced with someone who wasn’t Minnie was in middle school, at one of the in-school dance events.

That isn’t something you really want to admit, so you go with, “I don’t really go out dancing.” 

He gives the faintest of sighs from the living room, so you decide to try and humor him and add, “I don’t think I’d enjoy a club, but I always thought learning ballroom would be fun. Less people and..you know,” you motion up and for some reason twirl your hand, “less bass.”

“That does seem more your style,” he replies, and you heat up even more. You know he can’t see you, but you duck your head to try and hide how you must be blushing.

As always, when you feel yourself start to get flustered, your brain takes a backseat to your mouth. You muse out, “I always wanted to learn to slow dance.”

You instantly start to mentally berate yourself. You sound like a complete idiot - as far as you know there is no method to slow dancing beyond swaying. You equate things like waltzing and other partner dances with slow dancing - even though the terminology isn’t right.

“You’ve never slow danced?” 

He sounds surprised and you want to smother yourself with the artwork in your hands. You are digging a hole of pathetic-ness and you need to abandon this topic of conversation before Matt realizes how lame you truly are. To do this, you tell him, “I told you I’m not the dancing type.” 

Matt doesn’t respond, so you think you are in the clear. You don’t dare look over at him, instead keeping your focus on Minnie’s painting of Max you’ve just picked up. Her drawings are getting more and more defined - you can actually tell this is meant to be a dog as opposed to her usual circle-based creatures. You are so proud of her, and you can’t wait until she’s more comfortable with writing. You think her toddler handwriting is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

“Siri,” Matt suddenly says from right behind you, making you start with fright and drop the painting back to the table, “play ‘At Last’ by Etta James.”

You whirl around to find Matt impossibly close, holding his phone up to speak into it. You quickly start to shake your head, just barely chanting, “no, no, no, no,” at him.

“Getting that from your Music Playlist,” the phone traitorously replies before the song starts to play.  Matt reaches past you to set his phone down on the table, then that same hand goes to your waist.

You try to protest by saying his name, but he cuts you off, “Humor me.”

Your anxiety can’t fight that as much as you want to, so you very reluctantly let him pull you away from the table and towards the emptier area of the kitchen. You cannot look at him as he guides you into position - you can only stare at your feet and pray for the internet to cut out and turn off the music. 

But of course, that doesn’t happen. 

Matt slowly begins to sway, and you force yourself to awkwardly follow along. He must know how uncomfortable you are, as the thumb that is on your hip starts to rub in slow circles and he starts talking in a soft voice, “they never played a lot of music at St. Agnes’, but Father Lantom used to have a radio in his office. He’d have it going after hours, when he was doing paperwork or working on sermons. I would focus on it to help me sleep - they’d always play the same things over and over and it became like white noise to help dampen everything else. He used to hum along with this one.”

Your eyes flutter shut as you listen to him and not the lyrics to the song. You don’t think you’ve heard him refer to this person before, but you are guessing this is the man who ran the Church Matt grew up in. 

“It’s a good song,” you mumble, trying your best to engage with him instead of being overwhelmed. 

“It is,” he agrees. He steps a breath closer to you then oh so gently, just barely touches his forehead to yours. All of your embarrassment evaporates, and you are very hyper aware of everywhere you and Matt are touching. Your throat tightens a fraction, and your heart begins to pound so loudly it drowns out the music. 

You want to apologize because you know Matt must be able to hear your heart becoming a drum and it must be annoying, but all you can do is sway in his arms. 

You feel his breath on your cheek when he asks in a whisper, “is this okay?” and you can’t do anything more than get your head to nod up and down once. His response, for some unknown reason, is to give a pleased hum. The noise is like lightning down your spine, making you shiver against him and instead of letting you go like you would expect, he becomes even closer. 

Your reaction is to curl your fingers tighter around him and you don’t understand why. Part of you wants to run and hide under your covers and never speak of this moment again, but another wants to stay like this forever, because despite your panic, isn’t this what you’ve always wanted?

To be held?

Even if it is a ruse. 

Matt is taking pity on you and dancing with you as a bit of a tease, but he’s not being cruel. You told him you don’t dance, so of course he wants to dance. You’ve seen the interaction in film and television plenty of times - Matt is a good man and wants you to have fun.

And you are, aren’t you? 

You’re having fun.

You had a wonderful day filled with laughter and joy, and now it is ending in a sweet moment. 

You can let yourself enjoy this. 

Matt breathes your name against your cheek and the lightning feeling is back, “you’re overthinking again.”

“I’m trying not to,” you promise him, because you truly are trying to tamper down your thoughts. It is just hard not to when your mind won’t stop spinning. 

“Do you want this?” he asks after a moment and you have no idea what he means, but honestly it doesn’t matter. Every fiber of your being screams the same thing as soon as the words leave him.

“Yes.”

The world comes to a sudden halt as Matthew Murdock’s lips press against yours. 

They are soft and warm and as sweet as you remember them being. They are hesitant, almost delicate, as they move against yours. A gentle hand comes up and cups your cheek and it snaps you back into reality. 

The dam inside you breaks and you do not think - you only act.

Your hands launch up to tangle into his short hair and you kiss Matt back with a hunger you did not know you had.

His reaction is instantaneous - within a moment you are backed against a countertop, and he is practically devouring you. He is groaning low in his throat, sounding almost animalistic, and the hand that was on your hip is now on the small on your back, keeping you pressed firmly against him. Gone is the sweet, innocent moment - you need him in a biblical way, and you think he feels the same. 

To your own surprise, it is you who pushes things further, biting at his lower lip. He opens himself easily for you and you reward this by licking into his mouth. 

He may have you pinned to the counter, but you do not feel trapped. You know if you showed any doubt about what was happening or indicated you wanted to stop - consciously or unconsciously - Matt would be across the room in a second. 

You don’t need to be scared with him - you know that now - and that only fuels your fire.

You need to be touched.

You need to be held. 

You need Matt to fuck you stupid.

And by the bulge starting to press into your hip, you think he is more than happy to do just that. 

Matt breaks the kiss, only to move his mouth down to your neck. He drags his tongue and teeth over the sensitive skin there causing obscene little noises to come out of you.

“Sound so good,” he growls into your throat and all sorts of heady reactions course through you. “Smell so fucking good. Drives me crazy.” He emphasizes his point by burying his nose into your pulse point before biting down. Your cunt clenches around nothing and you whimper out his name, but he isn’t done with his praise yet, continuing on between lapping at your skin, “Sit there so innocent and sweet, not knowing I want to bury my face between your legs. Can’t think when you get all flustered. Want my tongue on you at all times.”

His words wash over you, but you can’t contextualize what he is Actually saying. All you can hear is his current need and desire and you want his tongue on you as well. You know how well he can use it and your body craves him.

You don’t know how to tell him what you want beyond hiking your leg up to wrap around him and pressing your hips forward with a needy, “Please, Matt.”

It seems that is all he needs you to say. 

Like you weigh nothing, he lifts you up and sets you on the counter. You lean back to push your sleeping shorts and panties down and he is there to help, practically tearing them off your legs and sending them across the kitchen. As soon as that barrier is gone, Matt wastes not one second - he drops to his knees between your legs and drags you forward by your hips, throwing your thighs over his shoulders. 

Any shame you may have is gone the moment he drags his nose from the bottom of your cunt up to your clit and only then do you realize how absolutely soaked you are. 

He starts to mumble something under his breath, but you can’t hear him over how heavy you are breathing. The hot puffs of air against you are the worst type of tease and already making your muscles quake. To keep yourself from slipping, you place one hand on the counter, then use the other to grab onto Matt’s hair. You must grab too hard as he shudders under your fingers, but he keeps up his soft words.

He’s so close and you haven’t been touched in so so long that you cannot take this. 

“Matt, please,” you beg and again he shakes under your hand. 

“Amen,” you just barely hear before his voice raises just enough to be actually audible, “Don’t worry, my darling, I’ll take care of you, now.”

You nearly lose it when he finally puts his mouth on you. You are already worked up and so sensitive, that a few flicks of his tongue has you mewling. That only serves to encourage him, and he buries himself deeper into your core, moaning shamelessly like he is the one being pleasured. You grip tightly onto his hair to try to keep some composure, but you are already right on the edge. 

Your hips start to twitch, and your abdomen starts to tighten before you realize it. Your head rolls back as you start to chant Matt’s name in a pant, begging him to chase your incoming orgasm. 

He, of course, happily obeys. 

It is not mind shattering, but it has you rocking forward to curl around Matt’s head, your other hand coming around to claw at his shoulders as you come. He keeps his tongue working until your thighs stop quaking, then he pulls back. He grins up at you like he’s a kid in the lewdest candy store - his mouth and chin and glistening with your juices and it’s clear he couldn’t be prouder of himself.

“One,” he purrs out and you start to laugh a little from how cute he is in your giddy state. You remember in your night together all those years ago, he had also counted your orgasms. It didn’t come off as smug then and it definitely doesn’t now.

He effortlessly raises up to his feet and you let your legs fall from his shoulders to wrap around his waist instead. His hands glide down from your hips to your thighs before he tugs you forward so he's holding you up. He slowly starts to back away from the kitchen and you secure your hold on his shoulders, so you don’t slip as he carries you.

You can’t help but lean forward and kiss him. Your slick tastes tart on his lips, but you don’t care - especially when you can feel him melting into your touch. You keep things slow and languid as he brings you to the couch. You pull away as he gently lays you down, but not fully. Your hands drop to his stomach, and you tug at his shirt, “Off.”

“Yes, My Queen.”

He fluidly pulls it off before crawling over you and boxing your head in with his large arms. You loop yours around his neck again as he dips to kiss you again. 

The feral need inside of you has been temporarily satiated, so you can enjoy this slower exploration. Your hands smooth over his neck and back and you cannot believe how muscular he is. His suits do a good job to keep him looking lean so that you often forget how much raw power he holds. You feel like you could get lost in just touching him - tracing along his skin to feel each little freckle and scar. 

It seems like he could do the same for you. While keeping one arm down to keep himself held up over you, the other makes its way between you. His hand pushes up under your oversized t-shirt and up to your ribs. You aren’t very ticklish, but you still shudder and arch at his touch. He easily finds your breast and massages it a few times before pinching at your nipple. 

You gasp into his mouth, and as he begins to tweak and play with it, you have to turn your head away because you can’t keep up with his kissing.

“So sensitive,” he teases in a whisper. He nips at your ear before starting to make his way down your neck again. 

“Feels good,” you reply, trying to not whine, but you are pretty sure you fail. 

Matt hums in response before scooting down your body. You hook your legs around his waist as he pushes your shirt up to reveal your breasts, then watch as he bends to take one in his mouth. You close your eyes as he begins to suckle and pleasure washes through you. 

You bring a hand up to scratch lightly at the base of his skull as he starts to worship your chest. He is sure to make sure your other nipple isn’t neglected, pinching and flicking at it in time with his tongue. It doesn’t take long for your core to start pulsing and gushing again, but Matt stays focused on his task. He starts to alternate which breast gets the attention of his mouth versus his hand and soon enough you are thinking you can cum again just from this. 

You start to squirm and pant under him, but it is when you rock your hips into him that he changes course. 

You feel him move and adjust, but you don’t know how, as he never neglects you for a second. Once he is how he needs to be, the hand not already preoccupied slips between the two of you. He runs one finger over your slit, pushing between your labia to coat himself in you. You can’t help but moan at the teasing. 

But he doesn’t do it long - as soon as he’s slick, he pushes into you. 

His finger is thick, and the stretch feels perfect - it isn’t too much, but a little more might be too uncomfortable. He starts to pump his finger in time with his tongue and all you can do is lay there and take it. You are on the edge of being overwhelmed, but right in the state of bliss.

Praise starts to tumble from your mouth this time, as you keep up scratching at his neck and shoulders. 

“Feels so good. Already so close. Please, Matt. Need you.” 

Before you even realize you are ready for it, he pushes a second finger into you, and you are nearly seeing stars. You know his cock is big and you need the stretching, especially after so long, but part of you just wants him in you now. He’s always so sweet and he’s not going to hurt you in that way, so you know he’s going to make sure you are ready before fucking you. 

But you are still going to be needy about it. 

You start to roll your hips, wanting more and more and more. It takes you a few tries to match his pace, but once you do, the buildup is quick. You can feel it in your thighs first, tingling and spasming as your release gets closer. 

Matt releases your nipple from his mouth long enough to encourage you, “Cum for me, darling. Cum on my fingers.” 

He crooks his fingers as he latches back onto you and you white out. You shake and curl as your orgasm rocks you and Matt doesn’t let up at all. His fingers pump and work your way through it until you cannot take any more stimulus and you have to try and crawl away. He takes pity on you and pulls back and slides his fingers out. 

They instantly go into his mouth, and he licks them clean in the most obscene way possible. You watch him through half lidded eyes, admiring everything about his physique. 

Only once he’s finished his task do you reach for him. Your fingers skate from his chest down his abs until you can grab his boxers and pajama pants. You tug them down enough to free his cock and it is a thing of beauty. It’s thick with a slight curve and one pulsing vein running along it. The head is swollen and red and leaking pre-cum like a faucet. You wrap your fingers around the base and slowly stroke up. Matt’s head rolls back, his lips parting just slightly, and he looks like he is in absolute heaven. 

“Didn’t get to taste you last time,” you tease, and you are practically salivating at the idea of having him in your mouth. You want to return all the pleasure he's given you. He needs to be the one to lay back and enjoy your mouth on him.

He groans before rolling forward, so he is hovering over you again. “There will be time for that later, can’t wait for you any longer,” he says in a low voice, and despite his eyes not functioning as they should, you can see the hunger in them. 

You more than understand that and lean up to meet him in a kiss. Your hand is still wrapped around him, so you give a few pumps to smear his pre-cum, and as you do, he quietly swears.

“I don’t have a condom.”

The words hit you hard and your eager and horny mind of course throws out the first thing you think, “You already got me pregnant once with one.”

Matt’s nose flares at that and his cock twitches hard in your hand. He swallows thickly before asking, “Are you clean?”

“I am,” you promise. “I haven’t been with anyone since you. Are you?” He gives a jerky nod and when he does, you rub your thumb over his head, teasing the slit, “then I’m okay without one.”

He surges forward to crash into your lips, and you release your hold on him so that he can position himself. You tangle your fingers into his hair again, and to test a little theory, tug at it. He all but moans into your mouth and you can’t help but ask, “Do you like that?” 

“Yes,” is his instant reply. It’s his turn to tease when he rubs his cock over your needy cunt. “Bite me, scratch me, do anything you want to me. I’m yours.”

Then he pushes into you and all the thoughts and ideas in your head turn to dust. 

Even stretched out, there is still a slight burn, but it feels so wonderful. He starts with slow, shallow thrusts until he is fully inside you, only to settle for a moment. He noses down to your ear and nips at your lobe. He repeats, “I’m yours,” in a low growl before pulling out of you and slamming back in.

The pace he sets isn’t brutal, but it's clear he’s as eager and wanting as you. You drag him back into a kiss, biting at his lips as he gives you exactly what you want - what you need. One hand goes to your throat, wrapping around it but not squeezing. You respond by digging your nails into his shoulder. He hisses into your mouth, but you can tell he likes it by how he reacts.

His other hand grabs you by the hip and tilts your pelvis up so he can drive himself deeper into you. You gasp at the sudden change - his cock is hitting the perfect spot and with each stroke, you feel like you are going to lose your mind and Matt seems to know that. He begins to pepper bites and kisses along your shoulder, sending shocks of pleasure to your core with each one. 

Your anxiety is nowhere to be found, so there is nothing to hold you back from clawing at his shoulders and tugging at his hair. You guide him back to your neck, where his bites feel the best, and give breathy pleas. He digs his teeth into you as your third orgasm starts to build. 

The arm around his shoulder drops to the couch and you reach for the hand that is holding him up. He allows you to tangle your fingers together and you squeeze his hand as you clench your cunt around him. 

“I’m close,” you whimper, just as he starts to lap at your neck.

“Me too,” he pants in reply, “needed you so badly. Need you so badly.” He turns his head to press it hard against your shoulder, and asks the most ridiculous question you’ve ever heard, “do you want me to pull out?”

You shift so you can hook your leg around his waist and dig your heel into the small of his back in response while also tugging hard at his hair. 

“Fuck,” he moans into you, instantly starting to pick up his pace to the point the couch is starting to rock, “Yes, I won’t. Fuck.” He starts to chant your name in between swears and you try to use the leverage of your leg to rock your hips to meet his thrusts. 

You bite into his shoulder, so you do not cry out as your orgasm takes you by force. It feels like every muscle in your body tenses up and your hips twitch violently and euphoria rushes through you. Matt’s hips sputter once before he buries himself in you. 

You lose yourself for a few moments as you quite literally sink into bliss. Your leg relaxes around Matt, sliding down to keep around his thigh as you settle into the couch. He lets go of your hip to allow you to do that, but he follows you down, putting only some of his weight on you like a heavy, warm blanket. 

You lessen your grip on his hair so you can begin to give him light scritches and that makes him nuzzle into your neck with a pleased little noise. You return the noise, then use all the effort left in your body to turn your head to kiss his temple and squeeze his hand at the same time. 

“Stay like this,” you request. Your eyes are getting heavy, and you don’t fight to keep them open.

“Anything for you, My Queen,” he replies, sounding just as gone as you feel. You manage a chuckle and another kiss to his hairline.

“My sweet knight.”

You fall asleep under Matthew Murdock, your legs, hands, and hearts tangled together.  

---

a/n: :3C Next chapter is the zoo.

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[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Fourteen — Azriel x Reader

Summary: Reader is readying herself for the ball. Hot Daddy Fin™️ opens up to her a little and shares some worrying truths (and then some). Azriel and Reader reunite, body and soul.

Word Count: 8.2k

Warnings: Adult content, 18+, NSFW, minors dni.

Tried my best with this part but sorry if it's a bit iffy! This girlie is ill as FUCK. Still hope you enjoy, tho, loves!

“You know, I have to admit, I was dubious at first.”

Mor is knelt at your feet, and you think this might be the closest you ever come to having a goddess on her knees before you. A strange part of you wants her to snap out and sink her teeth into your thigh, leave a bright red mark on the skin — but alas, her attention is fully on the hem of your gown.

“My uncle, love him though I do, is a calculated bastard.” She pushes to her feet, straightening out the fabric. “But I think he actually enjoys your company.”

“He does.” Roza pitches in from her place on the couch. “I know Fin. Y/N has him eating out of the palm of her hand.”

Though she smiles, her tone is laced with clear concern. Not because she cares about Fin, but because she cares about you. Doesn’t want you to forget that this is the High Lord of the Night Court you’re meddling with.

“Males are vapid and predictable, every last one of them.” You shrug your tense shoulders. “Throw them a few pretty smiles and they’ll do anything for you.”

Mor steps back, a low whistle leaving her. “Forget the males. I’ll do anything for you.”

Her eyes rake over your gown. So do Roza’s. And you…you want to crawl out of your skin and hide.

You’ve never owned a beautiful gown like this, never been able to afford one. The couple of dresses you do keep amongst your clothes are plain ones that just about do for special occasions. What hangs off your body now is…a work of art.

Almost feels like sacrilege for the beautiful fabric to touch your marred skin.

It’s sheer, showing off more than you’ve ever before dared to, and yet there’s a modesty, an elegance, to the many whorls and swirls made up entirely of little blue jewels and pearls and beads. It gives the gown a weight that makes it cling to you, and it outlines a body that…that quite frankly, you’d never considered beautiful until this very moment.

A body that commands the garment, and not the other way round. That makes you feel like far more than just another mistreated, unfavoured Illyrian female that will one day be lost to history.

This gown makes you think: I do not need the wings I have spent my life longing for.

It makes you think: There is nothing more beautiful than a good spirit and soul, and I have both.

It makes you think: Never again will anyone — friend or family or foe — make you feel less than worthy. Less than deserving. Less than strong.

You have always had strength. And this dress somehow amplifies it. Will amplify it to a room full of people who will see, through that sheer fabric, your scars, your lack of wings, and they may pity you, or not pity you at all, or may even laugh.

But you will still be beautiful.

Movement has you realising that tears have blurred your eyes. You swipe them away, and Mor is smiling at you, and Roza looks like she’s a little choked up, too.

“You are so godsdamned gorgeous.” Mor says earnestly. “Every last inch of you.”

Indeed, you glance over your shoulder at the mirror behind you, your gaze immediately finding your scars sitting brutal and undeniable beneath the sheer fabric. You don’t hurriedly force your gaze away like you have done your whole life, don’t try to avoid them.

You just…look. Look at what has been a part of you for so long, now.

“…Mor?” Roza says quietly. “Can you…give Y/N and I a moment?”

“Of course.” Mor agrees. “Time for me to find a snack.”

The stunning blonde squeezes your hand as she strolls past, and as she leaves the room, the door is pulled shut behind her.

Roza rises from her seat, making her way over to you. And as she stops before you, her hands move up to cup your face.

“Did you know,” she murmurs, “that I’ve always thought you were one of the prettiest females in all of Windhaven?” A soft scoff leaves you, but before you can glance down, she’s holding your face firmly. “I mean that — even when Azriel brought you to the cottage that very first time, and you were covered in dirt and mud, your hair all knotted, a leaf or two in there — you thanked me for feeding you, and you gave me a smile that was just like…sunshine. Such a rare thing in Windhaven. I remember thinking, this girl deserves to smile like that, always.”

A single tear spills down your cheek, and Roza wipes it away. She definitely looks like she might start bawling, too — a rare thing for her.

“I know you were never given much of a chance to feel worthy.” She whispers. “Your mother abandoning you…your father taking your wings…they were the two people who were supposed to love you more than anyone, and they broke you and left you broken.”

“You put me back together.” A lump in your throat fractures your words. “You and Rhys and Azriel and Cassian. Your love—”

“My little dove, you put yourself back together. We just loved you through it. I just want you to know that…I just want you to remember, the next time you feel worthless, that you are beautiful, and you have always been beautiful. You’re strong, and spirited, and determined. You have a resolve like no other I have ever seen, and you can do anything — which is why I know you will achieve whatever it is you’re planning with Fin.”

Only then does your gaze drop. “I only wish to appeal myself to him enough that he’ll value my opinion — that this Fenlaros business cannot go ahead. But I still feel awful…he’s your mate.”

“Gods, in the loosest definition, Y/N.” Her hands move to yours, then, liking them together. “Believe me when I say that if it weren’t for my children, I’d never see that male again. I think you know that I do not hold him in high regard.”

“I do know. But I respect you and care about you more than anyone in the world. And if you feel even a shred of discomfort about what I’m doing, I’ll stop. I’ll find another way—”

“The only discomfort I feel,” she squeezes your hands gently, “is at the thought of any harm coming to you. But I’ll feel that way through everything you do in life, because I love you. I also feel awe, because you’re brave and brilliant, and you’re doing what’s right. What I will teach this little girl,” she places your hands on her swollen belly, “to do — to stand up against what is wrong, and do so without a lick of shame.”

“I’ll protect her with my life, you know — the babe. I’ll love her unconditionally.”

“And she will love you, my dove, just as I do. So,” she steps back, eyes your dress again. A smile curves her lips. “Do whatever it is you have to do, Y/N, to change Fin’s mind — you have my full support. I only ask three things of you.”

Your expression softens. Anything — you’d do anything for her. “Of course, Roz.”

“First, don’t get caught with your scheming.” She says. “And second — you may feel like murdering Fin. Gods, believe me, I get it. But please do refrain. He’s my children’s father, after all, and Rhys isn’t ready to be High Lord just yet.”

You breathe a laugh, dipping your chin. “No murder. Got it. And the third thing?”

Roza steps up to you, her fingers finding the beautiful, jewelled material that clings to you like a second skin. She smiles.

“Go to that ball,” her fierce eyes meet yours, “and show everybody there that your father didn’t take one bit of beauty away from you.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

You pace the length of your room. Back and forth, back and forth. You’re restless tonight.

Day after day is swept behind you like the snow that blankets the mountains. Time is a racing thing. Starfall is fast approaching, and thus, so is the ball. But you still feel as though you can’t get a good read on Fin’s thoughts.

No matter how many dinners you share with him, how many walks through the city streets you take together, the shows you watch in the Rainbow…he does not offer you the candidness with which he spoke through that very first conversation in his study. Any attempts to talk about Tathaln, about Fenlaros, are promptly diverted. He wants to talk about you — wants to know you.

It feels like the opportunity to stop this shit show in its tracks is slipping through your fingers, and you can’t grab hold of it, pull it back.

So instead of sleeping, you think, and you pace, and you—

Gods, you just want to see Azriel.

How much space, you wonder, is enough space? You have respected his needs, have kept to Velaris, given him time to confront his innermost thoughts and feelings. But you don’t know how long he needs, and right now…right now, all you want is to see him. Look into his eyes. Hear that soft, quiet voice telling you that everything will be okay.

You need to know if he’s made a decision about Fenlaros. You’ve tried not to think about it, not to dwell on the possibility that he could choose to run from his feelings over embracing them. But the longer the silence stretches on…the more you find that hole in your heart gaping, threatening to swallow you whole.

You pace more and more, up and down in time to the ticking of the clock. It’s a wonder you haven’t worn a track through the carpet. You don’t know why you’re suddenly so antsy, but perhaps if you could just talk to Az, some of your worries could be allayed—

Before your thoughts can catch up with your body, you’re tearing through the drawers in the desk, scrambling for paper, a pen. Practically throw yourself into the chair. A letter — a letter will do the trick—

But you don’t know what to write.

You stare at the blank parchment like the words will simply appear by your willing. They don’t.

A love letter? No, no, not a love letter. Just a letter to…to remind him that you are still here. That you are reason to stay in Windhaven, and you think you could be reason enough.

Azriel… you picture him as you crawl his name. His honey-golden eyes and his silken hair. The sharp bone structure that could slice through paper, the full lips. The memory of how those lips feel is fading, and you want — need — it back. Your pen pauses, hovers at the parchment, and those lips are all you can think of, the urgency with which you crave them.

Azriel, you write again, I want to see you. I need you, too—

A soft knock lands on the door, and the pen clatters against the desk where you drop it.

The clock has just timed three in the morning — the knock is an unexpected obtrusion in the dead of night. One that makes you anxious.

But a second knock comes, and you shove the parchment and pen back into the drawer, scrambling to your feet. Perhaps it’s Roza — the more the pregnancy progresses, it’s not unusual for her to wake up in the night with need for something. You hurry over and tug it open.

Fin stands on the other side, looking…unkempt. His hair is mussed, like he’s been dragging his fingers through it. The first few buttons on his shirt have been undone, and a glimpse of a fine, chiselled chest peeks out. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. He looks as though he hasn’t been to bed.

He drinks in the sight of you in your nightgown, bathed in the room’s glow. He swallows. “Forgive me, I…I saw your light on. Thought you might be having trouble sleeping again.”

You incline your head. “I was.” You admit. “…And you?”

“Too much in my head to even attempt it.”

You’re not sure what to reply with, how to help. Fin watches you closely like…like he needs to. Like gazing at you brings him comfort.

You are treading a very, very dangerous path. But you shift on your feet and ask him, “Would you like to come in?”

A tiny nudge of a smile pulls one side of his mouth up. “I was actually wondering if you’d allow me to take you somewhere.”

Your eyes widen a little. The surprise isn’t for show, and it seems to please him. “Right now?”

“The City of Starlight doesn’t sleep. Ever.”

A fact you’ve learned all too well during your stay here. There’s always some sort of activity, something going on that sends a constant pulsing through the city streets. For some reason, you hadn’t imagined Fin to be a participant in the night life.

“It’s somewhere I go when I can’t sleep.” He explains, as though you’ve spoken your thoughts loud and clear. “I think you’d like it. And from one insomniac to another, I…I would be honoured to share it with you.”

How can you possibly say no to that? For all Fin is mysterious, for all he keeps his cards tightly pressed against his chest, you truly believe that he finds a strange sort of solidarity in this one affliction that burdens you both. You may have wildly different reasons for pacing your room at night — and you’re not sure he’ll ever tell you his — but when the world is too quiet and thoughts are too loud…there’s comfort in knowing that somebody else is staring down those early hours, also.

It almost makes him seem…normal.

And perhaps that’s why you offer him a dazzling smile that isn’t entirely disingenuous. “From one insomniac to another,” you say, “I’d love to come with you.

The way his eyes light up makes you wonder if you’ve played your role, appealed yourself to him, a little too well. “Then I’ll wait here while you get dressed.”

You incline your head. “I’ll just be a moment.”

He waits patiently as you change from your nightgown into warm clothes that will shield you from the freezing night air. With no indication of where you might be going, a sweater and breeches and boots seems like the safest bet. You sweep your hair out of your face and shrug the weariness from your bones. When you emerge from the room, Fin’s gaze traces you like you’ve donned an evening gown and not the thickest layers you could fine.

“I find you so very intriguing.” He comments unexpectedly, and you’re not sure what he means.

You plaster a smile on your face, all the same. “Where are we going, Lord of the Night?”

Heat stokes his hickory eyes, and he looks as though he’s actually trying to tamp down on a broad smile. “It’s a surprise.”

You hold a hand out. He takes it. “Then surprise me.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

 “Tilt your head up.” The instruction comes from close behind you. Near enough that a warm breath tickles the back of your neck. You dutifully obey. “Now, open your eyes.”

Your eyelids flutter open slowly, cautiously. What you’re met with has your next breath catching in your throat.

A dome of starlight arcs high above you. The twinkling jewels in the sky feel almost close enough to reach out and touch, and they shine brilliantly through the glass roof, an occasional transient one cartwheeling its way past in pursuit of another place.

You can only stare. Gape. Your feet move forward a couple of steps, but your face remains tilted upwards.

You were in this building only a couple of evenings before, but it had been so packed, then, so filled with music and chatter and laughter and activity, that you hadn’t noticed what sat above your head. You’d been far too enamoured with the performers, their poetic verses and fluid dances, the tragic climax that had brought you to tears.

Now, the largest theatre in Velaris’s rainbow is empty and bathed in darkness, broken only by silvery moonlight. You and Fin are the only two here. And standing on the gargantuan stage, a mass of empty, folded seats staring back at you, you have the perfect view of the night sky that gives a performance all of its own above you.

There are soft footsteps, and Fin is also stepping forward, stopping at your side. “In over nine centuries, I’ve never tired of that sight,”

You shake your head, a little dazed. You’re lost for words. “I can see why.”

“There is so much unexpected, so much chaos and burden, in being High Lord. But no matter what I may face, what choices I make, and what reactions they receive…there will always be the night sky and its stars.”

Only then do you remove your gaze from the domed glass ceiling — to drink him in and wonder how many layers deep his true heart lies. This male who is as cunning and cruel as he is handsome and charming. How many dimensions does he have that you’ve never stopped to consider?

“I know it doesn’t exactly support the imagine of a calculated High Lord who shouldn’t be crossed.” Fin says, staring had at the surface of the stage whilst a wry smile graces his lips. “Sneaking off to an empty theatre in the dead of night when sleep evades me. But I find…peace here.”

You eye the ginormous building around you, dipped in shimmering moonlight and the shadows of twinkling stars. All those empty seats, the vacant orchestra pit, the stage that has trapped so many beautiful voices and words, guided so many dances and echoed so much beautiful music. There’s a haunting loneliness to the desolation. And you can’t help wondering if…if Fin relates to that, somehow.

When you snap out of your thoughts, you find he’s moved again. Now, he sits on the very edge of the stage, legs hanging down and palms bracing him. He stares out at the rows and rows of red velvet seats, not one of them disturbed by a spectator.

You’re moving before you tell yourself to. Sitting at his side and tucking your legs beneath you. You spend a short time in still silence, but the heaviness of the High Lord’s thoughts seems to spread to every corner of the building.

“When you brought me here the other night,” you angle yourself towards him, “it was my first time in a theatre — ever. I never saw a show before.”

A very slight frown pinches Fin’s features.  He seems to consider that. “One of my flaws, Y/N, I have to admit, is that I often forget that there’s a world outside of my privilege. That people lack where I never will.” He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth. “Roza was right to take Rhysand to Windhaven. He’s grown with a humility that I very much do not have.”

You snort softly. “I spend a lot of time with your son, My Lord. I assure you he’s just as capable of arrogance. I’ve kicked his ass a good few times because of it.”

A quiet laugh rasps from him. “Somehow, I don’t doubt that.” He pauses, and then his elbow is gently nudging you. “I told you, anyway — it’s Fin. I consider us to be friends. Don’t you?”

In some ways, you really do. Ans what a lying, using, devious little friend you are.

Especially as you scoot closer to him. And you’re softening your features and staring openly at him.

You don’t miss the way his gaze falls to your lips.

“I do.” You say, and he lifts his eyes to yours again. “And as your friend, I’d like to know what weighs so heavily on your mind tonight.”

His mile falters. And you don’t want to lose him, to let the moment slip away from you. You quickly grab his hand before he can tense up.

“I want you to talk to me…” You make your voice soft as butter, sweet as honey. “I like talking to you, Fin.”

There’s a beat. A tense one. And then his body is loosening, relaxing, his eyes becoming infinitely warmer.

His hand wraps around yours, the pad of his thumb tracing your nail. “I like talking to you, too.” He admits, and pauses again. “…War is…a great likelihood, Y/N.”

It’s your turn to go still, then, to tense up. Icy cold surprise bolts through you. That…isn’t what you were expecting.

“War?” You breathe, your mind already conjuring images of your friends on a battlefield. “With whom? When?”

“I do not know when. It could be in a year’s time; it could be in a decade. That all depends on how long it takes for humans to rise up and rally against our kind.”

“Humans?”

“There has been more and more pushback, in recent years, from humans. Humans who are enslaved by our kind and are sick of it. More and more of them are beginning to stand up against it, to protest how they’re forced to live. They’re willing to go to war over it. I don’t know when or where, but they will. In years to come, they will.”

“As they should.” You sit up straight. Perhaps it’s the wrong thing to say, but you don’t care. “They should revolt. I think it’s barbarous, the way our kind treat them. Their purpose is not to serve us. They have just as much right to live freely as we do.”

You mean it, mean it with your whole heart. You know what it’s like to be used for somebody’s personal gain, what it’s like to have freedom always lurking just out of reach. And you’ve heard about the treatment of enslaved humans. Most would rather die that live under the cruelty of their fae masters. That the practice hasn’t been outlawed utterly sickens you.

Fin says nothing for a while. His hand continues to hold yours. His eyes drink you down with a muted intensity. Like this is the first time he’s ever really taken you in.

“I agree.” He murmurs, much to your surprise. “And when war comes — and it will, and I’m preparing for it — when war comes, I will fight alongside the humans. To liberate them.”

You look at him, then — a male who has lived for almost a millennia, but doesn’t look a day over forty. Who is so universally feared, who carries a reputation for things you can’t even bear to consider. You will not fool yourself into believing that the darkness hides an inner light, or that the cruelty is a front. He is not soft and he is not kind.

But perhaps he’s not totally bad, either. That he would put himself in the firing line for the liberation of innocent humans…it has to speak somewhat to his character.

It almost makes you regret your scheming, your manipulating.

Before you can muster a response, the High Lord is leaning closer. Your body tenses as his face stops inches away from yours.

“You need not be afraid of me, Y/N.” He whispers. “I find you…magnificent. I like that you don’t filter yourself in front of me, that you’re not afraid to speak your true thoughts and feelings.  You…you are an asset. Worth so much more than you’ve ever been given credit for.”

Your gaze dips, cheeks burning at the compliment. “I don’t know about that—”

“I mean it.” His finger hooks under your chin, soothing the skin there. “Magnificent.” He repeats, and he’s leaning in closer, closer, until his lips are coasting your flushed cheek. The kiss he presses there is cold in contrast, but you have no chance to react as his mouth brushes its way to the shell of your ear and lingers there. “Absolutely brilliant. And do you know what?”

“…What?”

“After the ball is over,” his breath tickles your ear, “I’m going to bring you back here, to this stage. And those stars above our heads will watch as I strip you bare and fuck you hard enough to shake the building.”

It takes every morsel of your resolve not to start at the words. You release a shaky breath — one that makes you seem eager, responsive. It’s convincing enough that you don’t think you’d be out of place up here on this stage.

Thankfully, you don’t have to drag words from your spinning thoughts. Fin lets go, and he pulls back, rising to his feet.

“But until then,” he holds a hand out for you, “there is much to be done. Starting with you and I getting a good night’s sleep.”

You wear a mild smile as you allow him to pull you up. “A girl can dream.”

“And so can a High Lord.”

You don’t say much else to each other as he tugs you close and spirits you back to his palace. You are both pensive, and you are both tired.

But when he bids you goodnight outside your bedroom and strolls off to his own, sleep seems further away than ever. You’re thinking too much at once. Humans. War. Fin. Azriel.

You still desperately want to see Az, talk to him.

You dig back into the drawer, meaning to retrieve the letter you’d started to write.

But your hand merely knocks against wood, and the letter is gone.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

You’re tempted — to write another letter, or note, or…whatever. You don’t even know what became of the first, unfinished one, whether it made its way to Azriel or not.

But days pass, and you…you begin to lose your nerve a little. Perhaps it’s better to live in ignorance for as long as possible than know, either way, what Azriel is thinking. Choosing. Can’t help feeling that the more time pedals on without a word…the worse the outcome will be.

Distractions help. But tonight, it would seem, there are none. And it’s strange, because everything around you is bathed in luxury, in excellence, but you find yourself missing the stripped back simplicity of Windhaven. The crumbling cottages, the mead hall, the rough-and-tumble way of life. There’s always something happening in that harrowing place, something to keep you occupied. As you stare down an evening in a huge, mostly empty palace, you’re actually struck by your longing for it. Both Roza and Fin are busy. Mor is away. Only the mountains and the distant sounds of the city are your companions tonight.

And once again, your thoughts take you to Azriel.

You think maybe this need for him is getting out of hand. And maybe it’s just the sugar-sweet things that Fin has been speaking into your ear, the knowledge that deep down, there’s only one person you want to make such promises to you—

No. It’s not just that. Not just a pathetic influence of suggestive words. It’s a need.

You need Azriel.

Your closest friend. Your safety blanket. The male who saved you and brought you into the fold of a loving, supportive unit. You stared down awkward adolescence together, faced such trying times by each other’s sides.

And you need him.

Your heart, your body, your skin, is hot and heavy with it. Restless. Like the craving is pulling you apart from the inside.

You need to do something, anything, to occupy yourself; take a late-night stroll, read a book. Anything to stop you from staring at the ceiling and being eaten alive by the fire that scorches your veins.

You’re so desperate to get moving that you don’t bother to grab a jacket — just shove your feet into your shoes. A spring mildness has blanketed the city, anyway. You’ll be fine. You just need to move—

But you yank your bedroom door open, and Azriel is on the other side.

His beauty punches you straight in the gut.

He’s a vision, stood there in casual clothing, a note — your note — clutched in his hand. He takes in the sight of you just as hurriedly.

“What are you doing here,” you breathe.

He opens his mouth. Closes it. His eyes rove you again, and he swallows. “I got your note.” He answers. “I wanted to see you, too, and…the High Lord summoned Rhys, Cass and I here…to warn us to be on our best behaviour at the ball.”

You can’t say anything. Can’t speak. You just gawk like a godsdamned fool.

A strange concoction of a frown and a laugh comes from Az. “I…snuck away after…to come here—”

Before you even know what you’re doing, your hand is bunching in the front of Azriel’s shirt, and you’re dragging him into the room with all your strength. He looks bewildered as you shove the door shut behind him.

“Az, have you lost your mind?” You round on him. “If Fin knew you’d come to my room—”

“He isn’t here.” He cuts you off. “Cass went straight back to Windhaven, and Rhys knew I wanted to see you, so…he’s currently having quality family time with Roza and his father in the city.”

There’s a lot to unpack. But all your mind wants to zero in on is that one little sentence — Rhys knew I wanted to see you.

Pathetic, how your entire stomach flips.

“…You call him Fin?”

It takes a moment for your mind to catch up enough to understand Azriel’s question.

“We’ve been living under the same roof.” You shrug slowly. “I…guess he got tired of me using his title.”

Az stares at you, assessing. You’re not sure what he’s looking for, but you fidget under the intensity of his gaze.

“What is it?” You ask him.

“I’m worried about you. I know he’s taking you to the ball. I don’t want you playing his games.”

You purse your lips. “…That why you snuck here to my room, Az? To give me a warning—”

“I came here because you said you wanted to see me, and I want to see you, too.”

So open — for him. So straightforward that for a beat, you’re not sure how to react.

But then you’re moving, and so is he, and your bodies slam together in a tight, long-awaited embrace. Feeling his arms wrap around you is…everything. Everything you’ve missed and longed for. Everything you will ever long for. Whatever happens…Azriel is the only thing you’ll need, when all is said and done.

And that’s why you’re suddenly crying, clinging to him.

On instinct, Azriel’s arms tighten around you. He moves a hand up to cradle the back of your head, and he whispers, “Y/N…”

“Please don’t leave Windhaven.” The words choke out of you. “Please, Az, just…don’t go to Fenlaros. Please—”

“Y/N. Look at me.”

Tears and all, you do. You remain as close to him as you possibly can as you lift your head to meet his eyes.

You don’t know how you know, but you do — from that one, heavy stare, you can tell that things have changed. That he has changed. He looks like the same, stunning male that you’ve always admired, but something else sits on his face.

Emotion.

Determination.

Fire.

He opens his mouth. Takes a slow, shuddering breath that you feel through every inch of your body. And then he says, with utter clarity, “I’m not going anywhere.”

You almost break all over again. But he keeps talking, keeps sharing.

“I love you. No — I’m in love with you. I love you more than I can put into words. I want you and only you, and I’m not leaving you. The only reason I would ever walk out of that camp is if you were by my side, and we were leaving together.”

You are…weightless. Boneless. Held up only by Azriel’s arms. A tear rolls down your cheek, and you allow it to fall to the carpet.

“My handling of my feelings,” Az stares down at you, “has been one huge fuck up. I loved you long before you offer to let me practice intimacy on you. Experiencing those things with you…the things you made me feel…only brought those feelings to the surface. And instead of facing them as I should have done, I hid behind Kaeda to avoid them. But it was never about Kaeda. It was always you. It will always be you. And I’m scared, Y/N, I’m fucking terrified. But I’m done running. Done hiding.”

Silence sweeps into the room on swift wings, and you are suddenly incapable of thought, and of somehow turning it into words. Without Azriel’s voice to distract you, you’re aware of the tremors that wrack through his body. As though this is the scariest thing in the world to him, and he’s trying to hold strong against it.

It probably is.

He studies you closely. Croaks out, “Please say something.”

And perhaps it’s giving him the wrong impression entirely, but you’re stepping out of his arms and putting space between you. You just…need to gather your thoughts. To remember how to speak.

“I…” You blink. “I handled it badly, too.”

“It doesn’t matter—”

“I made selfish choices. I…I acted out of jealousy because I wanted you, but you and Kaeda were…”

He shakes his head resolutely. “What I told you before was true. I never touched Kaeda like that. Even before I found out about all that Fenlaros shit, I think I knew that I wouldn’t. That I couldn’t.”

A fact that breaks your heart. Your eyes fill with tears again. “But I still did. Cass and I—”

“Cassian was there for you when I should have been, and I had no right — none — to react the way that I did. If anyone did anything wrong that night, it was me. But what you and Cass did…it does not matter. Not one bit.”

You’re pivoting on the spot, turning your back to him, before you can crumble entirely. He really means it. Really does not hate you for the choice you made, even though it hurt him.

“Y/N,” Az’s voice shakes behind you. “Please…look at me.”

Now you’re confronted with the situation, part of you wants to run — to hide.

But Az is being open. Honest. No matter how hard, how terrifying it is for him…he’s here. He’s trying.

And so you’ll try, too. And you think you might be shaking just as much as he is as you turn back to him.

The two of you stare at each other. Feel the situation out with your gazes alone.

Azriel is the one to break the extended silence.

“You said you need me.” He eyes you. He’s visibly trembling all over, and it has nothing to do with the chill in the room. Trembling like he’s trying to hold himself together against the weight of the situation.

“…Yes.” You swallow. “I do, Az…I think I’ve always needed you.”

“So show me.”

You pause. Blink, your eyes blown wide. “What?”

“Show me how you need me.” He steps closer, and though he’s shaking, he outreaches a hand and find yours. “Show me how to give you what you need.”

Your fingers brush his, and you’re forcing a lump down your throat. Drinking him in. He…he’s exquisite. “You mean…”

“I mean,” the gap is closed between your bodies, and his heat is reaching you, “I don’t want to practice. I want it all…everything…with you. I want you to take me. Only you—”

You’re surging forward with so much pent-up need that when your lips collide with Azriel’s, it almost knocks you both to the floor.

But Azriel’s arms are banding around you, and he’s a pillar against you, kissing you back with just as much heat.

You don’t know which of you makes what move. Your hands are all over him, and his are all over you, and he’s walking you backwards and groaning as the kiss deepens.

You find the hem of his tunic, dip your hands under, fingertips skating warm skin that shudders beneath your touch. “Can I take this off?” You murmur, and he swallows your words greedily.

“All of it — take it all.”

And so you do. There is no method to it. You’re a woman starved and crazed as you tear at his clothing, not caring about where it ends up, so long as it’s no longer on him. More and more tan skin is exposed, more muscles, more scars. And when he kicks out of his boots and breeches and his underwear is the only remaining barrier, you’re reaching for him, for the hardness that’s pushing through the dark grey fabric and taunting you.

But Azriel reaches out an arm to gently stop you. His hand brushes your cheek, and his eyes are pure hunger as he says, “Your turn.”

And it hits you just then that up in until this point, Azriel has never seen you naked — in this capacity, anyway. There have been plenty of non-sexual circumstances over the years in which you’ve gotten a glimpse of each other, but not like this. Even when he began practicing on you, you never took your clothes off.

And you’re fucking nervous. Even more so under the press of his gaze. He looks like he may combust as you slowly move your hands to your shirt and tug the front laces loose. You pull the hem out from where it was tucked into your breeches.

The fabric parts enough that it more or less slides off you and pools on the floor. You do not meet the heavy stare that watches you so closely. You may lose your nerve if you do.

But when the last few items of clothing are off and kicked away from you, and you’re left entirely bare, you hear a sharp intake of breath. Curiosity gets the better of you. You lift your gaze and resist the urge to fold your arms over your chest.

Azriel is staring at you like…like nobody ever has before.

Like you are the rare rays of sunlight that break through the grey landscape of Windhaven. Like the world around you was forged from your own two hands.

Like you’re beautiful, and worthy, and unruined.

“…What is it?” You clear your throat, shifting on the spot.

Azriel shakes out of a daze and takes a single step closer to you. “You are…” His throat bobs, “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

You almost laugh. Almost. But something stops you.

The sincerity in his tone, his eyes. The realisation that he truly means that.

Your eyes travel from his face, down his sculpted chest and stomach. The firm, toned legs and what sits beneath him. You’ve seen plenty of his body naked. But…not all at once.

You think the air might be punched from your lungs.

He’s hard as a rock — from looking at you. The tip of his cock is already leaking moisture. His wings flare proudly at his back.

“So beautiful.” He cups your jaw, guiding your eyes back up to his.

There’s nothing else you can say, in that moment, than the words that tumble from your lips.

“I love you,” you whisper.

Emotion crosses his face, and both hands are gripping your cheeks. He kisses you deeply; so deeply that it steals your breath.

And then he pulls away, and he’s repeating his earlier words, his forehead pressed to yours. “Show me — show me what you need. No games, just…you and me.”

No games, indeed. You cannot wait any longer.

You rise on the tips of your toes and claim his mouth with yours, and you’re guiding him back, back, until his legs are hitting the bed and he’s gladly falling onto it. He sprawls out, watching as you climb over him. As your hand caresses his stomach and moves down.

And when your fingertips brush the head of his cock, a deep, delicious noises rumbles in his throat.

You mop the moisture up with your palm, using it to slick the length of him and slide your hand up and down. He hisses between his teeth, hips jerking, hands bunching within the covers on your bed.

“No games,” he repeats through gritted teeth. “This is about both of us.”

And you know that, and you’re not patient enough, anyway, for foreplay right now.

It dawns on you that there will plenty of time for that.

He is not leaving Windhaven — not leaving you.

You will have experiences together beyond this one night.

And with that very fact warming your heart and making it set to burst, you place your legs either side of his body and stare down at him. His cock brushes against your centre, and he can feel how wet you already are for him. His eyes travel down.

You watch, and you ask him, quietly, “You’re sure about this?”

His gaze flicks up immediately. “I’ve never been surer about anything in my life.” He reaches out a trembling hand and brushes a strand of hair out of your face. “That doesn’t mean I’m not nervous — gods, I really fucking am. So scared. I just…want to do it right. To be good for you.”

The sentiment almost brings tears to your eyes. “You couldn’t do it wrong if you tried, Az. Do you trust me?”

“With my whole heart.” He sits up a little — angles himself closer to you. “And I love you with my whole heart, too.”

And that’s all either of you need, isn’t it? Love and trust. The need that exits between you. Everything that is just…yours and Azriel’s relationship in its entirety.

Your eyes remain locked with his as you gently reach down and position his cock at your entrance. He breathes shakily. Doesn’t look away from you once.

Not as you slide down onto him just a little. You pause at the first feel of your walls stretching to accommodate him. A pleasured frown furrows his brow. A moment passes, two, and then you slide down further.

More and more. Sinking onto him. Pausing. Adjusting. With every inch of his huge length that disappears inside you, you feel like every one of your nerve endings is struck by lightning. Azriel’s head lolls back, and he makes a soft noise.

“You’re okay?” You check, hovering over him.

“You feel—” He chokes on his words. “Fuck.”

It’s the encouragement you need to sink the rest of the way onto him. The last few inches slide into you quick, thanks to the slickness that soaks your folds, and then he’s pushed into the hilt and hitting a spot so deep inside you that you can’t stifle the noise that breaks from your throat.

“Did I hurt you?” Azriel gasps, and you can only shake your head. He seems to study your face for confirmation, before he’s pushing up to kiss you.

And you kiss him back. For a moment, that’s all either of you do.

But when he’s losing himself in your mouth, his tongue dancing around yours, seemingly distracted by your kiss…only then do you lift your hips and sink down onto him again. And then you’re falling into a slow, steady rhythm.

Azriel is gasping again, his mouth moving from yours to press kisses to your jaw, your neck, your collarbones — your breasts. As you rock slowly against him, the walls of your pussy squeezing him, coaxing him, he buries his face into your chest and explores you, lips and tongue paying attention to your nipples, teeth grazing with a gentleness that’s almost heartbreaking.

“So beautiful.” He whispers, and the hands that are sitting on your hips travel up your back — up to the scars that live in the place of your stolen wings. “Gods, Y/N, you’re everything.”

You moan, rocking harder on him and wrapping your arms around his neck. You just…want to hold him to you, to feel him against you. It’s like it all comes crashing down on you that he very easily could have left.

But he didn’t. He won’t. He is here and so are you. He is yours and you are his.

“Talk to me,” you breathe, raking your nails down his arms. “Tell me how you feel.”

“So good — feels so good with you wrapped around me.”

“Yeah?” You lean down, brush a kiss to his lips. “You like being inside me?”

“There is — fuck — there is no one, Y/N, that I want to do this with, besides you.” His mouth slants over yours, and he whispers two words — take me — before he’s giving himself to your kiss.

He’s so big, so deep. And the blood in your veins feels like molten lava as the pace picks up, as his trembling begins to subside, and he grows more confident. His groans are loud, and his hands roam over your body before finally landing on your hips. Fingertips dig into your flesh with a dizzying bite, and he’s rocking you, encouraging you to take him. To fuck him.

This is not practice. This is two bolts of lighting striking in the same place. The friction between your bodies is perfect, like nothing else you’ve ever felt. The pleasure may just finish you yet. It’s electric. Addictive. You want to feel like this forever, with him.

And more pleasure floods you as in one swift move, he flips you over — takes you entirely by surprise. You’re landing on your back, and he’s hovering over you. He stills as he stares down at you.

“This is perfect.” He says, dipping down to kiss you again. It makes him move inside you suddenly, and the different angle has you both gasping into each other’s mouths. “Gods.”

“Fuck me, Az.” You moan. “Just like that.”

What starts out slow quickly builds in pace. The roll of Azriel’s hips become thrusts — and the moans, the cries, the words that leave you, all guide them to be deeper, harder. You think you could stay like this forever, with him buried inside of you, wringing pleasure from every corner of your body. It snakes through your veins and zips up your spine, and when his hand travels down and his fingers find your clit, you fucking explode.

You cry out, bucking up from the bed as your orgasm hits you full force. Azriel fucks you through it, and his groans are growing louder, more desperate, as the walls of your cunt clench around him. He breathes out a fractured, desperate noise, leaning down to brush his lips over yours as he fucks into you harder.

“I can’t last much longer.” He chokes around his pleasure, pressing quick, nipping kisses to your mouth. “I can’t—”

“Come for me.” You gasp, locking your legs around his waist. “Come inside me.”

The noise that your words coax from him is downright sinful. He grabs your hips in his hands, slants his mouth over yours. He slams into you again, again, again, and then he’s roaring his pleasure with enough force to shake the bed, and you feel every rope of come that he spills into you.

You’re trembling. Or maybe that’s him. Or both of you. Both slick with sweat, and both shaking, and both unable to hold yourselves up any longer.

Azriel collapses beside you, his body still tangled with yours. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, his heavy breaths heating your skin. You sink a trembling hand into the strands of his hair.

“That was—” His voice hitches, “I can’t…can’t put it into words.”

Neither can you. It’s all you can do to nod as you catch your breath.

“Thank you.” A kiss is pressed against your neck. Another. Az’s arm drapes over your chest, and he moves his mouth to yours. “Thank you.”

Still void of words, you settle on kissing him. Deep. Slow. Unhurried. Your hand cups his cheek, and your tongue strokes into his mouth. Lays out a litany of sentiments that you’re currently incapable of verbalising.

It feels like you kiss each other forever. But then you’re pulling back, pressing your foreheads together. And you stare into Azriel’s eyes as you tell him once again, “I love you.”

Emotion floods his eyes, and he holds you as close to him as he possible can, murmuring onto your mouth, “I love you, too. I think I always have.”

You know you always have. You tuck yourself into his side, content to feel his skin against yours. The rest of the world floats away. There is nothing and no one but you and him. Your Azriel.

Your eyes are growing heavy when he brushes his lips against your forehead, and he whispers the words you’ve needed to hear for so, so long.

“Whatever happens, Y/N,” another kiss joins the first, “you and I will face it together.”

pom tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd @coralseacourt @towhateverend87 @sspookz @bird-on-the-wire33 @morrie-rose @megwan @catscanteleport @sevikas-whore @thickthighs-sadeyes @hihelloitsbooktimeppl

[paulyenvol6]

Byka Atroksia (Chapter 1)

Contains: No trigger warnings really just Rhaenyra being mean and tension between uncle and niece

Wordcount: ~2.68k

Masterlist of this story

You looked out of the window in your chambers in the red keep, watching the approaching ships.

You knew that you should be down there. Like your sister Rhaenyra, waiting at the dock, waving to your uncle and the other people and welcoming them back kind – heartedly in the capital. But you couldn't.

It was too much and you knew if you did what you were supposed to do, you'd feel bad afterwards.

Your sister was three years older than you, 19, beautiful, feminine with full lips and warm eyes. And then there was you. A bit too tall and a bit too thin.

Of course you hadn't always felt that way. But when your cousin Aelon had said that you looked like a boy a few years ago, that had stuck with you. Ever since that day you always had these words in your head and you indeed felt like a boy.

You were 16 now, a grown woman but you didn't have a large chest, beautiful soft curves like a real woman does. Your chest was too small, your hips too slim and your arms and legs were too long. You felt like a fool, a boy… And you knew that a man didn't desire to lay with a boy.

Having a sister like Rhaenyra didn't exactly improve your situation. She was desired by all men in the seven kingdoms. Her grace, her charme and her wide smile had enchanted the grumpiest and rudest lords and knights.

And it had also enchanted your uncle Daemon, you were certain. Daemon Targaryen, brother of your father, Viserys Targaryen. Daemon was chaotic, wild, messy and dangerous. And all these traits had always made him so interesting to you and your sister.

Your father was the exact opposite. Rhaenyra and your mother had died when you were little and your father had wanted to protect you two ever since. Perhaps it was because you were the only two things left of your mother or it simply was because he didn't want to lose what he loved again. It didn't matter, he guarded and protected the two of you as if you were made of glass.

That was probably why your uncle had always been that interesting because he was different. Rhaenyra and you knew him as dangerous ever since you were born. He brought excitement, risk and thrill. When he came around you knew that it wouldn't be boring and you knew that everything would be different to what you expected.

Perhaps that was the reason why you and Rhaenyra had been fighting for your uncle's attention as long as you could remember. It was about who Daemon looked at longer, whose jokes he laughed about louder and who he brought the more special gifts.

You were competing and battling for his gaze and appreciation. Each of you wanted him to like you just a little bit more than the other.

When he made you a compliment you could feel Rhaenyra's angry gaze burning a hole in your back. But when he asked Rhaenyra for a dance on a name day of some distant cousin it was not rare for you to cry your eyes out in your chambers from anger and desperation.

You couldn't even exactly pin point when this competition had started and you didn't even exactly know what it was about. What was the prize, what were you fighting for? It simlpy was like a unspoken game between you, even though game seemed like a word too kind for this battle. You couldn't even exactly tell whether Daemon knew about the battle between you and your sister. At least he had never shown any sign that he did so you were not able to figure it out.

Over the last couple of years though, you had felt like you were losing this very game. When you were 12 you had seen Rhaenyra change. She had been growing and becoming a woman and you had feared you'd lose your uncle's attention.

You didn't entirely, but at the same time you felt as if he liked Rhaenyra better. Perhaps because she was more like Daemon than you were.

She was brave and witty, she made jokes while there were important men with important positions at the table. She was cocky and wasn't afraid to speak up to a lord who was twice her age. Rhaenyra was bold and it had happened more than once that she had gone out for a midnight stroll in the city, something that you wouldn't dare to do.

Maybe you were more like Viserys, you followed the rules and kept your head down. But you didn't do this to impress your father, no, you didn't want to be that way.

You wanted to be special, someone the people were talking about. You wanted your uncle to raise his eyebrows impressed when you told him about your adventures and wanted him to laugh about your quick-witted temper. You wanted him to flirt with you and wanted to be able to answer just as charmingly. But you knew that you couldn't.

Perhaps it was just the way you are, you weren't able to act that way. You looked down when important people spoke to you and you laughed at your sister's jokes instead of making some yourself.

So that's why you sometimes considered the competition with Rhaenyra finished. You couldn't even be mad at Daemon for prefering your sister. She was indeed more like him and she definitely had more to offer. Not only a more beautiful face but a smart and funny mind. Things simply were the way they were and you couldn't change them.

~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn't watch everything out of your window but you could see the boats arriving and tiny people stepping from the boats to the ground. Daemon had been at the Stepstones the last weeks fighting a war against the Triarchy. You hadn't seen him in four months and actually were looking forward to have him back at the red keep.

Your ongoing battle with Rhaenyra wasn't everything. You always had a good and exciting time with Daemon and enjoyed spending your hours with him in the gardens or at dinner.

Then after a while all the tiny people had stepped inside the carriages and there was nothing to see anymore. They would drive to the red keep now and then there would probably be a little welcoming and then a big feast in the evening to celebrate the King’s brother's safe return.

You stepped away from the big window and sat down on a chair. You knew you couldn't hide in your chambers all day. You knew you would have to attend tonight's feast and it wasn't like you had to be forced to go there.

You couldn't even exactly say why you had refused to go to the bay to welcome the ships. Because once again, you didn't despise spending time with Daemon at all, it was the contrary. He made you giggle and blush and smile. You just felt like competing with Rhaenyra for his attention took all of your energy and it sometimes could be very exhausting. Now you took the book next to your bed and turned the pages bored. You couldn't really focus on the letters and just wanted time to pass. You didn't even know what you were waiting for, perhaps it was the feast tonight.

You were really looking forward to seeing your uncle but you didn't have the courage to leave your room to make a special entry down in the hall either. That exactly was a good example of how you were different to Rhaenyra because your sister most certainly wouldn't have a problem doing something like this.

You were still trying to focus on your book when there was a knock on your door. "Come in.", you said surprised and then the door opened. "Uncle?!" You couldn't supress a wide smile and stood up.

He had come. He had come to see her shortly after his arrival. He hadn't gone up to his room, hadn't strolled through the gardens with Rhaenyra (at least not for a very long time because some time had passed since his arrival and you obviously couldn't tell what he had been doing since he had arrived), no he had come up all the steps of the staircases to see you.

He wore black trousers and skirts with a red shirt underneath and of course, looked handsome as always.

You fastly walked towards him and wrapped your arms around him. He returned the hug and buried his face in your hair. "My beautiful niece. Wonderful to see you." You smiled softly, which he couldn't see and felt your heart beating faster at his words. You ended the hug and you could see Daemon watch you closely.

"I must admit I was a little disappointed to not see you at the dock.", he smirked. "I'm sorry, I… I wasn't feeling very well earlier.", you lied and Daemon immediately took a step back.

"Do not tell me that you're ill and I'll be walking out of here with the fever.", he hissed with small eyes but smirked. You laughed and crossed your arms over your chest.

"No I'm not ill. It was simply a headache." "I’m glad, little owl."

'Little owl'. That was his nickname for you and you didn't know what to think of it. You found it cute that he even bothered to have a nickname for you but at the same time you were wondering whether or not it once again confirmed your apprehension. Weren’t you nothing but a boring, quiet, night owl to him after all?

Daemon called Rhaenyra little storm sometimes but the nickname definitely wasn’t as established as yours and he only used it very rarely, but you still didn’t know if it was good or bad.

"But how are you, uncle? What are the stepstones like?" Daemon threw his head back. "Let me think, there is…. Bad wine, bad climate and no feather beds. In other words, I’m happy to be back.", he smiled and you couldn’t help but softly smile as well.

You were so happy to have him back after all. "I have something for you, by the way." You looked up to him to meet his gaze and he grinned crookedly.

"Turn around.", he spoke and you did as he had told you. Once your back was facing him he gently moved your hair out of the way. You helped him and exposed your neck and then you felt Daemon reaching around your neck to put a necklace on you. His hand brushed over your soft skin and you could feel yourself getting goosebumps and just hoped Daemon didn’t notice it. His hands were so close and you felt the blood pulsating in your veins.

He had closed the claps and you slowly turned around. Daemon smirked and watched the pendant on your skin.

"Beautiful.", he whispered and you could feel the blood rising in your cheeks again. Then you stepped in front of the mirror to watch yourself. The pendant glistened golden and it had a red flower on it. It was incredibly beautiful and you happily played with it.

"Thank you uncle. It’s lovely." Daemon stepped behind you and watched you as well through the mirror. You could feel his arm against your back and slightly shivered which made you angry. Why couldn’t you just play it cool for once in your life?

"You’ve become a woman, little owl.", he then whispered and didn’t take his eyes off the reflection of you. Your eyes searched for his‘ in the mirror and you didn’t know what to answer. You felt his chin brush against your hair. He was so close to you, you could literally feel his warmth.

"I’m 16.", you said and wanted to slap yourself. That had literally been the worst answer one could think of. Daemon chuckled in response.

"I feel like you have changed in these last four months." You smiled softly. "I don’t think I have." Your uncle smirked and you could feel his hand ligthly over your arm.

"Perhaps I should look at you more accurately then." You could feel your breath fasten and helplessly bit on your lip just to do anything. Daemon looked down to your naked shoulder as you could see in the mirror when he suddenly stepped away from you.

You exhaled loudly and all of the tension was gone. You aimlessly walked around in the room and tried to collect yourself.

"I’ll go now, I have to rest before the feast tonight." Your head turned to watch your uncle still smirking. "Yes, yes. I’ll see you later.", you spoke with a weak voice and didn’t look at him while he left your room.

'What was that?', you thought and tried to get more air to reach your lungs. Had you imagined this or had there been tension between the two of you? You knew your uncle and you knew that he liked to be a bit flirty but this right now…. He had been so close to you and what did he say? He should look at you more accurately, what did that even mean?

You supported your weak body by resting your hands on the desk. Slowly you could feel your heartbeat slow down and after a while dared to stand on your own without the support of the desk. Your hands were still slightly shaking but after another 5 minutes you almost felt like yourself again.

~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later you were finally walking down the stairs and headed to the hall. You had spent the last two hours overthinking every second of your encounter with your uncle and had come to the conclusion that after four months of fighting a war, Daemon had simply wanted to play with her a little and she shouldn’t read anything into it. He probably had just felt like confusing her a bit and it honestly made a lot of sense, considering it was his nature to be a bit coquettish.

You now wore a red gown that exposed your shoulders and collar bones. It fell down to the ground and was tight at your waist. When you were about to step through the door to enter the hall in which the feast would take place you could feel a hand on your shoulder.

"Sister.", Rhaenyra hissed and you turned around. "Rhaenyra.", you greeted her.

"Where were you all day? Why didn’t you come with us to welcome uncle?" You raised your chin, promising yourself to be brave and self confident today. "I wasn’t feeling very well, sister. I prefered to spend the noon in my chambers."

Rhaenyra frowned. "I don’t believe you." "Then don’t, but I’m telling the truth." Your sister took a step back from you and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Is this about uncle?" You chuckled. "What about him?"

"You didn’t want to see him, did you?" You laughed loudly. "Why shouldn’t I?" "Because you don’t like to see him put his attention on any other person who’s not you." Rhaenyra smiled evily and you just wanted to punch that smirk out of her face.

"That’s not true, I told you I simply had a headache." "You NEVER have a headache." Slowly you got angry. "Well I did today and this is none of your business anyway."

Rhaenyra smirked even wider and took another step back. "I’m going to go fly with uncle tomorrow, by the way. On Caraxes. We’re going to Dragonstone and he said he’s gonna show me around the caves."

Your heart was beating faster and you could feel your anger and pain going to your head. With all your energy you tried to make the tears that you started to feel in your eyes vanish but you knew that Rhaenyra had noticed them. "I hope you have a good time.", you pressed and then turned around and entered the hall.

[domsaysstuff]

Okay so this idea has been rocking around my empty skull for some time now just we know that Eddie can be a pretty mean DM and a shithead and I've been thinking abt romances in D&D and how it would work in Hellfire

And I had this thought that Eddie would like be "no romances!!" to the Corroded Coffin group (before the kids joined) and they're like why? and Eddie just to tease them says that he doesn't want to pretend to fall for their smelly ugly faces

Which just motivates them to try and seduce like every character that Eddie introduces for a fucking month and it leads to the creation of the rule: Every romance/seduction directed roll must be rolled above 15 to succeed AND if Eddie decides that the attempt is particularly bad the roll is with disadvantage

The Corroed Coffin boys are obviously teasingly like ohhh so we get an advantage if it's good?

"Doubt that would happen boys, but sure, if you make me, Eddie fucking Munson, to blush like a fair maiden then you'll get the advantage on the roll"

They try, they really do, but all the CC boys succeed in doing is killing off all of their party in three sessions and Gareth who is a little shit is actually rolling his third character (because the consequences of a failure are fucking brutal) by the time Jeff and [unnamed freak] give up

After that they know better (except Gareth who still sometimes does that just to annoy Eddie and be a little shit) to try and then the kids join Hellfire and Eddie has even less of an desire to flirt with fucking Wheeler, Henderson and Sinclair (they're baby children!!)

But the kids are a little shits too and they see Gareth being a little shit so they copy

It ends badly for them, they gripe about Eddie being unfair because like "all three of us have girlfriends Eddie and you don't so we clearly know more about romance then you do" Dustin not only gets a flick on the head for that but his character might have ended up being put into situations™ throughout the session that are "totally unfair!"

But fair to say all of Hellfire knows the rules and all of hellfire knows that no matter how well they try and how smooth they are (they really aren't ever smooth) Eddie will not blush or even consider they attempts as "good", the best they got was "tolerable" (Lucas got it and he's still very proud of it, as he deserves okay?), Eddie is impossible to fluster and so it's just is this fun thing they sometimes do when they feel particularly like little shits

And that's it about it

Until Vecna and all the upside down shit and the surprising friendship of Eddie and Steve happens

And suddenly Steve Harrington is not only sitting but playing D&D

Everything is going actually pretty good and Dustin practically vibrates out of his chair at how proud he is of Steve for how well he is doing so far and then

And then Steve tries to flirt with a pretty bard

Dustin deflates, he is ready for the absolute disaster that is going to fall upon Steve, he makes eye contact with Lucas - both of them ready with "it was actually a pretty good line tho!" at the tip of their tongues to defend Steve's decisions, he doesn't know Eddie's special rules after all and it would be funny to see Steve fail, sure, but it's Steve's first game and the kids wanted it to be good for Steve so convincing him to play again would be easier

But now Eddie is going to absolutely rip into him and Steve will never want to play again and-

"Roll with advantage" Dustin gasps, audibly, loudly, the room is silent, except for Steve who's very unaware of the chaos he just created and just rolls the dices, his usual confidence in place

And if someone looked closely - and all of the hellfire is fucking looking - Eddie Munson has indeed a light blush on his face

[meelusinee]

AN OPERA HOUSE ☆ T.N X READER

in which you’re Theo's girlfriend and went to visit him on tour.

pairing: singer!theodore nott x singer!reader tags: band!au, mostly fluff word count: 2.6k warnings: none, just fluff! (and mattheo getting water bottles thrown his way)

author’s note: my first post! for starters, i made a small playlist for this fic if you’d like to check it out. theodore, who i imagine as a cigarettes after sex singer. secondly, while english is my first (and only) language, that does not mean i claim it in any way shape or form (aka this will probably suck ass)

AN OPERA HOUSE | T.N x SINGER!READER

God, he hated interviews.

The lights that were blaring in Theodore’s face, along with the sound of people walking around both in front and behind the set, were really starting to piss him off. Theo didn’t know how Enzo and Mattheo did it, both of them smiling bright as if they were having a nice fuck or smoking a rather heavy cigarette.

Theodore really could use a cigarette right now. Either that, or you.

Thoughts of nicotine and you had been running rampant in his mind ever since he had to leave you for his national tour, the tour that celebrated the release of the band’s newest album Cigarettes After Sex. A debut of sorts, Theodore wasn’t really sure what to call it. If he were to name it anything, he’d want to name it his love letter to you. But Mattheo had said he couldn’t do that, so he stuck with the band name.

“Today is a rather special day for you, isn’t it?”

Theodore’s mind zoned back in as Blaise gently nudged his leg, his posture straightening up as the interviewer finally started asking questions. Perhaps they needed time to make the lights even brighter, Theo thought, his hand moving to cover the frown growing on his face. 

“Very special indeed,” Mattheo said, his signature smirk that got a lot of people involved with the band plastered on his face. “We just released an album, did you hear?”

“Yes, I did!” the interviewer said, smiling brightly as she adjusted the notes in her hand. “I was hoping we could ask you some questions about it, the musical process and making it mostly.”

Theo hummed non-committedly as the rest of them nodded their heads. Questions about music production didn’t sound too bad compared to a media interrogation.

“Do you mind if we did an introduction?” the lady asked, her fingers patting the cards.

“Course not love,” Blaise said, waving his hand casually as he sat up straighter. Theodore rolled his eyes, looking down at the ground. Blaise was always the biggest player out of the four of them. And that said a lot, seeing as though Mattheo Riddle was in the band as well. 

Theodore watched as the cameras focused in on each of them, the interviewer putting her cards down momentarily to introduce them to the show. “Today is a very special day for all of us, I can imagine.” she said, smiling as she made some sort of dramatic hand gesture towards them. “Today, I’m here with the members of Cigarettes after Sex. We’re going to ask questions about their newest album.”

“I’m so excited.” Lorenzo squeaked, straightening up as he and Mattheo made funny faces to the camera.

“I wanted to start with the first question I had, which was how working on the album went.” she started almost instantly, sitting up a bit straighter. Theo rather appreciated that about her. “I mean, there’s four people in your band, and a lot of timing and other issues that you’d have to work on together. Does that stuff come easier to you than to others, do you think?”

“I think we work pretty well together, right?” Lorenzo asked, leaning forward to look at the other three before smirking in Theo’s direction. “Other than Mr. Grumpy over there, he gets pissy a lot.”

“Oh definitely.” Mattheo said, smirking as he ruffled Theo’s hair. “But it’s okay, because he writes us songs and mothers us whenever we drink. We love him very dearly.”

“It’s not my fault you decide to get concerningly drunk almost every time we hit a bar.” Theo grumbled, sitting up a bit straighter as he prepared to answer the question seriously. “We work as a team a lot of the time, especially when it comes to music. The only non-negotiable is the lyrics, which I write by myself. Other than that though, it’s free reign.”

“So things like instruments and rhythm are all decided by everyone in the band collectively?” the interviewer asked.

“Pretty much,” Blaise explained. “Usually Mattheo and Enzo make a starting beat for songs, and Theo and I usually build guitar chords off of that. Theo here has most of the control with singing though, rhythm and stuff.”

“That’s really cool.” the interviewer nodded. “I wish my family had that amount of coordination during the holidays.”

The four of them chuckled at varying degrees, with Mattheo winking at the interviewer after. “Maybe if we came over we could give you some pointers.”

“That sounds really lovely, actually.” she said, the comment obviously getting to her. Her cheeks became visibly more flushed, fingers tapping faster against her notes. “I wanted to ask you guys a little bit about the lyrics though, if you don’t mind.”

And here we go.

“That’s all Theo’s field.” Lorenzo said, all three of their fingers dramatically pointing at the top of Theo’s head. He really felt like walking out for a smoke, and maybe burning them all with the ashes out of spite for their existence. But he wasn’t going to let them know that.

“Now, I’m sure you can guess where this is headed,” she chuckled softly, flipping one of her flashcards over. “I was wondering what the inspiration for your songs was. Do you have a muse or anything of the sort?”

Theodore sighed, feeling the moment almost pause in time as he tried to think of an answer. He very much did have a muse, you were waiting at home in his bed. Even still, he wasn’t sure if he wanted that public. Especially since the both of you were rather quiet creatures.

He supposed it couldn’t hurt too much though.

“I do,” he whispered, clearing his throat after he spoke. He didn't realize how choked he would sound speaking. “Yeah, she’s really pretty.”

“Theo’s got a girlfriend!” Mattheo teased, poking Theo’s cheek teasingly. “He’s got a girlfriend who he loves very much. That woman has stolen his heart from me!”

“For shame of her, the audacity even.” Blaise chuckled amusedly, both Mattheo and Enzo playing a heartbroken bit. Theo smirked softly as Mattheo dramatically rested his head on Lorenzo’s shoulder, fake sobs escaping his mouth as they mourned over the loss of a non-existent relationship. 

“You’ll be fine.” Theo said, gently patting Mattheo’s back.

“I’ll never recover from this.” he sniffled, sitting up a bit straighter. “Mark my words.”

It was a midsummer night, the sweltering heat doing nothing to deter the line of fangirls waiting at the entrance gates. The muggy and dense air seemed to surround everyone with a humid blanket, every bit of contact made as they tried to get through the doors like a match on gasoline. The concerts you went to weren’t usually this crowded and suffocating. 

Then again, you usually never went to such well known-bands.

Luckily for you, you had been able to sneak a VIP seat ticket for the higher tip-tops of the opera house, a fitting venue for the band that was playing tonight. Cigarettes After Sex was flashing on the monitor they had set up near the back of the stage, the camera zoomed in to focus on the currently empty microphone stand. 

Voices filled the area as everyone began to take their seats, some people pushing and shoving as they made their way around with water and sneaked in alcohol. Some of them had on merch for the band, some of them didn’t. Most of them wore darker clothes though, lots of black with leather jackets and heavy boots.

Your eyes zoned in on the screen as the lights began to dim, the voices all hushing as four men walked out onto the stage. Lorenzo Berkshire was the drummer, one of the most well-known band drummers that you could name off the top of your head. Mattheo Riddle was already stationed by the keyboards, his unruly curls already a little damp from the humidity inside the room. Blaise Zabini walked out with his bass guitar in hand, a role you knew he took on just so he could look hot while strumming the strings. Then came out Theodore Nott. 

Your boyfriend.

You could tell that the heat was affecting him the least out of all of the band members, his waterline covered in the tiniest bit of eyeliner. You smiled softly as you recalled the memory of putting eyeliner on him when you two first started dating, the giggling fit the both of you had broken out into as the other three begged you to do their eyeliner as well. 

He looked beautiful in the lighting too, his outfit framing his figure in an almost holy light. You were almost tempted to start writing a song about it right then and there. But now wasn’t your time, now was the time of the band.

You supposed the band thought the same thing as well, Blaise’s fingers beginning the strum the opening of their most popular song. Theo made his way up to the microphone stand, smiling softly at the crowd as he began to sing. His voice was just as angelic as his face, echoing through the opera house like the ghost of a long forgotten lover. He had completely captivated the room, the silence barely just quieter than the sound of his voice. 

“Your lips, my lips,” you smiled softly as he sang the lyrics, leaning your head on your hand. “Apocalypse.”

You remember the time when he wrote that song. Your tongue was barely darted out as you tried to focus on not messing up the edges of a painting you had been working on, the brush trembling with your hands focused. It was a galaxy, the blues and purples blending together in a  jaw-dropping beauty of a display. Mattheo had come into the room as you finished, a low whistle escaping his mouth as he glanced over at it.

“Looks like an apocalypse.”

Apparently, those words had rung through Theo’s mind for the week after that. He eventually sat you down on the bed, pulling out his guitar as he began to sing the lyrics to you. They needed a bit of polishing with the rhythm, his fingers plucking the wrong strings at times as he sang. But it was one of the most beautiful pieces you had heard regardless, tears welling in your eyes as you moved to hug him. That hug also ran through Theo’s mind for yet another week, in which he had apparently produced an entire studio album based on you. 

You smiled softly as the end of the song came about, the final string echoing through the silent theatre. Theo had gone to grab a bottle of water by the speaker, his eyes locking onto yours.

You winked playfully, smiling at the blush that covered his features. You also just remembered that he had not expected you at the tour. 

“You need to come get your lover boy,” were the words that rang through your phone speaker as you tried to press it against your ear.

“What?” you asked again, pen in your hand as you spoke.

“I said,” Mattheo’s voice rang through the speaker. “You need to come get your lover boy. He is really depressed right now, like, really. He’s missing you terribly and is currently refusing to work because of it.”

You heard him and Blaise beginning to argue in the background, the both of them knowing that Theo would eventually get up. But Mattheo seemed to think that you being there would solve every single one of his problems.

“I don’t know if I can go, Mattheo,” you mumbled, placing your notebook down. “I doubt I could get a spontaneous ticket.”

“Don’t worry about that,” he said. “I already sent a driver to pick you up, he’ll be there in about 10 minutes. I’m just calling to let you know.”

“You what?” you said, looking at the phone incredulously. “Mattheo, I don’t have any time to pack! What would I wear?”

“You say that as if Theo won’t buy you a whole wardrobe based on you liking a single piece of jewelry!” Mattheo said back, groaning as Blaise called for him. “I gotta go, make sure you get in that car and come over. He’s really, really missing you.”

“Mattheo, I swear to Merlin.” you began, but didn’t have any time to finish as you heard the beeping at the end of the line. 

(divider)

“Is that amore mio?” Theo asked Blaise incredulously, looking over at the other three before catching Mattheo’s smirk. “Oh, you bastard.”

“You were missing her!” he said, running away from the keyboard so Theo could throw water at him. “It's not my fault you got depressed!”

“She is meant to be resting, testa di cazzo!” Theo said, sighing as he put the bottle down. No doubt that would be clipped in magazine headers across the country. Theo looked over at you, a soft smile coming on his face when you came into vision. You still had that smile on your face, if not brighter now that you were giggling. He smiled back, picking up his microphone again.

“For our next song,” he spoke into the microphone, placing it back on the stand. “I think it’d be rather nice to sing something about the building we’re in as well. Something about the opera house.” he said, smirking softly as the crowd of fans began cheering. The lights dimmed again as the music began playing, his eyes closing as he let it run through his soul.

“Built an opera house for you in the deepest jungle,” he began, the music coursing through his veins. The words flowed out of him like a waterfall, his voice sweet as candy as he began walking back and forth at the front of the stage. Though every time the chorus hit he found himself in the middle, eyes focused on yours as he sang the lyrics. 

“I was meant to love you, and always keep you in my life. I was meant to love you, I knew I loved you at first sight.”

The lights cut off completely as the equipment turned off, a smile growing on Theo’s face as the end of the concert came. 

“Theo!” you squeaked as you saw him, waddling up to him like a happy penguin as you embraced him in a hug. You hadn’t seen him in over two weeks, the longest either of you had ever spent apart. “I never want to abandon you ever again.”

“If anyone was doing the abandoning, it was me.” he chuckled, his arms wrapping around you as he kissed your forehead lovingly. “I missed you so much principessa,” 

“I missed you too,” you mumbled, burying your face in his chest. “Teddy.”

“Are you calling me a teddy bear?” he chuckled softly, pulling away from the hug to cup your face lovingly. His eyes were filled with devotion you only thought possible in dreams and fairytales, that was until you eventually met him at least. 

“Yes I am.” you smiled softly.

“You are ridiculous.” he chuckled softly, pressing his lips against yours as he caressed your cheeks lovingly. “Merlin, I love you.”

“I love you too.” she whispered lovingly. 

The two of you stood comfortably in the silence, wrapped in a hug neither wanted to leave. That was until Mattheo popped in.

“Told you that you missed her!”

His face had rather quickly met two empty water bottles. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE

thank you so much for reading! i got kind of lazy during the end of this, i'm not going to lie to you (it's three am), but! if you want more of these two lovely beauties i might maybe make a part two! (i originally drafted this with reader as a singer in mind, so if you'd like to be singing some adrianne lenker songs to theo just let me know)

please like and comment and all that jazz, i practically live off of validation at this point.

[stubz]

"CAPTAIN!" Calis bursted through the doors panting.

"Yes, Calis?"

"Ki- The humans...the human!" they panted.

"The humans?"

"Yes! I have...urgent news about them. Everyone, out."

The control goes quiet. All eyes on the captain and his second in command.

"Give the room to me and Commander Calis." When everyone leaves he sighs and takes a seat in his chair.

"Captain...the human has betrayed us. My scouts who follow General Morbius spotted Kim along with several other humans conversing with him. Numerous times have they seen them together...surely they have betrayed us."

The Captain looks at Calis and pulls out a drink. He sips it. "What I'm about to tell you does not leave this room." He motions for them to sit.

Calis sits and accepts the drink offered by their Captain. Strong yenx.

"When we discovered that Morbius was feeding classified information to enemy forces we had you follow him with your best scouts. And for a time that was sufficient...until recently." Calis nods.

They stopped the general from leaking information but they still have yet to gather enough evidence to charge him with treason. Not only that but he has gotten more cautious and rarely leaves his home when not at work.

"Well we went through the data base of the Coalition looking for clues or evidence to use when I stumbled upon Kim Greene's file. Here," he hands them the electronic document. "you'll see why Kim, along with some other humans, are conversing with the general so much."

Calis read over the document. At first glance it was nothing special. References, personal information, education, etc. normal things. Until they saw the green triangle next to one of the interview questions.

"...Why is she marked down for secret intelligence? In brackets, honorary...what is a honorary secret intelligence?"

"It's because she along with all the other humans you spotted have experience in befriending the enemy in order to report them to their superiors.

During her interview we asked about what was the toughest thing she had to do at her previous job.

The previous child centre she worked at had several people who were spreading false accusations against their fellow co-workers. One even falsely accused her mentor of illegal activity."

"At a child centre??"

"Yes, I can't believe it either. Carrying on, she was rather quiet at the time and always did her duty with a smile so the enemy ignored her. She used that to become a spy of sorts for her superiors who she respected very much.

Eventually she managed to gather enough information for them that they managed to fire and report the enemies to the proper authorities."

"Are the other humans like this?"

"In a way yes. Steven Smith one of our cafeteria chefs, worked at a restaurant as a waiter and has the patience of a god. He can be belittled, insulted, and be stuck in a never ending conversation that would rot your braincells without cracking."

"Something that would be perfect for the general."

"Indeed. Rebecca Cheng, worked at a cleaning service company and has mastered the art of being unseen whenever she wishes. She has caught several of her employers doing illegal acts or being unfaithful to their spouse simply because they forgot all about her.

And that's just the first few, we have at least a dozen of humans like them who are capable of hiding their presence while at the same time capable of 'befriending' the most unpleasant, foul, and infuriating beings."

"I shudder at the thought of going through the training they went through to achieve this."

The Captain regretfully shakes his head. "This wasn't training Commander...this was them adapting so that they may survive."

[monzabee]

hot girls support 44 – lh44

masterlist

Summary: The one where your husband realises that you are, indeed, his number one fan.

Pairing: lewis hamiton x wife!reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: cursing? (i’m not even sure), and a whole lot of fluff

Request: “Hi can you do we’re Lewis Hamilton wife is with him to see one of his races but she leaves the garage for some reason and over hears someone talking bad about her husband and she snaps and tells them straight and Lewis is watching her from a distance like damn that’s my wife”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i don’t know if this classifies as a drabble but let’s just pretend it does because i realised that i can’t write anything under 1k? this was a very fun request to work on, so thank you to anon, and i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

Both you and Lewis are private people when it came to your relationship. It has always been that way, with him leading a lifestyle in front of the cameras, and you preferring to stay away from those said cameras as much as you can. Over time, you both developed a rhythm, a delicate balance between Lewis's public persona and your desire for privacy. It was an unspoken agreement, an understanding that you valued above all else.. You knew how much Lewis's racing career meant to him, and you admired his ability to excel under the constant scrutiny. And in return, Lewis respected your wish for a quieter, more intimate life together. It was this mutual respect that solidified the foundation of your relationship, allowing it to thrive despite the challenges that fame and attention often brought.

That is not to say that you guys were completely private, of course. You’ve had your fair share of events the two of you attended as a couple, as well as races, but Lewis is always mindful of the fact that you don’t want cameras in your faces. In the early days of your relationship, the media had tried to capture glimpses of your relationship, eager to uncover every detail and learn more about the woman who finally made him give up his bachelor status. However, Lewis, being the fiercely protective partner that he was, had firmly set boundaries to shield your personal life from the prying eyes of the world. He cherished the sanctity of your bond and understood the importance of keeping certain moments sacred and away from the public eye.

The two of you have a special routine for the race days where you decide to join him on the track – you mainly spend your time inside the Mercedes garage, instead of lingering around where the cameras are most likely to be. However, you make sure to leave the garage for celebrations for those races where Lewis is up on the podium, celebrating him with the people who support him every step along the way whom he appreciates immensely; while the podium celebrations were reserved for the public eye, the garage held its own intimate victories. It was here that you celebrated the milestones and shared the unspoken triumphs, basking in the knowledge that your presence was an unwavering pillar of support for Lewis. But for the most part, you’re happy with your routine – it’s safe, familiar and it has worked for a very long time. So you don’t really know why you decided to take Roscoe on an impromptu tour of the paddock, especially when he gives you that look which clearly says that he would rather be taking his afternoon nap.

It's a good day despite the chaos everyone on the paddock seems to be in, but then again, there’s only a few hours until the qualifying session. So, in hopes of avoiding the human traffic, you decide to take Roscoe to a more secluded area in the back. As you walk, Roscoe happily wagging his tail by your side, you take in the sights and sounds of the paddock. The familiar smell of rubber and gasoline fills the air, mingling with the excited murmurs of fans and the distant roar of engines. It's a world you've come to know and appreciate, even if from a slightly different perspective. Lost in your thoughts, you suddenly hear voices growing louder as you approach a group of people gathered in conversation. Curiosity gets the better of you, and you slow your pace, intending to discreetly eavesdrop before continuing on your way. But as you get closer, you realize the topic of their conversation hits closer to home than you expected.

In hindsight, you know better to get involved in situations which might cause you to bother yourself with rude, petty people, but when it concerns your husband and everything that he has worked hard his entire life for, you don’t even hesitate. With the fierce protectiveness you feel inside, you clear your throat to get the attention of the engineers, “Excuse me,” you say as you give them a (fake) smile, “could you repeat that again, please?”

The group falls silent, their faces registering surprise and perhaps a touch of embarrassment. They exchange glances, seemingly unsure of how to respond to your unexpected intrusion. “We just meant that–” The man is quickly silenced by one of his friends elbowing him in the side.

You ignore the silent ow that comes from the man’s mouth and give the trio a stare down. “Well, I guess everybody is entitled to their opinions.” Your sweet smile and dulcet tone is enough to think them that everything is fine, but you’re quick to continue voicing your thoughts, “But that doesn’t give you the right to undermine a man’s hard work, especially when he has broken record after record and don’t even get me started on the fact that not only he is a pioneer in this sport, he is also a role model and inspiration to many and has impact beyond the track.” You let a frustrated hum, “Also, have some respect, the guy is an eight-time world champion.”

The guy who spoke before looks confused as he attempts to point out, “He won it seven–”

“Do you want me to let Roscoe attack you?” You ask as you point to the puppy sitting next to you, who, in hearing his name, looks up at you; all panting and happily sticking his tongue out.

Little do you know, Lewis had been watching the entire scene unfold from a distance, a mix of admiration and adoration in his eyes. He waits until the engineers leave in a hurry, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed on his chest. A smile tugs at the corners of Lewis's lips as he watches you handle the situation with such grace and confidence. As you turn around, ready to head back to the safety of the Mercedes garage, your eyes meet his, and a surge of warmth fills your heart. Walking towards you, Lewis closes the distance between you, his steps purposeful and full of pride. His arms quickly find their place on your waist as he mumbles, “Damn, that’s my wife.”

You roll your eyes at his antics, your face quickly mirroring the smile he gives to you. “Didn’t you see the sign? Apparently, ‘hot girls support 44’.”

“Is that so?” He hums, letting his hands wonder towards the back pockets of your jeans as he continuously presses kisses along your jaw, “It’s definitely right.”

As Lewis's lips trail along your jawline, sending shivers down your spine, you playfully swat at his chest. "Behave, Mr. World Champion. We're in a public place," you whisper, trying to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside you.

Lewis chuckles softly, his eyes sparkling with love and mischief. "Can't help it, love. Seeing you stand up for me like that, it's a turn-on," he teases, his voice laced with admiration. "But you're right, let's save the public displays of affection for later."

With a shared understanding and a silent promise, you and Lewis turn, making your way back to the familiar comfort of the Mercedes garage. In each other's presence, you find solace and strength, ready to face whatever lies ahead. And as Roscoe happily trots beside you, you can't help but feel grateful for the extraordinary life you share with the man who has captured your heart, both on and off the track.

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

The Meet Cute - Law's Story - 8

Source for pic

The Great Pretender 8

Word Count: 3394

Tags For The Whole Story: Fem!Reader; Law is a soft dom; you have bratty tendencies (not all the time); voice kink; praise kink; cursing; very suggestive behaviour and innuendo from the start; sexual tension; teasing; so much flirting; romance; slow-burn; fluff; slight angst; mature audiences (though explicit NSFW moments will be properly tagged on the chapter); possessive Law; protective Law; soft Law; teasing Law; manipulative Doflamingo; inappropriate Doflamingo; fake relationship trope; only one-bed trope; reader has some anxiety issues; reader is a control freak and perfectionist; modern day AU; Mention of ex mentally abusive relationship;

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: After moving away from the hustle and bustle of Grand Line City to help your father around the property following a horse-riding accident - and in the hopes of healing your broken heart after your asshole ex-fiancé cheated - you settle into the country calmness of the Calm Belt. You and Law (your father's doctor) start to build a flirty friendship because of your father’s procedure. So much so that when he’s invited to Baby 5’s wedding (his cousin), he asks you to be his date. His uncle Doflamingo - who is filthy rich - is very adamant on finding a suitable wife for him. Seeing as he wants to avoid that, he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend.

Notes: Check out the new tag I needed to add! It might be triggering and it will be addressed further in other chapters! Thank you!

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555 @hopelesslover06 @mars-mizuko @sleepykittycx @nerium-lil @eustasscapitankid @jqperi

Masterlist

|Chapter 7| | |Chapter 9|

When he comes back from the bathroom, he seems much more composed. You have already changed into some comfortable pyjamas, and are sitting at the edge of the bed, laptop open and checking your notes. Law begins searching his bag for some sweatpants and a T-shirt. You see his jaw clenching tight but he doesn’t speak so you try to lighten up the mood.

“All things considered it wasn’t such a bad night. We survived.” You say sarcastically and Law freezes, ready to enter the bathroom again to change. When he turns to you, there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes so you give him a thumbs up. “Could’ve gone worse!”

He shakes his head at you and scoffs before re-entering the bathroom. You're left wondering if that worked to alleviate some of the lingering tension when he opens the door to the bathroom, already dressed. Leaving the door open he begins brushing his teeth and you realise that it was a silent invitation for you to join him.

So you do.

There are two elegant sinks incorporated in the counter and you take the one on the left - the vacant one. Law continues brushing his teeth while you methodically take off your makeup. Then, you brush your teeth while Law uses floss on his own and when you reach that same step, he begins applying a face cream. Silence surrounds you both yet it’s not constricting. You managed to alleviate the tension indeed. 

It all feels so intimate, so… domestic. 

The last time you did ‘domestic’ with someone was with Ichiji and… and your relationship with him was anything but healthy. Closing your eyes tight, you drop the floss and grip the sink with both hands, your teeth clamping as you bite back the sting of tears. It’s no time to cry right now. Bygones are bygones and you got out! Granted, it took him cheating to finally force that decision out of you, but you did it! So why does thinking about him make you  feel so trapped, again?

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Law’s voice is back to its controlled edge. No longer vulnerable, no longer broken or bruised. He’s back. “Do you need to talk about what happened?”

You shake your head vigorously, trying to tell him that it’s not that, but your breath comes in violent gasps as you try to fight the tears and heartache. Your heart is pounding faster and louder by the second and you feel a tightening in your chest, a suffocating feeling of despair as silent drops of tears begin to flow from the clenched corners of your eyes.

You’re experiencing a mild panic attack. 

Your hands are beginning to numb with the grip in which you hold the sink and dizziness is overpowering you. You need to fight this. It’s too overwhelming.

Law says your name calmly, his hands pulling each of your fingers away from the basin, slowly and steadily. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re all right. I’m here, let’s get through this together.” As he loosens your grip on the sink, you feel him herding you a few steps back to sit on the toilet seat. Your eyes are still squeezed shut and tears are now streaming freely down your cheeks. 

“I’m going to count slowly and I want you to take a deep breath in and then when I count again, you take a long breath out. Got it?” His fingers press against your pulse and you nod, a pitiful whine escaping your lips unwarranted as you struggle to breathe. “Good. That’s good. Come on, now, sweetheart, one: breathe in through the nose, that’s it, you’re doing great, two: out through the mouth, all of it, slowly. Good, you’re doing so well. One more time, let’s go…”

Once he reaches ten your breathing is back to normal and so is your heartbeat. There are thick beads of sweat dripping from your temples and your face is drenched in tears. You still haven’t opened your eyes, but you feel calm now. Once again, Law has managed to help you overcome anxiety.

His fingers release your wrist and you feel both his hands cupping your cheeks to wipe away your tears with his thumbs. “It’s over now, sweetheart. It’s over.” You nod, still silent and still withdrawn from him and the world around you. He gives you a final caress on the cheek and you sense him shift. Another strangled whine leaves your lips at the distance and he speaks, “I’m just getting a wet towel for your neck and forehead. You’re drenched in sweat. I won't leave you.”

As he returns and presses the cool cloth against your scalding skin, you release a deep sigh and finally open your eyes. He’s looking at you, worry etched upon his face, his professional doctor persona mingling with his personal relationship with you. “How are you feeling?” He asks, kneeling back down between your legs, pressing the cloth against your neck.

“I’m… better.” Your voice still feels strained and hoarse. “Thank you.”

A few seconds pass in silence until he speaks. “Was it because… of earlier?”

“No.” You shake your head, a soft smile turning your lips. “It’s stupid, really.” His brow lifts and you sigh. “It all felt too blissfully domestic. A perfect couple scene.” His inquisitive gaze still probes you for more answers and you feel your cheeks flush. “I was only ever domestic like this with Ich-... my ex. And it brought back unpleasant memories. It triggered me.”

Your hands wring together and you chew your bottom lip. Your anxiety still lingers very close, on the borders of your mind, but Law’s presence alone is helping to keep it at bay.

Law nods, his face now composed, not a hint of emotion seeping through, just that tiny crease in his forehead that indicates a lingering worry. “Do you want to talk about it?”

About Ichiji? About how you only realised you were in a mentally abusive relationship after you left him? Or after he forced you to leave him? No. You don’t want to talk about it. Even more so because you’re pretty sure Law knows Ichiji. He has to. Even if Law rarely comes home or frequents all of the Donquixote events, he’s on the board of the company. He knows the Vinsmokes.

“Not right now, if that’s okay.” He nods again and you take a very shaky breath. “I guess I should just go to sleep. It’s been a long day.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” He rises, but his cold stare is still pressed upon your agonised face. “Need help getting up?”

“No, thank you.” You shake your head. “I’m just going to finish my routine and go to bed.” Law nods again and turns to leave. He hesitates for a moment, almost as if he’s going to say something else. But he doesn’t and the moment passes when he exits the bathroom, closing the door and telling you to call him if you need him.

Your mind is still filled with hurtful thoughts about Ichiji and your crappy relationship when you finish your nightly routine and finally open the door to return to the room. When you do, you find Law stacking blankets on the floor, at the foot of the bed.

Raising your eyebrow, you approach him. “Whatcha doing?”

“Building a fort.” He replies dryly and you’re not sure if you should smack him or thank him for trying to bring the mood back to your light banter. You do neither.

“There’s no need for you to sleep on the floor, Law!” You point at the bed. “This is a king-sized bed. We can both fit.” 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind the floor.” He starts to open a blanket, but you grab it, crumple it and throw it to the armchair behind you. Law crosses his arms, eyebrow slowly lifting as he stares you down intently. 

You throw him back a defiant look but he doesn’t budge. So you kick the rest of the blankets he set on the floor under the bed in a very bratty manner. “There, no makeshift bed anymore. Now you have to sleep with me.”

You can almost catch a glimpse of amusement in his eyes. A mere flicker of light as his lips twitch. But he doesn’t indulge in it and instead he grunts. “Careful with what you wish for, sweetheart.”

The low drawl of his voice almost makes you forget the dread still coiling in your stomach. It’s sharp and, at the same time, velvety smooth. How does he accomplish that?

His piercing gaze draws goosebumps all over your skin and you break eye contact first before climbing into bed. “There really is no need for you to throw your back. There’s plenty of room up here.” You open the covers and pat the other side of the bed so he climbs up. Which he does, with a resigned sigh.

And the fact that you’re both, once again, in such a cosy, domestic setting, turns your stomach into a fluttering mess again and you sigh, lying down and turning off the light on your side. “Good night, Law.” You’re pretty sure he’s still staring at you, maybe trying to grasp your mood swings and failing to. You haven’t told him the whole story, so how can he?

Besides, you went from almost having sex to awkward silence, to a panic attack, to blatant flirting and now you’re giving him the cold shoulder. Any sane person would be fed up with your attitude by now. So maybe you should get your shit together, stop being an emotional mess, and just help Law through this.

Is it so hard?

And who are you upset with anyway? Yourself? Ichiji? Doflamingo? It’s definitely not Law, right? Why would it be Law? Just because he let his uncle get into his head, making you doubt your feelings for him? Making you want him in more ways than just physically? Making you blur the lines of what’s real or what you want to be real? Making you feel as if you could have this domestic bliss you actually crave…

Weren’t you off men in general? Trying to heal and whatnot? Why is this turning so goddamned complicated?

“Good night.” His words shut down your brain and you let out another tired sigh. Will you even be able to sleep?

-*-

It has only been about half an hour. It can’t have been more. Yet time seems to have stretched forever. Law’s presence by your side - though your back is turned to him - takes up the whole space. It expands with every breath he takes, overpowering you with every inhale of his scent.

It’s intoxicating.

You don’t think he’s asleep, or if he is, he’s the lightest of sleepers. You don’t hear a sound from him. Just a gentle stir now and again. You, however, can’t stay still. To try and eliminate Law’s presence, your brain conjures up the last time you slept like this with someone, so Ichiji is back on your mind.

Could speaking about him help ease the pain?

Worth a shot.

You take a deep loud sigh and Law stirs. He’s awake. “I told you about my relationship, but I didn’t tell you how toxic it was, even before I found out about the cheating.” Your voice comes out a little hoarse and it’s barely a whisper. Still, you don’t have to turn to sense that Law is listening, so you continue. “I stupidly thought we were in love. That he was the one. He proposed, in what I thought was a very romantic way, though in retrospect, it really wasn’t.”

The scene replays in your head and you roll your eyes in embarrassment. Before you can ponder whether to share it or not, your lips are already parting. “We were at a grand event - they have those a dime a dozen in Grand Line City - and I was feeling unwanted, invisible, like a chess piece being moved around on his ever-changing board. He was making connections, networking, talking business…” A huff leaves your lips. “Until he made a grand speech filled with generic facts about our relationship, dropped to one knee and popped the question. The ring was beautiful though, it was probably chosen by his assistant. One he was fucking, coincidentaly.” 

A stubborn tear slips from your eye, soaking the pillow. Law remains quiet, but his presence is grounding and you take a deep breath before continuing. “I said yes. There was too much pressure. We were surrounded by very important people, I couldn’t say no. Even if I had been feeling ignored just moments before.”

Your heart still clenches at the thought. “I fooled myself into thinking it was romantic and a grand gesture, but in reality, I would have preferred a much more intimate setting. A simple declaration… a rose instead of an audience. But that was much of our relationship. Me moulding into whatever he wanted me to be. Happy, pretty, silent… a doll. A simple possession. He was manipulative and…” The word catches in your throat. “Violent…” It comes out as a mere whisper.

Law doesn’t physically move, but the change you sense in him is profound. You can almost perceive the storm brewing on the other side of the bed as the silence stretches and shifts. “There was one time…” You haven’t thought about this in a while, yet it still hurts. “We were at another one of his functions - how he loved those - and we were speaking with a CEO of another company, one of his partners, and I was giving input because I knew what I was talking about, I worked for his father’s company after all.” Pride swells in your chest, you were very good at your job.

“Anyway, I thought everything was going well, until the CEO told my ex how much of an asset I was, how lucky he and his company were to have me on their team, and how invaluable I was. I remember being happy, flushed with pride, beaming to be able to help him with his business. But instead, even though he agreed with the CEO, to save face, once we were alone…”

You sense Law stiffen and the mattress shifts as he approaches you. Yet he still doesn’t speak or make any move. You remain still and continue. 

“Once we were alone he made sure to remind me how dispensable I actually was.” You could still remember the sting of his words. How cruel he’d been, telling you to stop acting so smug as if you knew everything. To stop showing off in front of important people because you were nothing. At least nothing without him. “I made the mistake of answering back and… well… he meant it as a warning, but the way he grabbed my wrist…” The memory of the pain returns, and you shift, grabbing your wrist and massaging it slowly as if it still aches. “It scared me. Of course he apologised immediately with hollow, soothing words. But it always returned to the same demeaning speech: I was only good enough if he was by my side. I was only worth something, because I was with him…”

Your voice fades, your hand still gripping your wrist, squeezing it as tightly as Ichiji once had. The pain of the past overflows, flooding the present. Your throat feels tight. You have nothing more to give. Ichiji broke you a long time ago and you are better now for it. You survived it, survived him.

Perhaps you can allow yourself the luxury of feeling worthless once in a blue moon. 

Why today has to be the day, you don’t know. But you’re with Law, in the middle of an important ruse. And you need to keep your shit together. 

However, though your brain grasps that important concept, your tears didn’t get the memo. They flow freely down your face and you’re trying your hardest to keep your relentless sobs hidden from Law. You already had your breakdown in the bathroom! Do you really need him to see you broken again?

Would he have still chosen you to act as his fake girlfriend if he knew how messed up you truly were?

Without a single word, Law reaches over, enveloping your waist with his strong arm, and rolling you over, so you can lie against him. You nestle your head against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, hoping it can soothe you and mend your pain, his arm drapes around your back, pulling you closer to him in a silent gesture of comfort.

You take it all.

For a moment, neither of you moves, neither of you speaks and the only sounds that surround you are the gentle hoots of the owls outside the window and your harsh breaths as you hold back sobs.

Then, as soft as always, Law’s fingers brush the wrist you were gripping so tightly a moment ago. He’s tender, gentle, but his touch leaves a trail of fire on your skin. The blaze erases any and all bad memories and the phantom ache dissolves into nothingness.

A breath of relief escapes your lips. For a moment you wonder if you should apologise for your behaviour. This isn’t getting your shit together. It’s just breaking apart. 

“I wasn’t just scared.” Your voice is muffled against his shirt, you don’t dare to look up into his eyes. “I was also ashamed. Ashamed that I let him talk to me like that, that I allowed him to touch me like that. And then… and then I felt guilt. Because maybe it really was my fault, maybe-...”

“Stop.” It’s the first time he speaks since you started sharing your story. A story he deserves to know. He told you about Monet. There should be no more secrets between the two of you. His voice is level and controlled, but you can still sense a hint of barely contained anger in the way his hand clenches around your waist. You’re beginning to know all of his tells.

A funny thought crosses your mind: after all this sham comes to an end, you’re going to know Law like an open book. And closing that book, ending that story, will be the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do.

“It wasn’t your fault. You don’t have to be ashamed, much less feel guilty. He’s the asshole. You just thought you were in love.”

You bite your lip to hold down a violent whine. “No, I was just the idiot that let herself stay with the asshole for four years! That’s what I’m ashamed of.” This whole confession, the way you’re sharing this with Law, is freeing. You never told a soul about Ichiji’s violent tendencies. It’s lifting an extreme weight from your chest. It's liberating and overwhelming at the same time.

It’s almost too much.

Law’s hand on your wrist climbs up your arm, grasps your chin and lifts your face to meet his eyes. They’re steely and the molten gold is dark and ominous. But there’s a flicker of care there and you grasp onto it as if it were your lifeline. “You’re not an idiot. You got out. You’re stronger than you think.”

He pierces you with his gaze until you relent and nod. Then he lets go of your chin and you settle back against his chest. Maybe you’re overstepping your boundaries, it isn’t really clear anymore. This night has blurred the lines beyond any and all recognition, but you feel so safe in his arms, so whole, so… at peace.

You never want to let go.

The hand on your back shifts as he starts to caress your hair in such a gentle way that you’re not sure you’re not already asleep and dreaming. Your eyes have fluttered shut a while ago and your sobs have subsided. Though Law’s shirt is soaked through, he doesn’t complain. 

Sweet oblivion is reaching out to you but you can still hear him as clear as day, even though his words are a simple murmur. “If this were real, you would never feel small with me. I would lift you up, not bring you down. You shine too bright to be dimmed, sweetheart. Rest.”

|Chapter 9|

[howaheartbreaks]

A collection of all the times Colin refers to Penelope.

Previously I had posted of all the times in Season 3, Part 1, and now I’ve gone through the entire series because I’m a bit mad. Anyway, enjoy!

What have I found out?

In regency times, referring to a young women by their first name at all was frowned upon unless they were engaged or married, let alone a nickname. It’s clear Colin and Pen have been friends for a while and she’s “she’s a very good acquaintance of the family”. Whether or not he sees her as a younger sister in the very beginning, Colin breaks societal rules with Penelope throughout all three seasons by always using her nickname Pen, full name or other examples such as being alone with her. It establishes that they have an intimate friendship and that he is very comfortable with her.

In early season 1 and 2 he calls her Pen in full earshot of his family, her family and members of the ton and yet no one blinks an eye. He call her Penelope when he has a more intense moment with her (Penelope, what a barb) or when he’s being more formal, and the former is probably because he’s realising his feelings are moving into an inappropriate place for him to call her Pen. In all of season 1 and 2, he only calls her “Miss Featherington” once, and that is when he dances with her instead of Cressida.

Season 2 he begins to call her Penelope more regularly, and when he’s speaking to other people about her as it’s more societally correct. He still calls her Pen a lot but his conversations seem to be more direct to her but it establishes the changing nature of his relationship, especially at the end of Season 2 when he says “I will always protect you, Penelope, you are special to me” but also uses it for the “I would never court Penelope Featherington” line.

Season 3 establishes that things have changed, as he seems to become more conscious of what her name means to him.

When Colin refers to Pen in public or with his family, he refers to her as Penelope, never Miss Featherington and not Pen. When Colin and Pen are alone, he uses the pet name Pen. It is reserved for her, like an intimate moment. The few times he uses her full name in private is either serious matters - eg will you marry me, trying to be formal or in reverence because he holds her in such high esteem.

When Colin finds out about Pen as LW, he stops calling her Pen altogether until their resolution at the Dankworth-Finch ball.

SEASON 1

“Good day, Pen” - Colin stops to talk to her at her house when he calls on Marina in their first conversation, “A wretched sonnet indeed” “Lord Byron he is not.” It’s established they have a very sweet, familiar relationship with her though it’s clear it’s a friendship.

“Pen” - Colin approaches her directly at the Vauxhall ball enquiring about Marina, they dance after Cressida spills the drink on her. “I am to escort Miss Featherington to floor.” He refers to her politely in mixed company.

“Penelope, what a barb.” He approaches her at the Trowbridge ball. They share an intense look at each other much longer than necessary.

Colin calls on Marina in episode 5. “I am uncertain of my travels at the moment, Pen” he say, still referring to her affectionately while he courts Marina. At this stage he calls her Pen in front of her/his family.

At their engagement dinner she chases after him in the hallway, asks him to speak and tells him of Marina’s love for Sir George: “Pen, of course”, “Trust me Pen, do not fret.”

After Marina’s scandal he sees her at the Hastings ball across the room and approaches her (he’s always approaching her). When he sees her, his mouth drops open and he looks very nervous. He does this several times and it’s his “in love” look - similar to how he looked at Marina, but he’s lacking his usual charm because he’s nervous and probably ashamed. He offers his apologies. “Pen” “Colin” they say at the same time. “I was a fool” “You were not a fool. You merely believed yourself in love. One should never apologise for that, when One finds oneself in such an incredible position one should declare it assuredly, fervently, loudly.” He’s looking so proud and comfortable with her in this scene that he drops her name again, “I have something I wish to tell you as well, Pen. I am leaving. Itwas actually you who inspired me. You kept reminding me how much I longed for travel.” He licks his lips nervously before he says this. (Her face is so heart broken Nicola’s lip does a little quiver) Then, “Should we dance, Pen?” He’s trying to engage with her and actually looks sad when she rejects him and he watches her leave. His eyes widen and he stares after her open mouthed. And of course, he looks to her house as he leaves for the summer.

Season 1 Count

Pen: 8

Penelope: 1

Miss Featherington: 1

Season 2

After his very intense gaze at her in the drawing room after he returns from his travels (his in love look), Pen and Colin do not get to speak. He sees her at the races and his mouth gapes again when he sees her, and he’s very happy, “Pen!” “Pen, how have you been?”

They run into each at Lady Danbury’s party and Pen remarks about all the interest shown to Edwin when they barely know her, “Not a devotee of mystery, Pen?” He speaks about finding connection with someone so he didn’t feel lonely and her letters were so encouraging, “I thought, If Penelope can see me this way, surely then I can too.” He says that he is sworn off women, “I am a woman,” she notes. “You are Pen, you do not count. You are my friend.” The way he says Pen is quite reverent. She takes it as an insult that he doesn’t see her as a woman but my take is that he sees her above them. “Pen” is something more.

He next says her name when the Ton arrive at Albury Hall in Episode 4 and Eloise has been reading her women’s rights pamphlets. (The first scene with just Colin, Eloise and Pen together): “Prepare yourself for many a quotation, Pen.”

Colin goes to see Marina who tells him that he’s just a boy and to move on, and there are people like Penelope who care for him. “Penelope?” They run into each other on the stairs later my Colin is still dwelling on what Marina has said. “But, I suppose there is no use dwelling on the past. I am indeed thinking of the future. Pardon me, Pen.”

After Anthony’s wedding is on hold, Pen approaches him in the garden as he drinks from a flask and they speak about their purpose. He stares it her in awe as she speaks about hers, “Your dreams are grander than you let on, Pen.”

She inspires him to take up an investment and goes to her house to speak to Jack Featherington when she hears his voice and enters the room, “The lady of the hour.” He asks her to walk him out, “Our relationship has taken place so naturally of the years, one could take it for granted. You have always been so constant and loyal, Pen.” At this stage he’s decided this venture will help them both. Portia turns up and Pen and Colin look guilty for standing so close. “Miss Penelope was just seeing me out.”

At the Featherington Ball, Colin takes Pen’s hand and pulls her into the drawing room to expose her cousins plan, “I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, Pen, but I have looked into him and believe him to be a mere charlatan.”

After his speech to Jack, Colin downs a drink and takes Pen to the floor to dance. “I will always look after you, Penelope, you are special to me.”

And queue the extreme whiplash as we get Colin with the boys, “Are you mad? I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington, not in your wildest fantasies, Fife.”

Season 2 Count

Pen: 9

Penelope: 5

Penelope Featherington: 1

Lady of the hour: 1

Season 3

Here we go! There’s definitely a shift in this season because she’s starting to look at her differently. He stops referring to her as Pen unless he is with her alone and reverts back to Penelope as Pen starts to become too intimate for him.

After he has returned from his travels, Colin approaches Pen at the presentation while she stands alone. “Pen, it is good to see you.” (“Is it?” She asks. Take him down, Pen!)

“And what of Penelope?” - he asks Eloise of their friendship.

At the Danbury ball she runs past him after Cressida has trodden on her dress. “Pen! She did not look well did she?” To the boys before he runs after her. He slipped on her name in this scene.

“Pen,” He addresses her alone as he approaches her. “Is something wrong, Pen, between us?” He whispers softly before telling her he misses her. Says “Pen” when he tries to speak up after she calls him out for saying he wouldn’t court her and girly walks out leaving his ass alone.

The next day he rushes to see her to make amends alone in her garden. “And I am most certainly not ashamed of you, Pen.”

In the market scene during their lessons, “Pen, living for the estimation of others is a trap. Once you break free, the world opens up.”

When she mentions that Bridgerton house is where she feels most comfortable, he rushes to get her to over. “Penelope, I have eagerly been awaiting your visit,” he addresses her in front of the footman. It’s the first time this season he calls her Penelope, but not alone (Rae doesn’t seem to count to Colin either). He moves her to the drawing room alone where he tries to set the scene for their imaginary ball, “Imagine it with me, Pen.”

When he catches her reading his journal, “Pen, were you reading that?” Even when he’s mad he still calls her by her nickname.

In the carriage to the ball with Eloise he returns to calling her “Penelope?” Something he has never done in front of El in the past.

At the ball Colin encourages her to flirt with Lord Basilio and she gets nervous as he is a Viscount and he says, “and you are Penelope Featherington, do not forget that”. When he says her name he says it in reverence, in glowing praise where he respects her name. Others usually use disdain when referring to the Featheringtons but as mentioned in season 2, Colin is not in the habit of consorting with those he holds in low esteem (and when he comes to his senses see how he completely drops the toxic lord squad).

Lord Basilio runs off crying about his horse: “Pen, what happened?” They laugh together and it’s so adorable.

The crowd talks gossip about them and Penelope runs off, and he exclaims “Pen!” As he runs after her. He slips in public and it’s always when he’s worried and running after her. As soon as he confronts Eloise he says, “did you tell anyone of my helping Penelope? What could Penelope have possibly done to warrant your maltreatment?”

He comes to her house and she asks him to kiss her. He changes to “Penelope,” to potentially protest, or to say something but she cuts him off. Her full name is a formal response after she has asked something uncomfortable of him, but it’s also used when he starts to view her more seriously.

In his dream he calls her by her nickname, “Pen, I’ve not been able to sleep, not been able to eat, I can barely… speak these days.” It’s tender and intimate. His dream is so romance novel.

After their kiss he is feeling ~feelings~. He speaks to her so formally under the willow tree, “good day” and they are both so adorably awkward. They are trying to be more formal with each other in a sudden interest in propriety, because their familiarity is what lead to the kiss and she feels like they need to take a step back by distancing themselves. He doesn’t know how to conduct himself because calling her Pen is too intimate and he’s only just putting together consciously what that intimacy means to him, “Penelope, I wish very much for your happiness.”

The next time he addresses her by name is the end of episode 4!!!

Colin interrupts her and Debling’s dance after he realises Debling will propose, “Pen, you cannot marry him.” He’s calling her Pen in the middle of the dance floor, but if you haven’t figured it out at this point, Colin is so far beyond the rules of society and nothing matters to him except breaking off this engagement.

Which brings us to (drumroll)… the carriage scene!

He chases down the carriage and flings the door open, “Penelope!” Is it formal now, is it because he’s more serious about her? Is it because there’s still people around. He tries to make his excuses before fumbling around to, “He’s not right for you, Pen.” Smoochy touchy feely, “For gods sake, Penelope Featherington, are you going to marry me?”

Part 1 Count:

Pen: 13

Penelope: 10

Penelope Featherington: 2

Use of Penelope has increased substantially for a few reasons. 1. He’s speaking of her to others more regularly. 2. He only refers to her to others as Penelope now. 3. He uses Penelope directly with her instead of Pen in serious/emotional/charged situations.

Part 2:

“Hyacinth, I do not think Penelope can breathe.” He’s so adorable in this scene, and still referring to her to his family as Penelope.

He starts professing his love to her to his brothers: “My feelings for Penelope are not a thunderbolt from the sky, I have known her a very long time and perhaps I have always felt something for her, but only foolishness was not realising it sooner.”, “Perhaps I shall go and see Penelope now.”

Portia implies Pen entrapped Colin to get him to propose to her when just yesterday she was expecting a Debling marriage, but our hero swoops in with one of his many gallant speeches, “Your daughter did not entrap me, I proposed to her out of love, nothing less. And were not so narrowly concerned with your own standing, you might see that Penelope is the most eligible amongst you. In the future, I advise you not to sully our Bridgerton name by suggesting otherwise.”

He takes her alone to their new place, and he stares at her reverently as he confesses, “I will always stand up for you. Because I love you, Pen.” Her name is soft and intimate and meaningful to him.

Eloise is mad at him and he says, “I apologise for not telling you earlier about my feelings for Penelope”, “And it was Penelope this and Penelope that and Penelope and I are going to read Don Quixote and we are going to be knights. Penelope is going to be your sister, soon. There is a time that would have been your greatest dream. It would mean the world to me to have your blessing and I know it would mean a great deal to Penelope, too.”

At their engagement party (gosh what an episode), he approaches her with, “My bride-to-be.” (Squee)

Colin begins his engagement party speech,“It was my atrocious riding that allowed me to meet Miss Featherington… Pen, and I am so grateful to be here with her tonight.”

It is the first time this season he calls her Miss Featherington and it’s in front of family and friends and wider ton members, but it’s also the first time he publically announces her as Pen this season and to a wider social. Both in the same sentence!

He begins to call her Pen again when they are around family and friends, something he hasnt done since last season, “Pen, where did you run off to? I was looking for you.”

“Pen!” When she faints.

BOY is so stressed the next morning when he comes to call on her. “Pen! Are you well? I’ve been worried.” Once he’s a bit more relieved, he sinks back into more of a formal greeting in front of her mother (who is now awkwardly chaperoning now for the first time ever…) “Good day, Miss Featherington… for now.”

At the Kent Ball, poor baby Colin is feeling like he has done something wrong and says he wants to try writing his memories on its own as, “I want to be worthy of you, Pen.”

At this stage, Colin finds out that Pen is Lady Whistledown when she rushes from the party to print. In their confrontation he does not use her name, only “You are Lady Whistledown.”

At this point his feelings for her are supremely altered as although he loves her, he cannot deal with her being Lady Whistledown and the affection and familiarity he had with her is distanced.

When he confronts Eloise, he says “I saw you leaving a private room with Penelope before I found her.”

He does not even say her name in their tense conversation viewing the wedding breakfast room with her mother. He also does not say her name when they run into each other on the street outside of the modiste and have their moment of passion. He used to use her nickname in such reverence, in comfort, in intimacy and now cannot bring himself to say it.

The next time he says her name is during their wedding speech (my heart). “I, Colin Bridgerton, take thee, Penelope Featherington, to be my wedded wife.”

After they are married and she tries to run when the Queen appears, “Penelope, you are a Bridgerton now.” It is the more formal version of her name, but combined with their now shared last name.

Just when we think they are reconciling, Pen tells him she will not give up Whistledown. He sleeps on the couch on their wedding night and does not say her name again until she shows up at his house with Eloise and Portia present, “Penelope, what are you doing here?” Though I will add, although he’s very angry with her, Colin’s protective (and hot) husband mode switches on as he angrily states, “If miss Cowper spreads this gossip it will besmirch our Bridgerton name, and I will not have anyone blackmailing my wife.”

Welcome, Colin “My Wife” Bridgerton, I hope we see you in season 4. 🥰

He continues his protective streak with Cressida, “does she know of your blackmailing my wife?” But even when he speaks with Cressida to plead for her mercy, he keeps it formal: “This last year I found myself yearning to head word from home, from Penelope in fact, but I did not hear back from her”, “Penelope is no villain.”

For most of this speech it feels like Colin is speaking to himself as he tries/realises that he is forgiving her, “There is Whistledown, and there is Penelope”, “For her hand in your troubles, I know Penelope feels remorse. If even Penelope can find grace for you, do you not see that the ton too will forgive you.”

When Colin tearfully returns, having failed from his talk with Cressida he admits, “Perhaps Penelope was right, it would have been better to just pay her.”

Once Penelope reveals herself as Lady Whistledown and gives her speech to the ton, Colin approaches her. She offers an annulment and he is upset at it, “Pen,” (the first time he’s called her Pen since he found out she was Whistledown!!) “Every since I found out you are Whistledown, I have done everything I can to try to separate you from her. But the other day I went back and read all of the letters you sent me, your letters have always been the ones I am most eager to read, and I realised… you are her. You have always had one voice, there is no separating you from Whistledown… I love you. Now, will you please do me the honour of joining me on the dance floor, Mrs Bridgerton.”

I think it’s super clever that they used her name as another way he tried to separate her from Whistledown and something I wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t a super nerd and wrote this. The things you notice! When he refers to her as Pen again it’s clear that all of his concerns are gone and he’s happy with her again AND referring to her by her married name is the perfect final main story finish.

Bonus Epilogue:

“I could not have written my book without the help of Philomena’s aunty Penelope.”

Season 3 part 2 Count:

Pen: 7

Penelope: 20

Penelope Featherington: 1

Miss Featherington: 2

My bride-to-be: 1

My wife: 2

Mrs Bridgerton 1

TOTAL COUNT S1-3

Pen: 37

Penelope: 35

Penelope Featherington (in full): 4

Mrs Bridgerton: 1

Miss Featherington: 3

Lady of the hour: 1

My Bride-to-be: 1

My Wife: 2

TOTAL COLIN REFERENCES TO PEN: 81

PS: if anyone has a gif of Mrs Bridgerton please let me know I can’t find one!!

Anything I’ve missed let me know!

[anarchomitsumi]

okay so stl 61 !! this chapter has laid out ujie's worldview: there are those in this world that are liked, accepted, popular, —and those that will always be shunned. only a limited amount of people may be the lucky ones.

and turns out, shima's worldview isn't so different. for him there are those who take, and those whose things are taken away from.

either you are born a shunned monster or the doctor that created it. no nuance is accepted. it's essentially a reaction to being socially shunned, you end up resenting the people you deem guilty of your misfortune so much that you deny them their own depth of being. they are the fortunate, they could never understand your suffering. it's a feeling quite common among teenagers, i think.

if i were to point out something, it'd be that for ujie this classification into fortunate-unfortunate is unmovable. he has no hope of changing his social fate. for shima, however, it isn't set in stone. he's determined to get out of it and get back the things he's been robbed of.

ujie just seems...very bitter about the way he's been treated. when both mitsumi and his unnamed classmate say 'you shouldn't criticize someone who's giving it their all', his eyes just seem to say yeah, but who's gonna empathize with me? no one gives me grace when I'm giving it my all.

he's essentially jealous of the good treatment he thinks shima is getting from their peers. to him, shima's fortune is the cause of his own misfortune.

but along the way he's denied shima any humanity, shima cannot have any depth or trouble in his eyes. i think this is especially easy to see in the ending pannel, after shima confronts him, when he says so that guy is human too — implying he thought before that shima wasn't human because he couldn't understand struggle.

it's a type of ideology that, though an understandable defense mechanism, is very unfair to the people around you.

what specially gets me though, is that ujie tells shima he's ARROGANT for taking the monster role. this is shima, we know he has been behaving against his wishes to please others since he was little. we know he performs to be liked, but despises the attention he gets because they like him for his appearance, his performance, never truly him. when ujie calls him "arrogant", he's implying shima enjoys the empty attention he gets from his peers. and to be told that you enjoy the very thing we know troubles shima the most...i can understand why he got mad.

here's the thing though — ujie understands that the attention shima gets has nothing to do with what he actually does or with who he truly is. he understands it's an empty sort of acceptance, but regardless to ujie it still looks more desirable than his own situation. it might be impersonal but that also means it's unconditional. shima will always be liked because he's attractive.

(to shima though, it's not unconditional at all. he thinks the moment he starts acting truly like himself everybody will despise him)

so yeah. closing thoughts. i think this was truly a beneficial encounter for the both of them. for shima, it helped him get out of his self pity spiral for a bit and acknowledge ujie's point of view. and also he was assertive for a change ! shima exhibiting an emotion that isn't a fake smile or resignated indifference?? what?? i can't believe he actually....got things out of his chest for a change.

and for ujie, i think this has broadened his worldview. he understands know that people as seemingly perfect as shima can indeed struggle as well. the world isn't cleanly divided into Blessed By God and Doomed Forever.

i also hope this helps him get rid of those awful thoughts that he'll never be accepted. if shima is an anomaly, —like he found out today — maybe he can be too. if that little smile in the last pannel is anything to go by, his bitterness might just start to crack :)